#but sometimes we just really dont need to

[desire-mona]

siiiigh. todd autism headcanons because im projecting.

(using they/he/she pronouns for todd in this post. will explain but also if u dont agree i dont care, tw for alcoholism. time period is vague but autism hasnt existed as a legitimate medical diagnosis for all that long, so keep it in mind i guess.)

- cannot for the life of him stand welton's blankets. so itchy, just thin enough to not warm you up enough but still make you sweat, not long enough to cover your entire body. yes im making the blanket line in their poem about actual blankets, a boy needs to vent somewhere.

- beyond terrible temperature regulation, ALWAYS just a little too hot which is made worse by her sensory issues when it comes to wet fabric. constant slight agony and it never really goes away. theyre about 5 minutes away from crying about how uncomfortable they are at all times.

- had god awful handwriting until high school, like his teachers could BARELY read his handwriting it was Bad. OOOOOH OH MY GOD THERES A TRAIN GOING BY I CAN HEAR IT HONKING this is a really ironic thing to be pointing out rn but its sooooo worth mentioning. its still honking this is fun. 🚂. anyway. her parents made her spend an entire summer fixing her handwriting bc that was like the One thing her teachers criticised. its Fine now but their motor function simply doesn't deliver in the handwriting department.

- had a VERY INTENSE special interest in aquatic life + marine biology growing up, like read every book about any ocean animal in any library intense. his parents eventually forced him to abandon it because its "not a good career focus" but he still perks up when anyone mentions fish. once talked neils ear off about the biodiversity of coral reefs for roughly 2 hours, neil took her to an aquarium for their first date. rip todd anderson you wouldve loved spongebob squarepants.

- looooves pets, namely cats, but they have Too Sweaty hands all the time so any animal fur sticks onto their hands and just feels. so awful.

- had a brief period in his 20s where he was definitely an alcoholic, started as a social drinker but got too addicted to the feeling of not having to adhere to social conventions quite as hard, especially around other drunk ppl. eventually went sober after they realised they just Cant Stand the feeling of a hangover anymore. autistic ppl r more likely to develop a dependency on alcohol if we do start drinking. just btw.

- gets a Pretty Expansive vocabulary after actually starting to pursue literature. sometimes his family lightly teases him about using big words but it confuses the hell out of him. its just a word she thought would apply best!!

- soooooo obsessed with what other ppls idea of them is, both in an anxious way and out of genuine curiosity. would never ask ppl what they think of her bc she thinks thats 1) very broad 2) seems compliment fish-y and 3) just gonna lead to "i think ur great/ nice/ whatever filler compliment." but the dream is to sit someone (neil) down and just ask him every single question possible about how he perceives him.

- asks a billion clarifying questions about anything someone asks him to do, gets anxious about how many questions he's asking, tries to just figure it out, freaks out about the possibility of getting it wrong, ends up doing the thing perfectly. weekly occurrence.

- never fully grasped the appeal of religion (most definitely grew up catholic or christian or Something) just bc she could NOT let the lack of proof go. ALSO not an atheist bc the vastness of space scares them out of it. religious beliefs r a weird topic for them.

- suppresses a good chunk of his stims in public bc One total time someone looked at him weird while he was chewing on a sweatshirt string and he was like i gotta stop NOW. eventually develops tics and has to mask THOSE in public too. dear god someone let this girl unmask. also i started ticcing while writing that bc my body does this great thing where i only tic when im reminded of the concept of ticcing. its great and totally doesnt make me think im faking them (faking for who? dunno bc it usually happens when im alone)

- DOES in fact stim around neil bc NEIL STIMS TOO!!!!!!!! joyous day when they found THAT out! gets vocal stims of random lines from whatever play neil is practicing for. YEAA ART THOU THEEEEREE was a vocal stim for a solid week and a half which made neil VERY excited (autistic neil. how i love u autistic anderperry)

- velcro is The most evil vile disgusting material to ever grace this mortal realm. he hates it more than anything ever and i mean that fully. the feeling of BOTH sides, the noise, how easily it comes apart, she hates it all.

this is the gender part

never really viewed gender and gender roles as anything to adhere to beyond the fear of punishment if they dont. finds any social convention relating to gender to be Really dumb and meaningless, bc gender isn't (scientifically) real in any capacity, so why treat it like that? for the longest time just shrugged and said "eh, i guess im a boy" bc thats what she was used to being told, and didn't feel particularly drawn to agree OR disagree. eventually realised on a late night that Wait. i dont Actually care what i am. like yeah im a Male i guess but also im just me. my brain doesnt have a gender and i basically am my brain, right? and then never really thought about it again because that's genuinely how little he cares. adhering the most to canon with that mindset, she never really tells anyone (for obvious reasons on top of the overall apathy) and just lets the he/him happen to her but. in my dream world? agender they/he/she todd anderson. and this is MY blog so those are the pronouns im using from now on. i will forever love talking abt how autistic ppl very often view gender differently than allistic ppl, will forever love talking abt how autistic ppl are more likely to be trans. autism!!!

also yes that entire paragraph is just my view of gender, change the pronouns and the todd mentions and its just me. what of it.

