#but rather like. how bad can a person go before they are too far gone? what are the consequences to restorative vs punitive justice?

[girlgenius1111]

wrong.

r is dating an older woman. her teammates don't approve. when r and her girlfriend breakup, she hides it from her teammates, determined not to let them know that they were right.

angst + fluff. breakup obviously. protective barca :)

When you'd decided to ignore your teammates feelings about your girlfriend, you didn't imagine it would end as terribly as it did. You chalked it up to them being overprotective, which they were, rather than them being right about her, which they also were. She was 28, and you were 19, and you knew they felt that she was too old for you. You were one of the younger players on the team, which you took as something of a challenge, as if you had to prove your maturity. That wasn't why you were dating someone so much older, but it was certainly a perk. You thought they'd be impressed when they met her, but they were not. They waited until she left to tell you that they thought it was a bad idea, that she was too old for you.

This only really strengthened your resolve to keep seeing her, much to your teammates frustration. They'd all tried to speak to you about it, promising that they just didn't want to see you get hurt or taken advantage of, but you wouldn't hear any of it. You all fell into an unspoken agreement to not discuss your girlfriend, as it was the cause of countless arguments, and they clearly weren't changing your mind. Alexia had finally thrown up her hands, saying that if you wanted to be immature and not listen to them, you were free to do so, but that you shouldn't expect them to be there to fix it when it inevitably ended poorly.

Alexia was just frustrated and worried, and she hadn't really meant it. She thought that was obvious; her and the team had made it clear, she thought, that they were always there for you. No matter what. They'd proven it, time and time again, but Alexia's words rattled around in your brain for days after she said them, and you were unable to pretend they hadn't hurt. Still, you pushed it to the back of your mind, confident that you wouldn't need your teammates, because nothing would go wrong.

-----

Of course, everything did go wrong. You had gone to your girlfriend's apartment to surprise her with dinner after training one day. You were in the kitchen, preparing to start cooking when you heard her key in the door. She was on the phone when she walked in, sitting on the couch and continuing her conversation, and you decided to wait until she was off the phone to announce your presence.

"No, really, it's fine. She doesn't have to know, and besides, she's just a bit of fun. She's 20, she can't possibly think I'm serious about her."

You felt nauseous. As far as you were aware, you were the only 20 year old she was seeing, which meant she was talking about you. It only got worse from there.

"I definitely prefer you, baby. Her body is nice, obviously, but I could do without her personality. She's young, and annoying, and she doesn't know how to shut up. I don't know how her team tolerates her, honestly, I can't spend more than a couple hours with her unless we're partaking in... other activities, and then her mouth is pretty busy."

You can hear the smirk in her voice, and you swear you can feel your heart fall out of your chest. She was speaking so carelessly about you, so cruelly. You felt used, and suddenly self conscious about everything you'd ever said. Was she right? Did you talk too much? Did the team secretly hate you? It only took you a few seconds to decide that she was probably right. She was older, the age of a lot of your teammates, and it seemed incredibly likely that they felt the same way.

Your embarrassment quickly turned to anger, though, as it often did, and you grabbed the flowers you'd brought her, and marched out into the living room. Her eyes widened, hand dropping the phone, and you threw the flowers in her direction, as well as the key to her apartment she'd given you, before walking right out the door, taking care to slam it behind you.

-----

You thought you were handling it pretty well. You walked right out of her apartment and to your car, driving home. You didn't cry, that would be ridiculous. What was there to cry about? You should have known it would end like this. You couldn't stand the thought of hearing your teammates I told you so's, nor the thought of them sticking to their guns, and not being there for you when you needed them, because they'd warned you. You decided that you wouldn't need them, then, which definitely was not fueled partly by your ex-girlfriend's words about them probably hating you. No, you were fine. Everything was fine.

You woke the next morning sadder than you'd been the night before. The anger had faded, leaving a hole in your chest, where the words you'd overheard were etched permanently. You knew that, in this state, it would take just one person asking if you were okay for you to break, and that was not an option. You would act as normal as possible, no one would suspect anything, and you could cry when you got home, not before.

-----

You wished you didn't have such perceptive teammates. You could have sworn you'd acted normally, completely normally, as you headed into the locker room that morning, joking around with Pina and Ona, and doing your best to keep a smile on your face. It was like the older girls had some internal alarm that went off when you weren't okay, and you felt their eyes flitting over to you throughout the morning gym session.

Still, you held strong, avoiding the girls that were watching you carefully, instead spending time with the younger girls, who were happy to joke around, which keep your mind off things. Your first real test came in the form of Lucy Bronze.

Everyone was walking out to the pitch, when she fell into step with you, slinging an arm over your shoulder.

"How did your surprise dinner go?" She asked. You'd completely forgotten that you'd told Lucy about that. She was one of the only ones who could be civil when talking about your girlfriend, taking the time to ask you about her, even though you knew she held the same opinions as the others.

"Oh. Fine. It was good." You replied shortly, and Lucy couldn't help but be slightly confused when you shrugged out from under her arm, and jogged away. You weren't one to spare details when telling a story, but you had evidently not wanted to talk about it. That wasn't like you.

"What special dinner?" Ingrid asked, coming up on the other side of Lucy as you literally ran away. Mapi was on her other side, also looking curiously at Lucy.

"She was surprising her girlfriend by cooking her dinner last night," Lucy explained and Mapi frowned.

"I don't like that girl." She stated plainly. "She's not good enough for our pequeña."

Ingrid rolled her eyes. "Everyone knows how you feel about her, love, you don't need to remind us every time she's brought up."

Mapi ignored her girlfriend. "She answered strangely, no? Normally she's talktative whenever someone asks about her girl, but she ran away from you." The Spaniard observed, watching as you sprayed water on Pina's head, your smile not quite reaching your eyes.

"Yeah, I guess. You know she hates hearing how much everyone dislikes her girlfriend though, it was probably just that." Lucy dismissed, but Mapi's eyes stay trained on you.

"Hmm."

"María, please don't get involved in that again, you know how upset it makes her when everyone has something to say about her relationship," Ingrid said reproachfully, fully understanding the look in her girlfriend's eyes.

"I am not going to get involved," Mapi defended. "I am just going to see if anyone else has any observations..."

Ingrid sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Don't mention this to Alexia until you're sure something is going on, she'll freak out."

"I won't." Mapi promised, distracted. Ingrid walked away to talk to Frido, and Mapi immediately found Alexia standing with Irene, and marched over.

Ingrid abruptly stopped talking, watching as Mapi seemingly did exactly what she ahd told her not to do.

"What?" Frido asked, following Ingrid's eyes to where Mapi was standing with the captains.

"Mapi's convinced something happened with y/n and her girlfriend, and I told her not to say anything because you know how y/n gets, especially not to Alexia, and look. She's doing exactly what I said not to." Ingrid sighed, exasperated.

"I don't like that girl." Frido said, frowning at the mention of your girlfriend.

Ingrid threw her hands in the air. "No one does! That doesn't mean we have to get all up in y/n's business. The more we push, the less likely she is to listen to us."

"Alright, relax, I agree with you." Frido said. Ingrid glared at Mapi from across the pitch, the Spaniard very obviously avoiding eye contact with her girlfriend. Jona called them over to start a drill, then, and all conversations came to a halt. For now.

-----

You weren't oblivious to the increase of attention on you after talking to Lucy, but you were determined not to acknowledge it. Your teammates were stubborn, though; almost as stubborn as you. You were walking off the pitch at the end of training, towards the locker room, when Alexia and Mapi appeared on either side of you.

"How was your night last night?" Alexia asked innocently, looking at you out of the corner of her eye.

"Fine?" You asked, feigning confusion.

"Do anything fun?" Mapi wondered.

"No." You said, because you weren't sure you could even discuss your ex at this point. Lucy had brought it up before, and you'd barely made it through that brief conversation.

"Really?" Both girls said in unison. You rolled your eyes.

"Yes." You huffed, getting frustrated, and they could tell. Alexia grabbed your wrist, stopping you, and her and Mapi moved to stand in front of you, blocking your path inside.

"Lucy said you did something fun with your girlfriend?" Alexia asked, raising a hand to shield her eyes from the sun. Mapi's arms were crossed, and it really felt like you were in trouble.

"Yeah, we had dinner. Can I go now?"

"No, you're being weird. Did something happen?" Mapi said, stepping closer to you.

"Nope," you shook your head stubbornly.

"Pequeña, you seem upset," Alexia reached out a hand to rest on your shoulder, but you moved out of the way.

"I am not upset." Your voice was completely devoid of emotion, and Mapi and Alexia exchanged looks, not used to you acting so stand offish towards them.

"If something happened, you can tell us," Alexia stated, not deterred by your behavior.

"I don't even know why you care, you said you didn't want to hear if something happened." You scoff. Your face is one of anger, but your body language radiates sadness.

"When did I say that? I always want to know whats going on with you."

"Alexia, you told me not to come crying to you if you ended up being right about her." The blonde was speechless, absolutely stunned that you had taken that to heart.

"I wasn't being serious, y/n." She said quietly, somewhat gaining an understanding of why you were being so resistant to them. You remained quiet, gaze fixed on the grass under your feet.

"Seriously, pequeña, if something happened with you and your girl, you can tell us." Mapi cut in. You groaned, running a hand through your hair. You weren't getting out of this, you knew.

"We broke up. You guys were right. Happy?"

"I am so sorry, y/n." Alexia sighed, moving closer as if to pull you into a hug. Instead, you pushed in between her and Mapi, stalking towards the locker room.

"No you aren't. You don't have to pretend you care. You don't want to hear about it, and I don't want to talk about it." You snapped over your shoulder, ignoring the way they followed you, calling your name.

You made it inside the locker room, aggressively throwing your things into your bag, and stomping back out towards the parking lot, completely ignoring the way every member of the team was watching you, concerned. Alexia and Mapi stood in the door, once again blocking your path.

"Y/n, stop," Mapi said. The room was quiet as everyone watched the standoff.

"Move." You said through clenched teeth. You were blinking back tears, and Alexia and Mapi softened at the sight. You took your opportunity, shoving them out of your way, and walking out without a look backwards. This time, the girls didn't follow you out of the room, instead looking like they were at a complete loss for what to do. As you walked down the hall, you heard the unmistakable voice of Ingrid cutting through the silence.

"María, I TOLD you not to bother her." The room erupted into conversation, and you left the building, wiping angrily at the tears falling down your face.

-----

You made it home, showering and fighting the urge to just get in bed and fall into misery. Instead, you focused on de-girlfriend-ing your apartment. There wasn't much, as you'd only been together for a few months, but you'd filled a garbage bag of her stuff, and headed down to the dumpster. You threw the bag out, and it didn't bring as much satisfaction as you'd hoped it would. You walked back to the front door of the building, rather dejected, when a voice called out to you.

"Y/n, you haven't been answering any of my calls," your ex said, jogging to where you stood frozen by the door. "Hey, baby," she continued, wrapping her arms around you and trying to pull you in. You unfroze, shoving her off you.

"Don't touch me." You snarled, backing into the door.

"Don't be like that, you weren't supposed to hear any of what I said."

"Is that supposed to make it better?"

"You're being dramatic, y/n, stop being so sensitive. This is what I was talking about, you won't even have a mature conversation with me about this." The girl standing in front of you was completely unrecognizable, to you at least. You wondered if this was the person all of your teammates had seen.

"There's no conversation to be had. We're done. You are a horrible person, and I never want to see you again."

Her face contorted in anger. "Did your teammates tell you to do this? They're probably just tired of hearing you complain, y/n. They barely put up with you, you aren't going to find anyone other than me that will." She reached forward again, trying to hold onto your arm, and there wasn't any room behind you to back up. Her words felt like a slap to the face.

"Don't touch me," you said again, voice much weaker this time. You couldn't believe what she was saying; it was like she was a completely different person suddenly, yet she still knew you, and knew exactly what to say to hurt you.

"No, you're gonna hear what I have to say," she said, clearly frustrated with you standing up for yourself. Her hand closed around your wrist, and you prepared to pull away, to run, when another voice shouted out from not too far away.

"Get your hands off her," Mapi growled, coming from seemingly nowhere to shove your ex away from you. Her and Alexia stood, shoulder to shoulder, not unlike how they had earlier, glaring at the girl in front of them.

You jumped as a pair of arms wrapped around you, settling when you Ingrid stepped in front of you, bringing you in close to her chest. You clung to her, not really sure why you were so afraid. You knew your ex wouldn't have hurt you, but she really scared you when she'd tried to grab you, and you wanted nothing more than to be as far away from her as possible.

"You do not ever touch her again, understand? Or you will not enjoy what happens to you." Alexia warned, her voice angrier and more threatening than you'd ever heard it.

"Are you okay?" Ingrid asked, drawing your attention away from Alexia. You nodded shakily, gripping tightly onto Ingrid's sweater. She was blocking you from really seeing what was going on, positioned directly between you and your ex. You could still hear her though.

"Whatever," she scoffed. "She's not worth the trouble." Mapi made an angry noise, and Alexia started forward, but Ingrid's voice brought their focus back to you.

"She's not worth it. Let's get pequeña inside." The Norwegian said, shooting both girls a meaningful look. They watched your ex walk away, as you unlocked the front door, and headed towards the elevator. No one spoke as you stepped in, taking it up to your floor. They filed out of the doors after you, still silent, following you to your door.

"You don't have to stay." You said quietly, fiddling with the lock.

"We're staying." Alexia responded firmly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Her and Mapi were still practically radiating anger as they entered your apartment. Ingrid was angry to, you could tell, but she hid it better, focusing instead on getting you a glass of water. She handed it to you, as her and Alexia took seats in your living room. Mapi remained standing, whole body still tense. You sat, in the corner of the couch, bringing your knees up to your chest. Your teammates hated how small you were making yourself, how shaken you seemed.

"Are you okay pequeña?" Alexia asked after a minute, scooting closer to you on the couch.

"Fine." You said. You were fine. She wouldn't have hurt you, you knew that. Everything she said, though, did hurt. It felt like she'd picked out your biggest insecurities, and told you that they were true. You'd been vulnerable with her, more than you'd ever been with anyone else, and she'd used it against you the second she could. You weren't overly eager to share anything else, not right now. This wouldn't fly with your teammates, though, that much you knew. They'd come to apologize, probably, but they wouldn't leave until they were sure, absolutely sure, that you were okay. One word answers weren't going to convince them. "I'm fine, really. She startled me, that's all."

They didn't look convinced. You supposed that was fair; they'd need more than that.

"Seriously, I'm alright. I dodged a bullet, clearly."

"What she said..." Alexia started, but you stopped her, shaking your head.

"I really don't want to talk about it."

"Too bad." Alexia said.

"Ale," Ingrid said, shifting uncomfortably. The blonde ignored her.

"She is completely wrong, pequeña. We don't put up with you, y/n. We love you. We always want to hear what's going on with you, and what you have to say. You know that, don't you?"

You shrugged, really wishing they hadn't heard that part of the conversation.

"Can you tell us what happened with her?" Mapi said softly, finally taking a seat in the chair next to Ingrid. You hesitated, and it becomes very clear to them that you've internalized what they heard your ex say to you. "We want to hear, we want to help."

"I didn't mean what I said before, y/n. That because we warned you about her, we wouldn't be there if things went wrong. You could ignore every piece of advice I ever give you, and I'd still want to be there for you. Every time." Alexia cut in, resting a hand on your knee. You didn't shift away from her this time, which she took to be a good sign.

With a sigh, not meeting any of their eyes, you told them everything. Everything she'd said on the phone about you, the things that made your cheeks burn with humiliation, your stomach twist with anxiety. The words felt like they burned on the way out of your mouth, the fear that your friends would agree with them almost choking you. Of course, they didn't.

You'd barely finished talking when Mapi abruptly rose from her seat, hands clenched in tight fists and walked without a word into the kitchen. You looked after her, confused, but Ingrid just shook her head.

"She's angry, she just needs a minute."

You nodded slowly, trying to wrap your head around the fact that Mapi was so angry on your behalf that she could barely contain her feelings.

You looked to Alexia, her hand still resting on your knee, finding her deep in thought. She cleared her throat before speaking.

"You are right, pequeña, you definitely dodged a bullet. I am so sorry she said those things about you. None of them are true, not even one. You are a wonderful, thoughtful, kind person. You deserve so much better than her."

You nod your head weakly at her reassurance. You weren't convinced, but it made you feel better, if only marginally. Mapi reentered the room again, sitting not in the chair she was in earlier, but squishing herself into Ingrid's chair. It was always interesting to watch them together; wherever one of the struggled, the other picked them up, always, without a second thought. Ingrid scooched over in the chair, face unchanged and still fixed on you, wrapping an arm around her girlfriend and squeezing her shoulder comfortingly. Mapi visibly relaxed once her body was in contact with Ingrid's, like all of her muscles had un-tensed, and some of the anger was pushed out of her body.

That was how a relationship was supposed to be, you thought. You'd never felt more like an idiot in your entire life, yet still, your insecurities swirled around your head, and you felt like you were drowning in them.

"So you don't... you don't think she was right?" You ask in a small voice, peeking at the girls' faces. They all look shattered at your question, like it was causing them physical pain that you thought it possible that they didn't actually care about you, that you believed even a word of what that awful woman had said to you.

"No. She is completely, entirely wrong." Alexia said, sounding like she was pleading with you to believe her.

"I just thought she really liked me." You whispered, and it appears Alexia couldn't hold herself back anymore, moving closer and smooshing you into her arms. You cried softly into Alexia's sweatshirt, never having been more grateful in your life for anything, than you were in that moment that she was there, that all of them were there. Your captain wrapped you up safely in her arms, and the strength with which she held you did even more to convince you that she meant what she said; she wanted, more than anything, to be there for you.

"Voy a matar a esa puta." You heard Mapi declare. Alexia hummed in agreement against you.

"You're not going to kill anyone, María." Ingrid dismissed. "Not by yourself, and you'll have to beat me to it."

You looked up in surprise, seeing a satisfied grin on Mapi's face, and a fiery look on Ingrid's. If you ever wondered how 2 seemingly different people made a relationship work, you had your answer. Deep down, Ingrid could be just as protective, just as reckless as Mapi was when it came to people she loved.

You tried to pull away from Alexia, having stopped crying, but her arms only tightened around you.

"No, you are staying right here, where no one can ever make you sad again." Alexia said decisively. You stifle a laugh, but give up your attempts to escape. Your words come out slightly muffled when you speak again.

"Can you guys not tell everyone about what happened? They can know we broke up, but the whole team will just freak out if they know what she said, and I don't want to deal with that."

Ingrid and Alexia easily agree to your request, but Mapi remains silent. Finally, you do pull away from Alexia to stare suspiciously at the defender. Ingrid is tilting away from her girlfriend, an exasperated expression on her face.

"María, what did you do?" You asked. Mapi smiled sheepishly.

"I may have asked Lucy and Mario if they were free later to pay your ex a visit, and I also may have told them what we overheard."

"Mapi," you groaned.

"I didn't know you didn't want people to know! Besides, it will be easier to scare her away from you with more people. Especially those two!" You weren't impressed, but Alexia evidently was, a contemplative expression on her face.

"No, Ale, please don't let this happen," You begged, switching your attention to the normally more cool-headed individual.

"You can't go threaten that girl, no matter how much she deserves it." Alexia said, and Mapi deflated, a frown finding it's way onto her face. You sigh, relieved. "At least not right away. We'll give it a few weeks, until she lets her guard down."

"Alexia!" You yelped, and she simply smiles softly at you.

"No one messes with our pequeña. Ever." Alexia shrugged, relatively unbothered by your slight annoyance.

It wasn't actual frustration, though. You knew they were just joking around. Well everyone except for Mapi; she was definitely being serious. Regardless, it felt good to know they had your back; like further confirmation that they didn't feel at all how your ex had said they did. You should have listened to them from the beginning, but more than that, you should have never listened to your ex, not when everything your teammates did today, and everyday, proved her to be wrong.

-----

#woso #woso imagine #woso x reader #barcelona femeni x reader

[gureumz]

come to me, make it right

rating: explicit

member: heeseung

notes: fem-bodied reader, backup dancer!reader, slight dom!heeseung, canon-compliant (?), dirty talk, semi-public sex, choking, unprotected sex, creampie, fingering, cum-eating, reader breaches professionalism lol

a/n: let's give heeseung a break and let him have his (your) cake 😔 so here i present the backup dancer fic! don't lie to me i know y'all wish it was you bc i do

"he's really something, isn't he?"

the question catches you off guard, your head turning abruptly as you give your friend a look. sion, dressed nearly identically to your all-black get-up, scoots closer to where you're seated on the floor, shoving her shoulder right up to yours.

"what are you on about?" you question before taking a big gulp from your water bottle.

"heeseung," she whispers, gesturing with her eyes to the tall figure standing across the practice room. he's typing on his phone, back turned to you.

"what about him?" you ask.

"he's good. like really good. one of the better idols i've worked with," sion explains, hooking an arm around yours.

"oh, please, you wish you could work with him personally," a different voice whispers from your right. serin, another one of your co-backup dancers, slides up to where you're sitting.

"too bad _______ got the gig first," serin adds, nudging you. you roll your eyes as the two of them collapse in giggles.

it's been two weeks since you were onboarded onto this project for enhypen's comeback. today was the dance practice filming and you can say that so far, it's been smooth sailing for the most part. the company was generous enough and the performance directors were easy to work with. the members themselves gave you no problems whatsoever, though you could only truly speak for one of them.

heeseung was nice enough, extremely polite, but also tremendously serious when it comes to performing. you've only known him for all of the two weeks, but you know better than to get in his way. you stepped on his foot once and you remember wanting to disintegrate right then, but to your surprise, heeseung merely smiled, reassuring you that it was fine.

it was rather easy to fall into rhythm with him. you don't know if it was your doing, or his, or both, but it's like the two of you spoke the same dance language. there were barely any words uttered, but understanding passed between you effortlessly.

he was kind of sweet too, always asking if you've eaten, if you need any more water, if his hand placement was too much. you appreciated it, a far cry from some other people you've worked with that barely spared you a glance. you'd be fine with the bare minimum of friendliness, if it was all out of courtesy that heeseung asked you all these questions. but the way he stares down at you attentively has your stomach churning. whether that's a good or bad thing, you've yet to decide.

your eyes draw towards heeseung as he pockets his phone, his gaze somehow finding yours in a split second. before you could look away, he smiles, waving rather cutely at you.

you wave back politely, quickly signing a 'have you eaten?' to him. heeseung shakes his head and points back at you as if to ask, 'how about you?'.

you reply no and heeseung pouts.

