#but there is and i lack self discipline and hate having to *try* and make mistakes if i want to learn!!!!! i hate it i hate myself | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sn0wp1anets · 2 months

Text

my take on the black family

ok disclaimer this isn’t going to be super detailed with evidence and quotes from the books because a) i haven’t read them in a while b) all my energy is going into school rn BUT i try to adhere to canon as much as possible and reference it wherever possible

this will be split into these main parts:

abuse + dynamics

politics + ties with voldemort and DEs

wealth + status

CW: abuse mentions, general bigotry

ABUSE + DYNAMICS

THE ABUSE

imo right now most portrayals of the dynamics of the black family, especially surrounding sirius + regulus and later on draco a bit are really black-and-white, and lack the nuance that already exists in canon. there is a common trope of the black family, especially walburga black, being very physically abusive to the point of using unforgivables (the cruciatus most often, but i have seen imperius use too) on sirius and regulus- that there is no love between walburga+orion and their sons.

i disagree with this for several reasons:

a) characters, espcially in a dynamic that is clearly affected by generational trauma are complex and morally grey, and it is unrealistic that walburga weas simply a disney cartoon villain who just enjoyed inflicting torture on her children.

b) there is a quote by kreacher that says that walburga’s heart broke when sirius left- although it is more than likely that kreacher was exaggerating as he was very attached to walburga, it still makes sense that walburga loved sirius to some extent- he is her son.

c) it is canon that there is emotional + psychological abuse, and most instances of these abusive dynamics happening irl are the result of messed up/twisted ideas of love, generational trauma, etc. for example, sirius is referred to multiple times as being a disappointment, and this would probably be due to a combination of the fact that sirius was against the fundamental bigoted values that the family is firmly rooted in- and actively acting against them publicly- humiliating them and their family name and legacy, and the fact that sirius would have disappointed walburga+orion by not conforming to their ideal of a heir. therefore, there treatment of sirius is likely because they wanted “more” for him, and wanted him to fit into their predetermined familial dynamic, rather than just calling him a disappointment for no reason (which makes no sense).

d) there is no canon evidence for physical abuse ever happening to any members of the black family HOWEVER, i believe it is very plausible that there was some degree of violence in the households, but this would probably not have been things such as the cruciatus curse (if it was that extreme it doesn’t make sense that it has never even been implied in canon), but instead minor hexes, or boxing(?) ears, etc. it’s also possible that there were punishments such as being withheld supper, or being made to stand in a corner for extended periods of time (i personally think this is what happened: and it would’ve been done under a misguided notion of teaching resilience and dignity and self-discipline, which seems very in-character for the family). these types of abuse would have been unfortunately quite common for the time period- and walburga+orion would’ve mostly likely viewed them as a form of discipline, punishment, or even ‘tough love’ rather than a genuine attempt at harm. (i am not in any way defending this type of abuse, this is an explanation on how this dynamic would’ve been seen during the period and in the situation)

e) sirius himself says to harry that the reason for him leaving is because he hated them and disagreed with them, rather than being kicked or driven out, or under so much physical torture that he had to leave. the breaking point of him leaving the family was most likely, imo, an argument with the family, and probably comments towards not just himself but also at james (because we all know he is kind of obsessed with him, and would defend him over anyone else).

SIBLING COMPETITION

walburga and orion comparing sirius and regulus in a very harmful way is canonically confirmed: sirius says he is reminded often that regulus is a better son than him.

do i think that the parents always favoured regulus? NO.

sirius is, in canon, probably one of the most powerful and smartest characters in the series. he is a powerful magician that can keep up with bellatrix in duels even while out of practice, he became an illegal animagus while still a teenager, he was part of creating the map and the twin mirros. he is also extremely intelligent, and it is pretty much outright stated that this comes very naturally to him: he is described as exceptionally smart by the teachers, he finds all his exams easy despite never studying etc etc. so he was most likely very bright and gifted from a very young age. he was also the oldest son, making him the heir. this creates a very clear dynamic between sirius and regulus, sirius is the perfect heir, more intelligent, more gifted than regulus could ever be. while it is also true that he has always been independent, and even rebellious (he happily talks abt breaking black tradition on the train with james) he would’ve been preferred by his parents and received lots of attention and favouritism. regulus would have been the spare. although his parents probably liked regulus better as he was more obedient, sirius was the heir, they were proud of sirius.

the problem comes in when sirius is sorted into gryffindor. the black family have traditionally always been in slytherin, and there are clear ties between the house of slythering and wealthy, high-status pureblood families, like the blacks. this is when sirius begins to step out of the mold as the perfect black heir. i personally do not think that sirius’ house was the singular reason while he becomes a disappointment and outcast of his family, but i do believe this event acted as a catalyst. the real problem arises when sirius begins to become dealigned with the values that he grew up with, and he starts to go against his family’s values and politics, and he does so publicly. he befriends well known blood traitors (james potter), half-bloods (remus lupin), muggleborns, and people from families that would not have been highly regarded by the blacks (peter pettigrew). he comes home from hogwarts and starts rebelling against his family by hanging up gryffindor colours, putting up photos of muggle women, and probably getting into disagreements with family members over their bigotry.

there is a common trope of regulus feeling upset at this because he wants to stay with sirius etc. and while i do think they had a relationship as brothers, i believe regulus would have secretly enjoyed sirius becoming more of a disappointment in his parents’ eyes. they are now embarrassed of sirius, and proud of regulus. when sirius left the family, would regulus have been sad? yes, probably, they are still brothers, still family. yet sirius’ departure changes the dynamic completely, in regulus’ favour. sirius is gone now, he isn’t just the embarrassment, he is no longer the heir, regulus is. regulus now has his parents’ undivided attention (i would say love, bc i believe they still loved sirius, but obviously he has just left them so like…), after being the 2nd choice for years and years of his life. regulus is just a child (14?15?) he would have wanted to be loved by his parents, and this is his chance.

ik that people either say that regulus was forced to become a DE or that he did it as an act of rebellion (more on this later). i personally HC that he genuinely was an extreme believer in voldemort’s views, especially as having seen first-hand the way that sirius left him and their family after deciding to go against the views. still, at 16, i don’t think it’s very likely that he joined at such a young age out of pure political views, rather as another attempt to be loved and valued by his parents, and to make himself more different from sirius.

i also think that the dynamics between the black sisters were equally as toxic and harmful. i don’t have too much material to work with, but anyway. after andromeda left, it was .just bellatrix and narcissa. we know that during the era that the books take place, the two have quite a close relationship- they spend time together, use nicknames, seem close generally, however, it also seems kind of strained? or like a bit off idk how to dsecribe it. anyway. i think as children/teenagers there was A LOT of comparison between the sisters, i think especially between andromeda and bellatrix; first, on the surface level, they are described to look very similar to each other, so subconsciously people would be likely to compare the two of them together, and think of narcissa as a separate unit because of how different she looks. secondly, i hc adnromeda and bellatrix would have been very similar in personality and skill: they would both be ambitious, outspoken, very very powerful and intelligent. (narcissa would also be really smart but in a more cunning, discreet way, compared to the two). as a child, i think narcissa would’ve been more obedient, more conforming to traditional gender roles and ideals of a noble, pureblood woman- following from this, i think she’d be more well-liked and more praised by druella+cygnus, the ‘perfect’ daughter. from this, i’d say that andromeda and bellatrix were closer as children, and even later on, until andromeda leaves the family. with andromeda gone, it is just bellatrix and narcissa- they’re both blacks, both intelligent, both powerful, but are so completely different from each other. where narcissa is strategic and restrained, bellatrix is bold and blunt. where narcissa is haughty, bellatrix is arrogant, etc etc. this then relates to how later on, narcissa fulfills exactly what is expected of her: she marries into one of the richest (probably THE richest? if im being honest) wizarding families, she has a son, she is smart and she keeps her family close, and most importantly she works from the inside- this is what the blacks do, and this is something bellatrix cannot do. bellatrix also marries into a rich wizarding family (the lestranges), but then she joins the DE- and furthermore becomes Voldemort’s right-hand not on account of her family name but her power. this causes problems for one main reason: she is now high-profile, and her hands are ‘dirty’ in a sense; the blacks work from the inside, they may agree with voldemort’s ideas, but they would never fight alongside him- they’d pay for the masks but never wear one themselves.

FAMILY RELATIONS

i think by now it is a relatively widespread hc that bellatrix’s favourite cousin was sirius and narcissa’s was regulus. i actually love this hc- i think bellatrix and sirius are mirrors of each other; they have very similar personalities in that they are both arrogant, bold, independent, and most of all they are intensely loyal. bellatrix to her family, sirius to james. sirius, as a child, thinks bellatrix is very much The Shit, he is happy to be like her. they look down on their “soft” siblings. when sirius becomes disillusioned with the family, that’s when things change, because sirius is no longer bellatrix’s parallel, he is andromeda’s, years later, sirius and andromeda are on the right side of the war- they’re proud of this, but one cannot escape their own blood, they are still blacks. when andromeda gets mistaken for bellatrix, when sirius, after decades, looks back at himself, they see bellatrix and they fear they are no better than her. narcissa on the other hand is regulus’ parallel- they are obedient, they grew up in the shadow of their louder, more powerful sibling, and they know in the eyes of their siblings they will forever be the ‘soft’ ones.

i think the previous generation is also interesting in this regard. unfortunately i do not have the brain capacity to understand who is actually related to who because they’re all inbred. i wonder tho; were cygnus and druella jealous of orion and walburga? they produced a male heir to the black fortune, in fact, they produced a spare too. were they actually happy- when sirius left, when regulus joined the DEs and died at 19? that would’ve left bellatrix as the heir(ess), surely. and also alphard is so interesting i wish i had enough energy to look into this more but i do not so.

POLITICS + TIES WITH VOLDEMORT AND THE DEATH EATERS

THEIR VALUES

toujours pur. always pure. the fact that this is their family motto makes it very clear that purity is at the centre of their values. i think in fanon this is kind of tunnel-visioned into just blood purity alot- and while yes, blood purity is a big part of it, i think this is referring to the isolationist nature of the black family- their inbreeding, their social circles. obviously there have been others married into the family, and they are selectively chosen, they will forever be outsiders in the eyes of the blacks. druella black, to them, is still druella rosier. (i can’t think of more examples, which honestly just shows how isolated the blacks are as a family/house). sirius mentions to harry that the blacks were convinced they were some kind of wizarding royalty- whether they are actually of this status or not, i think this is a good example of how the black family functioned- the way normal people are received by the royal family and even the press when they marry into the family.

obviously bigotry is a large part of the black family, mainly blood purity, but i’ll talk about that in the voldemort part. regarding other types of bigotry, although not explicitly stated i think it is pretty clearly implied? for example, sirius is a very queer-coded character, in regards to his family experience. i imagine the blacks have very traditional conservative values, and i think it’s interesting to see the politics of the uk in the 70s and 80s reflected back in the family and the wider scene of the first wizarding war at the time. although i can’t imagine the blacks caring for matters that they probably considered to be very muggle-centric, like feminism, and queer rights, it’s interesting that the first wizarding war- essentially a fascist movement that promotes the supremacy of purebloods coincides with the rise of social conservatism and thatcherite morality, which is largely family centric, which i think makes sense actually? with the black family at least, who care about purity as a means of protecting their own. (if this is incoherent im sorry its 4am)

SUPPORT FOR VOLDEMORT

it’s pretty much stated that the black familyas an institution has basically the exact same values as Voldemort and the DEs. i truly dislike the hc of walburga and orion forcing the dark mark on regulus , and trying on sirius, or even encouraging the idea of joining the DEs because

a) the blacks are a noble, generational-wealth type family. these types of families do not get directly involved in conflict, they are not on the battlefields, on the missions. it’d be unlike them to get their hands dirty or be involved with the DEs in any incriminating way. (if they are caught somehow i’m sure they have good ties to the wizengamot, but the blacks are calculated, they are strategic, they would not want to risk their own blood being spilled, especially in a state of war when the ministry is being headed by people such as moody and barty crouch sr.

b) they would believe it is below them. they don’t concern themsleves with such trivial matters. the blacks are haughty and arrogant if nothing else. the DEs ranks include werewolves, half-bloods, and those from less-respected wizarding families. getting involved would only taint the pure, the pristine reputation of the family.

although they are privately in agreement with voldemort, the blacks would not want to physically lift so much as a finger to support his cause. i do not think they would have liked regulus’ involvement.

do i think as a family they were involved in the war? yes. perhaps not in a physical way, but in OOTP we get a close look at 12GP, and what we see is that the blacks have unparalleled access to the dark arts, dark magic, knowledge, and wealth too. this was probably the extent of the blacks’ involvement with the war (except for bellatrix, regulus, and sirius ofc), and it would only be to further their own interests.

