#but victims and abusers alike dont

[uncanny-tranny]

One conversation I remember people having about people who have endured abuse or trauma is the use of survivor versus victim language, and I think a lot of people have misconceptions about the "right" language to use.

I think a lot of people have this idea that using victim language (e.g., "I was/am a victim of abuse") can send the message that you're perpetually a victim, and that because of that, it is "bad language." However, I think it's more accurate to conceptualize it more so as putting responsibility onto the people who harmed them. Framing yourself as a survivor can feel final and permanent, and some of us aren't ready for that level of definitiveness.

I think we need more acceptance of peoples conception of their experiences. It's okay to say that you were/are a victim, just as it's okay to say you are a survivor. The idea of being a "good" victim/survivor is damaging, and it's harmful to us. It puts the onus on us to think about everybody else's comfort but our own about our own damn trauma

#mental health #mental health advocacy #trauma #abuse #abuse tw #i think we ought to accept where people are currently at in terms of healing pr growth or recovery... #...and that means not idealizing where you think they should be... #...and that includes the language people use to describe themselves and their traumas #victim language is perfectly acceptable because sometimes... you /are/ a victim #and that doesn't feel good to think about but that doesnt make it less worthy of recognition #maybe i look too into this as like... 'not one of the good' trauma endurers #i just hate that some people have taken those discussions to police the language victims and survivors alike use #like i've seen it to where people are like 'dont call yourself a victim of [horroble abuse]! you're a SURVIVOR' #and they do it to i guess encourage us? but it feels condescending and cruel and profoundly crass #ask to tag (genuine)

[yuridovewing]

Disclaimer: I personally have not finished TBC beyond the first book. I did finish AVOS and its back half is considered poor quality for a reason. If you aren't having fun now I can tell you right now you wouldnt enjoy the rest. At most I think (iirc) the last book is important bc it establishes Juniperclaw attacking SkyClan, and Shadowsight getting a vision to swim in the flooded lake to 'unite' the clans- both of which are relevant to TBC in some way. But even then you could probably skim to the rrlevant parts, IDK.

i'll be real when i made that post last night it was kind of out of sarcasm and pettiness, like i do think im still gonna read those last three books and skim the boring parts at the very least, but that's on me cause now when i look at the post it does come across as very whiny and serious so that's on me lmao. (and i was kinda whiny at the moment cause i always forget about how mean spirited these books are.)

buuuuut hearing what people are saying, it does make me feel a bit better for skimming the back half of avos cause i think thats what i'm gonna have to do for sanity's sake if i want to catch up. i do want to give quotes and takes that are really backed up by the books and not secondhand info so i will try to keep to it but i think if i'm gonna read about thunderclan being shitty to twigpaw then im gonna start skimming cause like, we all know they were shitty to twigpaw now, it was uncomfortable when she was a kid and its uncomfortable still now that she's an adult. you don't need to see that backed up once again.

#i really cant emphasize enough that while i like the petty melodrama i can get out of these books #some of it is really just... exhausting. especially under the new team cause i got the WORST impression of them #ill pay close attention to scenes like briarlight's death and how they regard it and see if twigpaw's treatment improves #but like the main thing abt these books that doesnt hold up is that theyre just... kinda miserable #no one learns anything and any attempt at deconstructing the clans' violence is thrown out with ''but they meant well!'' #newsflash! intent doesnt always matter! actions speak louder than words! #and its especially difficult in avos cause while i dont like alderheart. no one here is treated well #i mean i think alder is treated better by the narrative compared to spark but hes gotta deal with his (lbr) emotionally abusive mentor #and the narrative twisting itself backwards to make him a victim and no one agrees with him. and i like underdog protags #but it feels so contrived and mean here. the journey cats all turning on him and demeaning him and twigpaw is so weird #it feels forced and unnecessary. woven for some drawn out conflict so he can be a victim and ooooo doesnt his sister suuuuck #and thats not even touching on the actual shit twig and violet go through. which while its kinda better its still a slog #cause at the end of the day they look directly at the camera and go ''remember! thunderclan did nothing wrong!'' #theyll only admit shadowclan is wrong which is ok cause theyre the evil and pathetic clan we're supposed to hate i guess #and the ultimate conclusion is not that the clans were disgusting for treating children that way. #its that they were mistaken all along cause they were CLANBORN children all along! and now we gotta prove skyclan is a valid clan #cause if thats not a valid clan then theyre not valid cats! #and isnt that just. so much worse of a conclusion? that even after darktail was born out of the clans dismissing and mistreating outsiders #theyre not even entertaining the idea that the way they treat cats like him violet and twig isnt okay? #nope! they actually kinda call attention to it in book 3 when darktail says he and violet are alike #and its supposed to be him being wrong and manipulative and gross rather than anything meaningful #avos liveread #mail #idk. sometimes i do regret deciding to catch up cause avos is just a miserable experience so far

[darklordofthesimp]

i have arrived

so im bored and idk what to do and im in a ‘i dont feel anything but i do want to aggressively sob’ mood do u have to feel that with me :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Ghost and Sunshine were nothing alike and it didnt take a genius to know that

but it also didnt take a genius to know that Sunshine was jealous of Birdy, everything they did was perfect. Specifically in the eyes of Ghost

Ghost knew that him and Sunshine were different, but in the moment a loud clatter hit the counter he felt guilty. Something he hadn’t felt since the incident

It was the first time in a long time he was out down to earth. The unbreakable soldier infront of him shuddered with a quick flinch. That caught him off guard

After all, Sunshine is still a victim of everyones wrath. So maybe he shouldn’t have been that harsh..?

OK SORRY THIS LOWKEY DOESNT MAKE SENSE- LOL

im literally dying bro 💀💀💀💀💀

Sunshine is still a victim of the same abuse he was, maybe he realises that when they look up at him with the same expression he used to give his father.

[daedalusdavinci]

I love, love, love your Twobats fic with college!Bruce and Two-Face-but-not-yet-called-that. It's so fulfilling to see Two-Face and Bruce interact before the whole acid shebang.