'eat soon, okay?' he mouths to you. you hold up the 'okay' sign and heeseung nods, satisfied.

sion and serin fall silent as the three of you watch heeseung gather with the rest of enhypen, all seven excusing themselves to go eat. heeseung locks eyes with you briefly one more time and smiles, eyebrows raised.

and then they were gone.

"what was that?" sion asks, grinning like a feline.

"he's being nice," you contest. "doesn't jungwon tell you to eat when you should?"

sion balks at that, clearing her throat. "he does. he's very considerate."

"but that," sion continues. "that look is different, ________, i'm telling you."

serin nods enthusiastically in agreement. "right? do the two of you talk outside of practice?"

"you guys are so unprofessional," you complain, though a smile creeps onto your face.

"and, no, we don't."

---

"did you see my kakao request?"

you peer up at heeseung, eyebrows knitting together. it takes you another few seconds to register what exactly he was asking.

"you added me on kakao?" you finally ask back.

his hands are in his pockets, a fluffy blanket wrapped tightly around his frame. the weather in poland is more than a little chilly this time of year, a struggle for you all as you drag yourselves through the music video filming.

heeseung chuckles, his eyes squinting down at you. "yeah, last night."

"sorry, i must have missed it," you reply sheepishly, pulling your own blanket tighter around your shoulders. "i have about a dozen requests at any given time."

"ooh, someone's in demand," heeseung teases, nudging you lightly. you laugh nervously, scanning the set around you.

the members and their respective dancers have gotten friendly over the course of the comeback preparations. nothing too chummy, but all of you are comfortable enough to strike up conversations with each other on and off schedule. it was nice, getting to know the guys of enhypen a little better.

but the way heeseung caught up to you in this dark, secluded part of the set where you were merely looking for cell service makes it look a little too suspicious.

'what do you want?' is what threatened to come out of your mouth. you often think you would rather be dead than be caught in a dating scandal with an idol. not that you're assuming anything, but you've seen this behavior before, and heeseung really is just a man at the end of the day, so who's to say that—

"um, is everything okay?" heeseung asks, waving a hand in front of your face. you blink, your surroundings coming back into view. you look up and are met with heeseung's grey-colored lenses. you stop a shiver from running down your spine at how hard he's staring down at you.

"yeah, sorry," you respond hurriedly, clearing your throat. "what i meant to say is, i have messages from people asking for dancers for a program or shoot or what-have-you, all those stuff."

heeseung nods before looking away, eyes scanning the staff as they arrange the set. before neither of you could say anything more, jake's head pops out from behind a stack of equipment boxes.

"hyung? oh, there you are," jake says with a start, noticing you at the last second.

"hi, _______!" he adds cheerily.

you smile warmly at him, slightly relieved that someone is there to interrupt.

jake turns back to heeseung. "jungwon says to drop by the hair and makeup tent for a bit."

heeseung nods at the younger, brushing past you to get to jake.

"see you in a bit," heeseung says, fingers lightly curling around your forearm. you tense up but nod in reply.

"see you," you return weakly.

you wait until the two of them are gone before sighing, stalking off to the other end of the set to where the dancers' tent is set up.

---

studio choom is one of your favorite parts of being a backup dancer. the staff was nice, the set was wide and airy, and the lighting was amazing. your excitement concerning the last part was evident in the way you couldn't take your eyes off your phone as you held it in front of your face.

"i look so good," you comment with a laugh, surveying yourself on the camera display. "even with the mask and all."

"right?" serin agrees from behind you, getting into frame with you. you quickly snap a couple photos.

the director barks out an order to get into blocking and you quickly hide your phone away, silently thanking in your head one of the other dancers for bringing in the large tote to hold all of your devices.

you walk under the bright multicolored lights onto the actual filming set, hovering over the general area of where you're supposed to be blocked. you wait for the members and other dancers to find their places, eyes downcast as you try to find your exact spot.

a hand brushes your arm and you look up to see heeseung smiling down at you.

"you look good," he mutters quietly before walking to center, getting on his hands and knees as he settles into his starting position.

serin passes in front of you, eyes expressive enough that you instantly get what she's saying despite half of her face being obscured by the mask.

'what was that?!' her eyes seemed to cry out.

you shake your head. 'i have no idea,' you respond as best as you can with your own confused gaze.

the director calls out another command and everything else is dropped as all of you fall into performance mode. autopilot takes over you, every take passing by quickly, much to your surprise.

an hour and a half later and on the last take of the chorus, you find yourself restless, stomach already grumbling. you pick at your long black gloves, wishing for this day to be over.

enhypen are in formation in front of the camera, with the dancers at the wings, ready to approach for the chorus. somehow, despite blending into the shadows of the set, heeseung finds you, tilting his head to the side in a sort of greeting.

you mirror his action and heeseung instantly smiles. you can't help the grin that breaks out behind your mask.

"last take, everyone!" the director calls out.

with a little more difficulty than you'd like to admit, you rip your gaze away from heeseung's, a tingling feeling settling in your stomach.

---

almost all thoughts of heeseung disappear from your mind as you get home later that day, too exhausted to pore over every interaction you have with your dance partner. you lay sprawled out on your bed, having just finished freshening up, eyes heavy as you feel drowsiness creep into your consciousness.

the keyword is almost.

you hear a notification ping from your phone and your sleepiness is immediately replaced with pure adrenaline. your read the notification over and over again just to make sure you weren't imagining it.

이희승 (lee heeseung): hi

you sit up, your heart pounding. leaning against your headboard, you watch as another message comes in.

이희승: you up?

you snicker, opening your kakaotalk app. heeseung's name is at the top of the chat room, easily indicating just who you're talking to. you quickly type a reply.

너 (you): ooh he finally messaged ㅋㅋ what an opening tho

you chew on your lower lip as you send the message, the 'read' sign immediately appearing. you watch as heeseung types out his reply.

이희승: lol sorry did that come off too creepy?

너: not at all. why the sudden message tho? was my performance that bad that it has you staying up at night?

이희승: oh no nothing of that sort. just wanted to say thank you for your hard work today

you blink, cheeks growing warm. he messaged you at ass-o'-clock to thank you?

너: thanks! you did super well today too

이희승: don't i always? (pouting face)

it's at this moment that you realize, without a shadow of a doubt, that lee heeseung, a member of a globally renowned k-pop idol group, is flirting with you.

you lock your phone, laying back down on your pillow, contemplating on what to do.

you could always flirt back, then act as if nothing happened the next time you see him. see how far the two of you can take it. you might end up sneaking around green rooms and closets, but, hey, half of the fun is the thrill of getting caught. or you could shut it down now, rejecting him gently because what kind of unprofessional loser would fold at the slightest display of romantic interest from an idol?

you sigh.

you would.

you're a (slightly) unprofessional loser that would fold at the slightest display of romantic interest from an idol.

you open up your phone, fingers moving at lightning speed.

너: my bad. you always do well (wink)

a whole minute passes by, heeseung typing then stopping then starting up again, before he stops once more for a few seconds. you feel anxiety seeping out of every pore on your body.

이희승: good girl ㅋㅋ that's what i like to hear

you gape at your phone, a strange tingle spreading all over you.

you take a moment to scream into your pillow.

---

you're waiting for it to boil over. to culminate into something. for shit to hit the fan, as you would inelegantly put it.

you left heeseung on read last night, at a total loss for words at his reply. he doesn't press further, either. in your mind, he's probably thinking one of two things: 1) that he deeply offended you, or 2) that he's achieved the desired effect.

you don't have to think too hard about which one of those is true.

you enter the assigned green room to you and the other dancers, poking your head in first, eyes landing on your coworkers lounging about.

"oh, _______!" sion calls out excitedly. the rest of them turn their heads to you, erupting into similar squeals.

"close the door!" serin orders. too stunned to protest, you do as you're told, leaning against the wall as all of your friends talk over each other.

"heeseung was looking for you," sion's voice rises above the rest and your eyes unconsciously widen, your heart rate picking up.

"yeah, he came here himself and asked where you were," serin adds, nodding.

"what's going on with you two?" another dancer, yeeun, asks in a singsong voice.

"n-nothing's going on," you say with a laugh, waving them off nonchalantly.

"like we'll believe that," sion retorts. "we'll keep it a secret, promise!"

the rest of them agree, sounding like a chorus of schoolchildren hearing about their teacher's boyfriend. you sigh, setting your things down on the floor.

"we're messaging on kakao, that's all," you admit, shrugging.

"sexting already?" serin chides with a laugh. you give her a look as the room erupts in laughter.

"you guys are hopeless," you say with a shake of your head, but you can't help but laugh along.

"we're not sexting. not...yet," you add. there's a pause before the laughter grows louder, all of them throwing jokes around about being safe and dating scandals.

"luck you," yeeun says with a sigh. "it's taking jake forever to make a move."

the whole room shifts its attention to her and you breathe a quiet sigh of relief. your phone vibrates and you feel your whole body grow hot as you read your screen.

이희승: come out for a second

before anyone can stop you, you quickly slip out of the green room, looking down in both directions of the hallway. to your right, you see heeseung standing outside enhypen's own waiting room, eyes staring at you intently.

with a nervous glance back behind you, you make your way to him. the hallway seems empty at this time, with most artists and staff in their respective rooms, the early prerecording hour hanging heavily over everyone.

"hi," heeseung says with a grin the moment you're near enough to hear him.

"hi," you respond, fidgeting with your hands. you scrape over your knuckles with your nails, waiting for heeseung to continue.

"about last night, i'm sorry if i went too far," heeseung begins, voice dropping, eyes looking around nervously.

oh.

so he's thinking option number 1.

"oh no, not at all," you reassure him. "i appreciate the gesture. i know you were only trying to be friendly."

heeseung raises his eyebrows as you say this. he purses his lips before speaking.

"friendly isn't the right word, exactly...," heeseung says, trailing off. he bites down on his lip, eyes momentarily flitting up and down over your figure.

it's your turn to be surprised.

"i see," you reply.

there's a long stretch of silence after this, both of you avoiding each other's eyes. an awkward laugh escapes you and heeseung follows, scratching at the back of his head.

you finally look up to meet his eyes, his pupils blown wide as he seems to consider his next words.

"i mean, i'm down if you are," heeseung says, stepping closer. "i won't hold it against you if you aren't, though."

you don't need to be told what his words meant. with the way he's staring at you right now, eyes unmoving but filled with something you can only describe as desire, you know full well what heeseung is implying.

"i am," you say after a moment. you're still fidgeting, hands clasped together in front of you. heeseung notices, his own hand coming up to lay on yours, stilling your movements. his fingers curl around your wrist.

"are we waiting after the recording or...?" you ask, letting heeseung pry your hands apart. he grips you firmly and you feel yourself practically igniting from his touch.

"i could use a pick-me-up right now" heeseung throws out casually, as if merely suggesting that the two of you get coffee. he jerks his head towards the door right next to their waiting room.

"this one's empty," heeseung informs. "i checked."

you can't help but grin up at him. he licks his lips as if he's looking down at his next meal, which you know, isn't that far from the truth.

"and no surveillance cameras, either," heeseung says, leaning down to whisper next to your ear.

without replying, you walk backward in the direction of the empty waiting room. heeseung follows, still gripping your arm, letting you pull him along. you never break eye contact, even as you reach behind you to turn the knob, pushing the door open.

only now do you avert your eyes away from him, stepping into the dimly lit room, a single weak lightbulb turned on in the farthest corner. with heeseung right behind you, you hear the door close, and without missing a beat, heeseung tugs you back, hands grabbing you by the waist.

he shoves you against the door, his face impossibly close to yours, your breaths mingling as you practically pant in anticipation. heeseung reaches down, locking the door, the click of the mechanism deafening in the silence.

"you can still say no," heeseung whispers.

"why would i do that?" you say before leaning forward to kiss him.

heeseung sighs against your mouth, his hand holding one side of your face to keep you steady. you're both still in your casual clothes, and you thank the heavens for this because your hands slip easily underneath his oversized hoodie. your palms smooth over his toned stomach and up his chest where you lightly rake your nails back downward.

you gasp when you feel heeseung roughly grab one of your boobs through your shirt at the same time he pushes a knee between your legs. you belatedly realize that it's today of all days that you've decided to wear a miniskirt.

"making my job easier," heeseung teases, as if able to read your thoughts. he smirks at you, planting a brief kiss on your lips as he angles you better on his thigh.

"your job...," you say in between labored breaths. you feel yourself growing wetter as you grind down on the taut muscle. "...is to fuck me before anyone notices we're gone."

heeseung grunts, pulling his leg away, ignoring the way you whine at the loss of friction. he pulls your skirt up roughly, letting it bunch around your waist. you gasp as you hear the sound of ripping fabric.

"heeseung!" you say in disbelief as he pockets your now torn-up lace panties. he merely chuckles, leaning in to kiss down from below your ear to your conveniently exposed chest, a feat made possible by your skimpy tank top.

"turn around, baby," heeseung whispers, planting another kiss, but this time, on your nose.

you stare at him for a moment, eyes bleary. are you really about to do this?

"please?" heeseung adds, eyes wide and round as he utters this one word so sweetly.

with weak knees, you do as you're told, letting heeseung press his chest flush against your back. you mewl when you feel his rough fingers slip between your slick folds, rubbing up then down, circling around the relative area of your clit. he finds it a second later, pressing down and working it expertly.

"fuck," you say, voice trembling. you let out a startled noise as you feel heeseung press a large hand over your mouth.

"no one can see us here but that doesn't mean they can't hear us," heeseung says against the shell of your ear.

"so i need you to be quiet for me, baby, okay?"

melting at these words, you could do nothing more but nod. heeseung kisses the back of your head tenderly. you hear him tugging his sweatpants down, letting it pool around his ankles.

you whimper when you feel a hard poke on one of your asscheeks, anticipation bubbling in you. you wriggle around, spreading your legs slightly apart and sticking your hips out.

"good girl," heeseung praises you, pressing his tip right against your hole. "doesn't need me to tell her what to do."

heeseung keeps his hand pressed firmly on your mouth, ensuring to muffle any sound that escapes you. and it's a good thing, too, because you're tempted to sob when you feel him push in, filling you in one swift motion.

"god," heeseung grunts as he bottoms out. "spent so long imagining what it would feel like to fuck you like this."

heeseung lets go of your face in favor of bracing himself against the door. you gasp out, the feeling of him quickly overwhelming you. and to think he hasn't even moved, yet.

"tried so hard not to let my hands wander but, fuck, you make it so difficult," heeseung says directly into your ear. he gives his first thrust and you decide to take on the responsibility of covering your own mouth because the stretch from his cock threatens a scream out of you.

"those goddamn stylists putting you girls in those tight dresses," heeseung continues. "and they expect us to keep our eyes and hands still?"

your eyes roll back at the filthy admission. heeseung grips you harshly by the waist and the whole world falls away from view when you feel him hammer in and out of you.

it's unknown to you how you could keep yourself upright, your knees feeling as if they could give out any moment. heeseung fucks into you roughly, your words about finishing quickly before your absence raises any questions seemingly spurring him on.

"so good, so fucking good," heeseung blabbers on, surely lost in his own pleasure. you lean back against his large frame for support and heeseung is quick to wrap a hand around your throat.

"yes!" you gasp out, blood rushing loudly in your ears as you feel heeseung squeeze down around your neck.

you wonder what you must look like right now. if anyone on the off chance would walk in on you and see your clothes and hair disheveled, your already short skirt pushed up even further, back arched in pleasure as heeseung fucks into your throbbing, drenched pussy. as if reading your mind again, heeseung prods against your mouth with two fingers, slipping them inside, leaving you no choice but to suckle on the salty skin.

at this moment, the two of you are possibly the very image of sin.

"squeezing me so tight, babe," heeseung breathes out against your neck. you gasp when you feel his teeth sink into the skin of your shoulder, soft moans escaping his own lips.

heeseung pulls his fingers out of your mouth and drool drips down your chin. he grabs at your neck once again, tighter this time, his other arm wrapping around your midsection as he picks up the pace.

"fuck, i'm getting close," heeseung practically growls, maneuvering the two of you away from the door.

"help me out, baby," heeseung pleads in your ears. "tell me how good you're feeling."

you finally let out the sob that's been fighting its way out of you.

"h-heeseung you feel so g-good," you comply, voice breaking from heeseung's vice grip around your neck.

"want you to ruin me like this every day. need you to f-fuck me in front of the practice room mirror," you continue, trying to find the right words despite the growing haziness in your head.

heeseung lets out a noise. "yeah? wanna watch yourself get split open like this? every day, huh?"

you nod frantically. "yes, yes, yes! d-didn't know i needed you this bad."

heeseung grows quiet as he holds you against him, hips snapping up erratically. you're sure that you've made a mess on the floor by now, seeing as you're absolutely drenched. the thought pushes you closer to your own release.

"c-cum for me please," you implore, feeling yourself shake at the thought of your impending orgasm.

"yeah, angel, gonna cum for you. g-gonna cum in this tight, gorgeous pussy. so good for me, letting me fuck them in s-some dark room right next door to m-my manager and members and all the staff, fuck—!"

heeseung abruptly stills, hand falling away from your neck. you take in a gulp of air, your fingers frantically reaching down to rub at your clit. you feel heeseung twitch and spill himself inside of you and you squeeze your eyes shut, coaxing yourself closer to euphoria.

finally, the floodgates open and your whole body seizes up from your orgasm. heeseung's face is buried in your neck and you can vaguely register him encouraging you through it.

you relax after a few seconds, leaning hard against heeseung as you feel your body nearly give out. heeseung pulls out but quickly replaces his cock with two of his fingers. you whine weakly, head lolling back against heeseung's shoulder.

"i got you," heeseung coos, working his fingers in and out of you at a languid pace. you twitch in oversensitivity, complaining how it's too much.

heeseung retracts his fingers and you catch him licking them clean just as you turn to face him. your eyes have adjusted in the dim lighting, heeseung's features coming into focus.

"you just tasted yourself," you say in half surprise and half bewilderment.

heeseung breathes out a laugh, letting his fingers out of his mouth with a soft pop.

"had to keep it in somehow," heeseung says nonchalantly. "seeing as i, ah, compromised your underwear."

you roll your eyes, giggling. "i think you more than compromised my underwear. you tore it in half, heeseung."

heeseung shrugs, donning an unapologetic expression. you swat at his chest playfully but you stop mid-laugh when you feel something drip out of you.

"oh god, fuck—," you start to complain, but before you could get another word out, heeseung drops to his knees, doe eyes peering up at you.

heeseung prods your legs apart, sticking his tongue out just in time to catch his own cum dribbling out of you.

"i'll clean you up, baby," heeseung says, mouth already pressing against your leaking hole.

all you can do is grab onto his shoulder, eyes rolling back as you feel your clit twitch with newfound arousal.

#enhypen smut #enhypen scenarios #heeseung smut #heeseung scenarios #w: heeseung

[yandere-daze]

Thank you everyone for the big support on the RE2 Leon post! I was honestly blown away by all the nice comments I got 🥺💕

And now I'm back for more ^^

Hope you enjoy!

gn reader

tw yandere, obsession, over-protectiveness, possessiveness, heavily implied murder, implied stalking, kidnapping, jealousy

General Yandere! RE4 Leon headcanons

Above all else, Yandere! RE4 Leon is very protective of you, the dearest person in his life. To a very unhealthy degree.

He has always been protective but a lot has changed since his first day as a rookie. Leon has seen a lot, he knows how truly horrifying and cruel the world can be. He knows what dangers lurk in the shadows, just waiting for an opportunity to strike and snatch away his beloved.

He doesn't want you to go through what he has. He wants you to be safe at all costs. He simply can't risk losing you, you're everything to him. You're what keeps him grounded, the one beacon of light in the darkness that threatens to consume him every day.

His many missions have broken him, Leon is not the same person he used to be and that too reflects in subtle changes in his yandere behaviour.

He remains very protective, insanely so, but it´s not quite in the same way as RE2 Leon was. He has become pretty jaded and that also translates to him being more merciless when it comes to shooting down anyone that could be perceived as a threat.

There´s no more slight hesitation before going through with killing someone and pulling the trigger, no deliberation, he won´t leave even a sliver of a chance of something hurting you and that extends to zombies, cultists, or rude strangers alike.

He still likes showing off in front of you, proving to you how capable and reliable he is, but he would rather avoid having you witness him getting rid of the latter ones.

He´s sure you won´t object to him getting rid of horrifying eldritch horrors but he fears your naivete won´t allow you to see the other dangers lurking right around the corner. People everywhere that are secretly out to hurt you. People that have bad intentions. People that try to get between the two of you.

He certainly won´t forgive that friend of yours that told you how "scary" Leon´s glare was whenever he looked at someone that wasn´t you. And isn´t it weird that he´s somehow always there whenever you´re in trouble? And they could have sworn they saw him standing outside your window back when you had your sleepover at your house...

Of course Leon couldn´t let this continue any longer. What if you started listening to them and tried to keep your distance? Leon couldn´t bear that. How is he supposed to make sure you´re safe if you won´t let him?

He knows he needs to do something about this so-called friend of yours. Maybe at first he will start "small" and simply start incriminating them for crimes they didn´t commit. It´s truly scary how little you know about your friends, right? Who would have thought that they would turn out to be a criminal?

