#but the fun fact i also make emails for living... how ironic right
The Geraskier dark academia AU of my dreams (because writing these up keeps me sane; TLDR at the bottom because this escalated):
-Jaskier is so ready for college. Like, the readiest he's ever been for anything in his life. He couldn't wait to get out of his stuffy family home, away from his narrow-minded hometown, he is ready. He signs up for a Liberal Arts major, moves into a dorm, drinks his brains away during the first week. He makes an archnemesis, he makes friends, he live-documents the whole affair on Snapchat for his friend Triss who lives across the country, but is always with him in spirit. Life is good.
-Jaskier doesn't think twice when his roommate Zoltan invites him to come along to a party at the Kaer Morhen fraternity house because hello? Orientation week was last month, high time he goes to an actual frat party full of guys like wardrobes that eminate sexual self-assuredness and hopefully some sexual flexibility as well. He puts on his most revealing shirt and too tight jeans and joins Zoltan. The fraternity house is old, red-brick with sandstone pillars and iron-wrought gates which would seem rusty if not for the ivy that curls around them. It's chock-full with people of every kind of major and age, most of them drunk beyond reason by the time Jaskier and Zoltan arrive. Zoltan disappears in a tangle of rugby-players and leaves Jaskier to his own devices. He befriends a group of Archeology majors, their leader being a cute blond called Filavandrel, and they share a bottle of red wine, round and round. He meets his archnemesis, the one he spent all orientation week bickering about music with, Valdo or some nonsense, and they do tequila shots. It’s a nice party and Jaskier has the time of his life until he returns from the bathroom to find a god of a guy standing in the hallway.
-"Oh hello," Jaskier mutters under his breath. Before, his evening was aimless, he let the wave of the vibe take him wherever, let the alcohol blur the world around him. But now, he has an objective. And that objective stands all by his lonesome, scowling down the hallway. Man, does he brood well. Jaskier usually goes for people that are easy to read if some casual fun is what he has in mind -and it's not out of his mind just yet - but this guy intrigues him; there is more to him than simple dudebro-ness. He has shock-grey hair and startling amber eyes and seems to cast the longest shadow. Jaskier wants to ride him. Jaskier also wants to serenade him on a starlit wooden bridge and collect all the guy's deepest secrets and desires to keep under his pillow and draw divine inspiration from. Okay, that may be the Tequila shots talking. He scurries over to the bar, downs another two, then approaches the guy.
-"Hi," Jaskier says as he sidles up to him. The guy half-heartedly raises his beer in greeting. Taciturn, dark, dramatic. Jaskier decides to go for it. "I absolutely adore the way you just stand here and brood." (Jaskier will only learn much much later that he accidentally used some weird Kaer Morhen frat code and set off a chain of events that changed his life forever). "Lamb," the guy calls out instead of answering, something that makes Jaskier think he's so far gone that he's actively hallucinating. But no, seconds later a guy with equally lush red hair and equally thick arms appears from the crowd. He wears a scowl which has Jaskier's throat tighten. "What is it, Wolf?" Wolf, huh? "Go collect Goat and Kitty-Cat. I found him." And Wolf-Guy grabs Jaskier by the back of the neck and hauls him through a door, down some stairs - is that marble? are those torches? GARGOYLES? - and into pitch blackness. Jaskier squeals. This is what he imagined when he dreamt of college. Well not exactly this, but close enough.
-They bind him with silk scarfs and put a blindfold over his eyes which, okay. Jaskier knows he shouldn't find this as sexy as he does, but he can't help it. He has no sense of self-preservation and this will just be the best of fuel for the first assignment in his screenwriting class. "Oh, this is fun," he murmurs when someone tugs off his boots and someone else smears a fatty paste onto his lips. It smells like... okay it smells lot like his uncle Matthew's pigsty. Weirdly disgusting. "Who are you guys anyway?"
-They don't speak at all that night, don't take off the blind-fold until way later. All night, Jaskier can hear them rustling around him, chanting in some language he doesn't understand. They give him several drinks, most of which honestly taste like asphalt, but make his insides go fuzzy. When the blindfold comes off eventually, Jaskier finds himself on the front-seat of a pick up truck, Wolf guy behind the wheel. They are parked behind the frat house. "Look, I don't think you're a suitable candidate. The guys all said they want to keep you, but my friend recognized you from the freshman introduction party and we usually only inaugurate sophomores." Jaskier blinks. He has absolutely no idea what's going in anymore. His friend Triss is probably worried sick because he hasn't checked in all evening. The faint taste of burned rubber clings to his lips and all Jaskier can think is: Fuck, is this man hot. "Go out with me," he blurts. "Go out with me, I'll show you how suitable I am."
-Over the course of a month's worth of introductions, preparation and inauguration traditions (which, among other things, have him dropped butt-naked in the middle of the forest, requiring him to find his way back to campus; have him spend more time learning long-dead languages than he is comfortbale with; have him getting thoroughly intimate with Eskel's (Goat) helper syndrome, Lambert (Lamb) and Aiden's (Kitty-Cat) ostentatiously loud fucking, Coen's (Hawk) frequent absences and Geralt's (Wolf) quiet, but passionate idealism) Jaskier learns the truth at the core of Kaer Morhen. It is more than a fraternity, it is a brotherhood of students that spend their free time in rituals to protect the college, its city, likely even the whole state from supernatural creatures that threaten to cross over into the world. The existence of these is no surprise to Jaskier who's come out of an adolescence of escapism and coping through fiction and song, but the fact that there are handsome tough guys who work to banish him is too much of a dream to be true. It is true. Unofficially, the call themselves Witchers. They catch wraiths in cricles of runes, they re-direct necrophages into Kaer Morhen's basement and slay them with blades of silver. They brew potions and cast minor spells to get rid of mutated insectoids. And Jaskier is to be one of them. They call him Lark.
-His first ritual goes bat-shit wrong. Jaskier is reasonably sure he did everything right, but the wraith doesn't stay contained after they bound it . "Fuck," Geralt growns after, pressing a cloth to the gaping wound in Jaskier's shoulder while they wait for Eskel to whip out the first aid kit. Jaskier shudders, can taste blood. "There shouldn't be fireflies here, right?" - "Ah, nope," Lambert says. He keeps snapping his fingers before Jaskier's eyes. "Hey, Lark, stay with us, okay?" - "He's fine," Aiden says, inspecting his nails. "If anything, it's Geralt we should be worried about. He's about to have a full blown panic attack." Geralt grunts and holds Jaskier closer.
-"Does this mean I can ask Priscilla to let me copy her homework," Jaskier asks later. He's in bed, bundled up in one of Kaer Morhen's bedrooms. Portraits of alumni line the wall and a hearth crackles away. Geralt sits next to the bed, a pretense-book on his lap. His eyes bore into Jaskier, wide, haunted. "Jask," he breathes out shakily. - "Hello, big guy. How are we doing?" - "Better now that you're awake. We... we had to call in Vesemir. He will want to talk to you." - "Alright, okay," Jaskier says. He knows who Vesemir is of course, but he has no idea what exactly his job entails or what having to talk to him means. "Geralt?" - "Hmm?" - "What did I do wrong?" - "Nothing. You were uncharacteristically precise... but it turns out I was right all along. You're not suited for this kind of work." - "Because I'm not big and buff like all of you?" Jaskier asks, pouting. Geralt has the audacity to laugh. But he also takes Jaskier's hands and kisses his knuckles and huh? What? Jaskier's brain short-circuits. Fuck when did he fall so hard for Geralt? "No, Jask, you're perfect. I mean, uh, ah, perfectly annoying." That bastard. "The wraith went crazy because it turns out you're an amplifier. That means supernatural creatures are pulled to you and can draw from you to manifest easier in our world. You wouldn't have noticed this unless you ever passed by a spot where the spheres overlap significantly. As it is, your participation in the ritual poses a danger." - "TLDR: I'm fired?" - "That's for Vesemir to decide... truth be told, I don't want you to go. But I can't stand the thought of you being in danger. Because of me, this." - "Go out with me, Geralt. Please. One coffee," Jaskier practically begs. Yes, his shoulder is minced meat and he feels exhausted from the blood loss but Geralt has never been this open and honest with him. "...fine."
-Jaskier heals up under the diligent care of his friends. Priscilla is allowed over too, practically drags him though his classes with tutoring and copies of her homework and sugar-coated emails to his various professors. Triss video-calls him three times a day. Eskel's med school expertise leaves Jaskier with the most neat scar he is ever going to get out of this, Lambert and Aiden hang out to play Gwent with him, a strange card game they invented and custom-painted, Coën even pops in to bring Jaskier his guitar and a venti Matcha Tea Latte even though the nearest Starbucks is miles away. Geralt... Geralt is there almost all the way. He sleeps in the chair at first, then - on Jaskier's stern insistence - in the bed with him, though careful to keep his distance. He helps Jaskier into the shower, something so strangely intimate without feeling innately sexual, he takes him out on slow walks. Geralt doesn't talk much, but Jaskier knows he feels responsible. It's fine. Sure. Absolutely fine. Jaskier is so far gone for this man by the time he moves back into his own dorm that he considers getting injured again just to have Geralt by his side. They never do go out for coffee.
-Vesemir doesn't so much invite Jaskier as have him called out of his choir session by a girl about Jaskier's age. She has the same hair color as Geralt and Jaskier thinks he's seen her around Kaer Morhen's bigger parties. "Hello, Jaskier," she says sweetly, but one look at her tells Jaskier she's deadlier than any of the frat boys. If his drunk memory serves correctly she also does a phenomenal keg stand. "Ves sends me to collect you." Which has Jaskier even more impressed with her. None of the boys dare to call him anything but Vesemir or Sir, even when he's not around. - "I've been expecting this," Jaskier says, shouldering his bag. The girl laughs and grabs his arm to guide him out of the building and across campus. - "You are cute," she says. "Geralt said so, but I thought that was just because he's so infatuated with you. I'm Ciri, by the way, his younger sister." Infatuated, huh? Jaskier has just enough brainspace left to save her name. Ciri. They will have to become very good friends. Infatuated.
-It turns out, Vesemir isn't half as scary as the boys made him out to be. He's closer to sixty than fifty, has a stern face, but a kindly voice and the first thing he does after dismissing Ciri with a meaningful glance is offer Jaskier a glass of whiskey. Jaskier sneaks a photograph of the bottle's label when Vesemir stands at the window and glances down at the campus, hands clasped behind his back. Triss will never believe this. It's the sort of alcohol that exists only in myth, at least to college students. "So, Mr. Pankratz. I'm afraid apologies are in order." - "Please, I prefer Jaskier." - "I know," Vesemir says and turns. "I would kindly ask you to delete that picture, my office and its contents fall under the terms of the non-disclosure agreement you signed when entering our brotherhood." Jaskier gulps heavily, the whiskey suddenly sour on his tongue. But he's quick to paste over a smile. He's gotten this far with the mysterious Kaer Morhen fraternity, he can pull all the way through. He deletes the picture. "Good," Vesemir says. "Now down to business." Vesemir gives him two options. Jaskier can consult a local magical artisan and have his memories of Kaer Morhen's true purpose removed. It is an easy procedure, won't cost him anything. Except for his new-found friends and the love he feels for Geralt. Except for the only place he's ever truly felt at home. Jaskier chooses the latter option which is to become the fraternity's chronicler.
-After that, things are supposed to calm down and they do, for a bit. Geralt still dodges any and all attempts Jaskier makes at flirting even though it's evident his resolve is thinning out. Jaskier observes and documents the rituals, begins to collect old notebooks. He's planning to go above and beyond his job and compile a comprehensive history of Kaer Morhen and its members before he's graduated. He may not be able to partake in the rituals or help the guys protect this city from monsters, but he can play his part. Leave behind a legacy.
-Between that and his normal studies, hanging out with his theater group, meeting Triss on alternate weekends and throwing epic frat parties, all of Jaskier's time is consumed. There are several instances in which Geralt and him almost manage to have their coffee, but then they have Eskel on the phone because Lambert and Aiden managed to give themselves poisoning over a simple Endrega job, or Priscilla needs an emergency stand-in for her weekly performances at a local bar, or Jaskier is simply too tired and falls into bed, sleeping over Zoltan's aggressive snoring. Jaskier doesn't mind so much. They catch glimpses of intimacy, Geralt's hand on the small of his back as he guides him downstairs for another ritual, a good night kiss on the cheeks once it's done, a spot of quiet homework-doing in Kaer Morhen's common room together, their legs pressed close under the table. One of these days, Jaskier will find the courage to close the last bridge between them. He just wants to wait until Geralt seems absolutely comfortable with it.
-All is as well as can be until Vesemir comes up with an idea. Because more and more creatures have been getting through and they are unable to hold off all, he wants to capture one of them, an Archgriffin, to bind in their world and act as guardian against lesser creatures. "You're mad," Aiden says. "That's fucking brilliant." - "It's a good idea," Eskel and Coën agree. Lambert keeps exchanging grim glances with Geralt because they both know what this means. They will have to use Jaskier to lure the beast. Which is why they both protest the idea heavily and Geralt gets into a fight with Vesemir. Jaskier is not there for it, but Aiden and Lambert tell him later, once he's back from theatre rehearsal. He watches them fight over it too and then it's only him and Lambert. Jaskier steals one of Zoltan's bottles of spirits and they get stupidly drunk, wandering around campus all night until Eskel collects them and tucks them into bed at Kaer Morhen. "I will not stand to lose you," Lambert slurs, arm dragged over Jaskier's chest. "You're like, almost my best friend. Plus, Wolf would be devastated." - "Aiden seems to think it'll be fine," Jaskier says, snuggling up to Lambert. - "Yeah, fuck him." They fall asleep like that and the first thing Geralt does when he finds them is kick Lambert all the way down the stairs.
-In the end, Geralt and Lambert are outvoted, not that they can stop Vesemir. Geralt is more silent than usual throughout prep and Jaskier can't seem to cheer him up. He knows his life is likely on the line, but he wants to help so badly. These guys are his family after all. If he can make their lives a little easier by doing this... well, he wants to. He needs to. Being in Kaer Morhen is the first time he seems to have a purpose other than writing angsty teenage songs. Eskel keeps checking up on him. Vesemir writes preliminary excuses for all Jaskier's exams which leave him with only A's, something Priscilla does not appreciate in the slightest. Lambert and Aiden fight and fight and won't stop fighting over this whole affair until Jaskier sits them down and makes them talk. Geralt... remains quiet. Jaskier can tell he doesn't sleep. Can tell he rarely eats. He decides now is as good a time as ever.
-It's the night before and the others have all returned to their dorms, but Jaskier stayed in Kaer Morhen under the pretext of Zoltan having his girlfriend over, and Geralt rarely ever goes home. He has a flat off campus, but Jaskier suspects it's drab and lonely. He gets it. Kaer Morhen has soft fluffly beds and fire places and wards and books. Currently, it has the two of them, bundled up in one of the upstairs rooms. They share an armchair before a low fire, not an unusual sight for them, not anymore. And still, Geralt pretends they're just friends. It's ridiculous. "You know I'll be fine, right?" Jaskier says. He has his head tucked under Geralt's chin and has been humming show tunes under his breath for the last half hour, something that usually puts Geralt right to sleep. Not so now. "I can't know that," Geralt replies. He lifts Jaskier's hand which he's been holding and traces the veins on the back of it with his thumb. "You've no idea how dangerous the ritual is. Even more so with you being an amplifier." - "So protect me." - "I will. I promise, I will." - "Geralt, when are you going to finally give in?" Jaskier sighs and pulls back a little. Geralt stares at him, a little cross-eyed and Jaskier gives a shaky laugh. "I'm going to kiss you now. Pull back if you don't want to, but allow it and I'll never let you go." Geralt allows it, kisses back. It's the first night they indulge in a love that has been growing for almost a year and it's gloriously sweet, blazing, beautiful. It leaves Jaskier with faith that, even if things go sideways, Geralt will get them both out of it alive.
-The ritual goes well thanks to the Witchers' meticulous preparations, the dozen or so warding spells they put on Jaskier and Geralt's reflexes that save him from a swipe of the Griffin's claw. They bind the creature to one of the basement holding cells and celebrate with excessive amoutns of vodka and cake. "All is well that ends well, huh?" Jaskier asks from where he sits on Geralt's lap. Strong arms hold him and his chest is full of nightingales that flutter and sing. He watches Eskel drunkenly dance-offing with Coen in a corner, watches Lambert and Aiden make out in another. Vesemir took off, but Ciri is there, lounging next to them on the couch, nose buried in her phone. "I will never put you through such danger again," Geralt grunts, his nose buried in Jaskier's hair. "Of course, love." Jaskier relaxes into the embrace. All is well, though it is not nearly the end of this story.
-TLDR: Kaer Morhen is an occultist fraternity that keeps supernatural beings away from campus. Jaskier, unable to participate in the actual rituals due to a genetic predisposition, becomes their chronicler. Geralt worries a lot. Jaskier tries for the longest time to get him to go on a coffee date or something. Lambert and Aiden are a disaster couple. Eskel keeps them all together, literally and figuratively. Ciri is the one who got all the brain cells.
111 notes
·
View notes
Did someone ask for fluff?!?!
How about some brothers bonding (Sandy, Pigsy and Wukong) with 1 and 9?
YEAH brother bonding time! This also has a follow up fill here because I like adding a dash of angst with my fluff (and then finishing it up with even more fluff) and I had two ideas that were similar enough I wanted to keep the flow going. They both ended up rather long as well.
Do not give me that look./ How long have you been standing there?
It was odd to have company on Mount Huaguo again. Not “Xiaotian over for training” company but “oh actual guests and more than one oh boy hope I can handle this many people” company. A “three day bonding trip” Xiaotian had called it, time for them to get reacquainted with each other. The fact it was two people who he had initially believed to have moved on with their lives to the point of reincarnating... made it even more odd.
But Sun Wukong would admit, though he had not recognized them at first due to how much they had changed, it was nice to see Zhu Bajie and Sha Wujing again. Or, rather, Pigsy and Sandy. That’s what they went by now. New names to go with their new lives.
The first day he kept staring at them, afraid they would disappear now that everything was out on the table. Their anger at his disappearance, his assumption they had left him behind when he heard they had left their positions, his reasoning for leaving so long in the first place. Everything had come out when Pigsy had cornered him the day he chanced coming by the shop when Xiaotian hadn’t shown up for training (turned out he was sick and had forgotten to inform him) via email. He was pissed that Wukong hadn’t said a word to either of his younger brothers at the Lunar New Year festival and had just run off again.
He’d only stopped yelling when he realized that the monkey’s face had starting streaks of angry tears from holding himself back and the way his face fell when Wukong responded “I like pranks but pretending to be my dead brother isn’t funny” was more than telling enough. Telling enough that Wukong realized it wasn’t a cruel prank. His “you thought I was dead Wukong?” pushed him over the edge and those angry tears became “soul crushing disappointment and relief” tears because his brother, no both of his brothers were alive and he had wasted so much time mourning them when they were right here the whole time.
It was very awkward. Especially when Wukong couldn't stop himself from grabbing Pigsy and holding onto him.
But that was then. And again when he saw Sandy. But that was then! This was now. Now was bonding time. Now was the last night of this trip and it was such a far cry from the first day.
The first day, again, was awkward and tense before the few immortal monkeys he had managed to scratch out the names of in his one trip to... well, he didn’t want to think about that, had recognized Pigsy and flocked to him. The first night had him showing them how he had been living and them telling him of their exploits in becoming normal modern day citizens. He listened intently, asking questions when his curiosity couldn’t wait but otherwise holding himself back with great self control and focus. The second day they talked and talked and played games with the monkeys and Wukong showed them how he cared for them (and if he was right he saw soft glimpses from both of them in his direction and a thwap and laugh from Sandy after Pigsy heard him say “you’re both dads now that’s something you have in common”) and Sandy showed him how his boats work and introduced them to all of his cats on his houseboat (there were many and Wukong immediately loved all of them)
While that first night they had just eaten basic food Sandy and Pigsy had brought, that second night he had decided to show him his own cooking. He’d only been cooking for a years, since he had started his search for a successor and tempted a taste of some food at a festival that he happened upon, and he was nervous. Pigsy had always been very eager to eat anything before but even then he would judge the food with a shockingly insightful pallet. Wukong worried that his attempts at adding extra seasoning on their dishes had gone overboard since they overwhelmed him too much to try them.
Pigsy’s “You’ve only been cookin for a year? This is really good!” put all his worries aside. Ironically he had still under-seasoned his dishes, but the fresh vegetables he had used were such high quality that Pigsy assured him they more than made up for it.
Now was when he watched Pigsy show him how to prepare fresh homemade noodles in his own kitchen as Sandy regaled them with stories of the stuff the cats got into as he prepared fresh tea.
It was better than he ever hoped for.
"So Pigsy was stuck there for 3 hours?” Wukong laughed, grabbing the baby monkey that was about to leap off his shoulder before they could careen into Pigsy. “No, no jumping on guests!” He laughed, gently running his fingers through their fur before letting them leap out of the kitchen and back into the living room where the others watched TV (a livestream of kittens Sandy had put on, they absolutely adored it). He looked over at the chef with a smirk. “And here I thought you had a temper.”
“Do not give me that look,” Pigsy said with a warning tone, but Wukong could not tell it was almost all bark and playful to boot. “I’m the one making you a separate pot of soup so your tongue doesn’t hate you for trying to eat too much pepper.”
“And I thank you for that, younger brother,” Wukong said with a smile that Pigsy returned after a moment. It was odd, still, saying that again. But it felt good.
“Elder brothers,” Sandy chimed in, and that was odd and good as well, placing the dinner ware and fresh pot of tea on the table. “Everything is ready!” Mo meowed on his shoulder, a content purr sounding from the cat who looked a lot like his owner.
