#but seriously every single time someone agrees with one of my reblogs about them I am so proud I got it right | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

onebigfangirlworld · 1 year

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I posted 17,720 times in 2022

That's 2,123 more posts than 2021!

194 posts created (1%)

17,526 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hotsaucebear

@lewissgeorge

@grazieseb

@do-you-have-a-flag

@thefaggifier

I tagged 487 of my posts in 2022

#rambles of one - 160 posts

#top gun maverick - 34 posts

#formula 1 - 31 posts

#daniel ricciardo - 22 posts

#top gun - 17 posts

#lewis hamilton - 17 posts

#reblog - 15 posts

#crochet - 15 posts

#mick schumacher - 13 posts

#derrygirlsweek - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 130 characters

#the other guards and o have agreed that we’re just gonna start dumping buckets of ice into the pool anytime someone says it’s cold

My Top Posts in 2022:

Family Dinner

Summary: It’s Sunday night which means time for family dinner for Maverick, Iceman, Reader and the dagger squadron

Relationship: IceMav x daughter!Reader, Bradley Bradshaw x sister!reader

Warnings: none

word count: 2097

A/N: This is my attempt at a sequel to On the Outside Looking In, you don’t have to read it to know what is going on but it would help, not beta read

“I’m sorry, what’d you say?” Y/N pulled one of ear buds out. She had been sitting at the kitchen table, working on her homework while her dads made dinner. The dagger squadron was coming over for Sunday dinner, and her dad’s were cooking. Y/N has been working on getting to know the squadron and expressing her feelings instead of keeping in. She was also trying to get to know all the new siblings she had. So far, Y/n was closest to Fritz, which made Bradley a little jealous as he was used to being Y/N’s favorite.

“I said, can you help set the table, everyone’s gonna be arriving soon,” Maverick repeated himself, as he pulled a dish out of the oven.

“Oh yeah, sure. Do you mind if i put my things in your office,Pops? I’ll get them after dinner.”

“Sure pumpkin. Just no snooping through the papers on the desk,” ice told his daughter.

“I know. Jeez its like I havent been living with the two of you for the past 20 years,” Y/n teased as she put her things in the office. “So whats for dinner tonight?”

“Jeez, its like you should know, you’ve been sitting at the kitchen table while we’ve been making it,” Maverick responded.

Y/N grabbed the plates from her pop’s hands and moved toward the table she had just been occupying. “Hahaha your so funny. Should’ve been a comedian instead of a pilot.”

“Y’know, maybe I will do that once I retire.”

“Seriously Dad? You retiring? That’ll happen the day pigs fly and hell freezes over.”

Ice chuckled at his family. He was happy that Maverick had been, albeit not willingly, promoted to rear admiral, had accepted that position as squadron commander of the Dagger Squadron and would be around more permanently. Bradley was also back home now. He could tell the Y/N was happy about the promotion, and Bradley being home, as well. Granted, neither of them had realized that with the promotion and new squadron, Maverick would be taking in 11 stray Naval aviators. There had been a few hiccups at the start, with Y/N feeling left out of the family, but they had pushed through that.

“Back to your earlier question pumpkin,” Ice interrupted his husband and daughter’s conversations, “we’re having lasagna, salad, garlic bread and the cake that you made. Can you move the bread basket and salad bowl over to the table please?”

“That just sounds like carb overload at this point. Are you trying to put them into a food coma so that they can’t fly tomorrow? Is this your secret plan to have one day off?” Y/N asks. The doorbell rings and she moves to go answer it.

“Maybe but don’t tell any of them!” Maverick called after her. “And tell them that they can just walk into the house! They don’t have to knock every single time!”

“I will!” Y/N calls back. “Hey guys, come on in!”

Y/N moves out of the way and allows Harvard, Yale, and Fritz to enter the home.

“By the way, Dad wants me to remind yall that you don’t have to knock or ring the doorbell, you can just walk right in. Where’s everyone else?”

“They should be right behind us. We all left at the same time,” Fritz tells her. She gives him a quick hug and lets all of them into the house. “So how have all of you been?”

“Just trying to survive training with Maverick. I mean how is he so good at his age?” Yale responds. They all walk into the kitchen to help finish setting up the diner table. Everyone greets each other.

“Dad fought for a long time to keep his wings. It’s why he’s only just now a rear admiral, kept turning them down to keep flying,” she puts one of the salad bowls on the table, “I’ve been in the backseat, while he flew and I don't think I’ve ever been more scared. He is fearless and I can’t imagine training with him.”

“Oh, did he also get you up in an f-18? I heard he did with penny too,” says Harvard. The front door opens and closes.

“I would’ve ground his ass faster than he could say F-18,” Iceman says.

“Who's getting grounded?” a voice asks. Everyone turns and there stands Hangman, bob, Phoenix and Coyote. They all greet everyone.

“Me, if I took Y/N up in an F-18. I never did but I have thought about it,” Maverick tells the group. “Where’s everyone else?”

“They were pulling up as we were walking in, so should be in any-” Phoenix starts but is interrupted by the front door opening and closing.

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199 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

On the Outside looking in (p.2)

Summary: It’s been 17 years since Bradley left but he’s back now and he’s brought the newly formed dagger squadron with him. But Y/n is starting to feel left out

Relationship: IceMav x Daughter!Reader, Bradley Bradshaw xx sister!reader

Warnings: a lot of angst

word count: 2,474

A/N: Here it is the final part. I tried to make this as angsty as possible

Tag: @luckyladycreator2 @daughterofthereaper02 @shakespear-picaso-lovechild

Part 1

To Iceman and Maverick, 17 years passed by in a blur. They watched their little girl grow up right before their eyes into a strong, confident young lady. Y/N was 21 now and was working her way through college. She continued to live at home with her fathers, while attending a community college. They watched her go through kindergarten to middle school to high school, through friends, phases and boyfriends. In turn Y/N watched her papa rise through the ranks. All the way up to Commander of the Pacific fleet, while her Dad stayed a captain. She was by their side when DADT got overturned, thanks to her fathers, and was standing right next to them when they got married. She was there when her papa got throat cancer. She remembers doing her homework, while he went through chemotherapy. She was always proud of them and happy to be able to call them her fathers. But all three of them always felt like something, or rather, someone was missing.

Iceman kept tabs on Bradley. He always knew where he was and how he was progressing through his Navy career. Iceman updated Maverick about Bradley all the time, and informed him that Bradley was still able to follow his dreams of becoming a Naval Aviator, even though Maverick had pulled Bradley’s application to the Naval Academy with Iceman’s help.

However, Iceman was a known puppet master, and had concocted a plan to get Bradley and Maverick back in the same place and to get them talking. He only hoped that the actual mission and the side mission would both be a success.

The uranium plant mission had been a success. Everyone had returned home safely and alive. Of course there were a few hiccups along the way but everything had worked out in the end. Iceman’s side mission of getting Bradley and Maverick to reunite and talk also worked.

Bradley was now home, permanently. With Iceman setting up the Dagger Squad as a permanent squadron, Iceman and Maverick found that they now had 13 children. They went from one to thirteen in a short amount of time. However, there was trouble brewing.

Y/N didn’t know if her fathers actively knew what they were doing or not. With Bradley returning, and all these new aviators that her fathers decided to adopt, Y/N felt like she was being pushed aside. She felt like she was being replaced.

It had started off small. Some nights, some of the aviators might join them for dinner, or family dinners were cut short by Maverick running off saying that someone needed him for something. Then it soon became plans that Y/N had set with her fathers were getting canceled so they could go hang with the Dagger Squadron. Y/N could slowly feel herself being pushed out of the family. She was happy for her fathers. They finally had Bradley back and more kids that they could relate to but it hurt.

Anytime she was asked how she felt, Y/N would put on a brave face, give the person that asked a smile, and tell them that she was fine. If her fathers were happy, she was happy, even if it hurt her.

But Bradley could tell that something was wrong. He always knew. Even if he hadn’t seen or talked to Y/N in years, he knew her too well sometimes. The smile would never quite fully reach her eyes, when everyone was over. She would always look just slightly annoyed with everyone. He tried talking to her about it. Multiple times. The first time was when they had a giant discussion about everything that had occured over the 17 years that Bradley had missed. Even though Y/N had sent him letters, he had thrown them out, still too angry to even read them. He regrets that decision.

Y/N continued keeping her feelings to herself.

“If my fathers are happy then I am happy.” She repeated over and over to herself. It became her little mantra. It wasn’t healthy for her but she didn’t care.

“Why don’t you try sitting down with us and having an actual conversation to get to know everyone?” Bradley had asked Y/N one night, when all 12 aviators were over. When Y/N saw that , she ran straight to her room, too tired to deal with the boundless energy they all had, even though they were all older than her.

“I’ve tried that Bradley. But all you guys talk about is flying,” Y/n responded.

“No we don't. We talk about other stuff.”

“Fine. All you talk about is flying and then inside jokes. Which I don’t understand. It’s hard to be involved in a conversation when you don’t actually know what's going on. I mean, why sit there and not understand a single thing that’s being said, when I can easily just sit in my room and do my own thing. Besides, it's not like anybody notices if I’m there or not.”

“What do you mean by that, squirt?” Squirt. The nickname that Bradley had given Y/N before he left. It had been a long time since anyone had called her that.

“It doesn't matter.” Y/N sighed. “Just go back downstairs. They're probably wondering where you're at.”

Bradley started heading towards the door to leave. “They’re wondering where your at too, y’know?” He walked out of Y/N’s bedroom and went to join the others.

“No, they aren’t,” Y/N whispered to herself. She went back to doing her homework.

Y/N kept her mouth shut about her feelings, and continued telling everyone that she was fine and happy with all the new siblings.

Soon, Y/N couldn't keep her feelings locked away anymore and she would let them all out.

It all happened one evening. Y/N had been gone since 7 am, rushing to her classes for the day and then off to the diner she was a waitress at. It wa nearing 10 pm and Y/N just wanted to go straight to her room and stariaght to bed. She was exhausted.

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229 notes - Posted September 21, 2022

Peace and Quiet

Summary: Your exhausted but you also want to spend some time with your boys

Relationship: Bob x Rooster x Hangman x gn!reader

Warnings: none, this is just a lot of fluff

Word Count: 598

A/N: I havent written a fic since like 2018/2019 so please be nice to me. This is heavily insired by @daughterofthereaper02 and her work. I don’t own these characters and please don’t steal my work

You didn’t know who or what to blame for your exhaustion. You could blame the full moon that was happening tonight. You could blame the fact that all the students in your classes today were rambunctious and couldn’t sit still. You could blame the fact that you were up late unpacking box after box, trying to get moved into your new home with your boyfriends. You tried to find a reason for your exhaustion but there were just too many to count. Even though you could feel the exhaustion sitting in your bones, you still joined your boyfriends out for a night at The Hard Deck. Having not seen them, in what felt like weeks due to busy schedules, you’d take any chance to see them.

“You doin’ alright, sugar?” Jake asked you. The two of you had been playing pool against each other but you were struggling. Jake had noticed pretty quickly. So had Bradley and so had Bob. The three of them always seemed to notice when something was wrong.

“Yeah,” you give him a soft smile, “but I think I’m gonna get another drink. Can you step in for me Bradley, please?”

“Of course, darling,” he pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek, and you passed the pool cue off to him. You stopped by Bob, sitting on a bar stool watching the pool table and having a conversation with Phoenix, and asked if he or Phoenix needed anything. You got their drink orders, and a refill of peanuts for Bob, before making your way over to the bar.

Returning to the pool area you pass off the drinks to everyone, before slotting yourself between Bob’s legs, his arms wrapped around your waist, as he continues his conversation with Phoenix. Your back presses against his chest, as you feel yourself relax into his embrace.

“You alright there, sweetheart?” he mumbles quietly in your ear.

“Yeah. Just tired that’s all,” you respond before stealing some peanuts out of the cup in front of you. He nods his head in response and gives you a quick kiss on the side of your head before returning to the conversation. You closed your eyes, laid your head back on his shoulder, let out a deep sigh and relaxed even more into Bob’s arms.

Bradley nudged Jake’s ribs, stopping him from lining up the shot he was just about to take.

“What-” Jake started saying before Bradley cut him off and pointed towards Bob and you. Both you and Bob were enjoying the quietness of each other’s company. The two men smiled at the two of you fondly. They wished they could freeze the moment and stay there forever. It was as close to perfect as they could get right now.

Bradley and Jake were finishing up round two of their pool game, when Bob got their attention. He jerked his head towards the door, a subtle hint, asking if they were ready to go. You were practically falling asleep in Bob’s arms and the boys all agreed it was time to go home.

“You ready to go sweetheart?” Bob softly asked. You opened your eyes and saw your boys all staring at you. You nodded your head and moved out of Bob’s arms. Jake wrapped his arms around your shoulders and led you out the front door, with Bradley and Bob following behind you. As you walked to the car, you felt Jake give you a gentle kiss on your forehead. You gave him a soft smile. You were very happy and content and ready to go to bed.

233 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

On the Outside looking in (p.1)

Summary: Tom “Iceman” Kazansky and Pete “Maverick” Mitchell love both their kids but sometimes one gets pushed to the side

Relationship: IceMav x daughter!Reader

Warnings: none that I can think but if there is some just let me know

word count: 433

A/N: This is part one just to set up for everything that happens in part 2 and also i wanted to get this out for everyone. This is also posted over on my AO3 account

Edit here is part 2

Tom “Iceman” Kazansky. Pete “Maverick” Mitchell. Wingman, husbands, and great fathers to Bradley and their daughter, Y/N. Bradley came into Maverick and Iceman’s care, when he was 10 years old, after his mother had passed away from breast cancer. 5 years later, little Y/N, who was only a year old at the time, came into their care after her mother, Sarah, who was Ice’s sister, and Y/N’s dad passed away in a freak car accident.

They did the best they could at raising Bradley and Y/N. Sometimes it was difficult, since there was a 14 year age gap between the two of them but they made it work. Bradley adored Y/N and Y/N adored Bradley. Even though there was a 14 year age gap, they were as close as siblings could be.

That all changed when Y/N was 4, and Bradley was 18.

All Y/N could remember from that night was loud voices, yelling from downstairs, slamming doors and then quiet. She crept out of her room towards the stairwell that overlooked the living room. She watched as her two fathers silently hugged each other. She could hear sniffling, and they were talking in hushed whispers.

“Dada? Papa?” Her soft voice cried out. Both men turned to look up at their daughter. Mavericks eyes were red and puffy. He quickly wiped his cheeks

“Y/N. Pumpkin you should be in bed,” Iceman, her papa, called up to her.

“Couldn’t sleep. Too loud. Where Bradley?” She replied.

Maverick and Iceman looked at each other, wondering what to tell their daughter. A few moments passed, silently. A silent conversation happened between the two wingmen. At last they had come to a decision. Iceman turned and made his way up the stairs towards his daughter. Maverick moved out of the living room and to his and Ice’s shared bedroom.

“Where Bradly?” Y/N asked again, as her papa picked her up and carried her back to her room. “Why Dada sad? Are you sad?”

“Bradley had to leave. He and Dada got into an argument, that's all. Nothing to worry about,” Ice quickly told her. He laid her on the bed and pulled the covers over her body.

“Be back?” she asked him.

“He’ll be back soon, pumpkin. He just needs some time to himself. He’ll be back soon. Okay?” Iceman tells his daughter.

“Okay. Goodnight papa.”

“Goodnight pumpkin.” He kissed her forehead goodnight, and left Y/N’s bedroom.

Bradley didn’t come back the next night. Or the night after that. He wouldn’t return for another 17 years.

262 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Complete

Summary: Everyone has a soulmate, or sometimes multiple. But you will never feel complete until you have met all of your soulmates. It can sometimes take years to meet them, especially if you have multiple soulmate.

Relationship: Bob x Rooster x Hangma x gn!reader

Warnings: None

Word count: 3075

A/n: This is only my second attempt at writing top gun fanfic so please be nice. Again this is heavily inspired by @daughterofthereaper02 her works are absolutely amazing and you should go check them out

You were lucky to grow up in a world with soulmates. Someone, or multiple someones, were destined to love you forever. A majority of people had only one, some had two but even rarer were the ones with three soulmates. You fell into the last category. When you were thirteen years old, three names appeared on your rib cage, one right after another. Jake Seresin. Bradley Bradshaw. Robert Floyd. The three people that were meant to love you unconditionally. Your mother and father commented on how lucky you are to have three soulmates. They also told you that now begins the hard part. The waiting. Waiting to meet each and every single one of them. Your parents told you that you would never feel complete until you had met all three. Even if you had met two of them, it would never feel right until all three of you were together. Your parents also reminded you that there was a chance for one or all of them to die before you even met. If that were the case, their names would burn off your body and all that would be left would be a scar to remind you of what could have been. While you didn’t want to think about worst case scenarios, that little tidbit of information was always there in the back of your mind.

While some people actively searched for their soulmates, you choose not to. It would happen when it was supposed to happen. You weren’t going to force it.

You met Bradley Bradshaw first. You both met in college, in your shared Spanish 101 class. It was the first day of classes and you two had sat right next to each other. It was as cheesy and cliche as one could get. The professor had told everyone to turn to their table partners and introduce themselves to each other.

“These are going to be your partners for every group project and lesson going forward. Better to introduce and get to know each other now, rather than later. And who knows some of you might be soulmates,” the professor had said. You gently smiled at the last statement, deep down hoping that it would be true.

“Bradley Bradshaw,” the man sitting next to you said. Your eyes widened and you turned towards your table partner. He had brown eyes, dark curly hair, and the beginnings of a mustache growing on his upper lip.

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” you asked.

“Uhm, Bradley Bradshaw? “ It came out more like a question. “It’s my name.”

You gave him a soft smile, and extended your hand out towards him.

“Y/N Y/L/N”

He returned the smile.

