#but what fucking goes through peoples minds to think thats okay?? and you have the right to say that to a stranger??? let alone in public???

[xxtaneria]

𝗯𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘆 | lamine yamal

summary: lamine toys around with his girlfriend.

TODAY, WAS YOUR sister's 19th birthday. And as she should, and of course, she invited you to it.

your outfit:

You were doing your makeup, as your partner was preparing to go to practice. He looked at you, and smiled.

Lamine admired your pale blue dress, and the all the accessories such as the butterfly hair clip in it.

As you already know, the Moroccan is a bit mischievous. And you felt a pair of eyes staring at you, and next thing, you slightly jump and the lipstick got misplaced on your face. All Lamine did was smirk as you gently tap his cheek.

"Lamine... now I have to do my makeup all over again.." you say in a tsundere-ish tone. "So what? Aren't I allowed to jumpscare you a little?" he replies slyly.

"No.. Now dont you have training to get to?" you ask. His smile faded almost immediately.

"Shit.. I gotta go!" he says giving you a kiss, and his spit went into that kiss. He wipes it off which smudges your makeup even more. He did it on purpose.

"See you at the party later!" Lamine says, before getting out the door.

Wait what? What did he mean by 'See you at the party later' ? You didn't think much of it, before getting your makeup kit and repairing the smudged parts.

˚˖𓍢ִ໋ ✧˚.༘⋆

After getting out the car, you look at your sister's house, it. Was. Lit. You could even see some people standing outside the house, that's how lit it really was.

You walking in through the front door to see tons of people in there. A lot of ballons, the music was blasting, and vice versa. Then you go to the backyard and yeah, pretty much the same, but with some people in the pool.

Excited, you search around your sister, and you find her, she looked absolutely stunning. She was wearing a tiara, a black dress along with some jewelry and black gloves to finish it off. You go up to her and she sees you.

(I'm just going to use Sira as an example of your sister's name)

Sira runs up to you, enveloping you in a warn, loving hug. "Hey, I'm glad you made hermana!" she says, very happy to see you.

I mean, Sira went out of Barcelona to fulfill her acting dreams and hadn't seen you in about 3 years. So she was. ECSTATIC.

"So, how has acting been for you?" you ask smiling. "Its been good. I'm just excited you're here." Sira replies. She moves her head a bit and sees your partner going in.

"Hey Y/N.. What's your boyfriend here for?" she asks. You turn around and your eyes widen. Lamine comes in and starts talking with the boys there.

"Uhh Sira.. I'm just going to Lamine. Is that okay?" you ask, a bit stressed. "Sure. I don't mind!" Sira replies. You slowly run towards Lamine and luckily, you didn't trip because of your Converses.

When you get to Lamine, you rapidly tap his shoulder. And he turns around. "Amor.. What the fuck are you doing here??"

"Oh, we got off training early and your sister's boyfriend,also known as my teammate, let me come." he smiles and slightly shifts so you could see him.

"Hey, what's good Y/N?" he begins. You smile and look at him closely, then you realize that it was Alejandro Balde, Barça's left back. "Hey, you're Alejandro Balde right?" you question.

"Yep, that's me. And by the way, I'm your sister's boyfriend." Alejandro smiles. "Thats cool dude. How long have you and Sira been dating?"

"Oh, it's been about two weeks. We met on Instagram and we liked eachother ever since." Alejandro replies. Next thing you knew, you found yourself having a conversation between Lamine and Alejandro, your new friend.

Ale looks around and sees the people gathering around. "Oh guys, we're about to go sing happy birthday now." Alejandro says, as he gets up from the sofa and goes in the garden. You and Lamine join him and walk towards the garden, hand in hand.

(I'm lazy asf so skip)

You look at the cake you were eating and you were stewing a little. It did feel a little stuffy in there so you wanted to take a breather. You go outside and sit on the porch, looking at the night sky.

The door opens and Lamine goes outside aswell and sits next to you. "Why did you just walk out like that?" Lamine asks.

"It was a little hard to breathe in there, and it was really chaotic." you reply. In return, Lamine pulls you close and puts an arm around you.

"I get you. It kinda was crowded." "Thanks." you say, and give him a kiss on the cheek. This moment was the best, just you, Lamine, and the, dark, night sky.

"Hey, remember when we got our first tattoos?" you ask, breaking the silence. "Yeah, that was actually pretty cool. I used to think if you get a tattoo, you're putting scribble scrabble on yourself." Lamine laughs.

You look down and your arm, and the ink it has. It was Lamine's debut date for Barcelona, you practically had to get that on you. Meanwhile his tattoo is of your name and birthday, so he had two.

"The tattoo thing was a really good idea Y/N." "I know." you responded as you, shift closer to Lamine and just, be there. For him.

#ᥫ᭡ 𝘅𝘅𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗮 #fc barcelona x reader #fcb x reader #lamine yamal imagines #lamine yamal x reader #lamine yamal #lamine x reader #yamal x reader #pablo gavi x reader #fluff #footballer x reader #football fluff #marc guiu x reader #pedri x reader #hector fort x reader #hector fort garcia x reader #marc x reader #lamine yamal imagine #lamine yamal nasraoui ebana x reader

[dekusleftsock]

SOOOOO…. EVERYONES TALKING ABOUT HOW TOGA SHOULD HAVE A THIRD OPTION IN THIS SCENARIO THAT ISNT IMPRISONMENT OR DEATH…

SO LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO THE POSSIBLE OUTCOME OF “SUPERVISED BY UA STAFF” WHERE SHE GOES TO SCHOOL WITH THE REST OF CLASS 1-A

I really thought that this was being a tad unrealistic, even when I first started thinking about it. But with toga refusing to be imprisoned and taking death in Ochakos arms as a sacrifice, I can’t help but wonder that if (when, lets be honest here this is another fake out lol) toga does survive in some miracle, probably through hawks, what IS an ending in which she isn’t imprisoned? Where is that?

UA BABY! Aoyama was imprisoned there when he was found out to be the spy, toga has REPEATEDLY been in the UA school uniform in tonsssss of official art! Which I talked about a certain specific official art here which was the biggest hint imo that it’s where toga would end up belonging. Will that make parents of UA students angry? The civilians? OTHER UA students, especially non heroics students? Absolutely it will. But that’s the thing, they’re going to be angry but change needs to happen. If toga was under INTENSE supervision and especially Ochako’s supervision then… I think it could work.

Toga and ochako are together, dekus looking away bc he no longer has that much importance to their story, and Aizawa is oddly close. Not yet aware of the situation or what may be in store for him in the future.

But he is their teacher, he is their guide. It’s his job to protect and, most importantly, accept them.

I MEAN, GOD DAMMIT PEOPLE THEYRE IN THE UA DORMS AND ITS ALL IN BLACK, YELLOW, PINK, AND GREEN LIKE THATS LITERALLY JUST OCHAKO, TOGA, AIZAWA, AND DEKU

Plus I’d also probably laugh my ass off at toga play flirting with deku and him getting pissy over it. Or her harassing bakugou and earning an explosion to the face. Her having girls nights with tsu, Ochako, and jirou. Calling out jirou on her crush, bonding with vlad over having blood related quirks, bonding with mina over who likes who in the class, SHE WOULD JUST FIT SO WELL THERE IN MY MIND OKAY. I’ve thought about it a little too much for something that hasn’t really happened.

If I don’t get my final few domestic chapters with toga and the rest of the girls or toga and bakugou/izuku together like. I need it. I ESPECIALLY need her to call out Izuku for being gay for bakugou. I need it.

Maybe I’m asking for too much but. I really want toga to get her happy ending. One where she’s accepted and supported and around people her age! Having FUN with people her age! The LOV will always be part of her past, may even haunt her future career endeavors, and that fucking sucks. But I want 1-A as a unit to be a space for her. I want her to be able to say that she’s proud to have been part of the league, but she’s also proud to be here. Both are parts of her.

She’s just a tired general course student who doesn’t wanna deal with the press ever LMAO

Ochako always makes sure no one bullies/assholes harasses her and makes sure she knows her smile is beautiful and perfect and the cutest in the whole world every day BC ITS WHAT SHE DESERVES.

#I’m just daydreaming #I mean It’s partly a theory that I think could happen #but all the actual in class interactions I’ll probably never get #not like how I want #but that’s okay! I can live with that #togachako #togaocha #togaraka

[gingerjolover]

omggg well since u asked for holiday requests: soft!gf and julien ice skating together?? and one of them (dealer’s choice) is super nervous / has never done it before but the other’s a natural. maybe the boys and muna are there, maybe they aren’t, up to u. love ur work mama g 🫶🏽

okay wait soft!gf gives me lowkey figure skater vibes... maybe figure skater!gf oop

like gf lived a whole life before they became soft!gf and met jb and got into a relationship

(i physically cannot create another universe rn because i am so backed up, but we can keep this in the back of our minds, yes?)

okay i would like to think that jb would actually be pretty good on skates but it would be getting her on the ice thats hard

like if soft!gf actively still skates, julien is watching her rehearse or going to competitions or maybe watching her teach classes in awe of how she moves

but julien is SO resistant to getting onto the ice, like seeing how graceful soft!gf is, julien just doesn't believe that she could be the same way??

but let's say that julien and soft!gf are in NYC or soft!gf's hometown, maybe at the rink they grew up skating in (whether soft!gf was a figure skater or just ice skated with friends for fun)

and soft!gf is BEGGING julien to come skate, even just for a little

def goes as far to rent out the rink or hit some people up and be like "can we just have an hour, my girlfriend is super nervous"

and soft!gf is a treasure and loved so dearly...so clearly, they get the rink to themselves

getting julien in the car to go to the rink? check

getting julien in the proper clothing and skates? check

getting julien on the ice? girl... bffr

it takes SO much bribing and bartering, i mean soft!gf owes julien like 5 massages, a warm bath, 2 hours of braiding her hair, and special cookies that she doesn't make often because they're time consuming before julien agrees

and julien is giving bambi

holding onto the wall, slipping and sliding

it takes most of the hour? two hours? that they have the rink for jules to just acclimate to the ice

eventually soft!gf convinces jb to hold on to the walker thingy (yall know what im talking about?) or the big traffic cone and skaet around the ice

and right before they need to clear out, julien lets soft!gf take her hands, skating backwards as they pull julien around the ice, teaching her how to brake and glide

julien doesn't fall once and is encouraged by the many kisses and butt grabs that soft!gf graces her with

ice skating!julien comes back into play when they return to LA

i feel like soft!gf was talking to kelli or katie about ice skating and they were like wait lets go ice skating

so munagenius all decides to go to a rink

and everyone is nervous, except katie and soft!gf, i feel like phoebe would be nervous but still just like step onto the ice

and julien has increased confidence but is still terrified

mainly because she hasn't fallen yet

but she lets soft!gf genuinely teaches all of them, Katie assisting because of their rollerskating knowledge

and all of munagenius are ice skating like grandmas, the best playlist you've ever heard bumping through the speakers

and i feel like julien would get tired quick, like would go off the ice and sit, a cup of coffee between her hands as she watches soft!gf try and help jo and lucy skate in zig zags

eventually munagenius watches katie and soft!gf's choreography you know how when you were a kid and you made dances with your cousin and performed them? thats the vibe

and it's to a song thats just so out there, maybe its like fucking hardy or something idk

or silk chiffon teehee

#anon cutie #julien baker x reader #soft!gf might figure skate #or we create a universe for professional athlete!gf #omg munagenius with olympian!gf #tea #anyways #i love blurby hcs #gingybread's holidaze #gingy's blurb night

[controversial-blorbo-bracket]

Controversial Character Tournament Round 2: Gamzee Makara from Homestuck vs Maeglin Lómion from The Silmarillion/The Fall Of Gondolin

(remember that these characters are fictional and your fellow tumblr users are real. i will block you if you harass others in the notes, please consider sending your unhinged harassment to my inbox instead)

