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all-the-things-2020 · 3 months

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Further Along the Way - Chapter Fourteen

Summary: Pando Florenz comes home, and the newest member of the Djarin family arrives. Think of this as an outer space episode of “Call the Midwife.”

Rating: PG

Pando Florenz returned two weeks after the other cadets. His bionic leg left him with a slight limp, but he assured everyone that the doctors had said he would learn to compensate over time and it shouldn’t affect his ability to serve in the military. “By the time I graduate, I should be fine,” he’d said, but Glenna still fussed over him, much to Florenz’ chagrin.

“She won’t leave me alone,” he complained to Din one day after the rest of the cadets had left for lunch.

“She’s concerned about you,” Din said, locking up the weapons cabinet. “You nearly died.”

“But I didn’t. I’m fine.”

“Are you?” Din asked. “Really?”

Florenz sat down. “Yeah, really, sir. I wasn’t at first.” He rubbed his hand on the thigh of his synthetic leg. “When they told me they couldn’t fix my leg … I was so scared. All I ever wanted was to be in the military, like my uncle. I didn’t know what to do if I couldn’t come back to the Academy. But when they fitted me for the prosthetic, and I realized I’d be okay, it got better.”

Din sat next to him. “If you need to talk, you know I’m here.”

“Yeah, I know, sir.” The boy sat quietly for a long moment, which in and of itself was astonishing to Din. He’d never thought he’d see Pando Florenz stay still for more than a millisecond.

“So what should I do about Glenna?,” he said finally.

“That depends on what you want,” Din said carefully.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, do you really want her to leave you alone, or do you just want her to back off a little?”

Florenz shifted in his seat. “That’s the thing. I really don’t know. I mean, she drives me nuts sometimes, but … it’s kind of nice spending more time with her.” He ducked his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “Half the time I want to scream ‘leave me alone’ and the other half I’m wondering if she’ll go to the Founders’ Ball with me at the end of the year.” He looked up, clearly embarrassed.

“I’m probably not the best person to give romantic advice,” Din said. Florenz laughed.

“Sorry, sir, but you and your wife are what we kids call ‘relationship goals.’”

Din was puzzled. “What?”

Florenz shrugged. “You’re what we all hope to have some day. Like … how you’re married and have kids but you’re still all flirty with each other. Our parents aren’t like that.”

“Well,” Din said, feeling himself blush, “Mariana and I haven’t really been together that long. I’m sure we’ll be just as boring as your parents when we’ve been married for years and years.”

Florenz lifted an eyebrow. “Somehow I doubt that,” he said. “So, how did you know you were interested in her? And that she was interested in you?”

Din sighed. “It’s hard to say exactly when I knew … probably the first time I gave her a blaster lesson and I kept getting distracted by her hair.” He chuckled. “There’s this one strand that just will not stay in place when she puts her hair up, and I just … always want to tuck it behind her ear.”

“That’s cute,” Florenz said. “Glenna’s hair is always so perfect, but sometimes after practice, it gets kind of messed up …” He stopped and cleared his throat. “Sorry, sir, go on.”

“As for when I knew she was interested in me,” Din continued, “it was when I hurt my hand and after she patched it up, she kissed it, and told me never to scare her like that again.”

“Aww,” Florenz said. “That’s sweet.”

“And then later that night she propositioned me, just in case I didn’t get it,” Din admitted, laughing as Florenz’s jaw dropped in shock. “Trust me, if Glenna likes you, she’ll let you know.” He stood up. “We’d better get some lunch before the period is over. I’ll see you tomorrow, Pando.”

**********************************

“Oof,” Mariana said. Something was going on. She’d been having the odd twinge now and then for a few weeks, but this was more urgent, and Ad’ika was watching her very closely.

“Should I call Daddy?,” she asked him. “Or wait until he gets home?”

Ad’ika cocked his head, drooping his ears a bit. His eyes closed and he held his hand out toward her. After a moment, he opened his eyes and trotted over to her data pad.

“Okay,” she said. “Guess it’s time.” She took the data pad from him and thumbed in Din’s personal code. Normally, instructors weren’t supposed to take personal comms during class time, with everything routed through the administration office, but this was not a normal call.

The comm pinged only once before Din’s face popped up. “Are you okay?,” he said.

“Yeah,” she said, as another pain lanced through her. “But I think it’s time. Can you come home?”

“Yes, yes, of course,” he stammered. She heard students in the background and thought she recognized Klaarmat’s voice saying “Go on, sir, I’ve got this.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can, cyar’ika,” Din said. “Call Valinda and Tress.” His face winked out and Mariana commed Valinda next.

“I’ll be there in less than twenty minutes,” the midwife assured her. “Just relax. You’re going to be fine.”

Tress was a bit more volatile. “Oh, goodness! Um, let me call Garrick, see how quickly he can get home to watch the girls while I run over to get Ad’ika. Unless you think he should stop by and get him? What’ll be faster?”

“No rush,” Mariana assured her. “Valinda and Din will be here soon, and Ad’ika will be fine until you have a chance to get here. Don’t bother Garrick.” She knew that Garrick had been extra busy at work ever since coming back from active duty, now that the Republic action in the Danda sector was over.

She put the data pad down and picked up Ad’ika. He laid his hand on her belly as another pain shot through her. She felt a calming warmth spread out from his tiny hand. “Thank you, ad,” she said, “but that’s not necessary. I’ll be okay. Just keep me company until the others get here.” She snuggled him close, stroking his ears.

“Haalur, buir,” he said.

Breathe, mother.

They sat on the couch and a few minutes later, Din burst through the door. “Where’s Valinda?”

“She’ll be here in a few minutes,” Mariana said. “And Tress will be here as soon as she can.” Another pain struck, and she sucked in her breath. “Here, take Ad’ika.”

“Ma gotenir,” Ad’ika told him.

“Yes, I know,” Din said distractedly. “Wait, did you just use a verb? Did you hear that, cyar’ika, he used a verb!”

“Yes, I heard,” Mariana said. She was proud of Ad’ika, but right now she had more pressing concerns.

“He said you’re giving birth,” Din babbled on, collapsing onto a chair. “Blessed stars, you’re giving birth!”

“I’m aware of that, cyar’ika,” she said with a laugh. “Now that we’re all on the same page, can we concentrate on the task at hand?”

There was a knock at the door and Din popped up to answer it. It was Valinda, with Arnie in tow.

“Well, hello, there,” she said to Ad’ika, holding out her finger to shake his tiny hand. “Are you excited about getting a baby brother or sister?”

Ad’ika nodded and babbled something to her. Arnie rolled quietly into the corner and powered down while Valinda placed her bag on the table and started unpacking.

************************

Din handed Ad’ika to Tress. “Thank you so much for watching him,” he said.

“I’m happy to do it,” she said. “The girls are so excited to see him, and you’re going to have your hands full.” She smiled. “Go on, get back in there. Mari needs you.”

Ad’ika waved goodbye as Tress carried him away, and Din quietly closed the door behind them. He took a deep breath and turned to head back into the bedroom, sparing a glance at the med droid crouched in the corner. A faint red light glowed on its chest, indicating it was in standby mode. Please don’t be necessary, he thought as he passed it.

Valinda was sitting on the bed next to Mariana, rubbing her back. She must have had another contraction while he answered the door. They were still evenly spaced, and Valinda had warned them that this stage could go on for hours. He switched places with Valinda, slipping his arm around Mariana’s shoulders to support her. She leaned against him.

“I’m okay,” she said into his ear. “It’s not that bad.” He could see the pain in her face each time a contraction hit, but he pretended to believe her.

“Get up and walk around if you want to,” Valinda said. “Movement will help. Or just rest. Let your body tell you what it wants to do.”

****************************

Hours passed. Mariana’s water broke, ruining the rug next to the bed, and Din tossed it into the ‘fresher to be washed up later. The contractions started coming more often, and Valinda nodded reassuringly as she noted down the times.

“You’re doing splendidly,” she said. Din helped her pull Mariana’s hair back into a loose braid to keep it out of her face. She was sweating and the loose hairs sticking to her face were irritating her.

Valinda peeped between Mariana’s legs to check on her progress. “Almost fully dilated,” she said. “It won’t be much longer, sweetheart.”

Din fetched a fresh damp cloth and wiped Mariana’s face and neck, gently smoothing the sweat off her skin. “You’re doing so good, cyar’ika,” he murmured. “Not much longer.”

He lied. It went on much, much longer than any of them expected. Valinda was calm, talking Mariana through each excruciating contraction, and then reassuring Din in between. “Sometimes things stall out for a while,” she explained. “There’s nothing to worry about.”

Mariana clutched at Din’s hand each time a wave of pain washed over her, trying her best to breathe according to the rhythm he gave her. And after each wave passed, she collapsed back against his chest, while he kissed her and told her how proud he was and apologized a thousand times for not being able to do more to relieve her suffering.

Finally, Valinda announced that Mariana was fully dilated and the baby was about to crown. “This is it, my dear,” she said. “Listen to me carefully. When I tell you to push, I want you to push as hard and as long as you can. And when I tell you to rest, rest. We’re almost there.”

Din braced her as she pushed, panting in her ear as if he were pushing right along with her. He whispered Mando’a in her ear, but she was so tired she caught only a word here and there. She managed to make out dral, aaray, gett’se, mesh’la, ramikadyc, and tal'onidir.

Strong … pain … courage … beautiful … determined … sweat blood.

“Just one more, Mariana,” Valinda said. “One last push and your baby will be here.”

“Come on, cyar’ika,” Din said. “You can do it.”

Every muscle in her body was quivering with fatigue, but she took a deep breath and grabbed hold of Din’s hand. Valinda nodded and she bore down again, gritting her teeth against the pain, feeling a guttural groan build from deep inside her as she pushed and pushed and pushed …

And suddenly the baby was out and was crying and Din was crying and Mariana was crying and Valinda was busying herself with the cauterizer and wrapping the baby in a cloth. Mariana slumped back against Din, utterly exhausted.

“Would you like to see your son?” Valinda asked, holding the squalling baby gently in her arms. Mariana was too tired to lift her arms at the moment, so she gestured for Din to take him first. As Valinda settled the child into his father’s arms, Mariana thought her heart would burst at the look on Din’s face. She’d seen it before, when he watched Ad’ika sleep, but this was several magnitudes brighter and made every moment of pain she’d suffered through worth it.

“He’s so tiny,” Din said in amazement. Mariana wearily lifted her hand and touched the baby’s miniature one.

“So perfect,” she whispered. She gasped as the infant tried to grab hold of her finger. Din smiled at her and she smiled back.

Valinda puttered about, cleaning up, giving them a moment alone with their son. “I do need to take some readings,” she said after a few minutes. “For the birth certificate.” She held out her hands and Din reluctantly placed the child in her arms.

While Valinda weighed and measured and scanned, Din wrapped his arms around Mariana. “I am so, so proud of you, cyar’ika,” he said. “I have never seen anyone fight so fiercely or so well.” He nuzzled his face into her hair and kissed her neck.

“Told you I was a fighter,” she said wearily. She had never been so tired in her life, but she wasn’t ready to rest just yet. She hadn’t held her son yet.

Valinda brought him back over and placed him into her arms. “Have you decided on a name yet?” Valinda asked. “That’s the last thing I need before I can file the birth certificate.”

“Cabur,” Mariana said without thinking. Din squeezed his arm tightly around her shoulders.

“Are you sure?,” he said, his voice a bit shaky.

“Yes,” she said, tracing the delicate contours of Cabur’s face. “I want him to have a Mando’a name. He’s so tiny right now, but he’s going to grow up so fast, faster than Ad’ika, and he’s going to have to be the big brother soon enough.”

“It’s perfect,” Din said. He turned to Valinda. “It means ‘protector.’”

The midwife smiled. “A very fitting name,” she said. “Now, let’s finish up with the afterbirth so I can get out of here and let you all get better acquainted.” She lifted Cabur out of Mariana’s arms and handed him to Din. “If you want to take him in the other room and make some calls, that might be a good idea. This next bit can get a bit messy.”

*********************************

Mariana was half asleep, Cabur nestled next to her in the bed when Din brought Ad’ika quietly into the room.

“Mama’s very tired,” he whispered. “We don’t want to wake her up.”

“I’m awake,” she murmured, reaching out with her free arm. “Come here, Ad’ika. Meet your brother.”

Din placed him on the bed and Ad’ika gently reached out to touch Cabur’s face. “Vod,” he said.

“Yes, ad,” Mariana said. “His name is Cabur.”

“Cabur,” Ad’ika repeated. “Cabur. Cabur.” With each repetition of the name, he carefully touched his brother on the hand, the face, the hair. “My Cabur,” he said finally, looking up at Din, his little face aglow.

“Yes, Adi’ka,” Din replied, choking up. “He will be your protector. But right now, you will be his.”

*********************************************

Mando’a words:

Haalur = breathe

Gotenir = to give birth

draw = bright, glowing, strong, powerful

aaray = pain

Gett’se = courage, nerve

Mesh’la = beautiful

Ramikadyc = commando state of mind - an attitude that he/ she can do anything, endure anything, and achieve the objective. A blend of complete confidence and extreme tenacity instilled in special forces during training. Can also be used informally to describe a determined, focused person.

Tal’onodir = to sweat blood, to *give blood* - idiom for going that extra mile or making an all-out effort

Cabur = guardian, protector

#the mandalorian #star wars #grogu #pedro pascal character fanfiction #baby yoda #din djarin #din dijarin fanfiction #din djarin x original female character

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boredandelusive · 2 years

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Before It’s Too Late - XII (12).

I am in college, and because I hadn’t said anything about it, there were gaps in the schedule for when I upload. I am in marching band, and because of it, I won’t have as much time to write the stories I want to. If you can hold a bit of patience with me, the next chapter should be ready next monday.

"Gimel, ensure that my body makes it across the way to He. Watatsumi Island would be a better place to leave it," forming a pen in her hand, Laila wrote something on the other palm of her hand. Once the message was created, she took the note off her palm and gave it to Gimel. "The next place I go to is Inazuma, please try to ensure nothing happens to you."

Watching as the hypostasis chirped in response, he hovered off toward the sea, keeping Laila's body safe. "Your Grace, if I may-," Guizhong says suddenly, though the creator cleared her throat.

"Call me Laila, please. Hearing that title makes me feel unworthy of it because I left Teyvat, and my sister included." She says, though she looks concerned when she says it. "And now... if I can't save her, this world falls apart. Though, looking upon this world, I see that I never should have left." There was a pause in her words, though Laila looked at her ring.

Just half of her soul gem was covered in taint, and though it was normal for magical girls to keep grief seeds, if she didn't have one, and she couldn't save herself in time... Laila didn't want to think like that. "Whatever it is you need of me, Laila, I will do my best to fulfill," she was still a loyal god to the one who created her, the one which saved her life.

"Then I will need one other thing from you. Once Lumine and Paimon get back from Mondstadt, I am going to give you something. I need you to monitor the Fatui. When I remade your body, you have gained the ability to connect your senses to dirt and dust. If you hear or see anything related to the Fatui trying to take my body, I'll need you to tell me." Laila says as she held her hand in front of her, creating something from dust.

"This is what I'll use to communicate to you?" Guizhong asked, which the creator hummed in response. "I will protect it with my life, Laila," she says truthfully, which the god hummed in response.

"Istaroth!" she calls out, though seemingly no one responds. Moments later, a singular strike of lightning comes down near them, though Laila did not react. "It has been a while, hasn't it?" Laila asks softly, causing the elder god to kneel at the voice.

"Yes, ma'am, it has. Though I am more than thrilled to see your return, I must ask if there is a reason you have called upon me specifically." Istaroth, Laila's shining shade, the first of the Four Shining Shades of Teyvat, was the one who overlooked everything with humanity.

