What Type of Lover Would They Be?
💌🍓🖤
(Pick a card/Tarot love reading)
Hi it's Lunadream❤️ This is a reading on your person and the type of lover they are/would be like with you!👀💋
hope you find your message🌸
Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3
(Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)
Now, shall we begin~? ^w^
Think of the your person, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~🌸❤️
Pile 1🍫
Pile 2🥛
Pile 3🥀
Pile 4🍓
Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡
On to the readings —> 💌
Pile 1🍫
Sign energy: Unexpected, Activity, Soft spot, Energy, Hold, Lilith, Chiron, Libra, Gemini, 1st house, Vertex,🎶💃👿🤵♂️
👤Your person's energy: Oh my pile 1 your person is fiesty😂😂 There is a lot of passion and energy to this pile, I know this is about your person but I am also getting some fire energy from you guys🙈🔥 Some of you could be aries, leo or sagittarius placements in your charts, my pile 1's are so irresistible!!🥰 Now this person has a lot energy physically, I feel like they can do a lot without getting burnt out, probably can work out often. On their own this person can be forward and a little impulsive but they also have a very gentle side.🥹🩷 This person tends to be direct in their thinking, for some lf you this person curses a lot😂🤬 Physically they have a certain charm about them, because they can look mean yet soft and sweet at the same time?? It just kinda comes off as hot tbh😂😭 Oh and prominent signs in their chart are Libra, Gemini, and Aries. They have a mars mercury feel to them, they could talk fast or bluntly. They do have an unexpected dark side to them, maybe they have a soft image but then they're a devil in disguise omg😈 Nothing bad but, they have another vibe to them that's really passionate and aggressive even?? Maybe they have a bit of a resting b*tch face but you think it's so cute😆 Oh hold on I'm just getting something, you guys may see this person as the love of your life, you're soft for them🥺💞💋 Other people may think they're bad news but in your eyes they're literally the sweetest thing ever.🤭🌸 This connection could be on hold for some of you, there is some sort of barrier between physical touch with this person right now for some sudden reason. Maybe someone is into healing music? Music could be healing for this person. You like the way this person thinks, they're like a cute little devil to you.😂 They may look really adorable to you when they're angry, some of my pile 1's want to marry this person💍💕 They could be toned/strong physically, random but their hand grip is very strong? Like they can open a jar or crush things with their hand?😂🫣 You may be able to spot them easily by their hands. Honestly this is just so cute🥰
🌹What type of lover they are with you: Target, Winter, Remedy, Listen, Unafraid, 11th house, Sun, 3rd house, Sagittarius, Saturn,🎱🩲🤬🫐
Lol wtf are these emojis help- Umm so your person would be the type of lover that's like a best friend, they might would want to be friends first before getting into the relationship with you.🙃 Despite their forward approach to communication, when it comes to you they would be the BEST listener omg this is so sweet😭💖 Like they would be all ears for whatever you have to say💬 it's just so cute because it really felt like they're the type to cut people off easily when they talk and not take time to listen but PILE 1 when it comes to you they will never interrupt you🥺💕💞 They are naturally a very fun type of lover with you, they would be brave and daring in their attempts to win you over😆 Like they are not afraid to make any bold moves or mistakes.💪😎 In a relationship with you, they are like the shining sun keeping you warm in the cold winter. They may try to befriend your friends, and talk about how lucky they are to have you🤭 Your person would be giving sibling, best friend and lover energy all at once. But as childish and bright as they may act with you, they are also a very dominant type.😳❤️🔥⛓️ So like one minute they're joking with you and then the next they're choking with you (if you know what I mean!!🥵) Yeah also they're the kind of lover that's very handsy in a relationship with you, they may always wanna have their hand on your shoulder or other places😭 They might be a little reckless around you, simply because they get all bright and excited when they're with you🥹💖 But they are also the kind to take you seriously when needed, like they would really commit🫶 They may be the kind to tell dirty jokes with you, just throwing it out there to get your reply🫣 So basically they can be really fun and silly but also hot af with you😭⁉️ I see them smirking all the time and nudging you, as your lover they would get very intense when you two are alone❤️🔥⛓️ Also they may love arguing with you then suddenly making out with you??😳 AHH Yeah I can definitely see that for your person, they're the sweet and funny type but can be dominant and aggressive with you if you want it😈😰😭
💌Messages from your person: What happened? Let's take our time, I wish I could control it, Someone will love you, It's all real (Omg yess pile 1 it's reaaal🥰)
Extra cards: Spell, Mean, Submissive, Mutable, Skill (Some of you may be mutable signs, Pisces, Virgo, Gemini, Sagittarius✨️ I love this connection you two have it's really something special🌹)
Haha this pile was A LOT omg!!😂🩷 Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🥰❤️
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the chocolate emoji~🍫 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🌸🌹💌
Pile 2🥛
Sign energy: Tea, Twin flame, Imagination, Darling, Rebellion, 3rd house, Vertex, 5th house, 9th house, 11th house,🤗🪸🥠🫧
👤Your person's energy: Ah they're very attractive aren't they?? Some of my pile 2's have a lot of fantasies about this person🥺💭 This may be a twin flame/soulmate connection to you, they feel like your soul twin🩷 You may interact with this person through social media/online, I am getting lots of mirrored energy. Prominent Gemini, Leo, Sagittarius, and Aquarius in their chart.✨️ I feel like this person makes you very happy, you just want to hug them😢💖 I am getting water energy from some of my pile 2's, especially neptune placements.🔱💕 This connection feels fateful to you guys, maybe you've even been manifesting this person?🙏 Tea may be significant, also for some of you this person could be from a different culture or background than you. They could also have a thirst for traveling to other countries.✈️ Maybe their beliefs are a bit rebellious? They desire to befriend people of different countries and ethnicities. They have a charming bright aura and smile made of sunshine, also you are friends with this person or want to be!!🥺🩷 This person may have a unique way of speaking or communicating with others, some people may find it strange but you find is intriguing.💬✨️ For physical appearance, maybe unique hair. They are giving an eccentric and creative vibe, they may be into unusual music or art. They have strange tastes for some of you, a lot of manifestation from this pile. If you're manifesting this person just know it's working!!🥰 The fortune cookie emoji is very promising, there is the working of fate for this connection. Soulmate/twin flame vibes take what resonates~💞
🌹What type of lover they are with you: Daily, Situation, Inactivity, Benefits, Feminine, Aries, Earth, Chiron, Sagittarius, Air,🕸🧖♀️🦥🧊
Okay interesting so the first thing I'm noticing with your person is that they are the type of lover to do considerably feminine activities with you, like going shopping or pampering yourselves.💅🛍💖 They may be very helpful if you two ever trave to another country, maybe they speak a language well? And you can benefit from that with your person🤭💫 You may also have many travel benefits and opportunities when you're with them, as well as learning new things. I can see that your person is the type to go pretty fast into the relationship with you, they might just start dating you kind of out of nowhere that's the vibe I'm getting from your person lol😂 They may try to take really good care of themselves, wear expensive clothes and look good just for you✨️💗🥺 There is this energy, like they may be really worried about having a relationship come to a stop or just die so like they try to do as much as they can to keep you interested every day😭 They are a bit clingy, so they are the type to have their arm around you a lot.👀💕 Some of my pile 2's this is a very feminine person when in a relationship with you, they may act as the feminine in the relationship.♀️ I do see you two doing a lot of sweet activities together, self care is something you both share.💝🪞🧼 You two could get caught up in some petty fights sometimes, but then they just hug you and cuddle you making it hard to stay mad at them🥹🙊 I can see this person being protective of you. They may enjoy buying you products for you to use, like nice bathroom products✨️🧴 Wow it's like this person knows you so well because they are into similar things, also, they may like to touch your thighs a lot. I can see them wanting to grab your leg often when you two are dating.😭😨💞 For those who this is a masculine they have a lot of understanding and respect for you guys🥺 Like they are not afraid to seem less masculine by sharing the things you love, like if it's what pile 2 wants it doesn't matter to me <3 I'm just getting such soft and sweet masculine vibes for those, this could be a sort of relationship that just happens somehow. Like situationship kinda thing.🤯 For some of you this person may be a little jealous of you?? There is some competitive energy here. Ohh but you guys make such a cute couple, like a very feminine one.😘💞💅 I can just see you two buying cute clothes and spending time doing your favorite things together!!
💌Messages from your person: So what, I like the pain, Just say the word, I'm in trouble, Don't waste your time (For some of you this person feels like a situation won't work out, they may be having negative thoughts about this connection😢 It could be a sort of masochistic view on the relationship, like they want things to go wrong for their suffering. This person may have a lot of emotional wounds, also they could feel they aren't good enough for you like "just give up on me" kinda thing🥺💔)
Extra cards: Protection, True, Indecision, Slow, Trial and error (Ohh but it's true that they wanna protect and heal you guys, but they're just really confused, like they feel so slow and can't make up their mind right now!!😫💗)
Wow I didn't expect all that🤯 Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🥰❤️
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the milk emoji~🥛 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🌸🌹💌
Pile 3🥀
Sign energy: North node, Learn, Locked, Good, Hard, Water, North node, 7th house, 2nd house, 1st house,🪃❤️😁🔗
👤Your person's energy: Ooh lovers energies in this pile!! OH MY this could be someone you are meant to be with💖 Signs for them are Libra, Taurus, Aries.. Venus placements! Oh also water signs. They could have a pretty voice, very clear and nice.🗣✨️ Some of my pile 3's will come in contact with this person soon, most likely a phsyical encounter soon!!🤗 This is a romantic option for you guys, you may consider this person to be the love of your life.💐 You feel very connected to this person, romantically this person may be committed to you in some way.💍🩷 This could be a twin flame/soulmate connection for some, there is a lot of love and attraction to this person.🥰 North node came out twice I just realized, so there could be a lot happening really soon or in the future with this person? Actually that's very promising, this is a very loving and sweet person.🥺💕 They could be a water rising, also may have soft skin. This could be someone who always comes back to you or always will, because they are linked to you in some way. It's like no matter what they will always be connected to you guys💗🔗😱 Definitely romantic feelings for this person, my pile 3's are in love with them omggg🥺 You could be dead set on marrying this person. Also you may be possessive over this person, like you want them to be yours only.💞 Ugh I can just feel so much love and need for this person, you guys are so soft for them😭 I also feel like some of my pile 3's are actually already in a relationship with this person, but not all. This person is very physically attractive, they could have venus on their rising too.🫢💋 People may consider them a good kisser? Lol dunno why that's coming through, they may have very kissable lips. Something about this person is heavy, they feel very grounded and calm. You may learn a lot from this person or the other way around they may learn a lot from you, I see a lot of growth in this person.🩷 Their physical appearance is coming through a lot, I feel like you guys just can't control yourselves around this person like you just wanna touch them so bad LMAO👐😭 Something is definitely going to happen soon with this person, lol there is just so much romantic energy thrown in my face with this one you guys love is written all over this person😂 You are also very excited about them, they make you all giddy and cute💗
🌹What type of lover they are with you: Lack, Risk, Rest, Emotional, Affection, 5th house, Eros, 3rd house, Pisces, 4th house,❤️🔥🪐🛎🕹
Ohhh pile 3 this gooood😍❤️ This person as a lover is passionate, romantic and caring. They will want to play and have fun with you, very teasing and charming🩷 The relationship is filled with love and attraction, they're the type to shower you with compliments and tell you how attractive you are to them🌹💖 They are very affectionate as your lover!! The type to embrace you lovingly and kiss you as much as you'd like🥺💋 They're such a flirt with you, but it's so genuine??😭 Like it literally comes from their heart and it just pours out of them how much they love you.❤️ Now this person may conceal these feelings or restrict themselves from affection towards you, they could feel it is immature or irresponsible to indulge in that as the please. (But they really want to😩) The beginning of the relationship might would start out very difficult for them to show their love, because they would be denying it. But as your lover this person would eventually let loose and give in to all the many desires they keep locked away because guess what, they can't control themselves with you🤪🙈❤️🔥 They are really a wild and passionate lover with you, so romantic it's crazy. The type to cuddle you tight and rest with you, taking naps with you aw🥺💞 But also they talk a lot with you, like they won't shut up or stop flirting with you😂 Persistent af. They also want to control you and have fun with you like you're their toy🥵 Also they enjoy teasing and playing all sorts of little games with you. They're the type to make you feel loved and comfortable then suddenly they pin you down and catch you by surprise😭🔞 I won't go into everything but they definitely are a very VERY passionate lover with you. Like they want to turn on a lot, very risky with you. But also emotionally attached to you, they are really sweet but also really naughty.😳❤️🔥 You guys are connected on a soul level, they get so hot with you oml. Oh my pile 3 they are really into you as a lover, also they're very entertaining and love your attention.👑 The dynamic you guys have is literally everything😭 They are a lover that would desire you, treat you so good, and spoil you. Warm hugs and hot kisses, also they would commit to you. Like they only see you omg, you are the object of their affections.😍❤️❤️❤️
💌Messages from your person: Anything please, I'll do, How do you think I feel? We're compatible, You make me nervous (Omg your person knows you two are like 🔥🔥🔥🔥 Also they're down for anything but also hella nervous about you🥺💞)
Extra cards: Dominant, Catch, Orange, Fake smile, Tangled (Yeah they want to catch you and tie you up and much much more that I won't go into...!!!😭🔞)
This pile got crazy!! Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🥰❤️
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the rose petals emoji~🥀 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🌸🌹💌
Pile 4🍓
Sign energy: Demeanor, View, Sight, Deep, First date, 9th house, Pisces, 11th house, Water, Eros,🛸🥳🍋😎
👤Your person's energy: You guys may view this person from social media/online, a lot of my pile 4's are not present in this person's life, they could be at a distance right now.🥲 For some of you this is an online dating thing or you could be manifesting to date this person.🙏💗 They're really cool omg, they have a unique and exotic charm about them. They could be from overseas or abroad, or have traveled a lot.✈️✨️ Some of you keep a check on this person through divinity or spiritual sources. They are knowledgeable and kind, signs in their chart could be Sagittarius, Pisces, Aquarius, and water placements.🥰💫 You have a deep admiration for this person, you may look up to them. They have a vibe about them, really unlike any other.🩷 You may have dreams of this person or that is where you see them often. This feels like someone very far away, they feel like an alien on another planet to you. That is their energy.👽🤔 Perhaps you feel very different than this person in some ways, they are mentally very attractive.💭 Some of you could be friends with this person, or they just seem like they would make a good friend. They are creative and have good ideas, you support their imagination.💡💖 This person is very fun and bright, but I'm also getting this swag about them. Eccentric and hot??😂 They just have such a fresh vibe about them, also they could have a water sign as their 9th house. Some of you watch this person from a distance like online, you may look at their page often but remain unseen.🤫 They could be a bit of a rebel, like they dyed their hair or dress different than how they were told. Something about them is just different, and you really like that about them omg🥰
🌹What type of lover they are with you: More, Doctor, Uranus, Uniqueness, Hot, 5th house, Virgo, 1st house, Mercury, 6th house, 🔚🌇🗒🏍
Lol this person's gonna get handsy with you guys- OMG so they would treat you really special, unlike anyone else.🔥 They are the type to keep wanting more more more😭😭😭 They can't get enough of you as your lover, the attractive just grows. The way they talk to you as your lover is very different than how they usually talk, like it speeds up and things get really hot🤯❤️🔥 They think of you a lot, also I keep getting freaky vibes so.. uh... you know what that means😳🙊 They may want to take care of you, and mantain a healthy lifestyle in a relationship with you.🥗🩷 But also when you two are together, they feel like they can finally be themselves😇 Like they can be as weird and nonconforming as they wanna be. They feel like you won't judge them, there is a lot of communication from this person as your lover. They will talk a lot with you, the kind to talk about all sorts of random things💬😂💖 In a relationship with you, this person is witty and entertaining. Like you will never get bored with their conversations🩷 They might overthink about you though, especially if they think of something they shouldnt😳👿 I can see them writing down every detail and quirk about you they love😇 They would find you so fascinating, because to them you would make them feel not so strange. Aw they would feel so accepted by you as your lover, you heal them really.🥺💞 They are the type to touch you a lot, this could be very often😳 They could like holding hands with you, also holding your waist. For some of you I can imagine you guys start dating online first, but only some.🤳🩷👀 Also they're the type of lover that loves taking selfies of you two together😍 Also just taking photos of you in general would be their favorite hobby~ Oh and uh... filiming whatever else they find interesting😳🔞 They are the kind to tell you "you're perfect" or "you look so hot" while you're just like eating chips and watching tv lmaooo also like when you're just talking about your playlist or something they just start making out with you at the most unexpected times HELP😂🥵 Like they wouldn't even give you a warning they are an unpredictable lover to say the least, but it's hot.❤️🔥
💌Messages from your person: I would hurt whoever hurts you, You can't control me, You can do it, I wanna steal your kiss, You know I love you (OHH pile 4 you better knowww🥵🥵🥵)
Extra cards: Inspiration, King, Sugar, Unhealthy, Waist (They have some crazy fantasy about you guys oml🔞 Didn't I say they would wanna grab your waist? Well it's here oml that energy is raging that's all I'm gonna say😭)
Okayy that was fun!! thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!🥰❤️
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the strawberry emoji~🍓 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading🌸🌹💌
Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸
Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌
-Lunadream <3
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heartbreak feels so good (part 1)
Pairing: Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Reader
Word count: 8081
CW: Shitty boyfriends, angst, fluff, slow burn.
Your boyfriend's callsign is Viper, which is fitting. Bradley doesn't know how much longer he can watch this man destroy you, but luckily for him, he doesn't have to wait too long.
Use of Y/N, but no description of reader. THIS IS A MULTI-PART FIC.
After another day of having your feelings totally ignored by your boyfriend, you were looking forward to some alone time. Elijah was so hot and cold that you felt as though you were in a constant state of fight or flight, just waiting for him to either make your day or ruin it completely. Most of the time, it was the latter, and although good days with him were few and far between, they were enough to make you stay. See, you didn’t half-ass anything—least of all relationships—so when you were in something, you were in it. You told Elijah that much after your first date. You’d been sitting in the front of his beemer eating ice cream, having the first of many deep talks. Between sweet, sticky kisses, you’d told him that you were dating to marry. He told you he was, too.
He said, ‘I’m yours if you’ll have me, Y/N.’ And that was that.
And it was almost a year ago. You’d survived a somewhat tumultuous winter with him, desperately trying to cling on to the version of him he’d been during the summer. As time went on, he stopped putting his mask on, secure enough in your relationship that he no longer felt the need to pretend to be caring and considerate. The days were starting to get longer, and the weather was warming up again, but Elijah was so far from the man he was at the start that you might as well have been in a relationship with a different person. Every morning, you woke up with no idea what personality to expect that day, whether or not he was going to take all his personal drama out on you, even though you only ever loved and supported him.
Today had been one of those days, and as you finished up with the F-18 engine currently in pieces in front of you, you silently prayed that he wouldn’t text you asking to come over. He was also a naval aviator, but you were working on different parts of the base today. Thank God. Elijah’s callsign was Viper, fitting since vipers prey on small animals by envenomating them and watching them die slowly.
Coyote appeared behind you, helmet tucked underneath his arm.
‘Hey, we’re all heading to The Hard Deck for beers,’ he told you. ‘You comin’?’
You grabbed a rag and made an attempt to wipe some of the oil off. ‘I don’t know,’ you sighed. ‘I want to, but then I’ll have to bring Elijah, and I don’t really wanna see him tonight.’
‘Why do you have to bring him?’ Coyote frowned. ‘He’s a lousy drunk and never lets you have any fun.’
‘If he finds out I went out with all you guys, he’ll think I’m up to something.’
‘Like gettin’ with me?’ He joked, wiggling his eyebrows.
‘Probably,’ you laughed. ‘You or one of the others. Or maybe he’ll accuse me of getting with all of you if he’s in a particularly bad mood.’
‘Listen, if you wanna come, you’re welcome. We’ll just make sure nobody posts about it, and we’ll get you a fake moustache or somethin’.’
