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cntloup · 2 days

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Queen!Reader x Knight!Ghost After you take a stabbing that was meant for Ghost

Part 1

The vast bleak shadow of despair is cast over the castle.

Simon marches the halls in utter anguish as the nurses gather in your chambers to tend to your wound.

Every scream of agony that falls from your mouth is a stab to his already aching heart.

Time passes agonizingly slow, each second tormenting him more than the last, tearing his soul apart.

He sits on the floor by the door with his back pressed against the wall, your uncontrollable shrieking screams filling his ears, setting his soul on fire as anxiety and sheer distress consume him.

He rests his head in his hands as he sobs in utter despair, until a heavy silence falls over the roof, your screams have stopped.

He's on his feet in an instant, rushing through the door to your chambers, feeling light-headed and a sickening sensation settling in his chest, fear of the worst possible scenario gnawing at his heart.

He enters the room and his fretful eyes roam across the faces, silently demanding answers.

Until they fall on your motionless figure and the dread of the worst comes crashing down on him.

He rushes to your side and searches for any sign of you being alive until he notices the faint heaving of your chest.

“My lord, she is resting. She's very weak, but hopefully she will regain her strength soon.” one of the nurses tells him.

He shuts his eyes and lets out a sigh, half relieved that you are alive and breathing and half still afraid, dreadful thoughts of losing you plaguing his mind.

The mere thought of it makes his heart crumble in his chest and an icy cold shiver passes through him as the image of his life without you flashes before his eyes, an empty and soulless life.

-----

As days pass by, you gradually return to consciousness and regain your strength as he stays by your side every moment of the day, spending all his time doting on you.

And his love and care bring back the light of life to your soul and body which in turn, diminishes the darkness, the fear and torment in his heart.

But there’s still something that pains him constantly, the guilt and remorse that he did not act fast enough to save you clawing at his soul. It should have been him instead of you.

“Simon...” you call out while you lay on his chest, your voice weak and hoarse.

He brings the glass of water to your lips as he holds you in his arms.

You can sense the tension in the room. You know him well enough to know what burdens him at this moment.

“Yes, my love?” he encourages you to go on, planting a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“I will do it again... and again... if circumstances call for it.” you say as you lift your head to look him in the eye. He can see the sincerity and earnestness in your eyes.

“Please, love... it should have been me. I cannot bear to lose you. Why waste your life for such a wicked soul? Please promise me you will do no such a thing again!” he pleads barely above a whisper, the lump in his throat threatening to burst any moment while he looks at you through glossy eyes.

“Wicked?!” you exclaim in shock, though not much surprised to hear that he thinks this low of himself since he has mentioned such remarks about himself time and time again.

“Simon, I assure you that you are a great man, an honorable man. And you are the love of my life. My husband. And I will do everything in my power to save your life each time as you would do to save mine.” you state in utmost honesty and sincerity.

“I do not deserve such an honor. I don’t deserve you.” he mutters and you close the gap between you, kissing him as your love for him burns fiercely in your heart, seeping through the kiss until you’re both left breathless.

“You deserve all of it. Every ounce of love and happiness in the world. I would give it all to you if I could. But I am only me. A mere measly human. And you’re stuck with me.” you remark as your hand rests on his chest and a wide grin paints your beautiful face which makes his heart skip a beat, in complete awe of your beauty and grace.

“You are much more than that, my love. You're a goddess. And I am merely a worshipper at your shrine.” he responds and leans in to kiss you again, “I love you, Simon.” you whisper only inches away from his lips, “I love you too. With all my heart and soul.”

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bylerbrainrot · 22 hours

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The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived - Initial Thoughts

hi! I don't usually to this but here are my thoughts about Taylor Swift's The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived. The purpose of this post is not to hate on Joe Alwyn btw, i'm just trying to decipher the meaning and link the lyrics to other songs. Lmk if you agree/disagree with anything :)

extra note: this is just a theory and i really know nothing about taylor’s life. so don’t take anything said as factual 🤍

Verse 1 pt. 1:

was any of it true? gazing at me starry eyed. in your jehovah's witness suit who the f*ck was that guy?

Thoughts:

Two things jump out at me with this verse.

One: "gazing at me starry eyed" is a direct reference to Call It What You Want, where Taylor describes Joe as possessing "Starry eyes" which light up her darkest nights.

Two: "Jehovah's Witness suit". This part really stood out to be because I literally had no clue what she was talking about. The area I live in doesn't have many Jehovah's Witnesses, so the concept of a suit commonly worn by one is pretty alien to me. However, upon further research I have concluded that it's just a suit with a buttoned up jacket and tie - something Joe often sported when out with Taylor at special events. My sister also suggested that it had something to do with Joe's role in Taylor's life. Jehovah's Witnesses remove themselves from "worldly influences", and tend not to celebrate occasions. This could be indicative of Joe's lack of interest in her achievements, and his detachment from her life as a pop star.

Overall, this part of this song is really just her questioning if the man she loved ever existed.

Verse 1 pt. 2:

you tried to buy some pills from a friend of friends of mine they just ghosted you now you know what it feels like

Thoughts:

So there's definitely some sort of substance abuse going on with Joe. I don't want to delve too much into it, because I think the lyrics speak for themselves and it's obviously a very personal situation, but I do think the second half is of the verse is interesting. It seems like Taylor was ignored/completely ghosted during her relationship, which was something I had never considered before.

Chorus

and i don't even want you back i just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal and i don't miss what we have but could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived

Thoughts:

Essentially Taylor is saying that she never wants to be with him again, but hopes that he knows how much he screwed her over.

When I hear "rusting my sparkling summer was the goal" I immediately think of august, with the song being set in summer and the lyric: "salt air and the rust on your door". August follows the story of a woman wanting love from a man who has no intention of doing so, which is a similar theme in this song.

I love the phrase "the smallest man who ever lived". It paints such a vivid image of how insecure and bitter a person can be. It's also notable that Joe being small contrasts Taylor being "too big to hang out" with (Anti-Hero).

Verse 2 pt. 1:

you hung me on your wall

stabbed me with your pushpins

in public showed me off

then sank in stoned oblivion

Thoughts

"you hung me on your wall / stabbed me with your pushpins" reminds me of a postcard being stuck on a cork board. This alludes to me that Taylor is being preserved and cherished as a memento, which can be validating but also objectifying is some aspects. The imagery of her being stabbed reiterates that she is suffering because of him.

