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#but she goes all the time anyway

deuce from monster high canonly is insecure about being lower status than his gf cuz cleos family comes from egyptian royalty (aka ancient mummies) and it gets to the point where, in the boo york movie, he breaks up with her after embarrassing himself in front of her dad because he didnt want to risk cleo being seen as foolish or less worthy in the eyes of her dad

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DAOctober #26 - Romance WITH a NPC | Vass Trevelyan & Lord Otranto. Enemies to Bros to Lovers to Happily Married

#dragon age, #DAOctober, #Vass Trevelyan, #Lord Otranto, #Bongwater the dracolisk, #So long story short, #Vass becomes super best friend with Josie because he miss his mommy and with Blackwall because he's the father that he never had, #(his father wanted to kick him out of the family when Vass refused templar training), #When he discover that Blackwall have a crush on Josie and viceversa but Josie has been promised to Otranto he decide to challenge Otranto, #And the scene is like the mission in Val Royaux where they fight with fancy sword that I can't remember how they are called right now, #So Anyway Josie arrives to stop them and Otranto discover that she's in love with someone else (Blackwall) so he goes away and leave them b, #Because he's a gentelman like that. He and Vass continue the fighting more for training than anything else, #Fastforward in the story our Inquisitor breaks up with Dorian when he told him that he'll goes back to Tevinter at the end of all of this, #Even if Vass is the one to break up he can't handle the aftermath and got super sad + drunk + reckless, #and also drinks from the well of sorrow out of spite and got some voices in his head to makes everything more complicated, #Then he contact Otranto to go grab a beer together and complain about ending up single and the two of them become bros over time, #Then Vass grow up as a character bla bla he becomes more responsible he and Otranto start kissing in sunny meadow filled with flowers, #at the end of Inquisiton they get married and Otranto brings Vass to Antiva for the honeymoon, #Antiva è rappresentata come una palafitta love hotel molto costosa in questo disegno perchè la bioware non mi ha dato ref più chiare, #DragonFartArt
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Since I finished the Great Gatsby I keep thinking about it if Nick and Gatsby got in a relationship. Cause like in the beginning Nick has the whole spiel about having to avoid other men confiding in him (but the way that he words it makes the confessions seem sort of like love confessions) so maybe Gatsby pulls Nick aside and Nick recognizes that “an intimate revelation” is coming and yet he, unlike what he has done many times before, does not make an excuse to leave and is instead mesmerized and boom confession of love. Also I think it’s kinda funny if Gatsby went from loving one cousin to the other.

#the great gatsby, #nick carraway, #jay gatsby, #forgive me if I got something wrong I’m sleep deprived and have a headache, #but also think about this:, #gatsby realizing that daisy has her own life now and that the image of her in his head is not who she actually is, #and being very despondent and spending time with nick who is basically his only friend, #and nick actually being a decent friend, #and gatsby just ends up falling in love But is like I can’t be with him, #(we’ll ignore all the historical reasons as to why - in gatsbys mind it’s because nick has seen him at his lowest), #but anyways gatsby does want to woo nick and because he has an objective in mind and use for the persona of jay gatsby he goes along ahead, #but I think at this point nick is very disillusioned with wealth because of what he’s seen, #so all the displays don’t mean much to him, #and gatsbys like SHIT what can I do now?, #and nick and gatsby go back to talks and excursions and ig what ends up happening is that gatsby leans to live without the persona, #so it’s gatz now again. he visits his dad again., #uses money for good, #and then there’s the confession, #nick also becomes a better person through this by becoming more considerate etc etc, #Jordan has to deal with both their bs because she knows both of them, #she also smacks sense into nick because nick is not a great friend at first and blows everyone else off for gatsby and like, #we get it you love him but you have other people in your life, #idk what to do with daisy and tom because daisy lied bout being catholic so there wouldn’t be a divorce, #but I think them splitting up would be better, #also the q is if myrtle still dies here and what goes on with that
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🐕 Sun 25 Oct ‘20 🌶

Well it sure is SUNday isn’t it? We woke up to a hidden Reels from HSHQ (that has since been taken down) that showed a *golden* retriever swimming in the blue blue sea with Golden playing in the background. HSHQ has made a Habit (that they can’t break) of hiding media and random phrases in their source code, the most recent one in circulation being:  “Jewel-coat migration headed to Eroda!” within the Eroda site’s code. Fans quickly speculated that the dog in the video might be @/goldenloutriever on instagram, but I have no clue what brought that on, because there is no indication on the dog’s instagram nor on HSHQ’s instagram that would lead me to that conclusion. The best I can give you is that Harry seems to have taken a page out of Eleanor’s book and really embraced the dog content - he knows what we like! And THEN HSHQ dropped the official teaser AND the drop date of the music video! It drops tomorrow, 10/26? WHAT TIME asked Twitter with a worldwide trend. HSHQ ignored us all. The teaser trailer shows Harry running in a dark tunnel, I’m assuming chasing the sun. I would say that this time, he looks VERY ready to run! 