Propaganda under the cut, may contain spoilers:

Gamzee Makara:

LOVE: - "Okay, so Gamzee is such a divisive character that I even hesitated on choosing "love". Sad clown with an absentee father raised in a fascist dictatorship. Was mind controlled into killing his friends and then mind controlled during a toxic relationship (or two). Suffers from addiction so fandom likes to go "Oh, how scary his withdraws are. Clearly being drugged up was the only thing keeping this THIRTEEN YEAR OLD from murdering his friends (who largely ignored him, insulted him, demeaned him and acted like they wanted nothing to do with him). Having one such friend gently touch his face didn't cure him of his issues (or the mind control) so obviously he is an irredeemable monster and an abuser. This is genetic." I know you've gotten tons of Vriska, so basically insert any of Vriska's apologists' points here." - "Gamzee is a complex character who is used as a puppet both by the other villains of Homestuck and by the arthur. Once someone takes a deeper look at him they might find a tragic character who had lots of chances where he could have gotten onto a better path but those chances were not able to be given or taken. On the flip side Gamzee suffers from some poor writing that leaves aspects of the character to based off poor stereotypes, he also lacks chances to show his internal character as thr story goes on and is treated like a tool by the story. He also killed some fan favorite characters and has a version of himself (homestuck is a multi timeline story) that abused a different fan favorite character." - "I know Vriska is the obvious pick for controversial HS blorbo, but consider: He is the world's shittiest boy. No one knows why he does the things he does he might just be a murderclown but he might be mind controlled or something no one knows and people have really strong opinions on him based on what they believe. He makes me very sad because I did think he was a cool character before he snapped." - "He was written so poorly 💔" - "when i was 12 i had a crush on him i was like a gamzee apologist and i was probably right i dont remember homestuck. i used to listen to icp and think wowww this is just like my clwon boyfriend and giggle and blush and kick my legs and i still do that with my fake boyfriend but hes not gamzee and its not icp and im not 12 but he kind of sounds like gamzee but thats because hes a smoker and he wouldnt listen to icp he likes techno. anyway i used to get so sad when people said they didnt like him because of the killings and i brought him up to my old therapist a couple times thats kind of funny looking back but i would do it again (but not with gamzee. with my fake chain smoker boyfriend who likes techno). anyway anyway my mom listens icp because her old friend from highschool who died was a juggalo and whenever i hear her listen to it i think about gamzee so i havent forgot about him yet. hes wasnt my favorite character thouhg my favorite character was the gemini one (i also had a crush on him when i was 12 i tried to lucid dream to see him once) (it didnt work). ok love you bye." - "-Funny clown -Cares about his friends -Absent parental figure :( -Did some murder but it wasn't his fault really he didn't have all of his mental faculties (see next point) -Got brainwashed by a universe-destroying god that is everywhere and nowhere at the same time through the form of a rapping marionette -The author(s) fucking hates him for some reason and retconned his previous characterization to make him a one-dimensional shitty villain and used canon text to make fun of fans who like him and no I'm not exaggerating -If I don't make him my blorbo who will"

Maeglin Lómion:

LOVE: - "LISTEN okay so he DID betray the city of Gondolin to the guy who literally invented evil, and that DID result in it getting destroyed and a whole bunch of people dying or being taken prisoner (which is probably worse in this instance), and also he DID attempt to throw his cousin's seven-year-old son off the city walls to his death during the attack. BUT. I love him. Also, and more substantially, a) he didn't go out of his way to betray the city, he was taken prisoner and threatened into it, b) he had an incredibly painful history with Gondolin involving both his parents' violent deaths happening like ten minutes after he arrived there, and he was legally not allowed to leave, and c) he was SO YOUNG (only 180! that's hardly anything for an elf!) and he is SO ANGSTY and INTERESTINGLY GOTH and SELF-HATING and I LOVE him. So." - "First of all he was LITERALLY CURSED TWICE OVER so there was NO WAY he was coming to a good end okay. Sure he had a crush on his cousin but he canonically didn't say anything and she only knew because she read his mind and he wasn't able to hide it from her. He had a major éowyn moment (iconic) and was trapped in cage after cage all his life and tbh after what he saw in the Nirnaeth I'm NOT surprised he voted to stay instead of go. Or just told the king what he wanted to hear. Anyway the POINT is that breaking under mental torment to morgoth, whose force and victory he'd seen firsthand, is NOT a moral failing, and idril started conspiring against him before he'd actually done anything wrong. The attempted murder was, admittedly, not great though. But he didn't even SUCCEED like c'mon he just got homoerotically yeeted from a cliff about it. In conclusion: maeglin did nothing wrong except all the things he did wrong, and the version in which he's most openly evil is also the one where both the narrative and the other elves are racist to him so like they had it coming"

#poll #round 2 #maeglin #maeglin lomion #the silmarillion #lord of the rings #gamzee makara #gamzee homestuck #gamzee #homestuck gamzee #homestuck #6 submissions #2 submissions

[useless-donut]

just thinking about astarion is SUCH a sweet partner? like this man was barely an adult elf when he was turned, and spent the next 200 years being abused by cazador, but like

- as the durge character, he'll be accepting and talk about your mental health and reassure you

- he'll insist on staying with your half illithid character, saying you shouldnt make his choices for him if you try to leave to protect him

- also just the dichotomy of him being explicitly vain and also explicitly not shallow is very sweet

- in that one lathanders light scene, he'll tell you he appreciates you trying to fix your mistake after you caused him IMMENSE pain

- he'll empathize with and support you if you swear your body to haarlep, noting how he's been through similar and is sorry you're going through it

- hes not jealous, his issues with sharing seem to largely come from if he thinks the other party would be okay with it (like he thinks lae'zel would spear him lol), and when someone like halsin comes along he'll happily consent

- on that note, he grows enough to be comfortable asking for support and reassurance instead of possessiveness/jealousy (not that these are the only options for that scenario, but astarions seen a lot of possessiveness in his life and its wonderful how much he avoids replicating it)

- he will always attack cazador in the final confrontation if cazador starts verbally abusing you instead of him

- he puts in the work to set boundaries that allow him to engage in an intimate (emotionally, physically, but not sexually) romantic relationship with tav and apologizes for "using" him before, when his behavior was SO understandable. and also he manipulated tav by having... consensual enjoyable sex lol. he might have ulterior motives but he never actually tries to use his sexual relationship with tav to manipulate him into doing anything

- you learn how astarion felt for Sebastian and how tender he was

- you learn about the first boy astarion couldnt bear to bring to cazador, the one he called soft and sweet (or something like that) and then was punished horribly for a straight year for it

- even when you turn to a half illithid, his main concern is you losing your agency

- if you are a full illithid, at the end of the game, some people complain about him not being ride or die, but i think he shows REMARKABLE willingness and support. what he cares about most is that you are still you, and how is he supposed to know for sure? i think asking him to stay with a type of being known for manipulation and mind control after everything he went through with cazador IS A HUGE FUCKING ASK. and he doesnt even write you off immediately? thats a lot of love right there

- if you arent illithid, he will double-check you want to plan a future with him still, and only once you affirm this will he express how badly he wants it. he's actively avoiding trying to manipulate you even

and probably more stuff im just not thinking of off the top of my head. obviously this is about the spawn route vs. ascended, but im just constantly amazed that despite EVERYTHING astarion has gone through, probably centuries without a healthy, loving relationship or even examples of that nearby, he still defaults to being kind, empathetic, and caring as soon as he gets the chance

like sure, he might be minorly evil and self-serving but personally i think thats the least he deserves

more importantly, the boys from astarions past give us a rare window into what he was like before turning into a vampire—he was gentle, empathetic lover. he was kind, he was protective. and as soon as he has the space to start looking for himself again, he goes RIGHT back to that behavior. he even self-checks for his "manipulation" and tries to correct for it

it just shatters my heart and then puts it back together hes such a wonderfully written character. astarion is allowed to be lovely AND furious and vengeful and maybe its just my raised-catholic ass, but its SO cathartic to see that a forgiveness arc is never pushed for his abuser

#astarion spoilers #bg3 spoilers

[lukall705]

Young love chapter 3

https://www.tumblr.com/lukall705/739528729734299648/young-love-chapter-1?source=share Chapter one

https://www.tumblr.com/lukall705/740076676409622529/young-love-chapter-2?source=share chapter two

TW? idk

______________________________________________________________

Sigma POV:

Me and Y/N are walking to the shopping center near our campus. "so what your favorite colour?" i ask them "oh its F/C and F/C" they say and smile at me "whats your favorite colour?" they ask me. "my favorite colour is purple" i say. "i have to say i really like your outfit" i say and they blush a bit "o-oh th-thank you.. i'm not used to people complementing my outfits" they say and look a bit embarrassed. "sorry if i start stuttering, it happens when i'm nervous" they laugh awkwardly. "oh no its okay, i also stutter sometimes when i'm nervous" i try to reassure them. 

We both keep chatting until we get to the mall "Lets go to hot topic!" Y/N says happily "Hot topic? you don't seem like someone who would shop there?" i say and it seems like Y/N wants to say something but doesn't. I wonder what they were gonna say.

As we walk in is see Y/N going over to some pretty revealing clothes. "y-you wear this type of clothes..? a-aren't they a bit.. revealing..?" i ask them "i'd rather be slut then basic" they say while pulling out a shirt that says 'cum slut'. "oh.." i chuckle nervelessly. "should i get this one?" they ask "..i mean if you want to.." "oh! I've been looking for a shirt like this" Y/N says and shows me a shirt with hand prints on the chest "there's matching pants for it too!" they say. 'we've been friends for like an hour and they are already this comfortable around me?' i think 'well at least they are having fun, right? thats the only thing that maters' 

"also i forgot to ask but what country are you from?" i ask them. They look at me before answering "Finland, i'm Finnish"(or whatever country your from) They keep looking at stuff in the store. 

A few hours later: (still sigma's POV)

As we both walk up the stairs Y/N starts talking "I'm sorry you have to carry my stuff" They look embarrassed "it's really no problem, i'm glad i could help" i smile at them while they open the door to their dorm.

"take off your shoes please" they say and i take of my shoes "my room is right over there" they point at a door. 

"oh, Y/N you're back" i hear a voice say. I look over to the couch and see Dazai and Chuuya cuddling while watching some movie. Y/N just ignores them both and walks over to their room. "hey Sigma!" Dazai waves to me and i wave back awkwardly.  

"Just put the bags over there" Y/N points to a corner in their room. "wow, your room looks nice" i say and look around "thanks" they say. I spot some drawings on their desk "did you make these yourself? they look really nice" "oh, yeah i did and thanks" they smile "your quite good at drawing clothes, you know. you could become a clothing designer one day" as i say this is see Y/N's smile get wider. 

Y/N pulls out a picture book from a backpack. "hm? whats that?" i ask them "its a photo book, sometimes i do small modeling shoots for fun" they say and give me the book "wanna see?" they ask "yeah" i say and open the book.

"i'll go change while you look through it" Y/N says and goes into the bathroom. 'wow these look really nice' i say while looking through the pages. suddenly some photos catch my eye. its pictures of Y/N with different colored hand prints all over their body.  'oh' i think.

Y/N's POV:(TW?)

I'm standing in front of my bathroom mirror looking at my arms with the words 'i'm so disgusting' repeating over and over in my mind. 'why am i this disgusting?' 'its no wonder my past boyfriends left me' 'i fucking hate myself' 'i should just die' 'i bet Sigma is just pretending to be my friend so he can leave like everyone else did' 'i'm so fucking fa-' my thoughts are interrupted by a knock on my bathroom door. 

"are you okay in there Y/N?" Sigma asks from outside "you've been in there for 15 minutes" he adds '15 minutes?' "i'm fine! i'm coming out in a second" i say and quickly wrap bandages that are the same colour as my skin around my arms to hide the scars. 