Leon hopes that will be enough to make them stay away but if they´re particularly persistent... Well, he knows just how to deal with obstacles that are in his way. His position as a special agent gives him plenty of opportunities to make that person simply disappear from all records after mysteriously vanishing.

But don´t worry, Leon will be right by your side, holding you tight and mourning the loss of your friend right with you. It´s really so terrible what happened to them but at least you have him! And he won´t ever leave you.

Now of course, if you yourself were acting difficult, continuously getting yourself into danger, ignoring all of his advice ( don´t leave your house without him. always keep him updated on what you´re currently doing. never go on a date with a stranger..) or avoiding him in any way, Leon would feel forced to take some drastic measures to ensure that you´ll always remain safe and his alone.

While RE2 Leon would not have gone so far as to kidnap you, RE4 Leon absolutely would. It would not be his first choice but in this case, he feels like there is no other way. He would rather keep you locked up for the rest of your life than lose you. He just cannot bear ever having to live without you, now that he has found you.

You´re the only good thing in his life and he´ll be damned if he´ll let anything happen to you.

Of course he understands why you´re mad at him afterwards and it breaks his heart to see you upset with him, but he´ll suffer through it all in the hopes that you´ll one day understand why he had to do what he did.

He´s sure you will come around to him one day and then you´ll finally live the happy life he you both always wanted. In the meantime, he´ll treat you with gentle care ( well, as gentle as Leon can be. His displays of affection are still pretty awkward and stilted even though he tries very hard) and makes sure all your needs are met.

He´ll also let you get away with many things like screaming at him, ignoring him or backing away from his touch, as long as you don´t try to escape him. You may hate him at the moment, but at least nothing can get in here and hurt you while he´s constantly monitoring you.

Leon hopes that one day you´ll be able to move on from this and become a normal couple, but he doesn´t really mind having you all to himself with no prying eyes right now. He´s very possessive too and he´d just hate having to get rid of another stranger that looked at you a second too long for his tastes.

#leon s kennedy #yandere leon kennedy x reader #resident evil #leon kennedy x reader #yandere resident evil x reader #yandere resident evil #yandere leon kennedy #resident evil 4 #resident evil 4 remake #yandere x reader #cw yandere #yandere #male yandere #gn reader #cw obsession #cw possessiveness #cw stalking #cw murder #cw kidnapping #cw jealousy

[otdiaftg]

The King's Men - Chapter Fifteen (17)

Day: Thursday, March 21st / 22nd* Time: 2:08 PM EST

"Seven," Neil echoes stupidly. Andrew hadn't moved in with the Spears until he was twelve. Before Drake turned Andrew's life into a living hell Andrew had gone through twelve other houses, and Andrew had told Neil just the other week that none of them had been good. Neil hadn't asked how bad they'd been; he'd assumed Drake was the worst by far. Neil regrets asking, but it is too late to take it back. "You—" Neil says, but words fail him. He looks for the lie in Andrew's calm stare and comes up empty. Andrew had nearly killed four men for assaulting Nicky and would have broken Allison's neck for hitting Aaron, but when it comes to crimes against his own person Andrew couldn't care less. He holds his life in less regard than he does anything else. Neil hates that with a ferocity that is nauseating. "After everything they did to you, how can you stand me?" Neil asks. He is unwilling to put the details into words with so many people around. He doubts anyone is paying attention to them, but he isn't going to risk it. He gestures between them, knowing Andrew will understand. "How is this okay?" "It isn't a 'this'," Andrew says. "That's not what I'm asking. You know it isn't. Andrew, wait," he insists, because Andrew is turning away like he can't hear Neil anymore. Neil reaches for him, unwilling to let him leave without a real answer. "No," Andrew says.

Art used with permission by Emry-stars-art. Thank you @emry-stars-art!

*Due to the Leap Year, I have opted to highlight the day rather than the date to keep the events in occurrence to the 2007 year. I will continue to mark both days accordingly.

#aftg #all for the game #neil josten #tkm #the kings men #the foxhole court #andrew minyard #palmetto state university #psu foxes #andreil #on this day in aftg #otdiaftg #palmetto state foxes #otdi all for the game #nora sakavic #the foxes #on this day in all for the game #kevin day #nicky hemmick #aaron minyard #coach wymack #betsy dobson #abby winfield #matt boyd #dan wilds #renee walker #allison reynolds #artists #emry-stars-art

[noroi1000]

can i order something satosugu with a girlfriend who is very air-headed and incredibly strong, as if she is a special grade sorceress, but despite her strength, she is very affectionate with her boyfriends

Strength is not everything

SatoSugu x reader

Summary: You are not strong without them. Despite being a special grade sorcerer. You are weak without them. Without them, your strength is meaningless.

"What are you doing there?"

You looked at your boyfriends who were standing in the bedroom doorway staring at you.

"You were supposed to leave... Did something happen?" Suguru asked you, watching your face.

You were going abroad.

Because according to the superiors, it doesn't make sense that three special grade sorcerers are in Japan, in the same place in Tokyo.

While Okkotsu and Tsukumo were traveling around the world, you were in Japan. And sometimes you just went on missions abroad. But then you went home.

However, you were to leave for Europe forever. To take over missions there. So that there are not so many powerful sorcerers in Japan.

You were supposed to fly there today.

They took you on the last stationary date before you left.

Because once you leave, you'll never live with them again. The only contact you will have with them is the Internet.

Nothing more...

That's why you were sad...

You were a very confident person. Your superiors didn't like you because you were too brazen with your strength.

You thought they wanted to get rid of you.

And it hurt you that they hate you so much that they want you to leave the country.

Once you're gone, the only time you'll be able to meet them live is when you're in Europe, and so are they.

However, neither they nor you can take a long leave of absence. Because they can't do it without you...

That's why your life was bad in that sense.

You didn't have much free time. The Missions and Teaching of Students...

If you were to leave, you'd lose a part of you...

You couldn't smile without them.

You're really attached to them... You can't live without them.

Would you just go away and leave them?

You don't want to live a life where you have them far away from you.

It would be the most painful time for you and them.

You've been with them all day. All night. To give them one last evening with you.

Without them, it doesn't matter how strong you are...

You cried in the night knowing it was the last time you could cuddle with them for so long.

You cried when you didn't want to let them go at the airport.

You cried when you knew what you had with them would never happen again. Because you'll have to have a different life.

But how were you supposed to give up loving them? How could you stop wanting to live without them? How

How?

You couldn't. You're too used to their presence.

You're too used to them being there all the time.

You loved them too much.

You couldn't live without them in another country. On another continent. It pained you to know that you would be alone in your new home. And they won't come home from work to lie down next to you.

You will never live in Japan again. You will never live the way you used to live.

Since your home will be in another country...

Maybe you were brazen with your strength... But when it came to them, you were so weak with them...

They were stronger than you. It is obvious. But you were still strong.

And their presence made you even stronger...

How could you just give up your happiness because others told you to...?

Would you rather have them than this strength...

You preferred to have their love forever ... And not to sit in another country and see them only via the Internet.

You want skin to skin contact. With them. You don't want to sleep alone in bed.

You want to sleep in your big bed where the three of you sleep.

Because of this bond with them. Because of this attachment. You wouldn't be able to live normally without them.

Before you got on the plane, you ran out of there.

You escaped and returned home on your own.

So that later when they come home they see you on your bed with tears on your cheeks.

You pulled them both to you, not caring that they both fell on top of you, crushing you on the bed.

You cried holding their bodies.

"Baby-." Satoru started. But before he could finish, you started sobbing the words into their bodies.

"I do not want! I do not want to leave! I want to stay with you!" you moaned.

You were so strong. But they're so weak. So weak without them.

You couldn't be strong when you were taken from them.

You could never be powerful when you were separated from them.

It was such a cruel and horrible feeling... But it was real.

Every strong man has his weakness.

They are your weakness.

Because without them you can't be strong...

"You don't have to leave if you don't want to..." said the White Haired Man as they climbed off of you, laying on either side of you.

They wiped your tears.

"You never have to leave us. You know very well that we love you."

You smiled slightly at their words.

So nice and comforting.

You are so strong. But without them you can't use your strength.

You've become too attached to them to leave now. Nothing would be the same without them.

That's why you want to stay forever with the two men you love so much.

"If I was without you, my strength doesn't matter."

#gojo satoru #jjk x you #gojo x y/n #gojo x reader #jujustu kaisen #jjk x reader #gojo #geto suguru #jjk #geto x reader x gojo #geto x gojo #geto x you #geto x reader #geto x y/n #satosugu x reader #satosugu angst

[residentfromnowhere]

| NAVIS IMAGINES: KNY EDITION |

TouchDeprived!SanemiShinaguzawaXReader

TW: Masturbating, bdsm?, touch kink, suggestive content

TouchDeprived!Sanemi will never and I mean never let you find out that he craves you so badly it hurts.

That every time you touch him whether it’s during training or just in idle chit chat that he wants your hands, hips, lips, every part of you to make contact with him. When’s the last time someone has touched or had intimacy with this man? Months? YEARS? I mean with being an hashira and all it’s hard to get laid but add his rough exterior and rude ass attitude, it’s hard to get laid no matter how hot he is.

It wasn’t like this at first. No, his first impressions was an absolute shit show seeing as that when you first met him, you were trying to release your male friend from a chokehold and Sanemi was the one choking him. From what you were told, your friend was bumped by Sanemi and well, the rest is history. So imagine finding out that the same man who almost killed your friend was going to be your sensei.

Pissed? An understatement.

First couple of months where brutal and extremely uncomfortable. You both argued a lot and rarely ever saw eye to eye but you couldn’t lie, his training definitely made you stronger. He also couldn’t discredit you due to how quickly and adaptive you were to the various trials he put you through. Though your personalities didn’t exactly click at first, the respect was there and eventually, you both became amicable. Which now leads to today where you’re now just becoming comfortable and casual with him and he’s having these feelings.

That in training when you’re sparring with him and he purposely allows you to pin him down, making you tower over him that it gives him the hardest boner he has ever felt. Anytime you accidentally rub or bump against him and shyly apologize you make his body tense up. Not because he’s angry but because he’s fighting for dear life attempting to keep the beast in his pants tamed.

And yes, it’s big.

Like the time where you had to sit on his lap during a meeting due to no other spots being available and even though he looked composed he was internally screaming in the inside and praying to whatever god could hear him that you would notice/feel his cock desperately trying to rub against you. Is it really that bad?

Yes, it’s bad. It’s really bad.

Like telling you to go ahead and stretch without him as he pretends to go to the shed to get “tools” when really he’s jacking off to you doing multiple positions and holding back grunts as you start to sweat from doing them. Like before you even notice because it takes you at least twenty minutes to stretch and warm up so you don’t even notice how long he’s gone and he knows this.

And let’s not forget to mention that you are the ONLY person this happens too. No other person makes him feel this way and judging by how far and long it took to finally be on decent terms with you, he wasn’t going to let this ever come to life. He would rather have blue balls for the rest of eternity before ever telling you.

That’s a lie tbh. He would prefer his balls deep inside you but again, you will never know that and he’s planning on keeping it that way.

No matter how juicy your thighs look when he’s helping you with your routine morning stretches to how rough you are during lessons with him, choking, slamming, pushing, or even shoving him he will refrain from grabbing you and fucking the shit out of you. If this means cutting your training short just to keep his sanity, He will.

He will most definitely regret it though

And when I say he shuts down the idea of more training with you for said sanity so fast you couldn’t even finish your sentence? I mean it was FAST. Don’t take offense though, it’s for your own safety. You like walking, right? Because if you do, asking for such things can and will take that ability away so…yeah.

#nowhere’s library 📚 #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #kny x reader #sanemi headcanons #kimetsu no yaiba sanemi #shinazugawa sanemi #sanemi smut #demon slayer sanemi #kny smut #sanemi shinaguzawa #sanemi x reader #kny sanemi #sanemi shinazugawa #sanemi x you #sanemi x y/n #kimetsu sanemi #Sanemi x femal reader #Sanemi male reader #male reader #female reader

[mistyresolve]

| Recovery (Hostage Epilogue) - Simon”Ghost” Riley x Reader

Word count - 1.9K 

Summary - It’s been a month since the incident, and both y/n and Simon are helping each other through it the best they can. After some encouragement, Simons decided to talk with Price about how he’s been feeling and Price says something that changes his perspective.  

Warnings/Tags - Slight depictions of PTSD/Depersonalization, Mentions of a hostage situation   

A/N - Ask and you shall receive 

Hostage 

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Price wasn’t harsh on Simon during their meeting, he had been understanding and empathetic. He understood the relationship between the two of you, understood that Simon didn’t just care for you, he lived for you. And you live for him. It was a symbiotic relationship in the way you too supported each other. Against Price's own beliefs, he still needed to uphold the rules and regulations and was forced by HR to give Simon a suspension. Price was able to pull strings and shorten it from two months to just one. Simon didn’t argue or try for an appeal because both of them were mindful that he needed the time off.  If only so he could spend time with you. Time he could also spend to reflect, and he himself could recover. He was far from cavalier about what he’d done, he knew and internalized it all. 

All that he could remember, and all he couldn’t remember but read from the reports that followed. 

In the past month, little bits and pieces of that night came back to him. Sometimes it was something mundane, like when he was in the kitchen and saw the glint of a knife while you cooked. Other times they came back to him while he was in the shower and he let his mind wander. Some nights he was laying awake beside you and when you’d begin to thrash and scream from your own trauma, he’d involuntarily imagine what you must have gone through before he got to the warehouse. 

He asked once, just once, what happened. You down right refused to tell him. You also didn’t tell him it was mostly to protect him. Work had given you a 6-month leave, with compensation and provided resources. You were receiving weekly counselling so it wasn’t like you were trying to deal with it all on your own. You just didn’t want to put any more pressure and guilt on him. Which he would feel. Even if he wasn’t deserving of it. 

There was something so heartbreaking in the way Simon held the weight of the world on his shoulders. It was part of why he’d become rather recluse in the last month. Not physically, he never wanted to leave your side, but it was like he was always someplace else in his head. He’d seemed to fold in on himself; it was like he was a blackhole sucking everything in. The good and the bad. 

You confided in him, let him know if it was a good day or a bad day. You let him hold you and comfort you. It was therapeutic for the both of you. He said it allowed him to “make up for his fuck-up”. It didn’t matter how many times you told him he played no part in the capture. In the torture. And the sleepless nights that followed. You tried reminding him that he saved you. None of that mattered though. He was still…troubled.  

You’d asked him to try and find someone to talk to once you realized you weren’t the right person for it. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust you with his crisis or that you didn’t want to, it was that you couldn’t be the subject and the listener in this situation. He’d confided in you for everything else. Just not this. Not yet anyway. 

He’d agreed but said he wasn’t going to any therapist. Instead, he’d turned to John Soap and his captain. He was thankful you pushed him to talk to someone, anyone, because it helped to air out some of his worries and stresses. 

Price had been a good listener, an excellent one. Simon had always found Price’s demeanour calming, and might even consider him an older brother. He’d allowed Simon to say everything without fear of backlash or recoil. He offered him solutions and assuage.        

“Simon,” Price leaned back in his chair, “We get our hands dirty to help keep this world a safe place. And they are your world. It would only make that you’d do the same for them.” 

The men he’d killed weren’t innocent, he knew that, but it still bothered him. It bothered him that he could do something like that. Lose himself like that. Turn animalistic like that. He didn’t regret it because he’d do it again, but it frightened him. It was almost as if he wasn’t sure if he could come back from this one. A part of him wasn’t even sure if it was him, like he couldn’t recognize the recollections.    

And again the guilt of letting it happen. He felt that being in a relationship with you encouraged them to go after you. He wasn’t even sure if they even knew that you were together. It was highly unlikely they did. He kept it all under tight wraps. Even the 141 wasn’t aware, they had their speculations and all but they were never too sure. Price knew but never mentioned it to anyone. 

It was irrelevant now. They knew now. 

“I’d be more concerned if you weren’t upset,” Price continued, his eyes blazing with nothing but honesty, “You’re not a machine. And you’re not a ghost.”

Simon flinched back at that. Price was right, he wasn’t some boogeyman or monster. It was something he’d forgotten. He’d been living his legend for so long that he’d neglected the reality that he was still human. He was capable of feelings and mistakes. 

Something had changed when he met and got involved with you. You brought him back to humanity without either of you realizing it. Before he was dead set on pushing everything down, bottling it all up for later dates that were never to come. 

When he returned home after his visit with Price he was especially observant of you. The way your hair smells after a shower, and how the familiar scent calmed him. The way your voice seemed to enrapture him. The way your body melted against him, and you hummed into his warmth. 

It was as if he was relearning you. 

“You’re awfully quiet today,” you smiled up at him from your spot on his chest. The two of you were cuddled up on the couch watching a movie, a now empty bowl of popcorn in front of you. 

“Just…” he searched for the right words, “Just processing.”

You shifted so you faced him, the movie forgotten, “Was it a good talk with Price today?” 

“Yeah, he made some good points,” he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear so he could see the entirety of your face, traced a finger across a brow, “Said some things that needed hearing.” 

The knot that had been growing in your stomach for months loosened. He’d been so gentle with you. So patient. So attentive. He dedicated all his time and energy to you wanting to make sure you had everything you needed. He learned to make his presence known before making an appearance. He was naturally a silent walker, so he discovered knocking on walls and doorframes was effective. Sometimes he’d whistle or hum a tune in the hallway before appearing around a corner. 

He had also taken to sitting on the floor of the bathroom while you shower so he was close by when your psyche inevitably betrayed you and confused reality for memories. The water seemed to suffocate your lungs even if it was just rolling down your back. He’d usually be able to catch you before you hit the tiles, but other times he was picking you off the floor. He would shut off the shower, and dry you with a towel while you calmed. He’d switch out of his soaking clothes and then patch up any cuts and scrapes from the tiles. 

You tried bathing once, but when you settled into the water and it sloshed against the sides and against your skin, you lost it. He’d very very quickly hauled you out and drained the water. 

But during all this, he never really allowed himself grace. Never allowed himself to grieve, and it was beginning to show in the shadows of his face. He looked starved. Not of food or drink but of happiness, of laughter. It was starting to worry you, but hearing this admission from him was like the sun was rising after a month-long night. 

“I’m glad.” You reached up and picked a stray fallen eyelash from his cheek and held it out in front of him, “Make a wish.” 

He thought for a second before settling on one and blowing the lash from your finger. 

“What did you wish for?”

“I can’t ya,” he gave you an offended look, “Or else it won’t come true.” 

You scoffed, shoving at his shoulder, “You guys and your superstitions.” 

You settled your head into his lap, grabbing at one of his hands to trace the ink of his tattoos. 

He was entirely silent, and when you look back at him, shocked tears burned in your eyes at the sight of him.

He was completely unravelled before you. 

Stripped of any facade.  

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, eyebrows furrowing. It wasn’t an apology because of what happened, or of his own tear that rolled down his cheek. He was sorry he was just figuring it out now. That it took him this long to realize that he needs you just as much as you need him. 

“Oh,” you sat up, cupping his face in your hands and kissing the salty tear away, “I know. I know.” 

“I’m trying—” his voice caught. His brown eyes lined with silver squeezed shut. 

“I know,” you pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Then his cheek. The line at his brows.   

He wrapped his arms around your center and pulled you until you were in his lap, your knees braced beside his hips. He shoved his face into your neck, inhaling your scent. You rubbed soft slow circles into his back, outlining his muscle with a nail. He basically liquefied at your touch, and it was like a little bit of the weight he was carrying dissolved in reply. 

You stayed like that and held onto him until the credits of the movie you were watching started rolling.  

“Simon?” you asked, as gently as you could, unsure if he’d fallen asleep or not. 

“Mmm?” he didn’t move. 

“Want to come get a soft serve with me?” you ran a hand through his hair and goosebumps arose up and down his arms. 

“What flavour?” he pulled back and looked up at you.

You rolled your eyes, “Blue goo. When have I gotten any other flavour?”

“Cherry’s better.”

“No,” you got up from his lap, holding out your hands for him.

“Why can’t we ever agree on anything?” he took your hands in his, got up and pulled you towards the door. 

“Cause everything you like is weird and vile,” you toed on your shoes, passing him the car keys hanging on the wall after he put his own shoes on. 

“You’re weird and vile,” he threw on a ballcap since it wasn't socially acceptable to wear a mask with a skull sewn into it, but still found comfort in the small sense of privacy. 

He opened the door for you, and you stepped out, but turned back to give him a kiss, “I love you.”

He smiled into the kiss, “I love you.”    

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A/N - he wished for your peace 

Tag List  -  @thychuvaluswife ❤︎ @beakami

#simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley fanfiction #simon ghost riley drabble #simon riley x you #simon riley #simon riley x reader #cod fanfic #cod x reader #cod ghost #mw2 x reader #mw2 #ghost mw2 #MistyGhosties

[thepixelelf]

Oh Baby, You Part 25 - Completely Surrounded

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You wonder, absently, if hearing the word "dividends" for the fifth time in ten minutes constitutes an emergency signal. Certainly, Jeonghan has heard the word an uncountable amount of times in his years as Mingyu's assistant, but to you, it's nothing rousing.

Choi Seungcheol seems like a nice enough person— well, if you were someone who didn't know he's asked someone out purely to squeeze information out of them. (Which he's doing a terrible job of, by the way, seeing as he's done 90% of the talking since you sat down.) He's good looking, in the guy you'd ask to chop wood for you kind of way (although the three piece suit detracts from that a bit and adds a more you can't afford me aura to his whole thing), plus he offered to buy your drink before he realized you'd already ordered.

But it's just so… awkward. You already know he's not actually interested in you, and you're so tense trying to keep all your secrets under wraps that you can only focus on what not to say rather than what to say.

At least part of what you're going to tell Seungcheol is true. You really do think you're not ready to get back into the dating game. It's not just that you need to keep everyone at arm's length — you're already skirting the rules enough with Vernon and Co. You've also thrown yourself so deep into raising your son that no one has even remotely caught your romantic eye. Or maybe that part of you is broken now. Retired.

