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bbrandy2002 · 3 years

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Fearless

Chapter 2: Take My Hand And Drag Me Headfirst

Book: The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir

Pairing: Prince/King Liam x MC (Riley Brooks), Drake Walker x OC (Alyssa Devereaux)

Series Premise: Riley Brooks and Alyssa Devereaux became best friends as freshmen at Syracuse University, a borderline-sisterhood that lasts forever after. When Riley meets a handsome prince and is asked to compete for his hand in a mysterious faraway kingdom, she invites Alyssa along for moral support.

What the girls think will be a crazy temporary adventure becomes two sets of happily ever afters … with twice the shenanigans to show for it.

A/N: This series is written in loving collaboration between @bbrandy2002 and @burnsoslow.

Series Warnings: Smut 🍋🍋, language, canon violence (gun violence, bombing, terrorism), drug use, probably more stuff as we think of it. By reading this series, you agree that you are at least 18 years old and are prepared to deal with adult themes.

Thank you @burnsoslow for the beta and putting some of your magical finishing touches where needed.

Chapter 3 will be written by @burnsoslow , I’m so excited for that!!

___________________________

Propped against the railing of the rear deck of a small tugboat in the middle of the Hudson River, the warmth of Liam’s arms wrapped around her from behind, Riley thought back to the words Daniel spoke to her earlier about fairytales and happy endings. Maybe it was the hope in his voice she needed to hear during a vulnerable moment to lift her spirits, but she was really starting to believe them herself.

The newly fired, down-on-her-luck Riley Brooks had left the Tapped Out Bar with a mysterious man that she plowed over during an escape from rats while taking out the garbage. A little while later, she accidentally attacked him again in the alleyway of her former employment with her sad little stick. They struck up a conversation, and through some awkward stalling on his part, he finally worked up the nerve to ask her out for a drink.

Riley wasn’t someone who normally took off with random guys she just met to flit about the city, but there was just something about Liam that was different -- that was special.

Call it intuition. An inclination. Instinct or inkling. Whatever it was, was a possibility. Of what? That remained to be seen.

After talking to his friends about his plans, and at her behest, the pair headed west on foot until they reached a busy late-night cafe that overlooked the choppy waters of the New York harbor. Sitting on the open deck, moonlight cascading off the ripples of the sea, a light jazz tune playing through the outdoor speakers, they talked for over an hour about everything and nothing, while sipping coffee and plucking at a large cinnamon roll they shared. It was the most Riley had spoken in a long time. When you live with and are friends with the more outgoing Alyssa, you learn to appreciate the fine art of listening. She spoke about her dads, her friends, places she traveled to and what not. All very light, casual conversation. Liam mentioned he had family, his country of origin, how much he was enjoying New York, but never revealed too much.

Not wanting to sound too whiny and pathetic, she stuck with the positive things in her life; she surprised even herself that there were a lot more than she realized. But he captivated her in a real way that made it so easy. Liam laughed with her and made her feel interesting and personable; maybe even desired.

And as the night carried on and the patrons of the cafe dwindled down, a Miles Davis tune began to play: “Blue and Green.” A bright smile tugged on the corner of Liam’s lips as he pushed his chair back and rose from the table to offer his hand. “My lady.”

Riley looked around the deck to see if anyone else was dancing -- they weren’t -- but how could she say no?

She didn’t want to say no.

Beside their little round table and under a string of hanging white pearly lights and garland, they slowly swayed together like it was the most natural thing in the world. It was chemistry in motion with every soft blare of the trumpet, rhythmic taps on the snare drum, and light pitter pats on a piano played in G major. The tempo was leisurely and elegant, creating the perfect ambience for the feelings that were stirring within them.

With her head resting snugly against his firm chest, the thrumming of his steadily-beating heart reverberating in her ear, Liam revealed, “I’m the Crown Prince of Cordonia, Riley.”

Never breaking their stride, Liam lifted one of her tiny arms in the air and twirled her around gracefully. Riley smiled up at him as they returned to formation; their hands intertwined between them. “And I’m one of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse.”

Liam laughed as they continued their gentle side-to-side movements. “I know it sounds crazy, but I’m not lying to you. Perhaps I should have been a little more upfront with you from the beginning, but I’m normally not allowed to go out without the Royal Guard.” He paused for a moment to lower her into a deep dip, sensually inhaling the perfumed scent around her decolletage, before pulling her back into his arms. “And I was only allowed out on the condition that I kept my identity a secret. But, just for one day … I wanted to be free.”

It was one of the most romantic nights Riley had ever experienced in her life, but as the music continued to play, their steps gliding in sync, she nuzzled her cheek against his firm body and responded, “You’re so full of shit.”

Liam pulled away, amused by her choice of words and disbelief. “After I told you all of that, you still think I’m lying?”

Riley shrugged. “I dunno.” She casually pulled out her chair under his watchful eye and sat down, crossing her legs. Lifting a coffee mug to her lips, she winced at its cold temperature, and the fact that she hated coffee. “So, I’m not really into the whole role-playing thing, but if you’re gonna be this ... Prince of Condomania, how about if I play the sultry villainess spy who comes to steal the treasures from your castle and you catch me in the act?” She batted her eyelashes and splayed her hands across her chest. “I will neva surrenda, Prince Liam. If you wont me, you’ll haf to take me right heya.” Riley animatedly flung her arms out and arched back over her chair.

Liam knit his brow. “What the hell kind of accent is that?”

Riley sat up and smiled proudly. “It’s Cajun. I have this friend and I really like how he talks; it’s so sexy. Do you think it sounded convincing at all? Maybe a little too nasally? You want me to try to do your accent next?”

With a grin, Liam shook his head and took the seat across from her. “You’re something else, you know that?”

She sighed. “That’s what they tell me.”

Reaching into his jacket pocket, Riley watched curiously as Liam pulled out his phone and began typing something on it. He held it out to her. “I want you to look at this, Cajun Villainess Spy. Tell me what you think?”

“Oh God, you’re gonna show me a dick pic, aren’t you?” Riley slammed her eyes shut as she reluctantly reached for his cell, but sort of peeked out one eye.

“Eh, no. That’s never really been my style.” He gestured insistently for her to look at the screen as he sat back and crossed his arms. “I think you’ll find everything you want to know about me right there.”

It only took her a second to study the images and gloss over the text he pulled up, but a satisfied smirk formed on Liam’s charmed features while watching her eyes grow larger. Riley jumped up from her chair, the momentum causing it to tip over. “Why didn’t you tell me you were a real prince?”

Liam guffawed, “I did!”

“No, you didn’t! You had I’m joking written all over your face. How was I supposed to know your serious face and your joke face look the same?” She tossed the phone back to him like it was molten iron scorching her palm. “I’d rather have the dick pic.”

After picking up her tipped-over chair and getting settled again, she took a moment to just process the identity of the man she had spent the last couple of hours talking and dancing with. Her real-life Prince Charming. This incredibly sweet, hot guy sipping coffee in front of her was part of a royal family, and she was an unemployed everything. What on earth possessed him to want to spend time with the likes of her?

She looked up from her fidgeting fingers that were picking at the green fabric covering her thighs and smiled softly at him. “I’m sorry I overreacted. It’s just …”

“A lot to learn about someone? No, no, I get it. I probably would have had the same reaction if I were you.”

“So ... what happens now?”

What happened next was what led them to the boat they were on for an impromptu midnight ride to see the Statue of Liberty.

Liam laid out the details of his situation: He was a prince visiting New York City with his friends who were throwing him a last-minute bachelor party. Riley listened attentively while he explained his upcoming social season: not knowing yet who he was going to marry, but that duty required him to take a wife by the end of the year. He had hoped while he was in the city to visit its most famous statue; however, his friends hadn’t planned for it. Riley heard the disappointment in his voice and it tugged at her heart.

It was definitely too late to catch one of the many tours that traveled to Ellis Island during the day, but Riley was determined to do what she could to make it happen for him. Part of her was motivated by the fact that she liked him a lot and enjoyed his company; he was charming and refined, different from anyone she’d ever met. The longer she got to spend with Liam and got to know him, the better. But there was also this other part that felt sorry for him. Riley could see the struggle in his eyes and the weight on his shoulders between what he wanted to do, and what his position forced his hand to do. In her mind it was clear that Liam was the kind of guy who got everything -- except what he wanted.

In some ways, she knew the feeling.

To Liam’s surprise, Riley assured him she would find a way for him to see that statue. So, while he paid the tab, her mind raced with how the hell she was going to pull this off. And just before the actual possibility of having to hijack a vessel began to fully take shape in her mind, she pulled out her phone in one last-ditch effort to not break the law. Riley knew no one who owned a boat, but there was one person in her life that seemingly had a connection to everyone in the damn city.

Riley bit at her fingernails as the phone rang, glancing over her shoulder once to watch Liam paying the cashier. “Come on, come on. Pick up. Pick up.”

“Heyyyy!”

“Alyssa,” Riley whispered in an urgent tone into the phone, unclear whether her friend would even hear her over the party music and raucous chatter that was blaring in the background. “I need your help with something.”

“Riiiiley!” she slurred. “My bestie. My sister from another parents. I love you soooo much. More than everyone in the whole wide ... something. Hey, guys! Riley’s on the phone; say hi to her!”

“Wait, Lyss! No.”

A loud chorus of drunken greetings could be heard through the receiver as Alyssa held it up in the air.

“Alyssa!” Riley repeated in frustration while listening to her best friend start another conversation with a partygoer about the perfect symmetrical shape of the cheese cube she just ate. Apparently, it looked like a “tiny little house, for teeny, tiny little cheese people.”

Riley smacked her forehead. “Alyssa!”

Liam returned from paying the bill, his hands stuffed in his pockets and bouncing on his heels. He raised his eyebrows at Riley as if asking eagerly whether she was ready to head out on this adventure she told him she would make possible. Riley smiled back and raised a finger, indicating she’d be ready in a moment. Panic started to set in as she cursed under her breath and continued to try to get her friend back on the call. “Lyss.”

“Riley,” Alyssa laughed. “You’re still on the phone? No way! Hey, guys! Riley’s still on the phone. Say ‘hey’ to her!”

“NOO! Please, Alyssa, I need your help.”

“Whatcha need, Ri? You know I’ll do aaaanything for you.”

“Ok, do you remember when you caught our dorm room on fire senior year cooking ramen noodles in the microwave, and all my stuff burned up?”

“That checks. Sure.”

“Well, it’s time to pay up on that favor you said you’d owe me.”

Somehow, the planets must have been aligned just right, because a very inebriated Alyssa comprehended Riley’s request enough to talk to Damien about it and have it actually make sense. Luckily, the private detective knew a guy who drove a tugboat for the Port Authority working the night shift and was more than willing to see what he could do for Alyssa’s best friend.

-----------

Riley felt Liam’s arms tighten around her waist as the Statue of Liberty came into view. She had seen the landmark more times than she could remember in her life; perhaps she had become so accustomed to it being there that she took for granted how it would affect someone seeing it for the first time. It wasn’t until she twisted around in his arms to view his reaction, to see this beacon of freedom reflecting in his mesmerized eyes, that it all made sense. Liam was a beautiful man with a beautiful soul; if anyone deserved this moment to reflect on what it truly meant to embrace the freedom he longed for, it was him.

“What are you thinking, Liam?” She broke the silence.

He shook his head in wonderment. “It’s magnificent, Riley. I’ve heard art has meaning because of what it makes the viewer feel. Whether it’s ink splatters on a canvas or on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, it only matters if it moves you.”

“And?”

Liam let out a sigh of contentment and lowered his gaze to her. “And right now, looking at this view with you … I feel like … anything is possible.”

“I feel that way too.” She slowly nodded, finding herself lost in his eyes, his voice, his embrace. Nothing in this moment mattered to her anymore: the long stream of bad luck, the crappy job she just lost, her epic failures at relationships. They all seemed to just wistfully fly out into the ocean and bury themselves below its sandy bottom.

Wrapped in each other's arms, surrounded by the salty sea air and a skyline full of hopes and dreams, Liam pulled her as close to himself as she would go, his other hand moving up to caress the side of her face. Both searched longingly into each other's eyes, waiting for the other to make that next big move.

Feeling an awakening of courage and fire in the depths of her fluttering stomach, she threw all fears and caution to the wind. Riley grasped on to the lapels of Liam’s jacket and gently lowered him to her eagerly awaiting lips.

The kiss was tender and brief, but magical; it left her spellbound. Riley could swear she floated out of her body and traveled into the clouds that blanketed above them and enveloped her wholly.

Liam rested his forehead on Riley’s; his hands reached down to grasp hers and swing freely alongside them. “You’re full of surprises tonight, Riley.”

“Is that before or after I knocked you out earlier?”

He chucked, rubbing the bump on the back of his head. “Both times. I’m certainly not sorry about either, though. I’ll never forget this night … or you.”

If you have a concussion, you might. She smiled up at him, “Me either.”

As their boat rounded the island, Riley took one last glance back at the statue that now represented so much more in her mind. Her gaze traveled across the expanse of the gleaming torch, down the long arm of the statue, over to the dim lights shining through the glass within the crown. Something caught her attention -- an odd movement -- and she couldn’t help but squint real hard to make out the image that was quite small from her vantage point. She tilted her head, trying to figure out what the hell she was seeing before it finally became clearer to her. She let out a loud gasp. “Oh my God!”

From behind, Liam leaned down next to her face. “What’s wrong?” he asked curiously, trying to match his view with her line of sight. “What are you seeing?”

Riley pointed up. “I see ass cheeks!” she replied in disgust. “And not just any ass cheeks … big, gigantic ones smooshed right up against the window. There’s two people up there just going at it and … oh, no wait, she just got turned around. Yep, yep, those look like boobies now. Who does that kind of thing, having sex where anyone could just see? And in the Statue of Liberty, of all places?”

Letting out a forced cough then clearing his throat, Liam squeezed Riley’s shoulders several times and laughed awkwardly. “Yeah, I know. Sick freaks, huh?”

The pair watched the display for a second longer than they should have before turning to look at one another, blushing and smiling sheepishly. Riley only hoped she played off her disgust well enough that he didn’t realize she was a sick freak too.

Liam looked away, hoping the same.

---------

It was well past midnight.The Brooklyn streets were mostly bare, with only the occasional late-night dweller cruising the sidewalks or a yellow cab making its weekend rounds. Just a stone's throw across the bridge, the city that never slept, with its flashing lights and bustling tourist, lay in deep contrast to this quiet residential district that was only lit up at that hour by street lamps and halogen headlights.

Riley considered where she lived to be a fairly safe neighborhood. Crime and lawlessness weren’t unheard of, but it was rare for that area. Like many women of her young age, walking alone in the dark wasn’t something she usually set out to do unless she had no other choice. That’s why when Liam insisted he accompany her the few blocks from where they finished their excursion to see her home safely, she was more than willing to oblige him.

“This is my stop. Home sweet home.” Riley stopped at the bottom of the stairs that led to the entrance of her building and turned to Liam. She looked more gleeful than she actually was.

He glanced up at the plain red brick building. It was nothing special, but he made a mental note of the address numbers over its clear glass entryway. He knew it was unlikely he’d ever see her again, but on the off-chance, maybe someday if he was ever in the neighborhood … no, he thought … there’s no point in going there. “I see that ...it’s nice.”

Riley looked at him with a hopeful expression. “I know you said you had an early flight in the morning, but … if you’d like to come up …”

“I wish I could, Riley. Trust me, I want to more than you know; however, the limo will be here soon with my friends, and ...” he swept a strand of blowing hair from her face, memorizing her every feature. “... I don’t want to make this harder on either one of us.”

Nodding, Riley gave a half-smile. “I understand.”

They stared at one another for a moment, hoping to prolong the inevitable. “Come here, you.” Liam pulled her into him and wrapped his arms around her. ”I can never thank you enough for everything tonight, Riley. I’m so glad I ran into you. Well ... actually you ran into me.” Riley let out a soft laugh that made his heart skip a beat. “You were the best part of my trip, Riley. I mean it.”

Before they knew it, the limo pulled up alongside the sidewalk in front of Riley’s apartment. Both felt a sinking feeling, knowing this was the end, and embraced a little tighter as the squeak of the limo’s brakes dulled and the awaiting engine ran in the silent backdrop.

Riley drew in a breath, the heels of her shoes tapping one another. “I guess this is goodbye?”

Frowning, Liam’s palms moved up to her face and rested along her jawline. “I’m afraid it looks that way.” He leaned down and kissed her gently, her arms winding around the back of his neck to hold him there for as long as she possibly could.

Knowing if he didn’t end it there, it never would, Liam broke their kiss, stroking his hand through her hair and said, “Take care, Riley.”

She smiled back. “You too, Liam.”

Not wanting to leave until he was sure she made it inside safely, Liam watched from the sidewalk while Riley slowly made her way up the concrete steps, scouring through her bag as she did so. When she reached the top, she stepped in front of the locked door, frantically digging and shaking her bag in search of the keys to get in.

“Everything okay up there?” Liam called up to her as she knelt down and started frantically tossing items from her purse, slamming them down next to her feet: wallet, cell phone, lip gloss, ink pens, breath mints, hand sanitizer, a half-eaten bag of skittles, a box cutter she didn’t know she had, a marshmallow bunny from Easter, Midol, tampons …

“Mother fuck,” she grumbled in frustration to herself before yelling back cheerfully, “Yes, just looking for my keys. They’re always at the bottom,” she laughed, trying to make light of it.

“They’re in your hand, Riley,” she heard him point out when she finally gazed down into her hand and slowly opened her palm. Liam let out a laugh when he saw her face twist up, realizing she had them the entire time.

“Get out of here. You said you didn’t want to make this harder.” Riley began stuffing everything back into her bag.

He continued to laugh as he threw his hands up and stepped away. “I’m going.”

As soon as she unlocked the door and walked inside to the lit-up entryway, she heard the limo pull away. Everything in her wanted to look back in hopes he’d stayed behind by some chance and was walking up those steps, approaching the door, wanting her to let him in. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath; the greatest guy she’d ever met was gone, and the only way to see him again would require a Google search.

In her mind, though, she had made a prince’s dream come true. Maybe she wasn’t half bad after all.

In a huge way, Liam did the same for her. Too bad he would never know it.

___________

Riley opened the door and stepped inside her dark apartment, closing it behind her. After such a long day, feeling a little disheartened, all she wanted to do was slip into some comfy night clothes, wash her face, brush her teeth and crash until next week. Taking two steps away from the door, her foot caught on something and she went flying forward, landing with a hard thud to the floor.

It felt like the wind had been knocked right out of her chest when she hit the ground. “Son-of-a--?” She pushed herself up on her knees, shook out her sore hands, then reached over to flip the light switch on.

“Alyssa?” Riley whispered.

Lying on the ground, curled into a peaceful little ball, was her roommate, still in the same clothes she last saw her in, hands pressed together and tucked under her cheek like a sleeping cherub. Riley crawled over to Alyssa, swept her hair out of her face, and checked for breathing. The strong smell of alcohol emanated from her tiny sighs -- Alyssa wasn’t a heavy drinker.

Concerned, Riley jiggled her arm. “Sweetie, are you okay?”

An angelic murmur was the only answer to her question.

Not wanting to leave her on the floor, Riley stood up and bent down, her hands grasping both of Alyssa’s wrists before she pulled her down their hallway as gently as she could and stepped into her best friend's bedroom.

