#but this one felt all kinds of wrong

[dirtytransmasc]

^^ screenshot. blends in on mobile/dark mode ^^

that wasn't why she was mad though, well it was and wasn't. it wasn't that she had sex necessarily, but more the weight and nuance of it all, of Rhaenyra being the princess, who Alicent had been trying her best to serve the best interest of and protect in terms of betrothals and Viserys, having sex in a very public place. she was clearly upset and holding back tears when she confronts Rhaenyra that first time, but she isn't especially angry. she's angry when Rhaenyra lied to her face on her dead mother's name, going so far as to act upset and offended Alicent could ever insinuate anything about her, played the victim, had sex with two separate people in one night and said she was still a maiden (from Alicent's perspective she couldn't have known Rhaenyra only tried to have sex with Daemon and was unsuccessful, she could only believe that she had sex with both Daemon and Criston), and then used her power to have her father (the only person Alicent had) banished from kings landing, all the while she had put her ass on the line for her in front of Viserys, who never believed Rhaenyra to begin with. it wasn't simply the fact that Rhaenyra had sex, she's mad because Rhaenyra used her, hurt her, did harm to her name and the work both she and Viserys had put towards giving her a choice no royal girl, especially a princess, could ever imagine, and she spit in their faces.

there's also the fact that Cole admitted IMMEDIATELY what had transpired, asked not for forgiveness but for death, and admitted that it was dubcon. it's a very different situation. she also sympathized with the fact he felt great remorse for both the act of sleeping with the princess but also his breakdown that lead to the murder of Joffery. all we see is her stopping him and then a near decade has passed and they are close friends, we know nothing of how this friendship evolved, when she fully forgave him for his acts, what it took for him to earn her trust and forgiveness.

not saying either of them are saintly and perfectly correct in that situation, but you boil it down to the point that the situation is unrecognizable. you ignored all of the nuance on both sides. Alicent was never mad about the sex, upset yes, mad no, she was mad at how Rhaenyra could hurt her so horribly (amongst many other things. I don't think she, someone who shared her grief with Rhaenyra over their dead mother's, could ever get over how Rhaenyra lied on her name. me personally? I'd be sick to my stomach every time I looked at her for the rest of my days). Cole was coerced into sex, which he was honest and seeked death for repentance, had a breakdown and murdered someone (I won't defend this, you can't, he did murder an innocent person, that is a fact) but felt so guilty he tried to kill himself and seemingly spent the last 10ish years making up for it (where as I can name multiple people Rhaenyra outright in level head and mind maimed/murdered/otherwise allowed or dismissed the deaths/injury of, for her own goals and didn't give a second thought to so.... girly walks atop barely cooled corpse's time and time again).

#again #Alicent and Cole are not angels #as much as I love them I could never say that #I will say their situation is very different from Rhaenyra's #especially in how they handled it going forward #one side felt great remorse the other... not so much #one side had many justifications for their anger (even if it doesnt excuse all of their behavior) the other dug most of her own grave and #then did harm to others around her to cover it up (some blame can go to Daemon and Viserys. I can and will say that) #stop boiling down the situation to make Rhaenyra a saint and alicent the devil its tiring #alicent hightower #criston cole #rhaenyra targaryen #pro team green #anti team black #anti rhaenyra targaryen #anti team black fans #not gonna comment on the choice words they used for alicent. I don't think I can be that kind nor patient today #pro alicent hightower #my girl wasnt wrong for being angry #I would have been fucking feral #hotd #house of the dragon

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

you know if we do accept the last epilogue-esque sequence as a sort of dream/wish of ted's and therefore not necessarily canon, very funny if we then simply go "yeah, trent's book is called 'the lasso way' actually. he didn't change that. nope."

