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thebeesatemyknees · 7 months

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141 as ex-husbands

Some ex-husband (ooc) Simon Ghost Riley, John Price, Kyle Gaz Garrick and Johnny Soap MacTavish x reader headcanons.

Word count: 860 || No warnings (let me know if any). || Reader: gender neutral. Pronouns: "you"

Note: In all four scenarios, you got divorced for fairly harmless reasons. You were getting along, you loved each other, there was no fighting. But perhaps you realised that you both have different hopes for the future. Maybe you got sick of waiting for him, missing him, of worrying if he's gonna come home alive and in one piece. Maybe he didn't realise how lonely you felt beside him.

Ex-husband Simon Riley, who still thinks of you as "his", but not in a possessive way. You're still his person, his family. He still would do anything for you and wouldn't even give it a second thought.

You need help assembling new furniture? He can come by after work. Need a ride to the doctor's appointment? He needed to run some errands anyway, it's not a big deal. Anything happens while he's deployed? You can call his base and he'll contact you as soon as possible.

And he doesn't expect anything back. How could he? He's gonna do anything for you because that's what you're supposed to do for your people. And he'll give you your space, keep it clean between you. You wanted a divorce and he respects that, doing his best not to overstep any boundaries. He's mindful of the things he says, keeps his hands away from you. A respectful distance.

But God, does he miss you. If you showed the slightest interest in getting back together, he would agree immediately, going back to what you two had, as if the divorce never happened.

Ex-husband John Price, who kinda forgets that you're not married anymore. Similar to Simon, John still thinks of you as his and would do anything for you without expecting anything back.

But you often have to remind him that he's overstepping. "Darling" or "love" casually added to his sentences. Hands gently holding your shoulders or hips while he directs you to move to a different spot. He doesn't do it on purpose. The last thing he'd want is to disrespect your boundaries or make you uncomfortable. But keeping you close just comes so naturally to him.

He apologises quietly when you reprimand him, pulling his hands away and restating what he said without the pet name this time.

He wouldn't beg you to give him another chance. He's got enough respect, towards you and himself, to not be dramatic, to not make it messy. But he has a hard time accepting this new reality.

Ex-husband Kyle Garrick, who subconsciously goes back to courting you, as if your marriage never happened and all of it was still ahead of you.

He's more distant, doesn't initiate touches, doesn't use pet names anymore. And at first you think it's because that's just how break-ups work, because he'd moved on. But it all seems to be caused by him suddenly becoming almost shy around you.

He sends you messages from time to time, checking if you're doing alright. He asks you out for coffee, just to catch up. You ended things on good terms, so there's no harm in it, right? And you can see him trying to act casually about it. He brings you one singular flower he picked on his way to the café. Cuz you like them, don't you? It's not a big deal, he saw it and put it in the pocket of his jacket. So casual. Then, your conversation stays on a purely platonic path. Well, except for a few compliments and pick up lines he throws your way. But that's what friends do! And if you don't let him drive you home, he asks you to at least text him to let him know you got back safely.

If you confront him about his behaviour, he gets quiet. His jaw twitches, a shameful look fills his eyes as he looks away, unable to fully face you. He doesn't feel like he's in the position to defend himself, to argue. He's guilty. He wants you back for himself. And he so badly regrets letting you go without trying harder to fix things.

Ex-husband Johnny MacTavish, who becomes bitter towards the whole world. He's not happy about losing you and he's straightforward about it. He's hurt, filled with regrets, he's angry - but not directly at you. He understands and respects your wishes, but he's just so angry with himself. Angry that he didn't notice where your marriage was going, that he didn't change his ways, that he assumed that you're his and therefore he's got a lot of time to slowly fix things. Angry that he didn't do enough.

He wouldn't hide his emotions. He wouldn't get shy, wouldn't just quietly yearn for you.

He keeps his hands to himself, making sure he doesn't make you uncomfortable and that you still feel safe around him. But he continuously asks you for another chance. He knows better now. He can be better. Just give him a chance. Or at least let him do this or that for you. And don't act as if him helping you is weird! He's yours, nothing will change that. He promised he'd be there in sickness and in health, and he meant it. No matter how much your life-paths split. So stop pushing him away and just let him help. He'll stop asking you for a second chance, but at least let him be there for you.

He aggressively offers himself to you. Getting upset and moody if you act as if he was more akin to a stranger rather than someone who belonged, body and soul, to you.

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zarnzarn · 8 months

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i see all these comments talking about this after the new episode, but. i would like to state for the record that stolitz isn't. toxic.

first off, the concept of a toxic and a healthy relationship are such... vague terms. when you're online, drenched in language and tight moral boundaries, trying to put a nuanced story like helluva boss's into boxes is easy to attempt and impossible to do.

a toxic relationship is one where one or both parties is maliciously affecting the other. I'm talking fetid, nasty, rude interactions where there is more hurt than love. they're unhappy more often than not when they're with their partner, there's no respect or give from the other side.

stolitz is nothing like that.

Stolas actively cares about Blitz and actually has no fear or hesitation in ADMITTING IT OUT LOUD TO OZZIE. he has been calling, texting, commenting, laughing and finding ways to spend time with Blitz. he's throwing everything he has to the wind, finding the courage to move forward with the divorce, putting everything he has into trying to keep him. he's been alone in a palace since he was born, on medication, with such less people dear to him that he remembered the circus boy who spent a day with him DECADES ago- so when blitz comes into his life and brings back in laughter and color and sex, he's holding on with everything he's got.

and blitz does care!!! he cares a LOT, the whole series we see him falling in love with stolas through SHOW NOT TELL (his expressions, his choices, his fear, his lashing out) and utterly unable to process that stolas cares about him too when talking to fizz; almost a desperate kind of denial-

cause yknow. the first time he tried to confess something to someone he really liked, he accidentally killed half the people he knew and ruined the lives of the rest?

thats gonna leave just a teensy impact on the will to express your emotions in the future, methinks.

even before that, he clearly felt like on some level that he was unworthy and he's said twice that he despises himself for the accident even though it wasn't actually his fault. being self aware doesn't stop the emotions from emotioning.

he keeps insisting its only sex so urgently to anyone who doesn't ask because he can't even imagine it being anything else. he's both disappointed and relieved when he repeats that stolas sees him as a novelty, because what else can it be?

(there's a whole other spiel of how brave both Stolas and Blitz have to be to say it out loud even when asmodeus can't afford to, considering how publically and completely beaten down both were at the club.)

(there's also another whole spiel about how frustrating it has been for ME to see all these comments over time with such bad takes based on like,, 20 min worth of info of a show that takes months to release an ep. like godDAMN have some patience?? let the story UNFOLD MAYBE? IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE AN EXPLANATION WHY WOULD YOU CRITICIZE THINGS THAT ARENT EVEN FINISHED ESPECIALLY AN INDIE ANIMATION- i digress)

mind you, this has NOTHING to do with abuse. an abusive relationship is one where one is actively harming the other with full awareness. Stella is an abuser and their marriage is abusive.

and stolitz isn't that; it isn't even unhealthy or toxic. it's a consensual, transactional fuckbuddy relationship that slid into something more for both of them.

but!!!!! one of the main reasons for the problems that everyone looks over is-

they're in a BDSM relationship.

I can't possibly delve into dynamics without making this a 10k research paper BUT even though we've gotten only hints and costumes and dialogue- they're very clearly and undeniably in a BDSM contract. Behind the scenes of this crazy show is a whole different story, of these two delving into the most hardcore kinks out there- knifeplay, painplay, bondage.

if you've gotten into the community, if you've read a couple dozen particularly good fics by authors who know what they're talking about, hell; even if your only experience is fifty shades or 365 or whatever- you gotta know that BDSM scenes are crazy fucking emotionally heavy. there's so much that has gone down between them during their full moons that helluva can't get into!!

but you know how in so many of these popular medias and fics, the dom in the relationship is also like,, the billionaire/mafia heir/prince, etc, the one with financial and physical power? this isnt that. it has been very clearly stated that stolas is subbing, blitz is domming.

now take a moment and think about how much that fucks up the dynamics.

in stolas' eyes, blitz is a confident, dangerous individual who's an old friend and cherished memory of his, who he's trusted wholly with his safety during sex and he's lucky to have; and he has been in an abusive arranged marriage for the past eighteen Years, he's probably not going to be pushing his luck with his dom that much in the first place. plus, blitz is never cowed by him during their conversations- think back to the first phone call right after he stole the book, completely unafraid.

and for blitz, it's someone trusting him again- but it's also a royal- a blue blood who's nearly untouchable and so much more powerful- who couldn't possibly like a piece of shit like him, apart from the sex he gets out of it. he only flirts once he gets some sort of cue from Stolas; he's desperately trying to view this as only a Goetia trying to get his rocks off, despite all the evidence to the contrary, because anything else is unfathomable to him, no matter how clearly Stolas shows it, because of the ptsd.

both of them thinks the other has the power. both of them aren't expecting the other to keep shut if something's bothering them.

and there's so much conflicting messages from the other too!

stolas calls him a plaything when trying to intimidate the humans; stolas cups his face gently and asks if he's alright

blitz asks him on a date and tells him to get better soon; blitz yells that it's only sex and doesn't reply to his messages

ya see?

bring it to fizzozzie for a second now; even though they do look all good on surface, you can still see fizz's trauma and doubt in all their interactions, they're still forced to keep the relationship secret. do you see his face when Ozzie says in hyperbole that he's never leaving the house again, or when someone accuses him of being a pampered house pet or when he got sexualized in the 7th ep? whatever happened in the interim between the accident with mammon, it fucked him UP. even though oz seems to be well aware of this when he tells him not to apologise and in their general interactions, fizz still visibly has trouble separating plaything/commodity from healthy relationship.

shout the fuck out to Ozzie btw, man knows whats UP. rooting for these two so much omg.

i forgot where I was going with this point, I'll edit it when i remember. but yeah! lovely fucking relationship, but damn what angst filled issues.

anyway, to sum up- stolitz is not a toxic relationship. the relationship is stuck sludging through misunderstandings and careless microaggressions and trauma responses, but it's not unhealthy or toxic because of the simple reason that most of the current hurt comes from... a misunderstanding. stolas didn't realise blitz would need reassurance about what they were and blitz didn't see stolas as someone who could get hurt.

unecessarily calling it toxic, even online, is more impactful than people think too. almost all spindlehorse ARE on all social medias; so MANY YouTube animators i know have found jobs there; they see your words, especially since a lot don't tag posts with "anti hb" correctly to keep them out of the main tag. there are Very few queer medias made BY queer people that haven't gone through heavy corporate revisions- helluva boss is practically a historical landmark in its success. it's very very very fucking easy to forget that not ten years ago some of the only queer videos on YouTube were butter lover (one kiss at the end post credits), dirty paws and welcome to hell (subtext).

the amount of "critical talk" helluva boss gets for what it is is very unprecedented. it's a beautiful show. can't wait for the next episode.

#helluva boss #stolas #blitz #stolitz #fizzarolli #helluva boss ozzie #okay im gonna make SO much content but i had to get this off my chest first #because so many people were like omg fizzozzie is so healthy stolitz take a lesson!!#and theres so much more nuance to it thats its so. frustrating to see a statement like that #meta #anyways #i love this fucjing show

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rick-rayson · 13 days

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LUCY MACLEAN┊ DATING HCS

A/N: I'm back to feed my own obsessions hi hello beenaminit

NOTES: POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOR THE FALLOUT SHOW!! Though I tried to keep it very ambiguous

┊BEFORE DATING:

Let's be honest Lucy probably fell first, whether you're a Vault Dweller or Wastelander it doesn't matter. Despite the privileges of the vaults, Vault 33 has hardwired Lucy's brain to freely feel and act on emotions with vigor.

Having been raised in a meritocracy, Lucy believes the best way to win your affections is through active illustrations of her skills, knowledge, and attentiveness. Very much an acts of service person.

And very, very bad flirting.

"You're really well learned in enacting violence!"

"You're so good at- um- shooting. People."

"How's it going?" She asks as she leans on a rusted mailbox.

It breaks and she falls over.

Just. Really bad.