It broke your heart to think about all your closest friends having a fun night without you. Over the past year, you’d lost count of the amount of experiences you’d missed out on because you didn’t want to make Elijah upset or angry with you. The worst part was it was a double standard. He went out without you all the time, didn’t tell you where he’d gone or who he was with, and expected you to be okay with it. If you weren’t, you could kiss your peace goodbye; he’d spend the next week making your life a living hell, ignoring you entirely until you apologised to him for being hurt by his actions.
‘You know what Javy? Count me in.’
He grinned. ‘Thatta girl.’
It was hard to regret coming out when you felt this good. It had been months since you’d gone on a night out without Elijah, which was to say it had been months since you last enjoyed yourself. As you sipped your second sex on the beach, you mused that some kind of higher power must have been looking out for you because you’d yet to receive a single text from your boyfriend. Most of the time, when you spent the night apart, he’d call you incessantly. It was annoying, sometimes bordering on obsessive, and you didn’t need him to tell you he was checking on you, or rather, checking that you were alone in your apartment. That much was obvious.
Dating an insecure man was not for the weak.
You were sat at one of the high tables next to the window watching Jake, Mickey, Javy, and Reuben play pool. Nat was opposite nursing a beer, glowing in the golden light of the evening. Her phone buzzed, and she picked it up, smiling at the notification.
‘Rooster’s on his way,’ she told you. ‘He wasn’t gonna come out tonight, but I told him he didn’t have a choice. It’s not every day Y/N Y/L/N leaves the comfort of her apartment.’
You scoffed. ‘That’s not exactly how I’d put it.’
‘No?’ Nat raised a brow.
You hadn’t drunk in months, and despite only being on your second drink, the booze had loosened your lips significantly.
‘No. It’s not that I’d rather stay home, it’s that staying home makes my life easier because then I don’t have Elijah breathing down my fucking neck.’
Little did you know, Javy had told everyone about your conversation earlier. Not because he was a gossip but because he was worried about you. It was rare for you to open up to the squad about your relationship, but it wasn’t hard to guess what happened behind closed doors. They all worked with Viper, for one, and they were familiar with his temperament. Not only that, but you dropped off the face of the Earth a few months after you started dating him, and it didn’t take a genius to put two and two together.
‘I don’t know why you’re still with him, Y/N. He’s an ass.’
‘I know,’ you sighed, frowning into your drink. ‘It’s just not as straightforward as just leaving. I still love him. If I can make this work, I don’t have to start all over again with someone else.’
Nat nodded in understanding. ‘I get wanting to make it work, but at what cost? You don’t see your friends, and he uses you as an emotional punching bag. You can’t even come to the beach with us without him checking on you every five minutes,’ she reached over the table and took your hand. ‘He’s killing you.’
This was the first time someone had spoken their mind to you about the situation. While you already knew all of it, hearing it from one of your best friends hit home. Vodka made you emotional, and if not for Bradley, you would have broken down there and then.
He walked up to the table and engulfed you in a hug, practically pulling you off your stool. You pressed your face into his shirt, inhaling the scent of clean cotton and sandalwood. Half expecting Elijah to spring out and catch you in the act, you reluctantly pulled away.
‘Hey, Bradley.’
‘Hey yourself, stranger. Can’t believe you’re gracing us with your presence.’
‘I know, it’s been a while.’
‘A while? Try six months,’ he glanced at your almost empty glass and Nat’s empty bottle of Heineken. ‘Can I buy you lovely ladies a drink?’
‘Do you even have to ask?’ Nat retorted.
‘What’re you drinking, darlin’?’ He asked you.
You smiled sheepishly. ‘Sex on the beach.’
‘I can make that happen.’ He smirked.
Luckily, you didn’t have to come up with a response to that remark because he turned around and headed to the bar. You locked eyes with Nat, and both of you burst out laughing.
Just like that, all the negativity you’d been feeling dissipated like rain against hot tarmac.
Bradley came back with the drinks, and the three of you took the opportunity to catch up while the others finished their pool game. You shouldn’t have been as surprised as you were to find out that you’d missed a lot. Bradley had started dating one of the medics, but the relationship had crashed and burned almost immediately. He hadn’t bothered trying to meet anyone else since. Nat, after watching all her friends have such bad experiences in the dating world, had decided she was better off alone.
‘Honestly, I don’t blame you.’ You told her.
‘You should dump Viper,’ she said with a devilish grin. ‘And we can have a hot girl summer.’
Bradley laughed. ‘Can’t say I ever imagined you saying that, Nix.’
‘Isn’t that what it’s called now? We can’t be that out of touch, surely.’
‘I don’t wanna think about how old I am.’ You said, picking up your phone to see if you’d missed any texts from Elijah. You hated to think what kind of argument missing one of his calls would start.
Nat and Rooster shared a knowing look. ‘It rings, you know? Out loud.’
Being this transparent was embarrassing.
‘I think I’m going to confiscate this for now.’ Ignoring your protests, Bradley swiped your phone and tucked it into his pocket. ‘If he calls or texts, I’ll let you know.’
You were tipsy enough not to try and take your phone back but not tipsy enough to be unbothered by the idea of Elijah calling and you not picking up.
‘If he calls, I need it back straight away,’ you told him sternly. ‘If I don’t pick up, I’ll never hear the end of it.’
Bradley rolled his eyes, but you knew it wasn’t aimed at you. He hated Elijah the most of all your friends. Perhaps sensing some tension, Nat slid off her stool and grabbed your arm, practically yanking you off yours.
‘Let’s go pick a song,’ she suggested. ‘We can get more drinks on the way back.’
Since it had been so long since you last visited The Hard Deck, she let you choose. You picked Rebel Yell by Billy Idol, your mum’s favourite. Admittedly, you’d been missing your home town a lot more than usual lately, perhaps because you were in such a weird place mentally. Things must be worse than you thought if you were considering running home with your tail between your legs.
As the night went on, you got drunker and drunker. Bradley watched with a bemused grin as you dragged Bob off to the jukebox again, since he was the easiest person to coerce into doing things. How Bradley wished it was him you were clinging to. Not that he was jealous of Bob—because that would be like being jealous of a puppy—he just desperately wanted to be the object of your affection.
While you and Bob went to change the music, Bradley struck up a conversation with Natasha and Reuben, who erupted into laughter when you pulled Bob’s arm so hard he almost toppled over.
‘It’s nice to have Y/N out, huh?’ He observed.
Nat looked at him like he was the biggest dickhead in the world. ‘Come on, Bradshaw. He might be an ass, but she’s got a boyfriend.’
Bradley sipped his beer, desperately trying to come up with a believable response. Reuben smirked knowingly, which only made Bradley more annoyed.
‘I don’t have a thing for Y/N.’
‘Whatever helps you sleep at night, man.’
‘Come on, Payback. You too?’
Reuben shrugged. ‘Doesn’t take a genius to work it out. You look at her like she’s God’s gift.’
The reason Bradley looked at you like you were God’s gift is because you were, but nobody was supposed to know that.
‘Why do women stay with guys that treat them like shit?’ Bradley asked.
‘Depends on the woman,’ Natasha started. ‘But if you mean Y/N, it’s because she can’t do anything halfway. She told me earlier that it’s because she doesn’t want to start over with someone new, but I don’t think that’s it. She just loves so hard, and it takes a lot out of her. Why would she wanna start the process all over again if she already has someone?’
Bradley was incredulous. ‘Erm, I don’t know, maybe because he’s emotionally abusing her.’
You and Nat were close. In a way, she knew you better than you knew yourself, so she was the best person for Bradley to ask about things. Now, however, he was kind of regretting opening his mouth. Knowing why you were staying with a guy who treated you so badly didn’t make it easier to accept like Bradley thought it would; it only filled him with white-hot rage.
‘It’s not as easy as just leaving. She has to come to it on her own.’
‘Yeah,’ Reuben chimed in. ‘You can’t convince Y/N of shit.’
Natasha scoffed. ‘Yup, and believe me, I’ve tried.’
‘So what, we just sit around and watch him ruin her?’
‘Y/N’s a smart cookie and one of the strongest people I know. She’ll come to her senses, and when she does, we’ll be here.’
‘You know, I read somewhere once that you can’t save anyone. You can only hold their hand while they save themselves.’
Nat raised a brow. ‘Damn, Payback. That might be the wisest thing you’ve ever said.’
‘Hey, why do you sound so surprised?’
‘You really want me to answer that?’
Bradley had a lot to think about. Realistically, he knew there was nothing he could do. His only option was to let things unfold naturally and have faith that things would work out exactly the way they were supposed to. The only problem was, that sounded too much like ‘sit back and do nothing,’ which didn’t feel right either.
Bradley needed another drink.
In fact, he was just about to head to the bar when you came bounding over, dragging poor Bob behind you.
‘Roooooooooster.’ You cooed.
His heart just about melted when you started batting your eyelashes at him.
‘What’s up, Y/CS?’
Everyone else was watching the interaction expectantly, waiting to hear what you were going to say next.
‘You’re really pretty.’
Bradley laughed, hoping you were too drunk to notice the blush he could feel creeping across his cheeks. ‘Thank you. You’re really pretty, too.’
Nat, sensing the need to intervene, came around and gently grabbed your arm. ‘Hey, let’s get you a glass of water, huh?’
‘But I need to tell Roo how pretty he looks.’
Bradley’s heart fluttered at your use of the pet name. He really didn’t want you to leave, but Nat was right. You needed some water and probably your bed.
‘You told him already, Y/N. And when you get back, you can tell him again.’
She started leading you away, and Bradley immediately missed your presence.
A very flushed-looking Bob took Nat’s empty stool. ‘That girl is somethin’ else.’ He murmured, pushing his glasses back up his nose. ‘I don’t think you should let her drink anymore.’
‘I’m not her keeper,’ Bradley responded. ‘Can’t stop her from doing anything.’
Bob shrugged. ‘Maybe so, but you’re all she talked about. You and the fact that there’s no Fall Out Boy in the jukebox. Pretty sure she called it a ‘fucking tragedy.’’
Bradley leaned forward. ‘What did she say about me?’
‘You know,’ Bob waved a hand dismissively. ‘You’re pretty. Her boyfriend is gonna kill her if he finds out she’s here with you because he thinks you have a thing for her.’
Bradley was at a loss for words. Reuben, however, was grinning like a fool. ‘What was that about not having a thing for her? Even her boyfriend’s caught on, man.’
‘How many times do I have to say I do not have a thing for-’
An annoyingly loud ringing sound interrupted Bradley’s sentence. It didn’t sound like his ringtone, but the noise was coming from his pocket. It took him too long to remember that he had your phone in his pocket, and that it was probably Viper calling. Sure enough, when he took out your phone, he was greeted by a sickeningly sweet photo of you and your boyfriend on the beach. You and Nat were still at the bar, and he knew he should just let it ring so you could call him back later.
But something had a hold of Bradley, and he answered the call and pressed the phone to his ear before he could really process what he was doing.
‘Y/N’s phone.’
A beat of silence, then some of the most colourful language Bradley had ever heard in his life.
‘Who the fuck is this, and why the fuck have you got my girlfriend’s phone?’
‘Y/N can’t come to the phone right now. She’s at the bar with her friend, gettin’ another round of drinks, and I just know hearing your voice would ruin her night. It’s ruined mine, that’s for sure. If you want, I can take a message, and she’ll get back to you in the morning.’
Reuben was nearly on the floor, trying desperately not to laugh in case Viper heard him. Bob had paled significantly, like he’d seen a ghost—or worse.
‘That you, Bradshaw? I just knew something was going on-’
Bradley hung up. The severity of the situation was beginning to hit, and despite the sick satisfaction he’d felt when he picked up the phone, he was regretting his decision already.
‘Y/N is gonna kill you, Rooster.’ Bob told him.
Nat made the sensible decision to cut you off, but she said you could stay out with them until closing if you promised to keep drinking water and stop fucking around with the jukebox. That was how you ended up in the corner of a booth with Bradley next to you to stop you from escaping.
Not that you’d want to escape.
Mickey had joined, and the guys were playing cards while you and Nat talked. She was catching you up on her life, and it made a change to think about someone other than Elijah for once.
That’s when it hit you.
You hadn’t checked your phone in hours, and you dreaded to think how many texts and calls you’d missed.
‘Bradley, can I have my phone?’
He set his hand of cards down on the table and reached into his pocket. When you reached out to take it, he pulled away.
‘Before I give this to you, I need to tell you something.’
A wave of nausea hit you.
‘What? What’s going on?’
‘Viper called about an hour ago. You were at the bar, and I didn’t know what to do, so I answered it.’
Reuben leaned forward in his seat. ‘Oh, this is about to be good.’
You thought you knew what panic felt like, but up until this very moment, you had no idea. Bradley was lucky you didn’t throw up in his lap from the nerves.
‘What?’
‘I’m sorry, Y/N. I wasn’t thinking-’
You snatched your phone from him, ignoring the kicked-puppy expression he was sporting. A slew of angry text messages that were borderline abusive greeted you. You skimmed them quickly, not wanting to read too many in case you started crying in front of the entire squad.
What started out as the best night you’d had in a while quickly turned into the worst. Your boyfriend's hateful messages reminded you why you never went out and why this was the biggest mistake you could have made.
The worst part was you saw it coming.
‘Move,’ you said, grabbing your bag. ‘Bradley, let me out now.’
‘You can’t drive like this, Y/N. Let one of us take you home.’
Bradley sounded destroyed. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.
‘Move.’
He nudged Bob, who stood up so Bradley could climb out of the booth. You were close behind him, and when your feet touched the floor, you nearly keeled over. Bradley reached out to steady you, but you shook him off.
‘Y/N. You can’t leave like this. How are you gonna get home?’
Ignoring his pleas, you made a beeline for the exit. Nat shoved Reuben into Mickey, trying to hurry them out of the booth so she could follow you, but you were surprisingly fast for a drunk person. Bradley was right about one thing: there was no way you could drive in this state. You ducked around the corner so Nat couldn’t see you and sank to the floor. Hot tears prickled behind your eyes as you did the one thing you didn’t want to do, but the only thing you could do.
You called Elijah.
He didn’t answer the first, second, third, or fourth time.
Half an hour passed, and you didn’t move. At one point, you heard Bradley, Nat, and Reuben talking around the corner, coming up with a plan for where to look for you. They knew you were on foot because your car was still in the lot, and since you’d disappeared so quickly, you couldn’t have gotten far. If the situation weren’t so tragic, it would’ve been funny that you were hiding ten paces away, and none of them could find you.
It was getting very late. People were getting in their cars and leaving or jumping into Ubers. Soon, your Jeep would be the only car left. You couldn’t face the daggers, and you couldn’t drive home, so you picked yourself up and took a slow walk down the beach to where the water met the sand.
What a beautiful night to have your heart broken.
There was no way Elijah would ever forgive you for this, no way you’d ever be able to
convince him that nothing had happened between you and Bradley. The sane part of you knew that it was crazy to feel guilty for simply enjoying a night out with your friends, but the sane part of you rarely won these days. The part of you that loved Elijah was always loudest and knew this could never have gone any other way.
You were just about to resign yourself to calling a cab when you heard someone yelling your name from the top of the beach.
You either had the best or worst luck in the world because it was Bradley.
He made short work of the distance, giving you no time to come up with something to say. He looked otherworldly in the pale moonlight. His hair was slightly mused, and the same insane part of you that loved what it loved was whispering at you to run your fingers through it.
‘We’ve been looking all over for you, Y/N.’ He sounded very concerned as he pulled out his phone and texted the others to let them know you were safe.
‘I’m sorry, I just needed to be alone.’
You hadn’t even realised you were shivering until Bradley draped his Levi jacket over your shoulders.
‘You needed to be alone, or you needed to call Viper back?’
The tears threatened to make another appearance. ‘It’s none of your business.’
‘What makes you think it’s not my business? I care about you and don’t want to keep watching you get hurt.’
‘Then stop watching!’
Bradley recoiled, and you immediately felt awful. How Elijah spoke to you like that day in and day out without feeling guilty was a mystery to you.
‘I’m sorry, Bradley,’ you sighed, pulling his jacket tighter around you. ‘I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just very drunk and very emotional right now.’
He softened immediately and seemed torn about whether he should let you stand there freezing or pull you close. You hoped he wouldn’t try to pull you close because you didn’t think you’d have the guts to tell him no. Good feelings had been so incredibly hard to come by as of late.
‘Why are you still with him, Y/N?’ Bradley asked almost pleadingly.
Wow. He didn’t waste any time getting right to the point.
‘That’s a loaded question.’
‘I need you to explain it to me because it’s killing me.’
You thought about it for a moment, and Bradley waited with bated breath to hear what you had to say.
In the end, it was this: ‘I guess we accept the love we think we deserve.’
Until you said it out loud, this phrase held little meaning to you. Now that it was out in the open, it was very heavy. In the last few months you’d tried coming up with a decent explanation as to why you were staying with Elijah, and you fell short every time. Turns out all you needed to do was get drunk and have an honest conversation to figure it out.
Coming to the realisation that what you’d just said was true felt like being in freefall. Everything in your life was changing shape to fit around this ugly truth. The good things in your heart shied away in the face of this monstrous fact.
You didn’t think you deserved a healthy love.
Somehow, Bradley was more hurt by this than when you’d snapped at him earlier. He was staring at the ground, unable to meet your eye like you’d just told him he wasn’t worthy of love.
‘You don’t think you deserve to be happy?’
Hearing him say it was somehow even worse.
‘Apparently not.’
You were both quiet for a moment, and then, for whatever reason, you laughed.
‘This is news to me too.’
The waves crashed loudly, water lapping at your feet as the tide came in. You couldn’t stand out here having epiphanies all night.
‘Listen, Rooster, I need to go home. I’m sorry for snapping.’
‘I’ll take you home,’ he said quietly. ‘But we should talk tomorrow when you’re sober. Maybe we could get coffee.’
You shook your head. ‘After tonight, I don’t think that’s a smart idea. I’ll probably be spending tomorrow trying to salvage what’s left of my relationship.’
‘You’re not serious.’
‘I am.’
He opened his mouth to protest but then appeared to change his mind. You watched as all the fight he had left in him dissolved. There was nothing left for him to say, and he knew it.
The irritating birds that constantly chirped right outside your bedroom window woke you up. It was too damn early, and your head felt as though it was splitting open. When you sat up, you were hit by a wave of nausea so strong that you had no other choice but to sprint to the bathroom, smashing into the corner of your chest of drawers on the way.
Which was to say, it was a bad morning.
After you had puked up the entire contents of your stomach, you jumped straight in the shower, brushed your teeth, and did your skincare. At least if Elijah showed up at your front door, you wouldn’t look like you got super drunk last night, even though he’d probably already guessed.
When you checked your phone, there were still no notifications from him, and when you called, there was no answer. This wasn’t unlike him, but it had been almost twelve hours since Bradley picked up your phone, and you would have thought he’d have something to say by now.
To distract yourself from your impending doom, you threw open all the windows in your apartment, made your bed, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher—all the usual morning tasks. It seemed a shame to waste such a beautiful Saturday, but you doubted you’d enjoy any of your hobbies when you were this anxious and hungover.
With nothing else left to do, you set about making some breakfast.
Just as you put your bagel in the toaster, somebody knocked on the door.
Your stomach twisted itself into an impossibly tight knot. You were rooted to the spot, unable to move until whoever it was knocked a second time.
You looked through the peephole, expecting to see Elijah standing there with his dark eyebrows knitted together in frustration. It was the only scenario that had crossed your mind, so when you saw Bradley standing there, you were very surprised.
You took a deep breath and opened the door, greeted by the warm scent of sandalwood once again.
‘Bradley?’
He was holding two iced lattes, which you were betting were vanilla—your favourite. Elijah hadn’t done that for you since the first week of your relationship.
‘Hey, Y/N. Thought you could use this.’
He wasn’t wrong. You ushered him inside, and he headed to the kitchen, where he
perched himself on one of the stools at your kitchen island. This morning, he was sporting one of his more toned-down Hawaiian shirts and dark jeans. His eyelids drooped, and you wondered if he’d slept at all.
