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#but this day actually doesn't sucks
rozzwil · 12 days ago
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A whole lot of thoughts and sketches on Isha’s T1D supplies and how he manages his diabetes day to day 💉🩸
#dragon age#lavellan#dai#disability in thedas#ishavun lavellan#felt very big brained coming up with some of this with diirthare-ma#now i just feel like theres still so much info missing!#really wishing we had a more comprehensive idea of the mechanics of magical healing in thedas#but i did my best to come up with something that i think looks ok and is appropriate for isha as a dalish elf#just uuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh pretend like healing magic keeps the catheter sterile and that mages can extract insulin from halla without....#grinding up their pancreases#only naturally deceased halla organs were used here guys#i think theres historical precedent to justify the use of animal organs for other purposes so#this is much less ghoulish in universe than it looks i promise#im going to eventually post a big write up on my thoughts about diabetes in thedas but thats going to come later#im actually not an expert in medieval history/ medical history/ diabetes as whole so it takes a lot of reading academic papers#to come up with something im completely happy with#doesn't matter for now though#all you need to know is isha squeezes the pump and it sucks up in the insulin...the end#and for the normies out there as much as i tried to do this idea justice please know most of this is so nonsensical#theres no glucose testing powder back in the day we didnt have phones and 1touches we pissed on the ground#and watched to see if ants gathered like god intended#also this is obvious but this basically has no relation to real world modern insulin pumps#that being said pump users DONT come for me if i did something incredibly dumb here#my insurance threatens to beat me to death whenever i even ask my endo about getting one#i did tons of reading about them just to not incorporate any of that info because how tf does that translate to pseudo middle ages#i might end up changing a lot of this because it turns out im a dumb person#and did a lot of things like initially giving isha liquid t then realizing its injected intramuscularly#THEN finding out it can be injected subcutaneously but my doc has just never informed me of that#but i'd already drawn his chia seed testosterone cream and really like it :')
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the-queen-of-the-light · 9 months ago
Lena’s been known to be a little stubborn sometimes—a lot stubborn, really—especially when sick. It’s a remnant of a Luthor upbringing, of course. She’s willing to admit that to herself now. Never slip up. Never lose decorum. Never show weakness.
‘Perfection, even in the face of a pitiful case of the sniffles, Lena. We’re Luthors. It’s what we do.’
Lena still remembers those words from Lillian. They always float up from the depths of her memory whenever the first signs of a cold start to linger about her. A constant reminder to just suck it up, which Lena does with almost dangerous efficiency. She rarely ever misses work. After all, if she can get back to work immediately after being kidnapped and shot at by her brother’s henchmen, why should she miss work for a simple, little cold? She’s fine.
Of course, her wife would argue that she shouldn’t be working in either situation. Which is probably why a sick, sniffly, and feverish Lena has found herself carried out of her office by Kara on more than one occasion for some superhero-enforced bed rest.
(Lena is pretty sure that Jess has Kara on speed dial for just such occasions, and if Lena weren’t so comfy—and maybe a little loopy—in Kara’s arms, she might actually find it in herself to be annoyed about it. … the narc)
#HC Advent Adventure#Day 15#supergirl#supercorp#jess the assistant#if she weren't so competent and also literally the only reason lena survives the work day#she might actually contemplate firing her for being such a narc#instead she just gives her raise lol#for real tho lena has Been Through It#this poor kid#like in my mind the first time Lillian says that to her she's still just a baby#we're talking she's been with the luthor's maybe a couple weeks and she starts getting a cold#and i imagine this little tiny bean all sniffly and coughing and looking up at this tall austere woman#bravely reaching out to tug at her skirt and whisper up at her that she doesn't feel very good#and lillian just gets this disgusted scowl and brushes her hand away#and essentially turning away any affection or aid with the proper elitist equivalent of 'suck it up buttercup'#she just sends her off to the house staff to tend to#she had her appendix out when she was nine#the thing completely ruptured and she had to be hospitalized because lena was too afraid to say anything#and when she did lillian just told her dramatics were unbecoming of a luthor#so lena continued to go about her day until she collapsed in the middle of the hallway at her private school in metropolis#so she is still very much in that 'put on a smile and continue with the show' mentality#even when she feels so ill she might collapse#but Kara (and the rest of the gang really) are having none of that#Jess's speed dial goes 1) Kara 2) Alex 3) Kelly and they're all lined up to take a stubborn and grumpy luthor home for some gd rest#let the baby take a nap and feel better pls#kara would be such a loving wife when lena is sick and make he soup and prep her a bath#and just let her sleep on her chest while she hummed quietly and stroked her hair#and really that's all lena needs to heal up nice and quick#also for the record my first mental image of kara carrying Lena out was with her slung fireman style over her shoulder while Lena grumped t
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icebizzle · 15 days ago
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i like how i have my tablet literally right next to me, but i’ll sit here and spend maybe two hours touching up/editing gar’s colors, and sloppily adding new ones on her.
