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lovebeinaprincessworld · 10 months

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Hopeful Love (Cato Hadley x reader)

Description: The arena was horrifying, but with Cato by your side - maybe you could make it through everything?

Part 1

Masterlist

A/N: you can read this even if I might write another part, as always all my writings do have a conclusive ending, no matter which part!

Warnings: death, blood, wounds, the typical hunger games stuff

7515 words

It felt like a fever dream - like it wasn’t really happening. The moment Aspasia had hugged you and the platform started moving, your heart was beating out of your chest, and not in a good way. The light was blinding for a moment and then you took in the arena. The biggest part of it was a forest and there was also a big grass portion where the cornucopia was located.

Your attention snapped back to the other tributes, some looked more than ready to finally kill and some looked like they wanted to kill themselves. The cornucopia was filled with things, less and less of them strewn around the farther they laid from it. They also seemed to be less useful the further one went from it.

And finally your brain kicked in a little, your eyes moving over the other tributes searching for Cato. He was exactly opposite to you, and his eyes were already locked onto you in determination. This was probably the worst possible distance for his plan (the one of you running towards him) and you were sure your chances of making it at the moment were like 30 percent or less. If you died hopefully it would be quick, but you would try to make it - for him.

You could see the countdown was already at 16 and you took a deep breath to ready yourself for the sprint, listening to the steady rhythm of the numbers going down. You were honestly curious how the people watching would take Cato trying to protect you - nobody knew anything about you two yet, how could they?

The countdown was getting lower and lower and you felt like you were about to throw up when it reached 3. You braced yourself to jump down from the platform. 2. You took a deep breath. 1. You really hoped you wouldn’t catch a knife to the back - and then you were running. It was like you were on autopilot, putting one foot in front of the other and towards Cato who was running even faster - considering he was way taller that made sense.

You were almost there, and you really thought you would make it - when suddenly someone tackled you from the right. In retrospect you should’ve been more aware of your surroundings, but what shocked you the most that on top of you and trying to grab you neck was Taron, your own district partner. You had no idea he hated you so much he made it his mission to kill you first. You tried to keep his hands off your throat, but when he finally got a good grip he was ripped off of you.

Cato was determined to keep you alive. Fuck, he had never run this fast in his life and when he almost reached you that son of a bitch from your district seriously tried to take you from him. Foolish. He ripped him off with ease, taking his head between his big hands and breaking his neck with a controlled snap of his hands. One person less.

He pulled you up immediately, taking your hand in his firmly and making his way towards the cornucopia. He picked up a long knife and a small one on the way, giving you the small one and ending every tribute that came near you two with the other. You knew his weapon of choice was a sword but you hadn’t been close enough to the cornucopia yet.

The other careers had already brought the cornucopia under their control, so once you arrived there, the other tributes were either dead or they already ran away. You were shocked that you had honestly made it, still kind of on edge by the way Clove, Marvel and Glimmer were eyeing you, but you knew as long as Cato stuck to your side you were relatively safe - as safe as one can be in the arena.

Cato pulled you into the cornucopia - the other three rummaging through the things in the entrance - and when you were at least a little shielded he pulled you into a bonecrushing hug. You could almost hear Caeser Flickerman commenting in your ear. „Cato“, you whispered, you were surprised he was willing to show this much emotion in front of the camera.

The tall career was honestly a little worried that his feelings for you would damage his hardened career image and offend the sponsors - but on the other hand he was in an arena fighting with others until death. So he didn’t really give a shit, he was just so incredibly happy that you were safe for now and he couldn’t control himself, he had to hold you close, even just for a moment.

When you mumbled his name, pressed against his chest, he gently kissed your forehead before hesitantly letting you go. Eventhough the bloodbath was over for now, you were still relatively out in the open right now and he needed to sort out the supplies and plan with the others. He drank in your pretty face for another moment and without words (he was never the biggest talker and especially not in a situation like that) he pulled you along to sort through the equipment.

—————————

You were quiet, now that the adrenaline was gone and all the death and killing that happened was sinking into your brain you had to concentrate on your breathing to not freak out. You knew Cato wasn’t affected by this nearly as much as you - he was trained for this after all. But the lifeless eyes of the other tributes, the ones that trained next to you for a week, haunted you. And when the canons went off after the bloodbath it felt final. You were really right in the middle of the hunger games.

The Careers were building a camp down by the river and the meadow and you were mindlessly carrying stuff from the cornucopia over there with Cato. The others were leaving you alone, but you knew that if it wasn’t for Cato you would be dead for sure. Two of the Careers - Glimmer and Marvel - were scouting the closest parts of the forest to find tributes who may have lingered around. You had one ally more, a boy who claimed he could dig up the mines from around the cornucopia and bury them around your food stash so it would be safe.

Once the others seemed satisfied with everything you sat down around the camp, Clove in one corner playing with her knives and facing the forest and you and Cato in the shade in the back, while Noah (that was the other tributes name) was still moving the mines. „How are you feeling?“, Cato was talking as quiet as possible, but it probably still would be picked up by the cameras.

He had just put down the last bag and sat down next to you, his eyes scanning your form, his hand reaching for yours gently. Crazy to think how he easily murdered multiple people a few hours ago and now the same hands were so soft with you. „I’m okay, don’t worry“, you gave him your best attempt at a smile, but he looked only partly convinced. How could you truly be okay though? The carefree nights on the rooftop seemed so far away.

Cato wanted to say more, but he didn’t want your private conversation to be broadcasted for everyone to hear, so he just nodded and pulled you into his side with one arm. He kissed your temple carefully, trying to convey his thoughts like that - and simultaneously fighting the urge to kiss you for real. He decided he would postpone that to when it was dark, and their was at least a minimal amount of privacy.

Suddenly Glimmer and Marcel broke out of the treeline, and with them was another person - still alive that is. They came closer and when your recognized the other tribute you sat up straight in surprise. „Peeta?“, you mumbled to yourself and you could feel Catos arm around you thighten. „What’s he doing here?“, Cato barked when they were close enough, standing up and pulling his sword out.

„Calm down lover boy“, Marvel rolled his eyes and walked over to Clove. „He‘s our best shot at finding the chick from his District“, Glimmer explained, picking up and apple from the bag and eating it. „Watch it District 12, one wrong move and it’s over“, Cato warned Peeta with a rough voice and gave him a dark stare before sitting down next to you again, a protective hand on your thigh. Peeta just nodded and they started planning the hunt for Katniss.

————————

Tracking through the dark forest that night, you felt like throwing up. This was all so wrong, Katniss had helped you - considering the weird circumstances she was probably your only friend(ly contact) next to Cato and you were walking through the woods trying to find and kill her. Not that you would be the one to do it, but you were with them, weren’t you? Cato held your hand tightly as if afraid something might happen if he let go for only a second.

And maybe it might, because his hand was literally the only thing stopping you from full on panicking and running away. What was the future perspective here anyway? Only one would leave this arena alive. The other three (except Peeta, who seemed just as unsure as you and Cato who was looking all serious) were joking around and having fun and it only made the whole situation more bizarre.

Suddenly Glimmer squeaked excitedly and when you followed her gaze, you could see a fire in the distance. „The fuck, who would be so stupid“, Marvel was cackling and you took a deep breath when you walked towards the fire, knowing what was to follow. The girl didn’t realize the group was there until Marvel was standing directly behind her, and her face was that of pure horror. You looked away, but the bloodcurling scream would never leave your memory. If Cato didn’t fall for you, this could’ve been you.

The canon went off and you didn’t realize how tightly you were holding onto Catos arm until he pulled you away from the scene. „Sorry“, you whispered and he just calmly squeezed your hand. You were glad he was calm enough for the both of you, always grounding you and protecting you.

After a few more hours and tips from Peeta, you gave up for the night and settled back down in your camp. Clove took first watch and Cato pulled you away to your private corner, settling down on the ground between a few boxes. He leaned against a heavy one and pulled you in between his legs - just like he did on the rooftop. It was dark here, a little bit of light filtering through form the fire, but you felt the tension leave you for the most part when you were tucked into his chest.

„You will be okay, I promise“, Cato whispered close to your ear and somehow that made you so emotional, made you feel like he understood your struggle with all of this without you having to say anything and you had to fight back tears for the first time since you had met him. „I love you“, you whispered back, not knowing what else to say and hoping it would be enough. You could feel him gently lift your chin towards him and pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

———————

It had been two days since that night and the other Careers were obsessed with finding Katniss. You hadn’t had the chance to talk with Peeta yet, but you felt his eyes on you sometimes, making you wonder what it was he wanted. And when the others were arguing about which direction Katniss would most likely be in, Cato had stepped away from you for a second and Peeta seized the opportunity.

„So, you and Cato huh?“, he smiled and stepped next to you, „Katniss told me she already suspected something at training.“ You blushed a little at the thought of the other tributes talking about you two. „Yeah, Cato and me“, you smiled too, „and you and Katniss right? At least it seemed like it“. His smiled was fading a little, and you guessed he felt guilty for trying to help the Careers kill her, when he obviously had feelings for her. Her, you weren’t so sure if this was true.

„Yeah I guess the survival instincts kick in“, he lamely explained, but you guessed the underlying message was, that he wasn’t really helping the Careers, just biding his time until he could run off. You could understand that. „I guess“, you sighed, the look you two shared in understanding was interrupted by a mad looking Cato. „Piss off 12“, he growled and pulled you close by the waist, Peeta raised his hands in surrender and walked off with a small smile towards you.

„What did he want?“, Cato gruffly asked with furrowed eyebrows and squeezed your waist, his other hand on the handle of his sword. „Nothing“, you smiled and stood on your tiptoed to kiss his jaw, making him grumble but relent.

You set off on another hunt for Katniss, and had only walked a few minutes next to the river when suddenly Marvel discovered her in the water. Shit. She looked just as shocked as you probably did and if Cato wouldn’t have pulled you along you would have remained there. The Careers followed her through the woods and you were sure you had to witness her death now, when she climbed a tree.

Glimmer missed with her bow and they were getting agitated when Cloves eyes fell on you. „You’re small, can’t you climb up there?“, she grinned evilly and was probably hoping you would either get killed by Katniss or the fall down there. You were about to answer when Cato spoked up. „I’ll do it“, he grunted. „Cato, I can-", you started to say, he didn’t have to do everything for you, you were really starting to feel bad. „No“, he interrupted you without looking at you and laid down his equipment before starting to climb the tree.

You looked at him worriedly, he was way too heavy and tall to climb up a tree like that. And as if you called it, one branch broke and he fell, taking several other branches with him. „Cato! You okay?“, you kneeled next to him, but he just got up with a grunt and glared up a the tree, while you were checking him for injuries.

„Let’s just wait here, she has to come down at some point if she doesn’t want to starve“, Peeta suggested and unhappily the others agreed, climbing up was out of question now that Cato took all the usable branches with him.

———————

You had been laying awake in Catos arms for what felt like hours, your mind running through all the horrible things that had happened or will happen. The thought that Katniss sat up there right now, fearing for her life (just like probably everyone else in this arena) and you were part of the group that was the reason for that, made you sick. All the other deaths were bad, but you didn’t know them. Katniss? Katniss had been nice to you, showing you how to make fire and how to set up traps eventhough she didn’t owe you anything.

Silently sighing you looked up to the sky, the sun started to rise half an hour ago. The other thought that was bothering you, was that it was either you or Cato making it out alive. It wouldn’t be both of you. And considering your chances of survival without him, it would most likely be him. And he was so thickheaded, he would never leave you out of his sight voluntarily, meaning that in the end it would be either him that would have to kill you, or one of you had to sacrifice themselves.

And you sure as hell didn’t want him to die, and neither did you want him to live with your death on his consciousness. A silent tear escaped your eye when you accepted what you had to do. Now was the perfect opportunity to leave. He would be incredibly angry, but you would rather he be angry than either of you having to live with the guilt.

The others were sleeping around you, and you carefully peeled yourself out of Catos arms, sitting up next to him. He didn’t move, and you looked at him for a long moment, before softly kissing his cheek and standing up as quiet as possible. You made sure the others were still asleep and grabbed your small backpack (with your waterbottle, knives and some food) before silently walking towards the edge of the clearing. You couldn’t stop yourself from looking back one more time and you immediately regretted it.

Cato was awake and sitting up, looking at you with a scowl on his face and tense muscles. Your face fell and you went rigid for a second, before tears filled your eyes and you just gently shook your head, mouthing „I’m sorry“ before taking off. Fuck, he wasn’t supposed to see you, and he would most likely follow you now. You still had to try though.

