#but yeah i hope this helps someone!!

[inkskinned]

"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"

dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.

but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.

the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.

so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.

we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.

now leave us alone.

#spilled ink #writeblr #slam poetry #i started this as a joke and ended up taking after #the poem about all the women in the world meeting in the bathroom #i can't find it to link it directly i've been googling for like 15 minutes if someone can remember #turns out frantically googling the only lines like ''women meeting in the bathroom'' #''secret womens meeting you always believed happened" is not useful for . to search??? help :( #also the reason this says harmless so many times is bc like #this is 100% about like #yeah man when ppl are mean about ppl enjoying things like. fuckin lady gaga #like this is so obviously about ppl who steal ur joy for no reason (i WILL steal ur joy if ur a bigot btw) #also yes it's bc someone was like ''liking the mcelroys in 2023 is cringe'' #and im like. dude what the fuck literally just let people like things it's LITERALLY not that deep. #like i dont like centipedes theyre one of like the 2 bugs im squicked out by ... but like. #if u really like centipedes. im like so happy for you. i hope you can put socks on ur centipedes #so they can speedclean ur floors. that would be fun and cool!!! #i love u i hope all of you have a weird passion i love you i hope that passion fills your life like soap bubbles

[luuxxart]

evil win! the ones plotting for your mysterious death are uncle and nephew!

#persona 5 #persona 4 #goro akechi #tohru adachi #uncle Adachi au #this came from the idea of apophenia #which means connecting dots that aren’t there #every time I see these two in fanart I go ‘wow . Adachi is so uncle coded here. akechi is totally his nephew. everyone is thinkign this’ #false. my au has not reached enough eyes #so I just idk wanted to draw them next to each other to inspire further apophenia in both me and perhaps my followers lol #i was inspired by someone who like. literally just drew them beside each other and I was like. yeah i could do that #NO I COULDNT. NOT EASILY #my brain was like ‘you should do a comic abt how Adachi can’t help but see his sister in akechi bc they look almost exactly the same’ #and there was a lot more angst in the arsenal as well #took me forever to just. draw this. like literally I thought I was gonna go insane #i cant. not. draw. a comic. or something with the vaguest of stories it is SO HARD idk why #so this was definitely a struggle. hope y all like it

[manitapaleta]

listen,….. we don’t know y hermie didn’t grow up with his dads but i already know its going to DEVASTATE ME when anthony tells us bc i know they would have loved the little joker, our sweet little thespian (also big brother nick hellooooooo)

#dungeons and daddies #dndads #dndaddies #jodie foster #scam likely #hermie the unworthy #scam actually #nick close #nick foster #nicholas foster #nicholas close #scodie #idk wtf is their ship name someone help #my art #wasn’t originally gonna make a lil comic but then i was like what if they didn’t tell nick and he comes home one day to hell and hermie is j #just there and everyone’s like o FUCK WE DIDNT TELL U LOL #also the idea that hermie is just now learning of his true family and he has a uncle and brother and two dads he’s never met but (i hope i b #believe i want it to be true) they love him v v much and the thought of nick meeting hermie and immediately taking on a big brother role mal #makes me wanna CRY bc he’s already taylor’s friend and yeah he said trust no one but he’s good to his son and he’s his baby brother who he’s #never met but what if he just feels v protective over him bc he’s been thru so much already and is now having an identity crisis bc WHO IS H #HERMIE??? like idk it’s a bit melancholic to think abt what if they were in each other’s lives??? how would have nick been as a big bro??? #sigh it’s 2am and i have work in 5 ish hours but i just had to get this outttt

[deer-with-a-stick]

I love how all of the companions' stories revolve around autonomy and I love how some of the romances show the whole "I love you for who you are"

Don't love how so many people are misinterpreting them though

#i think the romances thing really applies to wyll astarion and gale #wyll romance means you see beyond mizora and the half devil thing later #astarion romance means you see beyond the sexy facade and you prove to him that he doesnt need to perform for you to love him #gale romance is him getting over and understanding that mystra was never going to care about him like that #and that he doesnt need divinity to be loved #he's lovable as he is #anyway i feel my 'fuck mystra' feelings coming up again #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate three #baldur's gate 3 spoilers #baldur's gate three spoilers #bg3 spoilers #i dont know if lae'zels romance works for this but i know that she figures out kindness along the way #i really hope they fix karlach's quest we're allowed to save everyone else #i saw someone compare her and gale and yeah sure it works #i tend to compare her and astarion more though #and its a little upsetting that karlach doesn't get the freedom she wants so hopefully larian patches that #astarion might not get the freedom to walk in the sun on the 'good ending' but he's free of cazador and he can finally choose for himself #and seeing as he's not dead and how he's been a vampire for around 196 years (not over 200 yet) there are still ways to help him #harder for karlach because either she dies and ashes are all thats left she goes back to avernus or shes a mind flayer #also its arguable easier to live in the shadows/underdark than it is in literal Hell #easier to reach him too

[startistdoodles]

Visions

-First Part- -Previous Part- -Next Part-

HUGE thank you to @junebird24 for all her help with the coloring on this one!!

