#but now my parents are like 'the house is too old & requires too much upkeep as we age lets move'

[slowandsteddie]

Part Two is here

Steve likes to clean headstones at cemeteries.

CW: drug mentions, weed being smoked, glossed over panic attack (I didn’t want to write on it too much), and Steve is so incredibly lonely.

3018 words. Not edited but I was EXCITED.

Steve had always enjoyed going to the cemetery. He had family buried there, sure, but that wasn’t what he went for.

He was the kind of guy who went to clean off the older headstones that no one else did. There was just something so honest and relaxing in giving people their names back.

A water bottle, a soft bristle toothbrush, and an old credit card were all he took out of the car with him whenever he parked. Steve cleaned in sections, giving each stone the time and care it needed to get all of the dirt and grime off of it and out of the names. As soon as the names were clean, he’d gently place his fingers over them and smile.

“Hello, Clarence.” He said softly. “It’s so nice to see you again.”

The only answer was a slight breeze and a crow cawing.

“Hello, my love,” he said to the bird before carefully pushing himself to his feet.

His knees were sore. That headstone required a lot more precision as it was a lot older and one wrong move would probably leave it crumbling. He had told the front office a few times about it, but they wouldn’t take care of it.

“We can’t make money upkeeping stones of people who have no family left to mourn them.”

He lost track of how many times he had been told that. It didn’t stop him from cleaning the stones and letting whoever was the receptionist that day know.

When he was done for the evening, he’d allow himself to bask in the peace that came over him and warmed him. He’d have a smile on his face that lasted until he got home.

The contentment would leave as soon as he saw that big house that he lived in. His parents were never home and he had no siblings to help him fill the empty halls with noise.

Steve used to throw a lot of parties, just so he would have other people under his roof with him. He hadn’t done that since the night that Nancy called their relationship bullshit and then immediately got into one with Johnathan. It hurt him more deeply than he could express, but it was a much needed wake up call.

The Upside Down was another wake up call, but he tried to ignore that one.

Now, if he wasn’t at work or hanging out with The Party as they liked to call themselves, he was cleaning headstones until he had to leave. He thought it was ridiculous that the cemetery closed at night. If he could, he’d probably stay the night in the mausoleum just so that the people resting there would know that they weren’t forgotten about. Not while he still had air in his lungs.

Most people would tell him that there were healthier things to do with his time. Less morbid things in any case. But he felt so alive when he was alone with the stones and birds. It was better than being alone with half a house he wasn’t even supposed to go into.

His room, the kitchen, the bathroom. That was what his parents wanted him to confine himself to. Not even the living room because he wasn’t supposed to have guests over when they weren’t home. And they were never fucking home.

Steve parked the car in the driveway and stared at that stupid fucking door that had nothing behind it and sighed. Deeply. The car was still running and his fingers tapped on the steering wheel.

No.

He couldn’t do it. Not tonight. He couldn’t stand the thought of being so utterly alone right now.

So, he backed out of the driveway and started driving again. He wasn’t even really sure of where he was headed, just that he wasn’t going to that house right now. If he went too far, he was going to have to stop for gas at some point and he didn’t get paid for a few more days. That meant he might go hungry for a day. That was fine. He’d cross that bridge when he got to it.

Eventually, he found himself at the trailer park. Wayne’s truck wasn’t there, but the van was. A good sign that Eddie was home and that his uncle was at work.

This time, Steve did turn off the car when he parked. A moment of hyping himself up later, Steve got out of the car and went to knock on the front door. Thirty seconds after that, he heard someone tripping over something. Then the door opened.

The smell of cigarette smoke rolled out into the fresh air and he couldn’t help but to breathe a little deeper.

Eddie looked good, his long curly hair pulled into a messy bun and baggy sweats hanging a little low on his hips. Any other circumstance, and Steve was pretty sure he’d feel blessed that he got to see Munson without a shirt on. He might have been scrawny but those tattoos were a work of art. He was a work of art. Fuck.

Steve had to blink a few times to realize that the other male had been talking to him.

“Sorry. Rough night,” he explained. Though, it hadn’t been rough until he started thinking about being alone. Again.

“How can I help?” Eddie’s voice was smooth and Steve had to swallow before he could reply.

“Do you, uh, have anything left in that lunch pail?”

“Is Steve Harrington really at my door, asking to buy weed from me?”

“Is that a yes or a no answer, Eddie Munson?”

“It’s a get in here and give me a minute answer.”

Steve didn’t need to be told twice. He went inside as soon as Eddie moved out of the way before closing the door behind him. He ran a hand through his hair as he took another step, just so he wasn’t right against the door.

Eddie wandered off, back to his room probably, and Steve stayed where he was. He looked around the small place and realized that this was a home. A place that was lived in, a place where love resided. His house could never compare. It was bigger and in better condition, but that meant nothing to him.

“You’re in luck, I have a baggie with your name on it.”

“I swear to god if you just used that sharpie to write The Hair on that bag…”

Eddie tossed the sharpie away from himself and whistled innocently. Steve wanted to be annoyed, but he actually laughed.

“So. How much?”

Eddie tilted his head.

“For the stuff?” Steve continued.

“You’re going to buy and smoke it, but you draw the line at saying weed?”

It should be illegal for someone to look that good while being that condescending.

“How much for the weed, Eddie?” Steve gave in.

“For you? I’ll take ten bucks.”

“Damn,” He replied as he pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. “That’s highway robbery.” A sly smile tugged at his lips as he pulled out a Hamilton and held it out for the older male.

Eddie took it and put the baggy in Steve’s still outstretched hand. “Now get out of here. I have a reputation.”

“You? What reputation?” He teased.

Eddie grinned. “The one where I don’t hang out with jocks. See you tomorrow, Harrington.”

“Not if I see you first, Munson.”

Steve shook his head before heading toward the door. Their interaction kept him warm all the way home.

That time when he arrived in his driveway, he stayed there. He pulled the keys out of the ignition and locked the doors to the vehicle before walking around the side of the house to get to his backyard. He knew better than to get into the pool while home alone, even if he was on the swim team. But that wasn’t where he was headed. He kept walking until he was in the woods, at his usual haunt.

He had built himself a little structure that was barely big enough for two people. It was tight and comfortable. Very underwhelming compared to the house that constantly felt like Too Much. He sat down on the small pile of pillows and wrapped a blanket around himself in an attempt to get that warm feeling back from his interaction with Eddie.

He grabbed his bong, which was always in his little hut, and the nearby water bottle before setting it up. Next he grabbed the lighter and flicked it a few times to make sure that it still worked. He didn’t smoke weed a lot, a baggy could probably last him a few months, but sometimes he just needed to be under the influence in order to handle being in his room. With the hazy feeling, it was easier to pretend that there was someone in the other room. Or, at least easier to believe that it could be true.

One hit was all it took for him to realize that Eddie had given him the good stuff. A huge smile tugged at his lips. He’d make him some cookies or something to thank him. He’d have to come up with a good excuse to stop by that Hellfire table at school and drop off a plate, but he could figure it out later. When he got that far.

A second hit gave him the feeling that he was after. Steve felt so cool when he realized that he didn’t choke like he usually did. He took care of everything properly before hiding the weed under the pillows that he had been sitting on.

He wandered back to his house, feeling a little better about the whole Alone Situation, and went in through the backdoor so he wouldn’t have to walk around the house again. Steve got a few steps away before remembering to go back and make sure that the door was locked. That had him checking all of the rest of the doors and even the windows.

When he got to his room, he stripped down to his boxers before crawling between the sheets. He pulled the covers up to his chin and snuggled in before closing his eyes and letting his mind wander until he fell asleep.

—

It was five o’clock in the morning when Steve’s eyes flashed open. His heart was pounding as he worked on untangling himself from the sheets. Trapped. He felt trapped.

Somehow, he ended up on the floor with a solid thud that knocked the wind out of him. He was gasping, but at least he was free of the blanket that had him pinned in place before.

“F-fuck,” he groaned as the tears started to slide down his face.

He gave himself a few minutes before forcing himself to his feet and stumbling to the bathroom. Shower. He needed a shower. So that was exactly what he did.

One fifteen minute cold shower later, Steve was feeling more himself again. He dried off and got dressed before taking his time to make sure that his hair was perfect.

After all of that it was still too early to head to school, which meant that he found himself going to the kitchen and pulling out the ingredients to make some chocolate chip cookies. It was a safe choice. Everyone loved chocolate chips and there were no nuts in case someone had an allergy.

A double batch of cookies later, the phone was ringing.

“Hello?” Steve greeted, cradling the receiver between his ear and shoulder as he wiped his hands on the apron that he had put on before he started baking. He adjusted the phone onto his hand as he straightened up. “Hello?”

“Stevie!” His mother’s voice came across the line. “We’ll be home for a few weeks soon!”

“That’s great, mom. I can’t wait to hear about this adventure.” It was hard to sound excited.

All that complaining about an empty house and knowing his parents were coming back didn’t help. His mother would fuss for a day or two. His father would act like it hadn’t been months since they’ve seen each other. They’d probably even ignore him as usual, to be honest. His parents tended to think that making sure the bills were paid was more than enough. It wasn’t. Steve was done trying to convince them of that, though.

They talked for a few minutes, her words not really sinking in. Then he hung up and leaned against the wall, trying to convince himself to not cry. He took a deep breath and almost called Eddie before just hanging up the phone again and walking away from it.

Steve slid all of the cookies into a Tupperware container before grabbing his backpack and heading out to the car.

He was still going to be too early for school.

Which meant that he headed to the cemetery to clean a few headstones beforehand.

—

Steve was rolling through the motions, something that no one picked up on despite his reputation as King Steve. He was grateful for that.

His morning classes blurred together and then it was lunch time. He didn’t even have an excuse in mind when he walked over to Eddie’s table. If anyone told him anything, he ignored it. Instead, he set his bag down and unzipped it before pulling out the cookies and handing them to the older male who looked at him strangely.

“I didn’t poison them, Munson, jeez.”

Then he was zipping his bag back up and walking over to sit next to Tommy and Carol. Steve tried to focus, but he found himself looking toward the DND group a lot. Eddie was grinning as he wiped some cookie crumbs from his mouth.

Good.

The afternoon classes also passed in a blur, and then he found himself at the cemetery again.

It was a nice place to be, especially on a day like this. It was warm and sunny with a light breeze and some clouds in the sky. A crow was talking to him and he was talking back, saying things like “hello, my love” and “how is my pretty baby today” and “who should get their name back today, hmm?”

Eventually, he did find the headstone he wanted to clean. It was in a corner he hadn’t gotten to yet because of the beehive and swarms of the little stingy friends. Steve was allergic to bee stings, but he was calm and collected as he walked past them. He knelt down and gently brushed away what he could get with his hands before opening the bottle and splashing some water down. Then, he gently used the toothbrush to clean away dirt and moss.

Steve wasn’t sure how much time had passed, though he did look up when he saw a shadow. He was surprised to see Eddie looking down at him.

“Whatcha doing, Harrington?”

He leaned back so he was sitting on his feet and used the back of his hand to push his hair away from his face. There was no use trying to say that this was anything other than what it was.

“I like to give people their names back.” He shrugged. “It’s stupid, I know. But I think that they know they’re being remembered, or at least thought about, when someone can read their name.”

“It’s not stupid, Steve,” Eddie said softly before squatting down on the other side of the headstone.

They looked at each other for what felt like ages. It was probably only seconds. The older male pulled out his handkerchief and gently rubbed away enough that Steve could read the last name on the stone he decided to clean.

Munson.

“Who was she?” He asked softly.

“My aunt. Wayne’s wife.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I barely knew her. But sometimes I come out here because he can’t. And she deserves to be remembered.”

Steve felt like he was seeing Eddie in an all new light. He didn’t want to make the other male think about it too much. Besides, it seemed like he wanted to change the subject.

“I, uh… I come out here almost everyday. Clean different headstones based on who I feel could use it the most that day. I talk to the crows, too. Sometimes I let them pick for me.” He was blushing again.

“Did you bake those cookies?”

Steve was the one grateful for the subject change this time.

“Yeah. This morning. I realized how good of a deal you gave me last night and I just… wanted to thank you.”

“They were amazing.”

“Thank you. That recipe is the only thing I got from my grandma before she passed. She did make me promise to not tell anyone the secret ingredient, though.”

“Was it crack? It tasted like crack. I couldn’t stop eating them.”

Steve laughed at that before pushing himself to his feet and offering Eddie his hand.

“You caught me. I have a huge supply of crack for baking purposes.”

Eddie snorted. “I knew it.”

They released hands and Steve had a feeling that it was reluctantly on both sides, not just his.

“I’m glad you found me.”

“Yeah?” Eddie seemed surprised.

“Yeah. I’m actually highly allergic to bee stings and I might have needed some help with the epi-pen if one got me.”

They both laughed at that, though Steve did notice that he was being guided away from the stingy friends after that. The hand on the small of his back felt like friendship, though he’d never say it.

Once they were far enough from the bees that the older male stopped feeling the need to keep them walking, Steve met his gaze.

“What about your reputation?” He joked.

“What about it? Just because I don’t hang out with jocks doesn’t mean that I’m going to let one die because they wanted to give my aunt her name back.”

“I think you might have a soft spot for me,” Steve joked.

“Yeah,” Eddie murmured while glancing at Steve’s lips. Their eyes met again. “Maybe I do.”

Let me know if I should do a part two.

#stranger things #steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #eddie stranger things #steve stranger things #steve x eddie #steddie fanfiction #Rory writes #these boys mean the world to me #your honor they are in love #slowandsteddie

[cormierweiss41]

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[corvidaedream]

im covered in mouse shit and i wish i could remove my skin and throw it in the washing machine and then shower just as, like, a skeleton for an hour.

#renovating the abandoned schoolhouse that my parents are renovating bc its on the property attached to the tavern #it was supposed to be the tavern originally but then it was going to cost too much to get it to food safety standards #but now my parents are like 'the house is too old & requires too much upkeep as we age lets move' #and for some reason 'less upkeep' means renovating the abandoned schoolhouse. to live in. #and its not abandoned! theres living residents there and they are Mice!!! #and they have been shitting in the ceilings and walls for generations!

[theramseyloft]

Hello! I was wondering what sort of requirements pigeons would have and the whole breeds thing. (Sorry long ask) How much room would a pidge need? Like cage size and also, how would one go about excersizing them? Do you reccomend letting them fly free for the day and come back at night? Would they possibly get hurt or catch a disease/parasites out there? Are they expensive to keep? And what breeds are the most friendly/affectionate? Thank you :) 1/2

You know how some dogs have been bred to look nice but have a multitude of health problems (ie pug, chihuahua, great dane ,dachshund ect) does that happen in pigeons too? And if so, how does one know which might be genetically predisposed to getting problems later on or just generally wont have the best quality of life? 2/2

Whuf!

These are really broad questions. I’ll have to break them down and answer ne at a time, so I apologize in advance for the length of time it will take me to get this ask out.

“How much room would a pidge need? Like cage size...”

Pigeon breeds range in size from the tiny Valencian Figurita and Portuguese tumblers (vying constantly to be the worlds smallest breed) to the literally chicken sized Giant Runt.

So the amount of space required depends on the breed’s size and energy level.

Homers are about the average.

Here is an old picture from before the loft’s redesign of two of my breeding pair in their pens.

These are labrador sized dog crates, outfitted with a rabbit’s corner litter pan as a nest box and a garden stake cut to length as a perch.

Pigeons need flat perches because they are cliff nesters. Round ones like branches or dowels hurt their feet.

If yours is going to be a house pet, the cage should be what a crate is for dogs: A safe place to sleep or wait for you to get home until it learns the house rules.

Pigeons are intensely social birds that are happiest with the freedom of motion to come see you when they want, and go occupy themselves when they don’t want company.

The nice thing about pigeons is that they don;t need to be all over you all the time. They are independent enough to go do their own thing, but want to be able to come check on or spend time with you.

Which dovetails nicely into your next question: “how would one go about exercising them?”

A pigeon allowed to free range indoors will exercise themself plenty.

If you cannot let them free range the entire house, letting them out in your bedroom while you are home will be fine for most breeds.

“Do you reccomend letting them fly free for the day and come back at night?”

Absolutely not!

“Would they possibly get hurt or catch a disease/parasites out there?”

That possibly could be turned all the way up to a guarantee.

Performance breeds like racers, rollers, and tumblers are over bred to make up for the losses during training flights from inclement weather getting a bird lost, hawks snatching them out of the air, and diseases picked up from wild birds and brought back.

“Are they expensive to keep?”

After the initial cost for set up and the vet check to make sure they don’t have parasites and aren’t ill, the upkeep for a few is shockingly cheap.

