#but of course it was lbr

[turtleblogatlast]

Imagine the boys getting cursed to bear witness to “some of the most negatively impactful things in their lives” and they’re terrified, thinking it’ll be stuff like the invasion or Shredder or something-

Only to be met with multiple scenarios of their family. Saying offhand, but hurtful things. Doing hurtful things. Lots of scenarios that were inconsequential to everyone but the one most affected.

And they’re all scrambling, desperate to make sure the others don’t look too deep into it haha it doesn’t really bother them- but they all know the truth. Because they’re all in the same position here. It wasn’t on purpose, and they all know it wasn’t on purpose, but it still hurts.

It’s almost a relief, that they’re going through it all together. That they can apologize for mistakes, and accept that they’ve held onto hurt too long when they could have dealt with it sooner.

And that’s how they break the curse, reversing it into something different, as they’re told that before it leaves them for good they’ll bear witness to the most positively impactful things in their lives. And now they think they’ll see some of their best victories, some of their grandest adventures-

The scenes they see then are of the same cloth as their negative ones. Simple scenes, ones that most wouldn’t remember. Times where someone managed to make someone else smile, times where they were just so content to exist by the other’s side, times where they were just happy being there with their brothers, their family.

It’s the little things that go the farthest, because that’s what you experience the most in life. And they’ll mess up again, of course. Things happen, and they’ll never really know how their actions and words will be taken. But through the good and the bad, they’re family.

Besides - turns out, there’s a lot more good.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #they’re the most impactful moments because they come from the ones they love the most <3 #‘sorry for running off when you infodump about things you care about’ #‘sorry for undermining your skills and treating you like a baby’ #‘sorry for insulting your intelligence and drive to be a hero’ #‘sorry for literally making you a shock collar in hindsight that was kinda messed up-‘ #kdkdkdkdk sorry I had to #but like also #‘I didn’t realize you liked me being there’ #‘I didn’t think you had that much fun with me’ #‘I didn’t know you trusted me so much’ #‘I didn’t see how much you smiled then’ #little things add up!!! good and bad both #they love each other so so so much of course they’re impacted by each other so much #adding the regular tmnt tag bc lbr this applies to ALL of them

[scoops-aboy86]

In which Eddie panics a bit, Wayne is a voice of reason, and Steve is really going through it but finds some relief in Eddie bringing him lunch.

Part 1, part 1.5, part 2, part 3, part 4 of the love spell no go au

Eddie does not, in fact, see Robin or Steve the next day. He holes up in his room for three days until Wayne drags him out by his ear, sits him down, and pries an explanation out of him because “do you know how many times that Harrington boy has called, knocked, and slid notes under the door trying to track you down? I’m surprised he hasn’t climbed in your damn window by now.”

He breaks and tells Wayne about the love spell and getting to know Steve. He walks his uncle through the entire strangled route of his logic and the thoughts he’s been stuck in his head with ever since the other day. 

And, okay, the whole prom scenario had been a completely theoretical product of his overactive and dramatic imagination, but something like that might have happened. Except if Eddie, instead of fucking up, had somehow cast it really, really strong… 

“That’s why he keeps calling, because of the spell,” Eddie concludes. “It makes sense, doesn’t it?” He desperately wants to hear that no, actually, he’s lost his marbles, no one can brute force a spell into being smart and biding it’s time like that. 

But Wayne sighs, somehow conveying both endless patience and weary amusement, and says, “Eddie, what have I always told you?”

“Uh… never tell anyone that magic is real?”

Wayne snorts. “That, sure, and that magic ain’t ever something outta nothing. Your daddy always thought he could make gold from thin air, never even tried spinning it outta straw, and look where it landed him.” Jail. Eddie winces. “The reason no one bothers with love spells much is they gotta have some potential to grab onto, so they fail more’n you’d think. Spell or not, Ed, there was always something there.”

By the end of the conversation, Wayne has more or less managed to hammer in the idea that maybe all the spell had done was keep them apart until they fit better. Eddie retreats to his room again, this time to brainstorm how to make up for the abrupt three day radio silence. 

Steve has had… a rough few days. If it hadn’t been for Wayne Munson assuring him that no, his nephew hadn’t disappeared like Will Byers or the Holland girl, just “got a bug up his ass about something and is still holed up in his room working on it,” he would have completely spiraled. As it was, he’d had trouble sleeping even before smoking through the last of his stash, on edge all the time, swimming laps at night because that feels better than doing nothing. 

So when he looks up at the jingle of the bell over the door and sees Eddie slink into Family Video, he’s torn between relief and upset. If Eddie is fine, and very obviously not eaten by monsters or kidnapped to an alternate dimension, then where the hell has he been? Why hadn’t he returned any of the messages Steve had left him? Is the return to jock tendencies that off-putting?

His eyes catch on the bag and cardboard carrier Eddie is carrying, laden with three paper cups from the nearest diner. The warm greasy smell hits him, and it’s been a long few days of wanting to stress eat but not letting himself. Steve’s mouth fills with saliva—just because he hasn’t had his lunch break yet.

“Where the hell have you been?” he asks flatly, since there’s no one else in the store right now. 

Eddie ducks his head. “Ye-eah, I deserve that.” He holds up the bag and drinks, tentatively meeting Steve’s gaze from under his bangs. “Brought you a peace offering?”

Steve breaths out sharply and runs a hand through his hair. He’d probably…Yeah, he’d probably been overthinking everything. Wound too tight, like Robin said. Not everything is a sign that the world is ending; Eddie had probably just been busy and knows that Steve is kind of needy, and brought him lunch as an apology. 

God, it smells like his usual order from before Starcourt. And Eddie is here now, perfectly fine except for the shadows under his eyes. What does Eddie have to be so worried about?

Get it together, Harrington. 

“Okay,” Steve says, not bothering to wonder if he can make whatever Eddie’s brought him fit into his diet—cheat days are a thing for a reason, right? “I’ll let Keith know I’m taking my break.”

Tilting his head to one side, Eddie is now close enough to set his offerings on the checkout counter. “No Robin today?”

“I wish. It’s her dad’s birthday, so she got roped into family stuff.”