Catos heart felt like it would jump out of his chest. What the hell were you doing? He sensed you were feeling guilty and overwhelmed but he didn’t think you would try to leave. Try being the main point here, because he sure as hell wouldn’t let you. When you mouthed you were sorry, something inside of him snapped and he jumped up as quietly as he could, grabbing his stuff and following you into the forest. He couldn’t do this without you, the only reason he even tried anymore was you.

Tears were running down your cheeks as you made your way through the thicket and you had to surpress a sob when you heard Cato following behind you. You were about ten meters infront of him, but you knew you could never outrun him, no chance. He let you get a little farther, probably to make sure you were far enough from the others, before closing in on you.

You had just made your way between a rock formation and you could hear a small stream nearby when he grabbed your upper arm and hauled you around, trapping you between his big body and the boulder behind you. „What the hell do you think you’re doing?“, he was visibly angry, but tried not you raise his voice and you refused to meet his gaze.

„Let me go Cato“, you whispered, and you meant it in more than the literal sense in that moment. It would be easier if he would forget about you. „Never! Do you hear me? (Y/N) I will never let you go“, he sounded almost desperate and his hands left your arms, one grabbing your waist tightly and the other cradling your jaw.

He hated how you were refusing to look at him, you were the only thing he fucking cared about anymore and you almost left him. You wanted him to let you go. „Why would you even say that? Without you I wouldn’t…I can’t even…“, he was so panicked at the thought of losing your he couldn’t find the words, but you finally met his eyes, „I love you so much baby, please don’t leave me I need you.“

Your heart almost broke for the man infront of you, and simultaneously you felt so much love for him at that moment. „Cato“, you were slightly overwhelmed and your hands softly cupped his cheeks in an attempt to calm him down, „it’s easier if I go, I don’t want it to come down to us two. Better I be killed by someone else isn’t it?“ Suddenly his lips were on yours, desperate and firm and you could only whimper and return it with as much passion. How could you ever think he wouldn’t have hunted you down, no matter how far you went?

Cato pulled back for air and the both of you were panting. „Don’t say that. Never…never say that“, he sounded liked he was in agony and you hated yourself for doing this to him. „But-“, you tried to reason with him. „Don’t“, he growled and pulled you impossibly closer kissing you again, and you sighed softly, thinking in the back of your mind what a great show you were giving the audience. But neither of you cared anymore.

Suddenly Cato flinched and let out a pained hiss, making your heartbeat rise in worry. He turned around quickly, shielding you with his body and then you could see the arrow sticking out of his shoulder. Glimmer. „You’re betraying us already?“, the blonde called out from the top of the opposite boulder you two were leaning against, another arrow readied. Please, please don’t let him die.

Before any of you could react, there were suddenly screams coming from the direction of the other Careers and Cato seized the opportunity. He reached up quickly with his uninjured arm and because Glimmer was distracted he yanked her down roughly by her ankle. With a scream she came crashing down losing the grip on her bow and with a fast movement of his wrist the pretty girls trashing stopped and the canon went off.

„Come one we have to go“, Cato says, and you were still stunned by what just happened in the matter of a few seconds. Then the two of you were off, quickly running through the forest.

—————————

You and Cato had run through the forest as far as he could go with his arm, until you had singled out a really big oak, climbing up to see if you could settle there. The middle of the treetop was shaped like a small circular floor and after Cato managed to climb up the tree - which was way harder for him than for you - it was perfect for you two as a camp.

Cato looked really pale now, the arrow sticking out the front of his shoulder and you were so in over your head. „Shit, I think we have to pull it through love“, you said, your aunt was working as a nurse and a little bit seemed to have stuck with you. He just nodded, and you got out a shirt you had taken as a spare and ripped it in stripes, to immediately wrap his wound once you cleaned it.

„This is gonna hurt“, you softly stroked his cheek and he closed his eyes. You gave him an encouraging kiss and he chased your lips when you pulled away, before you took a deep breath and fought your inner restraints and carefully but quickly pulled the arrow through. He groaned in pain, throwing his head back and holding onto your hip so tightly you were sure it would bruise.

As soon as the arrow was out, you quickly took of his shirt, cleaned the wound with water - you didn’t have anything else on you - and wrapped it tightly with the ripped shirt. The bleeding wasn’t as profusely as you had anticipated, so that means there was probably no major artery hit. „Rest now, I think we’re safe here for now“, you kissed his sweaty cheek and helped him lay down comfortably with his backpack as a pillow.

You settled down next to him, and you thought he was asleep when he suddenly grasped your hand. „Don’t leave“, his voice was raspy and his eyes half closed, but he still looked scared you would try to leave again. „Never, I promise“, you leaned down and softly kissed his lips, „I’m sorry I tried to.“ He smiled a little and squeezed your hand. „I love you“, he whispered and then he was out like a light.

————————

It’s been days up in that tree, and Cato seemed to being doing worse and worse. You two had enough food and you went down to the stream nearby to fill up the water daily, but you didn’t have any adequate medication for his wound. And it was really infected, the edges a glowing red and everytime you cleaned it there came more pus out of it. Cato was sleeping most of the time and when he was awake he seemed mostly lucid and was worrying about you. Which was ironic, because he was the one who needed the worrying.

And worry you did. There wasn’t much you could do, and you hated it. „Here baby you need to drink“, you woke Cato up gently, and he was burning up. Before he could say anything, your evening was interrupted by an announcement from the Gamemakers.

„Attention tributes, attention. The regulations requiring a single victor have been suspended. For these games stand under the star of romance, the Capitol wants to give love a chance. From now on, four victors may be crowned, but only if they consist of two pairs of one male and one female tribute. This will be all announcements.“

You and Cato were silent for a moment, before his good hand gripped your hip where you were sitting next to him. „Fuck baby, that means we could both go home“, he rasped and you were still not registering what that meant, but let yourself be pulled down by him into a messy kiss. „That’s…that’s great“, you gave him your best smile, trying to hide your worries for now. How the hell were you supposed to get his wound to heal? Or the other option - even more unlikely - how were you supposed to win this for the both of you? Damn.

—————————

Cato got even worse over the next day and his breathing was labored. You had shed a few tears when he was unconscious, but tried to pull yourself together for him. But you were helpless, until there was another announcement.

„Attention, tributes, attention. Commencing at sunrise, there will be a feast tomorrow at the Cornucopia. This will be no ordinary occasion. Each of you needs something desperately. And we plan to be generous hosts.“

Medicine. It had to be something that would heal Cato from the gaping wound in his shoulder. „You’re not going“, you didn’t even hear him wake up, but even this weak he sounded dominant. „Yes I will, you need medicine“, you almost rolled your eyes and he scowled at you, sitting up in great agony before you could stop him.

„What are you doing? Lay back down Cato!“, you exclaimed, moving closer but he swatted your hands away. „You will not go to the feast, you’d be dead in a heartbeat. Clove’s still out there, and so is Thresh, I won’t let you“, he grunted, pale and shivering. „Good thing I didn’t ask for your permission then“, you snapped, „you’ll be dead if I don’t go, and it’s only a matter of time that I die then, so no argument you’ll tell me will make me change my mind.“

Cato hated that you were so right. He was slipping in and out of consciousness the last days and to be honest he knew you were right. He just didn’t want to lose you, eventhough he had realized from the start that it would come to that point. But now there was a possibility for the both of you to go home and this stupid infected wound was fucking it all up. The thought of dying and leaving you alone in here, and the thought of you dying were equally painful.

„Fuck“, he cursed, the pain in his shoulder becoming to great to sit up anymore and he laid back down, „please just…let me hold you til sunrise then?“ Your face immediately softened and the now familiar tingling flared up in his stomach at your smile - despite his pain. „Of course baby“, you blushed a little, and he loved that eventhough you were in an arena fighting other people til death, he could make you flustered.

You laid down your head on his good shoulder and he turned onto his side a little, catching you offguard when he captured your lips in a ravishing kiss. „I wish we weren’t in here and I wish I wasn’t sick right now“, he growled in your ear when he pulled away, and you looked up at him shyly when you realized what he meant. „Me too“, you whispered, your hand stroking his cheek before kissing him gently.

————————

You decided against saying goodbye to Cato, he fell asleep all smiley and with several more kisses shared between you and if you died you wanted to leave him with that memory. Fuck, if you died that would’ve meant he died too, so you had to give it your all. You secured the bigger of your two knives in your belt and smaller in your hand and took a look back at the sleeping lover you would leave behind for now.

Then you made it down the tree and carefully tracked through the dark forest, way earlier than needed just to make sure you would make it in time. Once you reached the clearing the cornucopia was in, you settled down in a bush and alertly watched your surroundings.

It must have been over an hour, when the sun started to rise and after a few more minutes a table with five bags on it came out of the ground. Your eyes immediately zeroed in on the one with an eight on it, and you could feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins. You were about to move in - no use in waiting and have someone else snatch up your bag, plus you were fast so if you hurried that would be your best chance - when the redheaded tribute ran out of the cornucopia, snatched her bag and was off.

That was fucking smart, but it was now or never. So you pushed your legs up and ran as if your life depended on it. Because it did. From your left you could see someone else run as fast as you did, and getting closer to the table you recognized her as Katniss. Hopefully she wouldn’t hurt you, considering with the new rules all four of you could make it out alive - if she paired up with Peeta that was.

When you quickly grabbed the bag, the both of you locked eyes and it seemed a quick truce was communicated through that, because you both were on your way again. But then you saw her get a knife thrown at her by Clove. Fuck. You stopped in your tracks when she was tackled by the smaller girl and it looked like she was done for.

You had to help her, she had helped you before without even knowing you so you just had to do something. It was auf if you watched the scene from outside of your body, changing direction and running over to the fighting pair, grabbing your big knife and shoving it into Cloves throat. You pulled it out immediately and both you and Katniss were splattered with the girls blood, the adrenaline keeping you from thinking how horrified you should be at killing another person. That would have killed your in heartbeat if she had the chance.

Clove fell to the side clutching her leaking neck, gasping for air and then she was dead and the canon went off. Katniss got up immediately, picking up her bag and squeezing your shoulder gratefully. „Thanks“, she said and the both of you shared a nod and a smile, before taking of again.

————————

You couldn’t believe you actually survived this, let alone save Katniss. You were still running high on adrenaline when you climbed the tree where Cato was laying with a high fever and a badly infected wound. But now you could actually help him, you actually did it. You let yourself fall next to him, sitting on your knees and pulling out the contents of the bag.

There was a relatively big container in there, wrapped in a cloth, plus a small bottle. They were labeled with their use and so you set them aside, pulling Catos makeshift blanket off and unwrapping his nastily infected wound.

At that he awoke with a groan and looked at you unbelievingly. „You’re alive“, he rasped, he couldn’t wrap his mind around it. His vision was slightly blurred but he could see you actually came back, back to him and you seemed safe. He was thanking whoever was up there that he didn’t lose you yet. „I need to put this on your wound baby“, you said, and he saw that you got the bag from the feast, medicine included. You were incredible.

He nodded, bracing himself for the pain that came with touching his wound, and you scooped up some of the paste before spreading it as careful as possible, using a good amount. He hissed at the initial touch, but after a few seconds the paste cooled down the burning sensation in his shoulder to a low pulsing and he sighed in relieve.

At the sight of the medicine helping already, tension you didn’t even realize was there fell off of you. „Need to do the back to“, you helped him roll onto his side slowly, before spreading the same generous amount on the back of his wound. You packed away the paste safely, before making him take the recommended amount of medicine from the bottle, that was supposed to help with the fever.

It made him extremely sleepy, but you instilled a little water into him, before laying next to him exhausted. It wasn’t dark, but the both of you needed the sleep badly. Hopefully he would feel a little better when you’d wake up.

—————————

When you next awoke you were wrapped tightly in strong arms and pressed to a chest. And you immediately took that as a good sign, that he felt good and strong enough to do that. Then you noticed the sun was rising again, so you had slept for most of the day yesterday.

You enjoyed the way he was holding you a little longer, even more relieved when you noticed his breathing was already stronger and steady again. When you couldn’t wait any longer, you carefully peeled yourself out of his arms to look at his wound. He grumbled unhappily and turned onto his back when you sat up, one hand on your hip and his eyes slowly opening.

„Hey“, his voice was gravely from lack of use and you smiled at him. „Hey“, your hand softly tracked his jawline, „can I take a look at your wound?“ He grinned a little and nodded, so you sat up on your knees and pulled aside the fabric that you had lightly wrapped around it yesterday and you gasped in shock. Positive shock.