#pokemon #submas #subway boss emmet #galvantula #chandelure #joltik #giratina #submas angst #pokemon au #descendant au #descendant au comic #OK i think that covers everything #but yeah kicking of chapter 2 with some nightmares and contemplation #its been hard on him because what can you do when someone is lost to time? #its worth trying at least #thats what he would hope ingo would do for him #and again huge thanks to junebird for all her help she really elevated this comic and helped me out when i was super busy on other work #she went above and beyond and now that im gonna be working on this comic more it deserves a more polished look :) #o7 for her

[nautical-nasa]

Wait this sounds really interesting!! (Re I mean fuck y’all a picture of Logan and Oscar as children on little plush animal toys is hanging up in the Piastri Fridge) - do you have some background info on them for someone who knows nothing about them before f1? Or know a post that did, pretty please 🥺

Yeah of course!! There’s so much info you can see on them by just browsing the Loscar tag! But I’ll answer as best as I can!

So they’ve been friends since they were young young young. (Posted by Oscar referring to the fact the picture of him and Logan is on the Piastri family fridge)

They used to be teammates when they were in karting.

He also went into F4 with him, and after that they were both rivals in the Formula Renault Eurocup

Then once they went into F3 they were teammates in Prema! (There’s are videos on YouTube of that. The Prema Show, The Food Challenge, the Taboo Challenge. These are all from 2020).

When they were in F3 together they were actually battling for the championships as teammates. Oscar ended up winning after Logan DNFed but they both said it was always a friendly rivalry and stuff like that!

They weren’t in F2 together I believe (??) because Oscar won the 2021 season and then became a reserve driver while Logan had to stay out due to financial reasons. But once they got into F1 they were reunited!

#loscar #I know this isn’t super detailed but I’m also not the best with the history cuz it jumbles in my brain :( #and I’ve only been a fan since 2021 AND I took a gap for the 2023 season till the end. #but I hope this helps just establish a little bit of an introduction! #and if I got anything wrong please someone correct me! #and if anyone knows any good immediate sources it would be awesome if you could link those in the comments :) #f1 #logan sargeant #oscar piastri #formula 1 #anon #answered #they have a lot of history that’s hard to delve into in one sitting and I’m sure there’s a lot I left out #but yeah!! they’re fun to learn about :)

[betterthanbatman1]

I am once again losing my mind over these panels

#SOMEONE HELP HIM #my poor boy #my boy #my heart can’t handle this #Going feral waiting for the next issue where the batfamily actually help him #here’s to hoping #jason todd #red hood #batfamily #batfam #dc #dc comics #fuck you batman #queued #Edited tag: I found out that Jason does get out of the situation but is not saved by the family so… yeah.

[lovely-v]

“This movie didn’t need to be 3 hours long ugh” Yes it did!!! It was telling a story!! I was gettting immersed in the world!!! I was falling in love with the characters!!! Unless it’s one of those movies that truly didn’t need to be 3 hours long then yeah

#veesaysthings #movies are never too long unless I Don’t Like them. Hope this helps!! #by ‘one of those movies’ I do mean like most marvel movies btw especially avengers endgame. horrible film. #but I saw someone say this about A Knight’s Tale which I just watched. and like. yeah it needed to be 2 hrs long! #let heath ledger joust to Queen songs ? hello??

