#but uhm chile anyways

[68spidey]

The first time he met his daughter, Minerva.

Wow I wonder if there's any important reason she's in a rainbow blanket and he's about to start sobbing, hmm hmm.

#uhm chile anyways so #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2k17 #2k17 raph #poppa raph #2k17 minerva #oc #art of koi #little rainbow baby #comic

[decentgarbage]

I put a fork in the toaster mother, please don’t be mad :]

okay, but like… why did you thought it was a good idea..?

#you ask i answer #im confused asf chile #(✨She’s one of my friends✨) #Uhm chile ANYWAYS SO- #I See Ur sins #⁉️ Lane approved?! #m0ssy-mushr00m

[yourdicc]

#uhm chile... anyways💀💀💀 #kenjaku #choso

[miraclescrest]

beep beep!!

"Digimon function best when their partners are able to bring out the best in them. So that might be why a shy guy like Dokunemon might just be a good fit for you."

"He's not much of a looker, but he's got a great personality! Arukenimon isn't for the faint of heart, so be ready for her, you'll be fine, promise!"

#spiderstaff #ask. #meme day. #v-mon with arukenimon baggage: uhm chile; anyway #gives her a d-3 for the reference and also the funny

[rosyblooom]

all u need is a platform x | ln4 smau

PAIRING: lando norris x fem love island contestant!reader SUMMARY: y/n makes a one-off comment about lando norris being her type in a confessional, and the internet rolls with it all the way to lando norris' twitch stream. A/N: just bc i love me some love island 😌

Love Island UK

Twittter

Twitch

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yourusername

liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris, yourfriend and 105,830 others

yourusername alright guys, public voting is open! go, go, go!! make sure to vote for the person you want off your screens, so don't vote for y/n!!! tell your friends, family, everyone! we don't wanna see our girl go home anytime soon!! thanks u guys 🥰🥰

#LoveIsland

view all 2,956 comments

username she's one of my favourite islanders🫶 stunning girl

landonorris so if we vote for her she comes OUT you say?👀

yourusername don't you dare🤣 username LMAOO LANDO U BETTER NOT SABOTAGE💀💀

username ugh she's so annoying she needs to stfu🙄 hope she goes home on friday

username he's in the likes👀 ohhh the show's just getting started I see🍿

username I've voted babes! (not y/n of course)

(liked by author)

username I'm sry but I'm gonna have to vote for my girl y/n BUT HEAR ME OUT it's bc there's a better man by the name of lando out here for her I think 😃

username sooo valid (I'm doing the same lmao) landonorris 😊 yourusername uhm- you guys😭😭

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Love Island UK

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loveisland

liked by yourbestfriend, _jackfowler_, landonorris and 176,488 others

loveisland The public has voted, and that means goodbye to this firecracker! 🧨👋 By the looks of it, it seems Y/N might not need to do much searching for fish in the sea though... 👀

view all 3,582 comments

username ok lando pack it up, jack fowler is in the likes😩

username ugh jack is so fine🫦 username LMAO NOT TOO MUCH ON MY BBY LANDO NOW😭

landonorris 🐠

username lmaooo ENOUGH username help he's so real😭

username finally the bitch is gone

username uhm... chile anyways so

username ppl need to stop putting her up there with maura, amber and the lot cause she's absolutely nowhere close bffr. I rlly don't see the hype🙄

username she's literally the first to break 1 million followers lmao the hype is very much alive even if u don't wanna see it😌 username yeah and how many of those are lando fans hm? exactly username oooh u sound bitter babe xx

username lando and y/n better freaking date soon tho cause if I find out this was all in vain I'm literally gonna flip😭

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thesun

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tagged: landonorris, yourusername

thesun Popular ex-Love Island contestant, Y/N L/N, has arrived in the UK to a warm welcome at Heathrow Airport, where she was greeted by family, friends, and a horde of fans.

Speculation about a potential romance between her and the famous F1 driver, Lando Norris, has been rife on the internet for the past few weeks. Many believe this could be the reason for her sudden dumping from the island, as fans allegedly orchestrated her exit in hopes of pairing the two together.

view all 1,028 comments

username lando can do so much better than some trashy reality tv star 😑

username i got a pic with her!! she was such a sweetheart❤️

username im so excitedddd omg

username let's see what happens now then...😁

username 👀👀

username omg why are ppl still talking about her smh

username i voted for her so it better pay off🙏 i'm looking at u lando

username me and you both 🤝

yourusername posted to her story!

[ caption 1: i'm backkk ] [ caption 2: cake bc there's 1.5 million of u guys here😭 AHHH TYSM 🫶🫶 ]

[ tagged: yourbestfriend, yourfriend + more ]

yourusername

liked by yourbestfriend, landonorris, _jackfowler_ and 220,748 others

yourusername back in essex and straight to catching up with my lovelies xxx

view all 3,001 comments

username lando norris dating announcement when 😃

username lmaooo her bed in the villa ain't even cold yet😭😭 username real! he should've picked her up from the airport smh chivalry is so dead😞

username telling you all about lando i hope

username and the fact that it's all lando's fault that you were voted off 😋 username LOL DON'T PIN THIS ON HIM NOW

landonorris welcome back y/n!

username loool what happened to ur free shoulders 🤣🤣

username JACK FOWLER STAY TF BACK 🤺🤺🤺 we're team lando + y/n here!!!

username IKTR😌

yourusername posted to her story!

[ caption: don't need ur shoulders, just ur arms and car 😌 ]

[ tagged: landonorris ]

f1gossipofficial

liked by username, username, username and 14,026 others

f1gossipofficial Lando Norris has been spotted once again in the company of ex-Love Island contestant Y/N L/N, marking the fourth time in the past month the pair has been seen together in London. This time, fans observed them enjoying dinner together, appearing particularly close as they laughed and had their arms around each other.

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username real ones know y/n from the first ep of love island😌🫶

username I've been summoned🫡

username love island is bottom of the barrel trash smh anyone who enters that show is a dumbass

username lol okay.... anyway they look cute together🥰

username ahh u guys remember when y/n was in the villa and we'd all wait for lando's tweets during love island🥹 those were the times

username i wanted them together but now it's like when you watch a film in the cinema and then reach its end like what now?🧍‍♀️ username fanpage babe. u make a fan page trust me x

username ew keep her away from lando🤢

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yourusername

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tagged: landonorris

yourusername thank u love island 🤭

view all 6,935 comments

username AHHH FINALLY IVE BEEN PRAYING FOR THIS🤩

username what do u wanna bet she only has 2 gcses🙄

username well that's a whole lot better than lando's 0 🤣

username @/yourusername i need ur game card RIGHT NOW cause i want mason mount 😩

yourusername all u need is a platform x username brb gonna apply for love island now🏃‍♀️💨

landonorris I think you missed a few spots baby

yourusername lol xxx username oh he's whipped lmaooo

username WHO VOTED Y/N OUT?? WE FUCKING DID ITTTT

username present🫡 username the way we had a vision and look at us now😌 we love to see it username cheers to us masterminds 🍻

whitbrownxs love you guys ❤️

yourusername ly bby xxx

1:06 ──ㅇ────────── 4:11

#f1 smau #f1 fanfic #f1 #f1 x reader #lando norris #lando norris x reader #ln4 #ln4 x reader #ln4 imagine #f1 imagine #ln4 x you #lando norris smau #lando norris x female reader #lando x y/n #lando x you #lando norris fanfic #smau #lando norris fluff #lando norris imagine #f1 instagram au #fanfic #f1 fic #lando x reader #ln4 fic #f1 scenario #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 #lando norris one shot #formula 1 x you

[magicalfairyshits]

ever just think about the people who bring your class to life, actually leaving to go to a different school???

its a pretty fucking depressing way to start summer off innit???

#(: #im very depressing yes #k #uhm #chile anyways so… #ok bye #someone take away my phone

[xenizaation]

permanent

pairing: fem! reader x choi san (ft kim hongjoong)

genre: angst, friends to lovers, smut

general warnings: depictions of a depressive state, mourning of partner, self-blame and slight ptsd

sexual warnings: dirty talk, pet names, manual stimulation, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected sex, creampie,

word count: 12.6k

summary: they say moving on is hard. you find that it's even harder when in the process of it, you have to accept your feelings for your friend as well.

less important a/n: ok so this was supposed to be like 5k long 🙃🙃...chile, anyways. uhm, this came from me bottling my emotions up for the last 5 months and I just wanted to let some of my suffering out in some kind of way. even if it is far from what I feel (I feel the need to specify that the events related below aren't inspired from my life, happily so). read at your own discretion, for I have tried my best to make you feel horny and miserable at the same time 🥰🥰🥰 stay safe xoxo

a/n from long later: hi i wrote this about a year ago and i found it in my drafts and hey why wouldn't i post it after not posting something in ages? haha. enjoy! altough it's probably rlly bad and full of mistakes hihi, i ain't reading this again to correct it. i love you muah

______________________________________________________

The cold air felt like needles poking at your bare skin. You ran as fast as you could, barefoot in the woods, feeling every little scratch that was tearing open the skin of your soles and staining it with fresh blood. Your lungs were holding hostage a fire as you were inhaling the cold night air, and the sweat you felt dribbling down your face and back was only of help to make you feel even colder. You looked behind, once, twice, and then a third time too, slowly reducing your pace until it came to a halt.

"What am I running away from?" you ask yourself looking around. There was nothing, no one after you. So why were you running for your life? Your heart starts to beat faster as you hear screams coming from deep within the trees. But you don't run. You can't run anymore. You just fall to the ground, embracing your knees to your chest.

"Me!"

You don't turn around. That voice is way too familiar to make you turn around. Your mouth hangs open as you try to scream but no sound comes out as your muffled moans remain drowned in the deepest point if your throat.

You gasp for air as you wake up shaking your head relentlessly, in order to try to snap yourself back to the reality you're in- so your heart would stop beating so damn fast. You groan as you look over at the watch on your nightstand and see it spell 3:37 AM. You grab your phone from next to it and shut your eyes closed at the sudden brightness the screen displays. You manage to decrease it and open your contacts.

"Still awake?" you ask, and you know you shouldn't. He always offers you more than you can give back, more than you deserve. But you can't help yourself. You cannot deny yourself the little peace you still have in your life.

"Yeah, wassup?"

"Can you call?" you hit send and it's a matter of seconds between him receiving the message, him reading the message and then his name popping up on your screen. You answer.

"Again?" San questions from the other end of the phone. You only hum in affirmation. He sighs softly as you lay down on your side, phone trapped between your ear and the pillow. You hear the clicking of the keyboard and mouse clearly, he must be working late again. And yet he always answers. More than many people you've met did for you.

"Tell me a story." you ask once again. For the...well you've lost count.

"You know, one day I'm going to be out of stories," he answers and lets out a chuckle. Bathing in your silence, he takes his time to think about what he could tell you. As he begins, you close your eyes and imagine whatever he is helping you picture inside your head. Be it the times when he was a little kid and used to walk with his grandparents down the side of a river, or the times he was a teen and was always struggling to get out of trouble, San always gave you a vast amount of details that made you worship his each and every story. And they always made you dream something pretty when you dozed out of consciousness with him still talking on the other end. This night was no exception, so when you wake up, you send him a text that expresses your gratitude as always.

"Listen, if you still want a contract renewal you need to publish something within next year," you look at your boss and feel every word he lays out weighing your body down like you're going to fall through the floor. "I get writer's block, I really do. And we gave you time. You took your time. But it's been almost two years now..." his words stop reaching your ears as you're reminded. One year, ten months and twelve days. And still counting. The count will never stop, you realize, as the event it started from cannot be reversed. You will always be stuck in a period of time since it happened.

"You're one of the biggest names here in our publishing house, Y/N. We don't want to lose you but at the same time we can't keep focusing on you if it will be to no avail." he is right. He is always right, your boss. Always had a strategic mindset, and that always helped both of you. Except now. Now he was asking for something you couldn't offer.

