Tumgik
#but then when I put the frame up everything
prokopetz · 8 hours
Text
I think a lot of folks in indie RPG spaces misunderstand what's going on when people who've only ever played Dungeons & Dragons claim that indie RPGs are categorically "too complicated". Yes, it's sometimes the case that they're making the unjustified assumption that all games are as complicated as Dungeons & Dragons and shying away from the possibility of having to brave a steep learning cure a second time, but that's not the whole picture.
A big part of it is that there's a substantial chunk of the D&D fandom – not a majority by any means, but certainly a very significant minority – who are into D&D because they like its vibes or they enjoy its default setting or whatever, but they have no interest in actually playing the kind of game that D&D is... so they don't.
Oh, they'll show up at your table, and if you're very lucky they might even provide their own character sheet (though whether it adheres to the character creation guidelines is anyone's guess!), but their actual engagement with the process of play consists of dicking around until the GM tells them to roll some dice, then reporting what number they rolled and letting the GM figure out what that means.
Basically, they're putting the GM in the position of acting as their personal assistant, onto whom they can offload any parts of the process of play that they're not interested in – and for some players, that's essentially everything except the physical act of rolling the dice, made possible by the fact most of D&D's mechanics are either GM-facing or amenable to being treated as such.*
Now, let's take this player and present them with a game whose design is informed by a culture of play where mechanics are strongly player facing, often to the extent that the GM doesn't need to familiarise themselves with the players' character sheets and never rolls any dice, and... well, you can see where the wires get crossed, right?
And the worst part is that it's not these players' fault – not really. Heck, it's not even a problem with D&D as a system. The problem is D&D's marketing-decreed position as a universal entry-level game means that neither the text nor the culture of play are ever allowed to admit that it might be a bad fit for any player, so total disengagement from the processes of play has to be framed as a personal preference and not a sign of basic incompatibility between the kind of game a player wants to be playing and the kind of game they're actually playing.
(Of course, from the GM's perspective, having even one player who expects you to do all the work represents a huge increase to the GM's workload, let alone a whole group full of them – but we can't admit that, either, so we're left with a culture of play whose received wisdom holds that it's just normal for GMs to be constantly riding the ragged edge of creative burnout. Fun!)
* Which, to be clear, is not a flaw in itself; a rules-heavy game ideally needs a mechanism for introducing its processes of play gradually.
2K notes · View notes
fairy-angel222 · 16 hours
Text
𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐀 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐃? 𓂃 ࣪˖ ཐིཋྀ⋆⭒˚.⋆༄
—gojo satoru x fem! reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media
𓈒⟡₊⋆∘ your husband’s already given you two children, one more wouldn’t hurt right?
𓈒⟡₊⋆∘ cw: fluff, smut, breeding, praise, petnames, squirting, impregnation, dirty talk
𓈒⟡₊⋆∘ a/n: requested by anon, i loved writing this so much
Tumblr media
Eight years.
You and Gojo had been married for eight years. Having met each other in high school, him being the one to get down on one knee the second you both had finished college. He knew you were the one for him ages ago.
That you were his from the moment he met you.
Some would say that you two were living the dream life, despite how young you both were. Gojo never hiding the fact that he was willing to spoil you day by night.
He loved you more than anything. And he never failed to show that through the many acts of affection. His favorite one being buried deep inside you as he whispered the sweet nothings into your ear.
The sex drive of your marriage was high, that was a fact. It was how you ended up with two children in the first place. Two girls who looked exactly like their dad, not even bothering to try with your genes. They had his complexion, his hair, his overly beautiful eyes. They had everything of his.
When you had your first daughter, most people in your life assumed she was an accident. Assumed that Gojo had simply “forgotten” to pull out.
They didn’t know how noisy you’d gotten that night, holding onto your husband tightly as you begged him to fill you up. Begged him to put a baby in you. You wanted to feel all of him.
Your second child was all him. Him begging to give you another one. To pump you nice and full with one more baby. And who were you to say no? You two were building a family and you loved it.
Four and two.
Those were your daughters’ ages, beautiful girls who looked almost identical to each other, obviously. You liked to call them and Gojo triplets. And it made his heart swell knowing that they were something you had both created. Together. Even though they clearly had a favorite already.
His daughters clung to him every second that he was around them. Refusing to let daddy go as your youngest sat in his lap with an adorable grin. Giggling softly as her big sister tied scrunchies into the soft bed of white hair.
“Mommy look! Daddy’s all pretty now,” she clapped, clearly proud of her work as she pulled lightly at the short ponytails.
You watched Gojo grumble under his breath, unable to hide his smile as he looked up at your standing frame. Cheeks tinted red when you laughed softly. “He is baby, he’s very pretty now. Looks just like you two.” Leaning down to peck both their cheeks with a smile of your own.
You yelped softly as you were pulled down, sat on the other side of your husband’s lap as he smirked. “You know who’s just as perfect as you two? Your mommy.”
Your older daughter hummed, cuddling into your lap with a nod. “You are very pretty mommy. Wanna look like you when i get big.”
You couldn’t find the words. As much as you knew that was impossible, it warmed your heart to the core. Especially when your other daughter nodded in agreement, fitting herself on you beside her sister. “You’re very very pretty mommy.”
“Thanks my babies.” You smiled warmly, an arm wrapped around each of them as Gojo wrapped one around you. “Now, you owe me a little kiss too.” He pouted. You giggled, pressing your lips to his in a short kiss before pulling away.
Neither of you wanting to hear the exaggerated ewww that escaped from your daughters’ mouths when you kissed for even a second too long.
You liked to think that you got lucky to have such sweet children. The kind that makes others actually want a child of their own.
You loved your life. Everyone could see that. But it had been way too long since you and Gojo were able to spend some alone time together.
It wasn’t your idea, it was his. And you couldn’t not give in when you allowed yourself to think about it. A weekend all to yourselves with complete privacy. A chance for you both to relax.
It was Friday, and you rung the doorbell to your dear friend Nanami’s house, a childish grin on Gojo’s face as he waited for the door to swing open.
Nanami raised a brow upon seeing you two, a cup of coffee in his hand as if you’d interrupted his peaceful morning.
“Uncle Kentooo!!” Two high pitched voices rung out. Little legs running to hug the blond man by his own. Nanami’s eyes widened momentarily, steadying the mug in his hand away from the two latching on to him.
A small smile gracing his face when they grinned up at him. “Well hello you two.”
Gojo grabbed the cup from his friend when your daughters started making upsie signals with their hands. Nanami picking them both up on either side of his torso, turning sharply on his heel as he asked them about their week.
“If that isn’t the sweetest thing I don’t know what is.” You giggled, Gojo’s hand on the small of your back as you brought in two pink princess bags. “So.. Kento-”
“We need a favor.” Gojo was quick to cut to the chase, Nanami not bothering to even watch him as he let small hands play in his hair. His emotions far from the bored expression on his face.
“I’ll watch them.”
“Thank you so much Kento. My parents will be coming for them tonight.” You smiled, the man only nodding with a hidden shrug. “You’re just lucky they’re nothing like him.” Pointing his head in the direction of the man sat next to you.
“Hey!” Gojo gasped in faux offense, “I’m awesome thank you very much.”
Nanami only scoffed. And you and Gojo stood up to give your girls a final hug and kiss to their foreheads. “We’ll see you on Sunday okay my darlings? Grandma and grandpa will come for you later yeah? Mommy and Daddy love you so much.”
“Uh huh, bye mommy, bye daddy!” They sung together, something else that they tended to do from time to time.
As you walked out of Nanami’s house, ready to go home and pack a few clothes, your head tilted. Confusion evident on your face when you looked up at Gojo. “Doesn’t he have work today?”
“Yeah but he adores them. He’d skip work everyday if he had to.”
It was true, Nanami was one of your biggest supports. He was always willing to take them off your hands for even an hour. He hated to admit it but he loved them like they were his own. He truly thought of himself as an uncle.
You found it adorable how serious he was until he was sure you left. Allowing himself to give into their tea parties and makeovers. He was one of the people you trusted most.
You knew that your daughters were in good hands for the day, especially since Nobara and Yuji would be there. Their inner children coming out whenever they were around your daughters.
Gojo had taken you to a hot spring resort nearly two hours away. One of the best that he could find.
You were in awe the second you stepped into the place. Never getting used to the amount of money Gojo was willing to spend on you.
The room was huge, and to say it was gorgeous was an understatement. But it paled in comparison to the view. The large steaming pools which were adorned with large marble sloped rocks and tall trees. The whole resort enclosed within mountains which seemed to touch the clouds. The sun setting behind beds of luscious green as the sky glimmered pink and orange.
It was perfect.
Snd the first thing you did after settling in was head into the heated waters. Breathing out contented sigh as you sunk neck down. Allowing the warmth to calm every last one of your nerves. The tension you didn’t even know you had in your shoulder slowing subsiding as you leaned your head back onto one of the large rocks.
“This is amazing.” You smiled, blinking your eyes open to look at your husband, who kept complaining that the area he was in was too hot. Not allowing himself to go any further than his legs until you pulled him into a hug.
Letting the water flow in place at your shoulders. Ignoring the over dramatic faces that your husband was making at the “heat”, simply resting your head in his neck as you relaxed in each other’s arms.
The tv blared ever so slightly as you cuddled into Gojo’s side. The coolness of the room unable to beat the warmth that still stuck to your skin. You had just got off a call with the girls. They were at their grandparents’ house. No doubt having way too much dessert before bed. Though they’d most likely get to stay up late watching cartoons.
“You know..” Gojo started, his fingers trailing soft shapes on your skin, “We should have another one.”
You lifted your head off of his chest, “I don’t think they’ll sell us drinks right now love.”
“I’m not talking about drinks.” Your stomach fluttered when Gojo turned you over, his knee in between your thigh as his lips ghosted over your ear. “I’m talking about putting another baby in you.” Allowing it to brush over your clothed clit.
Your lips parted in a whimper when he kissed down your neck. Swiftly pulling off your shirt to kiss at your chest, taking each of your nipples into his mouth while he fondled the other. Your hips bucking up into him when he began grinding his hips slowly into you.
You shivered when his lips touched your belly. Peppering it with small kisses as he hummed against your skin. “Let me make your belly swell.”
You moaned softly, nodding your head eagerly. “P-please.”
“Hmm, gonna give me a third one sweet girl? Gonna make us a pretty family of five?” He husked, kisses getting more aggressive as he trailed back up. His cock twitching at the little whimpers that you failed to contain when you made a noise of agreement.
“Mhm, ‘m gonna give you another one. Wanna give you another one.”
“Yeah?” He breathed, looking for that final bit of confirmation before his lips smashed onto yours. The kiss hard and needy as he worked on removing the rest of your clothes. His fingers dipping down between your folds with a groan. “You’re so soaked f’ me pretty.”
He ran his hand up your slit teasingly, rubbing tiny circles onto your clit making you whine out. “Toruu, no teasing.”
He chuckled, his thick cock prodding at your entrance as he lifted your legs to wrap around his waist. Your hands instinctively draping around his shoulders so that he was pressed into you. A loud moan sounding through the room as he sank into you.
You let a small mewl escape your lips with every movement of his hips. His thrusts gradually increasing in pace till he was hammering into you. Pulling his length almost all the way out before slamming it back into you.
Bright blue eyes met yours, your breathing getting heavier as your back arched off the bed. Nails digging into the skin of his back as you were rocked back and forth. Your husband’s thick cock stretching you out so deliciously as it repeatedly kissed your sweet spot. The position allowing him so deep inside you that he bulged lightly in your stomach.
“Toru, nngh— so good. Ahh.” You were getting noisy. Your cute babbles mixing with the loud echoes of his skin hitting yours. The mere force of his loving making it twice as loud.
You could only moan shakily as you pulled him even closer. Drool covered lips parting in sweet cries when your nails scratched down his back. “O-oh fuck. Ahhh.”
“Taking me so well. My pretty little wifey, can’t wait to see you carrying my child again. Fuck,” He grunted, squelching noises growing louder as your sticky pussy leaked onto your thighs and his. The whole roomed filled with your lewd sounds of pleasure as you both fell into each other. “Gonna fill you up real good baby. Stuff that messy pussy so full of my cum and watch that belly swell.”
Your legs trembled at his words, your hold on him tightening as the rhythmic slapping clouded your brain. Your vision blurring with tears as your stomach tightened. Every nerve along your walls being set on fire as you were fucked like you’d disappear in any moment.
Gojo’s sinking to elbows at the sides of your head for you to cry into his broad chest when you felt yourself nearing your high. “Toruu— so good Toruu, so g-good.”
“Hmm you’re close f’me,” he groaned, your pussy holding him snug as your body shook. “Shit, gonna make you a mama of three. Gonna give it to ya so deep— f-fuckk. Look at me when you cum.” He whispered lowly, your glassy eyes peeling open to blink up at him dumbly.
“Nngh— ‘m, a-ahhh, Toru ‘m so c-close.” You couldn’t think. Your brain unable to process anything but him and the way his cock was fucking into you so good. Your thoughts blanking out as you were engulfed by an indescribable pleasure. Mouth opened in a final cry as you fell off the edge.
“That’s it. Cum f’ me baby. Make a fucking mess on my cock. There you go— just like that.” His thrusts never slowed as a high pitched scream bubbled in your throat. Your body trembling uncontrollably beneath him as you let go. Sopping pussy gushing all over him just the way he liked it. His thrusts never losing their pace as you squirted with a continuous string of moans.
Your husband’s thrusts got sloppy. Head falling into the crook of your neck as he unknowingly slowed down. His thrusts hard and deep as he moaned into your delicate skin. Finding it adorable how your little mewls began to match his pace.
“Love this pussy so fucking much. Could pump her full of my cum every fucking day. Shit— here it comes baby.” His slow thrusts synced with his words, lips capturing yours hungrily as he buried himself deep inside you. Tip sat at your cervix’s entrance when his cock twitched. Spurts after spurts of the the thick substance flooding your insides with heat.
Gojo pulled away from you, a small string of saliva connecting your lips to each other’s. You stayed clung to him like a koala to a tree. Tiredly smiling up at him when he pecked your nose. “If we keep having children every two years we’ll end up with fifty grandkids.”
He chuckled, resting his forehead against yours. “So, what are we gonna name her?”
“Her?”
“You have only sisters baby, i don’t think it’s in your genes to have a boy.” He joked, both of you laughing as you thought to the truth of his words.
“I wouldn’t mind a boy,” You sighed softly, using your finger to brush away the loose strands of hair that fell over his eyes. “I think he’d look just like you.”
Gojo’s hand rested on your belly, using his thumb to rub over it softly. “I’d love either, only cause i’d know that i made them with you.”
Your heart skipped a beat. “I love you so much.”
“ And I love you more than you could ever imagine sweet girl.”
1K notes · View notes
Text
Too Sweet
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Summary: Getting divorced from your ex wife after a measly two years of marriage wasn’t exactly your plan, so now you’re packing up and moving back to your quiet small town, will old flings bring back even older feelings?
an: Count on me to hop from dark brooding vampire Ellie to high school sweethearts Ellie within the same month. Let’s just be completely honest, are you even apart of this community if you haven’t dabbled in mechanic!ellie? Long story short, I’m a sucker for a summer romance, so I hope you all enjoy!
Warnings: MDNI!! eventual smut in later chapters!!, this one is sickly sweet I’m sorry (but also very angsty), reader is a bit of a tough cookie at the beginning of this (her hearts broken and her walls are back up what do you want me to do), mentions of cheating (no main characters don’t worry, mentions of alcohol consumption (all characters are 21+ ofc), lots of flashbacks, lots of kissing, pet names (baby, princess, angel, and a few special ones), mentions of cigarettes, pls lmk if I missed anything!!
The summer breeze was cool against your body, the linen blanket protecting your bare legs from the prickly grass, the stars even seemed extra brighter, almost putting on a show for you and Ellie as you both gazed up at them.
The summer after your senior year of high school seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye. One moment, you were walking across the stage in front of your entire class, taking she diploma you’d worked for since you were in kindergarten, all of those countless years of school finally coming to that moment, and the next, you’re laid out on the ground in your backyard with Ellie, soaking in the feeling of your last night together before it was time to leave for college.
You noticed Ellie’s hand reach up, finger pointing to a small pair of stars at the very corner of the deep navy blue sky.
“See those two? Tucked away in the corner? I think that one’s us…” she hummed out. It sounded like she was sure of it too, like it was a well known fact that she was simply sharing with you. It makes you giggle, rolling over to straddle the girl beneath you.
And it’s like the very stars above are in her eyes when she’s looking up at you, her hands caressing your soft, bare thighs, watching as your hair frames your face oh so perfectly. One of her hands reaches up, tucking it behind your ear as she gives you a soft smile.
“Who told you could be so fuckin pretty?” She pouts out playfully, almost angry with how beautiful you are. It makes you roll your eyes, bringing your hand down and giving her cheek a soft pinch.
“Shut up…” you mumble out, quickly becoming shy beneath your girlfriend’s gaze.
In that moment, you realize just how much you’ll miss moments like this. You were going off to the big city to live your dreams and go to college, and Ellie was staying behind because frankly, school was never really her thing. You knew that when both your decisions had been made, that it would more than likely affect your relationship. The thought makes you frown, and Ellie notices immediately.
She’s giving your thigh a soft pinch, sitting up and giving you all her attention.
“I thought we said no pouting today…you promised” she sighs out, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. It doesn’t really help, your hands loosely wrapping around her shoulders as you stare down at her lap that you’re settled on.
“I just…know that everything will change tomorrow” you sigh out, a soft pout on your lips as you avoid Ellie’s gaze.
She hums out in understanding, listening to your worries, simply allowing you to voice them. She lets a moment pass by before she responds.
“It’ll only change if we let it…I’ll come visit you all the time, and you need to come back to bake me and my dad cookies” she hums out nonchalantly, giving you a gentle shrug, which only earns a soft huff and a nudge from you to her shoulder.
“I’m serious El…I hate the idea of being without you…” you huff out softly. She chuckles as you give her a shove before she leans in to give you another soft kiss.
“I am being serious…” she drawls out, pulling away from you and cupping your cheek softly, staring into your eyes with so much love and care, it was almost unbearable.
“You’ll always be my girl…you know that” her voice is above a whisper, as if you and her were the only two people in the world. Sat there, in the quiet back yard of your even quieter neighborhood, the wind chimes clanking together on the front porch, paired with the sound of the rustling of the trees in the breeze, all of it coming together to create something of a perfect lullaby that can only be described as Ellie.
And her words make your heart bloom, giving you the hope that you needed to wake up in the morning and start your journey as a small town girl in the big city, knowing that if all else fails, you’d always have your Ellie to look forward to and depend on when you needed her.
Your cheeks almost feel sore with how big you’re smiling, leaning in and pressing a loving kiss to your girlfriends mouth, to which she accepts gladly, strong hands on your hips as she pulls you down to lay on her chest as her back hits the ground softly.
“I love you so much, Ellie…” you sigh out against her lips, barely giving yourself enough time to say it between the passionate kiss you two share. It makes her smirk against your lips, nodding as she gives your waist a gentle squeeze.
“Love you more, dream girl..” she hums out against you as she practically drowns herself in you.
It’s funny, because while that all felt like it happened just yesterday, it had been almost five years since you’d last seen Ellie Williams in the flesh.
Because as most teenage girls do, they aim for the stars. They believe that the sky’s the limit in the adult world, and where there’s a will there’s a way, and tons of other stupid sayings that are just words used to promise yourself something that may or may not happen.
All of it was just that, words that didn’t amount to anything.
Because you didn’t expect for the city and college to be the way that it was. The first night you moved into your apartment was one of the most hectic you’d ever experienced. You were a girl from a comically small town, catapulted into this fast paced world filled with adults who were going and coming from work, other students trying to make a name for themselves, and people simply trying to live.
To put things into simpler terms, you just weren’t available enough to keep Ellie in your life.
While she spoke to you on the phone almost the entire night of your first night in your apartment, soothing you and helping you sleep, and she made sure to text you in the morning and make sure you had everything you needed, your responses on the other end just became less and less frequent. Phone calls slowly stopped, text messages weren’t getting answered, and you gradually disappeared from Ellie’s life, the city swallowing you hole and keeping you away from her.
The worst part about it? You barely even noticed Ellie wasn’t in your life anymore. Between your classes and your job, you barely had enough time to breath let alone keep a relationship with your girlfriend.
It wasn’t until about a year into city life that it all happened. You were so absent, that you didn’t even realize Ellie sent you a message one day saying it was best to just be friends rather than try to keep a relationship, wishing you the best in a way that sounded far too understanding.
Before you knew it, you found a girl to take Ellie’s place in your heart. She was smart, and kind, and from the moment you laid eyes on her in a bar in the city one night after exams, you knew she had to be yours.
Soon enough she was, the two of you moving a bit too fast for your parents taste. Getting married fresh out of college wasn’t exactly what they wanted for you, but you were happy! And that’s all that truly mattered to you.
Man, should you have listened to them.
Two years. Two fucking years with the girl you were planning on devoting your loyalty to for the rest of your life was all you had, all you were given until you caught her fucking her coworker into the mattress of the bed you two shared. To say you didn’t see it coming would be a lie. Your ex wife was a fucking moron who couldn’t lie to save her ass. You’d only been gaslighting yourself for the last six months of your marriage into thinking she was just going through a rough patch or even planning some romantic getaway for the two of you.
No romantic getaways though, only heartbreak.
It was like you couldn’t even cry when you saw it, your body freezing at the sight of them in your bed once you followed the very loud trail of moans leading to your bedroom. The idiots, they didn’t even have the decency to do it in a fucking hotel or something.
So as your wife’s (ex wife) chasing you through your apartment, watching as you silently grab your suitcase and throw your things into it, the girl on your bed watching with wide eyes as she grips your favorite silk sheets against her chest to cover herself, you only truly have one thing on your mind.
“Come on baby…I…it was one time! You have to believe me!” She’s calling out like a wailing child, and the voice you once loved with all your heart sounds like nails on a chalk board. You swiftly tug your wedding ring off of your finger, tossing it onto the coffee table.
“My lawyer will send over the divorce papers” you speak out clearly, wanting her to hear ever fucking syllable that exits your mouth before you leave the apartment with the door slamming behind you, muffling her pathetic pleas behind the door.
You needed to go home.
Tumblr media
Driving back to your home town was something you’d always imagine would be therapeutic. You imagined yourself packing your kids into a car with your wife, and making the drive all the way back to show them where their mommy grew up, allowing them to see a side of you that not many got to see.
This drive was nothing like that.
Instead, you were alone. Your old Cadillac your dad gifted you as a graduation present was practically begging you to get back on the road again. While it felt good to drive instead of taking a bus or a train, the circumstances made your heart ache.
While you didn’t cry when you initially found out about your wife’s affair, it all seemed to hit you on the drive back home, crashing down on you and making it hard to breath. You had to pull over and collect yourself for a good thirty minutes because the tears in your eyes were blurring your vision too much to drive.
You couldn’t even feel excited to go home, not with the overbearing weight of heartbreak leaving an ugly feeling in your chest.
It’s like your town is frozen in time. The same stores are there, the same shady trees, everything is just how you left it. It comes as a relief to you, because if your town had undergone a shitty futuristic makeover by some big corporate asshole looking for new business opportunities, you probably would’ve lost your mind.
The street where your house sits is just the same. There are kids riding their bikes up and down the quiet block, reminding you so much of yourself when you were their age. They even wave to you, giggling and smiling at you as if you’d been there the whole time, even though you’re sure a handful of them were born well after you’d left town.
And there your house sits, quiet and empty, practically waiting for someone to step in and fill her up. She’d been void of any of your family members ever since your parents became empty nesters and decided to travel the world. They of course let you know that the house was more than yours when they found out about your divorce. They told you they’d been needing someone to step in and take over for a while now since they’d been gone, that you were just the person they needed.
You knew they were saying that just to make you feel better.
Stepping out of your car and looking up at the house that you once called home makes your emotions all the more intense. It makes you feel old, but it makes you feel like you’d moved too fast all at the same time, your feelings contradicting each other in that sense. You have to take a deep inhale, swallowing back the tears that threatened to spill out onto your cheeks as you took a moment longer to take in the big house before you decided it was time to start moving your stuff into the house.
Besides a new couch and some new paint, the house is virtually the exact same as the way you left it. It makes your heart ache, because you realize you haven’t been back since the night you left when you were eighteen years old. You were too eager, too excited to leave behind the life your parents had built around you from the day you were born, that you neglected to even visit the world that they’d created for you.
It makes you feel like a bad daughter.
And suddenly you’re crying again, with no one to hold or console you, remind you that everything is fine and it only feels like the world is crashing down on you. Your life had gone in a way that you’d never expected, taking a course that you never saw for yourself, and it had its way of ignoring everything that you’d achieved, instead making you feel like a failure.
Your bedroom hasn’t changed either. The same shitty posters and figurines are still littered along your walls, your desk and your dresser, reminding you of all the silly little interests and hobbies you had as a young girl.
All the ones you’d forgotten as an adult.
It makes your heart ache, because it feels like everything is just crashing down on you and making you feel like all the things you’d been ignoring are practically begging, forcing you to acknowledge them, forcing you to feel them.
That first night back consists of you crying in the bath, followed by crying in your bed until you’ve fallen asleep.
You don’t leave the house for a few days, almost a week, thanking the forces of the internet that DoorDash had come to your small town, allowing you to feed yourself without the consequences of stepping out into town.
You weren’t ready for that. You weren’t ready for the people of your town to recognize you, to see the once happy, golden girl of their town that made it out of it all to get to the big city, back. Now lacking that sparkle she used to have in her eyes.