(Side note...do you have any headcanons on college TwoBruce?? They've wormed their way into my brain and just won't leave.)

thank you!!! ;;;;;;;; i have a lot of very passionate feelings abt bruce knowing 2f before he became 2f ykwim

college bruharv is so important to me and college twobruce is perhaps even MORE important to me. yes yes we all KNOW that harvey and bruce spent their college days entirely wrapped up in each other in a tentative space between friends and something more wrestling with homophobia and their personal demons alike and i COULD talk about that for ages but LISTEN. LISTEN.

first of all i think most people dont realize that its incredibly unlikely that 2f just suddenly popped up after the incident. i think 2f is more likely one of the first alters and has been around for a long time, though due to how hard harvey has tried to suppress his did (and continues to try) they have a very complicated relationship that leaves 2f spending most of his time before that point pretending to be harvey and feeling unsure about who he is (and probably suffers from extremely low self esteem due to being a trauma holder with no support network). so, then, when theyre in college, weve got them at a point where theyve done some therapy (in multiple canons harvey knows he has did and was diagnosed with it relatively young, and went to therapy to address it (btas), tho his therapist was..... not great) and theyre living away from their father probably for the first time which any victim of child abuse knows is a whole thing. which is pretty much the perfect time for them to meet bruce

bruce in college is starting his plans to become batman. hes figuring out how to act like a playboy, planting the seeds of the brucie image, and simultaneously trying to learn everything he can without looking like thats what hes doing. hes sorting through trauma in a big way and trying to figure out how to turn it into something constructive, or make it "good damage." harvey is doing much the same thing, albeit less crazy, and for bruce its almost too easy to latch onto this guy who 1) is a huge egghead and helps him study and 2) understands. so they become friends (and a little more), and 2f is suddenly in a position where hes fronting around this guy who believes that hes his best friend in the world

and its bruce. hes a good friend, a safe friend, and when harvey quietly admits that he has did and theyre struggling to get through school life, hes supportive. hes there for them. he doesnt know when 2f is there, but 2f sees him getting books on did, sees him trying to learn, changing his language, trying to understand and support them. he doesnt get all of it but no one has ever even tried before and for the first time in his entire life 2f feels like there might be a person he can be himself around. so slowly, carefully, he starts letting bruce know when hes fronting

i think bruce is 2fs first friend thats his. i think bruce is the first person outside of a therapist who gets to meet 2f and he regularly stops 2f in his tracks just because he knows and yet somehow he doesnt hate 2f. he doesnt blame him when things go wrong, he doesnt think theres anything wrong with him, he just loves him unconditionally the exact same way he loves harvey. its the first time 2f really gets to be himself and explore the ways hes different from harvey around another person and having bruce is huge for him. harvey has so much resentment for 2f and yet bruce just has none, and its the first time anyones really loved 2f and i think that sits with him for the rest of his life. like, years down the line, when 2f is pissed at batman and tearing around the city, hes still got this little soft spot somewhere in his heart for bruce wayne.

this wound up basically being a huge dump about how i vaguely think of their relationship in college in overarching terms but if you want specific headcanons i can do that too alskdjnfsdf just probably in a different post bc this is so long and i got so carried away

#bruharvey #twobats #asks #can you tell im fucking insane about this topic #i love 2f and harv more than anything im cradling them in my hands #obvious disclaimer ive done my utmost bestest to research the fuck out of did but im not a resource for facts do your own research #if you have did and you see me saying bullshit call me out immediately i want to know and grow theres too much misinfo already

[aronarchy]

you're asian. you should understand. do some research into what a tool of imperialism and colonialization and war, what a tool of racial fetishization """sex work"""" is.

Ah. And there it is.

-

You had quite a different tune just three asks ago:

youre 16. women which have been trafficked their entire childhoods, which have been sex slaves, which have been "sex workers" have more a right to speak than you, im sorry but you quite literally dont understand. i am nonwestern. i was poor.

stop with the fucking sex work shit because you think anything else is offensive. its privileged. its privileged western bullshit which is offensive as fuck and speaks over those of us who are Actually impacted by this god damn narrative.

Make up your mind. Am I evil privileged white-adjacent imperialist oppressor or poor fellow victim oppressed uwu femme of color? Ignorant invading outsider or alike comrade who’d understand your struggles? Person Deserving Of A Voice here or person who should shut up about this?

Do you think someone like me with my particular marginalizations and experiences would see your offer as kind generous benevolent helpful education, or as yet another example of the misogynistic and adultist (and racist) paternalism I have been subjected to throughout my life?

Do you think someone like me with my particular marginalizations and experiences am the type to buy into moral panic, to leave behind rigorous examination the moment the buzzwords come out, to cave to sex negativity the moment I am pressured with think of the poor women and think of the children? I’m a freak and a deviant and a degenerate, along with “(C )SA survivor” and “feminist of color.” I feel no loyalty to you and your crowd. I have nothing for the people who wished to tokenize me and then call for my murder the moment I stepped out of the Acceptable sj circle and I have no interest in repetitions of the same argument that has been used trying to justify my and my communities’ extermination (“if you say/do that you are literally offending/harming every single rape survivor”--“rape apologist/enabler” weaponized as a marker of an Immoral person to level violence and abuse against, and not just to indicate someone with specific sets of beliefs that actually enable/support rape)

“You’re Asian. You should understand.”

And then, not one sentence later:

“do some research into what a tool of imperialism and colonialization and war, what a tool of racial fetishization """sex work"""" is.”

Gotta pick one, anon. Asian, so should understand? Or privileged bourgeois white-adjacent westerner, so doesn’t understand, and should do their research?

All of the above which ties fairly well into one of the things I answered to your first ask: SWERFs’ habit of tokenizing the marginalized, treating us all as monoliths, then silencing us if we disagree or don’t fit the narrative, or immediately jumping to a “poor deluded brainwashed lost little lambs” narrative (which they of course are immune to, and can “save” us from), but also going back to tokenization and agreement if they find us useful. “Privileged” and “oppressed,” “imperialist” and “colonized” becoming idpol buzzwords instead of meaningful material class indicators.

I usually do slightly different discourses here; sw crim vs legalization vs decrim hasn’t really been one of my major topics of interest compared to others. I’ve only properly posted about it with my own commentary very few times over the past year, so I’m not exactly sure where this is coming from, but I have several guesses:

- yesterday on fedi I live-tweeted my reactions to a sex-negative TIRF piece I was reading and felt annoyed about. the portions I screenshotted might’ve mentioned sw a few times, though it wasn’t the focus of my critique, but maybe one of you people with a vendetta regarding my discoursing decided to follow me here? wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened

- yesterday, on my alt, I reblogged a post calling out a “transfeminist” for citing Esperanza Fonseca’s SWERF piece to a transfeminist reading list, and calling out her paternalistic sentiments in attempting to speak for Asians and the third world as a westerner (I put in some snarky tags but I didn’t think it would catch much notice)

- several months ago I posted a few quotes from Kate Zen Joy’s pro-decrim Medium essay responding to Esperanza’s, and reblogged it with a long personal rant about some unpleasant dynamics I have observed in swerf discourse and attempts by westerners and sympathizers at discussing Asian/Third World communism (the thing only received one note, a reblog from a friend who has since been suspended)

- on this blog I’ve also reblogged some other callouts of Esperanza and AF3IRM for their carceral proposals regarding prostitution and covert racist transmisogyny, and I reblogged one a few weeks ago with some snarky tag commentary (but no one has put any notes on that one either yet)

- two days ago some radfem decided to spread trafficking conspiracy theories in the notes of a leftist post. I responded, they doubled down and were rude to me, I checked their blog and saw several rightwing posts. I blocked them and posted the interaction to my blog. my post was not tagged with any swerf/radfem tags.

