#but when someone still used she/her pronouns even tho i know they knew about how i changed is just hh

[leqonsluv3r]

picnic date with Leon 🥺

love

re2!leon kennedy x f!reader

— a oneshot (request)

warnings: so much fluff it’s kinda gross, a little touching, mentions of sex, reader is female and uses (she/her) pronouns, leon is the best boyfriend ever and we love him for that, no physical description of reader except that she has hair, pet names (baby, sweet girl, etc.) based heavily on love by lana del rey (leon is lana coded bc i say so).

“she didn’t know what else to expect to her already worse work week, besides the papers that always seemed to pile up on her desk and swarm her like a colony of hungry bees. she hated her job, wanted to slap her boss and her co-workers. so how could this week get any worse? she thinks it will when her phone buzzes with a text from leon, only to find out if she wants to go on a picnic date this weekend. suddenly, her week just got better by a thousand percent.”

— or reader is having a terrible week and leon decides to spoil his favorite girl

an: thank you for the request, i loved writing something that wasn’t pure smut for once. did include a little seggsy tho (i can’t resist). gave my overworked brain a little vacation lol. i took your idea and ran with it, hope you enjoy <3

masterlist taglist

she actually hated her boss. hated him.

aside from spilling coffee on herself this morning before she left for the office, she had a thousand reports on her desks and emails flooding her work inbox. her boss went on a rant about her work performance and the fact that he was almost using his superiority as a manager to make her feel belittled was enough to send her blood pumping through her veins.

but mindlessly, she tried to get through her day. taking deep breaths and trying not to freak out on her boss. only did her day get worse when she overheard gossip in the break room.

“i hear she’s like some prude. her boyfriend only touches her when he’s drunk.”

she listens in on the gossip, pouring herself some coffee that hopefully won’t make its way onto her pencil skirt again. she wondered who they could possibly be talking about so openly in the middle of the day in the break room.

the other voice goes on, one of her coworkers that she knew from working here so many years, “that’s not true. i know her personally. she told me she’s waiting for marriage.”

her ears perk up at this, all the blood draining from her face, she knew they were talking about her now. her worst fears have been confirmed. she should’ve never stupidly trusted someone she worked with to keep such information about her relationship with leon, private.

she felt so stupid. but they kept going and she kept listening. the other women who she didn’t know opened her mouth again, “still, how much of a prude do you have to be to wait until marriage? like just fuck and get it over with already. unless he’s ugly…”

she feels anger rise in her like tsunami. leon? ugly? he could never be ugly. he was so fucking beautiful. how could this random woman even say that about her and her relationship without even knowing her? she kept her back turned and waited for the coworker she was more familiar with to say something.

“he’s actually quite a looker. shame she got her hands on him, if i had a man like that. i would fuck him until he couldn’t see straight.” she fisted her porcelain coffee cup with white knuckles, almost fuming and waiting for steam to pour out of her ears. jesus, she wanted to smack this woman silly, she considered them friends and now she was just so openly bragging to another woman of the company…that she wanted to fuck her boyfriend of two years.

she fumed and briskly left the break room with her coffee, slamming the door to the room shut behind her as she briskly walked back to her office, trying to keep up a demeanor that was professional and meanwhile she was seething on the inside.

she finally reached her office and went inside, slamming the door as she rounded her desk and sat her cup of coffee down on it. she leaned her elbows on her desk, burying her hands into her hands.

she wanted to cry, this week had been terrible and today was one of the worst out of all of them. and she needed to manage to get through it until after tomorrow.

thanking god it was thursday, one more day and she wouldn’t have to think of this place for a solid 48 hours. she took shaky breaths, trying to calm herself so she didn’t cry at her desk at work. she was still fuming from hearing that conversation in the break room about her personal life.

eventually, her phone buzzed on her desk and she looked down at her phone. she sighs and shakes her head, praying it’s not another report or upset client. she can’t handle anymore of that today, or this week for that matter.

she grabs her phone and looks at the contact, it was leon, she sighs in relief and smiles as she opens the text thread, looking at the screen.

LEON <3 : hey baby, just wanted to check in on my break. hope your doing okay, know it’s been a rough one for u.

besides wanting to cry at my desk all morning. first my boss says my reports are useless and utter shit. then i hear two of my coworkers gossiping in the break room about me like it’s no big deal. i hate this place, this week has sucked :(

LEON <3 : whoa, what? oh my god. are you okay? i know that’s so stupid to ask considering everything u just told me but…god. i’m so sorry.

no, i’m humiliated. i feel like stabbing my eyes out with my pencils at my desk. i hate this place, i hate everyone. minus u ofc <3

but seriously, i can’t wait to get through tomorrow and just be done with this place. even if it’s for two days.

LEON <3 : hmmm, that reminds me. do you still plan on coming over on friday night?

uhhh, yeah. considering i haven’t seen you all week. unless your canceling on me. which just makes me wanna cry more :,)

LEON <3 : oh god no, fuck that. i would never cancel on you baby. i just have an idea. and i was wondering if you would like it, considering how stressful and overwhelming your week has been.

i’m listening….

LEON <3 : you still come over on friday night, you pack a change of clothes and we go for a picnic on saturday. i know a good spot. and plus, im a good cook.

you don’t have to…

LEON <3 : but i WANT too. i wanna make my girl happy after having such an awful week. you need this baby. don’t bother arguing with me >:)

fineeee i suppose i could pack an overnight bag, stay the whole weekend at your place. go on a little picnic and ACTUALLY enjoy myself for once.

LEON <3 : that’s the spirit my love :). don’t worry, i’ll take care of you this weekend. don’t stress and don’t worry. trust in your amazing boyfriend ;)

you are an amazing boyfriend. don’t let that boost your already enormous ego though lol. god, i miss you so much. i can’t wait to see you. :,)

LEON <3 : you only have a little less then 48 hours to go before you see my handsome face again. don’t worry your pretty head baby, i’ll make you forget all about this week. spoil the absolute shit out of you. <3

okay, i gotta get back to work before my boss comes in to belittle me some more about phone usage at work :,). i’ll see you soon babe, i love you.

LEON <3 : see you soon beautiful girl, i love you too. gotta go bust some criminals lol. ttyl :)

she sighs in content, a lovesick grin on her features. she felt so much better, just talking to him through text even. it was enough to make her heart swell with love and forget all about the incidents this week.

she couldn’t wait to see him on friday night, then go on a picnic on saturday like he promised. she needed him like air sometimes. and he had been pulling shifts so frequently at the station that she barely ever saw him.

it sucked, yes. but when they did get to see each other it was absolutely worth it. she knew that he was gonna stay true to his word like he always did. make her happy, spoil her and make her forget all about her sucky week at work.

she loved him so much, it was almost consuming sometimes. overwhelming to think that before she met him two years ago, she had never known love or that men like him could even exist.

god, she was praying for this weekend to come sooner. and hopefully, it would.

eventually she made it to friday, she managed to get through the day, working as hard as she could. she dealt with clients, dodged the lecturing of her boss and the gossiping of her coworkers.

she slipped out early, not really giving a fuck because all her work was finished as far as she was concerned. she had better places to be. like leon’s apartment for example.

she had packed an overnight bag that morning, watered her plants and made sure she had everything. she had kept her overnight bag stored in her car just so when she got off work, she could head straight over.

she sent him a text that she was off and she was heading over early, putting the car in reverse and leaving her works parking lot.

she drove down the familiar streets and roads until she made it to leon’s apartment, parking her car in the guest parking spot. she got out, grabbing her overnight bag and everything else she needed as she locked the car behind her.

she walked over to the gate to enter the complex, typing in the numbers and once it buzzed, she opened it and let herself in. she made her way up to the second floor, walking over to where his apartment was. she slipped her key to his apartment, unlocking the door and slipping off her shoes.

“baby? you home?” she calls out as she drops her overnight bag by her shoes, dropping her keys on the coffee table. she looks around, she feels a buzzing in her hand where her phone is. she looks at the text from leon saying he was on his way home from his shift.

she sighed and looked around his apartment, looking down at the coffee table where she sat her keys in front of his couch. she saw something sticking out from in between the pages of a book he was reading. “what the…?” she opened the book and looked in the book.

a piece of paper with scribbled writing over it, leon’s from what she recognized. she started to read the crumpled up piece of paper.

[READER],

ever since i’ve known you, i’ve loved you. i’ve never wanted anyone more then i’ve wanted you. i’m not just doing this in the hopes you’ll say yes, i’m doing this with the intention that you’ll let me love you for as long as we’re both alive.

i’m not doing it like this to be cliche, i know how much you think im corny. how hard i try to make sure you’re not laughing at me (even though i love your laugh more than anything.) i want you to know that i love you. i always have, i always will.

with that, will you please do me the honor of being my wife?

it would be my greatest achievement as man, as your boyfriend and future husband if you’ll let me.

she feels her eyes well up with subtle tears, wiping at her eyes as she looked down at the crumpled up notebook paper with a small smile, even though the letter didn’t say much, it said enough.

this was just more then a simple picnic, she knew now. why he was so keen on taking care of her this weekend. taking her out for a picnic tomorrow. she can’t believe he wanted to marry her, she wasn’t shocked but she was…she wanted to cry. it was almost like a dream come true.

she was about to re-read the note to make sure she wasn’t dreaming until she heard the lock on his front door click. she scrambled to put the crumpled up piece of paper back into the book where she found it, effectively slipping it in and standing up straight just in time as he entered the door.

“hey, honey.” he says with a small smile, kicking off his shoes. he wore his police uniform still, all pristine in pale blue and navy. she swallowed and wiped at her eyes, “hey.” she shuffles towards him and wraps her arms tightly around him.

he noticed the sniffling and the watery eyes, he craned his neck down to look at her face that was pressed into his chest, rubbing his hands up and down her back in a soothing gesture.

“are you okay? your eyes are red.” he says softly, his voice dripping with such concern it just almost made her heart melt in her chest. she nods and squeezes her arms tighter around him, “i’m okay. i just missed you.” she lies a little, she did miss him, but that wasn’t the true reason for the red eyes.

“okay, baby. it’s okay though, we’re gonna have a good weekend and your not even gonna think about work.” he says softly as he continues to rub her back up and down in a gentle gesture, smiling down at her with a soft grin. she nods, “okay, i’d like that.” she says with her cheek pressed against his chest, sniffling.

she knew she wouldn’t think about work, work was the furthest thing from her mind right now. the only thing on her mind was the picnic tomorrow and the note she had found.

she knew he was going to purpose, she wasn’t even trying to snoop, but now she knew. she loved him even more for it. if that was even possible.

the next day, the morning light would peak through the curtains of leon’s bedroom window. it casted both of them in a glow that was more then just a simple glow of the morning but a new day.

she loves waking up beside him, especially today when the promises of their future hang right over her head. a promise that he’s intending to keep.

she rolls over onto him as he lays on his back, giggling as she does. she presses a small kiss to his chest and then makes a path up to his collarbone, pressing a kiss to his neck. she felt herself growing more aroused by the minute.

she wasn’t a virgin, she had dated plenty of shitty guys before leon. and it isn’t like she didn’t not want to have sex with him, they just decided to wait until marriage. but now that she knew he was going to purpose today, she forgot all about that little promise she made with him.

she presses her lips to his jaw, hearing him mumble something sleepily as she grins against his skin. she leans towards his ear, “wake up.” she mumbles as she moves her hips to sit on his covered dick in his boxers beneath the sheets. her panty clad frame gently moving her hips lightly against his as she adjusts.

she feels him slightly move again, moving in his sleep so she moves her hips more firmly on him again, feeling him grow harder against the fabric that separated them. he mumbles something and she pulls her face out of his neck, bracing her palms flat on his chest.

he slowly opens his blue eyes to meet hers, his dirty blonde hair messily on the pillow. she smiles down at him with a small grin, “morning sleeping beauty.” she chuckles as she leans down to his face and presses a kiss to his lips.

his half-asleep frame is still waking up and trying to wrap his mind around everything. “what are you doing?” he chuckles with a lazy opening and closing of his blue eyes.

“what does it look like im doing?” she says with a small smirk, moving her hips again. he had no idea where this was coming from, they had agreed to wait until marriage and now…

she was straddling his waist, her wet core on top of his morning wood, there were the barriers between them but still, he could feel everything. she tilts her head innocently at him, his blue eyes looking up at her, “why are you so…? what’s gotten into you?” he says with a small furrow of his brows as he leans up on the bed, his elbows propped up behind him.

she bites her lip and looks at him, “why am i what?” she says as she bats her eyelashes at him, feigning innocence. he struggles and takes a shaky breath, “why are you like…all over me? like, we didn’t…i thought you wanted to wait.” he manages to get out with another shaky inhale.

she sighs and rubs her palms over his chest, “i want you, i’ve waited long enough. married or not, i want you.” she says with a small look, letting his blue eyes latch onto hers. she needed him to know she was serious, that this mattered.

she knew he was going to purpose soon anyways, so what was the big deal? that’s what she thought anyways. she didn’t see it as this huge thing, it would be their first time together. but…she was ready.

“unless…your not?” she says with a small sigh as she looks down at him, her palms pressed flat on his bare chest as she looked down at him. he shook his head so fast, his hair flopping as he did, “no, i want it.” he replies as he looks up into her eyes.

“anything that you want from me, i wanna be able to give it to you. even this.” she hears him say as his blue eyes never stray from his gaze on her. she smiles widely and sniffles, “god, i love you.” she whispers as she leans down and presses a kiss to his lips.

it starts slow, his hands holding onto her waist as the kiss grows more intense and passionate. her hips moving against his erection. she doesn’t fear it now, not when she knows what will happen.

not when she can trust him. she knows he’s different, he’s not like the others. she wants to give him all of her, every single part. she wants to give him marriage, her soul, her body. she wants him to have it all.

so as the kisses and the touches escalate, she feels herself trusting in him, letting his love consume her body and mind in a way she had never known before. his kisses were like rain, falling on her skin and soaking there. his touch was like fire, spreading over her body.

it was beautiful, she couldn’t wait to have him with her forever.

the picnic was beautiful.

leon, really knew how to make her forget about her shitty work week. whether it be a picnic, their first time having sex together earlier that morning, or the proposal that has yet to happen.

he really outdid himself. just like he promised, he had cooked and packed a lunch for them by a small pond in a park. it was about a 20 minute drive from his place, how she never knew it was there, she had no idea.

it was beautiful, some swans were in the pond swimming around with their babies, made her smile and think of how leon had made this so perfect without even trying. he spread out a blanket for them, sitting the food down in the picnic basket.

she brushes her hands over her purple sundress, looking at him as he sat down and began to spread out the food for them. “wow, baby. you really thought of everything didn’t you?” she chuckles as she sits down next to him on the picnic blanket.

“of course, anything for my girl.” he says with a sweet smile in her direction as he gets wine out of the basket and two glasses. my girl…jesus, if he’s trying to make me melt, it’s working. she thinks as she watches him uncork the wine bottle, and pour them both red wine into the glasses.

