#but the fact that she still pushes against that

[hedgehog-moss]

In my neverending quest to keep Pampérigouste from achieving her dreams, I have launched a formal investigation into her last escape, which I had no explanations for at the time.

I figured it out! At the far far end of her pasture, near the road, a few fence posts have become more or less horizontal (the ground is quite wet / muddy there so they've never been very stable, especially with Pirlouit using them to scratch his forehead)—so instead of a high jump + long jump combo to get to the road, Pampe just had to clear the long jump over the ditch. Which is still impressive.

I also suspect that she chose to escape from this place near the road on a snowy morning as a deliberate strategy, knowing the snow plough would erase any traces of her jump, thus preventing me from discovering where the weak spot in the fence was. Well done.

You need 2 people to fix these fence posts so in the meantime I decided to kill two birds with one stone: cut all the broom and thorny bushes in this corner of the pasture and use them to form a discouraging barrier. I set to work earlier this week, and here's the same place as above, mid-process:

When I texted my mum to tell her about my new thorn-based anti-Pampe plan of action, she said "Like the Maasai who make fences with thorny acacia branches to keep out lions!" and it made me feel even more confident. I mean, I have neither acacia nor Maasai fencing techniques but my thorny shrubs are pretty aggressive, they pricked my fingers even through my thick work gloves—which felt satisfying in an anticipatory way. Excellent! prick Pampe's nose exactly like this. How could a llama not be deterred by a fence material that deters apex predators?

Vexingly enough, she seemed quite supportive of my efforts. At one point she breathed some warm air against my shoulder in a gentle, patronising way.

We were engaged in psychological warfare all afternoon—every time I stepped away from my vegetal fence, feeling like it was now good enough, Pampe would immediately come to inspect it, cheerful and impatient, which sapped my confidence so I would go and add a few more shrubs. (Note that I sort of plaited the first / biggest shrubs with the pre-existing fence so they don't go flying on the road, and so Pampe can't just push them aside.)

On the right: Poldine, looking for little fresh leaves to eat amidst the chaos. On the left: Pampérigouste, thinking.

(At this point the barrier was only 20% thorns, and 80% broom—the fact that she waded through it without a care and didn't prick her belly made me go and add more thorny shrubs, and pack them more densely)

It's kind of fun watching Pampe think, honestly. Can I jump over this? Do I have enough visibility? Can I eat my way to freedom (again)? But these shrubs are disgusting. Am I above exploiting my daughter's lack of culinary discernment to achieve my goals? Maybe I should go back to my calculations re: probability of wild boar destruction. I may have pincushions for hands after handling prickly bushes for two hours but I'm helping stimulate my llama's intellect and creativity and that's so important.

I tried to alternate broom and thorny branches so that the non-thorny broom became tangled up with thorns and brambles to form an impenetrable and incomprehensible wall. I will call it this method the salmagundi-fence.

Poldine is in awe of my vegetal installation.

Can I just say, compared to Pampérigouste who constantly has a devilish glint in her eye, Pampelune's face exudes wholesome politeness and moral goodness. It's still hard to believe they're mother and daughter.

I went home once my fence started looking like Maleficent's forest of thorns and Pampe had long stopped trying to wade through it, but I still felt antsy and ended up coming back one hour later to have my apéritif with the llamas so I could keep an eye on Pampe until nightfall.

... where is Pampe?

Oh. Here. No worries!

Still staring at the road. Still thinking.

...

With all that said, please admire my beautifully delirious Forest of Thorns-fence and let me know what you think.

#crawling along #llama drama #(i am not sponsored by kindle i just had it balanced on my knee) #in the photo where pampe is patronisingly praising my efforts you can see a remnant of the police tape from the jungle fence saga! #i should remove it. She was not intimidated by police tape for very long #if ever at all #anyway i've started planting a few interesting shrubs along the road to form a living fence but it's a very slow process #i'm ages away from reaching this part of the pasture

[caitlinbueckers]

told you so.

kate martin x reader

2.9k

woooooh this is a fucking doozy guys. literally received one (1) anon and then i blacked out for an hour and a half soooo here’s this ! realized during this journey that kate martin means an unfathomable amount to me and it’s like . Actually concerning 🔥🔥

ANYWAYS it’s giving Kate martin’s controversially hidden girlfriend that goes lowk public at the wnba draft like SHUT UP

18+ AS FUCK

“babe, quit looking at me like that.”

if there’s one thing you know, above the fact that you were certain there was gonna be an unsuspected draft tonight, was that kate martin could be such a bitch in the morning.

not that this was new for you, in any sense— you’d been more than used to it since the dawn of your relationship, learning all the little things about her that made her tick. whether that was her favorite to least favorite foods, or teams, even her obsession with fucking hot sauce.

you knew she still slept with her childhood blankie, the one currently curled under her chin atop the hotel comforter because she’s ridiculous, and because nobody has ever and would ever disrespect her blankie game.

and above all, you knew how much she wasn’t a morning person.

“you’re so dramatic,” you snort, pushing yourself up onto your elbows with a tired, but mocking voice as she emits a slow groan, turning to shove her face into the pillow, her body curling away from yours in an act of indignance that only makes you laugh.

you were far too used to her acting like a baby, so the action only made you sit up on your knees, slinging a leg over her so you could straddle her sides, leaning down to pepper kisses against the side of her face as she lets out a string of groans that turn into halfhearted chuckles, until her hands are planted firmly against your thighs, bare due to the oversized IOWA shirt that she insisted on you wearing.

‘for good luck,’ you remembered her snickering, something you knew was really just ‘easy access’.

her voice is still hoarse from sleep, quiet and raspy and tinged with that midwestern accent that you’ll never give up on bullying her for, when she whispers, “dude, you’re so annoying.”

of course, she proves it by hoisting you off of her, onto the bed, simulating something like a WWE smackdown moment as she rolls over onto you, mumbling something that you really can’t decipher due to her face in your neck, your chest, basically every place she knows will pull that hysterical, annoyingly high pitched laugh out of you, that for some reason, she loves.

“can’t believe you made it here.” she murmurs quietly against your cheek, lips moving lazily against the skin before she lays a smacking kiss there, and it’s almost gross, how much saliva she uses, but you snicker anyway, hand coming up to stroke through her blonde strands.

in all honesty, you couldn’t really believe it either. it had been soemthing close to hell trying to get it all straightened out, from clothes to hotels, to transportation and getting from des moines to brooklyn, not to mention just how fucking exclusive it had been to even get a seat open with all the hype surrounding women’s college basketball, the posterity that the final four teams had brought to the sport— not to mention, the fact that you and kate weren’t public in the fucking slightest, so having to account for that definitely sucked.

of course, it was a huge accomplishment, one that would definitely go down in the history of sports in general, so of course it was a huge fucking honor that your girlfriend was apart of it—

but also, you just thought it was hot.

in fact, the thought makes you smirk to yourself, corners of your mouth curling upwards in a self righteous grin as you turned your head, bumping noses with her to whisper, “can’t wait to see you all dressed up, baby,” she snickers at that, and you kiss her lips once, twice, three times before continuing, “and, i can’t wait to see where you get drafted so i can buy myself a plane ticket.”

the subsequent groan you receive is expected, but it doesn’t deter you even slightly, “and to watch you play on a professional fucking team, like, kate, i’m basically wet thinking about it right now.”

that makes her laugh out loud, and it warms you just a bit to hear it.

it’s not like kate has been super confident about it recently, usually choosing to not speak or avoid talking about how bad she wants it— especially considering the night being mainly for caitlin, an old teammate of yours from school and one of kate’s best friends on the squad, and arguably, one of the best players in the league (next to kate, of course).

still, it didn’t change your focus, or the unyielding hope you had for the possibility of kate getting drafted— no matter how late in the draft it could be.

“babe, quit selling yourself short, okay? you’re a legend. it would be literally, fucking stupid to pass you up, okay?” she doesn’t respond at first, her eyes closed and lashes brushing her cheeks, before she flutters them open just a crack, blue peeking through as you offer her a grin, one that she only rolls her eyes to, but kisses you regardless. you knew how much she hated to talk about it, but it didn’t matter.

you knew you were right, anyway.

“mmmiloveyou.” it comes out in one smushed whisper against your mouth, before you nip at her bottom lip, hand sneaking under the sports bra she wore to bed to brush your thumb across her ribcage, “get off of me and get ready, okay?”

—

caitlin was top draft pick, which was heavily speculated and yet still unexpected to a degree as you stood from your seat with a cacophony of shouts and hollers from around you, pride swelling thick in your chest. you’d known the girl since you two had been in middle school— seeing the same tall little girl that had hated losing in an elementary school gym turn into such an infamous champion was something alike to a parent watching their kid go off to college or something, you’d swear it.

but, to say it was nothing short of nervewracking would somehow be an understatement, and as much as you felt the impending pressure with each name called, you could only imagine how kate must’ve felt.

it wasn’t hard to tell— the way her molars steadily worked the inside of her cheek, the way her tongue would dart out to wet her lips again and again. her hand, jittering too much to be held stationary within your own, drumming along your bare thigh beside your dress— ‘self soothing’, she’d explained in a whisper, a halfhearted, almost weakened smile on her face when you’d given her a lifted eyebrow at the hand placement considering the amount of cameras that surrounded you, but somehow, despite the rush of adrenaline, decided you didn’t care either.

thankfully, you both weren’t anywhere too accessible, but it still made you wonder whether kate had been bullshitting just how anxious she actually had been the whole time for her to need your touch so badly, and for an aching moment of tenderness as you glance at her, you want to kiss her, hard, rub the tension between her eyebrows, relax the trouble in her eyes.

still, gabbie and jada were good eyes too, considering anytime the camera would so much as even pan past you two, jada would hit you with a solid elbow, one to remind you that your poker face was shit, and perhaps you’d have to try just a little harder to pretend you weren’t totally, irrevocably in love with the woman beside you.

but slowly, it was all starting to click into place.

the cameras began panning to kate more and more, your own eyes flickering to the set and noticing how everytime you’d look, there’d be an official looking right past you, right at kate. a surge of excitement rose within you, one that had the words bubbling from your mouth in an urgent whisper,

“baby, i think—“

until an official, dressed in black with a wireless pair of headphones in each ear and a smile, touched kate’s shoulder.

“ms. martin, we’re gonna go ahead and have you and your party move down the aisle just a bit— there’s been a slight seating issue, if that’s okay with you guys?”

jada elbows you extra hard this time, and for some reason it solidifies that feeling you get, one that makes your heart leap as you all nod, getting to your feet without argument, only as kate turns to give you a look that’s supposed to be scolding, but fuck, you can see the glimmer of hope in it that makes your chest constrict, your eyes burn in pride.

“you’re giving me eyes, and for what?” she hums, the teeth against her cheek working overtime as you all settle into the new seats, kate at the end of the aisle, and a fluttery feeling in your chest, “no reason.” you say it almost smugly, as if you know something she doesn’t, and you don’t, but god, you can feel it.

the names fly off, left and right, number 16, and kate’s knee starts bouncing slightly, number 17 and your heart feels like it’s going way too fucking fast, number 18, and jada peers around you to glance at kate, and then…

las vegas, aces— kate martin.

if watching caitlin win had felt like a parent watching their child, this must’ve been adjacent to winning the fucking lottery.

you’re on your feet in mere seconds, the tears that had built finally dripping down your cheeks, a fact you’d only come to find embarrassing once you realize how visible they are on the playback, but fuck it, your girl was going pro.

she wastes no time in wrapping you up, her face ducking into your shoulder as your arms twine around her middle, thinking subconsciously of how you know you shouldn’t risk it, but kate doesn’t seem to mind, only releasing you with a single arm to embrace jada, and then gabbie, before she’s back to you.

of course, it doesn’t occur to you in the moment, that it’s a hard launch— no, it doesn’t really sink in until she kisses you hard against the temple before she’s breezing down the aisle, the subsequent eruption in applause leaving you starstruck, in silent awe.

after that, it’s somewhat of a blur— she takes her picture and accepts her jersey, the newscasters going off on some spiel about your girlfriends work ethic, her attitude, her endurance, everything you already fucking knew, had known for so long, that she’d finally have a chance to prove.

the moment she’s back beside you, it also doesn’t register to you that she must’ve been just as accepting about the reveal, because it’s only a second that she’s in her seat before she plants a soft kiss to your mouth, the dark lipstick you’d been steadily biting off in anxiety sticking to hers and she’s grinning, bigger than she had all day, and for a moment, you think you might actually collapse because god,

you love her. so fucking much.

“told you so,” you make out between the tears, smiling through the tightness in your voice that makes you sound warbled, whimpering even as she just laughs at you, her thumb careful to wipe beneath your eyes, “guess you did.”

of course, it’s only customary that after such a good night, everyone must get fucked up— so, that’s exactly what happens.

you get to gush to caitlin— hugging her tight around the neck and congratulating her a million times, to which she reciprocates when it comes to you and kate, garnering a blush on your already alcohol flushed cheeks, rolling your eyes as you punch her arm.

“whatever, fever.”

“whatever, ‘ace’.”

you pretend you don’t notice the quotations she puts around it, and give her a friendly middle finger instead— if kate was an ace, that meant you basically were too, at least by proxy.

“hey money,” you call to kate affectionately, seeing only the back of her head as she talks to gabbie, your arms sliding around her waist to hold her tight from behind.

“my love,” she greets with a smile, looking over her shoulder to pucker her lips at you, expecting a kiss that you so easily return. it feels fucking terrifying, in all honesty, to be so open, but you can’t find it within you to care enough to give it up— not when she’s this happy.

“dude, you totally knew, didn’t you? there’s no way you would’ve started crying like that unless you knew.” she’s drunk, chattering at a volume level beyond what’s needed considering you were right behind her, hand sneaking beneath her blazer, but you can’t help the way you shrug, “i’m always right, huh?”

later that night, she shows you just how right you are.

it’s past a decent hour to still be tugging off clothes from the night prior— the clock read four in the morning, but the windows spoke of the twinkling lights that surrounded, the city not quite awake, but never asleep.

“you’re a pro,” you hum against her mouth as you tug off her blazer, hands making quick work of the belt that kept you from exploring, smirking at the look she gives you, daring and all too fucking sexy, “it’s so hot to think about.”

“yeah?” her fingers hook beneath the straps of the dress until she’s dragging them down your shoulders, “you want me to show you how professionals do it?”

the next thing you know she’s between your legs, nothing but a white top and her slacks on, unbuttoned, as she hikes a leg over her shoulder, kisses along the inside of your thigh with an intensity only comparable to how she is after a really good game.

“fuck—!” it leaves your mouth in a sound that’s almost unrecognizable, the realization that you’d been pleasantly and uncomfortably horny ever since the draft had ended making itself known considering just how much kate had been unrelenting during press— hands on your hips or on the inside of your thigh, toying with the hair on the back of your neck or grasping the inside of your elbow to lead you along.

she knew it drove you crazy, you knew she’d make it up to you later.

her mouth makes easy work on you, tongue long and flat as she laps against your cunt, rough in all the ways that she knew you could handle— thumbs pressing fingerprint bruises into your skin, breath hot and heavy against your clit, hips moving on their own accord as you gasp out a string of incoherent whimpers. “shit, baby- just… just like that.”

it wasn’t like kate had ever failed at getting you off, but tonight, she performed as if it was her last game, greedy almost as she drinks you in, making sure to not leave one bit of you unchecked. her tongue is almost sinful in the way it makes your voice careen, high and whining, your hand finding a permanent tangle into her already mussed hair.

but she’s cocky tonight, presumptuous right before you orgasm as she raises her head to kiss your thigh, biting the skin before she’s climbing onto the bed beside you, too tall to be graceful, but you’re too fucking horny to even spare her the laughs you usually give.

“up, c’mere.” she’s breathless still, but she doesn’t let you rest for even a second, leaning across you to curl her fingers around your thigh to tug you up from your laying position, rousing you from the hazy, almost delirious state of mind as you push yourself up, letting out a shaking breath when she’s sliding your leg over her chest, hands grazing up the back of your thighs until she’s pulling you, right over over her mouth.

“kate, wha- you’re so— fuck.”

any semblance of words or sense seem to leave you in one second, as she flattens her tongue against the wetness that’s collected, the friction almost unbearable when her head tilted upwards, nose brushing hard against your clit in a way that pulls a cry from your lips. she’s unfaltering, diligent, unabashed in the way she’s moving your hips, the way she pairs each grind against her nose with a curl of her tongue, and really, it’s over before it fucking starts.

her mouth is glossy, damp when she’s done, and she smiles and it’s arrogant as she’s sliding you back down to sit you against her hips, the mere control she had of your body making you bright red as you pant pathetically, reduced to fucking nothing by her mouth.

it makes you throw your head back with a whimpering sigh, “don’t fucking look at me like that.” you complain, legs still open, thighs still trembling as she races her hands along them, “tired already?”

funnily enough, you were far from fucking tired.

