#but who cares I'm MISERABLE

[chronurgy]

In my feels about how Gortash abso-fucking-lutely ruined Durge's life. Just fucking destroyed it. But that's also the only reason they have any sort of chance to make something different for themself. He's the only reason they even have a chance at a happy ending (even though it's a happy ending that he can't be in)

#enver gortash #dark urge #dark urge x gortash #durgetash #bg3 #Thinking about how my durge had just resigned themself to being miserable and alone and hating the world for everything it #Couldn't or wouldn't give them. For being so fucking boring. They had their magic and that was everything they needed. But then #In sweeps this motherfucker who talks to them and understands them and is just as smart as they are and then suddenly #They have dreams again. All the wants they thought they'd ground into dust years ago come back with a vengeance #It ruined them! If they'd just been able to live in the same furious and miserable detachment as before Orin never would've gotten to them #If they had never started feeling alive again then they never would have begun to balk at the idea of dying on their father's altar #Because who cares about dying when you're already buried six feet under? But when you're alive? Maybe you don't want to die #Maybe you want to live. Maybe you have other things to think about besides Bhaal's bloody love and your siblings' resentments #And that's when they get you #Ughhhh I'm going to be fucking sick #Vesper

[moonyjulian]

#les mis #fantine #jean valjean #javert #les mis 1998 #guess who finally watched this movie #thanks i hated it <3 #also i don't care if it doesn't count i'm still gonna tag this as #valvert #les miserables 1998 #les miserables

[punkeropercyjackson]

Every chronically online cisgirl talks about how much they'd love a punk bf until we start talking about wanting to kill cops and not being cis or genderconforming😔

#like it is EMBARRASINGLY obvious they don't actually know any irl punk guys😭the whole 'freak in the sheets good girl corrupter' thing????? #we don't do thattttt we're too busy breaking outside of society's norms and making bigots lives miserable and helping minorities #you're inherently disqualified from being a punk if you date bootlicker no matter how 'good and pure' she brags about being.fem///cel asses #who tf cares about purity i want weirdgirls i can radicalize and go on punk dates with or who're already punk.birds of a feather babey!!!!! #end of the story is that if you don't actually agree with the punk movement or enjoy the subculture you're not actually attracted to punks #*mocking hand gestures*posers!!!!! #punk #pastel punk tag #afropunk #solarpunk #hopepunk #genderpunk #autipunk #crustpunk #goth punk #riot grrrl #< since i'm bigender + genderfluid + super femme #also gonna tag characters since is mainly about canon punk male characters getting depunkified(should trademark that) #hobie brown #dabi #ichigo kurosaki #percy jackson #spiderman #bnha geekery #ichihime #pjo #perlex #summerposting #x reader

[dreamlogic]

2024 year of charlie gets a fucking break (hopefully. maybe. tbd.)

#ctxt #i'm on medication that's reduced my post-hysterectomy pain by about 70% #i have an intake appointment with a physical therapist in march & a referral to start trigger point injections #to hopefully finally recover as completely as possible from the nightmarish neuropathy that's plagued me since uuuhhhh #going on 2 years ago. holy shit. genuinely can't believe i've been surviving & functioning as well as i have for this long #while suffering a disabling & extremely painful surgical complication. fuck my original surgeon for brushing me off during that time #but the new provider i'm working with is so responsive & thorough in her approach & seems genuinely committed #to helping me finally get relief after all this time. she listens to my feedback & is flexible in her approach #and her assistant is a great communicator who's been handling most of the logistics of care coordination for me #and what a huge fucking relief that is. to not have to drag my doctors kicking & screaming towards maybe treating me eventually #i wanna cry. i finally feel like i'm being taken seriously and cared for. and i'm not BETTER yet (might never be the same as i was pre-op) #but i actually feel optimistic for the first time in over a year that i won't just have to deal with this agonizing pain on my own forever #i might actually see enough improvement that i can start to get back to living my life instead of just surviving it #money is tighter than it's been since i got laid off during early pandemic and that's stressing me out #but i promised myself that i would put my health first in 2024 and that means only working the bare minimum needed to pay my bills for now #genuinely i so fucking needed a break. i felt like i was trying to swim through a meat grinder last year #and it wasn't until i ended up in the ER about it that i finally was able to take my own pain seriously enough #to put my foot down & make some necessary changes that are now letting me focus on Getting Well With Myself at last #in hindsight it's like. really freaking me out how thoroughly i was able to compartmentalize & dissociate from how miserable i was #bc nobody who had the ability to help me would take me seriously & my shitty boss was like. extremely textbook emotionally abusive #and on one hand that was a survival mechanism that kept me on my feet during one of the worst times of my life. so props to myself there #but it was also very maladaptive how long & unnecessarily it went on before i snapped out of it & escalated things for my own safety #it was the same helpless frustration i often felt as a kid of like 'well nobody is on my side but me so i gotta suck it up & help myself' #and i think the family trauma shit that was going on last year definitely contributed to that. idk sense of doubling across time? #and things had to get Extremely Bad before they were bad enough for me to realize that although i felt like it #i am no longer an isolated & parentified island of a child who is beholden to the whims of ignorant & indifferent adults #i actually can and should take action to advocate for myself bc i am an adult and i CAN now change my circumstances as needed #instead of just enduring them as if i'm stuck there with no agency or chance to change things #and i have a really solid support system who helped me feel like it was possible to stand up for myself to get the help i desperately need #chronic blogging