Huffing out of breath, she made it next to Alyssa’s bed. Riley crouched down and tried to lift her onto the mattress, but Alyssa was dead weight. Maybe she had no other choice but to leave her there.

Riley pulled a blanket and pillow from the bed, rolled Alyssa to her side, and got her as comfortable as she could. After placing a wastebasket next to her friend and leaving a bottled water on the night table, she patted her back. “I have so many things to tell you in the morning, Lyss. You’d be so proud of me.” Riley swallowed down the emotions that had threatened to escape since she realized Liam had left for good. Her voice broken and feeble, she continued, “I took that risk. I was fearless, just like you told me to be. It didn’t work out the way I had hoped, but …” she sniffled through a small smile, blinking back tears. “... I have no regrets.”

Riley rose to her feet and headed for the door when she heard a faint voice call out from behind that stopped her in her tracks. “Ri?”

She turned her head. “Hmm?”

“I’m always proud of you.”

Switching the light off, Riley smiled back at her friend, who still appeared to be resting in a calm slumber. “I know. Good night, bestie.”

---------------

The next morning, just as the sun had peeked from behind the clouds and the air was fresh with newness and warmth, Riley woke. Today would differ from every day before. She didn’t want to lie in bed all day and dwell on what-might-have-beens or how her life was a dead end to nowhere. She was determined she wanted something more out of it -- whatever that may be.

Slipping on a pair of trainers, running tights and a long sleeve shirt, she pulled her hair up in a high ponytail and headed out.

She made it two blocks before collapsing on a bench, gasping for air, and flipping off a kid on a bike who was laughing and taunting her.

After five more blocks of running and taking a break at nearly every bench or stoop along the way -- that same jerky kid still deriding her as he circled around each block -- Riley made her way back to her building, hunched over and sweaty. She didn’t jog as far as she’d liked to, but she made the effort, for which she was pleased with herself.

It also didn’t hurt that there was a mouthy kid out there somewhere with two flat bicycle tires, crying to his mom, that was giving her a new boost of life.

Reaching for the door of her building, she chuckled to herself thinking about his pouty little face -- haha, sucks to be you, kid -- when someone yelled out her name.

“Shit,” she panicked, thinking the boy’s parents had found her and had come to beat her ass. Riley fumbled with her keys, trying to make a quick getaway inside.

“Hey, Riley! Stop.” The voice sounded oddly familiar, and curiosity couldn’t stop her from whipping her head around to take a quick peek. She instantly recognized the man who was racing up the stairs towards her, from the bar. He was one of the guys from Liam’s party last night who helped after the collision.

Pulling the keys from the lock and gripping the pepper spray attached to them, she jumped back when he suddenly hopped up next to her like a fireball of energy.

“Riley. I’m so glad I caught up with you. I’m Maxwell -- we met last night -- and this is Rashad.” He pointed over his shoulder. The man gave a simple nod in return. “He was there, too.”

Her brows knit in confusion. “Oookay. You both aren’t here by chance upset over a couple of slashed bike tires, are you? Because that wasn’t me. I saw who did it, though, if you need a witness statement.” Riley’s eyes shifted around, looking for a person to match her fake would-be description.

Maxwell shook his head with a chuckle and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, her gaze falling to it. “Nah, I came to talk to you about Liam. You’re all he could talk about when he got back to the hotel last night. He went on and on about the cafe, and the trip to the Statue of Liberty, and how beautiful you are ...”

“He -- he did?” She was pleasantly surprised, her heart bursting at his words.

“Yeah. We’re heading back to Cordonia so Liam can find someone to marry and all that jazz. But before I go, I wanted to officially extend to you an invitation to join us for the festivities in Cordonia. Sooo … is there somewhere we can talk?”

----------------

“You want me to do what?” Riley jumped up from the sofa, her eyes wide and mouth gaping as she gawked back at Maxwell, who was sitting at the far end. Her trembling hand shot to her forehead before she paced back and forth. “Let me get this straight. You want to sponsor me to compete to marry a man I just met last night? And not just any man, a prince. You’re going to fly me halfway across the world -- You could be the Official Royal Serial Killer, for all I know -- then prance me around like some beauty pageant contestant? And all I have to do is say ‘yes to the dress’ that you can’t afford? Just hop right on a plane with two strange men, huh? How naïve do I look to you?” Riley paused for a second. “Don’t answer that.”

“I’m not doing it for you. I saw how Liam looked at you last night at the bar, and later when he returned from your date. I’ve never seen him that happy before. Honestly, I don’t want him to lose that. We’re kinda crunched for time, though. I’ve got a plane leaving in an hour.”

“An hour?” Riley questioned as she plopped down on the coffee table, her back to Maxwell and the guy in the chair across the room who hadn’t said a word the whole time. It was a once-in-a-lifetime offer to travel somewhere new and exciting and literally rub elbows with royalty. To live out that fairytale that most girls could only dream of. But more importantly, it was a way to see Liam again, and she wanted to so badly … if Maxwell was indeed telling the truth.

Even if nothing came of it, there was no job tying her down anymore. Her dad had just gotten married to her stepfather and stayed busy as a chef for Beyonce and Jay-Z, so he would be fine, and she had enough money in savings to pay her portion of the rent while she was gone and expenses for her travels. There was just one thing she would insist on.

Riley spun around on the table, her eyes flashing between the two men. “I will do this -- on one condition.”

Maxwell clapped his hands excitedly. “Yes! Just name it and it’s yours.”

“Max.” Rashad leaned forward in his chair, his elbows pressed into his knees. “You don’t even know what she wants yet.”

“I’m getting to that.” Maxwell turned to her with an arched brow. “Okay, Riley. What is your condition?”

She hadn’t even asked Alyssa yet, but Riley steepled her fingers and volunteered her, anyway. “My roommate has to go with me.”

“No problemo.”

“What -- Really?”

“Sure. She can ride the jet back with us and I’ll even help her find a good hotel room nearby so you two can visit … if you’re able to find time in between all the competitions, balls, traveling, lessons, and what not. It’ll be great!”

Riley shook her head adamantly, not willing to budge on the issue. “No! I want Alyssa there for all of those things. If I even have the slightest chance of being a serious contender and a fully functioning human being, I need someone there to make sure I don’t do anything stupid … and I will … a lot. Plus, she’s my best friend, and I’m not doing this without her.”

Feeling the pressure to relent and the seconds ticking away until takeoff, Maxwell’s shoulders slumped, taking in Riley’s pleading expression. “I -- I don’t know what to do. Your friend would have to be sponsored also in order to stay with you. She would have to be a suitor and compete for Liam’s hand just like you and all the other ladies, and there can only be one sponsee for each noble house. If you’re our pick, then she would need to have someone of nobility who doesn’t have a suitor yet and knows it’s all a ... ruse …” he trailed off, grinning impishly, as an idea suddenly popped into his head. Maxwell’s gaze swept across the room and landed on his friend, Rashad, who had a deer-in-the-headlights look, knowing exactly what he was getting at.

“Oh no. Leave me out of this,” he insisted while waving his hands back and forth. “This is all on you, Maxwell.”

“No, don’t say that yet.” Riley sprang to her feet and grabbed a picture frame from a nearby table, falling to her knees in front of Rashad to beg. “This is Alyssa.” She cheerfully pointed her friend out in the picture, delighted when the Lord of Domvallier’s eyes grew and seemed more than intrigued. “She’s not only beautiful, charming, and supportive, but she’s the smartest person I know. Everyone just loves her. And even though she won’t want to win because of me, she’ll represent your house with the greatest of integrity and propriety. I swear it.”

“It’s for Liam,” Maxwell interjected, wagging his brows. “Imagine how grateful he’ll be when he finds out your part in making this happen for him.”`

Rashad let out a heavy groan. “Max, you know I would do anything for a friend -- especially Liam -- but it’s not that simple. There’s a reason why Domvallier opted not to have a suitor join this season: I have business dealings in California that coincide with some of the competitions. And with Mother’s and Father’s health in decline, I couldn’t possibly burden them with traveling and overseeing a suitor. It just wouldn’t work.”

Riley turned to Maxwell. “Well … couldn’t she just hang out with us most of the time? It’s not like she’d be in it to win it, anyway.”

“I don’t see why not.” Maxwell shrugged. “We all travel and stay together for the most part anyway.” He glanced over at Rashad, who could do nothing but stare at the two of them bouncing like eager children with big cheshire grins, while he literally decided the fate of a woman who had no idea she had just been volunteered to “pretend” compete for the hand of a prince the entire summer, in another country, and had to board a plane in just under an hour.

Rashad sighed and took the photo from Riley’s hand, giving it a quick glance. He was definitely smitten by the bright, blue-eyed woman with the big dimpled smile and wouldn’t mind getting to know her better, particularly if she was everything described to him. “I should have gone with Drake back to the plane.” He shook his head and handed the photo back to Riley. “Can’t believe I’m doing this, but --”

Before he even finished his thought, Maxwell and Riley leaped to their feet to celebrate, whooping and howling around him, ruffling his jet black hair, hugging, and clapping him several times on the chest.

“What’s going on?”

The three of them whipped their heads around at the raspy-sounding voice that caught their attentions.

“Lyss!” Riley’s eyes lit up at the sight of her best friend standing there; she couldn’t wait to share all the good news with her. Maxwell, and particularly Rashad’s, jaws dropped at the sight before them. They both did a double take of the picture in the frame and then back to the petite brunette who wore a rumpled party dress, was missing one flat shoe, and sported smudged mascara under her sunken eyes and hair flying in every direction.

Riley moved over to Alyssa, placing a gentle hand on her arm with a smile. “Alyssa. These gentlemen are from Cordonia -- It’s somewhere you need a plane ride for. This is Lord Maxwell Beaumont.” She gestured and received a wave back. “And this is Lord Rashad of Doberman Pinscher,” she stated in a posh accent.

“Domvallier,” he corrected, stunned and still unable to take his eyes off his new suitor.

“Lords?” she questioned in a feeble tone; Riley nodded back at her.

Alyssa smiled at the two strangers, then lowered her head and curtsied like she was wearing a ball gown before them. “How do you do? Welcome to House Devereaux-Brooks. It’s so kind of you to stop by and make our acquaintances. Please do make yourselves at home.” She straightened back up and immediately turned to Riley. “I’m dying. Where’s the Advil?”

Riley insisted Alyssa have a seat while she retrieved the Advil and a glass of water for her. Feeling that was a fair deal, Alyssa stumbled over to the couch, accidentally stepping on Maxwell, who held onto her arms and helped her the rest of the way. When she was seated, she leaned forward, rubbing soothing circles around her temples, willing the room to stop spinning. Riley shuffled back with two pills and a cool bottle of water, and handed them to Alyssa, who hastily threw back and chugged nearly the entire thing. She couldn’t remember a time when she felt so thirsty.

No one knew really how to respond just yet. Rashad conferred in hushed tones with Maxwell, as Alyssa kept her eyes closed for a moment, taking in slow, deep breaths. Everything from head to toe ached and throbbed.

Finally, she smacked her still-dry mouth and announced, “Okay, I’m going back to bed. Goodnight, everyone. It was so nice to meet you all.” She moved to the edge of the sofa when Riley pressed lightly on her shoulders, holding her back.

“Wait a minute, Lyss. I have something I want to talk to you about.”

Lowering the shades in the living room to block the sun from Alyssa’s sensitive eyes, Riley began to explain how she met Liam at the bar last night and was asked to go out for a drink with him. Alyssa nodded her head slowly as she followed along, somewhat remembering their phone conversation about the date, how he was a prince, and the Statue of Liberty -- Lyss was proud of herself for being a part of making that happen. The next of their conversation continued on to Liam returning to his country for the social season in which he was expected to find someone to marry by the end of the summer. “I’m so sorry he had to leave, but what does any of this have to do with you, Ri?”

Riley glanced over her shoulder. “That’s where these two guys come in.”

Alyssa followed her friend’s gaze then shook her head. “I’m not following.”

“Maxwell wants to sponsor me to travel to Cordonia to compete for Liam. And we leave in an hour. Yay!” She raised her arms in a V, trying to garner excitement from her roommate, knowing she’d probably freak out.

And she did. “YOU CAN’T GO TO A FOREIGN COUNTRY! FOR ALL YOU KNOW THESE GUYS ARE SERIAL KILLERS OR SEX TRAFFICKERS!” Alyssa looked at Rashad and smiled shyly. “Not you, of course.” She then eyed Maxwell. “Probably him.”

“I know, I know. But that’s kinda, sorta where you come in.” Riley’s eyes danced around the room while tugging on the hem of her shirt.

“What do you mean?”

Maxwell checked the time on his phone as Riley laid out the details, point by point, to her friend, who guzzled the last bit of her water as she found out she had basically been enlisted into becoming a suitor as well. Alyssa spit out her water. “WHAT?”

Rashad sighed and looked for paper towels to dry off his lap.

Taking in Alyssa’s bug-eyed stare, Riley scrambled to make the whole situation sound more appealing to her.

“There’s skiing --”

“You know I can’t ski.”

“There’s ice skating --”

“Are you trying to break both of my ankles at the same time?”

“There’s horseback riding --”

“Oh, God, horses?”

“And beaches.”

Alyssa started to complain before stopping herself. “Okay, that doesn’t sound so bad. But still, Ri --”

“Please, Alyssa,” Riley pleaded, her still-small voice just above a whisper. She sat down on the coffee table again, across from her friend, eyes glassy. “I would never ask you to do something so big for me. But, I want you there … I need you there. This … this is the guy, Lyss. He’s the one.”

Seeing the hopeful expression staring back at her, Alyssa’s heart sank. She set aside the empty bottle and leaned forward, placing a compassionate hand on Riley’s. “First of all, you don’t need me. You’re more than capable of doing this on your own. I mean, give yourself a little credit … you landed a prince.” They both let out soft laughs before she continued. “But, secondly, you know I’m a hopeless romantic. So if this is the only way you’ll go … count me in.”

As the two of them hugged and Riley expressed her fervent thanks, Maxwell cleared his throat and interrupted their happy moment. The girls turned to him as he stated, “I hate to break all of this up -- I really do. This is like the totally awesome stuff I live for -- but we’re pressed for time now. Our friend Drake is already on the plane waiting and isn’t above leaving without us.”

“Oh good. Doesn’t he sound like a little ray of sunshine?” Alyssa scoffed, causing Riley to snicker and drawing half a smirk from Rashad.

The guys headed down to the limo while the girls rummaged through their rooms, stuffing as many of their things as they could possibly fit into suitcases and bags. After taking turns getting quick showers, being vigilant of the time, they double checked to make sure they had what they needed for an extended trip, planning to call friends and family on the drive to the airport to let them know where they would be.

Alyssa slipped on a pair of sunglasses as she stepped into the hallway, while Riley locked the door to their apartment behind them. “And you’re sure this Liam is worth all this?”

Riley regarded her thoughtfully before letting out a contented sigh, “Yeah. He’s worth it.”

Alyssa shrugged and pushed the sunglasses higher on her nose. “Well, if we don’t die, we’ll have a hell of a story to tell.”

-----------

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blackswaneuroparedux · 3 years

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Anonymous asked: Have you watched Lupin? What did you think? (And are you a fan of the books or other adaptations of the character?)

The short answer is yes, I have seen Lupin on Netflix. Overall I enjoyed it so long as I suspended my disbelief at certain things.

Unfortunately it took being struck down by Covid and being bedridden for me to actually to binge watch the whole series. So I was behind the curve when my friends, French and those outside of France, started to talk about it around me. I had to beg them not to give away spoilers until I had seen it all.

It did surprise me that it won rave widespread reviews outside France because usually French drama series don’t travel very well outside of France. I’m sure even Netflix had no idea how successful it would be for them. I’m sure being in Covid lockdown had something to do with it. In any case I don’t begrudge its success as it’s well earned.

However I wasn’t too surprised that within France itself the French reviews were decidely mixed and divisive. The critic at Le Point painfully hit the nail on the head when he wrote, “Le plus gros défaut de l'ensemble reste la pauvreté des personnages, tous unidimensionnels, caricaturaux et aussi épais que du papier à cigarette.“ - loosely translated as, ‘the biggest flaw of the whole thing remains the poverty of the characters, all one-dimensional, cartoonish and as thick as cigarette paper’.

There’s a growing amount of good French stuff on TV and streaming services but a non-French audience will not have had the chance to have seen all of it yet. I can think of any number of French television drama/dramedy/cmedy series that are much better than Lupin with better plots, characters, and even a truer perspective of French society and even modern day France (Dix pour cent (Call My Agent!), Le Bureau des Légendes, Engrenages, Baron Noir, and Paris Police 1900). But you would be hard pressed to find anything that comes close to Lupin just for the sake of something fun to watch during the Covid lockdown.

What makes the current generation of home made French television series so interesting is how much of it is a reflection of France’s own anxieities about itself and its role in a increasingly English speaking dominating world. In a funny way it sees itself as defiant plucky Asterix fighting off the Roman American cultural hordes from totally invading their Francophone culture.

For sure, it has societal and racial issues stemming from its colonial legacy and issues of immigration and integration (France has the largest Muslim population in Europe). However it seems to want to ‘resolve’ these issues through the almost sacramental adherence to French secularist ideals rather than American inspired ideas of social justice and equity. There’s always been something very admirable about the French - from the time of General de Gaulle and perhaps before - always swinging from snooty ambivalence to outright antipathy towards the influence of American culture ‘americanising’ French culture (no to Walmarts or fast food chains for example).

Is it any wonder then that Netflix’s ill-conceived American series ‘Emily in Paris’ was widely hated and mocked within France for just perpetuating those lazy American tropes of Paris and French culture?

Personally I know Francophile Americans, long resident in Paris, who were frankly embarrassed and spent a lot of time apologising to their French friends. I have one American friend who has told me that she was so mad that she would have blind folded Emily and shoved her hard in the car boot and drive her all the way to the poorest of the banlieues in the grimey crime saturated suburbs of Paris - Seine-Saint-Denis came to mind - and dump her preening arse there. She would slap her and tell the spoilt entitied brat to make her own way back home - you know, to her spacious apartment in one of the most expensive arrondissements of Paris that of course(!) any American intern working for French marketing firms can afford.

I digress. My apologies. Watching this God awful show gives me PTSD.

Onto Lupin.

Thankfully Lupin doesn’t try to play to non-French tropes of what Paris is or isn’t. It does skim the surface of current discontents within French culture and society (race, class, power, and money) but ever so lightly so as to not get in the way of just spinning a good crowd pleasing yarn. It invites you to have fun and not to think too much. I have to be honest and say I enjoyed it as long as I suspended my disbelief here and there.

Lupin refers of course to the character Arsène Lupin, the French gentleman thief who stole jewellery from Parisian haute bourgeois and aristocracy at the turn of the century. Lupin, as written in the novels and short stories by Maurice Leblanc between 1905 and his death in 1941, was the archetypical anti-hero, a Robin Hood who stole from those who deserved it but kept the loot himself. He was often portrayed often a force for good, while operating on the wrong side of the law.

Lupin never really made much of an impact outside of France as he had within France where is revered with many French film and television adaptations. In England, we already had a Lupin type character in the form of A.J. Raffles, a cricket playing gentleman thief with his aristocratic side kick, Bunny. E.W. Horning’s stories of Raffles’ daring heists proved to be quite popular with the British public when Raffles first appeared on the scene in 1898. And even later Leslie Charteris’ The Saint took over the mantle from Raffles as the gentleman thief/adventuring Robin Hood.

