Hi!! I hope I'm not disturbing you but I wanted to ask how do I work hard. Because when I was younger I got really good marks without trying and now the subjects are hard and social media is distracting but I can't seem to delete it. This is also why my grades are even low then before and I'm really afraid to disappoint my parents (being the eldest daughter doesn't help). So can you please just give me some pointers on how can I actually study and not just cry because I don't know how to. Have a great day!! <3
literally omg. is this past me asking me a question?? like actually u have no idea how much i relate and understand this. the "gifted child" who always got good grades without needing to study now finds things more difficult. i know many people have said this, but i actually have been through this not too long ago. i hope these tips help <3
how to work hard + actually study (realistic)
forget hard work. at least do the work! (its so funny because i literally had a post about this all ready in my drafts about to get posted, so i'll keep this short and link the post.) stop focussing on doing hard work like studying 24/7. just put in the basic necessities you need to get a better grade. hard work post link
use the disappointment and embarrassment as fuel. (basically find a very strong why) (mini story-ish thing coming up, skip to the blue text for the actual advice) i still remember the day i got such a bad score on my math and science test, i was FURIOUS at myself and i cried about it! telling it to my parents was one of the hardest things i had to do and feeling their disappointment was even worse. but that became my turning point. i was so ashamed of myself and i resented me so much that i basically just told myself "i dont freaking care what you feel *with distaste*. you brought this on yourself you failure" (a bit very harsh, yes i know) but the way i studied that week- i studied more than i every had before! also doing this doesnt really lower my self esteem a whole lot, but if it does with you, please be gentle with yourself. : so what i'm trying to say it; use that feeling of shame and disapointment as a fuel, a motivation. The big “why”.
ALTER EGOOOSSSS. this helps SOOOO MUCH its so underrated. embody the energy of your fav people who are the academic inspiration you wanna be! example: rory gilmore, paris geller, elle woods, blair waldorf, etc etc! not only is this so helpful but it also makes it so much more fun and easier!!
parent yourself. i used to tell myself to do stuff like "go study now!" or "get up lazy-butt" but in my mind. but what if you tried to say those stuff out loud to yourself? it just creates a whole new level of real. So start telling yourself to do stuff out loud.
honestly just start. stop letting yourself think about how "uncomfortable" and how "annoying" it will be. All you need to know is that you need to get it done. Right? Ok. So now what’s the next smallest step you can take to getting to do the unwanted task? It may be taking out your material, opening your book, etc.
( !! tough love, but very important rant coming up)
You privileged brat. Your parents gave up EVERYTHING so you could have the education that you are having. They worked so so hard for YOU. So YOU can have the life you want. And all for what? Just for you to throw it all away and say “oh im lazy”. HELL NAH.
And also, do you realise how fortunate you are to be even living in such a time/ era where you have access to basically EVERYTHING? You’re stuck on something? You could easily search it up!! And whats more is that you can further learn. You can search up and find out more about the thing that you’re studying, become the smartest person in your class, get so ahead in life.
I hope you realise that if you do use all the resources and materials and help that’s been given to you, just imagine how far you could go! Further than Albert Einstine, Elon Musk, etc. you may be like “what! No that’s gonna be too hard!” But did they have the tools that you have right at your hand? No! They made it all the way with just simple stuff and having to work super hard. But you live in a time where you can do TWICE as much without working as hard!!
And one more thing, QUIT WHINING. “Oh school is so hard!” “Oh school is so boring!” Like whattt???? You are so FORTUNATE and LUCKY to be even getting access to such education! MILLIONS of kids out there would kill to be able to learn what you are so easily dismissing right now. So TAKE ADVANTAGE OF WHAT YOU HAVE. Put your ALL, your very BEST into studying and getting good grades because THAT is whats gonna take you so SO far in life.
Thank you very much, *mic drop*. (i still ly pookie)
dealing with social media:
put the screen time widget on your phone home screen. i did this, and i became so embarrassed by the amount of screen time i had in one day (*cough* 12 hours *cough*) that i made certain to stop using it as much.
screen time limits. this may or may not help you, bc i know that when i knew the screen time password, it didn't do a lot of help but when someone else did (like parents or someone you trust), then it definitely worked. this is probably only best if you're a child around under 14 ish bc thats around the age when most parents put screen time limits + after that age you're gonna be a lot more independent.
more *extremely* helpful resourses:
tips to decrease your phone screen time by @imbusystudying
how to reduce your screen time in the digital age? (an article)
studying tips from a straight-A student by @universalitgirlsblog2
how to study like paris geller by @4theitgirls
more blogs i recomend:
@elonomhblog @mindfulstudyquest @study-diaries @thatbitchery
xoxo, vanilla
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Various "Failures" From My Google Docs
Good morning! I'm at my usual coffee shop and got inspired by the troubles of a few friends to embarrass myself.
Sit down with me. I'm enjoying my usual blended chai. There's room on the couch if you'd like to join me.
So I've written thirteen novels. I think thirteen, I've actually lost count. Let's say, like, five full-length plays and twelve to fourteen finished novels. Impressive, right? Maybe. I'm realizing that I consider that not much of a brag, if only because I know the amount of trips and stumbles it took to get to one completed project.
I've ditched a lot of ideas. A lot. If I need to I can dig into my old hard drives to find all the doc files from my youth, but I also have the same Google Docs I've had since middle school.
It's mostly plays and ghostwriting assignments, but if you did you'll find some snippets from my constant attempts at growth.
Some stuff like this is okay. The line "hair slicked back/suit black silk" is pretty good, but a little too the writer thinks they're clever for me now. I don't really remember where I planned to go with this. I think the narrator was somehow going to be given the identity of Roy Fontaine. I was really fixated on the surname Fontaine at the time. I don't know why.
But then there's also a lot of stuff like this:
Hey look it's Fontaine again! I guess he's a doctor, too! Also I am astounded by how casually the main character just pulls out the Necronomicon. He pulls it out? From where? His pocket? Is it a zine?
I don't know why, but something about how suddenly this jumps in terms of dropping specifics makes me think that Sonic the Hedgehog is about to show up. I can't explain it.
This is the only thing in a Doc titled "Psychosis". I have zero memory of what I was planning on doing with this. What's kind of crazy though is that I wrote this in 2014, and six years later I'll use essentially this exact bit in a finished novel without even realizing it.
Another bit from 2014. No clue what I planned to do with this. It's hilarious to me that something stopped me from finishing the sentence. What am I, Franz Kafka writing The Tower? I didn't die. I wasn't raptured. I just apparently tried to think of something a large oak door would do and immediately gave up. It was 2014 I had finished, like, four novels. And this idea was fully stalled by what had to be a fucking huge oak door.
My favorite part of this radio play I tried to write is that somehow, believe it or not - when I wrote this I did not fully understand the Quantum Suicide thought experiment. And for along time I still kind of thought that this could be salvaged into a good idea, until last night when I asked my wife to put on a video describing the experiment and I immediately found it so dumb. Just ridiculously stupid. The only good thing about Quantum Mickey is that the title kicks ass and I'm definitely keeping it for something.
I've written a lot. A lot. I've earned the severity of carpal tunnel I currently have. If I had to put it into a statistic, I'd say maybe seventy percent ends up finished. fifty percent ends up polished to be read or published. Thirty percent actually ends up being read or published. I'm okay with this, because I enjoy the work. But for me, part of enjoying the work is not panicking when a project doing work.
If I need to end a project in the middle of a sentence, I do. I've clearly proven that I do. Sometimes I write for thirty pages and lose interest, other times I get a paragraph in and get distracted forever. That's okay.
That's okay. As long as you're doing something.
