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#but oof the irony
cheese-water · 10 months
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Generation Loss is a comedic tragedy in every sense of the word. Every character we see exemplifies this fact, but no one other than The Austin Show proves its truth.
We begin at the carousel. Austin, Gay, takes his turn by pleading for himself to live because he has a wife and children back home. The rest of the cast interrogates him about his “wife and kids,” clearly suspicious of his truthfulness without even knowing his dubbed “title.” Everyone in the room treats Austin like a joke.
In turn, so do we.
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Next, we reach the closet and shortly after the failed drag show, Austin remarks, “Look, I uh… I didn’t expect to die here.” It’s a moment of pure honesty, whether we like it or not. It happens again when the Puzzler tries to party with them, and Austin has to angrily remind him that they are his captives and are actively trying to kill them.
Austin: “What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? We're trying to get out of here. I have children and wives— wife. One wife! What is this some sort of game? I’ve been stuck in hear for hours it seems. We’re trying to get out. Why is nobody else freaking out? We’ve got C4 strapped to our neck…”
It isn’t until Ethan’s death, his blood pooling out from underneath the door, Austin screaming at the others, begging them to have a reaction, to care about their circumstances, to care about death, that we finally understand Austin’s role in Generation Loss.
After all, in every great comedy, someone always has to play the straight man.
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Transforms into a cuboid monstrosity and says "oof"
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aprillikesthings · 4 months
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Listen. I understand why tumblr is recc'ing these two blogs to me. But the juxtaposition is nevertheless amusing.
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creativenicocorner · 9 months
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Me, sweating through my clothes, no air conditioning, sunny, 36°C, no wind, luckily there's only 37% humidity - writing: The air was chilled. But in a cool, not hot way. Like a slap in the face with an ice cube and thanking the molecules for it way. In a, standing in front of an open refrigerator way. So chilled. So cool.
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marvellouslymadmim · 2 years
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There is something so fucking hilarious about Rings of Power's all white writers' room unironically writing the line "the elves are here to steal our jobs!" while posing Galadriel as a minority outsider, when the show itself has already shown elves to generally be the oppressors and given Galadriel a heavy dose of metaphorical white savior syndrome.
Like....I KNOW y'all didn't actually try to make the commentary you're making and that actually makes it better.
It's like watching the attempted wokenism of Amanda Peet's The Chair on steroids and crack.
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shaylalaloohoo · 4 months
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Tagged by @fairytale-lights
Rules: Make a new post and post the latest line your WIP & tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like)
Something about the cabin window is awful: it takes up the entire wall, floor to ceiling, and looks out over a mostly barren forest buried beneath the snow. If it weren’t so dead outside, she’d feel constantly watched.
Tagging @confetti-cat @reystars @canyonroads because I don't know which writer friends are active/following me/up for tagging 😐 please dm me let me know pretty please
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pockettrinn · 1 year
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Why hands are so hard to draw??? Istg I spend a lot of time just to draw those four fingers. I'm so sorry to that anon that had been days requesting the art :')
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dowagersqueen · 1 year
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If they did Aemond and Helaena in the show does that mean we wouldn’t get Alys Rivers? I’ve never read the books so I don’t know what the time line is. Does Aemond meet Alys after Helaena dies?
if you've been on my blog you know how i feel about aemond x helaena and it does depend on what you mean by "if they did aemond x helaena", whether you mean something exclusive to feelings vs if you mean the theory about the children
but i honestly don't know what to tell you about alys. i mean, i'm still confused what they'll do with the baratheon girl in the first place. does she somehow die or do they break the alliance? does aemond forgo his promise for alys? idk a thing about this
but i've seen aemond x alys shippers are convinced she'll be in the show so she'll probably show up at some point.
aemond dies iirc halfway through the civil war which is, i guess, one and a half year later than episode 9-10 which means he should meet alys soon
though again, i'm not sure i'm gonna like this pair so i'm probably not the best person to ask about it
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astertiae · 1 year
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Toshiro: beware of squad 3
Momo: immediately goes to Aizen for advice
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stevenose · 6 months
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Cowboy Steve who makes you sit on his cock, wearing nothing but his hat, and he lasts all of two bounces before he's holding you down and using his grip on your hips to thrust up into you, biting at your neck to muffle his sounds, keeping when your hands tug at his hair and he can feel brim on his hat on your head hit him as you keel over
reader with a vagina
scream. oh my god.
you took the hat from steve just to be annoying. you like riling him up - it’s very easy. just as easy as it is for him to do it to you.
you know he can’t be patient. he never has been. it’s a pretty bad trait considering his profession. so when he wants you to ride him in that hat, every irony is not lost on you. you strip, except for the hat, and sit down nice and slow, letting yourself stretch out. while he just watches you with hooded eyes.
