#but tog has my heart rn

[ongreenergrasses]

tagged by @anosrepasi 💜💜💜 thank you my fellow previous night shift crew and writing friend!!!

1) how many works do you have on AO3?

58

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

224,834 although that is about to skyrocket

3) What fandoms do you write for?

right now tog, thg, and good omens. i am done with longfic for tog but i still do shorter works and prompts. if i think about the behemoth for too long i’ll just start laughing hysterically so i try not to but that’s uh. that’s a long motherfucker

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

almost a thing my heart could endure sweeps, then it’s and so they did., this is the way i’ll love you, on loyalty, and he ain’t heavy, he’s my brother . imo out of those fics on loyalty is definitely the best and i’m really glad that so many people liked it

5) Do you respond to comments?

yes! Sometimes it takes me a good long while but i respond to all my comments. if i’m posting something regularly then i will respond to comments as i post but otherwise it can take up to a year sorry everyone

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

mmmm probably I lie

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i do bittersweet i don’t really do happy, but i think The Logic Of Color has a happy ending!

8) Do you get hate on fics?

the closest i got to hate was with be on your way because it’s Joe/Nile, but i wouldn’t consider it hate per se

9) Do you write smut?

sometimes. i’m learning and people have been very kind

10) Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i was writing fic back in 2011/2012 and that was the wild fucking west. i loved it. i wrote something that was Rose Tyler/Loki and people actually liked it which blew my fuckin mind but that’s just how things were back then

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

afaik no

12) have you ever had a fic translated?

no but i’ve thought about translating a couple of mine myself

13) have you ever cowritten a fic before?

no, there were a couple times i briefly flirted with the idea and casually talked to people about it but the moments have passed and rn i don’t really know what i’d cowrite

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

i’ll be real with you i’ve kind of stopped engaging with media through the lens of shipping…like obviously you still find me writing fics but actual ships and shipping itself isn’t nearly as important to me as it used to be. HOWEVER. i’ve been a johnlock girlie since about age 5 so that’s the longest running ship and probably my favorite

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i finish all my WIPs lol i’ve abandoned two fics in my life and my current WIPs are either a) still in the brain or b) finished and being revised within an inch of their lives

16) What are your writing strengths?

i write about a lot of difficult topics and i do it as carefully and respectfully as i can while not making it so dark as to turn people away. i think i’ve got that balance down. of course these things are experienced differently by everyone so my work won’t always resonate and i’m aware of that and fine with it

17) what are your writing weaknesses?

dude idk. everything at some point or another? at least that’s what it feels like. a thing i consistently really struggle with is i feel like I can get way too florid and indirect with language, which in some contexts is fine, but in others really fucking distracting

18) thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

oh boy do i ever have thoughts. but I’ve collected them and because i mostly write third person limited, i don’t put dialogue in other languages in fic for 2 reasons. a) if the character would understand the language, i translate the statements being made in it into English because the story is being conveyed in English and that’s how the character would show their understanding. b) if the character would not understand the language, they would be unable to recognize the words and express them because it’s third person limited. the exception with this is if there is an untranslatable word that has no English equivalent. that i’ll keep in the original language

however. with the behemoth there are consistently two languages being spoken and intermingled throughout. i have kept all the dialogue in English but the parts that are being spoken in Spanish, i am translating from Spanish back into English to try and keep the cadence and vocabulary. it is hard as hell and i know that people will not notice but it matters to me ig

19) First fandom you wrote for?

DOCTOR WHO BABY

20) Favorite fic you’ve written?

i think the best fic i’ve written is hips but all my work has a special place in my heart. every fic means different things to everyone and i’ve gotten incredibly meaningful and powerful comments on things that i didn’t think were really my best, which made me like those fics more. you never know what will resonate with people and what won’t!

tagging @isabellehemlock @goldheartedsky @unintentionalgenius @genyathefirebird @godihatethisfreakingcat @scorchedhearth and any other writers who would like to!!

#tags of earthly delights #anosrepasi #long post #my writing #I actually consider myself very fortunate to be as unpopular of a writer as I am bc honestly. writing smaller more niche things that I want #to write is so much more satisfying. and then the people who actually care will make themselves known and i’m not having knock down #drag em out fights and drama in the comments #also i always feel like every hint i drop about the behemoth is going to give it away. and then I realize it’s so fucking contextless that #unless you’re somehow a mind reader i’m just saying things that make no sense

[unknownspecies]

Ship your moots with characters they don’t know!

since all of you guys are weebs i cant do any animes

So im throwing a curveball and shipping yall with book characters !!!

@daiception x horace rangers apprentice

HORACE MY HUNGRY HIMBOOOO. hungry hungru himbo. a swordsman soldier through and through and knows all the rules. but wont hesistate to break them for youuuu. hes vv direct with his love (srsly questions his friends who try to be discrete with their crushes hes like “just tell them ?? Tf??” bby it doesnt work that way 😭) but will move the mountains for you

@zorotits x grey cursebreaker series

ive inly read the first book and am reading the second rn. but !!! grey is a commander of the royal guard. so he’s incredibly loyal. to the point where he’ll die for you. so. this man. poor man. needs a damn break. give him a much needed massage. and he’ll teach u how to swordfight in return. then he’ll fight u with his sword ;) he loves like no other and wouldnt do any pranks with you. but would def try to cover your tracks if you do. wont hesistate to tell you “i told you so” if you do get caught tho 😐 mf do ur job and cover me tf. but vv loving nonetheless

@chosovixen x the darkling grishaverse

i hate the darkling (wow what a wonderful way to start this) but i def see the appeal if he wasnt a murdering psychopath. dream sex ;) but will conquer kingdoms for you and will flirt with you and show you ur true potential. 

@httpghostface x rowan/lorcan throne of glass

rowan and lorcan are two ppl that i shipped u with (even better if they both take you ;) theyre “rivals” so itll def be interesting) rowan is someone who doesnt show much emotion and lorcan is someone who doesnt have much emotion. but they both love with all their broken and scarred hearts. lorcan is the living def of a tsundere he will literally deny u in front of their friends and it will literally be yalls wedding like???tf??? will no doubt kill fy (has before) and will treat u like the queen u deserve to be treated as

@reverie-starlight x shade red queen

shade is menace. a flirtatious, teleporting, handsome menace. you two would definitely create a secret language and shit talk your friends in front of them. and the best part is. this language is silent, all in the eyes. so itll just be 👀. 👀👀. 😏🙄😒. 🥱🤨😊. 👀😐😩. 😏😎🥴. and ur friends are like “are yall having a stroke tf is going on here tf. jessica lets get out of here call 911”

@ushiwhacka x cassian acotar

Cassian is a himbo with 1.23 braincells and 0.76 of them are in the wind rn lost and never to be found. an absolute sweetheart. basically a calmer more horny bokuto essentially. he has wings so touch and caress them and see what happens ;) will crawl to you even if he was half dead (happened before) and will absolutely cause chaos with you whenever and wherever. accidentally blew up a building and has heavy allergies but will no doubt fill donuts with mustard and hand them over to his murderous friend just for shits and giggles. Will frame u tho but dw his murderous spy friend will give him a few bruises after >:)

@https-bachira x rowan tog 

ROWAN IS A SON OF A BITXH (affectionately) literal grump. but. will skin people alive fy (he did for his soulmate ;) ) he will push u past ur potential and his canines 👀😩. he wont tolerate any bullshit towards him or you but he will watch ur bullshit towards other people. sass everyone but him (unless u want something else 😏)

@crescentkaze x dorian tog

DORIAN MY BBY BOY 😩😩😩 you only need to know one thing. invisible. hands. 😏😏😏. now. dorian used to be vv charming. but after a certain incident hes vv quiet. BUT HES STILL A SEXYMAN AT HEART. he will strike down the stars for you (he almost did for his first love) and he will never hide it. hes the type to do the flustering but show a little spunk and hes sure to be the one blushing (but youll pay for that later dw ;) )

@nanamoonie x aedion tog/gilan ra

nownownow aims 😏😏😏 aeidon and gilan are both vv charming men. i couldnt pick fy. aedion is a charming general plagued by harsh memories (so vv good for hurt comfort) yet is a horny mf that cant keep his hands to himself. he is vv affectionate and will push u past ur limits. gilan is an absolute sweetheart. also vv charming and will compliment u and look at u as of ur the only girl in the world !!! im jealous frfr 

@toorumi x kenji shatter me/nikolai grishaverse

kenji is an absolute menace frfr a very jokester type of person yet would be serious when needed. hes the comedic relief in the series yet hes also my fav character as well 😩 he can turn invisible so be ware for any pranks !! dw ull get him back. i also shipped u with nikolai (hes my favorite fucking character ever i want this man right here) a true charming prince turned king, but an innovator and strategic pirate as well (although he would say privateer) he speaks in nothing but flirtations (reminds u of someone?) and will not hesistate to blow up a building by accident. a true match fy frfr (pa these guys got fashion sense so it kight be a turn off fy 😭💀👀)

@sookisaurus x rhysand acotar

Risu would definitely go well with Rhys. hes a vv supportive character that both lifts u up and pushes u to get past ur limits. yet would immediately back off the moment he sees u starting to strain (unless its in bed ;) ) hes the vv charming type (much like kuroo) and is vv affectionate. not to mention his wings are vvvv sensitive ;) a powercouple to be feared frfr

#interact with the unknown #known species: nini #gojo lover 2000: lina #known species: reverie #local lipstick business owner: rika #sexyback lover: jay #known species: kaze #my loving menace ;) : aims #my lovely wife: bay !! <3 #pretty princess: risu !! <333

[helieosphere]

Kei’s yearly 2023 retrospective

cw: long, mostly positive vibes, gender stuff

Since twitlonger is dead I have to move my yearly thought wrap up to tumblr! Which tbh is better for these kinds of posts anyways.

HIIIII welcome to a post I’ve stared making since I had my first cosplay instagram (which doesn’t exist anymore-) in which I just kinda reflect on the year and look forward into the future. Basic stuff! Overall, this exercise has been a welcomed gratitude lesson and has maintained it ever since over three platforms now.

So, 2023…what was up?