That was the start of everything. After that fateful class was over, the two of you spent the rest of the day getting to know each other. You learned that he wanted to be a naval aviator, like his father and that something had happened between Bradley and his uncle to cause him to not get into the Naval Academy. You told him that you were a history major and that you wanted to teach just like your mother had done. You shared likes and dislikes with him, hopes and dreams, and what you feared. You two told each other everything. The two of you even spent time speculating about the other two names, Jake Seresin and Robert Floyd, that were tattooed onto your skin.

The years went by and soon you both were graduating college. After college, he would be going off to flight school. Even with the setback from his uncle, Bradley had still made it into the Navy and was on his way to becoming a naval aviator just like his father. You would follow Bradley to Pensacola, Florida while he attended flight school and you had accepted a job as a teacher for the high school on base. The perks of being a soulmate to someone in the military, you could stay on base with them. Neither of you were expecting to meet your second soulmate while in Pensacola.

It happened while you were on your lunch break. The students were all at lunch and you had a free period. Sometimes students would wander in and ask questions about homework assignments or use your classroom as a quiet place to study but today it was just you, and you embraced the silence.

Buzz Buzz Buzz Buzz

Your phone would not stop buzzing. The screen kept lighting up with notifications. All were texts from Bradley.

Bradley: I’ve met him

Bradley: Jake Seresin

Bradley: He’s a cocky asshole. Thinks he's better than everyone.

Bradley: But he is also very good looking

Bradley: He asked if I had met you or Robert yet. I told him that I met you but not robert. I also told him that you were here on base with me.

Bradley: He also hasn’t met Robert yet. He wants to meet you.

Bradley: I told him he can come over after training today.

You: Oh wow, sounds like you had an interesting day. I’ll make sure there's enough food for dinner tonight to feed all three of us.

You: I’m nervous to meet Jake. What if he doesn’t like me?

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303 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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thirstyforoc · 3 years

Note

#not to be mean but Dustin is the shithole the realtor is giving Jim a tour through#so he did#split Dustin open and said it's ok we can live here ma'am u say a lot of correct shit but this is the rightest shit anyone's ever said on this hellsite

I'm literally a bumbling idiot in every other situation imaginable in life but this? This I got. Easy. I love being right and being the rightest is even better. Thank you. I'll try to continue on being right and top this just for you. 😘

#listen I just call it like I see it #thank you #love you #you can't see but I'm taking a little bow #but seriously every single time someone agrees with one of my reblogs about them I am so proud I got it right #it's stupid and fucked up but I am #because usually I can't find my glasses and they're literally on my face #but I have these two figured out #so yeah

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amaranthineoceans · 3 years

Text

Everything Weird About Deltarune!

Spoiler Warning for Undertale and Both Chapters of Deltarune! Really! I Literally Go Through Everything I Can Remember About Them!

This is a long post so get comfortable. Also note that my brain doesn't process thoughts into words very well so some of these might not be worded in the best way. :)

Deltarune. The first teaser chapter was released on October 31, 2018, and it came out of nowhere. We've all gone through this, but I'll try and go through every single painstaking detail I can remember. Feel free to reblog and add/correct things.

The weirdness begins right off the bat. The title is an anagram of UNDERTALE. We all know Toby likes to use anagrams when he wants to indirectly tell us when things are related, so it's no surprise that when you go to download DELTARUNE, it warns you that the game is designed for people who have played UNDERTALE. You think, "Cool, so it's a sequel? Or maybe a prequel? A different perspective of UNDERTALE perhaps?" You were wrong; so terribly, terribly wrong! I'll elaborate on this later.

Before you download the application, the terms of service that you must agree to beforehand reads simply and plainly, "You accept everything that will happen from now on." This detail was kinda brushed off in the beginning, because, hey, it's Toby Fox. He does weird stuff all the time. But even in the first chapter, it's apparent that the concept of choice, or more accurately, the lack of it, is a very present theme in the game. I would like to remind you that Toby has announced that there will be one ending in the game. One. I'll elaborate on this later.

The program (as in, what the game is called in your files) is named SURVEY PROGRAM. Why not just call it Deltarune like it is when you download chapter two?

The game launches you, without a title screen, without any setting adjustment options, straight into a reference to the theme of the entire franchise: the lack of choice. A strange formless voice guides you through "making a vessel", with what we know now as a fountain in the background. You have the option to make some very disturbing choices in this character creator, such as making its favorite flavor "pain" or expressing your feelings about it with options such as "fear" and "disgust." You name your "creation," tell the formless voice your name (which is different from your vessel's name) and watch as said formless voice muses over your name at an agonizing pace. It thanks you for your time and tells you that your wonderful creation, (cue music cutout and background removal) will now be discarded. "No one can choose who they are in this world." The screen slowly turns white as the voice says, "Your... name... is..."

It gets weirder. The next scene appears from the whiteness and showcases Toriel calling "Kris" out of bed. Kris' area of the room is very bare in contrast to the other side, which we later discover is Asriel's.

It's Toriel. Why is Toriel here?

Kris is kind of an anagram of Frisk (the protagonist of UNDERTALE) but without the F. I highly doubt this is a coincidence.

Speaking with Noelle is the only reason you can proceed (see what i did there?) while finding a partner in the classroom. This means you can't go through the 1st chapter without knowing who she is. Is it because of the Snowgrave route?

Ralsei is just suspicious to me. There's no way he was just waiting in that castle his whole life alone without some mental toil. So either he's insane or he wasn't alone the whole time. What happened? Is it related to how he can close his eyes and see what Susie is going through when she's apart from the party? Was he just watching everything? Is he related to the formless voice?

Susie's icon is the only one without color in the Dark World.

Jevil's fight is more difficult than Sans'.

Your actions have little consequence in the first chapter. If you choose to go genocide, the only difference in the ending is being run out of the kingdom, and this doesn't carry over to the next chapter. Again, lack of choice, people.

If at the end of chapter one, you walk around town, it's mentioned (notably by Noelle) that you're usually not this talkative. If you go to the hospital and speak with the receptionist, they mention that you used to play the piano in the corner. If you decide to attempt to play the said piano, an out-of-key bash can be heard and the receptionist comments on how you used to play beautifully. If you try this in chapter two, the result is the same. All this is confirmation that Kris is acting noticeably weird.

When you leave the Dark World and walk around town, you can find Sans. He "pretends" to recognize you, and if you tell him you recognize him, he tells you it's funny, considering that you two have never met before. He winks. I'm pretty sure he knows that the player is there.

The mention of Papyrus in both games, but the purposeful lack of him. Like he's avoiding you.

If you go upstairs while inside Asgore's flower shop, there are flowers in glass cases resembling his SOUL collection in UNDERTALE. There's a red flower.

You can't enter the church.

The clock in the storage closet shows a different time than all the others in the school.

If you go all the way south in town and into the woods, the music stops and you come across a rusty, double door is in a hill covered in crass. It's locked. If you go this way in chapter two, however, you watch a cutscene where you and susie happen to find Monster Kid from UNDERTALE (or someone resembling them) and an owl kid in front of the door. The owl kid is pressuring Monster Kid to (presumably) break inside, telling them that they don't want to be a wimp like Kris. Does this imply that Kris is connected to this strange door somehow?

The ending. You know what I'm talking about.

Did Kris actually rip out the SOUL (I say "the" because I'm not entirely sure it's Kris') and knife because they wanted to eat the pie? Did they only eat the pie because Toriel caught them?

Why did they look at the player? Are they sick of being controlled? Is that why they freaked out after the Spamton fight? (later)

Anyway, now we're at chapter two.

DELTARUNE Chapter Two was released on September 17th, 2021. 17. Entry Number 17. Sound familiar?

Asriel's part of the room is different from the last chapter. I don't think this means anything sinister, but I think it means Kris notices different things about the room as the story progresses. My theory is that it will become more sinister in each chapter.

Ralsei getting super excited to see Susie and Kris after a day. As in he has separation anxiety and it breaks my heart. not anything suspicious but it makes me sad so it's on the list.

Kris and Susie's rooms. Ralsei REALLY doesn't want them to leave. Seriously get this boy a therapist. Or a stuffed animal. SOMETHING.

Kris having to gather everything from the storage closet so that people appear in the Dark World????? Why??????????????? They had to do the same thing for the computer lab too.

The golden door. I don't trust it.

How/why the heck did Noelle and Berdley go into the Computer Lab Dark World? I don't see either of them just walking into pulsing void doors without Susie.

Apparently the knight has been gone for a bit and can corrupt people's minds? The king in the first chapter doesn't seem like he can be redeemed but Queen just seems,,, not bad, but a little crazy. I wonder what happened.

Then again, name ONE person in this franchise without trauma.

Spamton.

Horror doesn't bother me. Spamton? Spamton bothers me.

SPAMTON. ENOUGH SAID.

A Kromer is a type of hat invented in the '70s. Nobody named Mike is associated with it, that I can find.

SPAMPTON. HOW DO I EVEN DESCRIBE IT.

HIS SONG IS THE ONLY ONE WITH WORDS.

The way he asks Kris is they want to be a heart on a chain their whole life. Like, dude, no wonder they were screaming after the fight.

WHERE DID THE YELLOW HEART COME FROM. YELLOW MEANS JUSTICE. WHY DOES JUSTICE APPLY.

Kris screaming after the fight and the player not being able to hear it. Don't you dare tell me that's just how the game is designed. There are sound effects characters make throughout the game. None that I can think of apply to Kris, apart from when they rip their soul out.

Ralsei brushing off the Spamton fight. Either that's his coping mechanism or he was trying to shut Susie and Kris up to protect them from... something. I'll touch on that in a minute.

According to Queen, DETERMINATION is a key factor in creating a fountain.

Also according to Queen, Kris, Noelle, and Susie all have DETERMINATION SOULS.

Ralsei freaking out about Berdley making a fountain implies that he may also have DETERMINATION. Why I'm bringing all this up will make sense soon.

How was Noelle able to cast Snowgrave... a spell that she, according to her, didn't know?

The Snowgrave route is so twisted.

You manipulate Noelle into killing Berdley and then, when you get back to the computer lab and investigate his corpse, the text box says that he doesn't seem to be awake. As if you're in denial?

Burgerpants recognizes you. Not Kris. As in the player.

The ending. I don't think I need to describe it. Kris is very methodical without the SOUL. (I say "the" because, again, I'm not 100% convinced it's theirs.) I'm saying this about how they left clues that someone broke into the This proves that they are NOT a mindless, vengeful husk.

HOW DID THEY MAKE THE FOUNTAIN WITHOUT THE SOUL INSIDE OF THEM. DID THEY FEED THE SOUL TO IT AFTERWARDS? IS THAT WHAT THAT WAS?

Another point I would like to make is my theory that Ralsei knows much more than he would have us believe. I might put this into a different post because I have yet to gather my points into a coherent bullet point list, so keep an eye out for that.

Anyway apart from Toriel and Susie being VERY heavy sleepers, I think I've gone through everything. I have a few theories.

1. Kris is possessed by the player and figured out that they could make a fountain from Queen and related to Spamton freaking out about freedom. They then decided to make a fountain going by the logic that "this would tick the player off." This is one of my top theories that assumes that the SOUL is theirs.

And 2. Kris is possessed by both the player and the knight. I think the formless voice at the very beginning of the game is the knight, and they somehow needed the player to possess someone with DETERMINATION. If so, then why Kris? We know from Queen that Noelle and Susie, and maybe even Berdley also have DETERMINATION. The most plausible thing I can think of is the fact that human souls are stronger than monster ones.

I do think that the popular theory (about the one that suggests that the Dark Word is nothing but a figment of a child's imagination, and the events that occur in said Dark World are simply children playing with toys) has been thoroughly dashed due to Berdley's murder in the genocide route of the second chapter. Unless he's not dead. Regardless, how the events (or lack thereof) that occur in the second chapter play through the next will be interesting, especially considering Toby's announcement about how there will be one ending to the game. So either Berdley isn't dead, or he will be.

Aaaand I think that's it! Sorry for the long post; let me know your thoughts and if I missed anything!

#deltarune #deltarune chapter 2 #deltarune theory #deltarune theories #deltarune chapter two theory #deltarune chapter two theories #snowgrave #pipis route #deltarune snowgrave #video games #indie game #deltarune spoilers #ralsei #kris #susie #undertale #sans

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shingia · 3 years

Note

hopefullyy this inspires u to write,,, can i request hc's of the boys getting jealous seeing their s/o work well with another person on a team/club? like good chemistry with a dance partner for example! (u can choose who u write but can it include iwa!!) <33

✗ HQ BOYS GETTING JEALOUS SEEING YOU WORK WELL WITH ANOTHER PERSON ✗

a/n : kdjfkdjdkdj i love this request omg ty ! i did half hc/half scenarios bc i thought the request fitted this format <3

-> iwaizumi, osamu, kuroo, suna, tsukishima

-> warnings : kuroo’s a bit suggestive (tbh i don’t know about the rest. it’s just... kinda hot? (tsukki’s only fluff tho<3))

-> reblogs are >>>>

— IWAIZUMI

• iwa’s jealousy was practically non existent until he actually saw you interact with your partner

• don’t get me wrong, he absolutely loves your smile - but he especially loves to be the one who caused it

• he tends to get physically very protective of you, so expect his arm to stay wrapped around your shoulders most of the time. because to him it’s the easiest way to show the world (but especially your partner) that you’re his

• he also not-so-subtly offers you to wear his clothes on days when you have practice. and he secretly hopes that someone will ask you who they belong to...

« it’s cold outside. you should wear this ». iwa’s low and unannounced voice makes you turn around in surprise. leaned against the bathroom’s doorframe, he’s holding your favorite jacket in his hand - the one with his name written on the back, and you suspect that this might not be a coincidence... with a chuckle, you agree to put it on, noticing the proud spark in his eyes. « you know, i’m pretty sure everyone already knows i’m dating you » you tease him with a wink, all while also admiring the way his name takes up the whole width of your back. « oh yeah ? » he asks, a smirk tugging at his lips as he leans forward to rest his hands on the sink behind you. trapped between his outstretched arms, you watch his smirk grow just a little bit bigger as he lets out, very quietly, « well this is just a reminder... it better be the last ». his green eyes locked with yours could almost make you forget about his arm snaking around your waist at a painfully slow pace. almost.

— OSAMU

• look, he’s very happy for you. no doubt about it. but he’s so used to see people fawn over his brother that he can’t help but get a little protective from time to time

• since gifts are his #1 love language, he might buy you a workout-friendly piece of jewelry that you can wear during your practice

• he also insists on dropping you off and picking you up as often as his busy schedule allows it. especially since he learned that your partner was willing to give you a ride home...

• it’s not that he doesn’t trust you, obviously. he just doesn’t trust them yet

• and that’s why his kisses - and pda in general - are a bit more « intense » than usual

leg bouncing up and down, osamu is (very) anxiously for your conversation with your teammate to end. because after watching the entirety of your practice, he needs a little reminder that you two also have incredible chemistry together... a better one, even. so as soon as he sees you wave your teammate goodbye, he stands up straight, arms open just wide enough to welcome you against his chest. but instead of the chaste kiss you expected to get, you’re actually greeted by his left hand grabbing your sides while his right meets your lower back. disconcerted, you don’t even have time to say a word that his mouth crashes onto yours so eagerly that you have to lean back a few inches. « wh-what was that for ? » you pant as soon as his warm lips have left yours. « nothing. i love ya, that’s all » he smiles innocently, glad that you didn’t notice the cocky look he just gave your teammate who witnessed everything from afar... exactly as planned.

— KUROO

• passive agressive™️

• he would insist on properly meeting your partner but oh god they better brace themselves,,,

• because kuroo’s the kind of boyfriend that will shake their hand hard enough to make them yelp, all while having an angelic smile plastered on his face

• oh and you can forget being called by your name : he’s going to demonstrate the entire variety of nicknames he has for you. he might even come up with new ones just because he’s feeling « inspired »

• every single thing he says to your partner has to be a reminder that you two are dating. like « oh yeah they told me about this yesterday.. during our date ». just to make sure that there’s no misunderstanding.

« well... speak of the devil », kuroo hears you chuckle, your voice almost drowned out by his heavy breathing. he’s obviously planing on apologizing for being late... but not now. there’s something he wants to do first. still very aware of your partner’s presence right in front of you, he decides to securely yet eagerly wrap his arms around your waist before spinning you around proudly. « so... you guys were talking about me ? » he asks, glad to know that he’s the reason behind your giggles. « we were, actually » you answer a bit more seriously as he finally puts you down, still keeping both his hands on your waist. « well, i am your boyfriend after all... » he starts, interrupting himself to place a loud peck on your jawline. the only thing you can think is about is how awful this situation must be for your partner... kuroo, on the other hand, doesn’t seem bothered at all, as shown by the way one of his hands discreetly makes its way under the fabric of your t-shirt to rest directly on your skin. « hands off, kuroo » you order him with a slap on the back of his hand. an offended gasp leaves his lips, yet he complies reluctantly, thinking that your partner probably already knows everything that needs to be known about him.

— SUNA

• he doesn’t really mind it... as long as you’re willing to cuddle once you get back from practice. if you’re not, then he’s gonna start to worry

• because cuddling is probably his favorite ‘boyfriend privilege’ and he doesn’t want it to be taken away from him

• his schedule is pretty tight so he might not be able to attend any of your practices, but he asks you to record it as much as you possibly can so that he can watch the videos with you afterwards

• and seeing how smoothly you and your partner move together definitely doesn’t help with his worrying

it’s been thirty minutes now, and suna’s still not done watching the videos you took today. he loves to share these moments with you, snuggled up against each other the bed ; but most importantly, he has someone to keep his eye on... « babe- are you 100% sure that this was part of the choreography? » he suddenly speaks up, his eyes leaving the screen for the first time. you quirk a curious eyebrow, more surprised by his unusually suspicious tone rather than by the question itself. « oh, the hand on my waist ? yes, rin. it was ». at your words, his lips press into a thin line, he’s obviously far from being convinced. but you know your boyfriend well and you’re quick to reassure him : « you know, his hand might have been on my waist but you’re the one laying in my bed right now ». the frown on his face disappears almost immediately - much faster than you would’ve thought, replaced by a much more confident expression as his hands start to gently stroke your sides up and down. « mmh, i guess you’re right.... i mean, at the end of the day, only i get to have ‘all of this’ for myself » he smirks, playfully eyeing you up and down until he can’t resist the temptation of your slightly parted lips anymore.