"There is a reason I've called you here, Istaroth. Tsaritsa plans on doing something, and though I am aware enough of her plans to bring down Celestia to reveal the true sky, she has also started sending her minions to retrieve my body. I will need you and Guizhong to work together and alert me if something happens to my physical body." Laila starts, though she moved closer to the envoy as if to say something quieter.

"If you have to, take control of my body. You know, it will be your primary objective to ensure my body does not land in Beria's hands. Be aware of anything that may happen, because you know how obsessive she gets. Figure out her plan, report it back to me. Once the Traveler comes back from Mondstadt, I leave for Inazuma. I still need to speak with Ei about her actions, and I will still need to find three archons to fit their positions."

"Laila!" a distant voice called out, causing her to look in the distance.

"Your Grace, this may be a bit of a request, but can you ensure my daughter does not get herself into harm?" Istaroth asks of her creator, which the woman nods in response.

"No harm will come to Paimon, I assure you of that. I'll see you soon, Istaroth," she says before watching the shining shade disperse to the wind. "Guizhong, once I meet up with Lumine, please try to prevent Tsaritsa from getting my body. I don't know what her plan is yet, and if you find out, let me know."

"I will." As the woman took her ring off, she watched as a geo slime bounced to her side and created a rock shield on its head. "Until we meet again, Your Grace," she says before walking away, looking at the device in her hand.

"Lumine," Laila calls out as a geo slime bounced to her, catching her attention. Kneeling down on the creature, she took the ring from the rock shield and slipped it onto her finger. Hiding the ring under her gloved finger, she went back and boarded the Alcor.

The ride to Inazuma wasn't too long. As the moment they docked, a man walked up to them. "You sure kept me waiting, Captain. And it appears as though we have some honored guests with us."

"Shush!" Paimon hushed immediately, though Beidou placed her hands on her hips.

"Lumine, this is Thoma, a trade partner I've gotten to know recently. Thoma, this is Lumine, and I'm sure you have heard enough about her." She introduced them both, though she turned to them next. "If you run into any problems here, talk to Thoma. Just let me know if he tries to pull any moves on you. I'll deal with him personally the next time."

As Lumine nodded in response, Beidou looked back to the Alcor, thinking for a moment. "If everything's settled, I'll be going. I wouldn't want to be caught with my sails down here. I have a wanted fugitive on board, after all." Waving goodbye to them both, she went back to the ship before leaving the docks.

"The first thing we'll need to do is go to the Inspector. With the Sakoku Decree in place, nothing gets past. Once we're done here, we'll go to the Outlander Affairs Agency, which we can get something to help you stay in Ritou for a while." Thoma made it sound like this wasn't the first time he's done this, though Lumine looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. "What's with the look on your face?"

"Why is it that Inazuma is a closed nation? And what is the Sakoku Decree?" Lumine asked out of the blue, catching him off guard. "Thoma, was it?" Laila asked, seeing as Paimon only just caught onto why she asked that question.

"That's a good question, and unfortunately, I don't know the reason for it." He wasn't the one closest to the Electro Archon, or her shadow, rather. There were other things on Laila's mind, but she needed to understand things.

"Then while Paimon and I are here, we'll figure that out," she says before letting Lumine take control of her body again. Looking at the floating pixie, she shrugged and shook her head, unknowing why Laila would come out suddenly. Though the man felt concerned about such a question, he kept his thoughts to himself.

"I have to say, judging by how you carry yourself, the rumors about you are true." Thoma says as the two continued walking, though they stopped in front of another building.

"What rumors?" Lumine didn't want anymore information about Laila getting out, though if an entire nation knew about her return, there wasn't a reason to hide the ring.

"About you defeating a dragon, about you saving a nation from a sealed god, though the 'how' is unclear. Being an outlander in a closed nation alone is an achievement." Thoma says before crossing his arms. "Whatever your intent may be to speak with the Raiden Shogun, nothing is set in stone, and you may cross paths with her. I can get you an audience with her, but it'll cost everything."

"Thoma, I can find a way into Ritou on my own, but from there, are you sure you can get me a way to meet the Shogun?" Lumine asked, which Thoma nodded in assurance. "And what do you mean by "cost everything"? You will be okay, right?"

"If my plan goes well, then you won't have to worry about me," he says truthfully, though both of them still shared worry. As the conversation ended there, Laila took control of Lumine's body once more. "What are you planning on doing?"

"Saving you time," she says as she walked down to the guard between Ritou and Narukami Island.

"Halt, who goes there?" he asks in a stern tone, though Laila moved her hands behind her back. "Traveler, it's you. Unless you have a Traveling Permit, you may not go between Ritou and Narukami Island freely."

"Actually, I thought I just gave you my Traveling Permit," behind her back, her psychic powers reached into his mind. "See? It's right there in your hands." She pointed out, causing the man to look at the "note" in his hand.

"You're right. My apologies for that. Use this as a bridge between Narukami Island and Ritou." He moved out of the way, his eyes still glowing pink as Laila passed by him. As the two made it across the beach, the moment they stepped into Narukami Island, she moved her hands from behind her before letting Lumine take control of her body once more.

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TAGLIST - @sheepispink @karmawonders @lilqi @atsukawolfcat @magica-ren

#Genshin #genshin fanfic #genshin impact #genshin sagau #sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau genshin #genshin self aware #self aware genshin #Genshin self aware au #self aware genshin au #istaroth #inazuma #thoma #beidou #lumine #paimon

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grumpyascianteddybear · 1 year

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I know I don't talk much about Hadi's bunny verse, but today you guys are getting some in-depth info. I had an epiphany while writing a reply to that verse. Mostly because I had to sit and think about timeline stuff.

So, Hadi was born while the Solus body was still young, between 19-20. I will use 20 because that makes the math easier. Hadi spends her early life with her mother and father on the front lines. Her mother was killed in the line of duty. At least, that is the official story. What actually happened is that Emet planned to keep Hadi's mother by his side even after becoming emperor. Only the soldier didn't like that and tried getting rid of both mother and child. Hadi survived because she was with her father when the soldiers came.

They came back to find her mother dead in their tent. It was shortly after that Emet became emperor. Life in the palace wasn't great for her either. The woman her father married wasn't necessarily cruel to her, but she certainly wasn't nice. Her half-siblings weren't mean to her. They tried to ride the middle ground and often came off as cold. Hadi never blamed them for it cause she knew she was the favorite where their father was concerned.

When she was around 20, she joined The Populares to strive for peace. Hadi devised many plans that would have been good infrastructure and allowed Garlemald to be self-sufficient. These plans never saw the light of day. Though she had the ability to force her way onto the Senate floor, they always laughed at her. They preferred her father warring ways. Eventually, it became too dangerous for her to stay, so she skipped off to Sharlyan at 25.

Once there, she became a gleaner. At that time, it was mostly getting rare books. The forum wanted to do more but didn't know how to make it happen. About two years after she got there, Hadianna had tweaked her old plans to better fit what the forum wanted to do. After this, she got an audience with them and pitched the plans. She had the know-how for making the tech they needed to make this dream.

With forum approval, she was put in charge of making Laberynthos into what it is today. It took about 25 years to get the thing up and running. Another 5 were needed to get the artificial environment stable. Once that was done, the gleaners started being sent out to gather the living samples. The forum was also aware they would need someone to oversee the place. There was also an open seat.

Hadianna had not expected the nomination or to be voted in by the people. She had never hidden the fact she was from Garlemald. Even so, she took the seat and has served the star to the best of her abilities ever since. She did not vote against helping Eorzea with the towers. Her father didn't raise a fool, and she knew staying out of it was a bad idea. She also never trusted Hydelen. Something about it always stunk to her, but her father may have colored her view a bit on that.

Looking back, she often wonders if she has done all she can. She had been in Sharlyan for almost fifty years. She has been on the forum for almost 20 years. Should she remain? Or should she go home and see of Garlemald is finely ready for peace? She still has the original plans, after all.

#of twilight (hadi headcannon)

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suupernormal · 3 months

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ᴠɪᴏʟᴇᴛ ᴘᴀʀʀ ;; 𝖘𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊 & 𝖚𝖓𝖚𝖘𝖚𝖆𝖑

Pansexual ⋆ She/Her ⋆ Twenty-Six ⋆ Superhuman

Powers ;; Invisibility, Force Field Creation/Manipulation

Occupation ;; Electrical Engineer

♫ Currently Playing ♫ ;; Raw Raw by K. Flay

☀ Cancer ☾ Capricorn ↑ Cancer

Being the firstborn came with a laundry list of things that Violet had to deal with that her siblings didn’t. The first of which was being a super baby to a couple of super parents. She wasn’t even walking yet and it was discovered that she had powers of her own. Before she knew how to tie her shoes Violet learned how to control the constant tingling inside of her. At first it was just the invisibility, knowing that she could vanish from the world whenever it got too heavy which came in handy when someone had the anxiety that she did. A place that had never felt safe for her to be who she was made it difficult to fit in and not want to blend into the background. Violet had always been better at that anyway, preferring to stay out of the spotlight and most social situations. This posed to be quite the opposite of her younger brother who she thought was constantly crying out for attention. From the moment her brothers were born she knew that she would do anything to protect them. Family came first in her life, especially since it wasn’t a secret that hunters had an eye out for people just like them. An entire family of supers was unheard of and Violet was always looking over her shoulder at who could be lurking behind her. They had been maintaining their secret well but all of that changed when she found out that her boyfriend at the time, Morrigan Diaval, was working against the Order. All of that concern came to fruition after she trusted someone with her heart and knew she had to break it to protect her family. If he continued to get close to her it was only a matter of time before he found out what her abilities were which put her family in dangerous water. Violet knew what she had to do but regretted it every day, pushing away the only person she let in.

Instead of staying stuck on a boy she invested in her studies, working with the idea of going to a good school and doing something good in the world. She wanted to make a difference which was why she went into electrical engineering with a minor in environmental studies. It was the building blocks for her to help find a better way for the world to live their everyday lives while also protecting the only Earth they had. All of her work paid off when she got a job offer to work on an independent study to find better, more environmentally friendly ways to use energy on the Isle. Violet jumped at the opportunity, especially since it was close to her family. It was at that same time that she found out her boss was none other than Claire Reina and she had more than just one job to offer her. The Order needed more people who wanted the best for everyone on the Isle, those who wanted life to stay how it was while also providing a safe place for those who were different. Knowing her family wouldn’t approve of her using her powers so openly, so she decided to keep her identity hidden and all of her jobs for Claire on a strict need to know basis. Violet is doing her best to maintain her normal life as well as the one she’s been hiding for the greater good. Until the borders are open Violet sees that there is a job to be done and people to protect, including the family she loves more than anything.

She wants to tell her family about what she's been doing but doesn't want to put them in more danger. Violet thinks she should handle it herself and tell them once it's over.

Her best friend is her pet cat, Hammy. When she doesn't feel like she can talk to anyone, she has him.

Even though they drive her crazy, her family is everything to her and she doesn't know where she'd be without them. She doesn't say it enough but she loves them the most.

Most of the time Violet can be seen wearing headphone. She rarely doesn't have a pair on as she goes through her daily activities, she prefers ti block out the world whenever possible. Not to mention that music is something that always grounds her and helps her relax when her anxiety gets too high.

Another way she copes with her anxiety is smoking weed but she hasn't told many people about it especially not her parents. She doesn't want them to freak out and feels like it's something better kept private anyway.

Tbd

#ᴡᴇ ᵃᶜᵗ ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ! ɪ ᴡᴀɴɴᴀ ᵇᵉ ɴᴏʀᴍᴀʟ! ( about. )

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byoldervine · 3 months

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Forbidden Characters

So I've got a few characters that were originally planned out for my WIP book Byoldervine, but have either been removed from the story or didn't make the cut in the concept phase. I figured it would be fun to introduce them to you guys as they may appear as background characters later on if needed, and I think it's funny to look back on what these characters could've brought to the story and why it didn't fit the vision

First off, we have Perianth 'Peri' Attolus, and to be honest she's the one I'm most upset about losing. Back when I was still writing Byoldervine as a duology, Perianth was going to be a main character in 'The Heir and the Cure', in which Perianth was going to team up with Kennedy and Connor to travel Paracosm searching for a cure for the Byoldervine Sickness. If you've read my other post concerning the Celestials, you might've worked out that Perianth was intended to be Nordsvark Attolus' daughter - her motivation would've been to complete her father's work to find a cure. Perianth is very sweet and friendly, but also quite naive due to her sheltered upbringing. Perianth would've been considered a 'powerless goddess', not worthy of taking her father's place as the realm's deity in the event of his death, though it would later have been discovered that she has shapeshifting abilities

The reason I cut her from the story was the realisation that she served very little purpose to the actual plot aside from providing the inciting incident, and I had this realisation when I figured out that I could combine my duology into one book. Her notable traits were also very easily filled by other existing characters; there's an overabundance of godly princesses already, Sy loves fashion and experimenting with their appearance, Connor is very chipper and friendly, Lazulai has a close connection with Nordsvark that can provide the same inciting incident/plot progression Perianth would have, etc. Plus I figured I'd need to do as much as possible with the Cantor siblings as possible to justify so many names to memorise. Ultimately Perianth was pretty expendable to the plot, even if it sucks that she's been cut

Next up, we have Sadie, who was also originally planned for 'The Heir and the Cure'. Sadie is a selkie who lives on the island of Haffolk in Paracosm, working as a lifeguard to ensure the safety of anyone who may hear a siren singing in the water. Originally Sadie was going to join the main gang after helping them out when they arrived in Haffolk. Sadie is another sweet and friendly person, one who is naturally helpful and curious, though at times she can put the safety of others before her own. Sadie's language is also Mer, which as I've discussed before is largely just a game of humming and singing at a certain pitch and frequency to communicate. Because of this, she struggles to properly communicate with the rest of the gang, but she always does her best despite being largely non-verbal

The reasons why Sadie was cut are pretty much the same as for Perianth; so little plot impact and so many other characters who could take on her notable traits - save for the lanaguage barrier. Sadie wasn't originally created for the story, anyway; she was first created as a Wattpad roleplay character back when I was in my early teens, and I figured it would be good to bring her into the story. I'll likely bring her in as a minor character if I have the current group head to Haffolk, but unless I get to that point Sadie's going back to just being an old roleplay character

This final character is interesting because she was never actually planned as part of Byoldervine at all; Eleanor Stevens was Persephone's half-sister back in Persephone's concept phase, before Byoldervine was even an idea in my head. I cringe thinking back on all this, but back in lockdown I started writing a fanfic (I'm NOT saying what the fic was from, I never published it thank god) whose main character was Rory Stevens. The plot was something along the lines of a superhero team trying to learn the secrets of a new and much more publicly-respected superhero, trying to form alliances and gain an understanding of their mysterious powers and all that stuff while also navigating further plots from supervillains, cultists, demons and even their own manipulative leader. Eleanor was Rory's beloved half-sister who she tries her best to always look out for, with Eleanor even being the reason Rory became a superhero in the first place. Eleanor was a very shy girl working hard to improve her social skills, though when she was with her older sister or anyone else she was already comfortable with, she would be chatting your ear off and making random or even occasionally inappropriate jokes. She also had quite a strong sense of justice, which could lead to her going feral if someone was giving her or someone she cares about a hard time. She was very fun to write

I eventually realised that "Hey, this fic could actually work as a standalone story if I changed some character names around, nobody would even realise it's supposed to be a fic of X media" and Rory Stevens became Persephone Foster for the book 'Unholy War', which by this point is just going to be 'Byoldervine' since I've combined the two books into one. Unfortunately I couldn't work out a legitimate reason for Eleanor's existence when Alicia can always just text her existing daughter back once in a while if she wanted to be a mum again. I could potentially introduce Eleanor as a step-sister for angst if I feel like it, but I don't think I'll be going down that route unless I get a sudden burst of inspiration down the line

But yeah, these are my characters that didn't make it into Byoldervine and the reasons why. It's actually really cool for me to be able to reflect on these characters and realise just how far this has come, especially since Eleanor shows just how far back the general plot pre-dates even Byoldervine's conception

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ramshacklestar · 6 months

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@wishkept sent || [ HELP ] for the taller muse to use the advantage of their stature to shield the shorter one from (magift discus). (From Deuce)

‘TOL AND SMOL’ PROMPTS || Accepting

Why was she doing this again? It wasn’t enough that the poor girl was left in a coma during the first tourney when the disc had collided with her head making her world go black in an instant; it wasn’t enough that the infirmary nurses had advised against her trying to play magift again since she had no magical ability to fight back against the opposing team making her a large disability to whatever team she may have been on. ‘Try something like cheering’ she was advised by the school’s medical staff but cheerleading didn’t seem like it’d really fit the imagery of NRC. Yuu didn’t exactly fit into the imagery of the school either granted, but that was hardly the point, she was a student of this school and as such she wanted to be able to participate in some of the activities it opened to its students.