WEALTH AND STATUS

WEALTH

the blacks are extremely rich. this is likely all generational wealth, they are old-money. we can see this through how we do not know anything about where their fortune comes from, it’s certainly not from the hard work of orion, or cygnus. i think a good family to contrast them with is the potters- though they have several prominent ancestors, these ancestors are not wealthy- at least enough to last them through several generations. the potters are rich, but they are part of the nouveau riche- their money primarily comes from fleamont potter’s invention of hair potions; the potters are businessmen! the blacks are simply wealthy.

however, it’s also noteworthy that the blacks were probably wealthy in a combination of connections, status, and estates rather than actual, physical money. in canon, the black vault is well guarded and important, but not as deep or grand as the lestranges’ family vault. many families with generational-wealth are actually not as rich as one may expect, or are even declining, which may be the case with the blacks, especially if you compare the state of 12GP to other homes such as the malfoy manor. yes, 12GP is their traditional home, and has ancient magic etc. but it cannot compare to the size and grandeur of malfor manor, which is a good indicator of their actual financial state.

STATUS

so the blacks obviously were of high status: described as one of the oldest, wealthiest and most prominent families in the wizarding world.

i see some things about the sacred 28 being all nobility and aristocracy- however, in canon, this is literally jsut a list written up by a member of one of these families, and in fact, some of the families such as weasley and gaunt were not of significant financial status. but i do believe that having the claim of being a pureblooded family gave the blacks some type of status, especially among the blood purist families/cicles. the blacks also tend to be intelligent and powerful (sirius, bellatrix, etc.), which helps further to elevate their status and i also hc that they’re all really hot so that helps too. i do think out of tradition, and just because blacks are probably the longest-standing pureblood line, and are connected with every other significant line, the black family are the most highly regarded or prominent wizarding family; linking to sirius’ claims that his family believed themselves to practically be royalty. there is no wizarding royalty, and although the blacks are not the outright wealthiest, due to their status, fame, political power/influence, etc. they are probably as close as you can get. however, the idea that you can get close to being royalty may be problematic, but we also have to remember that the wizarding world mirrors the muggle world- the monarchy is constitutional and they have no real power other than influence- which is what i think the blacks have. sirius’ phrasing, though, is kind of indicative of the idea that maybe the blacks were a little delusional, and perhaps believed their status to be more inflated than it actually was- we don’t actually have any solid evidence of the blacks being of higher status than the malfoys, or the lestranges, or the rosiers, etc.

#the noble and most ancient house of black #hp meta #sirius black #regulus black #bellatrix black #narcissa black #andromeda black #walburga black #orion black #druella black #cygnus black

23 notes · View notes

queenofanime · 1 year

Note

Could you do Masrur, kouha being dads to girls. Please?

Hi!! I'm so sorry I took so long. Christmas was crazy (too many family dinners that I did not enjoy).

Masrur and Kohua with their daughters

So we know Masrur already has a daughter called Sadi. At first, he was afraid of having daughters. Masrur even states that he can't do delicate things, so he's afraid of braiding hair, clothing, and feeding.

He tries, he really really tries. (Seen Brooklyn-99? Terry building the princess castle? Yeah, that's Masrur. He just doesn't ask for help or yell. The suffering is internal).

Most of his father's references actually trace back to Ja'far. He teaches his daughters to read and write (even though he hates it himself). And while he is not great with the sword, he teaches them a few moves for self-defense.

His communication skills might be lacking, but his observational ones aren't. He knows when his daughters are down and he knows how to cheer them up. (He probably suggests hunting or sparring).

Sometimes a little overprotective but at the same time, Masrur knows children will be children.

Takes their daughters to the Dark Continent.

Masrur and Hinahoho have a lot of playdates since Fanalis and Imuchakk are known for their strength. Other 'normal' children always seem to leave crying.

Bless whoever dates/marries Kouha's daughter because he will not have mercy on their soul.

For his daughter's third birthday, he gave her an axe (what kind of woman doesn't have an axe?). Told her she could decapitate anyone she desired (everyone told him 'no').

Unlike Masrur, Kouha will spoil his daughter rotten, he hates saying no. And hates grounding her. Deep down, he knows he needs to discipline her and can't let his daughter get away with everything.

While he loves fighting, he teaches his daughter how to dress with class, how to style her hair, and how to always be 'good looking'. He loves Koumei, he just doesn't want his daughter to pick up his brother's bad habits.

One thing Kouha is set on teaching his daughter is to always protect the weak and the outcasts.

His daughter is way too smart for her one good. She ends up causing trouble and quite the commotion everywhere she goes. (Always make an entrance: Life lessons from her Kouha himself)

_________________

If you enjoy my writing, even just a little bit... can you follow my insta?

I'm trying to grow my newly created art account: nena_rpa

Your support would mean the world to me :)

#kouha ren #masrur #magi labyrinth of magic #magi kingdom of magic #kou empire #sindria #masrur magi #kouha ren magi #parenting is hard #daughter reader #kouha as a father #masrur as a father #magi parents #magi x reader #femreader

185 notes · View notes

femmefatalearchives · 4 months

Text

Keys to confidence

If you want to be confident, give yourself something to be confident about.

Do you make your bed everyday when you wake up?

Do you spend your time constantly scrolling on social media?

Do you talk down on yourself?

Do you not take care of your looks?

Is your skincare routine lacking?

Do you drink enough water?

Do you know how to properly socialize?

Do you self-hate?

Sometimes our confidence is based on our routines in life.

If you're not doing anything very noteworthy, perhaps like studying, picking up a hobby, investing in yourself, and constantly practicing discipline then maybe that's why you are struggling with confidence. You've nothing to be confident about.

Start small day by day, make a to-do list of something very small and basic, maybe just putting something in the freezer, having a glass of water, or making your bed.

Accomplishing things can increase dopamine, and also cause you to trust yourself more.

By slowly practicing small means of discipline eventually you may be able to go much further and by then your confidence may be much higher. I

f you struggle to socialize and make connections, try reading books about how to socialize better and see the results that may come your way.

Sometimes, its just all about discipline.

28 notes · View notes

ladylyra · 20 days

Note

I'm ngl I've been dying to ask about them and I love when you talk about your characters so I was wondering if maybe you'd be interested in talking a lil about Lucille, Lihue, and Souta? I'm kinda curious about their dynamic but also just them as characters so it's up to you how you want to answer!! Thank you!

i'll talk about them independently and then their dynamics!! thank you for asking!! sorry i talked a lot not a little

lucille is a very others-focused person; if she has the opportunity to help someone out, she will. she enjoys feeling like she is doing the right thing, of course, but she also craves the praise and attention that comes along with it. she's very expressive and silly, which can make her 'funny' to observe, but she's got a different sense of humor than someone like souta; i can't really imagine her ever making a habit of serious jokes at someone else's expense. she really just wants everyone to feel welcome and like they have a place. her greatest weakness is probably her lack of focus and her need for external validation; she has a lot of ideas in her head of what she feels is right and what she should do, but heavily relies on the discipline of others around her to help with implementation and "streamline" her goals and formulate concrete plans. She's gotten better at doing this on her own with age and experience, though, so she's been able to be more independent and an effective leader. she's constantly trying to see the best in others, and their potential, so she can get caught down rabbit holes of situations she may be better off abandoning.

lihue is all about self improvement and efficiency. she hates wasting her time and if she's involving herself in something, it is usually because she feels like there's something she can learn from it. to her, skill acquisition is how she gains self-sufficiency; relying on others too much makes her uncomfortable and she has huge issues with vulnerability. she tries to approach all emotions from an analytical lens and can come off as insensitive as a result. while this emotional neglect impacts others, it has also impacted herself greatly; she is normally very decisive, but her reluctance to pay mind to her emotions has left an experience gap, making her hesitant, scared, and unsure in vulnerable exchanges she considers far outside her depth. rather than wade through her emotions, she holds others at a distance. this is her biggest fault, and something she is actively working on; despite her attitude, which can sometimes come off as if she thinks herself better than others, she is highly self critical, and she doesn't feel like she can ever do enough to distance herself from her past actions.

souta can come off as a "just here to have fun" sort of guy on the surface, but he's far more deep than he lets on, and he takes a lot of enjoyment in seeing others try to understand him. a lot of the things he says and does are to see how others respond, noting their patterns and behaviors, information he stores for use later. because of this, it comes off like he always has a reply to whatever is thrown at him--some detail said offhandedly in a previous convo? he probably remembers that. some nervous tick? he saw that, too. as you may expect, he has a teasing problem, which can make serious conversations a struggle to attain; sometimes, this is just him getting caught up in conversations he sees as games he can win, other times it is a deliberate effort to obfuscate since he does have, to a smaller degree, vulnerability issues like lihue. because he has no memory of his life as a human, he places a great value on his current life and works to carve out a unique identity and purpose; whether that past person was good or bad, he does not want to define himself or be defined by others as someone he doesn't even view as himself. he likes to maintain a sense of independence and control over his life--he loathes ever feeling obligated to do something, and he would rather everything be a product of his own choice. to him, that makes his loyalty worth even more, right?

OKAY NOW THE SEPARATE DYNAMICS

lucille and souta have definitely gotten the most time together. he finds her authenticity and self-sacrificing nature admirable and she's very fun to watch. she's expressive and doesn't tend to hide her thoughts, so it's instant gratification whenever he does something. i don't see him as someone who is super approval-seeking normally ( he's pretty confident on his own) but i think he is a little desperate (won't admit it) for lucille to like him and to find him funny. she was definitely the one most interested in learning about his past life / backstory. the attention was a feeling he got hooked on and got really into baiting, until the point that it began to make her overthink things and for him to start feeling not seen for who he was in the present. they both enjoy being around someone they can have fun with, so they can sometimes forget to GET SERIOUS but they have some good serious moments too (she makes him more committal and honest, he makes her more introspective, both start to think a little more long term because they want the other person there, ect). i didn't plan them from the start, and i only began to explore them after lihue had left. i think comparing them as lucille's 'options' is natural as a result. souta offers a lot that lihue never did; he's a little evasive when hes a tease, but he also doesn't hesitate to validate lucille when she needs it, and he finds her reactions as a result just as satisfying. his decision to follow her also means a lot to her; she's someone who values loyalty highly, and it is difficult for her to let people she loves go. with him, she doesn't find herself questioning loyalty or if he loves her, which means a lot to her.

lucille and lihue were far more planned early-on. i feel their personalities compliment more obviously: high extroversion vs high introversion, lucille is more head-in-the-clouds, lihue is more practical and efficient. lucille's warm and accepting, lihue is critical and severe. with them, i think a mistake would be to believe that lihue was somehow the more mature one. lucille is more upbeat, seemingly "gullible", and allows her herself more vulnerability, but this permission to feel isn't immaturity; it is an acceptance she may be hurt, but she'll take the risk because she wants the chance to connect with others. lihue runs from situations she is scared of and hurts people like lucille as a result. even as she learns this to be wrong, she feels she can never recover from what she has done. it's a game of lucille forgiving and giving chances, and lihue feeling she doesn't deserve the chances or isn't ready for anything lucille has to offer. there's some merit to this; lucille shouldn't have to tolerate being hurt because she is living for someone's potential, but she truly does want lihue in her life, whether it be as a friend or something else, so she's just working on being a good person and someone lihue can rely on once she allows herself that vulnerability. another thing with them is sorting through if you still like a person or if you like your memories of them, since they did originally like each other when they were younger, and a lot of time has passed since then; they are trying to navigate this as more mature people. definitely a big hurdle is that lihue's past behavior does make lucille paranoid about the future, but she's managing this by just being realistic with her expectations and accepting she can't control lihue, only herself.