“i know, you spoil me, leon. but still…” she trails off as she looks over at him, she reaches over the blanket and grabs onto his hand. she watches as the subtle breeze blows his dirty blonde hair over his blue eyes and his forehead.

he rolls his eyes playfully and scoots closer to her on the blanket, squeezing her hand back. “don’t argue with me. it’s in your best interest.” he says with a small lopsided smirk as he hands her one of the glasses of wine. she accepts and smiles back at him, sipping on the wine in her free hand.

“fine. i won’t.” she says with a small roll of her eyes, grinning at him as she swallowed the wine. letting it slide down her throat. they stayed in silence for a while, just enjoying the sounds of nature, the breeze that blowed softly and made the leaves rustle in the trees above them.

she let him dote on her a little more, still feeling that anxious bubbling in her stomach that had been occurring since last night. the note, the proposal that had yet to happen. she felt her body get amped up and she was trying not to give her hopes up.

she sipped on her wine, looking over at him as he stared off into the pond a little ways in front of them. she admired him like this, when he wasn’t looking at her. he was deep in thought, in his head and she could almost see the gears turning in his mind.

“thank you, leon.” she says as she snaps out of her daze of staring at him. she didn’t think she could ever not want to stare, admire him like a piece of art in a museum. he lets his head turn her way, looking directly at her, a gentle smile on his boyish features.

“no need to thank me. i wanted to do something special for you.” he says as he reaches across the blanket and rubs his hand over her bare knee. she nods and swallows more nerves, “i don’t need to thank you, but im going to anyways.” she giggles.

he just shakes his head with a teasing grin on his face, he doesn’t mind this. sitting here with her and knowing where it’s going. he almost feels like this can’t be real, sitting here with her. the weather’s perfect and this day is even better.

they continue to just sit together on the picnic blanket, eating and sipping on their wine. they just talk and snuggle up next to each other on the blanket.

eventually the sun starts to set, painting the sky in a beautiful pink and red hue. it almost looks like a painting and she watches it with almost admiration. he knows this is the time, the ring in his pocket burning a hole through his jeans.

she keeps her gaze trained on the sky, not even noticing that he’s staring at her with admiration. he swallows his fears, his nerves and everything that could potentially stop him from doing this.

“your so beautiful, you know that?” he starts as he looks over her features. her gaze only temporarily looking over at him, a blush coating her cheeks. this isn’t how he had planned it, but he’s gonna do this differently.

“of course you know that, i tell you all the time how amazing, beautiful and sweet you are. even to people who don’t deserve your kindness.” he says as his blue eyes stay trained on her, she smiles and bites her lip in bashfulness.

she knows something is happening, but she lets it happen. she doesn’t care…not if it’s a promise to make her happy for the rest of their lives.

“your the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he continues as he looks at her, turning his body a little towards her on the picnic blanket. the ring feels like an anchor in his pocket, keeping him tethered to the moment here with her.

“and i don’t think i’ll ever find anyone better then you, that’s honesty. your the best that’s ever going to happen to me.” he says as he looks deep into her eyes, her eyes blinking back at him as she feels her heart start to pound in her ribcage.

“and i would be a fucking fool if i went on another two years and didn’t show you how much you mean to me.” he says as he fists the ring in his pocket. she feels her heart swell and her eyes water. the smile spreading on her face is the rare kind.

“what are you…?” she says with a small look of disbelief on her face, her smile widening and the crystal of her eyes staring back at him.

he smiles with a small blink of his blue eyes that are now crystallizing over as well, he pulls his palm out of his pocket, opening it up between them to brandish a engagement ring.

she blinks her tears away, raising a hand over her mouth, trying to somewhat hide her shock. “leon…” she looks between the ring in his palm and then his eyes. this was much better then what was written on that crumpled sheet of paper.

“i love you so fucking much, i would do anything for you, to you and with you. only if you’ll let me, forever. please marry me. let me love you forever, let me wake up to you every morning. it would be the greatest honor i could ever have.” he says as he gestures the ring in his outstretched palm.

he looks at her with hopeful and love filled eyes as he does this. she doesn’t even have words, she expected it. but not like this…

this was definitely better.

and he was the love of her life, she couldn’t say no to him, not in a million years. she couldn’t dream of turning him down. of declining his proposal because he’s her happiness. even from two years ago when they met to now…

her body and mind want him the same, love him the same. she knows it will never change. not when it comes to him and just everything he does for her.

“yes…” she says as she sniffles away tears, feeling the breeze in the park billow her hair. the swans swimming idly in the pond in front of them. the sun setting in a beautiful sunset that paints the sky. he blinks at her, he doesn’t think he heard her right for a second.

“did you say…?” she laughs and looks at him, “i said yes. i’ll marry you.” she says as she feels more tears leak down her flushed cheeks. he smiles widely and grabs her hand shakily, his face coated in tears of happiness too.

he slips the ring onto her ring finger and strokes his thumb over her knuckles. he slides his free hand up to cup her jaw, rubbing the tears that slid from her eyes. “oh god, i love you.” he says in a trance as he looks at her.

“i love you too.” she says back to him, catching him in his trance of looking at her. she feels the ring on her ring finger, making its home there. she feels like she’s on cloud nine right now. he pulls her face towards him and presses a kiss to her lips.

she returns it and kisses him back, her hand, now ring clad, holds onto his face as she deepens the kiss. she doesn’t think she could ever be happier then she was right now.

in this moment with him. not a thing matters and her mind and body are full of him. she feels so consumed by him and his love that she can’t even explain it.

she’ll be wrapped in him forever and she can’t bring herself to care if she is. because at least she’s happy, happy and in love.

forever.

leons letter:

taglist: @heartsforvin

(go to this post to join the taglist, pls reblog and follow for more, my asks are open in my bio. i love you all <3)

#leon kennedy #leon x reader #leon kennedy smut #re2 leon #leon kennedy au #leon kennedy fluff #re2 remake #re4 remake #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x fem reader #leon kennedy drabble #re2 leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x reader

[alwaysonthemend]

Author’s Note: Happy Valentine’s Day! Here’s a little Josh fic for you all. Just as an aside, this fic follows the reader after she’s just gotten out of a past relationship that ended badly. I used gender neutral pronouns and words for her ex and Josh is also written as being queer in this fic. I wanted to make this as inclusive an experience as possible for my readers so that is why I chose to use gender neutral language for her ex-partner. And obviously, Josh has never given us a specific label for himself and so I didn’t want to assume anything about him by doing so myself but I do write that he’s had past relationships with both men and women – but I am in no way claiming to know his dating life or how he identifies. I hope you all enjoy and happy Valentine’s Day to each of you <3 

Warnings: Smut (p in v sex, unprotected sex), oral (f. receiving), fingering, pleasuredom!Josh, discussions of infidelity (past relationship - not between reader and Josh), slight panic attack (nothing major), feelings of body insecurity, parties, drinking. 18 Only. Minors DNI 

Word Count: 5k

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Fuck them was all you really had left to say. In all honesty… there wasn’t much to say at this point. You’d given them 3 years of your life – 3 years spent crafting a future around a person who, in the end, hadn’t cared enough to do the same for you. You’d been with them for 3 whole years, had spent hours and hours of time with them, loved them at their best and their worst, comforted them when they needed it, been their shoulder to cry on, celebrated their achievements, and loved them with your whole heart for those entire 3 years. And how had they repaid you in the end? By climbing into bed with someone else. A quick fuck with a stranger that they met at a bar was apparently worth more than the 3 years that you had spent loving them the way that you had. It’s crazy how even after all that time you can still find out that you hardly even knew a person at all. 

And now here you are the day before Valentine's Day eating ice cream and watching The Office reruns on your couch to try and keep from actually thinking about the hurt you have in your heart. You’ve cried all the tears you have and now you’re just left with a hollowness that you can’t seem to shake. There’s a hole in your heart where all that love for them used to be and now you’re stuck in this weird limbo between heartbroken and downright furious. 

Ping!You glance down to where your phone screen has lit up with a text message. You pick it up and immediately sigh at the message that waits for you. 

Danny 9:08 PM 

Please tell me you’re still going to come to the party tomorrow night 

You hadn’t been planning on it. You’d thought since the very moment that Josh had brought up the idea of a Valentine’s Day party that it was borderline ridiculous. But you had agreed to go simply because your partn- your ex had said that they wanted to go. But now that they weren’t in the picture anymore… the thought of going to a party where everyone is going to be hanging off the arms of their partners and, as Josh had put it, love is gonna be in the air! makes you want to scream. Hell no. Fuck no, even. 

You 9:09 PM 

Don’t think so. Not really in the Valentine’s Day mood to be honest. 

It takes hardly even a minute before Danny answers you back. 

Danny 9:10 PM 

Totally fair 

Danny 9:12 PM

There’s gonna be free booze tho… And you’ve gotta stop rotting away on your couch eventually

You pause for a moment before answering. He’s right to be completely honest. You’ve spent two weeks holed up in your apartment and wallowing in self-pity after your breakup. And honestly it’s starting to get a little old. But a Valentine’s Day party? You’re not sure that that is going to be the best break from your self-imposed lock down. But on the other hand… free booze does make the whole idea just a little bit more appealing. Plus, it’d be a great excuse to get dressed up and feel sexy for a night and have it be just for you and not for anyone else. And you haven’t actually gotten to see Danny and the rest of the guys a whole lot recently thanks to their busy schedules. 

You sigh once again before texting Danny back in defeat. 

You 9:15 PM 

Fine

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Any and all excitement that you had the night before is entirely gone by the time you step through the doorway of Josh’s incredibly color-coordinated home. You’d felt sexy in your outfit as you’d stepped out of your apartment but the loud music and even louder people make you want to turn heel and run in the opposite direction. But you’re here now so you figure you might as well enjoy the free booze. You’d taken an Uber tonight solely so that you can get as drunk as you want without having to worry about driving back to your apartment.

“Y/n!” 

Danny comes bounding over to you, crushing you in a hug that steals your breath away. You squeeze him back and giggle softly. 

“You smell like beer.” You scold him, wrinkling your nose in mock disgust. 

Danny smiles and nudges your shoulder with his. 

“And you don’t and that’s just not acceptable.” 

With a comforting hand placed on your upper back, Danny leads you through the crowd of people into Josh’s kitchen where an array of bottles and stacks of red solo cups await you on the counter. And amidst it all, pouring himself another drink, is the host of this over-the-top Valentine’s Day party. He grins at you as you and Danny enter and you can’t help but to smile back. 

“I didn’t think you were gonna make it out tonight!” Josh starts, throwing back a shot before turning his body to face the two of you fully. 

You shrug and jab your thumb towards Danny who laughs lightly. 

“I’m persuasive.” Is the only bit of explanation he gives. 

“And annoying.” You mutter playfully as you walk over to the counter to survey the various choices in alcohol that lay before you. “Watcha makin?” 

Josh’s attention drops back down to the drink that he’d been in the middle of pouring when you’d walked in. 

“Tequila Sunrise.” He holds up the glass for you to see and you’re impressed with how nice the drink looks. “I’m no bartender but…”

You shake your head, eyeing the beautifully balanced red and orange colors in the glass. 

“Nonsense. You know you’re good at mixing drinks. That looks great.”

A pink blush dusts the apples of his cheeks (the color of them making the white dots of his makeup stand out even more) and even the tips of his ears turn a shade darker at your compliment. 

“I think you should try a sip before you praise me too much.” He extends his hand and holds the glass out to you. “For you. And if it sucks… Jake is the one who told me how to make it so blame him.”

You take the glass and sip the drink, closing your eyes and humming at the taste. Josh is watching you intently and you wonder briefly if he’s always been so damn attractive.

“And if it’s really good?” You question, taking another sip. 

He puffs out his chest and grins. 

“Why then it’s all me, of course.”

You can only shake your head at him but a smile spreads across your lips despite yourself. 

“It’s really good, Josh. You have my stamp of approval.”

Your eyes meet Josh’s and those brown eyes of his glint with something that you can’t quite name before it’s gone in a flash. You drop your gaze to the drink in your hand and Josh looks towards Danny. 

“Daniel, care for a drink?”

– 

You’d spent the last hour or two milling about throughout the house, saying hi to friends and occasionally bumping into Josh who always smiles warmly at you in passing as he busies himself with being a cordial host. 

And you’d had perhaps one too many drinks and the room is starting to spin by the time you collapse onto a sofa to take a breather. Danny had stuck by your side for a while before his date had arrived, at which point you’d latched yourself onto Sam until he decided to leave early with a girl he met. You’d gone searching for Jake but he’d been nowhere to be found. Likely, he’s already gone home. He’s never one to stick around at social gatherings this big for too long. 

You try not to but your heart aches slightly that you’d been abandoned by Sam and Danny. You know that ‘abandoned’ is a strong word but… they knew you were freshly single and hurting. You had hoped that they would have been more willing to spend just a little extra time with you tonight. In fact, the longer you think about it, the more your hurt feelings begin to grow. You’re not angry with them. Not all. If you’re being honest with yourself, you envy them. They both had someone to spend the night with tonight. Jake, too. 

You glance around and suddenly all you can see is other people with their partners. Holding hands, laughing, touching, kissing. Your breathing picks up. Does everyone here but you have someone? It sure freaking feels like it. Maybe it’s the alcohol making you have such a strong reaction but you’re suddenly desperate to get out of here. You need to get out of this place. You stand, the abrupt movement causing your head to spin a bit but you ignore it in favor of trying to find an escape. As you make your way through the throng of people it’s like navigating through a sea made of nothing but smiles and kisses that aren’t for you. Your eyes scan frantically until at last… there! The door to the back porch. 

You push your way to it and open the door quickly and slam it shut behind you as you escape out onto Josh’s back porch. You pause there, bowing your head and taking a moment to try and steady your breathing. Your throat burns with unshed tears but you swallow them down – you refuse to shed any more tears over the person who treated you so horribly. You refuse to give them the satisfaction. 

“Y/n?” 

The sound of your name makes you jump and your eyes snap open to find Josh leaning against the bannister, his head turned back to look at you. 

“Hi.” You answer him, willing your voice to sound more composed than you feel. “I didn’t see you out here.” 

He smiles and beckons you over to him with a lazy wave.

“Just taking a break for a moment.” His voice carries a warmth that you hadn’t realized you needed as you come to lean on the bannister beside him. “You okay?” He keeps his face purposefully neutral but you can see the concern swirling in his eyes. 

“Yeah. Just got a little overwhelming in there.”

He nods, the motion making an errant curl settle onto his forehead. Your hand itches to reach up and swipe it back into place. 

“No Alex tonight?” 

It’s an innocent question but your ex’s name sends your heart breaking all over again. You’re not even sure why you’re still so upset. Clearly they didn’t love you the way you had loved them and you want to say that you’ve moved on but… 

“No. We’re not together anymore.” 

“Oh.” Josh breathes out, his features melting into a look of pure sympathy. It makes you want to cry even more. “I’m sorry.” 

You shrug.

“It’s okay, really. They fucked a stranger in our own bed so… I’d say it’s a good thing that we broke things off.”

Josh winces at the bitterness in your tone and looks like he wants to say something but doesn’t know what. 

“Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m still so upset. It’s not like I love them anymore. Not really.”  The alcohol in your systems seems to have loosened your tongue as you begin speaking again despite having no intentions of wanting to talk about them at all tonight. 

“Anyone would be upset, Y/n. Alex betrayed your trust. Regardless of how you feel about them now… it’s still painful. That’s normal.”

You huff. 

“It’s stupid. Stupid and tiring and-” You stop yourself and swallow thickly. “Sorry.” 

Josh smiles. It doesn’t reach his eyes all the way but it’s genuine. 

“Don’t be. Trust me, I know how you feel. Once that trust is broken… it’s like you’re afraid you’ll never get it back again. With anyone.” 

You turn to look at him but his face is pointed back out to the yard. As willing as Josh is to discuss matters like this with others, his own relationships he’s always been private about. He’s had a few relationships that you know of in the years that you’ve known him – some men, some women. You’d met only a handful of them in person but he’d never seemed to allow anyone in your little circle to actually get to know them other than Jake. You had no idea that maybe he’s gone through something similar. 

“Sometimes I just… It feels like I’m never going to find my person. And all this-” You gesture towards the door and the Valentine’s Day festivities that lay beyond it, “just didn’t really help at all. It feels like everyone has someone but me.”

A warm, steadying hand lands on your shoulder and you swear that a tingle runs up the length of your spine at the touch. Josh’s eyes glitter in the light of the night sky and the porch light casts shadows across his sharp jawline. And as you look at him, it feels like you’re seeing him, really seeing him for the first time. And he’s beautiful. 

“You’ll find your person, Y/n. I know you will. You’re too nice of a person to not.”

You can feel your cheeks grow hot. 

“Thank you, Josh. That means a lot.”

“Of course.” He grins, dropping his hand from your shoulder at last. “That’s what friends are for, right? Helping each other out when we’re down?”

For some reason, his words make you pause. You and Josh have been friends for so long and you’d only ever seen him as a friend. But now, standing next to him and thinking back to all the years of kindness and laughter that he’s given you… you’re struck suddenly with the thought that maybe you don’t just want to be friends with him. You’ve always been able to acknowledge that he’s attractive. And he makes you laugh like no one else can. Always there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on. Hell, he’s been one of the only constants in your ever-changing life. And he’s-

You shake your head at yourself. He’s just a friend. He’d just said so himself. 

“I wish more people were like you, Josh.” You find yourself saying softly. “You’re one of the good ones.”

He blushes – the apples of his cheeks flushing a dark red that reaches all the way down his neck too. Has he always blushed this much around you? First earlier when you’d complimented his drink making and now… Surely not. Right?

“You just have to be patient.” He tilts his head and grins, nudging your shoulder playfully with his. “And hey, if you can’t find someone else you can always give dating me a try.” 

You don’t mean to but you laugh, perhaps a little harder than you should have. The idea has your heart pounding in your chest and you desperately don’t want him to see how much the joke affected you. A desperate wish that bleeds into regret as you watch the light in his eyes dim ever so slightly as you laugh. 

You want to take it back. You want to tell him that maybe you’ve been blind this whole time and not seen what was right in front of you. But he only smiles tightly and straightens himself, popping his back and rolling his neck before beginning to turn away. 

“I suppose I should get back inside. I’m being a terrible host by hiding out here.” 

With that, he turns on his heel to begin walking back inside but his name explodes past your lips before you can stop it. 

“Yeah?” 

The hope in his voice makes your stomach drop. 

“I-” You don’t know. You don’t know what to say. You don’t even know if these feelings are real. Have they been here this whole time, hiding under the surface? Or did it take you getting heartbroken by someone else to see the kindness that he’s been offering for years? There’s so many questions swirling through your head and you can’t seem to even form a full thought. Defeatedly, you shake your head. “Never mind. I’ll see you later.”

Josh stares at you for a long, tense moment before nodding his head. 

“I’ll see you later, Y/n.” 

You turn away before you see him leave but the sound of the back door shutting makes you wince. Should you have told him how you feel? Hell, you don’t understand how you’re feeling so you don’t even know what you would have told him anyway. 

Regardless, you can’t shake the feeling that you’ve just made a mistake. You’ve spent years desperately wishing for true love. Dates with people had come and gone and Alex had just been the first person who seemed to want the same from a relationship as you. No one had expected you to date them. No one had expected the two of you to last as long as you did. And honestly? You hadn’t expected it either. Alex was… comfortable. Safe. 

You’d been so caught up, so desperate to find love… and maybe it’s been right in front of you all along. He has been right in front of you. And you just let him walk away. 

Frantically, you whirl around to go and find him but stop short at the sight of Josh shoving the door open and coming back outside. He looks frenzied but determined as he strides over to you. You’re frozen in place, but with each step that he takes you grow more and more certain about the warmth spreading through your chest. Yes, he really had been right here all along. 

Josh stops. He’s so close that you can feel the warmth of his breath. 

“Y/n.” His voice is soft – quiet but just as determined as his steps had been. “I couldn’t- I had to come back. I couldn’t not tell you.” He rambles, his dark eyes pinning you in place before him. “I know we’re just friends and- and I know that you don’t-” 

“Josh,” you interrupt, “I love you too.”

“What?” 

He’s utterly still, jaw dropped open and eyes gaping at you. If your heart wasn’t pounding so hard you think you might laugh at the sight of Josh Kiszka rendered speechless. 

“I said I love you too. I don’t know why I didn’t realize it before… but I do, Josh.” 

His mouth remains open for a long moment and you think for one brief, horrible second that you’ve made a mistake and he doesn’t feel the same. But then his lips spread into a wide smile that makes your heart melt. 

“You- you love me?” 

You nod. 

“And I’m sorry that I didn’t realize it sooner.” 

He huffs, the noise a mix between a sigh and a laugh before he takes a step even closer, his lips hovering just above yours. He pauses there, waiting. You give him a slight nod and then his lips are on yours – soft and pillowy and oh so warm against your own. With a soft whine, your hands find perchance on his shoulders while his palms settle on your cheeks, thumbs caressing your cheek bones. The heat of him is delicious and you use your grip on his shoulders to pull him in closer to you. He answers with a breathy moan into your mouth that sends liquid fire pooling between your legs.  

“Y/n.” Your name escapes him with a sigh, his lips parting from yours for a moment to breathe. “I’ve dreamed of this.” 

“Yeah?” You whisper, lips ghosting over his once again, just barely touching. “Just of kissing me?”

He catches his bottom lip between his teeth and shakes his head, curls bouncing. 

“Much more than that.” 

“Show me?” 

Josh answers you with a Cheshire grin and turns his head to look over his shoulder at the party still going on inside. 

“Think they’ll notice that I’m gone?”

“We can be quick.” 

He shakes his head and grins but laces his fingers with yours and begins to tug you towards the door. 

“No. We won’t.” 

“You can’t just leave.” You start to protest but Josh silences you with a grin. 

“They’ll take the hint and leave eventually. We’ll worry about cleaning up tomorrow.”

– 

You barely notice the people as Josh leads you through them and none of them seem to notice the two of you as you both slip up the stairs. It feels like a dream as he tugs you through the threshold of his bedroom, shutting the door behind you with a soft ‘click.’ 

“So many dreams and so little time.” He murmurs, hands finding your hips and guiding you backwards until the backs of your thighs hit the bed. 

Josh kisses you again before pulling back and letting the moment hold for a moment. You take in your surroundings. The soft, white bed sheets. The warm glow of the lamp in the corner and the smell of incense. The room screams Josh – cluttered but organized, comfy.  

“But enough time,” Josh continues, palms sweeping down your sides, “that we can do as much or as little as you want tonight.” 

Josh is selfless in everything else that he does and you can’t help but smile knowing that he's selfless in here too. 

“I want you.” Is all your brain can manage to come up with. 

But it does the trick given the way Josh’s eyes glitter with mischief as his fingers dance across your shoulders and hook underneath the straps of your dress. 

“Can I take this off?”

You nod and he slides the fabric down, letting it pool around your ankles and leaving your bra and panties on display for him. You’d gone with black lace and based on the groan that rumbles in his chest, it was the right choice. Before undressing you further, Josh tugs his own shirt up and over his head and tosses it haphazardly to the floor. His khakis are next and you exhale shakily as you take in his smooth, creamy skin. His body is lithe and toned, muscles defined but still slim. There’s something effortlessly graceful about his body and you reach out a hand to feel him, a palm settling on his pec and the other hand grabbing his waist and squeezing. 

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” His words come out husky and a little gruff and your core pulses. “Bra off then on the bed.” 

You comply, unhooking your bra and letting it fall to the floor before jumping up and scrambling backwards until your back hits the wall of plush pillows guarding the head board. He follows you, climbing onto the bed and settling onto his knees between your thighs. Chocolate eyes sweep up to yours, somehow filled with an almost innocence despite what the two of you are about to do. 

“Can I taste you, Y/n?” He pleas– and it is a plea. 

You want to nod. To let him use that pretty mouth on you for as long as he pleases. But years of insecurity – insecurity that’s only been made worse after recent events, bubbles to the surface. 

“I- I didn’t shave. You don’t have to.” You hate how weak your voice sounds. You hate that you feel like this. You hate how every single cell in your body wants to close your thighs and hide from him despite the love that you see swirling through his eyes. 

“I want to.” Josh answers, warm hands finding purchase on your thighs. “And I don’t care about whether or not you shaved, Y/n. It’s your body that you’re choosing to share with me.” His thumbs trace small, soothing circles into your skin. “But if you don’t feel comfortable that’s okay too.” 

You take a deep breath. You let all those insecurities that have welled up recently come to the forefront of your mind. You let yourself feel each one. And then you let them go. 

“Y-you can. You can taste me.”

Josh smiles softly, the weight of your trust not lost on him as he leans down and slides your panties down your legs. Already soaked, Josh hums at the sight. 

“Stunning.” He says, swiping a finger through your folds and earning a cry from between your lips. 

Hooking his arms beneath your thighs and dropping his body to lay against the mattress, Josh pulls your glistening center flush against him and sucks your clit into his mouth. He rolls his tongue around the swollen bud and your hips buck up to meet the feeling. 

“Oh fuck.” You whine, eyes shut tightly against the onslaught of pleasure. 

His tongue works over you effortlessly, switching between circling around your clit and slipping into your entrance. The sound is obscene. Your wetness coupled with the way Josh moans into your heat has the band of pleasure in your lower belly beginning to tighten already. It’s like he somehow knows exactly what you like the most – effortlessly coaxing you to the edge. He’s groaning into you, head thrashing from side to side and his own hips pushing down into the bed.

“Josh.” You warn, your body beginning to tense as the white hot pleasure keeps building. 

“Cum in my mouth, mama. I need it.” 

With one last lick of his tongue against you the wave breaks. With a loud cry, you let the pleasure overtake you and Josh keeps working you through it, making sure to give you the most pleasure he can as your orgasm works its way through you. 

Finally, he sits up and wipes his mouth against the back of his hand. 

“How was that?” 

It’s an innocent question but the cocky grin he’s sporting lets you know that he knows exactly how good it was. 

“Fuck.” Is all you manage to say and Josh giggles. 

“Eloquent.” 

Josh sits up and you can see his cock straining through the fabric of his boxers, his flushed tip trapped underneath the waistband. Even covered you can see that he’s big. You’d always known that he was – his jumpsuits leave little to the imagination. But seeing it like this, hard and leaking for you, makes your breath stutter in your chest. You reach out to feel him but he stops you, shaking his head and grinning. 

“Not done yet.” Is all he says before his fingers find your wet folds again. 

Slowly, he presses a finger in and you whine, legs falling apart wider as he curls the digit. He’s watching you intently, noting every shift of your hips and every change in expression as he explores your body, finding what makes you tick. His finger brushes against your sweet spot and you cry out his name. 

“Oh fuck, Josh. Right there.” 

He grins. 

“There it is.” 

He adds another finger, scissoring them to stretch you but making sure to brush that spot over and over again as he does so. You’re a whining mess beneath him, embarrassingly close to cumming again already. No one has ever paid attention like this – actually taking the time to learn your body and its responses in order to maximize your pleasure. Maybe it's that thought that has you about to reach climax again. 

“You gonna cum on my fingers, Y/n?”

You nod your head, unable to form words as he pumps his fingers in and out of you. 

“Yeah? I can feel you squeezing them, baby. You can cum, angel. Just let it go.”

Your body trembles and shakes all over as you cum and Josh moans in delight at the sight of you surrendering to pleasure, at the sight of the pleasure that he is giving you. This one lasts longer than the last and Josh works you through every second of it until you're panting and shying away from the touch as the oversensitivity hits you. 

“Good?” He murmurs, eyes practically black as they stare at you. 

“Very, very good.” You answer with a lazy, satiated smile. “Are you going to fuck me now?” 

Josh’s tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip and your eyes track the movement. You want him. You want him so bad it aches. 

“Only if you want me to. We don’t have to do anything else tonight.”

Of course he didn’t expect more from you. And you’re 100% certain that if you asked him to, he’d lay down and go to bed with you right now despite how hard his aching member must be. But you don’t want that. You want him. All of him. 

“I want you to, Josh. I need you to fuck me.”

A soft, delicate little whine escapes him. 

“Okay.” 

Wordlessly, he reaches over to his night stand and opens a drawer. His hand disappears inside it before reappearing with a condom in hand. He palms himself once with his right hand through his boxers before hooking his fingers in the waistband and tugging them down. 

You never knew that a cock could be so fucking pretty. 

He rips the foil with his teeth and rolls the latex over his length, hissing as he does so. 

You let your legs fall apart and beckon him to you. With dark eyes, Josh pumps his length in his hand once, twice, before he guides himself into your soaked entrance. He’s big, the stretch causing a delicious mix of pleasure bordering on pain. He moans as he bottoms out and your hands latch onto his shoulders and your fingertips dig into the muscle. 

“Fuck, you feel good.” You moan, already aching for him to move. 

“And you feel like satin, angel. So fuckin’ tight.”

Slowly, Josh pulls almost all the way out of you before sliding back in again. His arms come to rest on either side of your head, his weight resting on his forearms. With each snap of his hips you can’t help but moan. Every movement, every inch of him, sends sparks of pleasure through your entire body.  Sex with Alex had been rough – frenzied and almost mindless. But this? This is worship. 

“Don’t stop.” You beg, heels digging into his hips to keep him close. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” His voice sounds wrecked – cracked and broken with his own pleasure. 

“You’re so good.” You find yourself mumbling, eyes squeezing shut. “So fucking good, Josh.”

You can feel his length twitch and pulse inside of you as soon as the words leave your mouth. He likes knowing that he’s making you feel good. 

“Wanna make you cum, mama. Wanna make you feel good.” He whines, jaw dropping open and face contorting in pleasured agony. 

You nod your head frantically, tits bouncing as he picks up his pace. 

“Feels so good. Oh fuck!” Your own voice sounds foreign to you – high pitched and almost squeaky. You’re losing yourself in the pleasure, his cock hitting your sweet spot perfectly. 

“Please cum, baby. Cum on my cock. I need to feel it.”