I could've included segments of Carnation, my first novella that was supposed to be a novel but I never finished it. But I fucking guess that's getting it's own post when I hit 150 followers so I hope you're prepared for what the type of stuff I enjoyed in middle school.
There's an Irish child that speaks exclusively in slang. You aren't ready.
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idk why i think i can be an artist for a career when i can barely get myself to do it in my free time *curls up and dies*
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22 isn't very much at all, I think.
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in my workhating era :/
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Smother Me | L.MH
wc: 2.5k
pairing: Lee Minho X Fem!Reader
warnings: smut MDNI, rimming (m rec), teasing, established relationship, praise (both rec), overstim, kind of switch!Minho?? like hes a dom in this but theres parts that are kinda subby idk, petnames (bunny, bub, baby,etc..), degradation and kind of dumbification, cum eating, handjob, hair pulling and a little face grabbing but nothing too mean, Minho has a filthy mouth, lmk if i missed anything!!
A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts for weeks and i could not bring myself to post it because i kept wanting to add or change things but... listen i just cant get this out of my head and yeah... i need to suffocate between this mans thighs asap.
You could not be blamed for the thoughts swimming around in your head nor for your failure to participate in any of the conversations taking place around you. Your boyfriend knew exactly what he was doing to you and if anything he was reveling in your frustrations. A conversation that took place only a few days ago comes to your mind as you trace your eyes across your current infatuation.
“Lee Minho, do you know just how well you wear those pants?” His ears instantly turned bright red at your comment, only then realizing the intense stare you had lingering on his lower half. Your greedy eyes were savoring every inch of his muscular calves, bulging thighs, and cute little ass wrapped tightly in his faux leather pants. He coughed slightly, partially because his throat was suddenly feeling very dry, and partially because he wasn't used to you being so forward.
Throughout your relationship Minho has always been the initiator, him being the one to ask you out on a date, asking you to officially be his girlfriend, and every minor or major step you took together.
One thing he has always found endearing about you was how easily flustered you become each time he compliments you or offers you light teasing touches. More often than not, when he was fucking you into oblivion and whispering filthy things to you, you couldn't even respond in full sentences.
So hearing you make such a bold statement with a borderline predatory look in your eyes sent a chill up his spine.
“Quit looking at me like I’m a piece of meat..” he rolled his eyes as yours stayed zeroed in on his legs. “My eyes are up here bub.” His fingers lightly gripped your jaw, forcing you to readjust your focus.
You found your mind running wild with ideas and images that you would be embarrassed to admit to. Yet the smirk on your boyfriend's lips told you that the attention you were giving him wasn't unwanted - despite his comments.
“Guess I'll have to start wearing these more often.”
Leading you to where you are now, a mutual friends birthday party, surrounded by acquaintances chatting about who knows what while your horrible tease of a boyfriend practically eye fucks you from across the room. You would be a liar and a hypocrite if you didn’t admit to also eye fucking him, but with the way he looked tonight you couldn’t be held responsible. He was wearing a silky navy blue button up leaving the top few buttons left undone, along with a thick black choker wrapped deliciously around his throat. In addition to those ridiculously tight leather pants, his messy long hair was only adding to how insanely hot he looked.
You always found him attractive, whether that be when he first wakes up early in the morning, after getting his hair and makeup done for a shoot, even after a week long of exhausting schedules when he was on the brink of collapsing. You adored every side of him, the good, the bad, and the ugly (although you would argue that he doesn’t have an ugly side). But something about the way the material wrapped around his thigh muscles made him feel like a present you were just dying to unwrap.
He had been kind enough to tease you thoroughly before leaving your shared apartment, leaving you needy and slightly cranky from not getting what you wanted.
For the past hour you had been texting him, begging for him to take you home and ruin you. Each of your pleas were ignored, the words read almost taunting you as he made casual talk with his friends.
doris mom🐱💛: min please
doris mom🐱💛: i want to go home
doris mom🐱💛: you have no idea how bad i need you right now
doris mom🐱💛: i’ll do anything please min
doris mom🐱💛: ur being such a meanie
You felt your heart beat faster as you saw three dots pop up to tell you he was typing.
cat butler🐱💙: oh?
cat butler🐱💙: how am i being a “meanie” ??
You wanted to scream at that being the message he decided to respond to but you had his attention and you were not going to lose it.
doris mom🐱💛: ur being a meanie for not letting me suffocate between your thighs and choke on your cock.
Your head snapped up at the sound of your boyfriend violently coughing - evidently he had taken a sip of his drink right before you had pressed send. You immediately ran to him, despite his coughing already beginning to cease, and offered a gentle hand on his back. Rubbing soothing circles between his shoulders as you gave him the most innocent look you could.
“Min what happened? You should be more careful, I don't want you to choke!”
He shot you a quick glare before covering it up with a sickly sweet smile and wrapping an arm around your waist.
He lifted his drink to his lips again to take another sip before the plastic cup tumbled out of his grasp and spilt all over your front. You gasped loudly as the room temperature liquid seeped through your dress, your eyes immediately looking to see if it was being stained.
“oops” You could almost hear the smirk that your boyfriend was fighting to keep off of his face. “baby! I'm so sorry it just slipped out of my hand!”
While you knew that he intentionally spilt his drink all over you, you were unsure if it was as payback for making him choke or if it was an excuse to leave. He quickly rattled off something about needing to get you home to change and said his goodbyes before dragging you out of the party and to his car. You had half a mind to be upset with him for ruining your dress but the idea of finally getting Minho alone took priority in your mind.
As your boyfriend drove you couldn’t help but continue to stare at the way the flesh of his thighs pooled as he sat in the driver's seat. Without hesitation you reached across the center console to place a hand on his thigh, much like he would normally do to you, even offering it a gentle squeeze. He flinched initially at the contact before releasing a shaky chuckle. “I guess delayed gratification makes you bold.”
“I was serious about wanting to suffocate between your thighs.” You began to gently knead his upper thigh feeling the muscle tighten and relax each time you moved higher. “It’s only fair after I let you spend hours between mine last night.”
There it was again, the boldness and confidence that Minho wasn’t quite used to seeing out of you. Part of him loved it, happy to see you feeling so comfortable with him, and yet his more dominant side was telling him to put you in your place. He couldn't lie to himself and say that he wasn't enjoying how obsessive you were being. He loved the idea of you craving him so badly that you were willing to bypass your usual shyness to get what you wanted.
“Careful bunny… you might get more than you bargain for if you keep running that pretty mouth of yours.”
You watch his knuckles turn white as he grips the steering wheel harshly, attempting to suppress the gasp that slips from his mouth as you bring your hand over his bulge. The heel of your palm grinds into him just enough to make him squirm but not enough to relieve any real pressure and you watch as his adams apple jumps when he swallows harshly. He quickly reaches down to snatch your wrist and pull your hand away, seemingly suddenly remembering that he was supposed to be the one in charge.
“Behave until we get home and I might consider fulfilling your requests.”
If you thought he looked good eye fucking you from across the room earlier tonight, you just might have to come up with a new word to describe how he looks right now. He was currently manspreading in front of you, something he does often much to your delight, with his lustful gaze staring down at you. You were currently kneeling between his open legs while he was perched comfortably on your living room sofa. Minho lifted his hand to gently pat your head, smoothing your hair down where he had messed it up during the heated makeout session that took place when you entered your apartment. Despite the obvious lust pooling in his eyes you could also spot the adoration that seemed to be present every time he looked at you and that made your heart thump so aggressively you were sure he could hear it.
