Can we get one where pepa and Felix give Camilo THE TALK after that book when Camilo walked in they explain what he saw??
I kinda did that one at an age where Camilo was old enough to know what he was seeing. But, we fucking love making him suffer, so he's gonna get the talk today fuckers-
(Also they're referring to this post;
"Pepa I think it's just going to make this worse-"
"Félix Madrigal you knock on that door or I will tornado."
Camilo could hear his parents bicker just outside his door. He was just trying to sleep, and totally forget about the fact that cake was now ruined for the rest of his life. They continued to bicker, and he hoped that they'd just leave him alone if he stayed quiet enough. He wasn't so lucky, for he heard a knock on his door. He sighed, and sat up from his bed, rubbing his eyes.
"If you guys want to come in, can you make it quick? I need beauty sleep. I can shapeshift, but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna keep up my routine."
He clapped his hands to get the lights on, just in time for his parents to walk in. His dad didn't want to be here, and Camilo didn't want him here. They were both here because Pepa's words was essentially law on their side of the family. Camilo scooted over to let his parents sit on his bed. Pepa took a deep breath, fiddling with her braid.
"Mijo, we uhm...wanted to explain what you saw earlier."
"The 'wrestling', yeah."
"Well it WASN'T wrestling. You're un adulto joven. So we should explain what DID happen."
Oh no. Oh no. They were going to give him the talk. This was NOT happening. He groaned into his hand, tempted to get Luisa in here to end it for him.
"Mami, I KNOW what was happening, I'm fifteen. I know all about this stuff."
"...what do you mean you 'know this stuff'?"
He saw his dad right behind her, giving a clear signal that she was upset. As if the roaring thunder wasn't enough. Camilo didn't like to hide things from his mom, in fact they all made it a point NOT to. But if she found out he knew about sex, she'd kill...well, everyone in the Encanto probably. So, he bit the bullet.
"As in I know about cuddling and junk. That IS what you guys were doing, right?"
Her clouds disappeared, and she sighed in relief.
"No, mijo. We weren't cuddling. We were...Félix, ayúdame!"
From his mom he could probably take the talk, because he loved her so much. But with his dad...well, it was obvious it was weirder.
"So...when a mami and papi love each other VERY much, they...show it. By having sex."
"Great I feel totally educated can you guys g-"
Pepa wouldn't let him go, not that easily.
"No no no. You have to know this stuff. One day you'll have a family. I don't want you to end up single like Bruno, you're too pretty for that. Come on Félix."
Félix REALLY didn't want to, but clearly Pepa wasn't taking no for an answer.
"So sex is...where a man puts his..."
He looked towards Pepa, trying to figure out if he should be blunt (his preferred method) or sort of lightened up (like how she'd prefer). Félix decided to go his way, since he had the floor.
"He puts his penis in her vagina. And that's what I was doing. We didn't mean for you to catch us, but it did, we can only move on from there."
Okay, not TOO bad, he guessed. Lacked class, but what was he expecting, a fucking musical number?
"Okay great, are we d-"
"BUT, since one day you'll probably have sex, we should explain how to stay safe. Like uhm, condoms. Félix?"
Félix reached into his shirt, and pulled out a condom. Was it absolutely weird, seeing condoms your dad used? Absolutely. At this point, he was just praying this was a nightmare.
"Yep. Okay. See it. Acknowledged."
"Félix show him how to put it on."
Félix REALLY didn't want to do that, he could tell.
"Pepa I don't think I have to-"
"Oh yes, because our son just MAGICALLY knows how to put them on!"
Félix looked ready to argue with his wife, before he looked to Camilo.
"Wait, wait. You. Don't know how to actually put these on, do you?"
Oh no, he was taking it seriously now. Pepa scoffed, ruffling her hand through Camilo's locks.
"OBVIOUSLY, idiota!"
"Pa please-"
"No no no, my dad taught me when I was thirteen, I'm AMAZED I haven't taught you. Okay so, here's how you do it."
He wanted to leave, but at this point, Pepa had held onto Camilo as a means of comforting him. He couldn't escape. He watched in horror as Félix took it out of the package, and started to roll it over his hand. And yes, it was as HORRIFYING as it sounded.
"Now, since you're not...uhm...circumcised, you're going to have to roll it back so it fits properly for you, mijo."
He buried his face in his hands, trying not to scream- how LONG was this going to TAKE?
"Okay yeah got it, we can stop no-"
"Here, I have an extra one, practice on your arm."
"WHY DO YOU HAVE MORE THAN ONE?!"
Félix scoffed.
"You need a new one everytime you have sex, and have you SEEN your mami?"
"FÉLIX."
"W-HE ASKED!"
He thought he was going to be saved when his door opened. Maybe Dolores found pity on him, maybe Luisa could be his savior even. But no. It was Isabela.
"Hey uh, am I interrupting something?"
Félix's hand in a condom definitely looked weird, but Pepa shook her head.
"We were giving Camilo 'the talk'. Did you need something from him?"
He knew that smile on her face. The adults knew it as 'innocent and sweet'. Everyone else knew it as her plotting some shit. She walked in, holding a small box in her hands.
"I heard Camilo was having a rough time, so I thought I brought him something. Here, primo."
She set it on his bed, and he opened it. A big, thick slice of chocolate cake. Pepa and Fèlix 'awwwed', clearly not understanding the pure 'fuck you' energy Isa just brought into the room.
"Oh, our angel! Gracias Isa, you're so sweet! Camilo, say thank you."
Camilo just sat there, staring at the fucking thing. He was having fucking flashbacks, only being snapped out of it when Félix leaned over to smack his cheek a bit.
"Oye, pay attention. Say thank you."
Isabela sat there, smug as smug could get. He took an inhale, and faked a smile.
"Thank you. Isa."
"No problem. Continue, I'd hate to interrupt."
Félix and Pepa kissed her forehead before she left, before returning to Camilo.
"Now, let's circle back- we're going to have to figure out what size you are..."
Camilo wasn't listening anymore. He just stared at this piece of fucking cake. And tried not to associate it with his dad's.
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