His right hand slips into the heated space between your bodies and his finger finds your clit, ruthlessly swirling the pad of his finger in time with his thrusts. 

“Fuck I’m gonna cum, Josh. Please, please, please.”

“You don’t have to beg, baby.” He grits out, his pace beginning to falter as your walls clench mercilessly around him. “Gonna take care of you. Gonna get you there.”

It hardly takes a minute more before the band snaps. With a harsh scream, your orgasm rips through you. Stars explode behind your eyes and any thoughts that you had have been ripped from you. All you can focus on is the pleasure as Josh keeps fucking you through your high. The only words you can think of fall from your lips in a breathy whine. 

“I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Josh cries out harshly, his own body tensing as he finally lets himself reach his own climax. 

“Oh fuck, I’m cumming. Y/n.” His words are almost a growl, rumbling from deep within his chest as his orgasm hits him fully. “I love you too. Fuck, I love you so much.”

With one last thrust of his hips the two of you finally settle, Josh’s weight coming down to pin you to the mattress as you both come back to yourselves. He doesn’t pull out, allowing the intimacy of the moment to stretch on. 

“My God.” You mumble, your throat feeling raw from screaming. 

Josh leans down to capture your lips with his, his tongue exploring your mouth lazily for a moment before he draws back. 

“I love you, Y/n.”

“I love you too. I’m sorry I took so long.” 

“I would have waited even longer so long as I got to have you in the end.”

You pull him down to kiss him again. 

“You have me.”

♡︵‿♡︵‿♡‿︵♡‿︵♡

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[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Being Seijoh’s Manager:

Confessing to Shinji Watari

Shinji Watari featuring Seijoh x Fem! Reader (she/her pronouns)

Warnings: swearing (?), fluff

AN: this is a request from 🦢 anon! I changed it up a little to confessing instead of dating 😌 I hope this is acceptable!

Liberos are so underrated in HQ

There I said it, don’t come for me 🤚🏻

And just look at this cutie!!

The man who inspired Noya to learn to jump set from the back row

Honestly the G.O.A.T.

Also, he just oozes respect juice

He has so much respect for his upperclassmen and I know he drinks women respect juice like water!

Anyways, Seijoh had been thinking of getting a manager since FINALLY Oikawa would be retiring from the team 🙄

As much as an asset he was, he was the #1 reason they couldn’t have nice things

Needless to say, the second and first years were hard at work, scouring far and wide for a manager

Now, you knew of Seijoh’s infamous volleyball team

You also knew of loserkawa because all of your friends had crushes on him

Seriously… y tho?

But not you, you didn’t really find Oikawa to be your type

Instead you found interest in someone else 👀

A certain short haired, blue eyed angel

You were in a few classes with Shinji and knew he was on the volleyball team

But he honestly never seemed to notice you

He was pretty popular and he talked with everyone

But you ☹️

It honestly kind of hurt your feelings

But you see, the reason he wasn’t talking to you wasn’t because he didn’t like you

Oh no no no

In fact, it was the opposite

Man had the BIGGEST crush on you!

Literally, he watched you from afar way more times than he’d care to admit

You were so cute and fun

He adored your smile and how friendly you were to everyone

So when Seijoh found themselves in need of a manager…

Well let’s just say that a certain SOMEONE noticed your mutual pinning with Watari

A certain replacement setter 🙃 who was kind of annoying but like also way less annoying than Oikawa

Yahaba thought you would be the perfect addition to Seijoh’s team

You were smart, calm, fun and most importantly, cute 🥰

Which is why he asked you to be Seijohs’s manager, right in front of Watari

Man’s knew what he was doing

“Hey YN!” Yahaba shouted as Watari watched, confused as Yahaba ran up to you, “I was wondering if you’d be interested in being Seijoh’s manager?”

You looked at Yahaba and then your eyes drifted to Watari, who looked heckin mad that Yahaba was even talking to you

“Umm well I umm don’t know much about volleyball,” you shyly said

“Let me ask you, do you have a crush on Oikawa?” Yahaba asked as Watari glared at him from behind and you gasped

“WHAT NO!” You shouted

“Ok then you need no prior experience! Watari will walk you to practice tonight! See you there Yn!” Yahaba said running away quickly

Please he thinks he’s SO smooth 😅

Watari and you rn 👉🏻👁️👄👁️

After class, Watari nervously awaits you

You come out, smiling shyly as he greets you, walking you to the gym

“I’m glad you agreed to be our manager Yn,” he said, blushing

You practically die because he’s so freaking cute 😩

In the gym, you are greeted by Yahaba, Kyotani, Kindaichi and Kunimi

They are all extremely respectful and so happy your here

But then you hear it

The voice to break all sound barriers

Because guess who’s still on the team 🙄

“Oh my goodness is that Yn-Chan!” Oikawa screeches

The younger guys 👉🏻😐 please don’t leave us Yn we promise he’s leaving

“Hello annoying-kawa,” you responded

Please the rest of the guys are so freaking happy 😌

Despite the setback of having to deal with Oiks, you decide to take the manager position

Mostly because you get to be close to your crush 😻

You come to live and adore your team

Yahaba turns out to be a solid leader

Kyotani is quiet but super respectful

Kindaichi and Kunimi are both just happy you exist

And Watari, well he’s flustered like 98% of the time

You look so pretty in your managers uniform 🥹

You are super helpful to all the guys and always there when they need you

Watari has gotten more comfortable talking with you and vice versa

He helps you with water bottles and hanging nets

He helps you learn the game, rules and each position

Heck he even walks you home at night 🥰

Literally the sweetest boy

You’ve done well handling Oikawa

It’s the last few months before the third years finally leave so thankfully, only a little bit more time Yn 🙌🏻

Oikawa is always Oikawa meaning he loves attention

And Watari really gets annoying by this

He respects Oikawa but Oikawa is pushing it at this point

And both Yahaba and Kyotani notice his shift 👀

One night, when the second tears are tearing down the gym, Yahaba decides to bring it up

“When are you gonna confess to Yn?” He says as Watari stops and looks at him

Please his face turns bright red

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Watari responds

Yahaba 👉🏻mmhmm 😐😑

“It’s pretty obvious you like Yn,” Kyotani adds

Jesus does everyone know?!?

“She’s not interested in me, why would she be?” Watari responds as he finishes gathering the balls

Apparently all boys are oblivious because you are definitely interested Yn

And thankfully, we have an embarrassing Oikawa moment to make that VERY clear

“Yoo-hoo YN Chan!” An agitating grating voice fills the gym

You 👉🏻😐🙄 yes Oikawa

The entire team is gearing up for a practice match

Watari is helping you set up chairs as well as fill water bottles

“You know, I’m retiring soon and I think it’s time you grant your setter a date,” Oikawa chimes

Oof Watari is PISSED 😅

But you, our calm queen, remain neutral

“But I don’t even like you Oikawa,” you say as everyone dies of laughter

“Shittykawa leave Yn alone!” Iwa shouts as Mattsun and Makki back him up

“YN come on! How often is it that you get to go on a date with someone like me?!?” Oikawa shouts

“Sorry Oikawa but I like someone else,” you say as Oikawa reels

Watari deflated a little because of course you like someone else, you are gorgeous and smart and funny

What guy wouldn’t want to date you?!?

“Someone better than me Yn?!?” Oikawa continues

“Miles better,” you respond

“Who?!” Oikawa asks

“Shittykawa I swear to god- if you don’t leave Yn alone!” Iwa says before you interrupt

“I like Shinji,” you say, smiling at him and walking away

Watari 👉🏻😐😳😀 whet-

Yahaba and Kyotani 👉🏻😮😮

Mattsun and Makki 👉🏻😳

Oikawa 👉🏻👁️👄👁️

“Wait a second, you like Watari?!?” Oikawa screams

You 👉🏻😐 that’s what I said-

Please Yn, Watari is too stunned to speech

Watari.exe has stopped functioning

Thankfully Yahaba is there to help 😌

“You idiot! Confess!” He yells at the Libero

“I LIKE YOU TOO YN!” Watari screams

Talk about an awkward gym experience imma right 😅

“Well than settles it!” Yahaba says as he continues to get the gym ready

Please everyone’s like, “we really just gonna move on from this huh?”

You smile at Watari as he walks over to you and grabs your hands

“YN, would you go out with me?” He asks

Me rn 👉🏻🥹🥹🥹 you better say yes YN istg-

“Of course I will!” You say, kissing his cheek as he blushes

Everyone 👉🏻🥹🤧

Oikawa 👉🏻👁️👄👁️ what the hell?!?

“Shittykawa I warned you!” Iwa shouts before belting Oiks in the back of the head with a volleyball

But you and Watari pay no mind 🥰

#haikyuu!! #haikyu! #haikyū!! #haikyu x you #haikyuu #haikyu #seijoh #seijoh x reader #aoba johsai #hq Seijoh #hq aoba johsai #watari shinji #Watari Shinji x reader #Watari Shinji x female reader #female reader #x female reader #Watari Shinji x yn #Watari Shinji x you #oikawa toru #iwaizumi hajime #hanamaki takahiro #matsukawa issei #kunimi akira #kindaichi yūtarō #yahaba shigeru #kyotani kentaro #Seijoh hcs #haikyu seijoh #hq watari #hq oikawa

[juannaflippa]

random total drama reboot sexuality headcanons (made these while listening to laufey)

priya is pan, she just kinda knew she loved any and all genders. demiromantic, falls in love at first sight but always thinks twice about if its a crush or not (it never is). uses she/they. scared to tell her parents

millie gives lesbian tbh, never felt attraction to a guy. had crushes on girls and always brushed them off until she was like wait. holy darn i'm gay what the flip okay. also demiromantic, just like, never has crushes but knows she can

julia's bi. idk she just like, likes girls. she's never dated a girl but she lowk wants to, never told anyone

hear me out. mk, aromantic. always joked about how she was too busy with her tech to be into romance, then she realized she wasn't joking. also lesbian and nonbinary

nichelle is THE closet lesbian my god, straight on air but lesbian off set. got caught on a date with a girl once and literally had to make a whole 10 page insta slide explanation (everyone skimmed it, no one even cared, literally everyone still thought she was still straight UNTIL she made the post.)

axel is just so lesbian to me idk. her and ripper get together in season two tho so idk but i still live by the lesbian hc tbh

scary girl is just. scary. idk man she's not a girl or boy they are just an essence. unlabeled, asexual, probably uses any pronouns because as long as you're scared she don't care

emma is so transfem to me she is just a trans girl trust me. she's also bisexual and uses she/they. chill about telling people she's bi, but doesn't really bring up that she's trans unless she trusts you

raj is obviously gay. felt more free when he realized. lowk forced himself to have crushes on girls to fit in, like just thought you could choose someone and be like "yup ur my crush now"

wayne is either the BIGGEST straight ally ever or aroace. idk he just gives aroace vibes to me, also faked crushes. raj and wayne would LOWK be jealous of eachother for actually having crushes on girls ☠️

bowies gay of course. always just kinda knew, very very open about it. get's bullied for it sometimes but he doesn't care (the other person always get BODIED by his insults if bowie feels like it)

damien is transmasc and bi, pretty open about it. he doesn't mind telling people cause he doesn't care if they hate him for it. always shocks people when he comes out, he finds it funny

chase is so transmasc oh my god he has literally never told anyone and he is scared to. also the HARDEST bisexual closet case my god

zee idkk like maybe genderfluid bisexual asexual and uses any pronouns.

ripper is an on the low bisexual. wants to held by a MAN

anddd caleb idk probably straight ally

non sexuality related but

emma listens to laufey!

emma and chase havent come out to eachother about being trans. emma told chase about being bisexual and chase just kind of ghosted her for a few days

raj is autistic and wayne has adhd

damien listens to tyler, the creator

axel is def hispanic, she got that puerto rican blood in her i swear

damien got snake bite piercings

chase still payed for all of emmas subscriptions after they broke up ☠️

chase was buying tampons for emma and deadass asked her "babe what size yo pussy". she blocked and ghosted him for a good week

emma is an avid minecraft player, lowk got chase into it (they had a hardcore world for THREE YEARS and chase got them killed by a creeper when they were making a bakery for emma because he SWORE emma was paranoid for wanting to wear armor)

bowie used to be a track kid

emma tried to go vegan for like a week before she quit

damien is probably autistic

chase used to work at one of those kiosks at the mall that sell shitty overpriced sunglasses

priya has watched total drama more times than she can count. her parents didn't let her watch any other shows until she could memorize all the lines to island, action, and world tour if she was LUCKY

chase is a kpop stan

that's it. that's the post. same time next week guys???

#total drama #total drama island #total drama reboot #total drama headcanons #td priya #td millie #td julia #td mk #td raj #td reboot #td wayne #td bowie #td scary girl #td damien #td chase #td zee #td ripper #td emma #td nichelle #td axel #td lauren #td caleb

[artistic-intrxvert]

TBHK characters reacting to you cutting your hair (ftm!reader implied but you can imagine it how you would like)

I left out Aoi Akane (girl) since I didn't feel like writing for he but when I (eventually) open requests again and you guys want Aoi's reaction, let me know :)

Warnings: Mentions of dysphoria, I think that’s it? (Slight angst perhaps? There's fluff to it as well don't worry)

Definitely NOT proofread. You're welcome✨💅

-

Hanako

I feel like Hanako would have a few different reactions depending how short you cut it

For writing purposes, let's say that you get your first FTM haircut (again, you may imagine it how you would like, I'm doing FTM because there ain't a lot of those out there)

Boy would be

Shocked

To say the least

He'd need you to explain to him what exactly being trans means-

It'd take him a moment but then he'd understand...for the most part

He really likes your new haircut because then he can scruff it up a bit like an old man would do to his grandson

If anyone ever said something transphobic or you ever felt dysphoric, he'd be there ready to either kick the other person's ass or your dysphoria's

Overall very supportive but might mess up every once in a while (he's trying and that's all that matters <3)

Nene

She'd be quite shocked to say the least

She'd be very supportive tho!

She'd ask to mess with it if you felt comfortable with that, maybe and to see if you will let her try different styles for it (depending on how short you cut it)

100% respectful of your pronouns and name of you'd want her to refer to you as such

If anyone says something transphobic to you or your having a tough time...let's not forget her ass whooping from vol. 0... as for your dysphoria, she'd make sure you refer to you with more masculine terms to make you feel yourself that day.

Example: "You look so handsome today, (Name)! Did you style your hair differently? Looks very masculine!"

Overall very, VERY supportive and there to kick anyone's ass if she needs to

Kou

SUPPORTIVE. KOU.