“actually… was thinking about showing you some celebrity treatment?” you muse softly, as she peels off her own top, eyebrows raising, her thumb swiping along the edge of her lip before she’s placing it on the bottom of yours, pressing until it dips into your mouth, the heady taste of what you knew was yourself finding a place on your tongue.

she smirks, tongue poking between her teeth as your stomach fucking turns almost, arousal prickling unforgivingly at you once again.

“ooh,” she muses under her breath, eyes laser focused on the thumb she’d placed between your lips, voice coming out in a whisper, “i like the sound of that.”

she’s smirking though, because sex between you two have never been anything completely serious— that’s just not how kate operates, “ace money martin’s got a ring to it, huh?”

“shut up.”

“make me.”

so, you do.

#kate martin x reader #kate martin smut #kate martin #writing asf #be gentle i lowk like this one…..

[barcaatthemoon]

lonely nights || leila ouahabi x reader ||

you let leila back in again for a night.

leila's hands knocked quickly and quietly against your front door. if it wasn't for her texting you earlier, she wouldn't have even thought to come over. you hadn't answered her, but she could see that you read each of her messages. that meant you had to be awake, which also meant that leila had a chance of seeing you.

she hadn't considered that someone else might have come over. not until a man opened up the door instead of you. you were still living here, trapped by your lease. a flare of jealousy shot through leila before she remembered the fact that you didn't date men.

"who are you?" leila asked, extremely accusatory. this man was bigger than her, but she was now prepared to fight for you. she had made the mistake of not doing so before, and it resulted in a broken team and two shattered hearts.

"ian," he answered curtly. his voice was gruff, complimenting his rugged look. leila didn't recognize him, so she doubted that he was a soccer player. however, it was obvious that he was an athlete.

"ian, who is it?" you asked as you stepped into leila's view. for a moment, ian was blocking her from you, but once you saw her, you let out a little squeak. "what are you doing here?"

"i saw that you were up. i miss you, please let me come in," leila pleaded with you. ian glanced between the two of you, ready to push leila away at the first sign of a fight. you had called him over to stop you from letting her back in, something that nobody else had succeeded in yet. "please, mi vida."

"leila, we can't keep doing this. both of us have to move on. don't you have alanna?" leila shook her head at this as she stepped forward. ian did step in, pushing her back a bit. "it's not what you think. she does not want me, um, kept?"

"i thought you wanted casual again leila, you told me that you missed it," you reminded her. leila's head fell as she slumped against your doorframe. "it's starting to feel a lot like you're trying to rope me into casual."

"no, no! i want you to keep me." leila had never been so quick to tears. "i want you to keep me and never let me go. please don't make me go, i want to stay."

"fine," you sighed. you turned towards ian, who seemed to understand his part now. he left, locking up your apartment behind him as you guided leila inside. unlike the times before, she pulled you into a tight embrace instead of going straight for the kiss.

"thank you," leila mumbled against your skin. she repeated herself again and again until you kissed her. it did the trick in keeping her quiet. the groveling made you a little uncomfortable, like she was trying to convince you of something despite already being let inside.

leila let you keep control of the kiss as the two of you moved through your apartment. for a moment, you believed that she really was just there to see you again. leila cuddled up next to you in bed, which was when you felt her fingers begin to drift a little bit. it was subtle at first, but then you couldn't ignore the way they dipped beneath the elastic band on your underwear.

"leila, what is this? what are you doing? can't you stay for one night without fucking me?" you asked her. leila shifted so that she was hovering over your body. the redness from her eyes was gone, replaced by the darkened look of lust. you sighed, knowing that you had been played again.

"i can't just lay here with your body pressed against me and behave myself, mi amor. you don't have to do anything, i just want to feel your skin beneath my fingers. i want to taste you on my tongue, please." leila pouted as she stared down at you. you hated how easily leila managed to break down your walls. "please."

you sighed as you grabbed leila's face, pulling her down for a kiss. neither one of you tried to move slowly, leila's hips pushing forward to grind against you. your mouth fell open as you let out a small gasp. leila slipped her tongue past your parted lips, hungrily lapping at the inside of your mouth so that she could taste some part of you on her tongue.

leila ignored the whine that escaped from your lips as she pulled away from you. you felt her hand push your head to the side, opening up your neck for her to pick a spot. leila always went to the same place, the little ticklish spot right above your shoulder. your united teammates always knew whenever you and leila had gotten together because there was always a mark on that patch of skin.

"i love the sounds you make," leila complimented you. you felt your body heat up along with your cheeks from the attention. she knew exactly how to work you up with praise and some less than subtle touches.

you didn't miss the way that her thumbs brushed over your nipples through your shirt. leila knew that you didn't ever really wear much to bed, so she made quick work of pushing you to take off your clothes. she'd let her fingers tease you until you were tugging everything off on your own. it was infuriating sometimes, but leila had her reasons.

"leila, please. please, i need you. i need you to touch me, fuck me," you begged her. leila's focus was momentarily broken as she stared off in your direction. it had been a long time since she had heard you beg, things usually progressed quicker than this. still, leila acted quickly as she pushed herself away from your chest to lay in between your legs.

"what do you want from me, hmm? do you want my fingers?" leila grazed her fingers over your cunt. you watched closely as she dropped her head down and spread your lips with her tongue. "or my mouth?"

"fuck, i don't know. can i have both?" your head felt so clouded already. leila smirked as she nodded her head, dropping a kiss to the inside of your thigh before she spread you open with her fingers. leila licked her lips as she took you in, making you feel absolutely filthy in a way that you didn't completely mind.

leila started with her fingers, teasing you until you were literally dripping. your chest was heaving with each breath that you tried to suck in. leila moved her hands up onto your stomach, arms pinning down your hips as she finally placed her mouth on your cunt.

you could feel the vibrations from her moans as she tasted you. leila was a very dramatic lover, something that you had come to love during your time spent together. it was like literally everything that you did gave her pleasure in some way, shape, or form. she could go an entire night without being touched, but have spent half the night moaning like she was cumming.

"leila, i want you to hold me," you told her. she lifted her head, obviously a little taken aback by your request. leila knew exactly what you wanted. she hadn't offered it since the breakup, nor had you asked for it.

leila was a bit sheepish, but she lifted herself up and laid next to you. she hooked her leg around one of yours, keeping your thighs spread as her fingers made their way in between your legs. this time, her thumb moved to rub over your clit gently as she pushed one of her fingers inside of you.

"d-do you want me to kiss you?" leila asked hesitantly. you forced the frown from your face as you shook your head. you didn't like how she was suddenly hesitant about being in your bed the moment that you asked her for something a little different. leila had never had a problem kissing you while she got to fuck you before, and you wondered for a moment if maybe she was having feelings.

you didn't have a chance to ask her as another one of her fingers entered you. leila seemed to be pushing you harder now, trying to get you to cum. leila kept her focus on what her hand was doing, completely ignoring the way that you clutched at her other hand to ground yourself.

"scream my fucking name. i want to hear it," leila whispered dangerously in your ear. your body was already shaking, and if it wasn't for her leg hooked around yours, your thighs would be squeezed shut around her hand. leila kept her fingers going as she tried to coax her name out of you.

"stop, please," you pleaded with her. leila withdrew instantly, not wanting to cross a line with you physically. she had always been afraid of that with you, claiming that she was leagues ahead of you in strength. you had indulged her in agreeing that she was stronger, but you didn't agree with how much.

"i'm sorry," leila apologized as she stared at you. she was at a loss about helping you. there had once been a time whenever she had known exactly what you needed, but leila had forced herself to forget everything. it was supposed to help her get over you quicker, but leila kept finding herself back at your place when hers felt too lonely. "i have to go."

"no, you don't," you told her. it was too late though, and leila seemingly disappeared into the night on you once again. "i just want you to stay."

#woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso smut #leila ouahabi imagine #leila ouahabi x reader #leila ouahabi smut

[withahappyrefrain]

YESS the “she can take it” SO HOT..like yeah Jake is being kinda dominate..fucking you..but Bob is just barking orders, pushing around, just being IN CHARGE like..owning the whole room, taking up space, just DOMINANT

"She's not made out of glass y'know," Bob chuckles, his shadow looming over you and Jake.

Jake lets out a frustrated grunt, greatly missing the days where Bob wouldn't talk to him unless he said something stupid.

Bob on the other hand, was getting immense joy from this hands on lesson you and he were providing Jake with.

When it came to sex, the Floyd's were not the first thing that came to Jake's mind. But after walking in on you two in the Hard Deck's bathroom, the pilot was intrigued.

He also realized that despite his years of experience, he still had a lot to learn.

The latest thrust from Jake pulls a whine from your lips. His cock feels great, but it's not quite reaching the spot that makes you see stars. At least, not yet.

You give the blonde an encouraging smile, "Bob's right. You can be rougher if you want."

Your husband leaned over, just three of his long fingers easily able to grasp your chin, forcing you to look up at him.

"Going by what he wants is exactly why our little friend is in this situation," Bob said through gritted teeth. Jake held back a comment on height upon recalling that Bob was in fact taller than him by several inches.

Vertical and horizontal.

"Now sweetie, tell Jake, what is it that you want?"

You looked into Jake's sea green eyes, "I want you to make me come. Without touching my clit."

Jake opened his mouth, ready to scoff at such a thing being possible. But then he recalled you and Bob in the bathroom, you sat on the counter while Bob thrust into you. He had made you come with just his cock, something Jake had yet to master.

"Can you.....help me?" Jake's voice was all but a whisper. You nodded, sending a knowing smile to Bob.

"Push her knees up to her chest, she'll feel your cock way better," Bob ordered.

"That's comfortable?" Jake asked.

Bob simply nodded, "She can take it. Plus it makes her feel dirty, which she loves. Isn't that right darlin'?"

Warmth flooded your face at Bob's nickname for you. Your husband tapped his long fingers against your mouth. Immediately, your lips parted, moaning upon feeling the digits on your tongue.

The sight makes Jake's cock twitch. Two weeks ago, he would have confidently said he was dominant in the bedroom.

Now?

He wasn't so sure. He still liked being in charge. But Bob was different. The quiet backseater had a way of commanding in the bedroom and Jake would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous.

A sharp slap against his thighs broke Jake out of his thoughts.

"Can you listen? Or do you need me to show you how she likes to be fucked? Again?"

Jake holds back a sarcastic comment. His ass is still healing from Bob's last punishment.

And he really needs to come.

So he hoists your legs up, pushing your knees to your chest. The new angle causes you to throw back your head now that you could feel Jake's cock even deeper.

"Fuck, r-right there!"

Bob smirks, "Told ya."

Jake mutters something indignant.

"What was that?" Bob's breath is hot on the shell of Jake's ear. The searing pain from his hair being pulled on went straight to his cock.

"Kiss his neck Bobby, he loves that," you giggled from underneath.

"If she's able to talk you're not fucking her hard enough. Go ahead Jake, fuck my wife."

Jake regretted every "baby on board" joke he had ever made.

#my writing #jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman fic #jake hangman x you #jake hangman x reader #jake seresin x you #bob floyd x reader #bob floyd x you #bob floyd x y/n #hangman x reader #hangman x you

[hubbvrd]

Crush | Joe Burrow

In which Joe asks you how to know if you're in love with someone

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

The fresh smell of coffee and sweet pastries hit Joe's nose as he pushed open the woodsy door of his favorite coffee shop.

He quickly slipped into the air-conditioned interior and took a quick but searching look around.

His gaze stopped at his regular table, where he did not discover the person he had hoped for.

For at his regular place sat a mother with her little son, who could not have been more than two years old.

The little boy was sitting in a high chair eating his cake while his mother sat next to him, proudly watching her son as he clumsily shoved his fork into his mouth.

"Excuse me young man, may I?" , an older voice snapped Joe out of his daydreams, bringing Joe back to the here and now.

"Yes, please?" Joe asked kindly as he looked to the older lady who was balancing several coffee mugs on her hand while holding a large café bag in the other.

"Could you maybe..." , she began the sentence, but Joe knew directly what she wanted from him and opened the door for the elderly lady, who thanked the quarterback.

"Do you want me to take something from them and accompany them?" , he asked her politely as he followed her a step outside, but the elderly lady shook her head.

"Oh, thank you very much, but my car is right over there."

Awkwardly, the older lady tried to balance the coffee mugs, which were in a designated position, as she began to rummage in her bag - possibly looking for her car keys.

Without thinking twice, Joe took a step towards the elderly lady to take the coffee mugs from her, so that the lady could look for her keys in peace.

She gave him a quick look of thanks before digging her key out of her pocket and holding it up in the air.

"Found it," she said with a smile, taking the coffee mugs back. "Your girlfriend must be very lucky to have such an attentive man in her life."

Joe raised one eyebrow in confusion, while his gaze continued to rest calmly on the old woman, who put the coffee mugs, which had slipped slightly, back down neatly.

"In fact, there is no one at my side" , Joe said.

"Oh, but then your future girlfriend will have it especially good with you."

The older lady patted Joe's hand briefly as she thanked him again and headed across the street to her car.

If she ever becomes my girlfriend, Joe thought to himself as he turned and made his way back inside the café.

—

"Can I get you anything yet, Joe?" Maxime, the waitress, asked him after he had sat down on one of the tables at the end of the café, where he hopefully remained undiscovered as much as possible.

But he was not too worried about that right now, because it was just early noon and therefore the rush in the café was not too big, so he had to fear that he would not be able to get out of taking pictures and signing autographs.

Because there were actually often one or the other day, on which it remained impossible for him to remain unrecognized.

"Uhm" , he said, pausing as he considered whether he should really order already.

After all, there was still nothing to be seen of y/n far and wide. Probably one of her university classes went on a bit longer again or she was delayed by one of her lecturers.

"I'll wait", he said after a short consideration, because he decided to order only when y/n would be with him.

For he knew how much she hated cold tea. In fact, y/n preferred tea, which Joe could not understand.

After all, how could anyone perk up without coffee?

"Alright. Just let me know if you want to order." , she let him know before turning away and then beginning to attend to other guests.

Joe sat back and reached for his cell phone, which he had placed next to him on the table, to see if y/n might have texted him that she was running late.

But nothing.

Briefly, the quarterback considered calling her. But he decided against it, because he knew that y/n had always kept her appointments and if something had come up, she had canceled.

While Joe waited, he glanced through the large window, which revealed a view of the adjacent park, where all the blooming flowers and shrubs could be seen up to here, bathing the park in a beautiful colorful blob.

Shortly after, his cell phone rang, causing him to wince in shock before he answered without looking to see who was calling him.

"Burrow?"

"Hello my favorite quarterback! I hope you're not waiting too long for me at the coffee shop. I've been delayed by my annoying lecturer! I just got out of college..." , y/n began and Joe listened to her get upset with her lecturer, which made Joe smile.

"Oh man, I think this calls for a large coffee and a raspberry muffin now?" , Joe asked, knowing he had hit the mark.

"Yeah, did you order already?"

Joe heard y/n cross the street as the traffic noise suddenly doubled.

"No not yet, I was going to wait for you. Do you want me to order takeout and meet you there? I think after this stressful college day you could use some fresh air" , as Joe spoke he had gotten up and walked over to the counter, in front of which he joined the small line.

"How do you always know exactly what I need right now?" , he heard y/n sigh contentedly at the other end.

"Um, I guess I'm a good best friend and listener?"

"Okay, okay, okay. Now don't praise yourself too much. I'll see you at the bench in the park in five minutes!"

Before Joe could say anything else back, y/n had already hung up and Joe looked at his lock screen for a few seconds, which showed himself as the background, before it was his turn to order.

—

Searching, Joe looked around again while holding the two mugs in one hand and a small bag containing a raspberry and a blueberry muffin in the other.

Unlike the café, the park was quite crowded, so he let his gaze wander more slowly through the surroundings in order to be able to discover y/n.

Around him, a few people were walking their dogs, and on the small playground that was a bit away from him, a kindergarten group was playing, which seemed to be on an outing.

But he couldn't spot y/n among all the people, so he let out a light sigh and kept his eyes on the path.

With quick steps y/n entered the park and dodged the one or other dog, which romped across the path without a leash.

Her eyes searched the park for Joe, whom she spotted shortly after, standing with his back to her.