[tasmanianstripes]

Sad to see how fast people turned away from "cringe culture is dead" and turned to "anything not canon compliant is bad and annoying"

Character regression

#thylacines can talk #'Oh I hope I'm not like these other annoying people in the fandom' do you not hear yourself? do you not realise how miserable you sound? #it's genuienly sad to see people being afraid of being seen as annoying when they're having fun #fandom clitches exist because people enjoy them. why would you avoid them if you find them fun? just to appease strangers in the internet? #why deny yourself simple joys in life? we only have one after all #i participate in fandoms and media because its a fun hobby for me. not to get a fucking english class #do you enjoy it? does it harm anyone? if the answer is yes and no in that order THEN GO FUCKING HOGWILD #Who cares about what strangers on the internet think?! have fun!!! #who cares if it's cliche or ooc or bad writing?! #and by all means be a little hater about fanon and things that annoy you. rant to your friends. its good for your soul. i do it too #just dont be pretentious and mean about it. your way of enjoying content is not any more 'right' than anybody else's

[buppypuppy]

.

#vent post essay ahead lol #having complexes about talking about your emotions is literally the fucking devil . its miserable. it sucks so bad. #the aamount of damage that is caused to someone by like #i mean im talking abou t me here obviously. #being the person whose like. overall ultimately tends not to feel horrible as often is like. #it's nice not feeling bad emotionally all the time but also it's like. i develop this complex about being like able to help. #i don't feel bad anywhere near as often as my friends so i can help them out and listen to them vent i can have the mental room to #like listen to them talk about their problems. yeah. but it makes me feel like. well this is my job now so i shouldn't fucking talk about m #i shouldnt vent when i feel bad because that's not what i'm known for. plus my friends already all feel worse than me more often than me. s #i don't want to dump any more on their plate than they have to deal with. i don't want to burden them anymore than i have to. and like it's #it's hard. i hate fucking talking about it and it's made so much worse when its like people i love . always been a fucking problem becaus #i just feel fucking horrible admitting that i feel bad i hate that so much. i don't want to like turn away people who care about me but li #i feel like if i tell them what's wrong with me i'll like do it anyways. i feel like i come off as super normal and happy go lucky and like #ostensibly fine. so when i admit this shit its like. oops the facade is cracking!!!!!! uh oh uh oh you can't help people so you feel bad!!! #because your fucking npd has made you feel self centered in a way that means you want to help people or some shit i dont fucking know #and so when i feel bad or get mad over something unreasonable it's like. well i hope i fucking keel over and die or something i dont like . #i don't want people seeing me like this or whatever. and my stupid fucking personality disorder just ruins every god damn thing its so bad. #my past experiences giving me complexes that lead to me feeling fucking left out over like small stupid stuff but god the worst part is lik #my brain categorizing something as being ''My Thing'' so somebody else talks about liking my thing AFTER my brain has designated it mine #makes alarm bells go off and feel like theyre fucking. i don't know encroaaching on my turf or what the fuck ever? it SUCKS ASS #it makes me feel HORRIBLE . and it's like i'm not gonna fucking bring it up because i don't wnt to be like a dick but also it's like well. #i feel fucking miserable about this but it's just like mean and unnecessary and cruel to like stifle people's fucking fun because of my dum #fuckin complexes. it's fucking constant. like oh look at you girl you feel fucking left out because you never get characters who really gri #you mentally and so now you have one but oops! someone else talked about them and now you're seeing red! you like this person though #so you're gonna feel fucking MISERABLE about this . you're gonna feel HORRIBLE because of this. and there's nothing you can fucking do #and it controls my goddamn life and i HATE IT i fucking HATE IT i wish i knew how to fix it. ghghrgurghrughruhg i want to fucking explode #and then you feel bad about feeling bad because you are fucking sisyphus. you're sisyphus. and your own anger is your boulder. you ingrate. #i hate this. i just wanted to have a good day. #jane mary cry one tear

