#but then again when I do understand a character I feel for them and just fjnfnjfndkfntnf WHAT THE FUCK

[flowerandblood]

The Fall from the Heavens (25)

[ dark • Aemond x Strong • niece female ]

[ warnings: angst, tension, anxiety, a lot of half-truths ]

[ description: A cool distance turns into friendship and more when two children see that they can find refuge and understanding in each other. However, naïve dreams collide with the reality in which every event has consequences and what once could have been love becomes a dark, newly painful obsession. Angst, sexual tension, obsession, violence, madness, very dark Aemond. ]

The story in this series is an alternate reality from the oneshot Stay and love, leave and die, in which Aemond reads the letters his niece has sent to him over the years. They are the same characters and it shows what would have happened between them − I have changed the background story from their childhood slightly for the sake of the plot.

Characters & Series Moodboard Lady Strong Moodboard Aemond & Lady Strong Moodboard

Author note: For the purposes of this story, Lord Rodrik Arryn had a son and an heir, who in turn has a son of his own, to whom our Lady Strong was betrothed. I invented the lullaby in this chapter, so if you think it's weird, thank me, lol.

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

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After what he heard, he just vomited, unable to stop the convulsions that were squeezing his stomach, the rapid pounding of his heart or his terrified, ragged breathing. He could feel tears of despair and fear running down his cheeks as he coughed once more, panting heavily over the vessel − he felt like his whole body was twitching.

You will betray her at the moment she trusts you the most.

You will achieve victory, but she will never let you touch herself again.

You will put your child inside me, your bastard son, who will rule Harrenhal after our death.

He felt his stomach twist again in pain at the mere memory – he leaned over the bowl, feeling the gag reflex shake his body once more, but nothing left his throat.

He cried out loudly as if he were a small child, covering his face with his hand, leaning over the table, thinking about how much he needed his wife right now.

How much he wanted to snuggle between her soft, sweet breasts, to feel her smooth, warm hands stroking his hair, her heart beating beneath his cheek.

He drew in a loud breath, reminding himself that he had left her alone and that any moment spent in this disgusting place could have been her last; he reached for the cup of wine, rinsed his mouth a few times and spat the contents into the bowl, washing his face with fresh water, trying to calm himself.

This was part of their game, he thought, feeling his terror slowly begin to be replaced by fury.

He was sure Larys Strong had made her say it because he wanted him to believe that what was to come was destiny, not his and his grandfather's plan.

They wanted to manipulate him, to force him to leave her, to strip her of his protection, to destroy her.

No, he thought.

He was no longer a small child.

He left the fortress feeling that he had again unwittingly become the cold, empty stone he had been for eight years when she had not been with him, recognising that he had to keep a cool head.

He could not allow himself to be weak now.

He knew that if he just looked at her, if he just saw her face again and remembered what that woman had said to him he would simply burst into sobs, so to her disappointment he pretended not to see her.

The journey to the Eyrie, although spent in full sun and short, was unbearable for him and dragged on endlessly; he felt that waves of thoughts, suppositions and versions of events flowed through his mind one after another, causing complete chaos in his head.

What if Rhaenyra did not agree despite his lie?

What if she agrees, but demands the head of his grandfather and mother?

Whoever he was, his grandfather was his kin, his blood; all his life he had fought for them and their rights even if he himself often despised him.

How should he behave in such a situation so as not to let her down?

To fight? Declare war on them? Let her decide for herself once again which side she would stand on this time?

He pressed his forehead to the front of his saddle, clenching his hands on the ropes he held in his fist, feeling that he was descending into madness.

As they landed in the valley below the fortress he slid off his saddle, thinking that he had to share his plan with her, lest she accidentally say something herself that might destroy their credibility.

"− uncle −" She began, walking towards him, her face all pink and sweaty from exertion, unruly strands of her hair clinging to her skin.

His heart pounded harder.

You will come back here to face your nephew and you will take me, because you will decide that I am similar to her enough to satisfy your pain and longing.

You will put your child inside me, your bastard son, who will rule Harrenhal after our death.

He swallowed loudly, feeling that his vision was blank, his hands clenched into fists.

"− we'll tell them you're expecting my child −" He said coolly, sidestepping her, heading ahead, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible − he heard her draw in a loud breath as she moved immediately after him, terrified, trying to keep up with him.

"− what? − Aemond, we can't lie, not now −" She muttered, clearly terrified by this vision − he pressed his lips together into a thin line, furious that she was making this all even more difficult.

"− they must agree to our terms − I will not discuss my decisions with you −" He growled impatiently and stopped when her silhouette appeared in front of him – her palms slapped against his chest, a fury in her eyes that startled him.

"− you will − you don't know them as well as you do − Daemon can sense the lie, he will see it in your eyes − do you think that once they understand that you are manipulating them they will agree to whatever conditions you set for them? −" She asked with an irritation in her voice that he didn't like; he felt a cold sweat on his neck at the unbearable thought that she was partly right.

Fuck.

He stared at her for a moment, breathing heavily, feeling like he was about to faint, another disturbing thought flashed through his mind.

What had that whore said to her?

"− that fucking witch − what did she say to you? −" He asked uneasily, wanting to be sure she wasn't trying to manipulate his wife the way she was trying to manipulate him.

His Rheanys blinked rapidly and swallowed hard, as if his question made her uncomfortable − he felt an unpleasant twinge in his stomach at the sight.

"− that we should not return to Harrenhal − that I should watch out for myself and trust no one −" She muttered, and he felt his heart stop.

That we should not return to Harrenhal.

That I should watch out for myself and trust no one.

She warned her.

Why?

He felt that he understood absolutely none of this; the woman's behaviour seemed to make no sense to him, but that wasn't the worst of it.

The worst part was the thought that perhaps she really believed what she said.

That perhaps she really did see his betrayal and what he would do next in her dream or in the fire.

He stood watching her like a small, frightened child who was afraid to tell a parent that he had stolen and destroyed their favourite book unwillingly, who was afraid to admit his guilt for fear of punishment and what it entailed.

She must have seen what was happening to him in his gaze because she walked over to him and touched his upper arms, her scent, the smell of vanilla reached his nose.

"− husband, what happened? − if you have doubts, let's discuss everything − but please don't close yourself in the fortress of your mind −" She muttered pleadingly, her voice warm and calm, soothing, as if she understood that he was afraid.

That thought, the realisation that she knew him well enough that he couldn't hide from her what was happening inside him made him feel even worse.

He thought she would loathe him forever.

He swallowed hard as she cupped his cheeks between her hands and closed his eyes, feeling himself tremble all over, focusing only on her closeness.

"− uncle − look at me − I am your ally − I always have been −" She whispered tenderly making another wave of heat and fear surge through his body at the same time, causing something inside him to crack.

"You're your parents' child too. Just like me. What will you do when one of them demands the other's head?" He asked coldly, feeling his heart pounding like mad − he felt like he could hear in his ears the fast pumping of blood through his veins.

His wife furrowed her brows, shaking her head as if she did not understand what he had just said to her.

"− I will never agree to this − despite what your grandfather and your mother did to me, I will not agree for them to be harmed if you assure me to do the same − you know that I am not driven by revenge − and you? − you are the one who constantly doubts me, however, ever since I appeared in King's Landing you have been the one to let me down − yet I remain faithful to you − I chose you, uncle, when will you understand it? − when will you understand that there is no other way for me but by your side even if I come to burn? −"

She said in a trembling, angry, breaking voice from which a shiver ran down his back; he looked at her in disbelief feeling his body filled with guilt and shame.

You are the one who constantly doubts me, however, ever since I appeared in King's Landing you have been the one to let me down.

She was right.

She welcomed him with open arms despite the fact that he hadn't answered her letters for eight years; she didn't show him any kind of resentment, she didn't demand an apology from him, she lavished him with understanding and tenderness when he needed it, wanting to make things right.

It was he who betrayed her when Aegon became King.

It was his mother who forced her to drink the moon tea.

He was the one who made her try to take her own life.

He was the one who kept her locked up like a prisoner.

And yet, it was he who perpetually accused her in his head of the possibility of betrayal, as if he was just waiting for it.

For an excuse to decide that this was never going to succeed.

Despite this, she was now standing in front of him, being on his side, willing to fight alongside him for a future for them.

He felt a squeeze in his throat at this realisation, at the thought that there was never any other way for him than the one that would always lead him to her, to his beloved, to his friend.

To his Rheanys.

He lifted his hand, in some subconscious gesture of tenderness and closeness placing an unruly strand of her dark hair behind her ear, looking at her pretty face, at her bright, shining eyes, at her long lashes, at her swollen, moist lips − everything that belonged to him, that he could take every night.

He felt his manhood twitch in his breeches at the thought.

"Can I kiss you?" He heard her whisper and looked at her, seeing that she was staring at him exactly as she had then, that day when she had come to his chamber as a child, holding a small book clutched to her chest in her hands.

He leaned towards her without a word and closed his eyes, sighing in relief when her plump, soft lips pressed against his in a sweet, sticky kiss; she pulled away from him, stroking his cheeks and hair with her hands, but it wasn't enough for him.

"One more time."

He moaned into her mouth and locked her in the tight, strong embrace of his arms as her lips pressed against his again, this time as if she wanted to devour him, her wet, swollen lips sucking and licking him making him completely hard; he felt the lust, the hot feeling he shared with her shake his body as his eyes involuntarily filled with tears at the thought of what he had heard.

You will take me, because you will decide that I am similar to her enough to satisfy your pain and longing.

You will put your child inside me.

But he wanted her.

He wanted his childhood friend.

His lover, his companion, his joy.

She filled his heart with herself so much that there was no room in it for any Visenya.

"I love you." He muttered helplessly, feeling the words leave his throat without the participation of his free will. "I've always loved you."

He felt her gasp loudly at his words as her body trembled in his arms; his heart squeezed tight with pain as she wept quietly.

"− I feel that some weight has crushed you, my beloved − it covers you like a heavy black cloak − but I am by your side − I am with you − trust me − I know how to speak with them, I know them −" She mumbled out looking at him with a hot gaze full of affection from which he felt that nothing mattered anymore, that he couldn't fight himself or what only she could do.

He was completely helpless against her.

"− will you be by my side even when all is lost? − even if there is nothing left but darkness? −" He asked in a breaking voice, and she smiled, so sweetly, tenderly, joyfully that his hands clenched tighter on her body.

"− yes − don't go the path I could not follow − let me stay by your side − if I am to leave this world, I want to die in your arms −" She whispered softly, and he felt that it was over for him, that whatever he had been thinking about a moment ago, it didn't matter.

"− so be it − fall with me −" He breathed out, before his lips pressed greedily into hers, his fingers digging into the material of her leather coat enclosing her in his tight embrace, their tongues colliding with each other, licking with their soft sighs of pleasure.

He thought, panting hard into her throat, caressing her with a loud click of their saliva, that he could take her now, on the grass, in front of everyone, and fuck her so hard that the whole Eyrie would hear.

This, however, did not happen.

The sight of her would-be betrothed was the last thing he wanted to see − Ronnel Arryn seemed to him to be a boastful and self-obsessed man, focused only on the tonnage of his muscles and how he presented himself.

His grin full of mockery which he threw back at him, looking at the left side of his face made him involuntarily think how pleasant it would be to just slit his throat.

He remembered why they were actually there when they walked into the circular chamber where his uncle and half-sister were waiting for them − he pressed his lips into a thin line seeing that his sister-whore dared to wear his father's crown on her head.

He said nothing.

As his wife threw herself into her mother's arms, he glanced at Daemon; his uncle stood back leaning lazily against the wall, his chin lifted slightly in some sort of challenge, a lazy, mocking smirk on his face.

"Let's sit down." He heard his sister's voice at last, but he had no intention of obeying her orders; so he stood, looking at his uncle, who also had not moved from his place, stroking the handle of his Dark Sister thoughtfully.

