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gallusrostromegalus · 2 years

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Herschel Has Discovered Tool Use. Again.

In january of 2021, deep in the throes of pandemic psychosis, we acquired a Corgi Puppy.

I would like to go on the record that we did not get a Corgi because they're cute. We got a Corgi because they're criminally brilliant and enthusiastic working dogs that were bred to bully cattle, which is the exact temperment a dog living in a house with three ADHD adults should have. Herschel does commit a lot of crime, but he also does his appinted service-dog job of "make everyone wake up, eat meals and go to bed at a reasonable and consistent time" extremely well, as well as his bonus jobs of "Keep the squirrels the hell out of the garden" and "Yell every time the cat does something". I didn't actually ask him to do that last job but it has helped in the "teach the cat to stay the hell off the stove" area.

But even with having a whole pack of humans another dog, and a cat to manage, this pales in comparison to his genetic capacity to manage several hundred sheep or cattle across the fields of Wales, and thus, Herschel has decided on further intellectual pursuits to occupy himself, namely, speedrunning the early phases of human tool use and terraforming.

I realized he has the brains of an entire hunter-gatherer tribe shortly after he got fixed, and within 24 hours and still dpey from anesthesia, he'd figured out that his plastic cone could be used to monopolize the water bowl and his favorite chew toys, and within a week, had learned how to carry three toys at once while leaving his mouth open by tucking the toys behind his enormous ears and under his chin. He also figured out that he could wiggle the cone to rest against his shoulders, and started using it as a shovel by literally running the bottom edge into the ground. But that wasn't making holes effeicently enough, apparently, and I ended up watching him figure out how to rotate the cone around so the two pieces of overlapping plastic were under his chin, then use his chin and the stairs to the deck to pinch both ends into a much more efficient V-Shape that let him gouge huge strips of dirt up in seconds. The anthropologists and animal behaviorists in the audience may recognize this as Tool Creation, a behavior normally only seen in higher primates, crows, and some parrots. Once a hole of suitable length, depth and temperature had been achieved, he very carefully rolled the cone around so the digging side was over his head and the smooth side under his chin, and splooted into his hole to cool his little tummy and stitches off. It was at that point that I realized that I was going to have to teach him how to garden, or he was going to teach himself.

He no longer has the cone (He was beginning to experiment with it as a battering ram), but his morning ritual is now "Wake everyone up at 8AM by screaming, locate everyone in house and jam my nose up theirs to make sure they're alive, go outside and scream at the squirrels. Now that Yard is Secure, go get Fun Parent who has hopefully taken their meds by now, and supervise them while they rifle through the plants (this is apparently KEY to their mental health), eating any pest animals Fun Parent points out, chase squirrel AGAIN, go inside and get Breakfast cookie." and BY GOD if we deviate from it there will be much screaming and destruction. If I am not home, it has been reported that he walks round the garden beds and sniffs the plants in the order I usually check them in before he will agree to come in. He doesn't quite know what the deal with the melons is, just that they need to be checked.

But we're out of the labor-intensive parts of gardening and now into Harvesting Season, and this is a bit boring except when I give him snap peas right off the vine, and he has decided to work on the complex physics problem that is Doorknobs.

And last week, he had a breakthrough.

Sometime in 2020, my mom sort-of taught her horrible crime herding dog Arwen how to open the back door so she could let herself out as she pleased during the day and stop interrupting Mom's Zoom calls. Arwen is a Kelpie, which means she's about 60lbs with full-length legs and horrible monkey paws that are one joint away from being hands, so when Arwen wants to open the back door, she sits up, leans on the door for purchase/to push it, and uses her terrible crime hands to *push* on the knob until it turns. She can pull the knob open by pawing and catching it on her toes, but she's 11-13 years old now and has mild arthritis, so she prefers to catch it on her central pad instead. She taught Charlie, the other equally brilliant but less criminally inclined dog, to do this but he doesn't like to go outside alone, so he rarely does this.

Herschel, ever the observant student, immediately tried copying them, but even though he is actually tall enough to reach the knob, his toes are just too stubby to get a decent grip on the knob, pushing or pulling, and the first few times, gave up and sat down to scream until one of the fullsize dogs or humans came to open the door for him.

Last week, we were up at my parent's again, and I watched him hunt around the living room until he found his slightly-sticky orange rubber ball (It's clean, it's just a kind of rubber that's always a bit tacky), carry it across the house, stand up on his hind legs at the back door, put the rubber ball on top of the gap between the knob and the wall, and then push down on the ball, which caught the doorknob and turned it for him, thus opening the door. He let himself out, had a merry time yelling at the squirrels, came back in, stopped a few feet inside the door, went back out, grabbed his ball, and brought it back into his kennel, a place he can leave toys if he doesn't want the other dogs playing with them.

This means he somehow worked out how doorknobs work, how fucking levers work, and that his orange rubber ball specifically was the one that would work (none of his other toys are the correct size/texture), that he'd need that ball specifically to open the door again, and yesterday he did the same trick with the bedroom door, so he knows that the rubber ball/skeleton key can be used on all doorknobs, not just that one.

I wonder if I can teach him to sweep.

___

If you want to fund Herschel's research into Tool Use and/or get me therapy for the ensuing chaos, please feel free to donate to my Ko-Fi, or get further Dog Content by subscribing to my Patreon.

#Family Lore #Dogs #Herschel the Haunkkah Goblin #Charleston Chew

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gimmeurtmi · 6 months

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groupie — 2min

pairing: kim seungmin x fem!reader x lee minho

tags: established relationship, polyamory, rock band!au, smut!!!🔞

warnings: swearing, throuple, mxm, sex in a public setting (but they're alone), possessive!minho, he's so jealous, use of “bunny”, “bubs”, "baby," and "babe", they jokingly refer to reader as their groupie many times, talking about putting out to get famous (no one does it ofc), facials, lmk if i forgot

inspo: 2min in the rockstar teaser pics.

notes: i can't not get carried away when it's 2min. this was meant to be just smut but i guess it kinda has a bit of plot and also it was not meant to be this long. it's also filthy as shit.

{ wc: 4126}

You leaned against the old, rusty sink, waiting patiently for your boyfriends to finish whatever they were getting up to.

There was a constant bloop noise, as other than rusty the sink was also leaking despite your attempts to fully shut the stream off.

As soon as they finished their set you rushed towards the most secluded place you could find. There was a toilet at the very edge of the backstage area of the venue with a sign that read “out of order”. The sign itself was so old that the marker used to write the words out was already starting to fade, a light layer of dust turning the white page to an unattractive beige.

Minho texted you just before he walked on stage, saying that he needed you. You told him where you were as soon as you settled.

After a few minutes the door opened slowly, creaking loudly and echoing horribly against the stained walls of the toilets.

“Why here?” Minho asked, planting a small kiss in your hair.

“Having sex in your dressing room stresses me out,” you rolled your eyes, “I can’t have fun when I keep feeling like we’re gonna get caught.”

“So you’d rather have sex in what is clearly a drug den?” He chuckled, wiping his hands against the counter where a few white specks were scattered around.

“No one’s gonna come in here though,” you reasoned.

“Unless you wanna wait until we go home?” Minho asked softly, his eyes sparkling at you.

You shook your head quickly. “When is Seungmin gonna finish, do you think?”

“Probably not for another hour,” Minho clicked his tongue, “some guys came backstage and started kissing his ass.”

You chuckled, “shouldn’t we go save him then?”

“No,” Minho shook his head, “they’re producers.”

You let out a small gasp, eyebrows high. “So why aren’t we there making him look better?”

“Because I’ve been hard through the whole set and I need your help,” he whined, snaking his hands around your waist.

You giggled at him before planting a comforting kiss to his forehead. “You did really well either way, didn’t even notice it.”

It was true, Minho did a wonderful job during their performance and luckily for him, being a drummer meant no one in the audience could see the problem he evidently had.

“I fucking hate him, by the way,” Minho mumbled as he buried his head into your neck. He planted small kisses on your skin, rubbing his palms around your back.

“Let me guess,” you sighed, “he left you high and dry seconds before you guys went on stage?”

“How did you know?”

“He looked especially smug,” you giggled, smiling widely at Minho’s annoyed expression.

“Help me,” Minho whined again.

“Why am I being made to clean his mess?” You exclaimed with a chuckle.

“Because,” he whined. You shook your head, chuckling at his antics.

It’s not that you didn’t want to help him with his problem, it was the only thing you were thinking about as you watched their performance. Minho was incredibly attractive when he played his drums, even more so with his new black hair—long enough to cover his eyes. The black eyeshadow you helped him put on before the show looked beautiful behind his bangs.

Now his eye makeup was slightly smudged from the sweat and the warm bright lights he was under. It made his eyes look darker somehow, more dangerous, even if he was whining at you like the sensitive person he actually is. But only you and Seungmin knew that side of him—everyone else thought he was another asshole wanna be rockstar like so many others were.

