#but she goes 'you can't cook for one person that's wasteful' despite often making THE most disgusting food that wastes good ingredients

[david-watts]

problem with this household is the moment I even try to stock up on food I can make for me and me alone easily is immediately there are several nights in a row where I have to do exactly that and get in trouble for doing exactly that (don’t read the tags lmao it turned into a vent)

#once again there is basically no food in this house I can actually eat lol #note the pasta I made with three out-of-date-or-even-mouldy ingredients lol #that was lol twice in a row I hate that but fuck it not retyping that tag #I was good! I tried not to resort to doing that the second it even appeared like it'd be fend for yourself night! #but I still had to #it's like. over the end of the year period there were a LOT of those types of nights and I got in trouble because I was not eating well #and it made me feel really ick too but it's not like I had too much choice. and I was eating ok otherwise #I think if I were allowed to cook for myself those types of nights and when I say cook I mean more than eggs #that is literally all I'm allowed to cook on those types of nights it's eggs or a sandwich and that's ok for #an old lady who eats cooked lunches a LOT which is actually why we end up having those sorts of nights #the disparity between what we eat during the day #but she goes 'you can't cook for one person that's wasteful' despite often making THE most disgusting food that wastes good ingredients #that we had plans to make and therefore we waste MORE #because she has this complex about needing to use things up when that's not what needs to happen #man why am I even typing this out. it's not like anyone cares. #maybe I just shouldn't eat! I should actually fall down the rabbit-hole I have been trying not to for four years! #lol that was great. when I actually tried it my therapist and my m*ther dragged me kicking and screaming away #and then my m*ther got upset with me for overeating when I was doing exactly what I was instructed to #she's been going to her own therapist lately which is like. good and bad #she's too similar to my grandmother in a lot of ways but has the added victim complex #unfortunately her eating less (which is good don't get me wrong) destabilised the household routine #it's very complex there's a lot of different things going on in this shitshow. #but like. I haven't been able to eat well. my diet for a while was mainly snacks I could hide in my room so I knew what I could actually eat #and my m*ther is on a bit of an ego trip and going 'you should eat less' what the fuck do you think I'm trying to do half the time #this is exactly the amount I should be eating but no! it's too much for one person apparently! #so like because of that I'm holding onto the edge by one fucking fingertip #it's like #'you need to drink more' #'stop drinking so much juice' (reason I was drinking more than I probably should've? needed to drink more) #'stop drinking energy drinks why can't you go back to the juice'