- a few months ago my mutual was arguing with some terfs about sw, and I decided to add my take to a few of the reblogs, and blocked everyone, and shortly after someone decided to traumadump in my inbox in graphic detail complete with adultist insults and other patronizing language, but no one else harassed me beyond that

- earlier this year some terf tagged me to accuse me of hating third-world cis WOC by derailing a post about femicide (I didn’t; it was someone else who’d had this URL before they deleted and I took it), and a lot of terfs reblogged the OG to dunk on the previous aronarchy, but no one else apart from her complained at me directly (apart from another vague anon a few months later)

I’m not even really active in arguing with people on Tumblr at all (anymore). Apart from that I’ve retweeted and posted a few things on Twitter but none of this is much at all compared to the people who devote their entire days and life’s work to defending decrim and arguing with swerfs, many of whom are (T)WOC and/or sex trafficking survivors, I’m really not sure what could’ve warranted or provoked four separate anonymous asks sent to me almost completely out of the blue to harass me. Callout post I haven’t noticed yet? Or just plain stalking? I don’t know.

Again, I challenge you to simply replace “sex work” with “____ work,” “____” for literally anything else, any other occupation, any other form of labor, any other form of labor which involves coercion or exploitation. I ask you to differentiate between “has been used as a tool of,” “has involved,” and “inherently equals/involves/requires.” Keep your rude condescension to yourself. Keep your bold fucking assumptions about my supposed lack of knowledge to yourself. Shut up about my privileged and marginalized demographic traits until you have an accurate map of which is which, and stop treating one like the other.

I would say “do your own research,” but I’m not really sure which recommended readings I would start with--my stance is based off several years of listening to various sex workers’ experiences and opinions here and there, and reading swerf/authcom pieces and interrogating them for their internal inconsistencies and spending time thinking about their arguments and other arguments (I only started actually writing them down very recently). And some things some discoursers/activists I admire have written, but I don’t have many of those saved, and some have been wiped from the internet. Mainly building off a larger theory base of materialism/anti-essentialism, several years of unpleasant experiences regarding radfem spaces and following the flow of their/your arguments to their roots, and a great deal of lived experience regarding christian fundamentalism and purity culture (and things from/for the perspective of someone like me don’t seem to be written down in longform very much at this point in time).

Like--I’m a very tired, very traumatized person, I stopped trying to hold puritan hands a long time ago, I don’t have the time or the spoons to entertain your bullshit and try to talk you through all of our disagreements all while you hurl insults at me, I’m really not interested and I’ve already wasted a lot of time I needed to do other things on writing out surface-level responses to all these today, I would really appreciate if you just fucked off from my blog forever and left me the fuck alone, and all your swerf friends with you.

Get out.

#ask #anon #anon hate #racism cw #swerfs #ageism cw

[gemsofgreece]

What i liked about the series Maestro aside from the cinematography, music, acting, story etc, is the way it handles the very core things of greek society that other greek series dont even bother to develop. For example, the plot of domestic abuse as shocking as it is, on a greek series is not something new. Yet alike the others, Maestro analyses it more, like why this character suffers from it, what's their backstory, what will happen about it. It doesn't shy away from it but it's also portrayed realistically.

For example, greek series Sasmos and Gi tis Elias, both have arcs that tackle assault yet it's something minor to the story (when it shouldn't). The victims will say it to their love interest or friends for help the story will have a heat argument, some police chase for action and that's it. Its never mentioned again or how it affected the victim :/

[Numerous spoilers ahead]

I love the way the topic is tackled in Maestro. Not just the accuracy and realism but also the educative nature of it. For example, it might be hinted that Antonis and Spyros might not have the exact same orientation. Antonis explains that he can sleep with a woman but not fall in love with her, which could indicate he’s homoromantic with some sexual flexibility. He looks somewhat excited when his friend/girlfriend says he’s a good lover and once he even tries genuinely to initiate it with her. As we saw in the last episode, Spyros struggles on the other hand. Imagine certain middle-aged macho Greek viewers trying to figure out what a homoromantic or a homoflexible person or a homoromantic bisexual is, for example 😂 This is some nuance missing from Greek TV.

Then I like that it’s made clear that the fathers are both disapproving but in different ways. I believe that Phanes is nowdays the most common homophobic example: he expresses concern about Antonis’ happiness (which btw is kinda valid if Antonis stays in the small island community) but as we also can tell from his personality, Phanes probably worries above all that this can affect his political career and public image, therefore himself and people’s opinion of him. Also, he says one of the most realistic phrases ever “Okay I said I accept it but do you expect me to celebrate or congratulate you or something? How comfortable exactly do you want me to be?”.

Haralambos on the other hand…. I am not gonna repeat what his main concern was… but it is unfortunately realistic for misogynistic and violent men. Haralambos is extreme but you hear extreme things in the news and it is common in remote, rural, conservative areas with poor education.

I know exactly what scene you are talking about. I was impressed (and blood-chilled) too. The monster creates a monster. It also makes you wonder though; what Haralambos’ youth and childhood might have been like for him to have become that beast… Because Spyros is a good boy, yet slowly…slowly… Haralambos’ poison works.

And of course the fear of seeking help, of going to the police. Maria has been afraid for ages but when she sees Yanna she realises she might have to fight for someone else instead of herself before it’s too late and hopefully this will give her the huge inner strength she needs… Another very realistic thing and something we always ask when seeing something relevant in the news “why nobody spoke up” is that EVERYONE in the island knows about it. Even the whole class that day knew what “happened to Mrs Maria”. Which means it’s the gossip of the whole town and it saddens everyone yet nobody tries to help or nobody wants to deal with Haralambos later.

All these have been portrayed IMO so raw, so realistically, sometimes it almost feels like a documentary to me. It could as well be very triggering to people with similar traumas but it’s an ugly truth that has never been so openly presented on tv.

In order to alleviate the atmosphere though… can we also talk about childhood friends to lovers trope? 😭

#maestro #spoilers #Greek tv #Greek tv shows #anon #mail #hide

[mystewion]

can we stop joking about euthanasia

#this isnt a vague just like. so fucking tired of ppl dropping get euthanised as if that doesnt have horrifying connotations towards the #communities who still face that threat and are victims of systematic abuse from medical professionals and caretakers alike #this isnt about ships i dont like kyman or whatever im just mildly triggered as someone who has been threatened with that for being #gay neurodivergent + mentally ill and abused by my parents for 20 years #thanks #LOL #im deleting this tomorrow morning! #chitchat

[erratic-brainrot]

7, 10, 11, 35 for the SP ask/do meme?

Okay this took me forever to get to but I did it all tonight so UwU!