‘I was just about to make bagels. Want one?’
‘Sure, thank you.’
You busied yourself, putting bacon and eggs into a pan while he sipped his coffee, eyeing
you with the curiosity of someone who had come over to check you were all in one piece. Once he was satisfied that you were, he relaxed slightly.
‘Thank you for bringing me home last night. I really appreciate it.’ You told him earnestly.
‘You don’t need to thank me. You’d have done the same thing.’
‘True, but still. And I’m sorry for snapping at you.’
Last night was gradually coming back to you in flashes, like a supercut. Each time you remembered a new detail, you cringed internally.
‘You also don’t need to apologise. Has he called you?’
While the eggs and bacon were cooking, you toasted another bagel for Bradley and buttered yours. Even though you’d known him for years and been quite close until you got into a relationship, you were struggling to admit that you were pretty much being ghosted. It was already hard to walk around on base knowing that everybody was aware of how Elijah treated you. When you didn’t respond, Bradley took that as a no.
‘Well, that’s his problem,’ he spat. ‘You did absolutely nothing wrong. Maybe if he were less of a control freak, you would have felt like you could tell him you were out with us rather than hiding it, and then he wouldn’t have found out the way he did.’
The toaster popped, and you jumped. It felt like somebody had run a cheese grater over your nerves. Bradley ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath, clearly trying to reign in his anger.
‘I should apologise too,’ he continued. ‘I shouldn’t have answered your phone. It was a dick move, and I regretted it the instant I did it.’
You buttered the second bagel, put one egg on each of the bottom halves, and stacked two pieces of bacon on top before adding the top part. You didn’t say a word the entire time, and Bradley was starting to get antsy.
‘Y/N. Please talk to me.’
‘I don’t know what to say, Roo. I’m struggling even to think straight right now. He knows it drives me fucking crazy when he’s having a go at me and doesn’t respond. I don’t understand why he does it, knowing how it makes me feel.’
Bradley sighed. ‘Because he doesn’t give a shit how you feel. He doesn’t give a shit about anything other than himself and how he feels.’
This wasn’t news to you, but again, it was more impactful to hear someone else say it out loud. Really, how long could you keep this up? Whether you thought you deserved it or not, you were starting to wonder if you might be better off alone than with someone who made living feel like walking next to a cliff with your eyes closed.
You pushed Bradley’s plate across the counter and picked up your bagel. Eating felt impossible, but getting through the day with this headache would be excruciating if you didn’t at least try.
‘Come and sit down,’ Bradley said. ‘It’s not good to eat standing up.’
Despite everything, you managed to laugh. And this time, it was a real laugh. ‘Why?’
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. ‘I don’t know. My mum used to say it all the time.’
You did as you were told, and you walked around the island, taking the seat next to him. The two of you ate in companionable silence, periodically taking sips of your coffees. This was how easy it should have been with Elijah.
When you were both finished, Bradley put your plates, pan, and utensils into the dishwasher. You were too tired to tell him to stop.
‘Thanks for breakfast.’
You smiled. ‘Thanks for being you.’
Bradley’s smile mirrored your own. Unsaid words hung in the air, but you didn’t know what to say. His leaving didn’t feel right, but if he stayed and Elijah made an appearance, he’d most definitely break up with you.
But wasn’t this radio silence all the confirmation you needed that things were pretty much over, anyway? You were starting to wonder if this weekend had all happened exactly the way it was supposed to. Your eyes were indeed open, that was for sure. Of course, you’d known that the relationship wasn’t healthy, but this weekend had really driven the point home.
‘Do you wanna go for a walk along the beach?’ You asked, hopefully. ‘We could grab some ice cream at that little place next to the arcade.’
Bradley didn’t just look happy. He also looked relieved that you weren’t asking him to leave.
‘I’d love to.’
It was a beautiful Spring day, perfect walking weather. Honestly, it was the last thing Bradley expected you to suggest, so he jumped on the idea before you could change your mind and send him home.
Because he really didn’t want to go home.
He’d sensed that you didn’t want to talk about Viper, and you’d yet to bring up your conversation on the beach last night. Bradley was beginning to doubt that you even remembered everything you said—all that nonsense about not deserving a healthy love. Bradley didn’t take you as a liar, which meant you believed that you weren’t deserving of happiness. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt quite so sad and also angry at the same time. So many emotions were warring for the top spot in his heart, and as a result, his brain was incredibly foggy.
A walk along the beach with you was perhaps the only cure.
‘Did you hear about Hangman?’ Bradley assumed you hadn’t.
‘No?’
‘He’s getting deployed. He’s leaving next month.’
‘How long is he going for?’
‘Six months.’
You whistled lowly. ‘Damn.’
‘I know. I think he’s looking forward to it, though. I sure am.’
‘You know, I don’t think you hate him half as much as you say.’
Bradley chuckled. ‘Maybe not, but being nice to him wouldn’t feel right. Even after everything that happened on the mission.’
The two of you walked down the beach, chit-chatting about anything that came to mind. You were about halfway to the ice cream place when your phone pinged. Bradley guessed it would be Viper, but he never could have guessed what the message said.
It was a photo of you and Bradley walking down the beach, taken from behind. The picture had been forwarded to you from someone else.
E<3: always knew you were a slut.
You inhaled sharply, obviously hurt by the words on the screen. Not two seconds later, he sent another text.
E<3: PS: we’re fucking over.
The two of you had stopped walking. Bradley watched over your shoulder as you furiously typed a reply and deleted it again. You turned to face him, and his heart just about broke when he saw the tears streaming down your cheeks. You didn’t need to say a word. He pulled you close to him, wrapping you tightly in his arms. You stayed that way for a while, sobbing into his Hawaiian shirt as he rubbed your back soothingly. When you eventually pulled away, the first thing you did was apologise.
‘There’s nothing for you to be sorry for, sweet girl. He’s the one who should be sorry.’
You sniffled. ‘I don’t know what to reply.’
‘Leave it for now,’ he said. ‘We can go get ice cream, take a slow walk back to yours. Then I’ll help you think of something.’
‘I don’t know if I feel like ice cream anymore.’
‘Well, that’s too bad because I do. Ice cream is the best remedy for heartbreak.’
‘Did your mum tell you that too?’
‘She sure did.’
It turns out Bradley was right about ice cream being the best remedy for heartbreak. The two of you sat on the wall, watching the waves while he munched on a mint chocolate chip cone and you butterscotch. It was hard to tell whether it was the best ice cream you’d ever had or if it was because you were with Bradley. If you remembered correctly, you’d had ice cream from this same place with Elijah before, and it hadn’t been this nice.
Thinking back on your memories with him only made you want to cry, so you did your best to shove them to the back of your mind. Despite the fact that he was actually a very shitty person, he’d been a dream at the beginning, and that didn’t just go away. The happy moments didn’t just suddenly turn to ash, as much as you wished they would.
‘What are your plans for the rest of the night?’ Bradley asked around his ice cream cone.
‘I don’t know, Roo. I’m kinda working on a minute-to-minute basis right now.’
Bradley nodded. ‘Okay, well, what would you say to junk food run and a movie night?’
‘With you?
‘If you want to. I just don’t think it’s good for you to be alone.’
‘I don’t want you to feel like you have to babysit me.’
‘Is that what you think this is?’
‘No, but I don’t want to be a burden. Or a charity case.’
‘Y/N, you’re none of those things. I always want to spend time with you. Just so happens I have a good excuse today.’
You frowned into your ice cream. ‘Okay. As long as you’re sure.’
The two of you finished your ice cream and took a slow walk back to your apartment. When you got in, the first thing you noticed was a framed photograph of you and your now ex-boyfriend on the side table in the hallway. When your bottom lip started trembling, Bradley picked up the photo, put it face down, and then proceeded to run around your apartment and take down any others. It didn’t feel like the same place you’d left a few hours ago. It was haunted by memories that would never look right in the light of day. Even the happiest ones from the start were tainted with the ugliness of his cruel words and actions.
‘This place is so depressing.’ You grumbled.
Bradley stood in front of you with a stack of photos and one of Elijah’s t-shirts.
‘It’s not. It’s your home, Y/N. We just have to pack away his stuff and put it all in a box.’
‘An ex-boyfriend box.’
Bradley smiled sadly. ‘Yeah, exactly. It might be over, and he might be a dick, but it was still a big part of your life, and it’s important to keep the memories safe in case you wanna look back on them someday.’
‘Or in case I wanna burn them.’
‘That too.’ Bradley chuckled
So you helped him gather all the mementoes from your relationship and put them in an old Dr Martens box. It all looked pretty pathetic, packed away in a shoebox.
‘I found one of his hoodies and a few other things.’ You called from your bedroom. ‘Can you grab me a bin bag from the top of the fridge?’
You heard shuffling, and then Bradley was standing in the doorway holding out the bag you requested.
‘Damn, he doesn’t even get one of the nice Trader Joe's bags?’
‘No,’ you giggled. ‘He gets a trash bag because his stuff is trash, and he’s trash.’
You weren’t really at the stage where you believed that just yet, but saying it was really satisfying, and it felt good to laugh. Fake it till you make it or whatever.
‘Want me to give it to him tomorrow?’
‘Thanks, but I should really be the one to do it. I haven’t even texted him back.’ You thought about it for a moment and then continued. ‘Would it be cheeky of me to ask if you’ll come with me? Maybe Nat, too? I could use some moral support, and he’s less likely to make a scene if the two of you are there.’
‘Of course I’ll be there. I won’t say anything unless you need me to or unless he starts. I can’t make that same promise for Nix, though.’
‘I haven’t even told Nat yet,’ you sighed. ‘I don’t think I wanna talk about it right this second.’
‘I’ll text her. Don’t worry about it.’
From your spot on the floor, you looked up at Bradley. The evening sunlight was streaming in through the windows, casting an ethereal glow around him.
‘You should change your callsign to angel.’
A look of pleasant surprise flickered across his handsome features. ‘Why?’
‘Because you’re literally my angel, Roo. I don’t know what I’d have done without you.’
Half an hour later, Bradley convinced you to go on a junk food run with him in the Bronco. He said tonight was a mandatory, post-breakup wallowing sesh because if you bottled up your feelings now, you’d explode later at a much more inconvenient time.
The two of you had been screaming along to all the classic breakup songs: All Too Well by Taylor Swift (yes, he knew all the words), Who Knew by Pink, What About Now by Daughtry… He’d driven the long way to the store because you got so into it.
Now, as you scanned the shelves in Target, you asked: ‘What is it about screaming sad songs that makes you feel better?’
‘It’s cathartic,’ Bradley explained. ‘Helps you relieve the strong feelings.’
‘You know a lot about heartbreak.’
‘Well, I’ve had my fair share of sadness.’
You froze. ‘That was insensitive of me, I’m sorry.’
Bradley took the packed of Reeses Pieces from your hands so he could hold them. ‘Can you make me a promise?’
‘What?’ You asked sceptically.
‘Promise you’re gonna stop apologising to me all the time. You have nothing to be sorry for.’
‘Sorry.’ You smiled sheepishly.
He shook his head. ‘That’s not what you’re supposed to say.’
‘Okay, fine,’ you huffed. ‘I promise to stop apologising all the time.’
‘Thank you,’ Bradley said, releasing your hands reluctantly. ‘Now, pick out five more things.’
‘Five? There’s already five things in the basket.’
‘Did I ask?’
‘I’m gonna get fat.’
‘Don’t be so ridiculous. Wallowing means junk food, and I don’t know if you’re looking at the same basket I am, but that’s not enough junk food.’
‘Christ Almighty, okay.’
He helped you pick out five more things, and then you headed to check out.
‘What movies are good for wallowing?’ You asked.
‘Well, we have to start with a couple of sad ones and then finish with a happy one.’
The cashier told you your total, and Bradley tapped his card before you could even get yours out. You gave him a withering look.
‘I would’ve paid for that. You paid for the ice cream.’
‘So?’
‘So we should take it in turns.’
Obviously, he carried the bags as well, and as you walked back to the Bronco, he couldn’t help but wonder if Viper made you take it in turns. If you were his girl, you’d never have to tap your card.
‘What’s your favourite sad movie?’ He inquired.
You opened the trunk for him so he could put the bags in. ‘Technically, it’s not a sad movie. But there’s this part in Inside Out…Wait, have you watched it before? I don’t wanna spoil it for you.’
‘The part where Bing Bong gets forgotten?’
You gasped. ‘How did you know?’
‘Because it gets me every single time.’
The way you looked at him in that moment, like he had hung the moon in the sky—God, it was too much.
‘We’ll start with Inside Out,’ he told you, opening the passenger door so you could climb in. ‘And then we’ll think of something else.’
Without giving much thought to what he was doing, Bradley found himself buckling your seatbelt for you. You were holding your breath, and it dawned on him how easy it would be to kiss you if he were that sort of guy.
And as much as he wanted to kiss you, he was not that sort of guy. He wasn’t about to take advantage of the fact that some asshole had just taken a sledgehammer to your very beautiful heart.
‘Can we watch Bridge To Terabithia?’ You whispered.
Bradley hadn’t moved, and you were so close that he could feel your warm breath on his cheek.
‘Are you trying to break my heart, Y/N?’
‘Yes. I want you to feel my pain.’
He was grinning the whole way around the car to the driver’s side and still grinning when he got in the car. You already had his phone in your hand, searching for more sad songs so you could continue your car concert on the way back to your apartment. He drove the long way again so the two of you could finish your rendition of ‘I Don’t Love You’ by My Chemical Romance, which Bradley didn’t know the words to. He tried his best, though, because you seemed to love it, and he couldn’t deny you anything.
By the time you got home, the sun had almost entirely set. While he set the snacks out on the coffee table, you went around lighting candles and switching on fairy lights. He’d never seen your apartment in the dark, and it was incredibly cosy. Even though it was relatively warm, you dragged all your blankets and pillows from your bed and made a little nest on the sofa. You were so adorable, it was hard to believe that someone could treat you badly.
If you were his girl, every night would look like this—except you’d be a lot happier, and there would be no tears.
Halfway through Bridge To Terebitha, you fell asleep. Bradley had been trying to keep his distance despite wanting to wrap you up in his arms, yet somehow—in your sleep—you’d ended up with your legs in his lap. He’d frozen at first, but once he realised you were dead to the world, he allowed himself to rest his hands on your knees. Really, it was that or sit with his arms crossed, and that would be silly.
For the duration of the movie, his attention flickered between you and the TV. Every time he tried paying attention to what was happening, his eyes wandered back to your peaceful face. He marvelled at your astounding beauty, the delicate way your eyelashes rested against the tops of your rosy cheeks. Bradley had always admired you, and you’d been good friends for years, but what he felt in that moment was something else entirely. By the time the end credits started rolling, he knew without a doubt that he’d set whole cities ablaze to keep you warm. Feelings as rapidly growing as his should have been terrifying, but Bradley wasn’t scared. Falling in love with you seemed to be as easy as wading out into a calm ocean on a warm summer’s day.
He knew you’d yet to learn that falling in love and staying in love should always be this easy. He knew it was going to take some time to convince you that you deserved healthy love, that the right person would never run away from you and keep turning around to make sure you were chasing them.
But Bradley was a patient man, and he would wait as long as he had to.
End of part one.
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Having a baby with Leon (Accidental Pregnancy)
Cw: Talks of sex but no actual sex, talks of abortion, and alcoholism
Vendetta Leon who meets you in a shitty bar one night. He brings you home on a whim to his pigsty of an apartment. Fully expecting you to go running immediately but you stay. Clearing a place off on the couch and talking over beers.
Vendetta Leon who's shocked when you ask for his number after waking up together. Curled up on the couch, cuddling someone for the first time in forever. Enjoying someone's company again instead of shutting people out.
Vendetta Leon that actually sees a friend in you. Knows you're good for him but feels like he doesn't deserve good with everything he's had to do to survive and protect people.
Vendetta Leon who tries keeping you at arms length. Labeling this as a friends with benefits situation. Nothing more. The first time you sleep together tends to replay in his mind a lot. Seeing how beautiful you were. How hungry you were for each other. How both of you seemed to aim to please. It was nothing short of perfection to him.
Vendetta Leon who gave you a key to his place without even thinking about it. It just be easier for the both of us. Or so he claims. Knowing he could easily just keep you away from his apartment, it's not like you didn't let him come over whenever he wanted. But no matter where you were home was with you. Even if he couldn't admit it.
Vendetta Leon who starts getting more and more stressed from work. Sees you almost every night and one thing always leads to another. Tipsy, buzzed or sober. It's been like this for months and he loves seeing you so frequently. But his brain keeps telling him he'll just mess it up if he tries moving past what you have right now.
Vendetta Leon who gets called away for work again. Needs to go off and save the world for the millionth time. Tells you he'll miss you while he's away. He didn't mean to, it just slipped out. But he doesn't take it back, he just waves it off. More concerned about how you said you weren't feeling well when he got to your place. Deciding to stay the night and just cuddle before he leaves in the morning.
Vendetta Leon who comes back from New York City. A bit paranoid because you haven't returned any of his texts or calls. Hoping something bad didn't happen while he was away. Walking into his apartment he drops his bag in shock...
Vendetta Leon who stares at a spotless apartment. Everything back in place where it should be. He finds a letter and your key on the coffee table. The letter saying how you can't deal with this anymore and you couldn't say goodbye without at least giving him a gift of a clean home and hopefully a clean conscience.
Vendetta Leon who gets upset, trying to call you repeatedly. This doesn't feel like you. Did you find someone? Did you not actually care about him the entire time?! You shared so much with each other, he trusted you enough to let you in.
Vendetta Leon who slams his phone into the couch as his calls go straight to voicemail. Something's wrong... He can tell. He knows you well enough that you wouldn't be ghosting him like this without a reason. So he decides, against his better judgement, to just go over to your apartment.
Vendetta Leon who decides to knock until you open the door, he's a stubborn man and wants answers. The door opens, an older man glaring at him.
"Yes?" He didn't expect you to have company over. Who the hell is this? Have you actually found someone in the span of a few days? Was he really that replaceable?? His attention snaps back, the older man staring him down. He stutters out your name before clearing his throat.
"Is she here?"
"My daughter's at the doctor's with her mother right now." Oh, this is your father. Thank God. "She should be back soon."
"Is everything okay?" The older man sighs, rubbing his eyes, he looks tired and agitated.
"It better be, she's carrying my grandchild."
Leon who feels his heart fall through his body. You're pregnant... And he's definitely the father. There's quite literally no way he isn't, you've been spending almost every waking minute together in the past 6 months unless you're the next virgin Mary.
Leon, the father of your child who listens your father ramble about some bum knocking up his precious babygirl... He bites his tongue, asking your father to PLEASE make sure you call him.
Leon who sits in his clean apartment with not so clean conscience. Feeling the dirtiest he's ever been before. How could he be so stupid and careless? The few times you didn't use protection he'd thought nothing would happen. He knows you take birth control. It's got a high success rate, he wouldn't have to worry. It's not like he didn't want kids, he even liked loved the woman who'd be blessing him with a child.
This could be his last chance of normalcy.
Leon who nearly throws himself towards his phone when it vibrates. A text from you. Announcing that you'll be coming over.
Leon who feels his bones vibrate seeing you for the first time in days, the glow on your skin more obvious that he knows you're carrying his child. You look beautiful, though you always look beautiful.
"Look..." You storm past him into his own apartment. He shuts the door behind you and follows you to the couch. "I knew you'd freak out if I told you... We're both kind of fucked up I didn't want-"
"Are you keeping the baby?" He's blunt and to the point when asking his questions. He always is.
"I don't know... The doctor said I'm probably only a month along." You look so unsure of yourself. "What... What do you think I should do?"
"Keep them." Your eyes go wide as he smiles softly.
"What?"
"Keep the baby... I want it. I want you. If you'll have me." You stare in shock, blinking as he steps forward and brings you into his chest. "Did you think I would freak out and bail?"
"Leon... We're both heavy drinkers and we've been dancing around each other since we met. I figured cutting you loose was the best option."
"Well, then we'll just have to clean up our acts together I guess... For ourselves and the baby."
