#but with josie it’s ‘well she’s insecure’ ‘well she doesn’t know how to speak up’ ‘well alaric’ like... ok.

[astroph1les]

falling behind [h.c]

summary: feeling like you’re never going to experience the normal dating experience, you turn to your friend, hazel, to teach you how to kiss. friends help each other out like that, right?

pairing: hazel callahan x fem!reader

contains: mature language and content, hickies (r!recieving), heavy making out, causal dominance from hazel, sort of player!hazel, cocky!hazel, josie & isabel being all over each other, hinting that hazel and birttany are bffs, inexperienced! reader, slight insecure! reader, reader is mentioned to have multiple sisters, hazel being so sweet and reassuring to reader.

word count: 2.6K

a/n: based on this request, by @toritea (i hope you enjoy it! xx) i actually had too much fun writing this. need me a hazel :/ also how am i at over 200 followers already?? you guys are insane. but i love you all for it. enjoy! <3

You were really happy for Josie and Isabel. You really were. You knew Josie had had a massive crush on Isabel for years now and they finally got together. But, it was moments like this where they were making out, borderline about to fuck against your and Josie’s shared dorm room door, that made you want to rip your head right out of your head.

“Okay, guys,” you speak up, trying to reach for the handle that was underneath their hips.

There was a moan at some point and you decided that you were going to Brittany and Hazel’s dorm room since clearly yours and Josie’s was going to be occupied. You backed away and marched down to the almost identical door except Hazel and Brittany’s names were scribbled on the dry-erase board.

You knocked on the door with a sigh, the image of Josie and Isabel still fresh in your mind. The door opened to reveal Hazel with squinted eyes. She had on a gray hoodie with a pair of what you think of boxers or shorts that look similarly to boxers.

“Hey, did I wake you?” You glance at her attire.

“Uh, no, I just woke up from a nap,” Hazel furrowed her brows, “is everything okay?”

You sigh, shaking your head. “Josie and Isabel—“

“Oh, okay, yeah. Come in,” Hazel moved out of the way to let you into the dorm room.

You glanced around the room, smiling at the obvious difference between Brittany and Hazel’s beds. Brittany had one of those neon wall lights of a sun with baby pink and white sheets. Hazel had basic different shades of gray comforters and sheets along with a few throw pillows.

“I love them but my god, they never stop. I was just trying to stop by to change,” you sigh as you walk over to sit on Hazel’s bed.

Hazel smacked her lips together with a shrug, adjusting her hoodie on her head.

“Well, I mean, that’s what it's like to have a girlfriend. It’s the ‘honeymoon’ phase.” Hazel explained before adding, “kissing and fucking is fun, though.”

Your cheeks burn at her words. Being the only person you know to not have any sexual experience—let alone kiss—made you feel like you were falling behind. Sure, it was only freshman year of college, but it didn’t help the longing of wanting to get this sort of shit over with.

Hazel was the one that you envied the most. Or at least, the girls she was hooking up with. After high school, Hazel became a bit of a heartthrob. Brittany had told you about how she had passed by their room sometimes and would hear almost-porn-like moaning and panting. You would be lying too if you said that you’ve never heard these noises too come from their room.

In simple words, Hazel fucks and fucks good.

“Still, I don’t need to see it happen, Haze,” you emphasized.

“Maybe you need to go and get some then,” Hazel remarks with a cheeky grin, walking over to sit across from you on Brittanys bed.

“Um, no. I can’t do that,” you shake your head and hope that she doesn’t press or ask more questions.

Hazel furrows her brows as she watches the way your body language shifts as soon as the subject of sex comes up.

“Why not? You’re gorgeous. I’m sure someone wants to fuck you.” Hazel states as if you should’ve been aware of this.

It was definitely a bit of a confidence booster that Hazel found you attractive.

“Thanks, Haze but it’s not like people are lining up to be with me unlike some people,” your eyes stare into hers, raising your brows. “I wouldn’t even know what to do anyways.”

Hazel tilts her head and purses her lips together, unclear to what you meant. She meant it when she said you were gorgeous. Even now in your day to day outfits of tees and baby tanks with jean shorts. She’s always thought this way about you but had to push it deep down to keep your friendship intact.

“Wait, have you not…?” Hazel trailed off to see what the limit was of experience that you may or may not have had.

“I’m a virgin and have never even kissed anyone before except for, like, once in 4th grade over a dare,” you spat out, feeling the ever most embarrassed.

The question made you irritated. Why? You couldn’t tell the exact reason but it was definitely a combination of stress and lack of sexual activity.

“Hey, hey,” Hazel stood up and off Brittany's bed to sit next to you on her bed. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, you know?”

“No, I know that. It’s just annoying sometimes to not have someone in that romantic way.” You tell her with a forced grin.

Hazel nods in agreement. Silence takes over you two until you get an idea. It was risky and could possibly change everything about your relationship with Hazel if she says yes.

“Haze? Can you,” you sigh and look at her slowly, “can you teach me how to kiss?”

You wince as you prepare for the immediate rejection from Hazel.

“You want me to teach you?” Hazel adjusts her position on her bed so that she has one leg curled on the mattress and the other hanging off.

“Well, yeah, if that’s okay. I know you’ve been with a lot more girls than I have so I assume you know what you’re doing,” you state simply, blushing at the memories of the muffled moaning you’ve heard through the door.

Hazel chuckled at your words, removing her hood from her bed head. You watch her carefully, all of a sudden aware of every move you both made. You took notice of her chains that rested at the bottom of her throat probably from being tossed in her sleep.

“Are you sure? Like, 100%?”

You nod, eyes flickering to her lips. Hazel had done the same and scooted back from you as she was 10 seconds away from kissing you feverishly, but she had to hold back. You had never kissed before, she reminded herself.

“Okay, well, the first thing is comfortability. Are you comfortable sitting like this?” Hazel motioned around you two.

You think about it for a moment before questioning: “Is there a better way to sit when kissing?”

“Some girls like to sit on my lap, some like me to be sort of hovering over them. Even like, laying down and we’re making out is always comfortable too,” Hazel explains, all of a sudden feeling very nervous talking about all of the things she’s done with these girls that weren’t you.

You contemplate for a moment, mentally trying to ignore how Hazel had said ‘some girls.’ It just reminded you that this can only be a ‘friends helping friends’ situation. Laying down might be comfortable but to you, that sounded like a more experienced position. The idea of Hazel hovering over you would cause you to go actually insane.

“Can I be on your lap? I-If that’s okay?” You ask, glancing down to look at Hazel’s lap.

“Yeah, yeah, just— yeah,” she began to adjust herself so that her upper back was up against the headboard with her legs spread out. “C’mere, honey.”

You’re a horny idiot, you scold yourself internally as you inch over to Hazel, your thighs straddling her upper thighs. Her hands rest respectfully on your lower thighs, just above your knees.

This position felt so intimate now that you were here. You could see every speck of blue in her eyes and the slight bags from lack of sleep. You could just stare at Hazel like this and be content.

“You okay?” Her voice is gentle.

“Yeah, just a little nervous,” you admit truthfully.

“I get it, it's okay. Nothing’s wrong with being a little nervous,” she reassures you and the way she was rubbing her thumbs across the bare skin makes your head fuzzy. “Just take a deep breath in and out a few times.”

You do as she asks of you, your previous rapid heartbeat coming to a decrease in speed. Hazel seems to take notice of your chest slowing down.

“There you go. Good. That’s good, honey.”

Hazel praised you, a rush flooding to your brain. You gave her a shy smile as you tried to focus on what the whole point of this was. Kissing.

That’s it. It’s just kissing.

“So, now what?” You hum, fiddling with the end of Hazel’s gray hoodie.

“Let’s do one so I can see how you kiss.” Hazel rose a hand to cup your cheek, watching your breath hitch ever so slightly.

“Okay.”

“Don’t worry about kissing ‘bad’, okay? Go with the flow,” she reassures you once again.

You nod, muttering one final ‘okay’. Hazel leans her face towards yours, slightly brushing her lips against yours. From this soft touch alone, you could tell that you were going to fuck this up. Hazel closed the gap by tugging you by your cheek, locking your lips together.

You attempt to follow her slow rhythm as your hands grip onto the cotton of Hazel’s hoodie. This is going well, you think until Hazel pulls away. You instinctively try to chase her lips, but she chuckles softly at your attempt. Her hot breath brushes past your own slightly parted mouth.

“Getting eager, huh?” She teases, brushing her nose against yours.

“Shut up.” Your cheeks flush at her words.

That same flush spread to your chest and the depths of your stomach. All you wanted to do was jump her bones. Now, you understood why she had girls moaning so loud that there would be complaints from the neighboring peers.

“You did good, though. You really don’t have anything to worry about.” Hazel patted the side of your thigh like it was nothing.

“Really?” You furrow your brows, confused as to how you who had no experience could actually kiss well.

“Mhmm. I don’t think you have anything to worry about, honey. You’re a natural,” she glanced down at your lips with a smile.

“What about, like, making out? Like with tongue?” You were really pushing your luck now. There’s no way she was going to agree to doing more than just basic French kissing.

“Oh, yeah, that’s a little more complicated. There is such a thing as too much tongue. That’s how people get mono. It also just feels fucking gross.” Hazel explains with a grimace.

You copy her disgusted face as one of your sisters had gotten mono before and she couldn’t properly swallow anything for about a week. You remember her constant complaining, saying that she wouldn’t kiss anyone for the next year.

The following month she had gotten a boyfriend so clearly, she was a shit-faced liar.

“Yeah, that’s what I’ve heard,” you reply back with an awkward chuckle.

“That’s a worse-case scenario, though. It’s supposed to feel good like everything else that’s as intimate as this,” Hazel is quick to reassure you, her hands squeezing and rubbing at your thighs.

“Right. Got it. So, how is ‘good making out’ supposed to feel?” You held up your fingers to copy the quote motion. “I’ve heard you’re mind blowing at it so…”

“You really are boosting my ego here, honey,” Hazel shook her head slightly as if she was being bashful about her experience. Her cocky ass smile said otherwise.

“Like it wasn’t already up there,” you quipped back with a pointed look but your lips were curling into a giddy smile.

“Y’know we can’t make out when we talk, right?”

Hazel’s painfully attractive smirk forms on her lips.

Her hands grasp onto your waist, her thumbs digging into your lower ribs. The cold feeling of her silver rings caused you to gasp as her lips were against yours once again.

You hum against her lips, your hands cupping both sides of her face. From what you’ve seen in movies and shows, usually there’d be a hand through someone’s hair. You test it out and run one hand up the back of Hazel’s head, her soft hairs brushing in between your fingers.

Hazel’s tongue swipes past your bottom lip and you try to welcome it into your mouth. It feels… weird at first but when Hazel tugs you in closer with her tight grip, it heightens the pleasure for you. You suck on her tongue for just a moment before letting her take the reins once again.

You feel her pull away and you think she’s going to say that you did something wrong. No, her lips begin to trail down to your jaw. She made sure to leave a hot kiss on your cheek and jaw before latching yourself onto your neck.

You pant softly, a soft whine leaving your lips. Hazel’s tongue peeked out to lick across a sensitive spot on your neck that you didn’t even know about. How the fuck did she figure that out? She rolled the skin in between her lips and sucked softly.

“Haze,” you breathe out as you tilt your neck back.

This pulled Hazel out of her hungry-lust driven state. She didn’t ask if she could do that. You didn’t ask for a hickey. Fuck.

Hazel paused her movements, detaching herself from your neck. The skin glistened slightly with spit, highlighting the deepening blush color that had raised to your skin.

“Oh, fuck. Shit, I’m sorry,” Hazel rushed out as she examined the forming hickey.

“What? What is it?” You furrow your brows in a panic as well.

“This is gonna be a dark hickey later. Fuck, honey,” her thumb rubbed over the raw skin.

You stay silent. You didn’t want to admit that being covered in her hickies was something that you’ve wanted for a while now. Just friends, you reminded yourself. Just friends.

“It’s okay. I liked how it felt.” You suck in a deep breath, trying to calm your rapid heart rate.

Hazel’s alluring blue eyes flicker from the spot on your neck to your flushed face. It took everything in her to hold back the urge to kiss over it as an apology for what she did.

“Still, it’s not what you had asked to do. I should’ve,” Hazel paused to remove her hands from your waist. You already missed the warmth dearly. “I should’ve asked first.”

“Haze, it’s really okay. I felt…” Horny. Just horny. Desperate. Horny for a third time.

“Good?” She answered for you as you still hadn’t said anything.

You hadn’t realized that you had paused in real life instead of just in your head.

“Yeah, yeah, good. I promise,” you tell her with a soft smile.

“Well, it sounded like it was good,” Hazel quipped with a cocky smirk on her face before smacking her clothed shoulder.

“God, I’m regretting this already,” you half-lie.

You regret asking Hazel to be the one to teach you but you don’t regret her kissing you and giving you a hickey.

Oh, god.

How were you going to explain the dark mark on your neck to everyone? You never curled your hair so it’s not like a burn could be an excuse.

You were about to ask Hazel how you were going to cover it up when the door opened. Brittany stood at the door sporting a cropped black tank with a gemmed red heart and a pair of low-rise blue jeans. Her brows raised at the sight of you and Hazel before she pursed her lips to hide her obvious smile that was creeping onto her lips.

“I’ll just come back later,” Brittany gave Hazel a look that you couldn’t quite pinpoint.

Okay so everyone but Brittany.

taglist: @imjustapearl @beabeebrie @curiousshifter101 @seethesin @matchamilkislover <33

#hazel callahan x reader #bottoms movie #hazel callahan #bottoms 2023 #sapphic #wlw #ruby cruz #i need her #player!hazel is hot as fuck

[pinkhysteria]

anything lizzie does we get bashed over the head with it repeatedly, it's spelled out as Terrible and Awful and Bad. anything josie does it gets brushed aside immediately. i simply think the writers need to find a balance

this, and even if they never plan on changing that, i just wish we were allowed to at least talk about the latter and its relation to lizzie as fans without Them flipping their shit and making it blow up into "fandom discourse."

whenever josie is in the doghouse fandom-wise some of these ppl start saying wild shit like “i literally burnt my sister's hair off and killed her childhood pet and broke her fingers one by one and put poison ivy in her salad and tried to slit her throat when we were thirteen it’s NOT that deep 🙄” like okay then why do you have posts up talking about how you feel sooo bad for poor poor abused josie and she deserves better family than lizzie?? if it's all just fun and games? answer that, babe!

like why do y’all get to understandably empathize with josie re: lizzie being selfish/oblivious at times but if lizzie stans ever feel bad for her with some of the things josie has done to her we have to listen to you painstakingly explain how it’s actually normal to tell ur sister people hate her cuz she’s mentally ill jdskjdsk

#like this is what i’m TALKING ABOUT JDSKJD #the only time u wanna start #‘codependency is a two way street’ing and ‘siblings have drama that’s normal’ing is when u wanna defend josie #when it’s LIZZIE it’s toxic and josie is being treated horribly and ‘awww i feel so bad’ #it’s always ‘being mentally ill doesn’t excuse all of lizzie’s behavior/actions’ WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE #but with josie it’s ‘well she’s insecure’ ‘well she doesn’t know how to speak up’ ‘well alaric’ like... ok. #that doesn’t work for me sorry! #u can't have ur 'i really relate to josie having such shitty family so imma exaggerate that' cake #and then pull a 'uwu they've both made mistake' when she fuck up too #tvdu op #💌.inbox #some stuff they do re: each other i definitely say 'oh therapy is needed!' on both sides - including lizzie #but the show takes small shit and blows it up w/lizzie and treats the 'small' stuff with josie... as small stuff #like i don't need josie to 'face consequences' for everything i just want them to r e l a x

[highly-flammable]

Reacting to Legacies 3x03 (SPOILERS):

1. So ARE we FINALLY getting to some proper firstborn Mikaelson witch breakdowns?

2. Oh well, apparently no. They'll just try to wave it off as some one time thing probably.

3. So Hope and Landon are on a break. Okay. TBH watching them sass each other is interesting.

4. The guidance counselor is pretty much a compulsion monster, is that it? Well, I do like his wardrobe.

5. Alyssa's concern for MG is so fake I can't.

6. Nobody other than Jed read for Stefan? THE DISRESPECT.

7. Lizzie playing Caroline makes total sense but them asking Josie to play the lead without even an audition looks a bit bad TBH. Like, give the other interested people a chance, at least.