[doux-amer]

Revenant is soooo mid which is disappointing because I was looking forward to it due to the actors and writer (this isn’t a flop like Jirisan, which I gave up on after 2–3 episodes, but it’s not really good). BUT. BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m suffering from “poor little meow meow middle-aged man” deficiency and Professor Yeom Haesang suffers so much. I can’t believe I was like “Oh...okay” about his casting because I’m planting my palms against his windows, peering at him in his little cage and being fed because he’s had the worst life ever and it keeps getting worse. HAESANG *____*<3

#why are we not talking about him more on reddit/twitter/tumblr and why are there not enough gifs and pics of him breaking down #or looking slutty in his all black ensembles complete with a turtleneck #watch as this man's life continues to deteriorate! ep. 7 and 8 provided such rich sustenance for me #a simp for ajusshideul who are miserable #he's so small and sad and he can't catch a break #yeah okay hongsae is great too and he's a cutie but LOOK AT THIS 40-YEAR-OLD MAN! #technically i wouldn't even count that as MIDDLE age middle-aged but his actor is 46 so whatever #in all seriousness revenant exasperates me a little because you can see how it can be good #especially because there's a frame of reference to base that hypothesis on: signal. lol. #signal wasn't without its flaws but the characters and relationships actually had development and the main partnerships were intense #and the tension was high throughout #revenant is the same thing every episode pretty much #the first three episodes were pretty to really good and i loved the setup #and you have kim taeri hong kyung and oh jungsae and they're great actors #but the directing and writing aren't serving them well and you can see the drop in quality from the beginning to now tbh #there's only so much they can do if they're not being given enough from both #though the little bits that are good are the reason i'm sticking around to the end lol. that and haesang i'm going to be real #like haesang and sanyoung's relationship needed to be parallel soohyun and haeyoung's in a way in terms of how much #they grow to rely on each other and care for each other but we don't really get that

[layzeal]

See thats the thing. Yes it will make him absolutely miserable to end the bloodline. But thats the thing. He can't do otherwise. The more he fails to get a wife (and to examine why), the more he interiorizes that it must come from an inherent fault of his and the worse his attempts get. Thats also why I dont think he would "adopt" either, his problem is that he can't really move on. Jin ling is different, because he's his sisters son, not his. And hes channeled all his energy into him, which is crazy politically speaking since jin ling can never be a jiang heir. I think part of him is terrified that he would do to his actual son what his father did to him (bc he will always love jin ling more on the basis of him being jiang yanlis son, the same way jiang fengmians affection for wei wuxian was a continuation of his love for cangse sanren). I think its really complex but honestly I'm compelled by the increased misery as stated above :)

i get you friend, but i really think you're giving him more credit than it's due 😭 my man has never done a bit of self-analysis in his life and i don't think failing to get a wife will get him to start

#like. he's waaaay too terrified of failing his dad's legacy to let his bloodline die #and the whole thing abt jc is how he ends up falling back into the toxic cycle :( the tragedy of his arc to me #is exactly watching how he turns into his mother despite how much he didnt want to! #he's that guy we all know irl who refuses to analyze himself and will get married and have kids and likely make all the same mistakes #because that's the cycle of generation trauma... and jc is one of the characters in which that is the most clear #but again! i dont think he'd be unhappy with that ending #he doesnt even WANT a wife. a political unpassionate marriage works perfectly well #and if the wife plays her cards right and doesnt rly care for his affection either theyre golden #and his children dont have to be miserable either. yes he fell back into the cycle and we see how much he pushed JL #but he's def not AS bad as his mom. and after the canon events he's likely to chill out #but any jc ending that relies on him doing any sort of self-analysis of his own flaws and mistakes isn't gonna happen i'm sorry dkjvhdh #modao #lace speaks

[h3artbrok3nn]

VENTING IN TAGZ

#I made a new friend guys #she follows this acc actually #so hi #yk who u r #but anyway #I hope to be best friends with this person #and I want to be able #to be myself and say the things on my mind #without the fear of losing her like #Ive done many times before #because I always mess up #but I lost a friend of 4 years because I had apparently made them miserable #with all my stupid problems and #ig I just made bad choices #and now I realize I'm a danger to myself and others #when I'm very mentally unstable #and I'm not sure what to do anymore #guys #me #nobody will read this but #if u see this #new friend #to the question you asked me last night #that you told me to be honest about #the answer is no #And I'm very far from it #but I just cant admit that to you because im so scared to lose u #even tho we just now started talking #I care about you deeply #and I love u a lot