“Hm.” He flicks at one of the straws poked through the top of the lid. “Looks like I brought one too many milkshakes then. Which is the more egregious sin, letting it go to waste or sharing it with Keith?”

Steve wrinkles his nose. “Second one. I��ll go punch out, meet me around back?”

A few minutes later they’re sitting across from each other at the table behind the little strip mall that houses Family Video and the arcade. It’s technically for anyone who works there, not just the video store, but it’s hot as balls out so there’s no competition for the spot. The first mouthful of milkshake is a welcome explosion of cold and rich chocolatey goodness in Steve’s mouth, and he hums approvingly. Holy shit, he’d forgotten how much he liked ice cream. 

“How’m I doing on the apology?” Eddie asks, starting to pull foil-wrapped burgers out of the greasy bag. 

“Pretty good, if one of those has cheese or bacon on it.” Steve accepts the one held out for him and unwrapping it to find both, and a second patty. He takes a big bite and hums in satisfaction, chewing for a moment and pleasantly aware that Eddie is watching him. As soon as his mouth is empty enough to speak, he says, “... Alright, you’re forgiven. Just answer your damn phone next time, man, okay? Let me know you’re still alive?”

“Sorry,” Eddie says, looking guilty. “Yeah, sorry, I will.” He nudges a large fries across the table, followed by several packets of ketchup. Eddie hates ketchup on fries, because he’s some sort of heathen, but doesn’t so much as comment when Steve squirts all of the packets down one side of the container for himself. “Didn’t mean to make you worry about me, Stevie, I just… got in my head about something.” 

Steve swallows a mixed bite of fries and burger, christ he’s hungry today. Must be the relief of knowing that Eddie is okay. “Anything I can help with?” he offers, because now that his ruffled feathers are soothed, he doesn’t like how tired his friend looks or the hint of melancholy that had flashed across his face at Steve’s requests. Eddie, who had looked at his bruises from Starcourt and visibly didn’t buy the government-concocted explanation for them but agreed not to ask, and thinks the source of his recent tension is from a few days of trauma rather than going on two years.

But also—Stevie? That’s new. Steve takes another big bite of his burger to hide how much the nickname makes him want to beam, that would be so weird given the current topic of conversation. 

“Nah,” Eddie says. He mimes knocking his fist against one temple, other hand tapping the underneath of the table to make a wooden sound. “Got it worked out now. I’m good.”

“Well, good.” Despite himself, Steve grins around his next bite of burger. He swallows, snags Eddie’s milkshake (strawberry) and then Robin’s (vanilla), following with a sip from his own—a poor man’s Neapolitan. “Want to come over tonight and finish that movie?”

A surprised look crosses Eddie’s face at the offer, followed by something else that Steve can’t read, and then a small grin of his own. “Sure, if you don’t mind starting it over. I’ve kinda forgotten the beginning.”

Which is fine, because Robin had insisted on finishing it (“You know I don’t do well with cliffhangers, Steve. Do you want me to not be able to fall asleep tonight trying to guess what happens next? Do you?”) and Steve isn’t sure he remembers where they paused it last time anyway. He’s pleased as he finishes his burger, licking the grease from his fingers and grabbing a bunch of fries positively dripping with ketchup, hurriedly getting them in his mouth before any can drop on his work clothes. Feels even better when Eddie chuckles and reaches across the table to wipe a smear of the condiment that had dripped down the side of his chin, almost making it to his work vest. The contact is nice, makes his heart beat faster. 

It doesn’t have to mean anything, but he wants it to.

Tag list (comment to be added): @hotluncheddie @8em-em-em8

Part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11

#love spell no go au #wg steddie #scoops words #steve harrington #eddie munson #good uncle wayne #feeder eddie munson #i don't even think he realizes what he's doing he just wants steve to have a nice lunch #the extra milkshake really was a coincidence but of course steve finishes it #and most of eddie's too lbr #goes back to work with a little more pep in his step that has nothing to do with the eating purely to fuel his body he's been doing lately #does he learn anything from this? no he does not #but he's got a lot on his mind

[oceandiagonale]

okay. 42 inbox, 31 drafts. not all of them are oc sunday things but a lot of them are,,,,, hmm,,,,

(for the new folks, oc sunday is a thing where people send in their pokemon ocs and I post them because having ocs is rad and everyone has their own spin on the pokemon world/plots/stories. but I haven't done it since last july)

#oceandi speaks #tag rambling #like I did get a bit overwhelmed at the time but the biggest thing keeping me from oc sunday has been using all my free energy trying #to update the comic consistently . I've had these updatess sketched for so long now lol it feels ridiculous that it's 2024 and #gene's still in [checks calendar] december 2022.... feels bad #then I've also gotten very consumed by AUs (pieces and star trek rn) that I haven't even been posting on my sideblog #and then the last thing is that I've been trying to add image IDs and alt text to everything since the end of the hisui run #(on top of real life stuff but lbr who isn't dealing with that these days lol) #I don't want to... like... overwhelm everyone's dashes posting 70 things over the course of a few days..... but I want to share the #ocs that have been sent in............ hmm. well I have my update for tomorrow done on TIME for once so maybe tonight I'll start queueing

[mskatesharma]

Do you ever just randomly think about how at 18, Mary ran away chasing her own happiness by leaving her home and family (and their expectations) with the love of her life (as was her right)?

But at the same age, Kate was suppressing her grief at losing her father because Mary was too lost in hers, and was stepping up to become a parent to Edwina (and somewhat of a guardian to Mary) when she was still a child herself, as well as trying to make sure that she and her family didn’t end up poverty-stricken and destitute? That Kate suppressed and forewent going after anything that she might have wanted to make sure that Edwina (and Mary) had a decent and comfortable future where they didn’t have to toil and struggle.

And that even after all that, Mary had the audacity to say the words “I forgive you” to Kate? Because with respect, forgive Kate for what? Yeah Kate made some mistakes, but she’s also the reason the Sharmas survived that long, relatively comfortably (seeing as Edwina had no idea that they were struggling financially). Kate who warned Mary (and Edwina and Lady D) about Anthony in the first place but they chose not to listen.

