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#but still its pretty recent so i was surprised at its placement
snakes-and-fluff · 3 months
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Whenever I try to make a Milgram song ranking I agonize over my placements for way too long, so instead I'm making a list of which prisoner's song I prefer for each one (main trial songs only... for now) ((this is ranking them primarily on the songs themselves, not taking MVs into account))
Haruka: It's a very, very close call and it's flip-flopped for a while but my final decision is Weakness. All-Knowing and All-Agony is also very good though.
Yuno: Umbilical. I don't even like Umbilical but Tear Drop is just so boring to me that it wins more or less by default.
Fuuta: Backdraft. Though Bring It On has grown on me a lot more recently, it can't beat the certified banger that is Backdraft.
Muu: It's Not My Fault. To be honest I'm not super attached to either, but I do prefer it to After Pain by a significant margin (even though After Pain was the first Milgram song I saw).
Shidou: So, funny story: Throw Down remains the only Milgram song I fully zoned out of on my first watch. As such Triage would take it by default, but even on its own it stands up pretty well.
Mahiru: I Love You, mostly because I'm still so surprised by her rap but she really sells it well! I do like TIHTBILWY, but I find it gets a little repetitive.
Kazui: I know a lot of people put half really low down on rankings for being too slow but I really love it - one of my favs of Trial 1! With all that being said, Cat still takes it here, being the pure bop that it is.
Amane - Magic. I don't like The Purge March opening with spoken verse (while I do understand and respect the decision, I don't like how it sounds as a full song with that) and while I do like its ending it's just not that good to listen to for me.
Mikoto: MeMe. Other spots on rankings may differ but I consistently consider MeMe to be my #1 pick for T1 songs. In comparison, Double has too many abrupt starts and stops for me to listen to it nicely as a song by itself.
Kotoko: Deep Cover. This one was pretty hard; Harrow is really good but the thing that puts Deep Cover just a little ahead of it for me is single-handedly that ending where she puts so more much emotion into the singing.
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monstaxdirtywonk · 1 year
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Jimin's birth chart (with birth time/houses)
Hey everyone! I saw on Twitter that Jimin recently mentioned his birth time but he didn't clarify am or pm. After taking a look at both possible charts, I vote for the am one. This was unexpected because 11:58 pm actually makes him a cancer rising and I've thought he was one for the longeeeest time but I think 11:58 am makes more sense overall and I'm gonna share why later on. Keep in mind this still can't be official so yes take this as a disclaimer I guess.
Highlights: north node in the 10th house, 10th house stelium, Gemini moon, Scorpio Venus and Mars, Jupiter in the 12th, Neptune in the 1st, Libra MC, Sun conjunct MC.
Air dominance in the big 3
So Jimin has a libra sun, Gemini moon and Sagittarius rising (if his birth time is accurate indeed). Those 3 signs are known for their independence and self reliable outlook when it comes to life. Gemini moon people can be very witty, intelligent and intellectuals but they are also prone to being moody or overly realistic when it comes to matters of the heart. I do think that Jimin has a softer nature than what his big 3 would suggest which made me think of a cancer rising, but I think it's gonna all make sense later. As a Sagittarius rising, Jimin is very curious about the world, he loves learning and exploring. He is someone thoughtful when it comes to life and the lessons that we learn from our experiences. From my pov, it seems like namjoon and jimin are pretty close, and it's not surprising since namjoon has a Sagittarius moon! Moon-rising positive aspects are chef's kiss.
10th house stelium in Sun, Venus and North Node
Aka the most I'm gonna be a major celebrity thing I've ever seen in a chart 😂 10th house placements are associated with fame, because the 10th house is associated with our life path and career. If someone has planets that they fall under the 10th house, sometimes they can suggest what you might be known for! The sun feels so good in the 10th house because they have very similar energies. The sun is all about leading, making a statement, being SEEN and it's under the 10th house? You were meant to shine sweetheart. It's also in his Venus, Venus being the planet of love, beauty and ARTS. Guess we know Jimin for all those things, aren't we? But the best placement to have it imo is the north node. The north node isn't a planet or an asteroid but a point that's always across your South node. South node is about our previous life (for those that believe in that) while north node can reveal our aspirations for this life, what we're more inclined to do, experiences and lessons for our current life. His current life is all about fame and his life path. But another thing I'd like to point out is that there is an abundance of fame indicators or career related ones which means that its a very crucial part of his life. Overall all this needs some balance and he does need some privacy with his Scorpio Venus and Mars too.
Scorpio Venus and Mars
Boohaha as if one Scorpio placement wasn't enough lmao. Scorpio in Venus is a notoriously bad placement (although I'd like to disagree) because the scoprio energy can be too intense for the gentle and soft nature of Venus. Meanwhile the second ruler of scoprio is Mars so it feels right at home there. He doesn't have a venus-mars conjunction exactly (because the degrees don't allow it) but we can all agree that he definitely gets his alluring side from the venus-mars positive aspect he has. I feel like Jimin has an one of a kind beauty that I've never seen in kpop before (he isn't even my bias lmao). His beauty is ethereal (we will see later why that is), sensual, pretty and mysterious all at the same time. Aphrodite's favorite son be like. Jimin likes to keep matters of his heart private or share them only with close friends. Love feels special only when it's secretive. He likes being trusted by others and when someone reveals their hidden or even darker sides of themselves to him. Despite his libra placements making him a peace maker that enjoys being well liked by others, when he gets mad, he gets mad!
Jupiter in the 12th
Jupiter is ruled by Sagittarius so it's a very lucky placement! It is his chart ruler as well if his rising is in Sagittarius indeed! Jupiter is a benefic planet and it expands traits. His Jupiter is in the 12th house, which is a very spiritual house. Actually the 12th house has a bad reputation in astrology because it's about the subconscious and illusions, but this is probably lessen with Jupiter's help. Also his chart ruler falling under the 12th house, is one aspect that might give him this ethereal look but the most important is....
Neptune in the 1st
The it girl/boy placement ladies and gentlemen! Neptune is the planet of dreams and illusions, it's all about the otherworldly and whimsical things. It being in the 1st, gives his looks an ethereal touch. Also Pisces rising and a Neptune in the 1st are great placements for models or idols because it makes someone a chameleon. Jimin is able to transform through their different concepts. You know how each Era a member looks their best? For Jimin it seems like most of the comebacks fit him like a glove. He is able to do bright, cute, dark or sexy concepts so effortlessly!
Libra in the Midheaven
Libra in the midheaven can suggest things about someone's life path/career and it being related to beauty or law. For Jimin it seems to be the first 😂 great placement for models especially, makeup artists, fashion designers etc. Jimin according to the members loves fashion so its very fitting.
Sun conjunct Midheaven
As if he didn't have enough placements to make him a star lmao. I find this particularly accurate because this is a great aspect to have! The sun makes us 'seen' and he is seen in his field, admired by coworkers and someone others look up to because they admire him or they want his guidance. Both are accurate for Jimin. Despite his young age many younger idols admire him and his accomplishments! What a star 🌟.
For astrology ships or chart readings DM me (5-10 USD)
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arminreindl · 8 months
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Ultrastenos: Narrow Snouted Mekosuchine?
So this one comes with a pretty big disclaimer. Ultrastenos, evenmoreso than any other mekosuchine, is incomplete and enigmatic. Whereas animals like Mekosuchus at least bolster a long research history or at least somewhat complete remains of specific body parts, Ultrastenos is both new and fragmentary. This, combined with ongoing research, means that this reconstruction is just a preliminary one based on current publications and should not be taken as gospel.
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Ultrastenos is best known through assorted skull fragments and crania, notably part of the quadrate and quadratojugal, the occiput (back of the skull), an incomplete lower jaw, misc. postcrania like a tibia and vertebrae and some referred skull tables.
Already we enter some weirdness as the type material all stems from the Low Lion Site of the Riversleigh WHA, while the skull tables are from the White Hunter Site (also Riversleigh). Tho they are roughly of the same age, both being late Oligocene, but they are still different localities.
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As is apparent both from my recon and the mandible, the lower jaw of Ultrastenos constricted weirdly rapidly, broad at the back and yet narrow towards the front (thus its name, which just means "extremly narrow").
A key issue here is that we don't know how long the rostrum was. We only have it up to the fourth-last tooth, so how long the snout would have continued we don't know. The idea that the snout was short has been entertained, but is deemed unlikely given that the mandible is very shallow. This would instead be more in line with long-snouted animals like gharials.
Size is another point of question. The type material is very small, only about two meters is what I recovered and the paper notes it's "only about as big as a freshwater crocodile", which matches fairly well I'd say. But it is not known whether or not the specimen was actually an adult, so we may find larger individuals in the future.
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Which brings us to the disclaimer.
In 2023's "Migrations, diversifications and extinctions: the evolutionary history of crocodyliforms in Australasia", the confusion and uncertainty of Ultrastenos is once more brought up. Some of what is written is what you'd expect, which is that it's enigmatic and the interpretations of Stein et. al. need more research. Logical so far, its undeniably fragmentary and the interpretation is undeniably speculative. The fact that its phylogenetic placement among mekosuchines is a mess is likewise not a surprise. The original tree differs A LOT from more recent results, while the only other tree that included Ultrastenos is that of Rio and Mannion, which I generally avoid personally.
But the interesting nugget is that apparently, a close relative has been found since then which might have a big impact. But this research is still in prep courtesy of Adam Yates (who I've been told will publish the description of the Alcoota Baru soon enough). So will my recon become obsolete? Probably. But I'll update it accordingly once the time comes.
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But lets briefly let go of safety and scepticism and consider the possibility that it really was a long-snouted mekosuchine. Aside from some of the anatomical clues like the shallow mandible, sameish teeth and narrow snout, a longirostrine croc would be expected, from the region, would it not? After all, long snouts evolved many times separately in crocs and despite having an incredibly diverse croc fauna, Australia is shockingly lacking in those. The only examples currently known are the Miocene Harpacochampsa, the Pliocene to Pleistocene Gunggamarandu and the current freshwater crocodile. The former two are gharials the later a crocodylid.
Furthermore, the White Hunter Site, if you remember prior posts, was positively teeming with mekosuchines of all different niches. Large semi-aquatic predators like Baru, small semi-aquatic ones like "Baru" huberi and terrestrial forms like Mekosuchus and Quinkana. So to fit in, Ultrastenos must have done something differently, and conveniently a longirostrine nische is still open. So why not.
Illustrations by Joschua Knüppe and Ashley Patch
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So that's it. Ultrastenos, the enigmatic, possibly longirostrine mekosuchine of the Riversleigh. Will this post age badly? Maybe, maybe not, we'll see. Wikipedia: Ultrastenos - Wikipedia Primary sources: Stein, Michael; Hand, Suzanne J.; Archer, Michael (26 May 2016). "A new crocodile displaying extreme constriction of the mandible, from the late Oligocene of Riversleigh, Australia". Journal of Vertebrate Paleontology. 36 (5): e1179041. doi:10.1080/02724634.2016.1179041 Ristevski, J.; Willis, P.M.A.; Yates, A.M.; White, M.A.; Hart, L.J.; Stein, M.D.; Price, G.J.; Salisbury, S.W. (2023). "Migrations, diversifications and extinctions: the evolutionary history of crocodyliforms in Australasia". Alcheringa: An Australasian Journal of Palaeontology: 1–46. doi:10.1080/03115518.2023.2201319. S2CID 258878554
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Every Epic Rap Battle of History ranked
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All right folks, sit down and strap in, cause this is gonna be a long one. So I recently got to rewatching Epic Rap Battles of History, as I do once a year or so. As I was watching through them all, I started to feel tempted to rank all the battles in a tier list. However, once I had ranked them, I felt like I needed to explain my reasoning for each battle's placement, and one thing led to another until eventually I had churned out this 14k word monstrosity. So here we go, I will be ranking all 86 current Epic Rap Battles of History from worst to best, explaining my thoughts on each one, as well as giving my opinion of who won the battle and what I thought the best line in each one was (which is not necessarily delivered by who I think the winner is):
F TIER
86. Sarah Palin vs Lady Gaga
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Winner: Lady Gaga
Best line: "Governor of Alaska? That's like the principal of a home school."
This one is just terrible, plain and simple. I honestly don't think many people would disagree with me that this is one of the worst. The best I can say about it is that the person they got to play Sarah Palin looks and sounds the part pretty well. But everything else just falls flat on its face. A matchup with no chemistry, lyrics that are purely surface level with no deeper meaning, oh, and some poorly-aged jokes about "transvestites" for good measure. Frankly I'm surprised that Henry VIII vs Hillary Clinton was scrapped because it didn't meet Peter's and Lloyd's standards, yet this somehow managed to make it through all the way to becoming a finished product.
(For reference, I won't be officially ranking Henry VIII vs Hillary Clinton since it wasn't released as a finished, official episode, but it's honestly better than anything I'm putting in D or F tier. It'd probably fall somewhere near the bottom of C tier.)
85. Adam vs Eve
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Winner: Adam
Best line: "It ain't Summer, Eve. Don't try to play me like a douche. You wanna bite on my fruit? Well, you can swallow the truth."
Honestly I would consider this the most painful episode to watch. As bad as Gaga vs Palin is, I would rather sit through that than this shit any day of the week. The only reason this ranks higher is simply because the lyrics are a bit more clever. Emphasis on "a bit", because only 5% of the lyrics have anything to do with the titular Biblical characters, and the other 95% are generic "man vs woman" lines using the most tired stereotypes you can imagine. "You're a slob", "Well, you're naggy". There, that's the whole battle summed up for you. What a waste of Jenna Marbles as a guest star.
84. Bruce Banner vs Bruce Jenner
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Winner: Bruce Banner
Best line: "After battling me, you're gonna always be pissed. So the Hulk will stay forever, neither Bruce will exist."
There's a reason this video has the highest dislike-to-like ratio of any battle in ERB history. I mean, part of that is probably transphobes being mad at the existence of a trans person being acknowledged, but that alone wouldn't make it so hated if the battle was otherwise good. But as you can probably guess, it's not. For a video that was meant to show allyship to the trans community, how did no one on the staff point out that it might be a bad idea to directly compare a person transitioning to a comic book character transforming into a monster? This was just a bad idea from the start.
The first half of the battle is decent, but once the two do their transformation scene, it completely falls apart. On one hand, it feels like they were too scared to make Hulk really pack a punch with his lines out of fear of coming off as transphobic, so they just gave him barely any lines at all. But one of the lines he does have honestly still comes off as pretty transphobic: "That painted face don't give you class, just one more thing Bruce do for cash". Yikes. And then Caitlyn proceeds to have the most long, rambling verse in ERB history that doesn't have a single line that says anything with any substance except for the last one.
Look, I appreciate that at the heart of this battle was an attempt at showing love for the trans community. It had good intentions, but it's pretty clear that the idea and writing came from two cis dudes who were out of their element, and it really should have been shot down at the concept phase.
D TIER
83. Justin Bieber vs Beethoven
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Winner: Beethoven
Best line: "There's a crowd of millions waiting to hear my symphonies. You wanna be a little white Usher? Here, show 'em to their seats.
Man, remember when hating on Justin Bieber was a whole-ass personality trait? I would know, that was me. From the start, this is clearly made to be a one-sided battle with how deliberately annoying Bieber's portrayal is. Peter's version of Beethoven is actually pretty decent though which is what stops this from slipping down into F. It's also a nice touch that a remix of Beethoven's 5th symphony is the background music, though it does get points deducted due to the music not even attempting to switch to something different when Bieber is rapping. Just goes to show how much this battle was made to be stacked against Bieber.
82. Ash Ketchum vs Charles Darwin
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Winner: Charles Darwin
Best line: “Your shit-talking mouth is the origin of feces!”
From one annoying portrayal to another, we have Ash Ketchum. I don't think that this one was intentionally made to be bad though. But God, Ash is insufferable here. Completely interrupting the song to make a joke about barnacle dick, and let's not forget the cringiest line in series history - "You've got candy raps, Reese's pieces", a line that has absolutely nothing to do with either character and could have at least been marginally fixed by just changing it to "Rhesus pieces", as in Rhesus monkeys, which Darwin actually did study.