You can get a lab sized kennel for $50-70. If you want an even bigger space, Great Dane kennels are about $80.

You can buy a wooden garden stake from pretty much any hardware store for about $5.

The bunny corner box is not required if you aren’t breeding. Pigeons will just as happily use a dollar store dog bowl to nest in.

My vet bill for a new bird is $70: $35 for the exotics wellness exam, $20 for a throat swab, and $15 for a fecal test.

I expected feral and lost birds to have lice, worms, parasites, and infections, but was floored when every single show bird I ever purchased from breeders did too!

You’re better off in the long run assuming something needs to be healed, cleaned out, or cleared up and just finding out from the vet as soon as they get there what needs treating.

Clear it out then, and an inside bird is pretty well set.

You can buy 50lbs of feed for $20 at Tractor supply.

And 50lbs of calcium supplements for $11.

I have 36 pigeons and 2 ringneck doves right now, so 50lbs lasts me a little over a week.

But a single bird will eat off of that for over half a year.

“And what breeds are the most friendly/affectionate?”

Most of the Exhibition breeds are pretty friendly, but from most to least kennel space, here are the ones I have enjoyed the most hands on:

Utility kings

These are the size of chickens and will need a LOT of flight time. 

They are a meat breed, so they are genetically predisposed to docility, but also obesity.

They do best free roaming the house full time. It’s really hard to find a cage big enough to comfortably accommodate them.

Giant Homers

Utility kings are a squabbing breed, designed for constant production of big squabs, so they are more bird-shaped than the Giant Homer, which was bred to be eaten as an adult, and then for the aesthetic of a fat round bird.

Like the Utility King, Giant Homers are known for their mellow, gentle temperaments. But after having worked with them for a few years, it seems mostly to be that they are simply too big and heavy to evade effectively, and they know it.

Along with being prone to obesity, their sheer weight puts tremendous pressure on their feet and they can develop huge, painful calluses.

I like my mixes better than their purebred parents, because they inherited the temperament with out the bulk that causes painful or dangerous health issues.

Lahore

Named for the city in Pakistan where they were developed, the Lahore is a huge, gorgeous bird. 

Their wing span more then the size of their actual body makes them difficult to cage, so it’s best they have the run of at least a bedroom.

these are laid back and mellow, but not exactly touch me birds. If one gets on your shoulder or in your lap, feel honored.

Frillbacks

For the same reason as the Lahore, Frillbacks can be difficult to pen indoors. 

An individual can be happy in a Great Dane sized kennel, but frankly won’t fit comfortably into anything smaller.

These are very laid back, not especially flighty, and quite friendly. Young birds are very much cuddle bugs, and the individual pictured still comes up to me to nurse between my fingers.

No known associated health issues, but individuals with especially long muffs can stay especially still because the shaft of the feather under the skin of their feet is bigger around than the bones of their toes, making walking painful.

Show standards require large muffs, so it can be hard to find them with muffs like Bean’s here.

There is one breeder that raises hers with short muffs and entirely clean legged. I’ll be happy to link you.

Voorburg Shield Cropper

These leggy, slender birds are a pain to house because of their height, but the only breed I know of with points taken off in the show standard if they are not friendly enough to try to court the judges.

This sweet flamboyant temperament makes them an absolute delight to work with!

These are the first on the list with no known health issues associated with the breed.

Show Type Racing homer

This is an elegant exhibition breed, easy to house in the example set up we discussed at the beginning of the ask.

They are bulkier than racing homers or flying type show homers, VERY tightly feathered.

This is a wonderfully sweet tempered breed that tends not to be especially flighty. 

Some of that is due to the sheer bulk of its musculature, but most of it does genuinely seem to be temperament.

Old Dutch Capuchine 

These have a reputation for being docile, but I have found them to be quite flighty.

Mixes incorporating this breed, though, tend to be quite bold and out going.

Racing Homer

This is the most commonly available pigeon breed.

Bred for endurance racing, this is a very high energy bird that needs a LOT of time out of the pen to fly. 

They have the strongest immune system and highest intelligence of any of the pure breeds.

though some individuals can be hair-trigger flighty, this breed is keenly intelligent and highly curious, and those individuals can learn to overcome their flightiness if their handler can learn to be aware enough of their comfort levels not to startle them with too-quick motion.

Lucerne Peak Crest

Named, like the Lahore, after the city in Switzerland where the breed was developed.

The Lucerne is an extremely temperature hardy breed. 

It’s among what are called the Owl Breeds; small, compact breeds with short to mid length beaks, round faces, and large, round eyes.

Most of the owl breeds are mellow and sweet tempered, boldly curious, and not generally prone to be flighty.

Their beaks being a little short makes their nasal slit narrow and the opening to their sinuses wide, so small seeds like Millet can get stuck in the nasal cavity of some individuals.

Classic Old Frill

Oh, this is my favorite purebred.

The total pidge package: Small, friendly, shockingly beautiful, devoted parents. 

There is absolutely everything to love about this wonderful cuddle bug breed.

Nun

These are a gorgeous breed, often described as being friendly because they are not smart enough to be wary.

They are unspeakably awful parents, prone to literally treating their eggs like an especially large, uncomfortable poop.

Old German Owl

Another absolute delight of a charming little Owl breed.

These are as stubborn as they are sweet tempered, which can make them a really fun challenge to train.

These are cuddle bugs, for the most part. 

Chinese Owl

These are tiny little clouds that range from intensely curious and strongly treat motivated to absolute refusal to have anything to do with anything even remotely human shaped with very little in between. 

Small and easy to house.

Portuguese Tumbler

This is a tiny bird, not much taller than a conure.

They are bred purely for aerial performance, so this is a SUPER high energy breed that, like the racing homer, needs a LOT of out time.

They are very bold in their friendliness, eager to check up on you and steal a cheek-smooch before zooming off to resume doing their own thing.

Unfortunately, their breed standard requires their back toe not to touch the ground. They go on tippy toes when they are happy, excited, or relaxed, which makes something like a human hand or shoulder physically difficult to balance on, and there for uncomfortable to stand on.

So trying to pet one throws their balance and stresses them severely.

Mixes with stronger feet are thrilled to have the affectionate attention of human flock mates.

Valencian Figurita

The tiniest owl breed, currently just barely winning out over the Portuguese tumbler.

It’s known for its trapezoidal head shape and upright stance.

This is a bold, plucky little bird that in my experience loves shoulders. ^v^

They are bred a little too small, though, tending to only lay one egg to a clutch, with many dying in the shell with out space for the peep to develop.

Their hatchlings are often given to ringneck doves to foster.

“You know how some dogs have been bred to look nice but have a multitude of health problems (ie pug, chihuahua, great dane ,dachshund ect) does that happen in pigeons too?”

Oh, god, you would not believe the number of pigeon breeds that aren’t even bird shaped!

There are nearly twice as many severely distorted breeds as fit, bird shaped ones.

Check the Modern art Pigeons tag.

“And if so, how does one know which might be genetically predisposed to getting problems later on or just generally wont have the best quality of life?”

Pippin is a feral pigeon.

This is about the closest you can get to the base line natural shape of the species Columba livia.

The more pigeon-shaped the breed, the better.

Ferals are, genetically, a blend of the homers, rollers, and tumblers that survived getting lost on training tosses or during performances.

Here is Wilson, another purebred Racing homer.

Because this breed is designed to fly marathons literally hundreds of miles, it’s a lot more compact and muscular than Ferals and genuinely wild Rock Doves, who only need to fly as far as it takes to find enough to eat in a day.

The farther off this base line you go, the less physically fit the breed.

The American Fantail is an especially heinous train wreck.

Its chest is out thrust over its head, its neck curves parallel to its spine, and its head is propped up by its own tail feathers.

This pitiful creature is not just displaying.

Their skeleton is permanently stuck in that shape.

Parlor rollers are bred with a combination of neuromuscular defects that throw their balance when ever they flap their wings, sending them into a panic as they flail to right themselves.

Parlor Tumblers have a less severe version of the same group of deformities:

We talked about the Old dutch Capuchine above.

Jacobins are the extreme “modern” version of the ODC.

You could trim their feathers to clear their field of vision

But their very long necks tend to collapse into their shoulders with age.

The male Barb’s huge, wrinkled wattle and ceres block off their nasal passages and deform the eyelids so that they may not be able to fully close.

Cocks usually go blind with in three years, but that doesn’t matter to their breeders because their peak show and reproductive performance is between their first and second year of age.

The Short Faced Budapest’s show standard requires its eyes to telescope as much as possible.

Its eyes are literally bigger than its skull, and don;t fit in their sockets.

The eye lid is all that holds them in.

And some can’t fully close their eyes.

This is the Oriental Frill, also called the Modern Frill.

they have literally no beak.

Turbits have a longer head, but a nearly inverted beak.

These birds can;t feed their own young, and struggle to preen themselves.

Aaaand here is the Egyptian Moraslat 

This is a very typical attitude among breeders of these birds with extreme body shapes.

I also have a series on weird, but physically sound breeds, and would be happy to go more into those in another ask.

#tw: animal cruelty

[schroedingersk8]

15. Let Me Draw You A Pie Chart

Or  Why I Refuse To Date For Free. 

I have written this post as a personal opinion, but I think it would be of tremendous use to my fellow Dommes and International Women of Mystery, as a read and perhaps a thought experiment, too. If you have any questions, please contact me via K8Morgan.com

I have woken up today, and have decided to dedicate my inaugural 2020 dating blog post to what is bound to become a very a prickly subject -- remunerated dating. Thing is, that yesterday, before going to bed, I have posted a three-line response to an anonymous question, and woke up to an anonymous answer in a scandalised line of “how dare I?” :)

And I laughed to myself, but also thought that, in this day and age of #mansplaining and with my work as a Dominatrix shrouded in all kinds of myths, maybe I ought to do a bit of #dommesplaining (I am very proud of this hashtag, btw!) and show exactly how, and why I dare. So, my dear, let me draw you a pie chart: 

This is my pie chart of life. 

Are you with me so far? Am I condescending enough? 

You can read it as a day, month, year, etc -- this is an entire life-flow, and I have organised it, for myself, in in the following manner:

There is “Me time” -- a pleasant tea on a sunny bar terrace, a visit to a SPA, upkeeping my good looks -- manicures, haircuts, meditation, just 20 minutes of quiet nothingness to myself. Then there are “Vanilla Life Obligations”-- doing a food shop, waiting for deliveries, arranging household needs, plumbers, boiler revisions, own health check up, cat health check ups, getting paperwork done, etc. Then we come to “Active Hobbies and Social Obligations” -- things I enjoy doing outside of the house -- maybe an opera visit, a museum stroll, a theatre performance, a gallery opening, gym, walk in the park, an excursion, a friend’s birthday party, or crisis counselling, or just a few beers with gossip et al. We also have “Passive Indoor Hobbies” -- things I usually do in the comfort of my own home -- reading classics by the fireplace, covered in Feline Overlords, watching some telly, taking a bath...you get the drift. And then, there is “WORK”. Want to venture a guess and pick which one is which? 

How well did you do? It is, of course, a very rough estimate. But this is how I have arranged my life. 

As you notice, there is no pie slice for “romantic relationship” because for me it is not a necessity. I am very happy with my current life, and 2020 will mark 9 years of me being “emotionally single” and “self-partnered”. Would it be nice to have a relationship? Maybe. But at this point it will be coming at the cost of other things. And I am not willing to surrender those things. Should I skip a visit to El Prado because you want your knob polished for free? Should I stop seeing my friends and family, who have been with me for years, because your ego needs continuous attention for the following 3 weeks, every time you come home from work? Should I banish my cats to an animal shelter because your balls need free shining? No? Then the only thing that has to give is my work time allocation.

“Pah, you dedicate too much time to work!” -- I hear you scoff. Now, have you met many self-employed/entrepreneurial people? Do they spend 30 min a day, only, on their projects? Let me remind you that DOMMEWORK IS WORK. S#X WORK IS WORK. If I were doing a PhD, would you whinge about my time allocation to studying? 

My work is something that brings me joy, my work is something that I find challenging, stimulating and fun. My work is something that pays my bills. All those things are already more than what I can say about your contribution to my life so far. 

And, as any work, it gets even more detailed:

I do not know if you can see it well in the picture, but my work currently consists of seven parts:

Research and Development -- studying marketing and pricing trends, consumer behaviour, strategies, new BDSM fabs, new media tendencies.

Implementation -- with the results of research and development in mind, making website updates, skill updates, new inventory and alike.

Analytics -- establishing what worked, what worked best, and what did not work at all, and changing things accordingly.

Work Admin -- reading and answering all your emails and inquiries, about sessions, pricing, availability, and about chances to date me for free.

Business Admin -- taxes, forms, rebates, etc etc etc.

Social Media Maintenance -- social media is the pipeline from where I get my clients, and no maintenance = no new clients.

Actual Sessions or Tours -- the time actually spent in sessions or preparing for sessions.

This, above, is a VERY rough estimate of what currently goes into my work. This does not even include the work I do for my fan sites. This is just the most basic task allocation in the most basic idea that you might have of my work. 

Yes, I am self employed, but the world these days places same requirements on the one-person-flying-circus as they do on corporations. Everybody expects me to post pretty pictures a few times a day. Everybody expects me to provide customer service. Government expects me to pay taxes. Anyone with a New Year’s Resolution to “date me this year” expects a reply, and then an even longer reply of “why not?” Clients expect me to look my best. To succeed in industry I need to be on top of the tendencies. And to be proud of my work I expect myself to do my absolute best. 

And yes, I HAVE to do everything myself. As such, I employ a cat nanny/cleaner so I can spend few more hours per week learning and studying. Yes, I do as well as I do because I DELIVER on most expectations. And I am able to DELIVER on them because of meticulous hard work that I put in, today and every day, into my business. (Tumblr is part of my Business Profile, by the way, otherwise I wouldn’t be spending time on it. For example, I deemed Instagram no longer cost effective after 3 years as it was not worth the time I had to put into it in terms of prospective client growth, so I stopped using it, at 50K+ followers.) 

As I hope you understand (I simply cannot draw a more basic pie chart!), any reduction in time I spend doing my work results in less income for me. Now, DommeWork, in terms of my age, and in terms of my looks, is an enterprise limited in time. Whatever I save is my future pension, it is my future cash flow, it is my nest egg, for when I retire. Why should I deprive myself of that, so that you could get your knob polished for free? Why SHOULD I make less money for myself just so you can save YOUR money??? 

“Oh, you only have dollar signs in your eyes, you do not value me as a person and as just an cash machine!” -- No, my dear, my stance on “free dating” has absolutely NOTHING to do with you, or how I view or value YOU. But it has EVERYTHING to do with how I view MYSELF, how I VALUE MYSELF, and how I VALUE MY TIME.  Even to give you, a man from the Internet who thinks I owe him free dating, a try for a month, and dedicate 20% of my work time, to you, instead of work, will result in a 20% reduction in MY income the following month. Now, 20% of my average monthly income is roughly my monthly rent. So, I should give up my ENTIRE month’s rent in order to see whether you are worth it? While you do not think you should be paying for dating?

And, what exactly is “it”? The funny thing is that in the “best case scenario” of us moving in together and living happily ever after, you would occupy at least half of my time, ever pushing for more, costing me a 50% reduction of income (that’s TWO ENTIRE RENTS) to then just have to contribute “your fair share” of HALF THE RENT!!! 

So, you are down HALF the rent, while I am down TWO RENTS AND A HALF! And when you yelp “but what about love, love should be free, it is priceless, a relationship should be about two equals!” this is exactly how much YOUR priceless love, by the roughest estimate of the projected loss of earnings based on time allocation is going to cost ME, per month. TWO AND A HALF RENTS. While you insist it should be FREE for you because it is priceless! Show me the equality in that relationship, you equal rights champion you! Where is it? Or is it like in Orwell’s “Animal Farm”, some pigs should be more “equal” than the others? I mean, really???

Do we need another chart to explain to you the “bigger-smaller, up-close or far-away” concepts? Because your parents should have explained it to you when you were about 4 years old... 

“Yeah, well, other women do not expect me to pay them to date them!” -- I do not know what to say to that  -- maybe they value themselves less. Maybe they have too much free time on their hands and are bored. Maybe they cannot entertain themselves. Maybe they need help watching Netflix. Maybe their rents are so high in relation to their overall income that half a rent or half the mortgage for them is worth the trouble. Maybe the contribution they think you will make to their life is worth it for them. Or maybe they need to take a look at my pie charts themselves? In any case, if free dating is what you want, you should address your needs towards them, not me. 

