#but. jake. english ... or. dirk. hmmm | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cure-typhoon · 1 month

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i apologize for the wording in that ask lol. using the lalondes as an example again but better hopefully,, kid rose is sent in place of kid roxy and the same with their guardian counterparts. so rose grows up in post apocalyptic fish land with jake, jane, and dirk, while roxy is raised by guardian rose and is friends with john, jade, and dave. you can do this with any player duo like the captors, vantas’s etc but only just them. ur just swapping them around pre and post scratch. ig the question is more what swap would u be most intrigued by :)?

OHH thank you! English is not my first language and i get confused easily! sorry :b

Let's see... I'm assuming they grow up in the alternate universe and didnt just swap places out of nowhere with all their memories and all. Sooo, i think first one would be Feferi and Meenah /The Condesce and Beforus Feferi

It's kinda hard to imagine how some characters would be in different circunstances, as the enviroment is one of the primary things that shapes a person. But I doubt The Condesce/Adult Meenah in Beforus would be the same tyrant she was on Alternia. Meenah has been shown to be cruel (with bullying Damara so extremely that Damara straight up killed her) but also as someone who cares about their friends, like when she starts crying to June about Aranea.

So I think a Condesce rulling Beforus WOULD definitly change the way it is. First I really doubt they would have the Cuddling system the way Beforus Feferi had it, as Meenah literally tried to shape her team to become stronger, in the worst way possible and she ended up failling, but at least that was her plan. So Beforus in the rule of The Condesce would probably start to become like a less hellish Alternia?

But also Meenah was shaped by Beforus Feferi and not wanting to be like her so maybe The Condesce wouldnt have a need to try to make everything harsher? I think she would just be like, Royalty who is worshippped like Gods. Maybe she pulls up fight tournaments from time to time to not get bored and to shape the Trolls to not be ''lame''. This place is probably ridden with lots of inequality, but so was OG Beforus so its not that much of a change.

Basically she would be an uninterested Ruler who is just enjoying the fruits of being basically a Goddess to her people

Feferi in the place of Meenah HMMM, okey I really doubt the condesce in beforus would try to murder her, so at least she has that (And not taking care of Gl'bgolyb). So for starters Feferi would have like 100% less pressure but I feel she would have a God Complex.

Like OG Feferi where she wanted to help people but was obviously misguided, but here I feel she would straight up be like ''I can never be wrong'' and wants to overthrown the Condesce and kill her even though she Definitly Doesnt Need To Do That. But she is sending a message and telling everyone she is changing shit, well at least that was her OG plan before starting the Game as she found a way to make her Perfect World. She is not happy for the failling. I feel she would become like OG Aranea where she tries to be more relevant, she probably was in cahoots with Aranea in this timeline, besties in crime

She would probably be super studious and involved in everything, to try to become ''The Best Ruler That Beforus Will Ever SEA 38D''

(ignore that i forgot her horns)

About Beforus Feferi in Alternia

Like I feel she wouldnt try to change things in Alternia after coming to power, like I really doubt she is a fucking Nice ruler considering how Alternia is, but I think she has her doubts of how things are like, with how much unnecesary death there is. I think she would be a harsh and cruel ruler who definitly see's Lowbloods pitfully, but when she listens to the Sufferer's speechs and decides to meet with the him in private to hear his demand, I feel that The Handmaid would frame The Sufferer as if he was trying to murder Beforus Feferi and she would quickly change her mind.

Meenah in Alternia I really doubt would be having a good time, she would have to be feeding her lusus on her own, threat of murder with her ancestor, and the general Murderland that is Alternia

I don't think Beforus Feferi left the planet in this case or maybe she is much closer than the OG Condesce, pressuring Meenah to become a fit ruler for Alternia makes Meenah stressed

Like yes The OG Condesce went through similar stuff but i feel that Meenah being younger and also being influenced by her ancestor, her friendgroup, her lusus. She just wants to dip but she CANT with her lusus possibly killing everyone so she is very glad with the game starting soon

Okey this post is getting too long im doing another one later with the other swap!