“Perfect timing! The soup’s just done too,” Pigsy announced as he grabbed Wukong’s smaller pot and carried it to the table. “Lemme ju-”
“I’ve got it,” Wukong said as he grabbed the larger pot effortlessly and placed it beside his own, closer to his brothers. “I can’t make you both do all the work now can I?”
“Not what you would have said 1 month into our journey together,” Pigsy playfully ribbed, earning a mock offended gasp from the monkey.
“I have you know I was a very different person back then, why I would have almost offered to do it 8 years in I bet!” Wukong joked, earning good natured laughs from his brothers as they all helped themselves to the amazing meal. Even as under seasoned as Pigsy had to make his own helping Wukong could only describe the taste as “nearly divine”.
This was... amazing. Nearly perfect, even.
“Sound like you’re all having fun!” Xiaotian’s voice suddenly rang out, scaring the three into jumping in their seats. Wukong had become so content and comfortable in his brother’s presence that he hadn’t even realized they now had two more guests. Tang stood beside his student, holding back laughter as he looked at Pigsy specifically.
“Geeze, kid, you nearly scared me to death!” Wukong said as he took exaggerated breaths. “And I’m immortal!”
“How long have you been standing there?” Pigsy questioned as he relaxed, sending a slight glare over his shoulder to a now laughing Wukong.
“Long enough to hear you having fun,” Tang answered with a laugh, sitting down next to Pigsy and picking up one of the extra bowls to ladle himself a portion of soup once Pigsy nodded his ok.
Xiaotian took a seat next to Wukong, smiling as he grabbed his own bowl. “We just wanted to see how things were going and since I have training tomorrow we thought maybe we could stay the night?"
"Tang too?" Wukong asked with a raised brow.
"I didn't want him to feel left out with Xiaojiao training for her next race," Xiaotian explained with a chuckle and a shrug. It was sweet, the way he wanted everyone to feel included now... but Wukong had a sneaking suspicion he brought Tang so he would also have some time with the Monkey King since he was, you know, Tang’s hero apparently.
“The more the merrier, then!" Wukong said as he leaned back and sipped the broth left in his bowl, eyes closed as he savored the rich flavor. “You were right, by the way, this was a great idea. Everything’s been perfect so far.”
He was so engrossed in his meal that he missed how Xiaotian tensed beside him.
45 notes
·
View notes
:0 could I have a beel,asmo,belphie,lucifer,mammon, satan (not including levi) and diavolo playing videogames? I thought it would be kinda funny since they're all really old- except for levi of course haha
Ohhh this should be fun!
Decided to do individual HCs for this one instead of a group thing so they wouldn’t be limited to multiplayer games.
Most of them, save for a certain prince, have been exposed to games a fair amount by proximity to Levi.
---
Lucifer:
Lucifer has a Mononoke Land account so that he’ll get the email notifications for events and can therefore keep track of Levi’s whereabouts. He’s never played the game, though, nor downloaded the app, and he has no intention of doing so.
In general, he’s not much of a gamer. The most gaming he gets done is minesweeper on Windows XP. He doesn’t have the time, and it was never something he could get into.
That isn’t to say that he owns zero games, though. His favorite genre is turn-based strategy, because he can afford to look away from them, and they make him think and plan.
He doesn’t like the hyper-realistic ones, though. Things like Civilization and Here Be Dragons are up his alley, Hearts of Iron not so much.
He doesn’t care too much about the story, but a good soundtrack is mandatory.
Also he’s an old man so the controls also have to be intuitive or he just won’t be able to play. Why is he jumping when he presses A he thought that was the attack button.
The type of player who needs to get every achievement. A completionist.
When the group gets together for the rare multiplayer night, he has no idea what he’s doing and yet still manages to do well. It’s kind of infuriating.
He won’t make alliances with anyone, no, it’s every man for himself. He also actively targets Mammon no matter what game they’re playing.
The fact that he doesn’t really get it protects his pride when Levi inevitably wipes the floor with him.
Mammon:
Mammon actually does game a little bit in his spare time, mostly with Levi. He’s got a couple consoles and is more open to different genres than Lucifer is.
He thrives in any game where the main goal is to rack up as many points or as much profit as possible. He’s undefeated in tycoons and pinball. (Tetris is an exception; he’s terrible at Tetris. Stupid spacial recognition.)
The RNG elements boil down to his insane luck, but he’s actually very smart when it comes to investments and stuff, so it’s not like he’s only using his luck to get by.
If the games have multiplayer, even better! Nothing like kicking Levi, MC and Belphie’s asses in a game of Fortune Street!
He also tends to like the action-focused games that Levi plays. Not so much into turn-based RPGs, but he enjoys stuff where the enemies spawn, like in Zelda or Rune Factory. And he’s great at button mashing in fighting games, although Levi, who actually knows how to play them, always beats him.
Mammon uses items as soon as he gets them, and is too busy rushing a boss to care about learning its patterns and strategizing.
Skips cutscenes even on his first run. Levi and Satan hate him for it.
Like mentioned before, he gets an unfair disadvantage in game nights because everyone targets him. Especially in those games with RNG, because otherwise he WILL win.
He’s banned from PTW games because he will indeed PTW.
Satan:
Satan is another one who doesn’t play too many games, and that might be for the best because he’s a nightmare to play with.
The sorest loser, and a pretty nasty winner too. He insists on the hardest difficulty and then rage quits at the slightest inconvenience.
He will play when prompted, though; he’s not above hanging out with his brothers. His favorite sorts of games are ones with a good story and/or good puzzles. His planning is more on the tactics side, as opposed to Lucifer’s strategy, so he would love Fire Emblem.
He WILL drop a game if the story isn’t holding his attention, and he’s done so in the past.
Overly cautious and hoards resources. He takes the safe route every time.
Also another completionist.
Beel would often ask Satan to help him find out which art pieces were originals and safe to buy in Animal Crossing, and Satan got a little bit interested and ended up making a resident on Beel’s cartridge so the donations could be in his name. He went on a mini-campaign to drive out the residents he didn’t like, but one of them turned out to be Beel's favorite and he felt terrible about it for weeks.
During family game nights, everyone is always torn between appeasing Satan and telling him to deal with it when he loses.
He also gets angry if he catches on to the fact that they’re letting him win, though.
Probably a genwunner.
Asmodeus:
Asmo enjoys video games. They don’t fit into his aesthetic so he’s never really tried to understand them, but he doesn’t dislike them by any means.
Gaming is becoming more mainstream though, right? That’s a whole new audience that could appreciate him. Maybe, just maybe, he can let himself be a bit of a geek.
Unsurprisingly, he’s got a penchant for games with customization options. Surprisingly, he also really enjoys FPS games. If he and Levi ever played at the same time, it would be chaos in the House of Lamentation.
As opposed to his in-your-face attitude, he likes to play sniper units.
He said he wants to tap into the gaming community, but he’s not very good at most of the games he plays so he’s too embarrassed to actually do so. He does, however, play the Sims on livestream. He does his best to make the steamiest and most dramatic scenarios happen, and he’ll hold strawpolls to let his viewers make some choices.
Asmo also plays Animal Crossing like a few other brothers, but his island is so well groomed and with just the right residents, it feels like you’re touring an uncanny dystopia and Asmo is the dictator.
When the group gets together, he usually ends up doing the worst. He’s more interested in executing perfect combos than actually dealing damage, so he’s not aggressive enough to get anything done against players like Levi and Satan.
He’s also not very good at teamwork; he starts yelling at his partner very quickly.
Beelzebub:
Beel doesn’t have a lot of “gamer” in him, but some of his brothers seem to like it so he decided to give it a go. Turns out his hands are too big, but he makes do. Kind of.
You’d expect a sports game to be the best for him, since he’s so athletic. However, it’s BECAUSE he’s so athletic that this sort of game isn’t in his library. He gets too antsy and bored tapping buttons instead of actually playing the sport.
Beel’s also not an aggressive player in any sense of the word. He feels guilty even hurting the most basic of slimes.
No, no games are better for Beel than the stress-free, casual life simulators. Animal Crossing is no surprise his favorite one right now. Satan handles the museum for him while Beel gets to do whatever he feels like in a world where the biggest threat is a wasp.
He’ll also play other low stakes games where living your life is the main goal, like Harvest Moon and Stardew Valley. His big heart can never choose who to marry in those games.
Horror is also ok for him, because while aggression is hard for him, self-defense is not.
He got the Cooking Mama app on his D.D.D. and bit the device in half, so he’s not allowed to touch that franchise anymore.
When the gang meets up, his non-aggressive side sticks around. In fighting games, he’s more likely to dodge and steer clear of the others, and in other versus games he’s so open to compromise you’d think you were on the same team.
Satan did get him his favorite resident back.
Belphegor:
Belphie probably games the second most after Levi; it’s something that keeps him entertained but doesn’t require him to move very much at all.
I actually have no idea how to describe his preferred genres, but League of Legends and Dark Souls is basically all you need to know.
League lets him socialize a bit, and it’s the game that he and Levi play together most often. As for Dark Souls, he loves the sort of game where learning your opponent’s every move and outsmarting/outmaneuvering them is the only path to victory.
I guess that would be described as “really hard action-adventure” games? He’d also like Sekiro.
He also has his own copy of Animal Crossing to visit and play with Beel, but his island is so underdeveloped you’d think he started that same week.
Belphie is the true wild card of family game nights; sometimes he sleeps through the whole thing, while other times he can take down even Levi.
He has everyone’s habits down to a T--Mammon charges in, Asmo does too much setup, Levi’s overconfident--and he knows how to counter each and every one of them.
For someone who’s so much of a cunning player, though, he also misclicks a lot.
He’s the most likely out of his brothers to make alliances. He’s also the most likely to break alliances.
If he doesn’t think he can win, he’ll choose a player and start sabotaging the game in their favor.
Diavolo:
Lord Diavolo had read about like, Mario? The little blue hedgehog guy? But he’d never owned a gaming console before. He probably thought Neopets was peak gaming.
Levi swore to fix this grievous error, and this was also a mistake, because now Diavolo keeps trying to get Lucifer to play all these hack and slash games with him.
He has legitimately told Lucifer that “if you don’t play Devil May Cry with me THIS devil may cry!”
The games need to always have something happening in them or he’ll get bored, kind of like Satan’s need for a good story, except with action.
It’s also worth mentioning that “play a game with Diavolo” actually means “sit in the same room as Diavolo while he plays.”
And oh boy… is he terrible at these games.
He just button mashes until either he dies or all the enemies die.
Never uses any of the items he gets because he’s sure he’ll need them more later on. When, Diavolo? During the staff roll?
Will bomb a door before trying the knob.
Since he’s usually only around Lucifer, who doesn’t want to get sucked into this, and Barbatos, who honestly couldn’t care less about this, he’s been left alone and free to develop these terrible gaming habits.
It’s rare that he comes to family gaming night. Legend has it that Lucifer’s piercing glare is somehow connected to the fact that his brothers always let Diavolo win.
Masterlist
398 notes
·
View notes
tldr: I’m back, babey, with a handful of Torchwood fic recs timed perfectly for Halloween! Now, I tried to collect newer as well as older fics, but honestly, the way it worked out, they all ended up mostly being newer. Still, the fics here are a mixed bag in terms of spooky versus creepiness, and you should definitely find several you like!
I cannot sleep warm by Beleriandings (@ultraviolet-eucatastrophe)
“And I love you too. Now... time to wake up.”
(janto | complete | teen | 11.2K)
Nik: Hi! Do you want to cry? Well, then, read this fic! Set in...well, a scenario I can’t entirely describe without spoilers but can say that it involves dreaming, this fic transcends reality - and also imagination - at times. The author - yes, I am proud to call her my friend - is very good at writing surreal stories, and there are just so many angsty layers to this fic. There’s this symmetric beauty to the first chapter that the second chapter just brings into focus. I immensely enjoyed this fic, but don’t go in expecting a happy ending!
The Picture of Javic Thane by thirteeninafez (@thirteeninafez)
The painting was an old Victorian portrait, showing a man sitting in an almost throne-like chair, posture perfect and facial expression stoic. Deep colours swirled from brilliant brush strokes, perfectly capturing the image it was displaying. It took Ianto a second to realise that the figure in the maroon, nearly purple suit (and matching bow-tie) was in fact the same man that was currently holding the painting in the Hub.
“That’s what came through the Rift?” Ianto asked incredulously, trying to ignore the smile that was tugging at the corner of his mouth.
(janto | complete | teen | 22.3K)
Nik: Full disclosure, I beta’d this fic, and holy shit, it’s good and perfectly fits the Halloween mood! This fic is essentially a The Picture of Dorian Grey AU, and the author’s descriptions as the painting changes...chef’s kiss! All team’s perspectives on Jack and how he changes is delightful and enough to make you shudder. If dark!Jack is something you’ve been missing in life, read this fic, but also know that it comes with requisite amounts of angst. (But I guess that that’s to be expected!)
Werewolf of Cardiff by Jackdaw816 (@shejustcalledmeafish)
Ianto's a wolf in the bedroom. Literally
(janto | complete | teen | 0.5K)
Nik: Again, full disclosure, I chattered about Werewolf Ianto to the author enough until she wrote this. So you can basically thank me for this fic! Short and sweet, this fic is essentially the quickest and best fluff you can ask to cheer you up or give you the warm fuzzies! Despite being a werewolf, Ianto’s full characterization still comes through, and the author does a delightful job with pouring on the extra love and warmth into the Jack-Ianto relationship.
Jack-O'-Lantern by AVAAntares (@avaantares)
An epistolary story in which Gwen carves, Ianto objects, Owen shirks, and Jack pays.
(Written for Torchwood Halloween Fest 2020. Prompt: Halloween traditions or celebrations)
(janto | complete | general | 0.7K)
Nik: Another quick fic! This one is entirely amusing with a great team dynamic! Brief emails follow the trajectory of the weeks before Halloween in the Hub, including a pumpkin that falls victim to Gwen and Jack as well as other moments of humor. You’ll certainly find yourself giggling along!
Imposters Among Us by gwendolyncooper (@gwendolyncooper)
The Torchwood team (+Rhys) are out for a night of fun when they end up on a spaceship with no power, no info, and no crew. Known only as THE SKELD, the team tries to fix the ship and figure out what happened to its previous occupants.
But something out there is killing them.
Something that may be someone they know.
(gwenrhys, janto | complete | mature | 9.1K)
Nik: This fic, as gut-punchy and well-written as the writing is, may not for the light-hearted, as you can likely see with the tags, but trust me, it’s worth it and ends up paying itself off! It’s essentially real-life Among Us, but playing it in reality is a lot more terrifying than playing it on your phone, and the team proves that! The plot is intriguing as it builds on the lore of the game, and the emotional beats certainly punch very hard, but the fic lands a bit more lightly on its feet at the end. Certainly a must-read if you love Among Us!
Toil, Trouble, and Trick-or-Treating by moonlightrhosyn (@moonlightrhosyn)
“I know what this is. She planned this. She thinks I don’t spend enough time with the kids. That’s why she’s doing this.”
“Doing what, Ianto?” Gwen asked him. “What do your sister’s dinner plans have to do with you?”
Ianto heaved a sigh. “She just asked me to take David and Mica trick-or-treating so she ‘can go to dinner’ - she just wants me to spend more time with them, and she’s come up with this.”
“I can go too,” Jack offered as he joined them. He grinned. “I love kids!”
In which Jack and Ianto take Halloween night off to look after Rhiannon's kids, while Gwen and Suzie coordinate Halloween Watch (and Gwen tries to get Suzie a date, after two years of strategizing).
(janto, gwenrhys, kathysuzie | complete | teen | 2.7K)
Nik: Here’s a canon divergence AU where everyone lives, including Suzie, which means we get some fun team times with Halloween! Ianto is tasked with taking David and Mica trick-or-treating, all accompanied by Jack. It’s sweet, light, and a perfect treat, with great little moments like Gwen trying to set Suzie up on a date with Kathy Swanson and David and Mica trying to conspire against Jack and Ianto for candy. There’s no monsters here! I beta’d this fic - you’re probably starting to see a trend here - and 200% recommend this for a fun read if you’re disappointed about not getting to go trick-or-treating this year!
Treat or Trick by NancyBrown
Five unusual trick or treaters show up at the tourist office.
(janto | complete | teen | 1K)
Nik: The author is an icon of this fandom, but this is one of their lesser-read fics, which is a damn shame. Ianto’s Halloween at the tourist office goes a bit awry when he meets the team, not only de-aged but also tossed back in time. It’s quick, witty, and humorous, everything a fic needs! A must-read!
Going Batty by blackkat
Ianto is a vampire. Cue Owen's obligitory Twilight jokes.
(janto | complete | general | 1.4K)
Nik: This fic is completely crack. Completely. If you’re looking for Dracula-esque vampire!Ianto, this is the perfect fic for you. Taking place from the perspective of Gwen, it explores the mystery of Torchwood’s most reclusive member. But again, it is also. 100% crack. But it’s very, very batty. (See what I did there?)
Erlkönig by engagemythrusters (@iianto-jones)
Something lurked in the darkness. It waited and watched, and it was coming for Ianto.
(janto | complete | teen | 5.6K)
Nik: Now, if you really want spooky, this is the right fic for you! The writing is excellent and dripping with tension and suspense, and the way Ianto spirals...now, this is some well-written horror that will keep you on the edge of your seat. If you’re looking for answers in this fic, don’t expect any, but that only makes it better. A must-read that was - ironically - written in May. I have many, many questions about how this fic resolves; please tell us, author! (Or don’t, to keep the spooky alive!)
Echoing by Beleriandings (@ultraviolet-eucatastrophe)
Ianto wakes up at his desk in the archives, with no memory of how he got there or what happened before, and no way to contact Jack or Gwen. Turns out, all of that's the least of his problems.
(janto, lisaianto | complete | teen | 7.4K)
Nik: Yes, I know; this author has been on the list twice, but she’s on fire this month, with many, many excellent spooky fics. (Not that her fics aren’t always spooky!) This fic once again hits you like a gut-punch. Written in a very disorienting - in the good way - sense, we as readers follow Ianto wandering the Hub, looking for anyone else. He encounters company who aren’t so solid. By the time you’re nearing the end of this fic, you’ll likely have generated thousands of theories if you’re anything like me, but none of them will hurt as much as the actual truth. Expect some much angst from this. Again, another must-read!
64 notes
·
View notes
“Alibi” - Oneshot
“Alibi” - Oneshot
My Masterlist - Here
My Tag List - Here
Malcolm Bright x Reader, Gil Arroyo x Daughter!Reader
Word Count: 2,000-ish
Key: Y/N = Your Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color
Warnings: Mentions of murder, cursing. Large chunks of text in italics mean that it is a flashback.
Summary: After your boss is murdered, you are brought in as a suspect. In order to prove your innocence, you have to reveal a secret to your father.
Author’s Note: This was one of those ideas that hit me like a train right as I was about to go to bed, so I scribbled as much as I could down and tried to make sense of it the next day.
We’re also gonna pretend that Gil and Jessica aren’t a thing cause then that would make this story a bit awkward.
This is not beta read, so let me know if there are any mistakes!
If you would like to be tagged in any of my future pieces, check out my tag list above and let me know! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!
<3
- DreaSaurusREX
~~~~~~~~~~~~
“So, (Y/N), got any news for me?” Your boss, Mr.Naruski asked from his desk chair, casually weaving a pen in between his fingers. It was lunchtime and you had gotten salads from the meditarrian place that he liked.
“Well, Simon wanted to move his meeting with you to Friday, but there would be no way to do that unless we add another 4 hours to the day. Oh! And Mrs.Krewnshe asked me if--”
“(Y/N), sweetheart! We are on our lunch break! Which means I don’t want any news with my clients unless it's urgent. I meant news in the world of the best secretary in New York!”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes a little bit and smile. Mr.Naruski was a true blessing when it came to employers. He owned his own architecture business in New York and somehow wasn’t a complete asshat like some of your previous bosses. He and his wife were incredibly caring and truly understood that you had to be a human in order to work with other humans. The respect you got here was well worth the daily commute!
“Well, if you really want to know... My boyfriend set up a nice, and very last minute, date for us tonight.” You couldn’t hide the true smile that spread across your lips. Mr.Naruski leaned forward and raised an eyebrow.
“Oh? And where is this ‘nice’ date happening, if I might ask?”
“I’m not sure. He wouldn’t tell me. All he said was to be ready by 6 because we have reservations for 6:45. But I have a feeling it’s that new modern industrial place that I was telling you about. He knows I love to walk past it and appreciate the details. While I don’t think I’ve ever said out loud that I like it or would like to go inside, he has a great ability to read me.”
Your smile grew a little more as your eyes drifted slightly down, thinking about all the times your boyfriend picked up on the smaller details in the past. He was good with surprises. Mr.Naruski watched how this interaction brought out your best side. The two of you finished your lunches and got back to work.
Your boss had one more meeting this afternoon. It was with a company called Jetlan Inc. From the small bit of conversation you heard as Mr.Naruski escorted his guests out, it was a successful meeting. He turned back to you once the door was closed and let out a relieved sigh.
“I take it everything went well?”
“As well as I could. They are going to take tonight to mull it over and then give us a call tomorrow. So expect Samuel to call at some point.”
You wrote down a little reminder to yourself on a sticky note “May get call from Jetlan Inc.” and placed it near your desk’s phone. You went back to typing out the schedule for next week when Mr.Naruski tapped a finger on your desk.
“How about you leave early today, (Y/N)?”
“Are you sure, sir? I can stay and help with the final prep for tomorrow’s deal if you want. I should also probably finish this schedule.”