I think Hollywood tried to introduce him to an English speaking audience (legendary actor John Barrymore even played him) but he didn’t really take off and eventually they found their gentleman thief archetype in Sir Charles Lytton aka The Phantom (played by David Niven and Christopher Plummer) in the Pink Panther movies. So Lupin never got the English audience he deserved.

I first got wind of who Arsène Lupin was when I was growing up in Japan as a child. As strange as it sounds Lupin was big in Japan especially after World War Two. The Japanese did their own take on the Lupin character using Japanese actors and plot lines but it was Lupin.

I don’t know how exactly but I remember watching these scratchy DVDs of these Lupin inspired films. I think it was one of my parents’ Japanese friends who was mad for all things Lupin and he had studied French literature in France. Jogging my memory I now recall these black & white films were done in the 1950s. One starred Keiji Sada and the other version I remember was with Eija Okada (he was in Resnais’ classic film, Hiroshima Mon Amour) as Arsene Lupin called (I think) Kao-no Nai Otoko. I didn’t understand most of it at the time because it was all in Japanese and my Japanese (at the time) was pitiful, but it looked fun.

There was even a Japanese manga version of Lupin which was called Lupin III, - so named because he was the grandson of the real Arsène Lupin.

The 1960s manga series spawned generations of TV series which I do remember watching and finding it terribly exciting if somewhat confusing.

It was French expatriate friends whom my family knew that introduced me to the real Arsène Lupin. They had a few of the books authored by Maurice Leblanc. It was in French so I read them to improve my French but enjoyed the story along the way.

I also remember them showing me scratchy episodes of the 1970s Franco-German TV series ‘Arsène Lupin’ with the monocle wearing Georges Descrières in the lead role. It was a classical re-telling of the adventures of the aristocratic gentleman-burglar and very family friendly viewing. I don’t really remember much of it to be honest.

It was some years before I actually started to read more of the Maurice Leblanc’s novels and short stories collection. I have them all now. I was a teen and I remember being stuck in a snowed in a Swiss Alpine chalet and with nothing else to do but pull out a few dog eared books from the bookshelves belonging to our French host and read to pass the time.

I read Les Dents du tigre, Arsène Lupin vs Herlock Sholmes, and Les Huit Coups de l'horloge and thoroughly enjoyed them in the original French. I was already reading classic detective and mystery novels (Sherlock Holmes, Poirot etc) so it was natural to read the adventures of Arsène Lupin.

I haven’t got around to reading all the novels and short stories but I have read most of them and I enjoyed them all immensely. In the same way Conan Doyle, through Holmes and Watson, manages to conjure a convincing picture of late Victorian and early Edwardian England, so Leblanc manages to give us a taste of Belle Epoque France through the eyes of his suave gentleman-thief, Arsène Lupin.

Indeed it's a lot like reading Sherlock Holmes in that you're always trying to figure out how he did it, but the difference is that you are rooting for the bad guy. You can’t help but be drawn to this gentleman thief who is charming, comic, playful, and romantic and generous. Lupin is not an intellectual puzzle-solver but first a master criminal, later a detective helper, who maintains his curious ethics throughout his adventures. In this regard he is very much the anti-Sherlock Holmes; and I wasn’t disappointed when I actually read the story where Lupin faces off with Holmes himself. Brilliant!

I’ve also seen the 2004 French movie with Romain Duris in the Lupin lead role and it also starred the majestic Kristin Scott Thomas and the sexy Eva Green.

It was a decent adventure flick and it was a clear confluence of different Lupin novels (The Queen's Necklace (introducing Lupin's childhood), The Hollow Needle (where the treasure is the macguffin of the story), The Arrest of Arsène Lupin (the gala on the ship as a backdrop) and Josephine Balsamo, (one of Lupin’s most memorable opponents in the The Countess Of Cagliostro).

Romaine Duris, a fine classical actor, was I felt miscast because he didn’t have Lupin’s levity of wit and be at ease within himself. I love Duris in his other films but in Arsène Lupin and even in his other film, Moliere, he seemed ill at ease with the role. Perhaps that’s just me.

The latest Netflix adaptation (or reimagining to be more precise) is a welcome addition to the world of Arsène Lupin.If you don’t over-think it, it’s bags of fun.

Omar Sy is immensely likeable. Sy is a deservedly a big star in France - he won the best actor César for “The Intouchables,” an international hit - and has played forgettable secondary characters in big-budget American special effects movies (he was Chris Pratt’s assistant in “Jurassic World” and a minor mutant in “X-Men: Days of Future Past”). It was reportedly his desire to play Arsène Lupin, whom he’s compared to James Bond (“fun, funny, elegant”), that led to the series, created by British writer George Kay. And it is on his charm that the series largely, though not entirely, rests.

So the basic story revolves around a jewellery heist. Sy plays Assane Diop, a first-generation French-Senegalese man in contemporary Paris. A collection of Lupin stories, a gift from his father - whose undeserved fate Assane set himself to avenge in long-delayed, Count of Monte Cristo style upon a criminal tycoon - has made the actual Lupin books a foundation of his life and profitably illicit career. This fan-ship goes as far as borrowing practical ideas from the stories and constructing aliases out of anagrams of “Arsene Lupin,” a habit that will attract the interest of a low-level police detective (Soufiane Guerrab as Youssef Guedira) who shares Assane’s love of the books. (That the detective also shares an initial with Lupin’s own adversary, Inspector Ganimard, is possibly not a coincidence.)

Among the many comic delights of Lupin, is an unspoken one. Time and again, the show’s hero, master thief Assane Diop is able to slip into a place unnoticed, or by assuming a minor disguise that prevents witnesses from providing an accurate description of him to law enforcement.

Why is this funny?

Because Omar Sy is six feet three (and, since most actors are short, seems even taller), is roughly as wide as soccer pitch, and is memorable even before he flashes his infectious million-Euro smile. This is not a man for whom anonymity should be possible - even allowing for racial bias in a majority-white country, Assane would be memorable and distinctive - and Lupin seems cheekily aware of this. Like the various incredible sleights of hand Assane deploys to pull off his thefts and escapes, his ability to be anyone, anywhere, is treated more as a superpower than as something even the world’s greatest criminal would be able to pull off.

At one point, when he’s slated for a cable news appearance as a much older man, we learn that Assane is also a master of disguise. The revelation of this skill arrives with a wink in the show, and it feels pointless to ask where he learned it, or how he affords movie-quality latex and makeup. Or rather, asking the question feels wrong.

We know this is impossible, the show seems to be asking its viewers again and again, but isn’t it so much fun?

The performances and the production - it has that particularly European filmic quality of feeling natural even when it gets stylish - keep the series warm even as the plot is made up of incredulous contraptions that require everything to go right at just the right time and for human psychology to be 100% predictable. Its physics are classical rather than quantum, one might say, and like the world itself, which becomes more curious the deeper you peer into things, it is best handled along the surface. You do not want to take too much time working out the likelihood of any of this happening. Just go along for the ride.

Somehow, though, it all works because Sy is so magnetic and charming that questioning plot logic feels wildly besides the point. Though he never looks appreciably different in his various aliases (including one ill-conceived live-TV appearance done under old-man makeup and a thick beard), he changes his posture and voice ( if you watch it in French that is) enough to allow for the willing suspension of disbelief, in the same way that any lead actor as Superman has to do when playing Clark Kent. But Sy and the show are at their strongest when Assane is just being his own Superman self, utterly relaxed and confident in his own skin, and so captivating that his ex-partner, Claire, can’t really resist him despite ample reason to.

If Assane seems practically perfect in every way, he is not perfectly perfect. His most obvious failing is that his criminal shenanigans and revenging make him less than reliable in his daily life, affecting his relationships with ex-partner Claire (Ludivine Sagnier, whom non-French audiences might recognise from “The Young Pope” and “The New Pope”), who despairs of his inability to show up on time to see his son Raoul (Etan Simon). Like Sy, Sagnier brings a lot of soul to her part - though onscreen far less, she’s as important as Sy to the series’ success - and the two actors have great chemistry. Also impressive and key to creating sympathy are the actors who play their flashback teenage selves, Mamadou Haidara and Ludmilla Makowski. Really, you could do away with action elements and build a series around them.

This is a pity because Lupin often fumbles its emotional reveals in other parts - the story of Diop being torn between his job and his family feels like wheel-spinning, rather than genuine emotional intrigue.

Soufiane Guerrab is wasted in the Young Detective Consumed by the Case role and spends most of this season pinning colour printouts of book covers to cork boards and getting waved off by his colleagues, who are all blinded or otherwise hampered by careerism.

But to my mind the weakest link is the villain himself and his daughter. Veteran actor Hervé Pierre hams it up as Hubert Pellegrini, a business tycoon who is the patriarch of the Pellegrini family. He just comes across as animated cartoon villain with no character depth (think moustache twirling Russian villain, Boris Badenov, in the Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoon shows). He just emotes anger a lot without any nuance or hint of complexity.

Even Clotilde Hesme who plays the daughter who is unaware of her father’s criminal tendencies is miscast. For the record I adore Clotilde Hesme as she one of France’s most talented classical actresses (that non-French outsiders will not have heard of). She is a classically theatre trained actress and is one of the best stage actresses of her generation that I have ever seen. I’ve seen her in plays where she is just mesmerising. She has said before that she’s more comfortable on the stage than she is on the screen. And when she has been on screen she still has been a powerful presence. She’s actually won a César too. Here in Lupin, she seems to have no agency and looks bored with nothing really to do.I really hope they give her more scenes in the next part of Lupin.

The series is at its best when following Diop enacting his plans, and when revealing each one from a different vantage, making us privy to every moving part like a magician revealing his secrets. The show captures the momentum of a clockwork heist, the tension of sudden obstacles and the ingenuity of improvised responses, with thrilling precision (especially in “Chapter 1 - Le Collier de la reine,” directed by Now You See Me’s Louis Leterrier).

Lupin is also politically incisive when it wants to be; it brings to mind Ladj Ly’s Oscar-nominated 2019 film Les Misérables, which adapted the broad strokes of Victor Hugo’s novel about the 1832 Paris Rebellion, and modernised the story by focusing on the police brutality faced by non-white Parisians.

Lupin opens with Diop disguised as cleaning staff and entering the Louvre after-hours, alongside dozens of forgotten, anonymous non-white workers as they pass by “La Liberté guidant le people,” Eugène Delacroix’s famous painting of the July Revolution of 1830 which replaced France’s hereditary rule with popular sovereignty.

Before any semblance of plot or character, Lupin centres broken ideals and promises unkept (without giving too much away, the show’s primary villain has much more nationalistic view of French culture and history which merely adds to a cartoonish caricature than a complex character). The rest of the episode is about valuable jewels once owned by Marie Antionette - one of the most recognisable symbols of wealth and extravagance in times of extreme poverty - which are put up for auction by the Pelligrini family, and bid on by other wealthy collectors with bottomless purses and no sense of irony.

Granted, beyond this auction subplot, explorations of race and class are largely limited to individual interactions, but the show continues to refer back to (and implicitly comment on) its source material in ways that wink at the audience. An elderly, unassuming target of Diop’s schemes seems like an unlikely victim at first - Diop, though he acts in his own self-interest, usually displays a moral compass - until this victim reveals the colonial origins of her wealth, immediately re-contextualising the ethics of the situation, in a manner that Leblanc’s stories did not. (The show is yet to apply this lens to Arsène Lupin himself, who Diop treats with reverence, but that’s a secondary concern since Lupin is entirely fictional in-world).

Barring some nagging structural problems - like cutting to flashbacks when things are getting exciting, or epilogues that feel ten minutes too long - Lupin mostly works. It plants a few personal seeds early on, which it keeps hinting at without fully addressing, but by the time its scattered elements come into focus, the show finally figures out how to weave them together, and delivers a mid-season cliffhanger that renders many of these flaws irrelevant.

Lupin manages to have fun even with an antiquated premise - the story of a suave con-man who charms his way through high-profile robberies - while adding just enough new spin on the concept to feel refreshing. Omar Sy may not have much to work with, but his alluring presence makes Assane Diop feel like a worthy successor to Arsène Lupin.

Lupin isn’t going to win César, BAFTA, or Emmy awards, or even turn heads for its ability to develop tertiary or even secondary plots or characters - that doesn’t really matter. You’re there to see a difficult hero be difficult and heroic - everyone else is there to be charmed, vexed, or eluded by them. Sy’s performance bounds off the screen, and is almost musical. He floats through scenes like he glides over the roofs and through the back alleys of Paris; he outmanoeuvres his foes with superior literary references and sheer athleticism. He is irresistible and also good at everything he tries, even kidnapping.

I would encourage anyone to watch Lupin for a fun care free ride. But the only caveat I would make is watch it in the original French.

If you don’t know French then put on the subtitles to understand (that’s what they are there for). The real crime is to watch this (or any film or television series) dubbed in a foreign language. It’s disrespectful to the actors and film makers and it’s silly because it’s comical to watch something dubbed over.

Please watch it in the original French.

Then go and read the books. You won’t regret it.

Thanks for your question.

#question #ask #lupin #omar sy #netflix #tv show #culture #personal #arsene lupin #japan #maurice leblanc #france #french #society #arts

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bigmafluff · 3 years

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My Story Chapt.1 & 2

Story!

The Ultimate Fan fiction/Love story! Tom Hiddleston,

This is fiction it is not real I'm not this lucky!

family!Courage ! Faith! And Kids! This book is a new life after parenthood. It is my new journey. And a not so guilty obsession. Thanks for reading!

Summary.

What happens When a Single Mom Who Has devoted her Soul to her Family. receives her Empty nest papers . That the world said she would never have. Hi I'm Shannon ! I'm a writer well I want to be . Need a Publisher first. Where are the Best . In the U.K. Didn't count on Love too. Come find out what happened. It's a great adventure.

Chapter 1

A shocking encounter.

{I want to break free. By Queen, Hello By Lionel Richie, and I can't feel my my face. By the weekend}

FREEDOM!

A new Beginning ! Yup something I thought this would never have. You see I'm a Autism Mom and helped my sis raise her 2 kid when she couldn't by herself. I was One of those mom's that where told That .I was gonna be Raising my Son Lucas all my life. Well God and Lucas had other plans. I'm So Dang Proud!!!!!! So Kids grown. Lucas has an Aide, A Job as a Mechanic/Car dealer back Home . I think the mechanic stuff is his hobbies cause My Lucas Love's to tinker. My Nephew is working for NASA/ and Microsoft which I also think

NASA thing is the hobbies . As I said Tinker Just smaller. Now My Niece Katrina . She Is my Butterfly . Totally out side the box, 4 tour's In the Navy. She's A Young Mama and A News Caster In Little Rock, Arkansas, USA. Here's the twist Her and Her kids do Video's on YouTube for fun.

Enough about My Babies. Writing was not the only reason to Go across the Pond to America's Father land. I had recently gone through several Surgeries to fix my body after losing a extreme amount of weight from a Lifetime of Issues with my weight. 2 charities offer to help me finish that Journey but the only Plastic Surgeon willing to touch me Is at Oxford University Hospital. So Here I Go A Strange women in a strange land .

So When I was all of sudden a Empty nest . I was struck with something I haven't thought bout sense childhood . What do I do when I grow up! LOL !! So I hit my bucket List and started @ the 2 Largest and hardest things to accomplish on that list . Fix my body and Write! . So College to get my literary degree. While Extreme Yoga, Running , lil' bit of Martial art's and Lessons In all form's of skating! [Skating Hobby AKA on DA list!] God, family, and Music Made it all worth it and surprisingly easy! Dream's come when your are working hard and not Looking for it. These are one of those.

Now I'm in a UK/London Airport bundled up with 3 List's and a map on my phone .Braving the unknown, Trying to find DA Baggage claim and Customs in the rather Large Heathrow Airport . Dang!!!! it was noisy! Honestly I wasn't even paying no attention to were I was going. I was just Focused on Trying hard to get out of this busy packed Building ,Stress &Anxiety times 10!!!!!

while heading to Customs Dragging 2 rolling cases and Large tote on my shoulder. I'm walking past a group of screaming women and teens along with flashing lights from camera's Butt I was determined to stay focused on Why I'm in a hurry. I hit something head on and drop to the ground my tote spill and it was like hitting a wall and all of a sudden all the noise stopped. I don't care who says other wise, British and Aussie Ascent's are smooth and sexy and butter! The are several men in the U.K. That send my fan girl hormones into Overload. But only 3 are Single Tom Hiddleston, Henry Cavill, and Luke Evan's.

Now Tom Hiddleston is epic. Stage, screen, voice, He is it. He is melt worthy . Hint's the screamers! 6/2 160 Stormy blue eyes , He's strutting the Black dye job for a movie he just finished he is a naturally curly blonde. I'm a sucker For men's curls no Joke. Pure Killer Eye Candy !!!!!

As I try to pick my things up and apologize I see a hand also picking up my things . He touched my hand and I look up and see those wonderful blue's I start to shake to nervous to talk . I shake my head and Just finish picking up my things . I don't have time for this and I don't want to have a fainting spell from nerves it this Airport. So keeping my head down I stand . Say Thank you and Apologize again for slamming into the man and Leave before he says anything.

One hour Later!!!!!

I made it to my hotel via Uber. I changed , called family especially Lucas my Captain America. I ordered pizza {Yes ! there is Pizza in the U.K."} And was going thru everything and found my Chromebook! But my Ticket receipt and my Night Manager Novel is missing . Well that sucks 'I'm hoping I can get home on the stub. I wasn't as mad about the receipt as I was about my Book. I Just bought it. Before I left I had watched the series With my sister. She said that I had to read

the book to get the full experience. I only just got past the 2nd chapter when I landed. Anyways I was laying down and working on the next book in my children's book arsenal. When I must of passed out . Cause I woke to The ringing of my phone.

I go to answer it .Noticing it was already morning. A very groggy Lucas Wishes Mama a good morning and goodnight due to the time difference. After 45minutes for trying to tell my son I am OK and he needed to go to bed. I was finally able to shower and get ready for my day. I decided to stay and write today so my body can adjust before I go rampaging thru London looking for a publisher. I got half way thru Luca 's day in wonderland when I git a knock at My room door.

I open The door and there he is again invading my Life and charging hormones I thought long dead. Thomas William Hiddleston and he was holding my book with the receipt sticking out of it and a white rose . I'm thinking DA rose was a sign of peace. I'm standing there speechless. I think He realized I was a little Star struck so he helped me Back in to my room . Sat me down and brought me the water bottle I had on my Nightstand . I took a sip and Shook My self out of the fog I was in.

I begin to stutter and When he put His Finger over my lips. He then Said " Calm yourself Girl then we have Us a chat Yes? Where is the Tea around here ,or do you drink it" . All I could do is point to the Mini fridge. Curiously He Looks in the fridge . Then I remembered The English drink it hot . Then I said Finally calmed enough to be clear.

" Stop ! Look above it next to the coffee pot. I drink my Tea cold. I'm sorry! I think the stuff you want is in the Lil' treasure box next to The pot Sir. After a Little while Mr. Hiddleston And I Had interesting Chat . Yes we did. Basically This very conceded ,Arrogant , But Knock-out Gorgeous Man. Basically Had to find me Just because I didn't ask his name or for selfie or any thing. Honestly I think he was Just messing with me cause He Saw My Funko babies on the coffee table . Yes! There were a couple of His there.

