#but then i remember I'm not creative enough to dream this stuff up

[cloudblaze]

Omen of the Stars + out of context messages my sibling and I have pinned on discord

#i don't remember the exact context for all of these but I can guarantee every single one of them was about video games #my sibling and i have kinda poor memory so we love pinning messages that make us laugh and looking at them later like ''huh???'' #also! the briarlight and jayfeather one. at some point recently briar woke jay up because she was concerned he was having a bad dream #and when i read that part the sentence i put them with instantly popped into my head #which is why i drew them specifically. didn't realize til just now it seems pretty random lol #i hope i drew everyone distinctly enough that you can tell who they are. i didn't wanna fuss with labels like i usually do #anyway! I'm sharing these in case they're funny to literally anyone but me #when i'm feeling a bit art blocked looking at our conversation history for stuff like this genuinely helps! #gives me a reason to draw cats DOING or SAYING something which is always good #and makes me have to get a little more creative than usual. #warriors #warrior cats #oots #my art

[inbarfink]

Interesting to note that Fionnaworld losing it's magic is not the only thing that changed about it when Ice King was turned back into Simon Petrikov. The 'side-effects' of it being in Simon's head seem to have... inverted.

Because the whole thing about Fionnaworld being in Ice King's head is that this is how he 'got the idea' for his 'Fionna and Cake' stories. Even though Ice King was supposed to just be 'a big nutty hard-drive', it seems like IK's subconsciousness had some sort of a connection to Fionnaworld and absorbed information from it - that Ice King's conscious self then put into his stories.

This... doesn't seem to be the case with Simon. You know, it's not like he goes 'oh, I get ideas for Fionna and Cake stories sometimes I just don't want to write them because I associate them too much with the Trauma of being Ice King' or even "I can't relate to Fionna and Cake anymore! But I do have some ideas for a pre-war era story about the quarter-life crisis of a blonde girl also coincidentally named Fionna!".

There's no indication that he gets any sort of 'ideas' from the Fionnaworld in his head anymore, a fact that he attribute to, just, a lack of interest in the characters.

Maybe one could speculate that Ice King's magic-infused mind gave it more of an ability to connect to the AU God Shoved in His Head. But.... Simon Petrikov's subconscious is still connected to it on some level. As we can see by the fact Simon's thoughts and immediate surrounding keep effecting the events going on in Fionnaworld.

Did this ever happen with Ice King? It's really hard to say, since we've seen so little of the 'real' Magical Fionnaworld. It was almost always filtered via the lens of Ice King's 'fanfiction'. Like, most obvious examples of 'Fionna and Cake' stuff being influenced by IK's psyche are probably just supposed to be him rewriting the stories in an inaccurate way.

But still, since Prismo was also actively 'writing stories' for Fionnaworld, and he considered it his own personal creative outlet, and since he found Ice King to be a satisfactory 'hard drive' for it all... Like, I'm going to assume that if IK's subconscious had a noticeble effect of the events of the Magical Fionnawrold - Prism wouldn't have been happy with it.

What I think is going on is related less to the matter of the magical-ness of Simon's brain and more to the other factor that Prismo mentioned in regards for picking Ice King's brain

It's emptiness.

Under the effect of the Magic Crown's Curse, Simon has lost most of his long-term (and sometimes even short-term) memories and, like, a lot of knowledge and intellectual skills he used to have. And that meant... a lot of space to store a whole-ass universe in his head, with probably also room to spare.

And maybe even the emptiness of IK's 'cursed dome' acted a bit like a vacuum - causing some information from Fionnaworld to leak into his mind.

But once Simon became himself again, all of this information and knowledge was restored inside his head. And maybe most of the experience of being Ice King is just 'dream-like impressions' like he said back in 'Betty' - but he still seems to retain some memories of these 1000 years as well. Back in 'Betty' he seems to have immediately remembered Finn and Jake, and after being permanently cured, well... he does seem to at least remember the events of "I Remember You' vividly enough to try and recreate them.

So now Fionnaworld is in a head full to the brim with stuff and... well, now it's, like, smooshed up with all of these elements of Simon's mind and psyche. Metaphorically, I'm visualizing it as, like, a bunch of items shoved inside an overstuffed cupboard and Fionnaworld is getting squashed and bent according to the shape of Simon's thoughts and memories that are shoved up close beside it. Less 'breathing room' for the world, and so Simon's thoughts can subconsciously affect the world more. But Fionnaworld information isn't leaking out anymore cause, like, there's enough out-there already.

That might also explain why Fionnaworld seems to be so damn small. Not even a full city as much as a few blocks.

It should be about as large as the actual Land of Ooo, but it might've shrank to be 'compact' enough to still fit into Simon's no-longer-empty mind.

(But now that they're free from his head and also canonized that's no longer a concern. It's alright now.)

#adventure time #atimers #fionna and cake #fionna & cake #at #at fionna and cake #fac #f&c #adventure time fionna and cake #adventure time simon #fionna and cake simon #fionna and cake series #fionna and cake show #simon petrikov #simon adventure time #ice king #the ice king

[son-of-rap-bear-art]

So, do y'all remember the Adventure Time Mash-Up Pack for Minecraft back in like, 2017? Me and some friends have been messing around with that map lately and revamping some of the areas we consider a bit lacking with creative mode, and for me that was the Treehouse! I got ~100 reference pics from various episodes and tried to put it all together into the most autistically accurate Treehouse I could, and I wanna share it here cause I'm really proud of it!

Feel free to skip the text and just look at the pretty pictures. Cause when I say "autistically accurate" I MEAN IT. It's MY blog and I get to choose the special interest. :p

The exterior is mostly unchanged from the official map, but I added the orange tree from My Two Favorite People, and the pond. Also the log where Finn sits and thinks in Gotcha!

Yes, I will be mentioning specific episodes like this often.

I didn't make the Grotto, because I'm not THAT crazy, but I did make the pond really deep and filled it with the sort of things you see when Finn swims down there in Beyond the Grotto.

The first thing you see when you actually go inside is the treasure room, of course! The official map's treasure room is so small and sad, but I made it more accurate to how it looks in the show, with a ton of ladders and platforms going upwards until you get to the kitchen.

Speaking of, at this point I should show the layout I based the rooms' positions on...

I put this together myself and I THINK it's the most consistently accurate layout... of course, it's a cartoon, sometimes you'll get stuff like the bathroom in the left branch for the sake of a gag in Dentist, and characters will frequently run offscreen and then teleport to another room, BUT this is what I observed to be the most common layout seen when the camera will actually follow the characters through doors and ladders and etc.

Interestingly, the ladder in the trunk actually seems to connect to the kitchen, which is HIGHER than the living room, and then you have to go down a separate ladder to get to the living room. Confusing! But it checks out.

So yeah, climbing up past the treasure room takes you right to the kitchen! Some specific details to call out here are: - The picture of PB with the two spatulas is from Abstract, and I painted it myself in-game via a mod! Unfortunately I didn't get around to other paintings yet, they're a bit annoying to make. - The urn supposedly containing Margaret's ashes, from Conquest of Cuteness, is on one of the shelves. - There isn't a single torch in this whole build! It's carefully lit up with candles, just like the Treehouse should be! - There's actually this easily missable tiny room connected to the kitchen, seen in the last pic, that has another trapdoor and also the door to the bathroom. I believe that first shows up in Incendium and then stays around forever. - The cooler is entirely full of eggs, like how Finn exclusively buys pre-boiled eggs when grocery shopping without Jake, in Temple of Mars.

The bathroom! Funnily enough, the bathroom might be the least consistent room in the whole Treehouse. It's just made up of a toilet, bathtub, and sink, but these three things shuffle around the room entirely at random from episode to episode. In this sort of situation, I consider the most accurate way to handle it to be the same as the show: just put them wherever! So I did that.

That door in the kitchen leads to this room, connected by a bridge. I just called it the "bucket room" because it has a bucket that Finn and Jake ride in in Rainy Day Daydream, although that episode has a pretty wacky Treehouse in general.

I hooked up a hand crank with the Create mod, so you can use it like an elevator kinda.

Down the other ladder in the kitchen gets you to, the living room! This room's just a small round circle in some episodes, but others have it a bit bigger.

That bookshelf is there in Jake Suit, and has Dream Journal of a Boring Man, Vol 12 on it. Since one of the decor mods I'm using lets me place down books, I copied the 3 excerpts we get to see from it down into a written book, so it's even actually there!

A really inconsistent aspect of the living room is this weird platform with a door. I can only remember it appearing in In Your Footsteps and Three Buckets, but maybe I've just always missed it? I made it lead back into the trunk, so you can use it as a shortcut up to the kitchen.

Also over here is this workbench, which to my knowledge suddenly shows up in season 8 and becomes a REALLY REALLY consistent part of the living room?? Seriously, it's in Two Swords, Horse and Ball, Abstract... It's suddenly all over the place!! But I genuinely can't recall it existing before that. Am I crazy or is this an actual thing?

Anyway, connected by bridge to the living room is the den! Surprisingly, even though it barely even shows up in any episodes, the den is SUPER messy and lived in. I tried to reflect this by jamming as many decorative blocks as I could in there.

Also for some reason this fireplace doubles as a pizza oven in Abstract? Yeah, Abstract's got a really silly Treehouse. But it was easy enough to slot in there, so I did!

Way back to the kitchen and upwards: the bedroom! I always thought the bedroom was so tiny and cramped, but a good few episodes actually show it as pretty spacious! I tried to hit a good balance.

The pictures hung up around Finn's bed are a blurry, badly taken picture of Huntress Wizard, and a clearly old picture of Flame Princess. They're both cute choices for Finn's future, and are my girlfriends' respective favorite characters, so I included both :D

I also included the attic, which as far I know ONLY appears in Dad's Dungeon. I think it's neat, though, so I put it here. It'll be nice for survival mode storage.

If you exit through the attic, you can get to the cloud that Finn and Jake have tied down for its rainwater. The dripstone on the underside looks a bit ugly, but it makes it functional! If you scoop water out of any of the cauldrons with a bucket, it'll slowly refill with water from the cloud!

We're nearing the end! Here's a back shot of things. I added the power lines, Neptr's cave, and the farm. For some reason, Holly Jolly Secrets has a second, distinct set of powerlines, but those would be ugly so I didn't include them.

Lastly, the chicken coop, as seen in BMO Noire and mentioned in Three Buckets, featuring Lorraine. Who looks like Boobafina in this texture pack, which is silly.

I'm... honestly not very satisfied with the coop's placement, as BMO Noire shows it being out on a rarely-seen branch, but this is the best I could do without a major facelift on the tree itself.