“I think I can handle that on my own. And you can add your final touches tomorrow. You,” He stood up and walked around your desk and held out his hands. You put your hands in his and he helped you up before grabbing your coat from the coat rack. “Have a date to get ready for.”
You couldn’t help but laugh. It was almost unbelievable to have a boss that really cared about your personal life as much as your professional one like he did. You just slipped on your coat and grabbed your purse, knowing that when Naruski made up his mind, it was set. He opened the door for you and put a hand on your arm.
“He told me to ‘love with my whole heart, but be smart enough to know when to use my brain instead.’ I think it was his way of saying ‘Be safe and have fun.’”
A small but sad smile worked its way onto your face at the thought of him being so supportive. You felt a wave of tears coming, so you finished up your story to try to stop them from falling.
“After that, I thanked him again, and I left to go back to my apartment and get ready. The next time I saw Mr.Naruski was the next morning, behind the crime scene tape blocking my office, dead.”
You couldn’t believe that just 24 hours ago, you were happily talking to your boss about your date. And now he was dead. Murdered in his own office, two hours after you had left. You were being questioned at the NYPD by none other than JT Tarmel, Dani Powell, Malcolm Bright, and your father, Gil Arroyo.
No one spoke, they were taking in all of the details of your alibi. It felt like forever before Malcolm broke the silence.
“Are there security cameras in your office?”
“Yes. There is one in the main office where my desk is positioned, one in Mr.Naruski’s office, and one in the hallway outside our door.”
“Great. We can check those. They’ll show (Y/N) leaving and should have a timestamp on them that we can check.
The team did their own little nods, still thinking about your alibi. They wanted to trust you, but they needed to think of every possible thing that could have happened, or if they could find any evidence to the real killer.
“Who did you go on a date with?” Dani was sitting about 6 feet to your right, a bottle of water in her hands as she leaned forward, elbows on the table.
“I don’t see how my dating life is relevant to my boss being murdered in his office.”
Lies. You knew why she was asking. It was a major part of your alibi and it’s the only other way that they could concretely cross you off of the suspect list. JT jumped in to try to diffuse the situation, none of them aware of how much you didn’t want to share.
“It's just another way that we can confirm your alibi, (Y/N).”
You could see Gil adjusting his stance as he leaned against the wall to your left. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at your father, already feeling his intense stare boring into you.
The room was silent, but the anxiety in your chest made it feel like the room was half of its real size. You kept your posture as straight as you could while you focused on your hands that were unconsciously fidgeting on top of the table.
“Tell us the kid’s name, (Y/N).”
“Why can’t you just check the cameras like Malcolm said? That’ll show when I left at around 4:30 yesterday afternoon and when I came back today for my shift but saw the tape instead! You could even check my apartment’s security cameras!”
“Woah! We will, (Y/N). We just want to be able to cover our asses and yours.” JT tried again to calm you down, everyone know seeing how uncomfortable the idea of sharing the details of your date made you.
Your leg started to shake under the table, that was your cue that your anxiety was getting bad. You lock eyes with Malcolm. He sees how much you’re struggling and just gives you a short nod. You knew what he was trying to say, but you really didn’t want to agree. Malcolm then took a deep breath, trying to get you to do the same. You looked down and tried to take a deep breath in.
“Why can’t you just answer the question, (Y/N)?!” Gil didn’t yell, but you could hear the annoyance in his voice. It was the final hit that broke the last of your defenses.
“Because it's Malcolm, alright?!”
Even you were a bit shocked at the slight frustration and exasperation in your voice. As everyone let that fact settle in their brains, you closed your eyes and took a couple deep breaths, trying to accept the fact that it was out in the open now. Malcolm made his way behind you and put a comforting hand on your shoulder, lightly rubbing this thumb to try and soothe you. You opened your eyes and stared at the center of the table, your hands now clasped together.
“Last night I left work early to go get ready for a date with Malcolm Bright. He took me to that nicer place off of 47th that has the grey brick exterior with the iron corner details. We went there to catch a break from our lives because it's been so hectic lately and we haven’t had much time to just sit and enjoy each other’s company.”
Our reservation was for 6:45 under Malcolm’s name. You can check with the manager there, go into their electronic reservation system, and see that we checked in and everything. Or Malcolm may have some sort of confirmation email. Now do I need to go into detail about what we ordered or what cocktail I was drinking, or am I good?”
You slowly looked up to meet your father’s eyes. You expected something upset in his eyes, but instead, they were very professional. He looked from you to Malcolm, who in turn nodded, confirming your story. Gil audibly inhaled through his nose and exhaled through his nose and he rubbed a hand down his face.
“No. You’re good, kid.”
You look back to your hands and close your eyes, focusing on your breathing. You weren’t hyperventilating, but you definitely felt a weight in your chest.
Dani and JT looked at each other, unaware of what to do in this situation. Malcolm looked from you back to Gil, his face slightly pleading. Gil quickly tilted his head towards the door, a small sigh of relief coming from Malcolm as he moved his hand to your arm and leaned down to quietly talk in your ear.
“C’mon, (Y/N). Let’s get some air or something to drink, okay?”
You nodded and stood up as Malcolm grabbed your coat from the rack near the door. You took yours and slung it over your arm as Malcolm opened the door for you. Before you could leave, Gil spoke up.
“I will be seeing the two of you in my office in an hour though. We need to have a chat.”
You just nod and leave already knowing what this “chat” is going to be about. Malcolm was reaching for his coat when Gil’s voice resonated again.
“Malcolm, take care of her. Go to that shop around the corner. They have those little pastries she likes. And make sure your both are back here soon. We’re not done with this.”
“Will do.” Malcolm nodded and quickly left and caught up with you, walking you safely out of the NYPD.
With that, there was still a semi-awkward air in the meeting room. Dani quietly fiddled with her water bottle and let out a “Well…”
“Heh! Yeah. That was somethi--”
Before JT could get further, Gil pointed at him and sternly said “Don’t.” JT just raises his hands in defense and backs off. Dani couldn’t help but smirk a bit at the sight of JT getting called out.
“So where do we go from here?” Dani calmly asked the room.
“We need to get the security footage from the office building and (Y/N)’s apartment complex. Get in contact with the restaurant owner and see if we can check their reservation system, if not, ask Malcolm if he has any email from their reservation.”
“On it.” JT confirmed as he left the room to head to his desk and start working. Gil leaned on the table, thinking for a moment. “What do we know about this Jetlan Inc.?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tags: @malindacath @shadowfoxey @whovianayesha @melconnor2007 @ashenfallsof @geeksareunique @all-by-myself98 @sj-thefan
241 notes
·
View notes
FEMSLASH FEBRUARY 2021 #10: In which Cameron tries to spoil Donna
[CN: food and eating mentions]
.
.
In January of 2021, Donna realized and voiced the obvious while watching television one day: “We’re really not gonna be able to have people over for Galentine’s Day, are we?”
Cameron didn’t always entirely enjoy the spectacle or debauchery that sometimes happened at Donna’s Galentine parties, but she was still sorry that it wouldn’t be safe or advisable to celebrate that year. Gently, she replied, “Not considering a Galentine’s video conference, then?”
“I guess I could do that,” Donna sighed heavily. “It won’t be the same though. And we won’t be able to give out gift bags!” she wailed.
Donna looked forward to organizing a party for February 13 every year, but her favorite part of Galentine’s Day had always been making and giving gift bags filled with expensive indulgences to their friends, and Cameron had never really understood it. It was, in fact, one of the very few things that Cameron didn’t love about Donna, and she wasn’t sure why it bothered her. Donna certainly had the money for it, and what better way to spend your money than on giving nice things to your friends? But no matter how hard she tried, Cameron just couldn’t shake her discomfort with the gross materialism of it.
Still, Cameron tried to be encouraging. “You could send care packages, couldn’t you?”
Donna thought about it for a moment, and then said, “Putting all that strain on the postal service just so I can send my friends expensive scented candles and handmade journals?” Her face collapsed into a look of utter despair at the very thought. “That just feels so ‘let them eat cake,’ doesn’t it?”
“You are not a naive and undereducated young queen who was bamboozled into inheriting a bankrupt and rapidly disintegrating monarchy,” Cameron said, patting Donna’s hand comfortingly. “And you’re also not a nameless, possibly non-existent princess in a non-fiction work by Jean-Jacques Rousseau, or Maria-Teresa, the Spanish princess who might have actually said that.”
With a bemused smile, Donna said, “I love that you just know that.”
“Yeah, well.” Cameron said, putting an arm around Donna. “Just because I have a reputation for being a princess-hater doesn’t mean that I actually hate them. I mean, look at who I married.”
“Cameron Howe, Defender of Princesses,” Donna said. “That has a ring to it? I’ll have to make you head of my queensguard when I inherit the throne.”
Cameron arched an eye brow at Donna. “Are you trying to tell me that you wanna play exiled gay princess and devoted butch lady knight?”
Finally and fully distracted from her galentine’s day disappointment, Donna laughed. And then she kissed Cameron.
***
Cameron got out of bed late that night and went downstairs for two hours. When she returned, Donna woke up briefly, and she said, “Hey? You okay? Where’d you go?”
“Never you mind,” Cameron said, getting under the covers. “I was making you some brioche to throw at the peasants.”
“What?” Donna cried. Then she realized that Cameron was kidding and giggled. “Okay, okay. Keep your secrets.”
Curling up next to Donna, Cameron kissed her shoulder. Resting her head on her pillow, she said, “Good night, sleep tight, your royal highness.”
“Likewise, good Sir Cameron!” Donna said, falling back to sleep.
***
In early February, while Cameron worked on the requested Valentine’s Day decorations, Donna tried to come up with an alternate Galentine plan. She filled out cards and sent them early, and then she sent messages to everyone on her guest list to see if they might have time for individual video chats. She wound up scheduling early morning coffee with Tanya, an afternoon check in with Dr. Katie Herman, and cocktail hour with Risa and her partner, and also Cameron. She spent the next few days trying to come up with ‘something else.’ When she finally resorted to mopily looking through all of their saved and archived photos of past Galentine’s Day parties, she figured it out.
Cameron woke up on the 13th to an email from Donna. While Donna fried eggs and bacon and poured mixed berry waffles, Cameron, sitting at the kitchen island, looked at her phone, and asked, “Did you email me this morning?”
“You, and many of our friends!” Donna chirped.
Flatly, Cameron said, “If it’s a severed head, I’m gonna be very upset.” She clicked on the email with her thumb to read it.
The email said, “To my favorite galentine: while we can’t celebrate with our friends this year, we can give to others, and we also absolutely need to give as much as we can spare during this on-going crisis. So while I do love giving ridiculously priced candles and pens to our friends, this year, my gift is a donation in your name to Girls Who Code.” The closing of the email said, “With any luck we’ll be able to celebrate with our friends next year, but in the meantime: Happy Galentine’s Day! -xo DC.”
And then at the very end of the email, there was an attachment, a photo of Cameron and Donna in the kitchen, preparing snacks, that Haley had taken at their first Galentine’s Day gathering.
Cameron stared at the photo for a minute, and then asked, “Wait, did you make donations for everyone?”
“Yes, yes I did,” Donna said, as she opened the waffle iron. “To different places though, food banks, abortion funds and domestic violence support groups, bail funds, and Black and indigenous justice orgs.”
Overwhelmed by a rush of affection toward her wife, Cameron said, “I think that that was a great way to celebrate. Nice work, Boss.”
Donna’s blushed as she made their plates. “Thank you! I just hope it helps, somehow. Sometimes it all feels futile, you know? It feels less futile when you bring all your friend into it and then email them about it, though!”
They ate breakfast, and then before Donna could say anything else, Cameron said, “Okay, so, I’ve done something. Something that was meant to help cheer you up.”
“Oh?” Donna asked, intrigued.
Cameron got up from her seat, went around the island, and took Donna’s hand. Donna got up, and Cameron escorted her their living room couch, where Cameron had placed two large red gift bags. “You always said that everyone opening their gift bags together was your favorite part of all of this, so. I made two bags for us. It’s not the same as all of our friends opening our git bags together, but, it’s something?”
“Oh, Cam,” Donna frowned. “I love the pseudo but not-quite Gift of the Magi vibes, but, you didn’t have to do this.”
“I know I didn’t, but everything sucks so I figured why not,” Cameron said, picking up her bag and sitting down on the couch. Come on! Sit!” She picked up Donna’s bag, and handed it to her.
Donna accepted the bag from her. She looked at it, and then said, “If this is a severed head, I’m also gonna be very upset.”
“It’s not, it’s a gun rack,” Cameron deadpanned. “For the last time, sit, already!”
Donna sat down next to her, and with the bag in her lap, she started to pull out the pink tissue paper Cameron had crumped and stuffed into the top. “Okay, so what have we got first?” Donna reached into the bag, and pulled out a small plastic bottle. “Scented moisturizing hand sanitizer!”
“The white vetiver scent,” Cameron said, holding hers up. “I didn’t like it at first, but you were right, as always. Now it’s my favorite.”
“A luxurious yet practical item, and a fine choice!” Donna enthused. “What’s next?” She reached into the bag, and pulled out a large tube of aloe-infused hand cream. “Ah, an old standby, and another Emerson-Howe household staple.”
Looking at the tube that been in her bag, Cameron said, “I wanted to go with something fancy, but this stuff just works so well! I feel like we can never have enough of it.”
Reaching into her bag again, Donna felt some plastic wrap, and then pulled out a black and blush pink leopard print 100% silk face mask, packaged with its own silk case.
Cameron looked at her own navy blue and star patterned mask, and admitted, “This is the biggest splurge in here. But as long as we’re double masking….”
With a small sigh, Donna reached into her bag again, and found a set of silk scrunchies, with the same leopard print as her mask. “Oh, I was thinking about trying these! Thank you for remembering me talking about it.”
“What kind of partner would I be if I didn’t buy you the one thing you single thing you put off buying for yourself?” Cameron said. “You can try mine, too, I don’t think I’ll end up using them.”
Donna reached into the bottom of the bag, and found the next to last item, a small cardboard box. When she looked at it, it was a fresh tube of her favorite nude pink lipstick, which she’d been wearing since the late ‘90s, and had been meaning to repurchase.
“I just got a drugstore lip balm for myself, nude rose is your color, not mine,” Cameron said.
Donna snorted. “That was probably the best way to handle it. Thank you for knowing my color.”
“That’s the end of what’s in my bag!” Cameron said. “There’s one more thing in your bag though, because we only need one.”
Donna found the last item. A copy of the Criterion release of Portrait of a Lady on Fire, Donna held it up and said, “Oh…as I recall, you liked this movie better than I did!”
“Yes,” Cameron agreed, “but, you said that you liked it, and that you wanted to try watching it again at home. Which I thought we could maybe do sometime this month.”
Donna smiled at her. “Honestly, I would love that. It’s a date.”
Donna was about to lean in and kiss Cameron to properly thank her, when her phone, forgotten in the kitchen, rang.
“Ack, that’s probably Tanya!” Donna jumped up. “We’re supposed to ‘have coffee’ together!”
“Go answer, then!” Cameron said. “I can clean this up and I can take care of the dishes, too.”
“This was perfect and I love you!” Donna hurriedly kissed her, before rushing off. Already half way to the kitchen, she called out, “Happy Galentine’s Day!” behind her.
“Hard same, have fun, tell Tanya I say hi!” Cameron shouted after her.
10 notes
·
View notes
Hello!:) Day 16 is going to be a bit highly specific haha: since you said that the Lady of Pain dishes out vengeance against anyone who speaks ill of her, does this mean that all gods can hear when others speak of them? How can they keep track of all humans, and see someone who has high potential for the weave? (Do gods physically/magically fight among themselves when they pick the same human?)
Ohhhhhhh my goodness ok. Here we go. This might get long and I have barely started.
A little bit about what I know of the Lady of Pain, as far as I am aware, she isn't actually an official deity. Fun fact! Deities are not allowed in Sigil! So when Sadie offends the gods (which happens way too often, they are so touchy!) she can flee to Sigil and be protected there. Ironically it is one of the safest yet absolutely most dangerous places there. Someone she cares about very much and who has almost never been in a place of true peril literally almost died there and that scarred her for life. But! It's absolutely accurate that the Lady of Pain is definitely the closest thing to a deity in Sigil. I just thought that little tidbit was fun.
Now for the freaking awesome part. So the gods all have a real name and a title. For example, Maelel is the goddess of music, art, and beauty. She normally is called the Living Song. Most people only refer to the gods as their titles. This actually prevents them from drawing the gods' attention! So if Sadie says Maelel's name when she prays, then Maelel is more alerted than if she prayed to the Living Song (adorable side note, Sadie's lover calls her his Living Song and it makes my heart melt every single time).
This also plays into when Sadie makes herself a enemies with certain gods. The Mad God becomes one of Sadie's enemies and honestly even as the real life person I sometimes get nervous typing his name lmao. He scares me and has done some horrible things. He's even been exiled by the other gods.
How the gods keep track of their people is something I'm not entirely sure of but I imagine something like Morgan Freeman in Bruce Almighty. Morgan Freeman's God pays attention but not to everyone at once, not like Bruce and his prayer email software he made up and answered every single prayer all at once. The gods in this setting really have their own lives too. They keep an eye on things and answer prayers but they also have to make sure their domain is under control (like Maelel making sure the there is plenty of song and beauty in the world). When big things start to happen, the gods pay attention and whoever is involved with that they keep an eye on too. So... oh my gosh maybe they are kind of like how the NSA supposedly keeps an eye out for anything serious but you don't really know how involved they get lmaoooo sorry if that was creepy but honestly I kind of think that's a good description of maybe how the gods work in this setting. They aren't super involved but they aren't super distant either.
Ok this last question asldkfjalkjshdj have you been sneaking our chats all these years?! Because the gods fighting over a powerful mage may or may not be critical to a large chunk of the later RP. Sadie went from level 3 (we were experienced players and at level 3 in D&D you really get into your class so most of the time we skip levels 1 and 2) to level 20 (highest actual level in D&D, any levels after this are homebrewed). So by the time she was level 20 some of the gods were taking notice. And you bet there was a huge kerfuffle over something very specific that I don't really want to spoil right now but it's a little dark. I'm not exactly sure how much fighting they did among themselves, although from what I've heard, they did at least a little, but there was actually a lot of fighting with Sadie herself. Gosh I want to say so much more but I think I am going to leave it at that for now!
4 notes
·
View notes
Sunday Runners.....the Corvair interview.
The music of Corvair fell into my hands recently thanks to Heather Larimer, who makes up one half of the band. The Portland duo, comprised of Larimer and her husband Brian Naubert (and drummer Eric Eagle for the recordings) haven’t been around for too long but being together a lot the past year or so gave them plenty of time to work on songs. I was a big fan of Larimer’s previous band, Eux Autres, and wondered if they were still around (see the first question) so was anxious to hear Corvair. I really liked what I heard. A healthy dose of all things 1970’s, 80’s and 90’s and not quite new wave, note quite indie rock but 100% deluxe. The S/T record, which was released in February, was a co-release between their own label and WIAIWYA label in the UK. Read on and find out the history of the band, where they’ve been and where they’re headed. Oh and make sure you listen to their music.
Heather and Brian and Brian and Heather
Tell us about the end of Eux Autres. Why did that band end?
It actually has not officially ended. While Sun is Sunk was coming out, we left SF because it felt like that city as we knew it was dying—all the artists we knew were moving out, and I moved back to Portland and Nick to LA. Then I had a baby and then Nick had a baby and then soon we each had another baby. With 4 little kids among us, it became really hard to fly back and forth to work on new material. We tried it for a couple years and then one day we calculated that at our pace, the record we were making would take 5 years. So we just kind of gave each other permission to prioritize other projects. Nick is working on some songs I truly love right now. They’re a real gut punch.
…and about the beginning of Corvair. How/when did the band form?
We had known each other for many years and then we got married three-ish years ago and suddenly neither of us had other musical projects going on. So we kind of shrugged and said, what if we worked together? We would sing in the car or while cooking or whatever so we knew our voices sounded great together. Then it was just a matter of figuring out what sort of project it would be. We went into the studio with a session drummer (Eric Eagle) in late 2019 and then a few months later, the pandemic suddenly gave as a LOT of time to make progress on the tracks. So the creative center of the record was defined in a weird apocalyptic bubble. But it was helpful to have that break with reality as we knew it, because we’ve both made a lot of records, and I suppose that could have somehow blunted our ambition or our edges. But we just hit the “fuck it” button and gave ourselves over to it completely. We were very nervous to mix, because no one else in the world had heard it, and we thought it was great, but we also could have been in a shared hallucination. Really, we’d be the last to know.
The debut....
Who came up with the name? I have always loved those cars.
Brian’s mom drove a Corvair with a hole in the floor. They would drive it on the special outings to the beach, the weekend adventures. So it was a very romantic car, and the name is just very nice to say. It makes you feel good. Both of us had been in bands with names that were a nightmare to tell someone in a crowded club, or really anywhere (Eux Autres and Ruston Mire). You’d have to repeat it 3 times, then explain it, and then they just kind of shrug with pity. We vowed to have a band name anyone could understand the first time.
Did the WIAIWYA label approach you about releasing the record (or co-releasing it)?
John had approached Eux Autres right after our second record and so we did an EP (Strangled Days) with him and then we were on his label ever since. Late last summer, I posted a picture of Brian and I holding the CD Master on my Instagram and John said, what the hell is this? And then I emailed him the record and he wrote right back: “It’s RAD Heather!” I’m not sure if he was making fun of me by saying “rad”--probably, actually. I think I used to say it a lot. But he immediately wanted to put out the record. Nick and I had some really great times in the UK and Europe thanks to John and he has a very devoted audience, so Corvair felt it was a great fit for us.
