#but what if...i AM normally like this........................nightmare

[grantwilsonenjoyer]

The thought just struck me

Do you think anyone but the teens ever knew that normal watched his mum die? Because I don't think they'd mention it personally,

She's there, she's fine, the whole family is back together, finally, and the kids are all still in shock from this huge horrific fight, killing a man, and then becoming god for a second

So it's forgotten in the moment

And later they each remember it, but individually don't bring it up for whatever reason, link doesn't have the voice for it, Taylor doesnt think to mention it, scary is having a hard enough time bringing herself to tell her parents anything, let alone something she views as indirectly her fault (letting willy out in the first place)

And normal? Normal can't bring himself to ruin the good vibe in his family, his granddad is here, his parents are there, completely fine, uncle lark is doing better and getting on with grandpa Henry, hero is even spending time with him

How can he tell someone he watched willy murder the woman standing there in front of him, laughing at something lark said while he's washing up

Maybe hero finds out first, months later, maybe years, hidden under a duvet in the dead of night, they do this sometimes, when hero can't sleep thinking about her almost destiny, and normal can't sleep because of his destiny that was

And he whispers to her, very quietly, that sometimes he forgets that he'd brought mum back when he was god, some days he walks down stairs and instead of his mother eating breakfast or drinking coffee all he can see is the look on her face the moment she exploded into dust, sometimes he's not sure shes really their mother but is more like the build-a-bear hermie2, who is definitely a real person sure, but hes too similar to normals dead husband while too different at the same time

Or maybe it's scary who says it first

In one of the many midnight snack meetings she has with Terry Jr nowadays, they never talk much, usually just absentmindedly watch some TV while neither can sleep because of willy

She says that she feels guilty for a lot of things, and she knows she's not supposed to because willy manipulated her, but even when she can forgive herself for the active participation in tony pepperonis murder, she hasn't been able to forgive herself for causing Rebecca's death, and she's not sure she ever will

I love how will Campos can go an name a character Normal as if I'm ever going to have a normal thought about that boy ever also him and Hermie2 did date for a bit but had to break up because normal kept waking up screaming thinking he was back holding Hermies lifeless corpse byyyeeeeeeeeeeeedeeeeeeeeeeeee

HI SORRY I NEVER ANSWERED YHIS OOPSIES

and yea i think norm prob did not talk much abt what happened given that bec is still alive, and it's just kind of? brushed over at first?

i think he maybe doesn't even Realize it's still affecting him at first but every time he sees his mom laugh it makes him feel kind of sick. his fight-or-flight activates when they're having family time and she's not there, and at first he thinks it's just because he still isn't getting along with sparrow that well. and then one day he has a nightmare, maybe, or a panic attack, or Something. and it just clicks. he watched her die. she shouldn't be here, but she is, and so all of the love and grief for her can't even come out. it's all stuck in those few moments where she was gone, and so is normal, and so he can't quite believe that she's real unless he can actually see/hear her (and even then, sometimes it's hard)

BUT i do wonder if sparrow knows, given that norm chose to use the 'wish' on the throne to bring back her (&the rest of the ppl willy killed). and i think they worry abt it a lot, esp having gone thru the Same Thing (twice, if you count lark in oakvale) but norm obviously doesnt want to talk to them so they don't even know if they should try.. uaugh.

also norm and hero :(( i adore them i am cradling them so gently. The siblings ever.

+ ALSOOO scary . see this is extra crazy b/c obviously she is in a very similar situation as well with terry jr.. norm wanting to talk to scary b/c maybe she'll Get It but also being so worried that scary is going to blame herself even more if he opens up abt it.. what if i Died

+will campos wants me specifically dead i'm gonna GET him

#dndads #dndads s2 spoilers #normal oak #sparrow oak #scary marlowe #help girl now i need scary and norm comforting each other about their 'technically dead but also not' parents.. hmmm #we will see how much i want to write later LOL

[lunzi0]

“Greg always had a hard time adjusting when having new parents, every time he ran, they would never chase him to come back. But Vanessa did, and he realized at that moment that she really cared. And he now knows he doesn’t have to run to see if she loves him.”

This is related to my revisited nightmares fnaf AU, im sobbing at my own idea

#IM MAKING MYSELF SOB WHAT AM I DOING #wishing gregory and vanessa’s relationship were like this in security breach #someone in my comments on instagram said something that has made my sob even more #i’m so normal for these two #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #art #fnaf security breach #fnaf gregory #fnaf vanessa #fnaf au #revisited nightmares #fnaf art

[aroaceleovaldez]

once again thinking about the worldbuilding in the riordanverse of "names are power" / "belief is power."

