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#but that also would've been a dynamic i would've wanted to see.
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Ep. 13 "Into the Breach" Review
This was another fantastic episode that packs so much into its 25 minute runtime. Seriously, the finale better be like an hour. I feel like there's so much we have to address, yet so little time. My faith in you doesn't waver Jennifer; you've guided us through thick and thin. I will say that Rampart is surprisingly a really fun character to revisit and I enjoy watching him interact with the Batch. This man doesn't learn, but he's funny now so I give him kudos for entertainment purposes. I loved the dark atmosphere as the finale draws nearer and near. This is the end of the Bad Batch. We know it and they know it.
As usual, spoilers below:
MAMA ECHO RETURNS!!! After so long, he graces us with his appearance and he serves. I loved everything from his action sequences to his sass. Watching him sneak around the Imperial ship, rolling off of crates and working his magic was awesome to watch. That's why he's the Arc Trooper. And boy was he funny too. If it were possible, Rampart would've definitely be set on fire. Between being told he was being demoted to being denied the title of "sir," Rampart was demolished by Echo. It's just so good to see Echo again. I love him so much for his kind heart, quips, and awesome action sequences. The writers delivered!
Rampart, Rampart, Rampart... what will we do with you? He certainly hasn't changed and probably never will. But honestly, I kinda hope he doesn't. Sometimes, people are just aholes who do the right things for the wrong reasons. Rampart provides an interesting moral perspective. And he's still hot. Seeing him cleaned up in the uniform didn't help either. I'm a simple woman guys. He's also hilarious and I love it. Rampart's ego is so big that he unintentionally comes across as whiny and comical. Going forward, I seriously wonder what they'll do with him because he's going to Tantiss. Will he get dropped off? Sell the Batch out? Die in the battle that is to come? Next week will tell. I'm glad he was brought back though. He did his job as a villain well. Now, we get to see him in different situations and it's fun.
Omega, my sweet bean, hang in there. This episode does so well in establishing just how much she's grown over the past few seasons. Omega's always been resourceful and clever. Seeing her scheme to escape the Vault was exciting. You can also see the influence her brothers, particularly Hunter, have had on her. Omega's become more confident and mature. She's a leader in every sense of the word. The other kids look to her for guidance as she plans an escape. I also want to give the other kids a huge hug; I can't imagine what it must be like for them. It's one of the darkest things we've ever seen in Star Wars. Also, Emerie and Scalder rivalry definitely is gonna end with Emerie's true motivations being discovered. Scalder's not gonna let her allow Omega to slip away.
And seeing the boys strip their armor of all their color... that was legitimately heartbreaking to watch. I see it as a symbol of finality. There is no going back once they get to Tantiss. Hunter's "negative" just cements that. The last 5 minutes of the episode were so tense as the boys hitched a ride. As a my discord friend put it, "all roads lead to Tantiss."
There were a lot of smaller moments I enjoyed too. Wrecker was pretty funny this episode. Crosshair and Hunter voicing their trust in Echo was sweet. It furthers just how much the Batch truly trust and know each other. It's that implicit trust that makes me love their dynamic so much.
Anyways, that's all for now. We're truly in the endgame guys. After so long, we've finally made it to Tantiss. All that's left is to get Omega, the children, and escape which is so much easier said than done. I'm so scared yet excited for what's to come. See y'all next week!
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stars-n-spice · 1 day
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Thoughts on s3 ep 13!
fucking hell ya'll,, we're almost at the end of this and I simply can't believe it and don't want to believe it simply because I don't want it to end and I don't see how the fuck they're going to tie up all the loose ends in just the next two episodes.
This time around I recorded my reactions to it and it was a lot of yelling and making really weird noises,, but uh, y'know the drill!
Incoherent screaming (this time for real) and spoilers under the cut!
Click here for the audio recording of my initial reaction
WAAAAAH I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE OMEGA IN PRISON UNIFORMS AGAIN!!!
i forgot they had that baby up in there,, omg
FUCKIN' WAAGHHh why didn't omega try to like access that hatch thing at night?? wouldn't that have been less risky??
this episode stressed me the fuck out,, I have a headache rn holy fuck
EMERIE I'M ON MY HANDS AND KNEES PLEASE DO SOMETHING
wait how the fuck are they going to get that baby through the chute thingy??
Eva is so precious :( I love her so much
Omega has been in there for like probably a day or something and is already making plans to escape, I love her so much
"That's okay, I like a challenge" AAAAA WRECKER WOULD BE SO PROUD!!
Question: why the fuck do they keep taking samples if they know her blood is compatible??
PHEE COME BACK D:
I better see more of Phee somewhere, anywhere, please, I love her so much your honor
ALSDKF;A I FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT RAMPART LMAOOO
Echo!!!! FUCKING HELL!!!! ECHO <3!!!!!
I missed Echo so much,, this episode really just showed that they couldn't have him in it because he would've gotten things done like five episodes ago because he's just that good
Them keeping Rampart is so funny to me idk
He was such a throw away character to me in the other seasons so I this is so hilarious to me, what a silly, pathetic man I need to see him get chewed up by a space animal or something idk
after all this time it was strange to see Crosshair in the background of things but he was still shoving Rampart around and I loved it
I SWEAR TO GO IF I SEE. Y'ALL THIRSTING FOR RAMPART!!! THAT MAN BOMBED KAMINO Y'ALL BEST REMEMBER WHO THE REAL ENEMY IS!!!
Rampart is basically Walmart Kallus
I swear to god, Hunter is getting shorter
Also looks like Crosshair is filling out :( He's finally getting to eat now :((
THEIR ARMOR ALL BLACKENED OUT??? WHAT A LOOK!!
Crosshair's helmet ESPECIALLY, it looks super cool
RAHHHHHH THAT SUPER LONG SHOT OF HUNTER LOOKING AT HIS BLACKENED OUT HELMET AGGUUGGHHHHH
Felt like I was watching an episode of Rebels due to how they were infiltrating the place
How the FUCK did nobody like,, notice?? insane. imperials are so fucking stupid I love that so much.
"Oh I don't think so" FUCKING AAAAA WOW THAT WAS HOT ECHO I LOVE YOU
WHEN WRECKER WAS JUST CHILLING ON HIS PHONE???? STOP. I'M ALREADY IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN!!!! FUCKING RAAGHHHHH
"Where is your captain?" - "Uh, captaining?" WRECKER MI VIDA!!!!
I've said it 100 times and I'll keep fucking saying it,, everything Wrecker does in this season is pure just,, everything he does is amazing, I love him so much, even in the background, him simply breathing?? Iconic. He better stay breathing.
WHEN HE WAS WEARING THE HAT OF THE GUY HE KNOCKED OUT?!?!? MARRY ME.
I know Rampart is stressed out of his mind LMAO bro is getting out of this with gray hair
"It's the only chance we have of finding Omega and freeing those clone prisoners" WHHHATTTTT HUNTER FINALLY THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING OTHER THAN OMEGA??? NO FUCKING WAY!!!
THE WAY CROSSHAIR WENT "he can't go alone" AFTER ECHO VOLUNTEERED TO SNEAK ABOARD THE SCIENCE VESSEL AAAAHHH i'm going to be sick,,
Crosshair and Echo dynamic my beloved
ECHO SLAY
OH MY BELOVED ARC TROOPER!!!!!!
last stretch of the episode had me so fucking stressed
i'm not ready for the next ones
"Negative" and all the Hunter girlies fell to their fucking knees
that was HOT
and stressful as FUCK
losing my mind
Music was insane, omg loved it
WAAAAAAAAAH I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ALMOST THE END
AND FUCKING NOT A SIGN OF TECH???? WHAT THE FUCK
THAT'S NOT FAIR THAT THIS SHOW GETS ONLY 3 SEASONS AND FOR MOST OF IT CROSSHAIR, ECHO, AND TECH ARE BARELY IN IT!!! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THAT TECH IS ABSENT THE WHOLE FUCKING THIRD SEASON ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?????
makes me fucking sick
they need to give us a whole ass season of all of them together being happy on Pabu I swear to god
this episode made me fucking sick ugh
everything sucks man oh my god
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junothehatchet · 5 months
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I dont usually write posts about critical role but this episode did things to me and I have to talk about it right now right now right now don't mind me just yelling into the ether for a minute
the last half hour of ep77 just made me love Ashton (really everyone) so much more. They're being an INCONSIDERATE DICKSHIT and a HYPOCRITE with a MARTYR COMPLEX who makes HORRIBLE DECISIONS yesss gimme the complicated relationship dynamics and the morally gray moments AND THE ANGST. There's gonna be some good ass roleplay moments from this I feel it in my bones and it's gonna be DELICIOUS. Hey ashton greymoore my beloved shithead what is wrong with you <3
And it was such a sweet thing to look at Ashley Johnson/fearne and say "I see you don't want the shard and I want you to keep your characters agency I will take it" but then they were a fuckhead about it!!! Literally did a nice thing in the most fucked up way possible that it circled around to being terrible. I love that!!! Say what you will about this episode but by god is it entertaining. I ship callowmoore even more now that they have shit to work through. I love complicated relationships in fiction I am living!!!!
(i genuinely didn't like the very real tension at the table and had to skip it on Thursday night but! Im excited anyways!!! I'm having the time of my life)
Anyway <3 i love this show thanks for reading
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earl-grey-crow · 1 month
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✨pond theories✨
#I don't have pond theories I have commentary on the latest episode which I got around to watching today#because I was watching gran turismo on sunday (amazing movie) (maybe an even better soundtrack I'm listening to it for the third time today#I just really love kat and thomas's dynamic I'm not saying I ship them I'm just saying they're just really fun to watch together#I know it was unrealistic to expect kat to smash a bottle of rum on thomas what with jacob dying in the background but can you#can you just imagine. if she did. can you imagine how great that would be.#and can you imagine how great it would've been to see him unceremoniously drop her into the ocean like. get drenched idiot.#the way home hallmark#also NOAH we finally got a NAME my word#it's so strange they waited this long to mention it like did I miss it before??#right now he's barely interesting but idk after that scene where they're singing in alice's room#I feel like he might have the potential to be a friend#I just don't want them to make it a ship because good grief do we need it (no)#and not everything has to be a ship#and also girl. alice. you barely know him. why??#alice asking why guys can't just say what they mean is the most relatable thing I've ever heard lol#I think it'd be interesting if nick put the pieces together that his alice and this alice are the same alice#it'd add to the chaos which would be fun#that look elliot gave nick at the fire on the beach was soooo so tired. he's just so tired.#and please WHAT happened at the estate WHAT went down at the party and WHAT happened in the past that elliot's so worried about#the way they're drawing this out is sublime#also how painful this is for kat?? and for del?? but especially kat in this episode?? wild#what a good episode#earl crow ramblings
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ukulelegodparent · 3 months
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Heartbreaking: This German almost died bc they had to manually select Germany as their location on a German-language website, bc the default was Switzerland or Austria bc that's where the company is from
#jk but also I am always like. surprised by how surprised I am when this happens#like ok swing kitchen I get it you're fancy and from vienna however *I* wanted to order from your new store location#which you didn't let me do anyways bc you're a lying fucking bitch! >:c#I just wanna know how much their fucking burgers cost 🥲#I genuinely can't remember the last time I came across an instance of like. mindlessly browsing the web and reaching a moment#of like 'oh right Austria exists'#I mean it happens a lot with like seeing czech people talk about stuff related to the German language#which is so funny like earlier today I read an article by some radio in prague idk it was like an international intercultural thing#and it was an article in relation to a czech learning program they have for German speakers#and it was about like how to say where you're from etc. I was looking it up bc I needed the name of the castle that#'Rakousko' comes from. But like even having actively searched for the etymology of the czech word for Austria I had a short moment of like#'ah yeah Austria exists'. I think it might've even had it as the first option which would've been stunning!#Sometimes I feel like Austria is more relevant to the Czech Republic than it is to Germany#Jesus Christ we're terrible neighbours I understand why they hate us#Especially like watching Austrian broadcasts it's like. I get the feeling that Germany does get mentioned quite a bit more#than the other way around even on mundane topics#The dynamic is very much 'I hate you' - 'I don't think about you at all'
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katsurolle · 2 years
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HII i saw you rb my post about xinyan's lore with tags and i just couldn't not respond to that so i'm sending this ask 😭😭
after reading your response, i think i get it now 😭 perhaps her unbending will is just her. no doubt about it! so im retracting the statement about her "not having personality".
although, it would've been nice to know how she came to be that way too because xinyan's mirage wasn't much of a story (now idk if it was meant to be, but i'm assuming it was considering what they did with kazuha's).
but anyways, what i'm trying to say is that i'll definitely be thinking about this more 🥲 thanks for your kind and open-minded response.
