#but then sara gets a hold of one of the stories and tells him to self publish which he does (hesitantly)

[thatbitchery]

Unlearn the dumb idea that inflicted pain justifies your reaction to it. It doesn't. Ladies elite women make it because we have a level of stoicism that borders on sociopathic apathy, exhibit A: we don't react to triggers we mimosa, sleep, see if it's worth it then logically make decisions. The idea that when someone does you dirty you have the right to react based on emotions so you're angry mad throwing names & hands sending texts talking sheet & other loser girl things is dumb dumb. You're not justified to react. 'They did me wrong' . So? Sit down, watch Netflix, wait for the emotions to pass then use the head God so generously gave you + that pretty face bonus.

When you react to people doing you wrong you give them the permission to bypass their actions & focus on your reaction so if your bf cheats on you & you start screaming sending 1b texts making titktoks he can bypass his cheating & focus on you're immature you're abusive why did you hit me you're mentally unstable you throw things around bla bla & will never face what he did. When we say be non reactive we aren't asking you to be a stone we are asking you to be smart. Do you want to get manipulated? Abused? Sit down get a manicure & go for brunch. Run to your room scream cry anhiliate your pillow but when they're watching its Elsa Lite, froooozen ice queen don't let them in don't let them see, ever.

One tactic m3n use in divorce court is to get the lady so triggered she loses her cool then it's look at her could you live with that? I'm taking my child this is an abusive woman & men don't leave relationships they just trigger you into irrational behavior and use that as an excuse & crying is worse what did we say about public vulnerability? Go cry to your bestie and God in your house out here tears are a sign to bully you. When you're not reactive you throw THEM out of balance and you hold the cards, once you go 'right to my opinion I'm the victim' we'll find you a grave bc that's called social suicideeee.

Two friends. Real life story here, ladies. Ah high-school back in the good old days.

We call them Allie and Sara. High school circles were tight so you're friends with someone you're also friends with their bfs, right? Alice & Sara both got cheated on (by m3n looking like area 9 failed experiment Shrek cosplayers but that's not thepoint). The bfs know that they were discovered. Allie, Allie is that girl. Drama girl. Find him in cafeteria & make a scene girl. How could you cheat on me you suck your pp is short anyway bla bla watch me devalue myself. Allie feels good in the moment, her bf leaves and tell his friends of course i cheated that girl is crazy. Would you date someone like her? So immature. Women are so ovarical I can't handle it. Evening the story is- she was abusive. She hit him & threw words in public imagine in private? He's been protecting her in silence, you know women can be abusive too.

Sara, Sara my love. Sara sits next to her Shrek Lite boy and says hey so that girl you kissed, Jane was it? She's pretty. You have taste. End of story. After lunch her Human experiment failure boy says let's talk she says sure abd listens with 'mhm' and nods. She meant nothing babe she seduced me I'm an adolescent what can I do bla bla. She nods says okay and goes to class. Days goes as usual. Evening we get dinner , Weekend we do research for our papers & talk college. Is she talking to him? Yes. Painfully polite, painfully. No emojis no nothing just shallow dry polite texts. Let's talk about this babe- is left on blue ticks. Monday morning her factory reject lookalike is losing his mind, she's being painfully polite, in a shallow way, so he resorts to triggering. It's because you're like this you are like a man and I'm straight I need a woman bla bla. She says OK then turns to the next person & did you hear about the trip to the beach? Of course I'm going. Boy realizes that's not working & resorts to Allie behavior- throw a tantrum in public make yourself the victim why won't you give me the pleasure of being the one to push you to your edge? Sara says babe pull yourself together you're embarrassing your family. Do you need your anxiety meds? My therapist is good she can treat hysteria are you okay? No this isn't like you, this is hysteria babe do you need psychological help? No this isn't normal , hey do you guys think it's normal to do this? I'm calling your mom babe we are getting you a mental check hold up-

Heres a little secret. In private? In our dorms? Sara was BAWLING her eyes out. Chocolates & Styrofoam cups. We are talking 3am on the bathroom floor. In public?

Guess who won.

Unlearn the idea that you're entitled to reacting to others actions to you, you're not. Learn to hold your tongue and tears and smile and Elsa don't let then in don't let them see then call mom and spend the rest of the week in her arms crying. The amount of women I've seen triggered out of their jobs, marriages, houses, parenting &c when they were 10000% the victim from lack of emotional intelligence is unforgivable.

Dont, be dumb. Don't let yourself think you have the freedom of expression, you don't. Not in the way you want to. Go write a poem but remember everything you say can and will, in fact, be used against you.

Non reaction is the highest level of power in existence. Mind over body. Logic over emotion.

[withleeknow]

hiya! I noticed you have your requests open and if you don't mind, could I please suggest: "for once... I was right" with "don't you dare walk away from me" for Lee Know - maybe angsty but I don't mind you just going with the flow.

thank you!

blue hour.

pairing: minho x reader genre/warnings: exes au, exes to ...? 🫢, angst; minho's pov mostly, open ending kinda, some light cursing, unedited don't look at me word count: 2.2k (i got carried away a little bit) listen to 🎧: breathe again - sara bareilles

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

navigation › masterlist › ko-fi

“this should be the last of your things.”

“thanks,” you say, rummaging through the box that minho hands over to you. everything that you left at his place throughout the entire time you were together; every sweatshirt of yours in his closet, every piece of jewelry on his nightstand, every bottle of nail polish that you kept in his bathroom reserved for nights where you two would pamper each other. they're all here, except for... “did you see my red scarf though? i can’t find it anywhere.”

“no, i checked,” he says. “this is everything.”

“hmm, okay.”

you hold the box between your arms, and minho can’t help but feel something twist painfully in his chest. it’s like you're holding your relationship, or what’s left of it anyway, ready to make your swift exit from his life. two years of love, all dumped into one stupid cardboard box.

you both stand there in silence for what feels like forever, just staring at each other, then at your surroundings, neither of you saying anything. minho knows why he hasn’t bid you a farewell goodnight yet; it’s because he doesn’t want this to end. even though it’s a sad occasion, the finale to your story, he still wants to the seconds to stretch on, for the minutes to last longer. after all, isn’t this the last time he'll ever see you?

why you haven’t left him to his devices and gone upstairs, he isn’t sure.

another moment passes. life goes on but it seems like you two are in your own bubble where nothing moves forward. everything stays rooted to the spot.

“do you want to go for a walk?” you ask after a while. the question surprises minho enough that he lets it show, and it makes you quickly tack on an excuse. “the weather is nice and i... i don’t want to be on my own.”

yes, he does want to go for a walk with you. anything to be with you even if it’s only for a moment longer.

“sure,” he says. “let’s go for a walk.”

“okay. i’ll leave this upstairs and get my jacket.”

he watches as you disappear inside your building, only to reemerge momentarily afterward, a wool jacket draped over your frame. he wishes you’d worn something lighter, just so he could have an excuse to wrap his arm around your shoulders if it gets colder.

you walk side by side around your neighborhood, a distance between your bodies that never used to be there before. it’s strange, of course it is. but minho supposes this is yours and his new reality now.

“how are the cats?” you ask.

“they’re okay. dori had a cold a couple weeks ago, but everything’s fine now,” he tells you. “they... they miss you.”

i miss you too - that's a thought that he doesn’t say out loud, only keeps it to himself because it feels too humiliating to utter those words to you.

“they’re cats. how can you tell?”

“i can always tell.” he shrugs. “they wait by the door when i’m already home. they sleep on your-... they sleep on the other side of the bed.”

if you notice his slip up, you don’t say anything. you purse your lips and nod somberly, stuffing your hands in your pockets. “they’ll forget about me soon enough,” you say.

minho glances at you. he wants to rebuke that statement, to argue with you over something as silly as whether or not his freaking cats will retain their memories of you in the future. but he just bites his tongue and swallows down the lump in his throat, humming to let you know that he’s heard what you said. not a hum of agreement, just one of acknowledgement.

“how’s work?” he asks. god, it’s just so fucking weird to be asking you these things. you know each other inside and out and yet, you’re here making small talk.

torn apart when all you two should be is together.

“it’s alright. still the same, kinda boring. you know there’s not a lot that can happen in that place in one month.”

yes, because it’s been a little over a month since you parted ways, since you moved back into your old apartment and left his home perpetually cold and empty. he can’t blame you for leaving when he was the one who agreed to break up. he can’t blame you for his heartache when he was the one who broke your heart first.

he didn’t mean to, but isn’t that what they all say?

“do you still want to leave?”

“sure,” you reply. “if i can find something better, i’d leave that place in a heartbeat. but for now, it’ll have to do. it used to be a bit more bearable though.”

“i hope you find something that makes you happier.”

“thanks.” you give him a smile but it doesn't reach your eyes. “how about you? how’s life?”

minho almost says the first thing that comes into mind. life is terrible without you. i think about you every single minute of every day but you're not here and it’s my own damn fault.

he could lie and come up with something much more palatable, because he doesn’t reckon his truth is something you’d like to hear right now.

but he doesn’t want to lie to you. in the time that you were together, minho never lied to you, not even once, not even over something stupid and insignificant. beside, he’s got a feeling that you would see through his bullshit anyway.

his answer ends up being a sad shrug, then, “it’s life. i’m hanging in there.”

your footsteps slow until you stop completely. this makes him stop too, turning around to look at you with his head tilted to one side, confused.

“it’s not like you to sound so defeated,” you comment.

“what?” he asks with a sigh. “it’s the truth.”

“it’s not the whole truth.”

“what do you want me to say?”

“i want you to be honest with me,” you tell him, your shoulders slumping just slightly. “i still care about you. i want to know you’re okay.”

minho takes a step closer until he’s right in front of you, the closest that you two have been all night. his body feels the warmth radiating from yours but he has to ball his hands into fists to keep from reaching out and touching you.

“if you really want to know, i haven’t been myself since you left.”

guilt flashes in your eyes. it wasn’t his intention at all.

you bite your bottom lip, inhale a shaky breath, before you speak, “i’m sorry for leaving.”

“don’t apologize. i’m sorry for driving you away.”

then he watches the tears well up as you look at him. he’s been wondering this the whole night, how you seem so cavalier about it all, how you’re able to speak to him so casually as if you’re just old friends with some shared history, and not as though the wound is still fresh. he’s still bleeding and you’re acting like you’ve already healed.

but he sees it now. you’re just as sad as he is, just as miserable. the only difference is you’re better at hiding it, or maybe you’ve just had more time to get used to the way it hurts.

is this how you felt in the weeks, the months, leading up to your departure? every time he neglected you, prioritized something else over you, missed every date and overlooked every text message? every single instance where he was too busy for you?

he never wanted to break your heart, but alas, here you are.

he didn’t want you to go, and yet, when you felt like you couldn’t handle the loneliness anymore, he hadn’t stopped you from walking out the door. he gave up, and he gave up so easily.

nothing along the lines of ‘don’t you dare walk away from me’, no tearful argument, no explosive and definitive end to your relationship. minho just let your love slip away.

how must that have made you feel on top of everything that he did - or didn’t do - to you?

minho has been called every variation of ‘cold’ before. to everyone else, he’s callous, rough, intimidating and unapproachable. but to you, he’s kind, soft, gentle and loving. it never mattered what anyone thought of him, as long as you always knew that he loved you, that you saw him for who he was.

but toward the end, what if you saw him how the others did? what if you had deemed him cold too?

the mere thought makes him sick to his stomach.

you sniffle, wiping at your eyes. “you don’t have to say that. it’s in the past now.”

fracture upon fracture upon fracture. minho doesn’t know how much more of this his heart can take.

his fingers twitch, and before he can stop himself, he’s reaching for your hands. to his surprise, you let him.

your hands, so delicate in his, so warm.

“i should’ve fought harder for you,” he says, his voice so small that you barely catch the words at all.

but his eyes… he hopes you can see it in his eyes - the regret, the longing, the pain of losing you dimming the light of the stars he holds there.

giving his hands a light squeeze, you say, “and maybe i should’ve held on tighter instead of letting go.”

“i made you feel like you weren’t enough. it’s the worst thing i ever did to you. i understand why you left.”

you try to calm your breathing, because you really don’t feel like breaking down in front of him right now. you don’t say anything in response; what are you even supposed to say? you told him everything that you wanted to the night that you two broke up. everything that you tried to bottle up for months was laid on the table that night. you watched as he listened to you, watched as his heart broke alongside yours. that was it.

“i… i’m sorry,” minho stutters, and for the first time since you’ve known him, he looks scared. “i’m sorry. can’t we try again? i swear i won’t let you down again. i swear to you.”

“min…” the nickname slips out of habit and for a second there, minho thinks you would say yes. but then… “i know you’re sorry. i know we didn’t break things off because we fell out of love. but i don’t think you’re at a point in your life where i can be the most important thing right now. you may not mean to, but there’ll be things that you prioritize over me… and i’m not at a place in my life where i can settle for being on someone’s back burner either. the timing’s just off. it’s not your fault, life just got in the way.”

minho stares at you, the stars dying out one by one. the hurt is beyond what any word can describe but in a way, he understands. it fucking sucks, but he gets it. he has to accept it now.

he nods solemnly, tracing odd patterns on your palms. then he asks, quietly, “can i hold you? just for a while.”

please indulge me, he thinks. this is the last thing i’ll ever ask from you.

you don’t reply with words. instead, you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him into you. you two stay there in each other’s embrace for god knows how long. it could’ve been minutes or it could’ve been hours. you always lose track of time when you’re wrapped up together.

you hold him like he - tough and intimidating minho - is made of glass, and he holds you like he doesn’t ever want to let you go.

but he has to eventually.

you untangle yourself from him to find that he’s been crying. the tears on his cheeks catch the light from the street lamps, reflecting like crystals in the night. when you wipe them away, you tell him, “for once, i was right.”

“about what?” he sniffles.

“you really are a hopeless romantic,” you smile, trying to lighten the mood. as much as you can anyway. “i knew you’d prove me right one day.”

minho wants to scoff but his eyes are burning from the tears and his throat feels like it's closing up, so he lets you have this one. the last one, right?

maybe he is a romantic, and maybe it’s only for you. maybe it makes him a little hopeless.

the walk back to yours ends too quickly. but truth be told, even if you had walked together until the sun came up, it still wouldn’t have been long enough for him.

you both stand there, two heavy hearts looking at each other, looking for one another.

there’s no goodbye, only goodnight.

and you’re the one who says it first.

minho returns your sentiment with a choked up voice, a brush of his fingers against yours, and when you finally turn to walk up the steps, his gaze lingers on your retreating figure.

then he calls your name softly. “hey, uhm... i’ll let you know if the scarf turns up, okay?”

you turn back with a knowing smile. it’s still sad, but there’s some faith hidden there.

“i hope it will.”

permanent taglist: @onlyycb97wife @starsandrqindrops @borahae-reads @abbiestearsricochet @cutiespaghetti @anthropologykpopmultistan @moonlinos @mjnhoz @caitlyn98s @piercidh34rts  @stayceebs97 @linocz @yaorzu-blog @biribarabiribbaem @kayleefriedchicken

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 16.01.2024]

#stray kids fic #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #skz fic #skz imagines #skz x reader #skz x you #lee know angst #lee know scenarios #lee know x reader #lee know imagines #lee know x you #lee minho x reader #lee minho x you #stray kids #lee know #lee minho

[i23kazu]

COMFORT FROM ME (everything will be okay.)

summary: genshin characters comforting you :,)

characters: aether, albedo, arlecchino, ayaka, ayato, beidou, capitano, childe, diluc, dottore, eula, ganyu, gorou, heizou, itto, jean, kaeya, kazuha, keqing, kokomi, kuki shinobu, lisa, lumine, mona, ningguang, pantalone, raiden, rosaria, sara, scaramouche, shenhe, thoma, venti, xiao, yae, yanfei, yelan, yoimiya, zhongli x gn!reader

a/n: genshin characters comforting you. this is the longest post i’ve ever written. with so many characters. so please please please like and reblog with comments (and tags), and if you appreciated this please give me a follow! i'd really appreciate it :") ps. if you hc traveler as a child/minor, this post isn't for you!

[aether]

— aether holds you close, rubbing his cheek against yours in efforts of slowing your anxiety-ridden breaths down — he won't lie, he's pretty anxious for you as well; but he knows he has to keep his composure so as to not freak you out even more — whispers sweet, calming words into your ears and will tell you that everything is going to be okay

[albedo]

— given that he's not an actual human, albedo does a pretty good job of calming you down — brings you your favourite hot drink (with the right amount of milk/sugar that you love) plus a blanket so that you can curl up in his lap while he calms you down :3 — stays by your side the entire time while you cry :")

[arlecchino]

— slightly rough but when she sees you upset it is on SIGHT with the person who made you cry — will go batshit crazy. just for you — gives a very opinionated speech about how she would report this person who made you upset to the department head yadda yadda and it makes you smile

[ayaka]

— definitely freaks out a little bit but remembers what thoma does for her whenever she feels anxious — holds your hand and squeezes it gently to assure you that she's there for you — she listens a lot and doesn't talk. will let you spill out everything while she sits there and rubs the back of your hand

[ayato]

— keeps his composure and is somewhat like a steady rock — will make you your favourite hot drink!! he remembers the little things about you so the right amount of sugar and milk and water etc — brings tissues and a soft cloth to wipe the tears away from your face while he sits there and holds your hand

[beidou]

— she gets a bit more quiet because she hates seeing you upset like this — slightly murderous look in her eyes because she will obliterate the person who made you this upset — holds you in her arms the entire time she tries to calm you down — wipes away your tears with her thumb

[capitano]

— doesn't speak a lot, he's more of a listener — enjoys holding you in his arms :( the quiet comforter is good at that and his presence is generally very calming — also he knows the exact way you like your fav drink — will be out to murder the person who made you sad

[childe]

— hums a soft melody, the same way he used to calm down his siblings when they got upset. also kisses you a lot throughout — (except that you get a lot more cuddles than them. lol) — cooks you your comfort dish while putting it on your favourite plate with your favourite set of cutlery (the fork and spoon with the cute little whales on them)

[diluc]

— asks adelinde to make you a pot of tea <3 — plays a soothing melody on the piano in efforts to calm you down. he makes you straddle him facing away from the piano and lean against his shoulder — presses kisses to your forehead while you spill about everything that made you upset

[dottore]

— bit of an eccentric comforter but thats okay! — he enjoys telling you stories about his past research and it makes you smile a lot (the safer versions, i'm gna pretend he doesn't do anything sketchy just in case ppl @ me) — i honestly can see dottore as a cuddler i'm sorry to those who disagree. this one's for @cxlrosii #1 dottore lover

[eula]

— she's.. not used to comforting you / other people so she's a little awkward — but she tries! she tends to just sit and listen while giving an extremely violent opinion about the other party to make you laugh — it works :) will bring a soft cloth to wipe away your tears as you sit on her lap

[ganyu]

— gets a little panicked but has to calm herself down before she can calm you down — brings tissues and small pieces of candy for you for eat bc she believes that its a better medicine ;) — also brings qingxins for you for some reason. 10/10 comforter tbh

[gorou]

— wraps you in this huge hug with his tail wagging and all!!!! super cute sight — he hates seeing you sad. will cuddle you on the spot even if other people are around — he lets you pet his ears longer than usual bc he knows it makes you happy :(

[heizou]

— i can't get the image of him straddling you while kissing you to make a smile appear on your face — wipes your tears away gently while telling you stories about the arataki gang getting into trouble — he might have thrown itto under the bus.. but oh well. heizou gives good cuddles okay

[itto]

— 10/10 BEST COMFORTER. will beatbox your troubles away — also likes to throw you up into the air for some reason??? like you could be crying on the floor and be up in the air the next — he's very careful though and he's super sweet about it. brings you to eat your favourite food afterward <333 lets you win onikabuto fights

[jean]

— sweet and comforting, just like her sister — you get a little worried bc you can see the stress etched on her face and you're def worried that you're burdening her but she very quickly catches on — you were not and never will be a burden to jean :( she loves you very very much

[kaeya]

— comforter SUPREME. 10/10. i want to cry so he will hold me in his arms and tell me that everything is alright — sings your favourite song & also loves to cook you your favourite food while you cry about everything to him. lets you taste test — he does this little nodding thing each time you say something its very cute

[kazuha]

— SINGS YOU LULLABIES <33333333 — also he wipes your tears away with his hand :") or his favourite cloth, the one with maple leaf print — cuddles you on his lap right there and then!!!! will run his fingers through your hair. gives headpats 25/8 and will gently affirm you that you are more than what upset you

[keqing]

— a little bit of a tough lover but thats just how she is :") — i honestly don't know too much about keqing but i love the idea of her taking a break from her work just to calm you down — gives good hugs!!!!!! they're sweet and gentle despite her slightly brash personality and always make you come back for more <3

[kokomi]

— the minute you start to sob, she sets down her pen and brings you into her arms — assures you that you're a wonderful person!!!! your mistakes do not define you or something motivational like that — wipes away your tears sweetly + gives the best hugs and smiles afterwards

[kuki shinobu]

— literally the definition of your pillar of strength — she's calm, collected, and analyses the situation pretty well so she can calm you down in the way you need it the most — loves to run her fingers through your hair to help you calm down plus give her a smile (it works)

[lisa]

— she does this little quiet exhale when she sees you being a mess. then tells you "come here, darling" — then gathers you in her arms while you sob everything out of you — makes you your favourite tea + grabs your favourite book so she can read softly to you — also cuddles you very well??? hello???????

[lumine]

— super sweet about everything — assures you that you are not a burden and the only burden is the person who made you upset — she hates seeing you sad like this :( will cuddle you all night to make you happy

[mona]

— being cheered up by mona usually consists of her swearing out the person who made you sad, as dignified mona can be — also makes you tea (its cheaper than going out to angels share + she believes that her tea is better than anything else. you agree) — lets you play with her experiments bc pretty colours make you happy :3

[ningguang]

— lady boss will buy you anything you want. — a new bed? it's coming tomorrow. express delivery. inazuman sweets? you can bet that ningguang placed a hefty sum for a commission and now beidou is rowing as fast as she can. — also you like to hear her just talk about anything bc her voice is so calming <3

[pantalone]

— enjoys listening, then commenting

— he likes to run his fingers through your hair while you rant and cry, gently offering you tissues and back-of-hand-rubs

— i think he would be the type to drop his work and come take care of you :(

[raiden]

— get ready for the lightning strike on the house of the person who made you upset because she is COMING

— absolutely hates seeing you upset and h a t e s the person making you feel bad

— listens to your problems with a (slightly) scary smile on her face bc she’s thinking of [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [SCREAMING] the other person. you love her tho <3

[rosaria]

— hurt her y/n? prepare for w r a th

— wipes away your tears gently and reassures you that you’re more precious to her than anything :( mwa

— will 10/10 cuddle you to sleep!!!! she wants you to have a good night’s rest. also bc im a sucker for bad bitches with soft spots for you :3

[sara]

— all the scary women are lined up LOL

— anyways. get ready bc the person who hurt you? her next target

— treats you to your favourite meal + lays in bed with you to run her fingers through your hair. will big spoon you

— another one where she’s your pillar of strength

[shenhe]

— calm and collected. will try to analyse what happened but will always default to your side

— steeps your favourite tea so she can distract you from the hurt + pain. will put it in your favourite cup as well

— don’t be surprised if the next morning you find a bundle of your favourite flowers on the nightstand next to you. she most likely woke up early to find them :,)

[scaramouche]

— another one of those who aren’t afraid to commit other person dies for you.

— though i’d like to think of all the fluffy things that could happen!! i like to think of him having a soft spot for you

— surprisingly good cuddles. it’s like he always knows what you need <3 pls pepper him with kisses after

[thoma]

— someone hurts you? get ready to be SPOILED.

— seriously. thoma is go big or go home. in this instance, you’re his home, so he’d just have to go big

— this man gives the best cuddles + hugs. will bring you out for a walk and to watch the sunset while holding onto you tightly, reassuring you that you’re more than what people say about you

[venti]

— tries to cheer you up first! lame jokes, a poke to your side, cuddles, whatever

— then he realises that it doesn’t work :( immediately proceeds to phase two where he kisses & cuddles you

— will take you out to fly because he knows how much it makes you smile!!

[xiao]

— doesn’t exactly understand how he can cheer you up… fighting demons somewhat relives stress for him (but at the same time causes stress..)

— will cook you your favorite food + let you hug him as he makes dinner

— tucks you into bed :( i just think this would be very cute

— “i’m here, y/n. no one can take that away.”

[yae]

— storms over to the person who hurt you and scolds them like nobody’s business. while maintaining that smirk and lovey eyes towards you

— a torrent of words just attacks the person LOL they’re left in such a shock that they couldnt comprehend (firstly… guuji yae is talking to them??? secondly… guuji yae is pissed off at them???)

— cuddles you the whole night while proclaiming that you’re the cutest most wonderful darling she’s had the pleasure of meeting and loving <3

[yanfei]

— gives the person who hurt you her meanest glare and storms off holding your hand

— but when the two of you reach home she just goes and cuddles you straightaway, constantly reaffirming the fact that you’re hers :,(

— she absolutely hates seeing you upset like this :( it breaks her heart. she’ll cook the both of you dinner and then cuddles you off to bed, wiping your tears away

[yelan]

— breaking news: mysterious incident in the early hours leaves people befuddled, one severely injured!

— yelan is sure to reassure you of your worth. she’s absolutely furious that someone would hurt her darling like this

— makes you your favourite snack and puts on your fav show. makes sure that she cuddles you throughout and leaves kisses on your forehead so that you constantly feel loved <3

[yoimiya]

— puts on a firework show just for you >:( the pretty colours just make you very happy + watching it with her? perfection

— makes sure to hug / cuddle / kiss you throughout the night bc she is absolutely flabbergasted (and loves watching you giggle when she uses that word) that someone would tear you down like this :( why are people so mean

— handmakes your favourite sweets! little dango sticks :3 anything yoimiya makes is the best honestly she’s so sweet

[zhongli]

— calmly listens to you as you cry, while he holds you in his arms :(

— he wipes your tears away gently as he explains to you that you’re worth so much more than some dumbass who can’t see that

— uses childe’s money to buy you food. and drink. and maybe a few sweets. and a new piece of jewellery. and a

taglist: @tiredsleep @loptido @raincxtter @infinn-toru @ladyadii @soulsanta @pluvioprinz @sheiiy

please like n reblog (esp w tags!! they make my day) and consider following me :3

#aether x reader #albedo x reader #arlecchino x reader #ayaka x reader #ayato x reader #beidou x reader #capitano x reader #childe x reader #diluc x reader #dottore x reader #eula x reader #ganyu x reader #gorou x reader #heizou x reader #itto x reader #jean x reader #kaeya x reader #kazuha x reader #keqing x reader #kokomi x reader #kuki shinobu x reader #lisa x reader #lumine x reader #mona x reader #ningguang x reader #pantalone x reader #raiden x reader #rosaria x reader #sara x reader #shenhe x reader

[digitaldiarystuff]

Age Doesn’t Matter (or does it?)

hi it’s me again and I’m soo happy about all the likes my stories have been getting, I would also love some requests maybe if I can picture them in my head like maybe descriptions and players, I actually have an idea in my mind for a long ass angst that deals with cheating but I don’t know who to write it for :( Also, enjoyy!

summary: You meet a boy at a club on a night out but realize he looks younger than he says he is

pairing: Pablo Gavi x Y/N

genre: fluff

————

“Come on Sara, we’re late!” you yell up the stairs while tying your shoes. This is a night out with the girls because the 4 of you are single for the first time and it was Annie’s 24’th birthday.

“Ok ok I’m ready.” she says while putting on her earrings and running down the stairs.

You arrive at the club soon after and pay the taxi. You get in and try to find your friends but soon Sara pulls you to the bar.

“We’ll eventually find them let’s take shots!” she scream and you join laughing.

It is like 5 or 6 shots in at the moment and you don’t even have a good sense of self. You laugh uncontrollably with her and your other friends and have the time of your life until you really have to use the bathroom. You know it’s unsanitary but you can’t care right now.

The line for the women’s bathroom is excruciatingly long and the mens’ is empty and you decide nothing’d happen if you just use that one instead.

You open the door without knocking and shocked to see a guy who is washing his hands looking at you with the same shock.

“Can I help you?” he asks not sure how to feel.

“Um, the line for the women’s is long and I really have to pee.” you admitted not caring if you look desperate, you are.

“Oh, okay let me just step out and you can use it.” he said and left.

You are so intoxicated but you still realize this boy looks incredibly hot, you smile and thank him.

After you’re done and washed your hands, you step out to find him still standing there.

“You didn’t leave?” you ask curiously.

“The door, uhm, it doesn’t lock so I didn’t want someone to walk in on you.” he admitted shyly scratching the back of his head. Before you thought he was cute but after seeing his arm muscles, he was hot and so were you.