I have nothing but positive things to say about the year overall for my own personal self. This was the most personal growth I’ve had in any given year for the better. I took risks, I stuck my neck out there and was rewarded. I’ve met a number of amazing people who all inspire me in some shape or form and I’ve gotten much closer to the people who’ve remained in my life. I’ve become my own person and I couldn’t of said that represents me accurately for any other year prior to this even if I tried. That being said, before going into my gratitudes, I wanna acknowledge that overall 2023 was a crappy year. Like Jesus the world is on FIRE and I’m exhausted of rehashing the same arguments OVER AND OVER again but I’ve remain steadfast and I’m glad I have the privilege to find peace in chaos rn despite what life threw at me which is probably why my takeaway is relatively good things and wanting to look forward.

Anyways…the good stuff and my thank yous!

this year was the year I fully realized my gender identity. I didn’t really feel confident in who I was as kei, this little guy who was just fucking around for so many years, aimlessly, without a goal in mind. But as I got accepted to do my own research, took some gender studies courses, I kinda realized where my heart lies and how honest I had to be with myself in order to feel at peace with my own body. Sure, I still have dysphoria and damn, I dealt with a lot of misgendering and transphobia this year. It will never be eradicated and never will be until the day I die. But this year was the best case of me willing to live my life authentically and letting myself be free despite these challenges. I’ve always had issues of people pleasing and wanting to always put my best foot forward but that led to major empathy burnout. And, although I’m not completely free of my bad habits, I’ve learned to exhaust my energy more sustainably and have loosened up. I’ve become sillier, more outgoing, more assertive, more creative—you name it. This all was possible through the support systems I’ve maintained and developed in 2023.

Firstly, my partner. What to say? Idk, I say a lot to him already and so I’ll just briefly gush. He is the shining beacon of my life. He is the most stable part that I’ve always been able to lean on for support and care. He has helped me through so much, and knowing he’s there lighting up a pathway to the safest point forward has been something that has helped me tremendously. I’m not sure words can accurately describe how much he does for me, especially considering our distance, but I’ve never met someone more patient and passionate about what he loves. He has so much care put into the things he’s willing to make the effort for and has been an all too willing victim to my crazy ideas. He is my biggest cheerleader, and I could not have become the person I am today with his unwavering love and support. He has LITERALLY dealt with the worst of me (high school) so honestly pls just give him props for that alone.

Secondly, my roommates turned NEW CONVENTION GROUP! They’ve become so very into cons and cosplaying with me it’s cute. In turn. I’ve become a K-pop Stan so idk equal trade off? They’ve taught me to be unapologetically myself and to never settle for second best. I was very nervous moving to California alone with no existing support system but they’ve taught me to love it. Besides that, we’ve just experienced a lot of new things together and throughout it, have found each other waiting at the other side wanting to do more and push each other to be the best and worst people we can possibly be. They inspire me to no end and I’m glad I’ve got this other layer of safety I feel comfortable being myself in. Thanks, y’all are the best and I can’t wait for more cons with you in the future.

Third, everyone who I had the pleasure of meeting at a con AKA new mutuals. Hi! I get really nervous to reach out to new people but I wanted to speak on how much these positive interactions with people have really carried my confidence forward. Although I just gassed myself up for being more outgoing, I still struggle to feel comfortable enough to reach out to ANYONE because of insecurities I have about reading social cues and assumptions of good will being taken advantage of. It’s something I’m working on! But geez, thanks to the cosplay community—more specifically the ffxiv community—for reigniting my love for crafting and cons in general. Im for one super happy I even made the decision to start yotsuyu and finish her for fanfest because she’s a labor of love that got me to be bold enough to GET ON A STAGE and perform a fun little skit despite my stage fright. I now know so many COOL CRAFTERS and AWESOME PEOPLE who are absolutely incredible at what they do and have been nothing but nice to me :( seriously, can’t thank y’all enough. This game has given me so many wonderful interactions that Im just full of it. I don’t really like my yotsuyu as there is SO MUCH WRONG about it’s construction that I can’t really get over also because I absolutely got in over my head but I’m grateful people seemed to love it anyways and I’ve come to both ground myself as a crafter but also know I can always improve with time and that I have gotten so much better. EXCITED TO SEE YALL NEXT FANFEST, ANOTHER CON, WHATEVER! I do hope we all can cross paths again! Special shout-out to my fanfest roommate who was willing to travel to Vegas with someone whom he’s never met before irl and have the best time with me. We really bonded and he’s the reason why i was able to unpack a lot of my insecurities and basically be the best version of myself. Seeing eorzea symphony live was life changing and it’ll be an unforgettable night in my memory for the foreseeable future. Cons were the highlight bar none and I am already painstakingly working on another cosplay rn because I wanna push myself and I’m full of inspiration beans. Cons have been a really huge beacon of light during my roughest moments (especially this year) so I do hope this good track continues to surprises me more and inspire me to do better and better with my cosplays for the foreseeable future.

Lastly, a short note for my static. Idk if I need to keep talking about then from year to year but they’re like my second family and although we’ve had a rough time this year, I still am glad I was able to meet them and stick through it. Seriously, they make me happy even if my love for savage raiding got killed because of abyssos…I might not make it another year just cause my life is dramatically changing in 2024 and time is SO SPARSE but I hope I can still make time :) weirdly the second most stable part of my life but hey, it’s cool I’m able to still say that.

Other things that touched me this year was finishing my thesis, my internship that taught me I can age beautifully as a trans person, concerts, my MOTION GRAPHICS JOB??

I honestly have a lot more to say but my hand is getting tired of typing so I’m ending it here. I hope shit is able to get so much better from here for all of us cause goddamnit we really need it. But I’m glad I could reflect on the things that kept me sane because sometimes that’s all I really need to keep on chugging along in life.

Happy 2024 y’all!

#kei rambles #cw: long post

[elviratheepic]

Idk if I'll stick with this, but I've been in hospital for over a week now and I can feel my brain turning to mush, so I'm thinking it might be good to post like a journal thingy here. I can just throw my thoughts to the void and if anyone feels like throwing any thoughts back at me, maybe I'll reminded what human interaction is lol

And who knows, maybe some bits and pieces of my experiences rn might be handy to someone who ends up seeing it. This is a weird time for me, maybe someone else around here's having, has had or will have some similar weird times and we'll have made a little connection even if we don't speak :)

I mentioned it briefly in a post on my art blog, but to flesh it out a bit, I've been generally run down and really quite unwell like all summer and now into autumn. Been back and forth to the doctor, told I have chest infections, possible asthma, etc. I get booked in for an xray and then something looks weird so a ct scan, still thinking it's pneumonia with some odd symptoms, then a couple days later I get a call from my doctor telling me i am going to the hospital asap, there's a bunch of fluid in my chest that should not be there and also they need to check for lymphoma. I've never been to hospital for more than an orthodontist appointment and while not as surprised as I could be expected to be by the thought of cancer due to having had a weird anxiety fixation thing on the idea for a while (fun coincidence), it was still a bit of an ordeal lol. This was 10 days ago and I have not been home since. I've been coping pretty well considering the wild lack of control I feel over literally anything rn. The steroids they've got me on rn while I wait for further treatment have me feeling better than I have in a long while, and mentally the worst I've been dealing with is some fairly mild dissociation. Just kind of taking things as they come for now, rolling with things as best I can especially while so many things are kind of a bit up in the air and subject to change.

But I mean drama aside, the current diagnosis for me is pretty good. The cancer as it appears right now is treatable and has a pretty great cure rate. It's a "primary mediastinal large B-cell lymphoma" according to the leaflet I've got. It's high grade, so fast acting and aggressive but that actually makes these easier to get rid of than low grade slower working ones. It's hanging out next to my heart so that's the reason I've had all these bullshit symptoms in my chest cuz it's just been fuckin shit up in there and irritating its roommates. They've got me booked in for a pet scan day after tomorrow cuz the scanner was having issues so they couldn't get me in sooner, then the plan is to start chemotherapy the next day. Which will be an experience. The treatment plan we've basically already decided is 6 21-day cycles of chemo where I'll be in hospital for about 5 days getting monitored and adjusted treatment, then going home for the rest and coming back to start the cycle again. It's not going to be the most fun and easy experience of my life but tbh I've done hard things before and I know I'm capable of doing this. Not that this kind of thing can ever really come at a "good" time, but I think that personally I'm pretty lucky this came along at the point in my life it did. I've been able to spend the last couple years basically building myself back up from feeling entirely lost, shattered and directionless after a pretty traumatic attempt at university durring covid lockdowns. I'm maybe lacking in some life experience people my age tend to have, but ultimately I have confidence, strength and self-awareness now that I do not take for granted. Basically I got the chance to reinforce my foundations in unkowing preparation for this whole thing. Honestly, I'm kind of just curious who I'll be on the other side of this experience - wherever that may be.

My main concern has been my siblings. I'm the oldest of 3 and we're all very close, spend a lot of time together and are at the core of eachothers' support systems. One of them's got college stress and deadlines, the other's out of school with anxiety issues rn, and my instinct is to be there as a support. And of course they would be supporting me too, it's not all give, they're amazing at being there for me too especially while I've been unwell (I love them so so much and I'm proud of everything they do can you tell lol). But while they have been visiting when they can, we don't get so much time together rn with me being in hospital and I feel like it's hard to get a gauge on how things really are with eachother at the moment which is rough with there being so much change going on rn. I know we'll figure things out, but I can't help worrying about them a bit, I feel like it's kind of my job lol

Oof can you tell it's getting late and my brain's going sleepy ramble mode? Idk if I'm even making much sense but hey

The ward I've been moved to for this is good. It's a cancer ward for teens and young adults with a common room area funded by the teenage cancer trust. There's guitars, a ps4, craft supplies and free snacks. It feels so weird that like that space is for me to use, like I'm kinda tresspassing on something for people who need it more than I do. But the ward's fairly quiet and not so busy at the moment, so when my siblings and briefly my friend came to visit me today, we basically had free reign of the space without having to disturb anyone. I feel more comfortable in there than I did, and I think it's a good space for my siblings to be when they come visit. I'm really greatful they get to use it with me - even if I feel kind of like others deserve the space more (ik im being silly), seeing them get good use and some fun out of it today was good and reassuring. It's reassuring to hear people talking about there being support systems for siblings too should they need them. Especially when it feels like I can't look out for them so much in the ways I normally would.

But yeah, I think that's about all that's in my brain for right now. I'll look back on this tomorrow and realise none of this actually made any sense lol

But yeah basically got thrown a bit of a curveball lately as life tends to do, but there's answers now where there wasn't before, and the path ahead's starting to make itself visible. It sucks, but I've been worse. I'm not just saying that for the sake of offsetting the fact that it sucks, I'm just taking the the little wins where i can cuz I know that's gotten me through plenty rough and sucky times before.

