Tumgik
#but these three really affected me personally
kamiversee · 3 days
Text
Sharing Is Caring ꨄ (part 1/3)
Tumblr media
[ { Synopsis } ] ➤ Sure, your boyfriend Choso gets jealous from time to time but that doesn’t mean you have the right to put him on sex-ban. Hence why he’ll show you he actually has no issues with sharing you (with a certain person).
[ { Need to know } ] ➤This is a What-If scenario that stems from my fic; The F*ck List— A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt.
[ { Content & Warning } ] ➤ f!reader, lots of teasing and taunting, language, heavy sexual tension, buildup to a threesome, & two guys who are completely infatuated with you ^.^
[ { Parings } ] ➤ Choso x f!reader & Gojo x f!reader.
[ { Word Count } ] ➤ 6.7k
Tumblr media
“Oh my god Choso, shut up,” You whined, brows tense and eyes narrowed at your boyfriend who you’ve been arguing with for the past twenty minutes.
Choso scoffs, “Excuse me?” He tests, trying to see if he really heard what you just said to him, “Wanna repeat that f’me?”
With an annoyed roll of your eyes, “I said shut up. You just got home and you’re already starting up with this shit again. Choso, I’m not taking you off of sex-ban.”
Dating Choso is… an experience, to say the least. Sure, he’s a wonderful boyfriend and overall the perfect man for you but, that doesn’t mean you two don’t have your arguments or periods of being upset with one another.
Again, he’s amazing and all but there are times like now where you and him really get into it. He’s stressed out and you’re frustrated— both of which don’t make the best combination.
You’re standing by his living room couch watching him tug off his jacket. Choso’s face is ticked off but he won’t stop looking at you. As for you, your eyes are everywhere else except for his.
“Baby, it’s been three weeks. Three,” He emphasizes, “I can go without sex perfectly fine but you barely even touch me now.”
“Well this is what you get for being an overly jealous boyfriend,” You say with a scoff.
Choso cocks his head to the side and his eyes narrow, “What was I supposed to do that day, huh? Just sit there and watch some guy openly flirt with you like I’m not standing right next to you?”
“You’re being dramatic,” You tell him bluntly, arms crossing over one another, “I told you numerous times before, that if you kept up the jealous act I’d put you on sex-ban, and now; here we are and you’re complaining about it.”
“It’s not the sex-ban, baby. Did you even hear what I just said?” Choso asks. He then takes a single step closer to where you are, “You don’t touch me, hug me, or even kiss me as much anymore and it’s been three weeks.”
A nonchalant little shrug is given to him, “Maybe if you didn’t scold your girlfriend for someone else’s actions, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now-“
“I already apologized for that so I don’t understand why I’m not receiving any sort of affection from you,” Choso cuts off. As he nears you, his hand goes down to his belt and he starts to unbuckle it, clearly unwinding after his long day of work.
Your eyes just barely glance over to him and down at his hands fumbling with his belt. Then, you scan your boyfriend up and down and mentally curse yourself for being upset with him right now because fuck is he too attractive for his own good.
You swallow thickly and lift your gaze to his face, only to meet his eyes already on yours. For a moment, you maintain eye contact but then, you glance off to the side again, “Because all sorts of affection always lead to something more and I banned you from sex for a reason,” You explain with a sigh.
“Yeah well, how long do I have to go through this hell, huh?” He asks, tone stern and aggravated with you.
“Hell?” You scoff, “Choso you know there are other things to our relationship outside of sex-“
“Clearly you’re not hearin’ me,” He cuts off yet again, shaking his head at you as he tugs his belt off and walks even closer to you.
Unconsciously, you take a step back and Choso kisses his teeth as you do so before he tosses his belt on the couch along with the jacket he recently took off.
With a long sigh, Choso brings a hand up to his face and wipes it, as if that’ll help him focus his thoughts. Then, he voices out your name and you tense up a little, “It’s not about the sex,” He says yet again, slowly turning his head to you, “You don’t touch me anymore. Do you know how depriving that is?”
You shrug again, “It’s not the first time you’ve gone without my touch Choso, get over it-“
“Baby you practically live with me now,” He interrupts, “I wake up in the same bed as you almost every morning and when I try to hug you, you’re pulling away from me.”
“Again, every touch leads to something else,” You repeat, frustrated with your boyfriend and how he’s making such a big deal out of this.
Choso’s eyes narrow and a vein pops out in his forehead, “Do you think I lack that much self-control? If you put me on sex-ban then you put me on sex-ban. I have enough restraint to respect that, princess.”
You release a huff, “Okay, well-“
“Well what?” He cuts off impatiently.
Your face twists up, “Well if you’d let me—,” You blink and notice how close he’s gotten to you, your head angling up just a bit to make eye contact with him as he stands hardly an inch away from you. God, he smells good, “F-Finish…” You gulp, “I-I’m not an idiot Choso, you and I both know that self-control or no, when you’re pent up, you get more needy and I always let you have your way.”
“Are you listening to anything I’m saying to you?” Choso asks, head tipping to the side for a moment before he’s leaning down to you, “No seriously, are you rendering the words coming out of my mouth, love?” He asks almost in a way that makes you feel small.
A scowl washes over your expression as your eyes meet his once more, “Yes I’m rendering the words coming out of your mouth, Choso. Are you comprehending anything I’m saying to you?”
“I am.” He hums.
“Okay then why are we still having this conversation?” You ask in a dull tone, voice a bit softer now that he’s all close to you.
Choso cracks a little smirk but he still sounds annoyed, “Because you haven’t laid a finger on me in five days.”
“Choso-“
“That’s a hundred and twenty hours without a single touch from you,” He explains, eyes boring into yours.
Your brows raise and you snicker, “You can’t be serious-“
“It’s been seven days since I last felt your arms around me,” He continues, his body inching closer to your own.
You don’t move away this time and simply keep your eyes directly on his, “Why are you keeping track?”
“Sixteen days since you last kissed me,” Choso recalls, his voice getting lower.
“Oh come on-“
His hand is suddenly placed on your waist and he tugs your body up against his, “And three weeks since we’ve had sex.”
Your breath hitches a bit as your chest clashes with his and you keep your arms and hands everywhere except on him, pretty much proving all the points he just made.
Were you really trying not to touch Choso for the past three weeks? Yes. Is that because you’re worried about him getting carried away? No, you’re worried about you getting carried away. You know Choso has self-control but, it’s you who lacks it sometimes.
Swallowing hard, “Choso…” You murmur carefully.
“Baby I’m starved,” He nearly groans out, both his arms wrapping around your waist while his face inclines toward your own, “I need something from you-, anything.”
You bite down on your lower lip and stare at your boyfriend’s face. He’s so close to you, so desperate for you— it was cute how needy he was.
Purposefully, you lean closer to him and his eyes sink to your lips immediately as they nearly press into his own. Then, you stop a hair away from him, teasing him-, torturing him, “Not until you fix your jealousy issue,” You whisper to the man.
Oh Choso’s losing his mind right now. The urge he has to just press his lips into your plush ones is simply killing him. The arms around your waist tighten and his eyes are pleading with you.
“Baby please?” Choso begs, voice laced with the faintest whine.
You nearly folded at the sound of his begging. Hell, your eyelids began to lower and you wanted to kiss him just as badly as he wanted a kiss from you. You know just one won’t hurt but the fact that it’s been three weeks worries you.
He’s not the only one all pent up and starved, nor does he have any idea how horny you’ve been the past few weeks.