"I'm sorry," you manage to blurt out. "I'm trying my best and I know it's not enough." if you had to be honest, hearing yourself say those words out loud made your heart break even more that it already was. Partly because it was true, and the rest? Because it sounded like you were asking for compassion, which you thought was pathetic. You never liked people looking at you the way you caught yourself looking at homeless individuals.

"I'm gonna get something out, ok? I promise you, just please have a little more faith in me. I need you to trust me to be able to do this."

You look up and make eye contact with him. Park Seonghwa was never one who showed compassion. But as his gaze traced over your fingers picking at your cuticles, the dryness of your lips and the shadows of your hollowed eyes, you felt something you grew too accustomed with in the last almost two years of your life.

Pity.

"Come on, let me take you out on Thursday." San pleaded as he was following in your steps down the hallway of the company you worked in. You didn't expect your little trip to talk to your boss would end with this. "You literally have nothing to lose." He completed and you stopped, facing him. You met his familiar and comforting eyes, which always reminded you of a cute fox, and his dimpled smile as he watched you keenly. It has been almost four years since he started working at the same company you did, but since the beginning, you two were more than just work colleagues. It was the type of connection where you would understand each other from simple looks into the other's eyes or where you could easily finish each other's sentences. You liked to consider him your platonic soulmate but you knew that if you hadn't had a relationship at the time you two met, you would've have surely gone out together and maybe made a good couple.

Well...now you didn't have a relationship anymore but you weren't exactly in the right headspace for one.

By now, you and all the rest of your workmates knew how big of a crush he had on you, but you never let it get out of control. You were feeling kind of guilty, to be honest. Knowing that in a way, you were using it to your advantage for your sleepless nights or the ones in which sleep was ruined by nightmares. But you were sure he was getting his benefits from it as well.

"Look, I want to but I really don't wanna be a bitch to you if I suddenly feel like shit." you reply, and in all honestly, it was true. Your mood hasn't been so stable lately, understandably so.

"Well, how about this: if you wake up in a good mood on Thursday and decide it's okay to hang out, you text me, and we do whatever you feel comfortable with. And if we do go out and do something together and you end up feeling like shit then you'll tell me and I'll get you home in the fastest way possible for a human being. How does it sound?"

Not bad. He is giving you every little piece of comfort that you knew you needed but you never asked for. So you agree. It wouldn't be the first time you hang out with San, sure, you never called them dates, because to you they were not. But you knew that for any outsider it looked exactly like that. And who is to blame? You two always worked hand in hand just so well. These no-pressure type of meet-ups you two had always made you feel comfortable so that was why you were considering it this time as well.

Days pass and you spend them stuck in your home, drowning in your bitter memories and your regrets. The taste of guilt never becomes sweet, you think. Not like how alcohol does when you drink more and more of the same kind. No. Guilt only grows in bitterness and in how it burns down your throat, feeling like it swirls all of your insides once it reaches your stomach. In a way, guilt feels like the long estranged sister of love. Both let their essence hover in your mind for however long they like.

As you rise from your bed to make some hot coffee you think of what day it is. Between the mix of reliving the moments long gone in the same apartment you still stand, and the countless intents to come up with something that you could present to your boss, you didn't know which one made you lose track of time more. You checked your phone for a bit of clarity. No new messages or notifications. At this point, everyone knew better than to bother you with their worries.

Thursday.

Well, seems like you had to cancel out on someone, you thought as you tried grabbing the coffee pot on the stove, but lost in your thoughts, you pay no attention to the handle and drop the pot on the kitchen tiled floor as soon as you feel the skin on your palm burn. You swore and quickly took a few steps back so the burning coffee on the ground wouldn't get to your bare feet. You shook your hand trying to get a cold breeze to the inflamed skin but it only made it feel worse. As you stopped to look at the damage you realized it wasn't all that bad, but it sure stung like a motherfucker. You ran your hand under the cold water of the sink and looked to your right. The brown liquid on the ground was expanding, getting in every little crevice in between the tiles.

****

Coffee was getting everywhere. It splashed on the kitchen counters, it was slowly getting under them too. You froze for a few seconds after your mug made contact with the floor, shattering to dozens of pieces.

"Well, that can't be a good sign." your lover said from behind you finishing with a low chuckle. You smiled, turning on your heels and taking in his form. You woke him up, well, the mug woke him up actually. Approaching you slowly, with a slight limp in his walk and his shoulders dropped all the way down, his hair was fluffed up and his skin a nice shade of pale with a few lines from the pillow on his left cheek. He always looked so angelic, you never could put it into words, how it made you feel, seeing him first thing in the morning. It was something that made your insides crazily stir up but made gave you a sense of tranquility, at the same time. That was how loving him usually was. Two opposite sides walking hand in hand. He grabbed you by the waist and pulled you closer to him, softly pressing his lips against the crown of your head. You joined your hands behind his torso and inhaled deeply. Your heart skipped a beat as your lungs felt intoxicated with his smell.

"Today is the big day, huh?" his voice was still hoarse as he spoke, every word of his drumming in your ears. You nodded.

"I'm really nervous." you answered and let your forehead drop against his shoulder. He hugged you tighter with the hand around your waist and gently pat your head with the other.

"I know, angel. But it's gonna be alright, ok? Your friends will be there, your parents will be there and I will be there. You can lean on me." he said kissing your cheek. "You know that, don't you?" his face right in front of yours, you responded with nothing more than a slow kiss. A kiss that was rehearsed so many times before that your lips and tongues already knew what they had to do, how they had to move around each other. Sometimes it felt like a dream, how everything came so easy with Hongjoong. How you didn't have to think twice about what you wanted from him and with him. And for all you knew, and all he had shown you across the time spent together, he didn't do that either. Every morning next to him felt like the luckiest one, and every night with him ended just the same. And you knew that if you were to live a hundred more years alongside him, you still wouldn't get enough of his embraces, or kisses or just simply him. There was nothing in the world that could cure the insatiable love you felt for the man in front of you.

As he pulled away from the kiss he gestured with his head behind you. "Now how about I clean the mess you made, and you make coffee for both of us? We have a book launch to attend, after all." you laughed and kissed him again.

*****

As your breath got heavier and your eyes started to burn up you unconsciously took your phone from the kitchen counter.

"a picnic would be perfect" you text your friend. The desire to get out of the prison your house has become, growing bigger by the second.

"Tell me if this isn't an appropriate question," you heard the man next to you say, derailing your train of thought as you directed your attention towards him. The weather is hot today, it really was a good call, suggesting a picnic. You haven't been on one in a long while and you missed feeling of how the calm of the nature overwhelmed most of your senses. Also, you couldn't handle a complicated social situation on this day. So it was perfect right now, laying on a blanket, stranded in a flower freckled field with none other than San. You turn your head towards him. " What made you want to go out today?" he completed, not looking at you. He was laying on his back, with one arm under his head and his eyes closed, as if he feared the reaction you were going to have to his words. You didn't blame him for asking. In a similar situation where the roles would be reversed, you knew for sure you would ask too. After all, you and San were made of many of the same things. " Don't get me wrong, I'm happy you agreed, but it didn't seem like you would." he adds.

"Some days my house feels like a torture chamber." you say turning on your side and facing him, supporting your head on your angled arm. He was so still, you could barely even notice the way he slowly breathed in and out. It was as if the sun was painting his portrait and he was afraid to move, to not mess it up. Every ray that was falling on his exposed skin seemed to caress him the way a lover does.

"And some days it does its job." you completed after returning on your position on your back, mimicking his. "Today just didn't felt like one of the days I'd like to be tortured." you finished and felt his gaze on you right before you closed your eyes. If you thought he seemed worried, you made sure not to address it.

"One time when I was little, I was playing with a friend of mine," you smiled, realizing this is just the beginning of one of his captivating stories. "I don't remember how we got to that point, but he left me in a room and said he was gonna lock me there, and so he got out and he did." a bit darker than what he usually tells you, but still intriguing.

"At first I thought it was fun, that we would take turns locking each other in the room but he wasn't coming back. The room had only one window but it was locked when I tried to open it and get out. So I just waited. I think hours passed, it was getting dark and I was getting worried and hungry, thought I'll be stuck there forever, until it crossed my mind. I never even tried to open the door. Turns out it didn't even have a keyhole."

"San, if you're trying to put me to sleep with this one, just know it doesn't really work." you say smirking, still holding your eyes closed as you let the sun bathe your face.

"I'm not, Y/N. I'm trying to tell you that most of the times, the doors aren't locked. We just think that they are." he responds and you open your eyes to look into his. His look is full of compassion, and a bit of sadness that you choose to overlook. You finally understand what he means to tell you and you realize he is right. But even if a door isn't locked, you shouldn't open it unless you're ready to do so. You gently touch the back of his hand, and he is quick to caress your fingers with his thumb, changing his focus to where your hands are joined.

"Thank you," your words came out more like a whisper than you would've liked. "I know I don't do much for you...but I'm hoping I'm not that much of a nuisance, like I feel I am." he turns his hand, joining his fingers with yours and making eye contact with you. The simple gesture of affection made your head dizzy in a way you haven't felt in a long time. Your heart creaks up a little.

"You couldn't be one even if you tried," he said, his gaze lazily tracing the outlines of your face. You were the most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his life, even now. Even after all the hardships you've been through, and that you're still going through. The adoration his heart held for you never stopped burning, no matter how much he wished for it to do so. For San, loving you was as easy as it sounded and as hard as it could get. Setting his eyes on the bags under your eyes he recalled a memory that stood like a scar on his brain. Your eyes were so dark that day, your eye bags a shade of purple he hadn't seen on any painting quite yet. Your lips were pale and chapped and your skin looked like it lost all its pigment.

Black didn't suit you so well, he thought. Not when it was worn the way you were wearing it then.

But the worst came when it was time to say goodbye. He still remembered your cries and wails and it made the skin on his spine tremble in its place. Could he ever forget how, on that day, you looked like the angel of death?

Now you looked better...like life was coming, little by little, back into your body, and the pure sunlight was definitely helping it. He should let the sun see you more often, he thought.

You pulled your hand from his when you felt like his eyes were analyzing your features for a bit too long. Rising in a standing position, you started examine the insides of the basket he prepared.

"Oh my God! You brought me watermelon!" you shouted loudly as you took the container holding the red pieces of fruit in it. The only thing San could do at your reaction was laugh, throwing his head back to look at the puffed up white clouds.

Four days since you brushed your teeth, three since you showered, two since you changed your clothes, one since you ate, and one year, eleven months and fourteen days since you've last held the love of your life in your arms. But, hey, who's keeping count anyways?

Time loses all its meaning when you confine yourself like you are some dangerous animal meant to be locked up in a cage. Between the moments you try to stay awake and the ones you try to sleep, you have little to remember. The only thing that gives a little light to the fog in your brain is San. His stories in the middle of the night, conversations you happen to have during the day and occasional meetings that you're always the one to initiate. He always makes you feel good, always picks the right words to say and you don't know how he has the patience for such things. You love and hate him for it. You love him for being such a considerate and kind person, and you hate him for making you forget. It's strange when you get home and reality dumps on you at the front door. The reality you actually live in and not one you indulged yourself to have with San for a few hours. It's just...with him everything is colorful and melodic but when you get home the only thing you hear are your sighs echoing off the walls back into your ears. You wished you could be stuck in the feeling you have around him forever, but at the same time, every time you have that feeling you feel guilty for it. Like it's impossible to allow yourself any sort of break.

The last days have been impossible to get through. All you did was look around at the mess that was around you. A mountain of clothes, waiting to be washed for weeks now, a sink full of dishes and mugs, lots of crumpled sheets on the ground ( proof of all your tries to put something together). Everything was a disaster, inside and out. You had no willpower to do anything about it but you knew that the more you would stay in a shitty space, the more you would feel like shit. So for the first time in months, you opened the window.