8. I find it a bit repetitive how there are mind-controlling monsters popping out again and again.

9. So MG is basically going through a phase similar to what Cami was going through when Klaus used to compel her at the beginning of TO. Considering Quincy's fondness for Cami, he must have liked playing that.

10. I understand that Landon is supposed to be a capable songwriter in-universe but it takes more than that to write and direct a musical and it's very weird that they didn't even find a guest star to pose as a Drama or English teacher who is guiding him or something. WHERE ARE ALL THE TEACHERS?

11. I kinda feel like some of the lead characters in this show are colour-coded. I see Hope and Landon in red and blue a lot (the two gowns we have seen Hope wearing also fall into this pattern) and Josie wears yellow in like, every other episode. If I recall correctly, Lizzie wears a lot of white, too. I wonder what the reasoning behind these choices are.

12. Well, I liked Hope and Landon's relationship in S1, I have no idea what was going on with it in S2, and I still don't know what to think about it.

13. Lizzie casts herself in Caroline's role and then chokes at rehearsal. Not totally unrealistic but still feels a bit forced to me. Would have been better if Landon cast her because she's Caroline's daughter and Lizzie was a bit apprehensive in the first place because she didn't want to mess up the role.

14. I appreciate the show taking a moment to talk about Lizzie's bipolar disorder though. It's been a while.

15. "Bonnie just disappears for long periods of time"? Dude, she's still super important and you're putting her in the play. Right? RIGHT?!

16. Landon, THANK YOU for pointing out how weird Caroline and Alaric's relationship was. The guy deadass got engaged to her and had a pissing contest over her with Stefan, that will never not gross me out.

17. So the monster is mind controlling Landon to put Klaus into the play. Saw this coming IG.

18. Hope is painting again, like her dad used to do when he felt things were going out of control. I've been rewatching TO and this is making me so emotional. I MISS KLAUS AND HIS SHENANIGANS. And not a single character on Legacies comes close to Klaus, Elijah and Hayley for me. (Sorry if this hurts anyone's feelings but Legacies really is a downgrade from TVD and TO)

19. Ugh, why would he use the contents of the letter as lyrics? Dude, is it because you're mind-controlled? No, I don't like this. Klaus loved Hope to the ends of the earth and wanted everyone to know but Hope wants to keep things private, and her wishes should have been respected.

20. So apparently Landon tries not to put Klaus' villainous antics into the show. Well, okay, it's definitely a copout but since he is Hope's boyfriend, makes sense. But I don't understand why the musical HAS TO BE about the Salvatore school. The accreditation excuse is lazy, writers! Also, Landon, my dude, Klaus was a major donor of the school. Put that in instead of the other things, stop pissing off your girlfriend FFS. Even if you're mind-controlled 🤦🏻‍♀️

21. I do find it funny how Landon is all gaga over Klaus' use of language though. The guy really did have the best lines, didn't he? (Tied with Elijah, I suppose, for me)

22. The other singers of the first song are really good so Kaylee sounds a bit rusty in comparison. Also, she reminds me too much of Dark!Josie with the hair and makeup. From a distance, she can be mistaken for Nina though.

23. I love that the backstage activities are being shown.

24. I'm digging Jed as Stefan and I really like his singing voice. And the Hero Hair wig cracked me up. Kaleb is obviously good at singing at it's nice to hear more from him. I also like how Chris Lee didn't try to exactly emulate Ian and played Damon how someone who has only heard about him might play him.

25. Is Hope painting herself before the pit or something? Or is this supposed to symbolize her despair at her parents' loss? ALSO, I WANT SOMEONE TO MENTION HAYLEY :( Why is Hayley so ignored?!

26. The same person probably wrote MG's notes and Caroline's letter IRL and therefore, in-universe, MG has Caroline's handwriting and it's funny to me.

27. Jenny sings well, I like it. I don't understand the song though, was Caroline actually ever feeling this insecure? I feel like the song became a lot more about Lizzie than her mother. (It's been forever since I watched TVD, if anyone has yet to guess, I prefer watching TO)

28. The doppelganger thing cracked me up.

29. Wait why did the monster attack Josie?! Ohhhh he's forcing Landon to improvise and put Klaus' song at the end. Well, I guess it makes it seem a bit less like Landon's fault. But would Hope know that?

30. It's hilarious how they lowkey make a call back to Nina leaving TVD and them having to put Elena in a sleep spell though.

31. Landon having a hissy fit is funny to me. Aria needs more comedic scenes.

32. Wait, where did Jade come from? Has she been in the school all these weeks?

33. While the scene seems a bit shabby to me, Klaus talking to Hope reminds me of their scene from TO 4X03. I needed more of Summer Fontana and Joseph Morgan together. Also, the donation did get mentioned, YASSSS. Man did some horrific things but he did fund the school so maybe a little less badmouthing in the presence of his daughter now that you know the story, eh, students?

34. The fact that the guidance counselor actually wore a leather jacket and a henley is cracking me up. It's really bizarre.

35. "Terrible painter" XD Klaus would have eaten you for saying that if he were alive.

36. Um, Hope, wouldn't you ask your family if you are doing enough to make your father proud, instead of this random bloke who supposedly met him once?! Maybe call Freya or Rebekah.

37. Why is this monster being nice to Hope? Doesn't it try to break people up or something? You'd think he'd try to piss her off even more and ruin her relationship with Landon.

38. Stefan was trying to be more like Damon by sacrificing himself? Um, what?

39. Well, this musical at least gave Stefan and Caroline a goodbye scene. I wonder how much the twins remember Stefan, must have been a bit emotional for Lizzie to play that. Jenny's singing was gooood, really liked it.

40. JED WAS GONNA KISS LIZZIE AND I WANTED IT TO HAPPEN. But a forehead kiss does work.

41. Hope's playing Elena now? What?

42. Ngl I want Hope and Jed to be friends. She needs more of a connection to her wolf side. Both of her parents wanted her to be surrounded by wolves and she's barely interacting with the wolves in this show, which always makes me sad.

43. So this monster can also do little spells and move physical objects eh? Whatever, this is random.

44. And this monster brings people back together? Why?

45. So when Hope is singing, is she doing it as Elena or Hope? She came on stage as Elena, but I thought the song is about Hope. So WHAT IS IT?

46. Oh Damon's on stage, so Hope is singing as Elena and it's a call back to the graveyard scene from the TVD finale.

47. Danielle sings pretty well. It's good she decided to perform this time.

48. Okay, that lifting up scene was adorable. I feel like Hope and Landon are at their cutest when they're a bit spontaneous. But she's Elena on stage and it lowkey looks like Landon crashed her romantic scene with Damon to kiss her so I'm cackling.

49. How much older is Jade supposed to be than Josie?

50. So is Josie going to leave the school for a while and that's why Ethan will be back in the picture?

51. Jade used to babysit Josie? Okay, it is hella awkward.

52. Josie why, don't do this, yikes. Kissing her once doesn't make it non-creepy.

53. The Sheriff feels kinda shoehorned to me. Also, I don't care for Matt Davis or his character.

54. So Candice did the voiceover for Caroline's letter. That's nice for the show. I still don't understand why the letter showed up in Hope's fireplace though LOL.

55. This episode should have spent more time exploring the aftermath of the loss of Rafael. The abrupt shift from the last episode wasn't nice.

56. Yeah, kids, talk out your problems, thanks.

57. I feel like Klaus is too much of a controversial figure that Hope's conflict about her father's reputation would be resolved in one day. This is feeling undercooked. Speaking of, when is one of Klaus' or Hayley's enemies coming after Hope, because she did inherit all of them. Would make for better storytelling than this monster of the week nonsense. And yeah, still no mention of Hayley, I hate this.

58. The monster's characterization was really odd to me and I am so tired of this format SMH.

59. So they toyed with MG for weeks to get a vampire for the spell? That sounds like too much effort. There are tons of vampires from Klaus and Rebekah's bloodline, they couldn't find another? Also, I wonder who is the wolf that they will use.

Well, I felt like this episode was mostly okay, but not that well-cooked or epic or whatever. What is horrific is that they didn't show Bonnie, though. They could have at least gotten a female black guest character who is one of the witch students or something. This is very offensive.

Also, I don't think it makes sense for the show to do any more musicals in the future. This ain't Riverdale.

#legacies #legacies cw #hope mikaelson #landon kirby #lizzie saltzman #josie saltzman #kaleb #jed #milton greasley #alyssa chang #jade #klaus mikaelson #hayley marshall #elena gilbert #damon salvatore #stefan salvatore #bonnie bennett #caroline forbes #cami o'connell

[timeladyjamie]

The Battle of Self-Love with Josie & Dark Josie in Legacies 2x16

Welcome to another one of my meta’s, but the first one I’ve done for the Legacies fandom. 

I felt this one really had to be covered because the symbolism of what happens to Josie in this episode speaks not only to me, but many other people who struggle with self-love and their inner battles with themselves. So enjoy my ramblings. 

This is a very personal and deep one for me so I’m shedding my skin with this one and laying demons to rest. This meta also includes helpful tips to resources concerning the topic of Self-Love and Inner Mean Girls. 

Trigger warnings may be present. 

Dark Josie is Josie. They are the same person and as the Queen of Mean™ points out in previous episodes, she was created to help Josie survive. She was in a tough situation and had to help save her family/friends. Of course, as always, Josie makes the tough call and breaks the clock, taking all the Dark Magic into her. Sure, it makes her more powerful, but it also awakens all the darkness she keeps locked away inside her, pushing into a trunk, afraid to face it. At least everyone is safe though...or so they think. This is where the line “Don’t let it break” comes into play because the beast she held within is finally free, even if it seems things are finally back to normal. There is no running from the darkness within. 

Dark Josie points out multiple times that if it wasn’t for her, Josie wouldn’t survive. It all makes sense since she was created to help her do that exact thing...but the only way that Dark Josie thinks she can achieve this goal is by killing Josie herself (which is contradictory, but this is what our Inner Mean Girl’s do.) They tell you all the negative things about yourself. They try to drain you down, make you depressed, and convince you of their lies until you give up because they think it is the only way to help you survive. I know this from personal experience. I thought if I kept telling myself all these negative things that it would shield me and make me stronger...but it didn’t. All it did was start to destroy myself. I just didn’t realize it at first.

Dark Josie with her convincing lies and ways to win the battle makes Josie think she is stronger and invincible this way. Even when others point out that this isn’t Jo, she tells them to get use to it and accept it because this is who she is now; An entity full of nothing but rage, jealously, and bitterness that isn’t going to let anyone use her or abuse her ever again. If this is who she needs to be to protect herself, then so be it. Dark Josie even says she finds everything clearer now and breaks free from her prison. It’s the high of the lies. 

She is determined to go after her next target that makes her weak: Lizzie. With plans to overcome the trial of the merge and defeat her sister, nothing is going to stop Dark Josie, especially not MJ’s kindness or Hope Mikaelson who asks for the real Josie. 

Hope: Where’s Josie?

Dark Josie: I’m right here, silly.

Hope: The real Josie, our Josie.

Dark Josie: So you mean weak Josie. She’s gone. I thought I made that very clear.

Dark Josie doesn’t want them to have anything to do with Josie because what would they want to do with a weak, helpless, powerless girl that kept letting herself get hurt and used by others? Josie is gone and they need to deal with it, right? This is who she is now. While she is determined to prove to everyone that she is better and more powerful this way, Hope is determined to prove to Josie that she was strong all along. And this is one of the important moments because while our views of ourselves are obstructed and skewed, sometimes we need the reminder of who we truly are from someone else who knows us and won’t give up on us. This is Hope for Josie.

Hope: I know you think she is weak. But I know the truth: she’s strong. You’re strong! And you’re always there for your friends when they need you. So, please Jo, we really need you right now.

Dark Josie: Shut up! Everyone shut up!

Obviously this determination to not give up on the good inside her effects the hold Dark Josie has. For a moment the real Josie pops through before hiding back as Dark Josie takes control again. No, she can’t believe this because Josie doesn’t believe she was ever strong. She’s only strong as Dark Josie. The merge happens and Dark Josie thinks she has won...but there is someone who isn’t giving up on her, even if she has already given up on herself.

Hope goes into her subconscious which is a fairytale land produced by the simple black and white fairytales her mother would tell her of battles between good guys and bad guys. In this world Josie is a princess who sealed herself away with a sleeping spell to keep away the darkness, but she is also the said Darkness that is out to kill the Princess and destroy the kingdom. Once Josie is awakened and Dark Josie is aware, she confronts the girls.

Feeling she is unable to defeat the Evil Queen, Josie has a meaningful talk with Hope who gives her a wakeup call. 

Hope: We have to keep moving.

Josie: It doesn’t matter. We’re never going to get away from her.

Hope: Jo. While you’ve been trapped in here, she’s been rampaging in the real world. She even tried to Merge with Lizzie. 

Josie: Oh my god, is she okay?

Hope: For now. That’s why we have to stop her. 

Josie: She’s more powerful than I am. 

Hope: Jo, she is you- some part of you. You can control her somehow. Pretty messed up subconscious you got here by the way.

Josie: Are we surprised? My mom used to read us fairytales for bedtime stories. They were so calming. There was Good Guys and Bad Guys; very clear rules that you had to follow. It all made sense unlike my life. 

Hope: Well, this fairytale sucks.

Josie: It’s accurate. I’m either the powerful, petty bitch or the good, weak victim. 

Hope: That’s a story that you’re telling yourself. I mean, your subconscious made a fairytale that the good you is weak and the powerful you is evil. Tell yourself a different story.

Dark Josie shows up once again and Hope tries to tell her to change the story before being turned to stone. Josie runs for her life from herself, but realizes at this point there is no where else she can go.

The only thing she can do now is confront herself and the darkness within her that she kept trying to avoid. Cue that quote; “You can’t run from yourself.” Now, Josie must face the monster within her.

Dark Josie instantly takes to calling out Josie’s insecurities, pointing out all her flaws because she KNOWS how much it eats away at Josie. These are all the inner thoughts and feelings she’s kept buried inside her like a hurricane. 

She reminds Josie of her place and the reason why Dark Josie is here. 

Dark Josie: “This is what being strong looks like.” 

Hope: “That's a story that you're telling yourself. I mean, your subconscious made a fairytale that the good you is weak and the powerful you is evil. Tell yourself a different story.

Echoing back to Hope’s words, this is when the self-realization and awakening in Josie begins to play out. 

She realizes her mindset, Dark Josie’s mindset, is wrong. Josie begins to accept and face her own actions, knowing she was wrong, not only about her mindset on things, but especially her view towards herself. 

Josie didn’t need to become this dark version of herself in order to survive and be strong. There was never anything weak or powerless about Josie to begin with. She was always strong and incredible the way she was- others like Hope could see it, but Josie couldn’t. 

Dark Josie tries to silence this because she doesn’t want Josie having any power. She doesn’t want her waking up to the realization about herself because once you begin to awaken to the truth about your inner mean girl, that’s when she loses her hold over you - and she doesn’t want that happening.

Josie: I’m not afraid of you anymore...because I’m holding the axe.

Dark Josie: ((scoffs before realizing the axe is gone from her hands and now in Josies.))

Josie: ((smiles, holding the axe))

Dark Josie: I just bound you to this cabin. You’re trapped here forever.

Josie: I’m not trapped...because we’re not in the cabin anymore. ((They are now in the forest outside the castle.)) And if you use your magic against me, it hurts you too. ((Dark Josie is stripped of her magic.)) And most importantly, you’re not wearing armor anymore.

Josie begins to take her control over her inner mean girl, but I think one of the most important parts of when she does this is the kiss Josie gives her inner mean girl. BUT WHY? Granted, Josie has put an axe in her, but why should she be kind to the darkness within her after all it was doing to everyone, especially herself?

