#but show me a double helix and i am on my knees

[starkerforlife6969]

Starker - Superior Tony, Controlling Peter

A summer fling, Tony thinks, is just what he needs.

Sunlight streaks through the air, the air conditioning blasts cool gusts of wind onto flustered, heated, dripping skin.

Extremesis glints like gold in the summer light, his eyes like glass, and the people of New York are even less likely to meet his eye.

When he glides into his lab, his little ants scuttle into position, and Bucky salutes him in greeting, ever the soldier.

“Good morning, Sir.” Bucky nods, arm glinting, veins blue.

Is it morning? The heat is stifling. Summer tinges the sky with a late day hue. Tony slips off his sunglasses, smiles at his scared little recruits. “Morning, Bucky. How’d my little bees do last night?”

There are so many secrets still to human DNA. So many different configurations of Extremesis updates. His worker bees, his little ants, his little army of scientists that scuttle about his labs are- well, slaves is a term thrown around. Tony doesn’t like that. They’re his little helpers, his little bees.

They stand, trembling in line. Eyes smudged with dark rings from another all-nighter. He finds Peter, small, compact, beautiful, sun-kissed (how odd, Tony thinks; amused, has the boy been catching sunlight in his skin? Wandering outside? How quaint. How very Peter).

“Anderson success rate: 13%.” Bucky reads off the list. Anderson flinches. Tony tuts.

“Well now, that’s hardly promising. What was it last week?”

“15%.” Bucky says dryly.

Tony shakes his head. “That won’t do, will it?”

“Please, Mr-“

The guards come in, take Mr Anderson away for punishment.

The other recruits shake in the sunlight.

The other success rates vary but never impress him. How well Extremsis will mesh is a matter of science and guesswork, a pinch of luck, and-

“Parker success rate: 88%.”

The recruits seem to hiss in awe and jealousy and Peter bows his head.

Tony beams like the sun.

“88%.” He rejoices loudly, voice making them flinch. He claps, delighted. “My Peter, my prized Peter, 88%. See? It is possible. My precious Peter, he never lets me down.” Tony glides over to him, puts a large, dark hand on Peter’s slender neck. The boy swallows, Tony feels it, but he doesn’t flinch.

Tony smudges his thumb across that Adam’s apple. Wants to inhale the boy.

88%. Goddamn.

“Clever little angel,” Tony croons. “Pixie of the lab, Peter, weaving your magic again, hm?” He noses at the sharp jaw, Peter smells like suncream. Smells like dandelions.

“Riley success rate-“

“Bucky.” Tony growls, voice so cutting that Bucky pales, “I’m not finished praising Peter. Am I not allowed a moment to bask?”

Bucky takes a breath. “Of course, Sir. I’m sorry.”

“Good. Peter here is a fine example for the rest of you. Look at him.” Tony forces his fingers under Peter’s chin, makes him look up. The summer brown eyes are full of slyness. Danger. Insubordination. It makes Tony’s blood sing. He drags his fingers over those plush, wet lips. “Well done, Peter. You’ll be rewarded.”

A summer fling, Tony thinks, seeing Peter woven in the blankets of Tony’s immense bed.

He’ll keep Peter for the summer.

*

Summer passes.

The days cool, and so too should Tony’s affections, but they don’t. Peter flips the glass slide under the microscope, makes a note, and Tony watches.

It’s overcast outside. Grey clouds. Leaveless trees.

Peter works up here, in Tony’s private lab.

Summer is over. Fall is here.

“Come here, Peter.” Tony orders, trying to figure it all out.

Peter looks at him, huge brown eyes through lab goggles, and turns away. “I’m working.” A moment. Tacked on. Cheap. “Sir.”

Infuriating. Insufferable. “What’ll it take then, poppet? Come sit on my lap.”

Peter sniffs delicately, resumes working.

Anyone else would be dead. Anyone else would never take such liberties.

But it’s because of Peter that the next Extremesis update is ready to launch. Because of Peter that Tony’s own core is self-sustaining.

If Peter loathes him as a God, he shouldn’t keep bringing gifts to Tony’s altar.

“Peter.” Blue crackles around him. “Come here.”

Peter gives him a long side-look. “Summer is over, Mr Stark.” He says. “Will you be sending me downstairs?”

No. Tony feels like a caged up lion. Wants to growl, wants to roar, he can’t figure out if Peter is an antelope or a Panther, curled up in the leafless trees, waiting to pounce.

He can’t leave Peter Parker in Fall. Not when his eyes match the amber leaves, not when he moves his hips with Tony’s, not when Bucky reads:

“90%.”

*

It snows.

Extremesis is being used by a record number of people.

Bucky tosses Peter onto the floor at Tony’s feet.

The boy looks up at Tony, split lip, snowflakes on his lashes, shackles on his wrists.

“He was trying to leave the tower, Sir.” Bucky says.

Tony sighs, running his fingers through Peter's hair. “He has permission, Barnes. Did he not show you his pass?” He turns to Peter then, lifts his eyebrows, “Did you show Mr Barnes your pass, sweetheart?”

Peter grunts, wheezes, like he’s been punched. Tony frowns. “Tried to. But…” he shows Tony his shackled wrists.

Tony slices them them with his fingers. Peter gets to his feet.

“With Peter, Barnes, give him the benefit of the doubt.”

Tony can recognise a cliff edge. As he sits on the edge of the bed and watches Peter dab at his lip and tuck himself into a winter coat, Tony knows he is standing at the cliff edge.

It’s winter. Peter wears ugly scarves and drinks hot chocolate and tucks his cold feet into Tony’s knees.

If Tony doesn’t leave him now-

“Here.” Peter hums, passing a well-wrapped box over. It’s tied with a silver bow.

Tony stares at it, uncomprehendingly for a moment.

His storeroom is full of presents for Peter.

He opens this one.

They’re cufflinks. Designed like little double-helixes. There are blips in the DNA-

“Is that Extremesis?” He marvels, plucking one out and holding it up to the light.

“A molecular representation.” Peter confirms. “I know cufflinks aren’t that unique, but what do you get the man who has everything?”

He does have everything. With Peter here, still decorated with the remnants of New York snow, he will have a Christmas with everything. A winter with everything.

He’ll back away from the cliff edge in Spring.

*

Peter cleans dust off the TV in Spring.

He’s wearing hideous flannel and no shoes, Tony’s underwear, love bites on his neck.

He’s no worker bee. Tony can admit that. Peter is something else. Hisin a different sense. In a sense that doesn’t mean possession. Property. Peter is his- like he is Peter’s.

Is Peter a Panther? Does Tony control him? Does Peter love him? Fear him? Plan to kill him?

Peter meets his eyes. Tony remembers the boy he used to touch in line down at the lab.

88% Peter.

Such pride. In seeing one of his possessions do so well. What is that now? Four seasons later? It’s love.

Tony wants him. Would do anything for him. He’s tumbled off the cliff. He wonders if Peter knows-

“I want you to use Extremesis for good.” Peter says, smiling. “I want you to be Iron Man. Not Superior. I want you to be a hero.”

