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aethon-recs · 11 months

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Tomarrymort Starter Pack: 10 Recs for Getting Started in Tomarrymort

I've compiled a list of 10 medium to longfic recs that I think represent a great on-ramp to the Tomarrymort ship, as inspired by @sitp-recs’ Drarry for Beginners rec list. These are the fics that I would use to on-board people to the ship — gorgeous writing, superb characterization, and just as enjoyable on the first read as the 20th reread.

As always, I am stunned by the talent in this ship! I tried to pick a good mix of different themes/tropes/settings, with a focus on elements that make for a good introductory work: the characters are recognizable; the setting skews more recognizable; both characters in the ship are a meaningful part of the story; the ship is central to the story; and the fics are for the most part complete (or updated within the last year).

(Standard rec list disclaimers apply: please mind all tags and warnings on AO3 before reading; this blog abides by the age-old fandom axiom of don’t like; don’t read; recs are in alphabetical order by title.)

This is Part 1 of a 3-part series — I also have an Intermediate reading list and Advanced reading list coming up for readers who have been with the ship for a longer time.

For now, please enjoy these 1.3 million words of absolutely brilliant Tomarrymort reads that I hope will keep you hooked until the very last word:

Tomarrymort Starter Pack Recs

A Dangerous Game by @cybrid (E, 284k, WIP)

Setting: Canon Divergence – Book 5 Premise: If Tom’s diary horcrux gains a body at the end of Harry’s 5th year (instead of his 2nd), and then promptly kidnaps Harry and holds him captive over the summer. Lots of smut ensues. Why I rec it: The characterization is truly stunning — Tom Riddle is undoubtedly a psychopath — manipulative, thrill-seeking, kind of an irredeemable shithead — but he’s also dazzlingly charming when he chooses to be, someone whose presence Harry quickly grows addicted to. Their relationship can get incredibly toxic and fucked-up at times, but Harry has top-notch instincts and can hold his own against Tom. The plot is absolutely gripping, with the threat of (the main) Voldemort, who has set his sights on reclaiming his wayward horcrux, looming in the background.

A Future Without a Face by @dividawrites (E, 115k, complete)

Setting: Time-Travel (1940s) Premise: If Harry travels back in time to Tom’s 5th year at Hogwarts, and Tom becomes obsessed with the new transfer student and wants nothing more than to possess him every way. Why I rec it: A 1940s time travel fic told entirely from Tom Riddle POV! Divida absolutely nails psychopath Tom — how he quickly gets singlemindedly focused on Harry, how the idea of possessing Harry consumes him, how he has no compunctions about doing completely fucked-up and destructive things to achieve his goals. There is so much tension between them from the start, so there’s not much of a wait to see some hot Harry & Tom action — and the conflict and tension only continues to build and build in dramatic fashion throughout the rest of the fic.

Either must die at the hand of the other by @metalomagnetic (E, 260k, complete)

Setting: Post-Canon Premise: If Voldemort survives the Battle of Hogwarts and is initially kept prisoner in Azkaban, until Harry takes him into Grimmauld Place under house arrest. Why I rec it: This fic is an incredible exploration of Voldemort at his most terrifying. Even if he starts off the fic with his magic temporarily blocked, he is no less powerful without his magic. The force of his personality is powerful enough for him to chip away at Harry’s initial resistance — @metalomagnetic manages to write one of the most charismatic, brilliantly manipulative, and psychologically devastating versions of Voldemort I’ve ever read. Harry ends up in a good place by the end of the fic, but the journey to get there is a roller-coaster of emotions that have permanently imprinted onto my soul.

In Somno Veritas by ladyoflilacs and @lordansketil (M, 158k, complete)

Setting: Canon Divergence – Book 6 Premise: If Harry starts appearing in Voldemort’s nightly dreams during Book 6, and Voldemort becomes obsessed with Harry after realizing he’s his horcrux. Why I rec it: This is one of the most unique fics I’ve ever read in this ship! Every scene is told in alternating POV between Harry’s POV and Voldemort’s POV, so you get to see how every scene unfolds from both of their perspectives. Voldemort is so intense and just as terrible as he is in canon, so his character is not at all sugarcoated, and Harry has so much compassion and heart and manages to fall in love with Voldemort anyway. The writing style is gorgeous, with richly detailed and emotionally-laden prose. Also, one thing that pleasantly surprised me is how funny their banter is! There were definitely a number of times where I laughed out loud in the middle of an otherwise really intense scene. Bonus content: also comes with a lovely sequel that made me melt.

Inevitabilities by @shadow-of-the-eclipse (T, 103k, complete)

Setting: Same-Age AU Premise: If Harry and Tom attend Hogwarts together and go traveling around the world after they graduate. A betrayal leads to their break-up, but after many years, Harry returns to find Tom in Britain, and the two of them are drawn back together again. Why I rec it: An excellent same-age AU with unhinged dark Harry and just-as-unhinged Tom. Their relationship starts out quite dark and twisted and unhealthy — and only devolves from there. The fic ends with the two of them as equals — utterly devoted to each other — but in an incredibly fucked-up way: “He loves Tom like a forest fire; wild and all-consuming, he wants to devour Tom, to claim him, to mark him, break him.” Isn’t that absolutely breathtaking?

love is touching souls (surely you touched mine) by @toast-ranger-to-a-stranger (M, 34k, complete)

Setting: Time-Travel (1940s) Premise: If Harry gets thrown back into the mid-1940s and meets Tom Riddle as a young man just graduated from Hogwarts working at Borgin and Burkes. Why I rec it: When Harry accidentally travels back in time and chances upon Tom Riddle as a fresh graduate, he realizes this is his chance to make a difference. While Harry is only in the past for a brief interlude, he leaves enough of an impression to change the trajectory of Tom’s life. The dynamic between Harry and Tom is rife with tension and witty dialogue, and the story is set during Christmastime, which lends a very festive and heartwarming atmosphere for falling in love with each other.

No Glory by @obsidianpen (E, 254k, WIP)

Setting: Voldemort Wins AU Premise: If Voldemort figures out Harry is his horcrux when Harry surrenders in the Forbidden Forest, and decides to keep Harry instead of killing him. Why I rec it: This fic showcases the absolute, terrifying genius side of Voldemort, in a universe where he wins the war and captures Harry at the end of book 7. I am stunned at how skillfully @obsidianpen portrays Voldemort as a brilliant political strategist — the courtroom scene where he manipulates the story and the audience so well stands out as a top 10 fanfic moment in my mind. Harry and Voldemort’s relationship is chilling from the very start, and grows even more unhealthy as Voldemort gets addicted to Harry’s touch due to the presence of the horcrux, but Harry later learns to turn that to his advantage.

The Fire, Burning by @parsimmony (E, 35k, complete)

Setting: Canon Divergence – Book 6 Premise: If Voldemort discovers Harry is his horcrux after Book 6, and kidnaps him to keep him captive by his side in his bed, inside of a lovely greenhouse setting full of friendly snakes on the grounds of Malfoy Manor. Why I rec it: The prose!! I am swooning over the prose! Harry is Voldemort’s captive in this fic, but he is so much more than that — and the emotions that gradually blossom between them have so much richness and depth and are utterly moving that I’m still drowning in the depths of intimacy that were portrayed. Their relationship unfolds in such a gorgeous and unrushed way, and the setting is so unique too — a lush and overgrown greenhouse that’s exploding with exotic plants and friendly snakes around every corner that imbues the fic with a very romantic, dreamy quality.

the pleasure, the privilege by @being-luminous (M, 20k, complete)

Setting: Canon Divergence – Book 6 Premise: If Voldemort is doused with Amortentia keyed to Harry, and starts sending Harry bizarre and gruesome courting gifts, like the bodies of the Dursleys. Why I rec it: Breathtaking prose! Voldemort somehow ends up more terrifying when he’s trying to woo Harry than when he’s trying to kill him. Every single sentence had me on the edge of my seat, as Voldemort’s ‘gifts’ become more elaborate and devastatingly dramatic, until Harry basically has no choice but to respond to his overtures. The ending is incredibly clever in how it parallels certain plot elements of book 6, with an added Harrymort twist.

The Untouchable by @treacleteacups (M, 75k, complete)

Setting: Canon Rewrite (Books 1-7) Premise: If Harry starts out his first year a little bit more suspicious and a little less wide-eyed and guileless, and subsequently gets sorted into Slytherin. He has many of the same encounters with Voldemort along the way as he does in canon, but his interactions with Voldemort will end up leading him down quite a different path. Why I rec it: A snappy, fast-paced full canon rewrite that still manages to fit in all the essential Tomarrymort plot points, between Horcruxes and Hallows and the major events of books 1-7, in a compact 75k words that doesn’t at all feel rushed. It’s a delightful journey following Harry’s character evolution from an overlooked, peculiar child who relies on wishy-washy wish magic to a confident (and still endearingly peculiar) young man who can challenge and hold his own against the great Lord Voldemort. Voldemort’s obsession with Harry deepens with every encounter that they have, as he finds ways to continually insinuate himself in Harry’s life and his mind and his dreams.

#Tomarrymort Starter Pack #tomarrymort #tomarry #harrymort #aethon recs #tomarry recs #tomarrymort recs #harrymort recs #hp fic recs #longfic recs #ao3 recs #fanfic recs #2023 reads #2023 recs

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softevnstan · 1 year

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(nsfw) random prompt event generator for bucky!!

Bucky and Y/N going back to one or the other's house after a date, where they eventually end up dry-humping on the couch. Y/N only intends this as foreplay, but Bucky is already getting overwhelmed. Y/N finds this amusing and endearing, leaning close to whisper something teasingly into Bucky's ear. It turns out that Bucky is more excited than Y/N thought, and hits orgasm without any further stimulation, to the surprise of Y/N and the embarrassment of Bucky. What happens next?

pairing. bucky barnes x gender neutral! reader

summary. After a date night out with Bucky as you explore your new relationship, you unintentionally wind up taking your makeout session a little too far. Quickly you learn it's been far too long since Bucky has had a partner.

warnings. SMUT - minors DNI. kissing, praise kink, dirty talk, size difference, beefy bucky, dry humping, masturbation (bucky and you), implied/referenced trauma, reader has v but still gender neutral. p with plot, recovering!bucky barnes (half-way).

a.n. ok, i have other things to write and originally i was gonna let this wait... until i read the prompt again and saw this as an opportunity for some mild bottom/fluffy bucky. (bucky is a bottom you can't change my mind, but i'll write top for you all i promise) starts a little fluffy at first because idk how to not write some sort of context to situations, and bucky is still in recovery reasonably so

w.c. 7.6k howdidthishappen

Your date with Bucky exceeded your expectations. Wary that things would potentially be a little rough around the edges while the soldier was still trying to put himself back together, you were pleasantly surprised when he picked you up at your apartment with a bouquet of flowers - specifically an interesting combination of sunflowers and roses. You couldn’t remember the last time someone had bought you flowers, and after running them inside so as to not ruin them by taking them on the trip, Bucky held your hand all the way to his motorcycle and helped you settle comfortably before embarking on the evening together. No awkward pauses or tense, heavy moments with Bucky; It was sweet and a dream come true that you didn’t even know you’d had.

He’d surprised you on where you both were going initially. Blindly trusting Bucky with wherever he chose your date location, he decided that the Art Museum was the safest choice. Dinners could be awkward - what if you don’t like the way someone chews their food? Movies hardly left time to actually get to know one another, instead just sitting in the dark with occasional spared glances. Anything too physical could be exerting and hinder you from another date with Bucky. So after indecisively pondering, Bucky had chosen that an art exhibit was the best way to go.

You loved it.

So many classic paintings and countless mediums of art filled the halls as you two strode hand in hand. Bucky was on the quieter side, but not enough to deter you. He’d smile and watch the twinkle in your eyes when you both came across a particularly marvelous work of art that you loved. Bucky had listened smittenly as you gushed about the way some pieces of art made you feel or the message you interpreted behind it all. Eventually, Bucky had begun to open up throughout the night to do the same. What felt like hours of enriched conversation and two people simply being in the moment.

Sometimes people don’t need candles and rose petals, sometimes people just need someone to talk to and feel just as down to earth with.

Unfortunately, neither of you had finished going through the whole museum together in one sitting.

Bucky had used that as the opportunity to salvage the situation; “I guess that means we’ll just have to come back together.” He’d said fondly when you both stopped at the mini-cafe built in the museum before you both left.

Instead of letting the date die down when the museum began closing for the night, you offered to bring the party back to your apartment instead. Tempting Bucky with a bottle of wine sitting in your kitchen so you two could just spend some more time together, he didn’t need too much convincing. Any excuse to stay close to you, to steal some of your time just a little longer before returning to his dull apartment.

‘How could I say no to you, doll?’ He had said, and you’d beamed at the small victory.

Truly, you hadn’t meant for it to end up where it was (not that you were complaining). When you asked Bucky to come into your apartment building, when you’d walked together hand in hand, you didn’t think you’d wind up like this. But somewhere between being plastered against Bucky’s backside and having the privilege to let your hands wander and explore tight leather hiding thick arms or the adrenaline of feeling the wind whipping in your hair, you’d started to become insatiable on the trip back.

Bucky had this way with you that made you feel like a teenager in love all over again.

Sure, he was quiet, but he was misunderstood. Soft and sweet, he had a compassionate heart and an intelligent mind, the gentle giant.

It’d taken some time to help Bucky bring down those walls initially - countless weeks you’d spent just trying to be his friend before he finally caved and agreed. He was a private person, you learned, but once peeling back all the layers, Bucky was amazing and worth all the work that went into opening him up. Creative and smart, a book-lover and funny, he was gentle and tender and emotional in every way that a man could be if they let themselves. He wasn’t afraid to be honest, but was instead afraid to voice that too loud. He wasn’t afraid to be emotional or vulnerable with those he trusted - not the unfeeling machine that so many had made him out to be. Bucky had simply needed someone who understood him - or was willing to if nothing else.

Once you’d gotten past all of it, all of the rough nights and moody days, it was worth it. You’d watched Bucky become something he never was before…

He was the one who had taken your relationship a step further.

Tentatively and timidly, might you add. Always endearing. He’d been anxious asking you to come out with him - as though he’d been fighting with himself for a long while on whether or not he should even ask. When he finally called you and asked if you’d like to go out on a date with him tonight - yes, he’d used date - you’d been elated.

And sure, you were moving a little too fast at that moment, but life is short and he’s already on seventy years of borrowed time. Bucky deserves to be loved.

Warm hand had rubbed up the length of Bucky’s bicep, and you gave his shoulder a squeeze when getting off of his motorcycle with a teasing glint in your eyes.

When he walked with you into the building, you hugged his left arm to your side - refusing for any additional space to come between the both of you as you prattled on about 'Birthday', by Dorothea Tanning and how you interpreted it as the door into the imagination, and Bucky was busy trying to remember which painting it was you were talking about - it was 'the winged scared cat-creature on the floor' that rejogged his memory.

Bucky was just happy you clung so easily to the cold and hard metal of his vibranium arm as if it were his own.

Turning into your hall, you’d begun to pull Bucky by the arm. Turning on your heel and offering him a smitten smile when you tugged him closer to your body in a backward walk. His eyes crinkled at the corners with his smile, his smile wide and showing off pretty white teeth. Even the sheepish duck of his head was precious when you led him into your apartment, finally excited to have time where it could be just you and Bucky without prying eyes.

"If you were eager to get home, you could've just said so," Bucky teased you, and you gave a playful smirk in response.

"M'not, I'm just excited to finally be alone with you." you'd cooed, attempting to make the words seductive but honestly they came more sentimental than anything.

The door gave way behind you when you twisted the knob with your one hand, the other still clutching to Bucky's sleeve. It didn't give Bucky a chance to respond to your retort when you tugged him right on into your apartment. Instead, it earned a chuckle that snapped into a gasp with your pull.

It was when that door shut that something came over you. Tucked into your own little corner of the world, you didn’t fear overwhelming Bucky with affection that made him uncomfortable. No worries about people gawking and making him feel out of place (or him being afraid of gawking, really).

When you both were just past the threshold of your apartment, you turned and used your foot to push the door shut. Fingers sliding up Bucky's arm, you used the moment to grab the lapels of his leather coat and step back - coming flush with the door and dragging Bucky right on into your tight space.

Hardly giving him a chance to protest. Wide cobalt eyes study you when you both are finally still, Bucky's hands hovering a little uselessly briefly and while shocked, still pleasantly surprised by your bravery.

"Someone is a little impatient," Bucky comments, expression softening. "Not impatient, just excited." You defend with a loving smile. "I could've sworn there was a bottle of wine mentioned..." Bucky trails. "Can you even get intoxicated?" You rhetorically question with a curious tilt of your head and a knowing grin. "Can't I drink for the taste like most people do?" Bucky retorts. "Touché."

You both fall into a small fit of giggles and soft laughs, the small talk helping to alleviate some of Bucky's nerves. His hands slowly come to settle on your sides since you're not budging from where you'd pressed flat against the door. Enjoying being wedged between a door and Bucky - you'd be crazy not to.

Despite the way, your mind is running a million miles a minute and your gaze can't seem to draw away from Bucky's pouty lips, Bucky doesn't seem to be picking up as easily on your advances. That's okay. He's always been worth the wait.

“...Did you have a good evenin’, doll?” he asks, flesh hand smoothing down to delicately rest on your hip.

“I was with you, wasn’t I?" Bucky looks at you for a beat as if slightly unconvinced... "Yes, Bucky. One of the best dates I've ever been on... ‘S a shame, I don’t want it to end.” You coo, drawing Bucky in closer until you’re both flush against each other. His left-gloved hand lifted to push your hair from your face tenderly.

“Who says it has to end right here?” Bucky hums with his signature playboy grin - no wonder why he had every girl in Brooklyn creaming their panties.

The low husk of his voice strikes you to your very core, allowing your imagination to run wild with the countless thoughts of what the man before you could really do if he tried. Really, it wouldn’t take much; Bucky already had you curled around his finger, whether he knew it or not was another question.

“I thought you’d never ask,” pleased, you lay your hands flat on Bucky’s chest. Feeling under his open coat and hands finding the expanse of muscle. You tilt your head back, biting your bottom lip seductively with a cheeky grin.

You aren’t ready to find Bucky’s eyes watching you so intently. The way he wets his bottom lip before worrying it between his teeth and releasing that pouty lip of his. Eyes boring right into you and keeping you pinned between him and the door. Ever so carefully, Bucky cups your cheek in his large gloved palm. There’s hardly a missed beat when you turn your head and nose affectionately into his palm, able to hear the soft whirring of the machinery before pressing a chaste kiss to leave behind.

“I had fun tonight,” You reiterate to him softly - the drag of your lips accentuated with every word against his palm.

“M’glad. You look good when you’re happy.” Bucky murmurs, but he seems distracted. Cobalt eyes follow every drag of your lips, Bucky exhales a shallow breath.

“I bet I could think of a few ways you could make me even happier, Bucky,” you singsong, hand sliding up over Bucky’s that hold your cheek to press affectionately into his touch. Always grateful for anything, nuzzling into him like a needy kitten.

Part of you is waiting for the next step. For him to make the next move - that’s the dance between you two. You step, and Bucky steps one more further. Playing off of each other. It doesn’t come.

“M’sure you could, sugar,” Bucky starts, and you’re waiting for the ‘But’... “But,” There it is. “Maybe we should slow down just a little. It’s been such a good night…”

“We could make it better,” you offer, and Bucky flushes slightly at the implication.