There was a day he came home from the gym and you watched him snatch his sweaty shirt off his body. You swore you were drooling for your boyfriend at the time because he’d been working out excessively just for you.
That was the last day you ended up kissing Choso because as soon as he went and showered, you were all over him. It was hard to control yourself when he smelled so good and his hair was all loose and damp with water— soft groans leaving his throat every time you pressed your lips to his jaw.
You’d be lying if you said you weren’t considering eating him up that day. But, you managed to get ahold of yourself at the time and just barely pried your body away from his.
As of right now on the other hand… Your hands are carefully lifting to his arms, gently feeling his muscles through his clothes as your faces remain close to one another.
You wanted to kiss him so badly. It won’t hurt, right?
Slowly, your arms lift up even more and soon wrap around his neck— to which Choso’s breathing picks up and his heart rate increases. The smallest touches from you were already driving him crazy and his hands began to explore your back a little.
“Just one,” You whisper to the man, “One kiss, okay?”
Choso’s nodding eagerly, “Okay.”
The two of you are leaning in, anticipation bubbling in the pits of both of your stomachs as your lips gaze his and he gets the faintest touch of your skin— only to be interrupted by the sudden buzzing of your phone in your pocket.
You pull away and glance down and Choso swears his eye twitches. He was so close, he almost felt your lips again, your pretty soft and heaven-sent lips almost touched his, and yet someone had the nerve to interrupt.
Choso groans and you try to reach in your pocket for your phone but he suddenly smacks your hand away and reaches in your pocket himself.
You frown, “Choso-“
“Who’s callin’ us?” He cuts off. He sounds more pissed off than he was earlier.
The second his eyes lay on the contact written across your screen, he scoffs. The timing couldn’t have been better.
You move to try and see what he’s looking at but Choso shifts his hand on you and pushes your body away.
“Choso what the hell? Who’s calling-“
“You said I’ve been too jealous of a boyfriend, right?” Choso interrupts, his lips curving into a faint smirk before he lifts his gaze to you.
You nod slowly and wearily, “Y-Yeah, but what does that have to do with whoever’s calling m-“
“I’ll answer it for you, baby,” Choso says sweetly before flashing you a smile.
Your brows pinch together and you blink, “Who is it-“
He ignores your question and lifts the phone to his ear, “Hello?”
Someone speaks back to him but you’ve got no idea who.
“Ohhh, you called on accident? Yeah, no, I get that, happens to the best of us,” Choso hums with a shrug.
He seems all too calm and casual about this so you’re mentally trying to figure out who the hell could’ve called you to where your boyfriend is talking so calmly.
You just stand and watch in confusion for a minute as he continues his conversation.
“Yeah, that’s me,” Choso chuckles a bit but there’s a slight vein peeping against his jawline, “Nah man you’re fine. Actually, since I’ve got you on the phone, can I ask you somethin’?”
Your eyes widen and your heart is beating all over the damn place. Slowly, you try to get closer to your boyfriend, “Choso, who-“
He cuts you off by placing a single finger to your lips, quite literally shushing you. You’re taken back by his action and ticked off by his rude gesture.
“You used to fuck my girlfriend, right?” The man questions bluntly. Your entire face gets hot and you’re not sure if that’s because you’re pissed off or because you’re flustered.
Who the hell could he be talking to? Suguru? No, Choso doesn’t get along with him that well… Who else has your number that you’ve-
Gojo.
Your eyes go wide and you move to reach for your phone and snatch it from Choso’s hand but he swiftly and smoothly evades your attempt, mockingly scoffing at you.
“Choso what the hell is wrong with you? Give me my phone-“
Your boyfriend smiles at you. He finds entertainment in how ticked off you are and it only makes you angrier. Especially when he shakes his head no and moves away from you.
Then he has the nerve to laugh, “Yes, I do know the answer to that already. But my question still stands and I’d like to hear it from you since I have you on the phone,” Choso speaks.
You’re still following him around and trying to get your phone from him but he just moves and weaves all of your reaches.
“Yeahh see? There’s the confidence I was lookin’ for,” He says to the male over the phone, “So…” Choso makes eye contact with you and your heart sinks as his words come out, “Wanna do it again?”
The man on the call chokes on air so loudly that even you hear it despite not being near the phone. Then you hear a nervous chuckle, one that’s all too familiar to you.
You fold your arms at your boyfriend, who simply winks at you. “Choso, what are you-“
“Shut up,” He says to you sternly, “You said I’m too jealous of a boyfriend so now I’m trying to change that.”
“By being a fuckin’ asshole?” You spit out to him, both confused and annoyed by everything right now.
“No,” Choso negates, smiling sweetly at you again, “By calling someone over to please my pretty lil’ girlfriend since she won’t let me do it.”
You blink, “What? Choso-“
“Huh? What was that?” He interrupts, his attention back on the phone call, “Yes I was being serious. I-, oh…” His expression dips a little, “T-There’s a word for that kinda thing?”
You wish you could hear the entirety of this conversation because you’re so confused as to where this is going.
“Ohhh, then yeah,” Choso nods his head and looks at you with a smile, “I guess you could call me that—,” Something is said over the phone and he laughs, “What? No, she doesn’t know. Or, she didn’t know but, she’ll find out soon enough right?”
“Find out what soon enough-,” He starts walking away from you and you move to follow him, “Choso!”
You’re ignored as his conversation continues and eventually, Choso walks into his bedroom, shuts the door in your face, and locks it.
You stand there for a while staring at the door in disbelief of your boyfriend. What the hell just happened? What the actual fuck is going on??
You go to knock on the door, “Choso, open the door!” You shout.
The sound of him still chatting it up with Gojo over the phone is heard and you’re feeling all too many emotions at once. From annoyance to anger to confusion and even very faint arousal, you were completely baffled.
Another groan pours from your lips and after beating your hand against the door for maybe five minutes or so, awaiting some kind of response from your boyfriend, you just give up and stomp off.
Annoyed beyond belief, you make your way back into the living room, grab his things, and toss them onto the floor before plopping down on the couch.
You hastily grab the nearby remote and press play on the TV, bringing your thumb to your lip and chewing on your nail a bit as you try to distract yourself from whatever the fuck your lovely boyfriend is talking about with Gojo Satrou.
Somewhere deep down, you think you’re thankful Gojo called when he did because you almost kissed Choso again and you knew you’d let him take things further if he wanted to. If Choso thinks he’s deprived, he’s got another thing coming because you’ve been aching for it.
Doesn’t he know it’s just as difficult for you not to touch him as it is for him not to be touched? Does he not realize how much of a tease he can be? How in the middle of the night, he’d snuggle into your back and his crotch would press into your ass? Waking you up horny and frustrated?
You scoff. Choso doesn’t even realize how whenever he comes home from his job, he looks so stupidly handsome undressing himself— slight grunts and groans leaving those soft lips of his as he does so.
Then, even when you were hugging him, he’d bury his face into the crook of your neck and his every exhale and inhale made your heart skip a beat.
Oh and let’s not forget how simple phone calls and text messages were enough to get you worked up. It’d be so random too how Choso would text you as you’re in class. Something simple like Baby I miss you would have your heart throbbing and your smile unwavering.
There was one weekend where Choso left town to go visit his two younger brothers and he called you late that night. His voice was deep, husked even, and his breathing was a bit unsteady as he told you he was trying to go to sleep but he couldn’t because he started thinking about you…
Thus leading to him with a painful boner. Then, to make matters worse, not only did he end up sending you a video of what you do to him even when you’re not around but, he had the nerve to return home that week looking fucking perfect.