— TSUKISHIMA

• tsukki’s not jealous, he’s just... well.. cautious. or at least that’s what he tells you

• but, deep down, he knows that simple cautiousness wouldn’t make spend his days and nights stressing about this new partner of yours...

• so, after a few weeks, his impassible facade starts to crumble a little bit. nothing too extreme, but just enough to let your partner know that you’re taken.

• and he knows he doesn’t need to do much : one of his signature scornful looks is more than enough. especially when he’s staring at your partner dead in the eyes while you’re greeting him with a hug and a kiss after your practice

« tsukishima kei, i’m waiting for an explanation ». with a sigh, your boyfriend drops his book on the table, turning his chair around to face you. « i don’t have one, i already told you. you told me to introduce myself, and i did. end of story ». you both know that tsukki did not just ‘introduce himself’ like any other human being would have done. and that’s precisely what you’re trying to make him admit - because your partner looked genuinely scared during practice today. « wha- no, i didn’t look down on him. it’s not my fault he’s so short... » he mumbles under his breath, trying his best to avoid any eye contact with you. but you know that only a slight tilt of his chin upwards is enough to make his eyes lock with yours - and that this is enough to have him admit anything. « you’re jealous, kei. and it’s painfully obvious by the way... » you smirk - but this smirk disappears in a split second as he slowly gets up from his chair, towering over you like he usually does. « ok, maybe i am. but i just wanted to make sure that he knew his place. and especially mine » he finally admits, his lips spreading in a scornful smirk that would be terrifying if his eyes weren’t filled with the infinite tenderness he has always felt for you.

✔️taglist : @toworuu @catwithangerissues @miyumiya @livy384 @k0u-minamo2 @fullsundear @hsjvwq @mochi-marie @hiraeth-z @velvetvirgos @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner @47meow @japanesevenom @geektastic84 @noir-blanches-blog @idontlikeyourjob @seiri-ami @atiny-grl-with-luv @admiringlove @nachotrash @kellesvt @aintyourholy @Moonlaeli @catchmewiddershins @duhsies @devilgirlcrybabiey @crystal-lilac

#i only have 2 requests left besties :o #so uh- ask away ig <3 #(reading the rules before would be : 😻😻 ngl)#haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! x reader #iwaizumi hajime x reader #miya osamu x reader #kuroo tetsurou x reader #suna rintarou x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu fluff

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quacka-quacka · 3 years

Text

I mentioned Paul's strong resistance to being recognized as effeminate man or gay (here). Although he can hang out with gay guys, wear rainbow flag in public [yeah I definitely need to write that again in case someone didn't see it], being considered gay or "cute" is beyond endurance. I know someone love to interpret this as "don't want to his sexuality being mislabeled", which indeed looks sensible when it comes to the homosexuality, but this excuse can't be applied to the "cute" thing, right? You can't say being cute or feminine is the same thing as being gay, can you? Well, I can hear Paul's every single cell screaming O!M!G! Feminine! all the time. He doesn't want himself have anything to do with feminine, which, unfortunately can not be simply regarded as personal preference, it's indeed a despising of femininity, and femininity? Of course it's about female. Yes, "phallicism", the worship of masculine are still popular in today's society, but it doesn't mean it's right. I have to say Paul's thought is the product of this society, not to mention that he is an old man who grow up in a working-class family six decades ago, we can't demand him that much. His attitude towards women is the same thing.

PAUL: We were more amazed to see the [Japanese] women leaping up out of the seats for the promoter, because we'd never seen that in the West. The subservience of the women was amazing. They'd say, 'Oh God, I'm sorry - was I in your seat?' I remember us getting back to Britain and saying to our wives and girlfriends, 'I wouldn't want you to do that, but maybe it's a direction worth considering?' Promptly rejected.

— The Beatles Anthology

Although Paul seems to know that it's pretty cool for a woman to pursue her own career, like admitting Jane was famous before he was, allowing Linda to write a cookbook or have a photography exhibition, the androcentrism is too ingrained for him to forsake. He acknowledged Jane's achievements but still wanted her to give up work completely:

'I always wanted to beat Jane down,' says Paul. 'I wanted her to give up work completely.'

'I refused. I've been brought up to be always doing something. And I enjoy acting. I didn't want to give that up.'

— Hunter Davies, The Beatles

He allowed Linda to do her own thing, but they are not entirely hers - all those projects are belong to MPL, and do not forget Paul said this after Linda's death:

She never did anything on her own because we were together so much.

— Paul McCartney, interview w/ Chrissie Henderson for USA Week-end: Tears and laughter. (October 30, 1998)

That's so sweet to see Paul would support his wife any time, but on the other hand it also shows that Linda never get the chance to do something entirely on her own without Paul's interference after she got married. No wonder so many people from inner circle [including Linda, yeah] described Paul as "typical Northerner":

Linda confided that Paul was a ‘typical Northerner’ who believed women should stay at home while men worked.

— Bonnie Estridge, The Mail on Sunday. (March 20th, 2005)

Paul was raised the old-fashioned way. Men were the breadwinners; women stayed at home, had babies and tea on the table. He's still an old-fashioned guy, very careful with money.

— Ruth McCartney

Like the other Beatles, he [Paul] was essentially an old fashioned Liverpool man, who wanted his woman tucked away at home cooking the dinner and minding the kids.

— Cynthia Lennon, John

Jane was a serious actress and wanted to continue her career, but Paul had other ideas. That’s why Linda was so perfect for Paul; she was just what he wanted, an old-fashioned Liverpool wife who was completely devoted to her husband.

— Marianne Faithfull, Memories, Dreams and Reflections

I'd say Paul was not that old-fashioned, at least he allowed his wife to do other things besides being a full-time nanny, but everything she does must cater his needs. As Jane once mentioned, he always wants his girl to adore him like fans:

The trouble is, he wants the fans’ adulation and mine too. He’s so selfish; it’s his biggest fault. He can’t see that my feelings for him are real and that the fans’ are fantasy.

— Jane Asher, Love Me Do! The Beatles’ Progress by Michael Braun

I know some of the fans can't wait to jump up now and shout "Paul and Jane didn't have a mature relationship!" "He's much mature after he meet Linda!" "Paul and Linda had a very very very healthy relationship!" Ok, if you really did some research, you may know that he's never mature enough to know how to fully respect women, at least before the end of divorce with Heather Mills. I have seen the theory appears too many times that Paul and Linda's marriage is the result of careful consideration: Linda came along with a ready-made child and she's ready to marry again - well, I regret to tell you both Paul and Linda wouldn't agree with you.

I was a great disappointment to my family When I got married [to a geologist] and moved to Arizona, it was crazy. I had been pressured by men all my life. I rather liked being on my own, making my own decisions. I had actually sworn to myself that I would never get married again.

— Linda McCartney, interview for Playgirl: An intimate conversation with pop’s preeminent pair. (February, 1985)

As she says, she's quite enjoy her freedom and had absolutely no interest in marriage. What did Paul do? He "twisted her arm" to make her agree.

I persuaded Linda to come to London for a visit. Then I rang Heather in New York and said, ‘Heather, will you marry me?’ She was five. ‘No, don’t be silly,’ she said. ‘I’m too young.’ ‘Well, I can wait,’ I said. So we went to New York and brought her back to London to live with us, and I twisted Linda’s arm and finally she agreed to marry me.

— Paul McCartney, interview for Playgirl: An intimate conversation with pop’s preeminent pair. (February, 1985)

Linda also said neither of them knew what they were doing when they got married:

LINDA: 'So instead of getting an agent I met Paul instead and got married. Or I was going through a transition then and didn't know quite what I was doing and he obviously didn't know quite what he was doing so we ended up marrying instead.'

— Paul McCartney: Many Years From Now

Again, I'm not saying Paul and Linda never loved each other or their marriage was completely made up for media, but I don't think his marriage with Linda enabled him to prioritize other's feelings [his status as one of the four head monsters doesn't help]. Linda's overmuch unilateral compromises certainty don't make him look mature. Let alone his excessive dependence on her.

------------------

Reply to all these who think feminize Paul/men is a bad thing:

You love to say that Paul doesn't want the cute title because people used to mock him by that. I understand it. But do you ever think about why being feminine is not taking him seriously? Do you ever think about this is the discrimination about femininity from the whole society? Why does a man must be despised when he has anything to do with femininity? And Paul's approach is denying his femininity, which is the same with those who mock it, like - a man being feminine is a shame because it means he can't be "respected" like other men. It's the recognition of this concept, which is outdated if you think about it.

P.S. Someone who reblogged my post doesn't seem to like the sentence "there must be many sweet moments between Paul and Linda". Ok, I delete it then.

#paul mccartney #jane asher #linda mccartney #the beatles #he is attracted to strong women but he wants them to do what he wants at the same time #he actually wants obedient strong women #a lot of trouble inevitably arise

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love-amihan · 3 years

Text

| ʜᴏᴍᴇ | ᴊᴊᴋ | ᴀᴏᴛ | ʜǫ | ꜰɪʟᴏ | ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛs | ᴍɪᴍɪ |

AS YOUR CLASSMATES // TOKYO JUJUTSU HIGH STUDENTS

amihan's note: here's how i imagine them as the type of classmate based by my friends' chaotic energy. i don't make the rules, they radiate this energy big time, happy reading!

additional note: thank you to the person who reminded me of hakari's academic points, i owe you one 😁💛

-itadori yuji

deadass copies your homework the same day of passing

"oh we had homework?! can i copy yours" cue his puppy dog eyes

half of the time listening to the lecture, half of the time just doodles in his notebook

if you're his seatmate, oh my good luck

he will try and converse with you every single time during discussion

got called by the teacher, finally pipes down

though, gotta say he will be the type to excel in quizzes!

unexpectedly did well and one of the highest score in class

overall, you like him but hate him at the same time

-fushiguro megumi

oh boy, this guy straight up sleeps at the back of the class

will make you sit in front him so that the teacher won't notice him

[based on true event] came prepared, opens notebook, pen in one hand his head leaning on his other hand looking like he's writing down notes but in reality he's deep asleep

he's just tired, let him be

if you're paired with him, he def cooperates

the goat of groupworks

overall realiable classmate, he's just sleepy

-nobara kugisaki

always comes in class looking pretty!

you forgot your lash curler? she have one. oh you also need mascara? no worries she got you.

will gladly apply light makeup for you

pretty handwriting!!!

she listens attentively during discussion

don't start a conversation with her cause she will not stop once you do

the type to lend you her notes

overall, a sweetheart. love you kugisaki 🥺💛

-zenin maki

she's definitely a braid expert

during break time, you will always see her braiding someone's hair for them

active participation during discussion

top student

always excel at everything

also, always part of the honors list

the one who the teacher's call whenever no one answers

will willingly teach you the lesson you have a hard time understanding

oH the student who lets you copy during quizzes (kids u gotta study for quizzes, don't just copy others... but if you didn't, just ask them)

overall, would make a great study partner and most likely the source of many students

-panda

that one loud ass kid

always yelling during break time

but he's the fun one, will initiate playing a game if no one was doing anything

if he's close with the teacher, he will not answer the question asked seriously instead coming up with something witty and unrelated

ends up getting a warning, but after class the teacher is not really mad at him

vibes with so many teachers

will always make the class laugh with his wittiness

overall, the class clown

-okkotsu yuta

you know the good looking quiet kid that everyone secretly has a crush on? yeah that's him

surprisingly good at drawing, got his time to shine when arts were presented in front

i just know that this boy always carry a handkerchief with him

he always hold it in his hand fiddling with it

sits in front of the class

always being persuaded by the teacher who organizes pageant for the school but always says no bcs he's shy

fun to tease and tell jokes to

when you talk to him he's always laughing

"i didn't even say anything funny" he just smiles fidgeting with his handkerchief, say sorry and tell him a joke now!

overall, a quiet and average student

-inumaki toge

now this bitch, a menace

definitely your friend

"toge can you get my glasses?" this mf will purposely get it by the lens

you have your hair up in a bun? he never fails to miss a moment smacking the top of it and will have the guts to make buzzing noises while he's at it

doesn't take down notes saying he can just photocopy yours

also copies your homework, every goddamn time

but gotta admit that he effortlessly excels in one subject where you greatly struggle with, so it's kinda a win-win ig

worst type of tutor, he sometimes forget to tell you important details

also, the type to get reviewers from you

overall, i love you toge but i wanna strangle you sometimes

-hakari kinji

you don't see him often

teachers remember him but not in a good way

if ever he's in class, he sits at the back corner

doesn't participate much

if you're grouped with him he just agrees with whatever the group suggests, once in a while giving his own suggestion

his bag you ask? none.

only has a pen

will ask his seatmate for a piece of paper if ever he feels like taking notes

don't really have anything to say about him other than he's barely passing

will probably end up repeating a year due to his tardiness

overall, though he's mia once in a while he will still make a great classmate have group works with since he easily cooperates

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stealing-jasons-job · 3 years

Text

Dear fanfic readers...

I want to start this by saying I love you all. Seriously. I honestly wouldn’t still be writing fanfic if you guys didn’t exist. And I think that’s probably true of a lot of writers. We thrive on readers enjoying our work, leaving kudos/comments, reblogging, sharing with friends, etc. And 99% of people who read/comment don’t fall into this category.

But I have to address something. Er, I have to address a few somethings. Tonight, one of my dear friends received a nasty comment on one of their fics. It was, frankly, a mean rant disagreeing about the choices said writer made in the chapter update. But what really struck me was what they said at the end of the comment—that they admire the author’s work and that they are excited about future chapters. Which to me, meant that they meant their comment as a constructive criticism rather than to be purposefully hateful.

Which leads me to my first “something”:

Long comments about things you personally disagree with in a story is not constructive criticism.

I say this as someone who gives actual constructive criticism to writers for a living. Calling someone’s work horrible or hollow or misguided or flat or [insert long list of other adjectives I’ve seen non-writers call someone’s work] isn’t constructive criticism. It’s not constructive. It’s just mean.

Moreover, constructive criticism has to be founded on mutual trust. If you’re commenting on ao3 or Tumblr or Twitter on someone’s work who did not ask you specifically for constructive criticism, that trust isn’t there.

You’re welcome to your opinions about someone’s story or work. But you are not welcome to share those negative opinions when you don’t have consent. Even when you DO have consent, that constructive criticism needs to be well-structured to include real reasons why something isn’t working in a story (”I don’t personally agree with this choice” is not an example of a real reason) and ways to improve. That respect is the very least a writer deserves when someone is asked (notice how I bolded asked, bc it’s fucking important) to give feedback on work that they spent time and effort on. Which leads me to my next “something”:

Fanfic is provided for free, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t cost something.

I saw a post on here recently (linked here) that talked about how fanfic is provided at no cost to the reader, but that doesn’t mean it’s “free” for the writer. And this is something I think some non-writers don’t quite understand.

Writing a story—whether it be based on characters from a TV show like this fic or based on original characters of your own creation—is a lot of fucking work. It takes hours of your time and so much mental energy. There's the planning and the plotting and the actual writing and the editing and the working up the nerve to post it so that others can see it and hopefully like it. And all of that labor, all of that emotional/mental/physical labor is done for free. So that the stories in our heads and hearts can exist and so that readers can enjoy them.

EVERY choice is thought out. Every. Single. One. Every conversation is considered, every dialogue tag is placed with intention, every choice the character makes is one we make first. And do we always agree with the choices our characters make? Do these choices always perfectly mirror what would likely happen in real life or even if another write were to have written the story? No, not always. But damn if we didn't have a reason for letting them make them regardless. Every facet of a story is considered—especially for longer fics.

So hours of work and a mountain of emotional, mental, and physical energy is put into a fic. Writers open up a door for readers to see into our minds and hearts and souls for these stories. And the very least readers can do is tell us when those stories resonates, and be kind and respectful regardless of if it resonates or not. Deciding to shit on a story because you don't personally agree with the direction the story is headed? That's heartbreaking. And irritating. And frankly unmotivating.

Which brings me to my final “something” of this post:

Negativity and indifference are killing Fandom.

We’ve all seen how Fandom (and I’m not just talking about one specific fandom, I’m talking about capital-F Fandom as a whole) has gone downhill in recent years. There’s less engagement with works, less discussion happening between readers/creators/writers/casual viewers of a fandom, and more writers/creators leaving Fandom behind.

That’s mostly because of negativity and indifference. There are a lot of posts about how people (and I include myself in this because I really need to do better, and I’ve been trying) need to make a mindful effort to comment on fics you like, kudos fics you like, reblog, retweet, converse with your favorite writers/creators, etc. So I won’t harp on that again here.

But negativity is another culprit here. Putting a fic or a piece of art out into the world is terrifying. More terrifying to some than others, but there are nerves and anxieties that go into it no matter who you are. And unlike paid authors publishing books or showrunners air tv shows, the only thing we get in return are the kudos/comments/reblogs/retweets from readers. That’s it. So when we put hours of time and effort and those little pieces of our soul into works only to be met with indifference or hateful comments (even when they are misguided attempts at constructive criticism), it makes the benefit of all that work less and less appealing.

