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#but this is helping lowkey and i think that's saying something
valewosomtb · 16 hours
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not a burden|| a. Putellas × platonic!reader
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warnings: literally none
a/n: Lowkey wrote this based on some personal experience and just had to get it out off my system, love the fear of missing out🤪
You always felt like a second choice. Like you were always there just when some of your so-called friends didn't have anyone else to hang out with. But that is also what your love life, or whatever you should call it since there's not even L from your love life in existence, looked like.
When you find someone you like or you're just attracted to, and you try to pursue it to see where the things go, you somehow end up being heartbroken because that person has someone else or they just haven't gotten over their ex OR you're just a distraction. In the most of the cases, you were just a distraction.
It happened too many times you thought it was a reason you were scared of commitment. That was also a reason why you were scared of opening up to people when you just KNOW they're gonna use it against you or just use you.
Another problem was, that you were a people pleaser. You'd always put someone else's happiness before yours. Even if it killed you. As long as you got to please someone.
Everyone on the team knew your fun, smiley, chaotic, spontaneous side. Almost no one knew the real you. You were always the one to make everyone laugh with your incredibly bad jokes or dumb ideas you always came up with. Even after a bad game, you were the one who would try to cheer everyone up and motivate them.
You were closest to Alexia and Keira. Keira helped you when you signed with Barça and Alexia took you under her wing when she saw how adorable you were the first time when you met her and were a big stuttering mess since she was your idol for a long time.
From time to time, you get into your head. There are some periods when you do nothing but overthink everything. From your performances on training or in the game, to just your relationships with everyone around you.
Everyone told you that you were a very likable person and that there can't be many people who don't like you. You strongly disagreed with that statement.
Especially, in this period when you can't help but think about your relationships in the team.
It was another day, another training, you woke up early in the morning like every other morning, had a little breakfast, and went for a 3-mile run. You just loved running it made your mind clean and easy, and your thoughts stopped running as your legs started. This was the only time you felt happy with yourself.
After you finished, your legs burned but you couldn't care less. You got a quick shower and then got ready for the main training of the day. As you were driving to the stadium the overthinking got louder. All you could think about was do you actually belonged there and do others wanted you there.
You were the first one there, as usual, you were thankful for that. You were walking slowly towards the locker room, when you got there you just sat there and stared at the wall across from you. Just sitting there, overthinking, you were so deep in your thoughts that you didn't even realize that the locker room was already full.
You quickly wiped the tear from your cheek and continued to get ready as everyone else. As you were getting ready to go out on the field, you realized that no one greeted you, like you weren't even there. That just confirmed your overthinking… no one cared about you.
What you didn't think about was that your cubby was far from others and that everyone else greeted you, you just didn't hear because you were spaced out.
Another thing that confirmed your overthinking was when you heard everyone else talking about some kind of team building that supposedly happened yesterday. This was the first time you heard something about that. Did they forget to invite you?
„I can't believe you did that! You and Mapi need to stop challenging each other.“ You heard Lucy say. The fear of missing out was triggering slowly.
„You're right about that, I think it's time for us to stop with that bullshit, “ Patri said with a laugh following, „What I'm more surprised about was that Alexia let us do it at her place!“
Alexia's place? Alexia hosted the team building night. And she forgot to invite you? Or she just didn't want you there and that's why she didn't invite you?
Your head started to spin. You quickly rushed to the bathroom, sat down on a toilet, and tried to calm down. It must've been a misunderstanding of some kind. Right?
You tried to convince yourself. You haven't heard from Alexia in a while, since she was still out because of the small injury. Maybe she got bored of you, she didn't want some stupid 20-year-old bothering her all the fucking time. Your head was just getting worse.
When you managed to calm down, you walked back to the locker room you saw that you were the last one there.
After a long day you had, you finally arrived home, you got into your apartment, locked your doors, and just left your training bag on the floor next to the door. You were too emotionally drained to go shower and too tired to go to the bedroom you found your couch and just laid down and just….stared at the ceiling.
At some point in the day, you fell asleep. You woke up the next day, and you were still too tired to move, you just sent a text to Jona that you weren't feeling well and that you wouldn't be attending training today. But you also realized that you didn't get any messages from anyone, literally nobody texted you. No one needed you.
You threw the phone away and continued with what you know best. Overthinking.
As you were just laying there, silent crying, the tears were just flowing out of your eyes, and you realized something.
YOU were the one who always checked up on others when they were missing from training. YOU were always the first one to text someone when you were planning something. YOU were always the one to make sure everyone got home safe after a night out.
That's right there.
That right there was what you kids these days call, your last straw. Your thirteenth reason.
At the Barça's training grounds, Alexia finally got back to train with the team, and she was really happy and excited about it. She greeted everyone on the way to the locked room. When she walked into the locker room, everyone cheered, like the queen just walked in…which she is.
The first question she asked was „Where's y/n?“ that made everyone look around and see that you indeed weren't there.
„Oh, shit, I knew that something was missing here, “Lucy said. After that everyone got on the field and Jona said that you weren't feeling well. Everyone just nodded with understanding but Alexia didn't buy it. Something wasn't right. You never miss training, even when you don't feel good.
At your apartment, you made progress... you went from the couch to the floor, since you always loved laying or sitting on the floor because it was comfortable. Still thinking how you're worthless and that no one wants you to be here. You finally took your phone and scrolled through social media, where were all the photos and videos posted from the team hangout. You saw how much fun they had... without you.
They were better off…without you.
You were a burden.
You saw the recent stories that everyone posted. Even Alexia. But still not one message.
The training finished and Alexia drove straight to your apartment. Fortunately, it wasn't far from the training grounds or her apartment, so she arrived pretty fast.
She walked up to the door and knocked. No answer. That made her knock a little louder.
„Y/n, please open up I know you can hear me.“ Alexia begged.
The knocking and the yelling made you snap out of it. You stood up and slowly walked to the door. You opened them but not fully.
„What are you doing here, Alexia?“ you asked tiredly. You didn't know how to feel about this visit.
„Um, are you gonna let me in or will I have to let myself in?“ she asked with a raised eyebrow.
You just sighed and moved to open the doors fully and let her in. When she walked in, she took a look around your place and then turned back to you and actually at your appearance.
„Are you okay? Are you sick? What's the matter?“ she asked with all seriousness. Every person who looks into her eyes can see that she cares, but not your eyes or your head.
„Why do you care?“ you said with a scoff and walked towards the living room.
That comment made Alexia confused. Why wouldn't she care?
„Of course, I care. You never miss a training even when you're not feeling well, you would attend a training. Even though I sometimes disagree with that you're stubborn“
„Sure you do.“
„Y/n, what is this about? Why are you acting like this?“
„ACTING LIKE WHAT, ALEXIA? Tell me, acting like fucking what?!“ you threw it at her. It took her by surprise, she didn't expect this from you.
„Don't yell at me! I'm your captain, and I ne- „
Of course, Alexia fucking Putellas!! Captain of FC Barcelona. Only cares about her team and the reputation of her team and that HER team makes HER look good in front of everyone else. She's always „busy“ with, so-called captain duties, that she can't even text me, or answer her phone when I call her. ESPECIALLY WHEN I NEED HER THE MOST!!“ you were just spitting everything out. It made you feel good. You couldn't stop, for once you made yourself feel better.
„ I'm so fucking tired Alexia…Why am I such a burden to you? Do you not like me or something? What did I do to you that made you hate me so fucking much? If I bother you so much, you should just tell me. Also, the whole fucking team hates me. I thought that for once I could say that I belonged somewhere, but no. I'm always the second choice or the third most of the time the last choice. No one wants me in this team…I'm a terrible player, I'll never be like you or Mariona or Caro.“ You broke totally. You started to sob. Alexia couldn't watch you like this, she wanted to help you and the first thing she thought of was to pull you in the biggest hug.
When you felt her arms around you, you broke down completely. She held you for a good while, her shirt stained from your tears, she couldn't care less.
You finally stopped shaking and calmed down. When you you were ready, Alexia pulled away but not totally. She put her hands on your shoulders and made you look at her, so you hear her out.
„First of all, I want to apologize for not checking up on you more often, especially now since I understand you're having a hard time. I would also like to apologize for not answering your calls but I have really been busy and I was planning on calling you back I just forgot. Second of all, if I ever hear you talk like that about yourself I'll personally kick your ass,“ as she was telling you this, you finally managed to look at her. You saw her eyes a little glassed because of her tears.
„I see you as my little sister, you're not a burden, y/n. And I want you to remember that. I don't know what made you think that but I'm sorry if I made you feel like that. And also if you want I can talk to the team about that but I can tell you for sure that everyone adores you.“ You listened to her and tried to trust the words that she was saying but your head was a little louder.
„ And I also wanted to say, you'll never be like Mariona, Caro, or me. You'll be way better than us combined, especially if you continue to work as hard as you do now. I idolize your hard-working habits.“ She finished her speech. And you believed her. For once, you think you have someone who will hear you out when you have this kind of episode.
„Do you mean that?“ you asked her hesitantly.
„Yes, I do. And when next time you feel like this, I want you to come to me. Even if I'm busy, I'll make time for you.“ She said and gave you a small smile.
You smiled back at her and pulled her in a hug. You needed one after a few very emotional days.
„Now, will you tell me what made you feel this way?“ she said while pulling away.
You rubbed your neck nervously while trying to form a normal sentence.
„Well, um, I sometimes have these episodes when I get really into my head and just think little of myself. Also, some events from my past just encourage those episodes to come out. And also when I saw some pictures online from the other day from your place…it just made it worse“ you told her.
„Okay, when another episode of this is about to come out, let me know. And what do you mean the picture from my place?“
„Well I heard that there was some kind of a team hangout at your place and I wasn't invited and my fear of missing out was getting the best of me…it made my episode worse“
„Ooh that hangout out“Alexia chuckled after that „It wasn't a real hang out, it was kinda spontaneous because my sister got engaged and she's friends with most of my teammates so we just celebrated at my place.“
You face palmed yourself. Alexia just laughed at you. You couldn't believe yourself right now.
„ It's alright, hermanita. Don't be so hard on yourself“ Alexia tried to comfort you.
„Thank you, Ale. So much, and I'm sorry for bothering you with my shit..again“
„Don't have to thank me, just score my goals for my team so it makes me look good as captain in front of everyone“ she teased you.
„oh god, I don't know how that came out of my mouth, I'm so sorry“ you apologized.
Alexia just laughed at your, „You don't have to say sorry for everything, it's okay you were emotional and you needed to take it out on someone“
You were thankful that Alexia was this understanding. Younger you wouldn't believe you if you told her that you're crying in front of Alexia Putellas and she's comforting you.
„If you don't mind me asking. What exactly happened in the past that made it so bad?“ she asked with a curious look
„If I start now I won't stop until tomorrow. It's a long story“
„Oh, would you look at that I'm free today. So start from the beginning.“
And so you did. You told her everything, from A to Z. You finally opened up to someone after a long time. And it felt good. It made it easier because Alexia was call, patient, and understanding. After that you were more open with everyone and communicated way more than before.
But if it weren't for Alexia, you'd probably be still lying on that floor and staring at the ceiling.
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jujutsubaby · 3 days
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🫧 skin care daddy 🫧
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☆ pairing: satoru gojo x afab!reader ☆ summary: your skin's been breaking out recently and you're stressed at work and you have your sister's wedding to attend in a week. according to the internet, this is the best spa in town, and you're lowkey desperate at this point...it can't be that bad right? ☆ tags: modern au ☆ warnings: penetrative sex, unprotected sex, oral sex (f!recieving), facial, dirty talk, fingering, flicking the bean?? idk ☆ a/n: guys i swear i am cooking in the kitchen with the asks from my follower event AND other shit OK!! sorry for the wait on everything but here is a little crumb bc i love u all!! i was feeling unhinged bc i saw two things: 1) a spa called skin care daddy and 2) a post or one shot where the reader got a facial from gojo and it cleared her skin. idk i just felt inspired to make this bc it felt the universe was asking me to. not proofread some plot with corn u know the vibes babes xx ☆ word count: 7k+
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"sorry, we're all booked for this weekend and the next. we usually recommend that our customers book 3 weeks in advance for our services at the ritz carlton luxury spa." the lady on the other end of the line was objectively speaking very politely, but you were far too frustrated with your situation to notice.
"great, yeah, no, thanks." you say quickly, hanging up the phone and groaning into your pillow.
"no luck at the ritz?" you turn to face your best friend, nobara.
"they're all booked, what a surprise!" you say sarcastically, your voice still slightly muffled by the pillow.
"i mean, c'mon, y/n. your face is not that bad..." nobara tries and deeply fails to comfort you, making you chuckle half heartedly.
you get up from your bed and walk over to the full body mirror of your closet in order to get up close and personal with your face. your fingers stretch on the skin around your breakouts as you study them with determination, as if just willing them to be gone will do the trick. it doesn't.