“you ready?”
“darlin’,” he says softly. “i’ve been ready.”
up. down. up. down.
you’re not expecting his hands to grip your hips so suddenly and so hard. the pads of them are sure to leave bruises in their wake. you’ll push down on them later when you miss him to remind yourself of him.
he fucks up into you so fast and hard that your breath forces itself out with an embarrassing oof! he never lets up. not for a second. not for you to catch your breath. you arch and cry, grinding down so his pelvis hits your clit with each thrust.
“unh!” your eyes roll back while his teeth sink into your hot skin. he never falters. not even when you’re bending over him, stomach flipping, pussy pulsing. his hat topples onto the floor unceremoniously.
a sudden, harsh spank on your ass. “b-better not get dirty,” he scolds, boots planted firmly to the floor. “or you’re cleanin’ it up.”
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completeoveranalysis · 8 months
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[5]
CLAMP I LOVE YOU
HELLO DOMESTIC COUPLE KUROFAI
Fai couches his reasoning in a way to figure out the timeline but he is making DAMN SURE his husband’s prosthetics are comfortable and working correctly 
I NEVER DREAMED WE WOULD GET THIS KIND OF ATTENTION TO IT. Most manga would just say hey new arm moving on we don’t worry it’s perfectly the same as before 
Not clamp! They really sat us down and brought in the realities of a long term health condition and an acknowledgment that things don’t just work perfectly or leave you completely as functional as before. 
And THIS level of their relationship too. With Kurogane masking his pain and dismfort because they’ve got serious things go figure out but Fai was paying CLOSE ATTENTION and knew exactly what was up, but also deliberately arranged to be alone with him before talking to him about it out of genuine care for his privacy. 
MARRIED MARRIED I COULD NOT BE HAPPIER 
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I
AM
IN
LOVE
OHHHHHH OHHHH I LOVE IT
LISTEN JUST GO BACK TO THAT FIRST PANEL THERE. LOOK AT IT. ENJOY IT. KUROGANE FORCING HIMSELF TO PUT ASIDE HIS PRIDE AND EMBARASSMENT AND ADMIT THAT YES, IT HURTS MORE THAN YESTERDAY
THE ANNOYANCE AS HE HAS TO ALLOW HIMSELF TO BE VULNERABLE TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION
THE WAY HE DOES IT ANYWAY. HE IS VULNERABLE WITH FAI.
And Fai immediately clocks him in the head for not mentioning it earlier. 
Not recommended in real life but EXQUISITE when your husband is like a 6’6 slab of hardened ninja beef, and also when that was essentially the same way you confirmed your marriage to each other not too long ago
New way for them to ignite their playful banter: unlocked! Instead of Kurogane chasing Fai with a sword it’s Fai hitting him in the head and Kurogane reacting in cartoon outrage. (This is Kurogane after all. He can dodge a punch) (Unless we are also saying that he was so emotionally vulnerable that he let his guard down completely which I am also a fan of. It's a win win scenario)
I suppose it’s one way of encouraging your husband to open up to you when it matters, especially when you already drink his blood on a regular basis. 
They really are the most married of all time. 
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OH AND THIS TOPS IT ALL OFF
THIS NEW DYNAMIC, SO DIFFERENT FROM ANYTHING THEY HAD BEFORE 
Not Fai lying or avoiding the question or hiding any part of himself - Fai being completely honest and open and correcting Kurogane when he isn’t doing the same. It's a complete inversion of how they were before, when Kurogane was the one pulling a reluctant Fai towards being honest. 
And when Kurogane grumpily notes the irony of Fai being the one to admonish him for keeping secrets (Oof, but also score) Fai OWNS IT, SMILES BRILLIANTLY, and uses it as AMMUNITION to back himself up. Who ELSE is an expert in the consequences of keeping things a secret for too long? 