First off, you need to remember- your inner mean girl is you. Once you accept she is a problem that needs to be addressed, then you must address it. But not with ignoring her, or booting her away...but with kindness. She is a part of you that came into fruition in order to protect you from some sort of trauma or hurt. Honestly, she had the best intentions for you but took it completely overboard. This doesn’t mean you should give her any sliver of control, but it also doesn’t mean you should treat her without compassion. 

After all, compassion is what helps heal. 

And this is the step Josie takes next: laying her inner mean girl down with TLC

Josie: It’s over.

Dark Josie: *chuckles* It’ll never be over. As long as you have Black Magic in you, I will always find a way back.

Josie: We’ll see. *lays a kiss upon her forehead as Dark Josie falls asleep*

You’re inner mean girl will always be a part of you. She will always be inside you, ready to take to defense when you least expect it. There is no gettin rid of her...but you can at least control her by remembering her ways and knowing you always have the power to change the story despite what she may say. 

Another lovely thing I must point out before I get to the conclusion of this post is not only how important it is for you to realize the power you have over your inner mean girl and her ways to affect you, but the people around you who support you and never give up on you, even when you’ve given up on yourself.

Those people are absolute blessings and you can be one of them towards yourself and others too. 

I love the scene where after all of this, Alaric speaks to his daughter about what happened and they have this conversation:

Josie: Thank you for not giving up on me, even though I didn’t deserve it.

Alaric: You know, one of the many joys of being a father is getting to see you slowly figure out how much deserve, and one day you realize that what you deserve is to never be given up on. 

When we go through something traumatic or overwhelming, whether it be a friend that hurt you, a family member that rejected you, you feel used or abused, or something didn’t turn out the way you planned, we usually tend to be hard on ourselves for it. All these insecurities deep inside us begin to eat away and make a home for themselves, especially if we tend to avoid them or don’t acknowledge it. We start to turn into our own worst enemies because we believe we deserve all the shit we get in return. Then we start to lose sight of ourselves and who we are; what we’re capable. Sometimes we can become the very thing we swore to never become. 

The Battle between Dark Josie & Josie is an example of this.

 And you know what the moral of this story is? 

It’s okay. We are all human and we’ve all been through this or are currently going through it with our inner mean selves. 

But you can change the story because you have the power. So, tell yourself a different story.

Accept you have a inner mean self.

Figure out how they work and what type of inner meany they are

And realize you have the power to tell yourself a different story. 

It won’t be easy. It’s never easy, but you are capable of it. 

________________________________________________________________

A special thank you to my sources on this matter down below.:

And the Reform your Inner Mean Girl book by Amy Ahlers & Christine Arlyo. You can check out their website here and order the book which has a lot of helpful tips and helps you have more insight on how our Inner Mean Girls work. 

From another person facing the battle of Self-Love against my Inner Mean girl, I leave you this reminder. Till the next meta! 

- Jamie

#josie saltzman #legacies #self love #tw triggers #Jamie's Metas #inner battles

[professionalfixator]

The Complicated Relationship of Gilbert and Moody

An Analysis That No One Asked For But Got Anyway 

By G.H. Tehrani, Psychology Student

The relationship of Gilbert Blythe and Moody Spurgeon is complicated to say the least. It is also complicated to analyze, given that the amount of screentime of them is extremely limited, ranging anywhere from a few seconds to a minute. But from this little screentime showrunner Moira Walley-Beckett gave us, there is a lot to break down. While you may think this is an unimportant relationship to break down (why not Moody and Charlie, or Gilbert and Billy?), Gilbert and Moody could actually have a large role in future seasons and can say something really interesting about the state of society - but more on those later.  First, we have to take it back to the beginning. 

Where It All Started: Season 1 

As you all know, because we are watching from Anne’s perspective, we meet the schoolkids after they have all known each other for years. We don’t know exactly how long they have known each other, but since it’s a small town, I’m going to guess it’s been since they were little kids. 

In episode 3, Gilbert walks into the schoolhouse and we instantly know his social role. He’s the tall, smart, popular guy with the dark eyes that all the girls love. Interestingly enough, the first person to call out Gilbert’s name when he returns to school is Moody, who immediately pulls him away to ask him all about his travelling adventures. 

Moody is, simply put, the opposite of Gilbert in Season 1. He’s shorter than the other boys, chubby and jolly. It’s not a far cry to say that Moody admired Gilbert, and aspired to be like him, especially since Gilbert is a year older. Most of the boys did. Moody most likely always wished that he could have the same kind of attention that Gilbert gets from the girls, instead of just being called “ridiculous” (as Diana delightfully put it). No one would ever call Gilbert ridiculous...he’s Gilbert! 

We can tell by their interactions that Gilbert is at least vaguely friends with Moody and the other boys. He jokes around with them, goofs off in class, and generally seems to be having a good time with them. 

But when Gilbert’s father dies in Season 1 Episode 6, we see a drastic change in Gilbert’s personality, and this lends itself to changes within his relationships as well. 

Gilbert’s Crisis: Season 1 to Season 2

After Mr. Blythe’s death at the end of Season 1, we see a much more emotionally disturbed version of Gilbert. He’s grieving, and not taking it well. He pushes everyone away, including Anne, and punches Billy in the face when he calls him his “bud”. Although we don’t see Moody in any of this, we do get a look inside Gilbert’s head. The insensitivity of his classmates puts him off and for the first time, he sees the gap between him and them. They’re still kids and don’t understand the weight of what he’s going through. This most likely factored into his decision to leave town and travel the world.

When he meets Bash, it seems like Bash gets through to him, helping him heal from his father’s death. He sings, writes letters to Anne, and seems like he’s having the time of his life (who wouldn’t be, travelling is awesome). He also discovers his passion for medicine when he gives birth to a baby in Trinidad. 

Growing Up: Season 2

While Gilbert was travelling the world, Moody was having some firsts of his own. He has his - presumably - first kiss in Season 2 Episode 5, when he’s forced to kiss Diana during spin the bottle. But overall, it seems like he was still the same character he was in Season 1, just a little older, but that could be because we hardly get to see him this season, at least in the first 5 or so episodes. 

But it seems that travelling did Gilbert a world of good, because when he returns to Avonlea with Bash, we see him chatting with his schoolmates. 

He seems perfectly fine here, almost like his old sociable self, but there’s a distance there. Things can’t quite be the same. He agrees to help with the pantomime, but stays off to the side, not interacting with any of his schoolmates. He actually never interacts with his schoolmates after that brief shot in Episode 6 of Season 2, except for going to help Cole when he breaks his wrist (thanks, Billy), but that doesn't entirely count, since he was in Doctor Blythe mode. In every schoolhouse scene, Gilbert is sitting by himself studying for his vocation. We really don't see any kind of Gilbert-schoolmate relationship, nevermind Gilbert and Moody. The only times we see them in the same scene or frame was:

1. When Moody is backstage during the pantomime and Gilbert is manning the rig, however we don't see them speak to each other,

And 2. When Moody is about to lick the lightbulb and Gilbert, Anne and literally everyone else in the room yell at him not to.

So, this leaves us with Season 3, where most of Gilbert and Moody's interactions occur, and where we can really closely study their relationship.

At Odds: Season 3

At the start of Season 3, we're put at a bit of disadvantage. We have no idea what happened in the last 2 years since Season 2, but we can assume that it followed the same pattern, the schoolkids growing up and having new experiences, while Gilbert drifted away into adulthood.

At the beginning of Season 3, we see him playing hockey with the boys, so he isn't completely detached (yet). Gilbert is still ignoring Ruby (more on that later) and Moody is flirting with Diana. 

Again they don't interact. Now, just because we don't SEE them interact doesn't mean that they never do, but it's safe to say that outside of the canon scenes, they don't either. Case in point: the 3x01 classroom scene. Gilbert is sitting in a corner reading a book, and Moody is on the other end of the room talking with some other boys. No interaction.

Gilbert is playing with them, yes, but that doesn't mean he is ONE of them, not anymore anyway. (Note: It is mentioned that he leaves often to go to Charlottetown for his apprenticeship with Dr. Ward.) The boys probably view him as less of a peer and more of this distant figure who is sometimes there and sometimes isn't.

But! Remember what we mentioned early on in this essay: "It’s not a far cry to say that Moody admired Gilbert, and aspired to be like him, especially since Gilbert is a year older. [...] Moody most likely always wished that he could have the same kind of attention that Gilbert gets from the girls."

Things have changed now, Moody is older. Slimmer and taller, but that doesn't mean he's not still insecure. He still respects Gilbert and his opinion. The evidence for this? 

1. In 3x05, when Moody is injured and the Indigenous healer offers him the leaf of a weeping tree, he initially refuses, only accepting because it was Gilbert who told him it was okay to eat it, 

2. Also in 3x05, Moody asks Dr. Gilbert if it’s okay to dance, but Gilbert says no, so he doesn’t dance, 

3. And in 3x07, when Moody rightfully criticizes Anne for her article, the moment Gilbert claps back at him in her defence, he immediately shuts up and looks almost sheepish - showing us that he really values Gilbert’s opinion, even though earlier on they are clearly seen arguing - only interrupted by Miss Stacy’s paper airplane. 

These are all moments that show us that Moody respects Gilbert, because he’s older and is studying to be a doctor. However, he is the only one that thinks that way. By this point, most of the Avonlea boys don’t want to be friends with Gilbert anymore (this is made clear by the fact that none of the boys are seen talking to him ever). Gilbert has pushed them away enough times for them to stay away. But Moody is the only one who still wants to be friends with Gilbert. This is evidenced by: 

1. In 3x08, Moody actively attempts to make conversation with Gilbert at Miss Stacy’s house. He asks him about Winifred and invites him to the ruins (possibly hopeful that he would actually show up), 

2. Also in 3x08, Moody hyperventilates and yells, “Where is Gilbert!?” - either because of Gilbert’s doctor status or because he wanted him to be there for moral support, 

3. In 3x09, when they’re rebuilding the school, Moody AGAIN tries to make conversation with Gilbert, asking him about Winnie and what he’s going to do after he’s married, but Gilbert blows him off and walks away in the middle of their conversation, 

4. and finally, in 3x10, when they get their exam results, Moody congratulates Gilbert by calling him PEI’s finest.  

More than once we see Moody try to be Gilbert’s friend, supportive of him, and time and time again Gilbert blows him off or treats him like he’s less than. Because in Gilbert’s mind, he is. Moody could never understand him. We can tell by his responses to Moody’s advances. Blank stare, eyebrows, “That’s not how it works”, “I know what you meant Moody” or just not showing up. He doesn’t show up to the ruins, the only reason he went there was to talk to Anne. He treats Moody like he’s below him or just one of his patients - like in 3x05. 

Not to mention that he purposefully humiliated him in 3x07 in front of Ruby. Moody was right about Anne’s article, and he was in the right to voice his opinion, and Gilbert arguably crossed a line by putting him down, exposing Moody’s feelings for Ruby to the class (don’t think Gilbert chose a random person for his demonstration). 

But, I’m not going to get too ahead of myself, because we haven’t even talked about Ruby yet. 

Gilbert, Moody and Ruby: Season 1 to Season 3

Ruby genuinely loved Gilbert. 

That’s a bold statement, but it is arguably true. She cared for him, about as much as a 10 to 16-year-old could given their less developed prefrontal cortex. Sure, it was a little obsessive, but you can’t tell me there wasn’t some actual feeling in there. In 1x03, Josie tells us Ruby has liked Gilbert for three years, and by the time we get to Season 3, six years. 

S i x y e a r s. For Ruby to be able to like Gilbert for six years, she must have seen something in him other than looks (though she mentions it the most). In Season 1, Gilbert is handsome, kind, charismatic, and smart. I could see where she’s coming from. He was a good guy. 

But here’s the thing, for all of Ruby’s love and adoration, Gilbert never gave her a single thing back. (Yes, he lifted her off the ground, but that was because Anne was there.) 

Not once did Gilbert ever do anything nice for Ruby because he actually wanted to. No matter what Ruby would do, how obvious she made her feelings, Gilbert ignored her and liked Anne - her best friend(!) instead. The gentlemanly thing to do would have been to tell Ruby he wasn’t interested in her, but that never happened. I don’t know if that makes Gilbert an oblivious boy or a jerk. But he couldn’t have been that oblivious since he’s an observant guy. 

The only explanation would be that he didn’t see Ruby an important person to clear things up with. Again, we see Gilbert deeming people less than because of his own cognitive bias toward thinking he is superior to everyone else in maturity because of his life experience. The only reason he paid any attention to Anne in the first place, was because he deemed her as an equal to his superior maturity, which she was. 

Given all this, where does Moody fit in? 

Moody was always a good friend to Ruby. We don’t see it very much, but they were in the same school together, and Moody helped her and Anne save Miss Stacy. 

But that also means, being Ruby’s acquaintance/friend, he watched her cry over Gilbert for six years. 

For six years, he has seen Ruby try and fail to get Gilbert’s attention and be disappointed when it doesn’t work out. A never-ending cycle of tears and hurt, that Moody could do nothing to help because he was just her guy friend. We know Moody wants to help people -  that’s why he’s going to become a minister - so for him to be unable to help Ruby is just painful. 

In Season 3, Moody has experienced a similar situation with Diana (Diana deems people less than because of her superior social status and wealth), so now he knows how Ruby feels and he’s even more empathetic toward her.

Does Moody harbor resentment toward Gilbert for his treatment of Ruby? Maybe. 

In 3x03, when Ruby is crying over Gilbert’s absence (again) and accidentally wrote his name in the newspaper. Everyone laughs but Moody looks on sympathetically, showing this is upsetting him more than it is amusing him. 

When Ruby says, “Gilbert was so heroic”, Moody gives her his handkerchief, which in that time period was a very heroic thing to do. It’s an act of romance and the first nice thing a boy has ever done for Ruby...which is kind of sad if you think about it. Moody is conveying in that moment that Gilbert isn’t the only heroic boy in Avonlea (he is too). 

This means so much to her, that she ends up getting over Gilbert and falling for Moody instead, which is the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen on TV. 

The Future of Gilbert and Moody: Season 4 and Beyond

Even though Anne with an E was sadly cancelled in November 2019, due to an ongoing dispute between Netflix and CBC, that doesn’t mean we can’t theorize about the content of a future Season 4 and 5. 

We know Moody is going to be going to Queens withe rest of his classmates and Gilbert is going to University of Toronto. However, Moody’s time at Queens is probably temporary. In the books, he becomes a minister, so I searched up Bible Colleges in Canada to see where he would be able to train as one. I discovered that a new college had just opened in the late 1890s: Toronto Bible College, which trained common-folk as missionaries and ministers. 

The cool part? Toronto Bible College was down the street from University of Toronto. 

Moody and Gilbert would be going to school together, maybe even rooming together, for the next 3 years. 

How would their relationship in Seasons 1 - 3 factor in to their experience as roommates? It would be interesting to see Moody confront Gilbert for what he did to Ruby. This would give Gilbert an opportunity to redeem himself and be likable again. 

Some Controversial Conclusions on Gilbert Blythe 

I started this essay in early January, but it is now late March and I have left the Anne with an E fandom. One of the reasons I left was the growing toxicity and idealization of Gilbert. All the time I would see tweets and posts claiming that, “Gilbert is my dream man”, “I wish I had a guy like Gilbert”, “The only good guys are fictional (Gilbert)”. It ticked me off because it’s just not true. Gilbert is not a good guy. He is a jerk with a superiority complex. 

In every version of Anne, Gilbert completely worships Anne. He adores her, writes poems for her, almost dies without her. He is very needy and clingy, and we view that as romantic, because we want to be worshiped. 

Dating Gilbert would include him being unable to survive without you, constantly fearing you’re going to fall out of love with him, needing constant reiteration of your feelings, showering you with affection and flowery words, and possibly not allowing you to have any male friends. That isn’t romantic. 

Being true equals in a secure relationship would be understanding that you love each other - and being secure in that - and being able to let them be free to do the things they want to do without constantly needing validation. I’m not saying Gilbert in AWAE is toxic, but he has severe communication issues that no girl should have to put up with. 

