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#but through my Malex lens things are looking pretty good rn
ladymajavader · 3 years
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I love everything you said about the difference between malex and m*luca in the parallel scenes. I’ve been thinking about that too in regards to how Michael reacted to either. With her, he always seemed to be walking on eggshells or apologizing, for whatever reason he decided that was a relationship he needed to keep going so he seemed to just go along with whatever she said.
With Alex though. Like you said, Alex responded with a joke and Michael immediately told him it wasn’t a funny matter, he already feels comfortable with his concerns and fears and voicing them. And then in the scene after the ledge, it’s clear Michael is worried but upset and he doesn’t really try and hide it while still talking rationally with Alex about it.
It’s just so blatantly obvious the difference in relationships but also in Michael himself and how he’s himself and comfortable in being himself around Alex, like he always has been. I hope all that made sense, I’m just rambling I think!!
Yes Nonnie, your rambling makes perfect sense to me, these are also the paths my train of thought takes (see my ramblings below:P). Like I said on that post, if the show didn't want us to compare and contrast those two relationships, they shouldn't have made them sides of a love triangle. It's a plot device geared towards making the audience choose sides and compare options - should our main be with option A or option B? Which is better for them in the long run?
There was this brilliant post s about how RNM completely botched the execution of the love triangle as a plot device by not allowing Michael to ever make comparisons, but still the audience sees and compares those two relationships, inevitabley weighing - which is better (for Michael)?
And this (Speedily) Established Malex gives a lot of parallels to consider, but what interests me the most rn is what you zeroed in on perfectly - the difference in Michael himself and his comfort around his partner.
In 2x01 he pushes Alex away claiming that he never said no to him and always went where Alex wanted him to - and then he promptly falls into exactly that kind of dynamic with M. 
He was a pretty good boyfriend to M - we all saw him trying very hard, communicating, sharing personal stories, doing stuff for her, compromising. The problem was he gave all power into her hands and didn’t get anything back - not that we saw on screen. All the speeches on feelings were from him - the closest she got was that “I’ll never leave you alone” line which was used to shut him up about his concerns for her health and to stop pestering her about making a compromise and making his opinion a factor in her choice about her life. Funny, it’s almost as if TPTB knew that they didn’t have a future together and that translated into the character making choices for herself, without considering Michael, because she was building her own future, not theirs. 
We’ve been shown them communicating, but we’ve never seen her listening or at least letting Michael’s opinions inform her actions. And he really had no way of knowing how she felt about them other than if she currently wanted him around. And here he was, the person who all his life pushed everyone close to him away before he could be abandoned, trying SO HARD to be good enough not to be abandoned. 
Contrast that with Alex, who spends entire season 2 and beyond basically proving his love and devotion to Michael. Michael has no reason to doubt how he feels (he has a whole song about it), what he would give up for him (life, livelihood, sanity and happiness) and most importantly - that however Michael hurt him, he'd always be there for him and ultimately come back. Combine it with the dramatic "burn the world down" declaration and “piece I cannot live without” that solidifies Michael's understanding that Alex will always make choices with them both in mind, since he doesn’t see a future for himself in which Michael doesn’t exist and isn’t safe and happy - and no wonder he's so confident in their relationship. 
Even though it's so fresh, even though the demons of their past mistakes haunt them both, in 309 Michael doesn't doubt for a minute that Alex changed his mind or ran away when he doesn’t show up for their date. Michael forgives instantly, we don’t see him reverting into old habits of lashing out because he was hurt/felt rejected, because he didn’t feel rejected! He knows whatever mistakes Alex makes, Michael is always his top priority. He has the confidence that as much as he gives of himself, he will receive from Alex in return tenfold. And we see that Alex not just lets him talk, but actively listens and let Michael’s opinions, emotions and concerns inform his choices. Because he’s builiding a future FOR THEM.
tl;dr the difference in Michael between those two relationships is mostly based on confidence and trust in the commitment of his partner. And whatever comes next from the show I’ll be forever grateful that they’ve shown that so deeply ingrained, trauma-induced maladaptive behaviors and habits that hindered Michael in froming and maintaing a good relationship can be overcome, and not by supressing, but by having total trust and support from his partner.
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