So, yeah! That's the image limit. There's a good few extra details scattered around here and there, but I'll leave it at that. I hope this is as fun to read as it was for me to write :D

#adventure time #atimers #minecraft #mineblr #yall use that tag right? mineblr? #minecraft build

[talktonana]

dirty dancing. (part 1)

pairing: idol!jaemin x soloist!fem!reader

genre: suggestive *cough cough* maybe nearing smut, idol!au, strangers/colleagues to lovers, fluff (if you look reallllll closely), is this slow burn?

warnings: suggestive (obv), lots of grinding, sexy dancing, lots of close calls, boners, profanity, masturbation (m and f), sexualisation of idols, the kpop industry in general, lee soo man

parts: part 1 | part 2 | part 3

a/n: this is just an excuse for admin to use youha's new song in a jaemin fic

pls be nice this is my first fic!

taglist: @elegantren @gweenchip @onceuponateenagetrash @jaeymark @matchahyuck @ningnuts @pradagukkie @nonorelic @iwouldbangchan @wownajaemin @cr1stinx @renjunsfavaries @carelessshootanonymous @episkeyjeno @cvfechan @sunariin @belysusonrisa

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"A sexy concept?" you question, looking over at Yoona, your beloved creative director who's trying to boost your popularity in the kpop scene.

"Yeah! That is- if you're comfortable with it of course, I don't want to do anything you're not comfortable with," she replies, resting her IPad on the table in front of you, giving you a small smile of comfort, something that she always gives you when she sees you getting nervous.

You look down at the concept board presented on the bright screen, greeted with splashes of black and red— colours that are synonymous with most sexy concepts nowadays. Your eyes glaze over the mood boards of roses, bathtubs, a suspicious looking messed up bed that looks like someone already had fun in it. You weren't particularly uncomfortable with the concept. It's just that you were already quite known for your more 'summer-fun-girl' concepts filled with love songs, your fans loved it, but you knew it wasn't enough to leave a mark on music shows or awards.

"What if the fans don't like it?"

Yoona snickers at you, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Nah don't worry about that. They're gonna love you no matter what you do, especially your fan boys." You roll your eyes at her comment. You weren't gonna lie, you loved the attention from your fans. It could be because you had a praising kink (not that anything your fans said turned you on or anything), you just loved the praise, the compliments, the attention, the spotlight. Sure it's tiring but hey if you get money while looking hot then why not?

"And you said I'd have a dance partner?" you ask, looking up from the slightly warm tablet.

"Yes! We were thinking maybe another idol, not a dancer," she says, earning a surprised look from you.

"Huh? But why? I'm sure to get loads of hate from whoever this idol's fans."

"You need the publicity, we're thinking maybe someone from NCT, since they're getting really popular nowadays. And I'm too lazy to send a letter to another company for any other groups." She says, brushing off the statement you made earlier. "Come on! It'll be fun! I promise!" Yoona says, sitting next to you in an empty chair and starts clinging onto your arm, making a face that even the toughest of men would melt for.

"Come on! Please please please please please please-!"

"Alright! Alright! But I'm not dancing with Jisung! He's too young for these things," you say, remembering how shy the youngest was.

"Of course of course!" Yoona exclaims, letting out a high pitched giggle as she grabs her stuff on the table. "I'll treat you at the cafe later?"

You laughed at how excited she was. "Buy me cake, please."

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You groan as you reach over to your bedside table, struggling to turn off the alarm that had been blaring in your ears for 5 minutes. The alarm just had to go off as you were eating sundubu-jjigae (in your dream).

You sat up groggily, rubbing your eyes a bit too hard startling you awake. The time on your phone read 5:47 am. You had to be at the building at 9 for the comeback meeting so maybe a few more minutes of shut eye wouldn't hurt...

"BRRRRR BRRRRR!"

You jump from your sleep, heart palpitating in your chest as you scramble for your phone on the floor (how did it get on the floor??).

"Hello?" you say in a panicky voice.

"GOOD MORNING Y/N! ARE YOU ALMOST HERE YET?" Yoona's voice blasted in your ear, causing you to hold your phone a few inches away before eyeing at the time on the top left of the screen.

8:45 am.

Oh shit-

"Um- um I'm uhh on my way! I just stopped by Starbucks to get some coffee!" you giggled, getting up and running towards your closet to pull out anything that matched with each other. "Ya know... to kill my sleepiness... AS USUAL!"

"Thank GOD! For a moment there I thought you slept in!"

"Oh! No no... I would never!"

Yeah, totally.

"Well you better be on time, I've got the song demo ready and found you your partner so he's going to be there too! Oop- hold up my boss is calling, catch you there!" Yoona says, followed by the beeping sounds of a call ending.

You run over to the bathroom, almost slipping over as you grabbed your toothbrush. As you rushed to get ready, you couldn't help but think: who was your partner going to be? Since this comeback would be more performance focused, you thought maybe they would get one of NCT's dancers. Ten, Taeyong and Shotaro instantly came to mind, since they were heavily promoted as the best dancers in NCT (including Jisung of course, but he's too baby for this).

Maybe they would get Taeyong? He's easily one of the most popular members in NCT. Maybe Ten? You could get some recognition from two other countries too if it were him. Maybe Shotaro? He's one of their rising stars and they might want to promote him more. You secretly hoped it was Ten, since you've done a few dances together when you both were trainees and had amazing chemistry.

When you arrived at SM Entertainment's building (standing there in all its glory), you were already sweating at your pits. It didn't help that you forgot to wear socks and just slipped on your sneakers, which are sure to bruise the back of your feet once you get to the meeting room.

You burst through the door as soon as the time on your watch hits 9:10 am, your creative director looking up from her IPad.

"Ah good! You're both here!" she says, sending you a warm smile as she sets down the tablet. "And you're both late!"

Wait, both?

You look behind you before almost crashing into the face of the person behind you.

"Whoa-" the person says, backing off a little.

"Jaemin?" you say, stepping back as you place your hand on your chest to calm your frantic heart. You looked at the tall young man from top to bottom. "What are you doing here?"

"He's your partner, silly!" Yoona says before Jaemin could answer, pulling you in and pushing you to sit down on a chair saved for you, Jaemin quickly joined and sat on the other side. You noticed your producer, Jaeyeon, sitting at the very end of the table, scrolling through his phone as his feet bounced (which is a telltale sign that he was getting impatient).

"Sorry for being late..." you muttered, a burning sensation creeping up your cheeks as you placed your bag under the table between your legs, hearing the same words being muttered by Jaemin. You looked over at him, eyes glazing over his features. You weren't gonna lie, he's the visual of NCT Dream for a reason, and you knew he was a good dancer, at least, from the SMTOWN concerts you all had last year.

"So, y/n, I'm sure you know Jaemin. He's going to be your dance partner for the comeback," Yoona says, standing in front of the table you all were sat at. "I wanted to get Taeyong or Ten but they both have schedules with 127 and WayV, and you made it very clear that you didn't want Jisung so we asked the other Dream members and Jaemin volunteered!"

You looked over at Jaemin who gave you a warm smile back which stirred something in your guts but you chose to ignore it (must be because you haven't had breakfast yet).

"So if you both are okay with the concept idea so far, I'll play the demo now?" Yoona continues, sitting down at a chair near the big display tv that they mostly use to do presentations. She presses the remote on her hand and you listen.

(stan mommy youha <3)

You quickly realised how different this song was compared to your previous comebacks. It was... sensual. Very sensual, but it sounds so sad, heartbreaking almost. Like it was meant to make you feel desperate. Your brows furrowed as you listened to the lyrics.

Promise me our love flame will never go out

Promise me our love will last forever, babe

'Toxic love?' you thought. You were expecting something more on the blatant sexy side, seducing maybe, narcissistic. But this was equally as interesting. Desperate love, toxic love, wanting the other person to not leave you and stay with you forever.

It felt intoxicating and you loved it.

"So, any thoughts?" you looked up from your hands, eyes meeting with Yoona.

"I love it, though I'm still worried that the fans won't be too familiar with this kind of sound coming from me," you stated, feeling a little nervous at the thought of fans disliking the song.

"I think it suits you," the male opposite you says in a calm tone, grinning a little.

"What's that supposed to mean?" you ask out of curiosity. Was it the lyrics?

"Oh- no no! I mean like, I think your voice would suit the song a lot," Jaemin corrects himself, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks as he uses his hands to explain, which made you giggle a little.

"Well if you both like the song we can proceed with it, if not I'll try to find something less... depressing I guess?" Yoona says, looking up as she thinks.

"Oh no! I love it, and I kind of wanna try something different than my usual, you know, 'I love you, lets go and run off into the sunset and live happily ever after' vibe," you say, trying to reassure Yoona who was already pouting, earning a slight chuckle from Jaemin.

"You sure, y/n?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Besides, everyone enjoys a sad song every once in a while. What harm would be done?"

"You're gonna go viral with this song, y/n," Jaemin says, throwing his thoughts on the table. "Half of it because of me of course- I'M KIDDING," he quickly says as he notices you giving him the stank eye. He grins back, winking at you.

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Two hours went by and you were still discussing the concept with Yoona and Jaemin. You could already feel your stomach begging to be filled with a sandwich, plus your feet were killing you due to forgetting to wear socks. You were praying that Yoona would wrap this up quick because at this point you were ready to take a bite out of her stupid IPad.

"I think that's enough to discuss today, I have to head off to another meeting," you hear the woman say, watching her starting to clean up her stuff. "Any last words maybe?"

"I'm good," you say, giving Jaemin a look that you hoped he understood.

Jaemin looked at you, almost bursting out laughing. "Yeah I'm good too, plus I could use some lunch."

You gave Jaemin a smile that said "thank you, you're a life saver!" before getting up and leaving the now-stuffy-room as soon as Yoona dismissed everyone.

As you speed-walked through the hallway, you were eager to get to SM's cafe before lunch hour started (because holy it can get crowded there). You had the menu in your mind, memorized from start to finish, and boy did that Bibimbap illustration on the far left of the menu look amazing. You pressed the elevator button as soon as you arrived, feeling the back of your heels hurting already (why did you have to be sock-less and hungry?). You didn't know if you pulled a face, but you assumed you did when Jaemin came up to you, eyebrows slightly knotted on that beautiful forehead of his.

"You're in a hurry," he says, finally catching up to you while he puts a baseball cap on, pulling his hair back as he does. "Let me guess, you woke up late, couldn't eat breakfast, ran over here and..." he paused for a moment, almost dramatically even. "... you forgot your socks?"

He shot him a confused look. "How did you know?" you ask, feeling slightly embarrassed that your new colleague saw you in such a state.

Way to make a first impression, y/n.

"Just a hunch... oh and I can see that you have no socks on, you're gonna get blisters."

"Yeah, no shit, probably bleeding as you're rambling about me being sock-less," you say sarcastically, giving him an almost pitiful smile. "And I'm hungry, thank Lee Soo-man the song sounded good, I might have gotten a headache if it didn't," you continued, earning a chuckle from the male at your use of the CEO's name. He follows you into the elevator (surprisingly and conveniently empty) before looking over at you, biting his bottom lip slightly.

"Wanna have lunch together?" he says, almost nonchalantly.

"You're not eating with your members?" you ask, looking up at him. Usually the dreamies sat at one table at the very back of the cafe away from windows, maybe they liked the privacy.

