#but please try to use the brain cells you have left and realize that you're just wrong and blind

[yesbutmakeitgay]

Once Upon A Time I Used To Know A Girl

Chapter 10

Carol Danvers x Reader

Masterlist | This work's masterlist | AO3

Summary: A peek into what Carol has been up to during these trying times.

Angst, Slow Burn, Amnesia.

Word count: 778

A/N: Officially halfway through the fic!!!!

I Tried To Write, But It’s Killing Me Inside

Carol lands her ship on the strange planet and veils it, you both get out all geared up and ready for the last minute mission. The place is hot and sandy with big rocks scattered around, it almost looks deserted.

The Captain scans the area with her eyes, "We should split up to cover more terrain," she instructs, "keep your comms on and meet back here in 15." You give her a nod and do as you're told.

Carol starts walking after she sees you leave, sensing something off about the environment. A couple of minutes go by and she hears you through her ear piece, "Carol, I think someone's here," you whisper.

"Send me your coordinates." She receives some signal but it's too choppy to understand, "Can you hear me?" Her voice growing desperate, "Angel?"

Static.

She turns around as quickly as she can to get back to you, but when she does, she finds a small army of full body armored soldiers waiting for her. They start charging at her with weapons of all sorts and she gets to work on every one of them. When she thinks she's almost done, backup shows up with even bigger weapons. It takes her more than 15 minutes to get through all of them, but when she does she flies back to your meeting point.

She arrives, but doesn't find you there, panic starts to set in her mind. She follows your footprints in the sand until they disappear somewhere down the path. She keeps going and sees a body in the distance, lying against a rock. Upon closer inspection she realizes it's you, unconscious, fully bruised, head bleeding, uniform destroyed.

"Angel?" Her voice is drowning in despair, when you don’t show a reaction she picks you up and rushes you back to the ship. She pilots it as fast as she can to get you to the compound.

"Please wake up." But the next time you did, you didn't know who she was.

Carol takes the Skrull memory device off and gets out of bed, Goose following behind her. She's wearing sweatpants and a Nine Inch Nails t-shirt that she probably hasn't changed all week, there are dark circles in her eyes.

She's been off duty since her last mission and she hasn't left her Louisiana home at all in that time. Her ship is parked in the backyard, veiled and untouched.

As she gets to the kitchen her cell phone starts ringing, she doesn't even look at who's calling before she silences it. "They keep calling," she rasps to Goose, annoyed. She makes coffee and puts some takeout leftovers in the microwave.

They sit at the table with breakfast, "I shouldn't have told her to split up," she mutters into her coffee, "it's all my fault." Goose just meows in return, already having had this conversation everyday for the past few weeks, "I should have known." Carol can't seem to think about anything else, she feels crushing guilt and grief for what happened, but also can't muster the courage to face you.

She picks up a newspaper in an attempt to distract herself. She blinks a few times to get her stinging eyes to focus, but gets stuck rereading the same sentence over and over again, failing to get her brain to process the words. Another call pulls her out of her thoughts, coming through her intergalactic device, "Val," she grumbles, before turning it down. After that, she gives up on the newspaper.

When she's done eating she takes the rest of her coffee to the porch to get some fresh air, Goose sits right beside her, "I should have gotten to her faster." The memory of the mission never leaving her mind, always trying to find a way it could have gone differently, "How did I let this happen?" She’s all out of tears, traces of the past weeks still marking her cheeks.

A third call starts ringing, this time, on her landline. She runs to stop it, but she's too late, the call goes to voicemail, she's about to delete it until she hears Kamala's voice, it is sweet and caring and full of kindness.

"Hey, I know you know we've been calling, please pick up, please, so we can talk. Whatever it is you're trying to achieve, it's not working, you're hurting her a lot more by not being here. You can just come by the compound, we can set something up. You owe it to her. Okay, um, goodbye."

Before even thinking it she pulls the phone cable out of the wall, regretting it immediately, "Fuck!" she yells into the empty house.

Clap if you missed Carol Danvers!

Tags: @graniairish @carols-photonblast @thelittleliars @unicorniusfallapatorius @prplepeony

Let me know if you wanna be tagged :)

#carol danvers fic #carol danvers #carol danvers x reader #captain marvel #captain marvel x reader #carol danvers angst #kamala khan #valkyrie

[eldritch-spouse]

Pinnie Pinnie Pinnie i must first say i love you and several smooches upon your face and wonderful brain, you help me live honestly mwamwamwamwa

Secondly, I am like no brain cell head empty in love with Santi, something about a doting cumbrain with absolutely huge knockers scratches the itch just perfectly.

I have a question about something you mentioned in a post about Santi's mark (the design is BEAUTY btw), that the obsession could TRY to leave but that they'd be in so much pain or something that they'd just end up crawling back to him. Is it like a physical pain, an emotional pain? Is it intentionally inflicted by Santi or does it innately happen when they try to stay away for too long?

Here's a little angsty type ask/scenario though, the only thing that like gets under my skin (but in like the reluctant hot way you know?) is the aspect of the total control, to the point of your own body betraying you. Maybe its the trauma but it would make me wary of the otherwise perfect arrangement.

So say Santi's one perfect match realizes that his mark is in fact not just a cute little claim, but used innately for control, and this doesn't sit well with them. There's no chance he'd just remove it from them even if they begged and promised to stay with him even without it, right? What if it started to weigh on them, tainting everything Santi does or everything they even FEEL with the worry that its not even real, its just them being controlled.

How would Santi react if it even drove them to try something like cutting the mark off of themselves? IS there even a way to remove it without Santi doing it himself, magically, physically or otherwise?

[T-Thank ye, I'm very happy you feel that way! /////]

TW: Self-harm.

The mark's effects work autonomously, for the most part. Some time after you're a good distance away from Santi, the anxiety effect will begin, and though you may not immediately recognize what's happening, you'll eventually start obsessively thinking about the incubus in a way that leaves no room for confusion. What Santi has done, since you're presumably in a fairly standard relationship, is null this effect, so that you don't have a panic attack over him being gone for an hour.

The mark's effects are specifically psychological, on the basis of panic, sadness and anguish. See, it works a bit like a Pavlov mechanism. Disobey and you'll get punished with insupportable mental distress, please Santi and you'll get a buzz of pleasure to affirm this correct behavior.

The only things that can be physically noted are it might glow when activated, and your body temperature rises slightly the more it exerts influence over you. While these effects can be triggered by Santi, they are left untouched until the day he absolutely deems it necessary to use them. Such as the day you might try to leave him, in which a firm "Stay still." will most likely have you kneel obediently on the floor before him.

Santi obviously doesn't explain the sour parts of the mark to you, and your disgust upon finding out how nefariously this claim can be are entirely justified, which makes the incubus fumble for some sort of excuse. Truth be told, he did it because he doesn't want to risk losing you, because you're the first thing he loves, because Santi goes manic just thinking that some day you might catch eyes for someone else- That something could happen to you while he's away and the demon would have no way of knowing where you are. However, there's something here he can lean onto to deviate your anger- And that's the fact that this mark will make you live longer. The claim is the very start of your journey into becoming a concubus. Santi can say that he's doing this purely because he can't bare the thought of you dying due to your lackluster human lifespan! You should accompany him for endless years more, as a demon yourself. Don't be scared, don't fear this mark, he's not being controlling (yes he is), the incubus is just thinking ahead for the two of you! It had to be done.

The sight of you using a blade to cut the mark off will hurt Santi in unimaginable ways. You loathe him that much? You're so viscerally disgusted by the demon that you will mutilate your perfect form just so you can be rid of any trace of Santi? No, no you won't. Not on his watch. It's clear he overestimated your sanity. You're clearly not well. This is meant to be, you have to love him, you don't get to just remove yourself from the situation while Santi is essentially doomed to be infatuated with you for the rest of his days. That's not fair. You're not being fair. You're insane! And Santi won't be letting your cognitive lapse impair your relationship any longer.

I hope you can be fast enough to remove or otherwise heavily slash it before he comes barreling your way, because the mark sends off signals to the demon when it's actively being damaged. If you can do it in time, Santi will lose track of your location and you'll have much bigger chances of freedom.

#Santi oc

[meadows-of-light]

Prompts 2900-2999

2900) Sorry, but you can’t fix this one, no matter how hard you try.

2901) They’re in a better place now, but lord knows I'll never be without them around.

2902) This belonged to them. They gave it to me, and it’s like a piece of them is still with me because of it.

2903) My biggest regret is not being able to do everything with them.

2904) Their absence is the only thing I can’t bear to deal with.

2905) Nothing makes sense anymore, not without them.

2906) First of all I don’t “waste” time on stupid things, I spend time on stupid things there’s a difference.

2907) Despite the fact that he was helping her, she didn't know if she could trust him. The girl she'd been had loved him, sure. But she had no idea how the girl she was now felt about things yet.

2908) You always thought that I saved you, but in truth, you saved me.

2909) You. I’ll always and endlessly fight for you.

2910) You say that as if you're not human. Who said I was?

2911) You all just watch them kill each other? Yeah, it's not like they stay dead.

2912) You ask me for patience as my friend dies in front of me. Unfortunately, I don't have any patience left.

2913) Hey, when is a mango not a mango anymore? Is this a philosophical question, a hygienic question, or a stupid question? When you eat it, because then it's a mangone.

2914) How can I be happy when they’re gone? Start with the little things. Let yourself mourn but do not feel guilty for a little joy that you find in your day.

2915) Sometimes I think you’re the only one I have in this world.

2916) Hand-in-hand with you, that's where I want to be.

2917) Whatever the outcome may be, know you have my heart.

2918) I want you to be the last one I love.

2919) Do you know how scared that I’m going to lose control one day and hurt you? I’d hate myself forever if that happened. But you've never hurt me, and I know you never will. I trust you. So please don't leave, because that will break me.

2920) I did nothing wrong! You're attacking the wrong person, I'm the victim here! Don't you dare! After everything you put them through, every scar, every bit of poison in their mind. You call yourself the victim??

2921) I'm up here and see you. If you're looking for me, you'll find me, see me and understand it.

2922) But every time I think about not having you in my life I literally break into a million pieces.

2923) I can't do it; I can't let you break my heart, not again.

2924) Is she okay? She's been through a lot for someone her age, just give her some space.

2925) I have survived, I am here. Confused, screwed up, but here.

2926) The human heart has a way of making itself large again even after it’s been broken into a million pieces.

2927) A year ago, I would never have pictured the way my life is now.

2928) Because a song can take you back instantly to a moment, or a place, or even a person. No matter what else has changed in you or the world, that one song stays the same, just like that moment. Which is pretty amazing, when you actually think about it.

2929) Sometimes I feel like it would be more useful to talk to the floorboards.

2930) You’re basing this on the entirely untrue fact that we can all act normal.

2931) When I hang around you I feel like maybe my brain cells are doing alright.

2932) I don’t have a problem with this, but I do fear your mother.

2933) This is where I grew up, actually.

2934) They’re just a kid, after all. They shouldn’t have to worry about all of this.

2935) Not only am I great at keeping secrets, but I’m also great forgetting you told me a secret in the first place.

2936) We’ve already lost more people than we needed to and we absolutely cannot afford to lose you, too. I can't- if you do not come back, I will not survive.

2937) You realize that doesn’t make any kind of sense, right?

2938) There are people who care about you. While you don’t have to change yourself to fit their ideals, you could at least let them know you’re safe once in a while. Got it?

2939) I’ll fling myself off a bridge before I return to that house.

2940) No death or loss of limbs on the property, please.

2941) There’s an answer here and I’m ignoring it on purpose.

2942) Whoa, hey look, it’s me! Exiting this conversation.

2943) Don’t go away, I can’t be left in charge of the children.

2944) It was kinda terrifying, you know. When you came back like that.

2945) For your suffering, which brings us safety and warmth, we thank you.

2946) I was afraid I wouldn't find the words, so I wrote you a letter.

2947) She has such a big heart & when it gets broken, she shuts us all out, shuts love out.

2948) You’re pushing your luck with her.

2949) Why do they let me do this alone? I need supervision.

2950) I’m too young for this!

2951) Your kitchen rights have been revoked.

2952) I can’t blame you for that. Even if it was your fault, I just can’t.

2953) Here’s your blanket and your teddy bear. Please just sleep.

2954) Does anyone else have such trouble wording their thoughts or is it just me?

2955) Leave me alone, I'm fighting the birds.

2956) If some nights of your life are spent crying on the bathroom floor, that's alright.

2957) You are a powerful being, [name], so full of promise.

2958) Tell me we’ll make it through.

2959) It’s okay, take your time.

2960) I did not ask for you, but I love you.

2961) I go where I want to, and right now, that’s with you weirdos.

2962) Hey, I never said this would be family friendly.

2963) This will be the last time you lie to me.

2964) Your name means nothing to me.

2965) I had a really weird dream. It was really dark and cold but the moon was full. I saw a wyvern.

2966) We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.

2967) With you it was different, it was more fun.

2968) Why are you looking at that toast like it has personally offended you?

2969) I hope you’re satisfied with all you've achieved by crushing other people’s hopes and dreams.

2970) All your apologies are just bullshit.

2971) You don’t have any power over me anymore, you absolute moron!

2972) It was just you who made me feel worthless and empty.

2973) You really think anyone wanted you to come back here?

2974) If I could, I’d send you far away from me forever and I’d be happy at last.

2975) Everytime I hear his name I flinch in fear. That’s how bad he was.

2976) What has got you so distraught?

2977) Healing takes time. You can’t rush these things unless you want them to go wrong.

2978) You can’t protect me. Not from this.

2979) Nothing can change the way I feel about you.

2980) I’m ashamed it took me so long to realize.

2981) I can’t trust you at all, can I? You said that you had a minor head injury. There’s a bullet in your skull. So? I'm still walking around.

2982) I know that you don’t really mean that stuff, you’re just angry and lashing out. But, damn, just stab me next time or something. That last one hurt.

2983) I know that you might not deserve forgiveness, but the way you talk about your past - it’s like you don’t even understand that it’s why you turned out like this. And, I think I can offer you a second chance. Or, maybe, in your case, a first. I think the child in those stories might deserve it, even if you don’t.

2984) We’re like family, you and me. I love you even when you make me crazy. I might not want to talk to you, and you might never want to see me again. But I’m not going to shut my door if you need to talk, and I’ll always offer my couch if you need a place to crash. Whatever happened between us, that never changed.

2985) We used to be so close. You used to know who I was.

2986) I know you don’t want to hear this, but I grew up surrounded by damaged people. Damaged a lot worse than you. You can’t scare me away. Try all you want, but I’m not leaving.

2987) Maybe it’s just part of getting older, but I feel like there’s less love in the world since you left it.

2988) Seeing you with young children, seeing how good you are with them, it makes me a little bit sad to think about the person you might have gotten to be if your family hadn’t fallen apart like it did.

2989) Look, I know you hate it, but, yes, sometimes I still see you as the kid I first met. The kid who had no one around to protect them. The kid who had been hurt so badly. You can be angry at me for that, but you can’t judge me for not wanting you - at any age - to go through that again. I can’t not want to protect you. I love you.

2990) You meant something to me once and, sure, you leaving like that cut just as deep as you expected, but you’re just one in a list of hundreds of people who pretended to care about me and then walked away.

2991) See, I want to keep you safe, but I’ve been pushing you away and freezing you out and all you’ve been doing is getting yourself in even more danger. And now… would you even take my calls anymore if I called to check up on you?

2992) There is a version of you, somewhere, in another time, that is happy. You’re not that version. Not yet.

2993) I don’t think I would be the person that I am without having gone through so much pain and suffering.

2994) We had a very bad marriage, the only good thing to come out of it was (name).

2995) We could have been so much more than this.

2996) I never thought I'd love again... until you.

2997) We've come so far. We can't let go now.

2998) You’ve shown me so much in so little time. And I love you for it.

2999) For once, just this once.

#writing prompts #dialogue prompts

[casspurrjoybellbittner]

Wreckless - Careful He-man

*Warning Adult Content*

Finnegan

The bath feels fantastic but I don't stay in too long because one... the movie two... I've been in water all day and three... Emmett is out in the bedroom on the cell-phone.

He told me it was his dad which may be really, really confusing for him right now.

I crack myself up.

I get myself settled on the couch and he comes down looking upset.

"I'm sorry, I wanted to help you out of the tub. You shouldn't have to do this right now."

"I'm okay. Can you sit with me?"

And somehow I am.

Did I prefer last time when he wrapped me all up?

Of course.

Am I incapable of drying myself off and slipping on some undies?

No.

"Of course, let me get us something to drink."

I didn't realize how thirsty I am until he says that.

"Please."

I suck down about half the bottle and he's watching me, wide-eyed, when I finish.

"You must have gotten into trouble in college, Finn. That's a heck of a chug."

I shrug because my brain immediately tries to think of a sucking cock joke.

Swallowing, am I right?

All the better to suck your cock with, my dear?

No, crap, now it's too late.

"Need anything else?"

"Just you."

"I hope you're not too sore, Finn, was that too much?"

"Shhh, movie. I'm okay. Can we talk about it tomorrow?"

I wanna stay in the little bit of headspace I have and watch my movie.

Then it's story time.

I can adult tomorrow.

"Of course, sorry."

There's only about twenty minutes left and I look at the clock when it's over.

"It's the weekend, you can stay up a little later if you want to."

I do but story.

Plus, he looks tired.

"No, wanna snuggle. You'll read to me?"

"I promised, didn't I? Brush your teeth first and I'll meet you up there."

"Kay."

He has adult house crap to do but I don't.

I just have to brush my teeth and climb into bed and it's glorious.

He brings me up my night cup and then steals the bathroom for a minute.

I worry that he's worried.

As he's climbing in to bed I tell him.

"I had a lot of fun tonight Emmett... lots."

He smiles at me and kisses my cheek.

"Good. Me too, darling. Now, chapter three."

********

Sunday morning I have to almost beg him to fuck my face.

He's sure as hell into it once he does and I think he's just worried that it might be too much but it's my ass that's sore, not my throat.

I shower first, like always because I am definitely stickiest, then lounge around until he's done.

"Let's scrounge up something for breakfast," he says and I am definitely all for that plan.

"Do you have any cereal?"

"I do. Or I could make waffles or eggs."

His kitchen is much better stocked then mine.

"Um, then I want waffles please."

"You got it."

I sit at the table because I can see him from here and he reaches into a cabinet and grabs a box of pancake mix.

A bowl, spoon, measuring cup and waffle iron appear and then he opens the box.

It's new and he pulls the full bag up a little bit so that he can get a good grip on it.

Then he pulls. Too hard.

Pancake mix erupts like Mt. Vesuvius and flies through the air, covering half the kitchen.

"Careful He-man," I joke, trying not to breathe it in or laugh too hard.

"You're only supposed to be rough with me, Emmett, not with everything."

He was pissed but now he's smiling and he sits down next to me.

He has mix in his hair, on his shoulders and all over his shirt.

"You made a mess."

"Yes I did. Let me get this cleaned up real quick and I'll see if there's enough left to make some waffles."

He brings out the vacuum and then wipes down most of the surfaces in the kitchen.

"I'm gonna need a shower, I think."

I'm not arguing, he's right.

"I can make the waffles."

"No, damn it, you're gonna let me take care of you a little bit before you run away back to the big, bad world."

Not arguing with that either.

"Okay, I'll wait."

While he's gone I think about his big, bad world comment and I realize that it's Sunday and I should be in mass.