*****

He placed the two mugs on the windowsill as he opened the window, allowing the cold breeze of the morning to brush over the exposed skin. He watched you closely as you made sure to turn off the stove and place the coffee pot in the sink. Your eyes met his as you felt the cold air run down your back, giving you shivers. He smiled contentedly at the sight of your body slowly shuddering. The "window" habit was a thing Hongjoong let into the relationship since the beginning of it. It was crazy for you how sometimes you caught him doing it first thing after waking up. You loved to watch him open the window and inhale the morning air with his elbows pressed against the wooden frame. Those moments wouldn't last long, but you treasured them more than he maybe thought about it. There was a thing about this domestic life, and seeing him do his own rituals that had you turn into quite the observer.

"You love to make me cold, don't you?" you smile brightly getting closer and closer, until you reach the space right in front of him.

"Angel, you're so hot in the morning that I'm afraid you might overheat. I need to cool you down a little, don't I?" he says on his usual cheeky tone, the one you grew to love in such little time. As he places his hand on your hip, you take a sip of your coffee. Like your actions served as a reminder of the hot liquid resting in his mug, he does the same.

"I can think of some other ways you could cool me down..." you say as you hook your finger on the front waistband of his pajama pants, sliding it from left to right. He chuckles in his mug and pulls you closer. Your chests rise in unison as you look each other in the eye, you don't say anything but this moment feels like a promise neither of you wants to break.

He looks to his left, at the city and at the people. Taking advantage of the opportunity, you place a few slow kisses on his jaw.

"I want us to find a new place," he says scooping you up as you squeal in surprise. You hook your legs behind his waist instantly while he walks towards the bedroom. "I want a balcony." He completes before kissing you and you laugh into the kiss, thinking of the many ways you two could make use of said balcony. He sure was thinking the same thing you did, giving how he started laughing as well.

His laugh was the only thing you ever wanted to hear again.

*****

You look down at the windowsill and see the brown marks in the body of two circles imprinted on the wooden surface. You always told him to use the damn coasters. Now the wood was stained. Permanently stained. Permanently ruined. Just like you were.

As you get on with cleaning you try to keep your brain busy with thoughts like what you should do after you finish a task, and what you should do after that one is finished as well. You thank yourself for choosing to clean, as you get out of the shower and throw yourself into the bed. Not only does it now smell like flowers, but you're also tired enough for sleep to steal you the minute you close your eyes.

"Ha! Check mate!" San exclaimed from the other side of the table you both were sat at. This was an odd activity that you had never done before. Playing chess, in a park, fully exposed to the summer sun. And you weren't even middle aged. Crazy to see how far the desperation to get out of the house will make someone go. But if it was with San, you were sure that there weren't many place where you wouldn't go.

"Your mind seems to be elsewhere," he said, angling his head innocently like the little puppies do when you tell them not to lick the outlet. His black hair was swooped out of his face, making his cheekbones pop out in a way you didn't think it was more humanly possible.

"Oh, you know damn well I suck at chess, San." you said kicking his queen with your finger. It became clear to him that you were an unfit partner for this game after like, the half of the first match. As the piece made contact with the chessboard, San tittered, making his eyes turn into crescents and his dimples scar his cheeks again.

"You just don't want to learn," he said as he started picking the pawns. You gave him a hand, collecting all the pieces on your side.

"You play the pawns when you still have the queen..." he offered a dramatic sigh as he clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth. True, it was more comfortable to lose with the pawns than with the queen.

"How's the book going?" placing the game of chess in his backpack, he made eye contact with you as he pressed his elbows against the surface in between. You sigh.

"It's not," you admit thinking about all the documents you've erased the last month or every manuscript you tossed in the trash. Nothing was coming together and you hated every word after writing it. Not only was this process driving you mad but it also made you doubt all your abilities as a writer. People would expect more from someone who had a bestseller out there, you thought. But it wasn't your job to rise to anyone's expectation.

"Maybe I was just a one hit wonder." you say smiling sadly. It really did pain you to think that you weren't able to do the sole thing you ever thought yourself good at. But maybe, after you lived in a thousand realities in the past two years (as of today, maybe the reason why you wanted to get out of your home so bad), this was your new one. A reality in which you weren't able to write anymore. Fear was not even close to describe how you felt about the future.

"Don't kid yourself, I know you'll make it eventually." San offers, grabbing your hand in his. "You know, you should be the last person who is hard on yourself." he rubs your hand with his thumb. You wish you could pull away from his touch, or to at least want to pull away. But you don't. His touch is comforting and not a lot of things in your life are that way right now. As you look at him there is a sudden desire to punch yourself in the face, for the only thing that comes through your mind is to thank him again. As you did countless of times before. He did say he grew tired of it.

"You know what I'm in the mood for?" you avoid the subject successfully as he rises his eyebrows, showering you in all his undivided attention. "Drinking my sorrows at a shitty bar." you finish off, painting a big smile on your face. He mirrors it as he sighs through his teeth, letting go of your hand. He notices your intention to avoid talking about anything serious. Anything that might actually help you. You always do it, that is exactly why you talk to him only about nonsense and why, when you call him in the middle of the night (and when he always, always answers) you make him tell you a story. Leaving him to be the only one to talk as you doze off. Never leaving room for him to ask you what is wrong or what you dreamed of. Is how you got on until then, and maybe that is why it went so slowly, the whole "moving on" thing everyone was telling you about. But it was the thing that worked best for you, you figured. Not talking about the elephant in the room got you this far, you can go a little more like that.

"Well, I happen to know the perfect place for that," rising from his seat, he extends his hand towards you. "Shall we?"

You didn't know if it was the alcohol or the bar lights or simply just him. Honestly, you couldn't tell the difference between many things anymore, but as you looked at San talking, you felt more attracted to him than ever. The mole near his eyelid seemed more prominent now, and so did his muscular arms under the fitted shirt he wore, and oh, the freckles painting constellations on his neck. His eyes were sparkling brightly and his teeth were showing from time to time. You looked closely as he licked his lips after taking a sip of his beer. The way he was doing it seemed almost erotic. That one part of your brain that would feel bad for having these thoughts has died when you drank your fourth shot, but you were glad it did. You felt more comfortable now, and with San here, there was not a lot more that you would wish for. Not realistic wishes anyway.

"I need to know which side you stand on," he says angling his body towards yours. "Socks on or off during sleep?" San asks with a serious face, as if he asked if you enjoyed kicking puppies in the face or eating toddlers for dinner. You burst out laughing at the mix of the question and his expression.

"Off, I'm not a psychopath." you answer through your stilled laugh. He frowns.

"Oh no, you're definitely a psycho. Do your feet not get cold?" a bit of frustration could be heard in his voice.

"How would I know? I'm asleep the whole time." you sip from your drink. "Don't tell me you like pineapple on pizza as well..." you plead looking at him.

"And what if I do? It's a good combination! It's like mint chocolate, de-li-cious." San smiles proudly at his outrageous statements. Maybe he is not the person you thought he was. God, he told you so much and yet you still knew so little. That was one of the most intriguing things about him. That you felt like a lifetime wouldn't ever be enough for you to get to know him completely. Like everyday he would pick another thing to like, or something utterly new to do so he doesn't get bored. He always told you how he gets bored of things and people so fast. And yet there he was, still by your side. Maybe you were the mystery he didn't get to solve yet.

"Dude, not toothpaste too.." you cry out as you push his arm, but instead of pushing him, you push yourself. You almost lose your balance off the bar stool, but San's quick reflexes kick in and grab you by the arm, pulling you back in sitting position. He cackles as you try to maintain your balance.

"Maybe we should get you home." he says laying some bills on the bar. You hum in approval and get to your feet as you follow him out of the bar, which was indeed shitty. San is a man of his word.

The walk home was short and calm as you focused more on seeming sober than to what was happening around you. It already got dark as you two strolled past the abandoned streets laughing about things you unwillingly forgot as soon as you finished laughing. This moment, you thought to yourself, is the one that you would remember when a certain song plays. One that will give you the same sensations you feel in this moment. And far away from right now, when you know you will be better, when you listen to that certain song, you'll think wow, so much has changed. That moment could happen 10 days from now, or ten years. You don't know yet. But something about this uncertainty makes you relax somehow, knowing that you still have hope. And most of it is thanks to San. He may not be aware of all the things that he is helping you with, but you are. It's like a mental list that you never stop writing on. Could you ever repay him for any of it?

"Here we are," he says as he places his hand on your shoulder and you take a hold of his arm as he rattles on about not drinking anymore and going to sleep and whatever else he decided to nag you about. Your focus is only on his lips, and then his eyes, and his lips again, and his hand on your arm, and then feeling his arm flexing underneath your touch, and the feeling of being taken care of by someone. You realize you don't want this night to end quite yet.

"Do you wanna come in?" you interrupt, and observe his quick reaction of rapidly shutting his mouth and widening his eyes.

"I could use a live storytelling session right now." you add.

What where you asking for exactly? As you looked at him hesitate for a bit, you weren't sure that you knew either. But after a few seconds of looking around, he hums in approval as he nods and follows you inside your home. It's not as clean as you would wish but not as messy as to apologize for anything. You both take off your shoes and walk into the open space living room. Feeling San's presence close behind you, you turn and signal for him to sit down on the couch as you go to a little counter.

"I have vodka, whiskey and some cherry liquor," you turn your head back towards him. He was sitting on your couch now. But not how someone who entered their friend's apartment for the first time would be expected to sit, no. Because he didn't have that posture of "oh, I don't want to make myself comfortable because my presence here is out of place". No. He looked like he fucking owned the place. Like he payed the bills. Like he chose every single piece of decoration there was inside your home. And you weren't mad about it, if you were being honest. The everlasting confidence that was emanating out his every pore always looked good on him. His legs were spread apart, and you didn't forbid yourself to spend more than a few seconds scanning his thighs, thinking of numerous ways you could make use of them. Prominent Adam's apple marked his throat as his head was thrown back over the backrest. It seemed that he moved in slow motion, lazily pulling his head up and in your direction.

"Glass of whiskey would be nice." he answered through a half pout as his hands splayed even more on the higher edge of the couch. Obeying his orders, you unconsciously let his choice be the one you make as well, so you pour the liquid in two glasses. The strong scent hits you immediately, and you know you won't be able to drink it, the alcohol in your system will reject this on the spot if you dared adventure too far. But you decided back when you invited your friend into your house, tonight was the night you were going to test your limits.

You sit yourself on the couch, next to the man you hide your desire for not so well, closer than you usually would. And he seems to observe regarding the fact that he appears to be leaning a bit into you. Maybe it's in your head. He sips from the glass you hand him, licking his lips again, the gesture he did at the bar seems to be hitting you in a certain, already wet, spot in between your legs as it did a little time ago. He hums right after swallowing the drink, you follow with interest the way his Adam's apple moves up and down. Why is he being so unworldly attractive tonight? Is it really the alcohol or has the sexual tension finally built up enough for you to not be able to take it anymore. You feel an unexpected, but not unwelcomed, ache in your heart and stomach and definitely in your pussy. He places the glass down, with careful fingers, on the table before you and resumes his previous stance, except now one of his hands chooses to rest on the thigh closer to you. You admire it from respectable distance, one which you weren't sure you'd be able to maintain for too long. His hands were clean, nails kept short on his slender long fingers, and the rings adorning them only completed the way his veins were traveling down the back of his palm. Will there ever be a time where you could look at Choi San and not like what you see? Highly doubtful.

"That's some good shit," finally his face catches your attention, and happily so. He looks at you through his lashes, smirking with one corner of his beautiful mouth. You wondered how his lips might feel. On yours, on your neck, your chest, everywhere. "never took you for a whiskey person."

"I'm not," you say through a bittersweet smile and you realize that maybe you really, desperately need the alcohol right now, so you chug some of it down. "it's been laying around." you finish the sentence and then the glass of whiskey and you place it down the table, next to his. The contrast of the glasses, one empty and one half full, makes you amused in some kind of way. It let's you reminiscence of the many times that you heard from a certain someone, how you were always rushed in the most unfit situations. It was true.