He asked what I was doing here In his Home Across the pond. I showed him my stories on my Chromebook. Hey I was thinking he might be able to help me. I told him I was looking for a publisher . I also told him I was Do to have surgery I a couple of weeks, while I was here at the University Hospital. Hey When I get nervous thing's just spew I can't help it. So I told Him all of It Right down to my sudden empty nest. All while he read one of my Stories and nodding. He is in the middle of, Luca and The Golden Lion.

Thomas asked me some Questions about the story. I asked him some to. We bantered and I was surprisingly calm and comfy just chatting along. No longer nervous or anxious . We had been talking for hours . Tom was getting ready to leave . He handed me my book then held my hand there then whispered in my ear making me shiver." Still no selfie , no autograph, or Scream, Well Mrs. Jones. I would say You weren't a fan except for your greeting. So what is a Guy to do to get your attention. We will find out won't we, Till I see you again my Lady." I closed the door behind him as he left. Then promptly passed out right therein front of the door. Life just got interesting !

Chapter 2

Career Change Wow!

[Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the waves, Hay YA by OutKast, High hopes By Panic at the disco.]

I woke the next morning to sunshine and birdsong. It must be a sign I am on the right track. So Coffee a Shower and breakfast burrito's at McDonald's, and I'm out in London . I'm Publisher hunting. I had a call from the Hospital about my per-opp appointment for surgery. That is in a few day's. So Little nervous about that . As I walk into my first office building then I Stop in the lobby when my phone rings.

It was a local # so I answered . It was a Guy named Luke Parsons He is a free lance publisher that heard about my stories. I was shocked how did he hear about me. He asked if we could meet at his office at 3pm. I agreed,he gave me the address and hung up. I went in to the build kinda stoked . I figure I try all my options. So through out the day I went to many publishing companies all saying the same which pissed me off to no end. But did I show it NO. Just because I'm American they won't even Look at them. I couldn't even eat . I grabbed a Juice @ a convenience store, then went back to my hotel to change. I needed time to find this place for my 3:00 meeting with Mr. parsons and I want to make a good impression since I was rejected so many other times today.

So I decided to call a Uber because I felt I had been walking all day and needed a small break . When we Pulled up to the Building and guess who was standing there with a smart ass smile on his face! Yup! Tom was opening my door after paying the driver , which I didn't expect. He grabs My hand and kisses my palm. Honestly why is a guy like him even paying me any attention . I'm not the tiny,skinny little thing that he is normally with and I don't act or sing. It's frustrating and exhilarating at the same time. GOD HELP ME!!! I told my self.

I asked Tom what he was doing here and then everything clicked. He told Mr. Parson's about me. When I asked how he knew Mr. Parsons. Tom told me that Luke was a Publicist by trade but had a small publishing company on the side as a hobby. So not letting go of my hand Thomas took me inside to meet Luke. Tom stayed in the waiting room as I went into Luke's office. He didn't have a huge office, but it was still dark and intimidating. The tall blonde man in the gray suit, stood and shook my hand . And I sat in the chair across from his desk. when I was going to speak. But he straight shut mt up with a finger. He started Hounding me about Tom. Ii became Anxious and when that happens I Babble and stutter badly. I spilled everything from my weight to the confrontation @ my hotel. By that point I am crying and Thomas came in and took one look at me and Was about to give Luke the business when Luke stopped him Saying He needed to Gage my character. Do to the fact that Thomas was one of his most prominent Clients. I relaxed cause Tom did. And Luke apologized .

When all was calmed. Tom pulled a chair next to me. He told me to go ahead and give Luke my flash drive with my book copies on it . All while holding my hand and rubbing my back . I have to admit I had a small smile on my face cause I was feeling @ peace with TWH sitting and pampering me. It was nice. Mr. Parsons plugged my flash drive into his desk top. While telling me to call him Luke. He said regardless if he likes mysteries or not He is probably gonna see a lot of me because he was Tom's Publicist. I am not giving any weight to that remark not yet .AHAHAH!!!! As Luke was reading Tommy and I were talking and Honestly I needed to get a lot of my frustration's off my chest .Unfortunately Thomas was my victim , willing I might add considering he was grinning the whole time.

Once I was done giving the 3rd degree to Tommy. He squeezed my hand then answered." Well Shannon. I have been in this business for a while now and out of all my so called fans. I never had one Ignore me! They'll always wanted something from me. A picture, to Kneel,autograph,selfie,hug,any attention I would give they sucked it from me. But when you ran into me at the airport. The funko toy's spilling from your bag told me your were a fan and I saw your face you recognized me, I heard you breath hitch. Yet you said sorry and left. No selfie, No nothing. It intrigued me so much I had Luke here who was with me that day check you out using the stub and book with your name and address in America in it . Which also gave me more proof you were a fan." as he continues to explain I look at him in awe he has no clue how bad I want to fan girl and ask for all those things but my heart may be with him but my mind is on what Luke is doing because Luke has my future in his hands.

Back to Tom's explanation." Shannon I came to your room Just to give a fan a gift. On my way to my Mother's for lunch. I ended up canceling lunch when you froze on me. Then I was so humbled by your nervousness. Dearling ." He says as he caresses my face ,raising Luke's eyebrows he is reading. Tom finally finishes with," As I was leaving your room I knew I had to know you more and since you were Looking for someone to help you get your stories read I talked to Luke about it and he was happy to get a new client especially one not for the public business but for His hobby. Now that I explained everything Love turn and listen to Luke I think he has something to say."

That caught my attention. I shook off the haze from listening to Tom . Turned my head to see a smiling almost ecstatic Luke. Looking at us. Then retold me he loved my stories. He said the fan-fix he even might know someone who might want to turn it into a play with the right circumstances. The other 2 he wanted to know if this is a story arc Like the old Harry Potter Series going on cause he could make it happen if there was gonna be more. He also asked about the Illustration in the stories.

I answered him promptly,about Luca and his daydreams and how they relate to my son who is Autistic and who also did the pictures for my stories Neither of them realized I was a mother . Which took both by surprise. Luke asked if I was married . OMG ! Would I have let Tom flirt with me if I was. Yes ! I would have, But I told Luke the truth I have been separated and divorced. For many years. And my Son is almost 30. that floored Tom ! I guess he thought is was younger Ha! Wait till he finds out I'm 2 years older than him. Dang straight! Cougar Power !

Now I get excited when Luke pulls a rather large group of paper's out of his desk. And writes on them. The put's them in front of me and explains. "Now Shannon can I call you that . Of course I can!" I just nod quietly." Well Shannon this is a contact for exclusivity. So anything you write is published through our Publishing company. So any fan based Fiction, Lucas stories all of it Go through us. Do you understand that Shannon?" I nod in understanding. He continues, "I am going to pay you up front for the 3 stories you have now plus signing bonus. Although only 2 are guaranteed to hit book shelves very Quickly.

Also I am Also going out of my way and despite conflict of interest with Tom I going to take you on to navigate your public appearance as well. You will need that for book signing's and such. I will also make sure Lucas gets paid for all his pictures and any future picture's for your book's. Now one last thing that may help ease your mind a bit Shannon. Tom Has nothing to do with this contract or the merit of your stories. It was just a lucky shot for both of us that He was the one you ran into in the Airport and that he knew what Me and a few friends do in our spare time. Helping Storytellers get their stories read when no one else would is what we at Parsonage publishing are here to do most the commissions I'll receive for your book go to the Literacy foundation here in the U.K. Which is 5% but I also am taking10% for my Public work. But you won't even need to worry Shannon. I'm prepared to make you a very Popular and rich woman."

Honestly I am froze I did not think Lucas's and My stories would be this popular. Especially on there own merit. I'm speechless! Until Thomas starts shaking me to get my attention. I Turn, Tom point's to Luke. I turn and Luke asks? " Shannon Darling did you get all of it or do I need to repeat any of it?" I tell Luke as I take a look at the contraction front of me. Tom still holding my hand and I am thankful for the support. I got it surprisingly knew what the whole Author gig entails so to have Luke help me with both sides of that is a life saver, but I still have one or two questions.

" OK Luke ! I got most of it I am just got a couple questions? 1st Are you sure about the Public side I can find another if it helps your piece of mind. Also Are you sure my little stories are gonna get that popular and Last if so who has a pen. To my shock and tears. He answered all my question reassuring me of his sincerity and excitement .He also gave me a pen to sign my first almost million $Contract. I was so giddy . Luke asked for my main info like email ,cell, direct deposit > I just realized I'm not a disabled parent anymore. I am A writer/Author ,gainfully employed . I am crying Laughing and falling off my chair taking Tom with me.

While Luke gets me copy of my contract I had just signed . Tom Kisses my palm then he was kissing the my forehead. Then He shocks me by looking me straight in the eyes , Blue on Blue then asking out to Dinner tonight. WAS THIS A DATE!!!!!!????????????????

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crowdvscritic · 3 years

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round up // JANUARY 21

New year, not-so-new Crowd vs. Critic! It’s another batch of films, TV, music, and reads that were new to me this month and think you would enjoy, too. As we cozy up inside for the winter, nothing warms you up like a good piece of pop culture.

January Crowd-Pleasers

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

Does this sequel reach the heights of 2017’s Wonder Woman? No, but I wish more superhero movies were like this one. I explain why at ZekeFilm. Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 8/10

21 Bridges (2019)

A solid action crime thriller with a solid Chadwick Boseman at the center. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

The Lethal Weapon Series (1987-98)

I watched the first Lethal Weapon in 2017 for ZekeFilm, but now I’ve a decade’s pleasure of progressively over-the-top action sequences and progressively more absurd ways to destroy Roger Murtaugh’s (Danny Glover) house. The Murtaugh/Riggs bromance holds this progressively sillier series together, and an supporting cast of charismatic actors (Jet Li, Darlene Love, Chris Rock, Rene Russo) are game for whatever comes their way. Joe Pesci is the true MVP. Series Crowd: 9/10 // Series Critic: 7/10

The High Note (2020)

Tracee Ellis Ross’s Grace Davis is a diva in every sense of the word. A high-strung and highly successful singer, she’s also highly demanding of her assistant Maggie (Dakota Johnson), who wants to step out of her shadow and become a music producer. This rom-com-adjacent flick is one of the most fun escapes I’ve had from a 2020 movie, and it’s perfect for a girls’ night in. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

Double Feature—Rom-Coms With a Magical Twist: Just My Luck (2006) + When In Rome (2010)

Disclaimer: These movies are not good. In fact, they’re junk, but they’re my kind of junk. In Just My Luck (Crowd: 7.5/10 // Critic: 6/10), Lindsay Lohan loses her life-long lucky streak when she kisses schlimazel Chris Pine. And When in Rome (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 6/10), Kristen Bell attracts unwanted admirers (Will Arnett, Danny DeVito, Josh Duhamel, Jon Heder, and real-life future husband Dax Shepard) after she steals their coins from a wishing fountain. To their credit, both of these movies know they’re silly, which means you have permission to just sit back and laugh along with (or, honestly, at) them.

WandaVision (2021)

I sometimes fear for the world of entertainment when I think of how much intellectual property Disney has gobbled up, but WandaVision is evidence the company is a benevolent dictator at least for now. This odd delight is a send up and a tribute to sitcoms like I Love Lucy, I Dream of Jeannie, and The Brady Bunch, and Paul Bettany and Elizabeth Olsen are so charming and weird I don’t need whatever mysterious sub-plot they’re building.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

If you want to make the most of watching Robin Hood: Men in Tights, first watch Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991), an action flick I saw last February and didn’t include in my monthly Round Up. This Mel Brooks spoof is a direct response that self-serious Kevin Costner adventure, even down to copying its costumes. While I wish I could find a Mel Brooks comedy with any substantial female character (in every movie I’ve seen so far, the joke is either, “She’s got a great rack!” or “Wow, she’s an uggo!”), I still couldn’t stop laughing at this 104-minute version of the Robin Hood scene in Shrek. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

Aliens (1986)

Peak ‘80s action. Peak alien grossness. Peak girl boss Sigourney Weaver. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/.510

Big (1988)

After talking about Laverne & Shirley with Kyla on SO IT’S A SHOW?, I had to check out Penny Marshall’s classic. While a few moments haven’t aged so well, its heart is sweet and the script is hilarious. And that Tom Hanks? I think he’s going places. Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 8/10

Unstoppable (2010)

I’ve laughed at SNL’s spoof of this movie for a decade, so it’s about time I got around to enjoying this action thriller very loosely based on the true story of a train that got away from its conductor. Denzel Washington (“You’re too old!”) and Chris Pine (“You’re too young!”) are our heroes in this over-the-top ridiculousness, and their chemistry is so extra it makes me hope they team up for another movie again. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10

January Critic Picks

Double Feature—‘90s Space Adventures: Apollo 13 (1995) + Contact (1997)

I have no desire to join Tom Cruise as he films in space, but I know I’ll be pumped to watch whatever he makes because I love sci-fi and space adventures. Apollo 13 (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10) tells the story of an almost-disastrous NASA mission in the ‘60s, and it taps into our hope for the human spirit to overcome obstacles. Contact (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10) surmises what might happen if we received communication from extraterrestrial life, and it taps into our struggle to reconcile faith and science.

McCartney III by Paul McCartney (2020)

I spent January catching up on the albums on Best of 2020 lists, and the one I listened to for hours and hours was Paul McCartney’s latest solo album. Catchy, thoughtful, and musically surprising, it ranges from pop to rock to folk in 45 minutes and still feels like it’s over too soon. Like Tom Hanks, this Paul McCartney guy is going places!

The Thin Man Series (1934-47)

Like Lethal Weapon, I watched the first installment of The Thin Man awhile back, and Kyla and I even covered the series on our podcast. But thanks to a full series marathon on TCM earlier this month, I’ve now laughed through all five. When you talk about great chemistry, you’ve got to talk about William Powell and Myrna Loy, who make Nick and Nora’s marriage feel lived in and romantic as they solve crimes together. Witty, suspenseful, and jaunty, this series is still sexy cool over 80 years later. (Also, Asta? Still one of the cutest dogs in cinema.) Series Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

The King and I (1956)

Here’s your regularly scheduled reminder Hollywood works differently now, and many casting decisions of the ‘50s wouldn’t fly today. What has aged well in this film: The Rodgers and Hammerstein music and the sumptuous costumes and set design. I love extravagant musicals of yesteryear—perhaps it’s time for Hollywood to revisit and remake The King and I for modern audiences?

youtube

Inauguration Day

In a year with no major televised events with celebrities in a room together, Inauguration Day felt like the most exciting cultural event in ages. We’ve been missing major fashion, but then we got Lady Gaga! We’ve been missing live performances, but then we got Amanda Gorman! And I got a lot of tears during that poem—not just me, right?

Good Reads

Writing that made me think and smile this month:

Steven Soderbergh’s list of everything he read, watched, and listened to this year, Extension765.com (2020) – An indirect inspiration for these monthly Round Ups!

“My Year of Making Lists,” NewYorker.com (2020) – I made a lot of lists in 2020, so I feel this author’s #mood

“Betty White Says She Will Spend Her 99th Birthday Feeding Two Ducks Who Visit Her ‘Every Day,’“ CBSNews.com (2021) - “Betty is a treasure,” I say as I watch The Proposal for the 99th time

“A Sculpture’s Unusual Journey to SLAM [St. Louis Art Museum],” SLAM.org (2020) – With a casual mention of an attraction I never knew about in St. Louis

“The Culture Is Ailing. It’s Time for a Dr. Fauci for the Arts.” WashingtonPost.com (2020) – An idea that occurred to me a few months ago: Why don’t we have an Arts Cabinet?

“The Arts Are in Crisis. Here’s How Biden Can Help.” NYTimes.com (2021) – Partly in response to that Washington Post piece, a historical look at how artists have made it through difficult times in the past and how we can revive artists’ livelihoods mid- and post-pandemic

“The Right’s Message to Silicon Valley: 'Free Speech for Me, But Not for Thee,'” TIME.com (2021) – A more thoughtful and less reactionary take on a volatile moment in the history of modern technology

“'It Makes Me Sick With Grief': Trump's Presidency Divided Families. What Happens to Them Now?” TIME.com (2021) – A study on how politics has done damage to family dynamics in America

“Help, the Only Cinema I Can Handle Is Zac Efron Prancing Angrily in High School Musical 2,” Vulture.com (2021) - In a lot of ways, same

“50 Easy Things To Do When You are Anxious,” ShopTwentySeven.com (2021) – I especially endorse coloring, puzzling, and watching happy movies!

Double Feature—Miss Marple Mysteries: Murder at the Gallop (1963) + Murder Ahoy (1964)

Remember when I was all like, “Watch these Agatha Christie movies so you’re not sad Death on the Nile is delayed”? Remember when I said I was just a few movies away from becoming an Agatha Christie junkie? Well, I think I’m there because I can’t stop with the murder mysteries! Margaret Rutherford is a treasure whether she’s solving a murder at a horse ranch or on a boat, and a cast of colorful supporting characters (including Rutherford’s husband) makes these breezy instead of heavy. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10

8½ (1963)

File this with 2001: A Space Odyssey—I don’t know if I really understood this film, but I think I liked it? Federico Fellini’s surrealist, male gaze-y drama blurs the lines between reality and imagination, love and dysfunction, and the past and maybe some future that involves clowns? What resonated with me was the story of a director with creative block, wondering if he’s already peaked and if he’ll create anything worthwhile again. Crowd: 6/10 // Critic: 9/10

Sense and Sensibility: The Screenplay and Diaries by Emma Thompson (1995)

Sense and Sensibility is not just one of my favorite Jane Austen adaptations—it’s one of my all-time favorite films. One of the co-hosts of one of my favorite podcasts has raved many-a-time about Emma Thompson’s journals from the making of film, so it was only a matter of time before I read them myself. Witty, informative, and all-around lovely, Thompson’s journals are an excellent insight into the filmmaking process and how novels are adapted.

Also in January…

I reviewed the new-ish documentary Flannery for ZekeFilm, which is all about the writer Flannery O’Connor and feels a little like going back to high school English class.

In addition to the Lethal Weapon and Thin Man series, I rewatched all of the X-Men series this month. You can see everything I am watching on Letterboxd, including favorites I love returning to (i.e. X-Men: Days of Future Past) and the movies I try that don’t make my monthly recommendations (i.e. The Wolverine).

Photo credits: Paul McCartney, Zac Efron, Sense & Sensibility. All others IMDb.com.

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cordoniasmost · 5 years

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The Best Accident

NOTE: This is my first ever fic! I was terrified to write it but just sat down and let the words flow. This story is in preparation for TRH. I’m super excited for its release and couldn’t help imagining where it might go. This is my take on what happens between Maxwell and MC. Reblog if you like it! :)

NSFW

Summary: Riley & Maxwell return from their honeymoon and try to settle into their new normal as a married couple.

Chapter 1 - Homecoming

Maxwell:

After the honeymoon, Maxwell had insisted that they return back to the Beaumont estate because Bertrand needed help with a couple of matters and had actually requested Maxwell be the one to help him. In fact, Maxwell was so surprised, he hurried Riley along so that he could be there for his big brother.

"C'mon, Riley. I know it's early but Bertrand actually asked me to help him with a couple of meetings. Me. It's my time to shine!"