„What is it?“, he asked, sitting up quickly, before looking down at his shoulder. „It’s almost gone“, you whispered and couldn’t quite believe that there was only a little bit of pink skin left from his previously gaping wound. When you checked the other side, it looked the same. „How does it feel though? Does it still hurt? Do you still feel sick?“, you worried that it was healing only superficially.

Cato loved the way you worried about him, only now that he felt healthy again was he really able to enjoy it. Fuck, you were so perfect, you risked your life to save him and if you weren’t televised right now he wouldn’t hold back. He was hard already just at the thought of what you had been doing on that rooftop on the last night.

„I’m alright, I feel perfectly fine“, he grinned and suddenly hauled you up and onto his lap with ease. He really seemed to be better. Your gasp was stifled by his lips and they felt warm and soft again, not clammy and cold. You could cry with how happy you felt. You two could make it out of here together.

When he pulled back, he looked you over for any injuries and almost had a heartattack when he saw you were covered in blood. „Why the hell are you covered in blood? Are you injured? Do you-“, you interrupted his panick quickly. „Calm down it’s not mine!“, you cupped his cheeks, your fingers trembling a little when your remembered how you killed Clove.

„How did it get onto you then? You okay?“, he took your hands in his, kissing your shaking fingers and waiting for your answer patiently. „It was…It’s Cloves. She was about to kill Katniss and I-“, your voice gave out and he pulled you closer in comfort. „Hey it’s alright“, he whispered stroking your back softly, the terror you were feeling shrinking a bit, „it will be okay, I promise.“ You just tucked your head into his neck and stayed there for a while.

————————

It has been two more days since then, and Cato was perfectly fine again. There had been a rainstorm and because of the thunder you must have missed the canon, because in the evening you saw that the redhead was dead. So only you and Cato, Katniss and Peeta and Thresh were left.

You and Cato and been walking through the forest, your camp in the tree packed and left behind, and you were searching for food because you were running low. But when suddenly in the middle of the day, the sky turned dark, you knew you wouldn’t need that anymore. The games would come to an end tonight.

„Seems like they want it to end it huh“, Cato gripped your hand tightly, he knew the gamemakers had planned something big if they changed the time of day. „Let’s go towards the meadow“, he suggested and you just nodded, squeezing his hand gently. You almost reached the edge of the forest when you heard it. It sounded like wolves, but more…domesticated. Not quite like dogs either. But it sent a shiver down you spine.

You both stopped to listen, and it seemed like the howls were getting closer. „We should-“, Cato was interrupted when Peeta and Katniss broke out of the thicket about ten meters away, running terribly fast and screaming at you. Run. So that’s exactly what you did, Cato held your hand so tight that the circulation would most likely be cut of but you didn’t care. You only concentrated on getting away from whatever seemed to be chasing you as fast as possible.

You didn’t dare look back, hearing the heavy sounds of paws behind you entirely too close for comfort even if they were a little bit away still. You ran out of the forest and over the meadow, following the other two towards the cornucopia. That seemed like a solid idea.

Cato thought about picking you up so he could run faster, but when he realized you would probably be safe on top of the cornucopia he decided against it. You could make it like that. He heard what were probably mutants pant behind you and howl angrily, and when you finally reached the cornucopia, you had passed Katniss and Peeta a little and Cato immediately took your waist and hauled you up.

Youwere unceremoniously dumped on the cornucopia and were once again awed by Catos strength. He pulled himself up with ease, Katniss right next to him, who started to pull up Peeta. But it seemed like they were a millisecond too slow, because one of the creatures grabbed Peetas leg. „Peeta!“, Katniss screeched and you were thankful Cato immediately jumped into action, grabbing Peetas other arm and ripping him out of the monsters hold.

The four of you stood on top of the cornucopia, panting and gasping for air when you had a chance to look at the creatures for the first time. And you almost got sick at the sight. They were huge mutant dogs, growling and jumping up the side of the cornucopia. But the worst were their faces. They were distinctly human, but not quite. The gamemakers were fucking sick.

Before you could think about anything else, a strong arm wrapped around your neck and pulled you back roughly. With a gasp, you gazed up towards your attacker. Thresh. He was bleeding profusely, and it seemed liked the creatures got him good before they ran after Katniss and Peeta.

The others looked at you in shock, Katniss had an arrow pointed at him and Cato seemed like he wanted to murder and rip apart the tribute holding you with his bare hands. Peeta was limping an balancing on his good leg, looking as helpless as you felt.

„Let her go“, Cato barked at the nearly equally tall man, and your hands grasped the arm wrapped around your throat. „Ha, fuck you! And you don’t even need to try Katniss, if I fall, she falls too“, Thresh seemed to know his situation was hopeless, „fuck all of you! You four get to go home and have a nice life? How’s that fair? Why do you deserve that? I would have deserved that too, Rue would have deserved that, all of us would have!“ He wasn’t only speaking to you, he was looking at the sky and seemingly addressed the Capitol.

Katniss flinched a little when Rue was mentioned. „How about I snap your pretty little neck hm?“, he cackled and you were frozen in fear, „that’s what they want right? Drama, death and betrayal!“

„You don’t have to give them what they want“, you whispered, the other three still rooted in their spots, „you don’t have to be who they want you to be. If you don’t let them, they can’t take that from you.“

Thresh laughed, and then it turned into a sob. Suddenly, he let you go, pushing you forward roughly and Cato caught you in a tight grasp. You turned around just in time to see him raise three fingers to his tearstained face, holding them to his mouth and raising them into the air, before falling backwards and into the pack of monsters on the ground. And then he was screaming, before Katniss went forward and put him out of his misery with an arrow.

Then she raised her hand in the same gesture as he did, Peeta following suit and then you and Cato did too.

———————

You four had waited there for an hour, the pack was long gone and you knew you won the games. But there wasn’t anything happening, which worried you tremendously. When the sun started to rise, you decided to climb down and as soon as your feet hit the ground, the gamemakers spoke up.

„Attention, attention tributes. There has been a slight rule change. The previous revision allowing for four victors has been revoked. Only one victor may be crowned. Good luck. And may the odds be ever in your favor.“

The four of you stood in silence for a few moments, looking utterly defeated. „They have to have a victor“, you whispered, scared for what might happen now, because Katniss was still holding her bow and Catos grip on his sword was so thight his knuckles were white. Only you and Peeta looked at eachother with surrender.

„No“, Katniss said, throwing her bow down and pulling something out of her jacket. Nightlock berries. You recognized them from back home and from training. If you’d eat them you’d be dead before they reached your stomach. And you suspected what her idea was.

„We don’t have to give them a winner, why should we“, she locked eyes with you, and you nodded, looking up at Cato who was watching your reaction. He seemed to know what they were too. He held out his hand just like you. Fuck them. None of you would be happy if you went out of here a victor. Let the last thing you ever did be a big defiance against the Captiol.

„Together?“, Peeta asked Katniss, and Cato couldn’t help himself and pulled you in for one last kiss. He hated that you were going to die - he didn’t care about himself - but he knew you wouldn’t back down. And going together with the woman he loved seemed like a good way to go. And giving the gamemakers a big fuck you felt reassuring too.

Cato let you go and the four of you looked at eachother one last time, your hand tightly laced in Catos, and then Katniss gave a small nod. „One“, Peeta said, and you and Cato moved closer. „Two“, you whispered and looked into his blue eyes, memorizing the way he always made you feel. „Three“, Katniss said and you raised the berries to your mouth, ready to die, when you were interrupted.

„STOP! Stop! Ladies and Gentleman may I present the winners of the 74th annual Hunger Games.“ Cato pulled you into his embrace immediately.

—————————

So this was part 2! And yes I know all four winning is as unrealistic as it might get, but I didn’t want to kill Katniss or Peeta and if I want to write another part, I need the normal revolution storyline. What do you think? Do you want another part?

I just tagged everyone asking for a part 2, I hope that’s alright it’s y’all!

@xplrcolbyy @riverlikethelake @l0stinth3nightsky @lisedanie @mysticdaisy21 @n1ght5h4d3-24 @inparanormal @hannahnikohl @worshiptheduck

#x reader #fluff #angst #hunger games #catching fire #mockingjay #cato #cato hadley #cato hadley x reader #cato x reader #cato hunger games #panem #tributes

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elijahs-dumps · 2 months

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The Infantilization of Wylan Van Eck (within the soc fandom)

Hi! This is my first tumbler post ever, which is like super scary I wont lie. But I've had this project I've been working on since October and I'd love to share it with people, so here goes nothing!

Infantilization or to infantilize someone means to treat them as a child or in a way that denies their maturity in age or experience, and it qualifies as a form of mental abuse.

This treatment is common in fandoms, although it obviously isn't done in a hateful way on purpose. It’s often directed towards characters who are more innocent, more kind, or more anxious than the other characters within the universe. Or, sometimes these characters are literally just the youngest of the group. Some examples of this include, Entrapta from She-Ra and the Princesses and Power, Varian from Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure, Number Five from The Umbrella Academy, Hunter from The Owl House, Little Cato from Final Space, and even Peter Parker from the MCU.

However, most of the traits found in characters that are infantilized are also traits found in neurodivergent people. These traits include, missing social cues, being easily excitable or restless, often feeling anxious hyper fixating on something (usually related to science or math), being an outcast from the rest of the group in some way, and so on and so forth. Therefore, infantilization within fandoms is pretty problematic on its own. People (usually online) think that characters with these traits should be babied or pitied or demeaned in some way, even though neurodivergent consumers usually relate to these characters because of those same traits.

Some evidence of Wylan being infantilized can include; the fact he's only referred to as cute or synonyms to that, while the other Crows or their actors are often sexualized more. People saying or implying he's smaller, weaker, or even younger than the others. And of course, people saying Kaz and Wylan are father and son... which is something I'll come back to later.

Why Wylan?

To better understand why exactly Wylan is receiving this treatment exclusively from the fans, we need to fully analyze the Six of Crows duology, which is exactly what I did!

When we are first introduced to Wylan in chapter seven (Matthias’ POV) of the Six of Crows, we see him sitting at the table and doodling while occasionally chewing on his thumbnail. He doesn't speak until Inej voices her doubts in Wylan’s demolition abilities. Jesper says Wylan “barely knows his trade”, and Kaz mentions that Wylan is “new to the scene”. Matthias also makes a comment about how Wylan “looks like he’s about twelve”. When Jesper and Inej continue to complain about Wylan being their demo man, Kaz tells them that Wylan is doubling as their insurance policy because Wylan is Jan Van Eck’s son, the rich merchant who’s paying Kaz and his chosen crew 40 million kruge in exchange for breaking Bo Yul-Bayur out of the Ice Court. This immediately makes everyone in the room think less of Wylan because of his privileged past.

This introduction sets up Wylan to the readers. His reserved body language, along with his inexperience and Matthias’ comment about his young appearance gives the impression that Wylan is more childish than the other Crows.

In the next chapter (Jesper’s POV) as the Crows react to the reveal of Wylan’s identity, Kaz tells Wylan that he’s “passable at demo, but excellent at hostage”. Jesper calls Wylan a “baby merch” and insists that Kaz leave him behind, less he slows the crew down. Wylan is annoyed that Kaz and Jpeser are talking about him as if he isn't in the room. Then, Kaz tells Wylan that the only reason he hasn't been mugged or jumped in the three months since he left his father’s house is because Kaz placed him under Dregs protection. In fact, Jesper even says that Kaz has been “coddling Wylan”. Jesper proceeds to call Wylan useless as he and Nina belittle Wylan for living in the Barrel “by choice”. This is also where the nickname “merchling” comes from. When the group continues to go back and forth over Wylan’s skills, Kaz repeats that he’s only bringing Wylan along because he doesn’t want to leave their hostage alone in Ketterdam. This makes Wylan the only Crow that wasn’t hired for their abilities, Wylan’s passable demo skills are simply a bonus. It’s a way for Kaz to keep the crew small and avoid splitting the money even further.

This entire exchange and interaction between our six main characters lays out the groundwork for the dynamic between Wylan and the other Crows for the majority of the first book. Everyone else in the room believes Wylan is just another spoiled rich kid. They make fun of him for his lack of street smarts, and the money he was born into. Wylan never really fights back too much when it comes to comments from the others, which just reinforces the idea that he came from a cushy lifestyle where he never had to learn how to defend himself verbally. Wylan’s inexperience and innocence is often mistaken for stupidity by the characters, and therefore the readers.