Initially she had stared by trying to get onto one of the brooms but as was normal at this point she wasn’t able to get anymore than a few inches into the air and that was likely just because she was jumping and not actually flying. Having that taken from her by one of their classmates that was originally meant to be a runner Yuu took over their position becoming winded on account of not having any sort of physical reserves in her body like those of the spelldrive club, basketball club or track club who had a normalcy about running around for long treks. Again, suggestions arose on account of Yuu’s lack of physical expertise for her to join the board games club, science club or any of the others that required no real physical work, and again she’d refused.

Finally, when both sides deemed themselves set the mock game began the team was split up with the student on the broom being the main line of defense, the two runners being the second line and Yuu put in place of the goal so she wouldn’t bring the team down with her lack of running and magical prowess. It was deemed the best place for her and all her team would need to do is knock the opposing sides players out of the way and get the disc before it’d get anywhere near her. In theory it was a simple task, but when you had the spelldrive club against you who had perfected the game it became more an issue.

That issue made itself apparent when the student on the broom was knocked off thumping onto the field and the runners were trying to manage the opposite sides own runners and as such not keeping an eye on the flyer. The disc was slung, the goal Yuu was guarding the target and Yuu standing watching the disc not entirely sure that a simple hit like Leona had done during the tourney would be enough from her. She couldn’t let her team down though so Yuu lifted her fists preparing for impact and what would no doubt be pain, but it was something that never came as a dark grey familiar jumpsuit took over her vision taking the hit of the disc in her stead. Where it had hit Deuce it appeared as though it would have hit Yuu’s head again which would have resulted in yet another coma, but at the moment she wasn’t sure if she was happy it hadn’t hit her or devastated it’d hit Deuce.

“Deuce!” Came the concerned cry Yuu wrapping her arms around his waist so if he was to fall as she had when hit by the disc at least it’d be somewhat cushioned. “Why did you—you didn’t need to do that! I-I could have taken it, I’ve handled worse.” Yuu was on the brink of crying a flurry of concern and frustration festering and mingling together coming out in tears. Even still maybe she was a little grateful that she hadn’t been knocked in the head again, the possibility of her not waking up again always there. Sniffling Yuu untangled one arm from around Deuce to wipe her tears on her sleeve before continuing.

“Th-thank you, but we got to get you to the infirmary. I won’t have you staying hurt…not on my account.”

#i'm just me || ic.#wishkept

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devilishdemise · 12 years

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DevilishDemise And FieryInnocence - September 17th, 2012

Anna Belle: [Opening the styrofoam dinner box, I picked at the crust on my club sandwich. The restaurants around the hotel were locally owned and that meant limited items on their menu. But the roasted turkey sounded appetizing and I couldn't complain when I lift it to my lips and take a bite, a quiet moan building in the back of my throat.

My eyes move around the room, scanning it over for the hundredth time today. It's driving me stir crazy being here, but I have a job to do and tomorrow is when it's meant to begin. @DevilishDemise had crossed my mind several times today and while I don't mind him being there, I can't help but wonder about his ability to to cause more trouble for me than I'd ever imagined.

Another bite of my sandwich elicits another moan and I'm glad that @DevilishDemise hadn't caught me eating yesterday. A smile forms on my lips and @DevilishDemise's dark eyes come to mind. Endless stories hidden in them. And part of me hoped we'd meet again so I could learn at least half of them.]

Darius: -I sit on the edge of my messy bed, my head hanging as I tried to clear all thoughts of @FieryInnocence from my head. How was it that she was able to capture my attention so fully?

I shake my head and pull in a deep breath a slow low groan leaving me as @FieryInnocence's scent was still heavy in my nose and lungs. Everything about @FieryInnocence had enticed both mine and my dark side's interests and the Beast in me was hungry to see @FieryInnocence again.

My lip curves up in a snarl, my vision darkening as my body crackles with sparks my dark magic sweeps up my spine. I feel my muscles contract, tensing and hear a distorted growl slip past my lips. I clench my fists feeling my claws start to protrude and force the Beast from fully emerging.

I huff out a sharp breath through my nose in relief when I regain control. How could I expect @FieryInnocence to want to be near a cursed and tortured monster such as myself? He'd rip and bathe in her blood and I'd be useless to stop him. I hiss out a dark growl through my tight firm lips at the mere thought.-

I'd never allow it.

-I grit out the words with my palms moving to scrub over the scruff at my jaw. I'd never allow myself to get so close to @FieryInnocence to risk that side to emerge. No, I needed to stay away from @FieryInnocence. It was for the best...but one look. One peek in on her, that could do no harm, true?

I shake my head again trying to talk myself out of it right before I summoned up my dark magic to dematerialize off to the last place I'd seen @FieryInnocence, sticking to the dark shadows as I used them to hide my presence. I watched the front of the small hotel, eyes scanning for any signs of @FieryInnocence, my boots tapping as I grew impatient.

Where is she? I close my eyes, trying to remotely view where she was in the building and my lips curve into a grin as I locate @FieryInnocence I fade off to materialize in front of @FieryInnocence's door, my knuckles rapping on the door softly with a disapproving sigh when I had seen what she had been eating. That was not a meal fit for anyone, much less a fine female such as @FieryInnocence.-

Anna Belle: [My head turns, trying to decide if I actually hear someone knock or if I was making it up. Listening more intently, I sit up, laying my sandwich back down in the box, pushing myself out of my seat. Wiping my hands on my napkin, I smooth out my dress and pad quietly to the door. My eyes widen at the sight of @DevilishDemise, mouth falling open in surprise.]

Darius? H-how did you know where to find me?

[My gaze falters, looking over @DevilishDemise's form, more than concerned at his ability to track me down.]

Darius: -I smirk down at you turning on my devilish charm with a wink as I hear both your spoken and unspoken words-

I have my ways, I'm very resourceful when something's caught my attention.

-I nod toward the small room beyond you.-

Care to invite me in? I promise to keep my hands to myself, unless you'd rather I'd not.

-I lean my shoulder against the jab of the door my mind reading your thoughts and concerns as they flitted by in your head-

Anna Belle: [Deciding against prying any further, I move to the side, letting you pass into the room.]

Yes. Come on in, @DevilishDemise.

[Worries my lower lip, watching as you move beside me to enter. Part of me feels like reaching out to grab your hand, but I know it's merely the attraction wanting me to do that.]

Did you have a decent day, @DevilishDemise?

Darius: -I stride past you, eyes taking in the poor excuse for a room and your choice of a meal, my lip turning up slightly before I turned back to you.-

Yes, it was fine, and how was yours?

-I stay standing watching as you moved away from the door-

Anna Belle: [Watches you, your eyes scrutinizing my makeshift home. It makes me uneasy and I shift my weight from one foot to another.]

It was spent here and talking to my boss, #Donald.

[Lifts a shoulder in a shrug.]

Is something wrong, @DevilishDemise?

Darius: -I shake my head at the mention of work and look down at the sandwich sitting in the box then back at you-

Yes, your meal is unacceptable and unsubstantial.

-I grin with dark eyes glinting in your direction-

Will you join me for a late dinner?

Anna Belle: [Frowns, looking from my sandwich back up to you.]

There's not a thing wrong with that, @DevilishDemise! It's perfectly acceptable and astonishingly tasty.

[Grumbles under my breath, moving past you to grab my food.]

And just for that, @DevilishDemise, no. I'd rather eat my "unacceptable" sandwich in the company of my, more than likely, unacceptable room. Which I quite like, @DevilishDemise.

[I took a bite of my sandwich, hoping to not reveal that my room was killing me. So dark and dreary, even my dresses couldn't breathe life into it.]

And you couldn't make me anyway, @DevilishDemise. You're a stranger and I'd say you kidnapped me!

Darius: -My chest shook from silent laughter, your words biting out as your thoughts screamed quite the contrary.-

Are you sure about that, Anna? I believe you to be fibbing.

-I moved forward to approach your slender body slowly not wanting to frighten you off. I keep a short distance between us, my presence hard to ignore and my magic thick in the air-

Do you you believe in magic, Anna?

-I gaze down at you with dark fire blazing behind my eyes as I awaited your response-

Anna Belle: [I don't even have to look up to feel the pull. The very pull that's had you in my mind all night and day. Shrugging my shoulders, I become more interested in the styrofoam plate.]

I don't know. Perhaps..?

Darius: -I grin watching your nervous actions, your eyes refusing to look up into mine. I get an idea and lean down to whisper huskily into your ear, finger curled under your chin to tilt it up-

Close your eyes and picture your favorite meal. Trust me, I won't harm you.

-I keep my gaze downcast as I watch and wait to see if you'd do as I asked-

Anna Belle: [My eyes close when you move closer, the deep huskiness of your voice stealing my breath. I've no words and can only nod, resisting every urge inside me to tilt my head just a little, wanting to feel your lips on mine, just as they were on my temple yesterday. Trying hard to focus, I release a shaky breath and think of a dinner my grandmother made, long before... I stop the memory and focus on the meal; peach cobbler and roasted vegetables, a tender roast. A soft moan falls from my lips before I can stop it and I feel my cheeks flush in embarrassment.]

I-I'm sorry..

[Covers my chest, not daring to open my eyes.]

Darius: -I see the visuals play out in my head, turning to touch the sandwich with my fingertips, burning it away with my powers before waving my palm over the now empty space, materializing the meal you'd pictured before us. I turn back to you, a soft grin playing on my lips. I lean in and slowly close the gap between us to connect with those soft pink lips I'd been kicking myself mentally over not kissing the evening before. I hum out a bare moan at the gentle touch reluctantly leaning back to whisper across them-

Open your eyes…

Anna Belle: [Inhales sharply when I feel your lips, your stubble lightly scratching over my skin. Your words break me from the moment I was having with you in my mind, my eyes barely unable to focus anywhere but on yours.]

What do you..

[Trailing off my hand instinctively reaches for yours, squeezing it tightly. Though I can barely ignore the hum of electricity passing between us, I pay it little mind when I see the very food I'd thought of.]

W-what? How'd you.. Darius..?

Darius: -I chuckle catching your surprise and gripping your hand in mine to keep you upright. I rest my other on your hip moving you toward the vacant seat, and helping you into it-

Magic, that's how.

-I wink playfully, scooting your chair under the table before turning to sink into the one across from you.I grin devilishly over to you before nodding to the food-

Eat up.

Anna Belle: [My eyes flicker up to yours before looking back down at the food. How on earth? No magic I'd ever -- well, I've never seen magic before. Lifting the fork, I notice my hand is shaking slightly. It would seem I'm completely incapable of reacting as I normally would when you're around. I take a bite of the cobbler first, my eyes closing the moment the spices and sweetness explodes on my tongue. My head falls back just a bit and a moan forms in my throat. It's good. Very good. Just like my grandmother's, if not better.]

Darius: -I nearly drop the fork sitting in the cradle of my hand as your throaty moan leaves you, your neck arches beautifully in the low lights of the run down hotel room, and my mouth watered at the thought of sucking and biting along it. Just a taste. One is all I wanted, needed, and craved. I feel the clawing start low in my gut and I shift in my seat suddenly uncomfortable.

I attempt to stave off the feeling, cutting into a bite of the food hoping it would be sufficient to appease the Beast before he threatened to emerge. I clear my throat taking the bite with a low hum of approval, my eyes flickering between my food and yours sparkling toward me when you dared to sneak a glance-

Anna Belle: [Tilts my head for a moment, brows furrowed. Your eyes. They.. No, it must be the lighting. I force a smile and cut into the roast, whispering softly before taking a bite.]

Thank you. For this.. magic or not, it's amazing.

[Meets your dark gaze and allows the meat to rest on my tongue, biting back another moan. Shifting slightly in my chair to get more comfortable, my foot brushes against your calf and I feel that jolt again. The pull is growing more and more.]

Sorry…

Darius: -My vision darkens at the soft brush of your foot, my jaw tightening as I fight the growl from escaping. I slam my lids shut briefly, force a smile across my lips, attempting to make it seem as genuine as possible.-

You're very welcome.

-I cut into another bite, my fingers gripped tightly around the utensil, my knuckles white-

So how long do you plan on staying in town?

-I take the bite into my mouth, attempting to keep the subject light to avoid thoughts of clearing the table and enjoying a feast of your body rather than the delicious meal-

Anna Belle: [Stabbing a vegetable, I spot your grip on the silverware, your fingers long and thick. Despite trying to think pure thoughts of you, I remember what it felt like when you held my hip and how cool your breath was last night in the bar as it fanned across my skin. And your smell. And those lips... gosh, those lips.

My eyes lift to your face, memorizing those very lips that held me captive, the words that left them, the sounds and how they feel.. My food is no longer all in craving and it shocks me. Shocks me because this is a feeling I've never had before now. And I'm left trying to blame the magic. Last night it was Merlot's fault and tonight, it's the magic's.]

Darius: -I chuckled seeing your gaze so focused on my lips and not the words spilling from them, I peek out my tongue to swipe across my firm lips, your thoughts continuously playing as I leaned back, one arm resting over the back of my seat as I followed your eyes trailing over me-

Have I lost you, darling?

-My lips lift in a sly smirk-

Anna Belle: [Blinks several times, shaking my head, stumbling over my words.]

N-no. I um.. I'll be here for.. a week.

[Nods, taking a deep breath, feeling my face grow hot, knowing I'm ten shades of red by now.]

A week. I'll leave Friday.

[Smiles softly, feeling a small loss at the idea of leaving. But it's my job. And you're just a stranger. Nodding, more for myself, my eyes fall back to your lips. Oh how I wouldn't mind feeling them again before I left. Just once.]

Darius: -I sigh out a breath slowly and nod sadly. Friday. Not long, but long enough to get to know her. I'd be able to keep control of that side of me until you were scheduled to leave. I nod again not sure if I was doing it to reassure myself or trying to convince myself that all would be fine. I knew you wouldn't find anything on Marcos.

I'd taken care to wipe anything that could lead back to the club, and you'd be on your way to wherever you came before you entered Trinity. I furrow my brows thinking if spending one night with you had me this drawn to you, that spending even more time would not end as badly as I feared.-

Would you be opposed to spending more time with me while you are here?

Anna Belle: [Shakes my head, moving to stand, reaching over to grab your plate.]

It wouldn't hurt to have someone who knows the place, so I suppose not.

[Meets your gaze, eyes searching yours, my hair falling as if to shield us. A thickness surrounds me, making it hard to breath and I step back, almost out of shock and move to the bin, tossing the plates. My heart pounding as my mind races and everything sweeps over me. I glance over my shoulder at you and take a deep breath. Unusual feelings for a stranger? Impossible. Never in my life...]

Darius: -I rise from my seat, eyes following your movements as you walked over to dispose of the remaining food. I stride silently over, palms and fingers sliding up your forearms, your thoughts easily read along with the wild beating of your heart to my sensitive ears. I growl out lowly and lean in to whisper out-

I'll see you soon then. Enjoy your sweet slumber, Anna.