But Harry isn’t the only one with content to debut! LIAM put out his newest “show which has no name” on YouTube, and went live on instagram (wearing a headband that rival’s 2013!Louis’) right before the premiere! He went live with a young fan who ran a 1D fan instagram account and gave her some tickets, talked about not having seen the Golden music video, yet (me: YEAH NEITHER HAVE I UR NOT SPECIAL) and mentioned that Iron Man was his favorite avenger (“…after the sacrifices he made - for us all” hmmm, yup yup, totally, I remember that time Thanos came and made us disappear). He was also told by the chat to “Call Louis”, to which he promptly responded, “Louis was meant to call me a couple of days ago and he hasn’t yet…Louis where are you?? If you’re creeping around my Instagram live again, just. Give me a call”. Twitter then took it upon themselves to remind Louis and trended LOUIS CALL LIAM. Louis, always knowing what’s being said about him, took to twitter to say, “Answer your phone then dickhead @/LiamPayne”. Soooo…does this mean they’ve been playing phone tag?? Could timezone differences have anything to do with this? *Corneilus voice* whoooooo knooooowwwwssss…. 

And! In the roundup we got to hear a bit more about Cornelius! It started as an idea that he and Conor had “coming home after work one night” (if you’re counting - and I am - this is the second time he’s mentioned living with Conor) and that he thought it would be funny if there were a ghost haunting the place asking about the show. They tried out different names (first Peter), but settled on Cornelius as it tied back into an old 1D joke where Louis dared Niall to thank “Cornelius the Trombone player” but there never was a trombone player. So he was a ghost, Get It? Sigh, I love Liam’s sense of humor. In other round-up news, opener Carly Gibert will be zooming in from LA, though Tom Felton (“love ya, Big T!”) will be there live. He talked about how he’s known Tom for years, meeting at one of the HP premiers, though he wasn’t a big fan at the time, “I wasn’t a massive fan then, it’s just as I went along - you know how it goes - that I became a MASSIVE fan, but I already knew all of them". Okay, no need to rub it in Liam! But, speaking of fans, he thanked one on his live (twitter handle @/modeftziam), calling them “a good friend of mine”, and praising the awesome instagram filter that they made! He says that he sees their content on his timeline often, and loves it, and to go follow them. I ADORE (a door haha) how Liam treats his fans, it’s always so kind. Kinder, even, than he treats himself sometimes: he went in a bit on the behind the scenes video that Hugo put on their Instagram story about last month’s Esquire shoot, saying he was “super super hungover I’d partied all night the night before…you can see the drunkness on my face there”. I mean, I hadn’t noticed it BEFORE he pointed it out, but, um…yeah he’s not wrong. I hope that, going forward, he treats himself more gently, because, as we all know HE’S GOLDEN TOO! 

And was Louis done tweeting after he told Liam off? No! He wasn’t! He went on to answer a fan about a child who really liked Louis’ music. Louis told the fan, “This is a beautiful story. Send my love to your gorgeous little lad. You’re both welcome to any show. Would love to meet the little lad. You’re an incredible mother, keep your head up!” The fan he replied to was NOT the mother of the child, but instead a 17 year old who had translated the story, which she had explained, but he clearly missed.  Who’s gonna take him up on the free ticket, d’you think? He also - once again - recommended the Red Hot Chili Peppers, once in a reply, and then went nah, I gotta put this on main, and posted a tweet with a link to the same liveshow, saying, “Anyone who’s missing live music. Watch this top to bottom…Incredible.” And he answered a question about the Social Dilemma, a documentary about the effects of social media, saying, “…Anyone who hasn’t seen it should watch it. Food for thought.” 