Note: I’m not saying that Gilbert is a bad person through and through. He is a gentle soul, we see it in his interactions with Bash, Mary and Delphine. A lot of his negative actions may have subconscious causes. But we’re not slaves to our subconscious. Even if we are implicitly being a jerk, there are still conscious ways to change our behavior and become better people.  

#gilbert blythe #moody spurgeon #friendship analysis #psychology #tv analysis #analysis #anne with an e #awae analysis #relationship breakdown #long post

[pluviophile-bookworm]

AWAE 1x2 rewatch: thoughts and reactions

It has now been two weeks without new AWAE content, and the fate of the show is still uncertain, no matter what Moira might have said recently. She did say, however, that “you can return to it and it will always be here for you”, so let’s dive right into what I remember to be one of the darkest episodes in the whole series...

I said dark, and it’s dark, alright - even just in  terms of lighting. The cold open is almost black and white (with a lot more black than white), and fully deserving of the modifier “cold” (although that is just a technical term and there have been quite a few beautiful cold opens throughout the series). I’m not sure how I’m supposed to make it through this, but well, I made it once before, so why not?

I cannot imagine the intensity of the negative emotions Anne must have been taken over by in order to be rendered completely speechless. Not after she spoke some of her “25-cent words” even when she claimed to be in the depths of despair. Imagine how much worse she must be feeling now. Imagine that if you can, because it is beyond me. 

You know, one of the most horrific things about this episode in my memory of it was the man that claims to have been sent “by her family”. I mean, it is horrific to think what would have happened to Anne if she had gone with him, it is utterly horrific that there must be other kids out there who might fall prey to him, but something I hadn’t considered before is how horrific, though lucky at the time, it is that she doesn’t believe him because she has no family at the time. I mean, as much as I am... at odds with my family, to say the least, I couldn’t ever imagine a life without them. It must be so terrible, I don’t even have a word for it in my vocabulary of four languages. 

I don’t even want to think about what must be going through poor Matthew’s mind right now. The man has never been a parent in his life, thought he might become one to Anne for a little while, and now he seems to be losing her again. I do not want to watch my favourites suffer so much, and yet I will have to. I sent myself on this journey, and now I’ll have to go through with it. 

You know how much worse it feels to return to something bad after you’ve seen better? Anne might have survived the orphanage with at least half her sanity, but not after she’s seen Green Gables. We saw the way she viewed it and every single thing within it. Going back to that nightmarish place again after that...I don’t want to think about it. Gosh, even seeing her go back just to investigate her past in season 3 was so frightful, imagine how she must feel now that she thinks she’ll have to live there indefinitely... 

You have no idea how relieved I am to see this horrifying cold open is finally over. I might have to go back and watch the 3x5 cold open with Beekeeper Gilbert to fix me after this. Not that the rest of the episode promises to be much brighter... might as well focus on the intro.

As dark as this episode is, seeing my tiny boy Jerry for a minute brightens it a bit for me. See, this is what rewatching is for. When I was watching the episode for the first time, there was no way for me to know that Jerry would go on to become one of the little bright lights that this series would bring into my life. And now just seeing him in the middle of all the tragedy and drama of it all, just being there, not fazed by the whole situation... his neutral presence is kind of grounding for me. 

As Marilla delivers her worried speech, I’m getting flashbacks of 3x9, where she is in a similar situation - except she already saw Anne as her daughter at that point. Here, Anne still hasn’t quite grown on her, and yet she is so worried - but I mean, after all, it was Marilla who sent her away, only to realise her error immediately afterwards. That last one kind of reminds me of Anne in 3x10 ripping up Gilbert’s letter and then running down to put it back together. It’s kind of on a lower scale of importance than what is happening in this episode, but I can’t help seeing it as an Anne/ Marilla parallel. They really have much more in common than it might seem at first.

Sure, Rachel might be there to try and calm Marilla down and give her hope, but... “Boy!” He has a name, you know. Wouldn’t hurt to learn it, even if he’s just the hired boy (of course, he’s not “just” anything, he’s a honorary part of the family - even if he’s in no way there to replace Anne). Rachel has good intentions, but she annoys me most of the time. 

That one shot of Anne peeking through the leaves and branches... this episode might be dark, but it still has moments that are 100% my aesthetic. 

[Image credit: kissthemgoodbye]

Mr. Avery? Isn’t he the one who unknowingly helped Ka’kwet escape in 3x8? I don’t know much about this man, but what I know is he’s given a ride to both Anne and Ka’kwet, this being one of many similarities between the two. Seriously, I need a season 4 in which Ka’kwet is saved from that school.

Seeing Matthew go through all this when he doesn’t even know for sure if he’ll ever find Anne... heartbreaking. He really does love her already. A true kindred spirit. But seriously, that girl didn’t look like her at all, even from the back. She did remind me of season 3 Anne, though.

Seeing Anne so cheerful and her usual talkative self brightens my day, except I don’t know how long it’s going to last, and at this point I’m completely lost as to what she’s planning to do. But that’s what rewatching is for. 

Poor Matthew went through more in a couple of days than he’s been through his whole long life... possibly. I certainly hope so. And Marilla can’t even bring herself to speak (which isn’t as striking as when it was Anne, but still), and she’s going out of her way to take care of Jerry, as if to make up for how she treated Anne. The girl really shook up their lives in just so little time, didn’t she?

I will never forget what I thought when I first watched Anne recite poems at the station. I could never do that, I thought. People frighten me. But there is Anne, who has been hurt, abused, neglected by so many, and yet she keeps that bright big smile on her face and goes on reciting with the truest passion I’ve ever seen. I have no words to describe my admiration for her.

I cannot to this day believe Anne was willing to turn her back on Matthew - all until she heard the word “daughter” - spoken with such sincerity that she must have felt it in the depths of her soul. Poor old Matthew, who went through all this trouble just to find her again... and she was going to turn her back on him because having a family seemed too good to be true. Because she had been hurt one time too many. But this little word changed it all. It warms my heart, you know - seeing Anne find family in the Cuthberts, then in other people around her. I’m not crying, you are.

At several points after Anne came back, I could see Marilla was trying to apologise for accusing her of stealing the brooch - but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. Because she’s obviously still overwhelmed with guilt over what happened to Anne after that. And my, you could cut the tension between the two of them with a butter knife. Just resolve this quickly, will you? It’s obviously making Matthew feel very uncomfortable.

Jerry’s attitude to Anne is killing me... in a positive way. As in, it makes me laugh. These two are such typical siblings - they just don’t know it yet. There’s a heartbreaking moment to it, though, and it will always be there: after seeing him so destroyed, so insecure in 3x7, every instance of him just being a shameless little deadpan snarker will be a slap in the face reminding me of the one single time he wasn’t. I’m not even sure if an apology on Diana’s part would fix this completely, but it wouldn’t hurt to try, now would it? #renewannewithane

Speaking of Diana, there she is now. And she’s so openly happy to see Anne back... I say openly because Marilla flat out refuses to show any emotion about it, and Matthew isn’t exactly know for his eloquent expression. And Jerry was all like “leave me alone, I’m trying to sleep here, and I stayed up late because of you”. So yeah, it sure is nice to hear someone openly express joy about seeing her back.

And of course, the Barries just have to ruin it all, don’t they? It’s surprising how open-minded Diana is with parents like these. I mean, I wouldn’t be surprised if she had turned out like Josie. And yet she’s not. How do these things happen?

I see Billy Andrews did not start out much better than he ended up... in contrast to Prissy, who did start out at the very bottom - “Doesn’t she have awful red hair?” Well, to say it in Diana’s tone, she didn’t choose to have red hair, did she? And she’ll try to change it with disastrous results. But there’s time for that. And for Prissy’s great character development.

That scene where Marilla finally apologises to Anne... it was a glimmer of gold in the pitch black atmosphere of this episode. I think Jerry deserves an apology scene at least half as good as this one. And Diana deserves it too, as she didn’t mean to hurt him so bad. The season 3 finale did us dirty in pretending like nothing ever happened between them. But as I said a little while ago, Diana was raised by her parents, so it’s understandable why she acted the way she did. I just think she deserves her character development to be acknowledged by getting a good apology scene with Jerry. We must make that happen. #renewannewithane

Oh, I had forgotten this happened in this episode! But what a beautiful, bright end to a dark and frightful chapter it is... Anne becoming an official Cuthbert. And there are all those little details hinting at the future... the cordial, the pen... my heart is melting.

“Anne Shirley- Cuthbert of Green Gables, nee Halifax” Goodness, Anne, you’re not marrying Green Gables! Speaking of marrying, it’s such a pity we’ll probably never get to see Anne add Blythe to her list of last names. But when that happens, I believe she won’t drop the Shirley- Cuthbert. I mean, it’s so beautifully symbolic. Shirley, her past and origin; Cuthbert, her present and the first real family she’s had (just because her birth parents were robbed of the chance to raise her); and Blythe, her future, her soulmate. Three whole families that she belongs to - the girl who once didn’t have any family but herself. I think that’s beautiful.

To sum up, in this episode we saw: lots of impenetrable darkness, literal and figurative; Matthew nearly getting himself killed while looking for Anne; Marilla nearly falling ill from worrying for both of them; Anne keeping her head up and earning her wages by performing poems and stories at the train station; Matthew calling Anne his daughter for the first time; Jerry’s grounding semi-detached presence amid the drama; Marilla coming to terms with what she did and apologising beautifully; most people of Avonlea not being quite convinced about Anne yet; Anne becoming an official Cuthbert.

#anne with an e #anne with an e season 1 #anne with an e s1 #awae #awae season 1 #awae s1 #renew anne with an e #renew awae #anne shirley cuthbert #matthew cuthbert #marilla cuthbert #jerry baynard #diana barry #jnk watches awae

[salvatoreschool]

Legacies Star Talks Hope's New Ally, Roman's Return and 3 Other Twists

The annual Miss Mystic Falls pageant arrived on Thursday’s Legacies, bringing with it all the requisite drama — and leaving several fan-favorite pairings in serious jeopardy. (Hey, at least no one died this time.)

Lizzie initially had her heart set on Caroline’s former title, but when she discovered that Dana’s mother was one of the judges, she decided — much to Josie’s disappointment — that Hope was her best chance to “stick it to those townies” with a win. (Does anyone else think it’s weird that Lizzie is so anti-townie, considering she was also born and raised in Mystic Falls?) Anyway, Penelope tried to convince Josie to beat Hope, but Josie was too loyal to her sister to mess up her master plan. Furious with Josie for once again putting Lizzie first, Penelope started spilling a bunch of secrets she’s collected as of late… including that she should ask Alaric about “the merge.” Gulp.

But before Penelope left school, breaking Josie’s heart in the process (that L-bomb!), she also revealed to Landon that Hope has been lying about meeting his mother — not that “Lope” needed any more drama this week, what with Roman showing up out of the blue. (Really, Alaric? You couldn’t have hired literally anyone else?) This set off a dramatic chain of events: Landon storming out, Roman filling in as Hope’s escort, Josie calling Lizzie out for being heartless, and even Hope discovering that her dress was picked out by Klaus. The tension culminated in an emotional outburst from Hope, guided by Lizzie, who’s all too familiar with the magical side effects of trauma. Lizzie even made her a deal: “You help me get Josie back, I’ll help you get Landon.”

And speaking of getting Landon, Hope’s angry ex(?)-boyfriend ended the episode in Agent Clark’s custody, delivered by MG’s mom, who’s apparently Clark’s superior. I have to admit, it was a twist I didn’t see coming — mostly because we’d spent most of the episode worrying about the freaking Gorgon skulking around campus and turning people into stone.

Below, Danielle Rose Russell breaks down the episode’s biggest moments with TVLine, including how Roman — despite, you know, his involvement in Hayley’s death — remains a very real threat to Hope and Landon’s relationship…

TVLINE | First of all, congratulations on winning Miss Mystic Falls. How was your brief experience as a pageant girl?

[Laughs] Thanks. It’s definitely something I never want to revisit. We did that whole thing in one day, and by the end, I was just like, “I never want to see this dress again, I never want to hear ‘Miss Mystic Falls’ again, and I never want to be in another pageant.”

Legacies Miss Mystic FallsTVLINE | Was that the actual dress Caroline wore on The Vampire Diaries, or did they design a replica?

It was the actual dress! They got it from the Warner Brothers. archive. But the problem is, the dress was made for Candice [King], who’s about seven inches taller than me. We had to be so specific about how we shot the dress. The costume team and I did hours of fittings, trying to get it OK. For example, we couldn’t shoot it from the side, because I have about four inches of toile alone on the front and back of me. So we could only show it from the front, or else I’d look like the girl from Willy Wonka who turns into a blueberry.

TVLINE | I never thought I’d see Hope and Lizzie getting along so well. Could this be the end of their life-long feud?

You know, it could be. I was also very surprised, because in the beginning of the season, everybody thought Hope and Josie would be the ones becoming friends. I was also surprised by how much Hope and Lizzie have in common, while still being so different. They annoy each other, but they also put up with each other. It’s a fun relationship that I’d like to see explored a little bit more in Season 2.

TVLINE | Then again, I never thought I’d see Hope getting along with Roman either. Were you surprised by her behavior?

Very much so. In my head, I always want Hope to get revenge, but she really has worked so hard [to improve herself]. In the last episode, you saw that even in the middle of a dark, painful moment — seeing Landon dead — she still gave MG her blood. She had a moment of understanding that she doesn’t want to be another vengeful Mikaelson. She wants to be good, and she’s always fighting for that. You could see that Hope had a tough time coming to terms with Roman. There’s a reason why she never talks about it, but I think she has genuinely forgiven him and she’s moving on from that.

TVLINE | I guess when you’re a Mikaelson, you get used to encountering people who have murdered your relatives.

Exactly! It just happens.

TVLINE | We didn’t see Roman leave. Is he sticking around?

You’ll see him again a little bit. That relationship will come to a head, as well.

TVLINE | I get that Landon was insecure, but is there any world in which Hope genuinely sees Roman as a potential love interest?

I don’t know. I go back and forth about it, actually. I always thought the dynamic between Hope, Roman and Landon would be an interesting love triangle. So I do have an idea in my mind of how that would happen, but I’m keeping it to myself in case it does. In Hope’s right mind, I’ll say, there would be no world. But Hope is also not a vampire yet, but she could be. There are many mistakes she could make if things go sour.

TVLINE | Lastly, let’s talk about Penelope, who blew up multiple people’s lives this week. How do you feel about everything she did, and the character in general?

The relationship between Josie and Penelope, to me, has always been fascinating. I’m interested to see the fans’ reaction to Penelope leaving, though I do think that’s sort of the only way that relationship could have gone. In order to give Josie what she deserves, all of this had to happen. So I don’t hate Penelope. I think she was super clever and smart, and I was always interested to see what she would pull out of her hat. She obviously also hurt Landon and Hope’s relationship, but the truth had to come out eventually.