"in public showed me off / then sank into stoned oblivion" is another reference to possible substance abuse. It seems like when they were together around cameras, he appeared proud of her, but in private his affection was inept.

Verse 2 pt. 2:

cause once your queen had come

you treat like her like an also-ran

you didn’t measure up

in any measure of a man

Thoughts

I saw a few people refer to the first part of this verse as Taylor talking about infidelity. I actually think the "queen" she's referring to is herself, considering the next line she says he treats her like"an also-ran". If you didn't know, an also-ran is "someone in a competition who is unlikely to do well or who has failed". Joe considers Taylor his competition rather than his equal, and subsequently treats her as though she is sub-par.

"you didn't measure up / in any measure of man" is such a bad*ss line i love it. Here, she's saying Joe didn't possess any attributes of a "good man", like honesty, loyalty and respect.

Bridge pt. 1:

were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

were you writing a book?

were you a sleeper cell spy?

in 50 years will all this be declassified?

Thoughts

Taylor is questioning if Joe's intention was to ruin her life. She cannot fathom why someone would do the things he did to her without any motive. So instead, to rationalise her suffering, she suggests a plethora of reasons why Joe might've acted this way.

Taylor also asks if he is a "sleeper cell spy", which might be a reference to Stars at Noon - a 2022 film starring Joe Alwyn and Margaret Qualley where he plays an intelligence agent.

Bridge pt. 2:

and you'll confess why you did it

and i'll say good riddance

cause it wasn’t sexy once

it wasn’t forbidden

i would’ve died for your sins

instead i just died inside

Thoughts

She's questioning what it is he wanted from her, because, once again, she cannot fathom the idea of someone being so cruel for no reason.

"cause it wasn't sexy once / it wasn't forbidden" weirdly enough reminds me of cruel summer, where Taylor speaks about having a forbidden, sex-driven relationship over the summer. This also once again reminds me of august, where a similar relationship is endured between augustine and james.

"i would’ve died for your sins / instead i just died inside" is a very blatant reference to peace from folklore, where she says "all these people think love's for show / but i would die for you in secret". It's actually really sad to see how the sentiment of her dying for Joe has evolved into something more sinister.

+++ is good riddance a gracie abrams reference??? (love that if it is)

Bridge pt. 3:

and you deserve prison but you won’t get time you’ll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars

Thoughts

Wowwwww. This one is actually insane! Did he actually do something illegal? Or is this a metaphorical crime? I don't think you're able to determine that from these lyrics alone, but man, it leaves you curious. It's interesting that even if he did get put away, Taylor assumes that he'll be able to evade punishment. Perhaps this is because he doesn't have a guilty conscious? Or maybe there's not enough proof to fully prosecute him? I have no clue, but one thing is for sure - this part makes me feel awful.

Bridge pt. 4:

you crashed my party and your rental car you said normal girls were boring but you were gone by the morning

Thoughts

The first thing I think of when I hear this part is Taylor's grammy's after party, soon after which their breakup was announced. Joe posted a photo of him and Jack, confirming his attendance, but no pictures were taken of Taylor and Joe. Maybe he had "crashed", and attended without her permission? As for the part about crashing a car, I couldn't find any info on Joe being in an accident around this time. But then again, maybe it was covered up? Or perhaps it was a minor crash?

"you said normal girls were boring / but you were gone by the morning " sounds like a washed up ex begging for forgiveness. To me, it tells the story of Joe coming to a party and telling Taylor that she was better than "normal girls" and that he wanted her back, only to depart the next day.

Bridge pt. 5:

you kicked out the stage lights but you’re still performing and in plain sight you hid but you are what you did

Thoughts

She speaks about how Joe is an actor who continues to try and grow his career despite trying to undermine Taylor's. He will carry on about his life as if nothing happened between them, but somewhere in his mind he is aware of how much he hurt her.

Concluding Chorus:

and i'll forget you but i'll never forgive the smallest man who ever lived.

Thoughts

This part reminds me of Bad Blood's "You forgive, you forget, but you never let it go". Taylor is going to move on from Joe, but she will forever maintain her disdain towards him and what he did to her.

Random things I noticed while listening

the breaths you can hear between each verse are the same heard in you're losing me - a song about the death of Joe/Taylor

piano is the primary instrument, which Joe is known for playing (ie. exile)

There is a tempo change in the bridge which is similar evermore, another song about and written by Joe

the song duration is 4:05, which is the same length as tolerate it. The song depicts "the continuous struggle of wanting love from someone who isn’t even paying attention to anything you do" (does this relate to her dynamic with Joe?)

If you made it this far, thanks for reading!! I'm writing this extremely sleep deprived so please tell me if what i'm saying is coherent. Also please do expand on my thoughts!! I'm kind of just jotting down whatever comes to mind, so feel free to correct/add anything you like <3

ps. this is all speculative!! No hate to Joe because i actually have no clue what he did :p

++ going to quickly mention that is it is of my opinion that this song is NOT about m*tty h**ly. I don't think they dated nearly long enough for him to have such a detrimental impact on her mental health, and for her to of metaphorically "died" because of him. Plus, there's a lot of references in this song to other works about/involving Joe.

#taylor swift #taylor swift analysis #the smallest man who ever lived #ttpd #the tortured poets department #joe x taylor #lyrics #song analysis

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famouscyclenerd · 17 hours

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Correction! FREE MY GIRL FROM THE E/RIEL-SHACKLES!

They want her to be stuck with Nesta who used to coddle her and says she's like a dog. With Feyre who thinks she is pleasent enough company, but not a person she would go to with problems nor advice.

They think she has a crush on Azriel after he hurt her feelings, and wounded her pride before thinking of another woman's joy and how he had to stop himself from smiling at the thought of it. His chest didn't spark at Elain's joy when she received the necklace right in front of him, but at the mere image of Gwyn's. Elain returned the necklace and has not spoken to him since. But they caim she still wants him like a desperate woman when they know damn well she said fuck that guy and his bitchy ass necklace. She could spend decades in the Night Court and she wouldn't look twice at him.🥰

They want her to be on her fucking knees for the man who finds it unfair that she isn't his mate when Rhysand got Feyre and Cassian got Nesta. Who couldn't tell Rhysand that he was over Mor. They want her to be with the man who doesn't want her exposed to the trove after she expressed her desire to do something and be helpful.