I've missed a few weeks lately and after yesterday I probably need it more than ever.

I can still make the late mass if I leave after breakfast and I have a suit here.

Yes, I should go, it'll do me good.

"Back, let's make some waffles."

He was quick.

The waffles don't take long either and he gives me the first one.

I'm halfway done when he sits down and I tell him that I want to leave in about half an hour so I can make it to mass.

"I have no problem with you going to church Finnegan, none but I was hoping we'd talk today. I think we need to. Any chance you want to come back afterwards? I wasn't expecting that and honestly I should just go home because I've monopolized most of his weekend but he's asking and I don't want to go back to my apartment. Work is going to suck this week because of my Monday being all screwed up and even though I am sexually more than satisfied, I still want to be with him.

"If you want. Sure you're not tired of me yet?"

"Not at all, darling."

"Okay then, I will... I'll be gone two, two and a half hours or so?" 

I have no idea what traffic will be like on a Sunday.

"That's fine. Now that you've agreed to come back I have to warn you that I'm going to my dad and stepmom's for dinner. You're welcome to come or not and you can spend the night or not. Whatever you need, Finnegan."

Well that complicates things. 

"Parental units is a big step, Emmett. Can I decide after church?"

"Yep. I'm going to the grocery store, do you want anything?"

"More waffle mix?" I offer.

"Yes, smart Alec, I will get more waffle mix. Anything else? Anything you'd like for snacks or for supper this week?"

"Um, I like popcorn a lot. Whatever you make is always yummy." 

That's probably not super helpful. 

"Can I give you some money for groceries?  Please? It's not fair for you to buy it all and then do the cooking too, Emmett. Please?"

"Fine, if you wanna toss me twenty dollars I'll put it towards groceries but that's it, you've gotta stop offering."

Not happening. 

I kiss him quickly on his cheek and then run upstairs to change. 

On my way out I leave one hundred on the coffee table and remind myself to stop by an ATM on the way back so I have cash for lunches this week.

[sie-rui]

heyyy I wanted to say that I love your writings !! and i would like to ask for some headcanons of mikey, mitsuya, draken and whoever u want with an air headed s/o please 💭💭have a good day

❀ HEAD IN THE CLOUDS | TOKYO REVENGERS 🤍 sano manjiro, mitsuya takashi, ryuuguji ken 💿 gender neutral, second pov (you/your), fluff, humor, established relationship, au - everyone lives / nobody dies, headcanon 📅 august 28, 2021 🔗 masterlist

the boys' s/o is quite airheaded. it's adorable. they're adorable together.

. . . SANO MANJIRO

☆ This couple is dumb and dumber.

☆ Yeah, I know Mikey can be smart and all (in some situations) but most of the time, he just gives off dumb bitch who’ll hit anything that moves vibes.

☆ You mention something incredibly stupid and Mikey will agree without a second thought, genuinely thinking that yup, that’s about it.

☆ Imagine Draken just sitting there, scrambling for brain cells because the two of you clearly don’t have a single one if your conversation about birds were any indication.

☆ It’s like the two of you get sick if you don’t do stupid shit together or talk about something extremely childish (or questionable) that betrays your age.

☆ Shinichiro looks on, wondering if this was truly it, if this was truly the future. He quite likes you though.

☆ One of the most questionable conversations that you two had was in middle school, about Mexico.

"So is New Mexico a part of Mexico then?" "It's New Mexico so there must be two Mexicos. The old one and the new one."

☆ Or perhaps when the two of you had a discussion about ice when you were sipping on iced tea at their usual diner.

"But like… what is ice made of?"

☆ Everyone is ready to cry that Mikey had to think about how to answer that.

☆ Draken hopes that if you ever had a child together, it wouldn’t take after neither of you.

. . . MITSUYA TAKASHI

☆ Mitsuya has his life put together. He knows how to take care of his sisters, to cook and clean, he has amazing grades, he’s a devoted captain of Toman, he also has perfect attendance, an active president of his club, and he knows who he wants to be in the future.

☆ You were, quite frankly, a mess compared to him.

☆ Mitsuya loved you either way.

☆ You fretting around, trying to wrap your head around something you aren’t used to, is actually quite entertaining, he finds.

☆ He just loves teaching you things, from right to wrong. He’s quite experienced in that, considering that he has little sisters.

"But whyyy??" "Because that's how historians put it." "But those guys are dead anyway."

☆ Mitsuya finds that you were always ready to learn more from him.

☆ He does worry though that you’ll listen to whatever people say, even the bad and wrong ones.

☆ Somehow, everyone could see, he coddles on you.

☆ You’re quite foolish and oblivious so you’ll see that Mitsuya is often by your side, bringing you to almost everywhere. No one ever comments on it but even a little child could pick up on it soon enough.

☆ Mitsuya loves you for who you are and he isn’t going to let anyone make fun of you for that.

. . . RYUUGUJI KEN

☆ Draken is surrounded by idiots.

☆ He wonders if that was the reason why he chose you. Out of all the people he could have fallen for, he fell for you.

☆ It’s not that you’re ignorant or you think that you’re always right, it’s just that you genuinely don’t know. You can answer school questions just fine but there’s always a bigger world outside education—one that you aren’t quite ready for.

☆ So Draken watches you as you study and realizes that you’re smart in everything else but the world.

☆ He almost chokes when you come up to him, telling him that you've been looking for your glasses for twenty minutes (it's on your head) but then also ace the mathematics exam the next day.

"No, I’m pretty sure the south is backwards." "South is to your right if you're facing the rising, and south is to your left if you're facing the setting sun." "But why does it change?" "What do you mean why? Do you even go outside your house??"

☆ Draken will literally fight anyone that tries to give you wrong information because he knows that you would believe it wholeheartedly in your eagerness to learn.

☆ Sometimes, it feels as if you’re more innocent than a child when it comes to real-life problems.

☆ Ever since he met you, it’s as if he’s become a mix of softness and exasperation because there are times it becomes laughable and adorable and there are times when he’s just ready to give up with his life.

☆ Either way, he loves you and he tries to learn everything he could when he has time to help you out.

☆ Draken still thinks that this is probably Mikey’s fault to exposing him to such idiocy that he’s gotten too used to it.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers mikey #mikey x reader #mikey #manjiro sano #manjirou x reader #sano manjiro #sano manjirou #sano manjiro x reader #manjiro x you #tokyo revengers mitsuya #mitsuya takashi x reader #mitsuya x reader #mitsuya takashi #mitsuya #tokyo revengers draken #draken x reader #draken #ryuuguji ken #ken ryuuguji #ryuuguji ken x reader #ryuuguji ken headcanon

[celamoon]

Warnings: Crackfic...? almost? abuse victim, nsfw jokes. please be warned

Pronouns: They/them

Summary: Y/n L/n the unhinged genius of Vyn's patients. A mentally unstable being, the result of the Flora X testing. The same unhinged being that was let into the NXX to lead the searching for the drug.

Prompt: This post by @papellie (Ty for the prompt bestie <3)

Vyn did not have any patients he considered impossible. Well, almost none. He had Y/n L/n, the very unhinged chaos that considered his hardest patient. Someone whom one of his old friends had dropped into his hands because they were an impossible case.

Vyn only took the hardest cases, and you seemed to be the worst of his patients.

"Vynnie!" The patient grins at the sight of their favourite doctor. "Vynnie are you here to shove my medicine down my throat again? How about this time you shove your fingers down my throat-"

"Good afternoon Y/n," Vyn ignores your question. "We've changed your medication to a liquid."

"A liquid?" They tilt their head. "But water isn't a medication?"

"There are many more liquids other than water," Vyn smiles while pouring your medicine.

"Do bodily fluids count?"

"They do,"

"So like cu-"

"Drink up," Vyn shoves the cup to them, and they gag at the smell.

"It smells like the flora drug my previous doctors used to force down my throat," they mumble before downing it in one gulp. "You should really add some sugar or honey to the medicine Vinnie, it tastes disgusting."

Vyn freezes at the familiar name.

"What did you just say?"

"That you should really add some sugar or honey Vynnie," They grin.

"Before that."

"The medication smells like the flora drug I used to be forced to take as a child?" They tilt their head.

"Do you know what that drug was called?" Vyn raises a brow.

"Flora... X? Flora X," You mumble. "FLORA X!! Vynnie are you proud of me?"

Vyn's eyes widen in realization. No wonder you were so unhinged, you had been taking the very medication that was made illegal years ago. Which meant you were a lead into one of the dark pasts of Stellis.

"Say Y/n... if I were to let you out of the ward every once in a while... would you be willing to behave?"

"Vynnie I'm about as stable as a paper clip standing up straight." They blink innocently.

Vyn sighs. He would need to discuss with the NXX team about it.

"Which is... why I suddenly think we have a lead on the medication." Vyn concludes.

"Well that sounds reasonable to let her in," Rosa is the first to speak up. "She does have the lead we need,"

"But she's unhinged," Artem cuts in. "She might cause chaos."

"I mean as long as Vyn keeps her calm I think she could give us some useful information,"

"Why can't you just ask her?" Luke asks.

Vyn sighs. "I can't force anything out of her unless she says it herself."

"Is it in the contract?" Marius raises a brow.

"Yes."

"Then just let her join," Marius shrugs. "It's always so serious in here, having someone unhinged might crack some jokes every now and the...n?"

The other three glare at him.

"Well I think we can try meeting her in my office once to see if it works," Rosa pipes up.

"I..."

"Let's meet her in her psych ward," Vyn sighs. "I don't want her to trash your place."

Which brought us to today.

"Vynnie!" Thye grin. "You brought your friends!"

"They're associates," Vyn sighs. "Y/n meet MC, Luke, Artem, and Marius."

"That's second gen richie, law boi, and bestie," You point at Marius, Artem and MC. "That last one looks like a golden retriever."

The four look at Vyn and he sighs.

"Y/n they're here to discover more about the drug you took when young. Apparently it stops brain growth and has depressive side effects."

"OOOh is that why I tried to kill myself with a plastic cup last time?"

"She did whAT-?"

"Perhaps. It could also explain why you're my patient." Vyn smiles.

"That's right! Vynnie only takes the worst of the worst! ...You have really bad taste Vynnie. I'd rather be with the mentally stable," they shrug.

"Ah so Y/n?"

"Yes bestie?"

MC flushes a soft pink. "Do you remember much about the drug you used to take?"

"Uh so I think the tablets were pink at first, and then they successfully changed it to white... I could recreate it for you if you want? But only for you bestie, Vynnie is too mean." They pout.

Vyn sighs and the other three turn to look at him.

"re...create it?"

"Well they recruited me as a scientist first so I know the basic components of the drug but then they locked me up to force the medicine down my throat. It tasted ok but I think I lost control each time I had some-" They mumble. "Oh and of course I ran away and then some random man caught me and sent me to Vynnie's. He wasn't that bad though, he fed me some good food-"

"Wait wait," Vyn steps forward. "You know the components of the drug?"

"It tasted like the medicine you fed me the other day Vynnie," They grumble. "I also remember that the lab had really pretty water next to it. I think I ran down a hill to escape them."

The five look at each other and then MC speaks up.

"Y/n,"

"Yes bestie?"

"If we let you come with us, will you help us gather information?"

Artem frowns and you catch it.

"Law boi doesn't seem very happy about me coming along."

"Your mind works incredibly but the drug seems to have limited you." Vyn steps up. "I'll give you a nice room to live in."

"Idk Vynnie, sounds like bribery to me," They shrug.

"I'll bake for you-"

"Sold." they're glowing.

'... that easy?' they all sweat at your quick response.

"So all I have to do is gather information right?"

"We need to find out where the village is-"

"Up on a hill. Really tasty fish... uh crystal clear water and then I think I bumped into a crashed car on my way down the hill." You mumble. "I think the place started with O-"

"Opaline Village." Luke speaks up. "Is that it?"

"I think so~" you smile. "So Vynnie... when do I get to move out?"

"If you behave well the next three days I can get you out by the end of the week."

Your eyes glimmer.

You're an incredible actress, and an even better hacker apparently. Luke gave you three lessons on basic hacking and you broke into the Pax firewall quicker than he could.

"Ok so what now?"

"Can you get the locked files?"

"These?"

You even printed them out.

The group could only call you an unhinged genius from that point on.

"Your codename will be Flora."

"Wow you really named me after a drug huh Vynnie-" That earned you a smack in the head.

"King I can you order takeout?"

"Not to here-"

"Then to somewhere nearby! I'm hungry!" You reach for the knife in your drawer.

"ADJUCATOR!" Marius calls before you can end him.

Vyn shoves a pastry into your mouth and you continue working.

"We're heading to Opaline village today," MC and Luke tell you.

"Samples are in the third drawer in the fourth room after you turn left bestie~!" You sing.

What the hell?

"Vynnie what's for dinner,"

"What would you like?"

"Revenge," You blink.

"Rosa's working on that." He hums. "Food wise?"

"You-"

"I'm not edible," He deadpans.

"No but your-"

"I'll order pizza," Marius groans. You had been pulling all nighters in the office to crack down the firewall to the other files.

"Artie can you grab me a coffee on your way here?" You're on the phone with Artem now.

Vyn snatches the phone and sighs. "Don't get them any. They've been awake for nearly 72 hours now. I want them to crash asleep before they crash dead,"

"AWW VYNNIE CARES FOR ME!!!" You grin cheekily.

Artem brought you hot tea instead.

Then MC and Luke came back. You stood with the others as they watched MC get kissed by Huey. The child then ran up to you and hugged you.

"Thank you for teaching me how to break the firewall..."

The other five turned to you in shock.

"Love you Huey. Remember not to hack anyone unless you absolutely have to," You kissed him on the forehead. "Be good in school alright?"

"Okay..." He smiles.

Since when were you good with kids??

"So uh... we found the files," MC handed you papers and you grinned.

"My medical notes!"

What kind of Harley Quinn shit is this?

"So... what kind of abuse did they exactly go through?" Vyn stands next to MC as they watch you fight Marius.

"The files we read said that apparently at first they were fed the drug inside of their meal. Eventually they were locked up in a prison cell and turned into a complete test subject. They skipped three meals before they ran away." MC mumbles. "It's really sad."

Luke pulls you off of Marius and Artem hands you your morning coffee.

"Only you're dependable out of you all Artie..." You sigh blissfully after a sip. "Only you..."

Vyn's eyebrow twitches at the comment. MC can only look in amusement.

"Y/n you need to take a break." Vyn sighs.

"I get a break when I get revenge on that bitch who started drugging my food," You hiss.

"Even if I bake?"

"Depends what it is," You continue clicking, and you're focused.

"Then..." Vyn can't get himself to say it.

"Let's bet then," You mumble. "I break the firewall in the next hour you go on a date with me, if I don't then you can drag me to bed."

Vyn sighs. "Deal." He was really powerless compared to you.

Sure enough in 30 minutes, a cheer erupted in the headquarters. It sounded like your voice with Luke's.

"WE BROKE IN WE BROKE IN RAVEN WE BROKE IN!!!!" You screamed, your voice was hoarse from the lack of water.

The two of you are in an embrace, and Vyn's eyebrows twitch again.

"The all nighters..." Luke cries. "We did it..."

"VYNNIE YOU OWE ME A DATE!" You cried.

Vyn can only sigh. "When would you like to go out?"

You stand up, and you make your way to him.

"When I wake up." You proceed to crash dead onto the bed next to him. The NXX team then panicked for the next ten minutes because Marius thought you stopped breathing.

You slept for three days.

The NXX thought you died. Then you woke up and acted as though you didn't just die for 3 days.

"Good morning bestie," You're back on your computer again.

"Y/n you shouldn't be back on your computer after dropping dead for three days." MC panics. "Besides, Y/n you're going on a date today with Vyn right?"

"Yeah," You yawn.

"Do you want to dress up?" You strut to your closet.

"Oh look," You throw your closet door open. Lingerie and t-shirts and shorts. "Ah here's a decent outfit."

You toss together some clothes, and MC smiles. "Would you like me to help you with your hair?"

"Sure. Thank you MC," You smile.

The epitome of gender envy. Damn bestie you looked hot.

Vyn arrives a couple minutes after you finish getting ready.

"Vynnie!"

"It's... been a while since I've seen you dressed up," Vyn smiles. "Shall we go?"

You grin as he leads you to his car.

"What would you like to do?" Vyn peers at you.

"Can we bake at your place?" you fumble in your seat.

"Sure," He smiles. "What would you like to make?"

"Macarons?"

"Those are pretty hard Y/n... you sure?" He raises a brow at you.

"If I can hack a firewall then I can bake macarons." you grinned.

So turns out that was a lie.

"Vynnie ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚ " You whined. "Help me!"

"You didn't beat the egg whites enough," Vyn grabs the bowl from your arms and you rest your head on your palm.

"Vynnie the male wife..." You peered at him. "Vynnie would you marry me-?"

Clang

Vyn's caught off guard and drops the metal bowl. His glasses slide down slightly, and his lips are parted in shock.

"Sorry Vynnie," You reach over the counter to help him fix his glasses, and you beat the egg whites yourself. "Must've scared you out of your mind."

"No no," Vyn regains his composure and smiles.

"Dedication is hard," You mumble. "People change after time, and changes vary from person to person... betrayal plagues a person, and people that you once loved no longer love you back. Which is why Vynnie doesn't want to date right?"

Vyn pauses, and you hum in satisfaction.

"Ooh the egg whites are stiff." You turn the bowl upside down on top of your head and grin. "Shall we mix the two together?"

"Let me," Vyn folds the mixture in, and you hum. "Vynnie do you like MC?"

Vyn nearly drops the bowl again. He just couldn't get a break from your remarks. "Why are you asking?"

"When you came to pick me up your pulse was quicker than usual." You mumble. "Then when we got in the car and out of MC's sight your pulse slowed"

Vyn stops to stare at you now. "Is that why you were holding my wrist?"

"Luke taught me," You mumble. "To read people better."

"Unfortunately your hypothesis is wrong," Vyn smiles. "My heart did not quicken because of MC."

"Huh," You mumble.

"Could you help me put the batter in the piping bag?"

"Sure," You open a piping bag, and you open it for him to put the batter in. "Can I do the piping?"

"Sure," Vyn finishes filling in the bag, and you pipe the batter onto the tray.

"Vynnie why did your heartbeat go up then?"

Vyn stares at you. "Because I got to see you dressed up,"

You stumble and nearly mess up on a macaron shell.

"Vynnie teasing me isn't funny," You pout. Vyn smiles as he rests his cheek on his hand.

"But I was being honest," He beams at you.

"Vynnie!"

"Alright two hours"

"DON'T JUST CHANGE THE SUBJECT-"

"Siri please set a two hour timer-"

"VYNNIE!!!"

#vyn richter x reader #vyn richter #vyn x reader #tears of themis #vyn richter imagine #tears of themis x reader #tears of themis fanfiction #tot #My browser crashed halfway through writing this and I'm telling you I cried #also please be warned this is really long #ARGH MY PROGRESS WAS DELTED AGAIN AGHHHH #MY ENTIRE FIRST HALF #KILL ME #tot x reader

[robinofgothamcity]

♡ prompt: "Do you want me to hurt him?" / inspired by 'telephone' by lady gaga

♡ pairing: bart allen ( impulse ) x fem! reader

♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes / my schedule is going to become more sporadic starting next week :/ i'm going to keep the warning up until next week.