You're likely aware that she fancies you before she even realizes. She's not good at hiding her expressions at all.

Not so subtly checking you out or admiring you whenever you just, exist, tbh

Despite it all, she won't make the first move to save her life. Tiptoeing on the line of what ifs and what isn't. You're going to have to take one for the team.

┊DATING:

She's actually a huge loser

Absolute girl failure

She's trying so hard though

Proximity is a must. If you're dating Lucy, you quickly become fundamental to her sense of peace.

At first it's a bit much, being in the wasteland kind of messes up her sense of boundaries a bit in a desperation to have you as much as possible.

You have to remind her flat out that it is not, in fact, the norm to follow your partner as they try to find a private place to pee.

She's a bit of a freak honestly.

SOMETHING is up with her but she's so much nicer and kinder than anyone on the surface that you don't mind much.

Uses terms of endearment but sparingly, mostly in private.

You could wake up and look like a feral ghoul and she'd still look at you with a big smile like, "Hey Doll/Hun. Sleep well?"

Craves softness and physical affection but feels as though she cannot have it. Everyone is quick to tell her what kind of person she needs to be on the surface so she's hesitant to express her affections sometimes.

But the more you show her that your touch is not meant to harm, but to love, she'll reciprocate.

Pretty touchy, subtle mostly, a hand on your back, a hand rubbing your arm, tracing your palm with her thumb.

When you two first started dating she very shyly asked if she could place her sleeping bag near yours, you could only laugh.

Whenever she scavenges food (or anything even slightly digestible) she's always offering it to you first.

Sometimes she just craves a really good make-out. She's good at repressing whatever bullshit the wasteland throws at her but she's not about to say no to a make-out session.

Whenever she finds cool knick-knacks she gifts them to you. Pins, random comic books

"I found another Grognak book-! Oh, oh wait, no, no we've already read this one :/"

hats. Lots of hats. Neat hats.

"Well don't you look dapper?" She grins as she places a sun hat on your head.

Honestly depends on you a bit. Though she's aware of the fact the surface is dangerous, it's a different thing to have to experience it.

Tells you all about Vault 33 and what her childhood was like over campfire. You learn very quickly why she is the way she is.

She can be an easy person to sway so she honestly needs you as her rock, her bad cop if you will.

Most nights she'll only sleep if you sleep first, watching over you for a bit before indulging in rest.

Kinda just stares at you a whole lot, but she means well.

Will always be the first to elect to take care of you, and gets a bit possessive in that respect.

Almost completely tackled Maximus to the floor when you got hurt and raced to use whatever she had on hand. She does not care if it's the last Stimpak they have, she WILL do anything to make sure you're okay.

She cares for you so deeply, as you're likely her first ever love.

She falls first, and she falls hard.

Always fixes up your clothes before heading out or patting down your garments, It's a post-apocalyptic wasteland, no one cares about appearances, but you know that Lucy does it to retain a sense of normalcy for herself.

A little thing that she's good at is being persuasive, it's a subtle thing, but Lucy is acutely aware that sometimes batting her eyelashes or giving a pretty please can get her to where she needs or what she wants.

She most definitely uses it on you.

And uh.. NSFW headcanons?

SHE'S A FREAK!

AN ABSOLUTE FREAKZOID!!

That is all. c:

#Fallout #Fallout x reader #fallout 4 #fallout 3 #fallout amazon prime #fallout tv #fallout series #fallout tv show #fallout prime #lucy fallout #lucy maclean x reader #fallout lucy x reader #fallout new vegas #fallout nv #ella purnell

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edenfenixblogs · 5 months

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Thank Your Jewish Friends Trying to Educate You Right Now

If you’re a leftist, and you have had a Jewish friend reach out to you to try and tell you that you’ve said something alarming or harmful or antisemitic: listen to them, learn, and say thank you.

I am VERY lucky in that all the friends I’ve personally reached out to have taken the opportunity to learn and grow and adjust their behavior. I have never told them that they should not advocate for Palestine. I have told them I want to advocate for Palestine WITH them, but I need to feel safe in order to do so. I need to feel like the people I’m advocating with don’t want me and my loved ones dead. Thank HaShem that they have listened to me. From the bottom of my heart, my friends are a blessing.

But I’ve seen an incredibly disheartening number of fellow Jews who have had the opposite experiences—being expelled from their queer communities and activist communities and book clubs and any space they once found community. This is horrid but it’s especially horrid for Jews. It’s a reminder that we are only accepted if we conform. We are only accepted if we accept abuse. Our presence is always tolerated, never wanted. Our views are not to be trusted. Our opinions are always suspect. Our motives are always sinister. Our acceptance is always conditional. And I think that hurts even more for us than you’d imagine, because our own spaces are no longer safe. We are already in diaspora. And now our synagogues and homes and other community buildings are being vandalized and attack. We are cut off from our own cultural community and now many of us are being cut off from our personal communities as well. It is a loneliness that most people outside of a diaspora will never know.

Im willing to bet that if you have/had a Jewish friend who you considered close but who seems to have disappeared from your life, it’s because you either didn’t reach out to them after 10/7 or you have failed to acknowledge the stochastic threat to Jews or the Jewish connection to Israel. Why is it important that you do this? Because we are your friends and loved ones. And when friends and loved ones tell you they are hurting, you should listen. When you say you care about someone, you should be willing to listen to them when they say you’re hurting them and then you should apologize. It is more hurtful than you can possibly imagine to watch people you thought cared about you decide to listen to people across the world who they have never met rather than simply have a conversation with a friend, because they assume that friend will dismiss the pain of Palestinians.

Many of you are assuming what your friends are feeling about Israel and Palestine, but you haven’t actually asked them. Many of you think that expressing sorrow for Israel or jews in the world, that means we cannot care about or want a better future for Palestine.

If you are lucky enough to have a friend who has tried to reach out to you, that means they are willing to forgive you for neglecting them in this time. They are willing to talk with you and try to explain their emotions in good faith. They want to find a way to advocate for progress with you. They want to keep you in their lives. They want you to understand our culture and history—not at the exclusion of anyone else’s culture and history—just at the inclusion of our own.

Because here’s the other thing: they won’t forget that you denied them understanding and respect and the benefit of the doubt. That’s not a threat. That’s a cultural feature of Judaism. We have famously long cultural memories. We remember the people and places we can trust and those who refused to give us peace and safety and basic kindness. We remember the people who targeted us, your friends and loved ones, simply because other Jews who we have never met behaved in ways you don’t understand and of which you don’t approve. You are blaming the sins of others on people you claim to love.

If someone is giving you the chance to undo the damage you have done on this, you should take it. And if you have expelled Jews from a space you once shared or failed to acknowledge their pain in this time—find them and apologize.

I am not Muslim, but I wouldn’t doubt that something similar is happening in Muslim spaces. Islamophobia and antisemitism are at terrifyingly high levels right now. And if you think you can’t support Jews without condemning Muslims or you can’t support Muslims without condemning Jews, you’re not only part of the problem—you’re the biggest part of the problem.

What we all need right now is unity, peace, solidarity, understanding, and education above all else.

#jumblr #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #islamophobia #jewish muslim solidarity

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books-and-catears · 6 months

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Raphael: It seems you don't realise just how lucky you are sometimes Lucifer

Lucifer: Am I supposed to be grateful for something you've done?

Raphael: No not to me. To the humans. *Points at MC playing games with Mammon, Levi and Luke*

Lucifer: I am always grateful to MC but as for Solomon well except his occasional well timed help, he has only given me headaches.

Raphael: You better show a little respect for the only being that could save you from possible annihilation.

Lucifer: ... what kind of annihilation? *Stands up* Have the angels prophesized some more chaotic events again?! We'll sorry to tell you but we're very much at peace do unless the Celestial realm has hostility in its future plans-

Raphael: It's the humans who might threaten your peace this time, not us.

Lucifer: Spare me the baseless speculation.

Raphael: You don't realise their combined power do you?

Raphael: One of them single handedly went to war against Devildom and escaped unscathed, and the other can summon and use you and your brothers at will.

Lucifer: ...what does your prophecy suggest we do to avoid confrontation?

Raphael: Donot force seperation on them and if you harm one, the other will come back stronger for revenge. And they won't be defeated until the realm is destroyed.

Lucifer: ...what?

Raphael: The only thing keeping them content and controlled is each other. If you want this hard-won peace to continue, ask your brothers to behave.

Lucifer: ....

Mammon: Lucifer! Oi Lucifer! Solomon's not letting MC stay for the sleepover again!

Lucifer: Does MC want to stay...?

Levi: Well they keep making excuses for Solomon and wanting to go back to him saying he's lonely or something but I'm sure that's just them trying to be nice and-

Lucifer: Then let MC go.

Asmo: But Lucifer-

Lucifer: Let them go.

Raphael: Wise choice. I'll be taking my leave now.

MC: Solomon I'm home! *runs and hugs him*

Solomon: *spins them around* Welcome back! The brothers let you leave easier today huh?

MC: Yes! I'm so relieved I didn't have to waste another hour making excuses!

Solomon: I'm glad too.

MC: Are you finished working on that transformation potion yet?

Solomon: Yes I did. Tried and tested - it is ready.

MC: Aw you tried it already? I wanted to see! Who did you turn into? And how long did it last?

Solomon: I was Raphael for an hour and half.

MC: Did you manage to prank someone?!

Solomon: *chuckles* Indeed I think I did.

#obey me #obey me solomon #obey me Lucifer #obey me solomon x reader #obey me mammon #obey me asmo #obey me levi #obey me raphael

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anxiousnerdwritings · 9 months

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Yandere Smaug Headcanons (platonic)

Smaug would be extremely possessive of his darling and just as protective. They are the most valuable possession amongst his hoard after all, his most precious treasure. Their worth is more than all the gold and jewels in the world to him. So much so that he could never part with them. That’s why he insists, or rather demands you stay amongst his hoard, where he knows it’s safe. Besides, you’re surrounded by so many beautiful, shiney things and they’re all yours.

Of course you would be kept in the safety of his sanctum after he’s taken the Lonely Mountain for himself. Harbored amongst all the gold, gems and jewels you couldn’t possibly think of, right where Smaug wants you most. He couldn’t possibly fathom any harm coming to his precious one, not when you have him to protect you.

Smaug is extremely strict about allowing his precious one to go anywhere, even if it is to venture off to another part of his sanctum. He doesn’t like not having them within his sight. He hates the thought of them getting hurt or lost, but he especially despises the idea of them ever stepping foot outside his lair. If that were to ever happen his panic and anger couldn’t possibly be repressed.

If his darling were to stray too far or is gone just a little too long for his liking/comfort, Smaug will follow their scent and drag them back to where he feels most comfortable keeping having them. There are very few places he allows them to venture to and he knows them all by heart, being more than capable to go after them if need be and easily retrieve his darling, bringing them back to the only real space he’s comfortable with them staying kept in. It keeps them closest to him and he can keep his eye on them in every sense of the word, even when he’s sleeping he’ll know if they make even the slightest of changes in their usual movements. Smaug is very well aware of his environment and the space he’s resigned himself to, he’ll know if they take even just one step out of the perimeter he’s allowed them to move freely about.

As much as he spoils his darling, Smaug really only rewards good and obedient behavior. Anything less than or just blatant disobedience won’t be take lightly. Smaug demands respect, especially from his little darling. It’s because of him that you are safe and so well taken care of, the least you can do is show some gratitude and appreciation towards him.

As gruff and grumpy as Smaug can be there are times he can be quite playful with his little darling, especially if it’s what they want and they’ve been pretty well behaved. It didn’t take him long to realize that often then not when his darling would venture off and stray away from where he demanded they stay kept was to solely get him to chase after them in a playful game of tag or hide and seek. He can usually tell the difference in whether his darling is trying to make a run for it or is simply trying to get him to play with them. It’s the gigging that really gives it away.

Not only can Smaug be playful but he’s also an excellent storyteller. When he really wants some peace and quiet or to just get his darling to go to sleep in general, Smaug will use his tail to bring them close to him, curling it around them to keep them in place then he goes on telling them stories of his adventures. Sometimes when his darling is really restless he’ll ask them what story they want to hear but more times then not his stories usually involve him boasting and bragging about himself. He especially takes care to make it clear to his darling that he is in fact the biggest dragon to ever exist. Of course it’s a complete lie but his darling doesn’t know that, and even if they were to question him about it he wouldn’t let up. As far as Smaug’s concerned he is the biggest dragon around now.