Ya'll know they would be on Lucien's ass had he been the one who said it, but Lucien would never. And so they glaze over it, pretending that he is protective and cares so much for her! No gurl he's coddling her like a child, something she doesn't want😍

They want her to either reject the bond and forever feel the consequences of it or have Lucien die when Feyre remarks on it being the worst feeling she has ever felt after Rhys dies for like 30 seconds. spoiler alert

They want her wearing fugly night court black dresses when YOU KNOW she changed out of that dress at the first given opportunity. And she has never been seen wearing black again. Maybe because she doesn't like it?? Ever thought of that?

They claim that they had to make her look bad so that Nesta looks good in comparison (feminism has left the chat) and that they purposely used a ugly dress when it's the color itself that Cassian AND Nesta remarks on looking bad on her. They also never mentioned having that kind of plan like wtf??!

"No matter how much she claims to be a part of this court, it sucked the life out of her." She claims and claims to be a part of the Night Court, but it just doesn't work... YIKES! Elain who had been so full of light, so full of life. It has significantly dimmed. "She used to love balls."... not anymore :(

"But Elain smells like jasmine and jasmine blooms at night so she loves it here😋" Yeah and Feyre smells like lilac which blooms in SPRING omfg...🤦‍♀️

Also☝️🤓, they forget the whole quote where Elain's scent is mentioned: "Her sister's delicate scent of jasmine and honey lingered in the red-stoned hall like a promise of spring"

Florals? For spring? Groundbreaking... but "I thought it was pretty obvious."

Me thinks:

#pro elain archeron #elain archeron #elucien #gwynriel #anti e/riel #acotar

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unexpectedbrickattack · 11 months

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get normaled, idiot

#pizza tower #peppino #arts #mine #anyway....#i cannot for the life of me get it right #i need a ref or something #i have like SUCH a clear image of what i want him to look like and trying to imitate it just makes him look uncanny #like he needs droopier eyes and bigger eyes #and ive seen people who look EXACTLY like the ref i would love to have #ah well #i did get his mouth pretty close to what i wanted :)#other things; he has like a SMALL amount of accessories like necklaces n stuff. i think he is very Particular about his appearance #the balding doesnt bother him AT ALL so its not messed w in anyway #the most hell do is brush it down so its not in the way #and hes got hats for if he simply does not want it to get unruly in the wind #i was stuck deciding between a Normal earring and a stud but i think stud looks a bit better heehee hes got quite a bit of piercings #but hes stopped using them YEARS ago. they havent closed up so like. theoretically he Could use them again. but hes fine w leaving them be #also he is like obv a mess when hes in the back working the oven n stoves so hes sweaty and kinda gross if hes been in there TOO LONG #(and he is SO conscious about this; he gets a better ac unit postgame when he gets more funds)#but otherwise if hes going out somewhere he has like spicy smellin colognes. like the shit that makes ur head hurt when u smell it sdfkjdfj #meanwhile gus does not give a flying fuck #hes got 14-in-1 body wash and a prayer #you get what u get #which is admirable tbh #i just think it is funny for him to be particular about this. gus we are best buds but you are not coming out w me looking like this.#or the noise smells AWFUL bc he is covered in grease and sweat from tinkerin in his room all day #and peppino looks SO upset hes like get AWAY from me u smell like ACTUAL garbage !!!!!!!!!!!!! go get CLEAN you fucking BEAST

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urostakako · 1 year

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it seems people are already upset that tsumiki is not nice anymore, sorry you dont know her like i do

#cmon. cmon. she has every right to be violent #idk if i trust gege to allow her to be angry (which she also has every right to be?? her life has constantly been people pushing her away #and forgetting about her and her constantly being nice) but if she was nice even now it would literally make zero sense #thats not character development. its not even giving her character. its just megumi's perspective being right that shes some kind of saint #which is sooooooo boring like why would she be nice. i think she should be tired of being nice. i think she should go apeshit. as a treat #and there was so much build up about the curse put on her. making it just some thing like oh shes a sorcerer but shes not gonna do anything #about it because shes so good IS SO BORING #and really it would be unrealistic if she didnt harbor at least some negative feelings i mean megumi was always kind of an asshole right up #until she got cursed and im assuming gojo didnt pay much attention to her as he did megumi. and her mom left her for some shitty dude #why would she not be mad?? just getting stuck being a little angel after all that just makes my skin crawl #and if megumi only really considered apologizing after she got cursed i doubt he really did a lot for her when she wasnt.#so i absolutely think she should be allowed to kill people it would be a disservice if she wasnt and was just again boiled down to the #saintly girl older sister image megumi seems to have of her. so boring #or maybe its just me being an angry sister who has to be nice. but i dont really think it is #tsumiki fushiguro #jjk 211 #jjk leaks #jjk spoilers #jjk #aricouldyounot #oh and before anyone misinterprets i know megumi had some psychology going on as a kid. doesnt mean tsumiki didnt either #or that she has to be so understanding all the time and not consider her own feelings. so boring. so shitty #it mightve sounded like a joking tone when i said she should go apeshit. but i was 100% serious #anyway yeah thats it

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time-is-restored · 11 months

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more whinging bc i got negative hours of sleep last night and i need to stay awake somehow lol

cw: discussions of misogyny + abuse

god the more i think abt it the more exhausted i get by the gender politics of ted lasso.

like god i do genuinely think that rebecca's arc in s1 is one of the best depictions of a mean + cruel woman ive ever seen on TV specifically bc it manages to thread the needle so well? like they never tilt her balance too much and doom her to being either totally fucked up + evil OR totally soft and sweet and harmless. and ted's 'divorce makes u crazy' response to her apology STILL makes me crazy wrt the sheer. understanding and empathy there, and she's just. given so much more depth than ive come to expect, especially for an ensemble cast sitcom w a (then) p short run time.

but my fucking god. we literally don't learn a fucking thing about michelle. im pretty sure the one (1) concrete thing we know about her comes in the fucking finale, and it's that she's a teacher for... something. the two most important people in ted's life and we don't know anything abt them! they're literally just empty symbols representing the importance of Family™, and that vacancy does nothing but weigh ted's storyline down!