They all cared about you deeply, you could see it in the way they asked your parents constantly about you. But you couldn’t face them, not yet.
It doesn’t take long for the rest of your things that you’d shipped down to arrive at your house, a big truck stopping outside your house one early morning before setting everything in your garage. Once they left, you were faced with the task of moving all of the shit you’d accumulated in the city, into your new home.
And what a surprise it was when you were just about to grab a big box, only to see a familiar old grey truck pull up into your driveway next to your car.
Joel hadn’t changed at all. He was still just as old and burly as you remembered, his eyes crinkling at the edges with those familiar little wrinkles and his smile shining through the thick hair covering the bottom half of his face.
“Well would you look at who the cat dragged in” he chuckles out as he steps out of his car, old boots settling down onto the hot concrete of your driveway as his hand rested on the top of the car door.
His presence is enough to light up your face, quickly setting down the box as you rush out of the garage to meet the man outside of his car. The feeling of his strong arms wrapping around you in what could only be described as the closest thing to what hugging a bear feels like, temporarily mends your broken heart.
“Didn’t think I’d be seeing you again…it’s good to have you back kid…” he sighs out, chin pressed to the top of your head as you press your head against his chest. You can smell the faint scent of pine and cigarettes, further proving how much Joel has managed to stay the same since you’d last seen him.
You don’t trust yourself to respond, feeling the familiar tightening of your throat, the burning at your eyes and the tingle in your nose.
Joel had become somewhat of a second father to you, what with you and Ellie growing up together and all. Between your dad and hers being best friends, and you and Ellie being as close as you were, only to end up dating in high school, it wasn’t exactly a shock that you two had become so close with each others families.
Despite the heat of the summer time sun beating down on the both of you, you can’t bring yourself to let go of him. It feels like he’s the first person that’s hugged you in a long time and you’re fighting back the urges to cry with a fucking bat.
He chuckles softly, giving you a gentle squeeze before he pulls back, looking down into your eyes only to see that they’re pooling up with tears. You remind him so much of that little girl that was in and out of his home, stealing his daughter’s heart and running off with it to the big city to chase your dreams.
He can see so clearly just how much you’re hurting.
It makes him frown, bringing his hand up to ruffle your hair playfully.
You sniffle, biting back your tears as you stare up at the man. “What are you doing here?” You croak out, far too choked up to get a proper sentence out.
He hums softly as he looks up at the house, and then to the boxes filling up your garage, which he gestures to. “Your folks gave me a call…said you’d been comin’ home…they asked if I’d be able to help you get settled in” he explained, his eyes squinting a bit as if to size up the amount of things you had to take up before he gave a firm nod, as if confirming he’d be more than able to.
He looks back down at you, giving you his signature warm smile before he continues. “I was indeed free…so here I am” he confirmed with a chuckle.
You simply blink up at him, trying to gauge whether or not he knows, if your parents told him exactly why you were coming home along with telling him that you were coming back in the first place. Clearly you were moving back home, and he knew that you’d been married.
But he doesn’t say anything further. He doesn’t say he’s sorry, he doesn’t ask if you’re okay. He simply treats it like you’re just coming back home because you want to, not because you’re running away from something.
You decide to simply leave it at that.
Soon you’re giving him a soft smile, nodding as you look back at the boxes before leading him into the garage. You let out a soft sigh as you look at the work cut out for you two before you gesture towards them.
“It’s a lot, Mr. Miller…and I don’t expect you to help with everything so-“ he’s quickly cutting you off, the older man scoffing as he bends down to grab one of the bigger ones in a way that’s far too impressive for a man his age.
“Mr. Miller? The city went and made you all formal? Now…come inside and show me where you want these” he hums out casually, making you giggle softly before you grab a box yourself, moving to walk in front of him before you nod inside.
“Fine…but at least let me feed you once we’re finished” you make sure to add before leading him inside and show him where to place the box he had.
Soon, it’s nearly mid day and your garage is free of boxes. You almost don’t believe how quickly you and Joel were able to get all of the boxes in, the man moving quick for his age. You had to bite your tongue from mentioning it, knowing that he’d scoff and tell you he could run circles around the young kids asses any given day.
He of course lets you hold up your end of the bargain, making him a sandwich and some freshly squeezed lemonade just in time for lunch. Sitting down with him at your kitchen table makes you face just how lonely you’d been in that house. Sure, you didn’t mind doing things on your own, you were by yourself for the first three years of college before you met your ex wife. There was just something about being in your childhood home that was once bustling with life, always buzzing with the sounds of a family, now only filled with you and the soft patter of your feet against the wooden floor when you had to get from one point to another, that seemed to leave your heart feeling even more hollow than it already had become.
You knew that with some food and some spare time to simply sit with each other, conversation would erupt between you and Joel, so it didn’t come to a surprise when he finally mentioned the elephant in the room.
The plates were filled with crumbs and some discarded sandwich crust, glasses half filled with ice and a few lemon edges as you sat across from each other, the warm summer breeze blowing the lacy curtains further into the house.
“I don’t mean to pry…but what made you decide to come home?” He questions innocently. You know he isn’t doing it to gossip or lurk too deep in places that he doesn’t belong, he’s simply curious. He could see that look in your eyes when he first got there, and he knew that there was something behind them begging to get out, begging to be heard.
It makes you hum, your fingers lazily wrapped around the white and yellow striped straw in your cup, swirling around the remnants of your drink before you let out a soft sigh.
“I um…my wife and I got divorced…” your words trail off, almost ashamed to say them. You let out a soft scoff, nodding as you catch Joel’s shocked face before you continue.
“She was sleeping with her coworker…in our bed…” you pour salt on the wound with that one, a soft chuckle leaving your lips before you sigh, finally looking over at Joel to see he’s giving you and apologetic frown, his hand reaching over to grip your hand on the table, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“Kid…I….fuck…I’m sorry” he tries, and you’re shaking your head to stop him before he can even continue further.
“I shouldn’t have married her so quickly…my parents told me it wasn’t a good idea but I…was too eager” you mumble out with a shrug before you give him a soft smile, your hand moving up to give his a squeeze instead, wanting to assure the now sad man that everything was fine.
“I’m okay Joel…really…if anything it’s karma for what I did to Ellie-“ he’s quickly cutting you off, seeing the way you’re simply talking out of your ass at this point.
He’s shaking his head, settling back in his chair before he cuts you off. “No…nuh-uh…Ellie has never blamed you for how things ended and you know that” his voice gets a bit more firm, wanting you to fully understand what he’s trying to convey.
You can’t help but frown as you stare down at the old kitchen table, far too deep in thought to even listen to the man. He can tell, he can see that you’re zoning out and getting deep in your head, so he pushes himself forward, resting his forearms on the table as he gets a bit closer to you.
“She knew how much leaving meant to you…she’s never once blamed you for anything” he tries again, this time trying to convey to you how truthful his words were, how much he truly meant them.
Hearing her name only makes your heart hurt more.
Because it felt like the universe was punishing you for not choosing her, for choosing the wrong girl instead of the one that you’d be given, the one that was simply perfect for you. You knew you were wrong for it, but was all of this necessary?
You don’t say anything, simply giving the man a soft smile before you nod, moving to grab the empty plates and cups and moving them to the sink, desperately trying to escape the conversation.
You hear him hum softly behind you, knowing it means he’s going to speak further. “She owns the car shop in town….bought it off of Mr. Johnson a little while after you left…” he explains.
The thought of Ellie had crossed your mind the moment you came to terms with the fact that you were moving back home. She crossed your mind a lot, but knowing that there may or may not would come a time where you’d have to face her again had your stomach in knots. You knew little to nothing about Ellie now, you didn’t know what she was doing or whether or not she was still living in town, you didn’t even know if she was with someone or not.
So to hear her father confirming that she was in fact still there, still around and not angry or bitter over the way things happened, it felt all too much like Joel trying to play Cupid between his daughter and her high school girlfriend.
His words make you freeze for a moment, your hands stilling against the dish and the sponge in your hand. He notices this, standing up from his seat at the table and moving to stand next to you, his palms pressing against the counter as his neck cranes down to eye you carefully.
“You should stop by…say hello…if you want” he assures you, wanting you to know that it was completely up to you and what you were comfortable with. You finally look up, giving the older man a soft smile before nodding.
“I…thanks Joel…for everything” you manage, finishing up the dishes before you grab a nearby rag to dry your hands. He smiles warmly as he nods before he brings his hand up to check his watch, sighing softly as he nods his head towards the door.
“I’ll be heading out now then…I have some things I need to take care of in town” he explains, looking down at you and giving you a slight nod. “You call me if you need anything missy…you hear?” He firmly reminds you before cracking a smile, reaching out and giving your arm a gentle squeeze before you walk him out of your house.
That night, Joel’s words echo throughout your head, and all you can think about is seeing Ellie again. Should you even consider it? Was it even a good idea for a newly divorced girl to be dabbling in the world of her old flings? Her first fling to be exact?? It all somehow sounded like a recipe for disaster.
Yet you couldn’t stop yourself from mentally searching through your closet for an outfit to wear on your first official outing.
Tumblr media
After about another week of sulking in your house, you finally haul an old pair of denim shorts and a nice white linen blouse and force yourself out of your front door. Sure, you would’ve preferred crawling under your sheets and sobbing into your pillow, wondering why this had to happen to you, and why you couldn’t have a long happy marriage like everyone else, but healing had to start somewhere. You knew that you couldn’t do any of that if you continued wallowing in your own self pity.
The sun does a good job at pulling you out of your home. The weather was too nice to stay stuck inside of an old house all day. Summer vacation was in full swing, paired with the neighborhood kids bringing out the old sprinkler and everything, you’re sure you can even hear the ice cream truck coming down the road when you’re pulling out of your driveway.
It’s like you can finally see the beauty of your little town whenever you’re put together with the intention of coming out. It’s almost like the opposite of living life with rose colored glasses, instead you were blinded by a grey fog that came with your divorce, keeping you from truly seeing all that your home town had to offer.
Being in town does more for you than you’d ever imagine. Visiting the old faces that were once apart of your day to day almost makes it feel like you’d never left. Mrs. Charlotte still owns the little produce store, you’d always visit her after school and on the weekends because she always had some of the best strawberries no matter the season. The smile on her face when she saw you was one like no other, the woman grabbing you and pulling you into her chest the moment she saw you walk into her shop.
Mr. Johnny still owned the local photography store, he gave you your first job when you were sixteen years old. He’s partially to thank for helping you pay for college. You couldn’t believe your eyes when his little girl that you used to babysit was getting ready for her final year in high school, working in the same position you were when you were her age.
And Mr. and Mrs. Peters made sure to stop you when you were passing by their old pet store, Mrs. Peters unable to believe her eyes when she saw the golden girl passing by her old shop. She scolded you for not writing her earlier, letting her know that you were coming into town. You make it up to her by telling her you’re here to stay, and that you’ll make it a point to have both her and her husband over for dinner one of these days whenever they’re free.
So? Nearly nothing has changed. Sure, everyone’s gotten a bit older, but so have you. You’ve changed, and you’ve grown, and you’re so much different and so much more than the small towns golden girl that finally made it out to the big city, just to get her heart broken in the process of it all.
And that’s what you remind yourself as you find yourself pulling up to the familiar car shop that Joel had mentioned the week before.
It’s no surprise that Ellie ended up finding herself to be the owner of the local car shop in your town. She’d always loved cars, working on them, fixing them up, everyone in your school knew that if you had a problem with your vehicle, you’d call Ellie. She was the one that came together with your dad to fix his old Cadillac, fixing her up, turning her out and making her brand new for your adventures in the big city.
Standing in front of her shop makes your heart beat right out of your chest. But you’re here already, so you might as well just suck it up and walk right in.
As you do so, you can’t help but let the lingering thoughts take over. The suns already setting at this point, and you’re sure she’s close to closing up if she hasn’t already. What even was the point? Ellie probably didn’t even wanna see you! This was all Joel’s idea and what if he was just trying to make you feel-
“I’ll be right there!” You hear a familiar voice call out from the back, making your heart beat faster just from the sound of it.
She sounds the same, yet more mature. Her voice deeper with a bit of roughness to it, making her sound all the more irresistible. It makes you stand in the opened garage of her shop, surrounded by all of the cars that are opened up or hoisted up into the sky, your hands gripping your bag almost nervously as you stand there, frozen, unable to move.
Soon, she’s emerging from the back. She has a pair of navy overalls on, the sleeves tied around her waist, leaving her top half in a white wife pleaser, both of which were covered in motor oil and grease. Her arms are bigger, and covered in tattoos, something you remembered her saying she’d do the second she got the money for it. She’s taller too, and her hair is shorter, gone is the familiar pony tail she always had, instead it stops just at the nape of her neck, messily tossed into a bun while a few strands rests against her skin. her features stronger too, sharper.
She’s so different, yet so similar to the Ellie you remember, your Ellie. She still has the power of taking your breath away with a single glance.
“Well I’ll be damned…is that the dream girl?” She chuckles out with a soft smirk on her lips, pulling a red rag from her back pocket to wipe her hands clean. The nickname leaves goosebumps trailing down your skin.
Dream girl.
You recall the nickname from the many times you were with Ellie. Back when you two dated, she’d go on and on about how perfect you were, how she knew you were the girl of her dreams, animated into real life from the moment she laid eyes on you. You were the girl of her very dreams, and she never failed to remind you of that. Ever.
Hearing her call you that has your lips twitching up into a shy smile as you give her a shrug.
“In the flesh…” you mumble out, biting back an embarrassed giggle as the girl clearly drinks you in, eyes shamelessly raking up and down your body.
“Jesus…come here!” She groans out as she rushes towards you, strong arms wrapping around your middle and pulling you up, spinning you around as she keeps you in her arms. It makes you laugh loudly, a deep guttural laugh leaving your lips, possibly for the first time since your divorce.
The feeling of Ellie’s strong arms wrapping around your body feels like your missing puzzle piece has been given back to you, like you’ve been reunited with a part of you that you left behind far too long ago.
But she’s so much stronger now, and she’s older and…and…
It all just feels so right.
“Ellie stop! Put me down, you’re filthy” you whine out, landing a playful slap to her sweaty arm as she chuckles, finally setting you back down onto the floor.
She chuckles softly, settling her hands on either one of her hips as she lets out a sigh, a soft smile on her face. “I’m surprised the town hasn’t thrown a damn parade when they heard you’d be here…my god” she sighs out, practically in awe with your very appearance.
“Come on back, I’m just finishing some paperwork before I close” she nods her head to the back where she was moments ago, which you quickly follow her as she guides you.
Her garage is empty except for her, most likely working overtime after her employees had gone home, which was very much like Ellie. The walls are covered with the same posters of the bands you knew Ellie loved, as well as a healthy collection of vintage car photos, which isn’t a shock at all since those were always the center of Ellie’s car obsession.
The place seems nice and worn in, it suits Ellie in the best way.
Your thoughts are interrupted when you hear her let out a soft hum. She’s leaned up against her work table, wiping her hands off further with her red rag before she tosses it over her shoulder, crossing her toned arms across her chest as she eyes you fondly, a soft smile on her face.
“You haven’t changed one bit…” she hums out, eyes trailing on your face as she keeps that fine smile on hers. It makes you feel shy, the same way you felt all those years ago when your feelings for Ellie really started to shine through, and every little thing she’d say would have you giggling like an idiot.
You roll your eyes, biting back a smile as your top teeth sink into your bottom lip, shrugging as you move your hands up to loosely rest on your own arms.
“Please…the city has practically chewed me up and spit me out…I’m surprised I don’t have wrinkles yet” you huff softly, bringing your hand up to your forehead to make sure you weren’t frowning again, a habit you’d picked up recently.
Getting cheated on made you far too miserable.
She chuckles, shaking her head as her pink tongue darts out to lick her lips, still soaking you in like she would the sun.
“Nah…a face like that? Not even the city could ruin” she adds, giving you a small wink.
It warms you heart up in the best of ways, finally giving you a moment to stand still and enjoy life without letting the actions of your ex wife consume you. She makes you forget all about it, reminding you of a time where the thought of getting cheated on, didn’t even cross your mind.
You two stand there for a moment, seemingly taking each other in, enjoying the moment. It’s clear that she’s flirting, and it feels so similar to the days of your old life. It feels like the times where you and Ellie would spend hours talking outside your house or hers, when you’d shyly smile and giggle at one another when you were unsure of your feelings, when things were fresh.
You can tell Ellie feels it too, because she’s quick to blink a few times in your direction before she clears her throat, smile dropping as she turns around to busy herself with something on her desk.
“How’s that wife of yours? Sorry I couldn’t make it to the wedding…was um….was busy” she mumbles out.
Although her back is facing you, you can practically hear the way her eyebrows furrow and her lips twitch into a frown. It was a subject that you two hadn’t spoken about much. You’d told Ellie about your ex wife when you two first started dating, and you told her about the engagement and the wedding you’d been planning, because before anything else, Ellie was your friend, and you two shared everything with each other.
But you couldn’t ignore the almost nauseating weight that settled in when you spoke to her about it. The way she tried to seem as happy for you as she could without letting underlying feelings bubble up to the surface.
You could sense that same weight now, as she asked you about the woman that broke your heart.
It rips you away from the little fantasy you’d been given with Ellie, reminding you of the dark reality of why you’d returned, and what it was that had forced you out of the city and back to your home town. Thinking about telling Ellie about what happened and actually doing it were two very different things, and the seconds of silence that passed between you began to turn into minutes, minutes where you silently begged to disappear into thin air instead of admitting to Ellie what it was that happened.
“Um…she…” you stuttered out, struggling for a moment before your eyes fluttered shut, and you took a deep inhale, grounding yourself before you finally spoke once more.
“We got divorced.” You finally manage to get out, your balled up fists finally relaxing down at your sides as your shoulders deflate, the weight of your situation finally releasing itself from your body as you admitted it to her.
You see her still for a moment, movements halting completely as she struggles to comprehend what it was that you’d said, what it was that she was hearing.
Hearing about your girlfriend was a jab to the chest, but it wasn’t like she didn’t see it coming. Plus, it’s just a girlfriend! And you were all the way in the city anyways, who was Ellie to be jealous of that? Hearing about your engagement was also fairly hard, it wasn’t like she spent countless nights at the bar drowning out her sorrows over the one that got away. Seeing your actual wedding invitation though? Man, that was fucking hard. Ellie isn’t entirely sure how she got through that part. Ignoring it was the easiest way how.
Ellie would spend night after night wishing on a single star that you’d get divorced from that woman, knowing deep down she wasn’t the right one for you. Call it a gut feeling or call it jealousy, whatever it was, there was a constant lingering feeling that Ellie had ever since you’d gotten married that left a bitter taste in her mouth, one that she felt wouldn’t end well with that girl.
And now you’re here, standing in the middle of her old car shop, telling her that you were in fact divorced, and one of the countless stars in the sky has listened to her.
But she can’t move. She’s frozen in place as she eyes the papers on her desk, that now have no purpose to her since the only thing she can focus on is your words. It makes you nervous, and you take it was an opportunity to clear your throat, wanting desperately to cut the silence in half.
“Your dad told me you owned this place now…so I thought I’d visit…” you mumble out awkwardly, struggling to find the words to say to Ellie as she simply stood there, back turned to you for what felt like an eternity.
She inhales deeply, finally turning around to face you. You weren’t entirely sure what you expected her expression to read, but you’re surprised to see that she’s frowning, a soft sigh leaving her lips as she leans her palms back on her desk, shaking her head a she eyes you.
“Always knew those city girls were no good…I’m sorry sweetheart” she sighs out genuinely. You give her a shrug, shaking your head as you send a half smile her way.
“I’m just glad it happened sooner than later…saying I have an ex wife is cool though” you snort out, which earns a chuckle from Ellie as she nods in agreement.
“Very cool…makes you sound all grown up” she winks at you before she nods her head at you. “You still staying at your old place? Or did you find somethin’ in town” she hums out, clearly trying to change the subject for your own comfort.
And hers….
You hum softly as you nod, gesturing off to the direction of your home. “Yup…my parents treat the place like it’s a vacation home…I was practically taking it off their hands” you sigh out in fake annoyance, which makes Ellie laugh softly as she nods.
“Man…haven’t seen those two in a couple of years. You’d think they’re on their honeymoon” she adds, making you giggle as well.
The summer breeze blows swiftly against your body, your hair blowing with it, fallen blossoms from the apple trees in town dancing along your feet. It doesn’t help that you’re dressed in the same pair of denim shorts Ellie used to love so much, looking all too familiar to the girl of her passed, yet so different at the same time.
She stares at you shamelessly, smiling fondly as she simply takes you in.
You furrow your eyebrows, biting back a smile as you eye her closely. “What are you staring at, Williams?” You ask her, clearly teasing the girl as she gives you a shrug, biting down on her bottom lip as she gives you a smile.
“You expect me to not stare when a pretty girl is stood in my shop? What do you take me for” she shoots out far too smoothly, making you roll your eyes. You shoo your hand at her, turning around to make your way back to your car, knowing that if you stay any longer, you’ll probably end up getting charmed by Ellie all over again.
As if she hadn’t already done that the moment you laid eyes on her.
“I’m freshly divorced missy…not exactly the top choice at the market” you scold her jokingly, giving her a small wave as you walk out onto the curb, making your way back to your car.
“Just wanted to stop by and say hello…don’t wanna keep you any longer” you hum out, giving the girl a small smile as your hand reaches for the handle of your car.
Ellie is moving before she can think, eyes widening as she quickly follows you out to your car, her larger hand gently resting over your own as she moves to pull your car door open for you.
“My um…my number hasn’t changed…if you still have it and you wanted to talk…or hang out or something…” she mumbles out shyly. For a moment, you see her drop the smooth, suave demeanor she had mere moments ago, saying all the right things and strumming all the right chords. For a moment, she’s Ellie. She’s the Ellie that stuttered and struggled to get the words out when she asked you out the first time, or asked you to be her girlfriend.
She’s the Ellie that you make nervous.
“Do you…have my number still?” She asks nervously, worried she’d been reading into this all wrong. It makes you giggle, nodding as you lean your back against your car, staring up at the girl before you speak.
“Of course I have your number, Ellie…wouldn’t lose it for the world” you hum out as you give her a soft smile, which has her eyes twinkling as she gives you a small smile.
“Good…” she managed out as she watches you get into your car.
She hums as she leans down, pressing her arms against the edge of your window, looking into your car before she looks at you. You feel your insides burning at how fucking close she is at that.
“A buddy of mine s’got a gig down at the Copper Cat this Saturday…if you wanted to come out” she casually invites you, eyeing you closely to try and gauge your response to it.
Your eyes widen a bit at the mention of the old bar, memories swirling into your head like a hurricane. “The Copper Cat?? That place is still opened??” You practically shriek in shock of the old bar still being up and running. Your response makes Ellie chuckle as she nods.
“Yup…and it’s better than ever too. They remodeled last summer” she explains, you don’t miss the proud smile on her face as she practically beams at you. You giggle softly as you nod slowly before you hum, looking down at your lap for a moment as you thought about it a bit. Your ex girlfriend was inviting you to some mediocre show at an even more mediocre bar in the small corner of your town, and you were newly divorced…
What could go wrong with that
You smile up at her before giving her a nod. “Text me and let me know what time you’ll be there” you give her a nod, confirming that you’ll come. You can see the see the way her eyes practically twinkle at that, nodding eagerly as she smiles.
“I’ll pick you up” she quickly replied, leaving no room for you to decline, because she’d already pushing herself up and off of your window, giving you a bright smile as she nods her head in the direction of the main road.
“Go on…before I keep you here even longer than I’m supposed to” she gives you a wink, which sends your heart until a flurry of emotions, sparking it all up all over again before you roll your eyes playfully, and drive off after giving her a small wave goodbye, her smile seemingly seared into the forefront of your brain as you grinned like an idiot while making your way back home.
God…were you fucked.
Tumblr media
This wasn’t a date.
This was simply two old friends catching up after a long time! Ellie had asked you to come out because she probably felt bad for you. She could probably see the tears stained into your cheeks and the absolute trail of sadness that followed you around and thought, ‘this girl could use a night out’, so she invited you.
This wasn’t a date.
It was a pity invite! A date would have been some place nice. Ellie was romantic, you knew that. She’d treated you better in your puppy love relationship than most girls did while you were in the city, so of course suggesting to go to the bar was keeping it friendly.
This wasn’t a date.
It wasn’t a date. It was just you going out to a bar because you’re single now and you can do what you want without feeling guilty or wrong for doing fun things. That’s all. It wasn’t a date at all.
But if it wasn’t a date…why were you so fucking nervous.
You visited Ellie at her shop on Monday, you weren’t set to see her again until Friday night, so why was it the only thing you could think of? You could only think of what to wear, how to act, if you should text her or not, would that be pushy? Would that be overstepping? She told you her number hadn’t changed! So obviously that meant she wanted you to text her….right?
Right?
God, who knew at this point. All you knew, was that you were set to see Ellie this weekend. Regardless of it being a date or not, it was nerve wracking. So when Friday afternoon finally rolls around, you find yourself partaking in things that are a steering a bit too close to pre date activities.
Such as making sure your entire body was nice and moisturized, but that was just for you! That wasn’t for Ellie to touch or squeeze…or making sure your hair was cleaned and styled, that’s just because you want to be presentable! You can’t let the people of your town see the mess your ex wife made. Or doing your makeup and picking out the perfect outfit. That was simply because…you wanted to! Nothing more, nothing less.