"Bart, shut up," you said, jokingly pushing him. he laughed, handing you the ice cream, "what? I'm serious! I just think that mint chocolate is better. if you have just mint, it'll taste like toothpaste and if you have just chocolate, it's too sweet so mint chocolate is a good even ground," he explained.

you felt your phone vibrate as Jinny spoke up, talking about how Bart and Connor shared one brain cell outside of the field. looking down to see who was ringing you, you saw that it was your god forsaken boyfriend for the 100th time.

"oooo, who is that?" Bart asked, looking over to your phone. he read the wall of text you had received but you quickly shut your phone off, not bothering to read it, "you gonna answer that?" he asked, a small bit of jealousy bubbling up inside him.

"don't really feel like it," you quickly said, trying to remain off that topic. Bart, clearly annoyed, snatched your phone and put it in his pocket, "than let's forget about him, right?" he asked, putting on his annoyed fake smile.

Tim and Jinny saw the very irritated face Bart had and looked to each other as they shook their heads, "those two I swear," Jinny huffed out in annoyance. "more like ( your name )," he replied, "Bart could admit his feelings to her face and she still wouldn't do anything about that horrid boyfriend of hers."

the two of them stifled giggles from each other as they watched the two of you continue to flirt openly. it was no secret to anyone on the team. it was very clear to everyone on the YJ team, the Titans, even the JLA knew that the two of you liked each other....a lot but it was that stupid boyfriend of yours that got in the way of Bart ever truly expressing his feelings for you.

"what is everyone's plans after this?" you asked the team as they all murmured different answers, indicating that they were all busy. you sighed, trying not go straight up at the moment because you knew that you'd have to deal with your boyfriends calls when you got there, "I'll stay out with ya!" Bart replied as he saw the empty park bench.

you gave him a grin, "thanks Allen. you're a life saver," you exclaimed, waving everyone off goodbye. you walked to the bench, Bart following right behind you as Bart felt your phone ringing again.

there had been a scarce few times where you did call Bart with your boyfriend problems. it was usually late at night. probably inching near three in the morning when you called him sobbing, asking him if you deserved to go through the bullshit you were dealing with your boyfriend.

Bart always felt himself getting angry whenever he received those calls. you sounded so heartbroken, tired, and emotional. he was always there to help pick you back up but not even a few days later, you were back with him, telling Bart that your boyfriend needed you now more than ever.

"he's still angry that you're hanging out with me? do you want me to hurt him?" he asked, finally taking your phone out of your pocket. you nodded, rolling your eyes, "Bart no. he thinks that my 'job' is taking too much time away from him and I being together. I swear, it's like hearing a broken record. one minute, he's mad and wants to break up and the next second, he's at my door asking for forgiveness," you explained, frustrated.

Bart squeezed your hand, tapping his fingers on top yours, "you know what you need to do," he replied, giving you a serious look. you stared at him, biting your lip, "it's hard, Bart. he's going through a lot and I'll feel guilty if I just leave him," you whispered taking his hand and holding it.

"you literally fight villains for a living and you're scared of that? you know you deserve more," Bart said, "and I've seen the way you look at other girls who decide to flirt with me," he joked, trying to break the tension. "shut up, it's not even like that," you lied, making Bart even laugh more. "but seriously, you know it's not secret that I like you." you sighed, not knowing what to say as you put your head on his shoulder.

the silence wasn't exactly awkward but it wasn't comfortable either. there had been multiple times when Bart had told you his true feelings for you and every time he did, you responded with a hum or a 'okay Bart'.

it wasn't that you didn't accept his true feelings. it was far from that. you actually did like the speedster but you knew Bart could do a lot better. you knew Bart deserved someone who actually deserved him and that person wasn't you. you weren't as cute or funny as he was. he deserved someone like Cassie. smart, funny, and cute.

+

the YJ tower was completely empty aside from you and Bart. everyone was out doing their own thing. Tim and Connor were at their respective homes. Jinny and Amethyst were out doing god knows what meanwhile Keli and Cassie had gone to the movies to watch a film they both had been dying to see so that just left you and Bart in the lair to do as you pleased.

"Bart, hand me the remote," you said lazily. he handed it to you as you turned it off, getting up and stretching yourself out. Bart stared at you confused, "why'd you turn it off? I was watching that!" he exclaimed. you threw the remote across the couch and getting him up, "lets do something productive and make dinner or something," you replied enthusiastically.

Bart rolled his eyes but got up nonetheless. he followed you to the kitchen as you played music through the speakers that were built on the wall. "what're you making?" he asked, seeing you take out things that made no sense.

you looked over your options and realized you could make some kind of stew or a soup of some kind. "beef and gravy stew! we have enough things to make enough for the team and seconds for the both of us," you said, getting the things from the cupboards and having Bart start to chop every thing up.

you knew Bart was dumb but that didn't mean he wasn't a kick ass cook. there had been multiple times where he had made everyone dinner or dinner even for the two of you and it always turned out amazing. you dumped every thing that Bart had chopped up and proud it into the pot before grabbing a few things from the fridge and making the gravy that had to poured in. it didn't take long but the two of you had to wait until the pot boiled up in order for it to be ready.

the song 'telepatia' by Kali Uchis played over the speakers as you finally turned over to Bart and smiled, "we just need for it to boil and it'll be ready!" you exclaimed. he nodded as you started singing the song out loud. not particularly towards him but a warm feeling in his gut made him get butterflies as you continued.

"you know I'm just a flight away, if you want it, you can take a private plane."

you looked up to Bart, wanting to give him another smile but he quickly got rid of any questioning thoughts and went in for a kiss. you were taken back in surprise. this was the first time Bart had ever put his feelings forward and actually gave you a kiss.

his kisses were soft. they weren't rushed which was ironic considering all Bart was, was being fast and always on the move. you had placed your hands on his thighs as you made the kiss even deeper. it took you a few seconds to register what you were doing when alarms rang off in your head. you had a boyfriend and by continuing to kiss Bart, you were technically cheating on him.

"Bart no, I can't," you murmured, pushing yourself off of him. he gave you a defeated look, understanding where you coming from, "I'm sorry," you replied, going back to the food and trying to forget that you even made the move to reciprocate the kiss. in the back of your mind though, knew it that kiss meant that you had fell for Bart and hard.

+

"I have to head home, it's getting late and we patrol tomorrow night so I think it's best we head back," you whispered knowing you'd have to deal with your stingy boyfriend when you got home. Bart gave your hand one more squeeze before getting up, "see you later," Bart murmured, getting the inkling feeling that he'd probably receive a phone call tonight from you.

you nodded, making your way towards your apartment. you had a fuck ton of messages from your boyfriend and over ten missed calls by the time you sat comfortably in your couch. you finally dialed him back, instantly getting a bunch of curse words thrown at you for not picking up.

it felt like hours when the two of you finally stopped arguing with each other. it ended with you in tears and your voice hoarse as you had finally grown the nerve to break up with him. you knew for your mental health that it was time to do it and truthfully, your feelings for Bart were growing more and more every time you saw him. there was no point in continuing the relationship if you were no longer having feelings for him and although you felt guilty by doing it, you ripped it off like a band aid.

you grabbed your phone and clicked on Bart's number. Bart on the other hand shifted in his bed, seeing your contact light up his phone. he groggily picked it up, "hey," he said in that sleepy tone of his. you hiccuped, trying to control your tears, "can you come over?" you whispered, the crack of thunder scaring you shitless, "I really need someone right now."

Bart sighed, telling you to give him a minute before hanging up. Bart had no idea how many more of these late night sleepovers he had left in him. he sped over to your place, grabbing the secret key from the back of the broken piece of wood that was attached to your door frame. he opened it, seeing you sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee in one hand and your hiccups still overcoming your body.

"what's wrong?" he asked. you stared at him, tears instantly rushing down your face, "I deserve to be happy right?" he nodded almost immediately, "than why do I feel so shitty because I broke up with him?" you asked.

Bart stared at you, not believing what he was hearing. you had finally broken up with that shitty boyfriend and he was the first person you contacted.

"because that's what manipulative people do ( your name )," he whispered, "they make you feel like shit for things that you didn't even do. you're perfect and he didn't deserve you or anyone like you. especially you though," he joked, bracing you even harder for a hug. he knew it would be wrong to try and make a move but gave you a kiss on the top of your head and whispered nothing but supportive things into your ear as you tried to calm yourself down.

the rain happening outside and Bart's words were lulling you to sleep as Bart hadn't even realized that you were passing out on his side. it wasn't until you hadn't moved that Bart realized you were not longer awake. he grabbed your body, lifting you up bridal style before making his way to your room.

he placed you down on your bed with every intention of just letting you sleep and him heading home but you grabbed onto his body, sleepily saying that he was going to stay here. you hadn't even said it as a question but more as a statement. he didn't argue with it; however, and he had thankfully came over in his pajamas as he scooted you over a bit and crawled in.

you smiled softly, hugging him instantly and passing out once again. Bart placed a small kiss on the top of your head before whispering into your ear, "you'll be mine one day, didn't I tell you that?" he murmured before trying to fall back asleep.

#dc comics #dc x reader #dc imagine #dc #bart allen x you #bart allen imagine #bart allen x reader #bart allen #impulse imagine #impulse x reader #impulse #comics #fics

[hanniejji]

the last yakisoba

[ chifuyu matsuno x gn!s/o ]

summary: a trip to the convenience store isn't supposed to be a cliche first meet up, not when you're both sleep deprived and hungry and there's only one peyoung yakisoba left

note: i've come to realize what fuyu's eye color is. i keep calling it blue-green when it's simply called cyan… im dumb | m.list

words: 774 | warnings: none

freedom. something you're finally granted with after countless sleepless nights.

weeks of studying for the finals drained the life out of you and taking the damn exam itself made you feel like a zombie, just wandering around dead with no sense of direction.

but that's all in the past!

you yeeted your exam papers done, zoomed out of the classroom and went home, changed into some comfy clothes, and plopped yourself into your bed. by the time you passed out from exhaustion, it was five o'clock in the afternoon. you spent the rest of the evening asleep until you woke up from the sound of dogs barking outside at two in the morning.

to say you were hungry was an understatement.

you were starving and the only cure to your zombie-like state is to stuff yourself with food and snacks.

that's how you found yourself roaming the convenience store a few blocks away from your house—wearing only a random hoodie, pajama, and your soft cotton slippers—grabbing whatever snack you pass by on your way to the drinks. after filling your basket with your desired snacks, you abruptly stop in front of the instant food aisle, staring at the last package of peyoung yakisoba.

"i guess you're my late dinner tonight," you said to yourself, throwing it in the basket filled with snacks.

turning on your heels to the counter, a low boyish voice called out to you, stopping you from your track.

"uhm, excuse me?"

you turn to see a boy, doesn't seem to look older than you—you're pretty sure you've seen him in school before but your brain cells are not functioning properly at two in the morning. he has very pretty cyan eyes, they're kinda droopy from sleepiness and have dark circles under them—who doesn't anyway? his blonde hair is messy, the front hair lazily tied in an attempt to keep in from covering his eyes, and he looks like he's been through some rough shit—again, who doesn't?

honestly speaking, he still looks good even in that state, you thought.

"yes?"

"was that… the last one of them?" he shyly points the package of peyoung yakisoba on top of the numerous snacks in your basket.

"oh," you sadly smiled at his defeated look, "yeah, it's the last one."

"oh man," he whines, throwing his head back to wallow in self pity. you chuckle at the pout on his face, he kinda looks like a kicked puppy now.

"would you like to have it?"

"huh?" his eyes widened in surprise at the offer, now fully awake before shaking his head, "no no it's ok! you got to it first. there's another store a few streets away from here anyway, i can just go buy there," he says, but you can see how he takes a few quick glances at the package.

"well, i have a variety of snacks with me right now, surely one less snack won't hurt me," you hand him the package, "besides, you look like you really need a 'pick me up' food," you point out, poking his chest with the yakisoba.

"oh… but," his head turned down to look at the package, "i heard you said you haven't had dinner yet…"

what?

you weren't fast enough to stop the laugh from escaping your mouth, watching him glare at you with another pout on his face. his cheeks are tinted with a slight pink, showcasing his embarrassment.

"let's share it then."

"what?"

"what?"

i think the lack of sleep is getting to me.

you didn't know what came to your mind when you said that. sharing food with a stranger isn't your type of thing, but if the stranger looks this handsome, what could go wrong? besides, he doesn't look like he'll try and do something bad to you, right? if he did, then that's a consequence you'll worry about later. don't do this please djskd stay cautious around strangers!

"a-are you sure?" he rubs the nape of his neck, his eyes glancing back and forth at you and the tiled floor.

"i could really use some company," you bashly said as an excuse, "we can just tell the lady at the counter to get it ready, then we can eat at the tables in front of the store. whaddya say?"

he seemed to go silent for a few seconds, before a small smile appeared on his face, eyes a bit more alive than earlier.

"sure."

"also, if i'm going to share my snacks with you, can i know your name?"

"oh! i'm sorry, my name's chifuyu!"

"hm, i'm y/n. have i seen you before? you kinda look familiar."

#chifuyu matsuno #tokyo revengers #tokyo revenger #tokyorev #tokyo revengers scenarios #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers chifuyu #tokyo revengers fanfiction #tokyorev x reader #tokyorev chifuyu #tokyorev imagines #chifuyu matsuno x reader #chifuyu x y/n #chifuyu imagines #chifuyu x reader #chifuyu headcanons #honey writes

[freakynct]

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: sub college student!yangyang, mentions of bullying, slight angst, oral sex, very slight mommy kink, fingering, pegging, praising, slight degradation

"hey beautiful, looking real good today." yangyang said, chuckling along with his asshole group of friends while eyeing you down as he passed by you in the hall. you never understood why he wanted to be associated with people like that, going around pretending like he only had two brain cells. you knew him since middle school. you grew up in the same neighbourhood and everyone saw him as the sweet cute kid that always helped and befriended everybody. because he really was. but once he got into college everything changed. you guessed the pressure of wanting to fit in and being afraid of getting left out scared him and he felt like he had to mold to the likings of the college assholes to be somebody. but you knew better. you knew who he really was and you were the only person he could not fool. and all thanks to the tutoring lessons you gave him in algebra. he could be as much of an asshole as he wanted on campus but once he was inside your dorm, you made the rules. and that cheesy line from earlier would serve him right tonight.

you looked at the clock, marking a quarter past six. normally at this time your roommate would be studying in the library, which would give you some privacy for yangyang's tutoring lesson. and only a couple minutes later, there he was knocking on the door. you opened up, revealing a wet haired yangyang, fresh from the shower, carrying his basketball equipment bag on his shoulder still.

"you're late." you simply said as he kept his head low, his wet bangs dangling over his forehead and hiding his eyes under them. 

"practice ran late. not my fault." you liked this. he was still trying to put up a front and act tough.

"just come in." you stepped aside, letting him enter your room and set his things on the bed. now that he was standing a little further away you could take a closer look at him. he wore baggy basketball shorts with an oversized sweater that gave him the cutest sweater paws, white ankle socks and his black and white skechers d'lites. you never got tired of seeing him wearing this. it was in fact your favorite outfit on him, made him look even tinier.

"brought your books?" you asked, setting yours on your desk as yangyang sat on your bed.

"mhm." was all he murmured as he unpacked his books from his backpack. you chuckled at his behavior, stepping closer to him slowly, watching as he followed your footsteps with his eyes, his body frozen in place until you were standing right in front of him and that's when his head lifted up carefully, his big shiny eyes looking up at you in a mix of confusion and neediness.

"i liked that line you used this morning. very charming." you smirked, watching him quickly look away but being stopped by your hand on his chin, squeezing his cheeks together and forcing him to look at you. "what is it? you're getting shy now, xiao yang (little sheep)? you were so confident with your friends, what happened?" you could see the red tone building up on his cheeks and even though you were holding his head in place, his eyes still couldn't look at you, wandering around the room and shyly avoiding eye contact. you chuckled, finally letting go of his chin and dropping to your knees so you could be at the same level with him. your hands slowly raised up his thighs and you felt him squirm and shiver, noticing how his eyes would look down at you and immediately drive away as soon as you made eye contact, his bangs still hanging freely on his forehead.

"can we start studying?" he mumbled, almost inaudible if the room wasn't so quiet, his stare fixed on the dark wooden floor.

"well that's a first." you answered surprised, your fingers dipping under his shorts and caressing his thighs. "you always prefer to do something else. what's wrong, xiao yang?" you cooed at him sweetly but was caught by surprise when yangyang suddenly moved your hands away, getting up more quickly than you could react.

"can you stop? lets just study, ok?" you could tell that he was angry but his voice was weak, almost breaking at the last part and you realized that he was on the verge of tears. your heart ached inside your chest and this was the first time that you didn't know what to do. he stood by your desk with his back turned to you, flipping the pages of the algebra book as if looking for something but only paying attention to not letting you see how red his eyes were turning.

"yang..." you softly called out, getting up and walking slowly towards him. "really, what happened?" you didn't dare touch him or come any nearer, afraid that it would only make him more upset.

"it's just... it doesn't matter what i do, it's never good enough." his voice trembled and you saw the wet mark on the white page where his tear had landed and suddenly you felt like crying too. "i'll never be one of them." he sniffed, his finger nervously playing with the edge of the page.

"what did those jerks do?" this time you moved forward, placing your hand on the back of his head and gently caressing his hair while you stood by him, your eyes trying to read any facial expression from him. he stood quiet, a knot forming on his throat and all he could do was stare at the useless book in front of him. "yang... have they been bullying you?" you tried to be as gentle as possible, your hand sliding down his neck and your thumb caressing his cheek lightly, not letting another tear fall from his face. he just nodded at your statement and you sighed. it was as if you could feel his pain and nothing could hurt you more than that. "xiao yang, look at me please." you asked softly, drawing him closer to you, his red shiny eyes looking shyly at you. "you're so special. and sweet... so sweet." you whispered the last word, yangyang's eyes closing as he felt your hands gently grabbing the sides of his face and the tip of your nose touching his. "they don't deserve a boy like you." his warm breath made you feel at home and you felt him relaxing under your touch, placing his hands shyly over your waist. not another word had to be said as your lips softly touched each other, feeling each other's presence before connecting in a passionate yet slow kiss.

as you moved away you saw his eyes sparkling back at you, this time not from his tears but from excitement. "please." he whispered, his head leaning forward in search of your lips again but you just gave him a warm smile, your hand coming up to run through his brown hair.

"are you sure? don't want you to feel like we have to do anything." you reassured him but he just moved closer, his arms tightening around your body and his head nodding softly.

"yes... i really want you... please." his words were getting desperate and you could feel his fingers pressing harder over your waist in anticipation. if it was any other day you would’ve teased him for longer but after what he had told you, you decided he deserved to get exactly what he was asking for so sweetly. 

“come here.” you smiled warmly at him, taking his half covered hand in yours and pulling him gently towards your bed, inviting him to sit on it. in just a matter of seconds you were both back in the position from earlier, yangyang sitting shyly on your bed as you kneeled in front of him, your hands caressing his thighs as his eyes wandered in excitement. 

you chuckled as he reached down to kiss you one more time and you loved how desperate he gets when you touch him and the deceiving innocent look on his eyes that makes the little puddle on your panties grow.

"what if we try something new today?" you smirked up at him, your fingers slowly wandering under the hem of his basketball shorts, feeling his thighs tensing up at the question. 