- calyxcore
oh my gosh hi hi!!! first of all omg i hope my tags didnt come off as aggressive or argumentative i literally just have a habit of rambling in the tags wahaha!! i was just playing off what u said in ur post and just wanted to add my thoughts!! cos i dont usually make my own posts abt things and tend to hop in the tags of posts other ppl make to write out my own thoughts!! +shes my fave genshin chara waahaha so yea i just went n rambled!! (and im abt to ramble again im so sorry this reply is so long)
but yea!! i rly do appreciate ur yanyan questline critique bec the depth that we can see in the other characters. hyv writers simply refuse to give to her lol. and which is why the rest of the fandom still see her as boring or superficial etc etc. so 100% good on u for touching on that bec its true!!
her mirage didnt exactly have the same feel as kazuha's, where we were literally uncovering bits of his backstory bit by bit thru the mirage. every level of kazoo's mirage, we can see the kaedehara home deteriorate and break down bit by bit as we go further inside it. while yanyan's was just like. an abstract version of her daily life. w other extra elements like the flower, heat, and the music motifs.
am personally still on the fence whether the disparity between their mirages is simply a result of their differing personalities and history, or if its purely lazy writing for yanyan's lore!! remains to be seen until fischl's and mona's because. yanyan was able to get a handle of the stuff that went on in her mirage in some capacity, while kazoo's was a little less controlled? if that makes sense hehe.
cos the event treated the whole silhouette in screen doors/windows sequences differently between those two mirages. kazoo's felt more like a memory, while yanyan was able to interact w the other silhouettes that weren't her parents. imho its bec kazoo didn't rly get a chance to resolve these things w his family, giving that feeling of like. his past still haunting him n stuff. the burden that pushed him to be a wanderer in the first place. whereas yanyan literally has to fight these statements made against her every single day. so they don't rly make an impact in yanyan's mirage as much as kazoo's did, bec yanyan already knows the words and attitude down to. pacify them wahaha. literally where everyone else gets mad at their remarks but shes just like "lol let me handle this" and resolves the situation ez pz lemon squeezy. so depending on how fischl and mona will engage with their respective mirages, it might just be differences in personality n response to what is being shown in the mirages. considering that their mirages effectively portrayed their backstory n history (cos if not, then its def a writing problem haha)
but!! i do agree that this event would've been the perfect opportunity to show the exact moment she got the spark for rock and roll!! bec her character details dont rly elaborate where she found out abt rock and roll save for the fact that she immersed herself into teyvats world of music and experimented w different techniques (specifically her use of fire n pyrotechnics). so that would've definitely been nice to see represented in the mirage itself, or at the very least in the little 2d cutscene after the quest's main story. cos i was def shocked at how different yanyans cutscene was from that of kazuhas.
i'd default with the whole "oghhg fontaine lore not finished yet" but also: 1) writers could've sprinkled something. regardless if fontaine isnt out yet. they do it w/ fontaine npcs why couldn't they do it w a major event chara; 2) mona's mirage! if they show smth fontaine related im going to have a stroke bec they COULDVE done it for yanyan. but chose not to for some god forsaken raisin. and; 3) the extent of fontaine in yanyan's discovery of rock and roll isnt rly. known. its just that she immersed herself in diff music including rock and roll, and that rock and roll is from fontaine. so maybe fontaine isn't even involved. could've been some random person who was rockin and rollin and yanyan saw. meaning this circles back to the whole "this event could've touched more on her spark for rock and roll" thing too.
bottom line is. i do think that they did a good job w fleshing out yanyan's personality in this event, could 100% do more w exploring her backstory!! AND that ur original post was very good!! because everyone else is probably disregarding her quest anyway bec they're not as invested in her lol. so idk im happy to eat up any thoughts anyone has abt the quest because my god my baby girl deserves the spotlight so bad qwq
so yea!! thank u for sending this ask!!! i love when ppl send me asks telling me they read my tag rambles n want 2 discuss thoughts w me
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doitwrite · 9 months
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From The 3 A.M. Epiphany
Exercise 17: "SYNESTHESIA. Use synesthesia...in a short scene—surreptitiously, without drawing too much attention to it—to convey to your reader an important understanding of some ineffable sensory experience. Use sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. 600 words"
Level 4
The sky was purple-green in the distance, sour and sharp like an unripe grape. The taste was unpleasant on Proctor’s tongue. That color indicated that the air was thick with Crustium…Level 4? Overhead, sea bats screeched warnings to each other. The waves shoved at The Storm, boiling up and sinking back into the depths. She could taste the approaching hurricane on the wind, the clouds crowded on the horizon in a wooly mess of gray shot through the metallic taste of a battery. The metal eyepiece of the telescope was warm from being held against her face. The world shrank into a circle.
They’d never come up against anything higher than a Level 3. Proctor strained her eye. Her lips were salty. The silhouette of something dark and huge snaked out of the water, no bigger than her thumb at this distance—a tentacle? An arm? It vanished back down just as quickly, and Proctor closed the telescope, stomach curdling. Her clothes flapped in the wind, which had risen sharply as if to hurry her along. Jethro barked, flicking his stump of a left ear as he observed her from his usual perch next to the steering wheel. That’s right, she wasn’t alone.
“Are you ready, boy?” She squatted, trying to calm herself by patting his head. His hair was matted, as always. He gave a happy bark and licked her hand.
Jethro followed her around as Proctor swept around the deck, jerking on the knots to guy lines to ensure they were tied down tight. All her books were already safe downstairs, and she’d locked up the rest of the rations in the cabinets.
When did it get so dark? The world seemed to have dropped into a minor key; just twenty minutes earlier the water had been a sparkling turquoise and the sky was a crisp pink, the color of a freshly sliced watermelon. Now it looked like the sun had been swathed in layers of green and purple tulle, light barely reaching a boiling dark sea that looked thick and poisonous. The sound of the crashing waves was drowned out by screams and distant splashes that echoed from the inside of her head. Bodies in the water, their staring eyes bloated with salt and webbed over with death.
Not like last time.
Proctor leapt up the stairs to the helm, dimly hearing the clack-clacking of nails behind her and felt a wet nose nudging at her hip. It took her two tries to pull up the digital navigator. The edges of the screensaver were pulsing red, warning her of the approaching threat. She’d jabbed at the glowing “Combat Mode” option on the dropdown menu when the First Call came.
It was so short.
 The deck tilted under her feet.
The other Gaunters had sounded exactly like she’d read about: deep, extended rumbling that sounded like the earth itself was splitting apart, hundreds of miles beneath the water.
But all she heard was a single clear note, silvery and cold as glass, as if someone had tapped on the side of a champagne flute.
Sweat trickled, gray and cold, down her back.
Had she made a mistake? With shaking hands she consulted the Axiom. Proctor’s eyes kept flicking around the screen. The sea was churning now, but there was no sign of the Gaunter.
Level 4 and above— Purple/Green/Blue Horizon.
Signs of approach: deep vibrations, rumbling, low roaring. Possible visual indicators of entity appendages or attack technique (see also: Identifying Gaunters, Preparing for Combat/Capture).
That couldn’t be right. Jethro whined at her feet.
Desperately, she clicked back to the search page.
A flume of water exploded upwards in a roar of white two feet from her face, and all she could think was no no no this was all wrong, all wrong—
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alllgator-blood · 12 days
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I call this one "found family but it goes horribly wrong in an irreparable way" :)
I've been doing a lot of cotl comics but I kinda lost my comic making endurance after not working on art since last september, so I made this to help me flex my art muscles. Apologies for the watermarks lmao they kinda kill the mood but I've already had people repost my art when I put it on reddit so...might as well get the credit if my stuff is gonna be reposted regardless. RAMBLE INCOMING!!
Thinking about how shamura was most likely the one to find + raise their adopted siblings and help them survive the mass deicide that happened thousands of years before....OUUGH. I have so many ideas for comics that take place when half the bishops were still lil kids. I have one in progress right now actually. But it just hurts when I remember how it all ends- they loved their family for so long and yet they credit their love as what caused it to fall apart!!! The lore of the bishops only sunk in when I was dealing with my own heavy sibling angst, and I was like wow....shamura supported the sibs so much they accidentally encouraged their brother into being a heretic, and couldn't close pandora's box in time to save him or the rest of the family. They blame themself for the past 1,000 years and seem to be totally okay with dying for what they did?? Like when they get sent to the shadow realm they tell you to "finish the job" instead of leaving them in purgatory. And despite being the bishop of war, they are the only bishop to not have a "desperate" phase where their attacks get more brutal. They're not desperate, they just want to get it over with. All their other siblings are dead by then anyway so it's not like they have anything to stick around for, even if they were healthy enough to win the battle. Plus I mean...narinder is the bishop of death so they probably just want to see him one last time. Owch
Don't get me wrong I love to hate narinder and his only role in my cult is the guy who cleans the outhouse, but I really like his dynamic with shamura vs. the other siblings. I kinda see him as the troubled kid that couldn't assimilate into the family and shamura took it upon themself to try and fix him. It's interesting thinking about how they're the only one he shows remorse for despite feeling the most betrayed by them. I don't think he 100% hates them, he's just been locked in gay baby jail for so long he's had nothing better to think about than "my sibling encouraged me to experiment with my godly duties, and then punished me for it!!". He's not wrong? But also is shamura that wrong either??? Idk it's complicated with no real answer and I like it a lot, I wish the game told us more about what the bishops were like before they got their shit rocked during the schism. I would've loved to see shamura before their brain was turned to mush by their tbi + 1,000 years of suffocating grief and crushing guilt :)
ANYWAY thanks for making it to the bottom of this rant, here is a sketch I did a while ago of shamura + baby leshy from a prequel au thing I don't have a name for yet:
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arleniansdoodles · 4 months
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Alrighty, here's my first bit of fanart for 2024! Asha and Starboy from Disney's Wish - more specifically, Wish's concept art :''') I haven't seen the movie, but I think I can confidently say that I would've been more interested in seeing it if they'd kept the romance/soulmate dynamic from the early concepts.
But anyways, here's my take on Star's design, and also a little cheek kiss for Asha! :D Also, I never made an official "Happy New Year" post, so I just wanted to say thank you all for your support in my art and writing endeavours! I hope this year is a kind one for you, and may all your wishes come true <333
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eyrieofsynapses · 4 months
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why Aurora's art is genius
It's break for me, and I've been meaning to sit down and read the Aurora webcomic (https://comicaurora.com/, @comicaurora on Tumblr) for quite a bit. So I did that over the last few days.
And… y'know. I can't actually say "I should've read this earlier," because otherwise I would've been up at 2:30-3am when I had responsibilities in the morning and I couldn't have properly enjoyed it, but. Holy shit guys THIS COMIC.
I intended to just do a generalized "hello this is all the things I love about this story," and I wrote a paragraph or two about art style. …and then another. And another. And I realized I needed to actually reference things so I would stop being too vague. I was reading the comic on my tablet or phone, because I wanted to stay curled up in my chair, but I type at a big monitor and so I saw more details… aaaaaand it turned into its own giant-ass post.
SO. Enjoy a few thousand words of me nerding out about this insanely cool art style and how fucking gorgeous this comic is? (There are screenshots, I promise it isn't just a wall of text.) In my defense, I just spent two semesters in graphic design classes focusing on the Adobe Suite, so… I get to be a nerd about pretty things…???
All positive feedback btw! No downers here. <3
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I cannot emphasize enough how much I love the beautiful, simple stylistic method of drawing characters and figures. It is absolutely stunning and effortless and utterly graceful—it is so hard to capture the sheer beauty and fluidity of the human form in such a fashion. Even a simple outline of a character feels dynamic! It's gorgeous!
Though I do have a love-hate relationship with this, because my artistic side looks at that lovely simplicity, goes "I CAN DO THAT!" and then I sit down and go to the paper and realize that no, in fact, I cannot do that yet, because that simplicity is born of a hell of a lot of practice and understanding of bodies and actually is really hard to do. It's a very developed style that only looks simple because the artist knows what they're doing. The human body is hard to pull off, and this comic does so beautifully and makes it look effortless.
Also: line weight line weight line weight. It's especially important in simplified shapes and figures like this, and hoo boy is it used excellently. It's especially apparent the newer the pages get—I love watching that improvement over time—but with simpler figures and lines, you get nice light lines to emphasize both smaller details, like in the draping of clothing and the curls of hair—which, hello, yes—and thicker lines to emphasize bigger and more important details and silhouettes. It's the sort of thing that's essential to most illustrations, but I wanted to make a note of it because it's so vital to this art style.
THE USE OF LAYER BLENDING MODES OH MY GODS. (...uhhh, apologies to the people who don't know what that means, it's a digital art program thing? This article explains it for beginners.)