As you look back to San, you feel like you are left with no choice than laying on your back and placing your head on his lap. So you do, maybe slower than you feel you move in your drunk-dazed mind. As you nuzzle the back of your head into his thighs, you close your eyes, for your vision was getting blurry and the room slowly spun around.

"You can begin anytime." you sigh out and feel him shifting a bit underneath you. He chuckles lowly and it takes him a few moments to adjust to the situation presented before him, it would be strange to you too. These were exactly the kind of things that you hesitated to do with San, because you partly knew his feelings for you, so you didn't want to give too much water to the well. Exactly the kind of intimacy that would leave room to hope for more, want more.

And not only from his side.

"I met this girl a while ago," he starts and softly places his hand on top of your head, massaging your scalp and slowly pulling at strands of your hair. "she's the whole package. Smart, funny, kind and so fucking hot." , safe to say you don't expect his last words to hit you like they do. A tad bit of jealousy makes its presence felt in the bottom of your heart, thinking that there might be a possibility that he doesn't refer to you. But the slow strokes his fingers offer your head make you feel too good to give it any importance.

"She's got this thing about her, I don't know how to even say it. It's like every time we talk, we knew each other since birth and like the first time we ever met, all at once. It's incredible, really." the way he talked was how you only heard people talk in movies. Hopeless romantic to the very end.

"Sounds like she's got you head over heels." you huff out slightly annoyed.

"Yeah, you'd be shocked," silence following his words, words that had a heartbroken nuance to them. He continues to massage your head and his touch feels so good, so comforting, so familiar. Like he did it every time he saw you, like he at least imagined doing it every time. "she really loves my stories." he adds after what seems to be like forever, and his hand stops, pulling itself out of your proximity. Your eyes shoot open and you find his gaze upon you. At the same time he looks sad, his eyes are also filled with anticipation, of what is to come, of how you would react to the fact that he just confirmed it was you he talked about. You sit up, trying not to let the slight dizziness in your head get the best of you and turn to him. Faces close to each other, studying him one last time before things change between you two. He wants it. And you clearly want it. Both of you so bad that it's not even a surprise how you meet halfway into a kiss. You thank the universe in your head, for it being this way. For you to not beat yourself up too much later that you initiated anything. So you let yourself sink into the feeling of him, his smell intoxicating. You know that it will be hard to not feel it in your lungs for a long time after this, and you were happy for it to be that way. Your lips are shy at first, not used to kissing anymore, not used to someone who hasn't kissed you before. But the feeling is more than pleasant. He takes his time, slowly nipping away at your bottom lip, swiftly pushing his tongue into your mouth. Your teeth clash and you both smile, licking into each other's mouths a bit more. His lips are soft and so warm, this feeling has long been forgotten by your mind. He pulls away and you gasp for air, he reaches to brush the hair out of your face and cups your face gently, looking into your eyes with a glimmer you were sure you haven't seen on him before. But you knew exactly what it meant.

"I don't want it if you don't." he says, assuring you once again that his actions will only be made for your comfort.

"I can't even tell you how bad I want it." your voice soft as it answers, and after receiving your words with wonder on his face, San downs the whiskey left in his glass, only to rush kissing you right after he gulps it down. If the first kiss was both of you navigating uncharted waters, now you were both desiring more. Hungrily devouring each other, whiskey tasted so much better on his tongue. You climbed into his lap as he pulled you closer to his chest. Serving as a reminder, you needed to get that shirt off of him. And as you helped him get rid of it, you weren't even surprised of how he looked even better than what you kept picturing all night. He returned the favor of undressing you of your shirt, and briefly cupped your breasts through your bra as he pulled you into another kiss. His hands quickly running to your waist, pulling you deeper into his lap, feeling him get hard underneath you, moment by moment. One of his palms traveled down to massage your butt cheek through your jeans, and the other quickly moved up to unhook your bra deftly with steady fingers.

"You must be popular with the ladies." you whisper close to his mouth and he chuckles.

"Not with the ones I want." he replies and you jokingly slap his bicep in response. He pulls the bra off throwing it somewhere nearby and admires your chest for a second too long before taking one of your nipples in his mouth. You throw your head back and whimper at the feeling of his tongue swirling around the sensitive part of your breasts. You tangle your fingers in his hair as you try to slowly ride his thigh, feeling the need to get rid of the tension in some kind of way. He let's your nipple out of his mouth with a lewd pop and laughs as he glues his hand to the back of your head, forcing you to look into his eyes.

"Darling if you want something you just need to ask," he brings his mouth over to your chest, planting sprinkled kisses along your collarbones. "my thigh? my fingers? my cock?" he asks in between suctions on the soft, sensitive skin of your neck. You were so sexually frustrated that you thought you were going to cry, and his words definitely didn't help. If something, they only made the tightness in your belly feel even tighter. "Which one will it be?" he asks finally as his eyes find yours again. You barely manage a pathetic whimper as he let's go of your head to unbutton your jeans. His hand slides slowly until it meets the band of your panties, but it doesn't go further, his eyes stopping on your face.

"Fuck, San, I want everything." you finally verbalize for him, your words laced with desperation for him to take things further. He closes his eyes and smiles in satisfaction when hearing your words, resuming the attack on your neck, biting down some marks here and there. His fingers finally get a hold of your clit and you shudder at the sensation. The circular motions he starts only make you moan his name quietly, through whimpers. It's been so long since you touched yourself like that, let alone somebody else. Masturbation was a thing you couldn't get back into since everything happened. Every time you tried, your mind only pictured Hongjoong, and it always ended with you crying without releasing in any kind of way. That was how you spent the last two years of your life, no wonder you were sexually frustrated. But now, the only thing on your mind was San, and how you could get him to make you cum faster. The position wasn't really a favorable one, he didn't have much access and so, his movements were limited and slow. San sinks his hand further down, teasing your hole with his middle finger, coating it in your arousal.

"You're so wet baby," he slowly pushes his finger into you, wandering into your inside, and your tightness. It did definitely feel like rain after a long drought. He pumped his finger inside you a few times, adding an extra one after a few seconds, stretching you in a way that has become unfamiliar but satisfying all the same. He fastened his pace and you unconsciously started to ride his fingers, chasing after your long awaited release. It wouldn't last too much, taking in consideration that you haven't orgasmed in so long. Your left hand was on San's nape, anchoring you to some sort of reality that he was indeed there, and the other one was on his chest. It wasn't much longer until your body conjured the estranged feeling in your tummy, you were close. San seemed to read your thoughts once again as his movements came to a halt, you offered a frustrated whimper in return. He lifted you up of his lap and placed you on your back next to him. He helped you get rid of your jeans and then your panties.

"I know you want to cum, but I want you to do it in my mouth." his face in between your thighs, breath fanning over your aching core. This time he didn't wait for a verbal response anymore, and you were glad he didn't. His warm tongue licked a long swipe starting from your hole to your clit, his mouth latched to it with sensual movements, sucking and licking at it, taking all the time in the world.

"Ho...ly fu-fuck," you gasped as you threw your head back into the cushion of the couch, arching your back under his ministrations.

His tongue was skilled, and so were his fingers when they slid inside you for the second time tonight. He curled them up, hitting your g-spot every time he pumped them in. Your body shuddered hardly at the sensation.

"Feel good?" he asked looking up at you, for the first time since he positioned you like this, you looked down at him. And what a sight for sore eyes, so lewd that if you looked at it for long enough you would cum without him needing to do anything to you anymore.

"So good," you reply and place one of your hands into his raven hair when he continues abusing your sensitive bud in the best way you could think of, he continues his movements with his tongue and his fingers, and it's only a matter of seconds until it builds up. You pull at his hair as he deepens his head in between the thighs that are now clenched around his head and it finally all becomes too much for you.

"Fuck....San....ahh," you cry out whilst shutting your eyes tightly, thing that makes you see stars in the back of your head.

You feel proud for satisfying his wish. San seems too feel so as well. You come undone on his fingers, and he pulls them out quickly to attend your releasing wetness with his inpatient tongue, you feel as if you could pass out from the soft stimulation. Such a long time since you've had an orgasm and this might have been the best way to have one.

"Fuck, you taste so good," he says as he slowly rises and takes his place above you, letting you have a taste yourself as he kisses you, swirling his wet muscle in every corner of your mouth, making sure none of it is getting left untouched by him. You sure do taste better on his tongue. Feeling his hard dick press on the inside of your thigh, in all its dizziness, your brain only wants more.

"Can we go to the bedroom?" you ask nicely, only to be met once more with San's surprised face. Like the thought that you still might want more never crossed his mind. He helps you up by the waist and lets you guide the way to the room. As you enter the it you quickly run to the bed, throwing yourself on it as you giggle like you're high, and you might as well be. High hormones had the same effect as weed for you. San only shakes his head with a smile on his face, while looking down and getting his belt off. Shit, this is really happening. Really finally happening. He slowly approaches the bed, ridding himself of his pants as he reaches the edge of it. Your friend pulls down his boxers as well, and you watch closely as his erect member is finally out of its entrapment, it springs up vividly, slapping against his torso. You're left in surprise at the sight of his girthy, definitely above average long, cock. You bite your lip involuntarily and he laughs to your reaction.

"You don't need to," you quickly blurt out as soon as you see him pulling a condom from his wallet. "I mean...I'm clean, if so are you then..." well it's safe to say you've became quite a desperate little thing during your two, deprived of sex, years. "then, we don't need to worry." you finish your sentence.

"You sure?" he asks for confirmation once again.

"Yeah, 'm sure." you respond and beckon him with your index finger. He muffles out a swear word you don't quite register as he drops the condom from his hold, quickly climbing on the bed. He crafts a better position above you, kissing you gently as he lines up his tip with your entrance. You whine in anticipation, lips still attached to his own, softer ones. He slowly pushes himself inside, taking lots of time to make sure your tightness grows comfortable around him. It hurts. Not only it is the first time with San, it felt like the first time altogether. At first, it seemed like your damn hymen grew back. Ironic, considering the amount of sex you used to have. You frowned as you whimpered softly into his mouth. He quickly broke the kiss, watching you with a slightly panicked look on his face.

"Hey, you all right?" he brushed the hair out of your face with his right hand, holding his weight on his left arm. You slowly started to get used to him, your whole body relaxing noticeably when seeing his face.

"Yeah, you can move." you stated with a voice glazed with desire. He did as asked, moving his hips in slow strokes, every time trying to deepen himself more inside you. He groaned each time his dick reached a new part of you.

"Fucking hell, how are you so fucking tight?" he lets out in a tone that almost seems annoyed with the state of your pussy.

"You...are the first...since then." you speak in between craving moans. He shudders at your words, stopping for a second, as he buries his forehead in the crook of your neck.

"Well, damn, princess. Should've let me stretch you out sooner." he whispers into your ear. And that is by far the most obscene thing that has left his lips tonight. He started moving again, this time picking a pace that had you crying out for his name. You couldn't think of much else when San was fucking you, his cock kindly brushing over a certain sweet spot every time it reached its depth. His dick and your pleasure occupied most of the place inside you and your mind, respectively. But at one point, you did try to recall how exactly you ended up right there. Somewhere along the way of finding the answer, you realized it didn't matter how, it mattered that it did. And the strokes that San was driving into you only made you thank the universe that it happened. Following after his release, he increased his speed. His voice was starting to get raspy after groaning and moaning, as did yours, both of your throats dry now.

"I...I think I'm gonna cum..." he whispered in your ear, and you immediately understood the question hiding behind his words. Your mind was in a state of debate for a few too many seconds. In or out? The only person that ever came in was him. In or out? But you wanted San to cum inside you so badly. In or out? That wouldn't be fair. In or out? But why wouldn't it be?