“...I don’t want to move too fast,” Bucky says after a pause in a hushed whisper - as though scared if he speaks any louder, the universe may come in and rip this good thing away from him as it has a history of doing.

“Listen, I care about you. And I had a really, really good time with you - I’m still so happy you agreed to come out with me. But you’re not- Not some dame. I’m not just trying to get into your pants, Y/N…” Bucky elaborates tentatively, and you watch him with understanding in your gaze.

“I know,” You softly lament. “You’re not that kind of fella, Bucky…” “I want you to feel comfortable with me - happy,” Bucky emphasizes, and for half a moment your heart hurts for the man in front of you. So convinced he’s still capable of doing harm, even after all of this time. “I can’t think of a time I’ve been uncomfortable around you at all, actually,” Softly you contest, and Bucky offers you a briefly amused smile.

“We can take our time,” Bucky presses; You can tell it’s more for him than it is for you. “Anything you need.” No questions about it. Nuzzling into Bucky’s palm, your lips form a chaste smile. “You’re too good to me, sugar…” “Funny, I’ve found myself thinking that all night.” Bucky finds humor in the words; expression softening and some of the tension that had begun to rebuild in him falling away. Bucky laughs. Soft, but rich. He leans in and presses a lingering kiss to your temple; Protective and loving. “Earlier, you said you had fun… So did I. This was one of the best nights in a while for me,” The admission comes with the feel of Bucky’s lips ghosting your skin. It’s distracting.

“I’m glad; You deserve good things, too, Bucky.” Something you tend to try to remind Bucky of often; You’ll slam that fact into his head until he one day decides to believe it for himself and see what everyone else sees. “You are my good thing,” he whispers even quieter; Unintentionally dropping the tone of his voice and sending shivers down your spine.

No words are exchanged when your hands lift and find Bucky’s defined jaw; cradling him gently and drawing him in for a deep but loving kiss. The first of many tonight.

Both you and Bucky had soon migrated from the door in the foyer to your cozy living room. You both struggled to keep space between one another; Lips meeting together over and over again. The only sound was your own heart pounding in your ears and the soft breaths between you and Bucky.

You were planted in his lap. Sat on strong, thick thighs - your arms draped around Bucky’s broad shoulders. His hands sat comfortably on your sides; gloves abandoned on the coffee table when he’d wanted to feel you. Not leather obstructing him from feeling the proper warmth of your flushed skin. His head tipped back to accommodate the way you had gained a few inches on him upon being seated in his lap.

Despite the way you two were entangled, it was nothing more than kisses. His hands hadn’t dared to venture below your belt, and while the kisses were definitely full of passion, it wasn’t the flame you were yearning and burning for. To respect Bucky’s request though, you didn’t proceed any further. Content with the taste of Bucky on your tongue, the warmth of his breath, and the barely there noises you were able to draw out of him that rumbled in his chest. His lips were soft and moved naturally against one another - It was a moment of euphoria.

Just the way your mouths slotted together alone was enough to rile you up; It’d been so long, and no one was as tender a lover as Bucky was with you. Each time he touched you, it was with consideration and care for what you wanted, what would feel good. Never in the means of his own self-gain. It made you that much more desiring of him; the connection that you both maintained had been there for months, it was simply that you both had finally begun to act on it.

You’d told yourself you’d be slow. Take this at your own pace. No one wants to rush into a relationship that has the potential to end messy. But there you were; Necking in your living room with Brooklyn’s finest bachelor since 1936. Truly, you were only human, and it hadn’t escalated further than that. Breathing each other in, heated and heavy. You hadn’t even done it intentionally.

One could only fault you so much when your hips rolled into Bucky’s. Formerly nestled still in his lap, you found yourself moving without thought. Grinding down into the soldier’s lap, it elicited a deep groan from his throat, and tilted his head down to pull your lips apart. His hands instinctively moved to your hips; Clutching moderately tight to still your ministrations. You relished in the subtle pressure that came with Bucky’s hands securely enough to hold you still for hardly a moment. It was enough time for you to have realized the mistake you’d made.

“Shit, I’m sorry–” you stammered between the both of you, and Bucky instead took a shallow inhale. “No, no– It… It was good. It felt good, it’s-... It’s just… been a while.” Bucky timidly expressed, cheeks flushed and breathless. You noticed how he struggled briefly to maintain a heated gaze with you, eyes averting before pinching shut altogether.

“Do we need to stop? It’s okay if we do, Bucky…” Let him know that he had that out if he needed it; You wouldn’t be upset.

That option left Bucky shaking his head profusely. “No,” he rasps out, and you can feel his breath fanning your face. Can still taste him on your lips. You’re both still so close… You can feel the faint flex of his fingers holding you. “I want to keep going… Just… Give me a moment, alright?” He requests, and you give him a comforting smile and an understanding nod.

Your fingers card up into Bucky’s disheveled locks and brush thick hair back from falling in his face. Some of the tension leaves his body when you press a chaste kiss to his temple.

“Whatever you need,” you softly let him know. You’re both still for a minute or two. Simply letting Bucky hold your hips while you kept some of the pressure on your knees - dug into the cushions on either side of his thick thighs. Soothingly rubbing your fingers through Bucky’s hair and giving him a tender hug he relishes in.

Then, slowly, he pulls you back down. Guiding your ass back into his lap and bodies coming flush together. The moment is experimental and you allow Bucky to take all the time he needs even if there is a burning in your thighs from the awkward position. Basking in the relief with a soft sigh and nosing into Bucky’s hair. His hands experimentally dare to explore a little further down. Rubbing from your waist down over your hips to the tops of your thighs. His hands feel like that of a bear's paws in comparison to your physique.

“How are we feeling…?” You ask, checking in on him. “A little better… I’ve been using that 4-7-8 breathing method my therapist recommended, actually,” Bucky says, and you can tell for a moment he just needs to play it by ear. Even if you both don’t do anything tonight, he’s worth the wait.

“Really? That’s good,” Indulging in the moment of chit-chat as his hands still continue the back-and-forth motion. Hypnotizing and leaving your thighs tingling.

Bucky’s reply comes in a soft hum, tilting his head down to nudge his nose at your neck. You tilt your head enough for him to burrow in the hollow of your throat and nose affectionately there. His warm breath makes your skin break out in goosebumps. You let out a shaky exhale before a sappy grin spreads across your face.

He begins to slowly mouth at the sensitive skin of your throat. Gentle kisses and the faint scratch of his stubble that initially tickles enough to make you wiggle in his lap.

“Bucky!” You squeak and you feel the grin against your skin.

“Easy, easy…” Bucky lowly tells you and it burns into your core. It’s easy to go lax when he’s the voice coaxing you back. “Good doll,” Bucky says with a chuckle - clearly teasing but it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

“M’ticklish,” You defend as your arms squeeze around his shoulders. “I can tell. Might come in handy one day…” His lips still ghost over your skin; ever so distracting.

“You wouldn't.” “I might,” Bucky says, his voice smooth but thick like honey.

A playful pinch to Bucky’s shoulder makes him surrender with a laugh before tipping his head up to press your foreheads together again. This time you’re surprised to find his eyes meeting yours head-on.

“Thank you for being understanding,” Bucky addresses the elephant in the room, traces of anxiety in those gray eyes. “I’m still trying to learn how to let myself be with someone else…”

The words feels so raw; A hushed confession and a moment Bucky is being fully honest with you. Not hiding from it or skirting around it - communicating his boundaries and being able to give himself the time he needs. Your chest swells with pride for the man before you in his growth; You’re so inlove.

“It’s okay, really. I’m not here just to get into your pants, Bucky. I care about you, and we can go as fast or as slow as you need.” You affirm, always wanting Bucky to know that. That he’s safe with you the way you are with him.

“I know,” he whispers, tipping his head up a little further to let your lips brush. “It’s why I like you so much…”

You smile, unable to help but feel a fluttering in your chest. Bucky draws you the rest of the way to press your lips together again. Starting from scratch so that Bucky is able to be more expecting and prepared this time. The build-up doesn’t bother you in the slightest, and it doesn’t take the both of you long to build up where you once were. Bucky’s comfortable kissing you. It’s everything else that daunts him.

Bucky is the one who holds your hips tight against his lap as he gives an experimental roll of his hips up into your ass; feeling the semi-bulge through his jeans. You gasp against his lips, and he seizes the moment to lick hot into your mouth. He doesn’t do it again; Teasing you and inviting you to take the next step. Experimentally, you return the gesture when you grind against Bucky’s lap. It draws a noise from both of you at that time.

“Yeah..,” Bucky huskily groans. “That’s good, fuck…” Bucky’s praise eggs you on to keep pressing down into Bucky. Rotating your hips to allow both of you to grind through your clothes; Traces of Bucky’s arousal evident in his jeans.

He steals your breath with a claiming kiss. Strong hands trailing up your thighs to test the waters. Feeling over the swell of your ass and encouraging you to keep pressing down into him. Rutting against his constricted and half-swelled cock. You’re unsure what to do with your hands other than planting them firmly on Bucky’s chest as you grind your sexes together. Fingers curling into bunch fabric of his shirt as Bucky’s head tilts to deepen your kiss further.

With each second that passes, you feel dizzier. High on the endorphins and lack of oxygen - your chest felt warm and fuzzy. Kissed senseless as Bucky’s firm hands squeeze the globes of your ass and rips a needy keen from your throat, drawing your grinds to a controlled halt. Right when you fear as though you might be too light-headed from the lack of air, Bucky shows some mercy. Freeing your lips and leaving you to gasp; Bucky licking his lips with a satisfied grin.

“I think I taste mint, did you pop a tic-tac earlier when I wasn’t looking…?” Bucky breathlessly teases, both of you so close that you can feel his smile. In that moment, you’re simply trying to return to Earth for a moment between soft, airy breaths.

When you will yourself to finally look at Bucky again, his eyes are blown. His black pupils swallowing the blue of his eyes; leaving behind a thin ring. Something inside of him looks livelier than you’ve ever seen, Bucky’s cheeks flushed and lips swollen.

“Jesus, Bucky,” is all you manage, earning a cheeky grin from Bucky - proud. “Speechless? I’m relieved to know after nearly a century I haven’t gotten rusty… It’d be embarrassing if I was 107 and didn’t know how to kiss,” Bucky jokes, and something inside of you feels so warm and fuzzy.

That you both can joke while still being in the moment and grinding into each other moments prior.

“Cocky, are we soldier?” You hum after regaining some of your composure, hands lifting to hold his face. Before Bucky has a chance to speak, the wiggle of your hips draws a reminder of the length in his jeans. Bucky chokes on a stifled groan low in his throat at the way you frott into him.

“Very funny,” he asks, still slightly out of breath.

“You took me by surprise,” you admit softly, “You never seem so brave…” “Frankly, sugar, it’s… Been a really long time. I’ve spent a too long runnin’ and not getting to actually feel alive - I’m not just surviving anymore. It’s taken time and it’ll still take more, but you make me feel better.” Bucky confesses fondly, and you snort with amusement. Pressing a loving kiss to his lips.

“Sap.” You murmur between soft pecks. “Only you could turn something hot into something sweet.” “Can’t we have both?” Bucky cooes. “Absolutely.”

This time, you take lead. Pecking kisses down from Bucky’s lips, over his stubbled cheek and defined jaw. His head tilts back to accommodate the way you nudge, leaving open-mouth kisses in your wake. Sucking the salty skin to leave behind loving bruises that will only last so long with Bucky’s healing factor. He groans; Adam’s apple bobbing when you stamp kisses back up his neck to the juncture of his ear and jaw. A soft kiss before you take a playful nip at his earlobe and send shivers racking through the man under you. “Oh, babydoll,” Bucky sighs airly, taking it upon himself to guide your hips. You move on your own accord as Bucky grinds you into his lap; Moving you back and forth to rut together through your clothes. You don’t have to do any of the work, instead just taking some time to give Bucky the loving he deserves.

When you peer at his face, his eyes are closed. Lashes kissing the tops of his cheeks and lips parted with soft breaths; the occasional clench of teeth pulls out a gravelly rumble from his chest. All of it has you so hot, so riled up. It’s just the two of you alone in the apartment; The air is charged with electricity between the two of you. The scrape of your teeth makes Bucky’s lips curl into a devious grin.

“You’re doin’ so good for me,” Bucky praises. “My pretty baby, yeah… God– Do you feel what you do to me, honey…?” Bucky’s voice was hoarse, the friction working him up just as much as it was you. The throbbing between your legs was becoming insatiable - your answer coming in a whimper as you sucked another purpling bruise into Bucky’s throat.

Your hips move enthusiastically. Trying to meet Bucky for every grind; Becoming too much for him to handle at one point.

“Sl-Slow down, baby… Easy, we’ve got time,” he attempts to coax, but you’re busy chasing that high at that moment. You want to make Bucky feel good - this is doing that for him; Pleasing him.

“What’s wrong, big guy?” You ask with an airy giggle, nosing up to Bucky’s ear. Your lips press against the shell of his ear; “I can’t get enough of you touching me, Bucky. I just want to make you come, thinking about it turns me on so much…”

You don’t realize until it’s too late what the words do to him, whispered out right in his ear. Bucky’s nose scrunches up and his jaw goes slack. His body becomes taut underneath you; Hands clutching hard and leaving a dull ache in your bones despite the way you’re still trying to move. Bucky’s hips stutter harshly, and suddenly he’s gasping out. Moaning low and breathy as he rides out his orgasm with half-hearted bucks up into your ass.

Your eyes widen with a sense of wonder as Bucky comes undone in those short few seconds. His lips curl into a perfect ‘o’ and he shudders, eyes pinched shut. “Ohhhh fuuuck,” Bucky moans, long and drawn out, and there’s not a hotter sight than Bucky Barnes coming because of you. You smile; Pleased with yourself and priding yourself on the fact of being able to be the one to do this to Bucky. You continue the grueling roll of your hips into his hard dick - little left to the imagination while your fingers tangle in his hair and you hold him close. Watching his face all the while; Not wanting to miss a single moment.

Bucky rides it out until he’s left with beads of sweat misting his hairline, panting with the rise and fall of his chest. Taking his time, licking his lips before seemingly becoming sheepish of how easily he’d just fallen apart. No warning; It’s been so long since he’s had another sexual partner to experience these things within a positive environment.

Your hips only stop when he’s well and done, knowing that most guys half the time are one-and-done. “That… That felt really good, m’sorry, it’s– it’s different. With, y’know, someone else… Versus alone…” Bucky manages awkwardly, and you simply draw him in for a lingering kiss.

“I understand,” You murmur comfortingly against his lips. “You can clean up in the bathroom; I don’t have anything in your size for underwear, unfortunately, but I can find a pair of flannel bottoms that might fit…” “What about you?” Bucky asks, raising a brow. “Me?” “You.. You didn’t get to… Y’know.”

It’s oddly endearing how he worries about the fact that you weren’t able to get off the way he had. “What, we’re afraid to use adult language now?” You tease, and Bucky rolls his eyes. “M’bein’ serious. I want you to feel good…” Bucky says, rubbing your thighs soothingly. “I can get it up again if you give me a minute.” He adds, and for a moment you’re confused before placing the answer upon a super soldier refractory period.

“You’d be comfortable with that..?” You ask with a curious tilt, and Bucky bites his lips together; you can see the lingering daze in his eyes from the post-orgasm haze. “No,” he answers almost nervously. “I… Tonight has been a lot already. I don’t think I want to go there yet…” And you expect it to end there, but: “I have something else in mind, though.”

“Oh, do you now…?” you muse, curious. “Have you ever heard of mutual masturbation…?”

You’re both sat facing one another on the couch; One of your legs tucked under your body and pants long abandoned to the floor leaving you in nothing but your underwear. You’d felt far less reluctance than Bucky had when it came to stripping down; The layers shed easily as your anticipation festered more and more to the surface.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t excited. You’ve known Bucky for a while now, and let’s not lie to yourself - He’s a good-looking man who can do things with a single look. The ‘Barnes Charm’ he was so popular for when he was young was still there; Showing itself in small flickers of moments from time to time. The only instances in acting on it on your behalf were in the comfort of your bedroom, alone in the sheets. No one’s business but yours.

But now you’re there with him and no one else. No one to disturb your private moment.

Touch was something that was hard for Bucky - he’d expressed that to you when he stammered over what he’d been asking of you. That he’d rather watch one another right then.

Bucky had no problem drinking you in, either. His eyes were fixed on every movement you made - when you’d peeled your shirt off his eyes followed the expanse of glowing skin and studied it all. Every curve and slope of your body; There was no question of how enamored he was with you. It was the first time in a long time you’d felt truly seen. Someone who wasn’t just trying to get into your pants but found you breathtaking.

It was flattering; You could feel the heat in your cheeks and the way it flustered you to be looked at in awe. There was something about Bucky that made you feel perfect. He was a man that was genuine in everything he did; Not much of a people-pleaser if he doesn’t have to be. Arguably a little stubborn, actually. You knew nothing about the way he looked at you was feigned.

He chews his lip as his eyes study you. Leaned more forward from where he’s sat sideways on his half of the couch. Left hand clutching the back of the couch cushion, Bucky had that familiar bulge in his jeans (which were now unbuttoned and peeled open to show off his navy blue briefs).

“You look so perfect, doll…” Bucky murmurs lovingly after a moment, and your heart melts in your chest.

The words felt too intimate for you to accept easily, but you didn’t want to reject the compliment either. So rather than reply verbally, you leaned back into the cushion propped up behind you and drew your right leg up; Pressed into the back of the couch. Your right leg dangles off the side of the couch and leaving you exposed to Bucky. A welcome invitation if he decides to change his mind and wants to touch you.

Bucky breath hitches; shuddering out a slow exhale through his nose. His gaze is hungry, his hand thoughtlessly moving to his own groin to palm the returning erection.

“I’ll love you right, one of these days, sugar.” Bucky promises with a lick of his lips. “This is just fine for tonight, Bucky,” You reassure him, and his gaze racks up to your face. “Thank you again for understanding,” And the softness in his hungry eyes sends a cold desire to your core - something more intimate about that look than the one threatening to eat you whole. “Anything for you.” You tell him, meaning every word.

With that, you make a deliberate show of teasing your fingers down your chest and tummy before slinking between your legs.

“Aww, that’s it, sugar,” Bucky hums fondly with a breathy chuckle. “Eager little thing, gonna put on a pretty show for me..?”

“Only if you promise to do the same; This is just as much for me as it is for you,” You tease affectionately, mood defiled when you trace your hole with your middle and ring finger. The pads of your fingers are cold on sensitive skin, leaving you to shiver and sigh out an airy moan.

“M’not in nearly as a rush as you are, sweetheart.” Bucky hums, and you catch the way his hand slides down to palm at his cock through his underwear. “So excited to be on display, are we?” “Just for you,” you exhale, preening at the way he looks at you while experimentally dipping the tips of your fingers into your wet and wanting hole.

“Thank God, might have to wring someone by the neck if I gotta share a sight as sweet as this...” The tone is playful and joking, but there are traces of genuine possessiveness in Bucky’s voice. The idea alone is enough to have you showing off; gathering the wetness and making a deliberate show of smearing it over glistening skin. Bucky licks his lips with a look as though he wants to eat you alive.

Atleast it’ll give him something to look forward to for when you both do get to the point you can be physically comfortable with intimacy. You can have more than enough fun with this.