[bonesrbleaching]

had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what

#lolaa.txt #what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!' #'i wouldnt lie to you!' #okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time. #its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa #also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!' #yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up. #i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men #and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man #so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up. #and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face #that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense. #shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin #you dont have to worry about anyone else. #im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to #never really have #im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are #if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box #then when would you have any space for self discovery #youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats #and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that. #and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names #and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy #and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares. #and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look? #then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness. #SORRY RANT OVER. #im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric. #tw homophobia #tw transphobes

[fadeintoyou1993]

shit like this is genuinely so fucking annoying because 1) riverdale does make sense it's genuinely the most straightforward show out there you just need to have any kind of interest in genuine media analysis which clearly most of you don't 2) I didn't ask you anything no one cares that y'all don't like / understand / could even IMAGINE people genuinely enjoying this show for what it is. you are genuinely all very annoying

#txt #like literally average riverdale blogger has not once cared or asked you guys anything #I don't go out of my way to reblog sets of shows I don't watch and make snarky Trying to be clever comments in the tags to like. 3 people #who frankly are as miserable as yourself. #Anyways yeah I'm pissed off most of the tags on that alice set are so annoying I've been blocking sm people

[bobzora]

acheron so good she makes me want to complete gold and gears to unlock erudition blessings

#bobtalk #she fucks shit up SO hard with them it's crazy shit. she's actually crazy in SU. her ultimate is crazy #my world level (forget what they call it in hsr sorry) isn't maxed because i had a Massive hiatus after 1.0 LOL #so between that and well. my relics aren't great. i don't have any 5* sustains. i missed a lot of banners like in general. #my ability to clear higher content is kind of nottttt great <-couldn't pass stage 2 of pure fiction for the free lynx lmao #but at least in SU i can just get bonkers ass buffs #shoutout to the person on my friends list with the well built level 80 e2s1 acheron that i'm leaching off of for farming o7 #relics are so miserable for real. well what can you do #<-guy who used self modelling resin for a crit rate body for her acheron and it rolled all worthless substats lmao #btw i did start a hsr doodle dump u_u thank you for your support in this endeavor. will post it after accumulating more doodles. #rolling for e2 btw we'll see how that goes. won't be mad if i don't get her as long as i don't lose the 50/50 to someone ugly #future banner wishlist is fu xuan and silver wolf (missed her first rerun so. you know. lmfao.) (also missed tutorial lightcone we suffer) #don't know how committed i am to that though because i am kind of. not. a seele main. anymore. lol. for 2 team content maybe #i do really need better sustains. i am very squishy indeed. if i was playing smart i'd take advantage of luocha/aventurine. but uhhhh. lol #i don't pull for men <-hubris but its funny to commit. leaks forecast robin OP but also i already have both e1 bronya and sparkle. #unless the story goes crazy with her which at this point maybe it will who fuckin knows. i don't particularly care for firefly #well. we will see. for now. acheron OPification lol

[sol1loqu1st]

:/

#like if it is ptsd that means basically it's untreatable right? like the only way to really deal with it is i have to just accept that i'm #going to be miserable and awful to be around forever? #idk like thats why i was kind of hoping it /was/ something more uncommon like osdd because like. i know that can be hard to treat but i've #seen people make it work for them and make it a good thing even if it's hard. there are no upsides or benefits to having Just Fucking Ptsd #there's no sympathy for it if you didnt get it from combat (and even then lol) #and there's no real way to treat it except just learn to fucking avoid triggers and my triggers are FUCKING EVERYTHING #idk i just want a FUCKING SOLUTION and there is none #it's not fucking fair. it's not fucking fair #that my life is permanently ruined and horrible because my fucking mom decided that she needed to have a little mini-me #to project her fucking insecurities on instead of getting therapy #and now i'm never going to be happy! i don't get to have a good fucking life! i h #i have to spend the rest of my life fucking /coping/ with my own existence and having everyone fucking moralize me not wanting to do that #i'm a horrible person for even thinking about this stuff because me saying i cant recover probably makes other people in similar situations #think they also can't recover and i know that makes me bad and awful but like. it's different. #other people have friends who love them and care about them. i will never have that because i'm awful and everyone who gets close to me #realizes how awful i am and runs #other people have a chance at happiness even if it's hard. i don't. i'm never going to have people who love me and care about me. i'm never #going to be anyone's family and i can't fucking stand that