Kaz saying, “Always hit where the mark isn’t looking.” Only for Wylan to reply with, “Who's Mark?” is a great example of this. (Still chapter eight, Jesper’s POV.)

In chapter nine (Kaz’s POV) we see how Kaz views Wylan in his inner monologue. He says Wylan seems out of his depth, and even though he’s only a year younger than Kaz (making Wylan sixteen) he still looks like a child. Kaz describes Wylan as a silk eared puppy in a room full of fighting dogs. This pushes the concept that Wylan is more childlike than the others further onto the audience.

Additionally, in chapter eleven (Jesper’s POV), we see Jesper quite literally call Wylan “kid” during the attack at the docks, even though they’re also only one year apart. And in chapter fifteen, Matthias refers to Wylan as “the soft one” within his own inner monologue.

Since Wylan doesn't have his own point of view chapters in the first book, the reader’s entire understanding of this character is formed through the eyes of the other Crows. So, what we’re hearing about Wylan in the first book might not be entirely accurate, which is something people often forget. Part of the reason why the fandom treats Wylan the way they do is because of the way the Crows describe and talk to him throughout the entire series, The reader learns to rely on the others’ opinions on Wylan in order to learn more about him.

All of the evidence I have shown so far, and even some smaller things I haven't included, plants a certain mentality in the reader; Wylan doesn't have the same knowledge as the other Crows, so he must be weak and gullible. Weakness and gullibility are often traits associated with the “younger-one-of-the-group” trope, or the “Kid Trope”. So, since Wylan is displaying behaviors that we as media consumers have grown used to attaching to characters who are literal children, Wylan must be a child, or at least be treated like one.

However, the Crows don’t treat Wylan this way because they truly believe Wylan acts like a small child, because he doesn’t. Wylan’s behavior is perfectly normal, it simply sticks out in contrast to the harsh environments all the others have been exposed to. They treat him this way throughout the book as a sort of condescending joke, they belittle him for the stereotypes surrounding his upbringing and little else.

Still, like I said, the Crows’ mindset on Wylan is all the reader is exposed to for the entire first book, so the reader will subconsciously assume Wylan must be doing something to earn this odd treatment from the others. Sometimes readers don’t understand that it is not Wylan’s wealthy and sheltered background that makes him different, it’s the fact that the others are all criminals, murderers, soldiers, and convicts. Wylan is the only “normal” Crow on a very surface level, so his innocence is bound to stick out more.

As the first book continues, we see that there’s more to Wylan’s past than he lets on. We see first hand how smart and capable Wylan truly is, as his character grows with the story. It begins in the fight at the docks in chapter eleven, where Wylan uses his own flash bombs to help Jesper out. In chapter thirteen, Wylan openly questions and even challenges Kaz after he throws Oomen overboard, which shows great courage on Wylan’s part. This pattern of questioning Kaz when no one else really does is a common theme when it comes to Wylan. We also see Wylan explain who Pekka Rollins is to Matthias in chapter fifteen. This shows that he’s not completely incompetent, and is at least somewhat aware of what goes on in the Barrel. Then, in chapter seventeen (Jesper’s POV), Wylan expresses his natural curiosity and desire for knowledge about anything, from the mechanics of the Ice Court moat to the design of Jesper’s guns. All of this builds to chapter twenty-two, where the Crows are attacked on the ice by Grisha who were sent by the Shu, dosed on parem. Wylan does a lot of heavy lifting in this fight with his bombs, and everyone is impressed. Jesper even makes a comment about how Wylan’s “earned his keep” now.

Small moments like this that showcase Wylan’s natural resourcefulness and strength are crucial to communicating with the readers that the Crows were wrong about Wylan in the beginning. As Wylan’s true nature begins to develop further throughout the first book, we slowly see the Crows and their attitude towards Wylan change. It becomes more positive. In the future, when Wylan makes an ignorant comment, the others don’t poke fun at him as much. They’ll tell him to be quiet at most.

By the final climax of Six of Crows, chapter forty-six (Kaz’s POV), we find out Wylan cannot read. Jan Van Eck is open about his hatred and mistreatment of his son. When Jesper jumps to Wylan’s defense, he goes as far as to say Wylan is smarter than most of the others put together. Jesper is in love with Wylan at this point in the story, so his words might be a little exaggerated. But there’s still truth to them. This entire scene serves as evidence that Jesper and the other Crows have realized Wylan’s intelligence and worth, so they don’t even think twice when they find out Wylan can’t read or write.

If all the Crows’ preconceived notions about Wylan were proven wrong before the end of the first book, then why does the fandom still view Wylan in such a problematic way?

Blame Booktok

This is all mainly tied to modern day book consumption, and the obsession with “tropes”. Online reading communities such as “Booktok” or “Bookstagram” have normalized interpreting even the most complex characters through simple archetypes. This is something all six crows are a victim of, in fact, most characters within all kinds of media are.

A good example of this within Six of Crows is Kaz Brekker himself. Kaz, within “Booktok”, is often lumped together with several other male YA love interests in books, like Aaron Warner or Cardan Greenbriar . They all usually share very few qualities, like having violent tendencies, being extremely protective of their loved ones, and acting cold or mysterious towards others. Regardless of the fact that all these characters are so complex and different, from their relationship dynamics, to their morals, to their backstories, readers still often view them as one in the same because of videos online pointing out very minute similarities. A broader example I would use is the way the Hunger Games series was often marketed and discussed as if the love triangle between Peeta, Gale, and Katniss was the main focus of the story. But really it was just a subplot to a more serious and heavy narrative.

People will often focus too much on singular tropes because it makes books easily identifiable and marketable in this new era of self-publishing and online purchasing. It’s easier to judge a book by its cover if you have a broad sense of what might be inside based on the small character details or scenarios other readers liked from it. But what does that have to do with Wylan?

Well, because people often talk about books or even whole genres on a surface level, they also discuss characters on a surface level. This lazy form of consumption is what often leads to mischaracterization. People can obviously understand complex characters like Wylan, so it’s not a question of intelligence. Fans online are just used to discussing things within books fandoms in such a simple way and viewing a character through the lens of one trope. They’ll put the character in a box, and Wylan just so happens to check all the boxes for a character who would be infantilized. Even though there are interesting things about Wylan besides his “innocence”, people are less inclined to talk about it. In short, viewing Wylan as just another character who falls under the category of a simple stereotype is easier than including and discussing his nuances.

So who is at fault?

When it comes to talking about a more harmful fandom behavior, like infantilization, it’s important to keep an open mind. Sometimes, it’s the creator’s fault for writing a character in a problematic way, not the fandom’s fault for interpreting it that way. So, is Leigh Bardugo at fault here for writing Wylan in this light? Or is it the fandom’s fault for not looking past the obvious parts of a character?

I don’t think it was Leigh Bardugo’s fault. If you take the second book, Crooked Kingdom, into account then you can clearly see that the way Wylan is disrespected in the first book is something he’s dealt with his whole life, especially from his father. Wylan has been taught to believe that his reading disability makes him useless as an heir, and as a human being all together. This is one of the reasons why we never see Wylan truly snap back in an aggressive way in Six of Crows when the others insult and belittle him. A big part of Wylan thinks that the others are right about him being useless. Obviously, Wylan couldn’t have had his own POV chapters in Six of Crows, because then that would spoil his father’s true motives. However, I think the fact we didn't get to see his point of view in the first book serves another purpose. Wylan’s low self-esteem is definitely a major thing he needs to overcome in his personal story within Crooked Kingdom. So for the readers to fully understand this, we needed to view Wylan from an outside perspective. First, we get to view him as the other Crows do, as someone sheltered and weak who’s in way over his head. Then, we get to see why Wylan is the way he is. I think this sort of reverse style of character writing is really interesting and more fun to read. But still, not every reader accepted Wylan just because the Crows started to warm up to him. So by extension, this is also why Wylan is one of the most hated Crows. Nevertheless, I think the way Leigh Bardugo chose to write Wylan is inevitable for the story and vital to his character! It wouldn't feel the same if we didn't get to see how the others viewed him first.

The fault lies with the fandom when it comes to Wylan’s infantilization. But, are people online really just lazy when it comes to discussing characters, or is something bigger at play here? I think it’s both. People do misinterpret Wylan’s strong and resilient character because of laziness and the normalization of oversimplification and overconsumption within the book community. But this treatment is also rooted in subconscious ableism. To better explain what subconscious ableism truly is, I’ll be taking a deeper look at a specific dynamic.

Kaz and Wylan (are not father and son)

Despite these two characters only having a one year age gap, the fandom often views Kaz and Wylan’s relationship as one similar to a father and son dynamic. Which is understandable to a certain degree. Kaz is the very first person Wylan ever told about his reading disability. Kaz had Wylan placed under Dregs protection the minute Wylan set foot in the Barrel, which may have been for Kaz’s own selfish reason, but it still kept Wylan safe for a while. There are a couple scenes in the books where Kaz will give Wylan advice about life in general, or about having a disability, not just about being a criminal. We see Kaz take getting Wylan justice for his mother and stealing back Wylan’s inheritance very seriously. Wylan even starts to pick up some of Kaz’s mannerisms and facial expressions. All of these could be viewed as things a father and son would do, despite how small the actual age gap is. However, the fandom seems to take this relationship to the extreme, from fan fiction and fan art, to getting the characters’ actors involved.

It’s somewhat because of very minute subconscious ableism. People naturally view Wylan as younger because of his demeanor, but also because of his disability. The opposite is true for Kaz. His physical disability makes people naturally view him as older than seventeen in their minds. This is due to long standing ableist tropes within the media. People with mental disabilities are often depicted as stupider in some way, so they need to be babied or coddled. While people with physical disabilities are often depicted as very ill, or very old.

This might seem far fetched, but it’s true. And it’s quite obvious if you look closely enough at anything from books, to movies, to TV, to games! These are just some of the harmful stereotypes we see in our world every day,

How to fix this issue

Now, of course people aren’t just going to stop misinterpreting characters or stop viewing them through small scale tropes all together. But keeping yourself educated and aware is a good way to stop promoting these harmful stereotypes. Listen to the voices that are being affected in these situations! In this case, it’s people with mental or physical disabilities. Be sure to take into account what they have to say on matters like this one. Allow yourself to take the criticism and learn from their experiences or feelings. It’s important to be empathetic and kind to one another, and acknowledge that sometimes we do problematic things without intending to. When talking about characters with disabilities, it’s important to remember what they represent, and the fact that you can't always say whatever you want just because the characters are fictional.

As always, if you’re ever unsure about whether something you feel or think is harmful towards a certain community, never be afraid to ask questions and do your research!

#wylan van eck #wylan hendriks #six of crows #shadow and bone #grishaverse #analysis #jack wolfe #wylan x jesper #soc wylan #wylan van sunshine #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker

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ririglow · 1 year

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Madly | Joe Burrow

pairings: loner! joe burrow x popular reader

word count: 11.7k

genre: college au!

warnings: long hair Joe (don't know if that's considered a warning or not but oh well!) reader is a bit of an airhead, cursing, drinking, awkward Joe (he gets no hoes in this), shy Joe (bc why not), the reader is toxic and unlikable in some instances, heavy make-out session, slight dry humping, there's no actual smut in this

synopsis: the popular loner gets dared to play the seven minutes in heaven at a party in a haunted house and you his crush volunteer as a tribute to participate.

a/n: shitty ass description but you get the picture! also yes that is joe with long hair someone on Twitter made that edit and since then my brain has been racking with ideas of long hair Joe. It"s giving "because tonight will be the night that I will fall for yew!!"

It was another Saturday night and you were looking forward to the party you were attending. You've always enjoyed parties, especially when they're hosted by someone you know. The idea of letting loose and having a good time is something you can't resist. You believe that having fun and being a little carefree is an essential part of life, especially when you're in college. You're not afraid to admit it, and you don't care what people think about your party-girl lifestyle.

However, tonight was different. You were feeling uneasy about the party's location, and it was making you second-guess your decision to go.

"Who had the bright idea to throw a Halloween party in a real haunted house?" Cato, your friend, expressed her apprehension as she adjusted her bunny ears. You can't blame her; this was a disaster waiting to happen. Dumb college students decide to rave in a house where there have been numerous reports of "dark spirits" from past murders. As much as you'd prefer not to be the prophet of doom, the situation sounds like something out of a cliche horror film.

It didn't help that the location is in vast flat farmland stretching hundreds of miles with the only sign of life you'd encountered on your journey being countryside animals. What in the world was Sam thinking? What were you thinking?

"That'll be your "bright" boy toy, Sam Hubbard." You respond with a compressed smile as you open the car door and step out. The cold October air hits you harshly, your pink leotard and sparkles fishnet tights were completely useless.