like, i liked michelle's episode/storyline in s1, bc the blinding novelty of a woman instigating a divorce not being the Actual Devil, as well as a just. generally very empathetic + nuanced take on how divorce shakes out between two ppl who really care for each other, was so 'WAIT TV CAN DO THIS??' that i felt satisfied with that being Her Arc™. divorce happens, life happens, people fall out of love, and it hurts but its ultimately okay. the show, at the time, was ultimately abt a football club and how caring abt that football club helped everyone around it.

but then the show sticks around, and her continued absence just... raises a lot of questions? how did the conversation abt ted going overseas happen? what conversations did they have abt henry? how long term was it intended to be? did money really not factor into it all? like it's one thing for a character's backstory to be vague when it's not really the focus of attention (s1 was ultimately rebecca's story before anyone else's), but when it's the load bearing stone of their '''''''arc''''''' in s3...????

like. god. and then it fucking infects every other woman on the show!

sassy + nora? well sure we'll give you a softball - you can have one (1) scene where a woman is able to resolutely and firmly reject a man asking her out without immediately being seen as cruel or gameplayey (not that the audience will see it that way! she's already a lecherous temptress for them!), but neither of them will ever be able to speak to rebecca onscreen again, even after the heart-wrenching scenes in s1 CLEARLY establishing them as a beating heart of rebecca's arc.

shandy? nope, don't even think abt her motivations/drives, just forget her. simi? LMAOOO imagine a black woman getting a personality beyond righteous anger. jack? three-four episodes, and we learn so little abt her that her conflict with keeley - which SHOULD'VE have been a huge emotional beat - just feels like a kick in the teeth (and while, yes, i absolutely agree that in a real world context, jack's rejection of keeley would be largely motivated by class, in Ted Lasso Land™ rebecca is just as rich - if not richer? - and we're never once encouraged to interrogate her priorities).

barbara's the one that really makes me miserable, bc i feel like on a show with less run time, she could've played REALLY well. she's a great contrast to keeley, has an amazing delivery, and the scene where keeley + her first discuss the snowglobes shows that she has the potential for some really moving vulnerability + pathos. but instead they give SO many of keeley's scenes to characters who ultimately get written out, so when barbara stays it's like... okay? sure? like, i was so stoked that barbara survived the Mass Exodus of side characters that i didn't wanna look the gift horse in the mouth but... wasn't the last thing we saw of her and keeley's relationship like. general resentment + distrust abt the shandy debacle? when did that improve? how???

i don't think i'll ever have enough mental real estate to explain how disappointed keeley + rebecca's 'arcs' in s3 made me, and at least there's the saving grace that. virtually no one other than jamie got a coherent arc this season, so at least it was on some levels an egalitarian screw up. but fuck dude. keeley was just forced to react to bad things that were happening to her, and we got to see her do her job (which, unbelievably, does actually involve things other than being an awkward manager!) precisely one (1) time.

i even like rebecca's arc on paper - i think it's really cool to see a character backslide so intensely in terms of obsessing over and struggling to come to terms w a past relationship, especially an abusive one, bc like. yeah! that shit sticks with you for longer than a season! and beyond that, seeing her regain her sense of self and what SHE actually gives a shit about was oftentimes just as sweet as s1. but her scenes were poorly connected, and she had to carry WAY too much of a burden as the Resident Speech Giver for any of her internal characterisation to make sense. like, sorry, but it's kind of hard to believe a character's Going Through It™ when they have to spent near 100% of their screen time giving Take It From Me, Kid, speeches. and then she's not even given a real opportunity TO fuck up + sabotage her relationships, even when she starts getting really weird w ted! it's all just so meaningless and like nothing that she does is ever going to matter. she never speaks to zava again, we don't get to see her interact w bex or kate, her pleas to ted get COMPLETELY shut down...

but the thing that REALLY makes me sick is this complete lack of interiority absolutely butchers the characters of jade + jane, who are otherwise RIFE with potential. like, jade is a completely unflinching, unapologetic asshole to nate + his family, and that's never interrogated. even in Sitcom Land™, it's more than reasonable to view jade's actions as racist, especially when she doesn't give the same treatment to others (at least not as i recall? honestly i usually watch the taste of athens scenes while peeking out behind my hands, so i could 100% be wrong here). and yet, suddenly, and completely inexplicably, she's charmed by nate. she wants to give him the time of day. she finds him attractive, and wants to date him, and generally take control of his life and force him into a decision that is literally the exact opposite of what he expressed wanting to do. except even that LAST thing isn't allowed to be interrogated, bc god FORBID a woman is enough of a fully realised creation to actually be culpable of the terrible shit they do!

and fucking jane??? beard's so head-over-heels for this woman that the emotional abuse + extremely controlling tendencies don't even make him bat an eye, and we don't get to know anything about her? she's literally just the suggestion of an alluring woman! good at sex! good at chess! fuck you if you wanna know more, even though the show ENDLESSLY hits you over the head with how painful their relationship is for beard - beard who is given virtually no other storyline. like, i literally can't read brendan's refusal to label jane as abusive as anything other than like. that bio-essentialism shit where ppl 'women are better than men <3' so hard that they end up genuinely and wholeheartedly arguing that someone's sex defines their morals - or worse, that their sex is a deciding factor in determining whether someone's actions are good or bad. not context, but a legitimate 'add points if woman, take away points if man' variable.

like that's so feminism 101 it's legitimately almost worse than nothing. that's like getting as far as 'hey so you know how we're all inundated with both implicit + explicit messaging abt what is Valued and Good for women vs men to-' before shoving ur earplugs in and going 'if you are oppressed by society we'll automatically stamp a 'good person' label on ur head and now we don't have to think abt any of our biases + internalised beliefs ever again <333'. the most useless and fucking pointless stand against the patriarchy ever, especially coming from the same show that ENDLESSLY slots characters into the 'loving gf/wife' archetype and then give them Literally Nothing Else. my comrades you have literally just done madonna/whore 2: oops all madonnas! this is not liberation!!!! this is a miserable cage!!!!!!!!!

im just. higgins' wife. mae. trent's daughter and anonymous 'her'. the women at the hotel and the restaurants and the firm and the fucking physios, fuck - dani's gfs! who are they? what do they want? where do they go when the camera stops rolling? can anyone hear me?? hello??? hello???? brendan hunt i am OUTSIDE YOUR HOUUUUUUSE

#ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso meta #ted lasso critical #dead girls by p.enelope s.cott has been stuck in my head for approximately a month bc of this fucking show #its so fucking nuts being treated to rebecca + keeley in s1 and then slowly realising w dawning horror that its literally only down from #here. and also listen nothing but respect to my comrades out there who can take michelle + henry as written #and immediately + painlessly extrapolate from their significance in ted's life to viewing them as like. important figures narratively #but to me they literally never got beyond the carboard cutout stage? like. yes thank you if u love ur family its sad when u leave them.#why'd he leave them then lol.#LIKE. if both michelle AND henry are just these. passive vessels who are neither invested in ted staying OR leaving london #and the only motivation we're EVER given for ted's move is 'michelle wanted space'. like sorry for wanting an actual deconstruction of ted'#motivations rather than the worst mystery box of all time! if i wanted a story abt 'man misses family :( please don't ask any questions abt #the family in question-' i could just close my eyes and imagine a stock image of a sad business man.#wagh. ted bud they gave you so much potential + so many demons and then just wiped them away w no exploration outside of like. two #scenes w sharon. u are also in this cage king but at least u got a good two seasons of mc character energy before they locked the door :(#something something sorry for having an ace attorney witness stand breakdown when the show i liked Was Bad. do u still want to be mutuals

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pearlpool · 20 days

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#this was. not prompted by anything recent i’m just thinking about it #but idk Why my friends feel compelled to make jokes about me hating butches????#like it’s obviously not TRUE….. and like i shouldn’t get upset if it’s not true but #it resurfaces a time of my life (think. when i was like 18) that is really really embarassing #it just makes me feel like i haven’t changed. which i have #and i know it’s all jokes and almost always has to do with discussing characters from stuff or whatever #but still. it feels like that kind of mean spirited joking where you’re actually kind of seriously making an accusation underneath the joke #ykwim #anyways. i love butches and these jokes are dumb and the next time one is made i will say something fr #bc i don’t wanna be stuck as the image of me who is fresh out of high school. jesus christ #i think the main one i’m thinking of is like #i had mentioned that i used to not think that jaina from naddpod was hot #when like. she clearly is. and also is implied to be butch or at least my friends hc her as butch #and everyone dogpiled on me and was like SO YOU HATE BUTCHES #and like i tried to earnestly be like No why would you say that 😭 but nobody paid me any mind. idk #it’s happened at other times in a similar way and again it’s a JOKE but it still gets to me #diary

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clefaiiiry · 2 months

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Khada “I have a compulsion to commit atrocities as a way of coping with feelings of inadequacy and nihilism because there is no beauty in the world so I must create my own twisted version of it the only way I know how” Jhin

Lukai “I see beauty in all things no matter how ugly or dark they might be, and I want to see the best in everyone and help them reach their fullest potential like I never had the chance to even if they don’t deserve it” Hwei

#ria.txt #jhin is like fake deep he’s like a Reddit atheist #but most of his motivation does come from a very deep potent low self image so he overembelishes #jhin sees himself as deformed and broken and completely incapable of living a normal life #he has a compulsion for committing atrocities and sees no reason to resist because there is nothing for him but death and his ‘art’#vs hwei who grows up with a very contained idea of what is ‘acceptable’ and ‘unacceptable’#Hwei hasn’t had the opportunity to do any real introspection before jhin comes along because he’s not given the freedom to do so #so hwei isn’t really sure who he is outside of his art so he defines himself by it #there is darkness in them both but the main difference is that hwei ultimately resists his because he sees purpose in living life #‘no one can take the part of me that just wants to live’#is one of my favourite hwei lines because Jesus you just fucking nailed it #I’m rambling now I’m stuck at work and very tired #league of legends

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luvrbunni · 4 months

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ik ive not been active at all anyways sort of explanation/me complaining in tags

#i have gotten progressively worse lately in terms of physical health and its just taken a lot out of me tbh #over the past few months ive developed chronic pain and fatigue drs still arent sure if its fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue but whatev #in any case ive been in tremendous pain everywhere it's not been fun at all #i also have this new thing where i get a tremor if i hold things too hard and while it is relatively painless it still is making life harde #esp since i am an art student so im kind of stuck not rly knowing what to do atp #ive just not been in the best mindset and while i recognise that disability is not ugly in any way i do just feel harder to love now #like i dont think my personality is fun enough to make up for all this idk if that makes any real sense #ive also been temporarily put on birth control its a long story but it's only until i get scheduled for a minor surgery most probably #but yanno birth control has unfun side effects and i feel like im going crazy most days #ik this all probably sounds pretty silly but idk. its been hard to feel genuinely attractive lately.#forgot to add this but there was some other stuff that happened thats definitely effecting just my self image and libido and stuff lately #long story short someone i trusted ended up crossing multiple physical boundaries and passed uncomfortable comments abt me and similar shit #its not been fun to deal with in any way yk?

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gelatinorifice · 2 years

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In celebration of vol. 333 and Pride Month I gift to you, my yummy yummy children, The Gender

#yucky art #Based on the one image Alex tweeted a while ago #I’m rly proud of this actually :) It took me a while to make mainly bc I was busy with other things but!!! I’m happy with how it turned out!#Also first time attempting semi-realistic wing which I referenced off an old angel painting from google images dot com #I stuck the words on it with black paint instead of glue ejfjkdkdkkfkkdkd #I now hc Gabriél has no hair besides the hair on their head #Meaning no eyebrows or eyelashes or anything #Plus a complete absence of wrinkles even on areas that *should* have wrinkles like the hands #Which also means they have no fingerprints #Also no fingernails either #Or pores #Imagine a roman statue coming to life and thats basically how I picture them #the mandela catalogue #tmc #tmc fanart #analog horror #sus gabriel #alex kister