BRILLIANT BRILLIANT LEAVE ME HERE IT’S ALL I NEED
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worseforwords · 1 year
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Table for Two (Ona Batlle x Reader)
I decided to be nice for once so I wrote some non-angst. Enjoy :)
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It felt a little silly, sitting alone at a table for two, but you had convinced yourself it was okay to go out and treat yourself for once. A waiter came by and you ordered yourself a glass of red wine, a Tempranillo, in an attempt to mentally travel to sunny Spain, whilst in reality rain was pouring down right outside the restaurant you were in. You didn’t mind living in Manchester, having built a life there with a job and friends. According to said friends however, one thing was still missing in your life: love. You had no problem being on your own. Of course you didn’t want it forever, but dating really wasn’t your forte and therefore you’d rather just stay single. However, your friends didn’t accept your argument, and kept urging you to go on dates, offering blind date set ups, which you knew would end in disaster.
So after a while, you decided to quiet their pleads, by lying to them and telling them you were going on a date every so often. Tonight was one of those nights, which required you actually leaving your house, as your roommate was part of your friend group.
As you were browsing the menu, a girl walked into the restaurant, catching your attention. She approached the hostess and asked about a reservation, but it appeared there had been some sort of mixup, and there were no free tables available at the moment. You overheard the hostess telling her that there would be one available in half an hour. The girl sighed and turned around to leave, but cursed silently when she noticed that the rain had started pouring down even harder. She scanned the room and glanced over at the bar, but all of the stools were occupied. Without thinking, you offered her a seat at your table whilst she waited for hers. She hesitated for a moment before gratefully accepting your offer. 
“Thank you, that’s very kind.” the girl said as she took off her coat and sat down across from you. “No problem, you shouldn’t be waiting outside with this weather.” you said. “Still, you really didn’t have to.” she said, sending you a kind smile as you both fell into a slightly uncomfortable silence. “So, what brings you out on this rainy night?” You said, breaking the ice. “Well, I’m supposed to go on a blind date tonight, but the restaurant messed up my reservation. And here I am, stranded and alone.” she said, flashing you a wry smile. You couldn't help but laugh at the irony of the situation. “Well, it seems like fate brought us together then. I, on the other hand, told my friends I was on a date tonight just to get them off my back.” you admitted, causing the girl to chuckle. “I get it,” she started, “I really didn’t want to go out tonight but my friends forced me to go.” She rolled her eyes. “Oof, well, you never know, it might turn out great.” you said. “Yeah, who knows.” she replied, her gaze not leaving yours.
“A glass of Tempranillo.” the waiter, who had apparently approached you whilst you were distracted, spoke as he put the glass of red wine in front of you. “Can I get you anything?” he asked, turning to the girl across the table. She looked at you as if she was asking for your permission, to which you nodded, sending her a small smile. “I’ll have what she’s having.” she finally said, pointing at your glass. 
“I'm sorry, where are my manners? I’m Y/N.” She chuckled and introduced herself too, “Hi Y/N, I’m Ona.” She held out her hand for you to shake, which you quickly reciprocated. Her skin felt soft as she pulled away, softly caressing your palm in the process, although you were unsure whether she did that on purpose.
You both went on to joke about the absurdity of blind dates for a bit and shared a few laughs about some of the more comical moments you’d both experienced in the dating world. It was refreshing to meet someone who shared your sense of humour. When Ona went to the bathroom for a bit, you pulled out your phone and saw a text from your roommate. You chuckled to yourself as you, funnily enough, didn’t really have to lie when you told her you were having a great time. 
“Sorry for the delay, one Tempranillo, here you go.” the waiter spoke as he put down Ona’s glass of wine shortly after she had returned. “Cheers.” you said, holding out your glass. “Cheers. To never going on a blind date ever again.” she replied, tapping her glass against yours. “Well,” you said. “after the one you’re having tonight. Speaking of, aren’t they a little late?” “Right, my date.” she said, staring at her wine. “They’re not making a great first impression.” she chuckled.
As your conversation continued, you found that you and Ona had a lot in common. You discovered that she had moved to Manchester from Spain not that long ago and she too was still getting used to the city, and especially the weather. 