"uhm, like what?" his voice was unsure but deep down he was just as curious to find out what you had in mind. 

you dragged your hands over his stomach and chest until you reached his neck, cupping his face with both of your hands, and you noticed how his breathing got heavier as you moved your face closer to his. "have you ever been fucked, xiao yang?" you couldn't help but chuckle as you felt his cheeks burning up under your palms and his eyes immediately trying to avoid yours. 

"y-yes, you do it all the time." his voice came out as nothing more than a whisper and you held his chin in your hand, prompting him to look at you. 

"no yang, not like that. i mean, actually being fucked." you raised your eyebrows in a playful way and even yangyang couldn't help but smirk at your comment, chuckling softly as his cheeks turned a bright red color. 

"oh… in that case no, i haven't." you bit your lip in excitement, he looked so cute like this in front of you, the tips of his bangs still wet and sitting shyly on your bed, at your mercy. you could tell he was a bit nervous but he was intrigued by your idea. 

"do you want to?" you asked as your thumb slowly ran over his bottom lip, always so soft, and you had to fight against the urge to kiss him. he hesitantly looked at you and nodded his head softly. “you know nothing happens if you don’t use your words.” you said as you moved your thumb to caress his burning cheek.

“i want to.” it was his turn to bite his lip but this time more in nervousness than in excitement. “do you think it’s gonna hurt?” his fingers fidgeted with the hem of his shorts as he looked down but you were quicker to hold his head up.

“you know i would never hurt you, xiao yang. and we can stop whenever you want to.” you lifted yourself from the ground a little, planting a sweet kiss on his lips before looking in his eyes and murmuring “but something tells me you’re gonna love it.”

you smirked as you stepped away from him, leaving yangyang with his mouth slightly open examining your next move. 

“take your clothes off baby.” you said as you moved closer to one of your drawers, shuffling between your clothes as you heard yangyang behind you quietly removing his clothes as you asked. you turned around to be met by a half clothed yangyang, patiently sitting in your bed waiting for you, his hair all messy from undressing. “are you getting shy now? i meant all your clothes.” you chuckled as you slowly moved closer to him again. “or are you leaving that part to me, hm?” as he was about to answer your question, he was quickly distracted by what you held in your hand.

“is- is that a strap-on?” he almost whispered the last word as if it was a sin to say it out loud and you couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh at his innocence.

“of course. how do you pretend me to fuck you? i don’t have one of my own.” you chuckled and you watched as his cheeks returned to the bright red color that suited him so well.

“lock the door.” he quickly said, almost startling you and you rolled your eyes as you placed the strap-on next to him on the bed and walked to the door to do as he asked.

“you can relax yang, i already told you we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” you explained softly to him as you stepped in front of him again, smirking as you noticed the little bump under his underwear. “but it looks like you’re enjoying it already.” you smirked and as soon as he realized what you meant, his hands moved as fast as light to cover the evidence of his excitement, causing you to laugh.

“no one can know about this, ok?” he warned as he watched you start to strip away from your clothes until you were standing naked.

“why? are you scared your friends will make fun of you for liking to be fucked like a little slut?” you chuckled as he let his bangs cover the clear look of lust in his face but the growing boner inside his boxers gave everything away. 

before he could even say anything you moved to straddle his lap, your lips finding his in a passionate and intense kiss as if you hadn’t done it in a really long time. his hands shyly touched your thighs, his fingers although warm creating shivers down your body. his lips slipped from yours, hungrily kissing the skin of your neck, down to your collarbones until you were feeling his warm tongue evolving one of your nipples, sucking it in his mouth. you couldn’t help but roll your eyes back as your fingers intertwined with the freshly washed locks of his hair.

“hm, you’re such a good boy, i don’t even have to tell you what to do, do i?” he only hummed in response, too fixated on your breasts and how good they felt in his mouth. he had been thinking about this exact moment since last week when you were still in spring break but his mom had insisted he invited you over to his house to study but it’s needless to say you both ended up fucking in his childhood bedroom instead. his poor mom is probably still wondering how her son’s grades are still  so low when you two join up to study so much.

“i missed you so much.” he gasped as he finally let go of your nipple to look up to you, lips just as rosy and plump as his cheeks.

“i know you did xiao yang.” you pulled him in for a kiss before you stood up to grab the strap-on that patiently waited next to both of you. “and we’re gonna have so much fun, aren't we?” you smirked as you put it on, yangyang following your every move with his eyes and you were caught by surprise when you saw him falling to his knees in front of you, his eyes big and shiny and his tongue running through his lips. “what is it baby? you wanna suck it?” 

“yes please.” nothing could sound sweeter than yangyang begging and how could you say no when he’s kneeling so pretty in front of you. you didn’t need much convincing and he didn’t give you much time either as he stepped forward, his tongue shyly catching the tip of the strap-on, sucking it into his mouth and it didn’t take much time for him to have more and more of it inside is mouth, his cute little eyes fluttering shut as he tasted it and as your hand locked in his hair once again, incentivizing him to continue.

“i didn’t know you liked sucking dick this much.” you said biting your lip and you watched as his eyes opened for a little bit and he let the dildo slide away from his mouth.

“i like it when it’s yours mommy.” it wasn’t exaggerating to say that those words almost made you cum right there. he always had an impact on you that you couldn’t explain and before you could say anything in return he was back to wrapping his lips around the strap-on.

you let him have his fun for a few more minutes until you were pulling his hair back, ripping a whine out of him as the dildo fell from his mouth, a string of spit still attached to his bottom lip. you looked down and you chuckled as you noticed the little wet stain in his boxers.

“is that all excitement xiao yang? i bet you can’t wait to be fucked.” you helped him get up and moved him to the bed, laying him down gently as you kissed his now wet lips. you couldn’t help but move your hands down his torso until you were palming his boner over his underwear, causing him to softly moan against your mouth. “i think it’s my turn.” you smirked and lowered yourself, hooking your fingers on the hem of his boxers and pulling them down slowly, his cock hard and leaking pre cum. he had the prettiest cock you had ever seen. 

yangyang’s eyes rolled back and he let out the cutest moan as soon as you wrapped your lips around him, bobbing your head slowly and swarling your tongue around the tip of his cock. you watched him try to grab to the sheets as he moaned softly, his eyes closed shut and his chest rising up and down heavily as you felt the pre cum leak more and more onto your tongue.

“i’m not gonna last like this.” he moaned out, his hand weakly trying to grab you to stop you but he was way too out of it to do anything and you gave him a last suck before taking his cock from your mouth, watching it glisten against his tummy.

“i’ve barely started.” you said before reaching over to your bedside table, opening the drawer and taking out a small bottle of lube. as you leaned over him again you saw him biting on his bottom lip hard, his eyes wandering between the bottle in your hand and the strap-on you had attached to you. you ran your nails softly over his thighs, his cock twitching at the touch and you chuckled. “lift up your legs, xiao yang.” and you didn’t need to ask him twice as he eagerly lifted them, giving you a full view of his ass. 

you opened the bottle, letting some of the thick liquid fall over your fingers. you heard him hiss as you slowly rubbed the lub on him.

“is it cold?” you chuckled and he resorted to nodding his head, biting his bottom lip and letting his head fall back and sighing as you slowly started easing a finger inside him. 

“you think you can do two?” you asked and he quickly nodded his head again causing you to smirk at his eagerness. you slid a second finger in and this time yangyang could not hold a moan that sweetly fell from his lips. “that’s my good boy.” you cooed as you started moving your fingers slowly inside him, stretching him out and preparing him for what was coming next. 

you watched as the pre cum dripped from the tip of his cock and stuck to his bare tummy and you suddenly had the urge to have him in your mouth again but this time you had to focus on something else. he whined as you retracted your fingers from him and you grabbed the small bottle again, this time letting the liquid fall on top of the strap-on and you used your hand to spread it all over it. you lowered your body down and gave yangyang something he was craving so much since the beginning, evolving your lips with his in a intense and wet kiss, noticing how his breathing picked up pace.

“you think you’re ready baby?” you asked softly as you stared into his eyes and you couldn’t help but melt at the sweet smile he gave you, murmuring a small “yes”. god he was so cute, you couldn’t wait to destroy him.

you gave him one last kiss before positioning the tip of your strap-on at his entrance and slowly starting to make your way in. you could see his chest moving up and down as his breathing got heavy and his hands trapping the fabric of the sheets between his fingers. you gave him a moment to adjust to the new object inside him before starting moving at a slow pace, examining his every expression to make sure you were not hurting him but he was always so good for you and you weren’t surprised at how well he was taking your cock. eventually small moans started falling from his soft lips that he couldn’t hold back anymore, his head thrown back and small little droplets of sweat starting to form on his forehead and neck. 

“you like it? hm?” you smirked. “want me to go faster?” he tried answering you, you heard the start of the yes word starting to form on his mouth but there was no way he could say it, he was way too far gone into the new feeling he was experiencing. 

you picked up the pace of your hips, thrusting faster into him. you held his cock in your hand and ran your thumb over the tip, ripping out a whine from him that made your clit pulsate. you stroke him at the same time you fucked him and that seemed to hit the spot for him. his moans turned louder and his cute little hands found place on the back of his own thighs, holding his legs in place as he let you use him in every way.

“you take it so well, xiao yang. such a good little fuck toy.” you bit your lip as you watched the flustered yangyang in front of you, cheeks redder than before, his lips plump and his mouth slightly opened, letting escape the sweetest moans, his bangs now wet from the sweat, sticking to his forehead, and his cock hard and leaking in your hand, as you stroke him faster.

“f-fuck…” he moaned out, his body squirming as you realized you had found his prostate and that was your queue to not stop no matter what. 

“you can cum baby, don’t hold back.” you said as you hit his g-spot over and over again and moved your hand up and down on him, running your thumb over his red and now swollen tip and it didn’t take long until he was moaning out and cumming over your hand and his tummy.

“good boy.” you said as you slowly stopped your movements, letting his cock rest against his stomach and carefully removing the strap-on from him. yangyang’s legs slowly fell on the bed, his body tired and you smirked at him, quickly removing the strap-on from your body and discarding it somewhere next to you.

“you’re ok, yang?” you asked softly, placing a kiss on his still burning cheek and he was prompted to finally open his eyes as a cute smile appeared on his lips.

“that was the best thing ever.” you chuckled at his response, running your fingers over his messy hair. “wait.” he suddenly said, startling you. “did you cum?” you couldn’t help but laugh at how concerned he looked but that still didn’t seem to relax him.

“no. but don’t worry, seeing you like that made up for it.” you reassured him and kissed his lips but as soon as you looked at him again he still had the concerned look on his face. “yang i’m serious, it’s ok.” you chuckled as you got up from the bed, extending your arm out to him. “c’mon, let’s go take a shower.” you smiled and that seemed to finally make him let go of his worry. 

he held onto your hand and both of you walked to the shower. you loved these moments with yangyang too. the hot water running through your bodies while you kiss, washing each other up, laughing when one of you almost slips, those were always priceless moments.

“what are you doing?” you asked as he pressed you against the shower wall and started running kisses down your body.

“what does it look like i’m doing?” he said as he looked up, now kneeled in front of you, his lips placing a kiss over your hip bone. “i wanna make you feel good too.”

#nct smut #wayv smut #nct dream smut #yangyang smut #liu yangyang smut #wayv imagines #wayv scenarios #yangyang scenarios #yangyang imagines #nct scenarios #nct reactions #nct dream imagines #nct dream reactions

[monsoonblooms12]

Bittersweet (Ethan Ramsey x f!MC)

Summary: OH Book 1 Chapter 4 written from Dolores Hudson's POV

A/N: I really wanted to do this because Dolores is such an amazing person and this chapter is one of my favourites in the entire OH series. This picks up from the office fire and ends at Dolores's death.

A/N 2: The flashback portions are indented

If you enjoyed the story, please like it, leave a comment or reblog. Your feedback keeps me going🤍

Characters: Dolores Hudson, Ethan Ramsey, f!MC (Pooja Sharma)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Pooja Sharma (f!MC)

Word Count: around 2.8 K

Rating: General

Category: Fluff then Angst

Disclaimer: PB owns most of the characters and some of the dialogues. I only own my MC.

Triggers: Complications in pregnancy, Few Curse Words, Character Death

Prompts: @choicesaprilchallenge2021 Day 23: Classic/Classical

Other Works

Clickety-clack!

Dolores's fingers danced on the keyboards in a swift motion as she strived to complete this last email and get home and have a sleep that she missed yesterday due to late-night cravings.

Around her, a chaos of whispers spread as her colleagues engaged in mindless chitter-chatter of the last hour before the end of the office day.

A few nudges of Hey, Dolores! and its variants reached her, but she steered past them, focusing completely on her work.

Just one more line anndd,

Done!

She hit the send and the ping of the 'sent' notification calmed her overworked nerves.

Come on, Lil tadpole, let's file these papers, get ice cream and go home.

She fondly rubbed her belly. 26 weeks in and yet the fact that she was going to become Mamma Froggy was overwhelming and exciting.

She got the prints and in a hurry, nearly got a paper cut.

Careful there! She cajoled herself and started filing those messy sheets of her hard work of the day.

She was almost done just as-

Waaahhh!

The blazing sound, very much like a siren's, reached all of them, leading to the eruption of panicked commotion between all of them.

They had been run through the fire drill so many times that they didn't need to be told that it was a fire alarm.

Dolores left all her possessions, carrying only her bag with the stuffed froggy she had bought for her baby and tried to run.

But being pregnant doesn't make it very easy. Even more, if there was a fucking fire at the place.

People went haywire. Very few cared about the fact that she was carrying a baby, and they should have the minimum decency to help. Most would selfishly try to save themselves, not giving a damn about anyone.

Dolores tried to pave a way for reaching the elevator. It was nearly impossible for her to get down the stairwell in time to save herself from the hazardous situation. She could see that most of the people had already evacuated.

Why was the fire department not here yet?

The fire was ablaze, surroundings hot, and amidst all, Dolores walked slowly, worried only about her little tadpole and not herself.

She pressed the buttons of the elevator. Waited. But nothing budged.

Fuck it!

Smoke engulfed her and she felt suffocated. All through the light-headedness, she could faintly hear, the siren of the ambulance. She hoped someone would save her from this fiery hell.

But there was no one to help her. No one around. The building burnt and if she did not think of something quickly, she would burn with it as well.

Not viewing any other options, she screamed with as much strength she could garner. Once, Twice, Thrice.

The next actions happened quicker than the blink of an eye. She saw a handsome EMT rush towards her. Even though she was already in a blazing environment, she couldn't stop the he's hot reflex of her brain cells. He came to her and reassured her that he would be able to save her and her baby, picked her up, and slowly, yet swiftly, got out of there.

Just like a superhero.

She thought of telling this story of Super-Man coming to save him and his Mama to her baby and the thought made her giggle.

Her head was light, and she felt choked, but her mind would keep going to the little angel of her womb, worrying only for him.

The last she remembers was reaching the ambulance and coughing vigorously. She couldn't breathe normally. She tried and failed miserably. A slow sensation of blacking out and after that, everything blank.

After who knows how long, Dolores feels the glare of white lights around her giving her eyes a painful competition to open up. She squints, tiredness spreading through her body. From office work or the life-threatening experience? She does not know.

She slowly, very slowly, tries to sit up, her hand on her belly, tenderly stroking it, as if to let the child know that his Mamma would not let any harm come to him. Nurses check in on her, one of them replacing the oxygen mask with a nose tube, and she felt a bit more relaxed.

As she was taking in the surroundings, she realized,

Edenbrook!

Coming back here after so many years brought back many memories. The first time she came here. Oh, how panicked she was! She was getting jitters but that calm and brilliant doctor took care of her, not only inside the hospital but also outside it.

Dr Ethan Ramsey.

He still worked here, he had told her in his last email. I need to meet him! She thought.

When was the last time they had met? In that coffee shop last year, right? It had been long.

She traced the name she had thought for her tadpole over and over again on her belly as if to make him memorize it before coming here to her, and looked around.

There was a minimum difference between the room she had been kept in the first time and the one in which she was now, but the time gap made her feel everything was new.

All of a sudden the door swayed, letting in a young doctor and,

Ethan!

She was genuinely excited about seeing him. Of all the possibilities, she hadn't really considered the fact that he would be coming to treat her. He has important cases to take care of than petty smoke inhalation, right?

A frown appears on his forehead. "What did you get yourself into this time, Dolores?"

His stern tone is the tough layer of a walnut, which hid his soft corner, the concerned heart. She smiled at the realization.

She quickly filled him in with all the details. The fire. The hot superman. The baby. Everything.

She finds the young doctor's surprise about Ethan having friends amusing. The look of surprise she had on her face was priceless.

But when the doctor asked her,

"Was Dr Ramsey always so mean?" she guards her mouth using her hand, "And so handsome?"

It was Dolores's turn to be shocked. She knew just how much Ethan hated interns. He used to whine about how stupid they were all the time to her, online & offline. And here was this intern, having enough courage to ask her such a question in front of him.

Impressive!

"This man's definitely got grouchier than before, but even then he had an edge"

"And as for handsome, I think he has aged like a fine wine" Dolores winked and Ethan fumbled for words.

When he got his tone back, it was strict.

No matter what anyone else thought, Dolores knew the real Ethan. The one without his rough and tough exterior and mean demeanour.

And that Ethan, if he ever came out, would make everyone fall in love with him.

As the doctors mumbled between themselves, she looked around, searching for something.

Umm Hmm. She couldn't see it.

"Excuse me Doctor Sharma" Both of them turned to look at her. "I remember having my bad when the hunk brought me out. Did they bring it here?" She asks, anxiety on its borderline, ready to burst out.

She needed it. Very Much.

Dr Sharma looks around for a bit, carefully conscious eyes trained to spot abnormalities. Her eyes, soon enough, fall on the side table of the bed and she picks the purse up and hands it over to Dolores.

Another frantic search follows. She turns all the contents up and down, her happy demeanour replaced with a visible frown.

It's not here, she says, evidently panicked.

A sadness spreads on her face.

"I must have dropped it in the office" She is on the verge of crying.

Dr Sharma places a kind hand on her shoulder. What Happened? Her questioning eyes wordlessly ask.

Dolores sighs, "It probably sounds stupid but I saw this adorable little frog on my lunch break and had to get it for my little tadpole."

"My parents are gone and the father's not in the picture." She adoringly places a hand on her swollen belly, "I just want everything to be perfect for him."

Dr Sharma gives her shoulder a gentle push of reassurance, and adds, "It's not stupid Dolores, absolutely not. I feel like you're going to be a great mom."

Her words make Dolores smile despite the upsetting circumstances, "Thank You. I- I just wished I hadn't lost it."

She stays lost in the thoughts and daydreams of her little tadpole playing with his first gift, growing ever more upset with every passing second.

"I and Dr Ramsey will find it for you!" Dr Sharma's excited tone jolts her out of her thoughts.

She is surprised first and slowly a smile appears, "Really Ethan? You would do that for me?"

He hesitates.

"Erm- Yes, sure." He fumbles.

"Dr Sharma, let's get this urine sample to the lab first. I will meet you in the lot in ten minutes."

Relieved and Happy, Dolores exclaims, "I am 26 weeks pregnant, Ethan. Not gonna take 10 minutes to make me pee!"

And in 15 minutes, they take her urine sample away and bid adieu with a promise of bringing her token of love for her tadpole back.

She was extremely grateful for Dr Sharma. She doubted if Ethan had given in the first time if it had not been her taking initiative.

Wait a Minute.

Ethan Ramsey listened to an intern? That too, in the first time itself? The observation blew her mind.