So, my dear, as I dash to my drinks and tapas with friends, as it is a beautiful Sunday afternoon -- and I had to push back my attendance by an hour to finish writing my work blog post to address the topic raised too many times this week alone -- let me give you a word of advice. Before you get your panties in a knot and get thinking of what you can get from me for free -- ask yourself a very hard question: what can you really contribute?

No one, under the penalty of the EU copyright laws, is allowed to use or reproduce my blog or individual posts, or even passages, in any way, shape or form, be it for Netflix series, Amazon books, or anything of the kind, regardless of the credit given. If you have any questions, you may contact me via K8Morgan.com

#DommeSplaining DommeLife #DommeSplaining

[talix18]

November 5

(AM)

In the moments when I’m lonely and longing for a life partner who lives with me and cooks for me and prods me to do the many projects around the house that need doing, I imagine what it will be like to make room in my house for another person. I’ve lived a long time, I contain multitudes, and each of those multitudes requires at least one room’s décor dedicated to it. This décor includes lighting, wall art, and hella knickknacks, which I’m learning are perhaps privileges and not rights. I am a terrible housekeeper. I keep the kitchen and the bathroom mostly liveable at all times, I scoop litterboxes regularly, and I do clean up obvious messes that are clearly out of place (cat vomit, food splatter, errant toiletries). I even keep up mostly with sweeping as I like to pad around barefoot or in socks.

But when it comes to, say, vacuuming the cat hair off the couch or dusting, I am Not Good. I’ve also lived alone for so long that I’ve gotten in the horrible habit of embarking on a Project – hanging knickknack boxes; reconditioning my leather goods in the wake of The Mold Issue (it was penicillin-ish, not the black stuff, praise the baby Jesus) – and quitting part of the way through (usually because of time constraints and a commitment of some kind), leaving the evidence scattered in my wake. (Currently on my floor are a pile of shoes, boots, and purses and some leather cleaner. My knickknack boxes and said knickknacks are strewn across the dining room table and the hearth of my wood stove. My intentions are good. I know that I want to complete these projects and honor the energy I spent starting them. Sadly, motivation and energy are not available On Demand in my life, and significant time elapses between the beginning of the project and the cleaning up of the aftermath.

I have cats. Cats come with shed hair and the occasional DIY beach simulation beyond the litter box. Dust happens. It happens with alarming regularity and perseverance. It’s most pronounced on the shelves that don’t get touched very often (all the stuff that’s just for looking at; the bookshelves that are too rarely visited). As my media consumption leans further toward streaming, dust has enveloped the stereo, CD racks, and TV console. If anyone besides me saw the state to which I’ve allowed my home to be taken over by the assorted cobwebs (imagine Ms. Havisham’s tablescape), I would have the sense to be ashamed. I would also shrug, rail against the social expectations that single home-owning women are expected to meet, and usher my guest out the door to attend whatever function has brought them over in the first place.

At this point it is fair to ask why I don’t just hire a cleaning service. Well. Remember that whole lack of energy and motivation thing? There are conditions in which I am willing to live, but I would never ask someone to clean up after me until my home was in some sort of organized and settled initial state. It’s been at least two and a half years since I can honestly say this has been the case. (That’s not even including the dresser drawer that is almost certainly on the bedroom floor.

First, the cats moved in. I took in the cats when they were three and their owner was moving out of state. His situation involved temporary lodging with a friend and the cats weren’t welcome, so Jack and Lily (formerly Jill) came to live with me. When they came, I’d been a cat-free home for just about a year. Long enough to get rid of litterboxes and food bowls, but not long enough to pull up the wall-to-wall carpet the house came with. And I really wanted to get the carpet up, as my dearly departed Bo, who is really the reason I bought this house, was bulimic for most of his life. And his life was a long one, so he had his own crotchety habits, which included peeing in places that were not the litter box. I cleaned up behind him to the best of my ability, but my guess was that new cats would be able to tell he’d left parts of himself behind. (Besides the handful of whiskers that I collected when they fell out. Did I mention I’m a witch?)

Since the cat acquisition was, on my timeline, relatively rushed, and my bookshelves and couch are heavy, I made the executive decision to cut what carpet I could get to away and go back for the remnants later. The cats are now six, this is officially their Gotcha month, and three years later, we’re all still living with those remnants and the exposed paint splattered plywood floor revealed by removing the carpet. (We’ve also learned a hard lesson about how much insulation that carpet provided in the winters since its removal.)

I had every intention of putting down new flooring, but that requires money. Which I had more of before The Mold Incident.

The Mold Incident announced itself most obviously on a leather duffel bag I brought home from India (21 inches long for $45 US and I had acquired more than my suitcase could hold) and a leather backpack I got in Italy (25 years ago). A person other than myself would have assessed and remediated the situation in a timely fashion, I imagine. I know people exist who don’t have anxiety about phone calls and who get things done rather than letting them pile up, and I wish one of them lived in my house. (Future significant other, I’m looking at [for] you.) I, on the other hand, let the situation continue to worsen until it was obvious that the problem was not going away, no matter how hard I ignored it.

One mold inspection later, I was assured that the mold was of the friendly green-ish antibiotic kind and not the deadly black kind, and assured that the problem was simply one of humidity. Encapsulating my crawl space and installing drainage and a sump pump would keep the mold from coming back. (Remember those two thousand-year floods that destroyed historic Ellicott City twice in three years? I live up the hill from historic Ellicott City and my town also flooded in that second storm. I knew that water was sitting in my crawl space when I saw a wet spot on my bedroom floor.)

Cleaning the mold that was already in the house would cost, I was told, somewhere around $5K. Or I could do it myself, using a one-to-one combination of white vinegar and blue Dawn. All I had to do was wipe down all of the walls, ceilings, furniture, and exposed surface. And launder every article of clothing in my closet and coat rack. A friend lent me a garment rack that lived in my dining room as I took everything out of the closet and put back the mold-free stuff, culling for things that could go to donation bags because my closet was Way Too Full.

I finally gave back the garment rack, but the pile of shoes and bags remains. And the cleaning every exposed surface fizzled out (though the bucket, rags, and ingredients remain at the ready). Encapsulating the crawl space required getting in there and cleaning everything out (the pile of mildewed insulation was…something), which required pulling up part of the floor in the spare room. (Where my contractor saw the places in the floor likely to cave in and installed three new joists to prevent that. He also replaced the part of the wall in the closet that was secretly a hole hidden under siding and, while he was at it, finished the siding on the house that was begun when he built me a new utility room.)

Are you tracking the costs that are adding up? Clearing the crawl space, installing the joists, hanging the siding, and finally the encapsulation itself. Altogether, I basically bought a new economy car and shoved it under my house. The only part of it I can see is the siding, and that’s not even the color I really wanted (because the color I wanted was “premium”; for the sake of all you hold holy get the big things the way you really want them if you possibly can [that should probably go for the small things too]). And my floors are still paint splattered plywood.

(PM)

The hanging of the siding knocked lots of pictures and knickknacks from the walls, which led to the removal of a shelf that held the knickknacks, which revealed paint that needs to be touched up. Well, there’s no point in doing the floors until the walls are painted. Okay, but there’s a fist-sized hole in the electrical panel in the spare room that needs to be patched first. Which I can finally get to now that the HVAC is installed. Did I mention the new HVAC system? Maybe it was a new midline car, one third of which is in the attic.

Where was I?

I’m learning, as I contemplate all of the things I have to move and decide whether to keep and clean, that ownership is one thing, but maintenance of stuff is a different issue. Maybe this is a thing other people learn when they are much younger. Addict. Depressed. Brain issues. Bear with me. I understand that cars involve maintenance costs; so do pets and children. And houses in general require upkeep that isn’t associated with other living situations. I knew relatively early on that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the costs of having a kid – even if I could make it work financially, there are no days off in bed when you’re a parent. I knew I’d made the right decision when a friend told me that for him, parenting made the highs higher and the lows lower. I can’t afford any lower lows.

So I don’t have kids, because on my own, I can’t afford them. I have a 15-year-old car that’s paid for, but also requires the occasional costly repair. It’s easier for me to coax occasional lump sums than a new monthly payment out of my budget, so I hold on to the car and maintain it to the best of my ability. I have a lot of books, which are pretty self-sufficient once they’re shelved, and theoretically it’s easy to wipe the dust from a bookshelf, unless you are a person who has so much stuff some of it gets propped up in front of the books. See if you can guess if I am that kind of person. (Spoiler: I am.)

#f**k fifty #nanowrimo

[forhelvede]

Where the Storm Meets the Ground Ch.2

I have no idea what I’m doing.

Chapter 2- Before Dawn

The smile Alexei gave her when she said she’d help was enough to probably melt her cold heart. He was an adorable kid. She wasn’t sure why she kept calling him kid. Maybe it was her way of distancing herself from the adorable, curly haired genius sitting on the couch near her.

Kind of hard to believe he was capable of ending the world, or at least Hawkins.

“Okay, great, so where do we start? What do you recommend miss Special Agent?” Jim said sarcastically.

Laurie felt her warming heart turn to ice again but she bit back an angry comment. Now wasn’t the time to delve into their past and certainly not in front of Murray or Alexei. She did want to sit down with Jim and talk, but there was the pressing matter of impending doom.

“Oh yes!” Joyce said excitedly, ignoring the obvious contempt in Jim’s voice. “You’re in the FBI, you can get agents or the military or whomever to come help, right?”

Laurie grimaced. “Um…probably not?” she said, listening to Murray translate in the background.

Joyce’s face fell. “Why not? The Russians are trying to kill us!”

“Yeah, but…it’s going to take a while to convince my superiors and they’re going to want more evidence than Alexei, your, forgive me for saying, paranoid delusions, and some drawings on whopper wrappers,” she said honestly and she tried to use a soft voice. “I believe you, but convincing the FBI proper is a different story. We frankly don’t have time for that. Sorry.”

Joyce looked disappointed and Laurie didn’t blame her. She had kids in Hawkins, a life. Russians opening a gate and unleashing some monster, or even if they just blew up the city, wasn’t good.

“But don’t worry. I’m good with a gun,” Laurie joked, winking at Joyce. The older woman managed a weak smile.

“We’ll call Owens. He can get the military,” Jim said, matter-of-factly.

“Who the fuck is Owens?” Laurie asked, looking at Jim.

“Dr. Owens. Works for the Department of Energy. He was involved in some stuff last year in Hawkins. He gave me a number to call if we needed help.”

Laurie threw up her hands as anger began to course through her. The Department of Energy? A conspiracy and cover up in Hawkins? All of it was too much in too short of time. “The fucking Department of Energy can call in the fucking military?” she yelled. “I fucking hate this government! Fucking kill me,” she muttered as she stood up from the chair. “Fucking Russians and monsters and now the Department of Energy was doing experiments? I mean,” she muttered to herself angrily as she stalked around Murray’s sad excuse for a living room. “Six years. I’m so close.” Laurie balled up her fists and ground her teeth together. “I’m gonna die in fucking Hawkins!”

“Uh, Laurie?” Jim said from the couch. “Are you okay?”

“AM I OKAY?” she yelled as she rounded on the group. “This is insane, Jim! MONSTERS? ANOTHER DIMENSION? What the fuck!” Alexei, though not understanding what she was saying, looked terrified at her outburst. His eyes went wide and he leaned away from her, though she was nowhere near him. Murray looked somewhat baffled.

“Oh no, she’s freaking out,” Joyce said, her motherly instinct seeming to come out. She stood up from the other couch, trying to appear calming and kind. “Laurie, it’s okay. Go ahead, freak out.”

“Wait-what? No, she shouldn’t freak out!” Jim yelled. “She needs to calm down!”

“She needs to freak out, Hop! We’ve had years of this stuff, she’s found out all of this insanity today in like an hour! Let her freak out. She’ll be fine.”

Laurie wanted to scream. She wanted to hit something. All of these years she had carefully crafted a career that was leading to one end point. She did her job, and did it well, she didn’t make enemies at the FBI (though there was always some man that thought women shouldn’t be Agents, let alone field agents), and she kept her cover. When she hit 20 years she would retire and find some lazy job that didn’t require going undercover or spending days researching whatever or investigating. Just lazy days.

But this? This could ruin her plans. Maybe she’d die today. Maybe she’d go to prison for killing Jim. Maybe this Russian would ruin everything.

Laurie spun on her heels to look at Alexei, trying to figure out if she had made the right decision to help him. He looked helpless; looked like a young man that knew nothing and could help no one. And yet…yet he was a Doctor and a scientist and dangerous.

What if he was playing them all? Using his boyish looks to lull them into a false sense of security?

Yet, as Laurie stared him down, furiously glaring at the Russian man, he continued to look terrified and she felt like she could see through him. Her initial thought of helping may be the correct choice.

And who would she be if she walked away?

I hate you, Laurie thought to herself as she looked at Murray, blaming him for the fact she was here and involved. “Alright, I’m fine,” she said tersely. Letting her hands relax, Laurie felt her shoulders drop. “So, you can call the fucking Department of Energy, which is fucking insane, but okay. Make the call and then we go to Hawkins. We’ll take Alexei to Starcourt Mall, we’ll infiltrate the Russian’s underground bunker, shut off the key and the Department of Energy can arrest the Russians. Okay?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Jim said, still reeling from her freak out. He stood up and walked over to Laurie. “How about we speak outside first?” he suggested in a quiet voice.

Laurie almost said no, but she nodded instead. The pair headed outside, leaving Joyce with Murray and Alexei. As the heavy bunker door shut behind them, Jim quickly rounded on Laurie.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he said, a little angrier than the sentence would imply.

“I’m fine, Jim.”

“That didn’t sound fine,” he said, pointing back to the house. “That sounded like you don’t want to be here.”

“Right, and you do? Fuck off.” Laurie waved him off and walked around him, absentmindedly walking around the driveway. “It’s just not how I envisioned this little visit going.”

“Lore, listen, you could just walk away.”

It was her turn to round on Jim, her jaw clenched angrily. “I should punch you for that. This is my job, Jim! I can’t just walk away and then lie to my boss! I’m not putting my job on the line for you,” she said angrily, poking him in the chest. “You aren’t worth that.”

Jim looked hurt, frowning deeply. “I don’t want you to do something you don’t believe in. I believe in this.”

She rolled her eyes. “I work for the FBI, Jim. That’s nothing new.” She sighed. “A kid?” she questioned.

He shrugged. “El…she needed a family.”

Laurie narrowed her eyes at him, noticing his shirt was floral but actually had fucking flamingos on it? She shook her head. It wasn’t that Jim had been a bad dad or husband, but the way he was when she last saw him…it perhaps had clouded her overall view of him. “Are you happy?” she asked after a moment.

He crossed his arms and his body seemed to tense. “Its tough work being the father of a teenage girl,” he admitted.

Laurie chuckled. “I remember those days. Diane, Emily, and I were assholes, for sure. Our poor parents.” She smiled as she remembered all of the times all three girls snuck out of the house in high school. Emily was always the worst at it, somehow managing to knock over something or shut the window too loudly. The memories faded away and she softened towards Jim. “I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think. If you treat her like a prisoner she’ll never forgive you. Set boundaries but let her live, Jim. There’s nothing wrong with her making mistakes. You can’t protect her from everything.”

Jim stared at her for a moment before nodding. “I just know teenage boys.”

Laurie smirked. “But do you know El?” she questioned.

He nodded. “I think so.”

“Then let her live.” Laurie tapped Jim lightly on his arm. “You look like shit, by the way. Take a shower.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “You stopped dying your hair,” he commented.

“Too much upkeep. I’m getting lazy in my old age.”

He guffawed loudly. “Yeah, 35 is just so old.”

“36, actually, but I’m touched you were close.”

Jim chuckled, rubbing his hand over his beard. “You happy, Lore?” he asked after a minute of silence.

She smiled largely. “Nope.” She winked and turned on her heel to go back into the house. Happiness, her sometimes partner Agent Floyd Tomlinson always said, was a fleeting emotion meant to placate people into a boring life with a white picket fence and a spouse that barely tolerated you. Nobody was ever really happy and there wasn’t anything wrong with that.

When Laurie walked back into the Murray’s sad attempt at a living room (finally noticing the dozens of TVs on one of the walls, stacked precariously) she was shocked to see that Alexei had curled up on one of the couches, already asleep. He had taken off his glasses and set them on the table with his pocket protector. Without his glasses, sleeping, he looked older. She looked over at Joyce in confusion. The woman shrugged and then walked over to the far side of the living room where Murray was leaning against a desk.

Laurie and Jim joined the other two, curious what they had planned.

“Now,” Joyce said, picking up Murray’s phone and shoving it into Jim’s chest, “call Owens.”

Laurie was still confused by the whole Department of Energy thing, but she figured she could unpack that later, presumably when she meets this Dr. Owens.