As much as Smaug typically comes off as aloof or even flat out terrifying he does hold some genuine care for his darling, even if it is just a little. His obsession is primarily possessive with that possessiveness only becoming all the worse the more his obsession festers and grows. Eventually his darling will become something more than just an object for him to own, they’ll become a treasure he certainly doesn’t want anyone or anything else getting ahold of. And with that said he will do anything to keep them with him, and only with him. He will reign hellfire down on anyone or anything that dares to steal his darling treasure away from him.

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nyrasproblm · 2 months

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Eu não sou o único - 02

Leto Atreides x reader, Paul Atreides x reader (platonic), Jessica Atreides x reader (platonic)

Word Count: 1,7K

Warnings: angst, age gap (reader is 20s, leto is 40s), arranged marriage, rejection, loneliness, screaming.

The week before leaving for Arrakis dragged by slowly, you barely left your room. Today, the weather was more pleasant and you decided to leave your room to take a walk outside the Palace. You had already seen almost all the bibliofilms available to you, learned a little about Arrakis, about their spice and about the Fremen.

Sighing, you left the room and decided to guide yourself through the corridors, in order to spend as much time as possible outside your room. However, as you turned into a hallway you bumped into someone and fell. Before getting up, you looked up and saw an elderly man, chubby, with dark skin and completely gray curly hair.

— Oh! A thousand pardons, young duchess, a thousand pardons. — he held out his hand and you graciously accepted it, standing up.

— I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention, sir… — you waited for him to introduce himself.

— Thufir Hawat, milady, master of assassins and head of security for House Atreides. — he extended his hand and you placed yours over his, seeing him take your hand and touch his forehead, as a sign of respect.

— It is a great pleasure to meet you, Thufir Hawat, although under these circumstances, I apologize again. — you opened a small smile.

— Where was the young duchess going in such a hurry, if I may ask?

— Oh, I just wanted to get out of my room for a bit...

Thufir Hawat gave you a tender smile and nodded, extending his arm for you to take.

— Can I accompany you on your walk, your grace? - he asked.

Graciously accepting his arm, you walked at a leisurely pace through the castle until you reached the outside, where you sat on a stone bench facing the sea.

— Thufir Hawat, may I ask you a question?

— I will answer everything you ask me, milady. — he replied, turning his face towards you.

— You're a Mentat, right? — you swallowed hard.

— Yes, my lady, I was bestowed with this gift after years of training. — he replied politely.

— Must be good. — you replied absently, looking at the sea.

You and Thufir stayed for a while longer until he had to leave to fulfill his duty to House Atreides.

You spent the rest of the day in your room.

-------------------------------

You met Thufir Hawat on the other days too, but you didn't want to disturb him as he was very busy, but he came to you one day and invited you to walk along the coast again.

You talked a lot and it was good to have a friend at the Palace, since the maids barely looked at you, Lady Jessica was nowhere to be found, Paul preferred to be training, and your husband... anyway.

Encouraged by the way Thufir Hawat seemed to be a good friend, you took a deep breath and started to speak, turning to him.

— Thufir Hawat, if I say something, will you promise to keep it a secret?

The old gentleman turned to you, his sparse eyebrows rising slightly.

— If it is something that puts House Atreides at risk, I must inform the Duke, my lady. But if it's something that isn't dangerous, then I'll keep your secret. — he replied calmly.

— No, it won't put anyone at risk, it's one thing... you know, Thufir Hawat, all my life everything I do never matters, I want to do something important at least once.

— What are you trying to say, young duchess?

— I learn quickly, I know how to pilot some ships, I know how to speak some of the ancient languages, and I know hand combat. — you took a deep breath. — Thufir Hawat, if you could train me... to be a Mentat, I would never do anything to harm anyone, I just want to be of some value-

— Duchess, I'm afraid that's not possible-

— Please, I know how to calculate and solve some things, I just want-

— Young lady, pay attention. — he turned and held his arms, seeing that up close his eyes were about to leak. — You don't need any of these things to have value, we all have value, remember that. You are an honorable lady, you don't need to prove anything to anyone, understand?

— I want to prove it to myself. — the first tear fell. — My whole life they talk about me as if I were just a bargaining chip, I want to convince myself that I am more than that, please, master Thufir, please.

The old man sighed and rubbed your arms a little, looking at the grass.

— You know what that implies, right? Mentat are not prohibited from training, but it is dangerous due to politics, if I train you and you do something against this House, then we will both die, can you understand that, milady?

— I would never do that, I swore allegiance to House Atreides and I will be loyal until my death, it is my House now.

Thufir Hawat sighed and gave a small smile.

— Alright then, but let's be cautious, shall we?

There were only two days left before leaving for Arrakis, and in those two days Thufir Hawat gave you some old leather books, and when possible he would meet with you quickly to teach you before returning to his own duties.

---------------

On the last night before leaving for Arrakis, your room was almost empty, you were reading one of Thufir's latest books when a maid informed you that the Duke wanted to have dinner with you.

The maids helped you get dressed and you calmly walked to the dining room, even though you were confused about the sudden invitation. Upon entering, you frowned when you only saw the Duke there.

— My lord duke. — you bowed your head slightly and sat on the opposite side of him.

He just nodded and dinner was served, the two began to eat in silence, again the noise of cutlery filling the place.

You were distracted by the embroidery pattern on the napkin in front of you and only paid attention again when you heard the Duke's deep voice.

— I hear you've been spending a lot of time with my head of security. — he said while cutting the meat with a knife.

You looked at him and blinked in confusion a few times.

— Ah, Thufir Hawat, yes, he is very kind, sir. — you drank water.

— I hope you understand that Master Thufir has duties and cannot waste time like you. — he replied, looking at you.

You felt butterflies in your stomach and looked away, swallowing hard.

— Yes, your grace is right, I will no longer bother Master Thufir.

The rest of the dinner passed in silence and when they finished, the Duke left and you waited a few minutes before you could leave too, going straight to your room.

------------

The arrival on Arrakis was the other day, Leto was wearing gray armor, Jessica was wearing a yellow silk dress with a veil of the same color and stones on her face, Paul was wearing formal attire and you were wearing a silk dress, but red, similar to Jessica's, she chose it. You wore stones on your bust and sleeves, like her, but without a veil or stones on your face.

Everyone was watching the ramp of the large ship descend, and during that, you saw Jessica stop next to Leto and put her hand on his, which he held and squeezed. You looked away and stayed a few steps behind with your maids.

Paul noticed your uneasiness and held out his arm for you to hold and you held it with a minimal smile on your face. The Duke turned his face to look at his son and saw the scene, but he showed no emotion.

When they started to leave, you and Paul were behind Leto and Jessica, when they arrived halfway you saw Thufir waiting for everyone. Paul let go of you and ran away.

— Thufir Hawat! — he exclaimed happily and hugged the old man.

— Young master, I'm glad the trip was safe. — he said, returning the hug and turning to the others. — My lord duke, my lady Jessica.

He furrowed his eyebrows when he saw you practically hidden, far behind where you should be. He took a few steps to the left so he could see you better.

— My young Duchess Atreides. — he said with a tender smile that you returned.

Everyone walked towards the ornithopters, but you were guided to go with Leto, Paul and Jessica went in another with Thufir Hawat. As you entered and settled in, you saw that Gurney was also there, he was the master at arms of House Atreides.

Leto sat in the seat next to yours and Gurney sat in front. The ornithopter started to take off, soon you could see some people, the same ones who were shouting things to Paul. Turning your face to Gurney you ask:

— What were they shouting to Paul?

— Lisan Al-Gaib. Is what the Fremen consider to be a messiah. — your husband responded from beside her, before Gurney could say anything.

You just mumbled something in response and fell silent. That was none of your business, you didn't like to meddle in matters, but you knew that this was the work of the Bene Gesserit.

The rest of the flight was silent and the ornithopter landed at the new Atreides Palace. Leto got out first and you were surprised when he held out his hand to help you down.

Leto and Gurney started talking about Arrakis and you stayed close to them as they walked in, Gurney left to talk to someone and Leto turned to you.

— It's a beautiful dress.

You swallowed and nodded.

— Indeed.

A maid came and said that Thufir was calling you. You followed her and soon you were in a large room, Thufir waiting for you there, the maid leave.

— Milady, I must inform you that Lady Jessica has chosen a governess. — you blinked at him in confusion. —The duchess must choose a governess, no?

— Lady Jessica is used to this, I presume, she had better do it.

#x reader #duke leto atreides #duke leto #leto atreides #fem reader #paul atreides #jessica atreides

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undiscovered-horizon · 8 months

Text

Vikings preference: your friend hits on you and gets aggressive

@ivartheb0neless

Ragnar Feels genuinely hurt because he thought he could trust your friend. Whenever Ragnar went away, he'd ask your friend to keep an eye on you and generally make sure you're safe and sound. Makes veiled threats and passive-aggressive jokes at first, hoping that he can both force a boundary and not sour any relationships but his humour is gone when he realizes that your friend is not keen on taking no as an answer. If you raise your concern about "safety vs. keeping a friend", Ragnar makes a sarcastic comment about your sentiment - because a guy who forced himself on you is such a great friend to keep, right?

Gives you a knife to keep on you at all times. If you have the guts, and such an occasion arises, to stab the man once he gets physical with you, Ragnar will have your back no matter what. Also, low-key thrilled. But if you don't end up fighting your own battles, he'll gladly do it for you. Not an ounce of regret on his face during or after.

Bjorn Pretty direct. Makes plausible threats and will fulfil them. Terrifyingly calm and collected for the most part. He's angry but also disappointed that someone you considered a friend could repay your kindness and affection in such a way.

If you tell Bjorn that you're unsure what to do because you want to keep your friend or you think that he's overdoing things, he might get short with you but it's not out of malice. He's worried that if you don't see your male friend for the lying snake that he is, you might get even more hurt and that possibility enrages him so much he doesn't entertain that thought longer than necessary.

Bjorn is definitely the type to make his revenge somewhat public. Not only will that make others keep their distance from you but it will also earn him respect among other men - he takes his husbandly duties seriously. Whether your "friend" lives or dies is entirely up to them and how callous they have been with you. Whether he meant to or not, Bjorn causes people to look away from you when you're walking through the town. No one wants to risk getting your friend's treatment.

After that, Bjorn will never trust any man who tries to be your friend or claims to be one.

Ubbe Tries to be the bigger person at first and has a stern word with your friend. Ubbe is probably the only one to seriously take your word/assurance that there's nothing to get worked up about. He will also wait relatively the longest before getting seriously involved - not because he doesn't care, it's quite the contrary. He doesn't want to impose on your independence, so even if he's uncomfortable with the situation but you keep saying "I've got this", he will keep to himself although will voice his concerns (and will refuse to leave you alone at any place or time). When things become serious and the man starts to get physical, Ubbe will make it clear that from now on he's more concerned about your well-being than your freedom: "I'm sorry for disregarding your wishes but I can't sit and watch you get hurt". Believes to be responsible for your safety as your husband.

Ubbe is the type of person who will seek your friend out on his own and resolve the issue right then and there. He goes to the other man's house one night and leaves it only when an agreement is reached - doesn't matter how far he has to go to ensure that. Ubbe's not afraid to get his hands dirty for the right reasons.

Hvitserk Also hurt because he was actually getting along well with the other man. Hvitserk will ask about your perspective and wishes but if your safety is compromised, he won't make them a priority. At first, he's trying to get you out of harm's way, so you're leaving your house only if he's by your side. But once he learns that your supposed friend forced his way into your home and put his hands on you, Hvitserk is determined to take things into his own hands. He won't seek out your friend on his own but rather wait for an opportunity to arise; doesn't start the fight but surely will end it. The next time another unwanted advances are made towards you, Hvitserk has an axe in his hand and this time, he's the one who doesn't take no for an answer.