I see Sigma looking at the bandages but doesn't say anything about them. "I need to go back to my dorm now, its getting kinda late and i don't want Nikolai to lock me out again" Sigma says and scratches the back of his head. "oh thats fine" i smile and i walk him to the door.

"see you in class tomorrow" i say "yeah" he smiles and i hug him. "bye" he says as he walks out the door and runs over to his door.

When i turn around i almost scream as i see Dazai and Chuuya standing right behind me. 'HOLY SHIT' i think as they both stare at me. "w-what are you two doing?" i ask nervously. "Is he your boyfriend?" Chuuya asks and looks at me suspiciously "what!? No! we're just friends!" i say "yeah, sureee. just friends" Dazai says in teasing voice "we're not dating!" "okay okay, clam down" Dazai says.  

"also, whats with the bandages?" Chuuyas asks me and i freeze up 'fuck' "none of your business!" I yell and they both look shocked that i yelled at them. "sorry" "its okay, i shouldn't have asked" Chuuyas says. 

all three of us stand there in awkward silence. "so.. you wanna watch a movie or something with us?" Dazai asks "yeah sure" i say wanting this awkward silence to just end already. The three of us make our way over to the couch and i sit in the corner of the couch a bit away from them. "what should we watch?" Chuuya asks "a horror movie" i say "Yeah, but what movie" He says. "Terrifier " I smirk "okay" Chuuya says while putting on the Movie and getting comfortable under a blanket with Dazai.

"I would love to be tied up like that by Chuuya~" Dazai says as we get to the scene where Art tied a naked woman upside down. "i think you should watch the whole scene before saying something like that" i say while drinking water "what do you me-" i watch as the colour drains from Dazai's and Chuuya's face when Art starts to cut the woman's body in half from her crotch.

"Art is so baby girl! he did nothing wrong! hes just a silly clown!" i say after the movie is done "WHAT!? HE JUST KILLED 9 PEOPLE!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN "HES SO BABY GIRL"!? ARE YOU CRAZY!?" Chuuya looks at me like i just killed someone. "Crazy!? no! i just think Art is hot! hes so dreamy!" i say "You're even worse then Dazai!" Chuuya yells "huh?! what do you mean by that?!" I yell in a surprised voice. 

"I MEAN THAT YOU ARE MORE OF A DISGUSTING FREAK THEN DAZAI"

When i heard his words i completely freeze up 'they think i'm a freak?' the words hurt me more then i let show. the words ring in my ears 'i'm a freak' 'I'M A FREAK!?' it feels like time stopped and i have no idea how long i sat there not saying anything 'do they not like me!? do they not wanna be my friends anymore!?' its all my fault' 'why am i like this!?' 'i hate myself' my thoughts are interrupted by Chuuya.

"Are you okay Y/N..? you look a bit pale.." he says and both him and Dazai look at me worriedly. Chuuya waves his hand in front of my face "hello? you've been sitting there for 15 minutes, are you okay?" he asks worriedly "uh.. yeah, i just don't feel well, i'll go to bed.." i say and get up from the couch. Dazai and Chuuya both look at each other "i think you might have hurt their feelings.." i hear Dazai say to Chuuya while i'm getting myself some water. 'did he really mean what he said..?' i think before going to my room.

After getting ready for bed i check the time. '00:26am'. i see Sigma sent me a message 'Goodnight Y/N, i think Nikolai and Fyodor are gonna stay up again so i hope they don't keep you up and if they do just tell me and i'll them to be more quiet:)' i smile a bit while reading it. 'goodnight' i send back and put my phone on my bedside table. 

A few hours later i wake up and check the time on my phone '4:23am'. i'm feeling like absolute shit right now, it feels like there are hundreds of thoughts running through my head right now. And for some reason they are all of my negative thoughts. i feel tears start to form in my eyes 

'why am i so useless?' 

I think to myself.

'Why can't i control how i feel? why are my emotions such a pain in the ass?' i start to silently cry into my pillow hoping that i don't wake up Chuuya and Dazai who are sleeping in the room next to me. 'What's the point of going on if everyone thinks i'm a freak?' my tears start to stain the pillow under me.

~(Flashback)~

"You're just a stupid freak!" My mother says. "You're a good for nothing child!" My mom yells again "you should just die for all care!"  i had just tolled my mom about my problems. the disgusting things i feel. I wanna cry right now but no tears are coming out.. i just feel ..empty.. i feel nothing as my mom yells at me for how much of a freak and how disgusting i am. 

~(end of flashback)~

"i think i need to go out and get some fresh air.." i say to myself while getting up from my bed and putting on some clothes. 

I walk through the dorm as quietly as i can so i don't wake up Dazai and Chuuya. i put on my shoes and walk out into the hallway. I see that its still a bit dark out side through the window at the end of the hallway. 

As i walk up a set of stairs to the roof of the building i start thinking about my life. 'I don't see any point in living anymore, everyone in my life thinks i'm a freak' i think.

When i open the door to the roof i feel a cold breeze hit my face. It feel quite refreshing actually. i walk over to the fance near the edge of the building and climb over it. 'i think this is where i'll end this life of mine..'

I pick up my phone and bring it to my ear. "..hello..?" i hear Sigma's tired voice say on the other end of the phone. "..Are Nikolai and Fyodor making to much noise? i can go tell them to quiet dow-" "no need to" "..huh..? why..?" "they aren't the thing keeping me up" "..okay.:" i hear Sigma yawn "..where are you right now Y/N..? i can hear the wind" "i'm sitting on my bed with window open" i lie "oh okay.." i can hear that hes really sleepy.

"so.. why did you call me..?" he asks "i just wanted to say that i'm not feeling to well so i might not make it to school tomorrow" i lie again "..oh okay.." "goodnight Sigma" "Goodnight Y/N.."  As i hang up the phone i feel rain drops hit my face, "do i even want this..?" i ask myself as i close my eyes preparing to fall.

"Don't do it" I hear a deep voice say from behind me. I turn around and see a man in his late fourties to early fifties with white long hair standing under an umbrella. "but what's the point of going on..?" i say in a broken voice "There's nothing left for me to live for..." i feel tears start to form in my eyes again.

"it may feel like that right now, but it does get better. this isn't the right choice" he says while looking me in the eyes. "..why should i believe that..?" tears start to run down my cheeks "..when everyone sees me as a freak.." i start remembering all the times my mother called me a disgusting freak. "whats your name?" he asks "..huh..? its Y/N.." i say "its nice to meet you Y/N, my name is Fukuzawa" the man says.

"Now tell me Y/N, are you sure you want to do this or is it because you feel like you deserve this?" he asks and i stay quiet. i have no idea how to answer him, i don't even really know myself.

'is this really what i want?' i think as my tears blur my vision.

I feel the rain soaking my clothes and hair as i cry. And after a few minutes i climb back over the fence. I see Fukuzawa opening his arms and i hug him. its the first time in forever i feel comforted by someone.  Fukuzawa rubs my back as i cry and suddenly i'm a 6 year old crying into my mothers chest, but this time i'm actually getting comforted and not yelled at. 

Fukuzawa stays still until i'm done crying, he stands there listening to me vent about my problems not saying a word. 

"..Please don't tell anyone about this.." i say while whipping my tears away. "i won't, now i think you should go back to your dorm and get some rest, you have school tomorrow" he says and pets my head.

We both walk back down the stairs in silences until i ask "how did you know i was up there..?" i look at him waiting for an answer. "i happened to be walking to the roof to enjoy some fresh air and saw you" he answers. "oh.." 

When i get to my dorm i open the door "goodnight Mr. Fukuzawa.." i say and he nods. i close the door when i see him starting to walk away. I quietly walk back to my room hoping Dazai and Chuuya aren't awake.

When i sit down on my bed i check the time '4:56am' i yawn as i put my phone down on my bedside table again and lay down in bed.(after taking of your wet clothes ofc)

As i lay there i start to think about what would have happened if Fukuzawa didn't stop me. Would i be dead? would be suffering in pain just wanting to die? would i have changed my mind? all of these thoughts are flooding my mind until i eventually fall asleep. 

The next morning i wake up with a pretty bad headache and groan when i get up from the bed "jeez.. i don't feel like going to school today at all.." i say while going into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

After brushing my teeth i put on my uniform.

 

(You can chose which ever one you like. also ik that most colleges in japan don't have uniforms but just pretend this college has them)

As i look at myself in the mirror i see my chubby belly '....' its one of the things i hate about myself but can't get rid of no mater how much starve myself.

I pick up my bag and walk out of my room and see Chuuya and Dazai standing in the kitchen talking about something. I walk over to the coffee machine to make coffee and notice that Chuuya has a guilty look on his face. "Good morning Y/N!" Dazai says in a happy voice "hm.." i hum in response as i drink my coffee hoping it would keep me awake. 

"Did you sleep well last night?" he asks and i nod "oh yeah, also the principal asked me to give you this, its your class schedule" he says while handing me a piece of paper "thanks" i say while looking over it 'Okay so i have P.E first then math, then social studies, then lunch, then English, then music, then science' 

"P.E at like 7:30 in the morning on a Monday?" i look at them both 'thats gonna be hell and i only got like 3 hours of sleep' "P.E is your first class? You must be really unlucky, Mr. Fukuchi makes all of his students run like 23 miles if you have him in your first class" Chuuya says 'yay how lucky i am' i have a bitter look on my face. 

"whats your first classes?" i ask them "we both have social studies as our first class" Chuuya says 'Lucky motherfuckers' i check the time on my phone and see its 7:24 am "i think we should get going its already 7:24" i say and they nod.

As the three of us run so we won't be late for class i suddenly remember something "wait! i don't know where the P.E area is!" i yell "you have to go to the back of the school to the changing rooms!" Chuuya yells to me as he and Dazai run into another hallway to get to class.

When i get to the back of the school i start panting and see the other students already ready for P.E "You're late" i here a man say "Sorry! its my first day here! i had no idea where i had to go!" i look up at him and i see him glaring me down. i gulp

"Fine since its your first day i'll let it slide" he says while playing with his mustache "huh" i look dumbfounded "Now go change into your P.E clothes before i change my mind" he says "Yes sir!" i say and run into the changing rooms. "and the rest of you start running!" he yells at the other students. 

"How the hell does this even count as shorts?! these are basically panties!?" i say to myself as i walk out of the changing rooms. (TW? for what comes next)

When i start running i feel some people looking at me. When i look around me i see a lot of other girls who are much skinnier then me looking and pointing at me while giggling. 'why do i have to be so fat..?' i hate it here this was supposed to be a new start for me but its almost just like the life i had back home. i feel like i want to cry. 

"Jeez, just let them be alone! what did they do to you?" i hear a young woman's voice say. i look at where the voice is coming from and i see a pretty woman with short black hair and a butterfly clip in it.  

"oh, wait i get it! you guys are jealous that they look better then you!" She says and smirks at them "What!? no!" one of the girls say and look pissed "then what is it?" the black haired woman says "its.. its umm.." the girl can't give good reason as to why they back talked me and leaves with her friends.

"are you alright?" the black hair woman asks me "y-yeah.." i smile at her "Yasano" she says "Y/N" i say back and she shakes my hand.

The rest of P.E is spent by me and Yasano doing the run and chatting.

After i come out of the changing room after changing back into my uniform, i start to look for my math class. while walking i accidentally bump into someone "ah, sorry!" i say to them. The person i bumped into just glares at me not saying a single word "s-sorry.." i say in an embarrassed voice. i quickly rush away from embarrassment. i keep running in the hallway until i see a  familiar face "Sigma!" i yell and he turns around. (i almost had a fucking stroke trying to write familiar) 

"Y/N! so you did make it to school, i was worried since you didn't answer my massages" he smiles at me "oh, i think i was just feeling like shit because of the lack of sleep last night" i lie. "also do you know where room xoxo is?" i ask him "Oh i was just about to head over there right now since i also have math class" he says and we start walking.