“That’s so thoughtful, thank you. I’m Y/N.” you extended your hand and he takes it with a heartbeat.

“I’m Pablo.” he just said.

“So Pablo, it was nice sharing this bathroom story with you but I have to get back to my friends.” you said because every second you were getting more and more aware of your surroundings and wanted to find your friends.

“Oh okay.” he says sounding down. “Let me walk you to them.”

You walked together and he helped you get through sweaty dancing bodies around you. He was a true gentleman but as the lights of the club shined brighter, you saw his features and realized he may even be younger than you expected him to be.

You introduce your friends to him and watch them interact for a moment before he decides to get back to his friends at the booth, he invited you all but you didn’t know him that well to accept this invitation.

“So I guess I should go.” he says but you can tell he doesn’t want to. His arm is around your waist still from walking you. You noticed some girls eyeing you and giving you glares, thinking maybe they also liked Pablo or knew him from somewhere but to be honest, you were too drunk to care.

“Or maybe you could dance with me.” you suggested and even in the club setting, you can see his cheeks heat up.

He smiles and takes you to the dance floor holding you close, you’re both smiling and your arms around his neck. His hands slowly made their way to your hips and your foreheads pressed together, your bodies moving to the rhythm. It’s like electricity’s coursing through your bodies and everything else didn’t matter but as he’s leaning in, you just have a question.

“How old are you?” you ask completely ruining the mood but this was a pet peeve of yours, you don’t date younger guys.

“I’m 22” he says without thinking and since you’re 23, that’s not too bad. He must be one of those guys who’s babyface like JB. You shrugged it off.

“Can I kiss you now?” he asks wanting to create the moment you ruined back.

You smile and he leans in to capture your lips with his, it’s the best kiss you’ve had in a while. He guides you and uses just enough strength, still holding your body slowly dancing. He puts his hand on the hem of your dress slowly inching up and you gasp in surprise, he uses this opportunity to push his tongue inside your mouth and deepen the kiss. Your hands pull on the hairs on his neck as you felt over the moon, Pablo was too good with his hands and lips.

You pulled away after a few minutes, trying to catch your breath as he smiles at you. You smile back hoping this was as good for him as it’s good for you. Just as he’s leaning again and proving it was as good, Sara ran up to you saying she has work tomorrow and she has to leave. You know you can’t leave her alone in this drunken state and considering she’s your roommate why bother with 2 ubers when you can leave together but you weren’t exactly ready to say bye to Pablo.

He looks at you with piercing eyes, trying to read if you’re really leaving but you pout your lips as you explain it to him, he’s not happy but doesn’t do anything to stop you and slowly takes his hands off of you meanwhile the three of you are walking outside.

“Can I at least get your number so we can finish what we started another day?” he asks in a suggestive tone. You look at him and know you’re dying to do it so pick his phone off his hands and write down your number. He smiles and presses one last kiss to your lips before letting you and Sara get in the car and drive off.

You smile to yourself at how everything went down tonight, Pablo is nothing like you’ve ever been with before and he’s so refreshing you hoped he would text you, even if it’s totally sexual. You normally never do this, this is not you but his soft brown hair and those eyes looking into your soul made your knees go weak and you mind go numb. You wanted to see him again.

And your prayers are answered after you go into your room and had a quick shower to wash off the club scent off your body. He texted you.

“Did you make it to home safely?” he just said and you smiled to yourself at how thoughtful he is.

“Hello to you too Pablo, yes don’t worry. What about you?” you asked

“Me too, just in.”

You talked for a few minutes back and forth until his replies stopped and you figure he’s fallen asleep.

You decide to watch some reels before falling asleep yourself, going on insta and while going through some stories, you come across with suggested profiles, including Pablo’s. Your mouth fall to floor as you see his picture with a Barcelona shirt on and click on his profile, discovering he’s a football player for the team and realize what those looks at the club for. They weren’t because those girls wanted him, well maybe it was but it was also because they were shocked to see a footballer with a girl. You never cared about football so it’s natural you didn’t realize he was the Pablo Gavi but he didn’t mention it either.

You decide if he didn’t want you to know, you shouldn’t pry in his life further. Maybe he liked not being recognized so you go to click off his page until you see a birthday post he did in august. You smile at how happy he looks and read the caption about thanking everyone wishing him a happy birthday until you see a hashtag.

#19

You send him a final text before your eyes close and you drift to sleep.

“Really, you’re 19???”

#pablo gavi #pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi x y/n #pablo gavi x you #pablo gavi oneshot #pablo gavi fluff #football x y/n #football #football imagine #football x reader #football x you #fc barcelona

[valeskafics]

"To All The Boys I Loved Before: The Contract" - Modern!Aegon Targaryen II x Stark!Reader

a/n: fic masterlist HERE

Summary: Aegon confronts you after your surprise kiss and suggests the wildest plan you've ever heard.

TW: profanity, innuendo, she/her pronouns, fluff

Word Count: 2,575 words

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the House of The Dragon/Fire & Blood characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Comments, likes, and reblogs are never required but are immensely appreciated ❤️

After the absolute shit show that is your day at school, you go to your favorite diner in the city, sinking down into your usual booth and pray to whatever gods may exist that everyone forgets about these fucking letters sooner than later. Your usual waitress walks over to you with a soft smile, as though she senses what a rough day you’ve had and slides a chocolate shake your way, telling you it’s on the house. You take it gratefully and begin sipping on it, wondering if it’s too late to move out of the country with Sara. You hear the bell on the door jingle and don’t pay it any mind until you see none other than Aegon Targaryen sliding into the booth opposite you, greeting you by name.

“What the hell are you doing here?” you question, eyes wide.

“Stopped by your house and asked Cregan where you might be,” he pauses before raising an eyebrow, grabbing your shake and taking a long sip, “Nice ‘study group’, by the way.”

“I am studying,” you insist, grabbing your calculus book and waving it in his face before opening it, “So if you’ll excuse me-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Aegon protests, pushing the book down and giving you that lazy smile that’s so quintessentially him, “You think you can kiss me like that then play hard to get? I don’t think so, Stark.” You groan, sliding down in your seat and covering your face as Aegon continues rambling on, “Look, don’t be embarrassed. You’re cute, Seven Hells, you’re really fuckin’ cute in a quirky sort of way. And that kiss? Surprisingly hot. But Maris and I just broke up so I’m not really in a place to-”

Your eyes go wide, jaw dropping, “Hold up, are you trying to reject me right now?”

Aegon nods slowly, “Well, the rejection didn’t really seem to take the first time, so.”

You scoff, crossing your arms and narrowing your eyes at the blond in front of you, “I am not trying to date you, Aegon Targaryen.”

“Okay, well your mouth is saying one thing but then your mouth said another.”

You look at him, entirely confused, “What?”

“Like you’re talking. But then the kiss. Mixed signals, baby.”

You grit your teeth in annoyance, barely resisting the urge to reach across the table and grab him by his neck, throttling him. You take a sharp inhale through your nose as you watch the smug little fuck continue to sip on your chocolate shake before he finally has the basic human decency to order his own.

“Look, let me be emphatically clear about this,” you say, clasping your hands together, ignoring the cute little smirk Aegon gives you, “You should know that I don’t actually like you. I just needed to make it look like I liked you so someone else wouldn’t think I like them. Get it?”

Aegon hums, pretending to be in deep thought before shaking his head, “Sounds pretty convoluted. I think you’re crazy in love with me and this whole ‘other guy’ story is just to throw me off the scent.”

You shake your head in annoyance, grabbing your second shake and taking a sip as you mutter, “You are so fucking full of yourself.”

“That may be, but until you tell me this mystery stud’s name, I’ll remain convinced you have a secret tattoo of my face on your ass.”

“Ugh, gross,” you cringe, “Fine. It’s Jace.”

His jaw drops, “Jace? Hold up, doesn’t he like, date your sister?”

“Yeah, well, he used to.”

“And you like him?” Aegon covers his mouth as he laughs to himself, “Sick. This is amazing.”

“Yeah, and he got a letter too. And he’s my best friend,” you pause, “Or was. Also my sister’s ex. So you can see how complicated and embarrassing it would be if he thought, you know-”

“So, wait,” Aegon cuts you off, realization hitting him, “I’m not the only one who got a letter?” He pouts slightly, though seeming genuinely disappointed, “Man, you think you’re special, then you find out she sent love letters to two guys-”

“Three.”

Aegon’s jaw drops, “Excuse me?”

“There were five letters total, so don’t go feeling too special,” you grumble, ignoring the slightly wounded look on his face.

“Five? Fuckin’ A, who else?”

“I really don’t wanna talk about this, least of all with you.”

Aegon sighs as you proceed to ignore his attempts at conversation. And he looks at you. Really looks at you, almost as though it’s for the first time, as if he’s trying to figure something out. You finally speak up after a moment.

“For the record, I’m really sorry I kissed you. I promise it won’t happen again.”

Aegon is caught off guard, his lips slightly parted as if to respond, but he just nods before asking, “You need a ride home?”

You look at him wearily before nodding, “Uh, yeah. Sure. Thanks."

The two of you pull up in Aegon’s golden Jeep Wrangler outside your house around thirty minutes later and he turns to you after a beat, “What are you planning on telling Jace when he finds out we’re not actually dating?”

“The truth I guess,” you sigh, “And in the end, ruining my friendship as well as my relationship with my sister.”

“So, what if you didn’t tell him?”

You freeze, facing Aegon and frowning slightly in confusion, “Excuse me?”

“What if we kept it up for a while?” Aegon asks, leaning in, giving you a whiff of his Chanel aftershave, “Let people think we’re a couple. Not just Jace. Everybody.”

You knit your brows together in confusion, “Why would you want that?”

“I’m just thinking, when Maris saw you kiss me? She went fuckin’ nuts.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes and leaning back in your seat, “Ah. Of course it’s about Maris.”

“The hell does that mean?”

“You’re obsessed with her,” you say matter-of-factly.

“No, see, that’s the whole point! She thinks she owns me,” Aegon says excitedly, “I want her to know she doesn’t, you get it?”

“Ah, so I’m a pawn in your sick, twisted little game-”

“You made me a pawn first when you jumped me,” Aegon retorts, and you know it’s true, “Just think about it.”

“Don’t get your hopes up,” sigh, thanking him for the ride and getting out of his car.

Aegon, surprisingly, waits till you get in the house, watching to make sure you’re okay. He grins to himself when he sees Jace walking over and pokes his head out, waving at his cousin. Jace’s eyes go slightly wide as he approaches Aegon.

“Hey, are you dropping her off?” Jace asks, curious.

“Looks like it,” Aegon grins to himself.

“Sorry,” Jace pauses, “How long have you guys been dating?”

“Not long,” Aegon answers with a devilish smile, “But I really like her!”

And with that, he drives off.

The next day, after a rather awkward confrontation with Jace where he tried to lecture you about dating his cousin, you approach Aegon, on the lacrosse field and call out to him, “Hey, Targaryen!”

Aegon turns away from his teammates and jogs over to you, an eyebrow arched, “Hey, Stark.”

“I’m in.”

“Dope.”

And then? He grabs and kisses you in full view of the rest of the team. And Maris, who’s watching the whole thing with the biggest scowl on her face. And Jace.

After his practice is over, the two of you sit under a tree at one of the lunch tables. You have your notepad out, a pen poised, ready to write something down. Aegon chugs down a Gatorade while he looks at you in amusement.

“If we’re gonna do this, I think we need a contract so we’re on the same page about the rules,” you declare, prompting Aegon to give you an incredulous look.

“Rules? You really know how to zap the fun out of a situation.”

“It’s important to know where we stand on certain issues,” you protest, giving him an annoyed glare, “Like I don’t want you to kiss me anymore.”

“What?” Aegon scoffs, “That’s crazy! Who’s gonna believe we’re dating if I’m not allowed to kiss you?”

“Look,” you say wearily, explaining to him, “You might be used to all of this stuff, but I’ve never had a boyfriend before. I don’t want all my firsts to be fake. If I’m gonna be making out with someone, I want it to be real.”

“But you kissed me first!”

“It’s non-negotiable,” you snap, writing no kissing in huge block letters on the contract as one of the terms, holding it up to make sure he sees it.

Aegon rolls his eyes, “Fine, but we gotta do something! People will get suspicious if I never touch you.”

You think for a minute before answering, “You can put your hand in my back pocket. Like in ‘Sixteen Candles’, ya know?”

He raises an eyebrow before sighing, “I don’t know what that is.”

“Okay, rule two, we’re watching ‘Sixteen Candles’,” you continue writing, “Also, rule three. We can never tell anyone that the relationship is fake. It would be too humiliating. For both of us.”

Aegon nods, “Okay, yeah. Also,” he adds, “How bout if I write you a note every day? Maris was always getting on my ass to write her notes and I never did. So, if I start sending them to you, that’d really piss her off.”

“Such a romantic,” you sass, adding that to the terms.

“And you have to come to parties with me. And my lacrosse games.”

“Then you have to drive me to school.”

“Fine,” he grins, “But you come to come on the ski trip.”

Oh. You didn’t see that coming. The infamous King’s Landing High School ski trip, infamous for being the place where more students lose their virginity than senior week and prom combined. You definitely didn’t anticipate going on that trip.

You look at him, confused, “That’s like, three months away. Do you really think we’ll still be doing this then?”

Aegon shrugs, “Let’s call it a contingency. No one would ever let their boyfriend go on the ski trip without them, so if we’re still doing this when the trip happens, you’re coming.”

You’re absolutely certain that by the time the ski trip comes around, you and Aegon will be ancient history. That’s the only reason you agree, shaking his hand and both of you signing the contract.

The plan goes perfectly. When Aegon parks at school the next day, you step out and he wraps an arm around your waist, sliding his hand into your back pocket. For all intents and purposes, he is your boyfriend. He sneaks you cute little notes into your locker, in full view of Jace and Maris, and always makes sure to save a spot for you at lunch and in the two classes you share together. Your first official appearance as a couple is at one of the Cargyll twins’ parties. Of course, Cregan is ecstatic about you going, practically shoving you out the door when Aegon shows up to drive you. You, on the other hand, are slightly more hesitant. This isn’t really your scene.

You shift your weight from foot to foot, tying and untying your hair, yelping when Aegon snags the scrunchie from your hand, putting it around his wrist, “Hey!”

“This is mine now,” he teases, “Leave your hair down. You look pretty. See?”

He takes a picture of you on his phone and shows it to you, immediately setting it as his lock screen. The action warms your heart a bit, especially when he pulls you in for a selfie, pressing his lips to your cheek, taking a picture and setting it as your lock screen.

The party goes relatively well, if you count Maris being a massive bitch to you as going well. She’s clearly jealous that you’re dating Aegon, judging by the bombastic side eye she sends your way every few minutes. When the night is finally over, you heave a sigh of relief, climbing back into the jeep. You and Aegon chat, and it’s surprisingly nice. The subject comes up of why you’ve never had a boyfriend.

“I dunno,” you hum, “I guess it’s cuz no one’s ever liked me like that.”

“That’s not true, Stark. I know for a fact Erryk Cargyll asked you to spring formal last year and you said no,” he smiles at you teasingly, “Come on.”

“I don’t know,” you sigh, “Just dating. Love. It’s fun to read about and write about and think about, but when it’s real? It’s…”

“Scary?” Aegon offers, his voice soft, gentle even.

You nod, “Yeah.”

“You’re not scared to be with me,” he points out.

“Well, this doesn’t mean anything.”

Aegon frowns, looking slightly hurt as the two of you pull up to your house, “Right. See you at school.”

The fuck is he so hurt about? This is all fake.

Right?

It’s weird, but “dating” Aegon is comfortable. It’s nice hanging out with him and his friends. Having him come over for movie nights. Him and Cregan get along surprisingly well. It feels right in such a weird way. So right that it scares you. And when the time comes for the ski trip, Aegon refuses to give up the ruse when you suggest it. Even though Maris is crazy jealous, practically begging for him to come back to her, he seems to think it’s not enough.

So, you get on the bus, moving to sit with Alysanne. Aegon frowns at you, watching you go. He sits beside Maris. That’s fine, right? It’s part of the plan. Why does it hurt so bad if it’s fake, though? Why do you feel so fucking jealous?

Aegon actively avoids you the rest of the day, and so, you take matters into your own hands, asking Arryk where you might find him. Arryk tells you his best friend is probably in the hot tub and gives you a wry smile.

“He can’t stop talking about you. You’re good for him. Thanks for making him so happy.”

You smile awkwardly before heading out to the hot tub, wearing your pajama shorts and tank top. Aegon is sitting there, surrounded by steam.

“You all by yourself out here?” you ask quietly. He shrugs and looks away, making you sigh, “So, what, you’re ignoring me now?”

Aegon narrows his eyes, looking at you, completely pissed off, “You think I’m ignoring you? That’s fucking rich! You didn’t even want to sit next to me on the bus,” he looks genuinely hurt as he continues, “I packed us snacks. I asked Cregan where to get your favorite snacks and everything.”

Realization hits you.

Holy fucking shit.

Ignoring the fact that you’re not wearing a swimsuit, you get into the hot tub in your pajamas and make your way to Aegon. He pulls you onto his lap so that you’re straddling him, his hands resting on either side of your face.

“I wanna be with you,” he murmurs, “No contract. No bullshit,” his violet eyes flutter slightly as you rest your forehead against his, “Is that okay?”

You nod, swallowing thickly, “Yeah, Aegon. It’s more than okay.”

And you press your lips to his, never this moment to end.

Needless to say, your contract is torn to shreds the moment the two of you return home, as boyfriend and girlfriend.

#aegon x reader #aegon x you #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon targaryen x you #aegon ii x reader #aegon ii x you #aegon ii targaryen x reader #aegon ii targaryen x you #aegon targaryen ii x reader #aegon targaryen ii x you #my writing #tatbilb fic

[the-dendrophile-bookdragon]

Remedy

Pairing: Modern!Surgeon!Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader

Warning: description of pulling out stitches, fluff

Summary: Injures heal differently. Yours do slow, but you don't mind

Part 3/9

Series Masterlist

Please support me by liking my post and reblogging and maybe leaving tags. Thank you!

The week goes by and your stitching heals. Today the thread will be pulled out. “Doc, can’t you let me go to sleep?” Aemond chuckled at your words. “The area around it will be numbed. You won’t feel a thing. Sara is a very competent surgeon. She will do a fine job.”

I nod, not really sure. His student came rushing in. She had a notebook under her arm and looked out of breath. “Sorry, doctor. The last surgery was a bit longer than anticipated.” Aemond stood next to me, unmoving. He nodded over to a table with utensils. “Begin.” The student nodded.

She cleaned the area before she applied a numbing cream. “We will wait now for a minute and then I will touch part of the area and you tell me if you feel anything.” You nod. A minute goes by and Sara touches your skin. “Do you feel anything?” I shake my head.

Sara takes the scissors and goes to work. You turn away, closing your eyes and taking Aemond’s hand. He momentarily looks down at you. Shocked about your reaction. He squeezes your hand and turns back to his top student. She was already finishing pulling out the thread. “Finished!” She declared proudly as she dressed the wound. Aemond nodded, taking notes. “You can take a break, Sara. Thank you!” She nodded and scurried off.

You were still holding on to his hand and had your eyes closed. “No friend of needles?” You opened your eyes and your eyes widened. “So much, doc. I hate them. And I hated this even if I don’t feel anything. I hate medical stuff in general. I fainted once as we had a day excursion to a doctor in school.”

Aemond smirked. “Well you were very brave now.” You smirked back, “Does this mean I get a sticker or candy?” Aemond threw his head back and laughed. He took deep breaths to calm himself down. “I am sorry. I have neither one of those on hand.” You pout jokingly.

--

Aemond came to your room daily. He liked your company. You were funny und not as annoying as his other patients. To be fair his other patients consisted mostly of old, rich men his grandfather knew. And everyone who knew Otto Hightower knew how annoying and arrogant he could be.

Currently he was sitting opposite of you, a chess boar between you. You were good, but Aemond had tricks up his sleeve. But he was debating to let you win. “I think you are rubbing off on me.” You laid your head to the side and looked quizzically at him. “How so?”

Aemond sighted, “I told my student, Sara, she did a good job. I have never done that before. Her look spoke volumes. And I greeted a lot of staff I normally don’t greet.” Your eyes widened. “Oh. My. Gods! I tamed the Dragon Prince!” Aemond was confused, “Dragon Prince?” My eyes widen. So it was a nurse internal rumour. Oops. “There is a rumour going around the nurses station you have a dragon tattoo hidden under your scrubs.”

Aemond’s eyes widen. He became a little defensive. “How did you pick that up even if you don’t work here?” You smirked and made jazz hands. “Magic!” Aemond chuckled. “So is it true?” Aemond just shrugged. “Checkmate!” You groaned, “I want another game! You play unfairly!” The tall doctor just smirked.

Do you want to read more of the GOT/HOTD Character? Click here Wanna stay updated? Click here Wanna request something? Click here

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#aemond fanfiction #soft aemond #aemond targaryen headcanons #aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond x you #aemond x reader #aemond x y/n #aemond one eye #aemond targaryen x you #aemond targaryen modern au #prince aemond x reader #aemond x fem!reader #prince aemond targaryen #prince aemond #prince aemond x you #prince aemond fic #remedy

[yellowocaballero]

Weekenders Side Story: Byleth Gets Turned Into A Cat; Felix Causes Problems On Purpose

“You know humans can’t spontaneously become cats, right?”

“So far as we know,” Dimitri stressed. “Magic can perform impossibilities, can’t it? Annette and Byleth were practicing magic for hours yesterday. She could have magically turned into a cat!”

“Uh huh.” Felix hadn’t expected that to work, but might as well make the attempt. “What are the other reasons it reminds you of Byleth?”

“Its fur is the exact shade of her old hair color, and its eyes are the same shade as her current eyes. One would assume it’s just a castle stray -” Left unsaid: like Felix was undoubtedly assuming. He absolutely was. “ - but none of the castle strays are affectionate to either of us. It’s well-groomed and its fur is silky, which is another case in point against it being a stray. Its claws and teeth are wickedly sharp and it wields them with dexterity. It clearly doesn’t possess bloodlust, but it’s always lying in wait for battle. There is something calculated about its expressions, as if they are not quite natural to its face. And the stare speaks for itself!”

Dimitri knows Byleth turned into a cat. It's very obvious. You can tell just by looking at her. Why doesn't anybody believe him? Dimitri never says untrue things. People turn into cats all the time. He's not hallucinating this time he swears.

In which everybody thinks Dimitri is hallucinating, Sylvain grapples with love and family, a young boy finds his destiny, and Byleth has the best month of her life.

A friend asked me to write this and so somehow I did. If you were into Weekenders I highly recommend this, as it is basically the 'Five Years Later' story.

20k of shit getting weird under the cut. I spent so long writing Felipe as the world's most pretentious 15yo that it was weird to mentally smash cut into him as a baby. He's a democratic socialist but just because he hates his dad. He won't stop lecturing Sara on praxis and is convinced that he's in touch with the underprivileged despite being the most privileged teen boy in the country. The OCs have lore guys.

“Felix. Wake up.”

Unfortunately, Felix woke instantly. Seven years of battlefields made a light sleeper. Worse, the voice was Dimitri’s. 

It took longer to realize that he was in his opulent four poster bed in his castle suite. There was no slip dip of the mattress beside him - Annette must have fallen asleep at her desk again. Instead, his only companion in his bedchambers was the King of Faerghus Dimitri Blaiddyd. Who was standing next to his bed. Holding a cat.

“Please,” Felix said, “tell me this important.”

The presence of the cat indicated that it probably wasn’t. Nobody delivered news of another invasion holding a cat. Dimitri would have sent a runner to knock on his door, anyway - kings didn’t fetch people. 

Dimitri flashed a ridiculous pair of cow eyes at him. He held up the slim-but-fluffy black cat in his arms indicatively, as if that could possibly indicate anything. “I need your help in determining if my wife turned into a cat.”

Alright. Felix took a careful breath in and out. He reminded himself that in Dimitri’s world this was an emergency. That Dimitri was doing exactly what they asked him to do, that even asking Felix to confirm the delusion was a sign of incredible effort and will from Dimitri, and that he was coming to Felix because he trusted him to help him feel safe. None of this changed the fact that it was ass o’clock and the King of Faerghus had, again, woken him up because he thought his wife was a cat. But it was important, and it did help. 

Felix leaned over and lit the candle on his bedside with a finger, immediately bathing them in soft candlelight. He saw that Dimitri was in his nightclothes - that he wasn’t even wearing his eyepatch - and that the cat seemed very satisfied with its current position in life. He must have come straight from bed.

“I see,” Felix said evenly. “Can you tell me why Byleth is a cat?”

Dimitri lowered the cat, face falling. “That’s your ‘humoring the mental patient’ voice - no. No, this does sound insane.” He shook himself, holding the cat a little tighter to his chest. “Byleth and I worked on paperwork until 2200 hours. We stayed up for a little while talking, and went to bed at 2230. I believe I fell asleep before she did. Fifteen minutes ago, I woke up suddenly and saw that Byleth was gone. In her place was this cat. Which is obviously Byleth.”

Dimitri held up the cat. Felix looked at the cat. The cat looked at Felix.

Dimitri cuddled the cat closer to his chest, making it close its eyes and purr happily. Somewhat defensively - somewhat exhaustedly - he said, “I am…very, very convinced this cat is Byleth. No part of my mind is telling me any differently. But I recognize that it seems…improbable from the outside. As such, I decided to ask you to help snap me out of this. Or confirm my suspicions, as necessary. I hoped to also call upon Annette, but it seems she fell asleep at her table again. I trust in your discretion.”

Felix sighed and threw aside the covers, dragging himself out of bed. He was only in his boxers, but they were years beyond modesty at this rate. “Obviously. Here, give me the cat.”

With some reluctance, Dimitri passed the cat into Felix’s arms. It was lithe, slender, and attractively fluffy. It was perfectly happy with being tossed about a bit, and it immediately snuggled happily into Felix’s arms and cocked its head at Felix in pure and innocent curiosity. In the candlelight, the black coat shone dark blue.

Its eyes were gigantic, and a strange shade of mint green. It had…the blankest, yet most intense, stare he’d ever seen in a cat. It didn’t move - it just looked at him, trapping Felix in its hypnotic stare and freezing him still. It held eye contact with him for a very long time. Felix broke first, looking away as his spine crawled. That cat knew your sins. 

Well. Felix honestly saw where Dimitri was coming from. He couldn’t say that, obviously - affirming the delusion was a terrible idea. But the cat really was horribly reminiscent of Byleth. He’d never seen any other living being stare like that…

“Do you see what I mean?” Dimitri hissed. “Doesn’t it have Byleth’s uncanny aura?”

It absolutely did. Felix was not about to admit this. “It’s pretty cute.” It was - it felt innocent and pure, yet draped in apex predator blood. “You know humans can’t spontaneously become cats, right?”

“So far as we know,” Dimitri stressed. “Magic can perform impossibilities, can’t it? Annette and Byleth were practicing magic for hours yesterday. She could have magically turned into a cat!”

“Uh huh.” Felix hadn’t expected that to work, but might as well make the attempt. “What are the other reasons it reminds you of Byleth?”

“Its fur is the exact shade of her old hair color, and its eyes are the same shade as her current eyes. One would assume it’s just a castle stray -” Left unsaid: like Felix was undoubtedly assuming. He absolutely was. “ - but none of the castle strays are affectionate to either of us. It’s well-groomed and its fur is silky, which is another case in point against it being a stray. Its claws and teeth are wickedly sharp and it wields them with dexterity. It clearly doesn’t possess bloodlust, but it’s always lying in wait for battle. There is something calculated about its expressions, as if they are not quite natural to its face. And the stare speaks for itself!”

Dimitri finished his speech with a flourish, as if it was all irrefutable evidence. He waited expectantly for Felix to give a retort and refute his points. This time, Felix was floundering. It was normally pretty easy to parse out Dimitri’s illogical trains of thought and help him realize that they weren’t possible. His ideas got really out-there. This was also an out-there idea, but this time he didn’t seem deterred by the obvious impossibility.

He seemed clear and present, but he must be worse off than Felix originally guessed. Damn it. They had so many meetings tomorrow.

He really did not miss this feeling of completely hitting a wall. “Did anybody tell you this, Dima?”

“It was all basic deduction!” Dimitri said heatedly.

“It’s alright if somebody told you.” Fuck, Felix was tired. “Was it Monica again? Or the Dark Mage?”

Dimitri jerked back a little, hurt flashing on his face. Damn it, don’t make Felix feel like shit over this. He was the one so dead-set on the cat thing. “You won’t even entertain the possibility?”