"Inside." you determinately say. His movements begin to grow messy, losing rhythm. He immerses into you deep, almost knocking you out with the way his cock is so richly stuffed inside you, and he let's out an angelic cry as he fills you up with white ropes of his hot seed. With his forehead glued to your shoulder, San pauses to catch his breath for a few seconds, before pulling his body up to get better vision of you. He cups your cheek and kisses you softly once again, pulling himself apart from you quicker than expected.

"You're so beautiful," he brushes his thumb over your lips. "I could look at you for all eternity." your heart thumps heavily when hearing his words. It made no sense for you how someone who looked like him, could tell you that you're beautiful. It seemed so far away from your reality, but still, you were thankful. At a loss for words, and only giving a shy smile in return, San mirrors it as he ascends and then throws himself in the empty space next to you. The only thing that is heard the next few minutes is both of your breaths as your chests heave. You nuzzle up into San's side, he embraces you with his arm as you grab him by the waist, laying your head on his chest. He kisses you on the crown of your head as he starts humming a melody that you don't think you've heard yet. Nonetheless, sleep gets a hold of your tired body and mind quickly, and you don't know if it's the alcohol that creates an illusion, or if it's just San's presence, but throughout your dreams you feel as if you are guarded by an angel.

Easily the best sleep you've had in a while. You are reminded of how easy it is to fall asleep on someone else's shoulder, just as you wake up.

*****

Before you met him you always thought you were better at spending time alone than you were at spending time with others. Now your thoughts had changed about the matter. It was like you were made only for being in Hongjoong's company, and when you were, you felt at peace. Like nothing could affect you ever again. The moments after sex were the ones you loved most, it almost felt like after your bodies were joint, your souls were getting combined as well, while laying on one another. He had his warm hand draped against your waist, playfully tracing circles on your soft skin, humming whatever song came to his mind. Your hand was on his bare chest and your head in the crook of his armpit. If you would be stuck in a time loop made only of this moment, you would never get sick of it.

The heat his body was emanating seemed to strangely warm you up from inside out, and the smell that was around the two of you was making your mind dizzy and your lungs crave for more. Feeling his chest rise as he inhaled and exhaled made you realize that your breaths were in sync, and hearing his heartbeat, you were sure they were too, in sync with yours. For you, loving Hongjoong was such a natural thing to do, like you two were extensions of each other and worked at full capacity only when together. His fingers slowly took a hold of your hand which he brought to his lips, he kissed it and then squeezed it tightly. You looked up into his eyes. His beautiful eyes sprinkled with love and adoration as he watched you.

"I think that every day I spend with you, I find a new meaning to love." he brushes your cheek gently and you stay silent, your mind in a stage of awe at how greatly he sums up the things you feel, without even talking to each other. You smile as you kiss him again and again and again.

"Then let's find a new meaning to love together for the rest of our lives," still standing close to his face, you see him smile and you do as well. You knew that even in the darkest of days, his smile would always lighten up your whole world. He pecks your lips again and suddenly tries to get up from the bed, the coldness you feel not only in your body, but your heart as well, wraps around your mind and you quickly grab his hand. He stops and kneels on the bed, looking at your uncovered body still on display for the flame that takes ahold in his enchanting eyes.

"We'll be late..." he says as he gets closer to you. That wouldn't be a problem, you think. The author should be allowed to be late to their own book release, right?

"Ten more minutes," you plead as you pull him towards you. He smirks and let's you take control of both his mind and body, as he lays on top of you, filling you up with the heat emanating from his body once again. After all, ten minutes wasn't that much, right?

*****

There it was. The selfishness that has made you lose him. The selfishness that brought you here with San. Everything was your fault. You lost so much of yourself the day you lost Hongjoong, but you were sure your last bit of humanity was completely lost the day you let Choi San believe that you could love him the same way he did. How could you be so reckless? You couldn't even blame the alcohol anymore, only your fucking stupidity. You used the only friend left that you cared about, as a rebound. And he doesn't even know. You looked up at the man who was holding you tight against his chest, as if not to lose you. He was still asleep. His natural unflawed beauty made your heart exclaim in agony as you traced his features with your gaze. As thoughts were overwhelming your mind, you placed your head in its initial position. Your eyes were starting to sting when tears started to form up.

You were the worst there was, weren't you? You killed your boyfriend and you deceived your friend into being your distraction, from all the pain and guilt, in more than one way. You didn't recognize yourself anymore, not after so much time of ignoring all your thoughts and suppressing all your feelings thinking it would get better. It didn't get better, the opposite actually, seeing where you stand right now. It was all because of you, and your selfishness, and it could've all be avoided if you didn't wish for fucking ten more minutes.

You started quivering and sobbing.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" San confusedly asks. This should be a sight to see as soon as you open your eyes. The girl you were balls deep in the night before, crying in front of you the morning after. Comforting you came natural to him, like he has been doing it for all his life. And you realized he did do it, not for all his life, sure, but since it happened. He has done his best to comfort you in every way he could. And he always succeeded. And this is how you repaid him. How could you be such a fucking asshole?

"San you need to...you have to leave...I'm sorry." you say through sniffles as it gets harder and harder for you to control the tears pouring down your face. You cannot look him in the eyes but you do get a peek at his grave look, how he looks down, unsure of what to do.

"Did I do something?" he quietly asks with a certain thread of fear in his voice, as if he was terrified of what his question might cause. You wish you could tell him that at the same time he didn't do anything, he also did too much. His kindness and love were too overwhelming for you in the state you were in.t. No matter how much he tried, his love couldn't repair you. You were the only one who could do that, but for what felt like the longest time, you didn't want to do it. Maybe it was time to try now.

"God, no..." you barely manage to blurt out. Speaking seems like the most tiring thing to do right now. "I just have to be alone right now." trying to stop your tears briefly, you look him in the eyes as he retracts his hands off of you. And you can't help but feeling it again, even if you know that it's not the case. Abandoned. Once again, and like the first time, it was all because of you. He got up from the bed, quickly dressing himself in the heavy silence that was surrounding both of you. You slowly hugged your knees to your chest, slightly burying your head in the space that you created. Maybe it wasn't for the best to be left alone but you were afraid of what might happen if you weren't. You saw San walk to your front door, put on his shoes and look at you for a last time. You looked up at him with teary eyes.

"Y/N, I..." love you. He didn't need to enunciate it, you could already see it on his face, how much it hurt him to leave you in this mess, all alone. Whatever you felt for him was so hard to decipher in the amalgam of things that were dwelling inside of you. And it was even harder to accept that you did have certain feelings for him, stronger that you would've liked. He sighed and slowly shook his head, looking down. You saw him leave and then you didn't see much anymore. As bitter tears that flooded your eyes slowly slid into your mouth. Painful screams were tumbling out of your chest giving you no chance to control them. As you get up off the bed you start grabbing whatever comes first and throwing it around. Cradled papers, books off of shelves, tiny decorations on your desk. You reach a framed photo of you and Hongjoong and stop for a second to look at it. Back at the beginning of your relationship when you went to a museum. It started snowing so much that his black coat turned white. You still remembered the cold weather of that period but the warmth of his smile was burning still, even through the damn picture. A few of your tears stained the glass of the photo and after you whimpered in the discomfort you felt around your heart, like someone was squeezing it in their fist, you threw it on the wall across from you. Did you really have to destroy everything nice in your life? As soon as it shattered to pieces you rushed towards it, as if you were not expecting the completely obvious to happen.

"No, no, no..." you whisper to yourself in disbelief. You slowly pick the broken glass in your shaking hands as your crying only gets louder, rivers of tears flowing down your face when your eyes can't seem to look anywhere else but at the old photo.

"I miss you so fucking much..." you whimper in pain, like a dog being beaten.

It's pure torture, you realize, what you're doing to yourself. It takes a lot for your now bloody palms to make contact with your face and wipe your tears, only leaving more of a mess behind. The flesh, now torn from picking up the thin pieces of broken glass, stings when your salty tears slide over the bloody trails and as you rise up with wobbly legs to throw it in the trash, you find yourself looking out the same window you stood with your lover on his last day beside you. Your tears suddenly came to a halt as you looked at the city lights near and far away; your breathing steadied and you remembered.

I want a balcony.

How were you supposed to move on, when you haven't even moved out?

You never felt so nervous for anything in your life before. The microphone was waiting for you on the warmly illuminated stage. You took shy steps towards it as the people started to applaud loudly, you were sure you heard someone whistle from the crowd. As you got in front of the microphone stand you placed one hand on it, dragging it closer. You were not sure how to do this. It should've been your second time, but due to the incidents back then, it was the first time in your life you had to speak at your own book release. Or even attend it. You inhaled deeply and looked through the crowd once more. Your eyes met Seonghwa's as he slightly raised the glass of champagne towards you. The pity he laid upon you with the help of his gaze a while back had turned into pride. You couldn't help but remember the surprise on his face when you went not to his office, but his house, at two in the morning, when you finally finished writing.

You spent the night together, he began reading and you fell in and out of sleep on his couch. When you woke up, he made breakfast for you and he told you how great it was, with the little eternal side notes from his side. He was proud.

"I have no idea what I should say," you offer a strong beginning, everyone starting to chuckle at your awkward comment. "I've been through hell and back writing this book. Two years and a half ago I lost the love of my life in a car accident, and for a long time I thought I lost everything." the room became suddenly tense as you spoke the words.

"But this should be a reminder that some doors aren't closed. We just think that they are." you finish off raising your glass and looking at a familiar pair of eyes. Everyone cheers as you get off the stage, and after receiving compliments from your boss, your team and other people as well, you follow the suited silhouette that you've been secretly chasing with your stare all night, outside.

"Hey," you greet as you find San on a bench right next to the venue. His eyes meet yours and for a brief second it's like all the nerves you had on stage came back, but they were doubled this time. It was hard going through everything without San. He tried to contact you, of course, but you weren't giving him much and the only times you saw him were when you ran into each other at work. When you looked at yourself in the mirror you couldn't recognize yourself anymore, but he? He was just the same. Dressed for the occasion, his black hair swiped back neatly and his face...as gorgeous as ever, and the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

"Hey," he greets back as he drags his body on one side of the bench, signaling for you to join him. You sit beside him and look forward, feeling his eyes on your figure. "how have you been?" he asks, his voice glazed in worry. You made him suffer for the last time, you tell yourself. The whole ghosting thing and all the times you avoided him, those summed up the last time you were going to ever hurt him. For now you were working towards slowly healing the wound that has scarred you, which gave you more clarity about a lot of things.

"Better." you answer, looking in his direction. "I finally got it out!" you add smiling, a bittersweet smile that you held inside for a long time, it was for him only.

"I told you." San mimics your smile and looks into the distance.

"You did," moments of silence accompany as you think of the best way to embody your thoughts into words. "I never got to apologize." you start and his head shoots right at you. "I'm sorry. For using you to try and fuck my pain away." finally saying it aloud to him and getting it off your chest make your lungs finally not burn up when you try to inhale.

"I should apologize too," he begins and it's your turn to look at him with confusion.

"A part of me was aware that you were trying to do that and yet I wasn't able to stop myself." he adds. And it's like some part of you already knew, and already forgave him for it and that was because you knew you had way more blame than him, but you learned to come to terms with it, like you did with many things in your life. Learning to forgive yourself wasn't an easy process, but with the help of a good therapist, you slowly learned how to do it. You were at peace with a few of the things that kept you awake during the night. Slowly getting better.

"I'm sorry." he says and you're sure that more honest words had never left his mouth.

You take his hand into yours and place it on your lap. For the first time since you know him, his hands are cold. You use your other palm as a blanket and cover his hand from the cold winter breeze outside. He nurtured for you enough, it was finally time that you were ready to return the favor.

"I read the book," he says, looking at your hands holding each other.

"Lots of them are inspired from your stories," you refer to the poems, thinking of how many more were written with your mind only thinking about him that didn't even make the cut into the book. "and lots of them are inspired from you." You look into his eyes as he squeezes your hand gently. Maybe you didn't yet know what you wanted. But you knew what you didn't want. And you didn't want to lose San. Not again. Not ever.