Because you had spent the entire day teasing each other you knew that the events that were about to take place were more than likely going to be rough and messy, something that was quite common for you and Minho. So you savored every soft look and gentle touch you were currently getting, certain that you wouldn’t be seeing much more of it until the time for aftercare came around. You nuzzled against his thigh while he continued to pet you, turning your head slightly to press soft kisses against the smooth faux leather. A surprised yelp was ripped out of you when he suddenly gripped your hair and pulled you away from him, forcing your line of sight up to his eyes once again.
“Greedy little bunny… I give you pets after you've done nothing but act like a desperate slut all day and you just can't help yourself.”
“M’sorry Min just wanted to-”
Minho is quick to tighten his grip on your hair while simultaneously grabbing your cheeks and squishing them together, effectively stopping you from speaking.
“I don’t remember asking you to speak?”
The mindless look you give him as you blink slowly at him, your lips smooshed together and your eyebrows furrowed together has his cock twitching against his thigh.
“You said you wanted to suffocate between my thighs?” You nodded dumbly up at him, the prospect of what he was saying making you salivate. “Go on then bunny… If you can manage to make me cum I’ll consider touching your sloppy little pussy after.”
As soon as you were released from his harsh grip you made quick work of undoing his belt and unbuttoning his pants, thankfully he assisted you in tugging them off along with his boxers considering how tightly they hugged him. The instant he was exposed to you, you lurched forward and began pressing kisses and suckling softly on his tanned skin, looking up as he undid the buttons of his shirt. You ran one of your hands up his abdomen feeling his muscles tense beneath your touch while your other hand kneaded the flesh of the thigh you weren't sucking bruises into. His hips shifted forward slightly as he threw his head back, a breathy sigh followed by an appreciative hum told you that he wanted this just as much as you did. You took the opportunity of his hips being so close to the edge of the couch to wrap your arms around him similarly to the way he usually did when he ate your pussy for hours.
The feeling of your wet tongue dragging up his length distracted him from the way you were holding him spread open for you. Despite desperately wanting to fuck your throat Minho couldn't quite bring himself to put a stop to your teasing, especially when you began to swirl your tongue around his leaking tip. You continued teasing him like this for a while, only offering flicks of your tongue against his slit and lazy drags up and down his throbbing cock. A strangled whine came from Minho as you raked your fingernails across his thigh and simultaneously suctioned your lips around his angry red tip. When you heard the delicious sound you had been waiting for you pulled back to do what you had been imagining since the first time you saw him in those pants. Just as he lifted his head to scold you for your endless teasing, the breath was practically knocked out of his lungs as he felt your tongue press against his hole.
“F-Fuck bunny what are you do- holy shit”
The hand that you weren’t using to keep his leg open reached up to wrap around his throbbing length, mostly focusing on twisting around the weeping head of his cock. His eyes could barely stay open as they practically crossed trying to process all of the pleasure you were offering him. You switched between gently fucking your tongue into him and occasionally circling it around his rim. Minho could swear he had never moaned so loudly in his life but it was like his brain had shut off and he couldn’t even begin to care how pornographic he probably sounded.
“Such a dirty little slut for me aren't you baby? Fuuuck… keep going just like that bunny you’re making me feel so good.”
The sounds of his moans and whines combined with the wet squelching sounds and your own satisfied hums that filled the room had you pathetically rubbing your thighs together as you worked. You could feel his heavy cock pulsing in your palm as his hole began to clench and unclench at the prospect of his nearing orgasm. Taking a deep breath you sunk your tongue just a little deeper, until your nose was pressed against him and your access to oxygen was restricted. Adding to the overwhelming pleasure you were giving him you wrapped your hand just a little tighter around his cock, quickening your strokes just enough to have the rope tightening in his stomach. When you began wiggling your tongue deep inside of him he clenched his eyes shut tightly as he felt the rope begin to snap. His moans abruptly stopped as his fingers tangled in your hair, holding you in place as his orgasm violently washed over him. His thighs shook around your head as he came all over his stomach and chest, his hips desperately fucking up into your hand greedily attempting to chase more pleasure.
Only when he felt his eyes begin to water from overstimulation did he nudge your hand away and release the grip he had on your head.
Both of your heavy breaths filled the room as he basked in his post high bliss, enjoying the soft brush of your fingertips against his skin. He flinched slightly as he felt your tongue begin to kitten lick his release off of him, cleaning him up just as he had taught you to. Once you finished he pulled you up onto his lap, immediately attaching his lips to yours, while whispering praises to you in between each kiss.
“I think my bunny deserves a reward for her good behavior.”
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Inspired by that post about Thranduil being all defensive/protective over Gimli in Valinor:
We all know the head canon of Thorin being all "no nephew of mine even associates with an elf" BUT
Just imagine, in a world where all three Durins survived, and Tauriel saved Kili (again), and some other elf healed his and Fìli's wounds last minute.
Thorin saw both his nephews almost die before him, has LIVED through how the gold sickness twists the mind and perception of things, and after coming to terms with Bilbo's theft of the Arkenstone, he for a while questions EVERYTHING.
And yes, he totally has a dramatic phase of self pity, holing up in his rooms, drinking Elvish wine (cus thats all there is atm) and smoking Gandalf's pipeweed, and mourning how "everything i knew is a LIE" and "if elves can make such amazing wine there HAS to be some good in them" and "I almost got my boys killed I am such a failure boooohoooo", and after Bilbo kicks his ass out if depression (and a STRONG worded letter from his sister) he is like "okay FUCK y'all I have TRAUMA TM and will do WHATEVER I WANT!!"
So when Kili all shyly comes forward one day asking if Tauriel can please stay with them in the mountain because she's banished from the Woodland Realm he's all "OF COURSE she can stay, you do you my precious boy, if Thranduil is stupid enough to let such a great warrior go we'll stick it to him"
and BAM, Tauriel joins Dwalin in leading Erebor's guard, and Dwalin is torn between "excuse ME u want me to share my job with a pointy eared maiden?" And "holy hell that lass has fire can't show how impressed I am".
And Tauriel Takes No Shit even from her own boyfriend, so Kìli is forced to take his new responsibilities seriously because "I did NOT lose my home to live with a CHILD, Kili", and Fili gets dragged into the whole thing without really understanding what happened, but hey, his lil brother is happy so who cares really.
And whenever someone at council (like Dain) complains about an Elf in the mountain, Thorin goes absolutely FERAL like "are you saying I don't know what's best for this mountain I just won from A DRAGON?! are you suggesting that my perfect baby nephew has bad taste? Huh? Exactly, didn't think so!!!!" And is a protective Papa bear "listen Tauriel if someone gives you shit you SHOOT them. No, not killing them, but, you know, just maim them a little to make a point. Trust me I'm the king."
And once Kili and Tauriel have their first child Thorin constantly kidnaps the kid and has them in the forge before they can even talk because "need to keep up that good old dwarven influence".
Anyway I'll go cry myself to sleep now.
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HOW I GOT INTO THE VOID STATE !
So here's what I did to get into the void
I gave myself some time...I took a week off from my school , I took a break from Tumblr !!
I made a routine for myself and Here it is :
I Don't gave a fuck to my failed attempts and told myself failure don't exist in my reality! I worked on myself for a week and half
I decided to affirm robotically and sometym with knowing for 10-20 mins every hour and I vaunted every night before going to sleep for 30 mins , I listened to @lotusmi ( her mirage sub since it contains DMT Frequency ) and beauty crystallized's void subliminal on loop overnight and slept while Affirming in head and in the daytime also when I was free ..I started to do mediation by Mary Kate daily in the morning and at night before going to sleep and did some stretching excercise for 10-15 mins to make myself feel good ( excercising improves ur brain health and makes u feel good all dag long by releasing feeling good hormones ) .... whenever any doubt comes in my head I just say "Fuckkk off! It's done , I'm so freaking happy ( Distraction technique by @remcycl333 ) and sometimes I would open my notes app and script about my void concept
I affirmed and listened to subs as much as I could...and few weeks ago I did the 10k challenge bef starting my routine and I think that also really helped me maybe!