I’ve seen too many writers abandon works and leave fandoms (including t100 fandom, specifically the bellarke fandom) because of this. And I hate it. We have too many talented writers and creators for that. Moreover, the world needs those talented writers and creators to keep making things they love for it to keep spinning (a topic for another long Tumblr post).

So how can Fandom be a better place for writers/creators?

First thing’s first, participate. See a piece of art you loved? Reblog it. Read a fic you adored? Comment something to that effect. Find authors or creators you admire? Reach out to say hey! Or just hit the follow button and interact with posts if you’d rather not say hi. We appreciate all of it and love you immensely for it.

But the kicker once you start participating is doing it mindfully. Think about what you’re commenting and whether it’s helpful or harmful. A long string of emojis bc you can’t put how much you loved a fic into words? We love to see it. Novel-length tags in your reblogs about your favorite lines? Will probably make our day. DMs or asks about upcoming chapters or fic ideas? We’ll scream our joy and talk your ear off.

A rant about how you thought the characterization of Bellamy in this fic was off? That’s not helpful if the writer didn’t ask you specifically for that kind of feedback. And hateful comments about how a fic needs to be updated sooner or how a certain update didn’t mean your qualifications for how you personally wanted a story to continue? Definitely not helpful (and a honestly a dick move).

I have no qualms about speaking on behalf of all fanfic writers when I say that we LOVE every single person who reads our shit. We thrive on people reading our stories and then telling us and their followers how much they loved it. No (kind) comment goes unnoticed or unappreciated.

So please, please, please spread kindness whenever you can to writers and creators. <3

All my love,

A fanfic writer who is terrified that negativity is going to drive all my fandom friends away, and who might get carpal tunnel if I have to write another novel-length rebuttal to someone being an ass on AO3 to one of my friends

#fandom #the 100 fandom #fanfiction #for the love of god be kind to writers/creators #this was long but like it needed to be said #so no regrets #y'all read 100k fics on the reg so y'all can read this lol #to all the readers who comment and kudos and share their fics #I LOVE YOU

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farfromtommy · 4 years

Note

seb being a stepdad to chris' kids or vice versa!

not my gif

a/n: okay this is literally one of the best ideas ever and im so in love with this fic. i think this takes the cake for my favorite fic i’ve written!! this is mildly edited so pls be kind. im so proud of it and hope you guys love it <3

please reblog if you enjoyed reading and and feel free to leave any comments!!

warnings: drinking, mentions of sex, brief mention of medical procedure(s), there might be some language i dont remember