You settled on a simple yellow sundress with pink flowers, it hugs your middle perfectly and flows down to your calves, making it just enough to look like you put a bit of effort into your appearance. It almost felt like a breath of fresh air to haul on any old pair of shorts or a nice dress to go out, something the city rarely allowed. The city was too into appearances, everyone needing to wear the best clothes and the trendiest styles when setting foot outside, especially on a night out. It was fun, but it became exhausting after a while, all you wanted to do was to wear your comfy clothes without getting nasty looks.
The beauty of living in a small town.
When you’re finally ready, you catch a quick look at yourself in the mirror, more than happy with your overall appearance before you take a deep breath, and send Ellie a text.
Hii :)
I’m all ready whenever you wanna come by
It doesn’t take more than a few seconds for Ellie to read and respond to your messages.
Awesome :)
I’m omw
You smile softly at her messages, heart beating a bit faster at the thought of her coming over as you click your phone shut, and move to sit in your living room to wait for the girl to arrive.
It’s almost comedic how quickly you move to sit on your couch, knee bouncing anxiously as you wait for the girl to pull up to your house. Sitting there gives you too much time to think, too. Because what if this is a bad idea, what if you’re just blinded by the manic excitement that comes with seeing Ellie again, the thrill of being with her, because you’re still very much heart broken, and it isn’t like everything will simply disappear once she’s-
And suddenly you can’t think anymore, because all you can hear is a firm knock at your front door, echoing through your house.
It catches the air in your lungs and practically runs with it, leaving you panicking as your eyes flutter between the front door and the clock, and you realize it’s been about fifteen minutes since Ellie’s texted you, and you’d just been sitting on your couch overthinking as always.
Your feet seem to have a mind of their own as they carry you to your front door, moving to open it before you can even come to terms with opening up for it.
And if you think Ellie looked good when you saw her at her shop? God…you didn’t know what good looked like until now.
The white t shirt she wears hugs her body beautifully, covered by an old leather jacket that fits her even better. Her toned thighs are clad in what you can only assume to be expensive blue denim jeans, simply by how perfectly they fit her. It’s all covered with a fucking cherry on top when you take in her black boots, and a singular silver necklace dangling from her neck.
You’re sure she’ll notice your heart beating out of your chest any second now.
She’s smiling brightly when she takes you in, eyes raking down your form before she chuckles. “Look at you…could almost pass for one of us small town folk in that one..” she hums out, nodding in approval at your laid back outfit.
It makes you roll your eyes, landing a playful nudge to the girls arm as you adjust your bag further on your shoulder. “Please…I dressed like this even when I lived out there” you try to defend yourself, giving her a small frown before you nod your head out to her car.
“Should we get going? Wouldn’t wanna miss the main act” you hum, wanting to get out of your house desperately.
Half of the reason being because you seriously needed to get out of your house and socialize with people that weren’t your mother’s porcelain figurines….
And the other half being you simply couldn’t handle the close proximity of someone as good looking as Ellie much longer.
She hums softly as she nods, stepping to the side and she gives you a bit of space to walk out of your house. “After you, city girl” she teases you once again, earning yet another look of warning from your end, which she simply giggles at.
You can’t contain the gasp you let out when you finally lay eyes on Ellie’s ride. The vintage black mustang practically sparkles in the low light of the afternoon sun. You can’t help yourself from reaching out and running your fingers along the shiny body of the car.
“Jesus Christ Ellie….if I knew you’d pick me up in this, I would’ve dressed nicer” you practically gasp out. Ellie chuckles softly as she watches your reaction closely, nodding slowly as she looks at the car with you.
“Hey…city girl comes to town? I need to pull all the stops” she explains with a nonchalant shrug. It makes you groan in annoyance, because did Ellie truly have to be this perfect? Couldn’t she have grown up to be a moron like your ex wife?
Why did she have to be something out of a fucking romance novel.
You’re too in awe with the vehicle to acknowledge her remark, a soft, dreamy sigh leaving your lips as you bend down a bit to look at the cream colored leather interior. “You fix this up yourself?” You hum out softly, although you already knew the answer to that question, you wanted to hear her gloat about it.
You can practically hear the cocky grin on the girls face as she nods. “Is the sky blue? Come on angel…you know nobody does it like me” she grins out, moving to stand behind you.
“Longer you stare at her, less time you have in her…” she practically purrs out. You have to ignore the way your stomach does flips at her tone, nodding eagerly as you rush to the other side of the car, to which Ellie quickly beats you to it.
“Nu-uh-uh…a lady never opens her own door, especially a city-“ you press your hand to her mouth, silencing her from finishing her sentence as you give her a displeased look.
“Finish that sentence and I’m going back inside” you deadpan, which makes Ellie quickly nod as she gives you wide eyes, opening the door for you in silence. You giggle softly, patting her cheek gently before you get into her car. “Much better” you praise her.
She chuckles softly, waiting for you to get in before she rushes to her side to get in and start driving as well.
The familiar bar hasn’t changed at all since you’d last been there. It’s almost scary how much everything’s frozen in time in the small town, leaving little to no room for changes. It makes you sigh softly, a gentle smile on your lips as Ellie pulls into the parking lot.
“Man….this place really never changes, huh?” You sigh out almost in awe, which makes Ellie chuckle as she shuts the car off.
“What can I say….Our town prioritizes tradition” she teases before she looks over at you, giving you a soft smile before nodding her head towards the building. “Come on, my buddy should be up any moment now” she urges gently before she gets out of the car, prompting you to follow when she opens up the door for you.
Inside, the place is buzzing. Filled to the brim with the people of your town, young and old, all of them eager for a night of fun after a long week of work. The atmosphere differs greatly from what you’re used to, the clubs and bars back in the city always having a strange vibe to them, one that you couldn’t ever really put your finger on.
Being there, with the people that had been born and raised in the same town as you, you were finally able to remember what it was that was missing in the city…
It was that the people here, were actually having fun.
“I’m gonna grab a drink, you want one?” Ellie leans down next to you, her voice raising a bit to combat the loud music that was already playing. You hum softly, trying your best to ignore the way her scent fills your knows and almost makes you feel drunk. You merely give her a nod and a soft smile before leaning in to speak into her ear as well. “A rum and coke if that’s okay!” You shout out to her, which earns a smile and a nod. She gives your arm a gentle squeeze, “find us a spot, I’ll find you when I have them” she urges before disappearing off into the sea of people to find the bar.
You let out a breath you’d seemingly held from the moment Ellie picked you up from your house, exhaling loudly as you look around at the packed room. There are various booths and stools available to sit, but you opt to lean up against a nearby wall, mainly because you seriously needed a time out from the amount of people there.
You truly didn’t expect for so many people to be there, thinking that it would be a barely packed house with a few of Ellie’s friends there to watch the mystery person she’d been boasting to you about. You couldn’t tell if everyone was there to see the performance, or if they were there simply to socialize and drink. You figured it was a mix of both.
Quite a bit of time passes by, and it makes you wonder if Ellie got lost or was having trouble finding you or something. You knew it was stupid to stand on the wall, so you figure you’d search for her instead.
Pushing yourself off the wall and emerging into the sea of people makes you frown, apologizing and squeezing through various people, trying your best to map out where the bar should be. You feel you can just make out the flooded area, when you finally spot Ellie.
And the girl that’s been keeping her from you.
You can see Ellie holding your drink in her hand, and one you can assume is for herself as the girl chats her up. You can barely make out who Ellie is speaking to, but from the back? You can tell she’s a looker. Her pretty hair falling down her back, attractive figure, even the way she leans in and presses her hand against Ellie’s arm whenever she laughs makes it clear that this girl is pretty, because all pretty girls know how to flirt in just the best ways possible.
And it’s the strangest fucking feeling, because even thought you caught your ex wife fucking another woman in the bed you both shared, what you feel when you see another girl touching Ellie’s arm doesn’t come close to anything you’ve ever felt before.
Because you’ve never had to see this. You’ve never had to see someone else throw themselves at Ellie. When you were dating, everyone knew that you were hers and she was yours, and even before you two were dating, everyone assumed you were both off limits anyways. It was something that you never had to face, because in the entire time that you’d known Ellie, she was yours.
But now she wasn’t. And it was clear that everyone knew that.
It makes you want to turn around and go home, ignore the ugly feeling in the pit of your stomach, call a cab and hide in your house for another month. You weren’t ready for this, these feelings that you were faced with were too much, and too fucking confusing. You wanted your bed, and your room, and your house where you were safe and no one and nothing could hurt you, you just needed to turn around and-
“Awe, there she is. Over here!” Ellie’s voice calls out over the loud music, cutting each and every one of your loud, annoying thoughts in half. Your eyes widen a bit when the girl finally turns around, only confirming the point that you had come to earlier. If anything, she puts all of that to shame, because she’s even more beautiful than you could have ever imagined.
You don’t recognize her, but she’s smiling brightly and waving you over as if she recognizes you, beckoning you over as if you’d all been friends since you were babies. You have to stop yourself from frowning, knowing both this girl and Ellie owed you nothing. You put on a smile, inhaling deeply and making your way over to the both of them.
“Sorry I took so long, I couldn’t find you anywhere” Ellie quickly apologizes as she hands you your drink. You quickly shake your head, clearing the lump that had formed in your throat before you give her a small smile.
“Uh…no worries. I was in an awkward spot anyways, so that’s my fault” you assure her.
She can tell something’s wrong just in the way you’re speaking, and it makes her eye you closely, trying to gauge your expression, eager to figure out what’s made the sudden change in your mood. It makes her frown slightly, eyebrows furrowed as she peers down to watch you before she leans in a bit. “You okay?” She questions softly, her hand coming up to squeeze your arm gently.
The tone of her voice and the hand on your arm makes you want to explode. It makes your head spin and it makes you want to scream at the top of your lungs, because Ellie does not owe you anything! She isn’t your girlfriend, and this is simply two friends catching up after not seeing each other for a long time, and it was absolutely doing your head in that she was speaking to you like that wasn’t the case.
So you give her a smile, nodding quickly as you shake her hand off of your arm. “I’m fine, just a bit flustered with the crowd…um…is this your friend?” You as gently as you gesture towards the girl that was politely standing there as you and Ellie had a moment, not daring to intervene as she quietly sipped on her drink and people watched, as to not make things even more awkward than they already were.
Ellie’s frown deepens when you shake her grasp off, eyeing the way her hand falls from your arm. It leaves a bitter taste on her tongue, not used to this far off, separated feeling that’s settled between the two of you. She wants to dwell on it further, but your question makes her blink out of her confused daze, looking over at the girl standing in front of her.
“Fuck…right, yes. This is Lilac, she moved into town a few years ago” Ellie explains.
Great, even her fucking name was beautiful.
You’re met with the prettiest pair of eyes when Ellie says her name, the girl smiling brightly as she hears Ellie introduce her.
“Ahh no need to be formal, darlin’. Ellie has told me so much about you” she practically squeals out.
You’re a bit taken aback when instead of shaking your hand, she tugs you in for a hug, arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you close, nearly making you spin your drink. Your eyes widen, using your free arm to wrap around her shoulders and hug her back. You catch Ellie chuckling softly as she brings her drink to her lips, trying to hide her smirk.
Lilac pulls away, pretty glossy lips pulled into a smile as she eyes you, a gentle sigh leaving your lips as she takes you in. “I was wondering when I’d get to meet you…I promise you, I’d hear at least half the town going on and on about you the first month of living here” she giggles out. You smile softly as you nod, taking a sip of your drink before you shrug.
“Sorry about that…I’ve been hiding I guess” you mumble out sheepishly, lips ghosting over the rim of your cup as you desperately try to take in as much of your drink as you could without slugging it down like an animal.
There was no way you’d be getting through this night sober.
Ellie watches as the two of you interact, smiling softly as she takes a sip of her own drink ever so often before she intervenes.
“Lilac works on the daily paper….came in and made it all fancy for us” Ellie chimes in. Her words make Lilac giggle softly, leaning in and pressing her hand against Ellie’s arm, giving her a gentle push.
You try your best to ignore how much that fucking annoys you.
“Oh please. All I did was order in some new printing paper and add pretty fonts. Don’t let her fool you” she chirps, leaning into you with raised eyebrows as she gives you a giggle. You don’t even have time to respond to her before she’s asking you another question.
“I hear you’re from the city…I’ve dreamed of being there all my life, can’t imagine what would bring someone back to a little town like this” she sighs out almost dreamily.
Although there’s no malice or blunt force to her words, you can’t help but take it that way. It’s clear she’s simply making conversation, trying to get to know you better. Maybe it’s the liquor slowly but surely making its way through your system, making you feel looser, making your tongue looser.
“Wasn’t really my plan” you make out, eyes drifting elsewhere as you bring your cup back to your lips.
God….you just wanted to go home.
She doesn’t quite catch the bitter tone in your words, because soon enough there’s an announcement echoing through the bar, and you know it’s time for that friend that Ellie had mentioned earlier to get on stage and perform.
Lilac squeals excitedly, jumping up and down as her hand grips Ellie’s arm, the girl clearly over the moon for whoever it was that was performing.
Great….she knew the guy too?
You have to stop yourself from rolling your eyes, the foreign feeling of jealousy tapping on your shoulder, reminding you of all those intense feelings you’d once had for Ellie. Bringing your cup to your lips to occupy yourself makes you realize the drink was done, making you groan softly.
Your eyes drift over to Ellie and Lilac, both of them enamored with the man that was beginning his on stage. It makes you sigh softly before you lean into them, shouting over the loud music.
“I’m gonna get another drink, you guys want anything?” You barely make out over the loud guitar riff, the both of them denying before they brought their attention back to the musician. With that, you swiftly make your way through the crowd over to the bar.
The second you’re pressed up against the bar, it feels like you can breathe again. Your cheeks felt hot, your chest felt hot, hell, your entire fucking body felt hot. And the worst part of it all, is you could barely decipher the feelings that were plaguing your mind and body.
You sighed softly as you thanked the sweet bartender for the drink. There was enough space at the bar for you to turn around and gaze at the crowd, eyes drifting along the sea of people as you simply sipped on your drink, trying your best to regroup after the entire situation with Lilac.
Because it was weird. All of it was so fucking strange and it was doing your head in. The feeling that sank to the bottom of your stomach when you first laid eyes on them was one you couldn’t recognize. It was rare that you ever felt jealousy in your last relationship, which was honestly something that made you feel quite secure in your marriage. Your wife never truly gave you any reasons to feel that way, her attention always on you, never failing to make you feel like the only girl in the room. Thinking back to all of it, the way your marriage ended was almost comedic.
So seeing Ellie, your ex girlfriend of almost five years, and Lilac, one of the most beautiful girls you’d ever laid eyes on, simply laughing and touching one another as friends do? It made you want to rip the entire building you stood in, brick, by brick.
The thoughts alone make you frown, a gentle sigh leaving your lips as you stare down into the fizzy cup of ice, alcohol and soda in your hand. You felt…so conflicted, so wrong for allowing these feelings to fill you up and make you feel so intensely about someone who didn’t even feel that way about you anymore, and did you even feel that way about her anymore? It was just Ellie. She was your best friend before anything else, so what if she flirts with a pretty girl! You’d be stupid to think she didn’t have other people in her life after you left. What? Did you think she’d simply sit around waiting for you-
But when you finally lift your eyes up to scan the crowd again, what you find brings all of those thoughts to a halt once again.
Because now you’re seeing Ellie’s hand placed on Lilac’s middle, leaning in as the pretty girls lips ghosted along Ellie’s ear, giggling as she whispered unknown words to her.
And that’s when you realized, you couldn’t do this.
You quickly down the rest of your drink, shoving your hand into your purse and grabbing a fistful of money, sliding it over to the bartender and telling him to keep the change in a low voice. You pass the glass over to him, and begin making your way out of the sea of people in the dimly lit room.
You were stupid to think this was a good idea. Your emotions were so scattered, so messy and cluttered in your head. You were going through a fucking divorce, and now you were getting angry over the mere thought of your ex girlfriend standing next to another girl, let alone going further than that. You needed to get your shit together, and if that meant cutting newly mended ties with Ellie, then so fucking be it.
And it’s as if the once crowded bar isn’t able to cover your escape, because you can faintly make out the sound of someone calling for you. You cross your fingers, and hope that it’s someone from high school that just so happens to be there, recognizing you and trying to get a moment with you before you’re able to pounce out of the building.
But unfortunately for you, it’s not. You keep going anyways, hoping that Ellie will drop it or get caught up with someone or something else along the way of her high speed chase for you, but of course, she doesn’t.
You let out a loud sigh when you finally push past the heavy metal doors of the bar, the cool summer breeze wafting against your clammy skin, cooling down your warm cheeks. You hadn’t even realized it before, but you were practically covered in sweat from all the excitement that had washed over you in such a short amount of time.
Ellie is quick to wrap a gentle hand around your wrist, stopping you from running further.
“Hey…where you runnin’ off to? Shows barely even started” she pants out, her own cheeks flushed from pushing and shoving through people to get to you.
The ugly little monster that is jealousy dies immediately when you turn around to look at her. Partially because you know you need to quickly make up an appropriate excuse to your sudden departure, because surely you couldn’t tell her the true reason behind your disappearance…
And also because just looking at Ellie makes you feel whole again.
You let out a gentle sigh before giving her a half smile. “I’m uh…I’m pretty tired and I feel a tad drunk. You and Lilac looked like you were having fun so I didn’t wanna bother…” you explain, ignoring the way the sweet girls name leaves a rather bitter taste on your tongue.
Ellie nods, her expression gentle and understanding as she fishes her keys out of her pocket. “You should’ve told me. Come on, let’s get you home” she affirms with a soft smile, nodding her head towards her car as she begins leading you over.
Her words make you quickly shake your head, stepping in front of her to stop her from getting closer to her car.
“No! No Ellie it’s fine. You were really excited to come tonight and I don’t wanna stop you from having fun so just go back in and-“ you’re rambling at this point, a common habit you’d developed since you could speak. Ellie knew this, because every time you were flustered, or scared, or even happy, your emotions would get the best of you and you’d spew out words like a sprinkler.
So she chuckles softly, bringing her hand up to your arm and giving it a gentle squeeze as if to stop you.
“Slow down, peach” she hums out smoothly. The pet name makes your insides burn, her voice sounding like fucking butter as she soothes you, instantly calming you down and shutting you up just as she wanted.
“There you go…breath” she gives you an encoring nod, paired with another firm squeeze to your arm before she finally lets go, giving you a soft smile before she speaks again.
“I was excited to come out with you tonight. I see that guy perform every Friday” she explains with a soft laugh before she nods her head to her car once again.
“So, let’s get you home and in bed. Your parents would kill me if I let you roam around at night….even though your house is and ten minute walk from here” she shrugs before she presses her hand to the small of your back, leading you to her car without a choice.
It makes you whine softly, throwing your head back like a child as she opens up your door and helps you into the car. You aren’t even that drunk, a bit warm and tipsy, sure, but you were fine to make it home on your own.
However…her warm hand on your skin, paired with the babying, was nice.
Damn her for being so fucking perfect.
A soft huff blows past your pouted lips as she settles into the drivers seat next to you, which makes her snicker as she starts the car. “Quit pouting…it was getting too crowded in there anyways, was gonna suggest we head out right before you tried to ditch me” she shrugs nonchalantly, which earns a playful swat to her arm from your end.
“I was not ditching you! I really am tired” you protest, which only makes Ellie chuckle as she puts her hands up in her defense before she expertly pulls out of the parking lot, one hand on the steering wheel of course.
“Uh-huh….lets get you home then” she affirms as she gives you a wink before she makes her way to your house.
The summer breeze is cool against your skin, the windows down on Ellie’s car, soft music playing through it as you two simply enjoy the comfortable silence that falls between you both. It reminds you of the parties Ellie would drive you both home from, only for her to sneak up to your room with you and pass out in your bed, cuddled up into each other. Sneaking was a stretch, as your parents always knew she’d be spending the night when you two were out late.
The memories make the heart ache, and your throat swell, that familiar melancholy feeling filling you up at the reflection of the past staring at you in a pool of your memories.
You barely realize you’ve pulled in, the gentle hum of the car coming to a stop as Ellie lets her palms fall to her thighs, a gentle sigh leaving her lips as she stares up at your dark home, nothing but the porch light on to greet guests.
“Well…I hope you had fun tonight, peach…” she hums out softly when she finally turns to you, gentle green eyes shining in the dim lighting of her car, barely illuminated by the light beaming down from the moon in the clear night sky.
And you know you shouldn’t do it. You should just thank her for the night out, wish her a good night and go inside your house. You were tipsy, and you were extremely emotional, and you were lonely. All of it was a recipe for disaster, and you knew it.
But somehow, you don’t stop the words that fall from your lips.
“Do you wanna come inside?” You ask quickly, watching as the girls eyebrows raise in surprise at your sudden burst of hospitality. You inhale deeply before you continue.
“It’s late and…the least I could do is give you something to eat, or drink after making us leave early” you explain further, your hand gripping the edge of Ellie’s leather car seat as you stare at her.
When she doesn’t say anything, you feel like an idiot. She’s just staring at you and you suddenly feel like you’ve read into this all wrong, it’s been years! Why on earth would she want to come inside and hang out with her ex girlfriend, she probably has much better things to do.
“I’d love to” she beams out, giving you a bright smile before she opens her car door, gets out, and makes her way over to open yours to let you out.
You can practically feel the weight lift off of your chest when she agrees, a soft sigh of relief leaving your lips as you lead her to your front door, making your way up the steps and unlocking it before letting her in.
Ellie hums softly when you turn on the lights, eyes wandering around the familiar home as you toss your purse onto a nearby hanger, as well as kicking your shoes off near the front door.
She hangs her jacket up on the coat rack near the door like muscle memory right after she shuts the front door behind her, a soft smile on her lips as she watches you make your way to the kitchen and open up your fridge.
“I have water, iced tea, lemonade….” You list off the various contents in your fridge before you look over at the girl behind you, watching as she stands in the middle of your living room. “Water is fine” she hums out with a smile, which you nod and grab for her.
Your home is like a breath of fresh air compared to where you and Ellie where not even an hour ago, the two of you quickly falling into old habits as it takes no more than ten minutes for the two of you to make your way out to your back porch, taking a seat on the comfy outdoor couches your father had added in right before you moved out.
Another guttural laugh passes through your lips as you toss your head back, listening to Ellie catch you up on all the small town mishaps and shenanigans that you had missed, and yearned for oh so much since you'd gone.
"Are you kidding me? They fought over a decade old prom crown? I would have paid big money to see that shit" You gasp out, wiping a tear from the corner of your eye as you finally manage to catch your breath.
Ellie chuckles as she nods, bringing her water to her lips before she shrugs. "I'll tell you one thing, I had no idea those old ladies could move like that" She adds with a snort, ripping another burst of laughs from your sore chest.
You don't catch it, but Ellie simply watches you fondly as you toss your head back and laugh, a gentle smile playing on her lips as you struggle to find the words. It warms her heart even further to know that she was the one pulling that out of you, making you smile so big, laugh so hard.
You groan softly, exhaling tiredly as you place a hand on your chest as if to calm yourself. "Man....I seriously cannot remember the last time I've laughed this hard" You add, a soft, satisfied smile on your lips, unaware as to how sad your words may have sounded.
It hits you when you notice Ellie's gentle frown, the one that she gave whenever she was disappointed or when she knew something wasn't right.
"That's a shame...you used to laugh all the time when you were with me" She says matter-of-factly.
Her words catch you off guard, mostly because it was true. Being with Ellie was filled with nothing but smiles and laughs, the ones that had you keeling over and holding onto your belly as you shed a tear or two, unable to control the laughter that left your body, the happiness that filled you up when she was able to pull it out of you.
You hadn't even realized it, but you were pretty sure the last time you laughed like that, was with Ellie.
You hum softly, staring down at your lap as you toy with the frills of your dress, thinking back to all of those times, wishing so badly you could be that girl again.
Wishing you could live that life again.
It's getting late at this point, the warm summer breeze growing colder the higher the moon rises into the sky. It blows onto your skin, goosebumps littering your arms. You feel it's time to tell Ellie to leave, the air growing heavy as you both sit there in silence, her words hanging between you, begging to be responded to.
When you open your mouth to tell her that you're tired, and that she should probably head home, you're interrupted by the feeling of her calloused fingers gently gripping your chin, pulling you to look into her eyes.
"I....I don't know what happened...or why you two decided to split up..." she mumbles softly, and you know she's referring to your ex wife without even saying her name.
She inhales deeply, pink tongue darting out to wet her plump lips slowly before she speaks again. "But I couldn't imagine ever letting someone like you go....no matter what" she sighs out, her eyes staring into yours intensely.
And suddenly, you aren't you anymore. You are, but....you're a different you. You're the you that's filled with hopes and dreams, the you that wrote in her diary every night about everything she was going to do once she made it, the you that would peek her head out of her window to see her girlfriend standing out on her lawn, waiting to pick her up, take her out, and simply drive with the music on and the windows down, enjoying each others company.
You're the you, that's in love with Ellie.
Her green eyes sparkle like gems in the moonlight, the white light illuminating half of her pretty face, making a lump form in your throat as you struggle to find the words to say. You can feel her hand gently creep up to cup your face, and it makes your skin burn even hotter beneath her touch.
The familiar sound of the wind chimes rings through your ear, transporting you back to that very same night, five years ago when you were splayed out on the lawn that was a mere few feet away from you, kissing and loving on your girlfriend that you adored with all your heart.
Ellie hears them too, her eyes glancing up at them above your head. She chuckles softly, hand still caressing your cheek gently before she speaks. "Haven't heard those since the last time I saw you..." She hums out.