"My husband has conveyed to me that my brother-usurper wants to pact over the succession of the throne he himself has unlawfully taken. I must admit that this is a quite ridiculous situation." Rheanrya began, and he rolled his eyes, feeling frustrated and impatient. His wife threw him a quick, frightened glance − he, however, just looked at her, letting her speak.

He decided that he would trust her.

His niece grunted loudly and looked at her mother, adjusting herself in her seat, tense.

"My uncle, Prince Aegon, had no choice. His mother is deeply convinced that her husband, my grandfather, and our King, revealed his final will to her before he died. She mentioned to my uncle about the Prince who was promised, about Aegon's dream. I think she misunderstood him, mother, I…" She paused as Rheanyra looked quickly in Daemon's direction − he and his wife exchanged quick, shocked glances between themselves.

He furrowed his brow, feeling discomfort in his pit, wondering what they knew that might have escaped his attention.

Her mother looked at her again, some strange glint in her gaze.

"Mother?"

"Aegon the Conqueror's Dream. A Song of Ice and Fire. This is the prophecy my father spoke to me about. Whatever Alicent heard, it did not apply to her firstborn son." She said in a trembling voice, as if it was obvious to her.

He felt rage at the thought that their father had shared with his daughter some prophecy, a future that was to befall their lineage, but did not consider them, his sons, worthy of the privilege.

Humiliation, shame and anger surged through his body making his words involuntarily leave his lips.

"You mean to say that our father only conveyed the contents of this prophecy to you, but you don't believe my mother that he could have passed on to her that he changed his mind regarding the succession?" He growled, his sister and uncle throwing him quick, warning glances.

"Calm down, nephew. You are speaking to the Queen." Daemon reminded him, and he looked at him with rage.

"She is not my Queen." He hissed, his hand sliding down to the hilt of his sword when he saw Daemon's fingers tighten around his Dark Sister.

"That's enough. We have met here because Aegon realises, as you do Mother, that his and your children's rights to the throne will be challenged, and the war will not end with your death." His wife interjected, startling him as did the rest of those gathered, his heart began to pound like mad.

What?

"Are you undermining Jace, my firstborn son's right to the throne?" Her mother asked in a trembling tone, clearly not believing what she was suggesting.

Her daughter drew in a loud breath and swallowed hard before answering her.

"He's a bastard, mother. Like me, Luke and Joffrey, he cannot inherit the throne. Will you cut off my tongue for those words? Will you deprive me of my head, father?"

He looked at her with his lips slightly parted, feeling that his mind was not yet able to comprehend fully what she had actually done.

She continued, however, as if the words were pouring out of her like a river.

"We just lie and lie and lie until in the end we ourselves don't know where the truth lies, but it is there somewhere, always, and sooner or later none of us will be able to deny it even if we beheaded all the men in the Seven Kingdoms."

He felt a surge of satisfaction and warm affection shake his body at her words, at her proof that she understood him, understood his pain, understood why her brothers could not be heirs to the throne.

How could he ever doubt her?

Her mother and stepfather seemed as shocked as he was, unable to get a word out.

"How dare you say such a thing? Your father, Laenor Velaryon, has recognised you and your brothers as his heirs. He gave you his name, he recognised you as his child in the eyes of the kingdom." Her mother muttered, clearly heartbroken that her own daughter was challenging her words.

"But the whole Kingdom knows, mother. Even if Jace were to sit on the throne after your death, his lineage will not be forgotten. Are you prepared to die knowing that neither he nor his children will ever be safe? That, like my uncle's coronation, his coronation would also be challenged by lords across the Kingdom?" She asked in pain, as if she herself could no longer bear what was happening, how far they had gone in pretending what was the truth and what was a lie.

He thought that he himself would not have put into words better what he thought and acknowledged with pride that his wife was a great speaker.

That even he would have hesitated and reconsidered what she had said if he had heard the arguments spoken in this way.

"I know what humiliation you experienced, mother, and how much suffering you endured. Believe me that I did too. I, too, do not believe my grandfather would change his mind on his deathbed. I did not and do not recognise Aegon as King, nor have I ever called him that or given him the honour he deserves.

However, if we do not find an agreement, war will break out not only in the Realm, but in our family. This is what King Viserys wanted to prevent at the last supper before his death. Mother, after all, you are siblings. Your brother, though a traitor, extends his hand, he is ready to relinquish the crown he stole from you."

An awkward silence fell; Rhaenyra looked over her shoulder at her husband, apparently seeking his advice. His uncle stared at her with clenched lips, clearly believing that she should fight for her rights no matter what − even at the cost of war.

His half-sister looked at her daughter again and swallowed hard.

"I can consider the terms my husband has conveyed to me, but I also have my conditions. I will agree that it is your children who will inherit the Iron Throne, and you will be named as ruler-regents only if there are two kings, and you will be one of them.

You and your husband will share the power of the Kingdom equally and neither of you will sit on the throne or wear the crown. Aegon the Conqueror's crown and my father's crown will be kept in the treasury.

In addition, my husband and I will sit on the Small Council, and deprived of their seats will be your grandfather and Alicent. In addition, Otto Hightower will be stripped of all other functions and privileges and will reside under our oversight in King's Landing.

Jace will inherit Dragonstone as my first-born son. If no male heir is born to you, the official heirs will be the children from my and my uncle's marriage, pureblood Targaryens."

He stared at her wide-eyed, feeling the cold sweat on his back, his heart pounding like mad as his mind tried to quickly analyse what he had heard.

I will agree that it is your children who will inherit the Iron Throne, and you will only become ruler-regent if there are two kings, and you will be one of them.

You and your husband will share power in the kingdom equally and neither of you will sit on the throne or wear the crown. Aegon the Conqueror's crown and my father's crown will be kept in the treasury.

She wanted the kingdom to be ruled by two kings.

She wanted him and her daughter to have the same title, the same privileges.

He saw his niece look at him, her eyes big with terror, filled with fear of how he would react.

No, he thought.

She was no longer her daughter.

She was no longer a bastard.

She was his wife.

When he had covered her shoulders with the cloak with his family crest she had officially taken his name, and who her father was no longer mattered.

Although he knew that the name her mother had given her was different, to him she was Rhaenys.

Rhaenys Targaryen.

His childhood friend, a woman he trusted, respected, loved, whose opinion and letters he had held deep in his heart for years, whom he would have consulted if he had become king-regent anyway.

The thought that she would stand by his side, that she would help him carry this burden, that she would be like a second, necessary pillar to support the whole crumbling structure that was their family, filled him, to his surprise, not with frustration but relief.

He nodded his head.

His wife sighed quietly, looking at him with hope, turning her gaze to her mother. Rhaenyra's eyes welled with tears of grief and sorrow as she nodded, sealing her decision.

She had agreed.

Gods, she agreed.

"Pass on my words to my brother. Let him know that this is not just about my pride, but about the welfare of the Kingdom and our family. That I respect my father's will and hope that he will do the same." She said dispassionately and he nodded, feeling his whole body quiver with emotion, his hands clasped behind his back clenched into fists.

"You are surely exhausted. My cousin has prepared chambers for you where you can rest to set off on your return journey as we will tomorrow morning. Let us have supper together. I have been separated from my one daughter for too long." She said matter-of-factly and he swallowed hard feeling that he had completely frozen.

No.

None of them could stay here.

He couldn't propose that they fly to King's Landing knowing that they would surely disagree, so in desperation he proposed something that shocked everyone, including himself.

"No." He said coolly. "We'll spend the night in Dragonstone."

His niece beamed all over, her cheek blushing with happiness, as if she didn't believe his words.

"Do you mean it?" She asked sweetly like a little child to whom he had just given a wonderful surprise.

He felt a squeeze in his throat at the thought.

"Yes." He replied calmly, glancing at his uncle, who was squinting, watching him intently. "As an expression of my goodwill."

Daemon tapped the tip of his tongue against the wall of his cheek and hummed under his breath, a tense silence fell between them.

His wife was right.

He had the feeling that his gaze was piercing him to the core.

He muttered under his breath and looked at his wife − Rhaenyra, like his niece, seemed shocked by his proposal, but also pleased at the prospect of her daughter returning to her family home, if only for a while.

"Well…I see no objection. Daemon?" She asked her husband, who looked at his daughter. Apparently, something in her pleading gaze made him decide to remain silent for the time being, as he merely nodded his head in wordless agreement.

He closed his eyes and sighed quietly in relief, feeling a huge stone fall from his heart.

He stepped back, allowing Rhaenyra to leave, just behind her the room left Daemon throwing him one vigilant, mocking look telling him that he knew there was something more behind his words.

His wife, however, overwhelmed by excitement and joy, seemed not to notice it − she ran to him and snuggled into him, clasping her hands on his back, his arms immediately enclosing her in a tight, secure embrace.

He hadn't betrayed her.

He would never betray her.

So why did he feel so guilty?

"There are no words in which I can describe my gratitude to you. "She whispered, burying her face in his chest; he sighed heavily, pressing his lips to the top of her head, stroking her soft hair and neck with his fingers.

"I'm proud of you." He said calmly wanting her to know that he admired what she had done, the calmness in which she had presented his side's reasons while showing understanding and respect for her mother's rights and heritage.

He thanked the gods that he knew when to shut his mouth.

She looked at him and smiled shyly, as if his words surprised and embarrassed her. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him, pressing her soft lips to his, and he murmured low, feeling a tightness in his throat.

He should tell her, he thought with pain, but he didn't know how.

He didn't want to spoil this beautiful moment.

So he kept silent, but the guilt, the fact that he was hiding something from her, pressed down on his shoulders like a huge burden, through which he could experience neither relief nor satisfaction that Rhaenyra had agreed to their terms.

He never expected to fly through the skies beside Larax, Caraxes and Syrax, to ever see Dragonstone, to propose a journey there of his own accord.

He felt shame filling him.

As he and his wife stepped inside their fortress, where their children were already waiting for them, an awkward silence ensued. Jace and Luke stood behind a large stone table that resembled the shape of all of Westeros, looking at him in disbelief and horror. He shuddered when he saw that Rhaena was the first to rush ahead, sidestepping him and her father, enclosing his wife in a sincere, tender embrace.

"I'm so happy you're alive." She muttered in a breaking voice – his niece stroked her back with a smile.

"Me too." He heard her whisper.

After a moment, Baela joined them, throwing him a cold, warning glance along the way, from which he only rolled his eyes. He looked again at Luke, who swallowed hard and lowered his gaze, clearly unable to bear his presence.

He felt disgusted at the sight of them, two boys with cheeks flushed from shame, who knew full well that they did not and should not have any claim to the throne.

He grinned involuntarily at the thought, seeing how pale Jace was, that he understood for certain that their presence meant he would officially cease to be his mother's heir.

Satisfaction as sweet as poison coursed through his veins at the thought.

Jace drew in a breath at the sight of his grimace, his hands clenched into fists as if he felt like lashing out at him − he flinched when Daemon stepped in front of him, standing between them and shook his head.

Jace swallowed hard, furious, lowering his gaze to the stone floor beneath his feet.

None of them came up to greet his niece; only little Joffrey ran up to her and burst into tears screaming that she had left them alone.

They resented her for the side she had chosen in their minds.

She was the only reason they were both still alive, he thought with a sneer.

His half-sister, seeing the look on his face and sensing the tension that reigned around them, decided to take pity on them and suggested that they make themselves comfortable in the chamber that had previously belonged to his wife.

He accepted her words with relief.

As they stepped inside he felt a squeeze in his throat − her quarters were modest, filled with her scent, the windows of her room facing the open sea, the sound of which he could clearly hear. He walked deeper in, looking around her chests of drawers and wardrobes, her wooden bookcases filled to the brim with books, before his gaze finally settled on an ornate oak desk.