-Your face turns up to me, your lips quivering softly and I press a soft tender kiss to them a moment before I faded off leaving you breathless and with no sign of how I left the room so suddenly-

Anna Belle: [Gasps, fingertips tracing my lips, my voice shaky.]

Darius?

[Holding on tightly, one word falling from my lips quietly.]

Stay...

[I searched for you, my eyes scanning every inch of my room and found nothing. Sighing heavily, I slipped out of my dress, not even bothering with pajamas, and fell into bed, my heart almost aching in your absence.]

Good night..

#surrealink #phoenixprophecy #rp #darius #Annabelle

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robotpals · 2 years

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"The Art of Showing Up"

I’m genuinely not trying to be mean, but the absolute best thing I can say about this book is that I find it deeply funny that, considering the book is about how to be a good friend, I would rather perish than be the author’s friend. For an expert on friendship, she seems terrible.

I learned nothing, either about the concept of friendship or myself, but I certainly felt condescended to the whole time I was learning nothing.

The prose was deeply embarrassing—childish and Buzzfeed-y. And the author deployed exclamation points at a rate that was frankly concerning, sometimes three (three!!! like an eight year old!) or more at a time. I had the absurd sense that, despite being about learning to put down your phone, it was written to be hashtag quotable on twitter.

For a millennial whose idea of relaxation after a long day of “doomscrolling” (an actual term she actually uses in the book. Gag!!!) is a bath, some true crime podcasts, and a glass of atrocious Californian rosé, I’m sure this book is a revelation. If however, you are a human person who has spent more than one second in self-reflection in the past five years, you’ll want to tear your hair out.

I shouldn’t be so harsh. I’m certainly not the target audience (this was a book club read) as I despise social media, texting, and refuse to make myself accessible 24/7. I’m curious what the instagram-obsessed members of my book club will say, because most of the book was (predictably) “maybe being on your phone all the time and refusing to interact with the real world or real humans in any true sense has dulled your ability to connect and live a genuine life.” Which, duh!!!!

Okay, no more being mean. If I weren't so new to this book club, I probably would have skipped this book. I’m biased against self-help as a genre for two reasons: first, I, unfortunately, do have a streak of narcissism that makes me feel as though I don’t need any self-help in the first place, and, if it should exist then I should be writing it; and second, it always seems to be such a bizarre proponent for the promulgation of gender constructs. For example, in any library at any law school, there will be a selection of self-help books targeted to law students and practitioners. The books “for” men are deeply practical—how to study for finals, how to approach writing emails to partners, how to ace interviews. The books “for” women are, at best, frivolous, and at worst offensive. Instead of tips for academic or professional success, the books are 150-pages of “here’s how to fit a workout into your busy mornings while you’re trying to study for the bar so that your husband won’t stop having sex with you because you gained five pounds!”

This book infuriated me partially because it was so close to presenting a different paradigm for self-help for women. There was one sentence about how eating vegetables will help you, but absolutely nothing about dieting. The author is a supporter of body-neutrality, which meant I didn’t have to read about “body positivity” and how even if I’m fat there’s probably a man who would have sex with me. When discussing sexual health, she listed dental dams along with condoms and the pill. She acknowledged ableism, and ageism, and homophobia, and transphobia and never once said her book was “for women” in the way that so many self-help books are.

But that makes it worse. It could have been a book representative of a diverse and varied readership, and instead it treated readers in the same babying fashion as every woman self-help book. I imagine the audiobook, if read by the author, would be hours of cutesy baby-talk, interspersed with a “fuck” or two to better foster connection with an imagined audience of easily-impressed millennials. “Wow!!!” We say, clapping our hands like children. “She says the f-word just like us!!!!!!!!” Please.

It’s insulting to read because it could have been good. God! It could have been so good. But, alas, in her preoccupation with the twitter habits of her readers, our author forgot to analyze her own.

#bookrevs #the art of showing up #(I cannot be bothered to type out whatever mess is the subtitle)#rachel wilkerson miller

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theladyofbloodshed · 2 years

Text

STEEL & FLAME PART TEN (18+ chapter)

‘It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,’ Lucien said softly, smoothing a wayward lock of her hair that had been framing her face.

Nesta let out a shaky sigh. ‘It’s not even that. It’s the fact that I am constantly the butt of their joke. I feel so insignificant around them.’ Lucien had known that feeling well, growing up with six elder brothers who were all desperate to puff up their feathers and prove to their father they were the mightiest. All had been desperate to carve a claim to his mantle, not caring who suffered as a result. He had been picked on relentlessly in his youth so preferred to stay at his mother’s side where his brothers were less inclined to strike. Cocksure Eris was certain he’d be high lord regardless so tended to leave him alone, but the others had used Lucien as their punching bag time and time again. ‘You do not have to see them again - not if you don’t want to.’ ‘Pretend I’m out each time they come here? Gone for a night-time stroll in the mortal village?’ Her words came out full of scorn, but Lucien was learning that Nesta hid her pain that way. He stroked a hand across her forehead, turning her to look at him. ‘I’ll spin the greatest lies ever told for you. That the attor came and spirited you away. That you have moved into the Weaver’s cottage for peace.’ ‘The Weaver?’ Lucien smiled slightly. ‘Something between a death god and a witch. Terribly frightening.’ ‘I do like the sound of that. Perhaps that could be my career choice.’ They hadn’t spoken after his limerick until the Night Court had departed. They’d heard Jurian ushering them out with a brusqueness unheard of in mortals - particularly when faced with Illyrian warriors - but Jurian had the heart of a lion where his friends were concerned. He cared more for deeds than reputation. The Night Court hadn’t earned his respect. Lucien tipped Nesta forwards so he could kiss her temple. ‘I will not rush you into anything. Don’t let that conversation sway you. Know that you have my heart, as long as you want it. Sleep well.’ ‘Goodnight Lucien. I hope Vassa received the news she wanted. And I’m sorry that I ruined your meeting with my tantrum.’ In the doorway, Lucien snorted. ‘I should thank you for getting me out of their insufferable righteousness.’ *** The days that followed were quiet. Nesta felt a little guilty that she had stolen Lucien’s attention from Jurian since Vassa was always occupied during the day, but the man didn’t complain. As it happened, Lucien was busy often himself, sometimes returning to Prythian, so Nesta ended up spending more time with Jurian alone than Lucien. He’d set Nesta on duties sometimes when they were alone, simple ones where he’d tease and ask if a well-to-do lady knew how to wash dishes and if her dainty hands were capable of it. Sometimes he’d lead her around the garden on Sorrell so she could get a feel of the horse’s motions, but his eyes would always scan the perimeter for threats. Jurian never settled fully, never could rest entirely. Nesta had come out of that Cauldron as a different being, but Jurian had returned the same - the only difference being that he had been trapped for half a millennium. His wariness and paranoia were understandable. Any friends or family from the mortal lands were long gone. The mortals were unsettled by him, as were the fae. Never fitting in anywhere, he had carved a place with the exiled son of a high lord and the cursed mortal queen. His digs at Nesta were perhaps less to get under her skin than an unsure way of becoming companions. Five hundred years alone would do terrible things to anyone. She saw some of herself in him; the same protective shield, the ability to be a thorn in one’s side. She liked Jurian she decided one day when he showed her how to make bread while cursing relentlessly at the dough's consistency. The best days were when Lucien returned from his travels. Some days, his skin was delightfully warm and sun kissed despite the winter blanketing the mortal lands in snow. Other times, Nesta could smell pollen and sweet flowers on him from wherever he had been. He’d lean in to kiss her hand as a greeting and remind her of his Solstice gift that he would take her anywhere she wanted to go. Jurian would depart for villages or to speak with other mortals, as if he had been unwilling to leave her and Vassa alone without any sort of defence – or to give them privacy. Probably the latter, judging by the winks he'd give Lucien before he left.

She would tuck her legs up on the couch with a book and Lucien’s head would be in her lap while she read. Sometimes he stroked her fingers, following the curve of her nails and each ridge of her knuckles like he was committing them to memory. Other times he’d close his eyes and ask her to read aloud. She’d read with a thumb gently brushing his brow as his fire burnt in the hearth or she’d weave a hand beneath his collar to rest it on his chest. They'd play games or do jigsaw puzzles, feasting on whatever Jurian had cooked. Vassa would slink down the stairs in the evenings and Nesta would try and talk to her, try and get to know her for Lucien's sake. If conversation ever started veering towards her father, Lucien would steer it to another sea, a steadier one, and squeeze her fingers.

Little by little, Nesta was falling in love. Every teasing line, every handsome smile, all of it was contributing to the flutters of her heart. Lucien would take her out in the cold, bundle her up in scarves and shawls, just to show her the first snowdrops of the year. He’d bring her little gifts from his travels, trinkets and treats, delighting in her smiles. He always ensured she was warm and happy. Still, he offered to take her back to the Night Court if she wished it, or to take her any place she wanted. He was patient and kind, too good for her. But he also had a dirty sense of humour that he tried to hide from her; she’d overheard it a few times when he chatted with Vassa and Jurian, as if afraid to spill such things in front of Nesta. She wouldn’t have minded it.

‘What should I do for him?’ She pondered one day when Jurian had set her on chopping the vegetables. Lucien had been away for one night and already she felt restless without his presence. ‘I want to think him for his kindness.’

Jurian raised a dark brow. ‘I know one thing that will make him very, very happy. ’

‘Head out of the gutter, if you please.’

Jurian chortled, hacking at the joint of pork like a butcher. ‘He’s ready and willing, Nesta.’

Nesta’s blush scorched her cheeks. ‘I wouldn’t even know where to begin.’

‘I’ll show you anytime,’ he winked. Nesta slapped him on the arm for his daring which the male only laughed it. ‘It’s not difficult. Take your clothes off and Lucien will do the rest. He’s had centuries of practise.’

Nesta stammered, trying to form words of sense, while Jurian’s laughter started up. She did not need advice from Jurian. Her books had given her a good enough idea of what to do. She had thought sex was something that only occurred in a bed and only ever with the male on top – her mind had been blown wide open by some of the things she’d read.

‘You could always accept the bond. That’ll make him happy.’

A squirm of discomfort writhed in her stomach at that comment. A marriage to leapfrog her family higher in status had always been her intended path. Nesta would have stomached an unhappy marriage to a man she did not care for if it meant she had contributed to her family’s success. But a marriage could be fifty, sixty years. Accepting a mating bond was an eternity. Lucien was not a bad man, in reality, he was a wonderful man – but forever seemed so daunting. She did not know how Feyre had agreed to her own bond in a matter of months. Feyre had committed to forever with Rhysand with little thought.

‘It’s scary,’ she admitted. ‘How do I know Lucien won’t feel shackled to me?’

‘How do you know he doesn’t feel like you’re shackled to him?’ Jurian countered, pointing at her with his meat cleaver. ‘Lend an ear to his story. Least loved son of a horrible man. Ex-love put down by his family. Three brothers hunt him down like an animal. He gets his eye carved out by a piece of shit called Amarantha. His friends are hunted down one-by-one at the hands of mortals until he’s left only with Tamlin – shit company for anyone. He watches a poor, innocent woman thrown into the Cauldron-’

‘-Didn’t you have a part in that?’

‘Irrelevant,’ he said, waving his hand dismissively. ‘She’s his mate and he thinks she’ll hate him forever. He loses his home and has to seek refuge in the Night Court because he’s got nowhere else to go. He doesn’t think he can offer you anything. He’s dead scared you’ll come to that realisation and leave.’

Nesta was flummoxed by the sudden spilling of Lucien’s tale. She couldn’t bear her heart that way to Jurian and say that Lucien was more than she ever could have hoped for. That being his mate was not a curse. It was the bond itself she resisted because a cruel doubt lingered in her mind that the only reason Lucien had any time for her, when everybody else had abandoned her, was due to the bond. If that tether was not there, he would not want her.

‘He is a good man.’

‘Male,’ Jurian corrected. ‘I’m a man. A good man. A very good man.’

‘And terribly modest.’

Jurian swept his head down into a bow. ‘’Tis but a curse, my fair lady.’

Nesta decided to be daring. Her heart leapt a wild song as she settled into the centre of Lucien’s bed in the slinkiest nightgown she owned. As a mortal, it would only be acceptable for her wedding night, but such things were unimportant to the fae. The tiny straps could barely contain her assets. She tried to calm her nervous breathing; each inhale made her breasts swell and push against the dip of the dress. It was cream and made of silk, a decadent purchase which she’d never had a use for – until now.

The candles had burnt low in their holders by the time she heard the front door scrape open. Her carefully managed pulse raced once she heard Lucien’s deep voice echo up the stairs. She gripped her book to her chest, breathing slowly. It was too late to back out now – Lucien would see her darting across the landing like a new-born fawn in her escape to her own room. No, she told herself firmly. She wanted this. She wanted him.

Of course, Lucien spent time with his friends, oblivious to the fact Nesta lay in his bed waiting for him. She felt like a spider in a web, waiting to ensnare her prey. A cold thought shot through her that maybe he’d turn her out of his room. Maybe he’d laugh at her attempts at seduction.

Eventually, Nesta made out the precise steps of his feet up the stairs. Her breath caught as she heard him knock lightly on her own door despite the late hour. It was a balm that soothed, knowing he would still seek her out, that he’d gone to her room hoping to see her for a moment after days apart.

The slow, shuffle of steps came closer to the bedroom. The doorknob turned then light streamed in from the flames he held in his hands to light his path.

Air was sucked between his lips.

‘Nesta?’

Like a queen surveying her subjects, Nesta rigidly sat upright in the middle of the bed. It was not the decadent seduction she had planned. No witty reply could come to her tongue. Not with the way Lucien was staring at her, eyes blown wide with desire.

‘That’s me,’ she said, cringing inwardly at the brittle tone to her voice.

Lucien let the flames extinguish in his palm. His gaze was almost as powerful as a touch, roaming over her bare skin, up her neck, caressing her face.

‘You’re in my bed.’

‘Oh.’ Scrambling for anything to say so she wouldn’t seem so inept, she added, ‘I thought it was Jurian’s.’

Lucien’s brows rose. An incredulous look seized him. Nesta covered her face with her hands, heat surging to her cheeks. ‘Why did I say that? What is wrong with me?’

Then, thankfully, a rich laugh snapped the tension. She felt Lucien’s weight come down on the edge of the mattress. His hair shone in the candlelight as his warm hands prised her own away from her face. ‘When you are in my bed,’ he murmured, tracing a finger across her bottom lip. ‘I never ever want to hear another man’s name spill from your lips.’

Soft lips pressed to hers. It wasn’t demanding, only giving. Lucien gave and he gave. It had been silly to be so nervous when moments in his presence made Nesta breathe with relief. The tautness had gone from her body as he kissed her deeper.

She had missed him terribly. Missed the sparks that danced between their bodies when they were close; two flames catching.

‘Where have you been?’

‘Later,’ he said, prising apart her lips to sweep his tongue across her own.

He was a fire she could not pull her attention from. With every kiss, she wanted more from him. He was her mate. Hers. Someone to call her own, to always be at her side.

A hand trailed lazily up her thigh, the thumb driving in small circles on the sensitive skin. All the while, Lucien’s mouth pressed against her throat, down her collar bones to the swell of her breasts. A breathy moan escaped her as a hand dragged the thin straps of her night gown down over her shoulders.

The traces of the polished manners Nesta had grown accustomed to had been stolen by a charming rogue whose eyes devoured her breasts. Lucien stared at her like a man starved.

She let him lead. Let him push her down onto the pillows. Felt the satisfying weight of his body move on top of hers. And he kissed and he kissed. His lips covered her breasts in tiny, fluttering kisses. His hands caressed and squeezed. Nesta’s head tipped back as his mouth found her nipple, as his tongue flicked the peak.