With that, it's as if your body moves itself for you, deciding your faith before you can, because you waste no time in leaning in and pressing your lips to hers in a kiss that can only be described as longing, having gone far too long without feeling the pair that they so desperately wanted pressed up against.
Ellie melts into you almost immediately, her other hand coming up to cup your cheek as she kisses you back passionately. Both of your hands come up to hold onto either of her wrists, keeping her close as you lean further into her, wanting more of the girl.
You need her more than air, easily letting her grip your thighs and tug you down to straddle her lap, your hands going up to tangle themselves in her soft hair. When she finally does break the kiss, her lips are on your neck, and your jaw, and your cheeks, and the corner of your mouth, eager to feel any part of you on her needy mouth as her hands roam your body eagerly.
"Missed you so fuckin' much...my dream girl" She moans out, making you whimper as you tug her hair back, angling her face back up towards yours before smashing your lips against hers.
"Let's....let's go inside...." You moan into her mouth, the kiss messy and sloppy as she nods eagerly before the request has even fully escaped your lips.
You waste no time crawling off her lap and tugging her inside, the two of you giggling and moaning as you stumble over your own feet in a dance of need and desperation, the both of you clearly in need of one another.
Ellie is tugging off her shirt as you two make your way through the door, helping you tug off your dress as she stumbles out of her jeans quickly after.
A pile of clothes leads the both of you to your bed, the girl laying you down and crawling over you, strong hands caressing your soft body, tugging at your bra and your panties, mouthing away at your newly exposed skin.
"You don't know how many times I've thought about this...thought about you like this" she admits, needy hands gripping at your waist, pulling you flush against her half naked body as she kisses up to your lips again, slowly pushing her tongue into your mouth as she groans against you, strong hands massaging your skin, kneading it between her fingers.
You moan into her, nodding eagerly as your hands tug her closer, wanting her as close to your body as possible.
"I have to..." you admit mindlessly.
You don't realize it then, but it's the first time that you've allowed yourself to admit that to someone, even to yourself. Those were secrets that you're buried down so deep into your mind, you weren't even sure they were true anymore.
Ellie was able to pull them out thought.
"Gonna...fuckin' worship you...like you deserve, baby.." she moans out, her lips pressing against your boobs that were spilling out of your bra, nipping and biting at your exposed skin.
But when she says that, it's like all the lights suddenly turned on.
It all comes weighing down on you in an instant, what happened, what you'd been through. Your wife had cheated on you with another woman, she promised you everything, the world at your feet if you asked for it, yet she still threw it all away as if none of it was real, as if none of it mattered.
Who's to say Ellie wouldn't do the same?
Your body goes limp beneath her, and Ellie catches onto it immediately, frowning gently as she pulls away to see her suspicions were confirmed.
"Baby? Hey...you with me angel?" She calls out as she watches you staring up at the ceiling, your eyes glossing over as if you weren't even there.
Because you weren't, you were back in your bedroom, in your apartment in the city, watching the woman you thought loved you back, fuck another woman into your mattress as if she were you.
You weren't ready for this.
"I...I can't do this.." You mumble out, voice cracking as your throat began swelling up from the tears pooling in your eyes.
Ellie is quick to sit up with you, tugging the blankets on your bed up so that you were able to shield your chest from the cold air that circled your room, her hand coming up to your back as she peered down at you, brushing your hair out of your face.
"Sweetheart, what is it? did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?" she urges, desperately trying her best to understand what happened, what caused the sudden shift in the atmosphere.
You feel sick to your stomach, shaking your head as the tears begin spilling out onto your cheeks, keeping the blanket tugged close to your chest as you brush Ellies hands away from your face.
"I can't...you need to leave...please leave!" you sob out, shaking your head as all the images of your ex wife come flooding in.
Ellie frowns deeply as she watches you push her away, shutting her out and putting those same walls up that she could feel even when you were miles and miles away from her in the city.
She knows she can't get through to you, not now at least. So she simply gets up off your bed, tugs on her t shirt and jeans, goes downstairs and walks out of your house, her heart breaking as she hears your sobs echoing through the house, following her as she left you there.
And as you laid there, crying in your bed once again, ugly images run through your mind,
it isn't the thought of your ex wife cheating on you, that hurts, but its merely a dull blade to your side now that you've felt Ellie again, those feelings coming back the second her lips were on yours.
No...it's the thought of Ellie doing those things. It's the thought of her promising you the world and still throwing it away, even after she put a pretty ring on your finger.
Because love is ruined for you now, and you aren't entirely sure you could trust anyone to give it to you again.
Even Ellie.
865 notes · View notes
nervoussagittarius · 2 days
Text
strike out
Tumblr media
matt sturniolo x reader
summary: three times you try to get the attention of your boyfriend and one time he finally notices, but it’s to late. part two
warnings: swearing, major angst, kinda shitty boyfriend matt, break up
THE STREAMING INCIDENT
your day seemingly couldn’t have gotten worse. you started your morning with a flat tire. having to call a tow truck and an uber costing you a whopping three hundred dollars. you got to work and everything was going fine until you you cut your hand on a box opener causing you to have to get six stitches to your palm. all you wanted to do now was see your boyfriend and his brothers because you knew that could cheer you up.
walking up the stairs into the common area of the triplets house, you were already greeted with chris and nick. you could tell this is what you needed. you just needed to be around your favorite boys. “whoa kid what did you do to your hand?” chris exclaimed when he saw the blood covered gauze on your palm. “honestly chris i don’t really want to begin to talk about how shitty my day was,” you said with a chuckle, “but i cut it in a box opener at work and had to go get some stitches. no biggie.”
“no, that is a biggie,” nick said. “yeah just wait until matt finds out.” chris responds giving you a side hug. “we’re glad you’re okay now though. go get your man.”
with your spirits brightened you made your way to matt’s room. his lights were on and he was at his desk playing fortnite. you walked over to him with a smile etched on your face. once you got to him you put your arms around his shoulders from behind and rested your head on top of them. “hey i’m streaming,” he said gently removing you from him. he muted his mic for a minute telling the stream he’d be right back. your relationship was definitely no secret so him reacting this way was a bit confusing. he got up from his chair and pulled you out of frame from the stream. “i’m gonna be a little bit can you go wait in the living room?” before you got the chance to respond he was ushering you out of his room and closing the door in your face.
“hey what was that about?” chris asks from the couch. “no clue” you responded with a shrug.
a few hours went by with still no acknowledgement from matt. you decided you would say goodbye quick before heading home. you knocked on his door hearing a quick ‘come in’. opening the door to find him laying in bed. you were confused as to why he didn’t come out to see you or ask you to come sit with him, but you brushed it off.
“hey, i just wanted to let you know that i’m leaving.” you said with a smile that was quickly removed when matt barely noticed your presence. “matt?” he finally looked up. “i didn’t appreciate how you just barged into my room earlier. i was streaming and they didn’t have to see you all over me.” matt said raising his voice.
you were so incredibly shocked at his words that you were speechless. tears began to well up in your eyes. “i’m so sorry. it won’t happen again.” you quickly made your way out of his room and past nick and chris not wanting to raise suspicions due to your state. you went home that night feeling utterly alone and confused. strike one.
THE PARTY
Tara’s parties had become the biggest events of the year. when the boys introduced you to tara you guys immediately hit it off, becoming basically inseparable. when tara asked you to host a party with her you knew it was an opportunity you couldn’t turn down.
since matt missed her one million party he promised to join you guys at this one. you guys had tara’s house completely decked out in black and pink decorations. the dj was beginning to play music and drinks were being poured. people filled in quickly, and you and tara began to make your rounds. saying hi to everyone, taking shots, and dancing.
you weren’t a big drinker. it was safe to say that you and the triplets were the four most sober people in tara’s house, but that didn’t stop you from questioning yourself when you thought your eyes were fooling you. there matt was against a back wall of the living room talking to some random girl. you didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but you couldn’t help how your stomach turned in jealousy as you watched them.
matt was supposed to be by your side tonight. you knew he wasn’t the biggest partier but you figured he’d at least take comfort by you as you guys enjoyed yourselves. you quickly made your way to nick and chris. “hey who’s that girl matt’s with?” you questioned. the music was so loud it was hard to hear their response, they both made comments about how they didn’t know who she was either. “i’m going to go talk to him.”
you pushed through the crowd, being stopped multiple times to take pictures. you adjusted your dress and finally made it to matt. he stopped his conversation as you slid you hand down his arm into his. he hastily yanked his hand away throwing you for a loop. you quickly collected yourself. “hey, i don’t want to interrupt, but i was wondering is you wanted to dance with me.” before matt could comment the girl across from his spoke up. “if you didn’t want to interrupt then why did you?” she asked with an attitude.
not wanting to get into a fight you simply scoffed and walked away. your heart broke a little bit when matt didn’t come after you. instead he went back to his conversation and you went to a bottle of vodka. strike two.
THE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY
after your past two humiliating bad encounters, matt had become more and more distant with you. months had gone by where you felt like you were walking on eggshells everytime you were around him. some days he was your normal happy matt, but most days he was miserable and tired and mean. he made everything bad in his life your fault. you tried not to overthink it. everyone has bad days, but matt’s been having bad months and it’s starting to take a toll on you.
today was yours and matt’s two year anniversary. you were so excited but you couldn’t help but feel hesitant. you didn’t know what kind of mood matt was going to be in today. he had been in meetings with nick and chris that morning, but nick let you know that they were done at 2 so matt had agreed to meet you at 7.
these plans had been set in stone for weeks if not a month. you even reminded matt about it the night before to make sure he was still okay with the itinerary. you somehow had managed to get reservations to matt’s favorite restaurant and the place you had your first date. places like this booked out months in advance so you had stocked the waiting list for this exact day to open up. after that you guys were going to go to the theater. matt wasn’t a huge theater fan but he agreed because he knew how much you loved it, and because you made the dinner reservation based around him. it seemed only fair.
you left your house at 6:30 sending matt a quick text that you were heading to the restaurant, making it there just in time for your reservation. matt not being on time was unusual. so when you arrived before him it was a little shocking. you sent him another text asking him if he was on his way as the waiter brought you over to your table.
after an hour, 10 texts, 2 phone calls, and still no response from matt, the waiter came back over to your table politely asking you to leave as others were waiting to be seated. you couldn’t tell him no. even though you really wanted to keep waiting for matt you had a feeling he wasn’t going to show. you knew how hard it was to get a seat in this restaurant so you weren’t going to take that away from a happy couple who would enjoy it.
the tears didn’t come until you were safely in the car and out of the view of the public. you felt embarrassed. you had just been stood up by your boyfriend of two fucking years. you didn’t understand what had happened.
you tried calling him again from your car. it didn’t even ring this time. you were sent straight to voicemail. the tears came faster and the sobs became louder as you watched the sunset from your window. you decided calling chris might give you the best chance of reassurance. unlike your call to your boyfriend, chris picked up instantly. “hey kid! what’s up?aren’t you with matt for your anniversary?” chris’s energy seemed slightly draining to you in this moment. you tried to think of ways to respond without completely bashing his triplet brother out of the pain you were feeling. “actually that’s why i’m calling you… matt didn’t show up. i was wondering if you’ve seen or heard from him at all.” there was a brief moment of silence from chris as he tried to process the information he was just given. last he knew matt was with you, but as he made his way upstairs he realized matt was still in his room. “hey y/n/n, matt’s still in his room let me see what he’s doing. mute yourself for a sec, okay?”
you listened carefully to their conversation as you realized matt had no intentions meeting you tonight. “hey matt! what are you doing tonight?” “i’m going to that party with paige.” the mention of another girls name made your stomach turn. you didn’t want to believe matt was cheating on you. “what about y/n? wasn’t your anniversary thing tonight?” chris was trying to get the most information out of matt and you were internally grateful.
“i don’t know chris. i tuned her out months ago. she’s so needy. it’s not like i’m cheating on her i just need some space.” that’s when you decided you’d heard enough. you can’t believe the things matt’s said, but his words did match his actions so you weren’t totally surprised. one thing about matt was that he was always honest. even if it was at the expense of another.
you drove home that night in silence. hurt by matt, mad at yourself, and in shock at the world. strike three.
THE HALF-ASSED APOLOGY
since your anniversary date with matt that he blew off, you’ve decided to give him the space he apparently wants. even after a month, you still hadn’t heard anything from him. not a text, not a call, not even a lousy snapchat.
you had heard from nick and chris though. they were disappointed in matt, to say the least. as much as you wanted to be petty and still hangout with those two you knew it wasn’t right. they shouldn’t have to pick sides between their friend and their brother. family comes first, and that’s what you told them when they came over to your house begging you to come talk to matt. you stopped responding to them after that night.
since it had been a quite few weeks, you established a new routine that was the rotation of work and home. you know you shouldn’t have, but you watched every video the triplets had put out. your focus was always drawn to matt. you tried to pinpoint if there was a shift in his attitude or if he seemed different. it hurt when you realized he seemed happier.
you had just gotten home from work when you were making dinner and there was an interruption in your routine. a knock came to your front door. when you looked out and saw matt you were shocked. you could’ve never expected this. you spent the first two weeks of your separation wishing and hoping matt would show up at your front door, but now you don’t know if you want to hear what he has to say.
you quickly fixed your posture as you opened the front door. you wanted to look like you had your shit together even though you were slowly falling apart. matt spoke first, “can i come in?” you didn’t know if any words would come out if you even attempted to open your mouth so you opted to just open the door wider allowing him entrance.
“i wanted to come talk to you. i hadn’t heard from you in a while so i thought i’d come check up on you.” matt seemed so oblivious and this made you angry. you could feel the pain and frustration bring tears to your eyes. you were no longer crying out of sadness.
“matt…i’m going to be so for real with you right now.” you paused to take a deep breath. you were trying so hard to keep your composure. “i genuinely don’t know what’s going through your head. how can you sit here and say you want to check up on me when i haven’t heard a peep out of you for a month matt. a fucking month.” “i know i’m sorry-” “i’m not done. you abandoned me on our anniversary to go to some random assholes party with a girl you barely know. you told chris that you didn’t care about us and that i was needy.” he looked at you in surprise and you could tell there was a slight hint of shame in his eyes. “yeah i new about that.” you added.
you kept going, you had so much pent up frustration with matt that you couldn’t hold in your feelings anymore. “for months i let go of the yelling and the bad moods just for you to turn around and go off with other girls. how is that fair? how did you sit at home for a month and not wonder what your girlfriend was doing? you haven’t heard from me because you wanted space, but i also don’t remember hearing from you either.” you were so upset that you were basically hyperventilating. matt grabbed your hand and used his other to wipe your face. “you have to breath, sweetheart. can you please breath for me?” matt asks. you push him off of you him a frenzy. you ran your hands through your hair giving him a teary laugh. “can i do it for you?” you asked. matt felt that in this moment if looks could kill he’d be dead. “i’m done doing anything for you. if the past month wasn’t any indication, we’re done.” “no y/n you don’t mean that.” he tried walking over to you but you put your hand up signaling for him to stay back. “y/n i am so sorry for everything. please you just have to give me another chance. i promise i can be better.” you chose not to acknowledge him anymore. the back and forth wasn’t going to get you anywhere. you silently walked over to your door and opened it. matt looked at you with a pleeding look before inevitably giving in, leaving your house. you slammed the door behind him falling into it as tears streamed down your face. you’re out.
an: my own feelings have been hurt by this one.
359 notes · View notes
Text
His Angel | Bucky Barnes
Co-Written with @imtryingbuck
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 -> Avenger!Bucky Barnes x Angel!Female!Reader
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 -> Experiment for Hydra but his Angel for Bucky.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 -> (T) mention of violence and guns, panic attack, fluff
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 -> 883
𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓 -> ignore if recs are closed :3 maybe angel!reader helping bucky thru a panic attack? like he thinks when he dies hes gonna suffer in hell for the stuff the winter soldier did and we calm him down and help him? u can add smut if u want but u dont have to !! @dethspllz
𝐀/𝐍 -> Thank you for the request. Since @bucks-babe got the same request it’s linked here “My guardian, my angel, my love” which is such a wonderful oneshot and highly recommend!
𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
An Angel.
An Angel they called you, it wasn’t necessary for the wings that were attached to your back but because you had the ability to calm everything including the deadliest of storms just by your presence. You were the sweetest and most softest person they had ever met.
For three years you had been a member of the team after they had found you trapped in a high ceiling cell. You heard the gun fire and grew scared, extending your wings you flew up in hopes the vibranium chain would finally break apart and you would be able to grab ahold of the metal bars on the ceiling. For several years you had been trapped, used and abused by the members of Hydra they had put you in a cell with a hole in the ceiling, tormenting you with your freedom right there, just out of reach. The more you flapped your wings sheer desperation and fear the floor began being covered in white soft feathers.
By the time they found you, you was backed in the corner with your knees pulled up to your chest and your nearly bare wings around your shaking frame. They were shocked by the amount of feathers littering the floor. The way your voice shook when you begged them not to hurt you had their hearts aching.
From the moment they freed you from the chains you became apart of their family.
Tumblr media
Natasha noticed you no longer hid your wings from anyone - had been to scared to show them to anyone that wasn’t your family - they were always out and you were now free from the pain in your back from keeping them in all the time.
Sam noticed how much your smile would take up your whole entire face when he asked you if you wanted to fly with him. Both of you taking off into the air, your eyes bright, your laughter filling the sky as you both flew around.
Steve noticed how your wings would get fluffier in the winter and in the summer there would be trail of feathers wherever you went.
Wanda noticed the way your wings would flutter whenever a certain brunette super soldier was around. She had asked you if you had feelings for Bucky, quickly dropping the subject when she saw the tears in your eyes and when your wings folded themselves inwards.
But it was Bucky that noticed the change in colour of your wings. “Doll…”
“Yes?”
“You’re… they… wow” you frowned at him, looking at them feeling completely confused about his reaction. It wasn’t the first time he had seen them so you had no idea why he was reacting the way he was.
“Wh-what’s wrong with them?”
“They’re turning gold…”
You turned around, and your mouth dropped open when you saw the slight gold glittering on your wings. It looked gorgeous, the way the feathers were glistening in the light of the sun. Bucky looked just as impressed as you did. He took a step closer, reaching out his hand to slide his fingers with a soft, smooth movement over the feathers of your wings.
“It looks pretty; I mean, you never looked pretty,” Bucky stuttered and smirked softly.
Your wings never changed color, but with every movement of Bucky’s fingers over the feathers and his other hand, which was touching your arm slightly, they changed even more into the gold glitter.
“T—Thank you. It never changed the colors before,” you said, turning to face Bucky.
He smirked at you, feeling goosebumps underneath his fingers. Bucky caressed your skin softly, admiring the gold in your wings.
“Doll, I—I love you,” he mumbled, looking into your eyes. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
You lifted your arms, wrapping them around his neck to pull him closer. Your lips were only inches away from yours, and you could feel his breath on them, smiling softly.
“I love you too, Bucky.”
He smiled, then his expression turned serious again, and his body started to tremble. Bucky let himself fall down on the bed behind him, his hands running through his soft brown hair when he looked at you. You were walking closer, kneeling in front of him, your arms resting on his thighs while your hands grasped his hands and you stroked his soft skin slightly.
“What’s wrong?”
“You’re so beautiful, and you love me. B—But you shouldn’t. I don’t deserve your love,” he said, tears building in his eyes and falling down his cheeks.
“Buck, don’t say that. You deserve so much love. The winter soldier did things that weren’t the greatest, but you— you're Bucky, a wonderful man who is sometimes a bit confused,” you said, giggling softly.
Bucky’s heart warmed when you said that and when your sweet laugh echoed through the room. He breathed deeply, closing his eyes for a moment, when he suddenly felt your soft wings around him. With a soft grin on his lips, he opened his eyes, looking directly into yours, and leaned closer to kiss you gently.
There he was — home with you. Your closeness, your touches, and your skin always feel like home, and when you laugh or talk, he is sure there is nothing that could sound better than that. You’re his pretty doll.
Tumblr media
𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @kandis-mom @sergeantbarnessdoll @identity2212 @km-ffluv @lunaalovesyouu @blackhawkfanatic @armystay89 @suz7days @etherealdisneyvillainness @pono-pura-vida @randomawesomeperson102 @rogersbarber @sebastianstanisahotmf @bucky-barnes-lover @felicitylemon @cjand10 @bookishtheaterlover7 @lives-in-midgard @casa-boiardi @futurequeen2018-blog @flstrawberry @capsbestgirl77 @nervouseden @jiyascepter @princesscore-angel
150 notes · View notes
Text
wrong number
'you get a phone call and find out it's a wrong number but realize that you don't want to stop talking to the person at the other end. come to find out, he's from another decade.’
eddie munson x reader/ eddie munson x gn!reader
warning(s): cursing, au (not sure if it would be considered an au but imma put it), mention of modern time. I'm just putting tags I'm not even sure what to tag this under. lmk if there are more.
a/n: prompt # 4 from the strangerprompts by @allthingsjoeq @somnambulic-thing and @bettyfrommars. mkay, I've never done these types of things or participated before, but yknow, I took a shot and I liked it lol so thank you guys!
"What?"
Your voice was nothing short of clipped. The results of hearing your phone vibrate too many times for you to tolerate another call going unanswered.
It was abnormal in your opinion. To receive this many calls from the same number within a short time.
While sure, you occasionally complained about the lack of service that came through the device due to your inability to actually hold a relationship with anybody, much less a conversation, this isn't what you were looking for.
And if your shortness wasn't clear enough before, your annoyance must've been by the way you questioned a 'hello,' with a lifted brow. Not really saying it as one should when normally speaking to someone. That was, if anyone was even on the other side.
"Uh, hello." The voice imitated your previous tone, pulling out the last vowel as he sung it.
He.
If you had to guess, probably no more than your age.
"Huh, so you can speak? You know you could've begun with that? When someone picks up the phone after being called, who knows how many times," you state through your teeth, "the least you could do is have the decency to actually say something when they answer."
"Y’know I don’t like your tone, we’re going to try this again.” He mouthed.
“Wait, what? No-”
He hung up before you could refuse. Your phone pulled away from your ear as your mind tried to catch up with what just happened. And in the midst of that, your phone vibrated, again.
Your finger hovered over the button as you eyed the device, sliding it over when you’d been staring long enough.
“Hello?” You questioned, unsure. The shift in your tone is clearly obvious.
“You learn quickly.”
The same voice replied back, and his response had you narrowing your eyes.
Asshole.
“I had said it before. You were the one who needed the lesson in how to answer back.” You reiterate.
“Well, m’not about to respond to somebody who starts a conversation with 'what.' I mean, have you no manners?" The guy said. You could hear the lilt in his voice and how he seemed to be grinning on the other side, but you had to shake your head from thinking any further on it because there was still a question that you'd been meaning to ask.
"Who are you?"
"It's your conscience, clearly I haven't been able to get through to you which is why you're probably lacking, well, manners, but- worry not, for I am here."
You weren't sure if it was you still trying to comprehend everything that's happened in the last few minutes, or that this guy knew how to pull conversation so easily that you went along with it- but you hadn't even realized he never properly answered or that he just lowkey called you out on something you knew was evident to a blind person.
And you didn't even correct him, and rather than just hang up on someone you didn't know, you stayed on the phone and chose to enlighten him.
"Hm, so that's what that was? Who would've thought I'd have one of those," you sighed and shrugged, leaning back against the bed frame. You could hear him snort at the small insult you'd given yourself, hearing the feign in your voice was enough to let him know your humor was in tack.
It made you grin. The first of many, and the first in a while to tell the truth. You also couldn't stop yourself from thinking about how this was probably the longest conversation you've ever held with someone.
"I'm Eddie." His voice pulled you from your thoughts, trying to catch up in the moments you'd been away.
"Huh?"
You could hear chuckling before it was repeated. "My name. You asked me who I was."
Eddie.
It didn't sound familiar. You didn't know anyone named Eddie, but then again, you didn't really know anyone and you had questioned it when you guy's began talking. It was a number you'd never seen before either so there was that.
You hadn't realized you'd been quiet until Eddie spoke.
"Y'know, this is where you tell me your name." He remarked. "We really gotta work on your communication skills and social cues." Unbeknownst to you though, since you only just met the guy, he shouldn't be one to talk.
You let out something between a scoff and a breathy chuckle before telling him yours. And Eddie repeated what you did moments ago- saying your name under his breath, to himself- as if he was worried he'd forget it in those few seconds.
It was easy to get into conversation with him, primarily because he kept pulling you into things he’d knew would get a response out of you. Like saying shit that you’d end up reprimanding him for because it annoyed you.
He knew that, and you weren’t so sure you liked how transparent you seemed to be. You’d known him for only a short time and he already knew how to push your buttons. Which you told him but his response was anything but what you expected it to be. He simply shrugged it off, telling you that ‘you let it get to you.’
To which you rebutted fully knowing he was right, which annoyed you more. Though other than that, the conversation between you two had been decent.
There were a few times when you had been confused by what he’d been speaking about, but you just assumed it was the way he was. I mean, the guy spent- you’re guessing- most of his time today calling the wrong number, only to hang up on you just to call you again because he didn’t like your tone. And then went on to call you out on your shit, which by the way, you still haven’t let go of. Either way, you just thought that what he was talking about, was how he spoke. A sort of slang, you know? I mean, now, that’s all people use these days.
Who were you to question it? It’s not like you could ask anybody what it meant. You weren’t even sure what the words were yourself. I mean you did but nobody said that sort of thing anymore.
There were a few moments of silence that occurred, mainly between your guys' turns in speaking. It wasn’t until you heard him on his end that you asked what he’d been up to. He kept muttering something under breath.