Minho leaned in to press his lips against yours softly, rubbing his thumb against your cheek lightly. “You’re staring, bunny.”

“Just admiring how well I did your makeup tonight,” you say, voice too thin to be at all believable.

“You wanna suck my dick so bad,” Minho chuckled, leaning in to kiss you with far more intent than before.

You didn’t answer, because that would mean pulling away from the kiss—and that’s the last thing you wanted. You grabbed onto his oversized shirt, pulling him even closer to you as your tongues clashed noisily.

He squeezed your hips tightly before he backed you up into the counter quickly, the pair of you stumbling as you climbed onto the solid surface with Minho’s blind help.

He didn’t pull away from the kiss once, sucking and nibbling at your bottom lip while his hand buried in your hair.

He didn’t waste any more time, bringing his hand between your bodies to softly rub against your clothed core. You mirrored his actions, rubbing him through his dark jeans.

In pure desperation, the pair of you started moaning loudly at the rush of pleasure.

As soon as you started playing with his zipper Minho pulled away, enough to fish for the condom he shoved into his pocket earlier that day. He asked you to hold onto it as he quickly shoved his jeans down—a small clatter noise following his action as his drumsticks fell out of his back pocket and onto to the floor.

You jumped off the counter, rushing to pull your own pants down. Minho rubbed your hips softly, kissing you quickly before he flipped you around—his dick rubbing against your ass as he pulled your back flat against his chest.

“You don’t need any prep?” He kisses your shoulder.

“Had too much time on my hands in the morning,” you chuckled.

Minho rolled his eyes at you with a soft smile sitting on his fond face. He eagerly grabbed the condom from you, throwing the wrapper to the floor as he quickly rolled it onto his dick.

He didn’t waste any time as soon as you gave him a reassuring nod, sinking all the way inside you.

Although you did use your toy in the morning, enough time has passed since then. Minho was stretching you fully, the sting slightly uncomfortable as he started to move.

He could notice, given the lack of your usual loud moaning, and so he made sure to distract you from it by sucking onto your neck.

The sensation paired with his hands digging into the flesh of your ass was enough to add to the wetness in your core—helping Minho to slide in and out of you with much more ease.

Soon your moans started echoing against the horrible acoustics of the toilets, mixing in with the sound of skin slapping against skin, and the big zippers on either of Minho’s pant leg dragging against the floor.

You gripped onto the counter, hard, relaxing against Minho’s hold as he slammed your bodies together.

“More, Min, please,” you whimpered, as the pleasure started building inside your stomach.

You knew he was needy from his text, and then you knew it again when you watched him play his drums with so much energy. And now, with his thrusts fast and unrelenting–you were sure nothing could make him stop until he was satisfied. And you were happy to be the person to satisfy him.

He held onto your hip bones tightly, using his grip to move you against his body, and so he told you to start rubbing your clit for him.

You brought a hand between your legs, trying your best to concentrate as Minho moved your body around quite roughly.

Then a loud creak made you yelp, the door opening slowly.

You jumped into Minho’s arms–him doing his best to shield you from the unwanted guest. Until the guest said, “sorry, sorry! It’s me!”

You both let out a sigh of relief as Seungmin walked up to the pair of you.

He planted a kiss on Minho’s lips before giving you a kiss as well, smiling softly.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he apologised, “I honestly didn’t think you’d be at it already.”

“Ran out of patience,” Minho grumbled. Noticing you were still tense around him, he rubbed your stomach softly, waiting until your body relaxed into him again.

“I wonder why,” Seungmin hummed, as if in deep thought.

“Fuck you,” Minho narrowed his eyes at him.

“Would you, hyung?” Seungmin grinned, wrapping his finger around Minho’s necklace before he tugged on it.

Minho stumbled into him, holding onto you with one hand as the other went to Seungmin’s shoulder to keep his balance.

“I’m in the middle of something,” Minho said, voice low. You could still hear him loudly, his voice jumping against the walls harshly.

“Yeah, I can see,” Seungmin laughed, bringing a hand to your hair as he rubbed his fingers against your scalp. “Thought you were my groupie.”

You chuckled at his pout, rolling your eyes at him. “Drummers do it better.”

Minho laughed at that, pushing into your softly. You almost forgot the two of you were still connected, but you supposed his renewed movement was meant to be some sort of reward for your remark. Truthfully, Minho was just waiting for you to feel comfortable again–and being a little shit to Seungmin was your ultimate comfort zone.

“And here I thought being the lead singer of a failing rock band would get me all the groupies I could ever want,” Seungmin sighed longingly.

“Heard you’re not failing anymore,” you patted his shoulder, “why aren’t you jerking off a producer somewhere?”

“Oh god,” Seungmin said, eyes wide, “they were all so hot.”

At that, Minho slammed into you roughly. Seungmin chuckled at your surprised groan before he jumped onto the counter. He grabbed your arms, manoeuvring you to stand right in front of him and lean your hands on his thighs.

He sunk his fingers into your hair again, scratching your scalp lightly. It was a big contrast to Minho’s rough thrusts, and you couldn’t understand which sensation your body was focused on. You let it overwhelm you either way.

“There were three of them,” he explained in a soft voice as Minho kept fucking into you, “they said they’d love to speak to our manager so I panicked and gave them Jeongin’s number. I didn’t want them to think we were massive rookies that don’t even have a manager.”

“But… you don’t,” you said, breathlessly.

“Sure, but I didn’t want Mr. Chan to think that. I also think he was flirting with me,” Seungmin rambled on. He wasn’t usually one to talk so much, the only exception being the few hours after they came off stage. The adrenaline always made him chatty, which neither of you minded usually.

But Minho was a jealous person.

“Oh, flirting with you, was he?” He said through clenched teeth.

“I think so,” Seungmin simply nodded, “and one of the other ones kept asking about you. Think he has a thing for drummers, too.”

He meant that last part at you, and you chuckled softly.

“So I think it can be a group effort,” he suggested, bringing his thumb to your cheek in a soft caress, “I’ll take that Chan guy, Minho can take the chatty one, and you can have the third one. His muscles looked amazing.”

“Wait, what?” You asked, hoping Minho didn’t notice you clenching. You didn’t know what these guys looked like, nor did you really care to partake in what Seungmin was talking about–but the way he said it so casually caused something to light up in your stomach.

“You know,” Seungmin gestured to the air, “fucking producers to get famous? It’s in all the rockstar handbooks.”

You laughed, but Minho stayed silent. In fact, he stopped moving entirely. He tapped your back slightly, an unconscious act he always did before he pulled out. So you knew to expect it, but it still surprised you when it happened.

You quickly turned around to face him, watching as he pulled the condom off and got dressed. Confused about what was going on, you did the same. You leaned against Seungmin’s knees, finding comfort in the way he instantly opened his legs and let you stand between them as the pair of you looked at Minho, silently.

“Hyung?”

Minho clenched his jaw, blinking rapidly as he looked anywhere but at the pair of you. You waited silently, as you knew to do with Minho. Sometimes he just needed a moment or two.

“You’re mine,” he mumbled, before looking back up at the pair of you, “both of you are mine.”

“Yes, hyung, of co–”

“--it turned her on, you know,” he said, sending an angry look your way. You brought your hands around your stomach, embarrassed that he did in fact notice.

“Yeah, well, just because Y/N’s a slut doesn’t mean I meant it like that,” Seungmin explained.

“Hey!” You tried to defend yourself, slapping Seungmin’s knee in protest. It didn’t help that you were still soaking wet–and him calling you names so casually wasn’t going to help you calm down.

“Mine,” Minho said again, far more determined this time. “Neither one of you is touching anyone else. I’m not letting anyone near you two.”

He closed the gap between you, trapping you in between his arms and Seungmin as he placed his hands flat on the younger’s thighs. You noticed his slid his fingers underneath the ripped out holes in Seungmin’s jeans, slowly raking his nails against the smooth skin of his thighs. You could hear Seungmin breathing louder.

“It’ll be for a good cause though,” Seungmin said, unable to stop teasing.

“I don’t give a shit about that,” Minho grumbled, “you’re mine.”

Seungmin tapped your waist lightly, slowly, as if he didn’t want Minho to see–which made you understand he definitely didn’t. He was giving you a hint, urging you to join him in provoking Minho even more.

“Don’t you wanna be famous, Min? I think Seung will have to fuck some producers to make that happen.”

“Mine,” Minho repeated, louder, “Kim Seungmin isn’t fucking anyone. And neither are you.”

“But, hyung,” Seungmin started, snaking his arms around your waist and reaching out for the loops on Minho’s jeans. He pulled him even closer to you–his still hard dick rubbing against your body lightly. “Do you wanna keep playing gigs at shitty venues?”

“Yeah,” Minho shrugged.

“And having to work two jobs for a month just to get one hour of studio time?” He added.