“I’m a master-class mage, Dima. Magic can’t turn full-bred humans into cats.”

“It could have been a blessing by the Goddess.”

“Byleth has a very irregular sleep schedule. She’s always getting up in the middle of the night and walking around. Have you checked the castle pond for her? The stables? The garden?” Judging by Dimitri’s sullen look downwards, he hadn’t. So he really hadn’t been thinking clearly. “Do you need me to check those spots with you?”

It must have been very obvious from the look on Felix’s face that he really, really didn’t want to. Felix had ten meetings today and he’d have ten meetings tomorrow, and he really wanted to go back to the scant few hours of sleep he could scrape. 

Twenty five was a pretty young age to rule an entire country - especially when Dimitri  hadn’t mentally been up to very much for five years. And it wasn’t just Faerghus anymore. He ruled the ‘Territory of Adrestia’ now too. Faerghus had swallowed the Alliance back up, and its lords had all been forced to swear fealty back to Faerghus again. The guy was now effectively the ruler of Fodlan. Anybody in his position would believe that their wife’s a cat.

“I can manage on my own,” Dimitri said stiffly. He held out his arms. “I apologize for waking you up. Please return By - the cat to me.”

Despite himself, Felix hesitated. Dimitri hated even touching live animals - he was always scared that he’d crush them. Bad experience with a frog when he was nine. He hadn’t hurt an animal since, and Felix knew he never would, but…

Dimitri saw the hesitation. It was clear how much Felix had hurt him. But he just sucked it up and took it - as always, after all this time - and he just let his arms drop. 

“Never mind,” Dimitri whispered. “Sorry.”

Before Felix could apologize to him, the cat abruptly wriggled out of Felix’s arms. He let it escape, allowing the cat to jump down onto the floor, and he and Dimitri watched in silence as the cat gracefully trotted away. There was something so familiar about that swaying gait…

That solved that problem. Dimitri didn’t chase after it, which solved another. 

Dimitri turned around and left his room. Felix could almost see the cape snapping at his heels. He was in his sleeping clothes in the dead of night, trying desperately to convince Felix that his ex-private school teacher and current wife was a cat, but it was somehow still impossible to mistake him for anything other than a king.

Felix rubbed his face and groaned. Out of all the times to fall asleep at your desk, Annette…

Sleep was a long time coming that night, and in the morning Felix was tired after all.

***

The next morning was as miserable as expected. 

Felix never had high hopes for it. Every trip to the castle was marked by a month of nonstop useless meetings and wastes of breath lords. He had a million reasons to resent his father, but forcing him to be Lord High Marshall to His Majesty etc was one of the worst. Felix had always assumed Glenn would be stuck with the horrifyingly important positions and that he’d be free to manage the fiefdom while Glenn was busy being important. Now Felix was important. And he couldn’t even complain about it, because every time he complained about it his old man kept on offering to do it instead and leave Felix to manage the fiefdom.

And fuck that. As if he’d inflict Dimitri on any other sucker. 

But, of course and as usual, the situation forced Felix to be a little more honest with himself. If he could be here every day, he would. Even if it involved retainers and vassals and stuffed shirts. For Annette and Sylvain, obviously. But for Dimitri too. Felix always wanted to be there when he needed him. Every time and always.

Tapping the Blue Lion (they seriously needed a new name for their cult - it was a little embarrassing going by schoolyard names) gossip network was the day’s first order of business. Felix updated Sylvain on the situation during their 0500 training session, and by breakfast every Blue Lion in the castle knew. By the end of breakfast Ingrid had rearranged her guard rotations so she could take the position of Dimitri’s bodyguard for the day - peeving his usual guard, who was well aware of Dimitri’s condition, but Ingrid was the only member of his guard who could step in for him publicly. 

The greater castle gossip network spread a little slower. Felix’s manservant heard from Byleth’s ladies in waiting that they couldn’t find her at all that morning. It was a little unsettling. Byleth had the habit of disappearing into the woods and completely forgetting to tell the people responsible for following her around, so the ladies in waiting were more peeved than worried. Felix remembered how clear Dimitri’s speech had been. 

When Felix spoke to Dimitri and Ingrid personally for the first time that day - nearing mid-day, which said quite a bit - Dimitri obviously knew what was going on and had accepted it with his usual grim resignation. His opinion on their rigid protective detail changed frequently, but at his most even he always carried that air of resignation. Sometimes Felix wondered if he thought he was being punished for something. 

They were both in the hallway moving between conferences, but Felix had learned how to take any opportunity to snatch a minute with Dimitri. Dimitri was attended only by Ingrid, and Felix stopped them both in the middle of the hall and bowed.

“Greetings to Your Majesty,” Felix said. This felt intensely stupid after last night, but it always did. “I pray for your continued good health.”

“Greetings to Lord Fraldarius,” Dimitri said, a little coldly. Ingrid made a sympathetic face from behind him. “How fares your wife?”

“I have not had the pleasure of seeing her today.” They all grimaced together. Workaholic woman. “Your Majesty, may I borrow your guard for a minute?”

For just a second, Dimitri looked a little more tired than usual. He was aware they were about to gossip about how to handle the cat-wife situation behind his back. “Of course. Captain Galatea, return at your leisure.”

Ingrid stepped out from behind Dimitri, bowing as a knight to a lord before shooting him a concerned look. “If His Majesty has a minute to join us, his company would be welcome.”

Felix grimaced apologetically. “His Majesty must be very busy. I wouldn’t want to occupy his time with this small matter.”

Read: Dimitri was not invited. They both frowned in apology to Dimitri, who just shuttered his expression and waved them off. Five more retainers immediately swarmed him, and Felix and Ingrid quickly whisked themselves away to a small conference room. The people using it were less important than they were, so they kicked out the idiots and locked the doors behind them. 

Immediately, Felix said, “This sounds stupid, but you need to send your guards out searching for Byleth.”

Also immediately, Ingrid said, “Please do not tell me that you also think Byleth is a cat.”

“Of course I don’t!” Felix snapped. Ingrid raised an eyebrow, and he immediately subsided. “Look. You didn’t see that cat. It was - reminiscent. And nobody’s seen Byleth at all. Finding her would put the matter to rest.”

Ingrid sighed. “Dimitri wanted to check the garden ponds himself. I had to call in one of Byleth’s handmaidens and have her attest that they’ve already looked all over the castle. She’s going to feel awful when she learns that she worried Dimitri…maybe it’ll be enough for her to finally start telling us where she goes all day.”

“Then tell the guards to find her. Say that I need her urgent signature or something.” 

“If you think it’s important, I will.” When had Felix earned that trust? Why? He was literally Felix. “But I won’t mobilize the castle guards without Dimitri’s approval. How should we handle this?”

Felix sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Sylvain said to let it run its course until it becomes a problem. Is he showing any other symptoms?”

But Ingrid just shook her head, looking troubled. “Absolutely none. You know how sometimes he feels a deep worry, but he hides it because he thinks we won’t understand?”

“If that man starts thinking we turned her into a cat -”

“No, not at all. It’s only that he knows we won’t believe him.” Ingrid’s brow furrowed - like Dimitri, more worried than she would like to admit. “It’s hard to do anything for him like this.”

“Flayn would know.”

“Or Byleth.”

The two least emotionally intelligent Blue Lions stood in miserable silence. They mutually attempted to design a respectful, sensitive, and efficient way of solving the problem. They were too emotionally stupid, and they mutually failed miserably. 

“Fuck it, let’s just tell him.”

“Agreed.”

Kidnapping Dimitri was a tall ask, but when Felix returned Ingrid to Dimitri he was able to somehow do it so aggressively that they gained a small bubble of privacy. Felix tried to weaponize his unpleasantness these days.

Ingrid bowed lowly, as a knight to her king. “Your Majesty. Permission to mobilize the castle knights to search the surrounding area for Her Grace.”

Dimitri perked up immediately, and temporarily forgot himself. “Does that mean you believe me?”

Felix and Ingrid adopted poker faces. The implication was clear. Dimitri’s hopeful face fell, and Felix saw him struggle to replace that impassive kingly demeanor. 

He stepped closer, lowering his voice and hissing, “Why are you sending the guards if you don’t believe me, then?”

“It never hurts to be thorough with Her Grace’s safety,” Ingrid said. Nice one. “We want to do our due diligence.”

Dimitri’s voice lowered further, only barely audible to Ingrid and Felix. “Are you or are you not humoring me?”

Felix and Ingrid winced as one.

They were both remembering the same moment - years and years ago, when a raging ‘up and out’ Dimitri accused them of humoring his repeated insistences that the Adrestian mages were using telepathy to project messages into his mind. He had thrown a chair against the cabin wall. It had been the first time Mercedes had to knock him out from concern that he would hurt something or someone else besides himself. 

Dimitri remembered it too. He backed away, closing off his expression, but Felix knew the hunch of those shoulders. Pure Dimitri-class shame. And the Dimitri-special ‘Everything I did while I couldn’t control myself makes me a bad person’. And that particular tightening of the eyes indicated the classic variant ‘I wish my friends had allowed me to freeze to death in the Faerghus winter instead of taking care of me’. Goddess, he was stupid.

“You have my permission for anything you must do,” Dimitri said stiffly. “No need to inform me.”

Which was code for ‘I know I’m compromised right now, so do whatever damage control you want, sorry in advance for the extra work’. It was normally a relief to hear - for more than one reason - but now…

“Thank you, Your Majesty.” Ingrid bowed again. “I’ll send the order at once.”

Felix copied her, but he found himself hesitating. That was never a bad thing. It didn’t happen often enough. “Your Majesty. Do you remember when you and Flayn stayed in that small village in the base of the mountains?” Dimitri stared at him blankly. He was correct: those five years were fuzzy for him. Sometimes Felix wondered if he remembered more than he admitted. “You kept on telling Flayn that the village was overrun by Adrestian mages. She said that you were on high alert during your entire stay. Apparently your caution was how Flayn realized that a group of travelers were plain clothed scouts from the Adrestian army. It may have saved your cover.”

Dimitri blanched, apparently shocked. “I did? I was right?”

“They were not experts in telepathic magic,” Felix said, somewhat circumspect, “but paranoia was a smart move in those days. You weren’t always wrong, Your Majesty.” 

“It used to make Lady Byleth sad,” Ingrid said quietly. Felix nodded, but Dimitri just looked away. “She once told me that you wouldn’t be so scared all of the time if there wasn’t anything to be scared of.” 

“Lady Byleth also blamed herself for involving me in my own coup and the war for my own kingdom,” Dimitri said, stiff and unyielding. Felix knew that the topic was a sore spot between them. Byleth had vented about it more than once to Felix. And cried about it, which had been deeply alarming. “I take responsibility for my own burdens. And I would not burden you two with my own…beliefs.” 

Ingrid and Felix gave him identical ‘you aren’t a burden, asshole’ eyes. Dimitri knew the eyes perfectly well and pretended he did not. He turned away from them and made eye contact with a courier, and just like that their personal time came to an end. More than they usually got. 

Ingrid and Felix exchanged long-suffering glances. But something rose in her expression, and Felix had to admit it rose on his too: 

Felix didn’t know a lot about blessings from the Goddess. He didn’t know any Faith magic, forbidden magic, or experimental atomic magic. He knew nothing about beastkin, dragonkin, or catgirls. He was not a religious man and wasn’t even a particularly friendly man. But even he had to ask himself…

…what if his professor had turned into a cat?

***

Felix recruited Sylvain for the cause, because he clearly didn’t have enough to do.

Grand Chamberlain was such a fake job. Sylvain was probably the smartest Grand Chamberlain in two hundred years, but Dimitri’s uncle had gutted the position so severely that it was a little fake. Then King Dimitri unified Fodlan, appointed Sylvain to the position, and un-faked the job via signing off on whatever he wanted to do. In a move that would have made the teenage Blue Lions faint from shock, Sylvain loaded himself up with as many responsibilities as he could and lifted every burden from Dimitri’s shoulders that he could manage. Even beyond what he could manage, sometimes. The Blue Lions were experts in collusion to make him take a break (Mercedes persuading him to take a break, Dimitri signing off on the break, Annette and Felix taking over his duties, Petra shipping him off to the beach), but those moments were few and far between.

And that wasn’t even mentioning the baby.

Felix easily kicked aside the guards outside of Sylvain’s office, shoving open the door and finding Sylvain in the exactly expected location (giant fancy desk) doing exactly the expected things (paperwork). Felix would have come earlier, but he had squeezed Sylvain’s schedule out of his assistant and timed his approach for the handful of hours that Sylvain did not have a meeting. 

“You’re helping me out with the Catleth situation.” 

Sylvain looked up, pained but not surprised. “With the cat or with Dimitri?”

“We’re finding the cat.”

“You don’t need me for that.” Felix opened his mouth. “If you make any pussy jokes I’m throwing you out of this castle.”

“You don’t have the authority to do that.” He did. With Dimitri indisposed, Sylvain had the administrative final word. Byleth had the Blue Lion final word, which was a subtle yet distinct difference. “If I’m going to spend my free hour hunting down a cat then I’m going to multitask while doing it. You’re coming with me.”

“How is that multitask -”

“It’s making you take a break. Up.”

Sylvain got up. They swapped abilities to bully each other about once every five years, and it was Felix’s turn. 

The castle was sprawling and it was not short on cats. Cats were one of the few things that made Lady Byleth smile, so the groundskeepers were under orders to leave them running around so long as they didn’t disrupt anything. Sylvain immediately began plotting out a systematic search that began at the fringes of the castle and circled inwards - a move that was basically identical to their standard military tactics to eradicate the fleeing dregs of enemy forces. Felix blatantly ignored him and forced him in a straight line outwards. 

“Are we just doing this to make Dimitri feel better?” Sylvain asked, successfully prying himself away from Felix’s iron grip. Damn lancers and their upper body strength. “If we are, then we should probably invite him to this very useful expedition that is a great use of our time.”

“Ingrid mobilized the guards to make him feel better. We are searching for the cat.” A passing page tried to get Felix’s attention. He blatantly ignored them. Dumbass Sylvain had to wave and grimace apologetically. Just get a reputation as an asshole. It was easy. “It’s a better use of our time than idiot forms and idiot idiots.”

“Shit, you’re being serious.” Sylvain stopped short, forcing Felix to stop with him. He looked sternly down at Felix, who forcibly reminded himself that it was his turn to bully Sylvain. “You said that Dimitri thought it might be magic. You’re the mage between us, Felix. Do you really think that Byleth could have magically turned into a cat?”

“Magic isn’t an x factor,” Felix said curtly. “It’s not limited by the beautiful reaches of our imagination. Reason magic is a mathematics and science that produces certain sensible results. Like lightning. There’s no Reason equation for turning a human into a cat.”

“What about Faith?”

“Oh, Faith’s bullshit.”

Sylvain crossed his arms. “Faith’s magic. Annette knows -”

“Annette’s shitty at Faith.”

“Annette thinks shittiness is a moral failing.” Stone faced, Felix pumped his fist in the air - their standard ‘Go Blue Lions!’ gesture. “She was like that before Lady Byleth got her hands on her and you know it.” Felix rolled his eyes. “She made all of us worse, your wife isn’t special.”

Felix pinched the bridge of his nose hard. “Look. Byleth forced all of us to have basic proficiency in all types of magic. I know enough theory behind Faith to understand that it bolsters the body to approach the ultimate ideal form of the goddess. The goddess’ body is immaculate, so it heals the body. The goddess’ body is powerful, so it provides buffs. The goddess is not a cat.”

“Wow,” Sylvain said, impressed. “That is bullshit.”

“Fucking hated learning that shit, but Byleth manipulated me into getting competitive with Annette and forced me to learn it.” The increasingly intense rivalry had turned their relationship from casual into something far more serious. It had taken years for them all to accept that Byleth had arranged all of their relationships, much like she had arranged their lives. “Here, quiet down.”

The best fishing spot in the castle was the large pond in the center of the castle. It was rich with fish, had a peaceful ambiance, and even possessed a waterfall. Byleth’s favorite fishing spot was way out on the outskirts of the castle and bordered a cow pasture. Fishing was a meditative task, and for her it demanded maximum isolation. At Garreg Mach they could clearly see her fishing at the docks during most of her free periods, but nobody was stupid enough to bother her. She had a way of making the blankest stare feel hostile. 

Cows lowed among them, peaceful and stinky. Felix and Sylvain pulled on their hard months of stealth training and snuck through the brittle and scraggly bush, ducking beneath overhanging branches and gently sidling out of the brush to the other side. 

The sight was unimpressive: the pond was just as scabby and tattered as the bush, and the sagging tree branches spread over the pond creaked in the weak spring breeze. Despite the spring, the pond’s foliage was limp and cracked. The only redeeming feature was the solid selection of particularly stupid fish. Due to a confluence of all of these factors, it was Byleth’s favorite fishing spot.

Sylvain leaned close into Felix’s ear. “Didn’t Byleth’s handmaidens already search the fishing spots?”

“Not this one. It’s her secret spot. Nobody with half a brain would tramp through all of this cow shit.”

“Then why do you know about it?”

Special Tea Time. “Classified.”

“The fuck does that -”

Felix slapped a hand over Sylvain’s mouth. Silence and stealth was now of the utmost priority. He had found his quarry. 

Of course, the quarry was the Debatably-Byleth Cat. It was sitting exactly at Byleth’s favorite place to sit on the bank, leaning over the pond as its tail lashed. Its eyes tracked the surface of the water, alert and ready as it waited over its prey. The cat’s fur had looked black last night, but in the color in the daylight was clearly dark blue. 

“That’s supposed to be Byleth?” Sylvain hissed. “Felix, it’s obviously a -”

“Watch!”

Felix almost missed it. The cat had watched its quarry for over a minute, but in retrospect it had clearly just been waiting for the right opportunity. The cat lashed out a gleaming silver claw, spearing a fish and pulling it out of the water. The movement was smooth as silk and so quick that Felix barely caught it. The fish flopped pathetically onto the shores of the bank, and the cat wasted no time in almost swallowing the fish whole. It was probably the most impressive hunting Felix had ever seen.

The cat finished its meal and settled down happily onto the banks, flopping on its side to enjoy the gentle sun. Looking at its serene little squints, you could never tell that it had speared a fish and swallowed it whole in under three seconds. The bat of its paw was perfectly calculated to almost mathematic precision.

“Holy shit,” Sylvain said. “Byleth’s a cat.”

“I’m gonna have to apologize to Dimitri,” Felix said blankly. “Damn. I hate doing that.”

The cat re-embarked on its precise hunt, its bloodlust insatiable. Sylvain looked abjectly depressed. “He’s never going to forget this. This is going to validate him.”

Worst case scenario. “Maybe we don’t have to tell him?” Felix offered. Sylvain gave him a bizarre look. “What? What do you think’s going to upset him more, a missing wife or a cat wife?”

“Impossible to tell.” Sylvain faced down the cat grimly. It - she - casually speared another fish, shoving it down its gullet. Where was she putting it away? That fish was half as big as she was. “We gotta catch that cat.”

“I’m not getting into a fucking chase scene with our cat professor, Sylvain.”

Sylvain whistled, bright and sharp, and Felix immediately shoved him. The cat’s head rose, turning her head as her eyes locked straight onto Sylvain and Felix. They both fought instinctive quailing and the urge to apologize for disrupting the sacred fishing time.

Damn it. This was the point of stealth. She was going to freak out and run off, and Felix would actually be stuck in a horrible little chase scene with his academy professor -

The cat trotted over to them, tail swaying happily, and Felix and Sylvain froze as the cat stopped at their feet and blinked solemnly up at them. Those piercing mint green eyes made Felix understand how the fish felt. Sylvain, still traumatized from the academy, froze in horror and fear. 

Felix bent down and scooped up the cat. He bounced her a little, holding her like a baby, and she meowed delightedly. Sylvain stared at the stone faced Felix and the happily purring cat, rapidly losing all will to live.

“She’s very friendly,” Felix said blandly. 

Sylvain bent down a little, making eye contact with the pleased cat. Hesitantly, he said, “Professor? Is that you?”

The cat mrrp’d. 

“Meow if you can understand me, Professor.”

The cat yawned. 

“I think Byleth might be a regular cat,” Felix said, scratching her behind the ears. “So what do we do now, your lordship Grand Chamberlain?”

“I wish I was in a meeting,” Sylvain said, desolate.

“You don’t mean that.”

“I don’t.” Sylvain sighed, running his hand through his hair. “We can’t let anybody find out about this. The future queen of Faerghus is a cat…how did this even happen? Damn it, why does this only happen to us? What are we supposed to do with her?”

“I don’t know,” Felix said, “does your son want a pet?”

“He’s nine months old, he doesn’t want anything,” Sylvain snapped. “Gather everybody. I’m calling a house meeting. Including Dimitri and the cat.”

Felix raised Cat Byleth to eye level, bouncing her a little. “What do you think, my lady? Are you making a new rule of the Blue Lions? Is it ‘we only eat trout’? ‘If we can fit in it, we can sit in it’? ‘Our kittens are acquaintances’?”

“Let’s go, Felix! And don’t let go of that cat!”

Man, he was cranky lately. 

***

Sylvain did absolutely have a baby. He had met the squirt around twice. It was hilarious.

The birth of Felipe Emilie Gautier was celebrated throughout the country, and the blessing of the goddess was assumed: Sylvain and Mercedes Gautier’s first child was a boy and born with a crest. You couldn’t get any luckier. Dimitri had been hailed by the country as a miracle baby because he was the king and queen’s first child and was born a boy with a crest. There had been celebrations in the streets for a week. 

Good thing, too. Sylvain had refused to have any mistresses. His children would be born via Mercedes, and fuck everybody else. Maybe the goddess had approved of the romanticism.

Sylvain’s position as heir Gautier had already been locked down. But his war heroism, decorated office, and blessed child catapulted him into the second most powerful position in Fodlan. To Felix, it was clearly a little disconcerting for him: nobody had ever valued Sylvain for anything beyond his crest. Nobody outside of the cult had ever respected Sylvain as a person. Sylvain’s reputation in their schooling and his home had been of an empty-headed callous playboy, and no amount of kindness, intelligence, and wisdom from him could dent that reputation. Obviously, war heroism and kingly favoritism turned that around. He was an invaluable asset in making Fodlan strong. Look at his baby.

Sylvain did not look at his baby that often. As much as Felix gave him shit about it, he knew that it was natural. Sylvain worked in the castle and the Gautier capital was two weeks of travel. Losing a month of work to travel was unacceptable, never mind the time spent at home. Sylvain had spent a month at home when Mercedes gave birth and returned six months later to attend the annual fiefdom congressional meeting. That was it. 

Mercedes herself found that kicking around a castle living with her in-laws was a thoroughly boring experience, so she and Felipe were living at the border of the Duscur territory and working with Dedue to build schools and conduct humanitarian missions and whatever-the-fuck. Even letters took ages to reach her.

Dimitri, by this point thoroughly aware that he had stolen everybody else’s fathers, had immediately offered to move Mercedes and Felipe into the castle. Mercedes herself had declined: she was needed at Duscur, not Fhirdiad. Sylvain understood, for the same reasons that Mercedes understood why he had to live at the castle, and they loved each other as much as ever. But Felix knew a small part of Sylvain was a little relieved too. Sylvain was ashamed of the feeling, but that didn’t stop him.

“Think of it this way,” Felix had said. “You didn’t want to be a father. Mercedes wanted to be a mom. You knew you would lose your place in the line of succession if you didn’t become a father.” If a noble of a crested home didn’t have a child their entire territory would excommunicate them. No exceptions. Hilarious. “Now you and Mercedes both get what you wanted. Mercedes gets a baby, and you get to pretend the baby doesn’t exist.”

Sylvain had actually attacked Felix over that one. 

Technically the situation wasn’t Sylvain’s fault. The sword at his neck forcing him to be a parent was incredibly fucked, there was nobody else any Blue Lion trusted to do his job, and the castle incompetence left him taking on so much work that he couldn’t take a break. Maybe it was mean to tease him for child neglect, as if there was anything he could do about it.

That wouldn’t stop Felix. His father had made, in retrospect, a stunning effort to see him as frequently as possible, but that was maybe glimpses of him for a week every three months. Glenn’s death wasn’t the only thing that had strained their relationship. Even Felix was luckier than his friends: his forced bonding time with Dimitri at the castle once he turned five meant that he saw his father too. Felipe might not be so lucky.

Just because it was unavoidable didn’t make it acceptable. Sylvain was fucking up his relationship with his kid. When that baby was an uncertain child, struggling to navigate the oppressive nature of his world, his father would not guide him. When that baby was a bitter teenager, he would blame the father that didn’t want him for the faults of the world. From this distance, it was easy for Sylvain to forget that. Felix wouldn’t let him. Shoving this pain away would push it onto somebody who didn’t deserve it.

Ingrid and Ashe, the token monogamists, weren’t married out of sheer spite. Petra had asked Ashe to return to Brigid to help her with some invaders, and Ingrid had sent him away with support from ex-Adrestian troops. When he returned, he would probably move in with Ingrid into the castle and raise their own child within the castle. Having that Galatean baby out of wedlock might be a bit extreme even for spite, but Ingrid would probably satisfy herself by eloping with Ashe’s lack of title and absolute poverty. Dimitri’s child wouldn’t steal the baby’s father. An unusually lucky baby. 

As for Felix. Annette had submitted their ten year plan onto Felix’s desk and he had rubber-stamped it. Felix would continue splitting his time between his own lands and his castle; Annette would continue her work as Royal Magician. At age twenty eight, once she received the highest level of acclaim she could receive from the Inter-Continental Magical Association, she would leave her position to her successor and return with Felix to Fraldarius full-time. Annette would have the kid and take up a professorship position at the university as she continued her independent research. Felix, you can split your time in half between the castle and raising the kid. Three children maximum, another if one is a jock. You’re on your own after that one. If you have to choose between the castle and your kids, Felix -

Yes, Annette. He’d pick the children. Almost all of them would. Byleth had raised a strange group. 

The men had even gotten together and unanimously agreed to only resort to mistresses if their wives asked. Sylvain had flatly refused. Almost all of them had a stupid amount of half-siblings: it was extremely common practice for lords to try for children with other women if their wives weren’t delivering on the Crest front. Ingrid had a truly insane level of half-siblings, none of which she had met. Ingrid and Ashe had frankly stated that they were having as many as they felt like having, and that chasing the crested baby was her brother’s job. It was technically meant to be hers, but somewhere along Ingrid’s three hundredth kill she stopped caring about what she was supposed to do.

Sylvain’s monstrous half-brother was actually the full child of the lord and lady - Sylvain himself was the child of his father and apparently the most gorgeous woman in her village. Any crested child out of wedlock was bought from the mother and adopted into the lord and lady’s family, given the title of heir, and treated as if they had been there the entire time. Sylvain was apparently identical to his mother. Maybe. He didn’t look anything like the lord. He took after her in personality too. Maybe. He didn’t act anything like the lord. He had never met her, and his father couldn’t be assed to remember her name. When Sylvain got drunk he wondered how much his mother had sold him for.

The flood of extra children had extra utility: namely, that noble tradition put its nobility on the front lines of war literally all of the time, and they all had the habit of dying like flies. Felix had a funny family story from his grandfather about how a generation of Fraldariuses three generations ago had been wiped out in a war against Sreng. Desperately, they literally had to scavenge together a handful of impoverished village bastard children to fill out their ranks again. His entire noble family were the descendents of mistresses. It was a skeleton in their closet that Felix found hilarious.

None of them knew Dimitri and Byleth’s plan. They were all privately concerned that Byleth didn’t know where babies came from and that Dimitri was too awkward to explain. 

Felix had spent five years as an underground revolutionary. He had fought and won a war that unified the continent. He was one of the five most powerful people on the continent. He was renowned as the greatest Master Savant on the continent and was forced to regularly turn down a flood of requests to take apprentices or teach his methods. But he had never really felt like an adult until he was forced to sit at a table with Annette and haggle out how many uncrested children they would have until Felix would start taking mistresses. 

Or had it been earlier? Maybe it should have been. Maybe the first time Felix helped feed Dimitri should have been his tipping moment into adulthood. It hadn’t. He had only felt achingly young. He had been painfully aware of his own inadequacy: his fear, his helplessness, his daily dances with death. He had wanted the professor. 

For years, they had all wanted the professor. She was the only protector they had who hadn’t split her time between their duties and their families. She had dedicated her entire life to them. Every second of her day was about helping them grow, nurturing their minds, healing their spirit, and pushing them to the brink. It was attention they had never gotten from somebody who had never been obligated to give it. 

Families were obligations and pressures. Families were lonely birthday parties and glimpses of their fathers. Families were false mothers who knew you were a cuckoo in their nest. Families were dead mothers, dead fathers, and an extended family who convinced themselves that you stole your cousin’s nonexistent crest. Families were the price your mother put on your head and the faceless wash of half-siblings who you would never know. 