The Tri were only able to become immortal through convincing enough people to worship them that it became true. Monsters and immortals only exist through continued belief, and if enough people believe that they're dead or gone then it becomes true, like Pan. Their varied forms exist and manifest as they're believed in and called upon. Names call attention and epithets summon aspects. They're acknowledgement. Belief. Putting a name to a concept creates it as an individual.

And that's so fascinating when you start applying it to demigods. How much of their abilities are based on belief in themselves, in expectations of each other, in their parents' expectations of them? We've seen mortal figures who became immortal in some form or another because they were remembered. Even the lares - ancestral house gods, who persist because they're remembered. They have a legacy.

At what point does a demigod achieve that status? Rumors and whispers about them so persistent that they slowly become true. "I heard that Jason Grace is the son of two gods, does that make him a god?" "I heard Percy Jackson defeated a titan single-handedly. That he can create hurricanes without breaking a sweat. That he can control blood." After awhile, after enough rumors, does it become impossible to tell where they end and the legends begin? Isn't that what being a demigod is; half-legend?

#pjo #riordanverse #analysis #i went a little prose-y there at the end but i am THINKING THOUGHTS #imagine being a demigod and knowing your EXISTENCE is slowing becoming warped because of others' perceptions of you! #Jason living on a pedestal his entire life and worrying so much that one day he's going to bleed ichor and his fate will be sealed #Percy recognizing that his powers are growing beyond his previous limits in ways that don't seem natural. don't seem right. #and he realizes what's happening and just has to hope the whispering quiets down and the rumors are forgotten so he can live a normal life #also the potential for demigod existential horror #becoming aware that You as a concept is slowly shifting. twisting. to match the perception others have of you #how TERRIFYING is that? like obviously it'd probably only go to an extent for most demigods cause half-mortal #but their powers? etc? SCARY #Percy being aware that his powers are becoming warped and trying to dissuade gossip about himself so it returns to normal #Nico who the more he's welcomed into the camps the more he finds himself being essentially declawed #his rough edges slowly worn away. his powers weakening and becoming less frightening. is it worth it? #and how difficult must that inherently make it for him to allow himself to be known? #and again. shaking Jason petrified that CJ is going to accidentally believe him into immortality. his worst nightmare.

[prince-liest]

I have officially hit a "too stressed to write" state of affairs that I suspect will last until this Sunday. Kinda hoping folks aren't too disappointed in the sudden change in regular update schedule - sorry. :(

#personal #if anyone ever asks me to be in a wedding party again I'm just going to tell them to get the fuck out of my house at gunpoint #normally I wouldn't feel bad about taking a writing break but I don't like leaving chapters hanging orz #but we're at “creative juices dead and also having stress nightmares” which funnily enough are my two major flags #for “hey bellamy! you are stressed!” for when I gaslight myself into forgetting that I am indeed capable of being stressed #at least my stress is on a schedule sigh #at least this particular aspect of it which is tipping things over into “too much” #dear diary #you know what i DO have spoons for however?? #binge watching the handmaid's tale #boy does THAT put some perspective on how nice my life is lmaooooo

[tearlessrain]

transphobes always make us sound so much cooler than we actually are. I wish I was some kind of society-toppling satanic eldritch abomination with an incomprehensible physical form instead of some guy who just spent his evening watching youtube videos about weird bugs and eating gardettos

#why is all bug drama just fucking nightmare fuel #they're all out there mind controlling each other and cooking each other alive and eating each other from the inside out #they're committing cannibalism and matriphagy and whatever is up with those beetles that are born pregnant #it's like if x-men was a horror series #that's not even getting into what fungi do to them #everything about bugs and how they live makes me question the existence of a loving god more than any personal misfortune ever could #this has gotten somewhat off track #but I am perpetually haunted by the knowledge that billions of insects are experiencing unthinkable horrors every day #and it's just normal for them

[wonder-worker]

I've been thinking about the tragedy of Elizabeth Woodville living to see the death of her family name.

I don't mean her family with her husband, which lived on through her daughter and grandson. I mean her own.

Her sisters died, one by one, many of them after 1485. When Elizabeth died, only Katherine was left, and she would die before the turn of the century as well.