Some little wins:

Woke up to magpies outside the window this morning. One came right up to the glass to say hi, but I couldn't snap a picture in time lol <3

My friend brought me a rainbow sensory slug companion, and I made a pipecleaner creature named Spigley while my siblings were here. They are friends and will be my chemo companions :)

(Idk if that's a mouth or a moustache but i think it suits him either way)

#elv talks #long post #chemo chronicles #i guess lol #cancer tw #hospital tw #ask to tag

[featherymalignancy]

i know you’re not super active on here anymore, so idk if you’ll see this but i just want you to know that i reread ‘navy suits and chelsea boots’ just to feel something and like…….. mission accomplished. i am a puddle of mush rn. it was everything i remembered it to be and more

Ah this means so much to me! Navy Suits was the story that kicked off the ACOTAR/TOG modern AU-verse, so it always has a special place in my heart. I’m so happy to hear it’s still able to bring people joy! ♥️♥️

#feathery answers #navy suits and chelsea boots

[crochcnqueen]

No thoughts, just “And there is only one witch who will be my queen.”

#tog #throne of glass #kingdom of ash #kingdom of ash spoilers #koa #koa spoilers #spoilers #manon blackbeak #dorian havilliard #manorian #i s2g i'll get back to my regularly scheduled content and gif posts soon #but tog has my heart rn

[titsthedamnseason]

im not even shitting you i feel pathetic i sat down to fold laundry and figured id watch this tower of dawn interview as background noise AND WOUND UP CRYING THREE TIMES???? AND ONE OF THEM LASTED LIKE 10 MINUTES?? LIKE ARE YOU SHITTING ME I WANTED TO KNOW YRENE’S FAVORITE COLOR NOT HAVE THE MOST EMOTIONAL HOUR OF MY LIFE???????)(*&^%$#@

#it started out so chill and then all of a sudden BAM holocaust story BAM heart attack BAM sjm is pregnant (which wasnt even NEWS to me) #eye- there are no words rn i dont even know what to say im so mad #now my chest has that heavy/emotional feeling ??? r u kidding #at the end i thought she was gonna have some stupid announcement like haha new exclusive addition changing the koa release date smth lowkey #and then she goes 'im pregnant!!!!!!' and the audience LOST their shit i was like how did i get here #mine #ANYWAY #juli reads tog 🤭

[citrinecanary]

I finished Throne of Glass today... woo 1!! (11/26/18)

#time for a rant (but not really) #just finished TOG #it was ... fine #im gonna continue w the series bc ive heard it gets better and im curious #especially bc my roommate and some at my friends at school would DIE for this series #and then the majority of the blue betty crew hates it so... i wanna pick a side lmao #my most pressing thought rn is that other than the whole ‘ooh heyy caleana i see youre hanging out with dorian FUCK ME INSTEAD’ thing #i really like chaol and his relationship with caleana #and i know there are 6 other books and its gonna become a love triangle and shit is gonna go to hell #but... for now im gonna like it. #also dorian is... fine? #christine did a video of all her ‘book boyfriends’ and dorian and liam stewart tied for second place #but im like... i dont see it? like hes nice i guess but idk perhaps liam stewart just has my heart for all eternity and thats great w me #also extreme highlight of the book: PUPPY. CANNOT WAIT FOR MORE PUPPY. #anyway thats it for now #im reading what if its us next and i cant wait aicbksa #have a good day!!!

[nessiancalore]

Hello my children

I just finished the book and I want to talk about it, so -- obviously -- spoilers ahead.

First I want to talk about the fact that this writing was AMAZING for me.

I used to get the feeling that sjm had one type of writing with tog and another with acotar (tog being my fav and ccity I have to reread to get into a bigger understand) but this book OMG.

I'm not talking exactly about the way she did it (though I loved the small chapters) but the things she decided that were important.... We got so many good stories about the courts, history, THE ILLYANS history, that was fucking amazing.

The second thing: how she handled the girls. They found each other,they loved each other even not knowing what """" they've done"""", Gwyn, Emerie and Nes are EVERYTHING and YES their stories ARE worth telling.... Sarah made their growing really good, made them take their time and that last scene when they tell each other everything, I cried SO MUCH, it was really well done for me.

I'm gonna talk about nessian first, then Nesta.

Nessian... Their development, the fact that Sarah made them already know about the bond (BITCHES WE WERE RIGHT) but " not act upon it" and Cassian making mistakes (because that's how it works) and Nesta even when he did kinda "understanding" and the scene when she tells him everything they indeed found healing in each others arms.

And the sex... Guys..... THE FUCKING SEX... I knew it would be 😳😳, but I was NOT expecting both of them enjoying a little pain, saying stuff like " think of you. Of your cock." or “I love being so covered in your seed that it leaks out of me for ages afterward. I love feeling it slide down my thighs and knowing you left your mark in me.” THAT WAS BRUTAL.

Anyway... Nesta Archeon.

There were a lot of quotes and things that Nesta has said that made my heart cry, the thing about selling herself for food, the way Nesta said she hated herself and the thing with Thomas and her mother omg, Nesta deserves love.

She is definitely one of the best characters I've ever read. Her journey.... We've learned A LOT from her past (stuff that we've missed it because it has been Feyre's pov and feyre herself never knew), we have her dacing, her love for music (that music box, I cried), we have her confessing many times that -unfortunately- she pushed away "bc didn't want to hurt anyone "and then saying to herself stuff like "she would do it again" about Cassian... AND THE STEPS.

the fucking steps.

That was AMAZING to read. The ideal behind it...Nesta going and going and everything something went wrong she went again and through the book you can see the change of "I'm doing to get down there and drink " to "I'm doing to put myself together"... Personally it was an amazing way of showing that even though, idk, she fucked cassian, the fact that any priest had signed to train with her still bothered her and brought everything back, because that's how life works triggers and stuff.... And then Amren doesn't believe in her and she finally gets down, I honestly thought that she was going to the first tavern she would find but NO she goes to Amren and Feyre is there and Nesta does something that crushes her spirit.. And the "trip"... Him giving her the space until she finally says everything -- she feels totally comfortable around him to say it.. That scene made my heart so sad and worm omg.

The Valkyrie thing... Nesta is going to LEAD...SHE BASICALLY WON THAT FUCKING THING, SHE IS A POWERFUL AND BRAVE WARRIOR AND I'M SO HAPPY FOR HER THAT OMG... I loved it.. She found a purpose and when she talks about leading the priests and cassian is on board omg, she is a fucking general and well, in the next war they will be leading armies together...

Az and Nesta... I saw it coming, they are PERFECT...When she hugged him I felt hugged as well.

RHYSAND AND NESTA "HER BROTHER" that's all I'm going to say.

Feyre and Nesta.... nes's first I love you was towards her sister, she gave her power away for her sister, she loved feyre very much, that's it.

A little bit more of nessian now (lol)... The fact that in the entire book we have so many beautiful things being "thought" from both, and then she just says everything...That he is good and brave and she thinks she doesn't deserve him but we know that he was the one who thought that and the EVER OMG THE E V E R . (HE CRIED, I TOLD YOU GUYS HE WOULD).

And then... the talk about them being mates.

They both knew it, they both felted but she was afraid and he didn't wanted to pushed into her so he left and omg the struggle and then “Because my mate taught me well.” I SCREAMED... Nesta saying many times that from the moment they've met she couldn't stop thinking about him and it drove her insane and scared but we know it was kinda a of a "good scared" and if you think about it and look back, when feyre asked cassian "why do you bother" HE KNEW ALREADY and in the beginning of the book Nesta asks him the same thing and he just “Why did you stay at my side when we went up against the King of Hybern during that last battle?” DUDE THEY KNEW!!!!

And a cute fact that I cannot left unsaid: she also named his poses/faces :")

EMERIE AND MORRIGAN, I WANT IT, I NEED IT, WHERE, WHEN, PLEASE GIVE TO ME.

Eris... I hate him, he wanted to BUY Nesta and said those bullshits to Cass...But I pity him.

About Az pov I'm only going to say one thing: Elain does not love Lucien, she can barely stand him... I think Az may be in a bad place rn so that whole "the cauldron may have made a mistake" was really "Hey ho, hold up" (I'm nut exactly okay with how rhys handle it... He wasn't wrong I guess but idk, the scene felt weird)..

I haven't read the feysand scene :(

To summon: I loved the book, a lot of amazing things to say... I can say that the similarly with feysand in a particular scene made me go a little "it could have been different" but still a powerful scene after all and I don't think besides that I have actual complaings... Only that I wanted a scene where Cassian looked at Nessian's tattoo and talked about it.... And since we are mentioning him... He has the biggest wingspan... There's no way that a bigger cock exists :)

#sarah j maas #acowar #acomaf #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #a court of frost and starlight #a court of mist and fury #acofas #a court of wings and ruin #cassian #nesta archeon #azriel #feyre archeron #rhysand #acosf #a court of silver flames #morrigan

[cuefog]

tog/khunbam fic rec

this is for @cannottranslate​ because you asked for it and i am grateful for the excuse to make a fic rec post

i expect this will be a long post so i’ll put it under read ↓ 

i’ll be leaving my own thoughts and comments under each fic (im sorry in advance for rambling too much)!! if you want the full summary and other info please click on the link provided lol

!!webtoon spoilers beware!!

♡ = one of my favourites

canon timeline

(these will be the ones that are set in the canon world and follow major plot events, even if there some changes in the details and relationships)

♡ deep sea blue by Feyren ♡

please read everything written by feyren!!!! lovely prose, wonderfully written khunbam emotional tension. khun braiding his beautiful hair accompanied by symbolism and perfectly crafted metaphor. bonus earrings.