(I love this man sm-)

Kou would probably be super busy around you at first, thinking your haircut looks really good on you

If you go by a different set of name(s) or pronouns, he will easily adapt and will make sure others respect you too

If someone is being an asshole about it, he will most certainly stand up for you and might even threaten to get the student council president involved (Teru here the sage the day-)

If you feel dysphoric, he's there to talk to you and just overall be there to help make you feel better

(i have a feeling he'd make donuts with your pride flags in icing on them ougjfahghgou)

Doesn't mess up once (okay maybe once or twice) and is there for you all the way

Tsukasa

Alright listen-

He deadass thought someone shaved your head in the hallway or smth- 💀

You had to explain you got your hair cut and that you use a different name and set of pronouns and all that jazz

He'd just kinda be like "ok. Nice.😀 . . .give me attention"

He'd still cling to you as normal and he surprisingly doesn't mess up once

He says it's like name-calling and he hates it because he says people used to do that to Hanako, or Amane, as he sometimes calls him

At any rate, he wouldn't let anyone misgender or dead name or even think of making fun of you because he'd immediately threaten that person with just a glance alone

If you ever felt dysphoric he'd just solve it with either cuddles or whispering nicknames for you with masculine meaning

Surprisingly supportive and respectful about it

Sakura

She knew about you being trans before you got a hair cut

For some reason i have a feeling that you told her about it before others since she seems like such a good person to talk to

When she sees your haircut, i think she'd just smile and say how it suits you

If anyone else in the broadcasting room says anything negative about your hair, she will not hesitate to hit them over the head with a book

If someone says something that is transphobic, she will use the broadcasting as a way to get revenge

If you feel dysphoric, she will invite you to a tea party date and dress you with some of the most masculine clothes for it to make you feel yourself

Sakura is honestly one of the main reasons i say i love women-

Very neutral reaction, but that's not a bad thing :)

Natsuhiko

I personally don't like Natsuhiko but i will try-

I think he'd believe that the LGBTQIA+ community was a myth or something (we all know he's dumb)

He won't be transphobic or anything, tho

He'd be supportive of you and say how your hair cut looks nice and that's about it lol

If anyone was ever being transphobic he would tell them to piss off

If you were feeling dysphoric, he'd comfort you with his best ability (mostly just saying how handsome you look in your uniform or something like that-)

Also very chill about it, supportive :)

Akane

Akane would be a little shocked but supportive

Honestly would be ready to shmck anyone that was rude to you about anything invoking your identity or haircut

That being said, if what the person said was transphobic, he'd beat that person up

If you were feeling dysphoric, he'd be there to comfort you offering to get a distraction if it would help you

Pretty supportive and very threatening to those that don't accept you

#tbhk x reader #jshk x reader #tbhk #jshk #hanako kun x reader #hanako x reader

[fallenrain40]

okay so... my gender rn... nonbinary maybe agender, also wolfgender and girlflux, also genderfluid since I feel different on different days, but alsooo proabably a few more xenogenders becuase random things give me gender envy BUT ALSO im probably a demi-girl or something but ALSO i might be cassgender or greygender BUT ALSO i could still be agenderfluid like i was before but how would that work if i'm feeling very strongly nonbinary and wolfgender atm???? but ALSO i could be partly passiogender??? heellppppp i just want to mash all these feeling into ONE label but i'm not satisfied with that becuase that just... doesn't work for me.

it's just really hard to tell if im REALLY nonbinary when i don't care too strongly about gender. and figuring out exactly what kind of nonbinary i am is very hard. and pronouns just. i like they/them atm best. but im also fine with she/her but honestly i dont really want to let people know that becuase thats not what i wanted used on me atm. like if someone does use it then whatever, i dont care but im not going to tell people TO use she/her on me yknow??? but also i still want my sonas referred to as she/her??? they are like a different gender than me, even tho they actually they aren't cause also they are me??? but ik im not a she/her nonbinary im a they/them- this is just way too confusing man before i just KNEW i felt nothing, that i was agender, but now i feel SOMETHING but when i try to figure out what it is its like its just. not there. even though it SHOULD be there. i FEEL something there but that something feels like nothing?????? arrrgghhghgh it's so hard to explain. and then there's the whole me being wolfgender thing, which I don't have any doubts about really but it only feels like a portion of my gender. like it's there yknow but its also not. idek. like, its my gender but even if it WASNT, wolves are still a big part of my identity in other ways hgfchvgbh

#gender crisis #nonbinary #agender #girlflux #wolfgender #genderfluid #agenderfluid #cassgender #graygender #gender #gender help #pls

[hanmasghost]

hiii is ur request open??? idk but i saw ur 'cheater get/got cheat' and i suddenly have this crazy ideas (but u can write this or not, ur choice hehe) so wherein bonten x reader's step-sister (u can pick whoever u want 'cause i can't really pick). wherein they have a affair with reader but they don't really love s/r anymore so yeah, they're being lovely-dovely infront of bonten members when suddenly s/r arrived, she got angry and was about to slap reader when a hand stopped her. so yeah they choose reader and broke up with s/r, i think fluff-angst (becoz s/r and reader fought) to comfort/fluff??

“The Thief, the Cheater, and the Jackass”

Please read my pinned post before requesting<3

Authors words:

I kinda have a hc of Koko and Ran being like, very competitive and petty, and it lowkey turned into a ship so uh- yeah- but I hope this still fits into your liking :] Also! Please don’t think this makes it okay to date someone else’s partner or cheat on your partner, thanks<3

Pronouns: He/Him

Warning(s): cheating, broken sibling bonds, toxic relationships, manipulative behavior, not proof read.

You knew it was wrong.

Dating your step sisters boyfriend and his assumed “rival”.

Her boyfriend? Kokonoi Haijime.

His quote on quote rival? Ran Haitani.

They weren’t really rivals, they just had some.. very petty arguments. Ran also had a tendency to be very flirty, especially with his friends and their partners, specifically Koko’s.

And here you are.

Sitting in the Bonten base and softly kissing and caressing them both. One of them being your step sisters boyfriend, who is currently laying in your lap on one of Bonten’s many couches.

Kokonoi was quite literally introduced to her as your crush. Then she started dating him 3 months later.

So she kinda stole him first, but they were in a committed relationship. You were not.

It was so wrong but oh god did it feel so right.

Kokonoi and Ran assured you that it was fine.

You still had concerns tho. She came home gloomy half the time saying that Koko seemed distracted by other things and didn’t fully pay attention to their dates.

It made you upset knowing that it was because of you.

You were snapped out of your thoughts as Ran poked your cheek.

“Is something wrong {Reader}?” Ran asked you, his finger still on your cheek.

“You ignored my question.” Koko said as he sat up, no longer laying his head on your lap.

“I’m fine. I just.. you know..”

Kokonoi looked at you sympathetically.

“Yeah.. when are you breaking up with her anyways?” Ran asked Koko as he got up and to the backside of the couch, now leaning inbetween you and Koko.

Kokonoi sighed. “It’s difficult.”

“Are you saying you love her as well as us?” Ran interrogated.

It was a good question.

Like yes, {S/N} is quite controlling over things, could it be possible she’s controlling over people as well?

I never thought about that..

“She’s quite, obsessive.” Koko seemed to have gotten quite grim, but he continued speaking “I truly loved your sister at first, I really did..” Koko sighed, “at one point she said she would throw Bonten under the bus, and out to the cops if I left her. I fell out of love after that.”

“Why would she say that? That’s not like her..” you mumbled, loud enough for both Kokonoi and Ran to hear you.

“I agree, last time we talked she was super nice.” Ran added.

“We had fought because I had gotten home later than I said I would and she accused me of cheating! Before you say anything, the fight was before we got together.”

“I was about to say..” Ran joked.

Silence.

“Bad time? Alright got it… I’ll go make some tea or something..” Ran laughed awkwardly and going to Bonten’s kitchen that they had just installed.

“That dumbass doesn’t even know how to make tea!” Koko grumbled as he kissed your forehead and stood up, “I’ll be right back. I need to teach Annabelle’s ex how to make tea before he ruins the kitchen somehow.” He than proceeded to go down the hallway behind the couch and to the kitchen.

As you sat there to gather and process the information you had just gathered you were quickly pulled out of it by a familiar voice.

“What the fuck?!”

You looked up to see your step sister.

Her face flushed red and eyes as cold as ice.

She looked absolutely furious.

Had she seen the whole encounter?

“How- how much did you-“

“I saw my boyfriend kiss you! That’s enough for me!” She yelled.

You jumped over to the other side of the couch, wishing you could just sink into the floor.

To be honest, if the guilt you felt actually weighed you down psychically, you probably would have.

{S/N} rushed over towards you and raised her hand to throw a punch. When she was about to make impact a hand caught her wrist.

You looked and say Ran, Kokonoi standing behind him with a tray of freshly made tea.

“What the fuck Ran?!” {S/N} screeched.

“I’m afraid that even if I let you hurt my darling {Reader}, you were in a very bad posture and probably wouldn’t have hurt them all that much while breaking your arm in the process. You should truly be thanking me.” Ran stated. “For now at least.”

Ran let go of her arm and {S/N} pulled it towards he chest.

“I think you need to leave.” Ran said, “the closest exit is that way.” Ran pointed towards a metal door that was behind you.

“Excuse me?! I think you mean this whore can leave while I talk to my boyfriend!” {S/N} said, raising her voice.

Ran’s face suddenly changed.

His once tense smile gone.

“First off, he’s our boyfriend. He fell out of love a long time ago. And {Reader} isn’t a whore! If anyone is it’s me!” Ran yelled at her.

Ran got up close to {S/N}’s face and whispered in her ear, “and if you even think about trying to rat out Bonten, just know just cause you’re somewhat related to {Reader} doesn’t mean you won’t go missing.” Ran moved back to the position he was in before. “So just leave my boyfriends alone yeah?”

“Yeah? Well uh- whatever! I came here to break up with him anyway!” {S/N} pushed past you and stormed out the metal door.

Ran turned around towards both you and Koko.

“So about that tea-“

*SPLASH*

“AH! The fuck?” Ran screeched.

Koko looked at Ran and frowned, “our tea got cold because of you.”

“Wha?-“

The two of them started bickering, and as funny as it was, you kinda wanted a nice warm cup of tea after that encounter.

“Let’s just go make some more tea, hm? Sound good guys?”

They stopped to look at you.

“Sure/hell yeah.”

“Shut up Ran.”

“I didn’t do anything?!”

Even if they started bickering again, it was nice to have things feel… normal.

Well- as normal as it can get.

Once Ran had changed and you guys made tea, you cuddled back on the couch and drank your tea.

“So.. it took ya two years but congrats! You’re officially ours now!” Ran laughed as he sipped his tea.

“Yeah yeah, shut up Ran.” Koko said as he leaned into your shoulder and softly sipped his tea.

“Yeah whatever, anyways… {Reader}? Are you okay? Did she hurt you in any way?” Ran questioned.

“No.. I just.. I’m only her step brother but I feel like her real, biological brother you know? So I feel… really bad… but I’m also happy that Koko officially just ours and not being manipulated into being with someone.” You sighed.

Neither really knew how to comfort you so they nonverbally decided that they would dote over you and shower you with kisses and cuddles. Both hoping that it at least made you feel a bit better.

They did this for the rest of the night until Takeomi found you three and kicked y’all out.

You all winded up staying at Kokonoi’s place and falling asleep later that night.

All cuddled up and everything.

It was all you could ever ask for.

#tokyo revengers x male reader #tokyo revengers x reader #x male reader #tokyo rev x reader #ran x male reader #ran haitani x reader #ran x reader #kokonoi x reader #kokonoi x male reader

[tumblasha]

why was i like that (tl;dr in tags)

today i clicked on sgc's ig profile and saw that they use they/them pronouns now. and it makes me want to cry.

bc even tho we Literally went to high school together-ish (they were 3yrs after me?) we had such different experiences.

i was a Girl who hung out with guys who didn't respect me, went out with a boyfriend who was nice to me, and was too shy / awkward / busy being that shy nerd stereotype [1] that i had no "deep friendship". you could ask anyone anything about me and they wouldn't know the answer! and i wouldn't know anything about them!! [2] bc we were a small class (169) and everyone in town was a mix of neighbor and cousin, i got my invites to parties and dances, but i overall felt like i was on autopilot. i don't remember my life until i was ~16 [3]!! why!!!

i think a lot about how dr uju anya had a whole husband and child but over time realized she was a lesbian. not to parasocialize too much with this academic weapon, but i feel like i also had this experience (to a much smaller / younger degree). and i feel so sad thinking about how i could've saved so much pain in high school if i had just known i wasn't wired to like guys like that [4].

and i remember lindie [5], someone who's ~30 now and has been with her now-husband since she was ~13. one day we had a good phone call (post-hs-graduation) and she told me that for literally everyone else she could possibly see romantically / sexually, she's a lesbian. but she and her husband have literally Grown Up together. her love for him is something that goes beyond platonic / romantic / sexual attraction. it's a life partnership in every sense of the term.

this phone conversation lit a lightbulb in my summer 2019 brain. i knew that this high school bf of mine could be a life partner. we started dating when i was 11 or 12 and !!! we both saw each other grow up (at least to some degree). but something in the pit of my stomach told me i couldn't live a lie like that. it wouldn't be fair to him for me to have this self-discovery and just .. continue as if it didn't happen?

and so when someone said that dr. uju's pre-lesbian marriage was "sad" bc she didn't know she was a lesbian, i got (in my head) defensive. bc "it's totally possible to be happy and ignore this part of yourself!" (it's not).

for the longest time i told myself that being bisexual was the easiest sexuality to have bc i knew i liked women and i could always just end up with a guy to make my family happy, if i had to, ya know? i got mentally defensive when ppl online said that "invisibility is not a privilege" and "biphobia is real" bc i was subconsciously using this label as a way to hide the fact that the mere thought of a life with a man made me anxious / nauseous / scared.

and boy did that fear kick into overdrive anytime i was around a guy. if he even smiled at me, i'd go a little silly. it didn't even matter if he was straight, bi, ace, gay, or anything, i'd just latch onto the fact that it was a Man talking to me and i couldn't stop thinking about them and any comment they made that made them seem bored / annoyed at me made me spiral about my self-worth. but if there was ever a case that i Thought they even Maybe had an interest in me, i'd get nauseous again. to this day i feel like i still put guys up on a pedestal so i just have ... no guy friends [6].

this novel is a silly way of saying the following things.

the label "lesbian" is a vibe rn

heartstopper is a painful show for me to watch

sorry if ur a guy i met before i turned 20 that i was weird around : ( /nbh

sgc looks so happy. they're out and they look so happy. why couldn't that be me.

why was i like that.

---

[1] i had a goofy jock bf tho so was it really so bad?

[2] and to a certain degree this continues today? i don't know how to hold a conversation, i don't know how to ask questions, i don't have good memory of the conversations i Do manage to hold, my #1 fear is playing the newlyweds game with literally anybody. i once described making friends as 'learning a person's scripts / common conversation topics' and the other person in the room just kinda said 'haha yeah...' and i continued to pset :skull:

[3] and 16-17 was my sad era where i cried basically any time my bf and i were alone together. that man was so patient w me lmao

[4] why do i always say no? why can't i just calm down? why is it weird to describe us as 'friends but we also make out'?

[5] one of the coolest ppl i know. (death + suicide mentioned in this footnote) she was the french teacher that replaced my old french teacher after she died, and lindie really suffered for us. bc it was a catholic school, she was forced to cover up her tattoos, and she had to wear longer clothes (admin always told her to cover up even when she was wearing Long Clothes). she went through so much (miscarriage, lost here sense of self, etc.) and was literally suicidal but she still showed up for us. one of my fav teachers and an inspiration to this day.