7) Do you have any sympathy for Cartman?

Yes, I do though it's not uncritical sympathy. I still think hes a horrible person within canon on terms that are solely his own— not just a product of being a native child (which was originally the angle i saw with cartman). He’s clearly a child dealing with an unhealthy parent, which I would dare to use the term abusive, though Liane is a very complicated character, deeply in the closet, littered with insecurities, LEARNED to gain attention and credibility through being an abusive person himself.

I can sympathize with his pain, especially from the angle of a child while condemning him a fuck ton. And is a very fun character to analyze and exhausting to write for this reason.

10) If you had to match each kid in Craig's gang with the kid that was the most like them in Stan's gang, who would be the most like who?

This might be basic as hell but here we GOOO—

Cartman and Clyde are easy as they are stupid chubby dumb dumb gamers who dont have the best concepts of what women are. Also they’re canonically on friendly terms??? So yeah.

Stan is hard because I can see him as Craig or Tolkien. But for the sake of a new conversation, I’ll say Tolkien. Both are shown to be level headed people, reference to lean on the more sensitive, are passive in interactions, both get fed up with shit easily but tend to walk away, both have a type in competitive gals, and now both deal with a weed farm they had no choice in existing at.

Now with Kyle it's tricky because he's a very specific character, he also parallels Tolkien well with the contrast of passive and active— but there similarities seem to be surface level and acquainted to being the “Mom Friend” of the group. For some reason I oddly want to say Tweek, more so for what I see based on their possible futures and their development.

Both characters are (to me) anxious over thinkers, who repeatedly question the morality of things, have low self esteem, are kinda aggressive? Maybe able to hold their ground is a better word, heavily mocked, very work focused people, and care a lot about the implications of actions.

They both also deal with a lot of non-physical abuse (tweek is unarguable the victim of psychological abuse, and I truly see Kyle experiencing a lot of verbal-abuse from gerald, both are easily manipulated by others despite also being strong minded, and a bunch of horrible things from town folk), had a large majority of people think they were gay from means out of their control when they genuinely werent even questioning anything, both tend to play range/healer characters (though this isn’t always the case IE barbian tweek), and both are non-catholic but aren’t atheists either! Kyle is Jewish and Tweek is Buddhist. I just think Tweek and morden Kyle have a higher likely hood of understanding each other and getting along.

Now here is where it gets hard and I say some controversial things.

From the remaining two…. I would have to say that Craig and Butters are the most alike. In reality I think Clyde and butters have the most similarities but if were going to pair off— Clyde is the only reasonable answer to cartman.

Now to explain my answer. Both Craig and Butters are kinda awkward kids who have minor (though different) difficulties socializing, they both are passive, they both have kinda niche interests that people tend to ignore, they’re both randomly assumed to be queer for dumb reasons, both are depicted as native, both get animated with the dumb high smile, both are rodient owners, both kinda struggle to understand why people react a certain way to what their saying when it wasnt the intent, and aren’t apposited to being the bad guy in games, so yeah.

Lastly, Jimmy and Kenny. Theyre kinda just forced together because they dont fit perfectly with most people, but there still is common ground. Both have a strong moral principle, both want to put their best into the world, both are kinda perverted minded, both have a crude sense of humour, both are referenced to have addictive personalities, both are reference to have highly successful careers in the future, both have a kinda nonchalant manner to them, both have their own difficulties speaking, and both are often forgot about smh. There probably more but I’m tired lol, gonna probably get ready to go nini after this post.

11) if you had to kill of 3 of any of the main (minimum importance level is Kevin Stoley or Red) kids, who would you murder?

Uh, it depends on context. Whether you mean in canon or fanon or generally just dislike enough to want to murder.

For the sake of ease i'll go with the later of characters I simply dislike.

Bradley Biggle, his jokes are lame, he owns slaves, hes a coward and kinda a dick. He also shares the name of bicurious bradley who i love and I always have to specify because he exists. I'd deck this child, I apologize.

Gerald Broflovski, probably a bad decision but i just hate him so much. His smug abusive ass, I hate him. He’s such a covert cunt. Doesn't deserve to kiss sheila, smh

And then its a tie for Richard tweek, stuart McCormick, Randy marsh, stephen Stotch, Linda Stotch, Harriet Biggle, and michele's parents

35) Write a shitty poem about your favourite character?

Mmm to decide if I should use old works or not. Ill try to do a new one on the spot.

I’m a secondary character within my own life.

I fade to the back, left out of sight.

Forgotten.

Locked in.

Meant to serve function.

A conjunction,

Of destruction,

Then reconstruction.

In contradiction,

To the recollection,

Of memories.

They all forget about me.

#south park #cartoon #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski #stan marsh #tweek tweak #south park opinion #eric cartman #craig tucker #tolkien black #i tried lol #ask meme #ask me anything #ask me questions

[simonalkenmayer]

I dont mean to be impolite, and I'm not sending this as an attack by any means, but since you're aware of the term 'narc abuse' contributing to the stigma of NPD, why do you prefer to use that term rather than using the term 'emotional abuse' (which 'narc abuse' is most often described). You agreed with the anon proposing there is no alternative when there is: emotional abuse. I dont understand. It's literally emotional abuse. :(

As a comparison, I, as a schizospec person, would be hurt and most definitely be aware of it being a contribution to stigma, if someone called emotional abuse perpetuated by a schizospec person, 'schizo abuse' or 'schizophrenic abuse' or something alike; as both Schizophrenia and NPD are highly stigmatized, I made that comparison. I'm not sure why you'd be content with using such a term. I'm not really... upset, mind you, I'm detatched... but awfully confused. (Especially at the mindset behind this & your actions, haha, social skills are not my forté)

By the way, when did the experiment end and what did you do with the data? And, what now? What comes of everything? I recall surveys being sent out at one point.

Take care,

Emily

Emily, is it?

Please scroll back and view the discourse for the last few days. You know…the discourse to which you’re replying, I make my point very clearly in every single post on the topic. Strange that you didn’t catch it.

Here it is again: emotional abuse is a very broad term for an entire array of behavior patterns. Narcissistic abuse is a specific pattern of both emotional and potentially physical abuse. Emotional abuse is not specific enough. If we want to stop the thing, we must name it, and in the case of narcissists, they like to conceal their actions and deny treatment.

One facet of both NPD and narcissistic behavior, is that they refuse to take accountability for the outcomes of their behavior—behaviors that can only be treated if recognized. So by calling it emotional abuse, you’re in fact, playing directly into their version of events and supporting their delusions that they are not responsible. It negates their culpability for their specific pattern of behavior. It feeds into their poor mental health.