I was actually one of the many people suggesting this matchup before it happened, and I remember when the battle finally came out, I tried to convince myself that I liked it more than I actually did, because hey, cool, they did an episode about Pokemon! I love Pokemon! But the more I look back on it, the more I realize how disappointing it is as a Pokemon fan. Mat4yo of the YouTube series "Chisel This" (which does in-depth analyses of the lyrics and musical structures of ERBs, highly recommend checking it out) was brought in as a Pokemon expert to assist on this battle since it was a series Peter and Lloyd weren't too familiar with, and while that did result in a couple of semi-obscure Pokemon references such as the old man glitch or how Ash had not caught a Ghost type up to that point, ultimately most of what he wrote ended up being scrapped, and the rest of the Pokemon jokes ended up being the lowest-hanging fruit that Pokemon fans had been hearing jokes about for over a decade at that point. "Haha, Pokemon battles are like dog fighting". "Haha, Professor Oak fucked Ash's mom". "Haha, Pokeballs, it's funny because we said balls".
Just like the last one, Peter's portrayal is the one thing keeping this from slipping down to F.
C TIER
81. John Lennon vs Bill O'Reilly
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Winner: Bill O'Reilly
Best line: "You're Paul McCartney's bitch with less talent than Ringo, and I'd rather suck George Bush's dick than Yoko Ono's."
The battle that started it all ranks near the bottom, but that does go to show that they just went up from here (for the most part). Probably ties with Gaga vs Palin as the matchup that most makes me go "How did anyone even think of this, what link do these two even have". I'm guessing the theme of both battles is meant to be a conservative vs a liberal? I dunno. There's really not much to say on this one. It's pretty basic, but I get it. It was the first of its kind and was apparently produced on a budget of only $50. By those standards, it's all right.
80. Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge
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Winner: J.P. Morgan
Best line: "Don’t panic, Scrooge, but you’re about to crash. I’m J.P. Morgan, the Ghost of Rich Dudes Past! Who’s properly rocking the Monopoly mustache! Yo, I own the railroad, I run these tracks!”
This one is weird in hindsight, made in a time before Trump's voice and mannerisms became burned into everyone's minds. I don't think anyone would disagree that Lloyd's later portrayal of Trump was way more accurate. Peter's impression here is basically just yelling. Speaking of portrayals as well, this is the first battle involving frequent guest star Zach Sherwin on this list, and I have to say, even in mediocre battles like this one, he always knocks it out of the park as whoever he's playing. I don't think there's been a single bad Zach appearance.
This is a battle where I think the idea was really solid, it just didn't turn out as good as maybe it could have. Telling the story of A Christmas Carol through rap battles, while also switching out the ghosts for other iconic rich people was a pretty brilliant move on paper. Just, I dunno, I feel like this is the weakest of the ensemble battles. I think what it comes down to is that it was a bit too ambitious for the budget they had at the time. Something like this would have benefited from being in season 5 or 6 when they could really go all out with sets and special effects. I mean, they go through the iconic scene of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come showing Scrooge his own grave, but it all takes place in Scrooge's bedroom and we don't even get to see the grave.
A sidenote about this one too is that Donald Trump actually saw it and responded to it. I wonder if he ever saw any of the later ones starring him.
79. Elon Musk vs Mark Zuckerberg
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Winner: Mark Zuckerberg
Best line: "I've been looking up your family, it gets dark, my God! Couldn't clean your daddy's laundry with Apar-Tide pods."
It's kinda funny that these two actually have more in common now than they did when the battle came out thanks to Musk's takeover of Twitter. I feel like I'm placing this battle lower than most would. Lyrically, it's very clever (rhyming "sprinkle tossed in" with "Winklevoss twins" may just be the smartest rhyme in series history), but I just don't really like the portrayal of either character in this. They're both just kind of obnoxious, which is true to life admittedly, but still.
I was going to say "This was the first battle after they broke off with Maker Studios and went independent, and it definitely shows in the visuals department, because the special effects are rough". And while still think the shots of Musk flying to Mars look pretty bad, I don't think it has to do with the split with Maker Studios; because the very next battle that came out after this one was Freddy Krueger vs Wolverine, and that is still possibly the most visually impressive battle they've ever done. It probably had more to do with the fact that this was considered a "bonus battle" rather than the true season 6 premiere, so it probably was just given a shoestring budget so that the actual effort could go into Krueger vs Wolverine. It's gonna be a while before we talk about that battle, so I think it's safe to say that sacrifice paid off.
78. Columbus vs Captain Kirk
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Winner: Columbus
Best line: "Why don't you boldly go someplace you've never gone before, like India, or any destination you actually set sail for?"
I'm noticing I'm saying "I think this character's portrayal was annoying" quite a lot in these bottom 10 spots, but it makes sense that that would really sink a battle for me when I find half of it hard to even listen to. So, yeah, Lloyd does a William Shatner impression that completely breaks the flow, and it's funny as a joke but not very fun to listen to as music.
A sidenote about this one is that I always misremember it as being a season 2 battle. I think for whatever reason it was the one season 1 battle that never popped up in my recommended until season 2 was already underway.
77. Gandalf vs Dumbledore
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Winner: Gandalf
Best line: "I leave mics in flames, torched by Gandalf. Touch mine, Dumbledore, and scorch your other hand off!"
This was another battle that could have benefited from coming later, both from a writing and visuals standpoint. Early ERBs were very short with lyrics that didn't run too deep, and both of these characters come from universes with such rich lore that there's so much more you can do with (this was the first battle where both rappers were fictional, actually). Fortunately, both universes would get time to shine with more clever writing, thanks to JRR Tolkien vs George RR Martin and Harry Potter vs Luke Skywalker. The visuals for a video between two masters of magic also definitely leaves something to be desired. This was another one that should have been held off on until about season 5 or 6. They probably would have relied less on the "Dumbledore is gay" jokes if that had happened too, so that would have been another plus.
76. Batman vs Sherlock Holmes
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Winner: Sherlock Holmes
Best line: "You're shamed and traumatized and haunted by the vast disgrace of watching like a passive waste as momma died and daddy was dispatched with haste!"
And here we have another bad portrayal, one that's so infamous that even ERB itself has acknowledged it. Peter is not a good Batman, just plain and simple. It's a shame that it brings an otherwise good battle down. Zach Sherwin kills it as Sherlock Holmes, and the actor for Dr. Watson also does a great job. Even Robin's part is fun. Outside of Batman, the only part I don't really like is how Sherlock interrupts the song to think about what he's about to do for his second verse. I get that it's in-character for him, but it kills the pacing.
75. Hitler vs. Vader 3
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Winner: Hitler
Best line: "Screw you, you big black cunt! I'll kick your balls and your face: a war on two fronts!"
The final entry in the iconic Hitler vs Vader trilogy, and the weakest one in my opinion. I think it's pretty clear that they were running out of things to say about this matchup by this point. I mean, hell, part of Vader's verse is taken up by Boba Fett coming in and just bragging about himself rather than saying anything about his opponent. Feels like it was just there to take up time.
74. Donald Trump vs Joe Biden
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Winner: Donald Trump
Best line: "Your campaign's like your family: crash and burn."
This was a battle that was very clearly affected by Covid. Aside from the animated Harry Potter vs Luke Skywalker, this was the only battle to come out in 2020. I appreciate that the team put together what they could in the midst of the raging pandemic, but as a consequence, it doesn't have the spectacle of the other presidential battles. What was once planned to be a battle royale with Bernie Sanders and Ronald Reagan joining the fight was cut down to a simple one-on-one, with Abe Lincoln not even making an appearance. As such, while the matchup does feel more fairly written than Trump vs Hillary, it also just has less overall to remember.
Some parts of this battle have aged interestingly looking back on it three years later: Trump condemning "looting and violence" right before January 6th happened; also him saying that Roe vs Wade would get repealed, which ended up happening despite Biden winning. And 200k being given as the death count for Covid at the time, woof, if only it had stayed that low.
73. Oprah vs Ellen
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Winner: Ellen
Best line: "So if battling me is your intention, I better mention, you're bout to get licked by a lesbian."
Well, this one hasn't exactly aged gracefully with what we now know about Ellen DeGeneres and how she ran her talk show, but I'm not going to hold that against this battle. What I will say is that this is a battle that I constantly forget exists (side note: in the time between writing this and going back through the list to insert the images, I had already once again forgotten this battle existed). Two current-day celebrities who are both rivals in the same field just isn't much of an exciting idea for an Epic Rap Battle of History; there just isn't too much you can do with that and it shows here. I will say though, the casting on both Oprah and Ellen was great, the two actresses definitely exude all the charisma that the real women do on their shows.
72. Donald Trump vs Hillary Clinton
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Winner: Hillary Clinton
Best line: "You wanna talk about misogyny? Your Bill's worse than Cosby. He left a mess on that dress like you left in Benghazi!"
And just squeaking by the previous Trump election battle, we have the original one. This one is clearly much more biased against Trump, barely saying anything bad about Hillary and making Trump out to be a massive prick. Which, okay, is true, but in the context of a rap battle, a rapper's own lines generally shouldn't make them look worse. Honestly though, this battle is just more fun and energetic than Trump vs Biden, and that's why it's slightly higher.
71. Hulk Hogan vs Kim Jong-il
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Winner: Hulk Hogan
Best line: "You're a freak, a phony, a Rice-a-roni jabroni! I'm gonna bounce you like a check for my alimony!
Before every fanmade rap battle beat the idea into the ground, this was the OG of introducing a surprise third rapper into the mix. This one is just funny. "Beijing is in China, you blond asshole" still gets a kick out of me. This is another early series matchup where the two rappers have absolutely nothing in common, but this one turned out better than you'd think from just looking at the title. Also love the re-edited version of this that brings the special effects up, though sadly it couldn't make Peter's muscle suit look good.
B TIER
70. Billy Mays vs Ben Franklin
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Winner: Billy Mays
Best line: "You following me, camera guy? Cause it's about to get furious. You're gonna love my nuts 'til you're bi-focal-curious!"
I wonder if younger fans of ERB even know who Billy Mays and Vince Offer were. It's a sad thing to think about. The ending of the battle where Billy Mays just straight-up dies and Vince comes in to close it out is iconic. Ben Franklin's lines are kinda whatever, it's the salespeople that steal the show, but that's kinda to be expected. Also the person they got to play Billy Mays is perfect.
69. Doc Brown vs Doctor Who
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Winner: Doctor Who
Best line: "You're not a cat with nine lives, you're a pussy with thirteen."
Admittedly I'm not too familiar with Doctor Who, so I'm certain some references went over my head on this one. Despite that and my love for Back to the Future, I've gotta hand it to the Doctor. Having him die and regenerate halfway through the battle was a cool idea, and both actors that portray him are really fun and embody the charisma I know the character is known for. The joke about how Doctor Who's special effects suck and you can see a hand manipulating the TARDIS in the background I think is one of the funniest jokes the series has ever done.
68. Dr. Seuss vs Shakespeare
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Winner: The Cat in the Hat
Best line: "You bore people to death! You leave a classroom looking like the end of MacBeth!"
This is a battle that would be a lot higher were it not for one thing. Well, two things actually - Thing 1 and Thing 2. The first three verses are utterly fantastic - Shakespeare's first verse written in iambic pentameter, the Cat in the Hat hitting with some of the most clever lines in season 1, and of course, Shakespeare's iconic rapid-fire second verse. And then… Thing 1 and Thing 2. Purely awful. Painful to listen to. Any time I rewatch this battle, I turn it off once Shakespeare is done.
67. Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD 2
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Winner: EpicLLOYD
Best line: "I'm trying to make art, motherfucker, you're trying to find a rhyme for 'erection'!"
This battle feels like it was made more for the crew of ERB than the audience with all the inside jokes about production. It's also noticeably meaner and more personal than NP vs EL 1, and I remember it made me worried just how much resentment the two apparently had underneath the surface. This battle was put out to announce that the series would be going on hiatus, and the way it came off with how sick and tired Peter and Lloyd were of everything, I honestly thought ERB might never come back. Thankfully that wasn't the case. I'm sure it was all in good fun, but man, the frustrations the two expressed in this felt so raw, and I'm sure a lot of that anger was genuine.
66. Frederick Douglass vs Thomas Jefferson
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Winner: Frederick Douglass
Best line: "You got a self-evident truth of your own: You let freedom ring but never picked up the phone!"
Like Banner vs Jenner, this is another battle that felt afraid to throw any real punches towards one of the rappers. Jefferson's first verse is mostly just talking himself up, then the whole thing kinda just becomes a soapbox about slavery. It's really kinda lame how Jefferson's entire second verse is solely dedicated to defending himself.
This battle was ERB's one real attempt to push themselves as an educational series, as evidenced by the fact that this is the one and only battle to release a censored version so it could be shown in classrooms, and I think that's kinda why this one comes across a little preachy. That being said, it's certainly not bad.
65. Frank Sinatra vs Freddie Mercury
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Winner: Freddie Mercury
Best line: "So kiss my ass, Frankie, but you'll have to wait in line."
Here we have a great performance paired with a lackluster performance to make a middle-of-the-road battle overall. Obviously Freddie had more charm than Sinatra, but man, Sinatra's portrayal in this is so boring. The fact that more than half of his disses are just gay jokes doesn't really do him any favors either. Peter's Freddie Mercury though is amazing, and I love how Freddie gets to rap in a style unlike anyone else in the series that mimics the iconic sound of Queen.
64. Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD
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Winner: Nice Peter
Best line: "I drew a mustache on your face and you played a mean Hitler. Take the mustache away, you look more like Bette Midler."
This was the season 1 finale and it was a perfect tribute to everything that had been done so far. Seeing flashes of every character the two had played up to that point was so cool, and it was fun to see the two creators duke it out, albeit in a lighthearted, clearly joking way. It's very interesting to compare the tone of this to the rematch, showing how attitudes change when a fun project with your buddy becomes your job, and how that can leave you feeling jaded over time.
63. Bob Ross vs Pablo Picasso
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Winner: Pablo Picasso
Best line: "I am the greatest, the modern art Muhammad Ali. I melt faces, call me MC Dali."
Peter and Lloyd both make really funny foils here, and the visuals of this one really stand out, as to be expected from a battle with two painters. Picasso giving out his ridiculously long full name followed by a deadpan "Back to you, Bob" will always be hilarious.
62. Sir Isaac Newton vs Bill Nye
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Winner: Sir Isaac Newton
Best line: "You wanna battle, guy? That's a crazy notion! When I start flowing, I stay in motion!"
Been a fan of Weird Al since I was a young one, so obviously I loved seeing him in this. He definitely stole the show here as he so often does. Not too big of a fan of Bill Nye or Neil DeGrasse Tyson's verses though, and I don't really know why Peter went for that kind of voice with Bill Nye.
61. Jeff Bezos vs Mansa Musa
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Winner: Mansa Musa
Best line: "Here's a nugget of advice to get your union problems handled: Want workers that don't piss? Hire some camels!"
Another battle where one rapper blows it out of the water while the other is just okay. Scru Face Jean, a YouTube rapper who had previously done reaction videos for ERB, portrays Mansa Musa and had a hand in helping write his character's verses, and it definitely shows. Every one of Musa's lines is brilliantly crafted with super clever wordplay. Jeff Bezos meanwhile… ehh, more misses than hits in my opinion.
60. Abe Lincoln vs Chuck Norris
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Winner: Abe Lincoln
Best line: "I read up on your facts, you cure cancer with your tears? Well tell me Chuck, how come you never sat down and cried on your career?"
This is a certified classic. This is also another completely random season 1 matchup but I think this battle is so iconic that I don't even question it. While Chuck Norris jokes aren't exactly funny anymore, I still get an ironic kick out of the absurdity of this battle. I actually got introduced to ERB through a teacher showing some videos to the class. While we got through Einstein vs Hawking with no issue, the teacher immediately turned it off at the line "I wear a black belt on the beard that I grow on my dick" in this video.
59. Miley Cyrus vs Joan of Arc
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Winner: Joan of Arc
Best line: "Je suis la fille en feu; call me Katniss Everdeen!"
This was the absolute favorite of a high school friend of mine, she's probably the only person to have listened to this battle enough to be able to recite it by heart. Can't say I particularly love it, but I also don't seem to hate it as much as most people. I think it's pretty good! Joan of Arc being a devoutly religious person really contrasts well with Miley Cyrus and kind of acts as a stand-in for the moral outrage that Miley was facing at the time. Both actresses also nail their roles. As much as this battle was clearly a "headline of the moment" battle, I still think it holds up decently today.