“Baby, I’m a god.”

“I don’t want a god.”

It stings. Tony snarls. He’s a lion-

“I want you to save people. I want you to be a hero, come back here and take me. I want the people of the world to love you. Not fear you. I want you to stop hurting them and start saving them.”

Tony laughs, but he’s afraid. Trembling. “You're in the wrong business, sweetheart-“

“You’ll enjoy it. You love being worshipped, let it be for goodness.”

“I already have worship-“

“Tony.” Peter smiles, summer, fall, winter, spring, “I wasn’t asking.”

A lion master.

Tony goes to kiss him, but Peter turns away.

“For every life you save, the more of me is yours.” Peter promises.

Tony’s hungry.

Peter’s love is a gift. A reward. Tony risks his life to feel the rush of Peter’s affections on him once he returns. Peter is intoxicating, a drug, a rush- this must be what it’s like for those who had become addicted to the diluted Exteremesis.

Tony would do anything to get more of him.

And there are always people to be saved, and Peter always rewards him.

He becomes a hero, on an invisible leash, and Tony doesn’t notice when Bucky says:

“Sir, may I have the weekend off?”

And Peter says, “Of course, Bucky. See you Monday.”

When the lab turns its attentions to research and development, away from nano-tech and control, when the weapons division closes down, Tony lets it wash over him.

He has another summer, another fall, another winter and another spring with Peter.

For that, he would do anything.

#starker #dark tony #good peter #controlling peter #peter x tony #superior iron man #mentions of slavery #mentions of blood

[fiercedeitylink-x-linkeduniverse]

Chapter 3: Injuries and Nightmares Pt. 1

I have some absolutely amazing friends from my LU Discord! I asked for help for planning out the major fight scene and the heavy angst. Shout to those who helped me plan this out yesterday! WARING HEAVY ANGST AND GORE WARNING!

"Pfffft, that's so cute!" "Shhh! You'll wake them up!"

"Too late," I groaned opening my eyes. Hyrule and Warriors gave me sheepish grins and I just mock glared back at them. Wind was surprisingly still asleep after all the noise they made.

"How am I supposed to get up?" "The aroma of food will wake him up," Wild chuckled when I whined in frustration.

It wasn't long the aroma of bacon and eggs woke up my little friend. Wind sat up rubbing his eyes sleepily, and I was able to get up and stretch. My back popped loudly in protest and shrugged it off yawning.

"Dude. And I thought Wild's back was loud when it pops," Warriors snickered.

"Thanks," I told Wild after I grabbed my food.

"Leave my friend alone, Wars. He just woke up." Wind shot back.

"It's alright Wind," I ruffled his hair causing him to protest.