Riley grumbled about needing some coffee from her seat next to him in the limo and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I get it, Maxwell. It makes sense that you'd want to rush to his side, but couldn't I have gotten a couple more hours of sleep first? This is an ungodly hour. "

"You're cute when you're cranky." He smiled down at her, kissing the top of her head.

They had had an amazing honeymoon filled with fun adventures during the day and hot nights exploring each other as husband and wife. He had never been happier with his life than in this minute.

The fact that his brother had called on him to step in while he takes some time to spend planning his wedding just made him feel even better about things.

A short drive later, the limo pulled up in front of the Beaumont estate.

This stately manor had always been Maxwell's home until he married Riley and became the Duke of Valtoria. This place would probably always be a second home to him, and it was important to him to continue to support his brother here in any way that he could. After all, Bertrand was always stressed out and if he could take some of that stress off of his shoulders, he wanted to do it.

Maxwell stepped out of the limo onto the smooth pavement of the driveway, holding out his hand to help Riley out of the car. As soon as she stepped out, he laced his fingers with hers and they began walking into the estate.

"Are you ready to get back to regular life after our honeymoon?" she asked him.

"You know I would become the master of sculpting sand sea monsters with you if I could, but Bertrand needs me. Besides, we've got the people of Valtoria to think about now, too."

"Maxwell Beaumont, look at you being all responsible. Married looks good on you," she teased.

"I know, I know. But I'm trying to be the husband you deserve and you're totally right, married does look good on me. Now, let's go see Bertrand real quick, then we can check in on my peacocks."

Right before they stepped into the foyer, Maxwell reached down and scooped Riley up into his arms. She squealed delightedly. "Maxwell! What are you doing?" she asked.

"Well, since this is our second home, and the first home we've been to since our honeymoon, I'm carrying you across the threshold, wifey. Gotta keep up with tradition.

Once they arrived inside, he gently dropped her down and bent down to place a quick but heated kiss on her lips.

"Mmm, Maxwell. I think you should hurry up with your meetings. I'm going to need a lot more of that ASAP" she said with a sigh.

"Right, let's go set our bags down in the room and then I'll go check in with Bertrand. Why don't you try and nap so we can have some fun this afternoon?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her. "If you know what I mean..."

"Maxwell, I always know what you mean," she laughed. "That sounds like a great idea. Come wake me up when you're done." She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a gentle kiss. Then she plopped down on the bed, yawning.

He left the room, closing the door behind him on his way to search out his brother. He was anxious to get back to his wife. He wanted nothing more than to take off all her clothes, bury himself in her, and then hold her as she napped.

At this moment, though, his brother needed him to step up once again. He had been hesitant to step up during the Unity Tour before their wedding because he was afraid he'd just make everything worse. But Riley had been there with him, encouraging him along the way, and he had actually made a difference for both his brother and House Beaumont.

Maxwell was ready to step up again and help out so his brother could enjoy this time with his new growing family.

He walked down the hall and before long found himself in front of the ornately carved wooden door leading into the study. He knocked briskly on the door. "Bertrand? Your savior is here!"

"Come in, Maxwell." He heard Bertrand call.

He opened the door and made his way into the rich study. The smell of dusty books and polished wood greeted him as he made his way inside. He plopped down on one of the leather chairs in front of Bertrand's desk.

"So, how's it going? Did you miss me? You couldn't have gotten much done without my wit and charm around to keep everything running smoothly," Maxwell teased.

Bertrand just gave him an even, stern glare from across the desk.

"Ahem... So, what's on the agenda today?" Maxwell asked.

"King Liam has asked us to handle the formation of an educational council to ensure that Cordonia's future citizens are receiving a well-rounded education in their primary school days so they can excel as productive citizens of Cordonia's future. It's part of his plan to invest in creating a stronger Cordonia."

"Okay." Maxwell was listening intently.

"As you know, Savannah and I are planning the wedding and Bartie has just begin walking, which means his lessons on fork etiquette must take place more frequently than ever before. I'm going to need you to take the meeting with the newly appointed council members and help them lay the groundwork for the council. I know this is a big task for you to take on. Do you think you're up for it?"

Maxwell thought for a moment, contemplating whether this was something he could actually pull off.

"It'll be fine, Bertrand. I've got this," he finally said.

...

Several hours later, Maxwell was finishing up his meeting, anxious to get back to his wife. He was starting to think this wasn't a great idea. He definitely wasn't cut out for spending long days in meetings over policy. He needed to get outside and stretch his legs.

He decided a picnic with Riley on the grounds was exactly what he needed right now, so before he headed back to their room he stopped by the kitchen to grab some food.

"Hey, Julian!" he greeted their cook.

"Maxwell! This place hasn't been the same without your shenanigans. How was your honeymoon?" Julian asked him warmly.

"Oh, you know, just the most amazing time ever! I got to spend every day trying new things like exploring haunted caves, diving for pirate treasure, and having dance parties with the most beautiful woman in the world. Honestly, it was hard to come back," he replied.

"Oh, I can imagine that courtly politics wasn't high on your list of reasons to be excited to be back here. But, either way I'm happy to see you, my friend," Julian said.

"I'm glad to see you, too, buddy. Hey, do you think you could do me a huge favor and pack up a picnic lunch for Riley and me? I want to surprise her and it's gotta be amazing," Maxwell asked.

"Of course, anything for Maxwell Beaumont," Julian teased. He began quickly making his way around the kitchen, wrapping food up and placing it in a picnic basket for them. Lastly, he packed up the silverware and some sparkling water and handed the basket to Maxwell.

"Have fun!" Julian said with a smile.

"Thanks, Julian," Maxwell said over his shoulder as he began walking back to wake Riley up from her nap. He couldn't wait to see her.

Riley:

She felt soft hands sweeping the hair off her face, followed by feathery light kisses along her forehead, cheek, and jawline. She smiled and stretched before opening her eyes to her sexy as hell husband. She couldn't seem to get enough of him.

She leaned up and pulled him down to her, pressing her lips against his. He quickly laid down next to her. She opened her mouth slightly to deepen the kiss and their tongues met again and again. His hand began to run down her chest, caressing her soft breasts gently, then down her stomach, and down to her inner thigh, where he drew slow circles with his fingers in a rhythm all his own. He pressed himself against her, moaning against her mouth.

"Mmm, you know I could do this all day with you but I'm hungry and I've got a surprise. Rain check after lunch?" Maxwell reluctantly pulled away.

Riley pouted. She knew this was her not-so-secret weapon. Maxwell would give her anything she wanted if she gently stuck out her bottom lip and flashed him her big, sad eyes.

"Please?" She whimpered.

"Shit, Riley. You know I can't say no to that face and it's hard enough to say no to amazing sex with you as it is." Maxwell said wearily.

She could see the resolve crumble in his eyes. In an instant, he crashed his lips down on hers, pressing his tongue into her mouth, and taking small breaks while working quickly to remove her shirt. His mouth moved down her jaw to her neck before taking one of her nipples in his mouth and sucking hard.

"Holy fuck, Maxwell!" Riley called out.

She was already writhing around below him, panting and begging him for more.

He sat up quickly to remove his shirt and she yanked off her pants. She laid beneath him in only her underwear, gazing up at him with so much desire in her eyes he almost couldn't take it. She wrapped her legs around his waist and began rolling her hips against his still-clothed manhood. He ripped off her underwear and threw them across the room.

He flipped her over and began kissing down her back before he pulled her up on all fours so that her wetness was pressed against his hard shaft.

"Is this what you want?" Maxwell asked her hungrily, pressing his hardness against her.

"Oh my god, if you don't fuck me right now I'm going to explode!" she moaned, while rocking against his still-clothed shaft. He jumped off the bed, quickly removing his pants and boxer briefs and stopping to grab a condom out of the luggage.

She whimpered from the bed, "What's taking so long? I need you NOW."

He climbed back onto the bed and positioned himself behind her, stopping to slide the condom onto himself. She moaned as he pressed into her, gently at first, until he filled her all the way up.

"Ohhhhh, just like that," she moaned.

He pulled himself almost completely out of her and slammed back in again and again. The pleasure of it was almost too much for her to take. He reached around her to rub delicate circles around her most sensitive spot. She rocked her hips and he could tell she was close by the way she was contracting around his cock. He was close, too.

"Come for me, Riley. Let go and come for me." He coaxed.

"Ohhhh my god, yes, Maxwell. YESSSSSS." She called out incoherent strings of words and syllables as he pumped faster in and out of her. As her walls squeezed him, he couldn't hold on any longer and let go, welcoming his own release.

Both spent, he flopped down onto the bed next to her, both of them trying to catch their breath. He hugged her to his chest and kissed her forehead. "Feel better?" He asked.

"Mmm, so much better." She purred contentedly.

After a few minutes, Maxwell sprung up and asked, "Ready for my surprise now?"

He was bouncing excitedly and his excitement was infectious. Riley couldn't help but to smile and jump up to get dressed. If there was one thing she had to pick that she loved about her husband, besides his sexual skills, it would be the fact he always kept her on her toes.

#choices #choices fan fiction #maxwell beaumont #trr #trr fanfic #choices trh #maxwell x mc

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honnus · 5 years

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Uncharted: A Personal Story

I’ve been debating typing this all out for some time but never found the right medium, figured Tumblr would be the best shout since y’know, my Fakebook is mostly full of sarcastic, narcissistic asswipes haha so here goes...

(Oh no...not another Uncharted post I hear you say, but bear with me)

I freakin’ love the Uncharted game series (If you haven’t guessed!) the locales, the stories, the life or death run-for-your-damn-life set pieces, the gunfights, but mostly the characters. I think what mostly drew me to the character of Nate Drake was exactly what a friend of mine said when trying to debate that Tomb Raider is better; that Drake is just a guy. That’s the allure of his character. He has the one liners, the attitude, but really he’s just a guy. A guy who is constantly in way over his head, out for whatever he can get. We’ll not go into the whole climbing aspect of the games as even a diehard fan like myself knows that those sections are super far fetched haha.

The games all have a kind of historical and mythological element to them, with the exception of the final entry. The first game had us following in the footsteps of Sir Francis Drake while chasing the treasure of El Dorado, Among Thieves had Drake following clues from Marco Polo while searching for Shambhala in Nepal, While Uncharted 3 drew from the archaeology days of T.E. Lawrence and had players in search of Iram of the Pillars deep in the Rub’ al Khali desert. The Final game had Drake globe trotting to find Libertalia; the pirate sanctuary founded by Legendary pirates Henry Avery and Thomas Tew. So in a way, I guess you could say that the Uncharted games are educational too!

It’s not just Drake that’s the main draw to the games though. His mentor; Victor “Sully” Sullivan (voiced to perfection by Richard McGonagle btw!) is your classic grumpy, sleazy, cantankerous old geezer with a heart of platinum! While Elena Fisher - the love interest - is just too perfect. She’s the ying to Drake’s yang and despite playing second fiddle to Drake for the first three games, you always cared about her and more precisely; about her and Drake in a will they? won’t they? that spanned 3 games before they walked off into the sunset together at the end of ‘Drake’s Deception’ (or so we thought...) cue 2016 and along comes ‘A Thief’s End’, *quote* Nathan Drake’s Last Uncharted *unquote* and before the game has even come out there’s rumours flying left, right and centre -

Drake dies...Elena dies...Sully dies!

It was too much to take! Since 2007 we had gotten to know these characters so well, as fans it made us happy to think of them together and now they were making another game (which we definitely wanted!) but Drake’s final adventure just sounded so ominous! (Hell, even the title was ominous)

I'm going to go ahead right about now and say **SPOILERS** even though the game has been out for 3 years but y’know, some people might want to find out shit for themselves...

Thankfully, despite scenes of heartbreak that were beautifully acted with green room, motion capture and special effects, etc. (so lifelike!) the pair survived a pirate island and Nate’s white lies and truly got the happy ending they deserved. The final entry to the Uncharted series even got a little epilogue where you play as their 12 year old daughter (most sites say 11-13 year old, so hey) Cassie, at their perfect, dream beach house and she stumbles upon the keys to her dad’s (usually always) locked wardrobe which contains little treasures he picked up throughout his earlier adventures. The game ends with Nate and Elena heading off on a sailboat full of cold drinks and snacks, with Nathan starting to tell Cassie the story of the first Uncharted game (would bring a tear to a glass eye)

It was really - the perfect ending - these characters that you’d almost grown up with, saying their final goodbye to you. The softie in me pictures Cassie being blown away by all the crazy stories the pair would tell their daughter. Video games nowadays have just as much pull as that Netflix or Amazon show, it’s so easy to get attached to characters that you almost don’t want to let go, yet at the same time you don’t want them to be bled dry until all believability and all the ways you feel that you relate to them have faded and they’re reduced to a few key phrases...

So...what was the point in this post and what was to debate i hear you ask?

back in 2007 when the very first Uncharted was released, I was in a very dark place. I don’t really like talking about my depression and anxiety, not so much for the whole stigma around it but I usually find that once you open that door everybody starts walking on eggshells around you and treating you different. Maybe that’s just the anxiety playing up but I feel like things are different once you’ve told someone. Can’t really explain it well, even as I try to type it...

I didn’t leave the house except to go and come home from work, I found myself alienated from friends, even when they tried to get me to join their uni societies and such I just didn’t want to socialise with anyone at all really. I never told anybody at home how I was feeling as the whole I’ve had a good childhood train of thinking began. That and It’d be insulting to them. I kept to myself with many dark thoughts and didn’t do much at all. Then Uncharted came along. An exciting game with a great story and a confident main character. More and more I found myself coming out my shell the more I played. I guess you could say that I started channelling my inner Nathan Drake and before long my confidence returned and the D&A subsided...for a time...

fast forward 2 years to 2009 and MUCH had changed! I got back in touch with an old school friend from primary that I had lost touch with, had my good friends Stuart and Alan round a lot for dvd/game nights and also a girl had joined our friend group, Jenny. I was confident, outgoing and full of cheer. Not even work bothered me! It was safe to say that Jenny was flavour of the month after we’d gotten a bit closer (nothing ended up coming of it other than friendship. We still talk nowadays but she lives in Australia, married with a son and I'm very happy for her) Was out every week at Karaoke after work and Uncharted 2 rolled around giving us more Drake, Sully and Elena but also introducing the sexy character of Chloe Frazer among other memorable baddies. With this game I was really in a good place and all it did was further my confidence. The more I played these games, the more healthy I was it seemed. Probably sounds a strange thing to say but I guess it’s like art - everybody interprets things different.

Jump forward to November 2011 and Uncharted 3 comes out. Now I'm in a very different place altogether. Positively beaming with confidence (some might say overconfidence...I say to them, shaddap lol) and I have a girlfriend. My first girlfriend in 2 years (who would later become my now fiancée, Hannah) I still make time for my favourite game franchise because I'm in a distance relationship and every week my heart breaks and I cry floods of tears at having to leave my sweet girl to come home for work the next morning. Uncharted’s 3rd outing keeps me grounded, keeps me confident. I swear; Nathan Drake was my role model in young adulthood! Despite the feelings of loneliness I work, I play, I see Hannah, I play, I work, and so on. It doesn't seem as bad when I have something to distract me and that something was Uncharted. The fear that Sully was going to die in this game was very real and in points I was almost in tears. That “more or less” trustworthy old git we’d all come to love, he just couldn't die!

Jump on to 2016 and again different time, different place. Still with Hannah and now engaged, we’re saving up to buy a house. The friend’s dynamic has changed massively. I still see Stuart and Alan but now a blast from the past, Laura, came back into my life. We used to tear into each other in high school (mostly jokingly of course haha) but I always cared about her and when we reconnected we hit it off straight away like no time had passed! now she was getting married (still the best wedding I've been to!) me too - eventually - and we were and still are the best of confidantes to this day. I consider her one of my best friends in the whole world. Unfortunately in 2015 the darkness inside returned with the death of that friend i had gotten back in touch with back in 2009, Steven Borman. The thing is - we had chatted online a lot but in the 6 years we’d been back in touch we never got around to meeting up! Not once. In six years. Either he was working or I was, or I was at Hannah’s or he was at his girl’s...there was always something preventing us from meeting in person and then he died. I didn’t take it well...I have no shame in admitting that I went to a dark place; the darkest place if you catch my drift. It was so hard to process and deal with that there were a few days I didn’t go to work for fear of just exploding and taking my grief out on a member of the public. One of those days I wandered a graveyard and cried (how emo of me, right? haha)

I wouldn't say it passed. It still hurts to think about his loss and all the things that he won’t get to do but it dulled slightly over time. Thankfully a year later and Uncharted 4 was with us. It carried this theme of being bitter-sweet the whole way through (kind of like the end of Toy Story 3 if you know what I mean) and playing out that last, and somewhat more mature, outing though with its themes of love, loss, family and sacrifice, it really helped me find some perspective. I think it’s rare for a video game to do that, even in this day and age with such stories as Last of Us and Red Dead Redemption 2...

Had to throw in a GiF of Cassie (How adorbs is she) but I digress.

Sounds kind of weird to say that Uncharted, what some people see as just another duck and cover, 3rd person shooter, action/adventure game series, I see as my rock and something that has got me through many, many hard times! I can honestly say I think it will stay with me forever. It’s already encouraged and brought out in me the love of world travel and boosted my confidence in so many ways, I don’t even know what else to say other than this - as my sort of closing statement -

if you get pleasure from something, no matter the source, never be ashamed of it, never feel like you have to hide it. If something helps you then keep it close to your heart. For me, that is Uncharted. It has helped me through feelings of loneliness, isolation, depression and anxiety, through personal loss and the darkest of feelings, and though everything else in between.

Nathan Drake and his one liners, Sully’s sombre tones, Elena’s adorableness, Chloe’s...derrière (not even sorry...lol) and even Sam’s cynicism (Nate’s older brother, introduced in the last game) it’s kind of like having/being in a circle of friends that you always knew you could count on if that makes sense

Uncharted was always there for me and I hope someday, when I have kids, I can introduce them to the adventures of Drake and co. too.

Sic Parvis Magna, everybody! Sic Parvis Magna

(Greatness from small beginnings)

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douxreviews · 5 years

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American Gods - ‘The Beguiling Man’ Review

"Their whole life they’ve been hearing a story about who you are. And you’re the enemy in that story."

In episode two of its second season, American Gods finds a reason to tell us the tragic story of Shadow's past. And it's... basically one of the less interesting episodes of Daredevil.

That's disappointing.

To be more specific, it's disappointing that they felt the need to devote half an episode to telling us the tragic story of Shadow's teenage years, because the story they tell here is essentially the same 'outsider teen moves to a new town and encounters local bullies' story that we've seen a thousand times before. It's The Karate Kid, in which the role of Mr. Miyagi is played by maternal cancer.

The underlying problem here is that there is just no reason for them to be telling this story to us in the first place, either in the metanarrative or the narrative sense. Mr. Town, played by the always welcome Dean Winters, has Shadow rigged up to a big ominous machine, and mentions Shadow's mom once. That's it. That's all the narrative justification we get for why we're being told this story at this time. Somehow that one mention of his mother inspires him to remember how his mom brought him back from France to live in Brooklyn, and how he got beat up that one time, she started dying of cancer, he got so upset about that that he went right out and beat up the guys that attacked him earlier, then she died and that was that.