#desire mona #YAYYYYYYYY TODD AUTISM POST #do yall want a seperate autistic anderperry hc post cuz i can do that #genderqueer todd i love you so much #dead poets society #todd anderson #anderperry #the todd spectrum #actually autistic #banger

[valsdelulucorner]

Mammon head cannons <3

We all know mammon is tsundere, loving to bottle up his emotions towards his loved ones and put on a act. However whenever you two are alone, his tough guy persona melts away completely and turns into your shy demon boyfriend. He both hates and loves that you have that power over him

He loves to collect little trinkets. Hey, no he didn't steal them!..... most of them. I like to think that he has some really sharp eyes so even if something is really well hidden, he spots it a nicks it. He loves showing off his collection to you, talking a million miles a hour as he holds onto your sleeve and boasts about his new tiny thing

If you were to come down to devildom as a welder or a Jewler, oh lord he will try to marry you on the spot. He absolutely loves to watch you work on your creations, even subjecting little ideas he comes up with for you to make. Sure, at the start he tries to steal your creations to sell them but once he gets closer to you, he absolutely loves bringing you his little trinkets to wield into rings and bracelets

Absolutely loves making nests with his pillows and blankets, spreading his body out on top of his nest in his full demon form. He will act all shy if you find him like this on his nest but when he realizes your not making fun of him, buddy, you are in for a long night of cuddles and deep conversation.

Ok hear me out, when mammon cuddles you, he lets out soft snores that sound like a mix between a purr and the sound a crow makes when its happy. He will hide his face in your neck while cuddling as his arms wrap protectively around your waist, subconsciously purring his little heart out in his sleep as his wings cover you in a protective hold

After having you literally die in his arms that one time, he realized how easily it was for you to slip from his fingers so this man does HEAVY research on humans. What humans cant eat, what irritates their skin, what's best for their health, what food will make them live longer, what temperatures they can withstand, the whole 9 yard. He will always give you a bottle of water at morning, noon, and night and will refuse to go anywhere unless you drink some. If he finds out you haven't been drinking through the day, he will genuinely get scared you will die and beg you to drink. He might have missed a few things but he loves you dearly

He gets bad nightmares about loosing you and those dear to him, they started happening more often after he held your dead body in his arms. He would usualy wake up in a cold sweat and go find lucifer, making sure to poke his head into his little brothers rooms to make sure they are ok before going to find comfort in Lucifer. But with you? He would cling to you and thank anyone who would listen that you were still alive, still next to him. He would hide his face in your neck and quietly cry himself back to sleep, being woken up to immediate comfort from you

He mindlessly doodles when he is bored or if he is focused on something else, like you for example. He likes to admire you during class so sometimes when he's supposed to be taking notes, he will start to subconsciously doodle you in his notebook. He will turn bright red if anyone points this out and he will throw his notebook into the wall, just like that video of the guy throwing his laptop into the wall. Poor guy wont get a break

My man will 100% steal you away from his brothers and just go for a walk with you, it doesn't need to lead to anywhere, he just likes talking and being with you

He calls you his little treasure, his jewel, his first, and most likely a nickname of your actual name. They roll off his tounge so easily, he will accidentally call you these Infront of people. "Stay away from my treasure!" ..... "your what?" " D...DONT AVOID THE QUESTION!"

"I wouldn't trade you for all the grim in the world treasure, you mean more to me then money"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I absolutely love Mammon, he is my favorite character but i dont think this was written to the best of my ability. I might come back to this in the future but until then<3

Who should i do next?

#valsdelulucorner #obey me #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me x mc #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me fanart #obey me nightbringer #obey me mammon #obey me mammon x reader #obey me x you #obey me x y/n #obey me x gender neutral reader #obey me oneshot #obey me headcanons #obey me mammon x mc #obey me mammon x you #obey me boys #obey me fluff #omomtrta #om! mammon #om! mc #om! shall we date #obey me! #om! nightbringer

[ceasarslegion]

The DNI that made you do math to use it?? 👀👀👀

Youre the first one who asked, so you get the answer.

This person was one of the other two weirdos from the Half Life RP discord server i teased at in this post earlier this week:

Once again, i want to disclaimer that this is not a callout post, I will not be giving any details that could be used to identify this person, and I will not be posting screenshots this time because they are still active on tumblr afaik. I dont want this to be used to bully anybody, this is just meant to be my personal experience with my specific side of this story. You can DM me directly or throw in a private answer request in an ask if you want screenshots, but only people i already know and trust not to cyberbully them will get a direct link to the DNI. The person in the story I linked is no longer active anywhere online, which is why I provided screenshots in that story.