Is the Pink Room your own studio?
Yes, it is literally a room in our house that is pink. Brian has been making records at home for most of his life, since he was about 14. And despite having done fancier stuff like making studio demos for Columbia several times and recording with Peter Buck in a nice place, he really prefers to work at home because he likes to spend a ton of time on overdubs—they’re not even really “overdubs,” more like a second wave of writing for him. And I had found being in the studio very stressful in the past because I’m not a technically proficient musician and that makes me self-conscious. So I was grateful to be in the privacy of my own home, in my soft pants.
Single from last year
Did the songs on the album come fairly easily or did you feel like you labored over them?
The initial writing of them came very easily and fast. Brian did a couple of 30 day writing challenges where he wrote several songs a day. But then once we laid down the basic tracks, we spent a ton of time building them and experimenting with them. We actually recorded probably twice as many parts as we ended up using. And half of what we did in the mix was kill things. In fact, we cut five totally finished songs from the record.
Tell us about making those videos? Were you freezing?
Consistently very very cold, yes. Ironically, the one in the snow (Green Mean Time) was the warmest because we were properly dressed. But the ocean ones were just brutal. Especially Sunday Runner. The video was Brian’s idea, he had a very specific vision and made it sound all easy: OK, just go down to the beach and dance for 90 seconds. And I was like, huh?!? And then I kept falling down and got absolutely soaked to the bone. When we finished shooting, I couldn’t feel my hands or feet and he was steering me down the beach with his coat wrapped around me and these little kids were staring horrified, like, Mom what’s wrong with that lady?
Prior to the pandemic had you played out live much? Done any tours?
We have never ever played live as Corvair. Which is just wild. We will likely be recording this next album before we even have a line-up for performing. But we are very excited to play together. Likely this fall. Hopefully John will bring us to England soon so we will have a great excuse to get it together.
What are your top 10 desert island discs?
Brian:
David Bowie - Ziggy Stardust
David Bowie - Low
Nada Surf - Let Go
Brian Eno - Another Green World
Pink Floyd - Dark Side of The Moon (yeah I know, but I don’t care)
Heather:
GBV - Alien Lanes
Kinks - Village Green
Elliott Smith - Either/Or
Radiohead - Kid A
Ruston Mire - Steady Jobs and Flying Cars
Who are some of your favorite current bands, local otherwise?
HL: I’m interested in the Dry Cleaning juggernaut. And I really dig Deep Sea Diver, Cloud Nothings, Courtney Barnett, Big Thief/Lenker. And then, I’m also very ready to embrace a new angry band whose music makes you think your stereo is broken when you play it--I’m taking suggestions.
BN: Alt J, Elbow, Doves, Metric, Foals, Snail Mail
What’s next for the band?
HL: We are recording this summer and trying to put some sort of live outfit together ASAP. Trying to stay out of the ocean for a while.
Closing comments? Words of wisdom? Final thoughts?
Thank you so much for having us!
www.corvair.bandcamp.com
3 notes
·
View notes
perfect, part 1
“You don’t look well,” Bo says, and Dell waves a hand in dismissal.
“I look fine.” he slides into the car next to the younger man and the driver starts off before the door is even closed.
“Ok, you look fine, but I can tell...” He trails off, and Dell laughs softly. Even under the weather he looks lovely. It’d be very hard to tell if you didn’t see him everyday, but because he does, Bo notices every bit that’s off. he’s considerably paler, and his eyes are red rimmed like they are when he hasn’t gotten any sleep. His lips are chapped, and the way he keeps touching his septum with his knuckle is evidence something’s wrong.
All that said, he looks otherwise immaculate. His shirt is ironed and crisp as normal, his curls are brushed the way they always are, he’s clean shaven and obnoxiously punctual.
“What can you tell?” He asks, teasing, and Bo sighs, glancing again at the driver. He lowers his voice.
“That you’re ill.” Dell smirks.
“And what does my being ill matter?” He doesn’t bother lowering his voice. Bo sighs.
“It matters because you probably need some rest and some tea and a day off instead of running around-” Dell cuts him short.
“Do I have time for a day off?” Bo frowns. They absolutely don’t. It’s been only a few weeks since Dell’s mother, reigning queen of their tiny, forgotten, european country announced her decision to step down. Which meant Dell, the royal family’s only son, would be king. And for Bo, the personal assistant hired by his mother, meant an extreme uptick in the amount of things he needed to manage per day.
“We could -”
“Don’t say we could work something out. We can’t work something out. This week is busy and we’re not cancelling everything just because you’re under the impression I have a cold.” Dell seems completely unwilling to keep the conversation between just the two of them, so Bo stops keeping his voice low.
“I’m under the impression?”
“Have I said I don’t feel well?” Bo sighs.
“No.”
“So it remains to be seen.”
The truth is that Dell doesn’t need an assistant. At least not one that rides with him to appointments and is constantly within five feet. Dell needs someone who will answer his emails, not someone to babysit him. Especially not someone a year and half younger. He’s been cordial but it’s clear he doesn’t really enjoy Bo’s presence. He’s not condescending or anything, he just seems to get a lot of fun out of joking and teasing and sarcasm.
“Just trying to be nice,” Bo says, and Dell gives an almost sad smile.
“Your job isn’t to be nice to me or ask if I’m ill, Bowen. It’s to make sure I get to the places I need to be to do my job. The concern is very kind but it’s not necessary.”
Bo wants to argue, but he won’t. He’s not concerned because he thinks it’s necessary. He’s concerned because over the past two months he’s grown to actually care about him. He won’t say that though, because though Dell would probably just find it funny there’s a major possibility that someone up the chain of command would find it unprofessional. Also, he doesn’t need to give Dell any more ammunition for teasing.
So, they go about the day as normal, Dell being his normally charming self through meetings and lunch and meetings and dinner while Bo sits a few feet to the left, taking notes or answering emails or trying to look occupied. The most awkward hour of the day is when Bo is forced to sit in on Dell’s meal with his girlfriend. He’s seated a table away, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s still Bo’s job to eavesdrop on them.
By the end of the day, back in the car to the palace, Dell looks considerably worse. As much as he can look worse. He’s started to sniffle, and he’s definitely more pale than he was this morning. The most worrisome thing is that he’s started to shiver. Bo doesn’t mention it.
They part ways, Bo headed to his small apartment on the palace grounds, Dell headed to a likely gorgeous private wing decorated with art that costs more than Bo’s salary.
The next morning Dell looks worse - his eyes are still bleary, and even in a thick sweater he’s shivering. His nose is a little pink, and he’s carrying a travel packet of tissues when he climbs into the car. It’s a rainy March morning, warm enough to keep snow at bay but cold enough to be unpleasant.
“Should I -” Dell cuts him off, his voice sounding a bit deeper and raspier than normal.
“No, it’s fine. I can manage.” He gives the younger man one of signature charming smiles and Bo feels something in his chest melt a little bit. He tries to shove it down. He should not feel this way about his boss. His straight, taken, totally-out-of-his-league boss. Still, Dell seems to sense his nerves. “Something’s wrong?” He asks, still smirking. Bo feels his cheeks heat.
“No, nothing.” He forces a little smile before burying his face back into his phone, pretending to write an email.
“What’s on the schedule?” Bo’s grateful to have something concrete to focus on.
“Uh, the garden dedication. Oh, shit.” Dell standing out in the cold drizzle for an hour and a half is not going to be good. They’ve got umbrellas but the cold is bad enough on its own. “We could try -”
“It’s ok,” he gestures to his coat and scarf, “I’m prepared for it.”
“But...” Bo bites his lip.
“You’re worried I’ll catch my death?” Dell teases, and Bo rolls his eyes.
“That’d be a blessing.”
“Then who would bother you all day?”
“I’m sure you’d find a way.
“Right I would.”
Despite all of Dell’s protests, after about five minutes of standing outside for the ceremony he looks miserable. At least Bo can tell he’s miserable. To anyone else he probably looks fairly normal, apart from constantly wiping his nose. It’s baffling how everything he does he manages to make look polite and charming and sophisticated.
When the event is over, Bo can see the relief in Dell’s entire posture. That is until his mother approaches them.
“Bowen we won’t be needing you for the rest of the day. Consider it some paid time off.”
Bo’s eyebrows furrow but before he can say anything Dell speaks up.
“Why is that?” He seems tense again, though Bo isn’t sure why. Truthfully he’d much rather spend a day following Dell around than home alone watching television, even more so because it’s clear Dell’s walking the line between a cold and something worse. And Bo is well aware no one but him gives a damn about how Dell actually feels.
“There’s no need, you’ll be with us the rest of the day.”
Dell looks like he wants to argue but he just gives a polite smile. He gives Bo a little nod.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Bo hesitates, he wants to object, wants to insist he stay, but he doesn’t. He just nods and takes the car back to the palace, changing out of his semi-damp clothes and into some sweats. The rest of the day passes slowly, and he decides that at 8:30, he’s going to Dell’s room with some tea. He shouldn’t be so worried, but he is, and the only way to get his mind to stop racing is just to confirm that Dell is in fact doing just fine.
At 8:25 he grabs the thermos of tea and sets off toward Dell’s bedroom. He’s been here a few times, mostly on mornings when they can’t wait until they get in the car to talk logistics, but never for any kind of personal reason. He’s not really sure if it’s allowed, but he’ll take the chance.
When he finally arrives to the door it takes him a minute to gather the courage to knock. The door opens slowly to reveal Dell in an oversized t shirt and boxers, flushed and shimmering with sweat, his curls stringy and limp. Bo’s never even seen him in a shirt without buttons, let alone boxers and a t shirt. The room is freezing, Bo can feel it seeping out into the hallway. Dell looks mildly confused, his eyes half lidded.
“Is there something we need to talk about?” His voice is hoarse and broken in places, some of the sounds rounded from congestion. He sniffles wetly.
“No, I uh...” Bo is so taken aback he’s having a hard time formulating a sentence. “I brought some tea.” He holds it out sort of awkwardly, and Dell takes it, cracking a small smile. They stand there in silence for a few moments, and Bo swears he can see the older man swaying on his feet. One of his hands rests on the door frame.
“That’s all?” He asks, and the teasing tone in his voice is apparent. Evidently Dell is never ill enough to let Bo off the hook.
“Yeah, I guess. I mostly wanted to see how your cold was.”
“Worried about me?” He asks, still smiling, and Bo rolls his eyes. he’s about to reply when Dell breaks into a fit of coughs. They sound like they come from deep in his chest, like they hurt. By the time he’s done he’s trembling, all the color gone from his face. “Before you ask, yes, I feel awful.”
“Can I come in?” The words slip out before Bo has a chance to hold them back. Dell raises his eyebrows.
“You wanna come in?”
“Uh, no, I-um, I ju-” Bo mumbles before Dell cuts him off.
“No, it’s fine. Yeah, come in. Sorry, it’s a little bit much.”
Bo hesitantly steps inside and Dell closes the door. Bo’s never actually been inside any of the core royal family member’s suites. The lights are off and the curtains are drawn, but when Dell flips on a lamp Bo’s able to get a decent look.
the room is massive, and though the furniture looks undoubtedly expensive, it doesn’t look how Bo expected it to. It’s more modern and minimal than he anticipated. It doesn’t really match the aesthetics of the rest of the room - the marble floor, intricate wallpaper, fancy wood working all scream excess while all the furniture though obviously well made is understated.
There’s a sitting area with a television, a huge bed, and what appears to be an equally massive bathroom and closet. One of the windows is open, which explains the cold, and Dell waves him over to where he’s sitting on the couch. He sits gingerly, and Dell gives a weary smile.
“Now you know how the other half lives.”
“That’s not why I wanted to come in.” Dell just raises his eyebrows. “I wanted to just uh, make sure you’re alright.” Dell sighs and rubs his eyes. He sniffles.
“We’ve got tomorrow off, I’ll be fine. Just need some sleep.” He sniffles again, and wipes his red tinged nose with a tissue. Bo’s heart is pounding.
“You need more than sleep.” He has no idea where he’s getting all this courage. Dell smirks.
“And what do I need?”
“Well you’ve got a fever, clearly, and that cough sounds pretty bad. I don’t know if sleep will do it, especially considering the temperature in here.” Dell looks sort of impressed.
“You wanna look after me.” It’s not a question. Bo freezes.
“I mean...if you wanted somebody to -”
“Bowen, I’ll be honest with you.” Bo’s heart stops completely. “It’s been probably 15 years since I’ve had anyone look after me because I was sick. And even then, no one’s ever done it for free. And I’m pretty sure you know this isn’t part of your job. So my question is, why?”
A thousand thoughts are running through his head, but none of them seem quite right to say out loud. Because he has a desperate crush? Because he’s worried? Because his heart hurts thinking about him all alone sick as he is?
“I care about you. Even though you...hate me, I don’t wanna leave you all alone like this.” Dell laughs softly, and Bo feels his heart sink until he hears him speak.
“Why would you think I hate you?”
“It’s...it’s obvious.” Dell laughs again, this time breaking into a fit of coughs.
“Christ, Bo.” He shakes his head and pushes his hair off his face. His hands are shaking. “I don’t have the energy or the lung capacity to talk about this right now.” He’s takes an unsteady breath. “Listen, I would be...I would be so fucking grateful if you wanted to look after me. If you wanted to.”
For once, Bo doesn’t over think his answer.
“Of course I do.” Dell smiles and swallows hard.
“Thank you.” His voice is almost a whisper. Bo’s frozen for a few moments before he breaks their gaze.
“Have you taken anything?” Dell looks confused. “For the fever.”
“The fever?” Bo finally cracks a smile himself.
“I mean, I haven’t checked yet or anything but I think it’s safe to say you’ve got a fever.” He reaches out to test Dell’s forehead but pauses. “can I?”
“Go for it.”
The moment his palm connects with Dell’s overheated skin he winces. It’s worse than he was anticipating. The blonde is absolutely on fire. He tests his cheek, then again with the back of his hand.
“Your hands are freezing,” Dell mumbles, and Bo wants to push his damp curls out of his eyes but he just pulls his hand back. Dell seems almost disappointed.
“No, you’ve got a fever, it just feels like it. I’ve gotta get a thermometer though to see what exactly we’re dealing with. What else is....what’s going on? Other than the cough.”
“Head hurts. My nose is a fucking mess, too.” Bo hasn’t seen very much but even still he knows what Dell’s talking about. It’s red, peeling a bit around the base of his nostrils, and every few moments he gives a wet sniffle.
“Well you definitely need some ibuprofen. And water too, probably. And some tissues.”
“I think that’s a fair conclusion.” He shivers, and Bo gets up to close the window.
“Alright, well I’ll just go back -” Dell cuts him off.
“No, no, I’ve got everything. In the bathroom,” he says, slumped further on the couch, still shivering.
“Yeah?” Bo’s a bit surprised. It doesn’t seem like Dell would’ve ever had the need for a thermometer. Ibuprofen is a little easier to understand, but even then he can’t picture Dell ever needing any sort of help. Dell just nods, and Bo walks to the bathroom door, too aware of Dell’s eyes on him. He opens the medicine cabinet and though he’s not sure what he expected, it certainly wasn’t shelves of cold and flu remedies. Even more surprising is that they almost all look half-used.
“You getting lost in there?” Dell calls, and Bo snaps back to the current task, grabbing the thermometer and one of the few bottles of ibuprofen. When he steps back into the larger room, Dell’s slumped on the couch, wrapped in a heavy blanket.
Bo sits down on the coffee table in front of him and their knees touch. He fiddles with the thermometer for a moment before handing it to Dell, who places it under his tongue.
“You’ve got a lot of stuff in there,” he says after a few awkward moments of silence and Dell gives a tired smirk.
“Are you going to ask me about it or is that just an observation?” He says around the small device. Bo tries to backpedal.
“No, I’m - I was just...I wasn’t expecting it, that’s all.”
“And why not?” Dell seems to find it funny, making Bo nervous.
“I don’t know, I guess -” Dell cuts him off.
“I don’t look like someone who gets sick very often?” He asks, and Bo swallows hard.
“Yeah, I mean I...” Bo tries to think of something that would indicate Dell’s lack of vulnerability. “You’re just always so perfect, I guess.” He almost regrets the words. Is it too obvious to call him perfect? The thermometer beeps before Dell can reply, and Bo’s glad. Well he’s glad until he sees the reading - 102.4. The worry must show on his face because Dell starts to speak.
“What is it?” His voice is so weary.
“102.4, that’s -” Dell cuts him off before he can finish.
“Not so bad. I could probably manage on my own if you don’t want to stay. I wouldn’t hold it against you,” he says, and while for a second Bo thinks it might be some weird guilt trip manipulation tactic, Dell looks completely genuine. Nonchalant even. Bo bites his lip, debating what his response should be. He’s pulled back to reality when Dell starts to sit up.
“Hey, it’s alright, what do you need?” He puts a hand on his shoulder, easing him back into the cushions. Dell looks confused.
“I was gonna grab some water,” he says, and Bo nods.
“Ok, just let me know I’ll get whatever you need.” He’s about to get up when he pauses. “Listen, if you were implying that you want me to leave, I definitely will, but trust me I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t want to be.”
“I don’t want you to feel obligated to work without pay,” he says, and Bo sighs.
“It’s not...I’m...” He doesn’t know how else to phrase it without just admitting he cares for him, and he decides it’s not the most pressing thing to address at the moment. “Whatever. Where’s -”
“The kitchen.” He nods toward an archway near the back of the room, and Bo nods.
“Alright. I’ll be right back.” He’s already in the small - yet somehow still expensive looking - kitchen when he hears Dell speak again.
“You don’t need to tell me you’ll be right back. I can make the assumption,” he calls, and Bo smiles. He’s a little shocked when he opens the fridge. He was expecting it to be empty - the royal family has a chef on staff - but it’s got a decent supply. It’s healthy food too, which makes Bo smile a bit as well. It’s exactly what he’d expect from Dell, it’s the perfection that seeps into everything he touches. There’s no beer, no half-empty ketchup, no old take out containers or anything that could be considered “dessert”. Even in this place where presumably no one but Dell should ever be, everything is perfect. He grabs a bottle of water and walks back into the main room.
“You cook a lot?” he asks, and Dell nods, taking the bottle. He manages to open it even though his hands are shaking. “I wouldn’t have guessed.” He takes a small sip.
“I guess I’m just a surprising person, hm?” Bo’s almost totally distracted from the matter at hand, but when he gets a better look at Dell’s appearance, he feels a small pang of worry in his chest. He’s really shivering, his cheeks are flushed and his breath is unsteady, his lips chapped from breathing through his mouth.
“Alright, time for ibuprofen.” He grabs the bottle and shakes two into his palm, passing them to Dell who downs them with a swig of water. He starts to cough right after, almost doubling over and burying his face in his sleeve. Bo’s anxious listening, they sound so desperate, trying so hard to expel the illness that sits so heavy in his chest, moving enough to make his cough sound deep and painful, but not enough to give any real relief.
When he’s finally done he’s almost hyper ventilating trying to catch his breath, and Bo wishes there was something he could do more than just sit and watch. He places a careful hand on Dell’s shoulder and hands him back the water, which Dell drinks eagerly. He lets out a shaky little laugh.
“Sorry, that’s so gross,” he says, his voice still a bit raw from the coughing fit. Bo frowns.
“It’s not, don’t worry about that.” Dell seems to relax a little beneath his hand, closing his eyes, and Bo uses to other to feel his forehead. He probably should’ve asked first, but Dell doesn’t seem to mind, letting out a small contented sigh. He’s really burning, Bo thinks it’s probably safe to say this is the worst fever he’s ever felt. He pulls his hand away. “I’m gonna grab something,” he says, and Dell nods, eyes still closed.
He grabs a washcloth from the bathroom and soaks it in cold water. He wringing out the excess when he hears Dell’s voice.
“Are you coming right back? You didn’t specify.”
“How can you be so sick and still have energy to tease me?” He asks, arriving back at the couch. He presses the washcloth to Dell’s forehead and he lets out a small sigh of relief, eyes fluttering shut.
“Fuck,” he breathes, and Bo moves it to the side of his throat.
“I haven’t used one of these in forever,” he mumbles, and Bo furrows his eyebrows.
“What do you mean?” He flips the compress over, laying the cool side back on his forehead.
“They’re hard to use. You have to lay really still.” Bo decides it’s finally time to ask the question that’s been eating at him.
“You get sick a lot?” Dell opens his eyes, a little smile on his lips.
“What gave you that idea, Sherlock?” Bo gives an indignant laugh.
“I mean I thought so but, I don’t know, it seemed like a personal question.” Dell raises his eyebrows.
“Well I think it should be pretty obvious. Considering how much we see each other.”
“What?” Bo’s very confused now, and Dell looks surprised, but expression quickly changes to one of understanding.
“How many times have you seen me sick, Bo?” It sounds like a trick question.
“Once. Today. Or twice I guess if you count yesterday.” Dell rubs his eyes.
“Well my mother hired you in January, I believe, so that’s two months. In winter no less.” He stops a moment, as if he’s calculating. “I’ve honestly been sick more often than not, I just thought you knew.”
“What? No, of course I didn’t know. I never - fuck, Dell, I -” His heart feels like it’s breaking. Dell, on the other hand, looks sort of amused.
“It’s ok, really. I like you a little more now though to be honest. I always assumed you just didn’t give a shit, but -”
“Of course I do! I -” He stutters, trying to sift through his memories to find out how he missed this. He’s shocked into silence when Dell puts a hand on his shoulder, then on his cheek. His expression has softened.
“It’s ok. Really. I’ll admit I try not to let it interfere with anything, I guess it’s just obvious to me because I’m the one who feels like shit, but I guess it’s good to hear the facade is almost flawless. You noticed this morning, but I guess this is also an exceptionally shitty cold or flu or whatever.” He takes his hand back, and only then Bo registers how warm it was. He sets his jaw.