Well, it was more him humming, every other minute or so though you’d hear a word, and the more he hummed- the more familiar it sounded.
“Is that…..Metallica?” You peeked, unsure if you were right. His side went quiet the second you said it, and you could assume it was because you were likely wrong in your guess.
“Y-You know Metallica?” Eddie enounced. He was standing upright, his previous stance of leaning on the frame gone, as he stood there with wide eyes and mouth agape at your sudden query.
So you were right.
“Uh, yes.” It came out sounding like a question rather than you stating the obvious. “My Uncle used to listen to them. Whenever he came over when I was younger, that was all I’d ever hear. He’d tell us he grew up on them, so it was only right that we did too.” You explained. Eddie’s mouth stretched up at hearing your words, too caught up in the story to comprehend what you just said.
“I’ve never-” and then it hit him. His brows pinched together as he pulled the phone away from his ear. Did he hear you right?  “Wait…grew up on them?” If it hadn’t been for the way you told the story, as if it actually happened, he would’ve thought you were pulling his leg. And you probably were so he just reacted logically. He chuckled. “Mkay, right right.” 
It was your turn to pinch your face together, not understanding his sudden shift or why he was chuckling to begin with. “What? It’s true. The man grew up on them.” You raised, still clearly confused by his response.
“Mhm, sure.” You could hear the way he pulled the word, like he wasn’t convinced at all. Why was it so hard for him to get that what you were saying was true? “He’d have to be my age, kid.” He voiced.
W-What? 
“Excuse me?” You uttered, sitting up from your bed frame. Not only were you confused but you were getting a little freaked out. He sounded young, your age, give or take. There was no way you had been conversing with a guy in his 50’s.
“You heard me, he’d have to be my age. There’s no way this guy grew up on them. The band isn’t even that old, it hasn’t been that long. I mean, I get we were joking before but man, you really got me there. I almost fell for it!” Eddie said. “How old are you?” He managed through his breathy laughs.
You could feel your heart pick up, the genuineness clear in his voice. He really thought you were joking, that everything you just said in the last few minutes was made up. But it hadn’t been and that’s what had you getting up from your bed. This was beginning to be too much for you.
“E-Eddie, what are you talking about? You’re freaking me out.”
And suddenly it wasn’t so amusing anymore. His face fell upon hearing your tone. The humor he once found in the situation, now gone, as he stared ahead. You sounded worried, alarmed even. It was quiet for a few seconds until he spoke, his tongue swiped his bottom lip before he did so.
“Uhm, look t-this isn’t-” his hand wiped down his face. “W-What are you talking about, man? One minute we're laughing and joking around and the next you’re telling me about your Uncle growing up on Metallica. There’s no way! Mkay?” He was getting agitated, visibly shaken up as he thought about you on the other side in the same state. “Like I said, the band isn’t even that old. It's only been a couple of years, it’s 1986 for christ sake!” And though he had been saying it all so fast, you still understood them. It’s why you felt yourself unable to move upon hearing his last few words.
1986. 
The numbers repeated over and over in your head as you stood there. 
“W-What?” You stuttered, voice shaky as you asked. It wasn’t possible. “It’s not!” You raise, your hands moving with a mind of their own as you swiped out of where you were and looked at the screen. In the corner of your phone, the current date stared back. The time you were currently in. As in, right now. You could hear Eddie speaking but because you didn’t have it against your ear, you couldn’t tell what exactly he’d been saying.
It’s not possible, it's not possible, it’s not.
He said it like it was true. He didn't just think it was 86', he was saying it like he knew it was. It was just impossible, the year he said, wasn’t the year you were in.
You lifted the phone back up to your ear, hands unable to keep still as you look ahead. Your eyes glassy as you spoke.
“Who are you?”
Eddie’s breath picked up at the way you questioned it, your voice at a whisper. He ran his hand through his hair again, already disheveled from how many times he’d done it prior to when you went quiet.
“I told you. My name is Eddie....and it's 1986."
Your eyes shut as he uttered his name, the lack of deceit evident.
a/n: I wasn't sure how to end it.
feedback and reblogs are appreciated.
145 notes · View notes
dearbraus · 1 day
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
— Ajax
⊹ Details. 18+ minors dni, gn!reader, sfw, mentions of wounds, coerion, and debt, set after the 4.2 archon quest. ⊹ Run time. 2.6k ⊹ Note. This has been in the drafts since October and I just decided life is too short to keep everything in the drafts, enjoy
❝Your next form of repayment comes in the form of a half dead harbinger on your doorstep.❞
masterlist || next part
Tumblr media
The knock comes long after the sun has sunk beneath the lip of Stormbearers Point. You nearly mistake it for the rough pounding of wind and rain that pounds against your windows, rattling the glass, but the fist comes down once more with enough force to splinter the frame. The soles of your slippers slap against the aged oak wood as you rush over with nothing but a single candle to light the way. Your power blew out hours ago, leaving you with only the glow of your vision and the few spare candles to illuminate your home. A chill shoots through you as the door swings open with the force of the ferocious wind. Rain splatters against your face, nearly extinguishing your candle as you peer into the night.
Two low-ranking Fatui men stood on the other side of the door, they barged into your space without a word, tracking in mud and leaving puddles with each heavy stomp of their boots. Between them lay a man on a flimsy put-together cot, his skin was pale and damp. You hoped to wash your hands clean of them long ago but it seemed that once your limbs were caught within the Tsarita’s web there was no escape. The man's bright ginger was matted against his forehead and he shivered uncomfortably in his slumber. Rolling your sleeves up to your elbows, you shook your head in disbelief. 
“We’ll be back for him when he’s in peak condition,” the man with the garish top hat muttered gruffly as they dropped the cot down in the middle of your living room, “Don’t contact us before then.”
The thinly veiled threat and finality to his voice made your shoulders shake. They were left without sparing so much as a second glance towards their comrade who let out a pained groan as his body was carelessly thrown to the floor. You kept your expression school into a façade of neutrality. The few minutes that passed felt closer to an eternity as you held your breath, your chest burning from the tension. Wrapping your fingers around the stem of your candle stick, you rushed over to the living room. In the dim light, all you could see was the faint rise and fall of his chest. He appeared far weaker than he did before as you sunk into the plush floral rug that was soaking up the stormwater that soaked the man’s clothing.
His vision weakly pulsated, the rich blue glow growing faint, “Archons above, just what have I gotten myself into …” you grumble, pressing the back of your hand to the man's clammy skin. He was warm, too warm  but still he shivered in his restless sleep.
Wax dripped over your knuckles as you hastily shoved it onto your side table. Hissing beneath your breath, you rushed over to your fireplace. There were few logs left to burn but they’d be enough to tide you until morning came and the storm subsided, then you could hike over to Springvale and haggle Draff to part with his store of dry wood. He didn’t need it when he spent most nights passed out at the Angel’s Share. Your frigid fingers fumble with the matches, you snap two of them in half from the rough way you drag them against the matchbox before you manage to light one. The flames are slow to grow but they’re willing to work with you so long as you gently stoke the embers. You silently thank Barbatos, casting a quick look behind you.
You’d need to strip him of his wet clothing and wrap him in something warm. The thought made your stomach churn uncomfortably. Even if it were possible to rouse the man from his fever induced slumber, it’d be unkind. You wished in that moment your vision would morph from dendro to pyro. At least then you’d be able to dry his clothing whilst preserving his modesty, well whatever modicum of modesty a man could have when all he wore were tattered, blood stained clothing. 
“I’m sorry,” you whisper through gritted teeth as you peel back the remains of his grey jacket. There was a soaked glob of gauze sloppily tied around his torso. 
You didn’t want to remove the bandage, you knew whatever it covered was likely to be infected. The longer you remained ignorant to his condition, the closer he came to death's door. Would that have been such a bad thing? For this man, yes, but for you? Finally, you’d be freed from this so called debt that left you on the Fatui’s roster but it was a cruel thought. This stranger did not deserve death because of your own stupidity and selfishness. The gaping hole of fissured flesh that ate away at the mans milky, freckled skin was infected. Sickly green pus oozes out when you lifted the soiled gauze. The urge to wretch rolls through your stomach. 
“You poor thing,” you mumble as you bury your nose into your shoulder, “They really did a number on you.”
The man makes no sound, he hardly stirs at the sound of your voice. Your heart sinks further into your chest, his condition was far worse than you were prepared for. It takes you three hours to remove the shoddy field job, disinfect his wounds, and wrap them once more. His wet clothing lies in tatters around him. They weren’t in very good condition but your guilt ate away at you as he lay bare before you with only a small fur blanket to keep him warm. Perhaps Draff or one of the other hunters may have some clothing to spare, if not, you were sure the Cathedral would have something lingering in the lost and found.
Your knees creak obnoxiously as you rise from the floor. Sunlight has begun to bleed through your windows as morning crept over the horizon and the storm has dwindled to a light spattering of rain. Grabbing his belt from the mess of fabric that soaked your carpet, you furrowed your brow. The light in his vision still weakly pulsed but as you turned it over, the swirling blue that belonged to hydro morphed into a deep crimson. Stamped in the middle was a symbol you were familiar with, it’s what was brandished by the men who barged into your house– it was the Fatui emblem. He must have possessed a delusion; that confirmed some of your suspicions, whoever this man was, he must have been high ranking within the Fatui. 
Fear rolled through your belly as you peered at the man's face. As he lay like this, he looked rather innocent. The telltale signs of time had yet to visit him. His cheeks were still round with youth, in spite of the many scars that littered his freckled skin. Shaking your head, you frowned a bit. You could not allow your guard to fall. You knew nothing of this man and a seemingly innocent expression did not mean cruelty didn’t live within him. Retching your gaze away, you pad down the hall to your bedroom. The trip into Springvale would be long but if you left soon, you’d catch the hunters before they embarked for the day.
You catch sight of your expression out of the corner of your eyes. Your mirror reflects your frail visage like a taunting mirage. Peering at the worn wood of your bedroom floor, you striped your soiled sleepwear. The white cotton is stained with mud and splotches of blood. You allow the cloth to fall to the ground with little fanfare. You’d deal with it whenever you returned home. It’d make fine kindling if you couldn’t scrub the stains out. Noelle, your friend and knight in training, might be able to clean them but she’d worry far too much about why you found yourself covered in blood. 
The cold tile of your bathroom is not welcoming. Goosebumps erupt along the expanse of your bare skin, the hair on the back of your neck rises as you step into the space. You can’t avoid the imposing reflection of your mirror, your blank expression haunts you as you putter around. Your tub fills slowly, the water is always tepid, it never grows warm enough for you to feel clean but it’s the price you pay for the solace of solidarity. Daring to look into your mirror, you size up your reflection. The dark circles that ring around your eyes seemed to have deepened, your eyes sinking sadly into your skill. Your skin is dull and lifeless but that was nothing new. 
Rolling your eyes, you turn away and dip your feet into the tub before the water has filled half way. The porcelain digs uncomfortably into your ribs as you lean over the edge, a heaving sigh passing your lips. You feel grimy, the filth clings to you like a second skin that cannot be cleaved away. 
Your bath leaves you unsatisfied. You gag on the scent of your valberry soap, it’s nauseatingly sweet. The leather of your hiking boots rubs against your skin in a way that makes you want to claw out your eyeballs. Still, you shove your sock clad feet inside and tightly lace them over the hem of your pants. The patches you used to cover up a few holes have begun to fray around the edges, you momentarily pause to poke at them. They’d need to be replaced soon.
The man is still resting peacefully when you pass through the living room. Though it’s unlikely, you write him a quick note, just in case he were to wake. Pressing your palm to his forehead, you note that he’s become less clammy. You hope that it’s a good sign.
As always, the trek from Stormbearers Point to civilization is long. You snack on nuts and berries as you descend the mountain. The air is damp and humidity hangs low but the sun is bright enough for you to momentarily forget your worries and appreciate the beauty of Mondstadt. In all your years, travelling across Teyvat, nothing could ever quite compare to home. Some days, you wish you had realised that before heading off with nothing but a couple hundred mora to your name and a dream to become a famous writer. If you kept your roots planted in the pot you were raised in, maybe that Harbinger wouldn’t have been able to take advantage of a green nineteen year old in desperate need. 
You sigh to yourself, willing away thoughts of the dark haired man with glasses who kept your soul caged within his fist. Your name is called before you’re able to register the town sign, “Good mornin’ to ya!” Draff shouts, his hand is pressed against his brow to block out the sun, “It’s been a while since ya came ‘round these parts!”
He seemed chipper. With the storm he likely couldn’t indulge in his nightly cap at the Angel’s Share. You shrink in on yourself, hoping that the others milling about the gate would be too busy to notice your presence. 
“Good morning,” you return the greeting once you’re close enough that he could hear you without shouting, “I was hoping you’d have some things for me?”
“Aye, you’re out of wood?”
You nod your head, peering around him to get a closer look at the stock he’s piled beneath the wooden stall. There’s a few half plucked pheasants splayed across a sheet, a crate of sunsettia’s, and a rather lofty pile of dried firewood. Shoving your hand into your pocket, you curl your fingers around the pouch of mora that felt far too light for your liking. Straightening your shoulders, you offer Draff a smile.
“I’m out of everything,” you admit with a nervous laugh, “But I’ll settle on as much wood as I can carry, medical supplies, and some clothing if Allan or Jotun can part with anything.”
Draff gives you a quizzical look, “Why not head into the city?” He asks, rubbing his calloused hands across his scraggly goatee, “If clothing’s what you’re looking for.”
“Ah well, I’m not looking for anything fancy!” You exclaim, your cheeks filling with embarrassment, “I just need some new clothes to muck around in the garden and can’t really afford to shell out the mora.”
“I’ll see what I can do for you, kid.”
Draff gives you a smile like he feels some kind of fatherly affection for you. It makes your skin crawl. His own child spent most nights alone in the city scheming in an effort to force him to curb his alcohol addiction. If he did feel something for you, even if it was pity, you didn’t want it. The stench of faux fatherly care makes your stomach roll as a new wave of nausea crashes into your belly.
“Thanks,” the smile you force burns the muscles in your face. 
You watch with tired eyes as he scurries away, rounding up a few familiar faces before disappearing into his meat shed. Your expression quickly drops as you plop yourself onto the closet tree stump you could find. Exhaustion tugs at your heart strings, begging for the solace of your bed, even with all the lumps and bumps of your worn mattress.
Marla and Brook pass you with a smile and a cart of freshly washed produce in tow. They carted goods into town for Blanche at the start of every week. With the Summer Solstice on the cusp of the horizon, and the heat of the new season pressing closer, Blanche and Mondstadt’s fruit vendors took smaller shipments throughout the week, lest they wanted their produce to spoil from sitting in the sun all day. Brook only pauses half way down the path to toss you a lustrous red apple with a toothy grin before leaving you to your lonesome. 
Turning the apple over in your hand, you examine the pattern in the smooth, silken skin to bid your time. Sweat gathers at the nape of your neck and dribbles down the curve of your spine. No matter how you twist and turn, there's no comfort to be found beneath the brutal beating sun and a sweat damp shirt. 
Morning melds into the afternoon as you sit in wait, watching the people of Springvale come together to offer you what little they had. Your stomach twists uncomfortably with each smile and quick, “Thank You” and empty promises of repayment that you press into the palm of their hands. You trek home with a heavy wagon and an even heavier heart. Mentally catalogue how long you’ll be able to stretch your supplies if the man's wound was not as bad it looked. A melody of brains stain your lips, one to Barbatos, another to Rex Lapis, a third to Beezelbub, to any Archon that may receive them and return your wishes swiftly.
By the time you’ve returned home, exhaustion has carved out a space between your bones. Your clothing clings uncomfortably but there is no cool bath in your future. Kicking off your muddied boots, you to look the living room where he lays. His chest slowly rises and falls with each shallow breath he takes. He didn’t die while you were away. You wonder if that was a good sign. The floorboards creak beneath your socked feet as you step closer to him, kneeling into the plush of your rug. You’d need to throw it away, it’s stained with his blood. Reaching out to brush back a few sweat soaked curls you freeze in shock.
A pair of bloodshot, dull blue eyes stare groggily back at you.
He was awake.
Tumblr media
© all content belongs to dearbraus. do not modify, repost, or redistribute.
networks: @enchantedforest-network
55 notes · View notes
teasteeper · 2 days
Text
baby don't cry (c.j)
Tumblr media
pairing: bf!jiung x f!reader
genre: smut 18+ mdni
warnings: crying, dacryphilia, bruises, pinv
words: 0.7k
a/n: first exam tomorrow (today actually.. it's past midnight) but i can't stop thinking about him ;c my first time writing jiung hehe enjoy xo p.s. i hope i made you proud @xhdream <3
you've always had such a hard time controlling your emotions, feeling heat rush to your cheeks and tears brim your eyes at any minor inconvenience. the smallest things made you feel so defeated, needing someone to put the pieces back together. luckily you have jiung, who lives to make it all better for you.
as much as he loves wiping your warm tear-streaked cheeks with the pad of his thumb and watching the corners of your mouth turn up as he whispers sweet things in your ear, another part of him perks when he senses you're about to break. to jiung, there's something so sweet in your expression of initial shock, those few seconds where your eyes get wide as you try to hold back tears, and how you always fail, lips jutting out in a pout before fat tears start rolling down your cheeks.
"jiunggg" your voice on the verge of tears makes him look up from his computer. one of your hands is extended towards his face, showing him four manicured nails and one broken one — the same nails he spent last night painting for you, "it broke"
and there's that pretty, heartbroken look on your face, pouty lips and glassy eyes. his heart swells in his chest at the way you look at him expectantly, how much you rely on him to fix everything. he didn't understand when you told him about your previous relationships, how your other partners found your neediness a burden. it might be jiung's favourite thing about you — he's dreamed of a girl like you, who follows him around like a puppy and needs him like she needs air to breathe.
"come here, baby. let me see" he doesn't ever coo at you, always calm and collected in contrast to your distress. "don't cry, pretty girl" he says without meaning it, his lips turning up in a lopsided grin as your tears start to fall. he guides you to straddle his lap, big hands smoothing up and down your sides as your sobs wrack your frame.
maybe it's the way you can't control yourself, your chest heaving against his broad one, arms wrapped around his shoulders and head buried in his neck, your gasps brushing his skin. maybe it's the way you're hyper-sensitive to his touch, your hiccups turning to soft whines as his slender fingers sneak under your shirt. you attach your lips to his neck, soothing yourself by getting him as close as possible, pressing your hips down to press your tummy against him.
maybe it's how vulnerable you get, mentally exhausted and physically malleable. maybe the blood rushing to jiung's cock is just an indicator of what you need to calm down, and not just an indicator of how much he likes seeing you cry. that's what he tells himself anyway as he carries you to bed, maneuvering your limbs out of your clothes and pushing your knees apart.
his gaze is set on your face when he eases his cock into you. maybe the fresh tears on your cheeks shouldn't turn him on as much as they do, but he can't help but think you look like he's already fucked you, your cheeks flushed and pupils wide, looking at him like he's the only person you see. he can't hold back the deep groan that leaves his chest as he bottoms out in your heat, slick walls squeezing him so tight. his pace is slow but unrelenting, pulling small breathy whines from you between your sniffles, sounding around the room with the steady beat of his hips against the backs of your thighs.
you're so perfect for him like this, jiung thinks, your puffy lips parting without hesitation as he pushes his thumb into your mouth, your moans getting muffled as you suck around the digit. and when he bends his neck down to bring his lips to your chest, sucking and nipping harshly to mark your skin, you just take it without so much as a few high pitches mewls. the bruises he leaves on your skin match your flushed cheeks and bloodshot eyes, and he's left slack-jawed as he finishes with you, wondering how your sweet sensitivity could ever burden anyone — his perfect girl.
62 notes · View notes
rojacatmisa · 1 day
Text
Tumblr media
Starting over in Madrid
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
Holà, this is chapter 3. Not sure about the trigger warnings but I don't think it needs one. I think the way I want to tell my story works better by leaving some suspense. Let's say it's a slow burn and obviously and they will make out one day, so at a time there will be some explicit but not crude scenes.
Reminder : I'm french. Don't hesitate to tell me if there there's very strange sentences or things you don't get. Sorry I hope to get better by keeping writing.
Chapter 3 : Calmly panicking 
Tumblr media
"That one’s actually very good, Hayley !" The camera screen displayed the goalkeeper in the air, her jumping body suspended as she grabbed the ball in her gloves. Droplets of sweat nimbed her forehead and spred all around her. Her thick brows were frowned in the effort. In addition to her beauty, what made the photo stood out was the technically tricky to capture action of Misa s’moving body. 
Things were surprisingly going well at the Ciudad. Nothing had changed between Misa and I and as I was getting very fond of my job, I had commited for it to stay that way. We were having photo lessons almost every day after training sessions. We were occasionally joined by the northern girls Sofie, Freja and Caroline. But most of the time, it was the three of us that sat in a pitch corner, talking for hours until the staff would finally kicked us out of the stadium. 
"Thanks Nicky! I’m thinking about buying a camera, I love photography for real!." Boasted Hayley. 
"You should, teacher says you’re ready". Hayley has indeed proven herself an implicated student. She had applied my technical advices but she had also been willing to experiment on her own. As a result, she was showing she had a taste for moving models and lights effects. Sometimes she would take neat actions with sharp details, sometime she’d rather set the presets to create blurry scenes where the bodies outlines melted in the background. 
As to Misa… well Misa’s photos were Misa’s. She was having a hard time to concentrate and her taste level was really questionnable. She would put too much grain or contrast. Every shots were oddly framed. When I tried to guide her toward subtler artistic choices, she would say "Pero me gusta el efecto !" or "Vale Nicky, but I am the artist" with her now well known over the top manners. Misa was much: pretty, athletic, funny, goofy… and stubborn. She was doing everything at a hundred per cent, perhaps except listening.
So, I have been rather irritated when she sat on the grass, ostentatiously sulking because I had not compliment her own work. Hayley, of course, wasn’t helping. "Maria Isabel hasn’t done her homework but wants to be praised!". 
"I did but teacher doesn’t like me !" She moaned. 
"Maria Isabel should be in detention." I said calmly. 
"Por qué !? No !" She shot me an offended look and grumpily crossed her arms on her chest. 
"Porque no escuchas nada and teacher is fed up." I was clearly enjoying myself at teasing Misa with the most calm. 
"You don’t like my style, that’s all." She laid on her back, arms still crossed. Hayley walked over her, bent and angled the camera into her face and started taking pictures of the moody girl. "It’s because you don’t have one sweetie" She said. Misa opened her mouth wide, outraged. She rolled over on her belly, hiding her face from Hayley unceasing photoshoot. "Come on Misa! I’m sure you can do better, you’re not even trying!" 
"I may have one last idea to help Misa get it…"Both head turned to me." There is a photo exhibit at Matadero Art Center just now. Maybe we should give it a try. And Misa will find what she likes." 
"That would be great !" Said Hayley. She had stopped taking pictures and was now sat besides the goalkeeper. Misa moved to the side. "I already know what I like" she said frowning. We stared at her, eyebrows raised. "All right, we’ll go to your museo…". She sat up still pouting. "But before…" She stood up and reached out to me with an incredible speed. She easily heaved me in her arms and had me laying on my back before I got to know what was happening. "Misaaaa what the fuck ?!"
Misa, on all four over me, smirked and pined me to the ground with her strong hands. "Let’s switch roles ! Hayley come over and take some silly photos of Nicky for a change !" I was laughing hard and… getting aroused by Misa topping me. Her firms grasp and her weight were burying my hands into the grass. A naughty smile appeared on her beautiful face. "Let me go !" I shouted. I was breathing hard from struggle against her and from growing frankly excited. Hayley clicked madly on the camera trigger. She couldn’t see Misa’s penetrating gaze. Was it me or was she breathing harder too while keeping me lying down didn’t seem to cost her in the slightest? I closed my eyelid, too aware of the lens focused on me to look Misa in the eyes. Too turned on by everything that was going on… appart from the oppressing clicking noise and Hayley’s presence. 
"I think we’re good and that it will be ugly, I promise" I heard Hayley. I felt the pression of Misa’s hands disappeared. I opened my eyes to find Misa had straighten up. Her legs on each side of my waist, she was peering down at me intensely. "I think you deserved that" she said, satisfied. 
"I don’t think I deserved that much" I responded, catching my breath. 
"You two, go get a room it’s becoming embarrassing ! Cuidad is closing, we have to leave". I had almost forgotten Hayley. Her voice was taking me back to reality. We both smiled nervously. 
Misa got up, held out her hands to help me standing. As I took them she pulled me a bit too strongly, I lost balance and landed against her. My mouth touched the base of her neck only a second. She smelled a mix of sweat and perfume. She steadied me in her arms an instant. "I just saved the teacher, does it mean I’m no longer in detention ?" She released me. She hadn’t lost her smirk. 
I composed myself again and took my authoritarian tone at once. "You are grounded for a month, both of you ! And in detention at the museum without question!"  
Tumblr media
***
I have called Angela on the evening. I have felt the urged to talk. Not especially about me. I just wanted to feel the connection with my best mate again but surely the conversation topic went on my new footballer friends. 
"… and you’ve given them photo lessons almost every day ? Wow, Nicky I didn’t know you had that kind of patience !" 
"How you would you know Angela, Madrid is changing me. I am a much more sensible and patiente personne." 
"Still hard to believe… Anyway, I’m glad you hang with them. I like this Hayley, fuck the clause I would have seen you getting together. She has a sensitive fiber like you and seems fun !"