And before i lay out the DNI details, I just want to say... there is a FINE LINE between requesting accommodations for a mental illness and infantilizing yourself. I can handle the former just fine, I will do all I can to help, but if you're a grown-ass adult babying yourself and then going "waa im autistic i cant do anything" i have ZERO tolerance for that. Buddy, I'm autistic, and I'm telling you to grow the fuck up.

Yeah, this person was one of those. They were over 18, and had public breakdowns about how everything was just soooo hard for them and everybody else was being problematic and ableist for *checks notes* asking them to wait in a line that was a little long for a new phone plan. Real example, they were screaming and crying in the vent channel because the line at a verizon store was a little long, and implying their father was ableist for asking them to wait for 20 minutes. Buddy, there are some things you JUST need to deal with in the real world regardless of whatever mental soup you have going on. If your autism is that bad, the solution is looking into things like noise canceling headphones, sunglasses, etc. But the world will not stop having lines that you just need to wait in sometimes because you dont like them.

I know that sounds harsh, but they werent exactly the type of person im willing to give the benefit of the doubt to. The majority of their problems were entirely their own fault, and they were clearly enabling and feeding the harder parts of their autism rather than doing anything in the way of learning to cope with it. I am terrified of spiders, like full on panic-inducing terrified of them, but I throw hands at them instead of running or freezing up. One time, I posted a photo of this gigantic-ass spider that was in my dorm room after I screamed and squashed it with my heavy duty winter outdoor patrol boots (im a security guard, not a cop, before anyone draws the wrong conclusion from that), and they proceeded to vague about me IN THE SAME SERVER about how problematic and insensitive i am for triggering their arachnophobia. My brother in christ when did you ever say you were triggered by spiders? Do you expect me to read your fucking mind?

Another instance was when they asked for the role to access the nsfw channel. They were over 18, so it was granted. They then got mad at us whenever we got horny on main in the sex channel because they were only there for the dirty jokes (that were posted in the main server anyway because none of us consider JOKES to be inappropriate). They literally asked for the sex channel role and then claimed we were being problematic because we talked about sex in the sex channel when they were uncomfortable with sex. And they had borderline puritan attitudes around sex. They acted like sex was icky and gross and should never be discussed around them lest it corrupt their pure innocent soul. Yeah thats your own fault chief, grow the fuck up.

Some lightning round stories: they broke up with their boyfriend purely because he liked "irredeemable media" and when said boyfriend said they were being a total dick for that, they proceeded to whine and cry that he was actually being abusive and terrible for being upset that he was dumped over the fucking movies he liked of all things. They once sat outside their little siblings recital and complained that their parents were problematic for not charging their switch enough because it died at the same recital they couldnt be assed to sit in for because "waaaa its too boring and thats bad for my autism." Didnt even TRY, just sat outside the door playing switch and then complained that their parents didnt charge their switch enough. Can you not plug something into a wall your damn self.

Needless to say, i didnt like them very much. I can handle legitimate accommodations, but they were just so self-infantilising that they gave the rest of us a bad name. Your autism is not an excuse to act like a fucking baby. You are not made of porcelain, you will not shatter at the slightest touch, being uncomfortable is a part of life youre going to have to deal with. Its not your autism at this point, youre a grown-ass adult who throws a tantrum when the line is a little long. GROW. UP.

Now that that rants over, lets get into what the DNI on their blog was like, because this behavior from them that I just outlined really contextualizes it.

Their DNI had two tiers. The first was "red flags," which meant that if you met any one of them you apparently werent allowed to interact. Of this included your typical nazis, pedophiles, terfs, and... beastars fans. No word of a lie. Being a fan of beastars was apparently just as bad as being a nazi. What did my boy legosi do to you? (Side note: i am forever enamored with how these people seem to think that theres people out there who both self-identify as nazis and would respect a DNI. I didnt even respect that DNI. I didnt interact with them because i thought they were a terrible person, but i did not take that DNI seriously. I was openly posting about beastars in the same server LMAO) and it wasn't just beastars, there was a ton of media that i didnt even know had discourse around them that they listed as red flags if you ever touched. Amazing.

The second tier was "yellow flags" which meant that you werent allowed to interact if you met any 3 or more of them. Here was mostly media, including homestuck fans, neil gaiman fans (WHAT DID NEIL DO TO YOU), and harry potter iirc. (WHY DID YOU SINGLE OUT BEASTARS?? WHAT DID MY BOY LEGOSI DO TO YOU) my favourite part of this though, was that republicans were listed under yellow flags. Apparently its worse to be a beastars fan than a republican. We arent gonna fucking make it

#ramblings

[pa-pa-plasma]

hey i feel like we're really sleeping on that time Danny possessed Vlad & framed him for assaulting a minor

Editing with the clip because people don't believe me. Episode is 41: Eye for an Eye.