She recounted the time he had called her to his home to give a dinner treat. Lovely memories of a different face of the man came to her mind like the waves reaching the shore, one after the other.

"Mmm... Ethan, this is delicious!" Dolores found herself falling deeply in love with this masterpiece of Georgian stuffed chicken.

"Thank You, but it wouldn't have got done without your help" Ethan was never the type to take credit. Boast, Huh? What's that?

That's what she liked the most about him. A fine, handsome man, talented without bounds, a successful doctor having shitloads of money and a chef. He was a complete package and yet seemed to be subtly unaware of it.

They chatted about everything from opera to music to their first meet. It was a jolly time.

That is, until, the conversation landed on romance.

"So, seeing anyone?"

"No, not currently." He blushes a bit.

"Imagine" Dolores leans back on her chair, stretching her legs, "if, I said if, you fell in love with," she pauses to look at his curious face, "an intern?"

"Impossible."

It came even before she had finished the word. Dolores was amused.

"Just imagine!"

"I don't want to waste time imagining something as implausible as that. Can we talk about something else please?"

And here he was today, listening to an intern, a different demeanour than usual. Not that it was love, yet, but there was something.

Was he impressed by her?

He talked differently, listened patiently to the young doctor. That Ethan Ramsey who would not stand with an intern for 5 minutes, listened to one?

Anyone who knew him would laugh off the fact and say it was a joke.

Dolores made sure that if it happens, the falling in love with an intern, she will not let Ethan see the end of it. Teasing him to annoyance, yes that's what she would do.

She turned on some soft classical music on her phone, spreading an instant calm and dozed off for a while...

She gets up with a start on the sound of the door opening. She rubs her eyes to get a better view of the people in front of her.

It was Ethan and Dr Sharma!

She looked at them and yes! there it was, her tadpole's froggy.

She was overjoyed.

"You got it!" Dolores breaks into a grin as the sterilized frog is given to her.

"Happy now?" Ethan asks, the faintest glimmer of happiness in his eyes.

"Yes, very, very, much! Thank you so much, Ethan."

She pulls Dr Sharma into a small hug, "You too Dr Sharma, thank you!"

"Of course, Dolores." The young woman's beautiful face gleams at her, "and you can call me Pooja."

After few minutes of chit chat, Pooja leaves to get Dolores's reports.

"Switch on the TV Ethan, it's boring to sit here and do nothing."

"You know you can do better things than watching stupid TV shows?"

"I am doing it because I want to. The least who can do is help me." She shrugs.

"Fine, fine."

After going on a roundabout tour of the various broadcasted shows, they settled to watch a comedy.

Soon Ethan's stoicism got lost in the wilds and he started laughing along with her.

All the while Dolores held the Froggy affectionately to her tummy, to her little tadpole, as if to show it to him and ask if he likes it.

Amidst all the laughs, the medical reports are completely forgotten until there's a soft knock on the door and Ethan looks at someone from the corner of his eye and go out to meet them.

Still, she remains blissfully unaware of her health conditions and basks in the moments of delight she gets alone with her tadpole.

Her eyes remain glued to the TV screen until the doctors come in and from the morbid faces they wore, she knew that the reports were anything but good.

She switches off the TV.

"What is it? Ethan?"

Pooja steps forward, "I want you not to worry, Dolores."

She feels a mild panic attack bursting inside her, "T-That's what people say when there is something to be worried about. Is my tadpole okay?"

Pooja sighs, "Have you heard of preeclampsia? It's a disease affecting one out of ten pregnant women. In most cases, it is manageable, if monitored properly. But in your case-"

She pauses. And Dolores knows that whatever's coming will not be hopeful.

"It's serious."

Dolores quickly asks, "How serious?"

Not too much. Not too much. Please, god, not too much. She crosses her fingers.

"The blood flow to the placenta is slowing. It could deprive your baby of vital nutrients and oxygen."

With his morbid mask matching his melancholy tone, Ethan says, "Your baby is at risk."

Shit.

"B-But I can still feel the baby kicking!" She urges them to come and feel for themselves.

"Dolores it just means the delivery needs to be done early."

"Impossible." Dolores remarks with a deadly determination. "It's too soon."

"Babies delivered at 26 weeks have a good chance of survival." Dr Sharma tries to convince her.

"A-A chance?"

She is not going to play a game of chances with her beloved tadpole, her little jewel.

They keep convincing her.

"Yes he'll have to spend some time in the N.I.C.U and there are chances of post-birth complications-"

"And some don't make it at all. Is my baby is in danger now?" She asks with a motherly force.

"No, not immediately. But-" Ethan is on his tracks to convince her again.

"Then my little tadpole is staying put."

"Dolores—"

"No, Ethan! Just...give me some time! As long as you can give me. Please" It is a request from her heart, and she is on the verge of tears.

"I give you tonight. To come back to your senses."

When they leave, Dolores cries, caressing her belly, her little tadpole in there. She cannot take a risk with his goddamn life, never ever.

Tears roll down her cheeks and she holds the stuffed frog even tighter to herself, praying to god for his magical abilities and to save her baby.

Please.

She fell asleep while crying. When she wakes up, she finds a few unknown nurses and doctors standing there.

She tries to speak but cannot form words. Her head feels light, just like it did in the office building. She could not sense anything, swallowing was trouble.

She makes random sounds and the people come rushing to her, just as her body breaks into violent convulsions.

"We need to take her to the surgery, QUICK!"

They call for a code blue and everything that happens following that is a haze to her.

They are rushing her to the surgery. Her body shakes vigorously, and she can feel that she doesn't have much time left.

She holds the doctor's hand who was rushing her to the O.R.

"N-nam-me him-m E-Ethan."

And with that, she slowly spirals down the realm of unconsciousness, the last thought to ever strike her mind was,

Little tadpole, mamma loves you. You will be okay. Mamma will always be there with you, for you.

And with that her breath leaves her body, the last tear dropping on the O.R. bed.

As Ethan Hudson sees the light of his new life, Dolores passes away into the darkness.

I love you little tadpole.

PS: Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a great day ahead! Love, Manamee🤍.

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#pixelberry choices #playchoices #open heart #choices stories you play #choices open heart #choices oh #choices stories we play #choices #open heart mc #open heart fanfiction #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey #ethan x pooja #pooja sharma #dolores hudson #tw pregnancy complications #tw character death #tw curse words #choicesaprilchallenge2021 #cac2021 #choices fic writers creations #fics of the week #cfwc fics of the week #my fanfics✒ #pixelberry #pixelberry studios #choices oph #open heart ethan #oph book club #oph book 1

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Tuesday Mornings (Javier Peña x fem!Reader)

Tuesday Mornings ( Javier Peña x fem!Reader )

Warnings: NSFW, unprotected sex, fluff, pining, curse words, arguing, soft beginning and ending, domestic life

Word Count: 5.8K... this was supposed to be 800 words.

Author's Note: this was supposed to be all fluffy and cuddly but then it turned into a smutty five thousand word treasure. i don't write smut often so pretty please tell me what you think 🥺

Rain patters softly against the bedroom window, the foggy glass striped with droplets that left transparent streaks in their trail. The heavy rainfall pelts against the roof, resulting in a heavy, rhythmic, rapping sound that incessantly echoes through the bedroom, rousing Javier from his sleep.

A gravelly groan reverberates from deep in his chest as he stretches his arms above his head, his back arching slightly as his muscles flex and his eyelids tightly scrunch shut before melting back into the plushness of the pillows. With a twinge of reluctance weighing in the back of his mind, his eyes flutter open, his blurry vision stubbornly sharpening after a few lazy moments. The bedroom basks in a dim gray light, courtesy of the dark thunderclouds looming over the city.

He feels you shift bedside him, one of your legs curling up at an angle by your side.

His eyes flit over to your side of the bed and you're still sound asleep beside him, lying on your stomach with your face buried in the pillows. And you're naked... which is, y'know, nice.

But a little disappointing because it's Tuesday and you're lack of clothing raises his hopes before he realizes its the middle of the week.

So he glances over to the alarm clock and silently prays that it isn't set to go off for another hour so that he can simply exist next to you before having to go to work and pretend that you and him are just work friends.

But he has no such luck. Ten minutes to spare before the cube-shaped clock shatters the peaceful aura of the bedroom and forces the two of you to get up from the safety of the covers and move on with the day.

Could he work with ten minutes? Honestly, probably. But he decides against it, you need as much sleep as you can get, and thanks to his horny ass, both of you fell asleep at ungodly hours last night.

Also, he's glad you're still asleep. It's domestic. Waking up beside you brings a sense of normalcy to his life, stability that only you can offer him. And he doesn't want to even admit it to himself but warmth swells in his chest every time he thinks about how lucky he is because he's the only person in the whole world that gets to wake up next to you in the morning. And he's also a little proud because you chose him. Javier Peña — the DEA agent that had a publicly bad reputation with longterm arrangements and was honestly a bit of an ass to you.

He deeply regrets the latter, because at the time he didn't have a clue that he would be absolutely smitten with you by the end of your first year in Columbia. At first, he was abrasive towards you because you were new. And even though you were no rookie, every hotshot DEA agent that tries their luck in Columbia always either discover that they're in way over their head and leaves or get killed by the end of their second month.

But then you didn't quit, and then you didn't die.

Which is a surprise. A pleasant surprise, but a surprise nonetheless.

And Javier realizes that, yeah, he's been kinda an ass to you and he should probably ease up on completely ignoring you until he's barking orders in your direction. Because if you're going to have a breakdown it might as well be because of Pablo Escobar and not a grouchy DEA agent that has had really no plausible cause to treat you like shit.

But apologizing isn't really his thing so he opted to just ignore the fact that he's been an asshole towards you for the past four months and instead buys you a cup of coffee as some sort of olive branch gesture.

Which he quickly learns is a mistake. A big one, at that.

Because you really don't like him, which is warranted because he has really only been a dick to you. And you're smart enough to realize this. You know he has the decency to at least treat everyone else in the building with some level of fairness. His manners are decent, you've seen him open up doors for passing secretaries and thank them when they drop files off at his desktop. He's confident, but he's not a cocky asshole that treats other agents like they've got a total of two and a half brain cells.

But he doesn't treat you like everyone else, he treats you like you're no better than last week's trash, waiting impatiently for the garbage truck to come lift his burden and haul you out of his life.

So when you basically tell him to go fuck himself, he can't really be too all upset about it. Because, as usual, he deserves every word of it.

So instead of getting all defensive and trying to explain himself like you thought he would, he stands silently from the other side of your desk for a few moments before nodding slowly, like he's actually processing and accepting your two-minute-long speech about how much of an asshole he is, and then he sets the cup of coffee on the edge of your desk and leaves.

He doesn't really make an attempt to interact with you after that, maybe because he's guilty about the whole situation or maybe because it's just not worth it.

You hate him, so why try to cross an already burned bridge?

So instead, he just continues on with life — chases Escobar, bickers with Steve, fucks informants, smokes a pack of cigarettes a day, and drinks a little more whiskey than he probably should. Though he does make the effort to begin treating you like everyone else, which may not mean that he's all sunshine and rainbows towards you, but he's fair. He's equal, and you appreciate it more than he realizes.

It takes a little over a month, an entire bottle of wine, and some deep contemplating before you finally decide that if Javier can treat you fairly, you can do the same. No more ignoring him when he walks into the room, no more only meeting his gaze when your eyes are narrowed into a glare, no more uttering out one-word responses to his questions. Just treat him like you treat everyone else.

Which you soon realize is not as easy as it sounds. Because the morning after you release your five-month-old grudge and you politely thank Javier when he holds open the door to the office for you, the man nearly chokes on his coffee. He stands dumbstruck in the doorway for a few seconds too long, staring at the space you had stood even though you're already halfway down the hall.

Were you messing with him? He figures, yeah, you probably were.

And if he knew better, he would've just dropped it. He should've just shrugged and continued on his life because what you thought of him really didn't matter. You didn't matter, not to him at least.

And he most certainly shouldn't let some random rookie agent distract him when he's so close to taking down Escobar.

That's all you could possibly be to him, a distraction. You didn't matter, you shouldn't matter.

But that's the thing.

Javier Peña doesn't know better. And you do matter — even if he interprets it as just not wanting to see you on the side of the road dead. Because even if you're in a little over your head in Columbia, you're still fighting just as hard as any other agent in the field. And it most certainly doesn't help that you have a set of pretty legs and an even prettier set of eyes.

So Javier comes to a few conclusions while nursing a glass of whiskey. You don't hate him; you're not completely worthless; he shouldn't treat you like you're worthless; and damn, you have some nice legs.

So instead of treating you like he treats everybody else, he treats you like he treats everybody else and then some. Which is a little bit of a step backward because you instantly notice that now he's being friendly, but you try your best not to react to his shift in behavior because it's always going to be better than him being an ass to you.

But then he asks you out.

Well, not really.

He asks you if you want to go to the bar with him and Steve after work, which is strange because he's never expressed any interest in getting to know you before. But thankfully when you politely decline his invitation he takes your rejection gracefully and returns to his own office room.

But then no longer than ten minutes later Steve Murphy pops into your office, and you don't mind because Steve has been nice to you since the very beginning and you might actually consider the two of you friends. You might've even hung out with him in the past if it didn't consequently mean spending time with his asshole partner.

Well, former-asshole partner.

And you almost smile when you see Steve but then he starts pressing you to come hang out with him and Peña after work. Teases you about being a stick-in-the-mud and not having any friends in Columbia, and then about how both he and Javier really want you to come. And you're about to kick him out of your office when he adds that he will pay for all of your drinks — you're out of booze at home and today was no walk in the park. You crack, agreeing to go to some dingy bar with two of your co-workers as long as there will be free and endless drinks.

The night surprisingly goes well. You're pleasantly buzzed but not drunk enough to share some embarrassing secrets that sober you would regret in the morning. You sit next to Steve in a booth, across the tabletop from Javier, which isn't exactly ideal because you realize the more you drink, the more you stare. But then again, you figure it was better than sitting next to him on the cramped bench.

They ask you a lot of questions, which is weird because you've grown so used to not talking about yourself after spending now six months in Columbia without making a friend besides Steve.

Does Javier count as a friend?

You decide that no, he doesn't. You're just co-workers going out for drinks. He probably didn't even want you to come, Steve probably made him ask you first because he knows that there's some sort of turmoil between the two of you.

But regardless of who wanted you here and who didn't really care, you had a good time. And it soon became part of your weekly routine, working hard from nine to at least six and then going out for drinks with Steve and Javier. And it takes a few outings but you finally decide that your friend's list could double into two by adding Javier.

But then one night Steve brings Connie along and somehow that changes everything. Because it's no longer three work friends drinking together to forget the troubles of the workday. Now it's a married couple and two single idiots sitting side-by-side in a cramped booth. And it no longer felt like going out to a bar for drinks, now it felt like an awkward double-date.

And if Javier didn't feel the same tension that had your muscles rigid and your grasp around the amber beer bottle tight, he certainly did when Connie gestured between the two of you.

"So how long have you two been together?"

Steve chokes on his beer, droplets dribbling down his chin and Connie jumps at his reaction, you and Javier both frozen like deer in headlights.

You try to save the evening, you really do. "We're, uh— we're just— not together..."

Connie quirks a confused brow. We're just not together?

Javier's brain seems to start working a few seconds too late.

"We're not together," he clarifies, his voice sounding surprisingly impassive despite his strained posture.

You pray that the bar is too dim for Connie and Steve to see how mortified you were, and thank god Javier was too busy staring off into the distance and nursing his beer to crane his neck to look at you. Though you weren't totally saved because both Steve and somehow Connie could see how fucking humiliated you are, but they spare you the mercy to not say anything or, heaven forbid, stare.

And thanks to Steve's small talk and Javier's decision to leave the booth to go hit on some brunette making eyes at him from the bar, the night resumes as normally as it could've gone. Steve and Connie leave together, Javier leaves with the brunette, and you leave with a headache because you had a little too much to drink.

The next few days are off. Steve apologizes in private for any discomfort that Connie's comment caused you, even though you assure him that it's fine because it's really no big deal.

And you believe it because it was just a simple mistake and Javier didn't seem to care, which consequently means that you don't care.

But that's where you're wrong, about both statements actually. Because firstly, Javier did care — he cared a whole lot, actually. And secondly, Connie had only said something because Steve had been telling her how he thinks the two of you are going to get together for months now. And when Javier and you sat beside one another and talked together with such ease and chemistry, Connie had assumed that the two of you had finally gotten together and that it was a double-date.

But none of that mattered now because Javier wasn't talking to you. He was giving you the classic cold shoulder treatment like you had done something wrong. Reverting back to his old ways of treating you like a piece of shit because Connie had made a mistake. Could you possibly negotiate him redirecting his disdain and resentment towards her? Probably not.

And after an entire three months of being treated like absolute garbage, the tension between you snapped, like a tautly drawn back bowstring just before the release of an arrow.

You followed him out of the building when he got up to leave, the two of you being the only agents left in the office. When you called out his name just before he unlocked his car door, his head dropped back as a frustrated groan heaved from his chest.

That only pissed you off a lot.

"What the fuck's your problem, Peña?" You snarl, marching up to him, eyes narrowed into a threatening glare. You're not entirely sure what possessed you, but the next thing you know you're so close to him that you can feel his controlled breaths fanning against your face as he stares down at you with an expression of indifference — staring down at you like you're not even fucking there.

"Go home," he drawls out dismissively through an exhausted sigh, the keys in his hands jingling as he turns unlocks his car door. "We've got a long day tomorrow."

"Oh, fuck off," you snap, your fury raising in your stomach like a swelling ocean, growing and building itself up until it crashes down on your trembling form.

He shifts, the keys in his hands forgotten as he slowly turns on his heels to face you. "What's your problem?"

Your jaw drops, because he has the audacity to ask you what your problem is? No, he's out of his fucking mind.

"No, what's your problem?" You retort, jabbing your finger into the firm muscles below his shoulder as you gradually lose more and more of your self-control. "You've been treating me like a piece of shit for the past three fucking months. What the hell did I do to you? I thought we were friends but now you act like you want nothing to do with me."

Your words are harsh, tone hardened, and confused. Javier can hear it in your voice and it makes his heart ache, but as soon as you touch him — index finger pressing against chest — his resolve shatters.

"Don't touch me," he utters lowly, his once impassive expression morphing into a darker glare.

You shove him, which is a little disappointing because he doesn't fucking move. Doesn't even stumble back half a step, your actions only hardening his glare. "No, you don't get to fucking ignore me. You don't get to treat me like garbage. And I'm not gonna stop until you tell me why you hate me so fucking much."

"Jesus," he scoffs, his head dipping back as he takes a step back and eyes flitting to the sky like you're some ridiculous, immature child that he can't wait to get rid of. There's a pause, his chest heaving up and down. His hands are on his hips as his eyes avoid your stare, he doesn't want to escalate the situation further. He doesn't need to make an even bigger scene. He doesn't need to create yet another memory that plays on his head in a loop, distracting him every minute of the day. This is the last thing he needs.

After a moment he sighs, dropping his head and breathes for a moment. And as you see his hostile composure shift, you feel the storm of rage that you're drowning in lessen.

"I don't hate you," he answers lowly, his eyes still settled on somewhere other than your face. "Just... just don't take it personally."

You shake your head, your voice just as angry but quieter. "No. Not taking it personally was when you didn't talk to me for my first four months in Columbia because you thought I was just some dumb rookie."