"humm, no Hayley’s a friend." I was laying down in my bed, calling Angela for at least an hour and a half now. I pictured Hayley in my mind. In derry, she was the total package and the two of us were really getting along well. But as pretty as she was, I wasn’t attracted by her. I was, despite all my efforts, always caught up with my attraction to Misa. Her poor photographer skills and moody behavior were so endearing to me and I felt more and more charmed by the goalkeeper’s whole personality. 
"Nicky are you there ?" I didn’t realized I had stopped listening. 
"Sorry ? What ?" 
"I was saying I admire you, just being friend with such hotties ! I couldn’t !
"Yeah, incredible right ?! I closed my eyes, I was sure Angela had heard the nervousness of my tone.  
"Oh no Nicky !? Which one ?!" I was smiling. It felt good she knew me so well.
"You won’t believe me…" 
"Spit it out !"
"It’s Misa…" I was gazing at the celling, my absent smile widened as I spoke her name. 
"Misa?? But she seems… I mean you don’t seem to have a lot in common."
"I know, anyway I shouldn’t even think about it…"
"But you do… ?" 
I heavily sighed. Misa’s smirking face appeared in front of my eyes. "Yes… but I also think about the clause, the fact that I’m bound to it, that my working visa depends on this job that I love, and so is my lease…"
"Ok ok Nicky it’s alright, calm down. You’re finding a girl cute, what a big deal? You’re at least allowed that ! You are not doing anything wrong, you’re not doing anything at all, relax !" 
"You’re right" As usual, Angela had found the words to reassure me."But still, fucking clause !" I sweared. 
"Fucking clause…" echoed Angela. 
***
I received a message from Hayley on the morning before the exhibition visit. 
My family are paying me a surprise visit just now. They came from Sidney I had no idea !!! This is crazy sorry for the museum I really wanted to go but I’ll spend the day with them. Im so happy 
I answered it was ok and to enjoy her family time. Then I texted Misa. 
"Hayley’s family’s just showed up and she can’t come. Do you still wanna go ?"
Misa’s text bubble appeared and disappeared a few times leaving me wondering what answer I was wishing for. 
"Do I have the choice ? I thought it was my punishment…" 
I grined, loving her playful side. Or was she … flirting ? 
"You’re right but teacher would rather you go to your detention willingly." 
"huh teacher wants a lot. What else teacher wants from me ?" 
I gasped. She was flirting ! My mind ran wild, imagining the numerous things I craved from Misa. I breathed out deeply, tried to focus again as I pictured myself fiery kissing her. I had to take control of my brain again. I had to bury the surging wave of desire I felt at the simple idea of Misa wishing to give me what I wanted. 
"Teacher wants you to have a good time" was the most diplomatic and sober answer I could come up to. I quickly added "See you then" to put a stop to that dangerous conversation. 
"I’d say let’s see what’s going to happen. See you Nicky"
Wow, she was going for real ! How the hell was I going to survive the afternoon ?! 
***
Tumblr media
I was gulping down hard when I joined Misa at the entrance of Matadero Arts Center of Madrid. I felt so tensed when we hugged but Misa appeared to be her usual self. Once again, she gave no sign that something was going on between us and once again I wondered if I hadn’t misjudged her intentions. 
We headed inside. The center was formed by many huge bricked houses which happened to be old slaughterhouses. None of the previous gloomy functions of the place has remained, it was now very pleasant to walk in the large aisles between the red buildings. In the middle of the afternoon, the sun was knocking hard on our heads. Misa was looking all around us, her hand above her dazzled eyes. "It’s a shame I’ve never been there before, living all these years in Madrid" 
We reached the exhibition hall a few minutes later. I bought the tickets. Misa was following me closely. She clearly wasn’t in her element as we moved forward inside the vast hall. The exhibition was called "Deportes: fotografía en movimiento" and shown various approaches of taking picture of athletes. I was surprised to see Misa very focused. She looked at each photo, paused a long time when she seemed interested or intrigued by something. 
"Misa, look at this one" The framed picture was showing gymnasts doing incredible acrobatic tricks. "Look at the geometric composition, that's what I was trying to explain about framing." Misa shook her head with enthusiasm. "I think I get it now, yes. But I have found what I want to do." 
She took my hand and led me to a more hidden corner where another series of photos were displayed on the walls. "Wait, what ?" I let out. There were cats and dogs on every pictures, and even a baby pig. "They are the athlete’s pets" She said happily. She hasn’t let go of my hand. "I think I want to photograph animals, or nature." She came to face me with the cutest smile, and thought I had severe doubts this was going to help Misa progress technically, I replied "Yes! Ok! Let’s give a try on naturalistic photography!". 
She smiled more widely, her hand still in mine, and her fingers softly stroked my palm while she loosened her grip. I started to panic. Her lips has worn a more discreet smile as she was watching me unsurely. She took a step forward. I had to react quickly but I didn’t want her to feel rejected. 
"Come on, I’m taking you to the park along the river. There is plenty of birds and plants for you to shoot." I grasped her hand back to take us out of the hall and out of the prickly situation. 
Tumblr media
However, as we arrived at the park, I realized I had put myself in an even more perilous condition. The sun was setting. A light breeze was blowing in the trees. Birds were melodiously twitting nearby. An empty bench shield from the view was waiting for us at the end of a very lovely flowery path. I tried hard not to look at Misa. She was walking close to me, unusually quiet. I dared to take a look at her. She caught my side-eye and a shy smile appeared on her lips. What did I do? She was probably getting all wrong, imagining I had picked such a romantic place on purpose! 
We reached the oh so welcoming bench. None of us spoke as we sat. I starred at the distance. I was feeling my heart pounding hard in my chest. Misa was looking at her laps, timid all of a sudden. I had to say something. 
"You should try to shoot those flowers for a start" I tried as a diversion. "The red and bleu ones that look like the Barça kit. See, I’ve learnt about football." I added wanting to diminish the growing tension. "Oh no Barça please…" She rubbed a hand across her face. I had clearly said the wrong thing. 
"Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you" I put my hand on her shoulder. Her long hair was partially hiding her face. "Do… do you want to talk about it ?" I said hesitantly. She tensed. 
"You don’t know about the Clasico. We keep loosing against them every times and honestly, I’m used to it. It’s ok even though I’m doing my best but…" her voice trailed down as she took a deep breath. "Next Clasico is one week away and that’s the finale of the Copa de la Reina." She lifted her head to look me in the eyes. "I don’t know if I can take the pressure this time..." She was talking so openly to me. The fierce and funny goalkeeper was allowing her unsecured part to finally surface. And that was when I realized I cared for her. 
I took Misa into a hug. She sighed and buried her face in my neck. "You can do it Misa. I don’t know you for very long but I am certain that you can." She stayed there, her heavy breathing gently blowing my hair. "I really want to win!" She almost cried. "We keep doing better but we haven’t won any Spanish championship! Quiero ganar ostia!" She lifted her head again and I stopped hugging her. I was glad to see a frustrated grin back on her face. "You can do it! Hala Madrid! I feel part of the family now." I genuinely said to boost her up. She let out a soft laugh and ran her fingers through her hair. She took my hand again. "Gracias" she muttered. Her brown eyes found mine again. Her expression was so soft at this very moment. Her gaze went down to my mouth. I wanted to kiss her so bad. Her slightly parted lips quivered. My chest was about to explode as I was slowly moving my face closer to hers.
At that precise moment, a loud buzzing sound came from Misa s’pocket and had us both jump in fear. Misa straightened herself and took her phone out. I sled appart on the bench, breathing out a mix of relief and deep frustration. 
"Holà Jenni" Misa answered in a slightly irritated voice. "no, no conozco las noticias…" She rolled her eyes at me. I was too shaken to be amused by the situation. Misa and Jenni kept on talking on the phone. In fact, it was more like Misa was listening to an unstoppable Jenni. I wasn’t getting much of the quick flowing Spanish of Misa. Besides, I was once again buried deep in my thoughts. My heart and reason were battling heavily against each other. Misa was getting seriously annoyed the call wouldn’t finish. She was founding hard to even speak a world between the endless sentences of her best friend. She turned for me to read the word "Perdón!" on her lips several times as I scrolled mechanically on my phone. 
Minutes went by and night started to fall when Misa finally hung up. "I’m so sorry I should never have taken that call !" She sighted. I got up quickly "No prob. But it’s getting late, we should get going". Reason had won over heart for now. Or at least, chance had buy me time to really sort things out. Misa looked up at me, surprised. She hadn’t expected that. This time I didn’t dared to even take a glimpse at her. As I gave her no reaction, she let her head fall down in her hands. I heard her taking a deep breath before she finally stood up and started following me. 
Tumblr media
Lulled by the light swing of the train, a part of me had cooled down. An other part was going crazy for real. Misa was wanting me. A calm, almost pleasant panic have filled me entirely on the way home. 
43 notes · View notes
xoxoavenger · 2 days
Text
In a Frame on the Highest Shelf
pairing: Steve Harrington x SingleMom!Reader
summary: James is getting smarter and Steve and Y/N are getting more comfortable with each other
word count: 2557
warnings: some self deprecating thoughts but they are assuaged
notes: big thank you to @ilovegerardwayd34d for having the perfect idea for the next part
previous part series masterlist
birthday celebration main masterlist
Their relationship is interesting, to say the least, after the party.
They don't change their daily life, except now Steve sleeps in the bed with Y/N. She hadn't known that his back was hurting, had felt bad when he popped it the first night in bed with a deep sigh and mentioned how much more comfortable it was. She had begun to apologize, but he told her to stop talking and took her into his arms. They both slept better in the bed together, James in the crib next to them.
Y/N realizes she made the right decision when she wakes up in the middle of the night to Steve not in the bed, instead laying on the ground with an arm in James' crib. Y/N knows this well, that usually James can't go back to bed without some sort of physical contact, and usually takes James into her bed. She thinks maybe Steve was worried about co-sleeping, which is kind of endearing, and she grabs her camera as quietly as she can. The flash is bright, but Steve just takes a sharp breath and rolls a bit.
"Steve," Y/N whispers, putting the photo and the camera down. She reaches over to shake his shoulder, because she doesn't want his back hurting even more. "Come back to bed." She watches as he unravels himself from James, who squirms before going back to sleep. She watches him for a moment, makes sure everything's okay, and then helps Steve back up onto her bed - or their bed? Could she call it their bed now?
"James woke up." Steve mutters, and Y/N looks at the clock. It's early in the morning, but early enough to go back to sleep. The perfect time.
"You did great." Y/N told him, kissing his cheek before laying against his chest. It's her favorite pillow, and Steve doesn't mind because he likes her pillow more than the spare one.
"Mhm." He nods, pulling her closer and pressing his lips to her forehead in a loose version of a kiss.
This life is perfect.
Until it comes crashing down and suddenly Y/N is at her lowest, lower than when she first found out about being pregnant.
It starts with James crying, and Y/N realizes pretty quickly he has a fever. She calls out of work, not able to leave his side. Steve picks up on the house chores, which makes Y/N almost melt if she had the bandwidth to care about anything but her baby. He washes the dishes, takes out the trash, does the grocery shopping and makes food. She lets him feed her while she rocks James the few times he's actually asleep.
"Today is day three." Steve tells her, and she just nods. If she looked up, she'd notice he has dark circles under his eyes that almost match hers, but she is too busy watching the rise and fall of James' chest. His mouth is open, nose stuffed. 
She is terrified.
"I should take him to the hospital." She says, about to cry herself. She's so tired, and she would do anything to take this pain away from her baby. She doesn't understand what happened, because they hadn't been around anyone who was sick. She had always been so careful, never wanting to cause her baby harm. This had to be her fault. She must have missed something.  
"I can drive you. We can go now if you want." Steve offers, and nods, starting to stand. She'll go in these stained, old, gross clothes, and she hopes there's something quick that can be done to help James.
"Yeah, let's go," She stops talking because James is shaking in her arms, eyes rolled back. "Steve," She has no idea what do, and she knows Steve won't either but her mind can't think.
"Let's go to the hospital now, come on." Steve seems freaked out, scared like Y/N but able to keep himself calm.
"What's going on?" She starts crying, holding James as tight as possible. He stops shaking, but her heart doesn't calm down. She wants to throw up and scream and somehow trade places with James. She feels so helpless, holding her baby as he breathes deeply through his mouth.
"We're gonna be okay," Steve leads her out, both of them without shoes. Y/N doesn't even have socks, but she can't feel the dead grass under her feet, only her baby in her arms. Steve helps her into his car before he runs around to his side, sliding in and starting the car as quick as possible.
"I think he's okay now, I don't know what happened." Y/N can't tear her eyes away from James, who is crying now. She doesn't want to put him in his carseat, even as Steve speeds out of the trailer park and onto the road. He's safe in her arms.
Luckily, the hospital isn't that far, and they pull up in record time. Y/N hops out of the car, looking over at Steve.
"I'll go park the car. I'll find you. Go!" That's all she needs, shutting the door and running into the ER.
~
Y/N lays in the hospital bed, James laying next to her sleeping. They've given him medication, told Y/N the seizure was only because of his fever and that they'll give him medicine but he'll get better eventaully.
None of that made Y/N feel okay.
Steve sits in the chair in the corner of the room, arms crossed as he watched Y/N smooth James' hair. She felt guilty that he was here, for pulling him into this whole mess. She felt her throat begin to tighten.
"I'm sorry." She whispers, looking up and over at him. He furrows his brows as tears begin to fall down her cheeks. "You can go home if you want." She doesn't even know what her words are supposed to mean.
"Hey," He gets up off the chair and moves to the bed, resting his arms on it to be close to her. "It's okay. Everything is alright. James is okay, it was just a scare. We are okay." He grabs her hand, and it breaks her. She starts crying harder, and then Steve gets on the bed, holding her around James just like he did the night they first kissed. That night wasn't that long ago, but Y/N thinks it might as well have been years.
"This is all my fault." She says quietly, shaking as the sobs rack her body. "I'm a terrible mom and a terrible friend." She tells him, and she truly means it. What kind of mother lets her kid get this sick? 
"You're an amazing mother. The best I've ever seen. And a great friend. I'm not just saying that." Steve struggles to get out, not sure what to say. 
"But ever since I came into your life, all I've done is mess everything up." She whispers, sniffling and trying not to wake James up. "Your parents kicked you out, Steve. And I have a baby. You shouldn't have to take care of him when I can't." She cries softly. Her eyes are closed, and nothing happens for a moment.
Then Steve reaches out and wipes her tears.
His hands are soft against her cheeks, and she keeps her eyes closed so she doesn't ruin it. They breathe silently, and she sniffles back her tears until Steve has dried her face.
"I wanted to leave." He whispers, and she finally looks at him. His eyes look sad in a way she hasn't seen before, even though they've had the discussion of him leaving his parents house multiple times. "My dad was a terrible father. And my mom wasn't much better. Before recently I didn't understand how parents were supposed to be. But you've taught me what to do. I know today was scary. But you can't push me away now. I'm staying because I chose to, not because I don't have another option."
She wants to say she loves him, but it feels like it's too much, so she reaches over and kisses him, James in the middle, just like their first kiss. She thinks it may be her favorite way to kiss ever.
"When we get home, our home, I'll go get groceries and make dinner while you clean the house and James naps. We'll get our shit together." He rubs her back and kisses her forehead.
"Stit?" James grumbles, because of course he had woken up, and Y/N glares at Steve.
"I'll get ice cream on the way too."
~
"So, what are you doing for Steve's birthday?" Robin asks. It's been a couple weeks since James went to the hospital, and he's feeling much better now, so Y/N and Steve were both excited to finally see the rest of the group. The adults are all at Eddie's, the kids at Y/N's. The doors are open at both, and Y/N is standing on the porch watching to make sure James is alright even though Max assures Y/N she's watched babies younger than James.
Y/N told Max she's more worried about Dustin.
"Steve's birthday?" Y/N repeats, pulling her gin and tonic from her lips. She hadn't heard anything from Steve about his birthday, which made her realize she didn't know when Steve's birthday was.
Check in the bad girlfriend column. 
"Yeah?" Robin asks, sipping her drink with a smile. "It's next Monday. I thought you would have plans, since he hasn't told me any." Y/N's heart drops.
"Monday?" She whispers, turning to look at Steve. He's laughing with Eddie, beers in their hands. Y/N feels the need to smoke a cigarette.
"Did Steve not tell you his birthday?" Robin asks, and Y/N shakes her head, walking inside. Robin calls after her, but she pretends like she doesn't hear, downing her drink and setting the cup down on a table. She knows where Eddie keeps her cigarettes, so she walks past everyone and into the kitchen, grabbing a cigarette and walking out to the small porch.
Steve didn't tell her his birthday.
Why didn't he tell her? They've had a busy month, sure,  but his birthday is important. Not everything can be about her all the time. She feels like shit.
"What's goin' on?" Steve is suddenly behind her, hand on her back as he stands close to her. She looks over at him sadly, handing him the cigarette. Every time she's had one, she shares it with him when he's around. She lets him take a long drag, and then she turns to him. She feels his hand move from her beck to her hip, and she tries not to let it distract her.
"Why didn't you tell me your birthday is in a couple days?" She asks, not breaking eye contact. To his credit, Steve doesn't try and act like he doesn't know what she's talking about. He doesn't look around and try to figure out an excuse. He keeps staring, even as he sighs. 
"James was in the hospital a couple weeks ago and we just got back to normal. I didn't want to stress you out and I knew you would want to do something." He tells her, taking another drag from the cigarette.
"Because I care." She whispers, putting a hand on her on his chest. "We're all okay now, we can celebrate your birthday." She puts the other hand on his face, rubbing her thumb across his face.
"We don't have to." He tells her, putting the cigarette out and letting his other hand fall to her waist.
"Steve, come on. It's your birthday." She's sure his parents always belittled his birthday, so she wants to make sure he has an actual birthday party. "Tell me what you wanna do, and I'll take care of it." She leans against him, trying to get him to agree, but he shakes his head.
"I just want-" He doesn't tell her what he wants, because all the sudden the kids are all screaming. Y/N and Steve only make it half way across the grass when Dustin appears, holding two pictures in one hand and James in the other arm. Max and Lucas pop up on the other side, and they all clamber out of the trailer.
"What happened?" Y/N asks as she meets them, taking James into her own arms. Dustin lets her, but his face has a wide smile that matches the other kids, all of which who have started piling out. James seems to be fine, happy even with all the yelling.
"Watch this!" Lucas yells. Y/N expects James to startle, but he must be used to the noise because he squeals.
"We were trying to teach James our names, and then we were quizzing him on yours," Max starts, pointing at the pictures. The first is Y/N in the hospital with James right after she gave birth. A nurse had taken the picture, and it was the only one she had with both of them for months. She smiles at the picture. "Who's that?" Max points at Y/N, and James kicks his legs into Y/N.
"Mama!" He squeals, and Y/N kisses his forehead. He's been saying 'mama' for months, but it's still cute.
"Who's this, James?" Dustin asks as he moves the pictures to reveal the first picture of James and Steve; the one of James on Steve's chest. James looks so young Y/N wants to cry, even though it was just a couple months ago. She's studying the picture so closely she doesn't realize what James says.
"Dada!"
Everyone is quiet, heads snapping to Steve. Y/N's jaw drops as James continues to babble "dadada" and then wiggles to get out of her arms. She lets him down to the ground, her mind racing. Of course Steve being in James' life would be amazing, but she hasn't talked to Steve about this. They've been so busy, she's honestly forgotten about it. She watches as James toddles over to Steve, grabbing the leg of his pants.
"Dada?" He asks, and it breaks Y/N's heart. She can't ask Steve for this. She knows he said he chose this, but he can't say that he honestly chose an entire lifetime. She wants to know how James knew what that means, but clearly her son knows who it should be associated with.
"Steve," She starts, not sure if she should pick up James or not. She watches as Steve reaches down and grabs James up, turning so his back is to the kids and James can see them all. He's facing Y/N as the kids start to scream in happiness. Y/N watches as Steve clutches James, tears starting to leak from his eyes. She can see how much this means to him, and she doesn't want to take this moment from him. But he reaches a hand out blindly for her and she doesn't waste a second taking it. He pulls her in tightly, James in between them, just like it always is.
"I love you." She tells him, looking at him. She watches him blink some tears away, then kiss her softly.
"I love you both." He whispers, hanging on even tighter. She slots her head into his neck and keeps her arms around him. "So much."
Someone takes a picture, and Y/N knows it's going to be in a frame on the highest shelf for the rest of her life.
//
tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler @sadbitchfangirl @gloryekaterina  @alexshaff2002 @m-rae23 @icequeen1371 @mcueveryday  @parkershoco @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps @peculiarwren @kenzi-woycehoski @multifandom-boss-bitch @freezaz123 @mads-weasley @johnricharddeacy @sweetdreamsshifter @param8re @ashlynhasmanyhyperfixations @wish-upon-a-star-1310 @fangisms @alicetweven @damon-loves-pie @gaysludge @l0v3e1i  @luvrsbian  @zulpix-blog @scarletwitchwhore @taylortheyellowlobster  @ash5monster01 @nix-rose @param8re @loving-and-dreaming
42 notes · View notes
howlingday · 2 days
Note
It's kind of depressing when you realize out of Team RWBY, Weiss is the only one who get's constant development. Ruby doesn't get any character development until maybe Vol 4, and it was still sporadic at best. Yang and Blake got some good development up until Vol 7 where it feels like if it didn't involve Bumblee, then they didn't get anything (And in some cases you could argue going backwards...). So, this might be my bias talking (Weiss is best girl), but Weiss is the only one on that team to me that got anything in a constant enough rate. Only time I think she didn't develop was in Vol 9, but that was Ruby's time to shine so I'm not really upset with that one.
Yeah, when you think about it, there really wasn't much character development for any of the supposed "main characters" of the series, especially since they're also the titular characters.
Ruby's character development was like a David Cage game of Beyond: Two Souls, showing us Ruby's highs, lows, lows, lows, and LOWS of her character development, all before circling back to a HIGH just in time for her series to get canned. It's a sad sight.
Blake's character was centralized on the White Fang. She was in the White Fang until she left, then she finds out the White Fang are up to something in Vale to the point that it exhausts her, then she helps stop the White Fang in Vale and Mountain Glenn, then Yang was framed, and Blake thinks she's becoming Adam again, then the White Fang attack Beacon and Adam cripples Yang so she runs away to Menagerie to protect Yang and everyone she knows and learns the White Fang are up to something in Menagerie until she breaks everything up in Haven. Things go right for Blake overall until Adam shows back up and she and Yang murder him with no consequences. It is from this point that Blake's character arc with the White Fang ends and her entire character now becomes Yang's girlfriend. I've said it before and I'll say it again; Blake is the worst girl of Team RWBY.
Yang's character trait is that she has no character trait. None that's ever properly established. She's Ruby's sister and/or mother figure, but hardly interacts with her. She likes to party and get into fights, but we don't see her do either. Her mom is a bandit, but we don't know if Raven really loves Yang or not. She lost her arm to Adam, but she didn't really learn anything from that whole experience; again, nothing that we can see. And now Yang's character is Blake's girlfriend. I put Yang higher than Blake only because what story COULD be told isn't just the same story over and over.
So, now that I've gone over some issues of the others, let's talk about Weiss' character arc. Weiss is physically scarred by a trial set by her father in order to get into Beacon, and once she arrives, she's an uptight spoiled brat who expects to be handed the position of Team Leader. After she's humbled by Professor Port, she steps up as Ruby's second-in-command. She's pursued romantically by Jaune, whom she rejects outright multiple times until Neptune shows up, whom she romantically pursues until he starts flirting with other girls in front of her, though Jaune helps Neptune ask her to dance, and from there she and Jaune are on better terms as friends (which can be seen in V3 when he calls Weiss after getting out of the locker Pyrrha shoved him in). During V3, she's approached by her sister and financially cut off by her father. After the Fall of Beacon, she's forced to return home and is basically put in a sort of Brittney Spears house arrest, where she's only allowed out by her father to do whatever he wants her to do (I think that's what happened, I'm not really aware of what exactly happened during the whole "conservative house-arrest" thing from a few years back), until she escapes and is then captured by Raven until she's rescued by Yang. They then go to Haven and reunite with Ruby and Team JNR, and once Blake comes back, Team RWBY is back in full swing!
Okay, I think that's enough to make the point, but I do want to bring up something that is going to piss people off, because of course it will. It's about Weiss' likely endgame ship, White Knight. I said before that RWBY doesn't know how to do romance, but... Looking at the character developments of both Jaune and Weiss and they just somehow start leaning closer and closer, contrary to how they started out. Like, I know I'm not the only one seeing two characters with full-developed characters starting to get closer, so how is it that BMBLB sucks so hard with their story if it's the canon flagship?
Don't believe me? Think about what I was talking about with these characters. Do you know what the biggest difference is between the stories of Weiss and Blake and Yang? The answer is that Weiss actually has a story. Blake and Yang just are just... two halves of one whole. Weiss is completely independent of Jaune, and yet they both managed to grow without each other. I'm no relationship expert, but if you're relying on another person to have a character arc, that's not a healthy relationship- That's codependency.
Oh, but what do I know? I'm just an idiot on the internet who makes incorrect quote posts. My opinion is invalid and should be tossed out and disregarded. Tata~!
34 notes · View notes
vintagenahbi · 24 hours
Text
HOME pt.1
Jin x Reader
Summary: You and Jin discover that you are expecting your first child, but are faced with challenges that neither of you could imagine.
Warnings: topics related to pregnancy that could be considered controversial.