"Can I take you out on Thursday?" he asks as his gaze stills down on your warm face. If he asked you this on a bad day, you still weren't sure what your answer would be, but today was a good day. You never got to say goodbye to Hongjoong, but that didn't mean you couldn't say hello to anyone ever again. "You know, in case you need more inspiration for your next masterpiece." he adds and you laugh shortly while nodding quickly. You spend a few more minutes in silence, enduring the cold air, silently revealing to each other the most vulnerable parts of you. You look down at your joined hands and then into his eyes. You smile, partly because you do feel happy, and the rest because you know he'll do the same, and hell, you fucking missed that dimpled smile of his.

The man doesn't say anything when you lean your head on his shoulder, but you are almost sure you can hear his heart beating faster. "I missed you so much." you finally say, letting your feelings pour out in front of San for the first time, leaving you vulnerable in a way no one has seen you since then.

And for the first time, while looking at the bright clear sky above you, you think for yourself that...He would be so proud.

#ateez smut #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez san #choi san #san smut #choi san fanfic #choi san smut #hongjoong fanfic #kpopsmut #xenizaation

[siesporamor]

Me during the Lutteo scene: uhm... chile, anyway, so.

#luna valente #matteo balsano #soy luna

[faerieismm]

HI :} today i have for youuuu🥁🥁🥁 a make out with levi oneshot >:)) didn’t see alot of these so i decided that meant i must make my own(☝︎ ՞ਊ ՞)☝︎chile anygays, ENJOY

“practice”

tw: none

genre: fluff ish? lil spice

the play. lucifer made it out as the most important thing in the devildom right now. much to everyones (but especially satan’s) annoyance, but the demons seemed to do their best anyway.

the roles were divided and you and levi starred as the main characters, with you playing the part of henry.

practice had been going on for about two weeks now, and to say things were not going smoothly was an understatement…

mammon constantly forgot his lines, lucifer and satan got mad at each little thing, belphie slept through almost every practice and levi was so nervous he couldn’t get a single sentence out.

the fact the whole thing was run by simeon was not making it any better either, as his constant criticism was getting to everyones heads, including yours ofcourse.

when you finally had a day off, you were still practicing for the play, and even tho you were getting used to it, it wasn’t that fun at all. you valued your free time, often being spend with levi.

you loved those days. trying ridiculous games, reading manga or watching new anime. sometimes you would craft random things together too, or go out for boba on the rare occasion.

as you were thinking about it, you decided to put your script aside and make your way over to said demon’s room. you didn’t even have to use the password anymore, your friendship having gone far beyond that.

opening the door, you let out your usual sweet and enthusiastic “hi levi~!” and walking over to the demon who was browsing through his phone a bit. he looked up and smiled. “hello m/c”

you slid down to where he sat, embracing him from behind. “not practicing the script?” you teased.

“no - he sighed - it just makes me so nervous!” you hummed and nodded at that. suddenly an idea plopped into your head.

“we can practice together if you want?”

“oh uhm yeah, that could work..” a blush crept to his face. you nodded, let go of him and got the script off of his desk. plopping down next to him again, you opened the script.

“oh great lord of shadows! i have searched for thee everywhere, my friend, my dear friend.” you both laughed at how dramatic you made it.

levi took a deep breath. “henry my friend, you have made it!” at this the script said hug. at this you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him against you tightly. any opportunity you’d get to touch levi, you’d take.

levi made a little surprised noice, but wrapped his arms around you anyways, leaning into your touch. the hug went on much longer than needed, but neither of you minded.

“this is nice, i wish we could stay like this forever.” at this levi snapped back to reality and started to ramble and stutter about how he was sorry for holding on to you for so long. you reassured him you meant what you said and you didn’t mind at which he only got even more flustered.

you two made it through most of the script, with some struggles and pauses sometimes, but you had made some progress anyway. you hadn’t even come this far with the official practice held by simeon. but you were enjoying yourself and kept on going, not really paying mind to if you were doing the new scenes right or not.

“oh henry! thy are so dear to me, i feel like i can’t put into words what i feel!” you laughed, “nice!” you then read the next line, “me.. me neither my lord!” you glanced at the script again, and your eyes widened. at this levi looked at the script aswell.

passionate kiss.

you looked at eachother with uncertain looks, levi’s face beet-red, his mouth slightly agape. “uh-” “you-” you both said at the same moment. you let out a slight chuckle.

“you first.” you insisted. he tried, but the words would not come out of his mouth. you sat there for awhile as levi tried to put his words together.

“you.. don’t have to do this you know? - he stuttered - i mean, i totally get it. i’m just a yucky otaku! who’d want to kiss me?” he rambled on.

“levi.” you tried to break his rambling, gently grabbing his face. “i do want that.” if his face could get any redder, it would’ve. he swallowed and just stared, waiting for you to make to first move.

you had wanted this for so long, and so had he. always making little butterflies flutter in your stomach. he was the sweetest being you’d ever met and you truly loved him. you were so happy he was your best friend, but also sad because, you wanted to be more. but what if that would ruin everything you had?

maybe this kiss would make you even more sad, getting a taste, but never truly going any further. still, you wanted this, and it would happen eventually anyway, thats what you told yourself.

inching your face closer to his, you pulled his head down, as he was quite a bit taller than you. you softly closed your eyes and whispered, “you sure?” you felt him nod, and as he did, you closed the little space between your mouths, giving him a slow, soft, but passionate kiss.

at first levi was frozen. he had no idea what to do, but then he realized this might be his once in a lifetime shot at kissing you! so he just did what he thought felt right, kissing back.

the kiss lingered on for just a little longer, before you broke it. leviathan was speechless.

“that wasn’t really passionate, was it?” you chuckled, looking at him, before lunging yourself at him again, kissing him with much more passion now, less gentle. it took him a second again, but he went with it.

your lips parted again. “something like that.” it was just a whisper, but he caught it. “yeah.” it was safe to say he couldn’t look you in the eyes for the rest of the evening, unable to stop blushing aswell. his brothers looked at him a bit weird but brushed it off eventually.

the next day you tried to act like you normally would again, but you couldn’t help but blush and stutter and laugh after everything you said. levi tried to talk back and all, but it were mostly stuttered incoherent words, resulting in him texting most things if he really wanted to say something important.

as you walked back home from rad, conversation seemed to be a bit easier, especially when you started about one of his interests.

you held the door open for him, and the two of you made your way downstairs, but were stopped by lucifer.

“you two will be practicing, i take it?” his arms crossed.

the two of you shot eachother a quick look, and both stuttered out a sort of “yes” , speed walking to levi’s room.

“so uhh-” “i guess we-” chuckles. you signaled at the script and looked at leviathan with anticipation. he shyly nodded and you both dumped your bags to the ground. you pointed on the line you started at last time.

“from here?” he nodded at that.

“oh great lord of shadows.. i have searched for thee everywhere, my friend, my dear friend.”

“henry my friend, you have made it..” thats how you slowly made your way through the script again, the moment you were so eager for coming closer and closer.

his heart was beating so fast he’d swear you could hear it.

he stuttered his “oh henry! thy are so dear to me, i feel like i can’t put into words what i feel!” and from that point on, he couldn’t really focus anymore, one line away from the kiss he’d want over and over.

gently, you placed your hands on his neck, and pulled him down to your level.

“aah no, this ain’t right.” you mumbled as you let go of his neck, and harshly yanked his head down by grabbing his tie, lips crashing into his.

he was shocked at this, but also thought it was kinda hot, this was what they always did in those animes too!!

he kissed back eagerly, and made a sad look as you broke it off.

you looked around for the script. “uhh..”

levi was holding it tightly in his hands. you sat down next to him as he was now sitting on the edge of his bathtub/bed.

“levi?” he looked at you slowly. you held out your hand. the dumbass then blushed and grabbed your hand, interlacing his vingers with yours.

you laughed. “oh lord you meant the script didn’t you?” you nodded but squeezed his hand and got closer to him. your beaming smile made not only his heart flutter, but reassured him a bit aswell.

with your other hand, you grabbed the script, but levi didn’t let go.

“once more..” he stuttered, “i think that would be.. good, you know!”

nodding, you moved to put your bum on his lap, half straddling him. this time you went for a very soft kiss, as you didn’t really see this as practice anymore, you were too distracted for that.

leviathan couldn’t believe that actually worked. but he tried to focus on the kiss for now. feeling you sliding off his lap, he quickly put a hand on your back and one holding your leg.

“want another one?” you teased as your lips parted. surprisingly he was the one who pressed his lips to yours now.

needless to say, the practice of the script was left at that, and now it was even harder to talk to levi. that night, the two of you just sat in each other’s presence. levi wasn’t even playing a game. at some point you were both getting tired and you decided to stay the night there.

the play was coming somewhat closer, so you and leviathan decided to practice again soon.

the time between it was rather awkward. you felt so bad, he truly was a great friend, your best friend even, and you felt like you messed it up. maybe he was uncomfortable? no, he wouldn’t have kissed you back then right? but maybe he felt forced to..

you tapped levi’s arm, and signaled him to leave the classroom with you. he didn’t look you in the eyes but nodded nevertheless.

as soon as you were out of the classroom, you let out a “i’m so sorry!” and before leviathan could answer, you rambled on. “i shouldn’t have kissed you, things are so weird now and it’s clear you’re uncomfortable-”

“no!” leviathan screamed, shocked on how hard he said it. “no.. - he repeated - i was fine with it, i’m just nervous because i..”

your face was still full of guilt and worry, and leviathan wanted to make it go away so bad, but he just couldn’t get out the fact he liked you.

“i really don’t mind okay?!” he stuttered. you nodded, but you still did not quite believe him.

you were called back to class shortly after that.

you still sat in class together, and walked back home. but you were silent, and levi didn’t like it.

“i meant what i said okay? - he paused - and i wanna practice again today!” you smiled at that. “okay then.”

and so you did.

the usual “oh great lord of shadows.. i have searched for thee everywhere, my friend, my dear friend.” and “oh henry! thy are so dear to me, i feel like i can’t put into words what i feel!” ‘s were spoken, and neither you nor levi was really focused.

you sighed. “lets just get to the good bit shall we?” levi blushed profusely, but nodded, hearts could almost be seen in his eyes.

and that’s how it started. a few soft kisses led to passionate kisses, and passionate kisses led to a pretty intense make out.

you laid on a pile of pillows and blankets, hands tangled in leviathan’s hair. leviathan was surprisingly on top, each hand on either side of you.

the kiss was a bit sloppy, but oh so sweet. levi seemed to pour all of his feelings into it, as did you.

oh how you longed for this. how he longed for this. feelings always hidden away, scared to make any wrong moves. scared to break this sacred friendship you had.

but now all of that was released. and damn did that feel good.

the kiss got softer again and when you broke, leviathan laid down on you chest, panting.

you gave eachother some time to calm down and steady your breathing.

you looked at him, smiling, looking at him lovingly. he returned the favour, but with alot more blush. you whispered a sweet “i love you so much.” as levi’s eyelids slowly fluttered shut.