#homestuck #my art #feferi peixes #meenah peixes #the condesce #beforus feferi #beforus #alpha trolls #beta trolls #trollswap

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disabled-stuck · 10 months

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HI ITS ME CHRONIC PAIN ANON BACK AGAIN... here's my thoughts on who of the human cast is Aware That They Have Chronic Pain Issues. srry ppl were discussing and im like, Wow, Time For Me In Hc Central

june's issues start to really develop and get bad post-game (in my headcanons), so for a long period of time she literally has no one to talk to about it bc she's self-isolating. she eventually tells nannasprite about it when nanna is guilt-tripping her into getting up (nanna voice: Whatever works, hoohoo!), and nanna is like. this is my only granddaughter. i will do whatever i can for her. (i love june & nanna's dynamic. could u tell.) jasprose also is like GIRL!!! You Are In Pain!!! nanna & jasprose team up of the century to get june egbert to Acknowledge Her Problems

dave NO clue NO idea WILL not talk about it. maybe EVENTUALLY tells karkat about it but i don't think she ever seeks out a diagnosis or tries to get one. hes got old ingrained trauma about seeing doctors, which is something he's trying to get over, but like, he already has 4 bajillion other things to unpack about his childhood and healthcare systems are not historically good about chronic pain, a dismissal of their symptoms might set them back in that regard. they're just homebrewing this shit for now.

rose: yeah, she knows. she doesn't talk about it in those terms, though. instead of saying "i have a horrible migraine and cannot get out of bed" she tells kanaya to text the gc that she's afflicted by the Broodfester Woes and cannot join them this evening. theyve sort of picked up by now what that means but she thinks it's funnier this way.

jade: HMMM. i think she put herself through her denial paces but actually i think going grimbark essentially caused her to not feel her chronic pain (a side effect of condy's semi-control over her body), and when she got shunted back into her body she had to face the reality where she DIDNT hurt all the time like wow thats how ppl normally feel? what the fuck????

jane: oh absolutely fucking not does not know. unlike jade, his pain got WORSE during crockertier. yet it still takes literally two decades for him to finally acknowledge that his stuff is NOT normal and the fact that her whole friend group has chronic pain doesn't help, which kind of sucks. jane voice: well sometimes i can get out of bed when i have a headache and rose can't, so clearly its not the same (as if jane doesn't force himself out of bed even when he really shouldnt!!!). roxy has to be the one to tell him.

roxy: yeah she knows it's chronic pain. she's been worried about getting cirrhosis for years, and so has been keeping up to date on her physical health as a result. she figured it out pretty quickly after a couple flareups. trickster mode made it worse for her.

dirk: hal has been telling him for YEARRRRRRRRS that his carpal tunnel is just that, carpal tunnel. and yet. AR: Dirk, if you do not take better care of yourself, you are never going to be capable of building me a body of my own. TT: 1. I'm fine. 2. I'm not building you a body anyways, so the point is moot. anyways he accepts it during the game bc he's like you know what. might as well admit it to myself. good thing, too, because it only gets worse after a couple decapitations.

jake: has pretty much always known, deep down, but like. she lives on an ISLAND. the hell is he going to do about it? no, better not to think about it. someday they'll be able to deal with it, but that day isn't today, and theres so much to do. so he represses it DEEPLY. normal action hero jake english doesn't have chronic pain, of course. she's a heroic manly lead, after all... (the deconstruction of that mindset sort of makes them acknowledge it, though.)

ANYWAYS I JUST RAMBLED AT YOU FOR A COUPLE HUNDRED WORDS HOPE U HAVE, A GOOD DAY/NIGHT/WHAT EVER

YYAYYY no you're so good nonnie thank u forever and ever

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triptychgardener · 9 months

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23!!

Hmmm... running me through a tough gauntlet of choice huh? For the Lalondes, definitely Rose (no big surprise there.) For the Egberts/Crockers, it's a tough one, but I'm too big of a Junehead to say Jane (sorry Jane) For the Harleys/English's, I think I like Jake the best, he's just so interesting from a narrative perspective and has sooo much wrong him. Maybe on my reread I'll come around more to Jade though... And for the Striders, c'mon, it's Dave. I like Dirk, but Dave is Dave.