♡ hollow moons by NoteInABottle ♡

please also read everything by noteinabottle!! equally lovely prose, wonderfully written khunbam emotional tension. khun wearing earrings and giving them to bam, accompanied by lots of symbolism and perfectly crafted metaphor. you could probably consider this a companion fic to feyren’s deep sea blue. both of these fics gave me a Thing for khun’s earrings (>_<;)``

take my hand (take my whole life too) by RadiantAshe

our dear ashe has written lots of great stuff but i think this is my favourite!! so much khunbam softness, very classic s3 vibes <33

Chestnuts at Nighttime by khunfounded (ongoing)

khun with a cat who loves him very much, and vice versa. that’s all the explanation you need. this fic overloads my heart with cute soft fluffy feelings!!! (bonus khun and bam dolls with little hands made of velcro so they can hold each other’s hands (ʘ‿ʘ✿) please i can’t take any more of this, somebody help my heart is gonna explode)

a thousand paths to you by LiannaAila

set during the time of khun’s coma. bam travels to a parallel universe and meets an alive and awake khun. this fic is exactly what it says it is and it’s so lovely <3

oh no he’s hot (and other earth-shattering revelations) by Bird_of_Dreams

tldr; bam being thirsty over khun

khun aguero agnis and his growing competency kink by chuuyaya

tldr; khun being thirsty over bam

motion by smokeandwaves (rated Explicit)

set during hell train, khunbam focused. this one is really popular in the fandom!! it’s well written, and if you consider smut a genre i would say this is the best one in the tog tag. lots of emotions, and a wonderful flow of feeling!! also it has a few sequel fics in the series, ‘obedience’ in particular being all about sub!khun,, which is,, (*ﾉωﾉ)

sometimes when i look into your eyes i pretend you're mine by agueros (minamis)

residents of the tower ship jue viole grace and khun aguero agnis and write fanfiction about them (i love these types of fics lmao)

From: Khun by AngrySheepProject  and To you who lies with my heart under the sea by Strawbellie666 (ongoing)

khun messaging bam’s pocket when he thought he was dead in s2

canon divergence + future canonverse

(future fics means it’s set in the future of the current canon, which at the nest arc rn)

♡ A World Without You by Breaking_Formation ♡

this one might be my favourite out of all of them. i know it says major character death but it happens in the beginning and there’s a promised happy ending so don’t worry!!! this one is a beautiful 20k word masterpiece.... seriously..... this fic is set after the nest arc, it has lots of Plot and plays around with the world and the lore of the Tower, so it’s already fascinating that way, but the real heart of the story is in the emotions!! if you love witnessing khun’s endless devotion to bam, this is the fic that shows you that devotion reflected right back at khun. it might bring you to tears :’)

♡ Our Hearts Are Made of Stars by Ruinous ♡ (ongoing)

out of the 5 or so other time travel au fics in the tog fandom, this one is definitely my favourite!! time travel aus are all super fun to read, but this one stood out to me especially because it hits all the right spots!! it’s written well and i love the level of foresight, and the emotions detailed into this, it really feels like the friendships and bonds are at the heart of this story and all the fighting stuff will turn out just fine, and everything will be ok :)

♡ enough by Feyren ♡

future fic, set in a cocktail party on the 87th floor. this is so well written!!!!! again, please just read everything written by feyren. the prose is wonderful and everything going on in this fic feels so well-crafted and carefully executed with just the right amount of subtlety in all the emotions. i think it’s gorgeous.

fire and ice by soundscape (ongoing)

set vaguely in the future. still ongoing, and the story feels like it’s just started, but very intriguing plot!! premise is people trying to separate khun from bam + the team trying to deal with shady fug plots

dig down deep by milkywxy (ongoing)

this one is a plotty one!! diverges from canon at the hidden floor arc. bam decides not to let rachel go with them. im super interested to see where this story goes!!

where the current leaves us by macrauchenia (ongoing)

this one is a Plotty one, still in the early stages of plot development but the premise is super interesting!! basically khun takes bam’s place in the bubble with rachel, during the administrator’s test on the 2nd floor. i’m excited to see where this story goes :D

special mentions for “bam climbs the tower” remix concept fics that you might like to check out (this is for you dango, since you said you like togverse canon divergence :D)

Moonlight by Shadow_to_rant (ongoing, khun meets bam in cave instead of rachel)

Timeless Existence by Jazebeth (Barrattiel) (ongoing, time travel au series)

Second Chance by Shadow_to_rant (ongoing, time travel au)

Never Let You Go by eternus (ongoing, time travel au)

Il Principe by euludey (ongoing, bam with different backstory/origins)

Night Never Falls by TripleTurtles (ongoing, au where rachel doesn’t succeed at pushing bam off the bubble on the 2nd floor)

Child of Arlene by MoodleNoodle (ongoing, bam is adopted by jahad before canon timeline)

au

♡ the king and his lionheart by chuuyaya ♡

khunbam royalty au with bam as king, khun as a genius war strategist. bonus pda in front of a whole courtroom. what more could you want?? this was soooo satisfying to read, i enjoyed it a lot :D (please also check out chuuyaya’s other fics if you like khunbam aus!!)

if there's anything in this life ive been waiting for (its you) by trueaguero (ongoing)

fascinating au where everyone is outside the tower and the tower is part of history. perhaps you could call this a “post-tower au” ?

if my heart was a house by The_Winged_Warrior

very cute magical fantasy au!! khun runs a potion shop and bam is an adventurer

aus are pretty self explanatory so i’ll put the rest in a list:

you are the magic in me by silverinerivers (ongoing, hogwarts au)

hope and legacy by chuuyaya (figure skating au)

♡ jump then fall (i'll catch you) by agueros (minamis) ♡ (figure skating au, consider it a prequel to ‘hope and legacy’, this is a beautiful 13k-word love letter to figure skating <3)

of social media and turtles by chuuyaya (celeb au with social media bits)

i am the last olympian by argenteas (percy jackson au)

who else is there to love but you? by khuns (college au, very soft pining!!)

Lucky coin by bothersomepotato (ongoing, college business majors au)

Greedy Turtles by Alien_ships (ongoing, on the surface it seems like just a pet shop au but there’s a lot of care and attention paid to the characters and relationship dynamics :D)

and i will come to you at every first snow by aguerobaam (khun is a magical doll in a toy store)

the heart heist by paused (ongoing, cyberpunk au)

khun special category

(it’s all about khun here)

♡ all the blue in the world won’t do, without you by NoteInABottle ♡ (ongoing)

multichapter fic set on khun eduan’s 111th floor!! if you’re too impatient to wait for the khun family arc, you should just read this fic. it’s still ongoing as of the time i made this post but it’s already looking to have all the elements i want out of a khun family arc. it’s written so so well too!! noteinabottle is one of my favourite tog authors :D

Brothers and sisters, I'm an atomic bomb by gleek_runner (ongoing series)

a wonderfully well written series of fics focusing on interactions between members of the khun family!!!! im just a sucker for the khun kids and im always starving for khun family content

He Wonders if He Still Breathes by Chocolatesandblood

khun and ran interactions!!

putting his resolve to the test. by soundscape

khun and hachuling interactions!!

Autumn Angel by XprincessxofxspadesX

khunbam meets maria and a series of complicated and fascinating interactions occurs. this was very nice to read ;w;

#trying to stop myself from regurgitating all of the fics on ao3 here #im holding back i swear #this is such a mortifyingly long post #i think i mightve went overboard #hope this is helpful #tog #khunbam #long post #mine #i'll come back and add to this occasionally maybe

[belle-keys]

Incoherent thoughts about A Court of Silver Flames (2021) by SJM

Do not expect this to be a critical, unbiased review at all. Eet just ease what eet ease. Spoilers ahead laddies. 

*unwanted preface* 

Okay, so like, you know those things that are neither objectively perfect nor unproblematic yet you love them and are attached to them anyway? Yeah, this is me with SJM’s writing. See, I been with Sarah and Throne of Glass since March of 2015 and with ACOTAR since the summer of 2015 when I was 13 and honestly, ACOTAR in particular occupied a decent portion of my formative teen years. Eventually, when I was about 16 I sort of ended up getting distracted from YA books and went into my thot and kpop era. A main reason for this is that I found ACOFAS particularly disenchanting. This ain’t about that book (sigh) but let’s just say as much as I was still attached to and in love with the ACOTAR world, I was still able to get very annoyed by the decreased quality of the writing and also the evident projecting Sarah was doing onto Feyre with regards to her own life and experiences (ahem). No, the lack of developed POC in the book had nothing to do with it ironically. 

So basically, since the spring of 2018 I haven’t read any SJM yet I never fell out of love with the books either. I’ve sworn off TOG after whatever the hell EOS was, but ACOTAR was always more special and close to my heart by tenfold, honestly. See, the best day of my 2016 was the day I found out ACOTAR was getting the extra 3 novels and 2 novellas. ACOFAS was a dumpster fire but I was actually surprised to really, really enjoy A Court of Silver Flames while it obviously has a couple (multiple) sus facets to it. The susness aside, I thoroughly felt at home reading Nesta’s book despite how irrational that might sound. No, I’m not here to say the book was objectively good but I’m here to say I still enjoyed it despite my love-hate relationship with SJM and her writing. :( :( :( 

That being said imma still roast tf out of a couple aspects of it. :)

*the susness*

Aight wbk that SJM like, projects a lot onto feyrhys right. I’m not even gonna deny it. Like as horrible as it sounds, when feyrhys were, like, struggling as a couple and shit in ACOMAF, that’s when I loved them the most but then the shitstorm that was ACOWAR hit and they couldn’t go without boning every two seconds or calling each other mates and shit and basically every character in the book started kissing their asses (except Nesta) to the point where they were infallibly good and powerful and everyone’s heads were lodged up their asses... I got PISSED OFF then, right.

Now, in ACOSF (is that correct?), they were side characters and, gratefully, that romance between them was toned down. But here are some things concerning feyrhys and the Court of Dreams that irked tf out of me, and the implications that they had for Nesta (who is perhaps one of the baddest bitches ever) had me feeling homicidal towards the IC:

Every single time Nesta said shit about Rhys and then Cassian got mad I wanted to SCREAM like yooo let her roast tf out of him like yeah I get Rhys lowkey did a lot for her both directly and indirectly but cmoooooon not everyone needs to be riding his dick like the man HATED Nesta from the get-go. I loved the idea that someone in the book lowkey abhors Rhys just for the TEA it gave me. Like yeah, okay Cassian, I get that he’s your bro but he can SUCK NESTA’S DICK also like my girl is a DEATH GOD.