also was fiddling on the merman/horn guy chat ...last night? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
i’m not sure what color exactly i want for gardesha’s outfit. since icy’s got grey and ardis has orange, i’m trying green for her. but it might change in the future. the outfit’s pattern isn’t finalized at all, i just needed an alternate ‘color’ on there.
her markings aren’t as complex as her siblings’, but she’s got gem rainbows, so she’s fine. (icy’s markings are going to get a rework once i figure out what i want to do. i like stripes too much, and they seep into everything)
#stupid doodle bus#slams fist on table. i can't make psychonauts fanart because i suck ass at making fanart. so i'm drawing other shit APPARENTLY#i need you guys to understand. 99.9% of my brain is psychonauts-only right now. it is all i care about.#i'm trying to channel my restlessness and excitement into doodling some#back on topic: INSERT ROCK PUNS. give gardesh an electric guitar and say she's a rock god#even before she got her appearance rework i was ready for that pun and headcanoned that she was into rock and punk#she still is. she's semi-social but is definitely a little stuck up. she's actually the most antagonistic towards icy. AND babs.#you'd think it was ardis. ardis actually likes his brother. but he's a little rough about it sometimes and there's definitely rivalry there#but ardis adores babs. he thinks he's funny and a good little friend.#ardis and vitar like mortals the most. so therefore they also like babs#jixev likes mortals but likes to mess with them. he messes with babs SLIGHTLY less. and is friendly at the end of the day#lyzua likes babs but doesn't really care too much about most mortals. depends on how they are#lyzua's also hard to read and so it's easy to assume he's not happy. but he's just kind of quiet.#babs is more on edge around lyzua than most of the deities (save for icy. obviously)#but he's on edge around all of them and would rather honestly be left alone. he gets very stressed out#ALSO this is probably the last doodle of smoking horn guy. his head gives me a headache to think about#but i might draw more smoking characters. idk. i don't like. support smoking or anything#just in a headspace where i want to draw monster guys smoking rainbows. i guess.
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sanshine · 4 months ago
i swear i have never been this upset by tumblr in my entire life
#i dont wanna sound dramatic but man it is getting too much#of having to constantly see the same thing on my dash and of having to be constantly upset about it#and of having to see that my fear of meaning nothing to you might be not so irrational after all#I know this is my fault for becoming so attached so quickly but it still sucks#and I know I'm probably just overreacting because talking to other people doesn't mean I mean nothing to you#but I constantly see what you're having with others is so much more special#this might be me overthinking again and being ungrateful for what we had too but#I care way too much to not be hurt by any of this#i have been abandoned and replaced way too many times i dont wanna experience the same with you again#i know other people might be more fun to talk to but do they all care about you the way i do#yeah i might not be showing it as well as i should be i guess#but man you have no idea how much i want to give you all of the happiness and goodness in the world#every day im hoping something made you smile today and that you enjoyed your time#... and i'm having doubts if you'd even miss me if i left#best thing is that i genuinely cannot tell if it's the anxiety twisting my view of things or if this is actually whats going on#the urge to isolate myself rn in order to not get even more hurt#i hate this so much i hate being so affected by the smallest things why cant i just appreciate what i have#guess im just jealous of other people being close with you in a way i never managed to be despite my best efforts#i know i have issues and im trying to work on them but i really cant blame people for not wanting to deal with me thats okay i understand#im sorry if you read all this im just on the verge of tears rn and really need to let this out somewhere#please dont try to find any meaning in this it'll be better that way#biba rants
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colour-film-queer · 11 days ago
yeah don't read this one
#prsnl#bad night#i hope that isn't like an actual tag lol. sorry if you stumble on my public breakdown/trauma posting#i just don't care anymore#i mean i care a lot about a lot of things but also. i just feel burnt out. shut down. fucking dead.#the thing is i could try to explain or excuse a lot of things but at the end of the day. i just feel upset all the time#i feel like it doesn't matter what i do i carry this tension around my ribs and i just. can't catch my breath#i just want someone to understand#i can feel it right now. it's a bunch of things. a pit in my stomach. pressure in my eyes. restless feet. taught spine.#it's worse when im not high. im so tired of the nausea. at this point i don't know what it's tied to#covid? trauma? sickness? disease? allergies? substance abuse? disordered eating? anxiety?