#Danny Phantom #i think this ties into my other post i made a long time ago about Danny siccing the GIW on Vlad #like we KNOW in CANON that if Danny was even a tiny bit more like Vlad he would literally become a supervillain #villain is such a stupid word i hate how it's spelled. why is it like that #anyways i need to like. rewatch DP cuz i remember shit & then i'm like #did that actually happen. because that sounds too insane #but like. he Did That. didnt he #i think that's what i love about this character. but a lot of people ignore it #Danny is like. gritting his teeth going ''do good do good'' it isnt effortless it isnt easy he doesnt even want to do it half the time #& sometimes yeah he WILL do crimes or get back at people who've been assholes to him or whatever #he WILL use his powers for bad sometimes #he'll be like ''dont do that it's bad'' but like. he WILL do it himself #the whole ''i'm a hero'' thing he's got going on is like. more of a. how do i put this #it's like when you're drawing or writing & saying ''it doesnt have to be perfect it just has to BE'' #like Danny isn't a hero sometimes. he's got morals & has a general understanding of good & bad #but also he's 14 & being attacked every day #i would start saying bad words & threatening people that annoy me too man #okay i glanced over the scene again for the first time in years & Danny was literally in the middle of outing Vlad to the whole town??? #hello?? are we really ignoring this????? #VLAD TORNADO VLAD TORNADO VLAD TORNADO #this show is so stupid i love it #love how Sam & Tucker immediately backed him up yeah fuck Vlad all my homies hate Vlad #okay you know what. maybe i will do a DP liveblog. i think it would be fun #on daddyplasmius. only posting this on pa-pa-plasma cuz it's kind of just a. weird rant post? kind of? idk

[moeblob]

What if I straight up didn't explain myself? What if I just said trust me on this? Would you?

#fe warriors three hopes #mercedes von martritz #miklan anschutz gautier #we really only need to clarify this is STRICTLY warriors miklan and i think ive already condemned myself but i accept it #i am very sorry but the person i usually would talk to about rare pairs has been a bit busy so i couldnt go to them to get it out that way #so art is the only way i have you have to understand its not my fault (its my fault) #did you guys know i reset the azure gleam map three times before googling the chapter where he dies to try and save him #no i dont think he deserves to be pardoned for what hes done but i liked that w3h gave him a small chance to be better FOR HIMSELF #no i dont think he should simply be forgiven for everything he did but i do like that he was given humanity and how #he was still not a good guy but damn you guys i think about that npc sometimes #who says that they admired him becoming something despite being a criminal bc if miklan can do it whats stopping them from being better ? #like that npc stuck with me a while ok #just ......... there are a lot of thoughts here that i dont think many of you care to read even in tags so ill stop now #i will say the canvas is saved as speed run to cancellation lesgo

[moonshynecybin]

Hi! I have been thinking about Marc and the ways he expresses his anger... giving the cold shoulder... the silent treatment if you will (he will speak ABOUT vale but not TO vale let alone WITH vale)... need your input please....

hmm good question.... this got. STUPID long sorry

uhhh marc is, in general, good at keeping his (negative) emotions in check. like i think marc loooooves to think of himself on track as a mature, controlled, and rational dude. above distraction. a killer. a cyborg. idk his dad has talked about how he doesnt really complain much about injury and there's also allll these stories about what a mature kid he was... so i think that when he was young - ESPECIALLY in a racing sense because he was so much younger than most of the people he was competing against - he internalized that in order to do all the stuff he wants to do racing-wise, he reallyyyy has to keep a level head and not well. act his age! and i think that extends to a lot of how he manages his emotions today (at least in a public setting). even in places where im pretty sure hes PISSED (sepang. phillip island 2013.) he just kind of. visibly contains himself. not a confrontational dude in the outright sense he'll clench his jaw and try to work through it.