His face had seemed clearer, his skin was as smooth as ever, he smelled heavenly, and of course— of course Choso decided to come home and touch all over your body, claiming to have missed you terribly.
He was such a fucking tease. And he knows it too, Choso knows what he does to you. He sees it in your face all the time— hears it in your voice.
Which is all exactly why he couldn’t bear with you reducing your touches. That’s what caused the argument today as he came home.
Normally, if you were at Choso’s apartment when he got off of work, which you have been more-so in the past few months, you’d rush to him and greet him at his door. Before the sex-ban, you’d help him undress and smother his face in kiss after kiss, telling him how much you missed him, etc.
And of course he appreciated this more than anything. Hence why he’d constantly note that because you do little things like that, he swears to put a ring on your finger if you’d let him.
Even so, ever since you told Choso you weren’t gonna have sex with him for a while, you stopped doing so. Which is all why he’s upset and you’re frustrated. Maybe you should just drop the sex-ban…
Or maybe just touch him more like he wants and learn some self-control. But, it’s not like it’s your fault your boyfriend is so irresistible. How are you supposed to keep your hands off him-
There’s a sudden knock on the front door and you flinch out of your thoughts. You’d been so caught up with them that you hadn’t even realized thirty minutes had gone by and you still didn’t have your phone, nor did Choso come out of his room.
Instead of moving a muscle, you groan, “Cho, someone’s at the door!”
There’s no response for a minute and your groan deepens as you toss your head back against the couch and frown.
“Choso!” You shout, voice projecting throughout his apartment.
“What?!” He shouts back from his bedroom.
You turn your head toward the direction of his hallway, “There’s someone at the door!”
Neither of you has moved an inch and both of you are just shouting across his home, “You can’t answer it?” He asks.
“You’re closer!” You argue.
Choso chuckles and then his voice gets a bit louder as he cracks his door open to yell, “It’s for you anyway!”
“I-,” You blink and then let off a scoff as you spring up from the couch, “Tch, it’s for you anyway…” You say under your breath, mocking your boyfriend in an annoyed tone.
Everything he was doing was pissing you off and you had half a mind to head back to your apartment. Every step you took was heavy and you wanted Choso to hear how agitated you were.
“Can’t even answer the fuckin’ door…” You grumble to yourself as your hand reaches for the knob, unlocks the door, and goes to open it, “…Getting on my goddamn-,” You swing the door open and your eyes immediately widen, “…N-Nerves,” You whisper out to finish your statement.
In front of you stands Gojo Satoru. All six foot three of him, bright fluffy white hair, black t-shirt, grey sweatpants, angelically handsome face, and stupid rose-tinted lips pulled into a smug grin standing right in front of you.
You had to blink once, maybe twice-, perhaps three or four times to figure out if you were seeing things before you scoff, “Satoru?”
Cocking his head to the side, “Trouble in paradise?” Gojo comments in response, voice just as playful as you remember it.
“W-What the fuck are you doing here?” You breathe out, brows tensing and confusion taking over.
Gojo’s shoulders lift into a casual shrug, “I was invited, duh.”
You stare. Then, slowly and carefully, you start nodding as you move to shut the door on him. Maybe you were dreaming?
A hand is pressed to the edge of the door, an arm nearing your head as this hand comes from behind you, and the door is pulled open. You instantly jump as your boyfriend seemed to have simply appeared right behind you and you swear your heart was pounding out of your chest.
Lips near your ear and Choso’s voice is smooth as he speaks to you, “C’mon baby, don’t be rude to our guest,” He murmurs to you, deep voice caressing your eardrums and making you lose all your thoughts for a moment.
You quickly snap out of it and whirl your head around to look at the dark-haired man, “Choso, what the hell is going on-“
“Oh c’monnn,” Gojo suddenly speaks, “You heard your boyfriend,” He chuckles and you turn to him, eyes going wide as he leans down to you, “Don’t be rude to your guest,” Gojo murmurs.
He was so close that you could smell the faint mint coming from his mouth. His proximity worried you and you stepped back, only to run into Choso and your entire backside to bump into him. Your boyfriend places a hand on your waist and tugs you back a bit to give space for Gojo to walk in.
Never in your life have you been more confused than you are as you watch Gojo Satoru enter your boyfriend Choso’s apartment.
Then, Choso leans over just a little so that he can shut the door but he doesn’t move from behind you. Your eyes are all over Gojo’s face, asking him a million questions with your gaze alone.
Gojo starts snickering, “Sweets, if you have a question, just ask-“
“What the fuck are you doing here?” You blurt out, tone heated before you proceed to give him no time to respond. You’re then turning to Choso, “What the hell is going on?”
Your boyfriend stares at you innocently, “Isn’t it obvious?”
“Yeah, you’re a smart girl, you can figure it out,” Gojo chastises.
You swear you’re about two seconds away from popping a blood vessel. An arm of yours moves to shove Choso away from you and you scoff, “First off, fuck both of you. Start explaining yourselves, now.” You huff out sternly.
Choso flashes a sheepish grin, “I already explained everything to you, why are you confused-“
“You were being serious?!” You shout, “You seriously called Satoru over to fuck me?! What the hell is wrong with you?”
“You said I was too jealous of a boyfriend so I invited him to prove to you that I’m not,” Choso tells you, the look on his face completely serious.
You couldn’t believe him right now. Not only were you feeling embarrassed having Gojo stand here and listen to you and Choso bicker like an old married couple but you were also fuming with your boyfriend.
“W-What?!” You huff out.
Choso gives you this blank stare he knows pisses you off, “I don’t understand why you’re confused.”
“You don’t understand why I’m-,” You cut yourself off with a sigh and move to pinch the bridge of your nose with your fingers, “Choso Kamo, this is the kinda thing you talk about with your girlfriend beforehand.”
“Are we not talking about it now?” He argues, moving to fold his arms across his chest and tilt his head.
You glare at him for a moment before glancing back to Gojo. Then, you chuckle in an annoyed manner, “We shouldn’t be talking about this in front of… him.”
“Him?” Gojo pouts, “Hey, I have a name y’know-“
“Satoru shut the hell up. You will be dealt with, just give me a moment,” You cut off warningly. Turning back to look at Choso, “As for you, I don’t know what the hell’s gotten into you but we’re not doing this.”
Choso raises a brow, “Not doing what baby?”
“I’m not about to…” Your face twists up in disapproval, “…To cheat on you just so you can prove some stupid point-“
“Why not?” Your boyfriend asks nonchalantly.
“What do you mean why not? Choso what even possessed you to invite Satoru over?”
“I literally told you why already,” He says bluntly, “I wanna prove I’m not the jealous dickhead you keep making me out to be.”
Your brows raise, “And you wanna prove that by making me have sex with another man in front of you?”
“First off, I’m not gonna make you do anything,” Choso clarifies, “Secondly, yes, I do want you to have sex with another guy just to prove a point.”
“You’re crazy. I mean, Cho, you can’t be serious about this-,” You cut yourself off as you just barely glance down— spotting something that makes you eat your words. “Oh… Oh wow. You-, you’re…” You stammer as your lashes bat in disbelief.
Choso scoffs, “Yeahh… Still don’t believe me?”
“Why’re you…” Your brows furrow as you stare at the bulge in your boyfriend’s sweats, “D-Did just the thought of me and Satoru having sex in front of you get you like that?” You ask softly as you point.