"Mark and Donghyuck have full schedules today and the rest of the dreamies are sleeping in at home. Plus, we're gonna be working together a lot, we should at least get to know each other, no?"

He wasn't wrong. If you both just started practicing the choreography together without him even knowing your age it would get awkward real quick. Especially since you both would be grinding on each other and touching each other a lot.

"Yeah, you're right. How old are you again?" you say, turning to face him. You can see in the corner of your eye the red numbers on the elevator screen going down: 7,...6,...5,...

"23."

"Oh- not that far away from me then," you say, him tilting his head in response. You smile before you continue "I'm 23 too."

"No way, I thought you were way older than me," he snarks before laughing at your unamused expression. "I'm kidding, of course."

To say that Jaemin hadn't entertained you that afternoon during lunch would be a lie. You couldn't stop laughing at his complaints about being roommates with Jisung, waiting for Jeno to arrive to practice every time they had schedules, Mark forgetting the choreography and begging for them to teach him multiple times. It kind of made you jealous, since you were a soloist, you didn't really have to worry about other people messing up. Your backup dancers were really good, they didn't have any problems catching up to the choreography. You didn't have to wait for anyone to start practicing. You didn't have to share your dorm with anyone. Occasionally you would run into Ningning and Karina but only small talk was ever exchanged between you and them.

Well now you had one person to wait for during practice.

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A huff left your lips when you almost pushed Jaemin down during the chorus for the 5th time. You stared at yourself in the mirror before feeling the frustration take over you.

"Hey, let's take a break, y/n. We've been going at this for over an hour now," your partner says, sitting next to you while handing over a plastic water bottle, stretching out his legs so the bottom of his soles met the mirror you were facing. Defeated, you accepted the bottle and sat next to him.

"I'm trying my hardest, I swear," you sighed, almost choking on your words.

"You're not used to such sensual dances, huh?" Jaemin asks, turning to face you, a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead. You nodded, giving a small smile back at him.

"You'll get there, even Jisung had a hard time being confident when we practiced for our more suggestive songs," he continues, taking a sip from the bottle and you watched as his adams apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed.

"How did you do it?" you ask, pouting a little remembering how awkward you looked during the dance when he was grinding behind you while you looked like a squirming worm.

"Hm?"

"How do you become... sexy?"

"I was just born sexy," he says, earning a slap on the arm from you and him mouthing 'ow' back. He chuckled before continuing "I guess it's all about confidence. You know, you just gotta feel- no, wait, you have to know that you are, in fact, very sexy."

"Okay... but what if I don't think I'm sexy?"

"But you are," he says bluntly.

"Well I don't feel like I am," you say back, hugging your legs and pouting, which you didn't notice but he found adorable.

Jaemin admitted to himself a few weeks ago that he might've had the slightest, tiniest crush on you. Both of you had grown closer since the first meeting and had been out to lunch together almost everyday. Haechan teases him everyday for not eating with the Dreamies anymore but he always butted back that it was so that you wouldn't have to eat alone.

He's grown incredibly fond of your late night rants when you both come home late from practices. He loves it when you get frustrated while practicing (he finds it cute), and he couldn't deny he might've even gotten hard while practicing with you, despite the fact that you stated that you weren't sexy. He found you incredibly sexy. He didn't know if it was hormones or if you were just that attractive but he couldn't help himself imagining pinning you against the practice room's mirror walls and having his way with you.

Jaemin looked at you in the mirror before saying "You know sometimes when I can't feel sexy I just strip down and practice in just pants or boxers."

You gawk at him. "What-? How does that help?"

"Hey I have abs, my fans love my abs. I gotta appreciate them every once in a while."

"So you're suggesting I should strip down to my underwear?" You chuckled at the idea, although it was tempting if that's what it takes to make you feel sexy.

Jaemin stuttered, a visible red hue tainting his cheeks. "I mean- if you're comfortable of course, like when you're practicing on your own and stuff. Not that I'm encouraging you or anything- I mean-"

"I get it, Nana," you chuckled at his behaviour. "I'll think about it though."

Jaemin looked down as he felt blood rushing down to his middle at the thought of you practicing the dance with you stripped down. Oh it would be one of his wildest dreams! Having to hold you from behind during the chorus's grinding move, so close to him, he would've combusted right then and there.

"I'm gonna need the toilet, be back in a minute," he says, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

A series of curses leave his mouth as he runs off towards the nearest toilet which fortunately wasn't very far. With sweaty hands he locked himself in a stall, leaning against the cold plastic divider separating him from the other stalls. He looked down, seeing the tent in his grey sweatpants already growing, begging to be released.

'Why did you have to be so hot?'

He fiddled with the drawstrings of his pants, thinking if it was morally okay to be thinking of you like this. You two were just colleagues, that's all. Nothing more. He couldn't ask for more anyway, he's a public figure. He has fans. And most importantly, he thought you'd probably be uncomfortable and would hate him if you ever found out.

If.

He swallows the saliva building in his mouth, taking the deepest breath of his life before pulling the band down, pulling his throbbing length out. It was already erect, pulsing slightly when he remembers how ravishing you looked when you were sitting in front of him, lolling your head back to the music during practice just now. How he could've just swung in front of you and pushed into your mouth.

He bit his bottom lip, already stroking himself as the memory of you on top of him during the high note of the song. Your voice sounded so mesmerising during that part, he almost came because of it. A whiny, desperate high note. He could only imagine what it would sound like if it was his name instead.

His fingers delicately fluttered to his tip, digging his thumb gently into his slit making him shiver, imagining it was you doing it. Your obviously more gorgeous hands exploring every inch of him. You were so close and yet he couldn't have you the way he wanted to, and that only frustrated him even more.

Faster and faster his hand goes until he finally releases into the toilet in front of him, letting out a low moan and holding onto the wall of the stall with his free hand while the other pumped him clean. He could feel his face heating up as he imagined you were clenching around him, taking every bit of him into you. He was down bad and he knew it.

How wrong it was, yet how good it felt.

#Spotify #talktonana #ttn: dirty dancing #jaemin #nct dream #nct imagines #jaemin fics #jaemin smut #jaemin x reader #nct scenarios #nct #jaemin fluff #jaemin drabbles #nct drabbles #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct dream x reader #nct dream smut #nct x reader

[polarisbibliotheque]

So like, less of a suggestion and more of a question - I recently found your works and have just been blown away by the details (like, seriously, you're on the top of my favorite writers list) and just how... perfect you craft everything? I genuinely inspire to be like you, but the problem is that I've hit a rut - I'm super unsatisfied with my writing, and whenever I try to get back into the writing zone, I just fall flat. Is there any advice you could give on how to improve one's writing? What would be your tips and tricks at getting into that writing zone?

(Do apologize me taking SO LONG to answer, but I had some health emergencies the last couple of weeks and ended up in the hospital – I’m doing better now, chilling at home and trying to recover. My doctor is 90% sure I have Crohn’s Disease and I’m having many ups and downs trying to find a proper treatment that I seem to respond to. BUT…)

…I hope you are aware of how much you made me smile, blush and almost indulge into my teary eyes upon reading this. Hahahaha seriously, thank you SO much!! I can’t even thank you enough, I’m just in pure awe that another being in this big ol’ world we live in thinks so highly of my writing!!

I mean, not even I think that highly of my writing. Notice a pattern? ;)

One thing I learned being an artist – not only writing, I also draw, play the piano, write music on my free time/when inspiration hits, everything creative, I’m there, doing it – is that we’re never really satisfied with our work. We will always think we could’ve done something better, and we’re definitely going to be pretty “meh” about a lot of things we do – even when other people think it’s a masterpiece.

And that is good! We’ll always strive to perfect our skills! You just have to remember to appreciate the work you do even when you’re not completely satisfied with it. You will get to where you want to – but then, you’ll wish to improve even more! And that is awesome!

But hey, I do have some tips and tricks on improving and getting into that writing vibe!

For the people getting to the party now, my main tip on improving is here, in the first part of the answer for this ask! Now, now…

(long post below, as expected YEE BEEN WARNED!)

Regarding improving:

Read. A. Lot. Hahaha I know that’s quite an obvious one, but it’s really important. Personally, I think reading mindlessly just to fill a quota of “I read 25 books a month” doesn’t work. It works when you absorb it – when you allow yourself to plunge into the world of the book you’re reading, feeling the characters, the emotions, the settings… That helps you build your “mental library” so to speak! And sometimes you’ll find things and expressions you like that you might use both on your daily speech and while writing – for instance, I have this awful thing of saying “there’s a lack of wings to my words” whenever I’m speechless, because of Homer’s Odyssey. I freaking LOVE that book, I loved that expression, I use it all the time, and it has definitely bled into my writing.

WRITE! A LOT! Write bad stuff, good stuff, short 2 pages thing-ys that you go “hey that’s a good idea!” but you’ll never actually turn into a full story, random scenes, fanfiction, stupid fanfiction, serious fanfiction, self-indulgent stories, stories for your family, stories for yourself, stories for whoever wants to read or not, dreams that could be great stories… The point is to write. It’s much like drawing or playing the piano: if you don’t practice, you won’t get better and you won’t develop your style. The more you practice, the better you get! So don’t be afraid to write bad stuff, cringy stuff, or ridiculous stuff – or even stuff you thought would be awesome and turns out bad, or stuff you think will never turn into anything that turn amazing! One way or another, you’ll be refining your craft!

Identify what you like on writers you admire. I started noticing that while reading The Silmarillion. The Lord of the Rings is my favorite book since I read it for the first time when I was 15, but I didn’t pick up The Silmarillion until I was around 22 – and by then, I started underlining with a light pencil all the phrases I liked most, something my mom did on her old books when she was around my age. I then started taking a look at what I liked about Tolkien’s writing so much – and in other books too: what kind of phrases seemed to resonate more with my soul. Which ones brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face. And then I notice I tend more to the unconventional ways of describing things.

For instance, instead of going like “she was beautiful, with pale skin under raven dark hair, blue eyes shining on her fair face” I tend to go for the unconventional, sort of eerie, not so much taken for granted kind of describing “her beauty glowed like the first pale star to glisten in the evening sky, under a deep sea of dark, velvety hair, making her eyes twinkle like sapphires with a smart look while carrying the light she kept in her soul”. If I had to, the second one would be how I’d describe Arwen or Lúthien, giving them that ethereal otherworldly beauty they have. It's also the one that evokes more feelings inside of me rather than just a mental image.

That’s why I try to describe some things in a different light. When I’m writing, I want people to feel something – but how can you describe that feeling of joy when you hug someone you love and the whole world fades for a minute? That’s when I go for the “his heart bled with gold while his hands never wanted to let them go. For a minute, time seemed to stop and there was nothing else but his heartbeat intertwining with theirs, beating as the same song – even if theirs was more melodic while his was more melancholic. It was that kind of tune that made his lungs not remember how to breathe and his eyes pour – while his lips reflected all the gold that cascaded from his heart.” It’s a quick (rather ridiculous) example, but I do think about some things: how when I feel like that, I tend to have a hard time breathing and I do cry, but it’s because I want to smile so much I cannot contain it. Then I try to describe those feelings with metaphors and poetic stuff because I’m a melodramatic bitch.

