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#but on the inside she like “rise n shine motherfuckers we got a whole day of self loathing ahead of us let’s keep it aggressive and sexy”
hotdamnhunnam · 3 years
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Jax Teller: Fuck You Better
A/N: Hello loves!! I’m SO OBSESSED with the below request 😍 In which you tell your BFF Jax Teller that your vanilla sex life with your current fuckbuddy just isn’t fulfilling your needs any longer... and Jax offers to satisfy your hungers. Fuck you rougher—harder, better, faster, stronger 😏🔥
Pairing: Jax Teller x F!Reader Warnings: smut, swearing, dirty talk, rough sex Request: This AMAZING anon request
Word Count: ~2.1k
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“Jax... you really didn’t have to do that.”
“What? Kick your fuckbuddy’s butt?” your best friend ever, badass motherfucker Jax Teller, approaches you now with his signature smirk and his swaggering strut. Glances back over his shoulder at the loser you’re ashamed to call your lover. The poor guy is in pieces. It was supposed to be a pointless little brawl, here in the middle of a random SAMCRO shindig, but Jackie Boy is standing proud and tall, as if he just won the Olympics. Everyone’s cheering for the golden champion with his stupidly sexy blonde man bun.
Jax snickers back again at the opponent he just effortlessly vanquished. “He fights like a pussy ass bitch, to be honest. For your sake I really hope his dick hits better than his fists.”
“His dick is none of your business. And I won’t be getting any for a while now you’ve fucked him up like this,” you hiss, licking your lips, trying hard not to stare at the sweat on your BFF’s bare sculpted chest as it glistens and drips. Jax has just walked off from the scuffle without so much as a scratch; meanwhile your fuckboy was just owned out of his wits, clearly outmatched.
Jax brushes it off with a laugh, playfully slapping you on the back. “Look, he started the fight. Said I’d been checking you out all night.”
Yeah fucking right. You heave a sigh. “Why didn’t you just tell him he was wrong, then?”
“I’m a lot of things, Y/N. Liar ain’t one of ‘em,” he replies, leaning in toward you with a twisted little twinkle in his eyes.
He’s always been a shameless flirt—even with you, the girl he’s friend-zoned for forever. Though you know that he means nothing by the words, that doesn’t stop the wet hot fire he ignites between your thighs.
“That dress is way too short,” he mutters, as the fire in your cunt burns even hotter. “And way too tight. The whole damn world can see that pretty little ass of yours. But you already knew that, right? Like knowing every man here wants a piece of you tonight?”
Not every man, you wish you could snap back at Jax. Not the one I want. Before you can, some random slut comes up behind him and attacks, clingy hands clawing at his bulging biceps. “Hey there, champ. Can I get you cleaned up?”
“Sounds good, darlin’...” Jax readily accepts, turning toward you then. “Oh, one more thing—he said I could smack his girl’s ass if I win.”
“No he fucking didn’t...!” you attempt to protest, but then Jax slaps you through your dress and you let out a goddamn yelp. The slut inside you can’t be helped.
He grins back at you as he struts off with the skank that he’s going to fuck, clearly pleased with himself. And it feels like you’ve been run over by a truck. Being in love with your BFF Jax Fucking Teller is literal hell.
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***************
“Hey, can we talk?”
You have no clue what just possessed you to come up to Jax’s dorm room uninvited. But whatever just compelled you to burst through the door—conveniently unlocked—you couldn’t fight it. It was probably the thought of yet another undeserving whore devouring his gorgeous cock. You’ve never seen it, but it’s not as if you have to see, to know Jax has the world’s most perfect penis. With a face, a body like his? Honestly. There’s no denying this. It’s straight up fucking science.
Thankfully, you came up fast enough that Jax and his bitch haven’t yet taken their clothes off. The bitch blinks up at you, agape—appalled—like you just barged in on their wedding day. You just glare daggers back at her from where you’re standing in the doorway. Sure, it’s immature; you really have no beef with her, and this is not her fault. Of course she takes your unexpected presence as an insult. But you can’t be brought to care right now. You need to be alone with Jax, and if that requires cock-blocking her ass, then that’s how.
He meets your gaze, those baby blues fucking you up in countless ways, and you might cum just from the eye contact. You are a desperate whore for Jax and that’s a fact.
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“You should probably get out,” he tells the slut who’s straddling him in the bed. The poor girl can’t believe the words out of his mouth, but Jax said what he said. 
If there’s one good thing that comes of being his best friend, it’s that he treats you with a shitload of respect. Crow eaters mean nothing to him when you’re in the room. Then again, who the hell needs respect when you’d give it all up to become a dumpster for Jax Teller’s cum...?
With an indignant huff, the other woman grabs her stuff and storms out of his dorm, making sure to bump forcefully into your shoulder as she passes through the door. You really harbor no hard feelings for the poor unfortunate whore. Pity, for sure—must fucking suck to be her, being so suddenly deprived of a shot with Jax Teller. No doubt it would’ve been the best sex of her life, ever.
In any event, now that she’s left, you and your BFF are alone together.
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Jax gets up from the bed, lazily raking a hand through the lustrous blonde hair on his head. Well aware that he’s covered in sweat. “I should, uh—hit the shower...”
“Nah, it’s fine,” you tell him, stepping inside and locking the door. Why did you lock it? Fuck it.
What you don’t tell him is that he smells fucking divine. How is it even possible for anyone to smell like heaven, in the state that he’s in? His smooth flawless skin is so slick with his sweat that it shimmers and shines and might seriously strike you blind.
He stands across from you with his hands on his hips, white waistband of his boxers sticking up above his jeans, tongue flicking out between his lips. Those hands that drive you fucking wild in your dreams, that tongue you’d sell your soul to suck. “So you wanted to talk?”
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You clear your throat and bob your head in an attempt at a casual nod. Trying to come off as cool when you’re anything but. “Yeah, it’s just—I just wanted to vent, a little bit. About that thing you said... to be honest, fuckboy’s dick doesn’t hit better than his fists. The sex is always lame and plain vanilla and I’m sick of it. Even in bed, he’s a pussy ass bitch.”
Jax bites his lip, stifling back a silent laugh. Cleary quite glad—though not at all surprised—that he was right. “So he fucks the way he fights? Hey, so do I...”
You roll your eyes, playfully punching him in the side... which was a mistake because now you’ve made contact with his sweaty skin and it’s too much to take.
Needless to say, Jax takes the punch in stride. The smug smile on his face is miles wide. “Think it’s high time you dump his ass if he can’t keep you satisfied.”
Something about that fleeting skin-to-skin contact, and his closeness in this moment, and his maddening masculine scent, has you crazily pacing the room and saying all manner of shit that you’re doomed to regret. “And then what? Fuck around until another Son decides he wants to claim me as his own personal slut? It’s not like I can have the one I really want.”
You take a second to tune in to your own internal dialogue, currently scolding yourself for being so dumb—where the fuck are you going with this, you insane little cunt?
Jackson doesn’t seem to be having the same reaction. For unthinkable reasons, while standing there all godlike and glistening, he appears to be very sincerely listening. “You, um... got your eye on someone?”
“Always have,” you blurt out, and you really want to snap a goddamn bear trap over your moronic mouth.
Now Jax has you with your back up against the wall and you cannot think straight at all. Blonde hair and blue eyes and broad shoulders tower over you so tall. “Yeah? What’s he like?”