Jim quickly dialed the number as Murray hovered close by, Joyce by his side. Laurie stood away from them, watching the comical scene in front of them.

“Two minutes, Jim. It’s a secure line but anything long than that and they can trace you,” Murray said, the paranoia coming back out.

“Yeah, I want them to trace me,” Jim replied.

“What?” Murray said. Even Laurie was surprised. This was going to upset Murray, big time.

Laurie watched, the scene growing more comical by the second as Jim stumbled through the conversation, not prepared to give an identification name. He got off the phone, casually heading into the living room to sit on the free couch, lighting up a cigarette. Murray had fallen into a chair, giving up on everything.

But Joyce was not happy. She snapped at Jim.

“How are you so calm?”

“I’m not calm!” he said through a cigarette.

This is the best day of my life, Laurie thought, enjoying the whole scenario. She kept quiet as Joyce now took the phone and called back the number that Jim had just called. Joyce started off calmly, but the person on the other end had clearly insulted her in some way because she suddenly went off, yelling at the person on the other end of the phone.

Laurie stood, arms crossed, watching Joyce scream into the phone. She grimaced, pulling her neck muscles taut deciding then and there she would never get on the woman’s bad side. Curious, Laurie turned around to see that Alexei was still deep asleep. She figured the Russian probably had learned to get sleep whenever he could, even when things, or people, were being loud around him. It was a talent that Laurie had never really learned.

She turned back to Joyce as she finished yelling at the poor soul on the other end of the phone. She slammed the phone back onto the receiver and set the phone down on the table. Poor Murray looked absolutely distraught at what had just transpired, sitting bewildered in a chair, hands up in the air.

Clearing her throat, Laurie leaned closer to Murray. “I guess I’m not going to need to delete your address from the FBI database, huh?” she whispered.

Murray pushed himself up from the chair, grunted in her face, and then turned away, walking away from the group. Laurie was left, smiling awkwardly. They were a delightful little group.

“How long have you known his address?” Jim asked, momentarily ignoring his annoyance at Joyce.

“It took a few months, but we’ve known for almost as long as he’s lived here,” she admitted.

Jim seemed almost impressed, apparently believing that Murray was some master at staying hidden. He just wasn’t a priority for the FBI. They weren’t worried about him. “Wow. I-”

“Hopper!” Joyce yelled, pushing between Jim and Laurie. “We’re leaving!” she ordered them, heading straight for Alexei.

“Aww, let the kid sleep a little longer, Joyce!” Laurie heard herself saying. Her heart seized in her chest. What was wrong with her?

Joyce stopped, standing over Alexei’s sleeping body, looking over at Laurie. Jim turned slowly, looking at her in confusion.

“I’m sure you’re all tired,” she added awkwardly, trying to hide from this growing concern for the Russian. “We really have to leave now?” she asked.

Joyce nodded angrily. “Yeah. We’ve got to get to our kids.”

“Well, then. Maybe…you could just let him sleep until we’re actually leaving?” Laurie suggested softly.

“Why are you so concerned?” Jim questioned. Laurie could hear the accusation in his voice.

“Because….Jim, he’s the genius. So let him sleep so he can be on his A game. Ya know?” She hoped she was convincing. She certainly didn’t want him to sleep because he looked so cute sleeping.

That definitely wasn’t it.

Joyce and Jim exchanged a look before Jim shrugged. Joyce threw her hands up in the air, but moved away from the sleeping Russian. Laurie took a seat in the chair next to the couch, staring decidedly at the smattering of notes on the table and not at the sleeping Russian. One page grabbed her attention. She pulled it closer on the table and stared down at the few words of Russian on the page.

It looked to be the final page of notes and Alexei, presumably had ended it by writing “Destroy the machine and then I can live the American dream.”

Laurie smiled sadly before looking over at the sleeping Russian. She had helped three Russians defect before and she hadn’t liked them. She had barely trusted them, but the FBI had wanted to take the risk. Alexei, however, was one that Laurie might actually trust. He might actually benefit American society.

Yeah, she was definitely going to help him.

And it definitely had nothing to do with him being cute.

#Stranger Things #Stranger Things Season 3 #ST Season 3 #Alexei #Alexei Smirnoff #Murray Bauman #ST Fanfic #Where the Storm Meets the Ground fanfic #Jim Hopper #Joyce Byers

[stevedonnellyfaith-blog]

The Shrine Trip (Post 98) 7-22-15

Stephen and I made a mini-pilgrimage to a Lourdes Shrine in Cleveland over the weekend.  He really liked the one we visited a couple of weeks ago in Emmitsburg, Maryland, but I let him know that I was not driving south for the third weekend in a row so we settled on a commutable sanctuary.  I warned him not to expect a well-manicured spiritual venue frequented by scores of nuns in habit, solemn young priests and discalced Franciscan brothers like we saw at Mount St Mary's University.  Cleveland similar to many other Rust Belt cities and the majority of Europe has walked away from the Catholic faith.

There certainly are still Catholics in Cleveland, but they are a weak broth compared to the bubbling ethic piety that existed in most immigrant populated Mid-Western cities during the last century.  IHM is very lucky to have vibrant and thriving Phil-Am and Guadalupano communities within the parish.  In this area of the country there is nobody processing statues of Mary on her feast days, performing live Stations of the Cross in front of throngs of people, or waking up at an intimidatingly early time for Mass during the days of Simbang Gabi.  There is plenty of Life Teen activity and Pancake Breakfasts, but gone are all the ethnic Catholic festivities that you would associate with once predominantly Italian, German, Czech and Polish Catholic neighborhoods.  The cavernously empty amphitheater seating at the Lourdes Shrine in Euclid, Ohio stands as a testament to a flavor of Catholic spirituality that has been largely lost to my generation, but hopefully will interest younger folks that I think of as the Catholic generation of Chad.

I knew pretty much what to expect at the Euclid Shrine because I had visited there two years ago during a visit to Ohio to drop off Natalie for her summer vacation. It was a peculiar previous pilgrimage, because my father used the occasion to escape the house and dragged my mother along with us.  He was and is too challenged with regard to mobility to make the hike from the car to the familiar looking grotto manufactured to mimic its more famous cousin.  Dad rode along with the purpose of adding one subsequent stop at Geraci's, his favorite authentic Italian restaurant, and another at Gaelic Imports his repository for bangers and Yorkie bars.  I would have tried to impress upon him the irony of a man too hobbled to cane himself into a healing shrine, but Dad is not Catholic and I was pleased to have some private time in prayer bereft of paternal clock-watching.

I don't know how long I spent there or exactly what I thought about in quiet contemplation of my future, Stephen's health and my father's health on that day two years ago.  I probably came to the conclusion that it would be a good idea for me to write some stuff. While my particular prayers were a fuzzy blur open to speculative interpretation, I do clearly remember that I visited the gift shop and bought a print of the Our Lady of the Streets for my bedroom.  The portrait always reminds me of Pam.  I guess someone at IHM likes the image as well. 

I also purchased a liter plastic container to fill with the spring water stream that dripped across the authentic rock brought from the original grotto in actual France.  I was pleased to buy something from the well-accoutered but mostly unpatronized shop of curios manned by what seemed to be the last VHM sister from the adjoined dormitory that apparently could have housed seventy women or more.  A thoroughly lonely experience, I think I stood nearly solo at the altar rail of the outdoor sanctuary that could have provided adequate seating for 9:00 AM Sunday Mass at IHM.  That might have been one or two other people praying quietly as the water slowly filled my bottle at the speed of a kitchen spigot almost shut.  A white statue of St Bernadette watched me kneeling quietly and reminding me that neither she nor Pam had been physically cured by the wondrous water that healed so many people but not all depending on God's many faceted plan not human whim or desire.

But like a spider sense I felt the hourglass sand of my father's patience slipping from the upper chamber through the neck of the glass and down into the nether portion.  I possess a pretty good inclination of how long Dad can quietly read a novel in the car when his mind is considering which type of pasta and sauce he is currently favoring.  At any minute I expected my mother to get sent on a scouting mission from the silver Tahoe that lay calmly at anchor in the nearby parking lot.  So I booked it with only a partial sacramental fill in the white plastic half jerry can I had previously purchased.  Of course he yelled at me when I slipped back into the driver's seat to my mother's silent amusement because I had returned with less than everything that I had purchased, a Donnelly nono, although as a Protestant my Dad doesn't actually consider minor league Lourdes water as any more valuable or beneficial than bottled Dasani product. I explained to him that my beaker was actually half full rather than half empty which brought a guffaw from him.  As I remember, he shook his head in disbelief as if I had returned to the car cow-less with a half-handful of magic beans.  Dismayed at my lack of sacramental savvy, Dad ordered me to resume my duties as chauffeur so I turned his land yacht in the direction from which the tightly tuned divining rod in his stomach detected marinara sauce.

 With my own wheels this go around, I didn't have to worry about my father's impatience to leave - just my disquiet and fatigue.  I had worked with the third shift crew for the week so I had only recovery from extreme sleep deprivation planned for both Saturday and Sunday.  We drove up to the Euclid shrine on a quiet Saturday afternoon without anything else on the agenda.

Stephen was fully prepared;  he had cleaned out the residue of decades old Kool-Aid from a gallon-sized picnic thermos that he had discovered in my parent's basement or garage and planned to put my half-liter water supply to shame.  I decided that I would find something else to do in the largely deserted vicinity in case the septuagenarian sister from the gift shop should discover Stephen filling up his unofficial container at the little font.  I expect unpurchased containers were allowed, but I don't know that Stephen would have the sense to let someone else break in to fill up one of the little paper cups dispensed nearly the tiny spout of water coming off the rock.

Based on the remembered rate of flow from my previous visit, I figured that I had a half hour at least so I climbed up an asphalt path following a sign in the direction of some Stations of the Cross.  The trail was in better shape than I expected and I liked the plaster scenes, but the woods by the path were overgrown and the mini-sheds that protected the statuettes had not been painted recently.  It was a little like camp houses at Copperopolis - if you can't picture my reference, sign up for the next Emmaus retreat.  In a couple of cases there were Beebe gun holes in the protecting glass for the statues.  Greater Cleveland is not really a city that you expect to see hillbilly shenanigans, but maybe there are a few Hill Williams about.  The statuettes were all intact, but I was perplexed that anyone would use sacred art for target practice.  Several deer did happen by while I walked the path, so maybe it was just kids with really bad aim.

Because the glass and cabinets were sort of dingy, I snapped a few desultory pictures of the scenes and promenaded onward not expecting to burn the full half hour on the walk. Then I stumbled upon stations twelve and fourteen which were full sized statuary not mini-scenes.  Unexpectedly resplendent, both of the stations brought tears to my eyes. I realized at that point that I had stumbled into an experience that I was intended to have.  I didn't stay as long as I would have had I been alone; it makes me nervous to leave Stephen by himself.   I found that my son was fine when I got back to the grotto so I sat down next to Bernadette of white plaster and spend some time asking for some help with the unlikely house purchase that I am about to make. 

It was a good afternoon.  Stephen asked me about his water jug that contained a good amount of brownish water; I told him that it was very authentic with regard to how Bernadette's spring probably originally flowed.  Stephen bought me a book about angels in the gift shop so we contributed to the upkeep of a Shrine that I have come to value.  I recommend acts of piety and Traditional Catholic practice of the faith beyond mere Mass attendance to all of the generation of Chad.  I run into a lot of people that attend Mass once, twice or nonce a year.  I have heard a description of other Catholics that clock-in to their faith with holy water upon entering the sanctuary on Sunday and then clock-out of their faith again as they leave 60 minutes later.  There is so much more of God's love available to us.

I have found that living my life has required every inch of the spiritual roots that I have cultivated.  In retrospect every hour I ever spent in Eucharistic Adoration seems more necessary than just helpful.  A friend of mine spend hours and hours prostrate in Adoration; he tells me that he is still standing because of the practice.  I have another friend that I grew up with that is now a math teacher.  His mother, who I remember as a very devout Catholic, has now suffered a debilitating stroke.  My friend, unfortunately, probably only attended Mass as a kid under threat of corporal consequence.  The other day he posted on Facebook that he feels it is unjust that his mother should be rewarded for her faith with calamity.  I wanted to respond to him that he ought to formulate an inequality with infinite happiness times infinite eternal time on one side and a finite amount of temporal suffering on the other.  I didn't message that to him.  He wouldn't have understood.   Having never made any effort to gain roots in the faith, my friend is rudderless and may drift into the shoals of functionalism.  In the times we live, we all need strong Catholic roots, the sooner and deeper the better.

#God #Jesus #The Holy Spirit #The Virgin Mary #grace #hope #faith #love #Lourdes #IHM #piety #pilgrimage #Gaudalupe #Stations of The Cross #Our Lady of the Streets #St Bernadette #memories #bereavement #sacramentals #Copperopolis #emmaus #Eucharistic Adoration

[asafeatherwould]

Is There Any Likelihood Of A Wife Keeping The House In Divorce?

The house is often considered the trickiest of all assets in a divorce. On Day One as you approach divorce, you may be thinking, “My house is one of my biggest assets.” or “Maybe I want to keep it.” “What you really need to understand is that there’s a lot of due diligence to be done before making a decision on what to do with the house.” The hardest part is that there are many emotional and financial events that happen during a divorce. You might also tend to think, “I know my home. It’s the only consistent element to this whole disruptive process of divorce.” That’s why you might be inclined to want to stay or keep the house.

Major reasons why it’s so difficult to know what to do with the house in divorce:

• You are Distracted: Financial dilemmas layered on top of divorce are incredibly overwhelming and stressful. You are likely trying to maintain your current lifestyle, taking kids to sports, working or looking for a job. There are many things happening at once.

• Your House is a Symbol of Stability (and maybe even status): The house itself might come to symbolize some stability and consistency, especially for kids. They don’t want to change schools. It’s a safe-haven during times of disruption.

• Hard to Know Whether You Can Afford to Keep the House: Change is constant. House conditions, the economy, and job security may change; all affecting whether or not the house upkeep, taxes, bills, and mortgage are affordable. Real estate values are fluid. Let’s say that you decide to keep the house, and the value is determined to be $100,000. Then, something happens to the economy, or an interstate goes up in the backyard, or something happens to that value down the road. Can you withstand that?

• Sentimental Value: Your home feels priceless. Dissolving the marriage is emotional. You have poured your heart and soul into creating a loving home environment for your family. You have memories that are priceless and that cloud your ability to make rational decisions. “Most people think of their homes in regards to the memories attached to it. You don’t have memories attached to your 401K.”

Often time’s one spouse will express an interest in staying in the home after the divorce. “Usually but not always it is for the main reason of keeping the children stable after the divorce for a period of time, and to get them through the transition.” When it comes to who gets the house in divorce, “A court can order in the interim who stays or who goes, but what if a couple is in the house, and you are not sure what to do with it, and the house then could become a financial burden to one or both of you. If neither spouse can afford to live there, or if it is deemed not prudent for them to be there, then it’s not sensible for the children to be in that home. And because they cannot be supported adequately in that home, then a court may order the selling of the house and division of the proceeds. “If a spouse is awarded the house in the settlement agreement and they are currently not on title then they would be a ‘successor-in-interest.’ In other words, they are able to claim the title to the property via the signed marital settlement agreement. So they can do a mortgage refinance for divorce, but it would be a cash-out refinance because they aren’t on title. So they are limited to a mortgage amount of 85% of the value. They would have had to be on title for 12 months to do a rate and term refinance.”

Reasons to keep the house in your divorce

• You can afford it easily on your own. This means that after any refinance, buy-out, you can easily afford monthly mortgage payments, taxes, insurance and upkeep on your own income. If you require alimony or child support to stay in the address, that is too risky. You can create a single-mom budget easily on Tiller, an easy-to-use budgeting app.

• The home is the biggest financial asset for most couples. You walk away from that, you may lose a lot of assets even if he buys you out. Why? Historically, real estate has been a more stable investment when compared with stocks (recent years being an exception). Between 1978 and 2004, real estate appreciated an average of 8.6 percent per year. While stocks returned more than 13 percent during that time, they also saw more peaks and valleys. True, stocks grew more. However, that is just appreciation not including the wealth-building associated with paying off a mortgage, or the tax advantages.

• Because your household income is very likely to be lower post-divorce in the short-term, the tax write offs like mortgage interest and property taxes will be even more valuable post-divorce. Plus, if you were to sell your home, you can likely pocket most or all of the profits tax-free. Only a few investment vehicles provide such a tax perk.