Jokes aside, it’s because I like that sort of writing that has that beauty behind it – or more of a melancholic approach. It’s what resonates the most with me and I adopted it, even if sometimes it feels too… Abstract. I like that ability of people piecing the abstractness together and having their own interpretation – and that’s what makes people have different feelings while reading the same thing.

Is this for everyone? Absolutely not. I bet some people despise all that poeticness I like to put on words to lace them like a painting, you know? So, the more you re-read the things you like, you’ll start identifying what resonates with you and you can apply that to your own writing!

And that doesn’t mean you’ll have to be locked on that writing style as well. I’m currently trying to finish a book (I hope someday I can publish it) which is a cyberpunk style story, with lots of inspiration from Cyberpunk 2077, Blade Runner, John Wick (yes, Keanu Reeves sends his regards) and all that poetic writing doesn’t quite fit there. I’m using more of a direct approach, but there’s a lot of existentialism and reflecting on overcoming grief, trauma, owning your own life and contemplating one’s own mortality – and that’s where that poetic, metaphoric, melancholic, bittersweet characteristic of my writing style comes into play. And then everyone starts cursing and shooting each other again :)

Having a style doesn’t mean getting stuck in it – it means knowing when and where to use it!

Now regarding getting into the writing zone:

I freaking ADORE music and it helps me A TON while I’m writing. It’s like setting the mood. I’m trying to be sexy, or mysterious, or having that vampire-y vibe? Depeche Mode playlist it is. Fight scenes? Metal and Electronic. I need to freaking focus and get to work without thinking too much about the music (or start dancing like crazy whenever a song I love comes in and there I am, dancing and singing in my room at 3 a.m)? Piano playlists – classic, modern, everything and anything, as long as it is piano.

Playing music that goes with what I’m writing also helps. For my cyberpunk book, for instance, I put on the Cyberpunk 2077 OST playlist/radio on, or I search for “Cyberpunk Ambience/Playlist” on Youtube and let it roll while I write. For my King Arthur stories (yes, still working on them), I put on Celtic music compilations, Enya, Loreena McKennitt or the piano playlists. For my vampire stories, be the medieval or the near-future one, dark piano, Dark Wave, etc. Perhaps searching for that one playlist that has to do with your story setting and listening to it for some time might get you in the zone!

I also usually write deep in the night. Because I’m a spawn of Dracula. After everyone at home has gone to sleep, I make myself some hot tea, sit on my computer, start listening to music and write. That’s because I know I won’t be interrupted, and I can do just that. Sometimes, I start writing at 1 a.m, other times earlier, other times later. Try to notice when your ideas seem to flow better and when you get more into the zone – but please, don’t be unhealthy as I am and go to sleep at a decent hour. I’m not an example here with my sleeping schedule hahahaha

Cringy moment: when I’m stuck, I act the last scene I wrote as one of my characters in the shower and, usually, ideas start to come in (and I have to get off the shower). Hahahaha now that’s just a weird one, but I have NO idea why, my best ideas arise in the shower. Water has a weird effect on me, so sometimes I just stand there with warm water pouring over my head and, lo and behold, I’m exiting the shower in a hurry because I just got my writer mood back HAHAHA so maybe some very mundane activity – like cooking, taking the trash out, cleaning the room – might be where your writer brain will come to life. You never know.

Needless to say, I talk to myself a lot, sometimes as if I’m talking to the characters. That is a very bad coping mechanism I developed when I was being bullied at school – I used to pretend Dante was with me when I was alone or something had happened and I needed someone by my side, so nowadays I have a very easy time writing this man. I started doing that with some of my characters, and that goes for repeating lines or part of the stories I’m writing to see if I can get un-stuck. It’s not the greatest of things, but it works. My neighbors might think I’m crazy, though xD

When I’m completely unmotivated or I keep staring at the blank page without being able to write, I try to immerse myself in what I’m writing about. So, if I’m stuck on my cyberpunk book, I watch some Cyberpunk 2077 let’s plays, I re-watch the Edgerunners anime, I re-watch Blade Runner, I re-read some parts of Do Androids Dream of Electrical Sheep? or I, Robot, I listen to Blade Runner’s soundtrack, I even try to play Cyberpunk 2077 (while praying not to get motion sickness or not having my pc exploding from overworking). If I’m stuck on my King Arthur works, then I re-watch the 2004 movie (may the gods bless Ioan Gruffudd and his wonderful Lancelot and Mads Mikkelsen as my beloved Tristan), re-read the 3 books on the Chronicles of Arthur series, listen to some Celtic music, research Arthurian stories for hours on the internet, search for my encyclopedias at home to see if they have something on King Arthur, read obscure translated manuscripts from ancient times on it … So, immersing yourself on reading, researching, listening to music, watching movies, playing videogames, listening to stories, watching series, reading mangas, watching anime, documentaries, going to the movies, basically doing anything that has to do with the theme you’re writing, may get you in the mood. Next time you sit down to write, it might flow wonderfully!

I don’t force myself to write, though. If I do, I usually can’t write a single decent word and I’ll hate it. If things aren’t flowing – and this I learned with my mom, who also draws – I leave it for a while and go do something else. Maybe I’ll have some warm tea, or watch a completely unrelated movie, or read my current book, or talk to my parrot in the kitchen, play some piano, draw a little, or just take a good nap. My mom says it refreshes the head and the eyes, and when you come back to it, you’ll be a lot more inclined to find things that weren’t working and let those creative juices flow.

I also have a very weird search history and I’m not ashamed of it. All writers do, and it’s better to have a weird search history than not knowing what you’re talking about, honestly. And sometimes, researching takes a lot more time than writing and might get you motivated – time spent learning is never wasted. Even if you’re learning what kind of dates grow in Greece and are offered to Apollo (bless his heart).

Sometimes, I write something completely unrelated, with a very different theme, and stupidly goofy – and that gets me back to the writing vibes. Sometimes there’s just this need of writing something for the sake of writing, and you just want something foolish to make you smile like a goof. It’s valid and it might be your ticket out of writing-rut-land.

Now some little uncalled for advices:

I spent too long being self-conscious and too serious about it. If it’s not your style, don’t force it. Some people need structure, other people thrive in chaos – know what’s your style and go for it. I hate planning novels, for example. But I will outline the main points of the story and the ending – the rest, well, the characters have to show me whatever else they’re doing, and I have to go with it. Sometimes there are huge arcs I didn’t plan as a main point of the story, but they pop up in the middle of it and they are important – I like leaving that room for impromptu writing/creating. So, find out how it works for you, not how it works for everyone else.

You don’t have to create masterpieces right at the first time you’re writing. Take my King Arthur thing-y for example. I wrote the full story when I was 15. When I was in college, I decided to re-write it. And then, when I was at work, I decided to re-write the re-write. And now, I just took all my files, read them, thought about it all, outlined a whole new story and decided to write anew. Not re-write, but take all that work and write as if I had never written anything before – in the original file, the main characters were 15 years old and in school, now they have their jobs at Universities and work on the secret society that is now a lot more fleshed out and built with loads of new characters around (including a new one I created yesterday after months not thinking about it).

If I hadn’t written the Twilight-sort of embarrassing thing when I was 15, I wouldn’t have this whole universe, characters and story to build upon nowadays. It wasn’t a masterpiece, but it was a good idea – and I’ll keep working on it until I’m happy with it. It’s been 13 years I’m working on it now, maybe when it reaches its 15th anniversary, I’ll be able to finally let it see the light of day!

Don’t listen to the “NEVER DO THIS!!” advices. Seriously. Writing is a form of art – and, as in all art, there isn’t a right or wrong. By all means, see what people are saying it’s bad and you should never do – I watch and read those advices so I can learn to be better too! – but don’t take it to heart. As Captain Barbossa would say, it’s more of a guideline than rules set in stone. Sometimes, something people say you should NEVER EVER do is something that works perfectly fine for you and your style of writing. Learn to make up your own mind: learn new things, listen to advices, but absorb those that resonate with you and leave those that don’t. That’s how you create your own opinion about things and how you find your writing style!

One fun thing to point out on this as an example: me, my mom, my sister and my dad ADORE reading. My sister loves Jane Austen, my mom is a super fan of Dostoyevsky and Russian literature, while my dad lives for Isaac Asimov and all things sci-fi. I love sci-fi, my mom can’t stand it. I read Dante’s Inferno in a week and my mom couldn’t get past the first verses. My sister can’t read poetry at all and is terribly bored by Lord of the Rings. My dad read my Chronicles of Arthur books and even told me to buy the complete the series. Me and my sister enjoyed Khaled Hosseini’s books a lot, but my mom never felt like reading them.

All of this to say: it’s not a matter of who’s more intellectual than the other, it’s a matter of who likes which kind of literature and writing styles. Some people are more comfortable with one way of writing or a certain kind of literature and can’t stand others – and that’s ok. Writing is pretty much the same. THERE ARE NO FIXED RULES! BE A REBEL!

If it helps you: character sheets. Around 8 years ago – or more – I searched and searched online for the character sheet that could help me the best. I had never done it before and thought it was quite useless, until I downloaded one and started filling the infos on my main characters of my Arthurian sort of story. Lo and behold, they became SO MUCH BETTER and that’s when I started rewriting everything: I understood all characters a LOT better and made better decisions when writing them. It doesn’t work for everyone, though, but it’s a lot of fun for me. Currently, I don’t use it much because I now know what are the main things I need for my characters to seem alive, but it’s always nice to have a reference when you’re writing.

My cyberpunk story, for instance, it has A BUNCH of characters with scars, different hair colours, different eye colours, the way they dress, birthmarks, cyber-implants, cyber-prothesis, dressing styles… And sometimes I get lost in it. So it’s nice keeping a character sheet when I go like “wait, she has burn marks on the left arm or the right arm…?”

And keeping a file on worldbuilding might be helpful as well. I noticed that writing my cyberpunk thing. The first thing I wrote was a huge file explaining the city, the factions, the districts, people’s styles, who are the viruses, the sub-types of viruses, the political parties, the police and secret police, the difference between artificials and organics, how does access to the world works, what is the Ocularis system, the most important corporations, their names, their owners… And all those things will probably never appear on this story.

But I felt a HUGE difference. Instead of info-dumping right at the beginning to make the reader understand how the world is built and how it works, I started it right at an important point in the story. No one knows anything about how things work, but, as the characters speak to each other, they talk about so many things that the reader catches things and pieces together how all things are organized.

Don’t try to explain everything. Tying with I said before, if you have a very good idea of how things work, how the characters relate to each other, how they react and how they think, you won’t need to info-dump. I usually think I’m seeing my characters going about their day and that is ALL I’m describing: what they are saying, feeling, thinking and doing. If I feel something is missing for people to fully understand, then I add something quite minimal to help. But I don’t overexplain: people are intelligent and they can piece things together.