word count: 4,400

masterlist

social media au masterlist

taglist

~~~

Chris has been your best friend since elementary school and all through middle and high school. Everyone knew how close you were to him and how deeply you loved each other. It was never in a romantic sort of way, though. Nobody really understood the relationship you had with him, they just shrugged their shoulders and minded their business.

When Chris told you he wanted to move to New York to follow his dream of being an actor, he asked you to go with him. You shared his love for theatre and the arts and always wanted to see if you could make it as a big-time Hollywood actress. You packed all your things into your tiny car and made your way to New York with your best friend.

You spent your 28th birthday sitting on Chris’s couch with a bottle of tequila and a broken heart. Your boyfriend of 3 years broke up with you on the grounds of you being “such a drag” and “not someone he wants to settle down with any more”. You had planned a life with him. He talked about marrying you and having kids with you just weeks prior. And he had just thrown it all away.

Having gone through almost half of the bottle of tequila already, Chris took the bottle from you and just looked at you with sad eyes. He ran his hand through your hair as you buried your face in your pillow and just cried. You pulled yourself together after a while and willed yourself to sit up and look Chris in the eyes.

“I know I’m kinda drunk right now but Chris, listen to me. Can we make a pact? When we’re both 30 and if we’re both still single and loveless. Let’s have a baby. We don’t have to like… y’know… do it or anything. We can do it through insemination or in a petri dish or however they do it. I’m just- I want to settle down and have kids but I don’t think I’ll ever trust anyone else.” You rambled, gesturing wildly with your hands. Chris suppressed a laugh and looked at you like you were crazy. You just looked at him questioningly until he realized this was not the alcohol talking.

“Are you serious? Like, me and you? Having a baby? Seriously?” He pulled himself off the floor and sat on the coffee table in front of you.

“I’m so serious. You can say no, Chris. This is me asking you what you think. I always said that if I don’t have a husband or have been with someone long enough to have a child with them, that I would go to a sperm bank and do it like that. You know how badly I want kids, and I know you want them too.” You moved to the edge of the couch to move closer to him. He stood up and grabbed your hand to help you up. He dragged you towards the kitchen and sat you down at the table, telling you to wait there while he grabbed something. He came back a few moments later with a notebook and a pen.

“Alright, let’s figure this out. We’re going to ask each other questions about this and write down the answers. Any conditions we have we’ll write down, if we can’t agree on them we don’t do it. I know you’re not super sober right now so we can do this now and talk about it again tomorrow.” He wrote ‘Y/L/N - Evans Baby’ along the top. You smiled a bit to yourself and waited for him to talk.

“I don’t want to be just the sperm donor, I want to be involved in everything. From the ultrasound appointments to picking preschools. I also want to be in the room when you’re in labor.” He wrote it down as he was talking and looked up at you. You nodded with a big smile on your face.

“I would want you as involved as possible. We would be co-parenting this hypothetical child. My turn. To keep this from getting messy, we should do it through a clinic. Me in stirrups and your swimmers in a turkey baster. Sex can make things complicated and weird, I don’t want to risk something going wrong between us and then there be a child involved. Insemination isn’t as effective but we can always keep trying if it doesn’t work.” You pulled the notebook towards you and wrote down your condition.

That went on for the rest of the night. You and Chris take turns asking questions about your hypothetical baby. You had filled up pages and pages of notes about what you both want, from how you would decide to tell your families to living arrangements to if you’d circumcise or not if it was a boy.

A little more than 2 years later you and Chris found yourselves at the dining room table of his Boston home again. The notebook you had filled just a few years back right in front of you, along with 5 pregnancy tests. They were face down on the table as you anxiously waited for the timer to go off.

“Alright, Chris. This is it. It’s been 5 minutes, we can flip them over.” You released a shaky breath and stared at the tests right in front of you. Chris grabbed your hand and laced your fingers together. You looked at each other before reaching out to flip over the individual tests. Seeing all 5 of the tests with 2 solid pink lines knocked all the air out of your lungs.

“Oh my god. They’re all positive! Oh my god, Chris!! We’re going to have a baby!” You both jumped out of your seats and jumped around the kitchen before hugging each other and crying. He kept thanking you and kissing the top of your head while you sobbed into his chest, soaking his shirt. There were lots of tears over the next few weeks from you both after confirming your pregnancy with your midwife.

8 or so months later Penelope Elizabeth Evans-Y/L/N made her way into the world and the arms of her parents. The world seemed to stop when you heard the cries of your daughter for the first time. You could’ve sworn Chris stopped breathing the second he laid eyes on her when she was placed on your bare chest. He didn’t even care that she was covered in blood and other bodily fluids, he swore that she was the most beautiful human being to ever exist.

He took a lot of time off from filming and working to take care of you both. Once you found out you were pregnant, you stopped acting for the most part. You knew that you wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, at least until she was old enough to go to school, and maybe then you’d go back to smaller roles that kept you close to home.

Chris had a hard time leaving you and Penny once it was time to go back to work. He held her close to his chest and cried at the thought of leaving her when she’s still so little. Seeing the extreme separation anxiety he was already having, you offered to go with him to set and find an apartment or house to rent for the duration of the shoot. This ended up being the greatest thing you could have come up with. Every single project that took him away from Boston, you and Penny were right there next to him. You and Penny followed him to what seemed like every corner of the Earth.

The weeks leading up to shooting The Winter Soldier were the most exciting for Chris. He had been training for months to get into shape and was really excited to have you and Penny on set with him. He had also been talking nonstop about working with Sebastian and Anthony again.

One night Chris came home with Sebastian and Anthony trailing behind him. Penny had gone down for the night and you were nursing a glass of wine on the recliner, watching whatever you could find on TV.

“Hey, Y/N. I should've called ahead, I’m sorry. We’re just going to have some beers while we watch the game.” He walked in and gave you a quick kiss on the cheek. You moved the blankets off your lap and stood up to greet Anthony and Sebastian.

“I don’t think you ever got a chance to meet these guys before. Y/N this is Anthony and Sebastian, guys this is Y/N.” Chris introduced you and you moved forward to give them both hugs.

“Sorry for barging in on you unannounced, we would’ve made sure this idiot called you before to make sure it was all good,” Anthony said, taking the beer Chris handed him.

“Oh please, don’t worry about it. He used to do it all the time when we lived in New York. Sorry, the place is a bit of a mess. Didn’t get a chance to clean today, I’ve had my hands full, especially with this one” You gestured a thumb to Chris and he sent you a playful glare in return.

You offered to put together some snacks for the game, knowing very well Chris couldn’t handle his alcohol without some sort of food in his system. Anthony and Sebastian offered to help while Chris snuck off to go see Penny.

“How long have you and Chris been together?” Sebastian made some small talk while looking for serving bowls in your kitchen. Anthony leaned against the counter and continued to sip on his beer.

“Oh, we’re not together. We’ve been friends since we were kids and we actually are just uh...” You chuckled nervously, not knowing what to say to his friends. Chris walked into the kitchen with Penny in his arms at that moment. Her head tucked into his neck, hands gripping at the fabric of his shirt and his arms under her butt.

“We’re raising our daughter together. They go with me wherever I go so I don’t miss anything and so Y/N doesn’t raise Penelope by herself. We’re co-parenting in the same house.” He said, looking at the tired toddler in his arms. Sebastian and Anthony both sputtered on their beers at the same time, not believing what they were seeing.

There was no denying that she was a product of you and Chris. Even with her sleepy eyes, they could see the bright blue color that matched the man carrying her. They saw the swoop of your nose and the color of your hair. They stood there just taking it all in.

“I had a bit of a crisis when I turned 28 after my long term boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere. It was one of those ‘if we’re 30 and aren’t married’ sort of things. We turned 30 and were both still single, so we had a baby.” You shrugged, looking over at your girl.

“And it works, being parents without being together but still living together?” Anthony asked, gesturing towards the two of you.

“We had everything figured out before she got pregnant. We had conditions that we both had to agree on before we even got serious about it. We were both very adamant about not doing it the old fashioned way so things didn’t get messy. It took some time to figure out the… terms and conditions I guess.” Chris laughed a little bit. Anthony and Seb nodded in understanding and kept looking at Penny.

“I’m happy for you, man. Seems like you both are really happy. How old is she?” Anthony walked into her line of sight and waved his fingers a bit, trying to get her attention.

“She turned one a couple of months ago.” You said and watched Penny pick her head up and look at Seb and Anthony, inspecting them a bit. Her big blue eyes landed on Sebastian and she stared him down before he gave her a small smile and waved at her. She was a little shy around new people and would usually bury her face in the neck of whoever was holding her.

To your surprise, she leaned away from Chris and moved her hands out to Sebastian. Everyone’s eyes widened as she whined a little bit when he didn’t reach out to grab her. Chris moved closer and told him it was okay and let Penny make herself comfortable in his arms. She buried herself into his neck much like she does with you and Chris, her tiny fists clutching his shirt. Her eyes shut immediately and let herself fall asleep in his arms.

The next few months went on more pleasantly than expected. Chris often had late-night shoots and training, leaving you with Penny most of the day. Anytime he knew he would be home late, he’d send Seb over with dinner or just an extra set of hands to help you with Penny. She knew you were her mama and Chris was her dada, then one day she had her Seba. Anytime you opened the door to let him in with her on your hip, she immediately squealed and started to chant ‘Seba! Seba!’ and didn’t stop until he was holding her.

Sebastian had brought up the idea of taking you to dinner one night to Chris. Even though you were a single adult who could make decisions on your own, he didn’t want to disrespect Chris at all. Chris never saw you as anything more than his best friend, it had always been like that. He was ecstatic when Sebastian brought up the idea of asking you out.

“I’m so serious, Seb. I think it’s a great idea. She talks about you a lot and really loves being around you. She’s going to say yes, I promise. Y/N hasn’t dated since we had Penny, mostly because she’s scared of what someone would think about her living with her childhood best friend who happens to be the father of her child.” Chris told him honestly. You weren’t interested in dating at all since having Penny. Mostly because being a mom was your first and only priority.

Sebastian let out the breath he was holding and ran his fingers through his hair, all of a sudden nervous about asking you to dinner. Chris clapped a hand around his shoulder and gave him a quick pep talk before sending him on his way.

The 2 years between wrapping Winter Soldier and starting Civil War had been interesting, to say the least. Everything Chris did kept him in the states for the most part. You and Penny were still trailing along with him, always loving the things you got to experience as a family.

Sebastian had found his place right in your crazy life. You had been unofficially together after wrapping Winter Soldier. He went off to do his next project and you and Chris spent some time in Boston with your families. You texted him most of the day, and he called at night to talk for a few hours before you went to sleep. He always said goodnight to Penny and she blew her Seba kisses through the phone.

He flew to Boston a bunch of times to see you, even if it was only for a few hours. You flew to wherever he was for a few days at a time, most of the time with Penny. Chris somehow managed to get you on the plane by yourself a few times and promised he would FaceTime every single night and would have hourly pictures sent.

On one of your first weekend trips out to see him, he refused to let you leave without making it official with you. He had you in tears at the end of his ‘I can’t spend another second without calling you my girlfriend’ speech. When he proposed to you he had said that the only thing better than the girlfriend speech was the one he was about to give. His ‘I can’t spend another second without calling you my wife’ speech knocked that one out of the water.

Neither of you wanted to make a big fuss about a wedding. You weren’t interested in the big white dress and the stressful bridesmaids and the whole cliche wedding things. Sebastian suggested getting eloped somewhere quiet with a handful of the most important people in your life. Chris’s mom, Lisa, had offered to hold the ceremony in her backyard. Knowing very well how spacious and beautiful it was, you and Seb graciously accepted her offer.

You kept your dress simple yet elegant, a beautiful white lace dress that ended mid-thigh, and complimented your body so perfectly. Seb kept it classy with a dark blue suit and light blue button-up that brought out his eyes, no tie, because who needs one?

Right at the end of the ceremony right as the officiant was about to have you say ‘i do’, you heard whines coming from Penny, who was sitting right up front on her daddy’s lap. You looked over to see her squirming in his lap and whining out ‘mama’ and reaching out for you. Chris made eye contact with you and mouthed ‘i’m sorry’. You shook your head and let go of one of Sebastian’s hands to motion to let her go so she could walk over to you.

Everyone aww’d as she walked over to you as quickly as her legs could take her. You bent down and scooped her up, resting her on your hip and wrapping your arm around her waist to keep her up. Sebastian made faces at her to make her laugh and keep her happy for a few more minutes. Your photographer had taken advantage of the incredibly sweet moment and had made sure to get as many shots of Penny at the altar with you.

When the officiant pronounced you husband and wife, you were going to set Penny down but Sebastian was quick to pull you both close to him and go in for your first kiss as a married couple with your daughter right there. Everyone cheered and Penny was mimicking the claps of everyone around her. Before he pulled away from you two he pressed two sloppy kisses on Penny’s cheeks as she giggled, which pulled some tears out of you.

No more than 15 people were attending the ceremony. You wanted to keep it quiet with just family and a few close friends. The reception, however, was anyone and everyone you could fit into the ballroom you had rented at one of the best hotels in Boston. All your guests had filled the room before you and Seb arrived. You nervously held his hand as you heard the cheers from everyone inside after hearing the DJ announce “Ladies, gentlemen, and nonbinary friends … let’s give it up for the couple of the hour, Mr. and Mrs. Sebastian Stan!!”

No one understood how you, Chris, and Seb managed to make your situation seem so easy and flawless. He knew that living in Boston was a must, so he bought the house that sits right behind the one you shared with Chris for so many years. He never wanted to get in the way of the system you and Chris had created over the years. Somehow, he managed to make things easier for everyone.

Penny’s first day of school was emotional for all 3 of you. You were all at your front door taking pictures of Penny in her school uniform that she looks so ridiculously cute in and the backpack that was way too big for her. She insisted on getting the Avengers backpack that “has my daddy on it!”

“Okay my love, it’s time for us to go to school! Are you ready?” Chris grabbed her tiny hand and led her to the car.

“Yeah daddy, I’m ready!” Penny said as he lifted her into the car and her car seat.

“Daddy? Mama and Sebbie coming too?” She asked him when he clicked the last buckle together. Right on cue Sebastian opened up the door to the free seat in the back and climbed in right next to her. She squealed in excitement at the sight of Sebastian buckling himself in the car.

Chris laughed at her genuine excitement and made sure all her fingers and toes were inside the car before shutting the door. He saw you lock the front door and make your way to the front seat. He noticed you put a few packs of tissues in your bag before setting it on the ground and buckling your seatbelt.

“Planning on crying today, Y/N?” Chris asked in a teasing tone. You swatted his arm lightly and scoffed at his question.

“Our baby is going to her first day of school, of course, I’m going to cry! I cried last night after I tucked her in, I cried in the shower this morning, I cried doing her hair.” You heard Seb talking enthusiastically to Penny, telling her about all the fun things she’ll get to do in kindergarten.

“It’s okay, I cried in the bathroom while she ate her waffles this morning.” You snorted at Chris’s confession and looked back at your baby girl, who was not a baby anymore. She was waving her hands around telling Seb about how excited she was to see her teacher again.

Chris and Sebastian watched from the car as you walked through the front doors of the school with Penny’s hand in yours. They had agreed that it might not have been a good idea to go in with her since they might get recognized and to avoid causing a ruckus. They both waved at her as she turned around and waved one more time before the door shut.

“Did you and Y/N ever think about having more kids together? If I hadn’t started dating her, do you think you would've had more?” Sebastian asked Chris.

“We never explicitly talked about it. She brought up wanting Penny to have lots of siblings not long after you started seeing each other. She felt guilty and thought that I was going to be upset about you and her maybe having kids one day, which meant I probably wouldn’t have anymore. I told her that this was honestly the best thing that could’ve happened because I don’t think I want any more of my own. Penny is all I ever wished and hoped for, and I got it. But since you’re together, she’ll get all the siblings she could ever want, and I won’t have to change a single diaper.” Chris nudged Seb’s shoulder with his. “You guys thinking about having one?”

“Yeah... Yeah, we are.” Sebastian lowered his head and smiled a bit. “With Penny in school and everything, it makes sense. She’s ready, I’m ready.” Seb sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He looked up and saw you walking back towards them with a tissue in your hand.

“I had the morning crying shift, it’s your turn.” Seb looked at Chris.

Just as Penny wrapped up her very first year in school, you and Sebastian welcomed Beverly Olivia Stan-Y/L/N into your family. Penelope had been so excited to hear that her mama finally had the baby she had been waiting so long for. You had gone into labor in the late afternoon and Beverly made her debut in the middle of the night.

Sebastian had called Chris an hour or so after to let him know that both you and the baby were doing phenomenally and that you were asking for Penny and wanted to see her as soon as you could. Chris chuckled at the demands you were making, knowing very well how the epidural and pain meds messed with you.

Early the next morning Penny had crawled into bed with Chris, crying for you and wanting to know when she was going to see you. It was still too early for them to go to the hospital, so he called Seb in hopes that he was already going to be awake.

A very exhausted Sebastian lit up the screen and Chris heard the soft cries of the new baby in the background. Penny’s cries turned into hiccups as soon as she saw Seb’s face because she knew she would be able to see her mama, too.

“Sebbie can I see mama, please?” Penny’s little voice spoke up. Sebastian immediately handed the phone to you and whispered that Penny was on the phone.

“Hi, baby.” You spoke softly to not disturb the baby.

“Mama when you come home? I miss you.” Penny wiped her eyes with her fists to get rid of the tears stuck in her eyelashes.

“It’s going to be a few days until I get to go home, baby. But you and daddy will be able to come to see me, Sebbie, and the new baby in a few hours. You need to go back to sleep and be a good girl for your daddy. I’m sure he’ll let you have some cuddles in his bed with him and Dodger until it’s time to wake up again.” Penny hiccuped and looked at Chris with eyes that mirrored his. He nodded his head and she buried herself closer to him.

“Okay, I go back to sleep with daddy and Dodger. I love you, mama. I love Sebbie, too.” She yawned out, her eyes blinking with sleep.

“Me and Sebbie love you so much, Penny. We’ll see you so soon, I promise” You blew a kiss to her through the screen and waited for her to throw one back. She giggled when you caught it through the camera and put it over your heart.

You, Sebastian, and Chris all watched with tears in your eyes as Penny held her baby sister for the first time. Penny had jumped right up in the bed next to you the second she walked into the room and told you about all the fun she had with Chris. Seeing your girls together melted your heart into a puddle. Chris couldn’t believe his little girl was so grown up and was a big sister. Seb thought about the night he first met you and Penny and would’ve never imagined that he’d be right here at this very moment.

Everything was so perfect and you never wanted to imagine your life being any different.

848 notes · View notes

a-dragons-journal · 3 years

Note

Hi! I was scrolling through the otherkin tag (as one does) and saw on an ask you answered that you hated DNIs and didn’t want to go into it on that ask. So I’m curious now- why do you hate DNIs? I don’t have a DNI, and I’m not out to try and change your mind. I’ve just never seen anyone say outright that they didn’t like DNIs, so I’d really like to hear your thoughts. Thanks!

I ended up indeed going into it later, because people kept sending in asks about it, so this tag exists now, but in summary:

- I don't necessarily hate the existence of DNIs, because they can be a useful tool in certain circumstances, but I hate that they're starting to become an expectation/requirement and that it's now considered "creepy/suspicious" in a growing number of communities to not have one. It should not be an obligation to basically list your political stances, discourse opinions, and triggers - you know, things you can be attacked for/people can use to hurt you - in any circumstance, least of all on the Internet where anyone can see it.

- For that matter, putting a list of things that can hurt you in public where anyone can see it and know exactly how to target you if they want to hurt/harass you is a bad idea, whether it's a social requirement or not. Full stop. Unless you are in a relatively small group where you know the intentions of the people there (and often not even then!), it is not a good idea to tell people how to effectively hurt you on the Internet.

- I hate it when people put "[x bigoted group] DNI" at the bottom of actual discussion-type content posts (as opposed to, like, aesthetics and stuff), such as people putting "TERFs DNI" at the bottom of posts about feminism, because a) if you're worried about your post appealing to that group, maybe you should reexamine your post's content, b) I've seen firsthand more than once that those groups, TERFs especially, will purposely put "[x] DNI" at the bottom of their crypto-rhetoric posts in order to turn people's critical thinking skills off and make them more likely to accept the crypto rhetoric (foot-in-the-door tactic), and c) even if it's not intentionally malicious like the last point, it still makes it so the OP's post is suddenly immune to criticism, because "hey this comes off a little transphobic" can be met with "how dare you call me a transphobe?? I said 'TERFs DNI' right there!!1!", which, again, has to do with the whole "turning people's critical thinking skills off" problem.

- On a similar note, I hate this recent trend toward performative activism and "racists/transphobes/homophobes/etc. DNI!1!" feels like another permutation of that; I don’t like people demanding/expecting me to announce all my political opinions right out the gate. It should be my decision whether or not I want to share sensitive information about myself (and if you’re scoffing at the idea of a political opinion being “sensitive information” - if it can get you, again, harassed and attacked by a complete stranger, it’s sensitive information).

- People seem to forget that people can, will, and do lie on their DNIs and bios. Predators will lie about being "under 18” in order to make minors they’re interacting with feel safe and let their guard down. TERFs will lie about “transphobes DNI!” to ensure their crypto rhetoric spreads and gets a foot in the door of trans-supporting people’s thought processes. All “it’s to let the people affected by [bigotry] know I’m safe,” which is something I hear sometimes, really means is that the bigot in question only has to put up a DNI to make the people they’re planning to target lower their guard. There is nothing guaranteeing that someone actually believes what their DNI implies they believe. It’s an illusion of safety that just doesn’t - and, really, can’t - exist on the internet, by the internet’s nature. And people thinking they’re safer than they really are is what gets people hurt because they stopped being careful. I’m not saying people need to (or should) live in fear, but relying on DNIs is not a sustainable solution, imho.