Mary who never really paid any proper attention to Kate, who had no fucking idea that Kate was struggling; Mary who leaned on Kate and sought comfort from her, but had no clue her daughter felt unworthy and lonely and thought it was better for her family if she removed herself once they were settled, as opposed to “wanting her independence”.

Mary who had no idea about her daughter’s dowry or what they (and Mary) would do once Edwina was proposed to/married, only to feel ‘betrayed’ by Kate because she did what she thought was best (when she was 18 and her father had just died) when Mary hadn’t even given it a second thought.

Mary who heard a man refer to her daughter as “a thorn” and said nothing? Mary who instead of going to find the daughter she threw out of the room to see how she was went for a fucking walk. Mary who admitted her mistakes to the man who caused pain and strife to her family before her own daughter (a man her daughter was right about).

Mary who let her daughter who was still a child be burdened with ensuring the survival of their family? Who let said daughter extinguish any hopes and wants for herself without any sort of protest? That Mary having to forgive Kate for something? Mary who is supposed to be Kate’s mother? That Mary having to forgive Kate for something? The lack of self awareness is staggering. Fuck all the way off.

#bridgerton #bridgerton netflix #kate sharma #mary sharma #kate sheffield #mary sheffield #kanthony #kathony #before anyone accuses me of course im not saying that mary shouldn’t have married mr sharma #and she she should have stayed with her horrible parents and the man they chose for her #im just pointing out that the lack of self awareness displayed by mary (and edwina lbr) is infuriating #also kate and edwina at that age but i don’t have the energy right now lol

[yonpote]

if dan and phil got married do you think we’d even know? i feel like they probably wouldn’t share and it would be a very small event with only a few people? idk that’s just the vibes i get from what they’ve said about marriage… i think it would be funniest if they shared but only vaguely so we would forever have to wonder

honestly irl i would want it to be a very small event, like just family and even in the family just the ones that are actually close and its just a nice pleasant normal wedding

but the reception. they go all out its a full on rave at their fav bar that they rented out theres drinks theres coke theres poppers the whole nine yards and OFC this is the one they invite youtuber friends to but they all have to sign a contract that if they vlog, dnp will only be in 15% of your vlog maximum being seven minutes, and they cant say that its dan and phil's party but some other party and dnp just happen to be there

#important: its not an nda its a contract #they want youtubers and influencers to make it look like the most ballin party and not be able to say where they actually went #and now dnp have the upper hand. cuz lbr they wouldnt really care if it gets leaked #like sure twitter will be more annoying than usual bit other than that whatever #but now they have leverage over youtubers who want to content farm them #also pj is not a youtuber invite pj and sophie are of course invited to the actual wedding

[polite-pandemonium]

There's this TikTok trending sound floating around where the gist is 'can't tell if the friend who is always fake flirting with you is still fake flirting' and I immediately thought of these two. It's practically canon IMHO.

Who is kicking up the fake flirting a notch differs between the two of them on the daily.

#it is my personal headcanon that these two are constantly flirting with each other and causing strangers to just be like SO ARE THEY DATING #OR WHAT? #and of course their friends are like 'ugh no they are just like that' with the tone of people who have seen too much #Daisuke in particular is Over It #will full on leave the room when they start #thinks Takeru brings out the utter worst in Hikari (which he does lbr) #and sometimes they take the flirting too far and who knows maybe they end up fooling around #WHO KNOWS #but also - tri had LOADS of this quasi-flirty banter between them #so it is SLIGHTLY PRACTICALLY CANON #remember Sora's absolutely exasperated face when Hikari warns Meiko to watch out for Takeru? #it's that all of the time #also I wish I could have used caps of them in Kizuna or the Beginning and not caps of them in tri #but they don't have enough scenes together or apart in Kizuna #and the Beginning isn't out yet #so sorry you get this pseudo-meme with the uggo tri animation #and this is from someone who actually enjoyed tri a lot #anyway i have to go run errands I am an Adult #fun fact - I use the same canva account to make this bs that I do to make the reports I put all over my office #that canva account has two selves - employee of a global advertising agency #fandom idiot #digimon #takari #takeru and hikari #takeru takaishi #hikari yagami #takehika

[whiteshipnightjar]

when joanna newsom writes a wikipedia post. this is still the most poetic way to live.

#i felt that ending in my bones #moths #butterflies #cosmia #and of course #joanna vibes #bc lbr it has joanna written all over it

[ferretwhomst]

the dtales fandom is so much less Gross than the gf fandom in terms of ships. it's been a few weeks since i watched dt17 and only now have i come across some gross fanart on pinterest, and that too only like a Single one in a sea of other pins. with gf i always stumbled upon Weird Shit whenever i looked up fanart </3

(yes i know Every fandom has its creepy, dark crevices in which only the most strange and disturbing content thrives. it's just nice to not have it Thrust upon me whenever i look up my hyperfixation this time lmfao)

#of course now i curate my experience #i don't look up gf art on pinterest because. #lbr that side of pinterest is a dumpster fire of proshitters+the most painfully 2014 tumblr reposts uve ever seen #(although it is fun looking at posts from before the show ended/pre-atots sometimes) #and on tumblr i've muted. just. so many tags #but STILL #ferret rambles

[suffarustuffaru]

you wanna elaborate on the Heinkel-Otto parallels?

SURE THING ANON 👍👍 alright so a while back i made this reinhard-otto parallel analysis here if youre curious and wanna check that out - i also briefly go into how the suwen and astrea families have kind of sort of crossed paths? and also ottos hometown (picoutatte) is historically where ex novel drama involving wilhelm, theresia, stride, etc happened so theres that too!!

yeah so apart from the suwens and astreas having small connections in the past - regarding heinkel and otto specifically, i think the two biggest parallels are 1. the…. alcoholism……. and 2. certain. Aspects. of their personalities. im just gonna address the alcoholism first bc thats probably the most obvious parallel. (also im gonna go into arc 8 spoilers a bit btw!!)