All her brothers died, too. Lewis died in childhood. John was executed. Anthony was murdered. Lionel died suddenly in the peak of Richard's reign, unable to see his niece become queen. Edward perished at war. Richard died in grieving peace. For all the violence and judgement the family endured, it was "an accident of biology" that ended their line: none of the brothers left heirs, and the Woodville name was extinguished. We know the family was aware of this. We know they mourned it, too:

“Buy a bell to be a tenor at Grafton to the bells now there, for a remembrance of the last of my blood.”

Elizabeth lived through the deposition and death of her young sons, and lived to see the end of her own family name. It must have been such a haunting loss, on both sides.

#(the quote is by Richard Woodville in his deathbed will; he was the last of the Woodville brothers to die) #elizabeth woodville #woodvilles #my post #to be clear I am not arguing that the death of an English gentry family name is some kind of giant tragedy (it absolutely the fuck is not) #I'm trying to put it into perspective with regards to what Elizabeth may have felt because we know her family DID feel this way #writing this kinda reminded me of how I am just not fond at all about the way Elizabeth's experiences in 1483-85 are written about #and the way lots so many of the unprecedentedly horrifying aspects are overlooked or treated so casually: #the seizure and murder of two MINOR sons and the illegal execution of another; #her sheer vulnerability in every way compared to all her queenly predecessors; how she was harassed by 'dire threats' for months; #how she had 5 very young daughters with her to look after at the time (Bridget and Katherine were literally 3 and 4 years old); #how unprecedented Richard's treatment of her was: EW was the first queen of england to be officially declared an adulteress; #and the first and ONLY queen to be officially accused of witchcraft #(Joan of Navarre was accused of her treason; she was never explicitly accused of witchcraft on an official level like EW was) #the first crowned queen of england to have her marriage annulled; and the first queen to have her children officially bastardized #what former queens endured through rumors* were turned into horrifying realities for her. #(I'm not trying to downplay the nightmare of that but this was fundamentally on a different level altogether) #nor did Elizabeth get a trial or appeal to the church. like I cannot emphasize this enough: this was not normal for queens #and not normal for depositions. ultimately what Richard did *was* unprecedented #and of course let's not forget that Elizabeth had literally just been unexpectedly widowed like 20 days before everything happened #I really don't feel like any of this is emphasized as much as it should be? #apart from the horrifying death of her sons - but most modern books never call it murder they just write that they 'disappeared' #and emphasize that ACTUALLY we don't know what happened to them (this includes Arlene Okerlund) #rather than allowing her to have that grief (at the very least) #more time is spent dealing with accusations that she was a heartless bitch or inconsistent intriguer for making a deal with Richard instead #it also feels like a waste because there's a lot that can be analyzed about queenship and R3's usurpation if this is ever explored properly #anyway - it's kinda sad that even after Henry won and her daughter became queen EW didn't really get a break #her family kept dying one by one and the Woodville name was extinguished. and she lived to see it #it's kinda heartbreaking - it was such a dramatic rise and such a slow haunting fall #makes for a great story tho

[floralcrematorium]

Hetalia vs. Hurricanes

you ever do something you can't explain? yeah. don't ask why i did this, i can't answer

when it came to heta characters, i only used characters who seemed to have solid "official" names given by himaruya. therefore i left out characters who have a list of potential names (like Norway and Denmark) or characters with popular fanon names (like how you see Michelle for Seychelles, Olga for Ukraine, or Lili or Erika for Liechtenstein)

if there were characters who had a different spelling of a name on the list (Francis -> Frances, Feliks -> Felix, and Eduard -> Edouard), i still included them

#hey. what the FUCK is wrong with me #specifically remembering in 2014 when people edited england's face onto hurricane arthur that made landfall in NC on july 4 #i remember the USUK shippers having a field day with that #i made an artist's rendition of the edits i saw for frankie but i'm NOT posting that publicly i. the shame. the repressed memories. #all i have to say to ^ is what the fuck #in 2017 there actually was a tropical cyclone alfred in the northern australia basin #i just stuck to the northern atlantic basin though #anyway clearly i am very busy today #i like making spreadsheets and data collecting and now i've used it for evil #tbh there are probably mistakes i am very tired #i'm so sorry #hetalia #ヘタリア #hws #floralcrematorium is normal and cool #ne ne papa echoes in my nightmares

[ratgirlcopia]

ugh i want the ghovie to have a narrative so bad. i'm genuinely obsessed with the little subgenre of cringe comedy the impera-era chapters have crafted. if copia's self-esteem wasn't so low it wouldn't even be cringe comedy, it'd be, like, a wacky cast of characters + straight man type of thing. but instead you have somebody with so little self-esteem that they'll blame themself or accept blame for failing a social interaction even though it is obvious to the viewer that pretty much every social interaction they have is with comically self-obsessed weirdos who approach everything in bad faith.