He swallowed hard imagining her seated figure bent over parchment.

"− is this here? −" He asked casually, running his fingers over the table top, noticing with a pained heart that it was dusty.

A sign of how long she had not been here.

His niece looked at him surprised and blushed, as if the mere mention embarrassed her.

"− yes −"

He sat down in the chair she sat in every time she wished to convey her thoughts to him, to put them on paper, which then flew all the way to King's Landing to reach his hands. He glanced towards the windows, wondering how many times she had deliberated on choosing the right words while observing exactly the same view.

He thought he was touched.

"− we should rest, husband − if that's what you wish, we'll have supper alone −" She said softly, her voice trembling with excitement and joy.

She couldn't believe she was home again.

He nodded, not knowing what more he could answer.

He had felt the tension all evening; his wife had shown him various books she had read over the years, which she had told him about in her letters. He tried to listen to her and nod, stroking her arm with the tips of his fingers as she sat beside him, flicking through page after page of one of the volumes, looking for the quote she had mentioned to him. Her question pulled him out of his musings.

"− uncle − will you tell me what troubles you? −"

He looked at her horrified and swallowed with difficulty − he only grunted, not knowing what he should answer like a child caught in the act.

"I'm tired." He replied acknowledging that this was partly true. She nodded in understanding, he closed his eyelids as her hand gently stroked his cheek.

"Let's go to bed."

He wasn't going to fight her.

He wanted to leave this place as soon as possible and get away from Daemon's disturbing gaze.

His wife pressed her lips together, seeing that he had put a dagger under his pillow before he lay down − however, she said nothing, knowing he might trust her, but certainly not her family.

He lay down beside her, sighing heavily, and closed his eyes, figuring that perhaps when he woke up the next day and realised that tragedy had been avoided due to his decision, his conscience would have a little more mercy for him.

He murmured contentedly as he felt her arms embrace him, cuddling his face between her breasts, the warmth of her body, her scent filling his entire lungs. He tightened his hands on her back, trying to focus only on the touch of her hands, on her fingers combing gently through his hair, on the lullaby she hummed softly under her breath, and from which his eyelids grew heavier and heavier.

When the moon rises

over the dark sky

When you hear from afar

my bitter cry

Know that I long

Know that I long

Know that I long

When the sun rises

over the bright sky

When you hear from afar

my joyful cry

Know that I'm home

Know that I'm home

Know that I'm home

And then sleep fell over him.

His lips clung to her soft, long neck, sweaty from exertion, heavy, drawn-out sighs full of pleasure left his lips as his hips with sure, deep, quick thrusts pounded again and again into her hot, fleshy interior.

"− forgive me − I've missed you − oh, my sweetest −" He breathed out, quickening his pace, sinking his nose into her dark curls, her moans muffled by the pillow she was cuddling her face into. Her body, though different, was just as warm, her scent, though different, was similar to hers.

It didn't matter to him, because she was there for him, because she had forgiven him.

"− I love you − oh fuck, Rhaenys −" He muttered, clenching his eyes, coming inside her at last, experiencing such immense relief that he cursed for another moment, rocking his hips inside her. He swallowed hard, worried that she wasn't saying anything, his fingers took strands of her hair from her face wanting to see her eyes and then he saw it.

Green irises, luscious as grass.

"− is it true? − is she carrying your child? −" He heard her voice as if from afar and suddenly he was standing in front of her in his chamber in King's Landing, feeling his heart pounding like mad, a cold sweat running down his back.

He felt a strong gag reflex and held it back with the remnants of his strong will.

He couldn't get anything out of himself.

What had he done?

"− answer me − is she carrying your child? −" His wife, his Rhaenys muttered in a voice breaking with pain and despair, her cheeks red from tears, her eyebrows arched in rage, in her gaze something he feared most.

Disgust.

"− I − I don't know −" He mumbled, trying to remember what had actually happened, how he could have done it when, after all, he had promised himself it would never, never happen.

He thought about how he hadn't touched her in so long, how he had missed her so much.

When she discovered that he had hidden the truth from her, what his grandfather had planned, that he knew what could have happened to them in the Eyrie but hadn't told her, she hadn't slept in his chamber, hadn't eaten supper with him, hadn't spoken to him or looked at him even though he had tried so hard to please her.

"− don't you know? − don't you know if you put your bastard inside her? −" She mumbled and burst out into a loud, miserable sob, hiding her face in her hands − he looked at her, panting hard, shaking all over, not knowing what he was supposed to say, what he was supposed to do.

"− HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!? −" She almost screamed, falling to her knees as if without strength, whining loudly like some kind of animal, her whole being trembling and twitching in convulsions − he approached her quickly, kneeling beside her, trying to touch her, but she pushed him away.

"− my beloved − please − I was possessed by madness, I swear − I − I thought it was you −" He muttered, not knowing how he could explain such a betrayal, such humiliation she suffered because of him.

"− you thought it was me? − you fucked another woman and thought it was me? − gods, Aemond, don't touch me! − don't touch me −" She howled, her voice at once enraged, full of pain, suffering and grief, her eyes red with tears, her whole body quivering.

He was the reason for this.

He had done this to her.

"− my Prince − my Prince, quickly, your wife! −" He heard someone shout – he shuddered as he sat by the fireplace, gazing in horror at the figure of the guard who had rushed into his chamber.

As he stepped out into the corridor he heard someone's loud sobs and screams tearing at his heart; as he ran inside he froze noticing the figure of Rheaenyra kneeling on the floor, covering her mouth with her hand − his wife, and her daughter, was hanging from a rope tied to the frame of her bed, which was tightened around her neck, her dark hair covering her bowed head, her feet not touching the floor.

He ran to her trying to lift her, trying to pull her down, but he knew, felt, that it was too late, her body cold, numb, empty.

His face sank into her flesh covered only by the material of her nightgown muffling his loud, desperate scream.

"Uncle! Uncle, please, wake up!"

He opened his eyes and pulled himself up to sit down, panting heavily, feeling his heart pounding like mad – he could see nothing through the tears that one by one ran down his face, his body twitching all over in convulsions as if it had gone into a state of absolute panic.

"− easy, my love − breathe −" He heard someone's voice beside him, her voice – he looked at her as if he didn't recognise her, her eyes wide in terror, her hand stroking his shoulder reassuringly.

"− Rhaenys − Rhaenys −" He mumbled out like a small child calling out to its mother, bursting into sobs of relief and terror that shook his body − he snuggled into her breast, clasping his fingers on her back so tightly that she hissed in pain – however, she did not push him away and her arms enclosed him in a tight, secure embrace.

"− I'm here, my love − I'm here −" She whispered, again and again placing warm, moist kisses on the top of his head, combing her fingers through his hair.

For a moment he merely wept and quivered, unable to catch his breath, trying to calm himself, listening to her whisper, breathing in her scent, enjoying her closeness, the touch of her hand.

It seemed to him that it was hours before he began to breathe normally, before he realised that all he had seen was just a nightmare, that he was lying with his wife in her bed in Dragonstone.

That all was not yet lost.

He swallowed hard and clenched his eyes shut.

"− there's something − there's something I want to tell you −"

#aemond fic #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen #hotd aemond #aemond angst #canon aemond #aemond fanfic #aemond one eye #aemond #prince aemond #prince aemond targaryen #aemond smut #aemond x oc #aemond x female #aemond x niece #aemond x wife #ewan mitchell #ewan nation #ewanverse #ewan mitchell fanfic #ewan mitchell fanfiction #ewan mitchell angst #hotd fandom #hotd fanfic #hotd fanficition #hotd fic #house of the dragon #aemond targaryen smut #aemond targaryen angst #dark aemond

[lowkeyed1]

my friend's putting out her debut novel, and it's available for ebook pre-order (print edition forthcoming)... i was lucky enough to get to read an advance so i'm gonna put the summary below the jump an also my own ravings about it. short version, i really recommend it -- it's a space adventure, a moving meditation on grieving, and chock full of lesbian rep.

summary: After pirates kill her three crewmates, Sam decides it's time to sell her ship and get out of the space business altogether. She hasn’t got a clue what she’ll do instead, but anything’s got to be better than captaining a kraken-class cargo cruiser haunted by the memories of her friends. The problem is, just when Sam’s supposed to be meeting a buyer, she finds herself enacting a rescue instead. Of a woman who might be an entirely different kind of problem. Kate knows what it’s like to lose someone. But having lived her entire life on planet, she can’t understand why Sam would want to sell her escape to the stars. It feels like incredibly good luck when the slightly surly captain agrees to assemble a new crew take her up for one final job. But when they end up kidnapped by a space mobster and forced to track down the same pirates that killed Sam’s crew, it’s starting to look like retirement might be permanent for them both. my rant: okay. sam. i love sam so much. she's repressing and trying to stay distant, trying to stay self-contained, full of loss and fear of further pain. circumstances force her into all the situations she wants to most avoid and she slowly, despite herself, ends up engaging again. it's like watching a beautiful, very grumpy flower unfold and soak up the rain and it just moves me so freaking much. the adventure is compelling and exciting and twists and turns throughout some amazing futuristic locales. i don't want to give away too much plot but it's fun and suspenseful and the side characters are also really interesting. i loved this so much i read it in every spare minute over two days, because i had to know what happened next. i love when a book grabs me like that :) preorder link!

reblogs appreciated <3 <3 <3

#science fiction #authors on tumblr #the ship #c.e. ricketts

[aimbutmiss]

I just came across a zosan post about Zoro on wci (again) and I have to say, you guys need to be realistic.

I love zosan, I really do, but Zoro on whole cake would have been a DISASTER. He wouldn't add anything to the story—he'd make things worse if anything. Zoro's not a trusting man, and he always puts the captain first. There's already so much tension between the two; even though they do actually like eachother do you really think Zoro has the emotional capacity to be considerate in that scenario??? Absolutely not. They would 100% end up fighting which would just complicate everything.

If anyone else should have been there, it's people who'd understand where he's coming from. People who've struggled with feeling like unnecessary weight to the crew and left because of it. Yes I'm talking about Robin and Usopp. Water 7 and Enies Lobby are arcs that make Sanji really shine in the crew as the one always chasing after the ones leaving, so wci paralleling that would have been absolutely perfect. (This has been said a lot before but it's TRUE and I will defend it to the end)

If you truly love zosan, maybe focus on scenes they already have??? Or things that actually could have happened—like, them reuniting on Wano after wci has a lot of angst potential. And it's a much better scenario than Zoro actually being on wci in my humble opinion. It just works so much better with their characters...

Take the personalities of characters into account when you're making ship content. Fanon only thrives when it's built on canon.

#that post had a lot of likes too and it pissed me off so bad #maybe I'm overreacting idk #I just think you can ship two characters without obliterating their characters #one piece #zosan #roronoa zoro #black leg sanji #usopp #nico robin #whole cake island

[trillscienceofficer]

I've been crediting the way Chakotay dismisses B'Elanna's vision in “Barge of the Dead” mostly to the events of “The Fight” and how Chakotay was (understandably) afraid of the barrage of images from the depths of his mind, and how this fed into the fears he has about his grandfather's condition and his own predisposition to it. As a result, he is more diffident about helping other people assigning meaning to their visions, not trusting himself as he used to any longer. After rewatching “Mortal Coil” though I think Chakotay is, also understandably, very wary of validating anyone's mystical experiences (or lack thereof) surrounding death, because one such experience very nearly brought Neelix to suicide and Chakotay almost didn't realize it in time. The way B'Elanna's talks about her own vision can't not recall what Neelix went through, in Chakotay's mind; B'Elanna almost died, and now she feels like she needs to die again. Add to this the history B'Elanna has with self-harm and unnecessary risk-taking behavior from “Extreme Risk”, a history that Chakotay knows all too well, and his mind is made up. He cannot allow this to happen on his watch, especially not to B'Elanna, so he dismisses her recollection of the vision, he downplays it even if it comes across as him not accepting B'Elanna's culturally-informed perspective on her own experiences. In short, I think a mix of fear and guilt is what makes Chakotay unable to appreciate the difference between Neelix' nihilism and his loss of purpose and B'Elanna's longing for meaning and closure through ritual.