‘You’re so beautiful,’ he murmured, moving back to her neck, trailing his lips up the hammering pulse and along her jaw.

A finger trailed down her body, over her night gown, lingering to allow Nesta to stop him. She did not want this to stop. She never wanted to stop feeling him.

A hand pushed her legs open, kissing her as he did. A short gasp came from her as Lucien’s fingertips stroked between her legs, feeling the wetness gathering there. His fingers stilled.

‘No underwear?’ Lucien whispered in her ear.

The corners of her mouth tipped upwards as she parroted his words back to him. She had come to his room with a purpose.

His fingers teased her, running up and down the skin, never applying pressure. She squirmed beneath him, trying to force him into action.

‘Tell me what you want, Nesta.’

She bucked again beneath him, driving her hips upwards to gain friction against his knuckles. ‘I want you. I want you.’

***

Lucien’s restraint was hanging by a thread. This female had never been touched before. He had to go slow. Go gently. Even if all he wanted was to bury himself deep inside of her. That bond was desperate to feel her. Desperate to claim her.

He spread his hands on her thighs, widening them for him as his tongue traced upwards to the hooded bundle of nerves at the top.

‘Tell me to stop. Tell me you don’t want this.’

Nesta shook her head, her own fingers gripped at her hair. ‘Don’t you dare stop.’

His tongue drove inside of her, pushing into her core. Her taste was divine. Every little cry, every breathless moan his fingertips and tongue elicited from Nesta, made him frenzied. He settled a finger at her entrance, teasing slightly, testing if she was willing.

‘Yes,’ she breathed. ‘I want it.’

He reached for her hand and laced his fingers with hers. His tongue remained circling the apex of her thighs as a finger pressed into her core. He moved slowly, letting her adjust to the pressure. A quiet noise of satisfaction slipped from Nesta’s lips as he massaged her core.

When her breathing came heavier, Lucien drove his tongue faster, even if his jaw was cramping. Nesta deserved this moment – and he deserved her coming on his tongue.

As her back arched, displaying her breasts like the masterpiece they were, he felt her clench around his finger, fully in the throes of euphoria.

Nesta collapsed, breathing deeply, her eyes closed with exertion. Lucien drew the blankets around her waist and carefully tugged her night gown back over her body.

‘That was so beautiful,’ he said, a smile stretching across his face.

Nesta laughed once. ‘That’s not fair. I came here to seduce you. You succeeded, not me.’

‘Seduce me? Why?’

She propped herself up on her elbows, a dusting of pink across her cheekbones. ‘I wanted to thank you for everything you do for me. I have no money or any other means to do it.’

‘So sexual favours is your currency?’

‘You make it sound so tawdry,’ she grumbled, aiming to rise from the bed, but Lucien prevented her escape.

‘It’s my favourite currency,’ he grinned. ‘But I don’t want you to feel as if you owe me something. I’m not rushing you or pressuring you to give anything to me. You’re here because I lo-.’ He stopped himself. ‘Because you deserve to be safe and happy.’

Nesta’s eyes had widened, two swirling irises of quicksilver, knowing exactly what word he’d silenced. He loved her, this fiery female. And admitting that to her, so soon, might have her scrambling to pack and flee.

Her lips opened for a brief moment then snapped shut again. It was easy to forget that this young female had lost so much; that she’d fought in a war and saved all of Prythian. She was still shy and hid it with her rigid defences. Lucien knew that if he spilt his heart, it would be met with a wall of steel.

‘What are you thinking?’ She whispered, touching his cheek lightly. ‘Your face has gone distant. Have I done something wrong? I shouldn’t have come here tonight. I’m sorry.’

Lucien held her there. A queen who deserved a crown.

‘You deserve so much more than this life. I can offer you nothing.’

'That's not true.'

‘A life of danger in the mortal land in a crumbling manor with an exile. You want this?’ He gestured to his mauled face. Tamlin had vomited when he’d seen it. It had taken Lucien a week before he’d even been able to face his reflection. It drew attention still, after all those long years. People still pointed, whispered behind their hand about his scar.

Nesta’s fingers went to his scar, brushing through the smooth seam of it. She hovered over the lip in his eye socket, feeling the dent in the bone where even Amarantha’s claw had been able to scratch. When all the dressings had been removed, it ached to even blink. The delicate muscles of his eyelid had been torn to ribbons. Servants had gaped at him. Children had cried at the sight of him. He’d seen his mother once – years and years later – and her gasp had ripped a hole in his chest. Even his father had been aghast by the wound. Nesta might have hid her insecurities behind insults and coldness, but Lucien shrouded his own amongst jokes and teasing.

‘I cannot give you safety. I cannot give you a steady life.’

Nesta pressed kisses along the length of his scarred face, her lips gentle. ‘I want you. Whatever parts you can give me.’

‘You have all of me.’

He brought the soft skin of her knuckles to his mouth, kissing each one slowly. ‘You will take a scarred exile?’

‘I will take a male brave enough to speak against a tyrant for the people he loves.’

'The scarred exile and the Cauldron-Made kingslayer. I think they will write stories about us.'

#nesta archeron #lucien vanserra #lucien x nesta #steel & flame #i find it really hard to write smut #even more so when nesta is a virgin #those days are long gone for me lmao i dont remember it

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

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Imagine if Meng Shi begged and bargained and collected favors till she was able to send her A-Yao to education with the Lan Sect, perhaps even become a cultivator with them. Would he take that change? Would he become a rogue cultivator? Would the strict rules help curb his inner muderimpuls or enrage him or teach him to hide better?

A Good Fit - ao3

“The…Lan sect?” Meng Yao said doubtfully. “Are you sure?”

“I am sure,” his mother said, her mouth tight. She looked upset, the way she always did these days when he referenced, intentionally or otherwise, the original plan that she had had to send him to join his father, sect leader of Lanling Jin. She’d raised Meng Yao on a steady diet of stories of what his life would be like when his father finally took him back the way he’d promised her he would, stories that had filled his days and nights for years and years and years, and then just last year she’d suddenly stopped talking about it entirely. It was as if the person who’d told those stories had nothing to do with her.

Meng Yao didn’t know what had happened, but he assumed it must have been pretty bad.

“It'll be a good fit,” she added.

“Then I’ll go to the Lan sect,” he said, and pretended not see the way his mother relaxed a little, relieved that he wasn’t asking too many questions. “I’ve heard they are gentlemen there, righteous but gentle; it will be the best match for my personality, I’m sure.”

A lie, of course. ‘Gentlemen’ were just as likely to come to the brothel as brutes, and they were all the same once they had a cup of wine and a beauty in their arms – Meng Yao tried not to have any illusions.

“Can we afford it?” he asked instead, since that was something he was sure his mother would have thought of, would have expected him to ask. “Gusu is so far away…”

“I have obtained a letter from the local sect recommending you to their sect leader, Lan Qiren,” she said. “He’s the one that teaches the classes – the one that sent out the summons asking the subsidiary sects to look for individuals with raw talent to join his classes and offering them an extra seat for their sects for each nameless orphan they find that lives up to Lan sect standards. Only the Heavens know why he’s doing something like that…I assume they’re trying to expand.”

That seemed like the most reasonable explanation. Meng Yao nodded. “So I’ll be traveling with the local sect?”

“That’s right,” his mother said, and raised her chin a little. “At least this much, your mother was able to do for you.”

She’d begged and bargained and traded favors for it, then, Meng Yao thought, and yet taking him along was to their own benefit: if they were looking for inherited cultivation talent sufficient for the Lan sect, then the bastard son of another Great Sect leader would be a better bet than some random nobody. She’d probably humiliated herself for nothing.

“Will you come with me?” he asked, more concerned with that – it was too easy for women of ill repute to disappear into the depths of the city if they didn’t have someone to watch out for them.

Even someone as young as he was. He wished he was older.

“You can come back to visit me during the Spring Festival,” she said, which meant no. “I’ll be all right, A-Yao.”

Meng Yao wasn’t so sure.

Still, not having him around would at least remove a visible reminder of his mother’s age – she’d been kicked out of the better brothels because of him, because no one wanted a woman who was a mother. Leaving would at least do that for her.

“I’ll write,” he finally said. “I’ll write as often as they let me.”

“And I’ll write back,” she promised him, kissing his cheek. “I promise.”

With that, Meng Yao supposed he had to be satisfied.

The Lan sect was both exactly like what Meng Yao expected and absolutely nothing at all like anything he could have dreamt.

For the first, his cynicism was almost immediately confirmed: the boys raised there were snobby as anything, looking down at the rest of them as little better than barbarians, and many of the adults were the same way. It was clear that this whole business of recruiting talented nobodies was a project of the sect leader’s – the interim sect leader, no less, not even the real thing – and nobody else’s; they were only just barely going along with it. Adding to that the fact that there were dozens if not hundreds of rules, and Meng Yao could glumly foresee a future of having his lack of knowledge held over his head as a fault, even with his marvelous memory to act as his backing.

For the second…

Well, there was Lan Xichen, who was – as unbelievable as it seemed – to actually embody all those things that people said about gentlemen, all kindness and gentleness and fierce upright pride, except only for real. There was Lan Wangji, who was basically perfect in every way and kinder than he gave the impression he was, willing to help tutor anyone who asked if only they dared disturb his solitude long enough to do so. There was the boy Meng Yao shared a room with, Su She, who’d punched the boy from the Yunping cultivator clan in the mouth for calling Meng Yao a son of a whore and pretended it was because they weren’t allowed to talk about that sort of thing, when actually it’d been because he hadn’t wanted rumors to get around that might make Meng Yao’s life harder in the future.

There was Lan Qiren, who was strict and a little boring but fair, painfully fair, handing out punishments with an equitable hand no matter that it meant that he was punishing the locals as often if not more often. It’d been his idea to bring people like Meng Yao into the Lan sect, and defending the idea was the only time he truly seemed moved to passion. Now that they’d passed the initial examination and been judged to match Lan sect standards, Lan Qiren announced, as far as he was concerned, they were Lan sect just as if they were born there, as if they’d been children of his own.

And he even seemed to really believe it, too.

Today, Meng Yao’s head was still warm from when the stern Teacher Lan had put his hand there, gentle and approving, and his ears still burning from the murmured “Well done, Meng Yao, as expected.”

“I think I would kill someone for him,” Meng Yao said dreamily to Su She, who snorted.

“You’ve got such father issues,” he said disdainfully, as if he didn’t have entire family issues. That was just Su She’s way, though – he bitched and moaned and complained without end, and he’d probably kill someone for Meng Yao if Meng Yao so much as hinted it was something he’d want. They’d made friends for a reason. “You know the bit about the poor kids being his own children is a lie, right?”

“I know which sect’s leader is my father, thanks,” Meng Yao said, rolling his eyes. “I’m well aware it’s not Teacher Lan. Like he’d ever have kids of his own, anyway.”

“That’d require noticing when someone’s flirting with him,” Su She agreed, all solemn for just a moment, and then he dissolved into sniggering giggles. Meng Yao couldn’t blame him: it was, in fact, extremely funny when women (and sometimes men) tried to flirt with Teacher Lan, mostly because of the way that he very genuinely and completely missed that that was what was happening each and every time.

“Laugh all you like,” Meng Yao said peaceably. “You’d kill for him, too.”

“Probably,” Su She agreed. “But only because of you.”

That was fair enough. After getting the lay of the land, Meng Yao had arranged for them to ‘accidentally’ be overheard by Teacher Lan while talking about the misconduct of one of the teachers who was the most biased against guest disciples, one of the ones that had been harassing Su She in particular for over a year before Meng Yao had arrived, and despite Su She’s initial nervousness about the plan, it had all gone splendidly. Sure, they’d been punished to do five copies of a treatise on upright conduct because they’d breached Talking behind the backs of others is prohibited, but the teacher in question had been sentenced to two hundred strikes with the discipline rod for abusing his position and three months of enforced seclusion to contemplate his misbehavior, and then, Teacher Lan had said, his expression dark and threatening, they could discuss what role would be the best fit in the future.

The other teachers had taken notice and shaped up very quickly, after that.

Comparatively, those five copies made in the nice cool Library Pavilion instead of having to do chores on the hottest days of summer? Practically a pat on the back for bringing it to his attention.

Su She would never have dared to raise anything if it was just him, Meng Yao thought; he had a strange fear of authority figures that combined envy and misery in an explosive combination – he would have just suffered and suffered and suffered until he’d been pushed too far and then it would have all burst out at once. He wasn’t like Meng Yao, who was unwilling to keep to his “proper” place and was more than willing to use his greater-than-average share of brains to get what he wanted, no matter what rules he broke in the process. He was the sort of person who was willing to do whatever it took to obtain his desires – no matter what it took.

Well, maybe not no matter what. He wouldn’t want to disappoint Lan Qiren too much.

(Okay, so maybe Su She was right and he had some unresolved father issues. So what if he did? Whose business was it but his?)

It’d taken Meng Yao a while to fully adjust to the Cloud Recesses.

Some parts he’d figured out right away – the way they all flattered themselves as gentlemen even if they were actually little more than hypocrites (Teacher Lan and his personally taught nephews exempted, of course), which of course meant that Meng Yao’s ability to act pitiful at the drop of a hat and cleverly turn black into white made him a teacher’s pet at once. The vegetarian meals were easy enough to adapt to, given that his mother hadn’t had the money for meat all that often, and the training and cultivation and all that wasn’t any challenge for his excellent powers of retention – he had ambitions of becoming one of Teacher Lan’s aides one day, and worked assiduously towards that goal. Even waking and sleeping early, which was practically the opposite of his schedule at home, was something he could adjust to, given time and incentive.

It was his mentality that took some time to adjust.

Meng Yao had perhaps grown up with too many of his mother’s stories, painting an image of a matchless paradise – at the start, he looked at everything around him, serene and elegant but not quite as rich and shining and thought that it would do, for now. When he’d first arrived, he had had every intention of making a good reputation for himself and using that reputation to get his real father’s attention – he’d liked Teacher Lan from the beginning, despite his best attempts to not let his heart be swayed, but he’d reasoned that if a teacher was like this, then a blood-related father would be even better.

And so, for the first half-year, he’d treated his time at the Cloud Recesses…not lightly, no. He was extremely serious about making sure to get the maximum benefit he could. And yet, at the same time, he still was not really committing himself to the place.

This wasn’t where he was going to live his whole life, he reasoned; it was just a stepping stone to a better future. That meant he would exert himself to point out things that made him look good, to eliminate obstacles in his path, to win himself allies, but not bother with those longer-term problems, the ones that really ought to be fixed but which would take a great deal of effort with little reward other than annoying people.

His feeling of superiority and emotional distance lasted right up until the first discussion conference.

From a distance, Jin Guangshan was everything Meng Yao could have imagined – perhaps a little too similar to the clients that his mother often saw, a little dissolute to pull off the air of a refined scholar he affected, but wearing more gold than Meng Yao had ever seen in his life, with a retinue of servants that dwarfed the other sect’s. Each of those servants were dressed more finely than even main clan cultivators in some of the smaller sects, and though Meng Yao’s Lan sect guest disciple clothing was of such quality that he didn’t need to fear their disdain, he couldn’t help but be secretly impressed.

He'd exerted himself more than usual to trade away all of his chores and duties, freeing himself up to take on patrol duty near the Jin sect. He’d perhaps daydreamed about some sort of encounter – nothing active on his part, of course, but he couldn’t quite resist playing through some fantasy of catching someone’s eye by chance, getting called over, a “You have a familiar set to your chin, who’s your father?”, a shy halting admission, recognition, a joyous reunion…

Instead, his father spent the entire night getting drunk and cursing the Lan sect’s hospitality for not providing him with girls to go with his liquor, calling Lan Qiren a miserable prude with a stick up his ass right in front of the Lan sect disciples that clenched their fists in barely concealed rage. He’d seen Meng Yao all right, ordered him to come forward, but it’d only been to mock him in front of all of his servants – and not even for being his bastard son, no, that would involve bothering to pick him out from the crowd or to ask who he was. No, he’d mocked him simply for being one of the poor disciples that Lan Qiren had taken in, all because his accent was marked with the distinct tones of Yunping rather than the sweetness of Gusu.