She was quite sorry that Joe had been waiting in vain at the café for the last few minutes.

But even though she couldn't help it, since her lecturer, who had gone through the homework assignments with her, had held her up, she felt guilty.

And that's why she hurried to get to her best friend, which is why she almost ran over to him and then snuck the last few feet towards him and covered his eyes.

Joe flinched in fright as it suddenly went dark in front of his eyes and he felt cold hands on his eyes.

But he relaxed immediately as he caught the all-too-familiar scent he had smelled countless times before and given away himself.

"Y/n!" , he said directly and within seconds his hands were removed from his eyes.

"How did you know?" , y/n asked sulkily as Joe turned to face her.

"I smelled your perfume. Maybe next time you should wear something more inconspicuous."

Joe handed y/n her coffee mug, which contained her favorite tea, from which y/n took a big gulp and sighed with pleasure.

This was exactly what she had brought now.

"Hm..." , she murmured as she pressed the still lukewarm cup against her palm and then dropped onto the bench behind her.

"You're unfair, Burrow..." , she mumbled as she reached into the bag and then bit into the raspberry muffin.

"What did I do now?" , Joe asked, eyebrows raised in confusion as he also reached for his muffin and bit into it as well.

"Oh, nothing."

The muffins were still warm, just the way the two liked it best, which is why they hurried to eat the muffins as quickly as possible.

"How was your day?" , she asked Joe and he began to tell her about the elderly lady at the café.

Attentively y/n listened to him while she kept breaking off a piece of the muffin and then shoving it into her mouth.

"And then she said: but then your future girlfriend will have it especially good with you". , Joe finished his narrative, eliciting a giggle from y/n.

"How sweet" , she said, dragging out the word 'sweet' impossibly, causing Joe to roll his eyes.

"But while we're at it, how are things with the women?" , y/n inquired as she wiped the crumbs off her pants and then sat down cross-legged, looking curiously at her best friend.

In doing so, however, she concealed from Joe the fact that she was incredibly fond of the quarterback. If 'fond' wasn't a bit of an understatement, she had actually fallen a little in love with Joe.

But she would never tell him that openly, because she didn't have a good feeling about it.

After all, the two of them were friends and that could or would ever become more, could not happen.

Because that's exactly what the two had sworn to each other a few years ago, so that in the end, in the worst case scenario, their friendship wouldn't break up exactly because of that.

"Uh..." Joe began the sentence, but left it hanging in the air, unfinished.

Joe thought about how he could best get around this answer. But he might not have had a chance with y/n to avoid this question so easily.

Because y/n was a person who didn't make it too easy for other people to simply dodge questions, which is why Joe decided on a counter question.

"How do I know if I have a crush on someone?"

Joe slowly sat back as he buried his trembling fingers in the pocket of his hoodie, swallowed briefly, and then looked everywhere but at y/n.

He tried to ignore his heart, which slowly began to snake faster against his ribs, as best he could.

Stay cool, Burrow, he told himself quietly in his mind, trying to relax a little.

But the fact that y/n next to him remained silent didn't ensure that he succeeded in doing so right now.

So he loosened his gaze from the point he had fixed until just now and looked over at y/n.

Y/n thought for a few seconds about Joe's question and how she could best answer him.

"Well, you can't stop thinking about them, you feel strange when they're around and you want to -" Y/n broke off the sentence when she noticed that Joe was looking at her strangely. Almost staring at her strangely.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" The question slipped quietly from her lips as Joe had come dangerously close to her, so she could hear her heart hammering almost continuously against her ribs, and she suddenly felt quite warm.

"Because...Because I have a crush on you..."

#joe burrow x you #joe burrow x y/n #joe burrow fic #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow imagines #joe burrow #nfl imagines #nfl fic #nfl #nfl imagine #cincinnati bengals

[ccswife]

Oh no.

-----------------------------------------------

part 2: donk

pairing ๛: kate martin x iowau!reader

synopsis ๛: kate catches you watching your saved edits of her.

not proofread again pls dont eat me! enjoy!!

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oh how rainy it was in iowa city today. you lay in bed staring out the window, curtains pushed open indicating that kate had already gotten up. stretching your limbs and yawing you sit upright in bed, listening to see if kate was in the kitchen. but you didnt have to listen, you could smell the signature eggs and waffles she makes for you during your 'sleepovers'.

not wanting to get up yet, you sit against the headboard and check your phone. the time reads 7:56am. slowly you scroll through insta, snapchat, reply to some imessages, and finally..... tiktok. and the very first thing that pops up on your for you page is an edit of kate.

"are you fucking serious?" the words drip out of your mouth in annoyence as you remember the fiasco from the prior night. your eyebrows crinkle just thinking about what kate said, and how you guys interacted after the fact. but who were you kidding? the whole edit will be watched, and because it was a goooooddd one, to the favorites it went. of course you felt a little guilty favoriting it. it was to a beyonce song— you couldn't remember the name, and it most definitely isn't released because if it was... damn it'd be #1 for years. the song was very catchy, and the lyrics made you giggle while you thought of kate.

sliding out of bed, you make your way to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth- maybe run a brush through your hair? yeah no, definitely run a brush through it. finishing up in the bathroom, kate calls from the kitchen.

"y/n!!! the waffles and eggs are ready!" her voice ecos through the apartment.

"im coming!" you yell back, half jogging into the kitchen, as the aroma was absolutely delightful. kate always made such good breakfasts. as you get there, she turns and pushes a plate to your spot, inquiring you.

"you hungry? because i made a lot, i mightve used all your eggs" her beautiful blue eyes make contact with yours, and she smiles. "thats not even a question just sit, cutie" the last part coming out quickly.

----now playing 'donk' by beyonce----

you slowly sit down, slightly flushed and pull the syrup over to drown your waffles. taking the first bite you watch her frame move side to side, obviously looking for something.

"i bought you more hot sauce, its in the left cabinet on the bottom shelf" you say, mouth full of waffle and pointing with your fork. kate gasps to herself and pulls the bottle of chalupa hot sauce out of the cabinet, turning around and beaming at you. it was very obvious she was happy.

"for me ??? you shouldn't have!!" she plops down in her seat next to you and gets busy (eating ofc). the two of you silently eat, an occasional sniff or thud of the counter from the utensils. you think back to the song from the edit you saw earlier, the tune getting stuck in your head.

"i think i wanna go back to school, and have my locker full of pictures of you~" the words flow out of your mouth, not thinking if kate knew the song or not.

she whips her head in your direction, eyebrows pushed together.

"what? are you serious?"

before realizing she is genuinely confused you keep singing, dancing around in your seat, hips moving.

"so give me that A in biology, im graduatin' soon~"

kates still looking at you confused, as you continue you close your eyes and move your fingers, pointing at kate and pushing her shoulder. of course you skip parts in the song, and mess up the lyrics since you'd only listened to it this morning.

"dont, get on get on, get on get on, uh huh~"

kate continues to push her eyebrows further together— if thats even possible, eventually reaching her hand out to grab your arm. you stop and look at her straight on.

"what? whats wrong? do you not like that song?" you chrip out, nervous that shes mad, or something.

"song? thats a song? are you sure?" kate says. "that didn't sound like a song. are you just saying that?"

now its your turn to push your eyebrows together. your mouth twists and you answer her honestly.

"why would i just be saying that? i heard it on tiktok before i got out of bed and its suck in my head. i was actually gonna add it to our playlist," you drop your hand down, but she keeps her grip tight on it. her face relaxes a bit. "but i wont if you dont like it"

kate smiles a little and opens up her mouth to answer, but closes it and shuts her eyes. "i thought— well nevermind. i like it, you can add it if you want, plum"

again your face goes red. plum? she hasnt called you that since sophomore year. the year you decided to never tell her how you actually felt. kates been usuing nicknames way more often, but this one especially caught you off gaurd. "ok then, i will" a sweet smile creeps onto your face.

kates grip on your arm loosens, and she pulls her hand away. slowly though, making sure you guys are touching for as long as possible. you both giggle like schoolgirls at the action.

the day goes on pretty regularly after that. practice, lift, some classes, etc. you get home and hop into the shower, taking a decent amount of time, deeming it reasonable because of the hard day you had. the clock hits 6 and you decide to cook some dinner and wind down on the couch. aimlessly scrolling on tiktok (again? bad reader...smh), you come across a live stream. kates teammate kennise was on with jada, caitlin, and kate. they all seemed to be in caitlins apartment. you locked your eyes on kate, and occasionally looked down to see the comments. and wow, were people going crazy. asking about if they have girlfriends, what game they are most excited for, if they think theyll win the championship this year etc. one specific question popped up a couple of times tho.

'DO YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THE EDITS?'

'KATE HAVE YOU SEEN THE EDITS!!??'

'do you think they know guys???? omg'

oh no. you prayed to god that kate didn't see the comments. and if she did? you wished for mercy on your soul for what would come out of her beautiful mouth. and then it happened..

kate read one of the comments aloud.

"do i know about the edits?" she rephrased. "yea i do. a girl i know has a whole folder of edits and i accidentally saw it," she stratches her head and smirks, side eyeing caitlin who shoves kates shoulder.

"they are cool tho, i appreciate you guys supporting us."

you stared at your phone in disbelief. a girl i know? A GIRL I KNOW? as if! as if you dont spend every waking moment together? as if you dont look at eachother a little longer than you should? and that you are way too touchy to just be really close friends?!! its not that you want her to call you her girlfriend or anything (yes you do girl cmon) , but acknowledging that youre her best friend wouldve been a litte better. the fans would understand that. they know you! they see you in the lives and tiktoks! hell youre all over their instagrams! and they know you guys are incredibly close, so it would make sense if you saved them to make fun of her or to do something silly.

you turned the live off and stared at the black tv screen for a couple minutes. the past two days have made you think about your feelings for kate more deeply than you ever have before. and about hers for you. a text buzz comes from your lap, and you read the contact name.

bear🐻

you will never guess what someone just asked on live!!

you stare at the text, not wanting to reply. a simple "what?" is all you answer. getting up, you turn all the lights off and make your way into bed. ignoring whatever kate sent back, you decide its best to distance yourself from her, in lieu of accidentally telling her how you feel, or potentially just ruining the whole friendship.

gosh tomorrow is going to be hard.

as you fall into a deep sleep, your phone buzzes consistently with a specific rhythm, indicating kate is calling. but you ignore it, sticking by your decision. although part of you knew it was petty to be mad at what she said, your stubbornness stopped you from getting over yourself and communicating how you felt about it to her. maybe youll feel better when you wake up. maybe not.

ʊ

ʊ

ʊ

bear🐻

goodnight , plum. i love you

delivered 10:02pm

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A/N q(❂‿❂)p : THE PLOT THICKENS!! this chapters kinda stupid BUT— i tried on this one! kind of just let my brain go crazy but i might go back and edit some stuff. lmk what u guys think😔🤲. i hope this part made sense lolololol. next part soon?🙈 love u goobs. TOODLES!

#wbb #iowa wbb #kate martin #wlw #kate martin x reader #caitlin clark #x reader

[starcrossedxwriter]

Wicked Fantasies Part 11.1 (MBJ x OC)

A/N: Ummm so welcome backkk! This is 11.1 because there's a second part to this chapter (I know... my self control keeps getting worse lolol) But I hope you enjoy!

TW: grief

“I’m never fucking drinking again,” Raven moaned to herself as she stumbled out of the comforts of bed. She felt like hell, if hell had a truck run over its head a few dozen times. 

Raven generally considered herself an early riser but nothing could pull her out of bed that morning after what was, objectively, the dumbest night of her life. Part of her wished she had had one or two more drinks so she could have officially transitioned into the ‘blackout drunk’ phase. So that she would, at least, be spared the embarrassing memories. But no, every horrible moment of the night from dancing wildly at the bar to Michael saving her was etched into the crevices of her brain with shocking clarity. 

Now, it was after noon and Raven still found herself wanting to be curled under her blanket asleep so she could escape her embarrassment. 

A knock at the door pulled her out of her wallowing self pity. She did not make an attempt to move, expecting Tiffany to answer. However, when the voice of their landlord rang out and her knocking persisted, she quickly slid on her robe to open the door. She decided Mrs. Winters would have to get over the fact that she looked like death reincarnated. 

“Rough night, dear?” 

Raven grimaced for a moment, she did indeed look as terrible as she felt. 

“Something like that,” Raven offered a tight smile, her body slumping against the door. “W-what can I do for you, Mrs. Winters?” 

“Oh I’m just letting everyone know that we had a pipe burst on the floor above. We’ll have folks in and out and you might hear some noise and stuff. But if you see any leaking into your unit, give me a ring?” 

“Of course. Will do. Thanks, have a good one,” Raven tried her best to politely shoo the woman away. However, she lingered. 

“Oh I meant to tell you, that boyfriend of yours is just such a good egg. So kind and polite. Admittedly I haven’t met many famous people,” she laughed. “But you just don’t expect them to have such good manners, you know?” 

Raven stopped. “My boyfriend?? Sorry… When was he here?” 

“He stopped by this morning. Gave me a check for your rent for the rest of your lease. Oh and asked where your mailbox was, said he wanted to drop something in it.” 

Raven was worried her jaw might come completely unhinged as the woman spoke. 

He did what?? 

“Are you alright, dear??” 

“Y-Yea, yea. Just… a bit of a surprise. Thank you.” 

And with that, Raven immediately closed the door, not listening to the elderly woman’s reply. 

“This nigga… I hate him,” she muttered to herself as she slumped against her door. 

Every cell in her body knew that was not true. But she also knew that everything she had told him last night was still accurate. She was too tired to forgive him and not just him… anyone ever again. The world has used up all of her second chances and she did not have it in her heart to be disappointed by him again. The narrative in her brain was so set in stone, she did not think anything he could say or do would make her believe anything else. She could not even make herself go retrieve the note that was apparently waiting for her in her mailbox. 

“Such a coward,” she grumbled as she flopped back into bed. 

She stared at her phone for several minutes, her text thread with Michael open. She wondered what she could even say? Thank you?

She knew any conversations demanding she pay him back or he rescind the money would be moot. Even if she had the mental fortitude to argue with him right now, she would still lose. But she could not just accept it without trying to push back. 

She typed and erased and typed and erased before lamely landing on: 

Raven: You can’t pay my entire rent. I can’t accept that. 

Raven: I don’t want that.

Michael: Yea you can. Told you… gonna show up every day tryin’ to fix us. You just gotta let me.

Raven: Money isn’t gonna fix this, Michael. 

Michael: I know. But it can fix the tangible things I fucked up for you

Michael: So let me fix that for you. 

Raven paused, as a warm sensation filled her, a warmth she had not felt in over a month now. The warmth of being cared for. She had never had someone take care of her without wanting something in return, except Michael. Even when their relationship was built on transactions, he still took care of her without needing or asking for something from her. The book deal, her rent were just the tangible examples of how he had stepped up to right the wrongs he could and she could not deny that those actions meant something, softened something inside her. 

He was doing exactly what he promised he would do the night before. He was fixing what could be, he was showing with his actions that she meant something to him. And yet, that blockade that stopped that belief from taking root was still there, still prohibiting her from believing these actions were anything more than a skilled manipulation. 

He would draw her back in, he would not change, and when he got ready, he would hurt her again. That’s what everyone in her life did. 

Raven: It doesn’t change anything

Michael: I know… didn’t expect it to.

She tossed her phone to the side and grabbed her pillow, screaming into it as her frustration got the better of her. The complex web of conflicting feelings with Michael B. Jordan trapped at its center only continued to grow. She wanted him to let her go, to stop caring and trying and going out of his way for her because that fit into the narrative nailed to the cross of her brain, it would confirm her beliefs and fears. 

But instead he continued to do the things that made her fall in love with him the first time, things that only reignited the dimmed but still existent flame that was her love for him. And she knew she would never get over him if she kept letting that happen, kept letting him in. 

So she did not even respond. Instead, she just closed the thread and tossed her phone to the side. 

“Let him go, Rae,” she demanded to herself. “You don’t deserve him and he doesn’t love you.” She repeated that a few times before it felt real again, before all that had started to soften was once again as solid as a block of ice. 

***

“You look like shit,” Alex moaned as she watched Michael’s makeup artist, Shanta, struggle to make him look less like a living zombie ahead of his Oprah interview. 

They were tucked away in a suite in Oprah's sprawling LA estate. It was difficult to make Michael feel poor but Oprah was certainly one of the few people in the world who could do so. 

“Thanks, appreciate that.” 