“Who cares,” Minho rolled his eyes, before looking right at you. He was daring you to say something else, you knew it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it when his brown eyes were staring right at you like that. “There isn’t anything in this world that would make me share you two.”

“And if I wanted it for my birthday?” Seungmin asked with a toothy grin.

“Kim Seungmin,” Minho grumbled, grabbing onto the collar of Seungmin’s white blazer, “you’re such a fucking brat.”

“And you’re a jealous idiot,” he smirked back.

At that Minho grabbed the back of Seungmin’s neck, surging forward above your shoulder as he kissed him. The pair of them moaned into each other’s mouths, and you angled yourself as best you could to enjoy the view of them.

Minho always got so intense when he was even a little bit jealous, and considering how red his ears currently were it was safe to assume he was extremely jealous right now. Even though the scenario you were talking about was hypothetical at best, it didn’t stop Minho from letting his possessiveness take over him.

As the pair kept kissing, Seungmin brought a hand between your legs, tracing your wetness with his fingers. You quickly reacted, escalating things further as you grabbed Minho’s oversized white shirt from the collar, pulling it down to suck on the space right below his collarbone. It was his favourite spot, almost always already marked–but this time it wasn’t. You and Seungmin were surely lacking, but you’d quickly correct that.

With your mouth occupied with marking Minho’s beautiful skin, you opened the button on his jeans, shoving your hand into his boxers to start pumping his dick.

Minho pulled away from Seungmin’s lips at that, eyes fluttering shut as he threw his head back, enjoying your actions deeply–if the loud moans he let slip past his lips were anything to go by.

Seungmin, ever impatient, was eager for more kisses, and so he grabbed your chin and turned your face towards him. He instantly sucked on your bottom lip, groaning into your mouth.

As you kissed him, eager to taste him, he brought his hand into your underwear, slipping two fingers inside you with ease.

“Fuck,” he pulled away, watching as he shut his eyes tightly.

You then noticed Minho’s hand was down Seungmin’s boxers, too.

“Bubs, you’re so wet,” he moaned.

“You’d hope so if my dick was inside her like five minutes ago,” Minho grumbled. You squeezed his length lightly, prompting another loud moan to leave him, proving an effective way to shut him up.

“Can I be inside you?” Seungmin asked lowly, his breath shuddering as Minho started moving his hand quicker.

“Please,” you nodded eagerly.

You watched as Minho quickly dragged Seungmin off the counter. You watched as he tugged off Seungmin’s ripped jeans, getting another condom out of his pocket and rolling it on Seungmin’s length.

You waited as he secured it in place before Seungmin pushed down your pants. Just like Minho, he grabbed your ass firmly before slowly sliding into your core.

This time, you had Minho in front of you, and you could easily fall into his chest as Seungmin started thrusting into you. Minho held onto your back as Seungmin held your hips–and the sound of all three of you moaning was so incredibly loud in the old out of order toilets.

You hoped and prayed the rest of the crew were still loading Hyunjin’s van with the equipment and wouldn’t hear everything that was going on.

As much as you didn’t want to get caught (again, technically) you also really really couldn’t care enough to stop, nor be quiet about it.

Seungmin’s cock felt so good inside you, hitting the soft spot deep inside your body repeatedly as Minho kissed along your neck. He was rubbing himself against your stomach, moaning into your skin.

Minho peppered kisses along your jaw until he reached your cheek, placing soft and tender kisses on your skin.

“Mine, baby,” he reminded you softly. You nodded eagerly, moaning pathetically as your legs started to shake.

Seungmin was panting against your shoulder, his moans too broken to even make a sound at this point.

“Minho,” you moaned, willing your eyes to focus on his intense glare and not roll to the back of your head. He nodded at you, choking back a moan as you wrapped your hand around his length, rubbing your thumb against the tip lightly.

“Want both of you to cum inside me,” you groaned.

At that, Seungmin started to move faster–more desperate as he slid a hand underneath your shirt and grabbed your tits.

“Can’t get our groupie pregnant,” Minho smirked at you, “not good for the reputation.”

You let your head fall on Seungmin’s shoulder, eyes fluttering shut as he tugged on your nipples harshly. The pain mixed with the pleasure in the best way imaginable, and all you could do in response was pump Minho’s cock faster.

“Then cum on my tits, please, Min,” you begged, pushing your shirt up. You looked down at your chest, the sight of Seungmin’s big hands enveloping your chest caused you to clench around him tightly. “‘M close,”

“Where’d your bra go?” Minho tsked at you, “threw it on stage?”

You chuckled lightly, arching your back further into Seungmin’s chest.

“Seung, seung, don’t stop,” you started chanting, moans pitching higher and higher as Seungmin reached around to rub your clit in quick circles.

You grabbed onto Minho’s arms, grounding yourself as he pulled you into a messy kiss. You could barely concentrate on it, spit running down the corner of your mouth as you felt your high approaching you in seconds.

Before you could warn them you pulled away from Minho, your whole body shaking around Seungmin as he wrapped an arm around your stomach, holding you up as your knees threatened to give way. Minho sucked a spot on your neck as Seungmin fucked you through your orgasm–the pair of them surrounding you completely.

Soon after, as your walls were still fluttering in the aftershock, Seungmin came too–moaning your name loudly. You were both spent, but it didn’t stop you from pumping Minho together, Seungmin grabbing the base while you rubbed his tip.

“I’m close,” he warned, groaning as the pair of you started moving faster.

“Ask him again,” Seungmin whispered in your ear.

“Min, cum on me,” you said quickly.

“Go on, hyung,” Seungmin encouraged, “mark your territory.”

“Then I.. should, fuck, should cum on you, too,” Minho panted.

Seungmin smirked at you, that wicked smirk of his, before he pushed you onto your knees. He went down with you, joining you on the floor as he simply–with the most innocent puppy eyes he could master–stuck his tongue out. You quickly followed his lead, sticking your tongue out, too.

In a matter of seconds you felt warmth dropping onto your cheeks, and you watched in awe as Minho aimed the rest of his cum onto Seungmin’s tongue.

You pouted up at him, complaining loudly that he completely missed your tongue.

“Come here then,” Seungmin growled, pulling you into a kiss. It was salty and messy and bitter and you whimpered into the kiss.

You pulled away, desperate for some oxygen, and Seungmin took the opportunity to clean your cheeks from Minho’s cum–scooping it off your skin before he shoved his fingers in your mouth.

He chuckled at you, watched as you sucked his fingers clean before letting out hushed praises.

You felt Minho rub your head lightly, scratching at your hair as you looked up at him. “Let’s clean up, bunny.”

Seungmin helped you stand up as the three of you cleaned each other up, soft kisses exchanged between you. Once you were dressed again, and Seungmin spent a good few minutes trying to make your hair look normal again, Minho’s phone rang.

“It’s Felix, they said they took all the equipment back and they’re at a bar now. Wanna go join them?”

“Would it be lame if I said I wanna go sleep now?” Seungmin grumbled, making a point of plopping his chin on your shoulder.

Minho rolled his eyes, waiting for your answer as well. “I’m not a rockstar, so I definitely want to go to sleep now.”

“Let’s go home then,” Minho decided, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as he guided the pair of you out of the old, crumbling toilets.

Seungmin grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers together as the three of you walked in silence towards the parking lot.

That was until Minho decided to announce, “that was actually the worst place we’ve done it in. Hands down.”

“Hyung, nothing screams rockstar more than a quickie in a gross toilet with your number one groupie,” Seungmin reasoned.

“Number one?” You gasped, “you have another groupie?”

“Yes,” Seungmin smirked, “but he’s actually also the drummer in my band so I don’t know if it counts.”

“It doesn’t,” Minho huffed, “because the lead singer of my band is gonna disappear mysteriously tonight.”

The two of you laughed, watching fondly as Minho did his best to hold back his smile.

That night, the three of you climbed into bed–letting Minho take the middle so as to let his possessive streak from before calm down slightly. You were sure he wasn’t actually too insecure about it, but if being sandwiched between the two of you was what he needed you’d allow him that. Even if you did prefer the middle.

As the three of you snuggled closer to each other, Seungmin went into more concrete details about the producers he met. How they offered to record one of the songs they performed that night, how they always wanted to work with a rock band before–even though they were primarily into rap genres.

“Babe, did you tell the others about this?” Minho gasped, blinking rapidly.

“No, I went straight to you guys,” Seungmin shrugged.

“Well, this is huge for the band, Seungminnie. We have to tell them in the morning.” Seungmin nodded.

You moved closer into Minho’s chest, smiling proudly at your boyfriends.

“I can come to the studio, right? I have to see it happening,” you smiled.

“Obviously,” Seungmin grinned, “I mean, we still need to take one producer each, you know.”

You slapped Seungmin from across Minho’s torso, tsking at his apparently uncontrollable need to tease his boyfriend.

“Do you wanna go again, Kim Seungmin?” Minho grumbled at him, jaw clenching.