You keep telling yourself that you're over Wonwoo and the unfortunate circumstances that tore you apart.

Sometimes it's not a lie.

It's not very nice, you know, to compare Seungcheol to Wonwoo. To think about how you miss the easy way you could always speak to each other; how Wonwoo used to let out these nerdy yet adorable chuckles; how he could make you laugh with just a side eye.

Then again, it's not very nice of Seungcheol to do this to you, either. Both the not-so-subtle interrogation tactic and the stocks talk.

As soon as your phone vibrates with an incoming call, though, you instantly regret wishing for an out.

No news is good news when it comes to babysitting, and a call from Vernon with no precursory text—?

Your heartbeat picks up.

"I'm sorry," you say, completely cutting off whatever Seungcheol was going on about. "I need to take this." Without a second more of hesitation, you bring your phone up to your ear. "Vernon? What's going on?"

He speaks quickly. "Have you talked to Chan?"

"No." You frown, one of your fingers tapping nervously against your leg. "Why?"

"Fuck…"

"Vernon," you repeat. "What is going on?"

"Okay—" Vernon takes a deep breath, and the words flow out of him so fast, you struggle to keep up. "So I had to go pick up my little sister because she found herself in a bad spot so I left Chan with Orion because he's a fully capable human being most of the time except when I picked Sofia up I texted him that I was coming back and he didn't answer at all and didn't pick up the phone when Seungkwan and I tried to call and now I just made it back to your apartment and Chan's car is gone and neither of them are in the room and I don't know what the fuck is—"

"They're gone?" you whisper. Your fingers have wrapped around a napkin, gripping onto it much too tight. Across the table, Seungcheol furrows his thick brows as he observes you, but you can't find it in yourself to keep up any sort of facade right now.

Vernon groans, and you can picture him running a nervous hand through his hair. "I don't know— I don't… wait."

"What?"

"Seungkwan said he might've found Chan's phone GPS location?"

You make a confused noise. "How?"

"I don't know," Vernon says, "but he said they're at the hospital?"

You stand abruptly, the legs of your chair screeching as they scrape against the floor. "The hospital?!"

"I'm gonna head there now." Vernon's starting to sound out of breath, not far off from how you feel despite not moving anywhere. "Do you want me to pick you up? But wait— that café is on the other side of town—"

"You go," you tell him, more concerned with finding Orion and Chan faster than you needing to be the one to find them. "I'll find my own—" You glance outside at the traffic flooding by. "Maybe a bus, or—"

"I'll drive you."

Turning back to Seungcheol, you see nothing in his expression except for concern. Your first thought is that he shouldn't look concerned. He should be smug. An opportunity to see your son in person has fallen right into his lap.

But you're anxious. And scared.

So you take him up on his offer.

You say nothing for the duration of the ride to the hospital, silently stewing over the idiotic choice to bring CEO Choi with you. It wasn't like you had many options, but still…

You ignore all of Jeonghan's frantic texts.

When Seungcheol pulls up in front of the building, you step out of the car so quickly that you almost trip. Before you swing the fancy car door shut, you lean down and give him a genuine smile. This is the perfect opportunity to leave him behind. "Thank you," you say. "For the ride."

The fact that there's a line to the front counter of the emergency room makes your heart clench painfully in your chest, but no sooner do you run up to the queue than you hear your son calling out to you. Frantically, you turn this way and that, until you see Orion sitting, perfectly unharmed, on Wonwoo's lap in the waiting area.

"Orion!" You hurry over to them, your hands immediately cupping Orion's face and brushing through his hair to check for anything amiss. He looks completely fine, as opposed to Wonwoo, whom you refuse to make eye contact with.

His eyes are watering at the edges, and he looks at you like you took his world and crushed it between your evil fingers.

You did, once upon a time.

Gathering Orion in your arms and standing up straight, you press a kiss to his forehead and pat his hair. "You okay, baby?"

He nods, attempting to fit half of his fist in his mouth. You can't help but laugh, relief flooding your veins as it settles in that your son is alright.

Which means…

You look at Wonwoo, despite every cell in your body begging you not to. "What happened?" you ask. "Where's Chan?"

And why are you here? But you don't say that.

Slowly, Wonwoo stands, his eyes never leaving yours. He's trying to read you, his lips pressed in a thin line, his arms limp at his sides as he stands right in front of you.

It's unnerving, and it makes you take half a step backwards.

Wonwoo takes one sideways glance at Orion before his eyes return to yours. "Tell me it's not him," he whispers, voice strained.

You try to brush it off with a breathy laugh. "What? What do you mean?"

This is why you didn't want Wonwoo to see Orion again. You know exactly what he means.

Wonwoo whispers your name like it hurts him to pronounce. It hurts you, too, but you push it all deep, deep down.

"Please," he says. "Please, just… If it was anyone else…"

"Is everything alright?" Seungcheol's voice appears behind you, and you instinctively hug Orion closer, hiding his face against your shoulder. He snuggles up without complaint, completely unaware of the turmoil happening around him.

You break away from Wonwoo's unwavering gaze, only slightly thankful for the reprieve considering the other option is a power-hungry CEO vying for your friend's position in their company.

"When did you—"

"Orion!" Vernon bursts into the waiting room, out of breath and sweating. He jogs right up to you and your son, and he pats his hand on Orion's head. "You okay little buddy?"

Orion shifts in your arms, moving to lift his head and answer, but in your panic, you gently hold him in place. Seungcheol is too close for comfort, and frankly, you don't want Wonwoo seeing Orion's face either.

Wonwoo says your name again, beckoning your attention, just as Seungcheol asks, "What happened?"

Vernon looks between the two men, and pauses on Seungcheol. "Wait, aren't you—?"

"Guys?" Chan emerges from somewhere. You're too disoriented at this point to tell. "What's going on?"

He joins the group, and you can't even chastise him for the dumb shit he did to land you in this situation because your blood is pumping so hard you can hear it in your eardrums. You're completely surrounded, all by people who don't know—

Once again, Wonwoo says your name, but this time he speaks clearly, loud enough for the three other men to go quiet and look at him even though the only one he's looking at is you. He reaches a hand up, and you're frozen in place as he places it gently on your cheek. The touch alone makes you want to cry.

"Tell me," he begs. "Tell me it's not Mingyu."

The silence that fills the space between you is solid and thick. It threatens to drown you.

"I…" You open your mouth, but it's suddenly dry. "I…"

You hear Seungcheol breathe out behind you.

"I have to go."

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oby tagging 1, 50/50: @shiningstar-byulxx @shuabby-woowoo @90s-belladonna @xavi-in-kpopland @kachren @xmessaroundx @chwevernonlover @kwanisms @dalamjisung @1ntaktak @crazywittysassy @butterfliesinthenightsky @ddaengpotate @dorrysstuff @ckline35 @vanishingboots @potatofrieswithketchup @minhwa @oncecaratorbit @sugacookees @royal9 @doodlelibrary @myjaeyunn @yksthings @jundundun @amosmortese @jaeskz @seungmintree @woozarts @my-chaos-in-stars @yoonychoik @ksywoo @kellesvt @candidupped @sharkipoonis @wooahaeproductions @capsiclesworld @hellodefthings @sunshineshouchan @calumsfringe @caratinluv @pinkysinnerbaby @winterwallacehenderson @jvhoons @woo8hao @sxftiell @wondering-out-loud

#seventeen smau #seventeen social media au #svt smau #svt social media au #wonwoo smau #wonwoo social media au #jeon wonwoo smau #jeon wonwoo social media au #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #svt scenarios #svt imagines #svt x reader #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios

[radiant-reid]

Little Touches

Summary: Just a few moments where Spencer learns how much he loves touches

could you do one where BAU! Reader and Spencer are dating, and they know each other like the backs of their own hands, so whenever he gets either anxious, overwhelmed, or is just having a bad time on a case, she knows exactly how to calm him? 

spencer getting into a relationship where the other person is aware of how much he doesn’t like physical touch but he doesn’t know how to tell them that he wants to be touched, so slowly, over time, he sneaks little touches and kisses (maybe even some PDA?!)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (fluff)

Content Warning: Spencer gets a couple of minor injuries 

Word Count: 2.6k

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Spencer had never understood touches. Scientifically, he understood why people needed to feel physical, but he didn’t have enough experiences to be agreeing that it helped him personally. He felt okay getting enough oxytocin from spending time with his friends and getting hugs from Henry.

Things were different with Y/n. From the first time he kissed her, he knew things weren’t going to stay the way they were.

Y/n was cautious going into it, concerned he’d find her level of physical affection alarming when she’d only seen him hug four people since the start of her time at the BAU. 

The very first day after they got together, they were called in for a case early in the morning. Spencer was there only second to Hotch, and he'd already made two coffees when Y/n walked in.

"Here." He offered her designated mug out to her with a sheepish smile. Her coffee order had been memorized in his head since she joined the team, but he didn't have a reason to make it until now.

It was odd to see him at work when she'd just been on the phone with him the night before for two hours. Even though she'd had a crush on him for months while working alongside him, something felt different.

"You made me a coffee?" She asked once she took it, eyes darting around the quiet office.

There was a spoken agreement that they wouldn't tell the rest of the team for a while because it was so new, and things were much less messy when no one else knew.

Spencer nodded, his cheeks reddening as he looked down at the liquid in his mug. "It's my job now." He asserted before his voice got quieter. "As your boyfriend."

"Well then, I'll see you in there, boyfriend." Y/n teased a little, adoring the way the official title rolled off her tongue. Testing the boundary, she reached out to touch his forearm, letting her hand linger there for a moment before she turned off to walk up the stairs. It left that tingling feeling inside of Spencer that he didn't know was possible because of something physical rather than emotional.

~

They fell in love with the physical connection they got to have when they weren't masquerading as colleagues as quickly as they fell in love with each other. The early morning walks to the coffee shop before work where they could walk hand in hand and sit close to each other. The dates to the movie theater where they could sit right next to each other and Y/n could rest her head on his shoulder.

All the cases had made it difficult for them to find any time to spend together. It was something they knew would happen, but even a month in and it was hard to hang out.

So, when Spencer invited her to a French film festival, she agreed despite not being able to speak French. It was a drive-in theatre so Y/n drove so they could sit in the back of her car.

Because Spencer had to give her a whisper translated, they sat close together, but they both wanted to be just a little bit closer. His voice had been right in her ear all night, and she was ready to do something about it.

When she shifted away from him, he was worried that he'd gone too far by holding her hand. "What's wrong?" He asked, turning away from the movie to look at her.

"Nothing, but can you sit against there?" She asked, gesturing to the side of the car.

Spencer obliged her request, shuffling over so his back rested against the side instead of the back of the seats. She moved closer to him, crawling between his legs when they spread on instinct.

When she finally settled, it was with her head on his chest, her body between his legs, and her arms wrapped around him. Spencer immediately relaxed, holding her tighter to him and stroking her back. He could feel the instant effect that all those positive studies had detailed, and he wondered why he missed out on this, on her, for so long.

"Is this alright?" She checked, head tilting up to meet his fond gaze.

It was so much more than alright to him, feeling her weight on top of him like it was an anchor. "Yeah, this is really good."

~

Touches only became a more common part of their lives as their relationship progressed. Cuddling on the couch was much more prominent whenever they had a free evening. Outside of work, his hands were always on her. She knew it was only a matter of time before they weren't able to keep their 3-month long relationship a secret.

But Sunday mornings were not a time for that concern. Sunday mornings were a time for sleeping late and one trying to kick the other out of bed to make breakfast.

Y/n volunteered that morning since he had the last 2 times. Once she brought him coffee in bed, she got started on some pancakes. But before she could even start cooking them, two surprisingly thick, tanned forearms wrapped their way around her waist. The veins looked delicious and he struggled to not His scent engulfed her, heavy cologne in the air.

"What's this?" She asked, no longer focused on what she was doing as she tilted her head up to look into his beautiful brown eyes. The touches of gold flickered in the late morning sunshine.

"Missed you," Spencer claimed, eyes fixed on admiring the color in hers. Gently, he rocked them side to side when she turned back around to focus on breakfast, keeping his head tucked tightly into her neck.

Y/n giggled lightly, her face breaking out in a grin. "Been away from you for, like, five minutes." She reminded him but he was hardly paying attention as he peppered kisses on her cheeks.

Before she could keep cooking, Spencer spun her around and sat her up on the counter so he could stand in between her knees, keeping his face only inches away from hers.

"So? Every minute I don't get to see your face is terrible." He told her dramatically.

"What do you do when you're sleeping then?" She asked, trying to find a question to trick him.

But alas, her genius boyfriend couldn't be tricked, and his romantic wooing only came out more intense. "Not a problem because I dream about you."

"Stop" She squealed, hitting him on the shoulder. "You're the absolute sappiest."

"Never going to stop." He promised her, clearly meaning something more serious than a casual retort.

The way he looked with the sun streaming through the big windows in his apartment was criminal. So insanely attractive it was unfair. Like he was made to stand in the sun with his cheekbones pronounced and his eyes a shade lighter.

"I love you." He said, beating her to it.

"I love you." She smiled back, leaning forward an extra inch to rest her forehead against and letting her eyelids flutter closed. Spencer did the same thing, breathing in and out calmly and in sync with her.

There was something so grounding about it, being so close to someone you love with your whole heart, and it took away so much of the stress they had placed on them due to their jobs. She could feel his breath against her skin with every exhale, warm and comforting.

They only pulled away when Spencer's stomach rumbled, making her giggle. "So, pancakes?" He asked, eyes flicking to the bowl.

"Your favorite." She answered. "But I'm just going to sit here looking pretty while you cook them."

He chuckled, eyes drifting down to her figure covered by just one of his shirts and a pair of panties. It was his favorite sight in the world. "You absolutely need to just sit there and look pretty." He assured her.

Happily, she agreed, letting him cook before eventually sitting next to him at the kitchen island to eat, which always led to Spencer spinning the barstool she was sitting on with his foot playfully and unexpectedly. They spent all morning there, talking, reading the newspaper, and getting impossibly closer.

Then the phone rang, and, separately, they were being invited to dinner at Rossi's.

"Always look pretty in that dress," Spencer told her later that evening as they changed. Even if they had to go separately and pretend they weren't a couple there, they were going to spend the whole day together.

Y/n spun around from where she was critiquing herself in the mirror, taking in her incredibly beautiful boyfriend in his dark blue suit. "Thank you." She replied, stepping closer to kiss his cheek. Her lipstick left a bright pink mark on his cheek.

"Lovely, I can't go like this." He joked, reaching across the counter for a makeup wipe.

Sitting up on the countertop, she looked at his skillful fingers as they wiped off the mark. "I like marking you up, though." She countered, earning an immediate blush on his cheeks.

He stopped what he was doing, turning his head to look at her. "Do you mean that as something different?" He asked, trying to stop himself from reading into what felt like a lighthearted comment.

Y/n had only meant it jokingly, not about revealing their whole life, but his question made her think harder about it. "Yeah... yes, I do." She stated a bit more firmly. "I want everyone to know."

"Not as much as I want everyone to know." He stated, stepping closer to her where he could place his hands on the counter on either side of her body. "Tonight?" He asked, dropping his head down, so they were face to face, just inches apart.

"Tonight," Y/n confirmed, leaning forward to kiss him. She ran her finger along his lipstick-covered bottom lip. "Oh, yeah, they'll know now definitely."

He grinned while blushing, moving out of her way so she could hop down. "Let's go then." He grabbed her hand as soon as he could, leading her through the house to the car.

His hand stayed on her thigh the whole drive to Rossi's, reassuring her that everything would be okay because she was nervous even if she wasn't showing it.

When he parked the car, and she realized everyone else was there, her concerns about what they would think doubled. "We'll be alright." He assured her, placing a kiss on her cheek before dragging her out of the car.

"So we're just going to knock on the door and do this?" She asked, tightening her grip on his hand.

"Sure." Spencer agreed, surprisingly more calm than she thought he would be. He knocked when she couldn't, eyes darting to her while they waited for someone to come open it.

Penelope was there first, and her squeal quickly brought everyone else to the foyer, earning Y/n and Spencer a round of hugs and congratulations from everyone. There was nothing but excitement from all of their friends. Spencer's knee rested against hers for the whole dinner, and the smiles that were plastered on both of their faces only grew each time they looked at each other.

~

Round table meetings had always had a seating plan, even if it wasn't official, and Y/n's designated spot was right next to her boyfriend. But it was difficult for her to be so close to him without touching him, so they settled for something smaller.

They'd fallen into a routine of touches, and that morning wasn't any different. After he walked in with her coffee, he sat next to her, and when the case presentation started, his pinky finger came to rest against hers, touching her just enough that she could deal with everything she was about to hear.

The case wasn't any worse than usual, but Y/n could tell Spencer had a bad feeling about it, just from how he was a little more flustered than usual.

His stressing didn't stop at the precinct in Miami, and he was struggling to make the proper connections as he looked at the board.

"Here." Y/n handed him a cup of coffee when she walked in, failing to tell him it was decaf. Hotch and Morgan were watching the interaction from the table where they were going over some of the suspect files.

"Thanks," Spencer said, taking it from her.

While they looked at the board, she reached down to wrap her fingers around his wrist, touching her fingers to his pulse point. It was fast, far too quick. "You've gotta breathe, baby." She whispered quiet enough that no one could hear. "Your big brain can't work if you're so tense."

He understood by the nod he gave her, looking at her just for a moment before going back to the board with much more relaxed shoulders.

Two minutes later, he was rushing out of the room, throwing some instructions to Y/n and Hotch and taking Morgan with him. "How do you do that?" Hotch asked as she sat down across from him.

"What?" She asked, looking up at him, a little nervously like she was about to get in trouble.

"I've worked with him for 7 years, and I've never seen him relax as quickly as he does whenever you do that thing that you do." He explained.

Y/n smiled a little, grateful she could help him. "I don't know, but I'm glad I can."

"So am I." He replied, breaking his stoic expression to smile at her.

Somehow, it went wrong. Terribly wrong, and by the time Y/n and Hotch ended up at the crime scene, Spencer was sitting in the back of an ambulance.

As soon as the SUV stopped, she was jumping out to race over to his side. "What happened?" She asked, concern filling her voice.

Spencer was holding an icepack to his eye while a medic shone a light in the other. "Got my ass kicked." He joked, trying not to let her worry too much.

"Baby." She cooed, sitting next to him when the medic, not worried about anything more than superficial damage, left them. "Your pretty face." She pouted, reaching out to cup his cheeks and running her thumbs over his cheekbones. There were stitches on one side, skin red.

"Not just my face," Spencer admitted, pulling up his shirt so she could see the bruise that was already forming on his lower stomach.

It looked really bad and she reached out to touch his side, trying to be gentle but he still winced. She moved back to sitting next to him, cupping his cheeks again. His bottom lip was split, he had a black eye forming, and there was a cut above his eyebrow. She leaned forward, peppering a few kisses around his cheeks and jawline, anywhere she could get them without causing him pain.

"Stop looking at me like that." He complained, a little red.

"Nuh-uh. You're too hurt for that baby." She reasoned, maintaining eye contact with him. "And don't be pretending that you do like these little touches."

He chuckled out a breath, immediately wishing he hadn't when his ribs started hurting. "I do. More than you could ever know."

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[herrscherrofyatta]

Let you break my heart again

Tighnari x reader

angst, no gender/pronouns are used to describe reader

summary: after lashing out on you, Tighnari can't help but feel the distance between you two and you find someone interesting in Mondstadt

part 1 part 3

The blonde traveler who's name is Lumine, sat with you in Sumeru city, she had seen you in the village and was a bit confused on why you were in the city now, did Tighnari send you here for something??

"um, I'm not speaking terms with him anymore so I moved back to the city with my parents." You explain, it been weeks since Tighnari said those things about you. "I also left my position as a forest watcher..."

Lumine frowned at this, "but Collei said you loved working there."

You pursed your lips, looking to the side, "I'm just...not suited to work there." You say in a quiet tone, rubbing your arm. "I dunno if he even knows I'm gone, probably not." Letting out a forced laugh, "maybe too much with work again."

Lumine watched your expressions, something must have happened between you two. It must have been bad since your self confidence has gone down tremendously.

She begins to think, maybe you just need a change of scenery? Yeah that's it!

"...how about I bring you to Mondstadt?"

Raising your head to look at her, you give her a confused look, "Mondstadt?"

She nods, a smile on her lips, "mm! I have a friend there, he mentioned something about needing someone to help him."

"Help him? With what? I don't see how this involves me." You lean your chin onto of your palm as you stare at her with confusion.

She begins to tell you everything she knows.

—

"Tighnari, where's Y/n?" Collei asks, peeking her head inside the hut he was in and he continues to work, scribbling on the paper.

"they must be in the forest, probably being careless again." He answers rather harsh, this makes the girl a bit confused.

"Hm? But they're not there?" She says with a confused tone in her voice.

He stops writing to look pick up the next price of papers he needs to read over. But upon seeing them, he recognizes your neat handwriting and he begins to read what you wrote.

Maybe it was an apology letter or a report on the areas you patrol often.

But his heart drops, "Collei."

She tilts her head, "when was the last time you talked with Y/n?"

She thinks, "I think...maybe three weeks ago? They said they was going to spend a month trying cleansing a few areas. Why? Did something happen?"

He lets out a shaky breathe, eyes glued on the words written on the paper he was holding.

You had quit your position and left the village.

—

Your cheeks are bright red due of the cold air hitting your face as you clutch the cloak closer to you to provide warmth to shivering body.

Your eyes widen at the sight of the snowy mountain in front of you, completely memorized at the sight of it since you were never allowed to travel far.

"It's beautiful." You huff out, smiling as Lumine pats her back at a good job before you begin walking up the mountain while her walking beside you.

Halfway up the mountain, you look at Lumine, "this Albedo person...what's he like?"

She just smiles at you, "just wait and see, you won't be disappointed." You feel even more excited to meet him.

Once arriving at a cave, you let out a sigh of relief at the sight of fire as you quickly tried to warm yourself up. The potion Lumine had given you had wore off an some time ago.