Leon who reassures you you can both grow. Put in the effort of fixing yourselves. Together.
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✿ 》 Will you talk to me again?
╰⧼ 🪻 note.. ⧽ ; I don't expect this to do well because its not smut but it'd be nice !! reblogs appreciated, support your creators :)
╰⧼ ☀️ features.. ⧽ ; @saelique angst collab!! dazai x gn!reader, WC ; 784
╰⧼ 🌙 contents.. ⧽ ; angst, reader isn't alive, letter from dazai. he's trying very hard to keep himself stable but it's not working™.
To my dearest ______ .
It's been a while, hasn't it? I hope you don't mind me writing to you like this, it's simply been too long. I'm sure you're still angry at me, so seeing you physically isn't my best interest right now! haha, I'm sorry. you know I'm just joking around, don't you? I'd love to see you in person. I'm sure you would've punched my arm if you heard me out loud right now, wouldn't you? I'm glad I'm spared of the bruises.
what does someone put in a letter? that's what I was asking myself before I even began writing. I decided that the best way to do something like this was to just write whatever I feel true as pen touches paper. I hope it makes sense to you, at the least. if I'm pouring my heart out on some paper only for it to be misunderstood, it feels like a waste, no?
though, i'd be lying if i said it wouldn't be rather cute to see you try to fathom what I mean. did you know you scrunch your nose like a bunny sometimes when you're reading? I'm sure you're doing that now too. you'll get wrinkles very at this rate ..
but anyway, I managed to prank kunikida the other day! you remember that hair dye trick I'd told you about? I managed to break into his apartment and swap out his shampoo, at last! he came into work the next day with black hair, it was hilarious, you should've been here! he was so angry with me. beat me black and blue!
oh, _____. I got a new heated blanket for our bed, you know? it took a while to save up for it, and I had to cut out some other necessities, sure. but it makes everything so much better! I hate cold beds, I'm sure you know that better then anyone. haha, back before we moved in together when I'd break into your apartment and crawl into bed with you. I'm sorry for the amount of locks I broke, but your place was so cozy!
... you know, it's been really hard without you here. I miss you so painfully, and I don't mean to call into the void without even an echo, but its killing me to pretend I'm fine about any of this. I'm not fine with this, how am I supposed to be? I wish it was just a bad dream.
I don't want to have to write letters to you anymore, ______. I don't want to have to buy heated blankets to try and stop my arms from aching for your warmth. I don't want you to be angry with me, I'm sorry I didn't apologise to you before you were gone. I shouldn't have been so stupid.
i had so many words on my mind that I was too afraid to say. maybe if I faced myself and told you 'I love you' it would've stopped you leaving.
have you met odasaku yet? has he told you any stories of his time? I wish I could hear your voice again. I wish you could answer my questions. even to hear you scoff at my stupidity again would heal me. I'm sorry I was annoying, I just wanted your attention. it stings knowing I'll never get it again.
I can't keep repeating to myself that you're not gone. I can't keep buying your perfume and pretending that you're in the next room over. your pillow doesn't smell like you anymore.
I wish I could apologise properly. I wish I could've stopped you from leaving the house that night. I wish I could kill myself to join you and yet I know we won't cross paths again in the afterlife. you were always too good for me, ______. i was nothing compared to you.
i picked up a homeless dog yesterday. you'd always wanted a puppy, I'm sorry I never let you bring one home. I named it after you. im trying to get used to them, I promise. if I couldn't save you, I'll save your name.
I'm sorry. if I continue writing, my throat will hurt more. its strange, isn't it? crying makes your throat sore. I forgot what it was like for a while, I remember laying in your arms wondering if I'd ever have a reason to cry again. now I can't seem to help myself.
keep your wings clean for me, white looks good on you. its a shame you couldn't wear the wedding attire i wished to see you in one day. you would've looked amazing.
I'll write again, missing you is the greatest honor.
sincerely, your osamu.
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Simon Riley x Dog Sitter! Reader pt. 2
<- Previous
Warnings: light cursing, light nsfw, Simon being the tiniest bit of a creep
A/N: so originally this was just a fluffy thought I had a few weeks ago... it's slowly turning into a longer, multi-chapter series, and Simon is a bit darker than I had intended him to be... but the story is still going to stay relatively normal (there will be full NSFW further down the line, lol)!
Sure enough, Simon had emailed you by Tuesday afternoon. You noticed how... unprofessional it was. Not that he had been rude or obscene, but it was obviously written by someone who never had to write many emails for his career.
here is riley's routine. she likes walks, usually 3 or 4 a day. she eats one scoop in the morning and one at night. she doesn't finish her food all at once, but she'll come back to it. if you're gonna give her more cookies, just two per day. fill water every morning. around the house, if you could just dust and clean up any dog hair, that would be great. let me know if meeting me tomorrow at 0900 for the key works. I ship out thursday. thanks.
Simon.
You chewed your thumb nail, reclining on your couch with a confused expression. Was he irritated with you for some reason? He didn't show it at the interview if he did have any hostile feelings... you reminded yourself that he was a rather gruff man, and maybe that just bled into his written words, too. You rolled your shoulders and started working out your reply.
Hello Simon! Tomorrow works perfect for me, I'll be there by 9 am!
Does Riley have any favorite places she likes to go? Any particular spots or trails she enjoys? Also, are there any rules you have for her, like being on the couch? Is she ok going to the dog park? Lastly, does she take any medications I should be aware of?
See you soon!
You sent the message, sighing and dropping your head back against the arm of the sofa. You were honestly thankful that you'd gotten the job, even if Simon was a rather stiff client. You finally quit your shitty job, and while you did still have babysitting your niece and nephew, you never charged for that - the only time you were "paid" for it was when you took them out somewhere fun, and your sister forced you to accept money for the admission fee.
So this gig fell into your lap at the perfect time. And the fact that you had beat every other person Simon had interviewed made your ego soar. It wouldn't be a bad idea to make a career out of this, you thought.
Your phone dinged - you held it above your face, and saw that Simon had already responded. You sat upright and opened the email.
she only takes aspirin when her leg flares up. no more than twice a day. no favorite trails, we just go around the block a few times. she can sit on the couch, my bed too, but she'll need help getting up. no human food is the only other rule. never took her to a dog park, but if you really want to, that's fine. she's good with other dogs.
Simon.
You frowned. Walking the same block every day, multiple times each day, sounded awful. It wasn't even close to animal neglect, but you couldn't imagine walking the same route every single time. If it didn't drive Riley insane, it certainly would for you.
You read back over the email, your eyes lingering on "if her legs flare up." Simon had never discussed Riley having arthritis with you - and you sincerely hoped that was the reason she had leg pain, and nothing else. You made a mental note to ask him about it tomorrow as you began to write your reply.
Understood. Thanks again!
--------------
"Here's the basement." Simon said, leading you down the stairs and into a dullish room. It had a cheaply-manufactured desk, what appeared to be a dining chair (not matching the dining set upstairs), a stuffed bookshelf, and some cardboard boxes filled with paper. A fan stood in the far corner, and next to it was the washing room. Much like what he had shown you of the rest of the house, it was bland and drab.
You looked around, letting out a polite noise of approval. Truth be told, Simon's life seemed awfully boring to you. Your mother had always told you that military men were always overly practical, in more than just home decor. They never cared much for the environment around them, as long as there was no mold, or anything similar. But you had never expected it to be so brutally true.
You knew he had a life outside of his home - from the way he described it, he was usually deployed more often than he was in his own home country. But you wondered - what did he do for fun, besides watch the telly? Did he have friends, and were they all like him? Any hobbies?
"If for whatever reason y' need to clean up a stain, you can find solution in there." He said, pointing to the washer room. "Other than that, nothin' much to see down 'ere."
You followed him as he trudged back up the stairs. Riley was sat upright on the floor, watching you and Simon move about the house with an observant expression.
"The only other things I'll ask you to do is hoover n' dust when it looks like it needs it." He said, leaning against the kitchen counter. "There really isn't much else t' do; of course, if you do see anything that needs fixin' you can always text me." He rolled his head from side to side, wincing as he worked out a crick in his neck. "Might not answer immediately, but I'll see it."
You nodded, standing in the walkway of the kitchen. Even with him leaning against the counter, muscles hidden under his sweatshirt, he was huge. For a brief moment, you imagined what he looked like on the field, dressed in his uniform and holding a gun - but you quickly shooed the thought from your mind before it had the chance to latch on and fester. "Gotcha. And just so I know, do you let Riley sleep with you?"
Simon paused in confusion before he responded. "Come again?"
"Like- you know, if I crash on the couch, is she allowed up with me?" You said, shifting your weight. You couldn't quite tell if Simon was irked by your question, or if he was genuinely confused.
He paused again. "Uh, yea, that's fine. If y' don't mind waking up covered in 'er slobber."
You laughed. "Nah, I'm used to it. A little drool never bothered me. Although, if I do need to wash up, am I alright to use the shower? Or would you rather I use my own back at my flat?"
Suddenly, it clicked in Simon's head. You were planning on sleeping at his house.
He had assumed you would just stop by for walks and meals - he didn't expect you to actually live here while he was gone, and he wasn't sure how it made him feel. He'd never had anyone else spend the night. Hell, no one ever visited, besides the rare occasions of the rest of the 141 stopping by. Even then, they never stayed for longer than a conversation or two.
But, once he took a second to think about it, he realized it might be better if you did stay - at least, while he was on missions. Riley would be bored out of her mind if she was alone that long, especially after spending the past several weeks with Simon constantly there. It would be good for someone to be there when he wasn't, and you seemed like you would be the best person for that, of course.
"Sure, 's fine." He said, rubbing the back of his head. "Just don't touch my shit in there."
"Don't worry about that..." You said quietly, "catch me dead and cold before I touch a 3-in-1 anything."
He chuckled and rolled his eyes. It was refreshing that you could handle his gruffness - most people treated him like a landmine, never wanting to say the wrong thing and set him off. You seemed to have taken life by the horns, like you weren't afraid to bite back at someone. He wondered if that was all for show, or if you really would snap back if he was to test you...
He pushed himself off the counter and reached into the drawer behind him, pulling out a spare key. He walked over to you and held it out. You were just about to take it, when he suddenly yanked it back.
You faltered. "Sorry...?"
"You lose this key..." Simon began lowly, "n' I'll frame you for murder. Understood?"
You gaped, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. He didn't really mean that... did he? You waited for him to laugh and say he was just joking... but he never did. His eyes bored into yours so intensely, making you shiver, as he waited for you to answer.
"Y-yes, sir. Understood." You said, voice wavering a bit.
He grunted in satisfaction, then handed you the key. You let out the breath you had been holding, then cautiously took the key, before immediately attaching it to your lanyard. You didn't want to take any chances at losing it - not after Simon's threat. You took a deep breath and smiled at him, trying to dust the exchange off of your shoulders.
"You can come 'round tomorrow after o' nine hundred, I'll be out by then." He said, turning sideways to moce past you and heading towards the door. You followed behind and rubbed Riley's head when you passed her; she let out a contented sound.
"Feel free t' use the kitchen if you'll be stayin' overnight." He opened the door for you and leaned against it.
"Will do, thank you!" You chirped, hovering on the landing outside of his house, right were you were two days ago. "Thank you for showing me around - good luck on your- mission- deployment, thingamajig!"
He huffed. "Promise I will, luv."
Your spine tingled in response to his comment. Get it together, don't get your knickers in a twist over a client. You thought. You straightened your posture and cleared your throat.
"Well, see you around!" You said with a smile, then hopped down the steps to your car.
Simon waved, taking a moment to watch you pull out of his driveway. He shut the door and leaned back against it, exhaling slowly through his nostrils.
He was an observant man - he had to be, with his occupation. Your reaction to being called "luv" didn't fly over his head. And it's not like Simon didn't know the effect he had on women... he knew how he looked, how he presented himself, and he saw the reactions it got him.
But with you, something felt different. He saw your reaction, and a part of him wanted to chase after it. To see what you would do if he continued to apply pressure to your weak spots. Would you blush? Would you call him out? Would you drop the gig altogether?
He thought about how easily the word "sir" had rolled off of your tongue. He thought about how you would look, all tuckered out on his couch, donned in whatever pajamas you decided to wear, your face peaceful and expression soft as you slept - he imagined you in his shower, the room filled with warm steam and the scent of your shampoo, water hitting your skin as you-
Riley barked, making Simon jolt where he stood. She stared at him, ears turned to the side as she whined. She could always tell when he began to dissociate, and knew just as much as he did that it wasn't a good sign.
Simon sighed, running a hand down his face. "Get it together, fuckin' creep." He muttered to himself. "I need a bloody hobby, f' Christ's sake..."
He blamed it on the upcoming mission. He would typically stress about it beforehand, and if there was anything else that could occupy his mind, he would fixate on it. Right now, unfortunately, you were the victim. But he buried it deep down into his subconscious - it wasn't fair to you.
He pushed himself off of the door and headed towards the washroom, adjusting his crotch as he went. He figured he should at least tidy it up a bit, since you would be using it. The only other people who had been in there were Johnny and Captain Price, and of course, they never cared if there were trimmers on the counter, or if the mirror had splotches from toothpaste residue.
Hopefully, he'd forget all about you - at least, while he was on the mission.
------------
Taglist: @my-queen-rhaenyra-targaryen @jisungswiftie @sweet-tooth4you @kennyis-aloser @hyyyxr @lahniu @dory-98 @naradae
Let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist!
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I think the etiquette of ask blogs is a forgotten art. what I'm saying is (imo) it's not that people don't want to play, it is they don't know HOW, and more importantly they don't understand that the game exists to begin with. obviously you do not have to teach people the rules because your time and energy is finite but idk. it feels like from some of your OOC responses that you assume people know the rules and are playing badly, but I genuinely think people (me) just don't know what you are wanting them (us) to do. and also they (i) don't know how to tell if they (i) are playing the game correctly.
An example I am genuinely confused about is, is inciting a "shut up" answer a signal that the game is being played correctly, because we are inciting a reaction from the character? or is a "shut up" answer a signal that we are playing wrong and need to do something different? I'm sorry. I really love your art and seeing the story unfold but I'm confused and I want to play and I don't understand how.
yeah ive had a couple people tell me this has been the first active askblog in a while and the concept of askblog etiquette has been forgotten- @thatneoncrisis and i made a diagram:
link to full-res image
a "shut up" reaction will hopefully show whether or not it's a closed path of exploration: if you have gideon sweating, going "pshhh its nothinggg" it means there is something worth exploring. if you have harrow slamming the door in your face, that is an advance that wont work on her
transcript under the readmore:
DEAD END QUESTION
ANON: CAMILLA DO YOU THINK HARROW'S HOT?
"Please stop talking to me."
This question is BAD because it's BLUNT, INCREDIBLY PERSONAL and founded on INCOMPLETE KNOWLEDGE of their relationship.
NOTE that its not that shitty questions will NEVER be answered, its that 1) they have a LOWER chance of being answered and 2) they have a HIGHER chance of being made fun of in character
gideon: haha who thinks harrow is HOT
DECENT INCONSEQUENTIAL QUESTION
ANON: CAMILLA DO YOU LIKE TO DO ANYTHING FUN WITH HARROW?
"Sure. We run a lot of errands together."
This kind of question may not advance the plot, as it is INCREDIBLY BROAD yet NONINVASIVE. They're good for quick 1-3 panel answers. May generally be met with a less EXCITING answer.
It might also be DIFFICULT TO ANSWER because a broad question
could include MULTIPLE ANSWERS - asking "do you guys go out"
could not be answered SUSTAINABLY, because i cannot draw
all the places they visit
ANON: EVERYONE, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CLOUD / WATER / MOLECULAR STRUCTURE / BONE / CAR / COFFEE BRAND/ BOOK CHARACTER?
me: "i have to do so much research"
NEAT QUESTION
CAMILLA HAS HARROW EVER ASKED YOU TO DO SOMETHING WITH HER SHE WAS EXCITED ABOUT?
"Yes, actually. She once invited me to [REDACTED], I didn't know she liked that sort of thing."
This question is SICK AS FUCK because not only do you learn something SUBSTANTIAL about the characters, you have stumbled upon A NEW PLOT BRANCH, one that actively deepens character connections and their past within the world. It specifically remarks upon a MEMORY* rather than AN OPINION and will typically be
LONGER.
Another good option is to PROMPT something following this:
ANON: CAMILLA, MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TAKING HARROW OUT TO DO [REDACTED] THAT SHE LIKES BEFORE XYZ?
and this can then spiral onward…
*DM, ONE TIME I ASKED ABOUT A MEMORY AND I GOT A RUDE ANSWER; WHAT DID I DO WRONG?
It's not that this topic can never be spoken about, it's about WHEN you asked it and HOW you said it, or even WHO you asked.
Some topics, like the nature of HARROW AND GIDEON'S UPBRINGING are too recent for them to talk about, it has only been TWO YEARS since they left and there are SPECIFICS about the
situation that the AUDIENCE hasn't discovered yet. There are things like GIDEON'S PARENTS that she CANNOT answer because she DOESN'T KNOW and answering multiple asks with I DON'T KNOW becomes repetitive and dull for both the DM and PLAYER.
BUT! She can learn! Over time, when the time is appropriate and feels the most natural for STORY PROGESSION. Think of it like a BAD ENDING in a visual novel. You START OVER and ask a DIFFERENT
QUESTION, or approach it from a DIFFERENT ANGLE. If Gideon reacts poorly to someone congratulating her leaving BAD CIRCUMSTANCES, consider talking to her about the FUTURE. Instead of trying to pry at Camilla to see if she had an INTIMATE
RELATIONSHIP with Pyrrha, try to ask about other things in that period of her life, like how they met or what caused her to move out.
FINALLY, if you'd like an ask to be answered out of character, your best bet would be to goto @notedchampagne and send it there. If you'd like an ask to be answered SINCERELY or you don't want SNARK, you can specify this in the ask, but know this blog may not be your thing.
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I owe you a kiss - Pt.8
Pairing: Minchan x femReader (mention of Changlix)
Word Count: 3478
Summary: Three weeks later, you're still feeling left out. Your therapist suggests communicating your worries to your husbands, but this doesn't go as planned.
Warnings/Tags: fluff, angst, therapy, verbal fight, anxious!chan, min gets defensive
A/N: After part seven I thought I'd be done with one part more tops...well. Once more, there'll be another chapter after this. Ideas/wishes are always welcome, I'll see what I can include🤭🖤
PART SEVEN | PART NINE
Three weeks later
“And you still don't want your husbands there for the appointments?” your therapist asks kindly. She has been for weeks now.
“No,” you shake your head firmly.
“May I ask why?” she asks patiently.
“Minho has a lot to deal with on his own because he remembers…also, he hates hospitals,” you start and nervously fidget with your hands. “Chan is…different.”
“Different, how?” she responds with another question.
“Distant is the wrong expression by now. He's trying to show me how much he loves me, but I can tell when he gets overwhelmed. He's still figuring things out, finding his place back home,” you tell, and she nods along, taking some notes. “I just…It's not all bad. He gets enough sleep now, makes sure to eat enough, and takes care of himself. It's just so different from what I remember.”
“And Minho? Is he getting the help he needs?” she asks.
“Yes, he sees his therapist every two weeks. Weekly, if it's really bad, she always manages to squeeze him in,” you tell her. “He tries to hide it, but he still has nightmares. He's able to drive again if he has to, but he gets anxious easily.”
“And where does that leave you?” she asks patiently, nodding at the wooden board between the two of you. There's a figure for Chan and another for Minho, standing close next to each other. Behind them are several smaller figures in darker colors, symbolizing their fears and struggles. And there's you. Yours is smaller than theirs, standing further away as if you're facing them.
“Alone,” you say, swallowing hard as you notice the distance between the figures. You hadn't thought much about it putting them there but they're painting a clear picture.
“Are you?” she asks gently.
“Sometimes,” you nod. “I don't feel like it when I'm alone with one of them. But if it's all three of us…I feel like they don't need me,” you say and subconsciously fondle the tiny head of the figure behind you, symbolizing your negative thoughts.