well well well……….souta and lihue. souta does not feel threatened by lihue at all; he sees her as highly predictable, easy to run circles around, and definitely easy to poke fun at. he'd probably be more inclined to be 'harsher' to her than to lucille because lihue wants to act tough all the time. since she's so self-critical, she'd probably expect that he'd be more confrontational toward her over lucille (she deserves it right?) but he isn't actually. he talks to her about it casually or just makes small jabs about it, but nothing that would start a fight. serious fights aren't his vibe and he thinks lucille can voice her feelings herself. lihue might feel a little jealous that he offers a lot that she feels she cant. BUT BESIDES THE LUCILLE FACTOR. i did intend them to be friends early in the comic. they often appeared more as a pair before lihue left the team. lihue sees him as someone who is highly intelligent but who wastes his time on things that are too inane. she doesn't see the logic in his behavior and feels he wastes a lot of time on things that don't matter. like lucille, he's distinguished from lihue by his extroversion, but he's less silly; he's also a little bit more intimidating because he doesn't see the need to be careful with her. likewise, she also doesn't waste time sparing his feelings, so i can imagine their exchanges coming off as incredibly harsh or direct, and potentially off-putting to outsiders. i think they have a 'bite' to them which has its own appeal--i think she'd eventually catch up to his teases and try to be just as ruthless back.

i definitely have my personal biases for what i feel is 'best' for certain characters and what is most narratively satisfying (whole separate conversation), but i enjoy exploring them all and think they've got interesting drama. i think about them a lot. they have a playlist. i have songs. theyre always on my mind

#lucille #lihue #souta #platinum 2

10 notes · View notes

x-kiwi-03 · 11 months

Text

Here, have this shitty, ancient Chisaki origin analysis I wrote bc I lack content (I just babble throughout the entire thing)👍

His origin: We really don't know a whole lot about his childhood. We see him at quite a young age on the streets, dirty, seemingly homeless during the scene where Pops (the Boss before Kai) takes him in. We also have another scene in the flower garden where Pops is getting onto Kai after he got into a fight at school, then Pops patting Kai on the head and thanking him for sticking up for the Yakuza. With those flashbacks we could make the assumption that Kai had an ok childhood, he seemed to have a good relationship with his adoptive father figure, was getting an education, lived in the large Yakuza compound, etc.

So then why did he end up so messed up? Why is it that there are so few good memories of Pops shown? If their relationship was as good as Kai talked about it, then why wasn't there more to show? Like the little things, helping with homework, playing ball, watching movies, saying goodnight and being tucked into bed, hell, we never even saw Kai smile. There was only those two memories of being taken in and patted on the head. Which leads me to believe Kai didn't have all that great of a childhood. I believe Kai was deeply emotionally neglected, which is why he felt such a strong need to repay Pops, so that he could get that same recognition that he got that one time in the flower garden. Kai craves Pops' attention because Kai loves him. Who wouldn't crave the attention of those they love, especially when it's been denied over and over again?

Later one in Kai's adulthood, we see Pops getting onto Kai for disobedience and breaking Yakuza rules by selling drugs. Kai defends himself by saying he was doing it for the greater good of the Yakuza, so Pops sorta let's him off with a warning, telling him not to "stray from the path layed out before him." This is the same way Pops dealt with Kai after he got into a fight at school, Pops didn't agree with Kai's actions but also didn't discipline him. This is a type of neglect, and it teaches a child that they can get away with anything unpunished, and in Kai's case, with praise. Discipline is a crucial part a child's upbringing, it not only teaches them what not to do in the future, and why they shouldn't, but also how to discipline themselves as adults. You know that little voice in the back of your head that tells you to eat an entire package of Oreos because they're so delicious? Do you know what stops you? The voice of your childhood discipline. "You know, I'll just eat a few and heat up some leftovers if I'm still hungry," or, "No, you fat fart, you've already had your daily almond!" Whether it was healthy or unhealthy discipline it still stopped you from making a dumb decision. That is the reason people don't give into dangerous impulses, like drug abuse or alcoholism, and Kai very obviously hasn't been taught that.

Real quick; no, the undisciplined adults I'm talking about aren't "Karens," those people are undisciplined children that could change their parents answer with whining. Those are egotistical mega narcissist, I believe Kai is a sociopath, but back to the point.

In that same scene, Pops says something along the lines of, "I know you're just trying to thank me for taking you in, but you always take things too far." Insinuating that situations like these have often happend throughout Kai's upbringing. For each time Kai was "gotten onto," he also got what he craved, attention.

Skip to after Kai puts Pops in a coma and starts using Eri for drugs, that character was his facade. Overhaul I mean. We see his real self during prison break. Kai isn't full of himself like the way Overhaul is represented (not as much, anyway), Kai hates himself. He feels unworthy of care, unworthy of a home, unworthy of a family. That's why he cares so much for the Yakuza, he wants to feel worthy of having it. That's also why he hated being called "Kai Chiskai," he no longer wanted to be himself, so he threw Kai away and became this Overhaul character that felt worthy.

I hypothesize that this is also why he dislikes Eri, because he feels unworthy. I've seen things about Kai seeing himself in Eri, and since he hates himself, he let's all that hatred out on her. I think that's part of it, but not all. I think there's a bit of jealousy in there. There's no proof, but maybe Pops was very loving to Eri because they were blood related, and maybe he wasn't as close with his daughter, so he decided to make up for it with Eri. Maybe she got that parental attention that Kai craved from the beginning; the bedtime stories, board games throughout the day, late night ice-cream. So when Pops ordered him to figure out her quirk, he felt like a pawn, a man who worked for Pops, and no longer a son, he felt replaced.

Maybe after Pops' daughter left that's when he found Kai, maybe Pops always claimed Kai was her replacement. That Kai filled a hole in their family and that made him special, that made him needed. So when Eri came along, his place in the family was threatened. He was loved, he was the bosses son, he was the hier, he didn't want to leave another family, he didn't want to be replaced, and in his experience in the yakuza he's seen how easy it is to be replaced. So, Eri had to go.

#bnha #mha #kai chisaki #overhaul #chisaki kai #shie hassaikai boss #shie hassaikai #eri #eri chisaki #eri chan #eri mha #bnha pops #mha pops #shie hassaikai pops

33 notes · View notes

couldntbedamned · 5 months

Text

Goodbye Grey Sky, Hello Blue - 31

Summary: In an alternate universe where trains and zeppelins are still common forms of travel and the internet and cell phones exist, nineteen year old Peter Parker has few options left after he’s swindled out of his inheritance. Unable to pay for college, let alone keep the house left to him by his deceased aunt, he’s running out of time before he’s out on the streets. Desperate, Peter signs his life over to the Bureau of Civic Spousal Selections to take his chances as the selected husband of a complete stranger. After all, he only has to make it through a year and then he can choose to annul.

Dr. Stephen Strange has little interest in marriage, preferring to focus on his career. When his career is threatened by what a nosy board of directors considers a “lack of personal fulfillment and settling down,” he opts to select a spouse through the BCSS and chooses Peter Parker. The young man’s profile he’d briefly skimmed suggests intelligence and compatibility. It’s not ideal, but if after a year it’s not working out, he can always annul the marriage and send Peter on his way.

It’s a marriage neither truly wants, with sharp learning curves for both. It’s either going to be forever or it’s going to go down in flames.

Warnings/AO3 Tags: 18+ MINORS DNI, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1950s/Modern Fusion, Doctor Stephen Strange, Jewish Peter Parker, Peter Parker is an Adult, Marriage of Convenience, Marriage Contracts, Government Sanctioned Marriages, Domestic Discipline, Dubiously Consensual Spanking, Spanking, Aftercare, Mildly Dubious Consent, Dubious Morals, Dubious Ethics, Asshole Stephen Strange, Smartass Peter Parker, Passive Aggressive Canned Soup, Two Morons Trying to Try Their Best, Borrowing Characters

Author's Note: I cannot overstate how self-indulgent the writing of this chapter has been. I absolutely adore it and I hope you do, as well!

-------

Chapter 31

-------

The flight from New Amsterdam to California would take fourteen hours. When booking, Stephen had paid for one of the airship's coveted private cabins, wanting both the convenience and to ensure Peter would have fond memories of his first time on one of the zeppelins he was so interested in.

Peter's excitement over finally getting to ride in a zeppelin had been apparent all week. He was less excited about the need to wake up at three in the morning so they could make it to the hangar in Upper York and fly out at five in the morning. Even with Stephen making sure the Buick was loaded the night before, there was still a feeling of being rushed which neither of them enjoyed.

"You are insufferable when you're cranky from lack of sleep," Stephen told him while driving.

"I've been told," Peter said through a yawn. "Sorry about that. My Aunt May hated trying to wake me up."

"When we board, the flight staff will have their safety presentation that we'll have to sit through. Then, you'll have the chance to sleep in the cabin once we're airborne and stable." He'd sat through the safety lecture many times.

"And you'll make sure I don't sleep the whole time?"

"It's a fourteen hour flight; you'll be awake for the majority of it, I promise."

Peter nodded and dozed off with his head against the window.

He roused Peter once they pulled into the parking garage for the hangar and they made their way to the security checkpoint where their tickets and identification was checked. The attendant at the counter frowned at him when he provided Peter's identification but passed them through.

"What was that about?" Peter asked.

Ah. Peter had noticed.

"I believe she took exception with the fact that your identification was issued by the Bureau and that I'm a selecting spouse."

That had Peter offering up a frown of his own. "Well, that's just dumb," he said. "Lots of people have BCSS marriages."

Was he reading too much into Peter's words? Or was Peter just still grumpy from lack of sleep?

"Luckily a sour expression was all we had to deal with," he soothed. "And her sour expression is basically a smile compared to the charge nurse at Sanctum General's ER."

Peter grinned. "You've made Nurse Temple angry before, haven't you?"

"Only once. It wasn't on purpose, and I've learned to tread carefully since," he admitted. He'd rather swallow rocks than risk incurring Nurse Temple's wrath again. Her ire had not been fun to be the recipient of and she had a stressful enough job as it was.

"Aw, he's human just like the rest of us!"

"You're such a brat."

Tired as he was, Peter looked around the bustling hangar - one of eight on the edge of Upper York - with interest. He'd been here once before, but he'd been too excited about meeting Tony Stark! to pay much attention in and around the massive structure. The zeppelin he and Stephen would be flying out on was the third ship to leave the assigned hangar that morning. There was a fourth airship behind them.

Peter knew zeppelins were so much larger than many realized, but seeing the size of the passenger gondola and how it was dwarfed by the sheer size of the envelope of the ship was truly awe-inspiring. Obviously the airship was huge - the hangars were each thirty stories tall and three football pitches wide, after all - but seeing it in-person was a whole new experience. Even the mobile mooring masts that steered the zeppelins in and out of the hangars were impressive.

"This is the Cessna LTA 2-4026 model," he rattled off while they stood waiting to board. "It was officially approved to fly two years ago and so far there are thirteen hundred all over the globe, and they make up thirty percent of the zeppelins flying today."

Stephen listened patiently as they progressed through the line and up the ramp. He handed the attendant the top copy of their tickets, reserving the canary and pink copies for the lunch check during the flight and luggage retrieval once they arrived in New Angeles. Peter's excitement at something as mundane as air travel was enjoyable to witness. He himself had flown multiple times and did fine the science and grandeur of it interesting, but Peter's enthusiasm lent a new view of it all, somehow. He also found it adorable that Peter kept yawning through his recitations.

They were escorted to their cabin where they stowed their carry-ons. Stephen locked the cabin and slipped the key in the interior pocket of his blazer. Then he and Peter took two of the unassigned seats. Peter looked around, taking in every detail he could. Stephen could see him practically vibrating with the desire to move over to the side of the gondola where the windows provided a currently unimpressive view.

"You can go look once we're in the air and the flight staff have given us leave to move around."

In less than half an hour, everyone had boarded and took their seats.

A voice came on over the speakers.

"Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I'm Captain Seagrum and assisting me on this fourteen hour flight to New Angeles, California is Captain Ayers. We're in the process of completing our pre-flight checks and will start our steering out of the hangar once given the green light by Hangar Control. In the meantime, our dedicated flight staff will brief you on the safety procedures of this airship."

The flight staff ran through their presentation and while many of the passengers had obviously heard it before, Peter made sure to pay attention. Logically he knew where was an almost zero percent chance of a water landing, but surely knowing what would be expected was better than not knowing. What if they were forced to land on a lake and it was up to him to save everyone?

Captain Seagrum came back on the speakers after the fight staff finished. "We've been given the green light so please remain seated as we steer out of the hangar and begin our ascent."

Slowly, the zeppelin began moving through the hangar until they were steered outside where the sun was beginning to rise, painting the horizon orange and pink. There was a pause wherein Peter assumed the hangar ground crew were detaching the mooring mast and then there was the curious and gentle sensation of the ship rising.