[astranauticus]

here it is! my gift for @i-am-not-to-be-perceived for @emis-equivalent-exchange! a small moment of domestic fluff for Maxim and VR-LA :D

#rolling with difficulty #i sure hope i scheduled this at the right time because wow it sure is 12am right now #also if something goes wrong w the image quality: guess whos computer just broke!! #art i made #i think the hc that helping another mechanite with their upkeep is a really intimate thing comes from someone in the discord #i just dont remember who and i feel bad but yeah thats sort of the idea here #edit i did not schedule it wrongly woohoo!! unfortunately it also went live when i was in the fucking shower!!!!!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

okay but the realization that Howdy is actually a little bit of a scoundrel? a scammer even?? was like the BEST part of the update for me!!! his got a bit of spice to him i like that!

idk if it’s just me but it feels like it’s very important that Eddie was the only have like a extra audio thing on his character sheet in the neighborhood besides Wally and the You page?? like that feels significant somehow right??

i just really loved both Howdy and Eddie in these updates they were so great

GOD i know i know he's got some Kick to him! he's got Flavor! i love how he turned the common perception of his character on its side - everyone expected him to be wholesome and helpful and sweet, and then the update came in with the fuckin steel chair-

hmmmm i can see both sides of the beetle on Eddie's bio - the significance, and the possibility of it just being There because most pages had 1-2 bugs, and the audio was about Eddie. but ALSO its so so likely that is Was significant! i honestly thought so as well!

i mean, the beetle is very uhhh, Valentine looking? the prevalent heart shapes, the soft pink-yellow-white coloring, plus its an audio centered on Eddie and Frank. we already know FranklyDear is going to be an established Couple - so i'd agree that the significant is There! and if we lived in an alternate world where we didn't know about FranklyDear, we'd all be losing our collective shit over this and theorizing the hell outta it

#SORRY I DID NOT SEE THIS ASK!!! #im going back through to see what i can answer that Doesnt have a scribble idea attached/prompted #i remember making a sort of delighted Suprised Pikachu Face listening to howdy's audios for the first time #bc like wow! yeah! hes a bit of a menace! #how did we not see it coming... hes a Salesman... of course hes Like That lmfao #of course hes gonna scam them! everything is already technically free and its not like theres any other way to get their goods! #he might as well have fun with it! thrifty bitch (affectionate)! #rambles from the bog #and how eddie is a totaly sweetheart and so helpful and a complete pushover- #ok not a Complete pushover #but its obvious he has an extremely hard time saying no and feels obligated to do whatever is asked of him #i hope this bites everyone in the ass. i hope the neighbors stretch him so thin he snaps <3 #i want to see/hear eddie go the fuck off on someone <3 #i love it when sweet doormat characters Lose It <3

[daily-linkclick]

What is the theory abt lg being from an alternate timeline? I’ve been seeing a lot of ppl talk about it and idrk where it comes from, and what are your thoughts??(have a nice day!!)

this ask magically appeared in my inbox just today but apparently it was sent weeks ago, holy shit! thank you for waiting op LMFAO

anyways, it's a theory that's been around before season 2, iirc! mostly because we had little to nothing lore wise around their powers, and its just fun thinking about while we waited for anything canon. there were a few things that did hint at lu guang being from an alternative timeline, being that we don't know his age and backstory, and his weird hair color (not a lot of people sporting full white hair, or any unnatural hair color in link click, at least)

those aspects don't necessarily point to him being from an alternate timeline, but they also could be hints towards it! but there's new content that makes this theory potentially canon! it's from this music video played during Bilibili World. it features an alternate mv for vortex, which is interesting because we see lu guang falling first:

in it, there are several shots with cheng xiaoshi wearing completely different outfits, some injured and one seemingly dead? Plus a frame that shows four cxs's merging into one. maybe it's just ooo pretty visuals, but there's a looot of imagery that implies different timelines (shard fractals, reflections, mirror images, etc)

There's also this shot, with lu guang wearing an alternate fit we've never seen - and he's wearing more black in this one?? his s1 fit also featured a dark shirt and pants but his flannel color was more dominant. this leads me to believe that this is lu guang but less experienced (another timeline).

maybe all of this is just non-canon for marketing, they did market lu guang as dead for all of pre-s2 lol, but i like to believe this is them teasing lu guang's past! even if he's the main character, he's someone who's past we know the least of. i'd argue we find out more about side characters than we do about him actually - which makes me (and a lot of other people) think he's from an alternate timeline!

that's the gist; i'll put my own thoughts under a read more so this post won't be insanely long

my own thoughts on the theory is that i think lu guang is from multiple alternate timelines. the frame with multiple cheng xiaoshis, and the one where four merge into one makes me believe lu guang met cheng xiaoshi in his timeline, but cxs either died or had a miserable life. he kept going into different timelines in an attempt to save him / be in a timeline where cheng xiaoshi is actually safe and happy, and finally got to the timeline we see in the show.