And I hate to say it, but just reading that last paragraph gives you pretty much the same experience as watching it play out over twenty odd minutes of this episode's runtime. Which is too bad, because it's not like there isn't a lot of good stuff just waiting to be explored here. Olunike Adeliyi, playing Shadow's Mom – and how telling is it that she never gets identified as more than that – is actually really good when her dialogue stops being a stream of character information and 'deep meditations on the human soul.' Watch the moment when she breaks from doing that to tell Shadow that she's going to stop for drinks with somebody named Jerry, and you witness a revelation. In that moment, she goes from being a mouthpiece for things the scripts wants to have said out loud and becomes an actual, interesting person. And I want to know more about that person, because she honestly sparkled at that moment and you could see why Shadow loved her. But we don't get to see more than a moment or two of that, because the script wants to make sure that we know that she's read Siddhartha.

It feels like a case of a screen writer not trusting the audience to understand the subtext, and this show is above that sort of thing.

Similarly, Shadow is mugged, he gets his CD player back and runs for it. And the Brooklyn cops see a black kid running with a portable CD player and arrest him, either instead of or along with his attempted muggers, it's not entirely clear. That's a huge moment that is way, way too true about America still today, but it gets completely thrown away because Shadow's Mom just wants to talk more about how much light is in him. Honestly, I wish that they'd either explored the more interesting stuff that gets sidelined here, or just told us through dialogue that Shadow's Mom had died of cancer and left it at that, because the story that they chose to tell here just ultimately didn't feel like it had anything in particular to say. I feel like I should add though that Gabriel Darku did a good job with the material he was given, and was believable as a young Shadow Moon.

OK, enough about that, because there's a whole other half to this episode and that's where all the good stuff really was.

When we left our heroes, the restaurant had been shot to Hell, Zorya Vechernyaya was dead, and Shadow had been spirited off into the night via helicopter. Here the show seems to run into a bit of a problem with not knowing what to do with all of the characters currently in play. They deal with the situation by generally having them all disperse in pairs on separate missions, which more or less works. Ifrit the Jinn and Salim ride off to the corn palace to fetch Odin's spear, not to be seen again this week. One can only assume that we'll catch up with them later, and how absolutely adorable was Salim, sitting in the sidecar and beaming at being allowed to come along. You two drive safe, we'll see you, presumably, later in the season. Probably right at the end, I would guess.

Wednesday and Mr. Nancy head off to Cairo, Illinois, although they don't get there this week, and I honestly struggled to remember where they were going every time the action cut back to them. They were basically in a holding pattern while other events got into their proper placement for what's going to happen in Cairo. But damn if it wasn't an enjoyable holding pattern to watch. I would tune in weekly for the road trip adventures of Wednesday and Nancy, even if nothing ever happened besides the two of them bantering. The entire exchange about the bucket of fried chicken, which I will not spoil here if you haven't watched it, was better than 95% of broadcast television.

Shadow, we see, has been hooked up to the previously mentioned big ominous machine, which doesn't actually appear to do anything except hold Ricky Whittle up in a sexy and dramatic way, but I suppose that's a noble enough goal. It would be nice if we ever got any clear indication of what exactly Mr. Town wanted out of the situation. Sometimes it seemed like he was trying to convince Shadow to switch sides and join the new gods, sometimes it seemed like he was trying to get information, and sometimes it seemed like he was simply torturing him for no particular reason. Unfortunately, we're not likely to ever get an explanation, since he appears to be dead either just before or immediately after the end of the episode. Ah, well.

But the real MVP, and the only real reason to ever watch this episode again, is the continuing adventures and burgeoning friendship of Laura Moon and Mad Sweeney. Pablo Schreiber and Emily Browning have great chemistry together, and both excel at playing broken, friendless assholes who make a connection with one another despite both of them trying as hard as they can not to do so. When Sweeney says, 'Is that how you ask for a favor,' you can tell by the look on his face that he'd pretty much die to help Laura and this point, and he'd definitely die before he'd ever admit it. Everything they do together is wonderful and complicated and they're by far the best thing the show has going on that didn't come from the book.

Quotes:

Wednesday: "Mama-Ji, you hear the battle cries. May I count on your blades?" Mama-Ji: "You brought the fight to my doorstep. I have no choice but to resume the lopping of heads, drinking of blood, and liberating of souls. That is, if I can swap my weekend shift with Arjun."

Sweeney: "…And God didn’t f**k up your life. You did a great job of that all by yourself." Laura: "Well, it was my life to f**k up." Sweeney: "Indeed it was. And you f**ked the shit out of it, didn’t ya?"

Bulquis: "Love and war may sit on opposite sides of a coin, but only so they may never meet."

Sweeney: "Last week you could have lifted an entire f**kin’ elephant. Two f**kin' elephants if my nuts are the judge."

Laura: "What do you usually drive, horse and buggy?" Sweeney: "Says the corpse who flipped an ice cream truck."

Bits and Pieces:

-- Apparently Bilquis was supposed to talk the old gods out of joining Wednesday, but didn't try that hard.

-- They showed us that Shadow was on a train early on, then wasted a lot of time having us watch Laura work that exact same information out. That's sloppy plotting.

-- I can only assume that Ricky Whittle was excruciatingly uncomfortable filming this week.

-- What is up with the restaurant owners and staff? They just got shot up and people died, and yet there are no cops on the scene, and the restaurant is somehow still serving pancakes for Sweeney.

-- Technical Boy's search for Media got a little further this week. Going to Times Square was a clever idea to find her what with all the screens. The show is still playing coy on revealing Gillian Anderson's replacement as New Media, though. All in all, that changeover has been very well handled. Looks like we get the reveal of New Media next week. Let's see if they stick the landing.

-- There's no way they could have known this in advance, but it was so very nice to have a respectful and peaceful representation of Islam this week.

-- What does Ifrit think of Salim's prayers and faith? I'd be interested to know.

-- Ricky Whittle is 37, and Young Shadow appeared to be about 17 or thereabouts. That would imply that the Brooklyn segments were taking place around 1999. I really dislike using the World Trade Center as a visual signifier for 'in the past,' by the way. It's a personal thing.

-- We were clumsily shown this week that Shadow doesn't know who his father is and his mother won't tell him. We pretty much all know where that's going, even if they had been remotely subtle about it. Which they were not.

-- Wednesday's eulogy for Betty the car, as he waits for Shadow's train to plow into her on the railroad tracks, is a thing of strange beauty and inexplicable dignity.

-- Seriously though, you need to stand a lot further away than that if a train is about to hit a car. I know this from experience.

-- Sweeney takes Laura through something he refers to as 'The Hoard' to get catch up with Shadow. I'm assuming that that's 'hoard' as in a big collection of treasure. They don't appear to have passed through James McAvoy.

I really hate to say this sort of thing, but the show just hasn't felt the same without Fuller and Green. The strange ambient noise and slow motion shots of fluid in motion are pretty much all gone, the storytelling is significantly more linear, and I really think the show is weaker for the change. But, of course, we're only two episodes in. I really shouldn't judge too much yet.

Two out of four buckets of chicken. Almost entirely due to Laura and Sweeney. Just fastforward to their parts, and assume everything else works out all right.

Mikey Heinrich is, among other things, a freelance writer, volunteer firefighter, and roughly 78% water.

#American Gods #Shadow Moon #Mr Wednesday #Laura Moon #Mad Sweeney #American Gods Reviews #Doux Reviews #TV Reviews

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actuallyvady · 5 years

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Cross-posting my long-ass trip post from fb

Finally took the time to write out my thoughts on the concert. They're... mostly coherent. Long, so under the cut.

It's really hard to articulate what this weekend meant to me; my feelings are many and varied and some of them so deep that I'm not sure I can put words to them.

I'll start with the easy ones. Traveling is neat, flying alone is wonderful, and I want to go more places and do more things. Not sure I'm ready to go on a trip all by myself but... I'm definitely not going to go another four years without going anywhere.

We stayed in a house, made meals instead of eating out. I got to sit on the porch and have breakfast and coffee. It was wonderful. And I liked being the early riser-- and getting to share a quiet morning with the other early riser. I am not a super social person, I need quiet time amidst adventures, so it worked out really well for me that some of the group slept later, giving me those early mornings.

I had money to spend on merch and other things. Less than I had planned on-- damn automatic payments and my habit of forgetting them-- but still a reasonable amount. I got all the things I wanted and I don't feel bad about the amount I spent... though if i add up how much the trip cost it's a little sobering. But it was really nice to not feel like I had to *worry* about the cost.

Fabric shopping in the garment district is a wonderful, dangerous thing that I want to do more of but should probably be very careful about budgeting for if (when) I do. It is seriously magical. So many things, so much inspiration.

Now for the things which are harder to articulate...

I want to design and make more things. I've been moving towards enjoying original designs for a while; the reception my Things got this weekend was deeply gratifying, and both that and the fabric shopping left me super hyped to do it more. I'm not sure what that looks like, but... fashion design may become a goal.

The ARMY is a lot. To be honest I didn't really know what to expect; I'm new to this fandom and I don't go to concerts much, but I've heard a lot about the ARMY, both good and bad. But! They were wonderful, in every encounter I had with other fans. So sweet, so giving, so creative, so supportive. So excited to share their love with others. Did the screaming make me very glad for my earplugs? Yes. But mostly I loved their enthusiasm. I loved how many people I saw giving away things they had made or put together, I loved the fans we met who were selling pins, I loved the wide variety of fashion for the concerts, I just... loved all of it.

Kudos to the Rose Bowl for their organization of things all weekend. That could have been a HUGE mess but they were really quite well prepared, and I'm grateful for that. Most every staff member we talked to was cheerful and helpful. Very few seemed annoyed by the whole thing and honestly, I'm impressed and a little bit shocked by that, given, well, ARMY.

The concert... that's the hardest bit to put into words. It was... so much more than seeing a band perform music I like.

Given the chance, I would do exactly this again; seeing the concert from far away the first night I think gave me more context for seeing it the second night. Both nights were amazing, and I'm glad I did both, in the order that I did.

From the club level was surreal. It's a huge stadium but somehow the stage doesn't seem that far away, and watching them (rather than the screens showing close ups) I was struck by the thought that they were real people. Just... seven guys, singing and dancing on a stage I could imagine being on myself. For all that we were super far away there was this strange sense of intimacy, for me.

Also when I turned on my ARMY bomb and it started doing the Thing along with the music videos I was giddy as a child. It's NEAT and I am not ashamed of how cool I found it. There may be footage of this, I'm not sure. But then to see the whole stadium filled with them, to see the light show they created... it's very, VERY cool. It really supports the way the guys talk about how the ARMY is connected to them? As a fan, you are literally part of what makes the show spectacular, and that is so cool on, like, a symbolic level.

Sound check was. Um. I was like ten feet away from them? And they all just looked like they were having so much fun. They really do love their fans and love what they do and it's so wonderful to see that joy shine through. Also Jimin is a cocky little shit? Not complaining, dude just had this smug "I know you think I'm sexy so here, enjoy the view" air the entire time he was near us for soundcheck and honestly I loved it. Not as much as I loved J-Hope's pure, unbridled excitement about everything, but it did amuse me.

The show the second night... I am a lot more emotional about it than I thought I would be. It's a weird combination of intimate and larger than life, surrounded by the screaming fans and the confetti and the music so loud you feel it in your bones but able to see the expressions on their faces. I found myself often watching the ones who weren't being featured at the time- in part because they tended to be toward the front of the forward stage when they were the featured one and we were towards the back of it, but also because it was fun to watch the way they interacted with fans when they had a bit more freedom to do so.

This concert was for us. I mean, that's a given, you perform for the fans, but. It felt like they were there to give us a gift, in thanks for supporting them. Every moment they were on stage they presented to the fans like an offering, not of worship but one made out of gratitude. Here, ARMY. We made this for you. We hope you like it. Please share this experience with us. Join us tonight, have fun with us, cry with us.

At least, that was how it felt to me. IDK.

And they treated the screaming adoration of the fans not as their due but as a treasured gift, something they cherished. They seemed overwhelmed by it-- the fact that Jimin literally broke down and cried night two really hit that point home. It's easy for them to say they are blown away but these guys really, genuinely were. I will never forget Namjoon's face as he tried not to cry at the overwhelming screaming for him the second night.

They were all so very real, even in such an unreal setting. That's what I will remember most: how genuine the whole thing felt. I will remember the dorky faces Tae makes when he dances, the joy radiating from J-Hope all the time, Suga's cute little smile, Jin's tears, even Jimin's smug attitude from soundcheck. I will remember the joy with which they watched the wave and the fact that Namjoon had us use cell phones instead of the ARMY bombs and how happy I was that he'd made it so people who didn't have a light stick got to play too.

I'm not sure having this be my first kpop concert was a great idea-- it's going to be very hard for anything else to live up to this, lol. (Though I do think G-Dragon will surpass it, but I'm a little bit biased.) And the whole thing was made so much better by getting to share it with the wonderful people I was with, both those who traveled with me and those we met there. I think they may be surprised by all of this, actually-- I am not a very demonstrative person when it comes to things that impact me emotionally, lol, and was not in tears or anything at the concert. But.

This trip was magical. There is no other word for it. I'm tired, I need to put money into savings to recover a bit, I managed to get a tiny bit sunburned (how did I miss the top of my nose?) but I wouldn't change a thing. I'm honestly not sure how to go back to work, to slip back into a life where nothing has changed. That's a bit of hyperbole but... it does feel like the world ought to be different, because in some way I am? I'm not sure what that even means but it feels true. I feel like this experience has, in some way, changed me. Maybe I'm simply feeling a renewed sense of hope or purpose or happiness or something. I don't honestly know and I can't point to any one part of this trip and say "this is why I feel this way." But it's a very real, very strong feeling anyway.

Like I said. So much more than seeing a band perform songs I like. And fuck if i know how to explain what it was. But I'm so glad, so grateful. So... I don't even know. But it's wonderful.

#bts was amazing #is what i am trying to say

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missbrittanyspierce-blog1 · 6 years

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A little q&a

What is your full name? Brittany Susan Pierce

Where and when were you born? Lima Ohio, April 16

Who are/were your parents? Mom and dad. I really don’t know their real names. (Whitney and Pierce)

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? I have a younger sister. She is pretty cool even though I don’t talk to her a lot.

Where do you live now, and with whom? LA baby with my wife Santana.

What is your occupation? I own a dance studio

Write a full physical description of yourself: I am 5′8, long blond hair, blue eyes, pretty skinny and fit because of dancing, no tattoos because they hurt.

To which social class do you belong? I don’t go to class anymore

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? Nope!

Are you right- or left-handed? Right handed

What does your voice sound like? Like clouds. You know its soft and cuddly.

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? I always use a lot of words.

What do you have in your pockets? I don’t have pockets right now.

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? People say I am not that smart. But I don’t believe them

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general? It was fun. I loved being a child

What is your earliest memory? I don’t remember

How much schooling have you had? I graduated high school

Did you enjoy school? Yes, especially high school when I met Santana and Quinn.

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? On the cherrios and glee club

While growing up, did you have any role models? Beyonce, she is amazing.

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family? I always got along with everyone.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? A unicorn

As a child, what were your favorite activities? Dancing and playing in mud

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? Fun and wild like always

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? There was billy and I don’t know the others names.

When and with whom was your first kiss? Uh...this is a hard question.

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? Of course not. I like sexy time. I also don’t remember.

If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today.

Glee club, cheerios and Quinn and Santana made me who I am today.

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? Marrying Santana

Who has had the most influence on you? Santana

What do you consider your greatest achievement? My dance studio.

What is your greatest regret? I don’t regret anything.

What is the most evil thing you have ever done? I gave a puppy away. I loved that puppy

Do you have a criminal record of any kind? I don’t think I do. Is talking in a movie a crime?

When was the time you were the most frightened? When I thought I would lose Santana because I was being rude.

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? I don’t get embarrassed.

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? I wish I became a unicorn

What is your best memory? My wedding.

What is your worst memory? Being called stupid. That hurt me.

PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? Optimistic

What is your greatest fear? Losing Santana

What are your religious views? I believe in Santa claus

What are your political views? I will run the world because I am amazing

What are your views on sex? I love sexy time!

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? I can’t hurt any living thing. I let a spider crawl in our house before.

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? Take away someones phone or not let them have fun.

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? I married mind.

What do you believe makes a successful life? Love, money, house and a job.

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? Sometimes, I like to keep them in sometimes and Santana gets mad when I do.

Do you have any biases or prejudices? What is that?

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? I will not cheat. I love my wife too much to cheat.

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? Santana

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how? I think I treat others with respect.

Who is the most important person in your life, and why? My wife. She takes care of me and I love her.

Who is the person you respect the most, and why? Quinn. She is my best friend is always really nice to me.

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people. I have lots of friends. Santana is my wife, Quinn is my best friend, Kurt and Blaine are my gay best friends. Hmm Oh also Marley! She is quiet but amazing.

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person. Yes, Santana is really cute and loveable but can kill someone too. Don’t get on her bad side.m

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened. I currently am on love. When I kissed her, I melted.

What do you look for in a potential lover? I don’t need a potential lover. I have mine.

How close are you to your family? I talk to my mom ever day.

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not? No, but I want to. We haven’t done it because we both are super busy now.

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? Quinn or Santana. They have my back.

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? Santana and Quinn. They would beat someone up quickly.

If you died or went missing, who would miss you? Of course. Santana, Quinn, Marley, Blaine. All of my friends and family would miss me.

Who is the person you despise the most, and why? Cardi B. I don’t like her music

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? I try to avoid fights

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? No, I am not a good leader.

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? Yes, I do this everyday at work

Do you care what others think of you? Yes I do sometimes.

PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? Dancing and singing.

What is your most treasured possession? My wedding ring

What is your favorite color? Rainbow

What is your favorite food? Pizza

What, if anything, do you like to read? I can’t read anything without pictures

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)? Movies and listening to music and dancing.

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit? I don’t drink really anymore.

How do you spend a typical Saturday night? Cuddling with my wife

What makes you laugh? A lot

What, if anything, shocks or offends you? When people call me stupid. It hurts my feelings.

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? Dance or sing

How do you deal with stress? Dance it out, or sexy time

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? Spon..spomtaneous. I don’t like planning things.

What are your pet peeves? I don’t have any pets

PART 7: SELF IMAGES & OTHER

Describe the routine of a normal day for you. How do you feel when this routine is disrupted? Wake up, shower, eat, work, nap, eat and sleep.

What is your greatest strength as a person? I can pick up 25 pounds.

What is your greatest weakness? I cant pick up a 50 pound box.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Nothing, I like myself.

Are you generally introverted or extroverted? Extroverted

Are you generally organized or messy? Sort of messy

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three thing your bad at? Dancing, singing and speaking. I am bad at traveling, paying attention and remembering things.

Do you like yourself? All the way

What are your reasons for being an adventurer (or doing the strange and heroic things that RPG characters do)? Are your real reasons for doing this different than the ones you tell people in public? (If so, detail both sets of reasons…) Uh I am confused

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? Have a family

Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Being a mother with Santana.

If you could choose, how would you want to die? In my sleep

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. Adopt all the kittens, make love to my wife, spend every penny on Santana.

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? My personality

What three words best describe your personality? Awesome, fun, cool

What three words would others probably use to describe you? Amazing, child like, cool

If you could, what advice would you, the player, give to your character? (You might even want to speak as if he or she were sitting right here in front of you, and use proper tone so he or she might heed your advice…)

#eventwhatif #task 2

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xturtletrashx · 6 years

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Devil’s Dance Floor - Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don’t own Uncharted, blah blah blah, you know how it goes. I do own my OCs though and the plot. This fic in its entirety can be read on AO3 here or you can find the other chapters here.