#copiaposting #like. copia is an awkward person who makes bad jokes and isn't great at talking to people. #but quite literally none of the nightmare social situations copia experiences in the chapters are because of this. #and when i tell you i am OBSESSED with that. #it's such a fun subversion of what you'd normally expect from cringe comedy and i love it. #cringe comedy that comes not from the protagonist failing to recognize how awful they are but. #instead from failing to recognize how awful their surroundings are. #if it was presented as more serious than it is it would genuinely be very very dark. #but it stands on that line so well. #i think it could stand to push it a little further while maintaining the comedy though. and i kind of hope that it will. because i love it.

[lesbiradshaw]

the scene of liam collapsed onto the forest floor in front of scott sobbing about how he’s scared of what’s happening to him not because of the fangs or the claws but because he thinks his parents already view him as a monster breaks me a little inside every time.

#its so integral to who liam is to me like hes so scared of failing people and part of him being quick to anger #is his habit of always being mad at himself before he can be blamed by anyone else #all of liams s4 arc really like. the ‘are you mad at me’ scene w dr g. #him always just trying SO HARD even when it makes him come off as cocky or arrogant #mentions of dr g training with him to bond over lacrosse #the ied scene in the shower where hes so quick to assure them he can do things despite his diagnosis #him backing out of helping scott save brett and saying hes not like him :( #scott and kira looking at him while he’s unconscious and talking ab how young he really is #him repeatedly saying he deserves the bad things that happen to him #the well scene. the way he clings to scott after #scott coming up behind him and touching his shoulder on the stairs #him not being able to sleep with the lights off #like its canon hes afraid to sleep in the dark because he has nightmares i feel ill #anyways #i am not feeling normal aboht him tonight #also him crying about his parents seeing him as a monster and not wanting to uproot their lives again bc of what he is #oooooh as a closeted person that got me right where it hurts #anyways! #liam dunbar

[apollo-zero-one]

Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....

#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!! #or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing #NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years #waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line #mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker #you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy #victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know #you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and #doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's #life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze #manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head? #This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and #poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy #she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he #said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch. #No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings. #bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk #that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!! #and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck. #Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he? #was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements #and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm #and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word #choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board. #Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself?? #'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person #how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person?? #Are you just living in some other reality??? #callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me #im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason

[piplupod]

hate waking up scared for no apparent reason. girl what do u mean im scared of going to my old lady yarn group !!!!!

#i have to force myself to go because otherwise i will be very mentally unwell in like three days bc i didnt socialize w non-family fdsjkl #this group of elders is the thin thread keeping my sanity intact i swear to god fhdsgjkl i would be so much more unstable without them #im not stable by any means but like... u know HFDSJKL #i am assuming i had some trauma nightmares last night that Kam's tucked away out of reach bc thats usually whats happened- #-when i wake up feeling this way. BLEGHGHHH #i have like... this terrible feeling the past few days that smth is about to break and crash down on me #but i cannot let it stop me from going to the group fsdkl i need to interact w someone who is not [redacted] #(redacted because i cant think of a light-hearted way to label Le Abuser rn so HEEHOO honks my clown nose and scuttles away) #giving a thumbs up with a big strained smile and pretending everything is okay and fine and i am sooooo normal and not feeling [redacted] #ITS OKAY ITS FINE i am just going to keep my head down and keep trudging forwards. gotta pretend the emotions do not exist dsjkfl #i've got art to make and blorbos to think about and sunlight to appreciate and elders to socialize with and stories to share !!! #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[goldentigerfestival]

The 30 day Tales challenge... in one post or else it would never get done!