#Legacies #TheOriginals #TheVampireDiaries #TVD #HopeMikaelson #LizzieSaltzman #JosieSaltzman #PenelopePark #Posie #LandonKirby #RomanSienna #CarolineForbes #KlausMikaelson #Klaroline #Hosie #SalvatoreSchool #MissMysticFalls #TheCW #TheSimpleIntimacyOfTheNearTouch

[realmzenith]

elaina ! :)

lays down, mai ily. anyways?? someone pls save elaina she Needs help

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?fairly long?? but not super long it’d make her anxious. maybe twenty minutes. it’d be a different story if it was a life or death thing tho obv

How easy is it for your character to laugh?difficult. from one to ten w one being v easily she’s like a 7. but for full uninhibited laughter it’s a solid 9. she mostly smiles and when she does laugh it’s at the dumbest things

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)she’ll lurk on instagram or think which are honestly both bad ideas for her bc instagram makes her depressed bc her social life sux and thinking makes her depressed bc she’s pessimistic and tends to overthink EVERYTHINg. however sometimes she’ll be smart abt it and read a book or look at plant pics or space which will more often than not successfully allow her to relax and get some shut eye

How easy is it to earn their trust?HM not too difficult prbly a 3 if ur nice to her and ur not a complete idiot- ok well. just if ur nice to her bc she literally falls in love w josie an idiot in her storyline

How easy is it to earn their mistrust?moderately difficult she has a hard time accepting that the ppl she trusts are capable of wronging her and usually assumes it was smth she did. she’s kind of an idiot like that so yk :) she’s prbly a 6 on that one? if we’re also accounting for the ppl she moderately trusts. however if we’re only talking abt the ppl she genuinely completely trusts it’s like an 8. she’s not COMPLETELy stupid but still p stupid abt relationships

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?rules should be followed. she accepts them as a given and that they will be followed as a given. it’ll srsly throw off her game if someone starts blatantly disobeying the law in front of her even if it is just a nominal thing

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?she’s not a v emotional person? she does feel deeply but hmm i suppose she is fairly nostalgic. certain melodies played on the guitar would prbly be one of the bigger triggers. her mom used to play and she and her dad would sing like dorks but they?? kind of dont do it anymore and she misses it but she isn’t sure how to ask to do it again. it’s the same w disney movies. they don’t watch them as a fam as much as they used to anymore but they still do on occasion! as for enjoying it she doesn’t rlly like nostalgia?? but she lets herself fall into it frequently

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child?she was constantly told to talk to the other kids. she’s never been v social or good w ppl as she prefers her small group of ppl she knows and is comfortable w plus she’s an only child so she’s always been forced to socialize esp in casual settings

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?not super frequently. she does say damn bc that’s just the classic xstj swear word, her first she remembers v distinctly. it was “bitch” and completely her older cousin’s fault

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?she lowkey feels like her entire life is a lie? she’s a smart gal and gets good grades easily. she’s close to the top of her class and is considered one of the smart kids. but she herself is convinced she’s painfully mediocre and despite her other talents and unique personality traits she’s like :) im sorry for lying to u all i actually have zero interesting qualities and am a drag but ofc she never voices that bc lbr insecurity? ugly and she doesn’t want to lose the few friends she does have bc she dumped her fears on everyone else. she is, as i said, a Mess

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?she almost always pretends she understands but if she doesn’t feel like there’ll be negative consequences to asking for clarification and she’s feeling confident she’ll bluntly ask the other person to clear things up for her esp in a business type setting such as school projects, etc. it’s situational but socially speaking? she’ll pretend until she Dies

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?ask nico to get it or just struggle for ages to try to get it herself

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?she likes green and black but thinks she looks p drab in most things. in all actuality she prbly does look sharpest in black but yellow makes her look super cute, brings out a softer side of her. dark green is also flattering on her

What animal do they fear most?hm prbly eels esp electric eels. they freak her out for no particular reason. otherwise, she likes most animals and doesn’t mind most bugs

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?she does usually think before she speaks. on the extreme she’ll turn over a phrase abt ten times in her mind before even considering speaking it aloud but that’s rare and only in high stress situations. despite the fact that she does think before she speaks she’s very blunt abt most things. lay it out like it is and all. embellishing sentences or softening her statements is smth she rarely does as she finds it inefficient 

What makes their stomach turn?reckless behavior she HATES when ppl do stupid risky crap in front of her she finds it very unnecessary and anxiety inducing

Are they easily embarrassed?oh yes absolutely

What embarrasses them?everything. anything. her existence. ppl flirting w her. her parents. being teased. being incompetent. being singled out for anything. lots of things :)

What is their favorite number?she likes the number 60. no reason in particular it’s just a nice number. cue her friend, nico in the back yelling SIXTY???? MORE LIKE SEXY

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?oh oof dont talk to her about love it throws her for an existential crisis. hm but if srsly asked this she’d prbly say smth like “familial love is smth we’re rarely allowed to choose. platonic is more logical and circumstantial, and romantic is a combination of the two in the sense that it’s ur heart’s choice to begin and ur mind’s to continue.”

Why do they get up in the morning? society dictates that in order for an individual to contribute meaningfully to the world, you must get up by 7 am and do whatever lot’s been handed to you. thus she, as a good functioning member of society, gets up in the mornings and drives to school day in and day out as fate has dictated her duty to be

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? erratic. she’ll act strangely and become more distant. if it continues for long enough she’ll eventually snap at whoever’s nearest and asking what’s up w her

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? it makes her sad tbh sldkfjlkj she’s like welp.. this is the lot i’ve been given if i don’t accept it that’s my problem. then she keeps her head up and carries on

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? she prefers not to talk abt sex. she’d be v confused if someone brought up the topic of sex casually tho she isn’t SUPER squeamish abt discussing it it’s just?? unprofessional so why would u? ofc w her s/o she would be more than willing to discuss it in order to smooth out questions or misunderstandings before yk. actually. doing the sex

What are their thoughts on marriage? marriage to her is one of the pillars of society, and while she respects people who don’t want to get married, for herself she views it a checkbox on her list of things she needs to do before she dies. it’s?? like she sort of has a timeline and marriage is on the list of things that need to happen sometime in her twenties. she believes marriage should be a mutually beneficial union based on love and respect and believes that along w family units it’s a wonderful invention. however, despite all of this she kind of doubts she’ll ever get married bc she’s like who would date me lbr here :) and while simultaneously seeking after marriage she’s resigned herself to becoming an eventual crazy old cat lady

What is their preferred mode of transportation? she prefers bullet trains. efficient, usually comfortable, she doesn’t have to drive- what more could you want? she’s also fond of walking if a place is close by. helps her chill

What causes them to feel dread? the feeling that a relationship is falling apart and the divide between herself and the other person is growing. the little things like not waiting for the other person after class or “forgetting” to mention another thing about their day- the small things that point to a relationship breaking down. if there’s one thing she hates more than unnecessary conflict and having to just end things then and there it’s watching things slowly fall apart. that is extremely dread inducing in her opinion

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? if u asked her? she’d say she prefers the truth. in reality? she prefers the lie. she internalizes things and oftentimes “unpleasant truths” can weigh her down for ages. frequently enough to note, she’ll allow herself to continue in ignorance rather than accept the reality of the truth which she’ll sort of know she’s doing but just push to the back of her mind in order to avoid the panic that comes with actually confronting the problem. ignorance is bliss and all. nevertheless, in the long run and in hindsight, she prefers the truth as ripping off the bandaid proves easier than pulling out misplaced stitches one by one

Do they usually live up to their own ideals? she doesn’t come close. she has very lofty ideals to which she holds both herself and others around her. she wants to be someone who’s looked up to as strong. she values efficiency, honesty, reliability and genuinely good motives as well as charisma, passion and confidence. she’s doing alright with the first few but the last three are debatable. she’s passionate about v select things and her confidence levels looks like a heartrate monitor

Who do they most regret meeting? herself. she regrets gaining sentience

Who are they the most glad to have met? josie ;) but nico and ale are close seconds

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? nope what’s a Conversation? what’s a Joke? she doesnt know them :)

Could they be considered lazy? that’s a no. she works extremely hard and nearly always carries through. it’s partially her nature and partially a way for her to “make up” for her perceived lack of talents

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? extremely difficult but w time she eventually can esp when given the right type of support

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? that’s. a hard one. she IS technically supportive but that’s only when she recognizes how much the thing means to the other person and she’s honestly rlly bad at reading these kinds of situations, so it’s rare that she actually does. she’ll kinda be like wtf but if she doesn’t recognize the other person is genuinely excited and invested in the thing she’ll do her best to give her own brand of awkward support 

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?she’ll pursue a romantic interest if enough proof that it’s plausible is given but it’s rare that she gets enough “proof” for this to happen. generally speaking, she kind of pushes her desire for romance down. she’ll worry abt it later or at least until josie shows up eyes emoji

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? not rlly? she’ll just go thru things multiple times she’s not the most innovative person when it comes to things like this. route memorization is her go to 

What memory do they revisit the most often?;) depends on where in the storyline we’re talking but post story defo the time when she and josie went hiking w some of their other friends and when they reached the summit of the mountain the clouds were beneath the peak n completely coating the sky. it looked like a carpet of clouds, like another world and they shared a bit of a Moment. the little things are what elaina rlly cherishes

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people?difficult she’s a bit of a critical person. she’s also not the most tactful when it comes to emotional intelligence related situations so ppl will likely find out she does see those flaws in them if they stick around long enough

How sensitive are they to their own flaws?not SO much but she does take things to heart. she’s sort of?? accepted her perceived mediocrity and general dullness but she’s in no way ceasing to attempt to change other things abt herself. so she’ll seemingly take criticisms in stride but they’ll stick w her when she’s Overthinking

How do they feel about children? kids are? good? she likes kids. as for having them, she’s considered it some and she thinks she might like to. at the same time, she also thinks she’d make a terrible parent- too harsh, bad w comfort, easily stressed. in all reality, she’d be better than most ppl as one esp after gaining a bit of confidence

How badly do they want to reach their end goal? rn the goal is graduating and she wants that fairly badly but she doesn’t particularly doubt her ability to achieve it. after that, it’s getting a good job which she also doesn’t overtly doubt as a certainty so yes she does want it but it’s not?? SUPEr concerning except when she begins to doubt her abilities and if she’ll ever feel like her life is fulfilling 

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? she’s lesbian. she’d say it means she’s attracted to women 

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character?baby. she’s gonna find loveB) What inspired you to create them?love, simon! i wanted to write a cute lesbian high school romance so thus josie and elaina were bornC) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?nope!D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?nope again! she used to be full korean but now she’s half korean and half scandinavian! i think she used to be taller too she’s 5′5″ nowE) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?there are some aspects of each other that would get on the other’s nerves. like i dont think she’d appreciate the wonky outbursts i sometimes have and i’d get annoyed by her lack of social tact/annoyance at the world even tho i lowkey share those traits but otherwise i think we’d get along p well! i think i’d find her cute and i think she’d like my perceived confidence. we share a similar rationality as wellF) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?empathy she’s a big mood tbh and also i want her to be happy G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?her lack of emotional intelligence. while i like blunt and logic oriented ppl it’d get slightly frustrating after a while to be around someone who’s a lil oblivious to social/emotional cues even if that’s a moodH) What trait do you admire most?her humble diligence. i have to complain twice as much as her to get half the things she gets done doneI) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?i think she’d ALSO do great in a sci fi universe. ha maybe i need to give these kids a sci fi au verseJ) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?not rlly no!

#defenestrata #SFsldkjflskfj GOSH she sounds so depressing in this #i swear she's actually not this depressing #usually #i mean she's just got low self esteem ?? #anyways i lov mai thanks for comign to my ted talk #elaina #triad #my ocs

[edwardspiano-blog1]

Coward | A.A.|

Summary: Archie Andrews doesn’t know how to cope with his feelings for the reader. He thinks insulting her and mocking her is the best way to cope.

Warnings: Swearing, slight bullying (name calling, sassy remarks etc.) Angsty Archie fic.

Okay guys this is my very first imagine I’ve ever written, so please don’t judge, well I mean please give me feedback so I can better myself and my writing, enjoy!

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Archie Andrews was god like to most girls. He was handsome, charming, funny, plus he could sing and play the guitar, a total catch, right? No. Looks can be deceiving.

“Why do you always slither your way into our conversations,Y/N?” Archie commented, sticking a fry into his mouth. Y/N rolled her eyes, her arms crossing over her chest. “Why must you always open your mouth?” Y/N said with a shrug of her shoulders. Jughead uncomfortably shifted in his side of the booth, sat in the middle of Veronica and Betty. “Why is it always a knife fight when you two open your mouth?” Jug commented, silencing both Archie and Y/N. 

Archie rolled his eyes, his jaw clenched as he stared out the window of Pops. “It’s not my fault she wormed herself into the core four.” Archie snarled softly, his lips turning upwards into a smug smirk. Y/N bit her lip as she ignored the auburn haired teen. “Archie, shut up for once.” Ronnie snapped, her teeth gritted as she flicked a fry towards Archie. 

“Make me Lodge, it’s not like you care.” Archie commented as he grabbed a bunch of fries in his palm, throwing them at the dark haired girl. “Arch, I high suggest you stop before this gets ugly.” Veronica warned, brushing off the salt from the fries off of her dress and table. “What is wrong with you Archie?! You’re such a asshole to everybody for no reason!” Y/N said, her tone raising a bit in volume. “Oh shut it, Y/N. It’s not like anyone actually wants you here, you’re only here because no one has the heart to tell you that you’re not wanted here. You wormed your way into our little town like a serpent, do us, wait no me a favor and leave.” Archie yelled, his words sharper than knives, more poisonous than venom. The table went silent, the only sounds were Archie’s heavy breathing. All eyes were on Y/N’s face, all scanning for some kind of reaction, but there wasn’t, only a blank stare. 

Y/N swallowed thickly before nodding, quietly getting up from the table, leaving the diner without another word. Archie had confirmed her most silent fears, hell even a few more fears while he was at it. Jug, Betty, Ronnie, Kevin, Even Josie tried to get a hold of you, but it was useless. Archie’s words has made you spiral down a hole of insecurities that you were unsure if you would ever come out of. They’d seen you in the hallway, alone and quiet. Archie had completely thrown you out of wack. Ronnie was the first one to physically go up to you and ask you what was your problem. Were they really that blind? Did they just zone out during the entire rant he went on? 

“I can’t..Ronnie, I’m sorry.” You told her, walking away despite her calls for you to come back. You’d see Archie in the hallways laughing with the football team, yet once you two would lock eyes, his smile would fade into a guilty frown and he would always to try approach you, but you were quick and you were able to escape up the stairs before he could catch up to you. 

After school one day, you hesitantly decided to go to pops to grab a quick meal. You had homework to do later, so you couldn’t stay and eat long. You ordered a burger and fries, and while you ate, you decided to pull your homework out of your black and red backpack, doing the first couple of questions. You were so focused on your homework you hadn’t noticed the doors to pops open and a tall figure stand in front of your table until the figure sat in front of you. You knew it was Archie when you breathed in the familiar scent of scent of cotton and a unknown cologne he was obsessed with. “Y/N we need to talk.” Archie said softly, the softest tone you’ve heard him speak ever. “What’s there to talk about Archie? You wanted me gone and you got what you wanted, I don’t see why you want to talk.” You said with a soft sigh, your eyes hesitantly meeting Archie’s.

“Okay Y/N, Listen to me please. Yes, I said some pretty bad things the other day but I didn’t mean any of them. The group loves you, they aren’t the same without you. You didn’t worm your way into anything and you’re no serpent because serpents usually don’t look as beautiful as you do but I’m so so sorry for hurting you the way I did, I don’t know why I said the things I said, You’re just so..so amazing I guess my brain couldn’t handle someone like you, please come back, we need you, Y/N.” Archie said, and by the end his eyes were slightly glossy. “Arch..” Y/N started, but she wasn’t allowed to finished because she felt a pair of lips cut her off before she even started. 

She kissed back softly, his lips tasting of honey and mint, a odd but satisfying taste she could definitely get used to. “Come back?” He whispered as he pulled away. “You confuse me Andrews, but if you keep using your lips like that, How can I say no?” Y/N said with a smile. 

#archie andrews #riverdale #jughead jones #veronica lodge #betty cooper #reggie mantle #jason blossom #angsty #archiexreader #riverdale imagines #sorrythisismyfirstimagine

[venusianxs]

Similar, but make it Different. But still Similar

The creak of the wooden panel was loud, but did not disturb the ambiance of the home, especially not with Eat Bulaga showing on the TV screen. Its rays bathed the cold cement walls and flooring with multicolored light, as colorful as the pillows on the bed that’s facing it. Well, not a single bed, or even a huge bed, but rather multiple cushions pushed together to form one a-little-bit-bigger-than-King-sized bed. Surveying the home, there’s a small kitchen behind the television and a set of cement staircase that leads up to another room.

Two tiny pairs of eyes peer up at me and my partner, new, unfamiliar faces entering their humble abode.  Their heads turn to the side, as do mine, mirroring their antics. Observing everything gave me flashbacks to a part of my childhood, when I used to live with my grandmother when the rest (parents and brother) moved to the province. I remember saying yes anyway, despite not fully understanding the implications of “leaving me here with lola for a while,” and by a while they mean until I finish the first grade. So I spent my time going to school via school bus and having class in the morning, and in the afternoon I played with the other kids outside. I never really realized our financial status until later in life when I started to become more aware of social structures and hierarchies.