I don't think the Voyager writers thought this through as much as I am here, mind you. They likely just had Chakotay play the 'voice of reason' because they couldn't have Janeway doing it, or the parallelism between B'Elanna finding peace with (the memory of) her mother and B'Elanna's acceptance of Janeway's trust would have collapsed, making the episode less incisive. (We can also talk about how yet again the show paints Janeway as a mother figure, in my opinion the lowest-hanging fruit possible, but I digress.) That it sort of contradicts Chakotay's pre-established characterization and background was likely not a big consideration, which is unfortunate. However if we don't take the 'reset button' for granted, this behavior from Chakotay can be taken a sign of the way he changed throughout the show, even it's sort of negative character development. He's more afraid, and more rigid in his understanding of others than at the beginning of the journey, especially when it comes to B'Elanna. The years of survival on Voyager have taken a toll on him. I obviously still think he was wrong to dismiss B'Elanna and that the show needed to handle that conversation between them with a lot more care for both characters, but keeping “Mortal Coil” and “Extreme Risk” in mind definitely helps with lessening the sting of a scene that otherwise seems to come out of nowhere.

#ep: barge of the dead #chakotay #b'elanna torres #neelix #voy #suicide mention #self-harm mention #<- normal show that makes me write these tags in multiple posts #get closer i promise i'll be having just a regular amount of thoughts about this episode :)

[mothandpidgeon]

The Outlaws (outlaw!Joel Miller x f!reader) - Chapter 3

Moth's Masterlist - follow @mothandpidgeon-updates an turn on notifications so stay updated with my fics!

SERIES MASTERLIST

pairing: Outlaw!Joel Miller x f!reader

rating: E (18+ MDNI)

wc: 3.2k

summary: Wanted for murder with a bounty on your head, your only hope of escaping the Pinkerton detectives is an outlaw named Joel Miller and his sidekick Ellie. But Joel has other plans for you.

tags: old west au, enemies to lovers, grumpy Joel, handcuffed together, only one bed, riding a horse together, one mention of pee, hand touching, strip tease I guess, Tommy and Maria, morally grey characters, reader has backstory, moth never uses y/n

authors note: Been holding onto this chapter since I haven't finished the next one but I really want to share this with you! Thank you @ezrasbirdie for beta and helping me untangle this mess and being the wind beneath my wings.

There are six links in the chain that separate you from Joel Miller. You count them over and over again. As you lay awake by the dying campfire. When he rattles them just after dawn to rouse you from the sleep you’d finally fallen into. While you drink the rancid coffee he boils over the fire.

You imagine them leaving an imprint on Joel’s tanned neck. Red, purple, bruising his skin as you use it to choke him to death.  

You spend the morning following him to and fro as he and Ellie pack up camp. 

“You know how to whistle?” Ellie asks you. 

She’s been sticking her forefinger and thumb between her lips trying to get a sound out of them. 

“Afraid not,” you tell her. 

“You’re with me,” Joel says. He stands beside his horse, hand on his hip. 

“I have to wear this damn bracelet the whole way?” you ask. 

He nods. 

“Do you think I’m crazy enough I’d jump off a horse?” you ask. 

His eyes rake up and down your body and you try to ignore the heat that flashes across your skin. “Yep.”

Once he’s in the saddle, he hauls you up behind him. Not like you have much choice. 

“You go for my gun and—“

“I know, I know,” you tell him. 

You have ample opportunity to study the outlaw, at least the back side of him, as you ride behind him. He’s broad and sits tall in the saddle like he was born for it. You watch his shoulders under the fabric of his shirt, tempted to smooth your palms over them. With your wrists connected, you’ve got to keep your hands at his middle. His narrow hips roll with the movements of the animal beneath him, and you grip onto his shirt imagining how powerful it would feel to take him from behind. 

He barely acknowledges you. There are a couple of times when you rest your cheek against his back just because you know it’ll annoy him. It works. He looks over his shoulder at you and you can hear the grumble vibrate through his body. 

The three of you ride all day, stopping only twice to stretch your legs. Both times, Joel helps you down with his hands on your waist. You shouldn’t enjoy it as much as you do but his hands are big and his eyes dart away from yours. He stops touching you as quick as he can, as if you’re a hot kettle that might burn his fingers.

Your amusement is short lived as you have to suffer the indignity of squatting behind a bush with your arm outstretched towards fucking Joel Miller while you take a piss. 

It’s dusk when you reach your destination— an old two-story roadhouse with a sign that reads The Dusty Boot. There’s nothing else around but a barn, an outhouse, and open country. Seems like an ideal place to keep a hideout. 

Joel hands you down from the saddle again but before you head inside, he rounds on you. 

“Now listen here, missy,” he says. “When we go in there, you keep that trap shut. No talking about bounties or the like. Not a peep out of you. Understand?” Joel asks you. 

You twist your pinched fingers in front of your lips as if you’re locking your mouth the same as your wrist is locked in that cuff. It’s a command you have absolutely no intention of following. 

By the frown on his face, it seems he knows that. 

“And you let me do the talking,” he tells Ellie. 

“Maria’s got a stick up her ass,” she laughs. 

“Ellie,” Joel scolds. 

“You said it yourself!” she says.

Joel sighs and trudges forward, dragging you along with him. 

The inside of the Boot is cozy and rustic. There’s a large parlor with a number of tables, the paneled walls are decorated with antlers and horse shoes. After a full day bouncing on horseback, you’d love to sit your ass down in one of the winged back chairs in front of the fireplace. Most importantly for your new companions, the place is empty. If there are other guests, they’re up in their rooms. 

At one end of the room, a man in an apron with a rag thrown over his shoulder stands behind a modest bar. 

“Hey, brother!” he calls, a smile lighting his face. 

You can see a resemblance between the two men– the same dark eyes and tan complexion, though Joel’s has been kissed by the sun.

“Tommy?” you whisper to Ellie. 

She nods. 

Tommy’s as slim as Joel is broad and he looks a bit younger. If Joel ever bothered to smile maybe he’d lose a few years off his face, too. 

“Been a while, stranger,” he says. “How’s it going, kid? Still giving him hell?”

“We need a place to lay low for a bit,” Joel says, cutting the pleasantries. 

You’re not sure if Tommy’s disappointed that this isn’t a social call but he nods and says, “Yeah, alright. You gonna introduce me to your lady friend?”

Joel bristles at the suggestion that you might be anything other than his prisoner. You give a smile and lift your fingers to your brow as if to tip your hat. As you do, the chain rattles obnoxiously and Joel glares at you.

“What the hell, Joel!” Tommy’s jovial expression has transformed to a look of horror.

“She’s got a bounty on her. I’m taking her to Jackson,” Joel explains. 

“Maria ain’t gonna be happy about that,” Tommy says. 

“Isn’t going be happy about what?” 

A lean woman has appeared at the top of the stairs. She stands tall, shoulders back with a cool air. Her simple, grey dress is neat and spotless just like, you note, the room around you. 

Joel quickly takes his hat off. He nudges Ellie to do the same. He’s tense and you can’t tell if he resents this woman or he’s afraid of her. Maybe a little of both. 

You like her. 

She sighs heavily as she descends the steps. 

“Tommy, please tell me I’m seeing things because it looks to me like your brother has a woman shackled to himself in my parlor,” she says. 

“You ain’t,” Tommy replies. He sounds just as exasperated. 

Maria sizes you up with a look that’s half pity, half disdain. She’s a beautiful woman. Deep brown skin and sharp, appraising eyes. You can only imagine what she thinks of you. A night sleeping in the dirt can’t have done you any favors and certainly neither did a day bouncing around on horseback. 

“How’d she get that bruise, Joel?” Maria asks.

You stroke the spot on your face gently as though it really hurts. In truth, you’ve pretty much forgotten that it’s there.

“She came by it on her own,” Joel says.

“That true, darlin’?” Tommy asks you, his voice full of concern. 

Joel’s face contorts in what you can only describe as disgust that his brother would think him capable of such a thing.

You give a noncommittal shrug.

“That’s courtesy of the Pinkerton man she was with before we picked her up. Joel gave him what for,” Ellie explains.

Tommy nods. 

“We’re just wanting a couple nights to keep our heads down. Ain’t nothing we ain’t asked for before,” Joel says.  

“That’s fine. If you unlock her,” Maria says. 

“She’s a murderer. You want me to let her loose around your nice customers?” Joel asks. 

“I’ve already got three criminals in here. What’s one more?” she says. 

“Come on, Joel. Let her be,” Tommy says. “She ain’t gonna give you the slip. Are you, darlin’?”

“Well, if given the opportunity—“ you admit. 

“Joel, take that damn cuff off her. And you,” Maria turns on you, “give him your word you won’t try to run while you’re under this roof. Or so help me god I will throw all three of you out.”

“The hell did I do?” Ellie asks. 

You’re beginning to understand why you sensed fear on Joel. For a second there, you’re more afraid of enduring her wrath than you are facing the executioner. 

“Yes, ma’am,” you say almost involuntarily. 

“Shake on it,” Tommy suggests. 

You extend your hand to Joel with a saccharine smile. Tommy’s obviously gone soft since he left the gang if he believes somebody like you would be beholden to a handshake promise. It’s sweetly naive. 

Joel’s thinking the same thing. You can see it all over his face. He grinds his molars. 

“You do what I say when I say it,” he insists. 

“Sure thing, boss,” you say. 

He shakes your hand.

Joel watches your every move. 

He’s been wanting to get Tommy aside to talk but he doesn’t dare to take his eyes off you. You’re unleashed and eager to run and he’s not willing to lose his bounty just because his sister-in-law is so sanctimonious.

“Hey, Tommy. Why did the cowboy go to the doctor?” Ellie asks.

Evening has descended on the Boot. A stage coach pulls in for the night. Its two passengers take their supper at the bar while their driver warms his hands at the hearth. Ellie and Joel sit across from you in the corner, bowls of hot stew on the table. Hers is empty before Joel’s even managed to bring his spoon to his lips. 

Joel notices things about you. He wishes he would stop noticing how attractive you are. 

Your eyes are sharp and fast. He can tell you’re making note of anything and everything that might help you escape. You massage at your wrist which is now naked with delicate fingers. You lick your lips jealously when Tommy sets a whiskey down in front of his brother. 

You don’t have good table manners. The way you stab at potatoes is particularly violent. You probably wish those tines were going into his eyeball.

“How come?” Tommy asks. He wipes his hands with his bar rag, eyes twinkling with delight. 

“He was feeling a little hoarse!” Ellie cackles. 

Joel shakes his head. The kid is a handful but she’s grown on him. Her puns have not. 

He looks up to find you smirking. Not because you find the joke funny. No, you’re laughing at Joel. 

He reaches across the table and puts his hand around yours. He shouldn’t touch you again, not since he shook your hand and felt the softness of your skin on his. He spent all day with you practically pressed against his back, getting hints of lavender each time he turned his head in your direction. Such a sweet scent for somebody like you. It’s been a long time since he felt the weight of a woman on him. His body doesn’t know that you’re as dangerous as a mountain lion and slippery as an eel. It just cares that you’re pretty and you’re closer than you ought to be. And it wants more of that. 

Your muscles tense around the horn handle of your fork. Joel unwraps your fingers from the utensil, focusing on the task at hand not the feel of you under his fingertips or the wide eyed stare you give him. His heart is beating double time when he replaces your pointed fork with a spoon. 

Your shoulders soften when he releases you. You remind yourself to sit up straight. 