Oh, I don’t know, just look at your own beautiful reflection in my big wide stupid eyes. The thoughts you keep in silence are as stupid as your actual reply. “He has a really big... um... bike.”
The cheeky bastard laughs as if he knows you meant to talk about his dick. He probably did. But then again there’s something shy inside his eyes that makes it look as if he genuinely doesn’t know shit. “Now that’s not very specific. Come on, Y/N—just tell me who he is. You know there are no secrets between us.”
Yeah, sure, except the secret that I’m scientifically convinced of the perfection of your penis. Somehow you manage to take back some of your dignity right this instant, if only for a minute. “Mind your own motherfucking business.”
Jax is still doing that sincere listening thing and you quite honestly can’t handle it. He’s looking at you now as if you’re something breathtaking to witness. Just like he is. “Wow. You really like this guy, for serious.”
Heat rises to your face, insides melting to mush beneath his gaze. “That obvious?”
“You’re getting all worked up just thinking about him,” he notices, going on as if oblivious to the fact that it’s because he’s in the room. “He better be epic, whoever he is.”
Oh, you have no idea, Jax... “And why would you say that?”
Your brain physically breaks upon hearing the words he says next: “Because you’re fucking perfect. Deserve nothing less. You should be with the guy who can love you best. Fuck you best.”
Sweet mother of Jesus. What just even fucking happened? There’s a space between your lips and his, still—just a sliver, and it kills. The moment you give in to this your world is bound to end...
You know that much for certain; you and Jax tried going down this path just once before, so long ago that you’re determined to forget, the only moment of your friendship you regret. It’s never just a kiss. It’s always more, always a risk, of losing him. Of losing this. And you can’t let it happen again.
You’re fucking trembling, heartbeat fighting, but you have to say the right thing. Even if it hurts you more than anything. “Christ, Jax—‘fucking perfect’? You really mean that? As a... as a friend?”
The word weighs heavy on your tongue. No word has ever felt so wrong, but there it is, and he can taste the bitter heartbreak off your lips. Bites his and shakes his head. “Yeah, I guess. Just being honest. BFFs, what else?”
Love is literal hell.
And just like that, in a split instant, all the reasons he had so sincerely listened, anything that he had felt... is fucking gone. Or so he can pretend, at least. He always fakes it well, hiding behind the image of the savage sexy beast. “So what, we done?” he snaps, swiping his hand through his disheveled hair and casting you a cold blue stare. “I was about to get my dick wet, till you came up to complain about how your pussy ass fuckboy sucks in bed.”
You deal his chest a harder-than-just-playful punch because you seriously hate him just that much. “God, you don’t have to be a dick about it. Honestly, Jax, do you give a shit about anything other than sex?”
“Can’t live without it. Dick ain’t gonna suck itself.”
At this point the words are just flying all over the room. Nothing even makes sense. “Ugh—you know what, that’s the difference between you and him. You and everyone else.”
“What? That I fucking win?”
“That’s what you like to think. That you’re some kind of motherfucking king. Strutting around like you’re the god of everything.”
“Maybe I am. Takes balls to be the fucking champ.”
“Yeah, well, your balls can kiss my ass.”
... Oh fucking shit. Those words may have been just a little too... accurate. Now there’s an image in your head, a vivid image, and it’s... pretty fucking graphic. Pornographic. Fucking magic.
And of course Jax has to say the words to match it. “Bet you’d like that. Wouldn’t you, bitch.”
... Oh. Fucking. Shit.
***************
... Continued in Part 2!
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theladyofdeath · 4 years
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The Ranch {8}
An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.
Collaboration: @throne-of-ashes-and-beauty​ x @tacmc​
Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.
Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.
A/N: We love that you guys have been loving this so much! Please continue to let us know what you’re thinking. We loved writing this fic, and your love means the world to us. 
The Ranch Masterlist
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Cassian didn’t see or hear from Nesta for the rest of the day. He saw her in the main house around dinner time, but decided he would let her cook in peace. He didn’t know what kind of demons had reared their ugly heads at her today, but whatever had happened between Nesta and Tomas Motherfucking Mandray had screwed with her so badly that he barely recognized the woman he found in the paint department today.
He remembered Nesta from high school, had known that she had dated Tomas then. But, he didn’t know much. At least, not about Nesta. As for Tomas, however, he and Cassian went way back, and none of their interactions had ever been pleasant. Tomas had always been a self-absorbed little bitch. He hated Tomas.
And he had hated him even more when he walked into the paint aisle and saw how fucking terrified Nesta had been.
Yet, he wasn’t going to push her to talk about it. She would come to him when she was ready. Maybe. Hopefully. Either way, Cassian had convinced himself that it was none of his business. 
Even if he really, really wanted it to be his business. 
As night approached, Cassian made sure all the horses were ready for bed, and all the cattle were where they were meant to be. He whistled for Beau to follow him into the cabin and, the good pup he was, Beau obeyed. Once inside, he slumped into the recliner and checked his phone.
There was a text from Rhys that read, Being engaged is fucking awesome. It ended with three flame emojis. Cassian found the text as a whole repulsive and unnecessary.
There was a text from Azriel, too, that read, Drinks on Friday? Elain is working all night.
Cassian dismissed it, making a mental note to reply in the morning.
Then, he had one last text.
From Nesta.
Thanks for today. Sorry I spaced out.
He read the text once, twice, three times before finding the nerve to reply. Anytime, he wrote. He wanted to write something else, anything else, wanted to add a fucking speech at the end of the one-worded text, but he decided against it.
He pressed send.
It wasn’t two minutes later that he got a reply. You should be sleeping. You’ll have to wake up early to get on the stables, won’t you?
Cassian chuckled to himself. Maybe. But you have to be up early to do your makeup before you finish the landscaping, he replied.
Her reply wasn’t as quick this time, the dancing dots disappearing every so often. But when his phone finally vibrated while he was brushing his teeth, he laughed out loud.
Don’t act like it takes me more time to do my hair than it takes you to do yours. Don’t think I haven’t noticed those man buns are a little TOO perfect sometimes.
He replied with no hesitation. Glad to know you’re looking at my man buns.
He swore that he could feel her eyes roll from across the property. Goodnight, Sexy Ranch Hand.
Goodnight, beautiful.
He sent the text, hoping it would bring her a little bit of joy, a little bit of comfort, but then, when she didn’t reply, he grew nervous.
He felt he was walking a fine line with Nesta, ever since she scolded him for being his boss.
His hesitation didn’t last too long, though, because his phone vibrated the minute he climbed into his bed. The text was short, but it gave him comfort.
A smiley face emoji greeted him as Beau climbed up on the bed beside him.
He slept good that night, smiling stupidly to himself as he snuggled up next to Beau. And when morning came, he felt completely refreshed.
He was up and getting dressed with a cup of coffee at four, and as sunrise approached, Cassian grabbed a bag by the door and he and Beau were walking out into the cool, muggy summer morning. It wouldn’t be long until the sun was beating down, drenching him in sweat.
Instead of heading toward the stables, Cassian went across the grass and the gravel driveway, and up the steps of the tiny, modern house that sat there. 
He pounded on the door and Beau stayed in the yard, chasing his tail. 
No answer.
He pounded his fist on the wood once more.
Nothing.
With a sigh, Cassian kept knocking, and didn’t stop. He pounded repeatedly on the door for at least thirty seconds when the door was thrown open, and Nesta stood there, looking like she wanted to set him on fire.