Gojo suddenly pops his head over your shoulder and you flinch as he speaks, “Damnnnn, you seriously are a cuck,” He chuckles out.
Then his hands slither onto your waist and your entire body tenses up. Swallowing, you turn your head to Gojo and glare at him, “Don’t touch me.”
Blue eyes meet yours and he smirks, peeling his hands off your body but keeping his face close, “He wants me to.”
“Well, I don’t. I haven’t agreed to any of this yet-“
“Yet?” Both of the men point out in sync.
You swallow, “I-I mean, I… I wish you two would’ve given me some time to… t-to y’know, wrap my head around this,” You stammer out.
Having your stupidly attractive boyfriend and the annoyingly handsome Gojo Satoru in the same room, both taunting and teasing you was unbearably nerve-wracking.
Slowly, you look over to your boyfriend, “You really want me to-“
“Yes baby,” Choso cuts off.
“What’s even in this for you… aside from,” Your eyes narrow down at his boner, “A-Aside from getting off to this twisted fantasy of yours?”
He snickers, “Uh, I’ll be off of sex-ban after this.”
Your brows pinch together and you fold your arms, “Says who?”
“Baby, the point of the sex-ban was to teach me a lesson about bein’ jealous,” Choso explains, stepping closer to you. Your body was steadily heating up since Gojo was right behind you and Choso was nearing you, “Consider this my lesson learned.”
You scoff, “…Even if I did agree to this…” Slowly, you turn back to Gojo and his face is far closer than you anticipated it to be, his lips nearly on yours as your head turned, “A-Are you seriously okay with this, Cho?”
Gojo’s hands are placed onto your waist yet again but this time, you don’t push him off or tell him to move. You stare into those pretty blue eyes of his and watch as he smiles.
“He’s more okay with this than you think,” Gojo murmurs to you, tilting his head in a way that makes it seem like he was readying himself to kiss you.
You stare at Gojo for a second longer than you mean to before turning to look at your boyfriend once more and god damn his pupils are dilated and you swear his cock has doubled in size beneath his clothes.
Oh he was extremely serious about this.
Choso chuckles, “I can’t exactly fake my dick bein’ hard, can I? What more proof about this do you need to see I’m serious?”
“S-So… if I sleep with Gojo… you want the sex-ban to be over?” You ask for clarification as you glance back and forth between Choso’s left and right eyes.
“Mhm,” He nods at you, “And my point will be proved.”
“Right…” You look at Gojo again and his lips are a hair’s length away from yours at this point, “A-And you… you’re okay with this?”
“What kinda’ question is that?” The white-haired man laughs, “In what universe would I pass up the opportunity to fuck you again?”
You frown a little but, you’re no longer shying away from this, “Satoru… T-This is so wrong-“
“Is it any more wrong than the things I’ve had you do before?” He whispers lowly to you, low enough for Choso to miss what he uttered.
You swallow thickly at his words, “W-Well… yes, yes it is. I’m cheating on-“
“Is it really cheating if he wants you to do it?” Gojo argues.
You pout, “Yes-“
“No, no it’s not,” He interrupts while flashing a comforting smile at you.
“Satoru-“
“Can you two stop arguing and just make out already,” Choso groans, “I’m gonna blow my load before we even get to the good part…”
Gojo chuckles and lifts a careful hand to the side of your face, cupping your cheek in his palm as he pulls you close, “Well, sweetheart? Your boyfriend’s gettin’ needy.”
You shake your head slowly and your gaze falls to Gojo’s lips, “…This is so wrong.”
“Yeah,” Gojo murmurs back before pecking your lips, you sigh immediately and Gojo whispers against you, “But he likes it.”
There’s one last lingering look shared between you and Gojo before he gently presses his lips to yours again, feeling as you sigh against him and just barely ease into this. After all, it was different and weird to kiss someone who wasn’t your boyfriend after a wonderful ten months of dating him.
There are a lot of things you could’ve predicted in your future with Choso but this damn sure wasn’t a part of it. No, making out with Gojo Satoru as Choso just watches the two of you was not something you could’ve ever planned for.
Gojo’s taking things slow, melting into your mouth and steadily parting your lips to push his tongue inside as you hum against him. Choso was losing his mind. Yeah, from the second he saw the way Gojo looked at you, his cock sprung up.
Did he understand why? Not exactly, no. Hell, only about forty-five minutes ago did Choso learn of the word cuck and what it means to be one. He’s watching you and Gojo make out for a little bit before his feet move toward the two of you.
Choso nor Gojo miss the way you moan against Gojo’s lips as Choso presses his own into your neck. Oh. You were about to experience both of these men at the same time? Gojo and Choso. Gojo Satoru and Choso Kamo. To what being must you thank for such a heavenly experience? Your possessive boyfriend and your obsessive ex-lover (if you can even call him that).
Your boyfriend begins to suck on the side of your neck as you hum and squirm in between the two men. Gojo’s got his large hands firmly placed on your waist and you whine into his mouth as Choso moves to kiss under your jaw. With Gojo behind you and Choso now in front of you, you couldn’t possibly wrap your head around the fact that you were being sandwiched between these two men.
Handling either of them one at a time was already too much for you and yet here you were having to deal with both. You feel Gojo’s clothed cock press into your ass and he groans into your mouth before pulling away, both of you making low-lidded eye contact.
“Satoru,” You whisper.
He hums, “Shit-, this is hotter than I thought it’d be.”
Choso’s busy sucking at your neck before he pulls away with a loud pop, his breathing heavy against your skin as you grow hazy in lust. Then, he wipes his mouth off and takes a step back, “Baby…”
You turn your head to him with wide eyes, your lips prettily messy with saliva from Gojo’s tongue and fuck if Choso didn’t find you sexier than ever. Your brows raise innocently and he smirks at you.
“Can you do somethin’ f’me?” Choso hums out. You try moving toward him but Gojo tugs you back and Choso chuckles, “Don’t worry, I don’t want you to touch me yet,” Your boyfriend explains, “I want you to take care of our guest first, can you do that?”
Your eyes widen and you glance behind you and up at Gojo who flashes you a smile, “Yeah, can you take care of me, sweetheart?”
Gulping, you fein cluelessness, “T-Take care of you how…”
“Oh don’t act dumb,” Choso scoffs.
Gojo snickers, “Right, don’t act dumb…” He coos at you.
You pout and glance back over to your boyfriend, “I’m not actin’ dumb… I just want you guys to tell me what you want me to do…”
“Oh?” Choso raises a brow, “So you’re done actin’ like a brat now, huh?”
“I-I wasn’t acting like a brat earlier, you were just being an asshole,” You huff out before rolling your eyes and looking off to the side.
Gojo quirks a brow, “That’s no way to talk to your boyfriend, now is it?” He murmurs to you, causing a chill to slip down your spine.
“But…” Your lashes flutter, “He was being a fucking asshole-”
“You’ve got quite the mouth on ya’...” Gojo interrupts.
Choso suddenly nods, “Yeahh… She does, doesn’t she?” You swallow hard as your boyfriend voices his thoughts, “Why don’t you shut it up?” He suggests.
A hand is placed on your jaw and your face is tugged so that you’re looking at Gojo again, his fingers digging into your cheeks, “I should, shouldn’t I?” He teases, shifting to run his thumb over your lower lip, “She talks way too much anyway.”
“E-Excuse me-“
“She can’t talk when she’s got a mouth full of cock though,” Choso comments.
You swallow down whatever argument you were going to spit out to these two men.