Favorite Tales game: Legendia

Favorite Main Male Hero: Yuri and Senel

Favorite Main Female Hero: Kohaku

Favorite Side Male Character: Moses

Favorite Side Female Character: Stella

Favorite Canon Pairing: Senel/Stella + Shing/Kohaku

Favorite Non-Canon Pairing: how official is stahn/leon at this point i wonder

Favorite Opening Song: Destiny

Favorite Location: ??? idfk the entire Legacy??? I'll go with Werites Beacon for simplicity I guess. feels like home

Favorite Mascot: Giet. don't tell me he's not a mascot, I'm not listening. (and if you want to try having that discussion my answer is still the Oresoren so we're not getting far, are we)

Favorite Monster: ??? also dfk, probably something cute except i don't like hurting cute so i guess we're stuck

Favorite Boss Battle: UHHHH listen it hurts to say but Vicious; bc the raw emotion that went into that entire storyline ate me whole

Favorite Villain: since I'm avoiding antagonists here (such as Duke who aren't explicitly villains) and prefer to go full villain, Creed.

Least Liked Character: not opening THAT can of worms!!! :D

Your First Tales Game: boooo boriiiing. Symphonia like the other half of the western population. no fancy answer here

Your Favorite Scene: ??? I mean, there's... a lot I guess??? Stahn pleading with Leon moments before disaster??? Kanata crying that Vicious was okay and came back to them??? Moses saying literally anything ever in any scene ever??? the end of Innocence but when you choose Spada as your soulmate bc I'm a bias little fuck??? anything with Yuri and Flynn being happy together??? the entirety of Legendia???

Funniest Scene: idk but it either had Moses in it, Vicious in it, or it was Spada's "I can't believe you mixed up Frosty the Snowman with the Abominable Snowman"

Saddest Scene: Moses' Character Quest cutscene (if not the whole fucking CQ), moments during disaster with Leon, moments during disaster with Asch

Favorite Quote: a lot of stuff Vicious said ngl. can't think of nor pick one off the top of my head but every time he Gets Serious it's one of those and I fall in love further every single time. but if we wanna be REEEALLY simple? "Yeehaw". thanks, Moses. maybe Yuri has said something cool enough to get on the top list, but I'm not sure anything is trumping "yeehaw", and maybe that's equal to something Vicious said

Favorite Piece of Gameplay Music: Scutum - Decisive Battle. Pour one out for Rebirth having the fucking BEST battle theme ever.

Most Shocking Reveal: ??? I'm... not sure at this point. Giet??? was it Senel??? maybe Mathias and Ruca??? Ratatosk and Emil??? I kind of want to say Ratatosk and Emil because I remember being very impressed with the direction of the plot, in that the main protagonist/player character was actually the villain the whole time that the antagonist was trying to kill the whole time. definitely not a plot direction you usually get in JRPGs. Giet's story still hit like an entire brick building 100 storeys high falling on me though

Favorite One on One Fight: that was actually FUN??? uhhh idk Vicious against Kasque. what did you expect me to say???

Favorite Skit: way too many skits to have even a semblance of an idea. I'm going to assume it was either something related to Yuri and Flynn, Moses, Vicious, Spada or Stahn. that's about the closest I can pinpoint

Favorite Tales Spell: I don't... think I have one...

Favorite Tales Weapon: -bangs fist on desk and gets really obvious really fast- BLOOD SINS, BLOOD SINS, BLOOD SINS. after that the Swordians

Tales World You Want to Live In: honestly Legendia's and Graces' seem the most reasonably normal compared to the rest, but also shiny fingertips and Moses is a pretty solid Legendia

Favorite Animated Tales Series/OVA: (don't say rays don't say rays don't say rays don't say stahn/leon) probably First Strike if only because it focuses on Yuri and Flynn who I love, but Abyss' anime was very solid compared to the other Tales animated series that were just heavily condensed versions (or worse in Eternia's case, not even being relevant to the main story). like, I would not recommend the animated series to anyone prior to playing the game except for Abyss, which is the full major story and I have inarguably rewatched that anime more than I've played the game. I guess in terms of general animated, FS, but in terms of actual consistency to the game it came from and dedication it had in retelling the story faithfully without skipping 80 percent of it, Abyss

Favorite Tales Outfit: RICHARD??? HEEEELLO??? not arc F though that shit is too fruity for me. also Leon has VERY enjoyably bright colors that make him stand out and as a Very Deeply Definitely Not Obsessive Leon Enjoyer, I very much love that. Aegis also has a really nice outfit. Asbel's is pretty but definitely not Richard level of I'm obsessed with this look