[6] except for the two dudes (that might be) reading this, y'all are cool and literally the best. afaik i've been Normal around y'all so yay! growth!!

#tl;dr: if it wasn't obvious i used to be a pick-me LMAO but now i'm better (nonbinary lesbian? that seems good for now) #/nbh = nobody here (tone tag) #this is a jumbled mess #pls don't feel pressured to read this #just hit that like button and keep scrolling wahfioejwa #dash rambles #coming out #sorta

[wanderrlust0]

sorry i wont shut up about this but i feel so conflicted right now!!D; and maybe typing it all out will help???

and I highly suggest to not read this unless you want to be here for an hour reading nonsense LOL

im seeing my bestie friday so im gonna tell her everythinggg and get her opinion on all of this before i see him again in a few days.

i just started to hang out with a "new" friend but it makes my bf uncomfortable and idk what to do about it... and tbh im not going to stop being friends with them:/ ik that sounds kinda shitty on the surface but its like asking me to cut someone off right after getting to know them.

im gonna explain almost all of the context....

okay, so... 2020 was a ruff year. it was covid and quarantine. my mom was super super strict about it. once people began to hang out in small circles bc cdc said it was okay to, while still being careful, i was still not allowed to leave my house. i felt soso isolated and alone and it was def one of my lowest moments. me & my bf were basically in a long distance relationship.. or thats what it felt like. all we had was facetime. he started to hang out with his friend from school more often (i had stuff to say to him about that & its in another post). after a couple of months, my mom finally let us see each other.. but it had to be in my backyard only and we couldn't be close. it was okay at first but after a while we got bored and wanted more. he got impatient and petty about it. i understood where he was coming from but i was trying to be as optimistic as i could, even tho it was hard. its bc even for like the 1-2 hrs i got to see him, it made my day. (my friends were also starting to hangout in their backyards but i never told my mom bc i figured she wouldnt let me go.. but when i told her afterwards, she said she would have..??)

it was getting colder outside which made it harder for us to see each other. it was also just a sucky situation and it was creating some resentment. he wanted to talk with me on ft about it and i knew it would be serious. AND IT WAS. he did most of the talking and it was leading to a breakup. BUT (this is important) he couldnt for the life of him break up with me, let alone say the words.. SO.. he suggested that we do a break. neither of us have done that before but its obvious that it means its temporary and you use that time to figure things out and get some space (we DEFINITELY shouldve been clearer about it). he got emotional and i held mine in. he was saying all these good things about me and how he still wants me in his life and that we can get together again; that we would still talk everyday and be friends. at the time, weve been dating for about a year and a half. right after we hung up i bawled my eyes out and immediately facetimed my best friend in FL.

days go by and me and him are still talking everyday, only in a more friendly, platonic manner. eventually, he starts replying later and later, he turns off his location, and its like i feel forgotten about. im so used to knowing what hes doing that now it feels weird to not know and its hard to adapt to these changes.

I download tinder to find some FRIENDS to talk to (only for girls). he was barely talking to me and i was questioning our friendship relationship (situationship i guess). although i dont remember the details of my profile, i DEF made it clear that i was on there for making friends only. i had no intention of pursuing anyone for a relationship... bc i had my "bf" still. HE clearly went a diff route during our break....too much to unpack there but in the end, it just made him want to come back to me.

So.... Snow (that is their nickname ive given them for tumblr) was one of those people who i chatted with on tinder. theyre female but identify as they/them (i dont think they used those pronouns when we first started talking tho). they msgd first and our convo was actually really long-lasting so we followed each other on IG. (theyre also not the only one i've exchanged IG with so its not like i only gave it to them). Yes, I thought they were pretty when i swiped. sue me. i think many people are pretty. its just me acknowledging when someones aesthetically pleasing. eventually, we talked less and i also went on tinder less. After about a month into me and my bfs break, he begins to talk to me more like he used to. Then he asks if he can see me bc he missed me. Still cant leave my house with him but we hang out and its nice. HE ASKS ME IF I MET ANYONE NEW. i say no and hes like ...really?you sure? I ask him the same and he says no (while breaking eye contact,, literal red flag but i was blindsided). he tells me the truth over FT and that ruined me way more than i let on. (i think he's feeling a similar way now but for diff reasons)

we got back together after and the rest of the year (2021) was super fun. weve now been together for almost 4 1/2 years! since our BREAK NOT BREAKUP (not me @ ing him when he wont even see this) me and snow comment on each others IG posts now and again. for ex, ive said they looked so prettyyy & i would compliment their makeup skills. they would reply in a cute/flattery way. thats how they reply to comments. theyre also very embellished, like with emojis. theyve commented on my pics saying i look cute and hyping me up with compliments as well. it just turned into a natural, mutual thing; idk how else to describe it. its like having an online friend where you only interact thru the comments to show kindness. LOL IDK that sounds corny but yeah. girly things i guess. & then irl its so subdued.

so aside from the comments, we would react to each others stories like once in a blue moon. they posted about watching demon slayer so i said its a good anime. i posted me and my bfs halloween costumes and they said we looked so cute. fast fwd to the end of last yr... we said happy bday to each other and i brought up the idea of possibly hanging out one day if theyre down. so yes, i asked first. they said they would love to and that they were glad i asked bc they were too anxious to ask themselves (mood). im surprised at myself that i even asked but i guess i felt comfortable enough.

(i feel like im writing my own biography omg..) anyways, we get each others numbers and talk about our schedules. we were both very busy so nothing happened. we sporadically made small talk, as one does with their internet friend, over a couple of months. we talked on IG more & also thought about the plans for when we hang out. its now like almost summer and they text me asking if i was free last minute to hang out bc they were gonna be in my town but i was busy.

its now like a month later and i see them at the mall with their friend when i was with my bf. (i already spoke about this so i wont repeat it). after that day, we finally made a day to hang out. bf wasnt happy about it; i tried to reassure him; he saw and still sees them as someone to worry about; he thinks im gonna do something stupid and act out on any fantasies i may have. he knows im bi; he sees snow as someone who looks queer. he thinks that our intentions are to get closer to each other in a way that crosses a friendship.

he saw me listening to a playlist titled sapphic energy. it just consists of songs i enjoy by female artists and ive had that playlist for a long time now. i only edited the title.. but just now i switched it back to what it was before so thats ONE thing "fixed" to make him at ease.

he doesnt believe me when i tell him that my only intention and motive here is to make a good, new friendship. THATS ALL I WANT. AND THATS ALL SNOW WANTS. i can see how it can look like its more from an outside perspective bc of our IG comments but it was not like that in person at all!! it just felt like hanging out with a friend and introducing new things to each other like shows and foods. snow even made it clear that once someone is their friend, they cant see them any other way and that formed to protect their feelings. when we hung out there were literally no signs of feelings or anything that would cross boundaries. i didnt get that feeling i get when i have a crush and lose all my brain cells. by our second hang out we were past any awkwardness and it felt like a regular day out with a friend.

I did look cute that day but i always dress up!!! i dress up like every time i see my bf. i dress up for work. i dress up when im going out with friends. i enjoy fashion and makeup and looking pretty,,

last yr he was using bumble friends and he met up with a guy but they havent hung out since. ive helped him swipe on people before and i was okay with it, except when it was like an attractive girl.. would that be hypocritical of me tho?...idk. we def both get kinda jealous over these things. i can get territorial, like he is mine lol i am his. we would never be open or add a third and the thought of him befriending new females made me nervous. especially after what happened during our break. like idk, that still sticks with me and makes me think of bad feelings..and even more especially now after finding out about what he and his friend did.. but me feeling nervous about that is like what HE is feeling (T-T) I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT I CAN DO TO HELP AND IT SUCKS. i dont think i catch feelings easily. i dont get butterflies over people easily. im not an openly sexual person.

like. am i being unfair by continuing this friendship? snow doesnt know how he feels about us. idek if its worth telling but im gonna wait till more time passes and see how things go. would him hanging out with us make him feel better?? would it be too weird? he already doesnt like the idea of snow so how would he be in a room with them.

i wanna fast fwd to friday so i can tell my bestie about it and then fast fwd to sunday so i can see him. he is still not back to his usual self when we talk on snap. he tries to save serious confrontations for in person bc he sounds angry thru text so even tho itll make me nervous, i still wanna work this out so it doesnt ruin our relationship.

#mypost #journal

[sof-ingtired]

I'm supposed to be asleep right now, I told my partner I was going to go to bed and hung up with it almost an hour ago. But I'm me and the moment I go to go to bed any exhaustion and tiredness I felt is gone.

This isn't about that tho...this is how I was watching some shorts and I saw one that really struck me and made me dissolve into quiet sobs at my desk and go into my text history and scroll down to find my Gammaw

The video was about losing someone...and how it's see you later, not goodbye and It made me sob,,I'm still crying to be honest, but the video made me think of my Gammaw, this strongheaded midwestern old woman who wanted nothing but her grandkids to be happy.

She didn't understand things, she was born in 1939 in Southwest Missouri, she was a carny, she dropped out of school at 14 and worked until she met my Papa, a man I don't have memories with because he passed when I was a year old, just before my sister was born.

She was a strong-willed woman, she was my Gammaw. She was sweet and called people ignorant. She was a bit old fashioned but didn't hold her tongue. She would call you out with no fear.

When i came out to her she told me all she wanted was for me to be Happy. She tried her best to use my name and pronouns but she slipped up, she was in her late 70s. She loved her grandkids with a fierce passion and had snacks and drinks in her closet for us and tutted at my Padre when he got a drink because "those are for the kids!"

She was a key part of my life growing up, I spent a lot of weekends with my Aunt and her, we'd go clean banks until she retired when I was 11.

She sat on the couch in a specific spot because it had the best view of the TV. She watched her 'soaps', General Hospital and The Bold and The Beautiful, I lost track of their plots long ago but she knew every little detail and loved to yell at the characters for their dumb choices

She watched football with my uncle and would scream at the players for doing something incredibly stupid and them fumbling the play. She loved football, it made her so mad but she loved it.

She was a whole foot shorter than me and the last time I was there with her it felt like she was even shorter as she hunched her back and used her walker to get around, her oxygen running loud but a noise I welcomed because I knew that it helped her.

When i was having horrible issues with my mental health and my mother didn't want me in her home she welcomed me with wide open arms and let me spend my days at her house, she made me get things off the high shelves because "You're just so tall"

I remember her softly talking to me and letting me curl up on her bed, my uncle gently moving my hands from my own arms as I dug into them while having a panic attack on her couch, my tutor was supposed to be coming over and my gammaw wanted me to rest

I hated the texture of that bedding but It was hers. Bedding I spent countless days sick on when I was little because I spend so so much time at her house and my aunts.

My Gammaw didn't know how texting really worked, I helped her countless times with her phone. She liked using emojis and didn't know text talk but she tried, using "lol" a horrendous amount.

My last text to her was when she was sick,,,not even a full month before she passed in 2021, it'll be 2 years in june. The last thing she ever texted me was that "I love you too". I will never be able to express how happy I am, even I sit here sobbing as I type, that the last things we said to each other were that we loved each other. I have it in solid writing, I can look back on it at any time and sniffle because I miss her.

I miss her so fucking much.

I don't even know why I'm telling you all this about her, all I know is that I need to tell people about her. How she was old and didn't get it but did her damn best.

My point...was that Grief is not kind. Grief stick around longer than you ever may think. Sometimes it makes you sob and want nothing but to bring them back, and I do, I want nothing but to hug my Gammaw, for her to call me ignorent. Sometimes it makes you sit there and sob and laugh at the times you had.

Grief is a funny thing, everyone grieves in their own ways. My padre makes dark jokes, my sister and I make dark jokes. Our older siblings can't handle those same jokes and that's okay.

You might think your grief is over until it smacks you in the face and makes itself known once again.

#grief #cw grief #tw implied death #im...very emotinal #my head hurts from crying #im actually going to go to bed now #i have work in the morning #remus rambles

[twelvedaysinaugust]

I listened to the podcast today that was recommended by that one anon the other day! It changed my whole perspective, completely. After hearing all the shit that was said in this episode (and in the others, there are 3 or 4 with this girl) I have no hopes at all they will ever come out individually let alone together. At least not as long as they are working. The girl in the podcast did break down everything she has experienced as someone who is and was completely unknown while in a queer closeted relationship with a famous singer. Nobody knew about them and only one of these two were a celebrity and they still were forced apart, they were literally dragged into a break up. They broke up even tho they didn’t want to. Their team kept them apart on purpose so much that they even made sure to change their phone numbers so they couldn’t keep in touch with each other anymore after the break up.

They experienced everything that we always assume about h and L situation and about closeting in general, it’s all real and it happens the way we think. Queer celebrities can’t come out in Hollywood and if so only under certain conditions set up by their team. That’s what happens to Harry. He can be out but only in a very vague undefined way. Queer artists can’t be specific about their sexuality, lyrics get changed by their team, they have to use gender neutral pronouns and only can change them on stage bc on stage they are more free, it’s harder to “confirm” or proof anything so that’s the place where they can express themselves more the way they want to even tho their team wont be happy about it, but they can get away with that.

They talked about Taylor and Diana and Kaylor for the most part, I’m not into these ships. But she confirmed that management teams make sure that they are not even in the same country officially when there’s rumors or suspicious fans, at least for like 6 months or more. She confirmed that queer artists do a lot of queer coding and signalling to let their fans know and they hope that fans will notice and talk about it, they want to be seen. If it happens regularly it’s not a coincidence, that’s what she said and repeated a few times. And it’s telling if stars have a large queer fanbase bc queer people kinda find and see each other. She told about her meeting with a very famous actress in her 60s who already has had their hight of their carrier, a literal icon that apparently is in a very obvious glass closet today but even she in her situation isn’t able to come out and probably never will. This woman was in closeted relationships herself and it didn’t work out bc of the circumstances.

There was so much more they talked about and I’m just so done. I know nothing of this is news to any of us but it was terrifying for me as someone who is queer to get this confirmed by someone from the other side who has experienced it all. She said it’s not so much about the people themselves, it’s about the industry and the environment they are in.

After listening to all that I just think it’s not surprising at all we haven’t seen Louis and Harry together for 7 years. Actually, that makes it even more real to me tbh. If it’s already so fucked up when there’s only one celebrity involved in a queer relationship, I don’t wanna imagine how it’s like for two super famous and popular stars to be with each other. Especially when there’s millions of fans who try everything to find out about them and keep track of every step they do. Honestly, I don’t know how they would make it work.

Typing all of this in was probably a bit unnecessary but maybe it’s helps to navigate the current situation without all these negative feelings towards Louis. I don’t know what life is like for neither him nor Harry but if they are queer and together it’s probably just as hard for them as for this girl in the Podcast. 🙁

Thanks for sharing, nonnie. Lots of interesting thoughts here.

In reference to this.

#sadly I have not listened to the podcast yet #just because life has been hectic #but I will asap

[transenbyconfessions]

I don't know how to say this but I need to say it.

I have been questioning my gender for almost three years now, and I think I finally figured out. I don't feel like an specific label is made up for me, the closest I get is being a non binary girl. I kind of like being a girl but I also fricking would love being enby. So that's that.