Don’t go full Marvel movies and explain everything as if no one can understand unless you say it. Go Nolan and try to make people understand with images, feelings, glances, metaphors and such. It’s very effective in writing! (Don’t get me wrong, I do like Marvel movies, but they have become those kinds of movies that require little mental effort because literally everything will be explained in a huge monologue or through dialogue. You don’t always need dialogues – and if you say “oh that’s too ambiguous and people won’t be certain about it” that’s the beauty of art: it’s always up to interpretation)

Having someone to read and give you feedback might be very helpful too. I have a few friends every now and then I send some of my stories so they’ll read and give me an honest feedback. I try to listen to their opinions and refine my work – but if I think they critique doesn’t make sense, I thank them anyway and keep on doing my thing. Like I said, know when to take what makes sense and when let go of something that doesn’t. Also: feedback is NOT a personal attack. DON’T TAKE IT TO HEART. See it always as something you may need to improve – and you’ll improve quicker.

At the end of the day, writing is art. And all art is relative.

Your art will be great to some and horrible to others – and that’s ok! Again, learn to NOT make it personal (the critiques, I mean, because art is always personal and that’s wonderful, I think).

And repeat after me: you will not please everyone. The point is to make yourself proud. You’ll find your people along the way.

Do it because you love. Do it because it comes from your heart, from your soul. The world has become so filled with content, mindlessly created by artificial intelligence so we will keep consuming, that things have lost so much of their soul.

To make art, to write, is to have soul. If you have that heart, that passion in your work, it will show – and people will follow. When you sit to write, don’t make it a chore, don’t make it an aesthetic tiktok post, don’t follow the routine of this or that famous artist – do what you have to do and let your heart flow. Do it for you.

I think that’s the main advice I can give. Don’t do content to post on social media and look good, do your art. Push your boundaries, test new things, write in ways you never did before, but do your thing.

When everyone is doing the same thing over and over again, you’ll realize your words will stand out by doing what you want to do.

Again thanks for attending my TED Talk xD

#polaris speaks #writing advice #writing tips #writing #writing help #writing tips and tricks #answered asks #asks #anon ask #there we gooooo second part of super long post xD #do forgive anon #and do forgive taking so long #but I hope these will help somehow #I'm not the best person to give advices #but maybe these things I did for learning and refining my writing will help other people too #and the motivational speak at the end as well xD #we all need some of that

[damelucyjo]

I was tagged by @roamwithahungryheart 💛 Thanks lovely!

Are you named after anyone? Lucy is my maternal great-grandmother's middle name.

When was the last you cried? Last night watching Drag Race: UK vs The Worlds...

Do you have kids? Nope. I have 3 nephews who are more than enough!

What sports do you play/have you played? During school, I did dance, rounders, netball, football, lacrosse, badminton... maybe more I can't remember haha

Do you use sarcasm? It's my first language...

What is the first thing you notice about people? From far away, it's how they carry themselves and interact with others. Up close, it's their eyes.

What is your eye colour? Dark blue.

Scary movies or happy endings? Both. I love a great scary movie, but sometimes you just need a nice happy ending!

Any talents? I'm creative in various ways, which I've been told is a talent 🤷🏼‍♀️ I'm also hypermobile if that's still considered a talent...

Where were you born? St. Albans (just outside of London)

What are your hobbies? Reading, doodling, listening to music... watching TV... usual stuff haha

Do you have any pets? 2 doggies; a 10-year-old Jack Russell and a 6-month-old German Shepherd.

How tall are you? 5" 4.5'

Favourite subject in school? Theatre & History were the only lessons I ever looked forward to going to.

Dream job? Something creative. I do know from experience thought that I much prefer jobs where no two days are the same... so whatever job that is 🤷🏼‍♀️

No pressure tagging: @atearsarahjane @acrazyobsession @sunflower1274 @chiefofmilfs @evandstuff @banditsregina @racheltuckerrr @rahleeyah @modern-day-classic @catelyngrant @theultimateclare @georginahobart @writtenndust

#love doing these kinda things #passes 5 minutes anyway... #tagged posts

[mariki33]

PART 2

The Nordmark pod interview translated SWE-ENG

I have left out Per Nordmarks moments of reminiscence..

Please excuse things lost in translation and lack of knowledge in the English language 🙈

I also want to say that translation from spoken words to written can be quite challenging at times..

Enjoy fellow Ghostie's 👻🖤🇸🇪

T: -For my part it's very important. It was this, that was so fucking hard on that tour, i didn't get to have my days off. Days off,, you don't need them because you don't want to play, but to break the repetetiveness. On the level we are, in my regim and the way i want to do it i really feel we should do that. Mainly because we aren't 19 anymore. We are, we must keep up, we have to stay in shape to make it work. So when on the road there isn't much party and no more than to see to you're in shape and been sleeping enough. Stuff like that. A really good way to get out of shape is to get wasted drinking. It really makes you feel like shit.. It's fucking awesome a couple of days and the it's -Oh Fuck! But instead it can be really good to, it's gold when you have TWO days off, Then we always do it like this, the few times we have two days off. It doesn't happen often but when it does we always have a tour crew party. The first day so everyone get a day off after. It's very important.

……

…

T :No people tend to think it's like travelling. Like a vacation. And it isn't', It really isn't, and i believe, when you're not in a touring band or a professional like that. I think you have a vision that being a professional musician and touring a lot ,is like, creative,, -And it isn't. It's kind of repetitive. There are creative periods..-And of course you can have creative moments when ever. And I, I come up with ideas all the time, building for the next step or figure out something new. But the "work" in itself is repetetive.

….

N: Its not like, write a bunch of new songs on tour.

T: I can't do it like an obligation.

…

T: I think one may do yourself a disservice.. Have you ever brought a book to read on tour and ended up not reading it? It's classical and i've done it so many times, and eventually figured out, -I won't do that. I pack lighter and simplify things. And in that same fashion i plan my days now. It's based on me,, all the time, is here to work. The, my days off now.. One thing i do, and i like really much, when i have free time, and come to cities i've been to for several times, and especially when you have mate there, then the best thing is to visit them in their home. Or, just hanging out with someone "sightseeing" with someone who knows the town. Or, have a friend flown in and make a "tourist thing" together, a side step.

Because then you'll Moon walk in the the next day and -Fuck Yeah! Let's do this!!

…

…..

One thing! I give can you a tip. Now, someone who do professional soccer or Soccer in general. Correct me if i'm wrong. But, one thing i always do, especially if i feel a bit down in the dumps for some reason. It's like, in the dressing room i put You Tube on. And put on a video with something you're sure of made you want do to what you do. You know..Like: " Let's spend the night together".. Queen live, you know, Wembley -85/-86. Like that! Something that makes you OUUHAHH !!! Then i remember my dream and how far i am. And i've thought of this when it comes to soccer or hockey, or whatever. Like -"Do you ever play a compilation of"… Well, kids of today what do they like, closest to it gotta be "Zlatan".. Because, our generation it would be "Maradona" or.. "Don't you play a compilation of his greatest goals"? -No, never.. -"Why not!! It's ga ga ga, It's that, that is the dream. Damit! Like "Iniesta" scoring the last goal, last second, and wins the whole thing. That's the whole idea with this. I believe! ( "who never played soccer").. Or Freddie Mercury Wembley -85 or -86 It's the whole idea with why i want do this. So you have to remind yourself of the of the dream.. -Then i'm back on track.

…..

..

N: Did you ever doubt if you ended up in the right place?

T: Eh, ahh,, In connection to being part of "Crash Diet" (or the Crash Diet that we were part of, that was something different than it became later) my world opened up. I grew up with, with very melodic music like . Ehh, i went, it was a mix and came from a mixed, but everything have always came out of rock. But A lot of Pop radio and all that it was in the eighties, and like, the legacy of the seventies eem, Then it was my brothers music. He listened to everything from Hard Rock, Ee. to punk and synth, and a lot of stuff. And then there was my moms sixties influence. So when i had been digging around in death metal and black metal in almost ten years,, -Yes when i was 22 i'd been doing death metal since i was 12. So for ten years nurturing a dream. If I'll be completely honest with my dream for Repugnant it was to,, It was "old school death", but i thought i somewhere, it would be possible to make it a "thing" or something. I thought, if [Tobias mentions a couple of band names, can't hear what i says] can do it. Or Pestilence or the fuck, others. I thougt we'd be signed with Road Runner going on tour supporting Slayer. Like, i wanted to become a real band. There were so many bands before us that had made it.. And i couldn't understand why we were ..But we was so extremely out of date, we didn't work in the era we where in, in the end of the nineties. So, in the beginning of the twenties, i was about 20 then, it started to show up a lot of "rock stuff" Both in Sweden, it was sort of rock, its hard, to without sounding harsh but i don't mean anything by it, but like action rock, easy rock and all that. In 2000-02 And there was the strikes and Frans Ferdinand and all that happened. So i went like, -The fuck, wait! Like i also want to play melodic music too. Because i have it im me. Eh mm.. And it was like tricky in the beginning. I met David Hellman, or Dave Leppard. Ehm..and he also wanted to play rock eeh.. and then it showed he wanted to do sleezy rock, While i was more like…My sleeze taste, i definitely don't mind the seventies glam rock, and i like Guns 'n' roses, but, but Aeeh, and Skidrow will do, But then There are a lot of stuff definitely! don't like. And he really wanted to go all in on Poison, Some of Stryper and a lot of other stuff and shit that i absolutely didn't like. So i felt in someway that i can't do this. This is not. And on top of that, it was his band and i .. Nope, fuck it!.And then i strarted a pretty long experimental phase of not really finding my way home..

…..

…

N: Asking about Onkel Konkel..

T : No, it was only three gigs

N: How did that happen?

T: Thomas the drummer from Repugnant, and at the time also Crash Diet and Subvision. Thomas was one of my best buddies and we played in several bands together. I remember it something like this -Thomas, you right me if i'm wrong. Because i might be. But i recall it something like this. Bengtsson, all ours Bengtsson from Cafe 44, came up to him like -"Du you want to play in Onkel Konkel". And he told me this story. And i , what the hell .. I also want in. So, well, Thomas told them i said that -"So you can come to the next rehearsal" And they probably just done one before. And then Bengtsson had put together a band for Håkan. Who then would act in these three gigs that were booked

N: And that was the only gigs..?

T: Yes, the only gig before that was in Hultsfred -93

N: Was there a gig before "Sondtrack of our lives".. bc one of the gigs were on " Nalen"

T: Yes, its very possible Soundtrack played the day before or after..

N: I've heard somewere you're in to horror movies. Old horror movies.?

T: Yes, Yeah

N:,Have you been inspired by film music aswell?

T: Very much, absolutely. And, well i don't know how to elaborate that, umm, To me, besides me liking, i'm interested in cinematic in general. But i got stuck early, for different reasons, for different horror movies. Once again I'll have to explain it by me having a pretty liberal upbringing. A very liberal home where there weren't any actual rules, more like guide lines. But you know it was the eighties,, And it worked with just a note from my mom to show at the video store. And then i could rent anything i wanted.

