#but thats just me.. A person who has been mistreated by peers because of wrongful conceptions they had of me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vampyrly · 3 years

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: / i need any help and/or validation for a situation im dealing with

ok heads up this is going to be potentially very long to read and get through, like possibly 10 minutes at most but it is detailed and information heavy, i dont want to leave anything out

if anyone knows me/knows me on twitter and has seen my tweets where i've detailed the bullshit my roommate has done in the past you'll know i dont particularly like their presence based on their immature and gross antics. well ladies and gentlemen just when i thought they couldn't possibly sink any lower as a person, they pulled through the shit olympics and won gold.

my roommate has a cat, they had it prior to moving in and on their account the cat has been by their side 24/7. it is very attached and has most definitely developed a form of separation anxiety because of this. there hasnt been an issue with how often they stay with their cat up until recently... their girlfriend got her own apartment and over the past few months my rm has been staying with her 24/7. as in, is practically never in the apartment. they only come back to refill their cats food/water and is immediately out the door again. occasionally they will sleep overnight but after that they are back out the door.

as anyone who understands cats or animals in general would realize, this is essentially neglecting a cat, one you have gone from being with every day, to essentially never seeing. and this was not gradual, it was a damn near sudden change. you can probably imagine this is putting a lot of confusion and stress on the cat. over time, the cat has reacted more physically. they have become prone to crying by the door, biting the gf's toes, glaring at her (i guess), and such.

now, about a week ago, the cat had bitten my roommate incredibly hard to the point of drawing a lot of blood. apparently this was so traumatic to the rm that they now refuse to even be in the same room with the cat (there have only been a handful of times where they've slipped into the room to grab an essential and shimmy back out) so much so that they brought an air mattress, set it up in the living room, and is now temporarily sleeping there. no, im not joking.

now im not going to go into detail about why this buildup from the cat occurred, i think it should be pretty obvious already why, but to my rm, they fully believe this behavior is aggressive and unusual. as in, this cat had malicious, negative intent to do harm on its owner. its owner which, up until months ago, they were so attached to and clearly loved. as a friend has pointed out, this isnt signaling aggression. this is signaling a need to get attention in any way possible. their own cat had scratched them up so bad to the point they almost had to go to the ER, but it wasnt because the cat was aggressive, it just thought it was playtime! the case is different here yes, because unlike my rm the friend actually takes care and gives attention to their cat, so this was a very rare occurrence. simply put, this cat is lacking so much stimulation, attention, and basic interaction that this, to me, felt like a last resort. because clearly, the constant cries of sadness wasnt doing anything for them. they're currently in the process of rehoming the cat and will permanently ditch it on the 28th. thats still another 5 fucking days of this cat being in these neglected conditions, and thats not counting when this started, which was 17th, 18th if were being generous on account of me misremembering the date of events because who can blame me so much has already happened its becoming difficult to keep track.

a cat that they up until this point loved and gave attention to as apparent by them claiming she is for emotional support, is being thrown out of their life without remorse over one instance of """aggression""" (dont make me explain why it wasnt again.)

my roommate knows full and well that they have every ability and every second on their hands to bring the cat with them to the gf's apartment but guess what? they simply choose not to do so! i guess those toes getting bitten was so traumatic because oh yeah may i add, the girlfriend is a massive enabler of the roommate and sees absolutely no issue to the actions they are taking in response. i doubt they even tried to properly warm the cat up to a person who is a newcomer to the relationship. im sure they both think in their heads that this is the most responsible thing they can do as pet owners and that they're such good people for rehoming a cat they cant take care of anymore. yes, nothing more responsible than neglecting an animal that needs social interaction as much as that one in particular is in dire need of. responsible pet owners would have never let it escalate to such a point, i'll have you know.

my roommate has done a lot of bullshit that has made me want to pull my hair out, but at the very least, it didnt involve a living creature. this however draws a line as i refuse to stand for animal neglect simply because im an outsider and have no direct say in the situation. i've taken as much action as i possibly can, phoning and texting and emailing as many people as i possibly can. i hesitate to say this is straight up animal abuse because as firm as i can be i try to give people the benefit of the doubt BUT. i will say that every single person i have relayed all of this info to thus far has told me that this is grounds for animal abuse.

yesterday i ran into my rm and they told me "heyyy sorry about her crying constantly, its just not possible for me to be in there whatsoever!" and when i asked if they have someone refilling the bowls and litter on their behalf they said "nope just me" ????????? simultaneously on the same day i said fuck it, i am going to break out the secret key i have to their room to check on the cat. yes i have a key to their room, i have never used it until now and if you want to ignore everything thus far to give me some shit about trust or whatever consider: i dont fucking care. as it turns out the food and water bowls are the type that automatically refill. so, hmmm. theres that part out of the way, but of course, you cannot put in a machine to automatically interact with a cat on the level of a human. as for the litter, i couldnt see since i didnt step more than a foot into the room as to not impede boundaries on the cat and i didnt want my roommate to suddenly come home to me knees deep in their shithole. it was probably in the closet but then how is that being cleaned? those automatic cleaning cat litter boxes dont come cheap and i know damn well they cannot afford one. and may i just add as a tidbit, the room has a sitting scent of pee. though seeing as how gross my roommate can get im betting its just them and not the cat. also that room was cold as fuck. were at 60-70s right now in terms of weather right now it does not need to be that cold......