“Mother, mary, n’ joseph…” Bucky drawls; that Brooklyn accent of his coming through thick with the rumble of his words. He relaxes back into the couch while you continue the steady stroke of teasing yourself, playing with your clit and leaving your cunt throbbing. Bucky properly slides his jeans down his thighs and bunches his briefs along with them.

The evidence of his previous orgasm smeared in his soiled briefs, his cock thick and bobbing at the cool air. Bucky hisses through his teeth before spitting into his hand and stroking himself off languidly.

“Don’t stop, sweetheart. Keep touchin’ yourself for me, I wanna see how you like it…” the words were hummed low, squeaking a moan out of you with just the way he spoke to you alone. “Aww, did you like that, baby? Like the way I talk to you..?”

You bite your lip, swallowing back the noises and answering Bucky’s question in a profuse nod. Fingers still insistently tracing yourself to that sweet spot, you could feel the slow knot building in the pit of your tummy.

“Ah, ah, ah… If m’gonna talk, I wanna hear those sweet noises, babydoll. Sing for me,” Bucky cooes with a breathy chuckle, still fucking his fist on the length of his cock. Pre-come beading at the slit and making the tip glisten with the signs of his arousal.

“Oh, Bucky,” You wantonly mewl out, surprising yourself with how helpless you sound. Trailing your slick fingers down to press the tip of your middle finger into your weeping cunt. Experimentally pressing in, having been pent up for what felt likes ages and aching for relief.

“That’s it, baby,” Bucky’s hand begins to speed up over his aching cock; His thickness jerking in his palm whenever you make a particularly sweet noise. “Show me how you stuff that needy cunt; I wanna see how you - fuck - take care of yourself…”

You moan for Bucky; needy and high and airy. It just feeds into his own arousal as he jerks off across from you. His own groans deep and rough - Piercing gaze keeping you pinned to the couch. Unable to look away from the way Bucky’s gaze bore into you.

His eyes watch you expectantly; Waiting for you to do what he’s asked. You oblige.

Your fingers press knuckle-deep into your cunt; Experimentally thrusting into your channel and leaving your back to arch slightly off the arm of the couch.

“Oh,” you mewl out, fingers driving into your hole, stretching your tightness and leaving your arousal to spill out.

Bucky jerks his thick cock, hand sliding easily and the ministration made easier by the pre-come that spills over his fist. He shifts his hips, licking his lips and grinning at the way you fuck yourself open.

“Look at you, such a pretty baby,” Bucky breathes low between pants for air. “If I didn’t know any better I’d have thought you – mmh, god - were waitin’ for this. So eager to get that hole wet…”

The way Bucky talks to you makes your chest flutter. Your face feels hot, gasping as it drives the way you fuck your hole. Watching the up-stroke on Bucky’s cock - imagining the length sliding home into you and whimpering at the thought. Your eyes screw shut, the room filled with the slick sounds of your fingers in your hole.

“Oh no, babydoll, open those pretty eyes. I want you to watch me,” Bucky demands, and your eyes open on command. “Yeah, that’s it… Good baby, see this?” Bucky stops the stroking of his dick to let his fingers wrap around the girth and give a little tap of the tip to his thigh. Showing off the girth and his thick balls.

“Yeah, yeah this is all for you, honey. M’so hard for you, all for you…” The rumble of his voice was soothing as it was arousing.

“Bu-Bucky,” you squeak past trembling lips. Thighs softly quaking — Bucky’s words could get you off alone. Who knew he was such a filthy talker?

“I’m right here, sugar. ‘S okay, make yourself feel good. Don’t gotta hold back for nothin’, show me, pretty thing. I wanna see it all…” It’s permission if you’ve ever heard it, and suddenly at that moment, you realize how dependent Bucky’s say was over your building orgasm. As if your body knew it was waiting on his approval before you could let yourself come undone.

Your legs draw up to clench your thighs – Stopping yourself when you remember Bucky’s eyes are still fixed upon your flushed body. Watching the hypnotizing display of the quick work you made fingering your needy cunt while he relished int he display. Stroking his cock languidly before building up a pace that matched your own; Wanting to follow your arousal with you.

Just because you both weren’t touching doesn’t mean he couldn’t work with you.

It doesn’t take much; Not that it surprises you. You’d been pent up from the previous grinding into one another; hot and bothered by kisses that gave you a hint of what more could be like.

While your one hand is busy playing with your nub, your free hand smooths up to ruck up your shirt. Bucky’s dilated eyes light up even more when your hand moves under your top; Rolling a nipple between your fingers and drawing even more whorish noise from your swollen lips.

Bucky downright growls, hips arching subtly off the couch as he fucks up into his fist.

“Fuck, you like to play with your nipples, baby? Aww, bet you’re so sensitive… Mm, fuck, yea… M’gonna love gettin’ my hands on you when we’re ready. Gonna learn every nook n’ cranny of you; Wanna worship that pretty body of yours.”

He keeps talking like that; each word straight to your aching core and leaving you soaked. Bucky picks up on it in the way you get louder — noisier.

“You like that? Of course you do — who knew you were so fuckin’ filthy, sugar? Aw, m’gonna come, baby,” Bucky’s voice even until it begins to find a sense of urgency towards the end. A sharp breath from him, both of your hands moving while you watch one another. Pleasuring yourselves and being your most intimate selves; On display for one another.

Your jaw is slack, gasping and moaning out pitiful squeaks while you touch yourself. Bucky’s hand moves smoothly over his arousal, the sound of skin on skin as he jerks himself off.

“Oh, oh fuck, please, I-I’m gonna come, Bucky,” you cry out, and Bucky thumbs at the tip of his cock; wrist twisting towards the head.

“Come for me, baby. C-Cream all over your pretty fingers — come for me, come for me,” Bucky’s words drive you over the edge.

Your walls flutter emptily; begging to be filled as you come undone under your fingers. It’s cloud nine, riding out your high on your familiar fingers. Thighs trembling and soaked with your wetness, hips canting up into nothing as you finish on your fingers. Gasping and squealing out until you’re reduced to pathetic whimpers.

Bucky watches you all the while. Fucking his fist and growling out through his bared teeth when you come. Reaching his own orgasm and painting his fist in thick stripes of creamy white that you want to lick clean. He pants, face flushed as his cock spills his heavy load. Staining the denim of his jeans and leaving a mess (though he’s careful of the couch).

You both slump into the couch, still facing one another when the high has passed. Panting for air, the smell of sex and sweat heavy in the air. You’re the one to break the quiet with an airy giggle, which Bucky grinds widely in response to.

“Are you alright, honey..?” Bucky asks curiously, his own voice hoarse and quiet. “Perfect. How’s about a shower…? You’ve already seen me from the stomach down, I’ve already seen your dick. That’s practically all we have. Nothing to hide,” you offer with a roughness to your own voice, swallowing thickly. You smile, still lingering in the soft air of the post-orgasmic haze.

“Sounds perfect, baby. I’ll go get the shower runnin’, okay?” Bucky offers, tucking his mess back into his underwear (he won’t be wearing them much longer anyways). Scooting forward, he uses his clean hand to cup the back of your head and press a gentle kiss to your temple.

You nod with a soft, ‘mhm’. Enjoying the settling moment's peace and serenity despite the cooling wetness coating your thighs. Moving will be awful but it was well worth it.

Bucky certainly leaves an impression. Kicking off the evening with flowers and a ride to the art museum, strolling the halls lovingly with him while partaking in art, only to come back to your apartment and masturbate together. Bucky might be more full of surprises than you thought. You couldn’t be more excited.

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RIP, AIM: Remembering how we used to talk on the internet

A eulogy for AOL Instant Messenger, and how it changed the way we talk about games and everything else By Luke Winkie published December 15, 2017

Do you remember all the souls you've lost to the internet? Those incidental friendships, forged in IRC clients, Newgrounds forums, 40-man Ragnaros wipes, scattered across the globe when the web was young? They came into your life and played Fall Out Boy over Ventrilo. They came into your life and disappeared forever. Do you remember when snapping a selfie required a frustrating tangle of mechanical coercion, but it was worth it to show them your face? When real-life names were rarefied information shared exclusively through digital blood pacts? AIM shut down today, and the only thing I can think about is how all of those people still exist somewhere, perhaps exploring the same pit in their stomach that I am.

AIM belongs to all of us. As a pioneering force of internet communication, anyone born in the early '90s or late '80s has spent some time on the platform. As a 26-year old, I'm crucially aware that my appreciation for the prodigal instant messenger is colored by a nostalgia that has nothing to do with the service itself. It was simply the medium of choice to grouse about homework, The Decemberists, girls I liked, and the rest of my random bullshit.

But I do believe that there's a special union between AIM and people who grew up playing games, or at least came of age on the internet with people who played games. The early millennium revolutions in online multiplayer pitted us together and asked us to collaborate, so of course we carried those early internet accords to their logical extremes—talking all night in lonely chat boxes about what's cool, what sucks, and how easy it is to relate. In 2017, the web feels less like something I approach for those connections, and more like an overwhelming ennui that I'm constantly trying to outrun. Boston's Kyle Seeley nailed that feeling perfectly with 2015's Emily is Away, and this year's sequel Emily is Away Too—both of which transport you back to the spongy leather office chairs of your parents' computer room.

"AIM was primarily for one-on-one conversations between teenagers. That's how I used AIM, to have a very intimate conversation with another person. Now we have texting and Facebook messenger, but you can use those wherever you are," he says. "You can use those at a concert or while driving. But when you were using AIM, you were sitting down at a computer to talk to people. You had their undivided attention."

Emily is Away tributes AIM in the only way anyone can—spinning a yarn of disentranced high-school drama that eventually mounts into something deeply sad. The way Seeley presents an old Windows XP desktop, with the hilariously temperamental tastes of your idiot friends revealing themselves in their bios and away messages (until one day they stop logging on entirely) is immediately resonant. We've all had our Emilys. "When you have a conversation on the phone, you spend 10 minutes making small talk," says Seeley. "On AIM you talk to someone for hours. Like eight hours, 10 hours straight. You get all the small talk out of the way in the first hour, and then you're talking about these big teenager questions. Who am I? Who do I want to be? I think AIM was really good at that."

It was always difficult for me to articulate the intimacy I felt with my internet friends to my parents. There were the obvious, mechanical mistranslations; I begged my mother for early exits from countless family dinners that consistently managed to interfere with my guild's crucial Molten Core attempts. But beyond that, there was a certain shame in feeling loved and valued by people I only knew by username. A latent fear that those who did not understand might consider that affection to be false, or even sinister. That's different now, as social media has flattened out our offline/online dichotomy, but if you were on AIM, you probably remember how once upon a time those bonds felt illegal.

Years ago Nina Freeman, level designer at Fullbright and one of the foremost thinkers on love and technology, launched a flat-out covert campaign to get close with one of those friends. She spent months locked in the holy matrimony of Final Fantasy XI and nightly AIM treatises with a boy named Glenn from New York City. Eventually they met, but not before Freeman satisfied her aunt, (who she was staying with) with a fabricated narrative—Glenn was no longer a dude from the internet, now he was just an old family friend who happened to move east. "I was still in high school," says Freeman. "We made up that whole story."

That secrecy is immediately familiar to me. AIM was surreptitious, clandestine. A service that belonged to teenagers, sequestered from leering ears and concerned authority figures. As Freeman notes, a screen name was one of the few commodities a young person could fully own. A domain, an aesthetic, a communication channel you could control. It was rare to feel fully untethered from your parents, so you guarded that sliver of liberty with your life.

"I wouldn't hand out [my username] lightly," explains Freeman. "I'd only really do it with people I felt close enough with. It seems sort intimate. It was a 'thing' to add someone on AIM. The expectation would be that if we're adding each other, we're going to chat regularly.… It had a weight to it."

Cecilia D'Anastasio, senior reporter at Kotaku (and a friend of mine) went a step further. As an 11-year-old, she was already griefing in the multiplayer Flash games she shared with her friends over AIM. I don't think anything sums up the juvenile euphoria of instant messaging quite like using that power to cheat in stakes-free freeware.

"One of the Flash games I discovered was basically Pictionary, but online and with a chat room. One player would etch out an image in a Microsoft Paint-like interface while the chat would dutifully guess at what it could possibly be. It was very wholesome," says D'Anastasio. "That's why my friend June and I were passionate about cheating. We'd join a game on the same team. Over AIM, we'd tell each other what we were assigned to draw, instructing whoever was guessing to wait a solid ten seconds before revealing the answer. It was a riot. We always won."

Over the past decade or so AIM has slowly been replaced with services that de-emphasize traditional internet patois. Gchat and Twitter are all full of real names and faces instead of coded handles and custom-colored text, and logging in to most platforms scarcely takes more than a click on a Facebook icon. For the most part, this is a good thing. Anonymity is one of the scourges of online culture—a de facto institution that continues to cause a lot of people pain. Personally though, I can't help but feel like we've lost something along the way. There was a certain sublimity in typing from behind the guise of a username. It gave way to a feeling that your AIM conversations existed in some sort of permissive, alternative reality, the ideal spot to work up the nerve for swollen 3 am confessions. In 2017 there is no such thing as "IRL" anymore; your internet presence is permanently married to your day-to-day existence. Everyone on earth spends their waking hours waging wars and making peace with strangers they will never meet. It is overwhelming and insoluble, and there are moments where I wish I could get outside again.

I'm not the only person that feels this way, and there are some people working to restore the parts of the mid-aughts internet that worked. When I interviewed Jason Citron, CEO of Discord, earlier this year, he affirmed a deep appreciation for AIM, and believed that perhaps the online infrastructure might soon swing back in that direction. "When you zoom out and think about the internet and how communication is trending, there's definitely a trend to more live experiences," he said. "The internet has done so much to connect people asynchronously, so I think there's something more macro happening that Discord is taking part in. It's like we're bringing it back to how it used to be."

He's right. One of the things that's made Discord successful is how separated it feels from the rest of the internet. When you join an ultra-specific channel—for niche Hearthstone formats or fan-favorite Persona characters—it's like you're uncovering a league of obsessives that are ready to welcome you with open arms. The true solidarity of dorkiness. It's funny, but by holding back on cosmopolitan design choices (like Facebook integration or a required photo-reel), Cintron stumbled into a scheme that evokes the furtive splendor that made AIM special. This is something Nina Freeman found when she started up a Discord channel to support her growing Twitch following. "It quickly became a community, and now I have a bunch of newer online friends. I'm already cracking up at myself as I'm wondering what they look like, or what they do in real life," says Freeman. "It definitely has a similar appeal."

If Discord doesn't quite meet your personal instant messaging standards, Citron tells me that, if enough people in the community request it, he'd consider implementing the low-res AIM chimes into the service. You know, door creak, door slam, those disruptive MIDI twinkles. "To this day, that sound still triggers my desire to hop online," he says.

Kyle Seeley is doing something similar. Yesterday he released a piece of DLC for Emily is Away Too that reskins Steam Chat to look exactly like AIM circa 2006. He spared no expense; you can change your text color, drop in vintage, blocky emoticons, and create your own custom profile so you can tell the world that Warped Tour will never die. "It's a farewell to AIM," he says. As one gaming's foremost nostalgia artists, it'd be wrong if he didn't say goodbye.

Now the AIM generation is old enough to both intellectualize their wistfulness, and use the lessons they learned from the service to create for the today's teenagers. To facilitate affection and respect on the internet, to show them what it looks like. We were the first to taste love on the web, at a time when those feelings had no context or guidance, and I hope that AIM helped create a baseline for young people and the midnight communion with those across the screen. The liberation that comes with knowing that the internet friendships you cherish are just as valid and wonderful as you think they are—these stories matter, because they help light that path. Lord knows I needed it, and I'm sure you did too.

Luke Winkie

Contributing Writer

Luke Winkie is a freelance journalist and contributor to many publications, including PC Gamer, The New York Times, Gawker, Slate, and Mel Magazine. In between bouts of writing about Hearthstone, World of Warcraft and Twitch culture here on PC Gamer, Luke also publishes the newsletter On Posting. As a self-described "chronic poster," Luke has "spent hours deep-scrolling through surreptitious Likes tabs to uncover the root of intra-publication beef and broken down quote-tweet animosity like it’s Super Bowl tape." When he graduated from journalism school, he had no idea how bad it was going to get.

#rip aim #aim #aol instant messeging #old web #techcore #aim eulogy #webcore

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craykaycee · 9 months

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sneaks onto ur dash to talk ab one of my aus with these magma doodles------

This is a Street Artist AU I-- basically adopted from @starrspice (thank you, lovelyy!!) This is a post-fire AU where the DCA escapes the fire themselves and into the city. They're stripped of the proper prompts and triggers for their childcare and entertainment programming, but are able to find something their coding can latch onto: a group of children who need entertainment. They modified their performance and entertainment programming with their arts and crafts protocols to create art as a performance!

More details (so many details-- I went off xDD) and designs of the AU, of which I've titled "City Lights and Paint Water", under the cut :3c

They're pretty beat-up from the fire, and without proper access to maintenance, they've retained the burn marks, splattered paint, and other grime associated with being outdoors. Over the months as street artists, passersby donate their old paints and other supplies, hence the oversized trousers and worn apron! (P.S.: cloth placement is more accurate in the magma doodles)

Sun and Moon each have preferred mediums and styles!

Sun prefers acrylic paints and spray paint, his paintings a controlled chaos with loud, scattered colors, large brushstrokes, and splatters. His paintings always have a lot of movement due to his freeform painting style, splattering paint and getting a laugh from the kids.

Moon like to work with watercolors and colored pencil, the colors more muted with small pops of brighter colors (such as lights within windows). He likes to capture the lights of the streets, wondering what the true night sky looks like, his art giving a soft and ethereal mood.

Then we have our Main Character (MC), the viewer/reader! They're a graphic designer for a big corporate tech company, tasked with making pamphlets, brochures, posters, et cetera for the company. Though they do good work as a graphic designer, their true passion is fine arts, but their work isn't taken seriously due to its "childish" appearance despite the real-life deeper meanings. In the meantime, they create for themself, crafting and making trinkets for their apartment. They even make some of their own clothes, made up of several different garments to make something one-of-a-kind. Their outfits are fairly chaotic, typically accompanied by a hair accessory, but the patterns and colors compliment each other well.

MC grew up in a rural area, and still love the open and free areas it provides, but they had to move to an urban city for work and better opportunities. It's a big step up from their small town, overwhelmed by the activity. At the start of the story, they feel disconnected from their work, drained by the cookie-cutter bland work of their graphic designer job, but it's the only way they can reliably earn income.

The story starts with Sun spotting MC beyond the crowd, rushing somewhere. He continues to see them in the distance, unable to approach them due to their haste. He's mesmerized by their appearance, drawn to their creative expression just in their outfit. Moon catches a few glances of MC in the evenings, but doesn't have the same draw to them as Sun, figuring them as just another "everyman" in the crowd. One day, in MC's haste, they lose a paper from their portfolio. When Sun catches it, he sees a presentation sheet of several different designs meant for a business card or a t-shirt emblem. Sun is astounded by them, making MC more interesting than they already were.

It's not until about a week later that Sun takes an opportunity to return the paper and give his compliments. When he does this, however, MC's face falls before forcing a polite smile, thanking him. Before Sun could say anything more, they're gone.