Sorry again for the huge delay between this chapter and the last. Life got crazy af in both good ways and bad.

Graphic and title pic was made by me, all other pics aren’t mine. If one belongs to you, please let me know and I’ll either credit or remove.

Chapter 15 - Crushed Beneath Her Wave

Sam had always sworn that he wasn't any good at relationships. They were too much work and always seemed to come with excessive amounts of drama and bullshit and a particular lack of freedom that Sam had never been able to stomach. It had always been much easier to just find someone warm to spend a night with, or someone interested in nothing more than a week long fling, and if he was really itching for some company there were hookers in every city the world over if one knew where to look. In comparison, the payoff of a relationship had never really seemed worth it.

Yet, in the months since Simone had returned from France, since Sam had decided that this was, indeed, worth the payoff, the two had settled into a relationship and this new version of normal was something Sam found himself surprisingly comfortable with.

Simone had given up her room at the main castle, instead moving into Sam's little cabin where she'd slowly taken over. Her clothes hung in the closet, a brightly colored contrast to his earthy-toned plaids and denims, and her jewelry and tiny bottles of nail polish had taken up residence on the dresser. In the shower, her shampoo and body wash lined the wire racks, nestled next to the more masculine soap that Sam prefered.

After so long in prison though, Sam was used to sharing his space and while the box of tampons in the medicine cabinet had given him momentary pause, it was easy to fall back into the habit of cohabitating. He just couldn't bring himself to mind this invasion of personal space any more than he minded the way she wrapped herself around him when they climbed into bed for the night.

In short, it all felt right.

"Hey Simone?" Sam started as he stepped out of the shower and reached for the towel.

"Ja?" she answered, her voice carrying through the small cottage and through the open bathroom doorway.

"So after we find Avery's treasure," Sam continued, wrapping the towel around his waist and stepping up to the sink to wipe away the condensation that had fogged the mirror. "Where do you want to go?"

There was a beat of silence, then, "Like, where in th'world?"

"Yeah," Sam prompted. There was a can of shaving cream on the edge of the sink and he squeezed a dollop into the palm of his hand, smoothing the lather across his throat. "We'll be rich, so we can go anywhere you want."

Simone chuckled, "Anywhere?"

"Anywhere."

"Hm . . ."

Razor in hand, Sam took a step back from the sink, craning his neck until he could see her through the open doorway, perched on the couch with Vriend curled up next to her. She had one bare foot propped on the coffee table as she painted her toenails lime green, her lower lip snagged between her teeth as she considered his question.

"Iceland."

Sam blinked. "Iceland? Really?" He'd expected some place tropical and warm, bright and breathtaking--

"I want to see the Northern Lights," she explained further and it all made sense. Of course she did.

"Okay," he readily agreed, turning his attention back to the mirror. He'd never been to Iceland and there was no doubt that the Aurora Borealis was something to see before you died. He ran the razor along his throat, stopping just shy of the short beard he'd decided to grow for the winter. He could probably keep it a while longer if they went to Iceland . . .

"Where d'you wanna go?" Simone asked, stepping into the doorway and leaning one shoulder against the jamb.

"New Orleans," Sam answered without hesitation, his eyes going to Simone's reflection in the mirror. Fuck, she looked beautiful. Her pants were snug leather - slick and begging him to touch - and the shirt she wore was shimmery gold, plunging in the front and distinctly lacking in a back, held in place by delicate chains.

"To see your brother."

He pulled his eyes from the taut expanse of tanned belly and he found her watching him with a knowing look on her face. He nodded. "Yeah, to see my brother."

She nodded in return, pushing away from the wooden frame and stepping into the bathroom on freshly decorated feet. "We can do that." She came up behind him, arms wrapping around his waist and her body warm against his back, then pressed a kiss to the back of his shoulder. "I'd like t'meet him."

"You will," Sam assured her, automatically. He rinsed the razor under the water, absently running a hand over his throat in a distracted search for any missed prickles, but his mind was occupied by thoughts of Nate and Simone meeting. Nate would like her, Sam knew. His brother would appreciate her lust for adventure and her sense of humor and they'd likely band together to tease Sam mercilessly . . .

And maybe it would happen sooner rather than later. Could he convince Simone to abandon Nadine and Rafe and, instead, take their clues to Nathan? It was a question that Sam still couldn't answer and was, frankly, afraid to ask. It wasn't like they actually had any clues, either.

"What're you--?" Sam laughed, pulled back to the here and now by Simone ducking under his arm and pushing her way between himself and the sink. She peered up at him with the sort of smile that made his knees weak and his dick throb, her hands working free the towel at his waist.

"What am I what?" she asked, letting the towel fall to the floor and reaching to wrap a hand around him. "Oh, is this a problem?" She grinned, "D'you want me to stop?"

Sam's chuckle was just a bit breathless and he shook his head, reaching out without looking to push the door closed. "Not a chance in hell."

With insurances that they wouldn't be interrupted by a curious puppy in place, Sam's attention went completely back to the woman in front of him, his still-damp hands eagerly popping open the button on her pants. It was erotic, the feel of the leather beneath his palms, the way the material almost seemed to sigh as the button released . . .

He helped boost her onto the sink, taking half a step back to free her legs and toss the undoubtedly expensive pants aside, then he was pressing between her thighs again and peppering her neck and chest with hungry kisses.

It had taken a trip to the clinic in Edinburgh and a full STD screening for Simone to agree to tossing aside the condoms but, in Sam's opinion, the ordeal had been entirely worth it. Neither of them were harboring any diseases in their loins and Simone's birth control took care of the pregnancy factor, which meant that impromptu moments like this didn't have to be interrupted and both of them could enjoy sex without the latex barrier.

"We'll be late," Simone helpfully pointed out, but made no move to stop him as Sam slipped inside of her with only the slightest resistance, prompting the most delicious gasp from her lips as his length filled her.

God, she was always so wet. "Don't care," Sam answered, hands grasping her ass firmly and pulling her closer to the edge of the sink.

"Neither do I," she admitted with a laugh and a welcoming roll of her hips.

Being the one with the better leverage, Sam took most of her weight as Simone braced herself on the sink, clumsily knocking the shaving cream and the razor to the floor with a clatter as she wrapped her legs around his hips. The scent of her hair and her sex filled his nose, an intoxicating mix that spoke to the simpler parts of his brain - those parts that fed the need to cover her in his scent, to fill her with his cum, before going to ring in the New Year with her Shoreline co-workers. Simone was his, those primal instincts screamed, and he wasn't above reminding every single one of them of that fact. And that included Rafe, whose jealousy was a very real and very ugly thing that Sam had no issues with antagonizing.

Simone's arms were trembling as she held herself steady on the sink and with every thrust of his hips, her breasts bounced under the silky thin material of her shirt. She was driving him wild just by being herself, filling his ears with moaning encouragement, and when he slipped a hand between them to rub his thumb over her clit, her gasps neared a fever pitch and she came with a bucking of hips.

"God, you're so fuckin' sexy," he ground out, pulling her closer with arms wrapped around her waist. Simone's hands grasped at his shoulders, sliding up the back of his neck and drawing his face down to breathe in her scent there behind her ear . . .

The world fell away and in that moment, pressed against Simone, with the aftershocks of his orgasm trembling his muscles, Sam felt a moment of absolute clarity. This was what was important. This woman leaving trails of soft kisses along his neck and shoulder, her heart thumping against his chest, beating in time with his own, and Sam found his mouth opening and words passing his lips: "Will you marry me?"

Was it surprise that had Simone going very still in his arms, her breath catching softly in his ear, or was it happiness? Sam pulled back, his hands coming up to cup her face as he studied the angle of her eyebrows, the way her painted lip trembled . . .

It wasn't the expression he'd expected and Sam found his own eyebrows drawing down in confusion and dismay and maybe bit of regret that he wasn't quite ready to indulge. "Simone?"

She was nodding though, small motions that caused her curls to bounce around her shoulders, brushing against his fingers. "I want to," she said. "Oh god, Sam, I do. I just . . ." Her eyes drifted away from his face, searching around the bathroom for the words to express herself. "We will."

Her words weren't reassuring and Sam swallowed past the lump in his throat, his stomach a nervous pit of nausea and roiling bile. "So let's do it then," he suggested, forging intrepidly ahead. "Why wait? Simone, we can fly anywhere, tonight, and be married by tomorrow. We can start the new year as Mister and Missus Drake - for real."

She shook her head, emotion fading from her features. She no longer looked panicked, as if she might run or burst into tears, but the all-business set of her jaw didn't do much to smooth Sam's own frayed edges. "No, Sam," she said gently. "That's not what I want, baby. I want a . . . a big wedding. I want our friends there; Nadine and . . . and Nathan . . ." She ran her fingertips gently over his beard as she met his eyes, "I want a white dress and, I dunno, bridesmaids or whatever . . ."

Sam blinked, surprised by her words. "Really?" Simone was spontaneous, adventurous, the type to chase her whims and let the chips fall where they may; she wasn't the Big White Wedding type - the planning type. "Okay," he reluctantly agreed, nodding slowly. "If that's what you want."

"It is," Simone assured him, her face breaking into a smile. "And, jus' so we're clear, the answer is yes, Sam. I will marry you."

***

It had always been a struggle for Simone to exercise self control, being far too impulsive, as her father had always been quick to criticize. She'd gotten better with it as she's grown older; sniping was a lesson in patience and had taught her to wait until the time was right before pulling the trigger, but in her everyday life, Simone often wrestled with that notion.

Truth was, she didn't want a white wedding or flowers or even a big dress. Truth was, she would marry Sam in an instant and she didn't care if it happened on a beach or at a petrol station, whether it was just the two of them or whether they were surrounded by friends and family. As long as they were together, their hearts and souls bared to each other, it would have been good enough for Simone. But there was no way they could marry now; maybe someday but certainly not tomorrow.

So she'd lied - again - because she could hardly tell the man she wanted a future with that she had already said I do or that he'd have to wait for her current husband to die before they could legally marry. She'd locked onto that self control with deadly efficiency, gone through the motions of getting dressed, finishing her make-up, walking up to the main castle with her fiance´, getting them drinks, making small talk with the other contractors . . . and through it all she'd smiled and laughed and pretended, for all the world to see, that her lies weren't completely eating her up inside.

She couldn't keep it up forever though and her tension was growing with every passing minute that crept them closer to midnight and the New Year it heralded. She felt as if she were crawling out of her skin, annoyed by the small crowd of contractors who'd stayed in Scotland for the holiday season, nervous about the amount of alcohol flowing and her own tension was only amplified by Sam's. He didn't like these sort of crowds, she'd learned, especially made up as it was by Shoreline contractors. It's too easy for it to get out of control, he'd explained when she'd asked. To turn into a riot. She'd argued that twenty drunk Shoreliners were hardly enough to constitute a riot, but he hadn't budged, only explained further that twenty men could cause a lot of damage.

She'd thought it was silly, maybe a bit paranoid, but she hadn't pressed the issue. This time though, this time, she understood. There was something in the air, as if the entire night were holding its breath . . .

"Are you okay?"

Simone's eyes darted to Sam, "What? Ja, I'm fine."

His eyebrows lowered, "Are you sure? D'you want to leave?"

Oh god, did she ever! "I really would love to. I 'ave a headache," she lied, leaping at the chance to make their escape. "Let me just find Nadine and let'er know?"

"Yeah, okay," Sam agreed, obviously relieved that she was game for cutting out early. "I'll get the coats."

It only took a minute of searching to find Nadine in the library, her face set in a mask of dubious amusement as Sergei drunkenly regaled her with a tale of one of his often embellished stories, and only another moment for Nadine to take one look at her and determine that something was wrong.

"What is it?" Nadine asked without preamble.

Simone's lips pressed together, but her sister's steady gaze had her resolve wavering. "Can I talk t'ya?"

Nadine was nodding, reaching out to wrap an arm around Simone's shoulders and usher her toward the nearest doorway.

***

When his evening had started, Rafe had been in a decent mood. Tired from his flight in from New York, maybe, but he'd been ready to laugh and celebrate, to start the New Year off on the right foot because this was the year he'd find Avery's treasure. They were close, he could feel it in his bones, and it was only a matter of time before one of these clues panned out.

That good mood had been steadily declining with every sip of scotch he'd downed, annoyed by every moment he had to spend watching Sam and Simone in each others company. It wasn't something he was normally witness to, these acts of affection, being that he rarely spent time with the two of them together. In fact, he and Simone had barely exchanged more than a handful of words since the last time he'd cornered her in the hallway.

Still, it was easy enough to recognize her voice as Rafe hesitated just outside the Smoking Room door, his ears picking up bits of whispered conversation:

"When?"

"Tonight. While we were gettin' ready to come up 'ere. He just . . . asked."

Nadine's sigh drifted through the open doorway, "Simone, you 'ave to tell him."

"Nadine, I can't. He'll be so mad . . ."

"You 'ave to. If you want to 'ave a chance at marryin' him, then you 'ave to tell him everything."

Rafe's lips parted and despite the buzz of intoxication he quickly put the pieces together, realizing that Sam didn't know about Simone's husband. At first the notion seemed preposterous - didn't everyone know that Simone was married? - but then when did Sam ever willingly communicate with the Shoreline contractors? He always seemed to avoid them as often as he could and every conversation Rafe had been witness to had been painfully impersonal. Could he really blame any of those guys for not wanting to be the one to spill the beans to their boss's sister's lover?

On the heels of that surprise came indignant anger thumping hot through his veins, but he wasn't sure if that anger was directed at Simone, for lying to Sam for so long, or at Sam for wanting to marry her at all. Rafe's lips twisted into a bitter snarl. Why did he even care? Sam had made it clear that he wasn't interested . . .

Rafe had never dealt well with rejection though and that embarrassment had his resolve hardening and his vision narrowing as he drained the last of his Scotch, set the glass on the edge of the billiard table, and set off to find Sam.

***

With jackets in hand, Sam wound his way through the small crowd, skirting around a table where two contractors had set up an impromptu game of Quarters and keeping an eye open for Simone's familiar shape. Instead, he found Rafe.

Sam would've had to be an idiot to miss the way Rafe's mood had grown steadily more sour, the frown lines between his eyebrows deepening with every passing hour, and Sam's plans to avoid the other man for the rest of the evening were quickly waylaid. Rafe was headed straight for him, with his face set in a determined glower and his eyes ringed in the faintest blush of red, and Sam found tension knotting his shoulders with every step that brought them closer. Something was wrong.

"Did everyone hear the good news?" Rafe asked, his voice rising over the buzz of voices and easily drawing the attention of those near them.

Sam drew to a stop, his stomach twisting in apprehension as Rafe's eyes locked on him. There were a million announcements that a rich man could make to a crowd on New Year's Eve but Sam knew that whatever came out of Rafe's mouth next wouldn't have anything to do with a merger or an acquisition or whatever-the-fuck else.

And Sam was right.

"Tonight, my dear friend, Samuel Drake, asked Simone Ross to marry him."

The words were mostly met with silence - with the exception of a rude and incredulous chuckle from someone - and though Sam's eyes may not have left Rafe, he could feel the contractors' gazes settle on him. The sudden attention had Sam's teeth clenching, his hands tightening around the jackets he held and he opened his mouth to tell Rafe, in no uncertain terms, to fuck off--

But Rafe shook his head and let out a chuckle, holding up one hand, "Oh wait, wait. Did I say Simone Ross? Of course, I meant Simone Mthembu. It's been a long time since she was a Ross." He glanced around, as if suddenly confused, "Or, was she ever a Ross? Where's Nadine? She'd know."

Confusion had Sam's brows lowering, his face burning, and he chanced a glance around him. Everyone was watching him, their expressions ranging anywhere from sympathetic to amused, but Sam hadn't the slightest clue what Rafe was talking about and there was no hiding it. "Rafe . . ." he started, warning clear in his voice.

"Whatsa matter, Samuel? She never told you about her husband?"

Sam's heart was suddenly hammering, beating a frantic tattoo against his ribs as they constricted and for a painful second, he swore his entire chest was caving in. He couldn't breathe, his face burning with embarrassment as his brain persistently refused to make sense of what was happening around him. He was still dimly aware of the eyes on him, the murmur of voices surrounding him - … 'he didn't know' ... 'she never told him…' - but all he could see were Rafe's lips twisted into a cruel smile, his eyes lit with dark amusement as he continued: "She never told you that she married a rich old prick for his money? That she's just one of three wives? Her husband is soaked in so much blood that he makes the rest of us look squeaky clean . . ."

It wasn't true. It had to be a lie. It was just Rafe - petty and jealous Rafe - trying to hurt him because in his tiny, twisted, brain he thought that Sam should have chosen him instead . . .

"Did she tell you that I asked her to keep an eye on you? That she only fucked you because I asked her to?"

"Rafe, shut up!"

Simone's voice cut through the sound of blood rushing in Sam's ears and his eyes snapped to her familiar figure as she pushed her way through the small crowd. Her face was flushed with anger, her balled fists trembling, but it was the shine of tears in her eyes that had Sam taking a step back in desperate retreat.

It was a small movement but Simone reacted to it as if it were a physical blow, her shoulders falling and her mouth opening. "Sam, I--"

And there was a part of him that wanted to comfort her, to reach for her and draw her into his arms so he could smooth the sorrow from her brow and kiss the frown from her lips, but those tears and the regret that etched her features told him all he needed to know. Rafe wasn't lying.

"He needed to know the truth, Simone!" Rafe insisted.

"Shut the fuck up, Rafe!" Sam heard Nadine snap, but he was already turning and walking away.

Sam still held both his jacket and Simone's, forgotten in his hands, but he'd heard enough and the sudden need to get away from the stifling press of bodies, the feel of eyes on him, had him moving with single-minded determination. He needed air. He needed a cigarette. He needed to get as far away from his fiance' as possible because fuck Simone. Fuck her lies and her bullshit stories, fuck her smile and her freckles, and the way she made him feel complete . . .

The frigid Scotland air stole whatever breath remained in Sam's lungs as he pushed his way through the door and into the night. There was snow beneath his booted feet but above him the sky was clear and sparkling with stars and Sam slowed, chin tipping up as his eyes automatically sought out the constellations. Cassiopeia, the beautiful and vain Queen of Ethiopia, forever chained to her throne in punishment for angering Poseidon . . .

"Sam?"

With his head tipped back, Sam allowed his eyes to drift closed - perhaps so he wouldn't be tempted to look at the woman behind him or maybe so the tears would stay where they were meant to be. "It's all true." It wasn't a question, the words spoken with a calm sort of resolution.

"Yes," Simone answered, her voice so soft that he nearly turned to look at her.

"Were you gonna tell me?"

"I meant to," she admitted. "I tried so many times but" - her voice broke on a shivery sob - "but I was so scared t'lose you that every time I tried the words wouldn't come . . ."

Sam's eyes blinked open and he turned to find her standing with her arms crossed, her bare skin prickled with goosebumps and her breath fogging in the cold. There were mascara tinted tears on her cheeks, her eyes shining with moisture yet to be shed, and she looked so lost and alone that he found himself stepping closer and holding out her jacket so he wouldn't pull her into his arms instead. So he wouldn't forgive her.

Simone reached for it, wrapping it around her shoulders as she swore, "I'll tell you everything, Sam. Every little bit - I promise."

His hand fell back to his side and he shook his head, anger tightening his features. "Save it, Simone," he ground out. "I've heard enough." And for the second time that night, he turned away from her and walked away.