here is a video i was able to capture. i mounted my phone on a monopod in order to get a scope of the room without stepping in too far.

i decided that the least i can do at the moment is to head out to dollar tree and get a toy or two so i can at least provide some amount of stimulation. before i left, i checked on her again.

she was just laying there, keeping her distance, and didnt lurch at me whatsoever. i came back with a feather wand and played with her for a couple of minutes. she responded a little to it, but for the most part she was peering out the door wondering where the hell her so called responsible owner was. i took my sweater off and let the cat sniff it. i have zero relationship with this cat, infact its the first time i've ever properly seen it as it is locked in the bedroom 24/7.

now you may be asking yourself, why is this cat locked away in a room 24/7 like rapunzel locked in her tower and not roaming freely in the open apartment? i too would like an answer to this! i rarely spend any time in the living room but even if i did i have NO issue with it chilling in there.

someone i phoned did bring up a good point that for AS to consider a legitimate case of abuse or even do anything, there'd need to be no food or water. so essentially, unless you're straight up physically harming an animal outside of their headquarters they dont fucking care. want to be proven further on that? my rm actually did speak with AS at the start of bite-saga. surprisingly they werent 100% truthful, and, get a load of this, they told them that the cat potentially has a virus, and that they need to be quarantined the entire 2 week period. thats some lying bullshit if i've ever heard some!!! not only that, just a few hours ago i peeped the girlfriend had the vet get back to them about lending a muzzle!

SO. heres the current situation as of today and what will occur to tomorrow: i finally phoned someone who is going to drop by the apartment tomorrow, potentially with another person (these are not random people, im simply keeping their status as anonymous as possible to maintain their privacy) to check on the cats conditions. they'll also call AS again and nudge the rm in a way where it seems AS needs them to expedite the surrendering process sooner than later. i cant imagine another 5 days of this going on, but theres only so much that can be done that doesnt involve me straight up catknapping the poor thing and rehoming her myself. this is the condition of the cat as of a few hours ago:

if i were someone uninvolved and saw this, i would have assumed she were a stray that broke into the room........

i try not to be petty and villainous, but a line has been crossed and the disgusting mistreatment of an innocent creature is a crime i refuse to allow be sweeped under the rug. if theres any benefit to living in a relatively small town, its that everyone knows or at least recognizes everyone. far too many people already get away with animal abuse, at the very least i can make as many people here as aware of their antics as i can. is that wrong to do? should i not air all that i can out about them? im so tired and exhausted. i've lost so much sleep over this and im probably going to lose a lot more. thanks for reading.

#cw animal abuse #animal cruelty #pet health

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feynites · 6 years

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How would you fix snapes story? Cause we all know thats a mess, if this has already been asked sorry. (Also you should have a side blog called watch me fix this mess, where you take books that have major problems and give your opinon on what could be done to make it better, thats more of my opinion then statement though).

Ahh, thank you! I’m so pleased you think that I can do a decent job of addressing some problems in stories! I definitely make plenty myself, so it’s born of personal experience I guess. I’ll consider the side blog, though my ability to organize those has not proven to be great, in all honesty.

But, to the question!

The thing about Snape’s story is that there are a number of issues, and a lot of them are subjective, and who has problems with what creative decision or aspect of his writing is going to change depending on who you ask. So it’s difficult to get a coherent ‘solution’, because for a lot of people, the ‘problem’ is not the same thing.

Like, some people will point out that the revelation that he was working against Voldemort doesn’t really address the fact that he’s still a petty asshole who bullies children. Others will argue that this is called ‘being a complex character’ and there’s nothing wrong with it - and they’re right, but they’re also kind of ignoring that the narrative, through Harry, implies that Snape’s actions totally did change the context of his behaviour. And so the frustration people have is that they disagree with the way the story is framing him.

Also, his status as a hero is contentious because he was never, at any point, actually being selfless. From start to finish, everything Snape did was driven by personal interest. Even his desire for atonement and revenge never exended into any kind of ‘big picture’ perception of the world, or increased sense of value for things outside of his own feelings. A lot of people define heroism by a certain amount of selfessness, and by that definition, Snape soundly fails to meet it. Just because he was willing to die doesn’t mean he was acting altruistically.