58. Stephen King vs Edgar Allan Poe
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Winner: Edgar Allan Poe
Best line: "Masque of the Red Death? Barely blood-curdling. Pit and the Pendulum? Not even unnerving. Perving on your first cousin when she’s 13 years old? Now that’s disturbing.”
My main disappointment with this battle is just how many more lines King gets than Poe does. Especially with Poe's second verse being so fast, it just leaves King feeling like he's taking up way too much screen time. King's second verse also isn't all too great. That said, both of Poe's verses are good, and King's first is really fun with all the puns he makes with his book names.
All right folks, so I’ve actually gotta split this list up into 3 parts since Tumblr only allows 30 images per post. Click here for part 2!
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zoobus · 1 year
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Types of manga on the all time bestseller list, grouped by how surprising I found their various rankings:
Completely expected
00s shounen that became the face of anime. They might be good, they might be bad, but you know who they are.
Post-2010 popular action shounen you may or may not have read but you've definitely heard of. Globalization and the increased cultural acceptance of anime mean lots of recent record breakers. I just found a Spy x Family surprise toy at Five Below.
Rumiko Takahashi
80s coming-of-age baseball romcom in what we might call a "soft retro Rumiko Takahashi art style" because none of these are known outside of Japan. Their super high placement only seems bizarre if you haven't been a weeb your whole life
Old classics (astro boy, rose of Versailles)
Horny classics (much of the lowest tier)
90s or older gag comedy built on dudes contorting their faces like silly putty
Silly little kid adventures
80s sports manga that starts off realistic but gradually descends into madness to raise the stakes
Sports manga that doesn't start realistic and there's no way any of these moves are legal but the characters are all passionate cute boys
Cooking manga that only me and Japan know about. Cooking Papa should be even higher.
Pleasantly surprised
Horrible violent delinquents beat the fuck out of each other to determine who's the Worst. Cover is a sneering teen in a gakuran with a slick pompadour if it's near the 80s or shaved if closer to the 00s
Horrible violent delinquents beat the fuck out of each other but it's funny. Be glad it was made back then because "lol couldn't make this today" is something you'll think often
Realistic slice of life depiction of Just Some Guy
Vagabound? What are you doing up here?
Objectively knew of its popularity but still shocked by it
Visceral, anatomically unusual 80s-90s manga about muscular men committing increasingly bizarre acts of violence on each other. Always a favorite with 2000s gammer sites obsessed with proving their hobbies' manliness and those who liked posting contextless pages to freak people out. I don't have a problem with this so much as I can't grasp how stuff like Baki the Grappler isn't hyper niche.
Kid detectives. Another example of the "I already knew this was insanely popular but I'm not sure why" genre except unlike Baki the Grappler, I've read Conan and Kindaichi Files.
The first shojo appearance for miles, Boys Over Flowers. Did these books come with opium dusted on that shit or what
Unpleasantly surprised
Mediocre shonen you kind of knew was popular simply because the title popped a lot but YOU'VE never heard anyone talk about it, you're pretty sure you've never met a fan, and all the anime forums you wasted your time on wouldn't even bother insulting it, it was so low on the radar
All the big shojo names are lower than you'd think
Why is DEATH NOTE lower than the fucking SLIME ISEKAI?!?
Futari Ecchi 👎👎👎
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what-if-nct · 5 months
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HEYYYYY I THINK I TOLD YOU RECENTLY ABOUT HOW IM GOING TO THE MUSEUM WITH A FRIEND THAT I HAVE FEELINGS FOR AND I DIDNT KNOW IF IT WAS JUST AN OUTING OR A DATE. I STILL DONT KNOW BUT WE WENT OUT TODAY!!! I arrived there a bit early which is good for me because it gives me time to panic beforehand and I also realised the Christmas markets were right next to the museum. The museum was quite nice but not particularly interesting but I was talking a lotttt. I tend to be quite quiet actually but when I’m alone with them I’m constantly talking so I hope they are okay with that. My mercury is in their first house tho and my mercury has conjunctions and trines with lots of their placements. Their sun also conjuncts my moon which is cute. We got matching animal thingys at the museum gift shop. But afterwards, we go to the Christmas markets and it was raining a lot so we both had our big coats on and was sharing an umbrella. Ik that isn’t particularly significant but I liked that I got to be closer to them for a bit under the umbrella. But the umbrella kept breaking and going the wrong way because it was also extremely windy. I think it’s really cute when there’s games at an arcade or fair and one person wins a toy/plushie for the other so I kinda hinted at doing that but they didn’t win :/. I chose to do hook a duck so it was quite easy for me and so I got a hedgehog but I didn’t give it to them. It can be our child tho that I look after. We played darts but I failed miserably and they did alright but didn’t get enough points for a toy jellyfish. Then we searched for churros and were walking around everywhere and it was one of the last stalls where we got them. We were planning on surprising our friend who works in a shop but idk if we came at the right time or not. We waited there and started looking very silly just standing there and so we gave up. We went to different shops and looked around but didn’t buy much stuff. I did buy presents though for the person I have for secret Santa. After shopping we went back to the bus stop and hugging before they got on the bus. As there were a lot of people getting on the bus, it stayed there for ages so they waved a few times whilst i was waiting for my bus. I enjoyed it and they seemed too as well. Later on though some of us were talking on a gc about celebrity crushes. The person I like is the type to just read the stuff on the gc but not say anything really unless directly spoken to and so they were reading all of what we were saying. I put some pictures of Hyde of L’Arc en Ciel on there and pointed out how I loved his hair in one of the pictures. Another friend pointed out of the pictures and said “DAMN ITS GIVING SOMEONE” and it made me realise how he low-key looks like my friend I like in the picture especially with his hairstyle and yeah. I still don’t really know if it was a date or not (pretty sure it was just an outing but I’d like to be believe it was a date) but going to the museum and Christmas market as some of my favourite date ideas so yeah.
Im so happy you had a wonderful time. And it sounds like you had a really great time and I think either a date or just an outing at least you got to hang out with someone you like and go to know them better. I hope you get to spend more time with them and if not have a relationship at least build a really strong friendship.
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skyshardmusic · 1 year
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Endless Labyrinth and ambiance from The Borderline.
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So, basically this blog is my thread from Twitter but in all in one!
The idea is to talk about some of my music once in a while, tell interesting details and stuff. So here we go.
I re-discovered this ambiance piece recently, when I was re-listening some of my stuff with new headphones.
This headphones are way more professional than what I used, and its a huge jump forward, I'm still getting used. The main feature is that I can now hear the bass placement correctly, since my previous headphones (Sennheiser HD 251) lacked bass.
Anyway, I was expecting most stuff to be bad, but to my surprise the quality amazed me. I think my monitors helped a lot during the mixing.
The point is that I could hear stuff that I tried to do but couldn't say if I nailed it or not yet, with my old headphones. Very spatial audio, anxious automation of the sub-frequencies (really, makes ya feel anxious), good placement for different FX and stuff which was happening on the "scene" and all of that pretty clean too.
My goal with the ambiance pieces from The Borderline was to give the feeling of an horror game. For example, if you play any Silent Hill game without sound, it doesn't fill scary at all. The secret is in the sound. Messing up with your brain to induce a feeling of discomfort, anxiety, fear. Make you feel like you're in a bad place ya know?
And I think I got kinda close to that. Y'all can tell me better if you got uncomfortable while listening. If you did, then great! It means I kinda nailed it!
Of course The Borderline is not all about making you uncomfortable. The horror ambiance is mixed with melodic and chill songs before and after, to advance the story and give a sense of calm before or after the scary parts.
But in overall I think so far those might be my best works on ambiance. Stuff like "The Other Side" too, I was expecting it to be bad on this studio headphones, but I found out its actually pretty well nailed.
I probably could do better now with automated binaural movement, but I think not everyone will hear it since we're going into deep audio territory.
One day I would love to mix a horror ambiance piece on a Dolby system. That would be so nice to do ~
But ye, that's what I wanted to comment today on my stuff. If you haven't heard it, The Borderline is free/pay-what-you want on my Bandcamp page.
With that said, this Friday is Bandcamp Friday, if you want to support me with any amount and getting The Borderline in your collection. I strongly recommend getting it on FLAC/WAV, however I can proudly say that the MP3 320kbps sounds pretty good too.
So ye, that's all for today, and I'll be back another day with another thread about another song.
Be good to each other. Behave. Don't drink too much cider. Peace.
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mercurytrinemoon · 3 years
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Trying to describe each sign's appearance but just complimenting them instead...
Consider this partially a "sign characteristics appearance-wise" post or something but with me being edgy with my hot takes
I've recently saw yet another list of "the most beautiful signs" and, surprise, surprise, Libra took the first spot *yawn yawn*. Listen, I know you guys are all about Venus-ruled signs and stuff but this really ticks me off a bit. It's as if it was a default feature for them to be pretty or whatever and NOT for other signs. Beauty has all shapes, sizes and incarnations, stop associating it exclusively for Libra and Taurus. Soooo I've decided to elaborate on the appearance of all signs while pointing out their strong assets. Not to come off a bit shallow but I just want to show some appreciation for other signs because each of them has something unique about their looks or the way they carry themselves. This may apply to both Sun and ascendant (actually, most people look like a mix of both).
Also note: just because something is characteristic for one sign doesn't mean other signs can't have that as well... or that you HAVE to have it if you're that sign. We all look different after all. Just sayin so we're clear. These are not strict rules and, as I always say, nothing should be looked at in separation from the rest of the chart.
*Also, if I see this article reposted somewhere, I’m gonna be real mad. Have some respect for people’s hard work
ARIES: I love their sharp features and strong bone-structure. Flushed skin is a common thing for them - its Mars' burning influence. Hair can have a ruddish tone as well. Okay and THE CURLS *deep breath*. I swear, seeing Aries men with curly hair does things to me. They're like lil lambs. Women with this placement tend to have a tougher look to their faces, sometimes even somewhat androgynous, which honestly I find super hot. Tomboy vibes big time. With Aries just overall, think strong brow bone (and often bushy or sharp, angular brows) that's pushed a bit forward (so the eyes are more on the deep-set side), bigger or wider forehead, often defined jawline with a square chin. Nose can be prominent in some way: a bit rounded or with bulbous bridge. Faces are usually square-ish and with a serious look to them. 
They often walk around with their head tilted forward - they’re a ram after all, always ready to charge ahead. They may look like they could punch you but once they smile you see how of a sweet cartoon characters they are with their warm big smiles. They can be such goofy dorks. They usually have a lot of energy so it may be hard for them to sit still, their bodies are full of excitement. Because of that, they have the tendency to hurt themselves, especially in the head/face area so that may leave some scarring. It's funny how Aries are painted as the aggressive ones while in reality, they're labradors on crack.
Aries Sun: Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Daisy Ridley | rising: Bryce Dallas Howard, Brie Larson, Joseph Gordon-Levitt | Sun + rising: Heath Ledger
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TAURUS: I think both Venus-ruled signs just have pleasant features. I don’t think it’s common for them to have striking looks (unless, of course, there’s other aspects involved). I feel like they're just there looking hella fine. I’ve noticed that Taurus folks seem to have a heavier stomp or just kind of a heavy presence. It’s as if they needed more space to maneuver? Their movements are slow and elegant. But doesn't necessarily mean they're slow pokes! Because Taurus, as an earth fixed sign, has a good understanding of their own bodies and building their strength & stamina. It's just that their movements are well thought out and controlled. 
They tend to have nice, long, elegant necks... or alternatively, very stocky, prominent ones. And is it just me or do they like wearing turtlenecks? Or scarves? Small ears are a thing as well. When it comes to face features, sometimes their noses can be a bit flattened or with wider, flared-out nostrils - kind of bull-like. I've noticed their eyes tend to be more deep-set, downturned or even smaller, with brow bone kind of covering them/pushing them back. Really cute and pretty smiles, often sensual gaze. Great, thick hair, sometimes curly or wavy - they look great with retro hairstyles imo. Usually very stylish and even if they’re not up to tends, they pay attention to quality of fabricks and the way the clothes fit as they need to feel comfortable and cosy.
Taurus Sun: Cher, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Penélope Cruz, George Clooney | rising: Rita Hayworth | Sun + rising: Robert Pattinson
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GEMINI: oh their restless energy. I love how vibrant they are with their spirit. And they're just cute-looking: squishy cheeks, often with dimples... very much a youthful look. But also a bit mischevious. I love how of a smiley & bubbly jokesters they are. Very much cameleons in that regard, they adapt easily to their environment and it also shows in their looks and manners. They use hand gestures a lot when they talk, sometimes they can be a bit (or a lot!) fidgety overall, especially if they’re anxious (and that’s something airy mercurial restless energy may struggle with). Expressive faces. Their gaze is always quick as if they were investigating the room, with sparks in their eyes.
I was once looking at photos of random people with Gemini rising specifically, and noticed an interesting pattern and it was that a lot of them had this beautiful light blue, almost grey eye shade. I've never seen anyone talk about this, maybe that's a Mercury thing? (Because I’ve also seen lots of Virgos with blue eyes). Their features are usually more noticeable - strong jawline (sometimes wide), often long pointy chin; face can be more narrow. Apparently they also have longer or slender hands and fingers? 
Gemini Sun: John Cho, Tom Holland, Alanis Morissette | rising: Sandra Bullock, Michelle Pfeiffer, Matthew McConaughey
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CANCER: honestly such classic beauts. Cancers are the epitome of beauty & grace. Very friendly faces with welcoming aura. Just like with any water sign, having eyes light in color is common. Personally, I've noticed that sometimes Cancers have more of a bone-y faces and really sharp jaws and chins - as if they were sculpted. Cheeks are usually prominent, sometimes they sit lower on the face. Okay, the Moon face? It may be round or more fleshy and that’s why Cancers are known for having a baby face? Also, it may have something to do with their tendency to water retention. I personally think they sometimes look like a crescent Moon from the side: their chins and browbones tend to go forward a bit so that it makes their face look somewhat sunk-in from the side (so kiiind of like a crescent Moon?).
Just like any water sign, they're a lot more prone to being influenced - with Cancer, it's the influence of their own emotions or upbringing. This has its effect on their appearance as well. They can be very soft and natural, yes, but I've noticed that Cancers really like to dabble in colorful palettes - I often see them with colorful hair, bedazzled clothing, rainbow accesories or, alternatively, being emo or goths. It's all about outward expression. But overall, their ruler, Moon, is the most sensitive and changeable of them all so, especially in their case, it's very important to pay attention to where their natal Moon sits because that will color the way they look and carry themselves.
Cancer Sun: Olivia Munn, Robin Williams | rising: Angelina Jolie, Lisa Bonet, Kurt Russell | rising + Sun: George Michael
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LEO: charm and cheeky. Smize. Beautiful broad smiles. They have twinkles in their eyes and are very giggly. Rounder faces, softer than Aries. Button noses, flatter or wider nose bridge that connects to their brows. Deep blue or green eyes are common as well. Hair really IS prominent - whether it's short and cute or long and full. If it's long, it's usually very blown-out or wavy. I've also noticed that they won't let just anyone take care of their hair because they almost treat it like something sacret. They also tend to like to lighten their hair a bit, no matter the gender, so that it has golden highlights (it's all about gold tones, you know?).
I always say they're the least loud of fire signs because they're just too cool for that - they have the most swagger out of all the signs. They carry themselves with pride and have cat-like yet confident movements. Very welcoming and warm people, they have this inner light within them. They also seem to tan nicely (or easily so this can go south pretty quick), it’s as if the Sun was there to beautify them even more. I feel like they literally radiate gold.
Leo Sun: Michelle Yeoh, Viola Davis, Jason Momoa | rising: Robert Downey Jr, Selena Gomez | rising + Sun: Jennifer Lopez
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VIRGO: okay first off, can we stop the Virgo stereotype? People say they're boring and conservative with their looks (and with their personalities as well, but it's not what we're discussing here). Have you looked at a Virgo? They straight up look like dolls. Omg so pretty. They have big downturned or round eyes, delicate features, always put together. Their chins are usually more pointy and their facial features seem so chiseled. Noses are sometimes very straight or with a longer point. Idk their faces just seem tiny and cute. Faces tend to be oblong with pointier chins. I wouldn't necessarily say all of them are modest in their looks but most Virgos I know would NEVER wear something that fits bad, looks bad, has a crooked stitching etc or, not to mention, something that should belong in the laundry.