"it's bad enough that all the aunties will say something snarky to me all day."
you're usually one to always follow through on your skincare routine, am and pm, and watch what you eat carefully so that you don't get breakouts. but you recently went through a rough patch (read: a hellish period) and your face took the brunt of the damage. it wasn't your fault you were having massive cramps and craved hot cheetos the entire week (it was so worth it) but now, a week before your sister's wedding, you're facing the consequences.
you sigh. the ritz was the fifth place you guys called that didn't have any space for an all day facial, but you couldn't run out of hope. back to the drawing board.
you open up your laptop and get back to searching on google maps, as nobara does the same thing. you're grateful she's helping you out during your, albeit, dumb crisis, but what are girl friendships for? a spa you've never heard of before suddenly catches your eye and you zoom in. skin care daddy? you read the finer print underneath it. best day spa in tokyo.
you snort. best day spa in tokyo my ass. if it really was the best day spa in tokyo, why have you never heard of it?
nobara laughs, almost on cue. "wait, dude, are you seeing this spa?" she turns her phone around and you see she's also looking at skin care daddy. "this has to be a joke, right? no way would they be allowed to open up a spa named that, right?"
"ohmygod, i was just looking at that!" you say excitedly. "it literally sounds like a sex bot made it for unsuspecting horny losers to click on and get like, a crazy virus." you both laugh at how ridiculous this place sounds.
nobara's laugh almost abruptly stops as she scrolls down the place. "wait, stop. this place has like...over ten thousand reviews and a 4.9 star rating..."
you immediately click on the place and take a closer look at the reviews and ratings and see she's right. "i don't think i've ever seen a place have this many reviews with consistent ratings?" your brows scrunch as you read aloud some of the top reviews.
"this spa has given me the some of the best facials of my life. i always come to this spa whenever i'm in the area, and the people working there are obsessed with taking care of their customers. 10/10" you're baffled by the review sounding so...weird but you think nothing of it. you make a mental note that you are kinda desperately looking for a miracle facial to help with your breakouts, so maybe you shouldn't count this place out just yet.
nobara half heartedly scoffs as she reads the next one. "i've had chronic acne and back pain for years until i saw someone from here who made me feel soo good. you'll be coming here all the time once you go. maybe even multiple times a day."
"how good can this place be if you have to go multiple times to make sure your spa treatment worked?" you say, rolling your eyes at these reviews. "these can't be real right?"
"they sound incentivized or like someone paid them to write it or somethin'" nobara surmises.
"maybe it's a cult or something," you say, causing both of you to double over in laughter.
"a cult disguised as a spa is a bit too insane, even for tokyo." nobara says as she scrolls through and skims more reviews. "aren't you looking for a facial anyway? everyone's saying they're really good here...you know...despite the..." she gestures with her hands the reviews on her phone.
"ugh, am i for real that desperate for clear skin that i'm willing to go to a shady ass day spa?" you roll on to your back on your bed and stare at the ceiling, contemplating.
"can't be that shady if it's ten thousand reviews. say what you want but that's a lot of reviews to pay money for."
nobara has a point. you grab your laptop and try to look for a link to their website and see they don't have a website. interesting. not a red flag but just interesting. maybe i have to call for bookings? you search for a phone number, but fail to find one.
"wait, are you able to find any contact for this spa?" you ask noabra and you see her squinting her eyes at the phone.
"no i wasn't but i saw a review that basically said this spa is a walk-in type of deal?"
"it's a walk-in but has thousands of reviews? how does that even work? people are probably waiting years in line to get in?"
"dunno," nobara shrugs, and puts her phone back in her pocket. "maybe it's like a 'if-you-know-you-know' type of thing so it's like popular through word of mouth of somethin'"
damn. even more shady, then. you chew on your lip and stare at the ceiling again, trying to imagine all the things your aunties will say to you at the wedding.
"27 and still unmarried? shame."
"oh, you really need to watch your diet, the breakouts will never go away otherwise."
"clear skin is the first step to find a man who will desire you, y/n."
you feel like your skin is burning thinking about the so-called "advice" you're likely to receive at the wedding. normally you wouldn't care, but your hormones have been kind of out of wack with the new birth control you started recently, and you're not sure if you can really take any form of bullshit other than your sister's this weekend.
your thoughts are interrupted by nobara getting up from your chair. "alright, i'm off to work. need a ride to skin care daddy?"
"yeah, actually," you say as you slowly get out of your bed and change our of your pajamas.
"wait, what?!" nobara says with wide eyes. "i was actually joking when i said that. are you seriously gonna go? y/n, i dunno about this one..."
"c'mon! it's like you said, it's weird but it's not necessarily shady..." you say, mostly trying to convince yourself as you put on a pair of your favorite lazy girl black flared yoga pants.
nobara seems to consider it for a moment before responding. "kay, fine. but if i take you there and it's some abandoned warehouse-"
"then we'll drive away. no way in hell i'm about to die for this place." you assure nobara, putting her at ease.
you quickly don a thrifted gray hoodie and put your hair up in a messy bun. you don't care to put on any makeup, since you're probably gonna have to take it off anyway. if the day spa isn't shady and in an abandoned warehouse.
you quickly grab your keys and wallet before gesturing to nobara to leave. she sighs, looking at her phone one more time.
"fuck it, let's go before i change my mind."
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"okay it says it's just right around the corn-"
"OH MY GOD?!" you're unable to hold back your disbelief as nobara took the corner to, what you think, might the chicest and prettiest boutique you've ever laid eyes on. the front was adorned with a gorgeous light blue awning with european style bell-shaped pendant lights making it almost glow during the day time.
"what the hell...ain't no way..." noabra is at a loss for words for how fancy it looks. "they have the money to rent out a place like this but no website?"
"or have a phone number." you mumble as you open nobara's car door. you turn around and give her a quick wave. she tells you to give her a call and tell her how it is after and you promise to do so. as nobara drives off, all the skepticism evaporates from your body looking at the dainty and cute decor all over the place.
you walk in to a fairly large lobby, with a desk in the middle and waiting chairs surrounding it. the calming scent of lavender, green tea, and patchouli hits your nose, and your guard immediately drops; the aroma relaxes you almost instantly.
you look around and are surprised to see only two other women in the waiting chairs on their phone. one of them seemed older, kind of like a mother, and the other seemed to be your age, but far more demure.
"hey, there! welcome to skin care daddy! we're determined to take care of you all your needs, no matter what! how can i help you today?" your head whips around to the guy sitting at the reception desk, and you feel a bit embarrassed; he must've noticed how lost you looked here, and you force yourself to straighten up and regain your composure as you slowly walk to the front desk. you take a closer at the guy with shaggy black hair sitting in the chair in front of you.
"hi..." you squint to see the faint print on his name badge. "yuta".
"yup! that's me!" he chirps. you know he probably has to exaggerate his good mood for the sake of the job but it kind of irks you. "what can i do for you today, miss?"
"yeah, uhh...what services do you guys offer? i tried looking online but you guys didn't have a website and..." your wandering eyes can't help but look around skeptically around the front desk and the doors on either side of the lobby.
"well, we offer whatever you need, miss. just tell us what you're looking for and we'll have it. i guarantee it."
"okay, well. my sister's getting married next weekend and..." you gesture to your face. "my life has been all sorts of stressful and hormonal so honestly, i'm just looking for something that can help me feel refreshed-"
you're interrupted by someone entering in from the right side of the lobby door. it's a woman who, you must say, looks glowing. her skin is bright and she quite looks like she's almost levitating. guiding her out of the spa is a young man, around your age, with blond hair and round glasses. he's unbelievably built, with strong hands rubbing her back softly and a chiseled jaw. he's wearing what you think is the uniform of this place: white dress shirt with the top two buttons undone and black slacks.
your breath gets caught in your throat momentarily. no fucking way. this guy works here? he's so fucking...hot. you have to force your eyes to tear away from him as you try your hardest to focus back on your conversation with yuta.
yuta chuckles as he follows your gaze. "ah, yes, mr. nanami is a customer favorite esthetician here. anyway, seems like you're going through a rough time and you came to the perfect place! normally, i would recommend the oxygen facial, but since you said you have a wedding..." yuta types something on the computer for a bit. "personally, i would recommend the full body tokyo special."
you're not entirely what an oxygen facial is, nor what the tokyo special is, and you feel even more stupid asking this guy who seems to be in college for more information.
"um, sorry, what's a full body tokyo special? i think i just need a really good facial."
"oh no worries, miss. i apologize. the full body tokyo special consists of a hands-on full body aromatherapy massage and our famous milkbomb facial, which'll do wonders for your skin." he winks at you. why did he wink at you?
you're unable to think about whether or not you even wanna do anything here when a group of men barge in through the left door of the lobby, laughing loudly, before lowering their voices.
one of the men is a dark haired man, seemingly a little older than the other two and yourself, but also very much ripped just like mr. nanami. you tried not to stare at the skin tight black shirt he wore that attenuated his pecs but miserably failed. he took the quickest glance at you and gave the faintest smile, revealing a slight scar on the left side of his lip. a scar that makes him sexier? you've gotta be kidding me. you follow his gaze to the older woman you saw sitting here when you came in, who know looks completely enamored by the man.
"there's my favorite mama," the man coos, holding an arm out for her as she skipped to him. he leads her to the other door, and you could hear them giggling and talking, as if this wasn't the first time they've seen each other.
"aight, see ya later, man." the other dark haired man said to his friend, before making eye contact with you, and then giving a slight smirk to yuta. he heads straight to the demure girl you saw when you walked in, and holds his hand out to her and she blushes and grabs it.
"th-thanks for seeing me again, geto-san." the girl says so softly that you have to strain your ears to listen.
"i told you to call me suguru..." you hear him joke as they disappear behind the door.
"like what you see?" you turn your head to the last guy, who now is far too close for your liking. you take a small step back, which makes him chuckle.
"yuta-kun! who do we have here?" the man asks boisterously. despite being indoors, he's wearing dark circled sunglasses. what a douche.
"oh, hey gojo-sensei. this is..." yuta looks at you, waiting for you to say your name.
"y/n." you say a bit too late, still trying to process the barrage of attractive men that just showed up all at once and what they had to do with the spa.
yuta starts filling in the man about what you were looking for, as you take in the man who's intently listening to him. he has white hair, and is wearing the same uniform as mr. nanami was, with three buttons undone and his hair slightly disheveled. he's also really tall. like really tall. like he towers over you easily tall. but also, just as well built like everyone else.
what is this place? you knew men could work in salons and parlors and spas, but this place seemed to be exclusively run by them. and not just any men, really attractive men. and what's worse is that you were not complaining. sure, it's a bit weird but there's really no other choice for you at this point.
"ahh, the tokyo special, huh?" he says, turning at you and giving you a bright smile which you suspect he gives to everyone who comes in here. "nice choice."
"he's the one who chose it, and i'm not even sure if i want it." you say, pointing to yuta, and trying your hardest to stand your ground. you have to really make sure this spa treatment is actually gonna help and not just a scam for your money.
"well, he chose right. i've never seen you here before, so you must be new here, right?" you nod, suddenly feeling really small and embarrassed about your attitude before. god, you're never one to behave badly in front of service workers. the hormones are really doing a number on your mood. maybe you could benefit from this "tokyo special".
he leans down to meet your eyes and takes off his sunglasses, and you’re face to face with the most gorgeous ocean blue eyes you've ever seen. through an almost hypnotic effect, you feel much calmer than you did before, and more trusting of him. "well, lucky for you, i've got an opening right now. i'll help you feel right at home." he gives you a wink, and you can't help but feel there's some other hidden meaning behind what he says.
"umm...well..." you say, holding on to the thin strings of your resolve.
"gojo-sensei is the best masseuse and esthetician here, especially for first timers like yourself, miss y/n. i guarantee you'll leave the establishment more than satisfied with his work." yuta assures you with a smile.
and with that, your resolve completely dissolves and you nod and hand him your credit card and he takes the information. gojo touches the small of your back ever so slightly, and you hope he doesn't feel you shiver at his touch.
"he just loves kissing up to me so he can get a full time job here after college. i'm his favorite cousin, after all." he says, making you giggle as you walk through the two panel doors into the spa.
"thanks for taking me in during your opening, mr. gojo." you say politely, feeling grateful as he leads you down the corridor of the neat, clean, and minimally decorated hallway.
"i think you're gonna be the one taking me in," gojo mumbles under his breath while opening the door to a room that looked like a doctor's office. a single lavender massage table greets you with small cabinets on either side.
you're unable to catch what he said. "what? did you say something?"
"i said call me satoru. no need to get so formal with me, i'm just some dude who works here." he chuckles. he locks the door as you sit up on the massage table awkwardly, unsure of how you should be positioning yourself or what exactly he was planning.
gojo goes to the corner and pulls out a fluffy white bathrobe and hands it to you. you're blown away by how soft it feels in your hands -- luxury at it's finest, you guess.