Bear with me, I just finished my second Photoshop course, I spent months and months working on projects with this shit so I see the genius use of Screen and/or its siblings (of which there are many—if I say "Screen" here, assume I mean the entire umbrella of Screen blending modes and possibly Overlay) and go nuts, but seriously it's so clever and also fucking gorgeous:
Firstly: the use of screened-on sound effect words over an action? A "CRACK" written over a branch and then put on Screen in glowy green so that it's subtle enough that it doesn't disrupt the visual flow, but still sticks out enough to make itself heard? Little "scritches" that are transparent where they're laid on without outlines to emphasize the sound without disrupting the underlying image? FUCK YES. I haven't seen this done literally anywhere else—granted, I haven't read a massive amount of comics, but I've read enough—and it is so clever and I adore it. Examples:
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Secondly: The beautiful lighting effects. The curling leaves, all the magic, the various glowing eyes, the fog, the way it's all so vividly colored but doesn't burn your eyeballs out—a balance that's way harder to achieve than you'd think—and the soft glows around them, eeeee it's so pretty so pretty SO PRETTY. Not sure if some of these are Outer/Inner Glow/Shadow layer effects or if it's entirely hand-drawn, but major kudos either way; I can see the beautiful use of blending modes and I SALUTE YOUR GENIUS.
I keep looking at some of this stuff and go "is that a layer effect or is it done by hand?" Because you can make some similar things with the Satin layer effect in Photoshop (I don't know if other programs have this? I'm gonna have to find out since I won't have access to PS for much longer ;-;) that resembles some of the swirly inner bits on some of the lit effects, but I'm not sure if it is that or not. Or you could mask over textures? There's... many ways to do it.
If done by hand: oh my gods the patience, how. If done with layer effects: really clever work that knows how to stop said effects from looking wonky, because ugh those things get temperamental. If done with a layer of texture that's been masked over: very, very good masking work. No matter the method, pretty shimmers and swirly bits inside the bigger pretty swirls!
Next: The way color contrast is used! I will never be over the glowy green-on-black Primordial Life vibes when Alinua gets dropped into that… unconscious space?? with Life, for example, and the sharp contrast of vines and crack and branches and leaves against pitch black is just visually stunning. The way the roots sink into the ground and the three-dimensional sensation of it is particularly badass here:
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Friggin. How does this imply depth like that. HOW. IT'S SO FREAKING COOL.
A huge point here is also color language and use! Everybody has their own particular shade, generally matching their eyes, magic, and personality, and I adore how this is used to make it clear who's talking or who's doing an action. That was especially apparent to me with Dainix and Falst in the caves—their colors are both fairly warm, but quite distinct, and I love how this clarifies who's doing what in panels with a lot of action from both of them. There is a particular bit that stuck out to me, so I dug up the panels (see this page and the following one https://comicaurora.com/aurora/1-20-30/):
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(Gods it looks even prettier now that I put it against a plain background. Also, appreciation to Falst for managing a bridal-carry midair, damn.)
The way that their colors MERGE here! And the immense attention to detail in doing so—Dainix is higher up than Falst is in the first panel, so Dainix's orange fades into Falst's orange at the base. The next panel has gold up top and orange on bottom; we can't really tell in that panel where each of them are, but that's carried over to the next panel—
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—where we now see that Falst's position is raised above Dainix's due to the way he's carrying him. (Points for continuity!) And, of course, we see the little "huffs" flowing from orange to yellow over their heads (where Dainix's head is higher than Falst's) to merge the sound of their breathing, which is absurdly clever because it emphasizes to the viewer how we hear two sets of huffing overlaying each other, not one. Absolutely brilliant.
(A few other notes of appreciation to that panel: beautiful glows around them, the sparks, the jagged silhouette of the spider legs, the lovely colors that have no right to make the area around a spider corpse that pretty, the excellent texturing on the cave walls plus perspective, the way Falst's movements imply Dainix's hefty weight, the natural posing of the characters, their on-point expressions that convey exactly how fuckin terrifying everything is right now, the slight glows to their eyes, and also they're just handsome boys <3)
Next up: Rain!!!! So well done! It's subtle enough that it never ever disrupts the impact of the focal point, but evident enough you can tell! And more importantly: THE MIST OFF THE CHARACTERS. Rain does this irl, it has that little vapor that comes off you and makes that little misty effect that plays with lighting, it's so cool-looking and here it's used to such pretty effect!
One of the panel captions says something about it blurring out all the injuries on the characters but like THAT AIN'T TOO BIG OF A PROBLEM when it gets across the environmental vibes, and also that'd be how it would look in real life too so like… outside viewer's angle is the same as the characters', mostly? my point is: that's the environment!!! that's the vibes, that's the feel! It gets it across and it does so in the most pretty way possible!
And another thing re: rain, the use of it to establish perspective, particularly in panels like this—
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—where we can tell we're looking down at Tynan due to the perspective on the rain and where it's pointing. Excellent. (Also, kudos for looking down and emphasizing how Tynan's losing his advantage—lovely use of visual storytelling.)
Additionally, the misting here:
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We see it most heavily in the leftmost panel, where it's quite foggy as you would expect in a rainstorm, especially in an environment with a lot of heat, but it's also lightly powdered on in the following two panels and tends to follow light sources, which makes complete sense given how light bounces off particles in the air.
A major point of strength in these too is a thorough understanding of lighting, like rim lighting, the various hues and shades, and an intricate understanding of how light bounces off surfaces even when they're in shadow (we'll see a faint glow in spots where characters are half in shadow, but that's how it would work in real life, because of how light bounces around).
Bringing some of these points together: the fluidity of the lines in magic, and the way simple glowing lines are used to emphasize motion and the magic itself, is deeply clever. I'm basically pulling at random from panels and there's definitely even better examples, but here's one (see this page https://comicaurora.com/aurora/1-16-33/):
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First panel, listed in numbers because these build on each other:
The tension of the lines in Tess's magic here. This works on a couple levels: first, the way she's holding her fists, as if she's pulling a rope taut.
The way there's one primary line, emphasizing the rope feeling, accompanied by smaller ones.
The additional lines starbursting around her hands, to indicate the energy crackling in her hands and how she's doing a good bit more than just holding it. (That combined with the fists suggests some tension to the magic, too.) Also the variations in brightness, a feature you'll find in actual lightning. :D Additional kudos for how the lightning sparks and breaks off the metal of the sword.
A handful of miscellaneous notes on the second panel:
The reflection of the flames in Erin's typically dark blue eyes (which bears a remarkable resemblance to Dainix, incidentally—almost a thematic sort of parallel given Erin's using the same magic Dainix specializes in?)
The flowing of fabric in the wind and associated variation in the lineart
The way Erin's tattoos interact with the fire he's pulling to his hand
The way the rain overlays some of the fainter areas of fire (attention! to! detail! hell yeah!)
I could go on. I won't because this is a lot of writing already.
Third panel gets paragraphs, not bullets:
Erin's giant-ass "FWOOM" of fire there, and the way the outline of the word is puffy-edged and gradated to feel almost three-dimensional, plus once again using Screen or a variation on it so that the stars show up in the background. All this against that stunning plume of fire, which ripples and sparks so gorgeously, and the ending "om" of the onomatopoeia is emphasized incredibly brightly against that, adding to the punch of it and making the plume feel even brighter.
Also, once again, rain helping establish perspective, especially in how it's very angular in the left side of the panel and then slowly becomes more like a point to the right to indicate it's falling directly down on the viewer. Add in the bright, beautiful glow effects, fainter but no less important black lines beneath them to emphasize the sky and smoke and the like, and the stunningly beautiful lighting and gradated glows surrounding Erin plus the lightning jagging up at him from below, and you get one hell of an impactful panel right there. (And there is definitely more in there I could break down, this is just a lot already.)
And in general: The colors in this? Incredible. The blues and purples and oranges and golds compliment so well, and it's all so rich.
Like, seriously, just throughout the whole comic, the use of gradients, blending modes, color balance and hues, all the things, all the things, it makes for the most beautiful effects and glows and such a rich environment. There's a very distinct style to this comic in its simplified backgrounds (which I recognize are done partly because it's way easier and also backgrounds are so time-consuming dear gods but lemme say this) and vivid, smoothly drawn characters; the simplicity lets them come to the front and gives room for those beautiful, richly saturated focal points, letting the stylized designs of the magic and characters shine. The use of distinct silhouettes is insanely good. Honestly, complex backgrounds might run the risk of making everything too visually busy in this case. It's just, augh, so GORGEOUS.
Another bit, take a look at this page (https://comicaurora.com/aurora/1-15-28/):
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It's not quite as evident here as it is in the next page, but this one does some other fun things so I'm grabbing it. Points:
Once again, using different colors to represent different character actions. The "WHAM" of Kendal hitting the ground is caused by Dainix's force, so it's orange (and kudos for doubling the word over to add a shake effect). But we see blue layered underneath, which could be an environmental choice, but might also be because it's Kendal, whose color is blue.
And speaking off, take a look at the right-most panel on top, where Kendal grabs the spear: his motion is, again, illustrated in bright blue, versus the atmospheric screened-on orange lines that point toward him around the whole panel (I'm sure these have a name, I think they might be more of a manga thing though and the only experience I have in manga is reading a bit of Fullmetal Alchemist). Those lines emphasize the weight of the spear being shoved at him, and their color tells us Dainix is responsible for it.
One of my all-time favorite effects in this comic is the way cracks manifest across Dainix's body to represent when he starts to lose control; it is utterly gorgeous and wonderfully thematic. These are more evident in the page before and after this one, but you get a decent idea here. I love the way they glow softly, the way the fire juuuust flickers through at the start and then becomes more evident over time, and the cracks feel so realistic, like his skin is made of pottery. Additional points for how fire begins to creep into his hair.
A small detail that's generally consistent across the comic, but which I want to make note of here because you can see it pretty well: Kendal's eyes glow about the same as the jewel in his sword, mirroring his connection to said sword and calling back to how the jewel became Vash's eye temporarily and thus was once Kendal's eye. You can always see this connection (though there might be some spots where this also changes in a symbolic manner; I went through it quickly on the first time around, so I'll pay more attention when I inevitably reread this), where Kendal's always got that little shine of blue in his eyes the same as the jewel. It's a beautiful visual parallel that encourages the reader to subconsciously link them together, especially since the lines used to illustrate character movements typically mirror their eye color. It's an extension of Kendal.
Did I mention how ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL the colors in this are?
Also, the mythological/legend-type scenes are illustrated in familiar style often used for that type of story, a simple and heavily symbolic two-dimensional cave-painting-like look. They are absolutely beautiful on many levels, employing simple, lovely gradients, slightly rougher and thicker lineart that is nonetheless smoothly beautiful, and working with clear silhouettes (a major strength of this art style, but also a strength in the comic overall). But in particular, I wanted to call attention to a particular thing (see this page https://comicaurora.com/aurora/1-12-4/):
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The flowing symbolic lineart surrounding each character. This is actually quite consistent across characters—see also Life's typical lines and how they curl:
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What's particularly interesting here is how these symbols are often similar, but not the same. Vash's lines are always smooth, clean curls, often playing off each other and echoing one another like ripples in a pond. You'd think they'd look too similar to Life's—but they don't. Life's curl like vines, and they remain connected; where one curve might echo another but exist entirely detached from each other in Vash's, Life's lines still remain wound together, because vines are continuous and don't float around. :P
Tahraim's are less continuous, often breaking up with significantly smaller bits and pieces floating around like—of course—sparks, and come to sharper points. These are also constants: we see the vines repeated over and over in Alinua's dreams of Life, and the echoing ripples of Vash are consistent wherever we encounter him. Kendal's dream of the ghost citizens of the city of Vash in the last few chapters is filled with these rippling, echoing patterns, to beautiful effect (https://comicaurora.com/aurora/1-20-14/):
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They ripple and spiral, often in long, sinuous curves, with smooth elegance. It reminds me a great deal of images of space and sine waves and the like. This establishes a definite feel to these different characters and their magic. And the thing is, that's not something that had to be done—the colors are good at emphasizing who's who. But it was done, and it adds a whole other dimension to the story. Whenever you're in a deity's domain, you know whose it is no matter the color.
Regarding that shape language, I wanted to make another note, too—Vash is sometimes described as chaotic and doing what he likes, which is interesting to me, because smooth, elegant curves and the color blue aren't generally associated with chaos. So while Vash might behave like that on the surface, I'm guessing he's got a lot more going on underneath; he's probably much more intentional in his actions than you'd think at a glance, and he is certainly quite caring with his city. The other thing is that this suits Kendal perfectly. He's a paragon character; he is kind, virtuous, and self-sacrificing, and often we see him aiming to calm others and keep them safe. Blue is such a good color for him. There is… probably more to this, but I'm not deep enough in yet to say.
And here's the thing: I'm only scratching the surface. There is so much more here I'm not covering (color palettes! outfits! character design! environment! the deities! so much more!) and a lot more I can't cover, because I don't have the experience; this is me as a hobbyist artist who happened to take a couple design classes because I wanted to. The art style to this comic is so clever and creative and beautiful, though, I just had to go off about it. <3
...brownie points for getting all the way down here? Have a cookie.