Niall described his COVID experience as “a lot of finger pointing, ankle injuries, and naked Instagram”. This time, can we please trend #DONTstripitdownNiall? They chatted a bit about the song (“ a delicate song…about divorce”) and Niall’s involvement (“I wouldn’t have been upset if she’d had said no [to having him on the song”), and they urged young US voters to get out the vote! Which, yeah! Please! And Zayn joined in the fun, tweeting “@UFC mashallah Khabib 🙌🏽”. The word mashallah is an Arabic phrase that means “what God has willed” and expresses appreciation, joy, praise, or thankfulness. Khabib is a boxer who has just announced his retirement. So, in the way that we often thank the guys for their hard work, Zayn was just showing off his fandom appreciation!  And, in Z’s extended universe Gigi also joined the Get Out Vote efforts by saying, “I voted absentee last week with my daughter next to me for an America I wanted her to see…”. Did it tell us anything about her daughter? Nope! Not even her name!

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ohgrrggrrgrhrgrg i love that cold weather is finally here but the change is making me feel like my prefrontal cortex exploded

#ouch ouch ouch oof, #anyway i have a lot of unrelated stuff on my mind but i also have a half finished todo list, #and everything left on it is BORING AS ALL HELL and i cant get myself to do it >:(, #i spent an hour hunched over typing up a transcription..... and got to minute 3 OUT OF 11..... and its the 1st interview out of three to do, #*passes out*, #tmrw i talk to my therapist shes finally back..... but i dont know if im gonna bring up whats bothering me, #becauuse im scared lol, #of what idrk, #and lately has just been a pretty big time for change for me personally like i think i burnt out of yet another thing i thought i was gonna, #commit my life to, #not psychology luckily but even then im settling its not what i want to do because i dont want to do just one thing :(, #and everytime my finance class goes Your Career Is The Culmination Of Everything In Your Life, #Everything Youve Ever Worked For, #For Your Entire Life, #its like nooooooooooooooooo i dont want to be on one path, #its like the communism quote or whatever fisher by day whatever by night i just want to do whatever i want to do day by day but its not poss, #ible for me because i need money and like quite a bit of it as like bare minimum due to everything, #like i dont have lofty dreams financially i really dont. i want to live in a safe apartment with someone i love and a cat or two and be able, #to get the medical service i need (a lot =_=), #but if i drop every apprenticeship i start after a month (which is a long time for me to stick to one thing consistent in the first place), #im going absolutely nowhere, #and thats scary! and it makes me feel helpless becauuse usully when people are settling for a realistic job the dream theyre giving up is, #still at least one thing! like :(, #idk i shouldnt overthink the future but :/, #and not to mention the ACTUAL thing on my mind, #grrr i guess im gonna take a nap or draw or something, #maybe ill do stuff not from todays to do list and just give future me the burden, #but i really just want to take a nap or do something fun, #but ive been unproductive for longer than i was productive already, #i hate capitalism mindsets infecting me but its necessary for now i guess
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#this is just a dumb vent post its not like. anything crazy i just like to put my thoughts down here it makes me feel a little better, #its the end of the third day rn, #and it just gets really bad at night when i have nothing to do to distract myself, #nothings open so i cant go anywhere and its not super safe to take a walk this late either, #cause ive been jumped at night in this neighborhood before like a year or so ago, #but my stupid ass just remembered i still have a stash of my poison in a box that i forgot about, #and i dont want it i really dont want it but im just so fucking sad all the time and i hate it, #and my mom said some shit to me that really just like. reminded me how much she doesnt love me or care about me, #and just reminded me that im just so god damn lonely and sad i dont have my family i dont have friends, #like this isnt how a human being is supposed to live you need a family you need friends and i just dont have any of it, #and it just fucking depresses me so much and it never goes away, #i just need a break i really do i just need 5 minutes where i dont feel like this and i feel like i have any kind of value, #because thats the whole reason i went down that path in the first place is i just felt dead all the time, #and just felt like i didnt matter so why not just do it anyways and if it kills you it doesnt really matter yknow, #its just hard its really hard and all i ever hear is itll get better eventually but i need it to be better now, #i cant keep waiting around for eventually i need something to just give me a little slack now i cant keep waiting, #its just so hard and i try so god damn hard and it just feels like theres no pay off ever no matter how hard i try to be better, #it feels like nothing ever comes from it and im still trying but it just keeps getting harder to keep trying, #and i dont even want to but i still do and i dont know why but i need some slack soon because im getting a worse and worse handle on life, #its just. really tiring. and i want things to be good but i just feel like i cant wait any longer its just so exhausting to live like this, #idk anymore like i really dont know how to continue from this point, #at least not when my life is like this. if there was something positive in it it would motivate me to keep going, #but its hard when everything is just shit and theres no joy in my life and there really hasnt ever been, #drugs //, #vent //
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havin a cool fun sexy time at work this week /s