They may not be as bubbly and goofy as a Gemini (tho they're just as witty!), especially if we're talking about a Virgo rising, but they have this light, almost stoic aura to them. They're somewhere in between the cuddliness of a Taurus and coldness of a Capricorn. A bit reserved in their approach as well.
Virgo Sun: Zendaya, Shirley Manson | rising: Uma Thurman, Elizabeth Olsen, Donald Glover | Sun + rising: Keanu Reeves
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LIBRA: I've noticed Libras often have these amazing high sharp cheekbones. Sometimes even a naturally foxy eye look. It's like they had permanently contoured face, no matter the gender. Of course, Libras are also known for (seemingly) symmetrical features. Or at least well-proportioned and pleasant. Plump lips are common as well, they're very smiley and fun and approachable people. Chin dimples? Usually brown eyes, I've noticed. Now, I've seen Libras that look like they don't know what a shower is, but if they are REALLY tapped into that venusian energy, they typically have a clear vision of what they want to look like and how they want to present themselves. The mix of air and Venus makes it very coherent, thought-out but also very effortlessly appealing. You know, Libra artists will be the ones to make a full-on concept album that has a certain aesthetic or even create a character for it. I feel like that's the energy. Great at doing make-up, they’re very creative in that regard & they know how to bring out the best assets - not just in themselves but in others as well.
Bonus unpopular opinion: Libra Suns are better looking than Libra risings (soz). You guys seem to like to read biased astro observations, well that's mine lol. It's just because whatever Sun sign you have, it's natural for you, it's just in you, whereas the rising sign is where you may sometimes try too much (but that’s a topic on its own).
Libra Sun: Will Smith, Halsey | rising: Jennifer Aniston, Michelle Branch | Sun + rising: John Mayer, Doja Cat
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SCORPIO: a LOT MORE lighthearted than people paint them to be. There may be certain intensity about them - I feel like resting bitch face can very much be a Scorpio thing but, similarily to Aries (and they have some other things in common), once they smile, they show their sweet, softer side & you see their warm energy - reserved, yes, but still somewhat warm and shy. They probably won't open up themselves but will sure make you do that. I feel like that's something worth mentioning here, even tho I'm focusing on appearance here, but I'm just hella tired of Scorpio stereotypes of being mYstEriOuS aNd sExY.
They can give you a death stare tho lol. They have a piercing gaze. I always say that Scorpios look kind of like eagles - I call it the concerned look - the focus point on their face is between their eyes and on the nose, which, by the way, tends to be hooked, eagle-like as well. There's a tendency to frown - again, it's all about that focused look. Their appearance just usually looks striking. Whether it's extremely pale skin (or a lot lighter than their parents' because this can apply to black and brown people), lots of freckles, blemishes and birth marks (just like with Aries, their ruler Mars leaves scars), a bald head or big round eyes, intensely light or blue in shade - it's just striking. Such unique individuals. And they can be just as weird and experimental with their looks as an Aquarius.
Scorpio Sun: Tilda Swinton, Joaquin Phoenix | rising: Chester Bennington, Chris Evans | rising + Sun: Julia Michaels, Björk
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SAGITTARIUS: I feel like I should just give you the never-ending list of Sagittarius Suns & risings and that would explain itself. Sadges have playfulness, swag and sexiness all mixed together. They're just cool & chill and usually SO unbothered. Their sense of humor carries through their body language. Something that is distinguishable for a Sag is a jolly broad smile and a loud laugh. Being carefree and funny, not being afraid to make a dork out of themselves - hella attractive. Very clumsy tho. Legs for days. Glossy & dreamy doe-like eyes that can become lively and full of passion and excitement in a matter of seconds. Hair is prominent as well, just like with Leos, but more wild and harder to tame. Idk I feel like sometimes Sadges look like some mystical forest creatures or low-key mythical roman gods (I mean... I guess it's the centaur thing).
And yeah, our faces DO look like horses a bit, like, let's admit that. It's all about elongated, exaggerated (Jupiter) features: noses and chins can be a bit longer and more prominent/sharp; face that’s oblong; teeth that's a bit bigger; sometimes the root of their nose/glabella area can be a bit broader and flat, which is interesting, but I did notice that among many Sadges (including myself lol). Face features are overall softer & more round compared to other fire signs.
Sagittarius Sun: Britney Spears, Lucy Liu | rising: Brigitte Bardot | rising + Sun: Scarlett Johansson, Brad Pitt, Jimi Hendrix
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CAPRICORN: Iconic.
A classic type of graceful beauty. I wouldn’t say they have distinguishable traits, their faces are usually just very balanced with nice cheekbones. It is often said that their skin looks somewhat dry and matte. Their facial features look sharper and more defined with age and it’s when their amazing bone structure really starts to pop. I think Cap risings in particular, especially in younger age, can experience a lot of insecurities and issues with self-acceptance, but honestly they age like a fine wine, such timeless & versatile beauty. I think there's a reason a lot of top models, old Hollywood starts or even a lot of iconic rock stars have strong Capricorn influence in their charts. There's something in those folks that makes them become sort of a blueprints of the ideal - and that expands beyond their looks of course, it's all about their legacy. It's probably thanks to a mix of Saturn, their cardinal nature and grounded earthy influence.
They have a style that’s either very comfort-driven and with an earthy natural touch (but less clean-cut than Virgo) or very modern yet still elegant. Serious look, there's something cold and sophisticated about them - like in a refined way. While Cancers are known for their baby faces, it’s said that Capricorns tend to look very mature from a young age - or rather, they carry themselves like that. 
Capricorn Sun: Jared Leto | rising: Sophia Loren, Zac Efron, Monica Bellucci, Lenny Kravitz | Sun + rising: Dave Grohl
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AQUARIUS: there is certain beauty in their quirkiness. Personality-wise, yes, but also appearance-wise. They are known for unconventional looks and somewhat disrupted proportions - something most would call a flaw but I love this about them. Flaws are cool and unique. Assymetrical face? Super cool. Lil crooked tooth or crooked nose bridge? Super cool. Eye color that is hard to define? Even more cool. Speaking of which, their eyes are the first thing you’ll notice about them, usually they’re crystal-like and sparkly or very striking in color. 
But despite their unusual nature, there's something classic about them as well - thanks to Saturn's influence. Their beauty is timeless, YET distinguishable. This may sound weird, but when I think of Aquarius, I think of faces that you can find on an ancient coin obverse: roman or more pointy noses; smaller, sometimes pushed-back chins (but with a defined jawline); high cheekbones but still softer and rounder features. Lips are usually smaller and thinner. But unlike the other Saturn-ruled sign, Capricorn, there's something dainty and elusive about them - since, obviously, unlike the former, they're an air sign. 
Fast-moving airy nature may make them more experimental with their appearance. They can easily tap into futuristic themes - they look great in neon blues, oranges, modern cuts and are great at bending gender norms when it comes to fashion. Interestingly, ethereal (air sign) or classic retro (Saturn) looks suit them really well too.
Aquarius Sun: Yoko Ono | rising: SZA, David Bowie, Christina Aguilera, Aaliyah, Henry Cavill
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PISCES: their soft gaze! And dewy skin! And pouty lips! They may look innocent but I think first and foremost, they kind of blend with whatever's around them... which also means that their features aren't as noticeable. They're like lil cameleons in that regard. They love nature and I feel like they like being in tune with that and it shows in their looks as well. So whatever flows for them and feels comfortable... Natural, effortless looks, minimal makeup. Or alternatively, as a mutable and watery (aka very changeable & adaptable sign), they like to play with different looks and become a character of themselves - it’s as if they treated themselves as a canvas for an art piece. 
Teeth are usually small and cute (I literally saw astrologers calling them fish teeth lol). Their smiles are genuine and shy, although they can be very smiley people and as jolly as a Sadge. Beautiful light or blue eyes are common among them. Their faces can be either a bit rounder and fleshy or a bit sharper but still with small, delicate features. Their heads are almost always in the clouds so they may look contemplative or even sad, deep in their thoughts, with their eyes staring into the distance. Overall, they may seem very ethereal. 
Pisces Sun: Kurt Cobain, Elizabeth Taylor, Lupita Nyong'o | rising: Bruno Mars, Billie Eilish, Gwyneth Paltrow
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blackbat05 · 3 years
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I need a break
Shangqi x Reader (Platonic) 
A/N: I feel like I’m loosing steam towards the end of my placement and wow I have never needed a break this badly before. Perhaps a short Shangqi x Reader imagine where they are both University students. Seriously at this rate I’ll just be solely a Shangqi writer HAHAHA. Doing this on my phone because I don’t want to open my work computer. Let’s see where this impromptu idea takes me to. Hope you enjoy it and as always like and comment if you wish!
Genre: PG-13
Warnings: None really, just friends supporting each other! I guess there’s an inaccurate timeline if you look at the MCU but hey this is an imagine plus if you look at some of the wiki pages, Shangqi is actually born in 1998/1999. So appreciate if you’re kind enough to go with the flow to read this comfort fic! 
‘Y/N!’ Shangqi rushes to catch up with you after class. You made an effort to conceal your tiredness but he saw it right through. ‘Gosh…you alright?’
You think to yourself. Were you really alright? The answer was pretty obvious. You were ten weeks into your placement and your emotions were a jumbled up mess. Having to deal with work responsibilities was one problem, school assignments were another issue all together. At this point, you felt like you were just getting through each week for the sake of it.
At first, you believed that what you were going through was simply a transition to becoming an adult. You thought that naturally, you would be able to persevere through the stressful periods by yourself. But of course, it has been hard.
You were a social work intern at a neighborhood youth centre, thirty minutes away if you took the train and bus. The work was fulfilling in it’s own ways, but recently there were self-doubts filling your brain, if you were really cut out for the job in the future. If you weren’t, what else could you do?
As you sat with Shangqi in the school’s student-ran cafe, you found yourself pouring out the exact same concerns to him. Credit to him, Shangqi never interrupted your monologue, he just simply listened. That’s what best friends were for. That’s what you did for him to when he ran into issues with his family.
Even then, he couldn’t deny that hearing you doubt yourself broke his heart. He had known you since high school. You mostly kept to yourself and one or two close friends. Despite joining the school’s athletic team where you were one of the main athletes, you preferred to stay in the shadows unlike some of your teammates. That didn’t stop you from going out of your way to help other students in need; like helping the girl who was in an arm cast to copy the social studies notes, even if it meant you had to do it twice. Or maybe just talking to a friend who was stressed out about their results.
Basically, you had studied your ass off to get a secured spot at this university who were only one of the few that offered the degree. He remembers you telling him the moment you got your offer, ‘I’m finally good at something. I don’t have to worry anymore!’
Shangqi wasn’t stupid. The pandemic had done some crazy things. And by crazy, it affected the self-esteem that you had been working so hard on by participating in various projects and events, with you being in charge of a drama production that was promoting on mental health. That was a big deal considering that you were a major introvert.
Online engagement was never easy. In fact he has heard some of your struggles that you’ve shared with him regarding this and it only makes him admire you even more. For someone who preferred to keep to themselves, stepping out of one’s comfort zone, to take on a role that wasn’t just simply about helping people - that took guts.
‘I’m sorry I’m just loading you with all this. I just feel…’ You trailed off, suddenly becoming emotional again. Again, Shangqi does not pry. ‘That I can’t do anything right.’ You emphasize that you had ended the statement for you were unsure that you could keep your cool if you had tried to continue on.
‘If I hear you saying sorry another time,’ he chides, ‘you’re paying for our meal later.’ Your lips curved upwards slightly before returning to its somber position. Shangqi decides that a meal won’t cut it. He needs to deploy ‘Operation Y/N’. Standing up with your buzzer to collect the food, Shangqi whips out his phone. There will be a few changes for today.
Food was definitely a cure in this situation, but it was only a part of the solution. After inhaling your ramen at light speed, Shangqi tells you that today will be a different Friday. ‘And you can’t complain! It’ll be a weekend tmr,’ he tells you. So why not? You figured that even if you went back home early, your head wouldn’t be in the right place to complete the essay for your English module.
‘Hold up! The VR studio that Katy was talking about?’ You look at the tickets inside the taxi that was taking you and Shangqi to the location. ‘How did you even, it was so hard to get these tickets!’ From the time Shangqi met you outside the classroom, he had yet to see you so ecstatic. Until now.
‘Well,’ Shangqi gives his best shrug. ‘I called in a favor from a friend. Said that it was for emergency purposes.’ He raised his fingers to make connotations in the air much to your amusement.
‘Wow… just how much do I not know about you Mr Popular?’ You teased. Shangqi decides to leave the fact on him having to persuade the Wakandan Princess in giving him free tickets.
‘Please! I swear whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it! It’s for Y/N!’
‘Ey well why didn’t you say so? If it’s for that nice friend, of course!’ Shuri leaves the entrance of the compound, an exasperated Shangqi trailing behind.
Yeah, the VR studio that Katy told them about was also funded by King T’Challa himself. With stunning life like visuals thanks to Wakandan technology, the VR studio was located in a middle class neighborhood. T’Challa believed that no matter where kids came from, they should have the right to enjoy and to explore the world. For now, he wasn’t ready to share that he was on the way on becoming a full-fledged Avenger yet - you just had too much on your plate. He’ll just have to settle with this white lie.
‘Is Katy coming?’ You were on the verge of vibrating off your seat. ‘She would love this place!’ Even when you were struggling, Y/N still manages to think about other people. Today, Y/N will put her needs first.
As if to answer your previous question, you can see an equally excited Katy waiting for the two of you at the roundabout. ‘HEL-LO EVERYONE! LET’S GET OUR FRIDAY STARTED IN PROPER SHALL WE?’ Her loud voice had attracted stares, some very displeased looks too but at this point in time, you didn’t give a damn. Katy was right, it was time to enjoy!
You wished that you could slow down time, or even replay it continuously when you needed cheering up because the only thing you felt was pure happiness - euphoria even. Your stomach was in knots for laughing hysterically together with Katy when Shangqi jumped in shock from a surprise scare from a zombie. ‘I’m keeping that for leverage,’ she tells you, quietly slipping her phone into her fanny pack. 
The Wakandans had really outdone themselves this time. Your favorite VR was the paradise VR. Slipping the headgear, you say goodbye to the smiles of Katy and Shangqi, whisking away to a beach that oddly reminded you of your dream destination - Hawaii. From where you were standing, you were surrounded by green and majestic islands. Despite their sheer size, you weren’t intimidated. In fact, you were healing. 
Your mind was no longer in the room of the VR studio. How could it when the sun kissed your skin, giving you the much needed energy that you were lacking for so long? In the room, the two sees you kick your shoes to the side, going barefoot. It may have seem strange, but with the monitor beside you, your actions were perfectly logical. 
As a kid, you used to despise the prickly feeling of sand in between your toes. But now, you grew to love the sensation that each grain of sand had on your skin. It made you feel grounded, that everything was going to be ok. You raise your virtual hand to touch your face - were you crying? 
‘She must have been really stressed huh?’ Katy whispers to Shangqi who nods in return. How he hated the fact that you were giving so much to your work but still felt underappreciated. Forget the Avengers with superhuman abilities, you were the true MVP. The VR ends and you remove your headgear. ‘I’m ok,’ you automatically reassure them despite the dry tears left on both cheeks. You step down the platform slowly, trying to regain sense of the real world. 
What you didn’t expect was the two embracing you in a hug, squishing you in between them. Maybe that had set off the waterworks. For someone like Katy, she had sage advice.
‘Life can be pretty shitty right? But I’m so proud of you fighting it Y/N. Just remember that it’s ok to be weak. I mean, I’ve seen worse from Shangqi,’ she jabs her finger towards his direction, earning a glare from him. That’s Katy, always trying to add a bit of humor to this grey world. Calming down, you let go of the both of them. ‘Thanks guys, for everything.’ 
‘Hey,’ Shangqi responds, slinging his arm over your shoulder. ‘We’re friends, so we don’t leave each other behind.’ Phone beeping, he retrieves it to check the message. ‘And look at that, nice timing. Who wants Korean BBQ?’ 
Trailing behind them, you get an amusing view of Shangqi bickering with Katy on how many Soju bottles she’s allowed to order later. As San Francisco welcomed the night, you were just thankful that you had the two of them to walk through this crazy maze called life. 
‘Last one to the shop is paying!’ 
‘Oh you’re on Mister!’  