My mother’s side never had a lot of money, only enough for them to live a simple life. I never associated extravagance or luxury to that side of my family, which is pretty dichotomous to my dad’s side of the family. I made this connection when I compared the living conditions of my grandparents on both sides. Due to this, I’ve been aware of two different kinds of living situations and I was never blinded to the fact that some are less fortunate than others. This became increasingly apparent to me the more  my family’s living conditions improved as the years went by, and the more I started asking for stuff I wanted, and when I got my first iPhone and started comparing everyone to myself like the insecure teenager that I became to be.

Walking slowly to put my bags down, I try to start interaction with the children.  Their gazes linger on my face whenever I try to initiate contact, apprehensive with my presence. All the while the sound of laughter can be heard in the background, and in my mind I thought to myself that I want to try and get close to these children and make the most out of my stay here. I can also hear the soft chatter of my partner talking to the woman of the foster family we were assigned to, one ear listening in and the other paying attention to the two children. They were starting to warm up to me despite being uneasy with me at first.

Going to GK Central, and to the home assigned to me did not only bring me feelings of familiarity, but also foreign ones. The sense of community I got from hearing their story reminded me of my community back in Bayanan, the town my lola lives and where I lived for a while as well. The way the houses are constructed also invoked familiar feelings too. However, this was still a totally new experience to me. Meeting and spending time the woman that accommodated us into our home was a whole experience in and of itself. She’s a quiet woman, she wouldn’t really say anything unless we asked or talked to her. Her reception was warm and I certainly believe she’s more of an action-based person. Watching her navigate through her day and talking to her about her life is something that stuck with me, for the mundanity of it all made me see even more clearly that these people are just trying to get by life like everyone else, only with different circumstances.

Bonding with the children took most of my energy, but it’s very fulfilling.  Now my partner and I are helping them set up a small booth outside that sells kwek-kwek and buko pandan. It was scorchingly hot, yet the children continued to play around. Their dynamic reminds me of me and my brother, whenever the older sister would push around the younger brother.  Ate Josie and her daughters laughed and told us that she always pinches and terrorizes her brother but the young boy fights back. I laugh with them because that sounds exactly like me and my brother from when we were younger.

Looking back, no matter how similar my experience in GK Central may be to parts of my life and how I was raised, there’s no denying that they’re still completely different from one another. Unlike them, I don’t live with my lola anymore. I live inside a fairly large house, and sleep in my own bed. I don’t set up shop in my village to sell kwek-kwek, and I hardly know anyone in my village either. It’s similar to some aspects of my life but both me and Ate Josie know that we’re different and we have different experiences as people. Hell, we’re probably walking towards different directions as we speak, with different goals and aspirations in our hearts.

And even so, I can still relate with her and her children. Even if I don’t fully understand them and their struggles, I can empathize and listen.

With the recent conclusion to the elections, I can’t help but think back to those living in the community. With the people in the senate right now, the laws that they will pass will certainly affect them more than me. Because I do admit that I’m up on a hill. But that doesn’t mean I can just stay up here. Even if Ate Josie and her family and I are inherently different, I’m sure that we all want the best for everyone in this country. That I can say with complete certainty, and with this experience, it makes me want to fight for the right thing even more.

Standing under an umbrella as Ate Josie fries the kwek-kwek, her daughters mixing the batter and her grandchildren trying to push each other on the ground, fills me with a sense of tranquility. I don’t know if it’s just uncharacteristically quiet in the city right now or the great placement of the community, but seeing them live out their day like this is nostalgic and fills me with a sense of purpose.  I was apprehensive at the BINHI program at first, but I’m happy I have this memory to take home with me because of it.

I want to work towards my dream with this memory and these people I’ve met in mind, and hopefully new ones in the future to fuel me to make this country better, especially with what has happened to communities like theirs and what might happen in the years to come.

Because I’m not only working towards my dream for myself, but for others as well.

#BINHI #down the hill

[ghoulishlylopez]

HOLY SHIT IS THAT [ EMMERAUDE TOUBIA ]?! Oh, wait it’s just [ JOSEPHINE LOPEZ ]. Damn, [ SHE/HER ] looks good for [ 27 ], good thing that they’re [ BISEXUAL ], I might have a chance. I hear that they call them the [ FALLEN ANGEL ] of the [ SOUTH SIDE ]. I guess that’s because they’re [ CYNICAL ] and [ IMPATIENT ]. But I don’t think a lot of people know that they’re also [ COURAGEOUS ] and [ LOYAL ].

01.  BASICS

Full Name: Josephine Reina Lopez

Nickname: Fi, Jo, Josie, Rey

Sex/Gender: Female

Birthday: May 17

Age: 27

Astrological Sign: Taurus

Occupation: owner of Off the Hook boxing gym; mechanic at Triton Automotive ( a garage that services both cars and motorcycles )

Spoken Languages: English, Spanish, American Sign Language

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Romantic Orientation: Heteroromantic

Hometown/Raised In: Greendale, MA

Relationship status: Separated

02. PHYSICAL TRAITS

Hair Color/Style: black; usually she wears her hair in a high ponytail, but she also wears it down often

Eye Color: dark brown

Face Claim: Emmeraude Toubia

Height: 5′4″ or 163 cm

Weight: 124 lb or 56 kg

Tattoos: coming soon

Piercings: ears twice, right nostril

Unique Attributes: --

Defining Gestures/Movements: N/A

Posture: --

03. PERSONALITY TRAITS

Pet Peeves: stupidity, ignorance, obnoxious arrogance, people who whine and complain a lot

Hobbies/Interests: dancing, cars, boxing/fighting, running, hiking, drinking, reading, drawing, swimming

Special Skills/Abilities: martial arts, boxing, mechanics (automotive and motorcycle)

Likes: singing, fighting, sex, reading, drawing, watching films

Dislikes: ignorance, unwarranted cruelty, whiners, smoking

Insecurities: coming soon

Quirks/Eccentricities: coming soon

Strengths: combat skills, mechanical knowledge

Weaknesses: allowing herself to be vulnerable, temper, trusting people who aren’t family or the Ghoulies

Speaking Style: well spoken, wordy at times

Temperament: Calm and charismatic on the outside for the most part, though she does lose her temper over things she considers wrong

04. FAMILY & HOME

Immediate Family: coming soon

How do they feel about their family? coming soon

How does her family feel about her? coming soon

Pets: coming soon

Where do they live? Southside

Description of their home: A small, three bedroom apartment

Description of their bedroom: queen sized bed; shades of black and grey on the bedding, two matching pillows on the bed; entertainment stand across from her bed with a second television, a small bookshelf in the corner near her window

05. THIS OR THAT

Introvert or Extrovert? A mixture of both, but more extrovert

Optimist or Pessimist? Pessimist

Leader or Follower? Leader

Confident or Self-Conscious? A little bit of both, depending on the situation

Cautious or Careless? Neither really; kind of a middle ground of sorts

Religious or Secular? Religious, but doesn’t practice; Anglican Catholic

Passionate or Apathetic? A bit of both, depending on the situation

Book Smarts or Street Smarts? More street than book, but both

Compliments or Insults? Depends on who she’s talking to

Pajamas or Lingerie? In her underwear generally

06. FAVORITES

Favorite Color: Deep, forest green

Favorite Clothing Style/Outfit: Whatever she’s comfortable in, though most of her clothes are form fitting.

Favorite Bands/Songs/Type of Music: Classic rock, country, alternative, varies

Favorite Movies: Way too many to choose from; she’s a fan of horror, comedy, thriller, action, psychological thriller, slasher, etc. She likes a wide array.

Favorite Authors: Stephen King, Dan Brown, L.J. Smith, Cassandra Clare, Ransom Riggs, Rick Riordan; guilty pleasure authors would be Nora Roberts and Danielle Steele

Favorite Foods/Drinks: Coffee, tea, pasta, steak, pastries, strawberries

Favorite Sports/Sports Teams: football, soccer, boxing, swimming, ice hockey, volleyball

Favorite Time of Day: sunrise

Favorite Weather/Season: fall

Favorite Animal: wolves; specifically, arctic wolf

07. MISCELLANEOUS

Fears/Superstitions: fear coming soon Friday the 17th – she stays inside and keeps to herself; the number itself tends to be an omen of death. Malocchio – the evil eye; this is the belief that a look of jealousy can bring the person it’s aimed at pain (often physical). Seeing an empty hearse – this is thought to be a sign of your own impending death. Various other cultural superstitions.

Political Views: very liberal

Addictions: sex, coffee, desserts/food in general

Best School Subject: auto mechanics & astronomy

Worst School Subject: mathematics

School Clubs/Sports: track

How does she get money? she owns a boxing gym and also works in an auto shop

How is she with technology? Very adept

08. PAST & FUTURE

Fondest Memory: coming soon

Deepest, Darkest Secret: secret about her family and child here

Dream Vacation: coming soon

Best thing that has ever happened to this character: coming soon

Worst thing that has ever happened to this character: coming soon

What do they want to be when they grow up? she’s a fully grown adult, but she’s doing what she wants to with her life

Perfect Date: something simple; a dinner where they can get to know one another or some kind of fun activity like a trivia night, an escape room, paintball, or something

09. HEADCANONS

family and biography headcanons coming soon

#{ abt . jo } #gdhqintro #{ still under construction }

[cassandrapentayaaaaas]

Male Trevelyan Compilation (with backstories)

*whips out the wallet which I keep specifically for pictures of my fictional children* good afternoon I have so much to say about my babies

(also- if y'all ever want to share your inquisitors with me like literally at any point ever my sub and ask boxes are always open for cute BioWare-rendered faces <3). These are characters we’ve poured time and effort into, and they are absolutely worth sharing.

Benjamin (Ben) Trevelyan: 30/Warrior/Non-Beliver/Bisexual/Pro-Templar (he’s the newest baby) 

Ben’s motto is “do it now, ask questions later.” Honestly, he’s a lot like Cassandra, minus the whole “devoted to the Maker” thing. He believes firmly in “right” and “wrong,” but he’s willing to learn. If he looks tired, it’s because he is. He didn’t want this job; he was at the Conclave to escort some of the mages who made up a distant part of his family, and now they’re all gone.

He’s built like a monster truck -Varric calls him “Muscles”- he can give Bull a run for his money where drinking is concerned, and really just wants to go home to Ostwick where his family, fiancée, and mabari are (there’s no way he’s uprooting them to bring them to Skyhold). He’s not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, but his gut feelings are almost always right. He’s learned to go with it. He’s strikingly kind and loves very deeply. He’s a good man.

Friedrich (Fritz) Trevelyan: 38/Rogue/Questioning Belief/Gray-Asexual/Pro-Mage (I definitely have a crush on this hairy man)

Fritz used to be a Chantry scholar and historian (imagine Bram Kenric, but but less about the Inquisition and more about holy relics, texts, and figures). He’s also studied the history of magic. He was excellent at his job and he’s terribly intelligent, but he flaunts neither of those factors. He’s truly a very quiet man, until you come to him with a question or a topic to discuss. When you do, he’s wonderfully patient, attentive, and never condescending -three of the many factors that make him Dorian’s favorite pal. (He’s also my first inquisitor to personally drink from the Well of Sorrows ‘cause he’s a big ‘ole nerd that wants to know everything).

Varric calls him “Doc,” because of his former profession, and to be honest, he wasn’t much of a fighter until the world called on him to become its leader. In fact, he’d never even picked up an object with the intention of making it weapon until he was 24; someone broke into his rooms at the university to steal an artifact he was examining and they were ready to kill him for it. He fought back with a letter opener, and won. 

About 5 years after that incident, he fell in love with a very sweet chantry sister. She fell ill very suddenly, and the local mother opted for prayer over a healer. It didn’t end well for Fritz’s girl, and he felt utterly betrayed by the Maker. He lost his faith for quite a while afterwards, but Cassandra has done a good job of reminding him why he believed in the first place. 

Fritz’s sexuality is really hard to pin down, but he finds he’s most comfortable identifying as gray-a. He’s pretty head-over-heals for the Seeker. She’s really fond of him, too, but they haven’t quite gotten around to discussing where things are going. Their flirting is the shy, gentle, complementary type, and it makes my heart happy just thinking about it.

Dennon Trevelyan: 34/Rogue/Andrastian/Bisexual/Undecided

Dennon (or “Stubble,” if you’re Varric and can get away with it) is a hard man. He’s the middle Trevelyan boy (out of three), and he’s always had to fight for what he’s been given. He’s not an intentionally cruel person, he just genuinely doesn't think feelings are a thing that should be taken into consideration when conducting business, and his business is now the Inquisition. 

While his directness (or bluntness, if you prefer) has made him rather popular with Cassandra, Cullen, and Vivienne, it’s made keeping alliances a risky business. Josephine has spent many hours attempting to help him navigate the art of subtlety, and every time she winces at his sharper edges, it dulls him down a little more... and to be honest, he’s liking the results (and Josie) a lot.

Maddox Trevelyan: 28/Mage/Agnostic/Homosexual/Pro-Mage

Maddox is constantly on the move. This is his first time out of the Circle, and he’ll be damned before he’ll waste it on idleness. He knows what duty is -the number of responsibilities they heaped upon mages in the Circle taught him that- and the members of the Inquisition are constantly amazed at how he’s able to fulfill all of his duties to the utmost, with time left over to explore.

Honestly, Maddox is an adventurer. There’s nothing he likes better than the rush of seeing or doing something new. If he’s not scaling a mountain, he’s diving head-first into the Waking Sea, or considering joining an Avvar hold. Dorian has done wonders to keep him grounded, when need be; Maddox is a dreamer and his amatus, on the other hand, is a dreamy pragmatist. ;)

Maddox (or Blue Eyes, as Varric calls him) is entirely anti-circle, but he’s still somehow managed to win Vivienne over. In fact, there’s no one within the inner circle who isn’t utterly pleased when he’s around. He’s simply a contagious personality, and he is deeply loved.

Abelard (Abe) Trevelyan 42/Rogue/Andrastian/Heterosexual/Undecided (I’m almost as in love with him as I am with Cassandra)

Abe looks like the kind of guy who would beat the snot out of you for looking at him funny, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Varric has even nicknamed him “Grizzly” just for the irony of the implication. He’s wickedly intelligent and he’s the biggest, softest teddy bear this side of Lake Calenhad. He just doesn’t smile much, anymore.

He lost his wife and daughter about two years before the Inquisition began, and he’s still trying to work through it. He’d turned his back on the Trevelyan family’s money to marry a girl who was below his station. They needed cash, so he had to work. He became part of a crew that was sent to ransom and return captives and slaves taken from the Marches and Ferelden to Tevinter, mostly. While he was away on a mission, raiders sacked his tiny village and killed everyone who looked too weak to turn a profit in the slave market. That meant most of the populace, since two harvests in a row had failed and most people were malnourished.

He’s a quiet man, but his actions speak very loudly. He’ll do anything for anyone, so long as he knows them to be good, and it took the inquisition two extra weeks to get out of the Hinterlands because Abe couldn’t leave the refugees “like this.” He even helped to design and construct the area’s first school house, which now bears his family’s name -a fact he will no doubt blush at, if you mention it.

He really likes Cassandra, and she really likes him, but they’re both grieving (Regalyan’s loss is still fresh). For now, the find comfort in their friendship. Neither one wants to push while they’re unready. She is the one who gets him to smile the most often, though.

Peter Trevelyan 22/Mage/Questioning Belief/Pansexual/Pro-Templar

Peter is usually a little shit, and that’s why I love him. He’s always pulling someone’s leg, and Sera often comes to him for prank ideas –though he never lets her pull one off without him at her side. He’s terribly sweet, and his brand of humor permeates nearly every sentence he speaks. He may be a prankster and an utter clown, but he’s wonderfully fierce and has this innate need to protect everyone.