#the cool thing abt this job is thet i can let myself b very autistic amd theres like. not a problem, #the less cool thing is that the store is getting its lights replaced and thats happening at night while i work, #and the lifts and tools that the lighting crew is using are all very loud and bad to hear, #and at least half the night the lights are all on the way they are when the store is open so everything is also v bright, #can sort of keep myself cool by having my headphones in n music on but! were only allowed one so every time i leave an aisle, #or see a manager coming, #i have to pop one out which sucks bc those are the times i most need em bc out of the aisles is where its brightest and loudest, #had the new manager reprimand me and then immediately ask me for help finding smth while there were 2 lifts just adjacent, #w ppl on both of them playing their own music n i needed to be out for a min to toss my empty boxes and get more freight, #so by the time i got back to a place i could put em both in i was beating my hands on the cart handle and couldnt move for a solid 30s, #also would rlly love my chew stim but that is literally the worst possible stim to do during a fucking pandemic so :) guess ill die, #like yes i know this is all for safety reasons but 1. i assure you i can still hear the power equipment thru my music, #and 2 keeping these headphones in is literally the only thing allowing me to continue to function in any way, #unless you think our fuckin efficiency that youre so worried abt stacie will benefit from me hiding in the dark under one of the shelves, #last night she goes okay w a 1300-pc truck and 7 ppl it should take 7h13m to put it all up so theres no reason we cant finisj, #okay but were starting 47 minutes late and we have 2 15m breaks and have to clean up before the store opens so., #anyway im tired and fighting a depressive episode and every day the world feels louder and brighter and harder to parse ✌, #prsnl
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i had online classes most of the day and i fell asleep at one of them bc we didn’t need to turn on our camera or microphone 😳..i’m not even that busy, but i’ve spent more than 6 months at home going mostly nowhere and this is a shock to my brain and body

#also my professor is really anxious whilst teaching im not sure why, #he's always like that and since he's from italy he struggles with the language, #so it takes him more time to say sth, #he just goes 'um so", #*awkward laugh* yeah, #and then sometimes he doesn't even finish his point and leaves it like that and im like 👀 r u serious, #he legit starts laughing at his words sometimes whilst everyone is just 😶, #also i went for a coffee with my new friends from uni and two of us talked about our main professor, #and i feel bad bc we scared the shit out of them..even though we were just stating facts 😅 but hopefully we helped.., #she's the worst professor i've ever had, #so we had to warn them. that woman gave me severe anxiety and i wish i were not serious about this, #last year we had all lectures online and from now on we have it online only on mondays, #and let me tell u..when i entered that room with her..i had this terrible feeling and couldn't even look her in the eyes, #at one point i got lost whilst she tried to get the correct answer from me..and then she lost her nerves, #and said that im lost and continued walking to the other corner of the room and asked sb else for the answer, #anyways i hope this woman doesn't ruin my confidence and sanity entirely. i wish i could be chill as some people, #bc in reality she can't do anything to me. but she is literally an abuser, #need to get my shit together..gather some strength and study. i can't mess around this year
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tw: talks about my eating disorder struggles after the dots in the tags

#okay filler filler filler, #filler words fhdmbdkshrkehd, #..........................................................................................................................................., #okay i just, #i hate talking about it on this blog bc i dont wanna trigger anyone and like, #i know how easy it is to get triggered with this and i dont want people to have to worry about it from me but god i just, #im gonna fucking cry, #i was gonna eat some real fucking food for the first time today (its 2pm), #and like. i REALLY just wanted to eat bc my stomach hurts and my head hurts and im HUNGRY, #so i made a sandwich and i sit down on the couch with my mom to eat it while we watch a show and, #she fucking goes ‘wow thats a big sandwich’ like 🙂🙂🙂 thanks now i cant eat it, #she tried asking me more about it - whats in it and stuff - but i just got really snappy and went to my room, #and now im just staring at it and sipping the diet soda i grabbed to drink with it, #which was a bad choice on my part. i’ve been trying not to drink diet soda anymore bc it was one of the things i LIVED off of when my ed +, #+ was rlly bad. but im all out of juice and i cant drink water rn for reasons i dont feel comfortable sharing so diet soda was my only +, #+ option, #i just keep sipping the soda and im trying not to look at the sandwich and i just wanna cry, #i feel so sick and i dont know what to do. im torn in half, #one half of me - the half of me that wants so badly to get better - is begging me to eat it anyway. i keep thinking about my boy and how he+, #+would want me to eat. he would be so sad to hear that im struggling like this and that im having such a hard time. he would encourage me +, #+ to eat bc i need to and i deserve it n im beautiful n stuff. and god i just... ive been struggling with food recently but i was getting +, #+ better i really was. i was eating anyway and i wasnt feeling THAT bad when i did... i was coping well, #but fuck... the other half of me... the half that was been itching for a relapse... all i can hear is my moms judgement playing on repeat +, #+ in my head. shes a HUGE trigger for my ed anyway - shes probably my biggest trigger. shes so small and she eats so little and i was +, #+ already struggling w the idea of eating around her. but i had managed to push thru and i had convinced myself to eat anyway and i was +, #+ feeling okay about it and then... her fucking comment, #i dont think i can eat this anymore ☹️ i have a trash bag in my room that i need to take out today anyway so... i guess it’ll just go in the, #i cant handle the idea of eating it anymore. i really want to - i do - but i just... im so tired and my current mental state is fragile as +, #+ it is. eating it would be too hard right now, #i hate this i hate this i hate this
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its 3 am and i cant sleep because i habve a story idea stuck in my head but i havent actually written anything in like 3 years and anytime ive tried i barely got out two sentences before being either bored or frustrated