I did this for a week and half ig , for the first three days I affirmed fory sc and then for the rest of the days I affirmed for vc
Ig I Explained too much 💀
HERE'S A SIMPLIFIED VERSION :
Staring from the morning
1. Do Mary Kate's manifesting mediation THIS ONE after that do some stretching exercises if u want ( not necessary tho )
2. Choose one Affirmation of ur liking and Affirm that every hour for 20 mins
3. During the day listen to a void subliminal as much as u can and script in ur notes app if u want
3. Now bef going to sleep vaunt about the void for atleast 30 mins ( I'll recommend to search for a void vaunt and take a ss of that and read that with feeling )
4. Do THIS mediation bef going to bed
5. Put on a void sub and and sleep while Affirming in ur head
6. REPEAT THE SAME FOR 7 DAYS!
AND I ALSO DID SOME EFT TAPPING EXCERCISE IN THE MORNING AFTER WAKING UP BUT I ONLY DID THAT FOR FEW MORNINGS , IF U WANT THEN U CAN ALSO DO THIS ...FOR THAT HAVE A LOOK TO THIS POST BY @asteriaas-stuffs → THIS ONE
Don't acknowledge ur negative thoughts coz they don't hold any power!! And lastly DELETE TUMBLR take a ss of this and save those videos after that just delete it
Don't waste ur time on Tumblr for God sake , watch ur fav movies , listen to ur fav music , go out for a walk , eat ur fav food , do whatever makes u feel happy genuinely for this whole week .
U can consider it as a VOID CHALLENGE
GOOD LUCK LOVIEESSS <33 Do keep me updated about how it goes 💗
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Low-Key Married AU fluff
Kochou said that I was disliked, so I asked her if she disliked me too. For someone so quick to have a smiling response to everything, she struggled to reply. She was the one who proposed marriage and swayed me, so I had thought that meant she had feelings for me. There would be no other way to read it. However, with as unbothered as she is by my absence, I have to wonder.
It’s been ten days since I had last contact with her. I went home to the Butterfly Mansion, but she had just departed for a mission, so I didn’t stay long so as not to trouble the girls. It may still be a few days before I can return again, but it’s always likely she’ll be busy. She’s incredible in that way, taking on all the care of our injured Corp members in addition to her Pillar missions. It must be in her personality to keep adding to what keeps her busy, like taking me in as though I looked like I needed the care. Although the times we’ve spent together have been nice, I don’t require it. My duties call for me to always be ready for battle, and I’ve always kept my heart steady.
So has she. We are Pillars first, and no amount of affection can sway us—whether an abundance or a lack.
I’m not bothered by lacking something I didn’t deserve in the first place.
Last night again, I was too late to prevent a family from being slaughtered. There were no survivors this time, aside from the eldest child who was still ravenous with a recent transformation. Having to chase him down and keep him from harming anyone else kept me off the trail of the progenitor of demons, who had to have been close by. For centuries, he’s evaded us this way over and over, sacrificing entire families to throw us off his trail. If I were to chide myself over every failure, I would have lost the ability to do anything ages ago. Each time, the anger is something I carry with me, to push myself harder the next time, and the next. Any extent more that I can push myself may be the difference to someone’s survival, no one can afford to lose their life over any of my own lost confidence.
“CAW!! TOMIOKA GIYUUUU! NEWS FOR TOMIOKA GIYUUUU!”
Each time it's a crow I think I recognize, my stomach drops. My mind is already playing the words I dread to hear, as though trying to protect my mind once I someday hear them.
"Kochou Shinobu has died."
Even if I hear them, I'm a Pillar first. That was what we promised each other. I'll always do as I must.
The crow says nothing as it delivers a letter.
YES, YES, I KNOW, THIS FANDOM HAS TURNED ME INTO SHIPPER TRASH. For this pairing, it was more specifically my own joke AU which later bit me in the back and made me start really, really enjoying GiyuShino (which, for the record, I do not consider canon). Was throwing ideas back and forth with @reicchel again the other day and so here we are with ship content!
Part of the reason I love the Low-Key Married AU (in which it's mostly canon as usual, except that Shinobu and Giyuu have been married for over a year or so, and it's not a secret but they make such little deal about it that many people don't even know they're married) is that it's a frame through which to see every interaction and either make it really, really funny, or very, very, sad. Everything was supposed to be funny, but it keeps hurting, hahaha... aaahhhh.
For instance, in a regular romcom situation, it should be funny that Kanzaburo doesn't deliver all of Giyuu's letters. Knowing these two, who might had started this whole "well, we'll be a couple when we have time" thing by actively writing regular letters, this could had simply given the impression that the other person wasn't writing as much, so they both naturally decreased frequency to match. It's a little lonely, but neither one is going to push the other for more attention.
No!! I refuse to let this post end with angst! Time for omake!!!
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓. ( 𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐋 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 𝐏𝐓. 𝟏 )
i got a request and i listened to an alarming number of "royalcore" playlists on spot.ify and i tried researching knights and royalty and it just got me confused and stressed out, so historians, pls look away, i'm here for the protective and occasionally pining vibes of "the monarch and their knight" vibes!! DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST!! i have two more royally vibing lists in the works!! and i may edit this list to add more in the future, as i have already done with other meme lists!
FROM THE KNIGHT.
" i was not asked nor ordered to take up this post, my king/queen/liege. i volunteered for the job. "
" i swore an oath to protect your life before any other, including my own, your majesty. it is an oath i am honoured to keep. "
" don't be alarmed, your majesty. i oversaw the preparation of your meal myself, and tasted the wine from a separate glass. it is both safe and delicious. "
" stay in the carriage, sire/ma'am/my liege. a fallen tree blocks our path, and i wish to secure the perimeter before we disembark to remove it. "
" sleep well, your majesty. i shall keep watch outside your chamber door tonight. you will be quite safe, i assure you. "
" your majesty! my apologies... you startled me. i did not expect you to be awake so late. is something wrong? "
" perhaps... perhaps it might be wise for me to teach you the correct ways of using a sword, your majesty? "
" i am marked down for the final jousting tournaments tomorrow. if anything happens, rest assured; i have chosen a most worthy candidate to replace me in my role in the event of my demise. "
" do not fear, my king/queen/liege. i will die before i allow any harm to befall you. and i do not intend to die tonight. "
" please, my liege. take my armour; let me strap you in. now. you must not, under any circumstances, remove this armour until you are safely within the castle walls. stay close. and pull the visor of the helmet down... good. everything will be well. i promise. "
" your majesty, i have come bearing news. i have decided to resign from my post as knight. i will remain until a satisfactorily excellent replacement has been chosen, and then i shall be leaving. "
" you seem unaware of your importance, my liege. your value far exceeds my own. "
" it is a mere scratch, your majesty. a reminder of my inexcusable failure, and the closeness to which this kingdom came to losing you. "
" you may be the first monarch i ever felt proud to protect. "
" your majesty. your majesty, wake up! we must leave, and fast. where is your cloak? the carriage is waiting, we must hurry... "
" make haste! the enemy has breached the gate; and i won't let them harm you, my liege. not while there is air in my lungs. "
" do not fear, your majesty. this is the fastest horse in the stables. you must head for the forest; i'll fend the enemies off until i know you're safely away. "
" your majesty? were you worried for me? "
" i must warn you, my king/queen/liege, these parts are not safe for anyone, let alone a member of royalty. "
" my king/queen/liege, permission to speak freely? "
" trust and ease are things i sacrifice gladly to guard your life well, your majesty. "
" with the greatest respect, you should not go alone. i can accompany you. i assure you, you won't even know that i'm there. "
" knights have a code, your majesty. and to feel the way that i feel for you... it goes against that code. against everything we stand for. in all ways. "
" should this be the last time we meet, my king/queen/liege, please know... you must know, it was my greatest pride and privilege to be your knight. "
" if i may be so bold... i do not think i would much enjoy a royal life. the weight of the crown seems too great a burden. "
" be calm, my king/queen/liege. my finest armor is polished and ready for tonight's festivities. i shall be by your side all night. "
" my king/queen/liege, you look uneasy... has something happened? are you unwell? where is your luncheon? i'll send for the doctor right away... "
FROM THE ROYALS.