Before his magic manifested, he wanted to become a Templar. Once he discovered he was a mage, he had to battle a lot of self-loathing as well as some serious self doubt. He saw his magic as a flaw and a weakness, and he clung to his idols, the Templars, upon arrival at the Circle (he was only 12 and they just took him away from everything he knew and loved someone please give my poor baby a hug D,:). He sees the value of the Circle because that’s where he was trained to master the parts of himself he came to hate and fear most. It’s been a slow road to go, but in being around apostates and liberated mages like Dorian, Morrigan, and Solas, he’s learning to see mages (including himself) as people and not as wrong, ill-formed things.

He copes with his own insecurities through self-deprecation and near constant levity. He’s still consistently unsure of himself, and his opinion of his own worth is still relatively low, but his dedication to bettering himself and the world around him is admired by all. Honestly, he’s so good to everyone. I love this boy so much.

Michael Trevelyan 26/Mage/Passively Andrastian/Bisexual/Pro-Vivienne-Style-Mage(so... Pro-Templar?)

Right now, Michael is an asshole, but I love getting to know him. He’s the only son of Bann Trevelyan’s four children, and even though he’s a mage, he’ll inherit the better part of his parent’s estate. He’s been treated like a prince since he was born, and it’s made him horribly self-serving. He thinks he’s the cream of the crop, and advice is the one thing he never takes. But, underneath his haughty exterior lies a true idealist with an amazing work ethic.

His air of superiority often leads people to assume he’s lazy. In actuality, he’s amazing at spotting potential and talent in others, which makes him skilled in delegation. He also does his own work at breakneck speeds. Michael won’t tolerate being hindered in the process of achieving his goals by anyone or anything, and he always does whatever is necessary to see that his ends met.

He hasn’t made many friends in the Inquisition, so far, but he hasn’t even gotten out of Haven yet, so we’ll see. Honestly, he’s not currently someone I’d want to spend much time with, but he’s quite handsome, and I want to see his character develop.

Caleb Trevelyan 15/Warrior(Mage)/Questioning Belief/Heterosexual/Undecided

This is my favorite child, and the first Inquisitor who I actually spent time crafting a personality for. I don’t want to get too into his backstory, because he is a large part of a fic which I wILL DEFINITELY WRITE SOMEDAY WHEN I HAVE TALENT TO DO IT JUSTICE. But he is so incredibly driven. He has such a desire for justice, and he learns like it’s no one’s business.

Everyone loves this kid, but he’s got such a self-sacrificial nature that they all have to stay a little more on their guard with him than any normal warrior, because he will literally bury himself in enemies to keep his friends safe. He has so much potential, and everyone is happy to help him reach it in whatever way they can. Ugh. He’s such a little cutie.

#pentayaaaaas oc #pentayaaaaas trevs #dragon age inquisition #dragon age: inquisition #inquisitor trevelyan #oc trevelyan

[jatpfanblog]

Josie and the Pussycats (2016) #5: Review/Spoilers/Analysis

Summary: Josie and the Pussycats have the chance of a lifetime - playing an opening gig for country superstar Cheri Overwood! But when a child singer’s performance catches Cheri’s eye, Cheri postpones the Pussycats’ act. Josie swears vengeance! Valerie can’t believe this is happening! Melody doesn’t know what is going on! Valerie leaves Josie to her scheming and goes off with Melody, questioning why she is a Pussycat in the first place...

I tried to make a non-spoilery review, but it’s difficult to talk about this issue without talking about its spoilers and how it connects with the other issues. Like issue #3, this issue got me right in the feels. While the premise is ridiculous and had a lot of potential for laughs (Josie v. an innocent child star), it turned into something that was heartfelt and worked as a touching summary of what Josie has learned through in these first five issues.

The real meat of the issue is Valerie and Melody’s talk about what Valerie wants in life. Josie had to learn her lesson over and over again in the past issues, and just as it seemed that the lesson finally clicked, Josie reverts back to her old ways. Valerie tells Josie she has had enough with trying to teach Josie the right way to act and stalks off wondering why she is still part of the band. At first it appears she is angry that Josie never listens to her, but the ensuing talk with Melody reveals that Valerie has a lot of deeply buried insecurities which have been brought up to the surface while with the band.

Valerie tells Melody that while she is “making speeches“ to Josie to try to fix her behavior, her own insecurities freeze her from taking any sort of action to make her own dreams come true.

Valerie reveals that as a child (as we saw in issue #1), she was loud and confident, but “one bad night” silenced her voice and crushed her dreams of singing. In a way, she feels like Josie is living her dream for her while she is too frightened of messing up...or not.

This is my favorite scene. Feeling lost in life; having a dream but being too afraid of taking any action; being too afraid that you’ll get what you want, but it’s not what you really need; this is the classic sign of of an over-thinker who paralyzes themselves into a kind of “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” mentality. Valerie is extremely intelligent, and people who are intelligent tend to over-think things and worry about things that other people don’t. It’s a really good weakness to give Valerie, and one that be could easily given to the Valerie in the original comics and cartoons as well.

What makes this even better is that she’s speaking to Melody about all these deep feelings. My favorite thing about Melody from the original comics was that while she was a naive and “dumb” about most things in life, the things that mattered, like love and friendship, she was really intelligent about (perhaps she was the most emotionally-intelligent character?).

Melody sees things simply; she lives life without worrying about how she will be perceived by people, her future, sounding silly, and basically everything else the other characters worry about. In this comic, she is pretty much the same (except she makes a lot of outdated and current pop references). So while Valerie is pouring her soul out, Melody does her best to encourage her by gently guiding the conversation so Valerie could come to her own conclusions about what she really wants in life. Valerie is clearly worried about her future, but Melody isn’t worried about her or Valerie’s futures. She basically guides the conversation to the NOW instead of the FUTURE, bringing back Valerie’s mind stuck in the future back to the present where she realizes she joined the Pussycats because, for now, she has found that voice that she had lost long ago.

On a side-note.....

Uh-oh, what is going on here...? ;o (Am I imagining this? If not, there go my Melody/Alexandra dreams lol....sob....)

MEANWHILE,

Josie is once again learning her lesson all over again. She is so focused on herself, her own dreams, that she is willing to crush the dreams of a rising child singer just because she was the cause of Josie’s big break being delayed.

Of course, it turned out that the only secret this child hiding was that......she is a huge Josie and the Pussycats fan.

And here we get to the meat of Josie’s part in this story. Alan tells Josie that she is basically being a brat/diva and she needs to grow-up.

This seems to strike a nerve with Josie....but nope she marches onto the stage where the child star is and demands that she steps down so her band can play like they were suppose to. Valerie and Melody return in time to try to stop her, but someone else finally snaps Josie out of it - the child star. The girl gushes over Josie and tells her how her family helped her with her dream to become a star like Josie. Josie FINALLY realizes that Melody and Val are her own supportive family who have helped her grow.

Josie tells the girl that she can’t wait to become the girl’s biggest fan (awww) and Cheri Overwood suggests that they all record a song together. While everyone celebrates, Josie literally looks back on her life and where she began on her journey as a person.

(I CRIED OKAY??? I CRIED. I’m a huge sucker for scenes like this where the character talks to their younger self.)

It’s a really nice wrap-up to this first arc. And the books ends with....WOAH WAIT!! Police cars?!?! And who steps out from one but....

...ALEXANDER! THERE YOU ARE! And he brings a plot twist...

So the notebook’s contents are finally revealed. I honestly thought the notebook was full of Josie’s thoughts about how she was going to be a star no matter what and step on everyone who got in her way. So perhaps the ‘Josie’ written on the cover was Alexandra’s handwriting? Like she wrote the lyrics and gave them to Josie as a present? Or did Josie write them all down and gave credit to Alexandra? Or is this one of Alexandra’s classic tricks? I guess we’ll find out in the next issue. :)

(On a side-note...Alexander helping his sister? This is new...unless he is getting something out of this from her. But PLEASE don’t turn them into the Blossom twins where they’re really close...like really, really, really close.....ew...)

Overall Review

This issue is an excellent closure to the Josie-focused arc in these past five issues. It also introduces what the next arc might be about. I’m looking forward to reading about Valerie figuring out her place in the world and what makes her happy, and more Josie and Alexandra drama. I wouldn’t begin with this issue and if you haven’t read issue #3 especially, I would hold off on reading this one until you do.

I cannot say enough good things about the art as well. I love how the panels were placed too. The running jokes of someone telling Josie off, Josie looking like it hurt her/she understood and then in the next panel revealing that what was said to her made no impact at all never failed to make me laugh. The emotional story and dialogue was perfectly paneled and drawn that it added so much. Like, bravo, Audrey Mok, seriously.

When the collected volume comes out, I highly recommend getting it. Reading all the issues together and then reading this issue, it really is an emotional ride...one that I hope lasts longer than the many other Josie projects after the original run.

#Josie and the Pussycats #Archie Comics #Audrey Mok #marguerite bennett #cameron deordio #bravo guys thank you #comic #comic book #review #comic book review #comic review

[anavoliselenu]

Driven chapter 5

“C’mon,” he teases, taking step closer to me. “You walked right into that one. I couldn’t resist.”

I know the feeling. I just stare at him, shaking my head. “Okay,” I concede. “I’m going to pretend that you didn’t just say that. But seriously, why don’t you do the girlfriend thing?”

He shrugs casually. “Not my thing. I don’t like strings attaching me to anything with permanence. Relationships equal drama.”

A guy with commitment issues, like that’s something new.

“So I was right?” I mutter more to myself than to him, astounded at his brutal honesty.

“About what?” He asks angling his head to the side as he approaches me slowly. My heart beats faster for the tone of his voice and the aura emanating from him has changed. I can sense raw desire as he nears. The danger. My body clenches in anticipation while my brain tells me to retreat quickly.

“What I told you on Saturday—you do like to just fuck ’em and chuck ’em.” My voice is quiet for the temerity behind my words has faded with every step closer he gets to me.

“I told you once I don’t take kindly to insults. You just did it again. For that alone you deserve to be taken over my knee,” his voice rings low with the unexpected threat that has my thighs clenching in expectant desire, and I’m not a girl into that type of thing. And yet that type of thing with Justin, his hands on me, possessing me, pushing me to ride that fine line bordering between pleasure and pain—arouses me beyond coherence.

I part my lips as he comes within inches of mine. My body is attuned to him. His scent. The intake of his breath. My back arches in reflex as he lifts a hand to my cheek. “It sucks, doesn’t it?” he asks as he trails a finger along my jaw line, stopping, then brushing against my bottom lip.

“What does?” I sigh softly as his finger leaves my skin.

“When you have to stick to your guns out of principal rather than giving into the temptation right in front of you,” he whispers, turning the tables on me. “There is no shame, Selena, in letting your body have what it craves.”

We stand, inches from each other, letting the weight of his words settle in my psyche. I know he is right. My body’s deepening ache tells me so. That I want exactly what he is offering.

“It’s hard to deny it, sweetheart, when it’s written all over your body.”

I jerk back from him as if I’ve been bitten. His words fuel my ire and irritate me all at once. “No! I—”

“Shhh,” he murmurs stepping back toward me, pressing a finger to my lips, his eyes ablaze with salacious intensity. “Just know, Selena, the best sex you will ever have … will be with me.” He says in a low, hypnotizing voice that seems to knock all of the air from my lungs and reason from my usually sensible head.

I jump back, needing space from his carnal words and unending arrogance. He’s so forward, so cocksure it’s almost unattractive. Almost. The man can definitely talk a good game. Too bad I’ll never know if it’s true or not, if for no other reason than to give his oversized ego a lesson.

“I’ll comply with the damn agreement, Justin.” I huff out. “For my boys. For the many kids to come.” I stalk toward the table, to collect my things. “Not for you. Or your stupid machinations behind it.” I square the papers up rather forcefully on the table, the paper hitting wood the only sound in the room. I look up, my steely eyes pinning his. “I will not sleep with you, Ace.”

“Yes, you will.” He smiles smugly at me.

Despite the vicious bang his words spark between my legs, I manage a single laugh. “Don’t even think for a single minute—”

“Justin!” A sexy voice purrs at the door to the conference room, interrupting me midsentence.

I snap my head up to see the svelte Bailey, smiling seductively, all wide eyes and batting eyelashes. The insecurities I have with regard to my sensuality rise to the surface as I swallow loudly, looking to see Justin’s reaction. My eyes meet his quickly because despite the interruption, his eyes have never left mine. I am unsure what to make of this. He purses his lips, the unresolved issues left between us hanging in the silence.

All of the sudden, I’m not feeling well and want desperately to escape from this room. From this man. From witnessing the familiarity between Bailey and Justin. From being jealous despite expressing that I don’t want anything like that with him.

Oblivious to the tension, Bailey sashays into the room, heading toward Justin, finger twirling her perfectly straight, perfectly bottle-dyed auburn hair.

Regret flashes through Justin’s eyes as he glances toward her and smiles a warm hello, ever the consummate gentleman. I turn abruptly to leave, knocking into my chair so that it scrapes loudly against the hardwood floor.

“I didn’t realize you’d snapped your fingers,” I mutter as I try again to get around my chair.

From behind me, Justin releases a hearty, sincere laugh at my comment that despite my frustration with him causes me to smile. As I exit the room, I hear him call my name. I keep walking, wanting to further myself from the undressing with the eyes I’m sure will be occurring momentarily.

With my lack of response, he yells out the doorway to me, “This is by no means over, Selena.”

I continue without even responding, walk right past my office, and straight to the elevator doors. I ignore Stella’s call of my name, the blinking light indicating messages on my phone, and have luck when the elevator door opens as I approach. I need fresh air to clear my head right now, and this office, which is consumed by his presence at the moment, is not helping me.

I am a confident woman who is sure of myself and not afraid to speak up, so why do I feel like one of those blubbering girls I can’t stand? Why is it Justin reduces me to a mass of hormones, angry one minute and wanting his lips on mine the next?

I sag against the wall of the elevator in frustration. He gets me so worked up. So angry. I can’t figure out what I want to do more, punch him or sleep with him.

CHAPTER 6

The warm California sun relaxes me as I drink in its warmth in my backyard. I recline in the chaise, tilting my head to get the last rays before they ebb and fade to dusk. The leaves of several palm trees that line our backyard fence rustle with the light breeze, providing me with a sense of calm.

The day’s events have taken their toll on me. My meeting and revelations with Justin were no less exhausting than my day with the boys. And with Josie down with the flu, I’ll be back at the house in less than twenty-four hours to cover her shift. Despite it being early evening, I really should be getting ready for bed—sleeping off some of my exhaustion from my long week. But I’ve let Haddie talk me into a glass of wine and some pizza that she’s putting together in the house.

I close my eyes, leaning my head back, sighing as I allow myself to believe that the new facilities can actually become a reality now. That our new approach in treating orphaned children can expand and hopefully become the pioneering protocol for change in our foster system. The premise that kids can thrive in a home environment even when they don’t have their parents or family around. The idea that by creating small groups of these misfit kids under one roof—where they have consistency of guardians, rules, school, counseling—will lead to healthy, more society-ready adults. A place where if they don’t get adopted, as most kids these ages don’t, they will not have to move from foster home to foster home, or feel like a pariah at school because they are embarrassed that they don’t have a home to live in, but rather an orphanage. They will have a place where they belong.

With the money that Justin is helping provide, our new facility is a reality. Random houses in regular cities where kids who are used to having nothing will get something new for the first time in their lives. Somewhere they’ll feel safe, they’ll be loved, and they’ll have a sense of family.

A shiver of pride runs through me as I think of all of the possibilities and all of the hope that we can create with the completion of this project.

And then juxtaposed with the excitement over the new facility is my angst in regards to Justin. I’m so sick of thinking about it, him, and why I should keep my distance—of mentally making my pros and cons list and weighing them against each other. I still can’t figure out what to make of his comment that he doesn’t do the “girlfriend thing.” Why do I still keep thinking about him if there’s nothing there? Because there is. I can’t deny that he’s more than easy on the eyes. And I definitely can’t act as if the sparks that shoot up my arm when he touches me are imaginary. But I don’t want to get involved with him and his purported womanizing ways, especially now that I have to because of work.

