#but realizing i am not

[oliviawebsite]

(after misunderstanding what someone said and embarrassing myself) oh great now they hate me and want to kill me with rocks

#realizing im awful at comprehending speech and intention from other people #am i autistic or just a bad person who knows

[exoflash]

a concerning amount of witchblr will be like "um actually new years was stolen by europeans from the ancient god scroobus mcdoobus" and then you actually try to research scroobus mcdoobus and it turns out he was invented in the 1940s by a conspiracy theorist who powdered every meal with ketamine and thinks that queer people are reincarnated fish

#brightts ramblings #BEFORE I GET ATTACKED: THIS IS NOT AN ANTI-WITCH OR ANTI-PAGAN POST #im just literally begging witchblr and paganblr(?) to study history from proper sources #so you don't accidentally end up repeating misinfo or even outright bigoted info without realizing #you are not immune to propaganda! #this post is specifically ab new agey stuff like starseeds #but a lot of other stuff fits into this as well ie 'blessed be' #for further context i am not a witch or pagan myself but i DO study the occult/occult history #religion #spirituality #history

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[deboracabral]

come get ya juice

#Found families #lemons #enemies to lovers #mutual pining #Illustration #the tropes are hungry #I’m back on my bullshit friends #i hope people realize that the more demanding they sound on my notes the less likely i am to do the flavours they want

[spiderversegf]

i hope if nothing else i am remembered for being kind

#just realized this sounds vaguely concerning. i am safe & ok!!!! jus thinkin!!!!!! #🍜 #ok to rb

[songthursh]

Alright, I will start with this one then - everything starts with the glorious revolution and everything starts with the night watch 🌸

#discworld #terry pratchett #samuel vimes #havelock vetinari #vimes x vetinari #vetvimes #lord vetinari #glorious revolution #lilac #the night watch #night watch #Am I doing it right at all #AAAAA #I love this book I hate it so much #Blame my sweet gf for spoiling me with such amazing literature also #AND FOR MAKING ME GO THROUGH THESE BOOKS IT'S JUST... UGGGH #Also also it's not Carrot I swear he wasn't there also Vimes should've been armorless but I realized it a bit too late BUT THAT'S FINE #my art

[a-sketchy]

in commemoration of reload, here’s the full hamuko paintover from november

#my art #hamuko arisato #p3r #p3 #kotone shiomi #minako arisato #persona 3 reload #at a certain point i just realized i don’t really have the skills or motivation to finish it #i am not built for this kinda rendering at this stage in my artistic career #it’s just more time and effort and agony than i’m willing to spend rn yknow #but i’m proud of what i’ve done

[trashmancer]

Or: How I felt about that interview.

Anyway--Professor Gale Dekarios of Blackstaff Academy living his best, relaxed life 💖

#gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep #bg3 fanart #professor dekarios #i do not see it #i do not hear it #lmao i realize i am just reading the saltiest interpretation but lemme be grouchy

[bongwateriero]

finding out i’m blocked by someone is like … damn what could i possibly have done other than be extremely annoying…..

#inspired by me trying to reblog a post like 5 times #and only then realizing that no it’s not my internet connection. i am blocked ahjsksksk

[marisatomay]

I need to get drinks with him soooooo bad

#oliver stark I have been unfamiliar with your game but I am Realizing

[laviejaguardia]

personally victimized by this show's soundtrack choices

#mmine #the bear #the bear fx #sydcarmy #syd x carmy #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto #syd adamu #sydney x carmy #just..... syd asking for help for what's like the first ? time #and then that song kicks in ?? i am UNWELL #also realized a ship name could be bermu like the drink which just makes me laugh #i'm like 3ys late to the party ik i'm just a late bloomer #it's more like i got the invite and it sounded cool but i was busy with another stuff #and just now read it completely and realized it's something i love

[whollyjoly]

i want the whole SEASON of bucktommy

i want buck being wooed - flowers and being taken out and a little protective hand on the small of his back

i want to hear all the soft ways tommy can say evan and the look on buck's face when he does

i want to see them at tommy's karaoke trivia place because holy shit buck would love it (and didnt oliver say that we're getting buck singing this season cause uhhhhh)

i love that this is such a fling, such a happy thing for buck - he is finally feeling that puzzle piece click into place and it is freeing

and i cant wait to see all the small ways we see that play out!!!

let buck be happy challenge 2k24!!!!