“I know what you mean,” you said sympathetically, “when I first moved here, I felt like I would never get used to the weather. But it grows on you eventually.” Ona nodded in agreement. “I’ve already started investing in raincoats and wellies,” she joked, “I think I'm slowly becoming a local.” You both laughed, enjoying the light-hearted banter.
“So Ona,” you started, “I don’t know about you but I am getting quite hungry.” “Oh, I am sorry, you can go ahead and order.” she answered quickly. “Well actually, I was going to propose sharing some nachos? Your date is 20 minutes late. At this point it seems fair for you to have eaten something when they arrive.” you proposed. “Yeah, totally. That seems fair.” she smiled.
As you waited for the nacho’s, Ona told you some more about her big move from Spain and how she still struggled to fit in here due to the language issue. You told her you thought she was doing great, which made her smile, but she also explained that she still struggled to understand humor, which was something she usually loved. “Especially puns are difficult to understand when you’re still learning a language.” she said. You couldn’t help but grin at that, secretly pleased as puns were your specialty. “I can help with that if you’d like. I know some fairly easy ones.” you offered. “Okay, but don’t make fun of me if I don’t get it!” she said. “I promise.” you said,  clearing your throat for dramatic effect.
“Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?” you asked with a grin. Ona looked at you quizzically. “No, what happened?” “He pasta way!” you replied, making a twisting motion with your hand. “We cannoli do so much.” Ona let out a laugh, shaking her head in disbelief. “I can't believe I’m laughing at that,” she said. “I must be tired.”
“Hey you got it though!” you chuckled. “Don’t worry, my puns only get better from here.” “Oh, I can’t wait,” she said, rolling her eyes playfully. 
The two of you continued to joke around, making silly puns and exchanging funny stories. It felt like a relief to be able to let loose and enjoy each other’s company without any pressure or expectations. The nachos were gone quickly, as you were both quite hungry and you ate them mindlessly whilst cracking jokes and laughing the whole time. 
It had now been 45 minutes since you invited her to sit at your table and, secretly much to your relief, there was still no sign of Ona’s blind date. Meanwhile you had both had some wine, and Ona seemed to have forgotten about her other plans when she signalled the waiter to order your main dishes and two more glasses of wine.
As the night went on, you found yourself feeling more comfortable with Ona. It was as if you had known each other for years instead of just a little over an hour. At some point, the conversation shifted to more personal topics. Ona opened up about her past relationships and some of the struggles she had faced, like doing long distance. You listened attentively, empathising with her and offering words of encouragement. In turn, she asked about your own experiences and you found yourself sharing things you hadn’t even told your closest friends.
When you both finished your delicious meals you sat in a comfortable silence for a bit. “Do you want a desert?” you asked, feeling very full yourself. “I am quite full actually. I see the rain has stopped pouring, so how about we take a little walk and then maybe we can get some ice cream later?” she proposed. “Yeah, that sounds lovely.” you answered.
“I am sorry your date didn’t show up.” you said as you closed the door behind you, barely able to contain your grin as you tried to look at her empathetically. Ona stayed quiet for a while before suddenly stopping in her tracks. “I have to tell you something,” she started, “I actually came to the restaurant a half hour early by accident, so my date wasn’t late, and she would’ve shown up if I hadn’t texted her to cancel when I went to the bathroom.” she explained. “Wait, I don’t understand, why would you cancel if you’re already at the restaurant?” You said.
Ona turned towards you, slightly raising an eyebrow. “Oh. OH.” you blurted as the penny finally dropped. “Well now I feel obligated to tell you I was lying earlier when I said I was sorry.” You chuckled, slightly shocked but ultimately flattered at her confession. 
“Wait, you aren’t just making this up right?” You asked. “No, I promise, I can show you the text!” she exclaimed. “I’m kidding, I believe you, and I am flattered.” 
You fell into a comfortable silence as you walked side by side. “So erm,” you broke it. “I guess I don’t have to lie to my roommate later when I tell her my date has been really great.” “I guess not” She said, smiling softly at you.
You took Ona to your favourite ice cream shop in town and you sat on a bench outside, enjoying your desert. “You have a little ice cream over there.” Ona stated, pointing towards the corner of your mouth. You tried to get rid of it with your tongue, making Ona giggle. “It’s still there. Can I?” She asked, moving her hand up to you face. 