“You know I don’t believe in lying to you. Make sure you get those bags under his eyes,” she instructed. “Alright, this is it. Final stretch. Movie’s out and every review is stellar so far. Do this interview, it’ll air this week, Oscars on Sunday and then you can sleep. Though I bet it’s not the schedule keeping you up? Talked to her since the premiere?” 

Michael forced his body not to sag at the mention of Raven as to not disturb the hard work of the woman trying to make him look alive after days of no sleep.  

“She texted me about the rent thing the next morning. But it’s been radio silence ever since.” 

It had only been a few days since the fiasco after the premiere but Michael’s concern for Raven had not diminished one bit. He  could not let her go as she requested but he tried his hardest to respect her desire for space. His heart was stuck in the quicksand that was Raven and he had no desire to pull himself out. He wanted to be right there. He knew eventually he would have to accept defeat, accept that she had moved on. But he could not do it while she still questioned her own deservedness. She could hate him for the rest of his life, it would be her right. But his soul could not allow her to live thinking so lowly of herself. So if he had to pay 30 years of rent or call in favors to make her life easier and make her see that she deserved care and someone to sacrifice for her, he would do it. It was high time someone in her life put her above themselves. 

“Well, at least she talked to you. That’s something. You’re doing what she asked. Sis has lived a life, she needs time and space. Keep doing what you're doing. Except for the no sleep. For the love of God, by the Oscars, please get a good night’s rest. That’s your night.” 

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, Alex…” 

She scoffed. “You’ve won the big four, Mike. It’s not just because I believe you deserve it… Statistically, Best Actor is yours. The Oscars is your night. Have a little faith in yourself.” 

“I hear you. I just don’t wann-” 

“Excuse me?” A young man poked his head in the door. “Apologies for interrupting. I’m a PA. Just wanted to let you know that we’re almost ready? I can take you out to the garden when you’re ready.” 

“Be right out. Thank you,” Alex called. 

Shanta did her last quick finishing touches before Alex gave him her customary once over. 

“Shanta, my girl, you’re a miracle worker per usual.” 

They both offered Shanta their thanks, Michael rolling his shoulders before heading out the door to walk out to the gardens. 

He had met and interviewed with Oprah once before so he was not particularly nervous. But despite having done millions of interviews, there was always a kernel of nerves right beforehand that he could just never shake. 

He was dressed in slacks and a light black sweater, thankful for a cooler day as he walked out into her expansive gardens where the Oprah Winfrey waited for him. The cameras were already rolling, capturing footage that may or may not make into the hour-long special. 

“The man of the hour!” she called, her arms stretched wide to wrap Michael in a hug. “Actually I think man of the year is more appropriate. Welcome. I can’t tell you how excited I am to have you here.” 

“Thank you, thank you. It’s so good to be here.”

“Have a seat,” she gestured at the very comfy chair across from hers. “And we can jump right in.” 

***

Raven’s head was propped against her fist as she stared at her computer. A sentence. That was the grand total of her hard work for that Wednesday afternoon. But it was something, she supposed. Weeks of hard work had amounted to maybe two or three pages of her book. She had been offering Angelina vague answers on her progress, ducking and dodging her to avoid admitting that there was no way in hell she could have a draft by March 15 like they talked about. 

“Rae? You busy?” 

She turned in her chair toward the door to find Tiffany’s head poking in. 

“Nope… I’ll never be busy again at this rate,” she grumbled. “What’s up?” 

“I just turned on the interview… if you want to watch?” 

Raven scratched her head, unsure if she could even watch him? See him happy and thriving without her? Despite everything happening between them though, she could not pretend there was not a part of her that still wanted to celebrate this moment in his career. Interviewing with Oprah the week he was poised to win his first Oscar? How could she ever forgive herself if she did not watch this? Even if it hurts? 

“I’ll… be there in a sec. Thanks, Tiff.” 

Raven let out a deep sigh before she grabbed the blanket off her bed and dragged herself to the living room. The interview had already started and he looked gorgeous. Tired, she could tell, in the way he constantly had to readjust his posture, in the bags under his eyes that the makeup artist could not quite fully cover. But even at his worst, he looked captivatingly good. 

Raven found herself studying him so intently that she did not even comprehend the words he and Oprah were sharing. She just watched him and his mannerisms, she focused on the glimmer in his eyes that sparked every so often. She missed looking into his eyes, missed how expressive they were.  

This moment only amplified how much she missed him, missed hearing the deep baritone in his voice and the spark in his eyes when he spoke about his passions. She missed his bright and uninhibited laughter, how his hands were always on her in some way. She just missed him. But she had pushed him away, had told him to let her go. And even if he had not fully let go of her yet, she felt too scared to open that door again, even if her soul ached for her to. Particularly when he continued to try to show up for her in small ways. 

And despite how angry she still wanted to be at him, she had never had anyone show up for her quite like this… try for her like he did. And everyday, her brain took up far more mental space than it should have, debating whether she should follow her foolish heart and forgive him or listen to her logical brain and cast him aside. Days passed and she still did not know the answer. 

“So I’ll admit,” Raven’s ears finally started to pick up the conversation between Oprah and Michael, “I watched Waves more times than appropriate. But Gayle and I saw it at Sundance and we both thought it was just the most heartbreaking and poignant look at loss and grief that we had ever seen. While still being engaging and funny and so relatable. The journey your character goes through is just… I mean I think grief is one of the few universal experiences that we all will have at some point. And you really brought that to life through this character and his struggles with addiction. And the fact that you filmed this while engaged in completely different projects with complex characters like Killmonger in Black Panther and Adonis in Creed 3… I’m curious what you pulled from to give that performance?” 

Michael shifted in his seat as he chuckled, Raven had missed how passionate he got about this project, even though he had been talking about it and doing press for it since they first started dating. She knew he had not truly expected the role to blow up in the ways it did but she could tell he was grateful for it, nonetheless. 

“Well first, thank you. Yea aside from Oscar Grant, Andre was the hardest character I’ve ever played and he stretched me as an actor in ways, you know, I didn’t really expect? And I learned so much from him in his sort of journey through grief. You know, when I read the first script, the line ‘grief is the final stage in love’s evolution,’ really stuck out to me. When you lose someone, grief, this enduring pain you feel, is that love shifting and changing because it has nowhere to go, there’s no outlet for it anymore. And so, Andre really reframed my own thoughts on grief and loss and how I process that and allowed me to pull from personal experiences with loss to pour into that character.” 

“Yea I will say, that line was one of my favorites. I sat with that long after the credits rolled.” 

“Yea same. I remember sitting a-and thinking about that one for a while after reading it. And I loved that even in the more comedic moments of this movie, we still had those lines that made you wanna stop and really sit with what the characters were going through.”  

“Definitely, I was dissecting this movie for weeks after. It’s just amazing. So I do want to shift gears to talk about this moment you're experiencing because of this movie. This really is the biggest moment of your career. You’re nominated for your first Oscar and a favorite to win, so far in 2023, you’ve won a SAG Award, Golden Globe, and BAFTA. And you, as of two days ago, just had your directorial debut in Creed 3. First question, how are you still awake?” Both of them shared a laugh. “But serious question, how has this moment felt? How does it feel to be having this moment at this stage of your career?” 

“Oh wow, when you list it like that, I don’t know how I’m awake either,” he chuckled. “But seriously, you know… it’s been a ride. I know you’ve felt this too but you know, you don’t often take a moment to just pause and soak it in. You finish one interview or award show and your mind automatically just jumps to the next one. And I think what I’ve been trying to force myself to do in the later weeks of this insane time is just to slow down and enjoy it. Not rush through it and really enjoy the fruits of… really years of hard work and sacrifice. But that also means sitting with… you know, the challenges of this time too, which isn’t as rewarding,” he admitted with a sad smile. “But I’m growing and learning alot so it’s worth it.” 

Oprah nodded. “You know I always appreciate when people don’t let the 24 hour news cycle and gossip sort of steal their thunder and moment from them. And I applaud you for sort of moving through the more gossipy side of the last few months with grace and maturity. But you haven’t really talked much publicly about those stories and the effect they have had on you. And you don’t have to get into it if you don’t want but I am curious on how you navigated that and really came out on the other side, from what I can see, stronger for it?”

Michael bowed his head and chuckled. “Um… you know a good friend of mine told me that she thought this was the most vulnerable and most genuine I had ever been publicly on this press tour and I think it’s because I’ve had to navigate some really personal stuff during this great but hectic public moment? And that’s new territory for me.” 

“And I think that friend is right. I don’t think we have seen or learned this much about you ever.” 

“Yea and I wish I could take some credit for it but… it was all one person: Raven Turner. And the way we met, now as the world knows, was extremely unconventional and I can admit that our relationship started as a complete lie. A lie I thought would help me be seen as this serious, mature man my team was worried I wasn’t. And I wasn’t,” he admitted. “I was cold and guarded and not at all the best version of myself. And while I regret how we started and trying to fool the world into thinking I’m something I’m not, there isn’t a bone in my body that regrets falling in love with her.” 

He leaned forward a bit as he spoke. “Because all those walls and barriers we build around ourselves to survive in this world of Hollywood? To endure the criticisms and insanity we deal with? She's the first woman to see me. Not the actor and the money and the fame but just me. And in that, she saved me… without trying or intending to. She just loved me and loving her, choosing her is the single greatest decision I ever made. And I hate how this moment has fallen on her, how my terrible decisions led to these pretty disgusting misogynistic attacks on her. And I think my biggest regret is putting someone as pure as her in the line of fire like that and not doing enough to protect her. And you know, I have to live with that, which is tough.” 

“You know I’ve interviewed thousands of people in my career and while I believe you have to change for yourself and on your own, I also have found that the ones who love us, really love us, are often the most powerful catalysts for change in our lives. I’ve certainly seen and experienced that in my own life and it’s important to spotlight those who were that catalyst.” 

“Oh 100%. Especially when, I think this version of me was always there? I was just too hurt to trust anyone with it, so no one saw it. I buried me under this facade I thought was better? But I fell in love with a woman who taught me that you can’t be guarded, you can’t shut down just because you’re hurt. Life is about getting up every day, being authentically you, and reaching out and loving and risking your heart every time. And sometimes you’ll get swatted away and sometimes you’ll get an embrace. But you just deny yourself love when you don’t show up at all. So I’ve been trying to live by that more lately. Because she showed me what real strength and courage looks like. And I want to have that, I want to lead with that.” 

“Wow… you know people are going to watch this and I think, applaud that vulnerability. It’s refreshing to me because I don’t think our world incentivizes or encourages people to admit when they aren’t being their best selves. So I think for you to do that, at a moment when you’re at the top of your game, is commendable.” 

“She deserves to know the positive effect she’s had on my life. To be celebrated for how she supported me. And you know it’s not just me? When we first started dating, I remember her one stipulation was that we couldn’t go out on Wednesday evenings because she hosted a book club for kids at the library she worked at. And that was the most important thing to her, being there for them. The day of our first date, she spent an hour delivering books and SAT prep books to those same kids she worked just because. There’s just a selflessness to her that is truly admirable. And I think while people are attacking her and calling her these vile names because she made a certain choice during a hard time, they should know who she really is. A woman that would drop everything to help you even when you don’t really deserve it. A woman who I’ve seen give others all she had because they needed it more even when she did not have a backup plan for herself. I could honestly talk about her for the rest of this interview because she deserves celebration far more than I ever could. Genuinely good people don’t always get the shine they deserve, they don’t always get the love and care they deserve because we can often take them for granted. But no one deserves to be celebrated more than her, to be celebrated loudly more than she does.” 

“I love that… she seems like quite the woman.” 

“She is… and I hope she knows that.” 

“So tell me about…” 

The words faded away as his words tumbled through Raven’s head. They clashed jarringly against every belief she had internalized about herself, like metal against metal. But she found herself wanting to believe him. Believe the words a section of the world just heard. She wanted to believe that what he saw in her, even over the course of six months, was who she truly was. Not this broken, damaged scapegoat life had fashioned her into. 

There has to be more than this, right? 

Tiffany nudged her with a box of tissues in her hand. Raven had not even realized she was crying but she accepted them gratefully. 

“Don’t know how I still have tears over this man left,” she whispered as she wiped her eyes. 

“I don’t think those tears are because of him, sis.” 

Raven sniffled and grabbed another tissue. “You m-might be onto something. I can’t watch anymore. Night, Tiffany.” 

However, before she reached her bedroom, she heard Tiffany call her name. 

“I know what he did… sucks. And hurts. But that’s a man who loves you, Rae. More than anything. After that? The only person in the world who still won’t believe it is you.”

She turned around to face her, the back of her hand wiping away a few more stray tears. “You know he said the same thing?” 

“Well, I generally don’t think actors are that smart,” Tiffany admitted with a laugh. “But he’s right about that. You deserve to believe good things about yourself, we all do.”

“Nothing good has ever lasted… I always ruin it somehow. I tried to believe I deserved him and life proved that I didn’t,” she answered, her voice small. “D-Don’t have it in me to try again.” 

“Raven… I know we aren’t best friends or anything. But how many times have I watched you forgiven your dad and sister? Let them back in, try to make things right with them? Try to build the family you want?” 

“Too many…” 

“Right… So why does Michael only get one shot when you found the strength to give them 100? When he’s the one actually showing up for you? He’s the one who actually is trying to earn another chance?”  

“It’s not that simple and you know it.” 

“I know that the only person denying you happiness right now… is you. You push away the good people and things in your life because you feel like you don’t deserve it but no one would be here if you didn’t. Michael, the kids in your book club… me. I don’t keep signing leases with you because you’re a terrible person who ruins everything, no one has a gun to our heads, Rae. We’re here because you do deserve it.” 

“Tiff…” 

“Nope, shut up. This pity party is getting old and tired. It doesn’t matter what I think of you… or what Michael thinks or anyone out there.” She gestured toward the window. “All that matters is the narrative you’ve created and until you decide to believe something else, all you’re going to do is push people away and fuck up and self sabotage because it’s all you think you deserve. You gotta wake up and do some fucking work, girl. Cause until you figure out how to erase this narrative from your brain, you’ll never be happy. And you’ll never fall in love with anyone except for someone who treats you like crap. You’ll never build your own family. You’ll never finish your book or have another fulfilling career. You’ll just be stuck in this broken version of yourself alone… forever. And I’ve seen a few different versions of you over the last two years but this is by far the most pitiful.”

Raven had never heard Tiffany be so blunt. The words were biting but she could not deny that some of them rang true in her ears. And that was always the hardest information to hear. 

“Damn… tell me how you really feel.” 

“The soft gentle love wasn’t resonating clearly so had to go with a different tactic…. Just think about it. And once you fix all this shit and move to a mansion in the hills, don’t forget about me.” She winked at her, causing Raven’s jaw to drop slightly. 

“How do you even know that’s gonna happen?” 

She shrugged and grabbed the remote to press play, Raven not even noticing that she paused it.

“Just got a good feeling about the two of you. Now go so I can lust after him in peace while he's still single. Kidding! Kinda..."

Raven let out a small laugh as she shook her head. "I know you're not kidding. Night, Tiff.” 

She slid into her bed, her only refuge of late, and stared at the ceiling. She was surprised she was not tired of looking at it by now. Michael and Tiffany’s words wrestled with her own thoughts for hours

What was her problem, really? It was not that what Michael did was unforgivable because it wasn’t. Some distant part of her, too quiet to break through the noise of her anger, always wondered if there was more to the story, believed that he had to have had some reason. But she was too angry to allow him to explain. It just became vicious ammunition that no one could ever love her or care about her… that she was the problem. 

Well, that’s true… no one’s ever loved you. And everyone who does leaves. 

She supposed her mother must have loved her, but she would never know. She would never feel it. And her grandmother’s love was so distant, so long ago, that it no longer felt tangible, was no longer a tether to anchor her self worth to something positive.

Instead, the only thing that tethered her sense of self worth to anything was her family’s disdain. Disdain that made her question what Michael could’ve seen in her, how he could ever love someone like her? That disdain which made it far easier to believe that what he did was proof that he did not love her than that he possibly did do it to protect her in some weird way. No other thought could live long enough in her brain to take hold. 

And she did not know if doing what Tiffany suggested would fix that. There was not enough time in the world for her muster the courage to interrogate and confront the source of these feelings. She had hoped she would never have to see her family again. Some days, never felt like too soon.

But she knew she could not avoid it. They were the root cause, the narrative in her head was fueled and sustained by them. And screaming at them across the Thanksgiving table and never speaking to them again was not the closure she needed. She thought she had dropped the weight that was her family when she cut them off. But she was still dragging all the luggage they gave her around and it was time to give it back. 