“Do you wanna sleep here or in bed?” Dell seems taken aback.
“Uh, bed, I guess?” Bo gives a quick nod and pulls him up, supporting him for the short distance. When he’s seated on the bed, Bo wordlessly starts to collect the thermometer, his water bottle, the extra blanket. When he gets back, he slides the thermometer under his tongue.
“What’s going on?” He says around the device, and Bo gives him a serious look.
“I’m making up for the last two months.”
26 notes
·
View notes
Aw those hcs are adorable!
I like that green tea is such a staple for 1146 even cells who know him treat getting accepted by him like a pet owner does when their cat bring them a dead animal offering. At least he brings them tea instead of a dead germ. XD
I’m now being reminded of the S1 ending where Platelet sits on top of 3803’s cart. Only replace it with NC now. I can imagine all the weird looks they get when she’s carting around adult Normal Cell like he’s a child. Neither of them care. NC probably just gives off a smug ‘you wish a strong pretty girl would give you a ride on her cart all over the body’ (and he’s right. Some are jealous). But I also see Leader Platelet come running after them because she’s used to 3803 doing that for her too. Instead of making NC leave, Leader Chan plops gerself in his lap all three go on a adventure together (3803 is a disaster and curiosity magnet so eventually things could always get wild).
It’s funny to think NC is in fact very protective of her. But because he’s a Normal Cell now he’s much weaker then her. She ends up acting more protective over him and carrying him around when he can’t walk. That or she gives him piggy back rides. It probably takes him awhile to get used to this new reversal. But then he’s like 'eh she’s caring about me and that’s all that matters’. He definitely still acts very protective but he’s more of the nagging type like 5100. But he does it more grumpily. He’s actually bonded with 5100 when it comes to worrying about 3803 (which is pretty ironic). The only difference is he focuses more on how tough she is too and likes it when 3803 goes off the beaten path and does things a RBC isn’t known to do. Since 5100 thinks so little outside the box, NC also sasses her but she sasses right back and then they can squabble (in a non hostile way that never goes to the levels he and 1146 squabbles can) about how she thinks 3803 should just do as expected of her. While NC praises 3803 for doing more then what’s expected of her and even uses the time she called the Calvary on Cancer as an example (which is also ironic).
Lol, 1146 takes awhile to figure out he’s not over senstive about NC acting affectionate with 3803 because of the past (at least post finally accepting NC in their lives by giving him tea). He’s just straight up jealous and territorial. He’d hate any guy kissing her on the cheek. 3803 doesn’t mind because she actually gets that NC is not doing this out of romance (he’s just as dumb if not dumber then 1146 when it comes to that). Granted she knows he has a crush. But he’s also still very affection starved and not very good at getting social norms. He’s trying his best though and these days wouldn’t dare do anything to upset her. After awhile she notices 1146’s sheer grumpiness and NC tells her he’s upset he’s too shy to kiss her cheeks too. 3803 being 3803 quickly tells 1146 what NC told her and she informs him 'of course he can kiss her cheek too’. She waits for him to kiss her cheek but he just stands there frozen like all the life got sucked out of him. NC is trying not to laugh out loud. 3803 gets tired of waiting so - thinking it might help - she gives a quick kiss on the cheek to 1146. Then his clothes explodes off him as his face turns more red then her hair. Normally NC would get a little jealous but even he’s in a little awe by the reaction. 0_0
Normal Cell would cry tears of joy that NC managed to find two friends. That’s a lot more then he expected. He’d be such a busybody like that overly enthusiastic momma bear who’s so proud and invested in her child. NC would stop him from getting too excited over 3803 being his girlfriend because she’s not. Normal Cell also shows 1146 all of NC’s most embarrassing photos because he sees 1146 as a nice upstanding guy who is like NC’s best friend. 1146 is polite enough to leave before laughing his head off and subtly making fun of NC about it later. That’s the quickest way to get NC to behave once he realizes all the blackmail ammo 1146 has on him.
Aw, I bet 1146 gives the best hugs to 3803. He just envelopes her into his big arms and she feels so safe and warm in them. Sometimes when he’s particularly happy or sentimental, he sweeps her off her feet for a tight hug while she laughs.
I can imagine 1146 just has his iconic dour face when he’s carrying them and thinking he’s the only adult in this trio.
NC would make fun of 1146 for liking boring vanilla best. 1146 would defend his choice saying it’s vanilla Bean! Very different from ordinary vanilla. Then he’d point out lemon suits NC just fine because they’re both so sour to deal with.
Aw NC trying his best to find a good dynamic with 1146 and 1146 leaving to cool off instead of exploding at him. They’d definitely have a ways to go and NC would be grateful deep down how patient and kind 1146 really is with him. The sass will always remain but NC is definitely forcing himself to learn how to not hurt others when previously that’s what his entire existence was about. NC probably cried once when he accidently made 1146 REALLY upset. Then 1146 ended up getting flustered and giving NC way more treats then he could consume in one sitting because those tears would stop coming. That’s their weird dynamic.
NC will never stop treating 3803 like a queen. Making her happy is the one thing that eases his guilt a little. She definitely sees herself acting like a big sister for him and always accepting his gifts. She’ll pat him on the head and hope someday he’ll hate himself a little less for a life he hadn’t picked. Her forgiveness is the one thing that helps him sleep at night.
As much as NC would never admit it, he doesn’t want to ever move out of Normal Cell’s apartment. He knows he’ll get lonely without his creator and sees him as a security blanket despite all his visible annoyances over said mentor’s clingy ways. He’ll probably treat Normal Cell’s next clone like that annoying younger sibling he never asked for and is his mortal enemy by birth (you know in a normal sibling way).
~~~
Hiya! Are you new? Your email is unfamiliar to me....
Hahaha, now I’m getting images of 1146 covered head to toe in blood while dragging around the mutilated remains of a bacterium for his friends. It’s somewhat adorable but also terrifying.
That’s a great callback! I actually wanted to reference that time in 3803/NC’s relationship back in RBA (basically one of the first times they meet and 3803 saves Cancer by running for her life with Cancer hanging on for dear life in her cart). But the reference to the season one ending is also a great detail! And yes, Leader Platelet (and a few of the other platelets), also like to ride on 3803′s cart.
(Sometimes, other RBCs will get their own platelets and they’ll go have races around the body).
I am living for the friendship with NC and 5100. Although I’m pretty sure 5100 will never know the true story behind the kidnapping and NC’s true origins, they will surely bond over 3803. (But let’s face it, NC gets 3803 roped up in his shenanigans and it’s up to 5100, 4201, or 1146 to bail them out. And no. NC regrets nothing).
Protective NC is best NC, even when he’s being a sassy little child when doing so.
1146′s CLOTHES EXPLODE??? HEHAHAHAHAH! 3803 is left mystified while Dendritic Cell swoops in for a few photos.
(NC pays Dendritic Cell with a few humorous stories of 1146 in exchange for a few photos... to which Normal Cell promptly sticks into his budding scrapbook for NC).
1146 gives the best hugs. Sometimes, when he swoops 3803 in his arms, he sees NC looking off to the side, an angry blush on his cheeks. 1146 isn’t one to gloat, but that’s probably what he’s doing when he sees the look on NC’s face.
(Don’t worry... some day down the line, 1146 hugs him... but they will never admit it).
If there’s anyone interested in the Abnormalities verse and also happens to be an artist or likes to doodle... please draw grumpy 1146 holding his two friends like they’re a sack of grapes? Please? It would make my day, haha.
Hehehe, I gave NC lemon flavor because of his “lime green eyes”. But he is definitely pretty sour to begin with.
Aw NC trying his best to find a good dynamic with 1146 and 1146 leaving to cool off instead of exploding at him. They’d definitely have a ways to go and NC would be grateful deep down how patient and kind 1146 really is with him. The sass will always remain but NC is definitely forcing himself to learn how to not hurt others when previously that’s what his entire existence was about. NC probably cried once when he accidently made 1146 REALLY upset. Then 1146 ended up getting flustered and giving NC way more treats then he could consume in one sitting because those tears would stop coming. That’s their weird dynamic.
^^^ I won’t expand on it, because you worded it better than I ever could. You broke their relationship into their barest essentials.
Oooohhhh, I love the image of 3803 patting him on the head. While NC isn’t that much taller than 3803, the height difference is still apparent. I can just imagine that whenever NC gets really down or especially guilty, he hunches over himself, becomes smaller, and bows his head (reminiscent of his first reincarnation as a child trying to hide from the big, bad immune cells). When 3803 sees this, she immediately goes into mother/big sister mode and starts patting his head and smoothing his locks. Maybe she even kisses him on the forehead/cheek (depending on how she’s still dealing with the trauma).
After that, NC beams at her, but doesn’t sass or say anything.
He’s content with what she has given him.
Hehehe, I bet Normal Cell has to explain that there are rules and regulations to this sort of thing. So, they compromise. NC and Normal Cell will live on the same floor of their apartment complex and NC gets to visit whenever he wants.
(He totally comes over every day just to annoy his younger sibling).
Thanks for the lovely add ons! They were really cute and adorable! :D
2 notes
·
View notes
403 Transactional Wealth Versus Passive Wealth
http://moneyripples.com/2020/06/18/403-transactional-wealth-versus-passive-wealth/
Chris Miles, the "Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor," is a leading authority on how to quickly free up and create cash flow for thousands of his clients, entrepreneurs, and others internationally! He’s an author, speaker, and radio host that has been featured in US News, CNN Money, Bankrate, Entrepreneur on Fire, and spoken to thousands getting them fast financial results.
Listen to our Podcast here:
https://www.blogtalkradio.com/moneyripples/2020/05/29/403--transactional-wealth-versus-passive-wealth
---------------------------------------------------------------Hello, my fellow Ripplers! This is Chris Miles. Your Cash Flow Expert and Anti-Financial Advisor. And we welcome you out for a wonderful show. Show that's for you, about you. Those of you that work so hard for your money, but you're ready for your money to start working hard for you. Now! You want that freedom. That cash flow. That prosperity. Today! Not 30 or 40 years from now. So you can do what you love to be with those that you love doing whatever the heck you love. Right? But on top of that, it's so much more than creating comfort and convenience. It's so much more than just working because you want to not because you have to, although that's awesome, right? But it's about creating a life of meaning, a life of purpose by being a rippler, creating ripple effects, other people's lives. Because as you are prospered, as you financially create abundance in your own life, you can help the others do the same as well. And that's the exciting thing guys, because as you're liberated, you can help others do the same. And you guys are already a big part of what my ripple effect is becoming, right? The vision that I've had. Thank you so much for making this possible because the fact that you're bingeing on this and sharing this with other people and talking about this and creating conversations, that kind of wealthy conversation, that kind of prosperity is what creates a ripple effect that changes the world in ways that no government or politician can. So guys, thank you so much for being a part of this movement.Here's a reminder. You can check out our website, MoneyRipples.com. There's great blogs on there. There's even the book Beyond Rice & Beans. Seven Secrets. If you have cash today, if you want to find ways to create money. Now, also, if you guys have questions for me, you say, Chris, I'm ready to take it to this next level. I need a plan that works. Something that creates prosperity and cash flow now. Passive income now. Feel free to shoot me an email,
[email protected]. And you can go ahead and find out how to do that.So today I want to talk about something that's been on my mind for a while, right? And this is as I've already alluded to in several episodes, but I want to focus the episode just on this, because there's a massive difference between Transactional Wealth and Passive Wealth, right? Or Transactional Income and Passive Income. Now, so many people will, and I've seen this through the years. People will say, yeah, but Chris, like, so and so that I know is wealthy. They do this. Hey, Chris so-and-so is wealthy. They're buying mutual funds and they've got tens of millions of dollars. Or Chris, I know so-and-so does this.Now here's the key factor. Just because someone makes a good income doesn't mean that they know how to make good money. Now they'll make income, right? They know how to do their work well. If they're a business owner, they're probably good at sales and marketing, which is why they make money, right? That's kind of the given. But the truth is, is that for someone just to make good income actively like actively making income, where they have to keep hustling, keep working, even if it's in their own job or profession, the truth is they don't have any real freedom. They don't know what freedom is like because they're still a slave to make him money. And I started to see this more and more as I started meet more investors, right? Especially some of my investor friends that have these multi mega million dollar businesses. Awesome, massive businesses where they make so much money and they even have that a little bit of a lifestyle to go with it.But they're working overtime hours to get that life. And it kind of makes it kind of begs the question is that the life that you want, do you always want to have to be hunting for your food, always having to kill it? Now here's the thing. Here's a key principle. I want you to remember. I do believe like in the Bible, when God said to Adam and Eve, by the silhouette of your brow, you should work all the days of your life. Now I don't believe he said, Hey, by the sweat of your brow, you should work only to your age, 65. Right? I actually do believe there has to be work involved. You still have to earn your keep. This rent on earth by creating value in serving people and solving problems. And naturally money comes from that too. Especially in certain, most, mostly cases, money will come from it.Not always, but in many, many cases. Right? But there's also this lie too, that people think, Oh, well, passive income. That's the way to go, where I do nothing. And I get something guys that violates the law of the harvest. You can not receive what you don't give. Right? You've got to be a giver. You gotta be giving something to receive something in return. But that being said, I do not believe that you have to work your tail off nine to nine or eight to eight or whatever hours you have to work in order to have a great life. And I learned this the first, you know, when I first started really open up to this idea because I was the guy that I'd love to work. Right. Even when I could retire, I wanted to keep working and do something to keep myself busy. I'm still that way.Even though right now, I'm, you know, I'm able to be retired, right. I was able to get out of the rat race over three and a half years ago. Still. I love having a purpose. I love having a mission. And the ironic thing is I make more money now than I did before, when I was working overtime hours. And I'm working part time right now. But the thing I started realized was I was meet with a business coach, right. We actually got together for lunch. And as she was talking with me, she said, Chris, what are your goals in your business? I said, I want to be like the next Dave Ramsey, but an abundant version of him, right? Not the guy that's scrimping and saving and telling you live on rice and beans, but someone that's actually prosperous, you know, and he's got a massive foot, a hundred to $200 million a year business.Right. So I said, I want something like that. Maybe not a hundred million dollars a year, but Hey, I love 10 or 20 million a year. Her question to me following that was, well why? I said, well, I mean, I feel like that's the, where I have to get to and where to have an effect on people's lives. And she said, well, what are you willing to do for that? You know, I'm like, well, figured out I have to speak and do things. She's like, Chris, let me give you some advice here. So like, I've worked with some of the biggest info network, like the info marketers that are out there, right? People that have sold tens of millions of dollars in their approach programs. If not hundreds of millions, just like I'll tell you, once you hit over 5 million a year, your life will drastically change.She's like, especially if you go with the speaking route, if you go the speaking route, your life is going to be completely different because you're going to be out there speaking all the time, but you won't have a life. So she's like is, you know, are you just doing this for impact? Are you doing this because you want comfort? Because if you want comfort, I know a lot of people that have very scaled down businesses making 300,000 a year, they have more of a life and even more money in some cases. And then people making, you know, three, 10, 20 million a year, she goes to the, I got to hire huge teams. They got massive systems and everything else. And when she said that to me, I said, Oh, that's interesting. I never considered what the lifestyle aspect would be. I always thought about, well, yeah, there's impact.And yeah, the income will be cool, but look at the impact I'm making the world. But based on that model, especially a speaking event model, that would be tough. And so, you know, in that moment, I started to challenge that belief. I thought, well, do I want to keep working my tail off? Or do I want to have a life? Especially a life of my family. You know, the kind of life that really people dream of. You'll probably you dream of as well. So that came to fruition for me, like, especially about five years ago when I went through a divorce and I redid my whole business model, I got rid of the event model. You know, I stopped doing so many events of my own live events. I stopped trying to go and speak all over the country. Now I'm very, very selective with who I speak to.And if at all possible, I'm here. Right here. Right now. Doing what I'm doing. And I said, Hey, I only want to be doing the things that I feel are that light me up the most. And working with the people that led me up the most, the people that actually are fun to work with, not just taking on anybody, because they want to be a client taking on the cut of people that want to work with. And guys that's when my life completely changed, when that focus went away from just revenue generation and instead to profit and lifestyle, everything became different. And then of course, when I focused away from not just trying to create, you know, again, trying to generate revenue in my business, right. Just trying to always kill what I eat. So to speak. Instead of started saying, Hey, well, how could I take some of this money and get to make more money for me?How can I get my money to make babies? Right? I got to make a little money babies running around, you know, I'm already good with the real life babies. I've got six, my own kids. Now how to get money babies working. Right? And so that's when I started looking at like, you know, of course, going back to passive investments, I had to break fear barriers from being burned the last recession and getting back into that again and doing those sort of things and then create residual income streams. Also through my business in different ways where I said, Holy cow! I could stop the active part of my business. Right? Cause if you've heard my previous podcast, I have two active streams of income. One is I do consulting, where I help people create this anti-financial plan, right? Where I'm not a financial advisor or the sorts. I'm telling you by mutual funds.I'm, someone's more guiding you to say, Hey, how do we do things outside of the market? Right? So I had that winning income stream and then the others I'm doing like those infinite banking, life insurance policies, or we get the supercharged tax free savings account and get it to work, to create money twice with your investment money. So those are the two things I've been doing actively, but I'm still doing that just part time. But all the rest, all those other activities or the things are creating passive or residual income for me. And I'm here to tell you that has drastically changed everything in my life. When I stopped being focused on how to just generate revenue in my business, just to keep making more money and went to how do I create a life? That's when everything shifted for me. That's when I started realized, Hey, all these people, I see making millions of dollars on the outside.It looks awesome! But in truth what's her life look like? And not everybody is like that. Like, there's plenty of people with people I've even had on the show that do have a lifestyle. That's awesome! But I've seen many, many cases where some of those people are literally a slave to their work. They want to keep making millions of dollars, but they have to keep hustling. They got to keep creating and keep going. And they feel like there's never an end to it. They feel like they can never stop. There. Therein is where they do not have freedom for you to have real freedom. True freedom. It's about saying, how could I stop doing the act of work that I'm doing and let the passive things work for me, right? That's the key. Now again, you can do that in two different ways. You can create residual streams of income as they call it, or passive streams of income, you know, outside of the active streams of income, right?Residual is the ones you can create. If you're a business owner, you create residual streams through your business. Can you create online products or things that are more, you know, it could be digital, you know, digital type products that you don't have to babysit, right? It's like you don't have to be actively involved. You know, some people, especially now are starting to create a lot of group coaching type programs, right? They're creating some of those things to allow them to have leveraged. It's still an active stream, but there's a lot of residual passive type stuff that comes with it. Especially if they record it and allow it to be on like a database or something that they can access and leverage and use later, you might even record all that stuff prerecorded and say, here, you've got your lessons. Here's 40 lessons. I hope it's not that much.Right. That would be a pain in the butt unless they're like tiny bite sized stuff, you know, but you know, maybe they've got little lessons there. You know, those are things you can leverage. I love the fact that people are no longer wanting my physical CDs. And now they're going on my website on MoneyRipples.com and ordering, you know, and saying, Hey, here's the CD set I want. Like, well, Hey, do you want the digital set? And they say, yes. I say, great. That's one less trip to the post office. Right. You know, that's awesome. So, I mean, those are the kinds of things that are awesome about nowadays. There's things you can create on a residual basis. Know like I've talked about before, like that wealth sharing. I mentioned on a previous podcast, right. Just recently where it's like, Hey, can you create affiliate joint ventures and things of that nature?You know, books, I mean, books could be a source. I never tell people to try to make money off the books, but they can open doors that can be amazing for you. You know? So there's a lot of things you can do there. There's advertising sponsorship, depending on what your business is. There's a lot of different routes you can take, you know, are there businesses, you can kind of join teams with? Where you can help, you know, maybe you've got an office space. Can you use that Leverage office space? Find those assets you can leverage to utilize, to create money with it. You know, we got a show coming out here pretty soon talking about how you can have cell towers. You can lease cell towers to the telecommunications companies and make money off of that, depending on your situation or the kind of, you know, maybe land that you own or property that you own, you can do that kind of thing.So there's all kinds of options that are there. From that standpoint, I call those residual streams. Cause those are more business related. Passive income streams are the things where I say, let's turn your net worth into cash flow, right? How do we take the money you have like maybe the money is sitting in the stock market. Maybe it's money sitting just the same as accounts. I got so many of you coming to me saying, Chris I've already pulled me out of the market. I'm scared even put it back in, even though the market's recovered a little bit, regardless, how do we get this money working for me? Well, cool. What can we do with this? You know, like I just talked to a guy the other day, he said, you know, he had a property that had 200,000 of equity, but he's only making about 150 bucks a month.I said, buddy, that's, that can not happen. And he's like, well, do you think I should do a cash out refinance and get more to cash out. I said, if you do that now you're being the whole thousand months and trying to make money back to break even, I said, you'd be better off selling your property. Taking that equity put into other properties that are actually turned like good turnkey properties, pay a good return. You know, maybe you can make at least a 10 or 12% return. So you made 12% of that money, you know, 200,000 of equity. Now you take that and put into down payments on properties, leverage with mortgages and things like that. Now your cash and cash returns is somewhere between 1600 and 2000 a month. That's much better than 150, I guess, about that leverage. And that's what creates more freedom, right?You know, managing your own expenses, you know, make sure you're wise steward of the money you have. You have coming in and going out to is very important, but to be able to take that money and then turn it into something, working to start paying you each every month without you having to pay, you know, put a whole lot of work into it. Now, granted like someone says buying a property, well, that's not fully passive. I still have to go through the mortgage process and buying process. Yep. That's your, your dues. But the returns on that, I mean, not to mention, less risk is amazing. Like amazing considered compared to, you know, doing like a syndication, you know, or where you're putting money into a fund where you do nothing, like we've mentioned HP on the show, right. You know, you can put money into a fund like that.You do nothing. It's awesome. You know, but at the same, you also have less control. So there's a little bit more risk, but there's less work. So there's that give and take. Alright. Either way. The key point I want you to get from this, is this, is not to focus your life around just creating money, just creating income that you have to work so hard for. And that's okay. That can be your engine to speed up the process to create passive income. But don't make that a longterm thing where you keep it. Especially if you're a business owner, you keep reinvesting in your business and then realize you're just reinvesting and trapping yourself in a job more and more and more a high paying job. But you're stuck. You've got to get that money also in places that allows you to have multiple streams of income that are passive, that are residual, that are coming in after you've put in some upfront work or a little bit of effort, then it pays you on a regular consistent basis.And especially if it's in things that aren't speculative, don't go for these things are paying you 10% a month. A month. I said, not a year, 10% a month. Those things are too good to be true in almost every case. There are some, some exceptions, but those exceptions are so rare that most of you probably wouldn't see those unless you have become more of a master investor yourself. And you're doing things with notes and things like that on your own. But even then that requires a lot of energy and work. That's going to become active income for you, right? So I get that and that's fine, but go for the passive route. That is where I believe true wealth is, is when now you have a life that's rich. A life that allows you the freedom to do what you want with those that you love, right.To be with those you love, especially when they still love you. And to be able to live that life of purpose and meaning, and to be able to give back in greater ways and make this world a better place, creating your own ripple effect. That is the kind of wealth I signed up for. And I hope you do too. Again, if you've got questions, you can always shoot me an email. Like I said, at the beginning of the show, but guys, I want you to have that life of freedom and it requires a mindset shift to go away from just trying to create active wealth and go into passive wealth. Guys. I hope we make it a wonderful and prosperous week and I'll see you later.