There's so many small moments I'd like to explore, but that's the set-up :3cc I nearly have chapter one (1) completed, two (2) chapters after that already planned. The chapter length is pretty short right now, but I don't know if I wanna beef them up or keep them at this shorter length. We'll see! :D

Welp, these are my boios! I hold them gently in my hands and present them like a proud parent

#City Lights and Paint Water #sun x reader #moon x reader #fnaf au #street artist au #street artist!Sun #street artist!Moon #fnaf y/n #fnaf daycare attendant #cray kay art

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vasito-de-leche · 4 months

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I love how you write, your interpretations of characters are my favorite. If you're okay with it, may I ask for romantic headcanons of Horropedia (Reverse 1999) x Reader? I would love to know what he is like when he's developing a crush, how he confronts his feelings when he realized them, what he's like when in a romantic relationship, etc. Thank you very much!

;R1999 HORROPEDIA - Relationship Headcanons

Compilation of headcanons about Horropedia in a romantic relationship.

awe! i'm glad you like my stuff! and thank you for the lovely words and request, cause i've been itching to write for horropedia <3

i got a liiiiittle carried away with this one, hope that's alright!

Horropedia as a character is fascinating because at a surface level he's a mess and a walking stereotype - a "nerdy nerd" with a very specific hyperfixation on the horror genre, the tall guy with glasses who explains the plot and does his own thing regardless of how others view him, the first one to die in a movie solely because he's perceived as cringe etc, etc.

And yet, his medium is "logic" - he, better than anyone, understands the nonsensical laws that make up the concept of horror, he sees the patterns and the reason why some things are done this way instead of that way. Through logic, pattern recognition and analysis, Horropedia can pretty much understand anything and work his way around any problem, no matter how unorthodox his solutions may be.

In a sense, I'd compare Horropedia to Pavia. Both are characters who are subject to the stereotypes and images others assign to them - but whereas Pavia both fights and plays into all of these roles, Horropedia just brushes it off and continues doing his own thing, being genuine and unapologetically himself.

When it comes to romance, it's easy to assume Horropedia has no interest in it - they're two different genres that don't go together most of the time. It's also easy to assume that he would be a troublesome partner, due to the laser focus attention he gives to his interests. And the latter is partially true: his lackluster love life is entirely because romance hasn't entered his radar, at least not enough to pull his attention away from his one true love.

But I think this is where the aspect of "logic" comes into play. All Horropedia needs is that spark, to find something to truly become invested in when it comes to romance - once he finds it, he'll dedicate the same amount of attention to detail and care as the horror movies he loves so much.

On the subject of Horropedia developing a crush.

Similar to Click, Horropedia would need some time to start noticing the signs of a crush - the difference is that Horropedia is a little quicker when it comes to realizing he's fallen for someone. His forte is horror movies, but he still knows a thing or two when it comes to other genres.

When he cannot rationalize his behaviour around you in a way that makes sense to his current fixation or situation, that's when he knows. And given how straightforward (to the point of bordering on obliviously rude) Horropedia can be, I'd say he'd also be the type to address this crush right away. Now that there's this brand new thing in his life, he'd like to understand it better - to dissect and study the way romance is potrayed, explore how it feels and just analyze it to hell and back. Basically, he wants to know the rules, to figure out how to best proceed.

Of course, he wouldn't dream of confronting you directly, only an amateur would do such a thing. Instead, he asks his friends and pretty much anyone within his general vicinity. He wants to understand romance from every angle, to hear about it from all sorts of people until he feels like he knows enough to start forming his own opinions.

His questions are all theoretical situations that begin rather innocent, innocuous. What does the hero of a romcom do to get the romantic interest? Does it follow a three act structure? And should the third act climax start with a confession or the breakup?

Overtime, they become a little more specific. To the point where his closest friends might suspect something is up, until Horropedia finds himself asking about your interests so that he can figure out the perfect gift for you. Just in case. He finds himself watching romcoms and making extensive research and charts and essays into the genres.

The funniest thing to me is that Horropedia would be extremely casual about this whole ordeal, this crush makes him extremely intrigued in the concept of romance (an oddity for someone so themed around horror), he finds himself staring at you from across the room (this is the third time he's walked into a door because of it) and so on and so forth. But he's so chill about it.

When confronted about his crush - should Blonney or anyone else decide to tease him a little by prodding - Horropedia has no problem blurting out that he has, indeed, fallen for someone. But he'll take your name to the grave, not out of shame or embarrassment but because "he doesn't want to spoil the plot, as obvious as it might be".

On the subject of Horropedia confronting his feelings and some more insight into his mentality.

I'd say there is this small possibility of Horropedia feeling disheartened if he begins to neglect his real passion for the sake of his feelings - it's that sort of guilt and shock one gets when they realize they've forgotten their wallet the moment they're meant to pay for dinner, or when they realize they've forgotten to turn off the oven.

Horror is a huge part of his life and who he is as a person - literally look at the name he's chosen for himself - and given how heavily coded he is to be neurodivergent, I can understand this aspect of him. The feeling like one must choose between two things they enjoy, and all the other things that might come with hyperfixation, both positive and negative.

This is the biggest obstacle for Horropedia when it comes to finally taking the first steps into forming a relationship with you or confessing - the irrational thought that by doing so, he's prioritizing you and romance over horror, something that he holds very dear. One of his stories gives some insight about Horropedia's relationship with horror and how it's something he shared with (and possibly was started by) his grandfather.

I feel like he'll grow a little distant, as a way to set some boundaries for himself or draw a line between his identity and his feelings for you, separate the two so that he doesn't have to feel guilty for giving one more attention than the other. Maybe he simply stops bringing up films around you, because "you're probably not that interested anyway". Masking, he's masking.

But overall, I can see Horropedia being capable enough to get out of this mindset by himself - or with a little help from someone else. Either way, he simply loops back to realizing the obvious: you two were friends, before he realized his feelings for you. You were fine with the whole Horropedia Experience. You liked him for who he was. And he liked you just as you were.

Horropedia is the one who confesses first, the one who asks you out. 100%. And it's so unnecessarily dramatic.

I DO think that Horropedia would make sure to be the one who confesses, just so he can put everything that he's learned about romance into play. And he delivers the most award worthy performance. It would be all about redirection, an unexpected reveal - his skills and animations are also all about fake outs and misleading the audience, after all.

In my head, there's this whole scene about Horropedia asking everyone to help him out confess to you, and everyone is so excited for it - but then he just asks them to fuel this slow rift that formed between you and him, to act vague, distant and mysterious should you ask Blonney or Tooth Fairy about him. Again, unorthodox and weird, but he's cooking. This is all done with the intention of forcing a confrontation between the two of you, just so he can pour his heart out right there - it's all or nothing.

Again, I want to insist that Horropedia, despite being a logical man, still makes as many aspects of his life revolve around the things that he loves and is interested in - he likes films, he likes you. And while romance is not his preferred genre, he still wants to explore all there is about it all thanks to you.

That alone should tell you how much you mean to him. Even if his methods aren't the "proper" way, you know he's putting his whole heart into this. It's all over the top, there's fake rain, etc etc. Of course, your reaction to this is up to you!

If you're mad at him for such convoluted plan, he'll sit there and allow you to scold him to your heart's content - he's used to it as one of the many troublemakers that the Foundation failed to raise as model students. If you laugh at him because of how ridiculous this guy can be sometimes, he'll laugh along, trying to get you to tell him what he could've been done better to get a third act reconciliation. And if you start crying, jump into his arms and play along then he'll be over the moon, trying every single impactful one-liner from every romcom he's watched in the past few weeks.

On the subject of Horropedia and how he acts when he's in a relationship.

Dating Horropedia is pretty easy, because you're dating your best friend. However, it is very easy to misunderstand Horropedia's way of showing affection - those who are more on the insecure side or less receptive to his subtleties may feel like there's been absolutely no shift in the dynamic, that he's treating you the same way he'd treat Tooth Fairy or Vertin.

This is far from the truth! Once Horropedia finally settles into the relationship, he grows very comfortable and allows himself to just exist around you - which isn't saying much since he doesn't mask as much around friends, but it's all about the subtle things!

I like to think Horropedia is very particular about space, as in he makes a point not to invade people's spaces if possible and he'd rather remain in his little bubble. But when it comes to you, he's very casual with physical touch. He's not as cuddly and touchy as characters like, let's say, Matilda, Jessica or Pavia, but being able to rest his head on your shoulder means a lot to him, or just have you lean on him when sitting together. This is pushed to the limit when you two pull all-nighters, binging all of your favorite movies.

He's on cloud nine when you pay attention to his ramblings and makes sure to listen when you ramble to him as well. More than often, he'll do his own little research into the topics you like, just so you have someone to properly discuss things with! Horropedia more than anyone knows what it's like to be brushed aside for being too much or too weird, to have no one listen. Despite his confidence, he has had days of feeling like he keeps on talking to a wall, so he doesn't want you to ever feel like that.

It's all about sharing interests and recommending things that you may like, keeping up with the latest events and so on and so forth, having looong discussions at night about whatever topic you two are extremely invested in.

If these discussions get a little heated and end up as arguments, expect Horropedia to insist on arguing because he's just stubborn like that - it'll take him time to realize that he might've hurt your feelings, or that he might've be hurting too, but he'll come around eventually to talk it out.

Overall, dating Horropedia would be fun because he's full of surprises and excitement, but he's also considerate in his own way.

#reverse 1999 #reverse: 1999 #r1999 #reverse 1999 x reader #reverse 1999 headcanons #reverse 1999 horropedia #horropedia #hes autistic guys hesl iterally so fucking autistic im itching to write an analysis on him bc his quotes give so much. insight into #how the foundation treats arcanists AND their potential ableism BUT LIKE. HES SO AUTISTIC HES JUST LIKE ALL OF US FR

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ashthemadwriter-archived · 1 year

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"Let's find out together, then"

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairing: Chuuya X Fem!Reader

Request: "Chuuya finding his s/OC’s sex toy(s)? 👁-👁" ◜By lovely anon!!◞

Genre: Smut

Format: Headcanons + Scenario

Warnings: Bondage, Handcuffs, NSFW content MDNI

Word Count: 0.7K

A/n: Hehe~~

§ Chuuya... He is always respectful toward your privacy. Never pokes his nose in your business unless he senses that you need protection, so the only way for him to find your toys is you asking him to go through your things.

§ Let's go with this scenario. You're at work and you need something, so you ask Chuuya to go to your house and bring it to you, completely forgetting about the risk of him finding that exclusive collection of yours; and Chuuya, being the perfect boyfriend he is, decides to help his pretty, kinky girlfriend out.

§ Chuuya searches everywhere, but won't find the thing you wanted. Not wanting to miss a spot, he also takes a look at the under of your bed. There isn't that thing he was looking for, but a medium sized red box. A box that has a block ribbon on top of it, tempting Chuuya to go against his morals and take a look at your personal belongings... And boy was that a fine decision.

§ He finally brings you what you want but the look on his face? It's... different. Weird. Smug. Dangerous. Exciting. And that can be said for his words.

"Come home soon tonight. We need to... talk"

§ He doesn't really mean it tho. You won't be talking much. If degradation and loud moans doesn't count hehe~ But that sentence is scary as we're all aware of, so you're kinda anxious until you finally get home. When you go inside the bedroom where he's waiting for you, the smile he's wearing half assures you, until you lay eyes on a particular box of course. A familiar, bloody box.

§ Well, FUCK.

§ "Ah... that's... that's not mine..."

§ Chuuya shakes his head and raises one of his eyebrows (which makes him look a 1000 times sexier), his grin not leaving his face, but getting even bigger.

"Is that so?" "Yeah! I- I don't even know how they work!?"

§ That's when he slowly starts taking his gloves off while his gaze is piercing through your fucking heart, pulling the black ribbon to unravel the box with his bare hands.

§ "If that's the case... Let's find out together then, hmm?"

§ It's... gonna be a long night. Also good luck :>

You gasp as you feel the vibrator on your clit again, struggling to escape from the touch but Chuuya's grasp on you is tight, as if the handcuffs imprisoning your hands weren't enough. You can't see him- the fucking blindfold is getting in the way, but his hot breath burning you neck is emphasizing his presence, and that he's still not willing to stop.

"You've got quite the collection here, Sweetheart. I wonder why you never brought them up though"

His tongue wanders on your skin, licking the shell of your ear as he pushes the toy inside you, delighted by how you squirm on his lap, but never actually try to scape. He knows you can feel his hardened cock tangled in his pants, and he likes it that even though you're already fucked up, you try to rub yourself against his erection; but that has to wait for now. It's still the beginning of the night and there are many more toys in the box waiting to get their turn of exploring through your wet, gummy walls.

Chuuya bites your neck softly, on that particular spot he knows will make your mind go numb, and lightly spanks your ass. He's not angry but you should be more honest with him, and he hopes you'll be after tonight.

"You're so dirty, Baby girl. Not that I will mind though, not at all. I'm just impressed of how hard you were trying to hide these. You thought I would find it quirky, didn't you? I thought that we trusted each other enough to open up... But it's ok, people make mistakes; yet you can't run away from your punishment. So stop shaking around so much Gorgeous; hang in there a little bit and then maybe I'll give you the real thing afterwards. How's the sound of that?"

That... is definitely something worth waiting, and you do have all night, don't you?

#chuuya x reader #chuuya nakahara x reader #nakahara chuuya x reader #chuuya x you #chuuya x y/n #bsd x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #bsd imagines #bsd scenarios #bsd smut #chuuya imagines #chuuya scenarios #chuuya smut #nakahara chuuya smut #chuuya nakahara smut #bungou stray dogs smut #ashthemadwriter

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featureenvyproductions · 1 year

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here’s a bird’s eye view of my comic Eyan Eternal

For people who don't know what it is. Bc I think some of you might find it's right up your alley. Well this is an updated one anyway. I do actually have a volume of this out in print right now, but the low def, basic version is online and complete, and tbh, I just want people to read it. I took almost two years to complete this and quite literally poured every waking moment (after work and when I wasn’t fixing stuff in my house) into this to try and finish it.

Ahem

Here is one of these at a glance things!

If that’s enough to intrigue you, take a look at my chapter masterpost which has convenient links to every chapter post so you don’t have to go figuring out where they are and what order they go in!: https://www.tumblr.com/featureenvyproductions/717516139934154752/eyan-eternal-tumblr-chapter-masterpost?source=share

If you like it and want to support me you can also buy a copy of the first print volume, which collects chapters 1-5 and has a smidge of bonus content (only available in the US right now, but that’s not going to be forever, and I’m working on an e-book as well): https://www.etsy.com/FeatureEnvy/listing/1447399615/eyan-eternal?utm_source=Copy&utm_medium=ListingManager&utm_campaign=Share&utm_term=so.lmsm&share_time=1683565699335

And now here is a more detailed break down if you need more info than that...

*Jonathan Frakes asks you things meme voice* have you ever wondered what you’d find if you REALLY lived forever?

Well, meet Eyan, an immortal vampire.

He’s slowly finding out the answer to that question...

...And it appears to be unbearable isolation.

Eons into the distant future, when most stars have faded in the night sky and the cosmic event horizon has confined any remaining beings to an isolated pocket of the universe, Eyan roams interstellar space in a repurposed generation ship in search of anything that could be considered alive/sentient in the way he is.

So far, he’s out of luck.

That is until he runs into an unexpected former rival on a remote planet - Zero, a sentient android he never expected to be the only other person left alive.

Well. That is, if either of them can really be considered “alive”. What does that mean anyway, when the humans who defined what it means to be alive are all gone?

This is something they’ll have to explore and define for themselves as they attempt to set aside their myriad of differences and try to work together on one of the few ways left to escape the dark fate of ultimate isolation - The Grand Encoder, a machine that can upload minds to a special medium - if it even works for them anyway. In the process, they slowly come to accept that maybe they’d had each other all wrong and weren’t seeing the bigger picture.

You may not find any action-packed Star Wars like escapades here in this sci fi drama. You also won’t find ponderings about the origins of vampires or what gave rise to robot sentience - It’s integral to the plot that these things just ARE. But you will find a thoughtful exploration of identity and how it can cause us to define ourselves and relate to (or abandon) each other depending on the framework within which we are doing that exploration and within which we are compelled to exist. It asks the question, what if the frameworks within which we defined our existence and purpose no LONGER existed...Where would we go from there?

And as two immortal guys who are the only folks left in the universe (as far as they know), Eyan and Zero are just the right people to mull over that.

There is both textual and allegorical queerness in this story - both main characters should be considered gay men, even if it’s The Future TM and terms/exact scopes of identities may not be EXACTLY 1-1 with today’s...But I want to be perfectly clear that it was my intent to make them gay because I wanted to see more gay guys in sci fi and I don’t want anyone erasing that. As for the allegorical stuff - I myself am a trans gay man in my late 30s, so this act of re-exploring and re-framing myself and evaluating how and why queer folks interact with each other the way we do is something I’m very familiar with, and I feel like other folks might relate. (I also peppered in some neurodivergent-person-in-a-neurotypical-world moods tbh.)

Of course it’s not all serious. I do have a bit of fun with some old school vampire tropes, tossing Eyan around and putting him in Situations.

Anyway if this all sounds interesting to you, take a look at my tag and site (above)! I’d appreciate it! I also like to hear from people and see if there’s anything about it you related to! :)

I also do everything. Every last monotonous step (well, aside from literally loading up a printing press to churn out volumes lol - BUT REST ASSURED IF I HAD $10K TO PISS INTO THE WIND I WOULD DO THAT TOO). So if there’s ANYTHING you want to know about my process, I’m happy to tell you so please ask, especially if you’re like trying to get started on your own comic or trying to go to print :)

Edit before I go ahead and blaze this: I want to say, to be honest, the creation of comic was initially motivated almost entirely by the isolation/loneliness I’ve felt in my life. It’s not as bad as some folks’ and I know that, but it is a really prevalent thread throughout my life and sometimes is almost unbearable, and my comic began as an exploration of that loneliness, as well as a narrative exercise to try and express the depth of it at its worst point. I’m putting this out here because ultimately I don’t know...maybe someone will catch my drift and understand the feeling I’m trying to illustrate, and maybe they’ll want to see the plot that came of those feelings. I am not above the need to feel seen lol, especially if other people out there feel like they can resonate with this experience as well.

#Eyan Eternal #my comic #vampire #robot #queer sff #indie comic #indie artist

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anticipatecrime · 9 months

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'𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙩'| colby brock x male oc

a/n: enjoy ;) summary: sam, colby, corey and jake plan to go to the witches forest, little do they know, they’ll meet a friend of jennifers. he’s a lonely medium studying witchcraft, what happens when colby starts to feel a pull towards him? his feelings confuse him, and make him question himself.

words: 8.8k (TOO FUCKING MANY, i got lost in the sauce🫠)

sam sat on his couch, dialing the number of the woman him and colby met at the stanley hotel. the latter began to film as she picked up.

“hello?”

“hi is this jennifer?” they shared a look towards eachother, acknowledging the awkwardness.

“yes, this is she.”

“sweet uh.. about that forest, was that a legit offer? colby and i have been talking over the past few weeks and maybe.. are you in la now?” he asked, curiously.

“yeah i am”

“cool so maybe tomorrow or later this week we could meet up, and we’d probably be filming it so if that’s cool with you, you could tell us more like about what the forest is and then maybe like find time to schedule to go out there or something?”

“yeah we can meet up.” jennifer said ominously.