so. i mean we all know heinkels an alcoholic - hes turned to alcoholism to deal with the Trauma Conga Line thats basically been his family history. and yeah. id say ottos an alcoholic too. when we're first introduced to otto in arc 3, hes off in a bar drinking to cope with getting into debt. in general he seems to drink often, which in story its acknowledged that yeah, hes a merchant, negotiations often include a bit of alcohol and otto knows hes gotta be able to hold his liquor - theres an arc 5 side story where he goes to find the dude he needs to restore the tome, ottos brought liquor as a gift, then they drink and thats why theres that one bit in arc 5 where otto shows up again late and hes drunk as hell lasjdfljds. but also like we get more confirmation that otto drinks to cope bc at the beginning of arc 5 after the emilia camp-ana camp meeting, hes drinking and complaining about how shitty the emilia camp's negotiation skills are to garfiel and subaru, who both act like this (otto getting drunk to deal with stress) is something that happens often. (im referring to the wn btw i dont have access to the ln hah)

(also this ask turned out very long so im putting the rest of it right under the cut)

This is what he's like when he's drunk. He's working a stressful job, so they give him his drinking time, but it might actually just encourage even more stress.

also additionally theres a few more alcohol-related things with otto. like how he gets drunk at the end of arc 4 knighting ceremony celebration - which yeah hah you can chalk up to him just you know drinking at a party to celebrate the occasion, but i swear otto 1. just keeps getting drunk on and off screen and 2. given otto is a very Anxious person, the timing of him getting drunk as hell at this party celebrating not just subarus knighthood but also like. officially marking safety - for now - and the end of all the arc 4 mindfuckery that otto got dragged into.... like the moment otto got reunited with alcohol again in arc 4 he decides to get blackout drunk akdndn. the timing is very interesting, i think. or maybe im just reading into that a bit too much hah but im 100% sure ottos an alcoholic anyway so.

(other alcohol stuff with otto includes him having to get banned from alcohol after he was bedridden bc of his arc 5 leg injuries + every time we see otto drink alcohol in canon he drinks to get drunk aidndnd. EVERY TIME.)

anyway moving on to other details. i think its interesting to look at heinkel and otto as characters and examine who they are as people and also their arcs bc 1. i do think theyre a bit similar in some ways and 2. this factors into Why their coping mechanisms are incredibly bad T^T

yeah so. heinkel as i said earlier. we all know hes dealing Badly with his familys entire trauma-filled drama. but i also think its interesting to examine him as a person in Full, and what i mean by that is - the heinkel we see in the main story is very different from the person he used to be. and we dont get a lot of content on younger heinkel specifically, but we get still get a Lot out of it. we see that he used to be a kinder person. he loved and doted on reinhard (when you have a four year old that sneaks out of the house just to see his dad bc he got worried about his dad and the moment he sees his dad he immediately goes up to him - like that shows TRUST). and heinkels given a lot of interesting descriptions in the once upon a time in lugunica side story that are very much at odds with how he is in the present day - he has a "gentle" face, "his voice and countenance was sweet", marcos explicitly tells him "It's time you stop being nice to everyone. It's because you're like this that you've been forced into a job you're not suited for." and this is also after we get the implication (?) that heinkel basically got peer pressured into being the one to ask marcos to come back and rejoin the knights.

marcos also purposefully pokes aggressively at heinkel's insecurities; you get the sense that heinkel is lonely, most likely friendless, an outcast even as hes simultaneously well known due to his family. marcos insults heinkels abilities as a swordsman, and marcos also harshly says that heinkels cocky and tries addressing marcos as if theyre friends when theyre not. "Since when were we such good pals, you and I? Surely you don't think so just because we have the same teacher? How many students does Bordeaux have? Are all of them your friends?" and heinkel tries his best but ultimately hes in the shadow of his family and hes expected to be able to keep up while also looking after reinhard and desperately trying to find a cure for his wife (who was most likely his only Equal and close companion).

but heinkel in the end always falls short of expectations. hes painfully aware of this, with the implication that its always been this way basically for the majority of his life, if not all of his life. and being an astrea and being a knight means that hes watched very closely - or at least thats what i think is the most likely case. so when you compare younger heinkel and current heinkel, you also get the sense that he eventually burned out and gave up even trying that hard at much of anything. thats why he kind of doesnt give a shit most of the time about being harsh and mean, lashing out, saying almost anything he wants, doing what he wants but also failing miserably at that 99% of the time, and also he falls deeper into his alcoholism too and doesnt care about showing this either. hes very publicly a disgrace. he knows this. hes an emotional wreck and he cant crawl out of his own failures, so why care about what other people think? why try to fix himself? its too late. hes a miserable man only driven by 1. spite towards his family and 2. trying to find a cure for his wife and 3. his own alcoholism and 4. possibly his kind of sort of care for schult (aka heinkels reinhard replacement T^T). and we see in arc 7 and 8 too that hes so depressed and tired and jaded after dealing with a lifetime of failure that he just. kind of gives up. last time we see him in arc 8 hes being dragged around by groovy and rowan and he was drinking with rowan in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.

so. what about this is similar to otto?

well, otto and heinkel both struggle with dealing with their emotions and insecurities. with heinkel thats pretty easy to see, but with otto its harder to see until you hit the really Obvious parts (arc 8). like yeah, otto gets flustered a lot, hes simultaneously sensitive but at the same time hes pretty independent, he can handle himself, he's dependable - right? but the thing with otto is that he and heinkel both have a habit of lashing out. theyre anxious. they turn to numbing behaviors to cope. theyre pushed around by external factors but at the same time theyre also reckless and do things that speed towards inevitably helping in destroying themselves. they both have friendless and lonely backstories, theyre Extremely aware about their own weakness and powerlessness especially when it comes to dangers theyre up against and especially when it comes to comparing themselves to others. they get Very angry at people they love(d), which makes them get aggressive, and for heinkel we know for sure that theres a LOT of resentment there, and for otto, the anger is Bordering on resentment if it isnt already kind of resentment at this point. theyre also haunted by their failures - with heinkel this is more obvious, but i think once you examine otto deeper hes also kind of dealing with this too.