" ah! you must be the new knight! do tell, what is your name? "
" i trust your word above all else. you may always offer your consult on these matters. so, please. what is on your mind? "
" i am with you far more than i am with my own betrothed, of late! people shall talk... "
" due to recent tensions between other kingdoms and our own, it has been decided that i will be requiring a personal guard. and i have chosen you. "
" what made you decided to become a knight? "
" i do not need a nanny! least of all when i am merely going to my own chambers! "
" perhaps you could teach me how to wield a sword? one must be able to defend one's self, after all. "
" be easy, brave knight... you took many injuries to protect me last night. i insisted the royal doctor tend to you, rather than your fellow knights. you are quite safe; you're in my personal chambers. "
" i very much envy your freedom as a knight. i imagine you must take it for granted. "
" don't go! you just said it wasn't safe out there! as you are responsible for my personal safety, surely you should stay with me? "
" do not let the fine food and beautiful clothing fool you, knight. a golden cage is still a cage, even with a crown atop it. "
" it is alright. i am merely ill, my knight; there was no poison. "
" i know you better than i know the crowned stranger who decided i was to marry them. how sad is that? "
" i wish to travel to the neighbouring kingdoms. you shall join me, good knight. "
" please, kind knight... do not let me eat alone. my betrothed does that to me already. i do crave some company... "
" my knight... i fear that i have made my most gravest mistake. i have fallen into a trap of my own creation. i have fallen in love with you. "
" you are wounded! sit. sit! as your king/queen/monarch, i command you, sit and let me tend to your wounds! "
" good knight, i do not believe i have ever had the pleasure of seeing you without your armour on... it is a most welcome change. "
" my marriage, it... it is a lie, it is little more than business. i feel nothing for them, my knight, not like what i feel for you! "
" this castle is suffocating... please, may i... may we go to your favorite place? a place you might go to be alone? "
" so many despise the crown. yourself included, i expect. i certainly understand; i feel the same way. so why become a knight who is sworn to defend and protect it? "
" could we just be ordinary townspeople for a day? "
" you presume too much, knight! just because my struggles are not the same as yours, does not render them non-existent! "
" my life is no more important than yours, nor anyone else's. do not think otherwise. "
" you think i would not give my life for you just as easily as you would give yours for mine? "
" it kills me, that as king/queen/monarch, i cannot choose to wed my true love. i cannot choose my knight. i cannot choose you. "
" no! i will not abandon you, my knight, so do not ask it of me again! "
" you seem shocked... surely you did not expect me to abandon the fate of my knight to the hands of chance and the enemy? of course i came back for you. "
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RWBY Ship Parallels #1: Fear & Bravery
There are too many ship parallels to put them all in one meta, so I'll make individual posts as I remember them. The first one I want to tackle is how all the canon or hinted-at-being-canon ships all have pivotal moments where the themes of being afraid and/or having courage come up.
Some elaborations under the cut!
For starters, just for context to refer back to throughout the post, the definition of courage/bravery is as follows:
noun
1. the ability to do something that frightens one.
2. strength in the face of pain or grief.
I was initially going to list these chronologically, but we're going to do it on a ship by ship basis instead. First up:
Renora
The first incident for them happens all the way back in V4 during their backstory flashback. Ren underwent a small arc learning from his father that sometimes the worst action to take is not taking any action at all, even if it's scary. He then tries to support Nora by teaching her this same lesson: that they both need to be brave. She expresses vulnerability about how scared she is, Ren confesses to feeling the same, and together they decide to look after each other from that point on. Which makes everything just a bit less frightening.
We also revisit these same themes in their V8 confession. First we see Nora criticizing Ren for running away just because things got difficult:
And after Ren owns up to this cowardice, the things he did out of fear of failure, the conversation shifts. Nora admonishes herself, and Ren lists things off about her that he admires, the last of which - while not using the word itself - calls to how brave of a person she is and cites it as one of the main reasons why he loves her. Because as the definition above states, being strong and helping people without worrying about how much it might hurt you in turn is what it means to have courage.
WhiteKnight
Their heart-to-heart in V9E9 says it all. Weiss has been carrying the weight of failing to save Atlas since it fell, and after Ruby's actions in the episodes prior, she became aware (a bit too late) of how those same failures were weighing on their leader. So when Jaune acknowledges the harm he caused from trying so desperately not to repeat their past mistakes, Weiss is the perfect person to step up for reassurance.
She knows that their failures do not equate to their worth or all the good they're capable of doing. And reminding Jaune of this, calling him a brave and good person in spite of his failures, is what he needed to hear to be able to reach an acceptance he hadn't been able to achieve in all those years trapped alone in the Ever After.
(Also the framing parallel of BB and WK both holding each other is a very nice touch.)
Bumbleby
With BB it's not just one or two moments. Blake and Yang's characters both centre around the themes of cowardice and bravery since their beginnings and we see it come up throughout the show a lot. Back in V2, Yang sees the bravery in Blake when she herself can only focus on the opposite:
Blake: When you figured out I was a faunus I didn't know what to do, so I ran. when I realized my oldest partner had become a monster, I ran! Even my semblance... I was born with ability to leave behind a shadow of myself. An empty copy that takes the hit while I run away.
In V4 and 5 we see Yang struggling to get back on her feet after losing her arm and the trauma she endured at Beacon. Blake tells Sun that she sees Yang as the "embodiment of strength" and we, the audience, get to see the proof of this every time she keeps fighting despite shaking, and especially when she faces off with Raven in the finale.
These parallel arcs culminate with both of them facing off against Adam together, but most especially gets called back to in their mutual confession scene in V9:
Yang acknowledges what she saw in Blake all those years ago, that she doesn't give up on what matters to her, even when people hurt her, she still fights for what's important. While Blake acknowledges Yang's reliability, her strength, and her courage. And both of them, like Renora, cite these reasons as things they admire, and reasons why they love each other.
Now last, but certainly not least:
Rosegarden
One of the very first things Oscar says to Ozpin when he leaves the farm is that he's scared. This comes back time and time again, especially in the Atlas arc where Oscar spends so much of his time counselling Ironwood against letting his fear control him (a conflict Ruby is also a part of). Our little prince even has a theme song titled Fear to really drive it home.
Whereas Ruby has always been the poster child of "keep moving forward", no matter how much the trauma, stress, pressure, and grief weighs you down. You just have to be strong and keep pressing on, fighting the monster that took her mother away. No matter what.
So, much like BB, there are themes around bravery, fear, and perseverance that apply to both Ruby and Oscar's personal arcs. Both of them especially have focus on being brave despite fears of loss. With Oscar, it is fear of losing himself to the merge; whereas Ruby has a fear of losing those she loves.