After math, me and Sigma go to the cafeteria to eat lunch. after getting our food we go to sit down at a table with Nikolai and Fyodor.

(This is the lunch:3) "This looks so good!" i say. "I've been waiting for this the whole day!" i say. While i start to eat i see Nikolai is nagging Fyodor again. "No Nikolai, we can't get a 3rd rat" he says in his heavy Russian accent. "oh yeah, i never got to ask, but are you Russian?" i ask Fyodor "sorry if that sound stupid or rude" "You are right, i am Russian" he says and gives me a gentle smile. 

Dazai POV: 

The both of us sit down at a table with Atsushi and Akutagawa after getting our food. While eating our food me and Chuuya see that Y/N is eating with Nikolai, Fyodor and Sigma, adn it looks like they are having a lot of fun. I see Chuuya glaring at them. I know how much he wants to say that hes sorry to Y/N but he doesn't have the balls to do it in front of other people. 

While watching them i see Y/N smiling and laughing, 'they look kinda cute while they are happy..' i think. i feel a bit annoyed that Y/N is hanging out with them and not us 'wait.. am.. am i jealous..?' Seeing Y/N so happy kinda makes me happy too.. 

I notice how angry Chuuya looks "hey, Chuuya~ what class do you have after this?~" i ask "Math why?" he looks at me a bit calmer now. "oh i was thinking~ maybe we skip class to, you know~" i say with a smirk and Chuuya blushes a bit. Chuuya sends me a message 'fine, but only because i have to relieve stress ' i smile and text back 'okay babe'

After lunch the both of us sneak away into a bathroom. I pin Chuuya to the bathroom wall as we make out "Fuck i love you so much..~" i whisper into his ear as i pull down his pants. i bend him over the sink "be a good boy and try to not make to much noise, okay?~" i whisper in his ear and he nods. "j-just start already.." he moans out. "fine~" i say as i pull down my pants. i slowly push my hard cock into his hole "a-ah~" Chuuya moans into his hand. "you.. you can move now..~" he pants out as i start thrusting. "ah~ D-dazai~ please faster~" Chuuya begs and i start moving faster. "Ah!~ Ah~" Chuuya moans as he grips the sink "what's wrong baby?~ is it to much for you?~" i say as i take his cock into my hands and start rubbing his sensitive tip "Ah!~ dazai~ please let me cum!~" Chuuya has tears in his eyes from the overestimation. i bite the back of his neck "not yet pretty boy~" i can feel myself getting closer to cumming. I put my hand over Chuuyas mouth and pull his head back by his hair as he whimpers "you wanna cum pretty boy?~" i tease him. "Mhm!~ Mhm!~" he nods with pretty tears falling from his eyes. 

"Cum then~" i whisper into his ear and flip him onto his back. "Come on baby~" i say as i thrust faster and pump his pretty cock. After a few seconds he cums all over his belly. "AH!~" Chuuya moans as he cums. i pull out of him and pump my cock until i cum on his belly to "ngh~" i groan as i cum. 

I kiss his tears away "you did so well.."

Y/N POV: 

When i get to my music class i only see one face i recognizance. 'thank god!' i think as i walk up to Nikolai. "I'm so happy that i at least know one person from this class" "Y/N! I'm so happy that one of my friends is in this class!" he says and hugs me tightly. 

While me and Nikolai hug i see Dazai and Chuuya walk into the room, and Chuuya's legs seem to be shaking a bit? 

I see Chuuya looking a bit annoyed when he sees Nikolai hugging me 'whats his deal?'

When the teacher comes in she start explaining that we have to dance a dance, and to get a partner.  "Y/N! be my partner!" Nikolai whines "i was just about to ask you to be mine.." i chuckle.

After school is over i walk back to my dorm. (i'm to lazy to write what happens for the rest of the school day so just use you imagination)

When i get back to the dorm i plop onto the couch "man.. this day was hell and its only the first day.." while laying on the couch thinking about what i should do i hear the door open. I see Chuuya and Dazai walk in.

I get up from the couch to get myself some water. after getting my water i try to go to my room but Dazai grabs my hand to stop me "..Y/N.. Chuuya has something to say to you.." he says. "okay.. go on.." i say and stand face to face with him.

We both stand there for a few minutes in silence while Chuuya avoids eye contact. "..Y/N i'm sorry for calling you disgusting freak.." he says while scratching the back of his head. 'for some reason it doesn't seem sincere..' i stand there for a while before speaking "i'll forgive you.." i say and look down. "i hope we can be friends.." he says. "yeah me too.." for some reason the though of us only being friends hurt me.. i don't know why tho.

______________________________________________________________

(i need some feedback, was the y/n to dramatic? was this to early for some angst? or was it just fine)

#bsd x reader smut #bsd #dazai osamu #dazai smut #dazai x reader #bungo stray dogs #chuuya #chuuya nakahara #chuuya smut #chuuya x reader #bsd sigma #sigma headcanons #bsd nikolai #nikolai gogol #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #bsd x reader #bsd atsushi #bsd dazai #bsd fanart #bsd chuuya #bungou gay dogs #bungou stray dogs fanart

[keirawantstocry]

OKAY HI IT ME 💋NON IVE BEEN HAVING THOUGHTS. sorry if this is kinda, incomprehensible, i just had Thoughts and they Had to Come Out

okay so, this has been brewing for a while but, you wrote the thing about them taking his heart and i Could Not hold it back anymore. So. Affectionate canibalism. Technically its when someone eats part of a loved ones dead body. BUT this came into fruition before tubbo died. The original thought was more like, Tubbo insecure, fitpac dont really have any idea how to help this until Pac goes "well, you could always eat part of us. We respawn so itd be fine" and like. The trust of letting someone else Consume part of you (that feels like something Pac would suggest because, yanno). While I am p attached to the all consuming trust of "have part of me", with all thats happened lore wise recently, go wild.

hope youre having a good day :>

saw cannibalism. blacked out. read the rest of it. blacked out. hnggghhh 

soft kisses arent enough for this. violently making out with you now 

TW for cannibalism and gore

"People lie," Tubbo's voice cracked on the last word as tears threatened to spill out. "Words don't mean anything. You can say time and time again that you won't leave me but it doesn't, God, it doesn't fucking mean anything." 

Fit and Pac were both silent. 

"You need action," Pac said slowly and despite the tension and vulnerability Tubbo laughed, tinged with dark humor. 

"Not sure now is the time to try and get in my pants." 

"Not that kind of action," Fit snapped, with no bite in his voice. 

Tubbo sniffed, trying to ignore the tears rolling down his surely bright red cheeks. "What then?" 

"You could eat us," Pac said quietly. 

Tubbo laughed, drily and a little bit wild. "Thought you didn't mean that kind of action." 

"I didn’t." Pac said, looking up to make eye contact. "Let me prove how I will never leave you. Eat some of me, yeah? Cellbit can certainly vouch that I'm delicious." 

Tubbo's eyes dropped to Pac's thighs without thinking. He was wearing pants that fell to his ankles so he couldn’t see anything but in his mind he could. The pale flesh lined with veins and curved with muscle. 

Tubbo felt dizzy. 

"Okay," he said very clearly, hearing his own voice as if he was outside of his body, just a surveyor. 

Pac perked up. "I can have everything prepared by tonight, sounds good?" 

Tubbo was nodding. "Yeah." 

"Perfect." 

-

The knife shone with Pac's blood, the man's face twisted up as he panted. Fit was holding him, holding his hands as Tubbo kneeled between his legs with the knife in his hands. The blood was trailing down his thigh in thick streaks and Tubbo was fascinated by it. He felt like a businessman at a steakhouse being presented with the house's finest meal. 

He stabbed the flesh through, lifting it off leaving a bloody mess behind. Almost hesitantly he raised the slice of flesh to his mouth and took a bite while making direct eye contact with Pac. 

Pac looked a mess and not just from the cut on his thigh. Part of him really wanted to make a joke about how Pac seemed to almost be getting off on it but it felt too sensitive, too personal so he shoved it down. 

The flesh was strange tasting but not bad. But it was more than that. More than just flesh sliding down his throat. It was the fact that it was Pac's flesh, Pac's eyes on him as he swallowed. Fit's eyes on him as well, watching the bop of his throat with dark eyes. 

Fit wasn't doing a damn thing. Just letting Tubbo chew on the flesh and swallow it down piece by piece. The trust was addictive. The trust felt like love. The trust felt like nothing he had ever tasted before like the blood on his lips. The trust tasted like the action that finally tipped the scales that dropped his right in their loving arms. 

They would never leave. 

#qsmp #my writing #fanfiction #poly morning crew #q!tubbo #q!fit #q!pac #fitpacbo #💋 anon

[soloorganaas]

giving you two, you can do both or choose one: 1) what ship do you hate most? 2) rant about [pairing] for wolfstar - i want to hear what you don't agree with the fandom on about them

hehehehehehehehe

remadora. no explanation needed. whilst i'm here everyone who hates them too go read a grave mistake

ALRIGHT HERE WE FUCKING GO

atyd it's an incredible story, but it's not the ONLY story, and the way its characterisations have in so many fics and fanons replaced actual canon is infuriating. remus is portrayed as toxic, aggressive, manipulative and cruel; sirius is cowardly, manipulative, over-dramatic, emotionally immature and just plain stupid. this is either completely inaccurate based on the books, or an over-exaggeration of some of their canon traits. the interplay between their individual traumas is so so simplified to become two long decades of toxic miscommunication, and they're just plain mean to each other. if this was just one story, ya know, you take it or leave it like anything else. but the way these characterisations have been exaggerated or simplified even further from canon leads to characters that are literally unrecognisable. if its an AU, okay, they're always going to be different in different contexts. but if you're telling stories that are deliberately supposed to be based in canon, exploring those ideas, and then the characters are literally nothing like the books, then imo thats shitty writing. and the utter refusal of at least some fans (literally the entirety of fucking tiktok) to acknowledge this and produce better work is infuriating

so much of this fandom is mind-blowingly talented. jfc. i have improved my writing tenfold by reading wolfstar fic. so this sort of subsection irks me extra bc of that, when its ignoring the incredible work over the past two decades, and not least the amazing stories being published rn

the bimboification of sirius this is such a knock-on effect of atyd smh

sirius is dramatic as hell. my boy comes straight out of azkaban and his first instinct is to go approach harry late at night as a massive fucking black dog. he tries to kill peter by breaking into the gryffindor dorms and lunging over ron with a knife. he finds out harry's broom broke so he mail orders the most expensive broom on the market with the help of a fucking cat when he is literally a wanted criminal. he finally confronts harry by dragging his best friend through the whomping willow by a broken leg and then leans hardcore into the mass murderer vibes with slightly incoherent rants and attempts to kill a rat as his first intro to harry. he goes on the run on a famously dramatic and haughty horse/bird and spends a year in tropical islands and caves instead of just fucking apparating to his ex's house and hanging out there. his emotions go from 0-100 in 0.5 seconds and he would deck half the order if it wasn't for remus holding him back

i think its pretty safe to assume he was just as dramatic as a teen, albeit in a more cocky rich kid way than traumatised ex-convict way. i think its a fair characterisation that he would be overwhelmed by a gay life crisis and feelings for remus and handle it in a pretty dramatic way

but that doesn't mean, however, that he is (a) nothing but a drama queen and (b) a bimbo. he's dramatic, he's not stupid or shallow or whiny. he is one of the absolute smartest characters in the book, and is so committed to his principles and friends he'll literally die for them. he's incredibly competent and self-reliant, to the point of keeping himself alive for years on end in extremely harsh situations. he's generally either intensely focused on the task at hand or lost in his own head. he's not goddamn whiny, or dumb, or constantly desperate for the attention and validation of remus

remus getting irritated at sirius for being ✨too much✨ yeah honestly im gonna blame atyd for this one again but also the general ableist trait of mocking people for being A Lot when those people are most of the time neurodivergent-coded.