that, and - while otto hasnt hit rock bottom like heinkel has, i think that if otto keeps going down the path hes on now, hes gonna end up hitting that rock bottom and end up having a similar fate to heinkel right now. bitter. jaded. tired. burnt out and angry and miserable. which, when you look at the ifs - yeah any otto that ends up enslaved by russell fellow ends up bitter, jaded, tired, and an empty shell of himself. and this is also, of course, assuming that the main otto permadeath flags dont happen aljsdfljsd. because if you remember otto's third trial line, it was something along the lines of "if that's the case, then you should've left me in that cave (to die)!" (correct me if im wrong) which 1. sounds like something he would say at any point in the current arc 8 otto-related conflicts and 2. my guess is that this line is referring to when otto was captured by the witch cult in arc 3 and put in a cave. otto is eventually gonna reach a point where he just goes "well you shouldve left me to die in that cave then" which. you know, its not boding well for him hah.

and yeah so. ok im gonna try and elaborate a bit more on some of what i just said about heinkel and otto hah bc its a whole list.

heinkel and otto, i think, have spent so much of their lives with factors out of their control while simultaneously making decisions that make things worse for themselves.

of course with otto, this also manifests as his bad luck - his luck is so bad that he nearly drowned as a baby in the bath, in addition to generally being clumsy his whole life. like this is "getting fucked by the universe itself" levels of bad luck. then you have the impact otto's dp left on him which leads to him having problems with socializing with others, which also leaves him friendless and also bullied growing up (see: people ostracizing him and calling him a "freak") and later he gets chased out of the town by assassins...... then he almost gets sold into slavery, gets captured by the witch cult and almost dies to them, etc...... yeah its a lot. but then you get to otto CHOOSING to save roswaal's tome and that tome being one of the demands the witch cult makes during the arc 5 siege. and then otto gets injured by ley as a punishment for this. he spends time being bedridden, having to be banned from alcohol, knowing that some of his friends are off on some dangerous mission that he cant do anything about, and also he cant be his usual workaholic self either. when we see otto again in arc 7-8, he's participating in a full fledged WAR. and he's decided to dedicate himself to opposing subaru despite being warned that he'll destroy himself doing so. otto is making Poor Decisions right now.

otto turns to micromanaging to deal with all of this, while heinkels the one whos at the point where he gives up. he cant really go on without being pushed along. he collapses to his knees in the middle of the battlefield in arc 7 and he admits out loud that he cant do this (specifically addressing louanna as he does). for otto, he's dealt with his biggest more traumatic events thatve caused the most change in him (pre-arc 3 and arcs 3-8) all crammed in the past year. for heinkel, he's been dragged through the dirt by life and his own decisions for around the past twenty years of his life. thats more than HALF of his life. hes thirty-nine, which, yeah thats older than a lot of the cast but thats only because so much of the cast is in their twenties and under. thirty-nine is not that old. especially when you remember that that means heinkel had reinhard when he was nineteen.

but again, we dont get too much content from heinkels pov directly, but theres no denying that much of the shit happening to him is also his fault. hes ultimately self-destructive and hes also pretty much destroyed his relationship with reinhard (and people like carol and grimm, judging off of how carol understandly reacts negatively to heinkel and grimm likely follows suit), which really DID NOT need to happen. yeah. all the astrea drama involving louanna falling into a coma, theresia dying, wilhelm being an Ass, reinhard being the sword saint, the astreas in general being watched and controlled by the kingdom, and general expectations from the world are all out of heinkel's control. what couldve happened, however, is that heinkel couldve done his best to be an adult and a parent to reinhard - ESPECIALLY when he still had carol and grimm to help out with that - which wouldve turned out better for both himself and reinhard. but that didnt happen.

heinkel turned on his own son and pushed everyone away. otto has similar isolating behaviors, because like heinkel, otto doesnt actually talk to anyone in a way that makes himself vulnerable. heinkel and otto arent actually close with anybody. which, again, isnt helped by the General unpleasant aspects of their personalities (anger, irritation, lashing out, etc).

its hard to see otto's isolation more than heinkel (who is very clearly hated by a bunch of people, his wife has been in a coma for ages, and basically almost no one respects him so like. OF COURSE he doesnt have anyone to confide in), but i think that it gets more clear when you look at otto closely. yeah, otto usually makes it clear when hes annoyed or irritated or angry about something, and otto does things like declare hes subarus friend or open up about his backstory to the emilia camp in various side stories - but hes never actually more vulnerable. when you look at him talk about his backstory, it doesnt feel like theres emotion attached to it - its more like "yeah this happened and this happened". its more factual. and then you remember that he doesnt actually talk about his feelings any deeper than that with Anyone. hes either got his head stuck in work, or theres the occasional "otto sneaks off and gets drunk" scene, or theres all the times where otto goes "yeah so i did this for you, subaru, but im not gonna tell you why or anything" or "yeah i will totally leave at the first sign of danger", or otto only lets himself be a tiny bit vulnerable at a time. like when he tells subaru that theyre friends, or when he reunites with subaru in arc 8 and takes the time to sneak into the room just to quickly say that hes glad that subarus back and to not worry that much. but its absolutely more focused on other people, namely subaru, and not otto. his problem in arc 8 is that hes keeping all his feelings to himself because its all connected to all his other secrets (his arc 8 plans). hes open about being pissed off about staying in vollachia, but its more so "this is a dumb decision and puts us in danger, the more logical route would be to leave" and less "im afraid that we might get hurt the longer we stay here and its making me anxious and angry". he doesnt ACTUALLY talk to anyone in depth about whatever the hell his issues are (roswaal doesnt count bc otto just brushes off roswaal's warnings), he just insists on dealing with it himself like he does with almost anything. his tsundere habits are normally played for laughs, and yeah it IS amusing. but no completely well-adjusted person deals with intimacy by getting all pissy like otto does. why did he see subaru in the forest in arc 4 and immediately jump to punching subaru and giving a "this is why you suck, but also please just let me help you" speech?

and when it comes to like - complicated issues regarding Relationships, you look over at heinkel too and heinkel still misses reinhard. heinkel wouldnt need to use schult as a reinhard replacement if heinkel didnt actually miss reinhard deep down. theres like a love-hate dynamic there when it comes to heinkel and reinhard - heinkel hates reinhard the sword saint. but heinkel misses his son, which is interesting because schult Conveniently looks and acts like how a younger reinhard would, right? heinkel and little kid reinhard was most likely the last time heinkel was ever happy, judging off of the trajectory of heinkels life so far. reinhard is the last person that heinkel has left, and reinhards near silence when hes anywhere near heinkel says so much because there USED to be love there. but heinkel very much obviously resents reinhard now because after reinhard kills theresia in arc 5, heinkel VOWS to make reinhards life a living hell.