which is part of what makes his valentino-oriented crazy so interesting. bc people were noticing that marc in 2015 was kind of. being weird. as his and valentino's relationship deteriorated. like they were both outwardly very much like we can keep it on track :) until the big fallout towards the end of the year but uhhhh. well marc has said that vale started pulling back in september of 2014 like he was noticing SOMETHING, and they clashed on track A LOT in 2015, and i think marc sensed vale cooling on him and freaked a lil. hashtag neurotic 22 year old moments. he is my favorite crazy ex girlfriend. like usually he IS good at separating that stuff out and managing his emotions in the racing sense but in assen that year when vale overtook him off track after they made contact he raised a BIG stink with race direction and actually had some uh. not especially chill quotes about it. (it should be noted marc was also flopping for the first time in his motogp career. like in his brain he stopped winning AND vale stopped talking to him he was goin through it) adn all the reporters noticed too they were like. why werent you sucking and fucking in parc ferme. like vale's left turn wrt to spaniard sabotage comes outta nowhere but people WERE noticing that things were changing. i bet marc noticed too. BUT they are not the type of people to talk about these things so they keep it to vague flirting in presscons and escalating on-track tension slash proxy wars waged in race-direction contexts... liek truly you are 22 you are not going to keep your championship title and your hot sports idol bestie is no longer flirting with you on twitter and you COULD just talk to him about that but you'd rather DIE so youre going to ask honda to back you up to race direction about your last race where you DEFINITELY lost bc winning is the ONLY thing thatll make you feel better. even though thatll help convince your hot sports idol that you are engaging in a benedict arnold level betrayal scheme against him. an insane time to be marc marquez. 2015 really kind of is a study on how both of them handle losing: NOT WELL.

and then the thing about sepang is that then the lid is blown clean off and marc spends the ENTIRE race being annoying on purposeeeee. hes so fucking pissed and hurt at valentino that he decides to get under his skin for REALSIES instead of focusing on his race. like idk he probably would have fought hard for the win without the drama that how he works but uh. i think he was being annoying specifically to bite at vale's edges. and part of that is bc marc is naturally and effortlessly annoying. but i think part of it was SPITE. like his team advised him not to speak on anything from that presscon and he didnt, but he can still fuck him over on track. get under his skin. like he cant tell vale to his FACE that he's angry and confused and hurt. but he CAN let him know on that fucking racing line. where he cant be ignored. idk like i cant see marc letting anyone else get under his skin like that.

AND another big ass exception to the marc marquez anger management philosophy is from misano 2019 where vale messes with his qualifying lap. a lovely anon sent me some videos of marc talking to the press and jesus christ i dont think ive ever seen him angrier oh my god. AND the anon also linked the race from that weekend where he won and he celebrated harder than ive seen him celebrate some TITLE wins like he went. notably nuts. the commentators were all like uhhhh. he mustve REALLY wanted to get one over on vale adjfhlkdh... idk if any of this answered your question but his relationship to his emotions fascinates me hes so weirddddd. and its interesting to me that he can shrug off jorge ruining his last race at honda and be friendly but also be like. kind of aloofly pissed at bezz. because of valentino! he can repress the rest of it, but valentino shines through the cracks.

#its interesting bc theres also this tension with him where he keeps all of this tightly controlled and then he also REALLY wants you to know #about it. like in his docuseries hes like okay i know we have to talk about valentino :/ which is CRAZY bc he is producing that series #and its about his comback from injury. he could have EASILY left it out but he wanted to set the record straight #and also pull the punch/make it seem like hes no longer invested by saying he doesnt wanna talk about it #idk i think he was smart to keep his mouth shut in sepang 2015 but it CLEARLY cost him #like i think his own reservedness confines him sometimes and he chafes. and it bubbles out. like marc dont you just wanna go apeshit. #anyways this isnt even my entire marc and anger thesis like i need to go back to grad school lmao #callie speaks #motogp #asks #marc marquez #rosquez #tbh. i should just write some fic. hmm. #long post

[oceanwithouthermoon]

THANK YOU. YOU GET ME FR. teruhashi is literally the kindest person ever and people misinterpreted her so bad free my girl ☹️

i left this in my inbox for a long time on accident and have no idea what the context was but yesss so true 😜 i think its really funny how people have somehow twisted "girl who knows she's gorgeous and uses that fact to her advantage, has never actually said anything mean about anyone ever" as "disgusting whore who manipulates everyone around her, secretly believes all her friends are ugly and stupid, and is genuinely completely unloveable" ☠️

#misogynists r so funny sometimes <3 they hate to see a girlboss winning #i also think its really funny how people call her relationships and her crush on saiki superficial #like yea she isnt in LOVE with him.. shes literally a teenage girl with her first crush #it doesnt need to be that deep idk why people try to force this agenda that a person cant have a crush on someone they dont know that well #that doesnt make it fake- shes just naive #thats literally what crushes are actually LMAO #and that fact was literally spoonfed to the audience like we didnt even need to guess #people jump through so many hoops just to say shes a fake unlovable bitch LMAO #miko didnt know him at all when she said she loved him- its just what teens with crushes do! #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #teruhashi kokomi #meows post

[mokeonn]

Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.