• It may make sense to keep the house if it is easy to maintain on your own, without too much physical, emotional or financial cost. How to run a single-mom household like a boss

• You can make an argument for keeping in the event that it will help facilitate peaceful co-parenting. For example, if staying put means you can live closer to your now-ex, or closer to schools or each of your jobs, which makes everyone’s life more convenient, ‘happy co-parenting’ can be a reason to argue for staying put. Rules for co-parenting with even the most toxic ex

• The emotional reasons to keep the house include providing a measure of stability for you and your kids during a tumultuous time. This includes staying in the same schools and close to friends and neighbors who provided emotional and practical support. However, there are lots of very good reasons to let your marital home go whether to your ex, or to sell it on the market. One of the biggest mistakes I have seen in my work, as well as have heard from divorce attorneys, is women’s insistence on keeping the marital home in divorce to her detriment.

Reasons Not to keep the house in divorce

• You can’t afford it. Accepting that your income is now lower after divorce, and therefore you lifestyle must change, is often very difficult especially for the lesser earning spouse, who unfortunately is usually the woman. Going into debt, facing losing that very home you so desperately want to hang on to, and the emotional turmoil that financial stress induces is just bad news. Don’t.

• Selling helps you move on. Houses are emotional things. That house likely represented a family and life that you wanted very much to succeed but things turned out differently. Nothing like new real estate (and furnishings!) to re-launch your new life, and put your old one behind you. The same goes for when you sell an engagement ring or some other item that you shared.

• A new home is empowering! Whether you are purchasing a new house or renting a place on your own, moms tell me that doing this solo is one of the most empowering things they’ve ever done.

• It (might) teach your kids financial responsibility financial. Because your home is likely your biggest financial asset, you should treat it with as little emotion as possible. Compromising your finances, emotional well-being and good sense for the sake of keeping a house you really like is not a good financial example for your kids.

• Selling (might) teach your children emotional resistance. Sometimes life sucks giant, hairy donkey balls. It just does. Divorce is usually like that. But showing a measure of grace, moving on, and making wise decisions for your whole family in the face of rotten times is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids.

A cash-out refinance means that you apply for and receive a new mortgage for more than you owe. Typically, you can cash-out up to 85 percent of your home’s value.

Pros of a cash-out refinance during a divorce

• Easy way to access cash during a time when you may not have a lot of it • Interest rates on mortgages tend to be lower than if you were to do a home equity line of credit, home equity loan, personal loan, or credit card advance. • Interest rates on your first mortgage are usually tax-deductible • You can keep your home and don’t have to move, which can be important at a time when everything in your and your kids’ lives is in flux. • The mortgage is now in your name only, removing your ex from the debt and deed — which can feel really powerful for you, and be an important step in separating from your marriage and starting your life anew. Cons of a cash-out refinance during divorce: • Compared with a home-equity line of credit or home equity loan, closing costs can be higher • Signing a new mortgage may extend the period for which you pay for the home — even if monthly payments are the same or lower (this happened to me). • Signing a new mortgage may increase the overall sum you will pay for the property if interest rates have increased since you first financed it. • If the refinance means you end up with less than 20 percent equity in your property, you may need to add PMI, or private mortgage insurance, onto your loan.

Qualify for a cash-out refinance in your divorce

The qualifications for a cash-out refinance mortgage are the same as a new mortgage, in most cases. Because you are now divorced and seeking to own the home in your name only, the qualifications are for you as a single person (not as a couple). Since a cash-out refinance is essentially the same as taking out a new mortgage, requirements for qualifying are similar. Homeowners who own their homes and meet the following criteria may qualify: • Good or excellent credit (FICO score of 670+) • Significant home equity: at least 20 percent of the home’s value • Ability to repay the loan • A debt-to-income ratio including the new mortgage payment approved by the lender.

During divorce, finances are often very tight where there was once one household with two-income or one income plus a full-time person caring for the home and kids there are now two households, two sets of insurance premiums, and increased need for child care not to mention legal fees. Obtaining a new mortgage is a big commitment. Even though you may be emotionally tied to your current home, staying put is not always the best answer. Even if your mortgage payment stays the same after the refinance, you may not be able to afford it without stress and scramble every month. Also, while the thought of leaving your home may feel traumatic today, you may feel differently in months and years to come. In fact, you may want to break free from old memories and expectations that are attached to the home.

The decision whether to keep or sell the house should be made as a part of the overall global settlement. Consider the assets and debt you expect to obtain in the divorce settlement, your anticipated income and any anticipated support you may receive (alimony or child support). Also consider the tax effects, such as the mortgage interest deduction, which may decrease your tax burden and therefore increase the amount of your income available to you. If you cannot comfortably afford the housing expenses, it might be best to consider selling the house and replacing it with something more affordable. Take your time with this decision and utilize all of the resources available to you: your lawyer, accountant, financial planner, and a trusted friend or family member who is knowledgeable in these matters.

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Is There Any Likelihood Of A Wife Keeping The House In Divorce?

The house is often considered the trickiest of all assets in a divorce. On Day One as you approach divorce, you may be thinking, “My house is one of my biggest assets.” or “Maybe I want to keep it.” “What you really need to understand is that there’s a lot of due diligence to be done before making a decision on what to do with the house.” The hardest part is that there are many emotional and financial events that happen during a divorce. You might also tend to think, “I know my home. It’s the only consistent element to this whole disruptive process of divorce.” That’s why you might be inclined to want to stay or keep the house.

Major reasons why it’s so difficult to know what to do with the house in divorce:

• You are Distracted: Financial dilemmas layered on top of divorce are incredibly overwhelming and stressful. You are likely trying to maintain your current lifestyle, taking kids to sports, working or looking for a job. There are many things happening at once.

• Your House is a Symbol of Stability (and maybe even status): The house itself might come to symbolize some stability and consistency, especially for kids. They don’t want to change schools. It’s a safe-haven during times of disruption.

• Hard to Know Whether You Can Afford to Keep the House: Change is constant. House conditions, the economy, and job security may change; all affecting whether or not the house upkeep, taxes, bills, and mortgage are affordable. Real estate values are fluid. Let’s say that you decide to keep the house, and the value is determined to be $100,000. Then, something happens to the economy, or an interstate goes up in the backyard, or something happens to that value down the road. Can you withstand that?

• Sentimental Value: Your home feels priceless. Dissolving the marriage is emotional. You have poured your heart and soul into creating a loving home environment for your family. You have memories that are priceless and that cloud your ability to make rational decisions. “Most people think of their homes in regards to the memories attached to it. You don’t have memories attached to your 401K.”

Often time’s one spouse will express an interest in staying in the home after the divorce. “Usually but not always it is for the main reason of keeping the children stable after the divorce for a period of time, and to get them through the transition.” When it comes to who gets the house in divorce, “A court can order in the interim who stays or who goes, but what if a couple is in the house, and you are not sure what to do with it, and the house then could become a financial burden to one or both of you. If neither spouse can afford to live there, or if it is deemed not prudent for them to be there, then it’s not sensible for the children to be in that home. And because they cannot be supported adequately in that home, then a court may order the selling of the house and division of the proceeds. “If a spouse is awarded the house in the settlement agreement and they are currently not on title then they would be a ‘successor-in-interest.’ In other words, they are able to claim the title to the property via the signed marital settlement agreement. So they can do a mortgage refinance for divorce, but it would be a cash-out refinance because they aren’t on title. So they are limited to a mortgage amount of 85% of the value. They would have had to be on title for 12 months to do a rate and term refinance.”

Reasons to keep the house in your divorce

• You can afford it easily on your own. This means that after any refinance, buy-out, you can easily afford monthly mortgage payments, taxes, insurance and upkeep on your own income. If you require alimony or child support to stay in the address, that is too risky. You can create a single-mom budget easily on Tiller, an easy-to-use budgeting app.

• The home is the biggest financial asset for most couples. You walk away from that, you may lose a lot of assets even if he buys you out. Why? Historically, real estate has been a more stable investment when compared with stocks (recent years being an exception). Between 1978 and 2004, real estate appreciated an average of 8.6 percent per year. While stocks returned more than 13 percent during that time, they also saw more peaks and valleys. True, stocks grew more. However, that is just appreciation not including the wealth-building associated with paying off a mortgage, or the tax advantages.

• Because your household income is very likely to be lower post-divorce in the short-term, the tax write offs like mortgage interest and property taxes will be even more valuable post-divorce. Plus, if you were to sell your home, you can likely pocket most or all of the profits tax-free. Only a few investment vehicles provide such a tax perk.

• It may make sense to keep the house if it is easy to maintain on your own, without too much physical, emotional or financial cost. How to run a single-mom household like a boss

• You can make an argument for keeping in the event that it will help facilitate peaceful co-parenting. For example, if staying put means you can live closer to your now-ex, or closer to schools or each of your jobs, which makes everyone’s life more convenient, ‘happy co-parenting’ can be a reason to argue for staying put. Rules for co-parenting with even the most toxic ex

• The emotional reasons to keep the house include providing a measure of stability for you and your kids during a tumultuous time. This includes staying in the same schools and close to friends and neighbors who provided emotional and practical support. However, there are lots of very good reasons to let your marital home go whether to your ex, or to sell it on the market. One of the biggest mistakes I have seen in my work, as well as have heard from divorce attorneys, is women’s insistence on keeping the marital home in divorce to her detriment.

Reasons Not to keep the house in divorce

• You can’t afford it. Accepting that your income is now lower after divorce, and therefore you lifestyle must change, is often very difficult especially for the lesser earning spouse, who unfortunately is usually the woman. Going into debt, facing losing that very home you so desperately want to hang on to, and the emotional turmoil that financial stress induces is just bad news. Don’t.

• Selling helps you move on. Houses are emotional things. That house likely represented a family and life that you wanted very much to succeed but things turned out differently. Nothing like new real estate (and furnishings!) to re-launch your new life, and put your old one behind you. The same goes for when you sell an engagement ring or some other item that you shared.

• A new home is empowering! Whether you are purchasing a new house or renting a place on your own, moms tell me that doing this solo is one of the most empowering things they’ve ever done.

• It (might) teach your kids financial responsibility financial. Because your home is likely your biggest financial asset, you should treat it with as little emotion as possible. Compromising your finances, emotional well-being and good sense for the sake of keeping a house you really like is not a good financial example for your kids.

• Selling (might) teach your children emotional resistance. Sometimes life sucks giant, hairy donkey balls. It just does. Divorce is usually like that. But showing a measure of grace, moving on, and making wise decisions for your whole family in the face of rotten times is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids.

A cash-out refinance means that you apply for and receive a new mortgage for more than you owe. Typically, you can cash-out up to 85 percent of your home’s value.

Pros of a cash-out refinance during a divorce

• Easy way to access cash during a time when you may not have a lot of it • Interest rates on mortgages tend to be lower than if you were to do a home equity line of credit, home equity loan, personal loan, or credit card advance. • Interest rates on your first mortgage are usually tax-deductible • You can keep your home and don’t have to move, which can be important at a time when everything in your and your kids’ lives is in flux. • The mortgage is now in your name only, removing your ex from the debt and deed — which can feel really powerful for you, and be an important step in separating from your marriage and starting your life anew. Cons of a cash-out refinance during divorce: • Compared with a home-equity line of credit or home equity loan, closing costs can be higher • Signing a new mortgage may extend the period for which you pay for the home — even if monthly payments are the same or lower (this happened to me). • Signing a new mortgage may increase the overall sum you will pay for the property if interest rates have increased since you first financed it. • If the refinance means you end up with less than 20 percent equity in your property, you may need to add PMI, or private mortgage insurance, onto your loan.

Qualify for a cash-out refinance in your divorce

The qualifications for a cash-out refinance mortgage are the same as a new mortgage, in most cases. Because you are now divorced and seeking to own the home in your name only, the qualifications are for you as a single person (not as a couple). Since a cash-out refinance is essentially the same as taking out a new mortgage, requirements for qualifying are similar. Homeowners who own their homes and meet the following criteria may qualify: • Good or excellent credit (FICO score of 670+) • Significant home equity: at least 20 percent of the home’s value • Ability to repay the loan • A debt-to-income ratio including the new mortgage payment approved by the lender.

During divorce, finances are often very tight where there was once one household with two-income or one income plus a full-time person caring for the home and kids there are now two households, two sets of insurance premiums, and increased need for child care not to mention legal fees. Obtaining a new mortgage is a big commitment. Even though you may be emotionally tied to your current home, staying put is not always the best answer. Even if your mortgage payment stays the same after the refinance, you may not be able to afford it without stress and scramble every month. Also, while the thought of leaving your home may feel traumatic today, you may feel differently in months and years to come. In fact, you may want to break free from old memories and expectations that are attached to the home.

The decision whether to keep or sell the house should be made as a part of the overall global settlement. Consider the assets and debt you expect to obtain in the divorce settlement, your anticipated income and any anticipated support you may receive (alimony or child support). Also consider the tax effects, such as the mortgage interest deduction, which may decrease your tax burden and therefore increase the amount of your income available to you. If you cannot comfortably afford the housing expenses, it might be best to consider selling the house and replacing it with something more affordable. Take your time with this decision and utilize all of the resources available to you: your lawyer, accountant, financial planner, and a trusted friend or family member who is knowledgeable in these matters.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

If you have a question about divorce law or if you need to start or defend against a divorce case in Utah call Ascent Law LLC [phone]. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: [phone]

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

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Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/is-there-any-likelihood-of-a-wife-keeping-the-house-in-divorce/

[melissawalker01]

Is There Any Likelihood Of A Wife Keeping The House In Divorce?

The house is often considered the trickiest of all assets in a divorce. On Day One as you approach divorce, you may be thinking, “My house is one of my biggest assets.” or “Maybe I want to keep it.” “What you really need to understand is that there’s a lot of due diligence to be done before making a decision on what to do with the house.” The hardest part is that there are many emotional and financial events that happen during a divorce. You might also tend to think, “I know my home. It’s the only consistent element to this whole disruptive process of divorce.” That’s why you might be inclined to want to stay or keep the house.

Major reasons why it’s so difficult to know what to do with the house in divorce:

• You are Distracted: Financial dilemmas layered on top of divorce are incredibly overwhelming and stressful. You are likely trying to maintain your current lifestyle, taking kids to sports, working or looking for a job. There are many things happening at once.

• Your House is a Symbol of Stability (and maybe even status): The house itself might come to symbolize some stability and consistency, especially for kids. They don’t want to change schools. It’s a safe-haven during times of disruption.

• Hard to Know Whether You Can Afford to Keep the House: Change is constant. House conditions, the economy, and job security may change; all affecting whether or not the house upkeep, taxes, bills, and mortgage are affordable. Real estate values are fluid. Let’s say that you decide to keep the house, and the value is determined to be $100,000. Then, something happens to the economy, or an interstate goes up in the backyard, or something happens to that value down the road. Can you withstand that?

• Sentimental Value: Your home feels priceless. Dissolving the marriage is emotional. You have poured your heart and soul into creating a loving home environment for your family. You have memories that are priceless and that cloud your ability to make rational decisions. “Most people think of their homes in regards to the memories attached to it. You don’t have memories attached to your 401K.”

Often time’s one spouse will express an interest in staying in the home after the divorce. “Usually but not always it is for the main reason of keeping the children stable after the divorce for a period of time, and to get them through the transition.” When it comes to who gets the house in divorce, “A court can order in the interim who stays or who goes, but what if a couple is in the house, and you are not sure what to do with it, and the house then could become a financial burden to one or both of you. If neither spouse can afford to live there, or if it is deemed not prudent for them to be there, then it’s not sensible for the children to be in that home. And because they cannot be supported adequately in that home, then a court may order the selling of the house and division of the proceeds. “If a spouse is awarded the house in the settlement agreement and they are currently not on title then they would be a ‘successor-in-interest.’ In other words, they are able to claim the title to the property via the signed marital settlement agreement. So they can do a mortgage refinance for divorce, but it would be a cash-out refinance because they aren’t on title. So they are limited to a mortgage amount of 85% of the value. They would have had to be on title for 12 months to do a rate and term refinance.”

Reasons to keep the house in your divorce

• You can afford it easily on your own. This means that after any refinance, buy-out, you can easily afford monthly mortgage payments, taxes, insurance and upkeep on your own income. If you require alimony or child support to stay in the address, that is too risky. You can create a single-mom budget easily on Tiller, an easy-to-use budgeting app.

• The home is the biggest financial asset for most couples. You walk away from that, you may lose a lot of assets even if he buys you out. Why? Historically, real estate has been a more stable investment when compared with stocks (recent years being an exception). Between 1978 and 2004, real estate appreciated an average of 8.6 percent per year. While stocks returned more than 13 percent during that time, they also saw more peaks and valleys. True, stocks grew more. However, that is just appreciation not including the wealth-building associated with paying off a mortgage, or the tax advantages.