"Hey! Stop doing that Fierce it's annoying." I laughed and ate my breakfast.

~~~~~~~~~ 3rd Pov

The chain was quick to eat breakfast, even Sky woke up in time to eat. After all, who would miss out on Wild's cooking? The monkeys chattered at the 10 heroes as they began to pack up camp in the early morning sun. Wild's ears twitched forward as he heard something from the jungle brush.

He narrowed his eyes but nothing was there.

"Something wrong, cub?"

"I think it might be a good idea to leave the Faron region," Wild replied staring into the jungle's thick brush.

"Something's stalking us,"

After 10 minutes of friendly banter as they packed up, Wild tapped on Fierce's shoulder.

Fierce's POV

"Since this is your first time in my Hyrule, I'll tell you about Faron. This can be a very dangerous place. I would recommend wearing armor if you got it. But if it starts raining take your armor off. If you don't you might get struck by lightning."

"That's... Annoying."

"Tell me about it. I got struck by lightning when I was wearing armor and almost died. Don't tell Twilight he'll kill me," Wild lowered his voice his ears moving backward toward Twilight.

"What was that cub?"

"Nothing!" I snickered at the panic in his voice.

"You're lying, get back here cub!" Wild bolted towards a tree so Twilight wouldn't catch him and scampered up like a little squirrel.

"Hey, Fierce! Wanna go exploring?" Wind bounced over to me, his eyes shining.

"As long as Time says okay," I grunted as I pulled out my chest plate from my ragged bag.

"Woah! Cool armor!" Hyrule watched as I pulled it over my head.

"Cool but very heavy," I replied adjusting the straps.

"Where did you get the armor?" Warriors rapped his knuckles on the breastplate.

"It was given to me by my father before he passed away," I muttered as I pulled my gauntlets on.

"Sorry, I didn't-"

"Wild! I have you now!" Twilight had Wild by his ankle.

"I would be careful you might-" Wild lost his grip causing them to fall onto the grass with thuds and groans.

"Fall..." Hyrule finished. The whole camp burst into howls of laughter.

3rd POV

The chain began traveling through the brush until they found the road that was on Wild's map. Wind was practically bouncing with all of his pent-up energy. Fierce stuck close to Wind, making sure he didn't wander off. Time had permitted them to explore as long as Wild said it was safe to do so. He agreed to let them explore but not until they got to the stable.

Wild's ears were constantly swiveling, trying to decipher the different sounds as they walked. He wasn't taking any chances. If something happened in his Hyrule he would never forgive himself.

Twilight had updated Time on their situation and was thinking out battle plans just in case. Legend was on edge, watching everyone to make sure that they were okay, not that he'd admit.

Hyrule found himself double-counting his medical supplies and kept biting his bottom lip nervously. Warriors was prepared for the worst, constantly checking for signs of monsters. Wind was worried but didn't show his concern. Four kept close to Sky. Sky was mentally preparing for a possible fight but was silently praying to goddesses that they would make it safely to the stables.

When they got to the stables, Wild showed them a good place to explore. It was a cliff and it was accessible by a sharp slope. The two went to explore but paused midway. Fierce had an uneasy feeling and decided to get his claymore out. The double helix blade. After attaching it to his back the two continued on their exploration.

Fierce's POV

I grunted as I worked my way up the hill regretting the choice to bring my helix blade and armor. Note to self, heavy weapons and armor are never a good idea when exploring. Lesson learned.

"Come on, Fierce! I wanna see the view!" Wind bounced up and down from the top of the steep incline.

"Where did you get this much energy?" I grunted when I finally reached the top

"Candy," He chirped and zipped over to the cliff edge.

"Wild, you are so dead when I get back," I muttered darkly as I walked over to Wind. I sucked in a deep breath as I gazed over the Faron region.

"Woah, Wild's Hyrule is amazing." I breathed taking in the tall jungle trees and the birds flitting to and fro from branch to branch. I could hear the bugs buzzing and the monkeys chattering, and the bird's musical cries. Until it went silent. Dead silent.

I could feel dark magic swelling and dispelling. I spun on my heel drawing the helix blade in one fluid motion.

"What the flip? What're darknuts doing here?!" Wind yelped before drawing his sword and shield. The darknuts towered over me and I'm quite tall. The moblins growled one wielding a dragonbone club and the other wielded a bow...

"Wait a minute... Wind run!" I roared grabbing him and tossed him to the side as the Moblin shot its arrow where he was just two seconds ago. The world went upside down. I was slammed onto the ground and Wind rushed over to me. I shook my head, trying to clear my head from the ringing in my ears. Wind stood in front of me, holding his sword and shield so tight his knuckles turned white. I managed to get on my hands and knees when Wind charged forward. He parried and blocked the Moblin's attacks. Why aren't the darknuts fighting?

Wind was fast but the club was faster. I watched in horror as it slammed into the back of his skull. Time slowed down as he fell onto the ground.

START OF FLASHBACK "Dad please don't die! Please!" I choked on my blood and the sobs that racked my body. He was covered in blood along with his wounds. Blood soaked his hair and tunic as he heaved, struggling to breathe. I could feel his blood on me and my own blood spilling from my own wounds onto him. So much blood. I gagged.

"Link... My son... I'm passing from this world... Stay strong my son... I ... Love... You..." He heaved one last time before passing on from this world.

"Tell mum I'm sorry," I whispered. I pressed my forehead to him before laying his body on the ground. His blood was on my hands. The soldiers' blood was on my hands. Termina's blood was on my hands. I failed. I swiped at my tears causing blood to be smeared all over my face.

"Majora! YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!" I screamed to the heavens.

END OF FLASHBACK

I snapped out of my flashback and I sprung to my feet as adrenaline surged through my bones. I grabbed Wind and ran. I laid him down under a tree and spied my blade. It was inches from the edge. I ran and dodged the Moblin's angry swipes. I snatched up my blade and swung hard. The Moblin's head was separated from its shoulders and black blood splattered onto me. I slowly turned towards the rest of the

I growled savagely as I approached the monsters in a defensive position. The Moblin fired a bomb arrow and I was knocked back. I staggered forward before I used magic to create a sword beam and kill the Moblin. Now the real fight begins.

3rd POV

Fierce clenched his sword tightly as he carefully approached the darknuts, watching every move they made. The fight was a blur of blades. The rest of the chain was running as fast as they could to where the explosion came from. Wild was frantic as he raced ahead.

Legend and Four raced forward with their pegasus boots, charging ahead desperate to save their friends. A Moblin aimed its bow, a bomb arrow knocked and fired at the cliffside, the blast causing it to collapse. Four and Legend dodged the debris as best they could but Four couldn't stop in time, a rock smashing into the side of his head, knocking him out cold. Legend cursed under his breath, taking out his shield to protect them both.

Wild scrambled up the incline dodging arrows and falling debris. He was desperate, he wasn't going to let down another friend. He wasn't! He climbed to the top and froze. Fierce had rips and tears in his tunic and his blood was splattered across the ground. But he was still fighting. He was close to the edge but kept fighting back.

A shadow fell over him and he froze.

"Don't you dare!" Wild snarled furiously. The Moblin sneered and brought down its club on his hand.

"Ow! You little- Yeooooowww!" Wild screeched as he fell before opening up his paraglider and barely missed Legend and Four as he landed.

Fierce began charging up massive amounts of magic, preparing a massive sword beam. Legend and Hyrule's hackles raised as they felt the intensity and power of his magic. The others froze when Legend raised his hand.

"Don't, you might get caught up in his magic!" Legend roared over the distressed cries of the others.

Fierce let out a fierce battle cry as he swung the blade. The darknuts split in half and so did most of the trees as a result of the force of the magic. Fierce stabbed in his sword in the ground exhausted and leaned on it until the other arrived. Hyrule was the first one up this time. His face turned pale when he saw the destruction and wounds of his friends.

"Wind, take care Wind." Fierce rasped out his energy fading fast.