“The Blue Lions are family,” Ashe had murmured into the dark, a long time ago. A dark cabin and a rare meeting between almost all of them. “Right?”

Ingrid shifted closer against him, creaking the rusty mattress thrown unceremoniously to the floor. “You’re all family to me.” 

Three of her brothers had died in the invasion.

“I believe that we choose the family of our hearts,” Mercedes had said quietly. “My adopted father is no father to me. I care for all of you deeply.”

“None of you would ever abandon me.” Annette’s voice was a little thick. Felix had squeezed her hand. “Of course you’re my family.”

“Family is a complex matter,” Flayn had yawned. They hadn’t even realized she was awake. Girl had always been chronically tired. “It’s somewhat of a construct…but far too much emphasis is placed on blood ties in our society. I’ve always had the freedom to arrange my own family. You all will always be a part of it.”

“Fuck my family and its fucking bloodline shit. I can’t tolerate them. I love you all more than anything. No debate here.” Sylvain reached out and gently tapped Dimitri on the shoulder. Dimitri’s face was buried in his ragged pillow, his silky hair tangled over his sheets. They had successfully wrangled him into a bath yesterday. “What about you, Dimitri? We know you’re awake.”

Dimitri curled up on his side, pointedly putting his back to Sylvain. Voice hoarse and deep, he muttered, “I have a mother and father.”

“And I have a brother,” Felix had said. “The living don’t overwrite the dead. None of us here want to be your mother, anyway.” 

“My sister slaughtered my family.” Alright, maybe bringing up family to Dimitri had been a shit idea. “She’ll kill you too.”

Lightly, Sylvain had said, “We’re pretty tough cookies. Have a little faith in us, Your Highness.”

“You should leave,” Dimitri had hissed. “You’re all going to die.”

Felix had groaned. “Did telling us to abandon you work the last twenty times, asshole?”

“We’re in danger anyway, with or without you,” Ashe had reasonably pointed out. “Together or apart. Might as well do it together, right?”

Dimitri muttered something under his breath and buried his face deeper into the pillow. He pointedly ignored everything they said after that, and they politely let him pretend they weren’t there. 

Their best friends forever schtick was a childish promise at seventeen, and their cutesy found family shit had been a childish promise at nineteen. But it was still true, despite everything: they had all married each other. If you didn’t marry, it barely mattered. Mercedes had been living with Dedue for months, and Ashe was currently on another country’s front lines side by side with Petra. Their family had stayed together. Cute, technically. Definitely the desired outcome for all of them. None of them would have it any other way. 

But hey. Sylvain hadn’t promised his baby to be family forever, had he? 

***

The Blue Lions held their sleepover that night in Dimitri’s chambers. Goddess knew what his guards thought about the late night bedroom meetings. They all had reputations. Sylvain was under the impression that he and Felix were very discreet, which meant that half the castle probably knew. Sure, war rooms and sitting rooms had been invented for a reason, but sitting rooms didn’t have Dimitiri’s gigantic bed. 

The sleepover began without Dimitri. Felix’s wife worked the longest hours, but she was one of the blessed lucky officials without a meeting every hour, so Ingrid had successfully tracked her down and explained the situation. Felix was graced with her company the second he escaped the last nightly obligation of the day and barged into Dimitri’s room. Annette was happily playing with Cat Byleth on Dimitri’s bed. At least she hadn’t escaped. 

“This is the cutest kitty,” Annette gushed. “You are just the most friendly, nicest little stray I’ve ever seen! And so glossy!”

“If you start singing Lady Byleth little songs I’m walking out the door.”

“Aw, but look at her.” Annette held up Cat Byleth, swaying her a little. Cat Byleth stared into Felix’s eyes, judging his soul and assignments. “She deserves little songs. Are we really naming her Lady Byleth? Things are going to get confusing if we do. How about the Professor?”

“Incredibly bad news.”

Annette lowered Cat Byleth, giving Felix a dubious look. “Ingrid said that Dimitri says that…” Felix nodded grimly. “So…we’re dissuading him of that notion, yes?” Felix’s grim look sank six feet under. “Darling?”

“I’ll explain once everyone’s here.”

Sylvain arrived after her, flopping down dramatically next to Annette onto the bed and groaning with exhaustion. Felix dragged over his favorite plush armchair, pushing it against the bed and propping up his shoes on the luxurious embroidered sheets. Sylvain refused to even look at the cat. Annette gleefully cooed at the cat until she fell backwards onto the bed and instantly began snoring. Felix slid a pillow under her head. 

Ingrid joined them shortly afterwards, chugging a beer, and cautiously took a seat on the chaise lounge on the other side of the bed from Felix. Cat Byleth was happily kneading one of the pillows. Ingrid squinted at the cat. Cat Byleth purred. 

Finally, Ingrid proclaimed, “I don’t see it.”

“It’s a very unique shade of eye color,” Felix pointed out.

“Look how happy she is,” Ingrid said. The cat was having the time of her life. “If you were turned into a cat, you wouldn’t have fun like that. Even if you really did have a cat brain, you’d be pretty freaked out. Wouldn’t you?”

Felix had to concede the point. Felix would be biting everything.

Dimitri was the last to arrive. He stopped short when he entered his own quarters, cape already halfway unlatched, and stared blankly at the assembly. Everybody else turned to look at Ingrid, who raised her hands in a plea for innocence. 

“I told him! I mentioned it twice.”

“Forgive me. My mind was somewhat preoccupied today.” Dimitri slowly finished unlatching his cape, moving to toss it on the nearest flat surface. Annette twitched an eyebrow at him. He slowly hung up the cape on the hook near the door. “Good evening, all. You…brought B - the cat.”

“She is really just so precious.” Annette was sitting cross-legged with the sleeping Cat Byleth in her lap, scratching her behind the ears. “I’ve never met a sweeter cat. And she’s just so fluffy!”

“Right,” Dimitri said stiffly. He walked into the room, stiffly surveying the group. “Is the intervention necessary?”

“It’s more of a family meeting,” Sylvain said. Dimitri clearly mentally tacked ‘tactfully’ onto the end of that sentence. “I just figured we should put our heads together and figure this situation out, Your Majesty. And hey, it’s been almost a week since we were all in the same room!”

“That’s because Annette never leaves the tower,” Felix said blandly. 

“If it’s a family meeting, it’s Dimitri.” Dimitri disappeared into his closet and began changing clothing as Annette mimed aiming a Fire spell at Felix’s face. They had chased away Dimitri’s manservants, so Felix would have offered to help him remove the armor, but Dimitri had designed the armor specifically so he could remove it himself. Apparently he had found time to learn metalworking in his training schedule. Somehow. “Do the guards have any leads on my wife?”

“Nothing.” Ingrid looked a little uncomfortable. “We don’t want to cause a panic, so we’re searching in plain clothes, but some of them are beginning to grow concerned.”

“Annette, have you tried a tracking spell?”

“Yep. It completely fizzled out.” Quickly, Annette added, “Not as if she was dead! It was like a letter that was returned to the sender. It mystified the hell out of me. I couldn’t figure it out. I was considering writing Lysithea about it.”

Dimitri emerged from his closet, wearing far more casual and soft clothes. The cat’s ears twitched, and she opened her eyes and lifted her head to see Dimitri standing in front of the bed. She jumped out of Annette’s arms and bounded over to Dimitri, jumping up into his automatically outstretched arms. She immediately began rubbing her head against his chest, purring up a storm, and Dimitri very gingerly cradled her in his arms. 

Slowly, Dimitri said, “Felix, take the cat.”

“Don’t feel like it,” Felix said blandly. 

“Felix - !”

“You’re an adult, hold your own wife.”

“Did you feed her earlier or something?” Ingrid asked, fascinated. “Animals tend to hate you, Dimitri. But she’s so affectionate…”

Exceptionally gentle and slow, Dimitri stroked the cat’s fur backwards. Cat Byleth wriggled happily. “She’s liked me since I met her. If you all have any arguments to address my…thoughts, I would like to hear them.”

Sylvain and Felix looked at each other. They silently battled for their lives. Sylvain silently reminded Felix that he was the one who ruthlessly shut him down last night, and that this might make up for it. Felix silently cursed him out for being right, as usual.

“I have no idea how to say this in a way that doesn’t make me sound as insane as Dimitri,” Felix said bluntly. Better rip off the bandaid. “But Sylvain and I think Dimitri’s right. The cat’s definitely Byleth.”

The girls stared at Felix blankly. Dimitri’s eyebrows skyrocketed upwards. 

“Do you really think so?” Dimitri asked urgently. “Are you certain? What are your deductions?”

“We caught her fishing in Byleth’s fishing spot. She kills like Byleth kills. It’s a…distinctive sort of murder.” Sylvain sighed, running his hands through his hair. “I can’t make it sound good either. It just feels so obvious. Man, I wish Mercedes was here. She’d have insight.”

“All three of you feel certain?” Ingrid asked. All three men nodded with varying levels of enthusiasm. She turned back to the cat, leaning forward and staring intently at it. After a heart-stopping minute, she said, “It would answer some persistent questions. If all of you are certain, I’ll trust you. Annette?”

Annette hummed, tapping her chin. “Magic can’t turn humans into cats. But Lady Byleth is no ordinary human. And…we were playing around with a lot of highly experimental spells yesterday…yeah, this isn’t making me sound great.”

“We all vote that this cat is my wife?” The room nodded as one. Dimitri slumped, tension unwinding from his frame as he exhaled. “Thank the goddess. I was so damn worried…thank the goddess, truly.”

“Was that really the problem here?” Sylvain asked. “Not the wife cat situation?”

Dimitri’s expression tightened unhappily. “I deny it sometimes, Sylvain, but I can tell when my mind is cloudy. Having delusions like this while knowing my mind is clear…it made me doubt a lot of things. I’ve been unsettled all day.”

Damn it. Felix felt horrible. “It’s not on you, Dimitri. I completely shut you down last night. I know you don’t want me humoring you, but I should have heard you out.”

“It’s not your fault,” Dimitri said, absolutely predictably. “I’m hardly a - a reliable source. Really, considering how I betrayed your trust in me as a friend and leader, I couldn’t possibly ask you to trust me at all, let alone in such a ridiculous situation -”

Fantastic, Felix no longer felt bad. “Shut the fuck up, you’re so annoying. Aren’t you done with your apology tour by now?”

Dimitri scowled at him. “I’ll stop apologizing when I stop doing things to apologize for.”

“You never feel guilty for the right thing, you know that?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You two are far too old for this,” Sylvain said severely, and both men shut up. “Felix, save the tough love for when Byleth isn’t a cat. Dimitri, wait until Byleth’s finished being a cat before you start self-flagellating again. Annette, were you really hitting Lady Byleth with random spells yesterday?”

Annette, the true wrong-doer in the situation, abruptly looked a little shifty. “It was scientific experimentation.”

“On the queen of  Faerghus?”

“She said she was bored!”

“So you turned her into a cat?”

“It wasn’t on purpose!” Annette cried. “I was trying to invent a spell to improve eyesight! How was I supposed to know it would turn the queen of  Faerghus into a cat?” She drooped, crushed by the weight of her own sins. “Oh, I never should have tried mixing Reason and Fate theorems into the same proof. This is what happens when we try getting experimental…I’m so sorry, Dimitri. And Byleth.”

“Magic can’t turn people into cats,” Felix hissed. “You’re doing fake magic.”

“It’s not fake if it works! You’re just a classicist.”

“Improvisation magic doesn’t create new theorems, it creates explosions. And cats.”

“Maybe you’re just jealous I managed to turn the Professor into a cat and you couldn’t.”

“I could turn Byleth into a cat if I wanted -”

“If I was literally any other king,” Dimitri ground out, strangled, “and you were any other court magician, you would be fired at best for using the queen as an experimental subject. My grandfather executed court magicians for less.”

Felix straightened, scowling. “Are you threatening my wife -”

“Shut the fuck up for once, Felix!” Sylvain snapped. “You can’t threaten the king!”

“Oh, you’re always taking his side -”

“You’re always making me point out the absolute obvious -”

Dimitri scowled, looking away. “I was the one pointing out the obvious. I wasn’t threatening - that wasn’t the intention, Annette, I just -”

“It’s alright,” Annette said miserably. “You’re right. I got too excited and stopped thinking things through again. I’m a failure as a court magician.”

“You’re the most talented magician I know, Annette,” Dimitri said, all soppy earnest. Ugh. As if he wasn’t totally threatening her a second ago. “You aren’t a failure at all. I admire you greatly.”

“Aw, Dimitri. Thank you -”

“But if you fail in un-catting my wife you are in very serious trouble with the royal family of Fodlan.”

“See!” Felix cried, throwing out a hand. “An obvious threat!”

Cat Byleth meowed disapprovingly. She blinked at them, somehow with great intention. Everybody fell silent in absolute shame and mumbled apologies. Dimitri was a little red.

Finally, Ingrid coughed a little. “I think we can all agree some mistakes have been made tonight.” Everybody looked at the floor. “Let’s just focus on solving the problem. Your Majesty?”

“Right.” Dimitri kissed the top of Cat Byleth’s head, making her mrrp adorably. “Annette, you drop everything you’re doing and fix her as soon as possible.” Annette opened her mouth, ready to argue on behalf of her three other deadlines. She had moaned about the imminent book chapter final submission deadline for a week. “That’s an order. If you miss a deadline then tell them to take it up with me.”

“Yes, Your Majesty. I just hope I can.” Annette picked at the luxurious comforter, desolate. “This happened because I used Faith magic beyond my level of expertise. A novice can tangle a knot in seconds that a master would take hours to fix. I wish Mercedes was here…she knows enough about white and black magic to diagnose the problem immediately.”

“Is she the only Gremory in Fhirdiad?”

“She’s one of seven in Fodlan, and four of them are in Adrestia. Two are in the ex-Alliance. She’s the only Gremory in  Faerghus.” Annette muttered something uncomplimentary about Adrestria hoarding all of the good magicians.

“Then bring Mercedes here. Requisition the Adrestian mages if you have to.”

Sylvain straightened, eyes widening. “She’s over two weeks travel away, Dimitri.”

Dimitri looked back to Annette, who was clearly falling into despair. “Can you fix her yourself, Annette?”

Annette hesitated, biting her lip. “If I study hard, maybe. Or I might turn her into a smaller cat…or I might blow her up…”

“We’re calling in Mercedes. If Byleth is a cat for two weeks, then she’s a cat for two weeks.” Dimitri glanced at Sylvain for the first time, thoughtful. “Ask her to bring Felipe. Might as well make something good out of this. I still haven’t met him yet.” 

“Aaaa,” Sylvain said.

“You haven’t?” Ingrid asked, surprised. “But you gave him that ridiculous birthday gift.”

“There is no point to conquering a country if you can’t give its smaller islands to a baby,” Dimitri said stiffly. “I want to meet him. I also want this problem fixed.” He looked sternly at Annette and Felix, who abruptly both looked at the ceiling. “This was an accident, and accidents happen. I do not intend for anybody to find out about this. I don’t intend on punishing anybody right now. But if the accident is not fixed I will hold the house of Fraldarius responsible. And yes, Felix. That is a threat.”

“That’s fair,” Annette said, desolate beyond what her peppy little heart deserved. “I really am sorry, Your Majesty.”

Dimitri softened, and he held the cat a little closer to his chest. “It’s still Dimitri. Trust me, Annette. This would be an inconsequential matter if it was only myself. But it’s Byleth’s safety that I’m worried about. I have to take that seriously.”

“We all do,” Ingrid said gently. “We’re all just as worried as you, Dimitri. We’ll work together on fixing this. There’s nothing Mercedes can’t do, so we’ll just have to hang on until then.”

Felix was not just as worried as the rest of them. But this was severely not the time or place to say so. He just nodded solemnly with everybody else. 

“And please have somebody keep an eye on her. I don’t want her run over by a carriage or eaten by wolves.” Something disturbing clearly occurred to Dimitri. “Or want kitten children.”

“Ew,” Annette said.

“I’d love them anyway, of course,” Dimitri continued to himself. “But it would still be strange. They couldn’t exactly have a place in the line of succession…but we couldn’t just give them away…”

“What if she was pregnant when she got turned into a cat?” Felix asked, bored. “She could give birth to kittens that are genetically yours.”

“Oh, goddess,” Dimitri said, paling, “she totally could.”

“She could not, I’m obviously fucking with you -”

Sylvain just looked pained. “Felix, please stop teasing Dimitri.”

“But it’s so easy.”

And then they were all off again, and Cat Byleth took a luxurious nap to the sound of her students’ incessant bickering. 

***

Felix had a small secret: he wasn’t really all that worried.

He also wasn’t seventeen anymore, and he now understood that certain sentiments had a certain time and a place. Annette’s well-intentioned carelessness had already put them both in hot water with Dimitri - it would push their luck if Felix was seen acting as if this was a good thing. It was, in fact, somewhat dangerous - Felix had faith in Byleth’s ability to win in a territory fight against another animal, but he didn’t like her odds against a carriage or a monster. But Byleth had survived much less stupid situations than this, and Felix had decided to kick up his heels and relax. This was, after all, a good thing.

It was obvious. Felix would wonder why nobody else saw it, but he knew how oblivious and self-absorbed everybody else was. They were all too wrapped up in their own stress and projecting all of it to realize the straightforward truth. Mercedes would notice, but she was a handy second reason why this was a good thing. She would agree with Felix immediately: that Byleth was honestly living her best life. 

Despite what the overgrown children around him thought, Byleth didn’t actually live to work. Byleth’s ideal day - as recited during a Special Tea Time years ago - consisted of training for a few hours in the morning, fishing for eight hours, eating three giant meals, sitting in companionable silence with Dimitri, and holding a Blue Lions sleepover at night. Three naps had been mandatory: one at ten in the morning, another at two in the afternoon after a big lunch, and another at five in the afternoon after a hard day fishing. 

The woman was the queen of  Faerghus slash Fodlan and had no opportunity to spend all day doing nothing but fish. She was busy every second, and had been for as long as Felix knew her. There was no such thing as a day spent lazing around in Byleth’s world. In a cat’s…

So far as Felix could tell, Cat Byleth did nothing other than hunt, sleep, and cuddle with them. Felix figured that it was actively mean to undo this spell too quickly. He knew better than to vocalize this opinion. Mercedes would agree with him. 

Some people were meant to be born a Lagunz or beastkin or something. This was probably righting a natural order of things. Maybe restoring Byleth to cat-hood would lift the curse on the Fraldarius family bloodline. Which Glenn might have invented to tease him, but it was real, damn it. 

“Look,” Felix told his lovely wife, “I’m just saying. We still don’t know where the hell she came from. It’s not physically possible for a person to develop human emotion after they finished puberty. And Seteth kept saying that Jeralt hadn’t aged a day in twenty years. You know what species ages slowly?”

His lovely wife hadn’t been accommodating. “Goodness, Felix, not another one of your conspiracy theories.”

“Conspiracy theories?” Felix had yelled, throwing up his hands. “What conspiracy theories? You mean my famous conspiracy theory, the one where Dimitri’s -” A violently vengeful murder-happy psycho with severe mental problems, which Felix didn’t feel comfortable saying anymore. He hadn’t vocalized a thirst for murder in more than a year. “ - you know. That one? The true one? The fact?”

“There’s a perfectly good explanation for why Lady Byleth is a freak of nature,” Annette said primly. “She told me herself.”

“Yeah? What was it?”

Annette halted. “Uh. You know, the picture was a little unclear…”

“You know what’s clear as crystal to me?!”

Maybe Annette hadn’t turned Byleth into a cat after all. Maybe she had just disrupted the magic creating a human form. Maybe this was Byleth’s natural state. Strangely, nobody wanted to hear this. 

Regardless, it wasn’t a safe situation. A ten pound apex predator was still ten pounds, and no matter how proficient she was against prey or other cats she wouldn’t match up to a cart or a horse. Dimitri was still unironically fretting about boy cats, and for once his paranoia was disturbingly plausible. The Blue Lions were busy people, but they could keep a 24/7 eye on a cat, right?

Annette tried keeping Cat Byleth locked in her mage’s tower. Cat Byleth escaped twice, knocked over expensive potion ingredients three times, and almost ingested a potion that would not have sat well with a cat’s delicate stomach. At the risk of Dimitri smiting their house with a lightning bolt, Annette was in no position to keep an eye on her.

Neither were the rest of them, who were far too mobile around the castle. Trying to keep her inside their chambers, even Dimitri’s gigantic ones, was hugely unsuccessful - when she wasn’t meowing miserably she was pulling objectively impressive escape attempts. They all silently wished that they had some sort of tactical genius or something around to solve their problems for them. Their two best tacticians were physically and emotionally compromised again. Time to pull in their tied third best tacticians. Or just one of their third best tacticians - Annette had been banned from further ideas, lest she make things worse again. 

“It’s alright,” Sylvain said grimly. “I have an idea.” 

“Oh boy,” Felix said. “I’m looking forward to this one.”

The idea involved a trembling servant boy. Balad was around fourteen years old, and clearly from Duscur - a beneficiary of Dimitri’s affirmative action hiring policies. The castle had a school for servant children and children of servants and everything. Insane quantity of orphans in this castle. Man never stopped projecting.

“This is a cat,” Sylvain told Balad. He passed Cat Byleth to Balad, who accepted her with a trembling sincerity. “This cat is your new job. Do not let her out of your sight. I’ve spoken with the chamberlain, so this is your only job for the next few weeks.” He stared Balad down firmly, who was already staring down his doom into Cat Byleth’s guileless eyes. “This cat’s safety is of paramount importance. Do you understand, Balad? We’ll give you a big reward for looking after her, but if anything happens you’ll get in big trouble.”

Balad stiffened, holding the cat closely to his chest. Byleth liked children, and she immediately began snuggling in Balad’s arms. “Y - yes, my lord! I will put my life on the line!”

“Normally that would be a pretty extreme thing to say,” Felix yawned. “But in this instance…yup.”

Balad looked down at Cat Byleth as if her large eyes held the future. Cat Byleth mrrp’d. 

Felix remembered youth. How unpleasant and depressing youth had been. Everything had been life or death, even the actual life or death bits. There was a reason they’d put an immigrant teenage boy on the job - a knight would have eventually thought to himself, ‘This is just a cat, it’s ridiculous. Surely it can’t be that big of a deal’. But an immigrant teenage boy with his job on the line was probably convinced his life was on the line, and he would apply himself to the task with attentiveness five times greater than a knight could hope to reach. Felix and Sylvain knew this intimately - it was straight out of the Professor’s playbook.

Still, you had to miss the unique adventures that only a fourteen year old could have. Felix was a boring adult and wasn’t privy to a single one, but he occasionally held the privilege of catching glimpses out of whatever stupid shit poor Balad was dealing with that day. 

Over the next two weeks, Felix saw: Balad hanging upside down from the rafters, Cat Byleth precariously held in his arms. Balad bravely rescuing Cat Byleth from the overly affectionate arms of a small gaggle of five year old girls. Balad in the cathedral, teaching Cat Byleth Duscurian prayer rituals. And, obviously, chasing after her as she ran through the kitchen and got paw prints in the flour. 

Felix had the privilege of interrupting that one. He was passing by the kitchen as he heard a great commotion and sequence of crashes, and after a few seconds of exhausted deliberation he figured that he ought to do something about it. Felix looped around until he stood in front of the double entry doors in the staff mess area, crossing his arms and waiting patiently.

His patience bore fruit only a minute later. The doors blew open as a cat rushed out at breakneck speed, and Felix silently squatted down and grabbed the cat out of midair. Felix held her by the stomach with both hands and held her up for scrutiny, letting her dangle in the air. She was covered in tomato sauce, flour, and flecks of spinach.

“Having fun?” 

Cat Byleth meowed. She was having the time of her fucking life.

Balad burst through the doors at a dead run only a few seconds after her, and by the time he saw Felix it was too late. Felix, prepared for this, steadied himself and held Cat Byleth out of the way just as Balad collided in a crash-course into Felix, falling back onto his ass as Felix swayed with the motion. 

Balad groaned, rubbing his head and cursing people who stood around useless in halls under his breath. He opened his eyes and witnessed the person standing uselessly in a hall, eyes traveling slowly upwards as he saw Felix holding Cat Byleth and looking down at him with an arched eyebrow. 

Slowly, Felix said, “Missing something?”

“Aaaa,” Balad said.

Felix sighed, holding Cat Byleth up until they made eye contact. He shook her lightly. She swayed happily with the motion. “I’m happy you’re having fun. Really. But do you have to torment serving boys like this?” Cat Byleth meowed happily. “Can’t fault you for honesty, I suppose.”

“I didn’t lose her!” Balad scrambled upwards, panting for breath. There was a clump of dough in his hair, and one of his shoes was lost. “She just - um - I’m sorry, Lord Fraldarius, I swear I had my eyes on her!”

“I believe you,” Felix said, amused. The kid’s determination was beyond admirable. “This one enjoys challenging young people. She thinks it builds character.” He returned Cat Byleth to Balad, who took her with a practiced ease and allowed her to curl up in his arms. “I hope she hasn’t pushed you beyond your limits.”

Balad shook his head fervently, hoisting Byleth in his arms. “This is just practice for knighthood!” Oh, no. This was adorable. “A knight of  Faerghus protects the whole continent - and there’s no creature too small for the first Duscurian Knight to protect, I think - so Eisner’s just good practice!”

Felix’s eyebrows jumped up. “Eisner? As in the queen?”

Far too late, Balad’s eyes widened. Had he overheard them speaking? Serving boys knew when and where to gossip - had he told anybody? “Oh, I’m - I’m sorry, my lord! I apologize! It’s just that - well, it’s just that Eisner really reminds me of Her Grace. Something in her eyes…it’s ordinary to name cats after people you admire in Duscur, my lord, but if it’s disrespectful in  Faerghus - oh, I bet it is disrespectful in  Faerghus -”

“I think Her Grace would be flattered,” Felix said. Balad, who had already begun working himself up into an anxious spiral, abruptly deflated. “The first Duscurian Knight?”

Balad blushed a little, bouncing Cat Byleth and looking at the ground. “Don’t pay that any mind, my lord. Ever since His Majesty made new laws saying foreigners could be knights…no dream comes true if you sit around hoping for it, right? I don’t know a sword, but even I can practice being virtuous…but please pay that no mind, my lord.”

Wow. No wonder Cat Byleth was giving him a hard time.

Felix leaned down, making a show of tilting his ear towards Cat Byleth. “What was that?” Cat Byleth purred. “I see. You’re absolutely sure?” Cat Byleth yawned. “I couldn’t agree more.” Felix straightened, clasping his hands beyond his back and looking seriously down at Balad. “Eisner has spoken. She really thinks you’re Blue Lion material.”

Balad’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates. “The Blue Lions? Like - like your elite front line combat squadron? The revolutionary heroes?”

“We were students at Garreg Mach first.” Felix propped a hand on his hip, and he allowed himself a half-smile. “The Knight Captain of the Imperial Guard started out as a rebellious student with a dream. And the Royal Spymaster began as a commoner who used the skills he learned on the street to become a hero. They didn’t have anything you don’t have. If you train hard enough, you can protect what’s important to you. That’s all there is to being a Blue Lion. Even a cat knows that.”

Young kids like Balad didn’t associate the Blue Lions with Garreg Mach anymore. Yuri had already begun planning the major changes he’d make to the Academy once Seteth officially let go of the reins of the school and officially transitioned into his new role as Archbishop, and after some requests from Dimitri and Byleth he grew confident enough to start planning the complete overhaul. Yuri had been the first of anybody to see it, but it was Dimitri and Byleth who told everybody else - that there was no unity and cohesion among the continent when the houses grouped into national insularity. And murdered each other later. That put a damper on school spirit.

When something as awful as the Blue Lions could happen - when an institution could produce students who trusted nobody but their own neighbors, who isolated themselves so thoroughly that they could grow up and slaughter their classmates without a second thought. When the Golden Deer and Black Eagles could do the same. In some ways, Byleth Eisner was the greatest and final failure of Garreg Mach.

Besides. They didn’t really have three countries anymore. There was that little detail. 

The four new houses held students from all over the continent. Students from Faerghus, the ex-Alliance territories, and the Territory of Adrestria attended the same houses and mingled in the same classes. There were reserved spots for exchange students from Brigid, Almyra, and even Sreng. A new definition of unity, to be sure, but they could only hope it would be a little more effective. Time would tell.

Poor Balad’s eyes were as big as dinner plates. Felix really hoped that the kid wouldn’t internalize these words or something. He was just saying shit. “Wow. Thank you, Lord Fraldarius.” He held Cat Byleth up to eye level, and he smiled for the first time. “What do you think, Eisner? Want to teach me how to be a Blue Lion?”