“Do you want to change something?” she asks, picking up on it, and you set it between yours and the ones of your husbands. “Add anything?”
“I'm scared of losing them,” you say, and she nods at you, letting you choose another one. You put it next to the one you just moved.
“May I comment on something?” she asks, and you nod. “You put your husband's fears and struggles behind them. But yours are in front of you, forming a wall between you all. Why's that?”
“Uh…because they've communicated theirs openly with me and are working on them. I didn't tell them I'm scared to lose them or all of the other thoughts running through my head,” you admit.
“Mhm, so theirs are out in the open…why aren't yours?” she asks patiently, and you drop back into the comfortable chair.
“I don't know,” you confess. “Maybe because I feel like I can't put more on their shoulders.”
“What happened when Chan told you he's scared to push your boundaries? What happened when Minho panicked?” she asks, flashing you a kind smile.
“I comforted them, told them it's okay,” you say quietly.
“And what makes you fear they wouldn't do the same with you?” she asks, making you lower your head a little embarrassed.
“I don't know,” you admit quietly, feeling tears burn in your eyes. “I should tell them, right?”
She hums gently. “Communication seems to be very important to keep your relationship intact as you're all dealing with certain things.”
-
You're exhausted after your session, but you know you'd have to open up more about your own fears. You follow her outside into the waiting area to pay and frown as you see Chan talking to the receptionist. “Channie?” you ask, confused, and he looks up with a soft smile.
“Hey, baby girl,” he says sweetly. “I thought I'd come pick you up, I finished early today.”
“Oh,” you nod and open your handbag to get your wallet. Chan introduces himself to your therapist, a warm smile brightening up his gorgeous face. You take out your card, and Chan gently shoves it back inside.
“Already handled,” he tells you.
“What? Channie, I had to pay for the whole month today,” you protest.
“I know,” he nods and gently zips your handbag closed. “It's fine.”
“Thank you,” you nod gently, smiling as his hand finds yours.
“You got everything?” he asks, and after you nod, you two say goodbye. Once you're in the elevator, Chan pulls you into a strong hug and kisses your hair. “You look like you've been crying. Rough one?” he asks caringly.
“Yeah,” you nod, burying yourself in his warmth. “Thank you for picking me up, Channie angel.”
“Of course,” he tells you, rubbing your back.
As you lean into Chan's embrace, you're reminded of the session's revelations. His warmth is reassuring, and it pushes against the shadows of your own unspoken fears. You wonder how to begin sharing them with him, how to bridge the gap that your silence had unknowingly broadened. "I have a lot on my mind," you finally say, your voice muffled against his coat.
Chan's response is soft, filled with his sweet patience. "I'm here whenever you're ready to talk," he assures you, his hand steady on your back. The simplicity of his promise makes something within you ease slightly. Perhaps sharing your inner conflicts wouldn't be as horrible as you feared.
“Thank you,” you nod gently.
Chan leads you outside the building and to his car, your hand still in his. “I wanted to take you out for coffee, but would you rather go home? Whatever you say is fine, beautiful,” he assures you, and tears brim your eyes.
“Our favorite spot?” you ask gently.
Chan smiles sweetly, dimples showing. “Yeah,” he nods, giggling as your face lightens up.
“I would love to,” you tell him.
-
When you're back home, the atmosphere shifts as Minho greets you both from the sofa. His smile is shy, a reflection of his ongoing struggles, yet sincere. His eyes light up when he sees you. "Everything okay?" he asks, a subtle concern in his tone.
You nod, squeezing Chan's hand before letting go. "We need to talk, all of us," you say, surprising even yourself with the firmness in your voice. Minho's brow furrows slightly, but he nods, understanding the seriousness of your tone. He gestures towards the empty space next to him.
As you all sit down, the weight of the moment hangs heavily in the air. You take a deep breath, gathering the courage to be as open as possible. "I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed," you begin, your voice stronger than you feel. "Not by you two specifically, but by everything. The fears I've kept to myself are... they're getting heavy."
Chan reaches for your hand again, his touch a silent promise. Minho leans in, ready to listen, to help shoulder the burden you've carried alone for too long. You share your fears—of losing them, of not being enough, of the future that seems so uncertain sometimes. With each confession, the walls you built crumble.
“You know you can always come to us when those thoughts get too much to handle, yeah?” Chan asks gently.
“You're always there for us, honey, don't forget we're there for you too,” Minho adds agreeingly, gently rubbing your thigh.
“I know…A lot of it is in my head, but I miss you two,” you admit. “I can't even explain it, but I miss you so much, and I just wish everything would be normal again,” you say, tears brimming your eyes.
“Y/nnie,” Minho whispers and shakes his head, tears brimming his own eyes. “We have to work with what we got. A lot has happened, and we can't pretend it didn't. We have to find our new normal,” he tells you and timidly takes your hand.
“But we're always here, yeah? You're still our beautiful wife,” Chan chimes in.
“Well, then start acting like it!” you suddenly burst out, and seeing the hurt and confusion lacing their features you quickly get up. “Start acting like I'm your wife and not just your crush you hold hands with from time to time.”
“Seriously?” Minho asks dangerously low and Chan swallows, already fearing an outburst of both of you. “Tell me you're joking.”
“I'm not,” you snap at him. “Obviously, I'm not.”
“What the fuck do you need me to do then? What do I have to change, huh?” he snaps right back at you, getting up as well.
“Guys, please,” Chan tries gently, but you both ignore him.
“I don't know! But it feels like shit, I'm just some bystander to you two being all lovey-dovey all day!” you burst out.
“You’re pushing us away, you know that?” Minho retorts, his voice dripping with frustration and hurt. “You say you feel left out, but you've got walls so high, I need a damn ladder to get over them! Every time I try to initiate anything more than the crush behavior, as you put it, you back away.”
“I-” you start, but you can’t form any clear sentence in response. Minho is right, you’ve been denying him to go any further repeatedly.
Chan’s face grows pale, his eyes wide as he watches the confrontation unfold, seemingly frozen in place. “Can we... please not do this?” he stammers, his voice cracking under the strain. “This isn’t helping any of us.”
“You stay out of this!” Minho snaps, turning his glare briefly to Chan. The sharpness in Minho’s tone slices through the tension like a knife, leaving Chan blinking back tears, his hands shaking slightly as he tries to compose himself. “You don’t have to participate in this fight, but let me say my piece.”
“I’m trying to help!” Chan protests weakly, his voice trembling at the thought of you getting into a serious fight. Minho and you almost never fought, but if you did, it was always ugly, hurtful, and fucking loud. He didn’t like it before, but he could barely take it now, getting overwhelmed. “I don’t want to see us fall apart over misunderstandings and hurt feelings!”
“Well, it’s not just about feelings, Chan!” you shout, your voice breaking as the tears start to fall. “It’s about being seen and heard in this relationship. I feel invisible most days, like I’m just here to fill a space between the two of you! It’s like you don’t care about me.”
Minho blinks at you, and you can tell he needs a moment to process your words. Then he explodes. “If you really feel this way, if everything I do is that useless and meaningless…then I don't know what the fuck I'm still doing here!”
“Minho,” you whisper in shock, and Chan's tears fall freely now.
“Minho, please don’t say that,” Chan shakes his head, looking at him anxiously.
“No, seriously, fuck this. Fuck you,” he says harshly, and you know he's trying to cover his hurt with anger. “I don’t care about you, yeah sure,” he goes on. “I stayed by your bedside for weeks, praying that you’d wake up. I have done nothing but respect your boundaries, give you the time you need, and make sure you’re comfortable. What the fuck do you need me to do to think I actually give a fuck about you?!” he shouts at the top of his lungs, and it has both you and Chan flinching heavily. It’s rare he loses composure like this. He’s breathing heavily once he’s done, staring at you with fierce but such vulnerable eyes it makes you sick. He nods to himself as you don’t answer and grabs his phone from the sofa. “You don’t even know what you need. How the fuck am I supposed to, huh?”
“Min, please,” Chan whispers, sensing how hurt his husband truly is behind his mask of anger.
Minho’s expression softens for a moment, his anger faltering as he sees the tears streaming down his face. “I need a break,” he announces. “I’ll sleep in the guest room; I can’t do this right now.” He shakes his head and meets your eyes for a brief second. “Thanks for the talk,” he says sarcastically as you don’t respond to his prior statements.
You stand still for a second as he leaves before collecting your things as well.
“Y/nnie,” Chan tries weakly.
“Don’t,” you say sharply, shaking your head.
Chan flinches as the door to your bedroom slams closed and slumps onto the sofa, biting back a sob. He blindly reaches for his phone and blinks away tears to find his best friend’s number. Felix picks up after the second ring. “Lix, I-I know it’s late-,” he starts weakly.
“Where are you?” he asks worriedly at the distressed sound of his voice. “Do you need me to get you?” he asks, already getting up to search for his keys. His husband shoots him a questioning look, and Felix mouths Chan’s name. Changbin frowns worriedly, getting up as well and grabbing his keys.
“Can I stay at yours? Just for tonight?” he sniffles helplessly.
“Of course, Channie,” Felix says soothingly, slipping into his shoes. “You’re at home?” he asks carefully, leaving the house with Changbin right behind him.
“Yeah…home,” he says, choking on the word.
“We’ll be there in ten minutes, okay?” he asks gently, waiting for Chan’s quiet hum in response. “Deep breaths, Channie hyung, I’m sure whatever this is it can be fixed.”
“I’m not sure,” he answers shakily. “I’m really not.”
“They got into a fight?” he asks carefully, knowing how much it upset Chan.
“Yeah,” he whispers. “It was bad, Lix, really, really bad.”
“I’m sorry, Channie,” he says softly. Only a little later Chan meets them in front of the house and they pull him into a tight hug.
Changbin soothingly rubs his back. “Come on, Channie hyung, let's go,” he gently urges him to the car, handing him a tissue. “You can stay as long as you need to, okay?”
Chan nods and gets into the car, sinking into Felix's arms as the younger one sits down next to him. Felix gently rubs his shoulder and sighs. “It's gonna be okay, Channie.”
Three days later
Waking up, you notice Chan's side of the bed is still made, untouched from the night before. Minho is already downstairs, the clatter of dishes breaking the uncomfortable silence that had settled over the house. As you walk into the kitchen, Minho’s posture stiffens, his usually warm eyes clouded with frustration.
“Good morning,” you say hesitantly, your voice barely a whisper, hoping to ease into the morning peacefully.
Minho nods without meeting your eyes, continuing his task. “Morning,” he replies shortly.
“I was thinking we could all go out today, maybe get some fresh air together,” you suggest, trying to find a way to get you three to deal with what happened.
Minho pauses, placing a plate down a little too hard. “Chan isn’t feeling well,” he says shortly, finally looking up at you with a mix of irritation and exhaustion in his expression.
“Is it his headache again?”
“Probably,” Minho mutters, turning back to the dishes. “Or maybe it’s just an excuse.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, your voice rising slightly in concern.
Minho sighs, a long, tired exhale. “It means maybe he’s just avoiding us. Avoiding this,” he gestures vaguely between the two of you.
“Minho, that’s not fair. You know how much he’s been struggling with everything,” you counter, feeling your heart rate pick up as the beginnings of anger mix with your worry.
“And what about us?” Minho snaps, his composure breaking. “When do we get to talk about how this is affecting us? You’re so focused on Chan. What about me? What about what I need?”
The accusation hits hard, opening a floodgate of emotions you’d both been tiptoeing around. “I’m trying to be here for both of you and fix this!” you exclaim, frustration overtaking your initial intent to keep the peace.
“Well, maybe try a little harder because I don’t feel it!” Minho’s voice escalates, his tone harsher than you’ve ever heard.
“Guys? What’s going on?” Chan’s weak voice comes from the doorway. His usual bright eyes are dim and shadowed with pain.
You both turn, startled, as Chan leans against the frame, looking between you two with a growing sense of dread. “I just needed some air, that’s all,” he murmurs, clearly caught off-guard by the newly thickened tension.
Minho’s expression softens slightly at the sight of Chan, but his frustration is far from appeased. “We’re just talking,” he says, though his voice suggests it was anything but a simple conversation.
Chan glances at you, his eyes searching for an ally. “It doesn’t sound like talking,” he comments softly, his tone hurt.
“You wouldn’t know; you’ve been avoiding us!” Minho’s outburst swiftly redirects the tension back to Chan.
“That’s not fair, Min,” Chan protests, his voice weak but filled with hurt. “I’m just trying not to make things worse.”
“By not talking? By hiding away?” Minho counters, his voice laced with bitterness.
“Enough!” you finally shout, unable to bear it anymore. “This isn’t helping anyone. We’re supposed to be in this together.” Both fall silent, the echo of your shout hanging between you. The air is thick with unsaid things, each of you caught in your own thoughts. “We need to fix this,” you say finally. “We can’t go on like this.”
Chan nods, looking exhausted. “I know,” he agrees quietly.
Minho doesn’t speak; his jaw clenches as he wrestles with his emotions, but his nod is agreement enough. You all sit down at the dinner table, facing each other.
Chan’s voice is gentle as he suggests, “Let’s each say something we feel without interruptions. Just listen to each other. Really listen.”
You nod, taking a deep breath. “I feel overlooked,” you begin, the words raw but necessary.
“I feel helpless,” Minho adds, his voice thick.
“I’m afraid of losing you both,” Chan admits, his eyes glossy with unshed tears.
The room grows silent as each confession hangs in the air. You all look at each other, the vulnerability shared creating a bridge that had been missing in the chaos of your misunderstandings.
Chan reaches across the table, his fingers brushing against yours. "I'm sorry," he says, his voice steady despite the emotion. "I’ve been so wrapped up in my own shit that I didn’t see how isolated you felt."
Minho exhales deeply, the tension easing from his shoulders as he acknowledges Chan's words. "And I... I've been so focused on not falling apart myself that I forgot to make sure we're all okay," he admits, his gaze shifting between you and Chan, a silent plea for forgiveness in his eyes.
It's your turn to respond, the atmosphere allowing for more open and heartfelt communication. "I've been afraid of burdening you both with my fears," you say, the admission freeing in its own way. "But I see now that keeping them to myself only creates more distance. I need to share more, not less," you continue, feeling a bit lighter with each word. "I need us to really be in this together."
Minho's hand finds yours, squeezing gently. "I've been scared," he admits, his voice cracking slightly. "Scared that pushing too hard or not enough could end up driving you away. But I see now that not communicating is just as damaging."
Chan, still visibly shaken but slowly regaining his composure, adds, "I thought I was protecting you both from my issues, but I was just isolating myself further. I promise to be more present, even when it's hard."
The conversation turns into a lengthy discussion in which each of you takes turns expressing thoughts and emotions that had been buried under daily routines and misunderstandings. It’s not just about voicing grievances; it’s about rediscovering each other's needs and reassessing how to support each other better.
Chan proposes a weekly check-in, a safe space where anything can be discussed without judgment, ensuring that no concern is too small or too trivial to be voiced. Minho suggests more one-on-one time with each of you to strengthen individual bonds that contribute to the health of the collective relationship.
In the following weeks, the impact of that conversation becomes evident. Slowly, the dynamics in your household start to shift. There's a newfound gentleness in your interactions, a deeper consideration for each other's mental spaces, and an active effort to engage without overwhelming one another.
Feeling less isolated, you find the courage to share your smaller daily fears and joys, discovering that these moments of sharing contribute significantly to your feeling of closeness with your husbands.
In a relationship as complex and intertwined as yours, challenges are inevitable.
PART SEVEN | PART NINE
do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -
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Can we see a chubby!reader who maybe doesn't know that Feitan is part of the phantom troupe, so she doesn't think Feitan can carry her but then he proves her wrong (maybe with a little bit of angst because she's self conscious, and then comfort because Feitan loves that there's more of her)
Idk if that made sense
Perfect
Feitan x Chubby!Fem!Reader
!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!
A/N: another short one… but I like it!! Join my server !!
warnings: insecure reader, a bit of internalized misogyny
SFW: @lightshowerrr @jungtoast @nenggie @aliceattheart @atransmuter
‼️If you want to be added to the taglist, please check out the taglist information then comment what you want to be added to! Make sure you have your age in your bio and that your blog can be tagged/mentioned!‼️
You had been dating Feitan for nearly a year now, and you still knew so little about him. His whereabouts while he was out of town were a mystery to you, and you had no idea what he did for work. All you did know was that he didn’t have a normal job.
When you jokingly asked him if he was in the mafia, he scoffed. “Mafia bunch of puss- wimps. Not part of it, not by long shot.”
You were a little perturbed by his answer, but couldn’t help laughing at the way he censored himself for your sake. He seemed to see you as some kind of delicate princess, closer to a porcelain doll than human. Feitan was always extremely gentle when touching you, his hands almost hesitant when making contact with your skin.
This was something you didn’t understand. Throughout your life, people viewed you as bigger, tougher, when in reality you were quite easily hurt, both physically and mentally. The topic of your weight had been a sore subject…
But your Fei wasn’t really good with reading social cues.
“Eat good. Here, for big girl.”
You stared at your boyfriend as he used his chopsticks to drop an extra egg roll on your plate. In your mind, you know he meant nothing by it. He was friends with larger people like Uvogin who ate tons to keep up his strength and figure.
But your heart felt hurt. You pushed your plate away and huffed. “Hmph.”
He was bad about assuming things, even if you knew it Feitan wasn’t being malicious, it still hurt your feelings when he assumed random things because of your body type.
But what you didn’t know, was that Feitan wasn’t assuming anything. You were his girlfriend, he had to provide for you and make sure you ate well. In meteor city, having meat on your bones usually meant you were well taken care of, and all he wanted to do was make sure you ate.
Feitan, though… he wasn’t good at communicating that. Or communicating at all, really, so he just stared as you pushed away the food. He scoffed, slightly offended that you turned down his offer.
“Why huff? Being brat.”
You sniffled, standing up and storming off. Feitan wouldn’t let this slide, he hated seeing you upset.
The dark haired man caught your wrist, squeezing with just enough force to catch your attention. “Why act like this? Made you mad?”
You pouted, puffing out your chubby cheeks. “Mmph… it’s embarrassing. You’re thin and I’m not… aren’t girls supposed to be dainty and small? Isn’t that what you would prefer, someone you could easily pick up?”
You wiped the tears from your eyes, not daring to look back at your lover.
But you didn’t have to look, because he turned you around and began lifting you with ease. Once you were in the air, he held onto your ass, squeezing softly. You squeaked and immediately wrapped your plump thighs around his waist for support, your cheeks burning with embarrassment.
“See? Easy. My little bunny.”
He held you in his arms, not straining or struggling in the slightest. It was like you weighed nothing at all to him and it was… relieving.
“Can’t understand? You… are mine.”
He huffed, sitting down with you in his lap, his arms wrapped around your waist. “We clear?”
You snuggled him, burying your teary face into his neck. “Yeah…”
Feitan tried to be a bit more sensitive with you after that, and made it a point to carry you around and show you off to his friends. It was a little embarrassing… but you felt loved and beautiful.
And that was all you needed.
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just a few scribbles of Cafe Owner!Reader x Yandere Dog!Gallagher. Honestly kinda wanna steal her away from Gallagher she's such a calming presence in my mind wijdjwks
Quick fluff-ish brainrots for an upcoming "WhoDrankIt?" (tentative title) coffee shop comic au utc. (cw: slight mentions of animal cruelty)
And no I'm not spoiling why cafe owner!reader went missing or any other major plotlines in these brainrots lmao
Kakavasha and Reader are very close friends ever since they heard each other complain about how hard getting a visa is lmao. The two of them admire each other's love for their family.
In this au, Kakavasha's family lives and he's happily venturing out to work for his parents' more smooth sailing retirement like his older sister. (Y/n), meanwhile, works abroad so she could be the breadwinner of her impoverished family. In a sense, they're very similar.
The two corporate slaves coworkers, Kakavasha and Jelena (Topaz) are regulars in (Y/n)'s cafe. Professor Veritas would sometimes drop by, not too often, to drink some herbal tea. Often claiming his visits are in moderation compared to Jelena, but when looking at the records in his bank account...