She knew her family did not want to see her either, knew it would be difficult to get them to even speak to her after everything. But she knew she had to try… because she knew there had to be more to life than this. That she had not been born to only suffer through life instead of live it. So she needed to confront her demons for herself, even if her relationship with them did not change one bit.  

She grabbed her computer and her wallet. It was time to go home.

***

Raven’s eyes remained trained on her dad’s house across the street as she sat in her rental car. She was almost shocked that none of her family’s nosy neighbors had not called the police yet as she sat there for nearly an hour, summoning the courage to actually go inside. 

She had felt so sure this was what she needed when she bought her plane ticket. And that confidence did not waver when she stepped onto the plane or during the long journey from LAX to Charlotte, NC. However, once she was in her rental car, she found herself waffling, aimlessly driving around for hours. Her brain seemed unable to direct her to the place she knew she needed to go. Home. 

She just could not make herself do it… not yet anyway. So she did not. Instead, she finally went to her hotel to try to get some rest and her night’s rest turned into the entire Friday holed up in her hotel. She had not booked a return ticket, prayerful and hopeful that there would be a reason to stick around for a few days. But that also meant she did not have the incentive of time to make her move faster. 

But she could not even make herself do this. Because she did not know how to be brave like this. Her life had been nothing but running from pain and confrontation. This was so contrary to that. She did not know how to do any of this. She tossed and turned all night, unable to get any sleep particularly when there was only one person who she wanted to talk to, wanted to seek courage and strength from. Because when she felt scared, when she did not feel strong, he was the only person she wanted to reach for. But she was not sure he would even answer. She had pushed him away, told him she needed space. 

But she had not felt like she could do this alone. So last night, she called him. 

“Rae! Everything ok?” he asked immediately, his question met with silence. 

Raven did not know what to say and regret filled her like ice water in her veins. But she knew it was too late to hang up, she had to see it through. She paid for that moment of weakness when she hit the call button as her throat closed at the sound of her voice. She found it impossible to speak, even if she knew what words to say.  

“I’ll wait until you’re ready, Rae. Got all night for you.” 

And she knew he was not just talking about waiting for her to speak. 

“Why?” she whispered, the simple word coming out in a strangled sound as she tried to push past the tightness in her throat. 

“Why what?” 

“Why even answer after everything I said to you? W-why do you keep trying?” 

“Because I love you,” he answered simply. “And you’re worth it. I’ll keep reaching out, baby girl. Even when you swat me away.” 

“You might be the only person who thinks that,” she whispered back as a tear fell. 

“I don’t think that’s true. But even if it was, knowing one person is in your corner is all you need sometimes.”

She laughed lightly. “That press tour got you only speaking in motivational boxing terms or something?” 

His deep laughter filled her ears and filled her soul with such joy that she had forgotten. She had forgotten what these moments felt like, the two of them on the phone or curled up together in bed, just talking. She missed it… she missed him. But she could not say it, could not bring herself to pull her body out of the water to make that long trek back up the cliff to where he waited for her. Everything in her brain screamed at her that she couldn’t do it, that she did not have it in her. And she hated herself for it. Hated how she clung to the ice barriers around her heart, even though they were utterly fractured and ready to fall. She just was not ready yet. 

She let out a shuddering breath as she hastily wiped away her falling tears. “I… don’t know why I called. I s-shouldn’t have called.”

“Call me anytime, Rae. I’ll always answer. I’ll always show up for you. I hope you know that… at least.” 

“Y-Yea… I think I do… or at least, it’s getting harder to deny it,” she revealed. “Your interview with Oprah… it was really good,” she offered lamely. 

“You watched??” she could hear the surprise in his voice. 

“Yea… I almost didn’t,” she admitted. “But I caught most of it. Did you mean it? Everything you said?” 

“Every single word.” There was no arguing with the definitive tone in his voice. “I get that you don’t trust me anymore. I lied and kept secrets. But one thing I never lied about is how much I love you.”  

Her eyes clenched shut for a moment. That was one thing he had always been consistent about, her ears had just been perpetually shut to it. 

“I… um… I gotta go. Early day tomorrow,” she lied as she sniffled. “I’m sorry for bothering you. Bye, Michael.” 

She was not sure what she had expected to get from that call and, at first, it felt as if she only got a firm kick in the heart for it. But for the first time since she landed, Raven had enough strength to finally drive to her family’s house. She had rolled her eyes at his boxing motivational quotes but hearing someone say they were in her corner, that had given her courage. To just feel like someone was behind her, even if she was alone, that meant something to her. 

She took a deep breath and got out of her car, forcing her legs to carry her to the front door. 

Her rounds of knocks went unanswered, Raven getting slightly frustrated but determined not to leave the porch. If she turned around and walked away, she’d never come back. 

After an extremely brief internal debate, she decided to simply let herself in, deciding that since she contributed to the mortgage, she had a right to come in as she pleased. And her father still, foolishly, kept a spare key underneath the welcome mat.

Though she had not been to her family’s home in two years or so, it still looked the same. Her father’s favorite work boots were thrown haphazardly at the door, several pairs of her sister’s shoes lined up next to them. She was an utter mess but she was, at least, somewhat neat. And it still felt… cold. And it had nothing to do with the cold winter east coast weather. The house had always felt like that, void of warmth and love that made a home a home. 

“Kiara?” she called out. “Dad?” However, she was met with utter silence. 

Part of her supposed she was thankful they were not home and that they had not just ignored her or something. She stood in the living room, staring around the room at the pictures that lined the walls and shelves. So many of her mom, her dad, and Kiara but there were none of her. That was not a surprise, it had always been that way. But that did not make it sting any less. All they had ever wanted was to erase her from their lives and if a stranger walked into this house, it would be as if she never existed.

She started up the stairs, her eyes refusing to linger long on any of the photos there. They were all lies anyway, a picture perfect family that did not exist because she had been born. She decided to ascend to the attic once she made it upstairs. Because that was where all her grandmother’s and some of her own things now lived. She had never really gone through her grandmother’s things after she passed, no one aside from her dad to pack them up. But she knew there was so much of their lives, so many memories she had forgotten of the one person who loved her, forgotten in those boxes that she now desperately needed to remember. 

She ignored how narrow the opening to the attic was, realizing that it had been easier to maneuver up here when she was a young teenager. Everything was still neatly packed away as if her grandmother would be back one day to pick it up. 

She started to open each box, pulling out and examining her grandmother’s things, so many beautiful things forgotten in this attic no one went into. For the first time in nearly two decades, she felt close to the only maternal figure she had ever had, felt like her grandmother’s hand was on her shoulder as she reminisced on their short but well-lived time together. 

She found the old costume jewelry her grandmother used to let her play with, laughing to herself as she thought back to dressing up in front of her vanity mirror pretending to be a model or whatever silly idea the pair had thought up. She almost cried as she found a very crumpled piece of paper with the last story she gave her grandmother to read before she died, a random short story that she had written for class. She had not realized, as she found a folder, just how many of her stories her grandmother had kept. 

A gold glint caught her attention, Raven reaching into a giant box to find a shoe box. Raven had seen that box 100 times but her grandmother had never let her touch it, claiming that it held priceless family heirlooms that she did not want Raven or Kiara to mess up. Raven rolled her eyes that something her grandmother had valued so much had been discarded and forgotten haphazardly at the bottom of this box. 

Finally giving into her childhood curiosity, she opened it. It was still filled with things, part of her thankful that Kiara had never found it. The jewelry and pieces in it were gorgeous and indeed priceless. She took her time as she examined each one, wondering if they had belonged to her mother or her grandmother or some other relative she never met. However, it was what existed underneath the jewelry that caught her eye: piles of tied up envelopes, one with her name on it and one with Kiara’s. 

The handwriting was not her grandmother’s, which made Raven even more curious. 

She pulled out the stack with her name on it and undid the thin ribbon that tied them together. There were ten letters there in total, each one with a different note scribbled on the envelope. 

To Raven on your 18th birthday 

To Raven on high school graduation 

To Raven after your first love 

To Raven after your first heartbreak

To Raven on college graduation 

To Raven on your wedding day 

She only had to flip through a few of them to realize who they were from. Her mom. 

“You’re killing me,” she muttered to the sky, unsure if she was speaking to God, her grandmother, her mother or all three. 

Her hands trembled slightly as she ripped open the one on top, addressed to her on her 18th birthday. These were some of the only words her mother would get to say to her, she did not care how long ago she should have read it. She would savor each one. 

To my sweet darling girl, 

If you are reading this, it means that I am not physically there with you on your birthday. It means that I’ve missed 18 birthdays and too many milestones to write a letter for and for that, I am sorry. You might be wondering why there is not a letter for all those milestones and birthdays that have taken place but this felt like the best place to start and the appropriate age for reading the musings of a dying woman. If there’s even such a thing.

We learned your gender today. Another sweet girl. If the doctor somehow got it wrong, these letters will be incredibly awkward. But I know they are right. Because you, my darling girl, are the manifestation of my wildest dreams. I dreamed of you almost a year ago, this beautiful girl with half my face but all of my spirit and personality. And every night since then, I prayed, begged God to make that dream a reality… no matter the cost. And he did. 

I know my body is not strong enough to be your mother, to be around to be the mother someone as brilliant as you will deserve. But I hope you know that deciding to have you and keep you, regardless of the risks, is the single greatest decision I ever made. You were not an accident or a misfortune given to me. You are my dreams. And if my last moments on this earth are spent looking at you, it will have been worth it. 

I waited until 18 to start these letters because I worried a child could never understand the choice I made. And you may still not. And if you resent me for leaving you before you could know me, I understand that too. But I hope that through these letters, you will get to know me. And you will feel some semblance of the immense love I have for you. 

I don’t have much advice because you’ve likely heard it all at this point. But the two most important things I can tell you, that I wish someone had told 18 year old me, is to know that failure is part of the journey. Your grandmother used to always tell me to keep reaching out your hand even if it doesn’t work. I didn’t really understand it soon enough but I hope you do. Life is about risks and if you don’t reach out your hand out of fear, you’ll protect yourself from pain but you will also miss out on the gifts God is trying to hand you. As a daughter, I hated to admit it, but mama was right about that… and so many other things. 

And finally, more importantly than anything else I could offer you in these letters, please remember every day that you are so, so loved. 

Know that regardless of what happened to me, I loved you with every fiber of my being until my last breath. Know that you were a gift from God. And every day you venture out into this world, know that you are worthy of so much because you were so loved from the moment you were dreamed up. Do not let anyone or whatever will happen to you in what I pray is a long, rich, happy life diminish that light, diminish your worth. I know how special you are and I don’t even know your name yet. And while I hope that your father and grandmother will affirm you daily, you don’t need other people to tell you that you are special. You have to know it for yourself. That’s the most important advice I can give you. Know who you are and your worth and take up as much space in this world as you want. And as long as you never forget how special you are… how deserving you are, you’ll move through this world shining bright. And the world will be forced to know it too and move to give you what you deserve. It’s not much and a bit cliche perhaps but I’ve been torn down enough to know that sometimes we all need the reminder. But those are stories for another letter. 

By the time I write my next letter, I promise I will have picked out a name for you. I read a book the other day where the main character was named Raven… I had not thought of it before but I like it. 

Happy Birthday. 

Love, 

Mom

The river of tears streaming down Raven’s face splashed against the slanted handwriting on the page, Raven quickly whisking them away so the words would remain legible. Raven did not even know how long she sat there staring at the words on the page, her heart bursting with the knowledge that her mother’s hand had touched this very paper, that she had poured her heart and soul into every word etched into it. 

It was like proof she had been real and not this entity Raven had conjured up in her head. Raven could not stop herself from ripping open all the ones that she should have gotten along the way. The one for her first love and the separate one on heartbreak were four pages each, and Raven did not pay attention to the clock as she absorbed each and every word. 

Everything she had learned about her mother had been through her grandmother and she had always wondered if her grandmother told her things just to make her feel better. But she realized that her grandmother had been telling the truth, she and her mother were so much alike. She found herself nodding and laughing along to her mother’s stories and wisdom embedded in all those pages. She was a prolific storyteller too and an amazing writer, another trait Raven realized she must have inherited from her.

For the first time in 30 years, Raven did not feel weighed down by this unbearable guilt. She felt lighter than she had ever been in her entire life. Perhaps this was what God wanted her to find here, not a confrontation with her family, but these words. This tangible proof that her mother had chosen her, wanted her… loved her and that she had not ruined anything at all. 

Her mother would not have wanted her to carry such guilt around for so long because there was nothing to be guilty about. 

The letters were scattered across the attic floor when she heard the faint sound of their garage opening. She quickly folded up all of her letters and stuffed them back into the box, tucking it under her arm as she climbed out of the attic. She did not make much noise as she closed up the attic, just as she heard her father and sister close the garage door and enter the kitchen. 

Their voices drifted up to her ears as she started to climb down the stairs, deciding that she might as well get the pure unpleasantness of this moment over with. 

“Wait… you hear that? Is someone in the house??” she heard her sister ask, knowing that they both could hear her footsteps against the old floorboards. 

“Don’t get your gun,” she called out as she started down the stairs. “It’s just me.” 

She was greeted with less-than-welcoming expressions from her family, such disdain that it made her want to scurry away. But she did not. She had done enough of that in her life.

“Adding breaking and entering to your criminal activity, now?” 

Raven scoffed as she placed the box on the kitchen counter that stood between her and her family. 

“Don’t think you can break into a house you helped pay for?” she answered coolly. “And I’m not the one with a mug shot here if I remember correctly.” 

“No you’re just the one who sold her cheap ass for a quick buck.” 

Raven shook her head, opening and closing her mouth for a few moments as she tried to find the words. 

“Yea I did… And I’m not proud of it,” Raven admitted. “But I won’t let you or anyone shame me for doing what I needed to do to survive. What helped the two of you survive too.” Raven scratched her head, realizing that trying to get closure from her family was unnecessary. Her mother’s words had given her all the closure she had ever needed. That’s what she had come home for. 

“You know, I got a plane ready to rip you both a new one for 30 years of abuse and torture. To try to force you to admit that I’m not the villain you made me to be. But… I don’t need that anymore. Because the cross of guilt and shame you two forced onto my back for all these years isn’t one I should have to carry. But I did because I thought it was the only way to keep you two around. And even without you two in my life, I still drag that cross around because I thought I deserved it. But I realized today, way too late, that I don’t need a damn thing from either of you to put it down.” 

“So you came here to what? To chastise us and steal?” her father asked, gesturing toward the box on the counter. 

“You can’t steal things that belong to you. These are letters mom wrote to me,” she lifted the open letters out before sliding the unopened pile to her sister. “And to you.” 

“Your mother wrote these?” he asked, his jaw tensing as he looked down at the stack. 

“Yeah, she did. You’ll enjoy yours… she was a really good storyteller,” she glanced at Kiara. “These letters just told me something I should’ve realized long before Thanksgiving. That cross? That guilt? It isn’t mine. And I am done wasting my life trying to rectify the mistake of being born. Because it wasn’t a mistake. She chose me… prayed for a second daughter knowing the cost and she decided it was worth it. And hearing her say that? That’s all I need to know that I deserve so much more than this… so much more than you.” She took a deep breath. “Being a grieving husband isn’t an excuse to be a terrible father and I’ll just be grateful I found some way to survive you and this. And jealousy doesn’t give you the right to be a shitty sister.” 

“What the fuck do I have to be jealous of??” 

“I always wondered that. But reading those letters… I finally got it. Because even as a failed author and prostitute, I’m everything she was. Grandma used to always say I had her personality… her talent. I always thought she was lying to make me feel better. But you knew she wasn’t and you could never stand it. Couldn’t stand that I was more like her than you.” For the first time, her sister was speechless. A good look on her in Raven’s opinion. “Mom wanted so much better for me than this and I’m gonna go and find it. Because I’ve wasted too much energy trying to earn the love of people who don’t deserve it. So if you want to go to your graves hating me, making me the scapegoat for every problem in your miserable lives, have at it. But know that I don’t hate you even after all this. I won’t be weighed down anymore by any feelings toward either of you ever again. You aren’t worth it.”

Raven pulled herself to full height and rolled her shoulder back as she scooped up the box and folder she had taken from her grandmother’s stuff. 

“Now I’m gonna go and have that long… rich and happy life mom wanted for me. And I hope you two do the same.” 

She did not look behind her as she walked away, a soft smile on her face as she walked out of her family’s house for the last time.