“What the hell?” She asked, voice raspy, hair a mess, body wrapped in a crocheted blanket. 
“Rise and shine,” Cassian grinned. “Go on. Get dressed.”
Her eyes narrowed as she flipped on the porch light. Cassian lit up as she groaned from the brightness of it.
“You wanted to learn how things are done around here,” Cassian laughed. “Well, I start at sunrise, ever day.”
Nesta rubbed her eyes and snorted. “Unless you’re hungover.”
Cassian grinned. “Fair enough. Alright, go on, get dressed, I’ll wait.”
Nesta sighed but didn’t protest as she took a step back. 
“Oh,” Cassian said, before she could close the door on him. “Here.”
He held out the bag.
She blinked. “What is that?”
“I kept telling you,” he said, shaking the bag until she took it. “You own a ranch. You need a pair of boots.”
“You...bought me boots?”
Cassian shrugged as she took the bag and shoved his hands into his pockets. “With your sisters’ help. Consider it your welcome home gift.”
Nesta was speechless as she slowly went back into her little house.
She didn’t bother closing the door, so Cassian stepped inside as she went back into her bedroom.
He looked around, although there wasn’t much inside. He noticed Elain’s old furniture, that he had helped move in upon Nesta’s arrival.
“Hopefully they fit,” Cassian said as he went to the little fridge in the kitchen and looked at the pictures that covered it. “I may have snuck a glance at your sneakers the other day when you weren’t looking to check for size.”
Nesta’s quiet laughter flooded through the hall. “Creep.”
Cassian grinned to himself as he studied a picture of the girls when they were young, smiling with their mother. Cassian had never met her. She died years before Isaac had hired him.
Nesta came out a minute later, and even in the dim lamplight, Cassian was breathless.
Her hair was pulled back in a high point tail. She wore jeans, a tank top, and an old flannel shirt, which remained open.
And her boots, which fit nicely.
“Okay, stop staring,” Nesta muttered. “I realize you’ve never seen me in boots and it’s shocking.”
Cassian cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck as he nodded. “They look nice.”
Nesta rolled her eyes and her boots thumped toward the front door. “Yeah, yeah. Alright, let’s do this.”
Cassian allowed himself to watch her walk out the door and down the steps before he followed her out.
————
“Harder.”
Cassian grunted.
“Harder.”
He groaned, but did as he was told.
“Harder!”
Cassian was out of breath, but he said, “This is as hard as it gets, I don’t know what else you want from me.”
Nesta gritted her teeth, but still managed to roll her eyes. “I want you to try harder.”
He grunted and said, “Okay, okay, put it down. Stop pushing.”
They both moved away from the enormous roll of hay they’d been trying to roll through the south pasture. It had rained overnight, nearly doubling the weight of the hay and Cassian had suspected he needed a little more muscle than what Nesta had to offer.
“I’ll have to call Rhys,” Cassian said, lifting the hem of his shirt to wipe his brow. Nesta was folded at the waist, her hands braced on her knees.
“No, we can-.” She stopped to breathe. “We can do it. We got this”
He chuckled, “Nes, that hay weighs over 5 times your weight. We absolutely do not got this.”
Her lips tightened as she sized up the roll of hay. “We-.”
“Nesta,” Cassian breathed, laughing quietly. “It’s not a big deal. Your ability to move a roll of hay doesn’t dictate your ability to run a ranch. Well, own it, I run it.”
Nesta couldn’t help the smile that tugged on the corner of her mouth. “You’re incredibly annoying.”
“I know,” he grinned, wiping his face with the hem of his shirt, once more. Nesta’s eyes lingered a little bit too long on his abdomen, just above the waistband of his jeans, which were hanging loosely on his hips. He didn’t seem to notice as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a text to Rhys. “Rhys will be over soon, I’m sure, he has the day off. Unless your sister kept him up all night.”
Nesta scrunched her nose. “No need to reference my sister’s sex life.” 
Cassian’s grin widened as he put his phone back into his pocket. “You wanna go for a ride?”
Nesta stilled, and her hesitation made him howl.
“I meant on a horse, Nesta,” he said, unable to control his laughter. “Calm down.”
“Asshole,” she mumbled. Her cheeks were red, both from the sun they’d been in all day and the blush now tipping her ears as well. She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “I don’t have a horse. I’m okay.”
Cassian had an eyebrow raised. “You actually have eight.”
“I have-.” Nesta paused. “Oh. You’re right.”
 But not Phoenix.
“Hey.” Cassian’s voice was soft and she looked up, not expecting him to be so close. His hazel eyes were the color of the forest floor. As if he could read her thoughts, he said, “You’ll never be able to replace him, Nes. You’ll never get back that bond with him. But that doesn’t mean you can’t build another bond with another horse.”
He was right, of course, but she hadn’t been on a horse in nearly a decade. The thought alone terrified her. Yes, she was beginning not to mind being back in Velaris, had even started enjoying herself while working on the B&B, but to ride again? She wasn’t sure if she was ready for such a huge step.
And it was.
A massive step.
Yet, Cassian’s eyes were so full of hope, and the way they watched her, so softly, Nesta couldn’t say no.
Didn’t want to say no.
“Okay,”  she breathed. “Fine.”
Cassian slowly shook his head. “I need to hear you say it with a little more enthusiasm.”
Nesta pursed her lips and shoved him in the shoulder, which only made his cocky ass grin return.
“Come on,” she said, heading in the direction of the dilapidated stalls the horses stayed in. She walked about twenty feet before she realized he wasn’t walking with her. “What?”
Cassian chuckled. “You really were tired this morning, weren’t you?”
Nesta blinked. “You banged on my door at, like, three in the morning. Of course I was tired.”
“Okay, first of all, it was four thirty,” he said, laughing. “Second, follow me.”
Nesta wasn’t sure exactly how she’d missed it. He was right, she must have been half asleep to miss the framework nestled back into the trees between their two houses.
But this was not the basic stable and tack room she’d described to him. 
No, this building was going to be massive.
“There are going to be sixteen stalls,” Cassian said, sticking his hands in his pockets. “The tack room is going to be on that side,” he indicated to the right. “And the lodge, will be to the left.”
“The lodge?” Nesta asked, turning to look at him. “Figured it might be nice to have a little getaway out here. If you don’t like it, I can scrap it from the plans, make this a second tack room or storage area.”
But Nesta wasn’t listening, she’d turned back to the massive framework of beams in front of her.
She breathed, “Cassian, it’s perfect.”
He scratched at the back of his neck. “It’s going to take me a while to finish-.”
“Tell me what you need and it’s yours.” There was no hesitation to her words. “We can even hire someone to help, if you want.”
Cassian chuckled, softly. “That’s okay. I got it. If I need help, I’ll ask Rhys and Az. They’ll be more than happy to help when they can.” 
“I can’t believe you…” Nesta shook her head, and looked at him. “Put so much thought into it.” 
He shrugged. “You asked for updated stables. I just did what I’m told.”
“You really do love this place, don’t you?” Nesta asked quietly.
“Yeah,” Cassian said, meeting her gaze. “I had a bad reputation, from a lot of stupid shit I did when I was younger. Your dad really took a chance on hiring me, but I’m grateful every day that he did. He gave me a sense of purpose, when I thought I didn’t have one.”
Nesta nodded, slowly, and did not back down from his gaze as she said, “I’m grateful, too. That you’re here. I’d be completely lost without you.”