Wild raced up covered in dirt and with his right hand quite swollen. He went bug-eyed at the darknuts and moblins, their black blood staining the ground where they laid. Wild shook his head and raced over to Fierce concerned at the rate his face was turning pale.

"Fierce!" Wild barely caught him before he collapsed and yelped under his weight. Warriors scrambled over and helped Wild before he was crushed.

"I got ya!" Warriors grunted. Everyone else arrived at the top and stared at the wreckage that had occurred.

"Are they alright?" Time asked when he finally found his voice.

"Wind has a concussion, not sure how bad," Hyrule stated while thoroughly examining him. A loud retching cough from Fierce startled everyone. He started puking up blood and Hyrule sprinted over leaving Wind in Sky's hands.

"MOVE!" Hyrule thundered scaring the crap out of everyone. He immediately started using his healing magic trying to save Fierce's life. Time one eye drifted towards the sword that was in the ground. He felt his blood drain from his face. He knew that blade.

The Fierce Deity's Sword.

#fierce deity link #linked universe fanfic #linked universe au

[travel-hopefully]

@missmendelsohn did this and it seemed fun so i had a go...

1. What is your nickname? Sez, Sezzy, Sezla etc…

2. How old are you? 22

3. What is your birth month? January

4. What is your zodiac sign? Capricorn

5. What is your favorite color? All colours are beaut! My faves would have to be green and purple though.

6. What’s your lucky number? 2

7. Do you have any pets? Yes- An energetic whimsical blue roan cocker spaniel called Monty, a cute and sleepy CavaPooTzu called Rory, and a pretty sassy tortie cat named Jazz.

8. Where are you from?  England

9. How tall are you? 5′2 (actually 5’1 ¾)

10. What shoe size are you? 5.5-6 usually

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Too many! I think about… 18?

12. Are you random? Very very random… and weird!

13. Last person you texted? On text, my dad. On Whatsapp, my boyfriend.

14. Are you psychic in any way? I really don’t think so, definitely have never successfully predicted the future, apart from one-off coincidences.

15. Last TV show watched? The Handmaid’s Tale

16. Favorite movie? The Harry Potter series, and out of them, Prisoner of Azkaben.

17. Favorite show from your childhood? Scooby Doo! I was obsessed!

18. Do you want children? Yes I think so.

19. Do you want a church wedding? No not really… maybe something in the countryside or on a beach.

20. What is your religion? None.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Once, when I had a tendon problem in my right foot from Gymnastics.

22. Have you ever gotten in trouble with the law? Nooopee!

23. How is life? Improving, but my anxiety is causing me a lot of hassle from time to time.

24. Baths or showers? It depends on my mood. If I’m feeling lazy and want to unwind I’ll go for a bath. If I want to get on with my day and wake myself up I’ll choose a shower.

25. What colour socks are you wearing? None!

26. Have you ever been famous? Lol… no.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? No I want to have freedom to go places and not be recognised.

28. What type of music do you like? A blend of Indie, Pop, Rock and Television soundtracks!

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? No but it could be fun.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? I have 5 because it’s a double bed… including 1 cute hedgehog cushion.

31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my side.

32. How big is your house? It’s a flat… quite roomy but not too big,

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Cereal- normally chocolate hoops with milk, and a piece of fruit- either banana or kiwi fruit.

34. Have you ever left the country? Yes quite a lot of times.

35. Have you ever tried archery? Yes it was really cool! I’d love to try it again.

36. Do you like anyone? I like many people :) 

37. Favorite swear word? Erm…bloody hell… is that a swear word? I say it a lot anyway!

38. When do you fall asleep? Between 11 and 12.

39. Do you have any scars? One on each knee and a few mini ones on my right hand (Clumsy!)

40. Sexual orientation? Straight 

41. Are you a good liar? I can tell a good white lie but not big lies.

42. What languages would you like to learn? Spanish, German, Mandarin.

43. Top 10 songs? This is soooo hard! 1. Laura Palmer (Bastille) 2. Scare Away The Dark (Passenger) 3. Send Them Off! (Bastille) 4. Arsonist’s Lullaby (Hozier) 5. Radioactive (Imagine Dragons) 6. Lies (McFly) 7. Cough Syrup (Young The Giant) 8. Life’s For The Living (Passenger) 9. Any Tenth Doctor theme variations inc. The Doctor Forever & Vale Decem (Murray Gold) 10. This is Gallifrey (Murray Gold).

And that’s in no particular order :)

44. Do you like your country? Yeah its cool.

45. Do you have friends on the web? Yes a few :)

46. What is your personality type? INFJ (The Advocate)

47. Hogwarts house? Gryffindor

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yes I can!

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to

Clara!!!

50. Left or right handed? Right

51. Are you scared of spiders? I’m petrified… sometimes I almost stop breathing if one comes near me!

52. Favorite food? Chocolate!!

53. Favorite foreign food? Greek is nice… especially Moussaka

54. Are you a clean or messy person? I like things to be clean but most of the time I procrastinate and leave things in a state  

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Probably something I shouldn’t say lol

56. What colour underwear? Black

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? About 45 mins to 1 hour

58. Do you have much of an ego? No not at all tbh

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Definitely suck :P

60. Do you talk to yourself? I do a lot!

61. Do you sing to yourself? Yes, often.

62. Are you a good singer? Nopppeeee, may people tell me I am tone deaf!

63. Biggest fears? Fear of death and losing loved ones.

64. Are you a gossip? I can be sometimes, but I can keep a secret when necessary.

65. Are you a grammar Nazi? I can be, but mostly I don’t care about that much

66. Do you have long or short hair? Mid-length – up to my shoulders, and very unruly

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? No chance!

68. Favorite school subject? Science – Biology and Chemistry; and Art!

69. Extrovert or introvert? Introvert with some extroverted traits

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No but that’d be so cool!

71. What makes you nervous? I have anxiety so any anxious thoughts I have really. Also big social situations.

72. Are you scared of the dark? No, the dark is fine.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? If it is necessary yes; I wouldn’t do it all the time cause it would be annoying.

74. Are you ticklish? Yes, especially on my feet.

75. Have you ever started a rumour? No not that sort of person.

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Yes on a few holidays in Europe

77. Have you ever drank underage? Yes but it was always with my parents permission :P

78. Have you ever done drugs? No!

79. What do you fantasize about? Being free from anxiety.

80. How many piercings do you have? My ear lobes, and one helix piercing,

81. Can you roll your R’s? No I don’t.

82. How fast can you type? Quite fast.

83. How fast can you run? I used to run very fast but then I injured my foot so not so much anymore.

84. What color is your hair? Brown with gingery tones.

85. What color are your eyes? Bluey- grey

86. What are you allergic to? Not much, some medications, lotions and plasters

87. Do you keep a journal? Yes, and I should write in it more often tbh

88. Are you depressed about anything? Yes, having anxiety makes me sad quite a lot.

89. Do you like your age? Yeah I suppose so, but things were better in my late teens,

90. What makes you angry? Myself and my negative thoughts

91. Do you like your own name? Yeah it’s okay

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? No, thankfully.

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? One of each would be nice!

94. What talents do you have? Gymnastics- I do a great handstand!

95. Sun or moon? I appreciate both :P

96. How did you get your name? My mum and dad chose it…. They didn’t want anything too girly and wanted it traditional

97. Are you religious? No not really

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? Yes a few, I have a counsellor at the moment too.

99. Colour of your bedspread? At the moment- brown and white

100. Colour of your room? Purple

Anyone who wants to do this too, feel free!

#me #about me #my stuff #tagging #questions #100 questions

[damn-anotherangel]

Remember Your Wings