“Oh really? Wow, that must be the cheesiest move anyone has ever pulled on me.” you chuckled. “What?” she exclaimed innocently, “I’m not making a move, there is actually something on your face!” She pulled out her phone and opened the camera app, flipping it to selfie mode and handing it to you. “Oh yeah you’re right,” you said, noticing it too. “still cheesy though.” 
“Wh- what kind of move is that, what was I supposed to do with that? Lick the ice cream of your lips?” she asked, making you chuckle. “No, of course not! It’s a classic, you know. You wipe something off someone’s lip with your thumb, then hold your hand there, look them in the eyes and then kiss them.” you explained. “Oh, well I guess you’re the better romantic then.” she said, making the both of you chuckle.
“If you want cheesy, I can do cheesy.” Ona suddenly said. “I see you’re still holding my phone, you might as well put your number in it.” Her sudden boldness threw you off guard. “What no comeback?” she chuckled at your flustered expression. “Wow, bold. I did not see that coming.” you said, opening her contacts app to do as requested. “I am full of surprises.” Ona stated.
After you both finished your ice cream, it was time to say goodbye for the night. “Hey, Ona,” you started, making her turn to look at you. “I think you have something on your lip.” you said, smiling slyly. “Oh do I now?” she chuckled. “Yeah, can I erm, help you with that?” you asked carefully. “Yeah, definitely.” she said as she looked at your eyes and then lips expectantly.
You softly placed a hand on her cheek, gently caressing the corner of her mouth with your thumb as you slowly leaned in before placing  a painfully delicate kiss on her lips. It was slow, soft and soothing, but also short, leaving the both of you aching for more. 
As you pulled away you savoured the moment for a bit before saying, “It was a kiss.” She looked at you confused. “The thing on your lips,” you explain, “turns out it was a kiss.” “Oh my god.” she sighed, playfully smacking your shoulder.
“Goodnight Ona”
“Goodnight Y/N”
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incorrect-hs-quotes · 7 months
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VRISKA: Okay, since N8 ONE else is asking this question. 
VRISKA: Why do people keep falling down all these goddamn stairs??
DAVE: good question ask past me
*DAVE appears in his Felt suit* 
DAVE: its because youre too stupid to understand irony
*DAVE and DAVE fistbump*
DAVE: oof burn
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irn-bru · 1 year
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oof the delicious irony of the empire working day and night to find cassian but they already have him in a cell for a crime he didn't commit
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vfclayr · 4 days
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I just want to put this here in case I lose it from my files for whatever reason.
youtube
The game featured is Shinobi no Sato ni Jintori Kassen, a PS1 game from 2003. The video is a few cut scenes strung together. The main thing I want to share here is the in-game argument between Kakashi and Iruka.
Iruka confronted Kakashi about Land of the Wave mission, that Kakashi should have pulled the mission once Zabuza came into the picture. Kakashi felt that it is just the life of a shinobi. The fight escalated when Iruka brought up Kakashi's past record of failing his students and Kakashi attacked Iruka for the academy graduating students who were not ready and it is those in the field that have to watch them die. This then leads to their in game battle. (The first comment under the video gave a fairly accurate translation of the interaction).
Yes, this is a game and isn't "canon", but damn did they go hard after each other. Iruka accusing Kakashi of crushing Naruto's dreams with his style of teaching, not knowing Kakashi's reasons for failing his past students. And Kakashi responding by saying Iruka doesn't know how things really work in the field and graduating unqualified students he had to fail, when really Iruka is the only one fighting against passing students who are not ready, even if it meant going against the Hokage and not passing Naruto. And the biggest irony being that they are both driven by the same motivations trying to keep their students alive, just with varying emphasis on balancing idealism with reality. And it is interesting that they basically highlighted the differences between Iruka and Kakashi when it comes to their students: Iruka trying to shield Naruto from their conflict, and Kakashi telling him "I'm going to show you how it's done". The nurturing vs pragmatic approaches are spot on for who they are as teachers and people. This game script is basically early canon Kakashi and Iruka conflict dynamic at its finest.
And poor Naruto had to watch his two parental figures go at each other (glad they resolved the difference in the end, but I still go oof whenever I see this clip).
(for @virtualcarrot : the ending scene for them at the Memorial Stone is a bit of a rehash from Naruto chapter 139. Kakashi's line was directly lifted from there. I will try to translate a bit.