remus fucking adores sirius. this entire fandom is based on this premise lmao. in the books they respect each other so much - remus is the only one sirius listens to, sirius is the only one to whom remus will let his emotions show and be forthright with. remus never gets angry or annoyed with sirius just for feeling a lot - he is in fact the only person to validate him and back him up. he gets annoyed when he's being an ass

he would never be irritated at sirius for being passionate or unconstrained or letting his creativity run wild or spewing out whatever thoughts were in his mind or just being full of life and fire and enthusiasm and daring. considering the kind of person remus is and the dynamic in their relationship, those are the things he would LOVE about sirius. whilst being perfectly comfortable calling him out when they lead him to be annoying or rude or irresponsible

tl;dr sirius being extra doesn't make him the idiot butt of everyone's jokes and remus being reserved doesn't make him judgmental of sirius's larger personality

prongsfoot in wolfstar fics

james isn't just sirius's "best friend", their relationship is essential to who sirius is and the fact he can even become and emotionally open enough person to fall in love. he is just as important to sirius as remus is. i really dont think i've read many wolfstar fics (that delve deep into the characters, i dont mean fluffy/smutty oneshots etc) that show james as more than a 2D sidekick or how his friendship with sirius impacts sirius's relationship with remus. i can understand why the prongsfoot fandom gets so mad tbh lmao

#this is why it takes me 3-5 business days to answer them it's one question and i have a phd thesis #wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #atyd #hp meta #ch: we choose who we really are #otp: i'm mental about you #hp #anti remadora

[catboylister]

lister bird solo album

IT IS VERY REAL TO ME LETS TALK ABOUT THIS !!! pls be aware im not the best with my music terms, im what you may call a poser or whatever.

during their hiatus when lister is struggling with everything thats happened to him, both in his childhood and with the band. he's given the typical advice from his therapist to write stuff down. at first he thinks it's dumb, but he gets himself a nice leather journal and starts writing anything that comes to mind. long winded rants about things he feels are unfair, talks of shows he's watched, comics he's read, games he's played, and also the odd few pages of lyrics he's written. he starts to really enjoy song writing, and with time he starts to hyper-fixate on his writing and begins composing different melodies along with it.

both rowan and jimmy here him working on it late at night sometimes. rowan is the one who starts telling him he has the skill to turn his work into an album, even if it's just for him and no one else.

drums are still his favourite, always will be, but he sharpens his guitar skills too. its good distraction for him when he needs something to do, as it's something new and not automatic for him. he really has to focus on what he's doing, which takes him away from his own thoughts for a while.

singing is the opposite, he sings when he needs to let himself feel everything in the moment; process it, let himself cry a bit. unlike the arks music, the words are harder to sing along to because it's all written from his own experience. with the lyrics he's written for the band, as much as he's in love with jimmy's voice, hearing the words that are supposed to represent himself from someone else's voice feels wrong, so everything he's written there has been more of a concept. these words are actually his own. it's probably the most accurate representation of his thought process. as he signs, the tone of his voice fluctuates a lot. he goes from softly spoken whispers to harsh words spilling through a clenched jaw.

he produces the entire thing himself. lyrics, voice, guitar, percussion. it's all his own work and he's rightfully proud of himself. and he should be because it sounds beautiful, even with the little imperfections throughout it. he still struggles with everything he's written about, it's not as if it magically fixed him. but it helped him lots, he really feels like he's doing good for himself. in a musical sense, i feel like it would sound like a mix of fires fading into black (holden laurence) and your city gave me asthma (wilbur soot). laurence makes me think of how he'd play, it's quite soft, makes me feel warm. but wilbur makes be think of how his voice might sound, you can really hear the raw emotion in each line. (like that one loosing face demo.) thematically, it would have an overall theme of the loneliness he has felt for years, emotionally isolated from everyone around him. the songs explore different parts of what he's struggled with. unrequited love, uncomfortable conversations, his addiction, pressure put onto him by everyone, his childhood, his assault, the river.

he doesn't publicise it for a long while, not sure if he wants so people to know about this part of him. when he does, he doesn't announce it anywhere, but the fans find it soon enough. a new youtube channel under his name with just one, 27 minuet long video, with a sweet note in the video description, little words of motivation for who ever cared enough to read it. people freak the fuck out, but he just lets them, for a while, it's funny to watch. first the freak out because 'omfg content theres content guys' the 'omg is he leaving the ark what the hell !!!!' but the feedback is overwhelmingly positive. what he doesn't expect though, it people wishing him well and hoping he's okay, as well as people going through similar things saying how comforting it is for someone they look up too let them know their not alone. its the first time he feels a slight connection to the strangers that form his fanbase, in a way, it makes him feel less alone too.

jimmy listens to it himself for the first time, he'd never asked much about it as he knew it was personal. it's the first time he cries over music in a long time. lister sings of things he'd never spoken of to either himself or rowan, while he had a vague idea of some of them, he never knew how much these things really do effect him. after staring at his ceiling for a while to recover, jimmy finds himself in listers room, hugging him tightly. he tells him that hes proud of him, not just for the album, but just for facing everything and still being with them.

#jimmy sleeps in listers room that night #maybe they kiss #youll never know #iwbft #lister bird #jimmy kaga ricci #rowan omondi #i was born for this #osemanverse #alice oseman

[robotnuts]

are there any rvb fics you still think about all the time? like i dont think a week goes by without thinking abt qed and how it def changed me on a molecular level, do you have any fics like that?

oooh good question. the most important fic is at the bottom of this post so just scroll to the final paragraph if you only want one, true recommendation of the only rvb fic that really matters.

QED is fantastic though its more of @shotgunslap's thing than mine. the partner to that is also obviously QoQ, the only rvb fic ive been able to make almost all my friends read. i think about the south/north characterization every day of my life. caboose and carolina mean so much to me, etc etc. thats a pretty easy pick though so im cracking into my ao3 bookmarks to look for more niche picks.

i know there was actually a lot of rvb fic that was just posted to tumblr that i think ive gone back and tried to reblog at some points but i never organized it, i should have archived it, people who wrote good femslash and rvb women liked to just post it under a readmore on their tumblrlog and you have to go digging through decades old tags to find it now

okay. the big one i actually do still think about all the time forever and ever is saltsanford's stuff about epsilon/wash's relationship. this is the big one i still think about that centers on their backstory, but also, put my guns in the ground, which is one of the Big fandom tuckington longfics, also has such good washpilon stuff in it and they're so fucking juicy. when tucker asks wash how many times he's broken his ribs and he says four and epsilon says "actually it was five" before realizing How Bad of a Move that would be. Hello? Hello?????? i want them to be forced to reimplant and have weird mind brain trauma sex SO BAD sorry im normal. this is another one that takes place during/after the chorus era

on the spectrum of fics that i actually dont yet feel ashamed reccomending, primtheamazing, who wrote QoQ, also wrote some other good stuff. i am a HUGE fan of this fusion fic, the punchline to the tucker/caboose fusion is HYSTERICAL. this one where grif forgets who simmons is due to temple shennanigans and flirts with him is also very like. trope-y but i like that shit so this goes here too

ok. now onto the stuff that it is actively embarrassing for me to be recommending. but. prim's logrimmons fic is hysterical and was the stepping stone to creating the lolixgrimmons mind palaces with my friends so its worth it just for that. but also its really fucking funny. so is the one where locus has to listen to them have sex and gets himself caught

the truly embarrassing one for me to have here is the piece of softboy grimmons content i participate in. sadly i do enjoy s15 content sometimes for the softboy grif sensitive emotions exploration i will admit to being a hypocrite there and i really liked that one and reread it frequently (just realized this is written by the QED person so! you might already know of it)

and then finally. the most important red vs blue fanfiction of all time, guns are for shooting. it has it all. sarge. washington. sarge again. kismesisitude. grif and simmons acting like rosencrantz and guildenstern (are dead). locus being invisible and getting caught by lopez with a bag of flour. it's written by the person who wrote QED. You want to read it right now. Read it right now. READ IT RIGHT N

wait no the cute bit about sarge declaring war on gravity and upending a bag of flour onto lopez isnt in guns for shooting. what fic is that from

#its mainly mx qed relationshipcrimes and mx qoq primtheamazing who are my favorite writers it seems #so anything there is pretty good #oh on the cute grimmons level i also like 'What kind of trash dragon' #which.. might be written by prim? i know they have a few orphan fics floating around out there #including uh. green is a shade of red which i havent read but know is a good red team locus fic that they wrote and then orphaned

[misc-obeyme]

LISTEN. (cw torture, barb thirst, mc infofump, mentions of murder and devildm politics, a bunch'a spoilers for Barbatos live ★ & Tea time w you-, obey me whump, conditioning, rant about newer fandom this ask is a wild ride)

But I also like the idea of him discovering what you’ve been doing & then questioning you about your methods. Like he’s impressed you would take matters into your own hands, but he is also an expert and can teach you many things~

Cue you getting taken on as the torturer’s apprentice. When you tell Solomon, he just goes pale and stammers out a joke about how he doesn’t like sharing his apprentice lol.

I'm gonna interrupt you like the potato i am but like???yes????? you do not understand my obsession with torture. I always thought I'm a masochist but I've recently figured i was wrong and Boy it Was the best feeling in rhe world to figure out whats wrong with me-

also my mc is both Sol's apprentice in magic and Barb's student in torture and baking. mhmhmmm. I also Do Not Like the brothers so much my mc was never an exchabge student. I did some black butler shit back there and now he lives in the castle. like two years before the exchange program- (no my canon doesnt follow the game's canon caue thats so very badly written) and he also helps w murdering people who are against Diavolo. and people just ?? can't believe it- there has to be some sort of a war shit going on. Dia is too kind to do this- also, if anyone figures they don't. Barb has POWERS-

and BOY DO I LOVE BARB FOR THAT. Also dia but he isnt important rn sjsksk. in the new event's card he said smth like he would cross his own boundries for the sake of Diavolo and Devildom. althought he didnt say for mc so 😔 but thats hot af still. But buT BUT vvv

villain wannabe. wdym darkness?? you said itll be for the sake of devildom! idk im misinterpenting or no but this is so side ways I'm a bit ????ing rn

also in Tea time with you when you ask him what the fuck he did that even being a 24/7 slave butler to Diavoli won'y undo the mistake he had done?? he laughs?? HEEHEEE???? what are you Michael Jackson? and the other option he goes straight to anger so idk whats with the huge difference in replies-

anyway angry Barb is also best Barb i dont make the rules. also he's the butler of their PRINCE noone gets to harm mc. they'd dissapear. go missing. possibly either killed or very altered. Came Back Wrong™ ohoho, imagine if some of the castle workers/maids etc used to be high ranked nobles and demons and they've done smth so wrong that lowered them to this. and they don't remember it?? and noone else does remember too. just some lost names. okay not to get far-

BUT LISTEN Barb has definitly done some conditioning bs out there you can not prove it otherwise. also, Mammon keeps getting punished by Lu and hasn't changed so imagine the pain those demons have to go through for that-

JSKSKAJ!! BARB IS HOT OKAY- HES SADISTIC. I live sadistic demon butlers . also the fact that he has a torture dungeon- and who says there aren't demons in the hidden prisons waiting for their turn? i imagine Barb would randomly take one, do the things™ and leave for the next few months. the second the demons think they're forgotten/ theyre doomed. its also not in order so yep more stress. so wha i was goimg to say is imagine a very sadistic and mentally ill™ mc whos very angry tortuing some " innocent" souls in the dungeons. also, I tend to imagine Barb has taught Lucifer a few forms of torture when he fell (cough, Believer cough-) so-

Barb is such an interesting character (like Sol) and the older fandom used to really put those aspects in mind but the newer fandom is stripped completely from darkfic. like. can we have more darkfic i am begging I want obey me whump I dont want mc angst i want mc whump i want these bad boys dying of pain and being saved the last minute i want more stories on devildom politics i want more dark! demons/dark! mc aus- like can we bring that back??? can we stop w 24/7 fluff/comfort/angst thats just mc's death ?? no hate to those but can we bring back the dark shit i want to see demons getting their asses whooped in barb's dungeon or Dia being manupilative af--😭😭😭

ok ok ill shut up now😂

There is so much happening in this ask, but for some reason I keep coming back to "HEEHEEE???? what are you Michael Jackson?" because wow that made me actually LOL for real.