Gojo smirks, “Good point…” He hums before slipping his thumb past your lips, “But, that’s probably what she wants anyway.”
“Think so?” Choso hums, smiling a little.
Gojo nods, “Know so.”
“Okay well, who are we to deny her of such a thing?” Your boyfriend shrugs casually.
“Exactly,” Gojo agrees before placing his attention back on you, “Is that what you want, love? Hm? S’that why you’ve been such a fuckin’ brat? Y’need someone to put you back in your place?”
Yet another pout pulls at your lips, “I wasn’t-“
“Aht, aht, none of that,” Gojo interjects, scoffing at you and finding your expression cute, “It’s yes or no, sweetheart.”
“Y-Yes,” You stammer in response.
He bites down on his lower lip, “Yeah?”
Before you can even nod, your boyfriend’s making your fluster state ten times worse, “Yes what, princess?”
“Yes please…” You whine.
“Be specific,” Choso demands, voice low, “C’mon, tell Satoru what you want.”
“I…” You gulp, “I want you to…”
“Aww don’t be shy, s’just me, sweets,” Gojo coos, his voice gentle.
You were losing your mind right now. Gojo being so careful with you while Choso forces you to voice your needs? Oh you’re not making it through the rest of this interaction, or at least, not in one piece and not mentally okay by the end of it.
“I want you to put me in my place ‘Toru,” You finally manage out.
Gojo hums deeply, “In front of your boyfriend? Seriously?” He teases as he moves the hands on your waist to spin you around. Then he tugs your body up against his, “You really are a lil’ slut, aren’t you?”
Your face twists up a little before you glance back to Choso who gives you a reassuring look— telling you through his eyes that this was okay.
After which, you look at Gojo again and nod, “Yeah.”
He chuckles before bending down a little and then lifting you into the air, your legs wrapped around him as he does so, “Well, if you insist. I guess I’ll have to start by punishing this mouth of yours for bein’ so mean to your boyfriend.”
You frown as you disagree with the claim of you being mean to Choso, “I-“
“Don’t act like that’s not what you’ve been wanting anyway,” Choso adds as he watches Gojo carry you past him. He trails behind the two of you, “I’ve seen the way you’ve been lookin’ at me lately, baby. You’ve been itchin’ to suck me off… Buuut since you put me on sex-ban, I guess that’ll have to do, right?”
You send the man a look and he smiles at you, completely obsessed with teasing you through this whole thing.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Choso hums as you, him, and Gojo enter the living room, “You said you’d take care of our guest first, remember?”
“Yeah, sweets,” Gojo chimes in— God the way they keep doing that is getting on your nerves-, “I can’t wait to put my cock down your throat.”
Okay, by this point, you were beyond pooling in your underwear and it doesn’t get any better as Gojo takes a seat on the couch with you sliding into his lap, his erection poking up against your cunt as you sit comfortably. Then there’s Choso who takes a seat not too far away from the two of you, his cock aching for some kind of attention.
One last time, you glance at your boyfriend, and then at Gojo, and then you sigh.
This was really about to happen-
There’s a soft tap to your ass by Gojo, “Don’t start zonin’ out now,” He hums.
Then Choso’s talking again, “Yeah baby, hurry up ‘nd get on your knees— I wanna see how well you suck another guy off.”
Yeah, this was about to be a long night…
Tumblr media
part two
Tumblr media
tags;
@blognicole @suguruologist @luqueam @ivoryviness @sinaxalui @rxnnie18 @carlacujo @gods-landing @bitchysouljellyfish @miles4hour @sinaxalui @annananamin @heart-snow @kiyomizzx @hanuh @acehyacinth @mccookiemonster @tojis-ball-sack @cartwheel6869 @mariluvsusstuff @addie1010 @slammynics @actualz0mbie @hisbitchhh @kay-xle @cunttee3 @voids-universe @raininglovelyfire @itsbokutosjuicyass @peaceoutbritta @barbielani @gennaray @r3inae @kfmcykdy @camiihutt @tokina @curtin81937 @hopefullydecent @nameless-shade @ureuphoriasworld @forgetfulmachine @legbouk @lilliaannn @clementineee0-0 @divinelseraph @didibxx
753 notes · View notes
nayziiz · 10 hours
Text
Comfort Person | LN4
Pairing: Lando Norris x reader (she/her)
Author's note: I'm trying something a little bit different with shorter form fics, so please send through any requests or feedback. These one shots will likely not have a second part unless it really speaks to me to continue with it. Thank you!
Masterlist
Tumblr media
Attending the McLaren gala marked a significant step forward in their relationship. For a whole year, they had carefully cultivated their love away from the prying eyes of the public, choosing to keep their affection shielded from the spotlight. Their social media presence, though scant, hinted at a deeper connection, evident through the occasional birthday mentions and celebratory nods to his triumphs on the racetrack.
But this gala was different. It was a statement, a declaration of their commitment, and a subtle unveiling of their love to the world. While their relationship had been an open secret among close friends and those within the inner circle of the Formula 1 world, this event would bring it to a broader audience.
For her, agreeing to attend the gala was both exciting and nerve-wracking. Stepping into the glamorous world of Formula 1, filled with its high-profile personalities and dazzling events, was a departure from her usual realm. She had only dipped her toes into this world on three occasions, each time experiencing the thrill of the races in Monaco, Belgium, and Silverstone. Yet, despite her limited exposure to the paddock, she found herself drawn to the adrenaline-fueled atmosphere and the magnetic pull of his passion for the sport.
Her demanding career imposed limitations on her ability to accompany him to every race and event, forcing her to carefully select which ones she could attend. Despite the constraints of her professional obligations, she was determined to be there for him in whatever capacity she could manage.
For him, her unwavering support transcended physical presence. Knowing that she would wake up in the early hours of the morning or stay up late into the night to watch his races brought him immense comfort and strength. Her dedication, even from afar, served as a source of motivation during the most gruelling moments on the track.
In the midst of the frenetic pace of the Formula 1 season, her steadfast encouragement provided him with a sense of grounding and reassurance. Whether she was cheering him on from the stands or sending him words of encouragement through late-night texts, her presence loomed large in his heart and mind.
Their relationship was built on a foundation of understanding and compromise, with each of them making sacrifices to support the other's dreams and aspirations. While her absence at certain events weighed heavily on her, she took solace in the knowledge that her love and support transcended geographical boundaries.
The day was a canvas of intimacy, each moment painted with tenderness and shared anticipation. As they lingered in her apartment, the world outside faded into insignificance, leaving only the two of them enveloped in a cocoon of affection.
Showering together was a dance of intimacy, the warm water cascading over their bodies like a gentle caress. He tenderly washed her hair, his fingers massaging her scalp with care and devotion. In that shared moment of vulnerability, their connection deepened, each touch speaking volumes of their love for one another.
As she dried her hair, she watched him with a soft smile as he meticulously shaved away the stray stubble, his concentration mirrored in the steady strokes of his razor. Even the simplest of tasks became moments to be savoured in each other's presence, the ordinary transformed into something extraordinary by the power of their love.
For him, the mundane rituals of getting ready took on new significance with her by his side. Every glance exchanged, every shared laugh, was a reminder of the profound joy he felt in having her as his partner. Her presence infused even the simplest moments with an electric energy, sparking excitement in his heart and a smile on his lips.
As he stood poised with the razor in hand, ready to rid himself of the faint traces of stubble that adorned his face, she intervened, her voice soft but determined.