Early in the day while I was still figuring out this, I was way more open about it. I didn't really got out of the closest, but I allowed myself to experiment with a made up binder (I sometimes look back at that time and think about how idiot I was back then, once I tried to bind with some big hairbands and I didn't even last an hour until I was choking. Another time I tried to use a bandana and got it stuck so I went all my day of school with that thing badly tied around by stomach. Gosh I was so dumb xdd. Don't worry y'all I eventually got my hands on two way-to-small tops that were the safest way to go and I used them responsably.) I allowed myself to put she/they on my social medias (my parents don't usually check my media and they don't really know much english so I was safe). I even dared to draw my flag sometimes and it would make me so happy.

But the things is that, recently, some of my close friends came out as another gender. One is trans and the other is non binary. My parents eventually heard of their thing through different ways.

The thing is that my parents aren't homophobic. They always told my siblings and I that they wouldn't have any kind of problem if we liked girls when we grew up and that, and they seemed really supportive of mtf and ftm trans people.

But when my friends did come out (kinda)...

They say that they believe they are just seeking attention. They laught at my enby friend's gender, they kind of low key mock it off. They say things like the world is going mad and that next thing is someone identifying as an animal or something. I have to laught along. They say they support but that holy cow that sounds invented and things like that.

I also had a problem with my classmates. One of them, somehow found my old twitter account, that I hadn't touched in months and in which I have the pronouns they/them specified. They leaked it to my classmates and they were asking me about it, including some girls that are really mean to me. I freaked out and I made up a story about some old friend of mine that used to be a girl but was now nb and whom I gifted my twitter account, I even logged in to make some fake tweet addressing it. They kind of belived it. But then again, they started mocking that one friend for their gender. I knew they weren't real, but it hurted.

Because of this reasons I decided to make a decision.

I am gonna be a non-binary girl, but no one will know. I am never coming out to anyone ever again.

At this point I came on terms with my boobs, they are small anyway and since I love baggy clothes most of the times they don't show. My parents leave me dress as I want anyway so it's pog on that sense. I can't really use my fake binder atm cuz I had covid and since then I haven't really recovered and it hurts so bad and I can't breathe, but if it ever goes away and I need it, it's there.

It's ok if I can't use they pronouns too, she/hers are also good and I can deal with it. It's not like in spanish we have any that sound good and on the internet most people would call me a she anyway.

I feel it would be easier this way. I will hide the non-binary part of my gender away. The good thing tho is that one day I will live on my own. I wouldn't be able to come out on the public but maybe, one day I will be able to have a little nb flag. I will hide it when people come visit, but I always wanted one and it will be so pog. My little secret.

It's kind of sad that I have to hide it, but I'm trying to find the positives. Less backlash plus I get to be a little spy among the other girls. It sounds so dumb but I like to thing of it like an adventure to not be sad.

I can't not say my name for obvious reasons, but to all of you. I'm here. I can't say hi. I can't reveal who I really am but I'm here, hidden. I'm here. I'm they. Please don't forget about me.

And if you ever come across a blog, talk about them with neutral pronouns in default and I don't correct you... that's cuz you are not wrong.

Maybe one day I get to come out, if the world ever changes enough but for now I will wait here. I'm not giving up I swear.

#trans #transgender #nonbinary #non binary #non-binary #nb #enby #transphobia #nbphobia #enbyphobia #nonbinaryphobia #gender dysphoria #binding #unsafe binding practices

[stolencrownsofplenty]

GET TO KNOW YOUR ADMIN !!

name — Phoenix; Nix is even good if you want to keep from using a mouthfull of a name :D

pronouns — They/Them/He/Him/She/Her. I prefer any of these, but am cool with they/them used mainly for convenience.

preferred comms — Just prefer discord as my main communication. Tumblr IMs are used to either add someone or if they don't have a discord at all.

name of muse — The Emperor, or in some other cases The Lamb. (They do have a mortal name, but they don't remember it so dw about it.)

experience in RP — As far as memory serves, I have 10 years of RP experience under my belt. First started on Fa.cebook with an OC I've long forgotten due to it being a self insert, but eventually settled into tumblr when I discovered the website because of meme reposts. I did not know an RPC existed on here until two years in that the community was super active at that time. Went from FN.AF muses, Stev.en Uni.verse briefly, did Por.tal 2 muses for a few months, then got stuck with MS.A muses and CO.TL canon and OC muses to make up my whole history on here. I know my way to adapt to villain and hero personalities, and have years of character study with different personalities to know my way of getting the right nudge of perfecting a character personality.

Would that be enough to say I have a passion for a my craft? That's up for you to debate lmao.

best experiences — I vaguely remember getting my entire dashboard to go into a cursing (saying fuck) frenzy for a few hours when I was posting crack commentary with a few people I don't write with anymore. The RPC for MS.A was still pretty big and active back then in 2018, so when I followed a ton of those blogs, everyone kinda knew everyone; and thats where it started. I think it even went to non MS.A blogs too, but I won't too sure since I wasn't paying attention at that point.

pet peeves/dealbreakers — In general breaking boundaries one will set for their own well being. Yet another thing that turns me way off is not being matched with the same amount of enthusiasm I may have with interacting with someone. I do try my best to interact as much as possible, but it does put a damper on ones mood when the person at the end of me reaching out doesn't really reciprocate my interested energies. Yeah, irl stuff often comes first and whatnot, but if we haven't interacted during the first few months of following each other? I'll just unfollow and softblock, just to save myself my wasted time.

Sometimes people don't click and that's okay. It still sucks, but ya gotta move on with life though.

muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — i don't really have a preference, as I'm normally fine with whatever my rp buds may want to throw at me. Smut I may be semi-selective with, but its not off the table if I know you and your muse enough if that's something you're interested in. I'm still outta practice when it comes to that one, but in general I like to put my muses in situations and just let them react to it. Sometimes you can get the best threads (as long you guys got the base idea plotted out) with spontaneous works.

plot or memes — Got a preference for memes as icebreakers, but plotting does get that foot in the door as well. I like the icebreakers just to let people or myself put themselves out there because it gives people a chance to interact without the pressure of having to write someone out in major detail. But I do also prefer plotting with a loose guideline when me and my RP partner can be confident enough around each other with what we both may want out of an rp thread.

long or short replies — depends on my mood and how much energy/time i have to spare! typically though, i write longer replies; i like to give lots of detail and really set the mood with my posts. it doesn't super matter to me how much my partner writes tho, i kinda just do my own thing regardless...but shorter stuff has its perks, too. so i guess i can go either way!

best time to write —Whatever my muses is feeling tbh. I do not control how my muse energy works, but I do know I am the type of putting all my moves into one big attack and then having to rest for the rest of a gaming match sorta deal. Replies take a lot out of me and I have only a limited amount of spoons when it comes to it. I let my muse guide me and help keep them track on the way so it doesn't derail the entire thread.

are you like your muse?: I mean,,,,, They ARE a self insert I created for my own enjoyment and control fantasy, but I will say I do strictly follow the mun=/=muse rules; while my muse may be a murder and cannibalistic with a colony of followers who would die for them, I do not reflect my character. Anything that happens in fiction stays in fiction. I like my character because they help with the confidence boost, but I still keep them at a distance when it comes to "am I like my muse?" questions. I love them to pieces though as any OC creator is with their baby. Just gotta remember that if I ever met them irl I would run for the hills lmao.

TAGGED: @damnlamb TAGGING:

#dash games #ooc

[lilmaymayy]

hey friends! this is just a quick intro post in case you want to know a bit more about me/the blog🤭

** DISCLAIMER**

PLEASE BE KIND in this blog i will not entertain ANY hate/aggressive/mean interactions THEY WILL BE DELETED OR IGNORED, in the past where i did respond, it never left my mind and i never knew how to react, leaving me to be negatively affected by someones fleeting thoughts. so to avoid anyones displeasure please be respectful and conscious of your actions and words!! if not- 👉🚪we dont need that energy here

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*im also on mobile so apologies for any bad formatting😭😭

hello! my nicknames may and i use she/her pronouns. when sending any msgs id appreciate a quick hello but as long as your being polite i will gladly respond. feel free to address me as may or any other (kind) phrase (e.g queen/baddie?? anythings fine as long as youre being nice)

do u see the theme😘

i like to keep my age off of here simply for privacy but i can assure you i am not a minor, but if you are, you are welcome on my page any time just be aware i do swear and the content that i reblog can be nsfw, but ultimately you are responsible for the media you decide to consume.

i do not write fics(i always reblog them tho😉/also beta! so if youre a writer in need just lmk) idk if i ever will(write)but i dont realistically see that happening😭.

in the search bar for my page you can see all these hashtags, i typically tag “give it a read💋” for any fics ive betad and “she speaks🗣️” for any post thats just me yappin💀

and any character names (like finnick odair, peter parker etc.) are the bulk of fics that i reblog and you can find works for that character under those tags!

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im a full time student based in sunny california😍, my favorite things have to be fruits(tops gotta be strawberrys, cherrys anddd green grapes), fics, and folklore (3 fav f’s💋) (and yes i am a swiftie). last time i took the personality test i got ISTJ, but i swearr im still an infp. every single test i took told me i was a hufflepuff (were not lame i swear), and even though i swear up n down that im a laurie.. i might be an amy😔( i want to be great or nothing😫) and a song that i just feel for is probably a three way tie between teenage dream by olivia rodrigo, this is me trying by taylor swift and dreamer by laufey(not someone i typically listen to but whenever spotify puts her song i always love it)

favorite artistss gotta be the big three taylor, lana and ariana (nothing offish theyre just my most listened) and drake.. and bad bunny.. and olivia.. and sza.. and beyonce.. and the weekend.. and rihanna

- if you want a grasp of my music this is a LINK to my most played playlist

- this is a LINK to my more lovey/ sweet songs, its all in the description💋

*if u give em a listen and u wanna put me on.. msg me!! id love to hear your recs

my hobbies include playing music, i play guitar(kinda goodish) and i wanted to pick up piano too (idk if ill ever get to this😭) i also found that i love to do puzzles, and i wanted to start scrapbooking (looks fun af lowk). a few other things i love is definitely just jamming out to my tunes, sleeping😫😫, watching movies, playing w legos😭, PLAYING WITH MY DOGGIESSS (i have two, rocky and lily both are maltese poodles💋💋), baking (hate the clean up tho) i also love selfcare, its always good to prioritize urself but i mean the cassie method of everything showers, lotions, body oils, body mists/ perfumes, face masks, skin care (allllllll the goodies) just to finish the day off with a fic (its deadass my nightly routine to shower, get ready for bed/unwind, tumblr)

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now onto.. CELEBRITY CRUSHES!!

-CELEBRITY not character, but if i missed any lmk😝

-this is a long one so bearrrrr with me

my top 5 currently is🥁🥁🥁

1. sam claflin (been obsessed, still obsessed, i dont see this changing *unless timothee wanna quit playin🙄)

2. tom blyth (tbosbas was life changing.. hes so💋💋)

3. andrew garfield (im considering moving my man up to 2 bc hes an og for this list likee hes been on my brain since he was fan casted as our remus lupin and will stay there😌)

4. jacob elordi (newest addition, saltburn edits is the sole reason why hes here plus hes so fucking tall like i deserve that height difference *for reference im 5 ft😈)

5. timothee chalamet (i love him so much BUT HES DOWN HERE BC OF KYLIE😭*he would be 1 otherwise🥲)

for other hotties ..

OSCAR ISAAC🥵🥵😫-i need this man in bed rn

charlie brushnell😘-new addition but again he is taking over just like pjo is

tom holland- zenny baby he is all yours but that man shirtless? YUMMYYY

tom hiddleston- only rzn to watch the thor series

theo james - YOU THE ONE FOUR ME hes so fine i watched divergent (still a great series) for him n i was not dissapointed

aaron t— johnson- i do not want to mention his 🤐 but he is so fine his calvin klein ads?? KICKASS??

ben barnes- shadow n bone.. YUMMY YUMMY🤭🤭also sirius? likeee runaway to my house?

cillian murphy- ik he lowk looks like he got a bad case of botox.. BUT CMONNN PEAKY BLINDERS???

callum turner- i knew i was hooked since that harry potter movie he has like 10 minutes in🥰🥰

dylan o’brien-ima be honest im not DIE HARD in love but this man was fine since maze runner and teen wolf n will be till hes in the graveee

henry cavill- enola mf holmes.. INTRODUCE ME TO YOUR BROTOHER LIKE😍😍😍 i need this man to investigate all my internal organs

hugh laughton scott- hes just so pretty i just😘

harrison dickinson- love at first sight of darkest minds😍😍( its a discontinued movie (supposed to be) series) i need him in more shit

joao felix- my bestie pmo fifa AND HE DOES NOT DISSAPOINTT

josh hutcherson- i could not make this list without pookie

matthew gray gubler- i need him to read me to sleep, sing me to sleep, talk about anything so i can sleep, he brings me so much joy with that smile and hes so sweetie pie i could go on forever

robert pattinson- TEAM EDWARD FOR LIFEEEEEEEE

drew starkey?- idk his name but hes the hottie who plays rafe cameron IVE NEVER WATCHED THE SHOW (or anything hes in) but holy shit that man is tall and pulls off ANY hair cut

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well if youve made it this far thank you for taking the time to read this! if you want to know some more about me msg me in any way and ill respond, maybe ill add that info here. thanks again for your attention! love you all😘

#she speaks🗣️ #introduction #whole explanation for what happens here #lmk if smt needs more elaboration ig? #but thanks for clicking!!!

[sweetcafa]

I love you.

Nova x reader fic

Btw nova uses both male and female pronouns in this fic

Warnings:none

Nova⤵️

————————————————————————

Nova and you where close.

Like really close, you never knew how you guys became such good friends. I mean it was like yesterday when you where helping the nurse with students when a clumsy pink haired girl walked in. They looked tired and had bruises on every inch of there leg.

You couldn't just stand there. Besides they seem so kind and sweet when you placed them on one of the beds in the nurses office. While cleaning and checking there legs they keep saying they where sorry. Telling you the story of tripping on the staircases while holding some boxes. When questing them further you found out they where the leader of the occult club. Your face became pale as a shiver went down your spine. You had heard rumors of this supposed "occult club". How they where all weirdos worshiping the devil and drinking goats blood.

Tho nova seem like the complete oboist of what you imagine those people looked like. Your mind wonder and asked mostly questions about her club.

She only told you some things before you batched up his bruised legs. Sending them off to there class as time had pass fast to you. Once nova left saying there goodbyes you felt a breath of air leave you. Like you where struggling to breath with them just the presence of him. Soon you began noticing nova at random times of the school.

At lunch they sit at the garden site right next to the school. Having small talk with many of the garden club members. And even helping out with weeds and planting. You notice how when the school gates where closed he stood under one of the trees in front of the school yard. The way the sun hit his face made you somewhat feel red. As if you yourself was feeling extremely overwhelmed .