“Enough jokes,” Joel tells Ellie.

“He ain’t no fun,” Tommy laughs. 

You continue to keep your big eyes on Joel as you finish your stew. 

“That was good eating Miss Maria,” you say when she clears bowls from the table. “I don’t rightly remember the last time I had a proper meal.” 

You’re a fool if you think you’ve got an ally in Maria. Just because she got you unlocked doesn’t mean she thinks you’re anything better than trash. Her daddy was a justice of the peace and she’s never taken kindly to criminals either. It still vexed him that she’d fallen for Tommy but then again she blamed Joel for all of his brother’s failings. 

“I know a thing or two about cooking. I’d be happy to lend a hand,” you tell her. 

Joel lets out a sharp laugh. Your voice is sweeter than Joel’s heard and you're laying it on thick buttering Maria up. 

“What’s funny about that?” you demand. 

“You don’t know a thing about cooking but I’m sure you’d like to get a knife in your hand,” Joel says. 

“As a matter of fact, I do know how to cook. More than cowboy beans,” you spit. 

“I appreciate the offer. It'd be nice to get a hand in the kitchen for once,” Maria says probably just to get a rise out of him. 

“That’s too bad. I ain’t letting you out of my sight,” he says. 

He stands, stretching out the sore muscles in his lower back. 

“Got the front room for ya,” Tommy says. “I’m guessing you’re not looking to sleep in the common room.” He glances towards the other guests. 

Joel and Ellie have stayed amongst the strangers in the big room on the second floor when the rest of the private accommodations are taken. With you ready to bolt, though, it’s not an option. 

“I want my own room. Take it out of my share,” Ellie tells Joel when he gives her a stern look. “I’m sick of listening to you snore.”

“That’s a wonderful idea,” Maria says. 

Despite her contempt for their criminal lifestyle, Maria dotes on Ellie. Like she’s leaving a saucer of milk out for a feral cat, hoping one day it’ll come inside to lay by the fire. “Tommy’ll set that up for you.”

“I’ll bunk with the kid,” you say. 

“Nice try,” Joel says. 

“Ain’t this cozy,” you say. 

You’ve stepped into the room you’ll be sharing with Joel. 

Cozy’s one way of putting it. There’s barely enough space to open the door without hitting the iron framed bed. Beside that is a night stand with a porcelain wash basin, a chair, and a window. There’s about two paces of open floor in either direction. It’s hardly big enough for the both of you. 

But that works to Joel’s advantage. He doesn’t want you going far. 

As soon as the door shuts behind him, he clamps the handcuff around your wrist once again. 

“Come on now,” you whine. “What about our truce?”

“That’s for Maria’s benefit. And she ain’t here,” Joel says. 

You’re well beyond arguing and rolling your eyes. 

“Well you can’t expect me to sleep in these dirty clothes again. Can you at least give me my arm for a minute so I can get out of ‘em?” you ask.

Joel’s eyes travel over you and he swirls his tongue over his teeth. It’s not a difficult decision for him. If you want to undress and lay in bed in your underthings, he’s not going to stop you. He unlocks the cuff and moseys over to lean against the door. You’re not going to run out of there.

“You going to stand there and watch?” you ask, fingers pausing at the buttons on the top of your bodice.

Joel presses his shoulders against the door, making himself comfortable.

“How do I know you ain’t got a weapon in them petticoats?” he asks.

“If there was, you’d already be dead,” you say. 

He lets out a chuckle. 

“Suit yourself,” you say.

A cool smile comes over your features. You continue undoing the buttons as you turn towards him so he can see you straight on. Slowly, you reveal what’s underneath– the lines of your corset, a sweet ribbon at the top of your chemise, and an expanse of decolletage. You slide the bodice off of your shoulders and toss it onto the floor, then continue on to your skirts.

“That brother of yours is handsome,” you tell him. One skirt falls away. “Did he leave you for that woman or she come after that?”

Joel doesn’t answer. You don’t seem to care.

“She don’t like you,” you tease.

You square him with defiant eyes, inviting him to look, daring him to stay in control. More flesh is revealed. Your blue corset presses the swell of your breasts above the chemise and you bend forward to give him a little show. Ripe, soft. He salivates. 

Joel tries not to enjoy himself too much. He shouldn’t. And not just because this could easily turn into a trap. 

“She don’t like you neither,” he says.

You shrug.

He could have you any which way he wanted with just the promise of letting you go. He wouldn’t even have to do it. Just say the word and you’d get on your knees for him. It doesn’t feel right, though, taking advantage of somebody so desperate. So he just watches, trying to keep his features indifferent as each piece of frilly fabric hits the floorboards. He hooks his thumb into his gun belt, hoping that it might obscure the growing strain in his dungarees.

By the time you’re undoing the metal fasteners at the front of your corset, he’s biting down on the inside of his cheek. He tastes blood when there’s nothing more separating him from your body than a gauzy chemise and cotton drawers.

You go to the wash basin and splash water on your face and neck. Some droplets fall and make your chemise cling to your damp skin.Y ou moan happily, refreshed. The noise is obviously exaggerated but it still makes Joel ache.

You linger like that for a moment, lazily swaying your bare shoulders. Finally, you step towards Joel, crowding him against the door. The space between the two of you is hot and his breath shallows. He can see the outline of your peaked nipples beneath the flimsy material. The thought passes his mind again, how easy it would be to toss you back onto the mattress and help himself to all of you.

You raise your hand to him and for a moment, he’s forgotten what’s going on here. The sly grin on your lips tells him that you’re well aware of the effect your nearly naked body is having on him. He swallows and slips the cuff around you again. His knuckles graze the inside of your wrist as he locks it. Delicate, warm skin.

Pleased with yourself, you crawl onto the bed. Joel wills his cock to behave as he slips out of his boots and coat. He soaks his bandana in the wash basin and cools the back of his neck. Once he’s in his union suit, he sets his holster down on the floor beside his pillow and swings his legs into the bed. He locks himself to you and tucks the key next to his gun.

“Well ain’t this romantic,” you say from your spot against the wall. “Feels like my wedding night all over again.”

Joel stares at the ceiling. The bed’s a tight fit, his shoulders touch yours when he lays on his back. You’re leaned on your elbow smiling like the cat that ate the canary. He smells that lavender again. 

He rolls onto his side, away from your leering. You laugh to yourself as he squeezes his eyes shut for a very long night.

Comments and reblogs always appreciated!

Chapter 4

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#outlaw!Joel Miller #joel miller #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fic #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character #ellie williams #tommy miller #maria tlou #tlou

[kaylatoonz]

Amelia Rose Thorndyke (movie Amy Rose)

I know there’s a slim chance of this happening but I think it would be interesting if they gave the human characters from Sonic X another chance, the Thorndyke to be more specific.

Context: (probably take place in movie 3)

Backstory- Just like in the show, Chris is a pretty lonely kid until Amy Rose crashes into his life 6-7 years ago (literally crashing into their family pool). After a late-night rescue, Chris takes in the small pink hedgehog to make sure it’s OK. Chris originally wanted to keep Amy a secret but those plans ruined the very next morning when Chuck, Ella, and Mr. Tanaka discovered her when Chris was trying to find food suitable for the little pink hedgehog. They were a bit skeptical at first, but after some convincing from Chris’s end was allowed to stay until he could confront his parents about it. Chris was concerned that their growing friendship would be cut short once his parents returned, luckily Amy managed to warm her way into the hearts of everyone in the household, even his parents and uncle. Years later Amy Rose is considered a part of the family and is spoiled with love thanks to Lindsey and Ella. Over the years Amy was able to chase away Chris’s loneliness but unfortunately not her own. Although Amy spends much of her time with Chris and her family, she feels isolated from the outside world. She understands the rules set by Mr. And Mrs.Thorndyke to never go outside to keep her safe, but she still can’t help but feel sad that she can’t meet anyone new or someone like her.

Those feelings come to an end when a shocking new cast reveals three beings that were like her, the blue hedgehog the most. The second the story was over Amy rushed over to her parents begging them to take her to green hikes to meet these heroes. They immediately shoot down the idea, saying it’s too dangerous, and it could be a trap. This leads to a heated argument between the three ending with Amy being grounded until further notice. Feeling defeated Amy goes to her room as told. Left alone with her thoughts once again she came to one conclusion, she was going to take things into her own hands. That night she runs away to find the three heroes and hopefully go on an adventure to remember.

Sonic and Amy- unlike other iterations of Amy and Sonic's don’t see eye to eye as much at least at the start. Before Amy met the gang she built this image of the heroes that don’t quite compare to who they are. Despite this she gets along with knuckles and tails (though they are nothing like she imagined) it’s Sonic she has a problem with. Not only did he fail to meet every expectation she had for him, he’s also a jerky, reckless idiot in Amy's eyes. Sonic was always doing or saying something stupid getting them into trouble. Not to mention he always left her behind and never took her seriously (that is no way to treat a lady). This prompts her to prove him wrong by jumping head-first into danger that she believes she can handle (she is a bit of a hypocrite). On Sonic’s end, he sees Amy as a spoiled reckless brat who doesn’t understand anything. It’s a bit harsh but it's hard not to think that she is constantly getting into trouble when she can barely control her powers and keep making things difficult when he tries to leave her somewhere safe (sonic is also a hypocrite). Worst of all she left behind a perfectly good family to go on an “adventure”. Sonic would have done anything to have Tom and Maddie as a family on day one, so Amy's drives frustrated him. These frustrations grow during the adventure eventually leading to a heated argument between the two hedgehogs (similar to the argument Sonic had with Tom in the first film). Amy leaves the team hurt and conflicted by her original hope and goal.

“Was she selfish for running away in hopes of meeting others like her? Should just return home where she’d be safe and out of their way?” She couldn’t help but feel guilty for her behavior towards the team (specifically Sonic) and her parents. She had come all this way to meet them only to show how much of a burden she was and she probably had her family worried sick. Wanting to set things right she decided to head back to the team to give them a proper apology before returning home where she would be out of their hair (quills) for good. Before she can do anything she gets kidnapped by Eggman or Shadow.

Back with team Sonic, Knuckles and Tails are disappointed by how Sonic handled things. They agree that Amy can be a bit of a handful at times but she has also proven to have her strengths (though there’s room for improvement). Tails even insisted that they have a lot in common if they BOTH take the time to get to know each other. Sonic disagrees that he’s anything like her until he crosses paths with Chris.

It turns out that as soon as the Thorndykes found out Amy Rose was missing Mr and Mrs Thorndyke heard straight to green hills while Chuck and Chris followed their trail to find Amy ( behind Nelson and Lindsey's back of course). This leads to them eventually catching up with Sonic and the gang but still no sight of Amy.

Upon meeting with the humans, they both learn that Amy has been kidnapped. Like everyone else, Sonic shares concerns for Amy's safety, though he lets slip an offhanded comment about her getting into trouble again which Chris and Chuck don’t take lightly.

On the way to rescue Amy, the team gets to know the new humans leading to a heart-to-heart between Sonic and Chris (this could work with Chuck but I think Chris needs some redemption after his Sonic X iteration). Chris let Sonic know that there’s more to Amy than her sometimes feisty nature. She’s always proven to be the most kind and compassionate person he has ever known and is always doing something amazing when no one‘s around to appreciate it (foreshadowing of the scene with Shadow and Amy). He also laments his mistake of not noticing sooner how lonely and isolated Amy felt which caught Sonic’s attention. As Chris continues he reveals to Sonic how having a family from the beginning Amy never had as much freedom to explore or had any friends of her own. She didn’t even know there were others like her a couple of weeks ago. Knowing this Sonic felt he owed Amy a second chance and maybe an apology.