Cassian’s eyes softened, and she thought he was going to say something sweet, but then he said, “Yeah...all the other ranchers in this town aren’t as sexy as me, so, you really did luck out.”
“Oh, cauldron boil me,” Nesta groaned and Cassian put his arm around her shoulder and steered her towards the house, towards the shed where the saddles and other tack was kept.
“Ahhh, I didn’t want it to get too sappy.” He said, grinning down at her. “But now, we’re gonna see if you’re really worth your salt on this ranch.” He stopped in front of the shed and unlocked the padlock.
“And what exactly does that mean?” Nesta asked, not so subtly watching the way his back muscles moved under the blue t-shirt he wore.
He turned and Nesta cleared her throat and looked at him. He had a lead rope in his hand.
“Time to go catch you a horse, Nesta Archeron.”
——————
As the sun was setting, Nesta and Cassian walked back from the pasture, laughing.
“I had no idea that you were the one that released the dissection frogs!” Nesta said, locking the gate behind them. “Was it in protest of animal cruelty or something?”
Cassian thought for a second. “No, but if I had gotten caught, that probably would have been a better excuse than the one I would have gone with.”
Nesta chuckled. “Which was?”
He smirked and said, “Because I got bored.”
Nesta froze and watched him walk the rest of the way to the shed. “You let over four hundred frogs loose because you were bored?”
He put the ropes back in their place and locked the shed up. “Yup.” The grin on his face told her he, indeed, was proud of himself. And she was grinning, too.
Before she could stop herself, she asked, “Do you want to come have dinner with me?”
Cassian’s eyebrows raised. “Tonight?”
“Tonight, tomorrow night, whenever.” She shrugged, trying to play it off as a casual offer, and not that asking had filled her stomach with butterflies as strongly as it had when she had her first kiss. “We can meet for dinner in the main house every night. There’s no need for us to both cook.”
His smile returned, but it was softer. “I’d like that.”
They headed back around the front of the house, Cassian rattling off his favorite foods, most of which consisted of red meat and starches. When they came around the corner, Nesta froze.
Cassian’s words trailed off as he stopped beside her. A little black truck had pulled up, old and rusty. But the girl that came out of that little, rusty truck was stunning.
Nesta looked over at Cassian, to see if he recognized the young woman.
And, oh, he definitely did.
“Emerie,” he said, uncomfortably, clearing his throat. “What are you doing here?”
“Thought I’d come by to say hello,” she crooned, grin wide. Then, she seemed to notice Nesta for the first time. “Oh. Who are you?”
Nesta blinked, then realized she was being spoken to. “I own this property.”
“Oh,” she breathed, eyes growing wide with recognition. “Your Isaac’s oldest? Wow.” She looked Nesta up and down, and the gesture had Nesta seeing red. “Well, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Emerie.”
“I’ve heard,” Nesta muttered.
Cassian was fiddling with the hem of his shirt when he said, “You know, we’re a little busy, Em, why don’t you come back later?”
“Later works,” she said, sliding her hands in her back pockets. “I was going to see if you wanted to have dinner, too, but it seems like you’re...taken care of.”
Cassian cleared his throat and said, “Nesta and I were just-.”
“Just finishing up for the day,” Nesta interrupted. She turned to Cassian and the warm, playful nature he’d seen emerging earlier had gone cold. “Thanks for showing me the ropes. I really appreciate it.” She began up the porch steps and Cassian reached for her hand. He gently gripped her fingers.
“Nesta, wait, let me explain. It’s-,” he dragged his hand down his face, the callouses catching on his stubble. “It’s not what it looks like.”
“I fell for that once before,” she whispered, her fingers tightening in his. “I won’t fall for it again.”
A look of confusion crossed Cassian's face, but his hand dropped. Emerie had gotten the hint, had gotten back up into her truck and was backing out.
“Are you jealous?” He asked, and it was almost anger that replaced the spark in his hazel eyes. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
“I’m not jealous,” Nesta snapped. “But it’s really inappropriate-“
“If you say that word one more time, Nesta, I swear on the fucking cauldron-.” Cassian’s words faded away and he raked his fingers through his long, tangled hair. “Must I remind you that you didn’t want me?”
There it was.
The words hung between them as complete silence consumed them, Emerie’s old truck driving away the only thing to be heard.
Nesta stared down at him, hurt written plainly across her face.
Hurt.
He had expected her to be jealous of Emerie, but he didn’t expect to see pain roiling in the depths of her eyes.
“Nesta, I-.”
She cut him off. “Did you lie to me?”
He blinked up at her, the sunset making her hair glow. “What?”
“That night, I asked you point blank if you had a girlfriend,” Nesta said, voice wavering. “You said no.”
“No,” Cassian said, eyes growing hard. “I have never lied to you, Nesta, I’m not a fucking liar. Emerie’s just a friend. She comes by every now and then. I haven’t seen her in months. She only comes by when she wants something.”
“Sex?” Nesta asked, before she could stop the word from tumbling out of her mouth. 
Cassian shook his head, ignoring the short question altogether. “It doesn’t fucking matter. But, I’ve never lied to you. And, if you think I would lie to you….fuck.”
She could see the anger brewing inside of him, could see the frustration, but Nesta didn’t care, because she was pissed. And yet, she had no reason to be. He was right. She had turned him down. She had no right to care. 
She was hurt, though.
And that hurt grew when she saw the hurt, saw the anguish, in his own eyes.
“I didn’t lie,” he repeated, looking away from her, out toward the pastures. “I’m a lot of things, Nesta, but I’m not a liar.”
She knew he wasn’t, knew it in every fiber of her being.
She hadn’t even been back in Velaris for a month, had just started to open up to the complicated man in front of her. Day and night, he always found a way to creep into her thoughts, into her dreams. But she couldn’t afford to be vulnerable, couldn’t afford to get tangled up with the man she couldn’t get off of her mind, no matter what she may want.
Not when her father's dream was on the line.
So Nesta closed her eyes, trying to hide the tears that has silently started slipping down her cheeks.
She turned her back to him, and hurried up the stairs of the main house.
Cassian was calling her name, but she forced herself to keep walking, to open the door, enter the house, shut herself inside.
She leaned against the slab of wood, stayed their as her eyes filled with tears, even as Cassian knocked on the other side.
“Nesta,” he said, voice calm, quiet, broken. “Hey, open up, come on.” He knocked again.
Nesta didn’t move.
She stayed there, leaning against the door, listening to him knock, listening to him beg.
But no matter what he said, Nesta didn’t open the door.
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i-need-air · 4 years
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Bakugou Katsuki x F!Reader – Man on a mission.
Summary: Reader is an exchange student at UA, althought she could only stay one year. This is the journey and separation. What would Bakugou do once he realizes the girl he loves leaves? Could be angsty, but I promise a happy ending. 
Word count: ~3k.
When they first met neither of them cared about each other. The girl, too focused in eating the world and showing everyone her worth, barely gave him a glance the first day of school. Having transferred from the most prestigious American School for the year, working so, so hard to get there through a scholarship, [Y/N] was ready to kick ass, take names, get mediocre grades in Japanese History and get the attention of the top heroes of the world for her next internship. So, they just didn't care about each other.