I'm always going to be for canon divergence. I say do whatever makes you happy! Your MC must truly have their hands full learning all that stuff with Barbatos and Solomon. But like if you're gonna learn those things, might as well learn from the best, right???

The thing I like about Barbatos is that he is very versatile. They've kept him very mellow in the game, but he has so much potential to go dark if you want to write him that way. I mean they don't even confirm that he actually has a torture dungeon in the game... I'm pretty sure it's just Mammon who says he's rumored to have one. But like by leaving it open ended like that, we can speculate all we like about it, you know?

And traditionally, wasn't that the point of demons? Aside from tempting humans, they're supposed to torture souls, right? I mean, I don't know how accurate that actually is, but it's interesting to think about.

I'm not especially obsessed with torture and I think it's pretty clear from my writing that I'm generally on the fluffier side of things lol. But it's interesting to think about, especially considering the types of characters we're dealing with here. And I really like the exploration of morality and inner evil and that sort of thing when it comes to heavy stuff like torture.

I thought it was very interesting in Barbatos Live how he calls MC his good conscience. 'Cause in Tea Time with You, he very much indicates that he used to do crazy stuff all the time, but then the Incident happened and now he doesn't. So wouldn't his guilt over whatever happened be his good conscience, like it has been all this time before MC showed up? Is he saying that MC just makes him want to stick to that even more?

Though he also says that it's like demon nature to have some darkness, so I don't know if he's talking about his specific experience necessarily. It's more like he's saying he wants to fight against his own nature? I dunno.

OH DANG but I love that idea about the maids and such in the castle! Demons that messed up so bad, now Barb keeps them at the castle to work??? What was that about not giving into the darkness???? lk;asdfkjlfd

I'm afraid I can't really comment on the amount of darkfic present in the fandom at any given time... due to being a Fluffster Extraordinaire, I'm faaaar more likely to read sweet lovey romance fics than Barb torture dungeon fics. Which isn't to say that I don't like the Barb torture dungeon situation because I do indeed find it very intriguing lol. I'm just usually like yo I want that guy to bake for me and make me tea, I don't care what he does in his spare time.

In fact, I really like the idea of a sweet and doting house husband Barbatos that pampers MC all day every day while being a ruthless and loyal demon butler the rest of the time. Like the dungeon isn't a rumor but as long as he washes off the blood when he comes back, MC is like whatever lol.

Oh but I also like the idea of MC being just as bad as him, now that I think about it. Like MC isn't ignorant, they don't turn a blind eye, they are right there with him, actively participating. The torture couple aadsflkjdfkjldf

I dunno, I think I'm considering it in more of a humorous way than a serious way, though.

Anyway, it's fun to consider all aspects of Barbatos because he has so many facets! And I think it's fun to explore the different sides of him.

#I've just been feeling like I prefer MC to be a badass lately #so I think it'd be cool if they were just unbothered by it all #um okay I do feel like I need to cw this so #cw torture #tw torture #obey me #obey me barbatos #expressionless-fr #cc mutuals #misc answers

[percyjacksonfan3]

One thing that makes me scream about Eddie and Chrissy is how perfectly pining their relationship is to the point where it hurts.

Like I love how Eddie literally WORSHIPS the ground Chrissy walks on and cant deny her anything while she’s over here struggling with lots of insecurities and doing what she wants. Like thats cute enough as it is BUT it feels like people forget how much Chrissy must look up to Eddie.

He’s a god to her bruh. He has so much agency and identity, because of him she finally realises how much she WANTS and how deserving she is of it. And Eddie must be star struck when finding out about it because like? Her????? Chrissy fucking Cunningham looks up to HIM???? Which is why I love your fic so much. The part where Chrissy admits to being envious of him and him being like this girl is not what I thought she’d be like at ALL.

Like I just love the idea of Chrissy, looking up to him while also envying him, stupidly thinking she will never be able to be like him ”One day this boy will be on TV, as some famous rock star or something, and every single girl in Hawkin’s High who made fun of him will wish they’d gotten it with Eddie Munson at least once, including me” ITS SO SAD AND SO GOOD AND the chokehold these two have on me is insane holy shit

Oh catch me writing a whole meta in response to this because I am SO glad someone came to discuss this with me

Okay so yes, thank you, I'm really, really pleased that my reading of this two is hitting home with some of you guys because their entire dynamic obviously also has ME in a chokehold, so much that I've written an 100k+ word fic for them that explores it

Putting the rest under a cut because like I said, this got lengthy

I want to make it so entirely clear that these two? They admire each other SO much. For entirely different reasons.

Eddie looks at Chrissy and sees someone who he thinks is strong. Before he gets to know her maybe he thinks yeah, okay, she hangs out with a mean crowd and dates a total jerk so maybe that makes her the same way. She's never been like that to him personally, or anyone he's seen or heard of (at least in my headcanon, because in my mind Chrissy is genuinely a nice person) but you know, peer pressure isn't a huge problem for nothing and Eddie's all about trying to help people break out of conformity, so he probably looked at her before their meeting in the woods with a skeptical eye because she's meant to embody everything he rebels and fights against in high school.

But when he meets her he quickly realizes that no, Chrissy Cunningham really is a nice person, and what's more is that he likes her. Not the way he's been half crushing on her for years (which he's felt totally guilty and chastised himself for because what a cliche and he's not into self induced pain, which this unrealistic daydream obviously is), but Eddie actually likes the real Chrissy that he gets to know after the woods and her surviving Vecna. And to add to that, the more he learns about her and the different pressures she's under and struggles she has (her ED, her mother, her wallflower father, peer pressures, etc.), Eddie realizes that for Chrissy to go through all of that and remain as kind and brave and optimistically hopeful as she is, takes a kind of strength he's lowkey jealous of. So he looks up to her that way and, as you said, absolutely rallies behind her to be that whole meme where it's like 'kick his ass baby, I got yo flower'. And you just know if any of the Hellfire crew tries to give him grief for suddenly hanging out with the Head Cheerleader, Queen of Hawkins High herself he absolutely does not stand for it because he knows how much she's gone through to remain the wonderful person she is and goes to bat with them for her without a seconds hesitation

And then we have Chrissy. Chrissy who feels boxed in by the life she's conformed to and the expectations she's slowly drowning under, Chrissy who genuinely does love cheer but not the pressure that comes from it, especially from her mother, but also from the other students at school. Chrissy who doesn’t get the best grades, despite trying her hardest, and doesn’t care about going out to drink or party all the time, and who kind of wants to get out of Hawkins, even if it’s just for a bit, just to see what the rest of the world is like because she knows there’s more out there. Chrissy who feels a little guilty for all of those things because she thinks she’s letting people down.

Chrissy Cunningham knows about Eddie Munson, sure, but the same things Eddie assumes about her (one-dimensional, mean, intimidating from her social status), Chrissy assumes about him (one-dimensional, maybe a little mean, very intimidating from what she’s seen of the way he acts to everyone else at school). Yet within seconds of them actually sitting down and talking to each other she realizes that’s not Eddie Munson at all.

And that fear quickly turns to a little bit of awe and envy.

Because you’re absolutely right, nonny, the way I’ve written Chrissy is as somebody who’s so desperate to break out of her routine and finally live, live in a way that she wants instead of others. And because of that she looks at Eddie Munson, who listens to the music he likes even if nobody else has heard of it, and who believes in his passion so much that he’s not afraid to be in a band and play in public for anybody who will listen. This is a boy who is called a freak simply for indulging his own interests and Chrissy learns about who he is and realizes that he’s not mean, he’s not scary, he’s just another kid like her, only Eddie is brave enough to say “screw what everyone else thinks, I am not wasting my life on meaningless crap, I am going to be me.” And in my fic he’s inspiring Chrissy to start finally doing the same.

Chrissy’s entire character (and I’m talking in the show now, not my writing) was an amazing contrast to Eddie’s, and I don’t know if the writers intentionally made them parallel and mirror each other so much or if it was accidental. We barely got to know Chrissy, we have maybe three concrete scenes of character exploration with her, but there was enough hints to show why her and Eddie just fit together so, so well.

They’re opposites in so many ways, mostly on the surface, but in their core they’re the same. They care about people, they're bleeding hearts (don’t tell me Eddie didn’t look at Dustin and Mike and immediately think, oh, yes, these boys need somebody) and they’re both tired of the way things are. There’s so many more but I’m going to shut up now.

I just... the unexplored potential of these two is never NOT going to make me insane. I would pay money just to put Joe and Grace in a room together to get them to discuss these characters and the dynamics and backstory and relationships they incorporated into their acting, just because I find the final product so interesting. The way they played off of each other in that woods scene is a bit of acting that I cannot get over, and it is such amazing fanfic fodder for me as a writer to explore that I guarantee it’s half of the reason these two have taken over my brain for the last month.

Okay, I’ll stop it here, but thank you so much for this ask, as you can probably tell I had tons of fun with it. Character analysis is one of my favourite things so I apologize, nonny, because I know this probably is not the answer you were expecting or looking for, but I hope I didn’t drone on too much.

Thanks so much for reading put your lips close to mine, btw <3 I hope you like the ending I have planned

#woah boy i did not intend for this to become this long winded #again im sending the biggest thanks to anon because you really let me indulge in my edssy headcanons and how i see these two characters #i hope you don't mind #the loveliest anon to ever anon #chrissy cunningham #eddie munson #eddie x chrissy #chrissy x eddie #edssy #eddissy #put your lips close to mine #tagging the fic bc it's tangentially related

[my-castles-crumbling]

Dancer anon advice

Hi all! Someone wrote me about some advice, I'm just copy and pasting it here so I can add a 'read more' line and format it a bit differently than usual so I can keep my thoughts in order!

Italics is their writing

Bold is mine

i noticed ppl were using this blog to ask about stuff, so here goes ig?

(also im sorry this was going to be me asking about gender stuff but now its just kinda my life story 😭 if you dont want to answer this, you can just write a post saying like. dancer anon i dont feel comfortable answering this or whatever)

Ahhhh, you all need to stop apologizing! I never mind helping!

im afab, and i feel like i never really fit in with gender? like, i would always be so jealous of my feminine friends but i didnt feel good when dressing feminine myself

i also take dance classes (i started at around 6/7) and i felt like i had to wear all the skirts and shit because i wanted to be pretty like the other dancers, and i felt really terrible after a few years of that, because i hated how i looked in them and how i looked when i danced

(i also used to have a dance teacher whos hands were always cold and thats all i can remember about him but i really hated dancing with him and would get relieved when classes were over. ive hated dancing with boys/men ever since)

and it got like. really bad. i believe? (my memory is actually terrible. i cant remember anything for the life of me, so it could be my mind overexaggerating, but anyways.)

i would always ask for me and my teacher to just do stretching because i hated how i looked when i danced because i hated the skirts and everything because i hate my legs and how they look when bare. i hated attending dance classes because people would see me and see my legs and see how i looked and i felt terrible all the time (i think i was around 9 or 10 at this age?)

so one day i had a whole crying fit and my dance teacher told me that i dont have to wear skirts or whatever, i can wear pants and shit (i was so fucking relieved. istg. i now wear skirts to dance only like. couple times a year maybe)

and then soon enough covid happened! (also keep in mind that i grew up like. really sheltered. i did not know what gay people/transgender people were until i read fanfiction about warrior cats 😭)

and i was so delighted! because on distance learning, no one would see me and be able to judge me for how i dress or whatever

at around this time, my fear of everyone masculine really grew. its still there. im fucking terrified of all men. i cant help it. like every boy man masculine person. i get so scared. i hate it. i hate it so much

but then covid came to a halt, yk, school started again .-. i felt like shit, honestly. i didnt have ANY clothes i felt comfortable in. my hair felt too long and "feminine" and i wanted to cut it for the longest time. my clothes made me feel terrible. i hated how the leggings would wear on my legs and how my sweaters would show my body shape and how my butt looked (i still really hate how it looks. why is it big. i dont want it to be i hate it so much)

yeah so there i am, feeling dysphoric as shit (i did not know what that was, back then, by the way, but i believe thats what i was feeling)

didnt help that my only friend was a toxic, lying, manipulating bitch who led people on for fun and always expected everyone to worship at her feet

after a while, i discovered different labels! (bisexual was the first label i had for myself. i felt good with it, ig?)

and then i got to the gender situation. i used so many girl alligned terms because i was so scared of being percieved as the very thing i am terrified of (masculine ppl). i went through demigirl, girlflux, genderfae, genderfluid, i beleive, maybe somethign else too, because i wanted to stay connected to being a girl.