"okay, i just have a quick questionnaire i need you to fill out, probably will take around a minute," he says, as he grabs a clipboard with a pen attached to it from another drawer and takes a seat on a padded lab stool. he rolls closer to you until his long slender legs are almost touching your calves.
"alrighty here...okay, first question…” the questions gojo reads off are normal enough, with various clauses consenting to the spa treatment, confirming your age, and so forth. they don’t start getting weird until later. “ok last three, we’re almost done.” you notice a shit-eating grin on his face as he scribbles your answer to the previous question. “okay, are you a virgin?”
“what?!” 
“are you a virg-”
“i heard you the first time. what kinda question is that? that’s so invasive, what the hell are you play-” you’re ready to give an entire speech to this guy about how inappropriate and irrelevant the question is. 
“it’s fine if you don’t wanna answer it, i just can’t continue the treatment if you don’t.” gojo says this so simply and nonchalantly, as if the question was about your favorite color, and not an intimate detail about your sexuality. 
“okay, fine. not a virgin.” you cross your hands in irritation. 
“not…a...virgin…” you hear him say under his breath as he scribbles something you cannot see on his clipboard. you try leaning forward to see what he’s writing (and if there really was a question like that on the questionnaire but he quickly pulls it closer to his chest, giving you a teasing smirk. “are you on birth control?”
“y-yes?” 
“good to know. last question: got any STDs i need to know about?”
oh, for fuck’s sake. this is ridiculous. does he think you’ve never been to a spa before? the usual thai place you go to never asks this many questions. “do you have any STDs i need to worry about? what is this? 20 questions?”
“you can ask them to me back, i’d be happy to answer them.” he says calmly with a coy smile. “in fact, i’ll answer them right now. no, no, and no.”
you sign in defeat. “no for me too.” maybe this is what happens when a place has like, ten thousand 5 star reviews on google maps. they just ask the weirdest questions. there’s a small voice berating yourself for folding so easily regarding his questions, but whatever. you’re ready to get this treatment over with. 
“okay, take off all your clothes and wear the bathrobe. do you want me to step outside?”
what the hell kinda question is that? of course, he’s supposed to step outside? “um, yeah?” you say it almost obviously, not feeling bad about the attitude that’s coming out of you. 
gojo raises his hand in surrender. “sorry, just askin’...” he grabs his clipboard and steps out of the room, saying he’ll be back in five minutes for the warm up massage. you quickly undress yourself. you have a feeling he’s the type to come in within seconds of knocking on the door without checking to see if you’re decent. you’re unsure where to place your clothes other than the table next to the cabinet so you neatly fold them, hiding your underwear and bra within the folds of your yoga pants and sweatshirt. 
just as promised, gojo shows up five minutes later with one knock before welcoming himself in. he’s holding a dark colored glass bottle filled with a calming essential oil for massaging, and turns on the diffuser in the room. 
“thanks for undressing,” he says, looking at the neatly folded pile of clothes on the counter. “alright, here’s how this is gonna go. i’m gonna give you a nice full body massage to loosen your muscles up, and then we do the facial last, sound good, princess?” 
your skin tingles at him calling you that nickname, but you ignore it. there’s no way i can let my mind wander like that when he’s giving me a massage. you nod your head in agreement, and lay on your back slowly, fidgeting with the ends of  your bathrobe so that you’re not totally exposed to him. gojo slowly hovers his hands over you and lightly touches your stomach, patting it to get your attention, but it causes you suck in a breath a bit too loudly. 
“gotta go on your stomach for me for this one,” he says, urging you to flip around. “gonna undo this, okay?” he tugs at the knot you made on your bathrobe and you nod. he slowly undoes it, and you feel exposed as your breasts peek out through the sides. you cross your legs almost immediately, feeling incredibly exposed in front of a fully clothed gojo. 
you quickly turn on your stomach before he has a chance to take in your body. you feel his cold fingers slowly expose your back, as he stops right before the hump of your ass. you hear him squeezing out some of the oil and warming it up in his hands as he gets to work on your back. 
you suck in a sharp breath between your teeth as his cold fingers explore the knots on your back. 
“cold isn’t it? you’ll get used to my fingers, promise,” he says sweetly, as he hits a spot on your back that’s been particularly bothering you as of late. it’s too late when you let out a moan, and you hear him chuckle. “hit the right spot, didn’t i?”
he continues to undo the knot on your back, and moan back a breathy affirmation as you continue to try (and fail) to hold back your noises. “f-fuck, gojo, that feels s-so good…” you say in between his movements. 
you feel his hot breath in your ear. “told ya to call me satoru, don’t forget it next time, princess.” this time, the nickname goes straight to your pussy. it’s hard to cross your legs when you’re on your stomach and feeling delirious with the pleasure that came from the pressure of his slender fingers. 
unbeknownst you, your soft moans are slowly making their way down to gojo’s member, as he gets harder by the second. he doesn’t want to make it so obvious just yet – he’s just getting start after all. he can’t just blow his load this close into the session, but you’re sure as hell giving him a run for his money. 
“feel good?” you moan in response. gojo slowly inches his fingers down closer and closer to your ass, until it reaches the hem of your bathrobe covering it. “gonna move this down so i can do your legs, yeah?”
gojo will admit, he was a bit too excited to see your ass as he removed your bathrobe down before you could give a proper “yes” but it didn’t matter when you’re soft breaths were giving him the answer he needed. it takes everything in him to not knead the rounds of your perfect ass (he swears your cheeks were made for his hands) and move straight to your calves. 
he slowly massages the soles of your feet and calves with the oil as he moves closer to your thighs, all while relishing in your sweet moans. once he’s at your thighs, the real fun begins. gojo knows this routine like the back of his hands. 
you hear him sigh in confusion. “is everything okay?” you turn your head slightly to see him. 
“sorry about this princess, but you’re gonna have to spread your legs a little bit for me. it’s hard to get every inch of you warmed up, otherwise.”
you obey him almost too easily, and shift your thighs so that there’s more room for him to touch with his fingers. gojo’s hands reach up to slightly cup your ass, before his thumbs slowly slide into your inner thigh, lightly massaging you.
your breaths are getting shallower and louder, and you pray he doesn't go any closer to your pussy so he doesn’t see how soaked you are. you’ve never had a massage like this before, but you also don’t want him to stop. 
gojo’s fingers play with the space of your inner thigh before he spreads you apart, exposing you. you breath catches in your throat, and he performs the next part of his act. 
“we’ve got a pretty unconventional way of massaging our clients, princess.” you hear his voice straining. “gotta make sure you’re relaxed everywhere, but you gotta let me take care of you. think you can do that? all you have to do is relax, and let daddy do everything for you.” you can hear the lust dripping from his voice, but to be honest, you couldn’t give a shit at this point. 
“y-yeah, please, satoru, whatever you want. please, i just…i just feel so good right now,” you say, your eyes shut tight, and your hips practically squirming under his touch. you think you might go insane if he doesn’t touch you there in the next second. 
hook, line, and sinker. who’s gojo to deny your request? he graduated top of his class at his cosmetology and esthetician university, after all. his fingers glide almost too easily between your folds as he starts playing with your throbbing core. he can feel how needy your pussy is for his hands as he spreads your slick all over your core. 
the pleasure immediately gets caught in the pillow that muffles your moans. fuck, so this is what all the reviews were talking about. you feel his fingertips dancing around your clit and you want to shout at him to pay attention to it. 
“s-satoru~ p-please…i need you right there…” you say in between your moans. 
“where? here?” gojo’s finger taps your clit lightly, and it makes your entire body twitch with pleasure. he has to press down on the small of your back to keep you place as his fingers rub circles around your bundle of nerves, making you whimper. you unconsciously grind your hips against his fingers, trying to get close to your release. 
“need a better angle. face down, ass up.” gojo commands, and your body conforms to his words. you prop your lower body up with your knees while your face is sideways against the head of the massage table. he uses this now better angle to really rub his fingers into your folds and bundle of nerves, sending electricity throughout your body. you feel the dam building up inside you and threatening to break. 
“satoru~ i’m-i’m getting c-close…ah~” you hands grip on to the sides of the massage table as you brace for the earth shattering orgasm to rip through you, and with gojo’s deft fingers, you’re on cloud nine in no time. 
your body slumps back down and your eyes roll back as the vibrations of your release still radiate through your body. you hear  your pulse pumping through your head as you try to catch you breath, but you feel gojo’s now warm hands flip you on your back, and his face inches from yours. 
“you took that so well, princess. we’re not done, yet. there’s still another part of your body that needs to warm up.” you don’t have time to process what he means as he inserts two fingers into his mouth and then deep inside your entrance. your gasp is muffled by his mouth connecting to yours, hard, teeth and all. his fingers are long, and they easily find your sensitive g-spot as they curl upwards and bully your internal bundle of nerves. it’s quite embarrassing how quickly you’re ready for another release, and how hungry your entrance was for his finger, practically sucking them in and clenching around them immediately. 
“f-fuck~ i’m about to-” you don’t get to finish your sentence, as another orgasm rips through your body. gojo kisses you again to block your moans, and your hands wrap around his neck to pull him even closer to you. he playfully bites on your lower lip as you ride out your release on his fingers. 
gojo’s kisses turn into soft quick pecks as your breathing steadies and your eyes can focus again. “we’re not done yet,” he teases, slowly taking his slick coated fingers out of you. 
you don’t even have the energy to respond back as he flips you on you back. through heavy eyes, you look back up at him, biting back a moan as he restarts rubbing circles on your extremely sensitive clit. he needs to take off his shirt and fuck you already. 
“need something?” gojo teases, sensing your neediness from just your eyes. 
“take off your shirt, dumbass.” you say through gritted teeth. 
“try again.” he presses harder on your clit, and you let out an unsanctioned yelp through your teeth. 
“f-fuck~ please take off your shirt, dumbass.”
he smiles. “well, if you insist…” he rolls his eyes, feigning inconvenience, but the slowly growing tent in his pants says otherwise. gojo unbuttons his shirt, revealing a perfectly sculpted torso. now this is just unfair. 
“geez, my eyes are up here.” he teases, smirking at you as you quickly meet his eyes and feel your face flush. he unbuckles his belt and you slowly sit up from the massage table. you’re overcome with the urge to touch him, everywhere. you hook your finger to the belt loop of his pants and pull him closer to you. 
gojo smirks as he wraps his arms around hips and leans down to kiss you deeply. you feel your core ache for his touch again as his tongue explores your mouth again. you trace his perfectly sculpted torso, the indents of his abs slightly sweaty to your touch. your hands slowly make their way to the zipper of his slacks, but gojo immediately grabs your wrist to stop you from taking them fully off. 
“not just yet…” he murmurs in between kisses. while his lips are still locked on you, he slowly pushes your body back on the massage table and starts kissing down your bare stomach, the measly bathrobe long since discarded somewhere on the floor. gojo leaves small wet kisses along your body until he reaches your inner thighs. 
you suck in a breath as you involuntarily spread your legs for him, earning an enthusiastic hum from gojo, who’s still continuing to leave a trail of kisses that are inching closer and closer to where you need his mouth to be the most. “p-please~” you moan, your eyes closed in bliss. 
“please what, princess? use your words,” gojo coos, coming face to face with your soaking wet core. he blows on the sensitive bundle of nerves, causing your legs to twitch.
you can’t stand his fucking teasing but you need to be eaten out, so bad. “f-fuck y-you, gojo~” you say, pushing your core up to his face, trying to aim for his mouth before he easily pushes your hips back on the table. you hear him tsk in disapproval, and tears welling up in your eyes in desperation. “please, your tongue…inside me…please~” you whimper weakly. 
“since you begged so nicely…” gojo says before he immediately plunges his tongue inside you, almost making you scream. his tongue expertly explores your folds and sucks on your clit, making you inadvertently grind on his face. “y’taste so delicious, princess,” he says between licks as he eats you out like it’s the last pussy on earth. 
his ministrations with his tongue has you teetering on the edge in record time, and you’re threatening to spill within minutes of him eating you out. as the third wave of pleasure washes over you, you don’t have the energy in you to ask for permission as you feel your body tingle in the aftermath of it. you think you made a mess all over the massage table and gojo’s face, but you don’t have it in you to care as your eyes roll back. 
you feel gojo unbuckle his belt and take off his slack and underwear, exposing his hard member in his hands. you can see the precum leaking out the tip as you weakly lean on your elbows to prop yourself up. 
“see, princess, all those questions did have a reason after all…” he says in between breaths as he strokes himself, looking at your naked glistening body. you spread your legs further in anticipation of feeling him. “but there you were, being such a fuckin’ brat about answering them…” gojo says, eyebrows furrowing as he brings his tip closer to your core and you bite your lip in anticipation. 
“guess you better fuck the attitude outta me, then?” you say, looking up at him through heavy lidded eyes filled with mindless lust. you don’t even care about the consequences or who hears or even if you get your facial – you just need him. every part of your body craved him. 
gojo wastes no time at your suggestion, his tip entering you as you let out a lecherous moan. you feel the initial pain of his larger than average member tearing your tight entrance apart, and bite back a moan. gojo grits his teeth as he lets out a steady throaty groan. 