Tumblr media
Jin and the guys were about to start shooting In the Soop when I got the news I would be allowed on set with them. I had been dating Jin for two years now, but never got the chance to see him in his work element. I was so busy with work myself that I rarely had the time to visit him or even know what all went on behind the scenes.
Unfortunately, I had been sick for the past two weeks and Jin did not feel comfortable leaving me home alone. Since I had moved to South Korea alone, I didn’t have anyone to care for me, leaving the only option of going on set. It was entirely Jin’s idea to have me near him in case my sickness worsened.
When we arrived, everything was going smoothly for me. I made it to my room which was separate from the main house so I wouldn’t be seen by any of the cameras. I had my own space that Jin could come see me anytime, not to mention the beautiful view outside my window. Although I felt a little isolated I didn’t mind. It was peaceful being in nature, not having to work and only focusing on getting better. Plus I got to spend some time with Jin.
I put on my lounge wear and got into bed immediately after unpacking. I had been exhausted, I had flu symptoms that were out of this world. Some days all I could do was stay hunched over the toilet for hours at a time. After a while it started to take a toll on my body causing me to be tired all the time. I knew once my head hit my pillow I was going to be out like a light.
I heard a soft knock at my door. I sat up to see Jin’s head peaking through. I smiled as he walked his way over to me. He sat on the bed with his long slender frame. He looked at me with his stare lingering down to my lips. I quickly pressed my lips against his causing him to blush. He pulled me in for a hug, pushing me down back on the bed attacking me with kisses. I started to giggle.
“I’m so glad you’re here with me. I wish you felt a little better though.” I wrapped my arms around his neck. As I was about to kiss him, I felt the sudden urge to throw up. I moved him away, rushing into the bathroom. I lifted the toilet seat up and all the contents from my stomach came rushing out. Jin stood behind me rubbing my back. I tried to apologize but I was too sick to even speak.
I heard Jin sigh. Being this sick was almost unbearable. I had never felt this bad in my life. I wanted to cry and apologize, but nothing ever came out.
We heard someone yell out Jin’s name to signal him to come back for a side interview. He rubbed my back one more time kissing my forehead. He left the bathroom. I curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor simply because I was too weak to get up. I started to cry because having no control over my body for two weeks was causing me to suffer. Then it suddenly dawned on me. The light bulb went off and I gathered the strength to figure out what was behind this sudden illness.
I sat on the bed holding the slender object in my hand. Hours had passed and I had not seen Jin since earlier. I heard on a knock on the door and it was Jin. I hide the object in my hoodie pocket. I grabbed his hand and walked him over to the bathroom again. I turned off his mic as if I was a secret informant who couldn’t have this conversation get to anyone else.
I took the object out my pocket and handed it to Jin. He looked at it. I watched his expression closely. Nothing changed. Absolutely no reaction. He handed it back to me.
“Jin say something.” He ran his hand through his hair.
“We can’t.” Those words cut me like a knife. “We can’t have a kid right now. The timing is not good.” I looked at him shocked. His facial expression shifted from panic to a realization of what he had said. “I didn’t mean that.”
“So I’m gonna have to raise this baby alone? Like you said it’s not a good time for you.” I shoved him away. He grabbed my arm and wrapped his arms around me. I cried against his shoulder. He held me close almost as if it were for dear life. I could feel his breathing quicken and his heart was pounding.
Jin pulled me away and rubbed his thumb against my cheek. I cleaned my nose with the sleeve of my hoodie. He lifted my chin to look up at him. I could tell he was about to get serious. Before he could speak I cut him off.
“I want this baby.” He had no verbal response, he only pulled me back in for a long embrace.
“I want it too. I’m sorry I reacted that way, it’s just that it’s sudden. I thought I’d be married first. I thought you’d get to know my family better, not to mention I haven’t met yours yet. I thought it would be different.” I nodded my head in agreement. I thought it would be different as well, but these were the cards we were dealt. It was starting to make sense. All the sickness, me barely being able to stay awake during work, constantly bloated.
He grabbed my hand and took me over to the bed. We laid down and cuddled for a while. The entire time he kept his hand on my stomach, nearly imagining what was about to be. Jin checked his phone and saw that he had 5 missed messages telling him to come back to the main house. He left again and I was stuck there to face the reality alone. My mind excited, my body weak.
The next day I managed to go unseen. I got a ride to the doctors so that Jin and I could confirm if I was really pregnant. The doctor gave me the news I was already expecting. I was 9 weeks pregnant, however I was blindsided when I immediately found out this pregnancy could cost me mine and the baby’s life. I sat on that doctor’s chair frozen. The drive back I felt absolutely numb.
I got back into my room and crawled into bed. The room was spinning and everything felt like it was a dream. Jin walked in without knocking this time to make sure I was okay.
“What did the doctor say?” Jin said inquisitively.
“He said that it’s a high risk pregnancy. I could have this baby but there is a-“ I paused for a moment to clear the lump out of my throat. “There is a chance that I and/or the baby might die.” The last word nearly took Jin’s breath away. He sat on the bed immediately taking in the news he just heard. “Before you say anything, I still think we should keep this baby.” He looked at me with a stern face. He rubbed his tongue on his inner cheek to contain what I assumed was anger.
“No.”
“Jin, I want this baby.”
“No Y/N, our story isn’t going to end with me losing you. You can’t. I don’t want you to. I can’t lose the thing that jolted me back to reality. I’m not losing you.” I started to get teary eyed. I understood his pain. Although it had been two years of dating, I had found my best friend. Now there was a chance that that would be taken from the both of us or we would have to grieve the pain of losing a baby.
“Jin.” I whispered. He looked at me with tears flowing down his cheek. The door suddenly opened and we both looked. It was a PA telling Jin to go back again. He collected himself and stood up. Before he left the room he turned back to look at me.
“I can’t lose you Y/N.”
31 notes · View notes
e-dubbc11 · 2 days
Text
Son of the Sea
Tumblr media
Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.
Pairing: Tattoo Artist Billy Russo x F! Reader
Warnings: Fluff, few swear words (courtesy of Little Raven and her godfather🤣), pregnancy, morning sickness, little distress but it all turns out alright.
Word Count: Around 5K-ish
Summary: Part of The Sweetest Pain Series This little family of three is getting a new addition and Little Raven is very excited for his arrival
A/N: I never thought this little series would turn into what it has become and I’m so happy everyone that has followed along from the beginning continues to follow and watch this family grow. Thank you!
As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕
The familiar wave of nausea washed over you as you stood at the stove trying to cook dinner without running to the bathroom. You learned quickly when you were pregnant with Little Raven that morning sickness didn’t always strike in the morning and that it basically showed its ugly face whenever it wanted to.
There were only a couple of scents that triggered your morning sickness and continued to bother you even after you had given birth. You had a favorite perfume that you wore every day before you got pregnant with Anna and now you couldn’t stand the smell of it on anyone and had to get rid of the nearly full bottle Billy had given you as a gift because it made you sick to your stomach.
The aroma of any meat cooking was what was bothering you at the moment but you weren’t positive you were pregnant yet. It was a very high possibility though. Just a handful of weeks ago, you and Billy had a wild romp in his tattoo chair.
He had even made mention of another baby after your intimate moment but you had put it out of your mind until right now as you pushed the ground beef around in the pan, trying to keep your stomach from retching.
“Maybe I am pregnant….” You thought to yourself before moving the pan to a cold burner, dropping the spatula, covering your mouth and running for the bathroom.
Billy and Little Raven were quietly drawing at the dining room table as you raced past them, into the bathroom, and slammed the door shut behind you. The porcelain cooled the inside of your wrists which brought your body temperature down a little. Even after everything was out, you continued to dry heave and that’s when you heard a slight knock on the door.
“You alright, sweet girl?” Billy asked softly against the door.
You couldn’t answer him right away as your stomach continued to do somersaults.
“Baby? I’m comin’ in ok?” He said in his familiar gentle tone.
Slowly, he opened the door and found you sitting on the bathroom floor with your back against the bathtub and one hand covering your eyes in embarrassment.
Without looking at him, you replied, “You shouldn’t have to see me like this.”
“Oh I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you worse than this, my love. Remember your last birthday before you got pregnant with the little miss? At one point, I had to make sure you were still alive.” He flashed his million-dollar smile at you. “I’ve also watched a baby come out of you too soooooo…” Said Billy, leaning up against the door frame with his arms folded across his chest.
“That was a good birthday though.” You said, returning a gentle smile. “Riiiiiight up until I had that last shot of tequila.”
The two of you started to laugh.
Billy planted himself across from you on the floor, his long legs extended and feet resting at the sides of your hips with his knees bent. He took your hand in his and gently pulled you away from the bathtub so you were sitting upright and he swept a stray hair out of your eyes. His smile made you weak in the knees every time so you were happy you were already sitting down.
“Do you think maybe you’re…?” Billy asked, glancing at your stomach then back up to meet your gaze.
“It’s very possible, my love.” You replied, the corners of your mouth curled into a slight smile.
Just as you said that, you heard little feet running down the hallway.
“Well, we know she’s never gonna sneak up on anyone.” Billy said with a wide smile.
You started to laugh when you saw her little face in the doorway.
“Mommy, ok?” She asked. Her carbon colored eyes that were just like her fathers were full of concern.
“Awww, of course baby. Mommy’s ok.” You replied.
Billy looked at Little Raven and said, “Mommy just has a bit of an upset tummy.”
Anna glanced at her father and then looked over at you, satisfied with that answer and said, “I go get you my dinosaur, ok?”
Then she took off again down the hallway, and back into the dining room. She carried that stuffed dinosaur Shortcake had given her everywhere she went, and held it extra close when she didn’t feel well.
Billy pulled you in close so he could wrap his long arms around you. He leaned in to give you a kiss but you held up your hand to stop him.
“Uh, you might wanna hold off on that, lieutenant.” You said, covering your mouth.
With a wide smile, he kissed your forehead instead. “I’ll go finish dinner, sweet girl. You sure you’re ok?” He asked.
You nodded. “I’m ok, handsome. I’ll take a test in the morning.”
When you were pregnant with Anna, the perfume was really the only scent that triggered your morning sickness. Every other time, it just came out of nowhere but it was different this time. You noticed there were a few scents that bothered you aside from the meat.
Eggs, onions, and trash were bothering you a lot in the past week. Billy was constantly taking out the kitchen trash because you couldn’t stand the smell of it so even though you hadn’t taken a pregnancy test yet, you had a strong feeling of what it would say.
You heard little feet run down the hallway again followed by a little voice.
“Here, Mommy! My dinosaur make you feel better.” Said Anna, handing you her stuffed toy.
A loving smile stretched across your lips as your sweet little girl gave you her favorite stuffed animal to help you feel better.
You replied, softly, “Thank you, baby girl. I feel better already.”
**********
The Next Morning
You opened your eyes slowly, allowing them to adjust to the early morning sun spilling in through your bedroom window. The space next to you, Billy’s space, was empty and cold. He was probably sitting in the kitchen, drinking his coffee like he did every morning. Lately, you had been feeling more tired than usual so you didn’t feel him get out of bed.
You were ready to head to the kitchen to see him when you remembered there was an important test you had to take this morning. Digging through the cabinet under the sink, you found the box of pregnancy tests, took a deep breath, and opened the package.
The edge of the tub felt cool through your thin pajama pants as you sat there waiting for the timer on your phone to ring. The flashback of waiting to find out if you were pregnant the first time played in your head.
You remembered how nervous you were at the thought of becoming a mom, how scared you were to tell Billy the two of you were going to be parents and it was probably the most terrifying but exciting news you had ever received.
After what felt like hours, the timer on your phone went off. Timidly, you stood up and craned your neck to see what the results were. Two blue lines…you were pregnant…again. A sense of warmth flushed across your cheeks as your lips curled into a smile.
The tears that stung the back of your eyes were almost like a reflex; you didn’t mean for it to happen but it did anyway. You and Billy were going to have another baby and Anna Raven was going to be a big sister.
But the smile quickly disappeared from your face when you felt the familiar turning of your stomach. It was a good thing that you were already in the bathroom.
As soon as you walked toward the kitchen, a familiar sight was in front of you. Your handsome husband sitting at the breakfast bar, with a cup of coffee in front of him, and a pencil in his hand.
Billy was always drawing something.
“What are ya workin’ on, handsome?” You asked in a cheery tone.
Billy replied, “Well g’mornin’, beautiful.” He quickly turned the paper over so you couldn’t see what was on it. “You’re not allowed to see that yet.”
Slightly disappointed, you said, “Oh I’m not, huh?”
Biting down on his lower lip, he shook his head and replied with a wink, “It’s a surprise, sweet girl.”
You had the pregnancy test hidden behind your back.
“Well…speaking of surprises but not really. Surprise!” You said, chuckling as you showed him the positive test.
“We’re gonna have another baby?” He asked, softly.
Pointing at the test, you replied, “Well, according to this we are. I’ll have to make an appointment to find out—“
Billy cut you off when his lips collided with yours as he cupped your cheeks, tongue gently pressed against your teeth wanting to tangle with yours. His hands dropped from your cheeks to your belly. Billy was always very gentle with you when you were pregnant with Little Raven.
No matter how many times you told him you weren’t going to break, he was always very careful. Gently touching your stomach, he looked down then back up to meet your gaze and your tattooed hand rested on top of his. A wide smile stretched from ear to ear on his face; he just looked so happy.
Snaking your arms around his neck, you pulled him in close to touch your forehead to his, and you lightly scratched his scalp with your fingernails.
“You ready for another little Russo…Dad?” You asked with a warm smile.
Billy leaned in and gently pressed his lips to yours.
“Even though we’ve done it before, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.” He said, as he glanced down at the floor. “But we’re doin’ ok so far with Little Raven, right? We can handle another one.”
Biting down on your lower lip, you nodded and replied, “I’m sure we can, baby. We’ll wait a little before we tell Anna and then we can tell everyone else too.”
**********
“What my shirt say, Mommy?” Asked Anna, looking and pointing at the shirt she was wearing.
Helping Anna put on her jacket, you replied, “It says, ‘I’m going to be a big sister: Fall 2024.’ Remember what Mommy and Daddy told you yesterday? Mommy has a baby in her belly so you’re going to have a little brother or sister.”
With pure innocence in her voice, she asked, “Do I get to pick? I wanna sister.”
Chuckling, you replied, “Afraid not, baby girl. We don’t get to pick.”
Scrunching her nose, she asked with slight disappointment in her voice, “Are you sure?”
“We get what we get, Anna. You ready to go see Uncle Frank and Auntie Maria?” You asked, zipping her jacket.
The three of you were getting ready to have dinner at Frank’s house along with Billy’s friends/employees from his tattoo studio. After seeing Little Raven’s t-shirt, they will know you’re pregnant and you couldn’t wait for everyone to find out your big news.
“I see Shortcake today, Daddy?” Asked Little Raven.
Billy smiled at his daughter.
“You sure do, little miss. You bringin’ your dinosaur?” He asked.
You answered for her.
“Oh she already packed it, baby. It’s all ready to go.”
You said with a wink and a smile.
**********
Frank cooked on the grill no matter what time of year it was. He’d stand out there with an umbrella or in snow boots if he needed to but it was a beautiful sunny day in April.
The late afternoon sun warmed your faces as you pulled up in front of the Castle’s home, Frank was already outside prepping the grill, and the excitement on Little Raven’s face when she saw her godfather made your heart swell. They loved each other so much.
After getting out of her car seat, Anna took off running toward Frank. Scooping her up, he tickled her stomach and playfully bit at her neck while she laughed uncontrollably. Frank was the only one outside at the moment, everyone else was in the house.
“Show Uncle Frankie your t-shirt, Little Miss.” Said Billy.
Anna had a problem undoing the zipper on her jacket.
“Help peeease, Uncle Frankie.” Anna begged.
Frank pulled the zipper down on Anna’s jacket, read the t-shirt, glanced at you and Billy then back to Anna with a sly grin stretched across his lips.
“You’re gonna be a big sister?!!” Frank asked.
Biting back a shy smile, Anna nodded.
“I wanna baby sister, Uncle Frankie.” She said.
Frank chuckled.
“Well, we don’t get to pick what we want, Little Raven. That’s not up to us.” He said. “Go show your Auntie, she’s gonna lose her shit, er, her mind.”
Anna knew “shit” was a bad word. She let out a devilish little laugh and replied, “Shit.”
It was only a matter of time before she’d pick up on the colorful words her Uncle uttered out loud.
“Anna Raven, you know that’s a bad word.” You said, biting back a laugh.
Frank opened the front door so Anna could go inside, then turned to you to offer his congratulations.
“Congratulations you two. Finally took enough ‘naps’ to get the job done, eh Bill?” He joked, pulling you in close to give you a hug.
“Something like that.” Said Billy, with a wide grin.
“We find out what we’re having in about three weeks.” You said.
You heard squeals and screeches coming from inside the house. It sounded like Maria and Shortcake got a good look at Anna’s t-shirt. Suddenly, the front door flew open and Shortcake was standing in the doorway.
“When are you due?!!!” She asked, her cheeks couldn’t contain her smile.
You returned the smile and replied, “Around Halloween.”
Shortcake turned and shouted back into the house.
“SHE’S DUE AROUND HALLOWEEN!!!” She yelled.
Faintly, you heard Maria shout back, “Tell her to come in here!!”
“Don’t keep that woman waiting, she’ll make ya pay for it.” Said Frank.
You felt a light smack on your ass as you walked past your husband and into the house. Billy winked when you glanced back at him over your shoulder. You could barely get inside the house before you were attacked with hugs, kisses on the cheeks, and glances at your belly. You had already started to show a little because it was your second baby.
Anna got hi-fives from Ed #1 and Ed #2. They told her she was going to be the best big sister and then she proceeded to try and extort snacks from both of them. They both knew Anna was going to be at the Castle’s today so they had stashed packages of goldfish crackers in their pockets. Her face lit up with a bright smile when she found the first package.
“Open peeeease.” She said to Ed #1.
She was smart and waited until after he opened her snack to pull on his dreadlocks. She thought it was the funniest thing but he didn’t seem to mind at all. He laughed right along with her.
Dinner was great and even though Frank grilled all of the meat outside, you still needed to run to the bathroom a few times after the smell of meat cooking floated past your nose.
Lisa and Junior played with Little Raven so you and Billy could have adult conversations with your friends. They were always so good with her and were excited there would be another Russo baby to play with.
You did express to the girls that you were worried about how Little Raven was going to react to a new baby because she won’t be the only child anymore. Maria told you to make sure to include her and each of you spend time with her alone without the baby so she doesn’t feel ignored.
Her mouth downturned a little when she talked about being alone, having two small children while Frank was deployed, and how hard it was to try and give Lisa her full attention when she needed a little extra “mommy” time while trying to take care of Junior at the same time.
Your hormones were all over the place so listening to her talk about it made you very emotional but very grateful that Billy was there so you could do it together.
Taking care of two children by herself, made Maria so strong in your eyes and you were thankful that you had someone you could go to for advice.
**********
Before you knew it, summer was over, you and Billy found out you were having a boy, and you were trying to get ready for Halloween and your new arrival. You were keeping his name a secret like you did for Anna.
It was quite a busy time and all things considered you were moving around pretty well for being nine months pregnant. Anna said she wanted to be Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty for Halloween which is a little fitting since she had a pet raven. She was very excited.
“Mommy, I wear my horns soon!?” Asked Anna, excitedly.
Easing yourself down onto the couch, you smiled warmly at her and replied, “Yes, you do Little Raven. Are you excited?!”
She clapped her hands together, jumped up and down, and she gave you the signature Russo Cheshire Cat smile when she replied, “YES!!”
You wanted a costume that would go with your pregnant belly so you went with Thing 1, the baby was Thing 2, and you were dressing Billy up as the Cat in the Hat which Anna was very excited about because it was her favorite book. She wanted you to read it to her every night before she went to sleep, sometimes more than once if she was trying to procrastinate going to bed.
Just in case your baby boy was born before Halloween, you had a skeleton onesie and a skull and crossbones beanie to go with it for him. Your due date was two days ago and Halloween is tomorrow so it was looking like your little man was going to miss Halloween.
Oh well.
You were becoming increasingly irritable, it was difficult to get comfortable enough to be able to sleep, and Billy felt bad that he couldn’t do anything to put you at ease. Trying all the tricks in the book to jumpstart your labor, you went for long walks, ate spicy food, sex…you tried them all but your little boy just didn’t want to come out yet.
They wouldn’t induce you unless you were a week overdue so you still had a handful of days left before they would. Your labor with Anna came so quickly so you thought it would be quick with this little guy too…you were wrong.
But it wasn’t all bad. You would get to dress up for Halloween (your favorite holiday) and take Little Raven trick or treating with the Castle children in their neighborhood, which may end up being your neighborhood too.
Your soon-to-be family of four was going to need more room and Maria excitedly told you there was a house a couple of streets over that just went up for sale that would be “perfect” for you.
It was definitely something to think about but right now you were focusing on trying to convince baby boy Russo to come out.
“Front and center, soldier! Let me see it!” You called to Billy from the living room.
He replied from the bedroom, “I look ridiculous, baby! Frankie’s never gonna let me live this down!”
You replied, “Well you haven’t seen his costume yet, Billy. He may think twice about saying anything about yours.”
Billy walked out from around the corner in his Cat in the Hat costume and you had to bite back your laugh. The striped hat, the red tie, and the tail…Anna looked very pleased. She started to giggle and point at him.
“You the Cat in the Hat, Daddy!” She squealed.
Covering your mouth to stifle your laugh, Billy could see you were laughing and he narrowed his eyes at you before turning back to Anna.
“You like Daddy’s costume, baby girl?” He asked.
She nodded and replied, “Mommy’s Thing 1 and my baby brother is Thing 2!”
Billy laughed and said, “Well Daddy feels a little silly but Mommy looks adorable.”
He winked and smiled at you before leaning in close to whisper in your ear, “What three-year-old wants to be Maleficent for Halloween?”
“Our child.” You responded with a warm smile and a kiss on his cheek.
He kissed the tip of your nose and said, “Well, I love it. It’s very rock star of her.”
Anna Raven was ready to go trick or treating. She understood it a little more this year so she was really excited to go with Lisa and Junior. She wore a long black robe, Billy fashioned her horns out of moldable foam and electrical tape, she carried a staff with a little stuffed raven attached to the top of it, and her face was painted green. Your little miss was the perfect little Maleficent.
“You ready to go, Little Raven?” You asked, wincing a little at what might be your first contraction.
“You alright, sweet girl?” Asked Billy, his voice full of concern.
“Let’s go, Mommy!” Anna yelled.
Nodding and grimacing at the same time, you replied, “Yeah handsome, I’m fine. The walk will be good. Let’s go.”
Billy opened the door, grabbed his keys and ushered the two of you out into the hallway before locking the door behind him and asking, “So, what’s Frankie’s costume?”
A devilish smile stretched across your lips as you answered, “Oh I don’t wanna spoil that surprise, you’ll see.”
**********
Billy had a hard time recovering after seeing Frank in his costume for the first time. The Castle family was dressed up like the cast from The Wizard of Oz. Lisa was Dorothy, Maria was the Scarecrow, Junior was the Tin Man and Frank was the Cowardly Lion. He didn’t look pleased at all which only made Billy laugh harder.
The picture you took of the two of them was priceless. They tried to look tough but at the end of the day they were both still dressed up as cats.
The tightening in your stomach became more painful and more frequent. You also had a lot of pain in your lower back, more so than you did with Little Raven which had you a little concerned but you really wanted to finish taking Anna trick or treating before possibly going to the hospital.
Anna had acquired quite the stash of candy before you couldn’t take it anymore. Billy had periodically asked how you were doing but you played down how much pain you were in. Finally, you came clean.
“Billy…I think I need to go to the hospital. These contractions hurt… a LOT.” You said in distress.
Billy was holding Anna in his arms when he replied, “Oh fuck, er, I mean…shit! Nope, that’s not right either.”
You tried to laugh but it was too painful.
He passed off Anna to Maria and Frank, then left to go get the car. They said they would take care of her and to let them know when the baby arrives, then they would visit. Luckily, your hospital bag was already in the car. Billy made sure you were ok before closing your car door and speeding away.
It was difficult to sit all the way down because it was so painful. At your last few doctor’s appointments, they said it was a little concerning that your baby boy hadn’t turned to be head down yet but that you shouldn’t worry, he should turn and it would be fine. They told you there were some things you could try to get him to turn on his own.
You were starting to think that maybe he hadn’t turned yet and that’s why you were in so much pain.
“We’re almost there, baby. It’s ok.” Billy said, nervously.
Billy was always calm and in control but this was the first time you had seen him look…scared. He had been told that attachments and showing emotions were a weakness so a lot of the time, he kept his feelings to himself, pushed way down inside so no one else could see. It was better since he became a husband and a father but old habits are hard to break. All of that went out the window when he saw how much pain you were in.
When you arrived at the hospital, and after everyone you saw smiled at your Halloween costumes, your doctor told you that your baby boy was, in fact, breech which was why you were in so much pain. They were going to try and turn him but if they couldn’t, they would need to do a C-section.
Your doctor tried his best but couldn’t get the baby to turn so they prepped you for a C-section. Dressed in a sterile hospital gown and cap, Billy attempted to reassure you everything was going to be alright even though you could see in his deep brown eyes, he was still a little scared.
He couldn’t hide his emotions from you.
“It’s gonna be ok, sweet girl. They’re gonna get him out, alright?” He said from behind a face mask and stroked your forehead.
Billy could tell you were in a lot of pain because you never complained too much when you were in labor with Anna but she arrived quickly so you weren’t in pain for an extended period of time. Pretty soon, you didn’t feel any more pain and your baby boy was here.