…..

…. ….

T: I'm VERY afraid of the dark. Regretfully i am, and i was so early on.

….

… ..

T: But if one should try looking at it with a " the glass is half full"l perspective. It's probably all about having a vivid imagination. And the critical thought in it all would be one watching to much and that it started it all, but I'm not sure .. There were a heck of a lot of delusions long before horror movies was a thing. Like, read "All the creatures of the woods" That people have made up totally uninfluenced by horror movies. So i believe one have a relatively elastic mind. And just aswell as one can come up with a funny joke or something, one also have the possibility to go down the dark corridor, make it something creepy.

Even if realistically i understand it probably isn't something out there, in the woods…

….to be continued

#ghost #the band ghost #tobias forge #rock #interview #impera album

[flowercrown-bard]

thank you for the tag, @lokibus💕

Name: Riya (i also went by Valentine for a while with some friends and i really like that name but no one calls me that anymore)

Sign: taurus

Time: 20:46

Last movie: uhh good question. I started watching Pride and Prejudice (2005) yesterday and got distracted after 5 min by remembering that apparently jeans were worn in that time period already and then i had to google some stuff. The last movie i remember watching in full was Barbie at the cinema where i can't just gez distracted and turn the movie off lmao

Last show: season 2 of atla but in a language i don't speak bc that was the only version i found on YouTube (I own the dvds but i dont have a way to use them with my laptop)

When I created this blog: idk. I think the year before Covid? Or maybe shortly before it? What even is time

Other blogs: i got two. One i only used for a secret santa thingy so i won't reveal it in case i need a secret santa blog again. And then there is @brotfrevel. I created that blog when i was very deep into my ed and not comfortable with talking about it where people i know irl might see. I had this little project where each day that i resisted my i healthy habits, i added one element to an embroidery project (I'm happy to announce that I got much much better and the result of this silly little project is now a constanz reminder of that on my wall)

Do I get asks/may you ask me something: i love getting asks! (I've just been really inactive lately so if i didn't answer, I'm sorry. I've literally not been on tumblr for more thwn like five minutes in the last month or so)

Average hours of sleep: something between 5-7 hours i think. I tend to wake up at 1:30 am and then I'm unable to fall back asleep for a while and then i wake up again at around 3:40. So no idea how much sleep i actually get

Instruments: singing, guitar and violin. And technically i have my grandpa's old mandolin and know enough chords to play a couple of songs but the stings haven't been replaced in over 40 years and it's horribly out of tune so i don't play

What I’m wearing: yellow turtleneck sweater (an old one from my sister), an ugly but super comfy jacket (i think it's an old one from my other sister), jeans, pink socks with bees and I'm also gonna count the comfy blanket I'm wrapped into

Dream job: i meany I'd love to publish a book one day and have at least one person buy it but that's pretty unrealistic. So I'll go with being a kindergarten teacher

Tagging (no pressure): @combatbootsfemme @parttime-creative @dhwty-writes @mondglocke @lycanbucky @rebard-main

#Thank you for the tag! #I love tag games #Enough to crawl from my hole in inactivity lmao #Tag game

[bettsfic]

2022 in writing

whoops, i wrote this at the end of december, put it in my drafts, and forgot about it. this is my seventh year writing a recap and i just read through all of them again. part of me thinks, "it's been 7 years and i haven't accomplished a fraction of what other writers have in that same time." but then the other part of me remembers 1) other writers are on their own path and working at their own speed, and 2) it's unfathomable to me how utterly mentally fucked i used to be. and i mean, i'm still mentally fucked but at least i'm working on getting better. the point is, i had a different starting line than others.

anyway, it's a new year and that means it's time to think to myself for the 7th year running, "dear god when am i going to publish a book." every year i think, this is going to be my year! every year it isn't.

overcame the worst writers' block i've ever had

"overcame" is making it sound more dramatic than it was. i went on a medication that fucked with my brain and then went back off it. but i worry that when i think back on 2022, i'm not going to remember all this cool stuff i did, i'm going to remember how utterly miserable i was for six months. how terrifying it was to feel like someone else was living in my body. i wrote a little bit about it in october's newsletter.

some of this post i've copied over from my newsletter.

but also i have to acknowledge that when i came back to writing, it felt like my brain had been totally rewired and i feel capable, creatively, of about 10x more than i used to be capable of. i'm still trying to articulate what changed and why.

published some things

“shut up and kill me” -- featured in issue 41 of Barren Magazine. the editor who chose it said it was his favorite of the 700+ submissions they received. very happy this weird story has found its home. please heed the warnings!

“coping skills” -- featured in issue 1 of Flossy Lit Mag, a magazine my friends started and which has some great work in it already.

("not if, when" was published january of this year, so it'll go in next year's update)

published other people's things

in 2022, ofic magazine published 33 prose pieces and 3 art pieces! over half of what we accepted came from not yet published authors and you have no idea how happy that makes me.

won a grant

i’m very very excited to say i won the Barbara Deming Memorial Fund grant to help offset the travel expenses of the residency i attended! i’ve been applying to this for years and it’s amazing to have been awarded it. the judges had a lot of lovely things to say about my work and it was a big confidence boost.

did a residency

i spent a month in beautiful Wyoming at the Jentel Arts residency. i met some wonderful artists, got a lot of work done, and had an amazing time. definitely the highlight of my year.

made the top 10 of a big contest

i submitted "Not If, When" to a screenwriting website hosting a prose contest, and out of what seemed to be a lot of submissions, i was a top 10 finalist, and now my story is being pitched to production studios to see if they want to buy the film/tv rights. i've also had a few phone calls with hollywood people wanting to talk to me about my work (i'm still confused about that) and i think they've gone well. no idea what the endgame is here though.

ran other workshop

i intended to run two fanauthor workshops but i only managed one, because of the whole "just gritting my teeth trying to stay alive" thing. but the one i ran i think went really well!

coaching/editing is my job now

i didn't think too much of that until i met with my thesis advisor to get caught up and she was like, wow that's the dream. and she invited me to be a panelist for the annual publishing symposium at my alma mater.

i'm not getting rich or anything, but i've picked up enough commercial copywriting work to make ends meet.

applied/submitted to a few places

totals:

11 residencies (8 rejections, 2 rejections with encouraging feedback, 1 acceptance)

4 publications (1 encouraging rejection, 3 acceptances)

1 award (1 acceptance)

2 screenwriting-ish contests (1 rejection, 1 finalist placement)

this has been far and away my most successful submission year. 6 major wins!

wrote 421k words

what's extra wild about this word count is that ~400k of it was across 6 months. from january 1 to june 16, i wrote only 22k words. and then from june 17 to december 31, i wrote the rest. and for the finished works, this doesn't include their respective trash docs (where i put everything i cut from a story). if i add in those, it's an additional ~90k.

year over year word count comparison:

2022: 421k

2021: 183k

2020: 375k

2019: 430k

2018: 450k

2017: 150k

2016: 343k

2015: 250k

2014: 311k

nine year total: 2,913,000

& other stuff

i really advocated for my mental health this year and i'm super proud of that. i mean dealing with my brain was basically a full-time job and i've come to accept i'll be spending my entire life micromanaging my own head, but for now things are okay

unfortunately i got a diagnosis that wasn't what i expected, that seems mostly correct, and which i'm having trouble accepting

i moved into an apartment with my best friend and it's going really well so far

the only travel i did was to missouri to visit family, and to wyoming for my residency

2022 goal recap (from 2021)

sell a book any book dear god -- got close, but nope

finish a draft of a new novel -- big nope

get an apartment -- yep! and it's great

publish 3 issues of OFIC -- yes and i'm very proud of them

publish 12 newsletters -- no, published 5 newsletters

register OFIC Press as a nonprofit -- not yet, working on it (this is far more difficult than i thought it would be)

run a successful Fanauthor Workshop -- yep! 2 sessions out of my goal of 4

write a proposal for a fanfiction craft book -- no, but i talked to my agent about it and now we're working on it together

write a script (pilot or feature) and submit to contests -- yes but it was Bad and i've gotta, you know, make it not bad

2023 goals

these are going to be remarkably similar to last year's, considering it's all just stuff that's been set in motion.

SELL A BOOK

finish a new novel (it's february and i've already kind of done this, but still putting it on here)

publish 4 issues of ofic mag

publish at least 6 newsletters

build the 2024 ofic press catalogue

apply for nonprofit status

run 4 workshop sessions

submit nonfiction proposal

build a script portfolio (feature, pilot, spec)

find a healthy balance between writing and living

annual thank you!

despite how badly i derailed for the first half of the year, i'm really grateful to fandom, readers, and all the friends i've made here for your support and encouragement, without which i wouldn't have been able to do any of this.

prior year recaps: 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021

#writing update #2022

[edenfalling]

Fifteen Questions for Fifteen Friends

Tagged by @thatgirlnevershutsup

are you named after anyone? Nope! My parents specifically went out of their way to avoid giving either child a family name (though in Nick's case that was only managed via creative spelling). They did wind up making some classical mythology references, but I think that was accidental rather than a deliberate theme. I am also not named after a celebrity despite what A LOT OF PEOPLE assumed when I was a child. (*)

when was the last time you cried? I dunno. I don't tend to cry dramatically, but a handful of tears at an emotional moment isn't surprising.

do you have kids? Nope.

what sports do you play/have played? I played soccer in high school (badly). I also took years of swimming and gymnastics lessons, though I never competed in either activity. I was bad at gymnastics, but I probably could have done pretty well on a swim team. (I talked my swim coaches into letting me be an assistant teacher for pre-schoolers instead of swimming competitively, which I think was much better for my mental health.)

do you use sarcasm? When it feels appropriate.

what is the first thing you notice about people? ...Probably their height, if we meet in person? Or vocal pitch/timbre. Typing style if we meet online.

what's your eye colour? Brown :)

scary movies or happy endings? This is a false dichotomy and I refuse to engage with it.

any talents? I used to be a good singer and a good enough oboist that I took private lessons for a couple years, but I am woefully out of practice. I think I write pretty well too, but I haven't been doing that much for a few years either.

where were you born? New Jersey. You wanna make something of it?

what are your hobbies? Reading, writing, miscellaneous art stuff (lately cross-stitch and paint-by-numbers projects). I keep a bunch of houseplants, and occasionally dabble in outdoor container gardening. Currently I'm into the NY Times crossword and their Spelling Bee game, as well as virtual mahjong solitaire, but which particular puzzles/games I am into varies with time.

do you have any pets? Tragically, no, but someday I will have a dog! ...Or perhaps a cat, if I can get some allergy shots and buy one from a less allergenic breed. Or maybe some fish, or a snake, or... look, I enjoy animals. I just don't currently have enough free time to adequately meet the physical and emotional needs of a dog, and other pets would require more prep work.

Houseplants require much less investment.

how tall are you? 5'3"

favourite subject in school? Y'know, I actually liked all of my classes? At least when the teachers weren't complete wastes of space, and even in those cases I generally still enjoyed the subject. I like learning things. The world is absolutely fascinating -- who doesn't want to know more about it?