• Because your household income is very likely to be lower post-divorce in the short-term, the tax write offs like mortgage interest and property taxes will be even more valuable post-divorce. Plus, if you were to sell your home, you can likely pocket most or all of the profits tax-free. Only a few investment vehicles provide such a tax perk.

• It may make sense to keep the house if it is easy to maintain on your own, without too much physical, emotional or financial cost. How to run a single-mom household like a boss

• You can make an argument for keeping in the event that it will help facilitate peaceful co-parenting. For example, if staying put means you can live closer to your now-ex, or closer to schools or each of your jobs, which makes everyone’s life more convenient, ‘happy co-parenting’ can be a reason to argue for staying put. Rules for co-parenting with even the most toxic ex

• The emotional reasons to keep the house include providing a measure of stability for you and your kids during a tumultuous time. This includes staying in the same schools and close to friends and neighbors who provided emotional and practical support. However, there are lots of very good reasons to let your marital home go whether to your ex, or to sell it on the market. One of the biggest mistakes I have seen in my work, as well as have heard from divorce attorneys, is women’s insistence on keeping the marital home in divorce to her detriment.

Reasons Not to keep the house in divorce

• You can’t afford it. Accepting that your income is now lower after divorce, and therefore you lifestyle must change, is often very difficult especially for the lesser earning spouse, who unfortunately is usually the woman. Going into debt, facing losing that very home you so desperately want to hang on to, and the emotional turmoil that financial stress induces is just bad news. Don’t.

• Selling helps you move on. Houses are emotional things. That house likely represented a family and life that you wanted very much to succeed but things turned out differently. Nothing like new real estate (and furnishings!) to re-launch your new life, and put your old one behind you. The same goes for when you sell an engagement ring or some other item that you shared.

• A new home is empowering! Whether you are purchasing a new house or renting a place on your own, moms tell me that doing this solo is one of the most empowering things they’ve ever done.

• It (might) teach your kids financial responsibility financial. Because your home is likely your biggest financial asset, you should treat it with as little emotion as possible. Compromising your finances, emotional well-being and good sense for the sake of keeping a house you really like is not a good financial example for your kids.

• Selling (might) teach your children emotional resistance. Sometimes life sucks giant, hairy donkey balls. It just does. Divorce is usually like that. But showing a measure of grace, moving on, and making wise decisions for your whole family in the face of rotten times is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids.

A cash-out refinance means that you apply for and receive a new mortgage for more than you owe. Typically, you can cash-out up to 85 percent of your home’s value.

Pros of a cash-out refinance during a divorce

• Easy way to access cash during a time when you may not have a lot of it • Interest rates on mortgages tend to be lower than if you were to do a home equity line of credit, home equity loan, personal loan, or credit card advance. • Interest rates on your first mortgage are usually tax-deductible • You can keep your home and don’t have to move, which can be important at a time when everything in your and your kids’ lives is in flux. • The mortgage is now in your name only, removing your ex from the debt and deed — which can feel really powerful for you, and be an important step in separating from your marriage and starting your life anew. Cons of a cash-out refinance during divorce: • Compared with a home-equity line of credit or home equity loan, closing costs can be higher • Signing a new mortgage may extend the period for which you pay for the home — even if monthly payments are the same or lower (this happened to me). • Signing a new mortgage may increase the overall sum you will pay for the property if interest rates have increased since you first financed it. • If the refinance means you end up with less than 20 percent equity in your property, you may need to add PMI, or private mortgage insurance, onto your loan.

Qualify for a cash-out refinance in your divorce

The qualifications for a cash-out refinance mortgage are the same as a new mortgage, in most cases. Because you are now divorced and seeking to own the home in your name only, the qualifications are for you as a single person (not as a couple). Since a cash-out refinance is essentially the same as taking out a new mortgage, requirements for qualifying are similar. Homeowners who own their homes and meet the following criteria may qualify: • Good or excellent credit (FICO score of 670+) • Significant home equity: at least 20 percent of the home’s value • Ability to repay the loan • A debt-to-income ratio including the new mortgage payment approved by the lender.

During divorce, finances are often very tight where there was once one household with two-income or one income plus a full-time person caring for the home and kids there are now two households, two sets of insurance premiums, and increased need for child care not to mention legal fees. Obtaining a new mortgage is a big commitment. Even though you may be emotionally tied to your current home, staying put is not always the best answer. Even if your mortgage payment stays the same after the refinance, you may not be able to afford it without stress and scramble every month. Also, while the thought of leaving your home may feel traumatic today, you may feel differently in months and years to come. In fact, you may want to break free from old memories and expectations that are attached to the home.

The decision whether to keep or sell the house should be made as a part of the overall global settlement. Consider the assets and debt you expect to obtain in the divorce settlement, your anticipated income and any anticipated support you may receive (alimony or child support). Also consider the tax effects, such as the mortgage interest deduction, which may decrease your tax burden and therefore increase the amount of your income available to you. If you cannot comfortably afford the housing expenses, it might be best to consider selling the house and replacing it with something more affordable. Take your time with this decision and utilize all of the resources available to you: your lawyer, accountant, financial planner, and a trusted friend or family member who is knowledgeable in these matters.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

If you have a question about divorce law or if you need to start or defend against a divorce case in Utah call Ascent Law LLC [phone]. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: [phone]

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

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from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/is-there-any-likelihood-of-a-wife-keeping-the-house-in-divorce/ from Divorce Lawyer Nelson Farms Utah https://divorcelawyernelsonfarmsutah.tumblr.com/post/617905701882331136

[mayarosa47]

Is There Any Likelihood Of A Wife Keeping The House In Divorce?

The house is often considered the trickiest of all assets in a divorce. On Day One as you approach divorce, you may be thinking, “My house is one of my biggest assets.” or “Maybe I want to keep it.” “What you really need to understand is that there’s a lot of due diligence to be done before making a decision on what to do with the house.” The hardest part is that there are many emotional and financial events that happen during a divorce. You might also tend to think, “I know my home. It’s the only consistent element to this whole disruptive process of divorce.” That’s why you might be inclined to want to stay or keep the house.

Major reasons why it’s so difficult to know what to do with the house in divorce:

• You are Distracted: Financial dilemmas layered on top of divorce are incredibly overwhelming and stressful. You are likely trying to maintain your current lifestyle, taking kids to sports, working or looking for a job. There are many things happening at once.

• Your House is a Symbol of Stability (and maybe even status): The house itself might come to symbolize some stability and consistency, especially for kids. They don’t want to change schools. It’s a safe-haven during times of disruption.

• Hard to Know Whether You Can Afford to Keep the House: Change is constant. House conditions, the economy, and job security may change; all affecting whether or not the house upkeep, taxes, bills, and mortgage are affordable. Real estate values are fluid. Let’s say that you decide to keep the house, and the value is determined to be $100,000. Then, something happens to the economy, or an interstate goes up in the backyard, or something happens to that value down the road. Can you withstand that?

• Sentimental Value: Your home feels priceless. Dissolving the marriage is emotional. You have poured your heart and soul into creating a loving home environment for your family. You have memories that are priceless and that cloud your ability to make rational decisions. “Most people think of their homes in regards to the memories attached to it. You don’t have memories attached to your 401K.”

Often time’s one spouse will express an interest in staying in the home after the divorce. “Usually but not always it is for the main reason of keeping the children stable after the divorce for a period of time, and to get them through the transition.” When it comes to who gets the house in divorce, “A court can order in the interim who stays or who goes, but what if a couple is in the house, and you are not sure what to do with it, and the house then could become a financial burden to one or both of you. If neither spouse can afford to live there, or if it is deemed not prudent for them to be there, then it’s not sensible for the children to be in that home. And because they cannot be supported adequately in that home, then a court may order the selling of the house and division of the proceeds. “If a spouse is awarded the house in the settlement agreement and they are currently not on title then they would be a ‘successor-in-interest.’ In other words, they are able to claim the title to the property via the signed marital settlement agreement. So they can do a mortgage refinance for divorce, but it would be a cash-out refinance because they aren’t on title. So they are limited to a mortgage amount of 85% of the value. They would have had to be on title for 12 months to do a rate and term refinance.”

Reasons to keep the house in your divorce

• You can afford it easily on your own. This means that after any refinance, buy-out, you can easily afford monthly mortgage payments, taxes, insurance and upkeep on your own income. If you require alimony or child support to stay in the address, that is too risky. You can create a single-mom budget easily on Tiller, an easy-to-use budgeting app.

• The home is the biggest financial asset for most couples. You walk away from that, you may lose a lot of assets even if he buys you out. Why? Historically, real estate has been a more stable investment when compared with stocks (recent years being an exception). Between 1978 and 2004, real estate appreciated an average of 8.6 percent per year. While stocks returned more than 13 percent during that time, they also saw more peaks and valleys. True, stocks grew more. However, that is just appreciation not including the wealth-building associated with paying off a mortgage, or the tax advantages.

• Because your household income is very likely to be lower post-divorce in the short-term, the tax write offs like mortgage interest and property taxes will be even more valuable post-divorce. Plus, if you were to sell your home, you can likely pocket most or all of the profits tax-free. Only a few investment vehicles provide such a tax perk.

• It may make sense to keep the house if it is easy to maintain on your own, without too much physical, emotional or financial cost. How to run a single-mom household like a boss

• You can make an argument for keeping in the event that it will help facilitate peaceful co-parenting. For example, if staying put means you can live closer to your now-ex, or closer to schools or each of your jobs, which makes everyone’s life more convenient, ‘happy co-parenting’ can be a reason to argue for staying put. Rules for co-parenting with even the most toxic ex

• The emotional reasons to keep the house include providing a measure of stability for you and your kids during a tumultuous time. This includes staying in the same schools and close to friends and neighbors who provided emotional and practical support. However, there are lots of very good reasons to let your marital home go whether to your ex, or to sell it on the market. One of the biggest mistakes I have seen in my work, as well as have heard from divorce attorneys, is women’s insistence on keeping the marital home in divorce to her detriment.

Reasons Not to keep the house in divorce

• You can’t afford it. Accepting that your income is now lower after divorce, and therefore you lifestyle must change, is often very difficult especially for the lesser earning spouse, who unfortunately is usually the woman. Going into debt, facing losing that very home you so desperately want to hang on to, and the emotional turmoil that financial stress induces is just bad news. Don’t.

• Selling helps you move on. Houses are emotional things. That house likely represented a family and life that you wanted very much to succeed but things turned out differently. Nothing like new real estate (and furnishings!) to re-launch your new life, and put your old one behind you. The same goes for when you sell an engagement ring or some other item that you shared.

• A new home is empowering! Whether you are purchasing a new house or renting a place on your own, moms tell me that doing this solo is one of the most empowering things they’ve ever done.

• It (might) teach your kids financial responsibility financial. Because your home is likely your biggest financial asset, you should treat it with as little emotion as possible. Compromising your finances, emotional well-being and good sense for the sake of keeping a house you really like is not a good financial example for your kids.

• Selling (might) teach your children emotional resistance. Sometimes life sucks giant, hairy donkey balls. It just does. Divorce is usually like that. But showing a measure of grace, moving on, and making wise decisions for your whole family in the face of rotten times is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids.

A cash-out refinance means that you apply for and receive a new mortgage for more than you owe. Typically, you can cash-out up to 85 percent of your home’s value.

Pros of a cash-out refinance during a divorce

• Easy way to access cash during a time when you may not have a lot of it • Interest rates on mortgages tend to be lower than if you were to do a home equity line of credit, home equity loan, personal loan, or credit card advance. • Interest rates on your first mortgage are usually tax-deductible • You can keep your home and don’t have to move, which can be important at a time when everything in your and your kids’ lives is in flux. • The mortgage is now in your name only, removing your ex from the debt and deed — which can feel really powerful for you, and be an important step in separating from your marriage and starting your life anew. Cons of a cash-out refinance during divorce: • Compared with a home-equity line of credit or home equity loan, closing costs can be higher • Signing a new mortgage may extend the period for which you pay for the home — even if monthly payments are the same or lower (this happened to me). • Signing a new mortgage may increase the overall sum you will pay for the property if interest rates have increased since you first financed it. • If the refinance means you end up with less than 20 percent equity in your property, you may need to add PMI, or private mortgage insurance, onto your loan.

Qualify for a cash-out refinance in your divorce

The qualifications for a cash-out refinance mortgage are the same as a new mortgage, in most cases. Because you are now divorced and seeking to own the home in your name only, the qualifications are for you as a single person (not as a couple). Since a cash-out refinance is essentially the same as taking out a new mortgage, requirements for qualifying are similar. Homeowners who own their homes and meet the following criteria may qualify: • Good or excellent credit (FICO score of 670+) • Significant home equity: at least 20 percent of the home’s value • Ability to repay the loan • A debt-to-income ratio including the new mortgage payment approved by the lender.

During divorce, finances are often very tight where there was once one household with two-income or one income plus a full-time person caring for the home and kids there are now two households, two sets of insurance premiums, and increased need for child care not to mention legal fees. Obtaining a new mortgage is a big commitment. Even though you may be emotionally tied to your current home, staying put is not always the best answer. Even if your mortgage payment stays the same after the refinance, you may not be able to afford it without stress and scramble every month. Also, while the thought of leaving your home may feel traumatic today, you may feel differently in months and years to come. In fact, you may want to break free from old memories and expectations that are attached to the home.

The decision whether to keep or sell the house should be made as a part of the overall global settlement. Consider the assets and debt you expect to obtain in the divorce settlement, your anticipated income and any anticipated support you may receive (alimony or child support). Also consider the tax effects, such as the mortgage interest deduction, which may decrease your tax burden and therefore increase the amount of your income available to you. If you cannot comfortably afford the housing expenses, it might be best to consider selling the house and replacing it with something more affordable. Take your time with this decision and utilize all of the resources available to you: your lawyer, accountant, financial planner, and a trusted friend or family member who is knowledgeable in these matters.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

If you have a question about divorce law or if you need to start or defend against a divorce case in Utah call Ascent Law LLC [phone]. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: [phone]

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

ATF Audits Of Firearms Dealers

Duty To Disclose In Foreclosures

What A Car Accident Lawyer Says

Child Support For The Unwed

Salt Lake City Contract Attorney

ATV Accident Lawyer Grantsville Utah

from https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/is-there-any-likelihood-of-a-wife-keeping-the-house-in-divorce/

from Criminal Defense Lawyer West Jordan Utah - Blog http://criminaldefenselawyerwestjordanutah.weebly.com/blog/is-there-any-likelihood-of-a-wife-keeping-the-house-in-divorce

[aretia]

Is There Any Likelihood Of A Wife Keeping The House In Divorce?

The house is often considered the trickiest of all assets in a divorce. On Day One as you approach divorce, you may be thinking, “My house is one of my biggest assets.” or “Maybe I want to keep it.” “What you really need to understand is that there’s a lot of due diligence to be done before making a decision on what to do with the house.” The hardest part is that there are many emotional and financial events that happen during a divorce. You might also tend to think, “I know my home. It’s the only consistent element to this whole disruptive process of divorce.” That’s why you might be inclined to want to stay or keep the house.

Major reasons why it’s so difficult to know what to do with the house in divorce:

• You are Distracted: Financial dilemmas layered on top of divorce are incredibly overwhelming and stressful. You are likely trying to maintain your current lifestyle, taking kids to sports, working or looking for a job. There are many things happening at once.

• Your House is a Symbol of Stability (and maybe even status): The house itself might come to symbolize some stability and consistency, especially for kids. They don’t want to change schools. It’s a safe-haven during times of disruption.

• Hard to Know Whether You Can Afford to Keep the House: Change is constant. House conditions, the economy, and job security may change; all affecting whether or not the house upkeep, taxes, bills, and mortgage are affordable. Real estate values are fluid. Let’s say that you decide to keep the house, and the value is determined to be $100,000. Then, something happens to the economy, or an interstate goes up in the backyard, or something happens to that value down the road. Can you withstand that?

• Sentimental Value: Your home feels priceless. Dissolving the marriage is emotional. You have poured your heart and soul into creating a loving home environment for your family. You have memories that are priceless and that cloud your ability to make rational decisions. “Most people think of their homes in regards to the memories attached to it. You don’t have memories attached to your 401K.”