Here me out: the Inner Circle completely dehumanized Nesta, they completely disregarded her personal autonomy and caged her in which is ironically the very behavior that was villainized when Tamlin did it to Feyre. First of all they restricted her movement, they made decisions FOR her, they withheld from her knowledge about her own powers, they decided what’s best for her and acted like she was a rabid dog the entire time. Only Cassian and Azriel seem more blameless in this regard, but the level of scorn and abohorence and moralizing Feyre, Elain, Rhys, Amren and Mor did towards Nes made my blood boil. At the end of the day, the Inner Circle did the VERY THING they hated being done to Feyre. Whatever happened to the freedom they professed? The autonomy they decided all members of their court deserved? That was all bullshit, or was this switch-up SJM’s way of creating justifiable conflict between Nesta and the Inner Circle... either way, there was no closure about this and the way they dictated Nesta’s behavior whilst completely mistreating her imo.

More on Nesta’s treatment - okay listen the way the narrative had every character acting like Nesta was fricking scum and for WHAT??? Okay, she didn’t hunt when Feyre and they were poor, she was bitchy, she hates the Fae... okay, why is Nesta still being punished for her mistakes like this by the Court? Does their forgiveness only apply to those in their clique? They’re acting like her drinking and sleeping around and her general bitchy behavior is sooooo toxic when they ALL coped with their respective trauma in questionable ways in their centuries of living. And the narrative never condemned them for this behavior either... like cmon they had an “intervention” about Nesta like if she needed to reach a certain moral standing to be lovable or something. Seems to me that only Cassian was willing to love her, bruises and all... “There’s nothing broken to be fixed. You are helping yourself. Healing the parts of you that hurt too much - and perhaps hurt others too”. But as beautiful as that it, it seems the IC see Nesta’s healing as her “redemption arc” when I never saw her as a villain or monster to begin with. They acted like she had to become deserving of their acceptance. Bullshit.

No cus more on this... Cassian is the only person who defended Nesta, the only person that wanted to help her heal and grow when everyone else wanted to fix her. He was the only person who was kind to her from the original trilogy (i.e. not counting Emerie and Gwyn). He stood up for her and I’ll gush about them in the next section, but the dynamic between Nesta and the IC was the least enjoyable aspect of the book for me. It was clear SJM wanted to spur Nesta towards the path to healing yet only figured out how to do so whilst only keeping feyrhys as the nucleus of this arc, and so she had them force Nesta into her “special journey” (because she loves them so much, cus they’re sooooo perfect right *rolls eye*), yet, the narrative didn’t quite condemn them for their toxicity towards Nesta at ALL, even towards the end. The good thing is that Nesta did not become an ass-kisser throughout the story and laud them for “helping her” every waking second. Only Cassian didn’t shun her for her inner negativity but embraced her. And Az was pretty cool too, can’t hate him.

Ahem, the ending: okay, I’m not even capping, but I hated that Nesta lost her power for feyrhys. I get that she genuinely did it out of love and shit and I’m not even gonna lie, the thought of feyrhys dying had me on the verge of tears cus as much as I hate them, I also love those bitches. Yet, the culmination of Nesta’s power was, what?, to save feyrhys. This way, the narrative put Feyre at the center of Nesta’s narrative towards the end. And Nesta lost that Death God power that she basically EARNED in that Cauldron. This is the biggest flaw of the story. She fought against her own power to give it up... for Feyre. Like??? What??? Why was that baby arc even necessary????? Why was Nesta giving up her power necessary to fulfil her healing arc which was the POINT of the book??? Like what?????? It left a sour taste in my mouth. No- an abhorrent acidic bitter taste in my mouth. 

Elain. I CANNOT STAND THIS GIRL. She completely abandoned Nesta and for WHAT??? For Feyre??? This only served to reiterate from the narrative’s POV that Nesta was scum and again, idk WHY. And also, why tf does this girl mistreat Lucien like this??? LUCIEN AKA MY FAVORITE CHARACTER???

I just don’t get how the narrative reiterated that Tamlin is the worst of the worst when you got Rhys hiding shit from Feyre, hiding knowledge of Nesta’s power from Nesta, all of that. Like, was the entire point of ACOMAF not for Feyre to embrace her power and become her best self? Rhys never for one second tolerated withholding Feyre’s power from her. So why tf does this apply to Nesta? Cus she’s unhealthy? Okay... so what??? Why villainize her like this and imply she’s undeserving of her power and a waste of life??? I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RN LIKE WHERE DID THIS EVEN COME FROM??? What did my girl do that was sooooo bad that yall needed to treat her like this. Tell me why feyre and amren and varian and rhys all acted like Tamlin in this book. Cardi voice WHAT WAS THE REASON. I AM SO MAD ABOUT THIS CUS THEY ACTED LIKE THE FRICKING MORALISING SYCHOPHANTS THEY CLAIM TO HATE.

Like bitch??? They’re like those youth pastors that reiterate how broken and messed up people with mental illness are? Acted like Nesta screwing guys was the worst thing ever when they should have embraced her? Like I get she would push them away but really??? “Waste of life”??? 

So we gon gloss over how Amren was insisting Nesta shut up about the baby business to Feyre (aka hiding shit from her)? How she was implying that Rhys should conquer all of Prythian? Hear me out, even as someone from a Caribbean country that was colonized by the whites, it actually doesn’t bother me when the theme of conquest comes up, like, this is a fantasy novel and colonization does not exist within the same context for me. That being said, like, it felt as if the narrative telling me lil Rhysie is just sooooo perfect that he needs to be High King. Like, I respect the fact that Rhys has no wish to do so. Homeboy never seemed to care for conquest beyond ensuring his Court’s prowess and safety so WHAT WAS THE REASON AMREN??? Like? What kinda crack was Amren on this entire book???

The worldbuilding... listen, the politics and history felt all over the place, felt incoherent and flat honestly. Didn’t bother me as much as it did in ACOWAR but it was just *meh*, not good. Not horrible, but not great. I preferred the world when it was directly the result of Beauty and the Beat and East of the Sun, West of the Moon.

The Fae have lost their *magic*: no cus what I loved about the first book was that the Fae were one with the Courts and felt very fleshed out in terms of their powers and shit, but now only Eric and Lucien and Tamlin and sometimes Rhys have that same magic for me. Like... the sensuality of the Fae in terms of their actual Celtic roots, that which felt whimsical and immersive in the first book, feels lost to me. I can’t explain it but I feel less nuance and orthodoxy in their portrayal. However, I DID love this one line featuring none other than the loml : “Amid the pink and white blossoms, the cold-faced Autumn Court heir looked truly faerie - as if he’d stepped out of the tree, and his one and only master was the earth itself”. LIKE I SALIVATED THAT IS MY MAN.

*good stuffs*

Okay let’s talk about the smut like I didn’t like the word choice as usual like quit with the euphemisms and say cock and goooooo. That being said like, okay, I like how she set up the physical dynamic between Nesta and Cassian cus the sex wasn’t some big romantic climactic build-up like how it was in acomaf like they were being NASTY from the get-go and I respect that drip. Like she did not cap on how porny the smut was and thank God it wasn’t some cliche romantic honeymoon type shit, like it was almost on the ao3 level of smutty goodness. All it was was missing was coarse language and hard kinks but in general, I liked the Nessian smut in this book more than the feyrhys smut in particularly ACOWAR and ACOFAS, like Nessian just do not cap.

Listen... you see that whole part when Nesta was like imagining how awesome it would be to dance Lucifer’s Bachata with Az and Cassian? Yeah, my girl just let her thoughts run wild. Like Nesta makes Feyre look naïve. Like you know how Tumblr porn in 2016 used to be with the aesthetic type shit? That’s Feyre, but Nesta is like on Pornhub level and it’s so fitting I was YELLIN lowkey. I feel like less importance was placed on how meaningful the sex and shit should be in the book and I respect that.

YOU SEE WHEN NESTA TOLD FEYRE ABOUT THE BABY!!! I WAS CHEERING HER ON. No cause they were being so nasty to Nesta especially Amren and then Feyre entered with all of her moralising shit like honey you KNOW damn well what you’re doing to Nesta is what you hate being done to you. Like damn right tell her, cus I could not STAND the double standard.

The whole training the women thing was a nice touch. It was kinda corny but also sweet. That being said, I laughed so hard when I realized how this entire book was Nesta’s quarter-life hippie rebirth where she learns to meditate and work out and read romance books and face her inner demons like this is some real New York college shit. All that was missing was a Starbucks.

Cassian. Man I love this man so much. No like he displayed peak dilf behavior. I think his attractiveness isn’t based on his bravery or his hotness but his humility man. Like he’s not a thot, he’s respectful, yet tough, yet contemplative. He’s contented with his life station yet wants to always be a better person yet is such a strong rock who really loves Nesta not despite her flaws but because they are part of her. I love the way he stood up to Rhys a lot, he didn’t shame her when she was awful to him, and he is protective (annoyingly so sometimes) but he really wanted her to empower herself. Their relationship isn’t perfect (I’m not in the mood to dissect the problematic aspects rn) but they were so sweet together and I didn’t expect to like them as much as I did back when they were lowkey a thing in ACOMAF.

The mates thing didn’t bother me cus I saw this shit coming since 2016. Yes, it’s cliche and annoying but the mates status also, like, has no meaning to me so it is what it is. Didn’t think they NEEDED to be mates but I was happy that them being mates wasn’t the core of the novel and it was secondary to Nesta’s individual healing journey.

Prepare for me to get sappy but another reason why I loved this novel was because it was a story of healing. :( :( :( The road to healing and growth in the emotional sense is always beautiful to me despite how flawed it often is when SJM writes it. I just felt really immersed in the emotional woes and eventual growth of Nesta despite my issues with the book and this is perhaps one of the main reasons that I found it beautiful, because healing as a theme is always beautiful and raw.

More of Nessian but like their relationship feels so real and raw too. No, cus like, it wasn’t tinged in as much fictitious idealism as feyrhys’ relationship was. They weren’t all stupidly in love and seeing each other in the universe and shit, like they just made each other happy and weren’t portrayed as the perfect soulmates who were each other’s yin and yang and whatever thank the LORD. Them having each other’s back was enough and ughhhh Cassian was just so sweet and such a good trainer and so aloof yet passionate like I been waiting to see more of him since ACOMAF so yayyy.

Okay... that scene where Rhys kneels to Nesta and she embraces him. yes. YES YES YES YES YES that shit was the shit that made my year like I want this man to be in her debt for the end of time like this hoe saved yall like big strong high lord better bow to the “witch” like I could hear angelic choirs at that scene like Rhys doesn’t just yield to people so easily so like, it was just kinda epic okay. Little bitchass Rhys with his perfect little river house and emo boi clothes stfu hoe.