Your gaze immediately latches on the creepy and dilapidated house that wasn't too far off in the distance. The old Victorian-style home that has witnessed the best of days is now weathered and shadowy. The only thing stopping it from looking utterly ghastly was the seasonal decorations on the outside and the loud music blasting inside. Even though the house is not exactly in its prime you couldn't help but admire the elaborate woodwork and design.

"What?!" You felt a hefty smack land on your arm. "I had no idea this was Sam's party! Oh my God!"

"I know right?! Isn't it great?!" You chirped with a big smile. "You guys can finally spend some time with each other. "

Cato rolls her eyes walking alongside you as you make your way toward the house saying, "No thanks I'd like to maintain my dignity."

For a long time, she has struggled with her crush on Sam. Her philosophy is that if she avoids him as much as possible, those feelings will fade. Furthermore, her integrity will not be compromised simply because she has a huge crush on one of the school's wildest and most cocky athletes.

"Believe it or not, he's got a crush on you just as much as you do on him." You mentioned.

Cato rolls her eyes and continues to walk, saying, "That's not a crush; that's pure lust. Which isn't much of a shocker given how many girls he's fucked with around campus."

Your head shook in denial. "Sam might have a negative IQ and spend most of his life doing stupid crap like this," you gesture toward the house. "But take it from someone who hangs around him a lot; he's not like that."

"As the saying goes, seeing is believing, and from what I have gathered, he likes to stick his dick into anything that has a hole in it.".

"Oh really? or are you listening to those friends of yours again whose only action is tongue-kissing a tree?"

You and Cato are from different social circles. You prefer to party instead of attending study programs on the weekend, while Cato is a high-achieving scholar who is driven by the desire to learn. She always puts her education first and is the type of student who would prepare for a pop quiz as if it were an SAT. Needless to say, your ambitions and success are on opposite ends of the spectrum.

"Hey! not too much on Peggy," She scowls defensively. " The bottom line is I know he's only looking for someone to keep his bed warm."

You didn't bother responding because you knew there was no point in persuading her that her perception of him was wrong. Instead, you proceed to the front door of the house. As you both approach, you can smell the musty odor of the place, which is likely to be older than your grandparents.

Since the music was so loud, you grabbed the rusty door handle and pulled it open without knocking. Upon entering the inside wasn't what anyone would expect based on the outside image. The decoration and color scheme looked impressive. Fake cobwebs and caution tape were draped around the foyer, and a number of orange and black balloons were scattered on the floor. There were fake spiders on the walls, but you weren't sure if they were real or not. It wouldn't be surprising if they pertain to the house, you're in. Your eyes roamed over everyone in either the most generic costume to the most ridiculous, a cluster of people stood in corners making out dancing, drinking, or just talking. The energy felt very laidback, you were surprised many people even showed up given the rumors of the house.

A medium-sized table next to the entrance with an "entry fee" sign caught your eye. Rather than a bowl of cash, it had shot glasses holding liquid-filled syringes.

"This is clever," You said in awe as you grabbed two glasses handing one over to Cato.

"Oh no, one of us has to be the sober one here tonight." She said while shaking her head.

"C'mon Cat, it's only one shot and it comes with a chaser," You told her before shooting the vodka-filled syringe directly into your mouth and then chasing it down with a glass of soda.

She sighs knowing you would scowl at her for being such a killjoy. "This will be my first and only drink for tonight"

"Fine by me," You shrug taking another shot." Just as long you're not going to be uptight as a nun in a bar, all night we should be good."

"Remind me why we're friends again?" She says reluctantly, before quickly consuming the vodka.

"We help each other out." You patted her shoulder. "Without me, you would be doing a four-thousand-piece globe puzzle right now bored out of your mind, and I would be here surrounded by idiots alone."

"You'll have Sam," She points out.

"He's one of the idiots I was referring to."

"Takes one to know one." Cato teased, and in return, you playfully shoved her shoulder.

You walk further into the house. Off the main hallway, to the right, is the front parlor. The white sheet-covered furniture in this room is surrounded by a few people who sit idly. You greeted familiar faces passing by, not bothering to engage in full conversation. While Cato is after you, unable to leave your side, which is understandable, you doubt any of her other friends were attending this party. Not like any of them would be able to make it past the front door.

You beckon Cato to follow as you weave through the crowd. You passed a couple dressed up as Fred and Daphne from Scooby Doo making out on the couch with the guy's hand buried underneath the girl's skirt, in front of everyone with zero shame.

Damn. You thought as they were quite literally about to rip each other's clothes off.

"I need to get laid," You said sighing at the sight feeling a bit jealous you have no one to do that with.

"They were so rough with each other," Cato said with a grimace.

"What's wrong with that?" You said without a care in the world. Much like your personalities, your interpretations of sex are wildly different. You remember when she'd gossiped about the times she hooked up with a guy from her debate club, vanilla wouldn't be the word to describe the sex she experienced. It was dull as dishwater, you fell asleep on the phone as she ranted about how sweet he stayed in missionary for the whole hour.

Still to this day, you don't know how she can proudly profess that to someone, even to you. However, as her best friend, you still were pleased that her sex life was no longer non-existent even congratulated her on her achievement of screwing one of the student councils.

You made it to the crowded kitchen and immediately the strong scent of alcohol filled your nostrils, almost clouding your brain. To no surprise, multiple beer kegs are sitting on the counter, floor, and table. One of which is currently being guzzled by the host of the party, while doing a keg stand. Two people assist in holding both of his legs upright as the crowd gathers around shouting "Chug! Chug! Chug!"

"Oh my god, is that Sam?!" Cato exclaims beside you with widen eyes as she takes in her crush doing what he does best, stupid shit.

"Yup." You said simply, popping the "p". Crossing your arms you observe the scene in front of you, wondering how many more seconds he has until he pukes up his last few remaining brain cells.

It didn't take long for his balance to become uncoordinated and soon his body toppled forward falling off the table on the empty cans of beer and balloons that were scattered on the floor. The room quieted down as everyone including yourself and Cato included looked down at Sam, who lay flat on his back staring up at the ceiling.

"Is he okay?! oh my god, we need to help him." Cato motions to step forward, however, your arm shot out to stop her.

"Wait for it..."

You watch Sam slowly gets up before shouting. "That was fucking awesome! Hell yeah!" The crowd was brought back to life as they cheered along with him.

"He can't be serious?" She expressed her surprise.

The crowd cheered as Sam, dressed in a cowboy outfit, showed off his biceps in triumph. "Like a heart attack," you responded simply as he fires himself up, you swear that man belongs in wrestling instead of football. Cato seems unable to take her eyes off Sam, specifically his bare chest, partially covered by a leather vest that looks small in comparison to his enormous stature. With the red bandana tied around his neck and the tight wrangler cowboy-cut jeans, you would've thought he was planning a strip tease show.

"Hey, pick your jaw off the floor he's coming over here." You nudged her softly, watching Sam's eyes brighten extra once he spotted you leaning against the wall before making his way in your direction.

Sam's large frame pushed through the crowd as steps in front of you, his eyes shifting over to the right side of you towards Cato. It was a brief look but you could detect the admiration behind it, and Cato's fake unbothered demeanor as she looks everywhere but at Sam. You could practically hear her internal screaming that was going off inside her head. It's almost sickening how neither party wouldn't dare to be the first person to make a move.

"Y/N! I see you made it." As Sam embraces you, he opens his arms in greeting. As your cheek touches his sweaty chest, a heavy aroma of beer fills your nostrils, making you physically cringe.

"Can't see how I would miss this." You said wiping your cheek with a grimace as you pull away.

"Well, the last time I heard from you it sounded like you wanted to." He said with a chuckle. Your eyebrows furrowed not knowing what he meant. Sam seems to notice and continues saying." You texted me and said Sam, what makes you think I want to party at the exorcist's house?"

You let out a sound of realization, remembering the text you had sent him after he insist you partake in his foolery. To which you flat out dismissed, even though you consider Sam to be one of your closest friends, and find a majority of his chaotic antics amusing there were some things you have boundaries too, and one of those things is being inside a house where multiple murders happened. Not exactly a place you want to go for "fun". But nonetheless, you were here.

"Hey, you made it seem like you were eager to go to this party," Cato spoke up, looking at you confused.

"I was..." You trailed off not knowing what to say, distinctively remembering inquiring to Cato about the party, instead of going to a board game cafe she proposed to you with her friends. "Sam!" You exclaim, changing the subject. "I must say you've outdone yourself with this one."

"Pretty sick right? The blood was hard to scrub off when we were decorating the place but I'd say it turned out pretty good." He nodded to himself looking around.

You and Cato shared a look before saying. "Wait, what?"

He faced you two and flashed a grin. "I'm only kidding."

Before anyone could say anything else a voice calls out. "Yo, Sam!"

It was Sam's best friend Nick. The two of them were strikingly similar in many ways, and sometimes they shared the same uncanny ability to think and act irrationally. However, Nick was not your biggest fan for whatever reason you don't know. Okay, that's not true you do know the reason, but managed to put it past you.

"What's up?" Sam said acknowledging him.

"Me and the boys playing beer pong out back, you trying to shoot?" He asked after briefly greeting Cato and ultimately ignoring you. Ah. No surprise there. Though you weren't fazed in the slightest.

"Hell yeah! are any of you willing to put some money down ?" Sam grinned.

"Logan might not since he blew his last five hundred." His daddy's five hundred, Logan Wilson has never worked a day in his life and only fiend off his rich parents. Just like you. But, unlike Logan, you spend your money on things that are worthy, like shoes, clothes, hair, and makeup…

Not a stupid game that consist throwing plastic balls into cups of beer.

You notice Nick purposely has his back to you and was facing Cato and Sam. Although you didn't care, you don't like being ignored, especially when you're so used to there being a lot of attention on you most of the time.

"It's not nice to ignore someone, Nick." You speak up placing a hand on your chest as if you were hurt by his lack of attention. Hell would have to freeze over for you to find yourself caring about the feelings of someone who ate a worm just because he saw on the internet of it tasted like chicken.

"Not ignoring, just not caring for your existence." He says while cutting his eye over to you.

"And why is that?" You ask with a confused look on your face.

He gritted his teeth as he said, "Are you seriously going to pretend like what you did to Tyler last month didn't happen?"

Throwing up your hands in desperation, you said to Nick, "Exactly a month ago! All wrongs need to be forgiven and forgotten. So tell your brother to stop being dramatic and unblock me so we can work things out. "

"You know, I am so glad you guys are through. That way he can find someone who has more class and is less bitchy." He scoffs.

"Just like your dad did to your mom last year I assume right?"

"You're such a bitch…" He said starting to get in your personal space, however, Sam stepped in between you two.

Your chuckle was uninhibited, despite him being twice as large as you. A hum escaped your lips as you glanced down at your medium-sized pink French tips, reminding yourself to schedule an appointment with your nail technician.

"Hey man, cool it, just go ahead. I'll be out there in a minute." Sam assured giving him a serious look.

Nick continues to glare at you as he walked away while you give him a mocking wave goodbye.

"Cat, I know what you're going to say." You huffed out practically feeling her disapproval.

"Good so you know that was so low of you to do?" She hissed.

"I didn't even say anything that was oh-so bad."

"You were totally out of pocket saying that about Tyler and on top of that you made fun of their parent's divorce!"

"He called me classless and bitchy." You defended. "Sam help me out here?"

He scratches his head looking uneasy. "I don't agree with what he said but you did cheat on his brother."

"Would you guys stop saying that? I didn't fully cheat!" You huffed crossing your arms. "It was more of a half-cheat..."

A month ago you made a big mistake. To make a long story short, you were at your boyfriend Tyler's frat party and got pissed on alcohol, then made out with a guy. Even worse it was the night of his birthday when he discovered you and the random guy kissing. In fairness, you thought he was Tyler since they seemed to favor each other so much. Not to mention that you were drunk. When you're drunk, you sometimes do really stupid shit under the influence.

"Also, he's not officially my ex I'm working on getting him back by the way." You said. Even though he hasn't replied to any of your texts and blocked you on social media, you still believe that he will come to realize what you did wasn't entirely bad and forgive you. Your touch starvation was exacerbated by his absence.

"Shouldn't you...give him space?" Sam spoke hesitantly.

You gave him a stare.

"Space? I've given him a month to forgive me!"

"That is not how forgiveness works." Cato shakes her head. " And I agree with Sam, maybe you should just let him breathe."