“No, leave it. It looks hot, my love,” she said, her gaze lingering on him with an intensity that sent a shiver down his spine. He paused, caught off guard by her unexpected request.
“But I thought you hated facial hair,” he replied, a hint of confusion tingling his words. A playful smile curved her lips as she stepped closer, her fingers tracing the outline of his jaw. 
“I've grown to love it because it's on you,” she confessed, her eyes sparkling with affection. He couldn't help but chuckle at her response, his heart swelling with warmth at her words.
“You're special, you know that,” he murmured, his voice laced with genuine admiration.
“Uh, huh. That's why you keep me around,” A mischievous glint danced in her eyes as she teased him. He pulled her into his arms, unable to resist the urge to shower her with kisses. 
Lando couldn't help but chuckle as he left her in the bathroom to put the finishing touches on her makeup. With a playful grin, he made his way to the kitchen to retrieve some snacks before the event.
After a few minutes, he heard the soft tapping of her heels against the hardwood floors, signalling her emergence from the bedroom. He turned, almost instinctively, his curiosity piqued by the sound of her approach.
His breath caught in his throat as she sauntered past him, the fabric of her dark orange dress flowing around her like molten lava, casting a mesmerising glow in the dim light of the apartment. She looked radiant, her beauty captivating him in a way that never failed to leave him breathless.
As she disappeared into the kitchen, he couldn't tear his gaze away, his jaw dropping slightly in awe. She was stunning, more breathtaking than he had ever seen her before.
When she finally turned to face him, their eyes locked in an unspoken exchange of admiration and affection. In that moment, words seemed unnecessary as the intensity of their connection spoke volumes, filling the space between them with an electric energy that crackled with anticipation.
“Are you just going to sit there and gawk at me?” She asked, her tone light but teasing.
“Yes,” he replied without missing a beat, his gaze lingering on her with unapologetic admiration. A mock scowl crossed her features as she shook her head, a hint of laughter dancing in her eyes.
“Well, stop it. You look stupid. Go put on your suit before we're late,” she instructed, her voice tinged with playful admonishment.
After dutifully adhering to her request and donning his suit, Lando returned to the kitchen to find her engrossed in replying to a few messages. With a tender smile, he approached her from behind, his footsteps silent against the floor.
Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pressed a gentle kiss to her neck, the warmth of his lips sending a shiver down her spine. She leaned back into his embrace, a contented sigh escaping her lips as she tilted her head to the side, allowing him better access.
In that moment, the world outside faded away, leaving only the two of them cocooned in a bubble of affection. His touch was a soothing balm against the chaos of the day, grounding her in the present and reminding her of the love they shared. As he lingered against her, his arms holding her close, she felt a sense of peace wash over her. In his embrace, she found solace and reassurance
“I can't wait to do this with you for the rest of my life,” Lando whispered, his voice filled with sincerity as he gazed into her eyes. A soft smile graced her lips as she met his gaze, her heart swelling with love for him.
“Me too,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper but resounding with a depth of emotion that echoed his own.
In that fleeting moment, the weight of their words hung in the air, binding them together in a promise of forever. It was a declaration of their love, a pledge to stand by each other through every twist and turn that life may bring.
252 notes · View notes
One of the things that still really frustrates me is how we know the crew of OFMD were so intentional with cutting off any "Ed is abusive!" allegations at the knees.
There are three things from Ed's kraken spiral that we know for a fact did not make it into the show. One of them (the scene of Ed throwing a knife at Izzy) even made it into the trailer before it was cut; the other two I'm thinking of are the bts footage we have of Ed drinking heavily the night he has his last fantasy of looking at the cake toppers and a still of Ed making the bride cake topper push around the groom.
I think all three of these things were very wise to cut and it's obvious why they did it. The drinking and throwing stuff ran the risk of making Ed look too much like his abusive dad (not to mention heavy drinking tied to abusive behavior runs into deeply uncomfortable stereotypes about indigenous men like Ed), and when all we see of Ed is him gently caressing the cake topper that reminds him of Stede, it reinforces a core aspect of Ed as a person, which is how he would never, ever hurt Stede and wants nothing but gentleness and tenderness for and from him.
And it's incredibly frustrating that these things weren't enough. We're shown over and over again that Ed during the kraken spiral, right up until his mutiny-as-a-suicide-attempt, is doing normal piracy (that's why Archie is here! The only characters who are emotionally affected are the ones who know what life was like on Stede's ship!), and the only person who is actually physically harmed is Izzy (for good reason in Ed's mind; he was the trigger for the whole thing and Ed lists him along with booze and drugs as destructive influences on his life). We even get other characters say things to Stede like "do you think Blackbeard is gonna murder you" and Stede, who explicitly knows Ed better than anyone, is always like "what the fuck are you talking about? Of course not," and he's obviously right.
It's just so disheartening that there can be this much intentionality in making sure it's next to impossible to read a man of color as abusive and it will still happen. White fandom has such a tendency to center itself and white characters that it doesn't even matter how much effort they put into taking the audience by the shoulders and saying "this guy isn't abusive, he's being an imperfect victim in response to being abused himself," up to and including having the white guy in question say on his deathbed "sorry for abusing you for years." And people still wonder why fans of color are sick and tired of this shit to the point where some of us just want to leave fandom altogether.
144 notes · View notes
eisforeidolon · 2 days
Text
Question: How did Supernatural ending affect your day-to-day relationship with Jensen? 'Cause you went from working together every day to not.
Jared: Yeah, great question. It didn't, really? I mean, even during Supernatural - granted we spent so much time with each other every day? But if, you know, he had a week off, he went to see his family. I went to see my family. And we'd text and be like, hey, I'm going to dinner, I'm gonna watch the game or UFC fight or something. It was like, ah, I can't make it, or I can, I'll see you there. And so it never really changed. And I think it's this far out - four years after wrapping? It's so weird to think about fifteen years. You know in America, kindergarten - I'm sorry, school is like, kindergarten, first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh, twelfth. That's when you graduate high school, and then thirteenth and fourteenth and so it's almost like starting with somebody in kindergarten and going all the way through sophomore year in college or university with somebody. But that's the only fucking person you see, it's not like, oh, he's in the class, it's like, oh, I'm staring at his face all the time. And so we'll always have a pretty deep connection. And I was friends with him when he met his wife, he was on set when I met my wife. You know, we flew together when he had his twins and I was on set with him when my first was born. So we have all these milestones that we've shared and so it's just an easy relationship, you know? Like, if I don't see him for a day? It's like, hey. If I don't see him for a month? It's like, hey. It's a great - it's not a needy relationship. Like I'm totally needy with my wife, if I don't talk to her, I'm like is she mad at me? Just kidding. Kinda kidding. But with Ackles, we're just buddies, you know? I know he's busy, he knows I'm busy. So it's almost like a - and the way my life is structured, I had a great question, well, Jensen and I both had a great question yesterday about, like, what's your next goal in life. About, like, being better about relationships. My brother, my legit brother I just talked about? He lives a ten minute drive away. Sometimes we'll see each other three times in a week, our kids will play together and all that? And sometimes I don't see him for two months. And he lives ten minutes away. But it's like, okay, he's a doctor, he has a wife and kids, I'm an actor with a wife and kids, life is busy. But I'm not concerned. And he's not concerned. So I feel like that's the same. I don't think my time not filming with him now is different than my time not filming with him four years ago, five years ago, ten years ago, a hundred years ago, however fucking long we [?]. So yeah, I'll always - he stood at my wedding, I stood at his, we'll always be connected.