though that part requires him having more than just the power to look into what happens in a photo. but there's been proof of lu guang hiding what he knows / has with cheng xiaoshi (re: him hiding the fact emma died, and him hiding the photo that liu tianchen gave him). he's also an incredibly private person. if he hides from his closest friend, who's to say he isn't hiding something from the audience either?

we also don't know how they got their powers. if lu guang originally had the power to dive back into pictures, then it would make sense on how he's able to go to different timelines. also, studio lan clearly emphasizes the fact that the pair are two halves of a whole, and the show is more interesting because of that dynamic.

as an extra: lu guang's doting nature makes a lot of sense too, he just doesn't want to see cheng xiaoshi miserable again! it's a pretty known fact that cheng xiaoshi didn't have any friends (besides qiao ling) before lu guang, and his life insantly got better when they finally were a trio (interesting that it was mainly because of a mysterious person that popped out of nowhere). here's a fun twitter thread by t3mp0s about the trio's dynamic

lastly, i just think it'd be fun if at one point cheng xiaoshi slowly discovers what lu guang did in his past for him. and how hypocritical lu guang would sound after saying "past or future, leave them be" if he never applied that to cheng xiaoshi! either way i still want to see a cxs saving lg arc man... they keep teasing it EVEN IN THE MV

that's it!! i know link click's best quality is the trio going through other people's stories, but i think they're preparing us for the biggest one: lu guang's.

#link click #link click spoilers #dlc asks #i draw cheng xiaoshi a lot but listen i love thinking about lu guang more . he is so mysterious #HOPE THIS WAS UNDERSTANDABLE LOL #i didnt say anything abt the two as a ship in this post bc im someone who could do with or without it #but my god studio lan is not helping their case when they say 'yeah theyre two halves of a whole character' #i love doomed gays #lmk if there was anything i cld say more honestly i wrote this in a haze #because its my favorite theory #lu guang

[pieceofcec]

Ever wonder how many fics a ship has?

Well, wonder no more! For I have spent the last... 3-4 hours creating a chart to show how many fics a pairing has romantically and platonically!

Some things to keep in mind: fics can have multiple pairings, so the totals per character may not add up perfectly. This also means the averages aren't exact either, but they'll give you an idea of how rare a pairing is. The totals also give an idea of how popular a character is.

Only 2-character pairings are listed - I didn't want to figure out how to list every possible poly combination. I may add poly-units in the future though, but I won't include them in the averaging at all.

Also, fun fact An is the most annoying to search up because her name is within Kohane and Kanade's, so I had to use Shiraishi to search for her instead.

#ramblings #resources #project sekai #colorful stage #rui and tsukasa are such outliers I swear #touya and akito are too but not to that extent #yeah today I learned how to use functions and that I love sheets #but I am now so very tired because this took so much longer than I expected #but to be fair I had to search for 400 numbers and set up 42 formulas lol #really hope someone finds this helpful #that would make me very happy #but yeah I keep thinking a rare pair event would be super cool #and that made me wonder what a rare pair really was #since the number of fics varies depending on fandom size #I'd prolly consider it anything under the average #just for simplicity #actually wait I need to add an average of all the pairings not just character totals #will add that after I post this LOL

[disdaidal]

I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.

Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3

#personal #i had to make the tough decision to drop out of school last week #i didn't exactly want it if i'm being completely honest here #but certain stuff was preventing me from getting further so i knew the teachers are gonna ask me to quit over at our teams meeting #i instantly contacted my nurse about my situation. and she got me a doctor's appointment which was yesterday #where i kind of broke down a little. not because she didn't grant me the sick leave i thought i was going to get #after feeling down and sleeping terribly for weeks #but because she actually *got me*. like. she actually listened to me and figured out some stuff and told me that #what i'm going through and what i've been going through for years would make anyone depressed #so i couldn't help but cry a little because yeah. i'm so tired of never being enough no matter how hard i try #because my brain's wired a certain way and it makes me slow and kinda clumsy and inattentive at times #which. you might guess is not ideal at today's work environment. or studying-wise even #so instead of granting me sick leave (she did say we can change that at anytime though) she told me to wait for that phone call #from the unemployment office. which i should be getting tomorrow. or well. later today #and talk to them about this. to see if they can offer some solutions. or if we can figure something out #'cause i'm getting closer to my 40s and not getting anywhere and it's wearing me out and tiring me out #because i clearly can't help myself or change my ways on my own #i managed to get some work last week though. at the local youth house. one shift though but money still #but i haven't been getting those offers a lot during the past few months so it's not enough to support me obviously #so i definitely need something else. and i hope i can get help. that someone could help me #i should finally get tested for adhd next month too. i don't know if i even have it or if it's gonna change anything but #at least i'd know #anyway i needed to get this off my chest. cause i'm kinda crying a little bit even now just thinking about this whole thing #sorry