The three of them rarely pay by cash. Thankfully buying a card reader was a worthy investment...
(Y/n) just takes Gallagher to the cafe so he doesn't get too lonely at home.
And it's not a bad move. Gallagher is incredibly friendly, often mistaken as an actual cafe staff. He claims he is, but (Y/n) would correct people pronto. When Gallagher first met Firefly and Caelus, he immediately introduced himself as the cafe's security personnel... Which later earned him a proper taxi back home.
No matter how eager he is, (Y/n) really doesn't want people to think she's forcing her dog to work... Especially such an older looking one...
When getting pissed, (Y/n) would sometimes go to the backdoor just to heartily scream obscenities in a foreign language before coming back with a customer service smile. Gallagher thinks it's incredibly hilarious whenever she screams "HAYOP KA!" (you animal!) at the garbage bin.
Most of (Y/n)'s anger comes from her interactions with Sunday.
Won't go into detail to that yet but if their life was a fanfic, Jelena would tag it as "coffee shop au" and "enemies to ???"
Whenever (Y/n) gets too upset, it's Gallagher that brews something for her. 80% of the time, it goes on the menu. The other 20% are drinks Gallagher refuses to have anyone else taste but (Y/n). The recipes are also gatekept from her so she wouldn't try to tell it. Not that she would, anyways.
(Y/n) takes a very gentle approach to Gallagher. To her, he's no different than a roommate. Back home, it's common for poor families to neglect their pets- and that never sat right with her.
She still feels guilty about the time she had to watch her father abandon newborn kittens in a plastic bag because their family could no longer sustain them.
(Y/n) doesn't like recalling those memories. It's an era they couldn't help, given the economic decline. It's a period in her life where she's forced to mostly eat pure salt and boiled bananas due to their convenience rather than nutrition. Money was out of reach.
... She doesn't want any other creature to go through all that again.
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MAGNETIC PULSE! 02
ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ ENHYPEN’s new co-ed group starts their first album, MANIFESTO. Aohi makes a mistake that allows Jungwon, to give her a bit of sympathy that she didn’t ask for.
ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ eventual poly!ot7 x added member!oc. (jungwon centric). contains. angst, a little arguing, a smooch, uhm cringe writing lol.
| : ̗̀➛ MINTIE’s NOTES: Jungwon chapter yippee yippee!! Also important announcement that my asks are open now, and I’d love to get some interactions :3 don’t be a silent reader! Reblog, comment, send an ask!!
| : ̗̀➛ WARNING! How I write ENHYPEN is not meant to portray the idols irl, this is my au and I write this for fun. contains angst and a little bit of bickering/awkward tension.
✧. ┊ Jungwon was always born to be a leader, unlike Aohi, who just followed the crowd, Jungwon was born to lead it.
When he was picked as the best candidate for ENHYPEN's leader role, he was overjoyed, of course, but a part of him also wondered if he was ready for that role.
Jungwon worked to his limit to make sure ENHYPEN was where they were now. Aohi and Xiulin... he was stumped on what to do, they were suddenly thrust upon his plate when he already had so much.
Jungwon had no idea how to lead the girls, he didn't go through I-LAND with them, nor did they meet long enough to help them....
so, he didn't.
For about a few months, that went excruciatingly slow by the way, Jungwon barely made the effort to even glance Aohi's and Xiulin's way, well, more Aohi's because he respects Xiulin as his elder sister.
At first, it was smooth sailing for Jungwon, it wasn't that hard to ignore Aohi or avoid her, but as time passed on, Jungwon didn't realize her cold attitude would sting, like being out during a snowfall and it got too cold that your hands would freeze, kind of sting.
Jungwon didn't think the glare Aohi would sometimes direct at him would bother him so much. Like, made his stomach turn kind of bother.
For one, it made him feel like he was a bad person. (he doesn't think he is, is he?)
Secondly, he hated to admit that maybe, just maybe he did deserve it, and he wasn't really living up to the leader name.
Jungwon knows Aohi and Xiulin are his group members now, hell, they're making their first album with the girls now!
As a leader, he was supposed to help the girls, especially when he needed to navigate this whole co-ed situation as well, but he didn't, and knowing that left an incredibly sour taste on the boy's tongue.
That's what brought us to Jungwon now, sitting in an empty meeting room, after a weekly... report? Status? whatever it was, had happened. The boy stared straight ahead at the table, seemingly burning a theoretical hole into the furniture.
He sat unmoving for a while, getting lost in his thoughts, you could say he got it from Sunghoon's morning spacing out routine.
It was only until a can was placed in front of his line of sight did his gaze change from the table, to the girl he was exactly thinking about.
"You stare at that spot any longer, you might've actually burnt a hole into the table."
Jungwon didn't respond, glancing up at Aohi's brown orbs, before looking back down at the can on the table. "What's the drink for?" Jungwon nudged towards the drink, as if scared to touch it.
"To drink? What else?" Aohi stated, sitting opposite of Jungwon, in which Jay sat in before her, so Aohi cringed slightly as she felt the warm seat.
Aohi seemed to magically produce another can of warm tea— Jungwon had analyzed, in front of him, opening it with one hand.
"The drink was Xiulin-unnie's." She hums, blowing inside her can to take her first sip, tasting the tea and nodding her head, outwardly approving the flavour.
"Why didn't you give it to her then?" Jungwon hesitantly took the drink off of the table. "Couldn't find her." Aohi shrugged.
Jungwon made no move to open his drink, sitting up in his chair. "Why're you here?" He asks, moving the metal can from one hand to the other, temporarily using it as a handwarmer.
Jungwon didn't seem to like the fact that Aohi was so close without any reasons to be, he had no idea why he was so alert around her either, as if two cats meeting on a territory and intimidating each other.
"Why can't I be? I'm sitting with one of my members, I don't see anything wrong with that." Aohi's eyes narrowed like that of a cat as she willingly made eye contact.
As the two cat-like members stared on, Jungwon could feel that grumbling feeling in his stomach once again as he didn't back down from the intense eye contact Aohi established.
"I didn't say anything was wrong with it, I mean that you don't really like us—"
"I like Ri-ki, so I don't think that I don't like my group members." Aohi's shrugged once again, "You look at us like we're the worst people on earth." Jungwon scoffed, already disliking Aohi's response.
"I don't know why you have to look for a reason for me to be here, I'm being nice—" Aohi grumbled, placing her drink on the table since she was an easily irritable person, and this conversation— is it still even a conversation? could end up firing her up even more.
"With a stare like that?" Jungwon raised his eyebrows, he'd never seen someone who was being nice have a stare that could probably kill.
"Gosh, why do you have to start a fight with me all of the time?!" Aohi stood from her seat, pointing at Jungwon with an accusatory finger.
"Because you have so much against my hyungs and I! You don't even know us," Jungwon stood up from his seat as well, pushing Aohi's finger away with the back of his hand. "You just decided we're not even worth being nice to!"
"Neither do you! I wasn't the first to be rude, it was the hyungs who looked at me and Xiulin-unnie like we were of no hope!" Aohi argued, her words were true, how could the young girl forget?
Xiulin-unnie had to learn everything for herself and Aohi, because Aohi was finishing her studies and had to miss most of their practices.
Aohi was only angry because she cared for her unnie, and a few months in living like that, Xiulin was already extremely exhausted, and Aohi couldn't do much to help her.
Aohi was frustrated, she only wanted the boys to help, not just Ri-ki, all of the boys.
"Well—" "I'm not done!" Jungwon was silenced by Aohi, taken aback by her sudden outburst, even if he wanted to, what Aohi said was true, they truly didn't think they could debut, not so late into ENHYPEN's career at least.
Still, how could Jungwon admit that?
"Xiulin-unnie and I needed help, and we couldn't even confide in our hyungs, much less our leader." Jungwon's throat dried at Aohi's words, not knowing how to respond to that.
In all honesty, he felt like he was slapped with a hot iron pan of truth.
"Sure, Jake-hyung barely tried to help us with our dance practices, but not before pointing out every little wrong thing from us." Aohi poked her finger to Jungwon's chest, hating the way he was silent.
It wasn't like Aohi didn't know that Jungwon was the type to lead, from just meeting him, you could already feel it. That's what makes it worse.
The girls— Aohi, needed someone to follow, because that's all she knew to do, and she hoped that there was a small chance, Jungwon, as the leader, would knock some sense into his group members and allow her and her unnie to have someone to follow.
Apparently it was too much to ask for.
"We didn't even know each other, and we just decided to hate each other... months straight, we'd barely interact, even when we started to record the album.." Aohi frowned, seeing that she'd stunned Jungwon into silence.
Aohi wasn't sure whether to continue after that, only sighing and sitting back down, taking her cup of warm tea, trying to drink the tension away.
Jungwon stayed standing up, thinking. Jungwon knows he was cruel, but he thought he was doing right, he followed his hyungs along as well.
He could remember his Heeseung-hyung telling him that the girls will not gain anything by being in ENHYPEN, that they should let it be for their own good.
Jungwon should've asked what Aohi and Xiulin's thoughts were, if they could really do it, if they were really willing. Maybe then, he could've helped them, give them a place in the group, rather than giving up on them from the start.
"...I'm sorry." Jungwon hesitated, sitting next to Aohi, rubbing the palms of his hands nervously.
"You're only apologizing because I told you—"
"You're right, but I really am sorry, I mean that from the bottom of my heart." Jungwon interrupted her, Aohi turns to Jungwon, looking at him with a skeptical look.
"I was stressed, and I know that it's not an excuse, because you and Xiulin-noona were also under a lot of pressure," Aohi didn't bother to try and intervene with Jungwon's ramblings, he seemed to have a lot to say.
"But let me try and make it up to you, and Xiulin-noona."
Aohi stayed silent for a few moments, thinking, if Jungwon was genuine, and he was serious about treating her and Xiulin like actual members, maybe...
"It's been months, Jungwon.." Aohi replied curtly, turning to the side, as if hesitant to even agree. "Then I'll make up for it for as long as you girls want."
"You—" Aohi tried to start, Jungwon shaking his head at her reply, "I will, as long as you don't look at me like that again. I'll change."
And change, Jungwon did.
Aohi was taken aback the first time he did something for her, it was an interview, their first interview as a debuted co-ed group.
Aohi sat in one of the dressing rooms, spacing out on a make-up chair as the girls' own stylist worked her magic onto Aohi's newly dyed hair.
Xiulin and Aohi were successfully debuted into the group, despite the boys' hesitance, except Ri-ki and Jungwon, who happily congratulated the two girls.
Aohi remembers how much they had to handle on the first few days, the incorporation of Dark Moon, the making of their first co-ed album, it was a mess, and not to mention they barely had any breaks.
"Aohi-ssi, your make-up is done." Her stylist spoke, ushering her behind to start working on Xiulin next. Aohi stretched her arms in front of her as she sat on the couches, next to Ri-ki.
Ri-ki instantly turned to her, phone in hand to show whatever he was currently laughing at.
While the two teens giggled over whatever was on Ri-ki's screen, Jungwon approached the couch with drinks in hand, just like Aohi did, and for some reason, the leader of ENHYPEN disliked that their youngest was shoulder to shoulder with Aohi.
Without thinking any further, Jungwon pushed the two apart, Aohi looking startled at the sudden intrusion. Aohi looked up, seeing Jungwon looking down at her.
"I got you a drink, you have to stay hydrated." Jungwon took Aohi's hand and placed the cold drink, using his palm to curl her fingers over it.
Aohi's eyebrows just furrowed, glancing at Xiulin, who only stared from the mirror of the stylist chair in shock.
"Thanks, I guess.." Aohi mumbled, placing the drink on the table in front of the couch. Ri-ki didn't seem to notice, or suspect anything as he just returned to bumping shoulders with Aohi and looking at random videos.
Jungwon seemed to bite the inside of his cheek at the unsuccessful attempt at separating the two, wait— why was he even annoyed that they were so close to each other?
"Noona, are you going to drink that?" Ri-ki points to the drink Aohi had recently placed on the table.
"Why, are you thirsty, ki-yah?" Aohi hummed, grabbing the can, wiping the top and popping it open for the youngest to drink.
Jungwon stood behind them, a bit offended as he watched Aohi place the can to Ri-ki's lips, like a big 'screw you!' from Aohi to Jungwon as she gave Ri-ki the first sip of the drink he decided to kindly get for her.
"Good?" Aohi asks Ri-ki, grinning when he nods. "That's really good grape juice." He nods, wiping his lips with the back of his hand.
"here, you can have it."
Jungwon could hear his heart crack as he heard that from Aohi's lips, and Aohi heard clearly.
'You aren't gaining my forgiveness that easily..' She thinks, glancing at Jungwon, a slight mischievous smile on her face.
Since then, Jungwon had been... overbearingly kind to Aohi and Xiulin, as in... even sneaking in ordered food for them late at night. Jungwon was really determined to gain Aohi's forgiveness.
Jungwon had already earned Xiulin's respect, it's just Aohi being stubborn.
"Here..." Jungwon huffed, having ran a few floors down and back up to deliver the ordered food to the girls' dorms.
Aohi could only blurt out a small thanks before closing the door in front of their leader's face, stopping him from even saying anything.
Jungwon sat in front of their door for a bit, catching his breath, letting out a sigh before turning around, despite hearing muffled voices behind the door.
"Aohi! That was rude! You know he's still a member, he's stuck with us!" Xiulin whisper-yelled from beside her, opening the door as soon as it was closed. "Sorry, won, she's just hangry, have some with us." The older girl ushered, pulling a turned Jungwon inside.
"Unnie!" Aohi gasped, somewhat stomping her foot from the door and staring up at Jungwon with a frown. "Don't be like that, we ordered enough for an extra person." Xiulin scolded.
"I could've called Ri-ki..." Aohi grumbled, turning around and stomping into the kitchen. "You're not calling the youngest down for some fried chicken, Aohi." Xiulin retorted.
Jungwon stood by the entrance awkwardly, he was the first of the boys to even be in the girls' dorms. "Don't just stand there, go!" Aohi pointed to the living room, chopsticks and plates in her other hand.
Jungwon hesitantly approached the room, looking around curiously at the new environment, before sitting next to Xiulin, on their couch.
"I'm hungry, hurry up!" Xiulin whined from the living room, the TV still turned on, they seemed to be watching a random k-drama, obviously bored but not tired.
"Eung!" Aohi replied, sitting by the table in the middle of their living room as they started to open the food they ordered. Jungwon sat back with his hands on his lap, a bit nervous.
"Loosen up, won." Xiulin looked from behind her, Aohi placing a plate and chopsticks for Jungwon to use. The two girls were silent as they placed the food out.
"Looks so good... I'm literally about to devour everything." Xiulin let out a 'psh!' sound, bumping Aohi's leg with her own and gaining a protest from Aohi.
"I will enjoy this food.." The three recited, Jungwon slowly sliding into the middle of the two girls as they started to eat.
The trio ate silently, an occasional groan or dislike for any event that went on in their k-drama. "She's so fake for going back to her ex.." Aohi spoke, looking at the TV with a furrowed brow.
"Right? Like, if you're going to go back, don't do it in front of the boy who's liked you for forever.." Xiulin scoffed, taking a sip of her cider. Jungwon silently chewed from between them, just listening in.
Jungwon stared down at his plate, swallowing, 'ah... I need some pickled radish..' Jungwon looked for the container around the table, seeing it but... it was being guarded by Aohi.
Jungwon didn't want to ask Aohi, just watching the girl place another cube into her mouth. Xiulin glanced from beside her, seeing Jungwon eye the container.
"Yah, Jungwon wants some, don't finish it all." Xiulin spoke, nudging her head towards Aohi's direction.
Jungwon felt alarmed at the sudden call-out Xiulin made, jumping in his spot, "Ah— no, it's okay!—" Jungwon used his free hand to make a no motion.
Aohi stared at Jungwon, chopsticks in her mouth, before staring back to the TV. The younger boy felt a little awkward as the noise died down between both Aohi and Xiulin.
Aohi then stared down at the container of radishes, there was only five cubes left.. and she really liked the radishes, she glances at Jungwon, who seemed to have a bit of trouble eating the last of his bites, using cider to down it.
Jungwon grabbed the last bite of the boneless bites he was eating, getting ready to chew his way to a finished plate, unknowing to Aohi's gaze at his struggling figure.
In a small moment, Aohi made the decision to pick a cube up from the container with her chopsticks, before turning to Jungwon.. "Eung.." Aohi was feeding him a cube of radish.
Jungwon stopped mid-chew to stare at her like a deer in headlights, Xiulin was too busy being immersed in her digital show to even bother seeing the live-version play out right beside her.
'Did.. did she want to feed me?' Jungwon thought, looking at the radish before looking back up.
Aohi waited with a blank look on her face as Jungwon swallowed his bite, hesitantly coming forward as he used his teeth to bite the radish, so that his lips wouldn't touch her chopsticks.
Jungwon could feel the back of his neck warm slightly, trying to finish his food.
Ever since then, it was even more awkward between Aohi and Jungwon, the leader starting to practically follow the girl around like a cat does to his owner.
Aohi guessed he wasn't that bad, more so tolerable. Aohi didn't mind Jungwon that much, just thought it was a little tiring having to be followed around.
It's been almost eight months since Jungwon promised to change, and Aohi and Jungwon seemed to be... friends? Acquaintances? All the leader knew was that Aohi didn't avoid him anymore.
Aohi was secretly appreciative of Jungwon, he had helped plenty with her and Xiulin with coordinating their first album together, MANIFESTO.
Aohi and Xiulin learnt their roles in the dance pretty quickly, thanks to Ri-ki and Jungwon. Aohi started to find her confidence in being in the group, trying to find her dynamic, trying to fit in.
Aohi thought she was ready, actually. That she was perfectly in the spot she was. That was, until their first performance of their songs.
"Get her and Sunoo off-stage, quickly! Check on her, see if she broke or injured anything!" The staff ran around frantically behind stage, trying to close the lights to cover up the incident on-stage.
It was their first performance of their song, ParadoXXX Invasion, Aohi thought she was going to nail this first performance, she really did.
Aohi lost her footing half-way into the song, tripping onto Sunoo as the two came tumbling down. The lights dimmed as their fans gasped, murmuring at the sudden absence of lights on-stage.
Sunoo held Aohi stable as he winced, feeling a sting from his lower back from where he fell.
Aohi looked at Sunoo with teary eyes, shaking her head as a worried expression washed over her features.
"Sunoo-hyung... I'm so sorry.. I'm sorry- i didn't mean—" Aoihi whispered, wrapping her palm around her mic, just in case it was still on. Aohi didn't want the crowd hearing her lose her composure.
The whole group was ushered off-stage as Aohi couldn't even hold back her tears as she suddenly burst out in worry, and honestly, in fear.
The staff members had no idea how to comfort the overwhelmed girl. Aohi felt vulnerable at this moment, she felt more like Yoon Aohi, the seventeen-year-old girl who was a little too sensitive for her own good.
Xiulin could only usher her away from the eyes of the other members, letting out soft mantras of reassurance as they walked away. Ri-ki and Jungwon looked on in worry, being by Sunoo's side as the medic on seen checked on him.
"Go check if she's okay, I'm okay—" Sunoo grabbed Jungwon's arm, looking at him with a strained smile, knowing Jungwon's conflicted thoughts behind his eyes, of staying with his hyung, or going after Aohi.
Jungwon glanced up one more time from Sunoo to a fading Aohi, through the crowds, the boy could see glimpses of Aohi's face in her hands, her shoulders shaking.
In that moment, Jungwon didn't hesitate to follow after her, swerving through different staffs as his hyungs called for him.
"I'll just leave you here, okay? I'll be right back... just stay here.." Xiulin softly spoke, rubbing Aohi's shoulder for a bit, leaving to go talk with staff.
Jungwon tailed after the girls, approaching the dressing room that Xiulin left. Jungwon stood in front of the door for a bit, hesitating to knock before he did.
Thankfully, he did manage to do it, cracking the door open soon after, entering with as little noise as possible.
Aohi looked up from her make-up stained hands, up at Jungwon. Aohi sniffled as she wondered why Jungwon was there.