- I hate people using DNIs/BYFs as an alternative to blocklists because it often becomes essentially them forcing other people to curate their internet experience for them, and then getting mad (or hurt) when that doesn't work out for reasons that should be obvious. Especially when you take it to the extreme of trying to regulate anyone who reblogs your posts, which I have seen sometimes - you can't seriously expect people to check the OP of every single person whose post they reblog to make sure they agree with your opinions on fandom discourse; that's untenable and it can only lead to people getting hurt. You are the only person who is - and the only person who can be - responsible for your internet experience. Curate your own space.

- as a minor point, "standard DNI criteria" is becoming a popular phrase and it's frankly a useless phrase because there's no such thing. Beyond "racists/homophobes/transphobes" there's literally no telling what a given person includes in what's "standard" - pro- or anti-ship? SFW agereg/petreg blogs? DDLG? Steven Universe fans? inclusionists or exclusionists? There is no "standard." (But then, I feel like how common that phrase is becoming says something about exactly how performative and empty the trend of DNIs is as a whole at this point in time.)

- also as a minor point, I am frankly just not a fan of how often DNIs put things like "Steven Universe fan" and "neonazi" right next to each other like they're the same level of bad. I recognize consciously that this is not the intention, but it sure does come off that way sometimes. It reminds me a bit too much of those callout posts that have six pages about the person's bad opinions on anime or whatever and only then go "oh yeah and also they sexually abused, threatened, and sent their friends to harass a minor and we have screenshot evidence of all of that. anyway here's three more pages about why their art is bad because they drew a 16-year-old in a crop top one time".

And, let me be very clear here: I do not hate people who have DNIs, nor do I want to act like they're never useful. They are, sometimes! But I do feel they're being misused and they're starting to become an expectation and that's a huge problem, for the same reason that people trying to force everyone to put their age/basic personal information in their bios is a problem - it's a safety concern. I am honestly convinced that at this point, in most circumstances, DNIs are doing more harm than good.

If you want to use a DNI, that's up to you, and it's not like I'm gonna harass people about it ('s why I started that "dni critical" tag, so people could who don't want to read this stuff could avoid it) - but I want people to at least understand the risks they're taking depending on how they go about it. If it's useful to you, then good, I'm genuinely glad! It just concerns me how it's being treated by the larger Internet right now.

(And, of course, that's all just my personal subjective opinion - take what you like, leave what you don't. You're more than welcome to disagree with me; this is not a make-or-break argument for me, just one I have strong feelings about xD)

#dni critical #rani talks #asked and answered #dragons-singing-softly #that was probably more of a soapbox than you bargained for sorry fbdklgjsf #do not @ me about my fandom examples i just grabbed random controversial ones off the top of my head #if that's what you prioritize out of this whole post you have entirely missed the point

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heretherebedork · 2 years

Note

I appreciate your response, when I said critique I didn’t mean not talking about depth, which I really enjoy doing, rather ones that nitpick every single thing (and I’m not talking about toxic themes, those are obvious!) where it doesn’t make it enjoyable to other people, when of course you should enjoy what you enjoy but when it comes to community at large it’s not a friendly place. Your critiques are my favorite to read because you add a lot of insight and go deeper into aspects that others don’t care to do and instead take it all face value. You give thoughtful reasons for why you have the opinions you do, I’m thankful for that, even if I may not agree. Critique is healthy but where does critique end and instead turn to just hate ranting? So many posts and ‘reviews’ not just on here but other places just end up being hate rants with no substance, or care to really analyze things. I am not against critique when it comes to consuming media, especially one’s I like. But I cannot fathom making it one’s life purpose to think negatively all the time. If someone enjoys that negativity, good for them, but being involved in a community being this way just sucks the fun out of everything.

As I said, I let people enjoy shows as they enjoy them. What do I know about how much fun they're having?

Honestly, I don't see those posts. I've curated my tumblr experience (and don't really go anywhere else) so that I avoid posts like that entirely. Even the people that I follow and disagree with can explain their point and view and always do.

I have, honestly, found this community to be mostly amazing. I've found an amazing place in here where I can express myself, think the way I do, analyze how and why I think it and share that with an entire world of people who appreciate it and it's, frankly, amazing.

So while there might be pockets out there of people that are entirely negative... I'm proof you can mostly avoid them? I've found my corner and I'm content here and if someone reblogs my stuff with negative tags I... complain on discord and otherwise ignore it.

Look, let's be honest, I definitely hate ranted about Fish Upon the Sky and My Extraordinary. I did explain it, but I went off on those shows to the point that people still know, for the most part, not to talk about those with me. (Seriously, FUTS dethroning My Extraordinary as the worst show I watched unwarned is still impressive.)

Fandom is a place that can be filled with people who seem to enjoy things in a way you'd never, ever imagine and make no sense to you. But you have to find the people you agree with and like and you use them to find more people that you enjoy. I'm extremely picky about who I follow because I want to feel comfortable on tumblr so I only follow after a certain amount of conversation... but that's me being wild.

I'm honored that you enjoy my style of critique and analysis! I hope you can find more people that can help you keep joy in this fandom and that you find a way to avoid the negativity you don't enjoy.

May all your critique be well-reasoned and all your negativity explained!

#thai bl #thaibl #bl drama #bl series #fandom #how to do fandom #there is no wrong way #by do your best my anon #asked and answered #yeah sorry y'all i'm super limited #and have to talk to you first #and be sure #if my dash moves fast i get twitchy #so i'm super limited

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suchalonelysunflower · 3 years

Text

All My Midnights With You (c.h)

Pairing: Calum Hood X doctor! Reader

Summary: How many midnights can you spend with a stranger? Or Four times you see Calum at a New Year’s Party and one time he didn’t.

Warnings: Fluff with a little bit of angst. Implied sexual relations. Mentions of surgery, hospital rooms and vomit. Mentions of alcohol. Language. Some grammatical mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 6.9 k

Author’s Note: So, i had to make a NYE fic with Cal after all the angst i threw the past few weeks, and I’ve been working on it for weeks now and I’m finally satisfied with it! Please remember that Reblogs, comments and feedback are more than welcome and encouraged! I really love to hear from you guys ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy reading 🦋💕🌻

Also Ps: I made the reader a doctor cause I was watching way more episodes than I should of Greys anatomy and I figured it made sense in the plot

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

Picture taken from Pinterest

One.

The party was loud. It’s not like you mind at all, you knew parties should be like that, it’s just that you’re not used to them anymore. But now, your residency was over and you could enjoy a little break from the neon white lights. You knew no one there besides your best friend, who quickly disappeared from your side to grab yourselves something to drink, leaving you alone amid people with funky hats and numbered glasses.

You didn’t mind, you knew their job as a radio host required them to be more social and if your hospital life taught you something is to know how to navigate through different environments with confidence, you were fine with watching people run around for fun for a change, drinks in their hands and hope in their eyes for the New Year.

You were standing at a corner of the room with your eyes wandering around the room, trying to find your friend amongst the sea of people. That was the first time you saw him.

Tall, with a black button-up shirt with rolled-up sleeves that displayed tattooed arms with various designs you couldn't figure out at a distance, head filled with black curls that were positioned in the most perfect way to make it seem like he didn’t put an effort on it at all, which you knew it must be a lie. His profile was immaculate, you thought since at a distance he looked like he could be sculpted from marble, especially when he smiled and his cheeks took over most of his face. His style wasn’t bad either, although you wouldn't go with a completely black outfit, you must admit that it suited him. At this point, you know you’ve been staring for quite some time, definitely more than it was allowed before it became creepy, but you couldn’t help it. He was beautiful in every single way.

Your friend came back a few minutes later, a drink in each hand to share with you. You thanked them as you quickly pulled your eyes from the stranger, starting a new conversation almost right away, hoping that the blush on your cheeks could disappear.

What you missed, though, was that handsome stranger looking back at you for a moment.

He didn’t notice your previous stare, but you can say that he was curious about the new face that just showed up at his friend’s party. Although he didn't linger on too much as he was quickly swayed away by his friends in different conversations, his eyes met yours from time to time and he could almost swear he saw you blush every time they did.

The party went by without a hitch. It was closer to midnight when the host, a tall man with curly dirty blond hair and the deepest dimples you’ve ever seen, stood in the middle of the room to announce the countdown.

People started to gather around the living room, making their way into the front and looking for someone to share the first kiss of the year, pushing you away from your friend while doing so. In a matter of seconds, you got lost in the sea of people again, you tried to push your way up to your friend again but it was almost useless. With a little huff, you turned around and knocked someone’s drink over.

“Oh my god,” You said, hiding your face in complete embarrassment “I am so sorry! I didn’t look where I was going, I-”

The man chuckled “It’s okay, sweetheart. It was a shit drink anyway”

You looked up and the sight in front of your eyes almost knocked you over. It was the same guy you were crushing on the whole night.

It was almost pathetic the way you seemed to lose all kinds of speech as you looked into his eyes. If you thought he was beautiful before, then you are sure he is breathtaking standing up close.

His brown eyes had such intensity it was impossible to look away, it was almost as he had locked you down with just a stare, and that’s without mentioning his smile. You couldn’t have noticed before, but his smile made his whole face shine, blinding you as you tried to find any kind of compliment that would fit him perfectly. How could someone have the perfect smile?

He chuckled again and you noticed that you were staring waaaay too long for it to be normal. You looked away and started fidgeting with your hands, how come you can perform surgeries and talk to other doctors and patients normally but you are at a loss of words when it comes to a cute guy?!

You were about to say something, anything to make the awkwardness of it all fade away. But the voices coming from the living room interrupted your train of thoughts again. You both looked at the crowd of people gathered a few meters away, they were all staring at the countdown on the TV as they cheered for the New Year to come.

“10, 9, 8,” They sang “5, 4, 3, 2, 1…”

And as the cheer of “Happy New Year” came, you felt two calloused hands cup your cheek and pull your face in another direction.

It was almost instantly when you felt the soft lips of that stranger on yours. The initial shock made you pull back a little before kissing him back. It was soft, sweet, and innocent, yet neither of you wanted to pull away first.

You brought your hands to the back of his neck and pulled him closer to you and his hands flew to hold your waist, still in awe of how perfectly your lips melted against his, almost like they were made for each other from the start.

But everything has an end and you both need to breathe. And, when you looked into his eyes again you knew he felt it too. There was something you couldn’t deny, call it chemistry or spark or fate, but that kiss felt like nothing you’ve ever felt before.

“Woah…” He whispered after pulling away, hands still on your waist as he tried to find an explanation for what just happened “I-”

“Calum!” Someone yelled, making both your heads snap towards an even taller guy with curly hair, seriously, where do you get these people?!

The stranger - whose name was Calum, apparently - let go of your waist as his drunk friend came over “Luke!” He said with a smile, but his eyes told another story. Was he annoyed at his friend for interrupting what was happening?

But Luke didn’t notice that, he just came over and rounded his arms around Calum’s shoulders, wishing him a happy new year and slowly walking him towards the crowd of people who were waiting for him.

You stood there shocked, not knowing what to do or what just happened. But you did notice the way he looked at you, an apology plastered into his face as he was dragged into the sea of people where you lost him once again for the rest of the night.

Two.

Another year, another party.

This time though, your friend didn’t need you to drag you out of the house like they always did because you happily agreed to attend. You told yourself it was because you needed a break from the emergency room, but if you were completely honest, it was because of the hope of seeing him again.

You haven’t seen or heard about Calum since that night at the beginning of the year. Of course, you knew you wouldn’t, you never exchanged numbers nor introduced yourselves properly and your friend told you that they didn’t know him well enough to try to hook you up and that might seem unprofessional on their part, which was right. You told yourself that it was fine and probably for the best since you started getting busier with your job, so you moved on.

Yet, that kiss still lingers on the back of your head. Yes, you went on dates and kissed other people too, but that kiss was something else and you knew he knew it too.

Subconsciously you hoped for him to remember you, to think about that kiss as often as you did. You knew it was a long shot, an almost impossible dream that could only come true in movies or cliche storybooks. After all, you were one of many people he knew and he didn’t even talk to you for more than 3 minutes! One of which you spent in awkward silence and the other you spent kissing.

And even then, your heart dared to hope.

You arrived somewhat early since your friend told you they might be a little bit late so you could ahead and meet them there. And, luckily for you, you didn’t have to go that far into the party to find a familiar face. It just so happens that this familiar face was the same face that overtook your dreams for the past year.

He looked different this time, his hair was much shorter but still held onto the curls that distinguished him from the others. He was not wearing black this time as he chose a simple outfit of jeans and a button-up white shirt with the first few buttons open enough to expose his chest and a feather tattoo that you haven’t noticed before. He was laughing along to what his friend said, sipping on his beer every few moments. You didn’t think he noticed you, but your heart skipped a beat when he looked your way and smiled.

You thought about going in and say hi, maybe even introducing yourself in the hopes that he would remember you, but you needed some liquid courage before even attempting to speak again. So instead of walking towards him, you found yourself making a B-line to the kitchen.

The kitchen wasn’t as crowded as you thought it would be, a few people here and there but they were minding their own business, something you were thankful for because you didn’t know what had come over you. You cursed under your breath, you just made a fool out of yourself! He might think you are a stalker or-

“Didn’t think of saying hello?” A voice called next to you.

You stopped the thoughts running in your head as you looked to the side, almost spilling your drink when you found the eyes you were dreaming of for over a year staring back at you.

He was smiling, a hint of tease shined on his eyes as he laid against the counter. He was still just as handsome but, weirdly enough, it wasn’t as intimidating as before. You could almost say you felt somewhat safe around him, comfortable even.

You smiled at him just the same, your sudden fear of talking to him quickly faded away. You already shared a kiss, how bad of a conversation could it be?

“Why would I say hello when we didn’t even say goodbye?” You teased, making him laugh.

If you thought his smile was beautiful, nothing prepared you for his laugh.

“Touché,” He said, extending his hand towards you “I’m Calum, by the way. Calum Hood”

You shook his hand as well “Nice to meet you, Calum. I’m Y/N”

“Pretty name for a little pretty thing like you” You laughed “I can’t believe it took us a year to finally meet. Are you an Angel or something? So you only show up when needed?”

“Are you always this charming or am I just lucky?” And that was the start of the evening.

You talked the whole night. You found out that he is the bassist of a rather famous band, he teased you about never hearing of them before and you told him that your job didn’t give you enough time to listen to music that wasn't in an elevator. When you told him that you were a doctor, he completely changed the conversation towards you, asking you questions and really getting into it as you explained to him the weirdest things you saw in the ER.

The more and more you talked you knew he was special. He made you laugh and was interested in what you had to say. He answered all your questions and talked about his family and how much he misses them around this time and it surprised you how intelligent and connected he was with his emotions. The deeper you went into the conversation, the more hooked you got.

“I’m sorry I left last year,” He said after a while. You were both standing outside in the garden as the commotion of the party became too much for both of you. So you just talked while staring at the big dark sky above you.

“Don’t be” You reassured him “We didn’t know each other and I’m surprised you remembered me at all” You laughed, but Calum didn’t follow.

“I don’t think I could forget you,” He said in a serious tone, making you turn to look at him to see if he was joking. By his face, you could tell he wasn't “I asked Ashton about you like a bunch of times, but I don’t think he even knew you were here… he’s a great host, don’t get me wrong, he just sucks on making the guest lists small enough to remember all the plus ones” He chuckled.

“You asked about me?”

“I had to know who my midnight kisser was,” He shrugged. “Almost thought I was drunk dreaming or something until I saw you enter the house tonight. I was so glad you remembered me and you didn’t think I was just a creep in the kitchen”

You both laughed this time “Well, lucky for you, I couldn't forget you either, even if I tried”

Calum chuckled as he stepped closer to you, his nose almost touching yours. One step closer and you would be in the same position you were a year before, only this time you were both sure you wanted this.

“And what about tonight?” Calum asked as one of his hands rounded your waist, making your breath hitch “Would you forget about tonight?”

You looked into his eyes, but he had his gaze fixed on your lips, waiting for just one word from you to feel them pressed against his again. You felt your soul leave your body as you realized how much you wanted this.

“I-I guess we’ll have to wait until midnight to find that out” You whispered, and, just as you said that, a thousand lights illuminated the night sky in the far distance.

You pulled away when you heard the first firework, staring in awe while Calum took his phone out of his pocket and started giggling. He showed you the time and it was in fact midnight of the New Year. You couldn’t believe your eyes.

“You timed that shit, didn’t you?” You laughed, but your voice soon drowned out as he cupped your cheek like he did last year and pulled you closer to him.

“If I told you I didn't, would you still want to kiss me?” He asked. You answered him by crashing your lips into his.

The fireworks went off in the sky and around your head, that’s the effect Calum had on you. The kiss was much different from last year’s, this one was more passionate, more mature as you both knew what you were doing. It had a different meaning now that you started to get to know one another, and you hoped you would continue to do so once the kiss was over and midnight came to pass.

You were glad to know that the spark was still there, this time even brighter than ever as he deepened the kiss a few moments later. You knew it was way too soon to think about love, but when you thought about kissing Calum, you hoped it could go on forever and ever.

This time, he pulled away first “You feel it too, right?” He asked in a breath as he held you closer.

You wanted to say yes, to scream it even. You knew about “the kiss” every single romantic movie talks about, the one everyone dreams to have at least once, and you knew this was it. Yet, all you could do was nod.

He brought your face close to him again, ready to seal your lips together one more time… you could guess what happened next.

“For fuck’s sake” Calum murmured as he heard the backdoor opening and his name being called out by one of his bandmates, Michael, you guessed since he was the only one you didn’t know already.

You could tell he was about to cuss Michael for his interruption, but you were quicker.

“Hey, it’s okay” You reassured him “You have people to see and I need to make myself a drink anyways”

Calum smiled at you, thanking you for understanding but still wishing he could stay with you a little longer, all night if it was necessary. He was about to say something when Michael called his name again. This time, Calum flipped him off.

“I’ll find you later, okay?” He said, pressing a small kiss to your lips before disappearing into the house again.

You followed him after a while and went directly into the kitchen to make yourself another drink. The smile you wore grew bigger every time you thought about the kiss and how it was almost ten times better than the first one.

Your mind started wandering towards a future where you could kiss Calum every time you wanted, where you could share evenings and go on dates and travel the world… You found yourself not minding that at all.

But before your fantasies could go any further, your friend came running towards you “There you are!” They said, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you! We need to go”

“W-what, why?!”

“The host is gone and they are kicking everyone out” They said with a shrug “His band also took off”

Calum left? Without saying goodbye again? “Where did they go?”

“From what I heard, their management asked them to go and perform some songs in a party downtown, apparently one of the bands who were going to perform originally couldn’t make it and they were called in replacement”

Okay, you couldn't get mad at that, it was his job after all and it was an emergency he couldn’t help. Still, the disappointment of not being able to see each other again tonight stung like a bee.

As you were waiting for the Uber outside of Ashton’s house, your friend asked “Hey, found your mystery kisser?” They liked to refer to Calum like that, even though they knew who he was.

You smiled “Yeah…”

“Got his number this time, right?”

Oh shit.

Three.

You were late. You were soooo late and you hated that.

Well, it’s not exactly your fault, the patient in room 304 started vomiting all around and it wasn’t his fault either that he needed to go into surgery right after (successfully if I may add) At least your job gives you good excuses.

You just hoped it wasn’t too late and that Calum would still be there.

Another year has passed and you haven’t seen each other at all since that last night in January. You knew that he was touring all year round with his band, at least you knew he was happy doing what he loved. You also tried to contact him through social media, the only problem was that you weren’t the only one and your message probably got lost between the thousands and thousands he got every day. So you spent yet another year thinking of him and dreaming about the kiss that you two shared.

This night, if everything goes right, you would change that. You wouldn’t disappear without at least giving him your number, if he still wanted it, of course. And you wouldn’t disappear without telling him how you feel.

Decidedly, you open the doors to Ashton’s house, and, just as fate’s decided, the first face you see is him.

Calum spotted you immediately, almost like he was waiting for you, and his face softened the instant he realized you were finally there. He wasted no time in walking towards the door and grabbing your hand to pull you upstairs. You didn’t even have the chance to say anything as he opened one of the doors and pulled you inside, locking it and pushing you against the door, pressing his lips on yours.

And there it was again: fireworks.

You placed your hands over his chest as you got lost inside your kiss, it felt just as good as you remembered, better even. You wondered if every time you kissed was going to be like that: utterly magical.

“It’s not midnight yet” You laughed when you pulled away to breathe. Calum chuckled.