sorry for the long tags, i couldnt help myself and put the story in the tags

#its a soulmate au fanfiction, #where youre colourblind until you touch your soulmate for the first time, #except that it has a twist because A and B meet and touch and are happy, #but then A leaves for a week (theyre college students so she just goes home) and suddenly the world is grey again, #B freaks out when it happens thinking that A died and frantically calls A, #A is fine but also seeing grey, #they decide to look up deviations from the soulmate norm and find out that sometimes distance can cause temporary loss of colour, #but then a day before A comes back B is in a coffee shop, #and as B gets their coffee they brush hands with the barista C, #AND BOOM THE WORLD IS IN COLOUR AGAIN, #but B thinks its bc A is coming back a day sooner and immediately leaves to call A, #and gets out of reach for C so the world turns grey again and A and B just decide to try to figure out whatever is going on once A is back, #but what about C? well C already met her soulmate years ago but she died after only a short time together, #when Cs soulmate died she didnt lose her colour vision completely. only her sm favorite colour (red), #so C didnt immediately notice she got the red back after touching B. she only noticed once B was already too far gone to catch her, #anyway since B is pretty soon out of reach again C just thinkssje imagined the red she saw and goes on about her day, #the next day A comes back and A and B have colour again. they decide to research more into sm deviations and stumble across a soulmate trio, #they figure out that B must have touched the barista and go look for her, #and then they meet and talk and touch and suddenly they can all always see all colours since the trio is now together, #its a really cute story and i love it and aaaaah i cant write it and i hate it, #also my mom is gonna wake me up in 5 hours and its her birthday so i should sleeeep, #i hope writing it out like this got it out of my system at least a little
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I don’t think he’s uncaring at all actually! Quite the opposite. I think what’s interesting about Naegi is how he cares SO much and goes through SO MUCH but keeps going really strong. You see this in dr3 where tbh? He should have given up a while ago, but he doesn’t. Even when he gets the chance to take a break he keeps moving because he needs to see things to the end. His crush dies in front of him and he blames himself for it but he has to keep moving.

Naegi buries that shit. It’s not that he doesn’t feel it, he DOES, it hits him HARD. Every single death he carries as if he could have stopped it. But he has to hold strong because if he sits there and cries who does that help? He can’t make their deaths right by crying, he has to keep moving forward because its all he CAN do.

I think its actually very interesting that you say this because one of my favorite scenes in dr3 is when Mitarai gets angry at Naegi for moving on so fast after Kirigiri’s death. Because he too sees this as a sign that Naegi is uncaring. And we see ANGUISH in the way Naegi grits his teeth. He wants to turn around and yell and cry and let all his emotions out. Its a powerful few frames and a side of Naegi we hardly get to see because hes so good at pushing that down so he can keep moving. But he turns around and smiles at Mitarai. Even after being accused of not caring that his friend and crush died.

So I think it can make Naegi SEEM uncaring, especially to those that don’t know him. But no, he’s not. In fact he probably cares more than anyone. It’s a more a sign that Naegi isn’t handling these negative emotions healthily. He NEEDS to allow himself to cry. He probably sees crying as giving in. So he just doesn’t. I wonder how long he let the guilt of Maizono and everyone elses death build up inside of him?

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