It seems like the fire wasn't help as you kept trembling, you frown as tried to make yourself warm.

A white coat was draped over your shoulders, an unfamiliar scent filled your nose as you look back to see a young man around your age smiling at you.

"Albedo." Lumine greets, "this is Y/n."

You turn around as he holds out his hand, "it's a pleasure to meet you, I heard many great things about you from the traveler." Your eyes shine at this as you shake his hand.

"Is it true you can cleanse things?" He asked and you quickly nod your head.

"Yes! My family has been doing it for decades but it seemed to die out at some point." You explain, holding the coat closer to you, "I tried mastering my ancestors technics but....so far I only caused trouble back ho—where I worked at." You fix your words, the village no longer felt like home to you.

Albedo lets out a hum, placing a hand under his chin as he starts to check you out.

You blink at this, suddenly feeling self conscious at how this attractive guy was staring at you so intensely.

He shakes his head, "yes, you'll do just fine. Come, we have things to do. Traveler, if you'll excuse us."

You don't register the fact that he grabbed you by the hand, tugging you deeper within his lab.

Lumine just watches, waving at you two before leaving.

—

"What you mean they quit!?" Collei yells as soon as Tighnari returned fron Sumeru city, he went to go see if you were staying with your parents but turned out you left without a word almost a week and half ago.

Collei had found your letter when Tighnari left earlier. She felt confused, sad, so many emotions she was feeling this very moment.

Tighnari drops his head, "I....I think this is my fault—"

Collei snaps her head at him, "what did you do?"

He does respond, covering his face with his hand, "I need to find them."

Masterlist

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact #tighnari x y/n #tighnari x you #tighnari x reader #tighnari #albedo x y/n #albedo x you #genshin albedo #albedo imagines #albedo x reader #albedo #𒆜let you break my heart again𒆜

[azul-marie]

leon. (desiderate)

fem. reader. canon-typical violence/injuries mentioned.

if only you’d been beside him a second sooner.

the surrounding ganados were resolute in killing the two of you, but so far you’d handled everything well. he took the front, you, the back. it was going fine enough, up until a creature welding a machete managed to land a clean slice across the side of his abdomen, easily cutting through the flesh. your partner’s pained sounds were a nightmare on the ears.

once that damned church bell finally rang upon safety could you take cover in an abandoned home to check whatever damage was done.

now another challenge began.

“please, just let me see how bad it is.” your pleas are no match for stubbornness. leon waves you off, pretending that he isn’t holding a bleeding wound. his beautiful jacket, a favorite of his, he had told you on the way to the village, stains his hand a bright scarlet. he lingers by a window to keep watch outside, his handsome face scrunched with discomfort.

“it’s fine. i’m fine. focus on yourself first.” his reply is curt, slightly winded. his broad chest heaves as he applies more pressure on his injury, his jaw setting tightly to avoid letting out a moan of pain. you watch helplessly, unused to the view of your calm, confident partner so hurt.

the two of you hadn’t been partners for long, but something akin to a friendship was undoubtedly there. his odd quips, the occasional joke that would usually cause eye rolling and groans were actually rather charming coming from a man of his reputation — you took them in stride, bouncing off of his personality as if you’d known each other all your lives.

but there is a certain coldness to leon. an inner frost, like a perpetual twist of the brows stuck in thought, or eyes heavy with a lack of heart. clear reminders of whatever he’s gone through before meeting you. perhaps it’s the innate good you sense from him that encourages the desire to know him, befriend him. a goodness that is such he’d prefer bleeding out if it meant saving you first.

you gather your courage. with cautious steps you approach his side, place a benign hand on his bicep that silently insists. at first, leon refuses to look your way. he's all too aware of those doe eyes you’re making at him — knows it’ll get him weak in the knees. the touch on his arm is already making it harder to breathe.

“leon…” —god, do you have to say his name so softly like that?— “i’m not hurt. i’m worried about you. just let me take a look so i can help ease the pain. please.”

his eyes flicker down to yours before he can stop himself. fuck. those pretty eyes, brows turned up with concern, flutter when they meet his. leon’s jaw goes slack, and he swallows so hard he’s certain he gulps aloud.

“okay…okay. i surrender.” he says, a hint of humor lacing in. “sorry to have made you beg.”

your unease melts into a beaming smile. “as long as it paid off.”

after finding the most stable looking chair in the house, leon peels off his beloved jacket on the one side he’s hurt, exposing the weeping cut caked with a mix of dried and fresh blood. he at least looks a little sheepish to have insisted he was fine, when he was, in fact, not very fine at all.

you cringe at the sight, deterring any ogling leon would've preferred to see instead. you carefully lift his skin-tight shirt to examine the cut further. the feel of your smooth fingers gliding across his bare skin sends a wave of gooseflesh over every inch of him. he reminds himself he’s a professional, not a schoolboy.

“i’m…i’m sorry, but, ew. aside from that, it’s actually not too deep. a good cleaning should help, since that blade was probably really unsanitary. then i’ll bandage you up. sounds good?”

leon is quiet. concerned, you glance upwards to check on him, only to find he’s already staring at you. something hot clenches at your chest. his eyes fall to your parted lips for a split second before realizing you’ve stopped talking.

“yeah.” he mindlessly agrees. it is incredibly obvious to the both of you that he hasn’t heard a word you said. you kindly choose to ignore it, mostly because it’s cute. and because he’s probably lost a bit of blood while he was being stubborn. not to mention he was nearly sawed in half by a literal creature of darkness, too. something like that would take a moment to process.

“i’ll clean you up, then bandage the cut. sounds good?” you repeat slowly, trying to also kindly ignore how his eyes switch between your eyes and lips. leon nods, then looks away in silent complacency to let you do what you need to. and to steady himself when your hands run down the expanse of his abdomen to check for any other injuries he may have sustained.

he wonders how you’ve managed to keep such soft, supple hands. how they press just the right amount of pressure, not too much or too little. the first aid spray, nor the herbs you mix and crush into a salve hardly sting when you massage them across his wound. all the while your eyes, those pretty eyes, gleam with pure concentration as you work to heal him. help him. without ulterior motives, without asking for anything in return.

guilt overtakes him. to have you mend him despite his being perfectly capable feels selfish. reminds him of naivety and red. longings of the past. you two were already in over your heads, and now this? having you coddle him? leon’s hardly deserving. hardly worth your effort. he wasn’t the priority at this point, even if he made the promise to get all three of you back home safe. there were risks, dangers, that either of you could succumb to, but he’d be damned before letting anything happen to you. as long as you stuck together, nothing would.

“you with me, ace?”

your whisper jolts him out of thought. leon appears struck, as if forgetting you’re sat beside him, pressing bandages along his abdomen. your perplexed expression wakes him from his inner rumination. makes him think his own face is twisted in the way it gets whenever he’s too far deep in his mind.

leon takes a beat to answer. “uh…yeah. all good. sorry about that.”

“no need to apologize. i know it’s a lot to take in. i’m just worried about that handsome face of yours.”

he freezes, his dark thoughts at once evaporating. “my—what?”

you turn slightly bashful. “oh, well, you know. if you keep making the same kind of face, it’ll get stuck that way. i just…well, it would be a shame if yours did. you’re really quite nice on the eyes, leon.”

he gapes at you, stunned silent by your boldness. and what more it could imply. these sorts of compliments are nothing he’s not used to, clearly, but coming from you? the first person to mean something to him in years?

leon feels his face going hot. shit. he clears his throat, shifts in his creaking seat. prays he isn’t blushing as badly as he thinks he is. you manage to catch his fleeting eyes for a second. he watches how your lush lips turn up with an amused smile so poorly hidden he almost thinks you wanted him to notice — and just like that, he’s properly flustered.

he isn’t allowed to collect himself. soon you’re patting off whatever excess salve remains on his skin and tugging his shirt back down over freshly set bandages, held together by even more prayers and a bit of medical tape. you’re up and on your feet before leon can even pierce together the concept of thanking you.

you head to the nearest window for a quick peek outside. “looks like the villagers are still in the church. it’s all clear for now, unless they decide to cut service short.” you muse. leon joins you, carefully readjusting his jacket and his cool.

“don’t jinx us.” he huffs. “last thing we need is another run in with trouble. we should start looking for ashley now that things are quiet.”

you agree. after one last weapons and supplies check, you lead the way towards the front door to brave whatever awaits the two of you ahead. before you finish twisting the doorknob, he pats an awkward hand on your shoulder.

leon says your name intently. “…i appreciate your help. very much.” he hesitates, his tongue slipping out to wet his lips. you can still see a bloom of pink across his cheeks. “so…thanks. i owe you one.”

you pat his shoulder in return with a mellow smile. “of course, leon. it’s why i’m here. i am your favorite partner after all.” you joke, turning the moment he lets out a chuckle. you miss the way his eyes soften as he takes in the pretty view of you.

“true. but it’s not like you had much competition in the first place.”

“ha-ha. if you’re saying i win by default, then that’s just fine by—”

the moment the two of you step outside, an incoming call from hunnigan interrupts the lighthearted atmosphere. the sudden intrusion turns leon’s face somber once more, though he glances somewhat apologetically at you before answering.

no matter, you think. there’s plenty of time to spare for team-bonding.

#resident evil 4 imagines #re4 imagines #resident evil imagines #resident evil #resident evil x reader #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy imagines #leon kennedy imagine #i want to flirt with leon sooo bad LOL #i just love seeing him shy 🤩 is it ooc? perhaps. do i care? of course not!!! #pining leon is the best #give this man some longing and i’m set #may or may not be the prequel to luis’s sweet talk 👀

[secretsofblackthornhall]

Emma to Bruce

Dear Bruce,

Bruce, Bruce, Bruce. Will I keep writing to you when all these renovations are done? When things have returned to some form of normalcy? Or is normalcy over—is the crack in the Nephilim world one that can’t be healed but will only widen over time, with more and more changes, until finally there is too much change to bear? In which case I guess I will keep writing to you, Bruce, as a kind of silent witness to the strangeness of these times.

Sorry, sorry. I am feeling a little poetic tonight because Jem and Tessa and Kit and Mina arrived today and…well, that’s just kind of how Jem and Tessa talk. Being, you know. Way old. And because it feels like all this business with the cursed house is in its final chapters and I don’t have any idea how things are going to be after that.

In any event we didn’t do anything about the curse today, we just ended up visiting with the Carstairs-Herondales, who should definitely pick a shorter name we can use for them. Team Victorian Era? Team Time When Everything Was Very Romantic But It Took Forever To Get Anywhere? Hm. I guess I’ll ask them for ideas, since mine are, uh, bad.

There was some complication right when they arrived. We had picked out a couple of bedrooms for them to use and asked the brownies to make them up with sheets and towels and all that. And then we checked them before the guests arrived and I’m glad we did because the faeries had made up all the rooms for…birds? Like, for huge, person-sized birds. Big nests of sticks, six feet across, and branches to perch on. And big balls of birdseed hanging from the ceiling.  So we had to ask them to redo the rooms and the brownies looked so disappointed. (But we didn’t say the guests were birds! I have no idea why they thought that!) The worst part is they did a really nice job, like, if we were being visited by giant birds they would have been very comfortable. They still seemed puzzled when everyone did show up that Mina wasn’t a big egg. Faeries, man.

Speaking of Mina, who is not a big egg but rather a small toddler, she is extremely cute. She is walking now, or toddling, I guess, and she says “mama” and “dada” and also “kish” which apparently is what she calls Kit. And she has a little wooden toy stele that she is constantly trying to scribble on everyone with. Apparently Kit has been learning runes and Mina wants to learn them too.

We should have just gone straight into curse-breaking but to be honest we were just having a very nice time hanging out. Tessa and Jem are very easy to spend time with, which is nice given how high-strung most of our other friends are. I suppose once you’ve gone through all the stuff that has happened to them, it takes a lot to upset you. Just the way Jem talks about the curse makes me feel more reassured that we’ll be able to fix it, even though we don’t really know what we’re doing or what’s gone wrong so far.

They seem really impressed by the house, also, which makes Julian look all proud of himself in a highly adorable way. Tessa said the last time either of them were here was after Tatiana was arrested and sent to be an Iron Sister, and they were searching it for demon stuff. (Most of which, she admitted, they clearly didn’t find. It seems obvious from the way she talks that they didn’t understand how dangerous Tatiana really was until it was too late—I really want to ask her about that but it seemed a dark topic while we were all having a good time.) Jem said by that time it was already in pretty bad shape, but Tessa said she saw the house once “in its prime” at a ball, and then she blushed a little. Whatever happened during that ball must have been pretty impressive if she’s blushing about it 130 years later!

Of course there’s still that overall shroud of heavy memory that kind of hangs over the place, and no amount of new paint and replaced windows can help that. That’d be the curse, of course. Still, it felt cheerier this evening than it ever has before. For the first time I felt a little like it was our house and friends had come to visit and it was surprisingly nice and ordinary. As long as I don’t think about what’s going on with the Clave.

Also a concern: Kit. He was hanging out with us most of the day, but he was really quiet, for him, and a couple of times he excused himself to go take a walk in the garden. Julian said he thinks Kit broke up with his girlfriend and maybe he’s sad about that, but I don’t know. He was really jumpy whenever any of the builders were around, and kept a close eye on them anytime they were nearby. Round Tom introduced himself and Kit nodded, but he didn’t say his name or much of anything else. I mean, you can hardly blame him. His relationship to faeries, and Faerie itself, is complicated. According to Tessa, Cirenworth is very tightly warded against faerie incursions, and even the town and the roads nearby are protected. Magnus and Catarina made sure of it. So this would be one of the first times he’s been around faeries since the big battle outside Alicante; even though these faeries are safe, it must be weird for him.

But you know Kit. He has this aura about him like he doesn’t want to answer any questions about how he’s doing. Today he’s been out front, watching the faeries in the garden — it could be he’s worried about them, or maybe he wants to join them? I don’t know. Maybe Julian or I can get him to open up a little while he’s here. Or maybe I’ll get a moment to ask Jem or Tessa if they know what’s up.

Anyway, that’s all from me for now, Bruce. Tomorrow we break a curse! I hope!

Emma

#sobh #secrets of blackthorn hall #emma carstairs #bruce #Kit Herondale #jem and tessa #julian blackthorn #faeries

[worlds-oldest-teenager]

I’m interested. How do Apollo and Artemis’s desire to protect each other drive a wedge between them?

I'm glad you askeddd. Thank you for being my first anon ever btw. (@crowmakeska-boom idk if you are the anon but anon, whoever you are, sorry for the wait). This is probably not a very good meta cause it's mostly vibes, gut feelings and filling in the blanks with below the bare minimum of textual evidence but oh well. 

First I'd like to talk about why I think Artemis and Apollo's relationship is kind of distant. They're a confusing duo. When you first meet them in the titan's curse it may seem they don't like each other much or atleast Artemis seems to not be paticularly fond of her brother. Calling him “irresponsible”, “lazy”, “big headed”. But reading between the lines reveals how much the two of them care for each other, especially on Apollo's part from all the illegal help he was dishing out to the questers.

But then when you read some more, their relationship just feels a tad too distant to completely take what they say as just banter. When we see them on Delos in Blood of Olympus the distance is literal. They're recycling banter that's getting old and you can tell that even if it had been lighthearted before, it’s definitely getting on both their nerves now (stolen from fsinger lmao). They’ve both been playing the part for a long time but it feels like they don’t have the closeness anymore to recognize they’re both just playing parts. 

So what happened?

I think it's their need to protect each other that's causing this rift between them. From my point of view Artemis & Apollo are protecting each other from different things but Olympus is at the core of it for the both of them.

The twins have a very different experience of Olympus. Since her introduction Artemis seems pretty critical of Olympus. According to the hunters she's the only one who can get the ball rolling during solstice meetings and she's shown to not really act the Olympian way. Taking the sky off the shoulders of a mortal girl. Shrinking herself down to make the human heroes feel more comfortable and demanding they get rewarded.

It wouldn't be far fetched to assume that she's never fit in with Olympus and doesn't agree with most of the views of her family.

Then there's Apollo.

Who fits in so perfectly with the messed up inner workings of Olympus or so people think. He's perfected his mask over the years and no one is the wiser about the abuse he's gone through or even the fact that this isn't actually who he is.

To me, Artemis wants to protect Apollo from Olympus' true nature. In her head she's got every part of Olympus figured out and for the most part she has. Even if it's not something that works for her I think she would want to protect her younger brother from knowing what the kind of people he surrounds himself with are truly like.

I feel like Artemis would be conflicted on it for other reasons too because if Apollo is aware of the kind of people the Olympians are and he's alright with that, what kind of god is Apollo?

So she'd much rather think of him as stupid and irresponsible cause those atleast mean that it isn't he isn't a bad person. But I feel deep down she doesn't really believe completely that what she knows of her brother is correct.

But then she sees the way Zeus loves Apollo and cares for him and in her mind it's the right decision to let him live this way. He is safer now than they ever were as children.

Apollo on the other hand wants to conceal their father's true nature from Artemis. We know that he cares deeply about appearing fine on the surface because of how others would worry and who would worry more than his older sister.

Artemis and Apollo may be the protectors of youth but the first ever youth they protected were each other. It's the foundation of their relationship and caries on into the present day. Both of them feel a desperate need to protect each other.

I would go so far as to say that this is THE relationship they have with each other. The both of them never find comfort in each other, only protection. You can tell that comfort is not something they usually derive from each other from the way they're both completely blindsided by simple things like an "I love you" , a hug and just concern in general.

Comfort from each other is not a priority for them no matter how much they crave it. The twins purpose to each other is to protect.

So of course Apollo would never tell Artemis about the way Zeus hurts him.

I also think there's a little bit of denial on Artemis' part on just how abusive Zeus is. Cause Apollo is dropping hints. Even the way Artemis talks during Blood of Olympus makes it clear that she understands Zeus is gonna massacre the guy. She just doesn't want to believe it will be permanent.

And it's got a lot to do with the fact that she wants to protect him. Because if she acknowledges this isn't a situation Apollo is gonna come out from unscathed that means that she's incapable of protecting him. That means that she's failed to protect him before and cannot protect him again.

So she'd much rather pretend that Zeus is persuadable and not that bad. That it's Apollo's fault Zeus comes down so hard on him and if he were a little better and a bit more like her he could be safe.

And this would hurt Apollo because Artemis can pinpoint exactly what Zeus is like. But instead of comforting him she confirms for him that this is his fault. That if he could be better none of this would happen. Artemis helps prevent but never helps heal because helping her brother heal means he was in a position to be hurt in the first place.

All this mess and miscommunication and disbelief stemming from the fact that they love each other and never want to see each other hurt creates an impossible distance between them.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel. Slowly but surely they're trying to comfort/ seek comfort instead of just protect each other.

I wept on my sister’s shoulder. I felt like if I let go of Artemis, I would fall back into Chaos. Huge parts of my identity would shake loose, and I would never be able to find all the puzzle pieces. “Whoa, there.” She patted my back awkwardly. “Okay, little fella. You’re all right now. You made it.”

Apollo's trials sucked. But I'm glad it's given the twins the opportunity to bridge the gap between their relationship again.

#trials of apollo #toa apollo #pjo apollo #pjo artemis #asks #thank you for reading #toa analysis #toa meta #tentatively #this has probably been reiterated a thousand times since the first book came out #oh well #longish #should add quotations when I'm freee #nice Argument how bout you back it up with a source🔪

[spookyquill]

The Thorns in My Soul are For You

Description: a Hanahaki Disease AU, Reader is in love with Dazai and has been for a long while. They were in the port mafia but they left with Dazai

Word Count: 2208

Part 3

Previous Part |

TW: Blood, mentions of sickness, coughing up stomach contents, hospital scene

~~

During the course of a few weeks, things turned from bad to worse. You had been keeping track of the news, seeing more and more vampire sightings along with updates of political meetings. You had to disguise yourself every time you stepped out in public, there were a couple close calls with police and other official authorities. You even had a few encounters with vampires. 

Everything had taken a toll on you, much earlier than you’d like to admit. A few nights had been spent crying yourself to sleep or not sleeping at was a more popular outcome. All the running and the emotional breakdowns were not helped at all by the disease growing in your lungs. In fact, it made the disease grow stronger, rendering you weaker by the day. 

Petals exploded on the ground, accompanied by their stems and fully grown flowers, soaked in your blood. Another painful cough hacked it’s way out of your system, ejecting even more fully bloomed flowers onto the floor. You’d have to leave this place within the next few hours if you were to escape authorities. Thankfully, you planned to leave within the next few moments. 

You were too weak to run, too loud to hide anymore. The inevitability of your capture was approaching. You stopped going out a few days ago, your stomach growled in hunger and your body longed for water. Everything in your body ached, your chest aching the worst of all. But despite all the pain, you would rather die than be caught by vampires or police. But you wanted to make one last stop before you were to die. 

You had travelled back to Yokohama, it had taken you a while, but you managed to sneak by everything. 

Throwing the hood over your head to better hide your identity, you ventured out of the rundown building you claimed as your final home. It wasn’t far from your destination, but it still took you 20 minutes to get to the cemetery. 

The leaves rustled in the wind, almost like they were excited to see you after months of no visits. You clambered up the stone steps, quietly approaching the one lone gravestone beneath a large tree. 

“Hi Odasaku. Long time no see.” Your voice was quiet, not by choice as you began to feel the itchiness of another coughing fit brewing. 

“Sorry I’ve been gone so long, I had to keep a low profile for a while. But now I’m here again. I can’t keep running anymore. The vines are digging in, even now as I’m standing here I can feel them growing deeper into my lungs.” You take a moment to breathe. “I don’t have long left, I’ll be seeing you personally soon. Maybe we can play chess again, I’ve gotten better since the last time we played. I’m sure I have a chance against you.”

Your mind begins to wander, flashbacks of the past coming to the forefront of your mind. 