#simon says #to explain here and not in a reblog: #sometimes when you try to explain big picture solutions you're gonna sound dumb #you might not have done enough research #you might not have a rebuttal to a counter argument #you might not be articulate enough to explain why you think this #sometimes you gotta take a step back and give the simple solution. the one man solution #you do what you can to fight against the problem #you talk to people to help spread awareness and how to fight the bad problem #and you vote and invite others to vote for bigger steps towards solving the problem #like you can talk about theory and how you believe we need to do a huge drastic thing to solve and issue #but people will disagree and argue til you're blue in the face #they'll poke and prod until you mess up or lose your temper and use it against you #and you'll feel dumb and they'll learn nothing #sometimes the best thing to do is step away from the big picture and just say 'idk what the solution is I just know the things I can do“ #sometimes you gotta admit you're not a scientist/expert and you can't answer that #i used this while talking with my Dad tonight #he brought up our climate crisis and space travel as a possible solution #and I said I think that's just addressing the symptom and not the cause and we need to care for our Earth now #and he asked me what solutions I think would fix it #and knowing my incredibly smart Dad who is articulate and ready to throw rebuttles at a moments notice to play devils advocate #and my past experience in struggling in this topic with him before #i just told him I didn't know. all i knew is the little things I can and do do to help #and that hopefully by spreading the word and habits and encouraging others to vote for those bigger solutions I could help make a change #but all I really could do is the little things I have control over #and the topic became much less stressful about the little things we have control over #like planting native plants and recycling and adopting habits that are healthier to our planet #which was 100% more preferable to if I tried to give a big solution. because I would reveal i didn't have all the knowledge needed to argue #and my articulation would make me sound like a stupid kid who only thinks they know what's best #so yeah I basically suggest that if you dont wanna feel like shit after debating someone just step away from the big picture for a moment

[caruliaa]

just bc im a lesbian doesnt mean tht i wont at times become deeply entranced with the beauty of male actor or character. it just means i wld rather be locked in a room with a man with a knife than do anything romantic or sexual with one

#NO OFFENCE TO MEN AS PEOPLE THAT EXIST. but also i shldnt have to say tht after saying this yk #also b4 u say ooh ur aro tho why do u need to specifcy u wldnt do anything romantic w a man when i wldnt with a woman either #i am actually pretty romance favorable. like i would be in a romantic relationship with a woman if it wldnt ruin my life #with how it is rn . i think i like and want all the parts tht make up a romantic relationship i just dont experince romantic attraction #but anyway i was here to talk abt my sexuality not my romantic orientation #this post was originally like 'im remembering why there was such a huge overlap with my og major starkid hyperfixation #and me identifing as bisexual' but the thing is is the main main guy from starkid i remember being attracted too #was infact . rob. and thats aged badly bc of it being revealed that hes a fucking creep since then #but also just now not that we should ignore tht but regardless of that i just. dont see it at all #maybe it is that news subconsiously turning me off him but i really dont see that much what i liked abt his appearance #but who rly inspired this post to me is infact . jeff blim ? which is suprising just from the fact tht i dont ever remember #having tht big of a crush on him with that og starkid hyperfixation. but well he is a very beautiful man . giggling a little bit. sorry . #also becoming a bit obsessed with joey richter but thts just standard lesbian obssesion with a weird little man #not attractive to me im just obssesed with him. hi #also posting this now so when i finally watch the fnaf movie i can rb it abt josh hutcherson #anyway. does anyone read these tags do these long rants i go on like. turn ppl off of my posts. sometimes i wonder #flappy rambles

[thestarofcottonland]

i pray my bf never finds out how friendless i am its so embarrassing . i havent been sad about it in a long time. but i kinda am tonight

#i have coworkers i get along really well with but i dont feel any way i can connect with them outside of work nor do i feel they want to #i have ghosted every guy friend online because they were more like guys that hit on me and sometimes we talked about games #and ive been okay since then with just my bf. but sometimes on my days off when hes busy. i feel really alone #i dont want to be isolated but i always end up this way.....i wish i had girl friends....v_v #and as per my post im obviously not going to tell my bf im struggling with my loneliness lol hell no....ill just get over it by tomorrow... #i go to work and it takes my mind off everything else #need some hobbies need to get lost in something on my off days #squeaks

[spearxwind]

.

#question... has anyone of you with neighbors ever had your attention called over making noise bc it happened for me yesterday and i feelbad #it was 100% our fault it was really late and we didnt realize so the neighbors #hit the ceiling hard a few times but theh hit it a lot so they were clearly pretty mad 😥 #obviously we're not going to do that again but like. irrationally terrified that they hate me cause i make noise sometimes #its also jarring bc I've always lived alone so I've always been extremely quiet almost like a ghost but its so much easier to make noise #if you're with someone else #god does this make sense?? augh. i just needed to vent a little #this is actually the second time we get a notice like that but over something else and now im worried babey!! what if the neighbourhood #kicks me out or something!! augh (this cant happen i dont think especially not about smth like this but like auuuggghhg panic) #I just dont wanna be a bad neighbour man