“Oh, baby,” Seungmin swooned dramatically, “thought you’d never ask.”

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david-watts · 1 year

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I’m going to fuckin kill myself

#I don't even care about uni anymore but this will both cut me off of welfare and will get me treated horribly by my family :)#not even my fault for most of the issues I've had. but of course because they're things to do with me #that I actually can't control!#it's gonna be considered my fault #by both them and my family.#'oh you should've pushed through crippling anxiety and delusions so bad you couldn't get out of bed in order to not fail'#one of them will say 'well you should've accessed care that you can't actually access that's a you problem'#and the other would say 'you were just lazy and should've tried harder even though you were trying your hardest'

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tetsumie · 1 year

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"𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐎 𝐂𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐘"

read part 2 here!

pairing: tsukishima x reader & suna x reader

genre: hurt/comfort

a/n: sorry i got carried away writing these ahh i sort of twisted the prompt of "when they call you clingy" into my own sort of thing idk how to explain but hopefully this turned out well :,) also not proofread so sorry about the mistakes! and as always feel free to send me requests and tell me ur thoughts on my writing!

tsukishima kei

tsukishima, you, and a few of the former karsuno volleyball players decided to have a small little reunion dinner after not seeing each other for so long.

everyone's embracing each other with hugs and to be frank, it's really nice of him to invite you to meet his friends from high school! you're really looking forward to getting to know them and maybe even getting to know your boyfriend a bit more.

as all of you are sitting at the table debating what to order, there's much chit chat between everyone and you swear you haven't seen kei so carefree in a while. sure, he's still throwing his sarcastic, snarky comments but they don't hit too harshly towards his teammates.

they are most definitely used to this.

the food has arrived and way too much wine has been ordered. with their slurred words and pink cheeks, you can tell all of them are going to blackout the moment they all get home.

"kei, so how'd you pull this gorgeous girl?" tanaka asks out of nowhere "ain't no way she fell for your snarky ass personality."

you and him both let out a chuckle and he replied with, "nah, they're just clingy as fuck and i guess they were fun to keep around."

you go quiet and the laughter has sort of died out. but the drinks keep pouring and nishinoya speaks.

"god, you're a fucking asshole," nishinoya chimes. "she's way too good for you.

although the conversation begins to take a turn in a different direction, you can't seem to get his words out of your mind.

clingy. he thinks i'm clingy.

a ball of insecurity starts to form in your stomach and his comment starts the train of overthinking. you keep telling yourself that he's had too many drinks.

yet a part of you is telling you that drunk thoughts are sober words.

how long has he thought of me as "clingy?"

the small chuckles and laughs that escape your lips have come to a halt and now you're feeling incredibly insecure. you begin to zone out and start chugging down a few glasses of wine to drown out your surroundings.

after a few eventful hours, you and tsukishima decide to grab a taxi and head home for the night. he unlocks the door to your shared apartment and you immediately head into the bedroom to change your clothes, not sparing him a second glance.

tsukishima enters the bed after cleaning up and his arm drapes over your chest. your body goes completely stiff and you're super uncomfortable with his touch, especially after his comment about you being clingy.

the moment you hear his light snores, you slowly remove his arm off your body and turn to face away from him. a feeling of numbness begins to overtake your body and you feel a sense of emptiness within.

the next morning, tsukishima woke up with a horrible headache and he instantly regretted drinking so much last night. he groans and pats your side of the bed and is greeted by just the bedsheets and not you.

grumbling, he got out of bed in search of you and finds you standing by the balcony with a cup of coffee in your hand. in that moment, his heart skips a beat and he's reminded of how much he loves you.

you yelp in surprise when you feel two arms slither around your torso and his chin resting on your shoulder. "good morning baby," he kisses your cheek.

"hi kei," you say curtly.

"what's for breakfast?"

"i just made myself toasted bread with jam. you can just make some cereal or something. i think we still have your lucky charms in the pantry," you tell him.

he pulls away from you and he feels something is off with you. you feel distant.

the feeling is confirmed when the both of you are sitting on the living room sofa while watching the new episode of your favorite reality tv show. kei expects you to come close to him and rest your head on his shoulder like you usually do yet there you are, in his vicinity, but sitting on the other end of the couch, clinging to a throw pillow.

he can't seem to concentrate on the movie when the only thing he can see is you sitting to yourself, gone completely quiet. he doesn't know what's wrong and he can't rack his mind as to what might have happened that made you so distant.

after the movie ends, he kisses your forehead and he feels your body stiffen.

what's going on? i don't know what i did?

he pulls away and looks at you. "y/n, something's wrong," he states.

you refuse to meet his gaze now and your twiddling with your fingers. he seems to have no recollection of what he's said to you last night. although, he might not recall what he said, it's the only thing you can recall in your mind. ever since this morning, whenever, you look at him, the only thing running in your mind is his words, "nah, she's just clingy as fuck and i guess she was fun to keep around."

"we're good," you reply promptly. "don't worry about it."

he grabs your hands and puts them in his which catches you off guard. you love the feeling of his hand in yours but the rational part of your brain wants to pull away, thinking about how he thought you were so clingy.

"listen, i'm not good at this. i'm not good at communicating my feelings but for you, i want to do better. so please, it would mean a lot if you could tell me what's wrong so i can help you and... us."

this is the most genuine you've seen him in a while and although to most, it may have seemed like some half-assed speech but to you, it felt raw and vulnerable.

"ok well," you began. "last night, when we were out with your friends, you were talking with your friends and well, you mentioned something about me. and it made me wonder if you think i'm clingy?"

he was confused. "no, i don't think you're clingy anymore? i don't know what you're talking about?"

the "anymore" in his response to you was something that saddened you a little. he found me clingy yet never told me?

"so you did think i was clingy, right?"

with a deep breath, he began to explain himself, "when we got together, i wasn't really used to... being so close to someone. you would always hold my hand or loop your arm in mine or something. you would always be holding me or touching me and i wasn't sure how i felt it about it at first. i was never one for physical touch so when you began to show that to me, i just... it felt... suffocating."

you're looking into his eyes, swimming with sadness and searching for answers, and he feels a mixture of sadness and guilt as he continues to explain himself.

"but being with you, i've grown to love your touch and honestly, now that i think about it, i don't know what i'd do if you just stopped being yourself and clinging on to me. i would go insane if you stopped."

kei leans in for a hug and you hug him back. you missed holding him like this and well, you just miss him. but now that kei has said all this, you're not sure about anything anymore.

you pull away and tell him, "i'm sorry you couldn't tell me that you were uncomfortable with my touches. i should have asked you how fast or slow you wanted to go and i shouldn't have forced my affection on to you."

"if you want, we can slow down. i understand," you say with a tone of finality in your voice.

"no!" he immediately replied. "it's.. it's not that. you don't force your affection on to me. you never have. i just am awkward with affection and growing up, i've never had it so i'd get super fidgety and that's why i think i felt like you were being clingy. but i love it."

"i love it when you hold my hand when we're walking to the grocery store. i love it when you doodle on my hand with your fingers when we're waiting for the food to come when we eat out. i love it when you tell me about the little stories from work while you're cooking dinner. i love it when you mumble in your sleep and snuggle close to me when it gets cold at night. i love everything about you."

kei was very much out of his comfort zone as he told you all these things and it surprised you that he noticed all these little details. you could tell he was getting embarrassed, considering how his cheeks were turning pink. you couldn't help but let a little smile seep through your facial features.

"you're so sappy," you reply.

"oh shut up."

you both laugh and then he cups your cheek in his hand, rubbing his thumb in circles. "don't ever think you force your affection on me because you never do, okay?"

"okay, kei."

the both of you spend the rest of the day with one another, making comforting memories together that the both of you will fondly remember in the future.

suna rintaro

you're not even sure how this argument even started. all you can remember is asking suna if he could accompany you to a work party that you were invited to. it was supposed to be a relatively relaxing event with not too much worries yet suna was once again trying to bail out.

"come on rin! it's one party and we never get to go out anymore," you try again for the nth time.

"y/n, jesus, i told you this, i don't want to fucking go! practice is draining me out and the one day i get off, you want me to go to some stupid fucking work party. can't you see that i want to be home?"

"we won't even have to be there that long! i just want you to come with me so you can meet some of my friends and support me. i'm really not asking for much," you counter. "i'm always trying to go to your games to support you from the stands and i'm asking you to do this one thing for me."