#asks #soundtestscreen

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paradoxkinspace · 2 years

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ClowncAR! have you been asked about your Gamzee Megido timeline yet? Cause 👀

i haven't! lets seeee,,, whats some cool stuff i can clue ya in on?

oh! uh, for one, me and mod jubejube share this timeline through mutual connection to Eridan Serket (prince of light, catalystAlexandria, merlion lusus, had king arthur aesthetic vibes) via him being my moirail and being jubejube's descendent (she's Cronus Serket)

as for meee.... i was a bard of time! uhhh i liked painting, tho i dont think i was exactly good at or nothin haha.

lets see.... oh! here's somethin actually interesting, i'm pretty sure i was basically haunted by Kurloz for most of the timeline. or maybe it was my ancestor (The Funerary) sendin me in the right direction beforehand

lets see... ive already mentioned me and Loz were Bard & Prince of Time. and Eri & Cro were the Prince & Bard of Light.... buuuuut....as for other swaps in the timeline.... John Jojo Harley (Witch of Breath), Dave Lalonde (Seer of Time, possibly involved with Eridan in some other quadrant. or maybe they were just broskis), Jade Strider (Knight of Space), Rose Egbert (Heir of Light), Jane English (Maid of Hope), Dirk Lalonde (Prince of Void), Jake Strider (Page of Heart), Roxy Crocker (Rogue of Life), Aradia & Damara Makara (Maid & Witch of Rage), Tavros & Rufioh Maryam (Page & Rogue of Space), Sollux & Mituna Pyrope (Mage & Heir of Mind), Karkat & Kankri Peixes (Knight & Seer of Life), Nepeta & Meulin Zahhak (Rogue & Mage of Void), Kanaya & Porrim Nitram (Sylph & Maid of Breath), Terezi & Latula Vantas (Seer & Knight of Blood), Vriska & Aranea Captor (Thief & Sylph of Doom), Equius & Horuss Ampora (Heir & Page of Hope), Feferi & Meenah Leijon (Witch & Thief of Heart)

not sure of anythin about the cherubs tho.... i think they were still around and me and 'Loz had somethin to do with em... probably with Ara and Damz. after all, Loz and Damz were in some type-a red quad. at least i know our ancestors had somethin goin on and were usually linked in terms of "legend" for lack of a better term. i think while The Funerary and The Great Mortician were probably matesprits (or at least, rumored to be), their pre-scratch selves (that is, Kurloz & Damara) were running a bit paler. don't quote me tho. the time-space axis is where i'm strongest for this timeline, not heart or blood hehehe

i'm equally stuck on the vagueness of my lusus. i doubt he was around much, tho im not sure if he was just an absent custody or if he was motherfuckin dead hahahahahaha

either way i think he had some sorta reptile or amphibian vibe to him, maybe a frog or crocodile? but it's more complicated than so i'd place my bets with some sorta hybrid thing, like a chimera in some way. even if that means it was just a literal horned toad. id make some shit pun combo-ing baphomet and frogs/toads but i cant think of one thats actually obvious enough to be funny. (bufomet is the closest ive got so s/o to anyone who picks that one up hahahahahahaha)

hmmm.... need to think a bit more on this one tbh hehehehe :o)

💫

#mod clowncar #mods kinning #txt n talk #timeline 200 event

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ultimatelyunassuming · 2 years

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I forgot when i made this post and im too lazy to find it again but jake getting the kidd (the felt) in the ult dirk/lord english divorce from them going to dirk and dirk very much not wanting them so he just placed them randomly in the epilogues and the felt find jake amd went "oh this guy wrecked our shit single handedly lets fucking Get Him" but jake is wering his le coat so the felt go "hm. This complicates things. Lets just make him the new boss" then jake takes control of the meat timeline with the felt because he got a surplus of ~meta knowledge and power~ and becomes more important in the narrative and finally gets a hold on his own narrative agency through leading the felt and through going around the timeline and stopping meat stuff from happening ult dirk spies jake doing a lot better (and also the fact that jane isnt a fascist dictator (is that meat?) now) and ult dirk flips because his ex cant be doing BETTER now how come HE gets to be happy without HIM so ult dirk comes down from metaverse space or whatever its called and says "jake you got too much narrative power youre fucking up everything ive worked for in this story to make it my own im taking back the felt to my by croonies" and jake goes "hmmm no i dont think i will ive had enough of being the hot one its my turn to be important. Cans get his ass" and ult dirk gets punched into next week

#[uu] is online #jake leader of the felt

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ijusthomedyourstuck · 2 years

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Listening to my DirkJake playlist in the shower. New low tbh

#dirk strider #homestuck #dirkjake #jake english #hmmm #anyway

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dirt-str1der · 3 years

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Im suffering 10/44 34 slides left to transcribe. You know it aint even that hard im just in pain like physical pain rn swag !!!!!