#listen on one hand #i think that like #i don't think ted actually changed trent's mind about the title #i think trent changed it because ted asked him to #and like that's especially interesting bc he even made a point of being like #'tell me if you disagree with anything and i'll tell you why you're wrong' #but he respects ted; more than that he likes him and he wants him to like the book--like him #anyone else and trent would have told them to fuck off but ted? ted asking him to change the title? yeah #i think he didn't agree with 'it not being about him'--and not bc of any feelings he may have for ted--but if we accept that him changing #the title is canon then like. he did it because ted asked. nothing more nothing less #maybe he felt he owed it to ted as the subject of the book; maybe he just respected him too much not to #maybe it's partially bc of his feelings; maybe it's because he just couldn't say no to ted #but it's ultimately just. because ted asked him. #and trent respects him; trusts him; cares about him #and that's pretty heartwrenching #but like on the other hand if we say 'no that was ted's wishufl thinking trent definitely went 'sorry ted it's called the lasso way'' #also like.... him being like. like quietly not changing it and if ted said something him just. being like #ted. i respect you. i care about you. i trust you. but with all due respect absolutely not #yes it isn't ONLY about you but YOU made this happen. YOU are special and YOU have a place here whether you can stay forever or not #yes it's about the team and the coaches yes you aren't a one man band but ted. TED. you touched lives. you changed lives. and that was YOU. #that was you and your philosophy and your attitude. #you made richmond what it is today. yes the team deserve credit too for the kind of bond they have now but YOU facilitated that #none of the coaches currently here woudl be coaches if not for you. the diamond dogs wouldn't exist. literally every single one #of our friends--OUR friends--wouldn't be where they are and probably wouldn't be as happy #you got through to people over and over again who were hurting and lashing out. to rebecca. to roy. to jamie. to nate. to me. #and you can be humble but there's being humble and there's acting like you don't matter to any of us like you didn't have an impact #like you can just leave without a trace. we don't blame you for leaving--i especially don't--but acting like we won't miss you and like #your time with all of us--our time--meant nothing is more insulting than it is humble because we /love you/ #and yes. it was the goddamn lasso way that built this place #this community.

[crabussy]

I want to take a bite out of someone's arm but I'm too shy

#it's ok to reblog this post and ignore the rant in the tags I don't mind at all /gen #hi guys #got another load of trauma from school #and I am not dealing with it well at all my legs have been shaking so badly for 4 hours now #had a panic attack so bad that my face went numb and the edges of my vision went black and my legs gave way #I hate my teacher she's horrible god I can't even go into it here there's so much #I'm tired of getting abused at school I've been to half a dozen schools and have not gotten traumatised at ONLY ONE OF THEM #I have no adults I can go to about this #whenever I try to talk with her and the head teacher about the situation and why I'm fucking terrified of her she acts so patient and kind #whenever I'm alone with her she will yell at me about everything I'm doing wrong and continue yelling even when I'm in tears #she will berate me and put me down and insult me directly #when she gives feedback she always puts effort into making it hurt #the language she uses for negative feedback is never what a teacher should say it's always personal and uses your weaknesses to hurt you #I get really bad intrusive thoughts about her hurting me physically because of how terrified I am of her #the worst part is she acts nice and sweet whenever she's not picking apart my weaknesses and being cruel about my disabilities #I felt so sick after that I haven't eaten since #vent tw #trauma tw #listen to my gibberish boy #ggod I hate this school

[good-beans]

.

#not really a vent - just a quick thought before i sleep but like. #i keep thinking about that post #theres no way ill find it now but the gist was that 'joy is a warning bell to neurodivergent brains' #and how when we feel joy it means we've loosened up and that always leads to a problem -- #whether its getting to be Too Much or saying the wrong thing or even just getting physically loose and clumsy #but it conditions the brain to see joy as something to fear #because relaxing means we're about to fuck something up #and ive been doing so well this year keeping up with and calling people #ive felt more social lately #literally everyone has been so incredibly kind to me and i want to express how grateful i am and how much i love you all #but every time i try to i get so choked up with fear #with each wave of happiness comes one of chest-squeezing fear #im not super upset or anything (its nice to know why its happening) i just wish i knew how to unlearn it ya know 🤷‍♀️ #thats all - time to sleep #its so late -_- #awww its my pals birthday now!! earth day birthday :') too late rn but ill text him when i get up #rose rambles