38 notes · View notes
Text
Himaruya and flower language pt.2!
In the latest France illustrations there are three different types of flowers:
Desclaimer: This whole post is made of assumptions. If you have other ideas feel free to share them with me!
Tumblr media
The first two are the ones you can see in the bouquet: Carnations and forget-me-nots.
Carnations symbolize love, devotion, and fascination. Assuming their color (probably a light one) they could either mean deep and passionate love (Red), pure love and grace (white), capriciousness and unpredactibility (purple).
(I also read that they were traditionally used for funerals of loved ones in France but I'm not really sure about this).
Forget-me-nots (obviously) represent rememberance.
The third flower is the lily.
Tumblr media
The lily, also called fleur-de-lys, was used in the French coat of arms.
In the language of flowers lilies mean love, ardor and affection. Lilies are also one of the most commonly used flowers at funerals.
Personally, I find it very interesting how all these flowers have a connection with death/funerals. Let me know what you think about this!
35 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Hanahaki comic part 3
Part 1 Part 2
Ah well they got their feelings out... now they should really have a long talk.
Sun and Moons flowers are still growing eventhough they confessed.. curious huh?
Well and the daycare is just fully trashed after their freak out... luckily y/n found them at the tail end of it or this could have gotten an absolutly heartbreaking route...
2K notes · View notes
yooniesim · 9 months
Text
some ppl that work in healthcare... really shouldn't work in healthcare.
(heavy heavy tw for medical situations & death/child death in tags, do not read if you're sensitive to it... I'll delete this later just had to vent)
#ceci speaks#nonsims#delete later#was just thinking about all the terrible things ive heard while being a hcw#from fellow hcw#and reporting it never helped because it was all shitheads all the way up#then i see more assholes going into that work and its like#really#ive experienced so much death since covid started and truth be told#it messed me up pretty badly and changed me as a person#im not the same person i was four years ago#and i wonder#would it affect you the way it affected me#would you change and grow some empathy if you had to see that many people suffer and die#even with some of them being terrible people it still hits you somehow#you think youre tough and youre hot shit when youre in school#and a couple years later youre not even blinking when youre trying to get blood out of a dead three month old#but when you go home you hyperfixate on the fact that it could be you or anyone you know at any time#i remember the christmas i watched three people code and die the same day#and the baby that already had rigor in their little feet bc theyd been dead in the crib way before they were even brought in#im not even a nurse im in lab for gods sake#but lab and rad dont escape this shit either#and i think if youre already a person with low empathy#the trauma must turn you into some of the people i worked with that just hated everyone they came into contact with#being cruel to patients or discriminating against them#why even go into that work if youre that kind of person#and i dont mean hcw have to be angels#its a difficult and grueling line of work that is underpaid and understaffed#but how hard is it to not be fucking evil#dont become a hcw if youre a discrimatory evil fucking piece of shit is what im saying
37 notes · View notes
a-lonely-tatertot · 8 months
Text
seeing a post with a time stamp that says 3 years ago and you just have to sit down for a sec. like god so much has happened and yet it feels like yesterday
14 notes · View notes
scoopsgf · 2 years
Note
im really conflicted with lorelai because on one hand, she raised her daughter by herself after becoming a teen mom and basically got her life together on her own. on the other hand, she’s not a great parent- i hate to say it but if lorelai fed her daughter junk food and was flaky as a mom, but great as a best friend, most people around her in the real world would question her parenting style. i get that her relationship with her parents is unstable due to lasting traumas but the way she treats her parents even after they paid for rory’s school irks me. she didn’t treat max right, she wasn’t always great to sookie, and it’s just a multitude of things that make me appreciate her, but not like her.
hmm… i can see this, but i feel like lorelai gets demonized for a lot of normal, little mistakes that most parents and people in general make. coming from someone who wishes that they had a lorelai for a mom, i’m more willing to look past the tiny infractions. the junk food thing is purely for comedic effect so i really don’t take it into consideration when i judge lorelai’s parenting skills (plus we see fruits and vegetables in their fridge on multiple occasions, and while lor and rory often go out to eat, rory could easily order like, a salad from luke’s if she wanted. he’d be happy to make that for her, meaning she does have access to healthy foods, not to mention her chilton lunch meals are definitely nutritionally balanced). anyway, i wouldn’t call lorelai a flaky mom at all. in fact i’d say she’s almost overly invested in rory’s life: she always wants to know what’s going on, she goes out of her way to make sure rory has what she needs, and she’s constantly trying to maintain an open line of communication with her daughter. while she doesn’t always go about this the right way, it’s her intentions that really matter—she wants rory to know she can come to her, that she can trust her. she makes rory dresses from scratch and fills their house with books and music and goes to business school so she can make a better life for them. she puts aside her pride to ensure that rory’ll have the best education possible. yeah, she can be selfish and immature at times, and she screws up, but so does everyone and that’s literally the point of the show: all the characters on gg are meant to be realistic, they’re meant to frustrate the audience at times and piss people off, because that’s just human nature. no one can be perfect, but lorelai is definitely a really great mom. she just has deep-seated issues when it comes to things like boys and intimacy and secret keeping, which given her upbringing is kind of hard to put her down for (though it does drive me crazy at times). anyway yeah, idk, my point is that of course she can’t be perfect but compared to a lot of moms (both in fiction and irl) she does pretty damn well.
67 notes · View notes
running-in-the-dark · 3 months
Text
and it just occurred to me that when we move, I might try to find a new therapist. there might be one/a few right in the town we're moving to (I haven't checked), but we'll be really close to a city then. so I could get there regularly (maybe. it's very scary but maybe I can manage it). so. I should probably do that? maybe find someone who'll like.... do more than just accept that I've got social anxiety (because that's what I said when I first saw my previous therapist) and help me figure out the real problem.