#Listen to my problems #AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #oh hell that burns #Ok but hang on. hang on. ash talks about homestuck time i just wanna say that dirk is a cute anime boy and i love him alot #watch out for. icon. change.#but. jake. english ... or. dirk. hmmm #hang on this song slaps i needa write it down.#beck- loser #thats the song !!!!!#im laughing im listening to ppls bro strider playlists because i wanna see whats up OH FUCK OH FYCK OH FUCK SOMEONE PUT UR LOVE IS MY DRUG #THIS IS GREAT WHAT YOUVE GOT BOY IS HARD TO FIND I THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME #IM ALL STRUNG OUT MY HEART IS FRIED I JUST CANT GET YOU OFF MY MIND #perfectshun ;P #but anyway i was gonna say i felt bad for putting f*ggot by MSI into mine but some other dude did it too and i was like dude.#YEh same minds #bro r we kinning !!! yeah #gwhh anyway. homestuck. remodelling. stay tuned #theres surprisingly little rap in here ill say ppl like to be dramatic #and also i KNOW. i know this is your self ship playlist. i can feel it the vibes #immaculate #kenny is so cute hve i said that hes v small

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stuck-in-the-ghost-zone · 2 years

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jake english for the ask game ? :)

OF COURSE KING!!!!!

First impression: hmmm extremely indifferent (i read homestuck when i was like 14 and was not yet super into character analysis)

Impression now: oh he is such a mess (affectionate). the friend everyone has a crush on for no reason but he's too clueless to realize and breaks everyone's hearts. i think he is genuinely a really really good guy but he has no concept of what is acceptable in social situations (grew up alone on an island surrounded by monsters) so he comes off as kind of callous and mean sometimes without meaning to be. i love this about him. super gullible but also rlly smart. we have the same awful taste in movies (derogatory) (affectionate)

Favorite moment: HMMMMMMMM this is a hard one. i am a [s] game over enjoyer. the moment where he tried to save jane and got killed anyway made me so sad. i also rlly enjoy his pen pal letter to john i think its nice :]

Idea for a story: im gonna use this as an excuse to plug hsmc au by myself and roswell @snwchester bc its incredibly funny. he and dirk are the dnf of hsmc. oh my god they were roommates

Unpopular opinion: a lot of the fandom characterizes him kindaaaa. weird. when people make him the like. uber confident sexy guy that's a lil weirdchamp and ooc in my opinion. hes just as much of an insane loser (affectionate) as the rest of them. i mean his favorite movie is the james cameron avatar come on

Favorite relationship: will i get burned at the stake if i say dirkjake. i think they have good potential. they r so messy and maybe a little unhealthy but they have such good potential

Favorite headcanon: i think hes rlly good at biology. he knows a lot abt plants an animals just like. inherently.

#hsmc au #<< everything is under that tag hehe #also irt the unpopular opinion: i have not been active in the hs tag since 2015 i HOPE ppl don't still do that #but i remember feeling rlly eeguh abt it ages ago bc i saw it a lot hsdbjfs #i lov jake !!! i never got super into him as i did other characters but. holds him in my hand i just think hes neat #i am also haunted by my middle school self that was rlly into dirkjake (<< was one of the first canonically gay ships i experienced)#can you believe i made a post abt homestuck without mentioning godtiers even once. holy shit. gnawing at the bars of my cage let me out #hehehehehe #THANK U I LOVE ANSWERING THESE A LOT THEY R SURPRISINGLY RLLY FUN #asks #jaketism #ask game #hs

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autumnblogs · 3 years

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Day 45: Dead

https://homestuck.com/story/5443

You are now Caliborn.

The narrative introduces our young villain formally without any humanizing elements. No hobbies, no interests. Caliborn cares about nothing, and wants nothing, except for power.

More after the break.

https://homestuck.com/story/5446

Jujus serve, I think, as a symbol representing cultural norms - sets of rules and expectations which have no discernible origin, which are seemingly arbitrary, and which can easily ruin our lives if we fail to adhere to them. Being a Cherub is like perpetually being Alice in Wonderland, unable to make heads or tales of the strange grown-ups and their strange ways.