Cat Byleth meowed. 

Balad grinned, and in an unselfconscious burst of joy he nuzzled her sticky forehead. “I knew I could count on you. The god of trials must have sent you to me.”

Fantastic back-handed compliment. Felix would have to remember that one. “Hey, kid. Do you know any Duscur curse words? Lord Dedue and Lady Mercedes refuse to teach me any -”

With impeccable timing, Cat Byleth jumped out of Balad’s arms and began sprinting down the hall. Balad cried in dismay, and with less than a second’s hesitation he set out after her in a dead run. 

“Wait!” Balad called. “You need a bath, Eisner!”

Cat Byleth’s run turned into a sprint.

Felix watched them go, hands in his pockets. He had always wondered if Lady Byleth would ever take on another group of students. Queens had better things to do, and the continent probably couldn’t handle another year of her teaching style, so Felix had given up and decided it was for the best.

If this was her way of collecting more students, then a retired life was definitely for the best. 

Oh, well. Definitely Sylvain’s problem. 

***

Two and a half weeks after Her Grace Byleth Eisner Blaiddyd’s Great Catting, Mercedes and Felipe Gautier and Dedue Molinaro arrived at the castle. Happy as he was to see his family, these events were definitely Sylvain’s problem.

Hosting visitors as nobility was a huge production, and as usual royalty was twice as bad. They dressed up Mercedes’ visit as just a wife visiting her husband, backflipping out of making it a big thing, but Mercedes’ carriage still pulled up to the outside of the castle and met a giant team of servants, staff, and the Blue Lions themselves. 

Sylvain, standing next to Felix with his hands folded behind his back, was tapping his foot. Then looking at the carriage advancing on them, then checking his watch. Then running his hand through his hair. Then looking at the carriage again.

Felix elbowed him. Sylvain elbowed him back. Felix elbowed him again, harder.

“It’s fine.” Sylvain had a wonderful habit of manifesting his reality. It was the confidence. “I’m excited to see them. It’s great. What if he doesn’t like me?”

  “Dedue? If he was going to stop liking you, it would have happened after the second mock-battle dorm party.”

They both knew that Felix knew who Sylvain was actually talking about, so Sylvain ignored him. “I mean, how hard can it be to win over a baby? You just give them toys, right? What if he likes me too much, and gets upset when I’m not there? Is this a no-win situation?” 

“I think this has been a no-win situation for a while,” Felix said, maybe tactfully. 

According to the professor, in a no-win scenario you shifted your goals from victory towards survival. You stop trying to maximize ground or fortresses captured and start focusing on pulling back and saving fats from the fire. You couldn’t stop the blow, so you just protected yourself against it. It was a strategy Sylvain had understood perfectly well - it was the strategy Sylvain used to live his life, and it always had been. Babies included.

Sylvain’s face twisted, but if he had anything smart to say he didn’t get the chance. The carriage came to a full halt, and the small flight of footmen opened the door and helped the noble lady descend the stairs. 

It was Mercedes, baby strapped to her back and smiling widely at them, and Sylvain lost all sense of propriety.

He lurched forward, pushing through the crowd and flying down the castle steps. He was supposed to wait for Dimitri to greet her, for some sort of official reception - but the same Sylvain who fretted for days over her arrival couldn’t wait one more second. Mercedes’ smile turned into a grin, and when Sylvain wrapped her in a hug she eagerly reciprocated. They stood there together, clinging onto each other, for the scarce few seconds Mercedes and Sylvain would ever allow themselves, before separating.

Miracle of miracles, Mercedes even unfolded Felipe from her back and balanced him on her hip. Whoah. He had gotten huge. Felipe sucked on a fist, watching the proceedings with wide eyes, and Sylvain bent over him for a few seconds. Mercedes and Sylvain’s body blocked Felix’s view, and whatever look may have been on Sylvain’s face or how Felipe may have reacted was lost to all but the two of them.

Then Dedue stepped out, as hulking and stone-faced as always. He looked good, tanned and relaxed. He was dressed in the clothing of his homeland - an interesting bit of political messaging. Felix glanced to his right, and completely predictably saw Dimitri grinning widely. He was clearly about two seconds from running up and hugging him too. Great. 

It wasn’t that Felix had a problem with Dedue. His personality was completely inoffensive, which wasn’t something you could say about Felix. As a comrade on the field, he was second-to-none. And he was a Blue Lion - ‘nuff said. Felix would die for the guy, the guy would die for him, etc. 

But Felix really didn’t think he was a good friend. Nobody who saw Dimitri suffer like that for years and helped him grow worse was anything resembling a good friend. Maybe if he saw Dimitri during those five years and fucking hand-fed him like the rest of them he would have realized the impact of the choices he’d made, but the guy had been a little busy living in hiding after he sacrificed his life for Dimitri’s. Which was why it was a little hard to hate him. Ugh. Felix was so brave for not picking a fight about this. 

“Lady Gautier!” Dimitri called, his usually monotone voice tinged with an emotion that made it seem positively jovial. “Lord Molinaro! Well met! I trust your trip was uneventful?”

Mercedes curtseyed, in an impressive balancing act with the baby in her arm. “Greetings from House Gautier to His Majesty. We’re happy to answer His Majesty’s summons. Our trip was delightful.”

Dedue bowed, stiff as ever. “I am honored by the invitation, Your Majesty. Blessings from Duscur unto  Faerghus.”

“Good! The servants will set you up. Now, for the most important business.” Dimitri stepped forward, descending the steps, and Mercedes and Dedue walked up to meet him. Sylvain hastily followed, hovering at Mercedes’ elbow.

Dimitri clasped Dedue’s hand, hugging him fiercely. Said a lot about Dedue’s sheer bulk that he handled a hug from Dimitri so tightly, but Felix knew Dedue gripped onto him just as tightly. They embraced closer than any lord and vassal ever would, probably more than two friends might, and they hung onto each other for just a little bit longer. 

They separated, Dimitri’s eye bright, and he clasped Dedue’s arm a final time. “You look well.” 

“I am, Your Majesty.”

“I was surprised that you elected to join Mercedes. Last time I checked the orphanage and school needed constant supervision.” 

“I am pleased to say that they have grown stable. We left them in the capable hands of our staff. Viscount Meroe asked me to approach you regarding several matters.”

‘Ownership’ of Duscur had been neatly stripped from Viscount Kleiman and given to the elected leader of the surviving Duscuran people, who quickly re-assembled a stripped-down version of their old government. The woman was pants-shittingly terrifying and Felix had to fight the urge to give her whatever she wanted just to make her go away each time she showed up. Dedue was highly placed in their new government, but his primary role was as a link between Duscur and the king. He seemed happiest co-leading the orphanage and school with Mercedes, but the guy was the type to put duty before pleasure.

“I’ll have my secretary contact you and we can have a long conversation.” Dimitri gave him a final clap on the shoulder before turning to Mercedes and Sylvain, smile brightening. “Now! Most importantly! Do I finally have the honor of meeting the heir of House Gautier?”

Mercedes giggled, approaching Dimitri and presenting Felipe with faux-ceremony. “The honor is ours. Your Majesty, I’d like to present the young lord Felipe Emilie Gautier. Felipe, this is Uncle Dimitri. Say hello, Felipe!”

Felipe sucked on a knuckle. The kid had been pretty squishy and raisin-like when Felix first saw him, but even Felix had to admit now that he was an objectively beautiful, adorable child. It was the fantastic genes. Kid could have walked out of a painting. One of the twee ones. 

“Bah bah?” Felipe asked the king of the continent. 

“This is the perfect child,” the king of the continent decided.

Mercedes laughed, bouncing Felipe lightly on her hip. “You flatter us, Your Majesty. He’s certainly perfect to us.”

“I think it’s objective,” Dimitri said, almost heated. Ingrid, standing on the other end of the courtyard from Felix, made an exhausted face at Felix. Felix mimed shooting himself with his fingers. Annette had the right idea preparing their surprise cake in the kitchen. “I can’t believe I never met him before. He’s adorable, you two! He’s chubby! And look at his hair! He seems so soft!”

“Burble burble wah,” Felipe asserted.

“When is his next birthday?” Dimitri demanded. “A month? Can he have it here? How long do you think it’ll take before he can call me Uncle Dimitri?”

“Certainly not for a while,” Sylvain said, exasperated. Mercedes was outright laughing now. Dedue was hiding a smile behind a hand. “Do you want to hold hi -”

“Absolutely not. But come inside, he must be tired. You all must be tired. The servants told me we have baby accouterments for guests, but let the chamberlain know if you need anything and we’ll have it brought right away.” Abruptly, almost stressed, Dimtiri said, “Can he understand what I’m saying yet? What is his level of linguistic proficiency?”

Dedue sighed, badly fighting a smile. “Not much, but sometimes he surprises you. I believe he understands Duscuran better than the language of Fodlan.” Sylvain’s eyebrows rocketed upwards, and Dedue nodded in half-apology. “Mercedes and I try to speak Adrestian to him at home, but because he lives in Duscur I believe he’s more comfortable with our language.”

“He’s multicultural,” Dimitri whispered.

“Ah,” Sylvain said. “I didn’t - really think about that.”

Dimitri said something very seriously to Felipe in Duscuran. 

“Wah wah wah,” Felipe agreed.

“Did he understand that?!”

“Can we please go inside,” Felix said. “Please.”

***

Balad sat in front of the high nobility of  Faerghus, quaking in his boots and holding a cat. 

He was sat on a stool at Annette’s workbench, tasked with the vital job of keeping Cat Byleth still while Mercedes carefully inspected her. The child was not coping well with almost the entire assembled original Blue Lions in front of him, but he was keeping a stiff upper lip about the matter. He seemed to have decided that, so long as he didn’t say a single word, they couldn’t chop his head off. Bizarrely, Balad sat closest to Felix and made sad eyes at him when he tried to get up and leave. 

Mercedes hummed, finally closing out the diagnostic spells. She had been scrutinizing the cat for a solid ten minutes, which was longer than it took her to identify most poisons. She leaned back on her stool, exhaling heavily.

“I’m glad you waited for me to arrive, Annie.” The words were completely innocuous. Annette’s face fell. Everybody hissed. “Don’t worry, the magic isn’t dangerous. It’s just a little tricky. If you give me a day to write the counter-spell, I can have her all fixed up in half an hour.”

Dimitri brightened. He was sitting next to Balad, giving the boy a constant low-level heart attack. “Really? You’re a lifesaver, Mercedes!”

“I wouldn’t say that,” the woman who single handedly prevented five plague outbreaks and significantly contributed to ending a war said. “And please don’t be too hard on yourself over this, Annie. Every great inventor blows up a few labs here and there! Why, just the other day, Coco wrote to tell me how the entire kitchen was -” “We really let those rat people teach the future leaders of Fodlan, huh?” Felix muttered. 

Sylvain arched an eyebrow at him. “I think it was a great idea. You couldn’t find a group of people more dedicated to Garreg Mach. Or a more neutral party.”

“Yeah,” Felix panned, “they hate all of Fodlan equally.”

“You’re one to talk.”

“Thank the Goddess,” Annette sighed. Poor woman was exhausted - Felix had barely seen her the last two weeks. “I’m never getting experimental again. It’s just not worth all the stress.” She paused a second in thought before adding, “Of course, this was a practically unprecedented spell. Faith/Reason magic is a highly under-studied field. If I could recreate it, maybe I could publish a paper on -”

“No!” Everyone shouted in unison.

Everybody but Felix, who just yawned. “Beat you to it. Wrote a thesis on transformation magic for extra credit near the end of school. Lady Byleth gave me a new sword as a reward.”

“Damn it, Felix! Why are you always trying to one-up me?”

“I don’t have to try.”

Annette looked at Ingrid, who leaned against a spare workbench next to him. “I forgot how she used to give us new weaponry if we learned a subject well. I thought good grades were good enough for most students…”

“Did any of us really care about grades by the end of it?” Ingrid asked wryly. “The closest Lady Byleth could get to educating Dimitri was locking him in the classroom with us and seeing how long he could last before he started pacing around the room.”

Dedue said something sternly to Balad in their language, making Balad pale and stutter something back. Ingrid abruptly remembered that little pitchers had big ears and shut up, a little embarrassed. 

But Dimitri just smiled at Balad and said something to him in perfect Duscuran. The kid stuttered something out too, but at a little more gentle prodding he began opening up. Dimitri pointed at Cat Byleth, who was napping peacefully in Balad’s arms, and Balad lifted her up and excitedly began chattering. Felix recognized that face by now - she had done something freakishly intelligent and Balad was very proud of her for it. Dimitri nodded, attention rapt.

Finally, when Balad sheepishly wrapped up his story, Dimitri switched back to their native language. “Regardless, I understand Sylvain promised you a good reward for your hard work. What would you like? You’ve done a fine job, so don’t be modest.”

“Oh. Um.” Balad scratched Cat Byleth’s ruff, looking down. “Does Eisner have an owner?”

Immediately, Dimitri said, “Not at all. She’s a free spirit.”

“She owns us, really,” Felix said.

“It’s an equal partnership, Felix!”

“Uh huh.”

“She’s a cat,” Ingrid said flatly. “She owns the castle.” Felix opened his mouth. “More so than usual.”

“Then…if it’s possible…” Balad flushed, but Felix saw him visibly screw up his courage. “...could I keep her?”

The entire assembled original Blue Lions stared at Balad.

He flushed deeper, but he held his ground. “I’d take really good care of her! It’s dangerous to be a stray cat, you know. There’s fleas and kitty gang fights. I’ve seen them myself. I think she’s gotten attached to me, too…maybe? It’s hard to tell with cats…but I really would be a good owner.” Balad turned up big cow eyes at Dimitri, who kept his now-usual poker face. “So…that’s the reward I’d ask for, Your Majesty.”

A long silence stretched across the room.

Dedue pinched the bridge of his nose, hard. He said something to Balad - something which probably wasn’t hostile or harsh, but was definitely unhappy. Balad paled. Dimitri quickly said something back to Dedue, with an intonation that sounded heavily like ‘don’t give him a hard time’. Dedue said something back, a little harder. 

Then Mercedes broke into laughter, and the spell was lifted. Every Blue Lion started wheezing. Mercedes buried her head in her hands, shoulders shaking with laughter, and Sylvain was almost bent over in cackles. Annette was trying valiantly to keep a straight face, but her complexion almost turned red with the effort before she gave up and started snickering. Ingrid’s face was buried in her hands, wheezing. Felix smiled. 

In Adrestian, Dedue said, “It’s not funny.”

“Man,” Sylvain wheezed, “it’s so fucking funny.”

“It’s disrespectful.” Poor Balad paled considerably. “As a representative of our people, it is -”

“A misunderstanding,” Felix said, and he was surprised by the firmness of his tone. “He’s not representing your people, he’s fourteen. Trust me, anybody who wants to stick around that shithead cat is a saint.” 

“Felix!” Dimitri’s eyebrow twitched, scandalized. “Don’t call her a shithead!”

“Why not? She calls me a shithead.”

“Yes, but you don’t have the excuse of being a cat.”

Mercedes giggled again. “Aren’t cats sacred in Duscur? What’s more respectful than that?” 

Dedue sighed, still kneading his forehead, but for the first time his lip quirked upwards in a smile. “By that logic, I suppose a servant from Duscur was the best choice in the castle.”

The corner of Dimitri’s lip curled too, a subtle match for Dedue. “You can admit you find it funny too, Dedue.”

“I don't know what you're talking about, Your Majesty.” 

“She wouldn’t mind.”

“She better not,” Felix said flatly. “This is her fault too. A mage should know better than to use experimental magic on themselves. Her magic’s unique, anyway - no wonder something this bizarre happened.” Something troubling occurred to Felix. “Maybe cats are sacred in Fodlan too…”

Mercedes straightened, eyes widening. “Felix, you’re right! This wouldn’t have happened without Her Grace’s sacred magical energy.” Yeah, because humans can’t turn into cats. “Maybe the Goddess is…oh, wouldn’t that be interesting? I have to tell Yuri.” 

Ingrid hummed thoughtfully. “That would explain all of the stray cats at the monastery.” 

“Sure,” Sylvain said flatly, “let’s incorporate this into our worldview. The Goddess is also a Goddess of cats. If we decide it’s true then it has to be. That’s how religion works.”

Annette shrugged helplessly. “If anybody gets to decide how religion works, isn’t it the vessel of the Goddess?”

“We’ll have to ask her later.” Dimitri looked down at the sleeping cat in Balad’s arms, eye softening. “Thank you for your hard work Mercedes. Knowing this ordeal will be over tomorrow is a fantastic relief. Perhaps we can enjoy a small break in the meantime.” Dimitri half-smiled, crooked and stiff. “So many of us Blue Lions are here. That hardly happens every day. I’ve already arranged for a large feast tonight, with Dedue and Mercy’s favorites - why don’t we take some time off and schedule an activity for the day after tomorrow? After Byleth is cured.” 

Ingrid brightened. “I could take a half-day. How about a picnic, Your Majesty?”

Dimitri’s eye crinkled. “Byleth would like that. I’m certain we could put something together. One second.” Dimitri looked to the right, at the stone wall. “Please, I’m in a meeting. You have to quiet down. I don’t know where your knife is.” He turned back to Sylvain. “I apologize for the interruption. What were we talking about?”

“Ingrid suggested we go on a picnic tomorrow, Your Majesty.”

Dimitri looked at the right wall again, brow furrowed, and didn’t say anything. 

“Your Majesty,” Dedue said, even and steadfast, “are you with us?”

Something was louder than Dedue, and Dimitri’s attention was caught. Sylvain and Felix exchanged glances, thinking the same thing in unison. Downplaying Dimitri’s condition was no longer a matter of the war effort, and most of the castle was aware that the king had a chronic illness that left him spacey and moody, but it was best that the servants outside of Dimitri’s inner circle of servants saw as little of it as possible. 

But Balad moved before either of them. Cat Byleth had woken up, paw batting in Dimitri’s direction, and Balad was carefully moving Cat Byleth from his lap to Dimitri’s. Cat Byleth eagerly slithered down from Balad’s grip into Dimitri’s lap, and she began pawing at Dimitri’s shirt immediately. 

An old, ugly memory flashed in Felix’s mind - the Professor crying out in pain as a rabid Dimitri grabbed her arm, wanting to feel angry but fighting an overwhelming crush of fear instead - and he found himself starting forwards too. 

But when Dimitri began absently petting Cat Byleth his touch was gentle, and his expression focused after only a few seconds of cuddling with her. He blinked hard, scratching Cat Byleth on the ruff, before looking back at the Blue Lions.

“Sorry, I must have dozed off.” Did he think that or was he instinctively trying to cover? It was always hard to tell. “I ought to…”

And, as always, Sylvain was right there in front of him. Already handling it all. “Rest? Of course, Your Majesty.” Sylvain quickly scooped Cat Byleth up from Dimitri’s lap, making her meow in protest, and deposited her back in Balad’s hastily outstretched arms. “The serving boy will entertain and play with Her Grace while you take it easy. Why don’t you take a nap or something and we’ll call you when the feast is ready?”

Dimitri scowled, but he allowed Sylvain to pull him up. “I’m perfectly fine, Sylvain.”

No doubt, but that wasn’t the point. Felix crossed his arms. “How much sleep did you get last night?” Dimitri looked at the ceiling. “Uh huh. If you want to be mentally present tomorrow instead of spacing out all the time, then you should get some rest.”

“Yes, yes.” Dimitri sighed, waving a hand. “You’re forbidden from working tomorrow, Sylvain. Spend the time with your family.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“How exciting,” Mercedes said, clapping her hands and smiling. “I’m going to make a nice big cake for the picnic tomorrow.” Sylvain raised an eyebrow. “Yes, yes, after I fix Lady Byleth. Annie, are you thinking orange or lemon?”

“Can Dedue make something?” Annette burst out. “It’s been forever since I’ve had his cooking!”

Dedue sighed, smiling. “Of course. I was already planning the menu.”

Ingrid thrust her hand in the air. “That honey pastry, please! Double servings!”

“Mercedes has grown adept at making that dish as well.”

“Then you’ll both have to make some,” Sylvain decided. “So we can see whose is better, of course.”

“Oh, darling, there’s no need to grow competitive. Dedue’s the best cook I’ve ever known.” Mercedes paused an ominous beat. “But baking and cooking are two very different skills.”

“You do not know what you have walked into,” Dedue told Sylvain. Felix trusted him - Mercedes had a crazy glint in her eye. “Our culinary battle has grown fierce in the last few months.”

“Stir-crazy?” Sylvain asked sympathetically.

“Blame the infant.”

“Yikes,” Sylvain said, about his own infant. 

“That explains some things,” Dimitri said, clearly impressed despite himself. “After too long locked in a house with me, Mercedes would grow  - if you excuse the pejorative term, Lady Byleth - somewhat…catty at the markets?”

“You’re misremembering, Your Majesty,” Mercedes said beneficently. “That never happened.”

“I - ah, if you say so, perhaps…”

“That’s not ethical, Mercie,” Annette said.

“Oh? Does it turn Dimitri into a cat too?”

“That was almost three weeks ago!” Annette cried, throwing her hands up. “Why aren’t we over this yet? Are you going to bring it up forever?”

Sylvain pinched the bridge of his nose. “She is still a cat, Annie.”

“I knew it,” Balad whispered. 

***

Cat and baby faced each other across the field of battle.

Baby lay on his stomach, pushed upright on his two hands and gawking at his adversary. He reached out a hand, testing the reach of his weapon. 

The cat sat on her haunches, surveying the position of her enemy. She swiveled her head to stare at the neutral parties lying on their stomachs a few feet away watching them. She requested additional information from their scouts. The neutral parties shook their heads regretfully. This battlefield was her own.

The baby made the first move. He crawled forward, advancing on the cat’s captured territory (her side of the rug). In a shocking move, the baby babbled a long, incoherent stream of noise. The tone sounded friendly - was it a request for parley? Or was it a vow of battle? When the only language the two parties held in common was the language of death, perhaps all attempts at negotiation would be futile.

The cat uncurled, stretching forward and sniffing the baby hesitantly. Cautious as always, the cat was taking the time to gain a sense of the enemy’s strength. Or was it a tentative reciprocation of the baby’s gesture for peace? Was it possible for this fight to end without bloodshed? Would the sun set on a green and pristine field today, unmarred by splatters of blood? Was such a thing even imaginable?

Then, in the midst of negotiations, the baby struck. He reached out a chubby fist and grabbed the cat’s fluffy midnight blue fur. First blood went to him. War had begun. 

The cat’s counter-strike was instant. She batted at his hand, a light knock that was somehow reminiscent of hitting a student on the head with a wooden training sword. The baby felt the attack acutely, and withdrew his hand. The neutral parties readied themselves for a war cry of the wounded, but the baby only babbled at the cat again. This one was almost…recriminatory. Fascinating.

“Is he scolding her?” Felix asked.

“I thought she was scolding him,” Sylvain said. “Her claws aren’t out, right? She’s not going to scratch him? Maybe we should break this up.”

“Are you kidding? This is the funniest thing that’s happened to me in the last six months.”

The cat slunk forward - pressing her advantage, delivering a follow-up strike? The baby thrust out another hand, but it didn’t seem like an attack - more of a simple reach, almost an ache. The cat batted at his hand anyway. 

The baby stuck out his hand. The cat batted it away. 

The baby giggled. 

Sylvain groaned, covering his eyes with his hands. “Dimitri was right. He’s the cutest baby. I can’t believe it. It’s like he knows he’s adorable! He targets his cuteness whenever he wants something!”

Felix did not state the obvious. It hung loudly in the air between them.

“Shut up. It’s because he’s smart. Way smarter than me, probably. Did you know he started standing at only eight months? Apparently that’s really early. He has these little Duscuran picture books - apparently he loves them, do you think he’s going to become a big reader? - and when he wants Dedue to read them to him, he crawls over and starts trying to get the books from the bin himself. He fell into the bin that way! Isn’t that cute or what?”

The genius of the century crawled closer towards probably the smartest cat in Fodlan. With a great and terrible ceremony, the baby reached out and gently patted the cat’s fur. More like smacked, honestly, but the cat seemed to understand the intent. 

“He didn’t cry when he saw me.” There was something so awful and fragile on Sylvain’s face, too close to breaking to ever be called happiness. “I was terrified of that happening. I couldn’t stop imagining it. But he saw me, and he - he just looked curious, you know? Mercie says he’s a real curious kid. Always getting into stuff. Apparently every stranger is just a friend he hasn’t met yet! Can you believe it? He’s going to be a handful when he starts running around.”

Felix hummed, propping his chin on his hands. “Why are you so surprised that he’s a great kid? Did you think he’d be a terror?”

“I knew he’d be great,” Sylvain said, instantly defensive. “I just - I just didn’t realize I’d get so excited about it. I didn’t think it would make me feel this way. I thought I’d be immune or something.”

“To loving your own kid?”

“Do I love him?” 

Felix turned to look at Sylvain for the first time, incredulous. “Am I the person to ask about that?”

But Sylvain just shrugged, and for the first time Felix saw the strange shadow of desperation over his expression. “You’re always noticing things nobody else does, Felix. Do you think I love him?”

It was, obviously, a question Sylvain couldn’t answer on his own. The kid had arrived at the castle yesterday, and Sylvain had spent every second since then either hiding from him on the other side of the castle or glued to his side. At this moment, Annette and Mercedes were locked up in the magician’s tower writing the anti-cat counter-spell. For the first time in the little guy’s entire lifespan, Sylvain was babysitting. Normally Felix would say parenting, but he wasn’t certain this counted as parenting. How the hell was he supposed to know. 

Sylvain seemed acutely aware that he was babysitting instead of parenting. Say what you will about Sylvain, he wasn’t in denial about much. He tended to just ignore the feelings he didn’t like. Sylvain clutched onto his resentment with both hands, but Felix suspected that the emotion ran deeper and stronger than even Sylvain was aware of.

“I can’t answer that question for you.” It was the most obvious sentence in the world, but Sylvain sagged anyway. “Is it even important, anyway? The only thing that matters is your actions.”

Wryly, Sylvain said, “And as we’ve well established, my actions are shit.” He looked back at Felipe, who was heroically bridging the gap between their two factions. Cat Byleth was sniffing him curiously as he made cooing noises at her. “I thought I wouldn’t be capable of even liking him. Because - I thought my mind was too full up wondering how old I was when my mother sold me off.”

Cat Byleth rubbed Felipe’s face with her nose. Felipe laughed, tickled by the movement. 

“It was probably five months, right?” There was a bizarre edge of desperation to Sylvain’s voice, poisoned by time. “That’s when most noble babies get tested for their crest. But it’s a pretty expensive test - maybe she had to save up? Or did she tell my father about me soon after I was born, and did he pay for it? How much was she even paid, anyway?” Sylvain took a deep breath, and he was clearly surprised when it shuddered. “I couldn’t have been a good kid. I must have really been awful. I always figured that. But Felipe’s a good kid. So now I’m wondering - Felix, you know, I’m just kind of wondering if -”

Sylvain dropped his head, resting his forehead on the carpet, and breathed. Felix silently lay next to him. He watched Cat Byleth cuddle up around the baby, lying half on top of him with a paw stretched over his chest. Felipe was clearly already growing sleepy. Comfortable, safe, and warm - emotions only Byleth could make children feel. Only Byleth and mothers. 

Even in those dark days, as evil surrounded them and their leader lost his sanity. When Byleth stoked a fire in their classroom’s hearth and they spread their cots around the flames, Felix had felt warm. When they had stayed up late into the night talking and exchanging secrets, Felix had felt safe. As the wind whistled outside of the impenetrable stone walls, Annette’s head pillowed on his chest or Sylvain’s leg entwined with his - even Felix had felt comfortable. Even in those horrible days…

Felix didn’t say anything. He wasn’t Byleth. He didn’t understand, and he never could. Felix was the loved product of a loving couple. Losing Mother had felt like the Goddess reached into his chest and ripped his heart out. It wasn’t a wound he was born with. He had no wisdom or insight for this. In the end, Felix could only say the truth.

“You could ask her, you know. She’s probably still alive.”

Sylvain lifted his head, exhaling heavily. He rested his chin on the heel of his hand, watching the baby slowly lull himself to sleep. “Nah. It’s alright. That’s not really the point, you know?” Despite everything, Felix did know. Sylvain could see that. “Man. Remember the literal nightmares I used to have as a kid about getting babytrapped?”

Felix grimaced. “I remember when you woke me up asking if we had a kid.”

Sylvain ignored him, as he often did. “In my nightmares, I was always so disgusted looking at that baby. Holding it would make my skin crawl. But I don’t feel that at all looking at him now. Do you think it’s because he’s Mercie’s?”