No cus I love how Nesta told Cassian she didn’t wanna hear about Feyre’s special journey or Rhys’s special journey or Mor’s like I got fed up of people acting like they epitomized “good” and the “good path” to self-discovery when they can choke on a baguette as far as I am concerned.

*shit no one except me probs cares about*

Eris. So here is the thing. Since 2015 in ACOTAR when Eris was Under the Mountain being all red-headed and cunning and sexy and evil I have been obsessed with him... well, the idea of him I had in my head and how delectably abhorrent he seems (I like villains and side-characters okay). Maybe it was just his name (Eris is a hot name shut up) or the idea of a rich, cunning fox-faced prince in the same universe appealed to me. Either way, I actually never expected by favorite cameo-character to become... important. I’ll die on the hill of loving him. Here is the thing... I don’t want him to be good, in the same way I did not want Rhys to be a good guy in ACOTAR either. I don’t need him to be a secret angel, I don’t need him to be sweet and good like Rhys always was apparently. Honestly, I want him corrupt but likeable and pertinent to the story. That being said, I really want him as the main character for one of the upcoming novels sooo bad like please PLEASE let me see the autumn court and it’s two-facedness please like if not Eris then Lucien as the main character please.

Lucien... aka my fave character since the first book man. Mannn, SJM does homeboy so dirty like I have always loved Russian fables and hence, I am so ready for Lucien x Vassa x Jurian in the Vasilisa retelling with the firebird trope and Koshei. NO CUS in 2018 I was finna write a 100k word fic about this but then I forgot about it no cap, I still have the story plan in my Onenote actually but let us not reminisce. See, my ao3-loving ass wants an angsty poly relationship and also a hot Koshei I have been waiting YEARS for this you hoes, ever since Elain got the premonition of Vassa as a firebird in ACOWAR like God please please please give it to me and make it feyrhys-less as well yasss.

I lowkey wanna suspect Eris is gay and Mor, also gay, knows and that’s why she lowkey kinda tolerates him now. Yet, I cannot be sure and yeah I just wanna say that I kinda want that arc lmfaooo (my ao3-self is showing shut up).

No cus I was TEASED by only seeing a glimpse of Vassa and Jurian but THEY SHALL HAVE THEIR TIME I KNOW IT.

Tamlin living as a beast is so interesting to me. He’s a side-character now but ughhhh he was so mystical and interesting as our good ole Beauty and the Beast beastie like it’s sooooo mysterious and alluring how he’s becoming his own villainous legend like I still care about Tamlin’s blond ass self despite everything. 

Give us the snowball fight scene you coward.

I just gotta say Nessian could outsmut Feyrhys any day and that makes me proud.

FRICKING AZRIEL like first of all Mor doesn’t NEED to come out until she’s ready but she gotta let the man down nicely some other way so he can move on. I do not like Elain. Never did. I still do not. I do not, frankly, want a whole novel where she and Azriel fall in love and she rejects Lucien like... okay, I DO want her to reject Lucien so he can be with Vassa at the very least but also I am not interested in Elain’s POV rn. BUT I WANT AZ’S POV AND LIKE WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO I WANT MY EMO BOI TO BE HAPPY. This is so frustrating cus Az is a walking DILF right and so, what am I supposed to do now.

I kinda miss the Spring Court just a little. It’s pretty shut up. It got that Zuhair Murad fashion too. 

Umm like, what the hell is up with that business with Helion being Lucien’s dad? We need more on this which is why I want a Lucien POV book goddammit.

Yoooooooo yall remember that bitch from ACOWAR who hybern was finna kill and she had a name and everything and then there was some foreshadowing and shit? What’s up with her? Like I can’t even remember her name lowkey but yeah what’s up with that. Was it something like Briar or Briannon or somthing???

Is Mor getting a book? Like deadass I need the Lucien and Vassa book, I need the Eris book, I need the Mor book and I need the Azriel book. Damn. Been waiting 6 years for some of this shit.

Okay that is all for now. Yes, this book has problematic elements at every level but I still loved it yet also hated some things about it. I won’t read House of Blood and Earth nor will I finish the TOG series but I guess I’ll stick with this series which remains near and dear to my soul despite what people gotta say about it. It made me happy and that’s what matters. Nesta is a huge ass inspiration to me as a character and I still wanna see her make the Inner Circle’s life a living hell uwu. I admittedly got HELLA emotional reading this story because it’s nonetheless super meaningful to me even at age 19 and it’s really powerful for me as a comfort book, and I look forward (a little) to what this woman put out next... sort of.

Signing off! Don’t @ me (okay you CAN @ me but idc).

#sarah j maas #sjmaas #SJM #sjm critical #acotar #acowar #acomaf #acofas #a court of silver flames #nesta #cassian #nessian #nesta deserves better #feyrhys #rhys x feyre #rhys #anti sjm #lucien #azriel #ya books #fantasy #booklr #books #feyre #throne of glass #a court of thorns and roses #acosf #acosf spoilers

[themoonwheniamlost]

Mutuals Appreciation Post

Here are my top 15 fave TOG related blogs rn. This is not a ranking! I just want to make sure we hype them up! Feel free to add anymore immortal bloggers in the tags!

@tovezza - So funny and smart! You're probably already following them but just in case!

@jesuisnilunnilautre - My whole heart 🧡 - Fantastic Queer bestie! Also funny AF

@hottopicmonk - Smart and funny are truly the theme here. Posts fantastic resources/opinions!

@nicelytousled - the sweetheart. Shares great art, makes great fics. Just *chefs kiss*

@ssungods - I would die for this bean. That is all.

@marwankensari - So nice! Has good taste and great vibes.

@lowkeycryptid - Will keep your feed varied and informative. Love.

@with-my-murder-flute - Love the handle reference! Love their takes.

Ink-phoenix - who for some reason I cannot tag?!? But love them.

@furiosaofscythia - Your life will be enriched.

@scimitar-and-longsword - Such good gay content. A prime place for #Kaysanova.

@joenicky - 😍😍😍- again, Funny, Smart, good for your dash.

@nico-di-genova - Such a nice human! Such good content. What else do you want?

@nicolodigenovas - Great takes, fantastic headcannons. Love.

@bi-leigh-bi - New follow from me. But is my current favorite Joe/Yusuf Defense Blog. Which I endorse 100%.

If this has just been a list of people you already follow...🤷‍♀️ I just had to share my love for these blogs! 🧡😚🍉

#lowkey intimidated by all of you #but i meant this post with my whole chest #the old guard #the old guard netflix #mutual appreciation #Moon rambles

[thecringefailintherye]

Oliver! (1968) Live (re) watch!

i have already seen oliver!, but not in ages, so i decided to watch it again, enjoy

very long post warning

fuckin hell these opening credits are LONG

i love the fact instrumentals of songs in the movie are playing

i have chocolate popcorn, apple lucozade and oliver! on, life is good

yes i know mark lester is oliver ive seen this like 20 times can i watch the film now

OH ABOUT FUCKING TIME

god is love

IS IT WORTH THE WAITING FOR IF WE LIVE TILL 84 ALL WE EVER GET IS GRUELL

i forgot how much of a banger food glorious food is

LOOK AT BABY MARK LESTER 🥺🥺🥺

ads in middle of movie be like

its harry secombe!

AMENNNN

oliver gets bullied the movie

look at this poor kid

MOREE????????

oh yes oliver i love this song

O L I V E R

poor kid

without any bannister yikes

the one who named him........O-L-IV-ERRR

oh were outside now

olivers just been kicked out oh shit

but on the plus side he has a cute ass hat on

BOY FOR SAY AL

look at oliver 🥺 he deserves better

SOWERBERRY MORE LIKE SHITTERBERRY

theres a severe lack of thats your funeral and i shall scream

noah claypole more like noah clayprick

“perhaps... if i had a tall hat?” BABEY

HES GOT HIS TALL HAT ON YES OLIVER

oliver said dab on them haters from your old gaff youre a funeral advisor now and theyre still homeless

DONT INSULT HIS MUM FUCK YOU NOAH

YES OLIVER KILL HIM

yes stuff the nine year old in a coffin and sit on it well done

"OLIVAH ??" "Yes im here: ((("

ITS MEAT!

oliver deserves better man 

im gonna cry and were like 25 minutes in.

ik its not mark singing but whoever it is CAN SING WTF

i want to give him a hug

OH SHIT HES RUNNING AWAY

hes in the lettuce

LONDON YOU MADE IT !

yes oliver trains exist

DODGER!!!

whach you starin at aint ya ever seen a toff

the beak

look at lil jack wild

me more hintimate friends

cockney accent™️

the artful dodga

CONSIDERR YOURSSELF AT HOEME COSNIDER YOURSWLF OEN OF THE FAMILY !!!!!!!!!!

im sorry i love this song

look this scene is awesome, but it would be COMPLETE with charley oh wait he was demoted to extra and everything interesting abt him was given to dodger

he should have gotten the nobody tries to be ladeeda or uppity bit I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL

this cast is BIG

okay i am a Charger Enthusiast but do we all agree there is something oddly homosexual about oliver and dodger in this song

note how dodger is scared of the police FORESHADOWING

ive taken to this SO STRONGITSCLEARWEREGOINGTOGETALONG

how many extras is this ???? yall better be gettin paid

its dodga comin up

this set is sraight out of the book i love it

CHARLEY MATE IM SORRY THEY MADE YOU AN EXTRA 

“oh not again” does dodger just always show up with random workhouse kids 

ah yes fagin the character whos still a negative jewish stereotype

more and more big cast

THESE SAUSAGES ARE MOULDY! (am i going to freak out whenever charley does anything because i love him? yes)

stfu drink your gin

is this a laundry?? no fam 

THE BEST FUCKING SONG IN THIS MUSICAL

IN THIS LIFE ONE THING COUNTS

sorry if i dont add to this until pick a pocket or two is done bc its a straight banger

this song is EVERYTHING 

hard at work lol ok

did he make those himself??? no

couple a wipes

EMBROIDERED THEM??? no

petition for all oliver twist adaptations to refer to charley as master bates like the book and for him to have actual lines and not have his actor switched at least three times

i dont even now who charley is at this point because his actor is switched many a time im just gonna say purple blazer kid is charley

anyway charley bates supremacy

whos bill sikes??? NO

fuck bill all my homies hate bill

rum tum tum is a banger

go bed now

take your hat off in bed dodger

movie fagin has rights

fagin leaving where will he go

BET IS THAT YOU

FUCK OFF BILL NO ONE LIKES YOU 

NANCY NANCY HES HERE !!!!!! bet deserves everything and more ily 💖

NANCYYYY!!!!!!