But over time, as she got close to people in the 2-A class, even 2-B, her attitude and determination caught his attention. At first the girl pissed him off, being just an extra that will disappear in a year and will never see again, yet why was he staring so much? How come his eyes followed her figure as she walked away with Round-Face? How come he focused his attention on her too adorable giggle as dumbass Kaminari tried and failed miserably to flirt with her. And how come his friend pissed him off when he did that anyway? Oh, and let's not talk about how he never ever looked at her train, obviously not admiring her moves, her quirk, that look in her eyes. How he tried so fucking hard to not smile when she messed up a Japanese word and asked anyone around her how to pronounce it, giving no shits and only caring about getting better. He definitely didn't care about how she complimented his food that one time and Bakugou, the snake that he is, somehow manipulated Mina into convincing [Y/N] to cook with them, neither girls noticing him puppeteering the whole situation. So the [h/c] girl ended being part of the Bakusquad in record time, cooking and studying started to be a norm to do together. He didn't care that he got a whole zoo on crack in his stomach as she taught him how to cook food from her home-country or how good she smelled when she leaned closer to his frame, both sitting in his room, books spread around them as she questioned something about grammar. He definitely didn't lose his breath when she casually asked him if she could call him Katsuki, earning a grunt and a Do what you want. from the boy, ears flushed.
But Bakugou was hesitant. Of course he was, she was going to leave at the end of the year yet after the first internships started he realized that he's gonna miss that giggle. Her everything actually. And maybe they'll never see each other again. The boy had his own goals, he wanted to reach number one, he wanted to be the best. Was she a distraction? Because he never considered her one, daring to say he's more driven now... Was it a stretch to consider her made for him? Because that's what he thought all the time and these feelings were eating him alive. In a cool manner, he still had to maintain his reputation, excuse you.
[Y/N] [L/N] had a crush. A big crush on a rather abrasive young man. The moment she realized an overwhelming feeling engulfed her, taking away the very needed sleep as the following day she'd intern with the Hawks. Yet getting zero sleep that night, reality slapped her so hard she didn't even feel fatigue for 36 hours afterwards.
Bakugou Katsuki stole her heart and it was doomed for heartbreak. So separation and moving on was the plan.
Although it seemed like something went over her head. She fell in love with a stubborn motherfucker, yet neither of them knew at the time the lengths he'd go just to be together.
After some time of avoiding each other everything felt wrong. Studying wasn't the same, food didn't taste as good as before when she wasn't half moaning half praising his efforts, her cute way of pronouncing things actually turned into a good accent and even if a time came for the girl to ask for correction, [Y/N] decided to ask anyone else but him. Both were getting stronger separately, finding other training partners and things started to slowly go back to what it was at the beginning of the year, leaving a sour taste in Bakugou's mouth. How come she stole his heart? And how come now she was breaking it without noticing?
And here they were, together sitting outside their living quarters, just staring at the darkening skies, both lost in thought. Once strangers turned into friends and now back at the beginning. Yet the air was calm as it always was between them, like old friends meeting after years of not seeing each other even when they met every day.
"I'm gonna miss this place..." she muttered, gulping down the uneasiness rising in her throat. One more month and she'd leave. One more month and whatever they had would be erased forever. "I'm gonna miss you..." she whispered, deciding it was the time to take this burden off her chest once and for all. For herself, her well being, to explain her shitty attitude although his wasn't better. "I'm... I'm gonna miss your stupid face..." came out in another whisper, lips trembling as she avoided his eyes but when she heard a broken chuckle, strained and forced, her eyes snapped towards him.
His palm was covering his eyes, heart in his throat, not believing that everything lead to this moment.
"You spent too much time with me, dumbass." she blinked stupidity, precious orbs watching him carefully not even trying to hide the shine of tears appearing. "You sound like me now." she chucked too, bitter and quiet.
"I didn't spent enough time..."
And everything just turned back to what they had. As when they were alone in one of their rooms, sharing stories, watching movies, listening to music, each doing their own thing in harmony. So they talked, curfew approaching rapidly but there were many things unsaid. There was no clear confession but her little moment of truth opened a door that has been closed for both of them for a long time now. Actually... Not only the door, all the windows and doors were now wide opened, barricades and walls demolished down and everything flowed naturally. Who would've thought? Katsuki told himself while walking her to her door. He was soft, he has forgiven her in an instant for all the zig-zagging around him, feeling relieved since he felt guilt for doing the same. The stupid dancing around somehow ended when they reached her room, silence filling the air.
"You're a dumbass..." he said yet didn't know if it was thrown to [Y/N] or to himself. The rich laugh earned from her made him smirk. God, how much he missed it.
"You're the one to talk?" she pushed his shoulder gently, yet for the love of god, none knew what the fuck this conversation was really about. Before she could retreat the hand thought, he grabbed it, palms sweaty, fingers surprisingly gentle.
"[Y/N]." he responded, that zoo on crack in his stomach seemed to take life again. They didn't have much time anymore.
No verbal confession was made that night, both scared, terrified of voicing out anything that would instantly throw them back towards their concerns. Yet the sweet, slow kiss they shared got imprinted in their memories forever.
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Her third year passed rather quickly, yet this time she was more glued to the phone. Many of her old friends noticed, inquiring who was the boy that she was talking to so much, all in teasing manner, none noticing how her lips would flatten and her expression fell for one second before answering back in a similarly teasing way too. Training, studying, going out with friends but never looking at another guy the way she looked at Bakugou Katsuki. Time flew while they both found a way to stay in touch, as limited as it was through the time zones and goals they individually had to reach.
Memories of their last month reconnecting and stepping up into a new world together, almost together but not official, sneaky kisses stolen from time to time, teasing each other but always with a hint of uncertainty, hugs that lasted a little bit too much yet none caring, cuddles and whispers when alone. But nothing else. Oh, how she regretted it. Not kissing him harder, not hugging him longer. Not telling him clearly that she loved him. Not crying when they parted ways because she sure as hell felt like doing so. They only promised to stay in touch when finally getting a time alone on that last fateful day. Being surrounded by her new friends crying around her, saying their goodbyes and promises of meeting somehow someday. That's when he snatched her for their final time alone. That's when she told him to not forget about them, yet again, never addressing their feelings. And he grunted at her, stoic, constipated looking, a face she'd normally make fun of if it weren't for the gravity of the situation.
But they messaged at odd times, they'd create inside jokes and they'd talk on the phone, his voice always doing things to her.
"I've seen the fight, you were amazing!" she said while carefully picking his face in the voice call, re-learning his expressions, remembering caressing the same cheekbones that now were bruised after a big fight in his internship with Endeavor that could all be seen online.
"Course I was, woman." he said, small yet boyish grin on his face. [Y/N] wanted to laugh, tease and be normal around him in this limited time together but Jirou's words stopped her.
"It's insane. The Bakugou Katsuki has a fan-base now! Like... Girls confess to him every week, he gets love letters! Kirishima makes fun of him but we all know he's jealous–"
Keeping in contact with the people from UA was a blessing and a curse, the latter because of those words. He changed so much, people were starting to see him for what he really was and a selfish voice inside of her was screaming that only her could know this side of him. And at the same time feeling she'd never deserve him.
Without being able to bite her tongue, she inquired.
"So I heard you have fangirls now." bright smile way too shiny, her discomfort was so obvious even through the screen.
"Hah?" was his only answer, leaning closer to his Webcam with a frown.
"A little birdie told me." she shrugged, playing it cool, perfectly knowing she'd never be able to play anything cool to save her life.
"And who gives a shit 'bout that?" I do... almost was her reply. But no, she had to squeeze her own heart and milk the pain out of it.
"I mean, haven't you thought about it?"
"Think about what?" he rasped rather angrily.