A/N: I really just think that this was also an imagine for me to cope too. So I can only hope to finish my placement/assignments/exams well! To anyone who does studies and work simultaneously, I fucking respect you (allow me to use expletives for now, these people deserve the respect). If you’re going through a stressful time, I hope this brings the slightest comfort for you and remember… YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Again, thank you for reading! 
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virghogh · 3 years
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Guessing NCT's rising signs: Huang Renjun as a Cancer rising
Welcome to my first post where I write all about why I think this idol is X rising sign! I don't know how many of these I'll do because it heavily depends on how confident I feel in my guess of their rising lol for Renjun's rising sign, it's something I've been sitting on for a loooong time just to see if anything else comes into my head. At the end of the day we really have no way to know for sure, even if the idols gives us their birth time it still has to be taken with a grain of salt! But it’s still fun theorize and to test your skills while learning at the same time. So for now I feel pretty confident sharing my thoughts on Renjun as a cancer rising.
Let’s ✨explore✨ why:
*:・゚✧*:・゚✧long post! *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
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✦ Before I even decided to look up his chart layout, there were 2 characteristics of Renjun that initially led me to think he’s a Cancer rising. His eyes and his physique. His eyes aren’t necessarily as big as idols we’ve seen with moon in 1st, but they’re still very notable features of his physical appearance that he’s very well known for. They’re bigger, soft and dreamy, and sometimes look like he quite literally holds stars in his eyes. The biggest physical feature though is his, well, petite frame. Next to his eyes, renjun is also really well know for his smaller build. It’s even a well known inside joke amongst NCT, they all him “big shoulders renjun” (lol) because “for a guy” his shoulders a on the smaller side. Both of these physical attributes can also be identifying characteristics of cancer risings.
✦ So, in general I think he is a Cancer rising. But if we want to be more specific; I do think he is a 3rd decan Cancer rising which is the Pisces/Neptune ruled decan. I initially chose this because his house and planet placements just make so much more sense to me when the rising is in the 3rd decan (I'll get into that below), but after reading about the 3rd decan I also think it fits his personality really well! With the Neptune and Pisces influence, he's more on the open side of Cancer rising but more notably, 3rd decans are a lot more inclined to art/creativity and sometimes, music specifically. These people also have a very dreamy attraction about them. He also has his Venus trine ASC which can further add to this kind of creative vibe he gives off, but is also drawn to! It emphasizes the importance of aesthetics, art and creativity in his life. If you've never been on Renjun stan twt then you might not know that a lot of his fans see him as this incredibly dreamy and ethereal boy (as they should) and I can see why!
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*:・゚✧house and planet placements *:・゚✧
Scorpio moon, Sagittarius Pluto in 5th:
✦ yea... just yes. Okay but actually, if you read my NCT Dream Hexaco x Birth Chart analyses, I talked a lot about his chart already because I really like it. As someone with a Scorpio moon, I can't help but be really interested in how his plays out. And I have to say, I am quite attached to this theory because I think his scorpio moon in 5th just. makes. sense. I'm not going to go much into the descriptions of the placements, I'm mostly going to stick to the house influence. We know that Scorpio moons have really intense emotions, they internalize everything and are just highly sensitive people to their environments. Renjun has been incredibly open about his mental and emotional struggles ever since being a kid. I've honestly never heard an idol talk about their struggle like he has. He even opened up recently about how a few years ago he had an art therapist that really helped him and lowkey changed his life. I feel like a lot of this can be reflected in his 5th house. The house of creativity, expression, creation. His 5th cusp is also in Scorpio. 5th house in water tend to be really drawn to arts and music. Having a Scorpio moon, a moon sign that can be quite guarded, in a fire house can also explain his readiness/openness to share his emotions and art. Also let's not forget his chart ruler is his Scorpio moon in 5th! What I've wrote above are big themes in his life, which we've seen.
✦ As for the Pluto in 5th. Because his 5th house is in Scorpio this would mean the 5th ruler is in 5th. I know it might not make sense at first because it's pluto and pluto is misunderstood. But it makes perfect sense to me. Pluto in 5th is a deeply passionate and creative placement. It bring so much energy to this house, and can even create a borderline obsession with themes of this house. With creating and expressing. But I could also see having this and his scorpio moon in this house bringing so much energy, it just kind of adds to the confusion and intensity of a scorpio moons emotions and processing abilities, like, emotionally overwhelming. Scorpio moons always need an outlet and they usually figure that out the hard way at some point in life. The outlet can vary based off the chart, his is without a doubt connected to his art; whatever that may be to him.
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Aquarius Uranus in 8th:
✦ This part is brief because it's more of like, additional details to what's already in his chart. Something that is really well known about Renjun too is how much he is into space and aliens and stuff like that. He, once again, has been very open about it lol on variety shows I've seen him light up every time its briefly mentioned and he'll comment on how much he finds that stuff interesting. The 8th house is weird, it can manifest in a lot of different ways. The biggest point here for me is that the house is in Aquarius with Uranus here. I know someone with this placement too and, while they're open minded to astrology and tarot etc. it's a bit more focused on logic. I can't say for sure because I don't know him, but he kind of strikes me as the kind of person that would fight to death over aliens existing, but draws the line at astrology lol. I actually do think he would be open to astrology and tarot, but he'd need the right introduction to it. Anyways, yea this placement to me explains a lot of his interest in space and things we don't understand. He's expressed his curiosity in it. I think a lot of this is coming from his Scorpio moon and Pisces mercury/venus which is why I think it's just additional support.
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Pisces Mercury/Venus in 9th:
✦ THIS HOUSE right here... so much to say. Firstly, Pisces in 9th is probably one of the main culprits for his creativity, deep thinking and curiosity in the world. And more importantly: his imagination. I've mentioned this a lot when I talk about renjun but, he's very well known for his creativity, but I want to make it clear that there is a distinction between creation and imagination. His imagination is truly... on another level. Well, planet actually since it's pisces! Again, amongst fans it's really well known his imagination is just so unqiue. This is less about the 9th house and more about the fact that he has 2 pisces placements but it still affects it lol. He's very open about his imagination and speaks about it so naturally. He shared his drawing of a bird, hybrid, thing? and how it's an animal that steals your dreams in your sleep. Anyways, Pisces in 9th aren't necessarily the travelers we'd see with an air or fire sign here, but they like to travel mentally. He's also talked about how he's just in general a very curious person and you can tell his thoughts probably travel far and wide in his down time.
✦ What's really interesting to me about this house is his mercury is here and Mercury in 9th is a very specific kind of placement. It almost always guarantees an interest and talent in learning languages. I don't know if languages are necessarily a passion for him but he definitely is interested and cares about learning language and other cultures. He also did pick up on Korean and English with ease. Which also reminds me that, he actually was exposed to Korean at a young age because I'm pretty sure he went to a bilingual school (chinese and korean). This is also a big deal to me because planets in 9th, especially sun/mercury often indicate very early exposure to languages or other cultures... so yea that checks out. This can also be proved by looking at his IC in Virgo, which puts the ruler in 9th. His mercury is also sextile Jupiter. I also wanna comment that he has his Mercury in the 5th degree, I'm not great at degree theory yet but that feels significant to me. Of course we cannot forget his absolutely angelic voice. Renjun is also very well known for his stunning vocals. Not only are Pisces placements musically inclined but Pisces mercury are known for their sweet voices.
✦ As for the venus is 9th, I feel like I have more to say on his venus being in Pisces because that's where so much of his artistic creativity and imagination come from. But venus here adds to a lot of what I've written above, adding to his curiosity of the world. What I find most interesting about venus in 9th though, is it brings another inclination to art! He might really like art from different places in the world, or just exploring all types of art being very open minded to its different forms etc. Venus here also brings ease to language learning, and these people will naturally have other cultures and people from them as a big part of their life. I feel like, in general it's not surprising at all to me that as a foreign member (being from China), that he would have 9th house influence! It can often manifest as like.., travel, other languages, cultures and parts of the world etc. are just very naturally a part of their life. Some people never really contemplate life overseas or in another country. But for 9th housers, it's never not been an option. His 9th house influence can also make him a great teacher, mentor and just overall supportive person. We've seen some of this in the content he's made with NCT. Like trying to teach his members chinese with Chenle, except he was taking it way more seriously lol but was so supportive. He's also tried to get Jeno and Jisung involved in his art making, but keeping the process very open and fun.
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Aries sun, Taurus mars in 10th:
✦ This is the last part I'm going to cover because it is really just the icing on the cake to finish this up. The 10th house is considered pretty important when looking at celebrities/idols because it's very likely a lot of what we see from them is their 10th house influence. In the chart model I'm using for Renjun, it puts his MC in the very last degrees of Pisces, so there's a chance it's in Aries but either way with his sun and mars here they are still playing a big role. So for that reason, I'm opting for Pisces MC. I also think Pisces MC fits though because first it puts the ruler in his 7th house. Meaning he could really benefit and work well in something that involves a group! Because it's Pisces in Neptune, it also adds to his very ethereal vibe and how people just seem to love him wherever he goes. He's very magnetic and can come off as artistic and sensitive. He's known for being dreamy, unreal, artistic, sensitive.
✦ Again, we know he has an aries sun and taurus mars so I'm not going to explain them here, just how they affect the house, but having his these here makes so much sense to me too. Having planets in 10th also influences what kind of "vibe" people get from you, and what you're "known" for. Mars and Sun bring similar energy of being well known for for energy, drive, and even stage presence. Not being afraid to be on stage, being good with attention and spotlight. He's known for his kind of playful and childish behavior at times. He is charismatic, bold, brave, happy and upbeat. With the sun, he is again known for his creativity and creations and also self-expression.
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Thank you to anyone who read all this. I don't really expect many people to because I'm mostly writing this for my own curiosity and to finally just put this theory out there! Anyways, stan Renjun best boy <33
Thoughts and feedback are always welcome <3
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patchun · 3 years
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KIRBY STAR ALLIES: UNNECESSARILY DETAILED DEFINITIVE ARENA VIABILITY TIER LIST
After reading the title you may have a few questions. The first of which may be: why should I care what you think? Haha, well, reader who has likely never even played this game...
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I have invested just a little bit of time into this game. More, lately, as I recently spent about 30 hours playing this game to decide once and for all who the strongest and weakest characters are. Now, you say, patchun... you invested 30 hours into a game that's like four years old, wasn't that well reviewed, and has completely faded from relevance... all so you could make a tier list no one will care about? And I tell you. Yes. Yes I fucking did. With that out of the way, let's dive in.
The criterion I used to determine viability were damage output, safety, and versatility. Some characters, when played skillfully, can have crazy unexpected DPS. Some characters have fantastic air dodges or blocks that drastically increase their safety. Some characters absolutely destroy Whispy Woods, but then struggle against literally anyone else. All of this has been taken into account to make the following tier list.
Before we start I want to make a few notes: if playing with friends, a few positions change. When playing with friends, Rock, Gooey, and Painter move up to SSS tier. Painting rocks is legit one of the most fun and strongest ways to clear the true arena. Also, Meta Knight, when playing with friends, is in S tier. He has some very high damage output if he is safe, but can struggle to stay safe. I will be using the terms "decent, good, great, and insane" very deliberately.
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In order of goodness in all rows.
F Tier:
Those in F tier have pretty much nothing going for them.
Suplex is weak and constantly makes itself vulnerable.
Kirby is arguably the most skillful character in the game, but has decent damage when played well.
Fighter just has no good moves, its kit is a weak disaster.
Painter is slow and the minions it creates are weak and not versatile. Statue (down up B) is its best move by far, but the slow startup and inability to move during really hinders the move.
Bird has great mobility and lots of i-frames, but super low damage. I-frames don't matter when you're fighting the bosses for hours.
ESP, in order to do any good damage whatsoever, needs to charge it's ball of energy to max, and then manage to hit the enemy without touching anything else first. If you can do that, it's solid. But it's pretty rare that you can do that, and you're very vulnerable while charging.
Chef honestly should have gone at the top of F tier. It's dash midair B is strong and so is its spatula, though a bit boring. However, Chef has a large hurtbox and you can't play as Kirby instead.
D Tier:
D Tier clears are manageable but require almost perfect play. These characters have something going for them, but it usually isn't much and they're heavily outclassed in some way by other characters.
Beam is strong, but struggles due to lack of mobility. All of its attacks are good, but just good.
Staff is held back by the fact that its dash attack is immobile and has very few i-frames. Down-up B and Pole Vault into B are both good, but are outclassed.
Water has a strong attack in its down-up B, which creates a rainbow and does good damage. It also has a projectile that it can stay relatively safe while using. However, the projectile falls to the ground, meaning Water really struggles against enemies that stay high in the air. Anything out of reach of its rainbow attack will be quite a hassle to kill.
Sweep - I somehow cleared true arena with solo sweep, so maybe it's better than I was able to figure out? I tried for a while. It's hold and release B move, which sweeps and then flicks the broom, does good damage. Additionally, its dash attack is decent.
Fire has one decent move - its midair down B, which causes it to roll into an invincible ball of fire. If you use this near the ground, you'll then roll. If used on a big enemy, it can do good damage, but most of the time you won't be doing much damage at all. Barely makes D tier.
C Tier:
These characters are okay. They generally require a very patient and careful playstyle, but can do decent damage.
Rock can do damage. It has invincibility. It even has an up B in this game that is strong! But... well, unless you're playing with friends, you are going to be waiting around in rock form A LOT while playing this character. Waiting as two Bugsys hover around you, waiting for that perfect opportunity... to unrock, and then rock right back up. It's boring. But you can win with it.
Beetle can be strong, but it needs to be very careful about the opportunities it takes to attack, as many leave it vulnerable in end lag.
Hammer is the only copy ability here where you're better off playing as Kirby. Bonkers' hurtbox is big, why not just use Dedede?
Yoyo is like a better Bird. It has lots of mobility and i-frames, but only does decent damage (rather than Bird who does none). Its down up B is good damage on large enemies, but leaves it vulnerable.
B Tier:
Clearing the true arena with these characters will be a challenge, but keep at it and you can succeed for sure! These characters have at least something that is actually GOOD, without drawbacks.
Bomb is safe and does a surprising amount of damage. Simple, but effective, and you can aim which is a perk. Wind and ice weapons are great on this one.
Whip is what Yoyo and Staff want to be. Though it's dash B isn't as mobile as Yoyo's, it does a lot of damage, and has much more i-frames than Staff's. Its down up move does great damage and does not leave it uncomfortably airborne like Yoyo. And like Yoyo, it can grab and throw stars and enemies.
Spider is very safe and fun. All of its moves do good damage, and you can kite enemies and spam your dashing midair B. Webbed enemies that you hit into others will do a lot of damage, and jumping off of webs is a great way to deal with airborne bosses such as Kracko and Void. Spider works well as a teammate when playing with friends for this reason, as your webs can basically function as shields against some attacks. Also particularly noteworthy is that spider has a damage-immune shield (damage-immune shields can still be sucked, blown, and tornado'd) that can be used midair.
Parasol does insane damage with its down B attack, which also grants i-frames. This can be spammed to absolutely decimate health bars, and you can move during it to reposition. Parasol also has great mobility in it's dash B, midair dash B, and midair down B, all three giving i-frames - as well as a decently powerful throw. Parasol struggles most against Hyness, who rarely goes to the ground and as such does not present many opportunities to down B.
Sword has a good dash attack, and a great up B down B combo that can really put in work against larger bosses. It is vulnerable, however, at the end of the combo, and is not great at dealing with midbosses and smaller enemies. It's midair dash B is also good, but not nearly as good as a certain other character. Wind can help Sword by increasing it's mobility.
Plasma is a great ability so long as you don't mind destroying your thumbs! For those who don't know, Plasma in this game works like this: as you move the joystick, Plasma will build up static electricity. This has three levels, and when it's fully charged, it can be fired out as a powerful circular bolt. Until it is used, the static buildup also functions as a shield, and will allow Plasma to warp instead of dodge up to three times. Plasma is good at dealing with Kracko, Void, and Hyness thanks to it's up B, which sends the circular bolt upwards, and is safe against other enemies. But yeah, you have to kill your thumbs. Mine hurt right now.
Cutter is good, but not as good as bomb.
Gooey is just slightly better rock. Most of Gooey's moves don't do much damage. Gooey's rock can be painted. Gooey also has a damage-immune shield, but it doesn't really matter because you might as well rock up.