"Look..." He's drained, weakened, and has little fight in him left. And he can see how you're trying to stop yourself from crying, he can hear your throat straining from holding back a sob that's painful trying to rack through your chest. He can see how much pain he's caused you, and he knows that you deserve none of it. "We should just... stop."

Your eyebrows raises. "What?" It's merely a whisper, the malice in your tone melting away as a wave of confusion crashes down on you.

Javier ignores the pang of hurt that sears through his heart at the sound of your voice. "We— we shouldn't... it's better if we're not friends."

You swallow thickly, your tongue heavy in your mouth. "What do you mean?" You ask, unsure of yourself.

"Just..." he tries, his hand running over his exasperated features as he struggles to string a sentence together. His mind is blank, any words rising in his brain not seeming right and leaving him scrambling for a single coherent thought. It's embarrassing being speechless when you're staring up at him with wide, glistening eyes. He's never rendered speechless, nobody has ever made him feel so helpless. He isn't sure when his smooth composure cracked, words came so naturally to him. He could charm the shoes off of anyone else.

Fuck, when did it become so hard to speak?

Probably when he realized you weren't like everybody else.

He forces himself to speak because if he's quiet any longer he's scared you're going to give up on him and leave, even though that's what he should be wanting. He should be hoping that you just learn to distance yourself from him, even if it ruins him. And he has a feeling that if you tear yourself away from him it'll ruin you too, but only for a little while. You'll move on, heal over time no matter how much it hurts now, you'll learn to be okay without him.

Or maybe you won't, you may never get the chance to learn to live without Javier Peña. Maybe the cruel universe would consider it an act of mercy to kill you before you ever got the chance. Maybe you'll get gunned down by one of Escobar's men or die in a car crash on your way home from work. Or maybe Javier will finally slip up and get himself killed. He's not exactly sure what will happen to either of you, but he knows it's bound to happen.

With this job, it's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when.

Fuck.

Speak, you fucking idiot.

His feet shift against the blacktop, gravel crunching beneath the soles of his boots. His hands are still firmly placed on his hips, his eyes finally tearing away from the streetlight shining in the distance to look at you.

His gut clenches, chest tightening. "It'll be easier if you hate me."

Oh.

You don't need to ask what exactly would be easier if you hated him. You know the fears that plague every DEA agent's mind. You live your life in the line of fire, the closer people get to you, the more likely they're going to get shot.

But something breaks inside of you, shatters into a million pieces. A part of you that cannot be repaired, no matter the amount of tape or glue.

You slowly drag a breath of air into your lungs, trying the shake the heavy feeling that was going to suffocate you as you stare into his eyes. And you know your bottom lip is quivering and tears are threatening to spill from your eyes.

"But I don't hate you."

And I don't think I ever could.

Your words crack through a broken whisper, and you almost cry at the confession because it just hurts so damn bad.

Javier darts his gaze away from you, knowing that if you start crying he's going to break.

"Then you need to stay away from me," he replies, his voice low but firm. He keeps telling himself that he's not going to lose this argument, he's not going to be selfish and ruin you both for good.

"Why?" You inquire, stepping forward. His eyes flit over at your sudden movement, watching you cautiously as you invade his space one more. "I don't see you pushing Murphy away."

Javier huffs out a soft scoff. Maybe he would've even chuckled at your comment if he was able to breathe. "You know you're not Murphy."

Well, no shit, you're not Murphy. You're not some six foot two blond from Tennessee with a wife and kid.

"What does that even mean?" You sigh, your eyes squinting from a mixture of exhaustion and confusion.

Javier faintly shakes his head, almost disapprovingly. "Don't do that. Don't act like you don't know you're different."

Threads of your patience snap, and you force yourself to not let your calm composure to crack and crumble under the flames smoldering in your chest.

"Why do I have to be different?" you reply sharply, though Javier can hear that your anger is more directed towards the situation than at him.

Because I'm not in love with Murphy.

Fuck, shut up, Peña.

"You just are," he answers eventually, maybe an eternity later.

Well, that's not fair.

"Why?" You muse quietly, and Javier's brain short-circuits. Because have you always been standing so close to him? He can fucking smell you from a here — some floral perfume that makes his head spin and his knees buckle, though he can't help himself from wanting to bury his head in the crook of your neck and breathe you in.

He has to crane his neck to look down at you, and his pulse quickens once he realizes that all he has to do is lean slightly forward on his toes and he'd be kissing you. Your eyes are no longer clouded with tears and the anger in your voice has melted. Your calm, which is new, but it doesn't make it any easier to look at you. Because you're gazing up at him with eyes that reflect the night sky and he thinks he's about to pass out.

And it takes him a moment to remember that you've asked him a question.

Why? Why are you different?

Why does he distance himself from your soft touch? Why does he avoid your curious stare? Why does he have the urge to leave the room whenever you enter it? Why does he only offer you half-assed responses and quips? Why does he refuse to look at your even though all he ever thinks about is your sweet face? Why does he let himself fuck whores when he keeps letting your name slip from his lips? Why does he allow his gaze to linger and trace every outline of your face after you've turned away? Why does he wake up glistening with sweat and a painful ache between his legs because he fell asleep thinking about you?

Fuck. He wants to kiss you right now.

Why does he want to kiss you right now?

"Javier?" You breathe out, still waiting for him to speak even though you are starting to understand his silent answer.

Javier doesn't remember hearing his name softly drip slip from your lips in a whisper. He doesn't remember his hand shaking as he lifts it to cradle your cheek. He doesn't remember the calloused pad of his thumb brushing against your cheekbone as you softly shudder beneath his touch. He doesn't remember gazing into your eyes like he's looking up into the summer night sky, stargazing. He doesn't remember the shaky breath the leaves your lips as his thumb drags lower to graze your plush bottom lip. He most certainly doesn't remember leaning forward on his feet and capturing your lips with his.

His lungs constrict and he's kissing you — desperately, touches drowning in need as the taste of you floods his senses.

But fuck, you're kissing him back. And your tongue is pressing into his mouth, practically purring as your hands rake through his hair.

And you're not entirely sure how the conversation ended with you kissing Javier Peña like you were trying to devour him whole, but he doesn't seem to be complaining as he picks you up with a small grunt and lays you down on the backseat of his car without breaking away from you once.

He's breathing is frantic, grabbing at your blouse and tugging it off of you before your arms are even extended above your head. Your lips part from his with a loud smack and you whine out in pure want, squirming as his mustache tickles the swell of your breasts as his head dips down and sucks a purple mark into the plush flesh that spills from the bra cups. Your stomach is churning with lust and desire as the thought of him burns into your memory like a hot iron searing through flesh.

"Hermosa," he calls out through a heavy breath that ghosts against your collar, his sinful hands groping your chest draws out airy moans. His cock is hard and leaking, the arousal the settled in his belly is burning through him like a wildfire.

Fuck, you're touching him and it's shaking his mind to shambles. Your hand rests on the nape of his neck as he pulls your bra down to run his hot tongue over your taut nipples, your other hand weaving through his dark hair and tugging.

"Javier," you keen, your back arching off the leather seat as something inside your bursts. You rock your hips forward, desperate to reveal the tension that had coiled in your stomach. "I need... I need—"

"I know," he grunts because he needs the exact same things. He's panting, quivering, shuddering out broken breaths between kisses as he hovers over your trembling body. "Fuck, baby. I know."

Then it's like his mind goes on autopilot, acting on pure instinct as he fumbles to unclasp his belt and yank the front of his jeans down far enough so that he can take his weeping cock out of its confinements. His hands then find their way to your pants, hesitating to make sure you still want him but you're one step ahead, already pushing your pants and panties down in one harsh movement.

But as soon as he looks down at your naked lower half, his daze is snapped in half like a twig and his mind spirals out of control as he realizes that he needs you right fucking now. And you're no better, tears prickling your eyes as you beg him to fuck you in the back of his Jeep.

And even though he craves to taste your wetness on his tongue, he thinks he's going to die if he doesn't fuck you this very instant. He can't stop himself from lining his cock up with your entrance and applying the slightest bit of pressure, relishing in the needy moan that echoes throughout the cab of his car that makes pre-cum drip down the base of his cock.

"Javier." You're chanting his name like a prayer, like he's your sweet salvation. Your hands squeeze his shoulders as your head lols back before one drops to find his, lacing your fingers together to anchor yourself. He's hovering about you, one quivering arm propping his body up while the other is holding yours — he thinks he's about to explode.

"Please fuck me."

Then he's spreading you open, pushing inside of you with one slow and deliberate stroke. You squeak at the tightness, the full feeling that stretches your walls and makes you shudder. Javier's head drops to the crook of your neck and presses a chaste kiss to the pulsating skin, pausing momentarily so that you both can catch your breath.

And as you ask him to finally move, all coherent thoughts as ripped from his mind. All he knows is that he's thrusting into you like he's going to die if he stops. You're going to kill him.

I'll die if you stop. You don't know if you actually said it aloud or if it was only an echo of a thought in your ruined mind.

Neither of you last long, which isn't much of a surprise at the state you're in. Though Javier feels weird because he has some weird sexual reputation and he nearly came in his pants when he was only kissing you. And he wanted to draw it all out because he's secretly scared that you'll never talk to him again after this, even though that's what he originally wanted. But now that he's finally gotten a taste of your lips, he's drunk off your touch and addicted to it. He doesn't want you to leave and pretend that none of this ever happened. He doesn't even know if you like him in the same way he likes you—

No, fuck, he loves you. He loves you and doesn't even know if you like him enough to allow him to take you on a proper date.

So when he asks you if you want to get drinks with him on Friday, skin sticky with sweat and chest sill heaving as he helps you dress, he's surprised when you agree with a coy smile. And he huffs out a small laugh when you teasingly ask if you should expect Steve to tag along or if it's a legitimate date.

And honestly, the following months are a blur — filled with wandering hands, lingering shared gazes, and hot kisses. He can't control himself after the torturous ten long months he spent waiting, ten months of longing and yearning for your touch while he pushed you away.

All that matters now is that you're fast asleep in his arms on a rainy Tuesday morning. Your cheek is squished against his bare chest and he knows that the dark hairs that litter his torso are probably tickling your nose, but you don't stir once your arm is lazily draped over his middle.

And he can't help the dopey smile that tugs at his lips when you nuzzle even closer, still stuck on the thought that you somehow managed to fall in love with him.

"You're warm," you mumble mindlessly, voice heavy with sleep.

Oh, you are awake.

"Have to get up soon," he replies, though his words don't seem fitting as he tightens his hold around your waist and drags you up his torso so that he can tuck your head beneath his chin.

And for a split second, Javier thinks that you've fallen back asleep because he's learned the hard way that you are by no means a morning person. Your heartbeat his soft against his chest and your breathing pattern returns to a slow and silent pace.

"Call in sick," you suddenly murmur as you squirm a bit before stilling.

Javier breathes out a soft chuckle, his breath ghosting over the top of your head. "We can't both call in sick," he refutes lightly, even though the offer is very tempting.

"Fine," you utter before tilting your head up to look at him with dreamy eyes. And as your eyes land on him, Javier remembers just how beautiful you are and how much he really wants to stay in bed with you. "Then you call in sick, I'll play hooky."

A dangerous game, it's hard to keep a secret relationship a secret when there's a pattern of both parties missing work on the same days.

Though, apparently, the game is all too tempting. Because as soon as you lean up to press a gentle kiss in the crook of Javier's neck, he finds himself reaching for his phone.

"Wanna make me breakfast?" You eventually ask through a coy grin, peering up at him through your thick lashes as he ends the call.

He rolls his eyes, a playful gesture that you don't take seriously in the slightest. "You're ridiculous," he answers grumpily even though you both know he's going to cave and make his specialty of coffee and eggs.

"But you love me anyway," you reply smugly, pushing yourself up on your elbow to peck a chaste kiss to his lips. Javier's hand comes up to cradle the back of your head, pulling you closer to deepen the kiss. You can't stop the moan that slips from you breathlessly as his tongue parts your pursed lips.

It's safe to say that neither of you gets out of bed for another hour.

----

tags (let me know if you want to be added): @yespolkadotkitty​

#smut #corrupt-fvcker #javier peña #javier peña x reader #pedro pascal #javier pena x you #self insert #reader insert #narcos #fanfic #fanfiction #narcos fanfic #my writing #spicy

[geniusgub]

north//chapter twenty

genre: fluff, angst

warnings: mentions of canonical violence and deaths, lmk if I missed anything

word count: 4k

summary: Spencer is getting reacquainted with life outside of prison, and he gets a not-so-great phone call.

pairing: season twelve spencer reid x oc

please remember to comment, like, and reblog!!

AMELIA

Spencer and I managed to sleep through the entire day and the majority of the night. After all, the previous day was probably one of the most eventful of my entire life and it left me absolutely exhausted. I can't quite speak for Spencer because I'm sure he's had much longer days than yesterday, especially when he has been away for cases, but it was still stressful and way too long for both of us.

I wake up before Spencer as the sun starts to rise the next day, the sunlight pouring in through the opened window on the other side of the room. Before I even consider getting out of bed or looking at my phone, I look to my side to check on Spencer. He's sleeping soundly, his cheek pressed against his pillow and his hand on my side of the bed, no longer wrapped around mine. He looks absolutely angelic at this moment, his mouth hanging open and his body completely relaxed.

I promised Spencer that I'd be here for him and that I wouldn't leave the bed without him. I've never broken a promise to him before and I don't plan on starting now. So, moving as little as possible so I don't disturb him, I sit up against the headboard, reaching into my bedside table for my journal. I pop open the top and start furiously scribbling down everything I can remember from the last two or so days and how I feel about it, how excited I am to have Spencer home again, and how terrified I am to have Spencer home again.

I barely even notice it when Spencer starts squirming beside me, and my attention is only taken away from my journal when his hand grabs onto my thigh. I smile down at his suddenly tiny figure, finding that he's already looking up at me with a tired gaze.

"Good morning, love," I chirp, tossing my journal onto the floor and sinking back under the duvet in an attempt to absorb some of his radiating body heat. Since he already touched me and he's seemingly feeling okay in the morning sun, I let my hand stray and trail through his flat curls. "Did you sleep well? You didn't wake me up."

Spencer sucks his lips between his teeth, shrugging softly. "I woke up a few times. I just--" he wiggles his hips as he tries to come up with an excuse, "I didn't need to wake you up. I didn't need to bother you. Having you here was enough."

I bring my hand to the back of Spencer's neck, huffing with some slight annoyance, "You're not a bother. You never have and you never will be," Spencer just shrugs dismissively in response, and reaches his hands up to rub his eyes. Spencer has never been good at these kinds of conversations and I imagine he's far too tired to entertain a lecture about how important he is. So I make a mental note to bring this topic back up as I sit up and stretch. "Alright, well, do you want some breakfast? I can make us something to eat."

"Yeah, sure," he nods, ducking away from my grasp and quickly sliding out of bed, putting on a pair of shoes I hadn't realized he set up on his side of the bed.

I reach for a pair of sweatpants but when I look up to find Spencer frozen in his spot, staring at the bed, I drop the pants and sit up on my knees. The sheets are rustled and the duvet is in a heap under me, and he's very fixated on this. His arms are glued to his side but his fingers are twitching like he's dying to use them.

"Spence? Everything okay?" I ask gently, and like the other instances where he gets lost in a daydream, he doesn't react to me. "Spencer?" I call again in hopes of getting some sort of response. But his fingers just twitch and he takes a long, frustrated breath. "Talk to me," I don't know if pressing the issue will help, but if I don't at least try to get him to talk, then I'll never figure out what his issue is. "I just wanna help you, but I can't do that if you don't talk to me."

Spencer quickly covers his face with his hands, his breathing becoming labored and heavy, chest heaving. "The bed. It's the bed. It's-- I need-- it's the bed."

It looks like a bed to me. It's a messy bed, sure, but it's just a bed to me. I pause for a second to try to get my brain to match Spencer's. I try to see what he is seeing, but all I see is a bed that we just used for its intended purpose. It just needs to be made, that's all. I can't see into Spencer's brain so I have to resort to asking. "What about the bed?"

"I--" he drops his hands, balling them up into fists again, "The bed is supposed to be made. I need to make the bed. It needs to be made or else they're gonna come and I'll get in trouble. It-- the-- the bed needs to be made."

Oh, this poor baby. My heart aches for him. Not all of him made it out of that prison cell. Part of him is still there. He's not here with me. He didn't really come home.

"Spencer, you're not gonna get in trouble here. It's just me. It's just Lia," My voice shakes as I try to speak, my hands pressed to my cheeks to continuously wipe the tears that start to fall. "I'm never gonna yell at you or hurt you or get mad because you didn't make your bed. Dove, you can make the bed if you want to, but you don't have to. It's okay. I'm not gonna be mad. You won't get in trouble. It's just me."

Spencer stares at me, his eyes wide and his lips parted. His hands aren't twitching anymore but they're still reaching towards the bed. He doesn't say anything, he just stares at me in bewilderment.

I compose myself with a deep breath, wiping my cheeks quickly and climbing off the bed. "Dove, make the bed, please. I want you to do anything that makes you feel better. But if you choose not to, I'm not gonna be mad," I step towards Spencer, holding my hands out in front of me and not expecting him to grab them. "I'm gonna go downstairs and I'm gonna start cooking, and you come down when you're ready, okay?"

I give Spencer one more attempt at a convincing smile before turning and going downstairs. My first stop is to the living room, and I pop the record into the player that Spencer had put on yesterday. If it did something to comfort him yesterday, hopefully it will do the same today. I grab both of our phones and start cooking breakfast.

I mix batter for waffles in a bowl as I check my notifications, sifting through a whole load of texts. My groupchat with my friends has a couple hundred texts, starting off with lots of questions and concerns about Spencer from yesterday, asking if he's okay, if he's home, wondering how happy we are. I have other texts from Wendy and Mike, asking the same types of questions that my friends did. I send some quick responses to all of them and let them know that we're home, we slept for a very long time, and that I'll contact them later with more updates.

Spencer's quiet footsteps approach and I turn to face him, breathing a sigh of relief when I find he's not so worked up anymore. "I hope waffles are okay."

Once I've closed the waffle maker and let it start cooking, I glance over my shoulder to ee what Spencer is doing. He's sitting gingerly at the island, placing his elbows on the granite and eyes darting around the room. Honestly, I don't even know why he sat there. He absolutely hated sitting there and eating yesterday, and it made him have some sort of flashback. Maybe it's because he started off the morning with the prison-bed situation, and now the natural order of events in the day is to be transported right to prison-breakfast.

"Hey, bub, you don't have to sit at the table," I say casually, trying not to bring too much attention to it. "You didn't like that yesterday. But you seemed better when we sat on the floor so we can do that again, or we can go on the couch or the balcony." I don't even have time to see his reaction before the waffle maker beeps, and I have to whip around to pull the waffle out.

I can hear Spencer shuffling behind me, and then I feel his shoulder brushing against my leg as he slides down to the floor beside me. I put the waffle onto the plate and hand it down to him, then open the drawer above his head to grab a fork.

"Thank you," Spencer mumbles, catching my free hand in his and pressing his lips to the back of my hand. It's clearly a thank you for more than just handing him a fork, or making him breakfast, or sleeping with him, or showering with him, or anything of that. It's a thank you for being so patient with him, but I couldn't fathom not being there for him in the way he needs. I want to tell him that he doesn't need to thank me, but in his mind, it is something he needs to do, so I decide to let it happen for a while before I start to refuse his thanks.