This is the lens that Caliborn grows up viewing the world through, and it is the one he will carry with him into adulthood - or whatever parody of adulthood he ultimately achieves by becoming Lord English.

https://homestuck.com/story/5457

The primary parallel being drawn between Caliborn and another character here is Karkat of all people! Which I don’t think is wrong. Caliborn is something like a bizarro world Karkat, an angry temperamental piece of shit who really is a complete piece of shit, rather than having solid gold beneath his irascible facade.

He is also aware of the narrative. The narrative denies (unreliably, I might add) that Caliborn is actually cognizant of it, and it does it in such a way that makes me suspect that, like Carapacians, Cherubs’ consciousness exists, to some extent, on the narrative layer.

Or it might be that Caliborn is a Lord and uniquely predisposed to take notice of it.

Or it could be the big goddamn signal tower on his planet with a narrative prompt, making it unmistakable that his thoughts are being authored by a third party.

https://homestuck.com/story/5466

Mere seconds into this adventure, and friendships are already strained.

Jane is literally at Dirk’s throat.

https://homestuck.com/story/5477

I’ve never thought to read what is obviously metanarrative shenanigans as Caliborn experiencing Calliope Thoughts as though they were from inside his own noggin before, but I kind of like that reading, and I wonder to what extent it’s true? It’s never hinted at in the text, but the idea is intriguing. Even if he has not properly absorbed his sister’s consciousness in order to become whole, some parts of her nature no doubt linger in the shared body, like a vestigial organ, or the phantom pain from a severed appendage.

Sadly, we don’t have a lot of evidence to work with.

https://homestuck.com/story/5480

What’s the function of Caliborn having a learning disability? Does he actually have a learning disability? It seems like he does. Is it a case of inspirationally disadvantaged? Are we to find the story of Caliborn’s journey to strength in spite of his inherent disadvantage compelling? That is troubling, especially because of the kind of weirdly ableist judgement that the story passes on Tavros and Jake respectively for more or less failing to be strong in spite of their respective disadvantages (Tavros being a paraplegic is pretty obvious, and I don’t think it’s remotely a stretch to say that Jake has some pretty obvious PTSD). Are we supposed to laugh at him because his disability is another form of misery inflicted on him? That’s even worse. Is it just an extraneous detail? I have a hard time believing that.

Maybe Caliborn’s learning disability is imagined, self-diagnosed, and he’s actually just a stubborn asshole who won’t learn how to do new things.

Hmmm.

All troubling possible answers to that question.

I wanna be clear here that I like Homestuck; clearly, or I wouldn’t be writing this. But I think it is at times a troublingly ableist work of fiction.

https://homestuck.com/story/5481

Andrew seems to confirm the “Inspirationally Disadvantaged” take here.

https://homestuck.com/story/5484

I’ve gotta tell you, to whatever extent Caliborn is actually a surrogate for the audience, I feel considerably more sympathy for him this time around. My own increasing suspicion of Andrew, and antipathy toward the antagonistic writing of Homestuck.

https://homestuck.com/story/5496

Andrew’s choice of words here in describing the people who get Yaldabaoth as their Denizen is telling - the Demiurge is reserved as a challenge for Warriors. All kinds of characters in Homestuck fight and some of them who are not warriors are extremely deadly - Kanaya for example - extremely deadly, not a warrior.

A warrior is someone for whom war is their career. It is what they do with their life, and historically, their form of retirement is to grow old and slow and be taken down by younger and more spry adversaries.

While, to invoke my recurring refrain, if you have gotten this far, you probably already know, the Demiurge Yaldabaoth is a figure from Gnostic Religions, early counterparts to Orthodox Christianity, for which a central theme was the idea that the God of the Old Testament was not the same entity as Jesus Christ, but a hostile and extremely powerful spiritual being named Yaldabaoth, a being born into a material world alone as a result of divine reproductive incontinence, believing he was the only thing that existed, and proclaiming himself as God.

An Evil God who attempts to keep all of his subjects in the dark so that they will not achieve Gnosis, and transcend the material confines of the cruel universe he has constructed to torture them. Sound familiar?

https://homestuck.com/story/5505

So here are a few more things to sum up about Caliborn that aren’t exactly revolutionary, because a lot like Equius, much of the point of Caliborn is to explicitly state a lot of the comic’s antitheses.

Caliborn is extraordinarily morally myopic and hypocritical, and while he sometimes entertains the idea that anything he has done might have been in error, he usually chalks up success to his own skill and “virtue” if it can be said Caliborn is in any way virtuous, while blaming other people, or bad luck, for his misfortune (rather like Vriska does).