#where do i fucking start?? lol#sorry! it's just sometimes i forget how badly i've been gaslit that i don't know when things are real problems#i'm an attention seeking hypochondriac that was both raised that way and abused for it so yknow#also being literally surrounded by triggers probably isn't good#i just don't know what to do with myself lol.#i want to get away but i can't so everyday is just like guess ill die but i can't do that either so im just stuck and it fucking. sucks.#also im an alcoholic drug addict so i may have just melted a hole in my gut. At Least combined with the stress lol#i'm an unfortunate amalgamation of poor decisions tonight but you know what i haven't actually hurt myself yet so i consider it a win#sorry if that got real. ironically i still never said what i wanted to. i don't know why#im losing myself. lol.#was never anything except something to be torn apart and passed out and held to the tongues of the formerly holy#i wonder what he would say if i asked him if he believes in god#i know i'm falling too fast but i don't care falling is better than standing fucking still anything is better than that#also i'm fucking lonely. shockingly. not to mention again attention seeking and desperate to please.#anyway. i don't feel better. actually i think i feel worse. but i'm too tired to keep going lol.#if anyone read this; i respect your penchant for rule breaking also i'm sorry please go treat yourself to ice cream or something#despite all the dark things i'm safe i'm okay and#you deserve ice cream#okay. i feel a little better. thank you?
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thinking about how everyone always lovingly makes fun of my nana for asking what people want for lunch during breakfast still but really... she's right. she's the one who has to plan and organise the cooking. everyone else might be thinking, oh it's only breakfast time, it's hours until lunch, why think about it now? but they don't consider that, yes, for them it might be hours until the food magically appears on the table, but for my nan it depends on what she's cooking that she may have to start earlier to actually make that food
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casifersbody · a month ago
#my neurosurgeon's office called and canceled my appointment because he's now in surgery that day lol#and I'm not mad or anything because I know it's absolutely necessary#like I get it I certainly wouldn't want to be needing emergency neurosurgery and have the doctor not take me because he had appointments#but everything's fucked up now#they're offering me august 18th which is more than a week earlier than my original appointment#but my MRIs and CT scan haven't been approved by insurance yet#because the MRI place has been calling the wrong doctor for information lol#& I need to do the MRIs the day before the appointment bc I'm traveling 8+ hours to see him & I don't want to have to make the trip twice#he's like the specialist of specialists which is why I'm traveling that far#I know a lot of his patients come from a distance - the receptionist said I'm actually one of the closer ones#but anyway to do that means that all three tests need to be scheduled for the 17th#and this monday is the 16th#so now I need to see if the imaging centers have any openings for the 17th#and then if they do I need to see if the imaging centers can request for the MRIs to be rush approved#& if it somehow gets approved before the end of the work day on monday then my parents and I need to leave right then & drive to maryland#the reality is that I probably won't be able to see him the 18th because the MRIs really need to be done first#which really sucks because he doesn't have any openings for the following week & then the week after that my college starts back up#and between my schedule and the dr's schedule that means i'll have to miss one of my senior seminar classes which will mean that I'm already#off to a bad start#nevermind that my spine is killing me and the dr won't sign off on my physical therapy script until I have this appointment#it just sucks so bad#sorry ignore me this is long af I'm just upset#ari.txt
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ingredientsstardust · a month ago
#so like I've been a little lonely lately#which like sucks but it is what it is#but I happened to fall down the rabbit hole a little into an old special interest and like I started kind of doing some Sherlock rps#for those who don't know this used to be a superwholock blog deal with it#anyways it's just a lot harder to find people to do it with and the forums I used to use are dead and it's just kind of making me lonelier#because like the first night I did it I got really lucky and found someone and we actually kept the rp going over email for a few days but#they haven't responded in a few days and I'm nervous they won't want to continue#anyways I know this is dumb I just needed to talk about it somewhere#I think what's hitting me most is how much I relied on a community that doesn't exist anymore#and also like how much trauma I delt with theough that format and those characters and I want to be able to have#that back and forth through a character I'm playing#idk I miss rping and I want that back#but like Sherlock was the main special interest I did that with and like that community isn't where I left it and that's hard#and like it sucks because the show sucked but like I still look back and remember the good old days fondly when there was still hope#and just because it all went to shit doesn't mean I don't still have strong memories around the community#anyways thanks for making it this far if you did#I'm working night shift and nights I have off have been rough lately because of feeling alone#I'm okay though. i'm sure I'll get used to it soon