The next week functions almost identical to this. Spencer is quiet, keeping to himself and eating his meals on the floor and making the bed perfectly in the morning, cleaning the bedroom floor every night, wearing a tee shirt to bed. I get just a few glimpses of the man he was, but not many.

Emily had called later that day to let Spencer know that the entire BAU was placed on a mandatory six week leave, but also that he had to be evaluated for reinstatement. A whole slew of people have to review Spencer's actions, have to interview him, have to test him to see if he's fit to return to work, and he didn't take this news well. He didn't talk to me for a hours and just curled up on the floor of the bedroom, staring out the window with the drawn-back curtains. I tried, for so long, to get him to talk to me, but he didn't budge and he didn't even look at me. So I just grabbed whatever book was inside his go-bag from the last case he went on and sat beside him, reading aloud in an attempt to bring him back down to earth. And when he did, he went off to shower and then straight to bed.

Spencer's work is his life and there's few things he loves more than his work. I know that he would be lost without the BAU and that he would have absolutely no clue what to do with his life if he couldn't keep working there. So hearing that there's a chance that he may not be reinstated to the BAU is absolutely crushing.

On the other end of the spectrum, the prospect of Spencer not being reinstated isn't all bad to me. In his line of work, there are always going to be enemies. There's always going to be another Cat and another Lindsay. He's always going to have guns pointed at him and bombs blowing up beside him and people wanting to kill him. If he's not reinstated, I get to have him home every morning and night and I won't stare at the wall at lunch with Jenna, wondering if Spencer has just been shot or if he has a knife to his neck. I know that he would absolutely hate not being reinstated, but it would save me so much heartache.

That's an incredibly selfish thought, I know. I'm happy and willing to strip Spencer of one of the things that makes him happiest in his life just so I can sleep at night. But all I've wanted from the moment I met him is for him to be safe and to be happy and if he's not chasing serial killers, I know that he will at least be safe. Happy? I can't help but imagine he wouldn't be.

After a tense week at home, I convince Spencer to let me take him back to his apartment. He insists that he doesn't want for stay there and would rather stay with me, even though I said I would stay at his apartment with him, but I'm happy to let him keep with me. I just want him to be happy.

So I drove him over to his apartment, picked up most of his clothes and whatever else he was needing, and he rounds up an entire duffle bag full of books that I'm sure he would read in just one day. But we collect whatever he could possibly need and shove it in my car, then go straight back to my apartment. I'm starting to get a little stir crazy, being trapped in my apartment, but Spencer doesn't want to go out anywhere yet and the last thing on my mind is forcing him into things he's uncomfortable with.

"So what do you wanna do today?" I unzip the bag full of books and start making a few small piles against the wall, glancing over my shoulder at Spencer. He shrugs gently, too distracted with picking a record to properly respond to my question. Sighing, I return my attention to the books.

The record turns on and this time, I recognize it to be a record full of Christmas music. We've been listening to nothing but Taylor Swift, Frank Sinatra, and Christmas music this past week, and while that's my favorite music and I have no problem with it, it's odd. Spencer never really listened to that music, whether we were together or not. He always managed to convince me to put on some cello concerto that wound up being fifteen minutes long. I thought he would rather listen to that and not Christmas music when it's almost the summer, but I haven't questioned this yet.

"Could we," Spencer starts speaking after a moment, tearing my attention from the books, "maybe watch a movie?"

It's the first time he's suggested anything like that. Honestly, it's one of the first times he's suggested that we do anything. He's just been staying quiet and following me around like a puppy dog, watching me attempt to draw in a sketchbook or watching me cook or watching me do the laundry. He's stuck to my side, even if he hasn't been touching me much. So now that he's suggesting that we do something, I'm not about to pass up this development.

"Yeah, of course. You can choose whatever you want. I'll be over there when I'm done," Spencer nods and turns his back to me, and I pick up my pace in emptying the books from the duffle bag. I don't want to lose this momentum of him, maybe, feeling just a little bit better.

Once I've stacked all the books, I fold up the duffle bag nicely and put it in a place where it won't bother Spencer, and then head into the living room. He's sitting on the couch with a DVD case in his lap, and he holds it out to me when I approach. Always a technophobe, he never goes near the DVD player and lets me do it.

"Polar Express?" I raise my eyebrows, but that's as far as my questioning goes. I pop the DVD out of the case and put it into the player, then grab the remote and press play.

I settle onto the couch with my favorite plaid blanket, draping it over my lap. As the movie starts and the title screen shows, I feel cold. I'm completely covered and under my trusty blanket, but I'm cold. Absolutely freezing. I pull the blanket tighter around me and when my temperature doesn't shift, I quickly realize where the cold is coming from.

Spencer and I are a very physical couple. Despite his aversion to touch, he never seemed to have the problem when it came to me. Especially when we watched movies, we were always touching. Legs, hands, shoulders and heads, laps and heads. There was always a connection, but now there's none. I'm left on my own couch cushion, not sharing Spencer's cushion and continuously pushing closer and closer until we're squished together. A shiver runs down my spine.

We watch the movie in silence for a little while, all the way up until the three main characters are singing a song at the back of the train. And while they're singing, I feel Spencer reaching over, grabbing the edge of the blanket, tugging it closer to him. "You can come closer," he tells me, looking up at me through his lashes, fingers grasping the fuzz of the blanket.

Happy to comply with this request, I scoot closer to him until our legs are touching. I think that's enough for now, but then Spencer slings his arm over my legs and tugs me closer until my knees collapse over his legs and I'm laying my head on his chest. It's a position that I'm so familiar with and I've been dying to be in, but he hasn't been up for lately. My body warms up. The shivers stop.

I completely melt into his embrace, pressing my ear against his chest to listen for the steady beat of his heart as I wrap my arm around his stomach. I let my eyelids flutter closed and relax into him. The movie isn't important anymore, at least not to me.

///

SPENCER

///

Today is a good day, one of the first I've actually had since being home since my prison release. I thought that actually leaving Amelia's apartment would make me nervous, but returning home wasn't as horrible as it seemed like it would be. For once, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm even feeling well enough to watch a movie and cuddle with Amelia on the couch, just like we used to do. She still can't creep up behind me or touch me without showing me her hands first and I still can't eat at a table, but it's an improvement. Albeit a tiny one, but it's there nonetheless.

By the time the movie is coming to an end, Amelia has slid down to rest her head on my lap, her curls sprawled out and her hands pulled up to her chin. She looks ridiculously adorable like this, and even though it's a sight that I've seen many times and I've committed to memory, I wish I could sit and stare at her forever.

But that plan is foiled when my phone starts buzzing on the coffee table. My first instinct is to look down to check that Amelia is still sleeping, and all she does is scrunch up her nose a bit before relaxing. Adorable.

I grab a pillow from beside me and slide it under her head when I slip out from under her. Thankfully, she doesn't notice and she doesn't wake up. Pleased with this, I grab my phone and rush onto the balcony. I don't have time to check who it is before I answer. "Reid."

"Hey, Reid," Rossi's voice comes through the phone. "How's it going?"

"It's-" I ponder my answer for a moment, double-checking that the door is closed as I sink into one of Amelia's adirondack chairs, "um, it's a good day today."

"Good, I'm glad. And I'm glad you've got Amelia to look after you. You've got a good one there. She really cares about you," Rossi says, and his words prompt me to turn and peer into the window at her sleeping form, curled up on the couch and holding the blanket to her chest. "Where-- uh-- where is she right now?"

"She's sleeping right now. I'm on the balcony," Honestly, this is already some of the most talking I've done in the last week and I'm exhausted. I'd rather be talking to Amelia, but Rossi called me for a reason, plus I know that Amelia needs to get some sleep. "Did you need something?"

"Yeah. I'm afraid I may need to bring your day down a bit," Rossi sighs, and my heart drops down to my feet. "I feel horrible calling you now, after everything you went through and while the BAU is on leave, but you need to know the situation."

I furrow my eyebrows, balling my free hand into a fist, digging my nails into my palm to give the pain somewhere to go. "What situation?"

"Damian Kelsey's signature popped up on two bodies in LA."

I didn't think that I would have to face a day where Damian Kelsey's signature reappears. I admit that I have stayed late at work many times just to look at Damian's case file and rememorize the details and try to predict what his next murder would have been all while ignoring the chilling family photos that contain my girlfriend as a horribly abused child.

And this is the worst possible time for this to happen. I can barely go a day without flashing back to prison or almost yelling at my amazing and patient girlfriend. How can I possibly tack on dealing with her serial killer father's signature resurfacing, all while trying to keep it a secret from her? It's nearly impossible. I thought that I could just take these stupid six weeks off to spend time with Amelia and try to rest comfortably, but I guess that's not possible.

"I'm heading to LA as we speak. I'm getting on a plane right now. And while we both know what his signature coming up again could mean, the good thing is that these are male victims and they're not surrogates for Amelia. I know that's what you're worried about. The other good thing is that this is across the country and obviously nowhere near Virginia. So--"

"Spencer?" Amelia's sweet voice comes from the balcony doors, the blanket disregarded on the couch and her hair messy on the top of her head.

"Gotta go," I mumble, hanging up my phone and tossing it aside, not even waiting to say goodbye to my coworker.

Amelia steps onto the balcony, her bare feet silent as she approaches me slowly, rubbing her eyes like a small child. "Everything okay?"

I reach my hands out for her and she smiles, placing her hands in mine and slowly sinking onto my lap, resting her head on my chest, similar to the position we had been in before. Amelia runs a hand over my chest and it takes everything in me not to let out a sound akin to a cat purring.

I just hold her tightly in my arms, probably the tightest I have since I saw her for the first time in the parking lot of my correctional facility. Rossi swears that Damian Kelsey won't come after Amelia but I just hold her tighter, as if that will protect her from the horrors of the world. I have a lot of holding to make up for from when I was gone, and I suppose that time starts now.

TAGLIST

@babybloodstonebones @bxnnywriting @blameitonthenight21 @feralreid @anepiphany @reidscardigan @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @4x24 @whollytaciturn @thegingerfairchild @yasminwashere @shrimpyblog @anamelessfacelessnerd @wonderlandhatter @whxt-to-write @just-call-me-non @imagining-in-the-margins @boldlyvoid @homoose @gubler-me-up @thundergunexpresss @eideticmemory @andiebeaword

[kiwikyuu]

━━━━━━━━ all the different shades of orange ; hinata shōyō

summary — whoever said that hinata shōyō is a ball of sunshine is a liar

word count — 3k

genre — imagine ; kinda enemies to lover, fluff

warning(s) — major spoilers about spring interhigh for those of you who haven't read the manga, insults thrown around, kinda out of character hinata, cursing, not edited

a/n — okay but have y'all seen e2l hinata shōyō besides kagehina lmao because i haven't and thought it'd be interesting to try out. also wow i have never put so much effort into a work like this one (hopefully it reaches a lot of people and you can all find some joy in reading!)

❝ WATCH WHERE YOU'RE FUCKING GOING NEXT TIME, YOU ROTTEN BELL PEPPER. ❞

Hate was a strong word but the flaring anger in your heart and overwhelming urge to run into a wall whenever your eyes landed on that tangerine said otherwise. It wasn't that you went out of your way to dislike someone that has everyone wrapped around their finger. It just so happened that you had no tolerance for bullshit, and Hinata Shōyō pissed you off in every way possible.

It started on the first day of high school.

Walking beside Minari, a friend from middle school, the two of you were eager to leave the building. The idea of grabbing steamed buns had unraveled itself in your mind, and what better way to enjoy food than by sharing?

"Are you going to try out for any clubs?" Your elbow bumped against hers as you two walked the slowly emptying hallway. "I think I saw the girls soccer team holding tryouts soon."

Minari shrugged, but you could already see the thoughts pinging in her mind. "I might if I can."

See, the two of you had almost reached the staircase when it happened. Minari's long hair covered her view from time to time, so you were used to looking out for her while chastising the girl about the usefulness of a hairband. But what you didn't expect as you pulled the girl aside just as a gaggle of guys rushed by was the full strength of a short orange-haired boy catching you off guard and nearly sending you tumbling down the flight of stairs.

"I'm sorry! I - I didn't see you there!" He shouted, his hand coming out to latch instinctively onto your school uniform before you could be thrown back far. "And on the first day too... I'm so sorry! Please accept my apology."

You stared at the short boy standing before you looking positively green with anxiety and guilt. Minari was already calming him down with mentions of accepting his apology, but all you could focus on was the pounding beat of your heart and the tingling feeling in your legs from your near-fatal experience.

"Watch where you're fucking going next time, you rotten bell pepper," you muttered before pushing his fingers off your now wrinkled white shirt.

You had walked away first, Minari in tow, but not before catching the shine of his name tag, 'Hinata Shōyō,' and the wide-eyed stare on his face that sent shivers down your back.

From that day forward, every flash of orange around the school seemed to be followed by a glare on your end and a roll of eyes on his.

"You're in the way, pumpkin head." Your words cut through the chattering hallway and sliced at Hinata who in turn threw you a pointed look, something that all the First Year students knew by now was reserved for only you. "I'm trying to get to the library, but somebody's walking too slow. Aren't you supposed to be on the volleyball team?"

Hinata scoffed, but stepped aside to let you through. Dirty looks were all he had in his armory apparently as time after time after sending an insult or two his way, he held his tongue. You liked to think it was because he didn't have the proper brain cells to form a response, but sometimes you wondered if you were being too much.

Up ahead, Minari waved at you to hurry before all the seats at the library were taken. Shaking yourself of your thoughts, you walked over to her. Unbeknownst to you, while you shouldered your bag, your wallet tipped over and fell out at a certain somebody's feet.

Hinata picked up your ratty wallet, noticing it on the floor, and went to call out to you before catching himself. What did he care? Still, unable to ignore it, he pocketed your belonging making note to give it back to you later. Right now, he had a game to worry about.

Somehow you had ended up at the Karasuno vs. Aoba Johsai game during the Interhigh Preliminaries. Minari had dragged you up to the stands as discreetly as possible after convincing you that she wasn't feeling up to study. Considering she had her eyes set on a certain 5'10 blueberry, you were foolish enough to think that she'd wanted to take you some place fun.

Now as the two of you stared down at the game happening eagerly, you let out a sigh upon noticing Hinata. As if your day couldn't have gotten worse after misplacing your wallet, you were displeased to find that he was looking right back up at you with the same wide-eyed stare he had when you two had first met.

Shivers ran down your back almost as if on cue, and you tore your gaze away from him fully ready to leave the gymnasium and trudge back home. But had you turned away, you would have missed the freakish oddball combination execute their quick attack.

"Holy shit," you breathed. "What the fuck was that?"

Minari smirked. "Tobio-kun is a great setter, isn't he? Or were you too focused on Mr. Bell Pepper to notice."

You shot her a frosty look, pushing down the stuttering emotion starting to rise in your chest that most definitely did not feel like anger. "As if."

The game continued for what seemed like days but turned out to be hours at most ending at a score of 1:2 in Aoba Johsai's favor.

Deafening silence overtook your ears. Minari was quick to leave the stands, mumbling something about consoling the fallen setter while your eyes searched for some semblance of sunshine in Hinata's sullen ones.

Spotting his sunken expression, you felt yourself regret the hatred that had sparked for him for just a moment. A fleeting moment that buried itself in your heart, planting a seedling of growing doubt.

"Minari, we have to catch the bus back!" You called out to your friend as you joined her on the gymnasium floor.

She glanced your way, halting the conversation she had began with her Tobio-kun. "Two minutes, and then we can go. Please?"

You nodded despite feeling discomfort crawling up your spine at being surrounded now by those you didn't know. You settled by the door, checking your phone mindlessly to pass the short time only looking up when an outstretched hand came into view.

"You dropped this earlier." Hinata's words were short, sharp, and you were suddenly glad you had never been on the end of his scathing remarks. "On your way to the library," he continued.

"Oh," was all your malfunctioning mind could come up with as he took your open hand in his, placing your wallet gently in your palm. The warmth of his skin seemed pressed into your own even after he had started to stalk away.

Clearing your throat, you spoke before you could stop yourself. "You did well today. I - uh," you paused. What were you even saying? "I watched from the stands."

He offered you a soft smile, one that you realized could light the world aflame, before walking back to his awaiting team.

You placed your hand over your drumming heart, sedating the flustered feeling he had left behind with you, chanting in your mind over and over again that Hinata Shōyō was a menace and you had no plan to ever like him let alone fall for him.

But no one ever plans to fall in love.

The Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club seemed to practice non-stop funnily enough, rather motivated by their loss from months ago instead of despaired. Minari had become a regular face during practice as she cheered the boys on in an attempt to woo Kageyama still, and by fault, so had you.

"Y/N, Tangerine's on his way over here." Minari nudged you, stealing your attention from the workbook open in your lap.

You shrugged, trying to focus on anything other than your slowly rising heartbeat. "Why? Did the coach bench him for his subpar plays?"

"No, actually Tangerine wanted to give you something but he's currently reconsidering."

You looked up immediately, eyes narrowing upon noticing Hinata standing in front of you with a small smirk. "You're looking really fucking smug for a guy who still needs to work on his skills. Kageyama says you lack basic technique."

Hinata rolled his eyes at you. "You're being rude."

"It's because I don't like you," you answered smoothly. "So get back to practice before you lose any more volleyball brain cells."

He let out a small laugh. Turning away, for a moment you thought he'd actually leave as simple as that, but just before he took another step, he tossed something your way. It fell on top of your workbook, smacking against the thin pages, causing a couple of the boys to look your way while Hinata jogged back to the net.

Minari leaned in closer to you. "He got you—" She cocked her head in confusion. "A wallet?"

It was a deep shade of orange that almost made you laugh out in irony. Detailed with card slots and a latch with snapping buttons, the wallet was definitely an improvement from the one you had right now.

"That's sweet... right?" Minari questioned, watching your expression as you opened the wallet to reveal a note — scratchy handwriting on a scrap of notebook paper.

'thought your wallet looked ratty old. not in a mean way of course!!!!

— your favorite, Pumpkin Head Shōyō

ps. my sister picked out the color :p'

"Stupid fucking carrot," you whispered under your breath, feeling your cheeks grow warm at his message. "I don't need a new wallet."

Minari scoffed at your words, turning to face you completely and taking your hands in hers with seriousness. "Be honest with me." You stared at her blankly. "Be honest, and tell me if you actually hate Hinata as much as you say you do. Why don't you just drop the act? You two obviously like each other enough to be friends, so why keep this all up? Isn't it tiring?"

Her words echoed through the hallways of your mind minutes, hours, and days after. Sitting at your desk in school, on your walk home, lying in bed staring up at the ceiling, they were as loud as life itself.

You thumbed the straps of your bag while waiting for the bus. The sun was slowly dropping from the sky, setting on the horizon leaving you in a thoughtful orange haze.

You two obviously like each other enough to be friends, so why keep this all up? Isn't it tiring?

The weeks following were conflicting and chaotic. Exam season settled on Karasuno High School jolting the students and staff into a cloud of stress.

You spent your spare time at the library, eyes boring into material that just wouldn't stick while a certain rotten bell pepper took his seat next to you.

"I have to pass my finals or Sugawara senpai is going to nail me to a wall," Hinata explained, spreading his notebooks out on the desk and bumping his elbow against yours in the process. "You do well in your classes, right? Do you — " He looked abash. "D - Do you mind helping me?"