14 notes
·
View notes
How Batman: Soul of the Dragon Pays Homage to 70s Kung Fu and Bruce Lee
https://ift.tt/eA8V8J
Batman: Soul of the Dragon sets Gotham’s caped crusader in a vintage martial arts homage. Directed by Sam Liu, who also directed the animated movie version of one of the greatest Batman graphic novels ever published, Batman: The Killing Joke, this is the 42nd project in the ongoing DC Universe Movies series.
However, Soul of the Dragon is an original tale, not based on a precedent comic. Like the eye popping anime-style film Batman Ninja, this is a completely stand-alone story. Batman: Soul of the Dragon is yet another chapter in the many creation tales for Batman. It tells of his martial indoctrination and joining him on this adventure are three of the best martial artists within the DC multiverse: Lady Shiva (Kelly Hu), Ben Turner a.k.a. Bronze Tiger (Michael Jai White), and Richard Dragon (Mark Dacascos).
“It’s a 70s martial arts action-adventure drama with a great sense of humor,” says Dacascos. Like so many Hollywood martial arts stories, Batman: Soul of the Dragon is told in two time periods: the present-day problem and in flashbacks to the original martial arts lessons that offer solutions. It’s a storytelling motif that can be traced back to the pioneering David Carradine’s Kung Fu TV show and Bruce Lee’s iconic Enter the Dragon.
In many ways, Batman: Soul of the Dragon is a tribute to Enter the Dragon, when the Kung Fu and blaxploitation genres were at their height. Richard Dragon is an homage to Bruce Lee’s character ‘Lee’ in Enter the Dragon (just like in so many Jackie Chan films, the name of Lee’s character was the same as his real name). In some scenes, he dons a similar black catsuit as Lee wore when infiltrating Han’s subterranean lair but stops short from yelling ‘Wataaah!’ when fighting.
Enter the Dragon was a game changer for martial arts movies, but it was also in the wake of the popularity of spy films of those days, specifically James Bond. Enter the Dragon is also a spy film, and it came out at a pivotal time for the Bond franchise, the same year that Roger Moore took over 007 in Live and Let Die. The spy film genre was immensely popular during the Cold War of the ‘60s, but by the ‘70s, it was looking to reinvent itself to remain popular. Enter the Dragon had the potential to launch a spy franchise for Bruce Lee, but his untimely and shocking death cut that short. Tragically, he died just prior to the release of the film. In some ways, Richard Dragon makes us ponder what a sequel to Enter the Dragon might have been like.
With his groovy afro and jive talking banter, Ben Turner steals a page from the character of Williams (Jim Kelly) from Enter the Dragon too. Batman is faintly akin to Roper (John Saxon), a token white guy amidst a diverse cast. Even the funky soundtrack by Joachim Horsley echoes the music of Enter the Dragon’s composer Lalo Shiffrin.
“In the 70s I was very impressionable,” reflects Dacascos. “The music brings you right back to that time. I love it. I love Enter the Dragon.”
It’s ironic that Batman would honor Bruce Lee in this way. For many, the Batman TV show of the mid-60s was their first exposure to the Little Dragon. Lee’s earliest Hollywood role was Kato, the chauffeur of The Green Hornet, which became a spin-off series of Batman, running for a single season on NBC in 1966-67.
Who is Richard Dragon?
Batman: Soul of the Dragon is a complete reimagining of Richard Dragon. In the original comic storyline, Dragon was Richard Drakunovski, a Caucasian character. He first appeared in the novel, Dragon’s Fists: Kung-Fu Master Richard Dragon by Jim Dennis, which was published the year after Enter the Dragon premiered (Jim Dennis was a pseudonym, the combination of the two authors’ names Dennis O’Neil and Jim Berry). The character was later adapted to comics by DC.
In the original DC version, Dragon was a classmate of Ben Turner, both of whom trained under O-Sensei (played by the venerable James Hong in Batman: Soul of the Dragon). Lady Shiva was also part of this Kung Fu lineage. O-Sensei’s goddaughter Carolyn Woosan was Lady Shiva’s sister. After Woosan was killed, Lady Shiva was tricked into thinking Dragon was at fault and hunted him to take revenge. Eventually, the trick was foiled so Shiva and Dragon became allies, united against a common foe.
In the comics, the world of Batman doesn’t cross with Dragon’s until much later. Dragon goes on to become a trainer of many DC heroes, notably the first Batgirl, Barbara Gordon. In another story, he helps Batman rehabilitate after sustaining injuries from Bane.
In a later alternate narrative arc, Dragon’s title is usurped by his villainous student, Richard Diaz Jr. This is akin to the Richard Dragon depicted in CW’s Arrow and portrayed by Kirk Acevedo. Bronze Tiger also appears in the Arrowverse portrayed by Michael Jai White, so Batman: Soul of the Dragon marks his reprisal of the role in the animated DC universe (As a side note, David Giuntoli voices Batman for Batman: Soul of the Dragon; Guintoli is married to Elizabeth Tulloch, who plays Lois Lane in the Arrowverse, including the forthcoming Superman and Lois).
However, neither Drakunovski nor Diaz figure into this latest incarnation of Richard Dragon in Batman: Soul of the Dragon. Here, he’s more like a Bruce Lee clone, only cooler. Dacascos didn’t follow the comics or the Arrowverse depiction.
“Yeah, I did not know that at all,” he confesses. “The script was so good that everything I felt that I needed to portray him was already on the page….All of my information for the character I found in the brilliant script that Jeremy Adams wrote and the information that was given to me by our producers and our director Sam Liu.”
Nevertheless, Dragon was a dream role for Dacascos. As a longtime fan of Batman, his favorite live action portrayal was Michael Keaton.
“I love his interpretation,” he says with a laugh. “There’s a sense of humor that he has and he stands out.”
As soon as his manager and agents sent him the script, he was hooked.
“I saw the description of DC Comics, Batman, Richard Dragon. And then I just jumped right into the script and after just a couple of pages, I knew I loved it. And the more I read, the more passionate I was about it. Before I even finished the script, I’d already emailed my representatives back and said, ‘Yes, please, please, please. I want to do this.’” Dacascos was tickled to be cast as his Kung Fu brother. “I’ve been privileged to play a character that is friends with Batman,” gushes Dacascos.
Beyond being a bat-buddy, what really appealed to Dacascos was Dragon’s strong moral compass.
“He’s not ignorant to the fact that evil is there, always has been, is, and will be,” explains Dacascos. “But with his training and his apparent good heart, he is able to maintain that battle with the negative, with the evil and take it on, maintaining his open heart and his sense of humor. I think his sense of humor is a part of his armor. He’s able to deflect with whimsy of the situation. He is a very loyal student, he is a very loyal friend, and I think his force – what drives him – is his love.”
From Stunt Work to Voice Work
By casting Dacascos, White, and Hu, Batman: Soul of the Dragon goes that extra step by placing genuine martial artists into animated roles. Throughout his teen years, Dacascos was a genuine martial arts champion.
“The thing is,” says Dacascos humbly, “my parents are both martial arts teachers.”
That’s an understatement. His father is Grandmaster Al Dacascos, a pioneering master in America who founded his own style of Wun Hop Kuen Do. His stepmother is Malia Bernal, a noted champion and coach of many other champions like Karen Shepherd. “My brother and I were basically forced into our first martial arts tournament at age six.”
Dacascos began his acting career in martial arts films, several of which were groundbreaking. His earliest lead role was in Only the Strong which was the first film to showcase the Brazilian martial art Capoeira. Brotherhood of the Wolf was a unique French period horror Kung Fu mash up that completely broke the mold for the martial arts genre. Having such an extensive background in the martial arts informed Dacascos on how to approach the fight scenes.
“As a martial artist, all I have to do is just think about it and I’m feeling it again,” he says. “So that part felt like going back home. When we were doing the action sequences, I just gave myself space to move around and then take the direction from Sam Liu and went for it…It’s all in your head and in your heart, and of course in your breath.”
Dacascos loved how the fight scenes in Batman: Soul of the Dragon came out, so much so that he’s contemplating bringing it to live action in his own way.
“I thought what would be really fun for me to do is actually in real life physicalize the forms, that form that Richard Dragon does,” he says. “So I’m going to maybe make it a little challenge for myself and learn those moves in real life…I would love to be Richard Dragon in real life. He’s really cool.”
In many ways, Batman: Soul of the Dragon feels more like a creation story for Richard Dragon than a typical Batman story. Batman is almost a secondary character. With Marvel making such strides in diversity with Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings anticipated for summer 2021, DC needs to up its inclusion game. Could this be a stepping stone for Richard Dragon to become his own franchise?
“I hope so,” confesses Dacascos. “I hope that Batman: Soul of the Dragon continues and we do a sequel or series.”
While he is hopeful that there’s a future for Dragon, it’s the spirit of Batman: Soul of the Dragon that he finds most motivating. Like the title says, it’s got a lot of soul. “The thing is, it’s so much more than that because of the lessons that the students learn in the martial arts sequences taught by the wonderful James Hong who plays O-Sensei. The lines that Jeremy Adams wrote are so profound, and like any great teachers, they transcend the martial arts. It’s so much more philosophical and deeper. So, the story has the martial arts action, but it has heart, and it’s sexy, and it still has a great sense of humor.”
cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });
Batman: Soul of the Dragon is a direct-to-video film produced by DC Entertainment and Warner Brothers Animation premiering on digital platforms on January 12, 2021.
The post How Batman: Soul of the Dragon Pays Homage to 70s Kung Fu and Bruce Lee appeared first on Den of Geek.
from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3nzf5HJ
1 note
·
View note
Episode 4: Let’s Ms. Behave
Sources:
Charlotte Corday
The British Museum
Brooklyn Museum
Find A Grave
History Channel
UCL Art Museum
Encyclopedia Womannica (Podcast)
The Blonding of Charlotte Corday
Giulia Tofana
Wut. (Podcast)
History Collection
Historical Post
Medium
Mike Dash
Virginia Hill
The Mob Museum
Encyclopedia of Chicago
Alabama
Further reading/watching: The Damned Don’t Cry (1950 film), Bugsy's Baby: The Secret Life of Mob Queen Virginia Hill (eye roll from Alana), Virginia Hill (1974 film)
Click below for a full transcript of the episode!
Lexi: A brief warning about the following episode of Lady History: this episode contains sensitive topics, such as suicide and murder. If you or someone you know needs help, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. To learn more, visit suicidepreventionhotline.org
Alana: I think my therapist is listening to our podcast.
Haley: Wait what really?
Alana: Yeah. Because I was looking at like our dem– like our listenership and it said a bunch of people in Arlington and I don't know that many people in Arlington. I know like my mom's... my parents’ like family friend from… my dad like went to high school with them and then they introduced my parents and we call her my Arlington mom and so I was like oh maybe it's her but that's too many people to just be her and I think my therapist lives in Arlington and I told her about this so shout out Dr. Sterman.
Haley: I would love–
Alana: If you’re listening.
Haley: –Your next session she's like ‘by the way I don't listen to your podcast’ even though... and just like out herself from… not super listening but also listening we just had…
Alana: I might bring it up. I'm seeing her on Tuesday, virtually obviously, but I’m seeing her on Tuesday.
Haley: ‘Just wondering, do you listen to my podcast?’
Alana: Well I'm going to talk about how like ‘oh I started my podcast and it's doing this this and this for my mental health’ and then be like… just see if she says she’s listening.
Haley: I feel like she wouldn’t though. I feel like she wouldn’t just to…
Alana: I don’t know if she would.
Lexi: Does that cross the like professional boundary?
Haley: Yeah…
Alana: Is that a HIPAA violation?
Lexi: Is it though? It’s only a podcast
Haley: Well none of us are in the medical field.
Lexi: No. We are not.
Alana: Let us know.
Haley: So we can’t have a definitive answer. But I can see someone–
Lexi: Hey if you're in the medical field or are a certified therapist please email us at
[email protected] and let us know if listening to your patient’s podcast violates HIPAA.
(Alana laughing)
Lexi: Thank you. You can also email other stuff there. Don't, don't– you don't have to be a doctor to email us.
Alana: No. I also I have a– because you can do asks on Tumblr, and I have our ask page for the Tumblr– Lady History pod dot tumblr dot com– I have… you can suggest a lady.
Lexi: Please, suggest ladies.
Haley: I would love that.
Lexi: Please suggest ladies to us at Lady History pod dot tumblr dot com.
Alana: You can also DM us, and as previously mentioned if you DM the Instagram that's Lexi and if you DM the Twitter that's me and they're both at LadyHistoryPod. We're gonna plug that again at the end so it's just a constant cycle.
Haley: No one can slide into my DMs. I'll just use one of… if you want to slide into my DMs, use like, the Twitter and just be like this is for Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots and they’ll know it’s for me.
Lexi: Okay if you DM or email any of the accounts, if you need the message to go to Haley, please use that name only. Any messages directed to Haley will not be given to her.
Alana: We’ll be like ‘who’s Haley?’
Lexi: So go back–
Haley: I don’t even know what I said. I forgot.
Lexi: No, so go back–
Alana: Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots and I will never forget it.
Lexi: Just go back, listen to that however many times you need to to get it in your brain, and then use that when you address Haley in any of your communication to our general inbox.
Alana: Hang on, my light went away because I have to go change Haley’s contact info in my phone.
(Lexi and Alana laughing)
Haley: I really hate if like I am interviewed for a job and they’re like… ‘so… Twinklebear McPuss-n-Boots…
(Lexi laughing)
Alana: It was Sprinklebear
Lexi: You didn’t even get it right. She can’t even–
Alana: Sprinkle… Sprinklebear…
(Lexi laughing)
Haley: I used to have a crush on Puss-n-Boots when Shrek first came out.
[INTRO MUSIC]
Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History, the good, the bad, and the ugly ladies you missed in history class. I’m the next best thing to being in the same room as Lexi. Lexi, what's the name of your favorite plant?
Lexi: My favorite plant is probably a pothos. Just really cute, a cute plant, a good plant, grows well, grows well in my climate, has not failed me, has not died, so that is why I love the pothos.
Alana: And also in the virtual studio is Haley. Haley, how’s the weather?
Haley: It's quite gloomy. I am in San Francisco so we're still dealing with the wildfires. But I think it's just Karl the fog today.
Alana: Karl the fog?
Haley: Yeah the San Francisco like fog that just like looms over this bay area is called Karl. He even has a Twitter, a whole kids’ picture book. Karl the fog.
Alana: That's giving me An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green vibes.
Haley: And also, oh, the SF MOMA… the new building of it is Karl the fog. It doesn't– it looks kind of like a… like an old time steam iron, like on an ironing board. But it's like meant to be Karl the fog. Or like blend in. Karl just mushes his way through San Francisco.
Alana: Oh my god that's incredible.
Haley: Yes.
Alana: And I'm Alana and I theme my canvas tote bags based on event.
Lexi Nice. Solid.
Alana: Thank you.
Haley: So can I tickle your tastebuds with a fun fact?
Lexi: Oh… oh, tickle away.
Alana (whispering): Tickle your tastebuds…
Speaker 1: This is either going to be like the best thing I've ever created because like– let me just give you a side note: I thought of this joke while taking shower and was cracking up for ten minutes.
(Alana laughing)
Haley: It's either– it's probably gonna flop. But, with this fun fact– it’s kind of setting the mood for our crime theme and it's about the guillotine and the family of the guillotine, Dr. Joseph– I think his name’s like Ignace? It looks like Ignatio, but it’s like Ignace Guillotin– was so horrified that like their family member invented such like a horrible thing, and if you don't know what the guillotine is, it is basically a big sharp knife that comes down from a pulley, will slice your head off, used in many executions– that they appeal to the French government to change the name and the French government just took it to a step higher and was like no we won't change the name but we will make it one of like the official ways of executing people. more s– to the point that the last execution was like in the 1970s. And this is like across Europe and at least for France it was in 1977. So this is where it gets to my cringy joke because I've used this before. If you want a sick burn while your parents are talking about their childhood and they grew up in like the 60s, 70s, you can just go ‘Pft, the land and time of the guillotine. Such heathens.’ And I like this more than the… the burn that goes like ‘when the dinosaurs roamed’ because dinos just like didn't live when humans lived and it always made me so mad where it’s like I learned that the dinosaurs were born millions of years ago but we have this like iconic just… execution machine that was used for so so long and no one realizes that this was just used until the 70s as a humane way of execution, which like I won't even get into that whole argument. There's so much of a rabbit hole of whether the like guillotine was humane or not. But it's just– it's almost funnier because like it did happen this was an ironic like ‘oh you’re so old you’re like a dinosaur’ this is like ‘you were born when the guillotine was used!’
Alana: Because that's like a burn but it's also true.
Lexi: Yeah. That's the worst kind of burn, I– I mean the best kind of burn because it hurts the worst.
Haley: I once said it to my dad because he was like talking about something when he was like younger and I was like the guillotine just looked at me and was like ‘excuse me?’ I was like ‘you lived during the time of the guillotine, heathen.’ And he was like ‘well…”
Alana: It's true!
Haley: Because he was like ‘no that's like the Middle Ages’ and I was like ‘let me school you on some facts. And that actually is a great segue into my first gal.
Alana: Alright, let's go Haley.
Haley: Uh, so my gal, like Artemisia, we have another one with her own movie. It's an unfortunate movie because I couldn't find it anywhere, but who am I talking about… Charlotte Corday. And other names include… side note, I don’t speak French, I speak Spanish. Please don’t come after me, with my horrible horrible French pronunciations, I had my boyfriend, who speaks some French, pronounce them to me… probably didn't remember anything that he said to me. Her other names are Corday d’Armont, Marie-Anne Charlotte, and now her like more modern name is Charlotte Corday the Assassin. So I love Charlotte as a topic, because other podcasts, like crime, history, women's studies, have covered her to an extent. Like I– you'll see in the show notes I like I've even used her– thanks, Encyclopedia Womannica. But on the other hand, not many people know about her. And they don't even know like her influence with the French Revolution because I've been in like many discussions about like history of crime or what like– the world history that we had to take, and I asked like about her and my even like my history teachers like ‘I don't know who that is’ and everyone just gave me that blank face and it's like wait a minute, this is weird, why isn't this covered. So of course, I'm going to cover it. And let's crack this case wide open before we do a deep dive and go over just like some historical background and some of the people be talking about because I don't want you guys to be lost in this whole mumbo jumbo. So Charlotte was a Girondin sympathizer– again, my French is not good– she came from a family of impoverished aristocrats from a little town outside of Paris, France. And as a noble family she was given the opportunity to go to a formal education, but really this formal education came because her mother and one of her sisters died. And her father was just so grief-stricken and also just couldn't handle the now need to raise two daughters, so he sent them to a Roman Catholic convent so they could get a formal education. During this formal education of hers, she learned about French politics, history of France, and was able to mold her own theories and just ideas about the world around her. Thus, she became a French moderate Republican party member during 1791 and 1793 and this is during the French Revolution.
Alana: I'm guessing that moderate Republican back then doesn't mean the same thing that moderate Republican means now.
Haley: No, not at all. I'll explain more. So that's– this is exactly why I wanted to do our whole kind of let's see the players let's name some names and let's go over some history because just looking at her based on just the woman it's very hard to understand why she's one, seen as a hero; two, seen as a murderous assassin which both are correct in a way.
Lexi: I mean, goals. No I’m just kidding. I’m not condoning murder.