Caliborn’s experience of the present is pretty much always miserable; he constantly bitches and complains, and his only real source of entertainment seems to be nostalgia concerning his own exploits - he greatly enjoys engaging in reverie on the subject of his own evil deeds. I believe we’ll find that Caliborn feels equally good about his future, but the present is always miserable for him. He only ever gets to enjoy himself vicariously - looking forward to what he’s going to do, or looking back on what he’s already done. (Kind of the opposite of Karkat’s continuously hostile relatioinship with his past and future selves!)

He regards other people almost entirely in terms of either the utility that they bring to the table, or their ability to gratify him personally. Violence is his absolute first instinct though, when encountering another living being, and he basically only entertains other possibilities if he cannot realistically kill them. At least at this stage.

https://homestuck.com/story/5510

In any case, we’ll check in on the Alpha Kids tomorrow. For now, Cam signing off, Alive, and Deeply entertained by Caliborn pretty much as always.

#liveblogging #commentary

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insertdisc5 · 5 years

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homestuck epilogues stuff

thoughts about the homestuck epilogues, as in, spoilers and theories and things ive noticed by reading it over twice and talking with friend @kravicle while they were reading

this is just a list of theories me and krav came up with ok. also stuff u might not pick up in only one read? we’re just spitballing here

MEAT AND CANDY TEREZI ARE PROBABLY ONE AND THE SAME

> just didnt see proof they weren't the same lmao, we only get john+terezi's messages from both timelines and she could have gotten messages from both meat!john and candy!john

>time is fucked on her end also so (shrugs)

>(terezi meeting meat!john) "something else is different about him. different, somehow, from how she thought he’d be when she imagined they’d next meet. under all the gore, he smells... too fresh."

>TEREZI: HMMM

TEREZI: YOU SM3LL OLD3R

TEREZI: BUT NOT 4S OLD 4S 1 THOUGHT YOUD B3

JOHN: what does that mean?

TEREZI: DONT WORRY 4BOUT 1T

>"In multiple realities, all [John] wanted for her was this. To be home safe, with all their friends. And now that she’s here, she’s lost."

> (meeting Meat!roxy) "Terezi’s head is filled with stories about a different version of Roxy—the polar opposite of the one standing in front of her."

DIRK’S PLAN PART 1 (free will)

>maybe plans to get Actual Free Will thru ultimate godhood??? also explains why he feels okay with removing free will from his friends- for him, this isnt real free will anyway?

>(dirk talking about kanaya) "What WAS she thinking? What are any of us thinking, really? Who’s doing the thinking, and who’s having the thoughts?

The more you study the question, the more it seems all concrete forms of accountability go up in smoke. Her original thoughts were never that important, and the significance of the idea that she was the one authoring them was always a bit overrated. My mission is to someday clear this all up for everyone. Remove the ambiguity, suck the mud out of the water. It’ll be a lot better that way, trust me."

>to old callie, dirk's plan "[john’s] ultimate sacrifice was made to put the missing keystone in place and avert the supreme dissipation of all that shall be considered to hold truth, relevance, and essentiality."

>although narrator callie thinks this world has some sort of actual free will. says "[john should kiss terezi etc]. it’s wrong to contradict one’s true thoughts and feelings. irrational. unbecoming of an existence governed by free will."

>his plan to give everyone/ultimate gods “free will” will end up destroying canon????

DIRK’S PLAN PART 2 (complacency of the learned, ultimate self)

>complacency of the learned, 12 people attaining ultimate knowledge (=ultimate self), and turning "either insane or evil"

> (candy ending, rose’s POV) "The thoughts in her powerful brain race. What will they name the planet? How long will it take for the ship to arrive? Once the new race has established an advanced enough civilization thousands of years from now, who will the lucky kids be? The ones who get the chance to play what will arguably be the most important session in the history of Sburb?"

>finding more people to attain ultimate godhood???

>dirk asks terezi to come with him and rose at the end of meat, along with john's body (implied that she did accept-callie!jade points and dave thinks she points both to dirk+rose and john+terezi, callie doesnt prove him otherwise)

>dirk wants 12 ultimate gods for each aspect????

>"If your perception expands beyond the meat sack of your body, then are you really an individual anymore? Why shouldn’t we become gods? Why shouldn’t we become one God."