[blakbonnet]

so I'm seeing a lot of vitriol rn but mostly I'm also seeing a lot of followers and friends being unable to cope with the death threats and the anon hate so I'd just like to remind you that it's okay to turn off anons. Do it! It's quiet and peaceful on the other side and sure you lose those happy anons too but it's worth it, trust me. Another thing is if reading about other people getting hate or seeing people answer/reply to hateful shit stirrers is affecting you, unfollow! It's okay if it's a long time mutual, they'll understand. If you're friends, you'll still be friends. Or if the idea of unfollowing makes you sad, just put them in the filtered content list. It's inbuilt into tumblr (under the general settings tab) and you just take their url and copy paste it in there, and all their posts would be filtered until you're feeling open to seeing their stuff again. there is no shame in doing this honestly, it doesn't make you a shitty friend or a mutual or a blog, and I'd recommend this to big and small blogs who are finding it hard to not feel anxious anytime they visit their dash

#if you're like me and spend maybe an hour online #you deserve to have a dash that you want to see #you're not use to anyone if you're shaking like a leaf at the prospect of opening tumblr #I've been on this site for over a decade and this is the first time I've had anons off #and while it does piss me off truly #i know what I can and can't take #so yeah #meow speaks #hope this helps someone #I myself have unfollowed blocked more than ever this week #but I've also had to put a lot of mutuals into the filtered tab list because I just can't take reading some of the hateful stuff they get #and I know so many friends who have done the same

[squidkidnerd]

okay here’s my Big Bad Side Order Theory: Marina made the Tower of Order initially as her "perfect world" so to speak—a world where everything was stable, constant, and safe. She didn't have to worry about things changing too much or Pearl leaving her or whatever else she was worried about. At some point, Pearl likely gets involved in this too due to the concert dialogue. Things are fine and nothing ever, ever goes wrong... right?

Yeah, something goes wrong.

Basically, at the beginning of Side Order, the simulation got out of Marina's control. This caused the Square's bleached coral to appear, the enemies to spawn, and most importantly: sucked Eight, Pearl, Acht, and who knows who else (*cough* Four *cough*) in. I imagine Marina somehow ended up trapped somehow too, though not with the others and well, with at least some semblance of control over the simulation. I think this is why some of the menus and even a bomb of some kind have Marina's logo on them—they're her indirectly trying to help you. So, "ascending the Tower of Order" basically means getting to the tower, finding Marina, and taking back control of/shutting off the simulation.

I like this theory because it makes Marina involved in this whole mess without making her the outright villain, which I think is just too out of character. What is in character for her, though, is her anxieties leading her to create a simulated world that, like anxiety often does in real life, gets out of control. Getting it in control, then, is about Marina taking control of her anxiety—learning to trust Pearl and the other people in her life while also letting herself live a little at the same time.

#splatoon #side order #marina strikes me as someone who has a lot of struggles w anxiety #she was like #a childhood genius so i imagine there was a lot of pressure placed on her #and i dont think that ever really went away #with off the hook being idols #their world tour n all that #now pearl definitely helped but stuff like that doesnt just go away #so yeah #im hoping im actually right bc it would be rlly cool plz nintendo plz

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

The way the MASH fandom tends to imagine the ages of the characters is fascinating to me. I keep seeing people referring to various main characters (except Potter and Radar) as “middle-aged”. While to my knowledge we do not have an exact age for any of the characters, I don’t think this assumption can be correct.

While references to character ages within the show are all over the place, in keeping with typically nonsensical MASH continuity, we do have concrete information from the cast on this. Alan Alda stated that Hawkeye is in his late 20s. This would make sense both for him and for BJ, Trapper, and all other assorted surgeons, given where they are in their professional and personal lives. The one exception to this would be Charles, who David Ogden Stiers mentioned was intended to be in his mid-30s, which would in turn make sense for Charles specifically, as he is clearly farther along in a surgeon’s career path than the others, he is the only doctor who has multiple specialties (thoracic and pediatric), and personality-wise he generally acts older than the other Swamp Rats.   Real life statistics back this up, as well! The age range of the draft at this time was 18 & 1/2 to 35. (Also, notably, those who served in WWII were exempted from taking part in the Korean War draft, which would be evidence that none of the men in the show besides Potter served in WWII, for what that’s worth.) And that range was heavily weighted toward the lower end. When the show makes a big deal about how young the soldiers they treat are, it’s being absolutely realistic: the average age of a Korean War soldier in 1950 was 19!

