+i do feel like we (u and i) would b able to connect w his anger as well as having more sympathy for him, even if sympathy is smthn i dont rlly feel. but as long as ur comfortable then i woulddd like to ask- not specifically for a sexual assault/incest victim but more just someone that can relate to his anger and having (kinda) similar family trauma :] that way it can b more inclusive and ur not goinf out of ur comfort zone but thank u again omg
"You say the term daddy issues like it's some grand insult."
The liquor burns a hole in the back of your throat and you're pretty damn sure it's fermented sharpie water. Drinking rotgut this acidic cannot be good for you, but when you're destitute and down on your luck, top shelf is hard to come by, and it's fair to say you're not drinking for the taste.
Tomura eyes you warily, watching the bob in your throat as you kick back another shot and the sour-apple face that follows. It's not predatory or threatening; just cautious. Apathetic.
This is the dynamic you have.
Tomura is too off-putting and angry for most people to stomach willingly. It's something you both share. Practically frothing vitriol at the slightest provocation. You think you have a certain immunity to his particular brand of biological cyanide because you stomached a hearty internal dosage yourself.
You talk because he understands. He listens because he deigns it acceptable. It isn't friendship or even acquaintanceship— if anything, it's reluctant kinship. Two toxic creatures being the only ones able to withstand each other's specific breed of venom. Hot and cold. Nothing at all and then too much.
"Well it is, isn't it?"
His pale, lithe fingers curl around the rim of his own drink, nursing it rather than knocking it back as you've opted to do.
You don't count it as drinking alone. You've been told that's bad.
"No, not really. Even the most well of intentioned parents leave us with scars. Kids are like playdough. You pick them up the wrong way once and it hardens and stays malformed forever. Everyone has daddy or mommy issues, or grandparent issues, or—"
"Abandonment issues?" He says with a cruel, mocking lilt to his voice. He's firing arrows blindly hoping to hit a sore spot. Unfortunately for him, where he's firing from gives away his own position.
"Sure, that's one of them," You shrug with a practiced air of nonchalance. "There's also 'mommy was an addict's issues, and 'daddy hit me and mommy didn't care' issues—"
There's a slight twitch below his right eye when you say it. You doubt he even notices.
"—All I'm saying is everyone has 'em in some form. Even the ones that are happy."
"Whatever. All of that pathetic shit is just weak. It has no bearing on anything."
He's lying and he isn't even aware. It has everything to do with anything. It's the tarnished silver cast that molded him into what he is today. A bit hamfisted to call that giant, brutish hand he wears like a shield over his face 'father' and not recognize the absurdity of that statement.
"Whatever you fuckin' say, man. Let he without sin and all that."
He doesn't respond to your provocation. Only studies you through slitted eyes, dry mouth pressed firm in a hard line. So you keep talking.
"All I'm saying is to end up here, it's obvious something went wrong along the way. Every one of these fucks here likes to ignore the seed that bore the fruit, but every time they strike at a hero, they're really just striking out at daddy or mommy and the society that failed them—"
He tenses, coiling like a rattlesnake poised to strike. Looks like you hit a nerve.
"What are you saying?" He hisses, laced with venom that he'll mainline directly to your heart if you say the wrong thing. "Sounds like projection."
"You're telling me you think everyone here had a wonderful past and ended up here anyway?"
You say 'here' as more of a nebulous abstract than a reference to any actual place. Fallen so far through the cracks of society that you have no choice but to seal the breech with a mortar of blood and bone.
"I think it doesn't matter," he spits, that trademark brand of disdain rearing its head again. "Heroes are—"
"Literally just a part of society as it was built. The pinnacle of greatness as it's supposed to be seen. Paragons of justice and good—"
"If you believe that, I should just kill you right now."
More tail rattling.
"I don't. I'm parroting propaganda. You said once it's like a disease and heroes are the symptom. Where else is the perpetuation of society born but in the cradle?"
"Hmph."
His muscles loosen and he turns his gaze from you towards nothing in particular.
"You know from an early age that something is wrong. Maybe not at home quite at first, but that there's something wrong with you. If you don't fit the mold; if you act out too much; if you're too violent or angry rather than a bubble faced cherub child, they make damn sure you know it."
"And what were you?" He says, seemingly disinterested.
"Well, I was told once that I was the most negative, angry child they'd ever seen. And then she started bawling uncontrollably for forty five minutes."
He cackles at that. A genuine, rueful laugh that sets your teeth on edge. He doesn't necessarily mean it as an insult— that's just a convenient side effect.
You shrug again. It's not a weak point. In fact, it works in your favor now. Same as his.
"Well, she wasn't wrong, per se."
His laugh peters out and finally dies behind the swallow of his own mouthful of booze. The next sentiment he says with almost a touch of admiration.