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fakeoutbf · 6 months

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#food tw #body image tw #hi i feel like this whole week has been a lot and it’s culminated today in me having an anxiety attack over my body #so i thought i’d just let some feelings out please feel free to just skip over this #logically i know that my body and what it looks like isn’t representative of my value as a person #i completely get that and i know that the thought is insane #but growing up with the specific model of being skinny and pretty so ppl find you attractive / appealing is so hard to unlearn some days #this is the heaviest weight i’ve been in my life probably and it isn’t even that much but it just means my body looks different #which makes it fit and look differently in clothes i used to take comfort in #and sure i’ve gotten bigger sizes and it’s no big deal but my brain chose today to hyperfixate on the fact that my love handles are bigger #and create this dip in my hips that didn’t use to be there and now i’m panicking over eating so much bread and carbs and not working out and #winter season coming up and all the carb rich food endorsed during that time and my mom craving more sweets and offering me as well #and IT SHOULDN’T FUCKING MATTER but for YEARS one of the only things i had ‘control’ over was my weight #and now that everything else has gone to shit i can’t get myself to have control over this thing and it’s making me feel even worse #and then i think of eating better but it just seems so hard when i have no motivation to actually make myself healthier meals and i just #i’m stuck in a standstill of wanting to get better but my brain shutting down and being exhausted after work and idk what to do #i know i need to be kinder on myself but also i want to change but idk where or how to start #i know i have to do it alone but fuck everything is so much scarier alone

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snugglyporos · 2 months

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// what, me? adopting a spongebob plot again? never.

#the forgot the pickles episode lives rent free in my head #the image of toast nailed to a wall has stuck with me my entire life #childhood memories? don't need them.#toast on wall? eternal memory.

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hagravenholm · 7 months

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#I miss having 3 meals everyday #I miss my mom #I miss going to LGSs and playing games or buying comics #I miss fnm… I miss my friends and drinking w them and having fun staying up all nights #I miss when it felt like I wasn’t the outsider #it’s just pretty awful. having to sit and think about it all alone from this room #I miss feeling valued… I miss being a part of a group #my whole life is just a series of temporary people and places that I can never truly ever just integrate into. be a part of.#all of it meant a lot to me and to me only…#I hope one day I can get some of the life I want back… but I doubt it.#no one has ever just stuck with me so far no one has ever actually taken me in and along for the whole ride.#it always conditions that I can’t meet.#be this be social never experience outward negative emotions. never let the facade slip.#and then I do of course bc I can’t keep up the image of a neurotypical normal happy person forever.#but my moms dead. so I’m never getting anything true or pure ever again I think. not when it comes to love.#it’s all fickle it’s all conditional. which isn’t to excuse myself from my perceived sins or whatever #not that god is real but #it’s just so incredibly difficult trying to survive now. Is it any wonder #whatever. hopefully this burden will ease and I’ll get hit by a car in Atlanta #then I won’t have to think about a loveless future I can’t afford and am so far from.#it’s called settling ig. I wish I knew how to get along fine and not constantly be pining and plagued by memories…#anyway much ado #personal #vent

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ozzgin · 3 months

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The wonderful wizard Ozz. I have had this concept stuck in my head like a worm!

Could you imagine a Darling escaping from their Yan, not to run but just to feel the rain on their skin? I've been consuming this prompt like a heroin addict and I can't seem to get enough!

If I were to expand your prompt, I quite like the idea of a Yandere that can't really go full yandere because Reader is just too willing. He loves yandere content and can very much relate, but none of the escalations can happen if, well, the object of his obsessive affection doesn't protest in the first place. Is it too far fetched from what you'd imagined? Let me elaborate:

Yandere! Male x Willing! Reader

AKA: When you want to be a Yandere, but your Darling unfortunately cooperates.

The Yandere has been stalking Darling for months. Journal entries, walls plastered with photos (and the occasional creepshots), recordings. He just can't get enough of his Darling. He loves everything about you and can barely function throughout the day, fantasizing about your life together.

Enough is enough and he finally decides to make you his. He's been consuming media of similar tropes, with obsessed men pleading for a chance and having to force their way in because of rejection and fear. He's prepared for everything. Your tears, your trembling voice, your hands pushing him away. He finds you, approaches you and confesses his feelings, knuckles white as he grips his fists in anticipation. Your eyes widen for a moment, before narrowing in a smile. "I had no idea! Sure, I'll go out with you." Huh? Wait. This wasn't...this wasn't in the plan. Somehow he'd been certain you'd refuse. He must've mumbled the last part out loud, because you respond with "Why would I say no?"

A very good point indeed. You will change your mind, however, once you learn the extent of his love. You're holding his hand and following along as he takes you to his place, completely and utterly unaware of what you're about to witness. He can't truly be your boyfriend if he has to hide his very nature, after all. You might be disgusted, frightened, offended. He can already hear your screams, demanding explanations. It's all out of love. "It's okay if you don't understand", he mumbles to himself, watching your frozen body as you gaze into his room. You take a couple of steps towards the nearest wall, tracing the hundreds of images with your fingers. "Wow. You never mentioned being into photography", you remark, impressed. "It's like an exhibition! But...you might have to work on your angles", you blurt out, a little embarrassed, pointing to one of the creepshots. "This isn't very flattering. Did you take it in a hurry? It makes my legs look disproportionate." He can only stare, taken aback. "S-sorry" is all he manages.

Okay, but don't imagine your life will continue as usual. You've only seen a glimpse of his adoration. Now that you're officially dating, he cannot allow anyone else to have access to you. You have to understand, he cannot protect you properly if you're not under his watch all the time. As much as he cherishes you, he will have to be rough if needed. That's what he tells himself as he shoves the required tools in the trunk of his car, speeding towards your apartment. Once there, he fidgets on the sofa, considering his speech. You seem to be just as uneasy - perhaps you're predicting what's to come? - casting your eyes down and giving short answers. "I think you should move in with me." He states solemnly. You gasp and throw a hand over your mouth, and tears quickly well in the corner of your eyes. "How did you...how did you know?" You say between sobs. Huh? "I didn't want to burden you with my problems, seeing as we just started dating...but my landlord won't renew the lease. I was so scared I'd be homeless."

He clicks his tongue. This isn't very yandere, more like the average couple experience. You bring the final moving box to his car, fitting it in the trunk. "By the way, what's with all the rope?" you ask. "Just move it aside", he sighs. How can he explain it? He's been training, sweating and bleeding for a marathon and right before the whistle, they handed him the first prize. His muscles are aching for the sprint that never happened. Of course he's grateful to have you at last, but somehow he feels like he hasn't proven his dedication properly. You just don't get it, do you? How sickening his love is for you.