“Tell me, boy,” he said, breathing fumes into Meng Yao’s face and making him feel suddenly as if he’d never left the brothel – that the Cloud Recesses had all been a vague dream, and now he’d woken up and lost it all. “How does that old fart Qiren expect you to pay him back for all he’s done for you? I heard the Lan sect includes a pretty face as one of its standard requirements…”

Meng Yao put his gaze above his father’s head and pretended to be deaf.

“It seems like rather a lot of effort,” one of his father’s attendants remarked. “Even if Second Master Lan wanted a boy to warm his bed, couldn’t he just buy one like any normal person?”

“Bah, boys,” his father said, and leaned back, waving his hands in dismissal. “Why would anyone bother with a boy when you could have a soft woman instead? Just as long as they’re stupid enough – you know, there’s nothing worse than a woman who’s talented and knows it, too smart, always trying to get above their station…”

“You’re thinking about that whore in Yunping again, aren’t you? The one that interrupted your dinner and made a scene, claiming you’d promised to take in the son she bore you?” the attendant said, laughing. “I told you, you should’ve just killed her for her impudence rather than just having her beaten and thrown out. That way the matter wouldn’t still be bothering you…”

“Go away, boy,” another servant said to Meng Yao, who was frozen stiff in belated terror, nausea churning in his stomach as he realized his mother could’ve gone out one day and never come back, and he would never have known why – or maybe it was that he’d been spending his considerable time and brain on pleasing someone who would have done that, who nearly had done that. “Your accent’s brought back bad memories, don’t you see?”

Meng Yao left.

No, to be more blunt: he fled. He ran away, hot tears filling his eyes until he couldn’t see – belly full of regret and disappointment, crushed dreams feeling like broken shards of glass in his mouth and throat.

He tried to tell himself that it was better to find out now, when they were still distant, before he'd sold his soul for the futile chance to get that horrible man's affection, but he couldn't quite throw off the shame of knowing that if he hadn't heard such a thing up front, he probably would have done that. Would have humiliated himself like that, and for what? A man who regretted not murdering his mother?

He ran right into Lan Wangji, who was also on patrol.

Lan Wangji took one look at him and grabbed his wrist, dragging him away from the main pathway and all the way to his uncle’s rooms.

Lan Qiren was still awake despite the late hour, writing something at his desk, but he set aside his brush at once. “What’s going on?” he asked, frowning. “Wangji – Meng Yao – one of you report.”

“Meng Yao was on patrol by the Jin sect,” Lan Wangji explained as Meng Yao furiously tried to dash away his tears using his sleeve.

“Who permitted that? First year disciples aren’t permitted to patrol during discussion conferences,” Lan Qiren asked, his frown deepening. “It wouldn’t be proper – ah, but no, I recall now. I suppose it was inevitable. Wangji, well done, and thank you. You are dismissed.”

After Lan Wangji left, he turned his eyes on Meng Yao.

“You volunteered, didn’t you?” he asked.

Meng Yao felt his back go cold: Lan Qiren knew, then. It had never been said out loud by anyone as far as he knew, and yet it was clear that Lan Qiren knew who his father was – and probably his mother, too.

He knew that Meng Yao was – that he wasn’t anything more than –

“You are one of my most promising disciples, Meng Yao,” Lan Qiren told him, and poured him a cup of tea from his own pot, pressing it into his hands. It was finer tea than Meng Yao had ever had in his life, full of smoke and flavor. “The rules say Be loyal and filial, but they also praise reciprocity. You have not been recognized, and have not received your forefathers’ grace. You can fulfill your obligations to chivalry through your respect for the parent that raised you.”

Meng Yao stared down at the teacup. Lan Qiren had completely misunderstood the nature of Meng Yao’s concern – he was disappointed in what his father was, not worried about not living up to his obligations of being a filial child. And yet it was a little nice to hear that as far as Lan Qiren was concerned, the rules said that he could tell his father go hang for all he cared…

And that he ought to honor his mother, which was something no one who knew her had ever said to him.

“Even if she –” His voice stuttered. “Even if she’s a…”

He couldn’t say the word.

“Appreciate the good people is not qualified by class or profession,” Lan Qiren said, and his monotone voice was blissfully without emotion, as if this were just another lesson in class, and not the deepest hurt of Meng Yao’s life. “I have never met your mother, Meng Yao, but you are a good child – diligent, organized, sincere, with good judgment, and you clearly adore her. That tells me everything I need to know.”

Meng Yao burst into tears.

Meng Yao liked Lan Xichen a lot, but he also had to admit that sometimes, the older boy was, well…

“Dumb as a pile of rocks,” Su She announced.

“Do not criticize other people,” Meng Yao said piously, but then chuckled, shaking his head. “Say, rather, that he’s naïve and sheltered, and overly inclined to believe the best in people.”

“Like I said: dumb as rocks. How many times is going to get himself swindled into being someone’s sword or shield before he figures out that the problem is him?”

“Some people don’t have the capacity to understand the depths of humanity’s foulness –”

“Yeah, dumb ones.”

“Su She, please.” Su She held up his hands in surrendered. “At any rate, if Lan-gongzi is going to keep falling for people’s tricks, it’s beholden on us to help protect him.”

“You just don’t want Teacher Lan to be sad about something serious happening to his nephew,” Su She said knowingly, but he was already nodding. “All right, what are we going to do about it? He outranks us. We can’t exactly tell him to his face that he’s being…”

He paused.

Dumb as rocks went unsaid, but then, it didn’t need to be said out loud for the meaning to be clear.

Meng Yao sighed.

“You can only trick someone so many times,” he said. “If we want to keep him from getting tricked by other people, then we have to trick him first. And better.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lan-gongzi likes to save people,” Meng Yao explained. “He really sees himself as a chivalrous gentleman – he puts chivalry first, even though Teacher Lan says Learning comes first. That’s why he always sides with whoever he perceives to be the underdog in a given situation, no matter how wrong that impression is. That’s how most of the people who’ve been tricking him have gone for it: playing the victim, appealing to his sense of righteousness, pulling the curtains over his eyes to obscure what’s actually happening.”

“Okay. So?”

“So, we’ve both got miserable backstories – you being taken from your family at a young age and then bullied, me with my mother and, even worse, father. If we get him on our side, early on, he’ll side with us over anyone else – that way we can keep him from getting roped into other people’s private grudges.”

Su She frowned. “That seems a little manipulative.”

“It’s for his own good, and that’s what’s important,” Meng Yao said, and smiled faintly. “Wouldn’t you agree, Lan-er-gongzi?”

Su She jumped, turning around just in time to see Lan Wangji, who had been standing in the shadow of a nearby tree, step out.

He had a serious expression, as always, but a thoughtful one.

Meng Yao waited patiently.

“You cannot take advantage,” Lan Wangji finally said, and Meng Yao knew he’d won the most important ally in the battle to save Lan Xichen from himself. “That would change it from a virtuous act to a selfish one.”

“Like we need anything from him,” Su She said haughtily. “Maintain your own discipline.”

“Arrogance is forbidden.”

“It’s not arrogance if it’s justified! It’s just self-confidence!”

“Do not argue with family,” Meng Yao quoted, and was pleased to see both of them drop it at once. “Listen, we all share the same goal, and we have to start somewhere, don’t we? We’re stronger together than apart. Together, we can do anything, even protect Lan-gongzi.”

That and more, he thought as the other boys nodded, following his lead. Lan Xichen is just the start.

“The Wen sect will make trouble sooner rather than later,” Meng Yao said thoughtfully, one day. His friends turned to look at him. “Yes, I’m serious.”

Lan Wangji nodded, serious as always, but Su She scoffed.

“You can’t even convince that Wei Wuxian boy to leave poor Lan-er-gongzi alone,” he said snidely. “How exactly are you expecting to bring down the Wen sect?”

“I don’t convince Wei Wuxian to leave Lan-er-gongzi alone because Lan-er-gongzi doesn’t want to be left alone,” Meng Yao said. “Obviously. Isn’t that right?”

“You should call me by name,” Lan Wangji said, which wasn’t answering the question and definitely wasn’t denying anything. “You were saying, about the Wen sect?”

Meng Yao smiled.

“What brings one of Teacher Lan’s most promising disciples to the Unclean Realm?” Nie Mingjue said, peering at him thoughtfully. “You’re at the wrong time to be one of the usual messengers.”

Meng Yao smiled at him.

“I think you’ll find that we have similar goals, Sect Leader Nie,” he said. “When it comes to making sure that certain people in our lives don’t get hurt by the bad decisions of others, I mean. In your case, it’s your younger brother, who’s a friend of mine –”

Friend, source of information, it was all about the same thing in the end. Meng Yao didn’t have real friends outside the Lan sect, but he’d been very careful to cultivate good relationships with all his most important peers.

“- and for me, well. A teacher for day, a father for a lifetime. I’m sure Sect Leader Nie can understand the importance of protecting one’s father – right?”

“You don’t need to use any sophistry on me,” Nie Mingjue said, rolling his eyes. “If you have an idea on what we can do to stop the Wen sect before they go and burn someone’s house down, I’m all ears.”

By chance, Meng Yao did.

It was a good plan, too, daring and brave in equal measure. If it worked the way he hoped it would, he’d win enough fame to get Jin Guangshan to beg for him to join the Jin sect – not that he would, of course.

Meng Yao knew what he wanted, and he knew how he was going to get it, too.

“This is a lovely house, A-Yao,” Meng Shi said, running her hand along one of the soft tapestries on the wall. “Truly lovely. Whoever you rented it from has good taste.”

Meng Yao bowed. “Thank you for the compliment, Mother. I put a lot of thought into it.”

“You own it?” she asked, surprised. “But don’t you live up the mountain, with the sect?”

“I do. This is for you.”

“For – me? A-Yao! This is too much – how much must it have cost–”

“I saved the Lan sect’s core texts from being destroyed,” Meng Yao said. “I’m an inner sect disciple now – I could ask for a dozen houses like this, and they’d grant them to me without blinking twice. Teacher Lan would insist on it.”

“Teacher Lan,” his mother murmured. “That’s the one you’ve taken to treating as your own father, isn’t it? You’ve spoken so much of him, in your letters…”

“There’s no need to scheme,” he told her. “He wouldn’t notice your flirtations, anyway.”

His mother arched her eyebrows at him.

“He’s really oblivious.”

“Still…”

“Really no need,” Meng Yao said, and couldn’t help but smile at the memory of Lan Qiren pulling him into a hug when he realized that the books – and Lan Xichen – were all safe from the Wen sect’s attempt to burn down the Cloud Recesses, and, later, again, that Wen Ruohan was dead. He may have deliberately schemed for that second hug, and he might or might not have plans for more. “He already takes me as a son.”

His mother relaxed.

“Good,” she said, and smiled herself. “So, A-Yao, was I right, all those years ago? Was the Lan sect a good fit for you?”

“Yes, Mother,” Meng Yao said. “Yes, it was.”

#mdzs #meng yao #jin guangyao #lan qiren #su she #lan wangji #my fic #my fics #a good fit

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arianaagreyy · 3 years

Text

I Love You || James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader

Words: 2096 words

Warning: Fluff, Insecurity, Emotional talk, Panic attack

___________________________________________________________

Y/N was the talk of Hogwarts. Intelligent, Sarcastic, Funny, Athletic but most of all, beautiful inside and out. The kindest soul to walk the grounds of Hogwarts. Kind to the Slytherins that bullied her, kind to the children who adored her.

It was no secret that James Potter was absolutely head over heels in love with his amazing girlfriend. Both of them were the ideal couple. Quidditch players, smart students, attractive looks. Girls envied Y/N whereas boys envied James and he liked showing you off as well.

But despite being loved by boys and girls alike, Y/N always had trouble fitting in. The day she transferred from Durmstrang to Hogwarts, she was terrified of how she'll fit in. She was on the verge of a panic attack when a red-head girl had so kindly offered her a hand to show around the castle, thus starting the friendship between Lily Evans and Y/N Y/L/N.

Now, with her friends, Y/N, Lily, Marlene and Dorcas entered the Potions classroom, tired because of laughing so hard from all the way from the Gryffindor dormitory to the Dungeons.

"Welcome ladies. So very kind of you to grace us with your presence", Professor Slughorn's voice seized their noise of laughter. Slughorn had a very sour expression on his face whereas two rows away, James Potter was looking at his girlfriend in awe.

The way her deep blue eyes were glistening in the light and shiny from laughing so hard, the way her lips formed the most beautiful smile James had ever seen in his life, the way her Y/H/C hair framed her perfectly carved face. He was so in love with her.

His thoughts were interrupted by a paper plane hitting the back of his head and falling on the table. He lifted the paper to open it.

Whipped. -Signed Moony, Padfoot and Wormtail.

He turned back to see the three boys trying to muffle the sound of their laughter by putting their hands on their mouths. James rolled his eyes and mouthed "Fuck off".

"We're sorry Professor. It won't happen again", her beautiful voice spoke. James looked around the class to see the boys looking at her with such admiration, It made him want to hex them all into the next century. Only he could see his Y/N with those eyes.

At the same time, James looked back at her just to see she was looking back at him with a smile so warm, it almost melted him.

"It shouldn't happen again. Now get inside. We already lost a lot of time", Slughorn rushed the girls into the class. All of them took their places next to their respective partners, Y/N being paired with Lucius Malfoy whereas James was stuck with Snape who, once in a while looked at him, rolled his eyes and went back to doing what he previously was.

James glanced over Y/N's direction to see Lucius Malfoy laughing silently on something Y/N said, a smile on her face as well. She was too good to people, even if they were undeserving of her kindness.

As time went by, James started getting more aware of the laughing noises coming from where his girlfriend was sitting. There were many thoughts running through his mind.

What if she thinks I'm not good enough.

What if she's not happy with me.

They both look so happy.

She has the ability to see the goodness in even the darkest of souls.

What if I'm not enough for her.

Consumed by his thoughts, he was at the verge of a panic attack when Professor Slughorn announced that the class was dismissed. James quickly picked up his books in one hand, slung his bag over his shoulder and bolted out of the classroom, not even sparing a glance towards Y/N, who was looking at James with concerned eyes.

Y/N sensed something was wrong so she very politely excused herself from Lucius, packed her stuff and ran off to the direction James did.

They had been together for nearly a year now but neither of them had told the other that they were completely and utterly in love with them. Y/N decided to tell him today. Now.

She had been building up her confidence to say this to him for a while now and that's what she was discussing with the girls earlier in the day until Marlene had changed the topic into something too hilarious.

She climbed the stairs that led to the Gryffindor Common Room, hoping she would find James there. She entered the Common Room to hear the sound of heavy breathing alongside muffled sobs coming from the boys' dormitory.

A lump formed in her throat as she slowly made her way towards the source of the sound. She opened the Marauders' room to find James sitting in a corner of the room with his knees scrunched up to his stomach, elbows on his knees and hands in his hair. He was shaking violently from the pressure of his sobs.

Y/N stood there trying to absorb the situation. Her strong, smart, funny boyfriend was sitting in a secluded corner of a room crying because of God knows what.

She slowly took steps towards him and fell on her knees in front of him. He somehow felt her presence as he stopped shaking and tried wiping away his tears but Y/N stopped his hand from reaching his face.

"You should be in class Y/N", he said, his voice raspy from crying so badly. Y/N's heart broke at the sight in front of her. He didn't lift up his head as he talked to her.

"And you should be dropping me to class", she spoke in a calming voice, trying to soothe him. Whenever she talked in this manner, James' nerves always calmed down but somehow this time, they only grew. His breathing started getting heavy again but he refused to look in her direction.