When it comes to mental health, there is a line in the sand. Narcissists are recognized by the harm they do. A man can beat his wife because he is mentally ill. Doesn’t make the action acceptable. If we call him a wife beater, are we stigmatizing his mental illness or are we naming his actions and forcing him to take accountability? Are we going to pat him on the head and say “it’s alright, your illness did it to you”? No. We are going to call his abuse what it is, and recognize that as a society, negative behaviors ought to have a negative stigma attached.

Narcissists play games. They love to try and get their victims to trip up or second guess themselves. Gaslighting and manipulating the truth are one of their most favored types of abuse. Like this carefully constructed ask, for example, containing careful clues as to how you missed my point the first ten times (“whoops I’ve been gone! What happened to the surveys? My heavens when did you end the experiment that you’ve been talking about ending since March of last year! *gasp*). This ask, written ostensibly by someone who cares so very deeply about this issue and my opinion on it, using sympathetic language and a personal story about how their own very different mental illness is stigmatized—something that has nothing to do with this particular issue—just pops into my ask box after somehow completely ignoring the point I have made in every single post on this issue, that asks me the same question again, like someone trying to bait me into “slipping up” or someone who wants to mitigate the abuse that narcissists do. This ask which just so happens to have appeared in my ask box after both Izzy and an “anonymous proxy server” visit my blog, go to the main page directly, and then click my ask box link.

Fascinating coincidence.

Narcissistic abuse is a specific thing. Social media creates a popularity culture, this combined with anonymity creates an ideal circumstance for narcissism to evince itself. Narcissists often evidence superficial charm and charisma and flourish in social media environments, and so often, the abuse that appears in online space matches narcissistic abuse patterns extremely easily.

Case in point, Emily. Case in point.

#No I haven’t stopped checking my tracking software #it boggles my mind that you think this kind of childish shit is going to work #i continually say I can see you moving through my site #and you just keep at it #get a hobby

[witch-apologist]

I've been trying to wrap my head around g/a for years now even by rewatching the whole show trough shipper goggles something I don't do usually and nothing? I've seen compilations, post's on why they're perfect etc cute fanart but it just eh, the wiki mentions something like an almost kiss and I'm like where?? Can you share on why you like them so much ?

I can try!

So there are moments in canon that are just /soft/ between them.

These are just a few pulled from Google images.

And then they do hold hand (i think a couple of times)

But those are just moments in canon where they show romantic tension.

I wanna talk about why I like them together because of who they are as people.

I reject the notion that for a relationship to work you have to be so similar or so dislike each other as many people seem to think. I think, realistically, you should probably have some things in common. But I dont think there is a perfect balance of alike and different that balances everything personally. I think that any kind of pairings, handled right, could be enriching to the parties involved. But let's talk about it.

One Glimmer for all of her faults and mistakes, does love Adora, and vice versa. I don't think that's something anyone can really disagree on, they do love each other no matter what kind of love you think it is.

I dont know how much of this is gonna make sense to you but I'm really gonna try here.

They both have perspectives that enrich each others lives, Adora with her insider knowledge of the Horde, and from being someone who was raised a Horde Soldier but turned out a good person. I think pre-season 1 Glimmers ideal end to the war would have either been Ahnilation or imprisonment of the entire Horde. But because of Adoras influence on her by season 5 Glimmer is willing to take a chance even on the likes of Catra, all because of Adora.

Glimmer provides Adora with the perspective of what it really means to be a leader who is trying to protect people. What it really means to be on the other side of the Hordes war. I think its very poetic that the meeting that leads to the end of this war is between a Horde Soldier and a Rebellion Princess. Bow is a good friend and a good moderator but the catalyst of everything really happens when Glimmer decides to take a chance on Adora. She could have held tightly to her beliefs that no one in the Horde is capable of/wants to be good. She could have given up that village and ran to Brightmoon to give her Mom the sword. But instead she saw Adora for who she was and took a chance on it.

When she sees Adora is having a hard time she tries to help Adora relax. Taking her to the best ways she knows how. And when it doesn't work she trues something else.

They often find themselves saving each other, thats a trope that i just can't resist most times.

It also helps that, the main issues between Glimmer and Adora, like with Catradora, stem from being triangulated by a mutual abuser. And, im kinda a sucker for reconciliation between abuse victims. Whether that end in a romantic situation or not. For me it reminds me of how both of my current relationships started, so those kind of stories have a special place in my heart. (Also because im an abuse victim which has made me very compassionate for other victims even if they've hurt me in the past, to a certain point)

Glimmer was targeted by Shadow Weaver at a very vulnerable time in her life, and that caused a rift to form between her and Adora. Im glad they managed to move past it like Adora and Catra did too.

I also think they Glimmer matures throughout the series also plays a role in why I still like Glimmadora even after season 4 made me feel ill about the way Glimmer treated her. And it very much stems from the fact that, Glimmer takes a chance on Catra. And of course it was Catra, and not Hordak or some other Horde soldier who hadn't defected. Glimmer looks at someone she would have once regarded with pure hatred and im sure somewhere in the back of her mind she thinks "There must have been some reason Adora gave her so many chances, there must have been some reason Adora loved her" and she tries to get through to that part of Catra, and it WORKS partially because, they both love Adora and at this time, they've both failed her in a major way. Glimmer and Adoras canonical romantic interest break through years of walls and rifts and barriers over their shared love and guilt over Adora. Thats fucking beautiful.

They have many good moments and many good ways that they enrich each others lives. And you may not ever really be able to see it the way we do which is fine! There are some popular ships that I just can't get behind for reasons unbeknownst to me even though there's nothing really wrong with it. It happens!

[nestable]

I clicked on the feyre # by mistake and came across a post which expressed how it was outstanding that people have patience and understanding for nesta but hate rhysand. I never read the whole thing because I dont really care but my god....if you're able to compare a 500 year old tyrant to a 24 year old mean girl then nothing anyone says can help you.

Talking about Rhys' perpetual sexism, tyranny, incompetency as a leader, sexually abusive past, lechery and ability to roofy someone and play victim at the same time, isnt going to change any minds because people that think nesta and rhys are anyway alike have already excused or ignored his crimes and somehow believe that they're correct. Nestas crime is what? Being mean. But somehow to these people it equates to the actions of a predator and a despot.

I'd never got to the face of someone who was mistreated by their sister and say it was correct, so I wonder if theyd be able to go to a sexual assault survivor, a victim of drugging and people who've lived under dictator rule and say it was all for their own good. That those people had their reasons.

Yes it's all fiction but I firmly believe that the actions in fiction are reflective of real society and if you're able to excuse it on a fictitious level instead of dissecting it to see that its inherently wrong, then reality should be nothing to you.

We all have problematic favs and nesta to some is a problematic fav, but damn. Comparing her to that guy? Really. Stan who you want but you should have the insight to see their wrongs and not excuse them by. Comparing them to someone who isnt near their skew and non existent morals doesnt help, its just reflective of you and your beliefs. Which are...odd.