#i'll never shut up about this i fear #i am just SO happy to see a happy bi!buck exploring what his feelings mean!! #just getting to be!! and grow!! and flirt and have FUN!!! #god that euphoria when you realize that its okay that you dont have to choose you can just *be* #its so fucking real and i cant believe i get to see it through the eyes of my favorite character #is this?? real life?? #fuck me up man #otp: better ways to get your attention #bucktommy #kinkley #tuck #? #evan buckley #tommy kinard #911 spoilers #911 abc #911 on abc #im just so fucking shook i cant believe it #its REAL #em speaks #mine

[softd0m-charlie]

don't get me wrong, i absolutely love the feeling of power and control and dominance in kink stuff, but one of my absolute favorite things is just feeling so needy and desperate around another person who's equally as needy and desperate for you.

i get the appeal of being all pathetic and whiny around someone more dominant than you, being at the mercy of whatever they'd decide to do to you or what they'd make you do to them, sure. and i absolutely love putting someone else in that position.

but it's so hot when we're both pathetic little needy messes for each other at the same time. both of us whimpering things to each other like "you're so fucking hot," and "oh my god i need you so bad, please," while we're rutting against each other and panting and drooling and whining, desperately trying to get any amount of friction or stimulation while at the same time trying so so hard to make sure the other person feels good too. eventually making each other cum over and over until our brains are too fuzzy and our bodies are too shaky and spent to possibly keep going anymore, sweat and slick and cum dripping down both of us and soaking into the sheets.

no coherent power dynamic between us in that moment, just the foggy-headed, brainless, primal need for pleasure and the intense desire to give that person pleasure, too. nothing else can ever feel better to me than the raw need and lust and passion and desperation that comes out of both of you being so so whiny and pathetic for each other like that.

#is this too niche #am i being too vanilla this time #idc #i ❤️ completely brainless primal desperate needy sex #jesus i did not realize i wrote that much goddamn #ftm nsft #t4t nsft #ftm dom #ftm top #ftm t4t #trans nsft #nsft t4t #t4t mlm #ftm sub #ftm bottom #nsft ftm #ftm switch #ftm ns/fw #mlm t4t #t4t bottom #t4t sub #t4t ns/fw #transmasc t4t #sub4sub #sub top #trans sub

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lap Pillow

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Confessions of a missed opportunity: I almost had LWJ in purple for this comic. #WWX gives him one of his layers to wear and it's never specified what colour it is. #We all love the red inner robe from CQL (And other illustrations) but sit with me for a moment. Think about LWJ in Jiang Purple. #Right now. Close your eyes and give it 5-10 seconds of rotation in your brain. #Welcome back. It's beautiful isn't it. As I write these notes I am upset that I backed out of going through with it. #I think I will simply have to draw it another time. If we get gusu lan white wwx we *need* yunmeng jiang purple lwj! #Anyways; this comic is the pinnacle of teen wangji's bursting-at-the-seams-emotionality that I love him for. #For my sanity I need that teen losing his mind and following bird rules (get fluffy - get blushy - keep beeping) #He is a loser nerd with a begrudging crush on a boy that he doesn't know how to be normal about. #LWJ seems like your typical 'cool guy love interest' until you realize that he's actually kind of soggy and pathetic. #My favourite lan wangji trait is that he's funny as all hell. I feel like wwx a bit because I had a character epiphany when I realized this

[turtlespancake]

i love seeing out of context posts about long-running stories with deep lore because it's always shit like "MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!! i can't believe that the metallic athenaeum's envoy actually used never-ending dance of the 57th universe on rionne as if she's not LITERALLY the incarnate of august?!?!" it's like buddy boy thank you for the spoiler tag but all of those words are incomprehensible without at least 5 years of foreshadowed knowledge, 7 different fan theories, and 21 wiki entries

#rambling #this post was about 3 different fandoms #number 1 was my friend trying to explain to me what was happening to dazai bungo stray dogs (i have not seen bungo stray dogs) #number 2 was ominscient reader viewpoint. anything tagged MAJOR SPOILERS for orv is either completely incomprehensible or like. #an image of someone interacting with a book. and somehow BOTH manage to be emotionally devastating in context #number 3 was me trying to explain genshin lore to a friend and realizing i sounded deranged saying shit like #“after the primoridal one fought the second who came celestia used nails to supposedly heal the land but enkanomiya still sank rip” #how did the wot fandom find this i am a gaming blog mostly..

[silvermoon424]

I'm so fucking sick of amatonormativity dude. Someone on Reddit left a comment that was basically like "the majority of people need a romantic relationship to be happy, it's how we're wired" and I responded saying that I disagreed and that more and more people (especially women) are finding fulfillment in other relationships and are happy being single.

I got heavily downvoted.

Of course most people like being in a committed relationship, but you don't have to be aromantic or asexual to enjoy being single. Maybe more people would like being single if we as a culture stopped pushing the narrative (especially on women) that being single is lonely, horrible, and depressing and that you need a romantic partner to be a complete person.

#amatonormativity is so insidious and prevalent and most people don't even realize they've fallen for the propaganda #like of course having a life partner is very important to a lot of people #but can we PLEASE stop acting like almost everyone is 'wired' for a monogamous romantic/sexual relationship #and people always fall back on 'well humans are social creatures we need to have relationships' #bitch I have my friends and family and colleagues what relationships am I lacking #amatonormativity #aromantic #aromantism #arospec #aspec #asexual #aroace #aphobia #1k