“Who knows.” Felix had the feeling it was more because Felipe was the product of that loving and happy union, but this wasn’t his business. “So are you over your babyphobia now? Ready to be a dad?” Sylvain flinched hard. “That answers that question.”

Felipe’s little hands kneaded Byleth’s coat in his sleep. Byleth blinked slowly and sleepily - refusing to sleep while there was a child to watch out for. 

“I still get so uncomfortable just looking at him.” Despite his words, Sylvain didn’t look away from Cat Byleth and Felipe. “I can’t help it. That disgust…it’s not just the stuff of nightmares, Felix. I do feel it. I just didn’t know I would be disgusted with myself.”

“You know the best way to fix that, right?” Felix raised an eyebrow, and Sylvain awkwardly looked away from him. “Cowardice? In a Blue Lion? In front of Lady Byleth herself?”

Lady Byleth meowed. They both ignored her. 

“There’s never a reason to be afraid. Not so long as we’re here.” Felix reached out and gently elbowed Sylvain, hoping his elbows were as bony as his compatriots’. “Rule Three. Whatever help you need, we’ll give it. None of us fight alone. Felipe’ll have all of us. That simple enough for you?”

Sylvain sighed. “Knew I’d finally get you to say something useful.” He dodged Felix’s mock swing. “I know it, alright? Trust me, I’m already grateful. Dedue’s putting a lot of work into raising him too. I’m glad he has a male figure around.” Felix tsk’d. “Saints, you still don’t like Dedue?”

“He’s always been bad for Dimitri.” Sylvain opened his mouth, and Felix waved him off. “But Dimitri’s worse off without him, so I’ll deal. At least now we know Dimitri definitely wants kids. Not that we needed the confirmation.”

“He’s had their names picked out since he was seventeen,” Sylvain said, dead-eyed. Goddess, the guy was so fucking cringe. His daydreams about the Dimitri-Byleth idyllic perfect children were well-entrenched. But Sylvain hesitated a beat anyway, and Felix found himself sobering too. “If I tell you something, will you - uh, not tell anybody I said it?”

“I’ll do my best,” Felix panned, “but I don’t know how we’ll stop Felipe from tattling.”

“Very funny.” Sylvain picked at a cuticle, expression tight. After a few long moments, he finally said, “Do you think Dimitri’s really fit to be a parent?”

That was a question worth its weight in gold.

But it was also a pretty useless one. Dimitri was having kids. His family hadn’t been very large to begin with, and Cordelia had executed even his most distant cousins. If Dimitri didn’t have kids, it might be the extinction of his legal bloodline. Losing a crest as powerful as Dimitri’s was no joke, and Dimitri had a strong sense of royal duties. 

There was another question, one that Felix knew for a fact Dimitri worried about - if his children would inherit his illness. It was possible. They had hopes that Byleth’s fresh, good, and completely unrelated genes would reduce risk. Felix knew it had almost been enough to stop Dimitri from having the children at all. But Dimitri really did want those kids. He wanted it more than anything: that happily ever after. Finding that family lost. 

But Sylvain hadn’t asked if Dimitri would be having kids, or even if he should. He was wondering if Dimitri’s illness made him capable of being a parent at all. It was a stupid question too - maybe even stupider than the last. Sylvain never learned a thing. 

“Maybe not if he was doing it on his own,” Felix said bluntly. “But they’ll have two parents, idiot. And all of us. When Dimitri’s capable, he’ll be great. And when he’s not, Byleth and us will be here. What are you worrying about such useless things for? Get real problems.” 

And Sylvain just laughed. For a brief second, his faint wrinkles smoothed out, and he looked like the smartest and stupidest man alive again. “Man, we’re fucked up. It takes all of us combined to maybe competently raise only a slightly fucked up kid. Felipe and the future prince don’t stand a chance.”

“Don’t forget Annie’s spawn,” Felix panned. “We’ll have to throw in the towel then.”

“Nah, your kid’ll be fine. They’ll just have to learn how to be mean back.”

“What about Ingrid’s? We know what she’s like as a mother.” Left unsaid: she’d been mothering them all for years. Horrific.

Sylvain shivered. “Yeah, those ones will need our help.”

“As if we don’t have enough work to do.”

Cat Byleth yawned. She finally gave up the ghost and closed her eyes, resting her chin on the gently slumbering Felipe’s chest. Sylvain and Felix kept watch over them as they both slept, and they even stayed long after Felipe woke up crying from unknown nightmares.

***

Felix stood in front of a wooden door.

He stood in the abandoned hallway with the exhausted Sylvain, the stoic Dedue, and the antsy Balad. Felix didn’t know why they had to fucking wait outside while the girls and Dimitri got to stay inside. Something about how Lady Byleth would probably wake up without any clothes. Fucking so? They’d all seen each other naked.

Granted, nobody liked seeing Lady Byleth naked…and she was, objectively, the Queen of  Faerghus…fine, whatever. So Felix would stand outside like she was already having her baby. Poor Balad was clearly wondering how they hadn’t caught him out and sent him back to his chores by now. 

Sylvain scowled, taking a look at his pocketwatch for the fifth time. “It’s been an hour. That’s twice as long as Mercie said it would take.”

“It’s advanced magic,” Dedue said simply. “Give it time.”

“That’s what you said last time.”

“And yet my answer remains the same.”

“But I’m bored!” Sylvain groaned. “I have so much work to do, I can’t stand around here forever -”

“I see where Felipe gets it from.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Felix looked down at Balad, who had been the picture of patience for an hour. “Don’t grow up like them.”

Balad blinked up at him, eyes wide and guileless. Please. Servants were the sneakiest people alive. Teenagers were even worse. “I can’t see how I would, my lord.”

Fair. Very fair. 

Before Sylvain could begin to protest the unfair treatment, green light flashed underneath the door. Felix’s eardrums popped, and an acrid smell hit his nostrils. Dedue made a face, and Sylvain obnoxiously coughed. Balad pinched his nose shut, but he looked up at Felix in abject excitement. 

“Did it work? Was that the counter-spell?”

Excited noises sounded from behind the door, and after a second Felix heard a familiar and welcome husky tone. Despite himself, he couldn’t help but grin.

“Yes on both counts, I believe.”

After five more agonizing minutes, the door opened. Byleth stood at the door, dressed in her exercise clothing of a simple shirt and trousers, blinking owlishly at the assembly behind the door. 

She was herself, as she ever was - mint-green hair and eyes, big eyes and placid expression, short stature standing tall. Still the youngest of them all at only twenty four, her air was still indescribably old. All things told - very much like a cat. 

Almost simultaneously, all three men bowed at her. 

“Greetings to Your Grace from our esteemed houses,” Sylvain said crisply, speaking for all of them. Dedue’s house wasn’t esteemed at all, but he slid into the greeting with his honorary baronage. “It’s a pleasure to see you well, Queen Byleth.”

Queen Byleth, Saintess of the Church of Seiros, Queen of  Faerghus-and-kinda-Fodlan, Professor of the House of Blue Lions, blinked at them.

Finally, her esteemed royal and holy personage said, “...a cat?”

Stoically, Sylvain said, “Yes, Your Grace.”

“...why?”

“I’m the wrong person to ask.”

Byleth slowly turned around, looking at the women assembled behind her. Dimitri hovered near the back of the pack, looking anxious.

At her gimlet eyes, the women hurriedly curtsied or bowed. They had probably been too busy with the check-ups and trousers to remember. Or, judging by Annette’s unusual efforts to lead the pack, were skirting responsibility. 

“May the Goddess’ blessing shine upon Your Grace,” Mercedes said smoothly. “I had nothing to do with you turning into a cat.”

“Greetings to Your Grace from House Fraldarius,” Annette said hurriedly. “House Fraldarius is willing to admit that perhaps -”

“Hey,” Felix said, “don’t drag me into this.” 

“ - two people were being irresponsible. Together. As a team.”

“For a month?” Byleth said. 

“As friends, even.”

“Your Grace!” Dimitri quickly weaseled his way through the crowd of women. He stopped in front of Byleth and bowed hurriedly, almost instinctively. “Greetings to Your Grace by His Majesty of Faerghus.” 

Sylvain groaned, clapping a hand over his eyes. “You outrank her -”

Dimtiri didn’t give a shit. “Are you sure you’re alright? Shouldn’t you sit down, my lady? You’ve had a large turn. Perhaps you ought to rest.”

“I feel quite well-rested.” Byleth patted Dimitri’s hand in thoughtful consideration. Dimitri made the most desolate kicked puppy expression. Byleth just turned back to the assembly, scrutinizing the line-up before breaking into a large smile. Well, it was a large smile for Byleth - to people who didn’t know her, it seemed like nothing else but a curl of the lips. “Dedue. Welcome back to  Faerghus.”

Dedue bowed again. He was the only one who maintained the formalities beyond the first few seconds. “It was a pleasure to return, Your Grace.”

Then Byleth’s gaze swiveled down to Balad. He stiffened, hurriedly bowing again and locking his eyes on the floor. She stepped forward and scrutinized him closely, holding her thumb to her chin. Did she recognize him? How much did she remember of the past month, anyway? With the benefit of long experience, Felix instantly knew that he wasn’t about to find out. Byleth never put any of her cards in play.

“Straighten up.”

Balad straightened, keeping his eyes fixed to the floor.

“Chin up too. Widen your stance a little.” Byleth unabashedly nudged him a little, and he awkwardly widened his stance. Balad looked ready to faint from fear, but Byleth either didn’t notice or didn’t care. She just hummed, looking him up and down closely. After a few heart-pounding seconds, she finally straightened and said, “There’s potential. Tomorrow morning, 0500 hours. Training hall. Don’t be late.”

“Oh, Goddess,” Annette said, “this poor kid.”

“That’s some reward for the boy’s help this month,” Mercedes said reproachfully.

“Do you remember him?” Sylvain asked urgently. “Your Grace, I asked this boy to keep an eye on you for the past month. Did you -”

“I remember enough,” Byleth said mysteriously. Great. That could mean anything. “0500 hours. Don’t be late.”

Balad hurriedly bowed again, face flaming red. “Yes, Your Grace!”

Felix crossed his arms. “Do you have time for another victim, Lady Byleth?”

But Byleth just looked at him, eyes glinting. “I don’t know, Felix,” Byleth said, “do I have time to be a cat for a month?”

Felix stared at her, unrepentant. Byleth stared at him, a focused assault.

Finally, Byleth said, “Join me in Annette’s office, Felix.”

Everybody paled, even Balad. Felix narrowed his eyes. 

Dimitri, relentlessly hovering around Byleth’s elbow, was almost wringing his hands. “Your Grace, let’s discuss this before you make any decisions.”

“His Majesty already said that he doesn’t intend to punish House Fraldarius,” Mercedes piped up, a little anxiously. “Are you mad at them, Your Grace?”

Annette’s face fell tragically. “Lady Byleth, I really am sorry…it was just an accident.”

“Felix knows what he did,” Byleth said mysteriously. She pointed inside the room. “Office. Now.”

Felix shrugged and entered the office as the women were shepherded fully outside. Annette looked strongly as if she wanted to speak with Felix and/or plan an escape route, but Felix just waved her off. 

Byleth closed the door resolutely behind her, letting it latch with a final click. Felix stood in the center of the room at loose attention, eyeing Byleth carefully. Byleth stood in front of him, arms folded and eyes sharp. 

They stared each other down for several long seconds - not so much a battle of wills as a mutual challenge. Byleth silently inquired if Felix wanted to defend himself first. Felix knew better than to self-incriminate.

Finally, Byleth said, “You wrote me a thesis on animal transfiguration in school.”

“That I did.”

“It was good.”

“Thank you.”

“Very good.”

“I know,” Felix said. “It was how I knew ordinary humans can’t turn into cats.” 

“I’m out of the ordinary,” the vessel of the Goddess said, straight faced. 

“Hence turning into a cat.”

“Your thesis included a proof on unwinding animal transfigurations.” Byleth’s piercing stare could have put a hole in Felix’s head. “Annette hit me with a modified Reason spell. You could have undid the transformation at any time.” 

“Please,” Felix said, “don’t flatter me. It would have taken a week.”

Slowly and carefully, Byleth said, “Felix. Did you let me stay a cat for a month?”

Completely unrepentantly, Felix said, “Yup.”

“Why.”

“You needed the break.”

Byleth stared blankly at Felix. 

Felix just shrugged. “What? You were having fun, and it’s impossible to make you relax. Figured I’d take advantage of the opportunity.”

“Why didn’t you volunteer to undo the spell at all?” Byleth asked. “You could have artificially extended the time needed to cure me.”

“Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get Sylvain and his wife and kid in the same room?”

Byleth pinched the bridge of her nose. Felix felt no shame. 

Finally, she announced, “You were my most troublesome student.”

“And now I’m your most troublesome subject,” Felix said serenely. “Isn’t it funny how life works out?”

“I should tell His Majesty.”

“You won’t snitch.”

Too high a likelihood that Dimitri would actually grow angry. And, obviously, Byleth wasn’t actually mad at all. Byleth had a fantastic time being a cat. It had been the time of her fucking life. 

She wouldn’t admit it. Felix knew. Byleth knew that Felix knew. They would take this mutual secret to their graves. She was undoubtedly already wishing she could return to chasing mice. Felix had her number. 

Byleth sighed, nodding at the door. “You’re dismissed. I’m assigning you an unpleasant task later.”

Straight faced, Felix said, “But Your Grace. I already co-chair committees with Sylvain.” 

Byleth pointedly walked over and opened the door for him. Dimitri was hovering right outside the door, apart from the other Blue Lions relentlessly gossiping. Everybody’s eyes snapped to Felix and Byleth instantly, assessing the situation. 

Everybody noticed in unison that Felix was looking rather smug. Annette breathed a sigh of relief. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Byleth announced, guaranteeing that everybody would worry about it. “Dimitri. Would you like to debrief?”

Somewhat maniacally, Dimitri said, “Byleth, please consider that I have not seen my wife in almost a month.” 

Byleth paused, thinking hard. “Hm. Correct.” After a second’s thought, an answer came to her. “Oh!”

“You understand.” Dimitri grabbed her hand, already pulling her along. “Now, if you’re amenable -”

“Certainly.”

“Excellent. Everybody in this castle is forbidden from bothering us until we return.”

Byleth hurriedly pointed at Balad. “Make that 0800 hours.” 

“Ah - yes, my lady!”

Dimitri and Byleth exited stage left. Very hurriedly. 

Ingrid sighed, folding her arms. “I miss Ashe.” 

“Ah,” Dedue said, “young love.”

Mercedes arched an eyebrow at him. “Are you the expert, Dedue?”

“In those two? Yes.” 

Meanwhile, Annette pushed her way through the crowd and grabbed Felix by the sleeve. She unceremoniously tugged him out of earshot of everybody else, pulling down on his sleeve and making him bend down so she could whisper directly into his ear. 

“What the hell did you do?” Annette hissed. “Why is Byleth mad at you?”

“Can’t say,” Felix said solemnly. “We swore each other to secrecy.”

“You damned good-for-nothing husband, I swear if you went and made things worse -”

“Hark! What is that I see in yonder distance? A young woman in a glass home? What is she holding? That couldn’t possibly be a stone -”

“I have been stressing the past month, and if you had any information that might have reduced that stress -”

“But you got an extension on all of your deadlines!” Felix added cheerfully. Please. Stress. She had been waiting for Mercedes to come and fix it. She had been busy the past month catching up on all of her work, not just the Cat Byleth situation. “Now all of your papers are written, your work’s completed, your best friend’s here, and the Queen of  Faerghus isn’t a cat anymore. Round win in my book.”

“That’s not - did you have something to do with this?”

“I had absolutely nothing to do with any of this.” That was extremely true. A little too true, but definitely true. In a technicality. 

Annette’s eyes narrowed. “That sounds like a technicality.”

And, bizarrely - beautifully - Felix could only lean in and kiss his wife. She immediately kissed him back - it had been a while for them too - and they joined together for a long handful of valuable seconds before they finally separated.

Felix kept her in his arms, relaxing into the feeling of her warm weight. Hopefully the others were too busy bickering amongst themselves. They were way too old for ridiculous PDA like this. He kept his voice low, secluding words away just for the two of them. “Maybe you should take a break too. Let’s take a week off. Just don’t do shit, you and me.”

“Felix!” Annette lightly batted him on the shoulder, but she didn’t pull away. “I’m behind enough as it is already!” 

“You’re always behind! I’m always behind, we’re always busy - so what?” Somehow, for some weird reason Felix couldn’t quite explain, at that moment saying these words to Annette felt like the most important thing in the world. “We were too busy during the war and we were too busy before it. Who cares? I just want time with you.”

“You’ll get time when I retire from my royal magician position in five years,” Annette scolded. “We’ll both move back to your home and settle down then, remember? It’s in the timetable?”

So it was. As Felipe had been in the timetable, and never in Sylvain’s life. As taking care of Dimitri was worked into every day, and they had glossed over actually trusting him. Ashe had been in Brigid for months, and Ingrid hadn’t so much as opened her mouth to complain - accustomed to it as a wartime necessity, with no time to stop and remember that the war was over. Only a summons from the king brought Mercedes across the country to even see her husband again. Even Dedue, returning just to reunite and reconnect, had to remind the nearest Duscuran child that he was never allowed to relax, to lose composure and dignity - the same composure and dignity that Dedue maintained at every moment, without fault or slip. The only break any of them had taken in the past month was completely involuntary, and it had involved turning into a cat. Yes, Felix was completely unrepentant. 

“Annie,” Felix said, and for a moment he let her see the exhaustion in himself too, “are we going to live the rest of our lives like this?”

Were the Blue Lions going to end as they began - pushed to the brink by fear and desperation, and only pushed further as danger encroached around every corner? Would they live now as they had always lived - leaders and combatants in a war for their lives, no expenses spared just to live? Struggling to take care of Dimitri as Dimitri struggled to take care of them, looking to their old teacher for guidance and floundering when left without her? 

Annette was quiet for a long minute. She wasn’t used to seeing that look in his face. Felix didn’t show his heart very frequently, even to her. Maybe that was the weight he still carried.

Finally, she said, “Maybe a quick break.” 

Felix’s smile resurfaced on his face, and he knew it was a lot looser. “A week?”

“A whole week? What would we even do?”

“Whatever we want, maybe.” Felix paused a beat. “His and Her Majesties have the right idea.” 

Annette giggled, resting her forehead on the chest. “Wanna invite -”

“Ah, I hear new parents have no time for that sort of thing.”

“Maybe they can take a break too.” 

“Maybe we’ll all take a break,” Annette said, rolling her eyes. “We’ll let the continent of Fodlan grind to a halt because a group of friends are exhausted and horny. That’s the work of responsible nobility.” 

Felix wanted to be the best parent in the world. He wanted to be the best father who ever lived. He wanted to be a father who made Annette cry in relief, because she would never worry if he would abandon her and his children. She wouldn’t even think of it. Blue Lions or not, important titles and distinguished peerage or not - Felix would make her worries disappear. Even their ghosts wouldn’t exist in her life, or the lives of their children. 

It had to start now. He still had to whip everybody else into shape too. 

“It’s always been us versus the world.” For better or for worse - but that described a great deal. “Let’s let the world take care of itself for a little while.”

If Annette had any arguments, she chose to kiss him instead of making them. Which was about as good as no arguments at all. 

#my writing #fe3h #fire emblem three houses

[sneakyblinders]

your mother, the enchantress.

A/N: ok this is the cute idea I had about Tommy and his babies. Not gonna lie got kinda emotional writing it. it's so fluffy lol warnings: not canon, fluff. major fluff. like tooth rotting fluff. a part of my tommy and his darling wife au. enjoy &lt;3 also im a huge fan of a good slowed down & verbed song and i think taylor swifts enchanted goes pretty good with this. I take no credit for the gif, I just think this is how he would look during Peter's speech. <3

You had finally finished a phone conversation with your mother. A long, arduous conversation about how vitally important getting the right tutor for Peter was. You, of course, understood the levity of Peter receiving an education, and after much discussion between you and your husband, you'd had to relent and let your husband have his way: the children would be educated at home by a private tutor. Peter was five, and Katherine had just turned two. Thomas had interviewed several more than qualified candidates for the position, but none seemed to suit your husbands unreasonably high standards. "Thomas, love," you'd tried talking to him one evening. "No one will be perfect--" He cut you off. "We need to get as close to perfect as we can, my Darling. He needs the finest education." You roll your eyes. "Which he would get if he were to go to a private school. You could have twenty-four hour protection there if you wanted." He ground his teeth together, jaw locked tight. "My decision is final." And that had been that.

When you exited the home office and found the halls oddly quiet, you assumed that Thomas had let Frances go to bed, and you remembered that Sara had asked for the evening off. You walked down the hallway towards the faint sound of voices in the library. You could hear Katherine and Peter giggling, and you had to wonder what they could be giggling about. Your mind rushed to they had gotten into something while Tommy had his back turned for a minute, but when you pushed the door to the library open slightly, you were pleasantly surprised with what you saw.

Thomas was seated on the floor with the children, his legs crossed, in just his undershirt and suit pants, suspenders hanging down to his waist, dress shirt folded neatly over the back of the sofa. He had a deck of cards in front of them, and they were selecting random cards from the deck. Thomas would close his eyes as they plucked cards from the deck, holding them in their small hands, giggling as Tommy raised his eyebrows, eyes still shut. "Daddy, what card do I have?" Peter asked. Tommy made a contemplative face before saying, "Mm, it's a three of hearts," and Peter let out a little shriek. "He's magic, Katherine!" Peter laughed, showing the two of them his card, which was a three of hearts. Thomas repeated this trick with Katherine, who asked for her brothers help in knowing how many spades were on her card. And your husband correctly guessed again, an eight of spades. "Okay, okay, children," Tommy said, pulling them both by the legs close to him, as they giggled, their bottoms dragging on the carpet. "Let me tell you a story, about a witch!" they giggled as he pulled them into his sides. He positioned them facing the fireplace, their backs against the bottom of the sofa, curling into their father. Your heart began to melt in your chest as he began telling them a fairytale about a witch who cast a spell on an unknowing peasant boy, and they fell in love. "Ew, love!" Peter wrinkled his nose. "Aah, my boy," Tommy said, "One day you will love love, as I do." he said, pressing a kiss to the top of your sons head. "Like you love mother?" Peter said, ice blue eyes looking up at his father. "Yes," Tommy said, a soft smile on his face. "Like I love mother." You leaned against the door slightly, causing it to creak open, their attention shifting to your position in the doorway. "Mama!" Katherine said, eyes lighting up despite her sleepiness. You blushed under Tommy's loving gaze. "Hi, sweet pea," you coo, walking towards where they sat on the floor. "You're sleepy, hm?" you asked her, sitting next to them in front of the fire. "Can we sleep with you tonight, Mama?" Katherine asked, her dark eyes looking up at you. You glance at Tommy for a minute, who shoots you a look. He loved his children more than life, but loathed when they slept in bed with the two of you. They slept in such precarious positions, and he felt as though he couldn't move all night for fear of waking them. And they always slept in the middle of you two, which didn't allow him the opportunity to pull you close whenever he wanted. "Not tonight, lovebug," you tell her, as she shuffles over to you, sitting in your lap, head against your chest. "Maybe we can all have a cuddle in the morning, hm?" "Okay." her little voice said, dejected. You shoot your husband a pitiful look, to which he shakes his head softly, a smile playing on his lips. "Alright, shall we take you off to bed?" you ask. "I'll put Peter to bed," Tommy tells you, as your son begins to doze off, head in his fathers lap, warm from the fire.

You take Katherine up the steps to her bedroom. You'd just had it painted a light yellow color, making the room sunny day or night. You helped her out of her dress and shoes and into her nightgown. She had just begun sleeping in her "big girl bed", and was very proud of herself for sleeping all through the night the last few nights without waking you or Sara due to being scared. You had tucked her in and were reaching for her favorite stuffed toy, a little stuffed horse Tommy had gotten her for her first birthday. She'd carried it with her everywhere since, and she couldn't sleep without it now. "Goodnight, horsey," you said softly, tucking the stuffed toy in with her, under her arm. "Goodnight, sweet girl," you tell her, kissing her forehead. "'Night 'night, Mama." she said breathily, eyes fluttering closed. You switched off the lights in her room before closing the door softly and padding down the hallway to your room, where Tommy was waiting for you.

He sat in the chair by the window, smoking, eyeing the horses in the fields on the side of the house. You came up alongside him, a hand on his shoulder. "Hello, my love." he said, voice deep with fatigue. "Hello, handsome," you tell him, reaching down and pressing a kiss to his temple. He smiles slightly, turning towards you. He holds his arms open, a signal for you to sit with him. You sit on his lap and his arms circle around you. He breathes deeply, he's happy. "You're such a good father," you tell him, nuzzling your face in his neck, pressing a kiss where your lips land. He sighed. "I try, my love." Fatherhood had not come naturally to Tommy, much to his dismay. He admired how you had taken to being a mother, and tried to mimic your behaviors with the children. Sometimes he succeed, but most times he struggled. Struggled with staving off his selfishness, his need to have things his way or no way. Struggled to be patient with his children, who were still learning how to express themselves and learning how to process emotion. He wanted his children to have better than he did, and already they had much better circumstances than he and his siblings did when they were his age. They had parents who were crazy about one another, a beautiful home, food on the table and clothes on their backs. Anything they wanted, he would go to the ends of the earth to get. But he wanted to be there. And with his work, it was often difficult to be there. He knew Polly did the best she could with five children to raise, none of them being her own, and he was forever grateful for her and her sacrifices she made, but he knew that nothing would ever replace the presence of the parent. "Your story tonight was lovely," you tell him, smiling against his neck as he rubbed soothing circles into your back. "It was a true story," he said, stubbing his cigarette out. "Oh?" you ask, sitting up and looking at him. "Our children don't know their mother is an enchantress," he said, a naughty smile crossing his features. "A witch," he whispered, cupping the back of your neck with his hands, moving your face close to his. "Who put her love spell on me," he smiled, pressing a kiss to your lips. "Made me fall so desperately in love with her," he breathed, kissing you again. "Why me, I'll never know." You smile at him, tears in your eyes. "Thomas Shelby," you breathe. "I love you." He smiled softly, his eyes heavy with sleep and love. "I love you," he stands up, carrying you in his arms to the bed. "Madly," he kisses your neck. "Desperately," your collarbones. "Irrevocably," the tops of your breasts. "Besotted," he tugs at the neckline of your dress. "With you, my love."

1950

It was Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Shelby's thirtieth wedding anniversary party. A grand affair for everyone involved. Tommy held his brides hand under the table, looking out at his family. This family that they had created. Their eldest son, Peter, and his wife, Sophie sat with their first two grandsons, Oliver and Thomas, a namesake. Kate sat with her fiancé, Isabel and William sat near their nephews, entertaining them with crayons and paper. And Claire and Anthony sat with their friends who they were allowed to invite, in hopes they would sit still for dinner at least before the dancing began. His heart swelled with pride.

Peter stood up, walking to the front of the ballroom they had rented for the occasion, standing in front of the microphone. He cleared his throat. "If I could have everyone's attention for a moment, please," he said, the ballroom falling quiet except for the sound of silverware on plates. "I told my mother I wouldn't make her cry, but I can't really keep my promise on this one, Mother," he smiles at his mother, who already looks at him with tears in her eyes. "Father, don't hurt me for making mother cry," Peter jokes, and Tommy laughs, squeezing his brides hand, beaming proudly at his eldest son. The crowd chuckled, all knowing the repercussions of making Mrs. Shelby upset. "When I was five, I remember my father telling Kate and I a story of a witch who put a spell on a poor peasant boy," Peters mother closes her eyes, reliving that memory from so long ago in her minds eye. "And they fell madly in love from that spell," he took a breath. "At the time I thought it was gross, the idea of love, the idea of this feeling that overtakes every part of you. My father told me one day I would love, love as much as he does. And it wasn't until I was older that I realized it was a retelling of their love story," the audience let out a unanimous, "aw", making Tommy blush and his wife laugh, shaking her head. "But, what I came up here to thank my parents for, more than anything they've done for all of us," he paused, looking at his parents. "Is showing us the power of love. The power of having that sort of soul-shattering love on your side through all of life's valleys and peaks. I've seen my parents, throughout my twenty-eight years of life, pull each other from the valleys and love the other back to life. They have instilled in all of their children the power of marrying for love, over honor and duty," he smiles at his siblings. "And allowing that love to be the driving force of all they do. They have led their family for thirty years with love and respect, honor, and excellence, and for their example of irrevocable and unending love, I am forever in their debt. Happy anniversary, you lovesick fools!" Peter said, raising his champagne flute in a toast to his parents, who were both teary eyed at the head of their table. "We love you, Mom and Dad."

And through his life, that moment, that night, was the second night in Thomas' life that he truly felt an overwhelming feeling of, I did the right thing with my life. Coming in second only to the day his life changed forever, when he married the love of his life.