“I don’t care,” He said with a raspy, needy voice, pressing kisses along your forehead, your nose, your cheek, your lips “I can’t wait until midnight and deal with the fear of having to leave again”

“Well, aren’t you quite the Cinderella?” You teased, making you both laugh “Are-are we really in a closet right now?” You said, taking in your surroundings in the dimmed light.

“I-.. yes” You burst out laughing again “I wanted some privacy and I thought this was the guest room!”

You silenced him with another kiss, this time sweeter than the previous one “Well, I think is cute”

Calum sighed “I’m tired of both of us not making it after midnight, I don’t think I want another year without seeing you again,” He said, stroking your face with the back of his hand.

“So, what’s the plan?”

He smiled “First, we get out of here” You grabbed his hand and nodded.

You let Calum lead the way, not just to get out of the closet, but also to get out of the house and the party completely. He took you to his car and told you to hop in.

“You are not going to murder me, aren’t you? I have house plants to take care of” He laughed.

“No, that’s the plan for Valentine’s Day” Calum teased and your heart fluttered at the thought of spending Valentine's day with him. Has he really thought about you that way as well?

He jumped in the car and started driving you around the city and through the coast as you talked about everything and anything at the same time. You catch up on your lives as you ate some MacDonalds’ you picked up on your way and you sang your lungs out to the tunes that came out on the radio to celebrate yet another year gone.

You swore you couldn’t be happier and you smiled knowing Calum felt the same.

“..And that’s why I was late today” You laugh.

“I would’ve waited for you the whole night through. But I will admit I thought you’ve given up on me” Calum said, holding your hand while turning around a street you were unfamiliar with “I wouldn't blame you if you did. But I really wanted to see you tonight”

You tugged on his hand “I told you I wouldn’t forget about you even if I tried” He smiled at that.

A few minutes later he parked his car in front of a house “It’s almost midnight” He said, unbuckling his seatbelt “And I thought that maybe this time we can spend it where no one would interrupt” You could tell that he was a bit embarrassed, but the thought of it was really sweet and you would be lying if you said you didn’t want this too.

“So this is your home,” You said as a matter of factly. Calum nodded “Then lead the way, Cal”

Once inside, he poured you a glass of wine and you sat in the living room and kept talking till midnight came around. When the clock struck 12, you were already lost in Calum’s eyes. There was something hypnotic about them that you can’t quite figure out, but also don’t want to. It was a beautiful mystery and you rather that it stayed that way.

“You won’t disappear after midnight?” You asked, face inches away from him.

“I don’t plan on going anywhere, baby,” He said as he closed the gap between the two of you.

This time there was no rush, no firework spectacle in the sky nor noisy friends who could ruin the moment you both had been waiting for an entire year. The kiss held the same passion as the ones that came before, yet you could sense in the way he moved that there was something more in this kiss, a need that only the two of you could satisfy.

“Why does every time I kiss you feel like the first time?” He asked, hands circling your waist and pulling you over his lap in a quick movement as his mouth traveled along your jaw and down your neck “Do you still remember that first time?”

You smiled, hands tangling in his curls as he left a trail of open kisses from your ear to your collarbone “I remember” You said as a breathy moan leaves your lips “I had a huge crush on you since the first time that I saw you” You confess.

Calum hums “Good thing then,” He hovered his lips over yours, gripping your hips as you started moving against him “Cause I had a crush on you since I saw you looking at me across the room”

You brought your hand to cup his cheek and kissed him as your life depended on it. This was nothing like that first kiss you shared, this was needy, dirty, sloppy… The innocence of it all crumbled away as you started to grind on him even harder than before and moaning into his ear.

Calum held your hips as he felt you press against his growing, groaning as you picked up the pace “Is this okay?” He asked, looking into your eyes for reassurance “We can stop if you want, I-”

“Calum,” You said, stopping your movements altogether, “I want this. I want you”

Next thing you know, he was kissing you again, lifting you, and carrying you to his room.

You don’t know what time it is when your phone starts ringing. You just know it’s either very late or super early. You untangled yourself from Calum who had his arm around your waist as he pulled you closer while you slept. The curly-haired man mumbled something unintelligible before turning around and going back to bed. You smiled at the sight, if you weren’t in love before then you sure are now.

The phone kept ringing, so you put on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt you assumed belonged to Calum and went downstairs where you left your phone.

“Hello?” You said as you picked it up.

“Dr. L/N? It’s Lou, from the hospital. I was assigned to Mr. Minkus-” A panicked voice said.

You froze when you remembered the patient from earlier, the one who needed an emergency surgery “Is everything okay?”

“He went into cardiac arrest a few minutes ago but we managed to control it. But he is still very weak and needs surgery right now before he-”

“I’m on my way”

You ran into Calum’s room without making much noise. You changed into your clothes and called an Uber. You hated to do it when he was still sound asleep in his bed, but people needed you and you needed to go, he will surely understand.

As the Uber parked outside, you almost forgot to leave him a note, so you scrabbled your number and your name in a random piece of paper, telling him to call you so you could explain everything when he woke up and placed it in the pocket of the jacket he wore the night before, since it was the only thing close to the door at that moment, hoping he won’t be mad when he calls.

So you slipped in your shoes and left. Leaving the man you were surely falling in love with, sleeping safe and soundly on his bed.

Four.

You were at another party at Ashton’s house and this time you were alone.

Calum was standing a few meters away from you with his hands around another’s waist.

“This is the reason,” You thought as you watched him give his significant other a kiss on the cheek “This is the reason he never called or texted after you had sex”

You felt used. Worse than trash itself as you realized he used you for a night’s only fun.

You shouldn’t even feel bad, you barely knew him after all. But why does it hurt so bad?

A year ago you thought you might love him and that he might love you… guess not.

Calum caught your eye after a while, they seem sad. Why? He is the one holding another person in his arms on New Year’s Eve.

And you are on your own. That’s what you get for believing in fairy tales.

He is still staring when you turn around to leave.

You are not waiting until midnight this year.

Five.

Calum is staring at the door like a guard dog. He doesn’t know why he is waiting for you to come around this year, after all, you were the one who left him on New Year’s day almost two years ago. He shouldn’t be waiting for you and yet, he does.

He was mad at first. Furious even, when he woke up the next day and you were gone. Not even a single word for him to find comfort with. He knew he was in love with you from the first moment he saw you and then… you left. He knew he deserved it after the times he had to leave unexpectedly, but he was still heartbroken.

The boys tried to help him, setting him up on dates that meant nothing to him. Nothing like you, at least. Their kisses didn’t light up a flame inside of him, nor made him feel like the king of the world just by laying beside them. No, that was something only you could do.

He tried to start a new relationship by the New Year, yet that came crashing down quickly after a few weeks into January. He still remembered the way you looked that night, the way your eyes filled with tears as you walked away again. He knows he should've felt something in the lines of pride or comfort or even happiness to show you that he could move on without you, but all that he felt was the tugging on his heartstrings when he saw you in pain.

So, maybe that is why he is waiting for you now. He needs to see you again, just one more time and then he’ll know what to do. He will either let go or hold on to you, whatever you give him he will take. But it’s getting late and you are nowhere to be seen.

The fear of you not showing up takes him by surprise. You might as well be at home, or at somebody else’s party wrapped in someone else’s arms for all he knows. He might’ve lost you but.. who lost who first? How could anyone be winning when all he feels is an emptiness at the possibility of not seeing you again? Even though you left him and not the other way around, he is still looking for you.

A loud thud and a scream came near the living room and shook him from his thoughts. Calum got up to his feet as people started yelling for an ambulance. He ran as fast as he could and found Ashton laying on the floor with his foot twisted to the side… it did not look good.

“Mate, what the fuck?” He asked shocked, he knew nothing about ankles and their anatomies, but it was obvious they weren’t supposed to look like that.

“I fell down the stairs and I think I broke something” Ashton hissed in pain “Have you been drinking?” He asked Calum who shook his head, already knowing the next question.

“Come, I’ll take you to the hospital”

They left Luke in charge of the party as they headed towards the nearest hospital they could find. Calum silently lamented not being there anymore in case you showed up, but he wasn’t going to let his best friend stay in a hospital room alone, especially on New Year's Eve.

Once they reached the emergency room, the nurses put Ashton in a wheelchair and took him for examination. A few minutes later he was back and now they moved him to a little bed in the corner of the room as they waited for the doctor to come by.

“I’m sorry I took you away from meeting Y/N again,” Said Ashton after a while.

Calum shook his head “Don’t be. Maybe we weren’t meant to happen after all”

But Calum knew that wasn’t true. He was a big believer in fate and that everything happened for a reason. He knew that seeing you every New Year’s Eve and sharing that kiss with you at midnight had to mean something, it couldn’t just be coincidences without a motive, a reason for that to keep happening. Yet, this would be the second year he has to spend midnight without you by his side. Maybe fate was trying to tell him something he just didn’t want to accept just yet.

And just as that thought came running through his head, the doctor opened the curtain that gave a little privacy to Ashton’s little corner. Calum almost loses his breath for a minute.

“Okay, Mr. Irwin it looks like- oh shit” You looked up from your tablet with the medical records and almost dropped it when you found Calum sitting in front of you. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

You just stare at each other for a few seconds, everything else faded away. Calum thought you looked different with your white coat and your standard uniform, yet none of that made you less breathtaking than you already were, it made you even more beautiful to his eyes.

At first, you thought it was some kind of prank. You changed shifts to work in New Year so that you won’t see his face and here he is. At your job. Next to his friend with a broken ankle.

You cleared your throat and looked away, suddenly finding Ashton’s foot a lot more interesting than it really was.

“Sorry. Looks like you broke your ankle, nothing too serious but you will have to put on a cast so it heals quicker” You didn’t look at Calum, you couldn’t “The ortho specialist will be here shortly. I’m just here to making sure the meds are working fine and that nothing else hurts”

Ashton smiled at you, it was supposed to be comforting but you saw a glimpse of teasing in them, oh this must be so funny to him “Thanks Doc”

You smiled at him and shook your head, eyes drifting towards Calum for just one second before saying “It’s not a problem, Happy New Year” and walking away.

The thoughts were running through your mind like the roadrunner. You did everything you could to avoid meeting him tonight and he still makes an appearance. Unbelievable.

You didn’t even make it five steps before Calum ran up to you “Y/N! Wait”

“I’m at work, Calum” You hissed, not turning around to face him just yet

“Yet we are your only patients” It was true, surprisingly enough, the ER has never been so quiet before. Even the nurses went to hide behind a desk to wait for midnight and drink alcohol-free cider.

You sighed tiredly, you didn’t want to play this game anymore. You slowly turned around and placed your tablet on the empty desk “What do you want from me, Cal? What do you want me to say?”

“Maybe start by saying why you left that morning without telling me?” His eyes were fixed on you, yet they weren’t angry or disappointed. They were expectant, curious about what you were going to say. He knew that this was it, the hold on or let go conversation, and how he hoped to hold on.

You, on the other hand, looked at him like he was crazy “Without saying anything? Calum I left you a note! I had an emergency surgery to attend, I explained it all there and I even left you my number! You were the one who never called and then showed up with a date the next year. How do you think that made me feel, you idiot?!”

“What note? There was no note!” He asked, clearly confused about this new information.

You groaned with exasperation, how can he be so dense? “In your coat, Calum! I left it in the pocket of the blue coat you wore that night, I couldn’t find anywhere else to put it as I was heading out”

Calum stayed silent, trying to remember the exact coat you were talking about. And, in a flash, it all came back to him. He was an idiot.

He covered his face with the palm of his hand, mortified for what he was about to say “I washed the coat the next day as it got stains of food in it” He said with a groan “I found a piece of paper in the coat after I washed it, it was destroyed and I thought it was the receipt of the food from the night before”

You stared at Calum for a moment before bursting out laughing.

Calum, on the other hand, didn’t find it as amusing as you. But the more he thought about it the more ridiculous it sounded, so he soon joined you in a fit of giggles.

All of the hurt you both endured, the pain and the heartbreak… it was all for a misunderstanding caused by detergent?

“Oh my god,” You said as you tried to catch your breath, “I thought you were done with me after we-”

“I thought you were done with me!” He replied, both of you coming down from your highs.

“Calum, I could never. I told you I would never, not even if I tried” You said with a sigh “But seeing you with another after that... “

“It meant nothing,” He assured, walking up closer to you “I admit I tried to get over you cause I didn’t know what else to do. I was falling in love with you and then you disappeared without a trace. I was so angry. But as soon as I saw you that night I knew I could never be over you, even if what we have only last until midnight”

You chuckled “We can never win past that point, can we?”

“We can try,” He said, his arm around your waist and he pulled you closer “I want to try, Y/N. I assure you I cannot make it another year without at least going on a date with you. If you let me, of course. Cause I think we’ll be pretty good together, don’t you think?”

“I think we will. As long as you check your pockets before throwing something at the washer. Cause I was falling for you too, and I don’t think I ever stopped” You threw your arms around his neck, pulling your face closer to his. You missed him like this.

You missed all of him, really. You don’t know exactly what it is that draws you to him, why after all this time of meeting once a year you feel like you knew him since forever. It was new but at the same time so familiar. You know it should scare you, but you feel safer than ever wrapped around his arms “Is it midnight yet?”

Calum shook his head and pointed to the clock upon the wall. Ten seconds.

“Nine, eight, seven…”

“Six, five, Four, three, two..”

“One.” You both said in unison as your lips met again. The kiss that you awaited all year long was finally here and it was full of promise. The promise of a future together, of security and love.

You were sure it could not be a coincidence that every year you spend it by his side, that from the moment you met, no other thought has filled your head. Every piece of you seemed to be molded perfectly to fit him and vice versa. The connection was too strong to ignore and, if you believed in soulmates, then there was no doubt Calum was yours. After all, you went through to meet every year, you knew it must be fate that brought you two together, that and a broken ankle.

Speaking of that…

“HAPPY NEW YEAR” Came Ashton’s loud voice from the corner of the room. Making you both break away from the kiss to laugh.

“He just had to keep up with the tradition of interrupting us,” Calum laughed.

“Please tell me you didn’t push him down the stairs to come and see me” You giggled as you took his hand in yours and walked up to Ashton to keep him company.

“I would’ve thrown myself from the stairs if it meant I would get to see you, darling”

That night you finally gave him your number and planned a date for the next day. But not even five minutes after they were gone, you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket.

“Hello?”

“I had to make sure!” You laughed as you heard Calum’s voice through the speaker.

“See you tomorrow, Cal?”

“And for all the days and years to come, baby”

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @mystic-232

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winterfluffs · 3 years

Text

Santa Isn’t Real.....Right?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Summary: Someone has told your daughter that Santa isn’t real. Your husband is not too pleased.

Warnings: Mostly fluff. A couple of swear words. Tiiiiiiiniest bit of implied smut.

Word count: 2.4k

Author’s notes: Thank you all so much to the people who have liked or reblogged the first story that was posted (I have now figured out how to make a cut!). It really means a lot! This drabble, one-shot - whatever you’d like to call it was so much fun to write; just in time for Christmas! I hope you all like it as well. Also, it is a LONG one.

Merry Christmas, everyone! Happy Holidays!

(* “Honey, go to bed.”)

“Who told my kid that Santa isn’t real?!” A voice boomed through the halls, heavy footsteps quickly stomping through the quiet compound.

“Shit. Hide.” Clint Barton's eyes widened as he looked around at the people spread out in the living room. The heavy footsteps came quicker causing everyone in the room to run back to their rooms fear of what was going to happen.

----

“Daddy!” A tiny teary voice cried out from the hallway.

Bucky Barnes groggily opened his eyes, his ears immediately picking up on the soft crying. “Whsm?” He grumbled before sitting up and rubbing at his tired eyes. It was only 2 A.M. and he had just gotten to sleep an hour and a half ago.

“Buck?” He felt you stir, your hand reaching out to pull his body back to yours.

“Daddy.” The soft crying was closer, coming from the doorway of yours and his bedroom.

“Belley?” you mumbled sitting up next to Bucky. A yawn escaped both your lips as your sniffling four-year-old daughter crawled up the bed. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

“Daddy.” Isabelle looked at her father with tear filled blue eyes, her bottom lip quivering as Bucky wrapped his arms around her.

“It’s okay, baby. Daddy’s here.” He cooed sweetly in her ear his vibranium hand making slow comforting circles on her back.

You watched as Bucky whispered sweet words in your daughter’s ear in an attempt to calm her down from whatever had shaken her; your heart ready to burst with love at the sight.

“Belley, tell daddy what’s wrong.” He cradled her close, rocking her in a comforting sway.

“Santa isn’t real!” the little girl sobbed, her tiny hands wrapping around her father’s neck while she cried into his chest.

Bucky's jaw clenched as he looked at you with slight worry. James Barnes had always been beautiful to you; but right now, seeing his jaw clench and already knowing what was going through his mind, he was breathtaking. He was in protector mode – a way he had always been with you but became even more fierce when your daughter was born. The day he found out you were pregnant he swore no one would ever hurt his little girl. Ever. And if someone did, he would make them pay.

“Baby, what do you mean Santa isn’t real? Of course Santa is real.” You joined your other half in trying to soothe your daughter’s tears.

“No! Santa isn’t real!” she spat back at you before clinging back onto her father.

Your mind went back to the day you both found out you were expecting. Bucky knew, without a doubt, the baby would be a girl; his princess, a complete daddy’s girl, the spitting image of the dark-haired, blue-eyed man that had stolen your heart.

And she was.

From the moment Isabelle Marie Barnes made her entrance in this world she had her father wrapped around her little fingers. Everything Bucky did was for you and your little miracle. All the late nights staying up to finish a report, the even later nights spent training, his reluctance to do missions that would take him away from home for too long – it all was for you and your baby.

Bucky refused to be a dad that wouldn’t be there for his child, and to yours and Bucky's surprise, the rest of the team had agreed as well. Steve and Tony especially.

You blinked away the tears that were forming in your eyes, shaking off the sudden emotions to hormonal changes due to your being six-and-a-half-months pregnant with your second child.

“Baby, you need to tell me what happened.” Bucky’s jaw twitched again. You saw the anger forming in his eyes and placed a loving hand on his arm, squeezing it slightly. He looked at you, his resolve coming undone as he met your gaze. “Honey, Santa is very real. How else do you think you get presents on Christmas Eve?” he spoke quietly, deep blue eyes looking into even deeper bluer eyes.

Isabelle stayed quiet yet looked between you and her dad. “Sweetheart, did you have a bad dream?” you moved her long tangled dark hair away from her face. She looked so much like her father your heart ached.

Isabelle shook her head pouting while doing so.

“It’s okay, baby. You can tell mommy and daddy what happened. We won’t get mad.” You smiled at her yet gave your husband a stern look. The super soldier rolled his eyes then kissed your little girl’s hair, his head resting on top of hers. “Right, daddy?”

Bucky shot you a look then sighed heavily. “Mommy and daddy won’t get mad, sweetheart. We promise.”

Feeling slightly better at your admission, Isabelle sat down on her father’s lap, her tiny fingers running along Bucky’s vibranium arm. “I was in my room when I heard a noise.”

“Honey, that was just daddy going to bed.” Bucky let out a loud laugh, the tension instantly gone from his face.

“Daddy, let me finish.” She looked back at him with a stern look. The same look you always gave him whenever he was teetering the thin line between being stupid and wanting to sleep on the couch.

“Sorry.” You both hid a smile; you still in awe at how formal your child was at the age of four. Maybe it was the enhanced serum in her veins, or maybe it was just your thickheaded stubbornness, but your daughter was an absolute force to reckon with. So much so that she even gave Black Widow a run for her money.

“I heard a noise and went out to see what it was.” She sniffed, her head resting against Bucky’s chest.

“Honey, you know you should have been in bed.” You sighed suddenly feeling exhausted.

“Mommy. You promised.” Her dark blue eyes landed on you.

“Yeah, mommy.” Bucky smirked giving you a playful look. You rolled your eyes yet couldn’t help but smile as well.

“I went out in the living room and saw someone taking presents from the tree! I asked if he was Santa and the man said that Santa wasn’t real.” Isabelle’s bottom lip quivered causing your heart to ache.

Bucky’s face had gone hard. The twitch in his jaw told you everything you needed to know.

“Honey, Santa is most definitely real. Right, daddy?” you urged your husband to smile, pleading with him not to say anything.

“Yeah, baby. Santa’s real.” He spoke lowly, his eyes focusing on the open door.

“How do you know, daddy?” Isabelle looked up hope filling her pretty eyes.

“Oh, I never told you before?” he snapped out of his trance and looked down at his daughter.

“No! Tell me what! Daddy!” she bounced in his lap; her previous worries quickly turned into curiosity.

“I’m going to tell you but you have to promise you won’t tell anyone.” He whispered.

“Not even mommy?” her eyes widened.

“Mommy already knows.” He gave you a smile as you rested your head on his shoulder.

“What I’m about to tell you is very important. You have to promise me you won’t tell a single word to anyone.”

“Not Uncle Steve?”

“Not Uncle Steve.”

“Not even Aunt Tasha?!”

“Not even Aunt Natasha.”

Isabelle looked up to face her father, the look of awe and wonder etched on her brow made Bucky almost break. He loved nothing more in his life than you, your daughter, and the little one growing inside of you; his heart clenched at the thought of any of you ever being unhappy.

“Okay, daddy.” Isabelle nodded her head seriously.

Your husband kissed you on the top of your head with a smile before turning back to your daughter. “I know Santa is real because I’ve seen him myself.” He whispered causing Isabelle to gasp out loud.

“You…..ve seen Santa.” She whispered, her little mind spinning with the newly found news.

“Sure have. One Christmas Eve I was coming home late from work, even later than it is right now, and when I opened the door, there was a big man in a red suit with a long white beard. He had the biggest sack of presents I have ever seen. I tried to sneak away but he caught me.” Bucky’s eyes widened to match his daughter’s, her little body clinging to his every word.

“What happened next?”

“He looked at me and said, ‘James Barnes, I know what you seek in life, what you have always sought out. By midday today you will have found what you are looking for.’ And then with a smile and a wink, he flew up the chimney.”

“Wowwwwww!” Isabelle gaped in disbelief. Her daddy! And Santa Claus! Clearly Santa was real because daddy knew everything and she also knew that daddy would never lie to her. Of course Santa was real! There was just one thing still bothering her. “Dad, what did Santa mean when he said all that weird stuff to you?”