“okay cool, maybe tomorrow we’ll schedule a time then.” sam started to laugh from the awkwardness, and immediately after the phone call was over he threw the phone onto the table and freaked out. “why is it so awkward?” he cringed.

“everytime we talk to her.” colby chuckles.

they both start talking to the camera about their plans with the witches forest, and planning a whereabouts for the meetup.

a day had past, and sam, colby and jake were in the car, driving to the area where they were supposed to meet up with jennifer. colby had parked very close to another car in attempts to not be in the way of someones driveway. “can’t park in this driveway brother, gonna get a ticket.”

“can’t go to jail again.” sam laughs.

“we’re in a neighborhood, it’s not that sketchy.” sam commented, as they all start talking about how creepy this whole situation was, joking about getting murdered.

they walk into the park, and they look around until they see two people sitting at a park bench. “hey!” sam calls out, as he sees them. “nice to see you again!” he goes in for a hug with jennifer.

“how was the shoot and everything?” he asked.

“it was good.” she responded, nodding her head, before looking over to her friend, the guy next to her. jennifer didn’t really care about meeting up with strangers but elias, found it sketchy, so he decided to come along as some sort of backup.

“hey, i’m elias, good to meet you.” he shook hands with the person closest to him, colby.

“nice to meet you too.” colby smiled, curious about the guy infront of him. he looked pretty cool, his sense in fashion was definitely something out of a vintage movie. his hair was dark brown, about medium length. he had brown circle glasses pushed towards his nose, contrasting his freckled face.

from what he was wearing, you could see a few tattoos under his sleeves, along with a few different ear piercings. ‘damn this guy is cool’ he felt like some kind of fangirl.

as sam talked to jennifer, colby starting asking questions to the other. “are you also into the paranormal?”

“yeah. i grew up around it my entire life, and now it just seeks me out i guess.” he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “how’d you get into it?”

“that’s the same as one of my friends, corey.” he acknowledges. “honestly it’s not that exciting, me and my buddy sam would explore like abandoned places and stuff then it became haunted areas and now we think we’re haunted.”

“that’s cool.” suddenly jake climbs onto the picnic table, creating a thud sound. “jesus jake.” colby laughed.

“so do you guys chill at the park often?” jake tries to make conversation with the two.

“yeah.” they answer at the same time. the camera is held facing jennifer as she begins to explain why the cabin is haunted, and why it’s called the witches forest.

“you really have to figure it out yourself.” elias commented, chuckling.

“so you’ve been there too?” sam interrogates him.

“you could say that, i also own a cabin about a mile out.”

“would you say it’s haunted?”

“oh definitely, in 1946 a couple moved into the cabin and after a few years they started like experiencing financial issues, and it caused a lot of stress between them and eventually the husband started drinking, and one night he killed his pregnant wife before shooting himself in the head.” elias smirked, watching their jaws drop. “let’s just say i’m not legally able to rent it out anymore because of what happened to the last guests we had.”

“holy shit.” sam looked to the guys, with wide eyes.

“that’s actually insane.” colby said, rubbing his eye. “so do you live there or just use it as a vacation spot?”

“bit of both honestly, the spirits don’t bother me much. i was just there a few days ago and i stayed about three months, left with tons of scratches and stuff.” elias explained.

“do you still have visible marks?”

“yeah, the longest one is on my leg, i can show you if you like.” the guys nodded, so he stands up and props his leg on the park bench, before rolling up his black pants. quickly a red shiny scratch is visible. it starts at his ankle and goes underneath his thigh. “it’s one of the weirder marks i’ve gotten. it’s shiny and feels almost like a burn, like blistered over and stuff.”

“holy shit, that’s crazy.” jake muttered.

“i don’t know if we should do this anymore.” colby laughs, jokingly crying.

“so on a scale of one to ten, how is this a good idea or are we going to die.” sam wondered.

“let’s just say it’s scarier then the stanley hotel.” jennifer answered.

“is that the key?” jake zooms into colby holding the key to the cabin. colby pauses for a second, having an idea. “would you let us see your cabin?” he asks to elias.

“uhh, i don’t know, i would have to be there to supervise.” “not just because i don’t know you, but also for you’re protection. the spirits know me well, even the negative ones, they don’t like other people.”

“jesus.” colby mumbles. “is that why you can’t rent it out anymore.” he nods slowly.

“we have a friend out there that we met from the summer camp thing. a few of them are still there. elias can probably get in contact with one of them to help you out. since they’re both wiccans.”

“so you’re friend is a... wait you’re a wiccan?” sam asks towards elias, pointing the camera in his direction, receiving a half nod.

“after i became a medium it slowly transitioned into exploring witchcraft, i wouldn’t like 100% consider myself a wiccan but i do partake in that stuff.” he holds up his pagan necklace.

“wow, so does your friend live around the cabin?”

“yeah.”

“now i see why it’s called witches forest.” sam laughed hesitantly.

“so a lot of people there are wiccans i’m assuming?” colby asks, before receiving a nod. “witches forest, wiccans.” he does a weird voice to express how crazy this situation is.

“this is awesome, thank you so much for this, we would probably just of done another hotel video.” sam thanked her. “should we call corey?” he asks to the guys.

everyone begins to say goodbye, colby hugging jennifer and elias. “we’ll let you know how it goes.”

“but uh, i just wanted to say, i haven’t been there in awhile so be careful.” jennifer calls out to them.

jennifer and elias start walking back to their apartment. he glances towards the group they had just encountered. “they seem cool, colby’s pretty nice.”

“yeah i guess. i’m surprised you didn’t give them the key.”

“first, they’re strangers, second, they seem like novices, i don’t want their deaths to be on my hands.” elias joked.

“you could’ve gone with them.” she shrugs. elias pauses for a moment, thinking about it. maybe he should. they are trying to find the most haunted areas..

“i’ll think about it.”

it was early morning of the next day, and elias had been messaging with colby since he woke up talking about whether or not he should go up with them. colby has been trying to persuade him, borderline begging him to come. they think it would be awesome for the video and their paranormal experience.

and secretly colby just wants to get to know him as well.

the four boys were in their car, on the way to the first house, to talk to a wiccan who is offering a reading, and more information on the witches forest.

“i was thinking about what the physic said a lot last night, about how corey and i are in danger, and i think they could be right. i hope we have service because we’ve never been in this forest, who knows, like what if we get lost right? that’s why i think bringing elias, who knows the area could be helpful.”

“honestly yeah, and he seems like a cool dude so.” jake shrugs, agreeing with the idea. corey then calls and agrees to come, making everyone so much more relieved.

“let’s just act like we’re going to a cabin in the woods.” corey says, trying to lighten the mood as he gets into the car.

they keep on driving, about twenty minutes out, pulling over only to get jake some food because he kept complaining about being hungry. they pull into a burger king, and grab some food. colby suggests sitting at a table so he can fill both corey and the viewers in about elias and the other wiccan.

“just to catch everyone up, we got some food and we are ten minutes away from the forest!” sam starts it off.

“i’ve been texting with both this wiccan and elias, who agreed on meeting us, but they want to meet us at her house. she was just like ‘yeah swing by, and i’ll show you my tarot cards and stuff.’”

“well, let’s hope we don’t die.”

they walk out to the parking lot, and talk a bit more, explaining to corey. “me, colby, and jake met up with jennifer and this new guy, elias, so the reason why he’s texting to this random wiccan is because they’re friends, them two would meet up with her at summer camp, and she’s going to tell us about the area.” sam said.

as they start driving, they encounter the fog of the mountains, and they struggle to see out the window.

“yeah, elias is going to be with the wiccan, so atleast it’s not like we’re by ourselves with a complete stranger.” colby mentioned.

“well we don’t really know him either.”

“better then completely alone though.” he shrugged, continuing to drive until google maps said he was at the correct address.

“so what have they told you?” sam asked.

“nothing really, just gave us the address and said see you then.” colby explained, shutting the car door. they walked up to the door, not even having to knock before someone opened the door. “hey colby!” elias said, arm on the door.

“yoo hey.” colby gave a hug before smiling. “thanks for taking up our offer on this, having you here and talk about some of the stuff is super great for the video.”

colby felt nervous, seeing elias stand confidentially at the door, he looked more relaxed today, grey sweatpants, black hoodie and his usual brown glasses. you can tell he wasn’t planning on coming.

in the light, it was much easier to see his face. he also realized elias’ hair was slightly curly.

“yeah it’s no problem.” elias said as the other wiccan presented herself. “good to see you again.”

“hey, how are you guys?” she asked. “wanna come in? if you don’t mind i’ll have to sage you though.”

“yeah it’s no problem.”

after the boys were saged, they sat around the table and began to talk about the witches forest. “so why is it called witches forest?” sam asked, getting down to business.

“there’s a lot of rituals that go on in this area, it used to be a spot with mobsters, there’s a lot of satanic rituals, which aren’t as bad or evil as you would think.” elias nods along, agreeing with her.

“so you guys would consider yourselves wiccans in the way that you both study witchcraft.

“yes, i identify as a wiccan, but i feel like it has a different perception of what you would think.”

“okay so can you explain that to us.” sam asked.

“i like to live my life by the moon cycles, so full moon would be a time of like creativity and energy, where as new moon is more introspective and..” she trails off as the door opens for the second time.

“we’re trying to spend the night here, in the forest. do you think that’s a good idea or bad idea?”

elias grimances, shaking his head.

“what’s that supposed to mean?!” corey fake cries.

“a lot of people have died up there.. not recently so i don’t think you’ll die.” she says positively. “if you want we can do a little tarot reading.” she suggests, waving over elias to help her with it.

“tarot reading?” colby repeats asking for clarification.

“tarot cards really tell you what you’re feeling subconsciously, and they help give insight into the past, your future, or the present. and basically however you relate to the card, it tells you what’s going on with your inner-self or stuff you may be doing.” he explains, before sageing the cards.

“this basically helps to detach anything thats holding onto the cards, so for example, the past readings she’s done, it’s possible that those readings could effect yours. so when i sage the cards, it clears anything on them.” he hands over the cards to colby, who passes them to sam, to jake and then to corey, to get their presence onto the cards.

she takes the cards and sets them onto the table. a few gasps come from the guys after seeing the death card, “none of these are bad, so don’t be afraid.”

“the tower is an iffy card in my opinion, so it means danger and destruction, it’s basically like a very sudden unforeseen change, which means you have to rebuild. it can lead to the next chapter of your life. so it starts out negative and eventually it leads to rebuilding which is positive.” elias explains.

“yeah and chaos isn’t always a bad thing, which relates to the death card.” she taps onto it.

“the next chapter of my life is death?” sam asked.

“no.” elias answered shortly. “the death card will almost never mean death or represent anything like that. it’s typically more like the end of an era, so it implies new beginnings. it also is commonly known as the card that describes self awareness.” he was briefly interrupted by a bang upstairs.

“this card is all about fear and anxiety.” she points out. “but not a real fear, more like you’re worrying about something too much. like it’s in your head, like when you can’t sleep and you’re terrified but it’s not something that you should be worrying about. it’s more like you’re imagining something, like making up a problem.”

“like making conspiracy theories about yourself.” jake adds in, earning weird looks from colby and sam.

“just being scared of something that isn’t that big of a deal, like you’re more afraid then you need to be.” elias adds.

“that’s basically our group.” sam comments.

they talked more about the different chapters of their life, corey refusing to do more tarot. she gave more advice on how to keep the guys safe at their campsite, like taking the sage, having a ring of salt and holding hands.

elias watches as they huddle into the corner of the room and talk about some of their plans together. “honestly guys, i don’t know if i can do this.” corey admits. “this shit is crazy, we don’t need more spirits trapped with us.”

“i think we just have to hurry up because it’s a few hours from sundown, and we don’t know the area too well, i don’t want us to get lost.” sam comments.

“do you think we should invite elias?” colby asked.

“brother, now why would we do that.” corey said, shaking his head.

“he knows the area, and i think he would be awesome for content, he can tell us more stories, we can get to know him and maybe do more ghost stuff with him in the future.”

“i’m down.” jake shrugs.

“we don’t know him very well, but i do think he’d be beneficial for this.” sam doesn’t seem to care that much.

“okay well i won’t invite him if you guy’s arent sure.” they all to look corey.

“fine, but i swear to god if he murders us, i’m going to murder you again.”

“okay awesome!” colby walks away from the guys and up to elias. “i was wondering if you wanted to come with us, like to our campsite.”

“oh. uhh, i mean i guess i could hang for a bit, but it would probably be weird to stay the night with you guys. my cabin isn’t too far away in the forest so i’ll go back there once you guys are settled in.”

“we’d be chill if you wanted to stay the night in a tent beside us or something, but it’s cool if not.”

“i’ll figure it out later.” he shrugs, and follows the guys to the car. elias sits in the passenger seat, sam giving it up to sit in the back, so he didn’t have to sit squished next to strangers.

they began to drive in the direction of witches forest, taking a right turn onto a gravel road.

“so where do you suggest us staying the night exactly?”

“well i would say definitely be near one of the main roads, so you’re near your car, but as in area, if you keep going down here, there’s some pretty flat ground with trees surrounding it.” elias points in the right direction.

they pull into a blank area, and start gathering their stuff. “just down this way.” he leads, while helping carrying one of their bags.

“awesome, thank you.” sam thanks him, actually kind of surprised how much this stranger was helping them.

“do you need help setting up your tent, or?” he wondered.

“uhh..” jake mumbled, knowing he’s never put up a tent in his life.

“that is a possibility.” sam chuckles. ”so like, did you group up in california or elsewhere?” he took what colby said earlier, about getting to know him, and ran with it.

“oh uh, no i grew up in a small town out of seattle, but i moved to la when i was 17.” elias answered, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“oh cool. why’d you leave seattle?” jake asked.

“just bad memories i guess.” he took a deep breath. “the house i grew up in.. my brother he died there when i was 6. his death brought me into the paranormal world.”

“oh, i’m sorry for your loss.” colby commented, beginning to build the tent.

“don’t be.” elias laughed it off. “it was a pretty natural death, he was born with heart complications, honestly a miracle he lived till 14. he was very positive and i’m sure he wouldn’t want people mourning, so i choose not to i guess.”

“that’s a good way to look at it.” colby smiled at the other. colby took a liking to him, he wasn’t sure why though but it felt like something was pushing him to get to know him.

“so you said you’re a medium?” corey asked, helping colby with the tent.

“yeah, the thing with my brother, it guided me to other spirits and i just kind of fell into it all. i feel things more the most people, i hear more, i sense more.” he paused. “i don’t feel any presences here but i feel sadness and regret.”

“that’s honestly really cool, so to become a medium does it need to be something that happens to you or can you like learn and study to become one?” colby asked, setting up the camera on a camping chair, pointed to elias.

“in my opinion it has to come to you, you can’t work for it. if you are gifted with the ability you can learn and study to enhance it but you can’t force it.”

“the tent’s looking good.” corey nodded towards it. “but i swear to god i don’t want to sleep here.” he begs, making everyone laugh.

once everything was set up, and looking good, elias decided to leave. “i’ll probably head up to the cabin.” he says, rubbing the back of his neck.

“yo, you sure?” jake asks, actually wanting him to stay. in the past few hours they’ve all been vibing pretty hard.

“yeah no pressure to leave.” colby said, giving him a smile.

“i don’t wanna intrude too much on your video or anything, but feel free to come to the cabin if you have any problems or something crazy happens. can’t promise staying at the cabin will be any better but still. i have wifi, hot water, beds, all that stuff so don’t be shy.” elias smiled back.

“alright, thank you.” sam nodded.

“make sure to say goodbye before you leave though!” elias called out, as he walked away.

“bye!” colby shouted.

“cya!” jake yelled.

“dude, you’re staring.” corey pointed out, laughing at his friend. colby turned to look at him, before rolling his eyes.

“shut up, i just think he’s cool.”

corey winked to sam and jake, them chuckling to eachother.

it was hours later, maybe 3 or 4, and elias was in his cabin, drinking a glass of wine, while reading one of the books from the old bookshelf. his days here were simple. he’d tend to the plants, garden, read some books and drink wine. he wish he had a more extroverted life, and would sometimes regret missing out on opportunities. such as hanging out with the guys back at the campsite.

he wondered why he didn’t just stay, when they were clearly okay with him there, but he was still unfortunately a stranger. they were okay with him there, but they didn’t want him there.

‘god i need friends’, he thought. he’s been so lonely, his only friend being jennifer, and they weren’t all that close anymore since he’s started studying witchcraft. elias has only had a few friends in his lifetime, people thinking he’s weird or abnormal for his interests and gifts, and he’s only been in one relationship which ended around 6 months.

he honestly hasn’t felt that interested in people, elias finds them too generic, but he did take interest in the group. no matter how goofy they all seemed, they were cool. especially colby, he seemed to care the most. and he was kinda cute so that’s a plus. but he was probably straight.

he paused, hearing a bang upstairs, before sighing. his only friends are the spirits of the forest. he took his glasses off and gave them a rub, as they got a bit foggy.

‘maybe a bath will ease my mind’ as he began to run a bath he heard a scream for help. his eyes widened at the voice, that was definitely colby.

“help!” it was a gut-retching scream. elias turned off the bath, and as he was running to the front door, he turned the outside lights on, immediately lighting up the area.

“colby?!” he called out, opening the door.

“elias?!” suddenly, he came into view. “holy fuck, thank god.” he sighed, relieved. he rushed to the door.

“what the hell happened out there? where is everyone?”

“i-i i got lost, i don’t know where i am, i was chasing after a shadow and i thought sam and jake were after me but i went in circles and i walked for so long it’s been like 15 minutes and i don’t know where they are.”

“woah, colby are you hurt?” elias reaches out to the others side, seeing a few smaller scratches. he gently touches them, earning a hiss out of colby.

“ouch.” he chuckles. “anyways, i really need help finding them, i don’t know what the fuck happened.”

“you said you saw a shadow figure? was it just a shadow or were there any visible descriptions?”

“just a shadow.” he shrugs, shivering a bit.

“theres been a few people spotting shadows around here, a lot of people think one of the main shadows, it’s of a larger male and it’s predicted that it’s the spirit of the husband i told you guys about earlier, and that he’s stuck in this forest as punishment.”

“jesus.” colby exhales.

“here, come in for a second, i’ll get you a heavier jacket and i’ll get a bandage for your side.”

“oh, thank you so much.” colby rubs his neck, awkwardly standing in the others home. “this cabin is actually beautiful.” he said, not expecting it.

“haha yeah, i take pride in it. nobody ever is here to see how gorgeous the wood and plants are.”

“oh why’s that?”

“i just don’t have many friends.” elias said, while grabbing a few items. “gets lonely up here.”

“hey well, you can consider us friends, i think you’re cool as hell.” colby smiles, taking the jacket, and putting it over his shoulder. “it would be awesome to have you come with us to other haunted places.”

“i-” elias was about to decline, before he thought for a minute. he knew he would regret declining. “sure, why not.” he gestured for colby to move his arm so he could wrap his side.

“that should do it.” he gave him a pat on the shoulder. “now, we really have to get you back to your friends, they’re probably freaking out.”

“yeah.” colby agreed, rubbing his side.

“do you mind if i spend the night with you guys? i have a feeling.. like i can feel something bad in your future, and i don’t think it’s safe for you guys alone.”