She let out a long laugh as she sat in her car, so much of the weight she had been carrying around gone. It did not feel sad like when she cut off her family at Thanksgiving. She finally felt as if she had cut the anchor away and she could float away, she could move forward and heal all the broken pieces of herself that they had gleefully chipped away at. 

When she got back to her hotel room, she just kept rereading her mom’s words. She would memorize each letter at this point. A part of her desperately wanted to open the other ones but she had not reached those milestones just yet so she left them where they were. For some reason, she worried her mother would disapprove of her breaking into them early. 

One line of five letters she read and reread stuck to her bones above all else. And of course, as if her mother had known, it was embedded in the letter for her first love. Love… the thing that had cracked her wide open and brought her to this moment in the first place.

You’d be surprised to know that this was the hardest of the letters to write. Because everyone has some prolific idea of what love is and feels like. And I realized I don’t… because I don’t think I’ve ever experienced the love I pray you are as you read this. That’s not to say I don’t love your father, I do. But I want something different than convenience for you. I hope that the love you feel is safe, allows you to feel the full spectrum of what it means to be human - strong and vulnerable, insecure and confident, boisterous and timid. I hope it feels like stepping out of the cold air and into a warm embrace. I hope it is loud and unapologetic because you deserve nothing less. And I hope it makes you feel so enraptured that everything else in the world goes quiet. And lastly, I hope, more than anything, that it feels like home. That when you’re in this person’s embrace, you feel as if your soul finally landed right where it is supposed to be. 

Her eyes scanned that passage over and over again, realizing that she had found the exact love her mother described. She had come back here thinking she was coming home. But this wasn’t home at all. Home was where he was. And he was back in LA, about to prepare for the biggest night of his life in 24 hours. And regardless of whatever trust needed to be rebuilt and conversations needed to be had, she could not allow herself to miss it. She could not allow herself to not show up for him.

Raven scrambled to find her phone as it was hidden beneath sheets of paper. She scrolled through, praying she had not deleted a long forgotten group thread that housed one number she had once thought she would never need but now was the most important phone number in the world. 

She almost shouted praises to God when she found it, clicking the call button on the unsaved number. She paced up and down beside her bed as every agonizing ring dragged on. 

“Didn’t think I’d see your name pop up on my phone ever again.” 

Raven let out a sigh of relief as her voice filled her ears. “I know… me either. But I need a favor.” 

“Does it involve a certain award show tomorrow night?” 

“Yes. Is it too late?” 

“Yea it is.” she knew Alex could hear the tiny sigh of sadness she let out. “For anyone but me. I’ve earned enough favors around here to create a miracle or two.”

“Really?? Cause I need like more than one or two miracles… a dress, hair, makeup… hell a flight from Charlotte to make it back in time. Without him knowing?”

“Consider all of it done. Hope you don’t mind getting up at the ass crack of dawn though.” Alex asked, Raven hearing the smile in her tone. 

“For him… I’ll get up anytime.” 

“Good. Then I'll take care of everything... I'll have to tell his mom but she'll love this. And probably be happy as hell that she doesn't have to go anymore. I'll text you details in an hour."

"An hour?? That's all you need??"

"You're new here so I'm gonna choose to not be offended by that."  

"Noted." She was about to hang up when she stopped herself. “Hey… Alex? Thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it. Seriously. Just make sure your ass is on that plane and in LAX tomorrow when Allen picks you up, got it?” 

Raven chuckled. “Yea I got it. See you tomorrow.”

Tag List: @readinghere2023 @blackerthings @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @physicxal @purplehairgawdess @miyuhpapayuh @rueruesclues @geemamii @certifiedlesbianbaddie @pipsqueak-98 @nyifly22 @destinio1 @twocentaur @gopaperless @musicisme333 @roguekiki @majesticbrownjawn @taurusqueen83 @mysteryuz @miamormilan @itsknor-thedeep @naj-ay444 @mads-grace4 @nayaesworld @kholdkill @msniaimani @nccu-rnc @apenasumlug4r @dezzy154

***

A/N: So now will y'all stop yelling at me LOLOL our good sis is going back to her man! We love to see it! How surprised do we think Michael's going to be? Part 11.2 will be the Oscars! Drop a comment and let me know what you thought! And as always, thanks for reading!

#black writers #michael b jordan #michael b jordan x oc #mbjordanedit #black panther #michael b jordan fanfic #michael b jordan x reader #creed 3 #adonis creed #creed iii

[pascal-princess]

[ playing dangerous ]

a/n: this is my first ever fic so pls be kind!! also not proofread so any mistakes i apologise.

— warnings : dark fic (18+), joel isn’t what you think in this, domestic abuse! (not joel), drugging, dom!joel, big!joel/small!reader, age gap (not mentioned but it’s there, around 26 years), kidnap if you squint ig. + plus tommy.

“Joel it’s all kickin’ off next door man”

Tommy’s voice filled his ears through the phone as he sighed… not again… surely.

“What this time?”

“It’s that dude, I ain’t gotta clue what his problem is but she’s gettin’ the brunt of it yet again” Tommy’s eyes scanned through the blinds that were peeled apart by his fingers, peering into your window trying to get a good visual of what was going on.

This had been going on for the past few months, your boyfriend Rick had a bad gambling addiction… and based on his results you’d either get pounded brutally into the bed as his victory celebration, despite your cries. Or… like today; a hissy fit which every time without fail, resulted in bruises and tears, as his anger at his loss seemed to be all your fault.

This time; tommy could hear the heavy thuds of furniture being thrown across rooms, and twinkles of glass that smashed beneath your feet. He could hear the soft whimpers and sobs that left your body as Rick practically screamed at you.

“it’s all your fault you fuckin’ bitch, you make me do this”

“Joel what do i do, man? I can’t jus’ leave er’”

“Stay where you are, I’m comin’ home”

Joel hung up the phone and got into his pick-up truck and began the short drive home; he knew you were a sweetheart, a soft innocent angel who wouldn’t hurt a fly. You always smiled at him and even once baked him cookies, which he admired for a good few days before throwing his diet out the window, consuming the gooey chocolate chip delights you made. He couldn’t understand why you stayed, why you let Rick treat you the way he did. He also couldn’t understand how Rick could treat you such a way.

Maybe you were secretly an awful person, he thought… or hoped. Because the thought of someone as kind and caring as you receiving the exact opposite just because of the fact that you won’t fight back killed him inside. He refused to admit the feeling of jealousy that ached inside of him; but he often thought of what it’d be like to hold you at night, to be the man to make you smile, to wipe away your tears instead of being the dick that caused them.

His anger grew more and more as he approached his driveway, speeding up a bit as he swerved in and pulled to a halt, the tires screeching against the concrete. He threw open his door and made the short walk to your front porch, knuckles thumping against the wood as he waited for a response… that was when he realised… silence.

He banged again and called your name this time, willing you for a response. You could’ve heard a pin drop, and it was scaring him.

He was just about to kick the door down when he heard the lock of the door flick, and watched as it slowly peeled open, too slow.

“Joel?” your cracking voice called his name and he could’ve burst into tears himself.

“Sweetheart, ya’ alright?” he pushed open the door a little more to get a view of your face, and god he wished he hadn’t.

“Honey” He sighed, eyeing the swelling bruise that imprinted itself onto your cheek, the redness of your face from crying just intensifying it.

“Joel, please just go” you kept yourself hidden, yes, Rick was gone. He walked out as soon as he was finished releasing his stress, with the words “i’ll be back later” but you still felt the quivers of fear make their way through your body.

“I can’t do that, you know i can’t” His hands were placed on his hips as he scanned everywhere he could for more marks, and all he could see was bruises, old and new, littered across your arms. Even the softness of your feet covered in dried blood from stepping on the glass.

When that caught his eye he knew you needed attention.

“Right, you’re comin’ over so i can get ya cleaned up” He reached for your hand but you pulled back abruptly.

“I can’t, Joel. I can’t leave”

“Then i’ll carry you”

“You don’t get it!” you raised your voice a little louder to get the message across.

“You’re right, I don’t get it. But I ain’t gonna leave you alone right now so you either move, or I move ya myself”

You sighed, knowing he wasn’t gonna let up, so you made the brave decision to step outside… wincing as your feet made contact with the hard stone below you. Joel was there right away, scooping you up into his arms and hoisting you on one side of his hip as his other hand closed your front door. He eyed you for a moment, making sure he wasn’t hurting you before making his way over to his house.

All the fear coursing through your veins dulled as you felt joel’s touch, he was much bigger than you which at the start intimidated you, but now all you wanted to do was crawl into his embrace and let him take care of your problems.

Joel was one of your favourite people; when you moved in you two immediately hit it off, becoming very quick friends. From what you heard from Tommy, Joel wasn’t the type of person to be overly nice to everyone he meets, but you were different. He would always help you out when you had issues with the plumbing or gas, as Rick was never interested in doing any of that. He would bring over leftovers for you as he knew you struggled to eat after a particularly bad fight. Basically anytime Rick wasn’t there, Joel was. Insisting on taking care of you when things went wrong. Helping you get out of bed, and brushing your hair for you on the worst days.

Tommy was already waiting with the front door open, allowing Joel inside as he carried you through the threshold.

“She alright?” Tommy asked and Joel nodded slightly, taking you through to the kitchen and perching you up on the counter, picking up your leg and inspecting your foot for the first time.

“You gotta’ start wearing shoes, sweetheart”

You gave a slightly amused breath at his words but he wasn’t laughing in the slightest. He was angry.

Angry at me? you thought

He moved to one of the cupboards, pulling out a first aid kit and making his way back to you, pulling a stool over and sitting in front of your legs, pulling your feet into his lap and getting to work with the antiseptic.

“ouch!” you winced as the stinging made its way through your body.

“I know babygirl, m’sorry. i’ll just be a little minute more and then you’re done, m’kay?”

That was another thing that was unusual with Joel, his affection towards you. It was clear that he cared about your feelings, maybe it was just because he knew that you didn’t get much at home… or maybe… just maybe…

“All done, sweet girl” you were pulled from your thoughts as he placed the bloodied cotton pads onto the counter beside you and you winced internally at how much blood there actually was. He picked up a thin bandage and began to wrap each of your feet. making sure the cuts were covered.

“Thank you” you spoke quietly, even when he was finished he still held your feet in his lap, the warmness and softness of his jeans bringing you comfort. It made you yawn and made your limbs stretch slightly.

“You tired?” he asked. You shook your head, you knew he’d have you sleep here if you asked but you didn’t want an excuse to stay any longer, on the off chance that Rick was already on his way home.

“I better get going” Joel’s hands held onto your hips as you slid down off the counter, your feet feeling way better touching the floor than before.

“She ain’t leavin’” Tommy’s voice interrupted the both of you, you turned to face the younger brother who was standing in the door way, essentially blocking your exit.

“I-I have to”

“No frickin’ way!” Tommy protested, raising his voice a bit.

“Tommy” Joel warned.

“No, absolutely not! You think we’re gonna let you go back there after everything that sick son of a bitch has done? You’re fuckin’ crazy”

“You don’t understand” You spoke softly, a whimper caught in the back of your throat.

“No you don’t understand! You wanna fuckin’ die huh? You got some sorta death wish?” Tommy was stepping closer to you, not with the intention of intimidating you but out of pure frustration with you.

“Tommy! Back the fuck off” Joel stepped forward now too, both brothers exchanging looks that told you this had been more than a one time conversation. You couldn’t help the tears that burned your eyes, begging to be released, your lip wobbling with every breath.

Tommy was an incredible friend to you, but he was the harsher one out of the two brothers when it came down to you. Joel was better at hiding his true feelings but Tommy, wouldn’t let you hear the end of it.

“What if one day we ain’t there huh? what’s she gonna do? who’s she gonna run to? If she ain’t already dead by that point” his words were harsh and brought all your emotions to light.

“Stop it! please!” you burst into tears, chest tightening as your sobs began to wrack your body.

Joel was immediately at your side pulling you into his embrace tightly and running his hand through your hair, whispering sweet words.

“M’sorry, honey. But you ain’t leaving tonight and that’s final” Tommy spoke before disappearing into the hallway.

“He ain’t tryna be mean sweetheart” Joel whispered as you clung to him.

“I-I know” you spoke hiccuping through your words.

“He’s just worried about you, and so am I”

You pulled away from Joel’s embrace, wiping your eyes. Of course you knew it was wrong, Of course you knew you could get seriously hurt or end up dead. But if it was that straightforward you would’ve been gone a long time ago.

“Can you at least stay until i get some painkillers in ya’?” Joel asked, and it wasn’t a big ask at all… but to you it felt like a hefty question. But it wouldn’t hurt right? You could take the painkillers then head straight back home as if nothing happened.

You nodded and Joel gave a soft smile, and took your hand, leading you through the house and up the stairs.

“I keep everythin’ in my bathroom cabinet, jus’ better that way” he seemingly answered every question you had without you even having to ask.

He led you to sit on his bed as he went into the bathroom, rummaging for a few moments before returning with little white capsules in his hand, he reached into his night stand and grabbed an unopened bottle of water, twisting the cap and handing you both items.

He watched you carefully as you took the pills, swallowing them with water and taking a few more chugs of the water as you didn’t realise how thirsty you were. You handed the bottle back to him and he placed it back on his nightstand.

His room was so cozy, you had never been up here before. Shades of grey and black accented the room, lights dim and sheets soft, his bed big enough for 4 people never mind just him. You could tell this room probably wasn’t his idea as Joel wasn’t one to prioritise his own comfort. It was so cozy that your eyes began to droop, and your head began to sway.

“Lay down, babygirl” Joel instructed and even came to your side to aid you but you pushed him off.

“Nuh-uh I can’t, have to go home”

“Just lay down for 5 minutes, c’mon i don’t want you passing out” he insisted.

“M’kay, 5 minutes” He helped you lay down as you got comfortable on his plushy sheets, it was almost unusual how sleepy you were. You felt your eyes begin to shut against your will and felt your breathing begin to slow. You were falling asleep, but no matter what you did you couldn’t stop it from overcoming you. Your body drifting into a deep slumber before Joel’s eyes.

If only you’d of seen the bottle of sleeping pills sat out on his bathroom counter.

-

When you woke, it was way darker outside, an ambient light flashing through, you squinted for a minute until you realised it was police lights. You searched your surroundings realising you were wearing a t-shirt and bottoms that did not belong to you, and you were also laying on joel’s pillows, the covers atop of you. You threw the covers off and began to stand up, your sleepiness still coursing through your body. how long did i sleep?

You padded towards the window, looking out and gasping at the sight of Rick being pushed into the back of a police car, his protests actively ignored by the officers, you began to start panicking but something caught your eye, or someone.

Tommy stood on the front porch, a cigarette hanging from his lips as he watched the car drive down the street, the officer driving giving him a wave as they passed… they know each other?

“You’re awake” your body jolted as you spun round to face Joel, who stood in the middle of the room holding a mug of what looked and smelled like tea. He motioned for you to take the mug but you ignored him, eyeing him with a look of betrayal.

“I know you didn’t want this sweet girl but i-”

“Didn’t want this? Joel do you have any fucking idea what you’ve just done? He’s gonna get out and he’s gonna come straight for me, do you understand that?” you ran your hands through your hair, pacing back and forth and contemplating all of your options.

“Hey, hey, hey” Joel sat the mug down and walked over grabbing a hold of your shoulders and pulling you to him. “He ain’t gonna hurt you no more, understand”

You looked into his eyes and saw nothing but pure sureness in his eyes.

“He comes anywhere near ya i’ll kill m’ myself”… again, the sureness… but something else lurked in his irises, something dark.

“You’re not killing anyone Joel” you pulled out of his grip and began to walk away, searching for your lost clothes, rummaging through his wardrobe and under his bed.

“Where’s all my stuff?”

Joel sighed and walked over to you again.

“It’s in the laundry, why are you so desperate to leave? He’s not here anymore” You heard the frustration in his voice but why was he angry at you, it meant you could go home peacefully.

“Because it’s my home, Joel”

“This is your home” He said plainly, which in any other circumstance would’ve been sweet but you couldn’t shake the feeling of something being wrong.

“That’s kind Joel but I really gotta-”

“You think now that i’ve got you i’m just gonna let you go?” He chuckled.

The air shifted as you looked into Joel’s eyes that seemed to have nothing but pure lust for you, he had been drinking.

But it wasn’t until your eyes caught the little orange pill bottle sat open on the counter that it finally clicked. And he noticed when it clicked. His eyes followed yours and he sighed at his mistake, before giving a slight scoff.

“Sorry, probably shoulda’ put that away before”

“Joel?” You grew more and more frightened as the seconds grew by, this wasn’t your Joel. This Joel had something dark and malicious about him.