its kind of like a version of otto deciding to oppose subaru but to a Much Further extent, because otto doesnt hate subaru. but otto hates subaru's actions in arc 8 because it puts subaru in danger. but again, ottos playing with fire here because the ottosuba conflict is pitting them against each other and Resentment and Anger are gonna come out of that. and i think that otto misses subaru, because the arc 8 conflict is drifting them further apart more than ever. ottos afraid to lose subaru, so hes been going to extremes to not lose subaru. heinkel, i think, thinks that hes Already lost the reinhard that he loved. so turning to schult + getting rid of the current reinhard is the next best thing. otto is still clinging onto subaru with all his might, basically. which ironically is what heinkel was doing with reinhard - especially with Everything going on with the astreas - until that switch from "reinhard is my son and he wouldnt kill his grandmother" to "this is all reinhard's fault" happened somewhere around when reinhard was five or so. that switch wasnt instant. you dont go from loving to hating someone in an instant in most cases, and we know that heinkel defended reinhard from wilhelm at first. this change was gradual, the cracks just started then.

we're seeing these cracks happen with ottosuba, because subaru is ottos closest relationship. theres something to be said too, about the slight parallel between heinkel-louanna and otto-subaru in the sense that i think that theres a very likely chance that heinkel knows that even if louanna wakes up, she most likely wont like him anymore. and theres no way that heinkel doesnt know that things wont be the same anymore with her anyway because she was frozen in time. shes twenty years old. the same age as their son. shes missed Way Too Much, and if she even still remembers anyone, shes absolutely not going to approve of heinkel being an absolute asshole. and i think heinkel hates himself too much NOT to notice - at least a little bit - this. that louanna might just end up hating him in the end. but heinkels one redeeming quality now is that hes still dedicated to his wife all these years later. hes been trying to find a cure for her since he was twenty one years old. theres a side story where we see him in the present tracking down a possible lead and being absolutely devastated AGAIN that the lead was a dead end and theres still no cure. and this is with the possibility that heinkel knows that louanna might end up hating him when she wakes up anyway.

and otto, with all of his intelligence and how much time he devotes to doing things behind subaru's back, most likely knows that subaru will end up angry and devastated and might even hate otto if he ever finds out about ottos plans regarding louis/spica. like imagine being subaru and you find out that otto, someone you very deeply trust, has been keeping secrets so that your DAUGHTER dies. like this is relationship ruining shit, and theres no way that otto doesnt know that. otto knows that subaru cares about her. otto knows all about subarus love for others and his self-sacrificial tendencies. thats why ottos keeping all these secrets - he knows subaru wouldnt approve and he does it anyway. i know i love to joke about how otto is basically hitting subaru with a car and then trying to nurse him back to health like a baby bird but that is quite LITERALLY what otto is trying to do.

also regarding otto and heinkel being insecure about their weaknesses: heinkel is clear with this - the dude has been scrutinized by everyone for at least the past twenty years, AND everyone else in his family from theresia to wilhelm to reinhard is more powerful and capable than he is. this is also not helped by heinkels alcoholism, general mental instability, and reoccurring failures - failing to measure up to expectations, failing to find a cure for louanna, theresia almost killing him in arc 5 and then being killed by reinhard in front of him, and the first time theresia died was because she went on the white whale mission in heinkels stead because he was too afraid to go on it and KNEW that he wasnt fit for that mission. AND THEN reinhard got her sword saint dp. heinkel has dealt with a lot of failure in his life. it made him bitter and harsh but its worn him down. otto is the one whos gotten Sharper because of his own failures.

with otto, we dont see much insecurity about his powerlessness UNTIL arc 8 is extremely straightforward about it with "walking in light/darkness". otto compares himself to julius, emilia, subaru, and says that they walk in the light while he walks in the dark. its honestly sad to see - this is otto acknowledging that he CANT be as good as julius, emilia, and subaru. otto straight up lists their good traits - their idealism, their determination, their ability to see the good in things and try their absolute best at that - and otto says that he cant do it. otto acknowledges that hes basically useless compared to them unless he resigns himself to the "darkness" - so he takes up being an enemy, essentially, to subaru as his reason to live on. its quite frankly depressing and self-destructive. hes going "i cant be good like them, so why try? i'll go another path even if it kills me" which i think is a sentiment heinkel can relate to.

but heinkel and otto think that theres no other option than what they are Now when thats clearly not the case. and they need to see that theres Other Ways to go about their lives. theres no need to stay in the darkness forever, which is the key problems they need to deal with at the moment.

and one last quick note - yeah, heinkel and otto are the black sheep of their family. of course, the suwens have an actual healthy family dynamic while the astreas are a whole mess of generational trauma, but otto notes that hes lead to a lot of trouble for his family. iirc in the arc 4 wn he calls himself a burden on them too and how he'd like to pay them back for all the years they looked after him despite all the trouble he brought (you know, regarding ottos dp, that one time he caused a bug swarm in the town, being chased out by assassins, etc). otto is basically the unwitting "trouble child" of the family. this is a fact that also increases when you remember the ifs - in every if, either otto ends up dead, sold into slavery, or hes main otto whos stuck in the middle of a war right now and is willing to get his hands dirty. otto is known to his whole family as someone who gets into trouble, and they all worry about him but purposefully make a point to not think about him too much or theyll get anxious thinking about wtf hes even doing.

meanwhile heinkel is a black sheep with his own family in the sense that 1. this is even reflected in his character design with the sheer amount of black and brown hes wearing - just take a look at his design compared to the rest of his family and 2. hes way weaker compared to everyone else (not counting louanna) and 3. hes distant from all of them. wilhelm, theresia, reinhard. regarding wilhelm and theresia - we dont know much about their parenting when it comes to heinkel, but its interesting to note that it seems that even before everything went Wrong, it may have been a bit distant. when theresia tells wilhelm that heinkel cant go on the white whale mission, wilhelm calls heinkel a coward. i know that like all these characters are thinking with Medieval Logic, but its still a Cold thing to say. if heinkels not ready for that mission, then hes going to fucking die on that mission, which doesnt seem to occur to wilhelm. like yeah, theresias sworn off sword sainting and its a whole Thing that shes got trauma about. but theresia the sword saint logically wouldnt have died on that mission if it wasnt for pandora + losing her dp suddenly. heinkel on the other hand most likely wouldve died if he went on that mission.