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bunnyreaper · 7 months
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𝖈𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖆𝖗𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖈𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖘
𝔞 𝔰𝔬𝔞𝔭 𝔪𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔞𝔳𝔦𝔰𝔥 𝔵 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔰
𝖕𝖙 2 — 𝖕𝖙 1 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊, 𝖕𝖙 3 𝖍𝖊𝖗𝖊
wc - 5.2k
warnings - 18+/nsfw, dom sub dynamic, smut, phone sex, wee bit of angst, brief mention of the word 'daddy'
notes - vibrating with both excitement and fear, but hoping y'all love this like you loved the last one!! also on ao3! ♥
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Johnny was right to send you to bed when he did because you're already struggling to get through the day, and on any less sleep, you might have fallen asleep at your desk. Clearly, you're terrible at making decisions for yourself, if that wasn't already evidenced by the nearly empty fridge accompanied by the pile of empty takeout containers.
It's not even the end of the workday yet, and you're beat—except staying up with Johnny was so worth it, getting to hear his voice and everything he said was complete bliss. You only wish he was here now, whispering in your ear and making your day go by quicker. Unfortunately, the sad reality is that beyond your good morning text, you haven't heard from him since, and you hate that you already feel like you're suffering from withdrawals. 
Again, that could be the lack of sleep, or adequate nutrition, or the fact that lately you haven't exactly been the most social person, and you've definitely been missing social contact. All of that missing need you just want to be filled by Johnny, Johnny, Johnny—his name like a chanted prayer in your mind. 
You at least have the sense of mind to focus when you need to, but at any idle moment, Johnny crawls back into your brain. Your mind drifts to wondering what he's up to, wondering where in the world they've shipped him off to this time—what timezone is he even in? What hemisphere? 
5 p.m. comes round sooner than you expect, and you find yourself logging off from your work laptop with a relieved sigh. You might be exhausted from lack of sleep, but Johnny's arrival in your life left you energised in a way you hadn't felt in so long. Every part of you hums with excitement, thinking about what the future might hold. 
You have to keep snapping yourself out of getting lost in the fantasy, even as you find yourself rereading through texts and committing Johnny's words to memory. The last time you did this still sticks in the back of your mind, still stings—someone who came into your life and was everything until they were nothing. Someone who said they could be trusted as they broke down your barriers. 
The aching loneliness was too much, so you'd run from it straight into something worse, not even realising how easily you fell into the trap. 
Your thoughts were spiraling, and you needed a distraction, so you put on the TV in the hopes of getting lost in the shitty reality dating show you've been watching lately. 
A few hours later, the buzz of your phone pulls you from the drama of the screen—your spirits soaring as you see the little icon you're rapidly growing attached to. 
Evening bonnie, hope you're not napping too close to bed time. 
hi!! no... for once, lol. how was your day? 
Long, but thoughts of you got me through ;) how was yours? 
The rapid responses mean your smile never has time to waver, as your eyes are glued to the screen watching as the messages are read, the app tells you he is typing and then another one of his messages appears. 
Your fingers fly across the keyboard as you eagerly respond.
somehow managed to not fall asleep at my desk, i would've napped but... 
But? 
didn't want to risk missing any messages from you. 
Johnny heart reacts to the message immediately. 
Call? 
please!!! 
Mere seconds later, his face fills the screen once more, and your sheer excitement overtakes your nerves by far.
"Hi." You say shyly, as soon as you accept the call.
"Hi bonnie, gotcha on loudspeaker by the way." He greets you, his voice immediately sending warmth through you. 
You were rapidly growing obsessed with his terms of endearment, too. 
"Oh." You pause, suddenly self-conscious and hesitant. "Are you not alone?" Does anyone in his life even know you exist? You know you haven't really mentioned to your friends that you're 'dating' again.
"Definitely am, don't worry. Jus' need ma hands free." 
At that, your brow furrows, your voice filling with both mischief and disbelief. "What are you doing, Johnny?" 
He chuckles, before rustling some papers around. "Paperwork, nothing fun." 
Even hearing the word paperwork right now drains you, and can hear that Johnny isn't exactly pleased with the idea either. 
"Wishing I was under the desk again?" You ask, hoping your playful tone will make him smile. 
"Dinnae start." He groans. "What are you doing? Have you eaten?" 
"Not yet, I need to check my milk is still in date." You throw yourself off the sofa and make your way through to the kitchen—it's a good job Johnny actually poked you to eat. 
"Milk?" His voice is filled with confusion.
"For cereal." 
"Ach." 
"I can feel your disapproval from here." You can practically sense him shaking his head disapprovingly too. 
"Good, I see how this gonae be." He sighs, the disappointment evident, along with that sense of control, guidance. 
It just makes you tingle.
"Yes, daddy?" You giggle audaciously like you know exactly what you're doing, and hope it has the effect you want it to.
Johnny chokes, and then growls... and then sighs. "Away n bile yer heid." He whispers, yet he sounds anything but angry, his voice thick with arousal as he undoubtedly fights all kinds of urges. 
You want to take that step with Johnny, to dirty talk with him now that you feel comfortable, but you suppose now isn't the time—after all, he is still working. 
"I'm being mean now, sorry." 
"A right brat." He growls playfully. "Do something for me, lass?" 
The shift in his tone and the previous conversation topic gives you a good guess at what's coming next. "Is it cooking a real meal?" You groan playing into the role.
Well, admittedly committing to self-care tasks like cooking isn't the easiest thing in the world, and having someone to guide you in that is... a turn-on. 
"Knew you were a smart girl." He purrs, and those words turn your brain and your body to mush. 
You have to stifle a whine from leaving you, as your face flushes furiously. Oh, how you wish you could hear that over and over again—in that voice, with that accent, whispered right in your ear as he—
"What you gonna cook?" He asks, interrupting your rapidly spiraling thoughts. 
Staring into the fridge is a depressing experience—the shelves are mostly bare and there's a faint smell of something off. "Ugh, I don't have a lot in, to be honest." 
"Logging onto the Tesco website now, or maybe meal delivery service..." He muses, and you can imagine the smirk on his lips.
"Johnny!" Your protest is weak, as the coddling and infantalisation make you feel something you probably shouldn't. 
He snickers at your tone, but he knows now that if things are to continue, he won't listen to your objections. "Jokin'... for now. Talk me through yer fridge, lass." 
"Do you cook?" You ask, wondering if he's going to magically talk you through a recipe with the condiments in your fridge and the dried pasta in the pantry. 
There's a beat of silence. "Not often." 
You're overcome with a fit of giggles and a wave of faux offense. "Then who are you to lecture me?" 
Johnny meets your exclamation with a series of tuts, which already quiet your discontent, but you find yourself ruined when his voice drops and he delivers his next few words. "What happened to 'Johnny knows best'?" 
Fuck him, using his powers for good—and you can already tell he's getting off on it too. Today, you won't indulge him by submissively repeating it back, since he's making you face the horror that is cooking.
"Fine." You sigh, looking for what items in the fridge that are actually still in date. You pull open a cupboard or two as well. "I have... hummus and celery and uh, supernoodles in the cupboard." 
"Better than cereal." He waits for your response that doesn't come, as you pout on the end of the phone, and then he plays his next move flawlessly.  "For me, bonnie girl?" 
The plea in his voice makes you melt, makes you want to do just about anything for him. 
"For you." You say with a smile, grabbing the packets of noodles and a saucepan. "Have you eaten?" 
"A have, chicken tikka masala." 
You sigh, knowing that if not for Johnny you could've ordered a nice Indian for yourself—you get to work on the noodles anyway. "Kinda jealous now, if I'm honest."
His laugh is short but earnest. "Same, haven't had beefy supernoodles in an age." 
"Yeah, I would hope they're feeding you actually decent, nutritious food over there." 
He huffs. "I would hope you're feeding yerself decent food, but here we are." That playful judgement is back, lacing his words and making you crave his approval. 
It's a startling thought, that here you are, only a few days in and needing his praise, his encouragement—you suppose it comes easy as it plays into both of your natural instincts—his to lead, yours to follow.
"Less sass, more... paperwork." You grumble playfully, trying to cover up the fact that, maybe, you like being teased by him. 
"Aye." He laughs, and you can briefly hear him scribbling in the silence.  
For a few moments, it's just the sound of him writing and you cooking, but the quiet feels comfortable rather than awkward—strangely routine and domestic after such a short space of time. 
Your mind wanders back to what the two of you had discussed last night, about his day later in the week. "Have you thought more about Friday?" 
There's a brief shuffle and the sound of the call changes as Johnny seems to take you off the loudspeaker and moves around. "Meetin' you?" 
"Yeah." There's a sense of nervousness within you, a fear he's going to suddenly decide that he doesn't want to see you after all, that he doesn't see this going anywhere. It's so soon, and yet the thought seems crushing. 
"Haven't thought of much else." His confession seems to settle your rapidly beating heart just a little, the sincerity in his voice making your stomach twist and turn. 
Maybe you shouldn't push it, but you want to meet him more than anything, so you can make the first step toward all of this becoming real. "Would you be up for coffee? I can come to you!" 
"About that..." His sigh is weary, and panic overtakes you as the silence stretches on. "Am leaving for a week or so." 
It's not a total rejection at least, but somehow it still stings, still settles heavy and unpleasant in your gut. "When?" 
"Tomorrow." He falls silent, waiting for you to say something, yet you don't know what words to even summon right now. "'m sorry, lass." 
You take a deep breath for a moment, collecting your thoughts as you stir your noodles and try to put everything you feel into some sort of coherent order. 
There's no logical reason to feel rejected, as it's not that he doesn't want the date, but that he can't. Perhaps it's that lingering thought that this kind of thing will be a frequent occurrence—it's just a small taste of what's to come. But wanting Johnny means handling this, like he deserves. 
You push through the discomfort and force yourself into a more positive mindset.
"But... after that? Or is this just because you hate coffee so much you're fleeing the country?" You laugh softly, hoping the joke will lighten the thick atmosphere. 
"Now, if you'd asked me out for tea..." He laughs in return, before turning serious. "But... when I'm back, I'd love to see you. Have ta, really. " 
"I'm glad." The beaming smile on your face is ridiculous, and you're so thankful he can't see you grinning like an idiot at his words. He has to meet you. 
With your cooking complete, you take the saucepan off the stove and pour the noodles into a bowl, grabbing it before returning to the comfort of the couch. "Okay, noodles done." 
"Wanna call me back once yer done, or?" 
Fuck, he's so considerate. 
You hum negatively as you start to blow on the noodles to cool them. "I'll eat on the phone if you don't mind the sound of me slurping." 
Johnny chuckles, before making a suggestive noise. 
"The noodles, Johnny." 
He coughs, covering more juvenile laughter. "Aye, the noodles, of course." 
"So... going anywhere fun?" You ask, referencing his upcoming deployment. 
"Classified, I'm afraid." He answers curtly, but you know it's nothing more than his duty. 
No questions about that, then, you suppose. It's going to be a strange thing to adjust to, but it's another thing that comes along with accepting Johnny into your life. You change your line of questioning, hopefully to something he can answer. "Are you... scared?" 
"No." He answers quickly and firmly, in a manner that suggests certainty rather than bravado. "Don't worry about me, hen." He rushes to add.
"Kinda hard not to, even if we only just met..." You sigh, but you suppose you have to trust Johnny's skills and training. "I imagine it only gets more intense from here." 
The admission feels like a swift kick to the stomach. 
"Yeah..." You hear a knock on the door from Johnny's end, and he swears colourfully under his breath. "Ach, can I call yer back?" 
It's almost cruel the way such timing drives the point home. 
"Sure, things to attend to?" You ask absentmindedly, not really expecting an answer. 
He sighs, before trying to turn his tone more positive. "Aye, but I'll catch you before bed, yeah?" 
"Yeah. Bye, Johnny." 
"Bye, lass." 
He ends the call, leaving you with your meal and your thoughts. 
Maybe you aren't strong enough to deal with this after all, you think, trying to settle the ugly, gnawing feeling inside you. It already hurts, but maybe that's because you're trying to hold so tight onto something intangible. Maybe if you and Johnny become something, mean something to each other, it'll all be easier to deal with. 
It's an hour or so later when you're tucked up in bed that Johnny's call lights up your phone. You pick it up instantly. 
"Hey, glad you haven't fallen asleep already." He chuckles, his voice softer than before. 
"Mmm, still hanging on." You mumble, cheek pressed into plushness and tiredness lingering at the back of your mind, as well as the mess of feelings that still simmers within you. 
"Cuddled up with the big B?" He asks, voice cheeky and charming. 
You can't help the soft giggle at the ridiculous nickname. "The big B?!"
"Barnaby!" He clarifies with a hearty laugh, not ashamed at all of his goofiness. 
"The big B! That's so silly" 
The laughs quiet, and another silence falls, but this time you feel the discomfort that comes with it. 
Johnny is the first to breach it, his tone tinged with worry. "How are yer?"
"I'm fine." You sigh, not wanting to elaborate and get yourself upset again. It's not far from the truth. Nothing has changed, but this is something you have to learn to sit with, have to make peace with for both of your sake. 