“fuck, princess. so fuckin’ tight. sure you’re not a virgin?” 
“s’too much satoru, y-you’re huge…ahh~” 
“too bad, princess.” he says, surprising you as he starts thrusting agonizingly slowly into you, bottoming out and effectively reaching the sensitive spot inside you. pain slowly turns into pleasure as you indulge in the feeling of your g-spot getting kissed by his member – the spot that you can never reach by yourself using your own fingers.  
“f-faster, please~” you urge gojo, and he obliges almost immediately, quickening his pace. he bullies your sloppy and wet core, as he watches your titties bounce with every thrust. unlike most people his age, it’s times like this where gojo realizes he really fucking loves his job. 
he reaches out and gives your titties a rough squeeze while he remains unrelenting in his pace. he feels your pussy clench around him, and he knows you’re close, and if he’s being honest, so is he. but he cannot cum just yet, and definitely not before you do. gojo abandons your titties and slides down his fingers to your clit as he starts rubbing inelegant circles around it, getting you closer and closer to the edge. 
you feel the dam breaking once again as the combination of him rubbing and fucking you comes to a climax. the orgasm travels to every corner of your body, as you see stars in your vision while gojo fucks your brains out. you hold on to his shoulders to steady yourself. based on how sloppily gojo is getting, you can tell he’s about to get close, too. you’re about to brace for him to finish inside you, when he abruptly pulls out, earning him a confused look from you. 
“lay down,” he commands more than asks, as he hastily pushes your chest down on the massage table. your sweaty skin sticks to the faux leather, but you don’t pay attention as he moves to the side of your face, holding his soaked member near it. 
gojo starts stroking his throbbing leaking member sensually, and you innately open your mouth and stick your tongue out. so this is the facial? the dots connected in your head at the same time gojo’s ropes of warm cum decorated your face – chin, cheeks, mouth, and all. you hear gojo’s throaty groans as he finishes on you and make sure not a single drop that gets on or near mouth gets wasted, swallowing pridefully. 
gojo leans closer to your ear as he catches his breath from his climax. “that’s the milkbomb facial,” he says cheekily, and you can’t help but giggle. you both take a couple more seconds to catch your breath. you watch gojo as he puts on his pants and tucks in his shirt, looking like he didn’t just fuck the shit out of you. he runs his fingers through his hair quickly as he goes to the counter and pulls out a warm eucalyptus towel as he takes his time to gently wipe your face and body. 
“that was fun,” you murmur, looking at the ceiling, finally understanding what the reviews you read about this earlier place meant. you definitely came here, multiple times in one day for sure. 
gojo chuckles as he goes over to wash his hands and you notice his forearms are glistening with your release. “that’s why we’re the best spa out here, princess.”
you notice your legs shaking slightly, but you manage to hop off the massage table, slightly dazed. gojo notices and helps you get on your feet and put on your clothes. the entire activity is soft and gentle compared to how he was just a couple minutes before. 
everything that you both have done in the past hour finally dawns on you, and you suddenly feel very shy despite whatever the contrary happened on the massage table. it’s so awkward now, like, what do you guys even talk about now? does he do this to everyone? is this their entire schtick?
“do you…do this with all your clients?” you whisper to him as you follow him out into the hallway to the exit. you cross your hands tightly to your chest, as if it’s shrouding you from other people finding out what happened in the room behind you. 
“ah, i’m not one to kiss and tell.” gojo puts his hands in his pockets and glances back at you, giving you a quick wink as you follow behind him, trying to keep up with him as he turns corners.s
“oh, so you do do this everyone, huh?” you challenge, your shyness slowly melting away with gojo’s playful tone.. 
“did you enjoy it?”
a pause from you.. “yes.”
“then don’t worry about it, kitten.” gojo pauses before he opens the door and turns to you. “listen, i wouldn’t mind if you came here again for the tokyo special, you know. i’ll even give you a discount, too.” he says earnestly. 
you let out a giggle. “oh? a discount?”
“yeah, the tight pussy discount.”
“shut up!” you say, and you playfully smack his shoulder, and you both laugh. 
“so… is that a yes? i’ll see you next week?” 
you bite your lip. “maybe, i dunno.” you give him a wink before opening the door, and you both know fully well that you’ll be back on the massage table again in no time with gojo pounding into you. 
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needless to say, gojo wasn’t lying when he said they were the best spa in town because by the time your sister’s wedding came around, your face was quite literally glowing. 
“wow! y/n – you’re just looking so radiant today! what’s your secret?” an auntie who’s name you cannot remember gleams, looking at you. 
you smirk, and try to hold back the heat from flushing your cheeks. “oh, just a really good facial,” you say. technically, you’re being honest, right?
“jesus, dude. is this all from skin care daddy?” nobara says, as the tenth person from the wedding compliments your skin. 
“you have no idea. they really know what they’re doing.” you say nonchalantly. you pull out your phone and text a recently saved number. 
you: got any slots for a tokyo special tomorrow?
within minutes you get a response: 
gojo: u know i do babygirl. btw a new guy just joined our spa. hope it’s cool sukuna joins to observe  😈
319 notes · View notes
janaispunk · 16 hours
Text
no one has to know what we do
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chapter 2 • series masterlist
pairing: Dave York x f!reader
summary: Try as you might, Dave and you can’t stay away from each other.
word count: 4.4k
tags/warnings: explicit smut -> 18+ mdni, dbf!Dave, unhealthy relationship dynamics, dom/sub dynamics, angst, daddy issues (reader’s dad sucks), able-bodied reader, reader has hair that Dave pulls, no use of y/n, divorced Dave, unprotected p in v, fingering, rough sex, dirty talk, praise kink, spanking, sooooo many pussy slaps (don’t look at us), pet names, let me know if anything is missing!
a/n: co-written with my love @joelscurls, who unfortunately couldn’t write this entire chapter the way we had originally planned, so you’re stuck with me again. if you notice that some parts are better written than others, those are most likely hers haha <3 this is lowkey my favorite thing that i’ve ever put out, and i hope you like it as much as i do 🤍
follow @joelscurlsupdates and @janaispunknotifs for updates and find jess’s masterlist here and my masterlist here :)
dividers by the lovely @saradika-graphics 🤍
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The phone feels like a paperweight in your hand. It’s late — you should be sleeping, but you know it’s useless to even attempt shutting your eyes. It’s too loud in your head right now — that promise of just one time blaring: a warning. Still, you can’t help but consider ignoring it, texting David and begging to see him again.
It’s probably a bit pathetic, yearning for a man who made it clear he wanted nothing to do with you beyond a one night stand. Daydreaming about the timbre of his voice, the stretch of his cock. Getting his phone number from your father, who’s none the wiser. Your father, who is asleep in his own room just down the hall. Being home for the summer has never felt like such a burden.
Guilt eats at you as your fingers hover over the screen, David’s contact front and center. It would be so easy to send him a text right now, let him know you’re thinking about him. About the other night. But your conscience reins you in. Your father’s face flashes behind your eyes — rage and disappointment painting his features scarlet, and you drop the phone beside you on the mattress with a huff.
It’s difficult to even imagine the inevitable severity of his reaction if he ever found out. He’d probably cut you off, the revelation of you whoring around with his friend — and the possibility of this news getting out, tarnishing your family’s pure reputation — more than enough for him to disown you.
You hate him sometimes. Hate the life he’s forced onto you. You’re not even interested in studying law — not really. You never had a choice, though. It was determined before you even graduated high school that you’d follow in your dad’s footsteps. And as long as he’s funding your studies, your future, you have no right to complain. This is the life you should want. The life everyone wants. He reminds you of that fact regularly. Him, and his countless snooty club buddies.
But David — David is refreshing.
He doesn’t come from old money. He doesn’t pinch your cheeks and talk around you rather than to you, declarations of you must be so proud aimed at your father as you stand awkwardly to the side. You’re pretty sure he’s the first person outside of your professors to really look at you, take interest in anything you have to say in… god knows how long.
You can still feel his eyes boring into you. The subtle but tactful brush of his leg against yours under the table. The exhilaration that had thrummed in your veins. He’d made you feel something. You’d almost forgotten you could feel anything apart from stress and agitation. And as you lay in bed, mind swimming with arousal and impending remorse, you fear you may not be able to control yourself much longer, consequences be damned.
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He’s not expecting you to reach out.
Why would you? You’d mutually agreed on that night in his car being a one time thing — just a hookup; something he would’ve done before meeting Carol. Something he should probably be doing more often now. Except you’ve somehow sunk your teeth in him, injected him with a sort of venom.
Because all he can think about is seeing you again.
It’s wrong — beyond wrong. You’re so young; still in college, for christ sake. He never met you before the other night, but he’d been stationed overseas with your father when your mother was pregnant with you. He still remembers reading the letters she’d sent in care packages over his shoulder, the ones detailing her symptoms, what foods she was craving.
Strawberries. She always wanted strawberries. Maybe that’s why you’re so sweet.
He’s never been with a woman like you; never had someone trust him with so much vigor. Your needy little pleas, your vehement obedience, your desperation to take all of him in the driver’s seat of his car — you are nothing short of intoxicating.
Still, he tells himself you’re off limits. Trudges through the days that follow with the thought of you bouncing in his lap fogging his head. Struggles to focus at work and recovers in an increasingly poor manner when called on in meetings.
And then, late on a Friday night, you text him.
He only knows it’s you because you tell him so — your full name flashing across the screen followed by an apology for messaging him so late. You say you’re out with friends, and he’d probably have guessed anyway by the typos littering your sentences.
Seconds after the first, another text comes through:
[1:23am] csnt stop thinking about u. pls see me again i promise i won’t twll anyone
Fuck. Fuck.
His muscles tense; his cock twitches in his boxers. And before he does something stupid, like responds, he sets the phone face down on his bedside table. Stalks off to the bathroom with the intention of taking an icy-cold shower, detoxing himself best he can.
He hasn’t even closed the door yet when he hears it ring.
The rhythmic jingle drones through his studio apartment, and he all but leaps at the noise. Sure enough, it's you, calling him drunk in the middle of the night.
His head swims. He presses ‘answer’ anyway.
“David?” Your voice sounds so sugary-sweet, cloying with innocence. He can hear people in the background, maybe your friends, talking about getting another round of drinks.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” he asks first. You tell him yes; say you're waiting on a rideshare.
He exhales. And even though hearing you is making him dizzy with a fucked up sort of desire, echoes of your pleasured sounds ringing in his ears, he manages to maintain composure when you say, “can I please come over?”
“Don't think that's the best idea,” he mutters. The lack of conviction in his words would likely be painfully obvious if you weren't intoxicated. But you are, and you whine through the receiver at his rejection.
Dave fights to ignore the increasing stiffness in his boxers.
“Please,” you beg. Fuck, he loves the way you sound when you beg. “I just got off the phone with my dad…he doesn't want me coming home so drunk; said he's working on a case and I’ll be a nuisance.”
His heart breaks for you. For the girl who just wants a father who loves her, who sees her as a person with feelings. Dave can't imagine ever treating his daughters this way. Would never dream of it.
“C-can I?” your voice sounds through the speaker again — softer, less sure. Like you've prepared yourself already for the blow of him rejecting you too.
“Can't– can’t you stay with one of your friends?”
You sigh, defeated. “I want to stay with you.”
It’s not that he doesn’t want to. God, it would be so easy to say yes. To go and pick you up from the bar himself, bring you back to his place. Help you sober up a bit and fuck you until you can't take it anymore. But he can’t; he shouldn't even be speaking to you right now. He needs to cut this off. Needs to make it clear to you that you can't reach out to him again.
“You– we can’t.” He’s stern, direct. It pains him. “The other night shouldn’t have happened.” True, though he doesn’t regret it. Not one bit.
You’re quiet on the other end of the line for a second too long. When you finally do speak again, your voice breaks.
“You don’t like me?”
He’s going to tell you that of course that’s not it, that he’s been thinking about you constantly, that he wishes he could get you out of his fucking head. But he doesn’t get the chance. Because your friends are laughing boisterously around you, then, sounds growing more and more muffled through the speaker, and you’re telling him rather unceremoniously that you have to go.
The call disconnects with a beep.
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You wake the following morning with a dizzying headache, daylight burning a hole between your eyes. With your friend still soundly asleep, you slip out of her room and then her apartment; find yourself home just as your father is getting ready to leave for work.
His travel mug sits on the entrance table as he pulls his shoes on, and you're immediately met with the smells of coffee and his leathery cologne.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” he mutters as he grabs his briefcase. You don't dare look him in the eyes, lest you be met with their disapproving stare.
“Hi,” you reply, small and non confrontational. When he doesn't answer, you continue past him, begin your ascent up the stairs toward your room.