The character who most inspired this post, however, I don’t think anyone ever mentioned an age for at any point: Klinger. Almost without exception, I see people talk about Klinger with the assumption that he is the same age as the doctor characters. This has always confused me, because I see no reason that should be true! It makes sense that the doctors would skew quite above the average draftee age of 19 because of the age constraints of their profession, but there is absolutely no reason to assume that same skewing would apply to Klinger, a random enlisted person. 

In fact, there are several pieces of evidence in support of the idea of him being younger, perhaps 19-23. While he does call Radar “kid” a few times, implying he is older than him, they are also very close friends and Radar clearly does not treat him with the same “little sibling” attitude that he does Hawkeye & co. (Plus, Radar and Klinger are given equivalent places in the narrative constantly. In just about every other aspect, we are clearly meant to see them as having “equal status”, so why not in regards to age?)

There’s also the whole Laverne thing. The mere fact of his getting married makes him seem older to a modern audience, but we must remember that back in 1950, people tended to marry earlier than today. (Average age of marriage in 1950 was 20 for women, 23 for men.) Klinger says Laverne was his highschool sweetheart, and it’s implied that they’ve been together steadily since then. We know he very much WANTS to get married and have a family. Given the aforementioned cultural norms, if he’s even in his late 20s, it would be weird that he’s not already married before the show starts.  

Additionally, there’s his apparent position career-wise, which is: he does not have a career yet! He mentions a lot of summer jobs doing various different things, usually helping a family member’s business, which would make total sense for a college-age kid with no socioeconomic opportunity to actually go to college. Given how hardworking and eager to learn Klinger is (remember his multiple correspondence courses--another age-appropriate similarity with Radar), if he were middle-aged, he would surely already have a good blue-collar union profession. (Again, cultural norms: they had not yet invented the horror of the gig economy in the 50s lol.) 

This post is getting way too long, but I do feel quite passionate about this subject, especially with regards to Klinger. The fact that Radar’s age is such a huge part of his character, but Klinger is implicitly treated by the show, and thus seen by the fandom, as much older even though there’s no REASON for that..... It makes me think. Especially given the way youth of color are treated in both reality and fiction. Especially given how despicably the other characters treat him in late seasons, making fun of him for being incompetent and stupid. I know it’s really not that deep! But it just makes me think. 

(On a lighter note, I also think it’s useful to keep in mind the canonical age difference between a 32-34 year old Charles and his 26-29 year old roommates. And his age means he NEARLY aged out of draft eligibility, too!)

(”Where does Margaret come into this?” you ask. I’m honestly not sure! I don’t recall any canonical statement of her age either, in-universe or out. It’s important to note, though, that the average age of nurses was definitely higher than that of the male draftees. I couldn’t find data for Korea specifically, but during WWII, the age requirements for the army nurse corps were 21-40, later 21-45. Again, these are medical professionals, so this increased age makes sense. (And the show actually gives us some older nurse characters!) It makes sense for Margaret to be on the higher end of this spectrum, given her high rank and status, but not super high, given that she’s highly skilled and extremely ambitious.)

But beyond individual characters, I wish the age thing were more concrete and acknowledged, just for the sake of the whole tone of the show! I really wish they’d gone out of their way to portray the truth: that aside from the medical professionals, the average age of the enlisted men at the 4077th should be nineteen years old. That all of their patients really are just babies to these doctors (and to the older nurses as well!). It would really help drive home some of the points the series tried so hard to make.

#MASH #MASH meta #Maxwell Q Klinger #Charles Emerson Winchester III #I suppose I needn't tag hashtag long post anymore? We're so advanced these days. #Anyways if I got anything wrong here I'll be soooooo embarrassed but I've wanted to make this post for literally over a year lol so #TL;DR Hawkbeej are literally not middle aged despite the text posts everyone tags them in ghdgksjsdhgkdsk #I think people really get thrown off by the actors' ages! which I totally get but it's so much more interesting and useful to me #to calculate the ages based on this type of circumstantial evidence. I think it can help inform characterization! #also sometimes the cast literally did just tell us how old they are so yeah :P that's not common info at all though so I wanted #to get it out there and talk about it and YEAH. I hope someone reads this now even though it is soooo long RIP QwQ #Starky's Original Posts #IF YOU READ ALL THIS THANK YOU MWAH