Jungwon could feel his heart tighten at Aohi's tear-stained face. Her expression seemed to hurt even worse than all of those glares she shot his way in the past.
Jungwon never wants to see her cry like this again, he wouldn't be able to take it if he did.
"Aohi..." Jungwon calls out softly, approaching the couch as he attempted to sit down, placing a gentle hand on her arm.
Aohi quickly pulled her hand away before Jungwon could even wrap a finger, "Wag mo ako hawakan!— please!" (Don't try to hold me, please.)
Aohi sniffled as she scooted to the side of the couch, making space between her and Jungwon. he didn't know what she was asking of him, not understanding what she said.
Instead, Jungwon sat on the other side of the couch, hoping she just wanted space. Jungwon could feel his stomach spin in worry for Aohi, the last few months, spending time with her made it that way.
Despite Aohi's firm obstacles in the start, trying to push him away, they ended up becoming somewhat close.
"Why're you even here?.." Aohi sobbed.
"I wanted to know if you're okay.." Jungwon frowned, looking at Aohi, itching to bring her into his arms, itching to comfort her.
"Since when did you care?" Aohi spat, she seemed defensive, thoughts racing in her head, she wondered, if Jungwon as the leader, would scold her for being so careless.
Aohi was stressed enough as it was. Jungwon could see that.
"I've always cared, Aohi.. ever since then..." Jungwon whispered, inching closer, freezing when Aohi flinched at his sudden movement.
"Please don't push me away," Jungwon begged. "I'm not here to berate you, or scold you—"
"I don't need your pity!" Aohi cried, a sob following her words. Jungwon held grabbed Aohi's hand as she tried to stand.
"I'm not pitying you, Aohi! I genuinely care for you!" Jungwon begeed once more, keeping Aohi in place, her movements frantic.
Aohi had to admit, Jungwon was pretty strong and she had to scold herself for thinking such things in a situation like this. Aohi tried to pull her hands away from Jungwon when she was pulled into his chest.
Aohi gasped, struggling in his hold as Jungwon held her in place, whispering 'you're okay's and 'relax' in Aohi's ears as she sobbed even more, only grabbing onto his sweatshirt as she cried her teenage heart out into Jungwon's clothes.
"You made a mistake, and that's okay.. it happens.." Jungwon softly comforted the girl in his arms, his hand reaching up to pat the girl's head.
"I just ruined the performance.. I tripped Sunoo-hyung.. I hurt him—" Aohi sobbed out, Jungwon shaking his head with a soft laugh. "Aish... Aohi, you're thinking too much, Sunoo-hyung won't hate you for that."
"It's not just that!" Aohi cried out, Jungwon leans back from his hug, looking down at Aohi, who seemed to stare up at him, her eyes puffy and nose red, Jungwon was convinced he could've been looking at a scared bunny.
"Then what is it? Hm?"
Aohi sniffled for a bit, moving away from her embrace with Jungwon, "I hyped myself up so much for this album... I was so confident, Jungwon," She whimpered, using her arm to wipe her eyes.
"I thought I would be able to do the performance flawlessly. I just embarrassed us, maybe I'm really not meant to be in enhypen, won.."
Jungwon stays quiet at her words, Jungwon is reminded of their starting months, he wonders if he and his hyungs made that mindset for Aohi. Jungwon wonders if he did, he really thought he was cruel.
"Don't say that, you didn't do anything," Jungwon wanted to change those thoughts in the poor girl's head, it was the least he could do.
"You're a hard-working person, Aohi, and you made a mistake but don't think for one second that you don't belong with us because of it."
"...You mean it, won?" Aohi whispered, looking up at the taller boy. Jungwon looked down at her once again, he felt a bit stunned at how Aohi was fine with showing this vulnerable side to her, especially when he's always been avoided by her.
"With everything I have." Jungwon replied, just as soft.
The two continued to keep eye contact with each other, getting lost in each other's gazes. It was quiet in the dressing room, except for the rustling of Jungwon's hand rubbing at Aohi's palm and his rings clinking with hers.
Neither Jungwon or Aohi made an effort to move away from each other, they didn't even bother to notice that, instead of moving away from each other, they inched closer and closer.
"Won?" Aohi whispered, her eyes fluttering softly.
"..Eung?" Jungwon asked, Aohi could feel his breath on her cheek, that's how close they were.
Aohi glanced down at his lips, Jungwon following her actions, dreading for the moment they would touch.
Another minute passes, an inch following.
It was quiet, too quiet.
In a span of a second, Aohi could feel Jungwon close the gap in between them, a soft gasp leaving her lips. His lips were soft, oh so soft.
Jungwon's eyes had fluttered close, he didn't know why he ended up closing the gap, hell, he didn't even register that he was kissing Aohi!
Aohi could've melted from just how soft Jungwon's lips were on hers, it was perfect, so perfect. Aohi wanted it to last forever, the feeling of their lips moving in sync was perfect, like a dream.
but as quickly as a dream ends, it did, Xiulin being the main culprit as she busts into the room.
Aohi and Jungwon jumped away from each other, Aohi fixing her appearance and Jungwon covering the lower half of his face.
"Noona! Are you okay?" RI-ki voiced, his worried figure approaching Aohi as she tried to compose herself.
"Yeah- Yeah, I'm..." Aohi glances at Jungwon, who's forced himself not to even think to turn to look at her. "I'm.. alright.." Aohi finishes her sentence, her voice lowering softly.
"We should get you out of here, the staff gave us the green light.." Xiulin spoke curtly, staring at Jungwon as she rubbed Aohi's shoulder.
Before Aohi could even get a word in, Ri-ki was already ushering her up, softly telling her to move. Xiulin taking over when she reaches the door.
"But, won—" Aohi tried to call for the other member, Ri-ki only blocking her sight. "Go, noona." The youngest pleaded, wanting Aohi to rest.
Aohi didn't say anything further as Xiulin pulled her outside, reaching the car with their stuff in tow, letting the younger girl enter the car first.
"Unnie-" Aohi tried to speak her mind before Xiulin could even scold her, but she was instantly silenced by the way her elder sister just sent a glance her way.
"Aohi, what were you thinking?" Xiulin spoke from her seat, leaning back into her seat.
"Unnie.. it was a mistake, I really didn't mean to trip—" Xiulin made a 'nuh uh' sound, shaking her head as she raised her hand up to stop Aohi from speaking even more.
"Not. That." Xiulin turns to her dongsaeng, a slightly annoyed look on here face. "I mean that... the— you know!" Xiulin motions to her hand, making kissing motions by touching the tips of her fingers together.
Aohi watches the action with her lips ajar, she opened her mouth to try and make a reason, an excuse, on why she did it, why she... kissed Jungwon.
Since nothing came out, she only sighed, looking off to the window, as if deep in thought. There was barely any sunlight left, the night coming to replace the sun.
"I don't know.. Unnie, believe me, I was upset and—" Xiulin clicked her tongue. "I thought you disliked our members? That's all you could ever talk about, remember?"
"I know but-" Aohi sighed, looking down at her fingers, fiddling with the rings. "Jungwon- He's different—" Xiulin suddenly puts her hands up in the air, it's like she's finally noticing the plot of a k-drama.
"Different? Because he was nice? You and I have known him for a few months, batsy!" Xiulin argued. Aohi flinches at her aggressive tone, feeling like a kicked cat on the curb.
"It's the way he's changing! Believe me, I tried to push him away, but he was persistent, and I started to change—" Xiulin huffed in her seat, she truly wonders what was going through Aohi's head.
Xiulin thought of the future of ENHYPEN as quickly as she saw the scene of Aohi and Jungwon. It would cause such an outrage, especially between newly-debuted members and how it would conspire so many rumours.
Xiulin's heart was in the right place, worrying about their careers, but she has to understand that Aohi didn't mean for the kiss to happen.
"Unnie.. you said it yourself, we're stuck with them! Is it so bad to try and change? To want to be on better terms with them?" Aohi reasoned, pleading her older member to understand.
"You call that better terms, Aohi?" Xiulin frustratingly replied. The two girls seemed to struggle with finding a middle ground. "Kissing Jungwon is worse than having something against him."
"I like him, unnie!" — "Is you liking Jungwon worth more than our careers?!"
Aohi stays silent at this, for once her stubbornness flickers out like a flame.
She thinks about the whole situation from Xiulin's eyes. She and her unnie worked to debut after being picked out of their respective groups and now that they are debuting, Aohi could ruin it.
Hell, she should be lucky it was Xiulin and.. maybe Ri-ki? who saw the kiss.. Oh gosh, what about Ri-ki? What will he do?
"I'm sorry, unnie... I didn't know what I was thinking..." Aohi whispered, deciding to back down and agree to Xiulin. Her unnie turns to her, seeing the young girl deflate into her chair with a soft sniffle.
Aohi was obviously upset, feeling dejected. Xiulin could only sigh, "You should stay away from Jungwon off-camera.. You and won will only hurt yourselves if feelings start to form..." Xiulin reaches over to rub her arm on the girl's shoulder, in attempt to comfort her.
Aohi only nods, their conversation ending as their separate manager enters the car, ready to drive them home.
MUSIC BANK DRESSING ROOM, 8:56 PM—
"Hyung." A voice calls out for him. Jungwon could only squeeze his eyes shut for a few moments. "Look, just- don't tell the others.." He let out a sigh through his nose, looking up at Ri-ki, who seemed visibly upset.
"I don't care about that, you shouldn't of done that to her." The youngest spoke. Jungwon was taken aback at the sudden hostility coming from Ri-ki.
"Ri-ki, what are you talking about?" Jungwon's eyebrows furrowed, looking appalled at the youngest's behaviour.
Ri-ki clenches his fists, biting the inside of his cheek. "You shouldn't of kissed her."
Jungwon wonders why he'd bring this up, he already knew? What does Ri-ki gain from telling him again?
"You don't think I know that? I'm saying not to mention it to the other hyungs, I'll—" Jungwon spoke, trying to pass the conversation as quickly as possible, the leader didn't want to speak about it, his mind jumbled from the big events of today.
"You're going to hurt Aohi-noona, you know that?" Ri-ki replies, and at this point, Jungwon wonders why he cares so much. Sure, their youngest and Aohi has been closest, but to be so defensive about her?
"Ri-ki, drop it please." Jungwon pleaded, Ri-ki flicking his head to the side, as if ticked off. "she doesn't deserve that, you—" Jungwon stopped Ri-ki from saying even more words, words that could hurt both of them.
"I care about Aohi as much as you do, Ri-ki!" Jungwon argued, Ri-ki biting back just as fierce. "I don't just care, Jungwon-hyung!" He yells, and Jungwon is quiet for a few moments, wondering what he meant.
"You're blowing this out of proportion, ki. You know we're just friends." And at this, Ri-ki scoffs. He felt like a little kid being hid away from things he obviously understood.
"Don't bullshit me, please, hyung." Jungwon clenches his jaw, he could feel the tension rise between them.
It was a familiar feeling, one that started to become obvious as months passed, the more both spent time with Aohi.
"You don't think I notice? The way you look at Noona like she showed you the wonders of the world," Ri-ki steps towards Jungwon, and the older boy takes a step back.
"You used to hate her, and now you kiss her like the past just didn't happen?"
"That was months ago! Aohi and I are on better terms!" Jungwon takes this as an opportunity to stand his ground with Ri-ki, he has never seen their youngest be so rebellious, or hell, angry with them.
"Still! I won't let you play with her feelings like that!"
Jungwon is angered at this, Ri-ki doesn't get to put that claim on him, not when he spent months caring for Aohi, not when he's made a habit to glance at Aohi to make sure she's okay, or always asking her if she needs any help.
Not when Jungwon spent so much time caring, not when he started to form feelings, when he started to love her.
"I'm not playing with anyone's feelings, Ri-ki!" Jungwon finally yells, like a cat defending his territory, feeling offended and intimidated.
"You don't get to accuse me of that! Aohi is just as important to me! I get my actions but I won't do it again! So, drop it!"
"No! I'm not dropping it!" Ri-ki keened.
"God, Ri-ki! Why do you care so much?!" Jungwon groaned, "I said I wouldn't do it again, what more could you want?—"
"It's because I have feelings for her!" Ri-ki reveals, his hand instantly reaching up to slap over his lips. It was so shocking that even Jungwon's eyes widened slowly at his words, not expecting to hear that fall from Ri-ki's lips.
Even Ri-ki's surprised that those words came out of his own mouth.
"I.. I like her."
The two stare at each other for a while, before Ri-ki couldn't handle his hyung's gaze, dashing out with a heavy heart, and a twisting stomach.
Jungwon seemed to grab at a table behind his back, feeling his knees weaken. His hands reached up to wipe the sweat on his face, the temperature of the room seemed to change as the fighting between the two got worse.
Jungwon repeated Ri-ki's works in his head over and over, as if it was a mantra. Ri-ki liked her, he had feelings for her.
God, what will he do?
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ok so I haven't done an insane and pointless landoscar post in a while so !!
I blurted most of this to @mecachrome and needed to like ground myself abt it but like.
Lando allowing himself to oscillate between extremes of Taking Your Affection For Granted/Being an Absolute Menace and Please Look at Me/Please Tell Me I'm Important to You is smth we only see him do w very very specific people. he's got to feel very secure that their attention and patience w him go hand in hand. namely we know of Max F, Jon, some of Lando's karting friends, and now Oscar. with literally everyone else he makes an effort to soften or balance himself and fit their energy (which tbh is how most of us are w friends and colleagues). but Lando is not Just Anyone and Not Just Some Guy so there's a special extra sector of friendship and affection there to be achieved if someone has the desire to.
and somehow to me it's like, Lando realizing so early on that Oscar really really really knew him and then gradually realizing that Oscar was continuing to study and learn him, it basically jumped his feeling of safety around Oscar to a degree he normally only feels around ppl he's known for a very long time.
and that a peruse through these two tags it becomes clear that Lando feels secure in putting Oscar through the paces of Lando's least happy and amenable moods possible. bc !! Oscar just smiles through it and doesn't get offended and almost sort of pushes through it as if to say you're not going to annoy me away mate, I've decided we're friends and that's it.
bc it's a test he knows Lando does when he's decided you're a Safe Person. like in Bahrain and Lando jokingly goes ugh! hi Oscar! and IMMEDIATELY switches to Osc bc he's in a Mood about having to discuss Bahrain as if they possibly could've learned much about the car yet and there's nothing rly to discuss but he doesn't want to take it out on Oscar … and then ! Oscar sees the pout on Lando's face, ignores everyone else and does this lean in and starts teasing Lando abt the repetitive questions they're being asked ! and Lando ! breaks out into this big smile and his mood just lifts !! bc Oscar knows exactly what to do !
and somehow that's all tied into how insanely clingy they both were at the start of the season and Lando esp was going a bit crazy with posting and reposting and commenting on content with Oscar or him and Oscar and how he felt this need to explain to Oscar why he went to see Daniel and not him bc wowwww he rly missed Oscar and the way Oscar just watches him and laughs at all his jokes and doesn't ask Lando to Be Anything Other than Himself bc Oscar takes the good and the bad bc it's Lando! Oscar had folded Lando into his life long before they even knew they'd be teammates!
which parallels the end of season video in Abu Dhabi or the Saudi post race video 'Straya Mate' and Lando is about to jump out of his skin to get Oscar to look at him !! and in those moments Oscar is a combination of tired and rly not enjoying media but Lando canNOT HANDLE when Oscar isn't watching him and Oscar seems sort of fed up with cameras so he STARES at Oscar's face and wriggles around and builds up to jokes bc he just needs to see himself having that effect on Oscar! and Oscar never lets him squirm for long and caves in to any joke Lando makes no matter how bad. and all of that fits so much w the sort of "soft dom" moments where ultimately, Lando views Oscar as one of the few people in his life who will Take Care of Him and who Knows What Lando Needs. but also !! it's a return of what Oscar does for Lando!
bc we've all seen him be like this w Max F and Jon and how no matter what flavor of Lando gets thrown at them - sweet or sour - they know just how he works and would never ever betray that level of trust by getting bored or disinterested or fed up with him. Max definitely has the most ability to scold Lando to order but tbh that happens v rarely and mostly he just mutters to himself or the camera and totally folds to Lando anyway.
but the difference is that Lando has years of proof on his side w Max and Jon and the other ppl he feels like this with. Oscar however is still a New Friend and he's got this whole settled, grown up life outside racing and Lando's relying a whole lot on the degree of commitment to McLaren that Oscar has shown again and again. they have friends in common and a drift compatible bond as teammates but they don't broadcast their interactions like most drivers do w other drivers so who knows how much Oscar has integrated in Lando's life outside of that? and I can only imagine Lando does NOT cope well with losing people he's brought into that degree of trust even tho from what we know he's never had that happen. but Oscar is so self-contained and reserved about the deeper parts of his personality so all of us sure can't say exactly how he'd react to him or Lando going to another team and you wonder how much Lando does ??
and godddd then we got this little glimpse into their natural dynamic and I end up finding myself hoping especially for Lando's sake that their friendship keeps getting stronger over the years they both know they have for sure together bc it's feels v safe to say that Oscar being someone else's teammate and not being Right There throughout the season would not be good for Lando !! </3
*obligatory reminder that I write these posts purely for fun and no I do not hinge any of my happiness in life on two men in racey cars - bc some ppl cannot tell what fandom is for and think everyone's deadly serious
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Can I request a good future Donnie x Reader where reader has like. Anxiety²? And is always hesitant to ask him for attention or affection when he is even slightly busy?
Silent Longing
f!Donnie x gn!reader
Warnings: anxiety, angst, kiss, communication *gasp*
A/N: Sorry I'm so inconsistent right now :((
Donnie is working in his lab. Like always. It was normal, the usual as you and his brothers would say. There was hardly a moment you didn't find him in his lab, working on gods know what.
On a normal day, you would go into his room and wait for him to be done with work. On a normal day, Donnie would come in, tug off his hoodie and lay with his head on your chest.
But today hadn't been a good day. You craved his touch and comfort, yet seeing him bent over his desk made you pause. You didn't like interrupting him, you felt anxious asking for affection knowing he wasn't one who really like it.
Yet you stand in the doorway.
You eventually pull up a spare chair and sit at his desk, somewhere out of the way. Donnie doesn't seem to notice you for a moment, engrossed in his work. Out of the corner of his eye, he does eventually see you.
"Darling," he smiles, rolling over to you. " What do I thank this visit on?"
"Thought I'd hang out with you for a while." You shrug, watching him tap his screwdriver on the desk.
"Just hang out?" His head cocks slightly, brows furrowed. He wasn't good with emotions, but he seemed to notice the underlying tension. "As you can see, I'm working to save the world, so... You being here means it must be bad."
"It's nothing, really. I just wanted to be with you..." You tell him, watching him roll his chair closer. "I'm distracting you, aren't I? I can just wait in your room."
Donnie frowns, watching you get up to make your escape. He stands up, gently grabbing your arm. "You're important too. I don't want you to feel neglected or unimportant." He tugs you to face him. "Please tell me. What is it you want to say?"
"You're busy. It's okay" You answer, one of his hands finding your wasit while the other cups your cheek. "It can wait."
"Are you sure about that?" He leans in, his voice dropping. "Tell me what you want, my love."
"You're busy. You have a lot of work to get done. I don't want to distract you."
"Yes, I have a lot of work to do, but that doesn't mean I can't make time for you. You're not a distraction. You're a priority." He sighs, leaning closer to rest his forehead against yours. "I can't bare the thought of you feeling neglected."
"I just... Had a bad day. It's fine. I can wait for you to be done."
Donnie's expression becomes more intense as he listens to your words, his grip on your waist tightening slightly. "Yes, I have work to do, but that doesn't mean I can't make time for you. You're not a distraction, love. You're a priority."
"You're busy......" You mumble again, still keeping a tight hold of his shirt because even though you knew he was busy, you didn't want him to leave. "I don't want to distract you... Or be selfish..."