“Not very appropriate for a young professional, going out and getting wasted. Your future employer could've been there. Could've seen you acting like an imbecile.”
Annoyance furls behind your temples; makes the pounding in your head grow tenfold.
“Well then they probably won't be my future employer,” you snip.
“Probably not.”
You hear the front door close behind you and, with an agitated sigh, drag your feet the rest of the way up the stairs. You fall onto the covers of your bed, well aware that you should probably shower, but your body feels too heavy, in no way ready to move again just yet.
When you pull out your phone, ready for some mindless scrolling to numb your thoughts for a while, you’re met with a notification that sends your heart racing.
Have fun last night?
From David, sent five minutes ago.
You hastily scroll up, reading your own texts from last night, full of typos and barely coherent. csnt stop thinking about u. Your head falls back with a groan. You had gone out to forget about him, not to drunkenly confess your feelings to him in the middle of the night.
Now that you’re thinking about it, you also vaguely recall speaking to him. You tap on your call log and sure enough, there’s his name, only minutes after you texted him. You have no idea what you might have said to him, only a blurry memory of being upset about something. Great, this is great.
Sighing deeply, you go back to messages.
i was very drunk. sorry for bothering you
His reply comes almost instantly.
Who said you bothered me?
You’ve only met him once, and yet you can picture his smirk as if you’ve seen it a thousand times.
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Dave is sipping his coffee, black, no sugar, and listens to Jim going over his plans for the both of them going golfing next weekend, humming occasionally.
It pains him, looking at the man in front of him, while your voice from last night is still ringing through his head. How hurt you sounded, looking for a place to stay, not being welcome in your own home.
When Jim stands up to leave for work, he remains seated, gesturing towards his half eaten bagel, but assuring the other man that he doesn’t have to wait for him.
You still haven’t left his thoughts. If anything, the longing he feels for you has gotten worse since you told him how much you want to see him again. And he’s so tired of denying himself the one thing he really wants.
He’s patient, chipping away at the bagel until he sees your father’s gray Dodge peel out of the parking lot. And then he gives it another 10 minutes, just to be safe.
Come join me for coffee? I’m downtown at Roasted Beans.
You respond moments later — such an obedient little thing, you are — letting him know you’ll be there shortly. He finishes off his drink, discards the cup along with the bagel wrapper, and orders two fresh coffees.
He sees you before you see him. Eyes wide, lips parted ever so slightly, you look so cute as you scan the cafe. You’re wearing a sundress, the blue fabric dancing around your thighs with every turn of your body, and Dave finds himself entranced by you.
You smile when you finally catch sight of him, your entire face lighting up and he smiles back without a second thought.
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You shouldn’t meet him again. You really, really shouldn’t. But the conversation with your father this morning keeps replaying in your head, the disapproval weighing heavy on you, the feeling of being unable to do anything right.
You long for someone to look at you without judgment, for the sound of good girl against your skin. You long for David.
After last night and the fact that he obviously didn’t invite you over, you had thought that for him, maybe it really had been a just one time thing. Like you both had agreed on multiple times.
But then he’d texted you again, asking you to meet him. It’s almost embarrassing, how quickly you got ready, eager to see him again, despite knowing better.
On the drive over, you run through countless discussions in your head, trying to decide what you’re going to say to him. You have to be reasonable. There’s too much at stake. David is a mistake that you wouldn’t be able to come back from. You’re just going to meet him because he asked you to, because that’s the nice thing to do. It’ll just be coffee, nothing more.
Your resolve crumbles as soon as you see him. His eyes are already on you, their expression so full of want that it makes you ache. You walk over, feigning confidence as you slide onto the chair next to his, a quiet greeting on your lips. The deep, smooth sound of his voice when he returns it is enough to make you melt.
He has already ordered for you. It’s a small thing, rationally, but it’s once again more care, more attention than you’re used to. Warmth is spreading through your chest, but you try steeling yourself, forcing out the words that you’ve prepared to say.
“Listen, I want to apologize about last night. I shouldn’t have– I wasn’t thinking straight, I’m sorry for bothering–”
“Hey, sweetheart.” He interrupts your nervous stuttering, his hand gently wrapping around yours on the table. “I already told you that you didn’t bother me. If anything–” He sighs, his grip tightening. “I’m the one who’s sorry, you were looking for somewhere to stay, I shouldn’t have turned you down like that.”
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It breaks Dave’s heart, seeing how you’re making yourself smaller, how ready you seem for him to scold you. Your quiet You don’t like me? still echoes in his mind. How your own father didn’t care where his daughter spent the night, as long as she didn’t come home. Didn’t bother him.
He clocked the way your eyes widened in surprise at the coffee that he got you, how you huff a relieved breath when he assures you again that he’s not annoyed with you. You’re so sweet, so deserving of being loved and cared for, and he so desperately wants to be the person who does that for you.
He felt the same pull from that night towards you as soon as he laid eyes on you again, and it’s only gotten worse, now that you’re right next to him, now that he’s touching the soft surface of your hand. He vividly remembers how your skin felt under his fingertips, how you writhed against him.
The urge to get just a taste of that again becomes overwhelming. He holds your gaze as his fingers start gliding over your thighs under the table, inching towards the hem of your dress. Your lips part, the softest whimper escaping your throat at his touch.
He shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t be touching you like this, shouldn’t be thinking about you like this. Can’t stop thinking about you. I want to stay with you. How is he supposed to keep away, to stop himself, when you come to him so willingly, so desperate to be wanted?
“David?” Fuck, he loves that you call him that. “Will you take me home with you? Please?”
He can tell that you’re scared to ask, bracing yourself to be rejected again. He’s not nearly as strong as you think he is.
“Yes. Come on.”
He pulls you to your feet and out of the door before either of you have the chance to change your minds.
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He’s a bad man, shouldn’t be getting off on having total control over you like this. He’s probably sick; should see that shrink Carol recommended a couple months ago after the divorce was officially finalized. But the way you’re looking at him — with the same big-eyed, doleful stare you’d given him that first night — tells him you want this. Need this, even. You long to relinquish control to someone other than your hawkish father.
So pliant in his lap, limbs all gooey and relaxed under his touch, it’s clear that you trust him. Maybe more than he trusts himself.
You’re spread out on his couch, clothes hastily discarded as soon as the both of you stumbled over the threshold, already entangled in each other. He’s led you to the living room, the thought of fucking you in his bed, of your presence lingering there, your scent permeating his sheets, the last invisible line that he’s determined not to cross.
He has been toying with your body, collected your wrists in a hold over your head and told you to keep them there while he flicked and tugged on your nipples, sucked marks into your skin while you writhed underneath him.
He’s taking it slow, now that you’re here with him, now that he has the time to thoroughly break you down and put you back together again.
You’re already soaked when he sinks a finger into you, your tight walls clenching around him immediately. You coo up at him — a needy little noise that has his resolve disintegrating in seconds flat — and you look relieved when his hand loosely wraps around your throat.
“Please,” you whisper then, and he tuts.
“You want me to take care of you?”
You nod.
“Then you take what I give you. No begging. Do I make myself clear?”
Another noise — this one smaller, stuck in your throat — and he’s pulling his finger out of you again, lips curling into a cruel smile.
He doesn’t give you any time to prepare before the first slap lands on your already-throbbing clit. You can’t help but shriek. In response, he tightens the grip on your throat slightly. Gives three more stinging smacks in quick succession. Dave almost doesn’t notice when your eyes begin to roll back. He does notice, however, when your hips begin to roll upward, your body chasing his hand.
“Oh, such a good girl you are,” he praises.
Slap.
“You love this, don’t you?”
“Mhm,” you moan, garbled and a little breathless.
Slap.
“Pathetic little girl. Bet you could come just from this, you’re so desperate. Couldn’t you?”
You gasp.
Slap.
“Answer me,” Dave demands. “Or I’ll stop.”
It’s almost comical how quickly you sputter the word yes, eyes desperately pleading with him to keep going. And he’s almost shocked just how badly you needed this. In this moment, any guilt he’d been feeling is replaced with the desperate desire to give you exactly what you crave.
He slaps you again, a little harder this time, and you wail. Your legs are trembling, but you make no move to close them, keeping yourself spread wide open and accessible for him.
He’s throbbing, fighting the urge to sink his cock into your tight heat, but he wants, needs to know how far he can push you. How far you’ll go for him.
You’re dripping onto his cushions and he collects some of your slick with his fingers, rubs them against your clit. Your skin is burning under his fingertips. He teases the oversensitive nub with gentle touches, relishes in the way your eyes are glued to his face, the way your lips are trembling as you’re silently pleading with him.
No words are escaping you, and you’re so good, making him so proud with how you’re following his commands.
He slaps your clit again, and again, and again, until you’re a babbling mess, your throat constricting against his grip and your back arching as you come with a cry. Wetness floods out of you and you’re shuddering in his hold, broken whimpers of his name falling from your lips.
He watches with sick fascination, almost unable to believe that he drove you to this point. How much you enjoy being treated like this. That you’re just as twisted as he is.
When you come down, your arms weakly reach for him and he scoops you up, pulls you into his lap until your face is nuzzled into his neck.
“Good girl,” he coos, gently stroking your hair, “you did so good.”
He gives you a few moments to rest, tracing shapes across your back, until his fingers dip deeper, gliding over your ass and between your spread legs, where you’re still so fucking wet.
You squirm under his touch, needy little sounds traveling up to his ears once more. “Please,” you whisper.
One hand grabs into your hair, pulling your head back until he can see your face. You look wrecked. Pupils blown wide, your eyes wet with tears, but what really gets him is the way you look at him. He had worried, for a second, that he might have been too rough, but there’s only pure trust and longing in your eyes.
“I thought I told you no begging.”
You bite your lip, furrow your brow in that adorable way of yours. “I’m sorry. It just– it all feels so good.”
He presses his thumb down on your bottom lip, releasing it from your teeth.
“I know it does, sweetheart. You need more?”
You nod quietly, your eyes wide and pleading.
“Alright then.” He turns you over so quickly that you gasp, scrambling for a second to get your bearings. You’re on all fours, your legs still spread, your ass on display for him.
He had wanted to prepare you a little more, to give you several of his fingers first before he stretches you out on his cock, but he can’t possibly hold back any longer. Judging from the loud moan that you let out, he thinks that you like the sting of him sinking into you unprepared.
It’s even better than he remembers, your slick walls engulfing him so tightly. He starts pounding into you, the depth of his thrusts jolting your body forward and forcing more sounds from you.
He wants you to still feel him tomorrow, wants you to remember him, wants to stake a claim that he knows he doesn’t have. He groans your name, his fingers digging into your hips, greedy for every part of you that he can reach.
Perfect, you’re so fucking perfect, giving yourself to him like this.
“Come on,” he growls, reaching down to find your clit again, rubbing in tight circles. “Give me another one.”
You cry out, pushing back against him. So fucking eager. He lands two quick slaps on your ass and you fall apart, trembling wildly as your walls pulse around him and you scream out his name.
He can’t hold himself back any more and follows you over the edge, pumping into you once more and holding your hips pressed against his.
You both collapse down onto his couch, a mess of tangled, sweaty limbs and quick breaths. You curl your body into his and he presses kisses against your cheeks, your temples, your lips.
Slowly, as he’s coming back to his senses, the guilt settles in.
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He lets go of you much too quickly, stands up and starts getting dressed quietly. You watch him for a moment, wracking your mind for something to say, before he looks at you.
“Get dressed. I’ll drive you home.”
He sounds cold, distant. So different from the man who just took you to heights that you didn’t know existed until now. You suppress a shiver and get up hastily. Suddenly, being naked around him feels much too exposed, too vulnerable for your liking.
You pull your dress over your head and slide your shoes back on, but one crucial item is missing.
“Did– did you see my underwear?” you force yourself to ask. He shakes his head, not gracing you with a verbal answer.
Eventually, you give up the search and follow him down the stairs and into his car. The silence grows, until its weight is pressing down, almost suffocating you. You steal glances at him, but his eyes are fixed on the road, staring straight ahead, never wavering. A muscle in his jaw is ticking.
The mix of his spend and yours is pooling between your legs, but it makes you feel dirty now. You force down the lump that’s building in your throat.
When he stops in front of your house, you scramble out of the car without a word. You don’t know what would be worse, if he said goodbye like nothing was wrong or if he remained silent. You don’t want to find out.
It’s late in the evening, you’re lying on your bed, eyelids squeezed shut, willing sleep to finally overtake you. Thoughts keep spiraling through your head, so many questions that you have no answers to.
He asked you to meet up, for fuck’s sake. You don’t understand why he’s treating you like this, but you’re determined to not let it happen again. Just two times, you think with a bitter scoff.
Your phone vibrates on your bedside table, indicating a new message.
[11:55pm] I can’t stop thinking about you either.
Attached is a photo. A photo of a familiar lacy scrap of fabric, grasped in his hand and covered in milky white cum.