- (callie speaking) "[John] is simply being barred from ignoring his true thoughts. even without the aid of a juju, he is fortunate enough to be blessed with the only true form of divinity. to be released from the prison of nonsensical inhibitions which so often psychologically hobble the more primitive forms of life."

>callie is probably an ultimate god, terezi should be?? with rem8mb8r?

DIRK’S NARRATOR STUFF

>dirk probably doesnt know hes in a story/that he has an audience (us) "How can I respect a fucking pronoun when nobody can even hear me?”

>does dirk control people by using you-ness? using 2nd person to control, 3rd person to narrate?

>”JADE: and where there is an identity, there can also be an agenda.”

CANDY TIMELINE STUFF

>part of the black hole, a utopia, place removed from reality/canon in some way??? WEIRDO DREAM BUBBLE????

>cut off from canon in some way- dirk and rose cant get to ultimate godhood anymore, john cant use retcon powers

>candy!john mentions multiple times he doesnt think of him and his friends as "real"

>sky in candy!timeline described as more vibrant (VS pre-sburb being described as muted)

>candy!karkat talking to sollux and probably being foreshadowing without knowing: “KARKAT: I THOUGHT THAT YOU TWO LITERALLY DIDN’T EXIST ANYMORE! KARKAT: OR AT THE VERY LEAST WERE TRAPPED IN A DEAD UNIVERSE PERPETUALLY COLLAPSING INTO ITS OWN ASSHOLE.”

>CALLIOPE: we’re all going to be very, very happy. I trUly believe that. ^u^

>ROSE: Oh Kanaya, you’re right.

ROSE: We are going to be so astonishingly happy!

>ROXY: omg

ROXY: were gonna be SO freakin happy!

>Dirk in Meat: "Cherubs are fuckin’ weird, I’ll totally concede. Still not sure what makes them tick. What they idealize, what they really want. It all comes across to me as a little cloying. Perfection to them is a sweetness beyond comprehension. Sugar so potent it’s poison to us. To our bodies, to our souls. Like the place she was operating from was a realm of self-construction. A bubble of pure, phantasmal confection."

>end of meat!callie can see into candy!timeline ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls

TEREZI: WH4T?

ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise

ROXY: some of it is like

ROXY: weird and violent??

ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um

ROXY: nudity????

TEREZI: >:?

ROXY: yeah yikes

ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit

>obama’s here. god i need a minute

>dirk told gamzee something???

“DAVE: wheres dirk

GAMZEE: tHeRe’S nO nEeD tO wOrRy AbOuT hIm. :o)

GAMZEE: YoU’rE gOnNa GeT wHaT’s BeSt FoR yOu. He ToLd Me ThAt, AnD i’M gOnNa MaKe SuRe HiS wIsH mAkEs LiKe A mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClE aNd GeTs TrUe.

[...]

GAMZEE: YoU dOn’T gOt AnY nEeD tO gO aNd CoNcErN yOuRsElF wItH hIs MoRtAl FlEsH bOdY oUt HeRe In ThIs CaNdYcAnE wHiRlPoOl BeYoNd ThE iNfInItE bLaCk WiNk Of ThE wIcKeD sInGuLaRiTy, My NiNjA.

GAMZEE: a SaCk Of MeAt AnD bOnEs In OnE lIfE oR tHe NeXt Is OnLy A mEaNs To ThE fInAl ToTaLiTy ThAt WiLl DaMn AnD rAiSe Us AlL iN bRiLlIaNt ApOtHeOsIs.

GAMZEE: In ThE oNe TrUe LiFe We AlL fLoW fRoM tHe OnE tRuE pEn,

GAMZEE: aNd EvErY hEaD rOlLs DoWn ThE pAtH tO tHe OnE tRuE hAnD.”

> dirk before killing himself: “ It is the very last moment of narratively consequential action that will happen in this whole, barren world. “

OTHER STUFF

> dirk teaching men about "combat, philosophy, life, love." (jake, dave, obama, not said explicitly but also probably gamzee????) what is UP with that

>gamzee also wanting to teach kid tavros about combat philosophy life love, “to behave the way a mentor does”

>re: john “Your complete lack of remarkability, specific motivation, drive, opinion on where to direct your own fate—these deficiencies are exactly what made you so useful, so susceptible to being endowed with the you-ness I’ve borrowed to satisfy my purposes.”