Fast forward after rescuing Amy, Shadow, and Amy’s scene, the team saves the world (this going on long enough)

With the day bringing save and families reunited Sonic and Amy meet face to face once again. Before Sonic can voice his apology Amy starts to tearfully apologize to Sonic about her behavior. To comfort her, Sonic hugs Amy telling her he’s sorry he wasn’t the nicest guy either. Sonic even suggests that they could start over and she can join the team. Amy agrees to start over but suggests that she hold off on joining the team for a bit. She doesn’t believe she’s ready to team due to her lack of control over her abilities (at the time sonic and Amy didn’t know about the impact Amy had on shadow and how it helped a lot in the long run. Amy also feels she needs a lot of self-reflection after their adventure (she’s still guilty for causing so much trouble for the team and possibly being responsible for Shadow's sacrifice himself).

After some parting banter (less rough compared to their first meeting) Amy promises when they meet again for their next adventure she’ll be stronger than ever.

First thing when the hedgehogs arrive home both get teased by their siblings/family about their new friend).

Bonus content:

Chris and Amy have a sibling relationship, so like siblings, they can get on each other's nerves from time to time.

Nelson and Lindsey both help fund the Wachowski’s expenses that the government won’t help cover for Sonic, tails, and knuckles. Chuck also helps fund tails projects cause he has taken a liking to the little fox (though the project Chuck and Tail work on together can get a bit wild).

Chris, Chuck, and Tails whenever they visit each other work on new inventions together. This may include an explosion or two, much to the concern of the adults (between the Wachowskis and the Thorndyke).

Although Sonic and Amy are on better terms they often have a hard time complimenting each other face to face stating that it would “go to their head”. Occasionally a compliment sometimes does slip out from one of them which causes both of them to become flustered whenever it happens.

Sonic and Amy, both still share banter, though it comes out a bit flirtatious to onlookers which knuckles, tails, and Chris happily teased them about.

After their adventure, Amy loses a bit of confidence in herself and holds a lot of guilt for nearly costing Sonic his life (when Sonic got shot into space trying to rescue Amy) and the loss of shadow. This is one of the many reasons Amy is hesitant to join the team even when she gets better control of her powers. When Sonic learns of this, he isn’t having it, giving Amy a heart-to-heart talk about how she should give herself more credit ( and maybe mentioning how he’s been through something similar).

Sonic eventually learns about what Amy did for Shadow and other “small” deeds that helped the team a lot more than Amy thinks. Sonic gained a lot of respect and admiration for her after that. (He’ll let her know that whenever Amy is being too hard on herself with her shortcomings).

Whenever Sonic and Amy go on their “not date” dates Sonic offers to pay for the expenses despite Amy being loaded. (Amy’s not sure if he's just being a gentleman or he forgot she’s rich but she’ll take it).

Despite having a rough introduction with Ella(Amy nearly gave Ella a heart attack when she first arrived), Amy and Ella have the strongest bond, especially in the kitchen. They both enjoy cooking delicious meals and baked goods for the whole family to enjoy. And whenever Sonic and the gang come to visit she always appreciates the extra hands she gets in the kitchen. The boys also appreciate the food Amy and Ella make for them when they visit.

Mr. Tanaka serves as a butler and bodyguard to the Thorndyke household. He gives both Amy and Chris self-defense lessons to show that he cares about his own and to keep them safe. Mr. Tanaka was originally on the fence with Sonic due to Amy losing so much of her confidence in herself the last time she interacted with Sonic. Once he gets both sides of the story, he’s more understanding, though he is still protective of Miss Rose when Sonic is around.

Sam Speed and Amy often have a hard time seeing eye to eye with each other due to Sam’s blunt and overconfident nature. Similar to Sonic x Sam developed a rivalry with Sonic once learned of Sonic's super speed.

#amy rose #sonamy #sonic movie 3 #movie amy rose #sonic the hedgehog #procreate #shadow the hedgehog #miles tails prower #knuckles the series #knuckles the echidna #sorry if there’s errors #sonic X #chris thorndyke

[amphiptere-art]

Can I just point out something again.

How am I supposed to care for the main protagonist in Tsams. When they use the woes of the antagonists for their own entertainment?

I don't care how much better of a person Monty has become. I don't care how much better of a person Moon has become. I get and understand that they have every right and reason to be upset with eclipse and blood moon. They have every right to be angry. But do they have them right to laugh and point out the villain sorrow? Am I supposed to feel happy when they tell me every reason and understanding of why I feel sympathy for the villains as a joke?

This is the epitome of Batman laughing at joker for going insane. There is nothing good about joker being insane. For many villains and hero relationships. None of those heroes laugh at the misery of their villains. They will be angry. They will shout. Hell they might not even feel sympathy for whatever the villain had to go through. I can get that. But most don't play it off as a joke. Most don't go haha, that murderer's brother died. Most don't go haha, You're a little twerp that never should have lived.

Those sentences sure don't feel gratifying or hilarious when said in a void does it? Call me a villain kisser. Call me a moon/Monty hater. Have you wondered why some people would be like that? You can hate the killer but you never laugh at what life brought them there. You can wish for their death but you never celebrate the misery of their lives. You may celebrate their death, But you certainly don't mock about it with an air of jokery to those that are left behind in the aftermath.

There is one thing I get from watching real life crime reviews. People will get angry. People will shoot it in the villain's face. They will celebrate the villain's death with cry's and triumphant yells. But no one looks at their life and giggles. No one flonders their death around family no matter how involved they are. You don't do that. There is usually nothing right with how they were treated, And there certainly is nothing right about packaging someone's death certificate in a present, and handing it over to whoever was closest.

I don't care how sweet or better Monty has gotten. I don't care how different of a person Moon is. I don't care how understanding the soft Sun's anger is. I don't care if puppet is some primal entity who was expecting this from the beginning. I don't care if Lunar's jokes are just an expression of anger. At least he has an excuse. At least it feels like lunar is legit joking out of a fit of anger. Everyone else up there has made plenty of jokes and jabs without some sort of anger to cover it up. Sun maybe. But everyone else? Especially our oh so wonderful Monty?! No! I could get it maybe in the sanctity of his home. In the quiet of his friends. But he literally takes the time to drive these villains out into the light and play with them for a bit.

I feel like I'm being force fed this idea that I'm supposed to be okay with this. Like it's entirely okay to look at a villain's backstory and laugh at it! That I'm not only supposed to celebrate a murderer's death, but also joke about it to their family and friends! Everyone in this goddamn fandom hops and skips around that issue because surely it can't be. Surely I can't look at these wonderful characters I've been voting for for ages, and realize that they're jackasses. But they are promoting the worst behavior I have ever seen. Let's just laugh at the jokes. Let's just jear at the expressions. Let us ignore every possible reason why this is the most fucked up shit.

Because for some reason. As long as they have a reason to hate. They have a reason to joke. And while I might understand it as some sort of self therapy. Talking to the villains about it and even there friends is cruel!

#sams #tsams #the sun and moon show #sun and moon show #tmgafs #mgafs #the monty gator and foxy show #monty gator and foxy show #puppet and Monty podcast #pamp #tlaes #laes #the lunar and earth show #lunar and earth show

[kisseobie]

hi I absolutely adore your writing!!! who do think amon piwon is a more love st first sight kinda a guy?

love at first sight

pairings: ot6 p1harmony x reader

warnings: none!

a/n: in my fantasy world they all fall in love with me at first sight but i’m gonna be as realistic as possible based off of their personalities and things the members have said themselves .. i hope u enjoy <33

𓈒ིུ keeho

i think i remember that on kyo and jiung’s radio show they mentioned this topic once and keeho was a firm believer that love at first sight doesn’t exist, that attraction can definitely be sensed straight away but love is only something that you can experience as you get to know the ins and outs of someone. that being said, for keeho, i would say that although no, he doesn’t fall in love with you at first sight, he does feel a gravitational pull towards your energy and approaches you right when he sees you, internally passing it off as just “wanting to meet new people” when in fact, his subconscious is telling him to introduce himself to you. love at first sight is non existent with keeho, but he knows that it feels right to be around you, which later may blossom into something more than just a “pull”.

𓈒ིུ theo

doesn’t have a set opinion on love at first sight, but i do think he’ll experience it with the right person. doesn’t know if it’s your smile, your beauty, or your charisma that has been on his mind since his first encounter with you, but he knows that it was meant to be. i can see taeyang being frustrated with how he feels after just meeting you, because “love at first sight” doesn’t even occur to him as an option to consider, but as he gets to know you in your future encounters, he begins to understand that that is exactly what he felt. i can envision theo as completely shifting from someone pretty indifferent about relationships to someone who constantly daydreams about seeing you again. so yes, in my opinion, i think theo would experience love at first sight!

𓈒ིུ jiung

no, but just like keeho, the attraction is definitely there. when he first laid his eyes on you, he could place you in his mind as both intelligent and beautiful, and that intrigues him. ji is not a risk taker, nor is he someone to believe in cliches, so he would rather opt to get to know you as a friend at first with no other intentions until he eventually does fall in love with you. but i’m gonna say that jiung is the most difficult to imagine “love at first sight” with. he’s a thinker that needs to analyze all parts about you before allowing himself to open his heart to you. i don’t see this as a bad thing though! i think jiung, as a deep thinker, is definitely the type to value personality the most, so when he does fall in love with you, there isn’t any doubts in his mind, and he knows it was meant to be.

𓈒ིུ intak

intak is tricky but i’m going to say no, only because he’s a social butterfly and feels the need to make a connection with anyone he meets. i don’t think that would change as it comes to you, and like jiung, he wouldn’t have any other intentions than becoming your friend (that doesn’t mean he doesn’t get nervous around you due to your beauty!! but he doesn’t quite perceive that as love). however, i do see intak as someone to fall in love quite quickly, so even if it wasn’t “love at first sight”, it happens very fast. he’s a forward man!

𓈒ིུ soul

as a great judge of character, i think shota would! but the idea of that definitely intimidates him, and frustrates him more than anything. he can tell when he’s drawn to someone and when he meets you, he feels something deeper than his usual desire to get close to someone. it isn’t how he felt with someone like keeho, who he automatically sensed comfortability with in a platonic sense. the butterflies in his tummy scare him, and he doesn’t know what to do with them. however, his infatuation with you definitely forces him out of his comfort zone, which leads to him seeking out your presence wherever he bumps into you, and what happens after that is for you to decide :p

𓈒ིུ jongseob

yes yes yes! and i’m not just saying that because he’s my ult lol in my crush headcanons i also mentioned this but i think seob is so beyond his years that love at first sight is definitely something he could experience. i believe that he wouldn’t be aware of this himself, so he probably would try to downplay how he felt when he first laid eyes on you as just mere attraction to a pretty girl, but it begins to click in his head when he can’t get you off his mind for the rest of the night, despite never holding a conversation with you. confides in shota because he thinks soul is the only one who wouldn’t tease him for how he’s feeling. shota eggs him on to get your number eventually, and he comes to realize after texting you that you might feel the same way about him too <3

taglist: @woozixo @hearts4chanhee @kyokopi @astro-doll-the-star @soobiary @kyaaramello @t3ssamoodboard @angelcbf @idontknow-1s-world @vivienne-sim @elissasimp @imjustayapper @ihatewreckingballmains @sosaverse @seobing @www90kitsch @khfviq @barbiekh86t @bbyjjunie @taeyangi @fullsunstrawberry @jihnyah @intheemptymirror @watamotee33 @dreamer1299 @jixnnsie @wonootnoot @yukx-x047

© kisseobie, please do not repost my writing!