#Devil's Dance Floor #my writing #uncharted 4 #sam drake #simone #samone #OC

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conquesterandric-blog · 5 years

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The Colossalcon 2018 Quest Log. (Con-quest part 2)

I suppose I learned a few things in my second con as a freelance adventurer.

Sometimes a failed adventure makes for a better story than a successful adventure.

A party of adventurers is much more efficient than a solo adventurer.

You can survive at Colossalcon without a room if you know how to hide your camp.

Welcome to part 2 of my con-quest log. If you missed the first part, Con-questing is just another layer of activities I do at anime cons. Not only do I cosplay and larp out my D&D/Pathfinder ranger character, but actually take it a step further and attempt to do that thing freelance adventurers do. You know, try to obtain quests from random people, seek out treasures of forgotten lore, and explore the extra planar dungeon space I find myself trapped in with all these strange other people. This time however, I had to work around a few real world obstacles to continue my experience. Yes, aside from gas money, I was flat broke the entire con. I had obtained my con badge far in advance, my tax return was absurdly late, I quit my 48 hour a week (Minimum) job so I could hopefully find something part time in order to have time to work on projects, so I had barely any money at that point... You get the picture. Basically I parked far in the back of the building under the shade of a tree and camped out in the back seat the entire con. (Thus the unkempt appearance in several pics.) Resorting to emergency rations if needed, trying to ignore the night parties at the bungalows that were happening near by, all that stuff.

And if you’re wondering how the hell I was able to run around in all that medieval garb in the scorching summer heat, well…

I have way more heat tolerance than anyone raised in Ohio ever should have, and:

You should’a seen Darth Vader.

But compared to Ohayocon, I noticed something different about the people in Colossalcon. Like it’s a lot of the same people, but they’re much more open to playing along and interacting with this adventurer. I have a theory though. Gotta be that people are pent up in their homes all winter, so by the time Ohayocon rolls around, its much more like they have expectations of what they want their con to be. Hence, people are a little more stressed, and thus more reserved when it comes to interacting with freelance adventurers or other roleplayers. Where as Colossalcon? It’s a summer con. People just want to have fun. They relax, they go with the flow, and are less guarded. More likely to approach or even participate. Yes, I had several people join my party and quest with me at Colossalcon. That alone was kinda more rewarding.

Anyways, just found that interesting, because remember. I’ve been to all the Ohio conventions a thousand times, but when I experience them as a freelance adventurer, I get to see different sides to them.

So yeah. All that said, here is what I accomplished at Colossalcon 2018. This time, let’s start with the failed quests.

Colossalcon 2018 Quest Log:

Failed Quests:

X | Bounty Hunt Storm Trooper X. (We had a swordsmen, a gunman, and a black mage. He had a party of 5, all armed with laser blasters. We lost.)

X | Find the Vault 101 Rock. (We found a Kingdom Hearts rock instead.)

X | Acquire a boyfriend for Jody.

X | Hug Monika. Just Monika. (Failed because none showed up at the photoshoot and I couldn’t abstain from hugging all the Sayuris while murmuring emotionally uplifting encouragements.)

X (Sorta) | Solve the Riddler’s Conundrums.

X | Count all the Deku scrubs. (At this point I was too bored of counting quests. They aren’t very fun to be honest.)

━━━━━━━━━━

Carry Over Quests:

- | Join a Death Note Mafia game.

━━━━━━━━━━

Completed quests:

O | Recruit a mage, a healer, a tank, a rogue, and an animal companion for the duration of two quests.

O | Infiltrate a photoshoot and try to convince everyone there you are a character from that series. (So apparently none of the final fantasy cosplayers have played FFXI.)

O | Save an NPC’s family from Shadow Link.

O | Find Sailor Pluto and say “Hi”.

O | Unionize the fellow adventurers

O | Find an oversized cosplay and take a picture with it.

O | Find out who pulled the fire alarm. (It was actually the Kalahari staff. They wanted to fix an AC unit, so they pulled it to get everyone out of the building. It was pulled a second time by accident when they went to reset it.)

O | Hold the Door for 10 minutes.

O | Acquire 10 hugs again.

O | Team up with the Saiyens.

O | Circumnavigate the entire exterior of the Kalahari building. (Twice).

O | Duel on the bridge.

O | Give a Kaiju a hug.

O | Objectively “Have a great con.”

O | Follow R2D2 around like a duckling.

O | Pat head and rub belly at the same time.

O | Find Amethyst and Garnet.

O | Find 2 Yugis in one place.

O | Start a game of Ninja

O | Find a cat, get a cat quest.

O | —Cat Quest: Find an assortment of Rainbow Monkeys and Snakes.

O | Show a party where to get food. Acquire a free meal. (I am still eternally grateful!)

O | Escort a party to the volleyball court.

O | Acquire Treasure for Santa.

O | Help Caden find friends.

O | Acquire Food for Security.

O | Escort another group to the volleyball court.

O | Acquire 3 Rathian Plates for the monster hunter lady.

O | Get picture taken with a badge checker in it.

O | Find an easter egg with a pet in it.

O | Duel 2B.

O | Fistbump Prompto.

O | Hug a Noctis.

O | Take a picture with Sexy-time Waluigi.

O | Loot a Dragon. (Yet again, I acquired whatever a Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid” cosplayer was willing to lend me.)

O | Find a 1994 penny.

O | Count all the dogs at the con. (We estimated about 3 1/2)

O | Chidori a Naruto Character.

O | Hug someone while doing the dooglebob scream. (Awkward...)

O | Hug Laura Croft. (Guess she really wanted a hug. Dunno why she made it a quest.)

O | Give a piggy back ride from one end of the hall to the other. (And back.)

O | Help a tired fox locate her best friend.

O | Slap my adventuring Companion. (Quest acquired by his friend.)

O | Ask Ignis to make me a sandwich.

O | Ask Arden to murder me.

Join me next time, where I shall post the results of my con-questing at Matsuricon in Columbus Ohio. My next conquest this year will be at Colossalcon again. This time, preferably with money. And as like last time, here are some pictures of me questing that I was able to track down on facebook. Some correspond to the quests.

Quest 15: Follow R2D2 around like a duckling while quacking.

Quest 29: Get picture taken with a badge checker in it.

Quest 30: Find an easter egg. (Found by our party black mage, as seen in the picture.)

Quest 31: Duel 2B

Quest 34: Sexytime Waluigi

#anime convention #con #side quest #larplife #colossalcon #pathfinder character #d&d character

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667-darkavenue · 7 years

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cake by the ocean - ficlet

Fandom: The Adventure Zone

Pairing: Lup/Lucretia

Summary: Pirate AU. Takes place during The Stolen Century. The Starblaster crashes into the sea and gets taken hostage by mermaids. To meet their demands and get the spaceship back from the depths of the ocean, the gang have to take down the mermaids’ enemies above the water. Lup decides some changes are in order.

Co-written with @moonlit-trash | on ao3.

Taako wakes up with his face in the beach. Sand flutters away from his mouth as he groans into it. “Ugh… Lup?”

She’s shaking sand out of her hair as she watches him sit up.

“Taako…” His twin reaches down to peel a piece of seaweed off her brother’s chest. “What the fuck?”

The last thing she remembers is the Starblaster crashing real bad, the ship flooding—At least they cast breathing spells on everyone in time. Taako’s looking around the long stretch of beach they washed up in, not another person in sight.

“Guess we got separated in the water,” he mumbles to himself.

He blinks up at Lup, pale white sand still clinging to the half of of his face that was crushed into the shore. She tells him, “You look like a half-moon cookie.”

The corner of his lip twitches upward. “Mm. At least that.”

He holds both hands up, wiggling his fingers in the air, and she catches them.

“Well, we gotta find ‘em. Even with water breathing, I don’t trust that half of them will make it,” she says as she tugs him up, their feet splashing the water where it spreads across the sand each time a wave sweeps ashore. “I mean, c’mon. You’ve seen Merle.”

“They’re hella drowned if they didn’t wash up somewhere around here.”

Lup gave him a Look™. “Nah. We're the ones who casted shit on them to make sure they hella wouldn't drown. And we're… us. No way they fucked up that badly. The Starblaster's probably Starbusted, though.” She kicks some sand into the ocean, sadly. “Pour one out for our pimp ass spaceship.”

“Moment of silence.” Taako plucks a brown string of kelp out of his hair and plops it into the water. After a pause, he adds, “But we should go find it anyway. Fixing it's the only way to get out of here, and—more importantly—all my clothes are on it.”

“You're right. How am I supposed to borrow them if they're at the bottom of the ocean?” She smiles at him, before getting real. “Okay, yeah, but I am super not into the idea of going back into the water after it almost goddamn drowned us. Do you remember that scroll we saw—Jaws, Taako?”

He’s already talking over her—“Because it wants to keep my closet, shit, I'd kill for it too.”

“All right. I'll let you do the honors, since your bag is transmutation.” She stares down into the water, waiting for Taako to cast the spell. The water is clear enough that she can see their reflections. “Can I just say that we are definitely pulling off this beached look?”

“Fucking nailing it. All this sand on my face? Exfoliating the hell out of it.”

Finding the Starblaster was…

Well, they found it.

They also found that there’s mermaids in this world. And they talk. And they’re kind of mean.

“I want to go on record now—Where's Lucretia when you need her? I want this written down in both her journals,” Lup ranted. “Swimming fucking sucks. I move to demote Cap'nport for crashing our ship and almost killing us all permanently.”

Weighed down by soaked clothes, they trudged back out to the same beach they started on.

“Yeah, I can't believe they wouldn't let you at least take the clothes out of the ship.”

She gave him a Look™ again. “I sort of meant the destroying ten ships to get our ship back deal.”

“Ohhh. Yeah. Unfortunate,” he said, very unconvincingly. “But they're the bad guys harpooning cute whales, so who cares, right?”

That was the deal they had to strike with the mermaids, who wouldn’t let them go near the Starblaster.

“Yeah, you're right.”

Then she’s quiet for a bit. After walking long enough down the uneven shoreline, a town and some docks starts coming into sight.

“You think the others will be cool with it?” Lup asks. “If we find them?”

Taako laughs to himself. “Considering most of them were down to end a civilization before you slapped us with that wisdom... I don't think it's gonna be a big deal. Not if you’re in.”

“Yeah, remind me never to let you guys do missions on your own, all right?”

“Lup!”

Lup’s head jerks up at the sound of her name, coming from somewhere within the bustle of the town market they stumbled across.

“Taako!” the same voice shouts.

And they see a familiar face bobbing through the crowd, rushing toward them.

“You’re alright!” Lucretia says. Then her brows knit together when she gets a good look at them. “And... you're... still wet?”

It had been an entire day since the crash. Lucretia looked cleaned up, prim and proper as always. As if she found this town and got situated right away. That’s probably what the rest of the crew were up to while Lup and Taako’s first move was diving right back into the ocean that spat them out.

“Yeah,” Lup answers flatly. “We found the ship.”

“Oh.” Lucretia’s eyes pop open and her mouth forms a perfect tiny ‘o’ the way it always does when she says Oh. “That, that's great. We've been negotiating getting a different ship here, to use it to, to dig the Starblaster out.”

Lup elbows her gently and smiles. “I'm glad you're okay, too, you know.”

“I am! I am glad. I was looking for you before I found this place.”

“Mhm. Did you manage to salvage your journals? I need you to write something down for me…”

Lucretia visibly deflates at the question. Lup is taken aback, as that is the complete opposite reaction she normally had to being asked to jot something down.

“No, I couldn't bring my journals with me,” Lucretia says, “The ocean would destroy them so I, just, thought it safer to leave them. It sucked.”

“Oh, dear,” Taako chimed in. “Do you need a hug? Hug her, Lup.”

He wasn’t a hugger.

She wonders if Lucretia is a hugger.

“Well, I wanted to look for you guys, too,” Lup says, opting to test the waters by placing a consoling hand on Lucretia’s shoulder, “But Taako wanted to find the ship. Which... We did. But some mermaids are holding it hostage until we kill some whalers. It's a long story.”

Lucretia’s eyes dart up to meet hers, startlingly intent. “Did you say mermaids?”

“Yeeeeeeah,” Lup’s face scrunches into a grimace at the thought of them. She hears Taako make a little “eugh” sound over her shoulder and assumes he’s making a similar face. “They were pretty though,” Lup adds.

“Wow.” Lucretia sighs the word more than she says it.

Then she’s reaching into her satchel and whipping out a new journal and quill that she has already bought somehow. She’s an expert at writing while standing with a book in the crook of her elbow. Lup cranes over the page to see what she’s scrawling: Mermaids are real and they are pretty.

“Oh—This is important,” Lup tells her. “Probably deserves its own page.”

Lucretia actually instantly flips to a new page and holds her quill over it excitedly.

Lup smiles. “Swimming fucking sucks.”

The quill doesn’t touch the page. Lucretia looks up and meets her eyes. “Pardon?”

Once more, with conviction, Lup says, “Swimming. Fucking. Sucks.”

She doesn’t break eye contact. Lucretia blinks at her.

“You know how hard it was to find our ship in the entirety of the bullshit ocean? Swimming sucks. Jot that the fuck down.” Lup’s fingertip creeps over the top of Lucretia’s journal to tap the blank page. “Also,” she adds, quickly and as if it's not important, “They said there's some asshole whaling ships killing their friends and we can have the Starblaster back if we take ten of them out.”

“Oh, wow. I. Okay.” Lucretia’s eyes dart down and she writes ‘swimming sucks’ in tiny letters on its own page, then flips back to write the other stuff. “We can't actually do that, though. That would get us in, uh, deep trouble. With the human people here.” (By the way, Lucretia is talking at the same time that she’s writing down what Lup just told her, and it is mindblowing. Lup can’t even prepare spells and listen to music with lyrics at the same time. Lucretia keeps talking without looking up, unaware of how gone with the wind Lup’s dome is right now.) “We would basically be... I think we'd be pirates.”

Taako leans in and whispers, "That's so fucking sexy."

Yep.

“It's either that or murder a bunch of mermaids who just wanna protect their friends,” Lup says. “Which isn't something I'm willing to do.”

Lucretia is quiet for a minute, reading over what she wrote, thinking it over. Eventually, she concedes, “Yeah, that's worse.” She tucks her fresh journal under her arm and asks, “Do you... You wanna see the new ship?”

“Hell yeah, I wanna see the ship,” Taako says. “What'd you cook up for us, Lucretia?”

With a jerk of her head in the direction of the docks, she spins around and starts leading them to it. Along the way she explains how they got it. “Well, we found an ad for someone who wanted to commission a crew, and I... kind of told him the opening act of Treasure Island. He bought it and gave us a ship in return for following a treasure map I drew twenty minutes beforehand, and supposedly bringing back the treasure.”

Lup high fives her first, because that’s definitely worthy of it, then shoots a look at Taako and mouths, Did you read Treasure Island?

No!, he mouths back, looking incredulous that she even asked.

She turns back to Lucretia. “Nice job. Were you able to find the others?”

“Uh, most of them. I washed up with Merle, we found Magnus and Davenport nearby. Still no Barry. Merle and Magnus are combing the beaches for him.”

“Fuck. I knew he couldn't swim,” Lup mutters darkly.

She doesn’t have much time to linger on that worry, since they approach a super badass-looking pirate ship that Taako flips over.

“Is that our ride? Is that it? Hell yes, fuckin dope.” He rushes up the gangway and poses on the ship. From up there, he calls out, “Tell me how cool I look!”

“You look like a nerd!” Lup shouts back while flashing him a grin and two enthusiastic thumbs up. She turns to Lucretia to ask, “What’s her name?”

“Who?”

“The ship. Obviously. It needs a name.”

“Oh,” her eyes and mouth do that little perfect round ‘o’ thing again, “Right. Hm. What's a good ship name?”

“LUPCRETIA,” Taako shouts from the deck.

Lup waves her hand and the letters Lupcretia appear on the side of the ship. On her face right now would be the world’s largest shit-eating grin. The current world record holder for most shits eaten in a minute. Lucretia is gaping, either horrified or delighted.

“You like it? I think you ought to Captain the fuck outta this thing.”

Lup thinks she sees a blush creeping over Lucretia’s face before she covers her face with her book. “Ohh my god, no.”

“Why not?” Lup prods, eyes glittering with mischief. “You're smart and good with both your hands, Captain.”

“I—Thank—?” Lucretia stammers, words muffled by the book over her face.

Lup is persistent. “Besides, there's no way the rest of us wouldn't steer this shit directly into an iceberg or something, like in that scroll, Titanic.”

Lucretia’s book comes down, and her face looks surprisingly composed. “No, I'm pretty sure Captain Davenport should handle it. We’re in the tropics, anyway.”

“Come on, he literally just crashed our other ship. You're gonna trust him with another one?” Lup’s eyes veer skyward in exasperation.

“You—You can't just make me captain, the spot's been taken.”

“MUTINY,” Taako yells down at them, leaning over the ship’s railing.

“Yeah, Taako and I already decided, and you think anyone's gonna argue with us? We're pretty insufferable as a team.”

As if on cue, Lup hears two familiar voices shout her name simultaneously behind her back. Her friends came back at just the right time.

“Merle! Magnus!” She greets them with relieved high fives. “We're going to be pirates now and Lucretia's gonna captain our ship, you down with that?”

“Hell yeah,” Merle says, without taking any time to think about it.

“Super down,” Magnus agrees before bounding up the gangway to reunite with Taako.

Lucretia’s careful composure melts into an expression of utter disbelief.

Lup slides a smug look over to her. “You've been overruled. We need to get you a cool hat. Merle, let her borrow your eye patch, she's gotta get the look right.”

Merle doesn’t hesitate to pull it off his head.

“No! Put, Put that back on, I don't want it. That's gross.” Lucretia scrambles to swat away his offering.

“God, fine,” he scoffs, deeply offended, before storming off into the ship.

Lucretia’s eyes flit from the ship, to Lup, to her own feet. After a moment of consideration, her good old composure comes back.

She gives in. “I'll take a cool hat.”

Lup’s grin is nothing short of beaming as she conjures the single dopest captain’s hat of all time. She hears Taako make an inarticulate noise of intense jealousy in the distance.

“I want to do the honors,” Lup insists.

Like a real chill coronation, she lifts the hat over Lucretia and places it on her head. She spends a few seconds carefully shifting the hat to the coolest possible position. Lucretia is looking at her the entire time, only giving a hesitant smile. Lup conjures up an eyepatch too, just for shits and gigs. She dangles it in front of Lucretia.

“Look, this patch is, it's cool, but, I kind of need both eyes. I use them a lot.”

Lup sighs theatrically. But she’s not actually all that disappointed. This is still a win. “As long as you recognize that it is, indeed, cool as hell—” She slips the patch over her own eye for aesthetic.

Lucretia’s eyes widen and her lips part in the shape of a neat little circle, but she doesn’t say anything. Lup is 100% sure that she is very visibly thinking Oh shit, that’s so hot. Lup is definitely like, I know, and tries to wink, but her winking eye is covered behind the eyepatch. It still kinda works out though. She’s pretty sure she’s just that fuckin’ cute.

Lucretia doesn't know how to handle this. She just sort of walks away, quietly screaming with her mouth closed. Lup follows behind her new captain, smiling to herself.

#the adventure zone #taz #lupcretia #lup #lucretia #taako #cake by the ocean

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