Iruka: Kakashi Sensei, so he's been here (this whole time).
Kakashi (to the stone): forgive me
Iruka: Kakashi Sensei...?
Kakashi: I can't help but admonish my past stupid self when I get here.
Iruka: my parents lie here too.
Iruka: The will of fire. That powerful will that protect our village. The will of the heroes that lie here. Surely we should pass on to our students. Come, Naruto and them are waiting for you.)
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iceman-maverick · 4 months
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Huddling for warmth + "I really think you should re-evaluate your priorities."
“I really think you should re-evaluate your priorities,” Ice says, twirling the phone cord as he waits for the tone to go through. 
He’s a vision in his briefs, sprawled out all sunkissed across Maverick’s baby blue sheets. The sun is just beginning to set, casting the room in a light orange glow- a picture perfect ending to a deliciously relaxing day by the pool. Mav was drawn to this rental mostly because of the price and proximity to Carol's house - the pool was just a bonus that left Ice hellbent on getting as much return on investment as their instructor schedules would permit.
Maverick tries not to think so hard about how sweetly the sheets bring out the color in Ice’s eyes. Tries to forget Carol's gleeful teasing from back when he bought the damn things on a Target run.
Seriously Pete? She had squealed, Look at the tag! They're called Pradise Ice for Heaven's sake.
He pushes her laughter from his mind - or at least he tries to.But then Ice rolls his shoulder, stretches like a sunbathing cat and exposes his neck for all the world to see. Peppered along the tanned skin is a constellation of angry red and purple bite marks, evidence of a night well spent.
Maverick smirks and turns to open his drawers. He’s drenched to the bone, shirt clinging uncomfortably to his chest and making all sorts of strange and off putting squishing sounds as Maverick tries to wrestle himself free. He nearly loses his footing and doesn't even wait for the cackling to start before he raises a middle finger up to Ice who is far too pleased about Maverick's spectacle. 
“I couldn’t let it die,” Maverick whines, putting as much elbow grease into peeling his jeans off as his still aching back is willing to allow. 
A night well spent, indeed. 
“Mother nature can be cruel,” Ice drones. Even with his back turned, Maverick can hear the frown in his voice. The line’s engaged, Mav figures, just as he hears the testy click of Ice dropping the phone back to the receiver. “We’re going to starve because you had to go all Baywatch on a frog,” 
"It was a nice frog," Mav shrugs, tossing his wet clothes to the side of the room and happily ignoring Ice's pointed frown.
Mav forgoes fresh clothes and instead opts to crawl up the bed and flop down squarely across Ice’s chest. He brings his arms up to wrap around Ice’s shoulders, basking in his radiating body heat. Maverick swears that Ice is some sort of lizard what with his uncanny ability to soak up the sun. Ice always tends to run hot - the irony is not lost on either of them - and Maverick is more than happy to help himself to his wingman’s warm embrace. 
“Baywatch, huh?” Mav smiles into Ice’s neck, trailing his fingers lightly along the trail of hickies. He pokes at a particularly angry mark and delights in Ice’s squirming. “Didn’t peg you for a Hasselhoff kinda guy,” 
“Oh shut up,” Ice pushes away Mav’s proding fingers, and then starts to buck until Mav slides off besides him. Mav makes a noise not unlike a dying animal before flailing his arms back towards Ice.
“Oof- Mav let go, it’s fucking hot,” 
“Yeah, well I’m fucking cold,”
Mav successfully gets an arm back around Ice’s shoulder and uses it to propel himself back into the warm cocoon of Ice’s chest. Ice begins to worm his way out again but then Mav quickly shoves a thigh firmly between Ice’s legs and well, looky here, doesn’t that do that trick nicely?
“Now, are you going to help or am I stuck warming myself up all by myself?” Mav says, leaving a fresh trail of kisses along a suddenly much more cooperative Ice.
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I was going to go in a completely angsty direction with this prompt - I'm talking chemo angsty - but then I opened up pinterest and the monstrosity above was suddenly thrusted upon me. Val Kilmer's body is obsecene, I want to feed him grapes and fawn him with various large leaves.
We're playing an IceMav askbox fic game. Send me a trope and a first sentence and I'll write at least one paragraph!
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