I do not know what I expected the first time I heard the Lord my Creator speak. I do not know why I had been called in the first place. In my secret heart, I yearned for it. To hear His Voice, feel His Love and attention focused on me for even a moment, I've lived for it ever since my creation, even in that brief moment of fear for my existence... but I know I did not expect any of this. 

A faceless angel hovers outside the window of my room, high in one of the Spires of the Dominion. They shine so brightly, and I wonder, for only a moment, if that is how I look; no eyes, no mouth, no defining features at all. 

169-Ω. Gather the Phosphor and report to the Seat of Keter immediately. All will be revealed in due course. 

 There was the reason for the lack of mouth. This angel had no need to physically speak, for I heard the words as if they were spoken into my conscious mind. I stand, and a stray ringlet of hair falls in front of my vision. I think for a moment, as I tuck it behind my ear, that I must look different. The Messenger was bald as well as featureless. 

I wonder what I look like... I think idly as I lean out from the window, and let the sky take me, natural as taking a breath.  

I feel a rush, a thrill, as I plummet down through the skies of the dominion, mere inches from the spire in which I reside. A tear flies from my eye, and I shout an exaltation to the Dominion for the possibility of such an experience. I spread my wings, each feather as clear as a piece of the sky at sunset, pull myself out of the dive and power myself towards the Seat of Netzach where the powers reside.  

The Warriors are training, as ever they do, in the sky above their spire. They fly about with such a perfect synchronization, not one feather out of place in the entire fleet of millions of angels swooping and gliding and arching, masses splitting off and coming together in new and beautiful ways that I could watch and probably had watched forever.  

Standing at the top of the spire, watching the Host, was Lucifer. So beautiful, he was called Phosphoros, or the Morning Star, and was known to be especially loved by the Lord. 

I whispered his Identification to myself once I landed. "Pw'AR-Phosphoros-1.36A" He noticed me, and turned gracefully, effortlessly from his crystalline host to greet me. We make eye contact, and I suddenly feel very plain by comparison. I avert my gaze downward, gathering my confidence. The ringlet of hair falls into my vision again. I glance up for a moment to see that he is smiling at me.  "Your name is Aeonai. You are called the Everspark, are you not?" I nod shyly, heat brushing my face.   He knows the name of an unimportant angel such as me.  "Is there something I can do for you?" he asks, his voice washing over me like clear waters. "I have been asked to escort you to the Seat of Keter. The messenger did not tell me what the escort was to entail. It only said ‘All will be revealed in due course.' " My voice takes on the tone of what was told to me, and I know from his expression, it touched his mind in the same way it had touched mine. "Where you lead, I shall follow." He turns a half-step and beckons to his second-in-command, Azazel to keep charge while he is away. I smile and turn with a flourish, and fall backward off of the spire, laughing as the rush grabs hold of me once more, and I spread my wings and circle the tower, memorizing the details of this Warrior's home. The Morning Star is not far behind me, his powerful wings speeding him across the Dominion.

I slow a little as we approach the spires of Hesed, and he flies alongside me. I feel like he's watching me, studying me. I catch myself in wondering, once again, in that secret heart if I am pleasing to behold...  "Your manner fascinates me." he muses and I steal a glance at him, feeling plain once more. "How do you mean, Morningstar?" "Lucifer, please. I prefer familiarity." he insists. "It is the way you fly. Your Passion shows when you fly." "Thank you. The compliment means so much, coming from one so Favored as you." My heart is light, and I feel as if I could fly forever. "You should show me how you do it some time. I would enjoy learning from you very much." he mused.

A small thrill washes over me, and I pull my wings in tight to my body. "LIKE THIS!" I shout, "Follow me!" I drop like a stone, and I feel like I left my breath behind in Hesed's central spire.I glance back and see he's copied me, wings tight, shining like the comets the Universe will have, a look of fierce determination on his face. I open my wings and pull into a corkscrew he catches up and mirrors me, and the world is spinning, except for his face, his hair beating around it like a wild fire. "Relax." I tell him, as if telling him a secret, "Do not think about the doing, just do it." He looks at me, the closest to confused I'd ever seen him as we ascended past the spires. "What do you mean, I need to relax?" "You look so determined. Determination communicates strength, but also stress. Do not try and catch up or pass me. Once you feel that fierceness, aim yourself higher, and let yourself fall." I breathe as we reach our zenith, our peak, that point where we're suspended... "If you are afraid, I am here to hold on to." I reassure him, teasing a little, as our hair rises past our faces. "I am not afraid." he denies, but he takes my arm as the wind starts to whip past us again, and we accelerate downwards through  the sky. Muscle by muscle, I feel his tension unwind and he relaxes entirely. "Fall until you are afraid, then remember that you are blessed with wings to fly."" Fall until I am afraid..." he looks at me, and then ahead of us, as the glass and silver of the Dominion rise to meet us. . . The wind is screaming, the world is spinning, I see a tear on his face as his eyes widen and I smile."Now, spread your wings, Lucifer." He breathes, and for a moment, his grip tightens, then he releases me, and we spread our wings, and we fly. Lucifer, the bright Morning Star laughing in exaltation, lets the momentum of the fall speed him forward, moving his wings only to bank and turn, and I follow him, mirroring his every movement. We split apart, and spiral around the path between the Sephirot of Wisdom and Mercy along the mighty Road between them. We spin and spiral faster and faster, the paths of our bodies wreathed in the light of an eternal  morning; a beautiful shining double helix. angels on the Road could see the display and hear our laughter...  He catches up with me, and grasps my forearm with his hand. I return the gesture. "I feel I cannot be afraid with you near me." he whispers as we approach the tallest spire in the Sephirah of Keter, known as the Seat.

We pass through the circular window of the spire, and enter a bare room with walls that reflect everything perfectly. There in the wall stands a reflection of Lucifer, outlined by the sky. And there, just next to him, stands... I suppose that figure, standing only to Lucifer's chest, dark ringlets draping past his face, and wings reflecting a sunset under a noonday sky, is... "Is that me?" I turn to the Lucifer standing next to me, and he glances over, a question in his eyes. "What I look like, I mean." "Beautiful, aren't you?" A voice intones from a corner of the room. I shift my gaze to the corner of the room and behold. . . nothing.

In the reflection, though, facing one pair of our own reflections, is a young and  wingless angel with hair about His face as well as on His head. As He walks away from the corner, the reflection in the other wall shows a taller, older angel  also without wings walking toward another pair of our reflections. In a rush of movement, all grace even in a rush, all reflections of Lucifer have taken to their knees in proper Supplication, and I realize with a start that I am in the presence of my Lord and Creator, though my mind breathes the word ‘Father’ "Forgive me, Fa- My Lord, for delaying in my Supplication-" I say in a rush, dropping to my knees so quickly I hear a thump. "Shh, shh. You may be calm. You are forgiven." the Presence before us murmurs, as both the young and older angel hold out a hand for silence. "I would like for you both to stand so I may look upon you." We and our very army of reflections do so, and the angels in the mirror circle us, studying us. "You are everything I expected and more. I am so proud of both of you." the Reflection of the Son turns to the copy of me in his mirror, appears to smile, and puts His hand on my shoulder, and I feel its weight."Aeonai your job is complete. You may leave us now." I glance at Lucifer standing next to me as he stiffens up, the light in his eyes waning, and I go to embrace him once more. I feel his tension ease again, and he returns the embrace. Satisfied that I had presently completed my tasks, both commanded and unsaid I step towards the balcony, but Lucifer holds my wrist. Lucifer's reflection looks at the Image of the Father. "If it is no trouble to you, may Aeonai stay, Lord?" I freeze, my weight shifting toward the balcony anyway, to keep from causing problems, but the angel's request surprises me. Not to mention the Creator's response. "I certainly don't mind," our Creator replies, "as long as you are sure. This will be a matter that is yours alone, so if you trust him with it, he may stay."Lucifer looks at me, no trace of fear in his gaze, "I trust him. I would like to have him here." "Then I will stay, and thank you, Father" I get to my knees and bow my head momentarily, before repositioning myself. I sit on the balcony, legs hanging over the edge, as questions are asked about the Host. Lucifer says the Fleet is admirable, and he hopes it embodies the perfection Our Father had in mind for the angels. "Indeed, it does." He responds. "Now, for the reason I have sent for you." Both the younger and older Reflection of the Lord takes a knee before Lucifer, looking his reflections in the eye. "I have a Task for you, my Morning Star. It will be difficult, and will require more than anyone should ask of you." I lean forward as Lucifer replies "I would do anything for You, Father." 