"i never fucking asked you to come to my games!" suna's voice began to rise and you felt yourself shrink. you had never seen him so intensely angry before. he was always so nonchalant so seeing this side of him made you nervous. "god, you're just so suffocating with everything. you always wanna do shit together, like jeez, give me a break. you're so fucking clingy sometimes; i just want space."

your mouth snaps shut and you can't find it in yourself to even reply. suna leaves the bedroom and you can head the jangle of his keys and the front door opens and then slams shut. a tear escapes from one eye and then all of a sudden, it's a full blown mental breakdown. you're sitting on the bed, crying off all your makeup.

after your cries turn into sniffles, you call up one of your colleagues, telling them you won't be attending the party. that night, you end up crying yourself to sleep.

suna had come home quite late that night after storming out.

in his head, he admits that the argument had blown up for no reason. but he just really didn't want to see your coworkers. he was cranky, annoyed, and irritated, making him deeply irrational.

as he walks into the bedroom, he sees you fast asleep in your clothes that you were planning to go out in and your makeup smudged all over your face. he felt incredibly guilty.

he messed up big time and he had to fix this. he hoped in the morning, the both of you would wake up together so he could talk it out and apologize.

you wake up the next morning feeling a lot better than last night. you turn to see suna lying in bed and a part of you just wants to run your fingers through your hair. as your fingers hover above his head, you're reminded of his words from last night.

you're so fucking clingy sometimes. i just want space.

your fingers immediately retracted and you decided to get up to start the rest of your day. you didn't want to let his words get to you. he said his opinion and there's nothing much you could do other than give him space. you'd be doing him a favor by giving him that space that he wanted, right?

suna shifts in bed, arm reaching out to your side of the bed, subconsciously. as he pats down your side of the bed, he feels the emptiness and he jolts up out of bed.

he's walking out of the bedroom and he sees you sitting on the couch, watching something on the television.

a sigh of relief escapes his mouth, thanking whatever deity out there that you hadn't left. even if you did, he couldn't blame you for it. he hurt you and there was no denying that.

"hi babe," he casually says alouds and plops on the couch next to you.

"hey."

your tone is cold and to be frank, you could care less than speak to him right now. seeing him is just a constant reminder of how clingy you are and you really don't want to be confronted with the feeling of sadness again.

in an attempt to smooth things over with you, he tries to start conversation in hopes that things will get back to normal naturally and maybe.. just maybe you'll know that he's sorry without him saying it.

"osamu was talking about some new onigiri thing he made and he wanted to drop some off for us to try. should i say yes?" he asked.

"sure."

your responses to his efforts are completely shut down and he's just praying that things get better with time. he reassures himself that things will go back to normal, it's just a matter of time. within a few days, things will be back to normal!

that's what he thought until his first volleyball match of the season came about. as he was standing in the court, his eyes scanned the rest of the stadium for your figure in hopes of finding you wearing his jersey but to no avail, he couldn't find you.

he assumed you were running late or stuck in traffic. no matter what you would be here, right?

but the first set is already over and you're nowhere to be seen. taking a quick break, he texts you:

suna: r u here?

suna: i don't see u in the stands.

it's delivered and suna's back in the court. he's misreading all of the opponent's attacks and his blocks are all being haphazardly done. the only thing on his mind is you.

the EJP coach calls for a timeout and sits him out for the rest of the match. "i don't know what's going on with you but you need to pull it together. your slacking is messing up with the rest of the team," coach berated him and all suna could do was nod his head.

he sat on the bench and immediately grabs his phone to text you.

suna: can you please answer?

suna: or call me? please?

suna: fuck y/n

suna: r u ok?

with no response, concern is etched onto his face. he tells his coach that he has to go and although he's about to suffer hell when he goes to practice tomorrow for dipping, he needs to see you.

you're seeing all of his messages.

you've seen all of them.

and you don't want to respond to a single one of them.

you know he's coming home and he's about to bombard you with questions and you don't want to respond to him. you don't want to come off as clingy again.

you hear the jangle of the keys and prepare yourself.

he opens the door and finds you in the kitchen, making yourself some snacks.

"so where were you today?" he begins.

"at home."

his hands find their way to your waist and he slowly turns you around to look him in the eye. "why didn't you come?"

you sigh in frustration. "i don't know what you want from me. you say i'm clingy and you want some space and on top of that you mentioned how you've never asked me to go to any of your games so here i am respecting your wishes like you asked yet you have the fucking audacity to ask me where i was and why i wasn't with you?"

his hands let go of your waist and he steps back to fully look at you.

"rin, i don't know what you want from me anymore."

suna's mouth opens and then shuts, not sure as to what to say to you. you were more upset about his comment than you let on and now all your anger and frustration was coming out.

"listen, i-"

"no, you listen to me," you interrupt, immediately shutting him up. "all i wanted that night was for you to come to my work party. it's all i wanted. that party was mainly for me because i helped our company reach this new milestone! and i wanted you to come and celebrate with me and my colleagues. is it so much to ask for my boyfriend to come support me?"

"and then you go on to say i'm clingy and do you have any idea how much it hurt me when you said that? when you would talk to me about anything, the only thing going through my head would be the fact that you called me clingy and god, i just wanted to vanish in thin air because i hated knowing that you thought that of me which is why i gave you your space. i kept thinking you just didn't want my affection."

you rest your elbows on the kitchen countertop and put your face in your hands. you finally burst out with all the feelings that have been suffocating your mind. it felt good to finally relieve it all but you could only imagine what was going through his mind. was he mad or upset or did he just not care about my feelings?

all of a sudden, you feel two arms wrap around your torso and kisses to the top of your head.

"love, you're not clingy. if anything, i'm the clingy one. i always want you by my side like at my games or when i go out with my friends or even if i'm just lying in bed. i want you."

he strokes your hair and now you're turning around to look at him again. his eyes are wide and a bit glassy. this is probably one of the first times you've seen emotion on his face aside from his regular snarky remarks.

"i wish i could take back what i said that night but i can't. but please know that i don't know what i'd do without you. i was really upset that night and all i wanted to was just sleep it off. but your insistence to go got me aggravated and i lashed out. you don't deserve that. you never deserve that."

"i want to be the one you wake up to in the morning. i want to be the one you take to all your work parties and events. i want to be the one you tell you gossip with. i want to be the one you have your late night talks with. i want to be the one you end your nights with. i want to be the one you spend the rest of your life with. i want to be yours."

tears started to escape your eyes and your heart was swollen. suna was never one to be so open with his emotions yet here he was opening so much to you. you hug his torso and sob into his chest.

"i love you, i'm sorry," you say.

"i love you too, and i'm sorry too," he replies, kissing the top of your forehead.

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waokevale · 3 months

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Introducing Follower gang!

There. Finally did all the Bishops follower designs!

The 7 deadly sins

And some other follower gang, done with lineart this time because the other 2 pieces made me lose my soul for how long they took.

(Also a small HC if I may: Dr. Sozonius is trapped inside the mushroom on Sozos head, while the actual mushroom is controlling his body)

+ some more doodles

Info about the 7 Sins and more doodles below:

Jeg represents Greed - he was one of the first of Lamb's followers. (At first, it was very difficult for Lambert to indoctrinate people, due to their inexperience, this guy was like the 5th or so) Jeg has...a very specific personality to say the least, yet the Lamb can't help but be fond of him. They eventually nominate him the Tax enforcer role and...That might've been the worst decision of their life. But they did not take the role away. Jeg acts smug 24/7 and relishes in his new power, but deep down, dudes pretty insecure, ( but don't tell anyone!) He used to have a huge crush on the lamb, but then Narinder and eventually the other bishops came, and since their leader was for some reason head over heels for the ex god of death, Jeg grew bitter and often got into fights with Nari, as well as charging him and his other siblings more than the average follower. Though he's mostly mellowed out since then.

Brash represents Gluttony They despise Helob, since they used to fight for "food" a lot, and eventually Brash got really injured and was found by the Lamb. She tried to eat them, but was quickly disarmed. Despite this, they decided to spare him and bring his sorry ass back to the cult to indoctrinate. They were very cunning and didn't trust the lamb either, but eventually they cooled off and accepted the new life. She still eats people tho, just not from the cult, otherwise jail or *worse*

Yara represents Pride She is one of the core followers. She's very strict and somewhat self-centered, she likes things done her way, or if not her way, the lambs way. Period. No one else can boss her around or even give a helpful advice. She's actually a pretty stand up deer, and despite being incredibly stubborn still makes a good friend. She gets along with most people though Brash annoys her, since he keeps snatching body parts off corpses. She has always been extremely devoted to the lamb and will be annoyed if any follower dissents and tries to preach against them. She wasn't surprised in the slightest when they eventually took down all the bishops.

Thorn represents Envy He had a pretty terrible life before the cult. When he was brought in, she was bitter about her newfound situation. He wasn't very trusting of the lamb and thought they expected something out of her (which technically they did, but it's just work). He envies the fools who are so oblivious and just do everything as they're told and let their lives be guided by some amateur god. Similar to the other two, he puts on a mask, He often acts overly saccharine to hide his true feelings, but doesn't have any bad intentions. (Most of the time) She does genuinely like some people, but others, he only pretends to like to appease the lamb or to blackmail them. He hates when the people he actually cares about are threatened.