"We are beginning our ascent, and we expect to cruise at an altitude of approximately three thousand meters."

Peter leaned into Stephen. "Cessna is currently doing research and development into pressurized gondolas. The thought is that that pressurizing will allow the zeppelins to reach higher altitudes. But if they do, they'll have to address making the shell and envelope of the ship stronger." Then he yawned, causing Stephen to chuckle.

"Looks like you'll be going down for a nap shortly," Stephen told him. When Peter opened his mouth to complain, Stephen cut him off. "You'll be awake for plenty of this flight and I'm not going to listen to you struggling to stay awake when you'll have a comfortable place to rest."

"Can I at least look out the promenade windows first?"

"Yes, of course."

The all-clear to move around the gondola was given and Peter fairly launched himself out of his seat and over to the starboard promenade area. Stephen joined him at much more dignified pace, though he enjoyed seeing Peter so excited. Peter looked out one of the floor to ceiling windows, taking in the view of what was turning out to be a magnificent New Amsterdam morning in late spring.

Stephen let Peter take in the view for a few minutes before he tried to stifle a large yawn. "Okay, to the cabin with you."

He guided Peter to their private cabin and unlocked the door.

The cabin itself held a queen bed, a small built in chest of drawers, and an armchair. There were also windows with retracting shades.

"Are you going to stay here?" Peter asked after removing his shoes, his blazer, and tie. He started unbuttoning the sleeves of his shirt.

"Would like for me to stay?" Stephen asked. "And if your answer is dependent on whether or not I intend the ravish you at three thousand meters, the answer is no. The soundproofing of these cabins is quite lacking, I'm afraid. I'd rather keep your delightful noises to myself."

Peter blushed but nodded. "Yeah, that makes sense. In our home is one thing, but in a public zeppelin is another."

"Precisely."

"Isn't there a dining lounge a level down?" Peter asked.

"There is."

"You should have breakfast, then," he said. "It'll be seven before long."

"Alright. I'll lock the door behind me; no one should bother you. Get some sleep and I'll wake you up in time for luncheon."

He waited until Peter drifted off and then left, doing as he said and locking the door behind him. He didn't linger in the dining lounge, content to eat a bagel with cream cheese and lox - Peter was on to something there - a small bowl of cut fruit, and wash down breakfast with a cup of coffee. His fellow passengers were even less inclined to talk at the early hour than he was so luckily, no one approached.

There wasn't much else to do but content himself with one of the books he'd brought. He chose a seat on the port side promenade and started reading. It was a medical murder thriller - one highly recommended by Clea he'd agreed to try. He found himself enjoying it tremendously, even if the man in charge of solving the gruesome and convoluted murder was no Rex Gladstone. He could even appreciate that author had clearly done her research; the doctors, nurses, and medical examiner she'd written knew their stuff. Probably an hour later, one of the flight staff pushed her cart through the promenade and Stephen accepted the offer of a cherry fizzy water and a small bag of crisps before turning his attention back to the book. He needed to know if he'd correctly guessed who the killer was and their motive.

(He was right.)

He started on another book and was half-way through it when he noticed that some of the other passengers were leaving the promenade. He checked his watch and saw that it was almost time to wake Peter.

His young husband was curled up on the bed, chest rising and falling softly. He looked so peaceful that Stephen almost hated to wake him up. However, Peter needed to eat and letting him get too much sleep before acclimating to a new time zone once they reached California would only lead to his husband being cranky, which Stephen had no desire to deal with.

He shook Peter awake gently. "Peter, it's time to wake up."

Peter's eyes fluttered open and he stretched. "It's time already?"

"They'll start serving luncheon in about thirty minutes."

Peter nodded and sat up. "There should be food I'll be able to eat, right?"

"Yes, I informed the ship line when I bought our tickets. Your canary copy has your dietary note on it."

"Oh! Great!" He started to re-button his cuffs and the top three of his shirt. He took the tie Stephen handed him and pulled it tighter after slipping it around his neck. His shoes were next and then he shrugged into the light-weight blazer. "Will I do?"

"I'll be the envy of many, for sure," Stephen said with a smile.

Peter's cheeks went pink.

"Come, I don't believe in being fashionably late."

Peter barely resisted pinching himself over the course of luncheon. He couldn't believe that he, Peter Strange, poor guy from Midtown, was actually eating a fancy luncheon on a zeppelin! He always imagined that if he ever got to take a ride on one, it would be one of the smaller commercial zeppelins, where seats were assigned and passengers only served a small snack and refreshment.

Instead he sat across from Stephen enjoying a bowl of hot tomato basil soup with a perfectly cooked grilled cheese on sourdough. There was also a bowl of fruit and his favorite brand of lemon fizzy water. Stephen's lunch was an arugula salad topped with radishes, cherry tomatoes, pine nuts, feta cheese, a balsamic vinaigrette, and sliced steak cooked to a medium rare. He forewent the offered fizzy water and instead had a glass of red wine.

"Is it good?" he asked Stephen.

"It is. Yours?"

"Oh, it's wonderful," Peter assured him. "Simple can be good." It was simple, yes, but the soup was flavorful and the grilled cheese had a delightful mix of cheeses that elevated it far above what he himself would usually make.

"How was your nap?"

"The bed is far more comfortable than I thought it would be," Peter said. "What did you end up doing?"

Stephen wiped his mouth and smiled. "I sat on the promenade and read. I finished the copy of A Hush at Stillsong General Clea loaned me and started Mutiny of the Spaceborn."

"No wild parties, then?"

"No wild parties."

"What did you think of Stillsong?" Peter asked eagerly.

"It was a good read," Stephen admitted. "I can always appreciate when an author does their research and the medical aspect was handled very well."

"Did you guess who the killer was?"

"And the motive," Stephen confirmed. "It was a good read; I enjoyed it."

One of the staff wheeled over a dessert cart and they each selected what they preferred. Stephen chose a warm apple crumble tart and Peter, knowing he was being quite predictable, chose a chocolate pudding parfait.

"I knew that's what you'd pick," Stephen teased after the young man wheeling the cart moved on.

"I've always had a weakness for chocolate," Peter said simply, digging into his parfait.

The view from the promenade was spectacular and Stephen glanced from his book to the windows every now and again. Peter had finally settled down with a book of his own - another gruesome murder mystery loaned to him by Clea. It was an enjoyable afternoon and he spent as much time people-watching as he did reading and looking out of the floor to ceiling windows.

"What time will it be when we arrive in Malibu?" he asked Stephen when they returned to the dining lounge for supper.

Stephen checked his watch and presumably did some quick math in his head. "It will be around four pm because of the time difference. We'll most likely arrive at the mansion around five-thirty."

Peter shook his head. "Time zones are so weird."

Stephen chuckled. "They are and they have confounded and exhausted many a traveler. Our mobiles will update when we land so we'll be oriented."

"Is Tony picking us up from the hangar?"

"He's sending a car service," Stephen said. "Given her delicate condition he's hesitant to leave Sharon alone at home and he's even less inclined to let her leave their mansion."

"No wonder she sounded so annoyed when I spoke with her the other day," Peter said. "She kept muttering about how she was going to slip a sleeping tonic into his drink so she could get some peace and quiet."

Stephen laughed harder.

"You don't sound very sympathetic to her plight," Peter chided playfully.

"Hey, I tried to warn her off when they first met," Stephen said, still laughing.

"I'm glad they found each other," Peter said. "I know I never met them before they got married, but they just seem to work, you know?"

Stephen nodded. "I do. I had my reservations, but now I can't imagine either of them with someone else. True happiness like theirs is rare."

They continued reading, only stopping when yet another of the flight staff wheeled a cart in with fizzy waters, bottled sodas, and a selection of light snacks.

"I could get used to this," Peter commented as he enjoyed a lemon fizzy water and small plate of apple slices with peanut butter.

"I don't know," Stephen said. "I find myself missing the snacks you packed for me the last time I flew."

It was absurd, but Peter was ridiculously pleased to hear it.

The descent to the New Angeles International Hangar was smooth and Peter hardly felt the airship connect with the mobile mooring mast that begin to steer it into the awaiting hangar - one of twelve!

Stephen didn't seem to be in any rush to disembark, guiding Peter back to their cabin to collect their things and ensure they had their pink tickets for the luggage claim. Peter gave the zeppelin one last look around before following Stephen and joining the throng of people in the arrivals bay.

"Was it everything you hoped it would be?" Stephen asked once they claimed their luggage and went to the passenger pick up bay.

"It was!" Peter assured him. "It was perfect! Even if I did have to nap for part of it."

There was a chauffeur waiting with a small sign that read 'Strange'. Stephen confirmed with the man that he was indeed employed by Stark Industries and showed his own identification. Peter didn't see why the man had to store their luggage in the trunk of the gleaming Cadillac, but followed Stephen's lead. Stephen helped him into the back of the car and then joined him.

"How long of a drive is it?" Peter asked.

The chauffeur, Klaus, answered before Stephen could. "It will be around an hour," he said. "We'll use the pooling lane to avoid most of the outgoing rush hour traffic."

While Stephen and Klaus made light conversation, Peter spent the ride leaning against Stephen, content with the easy-listening radio station Klaus had happily turned on. It had been such a long day and he was looking forward to going to bed later that evening almost as much as he was looking forward to seeing Sharon and Tony again.

"Not much longer," Stephen assured him quietly. "We'll visit, have dinner, visit some more, and then I'll take you to bed."

Peter eyed him. "Planning on returning the favor from their last visit?"

Stephen smirked. "Oh, you have no idea."

-------

#couldntbedamned fic #spiderstrange #spideystrange #stephen strange x peter parker #peter parker x stephen strange #1950s modern fusion au #1950s au #read the tags and warnings #no seriously read them #peter parker #stephen strange

9 notes · View notes

vanessalocke · 8 months

Text

[England x Nyo!France chemistry]

"She is the type of woman who is only suitable for a mistress, not the type of person I would marry."

That is Arthur Kirkland's comment for Marianne Bonnefoy.

Inside Arthur, there are always two conflicting emotions: he despises Mari, and he is also infatuated with her. Or to put it another way: in front of Mari, he becomes vulnerable and melancholy. But because of that mental fragility, he was afraid that when Mari knew how he felt for her, she would use those feelings to control him, so he always tried to give the impression that he despises her.

"He's a lovely man, but maybe he's not for me."

That is Marianne Bonnefoy's comment for Arthur Kirkland.

Contrary to her flashy appearance, being pursued by men and infatuated, Marianne always carries within herself the thought that she is not worthy of love, and that no one will be able to save her. The reason Arthur roasts Marianne no matter how many times she can still smile tolerantly at his insults is because what Arthur roasts her is what she thinks of herself. No one despised her more than Marianne despised herself.

The fact that Arthur (trying to pretend) appeared unconcerned, contemptuous of Marianne, invisible, reinforced Marianne's thinking that Arthur was not her knight. She thought Arthur was just like any other man. No, he did understand her a bit better than others (as evidenced, Arthur's harsh words were like repeating the harsh words that Mari had for herself). But just because he understands her doesn't mean he accepts her.

In Marianne's eyes, Arthur is a fastidious, disciplined man who wants a traditional, obedient wife. Even Arthur considers himself that way. Meanwhile, Marianne, although thoughtful and skillful, is too beautiful, too proud and less submissive. Mari's beauty is not the simple, modest beauty of traditional women, but the beauty that overwhelms others and attracts all eyes. Mari's pride comes from the social class, the pride of someone who received the best education since birth. Her lack of submission comes from the fact that she is a pampered young lady. How can a patriarchal, authoritarian like Arthur accept a wife who can be a counterweight to his powerful voice in the family like that?

What is the reason for Arthur's anger and contradictions? Coming from the background and social status of the two of them. Marianne was originally from a noble family, while Arthur was a poor peasant who worked from scratch to make a fortune and improve his social status. It was the difference in background that he became self-deprecating in front of Marianne. By the way, before Arthur met Mari, he was a rude person 🥲 It wasn't until he really liked Mari that he started to have low self-esteem. “Oh, I really have money and wealth, but I don't have any social status. If I dress like this, I wonder if she will laugh at me? My hair is messy like this, she must be judgmental right? No, no, anyone can despise me, but she must not despise me.”

So Arthur began his journey to find a place in the upper class, trying to step one foot into the world of Marianne.