Favorite Game Plot: -breaks everything in your room and your neighbor's room for good measure- TURN IT BACK ON NAMCO I'M PAST MY LIMIT SO I'M PROBABLY IN OVERLIMIT (Crestoria. it's that or I'm saying Legendia again. Innocence and Hearts both are really close runner ups tho!!! definitely the most unique in the franchise imo out of the mainline games and sadly confined to "nobody fucking cares about them and never did")

Favorite Game Ending: so that's got... layers. it really depends on the sub topic. I guess in terms of a happy ending, Graces (the Wii version specifically, getting Richard back. don't really care for the ending of arc F and lean more toward disliking it). in terms of a depressing fucking ending that makes me Very Upsetti, Destiny. there is literally nothing happy about Destiny's ending for me. like yeah we saved the world, but at a LOT of cost and it's just depressing. I've wanted to make a post about that anyway, but basically it's a type of ending they don't really make anymore (especially in Tales), and the emotional impact for me was a lot heavier than the other games, with Destiny 2 lingering right behind it. both Destiny games were just DEPRESSING, and no matter how bittersweet Destiny 2's ending was, it's still DEPRESSING. Vesperia at least had a more outright happy ending (that wasn't completely changed by a post game ending arc with a totally different ending) and I finally at that point didn't lose my favorite character to Certain Final Boss Death or Recurring Side Character I Came To Love Dying Unceremoniously and Undeserved. only a couple of top favorites actually came out of their games alive for me by Vesperia in terms of games I know + release timeline (to put it into perspective, by the time of Vesperia in release order (so not the order I played in bc I don't really remember the whole actual order at this point), out of all the games I know, my favorite character death toll was five to three survivors not counting Vesperia. still haven't played Eternia so I'm not counting that one). so I guess like, my answer is a whacky combination of Graces for the Wii, Destiny and Vesperia. maybe if Hearts hadn't killed my mans off then it could've had it all. 😔

#GTF Thoughts #GTF Things #Tales 30 Day Challenge #mainly doing this in case anyone has Same Hat Opinions and wants to talk abt them LOL #for number 22 it was also fun using his new form. normally one on one battles are either #annoying or just a nightmare. or just outright unwinnable by scripted plot (ex Senel and Melanie) #as far as ''canon'' ships go that's also a can on worms i am NOT opening until society can accept that gay ppl actually exist :) #anyway have i properly established my love for legendia now? for crestoria? for moses? for vicious? #i post abt them a lot less bc the amount of content out there for like #vesperia and abyss which i tend to post reblogs of most is WAAAAAY beyond higher #it's kind of like... the less i talk abt it and the less content it has... the more likely i WANT to talk abt it and LOVE it #i could talk to you about moses and spada ALL FUCKING DAY but most ppl haven't played either game or don't care for them #and also i usually stay quiet abt moses bc ONCE THOSE GATES ARE OPEN YOU'RE NOT SHUTTING THEM #moses leon vicious and spada are like... the ones i would love to talk abt nonstop forever #bc they're talked abt a lot less. leon IS popular even in the west but your average tales fan #is not going to know destiny/that it exists or have played destiny or even care to from my experience #i ramble abt what faves i can basically LOL but many of my actual top of the top faves are so obscure that like #i can't find ppl to talk to abt them. yuri is in a very very weird place with my faves #bc my technical favorite in that game is duke but yuri gets senel level position of fave mc #and is also Very Special to me so he's in a weird place as a favorite that #in some ways passes Actual Favorite Duke and in other ways doesn't

[theygender]

*checking the tracking information for my package from under a pile of overpriced teas and vitamins* this next herbal supplement will fix me

#g o d what is up with my brain thats been making everything so hard recently #like. im in a job that im MUCH happier with now and loving it. im no longer living a waking trauma nightmare as a call center sup #...why is my brain acting like im forcing it on a trek through fucking mordor just trying to get through a normal day at work #im on break from school. why am i not able to do any of the things that i wanted to do during the semester but was too busy for #why am i not able to do anything that i want to do and if i DO manage to do it why am i not able to enjoy it #why am i living like every moment of my life in fear that im wasting my time or doing something wrong or not good enough #and like i KNOW the answers are adhd and depression and anxiety #but my buddy. my pal. @ the wrinkly fleshy thing in my skull #im on 6 different psychiatric medications with a total of up to 11 individual pills per day. im actively in therapy and have been for years #and my life is currently much better than it maybe has ever been! WHY am i still struggling so hard 😭 #like i know recovery isnt a straight line and etc etc but like. it just feels like im doing everything im 'supposed' to do so what gives #so. gonna start drinking more plants i guess and see if that helps. im already on some that seem to help but i think i need more now #bc im having a bad time in my brain prison tbh :( #im not even like upset typing all this out either im just like. bewildered. incredulous. exhausted #lets hope this new overpriced tea fixes me i guess #rambling