It’s filthy, and wrong, and you feel yourself getting obscenely wet at the thought of him touching himself with your missing panties clutched between his fingers.
Maybe just one more time.
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thank you for reading 🤍 if you liked this, please consider reblogging, leaving a comment or sending an ask, it truly makes my day every single time!
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candeathbereal · 2 days
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Astro observations
Sister signs are the funniest to look at sometimes, because much like sisters there will be the similarites. For instance, Leo and Aquarius are both cocky asf but you know what the difference is between them? Idk if it's just the leos I've met or what but they will say they don't care what others think of them and yet when you say something about them all of the sudden they in their feelings. I can say this as a leo rising too cause bitch, no puedo mentir....if you talk about my looks I might feel some kind of way lowkey. Mostly because it is one of those things that I take seriously about myself so it feels really odd when someone who (in my opinon) doesn't look as good as me and disses me on the way I look...I'm going to be acting (with a lack of better words) like a bitch. I think this is why I get along with libra placements so well because I swear if a libra calls you ugly, you know they can say that shit with no worry of pushback. Like have you see libra placements...motherfuckers rule Venus for a reason (taurus are also pretty but it is defeintly different if you know what I mean, I jsut wanted to point that out since Taurus also rule Venus and I didn't want any confusion). Moving on what I wanted to point out is that Aquarius (at least from the ones I've met) honestly don't seem to care. Like I think depending on the placemetns of the person it could change some stuff up but overall most Aquarius I have met in certain things say they don't care and they won't. Like if you say shit about something they don't care about...they simply won't really react as opposed to thier sister sign leos (fire signs can't help it, it is me I am the fire sign).
Literally Leos it's okay to care about shit...like own up to it. It's better than contradicting yourself. And yes ranting a whole bunch about something does count as caring about it. I'm sorry to break the news to you (i know breaking news people care about things). I do wanna repeat that this is based off my own personal experience as a leo rising with my sun in aries (17 degree) and my venus in the fifth degree (if you don't know those are leo degrees), so I am calling myself out a bit when I wrote this.
Moving on, I might write more about the sister signs in another post
Is it just me or are a lot of Pisces suns I've met happen to be left handed? Like I assume being left handed and a Pisces is one of the biggest coincidences I have experienced in my life. It's even funnier cause I remember meeting a person who was ambidextrous and they had a Gemini sun, libra moon, and a Pisces mars. I asked them if they were left handed and just had to learn how to write with their right hand (apparently left handed is connected to Satan or something like that) , but actually they just decided to write with their left hand as well because it felt more balanced to them. I find it funny because of the whole thing of doubles in these three signs. Gemini= Twins, Libra= Scales, and Pisces = two fish.
Alright final thing, mercury in the fifth house in synastry is definitely a moment to experience. It is one of my favorite house overlays in synastry from usually being one of the most fun conversations I have had with someone with this overlay. Generally speaking air house overlays with mercury is great but something about the fifth house really goes for me. I want to assume it's because my fifth house is in sag and I already have a ninth house stellium natally plus a sag mars. Plus my Aries mercury is helpful in this as well but ehh.
Anyways I would love to hear you guy's thoughts, or even any suggestions on what I should talk about next.
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snowyquokka · 2 days
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SECRET SECRET
chapter 2
cw: swearing, angst, mutual pining, rejection, mentions of sex, rejection, lowkey obsession, college!au, afab reader
wc: 1.3k
a.n - this took wayyyy too long for me to write 😭
✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧
You’ve been standing at Seungmin’s door for almost ten minutes now, contemplating if you should knock. Before you can second guess yourself into spontaneous combustion, the door swings open and reveals a nervous looking Seungmin. He has a blush painted on his cheeks and his deep boba eyes have a little extra sparkle to them. 
“Did you get lost or something? You took forever,” And there goes the moment. You roll your eyes and walk right past him into his house. You’re immediately met with a fragrance you know all too well.
“Do you want anything? Food? Drink?” Seungmin smiles. He looks like a puppy and it is ridiculous. How are you supposed to stay mad at him?
“No thanks.” You can hear the nervousness in your voice and pray that he doesn’t.
“So uh- fuck,” Seungmin sits on the couch next to you and blows out a frustrated breath. A twinge of relief courses through your veins at the sound of his shaky syllables and your mouth threatens to twitch into a smile.
“Your place is really nice,” You say sincerely. This is one of the first times you’ve stepped into a clean house inhabited by just a man.
“Oh,” Seungmin’s blush intensifies, “Thanks.” You nod and look around, waiting for him to say something. “Thank you for coming.” He wonders why you’re having this effect on him. You’re making him embarrassed of himself and he hates it.
“What did you want to talk about?” Now is his chance, Seungmin thinks to himself. You are quite literally giving him the opening he so desperately needs to shoot his shot.
“I wanted to see if you would help me with this project,” 
He fumbled the bag, as per usual. Seungmin has to fight the physical urge to hit himself right there. 
You, on the other hand, are ecstatic. Or, atleast, you would like to be. You should be. The guy you’ve done everything in your power to make like you is now asking for your help. But then your trust issues come to light. Right now you need to think about your mental stability. If whatever he’s trying to do ends poorly, you have no idea how you’d recover from it. The familiar twinkle is back in his eyes, the same twinkle that got you into this situation. But as soon as you open your mouth, his sparkle diminishes.
-
“So let me get this straight. Feel free to stop and correct me at any moment.” Hyunjin sighs dramatically on the other end of the phone, “You told him that you had more important things to do than help him? You little fucking sado-masochist.” 
You wince, “Okay, yeah, I suppose I deserve that.”
“You’re damn right you do. I don’t think in my 21 years of living- or hell even in our 6 years of friendship- that I’ve seen someone be so stupid. And you are far from stupid.” You frown. “No offense, I love you and all but damn.”
You cover up your flustered face with your hands, thankful that he can’t see you. “I know-” You whine, “I panicked. Like- what the hell was I supposed to say?” 
Hyunjin snorts “Hmm. How about Sure Seungmin, of course I’d love to help you. Maybe now we can bond and I can jump your bones like I’ve always wanted to.” You choke on air and your face turns such a deep red that you’d might as well cosplay as a tomato. 
“I don’t want to jump his bones, nor have I ever wanted to.” You lie straight through your teeth. Who are you kidding? The amount of attention he gives you is much more than any past boyfriend has ever shown you. Despite it being negative, you’re constantly finding yourself craving it- craving him. 
“You’re a fucking liar. Are you planning your own demise?” Your best friend scoffs. You sink into your bed and pray for it to swallow you whole. You’d never get that lucky, though. “Here’s what you’re gonna do: first you’re going to shut up and let me speak without groaning and or scoffing every five seconds. Then I’m going to hang up on you and you’re gonna call Seungm- what did I say about voicing your grievances.” You can’t help it. You don’t think you have the confidence to speak to Seungmin again after today. Like ever.
“What do you think I should say?” 
“This might come as a shock to you so be prepared,” You scowl immediately, “A normal person would apologize,” Hyunjin goes silent, as if he’s waiting for you to go off on him.
“Why the fuck would I have to apologize? And what do you mean by a normal person? Are you insinuating that I’m not normal?” You’re teetering on the line between bawling your eyes out and screaming until your lungs give out. You decide on the latter and put your phone on speaker, tossing it to your side before grabbing the nearest pillow and screaming into it.
“I appreciate you subjecting me to the ear piercing screech that sounds like it emerged straight from hell.” 
“Remind me why I’m friends with you again?” You pick your phone back up.
“Because I’m Hwang Hyunjin. Who doesn’t want to be friends with me?” 
“Dick,” you mutter. He laughs and scolds you again before hanging up.
-
A few hours - and two glasses of wine - later, you’re sitting on your kitchen counter with your phone balancing on your thigh while you nurse your third glass. You know you should’ve stopped at one. You know yourself well enough to realize that you get a little chaotic when tipsy. Which is exactly the reason that Seungmin’s contact is 
[You] - im sorry… delete
[You] - im actually in love with you and have been for the past 2 years… delete
You have to fight the physical urge to beat your head off the wall. What was wrong with you? It shouldn’t be that difficult to apologize- or at least explain yourself. You groan into your hands, using your palms to muffle the sound. You swear that your neighbors must hate you by now; the walls in your apartment complex are too thin for them not to. 
The options presented to you, you think, are either a) you apologize, which is the most unlikely scenario, b) you wait for Seungmin to apologize, actually that might be the least likely possibility, c) you ask Hyunjin to talk to Seungmin for you, or d) you move on with your life and pray that he gives up on you. 
Is that the smartest answer? Absolutely not. Is it the safest? Most definitely. At this point you’re debating just staying in bed forever or moving to a different country. 
What you didn’t realize, however, was that you’d underestimate just how much you affect him.
Every waking moment, it seems, he’s thinking about you. How you smile. Your outfit. Maybe he likes the way you did your hair. Seungmin notices everything about you. If you’ve changed anything, your mood, body language. He sees everything. 
He’s straight up fixated on you lately. Seungmin’s been thinking: maybe it’s for the best that you indirectly rejected you. Maybe he dodged a bullet and saved himself from becoming borderline obsessed,
But then Seungmin opens Instagram, a picture of you in a dress that he wishes he was the only one seeing you in, and he changes his mind. 
He’s not going to stop until you’re his, come hell or high water.
tags: @godslino @skzstarnet @myseungsunglove @seungseung-minmin
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xecutivecucumber · 3 hours
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Executive Cucumber's Thoughts on the Bad Batch 03x09!
Spoilers under the cut
Apologies for this being late, I worked overtime and then immediately went to rescue my sister and her kids from a car breakdown. I got overwhelmed pretty quick.
I really liked this episode, but as I was in a not great mood when I watched it, I didn't absorb as much as I normally do. (My mood really affects how much I enjoy something, regardless of quality. I was in a foul mood when I first watched Faster and was fairly critical of it. I was wrong.)
This is really the first time we've seen not beautiful weather on Pabu and that's terrifying.
CROSSHAIR IS PART OF A COMMUNITY!!! Have yall considered that he's never been a part of a community before? Like yes, he's has his family, but a community?
'Does it matter? We're not giving her up.' This man. I love this man. If Tech did not already reign Supreme in my heart, I think Crosshair would be my favorite character in Star Wars.
ASAJJ VENTRESS MY QUEEEEEEEEEN
Oh Omega, that story fell apart faster than Hunter's resistance to adopting you.
They leave a space for Tech 💔
Apparently those blood tester things that Qui Gon had were Jedi issue only.
YOU CAN DO IT OMEGA!!! Wrecker, honey, if Omega CAN do it, that means her life gets WAY harder.
They one hundred percent sent Crosshair to look at Tech's data because Hunter and Wrecker can barely do it.
'Go get a flower kid, I gotta beat up your dads'
Okay, I honestly think Hunter doesn't have the time for romance and could honestly see him as asexual, but-
HIS WAIST IS SO SLUTTY. HOW IS IT SO SLUTTY.
I don't think we've seen such well choreographed hand to hand fighting in animated Star Wars. Except maybe that time that Rex absolutely destroyed those Zygerrians. But I might be biased about that.
'SHE'S A WAR CRIMINAL OMEGA' Okay now I need to know what defines war crimes in this universe. Did they have space Geneva?
You know, good thing Echo's not here. He'd probably be WAY more pissed than these three.
'You're naive' says the man who was changed by the child saying people can change.
I love Crosshair's 'oh shoot she's right' face.
Wrecker's little gasp when Ventress looks at them is AMAZING.
I love it when Star Wars is using the Force to connect with animals.
I'm sorry, Hunter girlies, I guess we getting wet hair everyone except Hunter. (Though Ventress looks SO GOOD)
VENTRESS YOU QUEEN I LOVE YOU YOU'VE COME SO FAR (I haven't read dark disciple but my sister has, and she informed me that Vos' Dark Side training by Ventress culminated in him summoning a water monster and killing it. This is such a beautiful parallel that she calms it.)
Crosshair helping Omega on is my everything.
I really love that Crosshair has decided to give Ventress a chance, because he was given a chance. (And also I lowkey ship them in a one night stand kinda way. Crossajj is such a good ship name too)
DAD DUO.
I don't think Ventress is lying when she says Omega isn't Force sensitive. Omega doesn't show ANYTHING in this episode that implies that she's sensitive. Yes, she uses Batcher, but she'd trained Batcher with normal friend methods. I think that Ventress stops the testing prematurely before she can be more sure, because she sees the possibly unhealthy attachment the Batch have. It might also be to protect Omega to not know for sure. My personal theory is that Omega is slightly more sensitive than the average clone, but not to any natural talent degree.
Oh gosh, I'm so scared for the next few episodes. Ventress gives them such a clear warning. This episode did such a good job of getting the tension tight again.
I know some people call this episode redundant, but the characters NEED this in order to catch up. We as an audience knew that M Counts meant midichlorians. But the Batch had no idea. Sometimes, we need to let the main characters catch up with us.