[biblicalhorror]

The most frustrating part of engaging in any of this discourse with pro-Israel people is that they claim there's just something ineffable about "seeing and understanding" how supporting Palestinian liberation is directly calling for the eradication of Jewish people (as if that type of rhetoric isn't exactly how actual antisemitism often manifests in online spaces but that's a topic for another day)

They get through people debunking the "the land belongs to the people of Israel anyway" argument and the "LGBTQ Palestinians are safe in Israel" argument and the "Genocide isn't what's happening here so you should educate yourself" argument and when all of those points are meticulously disproven over and over they still stand with "Well, myself and your Jewish friends see the hate you have in your heart for us" and it truly doesn't matter what you say at that point because even if you yourself are Jewish they will claim that refusing to support the state, government and military of Israel is inherently hateful and bigoted, as if a religious ethnostate is some inherent human right that is being taken away from them. I know many of them are blinded by the relentless propaganda that's been around their whole lives and how hard it is to break free from a belief system that is so tied to your core identity as a human being but it is so frustrating watching people being led straight to the point over and over again and just turning around and refusing to see it.

It's also so frustrating to see people using the momentum of this movement to casually tack on actual antisemitism to these discussions, as if having Jewish people in positions of power is why the US bends over backwards to excuse the actions of Israel and not, yknow, the fact that our government directly benefits from having a military stronghold in the middle east. I've talked to some well-meaning pro-Palestine friends irl who casually use antisemetic talking points because they've ALSO bought into the narrative that Israeli = Jewish and so they blame the actions of Israel and the IDF on Jewish people's "religious values" and ignore the fact that this conflict really has almost nothing to do with religion itself and everything to do with capitalism, imperialism and maintaining the US's status as a so-called "global power".

#dont get me wrong there are lots of people on the pro palestine side who are very much aware of and vigilant against antisemitic rhetoric #but i genuinely worry about some of my non-jewish leftist friends and allies falling down some super shady pipelines because of all of this #i spend a lot of my time on my public facing social media sharing articles and graphics and whatnot about antisemitism #and how careful we need to be when calling out these atrocities and our government's complicity in them #but when one side is genuinely claiming with no evidence or argument that being against colonial occupation is just antisemitism #it makes it so hard to call out actual antisemitism within these spaces bc it delegitimizes antisemitism as a concern #i just want to scream #like. im not even jewish and i vividly remember when we had a special lesson in girl scouts about how wonderful Israel is #and they had us make little mini versions of the israel flag and they told us that israel stood for the safety of the jewish people #and i came home and i told my mom about how cool israel was #and she promptly pulled me out of girl scouts #which at the time felt unfair because she didnt explain why #but also how do you explain the horrors of colonialism and imperialism to your newly zionist 10 year old #anyway the point is that if i as a non-jewish girl scout was exposed to that kind of propaganda #i can only imagine how inescapable it must be for many american jews in the US #and i truly empathize with the amount of unlearning that needs to be done #and how hard it must be to let go of some of these ideas #but that doesnt make it any less frustrating to watch these dynamics play out on such a massive scale #and i hold so much respect for people in white jewish communities re-educating themselves and standing on the right side of history #as well as for all of the people of color and especially American Palestinians standing up and using their voices as much as they do #personal

[the-knife-consumer]