“Hey, it’s alright sweetheart” he came up and held your face in his hands…

“I’m gonna take care of you now”

-

a/n: please let me know if you want a part two i’d be happy to write one! any comments and reblogs are so greatly appreciated thank you so much for reading.

love, mila🎀

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #tlou fic #joel miller fic #dark joel miller #joel miller angst #the last of us x reader #no outbreak!joel miller #dark!joel miller #dark!fic #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #joel miller x fem!reader

[erikahenningsen]

14 or 43, either rejanis!

14. A kiss to the stomach

The fact that Janis is now a person who gets to make out with Regina George in her bedroom after school is, even three months into their relationship, mind-blowing.

Of course, it took them several months to get on speaking terms again, let alone hanging out alone together.

In all the ways that Janis imagined them kissing—although for a period of several years Janis only fantasized that Regina would kiss her so Janis could punch her in the face and then tell the entire school—it was never Janis who made the first move.

Janis remembers it like it was yesterday (and, okay, it was only a few weeks ago): they were sitting in Regina's backyard, soaking in the last vestiges of the summer air before the leaves started turning and Regina started wearing leather pants again. Regina had looked so breathtakingly beautiful in the light of the setting sun, laughing at something Janis had said, and Janis suddenly couldn't stand living her life having not kissed Regina George (that disastrous sixth grade spin-the-bottle game notwithstanding).

So now Janis finds herself on a Thursday afternoon, her mouth on Regina's as they recline on Regina's bed, hands wandering over warm curves and soft skin.

They still haven't graduated past making out and some heavy over-the-clothes petting. And Janis respects Regina's boundaries. She really does. It's just that the fact that Regina apparently has boundaries now has taken some time to wrap her mind around.

Janis toys with the hem of Regina's shirt, fingers aching to slide underneath, flexing in the material, and she decides there can't be any harm in asking.

"Can I take this off?" Janis murmurs against Regina's mouth, frankly impressed that she still retains the ability to speak in sentences with the scent of Regina's perfume enveloping her and warm hands roaming over her back.

Regina stills, and is quiet for so long that Janis starts to feel a creeping sense of dread.

"Janis," Regina whispers, pulling back a little. "You have to understand that I..." She pauses again. "I do want you to."

"Okay?" Janis says, like it's a question, because that didn't exactly sound like a yes.

"But I'm not—I don't look how you might expect," Regina says, so quietly, her eyes not meeting Janis's. "I have scars, and I'm still working on losing the weight from..."

She doesn't finish the sentence, and she doesn't need to. They've talked about this, obviously—the things Regina did to Janis, and the things Janis did to her in return. Janis knows Regina has a lot of insecurities about her body. But she never realized that this was what was holding them back.

"Regina, I'm sorry," Janis says, but Regina shakes her head quickly.

"I don't want you to apologize," she says. "I just want you to... manage your expectations."

Janis, frankly, can't imagine a more ridiculous idea than finally seeing Regina—all of Regina—and being anything other than elated, but she just nods, and Regina nods in return.

Slowly, Janis pushes up Regina's shirt, not pulling it all the way off, but just past Regina's bra, revealing inch by inch pale, smooth skin that Janis can't tear her eyes away from.

There is, in fact, a scar that runs down and across Regina's side, the skin puckered and pale but no less beautiful. On either side of Regina's lower stomach are silvery, thin stretch marks, much like Janis has on her own body in other places.

After a moment, Janis realizes that she's just staring, slightly open-mouthed, so she leans forward and gives Regina a reassuring kiss.

"You're so beautiful," she whispers, her hand finally brushing over Regina's skin with no barriers. She feels Regina's stomach muscles tighten under her touch.

"I bet you say that to all the girls," Regina replies. The way her voice quivers tells Janis she's using humor to deflect her anxiety.

"Well, I only mean it when I say it to you," Janis teases back.

Janis starts trailing kisses down Regina's mouth, over her chin, to the divot between her collarbones, and then down the center of her abdomen until she's eye level with Regina's bellybutton. Regina tenses, holding her breath, and Janis looks up at her. Regina's cheeks are flushed, eyes dark. Janis never, ever gets tired of the sight.

Carefully, tenderly, Janis presses a kiss to one of the stretch marks. Though Regina's skin is warm, it erupts in goosebumps, and Janis feels a surge of lust at the realization that she is the one causing these reactions.

Janis moves across Regina's stomach until each stretch mark has been softly kissed and Regina's breath starts coming in little pants. Once she finishes, she makes her way back up to Regina's mouth, murmuring, "Gorgeous," and punctuating it with a kiss.

"You're so cheesy," Regina says, a little breathlessly.

"Keep complaining and you won't get your reward," Janis says, mock-threateningly.

Regina's eyes narrow. "Reward?"

"Yeah," Janis says.

Then she sits up and pulls off her own shirt.

Regina doesn't complain again after that.

#rejanis #mean girls #mean girls 2024 #mean girls the musical #mean girls broadway #regina george #janis 'imi'ike #janis sarkisian #janis ian #ask #anonymous #prompts

[coryothesub]

Coryo from the academy being bullied by his classmates, the reader defends him, but with other intentions *wink, wink*

Oh dear anon this is an idea I didn't know I needed but I legit fell in love with it! This is also my first time writing Academy Coryo and I really enjoyed it, he’s just so innocent I can't... 

nsfw / mdni / academy!sub!coryo / academy!dom!reader

You were on your way to the library when you noticed a couple of girls taunting Coriolanus Snow in the hallway.

He was a year younger than you and you didn't know much about him except for the obvious fact that he was cute. And apparently he had some money problems because the whole conflict was about some extra food he had taken from the cafeteria for later.

“I knew it!” Valentia Frost looked upon him with an evil grin waving that goddamn sandwich in the air.

“Look at this little snob trying to act like he's one of us, but the Snows are actually a bunch of hungry beggars. So pathetic!”

Coriolanus stood by the wall completely frozen clutching at his textbooks. His face was flooded in red and you noticed tears welling up in his big blue eyes. He looked as if he was about to die from embarrassment and you suddenly felt sorry for him. Luckily you had the reputation of a menace after you had knocked out the biggest guy in your class when he tried to put a frog down your shirt.

“Leave him alone Valentia!” you shouted at her across the hallway. “The boy just wants to eat.”

“What are you his chaperone now?” The mean girl looked annoyed by your interference but she was also hesitant to push your buttons.

You approached her and stood dangerously close.

“Just fuck off!” You hissed and she reluctantly walked away, her clique following her immediately.

You grabbed Coryo by the hand and dragged him into an empty classroom nearby.

“Here you can eat your sandwich in peace.”

“T-thank you,” he said quietly, still looking terrified and embarrassed.

You approached him slowly and he started stepping back until he was stopped by an empty desk, he felt it pressing against his rear end and started leaning back as he felt your hot breath mere centimeters from his face.

“Don’t rush to thank me yet. Do you really think I'm done with you already?”

“I-I don't have any money…” Coryo confessed, his face bright red with shame.

You almost couldn't believe how innocent he was. He literally thought you were gonna make him pay for protection as if you were some kind of mob boss.

“I don't need your money, blondie,” you cooed and let your hand wander under his uniform kilt touching him rather inappropriately.

Coryo's mouth flew open as he slowly started to realize what were your true intentions.

It looked like he was trying to say something but words weren't coming out of his mouth, he just stared at you, his big baby blue eyes wide with shock.

You kept palming him for a short moment, then stopped abruptly.

“Of course, I’m not gonna do anything you don't like.”

The loss of contact elicited a soft whine from Coryo's lips.

“No, no, please…” he suddenly regained the ability to speak.

“Please what?” You teased, it was so arousing to see him all bushy and ashamed like that.

“Please continue… I did enjoy that.”

You leaned even closer to him, your lips lingering just near his.

“Okay then,” you whispered, causing his breath to hitch.

You let your lips press against his in what turned into a gentle kiss. You thought of it as pretty chaste, but Coryo almost jumped when he felt your lips on his.

Could it be possible that he hadn't even made out with a girl? The thought alone caused wetness to pool up in your panties.

You gave him a flirtatious smile and started unbuttoning your uniform jacket and shirt, revealing that you were wearing a pristine white bra. Without hesitation you pulled your titties out of the lacy fabric making Coryo gasp at the sight.

“Do you like what you see, Coriolanus?”

“I-I think you can call me Coryo now,” the boy was barely able to get the words out.

“You have beautiful breasts. May I…?”

Instead of an answer you took his hands and placed them on your tits. Coryo started fondling them carefully, his thumbs circling around your nipples, which were getting hard under his touch.

Enjoying his warm and soft hands on your skin you unzipped your uniform pants and let them fall freely on your neat shoes, followed by your panties.

You sat Coryo on the side of the desk and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips, then got his kilt out of the way and slowly lowered yourself on his bulge, letting out a soft moan at the feeling of your naked wet pussy pressing against the raw fabric.

Coryo watched your movements in awe, his eyes widening at the sight of your bare cunt landing just above his aching cock. He wanted to fuck you so badly but you had decided to leave that for later.

You knew his virgin cock wouldn't be able to take it for too long so you started rubbing your dripping cunt against his hard-on slowly grinding your hips back and forth.

Coryo let out a cute little whimper and you echoed it with a moan finally feeling a little relief for your aching pussy.

“So responsive, baby, so hard for me already,” you whispered against his lips before catching them in another kiss. Coryo kept making the cutest sounds that vibrated against your mouth as you kept rubbing yourself on him making circular movements to get some friction for your clit.

The blonde boy moved lower leaving a trail of soft warm kisses down your neck and wrapping his lips around your nipple. He sucked on your titties hungrily as you dug your fingers into his soft blonde curls and tugged on them gently feeling your climax slowly approaching.

You sped up your movements grinding yourself against his rock hard bulge with full intensity feeling your wetness overflowing and staining his red uniform pants. The friction felt so damn good that it brought you over the edge and you threw your head back moaning loudly as you came all over his clothed cock.

You grabbed Coryo's face and kissed him roughly feeling his whole body trembling as he came inside his pants. The boy's mouth fell open and you licked along his lips and tongue as he savored his orgasm, probably the most powerful he had experienced yet. 

After climbing off Coryo's lap you looked at him with a satisfied smirk. The boy's pants were completely messed up, both from his cum and yours, he sat there panting heavily, his face flushed and hair disheveled. He looked so pretty like that.

“Look at all the mess you made,” you mused. “Turns out you're a little whore, Coriolanus Snow.”

Coryo had no arguments to refute that. The shade of red filling his cheeks only got a bit deeper.

“Are we going to do this again?” He asked, looking at you curiously.

You smiled at him and adjusted his kilt, hiding the big wet stains on his pants.

“Of course darling, I’ve still got a lot to teach you after all.”

#thank you for the ask #coriolanus snow #young coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow x you #thg #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #tbosas #thg tbosas #blurb #cts ask

[finniestoncrane]

It's Easy!

Lucy Maclean x Maximus, word count: 1.4k i have never related to a characters straightforward desire to fuck more than lucy maclean, you're my hero girl, keep trying to get your hole at every given moment, even if you have to take it upon yourself to uh... teach your partner how to treat you right... based on that scene from episode 6 which is where most of the dialogue from the intro comes from!! 💛💙 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: inexperienced/experienced, guiding, instructional, premature ejaculation, handjob, goofy losers getting it on my beloved

The harsh lighting was slowly giving Maximus a headache. Lucy, however, seemed to thrive under it. She was used to it, obviously, but he still marvelled at the way she seemed to soak it up, smiling under it's cool, white glow. An infectious smile, one that made her large, brown eyes sparkle like slightly irradiated water. One that pressed into her cheeks, pushing them up and out. One that made him smile back for reasons he wasn't quite sure of.

In fact, there were a lot of things about Lucy that made him smile, and as he ran through the list in his head, he found he had started saying one out loud before he could stop himself.

"You smell good."

There it was. Out in the open. No taking it back, so instead, he kept his eyes trained on the ground, acting as nonchalant as he could.

"Oh?"

With an immediate understanding, Lucy took a relaxed breath inwards before casually proposing an activity to pass the time away during their quarantine.

"Do you wanna have sex?"

That smile again, beaming over at him. With a surprised stutter, Maximus managed to respond.

"Y-you mean use my cock?"

Widening her eyes before looking from side to side, Lucy nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah!"

"I dont know... that weird thing could happen."

Maximus' nervous laugh preceded the statement that had intrigued Lucy to no end.

"What on Earth could he be talking about...? Has something else strange happened up here since... everything?"

Lowering one eyebrow and raising the other, she probed him for an answer.

"What weird thing?"

"Well, it's just... for some guys, and not me,obviously, but, uh... for some guys, you know... when they make it move..."

He gestured to his crotch with his hands, a quick but dramatic glance down to it for emphasis so there was no mistaking what he was talking about.

"... it gets all big an hard like a big pimple and then it pops. And they say it can happen to anybody, but it's still... it's... it's gross."

A knowing smile settled on Lucy's lips, her face blushing at Maximus' misunderstanding, the endearing naiavety he was displaying.

"You know, that's actually completely normal. It happens all the time. Every time, ideally."

With a grimace of disgust, Maximus felt his body moving backwards, as if he were trying to distance himself between himself and the notion that someone would want their cock to pop like that.

"Well, either way... I'm a Knight. Of the Brotherhood. We're... we're not really supposed to-"

"Okey dokey!"

Lucy interrupted him with a shrug and a polite grin, trying to save him from the awkward rejection he was trying to stumble through. But as she began to recline on her gurney on the other side of the small room, she stopped, leaning back on her elbows to listen to Maximus' rushed mumblings.

"Uh... but! B-but I... want to. Maybe? I just... don't know how..."

"Oh! If that's the problem, don't worry. It's easy! I can show you if you want? Teach you the basics at least."

He was a Knight. Well, no he wasn't. Not technically. But as far as Lucy knew... And as a Knight, he could stand to take matters into his own hands for once.

"I... I'd like that."

"Okey dokey, then! Let's do this!"

On that positive, overly optimistic note, Lucy stood up from her gurney and sat down next to Maximus on his. Her hand shifted tentatively to the side, pinky grazing against Maximus warm skin. He didn't respond in kind, instead stiffening up and staying completely still. So Lucy was once again the one to break the tension.

"We can try just kissing first if you'd like? Start off slow, get the basics down."

"Sure."

"Have you ever kissed someone?"

"No... have you?"

Lucy paused for a moment, considering everything she had done so far in life, everything she might do, and everything that had gone on between the first bombs dropped and now. The rules were different above and below ground, and she didn't want to risk offering any information about certain cousins that might make seem strange to someone like Maximus.

Aware that she had been staring wide-eyed into space for longer than necessary, she quickly turned to him.

"Yes, a couple. No one you would know."

His eyes narrowed in response, nose wrinkling up, mouth dropping open in a confused expression as he nodded in obvious agreement. And to prevent him from asking any questions, Lucy leaned into his parted lips and placed her own on them. A tender meeting of their bodies, far beyond polite handshakes, different from the way they had been clinging to each other in weaker moments.

Responding to the beat that his heart skipped and the way his body suddenly flushed with heat, Maximus raised his hand to Lucy's cheek, pulling back quickly with an apology and breaing off their first kiss. His first kiss.

"Oh, that's ok! You're kind of supposed to let nature take its course with this kind of thing. Deep down we all know how it should go... it's in our biology!"

He shrugged, averting his eyes once more, embarrassed to admit it, but confessing anyway.

"I'm still kinda scared... of the... pop."

Ever the dutiful problem solver, Lucy stopped for a moment, humming over potential solutions before beaming bright and excited when she thought she had the perfect one.

"Oh! I can show you what it's like. I'll take charge, and then you'll see it's ok. How does that sound?"

He nodded, slow and stuttered, all of the built up excitement hidden behind the shocked expression he wore. She was so forthcoming, so helpful, and the idea of her touching him did make him feel good. Different, but good. And that feeling was only amplified as Lucy started dragging down the zip at the front of his jumpsuit and dipping her hand beneath the fabric.

Her skin was soft, her palm warm as it glided past his stomach and down to the tuft of unruly black hair above his cock. And then she was touching it. Unafraid, bold and confident in the way she let her fingers trail along the length before settling the flat of her hand against him, semi-erect already and throbbing under her.

Smiling, smug with her effect on him, Lucy could feel his cock stiffening as she wrapped her fingers around it, beginning to stroke the length. As her hand moved up and down, Maximus noticed the way his length, and his whole body in fact, twitched when she reached the bottom and again when she neared his head.

"It's... it's happening isn't it?"