As the days pass, he eases into his role of...how does one even call it? Pseudo-captor? When you found his journal, you blushed and confessed how no one before him put this amount of effort into knowing you. All the male contacts from your phone vanishing? It was about time you cleaned up your acquaintances and it was nice of him to help. The AirTags he's hidden in your bags and pockets? You appreciate his safety concerns. Nowadays, with all these perverts freely walking the streets, you can never be too sure.

One morning he wakes up to an empty bed. He jolts up, dazed. Could it be his wish was finally granted? You must've gotten tired of him and tried to escape. Oh, silly little Darling love. You should've known there's no more walking out once you said yes. He checks his phone and pounces out, ready for the hunt. As he sprints along the street, he finds you suspiciously close to his home. Not very smart of you to...what are you even doing? Your hands are raised up, fingers fanned out under the pouring rain. You notice his presence and turn to face him with a wide, childish grin. "I haven't done this since I was a child. When was the last time you felt the rain on your skin?" Only now it occurs to him he's been running in this downpour and his clothes are soaked. He was too focused on finding you.

"I thought you escaped", he almost whispers. "Escape? From what?" You tilt your head in confusion. He places his cold, large hands over your cheeks. "Do you comprehend I'm very much obsessed with you? I'm not joking around. You're never, ever leaving me. You're stuck here forever. I mean it. I really do. I'd rather kill you with my own hands than let you go. Because I love you." You take a moment to admire the intricate patterns of his irises, pupils dilated in a spiraling madness. By the end of his erratic oration, he's panting and digging his nails into your skin.

"I know."

#yet another parody I'm so sorry #yandere #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #yandere x you #male yandere #male yandere x reader #yandere headcanons #yandere scenarios #yandere imagines #yandere obsession #obsessive love #tw yandere #yandere oc x reader #gender neutral reader #gn reader

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maniculum · 7 months

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Medieval Scorpions Effortpost

So yesterday I reblogged this post featuring an 11th-century depiction of the Apocalypse Locusts from Revelations, noting the following incongruity as another medieval scorpion issue:

The artist, as you can see, has interpreted "tails like scorpions" as meaning "glue cheerful-looking snakes to their butts".

Anyway, it occurred to me that the medieval scorpion thing might not be as widely known as I think it is, and that Tumblr would probably enjoy knowing about it if it isn't known already. So, finding myself unable to focus on the research I'm supposed to be doing, I decided to write about this instead. I'll just go ahead and put a cut here.

As we can see in the image above, at least one artist out there thought a "scorpion" was a type of snake. Which makes it difficult to draw "tails like scorpions", because a snake's tail is not that distinctive or menacing (maybe rattlesnakes, but they don't have those outside the Americas). So they interpreted "tails like scorpions" as "the tail looks like a whole snake complete with head".

Let me tell you. This is not a problem unique to this illustration.

See, people throughout medieval Europe were aware of scorpions. As just alluded to, they are mentioned in the Bible, and if the people producing manuscripts in medieval Europe knew one thing, it was Stuff In Bible. They're also in the Zodiac, which medieval Europe had inherited through classical sources. However, let's take a look at this map:

That's Wikipedia's map of the native range of the Scorpiones order, i.e., all scorpion species. You may notice something -- the range just stops at a certain northern latitude. Pretty much all of northern Europe is scorpion-free. If you lived in the north half of Europe, odds were good you had never seen a scorpion in your life. But if you were literate or educated at all, or you knew they were a thing, because you'd almost certainly run across them being mentioned in texts from farther south. And those texts wouldn't bother to explain what a scorpion was, of course -- everyone knows scorpions, right? When was the last time you stopped to explain What Is Spiders?

So medieval writers and artists in northern Europe were kind of stuck. There was all this scorpion imagery and metaphor in the texts they liked to work from, but they didn't really know what a scorpion was. Writers could kind of work around it (there's a lot of "oh, it's a venomous creature, moving on"), but sometimes they felt the need to break it down better. For this, of course, they'd have to refer to a bestiary -- but due to Bestiary Telephone and the persistent need of bestiary authors to turn animals into allegories, one of the only visual details you got on scorpions was that they... had a beautiful face, which they used to distract people in order to sting them.

And look. I'm not here to yuck anyone's yum, but I would say that a scorpion's face has significant aesthetic appeal only for a fairly small segment of the population. I'm sure you could get an entomologist to rhapsodize about it a bit, but your average person on the street will not be entranced by the face of a scorpion. So this did not help the medieval Europeans in figuring out how to depict scorpions. There was also some semantic confusion -- see, in some languages (such as Old and Middle English), "worm" could be a general term for very small animals of any kind. But it also could mean "serpent".* So there were some, like our artist at the top of the post, who were pretty sure a scorpion was a snake. This was probably helped along by the fact that "venomous" was one of the only things everyone knew about them, and hey, snakes are venomous. Also, Pliny the Elder had floated the idea that there were scorpions in Africa that could fly, and at least one author (13th-century monk Bartholomaeus Anglicus) therefore suggested that they had feathers. I don't see that last one coming up much, I just share it because it's funny to me.

*English eventually resolved this by borrowing the Latin vermin for very small animals, using the specialized spelling wyrm for big impressive mythical-type serpents, and sticking with the more specific snake for normal serpents.

Some authors, like the anonymous author of the Ancrene Wisse, therefore suggested that a scorpion was a snake with a woman's face and a stinging tail. (Everyone seemed to be on the same page with regards to the fact that the sting was in the tail, which is in fact probably the most recognizable aspect of scorpions, so good job there.) However, while authors could avoid this problem, visual artists could not. And if you were illustrating a bestiary or a calendar, including a scorpion was not optional. So they had to take a shot at what this thing looked like.

And so, after this way-too-long explanation, the thing you're probably here for: inaccurate medieval drawings of scorpions. (There are of course accurate medieval drawings of scorpions, from artists who lived in the southern part of Europe and/or visited places where scorpions lived; I'm just not showing you those.) And if you find yourself wondering, "how sure are you that that's meant to be a scorpion?" -- all of these are either from bestiaries or from calendars that include zodiac illustrations.

11th-century England, MS Arundel 60. (Be honest, without the rest of this post, if I had asked you to guess what animal this was supposed to be, would you have ever guessed “scorpion”?)