Forgot just how upsetting gloomed korok forest is

#idk. just this one sanctuary that was different from the rest in that all of these spirits only link and a few others #can see are offering you help and safety. care uniquely for you. a bed for YOU. YOUR sword. kept safe for 100 years for YOU. #thrown together shops just for YOU because nobody else goes here or even knows it exists. #and then you return and the people who cared so much about you dont even speak to you anymore #they cant speak. they just stand there #idk korok forest made me feel the most like i fucked up somehow #rito village was bad but still livable. if things got any worse then they would have to abandon home until it settled #but no one was in immediate life threatening danger #gerudo was really REALLY bad and people were in danger. just all crammed inside a bunker. no going into town because your #home doesnt belong to you anymore #and then the zora were ... idk felt the least pressing even though it definitely should be bc like. they breathe water. #if the water is gross theyll die. but idk something about how it was executed felt less terrible #maybe they outwardly expressed more hope? idk. same with the gorons didnt feel like there was a pressing threat #but korok forest is fucking AWFUL. god #idk. nobody in hyrule talks about it because they dont know there are people there. nobody else can see them so nobody knows #somethings wrong. with no lead into it finding korok forest the way it is just feels soooo much worse. #idk. on my first playthru i kind thought i fucked up and shouldve gotten there sooner. #it just feels like no matter what youre too late and its your fault

[hella1975]

not someone commenting on tams to tell me to update taob. what if you fucked off forever

#the actual nerve of some people like it's bad enough getting those kinds of comments ON taob #bc obviously any comment along the lines of 'im literally begging you to update' is gonna piss the fuck out of a writer #BUT TO DO IT ON A DIFFERENT FUCKING FIC????? HAVE A HORRIBLE DAY #and the fact these people not only dont think they're doing anything wrong but think they're COMPLIMENTING ME #'i love your writing so much please update taob' IS NOT A FUCKING COMPLIMENT. LET ALONE ON A FIC THAT HAS NO RELEVANCE TO TAOB #WITH NO MENTION OF TAMS IN THE COMMENT EITHER. NO 'I REALLY LIKE THIS FIC. UPDATE TAOB' not that that would make it okay #but the utter audacity of it all is jarring. how are you gonna clearly have read tams and felt the need to comment #just to have NOTHING to say about it and tell me to update a different fic. actually fuck off #ending the comment with 'okay i love you' do you now. do you really. well it's unrequited babe. fuck off #you people make me mad sometimes istg #'hella why are you always so negative about taob's popularity' when i get something good out of it i'll let you know #edit: they left that comment on ch1 of tams which actually implies they didn't even read it which is somehow. worse #like they've clearly just clicked on it with no regard for the passion and effort i put into it seeing as it's a WHOLE SEPERATE FIC #and considered only that i might give the comment more attention if it was on tams not taob. what the actual fuck is the thought process #in what WORLD is someone taking that as a compliment. in what world am i gonna go 'omg writing it rn just for you bestie 🥺' #actually fuming about this idk why this one has got to me so much the utter CHEEK of it all has really knocked me sideways lmaooo

[camgoloud]

who else up feeling the soul-numbing empty hopelessness for absolutely no reason this friday night

#literally nothing bad even happened to me personally today cannot emphasize this enough #i just read one too many of the Wrong wikipedia articles during the period after the sun went down at fucking 4 pm or whatever and then #my brain just decided it was time to replay the biggest hits of the great 2020-2022 depressive episode for fun i guess #and now i’m having. a series of moments. over a series of ridiculous things #again not even specific things that have actually happened to me just the whole vague existential dread deal i guess #truly i haven’t felt this shitty without some kind of direct cause for a year and half at this point #which is having the semi-beneficial side effect of reminding me to appreciate just how good my mental health has been recently #like. remember how i used to just feel like this all the time for. actually most of my life Until a year and a half ago? damn that’s crazy #i hope i snap out of this lmao i really cannot deal with walking into the holidays as a hollow shell of a person #but i think i’ll be fine tomorrow actually pretty sure i’m just kind of sleep deprived after this week #caseyposting