Haley: No so that's basically where she's at in the scope of where she grew up and what role she’ll play in the French Revolution, or what side she was on. And she's also mainly known for murdering Jordian Jean-Paul Marat, and he was on the other side he was Jordian so she was very opposed to his ideals. So again like Alana said is this kind of like what our U. S. politics is like? No, this isn't the Republican Party. However we have two extreme sides and people on one extreme, people on another extreme. That is very much similar. And he was an outspoken leader of the French Revolution to the point where he was the founder of a popular journal, deputy of Paris to the convention, opposed legislation that would hurt the other side, empower him and to Charlotte and other Girondan followers. So now that we cover the big picture ideas and we know the players and we know how extreme both these sides are, let's do our deep dive. She was committed to fighting the Girondist side of the revolution, posing the radical Jacobin faction. So this was right before the Reign of Terror, and why I mention this is because all her actions were to stop a civil war; and the Reign of Terror was a part of the French Revolution that kind of like started the first French Republic and culminated in a series of massacres and like many many public executions. So this is what she tried to stop from happening in French society. However, her whole story and what role she played in the revolution actually caused the Reign of Terror. So that's why for me as– in high school was like why aren't we talking about her and now we're gonna talk about her now. So, we come to the point where our victim Marat was continuing his train of like bloodshed, and was responsible for utter catastrophe, and putting a lot of lives in danger of like the French– like the French people were just terrified of him, to an extent. And that’s why Charlotte just hated him. He was seen as definitely one of the leaders of this one extreme side that had to be taken out. So that's exactly what she kind of planned to do. And she was not in Paris, she was still in another city outside of Paris, France. So, Charlotte stabbed him while he was taking a bath; and that's really the punch line of like her whole story. If you do like a quick Google search you'll get a lot of stuff for her and even in some textbooks that I tried to look at it was just like Charlotte Corday assassin… stabbed Marat in the heart. Really, she stabbed him in a planned assassin while he was taking a bath. I'm gonna just go through the accounts of this whole story because they're not really pieced together in one area and I'm going to piece them together now so you can understand why he was like in a bathtub, why she stabbed him, and so on. Because this just sounds so strange and it's really strange to see this as your history. So the planned assassin started because she wanted, like I said, to stop from a civil war happening in France, and she truly believed that to do this you have to kill one of the leaders; and also to an extent make the other side seem strong in that way. Like if you kill one of the leaders, you prove that the other side is just as strong or stronger. So she originally planned to kill him at a Bastille Day parade to make a huge show of it and this was on July 14th 1793. Unfortunately, or fortunately for her plans in a sense the event was just like it either didn't happen or it became apparent that Marat was not going to be at that public event. So she quickly had to say okay what else can I do, how can… what will be the next step to kill him. On July 13th, so the day before this event was supposed to happen, she was able to get a meet and greet with him or just gain access to him by saying and promising to betray her political side and give some insider secrets– like name names, basically become a traitor. And Marat was like cool you're definitely high up in the Girondin side of it, let you like, come into our area, we’ll hold– like we’ll basically keep you hostage, in a sense, like that's the feel I got… like Marat was also like come to our side because if anything happens you'll be on our turf; and she did. She was like cool, great. You don't know I'm gonna kill you, you think I'm gonna come and like give you all my secrets and then you'll protect me in a way. So Marat was having this meeting in the bathtub, but this was a very normal occurrence for him because he had a terrible skin disease or infection that he would just be in the bath all the time, like the water soothed him. So he was just very vulnerable, but that was his normal state– like nothing was wrong with him taking a meeting in the tub… so like she could be alone with him. It would be more weird if they were just walking around in the streets together. And instead of having this whole conversation that Charlotte said she would, she took this knife out of her bodice that she was just like hiding there and stabbed him in the chest.
Haley: He died almost immediately; and she actually waited for the police to come. She did not run away– she waited and confessed, essentially. She was proud of what she did, she wanted this assassination like the public assassin– assassination to still have some sort of effect on the public to show that her side did it to the other side, she is responsible for ma–Marat, and she did it as this political leader, in a sense. So at the trial, she allegedly proclaimed ‘I killed one man to save a hundred thousand’ and she kept reiterating that this was in fact a planned assassination, this wasn't out of passion. She took some thought, even wrote down like accounts and like had this whole… I saw like some people called it a journal or like statement– different written statements basically on her thoughts of an upcoming civil war and what she thought she was doing to help prevent that. She was also able, before the trial she was able to write down like write a letter and write her thoughts, feelings, concerns to her father. So her father was still alive and was able to get this kinda like last testimony of hers. And of course during this trial because she did essentially plead guilty… she was ordered to be executed via guillotine just four days after the murder; so July 17th 1793. And another quote from a lawyer from all this whole trial came from I think this was a man named Vergniaud, but I couldn't find this quote as in from like a reputable source as yes this was him, so could have been just another lawyer and not this guy. However, someone as a witness to this whole trial on this whole ordeal said ‘She is leading us to our death, but she is showing us how to die’ and it was because he, as a lawyer, saw this whole thing, saw her whole plan, and knew okay this is going to become a massive shit show. Like this won't end well. She is not preventing a civil war; she actually just started a whole other battle. However, she is showing us how to die with dignity, and showing how to like own up to the actions and just just die. Essentially die because a lot of people through the Reign of Terror did die. So you thought I'd be done– and I know this is gonna be my longest but this is such a great great story– because now we get into her overall death legacy, and we do know a lot of things, unlike Amelia Earhart where we just don't know what happened to her after death. A lot of this we still have artifacts and evidence of. She overall became this French savior, like the savior of French society in her circle. Months after her death, there are just so many portraits of her in different scenarios; short hair, long hair– like I needed to go back and make sure these were the same Charlotte Corday and if there could have been multiple Charlotte's just to make sure that these images looked so vastly different. And it was because people wanted to show that she was just this holy woman and ladies now weren't the ones who are supposed to be stuck in the kitchen with raising the kids. They had the power to do something in life and in society, but they also had a spin on it, so like– like I said, she was seen as a savior, this holy woman, goddess… like they even used her Christian name so Marie-Anne Charlotte, which she– to my knowledge, and to my research didn't necessarily go by that name. But there are definitely images of that name and her with very fair skin, white, brunette hair, looking very womanly and accentuating her womanly features. So that really pissed off the other side. Like all Marat’s supporters, they were absolutely flabbergasted that she was getting such a reputation. They thought this can't be happening; she just murdered one of our political leaders, and she was executed for it, why is everyone trying to kind of put this holy cap on her. And yes, that worked to an extent, like their outcry, because like yes she did murder someone. But it didn't help enough, and there were women in French society who did try to distance themselves from her and just for ideas of what women should be like. But, Charlotte did such a good job at like the legend of her as a woman, even before she died, that it didn't matter. Like I read an article about whether she had blonde hair or chestnut brown hair from a 2004 academic article; like this is still being discussed. And she had a part of her reputation– like she knew that whether it started a civil war or not she needed to form her own reputation. And there's even accounts that she witnessed the paintings and drawings of her that would be published and printed post-execution, and she gave comments. She was like no no no no, make me look more like a schoolgirl; or like make me more with curly hair. I don't really know the specifics but it was documented that she would give kind of suggestions on how she would look like. So while she did it, she tried so hard to like make herself look like this holy woman, and yes it did work. Marat, when he died, one of his very close friends, Jacques-Louis David painted the classic portrait or classic image, not portrait The Death of Marat, which is capturing the scene of his death and that is still considered like a classic image and the classic picture from– especially from the French Revolution. So I don't– I don't want to go as far as saying either Charlotte's portrayed as this holy one or this heinous, murderous, like scoundrel because both of them have lasted to this point in history that no one can make up their mind whether this was like a good thing that happened or a bad thing that happened. And I don’t even– I don’t even want to put out like in the universe whether we should have the discussion; if we should say like yes or no. I just wanna give you the facts and let you kind of like decide but that is Charlotte Corday.
Lexi: She is very interesting.
Alana: Yeah that's real cool. That's fun. That was a good transition for… from the guillotine to…
Lexi: Yes, good choice.
Alana: Charlotte Corday. I’m glad we let you go first.
Lexi: Alana hit us. Hit us with it. Don't hit us please don't hit me.
Alana: I won’t hit you. Okay so I will be talking about Giulia Tofana. Um.. Ooooh Haley's face, I'm so excited. I feel like– I hope I do this justice. Oh no. She is Giulia but it’s spelled G-I-U because she's Italian. Okay. So. I like to give credit as we've seen in the past like where I have first found out about my stories. And so I first found out about Ms. Tofana– I should I should call her Giulia not Ms. Tofana because there’s another Tofana, her mother’s name is also Tofana. I heard about this for the first time on Wut. W-U-T which is another great edutainment podcast by women. I'm gonna promo them without needing a sponsorship or a collab because women supporting women. So if you like us, go check them out. That was fun. They're not specifically women's history they're just kind of fun facts in general so not as niche as us but still pretty cool. And then I heard about that podcast from my friend Jesse on Twitter… I think we're friends I don't know I think we're friends… so shout out to Jesse. So Giulia Tofana, G-I-U because she's Italian, lived in the seventeenth century. Exact dates are kind of weird because she was a woman and not highborn. Best guess she was born in Palermo in Sicily. Her mother was executed for poisoning her father, possibly because he was abusive. This is a thing– like a running theme that we’ll see it later. Also later, Giulia's husband died mysteriously, probably also poisoned, probably also abusive. So she moved to Rome at some point in the 1630s-ish, probably, as a widow with her daughter to sell cosmetics and be apothecaries and poison people. Dun dun dun…
Alana: So women in the seventeenth century have so many options. They can be sex workers, they can be essentially auctioned off to almost always abuse of older men and then later if their husbands died become respected widows. Those are your options. So many! So many options! What– how are you going to pick, so many things.
Lexi: The amount of choices is staggering.
Alana: Paralyzed by choice, really. My sources call these women ‘aspiring windows’ as if they are gold diggers and not battered women with no escape. I love– I love that like my running theme is criticizing my sources. That's my thing. Giulia crafted essentially her own poison. Created her own poison, or what by all accounts… she was the one who came up with this. Between like her and her mother and her daughter they came up with this poison called aqua tofana, named after her. It's a combination of arsenic and belladonna and lead, which are things that are already in cosmetics at the time but not quite lethal, still have problems, but not lethal unless they're ingested. And so having these things on a vanity looks totally normal. And so Giulia, as someone who experienced abuse, who had watched her mother get executed for defending herself, essentially… I am not condoning murder, and I know it's never good to say something at the beginning of a sentence like ‘I'm not condoning murder’ and then doing ‘but’... I feel like… there are no options.
Lexi: Self defense.
Alana: Self defense.
Lexi: And it seems very clear– again, we don't know the whole situation but it seems very clear that she was in a bad situation.
Alana: A bad situation. Yeah
Lexi: We are not the judge, jury, or the executioner so we can't say.
Alana: So she, having probably been abused and having watched her mother probably been abused and watched her mother get executed for essentially defending herself… she's going to help these other women get out of their marriages in such a way that it can't be traced. Because this poisoning with this mixture of belladonna and arsenic and lead, it takes really long for someone to die. Really long is like two to three days, but it also looks like natural causes or another illness which always happened in the 1600s. People got sick and died and that was just normal. And it gave these men time to get their affairs in order and to confess their sins and in a very Catholic area at a very Catholic time you like automatically got into heaven as long as you confessed your sins. So since these people had time to confess their sins, our murderess wouldn't have to feel so guilty that she was condemning her husband to hell even though he was probably hurting her. It only takes four to six drops to kill someone, depending on their size and all of that other stuff. And another side fact, side fun fact: Mozart, who nobody knows how Mozart died, Mozart wholeheartedly believed that he was poisoned with aqua tofana, but nobody knows. I feel so good that Haley is just nodding fervently. I feel like I'm doing a good job. Thank you for that.
Haley: I've awkwardly read so much on arsenic poisoning. Just so much so, but yes you are correct. There are probably just so many people who died of arsenic poison in the 1600s because autopsies weren’t like what we have today where you can do a toxicology, so so many people would seem like they were getting ill, because a lot of the times it just looks like a common cold or flu-like symptoms, they just weren't feeling good. But then they would die so now people do toxicology because it's a thirty year old man with no pre-existing conditions. But when you're talking about it in the 1600s it's like ‘oh they got sick we don't have modern medicine to help out.’
Alana: Nobody knows what's happening, essentially. It's like ‘oh no another person got sick.’ So Giulia Tofana sold this with her daughter and some employees at this family business, essentially, which is a weird way to think about it– that the family business is murder. They operated like this for about fifty years, for decades. And… at least the estimated number is something like six hundred plus people died because she sold their wives poison. But she got caught, and legend has it– and there are so many foggy details but this seems way too specific so I think like somebody exaggerated but, one of her clients who had bought the aqua tofana to poison her husband had poisoned a bowl of soup but decided, ‘no, I can’t. I can’t kill someone’ and dramatically knocked it out of his hand. And that's where I am thinking this… somebody exaggerated. Somebody made this up because that's way too specific. But she stopped her husband from eating the soup and confessed her crimes and turned in Giulia Tofana and her daughter and their three employees at the business. And all of them were executed. Under torture, of course, it's the seventeenth century, she turned on a bunch of her clients as well. So a bunch of her clients were also executed. Some of them were not executed, because they claimed that they didn't know that it was poison and it was just ‘oh no, I spilled some of my lotion in my husband’s soup… Oops. Oopsie poopsies I’m only like fourteen I don't know any better.’ I made myself laugh with that one I’m sorry. But those people were spared. So there is something to… was Giulia a hero, was she a murderess, could both of those things be true…
Lexi: Was she an anti-hero?
Alana: She's kind of an anti-hero. I think that's what we’re going for.
Haley: I like that, I like anti-hero.
Alana: I think– I also think like–
Lexi: Like a Robin Hood, but murder.
Alana: Batman, but murder. Does Batman kill people?
Lexi: Robin Hood stole things, he didn't kill anyone. This is like the Robin Hood of murdering people.
Alana: Sure.
Lexi: It's like murder the rich, give to the wife?
Alana: Vigilante!
Lexi: I don't know. Vigilante murder, yeah.
Haley: So far we’re on the track of like ‘our criminals are good, question mark?’
(Alana laughing)
Lexi: Mine was definitely a criminal, but we'll get in that.
Alana: Well, I am done. So, Lexi let’s get into that.
Lexi: What a segue! Okay. So my lady, though definitely also had a lot of background trauma as it seems that a lot of these ladies had definitely did crime. So we'll just jump in. Have you guys ever heard of the queen of the mob?
Haley: Yes. I'm so excited that you're doing this one.
Alana: Maybe. You'll have to tell me her name.
Lexi: Okay.
Haley: This is truly like my favorite episodes so far, and I like hate when people like get really into criminals like some people, like for Jeffrey Dahmer, people love him, think he's like the most beautiful man, same with Ted Bundy, and that's not where my head is at.
Lexi: That’s creepy.
Haley: I have a true fascination with the history of crime, death, medicine, and how our society perceives it now. When I say I love these people or I love these stories that is not where I'm going.
Lexi: You're not doing the whole crime fandom crush thing.
Haley: No.
Alana: I have seen people get like Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer's signatures tattooed on themselves.
Lexi: That’s creepy.
Haley: Yeah
Lexi: And I don't condone that.
Alana: No we don't like that.
Lexi: But you can be interested in crime especially because as someone who has taken courses in the forensic realm… and who likes bones, and likes that kind of thing, I think you can be interested in the human phenomenon.
Alana: As academics.
Haley: That’s where we’re at for me.
Alana: Not as fanatics.
Lexi: Yes, yes.
Haley: I was listening to like you guys speak and kind of like going back in my head like oh, I seem like such a psycho when I’m like ‘I love Charlotte’ like she is just a fascinating human.
(Alana laughing)
Lexi: Well now we’ve clarified which is good.
Haley: She assassinated someone. And assassinations aren’t swell.
Lexi: But like when you think about like what is interesting on TV, or like what is interesting in our fiction, it's because humans have a general interest. So–
Haley: I wanna write a whole paper on that. Just truly that whole concept.
Lexi: So the queen of the mob, Virginia Hill. You can learn about her at the Mob Museum, people are really really fascinated with her and her story is really interesting. And she was born on August 26, 1916 in a place called Lipscomb, Alabama. I might have said that wrong, you know general– general reminder I say things wrong sometimes. She was born on her father's horse farm. Her father was abusive and he actually beat her and her siblings when they were children and one day she got really fed up with him attacking her and her little siblings so she hit him with a hot skillet in self defense. At the age of fourteen, Virginia married a man named George and three years later the couple moved to Chicago. When they got there she dumped him because you realize the world is a lot bigger than her hometown in Alabama, and so seventeen year old Virginia wanted to start her life anew. At the time, the 1933 Chicago Century of Progress Exposition, which is a World's Fair style event, and it was conceived to bring hope in the wake of the Great Depression that was happening. So Virginia took a job dancing, like as a shimmy dancer, so she had a really unique–
Alana: What– what does shimmy dancer mean? Like a go-go dancer? Like a str– like what?
Lexi: I think you dance shimmy like you shake back and forth and you wear tassels, I believe.
Alana: Dream job.
Lexi: But someone feel free to correct me.
Haley: Yeah, I was thinking one of those 1920s cigarette girls.
Lexi: Yeah that could probably be it because this is a similar era.
Haley: Like they would have like the thing that went over them holding a plate platter like tray that they would just like walk around, dance around, and you can buy stuff from them.
Lexi: Yeah. It could possibly be akin to that. When the fair ended, Virginia became a waitress at one of Al Capone's old haunts the San Carlo Italian Village, which is a restaurant not a town. I had to Google that. Though Capone was at that time in prison, he went to prison in 1931, the community of criminals that he had built was still thriving, and it was– it was in this role as a waitress serving tables of America’s mobsters that Virginia met the man who would change her life. His name was Joe Epstein. He was an accountant and bookkeeper for Capone's crime family, and he took a liking to Virginia’s style, and that doesn't mean like her physical attractiveness… she had a certain style of a way that she talked to the mobsters, and she seemed to really have like a no-nonsense kind of ability to deal with the mobsters, which is really unique in a girl so young. So he felt he could trust her, and he took her on as a money launderer for his racketeering. She laundered the money by placing large bets on horses in Chicago's racetracks. She later moved into betting scams which is basically when she learned how from Joe to collect bets on fixed boxing matches. So the matches will be predetermined, but she would encourage people to bet the losing side. Virginia didn't just launder money. Joe taught her how to dress and act like a rich woman, and used her to cross state lines with stolen furs, jewels, and other items, because of course no one would suspect a nice, rich lady of stealing things and crossing state lines with them. The craziest part is that this all happened before Virginia even turned twenty. So by the age of twenty she was wearing really wealthy clothes, working really wealthy circles, and basically was a part of the mob. Over time, Hill became a trusted cash carrier, money launderer, and information gatherer for Joe and the rest of Capone's crew. She had many rich boyfriends and often used these relationships to benefit her mob family. In one instance she dated an oil tycoon named Major Riddle. No, you cannot make up this name, and yes, I wrote in my script to pause for insane laughter but no one is laughing. I think his name is hilarious.
Haley: I think that’s the best name ever.
Alana: We're on meat. We're on mute. Lexi that's why we're not laughing you didn't... they won’t be able to see the face that I made.
Lexi: Yeah. That's true. I forgot. Well anyway she dated this oil tycoon Mr. Riddle and she convinced him to give her money for investments that were like completely fake and she took that money back to her boy Joe. And Hill used her womanly charm, and by that I mean she seduced men. And through these methods she was able to obtain valuable information for her mob bros. Joe encourage Virginia to move out east to build connections between Chicago and New York crime syndicates. In New York, she laundered money and met many more men including a Mexican night club dancer named excuse my pronunciation, if this is wrong, Miguelito Valdez. At some point Virginia marriedValdez to help him maintain his residence in the United States. And then Virginia, at the same time as this marriage, had an on and off affair with Benjamin “Bugsy” Siegel who is a really famous leader in organized crime.The pair is well known to have real chemistry so this wasn't just considered to be a case of her seducing someone. They think that she genuinely liked him And unfortunately at the time Bugsy was married to another woman. In 1940, he was sent to jail on a murder charge. While Bugsy was in jail, Virginia tricked Valdez into signing divorce papers. And it was all very “90 day fiance” of her if you ask me. It is unclear if it was through her marriage or not but at some point Virginia had become very fluent in Spanish. She used her newfound language skills to begin trafficking drugs particularly heroin from Mexico to Chicago. In the 1940s, she attempted to start a career acting in Hollywood while transferring cash from New York to Chicago to LA. Meanwhile, Bugsy was setting up his new crime life in Las Vegas which he believed was the new up and coming resort destination for Americans and in hindsight he was probably right. He wanted Virginia to join him and she did but mainly only to spy on his activities and report back to her other mob leaders like Joe. Unfortunately, Bugsy’s biggest dreams were dashed when his resort project the “Flamingo” failed. He had drowned too much money into elabore improvements to the resort and lost cash when lucky winners struck it big in his casino. In a desperate attempt to save the business, he closed the casino and reopened the Flamingo as a hotel only, which sadly was unsuccessful, because we all know how Vegas went. Hill received orders to leave Las Vegas, so she did. 12 days later, someone shot Bugsy dead in their home. In 1950, Virginia went to a ski resort in Idaho, which I didn’t know you could ski in Idaho, but apparently you can. And she fell in love with an instructor named Hans Hauser. Again, very “90 Day Fiance” of her. Though she was still laundering money and Hauser was not a criminal, he still wanted to marry her. The couple eloped and had a son named Peter. Later that year, Virginia was subpoenaed to appear in a trial on organized crime which would be shown on National TV. She arrived like a star, dressed from head to toe in expensive clothing and jewelry. As a witness, she served her crime family well, evading details and giving vague, basic answers to in depth questions. She used creative lies to explain away all the cash she had laundered, explaining how she had bet money on horses to win her initial cash. She also insisted that most of her wealth came from gifts of suitors, or as we would probably call them today her sugar daddies. Now quick side note- this kinda gives me vibes of the musical Chicago and that song about the main character’s testimony, where she basically used her charm and virtue as a woman to get out of murder. “Well I can’t help it sir, I am just so beautiful men flock to me and give me free things.” On the stand, Virinigia denied that her male friends and lovers were racketeers. When the investigators caught her in her lies, she simply denied knowledge of the nature of their work. “But I never knew anything about their business” she would say. She denied her ability to have any financial knowledge, you know, because she was a lady, and ladies don’t do money things.