If you ever befriend another man after that, Hvitserk will tolerate him but never let go of any suspicions. Also, might tell the story of your previous "admirer" to scare your new friend into behaving properly.

Sigurd The most probable to get into a brawl right away. At first, he feels quite self-conscious seeing another man flirting with you but when the man in question starts to become aggressive, Sigurd coins his insecurity into hostility, effectively picking a fight. After what seems like lakes of blood and an entire concert of bones breaking, the brawl ends. Sigurd looks like he's been through Hell and still that's a lot better than your friend, who would be pronounced dead if it wasn't for the sporadic raise of his chest as he tries to take in a ragged breath. Sigurd will also voice his anger as he's caving in the other man's skull ("Was it fun when you grabbed her? Enjoying a little manhandling, eh? I'm happy to provide").

Gains respect in his brothers' eyes but none of them quite wants to admit it.

Ivar He would also feel self-conscious at first. Considers your friend's bold behaviour an assault on his masculinity ("You think I'm not man enough and therefore think you have any right to bother my wife"). Not surprised in the slightest. Hated the guy's guts from the very beginning and made it obvious. Might actually say the dreaded "told you so".

Because he perceives your friend's aggression as somewhat personal, Ivar is driven to go quite far in order to make the punishment fit for the crime. Not only does he do it for your sake but also to make sure that everyone knows just how much of a true Viking is inside him. Some say that "silence is golden", so if your friend decides to use less-than-savoury language towards you, he might end up with his throat filled with liquid gold to ensure no more offence leaves his mouth. Similarly, he's going to suffer the "equivalents" for whatever other thing he's done. He grips your hand so hard there's a bruise? Ivar will wrap his hand with a chain and slowly tighten it until all the bones crack and the wrist is literally torn away from the forearm. But no matter what he does, in the end he still feels like it doesn't quite make up for your friend's wrongdoings.

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ixiot-ghostrebel · 2 months

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Hey dude. It's me - anon with that SAGAU!kid!reader idea. Well, I was thinking about Liyue or Sumeru men (I'm that kind of person, that's into guys LOL). If there is a relationship, then only platonic one (or maybe father-child in Zhongli's case).

So I will try to go with Zhongli, Baizhu, Alhaitham and Cyno (probably Gaming, cuz he's like a son to me) That's it for now Hope I didn't ask for much tho 😅

CONNECTED TO THIS IDEA!

Aye aye, Anon! God!Child! Reader Platonic Meets Ups It is!

Also plz note that I might not be able to list every Sumeru/Liyue man there is in Genshin bc Im doing this at the top of my head—

Sumeru And Liyuen Men (And Gaming) With The God Child.

(Warning: Might be OOC!)

Cyno

The General Mahamatra may not exactly be well-versed when it comes to comforting words (except his puns—and even then, many people would say otherwise), but Cyno is a sincere man. You can trust that he will stick to his word.

And he does, when he promised to look after the Almighty Creator who is a child (not unlike Nahida, but they certainly have more of a mindset of a child—). But was he expecting your chaotic behavior (explosives Klee Style)? Yeah...No.

Bro nearly thought you were held at gunpoint or tricked/manipulated into doing it until he realized you did on your own.

"...Your Grace...Please don't blow up the store again." So instead of protecting you from harm by others, Cyno is more focused on protecting others from harm by you. As much as he doesn't like to think of it that way, you were a lot more dangerous than any eremite or sand monster there was out there.

At least he's still doing his job, being the General Mahamatra! You gift him a flower crown, and he has to take it or else. :)

Tighnari

Since he works with many young forest rangers, and tutors Collei, Tighnari is probably used to dealing with children. Dealing with the Almighty Creator certainly wasn't going to be an issue under this Forest Watcher's eyes.

That was...until you blew up a rishboland tiger. By yourself. On your own. Without getting hurt.

He was not the only freaking out, mind you. Collei was losing it, and Tighnari? He's internally screaming and getting metaphorical heart attacks.

"Your Grace, what were you thinking, running off like that? I know you're strong and you want to protect everyone, but you can really hurt the environment and—" He tries his best to hold back his sassiness while he scolds you, considering some children are much more emotional than others.

He sets up some basic rules for you to follow to make sure that you respect the Avidya Rainforest grounds, but also protect yourself from any form of harm.

Bro becomes a helicopter parent while you're under his care. Have fun, and I hope you enjoy mushrooms. Collei will cook you something else if you don't like what Tighnari cooks, though. :)

Kaveh

This man. He will BUILD you toys. He will DRAW you stories. He may even tell you stories himself.

Mehrak is your best friend when you're around Kaveh. And that man tries his best to make sure your time with him is good. He also refrains from drinking, which is nice! He's improving a little! :D

Absolutely gets worried if you run off without him knowing or if you're hiding from him for too long while playing hide and seek. He goes into an utter MELTDOWN.

And if you blow something up? Boy, if you thought Tighnari getting metaphorical heart attacks was bad, think again—Kaveh might actually get a heart attack.

"Your Grace! What—What were you thinking? Where were you? What did you do? Why did I hear an explosion?!" He's trying to keep himself as calm as possible, but Kaveh is an emotional man. He's kind of failing—

Luckily, with your go-lucky attitude, you pull Kaveh around and take his mind off of work and your explosions! Win-win! :D

Al-haitham

The moment Nahida assigned him the task of taking care of the Almighty Creator, who is a child, bro is planning his things carefully. He is safe-keeping his books, he's renovating Kaveh's bedroom (bc yes), he's buying a few colouring books and crayons.

What he caught him by surprise was not how trusting you were to new strangers you barely knew. It was how you had fun with explosions and exploding everything in your path.

You can imagine as you're being carried away by the Scribe, he's giving you a one-sentence scolding.

"Your Grace, don't ever do that again, it's not nice." He would go into further detail, but he's sure you wouldn't care all that much about data and analysis and stuff like that, so he just ends it as it is.

You're still gonna do it, there's no doubt. It's just now Al-haitham is preparing for your next incoming attack as well.

Zhongli

Grandpa gramps is here woohoo! He's probably the most calmest out of everyone on this request list LOL. You can imagine he's following you calmly, apologizing and paying (through Childe's money cough) for the damages you caused.

Believe it or not, but it was Hu Tao who found you first and decided to take you to Mr. Zhongli for babysitting. He contemplates how the Director found you and brought you back.

The first time you explode something, he is definitely surprised. And concerned of the people who got hurt. You can't fault him for being worried for the mortals that were involved—Liyue Harbor is basically his child. Bro's been governing it for thousands of years.

"Your Grace, Little One, let's try not to put strain in the efforts of an adult's day-to-day life." He scolds you, and will definitely be more keen on your whereabouts, but he does this in a gentle tone. At the very least, you give him something to do that doesn't require him to present himself as the supposedly "deceased" Geo Archon.

Baizhu

With the guy's health issues...it's hard to say if he'll be able to keep up with you and your constant outings all around Liyue Harbor. Changsheng is definitely worried about Baizhu's stress levels as he has to figure out what you did this time and make sure no one was harmed.

He constantly has to ask Qiqi to go find you since he literally cannot keep up with your speed, lest he actually faints or something. You were that quick.

Luckily, if he hears of your whereabouts, he will definitely arrive just in time to apologize and give free check-ups to everyone involved in your explosion party.

"Now, Your Grace, please refrain from hurting others. It's not good to hurt someone's health." You can certainly expect Baizhu to give you a scolding—as well as a basic understanding of medical care in case either you or someone else will need it, and he can't make it there in time.

Like Kaeya (And Tighnari in this post), Baizhu will definitely write you some rules in a notebook and makes you recite them at least twice a day so that you remember not to hurt other people or damage your own health.

He is a doctor for a reason. It's his job to look out for others—even chaotic children with explosives.

Gaming

HAVE NO FEAR, GAMING IS HERE!

Bro is basically your Big Brother who does cool dances and gives you snacks and protects you. Since he's a real foody, you'll definitely know which places are the best to buy snacks!

You find his Wushou Dancing cool as well. He takes pride in it tbh. I mean, who wouldn't be ecstatic if the Almighty Creator loves it?

He does get a bit panic-y when he sees you blow things up, though. As much as he wants to pursue Wushou Dancing as his daily career, he still needs his job as a Shipment Guard.

"Y/N! No! Don't blow that up—!" Yes, he took you out once to travel with the shipment goods for one time, and he's never taken you with him again unless you promise not to blow anything that are near the goods.

He usually leaves you in Liyue Harbor when he's making these Shipment trips, but once he returns, you can certainly count on him to give you some tasty snack or a fulfilling dinner, as well as a free small Wushou Dance.

Big Brother Gaming does not disappoint!

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: I AM VERY DEAD. I AM SO SORRY SOBBING. Life hits you hard and fast sometimes sigh. I've been so busy I haven't been posting much—but rest assured, I have quite a lot of posts for you guys very soon!

✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦

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amuseoffyre · 5 months

Text

@triflesandparsnips made a rather spiffy observation on my post about Ed and face-touching:

It may be worthwhile, considering how much face/mouth violence Ed is sensitive to -- and when we see or hear about it -- to do a review of how much of that face sensitivity is also associated with food and eating.

And hooboy, I ended up down a rabbithole thinking about Ed and food and it got so long, it earned itself its own little post.

These are all the food/eating related moments that tie in directly to Ed having strong emotional responses. I didn't limit it to just the face-touching because there's a lot of emotional mess going on as well.

When Stede wakes him for brekkie in 1x04, he recoils immediately as he wakes, until he realises who's beside him (especially pertinent since Ed wakes in 2x03 and asks if anything was done to him while he was unconscious - he even anticipates harm while sleeping).

in 1x05, when he's being taught the intricacies of dining and the French captain slaps on his big red trauma button while he's sitting at a dining table and already feeling out of his depth with all the tablewear.

Cut to the flashback in 1x05 which has him and his mum talking quietly in one part of the room, but his father is there, slumped and drunk on the family dining table, setting the domestic sphere as a place of constant present threat.

Later in 1x05, when he's alone at the party, he's freaking out over not knowing how to deal with this kind of fancy-folk dining and then someone touches his face - double-whammy of the emotional stuff and the physical.

1x06 gives us the main flashback to his childhood and his father's violent reaction to 'slop' and 1x07 has stressed, out-of-his-comfort-zone hangry Ed, trying desperately to keep up the Blackbeard appearance ("Blackbeard can't be seen treasure hunting!") and again, something touches his body/head unexpectedly and he lashes out defensively.

There is so much going on in the brekkie scene that I can't even get into it here. Ed trying to code-switch between the way he interacts with Stede and Jack respectively, but most significantly, when Jack talks over him and ignores him trying to change the subject about violence he's done in the past, Ed shrinks down in the chair, doing the small-and-quiet thing he does when he's unhappy (one day I will yell about Ed taking refuge surrounding himself with gold/yellow things - blankets, chairs, robes, pillowforts. His version of the battle jacket).

1x10 has several moments. First is the marmalade - there's something child-like about the blanket fort and eating sweet sticky things with his fingers, taking comfort in food and hiding.

The second is something that is viscerally explained in S2 - when he forcefeeds Izzy his own toe. The contrast of the brutality and the very paternal "now don't forget to chew" like an adult talking to a child gave me chills the first time I watched it.

The last thing in 1x10 isn't necessarily food, but hooooboy there is something in the way he sets himself up at what was Stede's brekkie table, putting on the worst of personas possible, that is very much reminding me of his dad at the table in a bare, empty home, lit by a single candle, in that first flashback.

And now, into S2, and our man starts things in a totally healthy and normal way - eating the cake with his weapon. And, more importantly, "did everybody get cake?" Again, we have the juxtaposition of implicitly care-taking language against the surrounding violence and brutality.

The gravy basket tells us so much as well - he wakes up to the horror of being vulnerable, trapped by his own body and force-fed by someone who we learn had a habit of forcefeeding live crabs to people and who had threatened to flay Ed's skin off and feed it to him. He's rightfully afraid that anything Hornigold feeds him might be poisoned.

Once again, we have the parental energy of "open up for the cargo ship" tangled up with the fear of threat and violence and horror - poisoning, flaying and force-feeding.

Ed's fear has the two utterly bound up together, inescapably so. His father shaped his childhood and Hornigold stepped into that role when Ed became an outlaw.