“i love you too m/c.”

okay this one turned out quite bad in my opinion but i kinda pushed myself because i promised content hahaha, i hope y’all still enjoy it tho!

yours truly,

#obey me x reader #shall we date leviathan #leviathan x reader #obey me levi #leviathan obey me #leviathan avatar of envy #leviathan x mc #obey me levi x reader

[lqfiles]

heyy uhm thjs is my first time sending these kind of things and i js wanted to say that i really really reallyyyyy love stg, i've been reading it since chapter 10ish? but started following at about 20ish (srry abt that) and ik it doesn't mean much coming from an anonymous person but it makes me very happy (and PROUD) to see how many people are reading it now and how many asks you get :) overall im js immensely proud of you and your work

again ik it does not mean much coming from an anon but still you have no idea how great my days get when i get notis from your acc replying to questions or anons (cause i've figured it usually mean that you'll upload another chapter) ANYWAYS i've been struggling a LOT these few months, and one of the only things I seriously look up to is stg, so again, thank you SO so much :(

you don't even have to reply to this or anything (bc tbh i wouldn't know what to say either lol) but i would appreciate it if you could at least read it and know just how much power your ideas and writing actually have <3

also not sure if 50 was the last chapter (?) i was planning on writing smth like this when the smau ended BUT ITS WHATEVER RLLY !! anyways i will never be able to thank u enough for taking your time in this and genuinely putting effort and feelings on it, you are amazing !!

also im from Chile so idk if i made any mistakes while typing this… whatever i'll make sure to support you through each and every work of yours from now on ! take care <333

(god this was a little long IM SORRY again you don't have to reply to this i js hope u read it and know just how capable and dedicated you are and how happy you can make other people iwnsnsks <3)

anon you actually made me tear up wthh :(( LONG ANSWER INCOMING……

i think this is the best thing i could’ve been told and hear, and the fact that it’s anonymous doesn’t change how much your words mean to me trust me. i honestly wasn’t sure how commited i’d be to this smau since i never have managed to finish a slow burn ideas because of the lack of creativity. but i think the fact that you still kept up from such an early chapter (when i remember pointing out that i’m really just writing this without a full plot yet multiple times) is endearing and don’t worry, i don’t take it to heart that you didn’t follow me immediately loll, for all you knew this could’ve been the shittiest piece of writing and then you’d have to just unfollow lmaooo. also i think it’s cute that those who have kept up from early on until now have witnessed with me the growth of this series and the support on it 😭 i remember when 70 notes in day alone excited me and would get giddy by getting a SINGLE ask hsjdjdjd and now i’ve had chapters with 400 notes and get 10+ asks ??? i didn’t even really dwell on it that you guys who have been ogs too have seen the growth too :(( i think it’s quite funny, because last year, i rarely got any asks and barely checked on this account except for posting some drabbles here and there, and didn’t even speak to any mutuals, i remember i told myself i’d keep this a writing blog only without interacting much at all but ever since stg i’m surprised by the amount of mutuals i’ve made and how many people are really perceiving my account AND how interactive i’ve been even tho i’d usually log out immediately after posting something lmaoo! it’s cute and i appreciate you for sticking around and being proud of me !!! it honestly catches me off guard when some of you say that stg is the highlight of your day or how much you love it or how it has inspired you to start writing yourself, because i can’t comprehend myself being influential like that at ALL 😭😭 but at the same time it warms my heart every time because it makes me feel useful…? i like seeing people happy and feel inspired by something i did so seeing people be so happy of a mere chapter really does make me smile :) i’m sorry to hear that life is hard on you, but again it means a lot to me knowing stg DOES affect your day positively (can’t believe we’ll be reaching the end tho..)

this wasn’t the last chapter, i got two more and then some bonus chapters so i hope you’ll enjoy them and my future work as well anon <33 i’ll continue to pour my effort and feelings into my writing love you and thank you for making time to write this !!!

#asks. #from anon #( score that goal! ) #i’ll cherish this message tysm! #also i think it’s funny how you’ve picked up on the #‘when lqfiles answers asks a new chapter is coming’ LMAOOO i was wondering if anyone else noticed that

[sm-baby]

Truancy

CHILE ANYWAY,

the thing the fic is based on: (x)

word count: 3,520 words 18,776 characters

bestie I worked on this for like a day, and I'm tired. I really just looked at this, decided "good enough" and thought to post it. due to that, the pacing is bound to be shit so expect not good pacing and be short UwU

bye bye I'm gone now wooo~!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was later in the afternoon, big dark clouds started forming in the sky, and rain threatened to pour. It was gray that day, and lightning started to approach. It was a windy afternoon. Not that the Waters noticed, as they stayed couped up in one of the small yet fancy houses the school provided them for free. 

Believe it or not, it was considered a "poor" living space even when the building itself was white and polished. It was ridiculous. This would cost a fortune in their home country.

The house atmosphere itself was silent. Usually, it would be filled with the audible stimming from the little Marcus, Television, or music they'd decided they wanted to play.

But not that day. That day the Waters house was silent and almost lonely. The two members of the family barely had it in themselves to interact. Marcus hadn't left his room, and Angus waited in the living room. 

Ring! Ring!

And there goes the sound of the telephone, which, Angus, The patriarch of the house, picked up expectedly. 

     He greeted. " Hello! Waters residence!" 

     " Hello, Darling. Uhm… Marcus hasn't been in class today, and I'm calling in to ask how he is." 

He froze at the sound of the familiar voice of a woman the man didn't expect to hear. 

" I usually leave this to the teachers, but.. this time it's… personal. He hasn't greeted me at the gates for the first time in months." She said. 

The man bit his lip. 

"Is he okay? "

Cast covering his wrist and a bandage on his shoulder, Angus couldn't get himself to say anything to the woman on the phone. 

He had anticipated someone from the school to call, and he was fully prepared to take any call from the telephone so his nephew didn't have to hear anything from it. But perhaps he wasn't as ready as he thought he was. 

Ms. Elaine, the principal of his nephew's school, called in personally in worry about her beloved student. And it made his heart sink. 

Answering her questions wasn't just him making excuses for his nephew. It was also him admitting to himself that he wasn't good enough. He drove his nephew into so much distress that he missed class for it. He hasn't even left his bed unless it was to come help treat his uncle.

The incident last night…  this was not what he wanted for him. He wanted to avoid situations like these at all costs but he failed him. 

He just… hasn't fully processed it until he heard the concern in her voice. Only then did he fully feel the weight of the guilt. What his nephew must be going through. Angus was fully content to deal with these situations alone, why did he have to bring him into it?

     " Uh… " he stammered.

The woman on the other side fidgeted with the telephone wire, nervously curling it around her finger waiting for his reply. 

     " Marcus is … not well today. He got sick last night and is currently bedridden."

     The woman's eyes widened, and the conversation went on. She asked questions in great worry, and the man reassured her that he was okay. 

Marcus Waters, The adopted nephew of Angus Waters, could only be found sitting at his desk, burying his head in his books. The pages had drops of water bleeding into it. 

He figured that since he is absent from school that day he might as well be of use and do something. He already felt his potential slip away just by being absent today. And what's worse is that he didn't think he could go tomorrow either.

Cheek on his palm, flipping through the pages, he couldn't focus. All that repeated in his head was the sounds of his uncle in pain yesterday night. 

The anguish, the way he collapsed, not being able to do anything about it… the absolutely life-threatening situation the entire thing was, yet he stood unscathed while his uncle was practically bleeding out in front of him… 

That wasn't fair. Why did he come out so lucky? He didn't deserve to be. Marcus wished he could have taken more of the blow so his uncle wasn't in such distress. The least he could do was pay his uncle back, lifting him of any financial burden or care. 

But staying in his room, not showing his face, making his uncle worry, he felt like he was already failing at that. 

He felt so-- disgusted with himself! He was a fraud! He didn't deserve to be adopted by such a loving man, someone who's willing to take a stab for him! He didn't deserve to be taken in by a good home!

God damn it, Marcus what are you saying!? Focus on the damn book! If uncle saw your grades drop he would be so disappointed, he'd regret ever taking you in! Just prove to him that you were worth all that trouble, you made him sacrifice so much just by existing. The least you could do is have him sacrifice less and less! 

Knock knock knock!

     " Marcus, could you put down the book for a few seconds? You haven't eaten." Angus said with a fake calm tone to his voice. Not that he wasn't calm earlier, rather, he definitely would not have been able to hold a smile as he was now. 

     This took Marcus' attention. His head was still down in his books, almost like he was taking cover. Unable to put his head up, his hands made their way to his temples. " No, I'm fine! I don't want to eat! "

     " Would you like us to order pizza or sushi for lunch? "

     … 

     " Pizza!"

Angus smiled. The illusion of choice, classic gentle parenting technique.

The adopted uncle made his way to the telephone again to make the order. Things like pizza weren't the most nutritious or healthy and he knew it. But it was better than not eating at all. He knew what his nephew liked. It was a food item that Marcus would absolutely stuff himself with until he was full. 

Come two days later, Marcus was already back in school. He came in later than he usually would, and he was greeted by the tall giant at the front. 

Ms. Elaine, the accepted maternal figure of the boy, sat at a chair with her feet fidgeting. She looked forward to seeing him after his guardian told her he was able to make it that day. As soon as he walked in, she was already crouching down to hold his face and whisper to him how much she worried and missed him. This was the distress of a mother not hearing from her child in oh so long… 

Marcus couldn't reply much, but for the first time in a while, a smile appeared on his face. He couldn't help but hug his maternal figure back. She always made him feel so cared for.

     " Marcus, are you okay?" Asked the voice of a boy sitting with him at lunch. 

Big, tall, and red, Leonardo Birch turned to him in worry at his drastic change of attitude. 

It was noticeable how absent Marcus was for two days, it was even more noticeable how quiet he was when he came back. The more-- class clown attitude the boy had was now replaced with him being quiet and keeping to himself. 

    " You're not even looking up at me, buddy. I'm worried..." The older boy said. 

Who was he kidding though? This was Leonardo Birch, his second favorite in this goddamn school. He can't stay upset with him around. The senior allowed him to talk about his interests, he made him feel heard with the littlest thing. 

Marcus looked up at him and sighed. He leaned his head on his shoulder not long after, to which Leonardo replied by pulling him close and rubbing circles on his back. 

Someone listened to what he had to say that day… and Leonardo still remained a good friend to him.

Marcus came home with a better attitude than when he left. It didn't take him long to act like his old self, but it took a while to fully recover from what happened. Angus made sure to spend time with him during that time, Leonardo invited him to lunch to talk to him, and Ms. Elaine, the principal, made sure to excuse him from certain misbehaviour. Be it missed assignments or being late. 

They were too good to him. He wished he could let them know how much he appreciated their help.

Come a month or two later, a short while after his uncle's wounds have fully healed, by the time Marcus comes home, Angus isn't there to greet him like he used to. Rather, it would be late in the day until he's back to make dinner. 

The first few times Angus came home late, he would wake up the next day with bad body cramps. But since then, Marcus noticed that his mood has been lifted. 

He cleaned his room much more frequently and he woke up at earlier hours. He also took showers almost every day! What's this?? Marcus isn't used to a non-greasy uncle! 

When Marcus would ask about it, Angus replied vaguely. The boy would laugh it off, as the man seemed happy, and he dared not pry. 

    " Guard up, chin down. Hands in front… " Angus whispered to himself. his legs were taking a wide stance, as he walked around, forwards, and back the punching bag. 

He was at a gym that afternoon, farther into the city. Other visitors were there as well though he didn't make much effort to socialize. Some were friendly to him as he was a newcomer and spoke to him with solidarity. Some made him want to leave all together. 

White ribbons managed the building, and he still wasn't used to how fancy everything was. Although the coven was filled with their servants, he didn't go out enough to fully take in what it was like.

He was already quite sweaty after exercise earlier that day, his hair stuck to his skin before he tied it up. His shirt was wet, sweat dried off from him taking a break between sessions. 

He threw punches at the bag before returning his fist to cover his face. He moved around it as his punches had it swing back at him, taking the opportunity to hit multiple points of the bag. He was light on his feet, and he took small victories the more the bag was worn out. 

He was slightly irresponsible with how he practiced. He clenched his fist a little too tight to the point of cramp. He hadn't noticed it at first, as his imagination took hold of him while he did his work.

The incident. That night where he was stabbed and injured. Now he likes to imagine it going a completely different way. 

He was impulsive that night. Now that he had been learning more about self-defense, he could remember all the things he did wrong. It was a miracle he made it out with just his adrenaline.

Bam, Bam!

He wished he could turn back time and change the outcome of that night. How he'd beat the ever fucking hell of that pretentious man.

Bam bam! 

And although he didn't know how, perhaps get that knife from him and stab him dead. 

Boom! 

Leave with his nephew and have him bleed to death. 

Pow! Bam! bam! 