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guidingsbolt · a month ago
motw my BELOVED :D
#got to do NAME BULLSHIT today :D#i did NOT think the werewolves would show up this soon but EPIC win for problems for will#SIGH carrie just showing up the farmer's market and asking YAZ about will instead of like. talking to will what do they WANT#and the thing is. we absolutely cannot just like go up against them there are so many! and four of us!#will is absolutely 100% convinced they're in town to kill her even if they have other stuff going on#but I'M not so sure about that actually#parch or maybe it was cedar MIGHT be right they could want something from her#but will made peace with knowing that leaving could get her killed but she's still scared#and parch and cedar are SO unhappy about the werewolves being out there but yaz and will really couldn't do anything themselves#will doesn't like it either!!!! but she's got other stuff to focus on!!!#i think in the back of her head she had an idea that she and yaz would kill beowulf one day but she Knows she isn't ready for that yet#parch is going to be upset about killing werewolves too but and like. if werewolves are trying to kill her she'll kill them#she WANTS to stay alive#hhhhhh the full moon is SO soon wuh oh!!#it was fun telling everyone that yaz chains her up in the basement though#next session is going to have SO many problems i can FEEL it#i gotta PREPARE#gonna talk to carrie probably :D who i cared about WAY more the second hannah played her carrie Sucks :D#there wasn't any gay intentions when i was writing carrie but after liam said gay? i was like. what if!#though i think she's going to try to kill me <3#but maybe not!#okay this post has reached full circle thank u for reading mwah#g: motw
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summerlandl · 2 days ago
i think it's so funny how i am always talking to myself and creating dialogues and scenarios but irl i can barely speak i never talk about myself never tell anything to anyone how i'm feeling etc
#for example there's this someone we used to be friends (best friends for like yearssss but anyways)#and he did something bad to me#not something bad but he did something that i felt bad after#actually it was something WE did anyways this doesn't matter#but because of that shit i just stopped talking to him or to anyone in our friend group#which sucks cause now i have a total of zero friends#but anyways the point is i kinda want to tell him how i feel#i've been wanting this for a while but i never actually talked to him because it would be weird asf#but we lived so many moments together i was in important moments in his life#he was in important moments in my life etc#and i mean i just miss him what can i do???#and like 3 days ago he grandmother died and i kinda wanted to send him a message and talk to him you know#but i didn't and i think i never will ever again#that's it this circle of our life is ended and there's nothing i can do about it#i also should just stop think about this#i think about it every f day not only about him but my whole old friend group#and yeah i miss them a LOT they were my everything#but that's it we ... i went to a different direction from the rest of them#and that's okay i just really miss having someone to talk to#even if i almost never really talked about me etc i miss having random conversations w them#and just hangings out cause we were seeing each other almost every week#i still am in the group chat but i feel that they have another#cause they are always seeing each other and they don't talk about it in the chat i am#i mean they would have to talk in the group about the place etc but they never do#i only see the ig pics#i'll probably leave this chat someday i'm just a stranger there#anyways that was it#byee
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cataclysmicglitter · 2 months ago
Just a few points on western party culture and my bog-awful neighbors.
So is it too early to call out that idealized, western “alcohol/party culture” is just a complex form of self-harm and a public pacification tool, designed to appeal to corporate interests, undermine community-building efforts, long-term relationships, and halt personal growth via addiction, peer pressure, and anti-social behavior rebranded as “a good time”?  
No? ‘How dare I take away your only coping mechanism while proposing social growth that’ll no longer require “coping mechanisms”?’ Okay. 
(But seriously, people really need to look up the history of alcohol in other countries like Russia, and how they used people’s addiction/dependency/newfound anti-social lifestyles to keep them in an oppressive labor cycle, unable to really organize against actual oppressive systems/people). 