But even in this messy and horrifying confrontation with his own psyche and layered up with the horrors he's lived through as a boy, some part of Ed still desperately wants the comfort and security of food and home, especially when the food his subconscious is gathering for him are the ingredients for Māori boil-up, something his mother would very likely have made for them.

It speaks measures that the three things he wants to live for include good food and warmth and orgasms. No fame. No glory. No reputation. Just to be loved and safe and warm and fed.

Jump forward to 2x04 and dinner with Bonny and Read. Ed is unsurprised by the degree of violence happening throughout, but does hesitate when poison comes into the equation - "I got the present you left for me in my glass" - Ed immediately sets down his glass, staring at it warily. Again, calling back to the Gravy Basket and his fear that anything given to him might be poisoned.

He's already on edge and off-balance - "not sure what's real and what's the basket" and there may or may not be poison and knives and the person he trusted may or may not betray him again and he's already spinning out when Anne - who had already declared her intention to provoke Ed and Mary - cheerfully lands the bombshell of why Stede left him.

No small wonder he storms out of the room, but it does lead to them having a much-needed conversation and he and Stede are on a much steadier footing after.

And then, of course, we have the breakfast of 2x07. This one is especially significant because Ed makes the brekkie then disposes of his leathers. He's actively trying to step from one mode of life to another, from the Blackbeard-and-Piracy into the domestic, softer life he's been quietly craving his entire life.

Only, as he says himself, "I don't think I've ever made regular breakfast for anyone before". He's trying, but it's something new and unfamiliar to him and it's "my way of saying thank you".

And lastly, we have the scene with the fisherman and his son where Ed has shoe-horned himself into what he thinks is the solution to all his problems and also includes a father-son dynamic, because our man can't do anything without his daddy issues rearing their ugly head.

Once again, Ed is out of his depth, but at the opposite end of the scale from the party ship. This is a place he thinks he should fit but he doesn't. This is the domesticity he craved, but without understanding or appreciating the real work that is needed to get there.

And once again, over a meal, he has an angry father expressing violence. "Control your pop-pop!" he tells the boy who is around the same age as he was when he killed his father. But he doesn't fight back, he doesn't strike out at Pop-pop, and the son steps between them and pulls his dad back several times.

And it's this father-figure's words that ring in Ed's ears when he realises Stede may be in danger. "If you were ever good at anything, do that". And if there's one thing Ed Teach is good at, it's fighting for the people he loves.

In conclusion our Mr. Teach wants a safe and comfortable home-life, with food and warmth (and orgasms), but he has no real experience of what that is really like or how to get it. His entire life has been a succession of threats and danger and men who would do harm to people in their charge, especially when they were unarmed, defenceless and vulnerable.

He doesn't know how to be safe yet, because he's never experienced it. All he's known until this point is a life of violence and danger and while he tried to move away from that, the violence and danger was still there - as Stede put it, there's no escaping it in their line of work.

But now, at the end of S2, for the first time in his life, he is actually able to say "No, I need to be away from piracy" because his whole journey through both seasons has been him trying and trying to step away from the life that has him by the throat.

And now, he's finally been able to do it and he's not alone. He has someone he's safe with and who is willing to do the work with him to help him figure things out. And give him good food, warmth and, of course, orgasms.

#ofmd #ofmd meta #ofmd thinkie thoughts #blackbeard #ed teach #long post

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yandere-kokeshi · 1 year

Text

Yandere Gyomei and Rengoku with a gn darling who has a fear of men

Request(ed): Yes! - how would rengoku and gyomei react to the reader, whom they’ve been trying to befriend but everytime they see them, they runs off in fear. Turns out, reader has a fear of men (specifically demon slayers) and was formally in an abusive relationship? Hope this isn’t too heavy. — requested by anonymous.

Warnings: Yandere behavior and conversations about trauma.

Authors note: I hope this turned out okay! This is my first time writing Rengoku. Love you <33

Gyomei Himejima:

It hurts him whenever you run off in fear, it makes him feel bad. At first, he believes it’s his height, I mean… he’s had children, women, and even elders avoid him out of intimidation because of how tall he is; he understands he seems scary, especially with how strong he is.

But, when Gyomei hears you talking to your friends, saying that Gyomei seems like a nice man but you’re scared of him; specifically all men and Demon Slayers? It makes him cry. He hates seeing you suffer, so once you say those words… he’d be quite sad. Of course, not at you but what caused you to have this trauma.

From then on, he’d try to do anything to make you feel safe or comfortable in his presence, even if it means keeping his distance, putting away his hand ax-flail, and sitting down in the corners, trying to be ‘as small as possible’.

When he does want to meet or you want to talk to him, he will make an arrangement for some tea outside; a place where it’s open, near a river and people walking by.

He will get you gifts: flowers from outside in the courtyard, showing you that he means no harm whatsoever. Whenever he senses that you’re unsure of his presence, he will leave the room.

Gyomei will never, ever make you feel pressured to do things. If you don’t wanna hang out, there’s always another day. Or if you don’t feel comfortable going somewhere, rather staying home, he’s fine with that too.

Gyomei always has a ‘safe room’ for you whenever you’re overstimulated or upset. He never, ever goes in that room, always leaves it up for you and respects your boundaries when you put them on.

If and when you do start to feel comfortable with him, Gyomei will praise you on your forwarding: “I’m happy you’re slowly expanding on your fear. I understand it’s hard, please do tell me if I can do anything to help in any way; shape, or form. I’m proud of you, darling.”

When you’re ready to talk about your trauma, he will be there, holding you and rubbing your back; comforting you with reminders of deep breaths. Once he learns what happens, he will praise you on telling him and make sure you never meet the person that caused you so much anxiety and fear; he will make sure of it.

Kyojuro Rengoku:

It confused him to no end when you always ran off, I mean… he’s not scary, right? He’s a big ol’ teddy bear that may or may not be very warm and comforting to be around.

Sure, Rengoku can be loud and immediately jogs to get to you; but everytime he comes near, you run off.. A type of fear in your eyes that stresses him out. Due to him not wanting to stress you out more, he starts to ask around: your neighbors and friends to reason and find out ‘why’.

But, when he finds out the reason ‘why’ you fear him, he immediately fixes his approaches towards you and tries to seem as friendly as possible; not wanting to stress you out or scare you more.

Rengoku immediately stops yelling at you from across the room, rather approaching you with a gentle smile and keeps his distance. When he wants to hang out, he lets you pick the place, even if he disagrees or doesn’t like it. He will try to keep his volume down, making sure to talk in a comfort-level voice to make you feel okay.

Much like Gyomei, he will eat somewhere with you outside; wanting you to feel as free as possible and realize you don’t have to fear him, rather feel at ease with him. Rengoku will even take off his uniform, put away his haori and katana, and stay away from the exit; sitting in front of you so you can see what he’s doing.

He will never, ever approach you when your back is turned, rather asking someone to get your attention and trying to never touch you; always asking for your permission first.

Rengoku will buy you gifts, much like Gyomei, he will give you flowers, clothes, and jewelry to show that he doesn’t want what you think and he just wants to get to know you.

When you do feel comfortable and open up about your trauma, he will be there, comforting you whilst holding hands with you: “That must’ve been hard for you. I’m sorry that happened, I just want you to know I’m proud of you; I have and always will be. Why don’t we get your favorites and watch the stars, yes?”

Rengoku will make sure to never, ever make you witness the man ever again. Not that he will be alive that is.

—

Check out my masterlist for more yandere content!

Reblogs, comments, and likes are very much appreciated!! Love you all <33

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azaliyas · 1 year

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Hello dear!

I would like to request an alhaitham x f!reader, wherein they're both burned out from work and had a big fight hehe but make it angst to comfort please 🥹

summary : as scholars and researchers, you and alhaitham had to deal with a lot of stress and pressure from deadlines, inhuman amounts of workload and tiredness. one evening, after another day of exhausting work, a simple argument turned into a huge fight with both of you throwing insults and yelling at each other. neither of you really meant any of that, and you both know that at the end of the day, comfort is where the other is.

word count : [ to be added later ]

genre : angst, hurt to comfort.

cw / tw : fem!reader, mentions of fighting and self-negligence, both character and reader are burned out, cursing and yelling.

characters : alhaitham.

note : aaaahhh! this is my first request! i'm pretty excited about it ngl ewe i hope it's what you kinda imagined and that it's of your liking, dear anon! <3

when, as a young and hopeful student, you entered the akademiya you knew you were going to deal with a lot, since the sumerian institution was worldly regarded as the best school existing. you knew stress and deadlines would have become your new best friends, but you were ready for all of that. you were passionate about history and social studies, the vahumana darshan was the obvious choice to satisfy your thirst for knowledge.

it was during those years that you met your boyfriend, alhaitham, a student of haravatat that was also well-versed in the topics of the other darshans. you would sometimes ask for his help and, surprisingly to others, he wouldn't complain about it one bit. many thought it was because you could offer something to him in exchange, but they were absolutely wrong. alhaitham always accepted to help you because he recognised your intelligence and pure love for knowledge, a love that made you aware of your limits as a human, and so respectful of not keep going on with your studies when the possible knowledge could harm you to a non returning point.

and from that, it was easy for him to fall in love with you, going against all logical thoughts because for him love was illogical, but loving you was not.

——————————————————————

alhaitham was tired. his mind felt numb, the more he read the book in front of him and the less he could understand the words printed on it. he knew it was pointless to continue reading if he wasn't registering any information, it was a waste of time he could have spent doing something more productive. yet there he was, closed in the four walls of his home office, trying to make heads and tails of the documents scattered all over his desk.

accepting nahida's offering as the acting grand sage, he thought, was the worst decision he could have taken in his whole life. even if it was momentarily until the lesser lord would have find the right people to take over as the sages, he was already tired of all the extra work he had to do, since he didn't renounce to his position as the akademiya's scribe. but now all of that was taking a toll on both his body and his mind, as well as his relationship with you.

when was the last time you two went on a date? or had at least spent some time together, doing one of the typical couples stuff he despised but you loved? or when was the last time he had held you in his arms, had a proper sleep, a proper meal, a proper anything? it had his blood boiling knowing that, after the commotion caused by the turmoil he and cyno and aether caused, he hadn't been able to enjoy the new freedom of sumeru with you. he knew you didn't mind it that much, because otherwise there wouldn't have been any peace in the nation at all, had the plan of the sages went well, nor did he regret do the right thing that was rescue the lesser lord.

but alhaitham missed you, all and everything about you. he missed your kind and pretty smile, he missed your lovely laughter. he missed your fingers gently playing with his hair, he missed your nails lightly scratching his scalp. he missed the warmth of your body, he missed the softness of your skin under his lips.

he missed his dear, precious lover, yet he couldn't do much about it, because even if you did manage to get some free time, you two were too tired to do anything that wasn't sleeping to finally get some energy back.

on the other hand, at the akademiya...

your office at the akademiya never felt so suffocating. it was big and spacious, lots of windows with a beautiful view on the city of wisdom and knowledge, but it was starting to being claustrophobic. how many hours had you spend there, trying to write your paper, you didn't know. day after day you would close yourself in, surrounded by books and old papers, trying to finish your research about the traditional celebrations of khaenri'ah, how they would celebrate important occasions such as the birthday of a member of the royal family or the coronation of a new king / queen, but sources were rare and your mental sanity was running thin. and yet, because you were so damn stubborn, you kept searching and searching, putting aside your well-being for this. the paper could have gotten you funds and a promotion as a full-time professor and you had all the intentions of getting both.

raising your head your eyes fell on the clock on your desk. almost 11pm. you sighed, hands ruffling your already messy hair. how long have it been since you had a proper shower, instead of a quick run so you could optimize your time and spend as much of it as possible on your research? you had no idea. another sigh left your lips and you decided you call it a day.

standing up, you took all the materials and put them aside, knowing you would be again in your office back tomorrow morning. your head felt like a hammer was hitting against your brain walls, an annoying whistle in your ears as you left your office, hand on forehead and another on the wall to support yourself. you felt so weak, when was the last time you ate a proper meal? puspa café's snacks were good, but they couldn't possibly be enough.

you left the akademiya, the gentle night breeze blowing on your warm skin. you shivered at the feeling, goosebumps arising on your arms, but it felt good. "i'm still alive", you thought, "this akademiya shit still hasn't gotten the better of me". a bitter laugh escaped at your own thoughts — how fucked up were you, actually?

dragging your feet in the silent city, you walked down to get home. alhaitham was probably already asleep, you imagined, because your boyfriend wasn't the type to stay up late to finish work, not even now that he was the acting grand sage, after the rebellion he planned and executed with the help of the general mahamatra cyno and the traveling hero aether to rescue lesser lord kusanali.

when you got home you expected anything but the sight of your boyfriend in the kitchen, brewing himself a cup of coffee. his eyebags were prominent, his hair a mess, his skin pale. all signs of exhaustion, just like yours.