I sigh heavily when I hear the sliding door open and Haddie walks out with a bottle of wine, two glasses, and a pizza box stacked with plates and napkins on top. I suddenly realize how hungry I am. She walks toward me, the sun framing her tall figure, setting her blond hair alight like a halo surrounding her head. Long, lean legs stretch from short khaki shorts and her oversized bosom is covered in an orange camisole. As usual, she is accessorized perfectly and styled flawlessly. And despite her tireless perfection that makes me feel inadequate in so many ways, I love her like the sister I never had.

“I’m starving,” I announce, sitting up from the chair to help Haddie place everything on the table.

“And I’m starving for information on what’s going on with you. On why you’re out here so deep in thought.” She prods as she pours the glasses with the red wine, and I serve pizza on the plates.

“Just like in our college dorm room,” I state nodding at our meal, laughing at the memory of two frightened freshman thrown together away from home.

She was my freshman roommate. I could have never of guessed that first week of college orientation that the Barbie Doll I was roomed with would turn out to be the person closest to me in the whole world. She had waltzed in our dorm room, a model out of a Ralph Lauren ad campaign, so confident and sure of herself, her ad-worthy family following behind her, taking in the meager surroundings of the painted brick walls and small closet space. My gawky self watched her, cringing inwardly at the thought of having to be reminded every morning I woke up at how inferior I was to a beautiful creature such as her.

I sat picking at the hem of my dress as her parents left for good. She shut the door, turned to me, a huge grin on her heart-shaped lips, and said, “Thank God they’re finally gone!” I watched her out of the corner of my eye as she sagged against the door in relief. She angled her head, studying me, sizing me up. “I think it’s time to celebrate!” She said hurrying over to her suitcase.

Within moments, she produced a bottle of tequila, hidden deep in her belongings. She came back toward me, flopping on my bed next to me. She unscrewed the cap and held the bottle up in the air between us, “To Freshman year!” she toasted, “To friendship, freedom, cute boys, and having each other’s backs.” She winced as she took a swig of the strong liquid and then handed the bottle over to me. I looked nervously back and forth between her and the bottle, and then wanting desperately to be liked by her, took a swallow, the burn bringing tears to my eyes.

“My God, we were so naïve back then. And young!” she joins in my reminiscence. “We’ve been through so much since freshman orientation!”

“All we need is that cheap tequila to bring us back.” I laugh and then fall into silence as the impending night starts to eat the sun’s rays. “Eight years is a long time, Had,” I admit, taking a deep drink of the tart wine, letting it soothe the anxiety gnawing at the edges of my mind.

“Long enough,” she says taking a seat, looking at me over her own, “that I know something is bugging you. What’s going on, Selena?”

I smile softly, so grateful to have a friend like her and cursed at the same time because she knows my every nuance. I feel tears burn in my throat, the sudden force of my emotions surprising me.

Haddie leans forward, her perfectly tanned legs bending beneath her as she reaches out and places a hand on my leg. “What is it, Selena? What has you so twisted up?”

I take a moment to find my voice, wanting to tell her everything, to get her opinion on whether I’m being obtuse in my confliction over Justin. Maybe I know what she is going to tell me if I confess, and that’s why I find myself holding back. Not wanting to hear that it’s okay after all this time to let go and feel again. That being with someone else does nothing to tarnish Max, his memory, or what we had together.

“There’s too many things, I don’t even know where to start,” I confess, trying to sift through my mental baggage. “I’m exhausted from work—worried about Zander’s lack of progress, wrapping up all of the details from the benefit last Saturday night,” I say running my hands through my hair, “and the fact that I’m back to the house tomorrow to cover Josie’s shift because she’s sick … ”

“Can’t someone else cover it?” She asks taking a bite of pizza. “You’ve worked way too many hours this week. I’ve barely seen you.”

“No one can. Not this week. Everyone’s hours are maxed out because all of the extra time I had them put in for the benefit … and since I’m on salary … it’s left to me,” I explain.

“I understand why you do it, Selena—why you love it—but don’t let it kill you, sweetie.”

“I know. I know. You sound like my mother!” I take a bite of my pizza and chew it slowly. “The good news though, is that I think we secured the rest of the funding for the facility.”

“What?” she sputters, sitting up quickly. “Why didn’t you tell me? This calls for a celebration,” she says, clinking her glass with mine. “What happened? How? Details!”

“We’re still ironing out the final details before making anything public,” I say, trying to hide my contempt for how we secured the funding from my voice, “and then we’ll make an announcement.” I hope that my answer will be enough to keep her questions at bay.

“Okay,” she says slowly, eyeing me—wondering why I’m not being more forthcoming. “So then what’s up with your auction date thing that Dane was telling me about?”

I look down, twisting the ring that sits on my right hand ring finger. I worry it around and around out of habit. “Not sure yet,” I say, looking up, noticing her watching my twisting of my ring.

She looks up, tears in her eyes. “It’s because the anniversary is coming up soon isn’t it? That’s why you seem so overwhelmed?” She scoots out of her chair and sits next to me, wrapping her arms around me.

For a brief moment, I allow myself to give in to the memories and to the thoughts that surround the approaching date. I haven’t really put the two together, my sudden sentimentality and my scattered emotional state over the possibility of acting on the nonexistent connection with Justin. It’s ironic to me that someone else has noticed it. I guess I’m subconsciously ignoring the traumatic date, wanting to close my eyes to the grief that will forever smolder in the depths of my soul.

I wipe a tear from my cheek and withdraw from the warmth of Haddie’s embrace. “Yeah,” I shrug, “just too much all at once.” This is the truth, but I feel guilty in not telling Haddie the whole of it.

“Well, sister,” she says reaching out and handing me back my glass of wine. “Let’s drink a bunch more wine, wallow in pity, and laugh at our stupid selves.” Her sincere smile permeates my mood.

I clink my glass to hers, thankful for her friendship. “Cheers, my dear!”

CHAPTER 7

I glance at the clock as I finish helping Ricky with his spelling words and shoo him off to play with the others. I have thirty more minutes on shift and then I’m off for a whole glorious two days. I actually have the elusive, rare weekend off, and despite letting Haddie talk me into being her date for a launch party for the newest rum product her company is promoting, I’m excited to have time to myself.

It’s been quite a day to say the least.

Earlier in the day, the school called for me to pick up Aiden because he’d been in yet another fight. I received a lecture from the principal that if this keeps up, other measures might need to be taken for his education. I questioned him about whether the other boys, the ones who keep bullying Aiden, were getting the same reprimand. If they were getting the same threat of being kicked out of school. He gave me a non-committal answer in the form of a grunt.

I was happy that I was able to work one on one with Zander while the rest of the boys were in school. Our counseling staff thought it was best to home school him until he started communicating verbally. Trying to teach someone who for the most part is unresponsive is a frustrating endeavor to say the least. All I want is for some kind of break through with him. Something tells me he knows how much I care for him. That I wish he still had his mother to soothe him. To hug him. To tell him she loves him.

The boys are in their various afterschool modes and I’m at the table finishing my review of Shane’s paper for school. Jackson’s shift ended and hour ago and his replacement, Mike, is at a routine counseling appointment with Connor.

I resume looking over Shane’s paper, thoroughly impressed with how well he is improving in school, a result of our numerous one-on-one sessions with him. I glance over to the family room area where Kyle and Ricky have entered with their box of baseball cards. They sit down on the floor next to the coffee table and turn their attention to the basketball game that is playing on the television. Zander is in his usual place, stuffed animal held to his chest, and eyes staring unfocused into space. Scooter is laying on the carpet, coloring in one of his Spiderman coloring books. I listen for the telltale sign of music in the back bedrooms to tell me that Shane is in his room. I finish making comments on Shane’s paper and shift my attention over to start reviewing the meal and afterschool activity schedules for the next week.

I hear a knock at the front door and before I can even put my pen down, I hear Shane yell, “I got it!” from his bedroom. I smirk because I know he’s hoping it’s his “girl that is a friend,” as he puts it. She came over last week, and I think that Shane is still on cloud nine.

“Look before you open,” I tell him as I rise from the table and walk toward the hall. As I reach the corner of the hall that leads to the foyer, Shane breezes past me, disappointment on his face. “It’s for you,” he says plopping on the couch.

I turn the corner, figuring that there’s a delivery of some sort as The House is always receiving legal documents via courier in regards to our kids’ situations. I look up and see the foot of someone standing outside the doorway. I reach the doorway and when I step out I come face to face with Justin. Despite his sunglasses, I know he’s looking me up and down. A lazy, lopsided grin on his face that causes his dimple to deepen is the only show of emotion on his face.

Damn my breath for catching at the sight of him. As much as I don’t want him here, don’t want the complication of what he has to offer in my life—a quick fuck that’s easily discarded—I am giddy at the sight of him. And this turn of events is not looking good for me.

I stop in the doorway, a smile spreading on my face despite my resolve that he’s bad news for me. We stand, looking at each other, taking each other in for several moments. He’s in a well-worn pair of jeans and a black t-shirt clings over his muscular torso. The simplicity of his clothing only adds to his devastating looks. His dark hair is windblown, wild and sexy as hell.

Everything about him screams here comes trouble. And I’m standing right in his path like a deer in the headlights. Unable to move and drawn to his light. Willpower is only going to last me so long. I’m seriously screwed.

“Hello, Selena.” The simple rasp of his voice saying my name has me flashing back to his mouth on mine. His hands on me. Has vibrations propelling shockwaves through my body.

I cock my head to the side regarding him. “Hi, Ace,” I say guardedly. “Since when did you add stalker to your repertoire of talents?”

I slip my hands into the rear pockets of my jeans as I lean against the doorjamb. He removes his sunglasses, his emerald eyes blazing into mine, and then folds them to hang in the neck of his shirt. Their weight pulls the neckline down so several dark hairs curl out over the edge. I drag my eyes from the sight back up to his.

He flashes me a lightening fast grin. “I’d be more than happy to show you my talents, sweetheart.”

I roll my eyes at him. “Womanizing is not a talent.”

“True,” he draws the word out and nods his head in a slow acknowledgement, “but you’ve yet to see the true depths of my many others.” He arches an eyebrow, a roguish smile turning up the corners of his mouth. “And since you keep running, I can’t show you and we can’t solve our little problem about that date you owe me.” He takes a step closer to me, a playful look dancing in his eyes. I retreat a step into the foyer, leery of this dance we are engaging in. “Aren’t you going to invite me in, Selena?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Donavan. I’ve been warned about guys like you.”

He smirks at me, finding my comment amusing. “You have no idea,” he murmurs, eyes locked on mine and the patronizing manner of his smile irks me. He takes another step closer, causing my pulse to quicken.

“What do you want? Why are you here?” I huff.

“Because I want my date with you,” he says annunciating every word, “and I always get what I want.” He places both hands on the doorjamb, leaning into it, his silhouette blocking the afternoon sun. His dark features haloed by the bright light.

I shake my head at his nerve and boundless conceit. “Not this time,” I disagree. I push the front door to shut and turn on my heel back down the hallway.

In less than a heartbeat, Justin grabs my upper arm, whirls me around, and has me pressed up against the doorjamb. “Keep fightin’ me, sweetheart. The feistier you are, the harder you make me.” There is a dangerous amusement to his tone that scrapes over me and prickles my senses.

Shit! How can he make those words sound like a seductive promise?

He presses his hips against mine, holding me against the hard, unforgiving wood. We’re both breathing harshly, and I’m unsure if it is from the physical exertion or from our proximity to each other.

Justin releases my upper arm and brings both of his hands to cradle my face in his hands, his thumbs brushing at my jaw line. The implied intimacy of this touch has me momentarily closing my eyes, absorbing the sensation. His translucent eyes burn into mine, and I can sense an internal struggle in him, his jaw tensing in deliberation.

“As much as I’d like to warn you away from me, Selena—for your own sake,” he murmurs inches from my mouth, “all I crave is the taste of you.” His finger trails a line down the side of my neck, lighting my skin on fire. “It’s been too long since I’ve savored you. You. Are. Intoxicating.” His words a staccato that match the quickening of my heart.

Oh fucking my! If that comment didn’t make desire flood every inch of my skin, nothing will. The man can seduce me with words alone. He’s pulling at me, testing my willpower, and making me want way more than I should. We breathe each other in for a moment as I try to form words in my head. Gain some semblance of coherence. His mere presence makes my synapses misfire.

“Why are you warning me,” I breathe, completely immobilized by the intensity of his stare, “when you’re going to take what you want anyway?”

I see his grin flash momentarily before his lips are on mine, his hands on me, proving my point and then some. This kiss is not gentle by any means. I can sense his hunger, his fiery need as our teeth clash momentarily. His lips and tongue move at a frenzied pace against mine while his hand grabs hold of my ponytail and tugs down, holding me in place.

I relish this kiss as much as he does, for all of my pent-up frustration over him from the past few days explodes within me. I am caught up in the hurricane that is Justin. I take as he is taking. I curl my arms around his torso, running my hands up his back, enjoying the firm delineation of his muscles as he moves with me. I nip at his bottom lip, aroused by the low moan that comes from the back of his throat. We press into each other, unable to get enough of each other’s touch—the only thought running through my head is that I want more.

I’m suddenly shocked back to reality like an angel losing her wings when I hear the boys cheering loudly in the family room at something to do with the basketball game. I push Justin back with two hands against his chest.

I try to catch my breath and my bearings by placing my hand against the wall and trying to steady myself. What the hell am I thinking? I’m making out in the doorway at work. For the second time. What the hell is this guy doing to me? When I’m around him it’s as if I’ve lost all sense of reality. I can’t do this. I just can’t. I’m shaken. Really shaken. No one has ever elicited such a blatant carnal reaction from me, and it scares me.

Justin stands across from me calm as can be, keenly watching me. Why do I feel as if I have just run a marathon and he looks like his is an uninterested bystander? He exhibits no indication beyond his mussed hair of what has just occurred.

I finally find my voice. “You’re right,” I say ruefully, “I most definitely should stay away from you.” I look back toward the hallway as I catch a slight grimace glance across his face. “I need to check on the boys. You can see yourself out,” I tell him as I turn abruptly and walk back toward my responsibilities. My reality.

I enter the great room trying to plaster a natural smile on my face, failing miserably. All the boys are where I left them and for that I am thankful—glad that no one ventured in the hallway to see their guardian acting like a teenager filled with raging hormones.

Something in my periphery catches my eye. I turn to see Justin standing at the edge of the hallway, thumbs hanging in the pockets of his jeans, shoulder casually leaning against the wall. His face is expressionless, but those iridescent eyes say so much more.

What now? Can’t he just leave me alone?

I glare at him, hoping my angst is reflected in my eyes. I see that Shane has taken notice of the stranger standing in his home. He turns his attention to Justin, sizing him up. His face scrunches up as he contemplates the stranger, trying to place his familiarity.

“What do you want?” I scowl despite trying to keep the contempt out of my voice. The last thing the boys need to witness right now is a confrontation. I notice Kyle and Ricky’s heads pop up to look over the table like a pair of meerkats.

Justin glances at the boys, smiles politely at them although I can see the tension in his eyes. “I told you, Selena, I’m here to collect my winnings,” he drawls. “To collect what’s mine.” He smiles insolently at me, waiting for my reaction, trying to push my buttons.

“I beg your pardon?”

“You owe me a date, Selena.”

I can see the boys have all turned their attention to the two of us now. The basketball game has been forgotten. Shane is smirking for he is old enough to sense sexual tension when he sees it even if he doesn’t quite understand it.

Justin walks toward me purposely placing his back to our audience, blocking me from their vision so they can’t watch our interaction. I am grateful when he stops and stands at a respectful distance from me.

“Sorry, Ace,” I say sweetly so only he can hear me. “Hell hasn’t frozen over yet. I’ll let you know when it does.”

He takes a step closer to me, his voice just above a whisper, “It seems you know all about being cold, Selena. Why stay frigid when you know I can heat you up?”

His targeted words take their direct hit right at my self-esteem. I seethe anger at his arrogance but know I must calm myself down before I cause a scene here at work, in front of my kids.

I break my glare from Justin when something over his shoulder catches my attention. I step to the side so that I can get a better look at what it is. I stifle a gasp as I watch Zander, holding his stuffed animal tightly, move slowly around the couch toward us. He has a curious look on his usually stoic face as he approaches.