[ef-1]

legs & lessons in perseverance | march '23

#so. #i fell into the fireplace lol #- thats the concise summary. but ive just been unwell health wise recently. i think ms is just harrowing to deal with #because you can go for so long symptom free and then one day you wake up and everything is wrong #your body feels wrong. #i remember being constantly angry at my body as though its a separate entity. especially when i was like 17/18. #because everytime i had a bad ms relapse i would literally breakdown in angry tears like- at my body. i was good to you. im meditating #im eating healthy. im exercising. ive been good to you. #but then suddenly you cant see or youre shaking uncontrollably or your limbs are numb #or my new favourite one: a couple of weeks ago i woke up at 4 am in a cold sweat. the inside of my thigh was burning #i dont mean like. exercise burning. i mean like struck a hot iron rod burning. it was obv nerve pain but that didnt stave off the panic #so i messaged my neurologist and hes like 'yeah its fine. wanna inject yourself?' #anyway. so recently i was helping my friend get his place houseparty ready and we were cleaning out the fire place #and my legs just gave out 😍 #and i got so angry and humiliated i kind of just wanted to go to bed and not wake up tbh #which is what i usually do but like. i was angry. angry. scorpio angry as lidya would say. so i had a nap in his bed #and when i woke up i felt slightly better and for once i thought 'im not going to let my body ruin this day for me' #and i just dragged him to the markets with me. and i still had the tremors but we bought more greens than either of us needed #and we laughed and walked and he carried me to the car at the end of the trip and it was one of the best days ive had in a long while tbh #and it feels impossible but sometimes all u need is to brush the ash from ur knees and hide the scruffs with stockings &maybe youll be ok #💚 #tw chronic illness #/ multiple sclerosis

[trashbaget]

tell me your failed/embarrassing flirting stories to make me feel better, i’ll go first: today i said “get out of my way” forgot to say “i’m kidding” then immediately said “bye”

#it is awful having feelings for someone you know and have an established friendship with #but crushing on someone i barely know is knew to me and i legit feel like an idiot every time i do something stupid like this #i can’t just. talk to the guy #if i say hey and he says sup i say ‘sup indeed’ like what the fuck is that #i can barely even say hello to him #don’t get me wrong i’ve DONE it but most days i’m like #ah fuck there he is #okay you can do it just say hi #just say what’s up #and then he’s already gone #also. like. the setting we’re in is soooo not good for talking or flirting realt because um. it’s work he’s my coworker.. so um. do i fuckin #ask him for his number?? or to hang out??? but like. he’s kind of a stranger to me what do i want to hang out for 🧍 #but like. ​i dont want to do that until i have at least one successful interaction #or like. an actual conversation. #which is gonna be really hard to manage because he doesn’t talk much at all to anyone and i really only talk if someone talks to me first or #i’ll say something absolutely idiotic and ridiculous (and honestly i do that no matter what) #anyway so um. i guess i’m just gonna keep making a fool of myself until i get it right and hopefully i don’t screw it up 🥴 #i lost all my confidence in the last year and i cant do anything chill or smooth anymore (i was never that good in the first place but at #least i could PRETEND i knew what i was doing. like i could sell it. the whole weird and lost bit.) #anyway. i felt better for like 5 minutes when some guy at the gas station flirt failed with me on the way home. but that’s partly my fault #too oops. in his defense he probably could not see that i had headphones on bc upon mirror inspection they were well blended with my hair #but i was waiting to cross the street and this guy tried to like nod and smile and i did not know it was to me until i got to the other side #where the gas station was and and like. tried again and i awkward half smiled and saw his face get all mushy and confused like mine FELT 20 #mins before when i’d flopped so hard trying to flirt and by the time i’d processed WAIT i think he was FLIRTING WITH ME i was already gone 🤡 #but at least it ended better than the poor 14yo who very confidently asked for my number #who. i shit you not. SCREECHED for a solid 44.5 seconds and bolted the other direction when i said sorry im 21 #his friends were standing there like wtf too and one was like i am so sorry about him 🤦 #cheers to being fools universe

[maya-matlin]

very UO but if they couldn’t bring back Jake, they should have stuck Peyton and Julian together as endgame over Leyton! Julian and Peyton had already supposedly been in love, they both like cities (LA, NYC etc) and it makes sense they’d live there due to their careers, and both Peyton and Julian for a lot of their time on the series seemed ambivalent about starting a family. Also, Julian is smart and on the introverted side like Lucas but a little goofy like Jake - a combination of the traits Payron goes for! Meanwhile, we saw so clearly in season 5 that Brooke and Lucas both loved being back in one tree hill, they both seem to have jobs they can do anywhere, they both very much prioritize settling down and having a family, they were already unofficially co-parenting Angie, they still have that seemingly effortless and magical connection, they balance each other out perfectly…I could go on!