12th-century Germany, "Psalter of Henry the Lion". (Looks a bit undercooked. Kind of fetal.)

12th-century France, Peter Lombard's Sententiae. (Very colorful, itsy bitsy claws, what is happening with that tail?)

12th-century England, "The Shaftesbury Psalter". (So a scorpion is some sort of wyvern with a face like a duck, correct?)

13th-century France, Thomas de Cantimpré's Liber de natura rerum. (I’d give them credit for the silhouette not being that far off, but there’s a certain bestiary style where all the animals kind of look like that. Also note how few of these have claws.)

13th-century England, "The Bodley Bestiary". (Mischievous flying squirrel impales local man’s hand, local man fails to notice.)

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (A scorpion is definitely either a mouse or a fish. Either way it has six legs.)

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Wait, no, it’s a baby theropod, and it has two legs. (Yes, this is the same manuscript, that’s not an error, this artist did four scorpions and no two are the same.))

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Actually it’s a lizard with tiny ears and it has four legs.)

13th-century England, Harley MS 3244. (Now that we’re at the big fancy illustration, I think I’ve got it — it’s like that last one, but two legs, longer ears, and a less goofy face. Also I’ve decided it’s not pink anymore, I think that was the main problem.)

13th-century England, MS Kk.4.25. (A scorpion is a flat crocodile with a bear’s head.)

13th-century England, "The Huth Psalter". (Wyvern but baby! Does not seem to be enjoying biting its own tail.)

13th-century England, MS Royal 1 D X. (This triangular-headed gentlecreature gets the award for “closest guess at correct limb configuration”. If two of those were claws, I might actually believe this artist had seen a scorpion before, or at least a picture of one.)

13th-century England, "The Westminster Psalter". (A scorpion is the offspring of a wyvern and a fawn.)

13th-century England, "The Rutland Psalter". (Too many legs! Pull back! Pull back!)

13th or 14th-century France, Bestiaire d'amour rimé. (This is very similar to the fawn-wyvern, but putting it in an actual Scene makes it even more obvious that you’re just guessing.)

14th-century Netherlands, Jacob van Maerlant's Der Naturen Bloeme. (More top-down six-legged guys that look too furry to be arthropods.)

14th-century Germany, MS Additional 22413. (That is clearly a turtle.)

14th-century France, Matfres Eymengau de Beziers's Breviari d'amor. (Who came up with that head shape and what was their deal?)

15th-century England, "Bestiary of Ann Walsh". (Screw it, a scorpion is a big lizard that glares at you for trying to make me draw things I don’t know about.)

I've spent way too much time on this now. End of post, thank you to anyone who got all the way down here.

#medieval #medieval creatures #medieval art #scorpions #medieval scorpions #manuscript #medieval manuscripts #illuminated manuscript

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diejager · 5 months

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random thought but… stepdad!König fucking reader after finding out they wanna be in a relationship with him and saying “I’m going to marry you” or “I’ll make you mine one day” or smth like that. 🤭 and dbf!Horangi just kinda agreeing with him while sandwiching reader from the back, already having an idea of being the husband’s best friend that fucks his wifey 💝💝💝

—🎀—

Gah- that pink bow has my heart😵‍💫 cw: smut, STEPCEST, DUB-CON, creampie, sex marathon?, phone sex? Double penetration, p in v, breeding kink, pregnancy kink, cheating, marriage, tell me if I missed any.

For a second, he forgot how to breathe, his knees weak and fingers twitching, his cheeks flushed with the joy he felt. Your little confession riled him up, your sweet tears and pout gave him the hardest erection he’d ever lived. Sweet, innocent words that would’ve seemed blasphemous to any other, sounded erotic, making his blood boil and arousal simmer under his skin. It worked through his body with tight and rushing pleasure, pumping blood down to his engorged cock and heavy balls.

“I want you,” sealed the deal, commanding his body to pound you into your bed, make you forget you ever had a life without him - he promised it.

And promised he did, he fucked you all day, pressing you down on your bed, folding you in half as keened loudly. The bed creaked and the wooden headboard slamming into the wall behind it with every rock of his hips, fingers gripping your soft bedsheets and toes curling over his shoulder. You were stuck beneath him until the time he knew your mother would be back, taking every moment he had to watch his cock push in you and back out with a ring of cum and slick around his thick cock.

At first, he took you alone, slamming into your while you mewled out, your sweet sounds reaching the hungry ears of your neighbour on the phone. König had called Horangi in a blur, his mirth infectious, making Horangi happy, chuckling out praises to you and giving his word that he’d come by after his exercise at the gym. Your stepdad kept his friend on the phone, the Korean wearing EarPods during his whole course, working out with his cock throbbing and pushing against his shorts.

An hour in, waking up after you passed out in pleasure, eyes rolled to the back of your head in white pleasure, Horangi made himself home, naked and kneeling between your thighs. You let out a surprised moan, back arching when he drove his tongue inside your twitching hole, his thumb rolling your sensitive clit. He took his take taking you apart, watching you flay and cream all over him, covering is face with slick.

Near delirious and body oversensitive, you felt them push into you, softly alternating between both cocks stuffing your stretched cunt. You were trapped between them, body pushed back and fourth, feeling them fill you up, bottoming out, balls slapping the other man, pulling out to the tip and slamming back in. You bucked your hips, chasing their cocks, nails digging into Horangi’s shoulder, gasping and moaning with your legs spread open by König’s hands.

“I’ll marry you, ja, Schatz?” König growled, pumping you full of cum, womb stuffed full with his and Horangi’s charged load. “Breed you and make you mine.”

“Fuck, I can’t wait to suck your tits,” Horangi couldn’t stop himself from agreeing, mind conjuring every image of your swollen stomach and wobbling walk. “Drink your sweet milk.”

“Do you want that, Schnucki?”

All you could do was nod, throat sore from screaming and body limp in your stepfather’s arms, your eyes were heavy chest puffing with loud, exhausted breaths. You liked their idea, marrying, breeding, becoming theirs, perhaps their delusions finally got to you.

Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @tallmanlover @distracteddragoness @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @konigsblog @havoc973 @im-making-an-effort @daisychainsinknots @0alk0msan @danielle143 @dont-mind-me-just-existing-sadly

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