A Tier
These characters are legitimately good, but there is a lot of variety in exactly how the characters in this category are good. It is organized by how likely you are to be able to clear with them. Now that I'm getting into good characters: I played every character in this category with every single element to deduce which element goes best with each one. I technically have them all tiered, too, but I figured that was too much for anyone to read.
Adeleine's down B's minions do a surprising amount of damage (great), and are quite versatile, even being able to hit airborne enemies such as Kracko and Void. She also has the best shield in the game, completey invincible and unable to be hit by anything to my knowledge (possibly Morpho Knight tornado), and a good air attack option thanks to Ribbon. She doesn't have any i-frames, so she may require a bit of waiting - like Rock, but that's only if you put yourself in that situation.
Susie (Ice) has shots that drop large balls of ice at the end. She easily destroys most bosses with these. Business Suit has i-frames at the beginning of its spin and a very powerful midair down B, also reducing damage and preventing negative status effects. Susie will likely get hit because of her massive hurtbox in Business Suit mode, but it won't matter as much thanks to the damage reduction.
Dark Meta Knight (Fire) has two great moves in his charge Bs. Fire was chosen as the best element for him because it expands the radius of his charge B. His dash and aerial attacks are great, especially if you can land his dash combo. Dark Meta Knight also has a damage-immune shield.
Chilly is surprising in its placement, but its midair B does insane damage and it has a solid kit to boot. Instead of normal dash B, Chilly needs to use dash down B for an briefly invincible and mobile ice ball. Chilly also has a damage-immune shield.
Daroach has a lot of options and all of them are great. Fire bombs destroy Whispy and Kracko, Ice Laser easily clears midbosses and does great damage to everyone else, Squeaks are second only to Adeleine's minions in their effectiveness, and the Triple Star is a great tool for staying safe while dealing good damage. Daroach doesn't have a special shield, but he does have a three-use, chainable warp as opposed to an air dodge, which if used correctly should be able to save you from any bad situation.
Bandana Dee (Ice) is stronger than any other Bandana Dee variant (you may notice a pattern like that...). Bandana Dee's dashing midair b can be spammed and does great damage, like a machine gun, but is held back by the fact that you inevitably touch the ground after 4-6 spears. Bandana Dee's strongest move is probably its down B, which can also serve nicely as a dash attack, as it has great mobility and i-frames. Bandana Dee (Wind) has a good charge B, but wonky throwing spears and lackluster damage output when compared to Ice overall.
Ninja (Ice) has potentially the most DPS in the game. By being near an enemy and pressing and holding B briefly, you do a double slashing move that creates an ice pillar that constantly damages an enemy. You can beat Whispy with this in under 20 seconds! Shurikens are good for hitting faraway enemies, and Ninja is also able to use Substitute Jutsu if it block before getting hit. The reason Ninja is not S tier is because it struggles against airborne enemies and is not able to utilize its full potential unless it catches an enemy standing still. High skill cap, but high reward.
Meta Knight has insane DPS with his dashing midair B spam. Ice and Wind are best, depending on who you're struggling with. Meta Knight can struggle to do damage while also keeping himself safe, and for that reason is best when playing with friends. His down up B, condor dive, grants i-frames and is usable in the air. His counter also does great damage.
Dedede (Shock) has great damage in his kit and a lot of i-frames, including his dash B and iconic down up B. However, he is hindered by his slow movement and large hurtbox.
S Tier
These characters will have no problem clearing if you play them right, but are they broken? Considering what is to come... nahhhh.
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Marx (Ice, Wind, Water) has two great moves in his black hole which can do insane damage and is invincible, and his dive which can do great damage and is invincible. Marx pretty much always wants to stay in the air, and his midair B has a lot of variety depending on your element, but it is most notably a very safe move. Marx has a one time warp in the air that can be chained but has to be timed perfectly in order to retain invincibility, and his main drawback is that all of his powerful, i-frame granting moves tend to be pretty vulnerable with end lag. For that reason, Marx needs to be played patiently.
Rick & Kine & Coo have the best dash attacks in the game, both midair and grounded. Rick (grounded) will turn into a mobile rock, completely invincible, dealing a lot of damage, and also able to move, while Kine (midair) has a long spin attack with plenty of i-frames. Rick conveniently also bounces off the top of the heads of enemies, Kine has a projectile that can travel a fair distance but is weak, Rick can melt ice with his fire, Coo can cleanse dirty food with his flop. These guys also have a damage-immune shield.
Taranza is a case where all of his moves are great, but none of them are insane. Put them together, though, and you'll clear bosses safely. Taranza can kind of do several things at once, and I'd recommend down up B + dash B + up B. Utilizing all of this damage at once will destroy bosses quickly. When you don't feel you're safe as Taranza, midair up B and midair down B can give you control and hit from a distance.
SS Tier
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Magolor's down up B is insane. He summons a giant sword that takes up the entire screen, then slashes it and hits everything for insane damage while being invincible, then can cancel that sword into itself. He has an invincible dash move, by far the best air dodge in the game, a black hole that he can summon just like Marx, and a powerful fire projectile that can melt ice. And that's not even everything - so how is this not the most broken character in the game?
SSS Tier
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Somehow, dear reader, you have made it this far. The best character in Star Allies, even better than Magalor, are the Three Mage Sisters is ZAN MOTHERFUCKING PARTIZANNE. Zan does not care what you can throw at her, she has something to handle it, and chances are she doesn't need to use it. Because Zan's down up B is a giant piercing laser that covers the entire screen, grants i-frames, can be cancelled into itself, does insane damage, and can be moved during. There are just no enemies that can even pose a challenge to this character. There are no enemies that can even damage her. My highest score in Star Allies was me goofing around and playing solo Three Mage Sisters and just repeatedly spamming this move over and over again! The funny thing is, her other moves are good too, and so are her sisters to an extent! But Zan is great because she also has really fast movement as well as a warp similar to Marx and Daroach's. In a pinch she can relocate incredibly quickly, and she has no need for a shield because her warp, when you're used to it, is probably the easiest to chain into itself.
So yeah this was my Star Allies tier list. If you've read this far I'm actually amazed. Thanks. Star Allies is at its most fun, I feel, when playing with friends. If you'd like me to talk in more detail (but not as much as this post) about some friend strategies and which ones are best, such as painting rocks, let me know, I guess.
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eyayah-oya · 3 years
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Carry You With Me Always
Buckle up everyone, because I have three prompts today!
Cloneship Week 2021 - Tattoos - @cloneshipweek
Rex/Echo
Rating: G
Warnings: very vague references to something bad happening to Tup and Dogma in the past
Ao3 link--Ao3 has some world building notes about Tup, Dogma, and Mom Echo if you want to check those out!
           Lazy days were Echo’s favorite.  They always had been.  Especially the days when Rex didn’t have to be a commander masquerading as a captain.  (Echo still didn’t understand how hard it was to sign off on a promotion for Rex. Skywalker knew how to sign his own name.)  It was the third day of leave on Coruscant, just when the duties required of the commanding officers tapered off to allow them time off just like their men.
           Rex entered the officer barracks with two cups of caf and a datapad tucked under his arm.  He must have recently taken a water shower, as he looked cleaner than the sonics were able to achieve.  For a moment, Echo mourned the opportunity to shower with Rex but they figured there would be plenty of opportunities in the future.
           “Morning,” Echo called, their voice deep and raspy from sleep.
           He looked up, though Echo noted he didn’t actual startle. Rex only got that jumpy when he hadn’t been sleeping, so he at least got some rest since the 501st arrived on Coruscant.  That was good.  Echo had been worried when Rex hadn’t shown up the past two nights to the bunk they shared when not on the Resolute.
           A warm smile, reserved just for Echo, softened Rex’s face and filled Echo with happiness.  “Morning, Echo,” he responded.  With ease, he set the two caf cups down on his desk without spilling a drop, the datapad following immediately after.  Then, with slumped shoulders and tired eyes, he fell onto the bed beside Echo and nuzzled their shoulder.
           “Meetings go badly?” they mused as ran their fingers across the closely cropped blonde hair.
           “Eh, not too bad.  Just long.  General Mundi preached about the value of life again and Gree got into an argument with General Fisto over some obscure plant the 41st found on their last campaign.  I think if they’d been in the same room, it would have become a physical fight.”
           Echo snorted.  “That would definitely be interesting to watch.  What did General Unduli do?”
           “I’m 90% sure she was either sleeping standing up, or talking to General Kenobi telepathically.  Kenobi kept snickering every once in a while, so I wouldn’t put it past them.”  Rex shook his head as best as he could from where his face was smooshed against Echo’s shoulder.  “Anything big happen with the boys?”
           “Denal and Attie got arrested again.  I’m pretty sure they’re trying to court the intake officer in the Corrie’s brig.  I escorted Dogma and Tup around the city the first day and ended up taking them to Tatta. You know, the vod who gives the best tattoos?”
           Rex hummed in acknowledgment.  “Can’t say I’ve ever had the pleasure, but I’ve heard he’s one of the best on Coruscant.  Did Tup and Dogma end up getting any tattoos?”
           “Tup got a little tear below his eye and Dogma got a really cool one over his face.  Kix is gonna have a conniption when he sees that; you know how he is with large facial tattoos,” Echo said with amusement.  “Dogma struggled a bit at first, but Tup talked him through his anxiety and held his hand.”
           “That’s good.  I’ll make sure to pair them up on campaigns.  Aren’t they twins?”
           Echo nodded.  While not numerous, there were several sets of twins in the GAR.  Commanders Thire and Thorn in the Corrie Guard, Kix and Captain Keeli, Tup and Dogma, Lupis and Canis in the Wolfpack, and of course Echo and their twin Fives. Commanding officers tried to keep twins together as much as possible, though it doesn’t always happen, like with Kix and Keeli.
           “You could have warned me they were former Corries,” Echo grumbled.  “Technically I was escorting them, but it was mostly them dragging me all over the city. Although, they did take me to this diner with the most amazing nerf burgers.  I’ll have to take you sometime.  They’re sweet kids, but they also could use a lot more support than the average vod. Something happened to them when they were with the Guard.”
           Rex sighed.  “I know. Fox briefed me on their situation. I won’t tell you what happened exactly—they should do that themselves—but it was bad.  We’ll take care of them, I promise.”
           “Good.”  Echo nodded once and wrapped their left arm around Rex’s shoulder and pulled him in closer. Rex flung his own arm back over Echo. Immediately they hissed as their right pec flared with a stinging pain.
           Immediately, Rex sat up in concern.  “Echo?  What’s wrong?”
           Echo grinned sheepishly.  “Well, Tup and Dogma were really nervous to get tattoos since the Guard isn’t allowed to have tattoos.  And I might have gotten a tattoo to help them be more comfortable.”
           “Really?” Rex grinned.  Without hesitation, he gently placed his hand over Echo’s pec, exactly in the same spot he had left a handprint on their first set of armor. He didn’t have to guess what tattoo they had decided to get.  Echo arched into the touch, the sting sharp and pointed and somehow exactly perfect.  “Can I see it?” Rex asked softly.
           “Help me get the shirt off, and yes,” Echo answered. They surged upwards, ignoring the pain from his tattoo, so they could press a heated and soft kiss to Rex’s lips.
With far more reverence than they usually have time for, Rex slid his fingers under the hem of their loose shirt, trailing over the firm muscles and warm skin. Echo shivered deliciously and lightly sucked on his lower lip, rather than help their boyfriend in any way. Inch by inch, more skin was revealed until Rex pulled away to tug the shirt over Echo’s head.  They helped, lifting their arms over their head to allow the shirt to slide free.
           In the exact same placement as their armor, a handprint had been tattooed completely in a darker blue than they used for their armor. The dark blue color the Rishi eel’s blood had been.  The permanent mark on their skin was a bold proclamation of who Echo belonged to.  A way to inform everyone who they went home to and who they would always go back for.  That day on Rishi was life-changing for both of them for more than one reason. It was the day Echo had lost their batchmates, save for Fives, and the day they had both joined the 501st. It was the day Echo had first met Rex, a young shiny who was in awe of the legendary captain.  And it was the day that began Echo’s journey of falling completely in love with the man behind the legend.
           Rex traced the edges of the tattoo gently, barely ghosting over the skin.  It was still swollen and red from the needle, but that would go away in a couple more days. Echo didn’t mind a little bit of pain if it meant they could wear Rex’s mark in his skin as well as their armor.
           “Do you like it?” they asked cheekily, already knowing the answer.
           “I love it.  They did a really good job.  Does it hurt a lot?” Rex asked.
           Echo wobbled his head from side to side.  “A little, but it’s not bad.  Barely noticeable, really.”
           “Good.”  And with that, Rex pressed his hand against the mark and pushed Echo back onto the bed until he was leaning directly over them.  “Because I need to show you exactly how much I like it.”
           They eagerly reached up and wrapped their arms around Rex’s neck, pulling him down against them, though they both were careful not to dislodge his hand from its place on Echo’s chest.  Echo pressed their forehead against Rex’s, letting them bask in the peaceful moment instead of the hurried seconds they only managed to snatch while out on the front.  Eventually, the keldabe shifted to the more traditional type of kissing, their tongues tangling together languidly.  They had all day and the rest of the tenday to relax and enjoy.  They could take their time, and Echo couldn’t be happier.
           “I love you,” they whispered between kisses.
           “I love you, my eyayah.  My Echo with my mark,” Rex answered before diving back into their mouth and showing them exactly how much he needed and loved them.
           Echo shivered with delight, the intimacy of the moment barricading everything else from the Captain’s quarters.  For a time, they existed in a bubble, cut off from the galaxy and perfectly at peace together.
           Then, the bubble popped.
           “Does the Captain really have to know?  I mean, it’s not like he’d be surprised.”
           “Fives, don’t be an idiot.  You know he always needs to know when we brawl with the Wolfpack so he can keep Commander Wolffe from killing us.”
           “But if we go in there, Echo will kill us.”
           “I’d rather die by Echo’s hand than by Commander Wolffe’s! He’s scary!”
           “Oh, lighten up, Jesse!  I wouldn’t mind fighting with the Commander!”
           “ . . . Hardcase . . . “
           “What?  It’s true!”
           “I’m gonna tell him!”
           “Fives, don’t you dare!”
           With matching, heavy sighs, Echo and Rex broke apart and turned to the door.  Yes, Echo loved lazy days.  But those days never lasted long, and they loved their brothers just as much.
           “I’ll go deal with Hardcase’s unacknowledged romantic feelings for Commander Wolffe.  You need to get some sleep,” Echo said, giving Rex a soft kiss on the cheek as they grabbed their t-shirt.  “Think I can make Jesse prefer he’d faced the Commander?”
           Rex smirked and flopped down by Echo’s side instead of on top of them.  “I know you will.  I’ll be here when they’re all suitably punished.  Come back and we can finish what we started.”  His eyes were dark with hunger and love, sending a shiver through Echo.  That was a promise they wouldn’t pass up for anything.
           “I’ll be back after I finish wrangling the children.  I’ll probably drag Dogma and Tup along so they can laugh at Fives, Jesse, and Hardcase,” Echo said with a grin.  They pulled their shirt over their head and climbed over Rex to stand up.  “They could use the enrichment.”
           Rex only laughed.  Lazy days really were the best.
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thanksjro · 3 years
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More Than Meets the Eye #32 - Nobody’s Ever Actually Dead in Comic Books
Our band of merry guys-who-weren’t-on-the-Lost-Light-in-issue-#1 approach the shattered husk of the Lost Light, in a gruesome scene that is only slightly marred by the graphic design.
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Font doesn’t really suggest danger, does it? Here, for comparison, is something I slapped together in fifteen minutes (including recreation of background) using a font I got off a free font site.
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Now, one could say that my version is rather derivative, flat, and arguably cliche, but you know what else it is? Appropriate for the fucking mood of having found a destroyed, hemorrhaging ship after everyone you knew disappeared.
I’m available, IDW! Hit me up.
Theorizing that this is the ship that the Coffin Rodimus came from- remember that? It was a few issues ago- the gang flies in for a closer look. The ship blood is actually something called quantum foam, which allows for quantum space travel to happen. It’s not supposed to be outside of the quantum quills, but the ship’s pretty junked up, so it is.
Because the ship is so very full of holes, the gang can set down for repairs pretty easy. They land in Swerve’s, finding it in less-than-pristine condition. They also find evidence of Crosscut having gotten creative, as a poster for the play he was working on is hung up in the room. Considering he was still writing it when he disappeared, this might seem a bit odd. But then you remember that this is a ship from the future, and it stops being so odd.