«haitham, why are you still awake?» you asked stepping inside the kitchen. you heard him sighing, his beautiful teal-orange eyes burning your figure.

«the same as you: working my ass off for the akademiya.» his sharp tone had you flinch and frown, not expecting him to throw his tiredness on you.

«well, you should go get some rest. maybe it will help with that attitude of yours.» you bit back, and your boyfriend scoffed at your words.

«says you, looking like shit for neglecting your basic needs in favor of your academic research.» his coffee was long forgotten, his attention solely focused on your and your argument.

deep down alhaitham knew it wasn't fair of him to throw his exhaustion and tiredness on you, reversing in the same conditions as him, but he couldn't stand your lecture about self care when you were the first to not follow your own advice. he loved you and hated the state you were in because of work. and yet he threw all of his logical stuff shit out of the window the moment you retorted.

you, on the other hand, were left bewildered by his harsh words. he knew what you were going through, working your ass off to finally be acknowledged by the higher-ups and see your dreams realised. you felt your breath hitching in your throat and your eyes burning, but your pride stopped you from bursting out crying in front of your boyfriend. crying would have meant giving it up and you didn't want that, you wanted him to recognise your hard work.

«you're not better than me, alhaitham, otherwise you would be sleeping by now. say, how many cups of coffee did you gobble down?» your voice got higher than your usual tone, and he noticed it way too well. his hand itched to go up to his headphones and turn on the soundproof option, but he desisted. if you wanted a fight, he would have given you the fight of your lives.

«and when did this conversation slip on me when you are the one who has it worse?»

«i have it worse because i'm trying to fulfill my dreams, mister "i have it all easy-peasy lemon-squeezy"!»

«as if i have ever wanted to hold the position of acting grand sage. it's a pain in the ass dealing with all these stupid and arrogant scholars.»

«and there you go again with that awful attitude of yours! do you even hear yourself? they're working so hard and you don't even acknowledge it!»

«like you never got acknowledged for your efforts, pushing you to this point?»

that last sentence of his went over the invisible line neither of you ever had the courage to pass. if first your voices came to a yelling mess that could be heard through the whole city, now the house was dead silent. in that silence alhaitham's eyes widened when he registered what he had said, but it was too late to apologise. the tears you fought to hold back during the argument finally escaped, streaming down your warm cheeks. your lips trembled and before your lover could say something, you talked first.

«you're a bastard, alhaitham.» a sob interrupted you, but you didn't care. «you're an insensitive bastard that can't and doesn't want to go past his nose because who cares if others are struggling? i'm not, it's none of my problem.» you managed to retort even in the middle of your hiccups.

you gave your back to your boyfriend, who was standing still, frozen on the spot. you walked away, out of the house, while he could do nothing but watching your figure disappearin the late night.

his lips trembled, but bit them to stop. his head fell down.

the front door closed with a loud slam.

——————————————————————

you ran back to the akademiya, but instead of going to your office you went for the pavilion outside, the lower level of it where almost nobody ever went. it was quiet, facing the city outskirts, and it was away from the home you shared with alhaitham.

your cried all your tears on your way, your cheeks now dry and sticky. swallowing the annoying knot in your throat, you took a sit on the edge of the empty pavilion, legs casually swinging in the void beneath. luckily for you it was a somewhat warm night, so you didn't have to worry about getting a jacket (as if you didn't forget about it anyway).

your lips were still trembling, the whistle in your ears now replaced by the harsh words alhaitham threw at you. was it true that you never got acknowledged because you didn't work hard enough? or was it because you weren't smart enough? what did the akademiya consider you? average? mediocre? barely above the standard? but you surely had something, otherwise you would have been expelled long ago with the reason of dragging down the prestigious name of the sumeru akademiya.

you started feeling cold not from the night breeze, but from the painful realisation that, maybe, you weren't enough. your heart ached in your chest at the thought. did you just waste years and years of your youth for a dream that had no chance to become true from the beginning? were all of your efforts worth nothing in the akademiya's eyes?

you were so immersed in your thoughts that you didn't hear footsteps approaching from behind. you jumped on the spot when a piece of clothing was draped over your shoulders, covering your shaking figure. your head snapped up only to meet with alhaitham's gaze, one you had never seen in all of your years of dating him: a gaze filled with sorrow and remorse.

«can i take a sit?» his voice was low, gentle.

you nodded and he sat beside you, his legs joining yours in swinging over the edge. you pulled his cape tighter around you, now aware of the coldness that was taking over your exhausted body.

silence filled your surroundings for a while, only the gentle flow of a river in the distance occupying your ears. you didn't know what to say nor where to start, and alhaitham had never been good with words when it came to feelings and such. sure, he improved thanks to you, but his lack of experience was evident. it had been painfully evident in that fight of a couple of hours ago, too.

«you were right, i am indeed a bastard, but my inability to look over my nose, as you said, is the last reason for that. even if i acknowledged your struggles and had to watch you crumble under the amount of pressure and expectations the higher-ups have on you, instead of helping you and give you comfort, i hit you were you are most vulnerable. that indeed makes me a bastard, one that doesn't deserve someone as good as you in his life. but still, i do hope you can forgive me. is that selfish?»

you waited for alhaitham to finish his little speech before raising your gaze and look at him. you could read all the tiredness that got a hold of him and had the best of him and his usual calm self. his eyes were curved down, his brilliant teal-orange hue dulled by regret. his lips were pale and bitten, pressed in a thin line.

«i won't say you're not, but i also don't want you to think that those words i said are entirely true.» your voice was still hoarse from crying, so you cleared your throat before continuing. «i'm sorry for what i said, i wasn't in my right mind. it's just that... maybe you're right, i'm not good enough for the akademiya and that's why i never got acknowledged.» you sank your face in your hands, hiding from your boyfriend.

alhaitham, however, was having none of it. he took your hands in his and pushed them away, then grabbed your chin and forced you to look at him in the eyes.

«that's not true. you're one of the smartest women i've ever met, and they were really few. you have a way with words that's hard to describe, your passion for research admirable and an example for many. you know when to stop to be respectful of the limits that we, as humans, have. it's the akademiya that's made of arrogant and noisy scholars who can't recognise a gem when they're holding one, not you not being enough for an institution made of corruption and greed.»

his lips met your forehead, his words digging holes in your brain, putting roots in there. he was right, he was so goddamn right. you were smart, you were curious, you were knowledgeable, you were respectful. you had all the qualities of a proper scholar, so how the hell did you think you weren't enough? you were even too much, but it would have been a freezing day in sumeru city before you were going to give up on your dreams.

your body though, reminded you you have been way too self-neglecting to start a war with the higher-ups and fuck them over, for now at least.

your hands slipped away from alhaitham's to find themselves on his cheeks, cupping his handsome face. you pulled him down for a kiss, one that was much needed. his arms found rest around your waist, chests pressed together and foreheads touching.

you needed a vacation, and so did alhaitham. you two needed to destress away from the akademiya and spend some quality time together, in each other's arms after neglecting your needs and desires as a couple for too long. and you also needed to stand your grounds and show the akademiya who you were and what you were made of.

there would be time for that, though. for now, you only needed alhaitham, his gentle touch and his sweet kisses, his comfort and his reassurance that he would be there for you to help and support you, as much as he needed the same from you. he may be the almighty genius that saved sumeru and held a knowledge many would kill to have, but in your arms, he was nothing more than a man driven by love and devotion for you and your persona.

#✧༄ཾ┊ azaliyas #✧༄ཾ┊ azaliya's paperwork #genshin headcanons #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #genshin angst #genshin comfort #alhaitham x reader

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transmutationisms · 8 months

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i have a handful of anonymous asks in my inbox right now asking about harm reduction as applied to eating disorders that their loved ones are experiencing. i'm not answering these individually, both because it would get repetitive and because i don't know your loved ones and can't give them personal advice, but i did want to say a few general things on this topic.

the basic principles of harm reduction are the same in regards to EDs as anything else. the point here is not to force a person to stop doing something dangerous (this is impossible) or even to pressure them to stop (this also doesn't work, and will often have the effect of making you into a person they don't feel safe around and can't turn to for help, thus actually decreasing their access to support and resources). instead, the goal of harm reduction generally is to give people the knowledge and resources they need to engage in risky behaviours as safely as possible. the reasons people do things that are physically or socially harmful to them vary, obviously, but in general these behaviours are serving some purpose in the person's life, like providing emotional 'blunting' they need to deal with otherwise intolerable circumstances, or meeting a physical need for specific substances. harm reduction meets people where they are, beginning with the premise that they deserve basic respect, dignity, and self-determination, whether or not they continue to engage in behaviours that may be endangering them.

some baseline harm reduction strategies for EDs could include:

take necessary safety precautions if (over)exercise is a feature of the disorder, or if you are at risk for fainting; ideally, have someone around (or reachable by phone) who can help in case of injury

do your best to compensate for any micronutrient deficiencies resulting from food restriction; dietary supplementation may be necessary

know if any substances/pharmaceuticals you may use (recreationally or not) can affect you more strongly, faster, or more dangerously on an empty stomach; here, harm reduction for EDs will overlap with harm reduction for drug use

know the signs of electrolyte imbalance and resultant cardiac events, particularly in EDs involving purging by laxative use or self-induced vomiting; keep a stockpile of items like sports drinks/gels that can rapidly replenish electrolytes; know where to seek emergency medical treatment and how to recognise when it may be vitally necessary

monitor long-term health risks, like bone density loss, tooth enamel damage, hyperglycaemia (in cases of diabulimia), &c. note that both this step and the above require finding medical practitioners who will treat patients non-judgmentally and without threat of institutionalisation

....and so forth.

harm reduction plans are highly individualised: they depend on the person's own goals and desires. a harm reduction plan might include strategies for engaging in ED behaviours less frequently or intensely, and may even include a long-term goal of recovery. however, harm reduction has not 'failed' if the person doesn't want to, or can't, reduce frequency or severity of behaviours right now or ever. ED harm reduction that does include goals for reducing behaviours, without necessarily trying to eliminate them entirely, might include strategies like:

purge less frequently; avoid or reduce flushing and chew/spit

reduce food restriction by raising calorie limits, not counting calories at all, eating certain 'fear foods', &c

identify triggers for restriction, binging/purging, &c; try to avoid those triggers (& possibly enlist assistance doing this)

ask someone trusted to eat with you if this would help you, for example, become more comfortable with eating non-restrictively, and turn eating into a social connection rather than a stressful event

consume a sufficient amount of food regularly and consistently <- this is the bedrock of all recovery work

again, though, the particular strategies in a person's harm reduction plan will depend on what they want to implement and are capable of doing right now. a person who's not ready for any step that asks them to engage in fewer behaviours, or to engage in behaviours less frequently, can still benefit from a harm reduction approach if they're interested. this is a conversation that should always be approached non-judgmentally and with the understanding that any harm reduction plan depends on the person's own capacities and goals. harm reduction is not about telling someone else what would be 'best' for them in an 'ideal' world. it's about meeting them where they are right now.

something important to note about EDs is that efforts to restrict food and food groups and to shrink body size are considered extremely common and 'normal' in much of the contemporary popular culture, and are frequently encouraged and prescribed by medical practitioners. this means that even when you are worried about someone with a self-endangering ED, there is often a considerable risk that, in trying to help them, you might still be promoting or acceding to the same fatphobic logic that can fuel the ED. if you, for instance, think that pursuing intentional weight loss is generally benign or healthy; if you have ideas about what size a person's body 'should' be based on things like actuarial charts; if you think that some foods are universally 'bad' and need to be restricted or eliminated; if you think that food should be 'earned' or compensated for by physical activity—stop, do not pass go, and do not try to dispense any kind of advice, harm reduction or otherwise, to someone struggling with an ED. you are not capable of being a resource here unless and until you are committed to a politics of fat liberation, disability rights, mad liberation, and anti-racism. you are not reducing harm if you are contributing to further entrenching the cultural beliefs and economic mechanisms of fatphobia and body fascism that the ED itself thrives on.