All the way back in the infamous Dojo Scene is where we first see these themes addressed in their dynamic. It starts with Oscar expressing vulnerability to Ruby about how afraid he really is.
Ruby initially tries her usual strategy; surface level reassurances about just pushing through it... but it doesn't work on him. So after some upset from Oscar, she ends up being vulnerable with him too. Something she hadn't done with anyone else in show by that point.
Ruby admits that she's afraid too, not just for herself, but for the threat Salem poses to the world as they know it and the people within it. Ruby tells him about those she's lost and says that if it had been her instead, those friends would have kept fighting too.
That vulnerability, which requires courage in and of itself, is what motivates and inspires Oscar to keep moving forward where Ruby's earlier attempt could not. The scene closes off with one more nod to these themes where Ruby pauses at the door and turns back with one final thought:
In both the above scene and the V4 finale, Ruby cites "fighting for those they've lost and those they haven't lost yet" as her main motive to keep fighting. Up until V8/9 she used this as her greatest source of strength, but that strength is a double edged sword which eventually became her greatest weakness when Neo used it against her. First trapping her in a room with all the people she "failed":
And then landing a finishing blow with making her kill lose one of the people she loves most: Oscar.
Ruby can be brave if it means she can protect the people she loves. But just as Penny's death dealt a very big hit to Ruby's hope, what little she had left was crushed at the thought of losing Oscar (and Little) too.
Aside from that, there has also always been an underlying mystery around what having silver eyes means for Ruby. In V4, she is hunted by Tyrian and in V8 she finds out what her fate would have been had he succeeded. A fate which very justifiably terrifies her and seems to be a theme that will carry on into the Vacuo arc. It is also something that was brought up in the second RWBY x JL movie, I talked about this a little bit in this meta, but I'll share it here as well. In the movie, Ruby opens up a bit about this fear saying the following:
“Did you know I lost my mom when I was a kid? I don’t know exactly what happened to her, I don’t really remember her, I just have stories. And I keep trying to live up to those stories, but… I realize they don’t matter anymore. Heroes fall. And I just want to get as much done as I possibly can before I do.”
This scene directly parallels one of Oscar's back in V6:
“I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be… me. But I did some thinking, and I do know that I want to do everything I can to help with whatever time I have left.”
Both of these scenes show their respective courage around fears related to their issues with identity. Oscar saying he will do whatever he can before he loses himself, and Ruby doing whatever she can before she loses her life as all heroes eventually will.
So to summarize: Renora, Whiteknight, Bumbleby, and Rosegarden all have a scene where one or both partners cite the other's bravery as something they admire or love about the other person. All of these ships also include at least one scene - but often more that just weren't listed here - where they open up and are vulnerable with each other about their fears and motivations. And lastly, with BB and RG especially, bravery and fear are central themes to both their relationship dynamics as well as their individual character arcs within those pairings, all of which narratively parallel each other extensively.
CRWBY is very consistent with how it writes its ships and this is only the tip of the iceberg of all the parallels we've seen between these partners so far. But that's all for now; thanks for reading!
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Would I (early 20s nb) be the asshole for "rushing"/taking over the responsibility my partner(early to mid 20s f) took to rehome a cat we adopted together?
🐉🐱 <- so I notice myself
Tw for cat death
I know this sounds terrible just from the title but please read the whole thing. I'm just so emotionally done at this point and it's getting dangerous for us. This is also long lmao and please don't post this to YouTube or TikTok, I don't wanna deal with it, even if I changed names and a few ages.
So I've been living with my partner and her family for almost 3 years. I moved 10 hrs away from my home state to live with her because my parents were abusive. We dated for about 2 years prior to me moving. My partners family are equally abusive just in different ways. My family had some verbal and emotional/mental abuse while her family has constantly threatened physical abuse and lots of mental and verbal abuse.
Either way, I was screwed but I'd rather at least be able to come home to the love of my life instead of only being able to text her. I should mention here that my partner works full time while I'm working to get on disability for mobility issues so I am with our cats every day. I bring a little income with commissions on my crafts but it's not enough to soully sustain us.
When I moved in, my partner had 2 cats, let's call them Salem and Vector. Salem was a 10 yr old male cat and Vector was 2 yr old male cat. About a year after I moved in, in the beginning of 2022, Salem died suddenly from kidney failure and we were devastated. Salem wasn't originally my partner's cat (she'd gotten him from a friend only a year prior to me moving in) but we still loved him deeply. He was the first pet I ever put down and I'll never forget my partner's sobbing. About 2 and ½ months later, we got a kitten, lets call him Arthur, a 3 month old male. We shouldn't have but my partner wanted one, I thought I was ready and Vector was very very lonely and depressed.
I named Arthur and Arthur was feisty from the very beginning but he was sweetish. I told my partner, in a panic late at night a week after getting him; that I wasn't ready for a new kitten, i regretted getting him, we werent bonding, etc etc and she told me to just relax and breathe and give it time so i did. I gave it a full year and a half and... I'm ashamed to say I still don't feel that love connection with him. It started out small; chewing and destroying wires, food aggression (not like he'd bite us if we went near his food, more just got very excited and would painfully climb us to get to our food or any food) and because he was so jumpy, he'd freak out over every sound and rip us up trying to jump off of us.
We got Arthur from a cat colony being watched over by my partner's coworkers however he was born indoors, spent the necessary time with Mom and was handled from day one so he wasn't feral. He'd wouldn't beat us up but anytime he got excited to play or get pet or get wet food or anything we got scarred. His destruction has just gotten worse the older he's gotten, hes very very loud all the time (we like vocal cats but he screams) and he's not affectionate at all. He's not mean but he's just not interested in any cuddling or pets or anything. I don't want a rug I have to feed and clean up shit after.
About 4 months later, we ended up with, let's call her Coral. Coral was another kitten, female this time, when she crawled up in my car. She was feral from the start but she quickly became very loving and cuddly and sweet. She still very much so is. I wanna say, although I never grew a particular fondness for Arthur like my partner has, I've never mistreated, abused or neglected Arthur in any way. I've never yelled at him or treated him differently from our other cats. He got the same cuddles and attention Coral and Vector get, the only difference is that Arthur is crated at night so he doesn't make us lose an eye from some hard zoomies or get into food or dangerous things when we can't watch him. He's out all day and is only crated from 12 pm to 7 am when my partner gets up and let's him out. He's got a bed, food and water, a few toys and a small litter box in his crate so he's covered and he can see us and his siblings the entire night so hes not have separation anxiety.
Now onto the hard part. I'm done with Arthur. Emotional and physically, I don't want Arthur anymore. I'm exhausted from being constantly ripped up and screamed at and having important things destroyed by Arthur the spider cat. No amount of clicker training or treats or sprays of water or redirections can stop him from ripping the room apart(said room is a small apartment, not a normal small room). He gets played with by us all the time and he's got 2 energetic siblings who play with him, we don't know why he acts this way. I could handle Arthur's antics for a bit longer if needed but 2 new issues have made me finally put my foot down about Arthur's further residence with us.
1. Arthur is constantly trying to dominate Coral to the point of hurting her and fur flying fights and scratches. It should be noted that all three cats were neutered/spayed the moment they were of age to do so so it's not a male cat thing. Arthur wants to be higher in the hierarchy but Coral won't take it and thus, some nasty screaming hissy cat fights. Almost very other time they are fine it's just when he gets humpy. There is also a near weekly occurrence of him not reading her " I don't want to play anymore" signals and fights ensue. I'm not gonna stand my cats hurting each other and Arthur is the constant instigator. He tries to fight with Vector too but gets put down immediately, he picks on Coral and not in a playful way. I'm not playing favorites because I love Coral and I'm not connected with Arthur, if Coral was aggressive, we'd take the issue just as seriously but Arthur is the aggressor and Coral is smaller and younger than him so she can't stand up for herself.