(This is also why Tech as CX-2 works on a reveal level because the mystery isn't for us, it's for the characters)
But yeah, a great episode! I'm terrified for everything and everyone!
A quick note- I've seen people say that it's too late in the season for Tech to return. I'd like to remind you that it took exactly two episodes in season 2 to get us behind Crosshair's redemption. They can do a lot in a few episodes.
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darlindeer · 11 hours
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A Good Place III
tags:fem!reader, takes place post-canon, reader is/was chronically online, reader is actually a bad person, cursing, Lucifer lowkey is having a mid-life crisis (again), Lucifer has very strong feelings about sinners, I am afraid that reader is a girlblogger, reader has daddy issues, Vaping (don't do it, is not worth it). words: 2.7k a/n: HI :D sooooo I really like this chapter, and I hope that you do too :D its a short one buuuut yeah :D ALSO I am starting a taglist soooo if you wanna be tagged do let me know ^^
part i, part ii, part iii
Do all therapists go to heaven? 
Well surely not if they are like creeps or like… malpractice? Yeah… that sounds right? 
Either way, you were sure that listening to Lucifer talk about himself and his life is definitely winning you some good person points or whatever it is they measure “goodness” by. Sure, you were doing it out of the kindness of your heart as Charlie likes to put it as but… its gotta be helping with redemption right?
“And.. uh.. Oh” He trailed off, his eyes falling on you, seeing how your half lidded eyes and sleepy look in your face “you should probably get to bed, sorry, I didn’t mean to bored you” 
“No, no… is just… your voice is soothing I guess” You half lied sitting up straight 
“Oh…” He blushed and looked away “so… uh… how are you doing?” He asked awkwardly 
“Huh?” 
“Well, after I ran out of thing to ask you I just sorta started talking about myself and you just sit there and listen” He was looking away still. He never really looked at you for longer than a couple of seconds, at least when he had your attention, sometimes during the day you’d feel his eyes burning into the side or back of your head until you turned around and he would quickly look away. But like with most things you would simply ignore it, at least you knew that he wasn’t staring because he wanted you to drop dead, like he did with Alastor. 
“Oh, uh… well… I guess I’m fine?” You shrugged “I don’t know, I… I like being around here, but it just feels like I’m stuck… I guess?” You confessed quietly as you brought your knees up to your chest, as if you were protecting yourself from the little vulnerability you let out “like I don’t fit” You mumbled even quieter than before. 
You weren’t lying to him, not like when Charlie asks and you tell her you are great because you don’t want her to worry. You felt alone still, almost two months in the hotel and you still felt out of place. 
Lucifer sucked in air through his teeth, letting out an awkward hissing sound. He really wasn’t expecting that to be your answer, you always seemed so confident and smiley throughout the day, he figured your quiet demeanor during your talks was just because you were tired not because you were sad. He was wrecking his brain to find something to say but he looked over at you when he heard you let out a giggle 
“Y’know I’m terrible at comforting people too” You said with a small smile “I think most of the time I make that exact sound, one time I just said “bummer” when a friend told me her mom died” You giggled again, before burying your head into your knees. 
“That’s horrible” He gasped looking at you, seeing how your hands gripped the sides of your legs slightly tighter and your tail, wrapped around and laid over your feet. “Sorry…” 
“I just don’t know how to… feelings properly” You groan, your voice slightly muffled 
“Hey, I’ll drink to that” He said with a small chuckle, slumping back on the couch, now staring at the wall, you didn’t say anything back. The silences between you didn’t feel awkward anymore, nor empty to Lucifer, they just were. Part of whatever this is that you are doing.
“Don’t tell Charlie…” You mumbled looking up and turning your head to him 
“Huh? Tell her what?” 
“That I said that I feel like I don’t fit…” you sighed and closed your eyes “please… I know that I'm asking you to lie to your daughter but-” 
“I won’t” He interrupted you, you opened your eyes, and for once he didn’t look away as soon as you did, but it felt weird, he was looking at you with understanding and something else… it felt weird, so this time you looked away 
“Thanks” You sighed, staring at the wall, the room was illuminated by the tv, it was on but on mute, set on some random channel, it casted a blue-ish light that would ever so often change depending on the scene of the show that was on, you found it a little odd how the entire room changed because of the light, it made the overwhelming amounts of red seem bearable, but who cares, you certainly don’t you are just looking for something to distract you from the weight that lucifer’s look was starting to weigh on you. To think that a few minutes ago you were wondering why he never looked at you for longer than 5 seconds, now you just want him to look away.
And for the first time, the silence seemed unbearable to you, you never minded before, hell! You could even say that you liked it, a break, a moment to breathe, to settle before moving onto whatever next topic Lucifer wanted to talk about. Now it just felt like you were drowning, soon you’ll be gasping for air and reaching for whatever you could get a hold of to escape the crushing weight of it. 
You let go of your legs, stretching them out and took a deep breath. 
“I think I am going to go to bed” You said standing up from the sofa, “goodnight” You flashed him a small smile before walking away, giving him a small wave 
“Night…” he mumbled waving back 
・༓☾  ☽༓・ 
Lucifer knew he hadn’t really made a “personal” connection with you, you were… friends… of sorts. You’d talk and listen to him, and he did the same, but there was something different about it, like a weird shame… that was part of the reason he had asked you to keep your conversations a secret, but he wasn’t quite sure why he felt this weird encapsulation shame whenever he was around you. Even though you two would only speak during nighttime, whenever he had the time to “spare you” a glance during the day, he couldn’t help but stare until you turned to look at him, granted you always looked slightly annoyed when you turned which only made him turn his gaze away. That only led him to believe that you felt this same weird feeling he had about this “relationship”. 
Sure, during your talks you were nice, you smiled and looked at him when he spoke, you gave him undivided attention, and he knew that you did too because there had been a few times you recalled things he had said, little throw away things that he would not have remembered, but you did, you’d tilt your head to the side, your ears turning outwards a little, your eyebrows knitting together in slight confusion before you asked about the small inconsistency on the story he was telling you, it wasn’t like he was lying, he wouldn’t lie, he would just misspeak, but you noticed. 
And that attention to detail wasn’t something exclusive to him, he noticed how you would randomly recall in the same way about the other residents, same expression, same tilt of your head as you asked them about the smallest of details or inconsistencies in their stories, Alastor specifically seemed to detest this about you. 
Maybe it was the hypocrisy he was performing, so adamantly disliking sinners and actively avoiding them publicly, even slightly resisting his darling daughter’s request for him to try, only for him to seek you out and practically beg you to talk to him. There was definitely… ways… for him to learn about the things you told him about, but maybe it was because you were a sinner that he wanted to hear it from you, someone that had actually experienced it, not just read it off a book or recall old old memories. 
Any way, you were a plague, there was no other way he could describe it. You had infested his mind, everything made him think of you. And it didn’t help that he literally would see you everywhere since he had been staying at the hotel to help Charlie contact heaven again. He could hide away in his studio/room for most of the day, but if he wanted to eat, or have some down time, chances were that he would see you, even if it was only a glimpse of you, your image would be plastered all over his mind. He could make a chart of every outfit you had worn this week. 
“Dad…Dad?” Charlie waved her hand in front of Lucifer’s face until he reacted and looked her way again since it seemed he was staring at the floor before “did you listen to anything I said?...” 
“Uh no, yeah totally” He said confidently looking up at his daughter with an awkward smile “but you could repeat it… just to confirm I got all of it”
“Right… so both Angel and Y/N are out today and I know we should focus on getting sinners into heaven but I think we should brainstorm some advertising! To get more sinners in here!...” Charlie continued to ramble on about one of her ideas, going full on the theatrics. 
“So where oh… where did Y/N go?” He asked after Charlie finished, looking at his nails as if to seem uninterested in the question he asked. 
“Uh, she said she had something to do, didn’t give much information, kinda just said be back later” Charlie said hand on her face as she thought back to this morning “and Angel had to work so, it’s a day off for them today at the hotel at least” 
“Right right, Andy is at work and Y/N is just out?” He hummed, still trying to look uninterested 
“Yes… ANGEL is at work and Y/N is somewhere, I think she said something about a sale, uh a five finger discount, so like 50% off probably!” Charlie said in a hopeful tone and then Lucifer tried to explain that you were probably shoplifting without crushing all her hopes. 
・༓☾  ☽༓・ 
You waltzed into the hotel near 3am, several bags hanging in your arms, holding your phone in one hand as the other held up a pink vape up to your lips, the little light at the bottom and the unbelievably bright screen of your phone, lighting up the mostly dark room. 
The only thing that could be heard was the clacking of your boots as you walk. You exhaled the smoke as you started walking up the stairs, using the light of your phone as a guide.
When you finally got to your room you found no other than lucifer, kinda just pacing in front of your door 
“Oh… hey” you said walking to the door and opening, he was wearing pajamas, like an actual two set pajamas, light blue with little duckies all over “you… uh been waiting long?” 
“You were out all day, uh andy got here before you” he said looking as you walked in, standing at your doorway 
“And you were worried?” you asked looking at him “are you just gonna stand there?... who's andy?”
“Y’know tall, spider fella” He raised his hand as far up as he could
“Oh, Angel” you said and nodded, taking out the several boxes from the bags “so, you were worried?” You asked in a teasing tone, your tail wagging slowly and low 
“Well you haven’t been in hell for long and those sinners out there… they are…” he followed with a long strained groan “t-they are violent and… and depraved-” 
“I just went shopping” You interrupted and shrugged “so like, I’ve been posting like a bunch of stuff on sinstagram and tiktok and like I’ve gotten a BUNCH of followers and like a couple stores were like, “come take a bunch of our stuff for free and just post a video or post a picture at the store” and well I love free stuff so I went and then after they were like “hey! Lets go to the club!” and my mom always told me to never deny a free drink or free anything so I went!” You explained taking out a pair of long boots “can you like, come in, its bugging me that you are at the door, I have… a poof you can sink into” 
“Oh yea yea, suuuuure, just come into your room, okay” He said quietly actually stepping in 
“Close the door behind you please” You pointed at it and he closed it, before just standing there awkwardly making you giggle a little “you can relax sire, is not like I have my panties on the floor” you giggled before looking around just to make sure “yeah no panties on the floor” 
“Haha sire, ha!” He chuckled to “himself”, he can’t really recall a moment where you had addressed him properly… or like at all… now that he is thinking about it you haven’t even said his name, not that he can remember. And it made his chest tight, he never has been fond of the tittle’s, tho he always wants to be addressed with respect. 
“I heard that” You said in a sing-songy tone “you can sit on the poof or my bed or… the floor, my rug is pretty soft” You pointed around “if you want to stay… you seem… kinda wiged out” 
“No is just… y'know your room, is a personal thing… and we… are like…. Not like that” He mumbled 
“Right… uh… right” You mumbled looking at the clothes in your bed. All of the sudden you felt as awkward as he did now, and when you feel awkward you feel vulnerable and that puts your defenses down, the delicately constructed walls you had built up on uneven ground, cracking at the first disturbance “y’know I… uh, I know it's you who normally asks the questions but…”
“Yeah?” 
You cleared your throat still not looking his way gripping the garment on your hands “I just… I don’t get it… why me?” 
“Why you what?” he questioned, head tilting to the side slightly 
“Why ask me? I just… everyone else in this hotel had far more interesting lives than I did and I just… why?” 
“Its because… well they have been dead for so long and you are the freshest” He shrugged, not really getting why you are asking it seemed like an obvious reason why he choose you 
“No. because… no, like.. I think I am also the youngest, I lived 24 years only, I, I… I barely experienced anything, and I’m also like… Like I barely did anything to get into hell, I mean, lie, steal, scam, I’m pretty sure that a visit to any catholic church would have saved me from all of this-” You continued your ramble, now moving around your room, 
You were sort of right, yes, a visit to any church would have definitely saved you, but you shouldn’t have gone to heaven, no, he would have never met you otherwise, and although he can’t fully admit it, he enjoys you, heaven doesn’t deserve you, they couldn’t appreciate you, with their stupid strict rules. You were right, you were barely a sinner, maybe that was why he didn’t mind you as much as the others 
“I mean all I was… was a hedonistic party girl that stole wallets and and!-” 
“Well, maybe that’s why” Lucifer shrugged “you are not like the rest of them, you aren’t violent or sick or depraved-”
 “maybe a little depraved” you whispered 
“And that’s why I like talking to you, you don’t have some sort of sick twisted version of earth in your mind, you didn’t see a pond with duck and think “that’s a perfect place to dump a body”, you saw calming place, you saw earth for what it was, I like that”
You stayed quiet, glancing at him, he was still standing by the door, and you were in the middle of the room, he was looking at you, with almost a sad look, like pity but different, he wasn't looking away or just past you. 