“oh god..” colby sighed, not ready for whatever he’s talking about. elias grabbed a few more things, and shoved it into a backpack. “it would be appreciated if you stayed with us.” he laughed it off, pretending he didn’t care too much, but he actually felt pretty nervous about the idea.

he’s never really found guys that attractive or anything but something about elias, it wasn’t even his looks, something about his personality or dare he say ‘spirit’ was alluring. colby just needed to know more, needed to get close to him.

“okay, let’s go.” he said, turning off the house lights, and turning on his flashlight.

they walked through the forest, trying to avoid all of the unnerving noises they heard. “thank you.” elias said quietly.

“what? why?”

“because, today has been the most social interaction i’ve had in awhile.” he chuckled. they continued to walk in peaceful silence, colby instinctively walking closer to elias. they smiled to eachother, elias having to look away and blush out of sight. ‘jesus, what is happening to me.’

they walked a bit more, and finally began to see bright lantern lights, similar to colby’s. “guys!” he shouted.

“no way, colby!” corey shouted, running straight to him out of relief.

“guys!”

“holy shit it’s colby!”

“colby!”

“what the fuck happened to you.” sam shook his head. they all looked closer and saw another person. as they got closer they realized it was elias.

“holy shit.” corey exclaimed.

“are you okay bro?” jake asked.

“the shadow person, i kept chasing it, i saw it again. it ran so i ran after it, i ended up going in circles and i got lost so i started screaming for help and i saw a cabin, thank god it was elias’.

“did you hear the scream? it was like a female scream.” sam explained.

colby went to sit in a chair, his side aching. “no i didn’t, i scratched my side though.” he lifted his shirt to show the bandage.

“dude, me and jake saw like a baby or something small hung.” sam said.

“bro, i looked at it, and my first thought was that it was a baby hanging, it was swaying and everything.”

“wait.. you said you saw a baby hanging?” elias looked at them in pure shock. “holy fuck.. you saw her.” he mumbled.

“what?” sam asked, eyes wide.

“what the fuck is going on.” corey shouted.

“the.. the story i told you guys, about the husband killing his pregnant wife. a few people i rented the cabin out to, they would see shadows of a hanging dead baby outside the windows.”

“holy fuck!” corey screamed, jumping before walking a few steps away.

“that is fucking crazy.” jake exclaimed, holding onto his head.

“i can’t believe this.” sam held the camera, beginning to shake. “okay, a rule, we can’t separate again.”

they began to talk about what the shadow could’ve been, talking about the biker kids they had seen earlier in the day.

“it definitely was not a biker, you would’ve heard it a mile away, and nobody just goes for a walk in the middle of the night.” elias shakes his head in disbelief at the situation.

“i’m not staying out here any longer.” jake says, running into the tent. everyone else begins to pack away their stuff, making sure that if they got scared again, they could leave without having to worry about their scattered belongings.

sam pulls out the camera once everything is put away, and gives the viewers a quick update. “just a little update guys, we did clean up our entire campsite, and now we’re going to chill in here for a little bit, because we don’t know what’s out here.” he gestures inside the tent.

“is it alright if i stay here? i don’t feel like walking back to the cabin.” he asks.

“oh yeah of course.” sam practically invites him in. “you’ll just have to deal with our gross selves.”

“i think i’ll be fine, i was a babysitter for 3 years of my life.” he joked, earning laughs from everyone.

a small fight ensues about sleeping bags with the guys, and elias sits off to the side of the tent, not wanting to get too close and make anyone uncomfortable. he watches as colby pokes around at corey’s pocket.

“brotherrrr, scared the fuck outta me.” corey cries out. “it’s either colby hitting on me again or a ghost.” elias laughed at that.

“i like to use shrek’s belly as a pillow.” jake mumbles, away from the drama.

a few minutes go by, and bugs in the tent frighten elias, while sam and colby start swatting at them before jake and corey talk about the white people face. elias, guilty of making that face more then once tonight.

the rest of the night was filled with fivesome jokes, jake playing with shrek into the camera, dance parties, sam touching more spiders in the tent, and colby trying to rest his eyes.

he originally laid near corey, between him and elias. he was resting on the end of his sleeping bag, feeling exhausted with the night so far. after another bug was squashed, they placed the camera back in the center of everyone.

elias was the closest to the camera, slightly out of frame, colby close by, corey leaning to the front, jake beside him, and sam on the other side also out of frame. “who keeps farting?” colby asked jokingly annoyed.

“yo what is that smell bro.” colby started cringing, holding his nose, causing everyone to laugh, corey the most.

“who farted dude?” jake commented about the smell looking towards sam.

“i don’t smell anything.” he shrugged carelessly, elias agreeing with him.

“yeah cause it was you!”

“someone ripped ass, and it was me two minutes ago.” corey revealed, laughing like a madman.

“my face was right by your asshole!” colby shouted, making a disgusted face to the camera before slowly shuffling away from the guy, and closer to elias. he dramatically collapsed onto elias’ leg and begged him not to do the same.

colby found his leg oddly comfortable, holding onto it like a pillow. he didn’t want to get too over the top and make elias uncomfortable, so tried to stay away from the boys lap.

then, it was back to jake putting shrek up to the camera, pretending to ring an imaginary doorbell.

“look guys, stop recording if we’re actually going to fuck.” corey pulled his sleeping bag over his face.

“yeah i don’t wanna be on camera.” elias said, holding his hands up, making everyone snicker. it was kind of awesome how they could go from complete strangers, thinking eachother was creepy, to then making jokes like this.

speaking of jokes, everyone made comments about colby and how he was sleeping all cuddly on the other, and god was it unbearable.

it was awkward, and uncomfortable but oddly enough, the friendly teasing felt better then being alone, so he dealt with it, and listened to corey’s little story about the boys and the shadowman.

suddenly, noises started getting louder. exhales, footsteps, bangings. corey felt uncomfortable, and kept demanding to leave the tent. everyone paused, trying to listen to the surrounding sounds, sam hearing a car, and elias hearing thuds.

“yo, should we just try to go to sleep?” colby asked, genuinely really tired.

“uh, no.” corey answered like it was obvious

elias felt the need to interrupt. “listen, the noises are obviously scary and whatever, but you need to understand that you guys are overthinking. think back to the tarot cards. you are scaring yourselves.” he tried to explain, as a way to calm them down.

it definitely didn’t work, corey hearing another exhale, and telling everyone to get out of the tent as a safety precaution.

eventually everyone began to rush out of the tent, into darkness, sam screaming for someone to get a light. elias put on his glasses, and grabbed a flashlight, pointing it around the camp.

he heard rustling coming from a near bush and started walking up to it, he peeked around trying to find what the noise could’ve been. “elias, hurry up!” sam called, as everyone began running to the car.

he caught up to them, not caring anymore and jumping in the back with jake and corey. “holy fuck.” he exhaled. “where are we going?”

“jennifer’s cabin.” corey replied, nodding at the idea.

sam’s phone started to ring as colby was driving on a tight road. “yo, yo, look!” he answered the call, everyone hearing absolute gibberish. it was random noises, deep exhales and other strange noises.

“that sounds like someone fucking with us.” colby stated, as sam talked about telling all his friends he was coming here.

“holy shit, i don’t think it’s someone pranking you guys.” elias stared, wide eyed at his phone before holding it up so everyone could see.

“fuck.” jake muttered. “answer! answer!”

elias answered the call, putting it on speaker phone. the sounds coming from his call was much different from sam’s. these, sounded like chants, as if a huge group of people were shouting into the phone, cursing the boy. “guys, what the fuck is this.” he had experienced everything, but never has he gotten no caller id calls, with scary ass chants. “are you fucking with me right now?” he asked the group, tears welling in his eyes.

“no! no! of course not!” colby assured him. “we don’t do shit like that.”

he pulled into the driveway of jennifer’s cabin, immediately opening the doors and seeing the pouring rain. at the door, jake started shaking the water off of him, complaining about being wet.

quickly, elias could see sam was struggling. he was digging through his bag trying to find the key. he was beginning to panic, and everyone was starting to realize.

“wait you don’t have the key?” corey questioned, getting nervous. “sam.” he sighed.

“was it in your pockets or the backpack?” colby asked.

“when do you remember last having it?” jake watched as sam patted his pockets.

“n-no i had it today, i showed the girl that jennifer gave me the key.” he defended. “here, just check the car, i swear, i have it.”

“really try to remember, did you put it in your bag or your pockets?” colby kept pushing.

sam frantically looked around the car as the others judged him, complaining and blaming him for losing the key. “hey honestly sam, don’t worry about it, it’s just a mistake.” elias tried to reassure him everything was fine, only for corey to say something.

“i thought.. it’s either here or in the backpack.. unless is it in our bags? should we check the trunk?” everyone was freaking out, and elias stood there awkwardly watching. he felt bad for sam.. he could feel the sadness and guilt dripping off of him.

“we need this key. we can’t get in. dude jennifer trusted us with this key, you can’t-”

“is this the only key?” “sam, are you fucking serious, dude. i’m not trying to be rude, but first you lowkey lost colby, and now you don’t have the key. i’m just saying, this is why i don’t like doing this type of shit.” corey raised his voice.

jake and corey agreed they didn’t want to go back to the tent, as colby kept filming. elias took a breath before saying excuse me and pulling sam to the side.

sam looked confused, but his guilt was overtaking it. “what?” he looked at the other, wondering why he dragged him a few feet away.

“dude, don’t listen to them, losing the key, like i said is a simple mistake, any of them could have done it, they’re not upset at you, they’re just upset at the cirumstances. but you’re forgetting i have a place just a few minutes away.” elias tried calming him down, seeing tears well in his eyes. he could tell sam wasn’t one that could deal with being yelled at.

“it’s not anything big, it’s a two bedroom with a pull out couch.” elias shrugged. “please just accept my offer, alright?” sam nodded, wiping any sort of water away from his eyes.

“thank you elias, really.” sam suddenly grabbed onto him, giving him a side hug.

“no worries.” he smiled, leading him back to the car, before they explained the plan to the others. everyone could see the disappointment in sam’s eyes, as he sat quiet in the passenger seat.

jake whispered to elias, about what happened out there, him shaking it off as to say it was private. he guides colby down the different roads, and in a few minutes they were outside his cabin.

“here we are!” he welcomes them inside, turning all the lights on.

“shit this is nice.” corey nodded, jumping onto the couch.

“woah woah, take your dirty ass boots off.” elias joked, watching as he threw them off in the direction of the door.

“thank you so much for having us here.” sam smiled, setting his bag down.

“really, don’t worry about it, i’m glad you’re here and not outside.” elias took their stuff and organized it by the doors. “okay so, there’s two bedrooms, you guys can take those if you want, i don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”

“hell no.” colby laughed, refusing to have him give up his own room in his own house.

“mkay whatever, someone can sleep in my room with me i guess, because trust me the couch is very uncomfortable to sleep on. plus the rooms are much safer. the living room is the scariest, you’ll hear the most shit out here.” he chuckled. “you guys can look around if you want, also feel free to eat anything you find, and use the wifi, passwords on the fridge.” he yawned. “i’m going the fuck to bed.”

the guys chuckled, taking him up on that offer.

for over half an hour, they decided to eat some of the snacks in his fridge, and taking crackers from the pantry. “god i was so hungry.” jake moaned into the leftover burger he was eating.

“okay guys, take it easy, we aren’t trying to raid their food.” colby snickered, watching as his friends ate like hungry rats.

“yeah good point.” sam took a handful of crackers and put the box back. “should we talk about sleeping arrangements?”

“there’s no fucking way i’m sleeping on the couch or anywhere in the living room after what he said.” corey stated, heading into the direction of the guest bedroom.

“yeahh, me neither.” jake followed after him.

“so.” colby shrugged. “do you care where you’re sleeping tonight?”

“not really, i’ve gotten to know elias pretty well so it doesn’t really matter to me.” the brunette squints at him.

“what did you guy’s talk about?” he questions.

“honestly, when he pulled me aside i was shocked. he like saw how overstimulated i was with the whole situation and he completely calmed me down, comforted me and everything.” he threw his arms as he was talking.

“yeah, i’m sorry about that, we were all just frustrated about the key.”

“don’t worry about it.” sam smiled. “are you and elias getting close? you were like all over him, sleeping back at the tent.” he was genuinely curious, considering he hasn’t seen his friend like this in awhile.

colby paused, thinking about everything that’s happened tonight. “honestly... i don’t know, it’s been really weird for me. i’m so confused with what im feeling.” he shook his head, so unsure.

“hm, i’ll go sleep with corey and jake.” they both nodded to that. “goodnight colby!” sam called out, walking in the same direction as the others did.

colby slowly approached elias’ room, pushing open the door gently. both bedside table lights were on, followed by a few candles around the room. he could see that the other boy was still awake. “oh hey.” he put down his book.

“hey elias. thought you were going to bed?”

“i was, heard some loud munchers in my kitchen though.” he giggled, as colby apologized. “no, honestly it’s okay, i was actually surprised how fast you guys decided to come to bed.”

elias yawned once more, stretching his arms out on the bed. “i can either sleep on the floor, make a little bed and shit, or if you’re cool i’ll just stay on the right of the bed.”

“literally don’t worry about it, not the first time i’m sleeping with a dude-” he paused, cutting himself off. “god that sounded bad.” he laughed, blushing with embarrassment.

“wouldn’t be my first time either.” elias smirked, blowing a fake kiss before wheezing at their dumb jokes.

colby moved closer, setting his personal backpack down and folding his jacket on the table. he shuffled towards the bed, and sat ontop of it. “i have no idea if i’m going to sleep tonight.” he sighed.

“that’s fair. it’s crazy out here. if you want we can just stay up and talk for awhile?”

“actually.. that would be nice.” colby rubbed the back of his neck. in was silent for a few seconds, him getting comfortable under the covers. “so..”

“how did you like the witches forest? scary enough for you guys?” the other asked, trying to start a good conversation.

“oh definitely one of the scariest places we’ve been to, like with the history of it and everything.”

“what other places have you been to?”

“uhh the stanley hotel, the biltmore, queen mary, cobb estate, griffin park, and we’ve explored so many creepy places, like morgues and abandoned hospitals.” colby explained.

“geez, no wonder you guys are haunted.” he laughs.

“do you think we are? we joke about it but im genuinely curious if we are.”

elias thinks for a minute. “i don’t think you’re haunted. however, i can sense something with you. with you and corey. whatever is following you, is completely different then what is attached to corey. notice the different in words.” he points out. “i think you have gotten yourself into many negative situations, not just paranormal.” “would you consider yourself lonely, or sad?”

colby exhaled shakily. “yes, sometimes.”

“spirits love following people that are lonely, they find them to be like easy prey, vulnerable.” he emphasizes the last word. elias closes his eyes, really focusing on colby’s presence. “i think the spirit that is with you is also lonely. they are following along with you, because you are feeding into it, giving it attention. and that’s fine, but if you don’t want it with you, you have to make it clear.”

“is it friendly?” he asked.

“yes. it’s friendly. i can’t tell you where you picked this spirit up, but it’s positive, and enjoys your company. it will not hurt you-” he stops, feeling something float by him. “it will not hurt you, it doesn’t want to, that’s not it’s intent. infact, it wants to protect you. noises you might hear, when you go to a haunted area, it very well could be this spirit trying to assert dominance with other ones.”

“holy.” colby tried to calm his breathing. “this is crazy. as long as it’s friendly, then i welcome it.” “so, do you think corey’s ghost is like bad?”

“i wouldn’t say bad, but when i was sitting near him earlier, it isn’t as friendly as yours. it likes the fear that comes with scaring him, i’d even go as far as, it wants to scare him more, it wants to up it. and with that spirit challenging him, i am nervous for his health both physically and mentally.”

“jesus, i have to tell him that in the morning, he’ll probably freak.” he sighed. “it’s so cool how you can like sense this stuff, does it ever get overwhelming?”

“allll the time.” elias chuckles. “sometimes i can just be in a library back in la, and i’ll feel like some version of spirits and like all these weird emotions, and i have to leave.”

“wow i’m sorry that comes with such an amazing gift.”

“it’s okay, i feel at peace with it now. i think my brothers with me, helping me deal with it all. i think he realizes how alone i am, and has decided to follow me.” he laughs at himself. “sorry, sorry, let’s talk about something more fun.”

colby laughed along. “so do you have a girlfriend?” he wondered, making elias pause and blush lightly.

“no, i’m single.” “goes along with the loneliness, if you feel me.” he chuckled. “you?”

“same, it’s hard to date now that sam and i’s channel has blown up. a lot of people have tried to use me for like clout and stuff.” the other frowned at that, apologizing for his past experiences. “no, no it’s okay, i just hope i’ll find someone soon, i do feel you, it gets so lonely.” he fake cries.

elias sips his glass of wine, offering some to colby. “i’m a vodka and rum kinda guy.”

and soon enough, the boys were drinking, gossiping to each other about absolutely everything. colby was a very talkative drunk it seemed. he was blabbing about his friends, girls, ghosts, anything. “so like, are you gay?” he asked.

elias spat out his wine back into the glass before turning to colby. “uh wow..” he rubbed the back of his neck. “where did that come from?”

“i-i don’t know.” colby admitted, trying to hide himself with the blanket. he really didn’t know why he asked, his weird confused feelings mixed with being drunk just made him ask, he was so curious.

“i’m bisexual.. how’d you know i was into men?”

“i.. i didn’t.” colby mumbled into the blanket. he felt himself shaking, so nervous and anxious. he took a deep breath and exhaled aggressively before jolting up and looking right at elias. “i didn’t know you liked men but i think i do.” he rushed it out.

“i’ve never felt anything for a guy before so i’m pretty freaked out right now and-d confused but i think i like you.” he rubs his eyes, embarrassed and uh pretty drunk.

“wait really?” he paused for a moment. ‘holy shit’ he thought. he never would have expected this, he just thought colby loved being physical with his friends from all the touches earlier in the night.

seeing that his confusing feelings were being reciprocated, it made elias the happiest he’s been in awhile. “dude, i feel the same way.”

colby stopped, completely still. both boys were completely shocked at each others confessions.

“like i feel like i’ve known you for awhile.” elias commented.

“same.” he tried to think of what to say next, where to go from here.

“hey.” the other touched his arm. “don’t get too nervous about this whole situation, we have plenty of time to get to know eachother, plenty of time for you to figure out everything you’re going through.” “don’t feel pressured into anything.”

colby thought for a few minutes. “thank you, i appreciate it.” “it’s.. it’s so weird feeling like this. ever since i was younger i’ve been so convinced that i’m straight, and now i’m getting all these feelings for you and it’s honestly making me scared. what if i do like you? does that mean i have to come out? tell my friends, family and viewers? what if i don’t and this is just a mistake?”

“you can.. or we can figure it out one step at a time.” elias smiled. “and by the way, never feel pressured to come out, it’s a personal and heavy thing to do.”

he shivered, tears threatening to spill. it was such a vulnerable moment for him. elias reached out to the boy, offering a hug.

they shared a tight hug, elias rubbing his back out of comfort.

their moment was interrupted by an incredibly loud bang, and three loud screams from the guys in the other room. “colby!” one of them shouted.

they pulled apart from their hug, just as the three barged into their room. “did you fucking hear that, bro?!” sam questioned, before looking at the people in front of him. he acknowledged how close they were, the slight tears in colby’s eyes,how intimate the room lighting was, the wine, the white rum..

oh fuck, they just interrupted a moment.

the other two didn’t notice, too scared of the noises they’ve been hearing all night. “that was the loudest one yet!” jake announced.

“i’m not going back in there.” corey whined.