° . ❀

#kpop writers #jongseob x reader #p1h #p1harmony #p1harmony x reader #jongseob #p1h jongseob #kim jongseob #p1harmony drabbles #piwon #p1harmony scenarios #p1harmony reactions #yoon keeho #keeho x reader #choi jiung #choi taeyang #theo x reader #jiung x reader #haku shota #soul x reader #intak x reader #hwang intak

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

omfg i'm sorry to rant but i NEED a sympathetic person to hear this. i like the every single album podcast more than most swifties, but today's ep -- and the last few -- are driving me insane. i am so fucking sick of hearing nathan and nora wring their hands over what joe might deal with. all harassment is bad, but i am done pretending that jake g and john mayer went through….any kind of wringer? they had like...a semi-awkward couple of weeks? jake is still a mega a-lister and john mayer is widely considered to be one of the greatest living guitarists. fuck, what mayer did was outright predatory -- and he's done it to multiple women -- and lbr, he lives 99% of his life totally unperturbed by it. he's not losing gigs or status in the places that matter to him; i suspect a lot of swifties aren't aware of this but i'm a guitar nerd, and uh, yeah, he's considered a living god and no one gives a shit what he did to taylor. and literally everyone woman in the public eye, including taylor, goes through worse every single fucking day, even at their heights of popularity. i don't know how to deal with hearing nathan and nora worry about :(((( omg what will joe go through :((((( when he's never going to have disgusting ai porn of himself explode across twitter on a random weekday. maybe i feel this strongly b/c i work in games, where hordes of male fans regularly ruin random women's lives because they animated a female character wearing a t-shirt instead of a string bikini, but i can't deal with this anymore. these men are fine. lots of people get mad at them, but it's because they did truly shitty things to her and she refused to absorb it silently. then it breaks, and their lives go on.

---

I feel like Nora really articulated what Anon was trying to say the other day about along the gist of "I hope something really bad happened to justify all of this." Interesting perspectives! Btw I just want to be super clear that I don't think Taylor or anyone has to justify anything like that! Just thought it was interesting how Nora put it in the latest episode and T's power is the unusual part of this equation.

---

In a very classic "I thought the two of you should meet!" re: today's The Ringer / Every Single Album pod episode.

I will say I read both of these messages before listening to the episode myself and tbh I think Nora ultimately landed in a pretty middle and reasonable place (it started out pretty rocky though) by the end of the episode. My understanding is she ultimately felt like Taylor has every right to tell the story that she wants / needs to tell and the work will speak for itself. That this is Taylor going face to face with the elephant in the room and (probably - we don't know obviously) not obfuscating the reality that we all saw play out in real time behind 'fictionalized' half truths roleplayed by semi-imaginary characters. And at the end of the day the (likely - AGAIN WE DON'T KNOW) reality is that she's prepared to walk through the narrative that is this pressure cooker storyline many are waiting with baited breath for which is the deterioration of her most significant relationship to date.

All that to say is that I think both of these points are incredibly valid. I personally have a lot of feelings wrapped up in it that do tend to come down more on the side of it's strange that the default position is this desire to sign up as first in line defence attorney for a man when the crime as we know it is 'woman writes her life into art'.

Nora interestingly noted that there's a "pressure for this album to come with receipts" (paraphrase) based on this (fan) hyped up narrative of something sinister having gone awry that this album will pull the curtain back on. And if it fails to do that, enter said self-appointed attorneys.

#opinion #tss nanonsense

[too-young-to-ber]

Drrr-kuramerukagari post ketsu swap au

Basically iseya/eiwajima switching places with izaya/shizuo

I’ve never really posted abt things before and this is the first time I’m attempting to write abt something in such detail, so please bear with me🥲

I want to emphasize that this is all post ketsu but prob before sh and sunset novels bc I’m literally ignoring some characters.

Iseya is shocked to find himself in a wheelchair, looks for the one person he knows and trusts, eiwajima, only to find someone slightly different, in appearance and also behavior. When they meet he looks at him like he’s grown a second head, the wheelchair shocks him too but he also wasn’t expecting izaya to just appear in front of him with no purpose. Iseya just looks at him, comments on the hair that while he does look good blonde he prefers his natural brown.

Shizuo thinks he’s playing games so he shouts and takes a step closer and they’re both shocked to see izayas body tremble. Iseya gets glimpses of the battle in his head, his mind repeating the events over and over again and he understands. They’re not together, they’re hardly even friends. They’re enemies. How he can’t even begin to understand, how he could come to hate this man? He’s so much like eiwajima, just with sharper edges.

He takes a look around people are staring and whispering, some recognize them both and think they’re gonna get into a fight. He doesn’t like hearing them talk, despite his love for people he doesn’t really want to be seen right now, not in front of him like this when everything’s so complicated but also not. He doesn’t really know what to do now. He wanted to confine in the one person he knew he could talk to, but that person doesn’t exist the way he does in his memories.

Shizuo doesn’t understand what’s going through the fleas head but he can see him thinking. He almost looks sad, which is weird because izaya would never show emotion, especially not to him.

Iseya understands their rivalry more or less because despite everything it’s still them, so he tells him that he remembers him differently but he doesnt want to hurt him. He wants to learn more about him. He doesn’t know how long he’ll stay here or even how he came here, but he knew from the start that something was different. And so if he’s gonna have to stay here it’ll be with this alternate version of eiwajima, whatever their past may have been.

Shizuo is dumbfounded but agrees bc this guy, whoever he is, seems much easier to get along w than izaya, or maybe it’s just a side of izaya he never got the chance to see. (Or maybe in the very back of his mind he’s actually still playing games w him)

After talking (he realizes that this being a lie is too much of a stretch even for izaya) he feels sad to find out that they exists somewhere and they’re together, they’re friends they talk and laugh and are happy. Iseya, he calls himself, tells him about eiwajima and how he is, what his life is like and he is so jealous of his alternate self because he really is living the life he’s wanted since he found out he had this cursed strength.

He feels this loss, that he could have had that if he tried hard enough. The voice in his head telling him that eiwajima makes iseya feel good while he put izaya in a wheelchair. Eiwajima has wooed iseya while he scared izaya away. He really wonders if he has anything in common with the guy, but he must because iseya is staring at him like he’s holding the sun.

Iseya kisses him at some point and shizuo finds he doesn’t know what he’ll do when this guy leaves because he’s really enjoying their time together.

Alternatively if it’s eiwajima switching places, he’s rather confused at the hair and doesn’t like hearing people talk abt him while he walks, it seems they have nothing nice to say and they all avoid him like he’d crush them with his glance.

Of course he seeks out iseya only find a wheelchair bound man who feels like iseya but has a very unsettling vibe. He is obviously wounded if the wheelchair wasn’t enough to go by but apart from that the man freezes at his appearance and is trembling.

He immediately realizes that they don’t share the same relationship and past he knows to be true. What’s more they not only don’t get along but things have escalated between them so far that he’s managed to traumatize the man before him.

He doesn’t know what the best course of action here is, he doesn’t want to speak for alternate him because he doesn’t quite understand the extent of their situation, but “iseya” looks at him with such hatred and demands answers that he quite frankly doesn’t have.

He decides to come clean bc he couldn’t pretend to hate him even if he tried. He explains who he is and what he actually wanted by coming here and alternate iseya is so confused. He starts ridiculing him and it does kinda piss him off but when he accidentally punches a hole through the wall in frustration and “iseya” freezes again all his anger goes away.

He tells him that he cares about him. That despite what they’ve been through here he misses iseya and wants to see him. He tells him that they’re alike in some ways and he finds them endearing and wouldn’t trade what he has w iseya for anything. That they’re happy.

Izaya looks so bitter and hates that what this fake Shizu-chan is saying actually makes him want it, he realizes that he might be jealous and gets pisses bc as if he’d be jealous. He tells fake shizu that fake him is prob just lying to him and actually hates him but he’s hiding it to use him for his own advantage, bc that’s what kind of person he is really and if they’re anything alike then that’s what’s gonna happen.

Eiwajima just gives him a sad smile (which pisses izaya off even more). He knows what the words mean, that the world he’s describing, his home, is making the other man emotional. He strongly and confidently says that iseya loves him and he knows it. It’s not possible to fake their kind of love, and he doesn’t mind being used by that man, they love eachother and that’s all that really matters.

Izaya has never hated anyone more than this man before. He’s so much worse than shizu-chan bc he doesn’t get angry, he doesn’t react to anything he just sits there, spouts all this nonsense and looks at him like he’s actually in love w him and he really doesn’t know how to get out of this situation, he doesn’t want to be here but he’s so incredibly curious abt their life. He knows this guy is telling the truth but he refuses to believe it bc it seems so dreamlike and unreal, he can’t fathom being happy as described, much less with this man.

Eiwajima wants to stay with him, despite the fact that he didn’t actually do anything to bring this man such pain he still sees the emotions swimming around in his eyes and he wants to help him. Despite the fact that it’s not his iseya, it’s still this worlds version of him and that’s enough for him to try and fix whatever they have going on, or at least help in some way. He tries to get close, as close as he’s allowed and talks about whatever he remembers from his home, all things almost always leading to iseya of course. He tries various topics hoping the other will come in at some point and they’ll have a normal conversation, as normal as it can get anyways.

Izaya eventually does, they talk like they’re friends. Izaya can’t comprehend what’s happening but he’s trying not to think about, fake Shizu-chan is interesting, he likes hearing about this world of theirs and his life there, he realizes that he’s having a casual conversation and it’s easy too he’s easy to talk to and listen to. He’s enjoying this more than he originally thought he would. He wonders if his Shizu-chan is this nice to be around when he’s not throwing things at him, which he knows is probably true, he just has never been on the receiving end of shizuo’s kindness. However this “eiwajima” he’s very charming, and he can’t seem to look away from those eyes.

Idk where this is going but yeah I just want them to find out abt their alternate lives separately and cry abt how miserable they are. Maybe they would try to find each other and start over (in a sense) after this happens so they can actually make a happy ending for themselves (or a happy new beginning)

them actually swapping places makes it hurt more since they’re inserted into this foreign world. They would both be shocked to find their supposed enemy sleeping next to them and the ppl around them liking them, I don’t think they’d ruin anything, well maybe izaya would try depending on what would happen but I don’t think he’d would want to make these ppl hate alternate him even just to spite him bc they prob wouldn’t, I mean they know what he’s like and they like him so…

shizu would be so shocked to see ppl liking him random ppl not afraid of him but wanting him around, he’d be afraid to talk to them so as not to hurt them. And then as far as their relationship goes they’d be happy but also sad that they can’t have it.

Overall it would mostly be sad (bc as it seems I love angst), heartbreaking really, to see what they could have had but weren’t as lucky as the other two. There’s a lot of reasons as to why the two of them never really got the chance to get along (which I’m not gonna get into now bc that’s a whole other story and lots of ppl have already made theories on it) but I think that seeing versions of themselves happy and well is like a slap in the face bc had their circumstances been different they could have had that, had they tried to do things differently they could have had something similar.

This has been in my head for a while (post ketsu usually is on repeat) and I really had to get it out bc it’s too much, and it turned into a whole ass essay🥲 this is the first time I’m attempting this tho so pls don’t look into it too much, it’s a mess of thoughts that I can’t quite put together. I apologize if there’s any mistakes or holes in it, it’s def ooc so yeah…

Thank u to anyone who decided to read it and made it this far! If theres anything anyone wants to add pls go right ahead I’m starving for these boys. Thanks again for reading! 🥰

#durarara #kuramerukagari #shizaya #eiwaseya #shizuo heiwajima #izaya orihara #iseya #eiwajima #eiwazima #idk which one is correct for his name so I’m tagging both #I’m sorry this is so long #but I had to GET IT OUT #it’s been in my head nonstop since I saw the movie #i might have forgotten to add some things but this is all I can think of rn #I’m so in love with them it’s not even funny

[diazfox]

(A tentative guess about your BuckTommy vs Buddie post)

I guess a big part of it is because it's canon ? It's canon and it seems to work, and it seems to be make Buck calm and fluffy and happy in a healthy way, which is what a lot (all ?) of us want. So we can get behind that, for now.