Moments where Odasaku laughed with you as you swapped out Chuuyas wine for blackcurrant juice. Times where you took a stroll along the beach with him, catching up after a long mission away. You remember the training he gave you, where you first beat him after years of it. That was the only chance you had at beating him. Times where Dazai -

Dazai. 

You haven’t seen him in so long. Last you heard of him he had been captured by the hunting dogs and was being held in a highly secured prison. 

You weren’t going to get the chance to say goodbye to him. You’d never be able to tell him how you really felt, and you had no way to write it down either. You were going to die without saying anything to him or leaving him with anything. Or perhaps he thought you already were? Maybe he does think you’re dead. That’s why no one tried finding you and bringing you back. You’d leave no trace of yourself in this world. You’d be a memory for those who cared, which were limited. 

This spiral of thoughts caused your breathing to increase, triggering the violent reaction your lungs had been cooking up. 

You couldn’t breathe in. All you could do was cough and choke, barely a sound left you. Your vision blurred, red spotting the once grey slate in front of you. You collapsed on the ground, convulsing with each cough that forced its way out of you. Vines were spilling out your mouth, a few of them accompanied by thorns which shredded your throat. 

You were dying. Right now. 

Your final resting place would be that of your best friend. At least Dazai wouldn’t have to go to separate places to mourn. 

You laid on your back, giving in to the fact that breathing in was no longer an option. Instead you opted to wait out the seconds as your brain shut down. 

Everything hurt. But it wasn’t painful. It was… numb. Peaceful. 

Your eyes grew heavy, unable to stay open any longer. 

As you closed them, you saw a figure slide into your vision before it finally blacked out.  

~•~

Everything felt heavy. Your eyes, your hands, your chest, your mind. 

Were you alive? You had no idea, you couldn’t open your eyes or even feel anything. It was like you were submerged in water, forcing you into a senseless pit. 

But your ears were still working, sounds filtered through them. It took you a while but you finally managed to decipher them. A conversation was taking place near you, and you recognised their voices almost instantly.

“She nearly died, asshole!” Chuuya sounds furious. “You are one of the smartest people I know yet you were so fucking dumb to not open your fucking eyes! Dazai they could’ve died!” Dazai? He’s here? But what’s Chuuya talking about? “They stopped breathing. Their heart stopped beating! It’s a fucking miracle the doctors managed to bring them back, but they cannot do it a second time.”

“I thought I had more time.” Dazai sounded hurt, his voice soft. But despite that, he was closer to you then Chuuya was. “I thought I could wait until all this was over.”

“That isn’t how the disease works and you know it! It doesn’t wait for the right time, we’re lucky as hell that they managed to survive with it for so long!!” Chuuya was really mad. “They almost died! Is that the moment you were waiting for?!”

Silence subdued the moment before Dazai whispered his response. “No.”

“Did you think you could waltz up to their grave and confess to them? Hoping that would be enough?” 

Dazai didn’t respond to that. 

“You need to grow your fucking balls and answer the god damn question.” There was silence for a few seconds. “Do you love them?”

The air was suffocating now, suspension hanging on tightly within the room. You could hear your heart beating through your ears. The feeling of a heavy weight seemed to press into you, the suspension dragging on.

Until…

“I do. I love them.”

In the span of three seconds, everything happened.

You felt shock ripple through your system, practically vibrating your body. Your lungs ceased and seemed to convulse into itself, forcing you to splutter out thick liquid. But something was in the way. Your eyes remained closed as your body shook with each strangled cough you let out, blood and roses struggling to get past the intubation tube.

Voices shouted over you saying things that you couldn't quite catch, still muffled due to the shock. Hands were on your body, keeping you still as more were felt at your head.

It was so much. The hands, the tube, the coughing, the mixture of pain and relief. You lost consciousness again.

When you regained your awareness, your body felt lighter, at ease. For a moment, you thought you were dead. But you managed to open your eyes, noting how light they now felt.

White tiled walls. Machines accompanied by wires and tubes. Bed railing on one side. Everything seemed plain and simple for a hospital.

You took a few deep breaths-

Wait.

You breathed in again, air flowing freely within you. You could breathe clearly now. No more breathing through what felt like a blocked up vent. The flowers were no more!

Relief washed over you, a smile carving its way onto your face. You could almost cry.

The sound of slight shuffling startled you. Your gaze shifted to your left, only now taking into account the fact that you were sitting up slightly, bed raised to support you. Dazai rested his head on the bed, one arm being used as a pillow while his other hand held onto yours. 

You stared at your hands, his tightly gripped one against your slack one. His hand felt warm. At least warmer than yours. You could tell by the dark circles under his eyes and the sunken features of his face that he hadn’t been taking care of himself. His usual fit was swapped out for a loose fitting jumper, making him appear smaller, along with a pair of track pants. He looked so rugged and tired, different to his typical cheerful demeanour he danced around with. Even his hand looked more skeletal than it should be. 

Taking a slow breath, you tighten your grip, allowing your fingers to smoothly rest between his. It felt like the final pieces of the puzzle were coming together. 

Dazai twitched, startling you. You wanted to pull your hand away from his, but he stopped you.

Brown eyes opened, lazily looking at yours. You could practically see his brain processing everything. He suddenly sat up, eyes wide and mouth agape. 

“(Y/n)?” His voice was hoarse, most likely from having just woken up from his slumber.

“Dazai?” Your own voice was rough, but you chose to ignore it.

Dazai surged forward, swiftly removing his hand from yours, instead wrapping both his arms around you, bringing you into his chest.

You whimpered in his arms, overwhelmed by a rush of emotions. He is here, holding onto you for life. You encircle your arms around his waist, noting how skinny and fragile he felt compared to usual. 

Tears flowed down your cheeks silently, soaking into the beige jumper Dazai is wearing. 

“I’m so sorry (Y/n), I should’ve said something sooner. It’s my fault you ended up like this.”

For a moment you're confused. But then everything catches up to you. Wriggling out of his arms, you look up at him, his features dulled by malnutrition. Your hands come up to rest on his cheeks, thumbs gently stroking away his own tears that had flowed from his eyes. 

“It’s not your fault. I’m okay now. I’m here.” Dazai can only nod, more tears escaping. “Did you really mean what you said? About liking me?”

Dazai stares at you for a moment, his brown eyes flickering between yours. The next moment, his lips are on yours. They meld perfectly together, moving in sync with no rush in movement. 

“Fucking finally. Only took you three years to grow some balls.”

You detach from each other, turning to look at Chuuya. A smile spreads across your face. “Hi Chuuya.”

Chuuya scowls. “Don’t just ‘hi Chuuya’ me. You gave me the biggest fucking panic. Do you know how terrifying it is to watch your friend vomit and cough up their lungs and collapse in the middle of the street?!” You frown, leaning your head against Dazai’s chest. “Whatever. I’m glad you two are finally together after dancing around each other for so long.” He walks up to you and drops a plastic bag full of food at your feet. “Doctor says you need to eat to replenish your energy. Your body is still getting rid of the disease so it will take a couple of days to do so, and that means you need to keep up your food. Mackerel you need to eat as well. You look like a sack of bones.”

“Aww does chibi miss me?” Dazai quips back with a smile. It’s good to see their usual banter return. It feels like the entire dynamic between the three of you has returned after so long. 

Chuuya scoffs, but you don’t miss and quirk in his lips as he turns away. “Whatever. Just eat all the damn food.” He closes the door behind him, leaving you and Dazai alone once again. 

Dazai pulls away from you, grabbing the nearby chair to take his seat, but your hand on his arm stops him. He looks up at you. 

“Sit with me?” You say with a smile before shuffling across the bed, making room for Dazai. 

“Are you sure?” When you reply with a nod, he slowly climbs into the bed next to you, grabbing the bag of food before adjusting the bed angle so you two can comfortably lean back and eat. 

The next couple of days are spent like that. Sleeping together in the one bed, eating bags of food that Chuuya brings alongside the ADA, and talking about mundane topics. 

When you are finally discharged from the hospital, you and Dazai walk out the door, hands intertwined with each other. 

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #dazai osamu #dazai x reader #bsd dazai #dazai osamu x reader

[leajdh]

Gold rush

Chapter four: Ayo, fuck this. Are we dating? Are we fucking? Are we best friends? Are we something in between that? I wish we never fucked, and I mean that. But not really..

He was just a few more steps away from becoming a living legend. Already praised by the media as the honored one, he made a grave mistake which not only put his Ice Hockey career on hold, it disappointed even his most loyal fans so much so that his reputation sank to an all-time low.

Then he meets you; a retired figure skating champion who is now trying to find her purpose in life after her triumphs, all while still being loved and cherished by the media and public likewise.

Satoru Gojo sees his chance to not only get back unto the rink, but also to regain his former popularity.

But he soon realizes it will be a lot harder to get on your good side, because he's everything you despise combined into one person.

Will you give him a second chance and allow him to redeem himself, or is this going to be the match for your life time?

Gojo Satoru x reader (first person narrator)

Ice Hockey AU

FAKE DATING TROPE

Enemies to lovers

English isn't my first language, so expect some grammar errors

18+!!

LINK TO ALL CHAPTERS:

Against all odds, everything is going smoothly. 

It’s only been two days since the picture was posted on my instagram, so I shouldn’t crow too soon, but how can I not when the wildcard Satoru Gojo follows all my rules without any objections?

It’s just too good to be true, but it is true. 

At least for now.

We haven’t really started yet with creating a narrative. So far we just handled everything between each other. I sent him a list of rules that he agreed on and we both signed a contract. Our contract likewise our fake relationship needed an expiration date, so we came up with 21 days after his first game at the Stanley cup. 

With that we make sure that people don’t suspect us from faking the relationship. We also decided the reason why we will break up is the long distance, something like; My life and home is in Idaho and his life and career is in New York City. I know, not romantic at all, but realistic. 

Coming to my rules, they are simple but strict.

Satoru isn’t allowed to post anything without asking me beforehand (exceptions are campaign pictures and videos).

The reason for this rule is simple. I don’t trust Satoru to not post anything stupid that will ruin the narrative I’m going for. With the picture of his head on my thigh, he set a tone for our relationship from which I want to break away. Everything will be family friendly from now on. A lovestory Disney would want to cinematize.

This rule also includes no talking to the media unless his team (which I am part of) approves.

2. Decluttering his social media.

Initially I thought I had to do much more. Suguru told me after the crash Satorus PR-team deleted every party picture or video. It didn’t matter if alcohol was in the frame or not. All this is gone. However, I decluttered even more. Yesterday I started my research on the people Satoru follows. Without mercy I deleted everyone I thought wasn't good for his image to be associated with. The only problematic one I didn’t unfollow is one of his teammates. Toji Fushiguro. 

Apparently a welcome visitor at casinos and race tracks. Bad enough for me already, but the cherry on top are the allegations from older women that, before he became a pro ice hockey player, he used to scam them for money and housing. 

But I looked more into it and I would rather say these old hags did not really get scammed. More so they were his sugar mamas and now they are mad at him for leaving them. Hence there was never a criminal prosecution. 

The biggest problem with Satorus social media are all the girls he follows. 

With a lot of them, he publicly hooked up. All gorgeous women; either models, singers or actresses. I gulped at that and thought on how to handle it. My initial thought was to simply not do anything. Just let them follow each other. I don’t want to come across as the girlfriend who is super jealous and if the media figures out (which they will) that Satoru unfollowed all his former liaisons, it will be a headline and I will be the villain. 

But this issue clashes with another rule.

3. For the entirety of our fake relationship neither him nor me are allowed to engage in any romantic or sexual relationship with another person. Doesn’t matter if it is happening in real-life or just online. Nothing that can cause any fanfare.

Personally I do not think it will be a problem for me but I have less (a lot less) faith in Satoru. He is known for his playboy lifestyle, so I was generally surprised as he agreed so easily to this rule. Even as I wanted to include a paragraph in our contract that I am given the honor to cut his penis of if he cheats. 

Sadly Ichiji told me such a paragraph isn’t legally allowed. 

It would have definitely strengthened my trust. 

Back to rule 2. I therefore just unfollowed some of them. Some had been canceled before for actually serious stuff like internet scams or selling their fans overpriced junk. As soon as I saw a post with CODE: whateverhernameis20 I unfollowed. 

4. I created an excel list with amazing athletes, especially female ice hockey players for him to follow. As an athlete himself, he needs to be more supportive and generally show more interest in what is going on in the sports world. 

On different dates he will follow certain athletes so it doesn’t look suspicious that he randomly decides to follow a ton of them. Everything in nibbles. 

Saving his reputation is a climb not a shortcut. 

5. He attends AA meetings each week. For this rule I was given an annoyed snort from Satoru but he did not say anything after I looked daggers at him. I will drive him there and pick him up, no excuses. 

Five rules but the most important one isn’t for him. It is for myself. 

I need to try to trust him. 

Trusting someone isn’t easy, especially after everything he did to me. But I have to overcome my issues with him to make this work. 

In spite of everything, I want him to be loved by his fans again. I want the best for him.

Only when he succeeds will I be able to make peace with myself and move on. 

Every therapist would shake their head and rip out their hair at this statement but I never learned how to correctly get over things and move on. All I know are challenges and they made me move forward, so I will handle this my way. The way even Suguru thinks would suit me the best. 

Today I am late as I run down the tribune in my boots. Satoru is already training, skating sideways in zigzag lines as Mei Mei screams instructions at him. 

Stumbling down the stairs I notice Suguru, who’s intensely watching the training. With a huff I fall next to him on the bench. “Sorry, I’m late but I couldn’t find the pink stockings off the set. I hope white is fine too”, I breathe as I tie my white skates on. Suguru turns his head to the side and watches me, blinking a few times. 

As for today, we will take the first official photo of Satoru and I together. Essentially confirming our relationship. So far everything is just rumors, neither of us has confirmed anything. With this picture we will officially start the fake dating storyline.

“White’s his favorite color and it suits you, you look really pretty”, his eyes are glued to my face and he smiles. Before I have the chance to turn red, Mei Meis' scream startles me. 

“You’re late!” 

I look at her as she is now turned towards me. Apologetic, I put my hands up and Suguru snickers beside me.

“How did your ears survive her screaming all those years?”, Suguru asks me as I finish tying my skates. I put a hand behind my ear and joke: “What did you say?” 

He laughs lightly again and I am happy about his reaction. 

Standing up I stretch a bit before I go on the ice. Upon hearing no more skates scratching the ice, I look at the rink and see Satoru staring at me, which sends a shiver down my spine. 

Since the day I agreed on being his fake girlfriend I have had a hard time maintaining eye contact with him, hell, even being near him makes me unbelievably nervous. 

Worst of all, I can’t tell why. I should actually be more relaxed around him since we buried our conflict and work together now, but as soon as I feel his freaky blue eyes on me, I feel like a deer in the headlights. 

Suguru softly strokes his index finger over my hip bone. I quickly turn my head towards him.

“Hey, are you alright?”, he asks and looks at me with a frown. His glances never make me nervous. When he looks at me, it feels nice and warm. Meanwhile Satorus peeks make me feel vulnerable like he can see right through me. 

All flaws, all my thoughts, open for him to see and mock. His stare gives me a weird sense of self doubt. 

I shake the thought off. 

“Just feeling a bit fussy”, I sigh: “You know, this is all really weird.” 

“I know”, he grins: “but it will all work out, so no need to worry.” I wish I could be as much of an optimist as Suguru. He gets up too and I notice the significant height difference between us. Even with my skates on he is taller than me. Half a head shorter than Satoru, but Satorus is also freakishly tall. 

“You are going on the ice too?”, I point at  Sugurus' feet which are in skates. 

“Somebody has to take the pictures”, he responds. 

“Right”, I reply with a neutral smile but internally I am pouting and stomping my feet. 

This makes everything even harder. Playing all lovey-dovey with Satoru will be hard enough, but now having Suguru focus on all the details and probably giving pointers. 

I should have stayed in bed. 

We walk down to the rink entry. I throw the blade protectors to the side and step on the ice, gliding over it with ease. I stop next to Satoru, whose entire focus is on me. 

“Good to see you, princess. Looking like there was no pea under your mattress”, he grins and I twist my mouth in confusion. 

“The princess and the pea. Did your dad never read you fairytales?” 

He knows the answer to that, but he still likes to get a rise out of me. 

“I know the fairytale but your comment still makes no sense.”

He skates closer to me and I focus on his nose, so it at least looks like I am looking in his eyes. 

“It’s no fun explaining it.”

“No one is forcing you.”

“Well, maybe there was no pea under your mattress but you definitely stood up with the wrong foot.”

I roll my eyes and skate a bit backwards. 

“It is my way to say that you look well rested.”

“Thank you?”, I frown, unsure what well rested means. A weird compliment? A strange gag? Whatever it is, nothing about us screams boyfriend and girlfriend. 

“And you look well exhausted.”

His hair is flat on his scalp, single pieces of hair glued to his sweaty forehead. He has reddish cheeks and sweat drops travel down his neck to his covered collarbone. He breathes still a bit heavy, the hot air he puffs out turning white due to the temperature. 

I curse myself for finding him incredibly hot at this stage. 

Why does he have to look hot all the time? 

This is unnatural!

“I’ve been here since 7am while you probably had some sweet dream about me”, he grins again, well not again. He is grinning at me the entire time. 

“You mean about your sponsors. Burberry wants inclusive rights for my public outfits, making me an ambassador.”

“No need to thank me.”

“I am not thanking you, I will thank you once Dior comes through. Checked clothes do not really suit me.”

He chuckles: “Quite picky.” 

“Are you really surprised?”

“Not at all.”

I foolishly look in his eyes and feel that shiver again. Turning my head instantly, I gulp and look for Suguru. He’s talking with Mei Mei, both of them stepping on the ice as well. As they glide towards us, I feel strong arms slinging around my shoulders from behind, holding me into place so I do not slither away. Satoru places his sharp chin on my head and exhales. I’m as frozen as the ice under my feet. 

“I know women hate this more than anything, but smile. We are in love or have you forgotten?”

He is right, but how can I smile at him if I can't even look in his eyes. This is going to be a disaster. 

“You’re messing up my hair”, is all I can mutter.

He inhales and I feel his broad chest extend against my back. His body is a living heater in this cold hall. 

Warmth spreads through my entire body, especially in places I should not feel hot for him. 

“Nonsense, you look like an angel”, his chin moves from my head to my shoulder as he leans more forward, his arms still around me. 

“Have I ever told you how much your little skirts turn me on?”

My breath is stuck in my throat, even if I had something on my mind to return, I physically couldn’t.

“Well, have I?”

Why does he have to torture me? I shake my head, still unable to move much less talk. 

He huffs disappointed. “I would prefer if you used your words, but I will teach you another time.”

He instantly lets go of me and I can barely stand on my wobbly legs, only now noticing that he held me really secure. Before he skates past me towards Suguru and Mei Mei, who are only a few feet away now, he pinches my left butt cheek. 

“Now smile, we are in love, don’t forget it”, without giving me a second look, but I know he is grinning like the devil himself. 

I will kill him. 

“Are you ready?”, Mei Mei asks me. With a dry mouth and still in a state of shock I nod. 

I’m the furthest away from being ready. 

After what felt like hours, we still did not manage to take a good picture. We tried different poses, tried to fake spontaneous pictures and even left the rink to take some pictures on the tribune. I cross my arms over my chest and try to remain positive. Just one good picture and I can get away from him. 

Get a grip!

The worst thing is, Satoru is a natural talent. He looks perfect on every photo, while I look- “It looks like you just met a fan!”, Mei Mei tells me: “You know you can look at him, right?” Why does everyone have to torture me? As if this entire situation isn’t awkward and embarrassing enough. 

I sigh loudly and throw my hands up in frustration.  “I’m trying”, I mutter. I can’t even look in his eyes for a second, before turning my face away and becoming a nervous wreck. 

“Then stop with this customer-service-smile!”, Mei Mei spits back. She isn’t known for having patience. 

“I don’t know, each pose seems way too unnatural. I don’t like how the pictures turn out”, even if I had been able to look at Satoru all lovey-dovey, the pictures wouldn’t give me the vibe I want. 

“Usually you aren’t being that difficult”, she adds and I want to strangle her. 

Satoru says nothing, just leaning on the edge of the rink, waiting for instructions. He hasn’t tried anything funny, but his gaze never leaves me and I am too well aware of that. 

I shake the goosebumps off. 

“I just don’t like it…”, I mumble and Mei Meis nose flares. I can tell she is angry with my behavior. 

Before the situation can escalate, Suguru suggests: “How about we try it again tomorrow with a new approach? It has no value to try and force it now, besides Satoru has a massage appointment in thirty minutes.”

I don’t want another try, I want to get this over with, but Suguru is right, as always. Whatever block I have in my mind, it is my problem and I need to fix it. I chew on nothing and act as nonchalant as possible. 

“Okay fine, tomorrow.”, I hum and want to set off, just getting out of the rink and home. But Suguru stops me just as I am about to leave the ice. “Hey, just so you know, you did well. This”, he swirls his index finger in a circle “isn’t easy. It takes time to get used to each other.”

He is so nice. I sometimes hate him for it. 

“But Satoru and you will be a great team, I can feel it”, he cracks a crooked smile at me and I smile back.

“That’s the smile I wanted!”, Mei Mei screams over and I instantly lose it, looking back and forth between her and Suguru, whose smile turns softer. 

“I will see you tomorrow”, I step off the rink and wave good-bye to Mei Mei and ignore Satorus gaze again. 

I’m such a coward. 

With a groan I fall on the couch next to Utahime, who is eating soup and watches TV. She turns down the volume and pats my head. 

“From your reaction I guess it didn’t go well.”

I just groan more into the soft cushion of the couch.

“What happened? Do I need to kill him? You know I would do it.”

Utahime was against this entire fake relationship. She can’t stand Satoru, thinking the same things as me. He’s arrogant, self-centered and reckless. And his good looks do nothing for her. 

I wish I was immune to it too. 

“No, not he is the problem. I am!”, I flip over on my back and look up at her: “I get so uptight and irritable when I am around him. I don’t know how to explain it and it affects the photos.” 