and post-Everything Going Wrong in the Astrea Family, in arc 5, theresia is dying again and her last words are ONLY for wilhelm. she has more than enough time in her last moments to spare AT LEAST a quick "love you" for reinhard or heinkel but she doesnt. she has nothing to say to her son and grandson, and heinkel notes that theresia looked hatefully at him and reinhard. heinkel specifically says something along the lines of "who else could that have been but mother?" after noting how she looked at him too. yeah, heinkels an unreliable narrator who thinks that everyone around him hates him just like he hates himself (see: his narration in arc 7 thinking that another character is looking at him angrily when that character from their pov just Pities him). but at the same time - theresia not having anything left to say to her son and grandson is not a good look. and wilhelm deciding to turn his back on five year old reinhard, and most likely heinkel for trying to defend reinhard at the time, is not a good look either. this is also not helped by heinkel again being very Publicly an absolute wreck, so of course no one respects him.

so yeah uh. tldr: heinkel is an extreme version of ottos worst traits in a lot of ways and otto is just the one thats a little better at looking put together while heinkels so damn tired hes given that up a long time ago. and if otto keeps trying to do questionable shit hes gonna end up miserable in a very heinkel-like way. they are both pretty sad and pathetic and also in desperate need of psychiatric help <3 also they need to ACTUALLY address their core issues and feelings or they are going to keep being fucked in that darkness forever for sure.

#tldr is that i think heinkel would be like 'god this kid is such a conniving little asshole' and otto would be like 'i think i would rather #die than end up like that stinky old man' while enviously eyeing heinkels alcohol. theyd rip each others heads off #also side note about heinkel and rowan - rowan is like the one person who would understand current heinkel as he is now. probably. which #is why they end up drinking together and heinkel just lets rowan drag him around aljfljsdf #rezero #heinkel astrea #otto suwen #ask #i think i made a post a while back about a fic idea i had with reinhard-otto-heinkel. yeah itd be hilarious putting them in a room #together for sure. absolute worst combo of all time #arc 5-8 spoilers #also i think i forgor to go a little deeper into it bc theres already so much in this but. regarding the alcoholism like otto and heinkel #have u know. all those failures all those Unlucky events all the self destruction and also no one to talk to so. alcohol is right there #for them. theyre avoidant people in their own ways - both similar and different - so of course they go to avoiding their problems via #alcohol. esp when theyre both very emotionally turbulent people so Numbing it is!!! T^T they need rehab too lbr.

[knowlesian]

working on a short post (…maybe? look. anyone following me knows what my version of short looks like, when it comes to media analysis) about why from a structural/implications level, i don’t love the read that ed’s desire to throw a talent show is an indication he needs to be brought down to earth by any means necessary 

(ft why that read also makes that scene between ed and lucius in the blanket fort sort of… narratively atonal in a way that also strips it of the poignance of connection)

#look i just think there’s a lot of ground between ‘ed’s fine now the talent show means he’s fine’ which i am certainly not arguing #and ‘the talent show is an indication ed is attempting to start finding out what he likes’ and thus a hopeful thing #he knows what he does NOT like #also don’t love the implications of arguing izzy was calling ed a nambypamby (which:we all know what unsaid implications exist there) #(calling a man effeminate pulls on some very basic shit we alllll understand lbr) #and saying he’d wish he let ed die in response to ed being unhealthy and needing to be snapped out of it lends an air of righteousness #i would argue ed is trying to change and izzy hates change is the point of the scene #among other things of course but like: why is ed putting on a robe and singing unhealthy? #stede bonnet did not sing and he does not have a monopoly on robes #so unless we’re saying ed can’t possibly like singing or robes… #etc etc etc i’m gonna work on the piece now

[angelsdean]

thoughts based on this anon to @queermania

no but really they should’ve had jack have to kill Michael!dean and not be able to bc despite telling Cas he’d kill dean if it meant saving the world from Michael when it comes down to it he. Can’t :( that’s one of his dads ! And he knows dean wouldn’t fault him for doing it. He’s right when he said it’s what dean would want. Oh self-sacrificing dean. But jack can’t do it, so instead he uses up all his power and burns his soul to expel michael out of dean and kill him. And hey, sacrificing souls for family…that’s something dean understands too. He doesn’t Like it but he gets it. Then later, the parallel to this comes around when dean’s gotta kill soulless!jack but he can’t !!! Jack tells him it’s ok, he understands. Just like dean understood why he needed to be killed as Michael!dean. But that’s his kid!! So he tosses the gun away bc he doesn’t care if jack doesn’t have a soul, he’s still worth saving, still worth loving. He’s still family. And, god, they really do love in similar ways. Anyways dean gets down on the ground in front of kneeling jack and pulls him close, hugs him to his chest and says, “it’s ok, I got you, kid.” And THEN, chuck burns out Jack’s eyes while dean’s holding him, powerless to do anything. And dean shuts his eyes instinctively at the burst of light and he hears Cas’s anguished scream shake the world and he doesn’t want to open his eyes, thinks if he keeps them closed it won’t be real. Anyways, it all could’ve been done SO much better and for maximum grief and despair. Esp during the divorce arc to have them BOTH deeply mourning jack instead of having all of dean’s grief be focused on Mary which, tbh, didn’t really fit.