Johnny cuts right through the noise. "Yer seemed a little upset earlier. Wanna talk about it?" 
Communication—the key to any good relationship, an essential to any kinky one, and one thing you think you really kind of suck at. 
It's a simple sentence with a simple answer, and nothing about Johnny suggests that his reaction will be anything other than supportive—but it's not Johnny's voice that whispers cruel things in the back of your head. And for now, Johnny's influence is not enough to quiet the storm. 
The fear grips at your heart, stops your words right in your throat, but your mind wars between the ghosts of your past and the duty of your present and future. 
Johnny waits quietly, not pushing you for an answer or assuming how you feel, and that small act helps pull you out of the fog and helps you force yourself to speak. 
"Reality setting in, I guess." The words don't come easy at first, your throat tight—but once you start, the rest just seems to flow, taking the weight of your burdens with them. "Like, it's not too bad right now, it's just... knowing what's in store? Assuming we keep talking." 
The opportunity to really put your thoughts in order and get them out actually does help, surprisingly.
Johnny goes silent for a moment, considering your words before he speaks. "If you wanna stop—" 
"I don't." You feel bad for interrupting him, but you already know that's not what you want, even if he sees it as a kindness. "Like I said yesterday, I'm not faint-hearted... the intensity just took me by surprise. All of this has, really." 
"I'm with you there. Sat here thinking about how I'm gonna be thinking of anything else when I'm on the mission." He laughs softly, the sound laden with emotion. "Lt's gonna have my head." 
The gravity of his job sinks in now, with the realisation that he will be busy and focused, and rightfully so.
"Will you be able to get in touch while you're gone?" You ask, more for informational purposes, rather than being unable to last a week without hearing his voice. 
"Not a whole lot, no. Sometimes no' at all, but I'll let you know when I can." He states plainly, and the honesty is so refreshing. 
"I'll try not to bother you too much then." You giggle, though you don't really mean your words. He has his mission, and you have yours—stay strong while he's gone. 
He scoffs instantly. "You? A bother? Never." 
You hum, continuing with your playful statements. "You haven't seen me when I'm clingy." 
"A like clingy, am clingy too." 
Ugh, just when you think he can't be more perfect, he comes out with that. The sweet smile on your face is relentless, and you just know the same is true for him too. "Oh yeah? So you won't be complaining when we meet, and I just take a hold of your hand and don't let go." 
His barked laugh is so genuine that it makes your heart sing. "Bold of yer to assume I'd be letting you go, lass." 
The thought of even his hand in yours is enough to send you into a frenzy—a simple, delicate, and chaste act, yet you crave it like nothing else. When your date finally does come around, you'll be able to touch him and see him up close. You'll be able to hear that voice and those words up close and unrestrained by the slightly shitty quality of the phone call—and that is a little terrifying.  
"I guess waiting isn't a bad thing after all, maybe I'll be less nervous by then." Because right now you know you'd hesitate to reach out and touch him, would struggle looking him in the eye for too long. Maybe if you wait, the radiance that is Johnny's warmth will wear off, but somehow you doubt it. 
"Why ya nervous?" 
You almost snort at such an oblivious question from such a seemingly smart man. "Have you seen you?" Have you talked to you? Been on the end of your affections? Your mind pleads. 
"See this ugly mug every day." He grumbles, though you can still hear the smile. 
"You can't see, but I'm rolling my eyes." You giggle. "But what if I just... can't resist you? Jump you right then and there?" Your voice takes on a more teasing tone. 
"In public?" He tuts, slow and sexy, his voice dropping low. "Naughty girl." 
You straight up whimper. "Needy girl, for you." 
A growl leaves his throat, along with a whispered "Fuck." 
Arousal floods through you, overtakes you, as you feel your mind slipping to a space of deep-seated need, all for him. You feel on fire, your skin hypersensitive to the brush of the sheets, as your lower body hums and begs for attention. No longer can you hold yourself back from falling under his sexy spell. "Your groans, your voice, it all drives me crazy." 
The laugh that leaves him is weaker, choked with arousal. "All wet fer me, bonnie?" His voice, now a touched graveled, wraps so wonderfully around every word. 
"Soaked." You squirm in place, not even needing to feel to know just how dripping you are—every time he teases you, you practically gush. Your spare hand dives below the sheets, tracing ever so slightly over your stomach as it crawls lower. "Johnny?" 
"Yes, bonnie?" It sounds like his control is wavering too. 
"Please can I touch? I need it so bad." You whine and plead, surrendering yourself to Johnny's command. 
"You don't—" Another growl leaves his throat, you hear him shuffle and when his voice returns, he sounds even more aroused than before—sweet, gentle domination drips from his tone. "Touch yerself, go on." 
You comply immediately, your hand diving under your waistband and zeroing in on your swollen clit—relief floods you the second you make contact, your fingers rubbing delicate swirls on your soaked nub as gentle moans force themselves free. 
"Oh fuck." Johnny's breathing is ragged between his groans. "Gonna have tae join ya." 
"Fuckfuckfuck." Your eyes slip shut as you imagine him reaching down to free his aching cock, all for you. Your thoughts center on conjuring up an image of how long and thick you imagine him to be. "Is... is your cock as big as the rest of you?" 
You squeak out your words while you still have command over the English language.
"Guess you'll find out soon enough." He chuckles breathlessly, some of the words catching in his throat as he clearly works himself. "But I don't think you'll be disappointed. I know how tae take care of yer, know you're already desperate for me." 
Your circles quicken, his words sending pleasure coursing through you in a way that almost feels better than your touch. You fill the air with breathy moans. "Need you, Johnny." 
"Need you too, pet." He growls his words over the building slick sound.
"Oh fuck." Your reaction is instant, the word sending everything in your brain into overdrive. Pet. Pet. You almost cum right then and there, but his assault on your senses and sensibilities continues. 
"God, thinking about you on the end of a leash for me? So fuckin' hard thinking about it." His voice modulates between and whine and a growl, his need growing furiously. "I'd be so fuckin' lucky." 
You imagine the collar slipping around your neck, imagine Johnny clicking shut a lock and attaching a leash—pulling you to him just as he is now with every word. 
"I'd be the most loyal pet ever, I swear." You start to babble, unable to hold back any longer on the wave of submission that overtakes you. "I'll Wait for you to come home, naked and kneeling with my leash ready." 
"Jesus, fuck." Each grunt that leaves him makes you shiver. Each word like its own bolt of electricity straight from his body to yours. "Yeah, my good girl would be so lost without me." He says it with such certainty, speaking the truth to life. 
"I get separation anxiety like mad. I'll miss your touch, miss your smell, miss your taste—" You cut yourself off with a high-pitched whine, your fingers working you so fucking close to the edge.
"Don't worry, I'd fuck you so good before I go bonnie, fill yer up and leave you dripping with me." His groans are accompanied by more of those slick sounds. "Mark that pretty neck o' yours, too." 
"I'm... I'm not gonna last." You admit, holding back even now from cumming—you crave his permission. 
"Me either. Go on, moan for me, let me hear you." He urges you gently, even if his voice is filled with need. 
You let all your noises flow freely as you teeter toward the edge and desperately try to please him with the sounds you make. It's all too good, too much, too overwhelming. 
"Johnny, can I—" 
His demand is out of his mouth before you can even finish your sentence. "Cum fer me, bonnie. Go on." 
You cum with a strangled cry, flying over the edge right as Johnny demands it. The build-up of the past few days along with Johnny's noises has you shaking in ecstasy—ecstasy that's only prolonged when he cums too with a long, drawn-out groan.
After a moment, the only sound is both of your heavy breathing, as you come down from your high. 
"Oh my god." You sigh, a silly, blissed-out grin overtaking your features.
"You okay, sweet girl?" His voice returns to that sweetness you're coming to know and love.
You nod mindlessly, even though he can't see you. "Better than okay, are you?" 
He hums in affirmation, before his voice turns a touch serious. "You did so good. Just want tae make sure you're good, and a didn't go too far." 
"Hah, I mean, nowhere near too far." You admit shakily. 
"Am glad, it's only early days, though. That trust..." He hesitates. 
"... It takes a while, yeah." The post-orgasmic bliss coupled with the feeling of that trust taking root and growing. "I'm glad you understand." 
And he understands perfectly, as you never feel pushed or rushed, only pampered and adored. 
"Of course... it's special, for both of us." He admits, and you know you're on the same wavelength when it comes to the bond and relationship between dominant and submissive. 
"Mhmm." You hum dreamily, wholeheartedly agreeing and yet not able to summon up something profound. 
"Already sleepy?" His laughter is soft and sincere. 
"I'd get so much rest if every night was like this." 
"Even more so when I finally get to fuck ya, bonnie." He whispers so casually, yet even after your orgasm your clit still thrums with interest—God, he has such a hold on you.
"Yeah?" You sigh, dreaming of the day you'll get to experience it. 
"Yeah." 
The line falls silent, and you feel yourself fading. 
"I'm sorry, I'm so... sleepy." You whisper while you still have the chance. 
"It's okay, sweet girl, close yer eyes. Am right here." Johnny's sweet voice lulls you closer and closer, and your phone falls free from your hand to your pillow, resting there with Johnny just on the end of the line. 
"Goodnight Johnny." You mumble, before sleep finally takes you.
"Goodnight, Bonnie." His reply is soft, carrying you off to unconsciousness as he drifts off too.  
-//-
Johnny practically vibrates where he stands—wired beyond belief. Part of it is his usual pre-mission adrenaline, but the events of the past few days especially almost have him climbing the walls. His energy is frenetic as usual but with so much more—lust, yearning, withdrawal. 
It's only been a few hours since he ended the call after waking up before you, and yet he finds his thoughts unable to leave you, even as he finishes gearing up. You'd love to see him like this, and an idea strikes him.
He pulls out his phone, turns to the man beside him, and hopes he doesn't regret asking. Then again, some ribbing from the masked man would be nothing compared to the floored reaction he'd get from you.
"Ghost?" He asks, piercing the comfortable silence between the two of them. 
"What?" Ghost turns, eyeing Johnny and his hand holding his outstretched phone.
Johnny doesn't waver, sure in his request, and eager to see your response. "Take a picture of me, yeah?" 
"Girl back home?" Ghost asks, cutting straight to the point as he takes the phone. "Is this the first time she's seeing you? Cause you look fuckin' rough." 
"No." Johnny frowns, and worry washes over him. Surely Lt. is just messing him around—he knows she'll be happy to see him either way. 
Ghost pulls off a glove and navigates to the camera before stepping back and holding up the phone in Johnny's direction. He might be giving Johnny shit, but he at least takes the time to angle and position the frame in a way that compliments Johnny's stature. "She like the tac gear?" 
Johnny sighs, wishing this was over already. "Just take the picture, Ghost." 
"Say cheese." Ghost deadpans, and the softest of smiles graces Johnny's features—for her, not for him.
Johnny practically snatches the phone back from Ghost's hands, checking out the photo immediately. "Thanks." 
He pulls up their messages immediately, firing off the picture with a kissing face and a teasing message just for her. 
When he locks the phone and throws it in his bag, Ghost's eyes are fixed on him, his blackened eyes narrowed.
"Mind on the mission, yeah, Johnny?" 
Johnny nods, doing his best to push thoughts of her away for now, and letting his inner soldier take over. He'll be back to her before he knows it. "Aye, Lt." 
Days later, and after a successful first phase of the mission, Johnny stares down at his phone. The signal is nonexistent and won't return for a while, but he misses you, his mind is itching with his need for you. In this shitty safe house in the middle of nowhere, while someone else is on watch, there's very little to do, and truly nothing else he'd rather think about. 
He scrolls to the top of your messages, rereading each message and reliving each conversation, experiencing all over again how each message made him feel. 
Your sweet texts, your copious use of emojis, and your cute little selfies—it was all so intoxicating to him. For a man who was so used to maintaining focus, you were a fucking curveball. Something about you just sends his protective instincts into overdrive, makes unearned possessive tendrils curl up through him and around his heart—calls out to his guiding, dominant, caring side.
He has to constantly stamp down the thoughts inside that called out to him to find you, scoop you up, and take you home with him. Luckily for you both, Johnny is a patient man. He spends time out in the field waiting days for anything interesting to happen, he's spent years waiting for his pet, his girl to come along—and you're right there. He can wait a little longer. 
He holds down the record button, intent on recording a message for you, and begins whispering into the phone.
"Hi, been sat on my arse for far too long with nothing to do but think of you. Dinnae think I'll get signal anytime soon, but I 'spose it'll send at some point." He feels himself relax just a little as he falls into Johnny, the man—rather than Soap, the soldier.
"Been thinking about our first date, since you mentioned coffee. Kinda had a crazy idea actually, but I need your input. What about a cat café? Has to be one in that city o' yours, and I figure you must like kitties."
"Won't be long until you might be one for me... or a bunny... or a puppy." He interrupts himself with a sigh.