She frowns.

“You know what this sounds like?”, then she gives me a small grin. “Stop, no, it isn’t like that at all.” And it really isn’t. 

The more I think about it, the more it is clear that everything is connected to the first day we met. Hell, we nearly had sex in my car and afterwards we wanted to blackmail each other. Not the best way to start a fake relationship, but I can’t tell her. Nobody knows about any of this and I am just glad no one asked how Satoru even got a picture of his head on my thigh. I’m a good liar but I have no tale for this one.

“So what is it then?” 

“I don’t know”, I sob in my hands. Hime just keeps on patting my hair. 

“You can always quit, right?” 

Another slight fabrication I told her, so she wouldn’t get too concerned. Contractually I’m bound to Satoru until our end date. 

“Yes, but I don’t want to”, I sigh: “I just need to get a grip.” Suguru is right, it takes time to adjust to the entire case. 

I managed tougher challenges. 

I can do it. 

“And rethink this entire photoshoot. It looked like we were high schoolers going to our first prom and my parents forced us to take pictures. Maybe we should just hire paparazzi, who take the first picture of us together on a date or whatever”, I sigh, frustrated with myself. 

She still pats my head and slurps her soup, just allowing me to let my mind figure out something on its own.

“Or maybe we should just let our PR teams make it official and never post a picture. No, that’s not good either”, I grunt some more and sit up. Instead of answering me, Hime just holds a full spoon under my nose, not saying a word. I put it in my mouth and eat. She knows me. I don’t want any advice, I just want to think out loud. 

In the end I know I will find a solution. I always do. 

And if not, I still have Suguru, who seems like the true mastermind of solutions. 

He will get me. 

I can count on him. 

I spend the rest of the day running errands and buying myself a new phone using one of  Satorus cards. 

He insisted on giving me one. Not just to buy a new phone (it was his fault I threw my old one against the wall, obviously), but also for other stuff I want. I told him I don’t want his money, which he didn’t understand. Why else would I have agreed on being his fake girlfriend?

I didn’t have the guts to tell him everything Suguru and I had discussed and my five reasons, so I told him I have my own reasoning and it actually isn’t his business. 

While I said that, I got nervous again and couldn’t look at him, crossing my arms to at least look a bit confident. 

However, as I mentioned before he can see right through me and I swear to God he stared me down without saying a single word, just to make me more nervous until I had no other choice than to grab the card out of his hand and declare defeat by accepting it. 

But this arrangement has nothing to do with money. I’m not buyable. I do this to grow as a person. 

And for a new phone (again, his fault I broke it). 

After that I will put his card away and never touch it again. I do not want to be in his debt in any kind of way. 

It is better if he owes me something, which he does. Just by me agreeing to help him, he is in my debt and I would like to keep it that way. 

If he is on the edge of messing up, I can guilt trip him. If he is even really capable of feeling guilt.

At least towards me. 

I still don’t get him. How he feels towards me is an enigma. 

Does he like me? Ha, good joke. No, why should he? All we did so far was playing with one another. He wants a fake relationship with me because I’m a goody two-shoes in the public eye, not particularly because he likes me. 

Does he hate me? Also no, I would say. I don’t hate him. If I was, I wouldn’t be able to do this and so would he. 

That’s why my guess is he accepts me but doesn’t particularly like nor dislike me. Just what I feel for him. 

Yeah, because whatever I feel automatically applies to him. 

Nevertheless what I definitely know is that I am on high alert around him and he fucking knows it and uses it against me. Again a game he plays with me. Something to keep him entertained. 

Maybe that’s what he feels towards me. He sees me as a little plaything to help him through the boring time in recovery. 

So much for trying to trust him. Not even in my own weird scenarios do I give him the benefit of the doubt that he isn’t a sadistic ass. 

Does he really need me to save his career or is it all a charade? 

I can’t get this bile of a thought out of my head. He talked too much about my father, who is the coach of his archenemy team. I have the eerie feeling it is all connected to him and Satoru is lying to me. Lying that it has nothing to do with my father. 

In the end I have to accept I’m not a special snowflake like Suguru made me seem like in our conversation. Satoru could have chosen hundreds of other girls with a similar reputation as mine without the ties to one of his archenemies. 

And again, so much for trying to trust him.

Trust takes time, especially after everything Satoru and I have been through. He probably doesn’t trust me either. 

Maybe in the long run I am in the wrong and Satoru has no interior motives, but as long as I am not a hundred percent certain, I will have my doubts. 

Keep your fake boyfriend close, but your enemy closer, and Satoru is both for me. 

After all I didn’t not hear the final whistle. The match is still on and so far we have the same score. 

I fall in my bed and set up my new phone, putting in my old sim card and working through all my notifications I got over the last few days. 

It is around 11pm when I suddenly get a text message. I was just looking through pinterest for some inspo pictures for tomorrow's photoshoot as a message pops up: Come over.

I instantly know it is Satorus number. Who else would want to talk to me? 

Suguru maybe, but he would word it differently, even better call me. 

No, I know it’s Satoru.

For a second I ask myself how he knows I have a new phone but he probably can see the debiting of his card on an app or something. 

Why?, I plainly wrote him back after a few minutes of contemplating.

I fucked up, I get back and my heart stops for a second. 

Fucked up? What? 

This could mean a thousand things. 

Satoru, what did you do?, I type faster than I have anticipated. 

We didn’t even announce our fake relationship and he already messed up! 

Fuck against all odds, I should have known a wildcard like him has no chance of bettering himself. 

I go from shocked to angry as he simply answers me: Just come over and I will explain.

He doesn’t need to repeat it another time. I am on my feet in an instant, changing into one of my training skirts and pulling my snow boots on to keep my legs warm. I’m in too much of a hassle to even think about putting tights on. I would only rip them. 

How could he manage to mess up already? 

I stomp outside and use my phone light to navigate to the resort. It is cold but my anger keeps me warm as I sprint up the stairs onto the third floor. From Utahime I already know Satoru stays in room 301 so I don’t even ask him over text as I knock softly on his door. I’m on the edge of kicking it in, however I don’t want to disturb Shoko, Suguru and Ichiji, who are staying on this floor too.  

After a few seconds Satoru opens the door and without an invitation I step in. 

“What did you do?”, I walked inside his room, leaning at a wall across his bed and twitching my right leg nervously, waiting for him to finally talk. 

But as always he takes his time, closing the door quietly and entering the room, sitting down on the edge of his bed with wide legs. His hair is damp. My guess is he must have showered a few minutes ago. He wears a compress shirt, which must have been a pain to put on after having freshly showered. 

I try to only conduct that thought. 

Not how unbelievable tight it fits around his muscles and flexes perfectly with every move he makes. Focusing on his pants doesn’t work either. 

He wears grey sweatpants. That’s all I have to say.

If I didn’t know any better, I would say he does it to get a rise out of me. Nothing but entertainment for him. 

I will not give him this victory. I cross my arms and for the first time in forever I manage to look in his eyes. 

Anger wins over nervosity. 

“I fucked up”, he just repeats what he told me over text. 

I roll my eyes. “For fucks sake, what did you do?”, I want an answer now. No more beating around the bushes. A clear answer.

“I fucked up by believing in you”, his eyes wander from my exposed thighs to my eyes, looking sharp and challenging in a way.

“Eh?”, I mutter and frown, being flabbergasted. He just leans back on his elbows and stares at me. My anger leaves and my confusion mixes with the overall nervosity I feel when I am with him. I instantly can’t keep up the eye contact and look elsewhere. My mind starts to race. I can’t think of a reason why he should not believe in me. 

I mean, yeah my doubts about him are good reasons but he doesn’t know about my inner thoughts. 

Right?

Yes, right. He is not a mindreader, even though when he looks at me in this certain way I feel like he is. 

I hate his piercing blue eyes. They freak me out so much. Of course I think he can read my mind. His type of eye color would be given to supernatural beings in movies. Beings able to read minds. 

He laughs deeply and cuts me instantly out of my thoughts. I dare to look at him again. His focus is still completely on me and I clasp my arms firmer around me to calm myself down. 

“I believed you would be able to pull this fake relationship off, but you can’t even look at me.”

He noticed. 

Of course he did.

Fuck. 

I take a deep breath and act nonchalant, giving him a skittish smile. 

“You called me over in the middle of the night to tell me that? Are you serious?”

“Yes, I am. So what’s your problem?”, he counters. 

“I have none”, I lie. 

“Lie”, he immediately fires back.

“I was just frustrated with the whole thing, like come on. The photos looked so fabricated in the worst way.” 

“Because they are”, he blurts and tilts his head to the side, analyzing me. God, I hate his glance on me. 

“Duh, Sherlock, but it shouldn’t look like it”, I huff and turn my head to the side. 

He holds himself more up from the bed and grins: “Well, and aren’t people in love supposed to be able to look at each other?” 

I have no answer for that. I’m caught in a dilemma, again. He knows exactly how to get me and he enjoys it. 

“So I will ask again, what’s your problem?”

He won’t let go of this theme until I answer him and too bad he seems to be able to read through all my lies. 

I contemplate on trying another lie or just sprint out of his room, which would probably be easier than feeding him another fabrication. 

However I can’t run away from him or lie my way through this fake relationship. 

In the end I agreed on our deal and talking openly about my struggles is hard and even embarrassing, especially in front of Satoru, but I would rather want him to see me as an emotional fool than a wimp. 

And I would be damned to be the one quitting this deal. 

Letting him win, no. 

Even when this shouldn’t be a competition, I can’t stop seeing everything between us as a spiel. Surely I need to accept the rules have changed and now we are playing as a unit and if I go against him, it will bite me in the ass as well. 

Granted, I still don’t trust him and probably never fully will, but I need to be able to communicate with him. 

“You”, I answer quickly and give him a side-eye. That’s all I can muster. 

“Me?”

“You”, I say again without a further explanation. 

“Care to elaborate”

Not really, but I have to. I lean against the wall and I am thankful for the dime light in this room. It’s just illuminated by the bedside lamp and the moonlight outside the window. 

“Just everything”, I let it slip out and finally decided to be honest: “in the matter of a few hours we went from wanting to blackmail each other to faking a relationship. We lied, argued and I threw your lunch at you. We nearly even-”, I stop but Satoru ends my sentence: “fucked.”

“Correct.”, I bite my lip: “And I could ignore all this and try my best to move on, but you keep looking at me in a way that makes my skin crawl.”

I wanted to add his teasing words and touches too, but then I would have to admit this affects me and for now telling him I have a problem with the way he looks at me is enough to confess. 

Small steps. 

“I look at you like I look at everyone else”, he sits straight on the bed and has his arms crossed too. I don’t believe him, but he’s more stubborn than me. If he doesn’t admit it on his own, he will never, even when I would call him out on his bullshit. 

If he doesn’t want to be honest, I will be dishonest too.

“Good, maybe I just have a general problem with your eyes.”

“My eyes are the problem now?”

“Yeah, your freaky blue eyes.”

He laughs deeply again and his white teeth beam in the light moonshine. 

“This is a first one. People normally find my eyes quite beautiful.”

They are. 

In a strange way. 

But I would never tell him.

His intensely colored eyes aren’t the actual problem. I know it, he knows it. It is the way he looks at me with them. It would freak me out with everyone, but his special eyes make it even harder on me. 

“Okay, got it”, he smoothly gets on his feet and walks over to a shelf. Rummaging in the dark through a section he pulls out a sweat headband. I watch him curiously as he slides it over his forehead and over his eyes.

“Problem solved.”

I start to laugh in disbelief.

“This doesn’t solve anything, Satoru. You can’t forever walk around blindfolded.”

He shakes his head and stands tall, looking in my direction. 

“Not forever, just until you are comfortable around me”, he says and for whatever reason he actually seems serious. 

“This is so stupid”, I mutter and get my full weight back on my legs, no longer leaning against the wall but my arms are still crossed and the frown never leaves my face. 

“Stupid is that my girlfriend can’t even look in my eyes without getting flustered.”

“I’m not getting flustered.”

“Sure”, he buzzes and I pucker my lips at that. 

He is right, but I would never tell him.

I hate it when he is right. Which he sadly often is. 

“Are you looking at me?”, he asks as he steps towards his bed with confidence and sits down again. Weirdly enough he is good at being blindfolded. 

“Right at your blindfold”, I answer and pronto earn a smirk from him. 

“Good girl, we are making progress.”

I snort at his comment and tap my foot on the floor. 

“What now?”, I ask and curse myself for getting a heat flush in my cheeks.

Satoru pats on the spot next to him on his bed. I do him the favor and sit down, his head immediately turning towards me as my weight dents the mattress. “Personally I would suggest that you let me fuck this issue out of your brain.”

I roll my eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, young lady.”

“How did you know?”, I look at the sweatband. It is a thick material that completely covers his eyes. No way he can see me.

“I just know you”, he grins from ear to ear. 

“Creep”, this comment even earned me a wider smile from him. 

“Yeah, your suggestion is not happening”, I quickly add before he continues his shenanigans. 

A big pout appears on his face, which gains him another eye roll from my side. For him to even suggest this out of funsies is moronic.

But what am I even expecting, he literally just blindfolded himself. 

Stupid.

Wait.

I sit next to him and look in his face without getting nervous. It works? Weirdly enough. 

God, I am pathetic. I’m really getting nervous from his stares. How did I ever win Gold medals when just his eyes make me uncomfortable? I had millions of eyes on me and it never bothered me. 

I need to get a grip. Now. 

“No, we will do something I never do when I am in bed with a woman”, he leans slightly forward into my space.

“Talk about ourselves and all this other stuff. That’s what you ladies like to do, right?”, another smirk.

“A creep and a sexist too”, this time I didn't roll my eyes. Satoru laughs heavily and lets his back fall flat onto the mattress. His arms over his head as he continues to chuckle with his shirt rolled up, exposing his lower stomach, which moves with his laughter. With all my willpower I maintain myself from looking more downwards. 

Damn, these grey sweatpants. They should be illegal. 

I would rather look into his eyes now than seeing this. This sight doesn’t just leave me nervous, it makes me think of the night in my car as I nearly said ‘fuck it’ and would have given in to him. 

Regret is a cruel thing, especially when I see how everything after that night has turned out. Nevertheless having sex with him wouldn’t have solved anything. 

Well, maybe I would be able to look into his eyes or let’s be real, I would be even more nervous around him. 

“What’s your favorite color?”, he asks out of nowhere. 

“Why?”, I ask instead. 

“We are supposed to be a couple and barely know about each other”, he extends his arm and snips with his finger against my forehead: “and hopefully knowing me will help you be more comfortable around me. We are in love after all.”

I rub the spot on my forehead he managed to brush and wonder again how he was able to do that with the blindfold on. After a while I answered him, telling him my favorite color. He tells me his too, but I already know it. Suguru mentioned it today. 

We start to talk. First about mundane things like favorite food and seasons, but we soon drift more down into past stories and our general life. Satoru lives in a penthouse on the Upper East Side, and as he told me the price for it, I nearly fainted. He has no siblings and comes from a family of real estate and financial moguls. They weren’t happy with his choice to become a professional Ice Hockey player but Satoru doesn’t care what they think. He never let them dictate his life. 

Unlike me who was put into skates the moment I learned to walk. I envy his carefree nature. The entire time we talked he was always positive, witty and completely pleased with himself, like he never regretted one thing in his life. He laughs at his own jokes before he even utters one word and he is quick with his remarks. 

He can keep up with me, which is something I appreciate in a person. Do I still think he is arrogant, self-centered and reckless? Yes, but I can see why. 

If I had his life and success I would probably behave the same way. You reap what you sow and Satoru was born to be a living victory. Our conversation made me understand him a tad more. 

After a while of talking, I lie down next to him, looking at the ceiling. 

“I’m sorry for being difficult. I thought it would be easier for me”, I confess and feel him move closer next to me. His head turns and even with the blindfold on I can feel his glare on me. Slowly he spins in my direction and opens his arms. Instead of giving him the hug he seems to ask for, I only frown. 

“Stop frowning and come here.”

How does he know?

With an annoyed sigh, he grabs my shoulder and pulls me to his chest, slinging his arms around me. I slightly yelp at his action but let him be as he starts to slide his hand up my back to my neck, gently rubbing circles with his thumb there. 

“It’s fine, don’t apologize. We are a team now, mate” 

“Mate?”, I grunt in disbelief. All that is left for him to do now is to give me a fist bump and hand me a can of beer before burping in my face.  

I can feel him smile into my hairline as he presses his lips against my forehead. Again, I let him. No protest, nothing. 

With him it is always against all odds.

“So what are we? We aren’t really dating, we sadly aren’t fucking and I bet you wouldn’t consider me your friend.”  

“We are-”, I pause for a good second and think. 

“We are something in between that.”

He groans lightly, dipping his nose in my hair. 

“Call me what you want, just not mate.”

As if he isn’t calling me princess every other sentence. 

“I like partner”, I add and gain another snort from him.

“What, are we a law firm?”, I push lightly against his chest, just now registering that we are really close as I particularly lie in his arms. 

“Okay, partner. I have one more question for you.”

“Mhm?”, I murmur, my eyes slightly closed as my hand stays flat on his pec. 

“Didn’t I tell you how much your little skirts turn me on?”, my breath hitches in my throat. 

“I-”, I start but never finish the sentence, heat glowing in my face. He leans down to hear me better. An act to make me more skittish. As if he doesn’t know exactly that I have no answer. 

“Don’t act coy, you knew exactly what you were doing when you decided to pull up in that outfit.” 

Did I? Maybe unconsciously. 

I try to press myself up, but he doesn’t let me go and crushes my body more into his chest. With a swift motion he rolls us to the side and hovers with his elbows next to my shoulders over me. His face inches away from mine, still with his blindfold on. The only reason I am able to look at him. 

“So let me ask you again, partner”, one of his arms travels down my side, stopping right at the end of my skirt. 

“Please let me fuck this issue out of your brain”, his fingers play with the hem of it, softly touching my skin. 

I don’t move, but my body isn’t frozen like it usually is when I am with him. This situation feels familiar, his fingers on my thighs feel familiar. It was like this when we were in my car. The same grip, the same warmth and the same rawness. I’m not sure if I can resist a second time. 

Thankfully my brain is smarter than my body. 

“This is a bad idea”, I whisper as his fingers move my skirt up my ass, exposing more of my skin. 

“It’s not, trust me. It will help both of us.”

I laugh breathlessly at his answer and stop his hand from moving in between my thighs. I love this fucking blindfold. It really helps to withstand him, but only if I keep looking at his face. Once I get his body in my sight, I will cave in.  

“How will it help you?”, I ask in a low tone. He doesn’t care about my hand holding his back from moving up. He slowly keeps going until he reaches the already soaked fabric of my panties. 

"Contractual I’m only allowed to fuck you”, he answers and it certainly isn’t written like this in our contract but in a way he is right. We aren’t allowed to have sexual contact with other people, but we can. 

I should have phrased it better. 

“and sex really helps with the enormous, gigantic, unbearing pain in my leg.”

What a charming idiot. 

Even in the dim light I see the feigned pout on his face and I would giggle at that if his fingers weren’t dipping slightly under my panties. Satoru doesn’t move his hand further in, he waits for my allowance. 

“Is that so?”, I roll my hips lightly, gaining a low hiss from him. 

“Yes.”, he snaps the hem of my panties against my skin, making me quiver. 

“Are you trying to guilt trip me?”, I blow into his ear, grazing his earlobe.

“Only if it works.”, he brushes his finger featherlight over my clothed pussy, securing a whiny moan from me.

“Where are the cameras? Want to film me a second time?”, I joke breathlessly, not able to tease him more.

“No cameras, just us. I’m serious.”, he presses his hand now on my abdomen, still waiting for my go. 

My go?

In a clear moment I realize what I’m just doing here and all my self-doubts come crashing down on me like an avalanche. I wriggle quickly back, but not entirely out of his hold. Hastily I shake my head and he can feel the movement. 

Something in his mimic switches. The playful pout is gone, making his face appear sharp and rough again. 

“Use your words”, he demands: “just say no and I will never try anything with you again, I promise.”

Instead of giving him a clear answer to his question I stutter: “What if you don’t like it?”

His forehead is immediately covered in wrinkles as he sits up, his hand appearing from under my skirt to now push down on my right hip. I know this expression so I continue to stammer an explanation: “We are on a good path, I don’t want to risk it by getting intimate.”

“I get that, but why should I not like it?” 

A logical question from his part, but a hard one to explain from my view. 

By being trimmed to be perfect all the time on ice, the urge to become excellent in every  other aspect of my life is present. Not only always looking put together, no, also always performing impeccably in everything I do. With that comes the weakness to care what other people think of me, as if to make sure my act is superb. Not only to the public, but also to people in my private life. I want to be considered perfect by them too. The fake relationship with Satoru wrench this well put together image I created of myself and it irks me. But I try to see it as a challenge to overcome it, not caring about what random people think of me. However this doesn’t apply to people I personally know. 

And I know Satoru. 

Knowing someone doesn’t instantly mean spending time with them. 

Heck, I am no virgin. I went to the Olympics. After the competitions are over, we celebrate with meaningless hook-ups. 

There is a reason the organizers put condoms in each room. 

But the keynote is meaningless. 

It was just one time and I have never seen them again. 

I didn’t have the need to perform in such a situation.

Do I still care that they thought I was good? Sure. 

But would I freak out if they thought I wasn’t? No.      

Because I certainly didn’t care at these moments. They were often quick and fun and over. A good time where I was able to finally let my guard down and enjoy being just me. 

I’m sure some of the guys didn’t even know in what segment I was competing, because I for sure didn’t know theres. In conclusion I never acted when it came to sex, because I only ever slept with a person one time. 

With that being said, with Satoru it would be different. We will spend time together. A lot of time. He knows me. Dismally the real me. 

I showed him my ugly side by being a competitive, stubborn bitch, who would have loved nothing more than to blackmail him out of my rink. 