Angus would usually watch himself for having these sorts of violent thoughts, 

Pom! Boom, pow! 

but his anger fueled his adrenaline at that moment, and so he decided to indulge. 

Bam! 

A punch to the gut.

Bam bam! 

So hard that insides spill out.

Bam! 

Who cares how much blood gets on your clothes? 

Bam bam! 

This isn't the first time you had to clean it off. 

Bam! Bam! Bam! 

You leave. 

My Nephew. 

Out. 

Of. 

Your. 

Shit. 

Angus' body grew warmer and warmer. Anger filled his throat and his eyes did not do his thoughts justice. 

He would do anything to insure that Marcus felt safe again. He would do anything to not see him cry again. 

He will defend himself. And he will prove himself worthy to be scared of. 

The first thing he heard when he came back to reality was his panting. The sweat from his arms and hair rolled off his face and body. 

Seeing the punching bag worn out in front of him made him a little proud of himself. He gave it a little pat, and it bounced back at his face. Owie.

He should keep those thoughts in check though… he doesn't think Marcus could ever feel safe if he stabbed someone to death. That would just make him scared of him. 

     "Wooh! Good job, big man!" A friendly voice from the gym cheered for him. 

     " Ah! Th- thank you, mate!" He waved before going about his business. These people were much more-- welcoming than he thought they were gonna be. Ofcourse, he faced his fatphobia, but when there are good ones, there are good ones. The shaming for his body type was one of the many things that kept him from working out, but there were surprisingly welcoming members there.

He huffed. Oh, his water tumbler and towel were nowhere near him…  did he put them somewhere and forgot? 

He searched his surroundings and wiped the sweat off his arms. Oh boy, even his hands felt dirty. He needs to use the showers. 

     " Hello, "big man"!" hummed a voice behind him. " I believe this belongs to you?" A gloved hand reached out with his two missing belongings. Particularly a hand from high up, with sleeves covered in white. 

     " Oh thank yoo-ooOUUU OH MYYYYYY GOD-" he flinched and felt himself jump back at the tall figure in front of him! 

Ms. Elaine, the owner of his nephew's ridiculously expensive school! He met her. Out of the building. This is we i rd. This feels similar to when he saw his teachers out of campus as a youngin, it's barely any different as an adult! You know-- apart from the fact that… said people are his equals now…

He nervously laughed as he took his items from her. 

     She only giggled and gave him her usual amused smile. 

God, he felt like a puppy compared to her…Not just by height but also by status and --the way he spoke to her In a way? Not that he minded. She still sounded very kind. 

     " Oh funny as always, Mr. Waters!" 

Aand the body weight insecurities came back! Yup! his face was covered by his arms out of complete and utter embarrassment. Oh god, he looked a mess and he reeked more than usual. He didn't expect to see Ms. Elaine that day! 

She had her hands on her back, and had on a beautiful white dress fitting for outing occasions! Is she here to work out?? Oh of course she looks beautiful even when she's exercising! What a fool you are not to think that, Angus Waters!! He was so gross compared to her it was ridiculous!

     " …Hi!"

     " Hello~!"

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP " W-what brings you here?" He facepalmed. " Oh my g-god, you're here to exercise! Of course, you're here to exercise! I'm sorry, I swear I'm usually not this stupid. "

She clicked her teeth and shook her head as if telling him that he was wrong. " No, I just saw a strong little man from the window and wanted to see him. "

     " Oh, where is he? " Angus said, practically wiping his entire face with the towel.

     The madame let out an amused exhale as a confused look took her face. Oh my goodness, how could someone be this dense? " Uh-" she sighed laughing, " Mr. Waters… "

The two carried on with the conversation, the madame walking with him to the chairs on the side of the gym. Ofcourse, as always, she walked gracefully while he was practically a wreck. 

Oh to be seen with such a beautiful elegant woman. He could feel some visitors stare timidly at her while the servants barely batted an eye. Rather, they treated her formally and neatly. It is quite strange, he's met multiple other nobles here before and the servants treated them like any other guest. How was Ms. Elaine any different? Was the school that popular?

     " I didn't know you were spending your time "hitting the gyms" And "Working your guns"  as you fellas say! "

     " Um… no. I just started…" He'll admit that that was a strange way to say someone works out. The woman seemed out of touch with slang. Still, he laughed it off. "I just wanted to learn more about self-defense-- I figured I can take proper classes on it once I'm a little more flexible.. "

     " Self-defense?" The woman frowned and crossed her arms at him. " Tell me, Is it because of the incident a few months ago? "

     Angus paused, and slowly looked up at her. That isn't what he told her what happened " … How did you… did Marcus tell you? "

     " He did. I don't appreciate you lying to me, Mr. Waters. "

     " I'm sorry, it was just a touchy subject. " He frowned and looked away. He felt his heart sink at that. The last thing he wanted was for someone else to be disappointed in him. 

     She sighed and corrected herself. " No, it's alright. '' the tall woman leaned down  and caressed the tip of her fingers on the man's cheek.

She later brushed the end of her pointer finger under his chin and gently guided it to have him look up at her. " You risked your life for my Marcus. And I cannot thank you enough." 

Angus froze, visibly flustered at her little touch.

     " That was the bravest thing I've heard someone do in a very long time. " She continued as if she was hushing a small creature. In the most reassuring and comforting voice. " You're a good man, Mr. Waters." She smiled and took her hand back. She looked as if she was talking to another one of her students who earned a gold star. Oh, how proud she looked. 

Although he was completely eating up and adored her reassurance and compliments, he can't help but feel like there was something off with it. There was a part of him that felt like he was sort of talked down to, but-- no matter. He swooned over her words like how any other person would in her presence. Her tone was so kind and gentle, he didn't know where that doubt came from. The blush on his cheeks was pink and shy. 

Ahhh, crikey… female validation… 

     " Say, how did you get in here? Do you have a membership?"

     " Who do you think owns this place?" The woman shrugged and leaned back in her seat, putting one leg over the other. Her eyes looked confident, turning to him as if he should already know the answer. 

     "... You??" He stammered. " I'm sorry, I didn't know! "

     The madame laughed, " I think you'll find that I own more than you think I do, Mr. Waters. " 

and in a deeper voice, she leaned in to whisper to him. " And The man from that night?"

Her smile dropped.  " He will not be bothering you again. " 

     " That one." Said Marcus, pointing at a picture of a white covened citizen " He stabbed my uncle." 

The principal's office was filled with legal documents matching Marcus' description of who assaulted them that night.

His friend Leonardo sat beside him in a chair for moral support. He has spent a few days trying to help him report the person who wronged him. 

Ms. Elaine, the rich woman, who could get away with anything, sat at the opposite side of the table. 

     "Is that so, baby?" The principal tilted her head, speaking in a soft voice. 

The boy had never sounded so sure of himself. He looked angry just looking at the profile. Leonardo rubbed his back to comfort him, but the room was already filled with all kinds of emotions. Even Ms. Elaine wasn't smiling anymore. 

     " Thank you for reporting this to me. Please, you two. Go enjoy your lunch."

With kisses on each of their foreheads, the two boys waved their goodbyes and walked out of the air-conditioned office. 

The woman was left to herself, setting aside all the other suspects. She was alone with the man's legal documents, tapping her finger from the rising anger in her system. 

She wished she could rip the pages apart herself, but she needed the right description to make him a target. 

No one hurts her Marcus like that. 

#Poseidon #Zeus #Angus #Highschool au #ayeee #bleh #i will now starfish in bed #brrr #writing #Truancy

[thecustomcosplayed]

damn spooky donut ghost and i had the same idea

uhh let's go with Chapa from Danger Force?

yeah y'all did have the same idea LMAO anyways Chapa!! my fav from Danger Force 1: hmmm, ace biromantic with a female lean 2: Chamika my beloved 3: Chiles or Bapa, I both see them being platonic 4: Her and the Creston guy cause I'm pretty sure that's a minor x adult which is like a big no 5: uhm uhh suddenly I've forgot all the hcs I've got about her LMAO uhh. OH I like the idea that she's really good at cooking 6: oh my god your making me choose uhhh. "Are you Taylor Swift?" ("Uh, no?!") "Then don't tell me to calm down! 7: hmmmmm. again, mommy issues. different then what she has, obviously, but still. 8: the one scene in the four parter where she talks to her phone LMAO looking back on it wasn't that bad but like. at first I was so embarrassed by it like pls. 9: well she's definitely not a cinnamon roll...

#creature!! hi! #ask game #chapa de silva #not me struggling so much on the quote #she has so many i love them all #lula elena chapa de silva #volt #danger force #dangerverse

[genshinstar]

Gave up on this account but...

Uhm chile-anyways so

Really should have stayed in the drafts

#genshin impact #genshin #mihoyo #new character #natlan #sumeru #genshin leaks

[v-vina]

Being the adopted daughter of Kurapika, I was almost never let outside. There was always school and being a hunter (Mamapika had no idea about this), that whenever coronavirus hit, Kurapika was unstable with the fact that I could die. So he banned me from leaving the house and forced me to do online school like a normal kid. 

But that didn’t stop me from sneaking out with Gon and Killua, two kids who were my age, while Mamapika was doing his revenge work.

But, it just so happens that today, Leorio had came over to watch me and dragged Killua and Gon along. 

And they were going on with the usual, “Gon you made me worried!” and, “But Killua, you can’t just kill someone because you don’t like them.”

I was leaning back on my chair while staring absent mindlessly at the screen. I could barely hear the teacher over the ruckus that they were making, and I forgot that this was the class that the teacher always forced us to turn our mic on. 

I tried to remain obscure about it. Maybe she wouldn’t notice that it was turned off?

“Y/n. Y/n! Y/N!” 

I look up in surprise at the computer staring wide eyed at the screen.

“Y/n, turn on the mic.” I shake my head and glance over at Killua and Gon. They are still in a deep fight that has now broke into them singing a random song off the internet. “Turn on the mic!” My teacher demands.

I lower my eyes a little and press the microphone icon. I can vaguely here the echo of Killua and Gon singing. (it's corn kid tiktok song (extended) (Lyrics)YouTube · Aqua Lyrics1 day ago)

“It’s corn!” Killua yelled. “A big lump with knobs!” Gon answered. They continued going back and forth.

“It has the juice.”

“It has the juice!”

“I can’t imagine a more beau-“

Leorio cuts off the background music. “Shut up! I’m coochie man.” he yells. 

A big war is going on in the Zoom chat as people continue to sing the rest of the lyrics while others spammed question marks and laughing emojis.

“Uhm, Y/n-“ the teacher begins, but is cut off by another yell.

“No! We were singing!” Killua yells. 

“Whoa, whoa!! Killua calm down!”

I turn around and glare at Killua. “Dude, I told you! You kill someone else and your money jar will overflow!”

A chocolate robot hits me square in the forehead. The teacher attempts to interrupt again, but I had already stood up, hearing ooohs erupting from my computer speaker. 

Gon runs up to me, “Wait wait calm down! I haven’t seen you this angry since Tonpa tried to poison you at the hunter exams!” Everyone on the computer whispers, “Omg they’re a hunter :0” while others giggle, “Haha it’s a green bean.”

Killua uses his Godspeed to get a chicken and return back, and by the time he was back, the chicken’s still beating heart was already ripped out and handed to Leorio.

“Cook chicken now,” he says in caveman, giving Leorio a stanky eye. 

“Chile, anyways.” 

Mamapika then shows up at the door and rings the doorbell very aggressively with the sound of it being the “Kurapika is now drowning”. 

Leorio opens the door and shoved the chicken into Kurapika’s mouth. He spits it out and yells, “I’m the original Sasuke!” and runs to his room.

“GooOoOooOoNn-“ Hisoka moans from the door.

Illumi appears in the corner. “Killua, come home.”

“Yeah, ok bye.” The teacher kicks me from the zoom.

#hxh x reader #kurapika #Anime #akaku #kurapika is now drowning #zoom meeting