Honestly, I wouldn't have minded that one bit. First of all, Peyton deserved a million times better than Lucas by the time he finally got around to choosing her. She was lacking any sort of spine or self respect when she ran to that airport. As irritating as I found her character for large stretches of season 5, ultimately she wasn't in the greatest place and only imagined that her happiness could be attainable if she won Lucas back. Now to get back to what you were saying. I definitely think Peyton was better off and would have thrived most living away from Tree Hill in a bigger city where her dreams could really take off. I mean, the show really said that because Peyton wasn't exactly where she wanted to be at age 22 that this made her a failure and retroactively meant her decision not to rush down the aisle at age 19 had been a terrible, awful, shameful mistake. Seasons 6 and 7 Julian would have made a lot of sense as a partner for the ambitious Peyton who had faced so much trauma and pain in her hometown. STRONGLY agreed about your points re: Peyton and Julian being ambivalent and sometimes even negative about settling down in Tree Hill compared to Brooke and Lucas who genuinely loved it there and couldn't imagine raising their families elsewhere. I'm aware every aspect of this was unintentional considering the possibility of a Brucas endgame post season 3 was basically taboo, but in terms of compatibility Brooke/Lucas and Peyton/Julian made the most sense. If we couldn't have Jake back for Peyton, obviously. In the end, Peyton still left Tree Hill, something Lucas never wanted. And Julian settled for staying in Tree Hill for Brooke even though he'd rather be in LA. Relationships are all about compromise, but it's interesting how their situations sort of parallel. You should go on, because I love reading your thoughts! I genuinely think if not for Peyton's continued interest in Lucas and Lucas having an unfortunate history of making the same mistakes over and over again, Lucas would have eventually ended up with Brooke. Season 5 Brucas had such an ease around each other. Their goals lined up perfectly. The chemistry was still there. Their communication was really solid and both went out of their way to emotionally support the other. Maybe it's because the pressure was off considering neither was expressing their feelings, but you see them taking care of Angie and the way Lucas considered proposing to Brooke and instinctively know that they could have had it all. It's really depressing.

#Anonymous #I know it was all for the sake of the cliffhanger but I'll never be over Lucas desperately wanting to marry someone and fantasizing about #his potential marriage to Brooke #Peyton and Lindsey make sense #Lucas literally almost married Lindsey and Peyton spent the entirety of season 5 chasing Lucas down expressing remorse over rejecting #his marriage proposal #Brooke was never technically his love interest at any point #They hadn't dated since the first episode of season 4 and the last time Lucas tried to make something happen in the flashback set between #seasons 4 and 5 Brooke turned him down #But they were taking care of Angie together and he was this emotional support for Brooke because it's exactly where he wanted to be #And I mean the airport scene where he shows up after Brooke said she could say goodbye to Angie on her own #Lucas clearly at least at the back of his mind was thinking about Brooke as a romantic prospect even if it was unspoken #I'll die on this hill especially since most fans decry the idea that Lucas was ever legitimately in love with someone besides Peyton #The fantasy was kind of bullshit because out of all of Lucas's possible wives Brooke is the only one who in reality would want to #live in Tree Hill permanently but it's like he needed to convince himself Brooke was all wrong for him as did Mark Schwahn #Like sorry you accidentally wrote them as perfect for each other for two seasons and then later had to walk it back with poor writing #And felt Peyton should give up any sort of independence and free thinking to be right for Lucas #Ignore this because these tags are a mess

[tavina-writes]

well now I'm curious about your beefs with till the end of the moon lol

Nonny, where do I even begin. Okay I'll begin with saying that @autumnslantern has probably written about this with more eloquence than I ever have and ever will, here, because Lantern is good at essay analyzing and I just shriek my frustrations like "cactus plant shrieks at clouds" into the void of my tumblr blog.