Arthur's love for Mari is not exactly the love of lust. On first impressions, Arthur was sexually attracted to Mari, but her personality (along with the rumors surrounding her) caused him to despise and hate her (actually, the fox blames the green grapes. Because he can't reach her, that's why he insults her.).

He thought she was a flirt who only knew how to deceive and take advantage, and his pride could not accept that he was attracted to such an evil woman. Both attracted and hated, the two emotions inside Arthur became extremely contradictory. There were times when Marianne seduced him and was naked in front of him, even with a raised eyebrow he did not even bother to give her alms (an extreme contempt). Yet there are times, especially when Marianne seemed happy with another man, even though she dressed discreetly and had no intention of seducing him, he just wanted to grab her and make her his own, using violence to force her to stop running away from him (a desire that burned him day and night).

Arthur continued to conflict between desire and hatred until the day he learned the true story of Marianne's past. Through her story, he stepped a little closer to her soul. From then on, he realized to what extent he had long objectified her. In fact, she is more "human" than he thought, she also has emotions, thoughts, aspirations, knows how to think, and knows how to hurt, not simply a sexual image or a target of hatred in which he pinned her.

So, if it is not a woman who is doesn’t virtuous, and promiscuous, seducing men, then who is Marianne now appearing in front of Arthur's eyes?

Arthur realized, she was the kind of person who was skillful, and good at keeping calm. The type of person who, if someone yells at her, can still politely invite her to sit down and have a cup of tea. The kind of woman who has something old, reserved, more observant than she speaks. The type of person who looks like that but has a cool and rational head, knows how to calm herself well, not just screaming, losing her temper.

The mystery of women lies in this ability to calm down and stay calm. The most attractive type of woman is the type of woman who, even if the Alps were to collapse in front of her, would not blink a single eyelid but would still calmly sit and finish embroidering the flower on her handkerchief. There is something remarkable about this image, a courage that is not openly displayed, like the undercurrents beneath still water. This is the type of personality that can only be forged by time and life experience, but hardly found in young and impulsive girls.

Because of that mysterious feature, it is the experience of life and wisdom, that wisdom is accumulated over time but instead of being boasted, it is deposited at the bottom of the glass. That mystery is also a manifestation of "survival" - the survival and adaptation to environmental circumstances of people born with no strength to be able to live to this day. It is the deep eyes that have witnessed so many tragedies that bear a long unnamed historical story from the perspective of a woman. And that forms the "mystery of women".

When he truly saw what Marianne truly was, Arthur fell in love with her - with a true love, dedication, patience, sacrifice, and no longer an emotion mixed with lust and hatred.

The problem here is that Arthur is a proud man. He began to fall in love with Marianne, but the fear of being despised by her remained there, so he absolutely would not reveal his love to her, but only kept his unrequited love as a silent love. He used to hang around her often, taking care of her, but he kept acting like he hated her. He would rather let her hate him, see him as a rival, an annoying troublemaker, than let her know his weakness and turn him into a toy in her hands (he thinks so, but Mari doesn't). He was cold towards her, but when he saw her suffering because of being betrayed by other man, he was also miserable. When Arthur's desire cannot overcome his fear of being scorned, or if he still believes that Marianne will not forgive him for what he did to her, Arthur will become a watchful knight. for the princess, silently beside her, acting as a ghost in her life. Ah, but from another person's perspective, Arthur is no different than a dragon guarding and chasing away all the knights and princes from his princess.

Marianne always thought that if Arthur knew about her past, he would despise and hate her even more. She will hide from him, will reject him, will quietly leave him. When the dragon wakes up and sees the princess disappear, it will naturally go into a rage. He will hate her again for abandoning him, he will feel despised by her more than ever, and so he will go everywhere to find her. Why find her again? He doesn't know. It was meant to take revenge, to vent his hatred on her, but in reality he just wanted to see her again, to see if she was okay, happy without him present in her life. If Marianne is happy, and her life is much better without Arthur, fine, Arthur will go out of her sight, will tear up every picture of her he has, will burn every memento of her, and he will continue to live a grim life - that he pretended she had never been in his life. And if she was in pain, and the source of her suffering was the guy she loved, he would beat him up. This life Arthur only accepts himself to make her suffer, he does not accept anyone else to make her suffer.

Well, another case is, if Arthur meets Marianne again and finds her a single mother, then he will claim to raise her child, regardless of who the child's father is (yes, but the child's father is him).

About Marianne, she herself gradually realized that this Englishman was not what she always thought. Well, he's truly a guy from a poor, patriarchal, domineering, and toxic background, but he's better than she thought. No man is patient and tough enough to accept her past and go to the end like him. He is not the type to hide like she is. When he encounters a dragon rushing towards him, instead of trying to escape, he will risk his life to stand and confront that dragon, to protect those behind him. It was Arthur's perseverance, patience, his will to overcome adversity, his gritted teeth to endure all the difficulties and calamities that fell upon him that made Marianne admire him. However, she will never tell him that.

The roughness that Arthur brings is both control and overprotection, there is something very wild and primitive like the way a male wolf hunts and protects females and cubs. The reason Mari accepted his toxicity was because she knew that behind that aggression, this guy really needed her, and was afraid that if she were out of his sight, he wouldn't be able to protect her. If she leaves, he will be very miserable.

Because of Arthur's inner complexity, if they want to become a couple, Marianne must propose and confess her love first, even though Arthur has a reputation as a patriarch 🥲 this guy will never confess his feelings for Mari, because he is too proud. Even if Mari confessed, Arthur would act like he didn't care and brush off the confession, but in reality, it took him a day to calm down because he was so overwhelmed with emotions.

The above is just one of the many chemistry I built for this couple, but it's the main chemistry.

Before, I thought Arthur was just an impulsive boy, how could he possibly love Mari when she was so traumatized and complicated on the inside. I thought, if this guy got close to her, he would only hurt her. Only now do I begin to have a different perspective. Well he would really hurt her quite a bit with his porcupine spines. But his inner self is equally complex, and there is a strength in him that no one can match. It is that strength of his that makes him determined, steadfast, and able to shoulder the trauma of the love of his life.

Overall, this couple is really complicated. I've been planning to write about this couple for a long time but kept putting it off because I feel like no matter how I describe it, I can't fully cover the complexity of this couple. After all, they are two redflags stick together, but when they stick together, it turns out to be an unbelievable match.

13 notes · View notes

huraiyra · 6 months

Text

sorry for vent posting guys you can scroll away really fast now. if youre reading this please be advised I am using a metaphor I am fine lol

but damn I do not feel like a person. I've been this way my whole life and as a teen I thought I had dependent personality disorder bc I just wanted others to make every decision for me and I would ask permission to eat or watch TV or use the bathroom even if I didn't NEED TO and people would be like why are you ASKING. and as I grew up I realised that my fear of making the wrong decision and ruining my life for myself was so stupid. I used to think if someone else ruined my life it would be okay bc at least it's not me. and others know best. but a decade later and I feel like a fucking dog being paraded around to show off its obedience and it gets disciplined when it barks and when it makes a decision against its owner it gets its leash tightened tighter and tighter till it feels like it might die. and I can't escape it. my dependence is self imposed but I can't survive on my own and maybe I learned how to think and eat on my own but I fucking suck BUT I'M WILLING TO TRY but there's no way out. I'm stuck here. what am I without my mom to control me. I'm afraid of leaving I love my home I just want to be taken care of but this leash isn't comfortably snug anymore it's starting to hurt. if I stay here there's no way I can fight them. some day they'll hold me down and have me married and then someone else will hold me down and... more imminent, soon I'll be shoeholed into another career that will damage my body again. my mom says the damage is my fault and if I cant do it I'm a worthless idiot who should die bc life is pain and that's final. but today my doctor said there's no reason to treat me for weak legs that can't stand and a brain that's spasming and making me want to off myself if I can just... quit the job that's making my body do that. how revolutionary. I'm crying freaking out bc all my parents tell me is tht theres no way out and I have to work jobs I hate bc work sucks and thats how life is and why did my doctor have to give me hope? but if I'm a dog what decision does the dog have. I don't know how to want. I don't know how to be interested in things. my depression doesn't let me like anything and bc of this I'm being controlled. maybe if I wanted something I could do it but all I want is comfort. as long as I crave only the comfort of my bed and the softness of my mother's arms holding me I have to deal with the leash. it's not a bad deal but by fuck I should not deal with this any longer. I can't force myself to leave bc I'm unemployed and psychotic and living alone—even my brother knows I'd fall into pieces from lack of money and general insanity. what the fuck do I do. I like being a pampered puppy but I'm a human and I need to accept it. no matter how psychotic I am, no matter how I've never believed I am a human, I am. my autism says I'm scared of other people and only my mom halfway gets me and I just want simplicity and depression says stay in bed and my health says I have no future and my psychosis says stay in a small ball or else everything will hurt you and my family says I need to listen to them and life is only pain and I need to embrace pain and shut the fuck up and do whatever they say or else. but I need to survive. I can't keep doing this. what do I do? dog on a leash... I can't make myself cut through it. can someone else do it please? I want a different owner. but I don't think any owner is going to be as comforting as my parents. their (prev physical and lifelong psychological) abuse is mixed with so much love I still doubt it's abuse even though I know. they've loved me as much as they're capable of and they do truly take care of me. I need to be my own owner but how the fuck. every few days I cry and want to die to end all of this bc the worst part is that after I get away from them all my problems will be worse bc I'M the problem and my parents love is the only thing keeping me in one piece. I'm a dependent pampered dog that can't run away and can't handle a leash. I just keep ruminating and ruminating and I can't do anything. what the fuck do I do?

#pipe down moppet #abuse m

7 notes · View notes

bomberqueen17 · 2 years

Text

yet *more* weaving nerdery

So I’m to the point with inkle weaving that I reach on a lot of things, where I understand the technique well enough to just kind of do it, which is good because most of my difficulties lie in attempting to follow patterns. Understanding the principle means that if I thread up my own thing, I’m likely to have it work because I’m not misreading a pattern I’m just doing it so it’ll work. Now, are my patterns as good as those designed by experts? No. But they work. And I’m getting there.

Here’s a thing I’m finding as I web-search for information about inkle weaving specifically: most of the people who write posts and make videos don’t actually know that much about it. Many of the instruction videos are long and rambly and feature the person doing things that even I with my scant experience can tell are inefficient or won’t yield that great a result. So it’s frustrating to have to rely on that for information, and I really should just buy a published book, but also, I struggle with following book instructions. I have one pamphlet printed out from the 40s and it is literally impossible for me to follow-- it’s the one I warped a design from only to realize that they had not explained their method of notation and so I had put in like a hundred white threads that they’d merely meant as spacer blocks in the pattern notation, not white threads at all. Most of their instructions are like “see fig 4″ and then it’s mislabeled which figure you’re actually meant to look at. So anyway.

I’m trying to learn pick-up, now, which is the technique by which you can make finely detailed figures, even letters, but again, the videos on this technique are overly long and not done by experts, and there are some blog posts that are reasonable but I’ve warped up a pattern and realized my threads are so fine it’s nearly impossible to pick them up in the correct order and also I was working in a dim corner last night and so could not see what the fuck I was doing and this was a terrible idea. I’ve done most of my weaving in terrible lighting and it hasn’t mattered, but when you need to look at the threads, and it’s too fucking dark to tell the yellow from the cream border, that’s not a recipe for success. So that’s on hold until the sun comes up at least.

Here are some assorted pics of my most recent weavings, which I’ve done without using a pattern. I need some more colors, is a mild hang-up; I lack cobalt blue, true orange, and of all things black. I mean, I have black in carpet warp but if I’m doing a whole band in crochet thread then it’s too coarse. Except I think it would work for pickup, and meant to try it but I couldn’t find a weaving diagram for that-- the instructions that said use a coarser thread for your design did not have a diagram, so the one I’ve copied uses three threads per block of design and that is obnoxious because I keep losing count. I don’t do counting, you see. And you don’t have to count for this technique, it’s all “next” and “next” and following a grid chart, and I can count “every other” and “first and last” and such, but saying okay pickup one drop one, pickup two drop two, pickup three drop three for every single block? i lose count. (Of course you can’t do all three as a chunk, you must pick up and drop them in order so they stay correctly arranged, and with crochet thread it is far too fine. so this experiment is going to be hell, but i’ve warped it on so sunk cost fallacy means I’m gonna make myself do the whole thing and hate it the whole time.)

so here’s my first self-drafted pattern:

I found out how to make that central chain-- it’s two wavy lines next to one another-- and did that in carpet warp, and the rest is crochet cotton.