2. We need to get out of this house. Her family's abuse is worsening and they constantly joke about hurting our pets and their own pets (the pets have never seen each other, different floors of the house so Arthur's aggression has nothing to do with them). We could barely afford an apartment in the current housing crisis and can barely find ones that allow 1 cat, let alone 2. We have never and probably will never find one that allows 3. All this ignoring the fact we'd lose our deposit instantly from Arthur's destruction.
All in all, Arthur needs to go. I'm noticing myself getting more and more stressed and frustrated and short with a Arthur and he doesn't deserve to live with someone who doesn't love him. Even if he's treated no differently, I'm sure Arthur can tell and even if I feel justified in my lack of love for him, I know he's not trying to hurt us or destroy things maliciously. I'm not nor will ever hurt him but I'm just done with constantly flinching cause he jumped on the bed or dreading letting him out of the cage in the morning because it was so peaceful before then.
I told my partner about 8 months ago (June of 2023) that I was fully done with Arthur and if we ever wanted to leave here, he'd have to go. I told my partner I wanted to start this process in Sept and hopefully have him either rehome or in a no-kill shelter by the end of Oct. I know my partner gets very attached to her animals so that's why I gave her 3 months to process things and a month to rehome him. I was very gentle but stern about this because it would be what's best for him and best for us. My partner agreed but asked if she could do the rehoming and to not talk about it until Sept. I obliged.
Sept, as you can see, has long come and went and now it's Jan of 2024. I've been asking my partner about once a month about the rehoming process and how it's going with mixed results. She made a pet profile on a rehoming site but when I read the description, she didn't really "sell" him well aka mentioned every possible bad thing about him and didn't mention any positives. It felt like she was sabotaging it but I let it be. She showed me a list of 40 no-kill shelters in Dec but she had only checked off 4 of them. She promised me he'd be rehomed by the end of 2023 and he's still here and we are no closer to doing it.
I don't want to wait till the week we move out to rehome him, the stress of the move and changing of the household will be too much stress on us and on Coral and Vector. I don't wanna wait for kitten season to swing back around and we'll never find a place for him. I know it's hard for her but she's breaking a promise for a cat she's admitted herself she's starting to hate. I know rehoming is a process but it's not moving and I feel like my say on his continued residency is being disregarded. I'm not trying to rush my partner but she's broken a promise, it's been 8 months since she could start preparing for this and 5 since she's "started the process" she's dragging her feet intentionally.
So, my idea is that I'll take over the process. I'll offer to help and find the places and get things in order so we can get one less stressor in our lives and Arthur can live in a home with the attention and patience he deserves. I wanna ask her if she wants my help but I don't want her to feel rushed to do it and get upset with me for doing what she promised she would.
I feel like she's waiting for me to just give up and give in and let him stay but she's not the one who has to deal with him all day every day and we don't make enough to find a bougie apartment to take in 3 cats. He'd need to be rehomed even if we got attached because we can't take them all. So, would I be the asshole for taking over the rehoming process for a cat me and my partner no longer like because my partner is intentionally dragging her feet on it or am I justified?
(to note, my partner brought up the possibility that Arthur has a mental illness/possibly be inbred due to the cat colony situation or that we could get him professional training. The issue is we live in a very rural area without a lot of money, 1. We would not be able to afford any mental illness controlling medicine for the long term when we can barely afford our own meds and 2. Classes to train animals are very expensive and the places that could train Arthur are at least a 3 hour drive away. Its not feasible for us, especially when I don't have a license/might not be able to drive on my own due to my disability. If he was properly sheltered, they could get him that help/training or his new owners could afford to but we can't. We can't put him in a kill shelter for moralistic reasons either.)
What are these acronyms?
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Do you have any tips or tricks on how to start a comic like this? Or even just how you got started?? I've had my own au for years that I so badly wanna put out into the world but I've been struggling with finding a good way to start it!!!!
Hm!! Ok!! This is a tough question with many different answers even just from me. I'll do my best to answer tho!! 😮
The main bit of advice I want to give, and which I think is vital to anyone creating anything:
☆ Know yourself.
When looking up advice for creating, people love to tell you that by doing things a specific way is the best and only way to go. Often advice of this sort has solid points, you should plan ahead, you should have easy character designs, buut... You don't have to.
I do not work well with outlines or scripts. I dislike sketching. You'd think that'd make being a long form comic artist impossible for me, but nope.
I know theres things I cannot do, so I've put all my practise to what I can do. My lineart style allows me to almost skip sketching completely, my scripts are more of an A to B structure than law. I improv 90% of the time when making pages. It's kinda like dnd with myself.
I would absolutely not reccomend what I'm doing to others, but I know it works for me. People can tell me I'm doing it wrong but its either wrong or no comic at all, SO. Suck it. 👍
Er. Rambling now.
My point is, figure out what you can and cant do, and do your best to give yourself the ideal work enviorment and process.
☆ Deal with being overwhelmed
Making just a few panels and suddenly realising its gonna take years to get anywhere is SO demoralising. It's gonna happen and its gonna happen again, and again, and—
But continuing with the earlier advice, you gotta ask yourself what would help you. Are you willing to sacrifice quality? Do you just need a break? Maybe you're like me and like to include smth you love in every update so you'll have something to get excited about making.
That feeling of overwhelm is trying to tell you something, so figure out what that is so it wont end the project for you.
☆ Start it
You wont like what you make when starting. I've never heard of an artist who has.
I'm not saying start this instant, not everyone is as into improv and flailing around as me. But I will say you'll never feel ready. Figure out the minimun of what you need to start and do it. Show friends first if youre afraid to post.
Also where to start? Well sure there's lots of good advice online about that, but you can also just doodle random stuff until you feel like diving deeper. That's what LV started with, just Twi and Wild hanging out with animals and some headcanons. It may not be the most tightly written work but theres beauty in the humanity of a mess.
☆ Extras
A "failed project" or "forgotten WIP" is only a failure if you let yourself feel that way. Yea it can be a hauntingly strong feeling thats hard to deal with... But it can be beaten. WIPS are proof you tried and not everyone can say they have.
Lv is far from done and I have no intention of dropping it, but because the journey has been so nice I'd satisfied even if I had to call it here. Its smth that helps me with the overwhelm... What I've made is beautiful even now.
Comparing yourself to others is gonna rip your heart out. I love that theres other links meet aus out there and hope the best for those artists but I caNNot follow any of them or I'll crumble to dust.
So Uhm.
Basically. Have fun and be yourself. 👍
Ps. Readability is basically the most important thing for a comic artist to pay attention to, that and not destroying yourself with details and rendering. 🙌 Good luck out there!
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Game Roundup 2023 - Part 1
So I made it a mission to read through the games I've gotten in various bundles in the past. And it's uh... an undertaking.
But! I've read a lot of cool games and encountered a lot of new concepts.
For reasons (namely that I have a few thousand games) I am not going to mention every game in these posts, just ones that caught my attention for one reason or another. And in keeping with my reflection on ratings earlier this year, I'm going to refrain from critiquing the stuff I mention here - I may say "this one isn't one I'd personally play" or "there was some unpolished stuff in here", but I'm going to focus mainly on the positives and why the game grabbed me.
So, here we go!