Alana: Ladies don’t money.
Lexi: Ladies never money.
Alana: Women be shopping but women don’t be money.
Haley: I love the comparison, like this whole story cuz this is so much like Charlotte. Both of these ladies are trying to be like, “Oh women do this, this is how women look, look how beautiful we are.
Lexi: That’s the vibe. That’s the vibe she was going for. The investigators were still suspicious, it did not work. Because, you know, it was about to be the sixties I mean it was the fifties but was about to be the sixties and so women were going to be liberated. As Virginia left the trial, she cursed out the press and she punched a reporter in the face. Then as she got her car she told reporters she hoped an atomic bomb would be dropped on them, which I think is a timely thing to say. This was right after World War II. That- That’s a big insult. That’s really mean. Virginia and Hans then realized that they needed to leave America so they moved to Europe. The IRS was still on Virginia's tail and she knew she could not return to the States ever again. She met up with her old boyfriends and colleagues while they were in Europe and it was clear she still received money from her life's consistent characters like Joe. In the nineteen sixties Virginia and her family settled in Austria and her mental health rapidly declined.
Viriginia had suffered with her mental health through most of her adult life, getting hooked on sleeping pills and almost dying from a sleeping pill overdose on at least one occasion. Her life was turbulent, her trauma was intense, and she survived at least three separate suicide attempts. On cold, winter’s day, March 24th, 1966, in Austria, Virginia took her own life. Pedestrians taking a walk along the water found her body, laying in the snow, along with a note stating the reason for her death, “I am tired of life”. Her husband Hans also took his own life, passing in 1974. Their son Peter, who would go on to become an American soldier and veterean of the Vietnam War, died in a car accident 20 years later. The family is buried together, in Salzburg, Austria. To this day, some crime enthusiasts believe Virginia may have been murdered, force fed pills as a method to hide a murder as suicide of someone with a history of mental illness. Though her apparent struggles with her mental health throughout her life really suggest this theory is unlikely. I think Virginia can teach us a lot, for starters I think the importance of mental health help is something her legacy can teach us. Virginia had a horrible childhood and instead of getting help she needed, she was married off and eventually she was convinced to do crime. She spent a lot of her life struggling, and it's possible some for mental health issues stem from that early trauma. I think Virginia can teach us a lot, for starters I think the importance of mental health help is something her legacy can teach us. Virginia had a horrible childhood, and instead of getting the help she needed, she was married off. She spent a lot of her life struggling, and it is possible some of her mental health issues stemmed from that early trauma. I think Virginia also teaches us that it took more than men to make the Mobs of early and mid century America function. Virginia was often called the mistress of the mob, but that’s not fair- she wasn’t a mistress of the mob, she was a member of the mob. Women, both those whose stories are recorded and those whose stories were forgotten, played central roles in organized crime. So maybe next time you think about famous figures like Al Capone, think of the women like Virginia Hill who supported the crimes too. And that’s why we cover the good, the bad, and the ugly of women’s history, because there are so many stories that go untold.
Alana: That was so beautiful.
Haley: That was mind blowing.
Lexi: Thank you! I am gonna leave in you guys calling it beautiful too!
Alana: That was incredible.
Lexi: I really thought about that really hard.
Alana: Holy shit!
Haley: I truly love that like all our stories had a moral like that the ending for Alana was also just like you have to face that you're a killer that's a no no and like Lexi here with mental health and then me being like it's not all black and white you’re both bad people!
Alana: Nuance and context is like my mantra these days.
Lexi: That’s academics.
Haley: Yes.
Alana: Nuance and context as academics.
Lexi As people who studied at a university. Oh my.
Alana: I have a bachelor's degree.
Lexi: Mhmm. Is this podcast just proof to your parents that you got a bachelor's degree?
Alana: No, they paid for it.
Lexi: They know.
Alana: They know.
Lexi: They suffered.
(Alana laughing)
Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of this episode will be on lady history pod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review or tell your friends, and if you don’t like the show, keep it to yourself.
Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra you can find her on Instagram and Twitter at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, Garageband, and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, next time on Lady History.
[OUTRO MUSIC]
Haley: Next week on Lady History: we're going to be in the kitchen cooking up some great stories about famous women chefs and cooks alike.
Alana: WHERE WE BELONG.
Lexi: In the kitchen.
Alana: /s.
3 notes
·
View notes
Slide on back, into this hometown photograph
Summary: Rory and Jess are just two old friends who find themselves perched, shoulder-to-shoe, on the gazebo steps with autumn dusk at their backs and a bottle of Miss Patty’s wedding whiskey between them, plus one glass each.
The night may be young but the sparks between them are not. After all, there's nothing like a celebration of love to stir old feelings...
(Canon divergent + Wedding Reception Fix-It) (Best Man Jess + Maid of Honor Rory)
(AO3) (FF.net)
It starts off innocent enough, he thinks.
There’s a short ceremony, frilly anecdotes, laughter. No bad moods or empty chairs. Fresh, crisp weather and cinnamon sticks. An exuberant motormouth bride who’s escorted by her beaming grump of a groom. Quirky table settings. Leafy napkins. Champagne. Live music once the band finishes tuning, the set list comprised of a multitude of Lane-approved songs from which the guests can choose and then be entertained for hours upon hours. Plus so much engorging food it’d make Willy Wonka himself bust twenty belt loops.
There’s no shortage of eccentricity whirling about at all times either. It’s more like a clownless circus than a wedding soiree what with a pig ring bearer and an accessorize-your-own snow cone booth that’s parked near the diner, not to mention the roster TJ’s circulating through the crowd so he can captain a new flag frisbee league on a vacant Doose-owned lot that was, supposedly, the site of a lettuce stampede a few months ago, but none of that’s surprising at an event like this one. Not here. Not for a town like Stars Hollow, no way.
Somehow that’s fine. Preferable to him, incredibly enough. Whatever.
It seems Jess has grown more tolerant of this place over time, who knows when exactly, but the blaring lack of Elvis Costello lyrics in his brain these days makes it true. A begrudging fact to be more accurate. And although confessing such an abhorrent thought would’ve scandalized his teenage punk of a self into incredulity once, now, despite the close-knit insanity that abounds everywhere he looks or moves, and with the sum of it being nothing short of entertaining and refreshingly jarring to behold, he finds he doesn’t hate it here any longer.
Nope. Consider his attitude changed. His resentment markedly dissipated. Hell, one could almost accuse him of looking forward to his visits back every now and again.
Isn’t that wild? Princess Bride inconceivable at best. The thought is so downright riotous he wonders if perhaps one of Babette’s lawn gnomes may’ve hypnotized him back in 2002.
(If pressed on the veracity of that pleased-to-visit accusation, though, he swears he’ll deny it. One hundred percent. Scoffing through his teeth for extra measure like the smart-assed delinquent Taylor probably still assumes he is at his core.)
It probably helps that no pesky or unfortunate stirrings from the past have dragged him asunder in Stars Hollow for a while, either. And for that, he’s grateful. It allows him to breathe easier at present. Relax. Relieved, frankly, that he and Rory can be at this reception together without awkwardness, without misgivings of any sort. Both of them enjoying the tulle-tied pomp and swirl of festivity around them instead.
It’s nice, isn’t it, Jess admits to himself as he peers at her sideways. Whatever this is. Her mouth’s poised around a pumpkin-headed utensil with her nose scrunched ironically at the moment, blue eyes shining, all while another five references rest on the tip of her tongue that are bound to amuse him once they fly out, and fly out they will. Shortly.
Yeah, he decides with a crack of his knuckles and a lazy smile. The comfort and familiarity they’ve always shared is still there, stirring subtly. It buzzes around them like a cozy undercurrent with no off switch.
Despite the many years he and Rory have spent apart, and no matter the surplus of sparse emails, text messages, or outdated addresses they have or have not exchanged in all that time, they always seem to fall back into it as soon as they reunite, don’t they? Ease. Amity. That ability to simply be who they are.
Like a worn yet jostled feather drifting on air, or an inked over whisper emboldening in the back of his mind, Jess feels the inevitability of that settle between them again.
Their gazes connect, spark, but there’s no pressure. There’s nothing to crinkle meaning into what they are or are not this evening. No expectations whatsoever. Just two old friends who find themselves perched, shoulder-to-shoe, on the gazebo steps with autumn dusk at their backs and a bottle of Miss Patty’s wedding whiskey between them, plus one glass each.
The alcohol is a tasty addition to the cake they’re sampling.
As it turns out, there are twelve different kinds thanks to the chef and best friend of the bride who seems to have arbitrarily decided that sugary gluttony doesn’t apply to those with the last name Gilmore. Or to anyone else who dares to try and eat alongside them tonight in button-popping solidarity. Not that Jess is complaining or anything, because he isn’t. And that’s shocking on its own given his disgruntled history with town events.
With ice cream by the dessert wayside or not, though, he’s satisfied. Stuffed full but content. Each slice of cake he’s tasted - number seven and counting - has been delicious. Just delicious.
Still, with no iron stomach of his own, and a frosting limit they’ve long since surpassed, he finds he appreciates the boozy reprieve more than she knows.
Liquid celebration, Rory calls it as she pours. And he agrees. It’s the perfect phrase, smiling broader then because he knows the warmth in his chest has nothing at all to do with a stupid drink or a home-brewed fifth of whiskey, though he can’t deny the heavenly sting a perfectly aged malt elicits as it slicks down his throat in one smooth swallow. Nor does it come from the next generous swig or two he takes after they toast beneath the twinkle lights Kirk has accidentally ripped loose because he caught the bridal bouquet with his teeth earlier - yes, his teeth - thankfully landing in decorative hay instead of atop Sookie’s elaborative dinner buffet, but it has everything to do with those canoodling newlyweds in the center of the town square over there and the emotion that had shone from his uncle’s face during his Best Man’s speech. A moment that had Lorelai blotting at her mascara in touched surprise herself. No matter how much she’d love to deny it.
He knows that whatever’s sloshing through his insides may have something to do with her, too. Rory. She’s propped against him, barefoot, her toes pinched and sore after too many hours in uncomfortable shoes, babbling and laughing like old times. Like there’s nowhere else she wants to be.
Though Jess is by no means a sentimental man himself, not in an overt way in any case, it’s safe to say a few more kernels of feeling have popped out of him today given the occasion and - yeah, okay - maybe because of the surrounding company as well.
Bizarrely, with her one arm looped around his bicep, and pop culture references rolling off her tongue like a dictionary game, he feels as if he’s come home in a way. Not to a place per se, but to a select few who’ve scooted aside and made room for him in their lives. Including him as if his presence matters. Treating him as though he belongs unconditionally; no matter what, no matter when he may or may not pop around in the future.
It’s an oddly pleasant feeling, to be regarded. Disarming for a man who’s spent most of his life feeling abandoned, on his own much of the time.
So the warmth gushing through him at present is not only foreign, unsettled in potency, but also painstaking and persistent. At least in the sense that it continues to vibrate gently inside him as he and Rory sip their drinks in companionable babble and quiet.
He feels the buttery splash: an amber liquid molting against his ribcage that requires no draining or denying the more the wedding revelry sinks into the background and it’s just them. Just this. Just reminiscence and emotion regarded like a snapshot photograph. It’s something which continues to evade conscious defining as the minutes continue to tick away faster and faster because it turns out the woman next to him is a not-so-innocuous additive that somehow manages to sharpen then inebriate his senses without trying. She simply talks, talks some more, and all feels right with the world.
Huh. Isn’t that something?
Odd, probably, that Jess is not at all freaked out by it when he knows he should be. He faults the booze for that, definitely the booze. It muddles everything.
“So how many broads have you wowed with your dance moves so far, Gene Kelly?” Rory asks as she refills his glass and hands it over.
“None.”
“You’re kidding.” Incredulous, “You haven’t danced with anyone?”
“Nope.”
“Come on!”
“Sorry to disappoint you,” he shrugs.
“How? I mean…you must’ve been forced to endure the Macarena or the Cuban Shuffle or something! Or, I don’t know, maybe Miss Patty and Babette roped you into a three-to-tango situation so they could fight over who got to dip you before one of them accidentally grabbed your butt? Those two tend to become rather handsy after they’ve hit the hooch. Always going after some young stud and mistaking him for Miss Patty’s Prospective Husband Number Thirteen, so it’s okay. I’ll listen.”
“It’s just us,” she elbows him, grins playfully, “you can tell me. You can own up to your bad luck. It happens to the most unassuming of former hoodlums in the Hollow. I promise I won’t make fun of you for it…” She slides her tongue across her teeth to repress a laugh, “Much.”
When Jess waves this off as inaccurate, too, Rory looks all the more aghast while a tinge of scrutiny causes her forehead to scrunch. Intent to assess whether or not he’s telling the truth.
“Fine,” she rests her chin on his shoulder and sighs. Takes a sip of her drink. It appears something in his smirk has convinced her to change tactics. “But I still don’t believe you.”
“Ouch. I feel like I should be offended by that,” he laughs.
“Wait, crap. Crap. That’s so not what I meant! Let me—” A pause. “It’s only that Grandma’s been pouncing on people since the music started,” she says, “shoving any poor sucker she could find under the twinkle lights so the photographer she hired - against Mom’s encyclopedia-length DON’T YOU DARE pre-wedding conditions, might I add - can snap a plethora of suitable candid photos for her expensive Lorelai Gets Married album. I, myself, was paired with Michel no less than four times! Four!”
“So the point I’m trying to make is this: nobody is exempt from at least a twirl or two before the night ends.” Poking him, “Not even you.”
“Funny how that falls somewhere between an offer and a threat, Gilmore,” he says with an unexpected twinge once he realizes what she’s suggesting.
“Oooh. Finally caught on, did you?”
Amused, he leans forward on his elbows. Cocks his head, “I suppose this means you’re asking if I’ll pencil you in, miss?”
“Indubitably, sir. Well—both you and your two left feet that is,” Rory amends with a wink.
“Lame. What a poor choice of cliché. “I mean, listen, I lived in New York City and could prove to be Fred Astaire swingin’ good for all you know.”
“Are you?”
“Hell no.”
Laughing, “Good. You nearly had me worried there. I’m no Ginger Rogers either so we’ll be well-matched. Now up, up, up!” she says with a finger snap. “Time to show me how well you dip, mister.” A hand curled around his tie, which she’s flapping against his shirt, Rory stands and yanks it over her shoulder with a conspiratorial smile.
Without warning, she tugs Jess behind her into a swell of bodies and music before enough sense returns for him to concoct an excuse and wriggle out of it; which, were he to attempt it, would classify as a Luke-like default in every way.
Seemingly determined to claim at least one dance, though, Rory brokers no room for argument. She wastes no time in wrapping his arms around her waist. Next she moves her feet, her knees, her hips to the acoustic beat of the song in the hopes he’ll mimic the movement.
It doesn’t take long to match her rhythm, with him transitioning them smoothly from a sway into a rock.
They teeter closer and chatter to fill the empty space. To curb the tension. Her head brushes against his cheek a little too intimately during the chorus, her touch tantalizing on his nape, but neither one of them draw back. Neither one of them pull away.
Numerous sets lapse before they retreat back to the gazebo perch, their cake and whiskey stash replenished, the hour growing late.
The guests have largely cleared out by now. Only a few stragglers remain who are too drunk, too comfortable, or too tired to care about two old friends who have slipped off together again. Alone.
Apparently all it takes is a wedding party to nip Stars Hollow’s “nosy neighbor” defect in the bud temporarily. Amazing, isn’t it?
Content to watch Rory slide her arms through the sleeves of his jacket, which he’s just draped over her shoulders before the November chill can make her shiver, Jess allows himself to rake over her features for a second, unhurried. To catch a whiff of her floral perfume. Bottling up another memory. Then he becomes much braver than he usually dares by reaching forward to thumb off a fleck of leftover icing on her cheek, chuckling because she flushes, because she pats around for a napkin in vain, holding her eyes longer than he knows he should afterward because her pout is adorable and cuter than he remembered and - oh, screw it - he might be slightly tipsy. He might be drunk off the curves of her face.
Shit. What if things between them aren’t as simple and benign as he wants them to be?
She looks pretty, man. Too damn pretty.
Jess realizes he may be lost for good now, dazed by sweet proximity. He’s a satellite slipping back into the gravity of the once-upon-a-them he thought had broken off long ago, gone astray, combusted so as to no longer be a part of this reality. So what is happening?
Soon Rory’s blinking back at him.
Embarrassment fading, a small smile forms at the corner of her mouth, the moonlight a trickle of pearls on her skin. One, two, three seconds more and everything else recedes further when she catches him lightly by the wrist before he can think to pull away.
The move surprises him. That ABORT, ABORT frequency in his mind has dulled down to a slow hush, a simple nothing.
They’re alone here, cocooned in a little niche they’ve procured with happy understanding of the other’s needs. This shared solitude is an alcove. Their temporary respite from the remaining crowd and today’s craze.
Swallowing, his throat suddenly dry, Jess stills. Rory idles, her face paned in gentle curiosity. Their gazes tangle with something precarious, a question, something long since buried.
Can this be happening again? Really? Can an ember this old, this burnt up, return to the wick and still catch flame?
Once she shifts closer on the gazebo steps, however, tilting into his touch, her skirt spilt across his legs, he doesn’t bother trying to retie the knots around his heart. What’s the use? There’s a stupid sonnet of nothing and everything building inside of him that he hopes to find the strength to voice before it dissolves in his mind and it’s too late. But he can’t find a pen. He can’t write it down. There’s no room left in his head for words at this point, anyway.
Helpless, he’s stuck on the other end of her spaghetti string like that stupid Disney mutt, the Tramp, and he hates himself for it. Hates it. Yet still owns it all the same.
It’s too exhausting trying to figure out what the hell it all means, so he doesn’t try. Doesn’t analyze.
He’s so sick of rebuffing those edge of seventeen flutters that lurk in his recesses like a hot spot. A reservoir of feeling. He’s so done with all these highlighted passages in his periphery that refuse to fade with time.
He can barely breathe let alone think about the erratic drumbeat spiking in his ears after her palm glides over his pulse point, down the cuff, up his sleeve…
He can hardly refuse when she’s crumbling his self-control, towing him in like he’s already caught…
So he lets go.
Surrenders.
Giving into the ache before it swallows him up whole.
The air charged, unable to glance away, Jess lets his hand fall. Rory takes it into her possession immediately. His other one hovers in the air a moment, tentative, then comes to rest on her shoulder.
It seems the lapels of his tux jacket have flattened a few tendrils of her glossy hair beneath the collar, so he slips a hand underneath it to free them with a deft brush of fingertips against her neck without a word. Afraid to break the spell. Afraid to move even as they both lean in and bump a whiskey glass with a little plink from a clumsy ankle, and smash it to pieces.
Distracted, neither one of them flinch. They disregard the shattered glass entirely.
Eyes locked, resistance faltering, Rory tugs him once, gentle and prodding. Though encouragement is plain in her face, it’s courage he lacks. It’s courage he needs most.
With only a breath left to cross, to finish it off, and with their foreheads already touching, Jess knows one inch more will doom him for certain. He knows one inch less will kill him right where he sits, no joke. And jeez, how big of a chump he feels to admit it without blaming something else first.
Does she notice, he wonders? Does she perceive an iota of this conflict? Can she sense the war he’s losing or has he gotten too fucking good at inscrutable emotion?
“Jess?” she asks softly, the sound more like a pant than a whisper.
“Yeah?”
“Should…are we about to do something smart or stupid?”
“I…” reeling, “I don’t know. Could go either way.”
“If you had to pick?”
“Do you, uh,” he pushes bangs from her face, “do you really need an answer?”
“Only for clarity’s sake,” she says, “but yeah.” Biting her lip, “If you can.”
“Right.”
“So?”
“Both then,” he says with a protracted sigh. He won’t lie to her; he never could. “Definitely both.”
“Right. Okay.” She mulls it over. Her eyelashes flit against the bridge of his nose. “Both.” Tenderly, Rory cups his jaw, runs her fingers through stubble that never used to grow there until he’d reached his late twenties. “I think,” her mouth ghosts against his cheek, beckoning, “I think I can live with a little contradiction in my life,” she smiles. “Can’t you?”
There’s no turning back after that.
His lips throb, they’re already bruised with want. Burning. They’re already smarting from a mark of affection Jess remembers too well from his past dreams but knows hasn’t been anything concrete in years, not given, not taken, not tasted since they were a couple of kids and bad timing was the ultimate champion reigning between them.
But there’s not a single obstacle in their way now, is there? No problems. No boyfriends or girlfriends lurking. No friends, no family members, no town folk who are raining down judgment or wondering if they’ll regret this in the morning.
So where Rory leads next he’s bound to follow. He feels it in the bending, in the liquid pooling of his bones. Who is he to resist? Who is he to try and temper the fire spreading through him like a nuclear bomb as she wraps her arms around his neck? Pulling him in, holding him against her like she never plans to let go again.
Jess shuts his eyes. Decides to close the remaining distance. He’ll take this chance, damn those consequences, worry about cauterizing the hurt he’ll more than suffer from later.
Yeah, later…
After all, how can he pretend any of this is innocent? What could be less indifferent than making out with his ex-girlfriend behind a gazebo at his uncle’s wedding reception?
Reckless or not, he’ll live with it.
69 notes
·
View notes