"I guess not. You do like to make them suffer."
"Because they fucking deserve it."
Even now you can feel the curdle of molten rage bubble in the low of your gut. Your jaw ticks and teeth begin grinding, spurred onward by the less-than-helpful encouragement of liquid courage. It's like a sun cradled in your ribs, solar flares lashing out and burning anything they touch when you let it. Keeping it contained is almost more painful than just letting it collapse into itself.
You clench and burn everything you touch, and everything Tomura holds with his entire being crumbles to ash and slips between his fingers. Ironic and symbolic in some ways. Acute pain turned defense mechanism.
Tragic, really. Honest.
Tomura has an immunity to his own quirk, but fire doesn't care what it singes, bearer or victim. Some days, the flames are so hot it scorches and clogs your own lungs like a thick, black smoke. Feed me, it demands, but every time you do, it only burns hotter.
Some days, you wonder what will be left of you when that fire goes out— if there will even be anything left at all.
They say anger is a secondary emotion; that it stems from sadness and grief. The fruit is bitter all the same, but when it's all you have to eat, you learn to enjoy the taste.
You have both long since fallen past the point of questioning whether everyone who angers you deserves to die. You've built a life around that questionable belief instead.
He eyes you with a peculiar look. One you've seen before and immediately, the rest of the night is mapped out in front of you like a blueprint.
"I know,"
He says it with a certain softness. As soft as the embodiment of raw glass and sharp edges can be.
"It's part of why I keep you close."
He keeps his heated stare on you, and you know he won't make any moves further than that. He hasn't drank quite enough to just grab you by the throat and take what he wants from you like he often does, but he knows enough to know he doesn't want to spend the night alone.
"And it's part of why I stay."
Negativity feeds negativity feeds negativity. A twisted form of trauma bonding that you've nurtured into some unholy abomination of desire. You will spend the night breaking each other down in violent and suffocating affection, and build each other back up into some more grotesque form than before.
It's cathartic. And extremely unhealthy. You know that.
Love isn't his hands around your throat until a cosmic spattering of bruises colors your neck or your nails embedded in his shoulders until ghostly skin slicing crimson is all that's left behind in your wake. It's not his fist on your cheek or your wrists ringed red with rope burn with cracked walls and and a broken bed frame. It's not the whiskey tinted breath of 'I love you' he sighs and conveniently forgets the following morning.
He wants to hurt; you know you deserve to be hurt.
That's not love— it's a mockery of it. A twisted reflection of what might have been had it not been burned beyond recognition before the kindling had even sparked.
Happy endings don't come in the form of arson. Happy endings don't end in ash and soot and still-burning cinders.
That miserable fire.
It will consume you both.
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Let’s talk about some of the problems with Star Trek. There are obviously real-world, behind-the-scenes reasons for many of the things we don’t like about Star Trek, and they’re usually pretty messed up. A very non-comprehensive list includes but certainly is not limited to:
Geordi being bad with women - racism
Geordi and Worf being the people of color on the cast but in heavy make-up - racism/othering
Harry Kim not getting a promotion - racism (see: model minority)
Klingons all being black/dark skinned (pre ~2001 at least cause that’s mostly what I know) but sometimes played by white actors - racism (see: blackface)
Chakotay’s whole deal - racism (see: noble savage)
The Kazon not assimilated by the Borg - anti-black racism
Deanna Troi not wearing a uniform - sexism
Seven of Nine not wearing a uniform - sexism
Jadzia getting killed off - sexism
Ezri’s poor reception - sexism again
Miles/Keiko/Kira’s baby situation - theres a post going around calling it misogynistic and it’s a pretty good take
B’Elanna being reduced to angry Klingon - Racism and sexism double whammy (see: spicy Latina)
Keiko being perceptually reduced to nagging wife even though that’s not what her actions necessarily portray - racism and sexism double whammy again
Beverly Crusher’s trill episode - homophobia
DS9 flirting with different expressions of sexuality (many characters) but barely committing - homophobia
Pike’s fate - ableism
DS9 Augments - ableism
Later iterations of Spock losing the Jewish coding - antisemitism
I’ll stop the list there since we can keep pulling examples out as nauseam and find examples of any of the -isms, any of the -phobias either within the media itself or behind the scenes but especially in some of the fan spaces. There’s plenty of ethnic/religious/gender/sexuality coding, erasure, contradictions, and many other things that can be pulled out and dissected in ~900 hours of a franchise made over 6 decades. (Keep adding examples if you want, since mine do not cover the whole spectrum of the franchise and barely even touch alien species that also have issues.)