#like I mean I. probably have autism or adhd yeah sure. like that's just. I'm just assuming that for now.#but. the thing that really affects me more than anything at this point#is the stupid fucking rules I have to follow because my brain makes them up and I don't have a choice#and the. well everything else that's probably all related to that.#but i don't wanna go there and be like hi I think i might have ocd#because I've been so ashamed of all of this stuff for 20+ years that the thought of talking about it with a person I have to look at and wh#will ask questions about it and then possibly say nope your brain's just really fucked up.#that thought is. so horrifying idk I don't think I could do that#but I struggle with it so much every day that. idk maybe I need to do it anyway? I didn't think I could talk about the social anxiety stuff#either and I did that for years in the end. and it helped a bit.#but idk maybe it's just. pointless? I don't know how to be any other way. I've never not lived like this? I don't remember ever not having#to follow these rules and feeling like I'm disgusting for having bad thoughts and having stupid routines that I have to follow because if I#don't a Bad Thing will happen. but that part got better so maybe it's not that serious anyway and I've just been imagining all of it#because my brain is bad and all of that.#maybe it's fine that I can't touch dirty things and that if I don't tell my husband to drive safe I have to think about him crashing the ca#and it being my fault all day and almost breaking several door handles because I have to check three times if the door is really locked and#it's never enough so it's usually 3x3 times or more. and just.#just. everything I like has to be good and pure and perfect and if it's not and I can't stop myself from liking it anyway I feel disgusting#and guilty and like I'm personally responsible for every bad thing in the world because I just can't be right.#and if I could the bad things would stop#I don't think. that's how people are supposed to think? right? I feel like if everyone spent most of their time thinking about this and#doing everything to make sure they follow these rules then. idk nothing would ever get done? it's just so hard?#but no it's probably just that I'm so bad at handling it and everything is always hard for everyone and no one complains because they're#better at being human.#idk man all I know is this is fucking exhausting and I can't do this for. however many years I'll be alive for. it's been long enough#I'm tired of it#and maybe I shouldn't be on here. maybe it's time to step away again for a while. so much of this messes with my head. I can't handle the#guilt I feel from every stupid post that I saw. oh that's something people argue about? great that's been added to the list of things that#have to feel bad about now.#doesn't matter how much I disagree on a rational level. I don't get to decide. if I know it exists it will bother me. and I can't do it
5 notes · View notes
dkniade · 3 months
Text
It’s the most awkward thing where, around a year ago, I’d use alias(es) to write about my feelings, but then I had used the alias(es) so much that they started to feel like actual names that I didn’t intend to take, leading to some sort of terrible identity confusion (?) for like, a year
Now the roles and what they meant are much more defined so I’m myself again, but sometimes there’s this feeling of—
*picks up name(s)* “who are you. Are you me or just a role. What even is my name”
5 notes · View notes
sysig · 8 months
Text
Me while rereading: You should kill him
Also:
Tumblr media
They marriages hehe ♥
#Come closer Morinaga I hold no ill will towards you lol#It's playful ribbing :) Mostly :) Lol ♪#So I may or may not have come into the ownership of the entire currently-released collection of KoiBo manga in Japanese lol#It's so nice to own ahhhh <3 <3 It's so strange to finally hold it!#Also can we talk about manga prices in Japanese vs English? I get the whole translation and publishers thing but like#581円 for one volume? That's like four dollars USD! We average $10 here! How'd that happen#I mean I still didn't pay even that much for them since they were secondhand hehe ♥#But reading them physically is such a weird experience now haha - I've spent years reading them only digitally!#Previously there was like this continuous flow from one volume into the next - no physical delineation! No hard stops!#So now re-learning where the story beats are and how that affects the timbre of storytelling - it's interesting :0#Seeing that it took three volumes - or two depending on how you count it lol - it took til the third volume anyhow#For them to start to get on the same page and actually communicate and then all the middle-amble (preamble in the middle lol)#It's interesting! It's not quite like reading it blind again - especially since I can't actually read the kanji yet lol#But it does change a bit of the feel :) I'm excited to start to be able to put events to volumes rather than chapters! :D#The little bits of English that dot around are always very charming of course haha ♪#Since they got married in the US they put English on their wedding card! That's so cute!#That is an actual picture I took while reading haha ♪#That's another thing - reading in person really lets me see the toning as intended and ahhhh it's so pretty <3#The details really pop! That aspect is like reading blind again hehe#Happy :D#Koisuru Boukun
5 notes · View notes
ciatana · 2 years
Text
i am going to pride tomorrow and im gonna have a good day with my friends!!!
#vent abt drm stuff ->#everyone is always very very. hasty and emotional with these things which is very understandable. but its very anxiety inducing#as somebody who really prefers to wait things out and have solid information before i form any concrete opinions#it all just depends on a bunch of stuff we dont know#im. not a drm main so this doesnt affect me as much as it affects some others#not engaging w his content wouldnt be that hard for me. sad but not super emotionally difficult#most annoying thing is i was gonna be him for halloween……… so that uh. might need to change lol#<- saying that in a strained half joking sort of tone; the way you joke when bad things happen type tone#but its just a waiting game for now as these things always are#i hope all my friends and mutuals are ok this stuff is always so exhausting#and if it ends up confirmed to be true that will be very very hard#but im not gonna worry about any of it tonight. im gonna Wait because thats the best thing i can do#and enjoy my personal life to the fullest in the meantime#im a wilburian and phil lover thats really all my blog ever needs to be about. a boober too#and as long as those three are chugging along being nice as they are then so will i!#if it ends up to be really really serious — like it seems it might be — i trust theyd do the right thing#they may be human about it and thats ok. itll be uncertain for awhile and thats to be expected#so you just gotta. be calm about it and allow the ccs their own time to handle it internally aswell#if it that ends up being what has to happen#so yeah. im like. fine to be honest. anxious but levelheaded. i dont need to invest myself in this#i keep feeling the urge to dig into it deeper but i just. dont need to do that. i dont need to torment and worry myself about stuff i dont-#-know. i feel like my personal life is way more important#so im just gonna. have fun in my real life. Touch Grass as the kids say#hope the people involved in this are doing fine#but i just gotta. draw a line yknow? im not gonna force myself to be more emotionally involved than i need to be#if i need to cut ties then when the time comes i will do it swiftly and quietly#just not worth the drama for me personally. if any of that makes sense#anyway ilysm mcytblr mutuals of all time following me on main
6 notes · View notes
jeoseungsaja · 2 years
Text
S.EX VALUES / HYUK
tagged by: myself lmao, I remembered I did this for Yeo and thought ‘how about doing this one for Hyuk?’ tagging: pls feel free to steal it if you’d like! 
Tumblr media
5 notes · View notes
cerastes · 3 months
Note
I saw there are a lot of forest fire in chile right now. are you gonna be okay?
Three days after the fact, yeah, I'll be fine, personally and physically, but it's dire, I'm not going to lie. I've never seen so much fire in my life. When you think about a big fire, your impression might be two or three buildings on fire with some firefighter trucks spraying water at it. This was kilometers upon kilometers of raging blazes. Kilometers. Heads up if you are sensitive to these kinds of posts, this isn't a happy one.
Tumblr media
Entire hills on fire. Lush green hills reduced to ash and smoke.
Tumblr media
Not to mention the urban parts that got hit badly
Tumblr media
The official death toll keeps increasing each passing hour as they clear up the rubble and ruins and find more corpses. People I know lost everything. Some people I know lost their loved ones. Dogs are eating corpses on the street because they haven't picked them up yet, so you have neighbors warding off said dogs. Bodies get picked up too badly burned, eaten, decomposed, or a mix thereof to be identified.
It's a tragedy. It all reeks of smoke, there's ash everywhere.
It was sudden, it was brutal. Seeing elderly survivors wondering "what's next for me? I don't have enough years left among the living to rebuild all I lost, all I worked for throughout my life, gone like that" breaks my heart. The government is offering all sorts of aid, but there's also people whose documents, like ID and other identifying documentation, was lost in the fire, so they have to get re-issued an ID before they can actually start filing for aid. The SML (Servicio Médico Legal) is oversaturated with all that's suddenly on their plate and can't return the bodies of people to their families yet, and these are all people that still need food, shelter, hygiene, and so on after the fact. Seeing the logistical nightmare that becomes life after you lose everything firsthand from other people is sobering and painful. Yeah, they survived, but what comes next? It's a sense of uncertainty that is smothering and asphyxiating, it's hopelessness.
I apologize if I come across as dramatic, especially so as someone who was luckily not affected, but it really, really has been heartbreaking to witness, especially from very up close, as I was there, and it's one thing to know of a tragedy that happened elsewhere, maybe even in your own country, but elsewhere, and it's a whole other beast to have seen it directly as it unfolded.
Keep Chile in your thoughts. If you are able to, please consider donating to Desafío Levantemos Chile, to my knowledge the only drive that accepts Paypal, thus, foreign donations, to help the various efforts to rebuild and aid those affected. Desafío Levantemos Chile dates back to 2010, when Chile got hit by a devastating earthquake, and is an NGO that bases its continued existence in being able to provide aid during catastrophes such as this one.
3K notes · View notes