[meatmensch]

The people that have abandoned me really need to stop talking to me like they have any right to tell me what to do, or I swear to God, I'm gonna get the FUCKING hammer.

#inspired by my bitch of a mother sending me a text that basically said u need to get ur life together #as i always say! LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST STONE! #this woman's life is a dumpster fire #and she specifically said 'i won't financially support u. i'll always be there for u but that's a conditional statement' #which is INSANE because that don't make no sense AND she has NEVER financially supported me? genuinely why does she think she has any #fucking right...😭😭😭 #meanwhile. my dad. during the shitstorm that has been my family's existence lately. is being way more lax about me getting a job and moving #out than he has been in the past. because some fucks despite being shitheads aren't total assholes #this post is also inspired by my insufferable sister who fucked off to another fucking continent when i was 7 and treats me...well. exactly #how u would expect an upper middle class dumb jock to treat her awesome nerd little brother. and is always telling me i'm making #the wrong fucking decisions and judging me. #these ppl r so funny bc they think this is normal and that i will endure it bc the power of love or what the fuck ever. wrong! i have been #on the brink of cutting off my entire family since i was fourteen. now that i actually have the power to do some cutting off i'll be honest #i feel pretty great #it is all of course a horrible nightmare and i wish things were different etc etc etc. but in the words of supernatural. i was always going #to end up here. #while i am thinking about such things what's my other sister's deal? she has not reached out to me for years. it was like i turned 18 and #she was like ok who cares abt this dude now #which was incredibly bizarre and makes me feel like a stupid idiot who did something wrong but i know i didn't. and she was always the most #supportive of my siblings. i don't know what her problem is #in her defense her life has been weird lately. but 'lately' has lasted long enough that it's just her life now. and whenever i try to be th #one to reach out she basically gives me...nothing. #while i am thinking about such things i will acknowledge the slays. my one totally kickass sister who is the only other one of my siblings #who understands anything. i am rly grateful for her and she has been so good to me for so long especially during the recent shitstorm #she is moving very far away and that has brought up my abandonment issues but i genuinely am so happy for her and her family and she is ver #adamant about me visiting and PAYING for the visit (or at least doing the scamming that pays for the visit so i don't have to pay lol) and #making sure i'll be ok. #it's not all bad! i am going to be ok! there r so many people in my life who love me and love me in a way that makes sense to me and doesn' #make me feel like the world's worst man #personal log

[hobbinch]

When I was like 16 I went on a school-led trip to Japan that turned out to be pretty fucking traumatizing despite all the good times I had. I recently got printouts of all the emails between my parents and the ppl running the program in a pile of old schoolwork and it's SO fascinating and Illuminating. They were Not giving accurate info in terms of when I'd be chaperoned (they said I always would be) and if I was ever left alone in public (I was). I *am* super grateful to my actual Japanese teacher because I can see how hard SHE tried to make sure I was protected and my parents got thorough communication, but the rest of the trip organizers were such shitshow that could only go so far.

#i am also reflecting more and more on what a Normal Authority Figure Mrs. K was to me in some really vulnerable situations and SO grateful #like its a nightmare of context that I'm SO grateful someone didnt take advantage of me and was Normal to me #but also holy fuck it could have gone much worse than it already did

[max-nico]

Do you guys think if I turn my nightmares into hurt/comfort fanfiction I'll stop having them or do you think it would make it worse? Be honest

#sth #<- bc thats what i write for the most #fanfiction #fanfic writing #writing #listen i just want it to end #ive had nightmares almost every night for the past 4 years #normally i have them like 5/7 days a week so i get some sort of reprieve #but i haven't had a no nightmares sleep in.... so... so long..... im so tired #i fear it is because i have a lot on my plate. i am experiencing stress levele unknown to man but like. #it is what it is #im only making this post bc i woke up with the phantom pain of getting stabbed and that wasn't cool #im very tired #i have the mic