Jermo represents Wrath Jermo absolutely does not trust anyone. Similar to Thorn, and most other followers tbh, their life was absolutely horrible prior to the cult. They trusted some people, they got betrayed, and almost died several times because of it. It was extremely difficult for the lamb to make them stop dissenting. They legit had to give them the loyalty necklace in order for them to finally stop dissenting. Jermo keeps getting into fights with other followers, because they feel as though everyone is always against them or is constantly judging them. (They're technically not wrong) They've died 5 times, because they keep getting into fights with other followers. Lamb strongly considered keeping them dead, but decided to challenge themself with them (also they're too cuddly to just be killed off) Despite their many, *many* flaws, Thorn has a huge crush on them, since he's one of the people who managed to see their soft side. Jermo, deep, deep, deep down actually cares a lot, but they've been hurt too much by everyone, so they retaliate for the same stuff to not repeat.

Herett represents Lust At some point, she passingly heard about the cult and since it seemed like a peaceful place from the rumors (and also had hot people in it) she eagerly joined in. She's usually in the kitchen area, if not hanging around the love tent or babysitting some kids. She crushes on almost everyone, but for some reason she hates Kallamar (legit in my actual game she rejected him so hard, despite having the lustful trait and not caring prior)

Mateo represents Sloth Is perhaps the 1st or 2nd of Lambs followers, so they're absolutely not letting go of him, dudes lived 4 long lives and is tired of it, he keeps switching jobs since with age he's been slacking off more. He's currently stuck as a janitor (he hates it) He's also one of the few people who managed to befriend Jermo, his mellow, don't care attitude is somewhat comforting to them. Aside that, he gets along with almost everyone, as best as he can at least.

Not much else to say about the gang in the third pic but Riley and Dannie are platonic bffs and were forced to babysit kids when the lamb was crusading. The lamb was a little incompetent here to give carnivores children to take care of, but thankfully they actually managed to be good with them and got used to being on nanny duty.

The capybara (Beige) is a retired teacher and adopted a little owlet to take care of (Chip)

While Femur is our below yellow cat, and that's my HC name for him. He's a gatherer here.

#cotl #cult of the lamb #cotl lamb #cotl narinder #cotl toww #cotl leshy #cotl helet #cotl kallamar #cotl shamura #cotl oc #cotl ocs #cotl sozo #cotl yellow cat #more ocs #cotl fanart

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aye-went-splat · 2 years

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How did I end up feeling crushed by political discourse again. I was doing so well avoiding it before but this week has just been nonstop internal monologue of how far I can tolerate disagreements

#then I make the stupid mistake of scrolling through the blog of someone I know I'll vehemently disagree with and then being agonized by #their horrible beliefs; self-importance; ignorance; and just ickyness #and then I can't even feel the cartharsis of whoever they're arguing with having better points #because they're just throwing out the cliches and dismissal of someone who doesn't want to deal with this shit but still engaged because #they had to make their disagreement known #which took me back into the cycle of how much you need to indulge someone who isn't looking to change their mind and purposely misconstrues #a theme in order to drive the conversation to a hill they love to martyr themselves on

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flowercrowngods · 1 year

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based on this post, because at this point i think it's safe to say @unclewaynemunson is actually my muse or something (hi anna i hope this is okay even though it’s, like, way angsty and way too long huh)

🤍 also on ao3

Two days after Starcourt, concussed and beaten, Steve has a seizure.

His ears are still ringing when the doctor gives him a stern glance over the rim of his glasses and pronounces him unfit to drive. No, in fact, he claims Steve poses a real danger to himself and others if he sat behind a wheel again.

Immediately, Dustin and Robin jump to promising that they won't let him do that, and in another life Steve is sure he would be grateful, or at least reasonable about it, but in this one he has a horrible second where the floor falls out from under him and he wishes, for just one second, that his head had been shaken a bit more, just enough to–

It makes him nauseous even thinking that. Everything does, lately. He closes his eyes against the offensive brightness of the hospital room and lets the sound of Dustin's and Robin's voices wash over him as he takes a moment to really take in what the doctor's orders entail.

He can't drive anymore. No more late night drives to watch the street lights pass and lull him into a safer state of mind than his bedroom walls could. No more driving the kids to their DnD sessions, no more taking Robin anywhere at the drop of a hat, no more bickering, no more reign over the music, no more stern glances through the rearview mirror, no more "Shut up, Wheeler, or you're leaving the car."

No more "Thanks, Steve!", no more "I'll bring some of mom's cookies if you drive us to the arcade", no more "You're the best" or "You're a lifesaver" or "I owe you one".

No more place for him in the group, no more use for him, no more...

No more. Nothing. Now he's just Steve, would-be lifesaver, 'has-been babysitter', 'could-have-been somebody until he lost his license to drive because he wasn't quick enough, wasn't good enough, wasn't strong enough'. Just Steve.

He doesn't know how to be that. Who is Steve Harrington without his car, without the one thing he was good for anymore?

The pit in his chest is deep enough, dark enough to pull him in, and for a moment the very thing he is good for is misery.

He waits until a nurse makes everyone leave for the night, and then he cries. It makes his head hurt, pressure building behind his eyes, but he's used to being in more pain than any teenager should be in, so he curls in on himself and hides underneath the blanket.

Here's to hoping the others won't notice just how useless he is now. Not too soon, anyway. He wants another month. A painless month filled with laughter and hugs, and then they're free to leave, to pull back slowly. Calls unanswered, radio channels changed so he won't reach them, sheepish apologies and rain checks, because now Nancy will drive them. Or Jonathan. Hell, maybe Max will take the risk just to avoid him.

---

He gets a week of daily visits in the hospital, the doctors and nurses insisting on keeping him here, a watchful eye on his vitals, scanning his head three times during his stay, insisting he has head trauma of a severely worrying degree.

Nancy picks him up from the hospital and it's awkward, tense, too much left unsaid between them but there's no one else to do it. Steve's hands are shaking, gripping the seatbelt the whole way home – and then his heart falls when he sees his Beemer in the driveway. The glorious, trusty, wonderful, best fucking car anyone could wish for. His baby. His.

He throw up into the brushes when he realises that he won't get to take it on one last ride. Maybe he shouldn't be so attached to a car. Maybe he's being pathetic about it. At least he can explain away the fat tears in his eyes now, and Nancy doesn't press.

The first thing he does when Nancy is gone is calling Robin, and she's excited when she says, "I'll come right over!" and Steve wants to ask, how, but he keeps his mouth shut, biting his lip. It's stupid, but the thought of someone else driving Robin over makes his skin crawl.

"Alright," he says instead, his voice raspy, and he hangs up before she can detect something in his voice.

After that, he goes outside again and runs his hand along his Beemer. It's shining in the sun; he had it cleaned the other week, the full program, every step in the book to celebrate four years since he got her.

"Four years, huh," Steve says, his nail catching on a minor scratch that isn't even visible but might be more familiar to him than even his home. "Damn good four years."

He's talking to his car. God, it's so stupid, it's so stupid, it's so stupid–

Steve's knees give out and he gives in to the desire that's burning under his skin sometimes, the desire to just sit down and ignore the world. Because everything is less real when you're sitting down somewhere you're not meant to be, and the ground is warm, and Steve just wants the world to go. His head is leaning back against the warm metal of the driver's door, and he closes his eyes for a while, his head still spinning, his ears still ringing, everything still awful.

After a while, there’s a shadow followed by a weight settling down between him, a head landing on his shoulder, a hand taking his.

"I'm so sorry, Stevie," Robin says. The lack of dingus makes it more real, somehow. More tragic. More pathetic.

"I'll live." And it feels a bit like a lie.

---

He gets his month. A month filled with barbecues in his backyard, the kids coming by after school to check on him, and Robin has practically moved in. Joyce picks him up on Friday nights for dinner at their house for a change of scenery.

It’s a good month, though Steve feels trapped. Caged. A bird without his wings, a boy without his car. Steve without his one purpose, the one thing he was good for. He has to be picked up because they don’t trust him walking, or they have to come to his place. And soon the worried glances that are thrown his way are too much, caging him further, reminding him of what this is. A pity party — quite literally. No one trusts him anymore, there’s always someone jumping to help him, not caring or listening to his protests.

And he can’t leave, because “What if you have a seizure in your room?”

It makes him want to scream.

Maybe it shows, or maybe everyone’s just fed up with him now that he can’t provide his taxi services anymore, but after summer the Byers dinners stop and the kids pull away.

“Told you that’s all I’m good for,” Steve says with a mean, pained huff as he hangs up the phone. Claudia said Dustin isn’t home, but he could hear the kids in the background. It hurts more than it should.

“What is?” Robin asks from her place on the floor with her back against the wall.

“Nothing.”

She frowns. “Come on, dingus, you can’t start and then—“

“No, I mean it. Nothing. That’s what I’m good for now that I can’t drive them anymore.”

“Bullshit!” she says, and it comes out so harsh that it makes Steve flinch. He swallows. Right. Robin isn’t hear to listen to him whine about how he feels like he has no place in this town, in this group, in this life anymore now that his head is so fucked up he can’t even be trusted to live alone.