its a fine life more like its a banger

wheres all of bets lines gone

bet 🤝 charley (being demoted to extras)

its not funny anyore bet.. bet girl please sing youre the best fucking thing about this song

such a happy song about domestic abuse

THERE SHE IS THATS MY GIRL BET I FUCKING LOVE YOU

bullsye rights!

i hate how this movie made fagin more symathetic but he’s still a “greedy jew” stereotype

oliver?????

at this moment fagin knew he fucked up

nancy you deserve better than bill

oh hi dodger forgot you existed

and the rest of you except oliver

ah yes charley “sausages” bates i missed you

THESE FUCKING KIDS THEY ALL LOVE BET AND NANCY MY HEART

im a regular gent i am. no dodger you arent

why is “permit me to assist you across the road” so fucking funny

pov dodgers back on his bullshit so you have to pretend to be a horse and cart for him

not “sir artful” 😭😭😭

anyfink for youu

WHAT FISTICUFFS???!!!

i feel sorry for the child extras man theyve prob had to film this scene like ten times

THESE KIDS CAN SING

 the boys dancing with eachother is too fucking wholesome i love this

again, movie fagin rights

weed riissk lifee and limmbb

you promised we could go see the angin!!!!!

ats on boys time were off

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE SONG

HOW COULD WE LET HOW COULD WE FORGET OUR DEAR OLD FAGIN WORRY!!

mate that aint single file did you not hear him

am i the only one who can hear london bridge is falling down in the back??

our pockets hold a watch of gold that chimes upon the hour!!! a wallet fat an old mans hat!!! the jewels from the tower!!!

WE KNOW THE NOSEY POLICEMEENNNN

dodger and charley (i am SURE charley is purple blazer kid even if havent seen this film in ages) are GETTING INTO THIS

oliver 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

movie fagin rights pt 27238227

DODGER OLIVER COME ON!!!!!!!!! alright dude chill

ARE YALL SEEING THIS SHIT, I WAS RIGHT, I TOLD YOU THAT THE LAD IN THE PURPLE BLAZER WHO SINGS “a wallet fat an old mans hat” WAS CHARLEY BATES AND GUESS WHAT HE FUCKING IS. I WAS RIGHT, PURPLE BLAZER KID IS CHARLEY YOU CAN LEAVE NOW

no dont were only an hour in

three kids on the back of the omnibus what will they do

dodger and charley said be gay do crimes

ah shit now look what youve gotten us into dodger

IT WASNT EVEN OLIVER IT WAS CHARLEY AND DODGER GO AFTER THEM

are dodger and charley straight up framing oliver for a crime they commited while also helping him escape

yes they are why are we surprised 

i hate to break it to you dodger but hiding oliver in a meat sack doesnt work

OLIVERS ON THE ROOF????

charley and dodger got oliver into this mess and they are not going to get him out

WHY DIDNT YOU LOOK AFTER HIM????? right calm down fagin

how could i help it :((((

no bill!

stan nancy

“two other boys stole it” no shit

BROWNLOW !

run bitch run

right intermission time now

AND WE’RE BACK!

entr acte

who will buyyy

strawberry girl is carrying this

oliver owns my heart pt 278983728938728

this is a banger wtf

okay its done now right

right?????

UHH BILL???? DODGER???? BITCH WHY TF ARE YOU HERE

have bill fagin nancy and the boys been stalking oliver???

NO SHE WONT FAGIN!

shit.

fuck bill

this scene is far more sadder when you think of how the boys have just seen the only woman they see as a mother figure been hit to the flo or, im not crying, you are

as long as he needs me :(

FUCK YOU BILL

rose maylie is that you?!

look at lil oliver!!

BILL FUCK OFF

i hate bill

“look at his togs! he’s got books too!” charley and dodger are my emotional support kids

anyway have i mentioned i hate bill, bc i hate bill.

I REALLY REALLY HATE BILL

even fagin aka the guy whos keeping these kids as pickpockets has more morals than bill

WE STAY CALM!!

no bill i havent heard a dying chicken

act one was just childish antics now we have THIS

fuck bill

YOURE TELLING ME THE BOYS WATCHED THAT????

jack wild is a banging actor. he genuinely looks terrified 🥺 

this film.. 

a mans got a heart hasnt he?? yes you do!!!

a full song dedicated to movie fagin rights?? did i ghostwrite this?? probably

banger

ithinkidbetterthinkitoutagain!

villains theives and nine year olds

MR BUMBLE?????!!!!!!!!!!

fuck bill pt72898376728909878199

bill youre traumatising him

cmon nance do something!!

also completely forgot abt this but uh does monks exist in this i forgot bc we have had no mentions of him yet

nancy tell him who bill is!!!

bullseye deserves better

uhm what is going on

bill sikes more like bill yikes

oliver what are you doing

BILL TERRIFIES ME

FUCK

omg oom pah pah????

leave oliver alone bill hes like nine

oh banger

OOM PAH PAH THATS HOW IT GOES!!!!!!!!!

just asking are nancy and bet lesbians bc they look it

COULD IT BE OOM PAH PAHHHHHH

god i love this song

IT SHOOOOOWSSSSSS

its the same oom pah pah

“She was from the country but now shes up a gumtree she let a fella feed her then lead her a long” foreshadowiinnggg

OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH! OOM PAH PAH!

nancy is so fucking smart

getting the whole pub singing and dancing to smuggle out oliver? clever

fuck

bill.. no.. bill.. bill????

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKC

BILL GET OFF HER

NANCY NO

HE STRAIGHT UP COMMIT MURDER AGAINST THE NICEST CHARACTER

BROWNLOW DO YOU NOT HEAR NOTHING

nancy deserved a better death than to be killed by bill fuck bill

EVEN BULLSEYE HATES YOU BILL

ARE THEY ACCUSING BULLSEYE OF MURDER

FUCK YOU BILL

movie fagin rights + fuck bill combo?

youre telling me fagin had an ESCAPE ROUTE??? AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HOUSE THING??? THE WHOLE TIME???

BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD

BILL

fuck, well. #

“WHAT DO I DO!?” “LIVE UP TO YOUR NAME, DODGE ABOUT”

ten quid says dodgers been caught

oh no all fagins shit is gone

BILL DONT KILL THE CHILD PT 2

FUCK YOU BILL

GOD I HATE HIM

OLIVER MATE ARE YOU OK

never have i been so happy to see a character die

rest in shit bill

hi dodger thought you got caught n went to australia 

god, this film is so fucking good.

reviewing the situation 2.0 goes hard

MOVIE. FAGIN. RIGHTS!

FAGIN YOU CAN BE A GOOD MAN YOU KNOW YOU CAN

DODGER??????????

IM TOTALLY NOT CRYING RN

FAGIN NO DONT TAKE IT

FUCKING PLOTTWIST

IT MADE IT LOOK LIKE FAGIN WAS GONNA GIVE THE WALLET BACK TO DODGER BUT NO

once the villain you’re the villain to the end

i completely forgot abt this scene since i’ve been reading the oliver twist book and in that dodger gets arrested and fagin gets hanged but here they get away?

god this is bittersweet

I THINK WE’D OUGHT TO THINK IT OUT AGAIN!!!!!

thats where the film should have ended, i get olivers the main character but it ending on dodger and fagin walking out into the sunset is such a pleasing ending man

oliver gets his happy ending abt time

YES CONSIDER YOURSELF AND BE BACK SOON (THE BIGGEST BANGERS IN THE FILM) CREDITS SONGS!!

well.. that was a journey and half

#oliver! #oliver twist #oliver #oliver! 1968 #oliver 1968 #charlie’s comfort movies #oliver twist 1968 #oliver! the musical #oliver the musical #musicals #1960s #1960s movies #60s #mark lester #jack wild #oliver reed #ron moody #shani wallis #and everyone else in the huge ass cast

[rowaelin-is-endgame]

Idk if anyone here was around on TOG Tumblr circa after queen of darkness but before empire of storms... but the Elriel vs Gwynriel shipping war is giving me mad Malide vs everyone who shipped those characters with anyone else vibes.

Nobody knows what is going happen. Seriously. Nobody does. People ship characters bc they see the possibility of tension or romantic attraction and they like it. Stop treating everyone else like they are stupid for seeing that with different people than you. Fr.

I keep seeing a lot of racists, sexist, and ableist behavior being thrown around rn. Anyone participating in that needs to actually shut the fuck up. Stop being racist. Stop being sexist. Stop being ableist. Nobody should have to tell you that.

Secondly, this is fucking Sarah J. Maas people. Nothing is set in stone. NOTHING. She follows her heart on the page no matter how much prior planning or setup she has had, she will make the pairing she want canon. Even if in the grand scheme of her previous story it is massively illogical.

Stop treating people like shit about faerie porn. None of you people know what is going to happen bc Sarah doesn't really know what is going to happen until she actually writes the book.

That's my one fandom post of the half decade, see y'all again in a few years.

#acotar #sjmaas #sjm fandom #acosf #elain #azriel #gwyneth berdara #lucien #Elriel #Gwynriel

[bellamyblakru]

HEYYYYYYY i’m so excited to respond to ur ask it made me so happy to see u in my notifs and i’m so excited for u for ur milestone! anyways i kinda want all of them but i decided to cut down to 🥺 :)))) 👀 pls rant i will read it all and ☕️ for morgwen andddd manon from the tog books. <3 <3 :*

HEY AMY!!! i hope you had a lovely day today🥺thank you for the ask💞

🥺- for my mutuals, ill talk about why i follow you and why everyone should be as well

omg im pretty sure i met and started following you like the day of that bellamy scene™️ because i remember thinking how fucking horrendous that episode ended, and, at the same time, how amazing that night on tumblr was aksnakaaj. so that night, tumblr was a fucking disaster and chaotic and funny asf. i remember texting @tkstrrand the entire ep (bc she couldn’t watch it for some reason) like how boring it was/how she wasn’t missing much blahblah and then when the death scene happened at the last fucking second, i sent her about a thousand separate incoherent texts in the span of like two minutes LOL tumblr was in shambles and i made a few posts about how fucking dumb the show was—one post i made i told my few new followers to fuck the 100 and just watch merlin and you texted me about it!! we have literally so much in common (with merlin, atla, the 100, tog!!!) that when you texted me about how you felt about that scene compared to merlin’s ending, my thought was like “this blog is so kind and we feel the same way and i need to follow asap.”

you are literally so sweet and lovely to talk to🥺that night™️ may had been disastrous, but i can look on it with a lighter heart because we met because of it!! every time we talk i always smile so much (and dw, i know i still have to get clone wars for our boy anakin👀👀)

dude, everyone should be following you because your blog is incredible, your tags are superb, and you are literally one of the sweetest people i’ve met on here😭💞 i adore you.