"The Universe is nearing completion. Soon, the World will be populated by many kinds of Life, great and small. One of these creations will rise to shape the world themselves. To watch over it as I watch over My Dominion, but much closer in body and mind. They will be a part of the world. My Children, and they shall live in peace and be prosperous." I think, personally, that this plan sounds wonderful. To have a life of happiness forever, like us... it is so good of our Father to have such an idea..."Thank you Aeonai, I am glad My perspective is shared, but I am not quite finished." He continues, "I want that happiness to MEAN something. I want it to be effortless to laugh, but to know what the laughter is for. I need some difficulty, but I find it hard to play both angles of this cosmic argument at the same time." "What I need from you, is to be 'Temptation.' " " 'Temptation,' Father? What do you mean?" "You need to be the Villain." The Creator said simply, "The ultimate evil, to the Dominion's ultimate good. Everything you see in the dominion, you must taint it." and the Son gestures toward the Father's mirror, and the Father raises his hand... With a flash, that mirror shows us pure terror. The reflection looks like Our Father, but it has drastically changed. No detail has been altered, but the Reflection of the Father looks much darker. He looks wreathed in Malice. There is no caring in his eyes. There is spite, and hatred, and deception. There is betrayal. I did not even know there were words for such things, but I found I knew them. The Elder makes a gesture with his hands like an awful warped Supplication, and frost spreads and burns from him. Spires of glass and metal buckle under the weight of crystalline destruction. They twist, rust, and shatter in the reflection, and all is a ruinous wasteland under the unforgiving sky. It is only a reflection, but by the Dominion, I can almost smell the rot, and feel the frozen creaking, like ice crushed between my teeth, but between every fiber of my being. . .  I close my eyes, and a tear runs down my face at the thought what might become of the Morning Star, the most beloved among us... My heart drops, and I feel a pang even deeper within. "Must he become such as this?" I ask the unchanged Reflection of the Son. "Why him?" The younger Reflection sits next to his copy of me, and again touches my shoulder. "Because, he can survive what will happen. My love for him has given him the strength he needs to do this, and still be my Morning Star when it is all over. I chose him because he may not lose himself in this task." Lucifer steps slowly towards the mirror of Ice, rust, and ruin; his wings dragging on the floor. A trail of tears follows him like a trail of blood after a murder, and the analogy is so foreign and yet terrifying to me in its familiarity that I want to comfort him, but the Lord holds me back. "No, you mustn't. He needs to understand what he will go through. He will be scorned. He will be hated. Stories will be told of his betrayal, and of his exile from the Dominion. They will say there was a War, and that he and his followers were cast down violently, wingless abominations, the rulers of..." and here, the true scope of what is unfolding dawns on me as the unthinkable happens: The Lord cannot speak the words... "The rulers of our own nightmares" Lucifer says, as his copy's wings seem to shrivel and rot, until they are leathery and emaciated hands, webbed, and massive. His hair turns dark and hangs loosely about his face. his skin burns and bleeds, until he is covered red. Spiralled horns grow from his temples, and frame his face, his mouth a flash of fangs. His eyes drown in blackness, but burn white-hot, and their gaze is hard to meet. Strangely, he still looks beautiful. It is still Lucifer, so of course he is beautiful. A tear traces a line of fire down his cheek as he looks at me. "Though the only nightmare to me now is the expression on your face as you look at me, Aeonai." and the reflection’s frost gives way to a burning fire... I look away, out across the balcony, and I look to the unedited beauty of the Dominion, and for a flash, I see it all shatter, burst into flames and die. "It just means you can play this part the best, Lucifer." I say. I turn, and hesitate for a moment, but the real Lucifer is looking at me, and I don't care this time if I feel plain. At least I see the reality of him.

"Will you do this for Me?" Our Creator asks, a hint of apprehension tinting his voice. "I don’t understand. Your tone implies he has a choice." I voice to the empty space that I feel next to me, somehow knowing this observation is forbidden in some way, questioning at all some kind of taboo, and worse, for this sounds almost like an accusation. But our Father answers me anyway, with no hint of chagrin. "Of course he has a choice, my Artemis. The universe will not exist without its main antagonist of course, but he can certainly say no if he wishes. The Universe will only remain unfinished if he refuses." I close my eyes, and see the truth, that Lucifer would never wish to say no to our Father, even as he speaks the words: "Of course I would do this. I would want nothing more than to do my very best for you, Lord Creator." "And you will make me so proud." I realize the ruined reflection is gone. the warped and perverted images of both our Father and Lucifer replaced with the reflections of their proper selves."Now go, Lucifer, and contemplate what I ask of you. You will only hear me say this once, and I would only ask this of you. I want you to break my Heart, my Morning Star." The elder Reflection of the Lord kisses Lucifer on the forehead, and the younger Reflection hugs him fiercely. Lucifer strides stiffly to the balcony, his feathers brush my face and they are so soft... he turns to me and mouths 'find me' and he lets the sky take him. I see a tear fall, but I know not if it is one of sadness or exaltation. All I am sure of is that I saw a flash of fire within the tear.

+++

"You are different from the other angels, Aeonai." I hear the Voice behind me say. "I think I understand that, but please, elucidate for me, Your Eminence?" ”For one, you say ‘My Lord, Your Eminence,’ but your heart breathes ‘Father’.” I look down, guilty. but the presence lifts my chin. and the Elder Reflection kneels beside me “For another, it is the way you fly. Both of these details I love about you and made the potential for in you. Would you like to know a secret?" I nod, shy in the realization that my differences were not to doom me. ”Of all the titles I have been given by my Host, I think ‘Father’ is my favorite.”  I please you, I am not an abomin- "Please work to cast that fear from your heart. In fact, that you are here means you have a job to do as well. A daunting task, especially for one who sees existence as you do. I made you this way for that reason." "But I was almost destroyed..." I whisper. There is a catch in my voice that I hate. There is bitterness in my voice when I speak to my Fa— our Lo- our Father.

"But you were not. The angel that assessed you I created to have a touch more compassion than the others, for the express reason to save you that fate. I have no name for what exactly sets you apart, but you are unique in a way I want each of My Children to be unique. You are curious, compassionate, and you trust not because something is inherently good, but because, despite what you see, you can. You ask of choice. You question. You test yourself. In a way, that makes your exaltations to Me much stronger." "I thought it was taboo to question Your Word." "For almost anyone else, it would just not happen. The thought would never enter their head. to use a phrase that may one day be used 'It's simply not a part of their programming.' They would only say yes, and do." "And Lucifer?" "He is special also, in his own different ways, and he needs to be. For this task will wear away almost all that he is." At this, my heart sings a note of a lament, but I breathe deep, and steel myself. "What is the Task you have for me, Father? What am I to do?"