I’m not against “people having fun” (as so many reflexively recoil when I tell them how being kept up late at night by drunken screaming and pounding music royally fucks up my health for the rest of the week). But I think as a culture, we do have to start more critically examining how our current pastimes to “blow off steam” might just be unloading that problem off onto someone else if we’re not considerate or self-reflective. And that if we want to function as a non-shackled society, a few people’s constant desire to “have fun” can’t come before everyone else’s ability to function at a baseline level. 
If myself and the rest of the neighborhood being able to get a good’s night’s rest is rare, and I feel like I’m never able to relax or put my guard down during the day within my own home, because someone else prioritizes throwing kegger parties all the time, the fact of the matter is, I’m not going to be a very good ally towards anything (and neither are they). I’ll be too tired to be helpful about anything, I’ll slowly get worse at my job or other tasks/hobbies, and quite frankly, I’m probably going to become a royal bitch who can’t keep a civil conversation when I finally have to confront you about it. 
Have your “fun”, but don’t have it at the expense of others. Go to spaces where you won’t disturb people trying to rest/relax/work. Recontextualize what “fun” is, and examine why it always involves you being loud, destructive, and usually intoxicated. Is this expanding your horizons? Is this helping you meet genuinely helpful/good people? Do you actually grow and learn anything new or useful? Do you feel genuinely fulfilled the next morning, or hollow and uncomfortable with yourself? Does your pastime create and leave the world a better place, or does it leave a mess that someone else usually has to clean up? How are you affecting the people and environment around you? Are you building the people and society around you up, or causing disturbance and destruction for a momentary high?
Also worth noting that excitement in and of itself is a “high”. If you chase it too hard, it’s going to become more difficult to find, and you’ll start seeking out more frequent, dangerous, destructive measures of obtaining it. Human beings need down time. It’s actually good to be bored once in a while. It helps reset and re-focus your brain. Life doesn’t have to be an endless party. We’re not wired for it, and numerous studies have been done on the importance of just chilling the fuck out for a majority of the time. No loud music. No abundance of people. No substances. Just...fucking relax. For like a day. Do something quiet. For my mental health and yours. And it’ll actually make the times you do something exciting like party (in a space meant for doing so) memorable and more fulfilling. 
Western cultures especially really need to practice more mindfulness, is I guess what I’m getting at. It’s really been absent these past few years, regardless of age, gender, or political affiliation. And it has been making my general day to day affairs so difficult anymore, I’ve genuinely considered leaving the country. Not that I can currently afford to, but the fact of the matter is I can’t stand it here anymore. I hate the increasingly unhealthy culture around me and need to feel like a minimally functional human again. 
#mental health#I'm not calling out people who have like a beer after work or something.#but people who host frat-style parties in residential areas for example actually worsen their whole community in a lot of different ways.#especially for people who never asked for sleep deprivation and high volumes of stress.#and once the people around you hate you via you annoying the crap out of them all day they'll never want to get to know you or work with you#which in turn keeps communities divided.#not like attempting to set that aside would make a difference because people like this tend to be terrible workers /general comrades.#and don't even get me started on the long-term affects and reach of alcoholism#tl;dr i've had The Worst neighbors over quarantine and they're Getting To Me something fierce.#they blast loud music all day - host frat parties until 4am- don't have jobs 'cuz their parents foot all the bills including fines -#and they've also been damaging our space too by stealing stuff - littering - inviting people over who try and break in - the list goes on.#my town doesn't even have a college so like i don't understand what the draw is here.#i live in a strict hoa neighborhood and pay more than i should for quiet only to get stuck next to people as bad as when i went to school.#college towns exist for a reason and they're cheap. go get it out of your system Over There.#the older i get the more i think there needs to be 30+y/o exclusive housing. because living next to people under 25 is Torture.#they need a spot to grow too but it can't be next to the career people and parents who need to sleep. organization is key.#i can't even hate on hoa's like i used to. if there's a weirdly oppressively rule i now know where it comes from. putting up with this.#when you try to be polite but one household makes your life unlivable - that's how hoa's are born. i realize that now.#i've been shown the light.#(obviously some still suck but unless i live in the boonies with nobody around i'll never live without one again because sweet jesus).#and of course there's a much wider discussion about how often white wealthy people do this to majority poor and poc communities#because they feel they're able to more effectively mask their behavior and have nobody capable of having law enforcement stand up to them#but that's a much bigger topic for another day.
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