[thedevotionaltour]

even for period typical ableism it still drives me nuts for karen to go oh poor matt how can he deal and get around as if he hasn't been blind most of his life at this point and living on his own by himself as an adult for his entire adult life after college and has also lived in the city his whole life like girl use your damn brain he can get around by himself just fine. good god. like take five seconds to use your brain. literally adult man who lives by himself if nothing else that should tell you he is fine and when he needs assistance has the knowledge and ability to go get it you act as if he can't even walk on the sidewalk by himself. he literally shows up to work by himself. it drives me up the wall sometimes how she sees proof of him functioning fine independently literally witnesses it on the daily and still thinks these things. like again foggy isn't great either bc again the period typical ableism (and just general ableism in the world outside of this period as this is a common attitude of viewing disabled people as helpless and unable to function even if they are people who do live independently (and im not touching on people who do need extra support and caretaking in this context. as this post is about these characters in the context of a story. so im talking about what we see there instead of any truly meaningful nuanced way) but the writing here is like. Particularly this way due to the time) he has a modicum more of understanding that matt is literally a capable grown adult man. literally told karen matt is a big boy who can handle himself and then karen went b-b-but you forget he's blind as if foggy hasn't known him for years of his life and is his best friend like PLEASE SEE HIM AS AN ADULT. I AM GOING TO GO INSANE. PLEASE RESPECT HIM IF YOU LOVE HIM SO DEARLY. AND EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T. JUST RESPECT HIM AS A PERSON!!!!!!

#i think it's particularly maddening bc we have seen characters be able to understand civillian matt is like. more than just Blind Man. #i am always highly aware of period typical writing and can remember the context etc etc but sometimes. #sometimes it truly. truly does drive me up the wall. especially when other characters have been capable of not being That Level #of infantalizing. again foggy still isn't much better in a lot of respects he is just as capable of and has been as infantilizing #and insulting as karen has been. for sure. on multiple occassions. no questions asked. but i dont think he does it to the extent karen does #as in we dont see it on page just as much. it's just a bit less. so we see karen focus on it far more. to an almost exaggerated extent #part of that is the romance plot of ohhh i cannot possibly love a blind man while foggy is matt;s best friend of many years #so of course it will be in the way of the stan lee and old romance comics schools of writing that this goes down and is written like this. #of course we see her focus on it a touch more in a different way bc she's still getting to know matt and hasnt witnessed him #for about like a decade(? they met in undergrad right?) function on his own the way foggy has. but jesus christ man. good god. #at a certain point even with the period time context it does just still leave a bad taste. at certain points it becomes less eye roll #and far more maddening and hard to push down. bc it is gross. no matter what time period it is. #again. both of them are pretty disrespectful towards matt about it at this point even if mostly in their inner monologues or dialogues #with each other and not super to matt's face about it every time. but still. sometimes karen drives me far more crazy about it than foggy. #becase at least foggy can in fact recognize every now and then. matt is a perfectly capable grown man who can function and thrive. #and is someone who lives independently but also can know how to get assistance when needed. #while karen at this point has never really once given matt the benefit of that assumption despite witnessing his capabilities. #because even with his act of trying to fit the image ppl have of him. he still functions within that! and shows he can do things! #and ask for help when he needs it! even within his act of making himself smaller and quieter for others. #he's still like. adult man who lives his life. and does stuff on his own time. #i cant really speak about matt on any more deeper level than that in regards to his disabilities. i am not disabled. #i only speak as a reader and someone watching what these characters do and have proven to be able to do and how they act. #so i can only talk about karen and foggy's behaviors and attitudes in that regard. #and also as a person with like. basic understanding of other ppl living their lives. that all ppl live their own damn lives however it is #like most ppl on planet earth. #i apologize if any of my wording here is bad or if i dont talk on it well as none of this in the real world stuff is my lived experience #and you are free to go hey. incorrect. think about that or word that differently. #ok i promise im done now it's just. EUGH. UGH!!!!! #static.soundz

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 124

aint that just the way though huh

#year 4 #it me #short version my grandma went to the er last week bc she was feeling ill #suspected it to be some long covid side effects. they put her on fluids & nutrition for most of the week #saturday she was scheduled to go home #mere hours before her discharge she fell and broke her hip #so she had surgery to repair it the following day #but post op she couldnt bear to eat anything and was very tired #so they did more tests #turns out shes like. terminally ill #in a kind of vague and nonspecific way related to being Just Very Old And Frail #but there is very definitely some stuff going on inside her that WILL eventually kill her #we just dont know when exactly #but we though maybe itd be sometime this week #but today she seemed to be rallying so now we are like #okay well do we send her to rehab for her hip or does she need to stay in like a more robust care facility #and its simply a whole thing #and we would really like for her to be able to go home before she dies so she can have unlimited access to her dog #who she loves very much and who is not allowed in the hospital #idk it is just ROUGH. not unexpected but on top of the other shit that has happened this year? #my aunt recovering from brain surgery still #my dog being very old and fragile #my fucking hamster died #its just a lot!!! #cw death #cw pet death #cw animal death #cw terminal illness #day 124