Blades in the Dark by John Harper
Yeah, yeah, I know, this game is talked about a lot! But consider me a recent student of TTRPG history outside of d20 systems. I got the chance to play this game for several sessions and read the rulebook cover to cover. The stuff that works, really works. The stuff that doesn't? Bogs the whole thing down. But I find clocks to be such an intuitive mechanic, and downtimes is really a delight to me. There's a whole ton of Forged in the Dark stuff that toggles a bunch of the game's switches on and off to make things more streamlined. Was very glad to read this one.
Lumen by Spencer Campbell (GilaRPGs)
I made it a mission to read SRDs this year. I want to understand the how and why of the games I've been reading: why are they built the way they are, what is accomplished in building them this way, and can I build games this way myself? Spencer has a really solid handle on what he wants his games to do. They're power fantasies with little if any chance for failure. It's not about whether you do the thing, it's about how. I ended up having the chance to meet Spencer at GenCon, and I'm really excited to see Lumen 2.0, which is going to be completely diceless. Power fantasy games aren't my thing typically, but I really appreciate the intentionality of this system's design.
Are My Wings Even? by Sadia Bies
What a lovely, simple game that lets you play dress-up! This one isn't necessarily as polished as some of the others but you can tell it was designed with so much care and personal meaning. I love a tactile game. I love dressing up. This one has so much potential to be really tender. It won't be for everyone and that's okay, but I really adore it.
Sprouts by Julie-Anne "Jam" Munoz
This game came to me in a bundle for Trans Rights in FL, but I actually dug into it when I was looking for RPGs to play with kids. You draw your character on a post-it, and it's just a silly little guy! It has a pretty simple roll mechanic and advises a "get from point A to point B" adventure style, which takes place in actual 3D space in your home, because didn't you know? Sprouts live in your home, like dust bunnies! It's got really great language for children and emphasizes cooperation, and that you can't mess up your drawing - sprouts are sprouts.
The Wildsea by Felix Isaacs
I know, I know, I talk about this game too much! But really, it's been the gateway into other games for me. I think technically I probably read this last year, but I had to brush up for GenCon this year, so I'm counting it. Lots of folks have compared the tracks in this game to Blades' clocks, but they sprang up parallel, funnily enough! It has some definitely shared DNA in its design, and it rewards you for things out of combat more than things in combat, if that's how you want to play. The setting is lovely, the community is lovely, and really it was a joy to read, even as long as it is.
I'll do another of these soon, I imagine.
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Establishing Locklyle 💙🖤⚔👻
Whilst the books may not have ramped things up between our dashing heroes until Book 3, Complete Fiction hit the ground running. It's clear from the opening scenes of Lockwood and Co that these are our canon couple.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. What I really want to do with this post is look in detail at how well the opening scenes of this series are put together, especially in the context of Locklyle. Warning, it's a long one, but there's just so much to unpack.
The show opens with a mysterious couple walking. We see their kit well before we see their faces. But it’s the dialogue between them that provides the real hook. It's intelligent and immediately starts to build the world we are entering.
In these opening moments of the series, those of us new to the world of Lockwood and Co don’t quite follow the context of the exchange, yet in the hands of these two it doesn’t matter. The dialogue is clever, natural and, importantly, has just the right amount of snark.
Lockwood's response of "No need to be facetious" indicates that he is not cowed by Lucy's criticism and her later response, with accompanying knowing grin, of 'Thought you said there was no time to be facetious', hints at an already established mutual understanding and connection. But I'll come back to this in a moment.
When they meet Mrs Hope, Lockwood immediately slips into business mode, reassuring her of their capability. She looks uncertain but it's the first hint we get of Lockwood's charm and confidence, such a large part of his literary character throughout the book series.
Lucy, however, is not so diplomatic and immediately says adults are useless anyway. Lockwood, ever conscious of impressing the client, gives Lucy a look causing her to clarify what she means.
This was a change from the book where it is Lockwood who is dismissive of adults and Lucy soothes it over with explanation. However, Complete Fiction have made a clever change here. Having Lucy deliver the line is much more consistent with their characters, reflecting Lockwood's charm and Lucy's more acerbic edge. In fact much of this interaction with Mrs Hope is reversed from the books and I think it works better to establish the characters of Lucy and Lockwood.
With Mrs Hope's departure, we move inside the home and get our first understanding of their skills. We see Lucy and Lockwood as they tune into the house and see Lucy's point of view as she vividly experiences Mr Hope's death.
I love this scene. The ease as Lockwood laughs and leans against the wall. Lucy's feistiness as she challenges him with justification for her reaction. His response? He offers tea. The first reference to what we will come to know as a staple of their world.
The warmth of the kitchen offsets the ghostly greenish glow of the rest of the house. It's a very cosy, warm and domestic scene. It works to establish a sense of the calm before the storm.
As they discuss the backstory of the haunting, I adore Lockwood's question "Sarcastic or ironic?" and Lucy's response of "The cleverer one" is perfect 👌 One more example of the easy banter between them.
From here we move back upstairs to find ourselves a ghost 👻
The world building in these opening scenes is considerable. It's hard to believe it all happens in the space of 8 minutes.
I spoke earlier about how they seem to have a connection already. In the books Lucy has been with the company for around 6 months but, in Complete Fiction's universe she is only new to the company.
Which means that she, like us, is a bit unsure about Lockwood's ability. He is clearly charming and the leader but Lucy's criticism about trying to make contact with the living coming on top of his failure to pack the chains, means we're not quite sure and then we're left with Lucy dangling over a deadly drop and the opening credits roll.
It must be said that Complete Fiction have put this opening episode together so well. We don't get to see what happens with Lucy for another half hour and I admit by then, I'd almost forgotten our beginning.
We delve into Lucy's backstory which I won't go into detail over here, that's a separate post altogether. We do however get to see the development of the connection that Lucy and Lockwood clearly have and it's evident from when they first lay eyes on each other that there is a mutual connection.
There's so much to pull apart here: George's disdain, Lucy's rising feistiness as a direct consequence and Lockwood overseeing it all. The delight with which Lockwood shows her 35 Portland Row, Lucy's obvious pleasure at finding somewhere to stay, a place that could be home.
But it's the growing connection between Lucy and Lockwood that is clear. So much so that by the time of the final exchange between them in the library, Lucy is comfortable enough with Lockwood to call him out over his overstating of the standing of "Lockwood & Co". I love Lockwood's calm explanation that it was a mild exaggeration and that lots of people make them, much like she did when she exaggerated her rapier prowess ⚔
It's reflective of Lucy's inner resolve that once she realises Lockwood is not concerned by her omission, she challenges him by asking: "How do I know you're good enough for me?"
Cue the perfect segue back to her dangling over the stairwell precipice.
Now it's Lockwood's turn to shine and turns out, yes, yes he is good enough for her 🖤💙
After fighting the ghost off, with some pretty impressive moves to be honest, Lockwood grasps Lucy from falling and here, here is the moment where Locklyle is canon.
Yes I know he's just saved her from certain death, but the way they cling to each other🤗😍💙🖤
Let's just take a moment to savour this scene 😍
Sigh 😍🤗
Now, where were we?
Lockwood is so shaken by the events that he is ready to retreat, it's Lucy that wants to push on. Ironically, it's her that is reckless at this point. The desire to understand the ghost's pain drives her on and provides an early indicator of a major plot point for upcoming episodes and indeed seasons (🙏🙏Manifesting like crazy 💙🖤🧡)
The rest of the episode unfolds at pace. They find the body, Lucy grabs herself a souvenir and saves Lockwood from Ghost lock. It's just unfortunate that it results in the ultimate destruction of the house.
But our canon couple are locked in. There's no going back from here, they just go deeper and deeper.
And we willingly go along for the ride 🤗💙🖤
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