I think if you'd asked me around age 16-22, I would have said chemistry, but it's harder to keep up with chemistry when you're not actively in the field so my most enduring interest is probably history. (If you'd asked me at age 6-15 I am pretty certain I would have said math. I still do love math, but again, harder to keep up with when you're not actively in the field.)

dream job? I'm pretty happy with my current job(s), but if they paid twice as much I sure wouldn't say no!

I tag: @wordsforrain, @longroadstonowhere, @ickaimp,@violsva, @asukaskerian, @curlicuecal, @branch-and-root, and anyone else who wants to participate. (*)This will be less confusing if you remember that Elizabeth is my middle name, not my legal first name.

#memes and stuff #liz talks about personal stuff

[wyrmguardsecrets]

(sorry for the length) I haven't been seriously RPing since 2018, and I had taken a full on break from RP all together for this past year and just played the game without it. I have been here for over 10 years in our RP community, ever since Emerald Dream was the place to be. And yeah, I've been through hell and back in terms of drama especially when I was a teenager (I'm not excusing myself btw, I was a piece of shit on a few occasions and I recognize that, I got caught up in drama and wasn't able to maturely handle it).

I decided to jump back into RP this past autumn because I missed it, so I switched from WrA to MG just to test the waters and I've just got to say: I've had a wonderful time. People have been so friendly and welcoming to me and have shown genuine interest in my character and writing. We're building little friendships and plotlines and I am so happy. I don't know if it's the fact that I'm older and have had the time to regulate my emotions and stuff and be more mature in my own writing and interactions, but I just care so much less about OOC drama. I care so much less about being The Best or the most interesting character. And I'm having fucking fun, the most fun I've ever had RPing on this game in more than TEN years of this hobby.

The key is not caring disproportionately. The key is being mature enough to understand the OOC dynamic of this hobby and what you should rightfully expect from other players and knowing what they rightfully expect from you. The key is being able to separate yourself from OOC drama and view this hobby as what it is. It sounds obvious and easy, but it is not, emotions get in the way, people take things personally, it gets away from them. But for example; I used to read this blog like the morning paper and go feral over OOC secrets years ago, and now I skim it and can't even be bothered to give a shit about 90% of them. I peek at it since I've come back out of curiosity but I just find I cannot give a shit about the RP secrets, and it makes the community look way more toxic than it is - I'm not denying that there is very real pestilence among us but you understand.

I've been RPing for about 3 months now again and I've only had a great time and met so many people, been to so many community events (MASSIVE shout out to the people who organize these!! You rock!!) You have a hand in what you'll put up with and how you react to it, and when you figure that out everything changes.

Stay having fun, stay being creative <3 We're all just a bunch of losers playing pretend in a video game. And to my new friends: thank you, even though you won't know this is about you. I'll thank you in person myself anyway. I love reading your writing, I love diving into your stories. I love being able to share creativity with such awesome people all across the world.

If you're frustrated and drained and not enjoying this, remember why you loved it and maybe take a step back. Under the bowling for soup song there is real good here and really great people. (since people read into things with negative intent i would like to state clearly that holding predators and abusers accountable is not at all what I'm talking about)

-

[hopefulsapphic]

miscellaneous tag game

tagged by @searchingfortheuniverse! tysm i love these things <3

A band you don’t like that many others do: uhh i'm really not a hater and i genuinely do not have that strong of opinions about music and bands, so i really can't think of any right now

A childhood memory that you remember vividly: god i have so many vivid childhood memories it's hard to pick just one. my most vivid memories are probably the ones i have of playing with my twin when we were pretty little. they all tend to blend together, but i can still picture so clearly the castles we built out of soft blocks and the little lego people and toy cars we moved around them like dolls and the stories and scenarios we made up and acted out and the dragon costume in his closet he always tried to scare me with

Least favorite animal and why: insects probably, but only the really annoying little flying ones that buzz so relentlessly and never take the hint when you shoo them off. also whatever wretched little bug bit me in my sleep the other night

Hot fandom take: idk if this means like for a specific fandom or just fandom in general, but either way i don't really think i have any? then again i didn't think that that "steve harrington wasn't a bad person/boyfriend he was literally just 17" post i made a little while ago was a hot take either but apparently it was a little more reactive than i expected

Do you wear any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece: i'm literally always wearing jewelry; i've got two hands full of rings that i basically never take off like ever, and it's rare to see me without earrings in and necklaces on. my favorite piece at the moment is probably my little silver bat necklace i got at an antique mall about a year ago

A movie others liked but you didn’t: guys i'm really not a hater. also i tend not to watch movies i just don't have the attention span tbh

Three things you love about yourself: my creativity, my perseverance, my sense of self-expression

A place you hope to visit in the future and why: everywhere, there's so much of the world i haven't seen. more realistically though, i hope to visit my twin in washington sometime this year, probably in the summer

An actor that gets on your nerves and why: again i'm. really not a hater. i tend to be utterly indifferent to like 95% of all celebrities, i just can't care about them enough for them to even be able get on my nerves

Things you’re excited for in the nearby future? there are a few alternative music club nights (emo, goth, metal) coming up over this next month and i'm very excited to dress up and go to those with friends!

Least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in: okay now i'm a hater. it's harringrove 😬

What’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in? all fandoms are toxic if you venture far enough or have the misfortune of landing in the wrong corners of the internet, but i think my worst experiences have been in areas of the percy jackson fandom (in the mid 2010s especially; ik it's probably kicking up again now with a new wave of toxic fans but i am living in blissful ignorance of that discourse) and, in more recent years, the stranger things fandom (i've had to narrow my involvement down to basically only one specific ship fandom within it and even then only seek it out on tumblr; tiktok is rancid)

List three things you find beautiful about life: human connection, the art of words and stories, the joy of flowers in the spring after a particularly desolate winter

Any dreams for the future? just the typical stuff really: graduate university (i have one semester left that's insane), move out (for realsies, not just for school), and find myself a solid job and make myself a solid home and be able to be self-sufficient and successful and happy in this world. ideally i also dream of actually finishing and publishing a novel one day

How are you really feeling today? i have not had even three consecutive hours of sleep a night for the past week and it's making me feel just a little bit insane, and i'm a bit anxious about school and about meeting up with a newish friend tomorrow, but overall i actually feel pretty good. i finally feel like i've got real proper friends here in this city and i've been seeing them a lot lately, so that's been buoying an overarching sense of positivity despite my sleep deprivation and anxiety

tagging @turquoiseorchid and @rainbowteri if you feel like it! and if anyone else wants to do this too, consider yourselves tagged also; live your dreams, overshare on the internet 🫶🏻

#i love tag games <3 #oversharing to random questions my beloved #i feel like they're a dying breed lately when they used to be so prevalent so this totally made my day #tag game

[shepardsherd]

I'm Gonna Love Me Again

So, I'm writing short story format to try and get ready for creative writing competitions, and I managed to write this. its about an autistic girl named Rose

I’m Gonna Love Me Again Rose

Staring down at the pages of my own handwriting, I realise that it is hard to read. I can’t remember what I wrote myself. These old diaries are from my dark days; from days I want to forget. My school days. It is hard to put you back in those shoes when you hardly fit in there in the first place - you want to expand beyond the lines of what’s good to make yourself comfortable and embrace your differences, no matter how much people may push and pull to keep you in line, to mould you into what they want you to be.

I remember those days of trying to fit in, of trying to be what they wanted me to be, but I still was never good enough… I was still me.

Staring at these papers, feeling the ink and the scrawls of what I used to say, what I used to be…is not me anymore. Its not someone who loves themselves - its someone who has turned to darkness to cope, to crave something, to feel despair and not look back as they plunge into madness and continue to drown in sorrows. Its someone who wishes that things were different back then, that someone, anyone would love me for who I am, or was, at the time.

I did some things I regret, I was a kid. I was a neurodivergent kid in a world that shames differences. I would run and cry and push away those who made fun of me, who blamed me for being the way I was, that I was faking my conditions for attention. But they never picked on other kids like me because they were seen as “authentic”, not faking.

I had dreams. Like any other kid. I wanted to write, to sing, to soar and be better than what these people were making me out to be. But they would crush my dreams, telling me that I would never be loved and would never be successful.

Time went on, I lived in my own fantasy worlds to cope - wrote mountains upon mountains of words whilst failing every exam I ever took because I don’t do well with exams, so I’d always fail. I was the failure back then. As time went on, I stopped attending school to save my life from school bullies. The Rose that wilted, they used to call me. The fragile flower. I dedicated my time to writing, constantly improving, constantly making worlds. I loved every second of it.

But when the pandemic hit, the words just dried up, as I wrote to cope and wrote to keep my sanity, watching shows and looking for inspiration in books I could read on my Kindle or from my shelf. There was this whole spiral of “What if I’m not good enough?”. Again, this. Again the thoughts, the spiralling depression… A cycle I had to break free from.

Looking at all these…memories…I realise that that is what they are - memories. Old things that I can remember but aren’t necessarily important to today, I should make myself happy, take care of myself. Know that I am loved by my family and pets and look for friends where I can find them.

I know that I can achieve what I want, if I work hard and put my mind to it. I could climb mountains, soar free like an eagle, if only I spread my wings and fly. My mother and my family support me, so that’s all I need. I need to build myself up, go where I wanna go. Be who I want to be. Do what I want to do. Nothing is stopping me.

To live, to laugh, to love. That is the point of life. Finding your way in life is just a part of the adventure and my adventure isn’t over yet; for it has only just begun. There are things you have to learn about yourself in order to love yourself and every Rose has its thorn.

I shut the notepads, resisting the urge to tear them all apart. These words that I can barely read are not important to me anymore - they’ve taught me one thing: To love myself, to embrace what I am, to do what I love and keep my head held high. I stuff the notepads back under my bed where I found them, knowing one day I should chuck them all away, but today is not that day.

I look to my desk where all my writing equipment is waiting for me - my laptop, my pads of paper, my pens. My notebooks. All of this is at my disposal - my dreams are within reach. I can write and share my stories and bring love to them, to everyone as long as I strive to be the best I can be - to have people who want to share in this world with me. I have always had this power inside of me, some days its stronger than others and some days I’m driven insane by simply trying to find the words to say.

I wouldn’t give this up for the world. I love my life, I love my family, my pets, my writing abilities, my books, reading… there’s so much that goes into a passion that you’re never really alone in walking down this path you’ve chosen for yourself. Just don’t give up, give yourself a chance and keep working on it, whilst taking time for yourself to love what you do - to do what you want to do and pace yourself.

And you know what? I’m gonna love me again.

That’s the most important thing. To love me again, is to love who I am, no matter what others make me out to be. There is only one of me and I’m perfect the way I am; perfectly me. Perfectly sane. Perfectly insane on the other hand. Creatively balanced. Creatively me. Free. Forever me. A Rose by any other name.