Tho one day it all felt strange. There where whispers in the halls. And every turn you took was as if you where stepping into the most scariest place on earth. But why?! What in all days made this one so much more worse. Everyone seemed so infected with this aura. Students,teachers alike seemed drained and made half of the day feel like time was no longer moving. But that's when you noticed nova. They seem liked themselves. There face smiling even when others coward and feared just when they turned there head. Even the many students and teachers who know nova well didn't bother to stop this strange feeling that followed nova everywhere. Tho that's when your last class came when a student came over. There face was sweating and fearful. Like if they where being watched.

They had given you a note? What for? The note was in a simple envelope with a heart shaped sticker on top of the fold. Once they left You decided it was best to read it after everyone left. You don't want that much attention, once everyone left You ripped the note carefully reading it in your head.

"Dearest y/n"

I have been wishing to speck to you for a while. I have been seeing you more and more, I simply can't ignore your presents now. Please speck to me on the top of the roof E-wing behide the generator.

I will wait till the end of the day to see you. Your dearest hun"

-Love"

Your face went from confused to red to even more confused. You knew that just reading this it was of a secret admirer. Your wondered if it was the woman who gave you the note. Maybe they where worried or something when giving it to you? Who knows but you knew that maybe it was best to meet this person. You thought about it before packing your stuff and walking out of class.

You took slight deep breaths before going up to the first flight of stairs up to the roof.

*a few minutes later*

Once upon opening the roof doors you felt a slight breeze. The wether was cold while the bright sun was still very upon noon. You walked over to the E-side of the roof, once being close to the generator you heard the sound of shoes clicking. As if someone was anxious. You slightly walked closer seeing nova. Her face showed only discomfort and the sudden light blush only made you want to turn back. Nova was gonna confess to you?! But why,for once you knew how this would end.

You might need to reject her.

You liked nova, but you two had barely talked, a slight wave or glance was all you guys did. And to be honest you didn't know much about nova to began with. You heard rumors but you can't take those as fact. It was to late your already stood there too long. Nova finally saw you, a slight squeak came out bringing you back to attention. Her face was frozen and she might of wanted you to lean into a conversation.

"Nova? Umm-you wanted to speck with me?" You said raising the letter in hand. "Yes! Dear-I mean y/n. I wanted to tell you this but..I dint know when it was appropriate to speck on this matter." Her face slight shifted and if she was preparing himself. The quite and golden sight around you two was of many you seen in books,romance movies and even in the many short love story's you read on sometimes. She looked back at you before walking somewhat closer.

"..Y/n I was wondering if you wish to

.

.

.

Be my friend?" Nova looked back at you her face red as her ears poked out her fluffy pink hair.they looked red. But that only confused you more. Nova was confessing to be your friend. You wanted to say something but nova began to speck soon after the silence. " I know it seems strange. But ever since we meet I didn’t have the change to speck to you after we meet at the nurses office. The way you where kind and never shown me any rudeness or hostile anger to me made me feel safe in a way. I want to keep feeling that comfort and safety with you dear!" Nova faced you before bowing and placing both arms at the side.

" Y/n! Would you do me the honer and letting me hang out with you! As a friend and as a person!"

You froze once more.

Your tone turn soft as a small giggle came from your lips. Nova keep her head down coming back to a sanding position, and once you stoped you walk over to him."nova you didn’t need to be this former..besides I would love to hang out with you more." You didn't have time before nova looked straight at you. His face looking as if a kid was given a cake on there birthday ready to blow out the candles."Oh dear you mean that!" She smiled her hands back to her front. "Of course! Why would I not want to be with you?" It only took sometime but that ended with both you and nova walking out of school. Both of you carrying each there own book bad talking and smiling.

Once she left,seeing her walked up to her apartment waving bye every step you couldn't help but smile. Your foot stoped hitting your parents porch before walking in. Laying your stuff you can't think of a better person to walk home after school with. Eating with your family and finishing any work you rested back to bed. The dark room only giving silence. You thought if nova was going to meet you at the front gate smiling as happy as he was later that day. You knew you would love to wake up much earlier then before.

With a slow turn and closing your eyes. You felt your face red as a you smiled at the thought of what you be able to do with your new

Dear

Friend

Nova💚

___________________________

Shout out to my bbgs. You all know who y'all are >:). Cause. Might make more. Or even other fandom x y/n. The old "I guess I will just do it myself move 👹" anyway thanks to any homies reading till the end. </3

Word count:1395

#sweet home #sweet cafe #nova hyun #x reader #fluff

[sugurugetofavoritemonkey]

Training (Armin Arlert x Reader).

✵ Pairing : Armin Arlert x Female Reader (use of she/her pronouns and female genitals)

✵ Summary : You need help in hand to hand combat and Armin is more than happy to help.

✵ Word count : + 2,3k. 

✵ Warnings : There’s like one spoiler maybe for season 1, fluff I think?, smut, fingering, dirty talk (idk if I missed something oops), armin could be a warning on his own tho.

✵ Note : I wrote this with an Armin after the time skip in my head (even though before could totally work) so I see Armin in this like someone who gained confidence and uses it at his advantage, cuz he’s a smartass and a cocky one.

@alert-arlert​ (don’t be too mean to me if it’s bad but don’t tell me it’s good if it isn’t lmao mwah <3)

ENJOYY!! <3333

It was time to train. 

You were all outside, waiting in the field, pairing by two. Jean, Sasha, Connie, Mikasa, Armin and you. 

And to your dismay you were paired with Mikasa. You didn’t hate her, not even a bit, she even was one of your closest friends. She just happened to be much stronger than you.

Being given that today was the hand to hand combat training, you weren’t the most at ease. You already trained with Mikasa before, she was sweet to you, trying not to hurt you too much, escaping the attentive gaze of Levi, who was watching you train to make it look like you could give a few punches to her. But to no use, you weren’t weak but everyone knew that you needed to learn some skills and confidence to be able to surpass yourself. 

You were brought out of your thoughts when Mikasa gave you a light punch to your shoulder, almost making you fall. 

“Come on, wake up and try to give back the blow I gave you”. 

And you tried, taking a few steps forward, launching your right fist to her jaw, too slow. She had already dodged your move even before you could get close to her. She gave a kick to the back of your left knee, this time, efficiently making you fall forward, face first in the dirt. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to kick you that hard, let me help you” 

As Mikasa helps you get up, you can’t help but let out with a light laugh, “Yeah, you really aren’t aware of your strength Mikasa, a few more punches and it was the end for me”. 

She smiles at you while you rub your nose, checking if you didn’t bleed, again, but hopefully she “tried” to be gentle with you. Gentle really wasn’t in Mikasa’s vocabulary, you thought.

“You know what? I’m sure with a few lessons you could get better with some time.”

Your face lightens with curiosity, “You think you could help me with that?”

“I’m afraid I can’t, Hansi wants to see me to test the new thunder spears with them, but I know someone who could help, Armin. Maybe he isn’t as strong as I am but I guarantee you that he knows how to fight, and much more than you think, and I know that you are pretty close...”. 

Your cheeks start to heaten up at the last few words she lets out. It was true. Armin and yourself were getting closer each time the two of you could see each other, starting to know the other one like the back of the hand.

You seems to consider her offer when you voices to her, “That would be great but I don’t want to disturb him..Maybe he has other stuffs to do...”

When Mikasa sees your hesitance, she immediately says, “Listen, he’s over there, why won’t you ask him right now? You have nothing to lose.”

She was right. You had to get better at melee combat, there will be soon enough another very important mission for Paradis, you couldn’t lose the chance to gain necessary skills, and, maybe...Maybe you wanted to get even closer to the blond boy.

He was always nice to you, patient and attentive. These past few years, you have learned about all the countless things he knows. And you had done the same with him. Armin and you were known to be inseparable. 

At lunch time, the first one between the two of you to get a spot at a table would wait for the other, keeping a reserved spot close to them. 

You've even already slept in the same bed. 

When your nightmares would get too real, you did get out of your room to enter the male’s dorm and sneak in Armin’s bed. Waiting for his arms to envelop you, whispering words of reassurance in your ear. 

You almost were like a couple, except the fact that any of you didn’t really made THE move. More time passed and more the both of you could feel the tension building between each other. So maybe a little lesson with him couldn’t hurt. 

As you approached the blonde boy, you could feel your palms starting to get sweaty, your pulse quickening. And what if he says no? What if it’s just in my head, you thought. 

Finally in front of him, you gathered as much courage as you could and hoped that your voice would be as steady as possible. 

“Hmm, Armin, can I ask you a question please?”

“Yeah sure darling” 

Your body immediately stiffens, Armin loved to call you by little nicknames. The first time he did was out of the blue, you were talking about some book you two loved and he didn’t think much about it, just wanted to call you that. 

But when he remarked -and this smartass did notice it far too quickly- that everytime he calls you by one, you become flustered and more shy than usual, he couldn’t get enough of it, getting drunk on the fact that HE was able to earn this cute reaction out of you. 

“Can you help me train at hand to hand combat please? I need skills and apparently you could help me with that”, but when his big ocean blue eyes start to look at you, you lose all confidence, “ But if you can’t, I mean it’s okay, I will just, you know-”

He cuts off your incoherent babbling, answering “Of course I can, what kind of friend would I be if I’m not helping you with that? We can start tonight if you want, just after dinner. We will have the field just for us”, he finished, giving you a big innocent smile but the last words he gives you resonate differently in your head. You brush this out of your mind and thank him, agreeing on the time and giving him a short hug.

“Come on hit me, love”

He was teasing you, and he knows it oh too well, the little smile on his face is a proof of it. 

You two were at it for almost one hour of pure exhaustion, well, especially for you. Armin, on the other hand, wasn’t even out of breath.  

You were currently letting out heavy breaths, your hands on your knees, trying to gain some more force deep down from your body. You were even beginning to think of a strategy, to at least give it one hit. Armin didn’t let you the chance to think about it, launching forward with his fist to your face, luckily, he was way more easier to dodge than Mikasa, or so you thought. 

When you thought that he was aiming for a punch at your pretty face, he was in fact aiming to entwine his arms around you, Annie’s style. He was proud that the strong woman had taught him a trick or two before getting into her ice cocoon. One arm above your left shoulder and the other below your right armpit, he then locked both of his arms behind your head to finally put you on the floor, all the weight of his body on yours. His legs on each side of yours, caging you in. 

“I won”, and you swear as this sentence pours out of Armin’s mouth, his pretty blue gaze transforms into a darker one with a raise of a corner of his pinkish lips. 

And it is only now that you state the fact that Armin isn’t all innocent, that he totally knows what he’s doing. Everything was meant to prove it to you. 

The teasing, the pet names, the proximity, the smile and… his bulge that is starting to grow on top of your thigh. 

While you were lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice the way his hand had moved on top of your throat, not choking you but putting just a light pressure on it, letting you know the presence of his hand. 

After a few seconds of the both of you looking at each other as if whole galaxies were in your eyes, Armin broke the heavy silence that had settled in. While his face just gets incredibly closer to yours, to the point where you can share Armin’s heavy breath with yours, you hear the distinct but small words. 

“Please, kiss me”, and it’s the first time, since the beginning of the training that you can hear him beg. And of course you oblige, you just can’t refuse the invitation of his soft-looking lips, that begins to part just a little, like if he was still begging. 

You just have to raise your head a little to press your lips against his, kissing him with so much force you think you could break a muscle, and Armin gives it right back at you, stronger, needier. And you swear that the vulnerable side that you saw from him just mere seconds before has already disappeared, giving life to a confident Armin, one that you can’t seem to have enough.  

Pressing his tongue to your lower lips, Armin forces it between your teeth when you take too much time, to his liking, to open your mouth for him. As he begins to explore your wet cavern with his tongue, you can’t help but to let out a small whimper of pleasure, not wanting to hide anything from him. 

After putting some distance between your mouths to let you gain some air, he whispers to your ear with a voice that you don’t recognize, a voice that isn't owned by the silent and shy little Armin that you know. A voice darker but still laced with usual calmness and patience that only Armin owns here. 

“Do I already have you wrap around my finger, like an obedient little thing?” 

And there was again the sweet little smile he wore oh too well, laced with mischief. 

You don’t have the time to answer anything, as the hand on your throat starts to trail down on your breasts, tummy and then stop between your thighs, fiddling with the waistband of your pants.  

“Can I, pretty girl?”, and you quickly nod at his question, without even thinking twice at the demand, both of you wanted this moment to happen for so long, too long to even remember when was the first time that your feelings started to grow for the blonde boy in front of you. 

His cold hands reach directly into your panties, not losing any time by removing your pants, just wanting to feel you around his fingers as soon as possible. 

Armin couldn’t wait any longer, how long has he been waiting to do that? How many times did he touch himself to the thought of you? How many times did he look at you like there was not tomorrow? He wanted to give you as much pleasure as he could ever give to you. 

His fingers started to dive into your folds, feeling your wetness slide between his fingers with ease, letting out a little laugh, Armin voices out to you, “I had no idea I could make you that wet like this”, he closes the gap between you to whisper against your trembling lips, “And without even touching you”. 

Whines of desperation start to pour out from your lips, making Armin kiss you as hard as he could to silence you, plunging two of his fingers at the same time. 

The sudden intrusion makes you arch your back in pleasure, and it’s the only encouragement Armin needs at the moment to thrust his fingers deeper and faster, wanting to see you come undone under him. 

As your pleasure starts to build up in a record time, you reach out to grab Armin’s shirt, too lost in pleasure to even speak up, rather letting out some incoherent babbling that seems to be pretty amusing to Armin. 

As he adds a third finger to stretch you even more, he states while biting your lips playfully, “Are you gonna cum for me Angel? All over my fingers? I know you can do it, you’re such a good girl. Go on”, as he whispers the last part into your ear, trailing love bites along your neck, it’s the last encouragement that you need to get to your climax. 

Letting out a few cry and whines of pleasure, Armin speeds his fingers to help you ride out your orgasm. As he senses your inner walls starting to relax, he withdraws his hand from your pussy and inspect the substance on his fingers to the dim light of the moon. He seems in an inner debate with himself as to decide if he should let you taste yourself on his fingers or do it himself. The debate seems to short out rather quickly as he put his three fingers in his mouth, looking at you with his dark gaze. 

He decides not to be too selfish and lower his head to give you one long, messy kiss. And hearing your little moans when you taste yourself on his tongue is the best reward he could ever get. 

While he helps you to fasten your pants back in place and put both of you on your feet, you can’t help but notice the bulge he has between his thighs. And you start to feel bad with the fact that you were the only one to get to cum tonight. 

When you put your hand on his boner, he put his hand on yours gently, telling you, “What do you think of carrying on this little training session in one of our rooms? Maybe I could help you learn one or two things? Love”, he smiles, a little blush creeping up on his soft cheeks. 

Maybe it’s never too late for you to gain the upper hand on Armin. 

Maybe.

#armin arlert x reader #armin arlert x reader smut #armin smut #armin x reader smut #armin x reader #aot x reader #aot x reader smut #aot smut #snk fluff #snk smut #snk x reader #armin arlert x you #armin x you #fluff #armin x reader fluff #armin fluff #smut #snk #aot #armin imagines #armin arlert smut