"Need tae stop those thoughts and quit while I'm ahead. Let me know, yeah? As soon as I get my leave, we'll set it up."
"Talk soon, bonnie." 
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doorhine · 5 months
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One of many things I like about Blue Eye Samurai is how it portrays its disabled characters. There's a lot to talk about with each of them but for this post, I want to talk about, not the step dad, but the dad who stepped up, Sword Father!
*Spoilers below
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Him and Mizu's relationship is one of my favorite dynamics in the show and seeing how that developed over the years was one of my favorite things about the pilot. It felt very symbiotic and good for the both of them emotionally to have that company and support, especially on Mizu's end.
I really liked seeing how the two worked together and how Mizu accommodated to his needs. I also liked the respect given to Sword Father's ability to take care of himself as an adult even without Mizu's assistance. He's been blacksmithing for years and he's respected in his line of work. Losing his sight did not and does not change that.
I personally think the show does a good job at balancing the reality of him being blind and the accommodations he needs while also respecting him as an autonomous individual and talking about his blindness in a way that feels natural and respectful when it's relevant.
But my favorite thing about this dynamic and Sword Father as an individual is probably the use of audio design in the show in relationship to them. As we see the two of them become a family, and develop this language with each other/way of interacting, sound becomes a key element and that carries over into the entire show.
Being blind, Sword Father relies a lot on his hearing. But we as the audience don't just see this aspect of his character. We're actually made to hear from his perspective and apply that sense to how we perceive the entire season even when he's not present.
The most obvious example is the sound of metal which is used to indicate things like:
Mizu revealing to Sword Father that she forged her sword from the meteorite they found before the camera pans up to the space it used to occupy
The symbolism around Mizu and mixed metal in general
Sword Father realizing that Mizu's at his front door when Ringo brings her and Taigen there which revealed to us, the audience, where Ringo brought them before we see Sword Father come on screen (I loved that moment so much)
and emphasizing the moment of shock the characters in the show had when they heard the sound of gunshots for the first time in the finale in contrast to the clang of swords that we as the audience have gotten so used to hearing.
But the reliance on hearing doesn't just apply to that. In the second episode Mizu encounters Chiaki, a man from her past who she defeats in the present. And you know the biggest tip off the show gives us to recognize him before he reveals himself? His laugh. A noise we would've recalled from the flashbacks he was featured in.
LIKE I JUST THINK THAT'S SO FRIGGIN COOL XD
There's a lot more that can be said about Sword Father and how the show portrays him and his blindness. I personally can't speak on this as a blind person so I'd love to hear what people who are think about it. These are just my 2 cents that I felt like sharing.
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haunted-xander · 3 months
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Sometimes I think about Urianger's role in and feelings on the Thancred-Ryne dynamic and I think watching it kills him a bit inside. For several reasons.
Like, to begin with there's the guilt he's been carrying with him since he ushered Minfilia to the first, how he effectively killed the person Thancred cared about the most in the world and who's "death" ended up causing Ryne's entire Situation. He looks at what's happening between them and can only think "I caused this" even though that's not really true. No one person is responsible for this outcome, it's a culmination of several circumstances and the consequences of them. Logically, Urianger knows this. But it doesn't matter, because his guilt is overpowering his logic.
And also, like. What Thancred is doing here, the way he's knowingly letting Ryne be and stay hurt because he literally cannot bring himself to tell her his feelings, is the exact same mistake Urianger made with Moenbryda. Of course, the circumstances are vastly different, and the potential consequences to Thancred telling Ryne the wrong things or her misinterperating it is far greater (being a matter of literal life or death), it's still the same sort of paralysis they are trapped in.
And he knows it. He sees it. But he can't say or do anything about it, he doesn't have the right to. He acknowledges the mistake, but he hasn't really improved upon it yet. He still doesn't voice his thoughts and feelings as he should. He's also non-confrontational by nature, he doesn't argue or try to change peoples minds, he probably doesn't think he has any place to.
So, he tries to help in what little ways he can. Because he doesn't want it to become Monebryda again, he doesn't want to know he stole not one but two people from Thancred. So he does what he can. He tells Ryne little tidbits about Thancred, things that help her understand him but are safe to share. Nothing too deep, nothing too personal. Just small things, things that are purely factual, because he can't afford to give her a false image of who Thancred is. He teacher her fun and interesting things, because Thancred isn't in the mindset to provide her with non-essential skills.
I like to think Urianger has brought it up with Thancred at least once, during one of his stays. But nothing would've come of it. Not really. Unlike Y'shtola, Urianger isn't pushy, he'll bring it up once or twice and when he sees this won't go anywhere, he gives up. He wants to help, but he knows that persistance only does do much, and he is not the person who has the resiliance needed to push and push until Thancred finally budges (because he won't budge, it won't help anything but to sour things further by adding aditional stress to an already strained dynamic).
And like. Urianger gets it. He gets it because he's been the same way- not saying what he should to someone he loves more than anything else because she was meant to figure her life out herself, and 'steering' her in any direction by telling her his feelings (regardless of if the 'steering' is intention or not) will go against that. He gets it. He gets it and it's all the more painful for it. He knows it can't just be fixed by acknowledging it or with encouragement, something needs to happen to break the stasis.
I think this is probably why he stayed behind while they went off to Nabaath Areng. This is the very last chance they have to say what they want to, and he can't afford to be the anchor anymore. This is about them, not him, he can't let their resolution be buffed by his presence, so he stays behind. Which was probably for the best. Ryne got nervous when Urianger said he's staying behind, probably not too excited about being alone with Thancred (well, not alone, but WoL doesn't count) so soon after she had ran away crying. But she needs to be nervous. For anything positive to come out of this Thancred and Ryne both can't afford to be too relaxed. As sad as it is, the stress is necessary for anything to happen. He knows it. Does he like it? Absolutely not, but nor does he like his other plots. At least no one dies this time if it goes right.
#urianger had an integral part in the thancred-ryne situation and i think its very important to remember that#like i think he served as a very important buffer that prevented the dynamic from becoming even more strained than it already was#but also like. ryne NEEDED to have at least someone she can be comfortable around without the stress of her circumstances souring it#urianger is uniquely suited to play that role. even with his guilt regarding minfilia he never showed anything but genuine kindness for her#it helps that she didnt know about his hand in the situation existing to begin with (as shes surprised when he tells her in ahm areang)#THATS ALSO IMPORTANT BTW. like this man had a DIRECT hand in making this happen (even if it isnt fully his fault. minfilia made her choice)#AND LIKE. the parallels between uri-moen and thancred-ryne. they both love these girls so so much but cant bring themselves to say anything#urianger has been through the pain before. he knows. but he hasnt improved much himself. what right does he have to scold thancred?#silent support is all he can give. pushing thancred would make him a hypocrite and risk making it worse. hes not suited for confrontation#y'shtola and uriangers approaches to helping both have their merits but it needs a balance#too much pushing and the dynamic just gets worse but too forgiving and nothing will ever change#and yes i know im just repeating myself but ITS IMPORTANT OK#GOD#urianger augurelt#thancred waters#ryne waters#final fantasy#final fantasy 14#final fantasy xiv#ff14#ffxiv#xander rambles#xander being insane about ryne#urianger actually this time but. its related to ryne so. it gets the tag
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Steddie rockstar x roadie AU, with Steve being Eddie's queer awakening
(in a not-fic-format because I cannot be arsed to actually write it)
So. Corroded Coffin isn't huge by any means, but they're big enough. Successful and respected within their genre. Has a loyal fanbase, constantly sells out smaller venues, gets to go on tour every so often. They're rockstars who've made it while still getting to live like they're not rockstars when off the clock (and stage). The best of both worlds, really.
They're gearing up for another tour and have a couple of new faces on their crew. One of them got the job by being a friend of a friend. He doesn't at all look like he'd be a roadie for CC, and he doesn't actually listen to them – he's more into classic rock (respectable) and occasionally new wave (not respectable), but it's whatever. He's strong and hard-working and gets the job done. He also withstands the initial hazing like a champ, even biting back a few times. Yeah, Steve Harrington carves a place for himself in the crew and is soon one of them.
Eddie is especially fond of the new guy. Partly because it's clear Steve is as enamored with Dustin as Eddie is, and mutual interests bring people together. But also because Steve is simply a fun dude to be around? He's nice. Except for when he's mean; then he's funny instead. He's honestly funny a lot of times, even when he doesn't mean to be. Like, sometimes someone will make an exceptionally nerdy reference that he doesn't get, so he'll tilt his head and scrunch his eyebrows as it's explained to him. And, all right, maybe that's not funny, per se. More like cute. Endearing. Eddie often finds himself endeared and wanting to pat Steve on the head like the sweet little puppy he so strongly resembles.
The others mock him for it. Tease him about his man-crush on Harrington. Eddie laughs along with them, because yeah! Were he into men, Steve absolutely would've been his type. Look at him! Guy's ripped and has great hair (almost better than Eddie's. Just imagine the mane it'd be if he let it grow past his shoulders...) and Eddie has great taste. He'd for sure be head over heels for Steve if he were gay, and he is man enough to admit it.
That's how the flirting starts – as an extension of the joke. It's not out of character for Eddie, who flirts with everyone. With reporters, interviewers, photographers, TSA officers, venue security, other bands, anyone! Gender, age, or appearance don't matter because flirting is fun. And it's especially fun to flirt with Steve, because he flirts back! No matter how much Eddie does it, Steve will flirt back and help make everyone laugh. It's a great part of their dynamic and actually brings them closer as friends. Dustin would be proud of them.
So, while on tour, they have this thing where one member of the crew gets to decide where they'll go after shows or on their days off. Participation is optional but encouraged, because it's an 'organic bonding experience' or whatever their manager called it. Occasionally it'll be a movie or a museum, but usually the destination is a bar or club. What's there to say, they're a bunch of male, red-blooded twenty to thirty-somethings – what better pasttime is there than to get drunk after a hard day's work? Yeah, every so often someone will pick up a girl, but it's a rare occurrence. A bunch of the guys has special ladies waiting at home, and for the single ones it's much easier to just book a date with their own hand.
There's one guy on the crew, Peter, who always takes them to a gay bar when it's his turn. This because he is gay. Duh. No one minds it, and if they do they don't come back next tour. Corroded Coffin prides themselves on their allyship. They're freaks of nature welcoming all other freaks of nature. Seriously, what does it matter if a dude likes cock instead of tits? Why is it wrong if he wants it up the ass? It's actually not that bad! See, Eddie used to date this woman who was puh-retty kinky. Pegging was just one of the many, many, maaaaaaany things she enjoyed. And Eddie loved her, so, well. It wasn't as good as she claimed it'd be, but it was fine. Enjoyable enough to do again. The point is that CC doesn't dance with homophobia, and Eddie will scream it from the top of every table.
Anyway. When it's Peter's turn, Steve (who hasn't gotten to pick yet because he's the newbie and they pick last) comments upon it. Nothing big. Nothing bad. Still, Gareth is on him, puffing himself up like a chihuahua and asking if Steve has a problem with it.
Eddie’s hands turn clammy with nerves in the split second it takes for Steve to roll his eyes and scoff "of course not".
Look, he'd really like for Steve to be back next tour, okay? They're buddies now and he doesn't want to lose him to bigotry. Also, it'd suck to have to tell Dustin that the guy he hero-worships is actually a douchebag. Nothing to fear, however – Steve continues to prove himself to be a good dude. He doesn't even blink when propositioned at the club! Simply tells them "thanks, but no thanks". Unsurprising, since he's cool with Eddie's nonsense, but there's a difference between a straight guy hitting on you as a joke and a gay guy doing it for real. At least, for some it is. But not for Steve. Fuck, Eddie hopes he'll be back next tour. He's on his way to being Eddie's new best friend and he'd miss him.
Then, it's time – they're in Chicago and it's Steve's turn to pick. Some of the others grumble over the newbie getting such a big city at his disposal. Eddie doesn't blame them for suspecting favoritism – it's happened before – but not this time! It just became like this and Eddie has nothing to do with it! Ask the other band members.
(When he breaks the news to Steve, his hazel eyes light up. He asks, "Can a friend of mine come with?"
"Sure, man," Eddie says, clapping him on the shoulder.
Steve buzzes with excitement, giddier than a kid on Christmas morning. Fuck, he's so cute.)
That night after the show, as they're leaving for the 'organic bonding experience' (seriously, Chrissy? Of all the things you could call it...), they're met by a young woman outside the venue.
She's tall and skinny, like a giraffe, and that's all Eddie can tell at first glance because she rushes up and flings herself into Steve's embrace. They hug, they laugh, they might cry a little, and he even spins around with her in his arms.
(Girlfriend? She's certainly pretty enough for it.)
Once the heartwarming reunion is over, Steve introduces her as Robin, and tells her that it's his turn to pick a place for them to decompress but he's making it her choice. Robin spits out options with a speed none of them keep up with; Steve stops her, saying, "No, Robs. I'm making it your choice."