Often time’s one spouse will express an interest in staying in the home after the divorce. “Usually but not always it is for the main reason of keeping the children stable after the divorce for a period of time, and to get them through the transition.” When it comes to who gets the house in divorce, “A court can order in the interim who stays or who goes, but what if a couple is in the house, and you are not sure what to do with it, and the house then could become a financial burden to one or both of you. If neither spouse can afford to live there, or if it is deemed not prudent for them to be there, then it’s not sensible for the children to be in that home. And because they cannot be supported adequately in that home, then a court may order the selling of the house and division of the proceeds. “If a spouse is awarded the house in the settlement agreement and they are currently not on title then they would be a ‘successor-in-interest.’ In other words, they are able to claim the title to the property via the signed marital settlement agreement. So they can do a mortgage refinance for divorce, but it would be a cash-out refinance because they aren’t on title. So they are limited to a mortgage amount of 85% of the value. They would have had to be on title for 12 months to do a rate and term refinance.”

Reasons to keep the house in your divorce

• You can afford it easily on your own. This means that after any refinance, buy-out, you can easily afford monthly mortgage payments, taxes, insurance and upkeep on your own income. If you require alimony or child support to stay in the address, that is too risky. You can create a single-mom budget easily on Tiller, an easy-to-use budgeting app.

• The home is the biggest financial asset for most couples. You walk away from that, you may lose a lot of assets even if he buys you out. Why? Historically, real estate has been a more stable investment when compared with stocks (recent years being an exception). Between 1978 and 2004, real estate appreciated an average of 8.6 percent per year. While stocks returned more than 13 percent during that time, they also saw more peaks and valleys. True, stocks grew more. However, that is just appreciation not including the wealth-building associated with paying off a mortgage, or the tax advantages.

• Because your household income is very likely to be lower post-divorce in the short-term, the tax write offs like mortgage interest and property taxes will be even more valuable post-divorce. Plus, if you were to sell your home, you can likely pocket most or all of the profits tax-free. Only a few investment vehicles provide such a tax perk.

• It may make sense to keep the house if it is easy to maintain on your own, without too much physical, emotional or financial cost. How to run a single-mom household like a boss

• You can make an argument for keeping in the event that it will help facilitate peaceful co-parenting. For example, if staying put means you can live closer to your now-ex, or closer to schools or each of your jobs, which makes everyone’s life more convenient, ‘happy co-parenting’ can be a reason to argue for staying put. Rules for co-parenting with even the most toxic ex

• The emotional reasons to keep the house include providing a measure of stability for you and your kids during a tumultuous time. This includes staying in the same schools and close to friends and neighbors who provided emotional and practical support. However, there are lots of very good reasons to let your marital home go whether to your ex, or to sell it on the market. One of the biggest mistakes I have seen in my work, as well as have heard from divorce attorneys, is women’s insistence on keeping the marital home in divorce to her detriment.

Reasons Not to keep the house in divorce

• You can’t afford it. Accepting that your income is now lower after divorce, and therefore you lifestyle must change, is often very difficult especially for the lesser earning spouse, who unfortunately is usually the woman. Going into debt, facing losing that very home you so desperately want to hang on to, and the emotional turmoil that financial stress induces is just bad news. Don’t.

• Selling helps you move on. Houses are emotional things. That house likely represented a family and life that you wanted very much to succeed but things turned out differently. Nothing like new real estate (and furnishings!) to re-launch your new life, and put your old one behind you. The same goes for when you sell an engagement ring or some other item that you shared.

• A new home is empowering! Whether you are purchasing a new house or renting a place on your own, moms tell me that doing this solo is one of the most empowering things they’ve ever done.

• It (might) teach your kids financial responsibility financial. Because your home is likely your biggest financial asset, you should treat it with as little emotion as possible. Compromising your finances, emotional well-being and good sense for the sake of keeping a house you really like is not a good financial example for your kids.

• Selling (might) teach your children emotional resistance. Sometimes life sucks giant, hairy donkey balls. It just does. Divorce is usually like that. But showing a measure of grace, moving on, and making wise decisions for your whole family in the face of rotten times is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids.

A cash-out refinance means that you apply for and receive a new mortgage for more than you owe. Typically, you can cash-out up to 85 percent of your home’s value.

Pros of a cash-out refinance during a divorce

• Easy way to access cash during a time when you may not have a lot of it • Interest rates on mortgages tend to be lower than if you were to do a home equity line of credit, home equity loan, personal loan, or credit card advance. • Interest rates on your first mortgage are usually tax-deductible • You can keep your home and don’t have to move, which can be important at a time when everything in your and your kids’ lives is in flux. • The mortgage is now in your name only, removing your ex from the debt and deed — which can feel really powerful for you, and be an important step in separating from your marriage and starting your life anew. Cons of a cash-out refinance during divorce: • Compared with a home-equity line of credit or home equity loan, closing costs can be higher • Signing a new mortgage may extend the period for which you pay for the home — even if monthly payments are the same or lower (this happened to me). • Signing a new mortgage may increase the overall sum you will pay for the property if interest rates have increased since you first financed it. • If the refinance means you end up with less than 20 percent equity in your property, you may need to add PMI, or private mortgage insurance, onto your loan.

Qualify for a cash-out refinance in your divorce

The qualifications for a cash-out refinance mortgage are the same as a new mortgage, in most cases. Because you are now divorced and seeking to own the home in your name only, the qualifications are for you as a single person (not as a couple). Since a cash-out refinance is essentially the same as taking out a new mortgage, requirements for qualifying are similar. Homeowners who own their homes and meet the following criteria may qualify: • Good or excellent credit (FICO score of 670+) • Significant home equity: at least 20 percent of the home’s value • Ability to repay the loan • A debt-to-income ratio including the new mortgage payment approved by the lender.

During divorce, finances are often very tight where there was once one household with two-income or one income plus a full-time person caring for the home and kids there are now two households, two sets of insurance premiums, and increased need for child care not to mention legal fees. Obtaining a new mortgage is a big commitment. Even though you may be emotionally tied to your current home, staying put is not always the best answer. Even if your mortgage payment stays the same after the refinance, you may not be able to afford it without stress and scramble every month. Also, while the thought of leaving your home may feel traumatic today, you may feel differently in months and years to come. In fact, you may want to break free from old memories and expectations that are attached to the home.

The decision whether to keep or sell the house should be made as a part of the overall global settlement. Consider the assets and debt you expect to obtain in the divorce settlement, your anticipated income and any anticipated support you may receive (alimony or child support). Also consider the tax effects, such as the mortgage interest deduction, which may decrease your tax burden and therefore increase the amount of your income available to you. If you cannot comfortably afford the housing expenses, it might be best to consider selling the house and replacing it with something more affordable. Take your time with this decision and utilize all of the resources available to you: your lawyer, accountant, financial planner, and a trusted friend or family member who is knowledgeable in these matters.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

If you have a question about divorce law or if you need to start or defend against a divorce case in Utah call Ascent Law LLC [phone]. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: [phone]

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

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Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/is-there-any-likelihood-of-a-wife-keeping-the-house-in-divorce/

[coming-from-hell]

Is There Any Likelihood Of A Wife Keeping The House In Divorce?

The house is often considered the trickiest of all assets in a divorce. On Day One as you approach divorce, you may be thinking, “My house is one of my biggest assets.” or “Maybe I want to keep it.” “What you really need to understand is that there’s a lot of due diligence to be done before making a decision on what to do with the house.” The hardest part is that there are many emotional and financial events that happen during a divorce. You might also tend to think, “I know my home. It’s the only consistent element to this whole disruptive process of divorce.” That’s why you might be inclined to want to stay or keep the house.

Major reasons why it’s so difficult to know what to do with the house in divorce:

• You are Distracted: Financial dilemmas layered on top of divorce are incredibly overwhelming and stressful. You are likely trying to maintain your current lifestyle, taking kids to sports, working or looking for a job. There are many things happening at once.

• Your House is a Symbol of Stability (and maybe even status): The house itself might come to symbolize some stability and consistency, especially for kids. They don’t want to change schools. It’s a safe-haven during times of disruption.

• Hard to Know Whether You Can Afford to Keep the House: Change is constant. House conditions, the economy, and job security may change; all affecting whether or not the house upkeep, taxes, bills, and mortgage are affordable. Real estate values are fluid. Let’s say that you decide to keep the house, and the value is determined to be $100,000. Then, something happens to the economy, or an interstate goes up in the backyard, or something happens to that value down the road. Can you withstand that?

• Sentimental Value: Your home feels priceless. Dissolving the marriage is emotional. You have poured your heart and soul into creating a loving home environment for your family. You have memories that are priceless and that cloud your ability to make rational decisions. “Most people think of their homes in regards to the memories attached to it. You don’t have memories attached to your 401K.”

Often time’s one spouse will express an interest in staying in the home after the divorce. “Usually but not always it is for the main reason of keeping the children stable after the divorce for a period of time, and to get them through the transition.” When it comes to who gets the house in divorce, “A court can order in the interim who stays or who goes, but what if a couple is in the house, and you are not sure what to do with it, and the house then could become a financial burden to one or both of you. If neither spouse can afford to live there, or if it is deemed not prudent for them to be there, then it’s not sensible for the children to be in that home. And because they cannot be supported adequately in that home, then a court may order the selling of the house and division of the proceeds. “If a spouse is awarded the house in the settlement agreement and they are currently not on title then they would be a ‘successor-in-interest.’ In other words, they are able to claim the title to the property via the signed marital settlement agreement. So they can do a mortgage refinance for divorce, but it would be a cash-out refinance because they aren’t on title. So they are limited to a mortgage amount of 85% of the value. They would have had to be on title for 12 months to do a rate and term refinance.”

Reasons to keep the house in your divorce

• You can afford it easily on your own. This means that after any refinance, buy-out, you can easily afford monthly mortgage payments, taxes, insurance and upkeep on your own income. If you require alimony or child support to stay in the address, that is too risky. You can create a single-mom budget easily on Tiller, an easy-to-use budgeting app.

• The home is the biggest financial asset for most couples. You walk away from that, you may lose a lot of assets even if he buys you out. Why? Historically, real estate has been a more stable investment when compared with stocks (recent years being an exception). Between 1978 and 2004, real estate appreciated an average of 8.6 percent per year. While stocks returned more than 13 percent during that time, they also saw more peaks and valleys. True, stocks grew more. However, that is just appreciation not including the wealth-building associated with paying off a mortgage, or the tax advantages.

• Because your household income is very likely to be lower post-divorce in the short-term, the tax write offs like mortgage interest and property taxes will be even more valuable post-divorce. Plus, if you were to sell your home, you can likely pocket most or all of the profits tax-free. Only a few investment vehicles provide such a tax perk.

• It may make sense to keep the house if it is easy to maintain on your own, without too much physical, emotional or financial cost. How to run a single-mom household like a boss

• You can make an argument for keeping in the event that it will help facilitate peaceful co-parenting. For example, if staying put means you can live closer to your now-ex, or closer to schools or each of your jobs, which makes everyone’s life more convenient, ‘happy co-parenting’ can be a reason to argue for staying put. Rules for co-parenting with even the most toxic ex

• The emotional reasons to keep the house include providing a measure of stability for you and your kids during a tumultuous time. This includes staying in the same schools and close to friends and neighbors who provided emotional and practical support. However, there are lots of very good reasons to let your marital home go whether to your ex, or to sell it on the market. One of the biggest mistakes I have seen in my work, as well as have heard from divorce attorneys, is women’s insistence on keeping the marital home in divorce to her detriment.

Reasons Not to keep the house in divorce

• You can’t afford it. Accepting that your income is now lower after divorce, and therefore you lifestyle must change, is often very difficult especially for the lesser earning spouse, who unfortunately is usually the woman. Going into debt, facing losing that very home you so desperately want to hang on to, and the emotional turmoil that financial stress induces is just bad news. Don’t.

• Selling helps you move on. Houses are emotional things. That house likely represented a family and life that you wanted very much to succeed but things turned out differently. Nothing like new real estate (and furnishings!) to re-launch your new life, and put your old one behind you. The same goes for when you sell an engagement ring or some other item that you shared.

• A new home is empowering! Whether you are purchasing a new house or renting a place on your own, moms tell me that doing this solo is one of the most empowering things they’ve ever done.

• It (might) teach your kids financial responsibility financial. Because your home is likely your biggest financial asset, you should treat it with as little emotion as possible. Compromising your finances, emotional well-being and good sense for the sake of keeping a house you really like is not a good financial example for your kids.

• Selling (might) teach your children emotional resistance. Sometimes life sucks giant, hairy donkey balls. It just does. Divorce is usually like that. But showing a measure of grace, moving on, and making wise decisions for your whole family in the face of rotten times is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids.

A cash-out refinance means that you apply for and receive a new mortgage for more than you owe. Typically, you can cash-out up to 85 percent of your home’s value.

Pros of a cash-out refinance during a divorce

• Easy way to access cash during a time when you may not have a lot of it • Interest rates on mortgages tend to be lower than if you were to do a home equity line of credit, home equity loan, personal loan, or credit card advance. • Interest rates on your first mortgage are usually tax-deductible • You can keep your home and don’t have to move, which can be important at a time when everything in your and your kids’ lives is in flux. • The mortgage is now in your name only, removing your ex from the debt and deed — which can feel really powerful for you, and be an important step in separating from your marriage and starting your life anew. Cons of a cash-out refinance during divorce: • Compared with a home-equity line of credit or home equity loan, closing costs can be higher • Signing a new mortgage may extend the period for which you pay for the home — even if monthly payments are the same or lower (this happened to me). • Signing a new mortgage may increase the overall sum you will pay for the property if interest rates have increased since you first financed it. • If the refinance means you end up with less than 20 percent equity in your property, you may need to add PMI, or private mortgage insurance, onto your loan.

Qualify for a cash-out refinance in your divorce

The qualifications for a cash-out refinance mortgage are the same as a new mortgage, in most cases. Because you are now divorced and seeking to own the home in your name only, the qualifications are for you as a single person (not as a couple). Since a cash-out refinance is essentially the same as taking out a new mortgage, requirements for qualifying are similar. Homeowners who own their homes and meet the following criteria may qualify: • Good or excellent credit (FICO score of 670+) • Significant home equity: at least 20 percent of the home’s value • Ability to repay the loan • A debt-to-income ratio including the new mortgage payment approved by the lender.

During divorce, finances are often very tight where there was once one household with two-income or one income plus a full-time person caring for the home and kids there are now two households, two sets of insurance premiums, and increased need for child care not to mention legal fees. Obtaining a new mortgage is a big commitment. Even though you may be emotionally tied to your current home, staying put is not always the best answer. Even if your mortgage payment stays the same after the refinance, you may not be able to afford it without stress and scramble every month. Also, while the thought of leaving your home may feel traumatic today, you may feel differently in months and years to come. In fact, you may want to break free from old memories and expectations that are attached to the home.

The decision whether to keep or sell the house should be made as a part of the overall global settlement. Consider the assets and debt you expect to obtain in the divorce settlement, your anticipated income and any anticipated support you may receive (alimony or child support). Also consider the tax effects, such as the mortgage interest deduction, which may decrease your tax burden and therefore increase the amount of your income available to you. If you cannot comfortably afford the housing expenses, it might be best to consider selling the house and replacing it with something more affordable. Take your time with this decision and utilize all of the resources available to you: your lawyer, accountant, financial planner, and a trusted friend or family member who is knowledgeable in these matters.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

If you have a question about divorce law or if you need to start or defend against a divorce case in Utah call Ascent Law LLC [phone]. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: [phone]

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

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What A Car Accident Lawyer Says

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Salt Lake City Contract Attorney

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Source: https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/is-there-any-likelihood-of-a-wife-keeping-the-house-in-divorce/

[michaeljames1221]

Is There Any Likelihood Of A Wife Keeping The House In Divorce?

The house is often considered the trickiest of all assets in a divorce. On Day One as you approach divorce, you may be thinking, “My house is one of my biggest assets.” or “Maybe I want to keep it.” “What you really need to understand is that there’s a lot of due diligence to be done before making a decision on what to do with the house.” The hardest part is that there are many emotional and financial events that happen during a divorce. You might also tend to think, “I know my home. It’s the only consistent element to this whole disruptive process of divorce.” That’s why you might be inclined to want to stay or keep the house.

Major reasons why it’s so difficult to know what to do with the house in divorce:

• You are Distracted: Financial dilemmas layered on top of divorce are incredibly overwhelming and stressful. You are likely trying to maintain your current lifestyle, taking kids to sports, working or looking for a job. There are many things happening at once.

• Your House is a Symbol of Stability (and maybe even status): The house itself might come to symbolize some stability and consistency, especially for kids. They don’t want to change schools. It’s a safe-haven during times of disruption.

• Hard to Know Whether You Can Afford to Keep the House: Change is constant. House conditions, the economy, and job security may change; all affecting whether or not the house upkeep, taxes, bills, and mortgage are affordable. Real estate values are fluid. Let’s say that you decide to keep the house, and the value is determined to be $100,000. Then, something happens to the economy, or an interstate goes up in the backyard, or something happens to that value down the road. Can you withstand that?