(**i am not saying that all EDs start or end with the desire to be thin as articulated through white supremacist body ideals, but it is a very common feature at this moment in history, and having these ideas reinforced, including through the lens of medical fatphobia, can certainly contribute to or worsen already-present behaviours and thought patterns where EDs are concerned.)

harm reduction also means giving a person the knowledge they need to evaluate their own goals and needs. in regards to EDs specifically, lots of public health communication is confounded by industry-funded diet and 'obesity' research that prescribes food restriction, compensatory exercise, and other recognisably 'eating disordered' behaviours, especially to fat people. many people with EDs, and their loved ones, may not even realise how many misconceptions they have learned about body size, nutrition, and the health risks of EDs. some basic places to start learning about these things from a weight-neutral / fat-liberationist angle that i would suggest include: christy harrison's podcast 'food psych' (her book is also decent but treads a lot of the same ground); gwyneth olwyn's work; lindo bacon and lucy aphramor's papers on 'health at every size'; jennifer gaudiani's book 'sick enough', which is a good starter resource on the medical effects of EDs. note that none of these resources are working within an explicitly harm reductionist framework, and imo make some missteps in this arena! but they still contain insights and information that can be useful to those who are interested in harm reduction, and to those with EDs generally.

harm reduction can be a tool to recovery, or a step on that road; it can also be an alternative for people who are not ready to seek recovery, and who may never be ready. the reality is that you cannot force someone to stop engaging in behaviours they rely on to live, whether drug use, EDs, or anything else. harm reduction proceeds from this place and from a fundamental commitment to respect for people who are generally already suffering. when approaching a loved one, you may or may not be able to initiate a conversation in which you express, eg, that you are worried about them hurting themselves, and would like to offer whatever emotional or material resources you can to help. but you have to go into any such interaction understanding that they may very well already know all of the risks of what they're doing, and may have other reasons they can't or don't want to stop. if you're trying to impose your will on them---by force, pressure, or coercion---you're not doing harm reduction, and you're most likely alienating them and turning yourself into a person they don't feel safe around where these behaviours are concerned.

#harm reduction #eating disorders

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anameistoohard · 2 months

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Hello! We thought it might be good to have a pinned post so y'all can know a bit about us.

I guess start with the obvious thanks to that title: We are a we.

The bit less obvious: We are one person :p We learned we were a system in September 2022. There's a bunch of us in here but not everyone fronts. The ones that do often have a lot of identity confusion/blendyness so we don't usually specify who's speaking. If you don't know, you can refer to us by our host's name, Taylor, and her pronouns, she/her.

We are also a trans woman: Or at least... the body is? Taylor definitely is. The majority of us are girls/strongly fem leaning but we have some guys and enbies in here too. We started hrt in October 2021 so we were already a year into it when we learned about our system. After a lot of questioning we came to the consensus that we should continue hrt. The guys are willing to put up with it and overall we are quite happy with the changes.

Autism and dyslexia: These make our writing a bit stilted/disjointed sounding sometimes. The two of them combined can make socializing online exhausting, trying to figure out what to say and how to say it (anxiety is no help either). If we don't respond right away, or at all, just know we're sorry 💜

Art! The reason you're probably here lol: We create art in just about the most inefficient way possible, in ms Paint, where there are no layers, you can only rotate in 90° intervals, and if you try to resize a picture it becomes a blurry pixilated mess. And we do so without a drawing tablet. When we make pixel art we're manually placing squares one at a time. But there's something kind of soothing about this slow monotonous inefficiency. We mostly do pixel art, but sometimes we make comics, or just whatever we feel like making.

If you have any questions, this is an open invitation to ask: Curiosity is a good thing! Don't worry if you're using the "wrong" language or you think something might be too personal, as long as you're respectful and kind, feel free to ask us anything about us/our experiences/our art. If we don't want to answer we don't have to, so there's no harm in asking. Just please don't turn to us for links/resources, we're not good at keeping track of that kind of stuff.

Written by Mark (they/them), Danny (he/him), and Taylor (she/her)

(Edit: I guess we should mention we have a twitter too)

#We're friendly to all systems regardless of origin by the way #never pretend you understand someone's existence better than they do

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littlelookin · 10 days

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thoughts: 1 month diapered and meeting an AB

TW I DON'T CENSOR I JUST TYPE

brain blurb

it started with some simple messaging on fetlife. something felt strange, though, as i sent my number beyond quickly. the tone of voice conveyed via messages developed an image of a man i enjoyed and wanted to get to know.

we talked and it was smooth, not normal for conversations in this sector. he was respectful, "normal" (for lack of a better word to use)...he lined up where i was at in this wild world of kink. it can be so specific and individual to us i was beginning to feel the odd man out, the one in the middle, not necessarily fully kink but it still lingers there. in my interactions, i haven't found anybody that shares in that experience.

i invited him to dinner. i invited my first kinky friend to dinner under the premise of how we met. ever. i was floored with myself, semi disassociated, and frankly terrified. but i did it anyways. he came wearing. he came to my house *wearing*. needless to say, it was natural. he just did, i didn't ask.

for lack of a better word it was *my* "normal."

when comfort started to develop so did use of words. he said it was ok to touch his diaper in a mad mass of flesh snuggles. brain fried a little, but it happened.

for lack of a better word, it was *my* "normal."

i have no reasons as to why i am writing this other than i am happy. for the first time in my life, i have experienced so many things beyond just "happy"......I've experienced life in a way i did not think i could. I've experienced another human being in a way i did not think was possible, and i love it. suffering from mental issues most of my life, *that* was what would make me "unlovable," and he has the same issues. the *same* issues.

not having to explain one's self anymore is certainly something one can get used to.

he left, but the next day. he stayed and snuggled with me all night, which was unexpected....i expected to wake up alone the next morning which ok cool but....he stayed.

and he continued to stay. That is where my brain doesn't comprehend- the consistency in this like-minded human being, its something i cannot fathom due to my trauma and issues.

my issues stem from some sexual abuse as an infant, and that is why ABDL is important to me, but always with another human being. alone as we all know can make the isolation harder, and my experience in online interactions hasn't been the best making it harder to want to keep trying....I'm happy. i literally can be myself as myself around someone else.....this provides so much validation to the isolative voices in my head.

im sorry this is long, random, and jumbled....maybe it will get easier to make clearer later on...

hi. this is all i can get out for a one month in diapers lol.....

if you think it will make you happy and doesn't harm anyone, just try it. just fucking try it. tell yourself to fuck it if you're the one gaslighting yourself into depression and isolation. look yourself in the mirror and say go fuck yourself and *go do it anyways*.....

at 31 years of age, countless doctors, medications, therapies.....i just said fuck it one day and did it anyways.

diapers and age regression are also cheaper in the long run for me personally.

brain blurb

#mdlb relationship #agere caregiver #diaper training #ab dl lifestyle #ab dl diaper #diaper community

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weirdthinkingdragon · 8 months

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Tails Of Embrace (Fic)

half dragon Dan Heng X reader X half dragon Zhongli

Sorry, had female reader in mind while letting the idea flow through me. If anyone wants, they can make a male version or gn version their way. Be sure to tag me. I’d love to see your take on it!

Not proofread

Warnings: a bit of talk of different dragon-like anatomies, oral (reader receive), non-canon biology of both characters, praise, some swearing, growling, double vaginal, pet name “my dear”, multiple orgasms, fingering, overstimulation, tail fucked, biting, marking, no protection

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The relationship somehow starting was odd enough. But yet it’s a thing you, Zhongli, and Dan Heng wouldn’t have any other way.

Over time, them having their tails around you started to quickly become even more common than how often Asta impulsively buys something online.

Their tails are constantly within your proximity if they can’t be on or around you for one reason or another. They’re rather clingy and Zhongli has a bit of a violent streak when several things have tried to cause you harm in the past before. Oddly enough it’s Dan Heng that gets him back to himself enough to get restraint over his ways again. They seem especially bad the past month or so. The others are getting used to it by then and just letting it happen (Himeko finds it rather amusing/entertaining). Welt doesn’t seem to show any problem with it. March finds it extremely cute and has a possibly concerning amount of pictures of you three falling asleep on the couch together stored in her camera.

Dan Heng and Zhongli also almost always seem to have a crazy amount of understanding and respect between each other and know how to take turns in a way. One time while you’re all sitting down, Zhongli’s tail will be wrapped around your torso while Dan Heng settles with wrapping his tail around one of your legs, and the next time they switch.

It took some time to start sleeping together, but it grew to be sort of the same way. You try to not think back to how awkward it was at the beginning. Thankfully Zhongli is good at smoothing things over with how many years os types of experience in talking he’s had on his world. The only difference is one gets to keep their tail between your thighs for the time.

This time it was Zhongli. Lying down on the bigger bed Asta more than willingly bought for you three has made things a lot more comfortable. Before it was just Dan Heng’s little space area on the floor, but he finally accepted to come to the room with you and Zhongli. Himeko couldn’t have been happier about that day.

It’s been about half a year of being together. Zhongli knew what was starting to happen to him a week ago, but has somehow forgotten to ever bring it up. He had hoped leaving Teyvat would be what would cancel out his dragon ways, but being around you and Dan Heng made him realize especially now that his idea was fruitless.

The deep burning desire was just way too hard to shove away no matter how hard he tried and wanted to not do so, especially if you and Dan Heng aren’t ready yet.

But he just… he can’t help it or hold it any longer. Your now heightened smells to him mixed all together are driving him absolutely mad.

He still tries to hold himself together while you and Dan Heng enjoy the physical contact with each other and him yet again.

You and him laying on your right sides while Zhongli is on his left, facing you. Dan Heng laying behind you with his incredibly long tail wrapped a few times around your left leg by your ankle. He teasingly brushes the tip of his tail to tickle your leg from time to time.

Zhongli doesn’t even notice he starts doing it, but his tail between your legs starts to rub at your pussy, earning a surprised squeak from you louder than the one that comes out with Dan Heng suddenly brushing his tail tip against your leg.

“What was that sound for? I didn’t tickle your leg this time.” His voice asks from behind. It is still so rather monotone that if you didn’t know him better you’d probably think he wasn’t curious, yet you could tell he was.

“Zhongli! What was that for?”

It was only then that he noticed was his tail was doing.

“Ah, well… I was hoping that leaving Teyvat would help stop what is happening now, but I suppose one’s nature is going to follow them wherever they go.” He takes his tail out from between your legs, though he really doesn’t want to. The warmth feels so incredibly good. Being so close just makes him want to indulge in even closer proximity.

“It’s with me being a dragon from my world, essentially. To put it simply, I’m going into a heat.”

Your mind stalls when taking in that information. It’s something you never really thought about until now.

“Your kind has those in your world?” Dan Heng asks.

“Yours don’t?” The slight change in his tone made it known he was quite curious about the other world’s different customs.

“Not really. A rare few seem to, but most don’t. At least not anymore. It’s something that changed over a very long period of time.”

“Oh?” He involuntarily rubs his tail between your legs again. “It seems we’ve much to know of each other as of yet then.”

His tail rubbing you felt good. Possibly too good. You hold in a groan that tries to slip out.

Upon looking at Zhongli now, he has a very strong blush on his face. He’s so flushed he almost looks drunk. In a way, he is. He’s solely drunk on you even though almost nothing has happened yet.

You’ve thought about the more intimate things that might come later in the relationship with the two of them, but you weren’t expecting quite this soon. Your mind starts to wander and run wild with the thoughts of what might happen soon. You’re more than ready and want to further the relationship of you three, but are unsure of Dan Heng’s thoughts on it.