They share a look.
She gasps.
They grin, mischievously, and then...
She takes them to a lesbian club.
It's open to gay guys too, obviously, but clearly caters to lesbians. It's a smaller thing, the kind that entertains a steady line of regulars. Apparently, Robin and Steve are among these regulars, because the bartender greets them by name the moment they step inside.
They order their drinks and claim a booth. Robin is quick to instigate a discussion about what dorky things Steve has done while away from her. Eddie is happy to share while Steve laments he should've known better than to introduce them.
An hour or so in, Robin skitters off to catch up with a group of women, all varying degrees of butch. Not ten seconds later, someone new claims her seat (which is also Steve's lap). Eddie mistakes them for a girl at first, because they're small with a high-pitched voice, but no, it's just the twinkiest twink. He makes himself at home on Steve's thigh, pressing a kiss to Steve's cheek and squealing, "Stevie! I didn't know you were back!"
Steve laughs. "Hey, babe. Just for tonight. I'm here with my coworkers."
The twink twists around in Steve's lap. He really is girly-looking: soft jawline, slender build, shoulder-length blond waves, and huge eyes enhanced with makeup. He even smells like a woman, strawberry and jasmine.
"Oh! The rock band!" He extends a dainty hand. "Hi, I'm Brendan!"
Brendan sticks around for a while. Like Robin, he wants to know what Steve's been up to. Unlike Robin, he's more interested in awe-inspiring stories than embarrassing ones (unfortunate, for the latter kind heavily outweighs the former). He doesn't move from Steve's lap. Kind of weird, actually. Like, there are available seats. Yes, Robin also sat exclusively in Steve's lap, but that's different. They're best friends and it was chaste and cute. Brendan is... honestly, Eddie doesn't know who Brendan is. Some dude who's shameless enough to rub his ass on Steve's dick in full view of everyone. Yeah, you're not as subtle as you think, babe.
He doesn't even move when they get up to let another crew member go to the bathroom! No, Steve slides out of the booth still holding him, Brendan perched on his forearm. His muscles flex, a vein straining underneath the skin, but Steve's face is relaxed. As if the – small, sure, but still grown – man in his arms weighs nothing. More likely, Steve is just that used to carrying things.
For some reason, Eddie's mouth dries a little at the thought of it.
At last, Brendan leaves, but not before sweetly kissing Steve on the lips and telling him to "let me know when you're back for real, stud".
Steve promises with a laugh, then turns back to the table and rejoins the conversation as if it was nothing strange. As if making dates with other men happens to him all the time.
Shit.
The entire thing leaves something gnawing on Eddie. He holds it in while in the club. He holds it in when they escort Robin to her cab. He holds it in as they walk back to the tour buses.
Then the others are gone. It's just him and Steve left, lingering to smoke in the parking lot, and he can't hold it any longer.
"I didn't know you're gay!"
Smoothness, thy name is Eddie Munson.
Steve shrugs. "I'm not; I'm bisexual."
"Right, right."
Eddie takes a deep drag, putting some of the smoke in the wrong pipe and coughing it up. Steve thumps his back.
"Woah, man, are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Eddie rasps, tears prickling his eyes. "So, um, is it okay? What we've been... The flirting?"
"Uh, yeah?" Steve tilts his head, eyebrows scrunching and, Jesus Christ, how can he be so adorable? "Why wouldn't it be?"
"Because!" Eddie gestures between the two of them. "You're bi, and I'm not, and is it offensive for me to...?"
Steve blinks at him, before bursting into laughter. Eddie feels the blush warming his neck.
"Don't be stupid," Steve says in between peals of giggles. "It's just a fun thing. S'not that deep. You don't have to lose sleep over it."
"Alright, man. Then I won't."
But he does.
That very night he finds himself tossing and turning. And thinking. Thinking about Steve. About Steve's strong arms and broad chest. About his square jaw and plush lips. About his thick hair and hooded eyes. About how the ugly polo shirts the techs wear look genuinely good on Steve, and about how his tight jeans leave little to the imagination. That particular line of thought has Eddie whimper and roll his hips against the mattress. Rachael's strap-on always felt kind of so-so. Was it because it was too rubbery or because it was too small?
He also thinks about what makes Steve Steve. Like Steve's selflessness, always the first to volunteer to do the tedious work so no one else has to. And Steve's barbed tongue, sharp enough to give even Eddie a run for his money. Eddie thinks about their easy banter, and how Dustin sings his praises, and how Steve let Robin pick a club when it was his turn.
After three consecutive nights of tossing, turning, thinking, and no sleep, Eddie comes to a horrifying conclusion.
It's not simply a question of 'want'. He's not just horny and curious. No, he likes Steve.
It makes things so fucking awkward. He has no idea how to act around Steve afterward. Falling for a crew member is bad enough (so unprofessional; Chrissy would definitely be on his case if she knew), but this is worse because he's a guy. Eddie's never been into guys before! Sure, there are men out there who are objectively hot. Eddie can admit that. But it's not the same. There are feelings involved here.
And the worst is that people notice. Steve notices. How can he not? When Eddie stops responding to their usual flirting, turning into a skittish bunny whenever Steve is close.
At first, it makes Steve pause. Tilt his head, scrunch his eyebrows, and pout in confusion (Eddie's heartbeat turns irregular every time he does). Then Steve pulls away, and Eddie's heart fucking breaks. The atmosphere among the crew turns tense; Peter starts sending him dirty looks that Eddie shrinks away from.
A few days into it, he's cornered by a pissed off Jeff.
"Dude, what's your problem?" he snaps; Eddie wants to sink into the ground. "I thought you were better than this. Who cares that Harrington is also into dudes? It's still Harrington! It won't kill you to treat him like you used to. No one is going to think you're gay for standing next to him."
Eddie croaks, "What if I am?"
"You- What?"
"What if... I like Steve?"
Jeff's jaw hits the floor. "What."
Eddie inhales deeply, staring at his wringing hands. "I like Steve. I've been thinking... After Chicago, I started to think about... And I realized I like him." A sob tears from his throat. "I don't know what I should-"
Jeff's arms wrap around him; Eddie buries his face in the crook of his neck.
"Jesus Christ," Jeff mutters, stroking Eddie's back. "Um, it's okay? We support you. No one will judge you! We love you all the same."
Eddie nods, Jeff's leather jacket squeaking with the movement. He's been wearing it since high school and it smells like home.
"I don't know how to act around him anymore," he sniffles.
"Why don't you tell him?"
Eddie recoils from the embrace to give Jeff his mightiest 'are you stupid for real' look. Jeff sighs at him.
"Oh, come on. You're his friend and a good-looking guy. Why not?" Jeff says, as if it's that easy. But...
"I'm not his type!"
"You don't know that."
"Yes, I do! Didn't you see that Brendan guy?"
Jeff falters. He realizes Eddie is right. Because, yes, Eddie is pretty hot. He has the long hair and a pretty face, he's been told. But he's still a masculine guy. A blue-collar type with calluses on his hands and dirt under his nails. He's not a svelte, dainty, little twink – he's as tall as Steve is, with more tattoos than bare skin and who smells like sweat and tobacco badly masked with cheap cologne, not strawberries and jasmine. He doesn't wear makeup or do his hair and some days he just fucking picks a used shirt from his pile and maybe sniffs it before putting it on. He talks too much and too loud. His limbs flail when he's excited. He's not going to sweetly ask for flattering stories about Steve – his instinct is to tease him for calling one of the guys from Nip/Tuck 'Dr. McDreamy'. He's closer to Robin than he is to Brendan. Jesus Christ, he's in the same category as Steve's lesbian best friend! Or at least he was, before he shot their friendship to hell.
There's no hope.
The tour ends on a sourer note than previous ones. It's all Eddie's fault. He doesn't even stick around for the last 'organic bonding experience' – he gets into his car at the first opportunity and drives home.
And then comes the wallowing. Several tubs of ice cream are consumed as High Fidelity plays on loop on Eddie's TV. He writes dozens of miserable, yearning songs and screens his calls, not even picking up for Chrissy or Wayne. It's not until Dustin's cheerful lisp rings out from his answering machine that there's a change. He's inviting Eddie to come visit him and Suzie and the cats in Massachusetts, like he always does after a tour.
Eddie can't turn that down. Besides, he probably needs to get out of the house.
So he goes, and it's nice. Dustin is still a little shit, Suzie is a pearl, the cats are cuddly, and Eddie is a good enough faker to mask his emotional state – his hosts notice nothing amiss.
Then, halfway through his visit, Eddie returns from his walk and who does he find unpacking their car in Dustin and Suzie's driveway?
Can you guess? I think you can.
It's Robin!
And Steve. They're a package deal, you know.
And Dustin's like, "Eddie! They're here! Oh, did I forget to tell you they were coming? Oops. Well, you already know them, so it's fine."
And Eddie is panicking, and Robin is trying to murder him with her mind, and Steve is just like,
"Hey."
Coldly polite.
Eddie hides in his guest room until dinner time. When he comes out, he expects Dustin to chew him out for being an asshole homophobe and kick him out of his life permanently.
But he doesn't. Dinner is as usual, if Steve Harrington ignoring you and Robin Buckley glaring at you is part of your usual dinner experience.
After cleaning up, Steve steps outside to smoke. Eddie, figuring he has to take some responsibility, follows him. Steve is standing on the deck, elbows resting on the wooden railing, his back to the house. He straightens up and turns when Eddie closes the screen door behind him. The sun has set, but the moon is out; Steve's profile is sharp in the pale moonlight, his posture sure. The cherry of his cigarette makes shadows and flames flicker dramatically over his features, highlighting the edges and the curves and he's so fucking gorgeous Eddie forgets how to breathe. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder.
He slinks over, Steve's gaze following him.
"Hi," Eddie says.
"Hi," Steve says.
"You didn't..." Eddie swallows. "You didn't tell Dustin?"
Steve frowns. "No. It's between us. For now, at least."
"Oh."
Shuddering, Eddie wraps his arms around himself. It's late summer and still warmish as long as there's no wind. Right now it's windless, the cold coming from within.
"I wanted to talk."
Steve hums, noncommittal.
"I wanted to apologize."
Another hum, more interested.
"I'm sorry. For how I acted. I've been an asshole and you don't deserve any of that."
Eddie glances up to gauge Steve's reaction, and oh. The whole evening, Steve's been aloof, cordially keeping Eddie at arm's length, but now...
Now he just looks sad.
A few weeks ago, they were close enough for Eddie to hug him when he looked like this. Eddie would crush his own heart with a sledgehammer if it meant they'll go back to that.
He says, "We haven't known each other for long, but you're already one of my best friends. Then it got weird at the end and-"
Steve's face hardens again, eyes tapering with anger.
"Things didn't 'get weird', Eddie. You made them weird. What the fuck?"
And Eddie takes a deep breath and says,
"I like you."
Shock colors Steve's expression; he takes a step back. It takes everything to stop Eddie from following in an attempt to reel him back in.
"I don't know when it started," he says, the confession tumbling out. "I always liked you? You're a good guy and fun to hang with and a great friend, and I guess you were hot, but a ton of guys are hot and it doesn't have to mean anything. I can be straight and still think guys are hot, you know? But then, in Chicago, you came out and I started seeing you differently. So, huh, turns out, in my case? Thinking guys are hot does mean something. And I freaked out because I didn't know what to do. Being close to you made me so nervous, and I couldn't tell you how I felt because just because you like guys doesn't mean you like me, and I already know your type is cute little blond twinks, and-"
"I actually prefer brunets," Steve says.
Eddie chokes on what else he had to say. He looks up at Steve, who's smiling. Kind of shy but mostly bright, eyes crinkling at the corners. His cigarette is almost down to the filter; Steve drops and snuffs it out without looking away from Eddie. His eyes are like gold, glittering.
"Y-you what?"
"I don't really have a type," Steve says, stepping closer. "I like who I like." Another step. "But, uh, most of my relationships have been with brunets." Another step, then stop – they're nose to nose. "Nerdy ones."
Eddie's head spins. He squeaks, "Oh?"
Steve nods. "I like smart, passionate people. And I..." He giggles. "I've had a crush on you since the beginning."
Eddie's head fucking explodes. It leaves a gash in his face that stretches from ear to ear. A breeze blows past, caressing his burning cheeks. It's his turn to giggle.
"You're fucking with me."
Steve tilts his head, but doesn't scrunch his brow this time. No, it remains smooth, but his eyelids droop as his eyes roam Eddie's body.
"So far, only in my head."
Eddie sputters. He grabs a fistful of hair and pulls it in front of his red face. Steve, the bastard, laughs at him. He reaches out, coaxing the locks out of Eddie's grip and tucks them behind his ear. There's an endlessness in his gaze; simultaneously looking through Eddie and at him. Seeing him from every angle, especially the ugly ones, but touching him just as tenderly anyway.