Star Trek is undeniably made in a capitalist Hollywood production company, so white supremacy, heteronormativity, and dominant cultural tendencies usually end up dictating what gets put on air. Hollywood has a dominant thread of white supremacy throughout its history, so even intentionally trying to diversify staff and talent is difficult because of the systems feeding into Hollywood or other industries/institutions. There can also be a great deal of privilege working in the favor of successful artists - not always but something to consider.
Additionally, Trek presents itself as a post-scarcity, futuristic utopia, and sometimes things stick out to us if they don’t meld with our personal understanding of what that would look like.
I’m sure we’ve all heard a little about the old production schedules, long days, demanding schedules, rotating writers, rotating directors, etc etc. It has been proven that implicit bias can drive decisions, especially when people are busy. Even if the production isn’t explicitly motivated by these things, they seep into the work. The -isms and -phobias are sometimes reduced to characteristics of a person/piece of media, but it’s sometimes more useful to characterize actions instead of people since it allows better conversation about the topics. Sometimes it is intentional and explicit, sometimes it’s not. The intention does not affect the impact, so how a storyline or message lands on the audience/viewer is important. Science fiction in particular is a genre that makes social commentary, so by design it lends itself to deeper analysis.
We also can’t forget that the shows are products of their respective times, and a lot of what was shown was pushing against cultural boundaries. For the most part, the franchise has tried to explicitly be diverse, but they are bound to make missteps in other areas, intentional or not. No piece of media is perfect or above scrutiny.
Now, all of that said, there are many schools of thought for how to analyze media. I’m not gonna give a whole crash course in literary criticism but we can look at it from a continuum of different perspectives. We can wonder what the production meant when they made it/what happened off camera (author intentionality), we can draw from the piece itself (in universe), we can focus on how the media was received either in its cultural context or outside (reader response), or we can do some combination of the three. No media exists in a vacuum, so they all end up working together to make the work.
My main point is this: it is ok to pick your analytical perspective. You can chose to ignore the real-world contributions and intentionality when analyzing media. If people want to stay strictly in universe to come up with reasons why something did or did not happen, that’s ok. If people want to focus on what happened behind the scenes and how that affected the work, fine. If people are just focused on how it made them feel, also great. Just maybe don’t get all worked up because someone is analyzing media from a different viewpoint or someone has a different take than you do.
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I got a few asks after my post explaining why I wasn't entirely convinced ocelot was canonically in love with bb. I'm not going to answer any of them. sorry. we'd be going round in circles and I don't want to drag this out or have it become a big THING. interpreting their relationship/ocelot's feelings as romantic is not without basis but it's not really how I see it anymore after reading so much about him, especially after learning that all of the japanese words for love used in relation to ocelot do not have exclusively romantic connotations and carry more nuance than eg. "fallen for him?" does in english. there are other examples of this from guidebooks/interviews, etc. that have come up while putting japanese text through online translators. in the mgs3 scenario book, the script note (all major ocelot script notes here) on ocelot's feelings after snake defeats his entire unit and lectures him on his technique is:
オセロットはこの時の強烈すぎる屈辱でスネークに惹かれる。
The initial result from deepl is:
"Ocelot is attracted to Snake because of the intense humiliation of this moment."
if the words "attracted to" were used in english, the implication would be pretty clear in this context - ocelot has a crush on bb. however, if you look up the japanese word used here - 惹かれる -the meaning is actually closer to charmed by/fascinated by/captivated by/drawn to - none of which are exclusively romantic. "attracted to" still technically fits but is a very literal translation. a more suitable choice would be one of the above because an english audience would commonly associate the phrase "attracted to" with romantic or sexual feelings
if ocelot could ever be described as having a crush, it would be in mgs3, when he first meets bb. in japanese, that type of passionate love would apparently be described as 恋 (koi). this is never used to describe ocelot but it is used to describe volgin and raikov, who are confirmed lovers:
大佐とイワン少佐は恋仲。
"Colonel and Major Ivan are in love."
恋仲 - being in love with each other
when ocelot is described as "longing for snake", the word for "longing" used is 憧れる, the main meaning of which relates to admiration. according to this page, it can also have romantic connotations but 焦がれる is more frequently used to express that
it seems a deliberate choice to make ocelot's feelings ambiguous by selecting words that convey a complex range of emotions rather than stating them to be outright romantic. the words used always have alternate meanings unrelated to romantic love, which is why I'm hesitant to acknowledge "ocelot is in love with bb" as solid concrete definite 100% canon, seeing as I'm incapable of understanding the nuance of japanese as a native english speaker. as far as I'm able to understand, it's up to individual interpretation imo
whether you believe ocelot's feelings for bb were romantic or not, we can still agree that everything he did for him was out of some form of love, that type being 愛 (ai) - the deep, unconditional love that might drive a person to dedicate their entire life to another and alter their mind and body to enact their will of eternal global warfare. aww <3
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