You didn't miss the way Sam looked at her as if she knew the answers to all the world's unanswered questions. God that guy is so whipped.

"You act as if I show up at his home with binoculars and watch him."

"No but you did make a fake account on Instagram to-" Sam started to say

"Sam!" You cut him off with a glare.

He closes his mouth and threw his hands up in defense.

"Do you not see what you did was wrong?" Cato asked with curiosity.

"Of course, I think that it's wrong. I even sent him flowers and chocolates but I do think it's a little bit dramatic to break up over a kiss ." You shrugged. It wasn't like you fully had sex with the guy, that's why you call it a half–cheat you were thankfully pulled apart by Tyler before it go into a full-on cheat. Your logic to others may hold some absurdity but to you, it made perfect sense.

"Besides this isn't our first time having a break." You added.

"Yeah but that break was due to the fact you thought he was cheating on you with his sister!"

"I didn't know who she was! It's not my fault he hadn't taken me to meet his family."

"Because they don't like you." Sam chimes in.

"Ouch." You say, even though you know it was true. His mom down to the damn family dog didn't like you. Naturally, you never let that bother you. His family wasn't the only people you've come across that didn't take a liking to you and most certainly wouldn't be the last. Would it be nice if you could actually get along with his family? Sure but It's also nice to just have a good dick in your life and someone to talk to, that was all you needed anyway. You're dating him not his family.

"Anyways that's enough talk about my love life." You didn't feel like getting ridiculed about your relationship, especially by two people who are too cowardly to be in one.

The loud mellow beats from a song traveled throughout the house. With the bass shaking the windowpanes threatening to burst at any given moment, though it wouldn't surprise you considering how old this house is. Amid the sounds of people laughing, yelling over the music, drunken whooping, doors opening and closing, and the occasional pop of a balloon. You and Cato were throwing down in a swarm of sweaty drunks. Red solo cups in both you and Cato's hands you didn't know how long you were dancing or where the hell Sam drifted off to, probably had to gather himself once he'd seen Cato taking off her jacket revealing her black leotard unveiling her slim figure. The costume is completely out of her comfort zone thanks to you who insists you both go as the cliché sexy bunny girls.

You didn't know how long you were dancing, but the air felt hot and tight, the fog machine certainly didn't help either mixed with the sweaty odor of dancing bodies. Fresh air is definitely needed. You took a sip from your cup and swayed to the beat of the song, while your dancing had relaxed Cato was full-on letting her wild-side show. The responsible and shy girl who never parties, now is having the time of her life shaking away the modesty she had prior. By the time she hit the dance floor, she was already on her second? or fourth cup. You didn't know, regardless she completely went against her statement about only having one drink. Nevertheless, you were relieved her Alessia Cara syndrome wasn't set in motion and that she was finally letting herself have fun and not hiding somewhere in the corner playing chess on her phone.

Tilting your head back you quickly drink the last bit of alcohol. Your glossy eyes drifted around the room hoping to find a hot guy to fill your empty void and take home. No one. Absolutely no one caught your eye. Looks like it'll be yet another lonely night as you wait for Cameron to take you back. With a deep sigh, you turn your attention back to Cato who looked as if fresh air was something she needs, tiny beads of sweat trailing down her temple and her hair slightly frizzed. You knew you probably didn't look any better, if not worse. As much as you love parties they get exhausting quickly.

"I'm sweating my tits off let's head out in the back." You shouted over the loud music.

Whether Cato heard you or not she still nods her head. Slightly uncoordinated and a little bit tipsy you proceeded to walk in the direction of the back of the house, ignoring the way your body brushed up against multiple sweaty bodies and obvious lustful stares from onlookers. It would be a whole different story if they were at least attractive. You reach the rear entrance which is located by the kitchen the glass knew it the frigid air hits your warm bare arms and legs. The wind felt brisk and smelt heavily of weed.

"Whew! I thought I was gonna die for a second." Cato pants as she chugs a bottle of water you didn't notice she took.

"No kidding." You said shaking your head as you took in the scenery in front of you.

Unlike inside, the outside wasn't decorated and didn't have that many people standing around. Outside furniture was occupied by multiple people. Looking around you notice there are two main areas on the patio everyone is hanging around one by the firepit which resembles a snooze fest you barely took a glance, the other area, however, grabbed your attention it's the area Sam is at so, of course, it would be the loud, full of life and obnoxious. Multiple people stood around the pong table rotating the small burning herb to each other as Nick and Sam's team go back in forth.

"Joe's here!?" Cato says right before you were about to make your way over to Sam's side.

"What?" You asked not knowing who she was referring to, Joes are few and far between in your life, such as your uncle, a creepy gas station clerk to whom you gave a fake number, and the quiet boy from second grade who sat next to you during class.

You didn't recognize this Joe though.

Cato's finger points in the opposite direction of a guy with neck-length hair sitting down on the mini sofa looking very disinterested and ready to go home. He took more interest in fiddling with his fingers than anything. The longer you stared at the more you realize how cute he is.

She turns her head and squints her eyes at you. "Joe from my study group, the one I told you that'll help you with your Physics? You were to meet him at the library last week."

Ohhh, right. That Joe. Although she assigned him to you as a tutor, you've never actually met him, only hearing about his extreme isolated ways and brilliance in science from Cato.

"Please me tell you went and didn't bail on him?" She expressed that when she noticed the look on your face.

"What? Pfft, no I would never!" You exclaim waving her off.

"Well, let's go say hi. He looks miserable. I'm sure he'd like to see some familiar faces." Cato said.

You scanned the area and noticed he was the only one sitting there in his little world. Only an empty bottle of Kirkland purified water sat on his lap and kept him company.

Oh no...

Without giving you a chance to protest and give her a bullshit excuse she drags you along in the direction of Joe. Shit, shit you deadpan because you did bail on the study date she arranged for you. To you, the proposition of going shopping seems way more fun than sitting in a library bored out of your mind while some know-it-all explains the properties of matter and energy. It was a pain in the ass in high school and even more so in college.

When you both approach you have a chance to get a really good look at him and wow is he extremely attractive? That was the only word you could think of to describe him. His dark blonde hair is long and creates a messy curtain bang that compliments his features well. Pink lips with a defined jawline you were sure models only dream of having. He looked unreal, too good to be true. This man is gorgeous and you can tell even though he's sitting that he's tall and has a nice body underneath the semi-baggy outfit.

You were not the type to feel timid, but when his enchanting blue eyes looked up at the two of you. It took everything in your power to not shy away.

"Never in a million years did I think I would see Joe Burrow at a party, let alone a Halloween one," Cato said, shocked while leaning down to give him a brief hug as you stood behind her side awkwardly.

You secretly prayed for him not to acknowledge you, the last thing you want is him bringing up your "study date".

Cato will kill you if she finds out you didn't make it. Ever since you barely graduated high school with her, she's made it her duty to be your personal academic advisor to help you throughout college. So far it has been a rough couple of months for you in terms of grades and you've concluded that education is about to come to an end for you.

Joe forces out a laugh like he's been caught doing something he shouldn't. "I could say the same to you. Ezekiel dragged me here."

"Ah I see, y/n did the same to me." Cato said turning his attention to you.

As soon as he made eye contact with you, he began to peer up at you. With a sense of wonder and concern?

Taking you by surprise, he asks, "How is your grandmother?"

What?

You furrowed your eyebrows looking confused before you responded. "Um?"

His cheeks flush a deeper red and his eyes downcast to his fingers which didn't stop fiddling in his lap. Jesus his hands were huge, and veiny. Although it was difficult, you were able to look away and focused what came out his mouth next.

"Well, apparently, you texted me last week letting me know you couldn't make it to the study date we had due to your grandma being ill. That's my bad if I pried too much, I was just concerned. You don't have to answer, that was stupid of me to ask." He begins to ramble and even stutter at one point.

There is a lot of opening and closing of your mouth while you are unable to find any words to say. It wasn't long before Cato's eyes were drawn over to you, and a sharp, glaring gaze immediately identified the problem.

You grimaced as you fiddle with the pink pearl necklace an item that was bought on your shopping spree. "Oh! Um, she's fine, alive... and well." You said with a smile.

Your memory of telling that lie is hazy at best.

As far as you know, your grandmother is in great health and is not even in the same country as you. Instead, she is enjoying retirement with her husband probably relaxing on the beach in Rio de Janeiro, certainly not cooped up in her house with severe hay fever.

You could feel Cato's heated stare and you didn't dare look at her instead you pretend to take an interest in the mini firepit as if it were the most interesting thing in the world right now.

"That's—uh good to hear." He stammers out quietly. His eyes were still trained on his fingers, you notice his right leg started to bounce up and down rapidly.

You feel a strange sensation creeping up on you like a dark cloud hovering over your head. You can't quite put your finger on it, but it feels like a mix of uneasiness and discomfort. It's been a while since you've felt this way, and you're not sure how to deal with it. You try to ignore it, but the feeling only grows stronger, until it's almost suffocating. You realize that what you're feeling is guilt and shame, two emotions that you thought you had left behind a long time ago. You've always considered yourself to be someone who lives life without regrets or faults, but now you can't deny the fact that you've done something that you're not proud of. The weight of your actions is heavy on your chest, and you don't know how to make it go away. You take a deep breath and try to face the guilt head-on, knowing that the only way to move forward is to acknowledge your mistakes and learn from them.

Right off the bat, you knew Joe lacked a lot of social skills and was not the type to be outspoken which is why he didn't question you further. He didn't seem like the kind of guy to be presumptuous in any way. And that made you feel even worse. You met this man less than two minutes and he's already waking up emotions within you.

Clearing your throat you straightened your posture as if you weren't fazed in the slightest. Though you felt like the worst person on the planet. "Well, Jeff—"

You were cut off by Cato swatting your arm. Looking at her in utter confusion as to what did you say wrong. She hissed out, "It's Joe"

Instead of giving you an offended look, he chewed the inside of his lip looking everywhere but at you. He didn't even bother correcting you. Judging by his demeanor you can tell he's feeling extremely awkward.

"Joe, do you mind if I take a seat right here?" You gave him another strained smile, pointing to the small space next to him.

He nods his head and watches you plop down with a sigh of relief. Your heels have been slowly killing you for the past few minutes, and you were on the verge of taking them off at any moment. However, even if you were wearing stockings, you would be too afraid to let your feet touch the filthy ground, no matter how protected they were.

Because of Joe's large frame taking up most of the space and your side being pressed against his, you could feel his body tense as he awkwardly folded his arms in his lap in an attempt to avoid any contact, like that seems to be his goal. And maybe it is considering the fact you'd just acknowledged him by the wrong name and to top it off you failed to show up last week.

You're almost certain he doesn't like you very much at the moment.

Maybe you can change that...

Just as you were about to say something to Joe, Cato beats you to the punch. "So, how long have you been hanging out here?"

"Um—" Joe pauses to take a deep sigh, his mouth twists as he thinks over his answer. "For about ten minutes or so, it's more tolerable out here than in there."

"That's true." She nods in agreement. "Have you had anything to drink?" Cato speaks again with a smile, but you could still see the irritation behind it not aimed at Joe but toward you. And you knew what it stemmed from.

"Of Alcohol? No—"

"No? That is horrible! We'll fetch one for you." She rushes out of her seat, which was across from you and Joe, before you can react she grabs your forearm, yanking you from your seat as you sputter out in surprise and confusion.

"I'm good you don't have to—" Joe spoke up but Cato was already headed towards the door that leads back inside the house. You passed Sam who looks confused watching Cato drag you back into the house.

Within seconds of entering the kitchen, she pulls you to a corner where fewer people are gathered and stares at you with a glare.

"Ow, what was all that for ?" You whined rubbing your arm.

"You are such a liar! Where do you get off??" She exclaims. You open your mouth to answer but she put her hand up to stop you. "That was rhetorical."

"I'm guessing this is about the tutor date?" The question came out more as a statement than anything.

"You think!? I was under the impression you were going to put in some effort." She sighs deeply with a sense of disappointment in her eyes. You felt like you were standing in front of your mother instead of your best friend. "Is there any way you can justify, with truth for disregarding his time to help you?"

Actually yes, you would not be standing here looking hot as you are if it wasn't for the shopping spree you did. However, you had a feeling she wasn't going to like that answer so instead you gave her the answer she wants to hear.

"Would you calm down? I'll just reschedule."

You were planning to do that anyway since your Physics grade was declining rapidly. Your professor's angry emails keep reminding you.

Cato laughs half-heartedly. "I wish you luck with that, Joe keeps to himself and does not tutor anyone. I had to give up my LEGO creator space shuttle explorer for him to agree to tutor you, now that was for nothing."