"You know, having a girlfriend and so on...?"
"What...?" his disbelief clear on his face, suddenly morphing into anger, now clear and raw. "What the fuck are you even saying, [Y/N]!?" he shouted, breathing heavily. "Are you trying to tell me somethin'? Cuz if you are, you better say it clearly!"
"I–" I'm jealous, you deserve someone by your side, I love you. Please, don't look at someone else. Please, don't kiss someone else... Please, be mine.
"Yano what, I'm done for today, fuck off, will ya?" and with a growl, he finished the call.
The promise she made herself about not crying was slowly breaking, her reflection in the now dark computer screen showing her idiotic self about to burst in tears but she clearly didn't reach that point when an incoming call interrupted her self pity.
"Like fucking shit I'd let go of what we have, dumb woman." is all she needed to hear that day and she did.
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"So it seems I need to work a year in America before I could have a contract with any other Hero Agency. Hawks made it clear that he wants me back as his side-kick with Tokoyami but..." It hurt, stupid laws and contracts and scholarships and feelings. Stupid life and stupid everything.
"Only a year, huh?" he said on the other side of the line.
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Looking for a roommate was tough. Wanting to put an ease on her rent and to save money for a future she was starting to see more clearly, the woman had some interviews with some potential roomies but none were convincing. Maybe she was picky, but she got this apartment first, picked the best room and her landlady gave her full permission to pick anyone for her. Which was a blessing, really.
So the cat girl with 4 cats was an option. The guy that eyed her a little bit too much was out of the equation. There was another guy scheduled to come see the apartment that afternoon and, the best part, she was getting a package from Katsuki. He offered, actually. Said something about new house gift, brushing it off casually with his trademark snide remark about how he'd send her some cleaning shit. What an asshole, but hell, even if he did send her cleaning products, she'd cry out of happiness.
The guy talked to her through messages, asking basic questions and nothing more. Time to give another tour and talk about rent was coming yet she silently decided to give this guy a nice brief chat, throw him out and look for a girl roommate, even if Bakugou said it didn't matter and should interview both. "You know, to get it over with." little voice still screaming she'd mind if he had a woman as a roomie, but then again, they were nothing...
As 3 P.M. approached, she got a message.
From [Random dude #2 David]:
"I'll be late, hope you don't mind."
Of fucking course he was going to be late. The first impression? Annoying. What if she had things to do? Like wait for a package and then call Katsuki to open it with him there. Random David was pissing her off already.
Half an hour later the doorbell interrupted her thoughts as she stared blankly at her phone. The last messages she sent her... friend didn't actually reach him. And it's been 10 hours? Maybe he was called on a mission. But already? Endeavor surely didn't waste time, huh?
With a sigh she opened the door, ready to greet Random David when her eyes landed on a suitcase in front of her door. Her ears perked at the sound of another suitcase rolling towards her door, basically making her freak out because Random David was definitely not going to live with her now. And slowly, a guy came in her field of vision and the world stopped functioning.
Bakugou Katsuki, with a box over one of his shoulders and as she guessed, another suitcase in hand, reached her door, elevator ding snapping her out of her... uh... dream? Fantasy? Back shirt, dark jeans, messy hair and The Look™ he always had for her.
"Well, I'm here to look at the apartment." he grinned, about to burst into an ugly laughter at her dumb face. Everything until this point was worth it because that face? That face was all he needed. Yeah, the dumb mouth opening and closing, eyes big as plates, frozen in place.
"If you..." she muttered. "If you fucking tell me you're David, I will end you..."
"Ya better not call me that, woman." he said, taking a step towards her, putting the baggages down.
"Are you really here...?"
"What does it look like, huh? Now let me in, I need to sit down, I fucking hate long flights."
Rushing him in, hands trembling, words stuttering, [Y/N] [L/N] was in awe at the man in front of her. She knew, she definitely knew he was absolutely amused by her reaction but there was no helping it.
"You're here..." pulling him inside by his hand, it was so warm, just as always. "Holy shit, you're here."
"Aha, but don't get used to it, woman." he said, leaving the suitcases behind him, arms just wrapping loosely around her waist.
"Huh?" he touched her face, the scent of nitroglycerin invading her nostrils. Same scent she missed so much in the past year.
"Only for a year, then I'm taking you back home with me, understood?"
Although she didn't reply, she couldn't, as she only pulled the collar of his shirt towards her, ready to make up for all the time they threw away. So their lips met and their new life started.
Endeavor worked closely with various hero agencies in America and Bakugou Katsuki asked to be sent there for a year, or more so demanded, leaving the older man speechless. Yet with a single word from Shouto, everything was set running and Bakugou knew he'd have yo return the favor to Icy-Hot someday, but for now she was all that mattered. So when he helped her apartment hunt (even long distance), when he told her to look into this or that Hero agencies (knowing they'd work close to his), when he'd tell her to not mind male roommates (even if he minded, he minded very much), it was all towards the surprise for her.
Bakugou Katsuki was a man on a mission and he realized that in his third year at UA. He was going to be number one. He was going to be the best hero ever. And he was going to have [Y/N] by his side. Always.
Notes: I'm leaving this here since idk man, I had too much coffee and wrote this without blinking. Correlation with the notes? Don't question it. Anyway!! Pretty please, tell me what you thought of it and if anyone here knows how to add the Read More mark on phone, I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd explained me how. I'm way too old for this, I swear, lmfao. Thank you for reading, seriously. Hope you enjoyed and have a great day! ♥
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Allegiances: Chapter 11
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 |Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 12
Series is rated M
Word Count: 3420
Clementine owes them an explaination.
Read it on Ao3!
Read it on Wattpad!
Clementine’s back felt stiff as she shifted in her seat. She looked around through blurred vision, trying to determine her surroundings as she slowly regained her senses.
Where am I?
A single window cast rays of the early morning sun across the basement, reflecting against the aged metal pipes. Memories of the previous night’s events flashed before her eyes as the girl shot upright. Her body ached in protest at the sharp movement and her limbs refused to move an inch from where she sat. Clementine struggled against the tape that tightly bound her arms and legs to the desk chair. Her efforts were in vain as the old wooden chair rocked from side to side yet refused to break.
“That ain’t gonna work.” A familiar gravely voice echoed through the dim basement.
Clem felt her blood ran cold as she noticed Abel on the other side of the room, restrained similarly to herself. A small puddle of blood stained the floor below his twisted leg, his pant leg drenched in the long-dried liquid. He flashed a crooked grin at her through his somewhat laboured breathing, clearly still in pain.
Clementine was too disgusted with the fact that he was still alive to find the words to express it. Ignoring him, she continued to pull at the tape. It’s sticky grip refused to release her as she pulled and wiggled, only continuing to exhaust herself.
A low growl sounded over the ruckus she had made. She swung her curls out of her face as she turned back to see the school’s guard dog eyeing her from next to the boiler. Rosie’s chain scratched against the concrete floor as she shifted around.
Clementine froze as she made eye contact with the canine. Abel’s laugh made her stomach turn as it sunk in how fucked she probably was.
“Even if you got out of that chair you’d never make it past the mutt.” He chuckled.
“Guess that means you’re stuck here with my ugly face.”
“Fuck off.” She said weakly, defeat continuing to wash over her as she slumped back. Her body was terribly stiff and sore and not being able to stretch out made it a whole lot worse.
“Aw, c’mon, don’t be like that.” He teased.
“Maybe this could be a chance for a little… heart-to-heart chat.”