Next I did a shades of green one, with a gold dashed line down the middle; I have an idea in mind to use this as trim on a kind of crazy quilt panel, so we’ll see how it does like that.

Experimenting with the visible weft, I rather like it but it’s hard to keep disciplined and make it perfectly even, and you often wind up with two little bits showing, sort of unevenly. So I see why all the directions say use the same color weft as border, but a bit of that is that the people giving the directions are so frequently inexperienced weavers themselves!

Then I warped this one on, and realized at the end that I’d just made stripes and there was going to be no pattern, so like an idiot I added warp threads in the middle which involved taking some of the heddles off and fucking up the tension and spending forever repairing it and I don’t know how in heck I got it all back together but I did, and wove it, and it worked.

(yes this is the very beginning, I was using matches as spacers to stabilize it before I started weaving. Later I switched to using a weft that matched the borders but about half of it is done with purple flecks in the border, I do like the effect.)

And then I did this one, can you see what’s going on with it?

It’d be better if I had black crochet thread instead of that beige I used there, but it was a proof of concept.

Yes-- it’s variegated thread, which I warped on to the number of pegs that meant that the color repeat lined up. So the whole band is a spectrum along its length, as well as across its breadth. This is an idea I’d been wanting to do for a while, and I did see that someone had but now don’t remember where or what technique and can’t find it again. But I was obsessed with the notion of it, and am going to use this as background for like, a bunch more ideas I have for designs.

I think it turned out pretty great! But the beige, eh. Black would work better, and I need some slightly more carefully-chosen colors for the spacer threads. (The threading diagram is pairs of the variegated threads, then a pair of spacers that’s one beige and one of a solid color that matches the vareigated spectrum, though you can see for example that dark red thread is not matchy and rather too bold instead.)

Anyway there’s my weaving update, and i know that looks like I’ve been weaving a lot but actually that’s two weeks of work in one post. It’s not nothing and I’m progressing but man hafving several day jobs is slowing me way down.

#about the author #weaving #fibercrafting #undescribed

63 notes · View notes

undertale-anomaly20 · 8 months

Text

Mortal Kombat 10 x reader: Chapter 3

2 weeks later

"Shit!"

"Watch your tongue!"

"I know you're a ninja and all but this is bull-ow!"

"You will learn to control yourself or die trying"

"In that case I am gonna die!"

Right now master Hasashi, as I am not to call him, has me balancing on one foot at the top of a 5 meter pole while his students at to hit me with pebbles, fuckers are accurate. He said this is to be an anger level test I call it 'hit Viper' so far this has gone on for 10 minutes "I swear to god I will-ow! Ok that's-" "Viper! Keep calm! If I even see one ember you will go without dinner!" I grumble to myself as I try not to flame up 'this sucks. I can take hits, it's when my friends are in danger or have been hurt I lose it' everything was fine, everything was alright I would not break for anything.

Until one of them managed to peg me in the head.

I flame up "that's it!" I yell jumping down from it and watch the students run off "Viper!" I flinch while I de-flame at the sound of my alias name and look to master Hasashi "yes?" "no dinner tonight" I wanted to argue but he warned me. I nod "yes grandmaster" I said bowing then walk away. I walk around the corner and bump into someone "sorry" I said not looking "it's fine, I should have been looking as well" I look to the owner of the voice and see "you are Takahashi Takeda right?" I asked "yeah how did you-" "master Hasashi talks of your progress in becoming chujin often" he smiles then looks at me for a while "what are you looking at?" he snaps out of his trance and blushes "s-sorry it's just you have such beautiful eyes. I've never seen anything like them" I blush a strawberry red that's visible even with my mask "h-how they're just a plain (eye colour)" "actually they're (non eye colour e.g Amber), have you never seen yourself in a mirror" I giggle a little "no not really, you also have lovely eyes" "thanks but I don't know you" "I'm Viper" he chuckled "ok now how about your real name" I frown "I'm sorry but I can't tell you" he looked confused "why not?" "Because I can't, not yet" I try to walk past him but he catches my arm "humour me or at least give me a clue" I sigh and look back to him "I'm not who I appear to be yet I am, I'm younger than the people I once knew even though I should be older, I am the question and answer to Earthrealm" I left as soon as I said those words.

I walked to my quarters which are next to master Hasashis' and collapse on my futon "this sucks" I muttered into my futon. My body ached from the pebbles and bruises already began to form as I was about to rest I heard a knock at the door "unless the temple is under attack go away" I said lifting my head momentarily. I hear the door slide open and closed and felt someone sit on the futon next to me "lady (Name)-" "that's Viper to you, Master Hasashi" I said interrupting him he sighs "I know training with us is painful but how else do you expect to become stronger" "hate to burst your Zen bubble, master, but I trained with Mileena in outworld for a year. I think I know pain" he chuckles "be that as it may you still lack-" "I swear to god you say 'discipline' I will burn you" "no you lack self-control with your fire. You need to control your temper or you will burn those you care about" I had a quick flashback of when I burnt Mileena "I know, I have already" I sit up on my knees and face Master Hasashi "master-" "in private you may call me Hanzo" "Hanzo, I'm worried" he gives me a confused look "about what?" "Last time I was here I done my best to prevent my friends deaths and now that I'm back nothing's changed. What if this time I make things worse?" I said looking down. Hanzo lifts my chin up with his hand "you are (Name) (last name), a pyromancer and a member of the Shirai Ryu, you will not fail you will succeed" he said smiling I nod when he let go of my chin "Hanzo I would like to make a request..." I said looking him in the eye "in 5 years' time I would request that you send me to work for the special forces and not tell them of my true identity, there are things I must prevent from happening" he looked at me for a while "I shall consider your request" I smiled under my mask "thank you" he reached out his hand and placed it on my mask "(Name)" I was surprised this is the first time he ever called me by my name without putting 'lady' before it "if I grant you your request will you return to us, to me?" I blush at his words and as he pulls my mask down "I-" he pulls me in for a hug and holds me "I do not think my heart could bare you staying away. So please return to us" I held him tightly I couldn't just tell him about being Mileena's queen, it would probably break his heart "I will Hanzo I promise" I said as he let me go I see his smiling face which made me smile "thank you *pulls my mask back up* Viper" he stands and then leaves.

I was about to lay down when another knock on the door was heard "come in" I called out making sure my mask was on when Takeda walked in "hey" he said sitting down "hey" I replied smiling "you and master Hasashi seem really close" I chuckle "you could say that, we have known each other for a long time" "how long?" "Since the last mortal kombat tournament" he looked shocked "but that was over 20 years ago! How old are you?" "I know and I'm 21" "I don't understand" "you will one day, Takeda" for a few moments we were silent "so um...if you don't mind maybe you and I could hang out some time?" I blushed looking at him "I um...I guess that would be ok but do you have time during your training?" he smiles "I should but not until next month, that's when my test to decide whether I become chujin or not is" I place a hand on his shoulder "I believe in you, you will succeed" he smiles happily "right but I need to know what you're doing here? Not that I'm unhappy meeting you but up until 2 weeks ago I've never heard of you" I start to undo my hair "ever heard of Mileena?" "Of course! She was the Queen of outworld" "no she was the King of outworld" "but I thought she would have been the queen" "no she preferred king, besides she already had a queen" "oh yeah who?" "No one's sure. Not many people got to see the queen and only knew that Mileena loved to call her pretty bird" he nods "so you're from outworld?" he asked "that's right"

"So why are you here?" "Master Hasashi is training me to control my rage or to be specific" I light my hand on fire startling him "my fire" he looked at it in awe "wow, so you're a pyromancer like the grandmaster?" "more or less, he uses hell fire I use regular fire" I make the flames disappear and run my fingers through my hair and feel Takeda hold some of it "*chuckles* you like my hair?" he quickly drops it and blushes looking away "s-sorry! It's just...your hair is so long it reminds me of my mothers' and how I used to play with it as a child before she died" my smile drops instantly and sit closer to him then hug him, I feel him become stiff under my touch "I can understand how you must feel. I lost many friends and relatives at a young age. At age 4 I lost my grandmother, age 8 I lost my father, then I lost my grandfather and aunt at age 15 and finally at age 18 I lost 3 people I grew some-what close to" I smiled as I felt him hug me back "t-thanks" he stuttered. I let him go allowing him to stand up "I um should probably go and if you need help training I'd be more than happy to assist you" he said "that's sounds nice I'd appreciate" I yawned laying down he nods and leaves as I fall asleep.

1 month later

3rd P.O.V

the abandoned city previously seen in Chapter 1. Takeda walks through the devastated remains of the once vibrant metropolis, outfitted in the yellow garb of the Shirai Ryu. He warily scans his surroundings, but there are no signs of life throughout the entire urban wasteland. He approaches the edge of a building, taking cover next to it. As he peeks around the corner, a chained kunai impales itself into the concrete inches from his head. Hanzo Hasashi pulls his weapon back into his grasp. Takeda charges at him with a scissors kick, but the two strikes are blocked easily by Scorpion. He throws several more kicks, but Hanzo evades them all. The former wraith goes on the offensive with several punches, two of which Takeda isn't quick enough to block. He takes them full in the face. Takeda rallies and jumps into a spin kick. Hanzo avoids the kick, but Takeda grabs one of his holstered swords from his back. It takes the Shirai Ryu master a few moments - and a double take - before he realises what Takeda did. When he does, he pulls out the other sword and readies himself.

The two ninjas engage in a swordfight, each parrying the other's swipes at lightning quick speed. After Hanzo dodges a swipe at his waist, Takeda throws his sword directly at his master's sword-hand. Scorpion blocks the attack and sends the stolen sword soaring skywards, but that gives Takeda the opening to charge forward and jump-kick his master square in the face. Hasashi falls down hard, and Takahashi catches the falling sword. He swings it downward, but stops it an inch from his master's neck. For a moment he does nothing but give his mentor a knowing look "Yield" says Takeda looking down on his master. Hanzo flashes a brief smile "Well done" Hanzo says congratulating Takeda. He lightly pushes the sword away and offers his hand. Takeda accepts it and pulls him to his feet "You are now Chujin" He places a hand on his chest and bows. Takeda bows in response and offers him back his sword "You honour me, Master Hasashi" clapping is heard in the distance. They turn their heads to see 'Viper' walking towards them "nice job, Takeda. I knew you could do it" she said smiling under her mask Takeda blushes a little at her compliment then turns back to Hanzo giving him back the blade "Now that I'm Chujin, how will I serve the clan?" "Your future does not lie with the Shirai Ryu" Takeda looked to Viper for an answer but received a shrug "But... the clan's my family" Hanzo turns away, but continues speaking "When I took you in, I promised your father—" "I don't have a father" Takeda says interrupting Hanzo.

"Yes you do. One who's proud of you. A Chujin in record time" The blind swordsman bows to Takeda, but the younger man looks furious rather than happy "You knew he was coming? You said nothing?!" Takeda asked Hanzo and Viper furious "Knowing this would be your reaction, yes" Hanzo replies, Takeda turns to Viper "and you?" he asked "no" she replied shaking her head. Takeda moves forward, ready to attack his father "Takeda! Your father is not your enemy" Hanzo warns him but the younger Takahashi remains unconvinced, and he addresses the elder Takahashi directly "Ten years. No visits, nothing. You abandoned me" "I did not abandon you—" "I was eight! My mother had just died! NOW you come back? Think you can jump right in as the proud dad?" "Son, I—" He tries to touch Takeda's shoulder, but finds his hand angrily slapped away "To hell with you! I am not your son!"

They fight. Reluctant to fight his own flesh and blood, Kenshi is soon at the disadvantage against the newly minted Chujin. After a brief melee, he is soon down on the ground thanks to his son "Now get up! I wanna knock you down again!" Takeda says as Kenshi is rising, Takeda moves in to strike him again when Viper placed a hand on his shoulder "Takeda, your father didn't abandon you" she said making Takeda turn to her "then what do you call leaving me here after my mother dies?" he growled "I call it protecting you from your mothers murderers" "She... she died in an accident!" "That is the story I asked Master Hasashi to tell you" Kenshi said as he stands to his feet "But in truth, your mother was killed by Red Dragon assassins. I was the target. Suchin was the victim" Takeda growls in fury and lunges forward, grabbing Kenshi by his outfit "Son of a bitch! It was your fault!" He makes no move to strike him, though. Viper gently removes his hands and moving him a few feet away from his father while still holding his hands "Takeda. Takeda look at me" Viper says getting Takeda to look at her and letting go of his hands "think about it, if he had told you the truth you would have went after them un-prepared and would have been killed. Kenshi would have been crushed enough as it is by your mother's death had you died as well he would have probably lost the strength to move on. He has devoted his life and time to fighting monsters like the red dragon they are at fault here not him" Takeda seemed to calm down at her words and Takeda says nothing, but slowly processes the information he's being told "Master Hasashi has perfected your fighting skills" Kenshi said.