Eddie wets his lips. Since he caused the distance in the first place, it only seems fair he takes the last step. "Do you want to go out with me?" he asks. "A date?"
Steve leans in until they touch from forehead to nose tip.
"Yes," he says. "I do."
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itsnotgray · 5 months
Text
gray’s fic recs
my tagging/recommendation system is a mess beyond the point of fixing, so i made a masterlist. (i’ll slowly be adding fics to this!)
- an asterisk is next to players who play for the ahl team of said nhl team
- if works focused on more than one person, they’re listed under the other people, but only tagged in the first one you see in the list.
- also, apologies if the links don’t work correctly, it is in fact my first time making a masterlist
NHL/AHL
Anaheim Ducks
Jamie Drysdale
hey roomie by @emaanemaa
- trevor and jamie threesome. that's right, that's all it took to get you to go read it.
Trevor Zegras
chameleon by @hischierhaze
- listen- if you're someone who, whether it be consciously or unconsciously, changes themselves and their personality for those around them, or you have a history of it- please read this. I promise you, you won't regret it.
now that we don't talk by @sc0tters
- it's a toxic relationship with trevor, of course I'm gonna eat it up (she might end with trevor... or she might not. you'll never know if you don't read it.)
hey roomie by @ emaanemaa (fic linked above under jamie)
the penalty box series by @starsandhughes
I- if you're not already keeping up with this series... where have you been? every update is laugh out loud hilarious, and leaves you itching for more.
cruel weather- apart of the penalty box series by @starsandhughes
cruel weather gets it's own link because of the amount of emotional damage this inflicted upon me.
Arizona Coyotes
Boston Bruins
Buffalo Sabres
Devon Levi
like it very much by @jackhues
there aren’t many devon fics (which there totally should be), but the way i squealed when i read this one. further affirmed the fact that i think he’d be the best bf.
Calgary Flames
Nikita Zadorov
that scar hurt by the way by @swissboyhisch
- listen…. i’m the farthest thing from a flames fan, and can wholeheartedly admit it was an adorable read.
Carolina Hurricanes
Chicago Blackhawks
Colorado Avalanche
Columbus Blue Jackets
Adam Fantilli
to you, my adamo by @hischierhaze
- it's adam's birthday + his debut, can you blame me for crying?
his return by @hischierhaze
-this made me cry. but in making this, i'm convinced anything kei writes with the fantilli brothers makes me want to cry from either just how sickeningly sweet it is, or of course, sadness.
tiny dancer au by @letsgetrowdy43
god when i say sunny and adam have my heart- i mean it. they’re sososo special to me.
Dallas Stars
Wyatt Johnston
our song by @lovinbarzal
hands down one of my favorite wy jo fics/au’s. it’s wyatt x a barzal sister, a pairing i wouldn’t have thought of, but works so well!
Detroit Red Wings
Edmonton Oilers
Florida Panthers
Matthew Tkachuk
waking up in vegas by @doc-pickles
- matty t x hughes!sister is a dynamic i didn’t know i needed.
Mackie Samoskevich*
perfect girl by @dmercer91
- this had me feeling things like no other... a big hint as to why? she's shared.
Los Angeles Kings
Alex Turcotte*
who does it better? by @harry-hollands
one of the cutest social media au’s in a while (technically has two parts, but they don’t have to be read together)
Minnesota Wild
Montreal Canadiens
Kirby Dach
here with you by @sc0tters
- it's amber's writing + kirby, what's not to love? (if that's not convincing enough, maybe the line, "I will follow you to the ends of the earth," is.)
Nashville Predators
New Jersey Devils
Jack Hughes
timeless by @babydollmarauders
- if I hadn't originally read this in the middle of the grocery store, I can almost guarantee that I would've cried from just how heartwarmingly adorable this is.
out by @babydollmarauders
- equipment manager x jacky boy- aka a trope I never knew I needed, but now crave after reading this.
ballad of a homeschooled girl by @babydollmarauders
- hands down one of the best pics I've probably ever read in terms of conveying emotion. my stomach was in knots the entire time, attesting to just how realistic the writing is.
never grow up by @aliaology
- i'm sorry but you're not human if you don't get even the tiniest bit emotional at any fic with "never grow up" as the song. BUT A FIC WITH THE BROTHERS? this rendered me emotionally unavailable for a solid 20 minutes.
medía management au by @babydollmarauders
the media management au is an ongoing series staring mr jack hughes and his lovely girl, dove! the updates always bring a a smile to my face, and more than likely make me laugh out loud.
4:41 am by @sweetestdesire
listen, as much as i adore brynn’s smut like no other, her fluffy, soft and sweet fics just do something to me. she writes them so detailed, and consistently has me craving for soft moments with a significant other (a significant other i do not have)
John Marino
stay for a while by @sc0tters
- when i talk about made me feel things, i mean it. amber never fails in writing panty-dropping smut, while also having an thought-out plot.
Luke Hughes
welcome back by @leaentries
- this literally made me swoon. a protective lukey- what's not to love?
nobody's love by @eyesthatroll
- my heart was in my throat while reading, and my emotions were all over the place. regardless of how emotional it left me, it was amazing and deserves all the love.
never grow up by @ aliaology (fic linked under jack)
- older hughes sister watches her brothers grow up + never grow up = tears
summer aches by @starry-hughes
- this fic makes me want a luke to take care of me when i get headaches, triggered by heat or not
what’s not to like? by @starry-hughes
- queen ellen and jimmy are a little apprehensive of you…
jack’s best friend by @lvrzegras
okay listen- any of the brothers x their best friends is great, but jack’s best friend x luke… it just hits different, yk?
Nico Hischier
I never could've seen you coming (I think you're everything I could've ever wanted) by @writingonleaves
- this is probably as close to a literary masterpiece as a fanfic posted on tumblr will ever get
will you take a moment? promise me this (that you'll stand by me forever) by @writingonleaves
- listen- it's apart of the universe she began in the fic above. I have the fic linked under nico (because the oc eventually ends up in a relationship with nico, as seen in the part above), but this is sososo found family heavy. if found family is your trope, then this is your fic
New York Islanders
Mat Barzal
it's nice to have a friend by @youunravelme
- put me through the emotional wringer in the best way possible.
winnie martin's favorite person by @ilyasorokinn
- god- i cannot even begin to describe how cute this is. all i can say, is that I need more pictures of barzy with kids... for science of course.
New York Rangers
Ottawa Senators
Philadelphia Flyers
Pittsburgh Penguins
Sidney Crosby
she was the (red) devil by @crosbyscurls
- hockey meets f1 is already a dream combination… but sid x f1? absolutely amazing
San Jose Sharks
Seattle Kraken
St Louis Blues
Tampa Bay Lightning
Toronto Maple Leafs
Vancouver Canucks
Quinn Hughes
these michigan summers by @lukevangelista
i feel like the only way your not aware this series exists, then your new here. because if you haven’t read this, where have you been? this is for sure one of my top three series’ on tumblr, finished or unfinished. will in fact, forever have my heart. (currently unfinished)
the sun to my moon by @ghostfacd
this fic is part of an au! i highly, highly recommend checking it out- quinny + a grumpyxsunshine trope, what’s not to love?
never grow up by @ aliaology (fic linked under jack's name)
- older hughes sister watches her brothers grow up + never grow up = tears
Vegas Golden Knights
Washington Capitals
Dylan Strome
it's never too late to come back to my side by @lukevangelista (a series)
- one of my recent favorites. particularly geared towards those who think back on old friendships (...and constantly overthink on whether you should reach out. spoilers- it's never too late)
Winnipeg Jets
NCAA
University of Michigan
Luca Fantilli
missing you, quietly by @bitchinbarzal
- emotional torture in the best way possible. i re-read a concerning amount
i lost him by @hischierhaze
- made me cry- but in a good way
baby 101- name reveal by @hischierhaze
- it's dad!luca... yeah that's right, now that you have that cute thought in your head, you kinda have to go and read it
I tell you that I think im falling back in love with you by @writingonleaves
- this fic is sososo special to me for so many reasons- and I think you should totally read this fic to figure them out... just saying
opposites attract au by @dmercer91
this is a link to the head anons for the au- but please go read this sweet au. luca and landen are one of the sweetest pairings.
Nick Moldenhauer
sundays are for textiles by @drewsbuzzcut
- super cute read, and it's apart of an even cuter au
all american lace by @drewsbuzzcut
- also apart of that super cute nick au she has- but this part was not so cutesy (it was at the end). had me on the edge of my seat, and tears building in my eyes. the type of angst you physically feel- but with the type of ending that makes up for it (trust me, it does!)
Mark Estapa
icy roads by @nicohischierz
the simplest explanation i can offer is that this broke my heart- but i loved it anyway!
Boston College
Gabe Perreault
princess!gf x gabe perreault by @yankstrash
- these two are on my mind at least three times a week. i aspire to become amelia- aka find someone who is as down bad for me as gabe is for “his meels”
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ceilidho · 8 months
Note
do u perchance have any ghost/soap/reader thoughts to spare 🤲
oh my god you wouldn't even believe the amount of thoughts I have about them (nsfw below the read more)
I love thinking about what the dynamic might look like depending on who initiated the relationship.
I love love love the idea of Ghost dating you (a civilian who lives off base; maybe he even keeps you tucked away in a house somewhere up north to keep you safe) and realizing that Soap has a bit of a crush on you. He talks a bit too much whenever Ghost brings you around, postures a bit in front of you, and gets VERY sketchy and flighty when Ghost tries to talk to him about you later.
He won't admit it, but it's hard seeing pictures of you (or worse, meeting you in person and getting to see with his own eyes how teeny tiny you are next to his behemoth of a CO) because anytime Soap does, his thoughts immediately jump to something nasty like "wonder how he fits his cock in her mouth" "she probably gags on it a little"
He really can't help it; it's part being cocky and competitive by nature and wanting to measure up to the guy he holds in such high esteem (Soap's had a bit of a work crush on Ghost since basically day 1 of working together; his little heart eyes when he said "Save you a seat, sir" that first mission) and part genuine attraction. And then part being just a regular guy with filth on the brain 24/7 - like sue him, he sees a gorgeous girl and a guy twice her size with his arm around her waist, he's gonna think about that when he's alone in the showers.
Ghost obviously picks up on this almost instantly.
The next time Ghost brings you up, they're setting up camp somewhere in the desert, and Soap's already red face (he tans as well as he burns) grows even hotter. It's obvious that he's got it bad for you. It's also obvious that he thinks he's being slick and keeping his crush hidden from Ghost.
Weeks in the desert are a bitch to deal with. Especially weeks spent in near constant proximity to work colleagues/friends; usually the guys are used to sneaking off to crank one out every once in awhile, but something about this particular mission makes that impossible. They're stuck in the same quarters 24/7 and Soap can't even handle hearing your name because he's so pent up and jittery. Probably hasn't jerked off in at least a week and a half.
Maybe one night, when it's just Soap and Ghost retiring for the night while Price and Gaz take over watch, and Soap's been particularly acerbic all day, frustration etched into his face, Ghost drags him by the arm down with him onto the bed. Soap's caught off balance (they're both dead on their feet; he didn't expect Ghost to suddenly tug him down beside him onto the too small cot that barely has enough room for one of them) and tries to scramble away at first, but Ghost growls at him that if he doesn't tug one out and quit making stupid calls on their mission, he'll do it for him.
(Obviously, in this 'verse, Ghost wouldn't have any problem with that. He hasn't been suppressing his feelings for Soap so much as figuring out the best way to get Soap to come around to the idea)
The thing that finally stuns Soap into silence is when Ghost pulls out his phone (which has basically 3 contacts, a handful of photos and nothing else) and opens up a bunch of your nudes. Completely gobsmacked. Immediately bricked up, sweat beading on his upper lip, eyes flicking wildly over to Ghost at his side, who's already undoing his belt and Soap feels like his heart's about to pump straight out of his chest.
"Y'gonna lay there like a fucking idiot with your mouth open or deal with that?" Ghost finally growls, pulling his own cock out (Soap stops breathing for a second at the sight; it's as big as he would've guessed, proportional, girthier than it is long, and already hard, wet at the tip because Ghost's a pretty leaky man).
He's giving him tacit permission to jerk off to his girlfriend's nudes.....obviously Soap's not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. His brain is fried though - he won't even acknowledge the degrees to which this whole thing is absolutely fucked, jerking off with his lieutenant to his lieutenant's girlfriend's nudes.
All he can concentrate on are the photos of you in your lacy lingerie (maybe tugging your panties to the side, flipped over on your stomach with your hips canted in the air and ass on full display) and the sound of Ghost's hand slick over his dick. It's the hottest he's ever felt in his life and he's almost worried that he's going to pass out before he can even enjoy himself properly.
[Maybe right before he comes, Ghost reaches over and wraps a big hand around Soap's balls and gives them just the slightest little squeeze, grunting in his ear to "c'mon, get it over with", and Soap near blacks out from how hard he comes]
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