#but the culture of having to be out and nonpassing and having to deal with how often traumatising that is

[cliveguy]

could write something real on this but i think both the inaccessibility of hormones and the required 2 years of "lived experience" before physical transition creates such a different culture amongst trans ppl in the uk.... unless you're rich enough to go private or incredibly lucky it's inevitable that the wait for physical transition is going to be very difficult, no matter what your level of dysphoria is

#um.txt #trans #like i love all trans people and am trying not to feel that bitterness i felt as a kid bc its not productive #but the culture of having to be out and nonpassing and having to deal with how often traumatising that is #when the way i would've wanted to come out is the way that happens in america where u immediately physically transition after #bc thats the safest way i think. #and tbh. waiting so long for top has fucked me up mentally after like its smth i hate to complain about and i feel bad #complaining about anything to do w the recovery at all bc i shd be happy #but waiting 5+ years with horrific dysphoria for a surgery that takes 3 hours and a few weeks of recovery has been like kind of #painful to wrap my head around lol. like. idk i feel so normal now and its hard not to look back on how bad its been for the past #few years and think about how much i lost bc of having 0 confidence before passing #like if id started hormones just after coming out its easy to see how different my life would be #also edit cos i know someones gonna get mad but ik america also has accessibility issues #especially money-wise #but i think ppl arent aware of how bad it is here like. terfs run these clinics. #nhs gender clinics are such a horrible experience that i was shocked by how i was treated at the hospital that did my top surgery #bc i wasnt used to like. not being judged and interrogated on my identity lol. the surgeon was like oh do u want a masc chest? #bc i also do more neutral ones for non-binary ppl :) #like damn ok. bare minimum but didnt expect that