“we’ve been hearing shit over there, what about you?” sam asked, before mouthing a sorry to the two sitting in bed. elias smiled at the gesture, before trying to wipe off his smirk.

“nope.” colby shook his head, his eyes less red then a few minutes ago.

“it’s safer in here.” corey stated, setting down the pillow he brought from the other room, and curling into a ball onto the floor, making elias laugh.

“are we having a sleepover?” he asked.

“oh, fucking totally.” jake snickered, running back to the other room and grabbing every blanket and pillow he could.

sam made a gesture with his finger, calling over colby. he noticed and walked to the bathroom with him.

“uh, hey, sorry about that, we didn’t mean to interrupt you guys.”

“interrupt? you uh didn’t interrupt anything we were just talking.”

sam made a face, before nodding. it was his business, so when he wanted to tell him, he would, so he left it alone. “alright.. you ready for this sleepover?” he smiled.

“fuckkk yeahh.”

it had been over an hour, everyone was dead asleep, corey snoring. elias was the only one awake, he was too in thought to sleep. he watched over colby, who was laying right infront of him on the floor with the rest of the guys. they were each laying on both bed mattresses, covered in blankets, basically in a line.

he had been debating to put an arm around colby, but.. if they woke up like that he could expose colby to the rest of his friends, or atleast cause him to get teased.

after a bit, he decided to shuffle his left arm under colby, so it was less noticeable. he held the boy, smiling, before finally falling asleep.

he didn’t know this, but colby was awake the entire time, smiling, wondering what the frick he was gonna do about this goofy medium he found himself possibly falling in love with...

#colby brock #colbybrock #colby brock x oc #colby brock x reader #sam and colby #samandcolby #jake webber #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fanfiction #corey scherer #sam golbach #colby brock x male reader #colby brock x male #maleoc #anticipatecrime

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purplegrapevines · 7 months

Text

I Can Take It

Pairing: sub!Vi x fem!dom!reader

Content: smut, rough sex, overstimulation

Word count: 1.6k

Vi's fingers combed through your hair as she gently kissed your lips. You allow her tongue to explore your mouth as she has you pinned against the wall.

Vi pushes you onto the bed and climbs on top of you. God, she’s so hot. She pulls your shirt off, as she continues to make out with you.

You wrap your arms around her neck and pull her even closer, and you tug her shirt off as well. Your eyes trail down as you admire her incredibly defined abs, her breathing moving them slightly.

“Vi, I want to try something new today,” you say.

“What is it, baby?” Vi asks, looking at you attentively, as she runs her fingers through your hair again.

“Wanna fuck you."

Vi’s eyes widen for a second, and she looks a bit surprised. But then a teasing smile blooms on her face and she chuckles.

“You think you can fuck me, baby? Remember what happened the last time you tried that?” You remember. The last time you tried, she managed to take over again, and then she fucked you until you cried.

You’ve made her cum in various ways, but you’ve never actually fucked her before.

“I can do it,” you reply confidently, “and I have a surprise.” Vi looks intrigued.

“What is it, Cupcake?” she asks. You reach under the bed and pull out a box. Vi watches as you open it to reveal a medium-sized black strap-on.

“What? You wanna be fucked by this one, too?” Vi asks you.

You shake your head, “No, silly, it's for you.” You boop her nose. Vi laughs when she hears your plans for the strap.

“Huh? You’re serious? You’re gonna fuck me with a strap?” Vi chuckles, “I’d like to see how long that lasts, baby.”

“I’ll last, trust me this time,” you say. Vi smirks.

“Prove it,” Vi responds.

“Seriously? No more convincing?”

“Cupcake, I know you’re not actually gonna do it. You’ll give up before the tip is even in, and then you’ll beg me to fuck you.”

“I won’t!” you protest.

“Let’s see for ourselves, then, shall we? Give it a go, baby,” Vi challenges. You keep your serious expression on as you unbutton her pants. Vi doesn’t know what’s in store for her.

You pull her pants off and throw them on the floor. You reach for her underwear next, and you look up at her, silently asking for her permission. Vi nods.

“I’m gonna fuck that stupid smirk off your face,” you say, slowly dragging her underwear down her legs. Vi stretched and puts her arms behind her head, resting like she's on the beach.

You remove your clothes, following by attaching the strap to your waist.

"Give me the lube," you tell Vi. She reaches behind her and hands it to you, still seeming confident that you won't actually fuck her.

You squirt some of it onto your fingers.

"Lift your knees for me, baby," you tell her, and Vi complies. Her dripping pussy is on display, and you reach for it with your lubed up fingers.

With any verbal warning, you push your middle finger inside her hole. Vi's breath hitches.

You thrust it in and out a few times before you slowly add in another finger. You had never done this to Vi before. It felt... different. It felt good.

You thrust and spread her out with your fingers. Your fingers curl and Vi suddenly moans. In slight surprise, you avert your gaze to her face, and you see her face the same color as her hair as she hides it behind her hands.

You quickly grab them with your free hand and pin them to the bed.

"Don't hide your face from me," you tell her, "Be good." Vi nods. Her smirk was definitely gone by now. A bead of sweat drips down her flushed face.

You laugh, "I didn't even use the strap yet, and you already look like this." Vi blushes more and she looks embarrassed.

"Are you... actually planning on fucking me?" Vi asks.

"Yes. Do you not want it?"

"No, I do! I can take it. Easily." Vi says. You roll your eyes, she's back to her usual cockiness. But you see right through her. You can tell she's a bit nervous.

"Then you won't mind if I... do this." You thrust a third finger inside her, stretching her hole out more. Vi moaned loudly in pain and pleasure.

You start to move your fingers even faster, curling them to hit that one spot in her that makes her see stars.

“Oh, fuck…” Vi moans. Vi tries to squirm away from you to get away from the overwhelming pleasure, but you hold her down with your free arm.

"No. You can take it. “Remember what you said?” you say, increasing your pace. Vi tries to argue, but she can barely speak, only trying to hold back her moans, which she is clearly failing at.

“I’m cumming!” Vi shouts, her hands gripping the bedsheets hard while sweat ran down her face. You make sure you remember how beautiful Vi looks with this fucked-out expression.

“Cum for me.” And with that, Vi’s back arches and she finally lets go. Her moans and whimpers are music to your ears.

As she comes down from her high, you gently kiss her lips and start leaving a trail down her neck.

She kisses you back. You both are sweaty and out of breath, but neither of you care.

You finally pull away, get back on your knees in between her legs.

“What are you doing?” Vi asks. You laugh at her question.

“Baby, I haven’t even used the strap yet. What do you think I’m wearing this for?” You say.

Vi shakes her head, “I just came.”

You ignore her as you grab her right knee, and lift her leg up to rest on your left shoulder. You wrap an arm around the leg to keep her in place.

“Get ready for me, baby,” you say. Vi tries to squirm away, but is too weak from her previous orgasm.

“Please… I can’t take it,” Vi admits. Her face turns pink.

“You can, and you will,” you say, shutting down her protests, “But if you really want it to stop, then say the word. Do you understand?” Vi nods, but she doesn’t say the word. Oh, her and her ego.

You begin to line the strap up with her dripping entrance. In one swift motion, you thrust it in. Since she’s stretched out already, you bottom out quickly.

Vi screams at the sudden stretch and the overstimulation.

“Hurts!” Vi yells. Her fingers claw into the bedsheets below her, and her eyes are squeezed shut.

You gently stroke her hair to comfort her, but you don’t stop. You slowly pull the strap out until about half of it was in. You intertwine your fingers with hers before you thrust it in hard.

Vi screams.

“Sensitive! It’s so sensitive, please!” Vi begs. Her legs jolt and she tries to close them, but you hold the leg on your shoulder tightly.

You repeat your ministrations, as Vi screams again and again. It sounded like a mix of pain and pleasure.

“Aw, baby, it hurts, doesn’t it?” You say, sounding somewhat mocking even though you don’t intend for it to sound that way.

Vi nods in response, as her whole body trembles. You kiss her knee, but make no other attempt to be easier on her.

Instead, you increase your pace and lean forward, bringing Vi’s leg near her chest.

The wet sounds of her pussy taking your strap is clouded by her loud screams. Her hand clutches your hand harder.

“You’re doing so good,” you tell her, your pace not faltering for one second.

Vi doesn’t, and can’t, respond. It hurts but it feels so good. You make her feel so good. You reach down and start to rub her clit.

Vi starts to feel her second orgasm approaching due to your precise thrusts and quick rubbing of her clit. She starts to tremble violently. She tries to tell you that she’s cumming, but she can’t form the words. Well, you could probably guess that by now.

Determined, you rub her clit even faster and bite on her neck.

Vi finally tips over the edge, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as she sees stars.

You drag out her high and continue rubbing her clit, though your strap stays still, buried inside of her.

Vi tries to push your hand away as tears fall down her cheeks.

“Please, no more, please! Begging you!” Vi yells in pain.

You finally let up, moving your hand away from her red and swollen pussy.

As gently as you can, you remove the strap from her hole. Vi winces and whimpers.

Once the strap is out, you unfasten it and toss it on the floor for cleaning later.

You plop next to her, tired and worn out. Not as worn out as Vi though. You turn on your side towards her and run your hand down her face. Vi smiles softly at the action and her your hand in hers, looking up at you with those beautiful, gray eyes.

“Are you okay, baby? Was it too much?” you ask.

Vi shakes her head and scoots closer to you.

“It was so good…” Vi says as she rests her head on your shoulder and starts to drift off.

“We should do this more,” you say.

Vi nods.

“Yeah…” Vi says, sounding sleepy.

You look down at her face again, and softly chuckle to yourself when you see that she has fallen asleep.

“You took it so well, baby."

#vi x reader #vi fanfic #arcane x reader #dom!reader #vi x you #vi x fem reader #arcane x female reader #vi league of legends #vi smut #vi tag

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stainedglassthreads · 2 years

Text

You ever think about how the Epic of Gilgamesh is one of the oldest stories we still remember, even incomplete, and it may be a deconstruction? The implications? Gilgamesh citing other stories, some of which we’ve lost, as to why he won’t accept Ishtar’s proposal. The whole concept of ‘this is Gilgamesh, he’s unbelievably arrogant and handsome and strong and he’s two-thirds god and a king-- and now we’re gonna explore why he’s a complete asshole and his subjects dislike him, and how for all his greatness he too is just a human with very human faults and fears, and how he had to walk a VERY rocky road to become an ACTUALLY wise and benevolent king.’

Just like. One of the lessons of my theatre classes that always stuck with me is that every play is a point in an ongoing conversation about dozens of different things, and I think that applies to other mediums of art as well. You see enough of a specific trope or argument made, you make your own response by deconstructing or subverting or reconstructing or defying that trope. If the Epic of Gilgamesh was a counterargument, how many original arguments as stories existed, until someone went ‘you may all have a point. But listen to this.’

I’m familiar with a few other Mesopotamian myths that may have been earlier, fragmented as they are, but it just makes me feel So Many Things to consider if the Epic was a deconstruction and how that implies prior existing works-- conversation!-- and how long humans have just. Told stories. How many of those works we’ve lost were counterarguments? How long back does it go? Probably to the beginning, but man. To just someday die and look down at the world and see the conversation of humanity in its entirety... what I wouldn’t give...

#epic of gilgamesh #gilgamesh #enkidu

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huggingtentacles · 5 days

Text

Alright you just beat Elden Ring. Congratulations! You're now one of the cool folks who can actually beat the game, and you're not ready to put it down yet.

Maybe PvP intimidates you and you just wanna explore the world again. You may try a new build sure, but now that you know more about the game, you might wanna try something different, like a challenge run.

"huggingtentacles I am trash at the game there is no way I could do any of the cool runs, I died to Radagon a bazillion times"

NO, You are good enough to try any challenge run! You can define what a challange is for yourself! There is no need to jump into something insane like a rune level 1 run or a torch only run. You can set any restriction you want, and completing the game with an additional challange is immensely more satisfying (and gives you bragging rights)

There are many different challange runs all varying in difficulty. Here are the runs that I've done personally.

Easy:

Region Lock Run — the premise is simple, you can't leave the region you are in unless you best the major boss(es) of that region. You can't go to Liurnia untill you beat Margit, you can't go to Altus untill you beat Rennala, etc. This run is fun because you can't skip over progression (like killing the Caelid dragon early with bleed to be overlevelled for Limgrave) which makes every fight feel appropriately difficult.

Starting Class Run — Only use the gear you start the game with. You can level up and upgrade your weapons and flask, but you can't use any other consumables and talismans you didn't start the game with. This run is quite flexible in difficulty because whether you choose to, say, use ashes of war or different spells or even golden seeds is ultimately up to you. All of them count.

No spirit summons — for some this is just the normal Elden Ring run, but for most it's a challange. While it can be somewhat difficult, not having spirit summons still leaves you with enough options to steamroll through the game if you. The challenge comes from actually learning the bosses and their patterns and engaging with combat more.

No status effects — As simple as it sounds. Perhaps you used to crutch on bleed, frost, rot or poison, now you can't. There are plenty of other very powerful damage options in the game, so the run is definitely not very hard, it only limits your arsenal somewhat.

Spells only/melee only — depending on what your previous run was. If you're used to standing behind and throwing pebbles, picking up a weapon might be a fun new challenge. And if you are used to your Big Sword, it's gonna be kinda hard to adjust to managing your FP and putting together a build.

Medium:

Spirit Summons Only — moderately difficult because it requires rather extensive knowledge of the game's mechanics. The basic premise is that you can only deal damage using spirit summons. You can restrict it to bosses only or to the whole run in general. It's an absolutely hilarious run. The AI built into the game can beat the entire game for you. Including the hardest endgame bosses like Malenia. Also playing as a support, healing and buffing your summons is really fun :)

No Crimson Flask — LISTEN. I swear it's not that hard. Yes it sucks a bit in the early game, but there are so many tools and options available to completely replace your flask with regen and heal spells. Just level up your vigor. This run is incredibly fun and it's good if you are aiming for harder runs in the future but aren't sure if you have it in you. I know you do ;)

Taunter's Tongue Run — Definitely my FAVOURITE of all of them. Its incredibly simple: you get Taunter's Tongue as soon as you get access to Roundtable Hold and you turn it on forever. Fight invaders alone or with a friend in 2v2s. If you don't have any PvP experience, this is one of the ways to learn. By the end of it, you won't be half bad at PvP, trust me (unless you just run away all the time which is also an option)

Hard:

Rune Level 1 is such a difficult run to do, but the cultural legacy of Fromsoft "no leveling up" runs makes the completion of it so desirable. Completing this run basically makes you part of the small section of people who actually know how to fight every single boss without relying on cheap tactics and cheese. You learn how to counter every move most enemies make because of how unforgiving it is.

But what's more fun is the sheer variety. Stat boosting gear is so common in this game you can literally use almost anything you want as a weapon.

Permadeath — If you die, you restart. Use any tools at your disposal to survive, play it safe, level up your vigor. But most importantly, brace for setbacks. Restarting because of a dumb mistake sucks, but that's why it's such an impressive run to complete. If you can take a loss on Elden Beast and make it to the inside of the Erdtree again, you will achieve one of the hardest challanges ER has to offer.

An easier variation of Permadeath would be "no rune loss" run. There are tools the game gives you to avoid losing runes, but it's still a very difficult run.

Torch Only Run — You pick up a standard torch from Church of Elleh and you use it to Kill God.

An easier variation would be Torches Only run which allows you to use the entire arsenal of torches. Still a very difficult run that requires a lot of skill to beat.

Impossible:

No Thinking About Kissing Malenia run — still working on this one. Can't figure it out. If you have advice please DM me

Feel free to add more challange run ideas!

#elden ring #shitpost #elden ring pvp #invader talk #elden ring invasions #elden ring challange runs

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nanowrimo · 10 months

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5 Techniques to Help You Write Your Novel

Every writing project is unique, and the methods that help you draft one novel may not work for another. If you’re getting started on a brand new project this Camp, NaNo Guest Vee James has some suggestions for different techniques to help you explore your story. It took a few NaNos before I realized I was developing different techniques each time I sat down to the challenge. I think we all do this naturally, but it helps to step back and observe the process. If you’re strictly a pantster, you’ve been working on the story ideas in your head. If you’re a planner, you’ve set to paper the story concepts, characters, and an outline of what you are about to produce on paper. Some people take a hybrid approach to NaNo. Granted, the basics remain the same: butt in chair, accomplish the hourly/daily goal, and allow yourself to tell your story.

I discovered that each unique novel presented particular challenges, and I had to adapt my style and writing techniques in order to explore the story and keep the production happening. Some of these came from writing instructors and wonderful podcasters. Some came from “how to write” seminars and workshops. Others grew out of a feverish search for “more words.”

Here are five techniques I’ve found that helped me advance writing projects:

1. Research

It was a surprise to me to discover the concept of researching for fiction. I initially thought, “Just make something up.” But there are so many ways to broaden your approach. Plumb your memory, take a course in something related to the story, talk to an expert, and ask lots of questions. You could even become like the character in order to feel what they feel. If you’re writing a western, go ride a horse.

2. Write Scenes Out of Order

If you have a premise, you’ve already got scenes in your mind. Don’t wait until you get to chapter 18. Write that scene now. You can always revise it when you catch up to that point and it gives you something to develop toward. To expand on this technique, when you’ve written the scene, ask yourself, “What happened just before this?” or “What does this scene lead to?”

3. Put disparate characters together and have them have a conversation

Often, we write secondary characters who take a more subdued role in the plot. But what would happen if your protagonist’s best friend had a conversation with the main antagonist? Or if the antagonist’s agent of destruction came upon the protagonist’s love interest? In my experience, these conversations frequently produce more depth in your secondary characters and almost always it’s something you weren’t expecting.

4. Play with Genre Tropes

What have you chosen to write? Urban fiction? SciFi? Fantasy? You already know what your reader expects you to write, and what the plot ahead holds for them. How can you twist it? Sometimes the simplest thing you mentioned in chapter one can be the linchpin of a great plot twist.

5. Study Film

It’s no accident that some of the most astounding stories have been told through film. Quite simply, movie companies invest heavily in every aspect of their production and hire some of the best writers around. Yes, it’s a visual medium and has some advantages over prose. But the main lesson with movies is in the structure of the stories they tell. Here’s a good example: when I was writing a fairytale novel, I wanted to stay true to the classic story structure. One afternoon I was watching the comedy, Galaxy Quest, taking careful notes on the structure. I realized the story structure mapped very closely to what I was doing in the fairytale. It was comforting to see this, and it also gave me some ideas on how to approach the ending.

Most importantly: NaNoWriMo is a thrilling if exhaustive experience, and I urge you to immerse yourself in it completely. Write with utter abandon, delve deep for concepts that will give you the next 2000 words, and try new things like you’re a Mad Scientist in a hurry. We all know that what you end up with is a messy creation. But you will find you have given yourself a great gift.

Vee James is a cross-genre author who loves to write comedies, fairytales, and YA supernatural. He participated in NaNoWriMo for ten years in a row, writing over a half-million words, and it led to nine NaNo novels plus two more non-NaNos. Out of this work, he’s published four novels, with a fifth nearing completion. If interested, visit his site at www.veejames.com and leave a message. He loves to talk to writers of all kinds. Vee's photo by A. Roger Hammons Photo by Daniel Álvasd on Unsplash

#nanowrimo #camp nanowrimo #writing tips #nanowrimo experience #writer's life #by nano guest #vee james

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rabbiitte · 8 months

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Sight vs. Senses: Exploring perception in Only Friends.