Okay so here, I want to ask, what's the reason to wanting to say connected with being a girl? Is it feeling like you are partially a girl? Not wanting to be connected to masculinity? Not wanting to let go of the 'girlhood' that you grew up with? None of these reasons are bad but I think thinking about this more might help you figure out your gender.

around this time i started doing leader steps for dance. the euphoria i felt. please.

ahhhhh wait! I do ballroom, too! I'm a follower, though. what's your favorite? I LOVE tango. Okay, sorry, I got distracted.

found out i was a lesbian, used nonbinary but with she/they pronouns and felt like shit whenever anyone called me she but didnt want to make a big deal about using they

ooo, okay here- asking for your correct pronouns isn't 'making a big deal.' it's asking for what you need and asking for respect.

found out i was aroace because "people actually find video game characters attractive?" 😭

thought i might feel better as a boy? cut my hair. i loved it so much (i still do) (that was may of last year) got baggy clothes. covered up my figure. did leader steps for dance.

over the summer i started using labels such as agender? which i feel like fits me?

anyway, thats the life story part, now for the part about what the fuck am i

i feel like shit whenever im called a girl or refered to with feminine terms. im not sure if it would classify as dysphoria or not, becuase i dont feel /that/ bad about it, but it still ruins my mood and kinda makes me want to cry.

okay so here's the thing. not 'feeling THAT bad' doesn't mean anything. Dysphoria is dysphoria. and this is dysphoria. Just because you're not throwing up in a corner doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid.

if my grandma calles me granddaughter, girl, whatever in russian, it automatically ruins my mood. makes me feel terrible. i hate it.

i dont feel as bad when my sister calls me her sister, though, for some reason.

Okay! So for me, I hate being called a lady, but I don't mind my wife calling me her wife. Again, this is all completely valid <3

when i get called by she/her i hate it so much. i dont want to make a big deal about asking for they/them - sometimes my friends remeber, sometimes they dont.

ive never tried he pronouns, dont think i want to.

they/them pronouns dont give me that much euphoria either, its just like. ok

Okay! Have you tried neopronouns? If you're not interesting in those, it could just be that they/them is what feels best. And that's okay, too!

another thing. my friend has another nonbinary friend. she always genders them correctly, but almost never me. it makes me feel like shit, like she cares more about getting their pronouns than mine, even though i know that thats not a good mindset and shit.

*loud buzzer sound* wrong. Your friend should be gendering everyone correctly, not just some people. Good friends care about making their friends feel comfortable, and this friend is making you uncomfortable. Would you feel comfortable talking to them about it?

also, heres some more on my fear of men because who doesnt love being scared out of their wits irrationally :D

my dance teacher had to leave to go back to where she lives, so they gave me a male teacher (i tend to only have female ones.)

i would be in tears every lesson. i felt like shit. (also i hate the sound of peoples voices and he would always be talking and i hate it so much because his voice, amongst others, is one of the ones that hurts my ears the most.) i even went to my mom to ask her for a change which helped ig? my new teacher is really nice and i love her so,,, yeah

Okay, I want to stop here to say- a lot of this has to do with gender, right? But this particular response seems to be rooted in trauma. Without prying too much, I am wondering if there is something that happened with a man or masculine-presenting person or people? You do NOT have to share with me, but this might be something to explore with a trusted person in your life. I mean, there is a chance it's gender-related, but in the most loving way, there seems to be something deeper going on here.

anyway, you dont have to answer this, i was going to just ask for help with labels and feeling like theres no correct label for me (i use agender now, for simplicity, because i dont feel connected to having a gender at all)

So I guess my question is, how do you feel about the agender label? When I looked up the definition, it seems to be defined as exactly what you described- someone not having a gender at all.

Also, remember that your gender identity and expression are two different things! You can identify as agender (or any of the other things you mentioned) and still choose to dress however feels most comfortable and use whatever pronouns feel most comfortable. There are no set rules except: do what feels most genuine and comfortable!

if you do want to answer this but dont want to use this large of an ask on your blog, just call me dancer anon, i will see and understand 👍

again, sorry for dumping all of this on you

ahhhhhhh don't be sorry, you are a wonderful human!

have a wonderful day

you, too! please message me if you want to talk more! <3

#ask #asks #ask cas

[luvjordie]

Wet Part 2

Find Part One: here

Summary: Steve is dedicated to making things right with you, though he doesnt realize he wants to emerge as more than friends

Warnings: Cursing, use of y/n, implied f reader ( if i messed up w prnouns, same as last time PLS LET ME KNOW), unedited, shitty ending, fighting, alcohol use, unedited asf

———————————

“Okay. We need to talk” Steve had a stern look on his face as he spoke to the girl in front of him.

“Do we though?” Not only was she making him nervous, but she was making the task impossibly difficult for him.

“Yes. I want to start with saying im so-“

“Youre sorry? Really Harrington, thats bullshit you just want to get in my pants” She said, oh so obviously holding back a laugh.

“Robin i swear to god.” Okay, In his defense, Robin did basically force him to participate in this practice argument with him.

“What? You we’re kind of a slut last time you saw her.” Ouch.. he thought. But it was true. Steve most definitely had not been known for his great reputation at ‘boyfriend’.

He was going to suggest that they try again, but before he could speak there was a slight tap on her window before Margo came tumbling into the room.

“BIRDIE! And Steve,” She glared over at him, “I think i left my drumsticks here yesterday, have you seen them? We kind of have a gig at Tommy Hagens pool party and the drummer just might need her drumsticks. Itd be kind of hard to back up Y/ns vocals if i didnt have them, I mean shes really good and has great projection, but she needs something to-“ If it wasnt obvious, Margo and Robin have the same rambling habit.

“Desk, ill be ready in a few. You going to Hagens party too Steven?” Robin asked, hopping off of her bed to help the latter in her search. She knew of Steves history of the boy, but she also knew that he wanted to be financially stable when he was older; and Steves father had made it pretty clear that if Steve cut off his connections, hed be left in the dust for real this time.

“Stop ‘full naming’ me asshole. But yeah I kinda have to. Didnt know you guys had a gig there, though .”

“Must’ve slipped my mind.,” Margo shrugged, but her and Robin gave each other a look that low key freaked Steve out, “Just hurry and go get ready and uh remember what we talked about. Thank you for m’ sticks Birdie, Im out.” Margo kissed Robin on the cheek, and crawled back out of the window less than elegantly. Who was going to tell her Robins parents were out on a couples retreat this week, and that there was no need to crawl out of the window? Not him thats for sure- No fucking way willingly hed sit through another five minutes of their sickening cuteness.

“You should go now too Dingus, party remember? Go get dressed, pick me up in an hour. Well go, have fun, get drunk, talk to Y/n/n. You know like in the good old days” She smiled, like she was up to something, pushing him out of the room slightly.

“The good old days? Really?” Steve was mildly unamused, but left the house all the same. Maybe getting a drink or two in him wouldnt be all that bad, Tommys parties were usually unorganized and chaotic, so he might not even run into Y/n. You know, when shes not on the big ass stage he knows Tommy rented, “just for her.”

———————————————————————

“Margs have you seen my glasses?” You called down from the stage, while Margo maneuvered herself around the few people that arrived early, in search of a beer, or like a caprisun or something. She had range.

“Gave em to Ajax” She yelled, still searching. Before you could turn around and look for the bassist, the glasses flew at you like a paper airplane. You were just barely able to catch them.

“Told you i could throw them up there, you immature ass.” Ajax muttered to Jonathan.

“I wasnt doubting you, dickwad. It was a statement.” Jonathan seemed to enjoy going to the parties where there would be a band playing, especially yours. Anyone else would think he just goes to get a glimpse up your skirt, but to anyone that knew him, it was clear he wanted practice for his future job of photographing rock bands. It was a diverse group of people you hung out with, really.

“Hey Henderson!” You looked up to see Tommy Hagen, the one throwing this party, waving at you from atop the diving board. Once you two made eye contact, he tried- really tried- to impress you with a jump. And it wouldve worked, if when he was about to jump in, a football didnt hit him in the ribs.

“OH SHIT-“ You exclaimed through a laugh, still glad to see that Tommy was able to resurface without needing CPR from Jason Carver.

“Oops-“ Ajax mumbled, as he and Jonathan slinked away together, laughing under their breaths. You shook your head in amusement, before placing the glasses on your head, and bending down to finish setting up the amps.

In no way were you into Tommy Hagen. He was an asshole, and it was pretty obvious that he thought of you as an accomplishment to add to his mental trophy case. Though, itd been a while since someone tried to impress you like that. Not who I wanted to have jumped into a 8 foot pool for me today. You thought, nearly laughing out loud at your own thoughts. HAH, scratch that. I bet he doesnt even remember we dated.

————————————————————————

“We’re late because of you, i hope you know that” Steve mumbled at the girl who was currently holding onto his arm for dear life. Robin enjoyed coming to these things sure, but she needed someone to hold onto in these crowds.

“Its not my fault, I swear. It was in my little green notebook except i think i left it in my overalls at my dad’s house, but the overalls were in my closet at my moms house so i was really really confused and then you came and i didn’t- HEY MARGO! Later Dingus.” Robins rant this time was about how they were thirty minutes late because she couldnt find the paper she wrote Margos favorite color down on. Sickening cuteness, he thought to himself.

Steve looked over at the stage that had been set up in the Hagens massive backyard, to see Ajax up there tuning his bass guitar, and Margo was off somewhere with Robin, but he couldnt see you anywhere. You know, until he did.

You were off by the punch bowl, looking slightly uncomfortable, in the way that nobody but someone whos memorized the way you smile when youre happy would notice. With Tommy Hagen.

—————————————

“Oh yeah, I mean, I leave sometime next week, so i dont think ill be able to make it.” You murmured, slightly annoyed that he wasnt getting the hint. Or that he didnt want to.

“Oh well thats alright princess,” you winced slightly at the nickname, “We can move it to tomorrow if youre free.” He smiled widely, raising his eyebrows as he waited for your response. Before you could turn him down, he spoke again. “Well look who showed, Steve Harrington, everybody. Did you know he was gonna be here princess? I didnt think hed actually show, you know hes kind of a wuss.” Tommy spoke loudly as Steve approached him, in an attempt to draw a crowd. One that worked.

“Oh come on, Tommy knock it off.” You said, trying to dissipate the situation before anyone did anything stupid. Steve and Tommy didnt have the greatest track record when it came to these things.

“Shut it, Hagen. Youre making her uncomfortable, knock it the hell off.” Steve said sternly, stopping a few feet from Tommy.