Against your better judgement, you nodded. Looking back now, you suppose that's where your odd friendship began.

Days on end, the two of you would stay behind to cycle through the material slowly building a tolerance of each other much to everyone's surprise.

"Do you still hate me?" The question came one night, the weekend before his exams.

Hinata looked at you from where he sat on the swings, kicking his feet at the sandy grounds. The two of you were at the park, cooling off after a long study session.

Your eyes fell to the can of convenience store coffee in your hands. The slight of the passing breeze drilled his question further in your mind.

"No, I don't think so," came your answer, words wobbly and unsure despite the thrum of your heart beating loudly against your chest and the warmth in your cheeks.

Silence filled the space between you two before Hinata finally spoke up again.

"Then do you like me?"

Your body felt lit aflame, mind jumping immediately to the way he made you feel things you hadn't much before. "As a friend," you decided after a moment of flustered emotions. "We're friends, I guess."

Hinata nodded thoughtfully. "Well, I like you." He took a deep breath. "As more than a friend, but if you feel that way then I'll wait for you. We have time."

His confession became lost among the flurry of thoughts and colliding emotions raging on inside you. Before you could say anything in response, Hinata got to his feet, shooting you that now familiar smile of his and offering you his hand.

The new year overwhelmed your senses like a storm of rain after a drought. Refreshed after the break, you returned to school with a new sense of purpose amplified by the motivation the new year always brings.

Hinata's confession had remained in your mind, pushed to the back by celebration but still bugging you every so often. The apricot haired boy had showed up, throwing ping pong balls (of all things) at your window to catch your attention over the break asking if you wanted to go grab something sweet with him. You promptly responded with a rejection, only to find yourself walking with him ten minutes later.

"How was your break?" Minari asked, bundled in a jacket, scarf, and hat. She joined you at your side, catching you on your walk from the bus stop to school.

You shrugged, pulling your puffy jacket closer to you. "It was okay. You?"

She smiled. "Hung out with Tobio-kun. We went for hot chocolate, and he taught me how to set." Her eyes seemed almost dazzling at the memory, and you laughed, pushing her lightly away.

"You and your Tobio-kun are positively gross," you said. "Absolutely—"

Your words were halted at the feeling of warm fabric settling around your neck and a known face popping up beside you with a proud smile.

"Stay warm. You can give it back to me later," Hinata said before jogging away to catch up with a pair of Second Year boys ahead.

Your hand came up to the green scarf around your neck, failing to form comprehensive sentences. Heart thundering, you ignored the funny looks others sent your way. Glancing at Minari, you caught her slipping giggles.

"What happened to Hinata Shōyō being a rotten bell pepper?"

"Shut up."

Lending you his scarf when days seemed too cold was just the beginning of it all. Days turned into weeks turned into months of Hinata pining after you and you—though obvious to everyone else—trying to decipher your feelings for him.

"Hey, I missed you," Hinata said to you lightly after you had agreed to drop something off for Kageyama on Minari's behalf. Quickly realizing the meaning of his words, however, Hinata corrected himself. "I mean—um, as in I m - missed you earlier. Like... like I didn't catch you today, you know?"

You tilted your head at him with endearment, a small smile playing across your lips at the sight of his blushing face. "Yeah, don't worry. I got it, sweet potato."

His flustered expression dropped. "You think I'm sweet?"

Your eyes widened, stuttering to form a response and correct yourself out of this situation you had suddenly been thrusted in. Luckily, Kageyama came to your rescue before you could embarrass yourself.

"Hinata, boke, stop flirting with Y/N!" The tall blueberry haired boy towered over Hinata with a menacing glare and a scoff. Kageyama turned to you with a blank look you took for an apologetic expression.

Shaking your head profusely, you put your hands up in surrender. "Ah, no worries, Kageyama. I—uh, I have something for you from Minari. She has classroom duties today, so she couldn't come herself."

Kageyama nodded, taking the wrapped bento box that Minari had prepared for him from your outstretched hands. He mumbled words of thanks before stalking off while muttering under his breath a colorful range of insults at Hinata who in turn sent him a funny face.

The Spring Interhigh was coming up, and you were sure the Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club was itching for redemption after what had happened last August. Deciding that you didn't want to interrupt their practice any further, you made move to leave only to stop at the feeling of a hand on your wrist.

Glancing back, you raised an eyebrow in surprise at Hinata's sudden action. "What are you—"

The tangerine boy had exchanged his lighthearted expression of just minutes ago with a look that you could only describe as properly motivated. "When we make it to Nationals, promise to give me a chance."

All around you, the gym seemed to fade until only Hinata was in your line of vision.

When we make it to Nationals, he had said, not if.

Unable to respond, you found yourself nodding because who were you to kid yourself at this point?

The Karasuno Boys Volleyball Club did, in fact, make it to Nationals, but unfortunately lost to Kamomedai High School in the quarter-final round while Hinata spent his time at the hospital.

Hooked up to an IV line and dressed in one of those flimsy hospital gowns, Hinata looked unusually weak laying down on the bed. The others had left not long after you had arrived though some took more convincing than others.

"Next time, you can keep your scarf to yourself," you said, cutting the silence short with a lighthearted remark.

Hinata smiled weakly at that, his hand coming to rest atop your folded ones on your lap. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

You shook your head. "Obviously, you can't take care of yourself." Slipping your hands from under his, you took the hand warmers out of your pockets and placed one in each of his hands. "Luckily, you got me."

His face lit up. "Oh, do I now?"

Warmth spread through your body as you looked away from his hopeful gaze. "Well, you did make it to Nationals."

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #hinata headcanons #hinata imagine #hinata shoyo x you #hinata shoyo x y/n #hinata x reader #hinata x you #hinata x y/n #hinata shoyo headcanons #hinata shoyo imagine #hinata shoyo x reader

[septembers-kingdom-of-dreams]

September's Kingdom of Dreams

Chapter 3

They'd had it coming. Nauria had told them, for years and years, people like them wouldn't hold the throne for long. But nooooo, little power plays were more important to the king and queen than the wellbeing of everyone else. They'd deserved what had happened.

The others however hadn't. Nauria dreaded to think of what could have happened to Gardan and the rest of his expedition troop. And of course, Crimson. The princess. Too young to understand the heaviness of her responsibilities, but young enough to learn to face them better than her parents had. She had the precious gift of time to change, time that she would spend knowing the terrible fate of those who refused to learn. She'd seen it with her own eyes.

But for now they only had to do one thing: Escape the castle.

The unusual pair was rushing down into the vault, Nauria clutching Crimson's hand. They heard voices from above, screams, cruel laughter, harsh commands. Then the squeaking gate to the vault opened.

"Bubak, Hallafeen, you search the dungeons. They have to be down there."

A voice with a slight lisp answered. "B-but she's just a child. What's the most she can do?"

"Listen to me you useless sack of straw!", the commander bellowed. "Everything that remains of the Calderia line will threaten our glorious revolution, so go down there, and finish her!"

"We're gonna be found," Crimson whispered timidly.

"Don't worry, we'll be fine," Nauria whispered back. Then she heard footsteps and pulled the princess into an empty cell. "Stay quiet!"

Two figures passed by, a man with dark blonde hair and white clothes and a nervously twitching silhouette with what appeared to be a massive amount of....straw for hair. With his every step he left behind dry blades of grass and occasionally wilted flowers.

The other man abruptly elbowed him in the ribs and he doubled over in pain.

"Look at the mess you're making!", the blonde hissed. "Everyone will see where we've been!"

"I'm sorry, I can't help it-"

"Shut up!" The blonde sharply inhaled through his teeth. "We're splitting up. I'm going to the other wing, you search here." He grabbed the other man by the collar and slightly shook him. "And if you let them escape, I'm breaking your arm again."

With that he left.

For a few moments it was quiet. Then the young man turned over and looked directly at the dark prison cell.

"Hey," he whispered. "I know you're here anyway. I don't want to hurt you."

Nauria hesitated. Was it a trick?

"Look, I can see in the dark, okay? I know you think I'm bluffing, but it's the truth. Listen, I wanna give you some time before Hallafeen comes back, so please hurry up. You can even threaten me with that lovely sword you have, if that makes you feel safer."

Nauria felt the cold handle of Heartpiercer in her hand. Then she took a deep breath, gave Crimson a reassuring nod and stepped into the dim light of the flickering torches.

At first Nauria thought the stranger was wearing a mask, but then she realized that he wasn't. The man standing there and patiently waiting, was a scarecrow.

She raised Heartpiercer, but she wasn't even sure where to aim now. He acknowledged her confusion with a tired twitch of his mouth.

"Why do you want to help us?", Nauria asked.

He shrugged his narrow shoulders. "I don't know. I feel like I should."

"That doesn't sound very convincing."

"Do you have any other options?"

Nauria hesitated, then shook her head. "Nope."

"Good. Did you have any plans how to escape the castle?"

"There's a window in the back where one can climb out."

"Good. You go there, I'm holding up Hallafeen. Deal?"

"Deal."

They hurried down the corridor, until finally, they reached the window. Nauria helped Crimson climb on the windowsill, but once the little princess was there she grabbed the Pirate Queen's arm in white-knuckled terror.

"It's so high!" Her voice was shaking.

"Hey. Hey." Nauria was trying to calm her own racing heartbeat. "You'll be fine. I promise."

Footsteps in the distance. The scarecrow spun around, panic in his face. "Hurry up!"

Nauria bit her lip. Then she made a decision and drew her sword.

"Take Heartpiercer," she whispered. "It'll protect you."

Crimson's red eyes widened as her small hands closed around the cold handle. She glanced up at Nauria, swallowed hard and nodded.

Hallafeen appeared around the corner and Bubak leaped forward to hold him up. "Hallafeen, wait-!"

A blade slashed through his face, followed by a punch and the cracking of bones. The scarecrow yelped and curled up on the floor in pain. Nauria spun around, her eyes wide open.

"Crimson, save yourself!", she yelled.

And the princess jumped.

***

The rain was still drumming on the ceiling of the camping trailer. A stray raccoon found an open window and shuffled inside. It jumped on the wooden table and shook it's damp fur. Silver water droplets flew everywhere, softly plopping against the glass of the window.

The raccoon's muddy paws left stains on the previously clean table as it shuffled over the polished surface and jumped onto the floor. It was hungry.

A bag of crisps on the shelf smelled promising. The raccoon's claws tapped on the ground as it scurried over. Plastic rustled when it climbed into the bag and started munching on the unprecedented snack.

When the raccoon's head appeared from the depths of the crisp bag it suddenly felt watched. Hesitantly, it turned around and realized in utter horror that a human was lying right by the shelf and looking right at it. It bounced to the floor, but then realized that the human wasn't moving.

It's dead, the raccoon thought. It had a small brain, but eventually it came to the conclusion that if something as large as a human had died in this strange box, then a small raccoon probably wasn't safe either. With a small metaphorical sigh the raccoon braced itself and climbed back outside into the storm.

#september's kingdom of dreams

[capri-ramblings]

Ruggie Bucchi x male reader Angst? (it's ok if you're uncomfortable, you can put neutral reader in here! ^^) Reader confess their feeling to ruggie but ruggie reject reader feelings and say sharp words towards the reader. Time passes and ruggie starts to develop feelings toward the reader and starts to regret what he did. I hope it's not too much to ask for this!

This was too long I have to make a separate post for Part 2 lmao but I hope you love this as much I loved working on it even when angst isn't my best skill 😩💖

[A Hyena's Nip] Part 1

Ruggie always kinda knew you had a thing for him. It was in the glances you stole at him when you thought he couldn't see, in every good morning smile you gave to him each time you passed him in-between classes. You also always seemed so... flustered whenever he came near you, but if he was being honest, it didn't bother him all that much.

He did find it a bit weird though, cause he was a guy and you were a guy and there's like a lot of other guys out there that you could be crushing on and honestly, you looked like the clingy type too. The same type of clingy Ruggie always wanted to avoid in girls.

So,it didn't came as a surprise when you went and confessed to him after club activities, telling him how much you liked him and stuff, but it still kinda took him off guard. Ruggie wasn't actually expecting you to pour out your feelings, well, he was hoping that you weren't going to because if he had to be honest,this situation you put him in was very awkward.

He didn't like guys as much as he didn't like girls and not because he doesn't have those kind of urges but because he finds the whole 'i like you,you like me,let's date!' relationship kinda pointless, and time consuming.

You were a good kid though. Ever since you came and got stuck in this school, you always made an effort to lend a hand to anyone who needed it, and there was that time when Leona almost turned his hand into nothing more than dust particles and you practically threw yourself in front of him to stop that from happening. He was grateful, of all the people present then, he wasn't expecting you to come and save him.

Staring down at you now, with your head lowered as your hands fiddled with the hem of your gym wear, Ruggie felt bad that he was going to reject you flat out and he wasn't going to be nice about it too, cause chances are you'll tell him it's okay and that being friends is just enough and when has that actually worked out well for both parties? No. You weren't going to be okay and being friends after telling someone that big of a secret isn't a good story.

He was doing you a favour. Yeah, you'll be down about it, but there's literally a bunch of guys out there other than him. You'll move on and get over him quick. All Ruggie had to do was give you that first push. Even if you'd scrap your knee from it.

"I really,really like you, Ruggie and I know this sounds weird seeing that we're both guys but—"

"But what?" Ruggie cut you off before you could finish and all the nerves you were trying to not acknowledge immediately came washing over you as you saw Ruggie's expression shifted into annoyance.

"If you know that this is weird, what were you expecting? Some kind of fairytale to happen?"

He sounded so harsh despite his voice barely budging, and the words he threw at you made your skin cold. Was he mad? Did you actually went and made Ruggie mad? You were hesitant at first to use this opportunity of the two of you being alone to cleanup after club activities to confess to him, but was it a bad move?

"I,well,I...um.." You tried to speak but your words seemed too far away now and instinctively you averted Ruggie's gaze.

This was a mess. An absolute nightmare. And as if it couldn't get any worst, Ruggie started laughing. He started laughing and you could feel your existence cave in on you.

"Man,look at you! You actually did think some kind of lovey-dovey scenario was going to play out, didn't you?"

One of the things you always found attractive about Ruggie was his laugh. It never failed to make you feel better about a bad situation. But as the realization dawned on you that the same laugh was being used to condescend you...You wanted to cover your ears and run away. If only you could though, it was hard to move when your knees felt like buckling down.

"Hey,answer me." Ruggie nudged you in the shoulder and you winced. "Did you think I was going to feel the same?"

No. Of course not. You had a feeling this was going to happen, you kept denying it but it was often there lingering in the back of your mind. You only hoped for a mutual feeling from Ruggie.

"I'm sorry." You muttered out,lips quivering and eyes burning from the tears you fought back. Your throat felt dry and your chest hurt. Scratch that, your heart felt like it fucking stopped and you regretted ever thinking Ruggie would like you.

"What? Now, you're apologizing?" Ruggie sounded frustrated and looking at you trembling from the rejection kinda ticked him off somehow. Were you really a boy if something as simple as a crush got you all teary eyed?

"Look, I don't know what you were expecting from this whole confession thing, but the bottom line here is that I don't like you that way, and I probably never would." He placed a casual hand on your shoulder then, giving you a slight shake before he pulled away and turned on his heels, his hands folded behind his neck.

"So,just drop it okay? See ya around,kid."

The sound of Ruggie's voice along with the light steps he left behind felt too distant for you to actually hear, but the weight of it all, the rejection and hurt that swelled inside you then, seemed too real to be just a simple nightmare.

As you stood there, motionlessly staring at the ground, you felt your heart shattered in your chest, the bits and pieces of its shards prickling into your flesh.

***

"Hey,____!" Deuce was waving his hand in front of your face, his brows furrowed when you looked up at him all dazed and distant.

"You weren't even listening were you?"

"...Sorry,Deuce. I was thinking."

"And here I thought thinking would only hurt Deuce that way but I guess you guys do share a brain cell after all,huh?" Ace was smirking when he said this, obviously pleased with the reaction he got from Deuce who all but scowled at him.

Another class had ended today, and still, you weren't sure you even heard anything that went on throughout each lesson. Ever since your confession, your headspace had been slightly off. It's like you couldn't even go to your own thoughts without replaying Ruggie's words.

You planted your head on your table with a dull thud and both Ace and Deuce looked to you worryingly.

"You look kinda sick,dude. What about you just skip classes for today?"

"Ace, skipping classes will only get him into trouble"

"What are you? His mom?"

Deuce frowned but turned to you instead, staring at you as if he was trying to read your defeated form, and though you knew well enough that neither one of them would know the reason behind your dispirited self, the fear of them actually finding out still bothered you.

So when you lifted your head, you forced on a smile even when the simple gesture felt like tearing off parts of your own skin.

"I'm fine guys,stop worrying or you're really gonna start looking like my mom."

"Yikes" Ace grimaced. "Definitely not letting that happen,no offense. I'm sure your mom's pretty decent"

Deuce was touching his face when he shook his head and crossed his arms. He still looked worried and unconvinced, and it was starting to give you a churning feeling in your stomach.

"Still,I think you should get some early rest today. You look too pale and your eyes are super red. Didn't you get any sleep?"

No. No you didn't. You spent most of your nights staring blankly at your ceiling while your chest throbbed against your ribcages. You couldn't sleep because whenever you did you heard Ruggie's laugh mocking you and then you'd see him glowering down at you like you were the most disgusting thing he's ever seen.

You heaved a shaky sigh, trying so desperately to keep up your smile despite your voice cracking slightly when you spoke.

"It's nothing,really."

Deuce still frowned,but he let the subject go and the three of you spent the remaining day in various classes as usual before school day ended, and you were heading back to your dorms.

"You could stay and hang with us for a bit, bet Riddle wouldn't mind if we told him you were coming over?" Deuce sent you a sympathetic smile, as if somehow despite how dense you thought he was he knew something wasn't right with you, and for a minute, you wondered then why you hadn't fell for Deuce instead. Maybe he wouldn't have been so harsh.

"Thank,Deuce, but Grim stayed behind today cause he claimed one of the ghosts punched him too hard while they were playing and I think having too much alone time for him would be bad"

Deuce laughed and nodded his head.

"See ya around then, Mr. Prefect"

"Yeah. See ya."

The walk back to Ramshackle Dorm felt like an eternity, and as you placed one foot in front of the other, each step heavy and reluctant, you were beginning to wonder if you'll ever get there without passing out. It's been like this for almost a month now. You were eating lesser each passing day too, which didn't really help your already lethargic self. But every food you ate tasted stale, every small thing you did made you too tired and nothing really meant much point to you now. It all seemed so dull, so terribly agonizing. And all because you believed in that stupid dream of yours where Ruggie Bucchi would return your feelings.

You let out a self degrading laugh before rolling your eyes and gritting your teeth.

"What a dumbass" You said, speaking to yourself. "He's right you know, did I really think he was gonna sweep me up in his arms and say he liked me too? What a load of bullshit."

You stopped, shoulders slumping as the air you tried breathing in turned cold and hard to swallow.

How pathetic did you looked to him then? You couldn't help but wonder. Did he feel weirded out? Disgusted? Did he went back and told Leona and made it their joke of the day? The thoughts spiralled you back to square one and suddenly your throat burned.

Staggering to the closest bush, you fell to your knees and began to throw up.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst wonderland #twisted wonderland scenarios #twisted wonderland fanfic #twst wonderland angst #twst ruggie bucchi #ruggie bucchi #twst ruggie #male reader insert #ruggie x reader