[koheletgirl]

no but you don't understand all the season 1 episode names end with an exclamation mark because she is excited and super in denial! she wants her life to be better, she literally tries to force it to be better! she is making the most impulsive irresponsible choices and she does not let anything stop her! she is going to be happy and she is going to be happy now!!!

she is in denial about josh -- but she is even more in denial about her mental state! that's why all the episodes have josh's name in them!!! she can, under certain conditions, admit that this is in fact about josh, but she will literally almost die before she admits that it's actually about her own mental health! and then in season 2, she is starting to doubt everything! every episode name ends with a question mark!!!! but they all! still! have! josh's! name! in! them!!! she is spiraling! the story she's been telling herself isn't convincing anymore!

and then she can't keep pretending. she can't keep pretending that she isn't obsessed with josh, she can't keep pretending that that's not why she's here, she can't keep pretending she's not crazy. the episode titles now end with a period. but she can still pretend that it's about josh.

until she can't.

but recovery isn't linear. so for one episode, it's not about josh. but then it becomes about nathaniel, and we go back to exclamation points. and it's still better, but rebecca can't go from where she was to perfectly healthy in just a few episodes. she still has a long way to go.

and then we get "trent?!", which forces her to confront with everything she's done. it's a name, and it's a question mark, and it's an exclamation mark, and it's an episode that in a way turns the narrative on its head. it's not an episode about trent, it's an episode about rebecca. from josh's perspective. from the perspective of the people she's hurt. and in the end she understands it. and nathaniel becomes irrelevant.

and in season 4, nothing is certain. the names have open endings. everything is in progress. and it's about her

#and dont get me started on the theme songs #sorry for writing all of this as if it's not obvious #it just drives me crazy sometimes #lying in my bed making myself insane by thinking about cxg episode titles. again #cxg #crazy ex girlfriend #🤎 #it's also worth noting that all the s4 titles have I's in them #bc one of the things rebecca needs to deal with that season is how self absorbed she is #and it doesn't really get resolved bc we are not telling a neatly wrapped up story. we're with rebecca until she doesn't need us anymore #anyway. #100

[socksandbuttons]

when i made an underrem 'height' chart BUT theyre like smallified versions SO I CAN DRAW THEM BETTER AND CONSISTANTLY THUS NOT A VERY USEFUL CHART.

#like i can tell u how tall dream is vs asgore undyne is slightly shorter than dream #alphys and nightmare are around the shortest (not including the children) #muffet is JUST slgihtly taller than them. TSIURIS HEIGHT IS AN ENIGMA SOMETIMES WE'LL GET TO HER LATER #gaster???????? MY AVERAGE MAN??? good LUCK me #grillby has yet to even be in this au by the way hes not EVEN HERE i dont what to do with him yet so #(more designwise i mean. i dont need a story for him in this i have ENOUGH) #mettaton is like... maybe average sized i dont KNOW hes short than dream and undyne taller than muffet and MMM #WE DONT HAVE NUMBERS BTW U JUST HAVE TO G U ES S #its just cause im bad with heights so. i need a comparison to understand Tallness #anyway um i dont what brought this up i think i was thinking of something else #i really should share undyne or something cause i love her casual outfit cause HELLO beautiful lady THAR SHE BE #alyphs has every right to crush on her are U KIDDING #muffet is so proud of that woman (but also impressed how oblivious she can be about the swooning ladies) #underrem #goes in the tag because im just typing things now

[genderjester]

It truly is nobody's fault but my brain has such a deeply annoyed kneejerk response when someone overexplains something very simple i already know to me. Even if i know they mean well. But it always makes me feel like the other person sees me as childish or stupid 💀 Same with some ways some ppl go awww at me like im not a dog. Anyways this is something i just need to figure out how to communicate but its just something that frustrates meeeeeee.

#nobody on here obviously i wouldnt post this here if that was the case #also. one person where its like weve seen each other a few times in group settings and we hung out twice just us two #and i like this person but. #respectfully. sometimes she acts just a bit overfamiliar in a way that grinds. my gears. and this is my responsibility to communicate obv #but for a minute i need to vent my frustration on here asbngnsk #its just kinda. i know its meant well when shes like oh u can always call me if youre feeling depressed and stuff. #and i appreciate the gesture #but also. gonna be real. we're not really at the point where im like comfortable spilling my heart #and idk. i dont need aww🥺 when i feel depressed im not sad depressed im angry and empty and frustration depressed #anyways that is it for me complainingggg #it's my job to communicate these things. #bc obv ppl cant intuit these things if i dont tell them #and tbh its also. week before my period so my brain is extra cranky. but idk i just. as i said. needed to vent some feelings. sigh #sel talks