• Sentimental Value: Your home feels priceless. Dissolving the marriage is emotional. You have poured your heart and soul into creating a loving home environment for your family. You have memories that are priceless and that cloud your ability to make rational decisions. “Most people think of their homes in regards to the memories attached to it. You don’t have memories attached to your 401K.”

Often time’s one spouse will express an interest in staying in the home after the divorce. “Usually but not always it is for the main reason of keeping the children stable after the divorce for a period of time, and to get them through the transition.” When it comes to who gets the house in divorce, “A court can order in the interim who stays or who goes, but what if a couple is in the house, and you are not sure what to do with it, and the house then could become a financial burden to one or both of you. If neither spouse can afford to live there, or if it is deemed not prudent for them to be there, then it’s not sensible for the children to be in that home. And because they cannot be supported adequately in that home, then a court may order the selling of the house and division of the proceeds. “If a spouse is awarded the house in the settlement agreement and they are currently not on title then they would be a ‘successor-in-interest.’ In other words, they are able to claim the title to the property via the signed marital settlement agreement. So they can do a mortgage refinance for divorce, but it would be a cash-out refinance because they aren’t on title. So they are limited to a mortgage amount of 85% of the value. They would have had to be on title for 12 months to do a rate and term refinance.”

Reasons to keep the house in your divorce

• You can afford it easily on your own. This means that after any refinance, buy-out, you can easily afford monthly mortgage payments, taxes, insurance and upkeep on your own income. If you require alimony or child support to stay in the address, that is too risky. You can create a single-mom budget easily on Tiller, an easy-to-use budgeting app.

• The home is the biggest financial asset for most couples. You walk away from that, you may lose a lot of assets even if he buys you out. Why? Historically, real estate has been a more stable investment when compared with stocks (recent years being an exception). Between 1978 and 2004, real estate appreciated an average of 8.6 percent per year. While stocks returned more than 13 percent during that time, they also saw more peaks and valleys. True, stocks grew more. However, that is just appreciation not including the wealth-building associated with paying off a mortgage, or the tax advantages.

• Because your household income is very likely to be lower post-divorce in the short-term, the tax write offs like mortgage interest and property taxes will be even more valuable post-divorce. Plus, if you were to sell your home, you can likely pocket most or all of the profits tax-free. Only a few investment vehicles provide such a tax perk.

• It may make sense to keep the house if it is easy to maintain on your own, without too much physical, emotional or financial cost. How to run a single-mom household like a boss

• You can make an argument for keeping in the event that it will help facilitate peaceful co-parenting. For example, if staying put means you can live closer to your now-ex, or closer to schools or each of your jobs, which makes everyone’s life more convenient, ‘happy co-parenting’ can be a reason to argue for staying put. Rules for co-parenting with even the most toxic ex

• The emotional reasons to keep the house include providing a measure of stability for you and your kids during a tumultuous time. This includes staying in the same schools and close to friends and neighbors who provided emotional and practical support. However, there are lots of very good reasons to let your marital home go whether to your ex, or to sell it on the market. One of the biggest mistakes I have seen in my work, as well as have heard from divorce attorneys, is women’s insistence on keeping the marital home in divorce to her detriment.

Reasons Not to keep the house in divorce

• You can’t afford it. Accepting that your income is now lower after divorce, and therefore you lifestyle must change, is often very difficult especially for the lesser earning spouse, who unfortunately is usually the woman. Going into debt, facing losing that very home you so desperately want to hang on to, and the emotional turmoil that financial stress induces is just bad news. Don’t.

• Selling helps you move on. Houses are emotional things. That house likely represented a family and life that you wanted very much to succeed but things turned out differently. Nothing like new real estate (and furnishings!) to re-launch your new life, and put your old one behind you. The same goes for when you sell an engagement ring or some other item that you shared.

• A new home is empowering! Whether you are purchasing a new house or renting a place on your own, moms tell me that doing this solo is one of the most empowering things they’ve ever done.

• It (might) teach your kids financial responsibility financial. Because your home is likely your biggest financial asset, you should treat it with as little emotion as possible. Compromising your finances, emotional well-being and good sense for the sake of keeping a house you really like is not a good financial example for your kids.

• Selling (might) teach your children emotional resistance. Sometimes life sucks giant, hairy donkey balls. It just does. Divorce is usually like that. But showing a measure of grace, moving on, and making wise decisions for your whole family in the face of rotten times is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids.

A cash-out refinance means that you apply for and receive a new mortgage for more than you owe. Typically, you can cash-out up to 85 percent of your home’s value.

Pros of a cash-out refinance during a divorce

• Easy way to access cash during a time when you may not have a lot of it • Interest rates on mortgages tend to be lower than if you were to do a home equity line of credit, home equity loan, personal loan, or credit card advance. • Interest rates on your first mortgage are usually tax-deductible • You can keep your home and don’t have to move, which can be important at a time when everything in your and your kids’ lives is in flux. • The mortgage is now in your name only, removing your ex from the debt and deed — which can feel really powerful for you, and be an important step in separating from your marriage and starting your life anew. Cons of a cash-out refinance during divorce: • Compared with a home-equity line of credit or home equity loan, closing costs can be higher • Signing a new mortgage may extend the period for which you pay for the home — even if monthly payments are the same or lower (this happened to me). • Signing a new mortgage may increase the overall sum you will pay for the property if interest rates have increased since you first financed it. • If the refinance means you end up with less than 20 percent equity in your property, you may need to add PMI, or private mortgage insurance, onto your loan.

Qualify for a cash-out refinance in your divorce

The qualifications for a cash-out refinance mortgage are the same as a new mortgage, in most cases. Because you are now divorced and seeking to own the home in your name only, the qualifications are for you as a single person (not as a couple). Since a cash-out refinance is essentially the same as taking out a new mortgage, requirements for qualifying are similar. Homeowners who own their homes and meet the following criteria may qualify: • Good or excellent credit (FICO score of 670+) • Significant home equity: at least 20 percent of the home’s value • Ability to repay the loan • A debt-to-income ratio including the new mortgage payment approved by the lender.

During divorce, finances are often very tight where there was once one household with two-income or one income plus a full-time person caring for the home and kids there are now two households, two sets of insurance premiums, and increased need for child care not to mention legal fees. Obtaining a new mortgage is a big commitment. Even though you may be emotionally tied to your current home, staying put is not always the best answer. Even if your mortgage payment stays the same after the refinance, you may not be able to afford it without stress and scramble every month. Also, while the thought of leaving your home may feel traumatic today, you may feel differently in months and years to come. In fact, you may want to break free from old memories and expectations that are attached to the home.

The decision whether to keep or sell the house should be made as a part of the overall global settlement. Consider the assets and debt you expect to obtain in the divorce settlement, your anticipated income and any anticipated support you may receive (alimony or child support). Also consider the tax effects, such as the mortgage interest deduction, which may decrease your tax burden and therefore increase the amount of your income available to you. If you cannot comfortably afford the housing expenses, it might be best to consider selling the house and replacing it with something more affordable. Take your time with this decision and utilize all of the resources available to you: your lawyer, accountant, financial planner, and a trusted friend or family member who is knowledgeable in these matters.

Divorce Lawyer Free Consultation

If you have a question about divorce law or if you need to start or defend against a divorce case in Utah call Ascent Law LLC [phone]. We want to help you.

Ascent Law LLC 8833 S. Redwood Road, Suite C West Jordan, Utah 84088 United States Telephone: [phone]

Ascent Law LLC

4.9 stars – based on 67 reviews

Recent Posts

ATF Audits Of Firearms Dealers

Duty To Disclose In Foreclosures

What A Car Accident Lawyer Says

Child Support For The Unwed

Salt Lake City Contract Attorney

ATV Accident Lawyer Grantsville Utah

from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/is-there-any-likelihood-of-a-wife-keeping-the-house-in-divorce/

from Criminal Defense Lawyer West Jordan Utah https://criminaldefenselawyerwestjordanutah.wordpress.com/2020/05/12/is-there-any-likelihood-of-a-wife-keeping-the-house-in-divorce/

[divorcelawyergunnisonutah]

Is There Any Likelihood Of A Wife Keeping The House In Divorce?

The house is often considered the trickiest of all assets in a divorce. On Day One as you approach divorce, you may be thinking, “My house is one of my biggest assets.” or “Maybe I want to keep it.” “What you really need to understand is that there’s a lot of due diligence to be done before making a decision on what to do with the house.” The hardest part is that there are many emotional and financial events that happen during a divorce. You might also tend to think, “I know my home. It’s the only consistent element to this whole disruptive process of divorce.” That’s why you might be inclined to want to stay or keep the house.

Major reasons why it’s so difficult to know what to do with the house in divorce:

• You are Distracted: Financial dilemmas layered on top of divorce are incredibly overwhelming and stressful. You are likely trying to maintain your current lifestyle, taking kids to sports, working or looking for a job. There are many things happening at once.

• Your House is a Symbol of Stability (and maybe even status): The house itself might come to symbolize some stability and consistency, especially for kids. They don’t want to change schools. It’s a safe-haven during times of disruption.

• Hard to Know Whether You Can Afford to Keep the House: Change is constant. House conditions, the economy, and job security may change; all affecting whether or not the house upkeep, taxes, bills, and mortgage are affordable. Real estate values are fluid. Let’s say that you decide to keep the house, and the value is determined to be $100,000. Then, something happens to the economy, or an interstate goes up in the backyard, or something happens to that value down the road. Can you withstand that?

• Sentimental Value: Your home feels priceless. Dissolving the marriage is emotional. You have poured your heart and soul into creating a loving home environment for your family. You have memories that are priceless and that cloud your ability to make rational decisions. “Most people think of their homes in regards to the memories attached to it. You don’t have memories attached to your 401K.”

Often time’s one spouse will express an interest in staying in the home after the divorce. “Usually but not always it is for the main reason of keeping the children stable after the divorce for a period of time, and to get them through the transition.” When it comes to who gets the house in divorce, “A court can order in the interim who stays or who goes, but what if a couple is in the house, and you are not sure what to do with it, and the house then could become a financial burden to one or both of you. If neither spouse can afford to live there, or if it is deemed not prudent for them to be there, then it’s not sensible for the children to be in that home. And because they cannot be supported adequately in that home, then a court may order the selling of the house and division of the proceeds. “If a spouse is awarded the house in the settlement agreement and they are currently not on title then they would be a ‘successor-in-interest.’ In other words, they are able to claim the title to the property via the signed marital settlement agreement. So they can do a mortgage refinance for divorce, but it would be a cash-out refinance because they aren’t on title. So they are limited to a mortgage amount of 85% of the value. They would have had to be on title for 12 months to do a rate and term refinance.”

Reasons to keep the house in your divorce

• You can afford it easily on your own. This means that after any refinance, buy-out, you can easily afford monthly mortgage payments, taxes, insurance and upkeep on your own income. If you require alimony or child support to stay in the address, that is too risky. You can create a single-mom budget easily on Tiller, an easy-to-use budgeting app.

• The home is the biggest financial asset for most couples. You walk away from that, you may lose a lot of assets even if he buys you out. Why? Historically, real estate has been a more stable investment when compared with stocks (recent years being an exception). Between 1978 and 2004, real estate appreciated an average of 8.6 percent per year. While stocks returned more than 13 percent during that time, they also saw more peaks and valleys. True, stocks grew more. However, that is just appreciation not including the wealth-building associated with paying off a mortgage, or the tax advantages.

• Because your household income is very likely to be lower post-divorce in the short-term, the tax write offs like mortgage interest and property taxes will be even more valuable post-divorce. Plus, if you were to sell your home, you can likely pocket most or all of the profits tax-free. Only a few investment vehicles provide such a tax perk.

• It may make sense to keep the house if it is easy to maintain on your own, without too much physical, emotional or financial cost. How to run a single-mom household like a boss

• You can make an argument for keeping in the event that it will help facilitate peaceful co-parenting. For example, if staying put means you can live closer to your now-ex, or closer to schools or each of your jobs, which makes everyone’s life more convenient, ‘happy co-parenting’ can be a reason to argue for staying put. Rules for co-parenting with even the most toxic ex

• The emotional reasons to keep the house include providing a measure of stability for you and your kids during a tumultuous time. This includes staying in the same schools and close to friends and neighbors who provided emotional and practical support. However, there are lots of very good reasons to let your marital home go whether to your ex, or to sell it on the market. One of the biggest mistakes I have seen in my work, as well as have heard from divorce attorneys, is women’s insistence on keeping the marital home in divorce to her detriment.

Reasons Not to keep the house in divorce

• You can’t afford it. Accepting that your income is now lower after divorce, and therefore you lifestyle must change, is often very difficult especially for the lesser earning spouse, who unfortunately is usually the woman. Going into debt, facing losing that very home you so desperately want to hang on to, and the emotional turmoil that financial stress induces is just bad news. Don’t.

• Selling helps you move on. Houses are emotional things. That house likely represented a family and life that you wanted very much to succeed but things turned out differently. Nothing like new real estate (and furnishings!) to re-launch your new life, and put your old one behind you. The same goes for when you sell an engagement ring or some other item that you shared.

• A new home is empowering! Whether you are purchasing a new house or renting a place on your own, moms tell me that doing this solo is one of the most empowering things they’ve ever done.

• It (might) teach your kids financial responsibility financial. Because your home is likely your biggest financial asset, you should treat it with as little emotion as possible. Compromising your finances, emotional well-being and good sense for the sake of keeping a house you really like is not a good financial example for your kids.

• Selling (might) teach your children emotional resistance. Sometimes life sucks giant, hairy donkey balls. It just does. Divorce is usually like that. But showing a measure of grace, moving on, and making wise decisions for your whole family in the face of rotten times is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids.

A cash-out refinance means that you apply for and receive a new mortgage for more than you owe. Typically, you can cash-out up to 85 percent of your home’s value.

Pros of a cash-out refinance during a divorce

• Easy way to access cash during a time when you may not have a lot of it • Interest rates on mortgages tend to be lower than if you were to do a home equity line of credit, home equity loan, personal loan, or credit card advance. • Interest rates on your first mortgage are usually tax-deductible • You can keep your home and don’t have to move, which can be important at a time when everything in your and your kids’ lives is in flux. • The mortgage is now in your name only, removing your ex from the debt and deed — which can feel really powerful for you, and be an important step in separating from your marriage and starting your life anew. Cons of a cash-out refinance during divorce: • Compared with a home-equity line of credit or home equity loan, closing costs can be higher • Signing a new mortgage may extend the period for which you pay for the home — even if monthly payments are the same or lower (this happened to me). • Signing a new mortgage may increase the overall sum you will pay for the property if interest rates have increased since you first financed it. • If the refinance means you end up with less than 20 percent equity in your property, you may need to add PMI, or private mortgage insurance, onto your loan.

Qualify for a cash-out refinance in your divorce

The qualifications for a cash-out refinance mortgage are the same as a new mortgage, in most cases. Because you are now divorced and seeking to own the home in your name only, the qualifications are for you as a single person (not as a couple). Since a cash-out refinance is essentially the same as taking out a new mortgage, requirements for qualifying are similar. Homeowners who own their homes and meet the following criteria may qualify: • Good or excellent credit (FICO score of 670+) • Significant home equity: at least 20 percent of the home’s value • Ability to repay the loan • A debt-to-income ratio including the new mortgage payment approved by the lender.

During divorce, finances are often very tight where there was once one household with two-income or one income plus a full-time person caring for the home and kids there are now two households, two sets of insurance premiums, and increased need for child care not to mention legal fees. Obtaining a new mortgage is a big commitment. Even though you may be emotionally tied to your current home, staying put is not always the best answer. Even if your mortgage payment stays the same after the refinance, you may not be able to afford it without stress and scramble every month. Also, while the thought of leaving your home may feel traumatic today, you may feel differently in months and years to come. In fact, you may want to break free from old memories and expectations that are attached to the home.

The decision whether to keep or sell the house should be made as a part of the overall global settlement. Consider the assets and debt you expect to obtain in the divorce settlement, your anticipated income and any anticipated support you may receive (alimony or child support). Also consider the tax effects, such as the mortgage interest deduction, which may decrease your tax burden and therefore increase the amount of your income available to you. If you cannot comfortably afford the housing expenses, it might be best to consider selling the house and replacing it with something more affordable. Take your time with this decision and utilize all of the resources available to you: your lawyer, accountant, financial planner, and a trusted friend or family member who is knowledgeable in these matters.

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from Michael Anderson https://www.ascentlawfirm.com/is-there-any-likelihood-of-a-wife-keeping-the-house-in-divorce/