“He meant that I would find mommy. He gave me your mommy. And then he gave me you. My best girls.”

You looked up to find him beaming at the both of you. Your heart burst with love for him and your little family. Your one true love and happiness.

“I think it’s time we all get back to bed. We don’t want to miss Santa!” You gasped suddenly. “I think I hear footprints on the roof!”

“Oh no, mommy!” your little one gasped and flew off the bed racing down the hall to her bedroom.

“I love you, Barnes. Thank you for always taking such good care of us.” You whispered your eyes meeting your husband’s.

“I love you, doll. More than you both will ever know.” He smiled and kissed you gently. “Let’s go make sure she’s actually in bed.” He laughed while wrapping his arm around your waist and hugging you close as you walked to your daughter’s room.

----

“Night, munchkin. Olive you.” Bucky kissed his daughter’s forehead then pulled away with a smile.

“Olive you, daddy.” Isabelle giggled while hugging her favorite stuffed animal to her.

“Tuck the little one in and I’ll meet you back in bed. I have something to finish first but I’ll meet you straight back there.”

“Babe, you aren’t going to do something stupid.” You gave him a look. That same look your four-year-old gave him just a little while ago. When your husband refused to meet your eye, you tried again. “James.” His cool blue eyes stared back into yours, a hint of threat still clouding his vision as he quietly cursed himself for inability to hide his emotions from you. “Baby, please.”

Bucky sighed then nodded. He hated to love when you used his first name to get him to calm down. No one else had that power over him, and there was absolutely NO ONE else allowed to call him by his first name other than you. And maybe Santa, if Isabelle was asking.

“Thank you.” You mouthed before turning to your little one. “Night, baby.” You kissed your daughter’s head with a tired smile. It was just past 3 A.M. and you wanted nothing more than to slip back into your warm bed, your arms around your husband as the both of you drifted off to sleep. “I love you, kiddo. Get some sleep.”

“I love you. Night, mommy.” She yawned sleepily. You quietly shut the door and went to turn back to your bedroom. You were halfway down the hall when you knew something wasn’t right. And then you heard the yelling. You swore under your breath and ran to the main living room, hoping you would be able to stop your husband before it was too late.

----

“Who told my kid that Santa isn’t real?!” Bucky Barnes’s deep voice boomed through the quiet compound, his footsteps heavy and quick.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Clint swore as he tripped over himself as he tried to reach his room before he was caught.

“If I find out –“ Bucky stopped himself mid-sentence his eyes sweeping over every inch of the room. “Barton, if it was you - so help me God! You had better run for your life!”

“Bucky! *Дорогая, иди спать. [ Dorogaya, idti spat’].”

Bucky turned to face the voice that had just spoken out. A surprised look overtook him for a moment before he started to laugh. “Since when do you know Russian?” he smiled and walked over to you, his previous mission already forgotten as he slipped his arms around your waist.

“Since I married a really sexy Russian Sergeant. Had to know all those dirty words he was moaning in bed.”

“I’m from New York.” He moaned against your lips, pulling your body closer his striking blue eyes staring into your own.

“Still moan dirty Russian things in bed.” You smile and bring your lips to his. Bucky held you there loving the feeling of how close you two are. “I love you, Sergeant Barnes.”

“I love you, Mrs. Barnes.” He smiled while hugging you close. “Let’s get to bed. Don’t want to be awake for when Santa comes.”

“I’ll be right there.” You kissed your husband and patted his butt with a smile as he walked off. You went around turning out the lights stopping at the beautifully lit tree when you heard a door creak.

“He’s gone, Barton. You can come out now.” You called out into the darkness with a laugh. “You owe me.”

“Oh, I’m not Clint, Mrs. Barnes,” a voice replied with a chuckle in their voice. “But I am sure he will still say thank you anyway.” The voice chuckled again; this time louder, deeper causing your eyes to widen.

You hurried down the hall, trying your best to keep quiet until you reached your room.

“Babe, what are you doing?” Bucky sleepily looked at you as you ran into the room and dashed under the covers.

“I think Santa is in our living room.” You whispered into the dark. You felt your husband chuckle, his body warm and inviting as he pulled you in closer.

“Get some sleep. It’s been a long day and our little one will have us up in only a few hours.” He yawned cuddling into your body.

‘Maybe I am going crazy.’ You shook your head with a smile as your eyes slowly began to close. Just before you drifted off you whispered a goodnight to Santa almost feeling silly to be saying the words out loud.

Just then you heard a woosh and with a small chuckle a voice said, “To all a good night!”

#Bucky Barnes x Reader #Bucky Barnes drabble #Bucky Barnes one shot #Christmas Eve Eve #WinterFluffs #Bucky Barnes #Daddy Bucky #Kids are so cute #Especially at Christmas #Santa Isn't Real #Right?#James Buchanan Barnes #Christmas prompt

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slapshot-to-the-heart · 3 years

Text

Gold Rush

Finally venturing into writing for Brock, and so excited to put this out there!! Very appreciative of the encouragement I’ve gotten throughout this from @brockadoodles who had (rightfully so, man deserves it) made loving Brock her BRAND. If there was any hockey who’s made to be a dad, it’s Brock Boeser, and I’ve genuinely loved getting to put this together. Love hearing feedback and what your favorite parts were, so reblog and pop into my inbox!

word count: 3.8k+

Brock had loved kids his whole life. Being around them, looking after them, the first day a kid asked him to autograph his jersey was burned into his brain alongside precious few other memories, most of the others involving you. And anyone who had ever seen him with Easton could tell that Brock Boeser loved babies. He had wanted kids since he was old enough to know what being a dad was, and knew so strongly that was a path he wanted — needed, honestly, there was too much love in his heart to not share it with everyone he could — that he wouldn’t ever have let things get serious with you if that wasn’t a life you wanted for yourself. Parenthood wasn’t for everyone, and he never held it against the women he had dated who didn’t want to be moms, but it was for Brock Boeser.

He remembered the day he brought it up with you, his voice soft and hesitant as your head rested on his shoulder, a blanket thrown haphazardly over their laps as Return of the Jedi played on the TV. “Do you want kids someday?” Brock asked. He spoke gently, not wanting to scare you off with thoughts of the future coming too fast for you to handle, wondering if maybe seven months into a relationship was too early to bring up the type of commitment that lasted a lifetime. But he had to, had to protect himself from getting more invested and one more broken heart in a relationship that wasn’t just headed down the wrong set of train tracks, it was going the opposite way entirely. But, as you spoke, it turned out that he never had anything to worry about, and Brock wasn’t sure if he’d ever been more relieved in his life.

“I do,” you said, looking up at his face, trying to read his expression. “Always have. Not sure how many, I’ve always thought two or three sounded good. But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

Brock couldn’t help the way his heart absolutely swelled, the way you spoke of him in your future, with such ease and certainty as if you weren’t even entertaining a possibility that he wouldn’t be a part of it, that he wouldn’t be the one you would have children with. He twisted his neck, dropping a kiss on the top of your head. “We will.”

So Brock loved kids, and you loved kids, and it had been established over a year before he put a ring on your finger that they were something in your future. You bought a four-bedroom in Shaughnessy, the idea being that one would be a guest room and two would be reserved for the kids, whenever they came along. “We can always add on,” Brock had said as you signed the papers, the real estate agent dropping the keys into your palm with a warm smile. And you knew that he would, you knew that Brock wanted as many kids as you were willing to give him. But you’d start with one. That was the plan. That was the plan, so a few months after you got back from your honeymoon in Scotland you went off of your birth control. Kids would happen when they happened, but you both knew you’d rather them sooner than later, and thus had begun your journey towards starting a family. That was the plan, so a year and a half ago you had swapped the pill for a stock of pregnancy tests, taking one a month and whenever you were feeling even slightly off for good measure, sure that your nausea and headache wasn’t the beginnings of a flu but rather your baby making themself known.

When six months of trying came and went without a single positive test, you both started to get a little antsy, but you knew that these things took time, and you knew that it hadn’t been long enough for there to be any real cause for concern. But you still called your doctor, started exercising more and taking folic acid like she recommended, you and Brock both cutting down on your alcohol. “If you’ve got to do all this, it’s only fair I have to make some changes, too,” he had said. You loved your husband for many reasons, chief among them being the fact that no matter the circumstance, where you were or who you were with or how people were acting, he never made you feel like you were on your own. Everything was a team effort in the Boeser household.

It was six months, and you were doing okay, and Brock was genuinely winning the award for the world’s best husband with how deftly he could calm you down every time you saw the words not pregnant show up on a pregnancy test, but then it hit a year of trying without success and you started to get worried. It was July, and you knew it was common in the NHL to try and time births for the offseason — if you got pregnant in the summer, your baby would have been born in the middle of a playoff push — but you honestly would have settled for any timing. So you visited a fertility specialist at the Mayo Clinic, a quiet recommendation Brock’s mom got from a friend’s daughter. You loved your own mom, but Laurie truly had been your saving grace in everything. A quiet, steady presence who offered more love and support than you could ever ask for, giving her advice only when asked and never once betraying your trust by telling anyone. But Dr. Gonzalez got the tests back, both yours and Brock’s, and said that nothing was wrong. “Unexplained infertility,” they called it. It was nothing anybody was doing wrong, nobody’s fault, not a matter of hormonal imbalances or obvious lifestyle factors or anything that would have let you blame it on yourself. Which, on one hand, was so good and so relieving, so desperately needed. You needed to know that it wasn’t your body, and it wasn’t Brock, that was keeping the two of you from finally being able to grow your family. But on the other hand, there were few things more hopeless or frustrating than hearing that they couldn’t find a cause. That meant that there wasn’t anything you could have done differently, true, but that also meant that there wasn’t anything you could do. It was a waiting game, and you were never good with being patient.

Pregnancy scares were more common than people might know, if the experiences of you and your friends were anything to go by. There were high school boyfriends, college roommates, half of the people you knew had worried they were pregnant or had gotten someone pregnant far before they were ready. But now, when you were settled down and established and were building a life with the most amazing man you had ever had the fortune to love, and you wanted a baby, it wasn’t happening. The clinical definition of infertility was the “failure to achieve a clinical pregnancy after 12 months or more of regular unprotected sexual intercourse.” You had committed the definition to memory over the past 14 months, and whether you knew it or not, Brock had too. You had always been good at tests. Good grades, always the essay the teacher used as an example in class, graduated top of your class at UBC. But this was one test you couldn’t study for, and one you couldn’t believe you had failed time and time again.

Which brought you to December, normally one of your favorite times of the year but one that you had recently begun noticing all the doom and gloom in that others had always mentioned when speaking about the winter months. You still loved the holidays, Christmas and New Year’s and everything in between, but you thought that in your second year as a married couple, you wouldn’t still be a family of two. It was a year and a half since you and Brock had started trying for a baby, and there was still no luck. It was a year and a half, and you had started talking about options. Vancouver had some amazing fertility specialists, and adoption was something you had discussed looking into, but you had both agreed on waiting a few more months before taking that route.

---

Which brought you to almost three weeks later, two days before New Year’s Eve, your head in the toilet and your husband leaning up against the doorway. “God, I feel like shit,” you said, leaning up against the wall when your nausea had finally seemed to subside. “I bet, last time I threw up was our honeymoon,” he said, trying to make you laugh. Brock had insisted on trying haggis in Scotland, saying he needed the “full experience,” but regretted that decision as soon as he spent the better part of the second night of your honeymoon in the hotel bathroom throwing up from food poisoning. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, gratefully taking the cup of water Brock handed you as you leaned up against the bathroom counter.

You caught his eyes searching yours as you set the glass down, his face wearing an expression you had come to know well in the four years you had been together. There was something on his mind, but he wasn’t sure if he should say it. “Yeah?” you prompted, raising your eyebrows.

He gave a tiny shake of his head. “It’s nothing, seriously.”

Now it was your turn to look at him. “Brock, it’s going to eat you up if you keep it all inside. Spit it out.”

“How long has it been since you took a test?” Brock asked gently.

You should have known. God, you should have known that’s where his mind would go, and the worst part of it all, the part that made you feel even worse for getting your husband’s hopes up that maybe this was finally it, maybe it had finally worked, was that you couldn’t even blame him. You had been snappier at Brock the past few days, something both you and he had attributed to your overall weariness about the whole process, you had to practically slap his hands away from your breasts the other night while you were having sex, and this wasn’t even the first time you had thrown up this week. But it was flu season, and you worked with kids, and seemed to catch it more years than not despite taking the flu shot religiously each October. You’d be looking for a missed period, but they had always been light and you had experienced some spotting when Brock was on a road trip the week before.

You pressed the heels of your hands into your eyes, shaking your head. “I don’t know...A month? A little over? I just hate that it’s getting so clinical, that’s not what it was supposed to be about, that’s never what it was supposed to be about.”

Brock ran his hands up your arms, back and forth, the same way he had been comforting you for years. “I know, baby. And I’m so sorry if I ever made you feel that way, more stressed or disappointed in yourself, because it’s not your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. We’re going to have a baby one way or another, because I love you and I’ve never met anyone who’s more excited, and ready, and made to be a mom quite like you. And whether you have the baby yourself, or we adopt, or whatever path we decide is the right one for us, they’ll be ours, and they’ll be so loved.” Brock ghosted a kiss over your forehead, his eyes closing. “You don’t have to take another test if you don’t want to, the last thing I want to do is make you more anxious over all of this. But I think it might be good. I think it might help.”

You breathed out deeply through your nose, shooting your husband a weak smile. God, he was so good to you. “I’ll tell you if I do.”

Brock nodded, stepping towards you and wrapping you in his arms, whispering your name as he leaned his forehead against yours. “No matter what happens — tomorrow, next week, next year, I don’t care — nothing you do will ever make me love you any less. We’re good. We’re gonna be okay.” You could have filled a hundred books with the reasons why you loved Brock Boeser, and this was one of them. The way he loved you, so selflessly and sacrificially, without an ounce of ego and never expecting anything in return aside from your heart. You didn’t know what you had ever done in this life or any past one to deserve him, but there wasn’t a day you didn’t thank God for the privilege of letting you love this man.

---

It was finally New Year’s Eve, festivities having taken over the city — really, they hadn’t stopped since Christmas — and hardly a flat surface was left undecorated with posters or metallic tinsel, or both for good measure, including almost the entirety of yours and Brock’s house. He had volunteered your place weeks ago as the site for the team’s New Year’s Eve party. It didn’t generally draw a crowd as big as the holiday party earlier in the month, which usually had not only the players’ partners, but children and whatever family was visiting at the time, so Brock had asked if you’d be willing, and you agreed easily. You loved getting to spend time with the team, and you were even more inclined than usual to gravitate towards any kind of distraction that would take your mind off of the stress you were under. The stress that you put yourself under, to be fair. So you threw yourself into planning and preparation, pulling out the ice chest from the garage and filling it up, making sure people were bringing enough champagne, cleaning every inch of the house with Brock until it was spotless despite the fact that you both knew you’d have to do the same thing in the morning.

Some two and a half hours into the party and most everyone who was drinking was sufficiently drunk, the TV in the living room flipping back and forth between the broadcast from Times Square and Youtube karaoke that nearly everyone had been roped into at some point or another. You sipped your soda, half-sitting on one of your barstools next to Holly. “You’re not drinking?” she asked curiously.

“I had some earlier, trying to pace myself” you said, waving your hand. “Someone’s got to look after that one.” You nodded towards Brock, who was having what looked to be the time of his life in your living room while badly singing along to One Direction. Holly nodded. You knew she probably wanted to ask more, but she was too tactful to push. “It’s so nice to see them all like this, just letting loose, having fun. It’s hard to remember sometimes that these are just guys in their 20s and 30s when they’re constantly off travelling or away at games, doing things most people their age only dreamed of. They don’t get the chance to be normal hardly ever. And the season can get stressful...It’s just good to see,” you said.

“It is,” she agreed.

You checked your phone. Twelve minutes till midnight. “You want to help me get the champagne ready?”

Holly smiled. “Let’s do it.”

Nearly twenty flutes of champagne later — you had no idea where Brock had managed to find all of the glasses — you walked around the corner, your head poking into the living room. “Champagne’s in the kitchen, everybody. Five minutes till midnight!”

“Haven’t seen you in a while,” Brock said, leaning in for a kiss after walking over.

You scrunched your nose. “Babe. It hasn’t even been ten minutes.” The second you had gotten back from refilling your drink earlier, Brock had dragged you into what turned out to be a very endearing but not-so-successful rendition of I’ve Had the Time of My Life in the living room, minus the lift. He wanted to go for it, and you trusted your husband with everything, but you really didn’t feel like spending your New Year’s Eve in the ER after having crashed into the Christmas tree. Dirty Dancing was one of the first movies you had ever watched together, so there was more than a little meaning behind the choice, but you doubted you were exactly making Jennifer Grey proud.

“Ten minutes away from you is ten minutes too long,” he said, nuzzling his head into your neck.

The fingers of your free hand carded through the hairs at the base of his neck; you loved it when he let his hair grow out like this. “Okay, babe, I believe you. How much have you had to drink tonight?”

Brock pulled back, rolling his eyes at you in exaggeration. “Only two beers since the night started. I’m not drunk, I’m not even tipsy, I just love my wife.”

“Could be worse,” you quipped. You squeezed his hand as the two of you walked into the kitchen, after half of the guests had already grabbed their flutes and made their way back into the living room for the countdown. Grabbing your drink from the other side of the counter, you held it in your far hand as you and Brock turned back around, taking your place by the Christmas tree. You glanced towards the TV, where the Times Square ball was slowly inching towards the ground. “Anyone else think it’s a little weird that we’re all staring at a TV waiting for something to happen that already happened 3 hours ago?”

“I don’t believe in tape delay,” Elias said.

Quinn nodded seriously in agreement, but the corner of his mouth twitched up. “It doesn’t exist. That little notice in the corner, saying ‘this is a recording of an earlier broadcast? Fake.”

You snorted into your glass as everyone’s attention turned back to the screen. Three minutes till midnight. “I was a little apprehensive at first when you said you’d put us down to host,” you said, leaning back into Brock’s chest, “but I’m glad you did. This is nice.”

“I’m glad we’ve got everyone around,” he said, looking down at you. “What are you drinking?” he asked curiously. He hadn’t noticed before, too caught up in the euphoria and exhilaration of the night, but the more he looked at it, the more he realized that your glass looked different than everyone else’s.

“Sparkling cider,” you said, your heart rate picking up. “I brought it in case any of the kids came.”

“But there was plenty of champagne left?” Brock questioned. “We’re at our own house, it’s not like you need to be playing designated driver.” You let out an airy laugh, the kind that made Brock’s eyes immediately snap to yours because he knew you so well, he could read even the slightest actions, the smallest shift in tone, and he knew what that particular laugh meant. It was your nervous laugh. “What is it?” he asked, guiding you around the corner to the darkened hallway, the residual glimmer of the lights from the Christmas tree glowing softly on the walls.

You looked up at him, the purest most radiant smile you had ever given him crossing over your face. “You’re not supposed to drink when you’re pregnant,” you whispered, your top lip trembling and letting you know that you were only moments away from tears.

Brock was speechless as he looked at you, the near-silence of the hallway a strange contrast to the growing noise in the living room as the clock ticked closer and closer to the new year. “And you’re...You’re not drinking because…” He faltered.

You gently took both of your glasses, setting them on a side table before taking his left hand in your own, running your thumb over his wedding band. “I’m not drinking because I’m pregnant, Brock,” you repeated, your voice cracking.

“Are you sure?” he asked. You felt a twinge in your heart, but you knew you really couldn’t be upset with him for not being sure. It had been a year and a half and there had been more than once where you both thought it was finally it, that it had finally taken.

You nodded, squeezing his hand. “I took a test the other day, after you had asked me if I was going to. God, I wasn’t expecting anything different, Brock. I wasn’t expecting anything,” you said. “But three minutes was up, and I turned the test over,” his hand tightened almost imperceptibly around yours, “and I saw a plus sign. I’ve never seen one before, Brock, it’s never been positive.” You didn’t realize you had started crying until Brock reached up with the hand that wasn’t holding yours, wiping away a tear that had fallen onto your cheek. “But I didn’t want to get my hopes up again. Not until I was sure. So I found a midwifery center online, called — thank God they had a cancellation — and went in yesterday. I wanted to get it confirmed, but I didn’t want to do anything without you. I didn’t even look at the ultrasound, all I had her tell me was that everything looked absolutely perfect for seven weeks along.”

It was your husband’s turn for tears now, neither of you paying any mind to the deafening countdown that was happening just steps away. “You’re really pregnant?”

You nodded again. “We have an appointment again in two days. They’re going to show us the heartbeat.”

That was what broke him, bringing Brock down to his knees in front of you, his hand slipping from yours as he brought it up to rest on your lower stomach. Where his baby was. Where your baby was. “I’m finally going to be a dad,” he said, as if the knowledge that both of your lives would be changed forever come next July was just now hitting him, as if he’d never known purpose and fulfillment quite on the same level until you spoke those words to him.

You knelt down next to him, dropping a kiss on his lips just as the clock struck midnight. It wasn’t like any kiss you had ever shared before, not overwhelmed with passion or desire or want, nor the small, steady sort of kisses you had grown to love in your years as a married couple, the kind that said you’re my best friend in not so many words. This was a kiss of adoration, of devotion, of pure reverence for your husband and the life you had finally created together. “We’re having a baby.”

#hockey fanfic #hockey writing #brock boeser #hockey imagine #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfic #hockey imagines #nhl writing #hockey fanfiction #nhl fanfiction #realized four hours after posting that I never added a title oops

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