Her LEGO what?

"I'm sure he'll take pity on my grandmother and give me another shot." You said with a sly smile.

"You think he actually bought that?"

You never cared enough to see if others believed your excuses in the past, so it was difficult to tell. However, you care now, especially since you feel extremely guilty about the entire situation.

"Dunno, if he did or didn't I'm still gonna ask him."

Cato looks at you for a few seconds before sighing. "Why not just find another tutor?"

"Because It's unlikely I'll find one who looks like that." You weren't going to sugarcoat the reason for wanting him to be your tutor, his looks play a major part. The shopping spree would have been a no-go if you had known how hot he looked before you canceled out on him.

"Jesus, you are something different." She snorts as she grabs a can of beer.

"I take that as a compliment" You smile brightly.

"Well, if he agrees promise you'll take it seriously this time?"

"Come hell or high water, I'll be there." You responded quickly, ready to go back outside and accompany Joe again.

If he could change one thing tonight it will be texting Ezekiel earlier out of boredom. Joe thought maybe they'll end up playing super smash bros or catching a few sports games on TV. Instead, he had unintentionally allowed his roommate to coax him into going to a party he had zero interest in. Joe lives and breathes to stay in his own space so the idea of being surrounded by sweaty bodies, booze, and a bunch of horny people looking for someone to spend their night with has never sparked his interest. As soon as he enters the doorway he automatically wanted to turn back and spend his night copped inside his apartment, that's how he spends most of his nights anyway: tucked away from the world while entertaining himself with reruns of Animal Planet.

Now he's surrounded by the aroma of sweat from different bodies and loud music that will surely have his ears ringing once he leaves this place. God he hates these types of parties, and to make matters worse it's on Halloween his least favorite holiday.

He felt like the odd man out standing in the dusty corner of the keeping room that is adjacent to the kitchen taking tiny sips of water because he didn't want to rush the drink fearing he'll get thirsty soon after, then he'll have to re-collect his strength to navigate through the rowdy crowd to get another. There are a lot of people and almost all of them are drunk off their asses including Ezekiel who is grinding sloppily between two girls with devil horns.

As out of touch as he is with the scene in front of him, he couldn't knock anyone for having fun. And is glad his roommate is enjoying himself for the most part. No matter how ridiculous Ezekiel looked in his fireman costume which was just an opportunity to show off his abs in hopes to attract the attention of girls. One of the many things Joe does know is that Ezekiel is a fuckboy through and through. He drinks, smoke, party, and fuck around with nearly every girl on campus it's enough to make Giacomo Casanova appear like a gallant virgin. It's no surprise he found his remedy within minutes of arriving, whereas Joe is still struggling. Not that he's trying anyway. He doubts he'll find anything enjoyable at this party.

Joe sighed as he surveyed the crowd for the millionth time. He looked for the usual drunkenness, obnoxious yelling, and horny dancing of college students. He sees people in all kinds of costumes. There were witches and ghosts, superheroes and villains, and even a few monsters. The music is loud and unbearable, and everyone seems to be having a good time. A part of him wonders sometimes if he is wasting his life by being alienated since he was not tempted by indulging in that lifestyle. Having been that way since he was in high school, he occasionally felt sorry for his parents for having to deal with his reclusive behavior, however, he soon realized there are worse things he could do or be. In his view, being introverted never hurt anyone.

That's when he saw her. Suddenly it seems like there is no end to the misery inflicted upon him tonight.

Across the room, dressed in a revealing cat costume that shows off her curves, is Brooke Earle his oh-so-loving ex-girlfriend whom he'd only dated for six months. She was surrounded by a group of guys, laughing and visibly flirting with them. Joe felt a pang of familiarity and distress. He remembered how she used to flirt with other guys when they were together, and how she would always make him feel like he wasn't good enough for her. He remembers how she would get mad over the smallest things, and how she would blame him for everything that went wrong with their relationship. The air suddenly felt thick and his stomach churned at the sight of her.

He'd broken up with her a few months ago but still felt like he was under a spell. He was afraid that if he ever saw her again he'd be drawn back into her toxic world. She looks beautiful with her long blonde curls and tight catsuit, but he knew her beauty was only skin-deep.

Joe felt a wave of anxiety wash over him. He didn't want to be in the same room as her, let alone give her an opportunity to talk to him. Without a second thought, he turn to make himself blend in with the crowd but it was useless considering he stuck out like a sore thumb since he was towering over nearly everyone in the room and is the only one not wearing a costume.

Then he heard her call his name.

"Wow I must be dreaming, I didn't know you were coming tonight!" Brooke says walking over to him with a smile. "You look nervous?"

Joe could feel his face turning red and his palms began to sweat as he looks down at the ground. He doesn't know what to say to her, they weren't even close to friends. He didn't want to be rude, but he also didn't want to engage with her either.

"I,uh, you look great I wasn't expecting you to be here." He mumbles. If he did he would've stayed put in his apartment.

She laughs a sound that's equivalent to nails on a chalkboard. "You weren't expecting me? I wasn't expecting you," she said. " Well, I'm glad I finally ran into you, we should catch up sometime."

That's the last thing he'd want. Even though they attended the same college, he had avoided her at all costs since their breakup. It was easy for him to do so because he rarely goes out anyway.

He felt like he was suffocating as he shook his head. "No, I don't think that's a good idea," he said. "You are not going to wield yourself in my life again."

She looked taken back as if that was the last thing she'd expect him to say. "What? Why not?" she asked.

He took a deep breath trying to find the right words to explain. "I just don't think you're healthy for me to be around," he said. " you're not someone I want to be my girlfriend let alone someone who I can catch up with."

Brooke looked stunned and a bit hurt. But he knew he had to be honest with her. No more walking on eggshells.

He didn't let her utter another word before making his way toward the patio door. Ezekiel gave him a questionable look, worried about his friend's abrupt exit. However, he reassured him with a simple shake of his head to let him know everything was fine even though it was not.

As soon as he stepped outside, he let out a huge sigh of relief. He was finally able to breathe in some fresh air and escape the toxic presence of his ex.

Joe felt a mix of emotions as he drags his feet to the other side of the patio and sat down on the surprisingly clean outside sofa, ignoring the loud whoops and cheering by the small crowd that gathered around the beer pong table. He tried to shake the feeling of seeing her again but she had a hold on him. One that is negative. It was the last thing he wanted to do to himself again.

Untwisting the cap on his water bottle and taking the last swig. His stomach still felt fluttered and on edge hoping she doesn't decide to follow him outside.

As he sat on the patio, the flickering flames of the small firepit cast an orange glow across his face. He began to stare into the fire, lost in thought as the unpleasant memories his ex he desperately tried to keep away began to flood his brain. All those troublesome arguments she'd purposely try to start just so she can have an excuse to walk out and cheat left a nasty taste in his mouth. He thought about all the hurtful things she had said to him by now he knew she shouldn't faze him but it was hard to let go of the memories of someone who'd been such a big part of his life.

As the fire crackled and popped along with the loud chatter coming from the other side of the patio, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to find the strength to not just say screw this party and leave Ezekiel to walk thirty-five miles home.

Suddenly he hears the sound of high heels clicking in his direction he looks up to see his friend from work-study, Cato, walking toward him with you in tow. He felt his heart skip a beat once his eyes landed on you, standing there dressed in a pink bunny costume. You look beautiful and vibrant. Joe feels embarrassed to admit that he's developed a small crush on you which is why he agreed to Cato's arrangement with the study date, if it were anyone else he wouldn't have done it.

But that backfired badly when you didn't show up.

He remembers walking out of the library feeling disappointed. He looked forward to that study date all week long. It was going to allow him to finally have a conversation with you and show you how smart he is. He'd waited there for hours until he got the text from you about your grandmother being sick which he believed until he inquired about her well-being to you.

The look on your face told him all he needed to know. Your face was tense, your eyes were darting around, and you seemed to be avoiding his gaze.

At first, he didn't know what to make of it. Had what he said upset you? Did your grandmother's health gotten worse?

Then you spoke, and he realized what was going on. You had lied to him. You made up an excuse for not showing up and now you're standing there underneath Cato's heated stare. Which tells him she didn't know about the lie you told.

He felt a mix of emotions. On one hand, he was somewhat hurt that you told him a terrible lie because he was truly concerned. Furthermore, he felt more awkward and embarrassed when, seconds later, you called him by the wrong name, which made him wonder if you were paying any attention to him at all.

Joe looked over to Cato who made small conversations while ultimately still glaring at you. He just sat there, feeling uncomfortable and flustered due to the fact you were sitting next to him and the aroma of your sweet perfume enchanting his senses. Before he knew it Cato was rushing to get him a drink he tried to decline the offer but it went in one ear and out the other. She urges you to follow her into the house as he sat there by himself once again unsure what to do next.

As he sat there waiting for your return, he watched the frat guys on the other side of the patio play beer pong. They were loud and obnoxious, shouting, and high-fiving each other after every shot. He felt a twinge of familiarity when he recognized one of the guys, Sam Hubbard. Ezekiel brought him around a few times and they'd only had a handful of conversations. Even though he wasn't used to talking with guys like Sam (excluding Ezekiel) who was outgoing, boisterous, and a bit of an airhead. There was still something about him to Joe that made him feel at ease. He seemed genuinely friendly and curious.

He was about to pull out his phone busy himself with playing a chess tournament when he heard someone call out his name.

"Joe! What's up, man?" It was Sam, walking from across the patio in his direction.

"Hey, Sam," He greets back standing up from his seat to give him dap.

"Dude it's been a while since I've seen you! What brings you to this party? You don't strike me as a party guy."

Joe shrugs. "Ezekiel wanted me to check it out, I don't know anyone here besides him and Cato."

He didn't bother to mention Rebecca it's best if she's kept locked out away in the past.

"Well, you know me!" Sam said, clapping him on the back before leaning closer to his ear. " Say, uh, are you and Cato like a thing? I saw you guys hug or whatever.. not that I'm a stalker—"

Sam continues to ramble until Joe stops him.

"Cato and I aren't together, we just know each other from a study group," Joe assures him so that he be free of Sam's beer breath wandering in his face.

"Oh! Really, man? That's great!" He throws an around Joe's shoulder excitedly. "Me and the boys were going to play truth or dare wanna play?"

Truth or Dare? He hadn't played that games since he was in elementary. It wasn't his favorite either, he hated being put on the spot in front of strangers.

He went to open his mouth to decline when he sees you walk back out onto the patio with Cato.

"What are you guys up to?" You ask observing the scene as you walk over to the two men.

"Joe just agreed to play truth or dare with the boys and me, you girls want in?"

You took a glance at Joe who was already looking at you and judging by his expression it didn't look like he got a chance to have a say in the matter.

"Only if other girls are playing too," Cato said crossing her arms, not wanting to play Truth or Dare with a group of just men. And honestly, you don't blame her.

"Of course! Yeah, hell yeah. Troy got his girl, Danielle. Ashley—" He pauses looking up to think of some more people. "Oh! And Alix from Cheer."

"Well, I'm in!" You beam. Not wanting to turn down any potential entertainment and playing those types of games brings out the best.

"Cool, I'm gonna gather up the rest and bring the bottles out." Sam grins patting Joe on the back before scurrying off.

Soon after, everyone crowded around on the patio. Forming a circle around the firepit. You took your previous spot next to Joe whose leg started to bounce up and down, you took pity on the guy because unlike before he was surrounded by a group of drunken party-goers something he was most likely trying to stay away from inside.

"Okay, here are the rules: You can either choose to take a dare or take a shot." Sam holds up a bottle of Patron Silver Tequila.

You frown in disappointment. "I thought we were playing Truth or Dare. Do you have to bring alcohol into everything?"

"It makes it more fun if you don't like it, don't play," Nick spoke up with irritation

"I'm just speaking for the people who don't drink, dickhead."

And by people you mean Joe, the drink Cato had given him is still full. You'd only seen him take a small sip which was out of appreciation. Seeing that gave you a conclusion he wasn't much of a drinker.

"Well, we know you're not one of those people. Little Miss "Alcoholic." Nick spoke.

"Really? That's all you got? I've been called worse by better." You said while flipping him off.

A few people chuckled, including Joe. Your stomach did a flip at the sound of laughter coming from him.

"Watch it now." A redhead spoke who is propped on Nick's lap.

"And what's gonna happen if she doesn't?" Cato raises her eyebrows at the girl. Tension began to arose as everyone look between you and Cato and the redhead with expectancy.