#anti rhysand #anti nesta archeron

[lemongogo]

why do people like to compare victims??? like yes, shouto was a victim of abuse too but it's never okay to compare two people's trauma, no matter how "alike" they seem (which they aren't but.........)

ITS AWFUL I HATE IT . i dont know how 2 word it but like. the people using him as a comparison to others r so blatantly performative bc u know they don’t give a shit about what happened to shouto, otherwise it’d mean aligning themselves w the same ideals the league have been proposing since the very beginning / holding the sys accountable and u know how they get abt that 😬

just the general expectation that victims r supposed to act a certain way in response 2 their trauma is a scary notion and i hate that ppl are using it as some . moral indicator or w/e the fuck they do. its so bad its so bbaad can we not do that please

#and i guarantee these are the same people that shit on nana or rei for their actions like. it boggles my mind luv #brain worms !! #bnha #cafedanslanuiit #asktag #lgtext #its always on the victims and never on the ones who abused them. fucking awful #child abuse tw

[imaginative-spirit]

hii! i found your twitter acc when i was searching for sefikura meta/analysis, and i found your tweet! i wanted to ask if you know some blog posts (or any posts) of their relationship analysis, as i am quite new to the whole ffvii series and i am intrigued by their relationship. i wanted to ask through cc but i noticed you dont have curiouscat so i’m asking through tumblr, sorry ;;

I didn’t mean to put all of this under a readmore but tumblr is being an ass so that’s what we’re doing now, I guess...

Hello!! Unfortunately I can’t really come up with anything on the spot, because despite seeing posts like that around before, I’m very unorganized and bad at keeping track of posts... so I decided to write you one on the spot instead, lmao!! I’ve been planning to write a more coherent, longer analysis for a while but still haven’t gotten around to it, but I’ll share some of my condensed thoughts here. The sefikura relationship is what intrigues me most about FFVII after all, and I usually yell quite a lot about them on twitter!

You say you’re new to FFVII, which means that I should definitely give a spoiler warning here. I’m going to address spoilery stuff from the OG, Remake and also some of the compilation material, because it’s hard to talk about their relationship without doing so. (I’ll also assume you’re familiar enough with the world of FFVII to know what I mean when I talk about stuff like SOLDIER, Shinra, Jenova, the Lifestream and such... this would get too long if I explained all of that here, lol)

Okay, so. Cloud and Sephiroth are narrative foils, which means their stories and arcs parallel each other in many ways. The most central themes surrounding them are their loneliness, sadness and how they cope with trauma.

Sephiroth was most likely raised by Hojo in a Shinra lab, and if you know Hojo, you know that there’s no way Sephiroth was treated as anything but an experiment. He never knew his mother, and the only person he had any respect for - Professor Gast - vanished when he was young and this seems to have given him abandonment issues. Cloud, on the other hand, had a mother but not much else. He felt alienated by the other children growing up in Nibelheim and seems to have been generally disliked by the adults as well, due to them blaming him for the time Tifa got hurt. In other words, they were both very lonely as children.

Shinra sent Sephiroth to war when he was very young (people disagree quite a lot on how old Sephiroth actually is but it’s assumed that he was around 12), and as the years went by, Sephiroth became the poster child of SOLDIER. We know that Cloud grew to idolize Sephiroth for how strong and brave the media made him out to be (A.K.A. had a celebrity crush on him), and that was what inspired Cloud to leave town and try to join SOLDIER.

As we see in the prequel game Crisis Core, Sephiroth at this point is well-respected by his peers after his efforts in conquering Wutai. His two only friends are Genesis and Angeal, who are also SOLDIER 1st Class, but they end up leaving SOLDIER, which means Sephiroth gets left behind. Considering that he already had abandonment issues to begin with, being abandoned by his only friends must’ve hit hard. I’d say this sets the foundation for Sephiroth’s downward spiral. However, at this point, I would argue that Sephiroth is still a good person at heart, despite all the trauma he has endured. He persists, refusing to hunt down his deserter friends, and even begins a hesitant friendship with Zack, who was Angeal’s apprentice.

Cloud befriends Zack as well, but doesn’t make it into SOLDIER and instead remains in the ordinary Shinra infantry, which is a crushing loss for him because he can’t achieve his dream. It’s at this point I like to imagine that if Zack had introduced Sephiroth and Cloud to one another, things could’ve gone better. Sephiroth is older than Cloud and outranks him, but with how isolated Sephiroth has been for his entire life I think there’s potential for a meaningful friendship here. They’re both very lonely and neither of them is really a people-person, so I think they’d get along well once Cloud gets over his hero-worship and Sephiroth manages to open up a bit. I would say that sefikura, if Nibelheim didn’t happen, has the potential to be a healthy relationship.

But of course, that’s not how canon goes. The Nibelheim mission happens, Sephiroth finds out that he’s not human and finally snaps after years of mistreatment, burning the town to the ground. Cloud manages to kill Sephiroth, ends up spending several years as an experiment, gets injected with Jenova cells, goes into a coma, wakes up just in time to watch Zack die, and ends up so traumatized that he creates a false identity for himself as a former SOLDIER 1st Class.

We’ve now reached OG FFVII. At this point, Sephiroth, while technically dead and chilling in the Lifestream, uses Jenova as a vessel to move around and takes advantage of Cloud, using him as a puppet for his own gains. He constantly dehumanizes Cloud and generally doesn’t give a damn about him as a person, while Cloud resents Sephiroth but can’t resist his manipulations. In a lot of ways, I think Sephiroth projects his own trauma onto Cloud here, because if Sephiroth had to suffer as Shinra’s puppet for his entire life, then Cloud should suffer as Sephiroth’s puppet as well. As a victim of horrific abuse, Sephiroth has a lot of justified anger, but he takes it out on the wrong person entirely. It’s definitely a very unhealthy situation.

But of course, unlike Sephiroth, Cloud doesn’t let his trauma define him. He reaches his breaking point and falls apart completely, but he gets back up, because unlike Sephiroth, he has a support system of friends who stand by his side and work together with him to defeat Sephiroth at the end of the game. For most of his life, Cloud has been chasing Sephiroth. This is where he finally catches up and surpasses him.

And here, the tables turn. Cloud kills Sephiroth but that’s never stopped Sephiroth before. This is where Sephiroth first develops his Cloud-obsession. He fixates on Cloud so hard that his hatred keeps him from completely fading away into the Lifestream. Cloud is literally his lifeline. (Isn’t it romantic? lol) He returns in the sequel movie Advent Children, where he fights Cloud one-on-one and basically just taunts him for 10 minutes before Cloud kills him again.  It’s implied that Sephiroth can keep coming back as long as Cloud exists as well.