After you were moved to a recovery room, tears stung the back of your eyes, and you gazed at your new son with relief that he was finally here and that he was alright.
“Oh Billy…he’s perfect.” You said, as a tear dropped onto his nose just like it did when you held Anna for the first time. “I love you.”
“I love you too, baby. Just a quick question…” He said.
Confused, you asked, “What is it, handsome?”
Lightly touching his son’s head, Billy asked, “Um, well, where’s his hair?”
You could tell your baby boy would also have dark hair like his father but unlike his sister who was born with a full head of hair, he didn’t have much to work with at the moment.
You tried to stop yourself from laughing because you didn’t want to pop a stitch but that was a hard one to bite back.
“I’m sure he’ll have plenty of it when more of it comes in but he is definitely your son, look how dark it is.” You said.
Being careful not to squish the baby, Billy leaned in and gently pressed his lips to yours. The hand with his marine corps tattoo on it gently cupped your cheek as he continued to kiss you. Billy smiled at you before leaning down to kiss his newborn son on the forehead.
“I’m gonna go call Frankie.” He said softly.
You smiled back and replied, “Don’t forget to call everyone else too, you know they’ll want to know too.”
Your little boy finished eating just as his first visitors arrived. Frank was carrying Anna who was all clean and in her pajamas. She looked very excited and a little nervous to meet her brother. The Castle family had changed out of their costumes too.
“I missed visiting Anna in the hospital because of that snow storm, I wasn’t gonna miss this little one’s first days too.” Said Maria.
“You ready to meet your baby brother, Little Raven?” You asked.
Chewing on her finger, she nodded and smiled.
Frank set her on the edge of the bed.
“Anna…this is your brother, Dylan. Dylan William Russo. Say ‘hi, Dylan.’” You said as tears welled up in your eyes again looking at the two of them together. They already looked like each other.
Anna was very gentle when she touched Dylan on his chubby little cheek and whispered, “Hi Dylan. Imma big sister.”
“You ARE a big sister, Anna.” Said Billy.
Carefully, Dylan was passed around so the Castle family could each hold him, even Lisa and Junior held him for a minute.
“Well, I know why you chose William but is there a reason behind Dylan?” Asked Maria.
You and Billy smiled at each other before you replied, “You all know how much I love the ocean and we all spent a lot of time at the beach this past summer. Well, this little guy was the most active when we were at the beach, kicking me, stretching, moving all around, especially when I was swimming. And the name Dylan actually means “son of the sea,” so he kind of chose his own name. It’s also no wonder he didn’t want to come out!” You said with a little laugh.
Everyone else chuckled a little too.
Frank looked at Anna and asked, “What do you think of your little brother, Anna? You wanna keep him?”
Anna looked up at her godfather with her ink like eyes, smiled and said, “I keep him, Uncle Frankie. He cute.”
Frank glanced at Billy before saying, “We’ll take her home with us so y/n can get some sleep, you too, you look like shit.”
Everyone heard Anna’s tiny voice repeat, “Shit.”
Frank tickled her neck and playfully scolded her.
“Hey, we told you that’s a bad word? Yeah?” Asked Frank.
Her devilish smile stretched across her lips again as Anna replied, “No, YOU say shit, Uncle Frankie.”
“Why does she only repeat it when I say it?” Frank asked with narrowed eyes and in a confused tone.
“Because she knows you’ll give her the reaction she wants.” Said Billy.
Everyone said their goodbyes to you, Billy, and baby Dylan. Frank scooped up Little Raven in his arms, she turned to wave to you and said, “Bye, bye Mommy, bye Daddy.”
The two of you waved back.
“Bye baby girl. You be good for your Auntie and Uncle, ok?” You said.
Frank paused in the doorway, Anna turned to look at her baby brother once more, she waved at him and said with a kind smile, “Bye, bye baby Dylan. I see you soon!”
Tag List: @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialend @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack @vaguekayla @qu1etwolf @danzer8705 @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf
Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @ittybxttykxttytxtty @imagine-a-fictional-boyfriend @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso
If you’d like to be added (or removed from) my tag list(s) for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but you didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again.
39 notes · View notes
bigtreefest · 8 hours
Text
Sick of It
Pairing: Boyfriend! Steve Rogers x Girlfriend! Reader one-shot
Tumblr media
Summary: Steve looks good in everything and you’re sick of it. That, among other things.
Word count: 1,784
Content/warnings: Crying, comfort, angry feelings, kissing, mentions of body image issues, swears, snacks, non-sexual semi-nudity
A/N: I wrote this a couple weeks ago while I was feeling like absolute crap. I was so stressed and just wanted someone to hold. I know too many people relate. I think Steve would’ve been such a sweetie for this kind of moment.
Comments, likes, reblogs, and asks are so appreciated. Thank you for reading!!
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
Main Masterlist
Tumblr media
“I’m so fucking done.”
You slammed the door to the pantry as Steve looked over his shoulder at you from his spot on the couch.
“Honey, what’s wrong?” His words trailed down to you as stomped down the hall and slammed the door to his room.
Steve sighed and tossed the blanket off his lap, softly padding after you down the corridor. He leaned against the doorframe before lightly knocking with the knuckle of his pointer finger.
“Hey, you alright?” He faintly heard the sliding of his dresser drawers, frantically paired with the sound of clanging hangers in his closet.
Steve opened the door slowly to be met with the sight of you half naked, hoodie stretched over your one arm and head, only accompanied on your body by your socks and underwear.
You grumbled and sighed before pulling the hoodie fully down over your body, looking in the mirror before ripping it off and throwing it at him. Steve didn’t flinch, catching the beige hoodie he had been given in a stylist’s attempt to take him on as a client.
Steve had many pieces of clothing like that: obscure fashion pieces gifted to him because of his celebrity status. To a normal person, they were impractical and weird. Odd shapes for an odd body. They’d only look good on someone as hot as him, broad shoulders, skinny waist, and all. Any time you’d try to put on a piece of the clothing, you felt like it hugged your curves in all the wrong ways.
You sighed, but it was deep and guttural, bordering on a scream. The way every piece of clothing, which looks so trendy and stylish on Steve, draped over your hips in a weird way, drove you nuts. The colors didn’t look as good, the shape was meant for someone else.
You flopped down on the bed, still only in your underwear, as Steve grabbed a hanger, placing the hoodie on it and hanging it back in the closet.
He walked over to you, slotting his legs in between yours which swung off the bed. He leaned forward over you until his arms framed your head, one hand on each side, careful to miss your hair that was sprawled out over the comforter.
When you opened your eyes, you were greeted by a sea of blue. You wanted to melt instantly at the care and concern that Steve’s eyes held, before you remembered why you were so upset.
You rolled on your side with a groan, hiding your face in the plush covers before Steve did his best to brush the hair out of your way.
He continued to softly rub his thumb against your temple. “Jellybean, you wanna tell me what’s going on? What’s got you so upset?”
You sighed before speaking into the blanket covering your mouth. Even Steve’s super soldier hearing couldn’t decipher the muffled sounds.
“Can you try again for me? I didn’t quite catch that.”
You turned slightly and threw your hands over your face in exasperation before peeking through your fingers at the face full of love and kindness that was always waiting on the other side.
“I’m sick of it.” It came out still muffled by your palm, but understandable this time. Steve nodded in an attempt to understand.
“Sick of what, honey? Anything I can fix? Or at least help with?” He helped you up, sitting next to you on the mattress. He attempted to pull you into his lap before your stopped him, pushing his arms off of you.
“No! Stop it, you’re the problem.”
Steve was taken aback. He would never do anything to hurt you, not even accidentally, so he had no idea where this was coming from. He cautiously continued.
“I’m really sorry, bean. What did I do?”
You shook your head before it fell into your hands, tears threatening to dampen the heels of your palms while you sniffled,sucking your emotions back in. You took a deep breath before looking up at him with red eyes.
“You know what? Actually, nothing. I’m overreacting. Forget about it. Maybe I should just go.”
You stood up and began to gather your clothes from the floor when Steve stood to stop you, holding your hands against his chest.
“Wait, Jellybean, come on. If-“
You threw down your hands, releasing them from his grip as you continued to look down at your feet.
“Quit calling me that!! That’s the problem!! I’m not a jellybean!”
His head cocked to the side in confusion. “Honey, what do you mean? I thought you liked that nickname…”
You shook your head as Steve crouched down in an attempt to meet your gaze. “No, because a jellybean would fit in your clothes and look good. And I don’t at all right now.”
Steve cautiously moved a hand to your cheek, finally able to look into your eyes. “Hey, what happened? Did someone say something to you? Did I? If I did anything to make you feel like that, I’m so sorry. You’re so perfect in every single way, what’s making you feel differently?”
His other hand went to your other cheek and you grabbed his wrists, looking down again, kicking your feet. Your next words came out as a whisper. “Everything sucks. I’m exhausted, and my eyes keep twitching because of it. I couldn’t focus to save my life today. I thought coming over here would make me feel better, and I looked in your pantry to see if you had any of the good snacks and of course you don’t because you’re Mr. Healthy! None of your clothes fit or look good on me! I mean, why do your even own half this stuff!? So many pairs of fake glasses, your eyesight’s perfect-no. Better than perfect! You make stuff that’s not even fashionable or practical look good and I’m sick of it!” You were practically yelling now, your words growing in volume the more you kept going.
Steve simply nodded, letting you vent as much as you needed to and taking it all in. He knew he didn’t have good snacks, he had asked if you wanted him to pick up your favorites when grocery shopping last week and you said ‘no, that’s not necessary. I probably shouldn’t tempt myself anyways. I’m trying to be healthier.’ He should’ve gone with his gut. He wouldn’t blame that on you, though.
He knew his clothes were ridiculous, too, but he kept them around because he thought you liked them. And he loved the way they looked on you.
He also knew the game you liked to play of ‘is it a fit or are they just hot,’ looking at the ridiculous clothes designer brands would release and judging whether or not they were high fashion, or just on a person with a nice body. He had just never thought he would be the subject of it, or that it would bring you down this much.
Steve knew you hadn’t been sleeping well for the past month, too, but hadn’t said anything. He could feel the way you tossed and turned at 3am, before you finally fell asleep again an hour later, only to be woken up shortly after by the alarm clock.
You looked up again after Steve had been quiet for too long. You let out a deep sigh. “I’m sorry, Stevie. I think I’m just taking this all out on you because you’re here. Everything but you is wrong today, and I’m taking it out on the one thing that’s here.”
You shook your head, profusely apologizing before Steve pulled you in close against his chest. He kissed the top of your head as he rubbed your back.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Thank you for talking to me. I’m not the enemy here. I’m your teammate. Thank you for letting me in.”
“It just isn’t fair.” You spoke into his chest before looking up into his eyes again.
“Even when you’re concerned you’re still hot, too.” You rolled your eyes before throwing your forehead back in between his firm pecs.
“Steven. Fix it.” Came out mumbled in his shirt.
Steve laughed and nodded before kissing the top of your head again. “I think I have just the thing. Hold on.”
He meant that literally. Steve stood up fully and you wrapped your legs around him, clinging like a koala, as he walked back over to the closet. The fact that he did it so effortlessly made you feel a little better about yourself, but a super soldier could probably do that with anyone.
He browsed the rack and shelves before he found what he was looking for. “Ah, here it is. They let me keep these after I had to pose as part of a construction crew for a mission. Regular people clothes. None of that high fashion bullshit.”
You laughed against his neck before he set you down on the bed. He kissed the tip of your nose before sliding a dark gray sweatshirt over your head and sinking down to his knees to pull the light gray sweatpants up your legs. They fit just how your wanted and you beamed at him.
“Better?” You nodded.
“Perfect. Thank you, Stevie.”
He gave you a wink. “Of course, jellybean. I think these fit you just right, but maybe your outfit’s missing something. I might still have the reflective vest around here somewhere, or maybe you need a good pair of fake glasses to top it off?”
You giggled and pushed his shoulder. “Absolutely not. I think the only thing that could make this better is if you had real snacks in the pantry.”
Just then, the both of you heard a knock on the door. You perked up and looked over Steve’s shoulder before raising an eyebrow at him. Steve looked back at you sheepishly.
“I think your prayers have been answered. I texted Buck and asked him to pick up your favorites the second I heard you huffing while searching through the cabinets.”
You smiled before wrapping your arms around his neck and giving him a kiss on the cheek.
“Thank you. You’re perfect, even if it’s a little infuriating how much so.”
Steve laughed and wrapped his arms around you again, carrying you towards the front door to retrieve the package. “Perfection means nothing if I can’t use it to make your life better. I love you, Jellybean.”
You smiled as he set you down on the couch and handed you a bag of snacks before cuddling close and pulling the soft throw blanket back over the two of you. You placed your hand gently on his cheek. “I love you more, Stevie.”
Tumblr media
Bonus A/N: What’s your favorite snack/candy? I’m currently rocking with those nerds gummy clusters. So good.
General Taglist: @hawkeyes-queen
42 notes · View notes
temis-de-leon · 2 days
Text
Solomon x gn!reader in trad goth attire
Characters: Solomon, reader
Masterlist
Anon request: Hey again! ☆ can i request Solomon reacting to !gn reader dressing in traditional goth wardrobe for the first time?
Prompt can be changed to you liking and whether it's in the form of a fic, headcanons or shitpost is up to you ♡☆
.
A/N: I based MC's clothes and makeup on 80's trad goth fashion. MC is a lil' black sheep and Solomon (and me) are simping for them. This is set at the start of season 2 in the OG game. Hope you enjoy it!
.
Solomon didn’t really think about the way you looked. He’d seen Asmo make infinite assumptions about your appearance and he had to admit he put some input from time to time, but he didn’t really mind. He was content talking to and seeing your adorable miniature bovine body, black wool and all.
And it was that, the wool, what they should’ve taken into consideration when wondering about the real version of you.
There he stood, mere feet away from you, gawking as you talked on the phone; one of the brothers, perhaps? Your figure seemed impossibly tall, clashing against the crowd on your black attire: long leather coat almost touching the floor, a concoction of lace and velvet on your upper body and fishnets making your legs even lengthier.
He couldn’t stop staring; not even when the people around him looked at him in reprimand, surely taking him as a creep.
Then you blocked the phone and his plans of reinserting himself into your life as his usual mysterious self were forgotten. Rushing towards you, still transfixed by what he was seeing, Solomon called your name.
“Over here, MC!”
“Solomon?!”
He relished in your dumbfounded expression, giving himself the freedom to study you from up-close. Your face was as white as a sheet of paper and your eyes were framed by a complicated design of thick black lines. The hair on your head vaguely reminded him of the wool you had as a sheep, wild with no sense of direction, and he couldn’t help but smile at the comparison.
“You’re staring an awful lot and saying little to nothing”
Solomon chuckled, not embarrassed at all, and you smiled. The colour of your lips matched the makeup surrounding your gaze.
“I’m merely admiring you, MC. I never expected you to have this fashion style”
“And? Does my fashion style live to your expectations?”
He checked your lips again and didn’t bother to hide his interest when you bit your bottom one. Its contrast against the white of your teeth and the rest of your face didn’t let him stop staring.
Obsessing.
“I’d say it does more than that”
There was silence for a few seconds, other humans around you going through their lives without knowing what was happening between you two. Did you even know?
You finally laughed and lightly punched his arm, breaking the trance and leaving a certain tension behind. Solomon smiled in return and chose to leave the topic, at least for the time being.
“What are you doing here? It’s been so long!”
He sighed in a dramatic flair.
“Well, you know me… I’ve been occupied”
“And you show up now because…?”
You raised your eyebrows, making him laugh. He couldn’t distract you even if he tried, probably because he himself was distracted.
Your lips were so black.
“I was thinking…”
“You think too much”
“I was thinking. How do you feel about a brief visit to the Devildom?”
He enjoyed your immediate interest, back straightening as you got close to him in delight.
“What do you mean?”
“Surely you miss the brothers, right? And of course they miss you too, so, wouldn’t a quick trip be worth our while?
The mistrust in your eyes was quickly overpowered by your eagerness, the crosses in your earrings and your necklaces calling for his attention when they clanged like a wind chime.
“Perhaps you want to take those off”
“Oh, yeah”
Fingernails were black too, but your jewellery was entirely made of silver and stones, big and small, carefully placed in all your digits, your wrists and everything that allowed to wear something.
It became hypnotizing and he couldn’t avoid blushing in embarrassment when you finally snapped your fingers in his face while laughing in amusement.
Solomon couldn’t help but redirect his vision to your lips one last time.
How would he look with black lipstick?
Care to stick with him a little longer, MC?
.
.
38 notes · View notes
cosmic-crybaby · 1 day
Text
Break My Heart Again - Tommy Shelby x Reader
Part 5
Summary: After being childhood friends, you and Thomas made a promise one day to get married, but when he returned from France, he came back a completely different man.
Warnings: Angst with a happy ending.
Tumblr media
1934, soon after Tommy's' battle had ended. Three more Shelby's' dead, and one less evil he had to worry about right now. His second wife, Lizzy Stark, was nowhere to be seen and was never found. Neither was his son, Charles. After the alleged affair with Diana Mosley, she left Tommy behind. As he did with the rest of his family.
So, where was he now?
Ireland. Finding himself knocking at the door of the home he knew she resided in. The sun was barely breaking through the forever gloom of the grey clouds, he shoved his hands in his pockets as he turns around, looking at the green grassy hill, cattle grazing the lawns minding their own.
"Who are you?" The voice came from behind him. Tommy moved his body, eyes snapping down in front of him to see a young girl. Around the age of four or five, standing in the threshold of the doorway. Her head was slightly tilted, as she peered up at him with her big eyes. Tommy tried to find the words, as he was speechless. She looked almost identical to Charles.
"I...I am um..." He began to speak, but footsteps cut him off and made him look up again. The front door was pulled open.
And then she appeared. His last breath got caught in his throat when his eyes fell on her. She looked even more beautiful than the day he saw her. The day she left and the day he found her, all those months later. Seeing her up close again, made him feel like he was frozen. His mind was buzzing with a myriad of questions, apologies, excuses. She wore a house dress, her hair was pulled into a bun, pieces of hair framing her slim face.
"[Name]," Tommy said. His voice made her eyes quickly snap up from the young girl to him. She froze for a moment as she saw who was waiting for her. She never thought she would see THE Thomas Shelby...ever again. Everything else seemed to disappear when she locked eyes with him.
"Mummy...who is this?" The girl pulled on her mothers dress, breaking the silence.
[Name] managed to break her eyes away first to see her daughter, Maeve, looking between the two adults in confusion.
"Darling...this is an old friend...Tommy Shelby,"
Old Friend was an odd way to put it. Knowing they were nowhere near that title, it made Tommy chuckle a bit. But the label would do for now. The young girl nods once and smiled up at the tall man.
"It's nice to meet you, Mr. Shelby," Maeve spoke before turning to her mother.
"You as well, darling," Tommy managed a small smile. [Name] cleared her throat and kneeled down a bit to talk to Maeve.
"Maeve, can you be a big girl and go check on Cian for me? make sure he's still asleep," She suggested, knowing that she didn't want the children to be around while she talked with Tommy. The girl nods with determination, exiting the area and down the hall. [Name] takes a deep breath and moves away from the door.
"Come in,"
The inside of the Byrne estate was large, clean, and full of light. Nothing compared to what Tommy had at Arrow house, but it somehow had the same comfort. The two sat across from each other at the dining table. Tommy would tell it was well crafted and made from the hands of the Tall brunette man he saw before. Neither Tommy nor [name] knew what to say to each other. It felt like hours had passed as they were locked in each others gaze.
"You found me..." She stated.
"I did...I came looking for you, everywhere...Turing to every connection I had...I had to find you [name], " He answered her, not bothered how desperate he sounded.
Because deep down he knew he was.
"Why now?" She questioned. "After all these years,"
"I wanted to apologize, for everything I had done and put you through...I'm sorry for lying, for the things that I left out, for leaving you...everything. You deserved to know, more than anyone," Thomas answered, his words rang in your ears, holding as much sincerity as they can.
The woman across from him nods, her face didn't change as she stared at him. Her glaze bouncing from his eyes to his lips to the worn hands he placed on the table.
"I had wished you well and vouched to never lay my eyes on you again, yet here you are apologizing to me again...You sure made a name for yourself Tommy," She commented, a small smile forming on her face. She couldn't lie, she was proud of him. "It wasn't uncommon around here, my late husband would speak of it every now and then, I would have to pretend like I didn't know who you were,"
"Late husband?...my condolences,"
[Name] nods once and held her hand up for a moment to stop him from going on further.
"He passed just last year, consumption...Maeve was only four and Cian was barely a year," She informed him, a lump caught in her throat and a gloss in her eyes. A knowing look formed on Tommy's features, he would know all about loss.
Greta, Grace, John, Polly, and Ruby.
"Do you have anyone for yourself now?" She asked, changing her subject.
"I did...remember Lizzie Stark?"
[Name] nods, and refrained from rolling her eyes. After she had exposed Tommy for who he really was, she found out about his secret relationship with his assistant. Leaving her spiraling under the realization that again, he chose another woman that wasn't her.
"We got married and had a daughter, Ruby...she's gone now, also consumption, after everything had happened, Lizzie took Charles and left,"
Silence had fallen between them, but it wasn't daunting...it was comfortable. She didn't know what else to say...what else could she really say? She looked at the dining table, her nail slightly digging into its' surface while Thomas held his gaze on her for a moment, admiring her beauty and how, even now, she still looked as youthful as ever. He ultimately made the decision to break the silence between them.
"I don't want to waste any more of your time...Just know what I am still sorry," He said to her, shifting as he felt the heartbreak hit him and standing from the dining table. She said nothing as she heard his chair scrape against the floor, and his footsteps leading him to the foyer. An inch away from grabbing the door handle before he caught her voice calling for him.
"Tommy wait!"
He quickly turned around. Their hearts pounding as she stood in front of him. She looked like she wanted to spill something to him. Tell him everything that she had held away. Her eyes searched his until he asked a simple: 'what is it?' in a breathy tone. Her lips quivered as she tried to find the words. For once, she was speechless in front of him.
"Maeve...she's not..." [name] started. She took a deep breath and Thomas found himself holding her shaking hands in his. She swallows and nods once as he looks into her eyes. 'Breathe'.
"My husband, Andrew, he didn't know...For Christ sake I tried to keep it from him all these years and after he passed, I feel guilty even now...but, Maeve she's not his...she's yours Tommy," Tears pricked her eyes. Tommy stared with wide eyes. He couldn't question her, the time added up, he saw what her late husband looked like and he saw what her daughter looked like. He could recognize those ice-like eyes anywhere. Licking his dry lips, he sighs heavily.
"I know..." He mumbled. "I could see the Shelby resemblance in her when I saw her...I didn't want to believe it at first...but after looking at her again, I saw it,"
She wanted to call an objection to his words but decided to keep her mouth shut, knowing that the Shelby's liked to keep their pride.
Even if it was an exaggeration.
Silence fell between them once again. Tommy steps closer, grabbing one of [names] hands. His hands were ice hold and hers were warm like the flames that roared in the fireplace.
"I'd like to see you again, [Name]" He told her, a ghost of a smile forming on his lips.
"There is a lot of catching up that we need to do...," She looked down at their intertwined hands. Thomas reaches for the woman's other hand. His gaze softened as he drew in closer, her lids closed slowly as his cold, cracked lips connected with her soft and plump lips. Her heart ignited, that small flame that slowly gave out when her husband passed suddenly blew up. Except this time, it was a different type of love. This version of Thomas Shelby was...new.
The woman tried to keep calm as the gangster pulled away from the kiss, afraid he wouldn't be able to stop once he got started.
"Very well then," Giddy on the inside as she kept her smile small.
"I'll see you tomorrow," He told her calmly, one hand rubbing up and down her arm before he took his leave.
The days and weeks to come, Tommy got along well with Maeve. The more the two got along, the more [Name] saw the resemblance. Cian was more attached to his mother by the hip, usually shadowing her until he was familiar enough with Thomas's presence. With the two in bed together one night, [Name] lifts her head as she felt Thomas digging through his nightstand.
"What are you doing?" She asked curiously as she tried to look in the drawer as well. Thomas held the object in his hand, closing his hand into a fist as he laid back down and looked at his beautiful girl.
"I found this, a few months ago...before I came to see you," He started. "Everything else was destroyed, but I kept this because I knew I would find you again one day, and give it to you..."
"Come on, Tommy what is it?" She asked, sitting up on her knees, trying to reach for his hand. He pulled his hand away and gave her a look. 'Wait' It said.
"No matter what happened between us, I knew I would come back to you, even after all these years...all of this pain...it has always been you...I'm so sorry it took me all this time to realize it," He told her. He grabbed her hand with his free hand and slipped the gold ring on her finger. It still fight like a glove, maybe even more-so now. In awe, she watched as he slipped the ring on her finger. It was cold on her warm skin, causing goosebumps to form on her arms.
"Thomas...?" She gasped. Looking at him, then at the ring, then at him again as her eyes were wide, tears forming in her eyes.
"[Name]…will you do me the honor of marrying me?" He asked. It made her think back to their childhood and that promise they made for each other.
"Oh Thomas...yes," She nods happily. Not hesitating to jump into his arms and kiss him like there was no tomorrow.
"I've loved you from the start,"
---
[Tag List]
@mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @milljane @cyphah @diosa-ahre-blog @badlandsbrunette @adaydreamaway08 @namelessghoul0 @deltamoon666 @cherryslyce @calmingmelody96 @bruher @galactict3a @soulmates8 @angelofdarkness2468
30 notes · View notes