But I think the primary issue for me about TTEOTM isn't even the plot inconsistencies or the "fans of a thing that is not very good do not acknowledge that it's not very good" because neither of those two things bother me. Neither plot nor "it's not very good objectively" have ever deterred me from my love of a thing. I have watched some supremely badly created cdramas and come away feeling completely fulfilled in an iddy way and I grew up watching 80s cdramas so it doesn't matter to me if a show is camp or pretty or however.

BUT I think the reason I get bothered by TTEOTM is because I, okay, one I think I hyped it up for myself too much by going on spring planting back home when it was coming out so I was like "I WILL SAVE THIS, TO SAVOR IT ALL IN ONE GO! when I get back!!! :DDD" and also I consistently feel like I'm Charlie Brown and the Lucy-esque show writers will never let me kick the football.

My id can neither be fulfilled by the sad woobie meow meow who snaps and does murder, nor can it be fulfilled by the tragically burdened correct but suffering about it hero because this drama flip flops back and forth between these two things in a way that is just. really difficult for me to enjoy personally. Adding this to the plot and pacing difficulties as well as some of the ????? decisions in the editing room makes this very difficult for me to like.

Either TTJ is "suffers more than Jesus and is correct and good about it" or he's "tragically deranged and learns to love the world through the power of a principled bae" both of which are things I I adore and would eat with a spoon but this particular combination of "he suffers more than Jesus and is correct and good about it BUT he's also a deranged murder man who does very few actual murders and has to learn what love and goodness is through the....bae who never really expresses a lot of feelings about the world tbqh" kind of leaves me a bit twisting in the wind of "but. why though." and if I stop to ask "but why though" in a xianxia drama that's just not a good sign! I personally just didn't vibe with it.

I mean I vibed with some parts of it. I really wish there were more parts of it I vibed with. I really WANTED to vibe with more of it. But some part of me still feels like Charlie Brown being denied the ability to kick the football you know.

#till the end of the moon #tav watches cdrama #asks and answers #these are all just personal feelings but #sometimes I felt like the song montages in here were kind of...long and not very useful emotionally #but again like I said earlier xianxia is so widely variable! #what works for one person won't work for another and there's absolutely nothing wrong with liking this drama #I liked a ? good portion of this drama? #I have my frustrations with the rest of it is all

[lion-buddy]

being the resident nezuko liker is such a challenge sometimes

#ooo these tags contain complaining if u dont like that then see ya around <3 #i would love to scroll through the tag without being bombarded by. awfulness. both bot and fandom posted #yknow. yknow. that is a 12 yr old #it has become!!! genuinely frustrating! it always has been #and i dont mean to complain but. man. im just disappointed #and.while kinda begin the kny mascot she is barley present in fan made content. with meaning. and its all mostly reposted art ugh. #and even official stuff has her only as little child nezuko and!! i get it its cute whatever but it feel so pandery and wrong all the time #i just poitn. that is not her that is a facet u r choosign to hyperfocus on show me the real her #and lets be honest the og stroyline isnt kind to her etiher she is nonexistent after swordsmith #i remember for a time when idid post abt her i was one of the inly consistent nezuko artists who wanted to like. put her in scenarios #and i want reiterate again that drawing cute art and gifs of her is fine it doesnt hurt anyone. i love to see it actually #but like. in a fandom as big as this youd think. youd think they like her more!!!! but no #and. the last thing i want to insinuate is “if u dont like my fav character then u suck” cus thats is not how fandom content works. at all #fandom is a experience for u to cultivate for yourself. and sometimes it just comes up short!!! i guess #it jsut felt weird being lonely in your liking of an aspect of the series where there are so many ppl. yet they all only like the hot men. #which again. u do u. nothign wrong with it. its anime afterall. it can just be frustrating sometimes. #idk! im also not very social so maybe its just my fault but. man. id love to find some other resident nezuko likers that. isnt just shippin #i feel interacting would be so much easier if my fav was like. one of the main boys like everyone else. or i made ship content or somethin #but like i said fandom is for u and u only if that makes sense. the point is to create things u want to see. which is what i do and enjoy #just with nezuko specifcally. i dotn want to put my stuff of her in the tags anymore cuz i just. dont trust the fandom with her. its weird #but also. appreciate those who did interact. i hope ur all doing alright <3 ty for talkign with me :] #i just needed to get this out cuz its. kinda why i dotn post abt kny anymore. especially the s3 fandom im sorry i just dont vibe with it </