Canon beyond this has, for a long time, been unknown territory. There’s a sequel game called Dirge of Cerberus that the fandom at large pretends doesn’t exist because it’s... kinda weird to say the least, lol. And it doesn’t really have anything to do with sefikura anyway. People have written post-canon sefikura as something that continues to be toxic, but there’s also fic that offers redemption and forgiveness for Sephiroth, acknowledging that he was a victim too. It’s left very open-ended.

All of this basically explains how I see sefikura. They’re two people who were alike in many ways, who could have been friends before everything fell apart around them, if things had been different. But they never did meet, before it was too late. Instead, they keep chasing each other, full of hate even though they’re probably the only people in the world who could truly understand each other’s trauma. The only real difference is that Cloud had friends to back him up while Sephiroth was abandoned, and I really, truly wish they could get an opportunity to reach some sort of understanding. And that would basically be it...

...but then the Remake happened. Diving into speculation territory here. I firmly believe that the Sephiroth we see in the Remake is a time traveller, or is at least aware of the future to some degree, and that the remake is actually a sequel where Sephiroth is quite literally remaking OG ffvii. He’s completely obsessed with Cloud to a degree that he never was in the OG, and considering how loyal the developers stayed to the characterization of basically every other OG character this immediately stuck out to me like a sore thumb even though it took me until the end of the game to piece it together.

I’m not kidding here. Sephiroth is desperate for Cloud’s attention in the Remake. He's constantly trying to touch Cloud, everything he says to Cloud makes him sound like a pining ex-husband, and he generally doesn’t do anything to harm Cloud except scaring him shitless simply by showing up. He actually has quite a few moments when he’s very gentle with Cloud. At the end of the game he basically even proposes to Cloud by asking Cloud to join him and genuinely seems upset when Cloud rejects him. And even then, he claims he doesn’t want Cloud (nor himself) to die.

For the life of me, I can’t wrap my head around what Sephiroth’s goal is in the Remake and I have no idea what they’re planning to do with his character in future parts, but I’m very excited to find out. The sefikura content in the Remake was very delicious and at this point the only thing they could do to surpass it in the future would be to have them actually make out on screen, lmao.

I hope this is coherent enough to read, I basically just tried to condense everything I could into a neat little essay and there’s definitely things I didn’t mention here, lol. I’ll write a proper, more well-thought out analysis another time!

Also, if you want to ask me anything else or talk to me about sefikura in general, my DMs are always open, both here and on twitter ;D

#hhhhhh I didn't mean for the entire thing to end up under a readmore but tumblr is a bitch and I can't fix it >:( #adventures in answering asks #sefikura #ffvii #Anonymous

[ravenaveira]

Okay I get why you might not like Alisha from ToZ, but you hate /Luke/?????? I cannot understand. Why do you hate Luke I gotta know

Ok Im gonna be honest and admit Im a little biased when it comes to Luke, and when I say little I really mean ALOT lol I’ll explain

First off he started off pretty bad but I could already tell he was going to develop as his journey went on and I was right, I was really proud of his development and growth. But then he got all those people killed, ignoring everyone who tried to warn him because of his arrogance which caused everyone to hate him for a short time and rightfully so, hell I was pissed at him still even AFTER they forgave him.

But after he cut his hair and really resolved to change and actually put in the effort, I started to like him again, I really admired his growth and that he acknowledged he screwed up instead of continuing to make excuses for it, he effed up, he realized his mistake and took responsibility for it and worked hard to change. It reminded me somewhat of Zuko’s redemption arc in Avatar with how he kept messing up at first but then realized where he went wrong and did his best to change, I respect that.

So how did I grow to dislike Luke after all that? well as I said Im very biased against him for one reason and one reason only.

Asch

Now from the very beginning we know theres more to Asch than meets the eye, theres a reason he and Luke look so much alike but we just dont know what yet, then when we find out things only get worse from there as we slowly find out his backstory and what happened to him. It was so bad it actually made me dislike Luke because he essentially took literally EVERYTHING from him, although unknowingly the fact is he still stole Asch’s entire life.

His fiance, his kingdom, his best friend, his parents, even his name, literally everything. Asch was kidnapped and forced to go through agonizing experiments to create that replica Luke that they used to replace him and take over his life while Van continued to use and abuse Asch for his own gain. And what happens when Asch finally escapes and makes his way home? he sees his family and friends all moved on happily with his replica, that was beyond sad and hard to watch.

So where my bias comes in is that I like Asch more than I like Luke, why? because Asch is the original and he also just has a way more interesting backstory and personality compared to Luke who pretty much had it made his entire life and took it for granted, replica or not Luke still had it far easier than Asch did. His only real struggle was trying to have his own identity while Asch was trying to cope with having his stolen, which was a far more compelling dilemma in my opinion that I felt could have used more focus.

There was even one point in the game where everyone was against Luke and spent time with Asch in his place for a while and it just felt awkward, Guy and Natalia were originally friends with him, not Luke but at the end of the day, Guy sides with Luke and basically ditched Asch for the copy, which Asch even says he expected him to do. Even so, Guy siding with Luke over him clearly hurt him since that WAS originally his friend, even Jade points it out.

Yes its understandable since he spent more time with Luke after Asch was taken but at the same time it just felt like nobody really gave much thought to Asch’s situation and that somehow Luke was just far more important than Asch even though he’s the original whose life was stolen from him. To me, Asch was just treated beyond unfair and he just accepted it because he felt like he was inferior and had no place with them now. Just the charred remains of who he once was.

Natalia at least made the effort to reach out to Asch more than anyone else did and understood him even though he pushed her away, at least she was the only one who truly tried to console and reach out to him over the ordeal whether he accepted it or not. Luke did too but to be honest thats the LAST person he wanted to listen to for obvious reasons.

Yeah Asch pushed them away but nobody but Luke and Natalia actually took the time to see things from his perspective and tried to empathize with him, he was literally all alone through everything so its understandable why he has such a hard time with ‘teamwork’.

His attitude, like Lukes, is completely understandable when you look at their upbringing. Luke was royalty and behaved like an arrogant spoiled brat because of his privilege and lack of knowledge about the real world, so him being an asshole at first makes sense.

Asch was cold and impersonal at first because he was being groomed to be the ruler of Kimlasca but was also treated coldly by his father, then he was kidnapped at a very young age and experimented on to create a replica that completely highjacked his life and took all his friends and family away from him. So for him to be cold, distant, apathetic and rude makes total sense given what he’s been through, why wouldnt he be resentful towards Luke especially but everyone else too? he felt abandoned and forgotten and worst of all replaced, who wouldnt feel bitterness after that? in many ways, he even felt inferior to Luke which only rubbed salt in the wound.

But even with all of that, ALL OF THAT, I still liked both but just liked Asch more, however, something happened that made it impossible for me to like Luke anymore and forever hate him for it.

Asch dies, and Luke lives, that is unforgivable.