#tommy shelby #tom shelby #tommy shelby x oc #tommy shelby x reader #thomas shelby #peakywomen #peaky fookin blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinders #sneakyblinders #my au <3 #sorry for clogging the tag #i just have so many ideas lol

[actiniumwrites]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

synopsis: what i think their love languages are

characters: albedo, kaeya, beidou, ganyu, xiao, ayato, sara, itto, and kazuha (separately)

warnings: doesn’t have to be reader insert, but i do mention a gn! s/o ( in case you were unsure s/o = significant other)

note: these are honestly just opinions and were just for fun, i didn’t do extensive character research for this. that being said, i’m sorry if you disagree !

albedo: gift giving

loves to make things in his lab and give them to you

if you’re really interested in his experiments, he’s really appreciative so he likes to give some of things he creates back to you only if it’s safe of course

he also just loves spoiling you, even if it’s something that he didn’t create but actually bought

kaeya: physical touch

it was between this one and words of affirmation, but i honestly think he teases too much to show his love through words

really loves to hold you or just have any sort of contact with you

loves to hold your hand and will always hug you when you get home or when he gets home

if you guys are talking to someone, he loves to keep a hand around your shoulders or on your waist

loves to let people know you’re his and he’s yours

beidou: words of affirmation

this was another tough one tbh

she loves hyping up her crew and making everyone feel confident and supported through her words and presence so i definitely feel she’d do the same for you

if you’re feeling down, she’ll give you a really good pep talk that’ll make you feel so good about yourself

loves to announce how much she loves you to her crew and all of liyue harbor, especially when she’s drunk

will never, ever forget to remind you how much she loves you

ganyu: acts of service

loves to do things for you

she never feels forced to do so, she just wants to help you

always offering her help too, even with the smallest of things

she’ll probably get insecure if you decline her offer

if you’re out, she’s always doing things for you and helping you out, even if you don’t know it

always wants to make sure you’re doing okay and will do whatever she can to make sure you aren’t overwhelmed, stressed, or sick

xiao: quality time

for xiao, getting to spend time with his s/o is so important to him

he loves nights up at the inn where it’s just you and him eating your favorite foods and watching the stars

you guys will go on adventures together and he loves every second of it, every second with you

really loves it when you pay attention to him, especially if he’s opening up about his past or things that are bothering him, or even just little things like stories he wants to tell you

ayato: physical touch and quality time

he doesn’t get much time off which is why he deeply appreciates any second he gets with you

while he loves hanging out with you, he wants to be able to hold you too

loves walking around the city and telling each other about your guys’ days, eating dinner together, doing paperwork together, literally just whatever he can get

kinda like kaeya, he’ll always have a hand on you whether it’s literally holding your hand or resting on your back

loves hugs, but only with you

i feel like he’s not a big hugger or person that would be into physical touch in general, but if it’s with his s/o, he’s all over it

holding you and spending time with you will literally melt his heart

kujou sara: gift giving

she’s not really good with things like words or emotions

but she does have interest in a lot of little trinkets and statues and such cough cough… irodori festival

if she goes to get something for herself or sends someone to get something for her, she always makes sure they get something for you too

will also just bring you things like little foods or drinks that you might like

always blushes and gets embarrassed (spoiler alert: it’s cause she’s scared you won’t like it)

itto: quality time

this man is all about fun and family

he loves to hangout with you all the time

will always offer to do something fun like swimming at the beach, play fighting, and don’t get me started on beetle fighting

if you beetle fight with itto, you will have his whole heart

also loves to take you to visit his grandma, it’s really important that you guys spend time together

he loves to talk to you as well and feels loved when you really listen to him and indulge in his jokes and stories

he also really loves just laying in grassy fields with you and watching the clouds while you snuggle up next to him

kazuha: words of affirmation

this man’s biggest skill is his words

will write you endless poems

he loves writing about your beauty, the things you like, his adoration for you, etc.

if you’re ever feeling down, he knows exactly what to say to make you feel better

never fails to verbally show his appreciation for/to you

will tell people off for you, no matter what, he’ll openly support and love you and make sure people know that him and beidou need to chill

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin x reader #kazuha #albedo x reader #kaeya x reader #beidou x reader #ganyu x reader #xiao x reader #ayato x reader #kujou sara x reader #itto x reader #kazuha x reader #these were fun to write #if you’re reading this i hope you win your next 50/50 #let me know if you guys want more of these :)

[bloodred-quills]

You're a statue... or are you?

Characters:Ei,Sara,Sucrose, Fischl,Barbara

Reader:gender-neutal

Wordcount:2.5k

Warnings:angst(Ei), fainting(Sara), Shakespearean(Fischl), cursing(Barbara)

My notes: yeah so, we broke up. Im back on my bullshit, have a happy new year.

~♤~

Ei

She knows the legend holds true, she saw it take place after all. Her dearest companion, turned to stone, right before her eyes.

She made sure the one who done it paid in blood for taking you away.

Overcome by grief she sealed herself away, unable to look at your petrified face. She failed to protect yet another one she cared for.

And here she was now, half a millennium after that forsaken day, strolling through Inazuma all alone.

Citizens did not dare to get in her way, parting like the sea, avoiding her empty stare.

Before she knew of it she was facing your statue. The plaque of metal at your feet tells your story vaguely, the last inscription reading "only a touch of their soulmate may free them now."

At once Ei struck it with her spear, if it only were that simple you'd be in her arms right now.

Discarding her spear she stepped forward and reached for your outstretched hand, the last plea, she remembers how you screamed for her help.

She wasn't fast enough. Thunder comes after lightning, she didn't possess her sister's swiftness.

Little cracks adorned your fingers, a sign of the years of erosion washed over you. She traced them, found her way into your arms again. She didn't know what she was expecting, you were as cold as the steel of a blade.

Until you weren't.

Hard surface rapidly turned into tender flesh.

Now there was a limp body in her arms. Frozen in place Ei held you, quietly she returned to her mind-scape, prompting the Shogun to take over.

Ei sunk to her knees slowly bringing you down, resting your body against hers. A hand reached to the base of your neck, tears gliding down her face as she felt your pulse.

Not a soul knows how much time the electro archon spent cradling your body close to her own, unmoving as she listened to you breathe.

Eventually, your eyes slowly opened, and Ei was there to return your stare, a longing look in her eyes.

A soft gasp passed your lips. Your eyes scanned your surroundings before looking back at her, confusion written on your face.

"Are we dead?"

She shook her head slowly, her red-rimmed eyes holding emotions far bigger than herself.

Her hand gently came to brush your hair out of your face "Do you remember me?"

You held her palm to your face, leaving a soft touch of your lips as your vision became muddled by tears of your own.

"I won't ever forget you, Ei."

Sara

She was patrolling when she spotted Itto surrounded by children next to the statue of the "forgotten lover", so of course, she became suspicious.

Joining the tiny crowd she endured the oni's babbles about how the statue is a person, waiting for their lover to set them free and demonstrating by touching it. Nothing happened.

"Aw man, your loss my statue!"

Sara has had enough, "Arataki Itto, leave the tri-commission's property alone at once." She said, hand reaching out to remove him, but that silly man had other plans.

"Kujou's turn!" He loudly announced as he took a side step, Sara's hands now resting on your stone-cold chest.

For a second she closed her eyes in frustration, then she heard the collective gasps of those around. The stone was cracking open.

Afraid she might have damaged the art piece she stepped away, letting you break out of the shell with the grace of a newborn calf trying to stand up.

Acting on instinct she caught you before you could meet the ground. Your eyes met hers for a moment before you went limp.

"I'll take them to the infirmary." She announced before marching off, carrying you in her arms now. The pang in her heart went unnoticed.

The people were in shock, she was in shock. The tale was true, you were just rock mere moments ago. Or were you trapped in rock? There were too many thoughts going through her head.

After a quick check-up and administrating of fluids the doctors assured you just needed to rest and recover before they left.

Sitting beside your bed, head resting in her hands, she couldn't bring herself to leave. The part of the story where only your lover could set you free repeating in her mind.

Everything else in the story was real. She remembers passing you by for years, have you been waiting all this time? Were you able to see her, were you silently waiting all along?

Several days passed before you opened your eyes again, Sara was there when it happened.

The nice guest room you were in left ignored as your irises focused on her. You tried to speak but it only resulted in a cough.

Sara was quick to bring you into a sitting position with one arm and bring a cup of water to your lips with the other. "Here. Don't force yourself."

After your cup was empty she tried to lead you down again but you remained upright, a determined stare in your eye as you gripped the blanket.

"Are— Are you the one? You broke me free didn't you?" Your voice was frail, yet it filled the otherwise silent room, Sara nodded.

"Save your energy, I'll bring you something to eat."

With her figure gone your eyes finally noticed your surroundings, the room was clean, a window cracked open letting fresh air in. The furniture, though scarce, was made of reddish wood, atop a low desk was a statue of the Shogun a little vase with lavender flowers next to her.

And returned she was, Sara came in holding a little table with five dishes, among them there was an egg roll bearing the electro sigil.

She sat it down in front of you, taking her place next to your futon.

"I must say I have a plethora of questions for you. Regardless, your recovery is the priority, here let me—" but you were already eating with the vigor of a starved wolf. Pausing for a minute when you heard her abrupt stop.

Remembering your manners you gave an apologetic smile "thank you".

"Don't mention it," she said before motioning you to continue "it's good to see you have an appetite, my name is Kujou Sara."

Well, you were glad to finally meet her. You'll have to introduce yourself and tell her what happened to you... as soon as you remember.

Sucrose

She's exploring on the field looking for new specimens to experiment on when she finds you.

Stance crooked, more than half of you is covered in moss and birds have made their nest in your outstretched palm. Curiously, only one finger stands up proudly while the rest are curled in.

"Fascinating..."

She approaches as if you'd come to life any second, careful to avoid the patch of mushrooms growing close by your legs, bleh.

Taking out a notebook she starts scribbling with great interest. Common moss from your shoes to your torso, the lichens there are not anything special either, what caught her attention was a lonely astilbe flower growing from your hood as dirt slowly gathered there over time.

It is a rather small and sturdy specimen with pale pink petals to match it.

With skilled hands she replanted the flower where it could thrive, taking a part of it for further examination.

"Here you go." She says, dusting off her gloves looking proud of her work.

She turns to head back toward her lab and mark you on her map. Only that when she does you're sitting down, your legs crossed, very much alive and breathing.

"WAAAAAA!"

She stumbles backward, landing on the forest floor looking at you with wide eyes, mouth agape.

"Hello" you raise your hand as if to wave, only to put it back down after "do you know where I am?" you ask. The fact you don't know your location not seeming to affect you very much.

"Y— You're alive"

"Clearly. Are you lost as well?"

She shakes her head, a nervous twitch in her ears matching her trembling fingers. Cute.

"Were you alive from the beginning? Is it a special ability? A defense mechanism perhaps?" Curiosity rests behind her round glasses, she tucks her legs close to sit more comfortably as you two converse.

"Nothing of the sort, I got trapped in 'undying ice' by a woman after I stumbled upon her and a bard talking," you say, eyes looking down as you pick at the moss on your clothes. It surely will take more than one good scrub to take it off.

Taking her pen out once again Sucrose started taking notes. Recreating this type of ice would be a massive discovery in bio-alchemy and a step closer to her wonderland.

"Do you perhaps know how she made it?" She asks, looking up from the notebook, her eyebrows furrowed.

"With her hands. Allegedly, she is a love goddess, and only 'my one true love can ever get me out of it'." You roll your eyes speaking with faux grandeur.

A bigger twitch in her ears, almost making them stand up. Eyes widening, her face reddening she adjusts her glasses.

"As if such a thing as a soulmate exists," you continue your little rant as poor Sucrose tried to gather herself.

Soulmates? You and her? Being busy with her studies all the time she never stopped to think about such things.

"So are you gonna tell me where we are or am I just going to go figure it out on my own?" You tell her as you stand up, a myriad of bones popping and cracking in your body as you stretch.

"We... we're in the outskirts of Mondstad," she says, catching up to guide you out of the forest before you have the chance to get yourself lost.

You hum in response before settling to walk beside her. "I'm S/O, by the by."

"Sucrose, nice to find you."

Fischl

She's read a book about it. A knight beyond this realm was sent on a mission to rescue a princess, now trapped in stone by the gods for intruding upon teyvat. Only the princess herself could rescue them.

Lo and behold the statue in Mondstad matched the sketch drawn in said book to perfection.

Why would the gods imprison you for trying to save someone? In the city of freedom, no less.

She couldn't possibly allow that to pass, it was her duty as a member of the adventurer's guild to free you, or so she told Oz.

Stepping into the garden, she could almost see your face from where it was hidden in your palms, your legs crossed resting on a stone pedestal. Judging by the moss at your feet this was a new implementation to preserve you.

She let her hand rest on one of your own, just what happened to you?

She gasped, eyes widening as the rock chipped at every corner and slowly you rose your head from your palms, rubble falling down your body like ashes. Tear-stained face peering into her own.

Your head tilted slightly as you rubbed your eyes, looking mystified by her.

"Princess?" You inquire in a hush, "What happened to your eye? Are you alright?" Before you could move to get down she raises a hand before you.

"Halt, you know who I am?"

"Are you not Princess Fischl?" You move your legs to dangle from the pedestal. "You sure look alike. She fled the castle and left me a note asking me to come find her here, she doesn't want to marry the prince her family betrothed her to." You explain while fiddling your fingers.

"What hath happened to thee then? wherefore w're thee a statue?"

There was a fond look in your eyes as you leaned forward.

"Why you speak like her as well, are you sure you're not my princess? Are you playing a trick on me, your royal highness?" You teased.

"I am not, anon answ'r mine own questions betimes thee knight!"

A gentle smile settled on your lips as you moved to the right, patting the place next to you "take a seat, I'll tell you everything mein fräulein."

Barbara

She remembers a young Jean telling her about the statue of the one who learned to fly, trapped in stone by Decarabian soon after.

Pax Ventus was the name inscribed at your feet, the legend came to be as a tale sung by bards throughout history.

The inventor who crafted the first glider in an attempt to escape oppression, to this day your statue carries your symbol of freedom.

After a particularly tiring day, Barbara went on a walk to her one quiet place, filled with memories of her early childhood.

"I'm just as tall as you now, maybe next year you'll be the short one." Talking with a statue wasn't the sanest activity, but you were in a quiet area rarely visited by others.

Looking down she could see vines have climbed up your legs, again, "Oh goodness, does nobody care for you? Don't worry, Barbara's here." She asked as she knelt to unwrap the leaf climbers.

She stood back up when your stone shell began to break, revealing a perfectly frozen-in-time you.

You tried to step but quickly figured your legs weren't cooperating.

"Careful!" Luckily Barabara swept in quickly, walking you to a nearby bench.

The sky is bright, warm weather, and lush greens? "Am I in heaven? Are you an angel?" You turned to the deaconess, a dazzled expression on your face.

"Oh no," she waved her hands in front of herself "You're in Mondstad, I'm Barbara, just a regular person." She specified with a curt smile.

"Mondstad? I'm from Mond but I've never seen it else than cold n' gloomy." You fiddle with the leaves of a nearby bush. "How long have I been trapped?"

"I'm afraid I don't know, you been here since I could remember Pax." She shook her head, folding her hands in her lap.

"Pax? My name is S/O," you raised an eyebrow, who would name their child Peace?

"Ah! I'm terribly sorry, I thought the writing there was your name," she explained pointing towards where you stood just minutes ago.

You pushed the laugh bubbling in your chest down, how could someone from Mond not know Latin?

"Mind helping me out of these?" You rolled your shoulders, the wings on your back moving in sync.

"Of course."

With a few instructions, together you managed to undo the harness, letting your back rest on the wooden bench.

"That's much better. I feel light as a feather now," you sighed, eyes closed as you enjoyed the warm sun.

You heard something clank to the pavement.

"Oh shit!"

Quickly going to inspect your equipment you raised in the air a strange greenish orb encased in a golden frame. "I didn't make this" You mumbled.

Barbara gasped, hands clasped at her mouth and eyes wide.

"Oh uh sorry, it just slipped," you raised your other hand in front of yourself with an apologetic smile, unaware of the importance of the object in your hands.

#genshin impact #ei x reader #kujou sara x reader #sara x reader #sucrose x reader #fischl x reader #barbara x reader #nothing like good old writing instead of procesing your emotions

[frogprincesnowglobe]

Years ago in another fandom I read a fic (that unfortunately wasn't finished) where Character A was a prince in some shadowy medieval time and Character B was his royal attendant. If I recall he started attending him, helping him bathe and get dressed when they were teens and later fell in love. I randomly remembered that story last night and it gave me this similar idea for Young Royals:

How absolutely perfect would a modern Wilmon version be? I'm thinking sixteen year old Wilhelm is Crown Prince and Simon has been hired as his attendant. Author decides how this comes about. In the modern era this would be doing things like making sure he has his clothes set out and shoes shined, making sure he wakes up on time, brushing his coat of lint etc. Wille finds it dehumanizing to both of them (he can carry his own bags thank you very much).

The Eriksson's need a little extra money and if Simon works as Wille's attendant he and Sara will get their board paid for them at Hillerska, which Linda loves because of the quality of the education and it gets them away from Sara's bullying situation. Simon of course shares a room with Wille. Simon doesn't want to be his attendant because he's anti monarchy and agrees it's dehumanizing but it will help his mom. Very early on they decide that they just...won't have Simon helping him out and his family will still get the money. But in order to keep up appearances so Simon and Sara don't lose their place at Hillerska and the royal court doesn't get annoyed, and so August doesn't realize and tell the Queen ... they fake it. Simon will hold his books and call him Crown Prince and do little tasks for him. At some point it becomes a game, and their playful banter and laughter becomes flirting. Quickly they develope feelings for each other.

Dealer's choice on if the video is still leaked, but it presents an opportunity for extra drama. However it comes about there will definitely be extra drama when the Queen discovers that Wille's royal attendant is...attending to him in more ways than one.

#Young Royals

[valyalyon]

July, 2024

July 5, 2024. He told me not to lose his number. I’ll call him.

I was sitting in my car on the side of the interstate leaving Kansas City going West. In the back seat, an 11 month old Theo sits, babbling a series of nonsensical stories while playing with his stuffed animal. His life is always so innocent and full of hope. I keep glancing in the rearview to see him, each time smiling at the endless joy he was born with.

The ringing from the car speakers stopped, and for a moment I thought I’d hear the voicemail.

“Hey,” his voice said on the other end.

“Hi,” I said, my voice not giving too much emotion away.

“Want to tell me what happened?” He asked, although his voice didn’t give anything up either.

I never knew what to do with that Scorpio man.

“Julius,” I sighed, “The short of it? I got married, I had a son, my husband is abusive, he’s cheating on me, I need to go back to Arizona and get my own place to stay. I’m bringing my son with me. I need to be closer to my family.”

Julius let out a sigh, a deep one, and went quiet for a second.

“You there?” I asked sheepishly after a minute.

“Stay with me until you get your place, I need you to be safe.”

July 7, 2024. Phoenix, Arizona.

I arrived at J’s house after around 7pm. The house was not the same he had lived in when I was with him, but Julius looked just the same as he did when I left. I was holding a sleeping Theo in my arms as he led us into the house. Julius had only texted me to check on an ETA, he didn’t catch me up on his life at all.

His house wasn’t the only new thing.

“Sara, this is Dolores and Theo. Dolores is my brother’s wife, and Theo is my nephew… Unfortunately for them, my brother’s a piece of shit,” Julius stood between me and another woman. Sara was his wife, and in her arms was a son about the same age as Theo.

“Nice to meet you! Please stay as long as you need,” Sara was smiling at me.

“I will help around the house and with your son whenever you need me to,” I quickly said, stepping closer to Julius and more in a direct line of vision for Sara, “I really don’t want to be a disturbance, and we’ll try to be out as soon as you three need.”

July 8, 2024.

After Sara had left for work, I sat down to speak with Julius in the living area. We sat down on the floor with Theo and Anthony, letting the them play together on a playmat.

“Life has changed so much,” my voice was trembling.

“It has,” he looked over at me, and then turned his attention to the boys.

“I don’t want anything from you, Julius… I just want us to be friends, and I want to get out of your space as soon as possible,” I told him quietly.

“Look, there’s no rush for you to do anything. I don’t hold anything against you anymore, I’ve recovered from that. I just don’t know what’s going to happen to you and I.”

“I want your marriage to succeed. I don’t want to be the reason Anthony’s parents split. If you think the best thing is for us to talk very little, that’s alright. I don’t want to cause any friction in this house,” I tried to explain to him. I had no intention of ruining what he had built there.

“Maybe the space is for the best,” he agreed.

Note from Valya

Looks like Julius is back!!! Remember to favorite and reblog! See below for more of Dreams, Ink and Embers.

DIE MASTER LIST OR #LYONDIE

#writeblr #creative writing #dark romance #writers of tumblr #writing #literature #booklr #writers on tumblr #original story #LYONDIE #bluestlyon

[batrachised]

I was thinking about my favorite secondary couple from L. M. Montgomery's series, and my pick comes down to Phil/Jonas and Ilse/Perry, it's so hard to choose between them! What's your pick? :D

I feel like I need to do RESEARCH for this ask, like a deep dive into all of the books especially as secondary couples can abound depending on the book! Because I take any excuse to talk about lm montgomery I can (so thank you for this), I of course must go book by book and rank each couple accordingly. A monumental task, to be sure - but one I feel is well worth the effort.

The side couples i can think of include (sure I might be forgetting some, but if I can't remember them are they really that great?) are below. I did skip out on some I remembered (sorry to Nan and Jerry!) because we know so little about them I didn't think it worth it. So, presenting, the top ten LM Montgomery side couples!

10. The Awkward Man/The School teacher (The Story Girl)

The Story Girl doesn't really have any romances (Felicity and Peter are really kind of the main one), but this is a mini subplot of the book. And, well, I was like meh. I liked the Awkward man (although, what a name), but for whatever reason this particular pairing didn't appeal to me. I think it's because it's thru the avenue of Sara; I would have preferred it as a short story.

9. Brook/Rae aka Cuddles (Mistress Pat)

I really shouldn't include them but I just love Cuddles so much, she's like the spiritual successor to Phil Gordon. I also love how after playing with so many boys' hearts she's like THAT one, so true queen! I think their pairing is also a fun contrast to Pat and Hilary's; poor Pat doesn't realize she's in love for like 15 years, and Rae is immediately like HE'S THE ONE.

8. Fred/Diana (Anne Series)

Cute, love them, but they're definitely outshined by the other couples. I do love how they kind of introduce Anne to the reality of romance, and the wincingly true to life fact that Diana is one of those girls who tells her boyfriend everything (which makes me wonder what Fred thought of Anne's escapades).

7. Leslie/Owen (Anne's House of Dreams)

I really like Leslie as a character, but Owen just kind of felt...there. Like Leslie's generic happily ever after. Strong "she's everything he's just Ken" vibes there to me. However, leslie's story is so wild it singlehandedly lifts this pairing up several ranks.

6. Jem/Faith (Rilla of Ingleside)

We learn very little about Jem and Faith but I love them; they're like that rad cool couple whose always traveling the world and being bold together. I think being this high up on the list is a bit of a cheat because it's more inspired by fanfic I read than the actual books, but the fanfic was based on the strength of the original pairing!! Gotta love two bold and charming hotheads falling in love. Also, I desperately want to know what Faith's reaction to Jem kissing Mary Vance was.

5. Sid/May (Mistress Pat)

Hold on a minute batrachised, you might be saying - aren't they like, kinda the worst? Like really toxic? Like the actual image of a really unhappy marriage? YES, and that is why I find them so interesting. Normally LM Montgomery shows us the happy couples; this is one of the few unhappy ones she shows who is very close to home. Pat has to live with May, and she also has to live with her brother's choices. The fact that Sid didn't get his happily after due to the mistakes he made is chilling, especially because it's so real! May is that one awful in-law we all can't escape. Poor Sid. But also, he's in a prison of his own making.

4. Ilse/Perry (Emily series)

they're just fun. Also I'd love to read a scene of their married couple arguments. Do you think Ilse calls Perry pet names like blithering centipede affectionately?

3. Una/Walter (ish - an extremely strong ish) (Anne series)

I'm going to be real here: I just love Walter so much that anything connected to him immediately gains +10 points charisma. Do we get virtually anything of this pairing? No. Do I still want more? YES. I'm one of the people who reads Walter as gay yet this pairing has a GRIP on me. I think it's because Walter and Una are both just so soft so it's sweet in the most bittersweet of ways. Also, something about how Walter fears violence/death and yet is savagely capable of it, and Una losing her mother at such a young age scratches my brain. They're soft, but they're not shallow; both of them have hidden griefs that shape their characters.

2. Phil/Jonas (Anne Series)

QUEEN PHIL QUEEN PHIL. I love how they balance each other out, I love how Phil leaves all her frothy wealth for a young man with large ears, i love how Jonas helps Phil decide things. Phil is just such a great character, and Jonas is the perfect foil for her, someone who appreciates her humor but also understands the concept of reverence. just *chef's kiss*

[blatant cheating] Alexander Abraham/Peter (Short Stories)

LISTEN I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS SHORT STORY. It is absolutely my favorite. I include it on the convenient technicality that it takes place in Avonlea and Anne is mentioned, so it IS a side pairing in the Anne series! Picture this: you have a spinster with no regrets, neat, tidy, involved in the community, who loves cats and hates men (never forget her famous quote, "The more I saw of men, the more I liked cats", icon) Then, you have infamous bachelor, hater of woman, lover of dogs, cantankerous and antisocial. AND THEY GET STUCK TOGETHER IN QUARANTINE. It's the ultimate enemies-to-lovers. "WHAT AN AWFUL WOMAN." makes me crack up. everytime. Peak comedy. Best side pairing ever. someone please read it and tell me what you think.

I love this ask so much, I'm turning it into a challenge: @gogandmagog and @no-where-new-hero I would LOVE to know ya'lls favorite secondary couples if ya'll care to share!!

#lm montgomery #pat of silver bush #emily of new moon #aogg #the story girl #rilla of ingleside

[crissiebaby]

Stepmother Knows Best, Pt. 1

DISCLAIMER: This story contains diaper usage, humiliation, crossdressing, vibrator play, domination, and other ABDL themes. I hope you enjoy!

Commissioned By: Anon

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*Clink!*

“Mmmmmm…that’s delicious!” said Rachel as she let the subtly sweet flavor linger on her tongue. Raising the teacup to her lips again, she took in the heavenly aroma before taking her second sip, “If I’m not mistaken, I believe I taste black tea vanilla and…coconut.”

Nodding her head with a pleased expression, Deloris was thrilled by how far Rachel had come in her tea education. “Spot on, Rachel! Today’s tea is Orchid Vanilla Tea, which is a black tea infused with coconut and vanilla,” she said, lifting her teacup to Rachel as the two toasted Rachel’s acquired prowess. 

If you had asked Rachel to tell you the specifics of whatever fancy tea she’d been served only six months ago, her answer would’ve been a blank stare and a passive shrug. That all changed when the 40-year-old former dress shop owner fell in love with and married a wealthy film executive. Tossing away the grind of owning a small business for the lifetime of luxury that came with marrying a billionaire, she’d found herself as a tiny fish surrounded by the viciously endless pond that was “the upper class.”

Thankfully, Rachel was lucky enough to have been carefully guided in the ways of affluent behavior by Deloris, who was a legacy member of the Hollywood elite. Descended from a long line of filmmakers, she’d made her name as the lead make-up and hair stylist on numerous major motion pictures, bagging multiple Oscars over her illustrious career. Known as one of the friendliest people to work within the industry, it’s no surprise that she and Rachel immediately hit it off when Rachel moved into the mansion next door with her new husband, the two women bonding over their love of femininity. Having no siblings of her own, it didn’t take long for Rachel to fill that void in her life, becoming the younger sister she never had.

“More tea?” said Deloris in a mockingly regal voice, offering the fine-china teapot forward to Rachel.

Holding up her glass to the teapot’s spout, Rachel graciously accepted a second serving. “Why thank you,” she said, mirroring the refined accent that Deloris was using, causing the two women to giggle in unison.

“Ugh! Do you two have to do this every day?!”

Rachel’s joyous laughter came to an abrupt halt as the prickly stem of her rosy new life reared his ugly head. “Like seriously, don’t you have anything better to do than gawk over this same girly shit? Get a life,” said Ryan, Rachel’s “loving” new stepson.