Sam clears his throat." Alright guys, let's start!"

The game starts with Sam daring Troy to give Danielle a lap dance which left everyone looking at the scene with amusement because Troy couldn't dance if his life depended on it. The game continues, with dares getting more and more ridiculous. On Cato's turn, she surprisingly picked "Dare", which turned out to be a harmless one. She had to call a nearby 7-Eleven and ask if they were open. So far no one has picked Joe and you could tell he was feeling at ease. Until it was Sam's turn again.

"Joe, it's your turn my man, Dare or Drink?" He grins face flustered from liquor.

Joe hesitated for a moment, not sure what to do. He's never played this kind of game before and he didn't want to look like a party pooper in front of you .

But then, he made his decision. "Dare," he said, trying to sound confident thinking he'll get an easy one like Cato.

However, by seeing Sam's growing smirk, he knew that wasn't going to be the case.

"Alright then, I dare you to ask any girl at this party to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with you."

Joe felt his heart sank. That's the last thing he wanted to do but he knew he had to follow up with the dare. He hesitated he didn't want to pick anyone he didn't know and be stuck in a closet with someone he didn't like.

Of course, he had you on his mind, but he doubts you'll agree—

"I'll play with you," You spoke up, with a smile while looking at him. "If that's okay?"

He felt his heart skip a beat. You looked at him with such anticipation. Not trusting his voice he nods his head in agreement. The rest of the guys excluding Nick hollers and whistles as you stood up holding out your hand for him to take which he does. He ignores the tingles he felt as his hand engulfs yours. Taking note of how soft and delicate they feel.

Sam led you both into the house to the upstairs closet. On the journey there you kept a firm grip on his hand, and as you weave through the crowds of people Joe caught the attention of Ezekiel who was still sandwiched between the two girls. "That's my boy! Go ahead and getcha some!" He yells out excitedly.

Joe felt his cheeks fluster, he doesn't know what to expect since he's never played the game seven minutes in Heaven but he knew it wasn't going to be any of that. By the sound of it just means that you two would be locked in a closet for seven minutes what could you two possibly do in such a small duration of time?

"Joe! Joe!" Brooke suddenly appears." Where are you going?" she asks him while giving you a sharp look. To which you reciprocated by looking at her unfazed.

He ignores her and motion you to keep walking. While Brooke looks on in anger and jealousy. Even though he didn't care whether she feels those types of emotions or not, a part of him felt good that she was seeing him with you. Maybe that'll show her once and for all she is not the girl he's chasing after anymore.

"Okay here we are you two have fun, remember seven minutes!" Sam cheesed as the three of you stop in front of an old closet at the end of the hall.

He ushers you two in and just as he was about to close it, your hand shot out to stop it. "Look after Cato don't let any weirdos near her. "

"You got it." He said with a salute before shutting the door leaving you and Joe In the cramped space. The only thing that accompany you two was the dusty light bulb above which only provided dim lighting.

It was tight and dingy in the small closet. You didn't care though, you were too busy staring at Joe as he towers over you, his entire physique is large. His breathing is soft and you can feel his body close to yours. There was a long moment of silence before you decided to try and break the ice.

"So," You clear your throat, rocking back on your heels. "You don't like parties."

Joe chuckles softly feeling his nerves ease up a bit. "Was that meant to be a question?"

"Just an observation." You responded trying to look anywhere but at him which was quite impossible since he was the only thing in your view due to his height.

"Well, your observation is correct." He sighs feeling himself relax. " I'm more of a....loner if that's what you want to call it. So these types of events aren't really on my radar."

"What is on your radar?"

"Being occupied with school and football." He says.

That piqued your interest Sam's always trying to get you to attend the school's football games. "You play football?."

"Well sometimes, I'm the third-string quarterback." Joe looks rather embarrassed to say as of you'll make fun of him, but you were just left confused. Much like any sports-related talk would have you.

"I'm sure you're great!" You beam a smile at him showing off your pearly whites.

"Thanks." He says with a smile.

You stood there in thought about your earlier introduction. Mentally cringing at how stupid you must've looked by not remembering your lie and how you addressed him by the wrong name.

"Hey, um, about the tutoring thing. I'm sorry." You said.

"Sorry about canceling out on me? Or the fact you gave me a horrible lie about your grandmother?" Joe said with amusement as he crossed his arms leaning on the door.

Damn, Cato was right he didn't buy it. You thought.

You let out a defeated sigh. "Both,"

He stares at you for a second squinting his eyes in thought. "What did you do that day anyways?"

"I made plans to go shopping. " You mumble looking down at your heels, expecting him to scoff or sigh in disappointment. The reaction you were used to by many.

"And you didn't think I'd want to go? I'm a bit hurt." He places a hand over his heart.

Your eyes light up as you looked up at him. "What?"

"Yeah," he shrugs pushing himself off the door. "You look like you know a thing or two about fashion and I desperately need some pointers."

"I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not. " You said slowly still eyeing him.

He threw his hands up in surrender. "No sarcasm. Just want to give you a heads up come the next tutor date if you so happen to have the urge to go shopping again just let me know, and I'll be happy to join you."

"Next.... tutor date?" You tilted your head in awe you were almost certain he wouldn't be so willing to ever offer you any help again.

Joe chewed the inside of his cheek before saying. "You don't have to come—"

"No! I want to! It's just..."You trailed off trying to find the right words. "I wasn't expecting that."

"How come?"

You shrugged. "Figured you'd hate enough to not tutor me."

"I'll admit... I was a little hurt. But it wasn't enough to make me hate you, trust me on that." He says the last part quietly while his eyes lock directly on yours.

There was an air of infatuation in his eyes as he looked at you with a shy smile. You didn't miss the glimmer of interest in his expression.

A moment of silence fell in the small closet the only sound that could be heard is the thumping bass from the music downstairs. The proximity between you and Joe is so close when you look up at him for the millionth time you notice a small piece of cobweb in his hair. More likely due to the fact his head directly touches the ceiling.

"You have something in your hair." You stated.

He blushes. "Oh, thanks for letting me know"

"Here, let me get it for you." You gently remove the cobweb from his hair.

"Thanks." He says.

Taking him by surprise you stepped closer to him, your chest pressed against his. You hear his breath hitch by your movement and see his Adam's apple bob up and down when he swallows thickly. "Your hair is very pretty." You breathe out reaching up to swirl one of your manicured fingers through his hair.

Joe blinks at you, not finding the strength to formulate any words he could feel his face heats up bashfully.

"You're very pretty too." He mumbles so low you almost didn't catch it.

You open your mouth with only the tip of your tongue showing. With sparkling eyes, you decide to test the waters a bit when you lean closer to him as if you're telling him a secret. "Wanna make out?"

"What?!" Joe sputters out, with wide eyes.

"Do you want to make out with me?" You repeated slowly to give him more time to comprehend every word.

"Um—" Joe begins to say before pausing he didn't know how to respond.

"It's fine if you don't want to, no pressure." You shrug as if wouldn't faze you if he agrees or not. But deep down you eagerly wanted to release some of the sexual frustration that's been pent up for weeks without Tyler and Joe seems like the perfect candidate.

Joe shuffles his feet. "You want to make out in here?"

"That's kinda the main point of this game." You giggle, watching him pinch his lips." You never played Seven Minutes in Heaven?"

"No, I thought we were just going to talk." He chuckles nervously his eyes crinkled at the corners. Your mouth opened to assure him that you both can simply talk if that is what he feels comfortable with. Before you can let out another word he speaks again. "But I do want to kiss you if that's okay?"

"Go for it." You tell him, subtly running your tongue over your bottom lip and tasting the pink strawberry lip gloss you applied earlier.

Joe's hands fidget nervously by his sides, and his eyes keep flickering to your puffy lips. You can tell he's nervous, but it's kind of endearing. You almost started to wonder if he's ever kissed anyone before. Gradually, he leans in closer, his breath hot on your nose and cheeks. You can feel his heart racing, and it makes your pulse quicken. His perfect proportion lips glisten after his tongue swipes over them when your arm reaches up to curl the back of his head pulling him down to your height. It was a little awkward with Joe having to crane his neck downwards. As your lips meet, you were met with the softness of his lips, it wasn't shocking in any way since you knew just by gazing at them you were going to feel satisfied.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds with you being the one who pulled away. You notice his hands were awkwardly by his side as if he didn't know what to do with them. A breathless chuckle left your lips at his tense posture.

"What's funny?" He asks looking down at you with a worried look.

"You just need to relax." You say, reassuring, with a smile. You took your thumb to wipe away the pink gloss you left on his lip before slowly trailing both hands down his long arms to grasp his hands which feel a little clammy. Without breaking eye contact you guide his hands toward your lower waist. "Is this okay?"

Joe finds himself completely lost in your grasp, unable to ignore his hand placement. This was more than okay, there's a certain look in his eye that says, "I want more," and you suddenly realize Joe is a bit different than the shy, quiet-spoken guy you met an hour ago. His hands travel down further until both rest on your backside a surprised gasp left you when he yanks you more into him before attaching his lips to yours. This time his kiss held more confidence, and your lips worked together perfectly, he clearly knew what he was doing this go around and you loved it.

The large fingers of his hand splay over your plush cheeks that protrude from your leotard as he gives it a firm pinch, which makes you gasp again in shock, he takes this opportunity to slide his tongue between your lips and gently massage it as he does so. He begins to turn you both around. Resulting in your back coming in contact with the door. There Joe becomes more feral, his tongue prodded between your parted lips, teeth biting on your lips firmly. It was dizzying mostly because it's been a minute since you've had some air so you broke away. He didn't mind it though because he began to continue his kiss on your cheek down to your neck.

He's truly taking you by surprise, when you walked into this you thought it'll be you who take control. However, right now Joe is showing absolutely no restraint. And you love it. You can tell he's a man who appears reserved, but there is something lurking beneath the surface, a wildness you feel but not quite make out. A primal desire you know is there.

"You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do this with you." He said in between kisses on the slope of your shoulder and neck.

"Really?" A breathless moan escapes from you, wondering how the hell was that possible when tonight was the first time you guys had a proper introduction to each other.

He must follow you on Instagram. You got quite a following on there plus that's where most guys see you at anyway along with parties which you knew most likely he don't attend.

"Mm-hm," He hums as his hands settle on the curve of your backside, inhaling sharply when your hips rub against the hardness that pokes through his jeans.

It wasn't until he lifted one of your legs to curve around the waist that you realized the problem he had, too caught up in the feel of his lips biting and sucking on your neck. You giggle at the tickling sensation as he continued to hold your leg around him snugly.

He mumbles something incoherent due to the fact his face is nuzzled at your neck, then he lifted your other leg up so now both your legs are wrapped around his waist. A squeal left you at being suddenly lifted off the ground, it didn't take long for a blush to bloom and spreads throughout your entire body as he holds your more firmly. His arms are so strong and his mouth is back pressed on yours. While his hands cup your backside holding you against the door.

Your arms were clinging around his shoulders as he nibbles on your bottom lip softly biting into it before running his tongue over it.

An intense thrill runs through your body as a result of the sensation. As his heart races, so does yours, and you both feel it. It's such pure and absolute bliss that you can almost forget that there's a whole world out there. You just want to stay in this moment forever. As you cling to each other, locked in an embrace and lost in this moment, you feel completely and utterly connected. You've never experienced this feeling before not even with Tyler.

You don't know how long this make-out session was and you're pretty sure it was well over seven minutes. You weren't complaining though because you were just about to give this man something he wouldn't forget. Just as you were about untangle your legs from his waist a loud knock made you both jump.

He pulls back, his breath heavy, and his hands holding you gently. You dropped down to your feet just as the door swing open revealing Sam and Cato along with everyone else who was on the deck excluding Nick looking at you two with amusement.

"Had fun?" Sam grins, his eyes dancing back and forth between you and Joe.

You smile and chuckle at his question. "That's an understatement." you reply feeling a chill on your neck due to the wetness Joe's mouth left. As you stepped out the closet Cato looks at you with a "tell me everything" look.

"Give me all the details when we get to the car." Cato said quietly to you pulling you toward the stairs.

Turning your head to look at Joe you weren't surprise to see him standing there with a deep redness on his cheeks while his lips were coated with your lip gloss as the guys crowd around him letting out loud whistles and whoops. His eyes connect with your as you walk away, you called out

"I look forward to our next tutor date."

Joe's mind is racing as you disappear. But a smile spreads across his face, as you just confirmed everything he had just hoped.

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#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow x black reader #joe burrow x y/n #joe burrow fanfic

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