Now listen, I know it was foreshadowed but there were several things that happened that made this impossible to accept. Starting with the fact that near the end of the game all the replicas were supposed to die, keyword ALL so that includes Luke, so it was also foreshadowed that Luke would die as well. Asch from the side effects of the replication and Luke because replicas tend to be unstable and fall apart eventually which is why formicry was banned, yet in the end, only Asch dies and in one of the worst ways possible

He lived in constant pain and suffering both physical and emotional and now he dies in excruciating pain and suffering too, why? protecting Luke, and not just that, but from an experiment he never signed up for and was forced to go through, that was beyond unfair and unforgivable.

His whole life he has lost and sacrificed everything, EVERYTHING because of Luke, not only could he not live his own life but he couldnt even die his own death either. Luke got to live his life and got to escape his death and he’s the friggin replica who was supposed to die with all the rest, make that make sense to me.

The original dies but the fake lives even though its said replicas are unstable and doomed to fall apart eventually and we see it happen to every single human replica except for Luke, I just cant accept that.

They even have the nerve to leave the ending ambiguous where it sort of seems like Luke and Asch fuse and its left open-ended where you could assume its Asch or Luke but we all know its Luke because he goes directly to Tear in the end which doesnt make sense for Asch to do if it was him so Im just…UGH!!!!

So you wanna know why I dont like Luke? because he got to have everything Asch lost, he took everything from him and Asch literally gets nothing in the end, everybody moved on, Asch couldnt go back, Asch was slowly dying anyway from the experiment and Luke just gets to have everything in the end. He stole Asch’s life and in the end, he gets to keep it while Asch just dies protecting his copy, I just cannot accept that.

Its just unfair that Asch had to give up everything and Luke has to give up nothing, he really doesnt lose anything in the end, only Asch does. I know that sounds weird and a little sadistic but it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth ya know? the original dies having everything taken from him while the replica lives on with virtually everything? did Asch really get anything besides suffering in the end? no, thats where my hatred stems from.

So yeah my hatred for Luke stems from my bias for Asch, its not so much that Luke did something BAD that made him unlikeable but more like the ending the creators chose made me dislike him because I found it unfair and wanted Asch to have a happy ending too after all he’s been through but in the end, he dies because of something he had no control over and was forced to go through while Luke gets to go on living happily with everyone in the life Asch will never have, that is unacceptable.

So yea sorry this is so long but I wanted to go over how my admiration and respect for Luke turned to hate, its really of no fault of his own but the ending itself. I also hate that the fandom prefers Luke over Asch or even hate him when he’s the victim of so much but eh to each their own, but that just saddens me that even amongst the fandom Asch gets the short end of the stick while Luke gets all the praise.

Long story short this game just destroyed me lol which is why its my favorite Tales of games in the entire series despite my hatred for the ending, it was such a rollercoaster of emotion and pain that it really stands out from all the other Tales of in the series and IMO Tales of the Abyss is the best out of them all thus far and will always remain one of my top favorite games of all time. It’s such an underated gem.

#tales of the abyss #asch #luke #rave responds #kikml2

[oleanderblume]

understanding trauma

I'm not lost on the new Steven universe movie, literally just watched it but I want to drive home the core concept of the show, the movie and its themes in regards to relationships and trauma as well as their effects.

If you pay close attention, every single character in Steven universe displays a level of trauma. For various reasons.

Some is systemic abuse by the powers that be, some is physical abuse by relationships, some is emotional abuse due to abandonment and neglect, some is emotional trauma from being expected as something more or better that what you are.

And neither the show or the movie beat around the Bush in its excellent understanding in relationship dynamics, and the types of abuse and trauma that can and do arise from that.

I can without a doubt say that every single viewer of the show can fit into any of these categories and abuser and as a victim, both, because relationships are not one sided, everything you do and dont do has an effect on those who are close to you.

Since it's a hot topic, I'll use Spinel and her backstory and relationship with pink/rose.

As far as I'm aware, spinal was made specifically for pink, spinel was made to be a companion, and a friend, and she did her job well until..well, she didn't.

Her relationship with pink was a result from pinks relationship with the diamonds. The neglect and abandonment is a perfect representation of the cycle of abuse.

The diamonds abuse pink, do common abuser tactics to placate her by getting her new things, shiny toys, things that will distract her. Pink is happy, spinel only knows pink as happy.

But pink stops being happy, pink leaves, makes a colony, rashly fakes her death and leaves her old toys under the bed to slowly get covered in dust and cobwebs. Her abandonment of spinel has nothing to do with spinel.

But spinel doesnt know that because spinel only saw one part of pink.

Just like a child of a neglectful father doesnt know that the father is in an abusive relationship with the mother. All the child knows is that the father went to go get cigarettes and never came back.

But the heartache and nuance in SU crews writing is that they dont stop there. They explore and explain why it hurts why it happens and the hurricane of different emotions and reactions to such things can have.

Let me give a personal example.

I have long standing abandonment issues. Due to two major occurrences in my life (aside from long term childhood trauma I have no proper way of recalling). My dad left when I was about 5 to go to Iraq. I did not know he would or wouldnt come back. I did not know if I would ever have a dad again. Eventually he came back, but he had his own trauma stemming from Iraq.

And the much more damaging one, ironically, I literally, suddenly and abruptly was abandoned by all the people I called friends. In a single day, all of them left and i was alone for a whole year.

Let me tell you the things that go on in a twelve year olds head when everyone you think cares about you suddenly drops off the face of the earth in your eyes, on purpose..

You are sad, you are alone and sad because everyone is gone and you dont know why.

You blame yourself, you hate yourself. Because they left you because you were annoying, you are too loud, too childish, too dumb.

You internalize that blame, and turn it into reactionary anger. You hate everyone. If they hate you, you will hate them much more and much longer than they will ever conceive.

You dont trust new people. Because they can leave you at the drop of a hat too. They can, no, they will abandon you, it's only a matter of time.

So you close yourself off. Mute yourself and your emotional turmoil, and distrust anyone for being truly a friend to you, and to protect yourself you continuously prepare yourself for the event in which they do give up, they do leave you, and if they don't, if you have an ounce of hope they will stay you doubt yourself.

And then you leave, before they are able to leave you.

That is word for word what I did, how I reacted to the abrupt abandonment of my friends and if you have seen the new SU movie, then you should know that is word for word how spinel reacts to what is essentially the exact same event.

Its realistic, and it's TRUE. And even if you think pink/rose is the worst ever, you have to recognize that rebecca and her crew do their damned research when it comes to relationships, abuse and trauma. They put so much effort into developing their characters, the heroes and the villains alike and it fucking shows.

So like..idk watch the show again, watch the movie again, write a fucking dissertation on the theme of the show cause it's good as fuck.

#trauma #su #spinel #pink #rose quartz #steven universe