His next words echo in Takeda's head, rather than being spoken aloud "(Telepathically) Now it is time to complete your training" Takeda instinctively puts his hand to his head, in the stance he will later adopt when putting his own telepathic skills to use "How—how did you do that?" "(Telepathically) we are telepaths. A family gift" "I can read minds?" "(Telepathically) through training, we will determine your full abilities" He reverts to speaking his next words "And then we will hunt down the Red Dragon. Together" He puts a hand on Takeda's shoulder. This time it is not slapped away. Viper looks to Hanzo and smiles as he does the same to her, Kenshi walks up to viper and bows "(telepathically) it is not wise to hide you're true identity, lady (Name), you must tell your friends you are alive at some point" Vipers eyes widen slightly hearing Kenshi's voice and tested to see if she could send a message back "(telepathically) I know, I will reveal myself when the time is right but for now I shall be known as viper" Kenshi smiles "until we meet again, master Hanzo, Viper" Kenshi said bowing then walks away ushering Takeda to follow, Takeda turns to Viper "(telepathically) but I don't want to leave her" Viper could tell that Takeda wanted to stay but she thought it was because the Shirai Ryu became his home. She nodded to him with a look in her eyes telling him to go. He smiles and walks beside his father.

Viper breathes a sigh of relief "now he can begin" she said looking to Hanzo "yes, and now you begin your training to control the movement of your fire" she nods and prepare to train.

5 years later

A fire ball twirls in the sky around the temple creating a fire halo around it "HEADMISTRESS VIPER! THE GRANDMASTER WISHES TO SEE YOU!" one of the students shouted causing the fire ball to descend to the ground. Just before it hit the ground it stopped and began to shrink until it formed into ,a slightly older, (Name), her body held a few scars including one across her cheek which was light and almost unnoticable others were on her arms and some on her back both from her training with Mileena and training with Hanzo. she nods to the student and walks to Hanzos' chambers "Master Hasashi?" she called out "you may enter, mistress Viper" she heard him reply. She enters the room and kneels before him "you summoned me, master?" "The time has come for you to leave" Viper was confused "you requested, 5 years ago, that I let you join the Special forces. I have talked to general Blade about it and she has allowed me to send you. Do not worry she only knows of your alias name" (Name)s' eyes widen "I-I didn't think I would leave this early in the year. Thank you master" she bows to him when a hand under her chin brings her up to look at Hanzo "as much as it pains me to see you leave I trust you shall return?" (Name) smiled and placed a hand on Hanzos' cheek "I will, I promised didn't I?" she chuckled. Hanzo looked deep into (Name)s' (hair colour) eyes and placed his hands upon her cheeks "(Name)" he whispered as he leaned in just as their lips were about to connect they were interrupted by a knock at the door making them quickly jump apart. "Master Hasashi, General Blade is here for mistress Viper" the voice said behind the door. (Name) looked to Hanzo as they both stood and walked out to the courtyard where Sonya blade was waiting in front of a black portal outlined with a vibrant purple glow. (Name)s' eyes widen slightly at the sight of the slightly older looking Sonya. Once (Name) and Hanzo are before Sonya they bow "General blade, I present to you my strongest kunoich, Viper. I believe she'll be a valuable asset to your unit" Hanzo said as he and (Name) rise up.

Sonya looked (Name) over and nodded "welcome the SF Viper, I'm general Sonya blade" Sonya said holding a hand out to shake, (Name) looked at it then back to Sonya and grabbed her hand and shook it then let go "you are to be assigned to my team of the next generation unit is that clear?" Sonya asked (Name) nodded causing Sonya to look at Hanzo "can she talk?" she asked "she can but only when around people she feels...comfortable with" he replied. Sonya looked back to (Name) "alright, follow me. I'll show you the people you'll be working with" and with that they begin walking to the portal before (Name) even set foot through it she looked back at Hanzo and smiled then walked through the portal leading to the SF base.

The scene cuts to Team S-F's plane touching down at a refugee camp policed by the Special Forces. The blind swordsman Kenshi - aged and greying as well - walks over to the plane. The scene cuts to a few minutes later, after Johnny and Team S-F have disembarked from the plane "So when did they show up?" Johnny asked Kenshi "The portal opened by the docks a few hours ago. Nearly five thousand in all. Refugees from the Outworld civil war" Kenshi replied "Must be bad if they risked coming to Earthrealm" Kenshi turns to Kung Jin "After you" As Jin, Cassie, Jacqui and Johnny all walk into one of the command tents, Kenshi stops Takeda and puts a hand on his shoulder "(Telepathically) Do not dwell on your encounter with the Lin Kuei, son" Kenshi said in Takedas' mind, Takeda sighs out loud "(Telepathically) Kinda hard not to"

They both walk into the command tent. Amidst all of the Special Forces soldiers at various monitors, Raiden stands over a beautiful young woman, who despite looking vaguely Asian is no doubt from Outworld. She is seated and nursing a hot drink as Kenshi and Takeda walk over. General Sonya Blade - looking startlingly young for almost fifty - turns when she sees them approaching. Then the four took notice of the unfamiliar girl "general Blade who is that?" Cassie asked causing the girl to turn to them. Her eyes widen and she smiles Takeda quickly gets over his shock and engulfs her in a hug smiling "Viper it's been forever!" he said happily and blushing "hey Takeda. I missed you too" (Name) replied, in the background Sonya and Johnnys' eyes widen at the familiar voice 'no it couldn't be' Sonya thought 'impossible' Johnny shook his head thinking it was just a coincidence. The two of them separate as Kung Jin smiles "nice to see you again, Viper" he said as he received a hug from (Name) "you too, Jin" she replied letting go and turning back to Raiden.

"Thanks, Kenshi. Could you and Mister Cage join us?" Sonya said as she perches on the side of a nearby table near the woman. Cassie begins to walk over as well, and Sonya addresses her while barely looking in her direction "Sergeant Cage, you and your team as you were" She turns away. Cassie is clearly annoyed by this, and shares a glance with her father. At his silent request, she does as she's told 'Sonya, you're attitude is even colder that last time' (Name) thought sadly as she stood between Kung Jin and Takeda "This is Li Mei. She seeks asylum for her people in Earthrealm" Raiden said looking to Lie Mei "Our village, Sun Do, was the epicentre of a fierce battle. We barely escaped with our lives" she said sadly "Such is war" Johnny said. A moment of silence passes "I mean, no offense, but... you Outworlders kinda live for that, right?" Johnny said trying to fix his mistake "This was different. The rebels, Mileena, had a weapon unlike anything... Entire battalions, erased. It was not honourable. Not kombat" (Name) perked up at the mention of Mileena catching the attention of Cassie "Tell me more about the weapon" Raiden requested "A talisman. Gold, with a centre jewel. Mileena wields it's crimson energy without precision" "Well, that's good then—" "Not now, Sergeant Cage" Sonya interrupted making Cassie look downcast as Li Mei continues "It is enough that she possesses it. It turns the tide in her favour. The emperor grows desperate. And those caught in the middle... pay the price" "If this talisman is what I suspect it to be, we may all pay a price" Raiden says grimly "We talking about Shinnok's Amulet?" Kung Jin asked, Sonya looked to Raiden "Can't be. The base, the vault, your warding's? S-F, Shaolin, no way anyone can get past all that" (Name) decided to speak up "actually there is"

All the attention was on her now Sonya crossed her arms in interest "really? How exactly could anyone get in an out?" "I know much of Outworld and Mileena, she has the Tarkatans on her side as well as two edenians one with the ability to use fire similar to mine named Tanya and the demigod, the son of Argus, Rain, who has the ability to control water and turn into it. The only way for them to take the amulet would be for Rain to use his abilities to sneak in and switch out the real amulet for a fake one or simply a hired man who is exrtemly talented and has had a lot of experience" Raiden nods "I must be certain" He leaves the tent. Johnny breaks the silence "Well, this is cozy" Johnny said trying to lighten the mood. Sonya says nothing, but glares at him with an annoyed expression. Li Mei notices the tension between them and tries to cool it off and turns to Johnny "You remind me of an Earthrealmer who crossed over with us. He also found humour in everything" she said "Handsome guy, right?" Johnnys' joke is seemingly lost on Li Mei "He was an Earthrealmer. One of his eyes... glowed red" At this, Johnny and Sonya realise exactly who she means "Who does she mean?" Kung Jin asked Jacqui earning a shrug in response while Viper quietly growled at the mention of the red eyed bastard "Kenshi, continue with Li Mei. I'm going to the refugee camp. Gotta get to him before he finds a way out" Sonya says as she starts walking outside. Johnny falls in with her "I'll come with" Sonya stops at once and addresses Johnny directly "Go get an update on camp security from Colonel Flagg "Why?" "Because then you won't be here"

Cassie looks more outraged than her father does and starts forward. Johnny motions for her to stand down and then leaves the tent without another word. Sonya watches him as he leaves, and doesn't look away until Cassie addresses her "Are we with you?" "No*turns to Cassie* I need to confirm with Kotal Kahn that Li Mei's story is true. You and your team are going to Outworld. Viper" (Name) looks directly at Sonya "keep them safe" (Name) bows with her right hand over her heart "yes, General Blade" she replied. Sonya turns around and leaves the tent without another word. Cassie walks up to (Name) "why did she ask you to keep us safe? We can handle ourselves" (Name) nodded "I know that very well miss Cage but-" "please just call me Cassie" "alright then Cassie, she asked me to keep you safe because I lived in Outworld for a year there for I know their rules and how they work...to an extent due to the fact that I left the day Mileena was wrongfully overthrown by Kotal Khan" the four were surprised by this new information "alright then, we'll leave inthe morning"

that night as (Name) sleeps her dreams take her to a strange place. she finds herself floating in a sea of stars she looked around herself to find the elder gods surrounding her. she raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms "you guys really know how to fuck someone over. you know that right?" she asked annoyed "speak with respect child" they scolded gaining her to raise her hands in defense "alright shees can't take a joke. but in all seriousness you have to understand where I'm coming from. after two years from, my perspective, you decided to bring me back here not that I'm unhappy about it honestly i love these guys they're my friends but you know how this will play out that things will turn out well in the end so help me understand why i'm here?" for a few moments it was silent

#mortal kombat 10 #reptile mk #mkx #mileena #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat x

10 notes · View notes

bettsfic · 1 month

Note

Hi I’m the anon who sent you a message about powering through a draft.I just wanted to clarify a bit and let you know that I appreciate your kindness on this matter.

To answer some of your questions I do like parts of the writing process. I love writing all together as an art form. I love picking at hood prose analyzing work and I love when a poem I made surprises me by being able to be understood by others and be decently okay. But due to a lot of self doubt recently, my passion has dwindled and I made this writing goal before that happened. I’d hate to never write a novel as it has been my dream for years, which is why I’m trying to just be disciplined with it and ignore my negative feelings about how lacking my drafts or ideas are with the hope of revisions making me feel like I have some control. Does that make sense?

But I totally understand when you talk about internal motivation and external motivation. I haven’t been sharing my work much recently or letting people know that I’m trying to write. Maybe having someone hold me accountable can be motivating. It’s just kind of scary to put yourself out there.

Overall, thank you for taking the time to reply to me.

that *does* make sense, and thank you for clarifying. in my experience, ignoring negative feelings tends to make them worse, especially in writing. i also feel like if you ignore them long enough, like with any injury, it can cause lasting damage. it's hard, but if you can address or confront negative feelings--or even if you use the writing itself to process or sublimate the negative feelings--you'll be better for it in the long run.

i'm sorry you're going through this, and i hope things get better for you soon.