The almost sex in my car was a performance. I wanted to trick him, so I performed in a way I knew he would like. I act and act and act to come across as perfect, but I can’t do this when it comes to real sex.

I never got complaints, but the self-doubt of not knowing for sure if I will be good, is eating me alive. I know I am good on ice, because I train my ass off. Every jump and figure gives objective points. I can count it and get a score, but intimacy is subjective. I don’t know what he likes or dislikes and even the thought of not knowing what he is thinking drives me nuts. Satoru is already an enigma to me, but bringing in the mystery of intimacy? 

No, thank you. 

Worse is, he is an expert in hook-ups. At least if I believe the tabloids. 

Screw that, I saw some of the conversations he had per DMs with some of his liaisons. He is an expert, unlike me. 

I can’t keep up this act with him. I am afraid I will slip and perform badly and this will ruin everything between us. 

In a god-awful form I would feel the need to be perfect for him, if we sleep together, because in my head he is perfect in this discipline. And now we are back at the core of all evil. My hatred for losing. Losing against him. 

What if I like it and I am certain I will but he doesn’t? I would never overcome this foul pain for failing. 

“I don’t know, it’s just a thought.”

When I’m with Satoru I mutate into an individual who’s unable to tell a good lie. 

And when it comes down to this theme, I can only try to lie. I would never tell him my real thoughts. Not with something that defines my character so harshly. Being perfect. 

“It’s a stupid thought”, he states and drops his knees to the ground, sitting in front of me, his upper body between my legs. 

I know it is a stupid thought, but it is still lingering in my mind, not going anywhere. 

“I promise I will love it.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“I can”, no hesitation in his answer. He truly believes it and this makes me even more insecure, even if he meant it to take my worries away. 

“How?”

His huge hands are sitting on my hips, engulfing my entire frame as he looks up at me, still wearing the blindfold over his eyes. As he leans more forward his broad chest parts my legs even more. 

“Because I actually like you.”

I can only roll my eyes at that statement. 

“Yeah right, I gave you so many reasons to like me.”

He cackles and presses his cheek on the inside of my thigh, his hands pulling me closer to the edge of the bed towards him. 

“Right, you did. You are an absolute cunt”, this bastard chuckles, slightly grazing his teeth along my soft skin. I don’t dare to breathe. 

“and that’s why I like you. The beloved, little ice princess for everyone but to me you are a treacherous, filthy wench, who likes nothing more than to see her opponents slowly decay on the ground, while standing winning over them. Fuck baby, we have so much in common. So please, I’m begging you, let me fuck this insecurity out of your brain.”

My jaw is stiff and jammed together. I should yell at him for the way he described me. 

But… indeed I give it to him, he is right about me. I’m not the pure Gold medalist I portrait myself to be.

Still his words don’t make any sense. Why would any person like me for being in his words a treacherous, filthy wench. Only psychos would find this real version better than the one I show off to the public. 

Well, I called him a psycho before, maybe he really is one.

No… I think?   

Eventually after going over his words over and over again, I have no other answer to this than: “Okay.”

And that is all he needs as he pulls me forward with such a force, my back falls flat on the bed. Even with the blindfold on, he knows exactly what he is doing. In a rush and equally eager motion he yanks my panties down my legs, not even being patient enough to completely pull them off my feet, as he arranges my legs on top of his shoulder. 

With a hunger I have never experienced with another person, he leaps his mouth unto my pussy. His flat tongue moves up from the hole to my clit, making me jolt.

“This is not-”, before I can continue, he slaps me firmly against my ass, making me choke on my sentence. 

“I decide how I will fuck your insecure, wet cunt, so shut up and enjoy.” 

I do as I’m told, but I can’t keep quiet for long. I moan his name, not caring about the others on this floor. Satoru isn’t bothered by this, he lets me be as loud as I want to be. 

Holding my hips tight, he is not letting me squirm away. Torture, everything is torture with him as he draws slow but steady circles with his tongue. I just know he likes to see me wince, even now when he is physically not able to do so with his blindfold. Feeling his devilish grin appear between my folds each time I whimper, makes me feel more and more like I’m losing. I talked about the debt I don’t want him to have over me. 

Well, that is now more apparent than ever before. I will never be able to repay him for this pleasure. I’m a hundred percent convinced.

“I already love it”, he declares before filling me up with two of his digits. I grab into his oh so soft and damp hair, wanting to feel him more. His fingers move in rhythm with his tongue. In and out, slowly like he wants me to suffer. Which I do.

He finds the right spot every time his fingers are back into me. I swear to God he knows it, by the way he can feel my inside starting to clamp around his insanely long fingers.

But he mocks, even ridicules me by not letting me come to my high. I’m so embarrassingly close to begging him. 

To please just let me cum. To please just let me finally lose, so I accept it sooner that I will be in his debt forever.  

Luckily he picks up his speed once I clasp my legs around his face, resting my heels on his hard shoulders. 

“So perfect for me”, he chuffs and every little insecurities in felt before melted right away at his words.

I won’t tell him I’m close, I just want to cum without him dragging it out over and over again. 

And he will if he knows. 

Yet, I’m not good at keeping my closeness hidden as I grind absolutely feral and needy against his tongue, shifting my hips hastily up and down. Just chasing my own peak, not caring for a second what Satoru thinks, oddly enough.

But I forgot he has done this rodeo more than enough to read a woman's body. Right as I can almost taste the pinnacle of my orgasm, he stops and bites harsh on my inner thigh. I jerk up, completely out of breath and mad. 

Oh, so mad. 

Before I have the chance to throw ruthless cusses at him, he softly kisses the spot and pushes my legs off him, tossing me downright to the side. He stands up towering over my frame on the bed. 

“What are you doing?”, I ask with teary eyes in between rapid breaths.  

“Did you forget? We are a team now and for our first play I want us to cum together.”

Still I don’t know how he knows exactly where which part of my body is, but he grab my jaw harshly and snickers: “I know how fucking much you love a fair game.”

His thick thumb presses against my lips and I let it in. A mistake. He pushes it down my tongue, trying to gag me by moving it more and more down my throat. First I can handle it, sucking on it. But Satoru is never satisfied, he always seems to take it to the extreme as he holds my throat with other hand in place, lightly choking me from the outside too. I bite down on it as I can’t take it anymore, finally being able to breathe again as I gasp for air. 

“If you ever do this when my cock is in it, you will regret it.”

Spit is traveling down my chin as I look up at him. His face is turned to mine and if he didn’t have the blindfold on his agonizing eyes would look right at me. 

“Want to give it a try?”, I counter in a challenging way and instantly hate myself for it. Satoru is unpredictable and I’m not in the state to deal with his dick down my throat when he is sullen. 

After a few long, gnawing seconds he smirks at me and I allow myself to fill my lungs with air again. 

“Another time gladly”, he just announces before stepping back and gripping the rim of his pants. Satoru hasn’t even seen my naked body, but I can see the rock hard outline on the fabric. I gulp.

“But for today I have already told you my plan.”

His pants are down and he’s not wearing boxers. I knew it from the almost sex in my car that he is huge, but seeing his cock so close in front of my very sight, I whiz down the bed. Satoru notices instantly and grabs my ankle. 

“Satoru, I will die”, I share my unfiltered thoughts with him. I know confessing this will feed his ego well, but I don’t care. 

“No one has ever died”, he wipes over his mouth, which glistens with my juice and uses it to pump his colossal cock with his other hand a few times and adds with a wide grin: “so far.”

It is way longer than the average, even with both my hands I wouldn’t be able to completely cover it. The head is soft pink which sticks out against his pale skin and is already dripping precum. His girth is massive and overall slightly curved to the left. Mother nature really has her favorites and she decided to bless Satoru more than everyone I have ever encountered. 

“Not funny”, I murmur with a dry mouth as he pulls me towards him again, leaning over me. 

“I thought you like challenges.”

“I’m serious.”, and I’m being serious.

He sighs as he slowly reaches out to my face and collects the drool I choked out before. Holding out his flat palm to me, he doesn’t even need to say a word for me to know what he wants me to do. I still hesitate. 

“Never took you as a quitter”, oh, this fucking asshole. 

He knows exactly how to rile me up.

I spit in his hand, drawing a little smile out of his focused face as he coats his length with it. 

With his range I will need all the help I can get, even when my pussy is right now more wet than she ever was. 

Casually he leans on top of me, upholds his own weight with his left arm, so he doesn’t crush me as his right hand aligns the tip of his cock with my hole. I stop squirming and let him gradually insert his tip in. I whine into his shoulder, biting down on his neck as my hands claw into his back. He gasps heavily and shows mercy by giving me a few seconds to accommodate the sensation. 

The only fucking plot twist is, I never truly accommodate to it. It feels like he is splitting me open, leaving me raw and wounded. Once he starts to roll his hips, I see stars and cry into the crook of his neck.

“Psht, my angel, trust me, it will be fine”, he holds my head in his large hand, wiping a tear off my cheek: “I was made for you and you were made for me.”

I can’t even register his lovely words as all my cells are entirely focused on his dick entering me. 

He stops the movement of his hips for a second to kiss my temple, before slowly starting to move again after I adjusted myself a bit. I feel more than full, ready to break into two. He is stretching me completely out. 

After what felt like forever, he is fully tucked in. At this intensity all I’m able to do is keep my mouth open and try to breathe so I’m not fainting. He was right, he can fuck the insecurity out of me, because my brain is not able to think in this state. Every cell is targeting what Satoru is doing to me. 

Gently he takes my hand and guides it down from my chest to my abdomen, letting me palm his bulge inside of me. I can sense it twitching and pulsating inside of me. I whimper.

“See, you didn’t die”, he tries to joke. I would like to think that he does this to smoothen my angst, but he probably means it in a tantalizing way. 

“Ready?”, he asks and the rational part of me screams No! but I want to, no, I need him to move. 

“Mhm”, I weep and wrap my legs around his waist, ready to let him in even deeper. 

“Good”, he quickly purrs and I should have known that he won’t hold back. Slipping out of me, he barges into me again in a rough and provoking manner. Completely out and back completely in. My entire body feels equally nothing and everything all at once. I’m wholly at his mercy as he picks up the speed, pulling one of my legs up his chest unto his shoulder to penetrate me even further. Babbling his name and incoherent words all together, he puts his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. I sink my teeth into his palm and grab the sheets, hoping my body will get used to it, but it never does. Unable to form a thought, just getting dumbfucked for what felt like hours.

Satoru doesn’t seem to be out of breath, while I get brain fog and grasp that not even my training for the Olympics made me feel this exhausted. 

But I don’t want this to stop, it’s painfully good and he hits the right stop each time, bringing me closer and closer but I try my best to suppress the coil forming in my insides that wants to finally be released. He wants us to cum together and he’s not there yet. My hands wander from his back to his chest under his compressed shirt, that clings even more to his body now with all the sweat and heat coating it. Once I touch his chest to caress his solid muscles and he starts to groan gravely into my ear, I can’t take it any more.

“Please, I can’t ‘ake it no more”, I sob: “Allow me to cum, please.”

He only chuckles intensely at my statement, letting his lower body crush more into mine as I feel the waves of mocking laughter.

“I said together”, he is stern again, making it clear that there is no way around. Right now I want to please him more than anything in this world, so I listen and be good.  

Picking up his pace again, I notice his thrusts getting sloppier, his groans becoming lower and sharper. 

“Now, angel. For me”, and I do as he says as he dives into me one last time, painting my walls with his warm cum. My eyes roll back into my head as I come undone. After a few seconds of breathing heavily with closed eyes I open them again and see him staring at me. 

No blindfold. 

How could I ever find those eyes scary?

“So beautiful”, at first I thought I said it outloud, but these are Satorus words.  

I push his sweaty hair back and kiss him. For what we just did, this kiss feels way too innocent, but it is the ideal ending. Shyly letting my fingers linger against his jaw, he kisses me a second time with more force but still nothing compared to the dirty kisses we shared in my car. Resting his forehead against mine, he pants lightly before giving me his usual wide flirtatious smile.

“Did it work?”

I still lie under his huge body, mouth slightly open and my mind too blown to register what he wants from me. 

I just let out a confused noise, which scored me one of his lighthearted grunts. He strokes his nose alongside mine, not breaking eye contact.

“Fucking your insecurities away?”

“Obviously”, I whisper, his eyes being the only things in my field of view. He hovers himself up and glides out of me, making me miss him immediately. 

I watch him putting his pants back on as I just lie there, unable to move. For a minute I am sure he broke something in me because I can’t maneuver my limbs. 

“No need to thank me”, he discloses with a wide smirk as he pulls my panties up and my skirt down to cover me. I’m actually glad that he isn’t cleaning me up or inviting me to take a bath in his room. I will do this on my own. The kisses were already on the edge of being too romantic. Can’t risk more.

“I wasn’t planning to”, I snap back, becoming defensive again as I lift myself up, feeling the soreness in my legs and core. As I manage to stand up with wobbly legs, Satoru watches me with a fat grin. 

“Will you be able to be on the ice tomorrow for the photos?” 

I glared daggers at him for this mischievous tone. 

“I had tougher challenges.”

“I should have really filmed this, just so I could repeat the part where you sobbed because you thought my dick would kill you.”

Asshole.

I show him my middle finger and step past him, concentrating on keeping my steps steady. I walk to the door and turn one last time around, seeing him leaning against a wall with his arms crossed. 

“This was a one time thing”, I declare, but not really believing myself either once I uttered it.

“Sure”, he replies with his mouth twitching slightly upwards. I know he is holding a simper back. 

“I’m serious.”

“And I said sure.”

I roll my eyes and open the door.

“No word to anyone”, I demand and slam the door behind me way too loudly for the time of the day. 

I hush down the stairs and stroll as fast as my aching legs allow me to home. His cum is already leaking out of me as I step under the shower. I regretted not fucking him in my car and now I wish I could say the regret I felt wasn’t worth it. I should regret sleeping with him, but I don’t. 

It was as good as winning feels like, at certain times even better. 

But I was right. It has to be a one time thing. He already cracked my body open, no need for him to get closer by doing the same to my mind. 

I let him in today. Not just in me, I mean my inner thoughts. I laid my self-doubts out like an open book while he still hasn’t shown me a bit of a vulnerable side. 

He gained the lead this night, but I’m on his heels. A second time I won’t let myself be so frail and delicate in front of him.

Never again.

The next day I wake up with throbbing legs and a raw feeling in my bottom line. I swallow two ibuprofen pills and wait for them to hit, so I can at least attempt to put my stockings on. I opt for a light grey set. No skirt, a leggings this time. I won’t be able to stand his teasing today. 

I arrive at the rink on time. Suguru is talking with Shoko as I step past them on the tribune. I wave them hello and they both smile at me before falling back into their conversation. I fall heavy on a seat and begin to loosen the ties of my skates, so I can get them on. The painkillers help but everything still feels tender and bruised. Satoru is on the ice already with Mei Mei. Once he notices me, he glides over the ice towards the tribune, ignoring Mei Meis fierce instructions. With his signature smile he walks over to me. 

“Hi”, he says before looking me up and down.

“Hi”, I mumble back, able to look into his eyes. 

“No skirt?”

“No skirt.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want a certain person to enjoy himself too much.”

He snickers and takes my skates out of my hands. 

“Can you walk?”

“No, I flew here”, I roll my eyes: “Of course I can.” barely

“Feisty today”, he catches my legs and gently guides my foot into the skates. He is so enamored in his actions that he doesn’t notice me gloom over his sudden affectionate side.   

“How are you?”, I ask him to break the silence as he ties my skate. He quickly looks up at me and tilts his head like he would have never imagined me asking him such a question.

“Good, but I’m pretty sure Mei Mei is actively trying to kill me with this training”, his hair is already sticky again from all the sweat and his pale cheeks are rosy. 

God, is he beautiful. 

I shake myself in disbelief after that thought. 

“But thanks to a certain person the pain in my leg is bearable”, he grins down as he slips me on my second skate.

“So, you and the certain person are even?”

He huffs and looks up at me after tying my second skate. 

“Not at all, I still expect a ‘thank you’ card and chocolates.” 

“Idiot”, I snarl, but end up smiling. He still kneels in front of me like he did yesterday, but this time it feels lighter, better. Like we made a huge step into the right direction for our deal to work. 

“By the way, you did great yesterday, partner”, he slaps my leg a couple of times.

I give him a dirty look and complain instantly: “You are so corny, it is unbelievable.”

Before he can counter something, probably something even more corny, Suguru shouts from a few feet away: “I got the photo!”

We turn our heads confused at his direction as he walks over to us with his phone. He shows us a picture he just took from us. Satoru with his hand on my lower leg, grinning up at me and me smiling down at him. 

A real smile. Filled with affection. 

“I like it”, Satoru states, getting back on his legs. Both men are now looking at me for approval. I nod, rambling: “it’s really good”, before Mei Mei screams at Satoru to go back on the ice and Suguru tells me he will send me the picture. I just nod again, ignoring what happens around me.

“Hey, are you alright?”, Suguru asks me this question way too often and whenever he does, I am never alright. 

The way I smiled at Satoru in this picture. 

Ayo I’m fucked. 

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #gojo satoru #enemies to lovers #figure skating #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo smut #gojo x y/n #ice hockey #satoru gojo

[xhoneygirlxx]

warnings: angst, no happy ending. heartbreak/end of a relationship. Eddie and Reader are 20+

minors plz go away, this account is 18+ only.

this is inspired by Nothings New by Rio Romeo, the same song that’s been stuck on repeat for the past couple of weeks. I hope you all enjoy this <3

*if you see spelling errors/bad writing, pretend it didn’t happen

—

You both knew it was coming, a thought in the back of your mind that constantly ate away at you until it finally came true. There’s a moment in life when you just know it’s not going to work out anymore, that no matter how much you love a person it all comes down to a spark and when that spark is gone, so is the relationship.

It’s like a sandcastle right on the shoreline, you wait with bated breath as the water inches closer and closer to your creation and there’s nothing you can do about it because you’ve built it on a bad foundation. It’s like a balloon, it can only fly so long before the helium seeps out, one day it’s high up in the sky and the next day it clings to the ground where it will stay before it eventually deflates.

You nor Eddie set out to end like this, no one gets into a relationship in the hopes it ends but somehow, you ended up right where you hoped you wouldn’t.

I love you’s weren’t shared as much anymore, sweet kisses turned into chaste pecks on the cheek, and the closeness you both craved was now despised. A long fall from the pedestal your relationship was once held upon, now it was just an obligation that felt torturous to even continue.

The dinner on the table is perfect, the kind you would find photographed in some kind of home and lifestyle magazine, but the two people consuming it are anything but. A date night that was supposed to be fun and exciting felt like a job, a requirement that both of you had signed on for that you just couldn’t get out of.

Eddie looks handsome as always, a sleek button up adorning his torso and unruly curls are tamed down by the products in the bathroom that both of you share. He cuts his steak with tattooed hands, the same silver rings he wore in high school decorate his digits as well as the one you bought him all those years ago when you first got together. You look at the thick black band, the engraved lettering of your initials that go across it, and you wonder if he only wears it out of habit- something he only wears on his right ring finger because he would feel unbalanced without it.

Despite the crowd that sits at neighboring tables, it’s quiet, and not the peaceful kind of silence most people would imagine. It’s the kind that happens after a car accident when dust and debris settle to ground, the sulfur from the airbags fill the air, and the ringing in your ears are too loud to hear through anything else.

You poke at your plate mindlessly as you continue to look at him, trying to piece together where it all went wrong and why the two of you have let it go this far. A bitter taste fills your mouth, one that can’t be washed down by the red wine that sits in your untouched glass, making a ball form in your throat.

As you look at the man across from you, you don’t see the person you’ve grown tired of but rather the boy you fell in love with all those years ago. Wide eyes and dimpled smile, rosy cheeks and shaky hands. Memories of shy banter and longing stares fill your head. Two young kids so full of love and adoration for one another now sit silently as they ignore one another’s presence.

Your heart squeezes, painfully twisting in a devastating way as it prepares for what’s going to happen. A tear escapes from your waterline and you don’t fight it. As much as you don’t want to be the dramatic girlfriend in the middle of a fancy restaurant you allow yourself to cry, mourning the death of a love story that started with two star cross teenagers that lost their way.

Although he isn’t looking at you Eddie can sense it, the beginning of the goodbye he’s tried desperately to avoid. He sets his fork and knife down, swallowing his food down as best as he can while his throat begins to choke up in unshed tears.

There’s a pause in his movements, a delay from looking into the eyes of the one he promised to love until his dying day. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, reaching his hand out across the table in search of your own. Fingers interlace, palms touching for the first time in a long time and for once you both feel it, the spark you used to feel when everything was fresh and new- only it doesn’t linger, it slowly blows out and fades away into the cold night air.

Big chocolate eyes meet yours, the tears that brim in his tear ducts match your own, the shared sadness for the future you will no longer share.

“This is it?” Eddie’s voice is small, like he’s straining in the hopes the sobs won’t break out.

You can’t stop it, the wobble of your pouted lip and the river that falls from your eyes. There’s no words you can say, none that will capture the amount of pain this brings to you, so instead you just nod your head.

Eddie isn’t any better, eyes closing with the hopes that this will all go away when he opens them once more. When he opens them back up he doesn’t find a different outcome but instead the blur of the fat tears that cloud his vision.

“You know I love you, right? I always have and always will love you Eddie, but this isn’t good for us anymore.” It’s like you’re pleading, begging for all of the misery to end for not just yourself but him too.

The subtle nod of his head tells you all you need to know, he agrees just as much as you that this isn’t going to work anymore, that this is killing him as much as it is you and if it continues this way it’ll only be a matter of time before this slow and painful death creeps up on you.

“I love you too, always have.” Eddie makes sure to look you in the eyes when he says it, like he wants you to know that everything that’s happened was never intentional.

You give his hand a squeeze, an acknowledgment to his statement, he squeezes right back.

This was the end, in the middle of a fancy restaurant where families, couples, and friends laugh and talk over warm meals, you and Eddie slowly cut the string that’s been keeping you tethered together for more than five years.

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