That’s why Robin is here, right?

The babysitter becomes the babysitted… or something.

She doesn’t care, not really. She doesn’t listen. She doesn’t ask.

“Steve, they’re kids.”

“Yeah, well. So am I.”

He turns away from her and ignores the tears threatening to fall. The door to his room falls shut and he would love to lock it just to make a point to the world at large, a point that it can’t shut him out if he shuts himself in, but he knows it’s too risky. If he has a seizure, Robin needs to get in.

He can’t even stay in his room alone without supervision anymore. What kind of a fuck-up is he becoming, where does it end? He’s already managed to chase away the kids, even Dustin only checks on him sporadically anymore, and it hurts. He wants to know why, wants to know what he did, how to take it back, how to get them back.

But then he remembers how it all started. Dustin needed a ride and someone to take a beating. Both of which he can’t do anymore without risking life and death of himself and others. He’s a safety hazard. He’s useless. He’s Steve fucking Harrington, which doesn’t mean anything anymore.

---

And then it’s spring, and Chrissy Cunningham is found dead in Eddie Munson’s trailer. The group is back together again, the Party assembled once more. And Steve, for a just one second, hopes that he can get it right this time, that he can do this again. One last time. Because Vecna slash Henry slash One surely is it.

But then they turn on him — even Eddie looks confused, which is a rather adorable look on him — the moment Steve tries to get a word in.

“You’re not coming with us, Steve.” That’s Dustin, and Steve just rolls his eyes, but then Robin joins in.

“Yeah, no, I’m with the gremlin on this, dingus.”

“Hey!”

“Oh shut it, Henderson.” She turns to him, her eyes softer but no less burning another hole inside Steve. “We can’t risk it, Steve.”

“Risk what?” It’s a challenge. His shoulders squared, his jaw clenched, he’s challenging her, and it’s cruel.

She holds his eyes, her expression icy, like he’s stupid. “We can’t risk you dying. We can’t risk you getting a seizure mid-fight or just by being in the Upside Down.”

“Hey, woah,” Eddie tries to get a word in, but Steve won’t hear him as the desperation, the loneliness, the feeling of being caged like a bird and still the only human left on a desolate planet, all that breaks free.

“We all know that dying in a fight is the only thing I’m good for anyway.”

The silence among their war council, as Max dubbed it, is deafening.

“What?” Lucas sounds small when he asks that, and Steve closes his eyes. He hadn’t meant for him to hear that. Any of them, actually. They weren’t supposed to know.

“Steve, that’s not true.” Dustin’s words are filled with disbelief and worry, and Steve hates the worry, it makes his skin crawl, it makes his heart race, it makes his fists clenched and it makes him want to scream again.

“What else then, huh?” he asks weakly. “What else is there? None of you even talk to me anymore since Starcourt. Since summer.”

“Because you were pulling away,” Nancy explains, though her words are weak and her mouth clicks shut when Steve looks at her.

“Because we’re scared.” Max this time, and Steve doesn’t want to look at her, doesn’t want to tell a child that she’s not allowed to be scared for him— not more than he is, anyway. It doesn’t make sense for him to be hurt. They don’t want him to die. That’s a good thing, right? They didn’t want to see him hurt, so they looked away. It makes sense.

But it also hurts.

Steve shakes his head and pinches the bridge of his nose before all but running from the trailer. He doesn’t make it far (“Stay close so we won’t have to worry”), just needs some fresh air and to sit down somewhere the world will become a bit less real again.

The stairs it is. He tries to breathe through the lump in his throat, clenching and unclenching his hands to get rid of the anger and the hurt and all that excess energy.

He doesn’t want to die, is the thing. The very thought makes him nauseous and panicky. He wants his life back. His car. The freedom to just jump in there and get away. He doesn’t want the cage or the worry or the hovering or the loneliness when he isolates himself from all that.

Face buried in his hands, Steve almost misses it when someone comes to sit beside him. The thick smell of leather and cigarettes tells him who it is without looking up.

Eddie doesn’t speak for a while, just sits with him as Steve calms down.

And then, after a while, he lights a cigarette and asks, “You get seizures, Harrington?”

Steve nods. “Sometimes.”

Eddie hums. “That sucks.”

He nods again, and then that’s that. But even though it was a rhetorical question and Eddie didn’t even need an answer, it feels pathetically good to be asked about something. About himself. It only makes the pit inside his chest deeper, cutting into his soul with a sharp edge, this tiny little moment of normalcy. He wants to cling to it. He wants to talk to Eddie. God, he hasn’t really talked to anyone in so long.

“Before Starcourt — remember, the mall? The fire? Yeah that was, uhm. More monster shit. And Russians who thought I was a spy and then… yeah. Anyway. Uh. We used to be friends, I think. The kids and I. They used to care — or I like to think that they did. And then I got one too many head injuries, and the seizures started, and then they… It became too much. For them, for me. And the caring stopped. And, like, it’s fine or whatever, but I still care, and I can’t let them do all that alone. I know that all I was good for was taking them somewhere with my car, but I can’t drive anymore, so now I’m just… I’m just Steve. No titles attached, no use or function or point.”

Eddie just stares at him, puzzled and intrigued and even a little sad, and Steve wants to laugh it off when the silence stretches.

“Sorry, that’s kind of a sob story, you—“

“Wait here,” Eddie says, stubbing out his cigarette before disappearing back into the trailer. Steve watches him with a confused frown but stays put. A minute later, the door flies open and a scandalised looking Max appears, followed by the rest of the crew.

“You what?!”

“Uh,” Steve blinks. “I what?”

“Eddie told us you think you’re useless and that we don’t like you and that all you were ever good for is driving us from A to B with, like, no personal value whatsoever,” Dustin fills in, sounding no less bewildered. “Is that true, Steve?”

And God, the kid is so good at making all his questions sound like dares that Steve instinctively wants to swallow and negate it, tell them that Eddie misheard, that he’s fine, that everything fine.

But then Robin’s whispered little, “Steve” stops him from doing that. In fact, the sadness and confusion on their faces makes the dams break once more, confronted with months of spiralling and no one to drag him out, no one to listen.

Tears spring to his eyes and he gets up from the stairs to properly face them. He shrugs. It’s as much of a confirmation as anything.

And then Dustin sprints forward and tackle-hugs him, burying his face in Steve’s chest with no intention to let go anytime soon.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles into Steve’s shirt and Steve runs a hand through his hair immediately.

“It’s okay, Dustin.”

“No! It’s fucking not okay, Steve, stop saying that. You’re my big brother, you’re my best friend, you’re my hero! You’re the coolest guy I know and nothing’s gonna change that, okay?”

“Then why’d you leave?” His voice is so small, but Dustin only hugs him tighter.

“Because you were hurting and I was… I feel like all of that is my fault.”

“Why would it be your fault, Dustin?”

He shrugs, and it breaks Steve’s heart. Dustin thinks everything is his fault just like Steve thinks it’s his.

“It’s me who got you into the thing with the Russians. I insisted. And you were tortured for it, Steve! You… You told us to go, and we did, and then we came back and you were— you-“

“Hey,” Steve whispers, curling himself around and over Dustin. “Hey, no, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. None of that.”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry I pulled away, Steve,” Dustin sniffles and looks up at him. “I swear it’s not because I think you’re useless. It’s just… I’m so scared.”

And it makes sense, somehow. The anger leaves Steve when he whispers, “Me too. And I don’t like it when you’re all scared and worried. I hate it.”

“I know. Sorry.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Shut up.”

And then they’re both laughing with tears in their eyes. Lucas and Max join them with their own promises that Steve isn’t worthless to them.

“Did you read my letter? You know, the one if…”

“No,” Steve says. “You told me not to.”

“Right. Anyway, read it. Whatever happens, I want you to read it. Because you’re my brother and you mean too much for me to, like, never let you know. But, uh. Billy died. And I hated him, but it fucked me up. And then you almost died, and then you almost died again; and then you just… collapsed. And I thought, I cant do this again, not with someone I actually like. Not with you. And I didn’t wanna watch. I watched Billy. I… I can’t watch you die, Steve.”

She’s crying by the end of it, and Steve pulls her against his chest. Shit, he hadn’t meant to make anyone cry like that.

“It’s okay, Max, I get it.”

“Not okay,” she shakes her head again. “I know it’s not. But—“

“I know.” He’s stroking through her hair. “I know.”

“Uh, guys? I hate to break up the heartfelt confession time,” Eddie chimes in. “But I think our window is closing.”

Right. The end of the world.

With one last squeeze to Max’s shoulders, he lets her go and they gather their things. Discussions about Steve’s joining their mission have been put on hold while their window is still open. They can continue this later.

Nancy drives while Max holds Steve’s hand in the back. They don’t talk and she has her headphones on, letting Kate Bush work her magic, but it’s fine. It feels a bit like healing.