“You should go to bed” He gave you a closed eye smile before turning around and opening the door “Charlie has a big day planned for tomorrow so you should definitely get some rest, good night” 
“Good night” You said softly watching as he left, closing the door behind him
‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙
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dead-dove-yandere · 2 days
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Seeing your content in my feed always makes my day🥺🥺 but im a huge softie teenager in love curling my toes while rolling in bed squealing like a child for Cayce, which is ironic cuz her character as a whole is
Violent 😓😍 so i was hoping to get juicy content for her cuz I've been thinking about Cayce and her development with reader? Like lowkey student president darling that always pays attention to her in an aloof manner (i can't express it but basically, nonchalant?) Or is just paying attention to her in general but like what does she feel when darling pays attention to her the same with the others? Does she start to harass the other students instead?? Or does she directly assaults darling-
Awwe, thank you!! I’m so glad you like my writing, and Cayce! I think she’s more likely to harass the other students if they were getting attention because she might find it easier to scare them off, especially since she’s already known as a mean girl. I hope this is okay!!
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You looked sternly at her bloodied knuckles as she sat with her arms crossed, refusing to look at you. You sighed, looking at the fresh yellow detention slip that was crumpled sticking out of her pocket.
“Cayce,” you say, but she turned her nose up at you.
“What?”
“You realise that you’ve set back all the work I did with Stacy to the very beginning, right? I’d almost got her on track, but if you’re getting her involved in fights, then she’s just going to go back to how she was.” Cayce turned her head and looked in the other direction, huffing. She shrugged, looked at you, then shrugged again, as if floundering for an explanation.
“Why did you fight her?”
“‘Cause she’s a fucking slag,” Cayce answered. “She’d rut against anything that moved.” Normally you’d have scolded her, but you just sighed, rubbing your eyes.
“That’s a horrible thing to say.”
“Well, it’s true, isn’t it?” She said, rummaging through her bag and pulling out some gum to chew. You shook your head, too tired to tell her to spit it out.
“Cayce, you have to understand there’s a cycle here, surely?” You asked her, pleading with her to understand. “I try and help these students get on track, you get mad and beat them up, then you get put in detention. You hate detention so then you get angry and go and take it out on the other students I’m working with. You must see that you’re doing this to yourself, right?” Cayce frowned, glaring at you as she chewed her gum.
“The real cycle is that they all think if they break a few rules they can get special treatment from you and get your attention, and you let them like a mug,” she said.
“And you’d know, would you?” You asked. Cayce glowered, pausing chewing her gum, before leaning forward, baring her teeth at you.
“You think you fucking know it all, don’t you?” You didn’t flinch, waiting for her to back up as you stared at her blankly. She slouched in her chair with another huff.
“Now we’re both stuck here Cayce. You because you can’t seem to stop this weird obsession with fighting randomers and me because I have to look after you in detention while the teachers clean up the bloodied face you gave Stacy.”
“Like you wouldn’t have been staying behind after school anyway to do something lame,” she moaned.
“I want to go home, Cayce.” Her brow furrowed more and she clenched her jaw before standing up.
“Where are you going?” You ask, startled. She shrugged.
“Home.”
“You realise you’re going to get suspended if you skip detention, right?”
“Well I thought you didn’t want to babysit me anyway,” she said, stomping to the door. She paused, then turned back to you. “And the next time I see that slag trying to get something out of you, I’ll kick her head in ten times worse.” Cayce stormed out, dashing down the hallway and out of your sight. You sighed - it was remarkable how much Cayce had actually mellowed out since you met her.
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Divider’s Credit: See Pinned Post
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rgbfall · 1 year
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Realised why I think Alan Becker's AvM stands out from other similar (i.e. any stickman plus game animation). I mean. Outside of the amazing animation and storytelling of Alan Becker, there was something else that stood out to me as different from them and I've finally figured it out.
In a lot of animations, things happen to the characters, while in AvM the characters are the ones doing something.
Let me explain that:
In other animations, the stick figures are put in a situation. They don't discover whatever game, they just get tossed into it and have to figure out the mechanics by trial and error. Like. I'm currently thinking of a terraria series, the episodes are more along the lines of "they're chilling and then something attacks them"
Now compare this to AvM. Sure things are happening to them, but that's because the characters are actively seeking them out. Like in ep6, Command Blocks, bad things happen, but it's because Yellow was curious about what else minecraft had to offer rather than things just started happening. Then, for the season 1 "finale" (aka the episodes with a connecting story), they could have very easily had none of that happen! When Blue and Green found that portal it would not have been hard to just destroy it and carry on! But they were curious, and this led them to discovering the Nether, meeting Purple, and going to the End. And this is the same with season 3! The whole thing started because Blue wanted more Nether warts, and so went and did something!
I could probably give some more examples of people want, but I feel like this is long enough already lmao. Also idk if any of this makes sense words are hard lmao
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keikakudori · 11 months
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I don't think I've said this before but I just wanted to take a moment and say that I don't practice reblog karma. If you want to reblog something from me, be it a meme, a musing, or art, then feel free! I don't care! I like it when people do that! Seriously, I'm always going to advocate for "ah yes, person reblogged a thing I like, I shall reblog it from them" in the rpc. And if I reblog something you like? Please, feel free to reblog it yourself. I won't ever ask you to send a meme in if you reblog one from me nor will I expect it; if you do, it's a pleasant surprise! But if you ever worried about it, consider this your greenlight to know that you are absolutely welcome to reblog anything but my asks/roleplay threads. I consider a reblog from me in the vein of "my humble offering has pleased my friends, yes yes, good" because I'm just that kind of person.
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sucrose-soymilk · 6 months
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hadn’t really regressed in a While and i didn’t realize how much i missed/dareisay needed it until i had the free time and ability to do so over the last few days and i have to say. i’m feeling a bit better
#imagine that! the coping mechanism… helps!!! wow#Seven’s Small Thoughts#not tagging this as anything else bc this blog is really just a not-so-secret public diary#and im not really trying to gain any sort of following or participate in the community very much#i just wanna talk to the void abt regression every once in a blue moon y’know#i also feel like i don’t really belong in the community much/am not a Good Example of sfw agere since i’m very n/ s/ f/ w everywhere else#which is a double standard that i don’t hold others to but i feel like others will hold it against me??? and i’m just shy anyways#and not looking to interact. just wanna keep all this stuff tucked away in a side-blog#i also feel like a lot of the community likes to blog while actively regressed and i don’t wanna step in there as someone who isn’t#nothing wrong with it! at all! i just don’t have the capacity to since i go nonverbal when i regress. no thoughts head blissfully empty#anyways this wasn’t supposed to be a vent post let’s change the topic!#anywhooo what else did i come on here to say. oh yeah#i lowkey forgot how much regressing has helped me in the past until i was able to really indulge myself in it again recently#it’s so nice to just be small and hand someone else the reins and forget abt everything other than doing something you enjoy#maybe one day i’ll be at a point in my life where i can fully regress more freely and more often but for now i’ll take what i can get#i’m also excited because i’ve been thinking abt ordering a paci from this one specific seller#and yesterday saw that they’re dropping a new batch of fall/halloween themed ones today!!!#so now i’ve gotta make myself stay awake until 6pm so i can jump on it when they’re available#which is a small struggle considering my nocturnal sleep schedule but i will do it nonetheless#that crescent moon patterned one Will Be Mine#trying to decide between buttercup yellow and schoolbus yellow for the clip#i think i’m more drawn to the vibrancy of the schoolbus yellow honestly#eeeeeee i’m excited i’ve been wanting to treat myself to ordering from this shop for a g e s and im finally gonna do it
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system-of-a-feather · 10 months
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Man, I really wish anything about medically transitioning excited me like it does a lot of people, but every time I get to a stage its just a wave of exhaustion and resentment that I have to go through this shit in the first place. It's probably just because every surgery and every step is a long list of inconveniences and sacrifices short term and long term that we have to go through and just more shit we have to survive through to get to where we need to be which I really just feel should have been done right in the first place - but unfortunately we don't believe in a higher power so I can't even blame anyone for fucking it up and half assing our assigned gender at birth.
I'm not excited to have to get surgery to get what I feel I should have been entitled to at birth. I should not have to go through a recovery period or ask and work with people to get what I should have been entitled to at birth. I shouldn't have to settle or accept limitations and costs for what I should have been entitled to at birth.
At most I am just relieved to be making some progress to this garbage, but unlike Riku I am very not satiated by the hypothetical of a future me enjoying the spoils of the current me's suffering if the future me enjoying it is years in the future. I don't have that ungodly probably-disordered postponement of gratification that Riku has and the closest thing I have to emulate it is saying its what I owe to the system and that I'm doing something for more than just "future me" but "future us" and that this is something the system currently greatly appreciates and thus I get in the moment gratification in knowing that I'm saving others from having to do this and / or others having to suffer without progress being done.
But I hate it. I really do and I really really wish I could be happy and excited about getting an appointment for bottom surgery progression and consult and all, but really all it is and all it feels like is a reminder - even if its a check point and moving from one stage to the next - that I have to work so much more for something I really should have had in the first place
And I'm so fucking tired of working on this.
I'm so so so fucking tired.
I'm the last person to say I should just be given something - well I should - but I don't actually believe it in most cases. I understand nothing comes to you if you just sit and hope for it to come to you and I am the most actively driven part in the system to constantly clawing at the world for what we need to be the happiest and best version of ourselves and that's one of my best skills born from redirected intense trauma and shit
But this is just - I really shouldn't have to deal with this. This shouldn't be the thing I have to claw at the most, the longest, the most persistently - and yet here it is. Here I am. Still having to claw at it.
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spiromancer · 7 months
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genuinely my favorite things in this world atm are doing drugs, lying in bed, and screen time... this shit is getting so dire
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the-trans-dragon · 10 months
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Could a person with mental illness do THIS?
*spends 20 minutes trying to respond to a text, too anxious to commit to a first word such as "Hey" versus "Hi!" versus maybe a unique catchphrase I should incorporate into my personality like "Banjo bonjour!" or, if it would be more logical, "Bonjour banjo!"*
#🙃#its a specific person who i never really decided what kind of relationship we have#maybe she was technically one of my bosses? but we started on the same day and bonded over#trying to adjust super quickly and not make mistakes (or to learn from them very quickly) and then we#had some really nice chats about our lives and families and partners#so its like. we are casual coworker acquaintances and we are Girls Who Are Friends (im not sure if she#knew i was trans and nonbinary. i think she assumed i was a woman. but the way she perceived and interacted with my gender was comfy in a#very specific way that makes me feel Okay Being Seen As A Girl. it still doesnt feel like ME. but i can fit inside it without#contorting and hiding parts of myself. kinda like the pants i bought at goodwill that definitely didnt quite fit but#my wife hemmed them a bit and i could squeeze my butt into them if i held my breath and they were a great pair of work pants for $7#anyways lol she was like a peer/mentor/cool aunt's even cooler best friend/woman you sat next to at the ER one time and she felt like you'd#known her forever but it was probably just because it was 2:30AM and neither of you had slept and were both lowkey curious if you were gonna#die before getting medical help/drunk woman who accidentally says something you've needed to hear for the past decade. lol#so idk if its a “hello” situation or a “hiya” or a “hey sup” or what. :3 well there went another ten minutes while i#rambled in the tags. okay byyyyyye.#sorenhoots
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kxllerblond · 10 months
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obligatory reminder and happy pride about/to my kitty meow meow murder npc/side character sapphics and how they're constantly smoochin and committing crimes in my head at all times. (anyway shoutout to my silly financial demon && my also silly hunter of the supernatural) despite opposing aesthetics both are very feral and i love them for it.
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yangjeongin · 1 year
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i swear i love lovestay so much but i will either cry or come close to tears Every time i hear it i have  problems
#carly.txt#2020 and earlier hyunjinators know#first half of 2021 was lowkey so hard#then carlyline w hyunjin at the helm come thru and create the most beautiful song ever#to end off that year#sometimes i randomly remember hyunjin's . fanclub only new years message after the lovestay video#where he said he realized he was loved in every season#and i cry again SDSDGSDGDDDG#bc my concern during his hiatus and scandal and all that was. does he know how loved he is among all the negative comments#does he know how loved he still is even though he made a mistake and he's not perfect#so it came as such a relief to hear him say that bc i was so worried about that that entire year tbh#SO THIS IS WHAT I THINK ABOUT EVERY TIME I HEAR LOVESTAY#like. do y'all understand how lucky and blessed we are that he even came back at all#sometimes i forget he was ever gone and then IT HITS and i'm like wow. i am so grateful u exist and we still get to exist alongside u#i am mean to him  to cope w the fact that i love a MAN THAT DOESN'T EVEN KNOW ME this much#anyway. i hope he looks back at that time in his life and isn't bitter or sad and instead sees it as something that helped him grow#and i hope that's the darkest part of his career and that he can live successfully and happily#y'all would not BELIEVE how hard i just cried#lovestay is just such a beautiful and soft and gentle song that is so full of love just like the person that made it#it means so much to me and so does he#sorry everyone i'm having an emotional week this is my second night in a row crying over something or other SDFSDGDGDG
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