Because this is a future ship, with evidence that Crosscut did some stuff, it stands to reason that, at some point, everyone is going to come back from being disappeared.
Just to die.
Which is a bummer, but one crisis at a time.
Megatron disembarks the Rod Pod, with Ravage following, and everyone is just a touch put off by the duo. Everyone but Nautica, who proceeds to commit a microaggression.
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Nautica, that’s Soundwave’s father you’re petting like a common animal.
Ravage, angered by this over-familiarity, swats at her. Skids questions letting an active Decepticon roam around, but Megatron brushes off these concerns, saying that finding any still-living crew members is more important. With that, the search begins.
The gang splits up to look for clues, despite Riptide thinking this is a horrible idea. They’re on the clock for this one- the quantum foam is liable to explode if it touches anything, and there’s an awful lot of the stuff floating around right now.
Nightbeat and Nautica leave the rest of the group to their own work, seeing as Nautica has the most appropriate alt-mode for traversing the gaps in the ship.
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Man, that’s pretty cool. Wish Nautica hadn’t been regulated to being “girl best friend” for her character arcs, I would have loved to see her do some neat stuff for her own development. Guess that’s what happens when you get introduced as main cast late, and have to compete with all the faves who had dozens of issues to be established and who also don’t have to deal with the whole “token girl character” thing.
The rest of the gang- Megatron, Ravage, Riptide, Skids, and Getaway- start looking in the area they’re already in. Seems a little lopsided, but whatever.
Ravage finds someone almost immediately, identifying Ultra Magnus through smell alone. Only, it isn’t just Ultra Magnus.
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The Magnus armor lays not terribly far away, having had its hands cut off to prevent the recall signal from being activated before being gut-murdered.
Gut-murdered wiTH A FUSION CANNON, MEGATRON
Of course, Megatron was forced to destroy his fusion canon after it was decided he would be joining the Lost Light, but you can buy these things off the black market like it’s nothing. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if Brainstorm had a few stashed in his lab.
As it currently stands, nobody can trust the guy who has a storied past of killing Autobots, on a future ship where the only folks who could stop him are dead. Megatron, at least, has the good sense to not argue this fact, and suggests that the boys lock both Ravage and himself up until they suss out exactly what happened.
Meanwhile, over with Nautica and Nightbeat, we run through all the weird shit that’s happened in the last day or so.
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Nautica, you’ve been on this ship for months now. How did you miss the fact that the only couple within 800 miles got annihilated by way of Phase Sixer? I feel like that attack might have come up at some point.
Since they’re on the subject of spouses, Nightbeat asks Nautica if she’s married, or if she has friends. Though noting that such a direct line of questioning might get him slapped with someone else, Nautica reveals that she is single, though she does have a best friend. Nightbeat is also single, probably because he pulls shit like this.
While this conversation is going on, Nautica uses her Sonic Screwdriver wrench to open a door with the literal push of a button. Brainstorm tricked out her wrench so hard it turned into a magic wand, which is good, because they’re going to need all the help they can get now that space is literally warping around them thanks to the quantum foam.
Nautica kicks something on the elevator, and that something turns out to be Brainstorm’s mysterious briefcase. Too bad Swerve is gone, he was so invested in what it contained. Luckily, Nightbeat is just as interested.
Back over on the other side of the ship, it seems as though Megatron kept his word about not resisting, as both he and Ravage have been locked in a cabinet. Wonder how that’s going for them.
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Oh, better than I expected.
Ravage is fucking pissed that Megatron joined the Autobots, thereby turning his back on everyone who supported his cause during the last four million years. Despite this grievous betrayal though, the Decepticons haven’t stopped moving. Turns out, Galvatron’s in charge now.
But only if Autobot Megatron isn’t some sort of ploy.
It’s at this point that we learn just why Ravage is here to begin with- to see if Megatron’s truly given up the Decepticons, and if he has, to murder him. But first he’d like to know why this is happening.
Megatron views himself as a monster, having perpetuated a war that ended the lives of billions, destroyed the Cybertronian way of life, ostracized his race from the rest of the universe, and killing just to have something to do. He doesn’t like feeling this way about himself, so he decided to walk away from that life by joining the other team.
Don’t think it’s quite that easy to do, but okay.
Ravage isn’t so sure that this change of heart is going to stick, still convinced that Megatron will snap back to his old self with just a bit more time. Problem is, Megatron may not have a ton of that resource left.
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Didn’t they build that body in like an hour so you wouldn’t die? Yeah, no wonder it feels as ill-fitting as a twenty-dollar suit. Thing’s probably made out of pig iron and duct tape.
The lights come on before further self-reflection can be done, and the duo realize that they’ve had guests this whole time.
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Someone put the kettle on.
Obviously some fucked up shit happened on this ship. Megatron isn’t so sure that it’s him who did these dirty deeds, however, as he reaches into Ratchet’s mouth and pulls out his brain. Which feels like something that doesn’t really absolve one of guilt, but okay.
Also, ew.
Back with Nautica and Nightbeat, things are getting weird.
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Now, this sequence might seem confusing at first blush, but this is because the laws of reality are collapsing around them. Going by clues in the background, we can find the proper, linear progression of time, and thus is conversation. This is what is actually happening:
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With the mystery of Brainstorm’s briefcase eluding us once again, we move on to see more graphic aftermaths of violence. Poor Tailgate has been nailed to the wall with a chunk of a metal beam that’s almost as big as he is. The mood lighting for this scene is gorgeous, but I’ve hit my limit for exposing y’all to gore for this issue, so you’ll just have to trust me on this one. Then they find something even more interesting.
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Who’s ready for Under Cold Blue Stars… 2!
Back over on the opposite side of the ship, Riptide’s found something nasty. It’s a bunch of dead bodies!
Including, uh, Pipes.
Who already died a while ago.
Hm.
All the bodies in this room are in their alts, and it looks like they’ve all been shot and drilled into, for some reason. Skids brings up that he had a friend who could identify the placement of any robot’s brain module just by knowing what they turned into. Then he reaches into a corpse to see what the drill-hole’s all about. It makes him sick, though maybe not for the reason you might think. He gets on the phone with Nightbeat, who’s called to tell them that they’ve found Overlord.
Still locked in his weird body harness.
And decapitated.
Megatron is on the other line, calling because he’s figured out the same thing Skids has. Someone paid a visit to this ship. Someone nasty.
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The gang regroups, and Nautica gets the basics on the DJD, because I guess nobody’s mentioned them even in passing in the last six months, either.
God, what do they even talk about on this ship? Certainly not their feelings.
The reason that one room was filled with alt-modes was because of Tarn’s addiction to transforming; t-cogs are easier to remove when they’ve been used recently.
We get a quick 4/5ths-page gore-fest, then it’s back to making it all about Megatron.
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Maybe you should have thought about that before you FUCKING DEFECTED, YOU POOL NOODLE.
Nightbeat’s beginning to put two and two together. There’s an Overlord in the basement. That shouldn’t be, because Overlord got exploded by Chromedome when he mercy-killed Rewind. Something is off about the past of this ship.
Before he can establish his MTMTE everybody-lives-but-then-dies AU though, the quantum foam fucks with the ship. These sons of guns need to get the hell out of here, pronto.
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Oh god, what now?
Ravage smells someone inside the Magnus armor, someone who isn’t a part of the usual nesting doll lineup. Megatron reaches into the Crackerjack box and pulls out one hell of a prize.
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HE LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES
Chromedome would be so thrilled, if he still existed.
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energyanon · 3 years
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ITS TIME FOR:
THE SEBASTIAN STAN MEGAMIX:
Don’t you dare go through the rest of the reading without getting yourself hyped with the link first cause I spent OVER TWO HOURS ON THIS READING AND YOU WILL DO WHAT I ASK DAMMIT.
* https://youtu.be/nendMLrpI-s*
ALSO: no one kill me, there is a very unpopular opinion that unfolded. I just feel the energy, don’t avada kadavra the messenger. It’s not my fault if it doesn’t match your ideal, man.
I’ve put Seb down first - just on his own.
I know I’ve said he seems like a sad bitch, and this might be because it was his birthday like.. what yesterday? And maybe I’m in his current energy (I’ll check on a different timeline) but…
Fans are gonna say it’s fake - he’s happy.
He’s really content. He’s swaying a bit which is why I feel like there’s like a tiny bit of drunk-ness hence why I feel like I’m in his CURRENT energy, but there’s 0 fault. He is so peaceful and happy and content. There’s nothing else to it.
So I closed that off, switched him over to “2021 energy” just to see how he’s been going for the most part rather than right now. And there was an immediate change, specifically to the middle of my head, a sort of pressure there. Heavy eyes, not as happy and starting to get hot. Specifically in shoulders and arms and hands. Hands is usually anxiety, shoulders and arms… I don’t usually get. The happiness is there but the smiles are fleeting. Otherwise it’s not sad it’s just… floating through, getting by. Pressure in my head is getting worse though and now my back is itchy. With energy letting me know that, I can only assume there needs to be a placement of something behind him.
Ok, placement behind him whatever it is, is DRAGGING him down. Mood changed entirely. And he’s being pulled BACK to this thing almost like he wants to fall into it. He’s really focused on in front of him, not quite scared, but eyes wide. Panicked. He does NOT want to look behind him.
The feeling now is.. almost a depression; tired. And he’s looking on the ground now. That almost always means that he’s looking at someone who has died.
Guys? Any death around him recently??
YOOO OK THATS FUCKED AS SOON AS I WROTE THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING IN MY ROOM THAT MOVED ITSELF WITH A GIANT CLANK 👀 I AM NOT DOING A SEANCE TONIGHT FOLKS I AM OUTTIE.
CLOSING THAT ONE OFF REAL FUCKING FAST JOLY SHIT. Gimme a sec to get whatever the fuck that is outta here.
Ok no that’s a lie. Why does it feel like Grandparent Stan.
Guys, has one of the grandparent Stan’s died? It’s not a bad energy, but to him it feels like depression. I’m taking a moment just to speak to them cause they clearly wanted my attention. I tried to end it there cause I don’t fuck with spirits, but as soon as I tried to close my apps it said “no” really sweetly, so…
Ok so I just spent about half an hour doing a mini constellation for them. When it comes to grief and also the ~spirit~ letting itself be known I knew they were gonna stay around until I helped. It was pretty personal, but I got them through it. Felt a lot like a grandma from one of the sides I’m not sure who. Gave me some very cute images of her and little Seb playing in a park and cooking 🥺 Seb cried alot, but was also VERY happy to see her. They said their bits, he knows she’s a support. She’s agreed to be there for the rest of the reading however he needs her. They’re currently holding hands in letting him keep her there.
Let’s move on.
Didnt think I would cry in this one but here I am.
Ok I’ve got him in his previous position, Grandma?Stan is behind him, we’re moving on.
He feels A lot better now that the grief has been sorted through. Feels fresh.
Career/fans came up in that mini constellation so I will put that down next.
The only thing he brought up about the fans was he feels like they’re ripping him apart. He feels like everyone wants a piece of him and he can’t give them that.
I put career down. Career is in front of him facing him to his left. The fans, surprise surprise, wanted to be right on top of him. And he is CHOKING with that being the case. Throat clamping up, airways are BLOCKED. I’m moving them off.
Even then, the fans are too close, Seb has taken two steps back.
Even then they’re still too close. He’s moved to behind career, so career is blocking the view of him and the fans.
Here in this position he’s standing like a statue, he feels like he’s successfully hidden and it’s here he’s gonna stay.
Moving to career:
Career is super confused at where he went and also feels like fans are a bit close. also feels like it is better than the fans. Kind of giving them a look of disgust. Career seems to understand that the fans are gonna be stuck close to them but they think of them a bit like they’re looking at something a bit dirty.. like career doesn’t want to get their hands on them. Career wants to turn to Seb.
Career is bigger than Seb by quite a bit. Not as overbearing as Chris’s career was though, and seems to be on good terms with him. It doesn’t have any feelings of animosity towards Seb, it’s just looking at him like “you good?” And then looking back at the fans and being like “cause of THEM? Really? Lol ok”
But career feels fine to block him off from fans, that’s ok it doesn’t mind. Career doesn’t want Seb to take his eyes off it though. Eyes on career. Keep your eyes on career.
Don’t look anywhere else. Eyes on career.
Back to Seb:
Seb agrees, eyes on career. He’s very obedient to that.
There’s nothing else for me to do with these two so I went to see if he wanted to look past career at fans. He didn’t. Eyes on career.
(What have you guys done to him, i followed him back in CA:WS and he wasn’t like this at ALL. Damn guys.)
I went back to fans and they just kept making the same movement, they wanted to be on top of him. Close wasn’t close enough. I’m not moving them back there though cause then it will just go in circles and we want MOVEMENT.
I’m leaving fans there.
I am adding GF
Ale? Is that what people call her?
Ale has placed herself behind career. She is currently fully in the fans view, but she’s facing career and seb, career has back to her, seb is facing her way.
She seems to know that career is most important and she’s ok with that. She’s kind of expectantly trying to get his attention though. Like the feeling of waiting for someone to get off work and waiting for them at the door. She’s just waiting. She looks at fans like they’re beneath her though. Doesn’t like them. Not dislike, but they’re beneath her, she doesn’t need to interact.
No other movement from her besides the fact that she wants seb to move over to her so he can be by her side.
I went to the fans and they’re just all BORING their eyes into her. No need to even look at seb it’s ALE. No movement from them otherwise.
Moving back to seb:
Eyes on career. Eyes on career, except ale is more interesting now and he wants to shuffle over her way, but also career? But also ale.
He doesn’t want to go the obvious way, he kind of wants to sneak past career.
I’m gonna sneak him past career.
He’s doing it sheepishly and very slowly. Like a little boy shuffle.
Ok seb is now in front of ale, career is behind him, backs faced to each other.
Ale is taller to him. (Usually means he thinks highly of her OR that she’s in a more powerful position in the relationship but it doesn’t feel like that he’s acting like a simp)
So weird this is such simp behaviour, I moved ale back a little cause they were practically on top of each other but he was like “noooooo” and moved himself closer again.
Like dude you’re practically breathing in her organs. Chill.
It’s weird though Hes not feeling like He wants to cuddle her or be anything other than just close to her. He seems to be completely mesmerised by her. Short breaths though, he’s not relaxed. But he cannot take his eyes off her.
Moving to Ale:
She doesn’t really take her eyes off him either but she’s much more easily distracted.
She’s very fond of him though. She feels very content. She likes him, she’s happy there.
No more movement from either of them so let’s ask questions.
I asked both parties if they loved each other. Ale said yes, seb said I don’t know.
It’s also not “I don’t know” in a 😬 way it’s.. a curious and nice “I don’t know” kind of like.. “I’ve never felt like THIS before.. is THIS love?”
He does feel a bit blocked though, like he’s not admitting to himself 100% but it’s so bizzare his feelings and his words aren’t matching up cause I feel so fond of this woman so why is he saying I DONT KNOW?!
Ok I see the problem now. I just said one word:
Q:
Marriage? Ale said “yes please :)”
And sebs immediate reaction was 😳 😬
Ya boy. Has commitment issues. He’s making sense now. I swear to god if he has Gemini in his chart.. I swear.
Q: ale, why did you get with seb?
He seemed nice 😊 (also an image of a yacht on the water popped up?)
Q: do you have pure intentions towards him
She… didn’t know how to answer that, it was a very hesitant yes.
Q: are you with him for the money?
The answer was a pretty clear yes but she tried to cover her tracks with “it’s nice 😊”
Q: If Sebastian lost everything would you still love him?
No hesitation it was still yes.
So what I’m getting here is she does like the money, she does like him, money is a main factor but… she genuinely likes him I don’t know what to tell you guys.
Q: seb do you like ale?
Yes
Q: why did you start dating her?
She’s hot! (He laughed at that) and then said she’s funny, she’s cute, she’s sweet… great body
Q: do you think you’ll spend your life with her?
Same reaction as the marriage question it was a very hesitant “I’m not sureeeeee….”
The energy is drifting a bit now so I’m ending it here:
Q: is there anything else you want to say.
I wish they would leave her alone
Q: do you want them to leave you alone?
No, I can handle it. They can do what they want, I just want them to leave her alone.
That’s it!
That’s all I got.
I didn’t get any bad vibes from Ale at all.
She seems to like him. I don’t know why everyone is so mad?