He catches Eddie’s eyes on the other side and holds them for a while. Eddie smiles before looking away, and Steve does the same.

---

In the end, Steve doesn't climb the rope with them. He stays behind in Eddie's trailer even though every fibre of his being screams at him to join. But Nancy has a point when she explains to him that she and Robin got this. It's the first time he stays behind, and he hopes it will be the last.

They hug him before leaving, all of them. Promises are made to talk about this later, after, and he nods.

"Go save the world for me," he tells Robin, holding her tight, unwilling to let go.

"Only for you," she promises, and kisses his cheek before pulling away. "You better be right here when we come back."

He shrugs and gives her an encouraging smile. "I've got nowhere else to be, Buckley. Now go." The last words are whispered and it feels like goodbye. Steve should join them, he should be there! But his head is pulsing and he knows that one wrong move could leave him half blind with a migraine, and they don't need one more handicap.

The one thing he can do, though, is helping them climb the rope, and it makes him feel ridiculously proud, seeing them land safely on the other side, smiling up (or down?) at him. Robin and Nancy wave one last time before heading off.

That leaves him alone with Eddie and Dustin. The latter is already climbing the rope, itching to finally do something, preparing the trailer for their plan.

Only Eddie is left, and Steve looks over at him.

"Will you be okay, Steve?"

"Sure."

Eddie sighs and looks up at the gate, disbelief and resignation and even a hint of fascination in his eyes.

"It should be you," he says, and Steve frowns, confused. "You're the hero here."

"No," Steve huffs, smiling at the metalhead. "No, I'm no hero. The real heroes are already up there, and in California. The real hero died after Starcourt. I'm just the driver who lost his license, the boy with the bat. The protector who needs to be protected."

Eddie looks at him again, that kind of intense stare, the one that shows Steve that Eddie sees something in him. He wonders what it is, but isn't sure he wants to know.

"I think you're wrong, Steve." He says it with such gentle conviction that it takes Steve's breath away for a second, and something passes between them as they hold each other's eyes.

Eddie opens his mouth to say something, but then–

"Eddie!" Dustin is calling for him from the other side, and the boys snap out of their daze.

Steve steps into Eddie's personal space and pulls him to his chest. "Make him pay," he says. "But stay safe. Come back, okay? First sign of danger, you abort mission. Come back, Eddie. I'll be right here."

"Yeah," Eddie rasps, and he squeezes Steve once more. "Catch me when I fall through that gate in two hours?"

Steve laughs, a sad little thing, and he pushes Eddie away from him, hands steady on his shoulders. "Sure, big boy."

"Hey, that's my part."

"Say it when you come back, then."

This thing passes between them again, and then Eddie goes to climb the rope. Steve's hands find their way to his hips, steadying him, but Eddie is strong enough to pull himself up without problem. Huh.

"In the meantime, wrap your head around the fact that you're the one I'm coming back for, pretty boy."

And then Eddie is gone. Steve watches as he falls through the gate, landing on the mattress with more elegance this time, and then he, too, grins down (or up?) at Steve.

He gives a little wave, and then he is alone.

Plenty of room to think when your friends have gone on a suicide mission and you're the one who has to stay behind. The one who will have to do the explaining when things go south. The one who will have to watch and listen, helpless.

It makes him regret the past few months, the self isolation, all the times he pulled back, all the times he didn't push for an explanation or a conversation, all the times he hadn't asked the kids if they're alright because he was too caught up in all the ways that he wasn't.

God, he wants them to be okay. He wants to talk about this, wants them to tell him he's more than the driver without a license, more than the protector who needs protecting. He wants Eddie to come back and explain what he meant, say what he wanted to say. He wants...

He wants his old life back. But more than that, he wants them in his new life just as much. He wants to be brave enough for this new life and find a new purpose. Create one if he can't find it.

But he can't do it alone. He refuses to do it alone even one day more.

"Come back to me," he whispers, looking up at the gate from where he's sitting on the floor, back against the wall. "Come on guys, you've got this. Please work. Please, make the plan work."

And then, miraculously, it does. Eddie falls into his arms with an undignified squeal and the rest of the Party soon follow. They're unscathed, miraculously, and Steve cries as he holds them, all of them, in a group hug that makes the trailer smell like relief and grief and a new life ahead of them. Slowly, with an unnatural sound, the gate above them closes, and then silence reigns.

They cling to him now. Refuse to let go. Good thing he has nowhere to go as Lucas gasps and sobs into his chest, explaining what happened, that Jason almost destroyed the walkman, that Max could have died. And Steve runs shaky hands through his hair, pulling in Max, too, so the three of them can just hold each other for a second.

Dustin and Eddie are hugging beside them, and Nancy and Robin hold hands, a different kind of horror in their eyes, but they smile wetly at Steve as their eyes meet.

It's over. It's done.

They did it. They really did it.

Steve closes his eyes and holds Lucas and Max tighter. They don't complain.

---

Three days later, Steve's house is brimming with life again like it hasn't in months. Turns out, Hopper survived, and he hugged Steve for a whole five minutes, telling him he did good, he did great, he's a hero. Again with that shit that Steve doesn't believe, but he doesn't have the heart to tell Hop, so he just buries deeper into their embrace.

"It's good you're alive," he tells him, and the Chief sobs out a laugh.

"You too, kid. This town would be lost without you."

"Yeah, right," Steve laughs back, and then that is that.

Except, it isn't, because when he returns to the living room with Hop, Joyce and El in tow, everyone's standing, looking at him with timid expressions. Robin and Eddie are holding hands this time, and so are all the kids. They all look like they have something to say, and the only thing missing is a large banner that says INTERVENTION.

"Uh, what's going on?"

Dustin is the first to clear his throat, but only after Erica kicks him. "We wanted to apologise. For leaving you when you needed us the most."

Oh. Steve's shaking his head, placating words already on the tip of his tongue, ready to explain to them how that's not their fault, how that was all him, he could have said something, he could have asked, he could have–

"Steve," Nancy says, effectively cutting off any protest he could have voiced. "Just listen, okay? Don't say anything."

He looks at Joyce, who nods, and Hopper who looks about as lost as he feels.

Dustin continues then. "You deserved better, Steve, you really, really did. We all did, I think, but you... You put yourself in harm's way from the get-go."

"Yeah, you came to protect me when you didn't even like me." Jonathan this time. "No thoughts, just protection. I owe my life to you. Every single one in this room does, y'know."

"And what you got for it is severe head trauma and... us abandoning you." Nancy.

"You're not just the driver, Steve. You never were just a driver to us." Hell, even Mike is in on this? "You're annoying, you suck, and you don't even try not to act like you're everyone's big brother."

"You're family, Steve." Oh, baby Byers. That's what gets his eyes stinging and his lip trembling, so he bites down on it so they won't have to see. It's futile with the way they're smiling.

"Yeah. You're so much more than our babysitter," Lucas explains. "You're the best basketball coach."

"You actually listen to my music and read comics with me," Max continues with a smile. "You suck just a little less than everyone else in this town."

"Hey!"

"No, she has a point."

Steve's not keeping up with the who's who anymore, he's trying too hard to keep it together.

"You teach me new words," El says, smiling. "You give me your clothes, you take me shopping, you teach me how to deal with meanies."

And the list goes on. Everyone has something to say to him, something beyond the ways he can be useful. Something that he is to them, something meaningful, something that sounds a lot like purpose and family.

"And we were so scared, because you were hurt. Because of us. You were protecting us, and look where it got you. You're a hero, Steve. As real as they get, you are one."

"More than Wonder Woman," Max agrees. "More than Superman. You're Steve! And that's... He’s our hero."

"He’s our brother," Dustin says.

"He’s my son," Joyce adds, taking his hand.

"He’s our friend," Erica, Mike and El say in unison.

“He’s the one we stay for.” Robin’s eyes shine as she smiles.

“And the one we come back for.” Eddie’s smile is gentle, confident, and captivating. Steve can’t look away, even through his own tears.

---

In the following months, Robin gets her license and Eddie develops a sixth sense for whenever Steve needs to just sit in a car and ride around town, watching the street lamps pass and letting them lull him to sleep. There’s an upside to being a passenger, he finds, because he falls asleep like this a few times, always waking when Eddie kills the engine. He drives for hours sometimes, admitting with a blush high on his cheeks that he didn’t want to wake Steve.

Somewhere on the highway to Indianapolis, between three and four in the morning, Steve looks at Eddie in the soft glow of the night, and finds that he’s fallen in love.

And in the weeks and months and years that follow, he realises that that’s something new he’s good at.

#stranger things #steve & the party #steddie #steddie fic #but also not really. steddie is just something that happens along the way #this was meant to be short but uh. uh. whoops?#hi anna i am sorry feel free to ignore this i could have made this easier in everyone but they’re teenagers with trauma dammit #dio words #actually i just wanted an excuse to make steve sad. if you know me you know

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