And then there’s the fact that Snape, like the goblins, is basically an antisemitic archetype. He’s petty, greedy, grasping, hook-nosed, sallow-skinned, dark-haired and ‘ugly’, and these are all canonically confirmed character flaws. He’s also treacherous, even though his betrayal of Voldemort was a good kind of treacherous. Fiction, however, has a long-established history of letting the bad guys’ infighting be their undoing, without actually salvaging the characters involved (like, Starscream and Megatron are always at odds in Transformers, but they’re rarely portrayed as not still both being bad guys).

So changing Harry Potter’s narrative to play Snape as just another villain - complicated villain, sure, but still not viewed as having really redeemed himself - wouldn’t address that he plays into a character type with some very uncomfortable origins. Actually redeeming him, on the other hand, would also run the risk of glossing over his more blatantly cruel acts as a teacher (like his treatment of Neville and Hermione), and wouldn’t satisfy people who wanted to see that really acknowledged.

For myself, I... well. A lot of stories teach kids that the adults they think are mean or scary, or who they see being cruel to their peers or to themselves, might have important reasons for their behaviour that you won’t understand until you’re older. The message, often, is that reporting people like this or getting angry with them is a mistake, and that it’s better to be quiet and just do what they say. Harry Potter is guilty of this kind of messaging with Snape. Dumbledore is always telling Harry that he trusts Snape’s loyalty, and the stories often disprove Harry’s theories that Snape is behind some scheme or evil act, to the point where it’s basically a recurring theme. Suspecting Snape of conspiring against students is wrong. Reporting Snape won’t work. Lashing back as Snape’s misuses of power only makes things worse.

The intended narrative is usually something like ‘snap judgments are bad’ or ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’, but that only works if a character’s objectionable traits are purely superficial. Snape, though, really is misusing his authority as a teacher left, right, and center.

The thing is, though, that kids who grow up in abusive environments (and some adults too) often end up with this fantasy where, if you’re nice enough and forgiving enough of someone’s cruelty, they will heal, and their capacity to love will mean that they stop lashing out, and instead become a great and loyal protector. Because the lesson is all too often ‘you can’t do anything except be nice to them and hope it helps’, and so the dream is ‘a story where it actually DOES help and everything turns out alright in the end’.

I think this lies at the heart of a lot of Snape’s fanon narratives and reinterpretations. Because the stories emphasize that he isn’t going to leave, and he can’t be totally avoided, and so the hopeful, optimistic idea is that he can change, or can reveal to have been motivated by outside forces with regards to his cruelty, and that once those forces are gone, he’ll be a great person to spend time around. That it’s just a matter of time and then there’s going to be a reward for all this energy spent in putting up with an insulting, petty, unfair, mean-spirited and spitefully vindictive man.

Which is a narrative that abusers really really like too, because it encourages people to prioritize forgiving and loving them over holding them accountable to standards of decent behavior.

And that is my own personal biggest problem with his story, and biggest potential dilemma with approaching it. I wouldn’t want to shame or deride people who entertain the hope of being rewarded for kindness and patience and faith in people’s better natures. Harry Potter is ultimately aimed at kids, and kids are often faced with adults who mistreat them, who they can’t escape.The Dursleys won’t change and that’s obvious to most readers. But it’s easy to zero-in on Snape as the character who could. To invest in him all that desire to see the Dream Come True, and watch an adult who was bad become good and caring and actually look after Harry. To think, maybe he’s doing it in secret? And lo, he is! And he’s a hero after all, and he died to help Harry, so maybe all the mean nasty adults who degrade and insult me are going to turn it around in the end, too!

But that’s not Snape’s story, unfortunately. He never really does turn it around.

And if he did turn it around, it would have to be because he decided to and put in the work to do that. It would probably have to happen earlier on in the books, and it would take away the mystery of ‘who’s side is Snape really on?’

So... to be honest, I’m not entirely sure what I would change about him. There are a lot of options, but ultimately, I think shifting around any number of things would mitigate the problems he presents. It’s just a question of which ones anybody wants to tackle.

The simplest fix, to solve the most overall problems would probably be to remove Lily as his motivation, though. Ultimately, if Snape had chosen to turn on Voldemort because of his own principles and standards, then his complexity as a character would actually remain at a level far more consistent with Harry’s conclusions about him. Even if everything else was the same. He’d at least have the virtue of facing down a Dark Lord and protecting a kid he hated for the sake of something decent in him. As it stands, having Lily’s death motivate him just means he’s bitterly blaming everyone else for the difficulties he’s having at half-assedly assuaging the tremendous loads of guilt he brought on himself. It also means that he has an intensely personal reason to want to screw over Voldemort, which on the one hand makes sense, but on the other hand, also means we never see him do any unquestionably noble deed. So there’s not a lot to balance against his unquestionably ignoble deeds - which are pretty damn replete.

It wouldn’t fix everything and it especially wouldn’t satisfy everyone, but I think it would leave more room to agree to disagree on various interpretation of his character.

#Anonymous

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