"Yep! But it's ok... totally normal... completely normal... very nice..."

He shifted, not uncomfortably, but awkwardly, as he took in the compliment.

"Feels good, doesn't it?"

Lucy was smiling at him, eyes glinting with something he hadn't really noticed before as she asked the question.

"It... it does..."

"Maybe we can go a bit further then? Give me your hand..."

She took his wrist, steadying his shaking limb, and placed his palm against her breast over the top of her suit. He let his fingers sink in a little, squeezing the soft mound and breathing in deep, shaking breaths. it felt comforting, but it made that coil in his stomach tighten as he felt her chest heaving against him.

"Now... if you think this my hand feels nice, imagine how good it would feel to have it inside my- oh!"

The words weren't particularly sexy, at least not in the cheerful, matter of fact way that Lucy spoke them, but it was enough to send Maximus over the edge. His cock twitched, that threatened moving, swelling, throbbing, his veins pulsing, and then the pop. His orgasm came fast and hard, cum spilling in warm, white ropes over Lucy's hand.

Immediate embarrassment came over him as he tried to clean it up, recoiling at the sticky texture of the liquid that had come from him. But as he looked into Lucy's eyes to show the sincerity of the 'sorry' that he repeated, he saw that she was still smiling. Ever cheerful. A sense of satisfaction about a job well done.

"Good, huh? Next time you'll be able to last a bit longer, I think!"

As Lucy made her way back to her own gurney to lay down, Maximus muttered to himself.

"Next... next time?"

And now he began to smirk. Self-satisfied. Relaxed. Excited for this next time.

#fallout #fallout amazon #finnie writes #fallout fic #fallout tv #fallout tv series #lucy maclean x maximus #lucymax #knight titus #maximus #lucy maclean #fallout lucy #fallout maximus #lucy x maximus

[barn-anon]

Kaeso bends to enter his human's home, is this truly Imperial Fist standards as it is said to be? Appalling. Their Primarch would be ashamed to call them his sons. Then again he supposes it wasn't as if they were planning for a Custodes, only for their fellow Space and Chaos Marines.

He picks up his human's soft huming and is drawn to her, helpless to resist. He's been left behind by his fellow Custodes after he found his human. It does sting, being essentially abandoned by them but could he really bring himself to care? Well... there's the matter of his Master being out there still, waiting for him to return to his side. It tugs at him, gnaws at his mind, digging it's sharp poisoned laced edges into him.

Kaeso would be lying if he said it doesn't bother him. The fact that he thousands of years away from his Master, the pieces of him that were handcrafted to be His, scream at him for his betrayal. He pushes the guilt and shame aside as he sneaks up on his human to hug her tightly.

Kneeling for her felt right. Being at eye level with her felt good. She smiles and it's like coming home, his Master forgotten the moment she touches his cheek. Emperor? Imperium? Custodes? What does it matter? When he has a new person he can devote himself to?

Something within him sings out at his thoughts, praising and drowning him in a giddy dose of blissful contentment. She giggles when he rests more of his weight on her, causing her stumble back against the wall. He coos to her gothic praises, knowing she wouldn't understand them but that doesn't matter. He just wants to say them to her, at her, for her.

Know that he will lay waste to planets if she asks him to, that the same hands that had looped a scarf around her neck has shattered femurs and ripped out spines. That aim that won her a prize at a carnival had also netted him numerous headshots in the name of his Master. He purrs happily when her soft finger tip tap the tip of his nose and she wiggles out of his arms to move to her study.

The Emperor has other Custodes, he has only one human. There's no reason why he can't stay.

Tagged: @kit-williams • @egrets-not-regrets • @bleedingichorhearts

#Kaeso the Custodes #space marine husbandry sentience #space marine husbandry #warhammer 30k

[woso-dreamzzz]

hate exam szn. i was late to the fateful jenni agenda day 🥲

i didn’t even realize the summary for alexia’s version was you come home and so when i read jenni’s summary—you go home—my stomach actually dropped. was like damn shots fired, feeling bad for alexia but yk she made her bed (unknowingly of course… but still)

bambi being strong and weak against alexia and feeling suffocated when she hugged her? calling out to her only to GIVE HER BACK THE TRAIN? spain without the s.

the (sort of) putellas erasure and feeling content at the thought of just being a hermoso actually hurts 😭 i’ve lowkey wanted this outcome the entire series and now that it’s here i’m sobbing. getting the “worst traits” from alexia and thinking she’d have let bambi stay if she were good at football oh my. jenni having always supported bambi’s interest in ballet feels right though. do you think jenni ever posts about it (perhaps not bambi’s face specifically, more so things related to bambi and to ballet) with so much pride and it gets back to alexia like a slap to the face? or even eli/alba visiting in mexico to watch a big recital and eli’s posts are more private so there are just videos on top of videos of bambi dancing—how does alexia react to all of this? alexia makes the decision that jenni’s better for bambi, but do you ever think she hates that fact? does it ever frost her relationship with jenni?

i was also wondering how olga reacts to bambi leaving. does this mean there’s never a true relationship between the two? bambi wouldn’t get a lot of time with alexia so i feel like alexia would inadvertently push olga to the side when bambi’s here. is olga just jaume’s mother? do you think bambi ever reflects on the fact that the addition of olga into bambi’s life was definitely a turning point? (so many questions omg… sorry) does jenni ever speak about olga and alexia in a bitter sense? does alba ever confront olga as well?

i hope that bambi’s a little more expressive of her feelings with jenni in this alternate outcome. the “so’s mine” and no one hears… the guinea pig comment too. bambi i’m getting you out of all the pain you’ve ever endured. i hope that she’s able to (in both outcomes) overcome this fear of speaking up for herself… because she won’t be able to realize that none of this was her fault if she doesn’t express she feels this way 🥲

also: holy shit. the mami never wanted you to you think mami is special to you know she’ll be the best mami in the world to jaume too LASHED ME W SO MUCH PAIN. SPAIN WITHOUT THE S. bambi’s always held alexia to the highest regard and despite her experiences alexia is never hated/despised. this might be a result of unreliable narrating given bambi’s reflection of her family and “how things are” are most definitely influenced by how she feels… but bambi thinking she was lucky alexia loved her ENOUGH to look after her until someone else could. NOT EVEN CARE FOR HER. look after. pain. her reflection of jenni always having loved her cements my feelings towards my internal jenni/alexia debate. (it’s always favoured jenni) of course alexia never meant for this to happen… “this” meaning bambi (from the beginning she’s faced difficulty on if she even wanted to go through with the pregnancy) but also this as in what’s occurred to bambi in general. to me though, alexia had full autonomy to end the pregnancy. she chose to have bambi. to me that signifies consenting to take on the responsibilities of a parent, and alexia failed that. though people make mistakes… this was dragged on and obviously has long-lasting consequences and haunts not just her, but bambi too. jenni’s constant and unwavering love for bambi hopefully will mend this trauma and heal her from the pain she’s been put through at such a young age

honestly after all this, even if i feel for alexia and we see how happy she is to get bambi back… we see more of how affected bambi’s been in this situation—and if we think about it, this is how bambi feels when she’s not forcing herself to accept alexia’s love especially when it feels so foreign. it matters that alexia tried but i think that train being broken was symbolic of her relationship with bambi… even when olga mended it it’d never be enough—it’s broken now and bambi hands back the new train (the one that should’ve been her birthday present) and to me that feels like bambi passing on this sort of responsibility to alexia with regard to jaume. this is a new train (a new child) and bambi wishes for alexia to take care of it and not break it the way she broke bambi.

still crying though. i love this series. thank you for always choosing the most painful words and sharing such a nuanced story <3 sorry for all the long rambles! there should probably be a feature to hide my asks bc i feel like it must be annoying have to scroll through it if you don’t want to read it 😭 you are the best though and everything you write is always a pleasure to read <33333

ps. princesse’s “mapi who doesn’t play football” HC is my most favourite. mapi’s the most supportive tattoo-acquiring, stray cat feeding girlfriend in the world and ingrid deserves nothing less

another ps. the first time i met my youngest sibling i lifted the blanket and got punched in the nose too. cub i love u <3

Long anon! I missed you! 😘

Bambi giving Alexia back the train was being planned for so long. It was always going to happen. It was just a matter of time that I put it in somewhere.

Jenni definitely posts about Bambi. She's such a proud Mama. She's careful with it though. None of the pics on her actual account fully show Bambi's face but she'll show Bambi's face on her story. There's countless photos of Bambi showing off her new ballet shoes (and then her pointe shoes when she's old enough to have them) and there's so many of the back of Bambi's head surrounded by her trains.

Eli definitely has more freedom in posting about Bambi because her account is private. She adores Bambi and practically all of her recitals end up on Eli's account, where Alexia usually gets her unfiltered information about Bambi from.

Olga and Bambi only really have a foundation of a relationship, the one that was made in the hospital, and it kind of stays that way. It develops a little bit as Bambi gets older but not much. Olga is mainly Jaume's mama and Alexia's partner. As Bambi grows up, she definitely comes to understand that her life changed the day that Alexia and Olga sat her down to talk about giving her a sibling.

Jenni doesn't really like to talk about Alexia and Olga to Bambi. She doesn't want to remind Bambi of them because she knows she's going to bitter about them so she just doesn't talk about them. Alba doesn't really confront Olga about anything. Her main job was getting Bambi out of that situation and she's done that now. She does keep a careful watch for the same warning signs for Jaume just in case.

Also about the train symbolism. The Bambi Train was ceramic. It looks strong but it's actually so fragile (Alexia dropped it and it completely shattered) while the Jaume Train is a proper model train. It's actually strong and if someone drops it, there's not going to be a lot of damage. It kind of signifies Alexia as a parent. She got a lot wrong with Bambi and she knows that but in the end, she ended up shattering the train (she broke their relationship). But with Jaume's train (and his and Alexia's relationship now and in the future) has stronger foundations and can take a few mistakes along the way without ruining it. Alexia has changed as a parent and giving Bambi to Jenni makes her want to be the best parent she can be to Jaume so neither of her kids have to suffer again.

I love reading your long rambles and I was so excited this morning to wake up and see you in my inbox again! I've got a few more parts of Injured stocked up with the first appearance of teen!Bambi that I'm so excited about!

#asks #bambi #long anon

[sanjuwrites]

wip wednesday

and she's back with a bang! sorry y'all, finals and chronic illness are kicking my ass, but i am offering up everything i have managed to write in apology <3

thanks to @welcometololaland, @honeybee-taskforce, @sznofthesticks, @paperstorm, @alrightbuckaroo, @carlos-in-glasses, and @theghostofashton for tagging me!

now that i have you - tarlos

His eyes close involuntarily, and he’s thrown back to that night three years ago. 

The press of Carlos’s mouth against his inner thigh makes TK moan, arm thrown over his eyes. “Jesus, Carlos, are you trying to kill me?”

Carlos kisses a path up TK’s chest, pressing a kiss to his neck, “Just the opposite, actually. I’ve never felt more alive, TK, maybe it’s time you get with the program.”

TK melts into the mattress, letting the arousal and heat crawling up his spine take over. 

They’ll discuss this in the morning. 

TK woke up to a cold mattress, an empty apartment, and a broken heart. 

Carlos never brought up that night, and TK never pushed. 

It was easier to have this part of Carlos, rather than none of him. That’s what he told himself every time he saw Carlos with another man.

[redacted] - firstprince

And Alex – his beautiful, bright, sunshine Alex – wraps his hand around the mic, pulling it out of the stand and walking to the end of the stage, leaning into the crowd at the front of the pit. “Good evening, Los Angeles! Are we having fun tonight?” 

The crowd screams uproariously, and Alex laughs, throwing his head back. Henry’s lost to the magic of it all, watching magnetically as he tracks every movement Alex makes. Alex folds down onto the edge of the stage gracefully, swinging his legs back and forth, “Okay, so as most of you know, it’s usually this part of the set that I usually sing a song or two from [EP name] but I’m doing something a little different tonight!” 

Right on cue, Liam hits the opening notes of a song on his guitar, and Spencer follows on his drums. It takes Henry, as well as everyone else, a moment, but quickly, the crowd starts screaming again. 

My friends call me a loser

'Cause I'm still hanging around

Henry knows that no one, save for Bea, June, Nora and Pez know about the two of them, but Henry feels like he might as well skywrite the fact that they’re hooking up across LA. 

You said, "Baby, no attachment"

But we're

Knee deep in the passenger seat and you're eating me out

Is it casual now?

And Henry’s thrown back to that time where the two of them, quite recklessly, blew each other in the backseat of his town car as Henry took Alex back to the airstrip to send him off to his next tour stop. He thought it was just sex to Alex, didn’t – couldn’t – dare hope it was anything more. 

But, Henry thinks faintly as he watches June and Nora swap looks across him, they’re well past casual now. Alex is basically screaming it at him.

i'm not sure who's done this yet, so i'm going to tag @bonheur-cafe, @heartstringsduet, @liminalmemories21, @fallout-mars, and @lightningboltreader!

#sanjuwrites #tarlos #firstprince #911 lonestar #rwrb

[lastnightonthecyclone]

Another fucking wip on fnaf because inconsistency is my skill

#In my au the crying child kind of accidentally helped kill Charlie lol. He pushed her outside and locked her in the rain. Tee hee #And THEN. He went to go check on her because he felt a little bad since Sammy was going ballistic #and accidentally witnessed the last bits of his dad murdering Charlie. He then hides and was going to wait for his dad to leave but #Since OBVIOUSLY will needs to dispose of evidence he was going to stay there. So he kind of. Went over to his dad and they had a mutual agr #Will in return started treating him “better” and also stopped using him for experiments (as much) and instead tried doing remanent stuff #And then Mike and Elizabeth got kind of envious (this was also their father subconsciously pitting all three against eachother ) #so then they started to bully cc #Sammy comes into play because he also kind of helped cc push Charlie outside because Charlie was deemed “the favorite” and Henry truly #Never bothered to try and care for Sammy. This is not saying he treated Charlie good either #but. He treated her VISIBLY better than Sammy #and Sammy looked up to William (this is actually kind of relevant and is the reason why security breach and help wanted exist because… #Sammy saw William and his work as amazing and even when he figured out he used actual children for his stuff he continued it needlessly. #He usually spent more time in the Afton household than his own which is. Quite sad. William actually thought of him as the perfect nephew/ #Apprentice and taught him in his ways. He’s as old as Micheal #and also the Freddy bully. (I’m figuring out how to not make him white #Oh. Right #also cc was friends with sam #(the one u shouldn’t have killed) and she has two siblings #Why is this relevant. WELL. BUDDY. So the Bonnie bully is in fact Jeremy.F #he has an older sister named Ximena. She worked at Fredbear’s diner and then circus baby’s pizza world #and Jeremy was friends with Micheal AND SAMMY. eventually after Will murdered the og kids #Jeremy was tasked with distracting Mike. #Their younger half sibling is Sammy. Jeremy is also later tasked by William to distract Micheal in any means possible from what Will is doi #Ximena’s life was essentially theatened and in order for will to ensure the animatronics don’t target her Jeremy was forced to distract mik #Even though he was still grieving for his sister and grappling guilt over cc. Mike also was somewhat mean to him sometimes and Jeremy a #Babysat Elizabeth sometimes. By distraction William never clarified so Jeremy kind of went for a romantic ish approach. He’d constantly tak #There’s more but I don’t want to explain 😭 #Mike out from his house

[hussyknee]

Can't imagine ever feeling bad about being single when Reddit exists. Today in cis het men are hot garbage.

Tw for traumatic childbirth, medical trauma, coercion, gaslighting and medical abuse and fucking troglodyte manchild of a husband. Jesus fucking Christ.

#the fact that people are made to push their babies out while flat on their backs will never not be appalling to me #the natural birth position is squatting or on all fours #what the fuck is wrong with western medicine #if i ever have a baby I'd be torn between having it at home with a midwife‚ which honestly feels less scary‚ #or a hospital where i can get an epidural because i am really pain averse #my doctor friend says she tries to discourage epidurals because in her experience something always ends up going wrong #the pain is supposed to be a signifier of what to do #and how and when to push #it's unlikely to be a problem for me bc i'm divorced ace disabled and poor #i can't imagine being able to afford a child even though i really want one #still. the patient is the expert on their own body. this rule should be iron clad when it comes to pregnancy and birthing #i think being against cis male gynaecologists is too radfem but then stuff like this happens #obviously cis female gynos and nurses can also be horrible but this kind of numbskullery might be not as common #cis het men are a goddamn plague jfc #knee of huss #r/relationships #reddit