"Make sure he does not lose sight of the beauty he sees in the Dominion, in Me, and in those he tries to tempt. In everything he warps, show him the Truth, when the time comes." ”What does that mean, ‘When the Time Comes’?” “I believe you’ll know when that time is right.” "Will I see him again, before that time comes?" "Once. You will see him once before the Universe is set in motion, and that will last until his Task begins." "What will I do after?" "You will wait. Wait until the That Time." "I may do more than that." I say, More than simply a statement, but toeing the line at warning. 

"You may. Or you may not. That is the beauty of it though," and the younger Reflection is laughing, and the elder Reflection is smiling ruefully. "I feel that I will take much from how you are in the making of My Children. But I am curious. What face would you show them in his stead? If I asked  you to, what would be YOUR ultimate Nightmare? Look into the mirror and show Me, Aeonai." 

I get up, and I walk toward the mirror reflecting the Son. The floor around my reflection in the Son's mirror becomes pebbles and colorless ash. The sky darkens, and in a flash of lightning the Spires of the Dominion become wicked mountain crags. The feathers of my wings stain dark, my hair burns short and around  it a wicked spiked halo floats, more oily feathers sprout around my waist, shoulders and waist, which changes to a much more avian form, complete with two pairs of wings and an imposing tail. My feet become spindly talons, and my hands grow claws and darken to a charred black. My eyes fill with tar but for their centers, which fade to a milky white. The wings on my shoulders simply fall away, shattering on the sand.

"Lucifer's nightmare was from Hatred, a burning destructive wrath. your nightmare is a much quieter Ruin, is that right?" said the Reflection of the Son, now hairless, a model made of cracked stone, and eyes of deepest black, reflecting nothing but a fell beauty. "Yes Father. My Nightmare is much quieter than his. In fact it is silence. A lack of life, love, or exaltation in any form. Total loss."   "Then, in a sense, your future in this Task holds this as much as his future holds that burning hatred he saw." I gasp and tears spring to my eyes once again. I feel guilty for how often that seemed to be happening as of late. As they fall, the tears trace lines of tar down my reflection's cheek. "I need to find him."

I turn and run from the room as the reflection breaks and returns to the brightness of the True Dominion. I do not want my—OUR Lord Father to see me cry, and cry bitterly I do as I plummet from the balcony of the Seat of Keter. For a moment I contemplate not opening my wings, if only to avoid the pain of such loss... But what of your Father, and Lucifer, both who seem to care for you?  My mind whispers, and My wings open with a snap, almost too late to save me from  a violent ending. All I leave is a few glimmering tears that probably fall to this day. 

I feel I will find Lucifer in the Sephirah Binah, with its glass prisms, and lo, I see him on the highest point on the Seat of Binah, the tallest Spire. I land heavily, and I trip. He kneels to help me, and I grab him, and I simply hold him. "I am scared for you, Lucifer. I feel I have only gained a pole-star right as the Dominion would be losing a Morning Star... and now I will lose both lights." "The Lord Creator said I would return... At the End of Everything, you heard Him." Lucifer brushes aside a curl of hair from my vision. "So you mustn't mourn me, please. I already will miss your joy in my isolation. don’t take that from me earlier." “I will miss you also, and fiercely... May I stay with you until you leave?" I ask, looking into his eyes, knowing I may have asked too much from this angel I have barely met, but he nods. 

The time we spent felt like forever, and it was perfection. We flew for the flying. We embraced for the sake of contact and comfort. We watched the Dominion and the Host, admired them not for their perfection, but for their beauty. . .

But it all was over too soon, and suddenly, I felt I’d been running on a road that went no farther. My toes over the edge of a cliff, Lucifer’s hand in mine, perched on the precipice of Sephira Malkut. There, beyond the darkness lay the completed Universe. It was so beautiful. Ever-expanding, but still so small.

"It is time," he murmurs, and I hear a Voice utter "Yes" in agreement. Lucifer takes a breath, and with a glance of goodbye, he shifts his balance forward. I see a flash of that fierce look and my heart drops from my chest. . . 

Just as his feet are about to lose contact, I take his hand, and I let my balance shift forward as well. "What are you. . .?" Lucifer gasps in surprise as I gather him in close into an embrace. "You looked Afraid. That is not how you should leave the Dominion." "How should I leave it then?" he asks as the air whips past our heads like a memory of that first time we flew. “And are you leaving it with me?” "Fall. Let's Fall until we are afraid." I murmur, tears in my eyes, welling for a feeling I have no name for."And then remember our Wings"  he breathes, his eyes reflecting mine, "That we were Blessed with to fly..." we whisper like a secret as we fall past stars and clouds and galaxies, past suns and comets, past rings and sparks towards a beautiful little planet and a beautiful little garden that would one day be called Eden...

[crocgirl420]

also i’m just going to do that body meme even though nobody asked

Hair: What hair color looks best on you and what's your natural color? my hair is naturally black and it looks best that way i think but i was also a cute blonde so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   Skin: Do you tan easily? not as easily as i used to! Eyes: What is your favorite show to watch?...........glee Nose: What is your favorite perfume/candle fragrance? i have no idea. i like musky things, floral things, and citrus things.  Mouth: Do you want to kiss anyone right now? not really........ Tongue: What was in your last meal? ugh Windpipe: Do you sing? not well!  Neck: Do you wear necklaces? occasionally  Ears: How many piercings do you have (if any)? so many. helix, forward helix, snug, double conch, triple, rook, tragus at one point (rip), quadruple, two more helix, nose, and nipple. i want to get my other nipple done tbh and do something and spice up my forward helix. Cheeks: Do you blush easily? i have no idea Wrists: Have you ever broken a bone? no Hands: Are you an artist/writer? once upon a time!  Fingers: Do you play an instrument? i can play the clarinet......... Heart: Are you in love? If so, does the one you love know? nah Lungs: Do you smoke cigarettes? i actually quit like a month or two ago?  Chest: Are your maternal/parental instincts strong? i guess it depends on what you count. i’m not sure if i want kids but i am very good with them......... Stomach: Do you feel confident in your body image? kill me Back: Are you a virgin? see above Hips: Do you like to dance? very badly! last time i went to a club i think i did the disco finger for at least an hour.  Thighs: Has anyone ever called you fat or ugly? lol Knees: Have you ever cheated on someone? no Ankles: Have you ever been arrested? not yet....... Feet: Favorite pair of shoes? GLITTER BOOTS Brain: Anything you want to ask: why am i like this

[thisaccounthasbeentransfered]

Project Nebula 2: To Escalate

Clouds blanketed the sky in its depressing, rainy glory. Under a wet black oak tree, I bathed in reeking rainwater. I had gotten there at dawn. I heard the splashing of feet in the puddles of water, approaching me. I looked up. It was Indigo, dressed as if he were to travel to the coldest regions of the Earth in a few minutes. Everything obscured in jackets and scarves. He sat at the edge of the bench.

"It's not even cold," I commented, "And I thought we were just talking."

"This is evidential!" he barked back, "If you want to know how you ended up like this, you need to look in more unexpected places."

I opened the tote bag. The absurdity of the items we bought ranged from little girl sticker books to Victorian-era kitchen utensils. Disjointed, irrelevant, and possibly helpful. I reached inside and took out an old P.D. Maybe 2001. The screen was covered in hardened dirt. I took out the stylus to scratch it off with the nib. Indigo's gaze was fixed on my eyes. He pulled on my jacket.

"Can I use your jacket?" he lowered his voice and whispered.

"I don't like showing my arms," I mumbled, and took off my jacket anyway, "We should get back home."

"My dad's visiting my mom, today, so we can go to my place."

The sky darkened. Indigo lived in a wooden, two-story house in the same condition as a cabin torn off the ground by a tornado. Doors had giant locks on them instead of a tradition lock in the knob. The floors were all wood, too. He and I sat in his family room on the couch. Just old books and pillows piled up to the ceiling. But the couch was the only sanitized furniture in the house.