Raised as a member of the wealthy elite from birth, Ryan had entitled and cocky as one would expect a spoiled brat who’s only gotten everything he’s ever wanted might behave. Unlike Deloris, he was far from receptive to Rachel’s arrival, viewing her as no more than just another gold-digging floozy looking for a meal ticket. Beyond the judgment he held for Rachel’s financial status, he also had a deep disdain for how overtly feminine she was with him having grown up idolizing his father’s inherent masculinity. 

Sinking in her chair, the last thing Rachel wanted to do was make waves with her father’s temperamental son. “I’m sorry. We’ll be done by two, I promise,” she said, forcing a smile.

“Good. I’ve got Sara coming over then and I don’t want you two turning the whole house into a lame fest,” said Ryan, walking away feeling good after having the final word. As much as he hated the way his stepmother oozed femininity, it only made her weak in his eyes. With how much of a pushover she was, he often fantasized about her being so desperate to please him that she’d offer to suck his cock on a daily basis. While the thought was tantalizing, he lacked the cojones to ever demand something like that, only able to dream about a scenario like that.

“What a sniveling twat,” said Deloris, appalled by Ryan’s nasty behavior, “You really shouldn’t show your neck and apologize like that. He’ll never take you seriously if he thinks you’re too meek to fight back.” Placing her head in her hands, Rachel was so frustrated by the constant mockery she received from Ryan that she felt like she could cry at any second. “I just don’t know what to do anymore. Do you think I want to let him “alpha male” his way into getting everything he wants? I’ve tried everything and it’s never enough. How could the kind and caring man that I married raise such a cruel son? It’s like he has blinders when it comes to Ryan,” she said, blowing her nose into the silk hanky at her side.

“It doesn’t surprise me that Daddy’s pride and joy never got the discipline he’s had coming to him for a while now. If he was my kid, I would’ve dropped his pants and spanked him right here and now. I don’t care how old he is,” said Deloris, angrily sipping her freshly poured tea before recoiling from the steamy cup, “Mhmm, too hot.”

Sighing, Rachel let her undignified sideshow as she placed her elbows on the table and leaned her chin against the backs of her knuckles. “I’m so jealous of you. You have three lovely little daughters while I got stuck with a man’s man for a son,” she said, scrunching her face into a pout as she allowed her mind to wander, “What I wouldn’t give for Ryan to have been born a girl.”

Lightbulb!

Sitting upright, Deloris's brain was suddenly set ablaze by Rachel’s passing comment. While she’d never acted on it or even told anyone about it, Deloris had always harbored a deep, seemingly-unattainable fantasy: to take a quote-unquote “alpha male” and turn him into a prissy little girl for her own amusement. She’d stay up late fingering herself to fictional stories of men being put in their place as they fell into permanent feminization, dreaming about the prospect of putting her hair and make-up skills to good use and transforming them into a quivering sissy. With the deeply-held belief that everything happens in life for a reason, she truly believed that was the chance she’d been waiting for her whole life. “Hypothetically, if we could make Ryan into a girl…would you want to?

Stopping mid-gulp, Rachel paused as Deloris’s fateful words began to take root in her mind. For a brief moment, she pictured Ryan dressed up in one of the frilly gowns she used to labor over, the thought causing her to snicker. “Hypothetically…” she said as she and Deloris stared into each other's eyes knowingly.

“Yes…hypothetically…” said Deloris, nodding to Rachel with an ear-to-ear grin growing on her face as she raised her teacup to her lips, “Ah, still too hot.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

“What the actual fuck?! That was a fucking headshot, you cheap fucking game!” shouted Ryan, slamming her fist on the desk in a flash of aggression. His leg began to bounce impatiently as he waited for the respawn timer to tick down.

*KNOCK KNOCK!*

Inching Ryan’s bedroom door open, Rachel gingerly poked her head in. “Um, hey, Ryan, you got a minute?” she said, powering through the anxiety that was telling her to turn and run.

“Shhhjhhjhsh!” shouted Ryan as he focused back in on his game. For the next two minutes, he played out the rest of the match without saying another word to Rachel, culminating in a glorious comeback victory by the end. Slamming his fists on the counter in victory this time, he jumped up from he said and screamed, “WOOOOO! GET FUCKING REKT, KID! DID YOU FUCKING SEE THAT SHIT?!” He looked back at Rachel and gestured to his accomplishment, too amped to hate on his stepmother for once.

“That was…quite something,” said Rachel, having no clue what on Earth just happened in his game despite watching over his shoulder for two whole minutes, “Listen, I wanted to apologize for earlier. Deloris and I have agreed to move our tea time to her house from now on so we won’t disturb you. Oh! And I’ve got some cookies cooling on the stove downstairs to make it up to you. Wanna join me for some?” In the back of her mind, she prayed that she hadn’t rambled through her rehearsed dialogue too quickly so as not to tip him off that something was up.

Mercifully for Rachel, Ryan thought nothing ill of her offering, instead letting a smug expression sink into his face as he believed this was finally trying to kiss his ass like she should’ve been doing this whole time. Exiting the cue for his next match, he got up from his desk and stretched his arms, taking his time before responding, “I suppose it couldn’t hurt. Hopefully, you’re a better baker than you are a decorator.” He smiled wickedly, watching for any sign of reaction from Rachel over his dig at the updates she had made to his father’s house.

However, Rachel remained stone-faced, biting down hard on the inside of her bottom lip to keep from flinching. She could taste the small amount of metallic blood leaking onto her tongue and washing away the delightful flavor of her tea. As annoying as the pinch of pain was, it was all worth it to keep from letting Ryan get to her again. “Excellent. They should be finished cooling so let’s head on down,” she said, leading Ryan out of his room and down the hall toward the stairs. As she reached the staircase, though, she stopped and lowered her posture before turning to look at Ryan with pleading eyes, “Actually, before we head down, would you mind doing a small favor for me? There’s this box that the movers placed on a really high shelf in my closet that I’m neither tall enough nor strong enough to get. I would be super grateful if you’d help me out.”

Cringing at the thought of entering his stepmother’s ultra-fem walk-in closet, Ryan backed away, breathing in sharply through his gritted teeth. “Err…I dunno,” he said, raising both hands as if he could physically push away the idea, “If it’s all the same, I rather not-”

“Ah, darn, I figured you wouldn’t want to. Your father wouldn’t step foot in there either. If you ask me, it’s one of the few moments he’s ever appeared unmanly to me. I’ve never understood why men make such a big deal about a bunch of fabric. Don’t worry about it, though. Just forget I said anything and let’s go have some cookies,” she said, waiting for the inevitable as she turned to head downstairs.

Before Rachel could even take her first step, Ryan grabbed her by the arm. “Well, hold on now. It’s really no big deal to me. I uh…just didn’t want your cookies to get cold. If it’s only one box, it shouldn't be a problem,” he said, taking advantage of an opportunity to outdo his dad while simultaneously impressing his stepmother with his masculinity, “Lead the way!”

Traveling through the master bedroom, Rachel and Ryan entered a room that could only be described as the peak of feminine luxury. How a space this massive could ever be considered a closet was pure nonsense. It looked more like a high-end clothing boutique than someone’s personal wardrobe. There were rows upon rows of every type of female clothing imaginable, with an entire wall dedicated to shoe storage. Despite all the glitter fabrics and shiny shoes glimmering under the studio-grade lights, it was the solid gold vanity that stood out the most; its grand design and elaborate detail work being something to truly marvel at.

“Ugh! It looks like a spoiled princess threw up in here! There’s no way you could ever wear all of this useless crap!” stated Ryan, disgusted by the feminine opulence and the flowery scent that permeated the closet.

Brushing Ryan’s rude comment aside, Rachel simply shrugged. “It may seem silly to a strong man like you but there’s something so comforting about being engulfed by femininity,” said Rachel as she pointed to a massive department store box stashed high up on a shelf stationed above a rack of fur coats, “It’s that box right over there.”

Cracking his knuckles, Ryan readied himself to step up to the plate. “I’ll get that down, no problem,” he said confidently, hopping up on his tip toes as he reached up to grab the large, white, and pink box.

However, right as Ryan was about to pull the box down, Deloris stepped out from behind the rack of coats, surprising him with the self-defense spray that she kept in her purse at all times. The spray worked quickly, its sensory-depriving inhibitors causing Ryan to crumble onto the fluffy carpet. His vision became fuzzy and his hearing began to dampen as his stepmother and her tea buddy stood over him.

“Seriously, best $40 I’ve ever spent. Get yourself some. It works so much better than pepper spray,” said Deloris, tucking the self-defense spray back into her purse.

Kneeling next to Ryan’s limp body as his eyes slowly started to shutter, Rachel pinched his cheek and offered him a warm smile. “See you when you wake up, pumpkin,” she said, her words being the last thing Ryan heard as he passed out. 

-------------------------------------------------------------

Ryan’s lip twitched, feeling a series of something light like a feather brushing against his cheeks. He contorted his face, trying to scratch the itch that just kept moving around on his face like a bug. Oh Goddess, please don’t let it be a bug. He went to wipe away whatever was ticking his face but found that he was unable to move his arms. In fact, after a brief moment of struggling, he discovered that he couldn’t move any part of his body. Even though his eyes were closed, he could tell he was sitting upright, making the lack of mobility even odder. Though, the oddest thing of all was the feeling of tight, smooth fabric hugging his torso from his chest all the way down to his hips. He didn’t know what was going on but something in his gut told him he was in danger.

“Oh, I think he’s finally.”

“Hehe, now the real fun begins.”

Instantly, Ryan recognized the voices of her stepmother and her tea party friend. All at once, a rush of memories filled back into his brain, recalling that he’d accompanied his stepmother to her walking-in closet before everything went dark. Sniffing the air, he could still smell the floral scent that wafted through the air, so he had to still be in the closet. That’s when it hit him. That crazy tea lady had sprung out of the collection of animal skins and blasted him in the face with something that made him pass out. It was no longer just his gut telling him that danger was present.

Opening his eyes, Ryan was greeted by the piercing studio lighting that made up Rachel’s closet. As his eyes adjusted, he saw a strange girl he had never met before sitting across from him wearing nothing but lingerie. From the nose down, she had perfect, ruby-red lips that shined against the flattering lights, with a plethora of foundation and contour caked on to soften her chin and jawline while accentuating her cheekbones and petite facial features. Meanwhile, her eyes were still having work done, with the peachy eyeshadow being left half-done. “I’m sorry, do I…” he muttered, raising an eyebrow in confusion as the girl across from him moved her mouth at the time he did. As he did so, the girl raised her eyebrow as well, mimicking him once again. After a few more seconds of staring, it finally clicked, “W-What the FuCK IS GOING ON?!”

Looking down at his body, Ryan began frantically pulling against his restraints as he gazed upon the same lingerie that he had seen in his reflection. Pathetically, he snuck another glance at himself, slightly amazed but also horrified by how much like a girl Deloris had managed to make him look. “Untie me right fucking now! You think my dad will stand for this?! Your ass is going back out on the street where he found your money-grubbing ass,” he said, thrusting his height upward and causing the chair to bounce in place.

“Oh, you think so?” said Deloris, crossing in front of Ryan and stepping over his legs to straddle them. She made sure to tease him a little, wiggling her butt on his pointed lap as she settled into place on his thighs, “Because what do you think he’s more likely to believe? That your new mother and I overpowered you and forced you to dress up like this, or that his sissy son snuck into Mommy’s closet for some private dress-up time? If you ask me, one of these seems far more plausible than the other.”

Left in stunned silence at how bold Deloris was acting, Ryan’s eyes darted to Rachel’s reflection, hoping that his stepmother would reign in her far more domineering friend. Sadly, she did nothing more than flash him the same sadistic smile that Deloris was sporting. Realizing he’d never be able to intimidate them into letting him go, he lowered his head and began sniffling, “P-Please let me go. I promise I w-won’t say anything,” he said, hoping to appeal to a woman’s kind heart.

Sadly, there was no kindness to be found. “Oh, don’t worry, we fully intend on letting you go…so long as you play nice with us girls, that is,” said Rachel, showcasing a much more confident attitude now that she didn’t have to bend over backward to please her misogynistic stepson as she let her arms drape over Ryan’s shoulders. She slowly ran her finger softly along his chin, relishing in the sheer feeling of his freshly-shaven face, “If you sit still and let us finish our makeover, we promise to get you back into your old clothes before your old man gets home from work. However, if you keep being lippy with me and your Aunt Deloris, then we’ll have no choice but to leave you like this for your father. Do we have an understanding?”

As much as Ryan wanted to tell Rachel and Deloris to go fuck themselves, he knew there was little choice so long as he didn’t want to tarnish the manly image his father had of him. Shakily nodding his head, he stuttered out a small, “yes,” sealing his feminized fate.

Given the green light from Ryan, Deloris resumed her work as she added a heavy dusting of eye shadow. Not that she needed a green light, per se. It was more of a courtesy than anything. “See, it’s not so bad, right? Plus, it really brings out the blue in your eyes. All the boys are going to be hypnotized by your beauty,” she said purely for her own satisfaction.

Groaning from behind his pouty expression, Ryan had less than zero interest when it came to attracting guys. As much as he hated to admit it though, Deloris was right. Each time he caught sight of himself in the mirror, a tiny flutter filled his heart, one not too dissimilar from the feeling he got when looking into Sara’s dreamy eyes.

As Deloris put the cap back on the peach eye shadow, Ryan hoped that this would mean an end to his make-up session. Sadly, the eye shadow was only the beginning. Next, came eyeliner and mascara, both of which put quite a strain on his eyes as he struggled to keep his eyes from watering. Not that it would have mattered since Rachel was quick to comment, “Tears of joy over finally seeing the real you? Go ahead and let it out all you want to. Your make-up is waterproof for a reason.”

Following the eye torture that came from the pitch-black products, Ryan was introduced to perhaps the most unique form of agony that he’d ever been subjected to. “Now, hold very still. I don’t want to prick you,” said Deloris as she brought a pair of tweezers close to Ryan’s eyebrows. He wanted to protest but it only took a single time of him flinching and being stabbed by the sharp point of the tweezers to keep him still. Every hair that was pulled from the pair of fuzzy wigglers over his eyes was akin to going through Chinese water torture. By the time his first eyebrow was finished, he didn’t even care how feminine he looked. He just wanted Deloris to finish as fast as possible.

Plucking the last tiny hair from the far side of his left eye, Deloris stepped back to get a full look at his face, a malicious smirk growing on her face. “Goddess, I am good. I don’t even think his father would recognize him now,” she said, prompting Rachel to join her in admiring the rebirth of her new stepdaughter.

“Heck, I don’t even recognize him and I watched you do it!” shouted Rachel as both girls fell into a fit of giggles.

As the ladies laughed, Ryan could only grimace at his reflection, not wanting to see what had become of him but also unable to look away. As Deloris moved back in and began spritzing a setting spray on his face, he could actively feel the grip he had on his masculinity slipping. To make matters worse, the silky fabric and constant humiliation in combination with seeing his new form completed caused an unfortunate chain reaction in his loins. Feeling the tingling sensations creeping throughout his shaft, he bit down on his tongue hard, hoping to quell his heightened arousal.

Tragically, Ryan’s efforts were all for naught as Rachel got sight of the tiny point sticking out of his satin and lace panties. She quickly rushed over to Deloris, who was halfway through her finishing touches on Ryan’s make-up, and whispered into her ear.

The two girls began laughing once again, causing Ryan’s heart rate to elevate and, in turn, his hard-on to pulse slightly faster. “What devious scheme were these two planning now?” he thought, far from excited to find out the answer.

Stepping out of Ryan’s direct line of sight, Rachel reached into her pocket and pulled out a small remote. From the second she and Deloris had gotten Ryan fitted into lingerie, she’d been chomping at the bit to reveal the big surprise to her stepson. And now that he was properly stiffened, it was the perfect opportunity to further shove him down the path of permanent sissification. 

While Ryan assumed he was just wearing regular-degular lingerie, the truth was far more sinister thanks to the Valentine’s Day present that his father had bought for Rachel only a handful of months prior. Wrapped delicately around Ryan’s waist and prodding pecker was a pair of remote-controlled vibrating panties with five glorious settings to bring any good girl to her knees. With her thumb on the remote, she made sure to watch every inch of Ryan’s body for a reaction as she clicked the vibrator on.

*bzzzzzzzzzzzz*

An instant shiver was sent up Ryan’s spine before spreading across his body in a series of chills. His eyes went wide and his lip started to quiver as the low rumble of his vibrating panties worked to egg on his cock’s growing need for attention. And the attention he did get as Rachel stormed back up to him and cupped her hand tightly around his dick and balls, increasing the sensations felt from the panty’s internal vibrator. “Your dad was so nice to buy me these but they're not really my style,” she said, wiggling her fingers on the underside of Ryan’s testicles as her palm brushed against the head of his penis, “Do you think your father ever would allow me to put these on him? Of course, not. But you don’t need to worry about that anymore since you’ll never be the man he is.”

It was all too much. The ceaseless vibrations of the panties. The aggressive tightness of his restraints. The sheer sensuality of his silky lingerie. The cruel taunting from Rachel. The overwhelming feeling of femininity ensnared his heart and soul. All of this added up to send his pleasure receptors well past the point of no return. Rachel had only been gripping Ryan’s privates for thirty seconds, but that was all it took for his cock to start spurting out semen. He uttered a squealing moan as his body convulsed, raptured by the most shameful and glorious orgasm of his life.

Pulling her hand away, Rachel grabbed a make-up wipe and cleaned off the droplets of spunk that clung to her fingers. “I don’t think there’s any way you could argue now. You are officially as sissy as sissy can be,” she said, tossing the used wipe aside and returning to Ryan’s side to stroke his shoulder-length hair, “You sure we don’t want to give him a girlier hairstyle? I agree that the mid-length is good but we could give him bangs or something.” 

Shaking her head without looking away from Ryan’s face, Deloris responded, “Seldom few people can pull off bangs properly. Besides, if we cut his hair any shorter, they’ll be less to play with.” The two girls chuckled once again, imagining the variety of precious hairstyles they could give him once the make-up game ended and the dress-up game began.

*DING DONG! BING BONG!*

Suddenly, Rachel, Deloris, and Ryan all froze as a fancy doorbell sounded off, alerting the trio to the presence of a visitor. “It’s not his father. He would’ve just come in,” said Rachel, who wasn’t aware anyone else would be stopping by today.

Ryan, however, was well aware of who was downstairs. A droplet of sweat ran down his neck as he realized this situation was about to go from bad to worse now that his childhood friend, Sara, had arrived for their two o’clock hangout.

TO BE CONTINUED…

PART 2 PART 3

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Edited by AllySmolShork

#ab/dl #ab/dl art #ab/dl stories #ab/dl girl #ab/dl diaper #diaper art #diaper stories #crissiebaby #diaper messy #wetting diaper #diaper humiliation #sissybaby #diaper sissy #ab dl #ab dl diaper #mommy k!nk #fem dom #md/lb

[beanieman]

what would the Your Turn To Dies reactions be to seeing bigfoot? <3

also i just found out that you can mess with the text like that and make it colors and stuff

Sara Chidouin - Sara is shocked but it quick to move and take a picture so she has real undeniable proof. Unfortunately the picture ends up coming out as blurry. Joe believes what she saw though, so it's still a win.

Joe Tazuna - Joe is so excited to take a picture and show Sara that he ends up accidentally holding his finger over the lens because he's not quite paying attention to what he's doing.

Gin Ibushi - Gin is frightened and hangs onto Mew-Chan until it leaves. Then when it's gone, he decides he wants to learn more and gains a cryptid special interest.

Keiji Shinogi - Keiji handles it way too calmly. He just watches for awhile and then goes "Huh."

More Undercut

Alice Yabusame - Alice freaks out and runs to other way. By the time his feet stop he's not even 100% sure what he saw.

Reko Yabusame - Reko is just upset that she know has another type of strange being to be scared of. First ghosts and now bigfoot? Good grief.

Nao Egokoro - Nao hides behind a tree so it doesn't see her. Afterwards she's regretful because she didn't get a full view so she can't paint it properly.

Kazumi Mishima - Mishima would watch in fascination. He thinks it's an incredible thing to see and proudly tells his students about his unusual experience.

Q-taro Burgerberg - He yells and for sure draws attention to himself. I don't know what would happen after that because I'm the YTTD guy not the bigfoot guy.

Kai Satou - Kai is fascinated and watches for awhile in silence, frying pan in hand just in case it gets to close.

Kanna Kizuchi - Kanna screams because she's so shocked but she somehow ends up befriending the creature in the end. She's always been good at seeing the good traits in scary people.

Shin Tsukimi - He tries to take a picture for proof, and then on his way back he drops his phone in a puddle and loses his only proof forever. Thus he spends the rest of his life obsessively researching the creature to prove himself right.

Dolls

Ranmaru Kageyama - Ranmaru's eyes widen as he stares in shock for a beat. Then he keeps watching in a sullen manner because he knows no one will ever believe with.

Naomichi Kurumada - The part of Naomichi that's a boxer wants to fight it. The part of him that's intelligent and analytical knows that he should get out of the area immediately.

Anzu Kinashi - She's just surprised that a man could be that hairy.

Mai Tsurugi - Mai pulls out a knife just in case it tries to attack her. After it leaves she uses it as an interesting story to tell her clients at the bakery.

Shunsuke Hayasaka - His reaction is just "Yeah. This might as well happen to me."

Hinako Mishuku - She's torn between wanting to throw something at it and "What the hell?!"

#your turn to die #yttd #asks #sara chidouin #keiji shinogi #kanna kizuchi #joe tazuna #q taro burgerberg #shin tsukimi #reko yabusame #nao egokoro #gin ibushi #mishima kazumi #alice yabusame #kai satou #hinako mishuku #shunsuke hayasaka #mai tsurugi #anzu kinashi #naomichi kurumada #ranmaru kageyama

[vrnvuld]

Louise Glück, Seizure

Andrea Salvatori, Testone

Mikko Harvey, Wind-Related in the Wheatfield

Jane Austen, Letters

Ruth Awad, In the gloaming, in the roiling night

Anne Sexton, A Self Portrait in Letters

Eden Robinson, Writing Prompts for the Broken-hearted

this is like a massive post because this is also our final farnauld playlist that's made of four parts. it's meant to tell their full story <3 can't say we really expect anyone to read through this or even check the songs but if someone wants a really weird playlist, u can listen to it here xx

ACT I: WE JUST PLAY ALONG, COME ON, COME ON

001. TRY TRY TRY --- RACHAEL SAGE. 002. I’M NOT CALLING YOU A LIAR --- FLORENCE + THE MACHINE. 003. COME ON --- WHITE LIES. 004. ON DIRECTING --- TEGAN & SARA. 005. POISON --- VAULTS.  006. EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE --- DENMARK + WINTER. 007. CANDLES --- DAUGHTER. 008. WICKED TEETH --- CIARAN LAVERY. 009. AFFECTION --- AMBER RUN.

this is the part where they get together. they're off-balance. he's playing his own game and she's trying to make everything work together. this is the first time cracks begin to form within the croÿ ranks. this part of the playlist is a mixture of songs that are fairly dark. the most notable lyrics can be found in ' poison ': " we both know you're sweet and blind / palm struck on the floor // won't you let me poison your heart ? ". isa posted this part of the playlist years ago and it's here x.

ACT II: THERE'S HISTORY IN A SCAR

010. PURGE --- ALLIE X. 011. WE USED TO LAUGH / 9 TO 9 --- FLORA CASH. 012. HYENA --- THE EDITORS. 013. LIFFEY --- PILLOW QUEENS. 014. SPIDERS --- THE EDITORS. 015. TIME COMES IN ROSES --- BESS ATWELL. 016. I'M NOT YOURS --- ANGUS & JULIA STONE. 017. PETRICHOR --- KEATON HENSON.

this would be the post-break up era. their numerous conversations and arnauld's relentless bullying. the wounds were raw, incredibly so and arnauld had a need to show her the mistake she had made by cutting him so. fanni on the other hand struggled between feeling proud of her decision and knowing she had let go of more than just a person she loved: it was the opportunity to build a life outside of her family. both of them tormented each other just by existing. it was difficult to hate someone you loved. it was difficult to despise someone you had known so well. the sensitivity eventually made space for some sort of a relationship. they could hold conversations. they could blackmail each other and remind the other how deep their knowledge of the other went. the first two songs most certainly represent fanni and her struggles. in ' purge ' we get the lines: " you went anyway, but all of your chains / and ropes holding me stayed in place " and " every word you told me left such a rancid taste in my mouth / i can't purge you ". we had ' we used to laugh / 9 to 9 " on every edit back in 2019. it was such a perfect song for them at that time. " you said i won't ever leave your side no one else is worth my while no one else is worth my while were you like that all the time ? did you repeat this from 9 to 9 ? never come back never come back you put a hole in and opened up my heart put me down in my darkest dark we used to laugh we used to laugh " then we have the editors songs that got chosen for the darkness. arnauld was doing his best to get fanni to beg for forgiveness. the bitterness was felt constantly. ' liffey ' on the other hand is arnauld's realization that he's not in charge of himself or the situation. he is absolutely ruined and she holds far too much power — it's not just arnauld who knows secrets and ways to manipulate the other, fanni's just as capable !

ACT III: WHEN I LOSE MY HEAD, I LOSE MY SPINE

018. COOL ABOUT IT --- BOYGENIUS. 019. LUCKY FOR YOU --- NOVO AMOR, GIA MARGARET. 020. I MISS YOU, I'M SORRY --- GRACIE ABRAMS. 021. DAYDREAMS --- EXES. 022. SEABED --- NANNA. 023. LATE NIGHT TALKS --- DEPORTEES. 024. HEAVENLY --- CIGARETTES AFTER SEX 025. HOPELESS WANDERER --- MUMFORD & SONS. 026. THAT'S WHEN ( TV ) --- TAYLOR SWIFT.

this part is about their healing journey. when the mind games stopped. when it was just two people. a fairly wholesome part in their story. they had affection for one another and perhaps for the first time they did not have some role to play. it was just friendship ( or at least as platonic a relationship as it could be between these two ). some codependency issues existed, of course. fanni needed a shoulder. arnauld liked being needed by her. ' late night talks ' is possibly the most spot on song in part iii. in it we get: " the phone rings / in the middle of the night / i can tell you're upset / i'm here / and i'm ready to work ". ' seabed ' is incredibly touching too and probably our favourite track. it's a good peek into fanni's fragile state of mind. " and you caught me off guard, and / i was never lonely / but now i'm feeling like an only child / let me sink into you arms / you're the ocean floor / i guess i just needed that ". the songs in this section are vulnerable and beautiful. ' lucky for you ' has a line that made it earn its spot: " and i'm not what i thought i would be without you ".

ACT IV: I'VE OUTGROWN THE PAST

027. I WANT YOU --- MO. 028. YOU'RE SO COOL --- NICOLE DOLLANGANGER. 029. LIGHTS CHANGING COLOR --- STARS. 030. LIVING ROOM, NY --- LAURA STEVENSON. 031. SIGNAL FIRE --- SNOW PATROL. 032. BLOODCLOT / ANDVAKA --- NANNA. 033. CRACK THE SHUTTERS --- SNOW PATROL. 033. SEND FOR ME --- THE NATIONAL. 034. THIS LAND IS MINE --- DIDO. 035. THIS LOVE (TV) --- TAYLOR SWIFT. 036. I WILL FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARK --- MIYA FOLICK. 037. COSMIC LOVE --- FLORENCE + THE MACHINE. 038. SHALLOWS --- DAUGHTER.

this is the happily-ever-after part because they've been so sad for such a long time. we seriously considered not having them end up together but they deserve each other <3 <3 this section has love songs but we managed to sprinkle a few darker ones too because fanni and arnauld have never been simple and sweet. ' this love ' is probably the stand out song, it seems so fitting ! i mean c'mon: " this love is alive back from the dead / these hands had to let it go free, and / this love came back to me ". not to make things too cheesy though we have ' lights changing color ', which is by no means a negative song but it's more about staying out of one's head and, well, happy ! " when you find that the ones that keep you lifted / love them 'cause they keep you out of your head / they keep you out of your head / they keep you steady ". the songs are quite mellow and sound pretty fragile in a sense, save for a few tracks. the last two songs are more abstract. ' cosmic love ' is possibly one of the most beautiful songs on this playlist and to ever exist. i can see their devotion to each other growing into something blinding. this maybe relates to fanni more, she seems more likely to make love and her life with arnauld the only thing she surrounds herself with. there's just that and nothing else. but... arnauld is not too far from this state. he'll be able to reason with himself and he has his duties, but considering how recklessly he acts all things fanni... " i took the stars from my eyes and then i made a map / and knew that somehow i could find my way back / then i heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too / so i stayed in the darkness with you... " the playlist ends with ' shallows ' because it was so serene. serene and hauntingly beautiful. it's a sister-song to ' i will follow you into the dark '. when one parts from this world, will the other come find them when it's time ?

#[ ;; fanni. ]