Your "why not a similar support behind his exes / fetishizing MM relationship" question is valid and i think the difference is because it's the first time someone Buck dates seems to really fit with him without having something that we can pre-shot is going to be a problem, and the first time he goes into a relationship (getting myself ahead of things there) without it being to heal something in him ? And as I've read other people point out, Tommy's not silo-ed out, he has a backstory with the Begins episodes, he is friends with some of the 118, so it makes him less of a plot device than Buck's female exes.

And about the second part, the fetishizing part, i think sadly it's just a real thing that happens here, on tumblr and in fandom spaces : men are seen enjoying being together and fandom smooches them together together. One could even argue that it's the same for Buddie, wanting them to be together together when canon just factually says they are BFFs. I don't think anyone is erasing anything, but all that is canon about Buddie is that they are BFFs (a lot can be read as more that friends but ultimately it's with shipping goggles on, only - i'm not a very optimistic person, though).

I guess some of us think that if they didn't make Buddie happen for this long, then it may be because it is meant to stay on the fandom shipping side ? And we're given this incredible chance to have a canon lgbt character with an unusual story of self-discovery that doesn't happen a lot in tv shows so we're just enthusiastic to go with the flow ?

And if it turns out that the writers have the guts to get Eddie his own self-discovery journey, and if that later leads to Buddie happening somehow, then I think all BuckTommy shippers will be glad that it finally happened, and that it is canon, and is finally the Truth.

damn, thanks for your insight! i do see how things being canon and properly canon (like Tommy having a "backstory") can cause shifts in perspectives looking into the future.

i 100% understand why some might think buddie is a form of fetishization too. ngl i've seen strong arguments like "why can't 2 male characters share a strong emotional bond platonically? why does it have to lead to romance?" i guess my main reason for bringing up fetishization with respect to bucktommy is the fact that they are quite lacking in the "strong emotional bond" department. so it feels pretty much like "2 hot guys kissing and touching each other hell yeah" to me.

but i realise i'm overlooking the fact that this is bi buck's first relationship, though. i forgot to consider the fact that majority of this support for tommy comes from the fact that this is the first love interest of buck's to whom he can give all of himself and get twice as much with all the freedom in the world AS A BI MAN. thank u for putting me on to the fact that i've been misinterpreting this enthusiasm to some degree.

thats not to say that just bc something is canon or just a headcanon everything is set in stone. writers and actors themselves have made it very clear time and time again that audience reactions and engagement matters when it comes to plot development. in your own line of thought, right until 7x 03 they didn't make bi Buck happen for so long. so would u say it was meant to stay merely on the fandom shipping side? i just think the possibilities are endless, and maybe we as a fandom can try to have a bit more resilience to see through fan-originated storylines instead of a "i'll just go with whatever is canon bc it's easier" ethic.

#911 #911 on abc #evan buckley #buddie #911 abc #eddie diaz

[neptune-scythe]

quick thing about the nuances of desire that is often over looked, specifically in regards to touch aversion

the argument I get the most when discussing Kanej having a relationship without any physical intimacy or touch is that they both want that

but here's the thing

yes they both express desires for touch or physical intimacy, but it's not as black and white as that.

there's three points I wanna make here

the first is there's a difference between wanting something and fantasizing about it. and by that I mean you can like the idea of something, you can have a desire for that idea, but it isn't the actual thing. so for the topic of touch, you can like the idea of a hug or a kiss, you can desire to experience the same feeling from it that other people do or that you think you should, but in reality it isn't actually enjoyable to you, it doesn't give you the feeling you want it to. you want it, maybe even enough to try it again and again, but it may never give you what you want out of it.

the second point ties into the first one nicely of being that you can want the feeling that touch is supposed to give, so you think you want the touch as well. but in reality you just haven't separated the two. you want the comfort, the safety, the closeness, the protection, or whatever else that you're supposed to feel when you touch someone, you might not actually want or enjoy the touch itself or get those feelings from it. but once you separate the two you can find those feelings you're searching for in other ways that are actually comfortable and beneficial.

and the third point is that sometimes you just want to want something. you want to have the desire to touch someone, to be able to feel comfortable with it, but you don't. you might try and convince yourself that you do want it because you think you're supposed to, but the actual desire just isn't there. you want to have the desire rather than actually having the desire.

so for Kaz and Inej, yes they both expressed desires for physical intimacy, but it's not as black and white as "they said they want it so that's what they need to be happy"

desire is much deeper than that, and humans are much more nuanced and layered and unpredictable.

and yes there are also times when people just have desires without any of the extra stuff, but given their history I personally don't think Kaz or Inej are that type. There are too many conflicting feelings and experiences for it to be that simple in my opinion.

and if there's one thing Leigh Bardugo is good at it's making deep, multifaceted, and complex characters, and that's what I enjoy so much about them. they have the capacity to portray all those nuances of desire that other characters just can't, and that's a very beautiful and important thing ... especially for y/a books. to capture the human experience, to explain the aspects of humanity that are hard to discover in one's self or notice in other people. it's a bridge to deeper understanding, it's putting that ability to understand in a language that is more accessible and universal than an intellectual self help book or an essay.

so to circle back to my overarching point, desire isn't a simple thing. thinking "I want __" doesn't necessarily translate perfectly the way it presents, and there are many complexities to the human mind that are unpredictable and surprising.

#touch aversion #touch averse #touch sensitive #desire #complexity #nuance #grishaverse #six of crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #dirtyhands #the bastard of the barrel #the wraith #kanej #kaz x inej #kanej hc #kanej head canon #kanej headcanon #kanej hot takes #kanej supremacy #kaz x inej headcanon #kaz x inej hc #kanej rants #kaz thoughts #inej thoughts #kaz brekker and inej ghafa #kaz and inej #kaz brekker x inej ghafa #inej x kaz

[mightymizora]

Hello mighty mizora! Big fan here of your work the way you write is so mesmerizing honestly im always in awe!! I have a small question i hope its not annoying i've asked this question to another writer who i liked once but they were so mean to me back so i understand that maybe its not the best question to be asked but i have ADHD and i need alittle direction so i hope maybe you can give me some (its totally okay if you dont want to ! ) Do you have any pointers to someone who has never wrote anything past school essays and to do lists if they want to start writing fanfiction and have it be nice and expressive? I have so many ideas i write them down write 5 sentences thats like a summray maybe a few sentences of some scenes of romance sorta like a small outline it feels so dry... And i dont know what to do past that... Essays had structures and preferred starting intros and all that but i feel lost when i try and start a story, i know myself and i know once i start i will not shut up but starting feels like a wall and i dont know how to climb yk ?

Hey pal!

Firstly thank you so much and also I'm sorry you had a bad experience with another writer. You've asked this so nicely. And apologies for this being delayed I thought I had clicked post but I'd saved the draft again!

So I'm not going to claim to be an expert in this but the way I approach this is:

I start with what I want to say with a piece. What do I want to explore? What do I hope the reader will take away from it? I then jot those down for myself at the top of the document, just like you describe with your summary! If this changes as I discover things that's okay, but it's kind of my road map.

I usually also start in the middle of some action, or with a line of dialogue. Honestly you don't have to do this at all but the joy of fanfiction is you don't have to do loads of exposition! People know who the characters are and you can dive into things! It means you get stuck right in which I personally like.

I also don't write chronologically! I think we can get so stuck on things. I think of writing a story like pruning a garden, so I might write some "holding sentences" per scene and then work on scenes as they come to me. It's a good way to build up the bits as you are inspired. You can see this really clearly in a piece like Blood and Bone which is very sparse, some of the holding sentences in that fic are still in there.

When it comes to dialogue, I use the actioning method used in acting and I work out what people want to do by saying something. I like when characters don't say things outright, but say a hundred words by what they don't say. A character can say I love you, and it's good, but what if they say I don't want you to leave? What is left in the gaps?

When it comes to description I think I have a long way to go honestly but again. What are people seeing, smelling, tasting, seeing touching? What is their primary sense? Does it evoke anything else for them, or are they entirely in the moment? This can vary from character to character.

Another thing to think of is variant rhythm. Once you have a first draft down, go over it again and look at sentence structure. Can you add variation by changing the length of sentences? Can you tell a story in the rhythms you use? I'm a big fan of long run on sentences in romance showing a character losing control, for example.

And the big secret honestly is... you might well find your writing a bit dry! I find mine dry! I look at it squinting, asking whether the sex is sexy or if it's just way too out there or just completely misses the mark. We only really know when other eyes get to see it.

I hope that's helpful!

#on writing #anons are always open for writing chat honestly #so if you want clarity lmk!

[shannonsketches]

Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,

Anime:

GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)

VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!

Manga:

GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.

#silly hours #I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd #Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao #they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of #Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind' #and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life' #toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned' #and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit' #girl hWHAT #Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants #to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!! #Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies #They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted #He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok #He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be #because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that #Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt #+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow #realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??' #now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader. #and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat #you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play. #You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here #And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship #and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there #you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad #anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay #And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe

[itsafternoonpast5]

thinking about their friendship so hard

#camp camp #cc #David #jasper #fanart #DUDEEE nobody gets them like i do theyre so good #theyre so tragic.. they never truly got to know each other. the last time they ever seen each other they were angry with the other :( #but there’s so much regret that comes with it too. they never got to talk it out. be on good terms #they could see each other at any moment but they other doesn’t know #they call each other best friends yet we never really see them being best friends.. but maybe they get each other like no one else does #their personalities did a complete swap with each other - they understand how the other is thinking and feeling. #David hated the camp but after one good thing he loves it. viseversa with jasper #when they last saw each other they were clouded with their views and didn’t try to understand things from their lens #yet even if they didn’t - they still understood each other. if you get what I mean #theyre foils. but so is max and david and that’s what makes both relationships compelling for me. theyre so similar to each other #no wonder david is so attached to max. he sees himself in him and he sees jasper in him too #i know jaspers just a character to show how bad the camp is. but there’s so much depth to him too #he has a lot of missed potential.. i hope he’s in season 5 at least. id like to see him again #srry for the character analysis im insane #jaspvid

[tsams-confessions]

im not hiding myself, I send an ask a long time ago saying how, as someone who liked to ship, I was doing my best to keep Moon as Ace representation as best as I could (Im demi- who loves silly lovers) I speak to some Ace artist and they had guide me, I been follwing a nice blog too! that often responds to my ask, but I leave this ask now to say.. what Im doing wrong? I keep reading these ask saying "how aphobic people are when removing the sex repulsed out of NewMoon!" when.. all I do is going by how he is acting in canon and what he said- the "I dont swin any way" was to a literal monster showing his ass.. but but , im not here to get yelled at. im here to know, to ask those anons who say me and others artist are being aphobic, to please guide me, what Im doing wrong? maybe is my like to proyect into characters I like? is it because I view im as Ace-Sex favorable? is it because I just like him to be with Solar? I ask those who leave those type of ask, to please tell me, and by extent. others that will read, what is it aphobic to view NewMoon as another "type" (hope is ok to say it like that) if Ace, please because I care to know..

.

#sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #sams #tsams confession #< block this if you dont want to see these #mod 1blood #im trusting people to be nice about this #i cant personally comment because i havent seen your work but #in my experience a lot of artists/writers forget the ace and/or aro part of the character's identity when making them sex/romance favorable #i dont think this is intentional and again i have no basis on your work in specific #but i would stop and think in depth about how his ace identity affects his relationship with sex #you say he's favorable! what drives him to it? enjoying the feeling? high libido in general? maybe he just finds it entertaining? #because him being ace *will* affect the motivation to do it. it doesnt necessarily mean it'll make him want it less/not at all #but id definitely put some thought into *why* he wants to. since from my understanding attraction is most often what makes allos want it #<- take that last bit with a grain of salt. im ace so thats mostly and educated guess on why allos do it #if anyone wants to add on feel free. if this is worded badly its because its late as fuck as of queuing lmao