His wild hair ticked my nose and neck as he rested his head on my shoulder. It was heavy, so I'm guessing he had a big brain in there. He rummaged through the apps and files on my phone, my personal stuff, but I put up with it.

"I wish I was part of the FBI," he murmured and cuddled me like I was a giant stuffed panda, "We'd have a team of people to solve it for us."

"I said you could take my jacket, not cuddle me," I chuckled under my breath. I don't understand why I laughed at that. I never said I wanted it to stop.

"Girls cuddle with me all the time; you're lucky it's me and not Harper."

"Liar; at least Harper is a girl."

In my head, potential responses bounced around and reached my lips but never spoken. The silence was a puppeteer pulling the strings of my legs to keep jumping and my arms to tremble, uncontrollably. But as this silence lingered, my growing patience depressed.

I've never been in the teacher's lounge. Or at least at this school. Only time was in the first grade by accident. I tidied up my uniform, the same thing Indigo wore when I was in Helix's car. I still think it's odd that, despite us meeting only days ago, I've already stayed over at his place. I pumped out my chest, put my legs together, and kept my hands behind my back. I stepped inside. A long polished, wooden desk in the middle with comfortable cushion chairs. Microwaves and coffee machines in every corner. There was another door with a plaque that read Student Council above it. I walked in and sat down in a beanbag chair in the corner.

"How professional, President," Harper announced from across the room, And out of nowhere like she spawned here in a video game.

"Well, I'm the president and I have complete control over everything that goes on in here," I asserted, and glared back. I've never been in charge of anything, and this was my only chance to make that clear.

"First, we all have a say; you know that! Second—"

She poured in a steaming cup of coffee into a clear, plastic cup and marched over to where I was sitting. She didn't trip over her feet or anything on the carpet, she didn't even miss a beat and moved in perfect harmony. Like I was the piece of meat at the end of maze left for a starving polar bear. From a few feet away, she launched the cup into the air and into my face. Hot coffee basically melting my face off. Of course, I'm exaggerating.

Xander shoved through the door with his back hunched over and his fists clenched up. But he was smiling.

"I'm quitting the role as vice president!" he declared, "Isn't that right, Peirson!"

"We all have to decide!" Harper shouted and grabbed his shirt collar, "And you don't even have a valid reason! Peirson can't make that kind of decision!"

"Everyone, get in your seats!" I screamed. No one reacted and continued to argue with each other. I threw my bean bag chair against Harper's leg and walked out the room.

I stormed out into the math department hallway. But I didn't pass the restroom. I stood up against the brick walls with my face buried in my hands. Every inch of my body was an impending explosion of boiling blood. My vision went double and air escaped my lungs. My chest looked like an inflating balloon. Indigo walked around the corner with the same looking tote back from the day prior. He took my hand.

"Tough day, wasn't it?" he laughed, "Harper, right?"

I grabbed him the shoulders and shoved him into the wall. With my voice still torn and scratched, I begged, "She threw hot coffee in my eyes! Did she always act so psychotic?"

"If you keep acting like this, everyone's going to think our student body president has gone mad!"

"I'm going to talk to her in private."

His faded smile contorted into a scowl. He grabbed my wrists and thrust my arms back down to my side. He shoved past me and marched out the same way he came from. Not even a goodbye. I couldn't tell if his anger was only an act and that I was supposed to read between the lines. I could still feel the sensation of his grasp like I was put in handcuffs and unable to move them. Despite that, I still desired to talk to Harper when the day ended.

Again, I was the fly on the wall. Observing the actions and words of the faceless students around me. Their identity meant nothing to me, only the nonsense complications they stir up for the week, kill off, then create a new situation to occupy their time. This time, I was the observer in the gymnasium. Every prepared, dedicated student did whatever they were told, throwing and kicking the football every time they had to. By my own logic, I am neither prepared or dedicated.

Helix was in the game, and of course was the best player. I kept my eye on him. And he kept his eye on me. Whenever he ran north, the side of the gym I was on, his eyes fixated on mine. And I felt guilty every time I reciprocated. From my arms to my legs to every hair on my body, I stood petrified. The whistle blew, and the students all parted.

"Hey, Peirson!" Helix yelled from the center of the room, "Why aren't you participating?"

"I don't—" I stopped myself before my shouting turned into a shriek.

"What was that?"

"Nevermind!"

Even with my head facing the lower half of the wall, I could still see Helix walking towards me, peripherally. I moved my head around a little and counted on my fingers to give off the illusion that I was thinking about something unrelated. Immediately, once we were breathing the same air, he slammed my back against the wall. His breathing was unsteady, almost like he was choking on thorns. His pupils shrunk to the size of a particle. His claws dug into my chest.

"What your real name?" he demanded.

"Peirson Ralston, you know that!"

"You know how I know you're lying?"

I stared at the floor to escape his devilish gaze. Students turned their heads. I swallowed my hot tears. It was that silence, again. Lifting our head, the tips of our noses touch. My skin was a burning stove top. My legs were gelatin melting under the flaming sun.

"You're not leaving that easily."

My feet wouldn't move up the steps. The door was inches away from my face. I left of the path and circled around the house like a stalking lion. Indigo had my only jacket, so my scrawny arms were exposed to the many onlookers that only existed in my head. Fog washed over me. I stared through the window of the laundry room.

"Mr. Lynch!" I bellowed and banged on the glass, "Is Indigo in there?!"

A stream of thick liquid trickled from my forehead and stained my lips. The world went stagnant as I dropped to my knees. Shards of stones sliced my palms. Trees, bushes, mist, the stones. . . They drifted into space.

Despite me wanting to enter, I didn't want him or his dad to see me, covered in bruises. I could feel my limbs going numb. Or it was all in my head. Someone opened the window. Indigo. He carried a laundry basket and set it on top of the washing machine. He maintained a straight face as he gave me a blank look.

"So, what did Harper say?" he asked, keeping his back facing me as he folded shirts fresh out the dryer.

"I didn't talk to her," I mumbled, "I didn't want to after that."

"After what?"

He turned around, saw my cut up arms and scarred neck. With a face of shock, he grabbed one of the white shirts from the dryer and ran out of the room. In mere seconds, he ran up behind me. He stretched the shirt around my right arm, which bled the most, and tied the ends into a complicated knot. Already, it wasn't holding up, as it began to thin and turn a deep, velvet color.

"It really isn't that bad, Indy," I pulled away.

"You yelled through my window," he stressed, "Clearly, you needed me for something."

I stared back down at the wet grass. His scrutiny created the feeling of authority as if he was critiquing every move I made. Deep down in my gut, I knew that I shouldn't have felt guilty of a backlash that wasn't my intention.

"Are you still mad at me?" I tripped backward from waking from my deep daydream.

"I. . . I wasn't mad. . . I'm just confused about all this," he explained.

"I'll explain ever—"

"I didn't offer to help, then you got beat up because I was selfish and got angry."

He and I gave each other a warm smile. A forced two smiles. It was like a little boy trying to make his mother a Christmas present at the last minute. A weird comparison, but that has happened to me before. His phone vibrated in his pocket and whispered, "It's Xander..."

He held his phone close to his mouth, constantly pressing the volume button to ensure it was mute. His back turned, he faltered his way back inside through the front door, leaving me stranded out in his backyard, leaving me to limp behind him. Childish. The thoughts stuck in the back of my head about what he was planning to do with me. I was okay with limping behind.

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