Because many people seem to be confused by this scene and don't know how to interpret it or simply classify it as “creepy”, I have decided to share my interpretation of how this scene uses cinematographic techniques and symbolism to influence the visual and general narrative of the series. Let's talk about Top and Mew's relationship, cinematography, visual narrative, symbolism, cinematographic techniques and the difference between vision-based perception and sense-based perception as inherent concepts in Top and Mew's relationship.

1. An introduction to cinematography, narrative and the use of visual metaphors.

Cinematography is a central element when creating movies or series, it can be used creatively to support the narrative and emotions of the story. At the same time, it contributes to create a visual narrative through the choice of camera angles, framing, camera movements and composition of images.

Visual narrative: refers to the way stories are told using primarily visual elements, such as images, composition, colors, symbolism, and camera movements, rather than relying primarily on dialogue or writing. It's about transmitting information, emotions and messages through what is seen on the screen in movies, television series, photographs or any other visual medium.

Visual narrative uses visual elements to convey emotions, themes and meanings that affect the perception of a story. Among the visual elements that are used to enrich the narrative we find visual metaphors.

Visual metaphors are visual elements in a cinematic work that represent abstract concepts, emotions, or themes. These metaphors can be subtle or prominent and are used to enrich the narrative and understanding of the story.

With this concept in mind, we can say that the date in the restaurant is a visual metaphor to address the concept of perception.

Perception is the process by which a person interprets and integrates the sensory information they receive from their environment to form an understanding of the world around them. It involves the ability to take sensory data, such as what you see, hear, smell, touch, or taste, and turn them into meaningful and understandable experiences.

In the restaurant, diners cannot see the food they're consuming until the lights are turned on at the end of the meal. This reflects a lack of literal vision, as they cannot use their sense of sight to identify food. Due to the lack of vision, diners must rely on their other senses, such as taste and smell, to experience food. This scene highlights the importance of trusting feelings and intuitions rather than relying solely on what can be seen with the eyes.

2. Narrative, cinematographic techniques and perception.

Another element that enriches visual narrative and, finally, narrative in general are cinematographic techniques. Visual narrative can use a variety of cinematic and visual techniques to guide the audience through a story, create atmosphere, reveal characters and their emotions, and convey underlying themes or messages. For example, the moment when Top asks Mew to use his senses and the camera focuses on Mew's face is a cinematic technique called “close up” and the following moment when the camera loses focus is a cinematic technique called “generalized blurring”.

Close up in cinematography and photography refers to the moment in which the camera gets very close to the subject, object or face of a character, filling most of the frame with that element. The main objective of a close up is to highlight details and facial expressions, allowing the viewer to concentrate on those elements with greater clarity and focus.

Generalized blurring in cinematography is a powerful tool in the hands of filmmakers to enrich the visual and emotional experience of a film. In this technique, the entire image is deliberately blurred or out of focus. It's used for various purposes like to set a specific mood in a scene or to represent the emotional or psychological states of the characters, among other uses.

In the restaurant scene, these techniques are used to concentrate on Mew's emotional or psychological state after Top asked him to use his senses and not his sight to perceive the food. Based on these cinematic techniques, we can infer that something important is happening in Mew's mind. In fact, judging by what happens after the scene, we can infer that something very important happened in the restaurant and that meant a change in Mew's attitude. What changed? The way Mew perceives Top.

3. Vision-based perception and sense-based perception.

In EP1, Mew told Top that he knew who was honest (about dating him) because “his sense was always right”. Basically, Mew is able to see people's intentions and, ultimately, their essence through sense-based perception.

Sense-based perception: this form of perception involves all human senses, such as sight, hearing, smell, touch and taste. It's based on the information captured through these senses to form a complete and rich understanding of the environment and people. Sense-based perception can be deeper and more accurate than other types of perception, as it involves multiple sensory modalities.

However, this isn't the type of perception that Mew has been using with Top until now. Mew is usually extra careful and suspicious around Top. His behaviour is usually guided by the mental image (of someone considered promiscuous) he formed of Top based on his immediate appearance. This type of perception is more related to what can be seen immediately and, finally, it's a type of perception related to the use of sight.

Vision-based perception focuses primarily on visual information. This is the most common form of perception in humans and refers to the ability to observe, interpret and understand the world through sight. Visual information is important, but it's often used along other senses to gain a complete understanding. In real life, things aren't what they seem at first glance and what it's seen doesn't always reflect the underlying reality.

An example of how Mew is usually guided by vision-based perception with Top can be found in EP2. When Top tells Mew about his trauma, Mew's immediate reaction is to laugh and not believe it. This is because what Top is telling Mew doesn't correspond to the mental image that Mew has formed of Top. The fact that Top can't sleep alone doesn't correspond to what Mew perceives based on his sight of Top.

Because visual-based perception is limited and must be used along other senses, this type of way of perceiving isn't enough to perceive the complete reality or, in this case, Top's essence.

Mew never stopped perceiving Top based on the apparent, based on the observable. We know this because Mew has never been around Top without his glasses (except in the water sports and shower scene) until EP5, episode in which Mew finally spends time with Top when he has broken glasses. The change in Mew's perception coincides with the episode in which his glasses break, coincidence? No, symbolism.

Mew's glasses: In this context, glasses could represent limited perception or distorted vision of reality.

In EP5, Top asks Mew three times to perceive him based on all his senses. All these times, Mew can't wear his glasses or Top suggests him to stop wearing them.

Situation #1: At the café, Top tells Mew that he wants to be clearly seen (although Mew can see him clearly while wearing his glasses) and recommends him to try a surgery. This time, Top suggests that Mew should stop wearing his glasses so he can perceive his essence/true self, while being guided by his sense-based perception.

Situation #2: At the restaurant, Top reminds Mew of what he said in the bookstore about sense-based perception and asks him to be guided by it. This is, again, a request to see Top as he really is and not based on a mental image.

That's why everything becomes blurry, it involves ignoring appearances or what's obvious in front of your eyes. Sense-based perception involves seeing Top's essence (and the affection he truly feels for Mew) and ignoring that which is easily perceptible to vision such as signs of lies. In this case, the generalized blur is a metaphor for saying that love is blind (in a cheesy way).

When Mew starts perceiving Top based on his senses, he loses control and shows how in love he really is with Top. Even all the people who were in the restaurant disappear because Mew and Top are not focusing on what can be perceived by sight, they're focusing on seeing the essence (and the love they feel for each other). This plane isn't on the same plane that the diners are, therefore they disappear.

I guess you can also say that people disappear because Mew is in love and he doesn't care about others, but I'd say it's more than that. It's a matter of perception. It has nothing to do with seeing, it has to do with looking and perceiving the essence of the person in front. It's not a passive activity, it's an active activity that requires collecting information based on all the senses.

No, I don't think it's a dream.

Situation #3: Before Top and Mew have their first time, Mew takes off his glasses and Top asks if he can see him. However, we know Mew can't see clearly without his glasses, so Top is actually asking him if he can perceive him based on his senses (if he can see his intentions and his deep love for him, that's why he keeps telling him that he loves him. He tries to supplant the sense of sight with the sense of listening).

4. The end of vision-based perception.

If we are guided by the idea that Mew's glasses are a symbolism that limits his perception to a vision-based perception, with no glasses Mew will be able to see clearly. Mew will see through Top's lies and that's why in EP5, Mew gets rid of his glasses and discovers Top's infidelity.

As you may have noticed, the restaurant scene is the climax of a topic that has been worked on, in relation to Top and Mew, since the beginning of the series. The restaurant scene marks a milestone in the relationship of both of them and the turning point in the narrative, this thanks to the way in which metaphors and cinematographic techniques shape the narrative. Clearly, this is one of my favorite scenes in the entire series and I think it has a high level of complexity and interpretation.

If you want to read more of my analyses, you can read my Mew analysis here. Stay tuned, I'll do a Ray analysis soon.

#only friends the series #only friends series ep 5 #only friends series #only friends #ofts #ofts meta #mew #mew meta #book #top #force #meta #gmmtv #only friend series #thai bl #only friends analysis #topmew #forcebook

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three--rings · 8 months

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Happy Fanfic Writer Appreciation Day!

So back in May/June I finished my first playthrough of Persona 5 and fell HARD into the shuake/akeshu ship. This fic was one that I read and immediately messaged the author about doing for this event.

And it turned into probably my favorite book I've made yet. The one I am happiest with overall.

The series (both fics are in the book) is First Step. The main fic is "the first step to find your way is to mark where you have been" by @futuresoon

It's a fantastic post-Royal fic that explores the idea that Akechi's spirit is trapped in a Palace, and Akira has to work through the Palace of Akechi's trauma in order to save him.

Also thank you to @munidraws for letting me use their fanart for the fic.

Process details under here

The typesetting was designed based on both canon elements from the game and motifs from the fic. The fic is set mostly in a labyrinth of black stone walls, so I used that for the chapter openers. And the Chapter titles and text messages in the book use the actual fonts from the game (or ones recreated to be very close by fans).

Text messages are shown in very stylized black and white boxes in the game. I decided I couldn't recreate the shape of the boxes without both a lot of work and taking up a lot of page real estate. So I settled for plain black and white boxes. Shoutout to Manda and Des from Renegade for teaching me how to do these easily in Affinity.

The title page took me....more time than I'm willing to admit. Because of the labyrinth theme and long title I wanted a winding brick path for illustration but it proved really difficult to find anything like what I wanted. So I went through a lot of image manipulation to get something like what I wanted. (Shh, it's not a snake.)

I did my first solid painted edges, with a couple fails until I went and bought some black acrylic ink, which worked like a dream. The endpages are linen textured cardstock.

The case is bound in black bookcloth and marbled fabric made into bookcloth. I used purchased black bookcloth for the author copy and made my own paperless bookcloth with acrylic medium and paste from some thrifted fabric. You can tell the difference in person, but it's subtle. The marble is quilting fabric from Joann's which I also turned into paperless bookcloth and then folded and glued down as a strip.

The spine is titled with heat foil quill in red foil. It's not perfect, but came pretty close for using foil that is not fantastic in quality.

#fanbinding #my fanbinding #persona 5 #renegadelovesfic #ffwad

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milk5 · 6 months

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THE MILK5 COFFEE GUIDE VOL. 1

REMOVE #BADBEANS FROM YOUR LIFE FOREVER

If you are a #TrueBlueCoffeeHead and subsisting on supermarket beans and/or frequent visits to big chains like Starbucks, PLEASE help yourself (and your local community, the environment, coffee workers, etc) and buy a pour over filter and freshly roasted, quality beans from a local roaster. Explicitly seek out Fairtrade Organic/Smithsonian Bird Friendly certified beans if possible. The taste of shade-grown coffee is incredibly flavorful AND you can be certain that your beans aren't the product of yucky pesticides, actual slave labor, and the annihilation of millions of acres of rainforest.

To start with what you need, a goose-neck kettle and pour over carafe are good purchases, but a suitably sized mason jar and regular kettle still work on a budget. Learning how to make a great pour over will raise your home coffee game to professional standards without needing to spend literal thousands of dollars on a real grinder/steamer/espresso machine setup -- if you're able to buy all of these items new for less than a thousand dollars, you're going to be down a few hundos in exchange for some pretty shitty machines. Regardless, a pour over setup with good beans will pay for itself VERY rapidly, assuming it replaces frequent Starbucks visits or whatever other chain you were going to. If you frequent a LOCALLY OWNED coffee shop that you like, keep going! You're an important part of the ecosystem.

What about grinding the beans? Should I get pre-ground beans? Would a cheapo blender-like blade grinder work?

NEVER touch a blade grinder again. It doesn't matter as much if you have #BadBeans, but if you have good beans, ALWAYS use a grinder with a burr; blade grinders just chop up your beans randomly into particles of massively varying sizes, leading to simultaneous over-extraction and under-extraction, generally leading to wildly inconsistent flavors and low repeatability. Burrs will always grind the beans into uniform particles and ensure that you're always (more or less, every cup is different to an extent) getting a consistent flavor. Don't buy a burr grinder -- just bring your beans to a local coffee shop, buy a drink, tip well, and ask the barista if they could grind the beans for you when you can clearly tell that they aren't busy. I have NEVER been refused, just go to a place with less sour employees if they won't help you out. Specify the coarseness that you'd like; smaller grounds have a greater surface area, so they're extracted to a greater extent, resulting in a more intense flavor; coarse grounds are the inverse. Lots of people recommend medium-coarse for pour overs (about 80% coarse 20% fine), but I prefer the stronger flavor of medium/drip (dead middle, 50% coarse 50% fine). It's also better to grind your beans periodically, as freshly-ground beans will taste better, but it's fine to have it pre-ground or ground all at once if you aren't able to easily make coffee shop trips every week or two. As far as roasts go, there's an entire gradient for you to explore -- not just the few that I list here; light roasts have a more sour, fruitier flavor, medium roasts are well rounded, and dark roasts are rich and smokey. Medium-dark is my personal favorite.

Experiment!!! It's all about your own taste, after all.

How do I make a good pour over?

Again, it depends on your taste. My go-to is a vigorous fourth-cup of grounds to 300ml of water; this is easily on the stronger end, but it's what works for me. More common ratios are usually weighed out on a kitchen scale, so consider picking one up if you don't already have one. Document your process until you get to your favorite! I always stop the kettle a little before it gets to its terminal temperature, then pour just enough water onto the grounds to let it bloom -- wait for one minute, and then start pouring a small-ish portion of the water onto the grounds every 20 seconds (this is where my own technique varies the most, it usually takes between 3-4 minutes to finish since I'm not pouring standard amounts; some people DO measure their pours for even greater consistency). Use the stopwatch on your phone, it's much better than keeping track in your head. Make sure to distribute the water evenly over the grounds, particularly making sure to wash the grounds off the sides every pour. When I'm finished, I like to immediately take a sip to see if a splash of milk or half-and-half would help or hurt the cup -- I think a very good cup of coffee can easily stand on its own without anything else, but additives can absolutely help depending on your personal preferences. Just be sure to taste the black coffee before you add anything.

What if I like the syrupy sweet drinks? What about iced coffee?

From my experience working at/visiting coffee shops, Monin is the most common syrup brand I see at local places. As far as iced coffee goes, coldbrew would be probably be the superior option -- it's also pretty easy to make at your home. I'm not going to be writing a guide for coldbrew any time soon, so you're out of luck there. I also never steam my milk if I'm doing a pour over, so I can't really point you to an inexpensive way to do that. Just know that the cheap handheld stick-frothers do not do the same thing as an actual steamer.

What was that about certifications?

Fairtrade is a pretty notable certification for food items produced in areas that have a history for being exploited (so pretty much the bulk of the global south), it can get very complex -- read more about it here. The goal is to ensure that the workers and communities involved in the production of the product receive fair, livable wages, that labor conditions are safe and reasonable, and that the decisions around the production of the product are made by those directly involved in the labor. FTO refers to Fairtrade Organic, which just means that it meets the standards of both Fairtrade AND organic production -- I'm not exactly sure if the organic standards are based on where the coffee is sold, produced, or both, but regardless, it's still a bonus; organic coffee will almost ALWAYS be shade-grown, which is the way that coffee grows naturally. Since coffee is an understory tree in nature, shade-grown coffee is produced more slowly and under a canopy and thus does not require the forest to be damaged or destroyed to grow; however, not all organic coffee will necessarily take place in a completely natural, untouched rain forest setting. Industrial non-organic coffee is most often produced under direct sun in gigantic clear-cut monocrop rows and usually with massive usage of potentially harmful inputs like, such as various pesticides and fertilizers. Direct sun coffee grows faster, but it has a distinctly different taste and is easily the most damaging method of coffee production to both the environment and the local communities. Smithsonian Bird-Friendly is the most rigorous certification for coffee in particular; FTO is more or less a pre-requisite to achieve SBF. Coffee likes to grow in tropical, equatorial environments -- these environments are also the areas of the greatest bird diversity in the world (and, really, biodiversity in general) and the destination for most migratory birds during the winter. The coffee industry has destroyed literal millions of acres of rain forest across the world, which has resulted in the death of billions of birds worldwide over the past 50 years. SBF guarantees the FTO criteria PLUS the additional criteria that the coffee must be produced in forests that are more-or-less in their natural state with thriving diversity of endemic species of flora and fauna. It's harder to find SBF-certified coffee than FT(O)-certified coffee, but the Smithsonian website has a handy vendor locator here. I'm not confident that it works beyond U.S. vendors, so I apologize to anyone interested abroad. Note that some of these certifications may be exclusive to particular continents; I need to do more research on the subject, but the tropical forests around the world vary wildly -- this adds a level of complexity to the goals and criteria of a particular certification. I am confident that all of the certifications that I have mentioned apply to South and Central America (and most likely the Caribbean), so keep that in mind. Also, watch out for phony certifications; big corporations frequently buy out existing certification organizations and/or create new green-sounding organizations to fool well-meaning consumers.

Where should my brand new beans come from?

Like wine, the exact qualities of a bean depend on its terroir, or the specific methods and geographic factors involved in its growth. However, some countries have trends in how the coffee is generally grown; some counties will practice shade-growing more than others and some countries will practice direct-sun industrial methods more than others. As a rule of thumb, Arabica beans are mostly grown in shade or partial shade, while Robusta is generally grown in direct sun. Defer to certifications if applicable.

The following areas primarily practice shade-growing:

Mexico

El Salvador

Peru

Panama

Nicaragua

Guatemala

Cuba

Timor

New Guinea

Ethiopia

Burundi

Rwanda

Tanzania

Zambia (*)

Zimbabwe (*)

Papua New Guinea

Sulawesi

Timor + East Timor

India

The following areas primarily practice direct-sun growing:

Colombia

Brazil

Costa Rica

Hawaii

Yemen

Kenya

Angola

Benin

Central African Republic

Congo

Gabon

Ghana

Guinea

Equatorial Guinea

Ivory Coast

Liberia

Nigeria

Sierra Leone

Togo

Cameroon

Madagascar

Malawi (**)

Democratic Republic of the Congo

Sumatra (***)

Java

Vietnam

China

Jamaica

Again, this is just a rule of thumb; there are exceptions to both and I'm sure that I've left out several production areas. Most of this information comes from the blog Coffee and Conservation, written by ornithologist Julie Craves. I've only tried a very small percentage of these origins; so far, my favorites are Sumatran (Arabica, of course) and Peruvian.

*The source that I got this information from mentioned that some avoid Zambian and Zimbabwean coffee due to concerns of it helping fund violent conflict in the area; this particular article, however, is from 2006 and may be wildly out of date. I couldn't find much more info on this topic when I searched elsewhere.

**They primarily produce Arabica with organic methods, despite the sunny conditions.

***Sumatra is likely the most notable coffee-growing island in Asia; while the majority is Robusta grown on plantations that have deforested a horrifyingly large percentage of the island, the Arabica grown in the north is well-known for its far healthier growing conditions (shade + organic, usually) and extremely distinct flavor.

Volume 2?

I may eventually add on to this post, most likely with a Turkish coffee guide coming next. I used to make Turkish coffee quite frequently, but I would need to dig up my old favorite recipe and cezve first. French press and coldbrew stuff will be in the more distant future if at all.

If any of this info looks wrong, let me know and I'll edit the post :-)

Enjoy your cup!!!!

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