Seb also seems to like her. I’d be surprised if he doesn’t have Gemini in the big three or Venus, cause that’s exactly like me, ive got Leo Venus, cancer sun that makes me all lovey physically but in my gemini moon and merc make my head like MMmmmMmmMmM BUT DO I ACTUALLY LIKE THEM THOUGH? Haha.
Someone look up his chart for me pls.
Edit: I did just realise I didn’t even ask if it was PR. Sorry, my bad. Assess the above how you will.
That also didn’t go how I thought it would at all. I know you guys thought he was super sad and making all the wrong decisions, but he really only seemed dragged down from something else entirely. That being said I didn’t add the agency you guys warned me about but it also didn’t pop up at all. Maybe in the next one. I did make a couple of mistakes here in terms of probably not asking the right things that will make the entire situation clearer. Sorry guys when I’m in it I’m only thinking of what pops up and going where the energy leads me. 😶
Peace ✌🏼
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helena-thessaloniki · 3 years
Text
Command suits him.
Short snippet taking place in the hour before they infiltrate Liberio. Inspired by Mikasa absolutely kicking ass against the War Hammer Titan while the others sat back and idly watched in confidence. Jeankasa!
Rivamika followers, please forgive me ahah 
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Command suits him. Mikasa watches more than she listens, unsurprised that the others devote their undivided attention and ask their questions without concern. They trust him, even those who have never fought beside him, and she doesn’t fault them for it. It’s the thoughtful but placid manner he strokes his short beard over his jawbone. How he maintains eye-contact and doesn’t blink when addressing risks or potential for casualties. And despite height that demands presence, there’s an easy-going roll about his broad shoulders.
No, it’s not just the all-black infiltration garb. The days of him flustering over horse-face insults have passed.
Jean used to be willfully arrogant. She thinks that he probably still is, but not like when they were cadets. What used to be adolescent selfishness, a short temper and sharp tongue, has matured to more of a keen awareness. His conviction is grief-shadowed. What is worth knowing has been learned through loss; there’s an undercurrent of humility in his confidence now.
“Wait a minute,” someone says sharply, and for the first time it’s an interruption that invokes actual disagreement.
“What is it, Lobov?” Jean is unbothered at the outcry and waits patiently for the critique.
It’s a good thing she started to pay attention. Lobov not only turns toward her and looks directly at her, but he also lifts a hand to hesitantly gesture at her. The entire squad follows his line of vision.
“You’re saying the plan is to basically sit back on the rooftops and watch while Mikasa single-handedly takes on the War Hammer Titan?”
Mikasa remains impassive. The question wasn’t directed to her.
“Not single-handedly,” Jean answers, focusing on Lobov until the previous Garrison soldier turns back to him. “Eren will be with her.”
“But you said she’s only to intervene if Eren shifts and if his titan loses,” Lobov adds earnestly.
Jean’s laugh is short and dull. “No. I said if Eren’s titan appears like he’s losing. Eren starts to lose all the time. But he doesn’t lose.”  
A few feet over to her left, Connie snorts and Sasha shoves him half-heartedly.
For the first time Jean turns toward Mikasa, no less steadied than the moment before. “But if he transforms too many times or is otherwise incapacitated, Mikasa will be able to protect him and take down the War Hammer on her own. Our job is to focus on the lights for evacuation and to stall their reinforcements.”
Mikasa simply blinks at him. There’s a reluctant hint of admiration when he speaks about Eren, but he’s nothing if not neutral when referring to her capabilities. She should appreciate the vote of confidence from command, but she is too busy wondering about the underlying sentiment of a comrade and friend. If Jean has personal thoughts on the matter, he guards them well enough in front of a crowd.  
There’s shifting glances and a general fracture in the atmosphere that leans toward uncertainty for the first time. Mikasa feels more duty-bound to support Jean’s first mission in command than to actually provide comforting words to worrying comrades.
“Thank you, Lobov,” she says, a kind but firm dismissal. “I’ll be fine. I’ll have enough thunderspears to destroy its nape three times over.”
Jean’s steadfast gaze lingers on her for one second, and then another. Though he’s less wild-mannered and expressive than their younger days, Mikasa can at least read this well enough. The concern he carries for her can’t be sorted out in strategy sessions. Jean belatedly turns back to Lobov and the other soldiers.
“Not to mention we have the surprise advantage, and the War Hammer Titan has no experience with defending attacks coming from vertical maneuvering equipment,” Jean adds. “But our squad and Captain Levi will be near if things turn too far south.”
“Alright sir,” Lobov nods enthusiastically, and then turns to flash Mikasa something of an excitable smile. “Will be pretty cool to see the girl worth one-hundred soldiers in action, too.”
She could go without the additional attention. Mikasa nods in acknowledgment and returns her sight to Jean, hoping the rest of them fix their focus back onto him too. He’s good for that too, she thinks. Like the pull from magnetic force, it’s so easy to watch him, to listen to him.
After a final review, Jean dismisses them with instructions to gather all their gear and a reminder that they’re roughly 1-hour out from Liberio. Mikasa watches them shuffle out of the cramped room, but she remains propped against the opposing wall. Connie offers her an eager grin in departure and Sasha passes a hand over her shoulder.
Jean doesn’t leave yet either.
Once it’s only the two of them, he takes a seat at the table previously occupied by the others. She supposes he’s forfeiting the role of command by doing so, but he was the same Jean then as he is now. Mikasa steps forward and decides on the seat across from him.
“Think I’m doing alright?” He asks, sparing her a wary glance.
She looks at him for a moment. There’s calculative concern in his gold-flecked brown irises, but not fear. Jean’s not unconfident with his plans. He’s just aware of the inevitability of casualties and his inability to prevent them.
He’s far more selfless than her. Mikasa considers the list of whom she cares will return home and it’s far shorter than the one Jean must count in his head.  
“More than alright,” she answers evenly.
His breathy exhale suggests he’s mildly surprised, if not grateful, for the sentiment.
“Kind of ironic the one point of contention was fear for your safety,” Jean says, a weak grin of amusement.
“I’m strong enough,” Mikasa says, shaking her head once.
“Oh, I know,” Jean agrees, relaxing his shoulders into the back of his chair. “But still, be careful out there. We don’t—...”
He studies her for another second, deliberating on whether or not to speak further. Mikasa waits, knowing he will. If it’s in relation to worrying for her, he always does.
“We don’t know everything that’s going on with Eren. We can’t really predict what he will or won’t do.”
Mikasa is well aware of that. It wouldn’t be an understatement to say it’s all she’s been able to think about. There’s too much to say, and nothing to say at all, so she settles both hands into her lap and stares over his shoulder. No longer surrounded by strangers, her hardened mask starts to slip off its ordinarily well-hung frame. 
She bites her bottom lip, certain fear is exactly what Jean observes in her own lavender-dusted irises.
There’s fear for Eren. That’s ordinary, that’s familiar. But there’s also fear over what Eren might be capable of, which is not entirely new but decidedly worse. There are endless lengths she would go to protect his life. Her stomach turns to lead at the thought of what lengths she’ll have to go to protect his choices, though.
“Are you worried?” Jean asks, quieter than before, almost gentle in manner as he leans forward.  
Gentleness from Jean is something she’s only recently started to notice. He’s always cared for her, perhaps more than he should have, but back then it was too loud. He was a stranger, he was not on the short list she kept, and any overt sign of affection was unwanted. It felt abrasive.
Now though, his affections are quieter yet somehow more pronounced. Maybe it’s the contrast. That the soft words come from a Jean who’s taller than her, who’s voice has deepened to a calm and even timbre, who’s face has filled out into lean but rugged features.
Mikasa lifts her hand from her lap and places it on the table between them, just a few centimeters shy of touching his hand.
He asked if she was worried. She wonders if he’s referring to her own safety and ability to succeed against the War Hammer Titan, or about her concerns for Eren and what he might do. Jean knows her well enough though, so she assumes he means both.
Finally, Mikasa shakes her head. Despite the delay, she’s resolute. “No. You’ll be right there watching from the rooftop.”
He spares a thin-lipped smile for her, aware that she discerned that his planned placement during the assault is by no means incidental.
Jean flexes his wrist and cracks a few of his knuckles. When he places his hand back onto the table, his thumb rests near but not quite touching the outside of her little finger.
“Yeah,” he answers, thinking of both unspoken concerns. “I’ll be right there.”
No, it’s not just the contrast that has shown her how gentle Jean can be. Despite her best efforts to be practical and ruthless, Jean is on her list of whom she cares will make it out alive. 
Mikasa relaxes her posture so that her hand slides forward until they touch. She needs him to come home, too.
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Note
Newbie here for all the hockey and Captain Swan nonsense (and pretty much everything else on your blog!) Can I request either "bloody kiss" or "a hoarse whisper “kiss me”"? Also, I definitely am interested in what Big Bang you just completed!
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Hi, hello, welcome to this nonsense! You can absolutely request both of those things and I can semi fill those prompts with far more words than I was planning on writing. Eventually, maybe these prompts won’t all be canon, but that’s apparently the vibe we’re riding right now. Everyone else is welcome to partake in the aforementioned nonsense of this blog and the kiss prompts extravaganza so I don’t keep shouting about the book I finished this morning. It was real dumb. Like, super dumb. Anyway, here’s some making out. 
“You know I could hear you?”
He doesn’t hear. Her. Emma. Almost hears. Words filter through a haze that appears to finally be catching up with Killian, eyelids fluttering and pulse steadying and he imagines a lot of that has to do with the placement of her fingers. Trailing across his forehead and just above one of his eyebrows, studying him with a sort of intensity that he knows only she has. 
Fiancée. She’s his fiancée, again. 
Even the thought makes his heart feel as if it’s going to beat its way out of his chest. Explode, possibly. That would be rather violent though. Could ruin the moment, as it were. 
“When was that, exactly?” 
He mumbles. Barely moves his lips. Can only manage to crack open one of his eyes and it’s not the one with the eyebrow Emma appears so intent on memorizing. Not that he’s especially opposed to the memorization. Of his eyebrow or any other part of him, not after another involuntary and far too long separation and he hopes Blackbeard drowns. 
Somewhere off the coast of Neverland. 
None of those mermaids are particularly merciful. In Killian’s experience, at least. 
“Couple days ago,” Emma says, “the chest started talking.”
He opens the other eye. “Be more specific.”
“You’ve got an exceptionally dirty mind.”
“Chose your words more carefully then,” he challenges, but there’s no real heat behind his words. Not that way, at least. “Do you think we’re winning now?”
“In the non-existent True Love race?”
Smiling as widely and as suddenly as Killian does threatens the structural integrity of his cheeks. Both of them. Muscles strain from lack of use and recent frown-like tendencies, and furrowing his brow even a little bit sends a flash of pain through all of him. Gods, but he’s tired. And strangely comfortable. Stretched across sheets that apparently boast a rather high thread count, though he’s still a little shaky as to what, exactly that is, and even less sure it really matters, not when her fingers are so soft and his heart continues to do that erratic beating thing and—“Last I heard your mind-reading powers were a little suspect, witch.”
“I don’t think we’ve reached the insult portion of the evening.”
He chuckles. Keeps smiling. Doesn’t even consider pulling her fingers down. Despite the growing need to kiss directly beneath her ring for as long as she’ll allow. “Let me know when we get there, aye? And yes, I do believe we are. Winning, that is. Underworld challenges, magical doors fueled by magical flowers. Am I missing anything?’
“Sucks we didn’t get a rainbow kiss.”
“Perhaps that’s waiting in the wings. Of romance and whatnot.”
Listening to her laugh is his favorite thing in the world. Bar none. The way it flutters out of her occasionally, like she’s still a little surprised that it happens and Killian used to worry about that. Not anymore; not now, certainly. Now, he wants to keep surprising Emma. Wants to be surprised. To never grow entirely complacent or completely content. Although, he’s awfully close to content now. If he’s being honest. 
Piracy often frowns upon complete honesty. 
“Maybe,” Emma concedes, “and you’re not letting me tell my story.” “You’ve got very distracting fingers, that’s why.”
She rolls her eyes. Keeps tracing and it’s wonderful and comforting and—
Killian hisses. Grits his teeth before he can completely school his features, which makes Emma’s expression twist almost immediately and he’s not interested in that. Unless the twist is coming from the precise way her hips tend to buck when she’s beneath him. As it is, her eyes widen and his breath catches and she pulls her fingers away. From the gash he’d almost forgotten was on his forehead. 
“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” she chants, but he’s already moving, and using the hook he’d removed hours ago to tear off a corner of the shirt he also should have taken off is not quite as simple as he’d like. Takes a moment for him to get any worthwhile fabric off, dragging it immediately across Emma’s blood-stained fingertips. 
“Stop that. Apologizing does not become you, Your Highness.”
“That’s stupid.”
“You’ve got nothing to apologize for.”
Her eyes widen. More. To an almost comical size, catching Killian off guard because he means those words as well. The syllables, too. Down to each letter and each sound that rolls off his tongue and he’d like to use his tongue for a variety of other things, but this feels important and a line they can’t come back from, and Emma’s magic surges. Jumps over him in a way that feels as much like a blanket as a semi-aggressive wave and he supposes there’s something in that contradiction. To the way he feels and the way they are and a True Love competition that absolutely does not exist. 
He knows he’s not bleeding anymore. Neither one of them move the fabric from her fingers. 
“I’m sorry,” Emma repeats on a whisper, shaking her head before Killian can so much as open his mouth to object, “for not thinking and not trusting and I—well, maybe the shell phone was another True Love sign. That puts us at three, at least. Definitely winning.”
Heart explosion does not hurt nearly as much as Killian expects. And his heart’s been yanked and squeezed and used against him, more often than he thinks is average. Even in this realm. So he’s got plenty to compare it to. Only now—well, he doesn’t think his heart is actually bursting and he cares less about the realm than the people in. About the flash of golden hair he noticed well before his eyes met hers and he knows he’ll think about the way she stumbled over her own feet in a magical doorway every single night for the rest of his already far-too-long life.  
He only cares about her. That’s the point, he supposes. 
“I love you too,” Emma says, answering a message from several days earlier. “How did you hit your head, by the way?”
“Blackbeard is a noted bastard.”
“God, fuck that guy.”
Scoffing is not laughing, but weariness is creeping back beneath his skin and Emma’s lips quirk up all the same. He’s staring, that’s how he notices. Unabashedly, so. And it’s entirely possible she’s blushing. “That’s the spirit, aye. You really could hear me?”
“Yeah. It’s, uh—there was tear magic involved, apparently, so I guess you couldn’t hear me?” She doesn’t mean for it to come out as a question. Killian knows. Shakes his head anyway. “Right, right, yeah, I figured, and I...well, I knew you wouldn’t leave, too. Even when I wanted you to have left.”
“You wanted me to have left?”
“That sounds shit, that’s not—” Emma’s nose bumps his. There’s not much room between them. So, he kisses her fingers. Makes sense. Plus, he doesn’t have much space to do anything else. “That’s not what I mean, not really. If you left, then it was just...another failure, you know. Would have made it easier to shove into the corner, try not to think about it because I could say I always knew it would happen, or I expected it. But that’s as shit as advertised and I know you’d never do that and I don’t want you to do that, don’t want you to leave, not again or ever and—”
“I think you should kiss me,” Killian interrupts. Gruffer than he’d like, and he’s not capable of magic anymore. Can’t rip hearts out of chests or threaten them with anything more than this realm’s poor food options, but he’s fairly certain the golden-haired woman lying impossibly close to him on these ridiculously soft sheets is all too aware that she already holds his heart in both her hands. And he can’t think of anywhere else he’d rather it be. 
She moves. All arms and feet, fingers in his hair and mouth slamming into him, catching his gasp and his groan in equal measure while he tosses the goddamn hook on the floor. It falls with a clatter that draws laughter out of both of them and makes it easier to pull Emma against his chest, Killian already shifting onto his back while his tongue manages to accomplish at least a few of the things it would like to. 
Nails scratch and hips do, in fact, buck. Desperately searching for a rhythm and tearing a bit more at clothes he’s willing to burn eventually. There’s no rainbow. No swelling or invisible orchestra, save for the roar between Killian’s ears, but he can’t bring himself to worry and finds it ridiculous to care. 
He knows. Emma knows. The goddamn magical door knew. And his message got back, even if it wasn’t perfect. To her, just like he did. 
For as long as they both should live.
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