#short story practise

[trans-rites]

Tagged by @larky-lark

coke or pepsi? Honestly neither, but I guess I'll take pepsi.

disney or dreamworks? If I must, Disney. A higher percentage of Dreamworks animation gives me the heebie-jeebies.

coffee or tea? Tea. An excessive amount. Every day.

books or movies? Books. Films are for watching with friends.

windows or mac? Windows. Mac is an illusion of the demiurge.

dc or marvel? DC. Marvel has Spiderman (and Gwen, and Gwenpool,) but DC has everything else.

x-box or playstation? Neither.

dragon age or mass effect? Dragon Age. It's not even close.

night owl or early riser? A secret third thing.

cards or chess? (Trading) cards.

chocolate or vanilla? ...like, ice cream? Vanilla.

vans or converse? Is it bad that I don't know the difference?

Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar? Lavellan. Shamelessly.

fluff or angst? The ideal story has both. Like that deadly pink candyfloss they put in walls.

beach or forest? Forest. Sand is hell. Dirt is truth.

dogs or cats? Cats. I respect a little guy who has their needs.

clear skies or rain? Clear skies, baby. I appreciate the whimsy of rain, but I want wind, and I don't want it to soak me.

cooking or eating out? Cooking. Eating out is always uncomfy.

spicy food or mild food? Mild. I have a weak, weak, palette.

halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas? Halloween and Samhain! They aren't the same, but I love them both. The happiest time of year.

would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot? Cold. If I want to be warm, I can put stuff on. If I want to be cold, there's only so much I can take off.

if you could have a superpower, what would it be? Shapeshifting. That's always been my go-to answer to this question, and I can't imagine it changing.

animation or live action? Animation! It's such an underappreciated medium and it deserves more big-budget respect.

paragon or renegade? I like being nice.

baths or showers? Showers, but I'm pretty sure I'd love a bath in a big enough tub.

team cap or team ironman? If we're talking MCU, then Cap. The Sokovia accords are a deranged invasion of freedoms.

fantasy or sci-fi? In my soul, it's fantasy.

do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they? - Tiffany's 'All witches are selfish...' speech from Pratchett's The Wee Free Men - 'There is another shore, you know, upon the other side', from Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - 'Someone will remember us, I say, even in another time,' Sappho - 'This is the new touch,' We Know the Devil

youtube or netflix? Youtube. Anything else is for pirating.

[REDACTED] [expunged]

when do you feel accomplished? Too much of my self-worth is based on feedback for my creative projects, but, uh, then.

star wars or star trek? Trek. Easy.

paperback books or hardcover books? Either, or digital.

to live in a world without literature or without music? I wouldn't, not if I couldn't somehow bring one back.

who was the last person to make you laugh? @larky-lark <3

city or countryside? Anywhere with good internet.

favorite chips? Not a crisps sort-of gal.

pants or dresses? Dresses, baby. Skirt really do go spinny.

libraries or museums? Libraries. God, libraries.

character driven stories or plot driven stories? Character driven!

bookmarks or folding pages? What in the goddamn is a folding page?

Dream job? I do not dream of labour.

What gives you comfort? Gentle companions.

what are some of your favorite song lyrics? Play with matches if you think you need to play with matches Seek out the hidden places where the fire burns hot and bright Find where the heat's unbearable and stay there if you have to Don't hurt anybody on your way up to the light And stay alive Just stay alive

favorite ice cream flavor ever? Vanilla. No, I'm not ashamed.

first fandom? Err... Doctor Who?

Your desert island band? The Mountain Goats. Easy.

tagging @melleonis @kishona

[izzy-b-hands]

daisy, plumeria, and lavender!

Ella!! Thank u 🫂❤️!

Daisy— what is your idea of the perfect date?

I want to say something fancy, because I do have Dream Date Ideas that are v fancy (a night to the theatre, or going on a slightly longer drive to visit something interesting, a nice dinner somewhere normally neither person could afford but you can if you split the bill, etc) but all of those rely on me being in the right frame of mind and prepared to deal with any new or weird sensory stuff. And unfortunately, my brain isn't doing so hot in regulating that at the current time.

So for now, I would definitely lean towards something like a regular movie date, or even better for me personally:

Rent a hotel room, split the cost (so neither of you have to know where the other person lives if you aren't at a stage to be trusting them with that info yet), and have a movie night and/or gaming night there. You can order room service, be comfortable and assured that if the person winds up being an ass, you can call downstairs and get the fuck out of there. Plus, if it gets to the point of fucking, you're already on the bed and can multitask with whatever you're watching.

It's admittedly a weirdly lazy one (or so I've been told lmao), but I don't like the idea of putting high expectations on this stuff if you don't have/want to. It should be enough to want to hang out together at all, see how you feel abt each other, and go from there to different/fancier/etc date stuff.

Plumeria— are you currently working on any creative projects? if so, what kinds?

I'm working on my Izzy Hands Bingo Card prompts (six done! But more to go if I want to get a blackout on the card!) and also plan to do some of the prompts for the Our Flag Au-gust post that's been going around.

Aside from those I should really be trying to make a video poem for Button Poetry's video contest (opens in a few days!), but I've such low confidence in my writing at the moment that I'm not sure i can be vulnerable enough to write a decent poem lmao.

Lavender— what is currently on your mind (aside from this ask game)?

I'm stoned off my ass, so a stupid number of things, which is only slightly more than when I'm sober, but-

I want to be more productive, but I keep burning out whenever I even vaguely try to put the metaphorical pedal to the metal and I don't know how to fix myself. There are dishes I need to do. I need to remember how to be vulnerable and a little more stupid and vapid so I can get out of my own head and be brave enough to post more writing, original and fic. I need another tattoo. I need to ace my job interview tomorrow so I can make more money faster and be able to afford said tattoo. I need my grandfather to be okay after his knee replacement sx this fall (he probably will be but he's got high blood pressure and our family has an unfortunate pattern of dying during routine medical procedures, and he already nearly did that once with his appendix while he was in the Air Force, but who's to say that doesn't mean this time it would be The Time?) I should be better. I want to learn to be okay with being worse.

And I have a slice of cake Housemate bought for me tonight, sitting beside me. If I can manage even three more calls on my next shift (930-1215) then I'll let myself eat it as a reward, even though I need a lot more than three calls. But I'm trying not to think about that last bit too much.

#text post #ask box things #god i have to start calling again in tenish minutes and i just wanna #idk. brain having feelings #i want to eat cake and chill and maybe play video game but Need Money #I never wrote the edizzy Rope AU idea i had and i should and that is not what i need to be thinking abt during this shift aksndkfng #long post

[perverse-idyll]

Congrats! and：

🤗

billsfangearring asked:

Congratulations!!! I’d love to hear your answer to 🤗

Ask post with emoji list

(Sorry, I'm inept at Tumblr protocols, so I'm c & p-ing two of the same asks together.)

This is a tricky one - 🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

My real workday starts in about half an hour, so I may have to chip away at this for a while. The reason it's tricky is that fandom has changed so much since I clicked a link and found myself flailing around in LiveJournal wonderland. I embraced my OTP in that same flailing instant (Snarry, of course), and it brought me a community already at full steam. Snarry was considered a weird, batshit, indefensible pairing even then, but in its own LJ corner it was extremely beloved, and other HP shippers mostly left us alone. I'm tempted to rhapsodize about the people I encountered, but the point is, they were creative, ribald, mostly 30+ in age, delighted by Snape's moral turpitude and angst and arseholery as much as by his courage and intelligence and mystery (remember, this was pre-Lily and all the disappointment that came with it).

In short, I was welcomed and supported as I grew from a commenter and frothing enthusiast into a fic writer. (I know Discord fills some of that need currently, but chat style doesn't work for me.) And it was a free-for-all. The conversations were lengthy and earnest but also irreverent, and because they were threaded and static - no scrolling back to find a starting point or a branching tangent - they occurred over days among all kinds of fans who linked each other's opinions. If you didn't want outsiders reading your stuff, you could friends-lock it, sure. But otherwise, a fair percentage of Snape and Snarry fans felt free to drop in, share their interpretations, start a convo about your fic, and ask for help. There were also reccing communities and newsletters, and these fandom seems

Those things were as crucial to me as the actual writing. I'd been writing original fic on my own for years, but Snarry fandom's community participation was the fuel I needed to motivate me into turning my fannish infatuation into stories.

So... find a mutually supportive community. Share what you have to say. Re-kindle your excitement in any way you can. It can make fandom so much more fun and help you finish what you start.

As for writing: I'm absolutely, utterly character-driven, so that shapes how and what I write. You may prefer plot or world-building. Or favorite tropes. Or porn. But for me, character is why I write, and it all flows from there. Whatever gets you daydreaming, making up scenes in your head, whatever gives you a rush of emotion when you read other fics or revisit the canon, whatever holes in the worldbuilding are bugging you enough to write fix-its, let that inspire you.

And then - find the words. I'm a stickler for grammar and spelling, so I'm going to say, learn the rules. For one thing, it will help you say what you want to say. It will seduce readers to your point of view. And then? Just start. Think about a useful or exciting entry point, but if that makes you freeze up, just write the most urgent or colorful or heartbreaking or reverse-engineered idea you've had recently, something that has power over you. Even if all you have to say at first is You're my fave and you deserve nice things, find a way to show that. Show your fave getting everything they ever wanted. (And then have them lose it all because you also love angst, and the potential for writing comfort (or not) is just around the corner.) You want to tell the story that canon didn't.

Don't worry about writing a perfect fic. This is fanfiction. You can do anything. It doesn't have to be brilliant. It doesn't have to be canon-compliant. It can be the craziest shit you ever dreamed up. It can be embarrassing. Who cares? Welcome to the internet. It can fall short of what you see in your head. (Get used to that. Writers beat themselves up a lot, but it's just how human brains work.) And it means you've got another chance to write an entirely different story and cram all the things you love and didn't quite manage to capture into a whole new piece of writing. It can surprise you (who wrote that? fuck, I didn't know that about myself.) It can even be unfinished. Fanfiction doesn't have to adhere to traditional storytelling. You want an audience, well, sure, but you also want to express the thing that makes this world, these characters, mean so much to you.

You'll be disappointed sometimes, you'll get criticism sometimes, you might have to learn how to avoid professional haters. But you also, above all, get to love your work. Don't ever let anyone tell you that it's not good enough. It might need improvement - whose work doesn't? (Okay, I can think of a few, but they're exceptions.) But that story is still something to be proud of. You are allowed to love your own writing. To be happy about it. To make yourself fall even more in love with your favorite character because now you've written them. Now they belong a little bit to you.

And loving your own stories will help you keep writing. And as you keep writing, you'll eventually figure out what it is you really want to say. You'll get closer and closer to the heart of things, and better at making other people love it, too.

Okay, this is a great big bunch of blather written under pressure at work, so it's more cheerleading than nuts and bolts. I don't talk much about my own process here because I wouldn't recommend the way I write to an aspiring author, and it would only be interesting to a tiny handful of readers. But I hope at least some of this addresses the question!

#emoji ask game #about writing