Little do you know that now Dan Heng knows what Zhongli is going through, it’s also starting to affect him with the idea of mating you. To make you fully and truly only theirs to mark and give insurmountable pleasure.

Also, with how close you and Dan Heng are, he can also slightly feel Zhongli’s tail rubbing on his dick.

Dan Heng wraps his arms around your waist to pull you closer, trapping the tip of Zhongli’s tail between your ass and his slightly starting to bulge dick.

It was like a silent agreement between the three of you that you all want to go on.

Dan Heng decides to check to make sure the door to the room is locked. The last thing needed is someone trying to come in for one reason or another. He gets up and goes to check the door while you and Zhongli sit up. You grab Zhongli’s tail and start slowly yet gently rubbing your hands up and down the sides of it, making it twitch in your hold and eliciting a deep groan to come out of his throat. That groan alone set you and Dan Heng off more.

He comes back and sits behind you again, pulling you to sit up with him, which makes Zhongli sit up as well.

Zhongli kneels and reaches for your shorts. Before you can even blink, he temporarily loses control and rips your shorts and underwear off in one go with his hands that are growing sharper into much more like claws.

It makes you let out a sound of surprise.

Zhongli did truly feel a bit bad if he scared you. “A-ah, I do apologize. I seem to have gotten a bit… carried away. It’s so hard to control myself around you, especially right now.” He glances down at your pussy, knowing what he strongly wants to do before anything else. Taste you. Really taste you. Smell you. Make it feel like there’s no escape from your scent. Not like he’d ever want to be away from it in the first place.

His pupils turn more into slits, and his face changes to show an extreme amount of lust and sheer need. His eyes almost look like they change to a faintly glowing liquid gold.

The lustful expression is radiating so strongly that you can feel his intentions even without thinking about it.

He lowers himself to his stomach to be at eye level with the most sacred part of you. Who is he kidding? Every single minute detail about you is sacred to him and Dan Heng as well. He grabs your thighs and places your legs over his shoulders, surrounding himself with you. The burning desire searing through him already becoming insanely uncomfortable.

Just looking at your unmarked thighs has his mind going absolutely wild thinking of leaving his bite marks all over. He caves and does start biting your thighs. The teeth marks left on your thighs right by your pussy makes him let out a pleased hiss and a small grin on his face.

Dan Heng cages the rest of you with his legs. He pulls your sleep shirt up to take it off. You lift your arms with no objections.

However, once the shirt is off, you try to cover yourself feeling a bit embarrassed.

Neither of them was having that. Dan Hang makes your arms go down and wraps his tail around your stomach, keeping your hands trapped as well. Knowing you can’t move your arms turns you on more than you think it should.

Zhongli takes a deep breath in. “Fuck- It’s hard to hold back. I can’t. I need to taste you, my dear.” And with that, his more slender tongue slips through your folds without much resistance.

His deep growl of approval of your taste sends a shiver down your spine. He pushes rather firmly on your clit before going down and pushing to move around your G-spot before coming back out and rubbing your clit rather firmly again. Your body tries to jerk, but it has nowhere to move with a tail being snugly wrapped around you, your legs being over shoulders, and your thighs being carefully held by clawed hands.

The only thing you can do is grab his horns that were within reach of your small remaining window of possible movement. You clench your hands around his horns tightly.

Zhongli lets out a chuckle. "If we knew you had such an obsession with our horns, we would have more than gladly allowed you to touch them, you know?” He teases.

Dan Heng gently grabs your head to turn towards him a bit more and kisses you deeply, having his hands wander from the top of your shoulders towards your chest, cupping them then running his thumbs over your nipples, turning it into rubbing them. He asks for entrance of your mouth by running his tongue over your lips. You gladly allow him access.

He slips his tongue in and swallows every moan you let out, enjoying your muffled sound and vibrations of your own mouth on his.

You can feel Dan Heng’s dick quite quickly bulging more and pressing more on your ass with each minute that ticks by, but that gets harder to focus on as the pleasure becomes overbearing and the only possible thing you can think about. That coil is becoming close to coming undone and your body heating up exponentially.

Dan Heng knows you’re close as your body tries to jerk more harshly than before. He grabs your nipples between his fingers and pinches them rather harshly, bringing that wave of pleasure to burst and come crashing down.

You cum hard all over Zhongli’s face. It was the most intense orgasm by far that you’ve ever had in your life.

Zhongli lets out another deep growl of approval feeling your juices get all over his face. Your scent being all around him now makes him want to fuck you so badly. His pants are super tight and very uncomfortable. Probably also soaked with a lot of precum. He has to hold himself back from taking you right there though. You’re not quite ready yet. Plus, he also wants something else in you to help stretch your pussy for him since he can’t exactly finger you right now. His tail tip flicks in anticipation.

He locks eyes with Dan Heng. “Would you mind helping me prepare her?”

Dan Heng doesn’t have to be asked twice. He gives a final grope to your left breast and slowly trails his hand down to your stomach, to slowly down in front of your pussy. Giving Zhongli a little anticipating show on the way.

He watches with great interest as Dan Heng’s two fingers slowly go into you, splitting open and moving around to let out loud wet squelches that are like music to his ears.

Dan Heng slowly pushes them inside you up to his knuckles, opening his fingers to show deeper inside you as well as stretch you a bit, then closes his fingers and twists them to your g-spot.

He hungrily watches Dan Heng repeat his movements and gets to watch your facial expressions this time every time his hand moves in a way you like.

Dan Heng eventually adds a third finger, making you arch your back into his hand.

He doesn’t quite let you reach your peak into another orgasm, making you miss feeling something in you immediately when he pulls out his fingers. It was at that moment you knew what you wanted.

They wait for a moment to let your body calm down a bit from you looking like there’s something you want to say.

You manage to collect your thoughts. “I… I want both of you at once.”

Zhongli and Dan Heng share a concerned look with each other before looking back at you. “Are you sure?” Zhongli asks.

You nod. You do desperately want both no matter what. They’re your everything. And neither deserves to be left out.

There’s a slick mess all over your lower body, and it just keeps coming out. Zhongli moves his tail to your opening and swipes up some of your juices before pushing a bit inside. The feel of his tail is a bit strange, but not unpleasant. The stretch of the rest of it makes you focus more on that though.

Zhongli cups your face and leans in to kiss you deeply. And just like Dan Heng, you gladly give him access. He’s almost panting with how hard he’s restraining himself, but he knows waiting to the end will be the highest reward.

Dan Heng goes back to playing with your nipples and leans down to nibble on your neck. His hot, uneven breath shows how needy he’s getting as well. He also can’t hold it any longer and brings the tip of his tail down to be with Zhongli’s. He wraps his with Zhongli’s making them both shiver and pushing his inside to join Zhongli’s.

Two tails being inside you give a bit of an uncomfortable stretch. You all three moan. Them from how tightly your pussy is clenching their tails and how warm you are, and you with how full their tails alone are making you feel.

They slowly move around to fully stretch you as much as possible. Your pussy tightening around them making it rather difficult.

Dan Heng goes right by your ear. “It’s alright. Just- ngh. Just let go.”

“You’re doing a fantastic job so far with us. You feel phenomenal, my -ngh, my dear.”

They do a few light thrusts from time to time and still try to move around a bit inside you. However, their last remaining patience is waning very quickly. They strongly just want to be in you, to embrace you at the same time.

Dan Heng reaches down and rubs your clit harshly until another orgasm is ripped out of you, greatly tightening around their tails.

They let you catch your breath again for a moment and think you’re finally ready and slowly pull their soaked tail tips out.

Dan Heng finally lets you out of the rest of his tail and takes off his clothes. So does Zhongli. Being able to see their fully naked bodies for the first time sends you into an overdrive of need you didn’t even know you had.

They are no better as they fully get to stare at you as well. It doesn’t take long though as Zhongli pulls you to stand up and hoists you to wrap your legs around his waist. You feel his large dick right against your pussy.

Zhongli is in absolute bliss being able to feel only your full skin and body heat against his. “You ready for us, dear?” He asks still a bit out of breath.

You nod and that’s all he needed before he couldn’t wait any longer and slowly started to press his dick against your pussy until it easily went in. He kept pushing in until his dick was fully sheathed and let out another very satisfied sound of what somehow sounded like a mix of a hiss and a moan.

One dick alone made you feel rather filled. But that’s not what you or they want. You want to be fully filled. And they want what you want.

Dan Heng comes behind you and helps you stay on Zhongli by giving a bit of back support. His dick also near your entrance. He grabs your hips and slowly presses his in for you to slightly adjust.

They both suck in a breath through their clenched teeth at how tight you are with the both of them and how they feel being pressed against each other inside.

It’s a bit more unbearable than you thought it would be, and they both can sense your discomfort. Even after they stretched you out with their tails, that was nothing in comparison with their dicks. It honestly hurt quite a bit never having double so large in your pussy.

Zhongli brings up one of his hands to your face and brings his forehead to lightly press against yours. You can feel his horns press against your head. He stays like that to try to comfort you.

“It’s okay, we won’t move until you tell us. Just try to ease your body. We’ll take care of the rest.” He kisses the left side of your neck.

It does take a little bit, but the pain and the discomfort soon becomes nothing but pleasure and a delightful fullness.

You grab onto Zhongli’s horns again.

Zhongli would gladly admit it if asked, but he absolutely loves you grabbing on his horns. Only you though. No one else ever can, except Dan Heng. But he doesn't think Dan Heng would unless asked. “Can we take that as the go-ahead?”

You let out a nod. “Y-yeah.”

They quickly set a rather fast pace. Zhongli more so for finally being able to give in to his heat. Almost at a brutal pace, but neither you nor Dan Heng mind it.

Dan Heng feels so good that instinctively his much longer tail wraps around you and Zhongli, sandwiching the three of you closer into the same movements.

Your pussy is never left empty as one pulls out to thrust back in, the other is already in to pull out and thrust again.

Their cocks rubbing against each other making it feel even better in your already tight pussy to you and to them.

Dan Heng quickens his pace not too long after to partially match Zhongli’s as well. His tail tightens around you and Zhongli a bit more, making your chest rub against Zhongli’s with every thrust, making him go even deeper into his heat craze.

Zhongli can feel himself getting close fast. Dan Heng and your’s moans and sounds, the wet squelching of your pussy with both of them, and both of your skin against his is driving him mad to breaking point.

He leans down and sinks his teeth into the right side of your neck and lets out a muffled roar as he cums. His cum almost seems endless as it just keeps flooding into you. Much of it falling to the floor. His hips jolt with every rub of Dan Heng’s dick rubbing against his, but he refuses to pull out though his dick is now sensitive.

The extra warmth and lubricant of Zhongli’s cum brings Dan Heng to his end sooner than later. He’s getting really close so he brings his hand down to your clit yet again and rubs rough circles.

Your hips buck greatly too, clit still sensitive from the previous orgasm and clit rubbing.

That coil unravels and yet another earth-shattering orgasm is ripped out of you. This one is even more powerful than the others.

You cumming and clenching around the two of them makes Dan Heng cum as well with a loud moan that he managed to stop by biting the other side of your neck.

The three of you stay in place to catch your breaths.

Dan Heng can’t remember ever feeling this way. He’s glad that this won’t be a one-time thing.

Just looking at you and Dan Heng this way was making his dick hard again. He hopes you and Dan Heng can handle a few more rounds. It will take more than that one time for his heat to go away.

“After you both rest a bit… ready for another round?”

You and Dan Heng can feel him hardening again.

It’s going to be a long night apparently.

Well, heats sure are fun.

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An- A second fic of Zhongli giving oral to reader. I am not sorry >:-) I also tried my best. Idk if I’m very good at NSFW yet lol. Sorry if the view thing was a bit confusing, still trying to figure out writing things not in first person pov.

tags: @satosugumyfuckingbeloveds

@iruiji

@esthelily

#genshin #x reader #genshin impact #zhongli genshin x reader #dragon zhongli x reader #dragon zhongli #x you #dragon dan heng x reader #dragon dan heng #dan heng #star rail x reader #honkai star rail #inbibitor lunae #dan heng bibitor lunae

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