Donnie's grip on your waist tightens, his voice filled with a mix of frustration and tenderness. "Enough with this selfless act, love. It's not selfish to want to be with the person you care about. And I care about you, more than I can put into words. I may be busy, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be with you." He gently turns your face back towards him, his eyes searching yours. Donnie leans in, his lips brushing against yours softly. "Please, love. Trust me. Let me prove to you that you're worth every moment of my time."
"I love you, more than words can express. And I want to make you happy."
"Say it again." You whisper, cradling his face in your hands. Your lips brush, your heart leaping in your chest. "Please, baby... Say it again..."
Donnie's eyes lock onto yours, his gaze intense with affection and desire. He takes a moment to savor the feeling of your touch against his face, his voice filled with a mix of tenderness and longing.
"I love you, my love. More than words can express. You are my everything, my heart and soul." His voice grows husky as he leans in, his lips capturing yours in a passionate kiss. His hands move to cradle the back of your head, deepening the connection between you.
"I love you... I love you... I love you..." He whispers the words against your lips, his breath mingling with yours.
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RAHHH WAIT WHILE WE R ON THE TOPICS OF PERIOD SEX. CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT WHICH GENSHIN GUYS WOULD EAT OUT/FUCK DURING A PERIOD?
AAAAAAA OMG YES........ under the cut because I rambled a lot. ;;;;
The most obvious one who would do it in a heartbeat is Childe. He loves the sight and smell of blood, and the fact that it's coming from between your legs is even better. He'll have you crying out while he spends so much time between your legs, all too eager to taste you and listen to you fall apart on his tongue and fingers. He'll fuck you while you're on your period as well. He loves the way your blood stains his dick when he's thrusting in and out. Playfully cooing at you when you beg him to ease up because it's too much: "Aww, can't handle it? That's too bad... down here seems just fine. You're taking it like it's nothing." <3
This is my own personal bias seeping through, but I wholeheartedly believe Scaramouche/Wanderer would adore period sex. I think Scara enjoys fucking you while you're on your period, whereas Wanderer enjoys eating you out just a bit more. There's this whole power/control thing Scara wants to have over you, so he's probably not getting on his knees for you anytime soon. But he will fuck you for as long as he wants, teasing you the entire time. Having your blood on him is all too exciting. As for Wanderer, he'll pretend like it's a tall order, playfully scoffing at you and saying something like, "What would you do without me? You'd be helpless, wouldn't you?" But if you even suggest that someone else do this for you, he's quickly putting that smart mouth of his to work. Try saying that again through all of your moans. :)
ALBEDO OMG........ it's all for "scientific research" because he's curious and would like to know how the human body operates in more detail. Really, this is his own nerdy cover. He just wants to taste you and feel you, blood and all. orz of course he probably collects samples because there's this clinical side to him that wants to know you down to the alchemical level. ;;;;; he spends way too much time stuffing his fingers inside you and stretching you open, curiously observing the blood that coats his digits and making note of all of your reactions.
Razor....... this one is also obvious. He smells blood and assumes you're hurt, so his first instinct is to either patch you up or lick it better. The latter comes into use when he pins you down and spreads your legs to get a closer look at your pussy. Razor's a bit inexperienced and sloppy, roughly gripping onto your thighs, but he means well. He has to keep his mate safe and content, after all!
Xiao........ XIAO!!!!!!!! He's so determined to protect you. He's very accustomed with the scent of blood, so it doesn't take long for him to smell it on your person. Xiao's a little stern when he tells you to stop moving so he can check you for injuries, but he's sincere. Why do you seem so casual? Aren't you hurt????? He cannot fathom the concept of a period because he's never known about such a thing. He's about as virgin as they come. ^^;;;; but he'll do anything to ensure you're happy, forever and always, and so even though he may not know what he's doing at first he'll eventually fall into the rhythm. Karmic debt is cold and cruel, but pussy is warm and soft. <3
I feel like Kazuha would be into it........ he's so sweet about it, too. T^T maybe you're embarrassed to have leaked on the sheets while sleeping beside him, but he assures you it's fine. Things happen. Besides, there's nothing to be ashamed of. It's normal. He'll make you feel so much better about it, and soon you're falling apart on his fingers or mouth. He praises you all throughout it.
Gorou!!!!! This is also a Razor situation. He probably prefers eating you out more than he does fucking you, but the latter is also quite good. He's really such a sweetheart and he gets pussy-drunk SO FAST. OTL even more so when you're on your period.......
Itto!!! >:D truthfully, what won't Itto do? He'll do just about anything for his pal, best bud, partner, lover (you're all of these things to him hehe). He adores you omg. You only need to tell him that it hurts and he's ready to provide, whether that be by eating you out until your cramps are soothed or by fucking into you (he'll be slow and gentle; he promises!). Anything for you. <3
This may be unexpected (or not) but Ayato. I think he just likes the idea of staining those pristine clothes of his in your red. Or ruining white sheets...... there's something very thrilling about it. Also, you're just so sensitive whenever you're on your period and your libido has you begging him for even more.
Definitely Tighnari. He could just mix up something to help soothe your cramps, but why would he do that when he could indulge instead? Besides, this method works very well and you seem to enjoy it just as much as he does. Why would he ever trade that?
Cyno......... I can't explain it, but I feel like he would enjoy period sex... there's something so addictive about sinking into your wet warmth and getting blood on his cock while you dig your nails into his shoulders and rake his back bloody. >:D
Baizhu. Something something doctor's orders!!! Prescription to soothe cramps is not a calming herbal tea but the doctor working you open on his fingers or fucking into you sweetly and slowly!!!!!
Omg,,, speaking of doctors, how could I forget the man himself!!!! Dottore is a creature. He loves period sex. Perhaps some of his clones love it more than others. It's easy to tell depending on who's fucking you or eating you out. He has this deranged sort of smile as he watches you come undone.
PANTALONE.......... I just know he loves getting your blood all over his face and fingers and on his clothes. He's a big fan of simply cockwarming you while you're on your period and only getting you to orgasm by clitoral stimulation. AAAAAAA OTL
Wriothesley can and will spend his entire afternoon between your legs. He doesn't mind the mess. It doesn't bother him. Rather, he's busying himself working you towards your nth orgasm for the day. If you come to Wrio with a problem, you better be ready for him to solve it. He'll make sure you won't be feeling any cramps for the rest of the day after he's done with you.
Another personal bias, but I like to imagine Lyney also enjoys period sex. Maybe even Freminet, but he's too shy to ask you if you'd be okay with it...... >_< AAAA but Lyney!!!!! He reminds me of this audio. T_T Lyney sniffing out your period........ you seem to have cramps and that's no good. Allow him to ease them and this time there's no magic required hehe.
Another bias, but my beloved Gaming!!!!!! I think period sex with him is always a sweet activity. He's so gentle and caring,,,, so focused on making sure you feel good and that you'll have enough orgasms to get rid of the cramps. And of course he has plenty of snacks on standby for when you want to snack during breaks. Leave it all to him! You won't have to lift a finger. Just lie back against the cushions and let him make you feel good.
OH OH!!!! Capitano.......... I've seen some portray him with a long monster tongue and methinks that is very delicious and so true!!!!! Capitano using that long tongue of his to eat you out, and it can reach places that your fingers just can't and and and AAAAAAAA!!!!!
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Leon Kennedy NSFT Alphabet
A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)
Depends on his mood, honestly. If he's in a sweet and loving mood, he'll hold you, clean you, and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. But if he's just gotten home from work and is in a bad mood, most likely he'll leave you with a mess to clean and not help. Asshole.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner's)
He loves his hair the most (if that isn't obvious.) He likes the way you tug on it when he's going down on you, or when you play with while you two cuddle. On you, he adores your cheeks. It's strange to you, but he just loves them. He doesn't even know why. If they're chubby; he'll pinch them like a little old lady. If they're jiggly; he'll purposely push you around just to watch the them jiggle.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)
He prefers to finish inside, something about watching it leak out of you spurs him on so much. If you're not in the mood to deal with waddling to the bathroom and cleaning him out of you, he'll respect your wishes and not finish inside.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Leon lost his virginity in church. He probably did a summer program when he was a teenager, and met a girl there. After, he never felt so guilty. He. Had. Sex. In a place of such holiness. Dirty, little sinner.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they're doing?)
I hc him as being a slut and having tons of experience. He'll use it to his advantage if you don't have experience to teach you (Even if you told him multiple times that it was embarrassing).
F = Favourite Position
Honestly, any position works for Leon. He prefers to be on top, but if you want to he'll let you. Likes to be able to see your face during the session, watching it scrunch up in pleasure when he hits all the right places makes him feel so proud.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Again, depends on his mood. If Leon's in a good mood, he'll be more lighthearted and goofy. If he's in a bad mood, he'll be serious, probably won't even talk much besides degrading you.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
He'll trim it when necessary. It's not baby smooth, but it's not a bush. As he gets older, I could see him caring less and less about his pubes and their length. But if you nag and beg enough, Leon will trim them... Begrudgingly.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect...)
Once again, depends on his mood. If he's in a good mood, he'll whisper little praises to you, gently hold you, smile at you.... And when he's in a bad mood, he's rough, not really giving you time to prepare, insults thrown your way, he's overall a dick during times like that.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
When he was younger he jacked off a lot. But as he got older and less of a hormonal kid, he definitely doesn't do it as much as he did before. But on some rare occasions, when you're not there to help him, he'll rub one out quickly.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Bondage, handcuffs, hair pulling, marking, the list goes on. He likes being dominant and controlling during sex, so his kinks would probably be rough.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
He could (and probably has) take you anywhere, kitchen? Check. Bathroom? Check. Living room? Check. Work? Check. Home office? Check. The list goes on and on. He honestly doesn't care, as long as you're up for it.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Seeing you fight, whether its punching a punching bag or kicking a ganado's head off. He's getting a hard-on either way. You wear his clothes? He's already pressing his bulge on your back.
N = NO (Something they wouldn't do, turn offs)
He'd never really hurt you. Sure, he'll slap you around, bite you, maybe choke you a little. But he'd never draw blood or leave something that will scar, even if you're into it.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Prefers to receive more than to give. Listen, he will go down on you, and he'll enjoy it. But, he just likes watching you gag on his cock. Listening to your quiet gags and whimpers ignites something in him.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Depends on his mood. He's in a good mood, he'll be slow and sensual, you know, make love. But if he's had a bad day, he'll fuck you until you can't feel your legs.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
He likes proper sex more, but will take quickies. At work, in the shower, the kitchen, wherever.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
He thrives at the thought of being caught, knowing that whoever walks in knows that your his and his only turns him on so much. He'll have as many quickies at work as he can just so he can live with the memory of someone walking in while he's balls deep in you.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last...)
2 or 3 rounds at most. If he's really fired up, he can go for many more.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He only owns one viberator that he'll use on you, and sometimes himself.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He loves to tease, he loves to watch you writhe and beg underneath him.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
He only lets out low groans and grunts. But when you're going down on him, he'll whine, whimper, and moan.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
I believe that Leon grew up Christian and was sheltered for most of his childhood. The only "porn" he had seen (which wasn't even porn) was a lingerie catalog.
X = X-Ray (Let's see what's going on in those pants)
I'll leave this to your imagination.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Quite high. But as he gets older, his libido will slowly dissipate. But when he was younger, he had a very high libido and could get turned on by the slightest things.
Z = ZZZ (... how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He'll make sure you're clean and comfortable before he thinks about sleeping. But whenever you're ready, he'll hold you and fall asleep with you on his chest.
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Do you have any hcs abt how Curt and Owen "came out" to one another? (Using the term loosely cuz obviously they can't just be like "IM GAY") And also how they got together (who fell first etc etc)
Ok, so to preface this, my favourite thing about curtwen is just how many ways you can interpret their pre-canon relationship.
I try to keep their story relatively loose in my head, save for a few headcanons I very strongly believe in, because it's more fun this way.
For me, the #1 headcanon that's in all the iterations I think of, is that they hated each other at first. I think their personalities clash way too much for them to be all buddy-buddy on the first day. (Physical attraction? maybe. Was it minuscule compared to their irritation with each other? yes.)
I just think it's interesting how the two of them gradually (and begrudgingly) start to care about each other.
I think their "friendship stage" is one of my favourite parts about the whole thing. Now I refuse to believe either of those men have friends. Maybe coworkers and acquaintances, but not friends. Which is why this stage lasts so little.
As their work their way up to care for and respect each other, both of them go a little crazy about it.
It's the first time in years or even decades they felt genuine affection and maybe even trust, and both of them are extremely starved for it. So it really doesn't take much for them to fall for each other. (especially since the aforementioned physical attraction was always there and only getting stronger as they learned to tolerate each other)
I imagine, because of this, Owen was the one who fell first, and he employed his usual tactic for dealing with unwanted feelings: Being an ass and depriving himself of good things. He got more intense about his work, trying to immerse himself in it, so he'll stop thinking about Curt. He stayed up late, didn't even try to take it easy when he had a migraine, drank shit coffee and other great things.
It technically worked. He looked like shit, which in turn made Curt worried, and if Owen completely invalidated his worries the two of them would get into a fight, be mad at each other and not interact so much. Owen thought this would make him not yearn for Curt so bad (he still did, in fact, yearn for him that bad)
When Curt realized he was in love with Owen he was pretty horrified. Like listen. If someone has commitment issues it's Curt. Maybe he had a boyfriend or two during his teenage years/twenties, but they didn't end well, and since then he's been trying to keep everybody at arms length. He convinced himself Owen wasn't so bad because hey. They were just buddies (and Curt desperately needed a buddy.)
He tried to shove down and ignore his feelings, but moaning your friend's name while banging another guy may just be a little more than what you can avoid.
He never understood why Owen turned so cold suddenly, and he was terrified Owen just didn't like or trust him anymore. In turn he was also mad at him for trying to shut him out.
Their little hate renaissance could only last so long though. They were still each other's only friends and no matter what they did they kept being drawn back to each other.
This was a super long preface but. I am not normal about those two.
So. different scenarios and headcanons and whatnot
1. Either one of them somehow discovers the other is gay.
This would probably mean Owen finding out about Curt, because, I wholeheartedly believe that man would leave during a mission sometimes just to get a quick fuck in. Maybe Owen finds out with evidence (fast & easy method) or he just starts strongly suspecting with his great spying and deduction skills (slow & torturous method, he'd try to convince himself he's just seeing what he wants to see) either way, the confrontation would be very uncomfortable for both of them.
Curt would deny it ofc, and Owen would go through the internal battle of "tell him it's fine, you won't rat him out, but be a little homophobic about it, so maybe you can keep the only friend you have, but also be ok with the fact that he'll always be with other men and never you" or "tell him you're gay too, maybe he likes you, maybe not, and potentially risk losing your job and livelihood and everything you've ever worked for"
He'd most likely end up doing the latter, surprising both Curt and himself. (He's already way more into Curt than he admits to himself) And things escalate from there.
2. Dramatic post mission (maybe a "I thought I'd never see you again" moment)
This is where their friendship gets really interesting to me. For a scenario like this the months long yearning is a given, maybe even a lot of unresolved tension between the two (which would probably be resolved with violence anyways)
They care very deeply about each other by now. They know each other better than anyone, and their idyllic relationship is only made into a living hell by all the pining. At this point I mean, they'd buy each other birthday gifts, go over to the other's house when they were in the same country and share way too much info over drinks.
Their job is always dangerous, but even they can get scared. Maybe we're talking being crazy outnumbered, or a torture/hostage situations, or hell even a collapsing building. Point is, id either one of them thought the other (or both of them) may die, at this point they'd be impulsive enough to just say I love you or kiss the other.
In the moment neither of them would care, and later on, when you'd normally talk about things like near death makeout sessions, they'd just. not. do that, because communication is for guys with better life prospects.
This one has absolutely no coming-out talk in it, simply because they don't need it
3. Possibly drunk hookup
Now clearly, we are talking about two of the most down bad men ever. This is one scenario, I think could also work really well when they still really hated each other. Maybe throughout their first few mission they both gathered enough evidence and sussed each other out, and after (yet another) explosive fight they might just. Alleviate the tension by not beating each other up but by. other means.
They don't end up talking much about it, but it keeps happening, and wait maybe they don't even hate each other all that much. (This is the more sober option)
The other one is where the "possibly drunk" comes in. If they've been friends for a while, they probably got used to working around each other and finding comfort in the other's presence. This includes little habits, inside jokes, and even (very small) physical touches.
This probably wouldn't go down during a mission, it's more likely to happen at either Curt's or Owen's house, maybe during some holiday. Both of them realizing it's a pretty bad idea early on, because, without all the stress of the missions and navigating a foreign country all that's left is them and the feelings they have for each other. Owen would probably say no to drinks for the first few times, just to avoid a potentially dangerous situation, but Curt would wear him down eventually.
Now, with both of them drunk and comfortable, it wouldn't take much for things to escalate. Maybe Curt forgets to take his hand off of Owen after patting him on the back, or Owen holds Curt gaze for a little too long. Either way, those two end up fucking.
The next day both of them are a little horrified, but they manage to come clean about their feelings (even if it's in the most backwards and convoluted way possible)
Happy ending (or not) There's many more ways it could've happened, but I already wrote wayyyy too much I think.
In the end I don't think they'd ever have a proper conversation about homosexuality, even way into their relationship. It's something they slowly pick up on from each other. How ashamed are they, what makes them tick, what you shouldn't say etc. And then of course, since they don't communicate properly and sometimes purposefully hurt each other, they'd throw it all back in the other's face.
I'm not sure this is what you meant when you asked for hcs, but I got carried away.
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Hi! I remember you talking about doing shadow work (in a reply to an ask, I think); do you have any advice on how to start? Especially for someone who who has a really hard time with consistency/habits? Thanks!
For me it is not an intentional practice separate from my regular life, it is an orientation toward my own most negative thoughts/impulses/reactions. I do not believe that any thought is harmful or morally wrong to have, and so when I experience a thought that is violent, cruel, bitter, pathetic, prejudicial, short-tempered, jealous, whatever else, I accept it, and study it with curiosity rather than self-condemnation.
I notice patterns over time in what I am particularly un-evolved and unenlightened about. What hang ups do I have? What weird bullshit respectability politics or traditional gender norms do I still apply to myself or to others? Who do I fuckin hate and why?
Which of these things can I just kind of shrug at and accept as a feature of my programming and which ones do I see seriously holding back my life? That's probably the hardest part of shadow work for me. I'm very aware of a lot of my flaws and the things i'm irrationally emotionally reactive to and defensive about, but I get attached to my way of seeing things. It can be scary to become more open-minded and uncertain and less spiky. And some things just aren't easy to change even if I want them to. Part of shadow work means allowing oneself to be in an unfinished state.
Another part of it for me is accepting with a dark kind of gratitude that the world would be a pretty terrible place if everyone was like me. There is so much about humanity that I do not understand. I could never be a surgeon. I could never be a good parent. I could never be a social worker. There is so much I am so bad at. Maybe this is the Narcissism and Lack of Empathy talking, but I've had to really humble myself. I used to think I was so much more rational and less of a waster of time and resources than most people around me. Now I realize I have run on self-denial and repressed emotionality for a very long time and demanded that life have some Purpose when it doesn't. So a lot of my shadow work has been acknowledging my ultimate smallness and feebleness and just general uselessness -- i have a lot to be grateful to other people for doing, but also life has no purpose that needs to be fulfilled so i can just exist and suck for every single second that i'm alive if that's what i'm gonna do.
radical acceptance shit is definitely mixed in there, and some DBT kinda strategies. I've finally arrived at a place where I can love my dissatisfaction as a core part of me and accept that life is not meant to be happy and comfortable. we always keep moving, changing our environments to make them a little better, chasing after new passions and then getting disillusioned with them, falling in and out of love, getting lost. we're always lost. we're always making mistakes and being dumb as humans. that's like what we are. silly little freaks that make up lots of pretend games for fun but then get swept up in believing them too much. i kind of feel at peace now with the fact that i'll always be messy and impulsive and have weird beliefs and will change constantly and look back on my past with a cringe reaction every four or five years. i dont expect myself to ever arrive, because what the hell would that look like?? being satisfied and happy sure sounds a lot like being dead.
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