The way he looked at her made her skin crawl. The look in his different coloured eyes always made him look as if he had some kind of ulterior motive than what he claimed.
“Don’t… Don’t fucking say anything.” Clem could make as many demands as she wanted, but it wasn’t like there was anything she could do to stop him.
“Oh, but I got a lot to say to you, sunshine.” He smirked, watching her cringe at the nickname.
“Like about that shit you pulled that got us into this mess. I’d say I got a few burning questions for you.”
“I’ve got nothing to say to you, you son of a bitch.” She growled, wanting nothing more than to slink into the shadows. Anywhere where he couldn’t see her. The feeling of his eyes on her made her skin burn as if he was touching her without being near. A simple glance made her feel disgusting and small and even though they both sat restrained, the feeling of vulnerability swirled inside of her.
“I’m just wondering what made you finally snap and abandon us like that.” He spoke accusingly as if she was the villain here.
Clementine dug her nails into her palms, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to ignore him.
“We kept you and your boy warm and fed for the last couple years. All we asked in return was for you to help defend our home.” He worded it as if any of this was a choice for her.
“And now? Yonatan is dead, we are hostages, and that little brat of yours is going to experience a whole new world of hell.”
She grit her teeth hard, biting back any reaction. Clem wanted to scream, attack him, claw those horrible eyes out of his skull.
Just stop looking at me.
“I told Lilly there was something going on with you, but I’ll be damned if she ever listens to me.” He shook his head.
“Although I expected some resistance from you, I didn’t think you’d turn these little shits into an army of your own.”
“Fuck you.”
“You gave up on that kid, huh? Took longer than I thought it would.” His accusation burned in her chest.
“A shame, really. So many people died for him to live and you’re just going to quit on him?”
“Shut the fuck up!” Clementine began to raise her voice. He was wrong. He didn’t know her at all. This was all to save him. She could still save AJ… right?
“You abandoned him for your little boyfriend, didn’t you?” His sickening smile only widened when Clementine shot upright in response.
“You seemed to have a favourite when you told us about them. Makes ya wonder.”
“I didn’t abandon AJ!” She yelled, lunging forward. The chair squeaked against the rough floor as it skidded forward a few inches. Her body seethed with anger.
“I’m going to get him back if I have to kill every one of you motherfuckers.”
“Maybe you won’t have to.” Abel intrigued.
What?
“You might still be able to fix this.” His words reeked of bullshit to Clem.
“Lilly ain’t quick to get rid of someone as useful as you. Keep your mouth shut and play along and you and your boy might get out in one piece.”
“Go to hell, Abel.” Clementine spit.
“I’ll see you there, then.”
The double doors that lead to the yard swung open with an ear-piercing squeak, flooding the rows of shelves with sunlight. The light interrupted by the silhouettes of two people entering the basement. They spoke low, one seeming more hesitant to approach than the other.
“Just give me a second.” She heard Louis speak, the shadows obscuring his face from her view.
“Look, I don’t care what you do to him, but… just don’t hurt her.”
“She tells us everything we want to know then I won't have to.” Mitch. That was definitely Mitch.
I guess it’s time for the interrogation.
They certainly took their time. Clementine imagined the others must have held a funeral for Marlon before dealing with their captives.
“Rise and shine.” Mitch called loudly to the already awake prisoners, his voice reverberating off the metal pipes.
Clementine couldn’t help but look past him at Louis. She watched him lean against the wall next to the stairs, arms crossed, finding more interest in the floor than looking up at her.
“Don’t look at him.” Mitch stopped her before she could call out.
“I’m the one you’re gonna pay attention to right now.”
Mitch’s threatening tone didn’t scare her. She couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t hurt her if she failed to cooperate, but honestly, it was hard for her to bring herself to care about her own well being. Numbness settled in her chest cavity, stealing away most emotions.
“I didn’t want any of this to happen.” She mumbled.
“I don’t know what to fuckin’ think about you anymore.” The tall boy glared uncertainly, pacing in front of her.
“You spent so much time goin’ on and on about these fucking ‘raiders’ but forgot to mention you’re one of them. Hm? Did it just slip your mind?”
“I needed you all to trust me.” Clementine tried to explain.
“If you didn’t we all would have died.”
“Oh, like Marlon? Or maybe getting taken would have been worse, like four of my fucking friends.” Mitch was fuming,
Clem understood his frustration. She lied to them, used them. Involved them in a plan they didn’t know the details of. Clementine was practically a traitor.
“That Marlon kid was coward.” Abel spoke, getting Mitch’s attention.
“I knew it the day I met him with those three redheaded girls. Handed those sisters over with hardly a fight.”
“Where are they?” the boy demanded, grabbing a fistful of Abel’s sweater.
“That’s none of your business, kid.” He flashed another toothy grin. His cockiness earned him a sharp punch to the stomach.
“That bitch of a leader talked about Minerva, if she’s with you, you better fucking speak up if you wanna stay alive.” Mitch raged, ignoring the man’s forceful coughing.
Abel writhed in his chair, blood spewing from his mouth as he puked up his insides. The massive amount of blood splattered over himself, covering his mouth and clothes in a thick red. His head fell back as his breathing became more laboured than before. Mitch stepped back in shock at the gruesome scene before him. Even Clementine felt her stomach turn at the sight.
That isn’t good.
“N-No… no…” Abel wheezed through broken breaths.
“Fuck.”
“The fuck’s wrong with you?” Mitch asked in slight horror.
“You did this.” The man turned to Clementine, who sat wide-eyed watching him.
“When you pushed me off that balcony, something musta’ burst inside of me.”
“Good.” Clementine said flatly as she glared back at the man who ruined her life.
I just wish I could have killed him myself.
But I guess I kinda did.
Mitch stood awkwardly between them, unsure of this new dilemma.
“Well if you’re dying then hurry up and fuckin’ answer me.” He blurted out, now keeping his distance from the bloody man.
“Where the fuck are my friends!”
“Lilly will never give ‘em up!” He coughed, spitting more blood onto his soaked sweater.
“We came here for more manpower, and losing two good fighters for four sprouts who can barely hold a gun? Even a dummy like me can do the math on that one.”
“We’re going get them back.” Mitch asserted with not quite convincing confidence.
“I don’t know how much your friend in the other chair told you about what’s going on outside but it’s a fucking blood bath. We’re only doing what it takes to keep our home safe.” Abel was starting to become physically weaker. His time was clearly running out.
“It’s a good home. I’d do a lot to protect it.”
“Raiding, kidnapping, torture, enslavement, yeah that sure is a lot.” Clementine snapped.
“You ruin more lives than you think you’re saving.”
“I do what it fuckin’ takes.” He looked Mitch straight in the eye.
“But I guess none of that matters to me now.”
His voice grew weak and his chest heaved with every breath. Just a sorrowful, bloody, husk of a man.
“I’ll cut you a deal, kid.” He tried to sit up, only to slump back after a few seconds.
“I’ll tell you where to find Lilly if you swear to stop me from turning.”
“You don’t deserve to be put down.” Clementine spit. After everything he’d done, mercy was the last thing he deserved. Clem knew many good people who were left to turn, Why should someone like him receive a mercy they were denied?
“C’mon, I’m begging ya.” His voice became desperate, whatever bravado he had before seemed to have bled out of him.
“What if… What if they can feel it… when they turn?”
“I guess you’ll find out soon enough.” Mitch deadpanned.