[leatherbookmark]

an interesting thing abt jgy antis is like. where is the source of their, shall we say, negative opinion of jgy? like, 1. jgy is a villain, he does horrible things with no remorse, he’s willing to do everything to achieve his selfish, egotistical goals. --> 2. the source of this claim: this, this and this scene. --> 3. alright, but to me -- says someone who’s not an anti -- this reads differently. that he did all those things, and did them on purpose and without remorse, is not that obvious to me. why do you think that? --> 4. well, obviously because he’s a villain and does horrible things with no remorse.

like... he’s evil because he does bad things, and he does bad things because he’s evil. i’m interested in how antis came by those opinions, but a, unfortunately i have them all blocked, and b, even if i or someone else made a poll, it wouldn’t be authentic because no sane anti is going to say “well, people hated him and wrote all those things about him on twt, so i started hating him as well”, or “i only care about wgxn, you could sell me anything about other characters if your arguments were convincing enough because i zoned out during the parts when wgxn weren’t on screen/pages of the book”. it’s all “written in the book/shown in the show” and “logical arguments you’d agree with if only you could read”.

#thinking back to my early c/q/l days where i reblogged this dumb ass meta abt how jgy FOR SURE pushed lxc away because he WANTED HIM #to be tormented by uncertainty forever. like 'the worst person you know just saved your life; what now' kinda thing #i was like oh... THIS IS SO RIGHT... because it felt bittersweet and painful and i am Still guilty of accepting/agreeing with headcanons #or interpretations that aren't 100% what i think because i have this ingrained idea that other people are always more mature and #sophisticated and smarter than me and so they Know Better #the person (i think?) later went on to write a meta abt how jgy is a badwrong narcissist. so #(this is also the reason why i spent months praising and getting excited abt a fic where jgy was dating nmj for like a decade despite #not loving him; and why he cheated on him many times with lxc Just Because. i didn't think jgy would do something like that but everyone #else was like omg this is SOOOOO good so i was like shit i guess it is! IT'S SOOOO GOOD OMG;;;;; have i mentioned i have no brain on #my own? yea) #anyway i'm not gonna paint myself as this genius from the first watch because I Too had wgxn goggles fucking ON and didn't even notice #the box hand touch during my first watch. (have i mentioned i am not very smart or observant) and when wwx was whistling ghosts at jgy #and jgy was clearly Going Thru It in the guanyin temple i was like 'haha good for him' #but iirc i Was nonetheless drawn to him (although xy was first <3) and it was like. well he's evilbad but maybe he felt bad when he murdered #his child? --> well maybe he's not 100% evilbad... maybe... --------------> a-yao did nothing wrong and i will kill you if you even suggest #otherwise. (<-- a joke.) #anyway a whole bunch of antis seem like kindasorta stuck in that initial wgxn-centered; everyone else either has 2 personality traits Max #or is either wgxn allies (good) or wgxn Haters (we hates them forever!) just like. unwilling to accept any new viewpoints At All #and then there are Types of those jgy antis because you have people who hate him for Other Reasons and people who hate them because they. #honestly seem like they've only read moralistic books for young children where the brave kind hero is the one you're supposed to cheer for #and want to be like; and the villain has all the traits you're supposed to know are Bad (mean greedy selfish lazy etc) AND NOTHING ELSE. #its like that *man who only saw boss baby watching another movie* damn this is giving me some serious boss baby vibes ! meme #anyway. love it when the tags are 3x longer than the post. cheers #shrimp thoughts