👀 - and ill tell you a parallel from merlin or the 100 that still fucks me up

this post for merthur still FUCKS ME UP by @camelotsheart

THE EYES. THE GIFSET’S BEAUTIFUL COLORING. THE EYES. EYES. I CANT. THIS GIFSET HAUNTS ME. parallels, man, i fucking love them.

☕️ + send me a ship/character/movie/book and ill give you my opinions on it

my opinions on morgwen:

I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I SHIP IT WITH MY WHOLE ASS SOUL. dude, their potential as a ship is incredible����i fucking love them together. i wrote them as a side pairing in my first multi-chapter merthur fic and i adored writing their interactions and dynamic sm. if morgana was going to be with anyone, my first choice will always be gwen. i also read them as a pairing in fics all the time because the pure power-couple potential is insane.

hot ☕️ here™️: i think if someone was to bring morgana back from the brink of hatred, it should have been gwen (not merlin). so, like, i could definitely see merlin telling her about his magic and whatnot and maybe that would have stopped her from going dark side...but...i didn’t think merlin should have (ekk probably an unpopular opinion).

see, i love merlin with my entire heart..and tbh telling uther fucking pendragon’s ward that he had magic was just too much of a gamble—especially with arthur’s life on the line, which literally became merlin’s sole purpose in life (another matter for a different essay™️). i understand his need to keep it a secret from her even more when the large reptile repeatedly got into merlin’s head that she was bad news from the jump (also another matter for a different essay™️).

SO. that leaves two options for our miserable magical gal: arthur or gwen. now, i honestly believe arthur wouldn’t have hurt her if he was told. and i even think he may have became more sympathetic to the magical community because of it—especially when he saved mordred wayyyy early on that cemented the fact that arthur was not uther. but i can also understand why morgana wouldn’t tell arthur, and it’s pretty much the same reason merlin didn’t tell her about his magic: the risk was too big and she didn’t want to gamble her life with an unknown reaction.

now we get to the main point: gwen would have been the best option for her. whether it is platonic or not, gwen was always there for morgana. gwen is such a kind, loving soul, and she deeply respected and adored morgana—you can tell by the way she smiled around her in the beginning seasons, how she would get her flowers, how she would worry about morgana’s wellbeing. even though gwen was morgana’s servant, she cared for her in more ways than were required and it showed. they were best friends. the entire incident with gwen’s father, which was horrendous, might be the reason gwen would be rightfully upset about the subject of magic; however. she knew her father wasn’t magical, she knew uther was a tyrant, and she knew morgana’s heart. someone is gonna tell me that if morgana had explained to gwen what happened, how her magic was innate, how morgana would never fucking choose to have magic anywhere near her shithead guardian (who probably would have killed her imo if he knew bc you know the whole “fire will purify” bullshit), that gwen would hate her??? I MEAN LITERALLY WATCH THE LAST EPISODES AGAIN. when QUEEN GWEN realizes that the whole time it was merlin saving everyone’s asses, and she connected all the dots, her face showed nothing but pure understanding and acceptance.

gwen was such an underused character. her fucking potential arcs could have been phenomenal (again, LOL, another matter for a different essay™️), and the way canon made morgana use gwen was fucking gross and im not a fan🙃 but fuck canon. i ship them and i love them to pieces ✌🏻thank you for coming to my talk✌🏻

my opinions on manon mf blackbeak:

oh boy, where do i start? i would die for her...is that too extreme for the starting place? i fucking LOVE manon blackbeak dude. oh my god, so, remember when her and aelin fought for the first time in QoS? i remember jumping up from my lounging position with my hand over my smiling mouth because i love both of these badass hardcore women with everything i am. i mean, aelin owns my ass (she is probably my favorite character of all time rn) but manon hits differently. her storyline at the beginning was so bleh, but, man, did it escalate fast to “holy shit” to “i fucking love her” to “oh fuck im sobbing.”

the only thing i will complain about with her character in canon was the fact that my girl was straight???? excuse me?? she has been alive for fucking forever and she is straight? no. i cant accept that. tbh i ship manon and elide🥺 (i also ship dorain and chaol oops). but her character development was everything and i cant think too long on what happens because i will start crying tbh sksjsmakks

okay wow im so sorry for, uh, spilling every thought i had into this. it legit took me like a day to respond 😔

i appreciate you so much. thank you🥺💞

#ashley answers #ashleycelebrates #mutuals💞 #IM SORRY FOR ANOTHER RANT HOLY SHIT #this post will be fucking long im so sorry lmfaooo #long post #the 100 #merlin parallels #morgwen #manon blackbeak #merlin meta #kinda again? #i go into morgwen tbh and how much more incredible the show could’ve been tbh #morgana pendragon #bbc gwen #also lol if anyone feels differently sorry😔this is just how ya girl thinks #ashley rants #okay im exhausted gn everyone see ya tomorrow

[clownsnake]

ok so my tl is all hussie hate please tell me what this man has done (so i can bully him as well)

Off the top of my head, he’s had a repeated habit of getting into controversies, what with:

-team special olympics. idk much to do with that but ppl have said tht it’s shitty and with that info + just judging by the name, I Do Not want to look it up. Idk if he apologized for it, i don’t care. if anyone wants to provide more info on this issue go ahead!

-saying that the homestuck kids are ‘aracial’ (already controversial & not a creative decision I agree with outside of podcasts & non-graphic novels) but then making the trickstermode versions of them ‘caucasian’ (idk if he made a great apology for that, but I think many POC fans were still upset even after his apology. Look it up & judge for urself wether he got to the heart of the issue)

-the epilogues. He made jane into a trump allegory, instead of just making Jade trans for the whole yiffany plot point he GAVE HER A DOG DICK, hired an incest shipper for the album art(? I think? I know there was an artist involved who ships prospitcest, I just dk if it was for album art or w/e) as well as someone who wrote bro/dave fics, general character bastardization upsetting a lot of people, and hired (in my opinion) very pretentious writers. Generally a dick move, aside from the morally fucked shit.

-hs2, continuing off of the dick move of the epilogues with yiffany! Minimal rosemary post-that flower shit (which is... you know, the biggest piece of lgbt rep in hs. This is just something tht irks Me, so if u don’t want to count that against him go ahead), more pretentiousness, and other shit I’m too lazy to bring up rn. There’s some dirt on some of the writers being shit (like Kate “im gonna post nudes on twitter where kids can easily find them, and scream about how much I hate children when I get called out for it” Mitchel, and optimistic “i said that anyone who disagrees with Kate should die” duelist), and their behavior doesn’t really dictate how I view hussie ASIDE FROM 1. The fact that HE hired them and 2. The fact that he’s Friendly with them. He willingly chose to associate with them by putting them in charge of his most successful work.

-skaianet controversy.. idk what the whole bs with that is, I didn’t read it, but apparently he made hitler related to the human cast of homestuck?? And aside from that it was just generally very insensitive? Like I said I didn’t read it, it wasn’t rlly worth my time, so if anyone wants 2 correct me go ahead. He retconned it & apologized for it so that was cool. Still fucked up tht he did that tho.

-the odd gentleman controversy. The story for a while has been that TOG stole hiveswap’s Kickstarter money for some other game, but recent allegation have been that 1. Hussie got TOG to make art for one of homestuck’s animations while they were being hired to work on hiveswap, thus wasting their time 2. TOG worked on a side gig, kings quest, while hussie wanted them 2 make art for him. TOG’s time was allegedly being wasted, so I allegedly back this decision. & 3. Hussie was apparently prone to last-minute decisions, like the 3D to 2D switch in hiveswap style. According to TOG’ claims, the 3D version of hiveswap act 1 was complete in 2014 and work on act 2 had already begun, when hussie suddenly decided hey! Let’s redo all this shit & make it 2D! It fits my ~artistic vision~ more. :) Again, we don’t know if TOG’s claims are true or if the claims of TOG stealing the Kickstarter money are true, but if TOG’s claims are true,,,,,, then hussie wasted their time And a million twelve year olds’ money that was given to the Kickstarter. I’m willing to bet that their claims are true, bc the timeline matches up with what we know, and this all seems.... very in-character for hussie. (Also idk TOG’ pronouns, rip. Someone plz let me know this info I don’t want 2 misgender anyone)

Wether or not you want to hold him accountable for any of this stuff, you gotta recognize the fact that he has made a habit of being a douche. I don’t trust him to avoid getting in controversies like this in the future, and I don’t trust him to make good decisions about homestuck from now on. The tone of the epilogues very much seems like it’s author fucking hates his creation & his characters, and if his burnout-fueled spite keeps on going the way it’s going, he’s gonna make more decisions just to piss of fans.

Tl;dr: hussie has repeatedly gotten into controversies, some of which aren’t properly apologized for, and I don’t trust tht he won’t do shit like this again. He just has bad vibes.

If anyone wants to correct me on anything, or add onto this go ahead! I’m in a rush rn so I can’t look things up 2 confirm stuff atm, I gotta get 2 class,, for more info I recommend checking out abraxas-calibrator’s blog! I learned a lot from searching thru there. (Also my memory is shit, so I probably definitely mixed some things up)

#anon #asks #sorry this is long #hs #I could also go into how his self insert character (as an adult) harassed vriska & repeatedly asked her to marry him (while she was a minor) #but idk if he apologized 4 that. still a gross thing 2 write.. #edit: it keeps going. This webcomic lasted Y E A R S& it was made by a white cishet guy in 2009 where the r slur was frequently used #by many ppl #if you really want to dig up A L L the dirt on him you are diving into a fucking rabbit hole my friend #I could go into more issues I have w/ his behavior & writing but if I did this post would be miles long