“Maybe people just get stuck in there, along for the ride.”
“Clem! Fuckin’ say something. Make him stop me. You know no one deserves to turn.” Abel must have been pretty desperate if he was trying to appeal to her.
“Abel, there is not a soul on this fucking Earth that wants you to turn more than I do.”
“Yeah, I figured.” He sighed
“O-kay, okay. In my boot, there’s a paper with everything you need to know.”
Mitch hesitantly reached into the boot of Abel’s intact leg, pulling out a folded piece of paper. He mulled over the contents of the page for a moment before reading them aloud.
“‘Collection Goals: Sullene, Dorian: Overwatch; Michael, Yonatan: Horses, Haul; Rendevoux Point: Lilly, Me: Meet with the asset at Train Station; Fisher’s Launch: nine miles, Marina: thirteen miles; Phrases: Allegany, Tazewell, Augusta, Rockingham.’”
“We got a boat docked not too far from here.” He wheezed out.
“The phrases are city names. We use ‘em like a call and response so we don’t go shootin’ our own. Only one we use these days is ‘Rockingham’.”
Mitch seemed satisfied with the notes, carefully folding the page back up and sliding it into his pocket. He crossed his arms as he stared at the dying man.
“I gave you what you wanted.” His words were almost unintelligible as he wasted away before them.
“Please, don’t let me become one of those things.”
“Let him.” Clementine wanted nothing more for those disgusting eyes to become clouded over, to match the muddy water colour of all the people she’d been forced to leave that way.
“I wish.” Mitch relented.
“We can’t risk him getting loose and tearing someone up.”
A shame.
Clementine would have to settle with him at least not being able to hurt anyone. Even if it wasn’t the justice she wanted.
“Thank you… Thank y-you…” The man could barely hold his head up.
His time had come.
Mitch pulled a knife out of his back pocket, cautiously approaching him. There was hesitancy in his movements.
He’s never killed someone before.
“Let me do it.” She knew the first kill was never easy, even if it was out of mercy.
“N-No.” He turned his head halfway over his shoulder, barely casting her a glance.
“I got it.”
He placed a hand on one side of Abel’s head, holding him steady. In one quick motion, Mitch jammed his knife into Abel’s skull. The man made horrible cries as his brain shut down, blood squirting from the wound. Mitch removed his knife, taking several steps back as Abel flopped forward, the bastard finally dead.
“Are you alright?” Clem asked, watching his shoulders rise and fall with heavy breathing.
“I’m fine.” The boy said, wiping blood off of his hand.
“You know you’re a good person if it never gets easier.” A reason why she believed she was not good herself.
“The hell did you get caught up with these assholes in the first place?” Mitch turned back to her.
“You put up one hell of a fight for someone who lives with them.
“They took me. Just like they took your friends.” The gunshots from the past rung in her ears.
“I was living on a ranch. The Delta’s people showed up demanding we give them our horses. When we refused, they killed everyone.”
Her chest tightened as she remembered scurrying down the halls with AJ in her arms. The feeling of him being ripped away from her shattered her heart.
“There was a little boy I was raising. He was just a toddler…” She bit her lip, trying to hold back her tears.
“Abel decided killing me would be a waste, so he took AJ away from me and forced me to go along with the Delta’s fucked up agenda or else they would hurt him.”
“They took a toddler?”
“Are you really surprised?” A nervous laugh escaped her throat.
“If I don’t stop Lilly from going back to the Delta she’s going to kill him.”
Or worse, brainwash him into believing Lilly’s bullshit.
“Are Minnie and Sophie on this boat of theirs?”
“I don’t know, maybe. I don’t know who she is.” She remembered seeing a girl with ginger hair briefly during her transfer, but who knows who she was.
“I’m not a real member of their community. They keep me locked up alone until they need me. I’m just a trained dog to them, not a person.”
Clementine finally glanced back at Louis, who looked at her with his mouth agape, horror in his features.
Mitch followed her gaze to the boy, frowning. He walked towards Louis, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“I guess it’s your turn.” Mitch nodded to him before leaving.
Louis stepped fully into the light. Grief crossed his freckled face as he stood over the girl he had fallen for. His eyes were still puffy from a night spent in tears. He said nothing for a while, mouth opening a few times but no words exiting.
Clementine couldn’t do anything but stare expectantly at him, her heart racing.
“Who are you?” He asked in all sincerity as if the two of them had never met. As if the two of them had never confided in each other. As if they had never shared that kiss only the night before.
“You know me, Louis.” Her voice broke.
“You know me better than anyone.”
“Do I?” Louis snapped, causing her to recoil slightly.
“‘Cause I think I was missing a few pretty major details.”
His face softened a little, mulling over his thoughts.
“Did you mean any of it?” The boy asked softly.
“The things you said… The things you did… and… last night in the music room. Was any of it real? O-Or was it all part of some act?” He practically pleaded for a response, his eyes becoming glassy with fresh tears.
“All of it!” Clementine cried through shaky breaths.
“Of course I meant everything! Louis, I wouldn’t do that to you.”
Did he really doubt her? After everything? Guilt clawed at her heart as tears pricked at her eyes.
I can’t lose him.
“Louis, please.” Clementine begged.
“You have to believe me. I wasn’t lying about how I feel about you. I…”
Her words trailed off as her throat became clogged with tears.
“I can’t keep watching the people I care about die because of me. I can’t keep watching my little boy suffer because of that bitch.” Why did she continue to fail at protection? Was she really that worthless?
“I just wanted us to be free.”
“You did all this to protect your kid?” He seemed to begin to understand.
“But then why did you fight back? You said Lilly’s gonna kill him when she gets to him, so why didn’t you just hand us over like you planned?”
Do you really need to ask me that?
Maybe he just needed to hear it from her.
“I couldn’t lose you.” Her voice came out as a croaked whisper.
“I’ve never had someone like you before. Someone who looks at me and sees something more than a broken shell of a person. Someone who tries to put me back together instead of leaving me on my own to figure it out myself.”
Other groups she’d infiltrated never really gave a damn about her. They tended to treat her like a stray cat, giving her food but mainly keeping their distance. This was something she’d come to expect… Until she met Louis.
“You were there for me like no one else, someone I could lean on.” Someone she desperately needed.
Hot tears began to slide down her face, flowing freely as she didn't have the freedom to wipe them away. Clementine sat before him a pitiful mess.
“I was going to tell you everything, once this was all over. I was going to sneak onto the boat and go save AJ myself and bring him back here.” She wanted to fold in on herself, to disappear.
“It was a stupid plan but it was all I had and now Lilly got away, Violet, Omar, Aasim, and Brody are gone, and Marlon is dead and it’s all my fault.”
I don’t deserve to be alive.
“You're wrong.”
What?
“That shit isn’t your fault.” Louis said assuredly.
“We all would have died or been kidnapped if it wasn’t for you. You saved as many of us as you could.”
Clementine couldn’t begin to describe how much those words meant to her. She was so sure that Louis would hate her but… perhaps a part of him did. It wasn’t plausible for him to just forgive her like that.
“And to be honest… we need you.” He confessed.
“Half of us are gone, we’re scared, and we don’t know what to do.”
He placed his hand on her right arm, leaning in slightly as they locked eyes. Several emotions swirled in his soft brown eyes. He stared for a long moment, before letting out a defeated sigh.
“If you’re really one of us…” With one slice of his blade, Louis cut through the tape that held her forearm to the chair.
“...then help us.”
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