He knew he was over-thinking. He also talked to girls but Y/N never reacted in this way whereas when Y/N talked to any guy, he would start feeling this indescribable feeling to break that guy's face.

Y/N detected his heavy breathing and placed her hand on his bicep. James felt her soothing touch and his breathing returned to normal. Y/N then placed her hand on his already messy hair and started massaging his head, something she knew James liked.

He looked up to see her eyes full of concern and tears at the brims of them. As soon as Y/N looked into his eyes, a tear escaped her eye. His hazel eyes didn't have that mischievous glint in them; they had a broken look in them, like he lost something very dear to him.

James' hand was quick to wipe away the tear that left Y/N's eye. She looked so concerned for him. Just for him.

"James what's wrong?" she asked, her voice so calm, so enchanting.

"Is everything ok? Are Mia and Monty ok? Did something happened to Sirius? Are you hurt?" she bombarded him with concerning questions.

He shook his head as an indication that nothing of that sort happened. Her eyebrows furrowed as she spoke in a low voice:

"Did I do something wrong? I messed up. Didn't I?"

James quickly stood up on his feet, ears ringing from anger. How could she think that she did something to sadden him. She's perfect in every way. A perfect friend, a perfect girlfriend, a perfect daughter.

Y/N also stood up quickly, her hand falling from James' head.

"HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT?" he practically screamed at her.

"HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT YOU DID SOMETHING THAT COULD EVER SADDEN ME?"

By now he had lost all his senses. Nothing mattered more to him that his Y/N. His.

"You're the reason I smile everyday. You are the reason I wake up everyday. Just to look at you. You bring joy in my life, happiness that I never knew existed. Everything you do is so bloody perfect. You are so perfect", he spoke in a hushed voice but loud enough for Y/N to hear.

"And I can't even begin to thank you for all that you've done to me, for me. But me? What did I do to you besides showing you public affection? I never talked to you in class. I didn't buy gifts for you. I didn't stand up for you in class. I don't deserve you", he spoke, his eyes no longer connected to Y/N's.

She looked at the boy standing in front of him. That confident, arrogant toe-rag who looked so vulnerable right now.

"I see how the other boys look at you. With such admiration in their eyes. Whenever I find them staring at you, it just makes me feel as if I'm not good enough for you. I'll never be able to-"

He was cut off by Y/N throwing a pillow at his face. He finally looked up to see her face stained with tears, similar as his. Her eyes weren't glistening with happiness, they were glistening with sadness. Sadness that he could think he's not good enough for her.

"WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?" It was her turn to scream now.

"WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME", she shouted, tears falling from her eyes.

James was staring at Y/N with wide eyes. She was such a calm-spoken person and hearing her shout was new. But some part of him calmed down hearing her defend him.

"James, none of those boys were there for me when I needed help, none of them comforted me after my nightmares, none of them helped me catch up to my studies, none of them defended me from bullies. It was you. It was you all along", she said in a calm voice yet tears were still silently flowing from her eyes.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me James Potter. I don't care how those boys look at me. I care about how YOU look at me. You make me strong Potter. You make me happy", she said with a smile. I teary smile made its way to James' face as well.

"And I have absolutely no idea why you're so insecure about yourself because-", she stopped and took a deep breath.

"Because I love you James Potter. And even if I have to remind you that, I'll do it every single day, I will. Because I'll go any lengths just to be with you", she ended with a sniff.

James stood frozen, staring at her. Looking into her eyes.

Love.

He saw love in her eyes. Love for him. Not Lucius, not anybody. Him.

Before he knew it, he was taking fast steps towards her and slammed his lips to hers. This felt right. It felt as though they were home. In each other's arms. A comfortable warmth spread through their bodies as they held each other close with an intention of never letting go. Y/N was his drug and he gladly surrendered to her.

They broke apart with a smile etched on both of their faces.

"I love you Y/N. I love you more than myself", he said, sincerity in his voice.

"I know. I'm just too irresistible", she said, flipping her hair off her shoulder and looking at James with a smile that he wished he he could see everyday.

James pulled her into a comfortable embrace. Her hands rested on his neck and his on her waist, pulling her close. He dug his face into the crook of her neck.

"I'm never letting you go Mrs. Potter", his voice came out muffled. She let out a small chuckle which made blood rise to James' cheeks.

Suddenly, she pulled apart and looked at him with a glint in her eyes that meant trouble.

"Did you get jealous because I was talking to Lucius earlier?", she asked with a raised eyebrow. James didn't reply, just looked down, his face getting redder. she let out a laugh.

"Oh my god. I absolutely have to tell Pads and Moony you got jealous of Lucius", she shouted as she darted towards the exit, looking at James one more time before winking at him and left.

Too surprised to do anything, he let out a laugh of his own. A laugh of happiness, a laugh of love.

#james potter x you #james potter x reader #marauders #harry potter #hogwarts #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #gryffindor #lucius malfoy x you #angst with a happy ending #hp text post #marauders x you #sirius orion black #marauders x y/n #lily evans #atyd marlene #x y/n

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mystic-shadows42 · 3 years

Text

Holding Out Hope

A/N: This was just a simple quick write so there are probably mistakes.

Pairing: Clark Kent x reader

Warnings: Language

Summary: Clark has a hard time trying to find his place in the world but when he takes a job he’s unlikely to stay in for long, there’s an unexpected person there that he can’t simply walk away from.

Joe.

That’s what he said his name was. When you first met him, you didn’t think it suited him. He was a tall dark-haired, muscular, blue-eyed man with a gentleness to him.

Right away he stood out.

Joe was brought onto the crew by your father, the captain. He was quiet but observant. He always listened and remembered things that other people would long forget about.

He wasn’t the type of man you’re used to seeing on your father’s crew. He was actually nice and not handsy like the others.

You met him on his first day and told him of the small shop you worked at and he made it a habit to go whenever he was back from his fishing trips.

During his visits, you’d both make small talk. He was private about his life but was definitely curious about yours. You wanted to respect his privacy so you told him the truth of yours.

You were the youngest child of four. All of them had left to start their own lives elsewhere but would call occasionally. The home life wasn’t too great. Your mother had left and your father was a drunk. He would only stop drinking when he had to work and needed more money for it.

There were times when you’d ramble on and sneak a look over at him to see he was hanging on to every word.

Occasionally, you’d treat him to lunch but even then you could tell he was still putting up a front as if he couldn’t simply relax. Sometimes he’d even leave abruptly after apologizing profusely.

It was understandable but after what seemed like the umpteenth time you started to think it was because of you. Perhaps you weren’t as good company as you thought.

Joe must’ve noticed your uncertainty because he would sometimes surprise you with gifts. Needless to say, it didn’t take much for you to fall hard for him.

There were obvious signs there for something to flourish between you both but he was always the one to pull away.

So when you were on your break outside the shop with him you asked him what you’ve been dying to know.

“So, I have to ask. Why have you stuck around doing this job? Most people leave after the first week.”

He looked away and smiled then looked back at you. At his expression, you nudged his arm playfully.

“I find that staying here a little while has its benefits.”

You gave him a look which he knew what you meant. He didn’t give you much to go off of.

“My dad doesn’t pay you enough to think like that.”

“It’s not always about the pay.” He threw you a look that simply melted your heart. “Would you believe me if I told you the best part of my day is coming into the shop and seeing you?”

You slightly tilted your head not expecting the deemed quiet man by the crew to actually say this to you. Joe was far too handsome to be into you. Just by looking at him, you knew he didn’t belong in a less than ideal place with nothing to offer him whatsoever.

“Well, I don’t actually believe you.”

He had a faint smile on his face. “Open your hand.”

You held out your hand and he took something out of his back pocket and placed it in your hand.

“A gift?”

He nodded and gestured for you to look at it. You opened the small bag pulling the strings apart to see pearls inside.

They were beautiful and bigger than any you’ve ever seen. You inspected them more closely.

“These are South Sea pearls. I only know because my father obsesses over finding some one day.” You looked up at him astonished. These pearls were worth a good amount of money. “There’s no possible way you found these fishing.”

He put his hands over yours covering the pearls.

“I’m going to be leaving soon. Use these to get out of here.”

Your heart sunk at the news of him leaving soon. He was the whole reason you got excited for the day and dressed up.

Just seeing him affected your whole day in a better way.

“I can’t. This is too big a gift to have.”

“They’re yours now.”

He said it so calmly as if obtaining them wasn’t a big deal. Even though you knew people would kill just to get their hands on them.

“How’d you get them?”

“I flew,” he said, a small smile gracing his face before he turned his back to you.

“Joe.”

Even as you said his name he didn’t react. He hardly ever responded to it. You always suspected he was hiding something. Nobody simply ignores their name when called.

“Wait!”

He turned and you ran to catch up to him.

“At least tell me your real name.”

He sighed and you knew then that he wouldn’t. It did hurt a little that after all these months of knowing him that he didn’t even trust you enough to know his name.

It made you sad that nothing significant ever blossomed between you both though you knew he could feel the connection too. You didn’t think it’d hurt this much to lose a person you hardly knew anything about.

He lowered his head when you started to drop yours in disappointment. He looked genuinely concerned. It was hard to determine if he would even miss you or even thought of you the way you did him.

“I promise you that one day when I’m not running anymore. When I find out who I truly am, then I’ll find you and tell you my name.”

You shook your head. “That’s impossible. How will you ever find me?”

“Don’t lose hope.”

He moved closer to you and leaned down a little to be leveled with you. Your lips parted and your heart started to race at how close he was. He had his eyes closed already so you closed yours as you moved forward.

You were finally going to kiss.

“Hey, dipshit! It’s time to go!”

You groaned and opened your eyes to see he already opened his and was watching you.

“I have to go.”

You reached out for his hand and saw him smile down at your joined hands. He gave yours a small squeeze in reassurance.

“Captains tired of waiting! Hurry it up!”

His hand slowly slipped from yours. He smiled sadly and turned his back to you as he began walking away.

****

In your time of finding a place, you were tracked down by a determined reporter named Lois Lane. Her presence took you by surprise especially when she shared her story with you.

He was going by the name Liam. She told you briefly of her findings and how he saved her life with his ‘abilities’ yet somehow you began to think over your encounters with him.

The constant short meet-ups with him weren’t excuses. He was actually going out and saving someone’s life.

It just all seemed fitting for him.

A savior.

Lois had questioned you explaining that his time fishing was the longest job he stuck with and she suspected it was because of you. She kept smiling at the stories you’d share of her with your encounters with him.

There wasn’t much to go off because he was so discreet but it was the way he made you feel that made it seem everlasting. That much she could tell in your eyes and words alone.

Before she departed her last words to you were that he’d definitely find you again.

The idea lifted your spirits but you certainly missed his company.

After about a month and a couple of weeks you still hadn’t found a place to settle in. Nothing ever seemed like home to you.

You felt like a ghost going from place to place. Seeing a new area was nice but there was still that never-ending feeling of being alone.

The thing you missed from your old town was the view of the ocean. So that’s what led you here, to the beach.

You were walking aimlessly on the shoreline when you looked up after a huge sudden gust of wind hit you.

You gasped at the sight of ‘him’ standing just a few feet in front of you. He was smiling once he saw your reaction. He looked the same, only he was clean-shaven and he seemed more relaxed.

He began making his way to you still having his bright smile on his face. You immediately dropped your sandals and ran into his arms. He hugged you to him feeling his deep chuckle rumble through his chest.

“I told you I’d find you.”

You pulled back but still stayed in his arms.

“Now I know how you got here. You flew,” you chuckled remembering his words from before. He brushed the hair in your face back and smiled.

“Yeah, I did.”

“So are you going to tell me what your name is or do I have to keep calling you Joe?”

“My name’s Clark. Clark Kent. As you may have heard, I’m not of this world but raised into it.”

“I’ve heard some stories.”

You didn’t quite know what he was or how he came to have these abilities but all you knew was that you cared for him deeply. Nothing else mattered.

“How are you liking your new life?”

“I felt like how you used to. Not really belonging anywhere. Going from place to place. Missing you and our annual strolls.”

He rubbed your arms once you started to get goosebumps. His touch felt safe and warm. Something you could get used to. Everything about him captivated you in every way.

“Close your eyes.”

You took a deep breath and closed them.

After a couple of seconds, he told you to open them. All you did was stare at him admiring just how handsome he truly is. He chuckled seeing your entranced state and told you to look down.

Confused, you looked down and saw that neither of you were on land anymore. You were both floating and had a vast view of the landscape.

Naturally, you gasped wrapping your arms around him thinking you were going to fall. You could hear him laughing but the thought of being so high up had overtaken your thoughts.

To capture your attention, he turned your face to him and looked down at your lips as if silently asking for your permission. You nodded and that was all he needed to kiss you.

His lips were soft but the force was rough. You both had been desperate for this moment. It had been put off for far too long.

“I’ll never let you go. Never fall, never get hurt, and never leave you all alone again.”

His words were tender and sweet.

“Would you like to come to Kansas with me?”

This time you were the one with the permanent smile on your face chuckling. You had unshed tears in your eyes at how happy you were.

“I’d love to go to Kansas with you, Clark.”

#Clark Kent #Kal-El #Superman #Clark Kent x reader #Kal-El x reader #Superman x reader #Henry Cavill characters #Henry Cavill #Man of Steel

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baekhansol · 3 years

Text

N.D.A | f.l

ℕ𝕠𝕟 𝔻𝕚𝕤𝕔𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝔸𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥 (ℕ.𝔻.𝔸.) noun

a contract by which one or more parties agree not to disclose confidential information that they have shared with each other as a necessary part of doing business together.

Happy Birthday, Felix Lee!

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : fluff!

𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 : mature

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : best friend Felix x gn + nonverbal reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 3.7k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : reader is nonverbal, JYP is an asshole, wanting to lie about having been eating well, food/eating, mentions of wearing masks, I think that's it ?

𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭 : Felix has always been your best friend, and takes care of you when you can't

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : this was beta read by the lovely Dee Dee over at @sugasbabiie . Her notes and edits were wonderful as always 💜

this is also a friendly reminder that my blog contains nsfw elements, so do not follow me if you are a minor.

At one simple glance into your eyes, once allowing yourself a moment of vulnerability with your best friend, Felix knew what a terrible day you must have had. He immediately pulls you into a warm hug, pausing in case he meets resistance before squeezing you and holding you tightly.

"Have you eaten well?" He softly asks you, playing with your hair as he sways you back and forth.

You wanted to lie and say yes. You really did. But you couldn't get yourself to respond that way, so instead, you shake your head no.

"I'll make something then," he says simply, pulling back to look you in the eyes.

Felix finds tears welling up in your eyes, so he cups your cheek with one hand. "Have you taken your meds?" He checks.

When you nod, his expression gives away a brief flash of relief before turning back to genuine concern.

"Good. Why don't you go put your pajamas on and start getting ready for bed then, hmm?" He suggests, smiling sweetly.

You hesitate, considering saying no. You rack your brain, but the fog from your mental state makes the task difficult. You were fairly certain you'd never been braless around Felix before, but at the same time, you really didn't want to wear one.

"It's okay, y/n," he softly assures you.

Looking into his eyes, you remind yourself he has sisters. So you nod as a soft whimper accidentally escapes you.

You retreat to the bathroom, scrubbing your face harshly as you wash it. You try to get rid of the self-hatred and body insecurities that consumed your entire body, but particularly your face. Of course, it didn't help.

A whine of irritation escapes you before you apply the rest of your skincare. Afterwards, you slowly shuffle to your bedroom. You stare at what pajamas you have clean (which isn't much) and end up in a long sleeved shirt to hide your arms and pajama shorts. You made sure the pair wasn't too free flowing, as you didn't want to flash Felix by some weird accident since you didn't wear underwear to bed.

You slowly shuffle out to the kitchen, finding Felix at the stove throwing something together. Padding closer, you notice him making ramen. You ask him what he is doing with a soft “Hm?”