#sorry but like. yeah Mary’s death affected them but she was already there on borrowed time thru a loophole #she wasn’t *meant* to be there so I think in some ways dean would be like. ok with it #like the universe has righted itself again #of course he’d miss her and feel grief but not to the extent of cutting out jack and Cas #plus lbr he barely had a relationship with Mary. like yea that’s his mom but more in title than anything else #everything he knew abt her was myth #sure he’d mourn the loss of what could’ve been and of getting to know her better #and they were finally getting to a better place w each other #but still imo Mary’s death was blown out of proportion and didn’t hit right narratively #like the weight of it was not felt and did not feel equal to the fall out and aftermath #vic.txt #spn meta #the good spn that lives in my mind

[allgremlinart]

anywayyy sorry for saying “ghostbat kid fic idea :3c” and ending it like that sdhsd I promise I’m thinking abt a fluffier/funnier situation involving Bao I promisseee

#essentially: the easiest way for Minhkhoa to gain custody of Bao (since like.. he's not in any records) is for him to 'fake' marry Bruce #Bruce to adopt Bao - Bruce to 'divorce' him and give legal custody of Bao over to Minhkhoa - #but now of course they have to get married for REAL... becus FEELINGS... #and Bao parent trapped them (on accident. he hates their cringe old man selves lbr)

[sad--tree]

well shit. just checked out the lineup 4 bluesfest this year and i may have 2 actually brave the crowds 4 once. there might just be enough ppl id wanna see to make it worth it, altho tbh matthew good is almost enough for that on his own lol coz like. matthew good!!! that's the music of my freakin childhood man!! (*the most canadian sentiment ever)

#but also: ben howard; orville peck; charley crockett; mother mother #and of course. motley fucking crue. for some reason. i mean why not right? lol #ftr no i dont know why its called bluesfest when theres so much non-blues. they DO have blues its just. theres a lotta other stuff. #idk. perpetual mystery here in the nations capital. #i REALLYYYY wanna see matt good tho i was supposed to in 2020 and he CANCELLED instead of rescheduling like every1 else 😭 #still might go to mtl in april to see him tho. festival sets are just Not the Same lbr #NOW i just gotta see if any of the artists i wanna see are on the same days..... pls..... so much more cost effective.... #my whole life ive lived here and ive never been 2 bluesfest. maybe thisll be the year that changes #hmmm. $280 for a 'pick any 3 days' ticket is Not Bad At All.... definitely gonna b Pondering this further.... #tho $410 for a full pass is also not terrible. relatively speaking bc tgats is still Not A Small Amount of Money #not sure the full lineup is worth that 2 me tho #HMMM #anyways hey bluesfest. why the FUCK is your website so bad my god the scrolling lag good fucking lord. what the fuck are u DOING back there #also also. on the topic of music festivals. i KNOW its not coming back but.... heavy mtl return W H E N 🥺😭🙏🔥 #i just. wanna go 2 a metal music fest. w/o breaking the bank and/or subjecting myself to festival camping. which i refuse 2 try by myself. #not that we really have that sorta festival here at all but it seems the Really Big european ones are like that and uhhh. #it just seems like A Lot to do that solo. for a first time doing smth. #ANYWAYS !! still contemplating whether i want 2 spend altogether Too Much Fucking Money to see metallica and iron maiden later in the year #like on the 1 hand its A Lot Of Money plus id have to travel (edmonton 4 metallica; mtl or TO 4 maiden) #on the other hand. those guys arent gettin any younger. and the FOMO is unfortunately real af when u never know if theyre gonna retire #or like. DIE. (ok ok or like. idk break a hip or smth lol) ( they arent THAT that old just. u kno. fear.)

[sarastuss]

me vc : i would never cry to a song, i am an adult woman - me, whenever flow, dragonsong or answers is playing :

#❛ ☼ ― ooc. / i do not have a fancy tag for this. #it always attacks me personally #( and lbr i am a sensitive girl of course i cry to almost every sad song )

[red-hemlock]

// [ hide ] sender leans in to receiver's body, hoping to hide against them in a moment of fear

Action Prompts for Leaning @mute-call

Green eyes pass a glance behind, taking-in the sight of the fearful form leant against her... He had good reason, denying the fact that things weren't a bit hairy at the moment would be nothing short of naïve. That gaze shifts ahead, a sight that causes her to bristle once more and fist an already too-tight grip around the blade-hilt in her palm. Hired hands, and a lot of them too, sent by their 'illustrious' target to no doubt excise the thorn trying to stab into his side; and rid the world of her employer as well. Kill the killer, and you've taken the-out the immediate issue; but eliminate the one holding the leash, and you've stayed the collaring of further attack dogs in the future.

Smart. But not if Bell's current mouthy 'mutt' had anything to say about it. River's free hand slips behind, a slow brush of skin-upon-skin, but a thought halts her touch at fingertips only. The minute she takes Steven's hand and turns, they'll be on them like sharks raring to savage a bloody carcass... Far too many to focus on killing, whilst keeping him safe.

"...Sorry, Boss. I'm afraid I'm going to be needing both hands to take-care of this." Raising to flatten against his chest, that hand now pushes him back. A movement seemingly born out of annoyance to their annoying pursuers, but in truth, it was a gentle nudge toward the door behind them. Half-hidden in the dark, and their only apparent way out.

"Go, and don't look back." River speaks the soft order with an edge of insistence, "Don't worry. I'll meet you back, same spot as always."

#mute-call #(SORRY HOME-SLICE THIS IS SO LATE WORK HAS BEEN KILLING MY DRIVE TO WRITE THIS WEEK I SWEAR.) #(BUT I HOPE THIS WAS WORTH THE WAIT AT LEAST! DX;;;;;) #(Consider this probably set sometime after our other thread. WHICH I'M OF COURSE ALSO TOTES GONNA REPLY TO.) #('Cuz lbr I doubt they're gonna succeed in any kind of first attempt at Afton's life lol.) #(ALSO I DON'T THINK I'VE SEEN YOU MENTION STEVEN'S HEIGHT AND IT WASN'T IN YOUR ABOUT PAGE SO-...) #(CONSIDER THIS ME FEELING HE'S SOMEWHERE AROUND HER HEIGHT. WITHOUT ACTUALLY CONFIRMING ANYTHING IN THIS RESPONSE LOL. 8'D)

[byanyan]

not to shock anyone too hard or anything but byan has a tiktok account that they post to pretty regularly. it's mostly ootd and makeup content interspersed with some knife tricks.

#do they also occasionally post little hauls without explicitly stating that everything was stolen? absolutely they do. #and of course they toss some memes on there too #mostly tho it's clothes makeup and knives bc that's just their brand lbr #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ OOC ⋮ DON’T @ ME.