“Oh and you would know? I mean you guys dated for what a few months, before you dropped her for little miss perfect. Come on man you barely even know the girl, let alone what makes her uncomfortable. Hell i bet you dont even know what makes her comfortable, you know what really riles her up. Do ya Harr-“

Oh my fucking god.

“STOP GUYS STOP WHAT THE HELL- STEVE GET OFF OF HIM WHAT THE FUCK” You were yelling before you could even process what was going on. Steve was beating the absolute shit out of Tommy.

“DINGUS GET OFF OF HIM JESUS CHRIST” Now Robin was joined in on your yelling, along with the majority of the partygoers chanting ‘Fight Fight Fight’ or the occasional ‘Beat his ass Tommy’ and ‘Fuck him up Harrington.’

What the hell did he think he was trying to accomplish here

It wasnt long before the fight was broken up, Steve winning by a long shot, though he was definitely fucked up. You couldnt help the pang of pride you felt for him in your chest though, because according to Dustin filling you in on everything you missed upside down wise, this was the first fight hes won against a human since Starcourt.

It was still a pain in the ass to drag him to your car.

————————————-

Steve woke up to the soft sound of strumming in the next room over. He wasnt really sure of what the hell was going on, until he tried to stand up, and was hit with a horrible pounding in his head, and suddenly all his wounds felt fresh again. Though, technically they were still fresh . It had only been forty five minutes.

He kept a hand on his head, because he felt it was the only thing keeping him from passing out, and padded his way out of his room and into the guest room.

There, he found you singing.

‘You adored me before, oh my good looking boy.’ You sung, softly strumming, while still blissfully unaware Steve had woken up.

You were still wearing the makeup from earlier, purples and navy blues covering your face, to match the bands theme. Your hair was still styled like how it was in the video from the other day. You looked beautiful. Even if you were so clearly stressed out by Steves actions.

‘The skyline falls as I try to make sense of it AGH-“ Now you were aware of his presence. Steve winced at the loud noise, and you apologized quietly, placing your guitar on the guest bed.

“Did i wake you up?” You asked looking up at him as he stood against the door frame, still cradling his head with one hand.

“No, no, you didnt. Woke up on m’ own” He mumbled.

“Good. Now i get to me mad. What the hell were you thinking earlier Steve. That was fucking stupid, Tommy couldve gotten seriously injured, and so could you.” You scolded, grabbing his wrist harshly and dragged him to the bathroom.

“He was being a dick, he deserved it.” He said, as you pushed him against the counter until he got the hint to sit down.

“Move your legs really quick… And youve been a total dick recently, I havent beat the shit out of you.” You reached under the sink for the first aid kit, before standing back up and placing it on the counter next to Steves thigh.

“What do you mean Ive been a dick?” His eyebrows scrunched together when you started laughing. Because of course hed been a dick. Itd been four years, and he was still ignoring you like a twelve year old.

“Okay, okay, that was my bad. I have been a dick.”

“Clearly.” You smiled sweetly at him, before using the towel youd wet as you spoke to wipe the dry blood off of his face.

“Can I ask you something, Steve?”

“Yeah. Go ahead” He was thinking you were just going to ask what he was thinking when he hit Tommy, or something along those lines. Definitely not,

“Why did you break up with me?” He looked at you, straight into your eyes. He could tell, just by looking at you, that you were just curious. No tears, no annoyance, just pure curiosity.

“Honestly?,” You nodded slowly, “I couldnt deal. I mean I wasn’t exactly boyfriend of the century back then. You made me feel.. Light? In a way. Like I didnt have to worry about graduating, or getting a shitty job working for my dad, hell or even what people thought about me. I mean, my girlfriend was going to be a rockstar, “He smiled at you, “But i couldnt go through with it. None of it. I guess I was scared, and Nancy was the safest option, you know? Little miss perfect, is that was Tommy said? Yeah thats what I thought back then too. Its stupid i know, but it was safe.” Steve was looking at you, and the small smile on your face, and he couldnt help but laugh a little. “What-“ He laughed a little more, causing you to join in.

“Wait can i- sorry- Can i clean your cuts first? So you dont double hate me after this?” You said through a fit of laughter, reaching for the first aid kit again.

“Yeah, yeah go ahead.” He said, calming down a little in anticipation for the pain.

“Sorry sorry sorry-“ You said as he hissed in pain, eyes closed, with his head leaning into your hand.

“Its all good. ‘S all goodd” He said, looking up at you once more.

“Anyway. I was laughing because youre a total fucking idiot, Steve Harrington. I mean you just beat up Tommy Hagen at his own party, halfway through one of my gigs. Youre still best friends with my little brother, despite avoiding me for the last four years, and youve yet to try and embarrass me for writing songs about you. Youve changed Steve. Its freaky, if im being honest”

“You write songs about me?” He asked. Robin had told him that youd done it before, but he always just assumed they were old songs. From before.

“.. You didnt know?” Now your once curious, calm features, were nothing but pure panic.

“No?? I thought maybe youd met someone in LA, you know?”

“And it doesnt bother you? Like at all”

“I mean i kinda wish you told me, then i couldve asked this three years ago,” He chuckled lowly, grabbing the wrist of the hand that was holding his face lightly, “Can i, uh, could i ki-“ Before he could finish, he was cut off by your lips pressing against his. It tasted like your chapstick, strawberry flavored just as he remembered, and the punch from earlier, still tinged with a but of alcohol. You pulled away for air after a few moments, and the shocked look on Steves face kinda freaked you out.

“Sorry- Shouldnt have cut you off. Thats like, thats my ba-“ This time he cut you off, cupping your cheeks and lightly pulling you toward him.

“Dont be sorry. I should be sorry, I was going to start with sorry, but Robin said it would sound insincere or whatever” He murmured against your lips, causing you to laugh a little.

“I mean you were the one who suggested we kiss- Come on Steve, be better” You scolded mockingly.

“Yeah, yeah. But uh maybe we should tell her and Margo to stop, like plotting either our demise or our like borderline reconciliation-“ He laughed a bit, because it was so, so obvious that was their main goal in life then.

“Borderline? You are really bad at this, Harrington.” You laughed some more, placing a light kiss to his nose.

“Oh shut up, I know you missed me” He said, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Definitely”

a/n: not my best work but im still getting used to writing fanfic again, so im getting there 😭 post’s might be a little infrequent because cheer szn is starting agaim, but i am accepting requests, so if u have any lmkk🫶🏾 i write for steve, eddie, ethan landry, and robin rn (currently hyperfixated on stranger things and scream rn lmaoo)

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #x reader #henderson!reader #stranger things #rockstar au #stevie

[sunlightandsuffering]

I'm fiercely attracted to Cabin Eren because in my mind besides being a perfect husband, he's also the most buff version of Eren. Hobo Eren was living off rations as as an eldian living in the internment zone & Manbun Eren spent an entire month living in a jail cell. Both of them weren't eating well or doing much physical activity. Meanwhile you know for a fact Cabin Eren was eating full meals with Mikasa after spending the day, chopping wood, hunting, fishing, etc.

I bet he got so broad and beefy and Mikasa definitely loved it! Mikasa drooling over how much bigger he's gotten, how much more of the bed he takes up and how easily his body completely covers her when they fuck. Her just admiring his naked back in the morning before hugging him from behind trying to wrap her arms around him 🥰

OKAY U ARE SO RIGHT FOR THIS THO!! LIKE UR SO CORRECT ANON!! THATS WHY HE'S SO BEEFY!! This si so funny tho i was writing this in switch last night lol 😂

One thing about Eren that Mikasa has always liked is his gym obsession. 

It’s hot, there’s no sugar-coating it.  A boy who goes to the gym and works out is hot. 

Even hotter because it shows, shows in almost everything he does. Eren might be on the leaner side, not built like some of the linebackers he’s always yelling about on TV, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s a wall of solid mass these days. 

He’s built subtly and in a way she likes more than some of the massive guys she sees at the gym, getting a peak when he wears shirts and the sleeves stretch just a little tight around his biceps and the muscles of his back, leaving the lower part loose. 

It’s also in how confidently he can lift her up, not even flinching when he drags her onto his lap, throws her over his shoulder, how he manhandles her. 

God, it gives her the shivers just thinking about it, and he’s so much taller than her these days, she gets butterflies when she has to look up, when she can’t so easily brush her hands through his hair, has to stand on her tippy toes to tease him now.  It’s hot, he’s hot, and so Mikasa will take absolutely any opportunity offered to accompany him to the gym, even more so because Eren going to the gym is an almost otherworldly experience. 

As a resident gym rat Eren partakes in many gym rat things such as pre-workout and protein shakes and as Mikasa watches him dutifully from the kitchen counter, she counts her lucky stars that she gets to watch. 

He’s currently scooping a suspicious looking white powder into water for it to dissolve, wearing a t-shirt that’s stretched taut around his biceps, forearms on display as he mixes the substance into his cup.  “So, what’s that again?” Mikasa asks for the tenth time and Eren shoots her an exasperated smile, “Baby I told you it’s Creatine.” 

“That tells me nothing.”  He hums at her, shutting the large cannister and grabbing another one from the cupboard, now scooping a different substance into a blender bottle.  He humours her questions though, answering with more patience than she’d ever have, “It’s basically a supplement that helps me bulk up, good for muscle growth and if you’re going to the gym a lot people tend to use it.”  “But you already look really good,” she breathes shyly, the words almost unconscious as her eyes catch on where his biceps strain against his grey t-shirt. 

[andyis-sandy]

okay so, i just read this fic and it drove me insane.

ive been perusing through the kevin and jake centric fics on ao3 since i finished the show, because i like the different possibilities that their dynamic has. mixed with the dynamic between holt and jake, i think there are a lot of interesting ways the relationship can develop. and ive mostly been reading the more found family type stuff in that category, because im a sucker for that shit.

but this fic was absolutely insane. i will admit, i fucking love time loop/groundhog day type of shit in fics. but this one blew my mind (hah).

i will be talking more specifically about the fic below, so if you havent read it and intend to, be wary of spoilers.

theres something about the mental processes that kevin goes through, the manic speeding through days, the way he, over time, starts to become more and more comfortable with the reality of the things hes doing. the desensitization of it all. theres something sorta poetic about the way he processes things as the loops drag on.

at first theres determination. the attempts to stop the loop, playing all the scenarios. hes very methodical with it closer to the beginning. but the real fun is when he starts to get a bit "messier" with his days.

i love the scenes of kevin talking with murphy, the progression of it all as murphy seemingly remembers more and more of the previous loops.

hell, even before this, with jake remembering little things. one of my favorite little details is jake remembering how to play chess after the looped day of kevin teaching him, and branching off of that, the way that, subconsciously, the relationship between the two of them grows throughout the earlier loops. i like the subtlety of of, how its never called to attention in an obvious way. but theres a bond building there, the residual feelings bleeding through the loops.

but back to murphy. i love the way this pairings relationship builds throughout the story as well, the trust that murphy builds towards kevin as more looped days pass, and he remembers more from them.

but moving past that, more towards the idea as a whole, i really like the concept itself. its different than other groundhog day type things that ive read, in the way that eventually, youre fed the idea that whats happening isnt a time loop at all. that all these variations of kevin, in body at least, are different. thats its kevins original mind body hopping into these different realities. i love the way he realizes this, after all that hes done. after the "looped" day where he killed holt and jake himself, especially. the way that kevin is left to think over the consequences of his actions under the umbrella of this multiverse theory. the idea that he had left that version of the people he knew to deal with the aftermath of this murder-suicide situation.

i feel like i could definitely say more about all of this, but its long as shit rn, so ill just leave it at this. if youre into b99, read the fic, hell, even if youre not, you dont need to know much about it for this, just the basis that is already set up fairly well. its a good read, one of the best fics ive read in a hot minute.

#brooklyn 99 #b99 #fanfiction #NOT MY FIC