#writing advice

2 notes · View notes

fruit-sy · 2 years

Text

OMORI SPOILERS

Song : "【Omori Song】 Endless by @OR3O ft. @Kuraiinu"

YT link : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVBbnJZjJ3s

Spotify link : https://open.spotify.com/user/khfje5c59z3ip8hq65302fqy8

Original game : "OMORI" by OMOCAT https://store.steampowered.com/app/1150690/OMORI/

Level editor from "Rhythm Doctor" by 7th Beat Games

https://store.steampowered.com/app/774181/Rhythm_Doctor/

None of the images used for backgrounds are mine (Except for that Blackspace image). Characters are from the game "OMORI", and their sprites in this level are made by me.

Under the cut is just my ramblings in the making of this WIP (Warning : LONG and rambly lol)

A project I hyperfixated on for a week before I dropped it and came back months later having no clue what I just did in the "coding" aspects of it lmao

I dropped it due to the fear of legal issues regarding the use of assets of the game/screenshots as the BG (I asked someone about it, and they said I should avoid using assets directly for the game and I backed off. Well, I still used the Otherworld sky and the Sunny's room, but I'm not distributing the level nor am I profiting off of it)

The Rhythm doctor community is one of the nicest, most welcoming community I've seen, and I honestly respect the amount of discipline it comes with custom levels and the permissions side of things. It takes a lot to get your work recognized somewhat in the non official custom levels community, and from what I saw in their discord, the quality control is pretty good.

This however *chuckles*... is probably not going to be on par, and won't be for a long time. I'm not sure if I'm even cuing things correctly, (People were appalled at one part of the beats I put lmao, I figured a lot of my other beats were probably "illegal" (meaning bad/unfair or not very fun to play) but I was too much of a wuss to ask for more feedback ;_;)

To make a decent level takes a lot of practice, and also decent knowledge of rhythm games and how Rhythm Doctor works as a game. But, as you've heard a million times, I had fun in my high.

Doing the sprites were pretty fun! Well, fun in the beginning when I thought about making this AwEsOmE level, fun in the end as I looked at the work I did, but absolutely hair pulling when I was actually doing it lmao.

The official guide was lacking in resources I needed to pump out these custom character sprites (I attempted to look into trying to code them in manually, matching it with the one on the guide, but as you may have guessed, I never got too far lol). The RD discord is a saint and sent a link to a convenient .json maker and many hours were spent on me messing up the sprite placement, constant revisioning of sprites because I missed a pixel or two like a dumbass, or I had a spontaneous idea and wanted to do some funky things with the sprites.

I used Aseprite's lite version and had to do some bizarre things to get around their "no export" limitations before I learned there was a way to make a free version of it.. somehow. Someone once again on Discord gave me a pretty in depth guide, but I've long since logged back on Discord again and it's probably burried under thousands of messages now. Thanks anyways guy.

Lore notes :

For any of you who's concerned as to why Omori is smiling, it's because I had a headcanon at the time that Omori was originally some sort of self insert/Mary sue character. Sunny hated his own identity, but he still wanted to escape back to his friends again, just with a different name, appearance, and personality.

Omori, Sunny's new identity felt elated at first in the dreamworld. But maybe Sunny regularly experienced breaches of Blackspace more often and was sometimes even stuck in it. He became more jaded as time went on, as more loops happened. He found that the best way he found to numb the pain was just burying it. Not acknowledging the darker parts of his mind when it's all locked away somewhere far away. Omori then sort of evolved as a concept, and what was once under Sunny's control turned into an uncontrollable impulse/habit to run away and bury his problems.

Why did Omori stab himself in the fear sequence and not in White Space? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I couldn't think of a better transition lol

Anyways, I was in love with Rhythm Doctor, both in its story and gameplay, and I was kinda obsessed with Omori too, so I attempted to mash 'em together and called it a day. It's got a lot of flaws, you might think it was a random as hell crossover (on brand as always lmao). Dunno if I'll ever pick it up again, but I think it's still an entertaining watch 👀

#omori #rhythm doctor #omori kel #omori aubrey #omori hero #omori mari #omori sunny #omori fanart #abandoned lol #but I'm still really proud of what I created #especially since I looked at my spaghetti code months later and wondered how tf did I make this work?

56 notes · View notes

princesssarisa · 2 years

Text

Character ask: Mulan (Disney)

Tagged by @artemideaddams.

Original animated film only – I haven't even seen Mulan II or the live-action remake.

Favorite thing about them: How to choose just one thing? She's one of Disney's greatest heroines. So relatable and funny yet poignant in her initial bumbling and her failure to conform to her society's expectations, yet so clever and resourceful from the start, and so incredibly brave and selfless as she risks death both in battle and by execution in becoming a soldier to save her father's life. She's a great warrior, yet achieves more with her brain than with physical fighting skills, and far from needing to act like a man to become a hero (the message which some ignorant people accuse the film of sending), she saves China by being her true non-conforming self, combining "masculinity" with "femininity," and outwitting the villains with her outside-the-box thinking. Her journey of self-actualization is empowering in so many ways.

Least favorite thing about them: Her flaws are almost too relatable. Especially when people write about the movie and point out how her initial failures both at the matchmaker's and in the army are more her own fault than anyone else's: "Her main problem is that she lacks discipline, which her army training corrects." When they point that out, the messages I feel tempted to take away are (a) that people who are awkward and disorganized and who fail to conform just aren't trying hard enough, and (b) that to cure myself of those flaws, I should be as hard on myself as Shang is on his trainees. I don't think the filmmakers intended those messages, though.

Three things I have in common with them:

*I tend to be disorganized and bad at time management.

*I'm neither a total tomboy nor especially girly.

*I love my family.

Three things I don't have in common with them:

*I've never been a soldier.

*I've never disguised myself as a man (except when I sometimes played male roles in my childhood acting group).

*I'm not Chinese.

Favorite line:

When she first meets Mushu:

"My ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?"

When Shang asks her name when she's in disguise:

"Uhhh... I've got a name... and it's a boys' name too."

When she's been left behind in the mountains:

"Maybe I didn't go for my father. Maybe what I really wanted was to prove I could do things right, so when I looked in the mirror, I'd see someone worthwhile. But I was wrong. I see nothing."

When Shang dismisses her:

"You said you'd trust Ping. Why is Mulan any different?"

When Shan Yu accuses Shang of taking away his victory:

"No, I did!"

brOTP: Mushu, Yao, Ling, Chien-Po, and her family, especially her father.

OTP: Shang, though I'm glad it's only hinted at in the end – they need more time to get to know each other outside of the army.

nOTP: Her father, the Emperor, or Shan Yu.

Random headcanon: She has ADHD. That would explain so much about her.

Unpopular opinion: Both "Mulan Is Not Like Other Girls" and "Mulan Is Just Like Other Girls" are flawed perspectives. Fans who view her a completely masculine warrior who hates anything girly are wrong, but so are fans who argue against that idea by claiming that she's actually very feminine and likes fancy dress and being ladylike. Really, I'd say that her core personality is gender neutral. It's true that she tries to fit the mold of a traditional Chinese lady for her family's sake, and that fact does make her more interesting than if she had been yet another rebellious heroine. But it's not just nervousness or lack of discipline that make her fail. She genuinely doesn't like it (just look at her face when she sees herself dolled up for the matchmaker in the mirror) and knows it isn't her true self. In the end, it's by being her true self and combining both "masculine" and "feminine" methods – and above all, non-gendered cunning and creative thinking – that she defeats Shan Yu. This is exemplified when she uses a ladies' fan to block his sword, and then uses kung fu and swordplay to pin him to the roof so Mushu can blast him to death with a rocket.

Song I associate with them: "Reflection"

youtube

Favorite pictures of them:

#character ask #disney #mulan #1998 #ask game #fictional characters #animated film

24 notes · View notes

warwickroyals · 2 years

Text

CHAPTER XLVIII: HARSH TRUTHS

Beginning | Previous | Next

Transcript under the cut - Click for HQ photos

AUTHOR’S NOTE: I hate writing Louis's scenes! He's so hard to write. Doesn't help that he's basically gaslighting Phillip here

All likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Thank you for the support 💜

[LOUIS] While I admire your conviction, my decision is final. The boy needs order and discipline, two

things he’s evidently been lacking for years. Despite whatever it is he might think, I’m doing what’s best for him. He’ll get leave and holidays, I’m not permanently separating him from his child or her. My only regret is not acting sooner.

[LOUIS] You’re still here.

[PHILLIP] We need to talk about James.

[LOUIS] Why?

[PHILLIP] You know why.

[LOUIS] You may take a seat, Phillip.

[PHILLIP] I’d rather stand.

[PHILLIP] I had the most interesting conversation with Tatiana yesterday.

[LOUIS] I assume this is about why certain members of this family don’t know the true circumstances of James’s passing.

[PHILLIP] Certain members. I’m talking about his own children. And mine too, by the way, which—Thanks for that.

[LOUIS] None of my grandchildren know currently, nor will they ever know. The public narrative has proved sufficient.

[PHILLIP] I don’t care about whatever bullshit narrative you fed the public to protect your ego. I want to know the truth.

[LOUIS] It’s not about my image. You’re upset, I know James’s suicide left a mark on you in particular, but you have to understand: James spent most of his life hiding whatever it was that was tormenting him. He hid it flawlessly from the public, he hid it from his family semi-successfully, and when I realized that he could no longer go on hiding that side of him, he took his own life. I’ve probably taken years and years off my own life wondering why he did what or if it could have been prevented, but I still can’t make sense of it. In some ways, James’s tournament has become my own.

[LOUIS] If I can’t make sense of it, or even cope with this . . . horrible tragedy, what makes you think that a twenty-year-old child will? If Nicholas and Alexander knew the truth, everything they thought their father to be would be destroyed, it would be like killing him all over again. Especially for Nicholas, he wouldn’t know how to process that and remain. . . sane.

[PHILLIP] It’s not our right to hide this from them . . . I don’t know how to even explain this because you’re not going to listen.

[LOUIS] Whether you’re here for it or not, they will find out the truth and hate you for it. I don’t think you’re protecting anyone, you’re just preventing your grandchildren from properly grieving their father.

Do you honestly think their grief would have been easier to process had they known? Don’t be ridiculous, it would give them no comfort to know that their father shot himself in a drunken haze. How do you make sense of that? How can you rationalize—

[PHILLIP] Rationalize? How could you not rationalize any of this!? It’s the logical conclusion to what this family does to you!

[PHILLIP] Everyone here is either miserable or gone. This family sucks the life out of you until you’re just a shell and then . . . and then it goes on. God help you if you have anything resembling human emotions once you’re in. You’ll be spat on, and laughed at, and profited off of, and harassed, and made to loathe every painful, hellish moment of your life.

[LOUIS] Of course you would find it reasonable, Phillip, you have a bent for self-destruction.

[PHILLIP] Don’t you dare do this shit to me! You’re not going to cast me as an over-emotional crazy this time. I’m trying to get better, I’m inching myself forward, I’m trying to protect the people I care about. I might not be a good person, but at least I’m better than you, I haven’t spent the past fifty years never facing the consequences of my actions.

[LOUIS] Oh, so you’re a reformed man now? Explain to me how gallivanting across the southern coast with a woman almost eleven years your junior is helping you inch forward. You’ve been saying “I’m trying” for your entire life, Phillip. You’re in no position to grandstand—

[IRENE] That’s enough, Louis.

[PHILLIP] Mama, you knew about this, too. You kept this from me.

[IRENE] Darling, you need to understand that we’re doing none of this out of malice. We only want to protect the children. You most of all have suffered terribly after James’s passing. You relapsed. Your marriage fell apart. Honestly, Phillip, what concerns me is your eagerness to have your own nephews join you in that suffering.

[PHILLIP] I get it. I really do, you two are in denial, but this is craziness.

[IRENE] When you were a baby, James was terribly jealous. He cried incessantly; the nannies told me he’d pinch you when they weren’t looking— [PHILLIP] Mom, stop—But the older you got, the sicker you grew with depression and anxiety, the more terrified James grew that something horrible would happen to you. He wanted so badly to protect you, and seeing you in pain hurt him more than he was willing to admit. Phillip, you knew this. Sometimes harsh realities do more harm than good.

[PHILLIP] You resent me. Both of you. You hate the fact that I’m still here and James isn’t.

[IRENE] Of course not. I love all my boys, but right now, you’re holding us back.

[PHILLIP] I’m holding you back by being honest?

[LOUIS] Look around, Phillip. It’s a truth no one wants to hear.

35 notes · View notes