[bravevolunteer]

one thing about me is i WILL yap in replies. and that is a promise

#i would love to be the guy who does quick back and forth short threads but i am a grade A yapper to my core #sometimes i'm contained. but usually 😶 #why exhibit restraint when there are so many little things to point out either for contextualization that only i care about or WILL make me #violently ill huh! it's fun! #anyway it is. 1am. wind down time #will probably finish the movie novel tomorrow at least lmao #⁂ ･ﾟ: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc #im yet to figure out what my weekend plans are. i've been TRYING to make gift exchange/new years plans but awaiting a response from #one person is keeping the whole thing in the balance lmao #haven't seen friends literally all break and as much of a sit in my room person as i am i think it's giving me brain damage

[bonefall]

Aight I have to know bc I hate him so much:

Does Brambleshit ever get what he deserves for being such a piece of garbage? Since he's genuinely written as a huge dick?

Depends on your idea of comeuppance. He does have a LOT more consequences for his actions; but still is in a position of power that he really shouldn't have.

One of the things I grappled with in the earlier parts of my rewrite was if I wanted to spend a lot of time fixing Bramble himself and make him the character the Erins see, or if I wanted to keep the narrative intact.

I decided to preserve the narrative. Bramblestar is an antagonist in too many things to ever 'fix' and one of the most consistent characters in Warriors.

I decided to lean into that usefulness as an antagonist to flesh out the struggles of other characters. The Three's feelings about him, Squirrelflight leaving him and finding support in her career and clanmates, Jesse and her kits Alder and Spark have enough issues to fill an SE... Bramblestar is extremely interesting and helpful as an emotionally abusive character.

Though, in doing a lot of rewriting, there are a lot of changes that DO actually make him less bad-- or at least reduce the harm he can do!

For example, he actually steps down as deputy after the fox trap situation, and genuinely regretted everything he did (though he was probably prone to blaming Hawkfrost for his actions eventually). He can't completely grind Squilf to a submissive pulp in OotS because she has a ton of clanmates that support her. He tries to be better for Spark and Alder but sadly, ultimately lapses.

And... well, after the Reveal fiasco where he demoted Squilf, the fantastic deputy, his leadership is always... rocky. This comes to a head in The Broken Code where the clan couldn't tell that Bramble was possessed for several months.

Sooo basically, don't expect Bonefall Bramblestar to get beaten with the Bad Boy Stick of Catharsis like I did with Oakstar. But I do approach Bramblestar like the antagonist he deserves to be, with the idea that he's a very human, mundane flavor of bad.

#It matters a lot to me that Bramblestar stays human #It wasn't helpful for me when I was leaving my own abusive relationship to think of my ex-lover as a monster #Because it was like... ''well theyre no monster they love me. So im not being abused.'' #Once I met someone who taught me to seperate Mistreatment from the idea of my ex being A Bad Person THAT was when I was able to leave #Because it started as ''my lover is not a monster but they are mistreating me in this specific circumstance. No matter their explanation.'' #And then that became a realization that they never worked out our differences while I worked extra hard to bridge the gap #Which became a hard moment of cataloguing my feelings every day for a few weeks and realizing I was miserable #Which became a realization that it was over 5 years and not getting better #And then one week I finally realized I had to cut and run after helping someone else through something similar #But the thing I'm getting at is-- I care immensely writing this in a way that would have helped Younger Bones #Bramblestar #Bonefall Rewrite #I project a lot of things onto Bramble tbh. I think about him a lot #He was my favorite when I was a kid and now he's more of a... anti-blorbo I guess #Scrinkly? #He's sharp and makes unpleasant noise in my hands but I can't stop touching him

[arabian-batboy]

You guys I think it’s finally happening, I think I finally lost all interests in DC/Damian lol

#it been 7 long years but I finally did it #I don't know why it happened today #new things dropped and as usual I had my issues with them #but then I realized that nothing will change no matter how much I complain #everything I like about Talia and Damian have been stripped away and replaced with wore version #worse version** #but it's me and 4 other people who think like that because everyone else either don't care anymore or are new fans who don't know better #so......why bother anymore lol? #I'm just making myself miserable staying here and going (THE NEXT WRITER WILL FIX THINGS!!!) #and only for the next writer to in fact NOT fix this #basically I'm tired of gas-lighting myself into believing my ideal version of the characters will appear one day #and it's not like the things I'm asking for are crazy weird concept or anything #I'm literally just asking for previous fan-favorite concept to return #so now I need to accept that the real Talia and the real Damian are dead forever and we only see glimpses of them here and there #gonna still pirate their comics and like/reblog pretty fanart but that's about it #everyone else enjoy the racist-incarnation of the most evil/untrustworthy brown woman in the world and her ugly weak dumb whitey-white son #I'm done