He gestures for you to come closer before speaking, “You had some ramen, so I’m making it with eggs. And now I’m adding in vegetables, see?”

When you nod, he smiles. “Do you want to grab a bowl for yourself? I already ate,” Felix assures you.

You nod and timidly get yourself a bowl and chopsticks, your hands unsteady. You manage to set down the bowl without dropping it, and Felix notices your lack of stability.

He moves from the stove, getting a plastic cup with a lid and straw, pouring you a cup of water before getting himself a glass. Felix sets it at the table before returning to the stove, getting your ramen together in your bowl. “Will you sit down, Y/N?” he asks gently.

You nod and sit, sipping your water and swinging your legs. Felix soon places the bowl in front of you, and you begin to eat slowly. He sits next to you after getting a napkin, watching you to ensure you don't eat too quickly.

Following “Dr. Lee’s” orders, you finish the entire bowl of ramen. Once done, he inquires, “Go brush your teeth, okay? Do you need to take your night meds?”

You pout but nod, getting up and taking the cup of water with you. You take your medicine before slowly brushing your teeth, trying not to let the sensation overwhelm you. When you finally finish, you pad back out to find Felix, who was currently cleaning the dishes.

You huff at him, upset that he was doing them for you. He wasn’t just doing the ones he cooked with, but even the ones you had left in the sink.

He says nothing but smiles when you hug him from behind and bury your face into his shirt. When he finishes and dries his hands, you drag him to the bathroom and get out a spare toothbrush, silently offering him to stay overnight.

“Go lay in bed; I’ll come and join you soon,” he says. When you nod, he takes the toothbrush and gets himself ready for bed.

You lay in bed playing games on your phone, curling up under your sheets. Felix soon comes back, grabbing a book off your bookshelf. He sets his phone on your bedside table, placing his there as well. Felix sits on your bed, leaning against the wall and spreading his legs.

“Come here,” he suggests, patting the spot between his legs.

You hesitate before sitting up, moving to sit in his lap, resting against his chest. He opens the book in front of you, making you giggle when you realize what it is.

“Didn’t your mom buy you this?” he asks, kissing your cheek before resting his chin on your shoulder. You nod as he opens the book. “I still can’t believe she knew it was a Star Wars storybook and didn’t think it was a children’s book,” he laughs.

A little giggle escapes you, and Felix beams. He begins to read, his gentle voice helping to lull you to sleep. When he finishes the book, he helps you lay down and tuck you in. He puts the book back and turns off the light, smiling at the soft whine escaping you.

You wiggle a little, subconsciously craving his hold. "Lixie?" You manage to murmur, not even realizing it was your first words since he came over. But he knew.

"I’m here," he assures you, climbing into bed with you and spooning you. Felix wraps his arm loosely around your waist, handing you one of your stuffies to cuddle. "This okay?" He checks with you.

You nod, relaxing into him and falling back asleep.

"I love you," Felix says lowly, and you can't quite tell if you were dreaming or not. You two had said that you love each other plenty of times before, but this time seemed different.

You wake up in the morning alone and immediately begin to panic.

"Felix?" You cry out, stumbling out of bed.

You're quick to find him in the kitchen and nearly cry out of relief.

"I didn't leave; I'm just making breakfast," he assures you, setting down the spatula and hugging you close.

When you pull away, he looks at you intently, a smile creeping onto his face. "Good morning, sweetheart," Felix says, causing you to blush.

"Morning," you manage, glancing down.

"Go take your medicine. And don't worry about being nonverbal or not, okay?" Felix says.

You tried not to go nonverbal around others, but you had mentioned your frustration to Felix before. People, especially your parents, always ended up forcing you into talking. It made you uncomfortable and took up extra energy, exhausting you quicker. Felix was rather understanding at the time, but you were always afraid to be around him while nonverbal due to the struggle of communicating. But at the moment, it was going surprisingly well. You figure it's his patience and caring nature.

You go and do as he says, briefly wondering why he was telling you what to do and why you found it so easy to listen. You shrug and come back out, sitting at the table as Felix places a plate of eggs and toast in front of you.

"Eat up, please," he says, joining you with a plate of his own.

You begin to eat, letting out a happy hum as you do.

Felix’s smile grows before he clears his throat. "I have to go into the studio today, but I'm not comfortable leaving you alone, even if I take all of your sharp objects," he admits, his expression turning serious.

You look intently at your plate, finding the yellow of the eggs to be a lovely color suddenly.

"Will you come to the studio with me? You can stay somewhere quiet and read for homework, if you'd like," Felix offers, watching closely for your reaction.

You'd never gone to the studio before. There had been times where Felix had said it would be okay, but you never had the chance. You wanted to, but you were worried about saesangs, getting Felix in trouble, starting a scandal… you had, and have, a lot of anxiety around it.

You hesitate before nodding slightly, causing Felix to grin in absolute delight.

"Okay! Great! And the second thing is… can I borrow clothes? I know you sometimes wear boxers to bed, and I just need a clean shirt and sweats…" Felix asks, and this time it was his turn to blush.

You laugh a little and nod, hoping your clothes would fit him.

"Great! Then after we get ready, I'll drive us there," he decides, smiling to make sure it was okay with you.

You nod in agreement, giving him a sense of relief.

You go use the bathroom, relieved that he didn't get up and leave without saying goodbye, or that the whole thing was a dream or strange hallucination. You take your medicine before going back to the kitchen, sitting at the table where Felix had already begun to eat.

You hum softly as you eat, letting him know to the best of your ability that you appreciate his actions.

Once you finish your plate, you bring them to the kitchen sink and wash them. You go to pick up the pan, but you can tell it’s too hot to wash. You leave it aside to cool down, drying your dishes as Felix washes his own.

After drying your hands as well, you head to your room with Felix to get ready for the day.

Felix helps you make your bed, but you manage to do most of it yourself so it was made the way you like it. You sit down and hug one of your pillows, watching as Felix goes through your clothes and picks something out to wear. He ends up picking out your clothes as well, getting you a soft shirt, your favorite pants, and a hoodie that he could have sworn belonged to him at one time.

He opens your underwear drawer before you can stop him, a noise of distraught escaping you. Felix ignores it just as he ignores your sex toys and lubricant, finding a pair of boxers for himself and a soft, simple pair of cotton panties for you along with a wireless bra.

Felix shuts the drawer and sets what he chose for you on the bed, the soft blush adorning his cheeks visible.

"I'll change in the bathroom, ok?" He states, gathering his borrowed clothes and shutting the door behind him.

In shock, you stare at the door for a moment before managing to get yourself dressed and tossing your dirty clothes in the hamper. You get up and head to the bathroom, greeted with an open door. Felix had already changed and was borrowing your hairbrush.

"Sorry," he apologizes, somewhat sheepishly.

You shake your head and dismiss it with a wave of your hand, silently letting him know you didn't mind.

"Turn around," he says.

You give him a confused look but turn around regardless, watching his reflection in the mirror. Felix runs the brush through your hair, careful about your ears. He sets the brush down and runs his fingers through your hair, braiding it. Felix then ties it off with a hair tie, beaming in pride at his creation.

You give him an appreciative smile before he asks, "are you ready?"

You shake your head, pulling out your makeup.

"You know you don't have to," he begins.

You shake your head more stubbornly, crossing your arms with a huff before you point to your concealer. Felix chuckles, and much to your surprise, he begins to do your makeup. You turn to lean against the sink, watching as he concentrates on doing your makeup. His soft breath fans over your cheeks, and you were secretly glad you gave him a toothbrush.

Felix doesn't take long, giving you only base makeup. He does your eye makeup very simply, looking through your lip products before choosing the one he wants for you. Felix applies the glossy tint, his concentration on your lips causing you to blush.

"There," he softly murmurs, stepping back for you to look in the mirror as he pockets the lip tint.

You beam at him, turning and hugging him. He gently rubs your back before leading you to the door.

"Ugh, socks!" He remembers, turning back and heading to your bedroom.

You laugh and go to the kitchen, somehow managing to start cleaning the dishes. Felix comes back and looks confused, only to realize what you were doing. He helps by drying the dishes, watching as you tie up the trash.

"Eggs," you say pointedly.

"Good idea," he hums, going and putting on his shoes.

You notice he grabbed your backpack and keys, so you put your own shoes on.

As you throw out the trash, Felix goes and starts your car. You soon join him, using the hand sanitizer you carry for situations like this.

Felix turns on soft music, driving to the company after ensuring you were both wearing your seatbelts.

Once he parks, he grabs masks from his bag for you both. Felix puts his on before going to the passenger side door and helping you with yours. He slings your backpack over his shoulder, locking your car before leading you inside. You don’t notice Felix’s fingers twitching, but you did wish you were holding hands. Even in your sensitive state, you knew holding hands here and to the JYP building was not a good idea, as the possibility of saesangs taking a photo and starting drama was too high for either of your likings.

Once inside, security tries to stop you. “It’s okay, they’re with me,” he assures the guard, taking your hand as he shows them his ID.

The security guard stares you down before nodding and taking both of your temperatures. The guard stands to the side, letting Felix take you to the elevator and towards their practice room. He doesn’t let go of your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

Once off the elevator, another security member is about to stop you before they notice Felix holding your hand. “Excuse us,” he says, leading you around them. Their puzzled expression doesn’t go unnoticed by you, but you were glad they didn’t try to stop you.

He stops outside a room, pointing to it. “This is Channie hyung’s room, okay? If you need to go there for somewhere quieter, he won’t mind,” Felix explains, quickly pulling out his phone to check something. “Then we are practicing in this room today,” he says, leading you to a different door and opening it.

It was loud, as some of the others were stretching, talking, and dancing. Hyunjin smiles and waves as soon as he notices you, while most of the others shout their greetings. Changbin runs over and is about to hug you, but Felix stands in front of you, since Changbin was prone to hugging without asking.

“Do you want a hug?” Felix asks you, wanting you to be comfortable.

You hesitate before nodding, stepping around Felix and hugging Changbin. Changbin picks you up and spins you around, giggles escaping you.

“How are you? I can’t believe you came!” Changbin cheers as he sets you down, a grin on his face.

You step back into Felix, who gently holds your shoulders as you lose your balance. You look up at him, worry clouding your features.

“Y/N is… having some trouble talking right now. So, simple yes or no questions work best for them,” Felix explains, squeezing your shoulders reassuringly before letting you go.

“Oh, okay,” Changbin says, nodding despite not clearly understanding. “Sorry, Y/N, I didn’t know,” he adds, smiling.

You shrug a little, feeling your cheeks heat up.

“They don’t normally leave home when it happens. They generally are stressed and overwhelmed, so it helps them cope and is easier just to let them… communicate in other ways,” Felix further explains, moving to stand next to you and resting his hand on your back.

When you tense up, he withdraws his hand, but you stop him by grabbing his arm and shaking your head. Felix gently rubs soothing circles on your back as you accommodate yourself with the new space.

Chan comes over at the same time, smiling brightly. “It happens normally to neurodivergent people, right? Especially autistic ones?” Chan asks, looking at you for confirmation. You nod, and he continues. “Is it okay if I put my hand on your shoulder?” he asks. When you nod a second time, Chan places his hand on your shoulder and squeezes lightly. “I’m happy you came! If you need a break, you can go to my studio room, okay? Did Felix show you where it is?”

You nod, glancing at Felix.

“Okay, good! Today might not be the best day though,” he admits, looking to Felix.

“What do you mean by that?” Felix asks, rubbing your back.

Chan removes his hand from your shoulder and says in a hushed voice, “JYP is supposed to come to practice today.”

“I’m sure everything will be fine,” Felix responds with a tight lipped smile.

Once Felix makes sure you are comfortable sitting down, he produces earplugs from his pocket (you have no idea where or how he got them), and sets them in the palm of your hand. “In case it gets too loud,” he murmurs, smiling.

He straightens up as the choreographer enters the room, who they greet and thank. They soon start practicing, and you find yourself carefully stuffing the earplugs in your ears. You watch them in awe, looking at each of them practicing the new moves. Your eyes always come back to Felix, and you soon find yourself grinning like a fool. The song was amazing, and you wrote a note down in your phone to tell Chan, Changbin, and Jisung later on.

Right as they start a break, JYP himself comes into the room. You look up from your phone, the blood draining from your face as you try to meet Felix’s eyes. They immediately turn around and greet him, bowing and thanking him for his time.

“Show me what you have so far,” JYP says, heading towards you, standing in front of the mirror. That’s when he notices you. His eyes narrow and he walks over to you, and you immediately bow in greeting.

You feel the anxiety bubbling in your chest, threatening to overwhelm you as your breathing becomes irregular.

“You’re not an intern. Who are you?” he inquires, resting his hands on his hips.

You gape up at him, but thankfully Felix is quick to come to your aid.

“Sorry, JYP! This is my partner, Y/N. They can’t talk right now, since their doctor has their voice on rest-” Felix begins, only to be interrupted. Your eyes widen in shock as he introduces you as his partner, quickly trying to hide your surprise as he lies for you.

“So they’re sick? They shouldn’t be here then!” JYP demands, his face reddening in anger.

“No! They just aren’t supposed to talk because they had vocal chord surgery, that’s all!” he explains, doing his best to pull the lie.

Felix’s words seem to console and calm JYP, who huffs.

“Someone’s going to have to give them a non-disclosure agreement then,” he huffs, looking at the staff as if to tell them they needed to. “I will have a conversation with you later, Yongbok,” JYP sneers.

You knew Felix was in for it, but he gives you a charming smile before starting to practice.

You notice JYP’s glare every now and then, so when they take a break you make a beeline for the door, heading to Chan’s studio room and sending Felix a text with an explanation. You’re so caught up in remaining calm and composed that you almost bump into who turns out to be Mina from Twice.

Your eyes widen and you apologize, bowing and managing to say a soft, “I’m sorry.”

Once in Chan’s studio room, you move his chair and curl up under his desk. You put the hood of your hoodie over your head, doing some deep breathing. You take out the earplugs and put them in your pocket before turning on some soft, soothing music.

You close your eyes and don’t realize you had fallen asleep until Felix comes in the room, calling your name. Before he panics, he notices you under the desk. He bends down and offers you his hand, saying, “C’mon, you must be uncomfortable.”

You take it and he helps you stand up, your back popping as you do so.

“Are you hungry? It’s been a while since breakfast, and we all stopped and had lunch,” he explains, gently letting go of your hand.

You shove the hood off of your head, grabbing his forearms. “Did you mean what you said?” you ask, your eyes wide as your cheeks flush.

“What I said?” he asks, perplexed.

You stare at him for a moment before blurting, “You called me your partner…”

“Oh,” Felix says, his voice small. “About that…” he begins, subtly checking his pulse before rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable…”

“Do you want me to be your partner?” you bluntly rephrase.

Felix’s cheeks turn pinker and pinker as he nods ever so slightly. “I’ve thought about asking you before, but never did. I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way, and you’re my best friend…” he murmurs.

“Well…” you shyly begin. “You’re patient, caring, and help me when I go nonverbal. You’re understanding of my space and sometimes I swear you know me better than myself. You’re… Well, pretty much everything I want in a boyfriend…”

“Really?” Felix asks, surprised at your admission.

“Yeah…” you murmur with a nod, glancing downwards as you loosen your grip on his arms. You look back up and bite your lip before shyly asking, “Will you kiss me?”

Felix blinks, but smiles before pulling down both of your masks and giving you a soft kiss on your lips. You whine softly, so he cups your cheek and kisses you again.

After he pulls away, he smiles and giggles, “So about that non disclosure agreement…”

#kpopscape #kwritersworldnet #kpopficsnetwork #ultkpopnetwork #felix fluff #lee felix fluff #felix lee fluf #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #felix #happy birthday felix #lee felix #felix lee #yongbok fluff #best friends to lovers #f2l trope #felix f2l #skz f2l

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