>at the end of meat, callie in jade's body in candy timeline kills lord english and gets big powers or whatever. cherub stuff

>terezi gets a text at the end of Meat, we dont know from whom (candy!(vriska)?)

>john left letters for everyone in Meat but no one’s found them yet?

>snapchats were probably before the split

>this whole post makes both me and krav sound like we’re been talking about this for 24 hours straight (we did)

#homestuck #upd8 #homestuck epilogue #homestuck epilogues #maybe this will help someone whos better at writing down stuff lmao #our brains hurt #DONT @ ME I DONT WANNA THINK ABOUT THE EPILOGUE ANYMORE #but yes i did love the epilogues thank u #this also isnt art im sorry

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maih-em · 4 years

Text

who am i tag

i was tagged by @fitzrove - thank you!!! :)

Name: Emma (a nice and generic one!)

Nicknames: Honestly don’t think I have one? My family occasionally call me Em but not a lot. I spent my whole childhood bitter that my name wasn’t very nickname friendly.

Zodiac: Gemini (but I’m kind of on the cusp of Cancer so it depends on what website you look at, I think. I always say Gemini though.)

Height: Literally bang on 5ft I’m so small

Languages: English. Also, I’ve done 7 years of Spanish in school so I’d like to think I’m semi-fluent (but my Spanish teacher would probably say different)

Nationality: British

Favourite season: SPRING. Like I love autumn for the aesthetic and summer because it’s holiday time, but spring is just so PRETTY. There’s something so lovely in realising suddenly that the air just feels different and that winter is giving way to spring. I love a good crisp spring afternoon when you don’t need a coat, but it isn’t too hot to wear one if you want to.

Favourite flower: I don’t really know a lot of flowers but orchids are so beautiful (but I find the concept of growing them very intimidating – my mum’s are constantly thriving and I don’t think I can ever live up to it)

Favourite scent: Just classic things like fresh cut grass, rain when it hasn’t rained for ages. I also love the smell of tomato stalks & also coffee (but this is a very Different vibe and depends on my mood)

Favourite fictional character: Well I have to say Morse (mainly Endeavour era but I’m slowly working my way through the original Inspector Morse series) & obviously Peter Jakes (my son). I haven’t finished watching the Witcher yet but Jaskier is such an icon! Other favourites include Dirk Gently (in the BBC America series) and Richard MacDuff (in the older BBC Dirk Gently series) 10th & 13th Doctors, Ollie from the Thick of It, and Fleabag!!

Coffee, hot tea, or hot chocolate: Tea 100%. I’m not a huge fan of hot chocolate – I find it too sickly even though I have the sweetest tooth known to man (I generally just eat the cream and marshmallows off the top and then immediately get fed up with it). Coffee I’ll have occasionally but nothing beats a good cup of tea. I have mine black and really weak (it’s basically just water to be honest) and sometimes I’ll but a little bit of sugar in it. And I love an Earl Grey if I’m feeling fancy!

Average sleep: When I don’t have to get up for college I’ll literally sleep until like 10 or 11 am, but that’s normally because I go to bed really late (recently I’ve struggled to go to bed before 1 because it feels like more effort to go to sleep than it is to stay up on my laptop). Generally I get a minimum of 7 hours.

Dogs or cats: cats all the way. I’ve not ever had pets and see very few animals in my day to day life, but dogs just intimidate me idk. I only like small breeds but even then, it’s a fine line. Cats, on the other hand, though I see a depressingly small number of cats and get to pet even fewer, are PERFECT IN EVERY WAY.

Number of blankets: 1

Dream trip: Probably going back to Iceland because I love it there, or to various mainland European cities like Amsterdam, Berlin etc.

Blog established: about April 2019 I think?? I’d just watched Icarus and was desperately looking for George Fancy content because I was crying too much to sleep. Only actively started using it around the summer because I had managed to lock myself out of the account because my browser fucked up so I couldn’t log in with an autosaved password and I have far too many emails/passwords/lost Tumblr accounts that finding it was almost hopeless. I swear every email I could think of ever having logged me into yet another discarded Tumblr that I’d made at some point between 2015 and 2017 and never used again.

Random fact: uhh I have no idea what to say for this I’m so boring. Literally all I can think of right now is that I see pain kind of as shapes? Idk how to explain that u can do with that information what you will.

Gender: female

Current time: 8:55pm

Favourite artists: Hozier, Ashnikko, Pulp, idkhow, sundara karma and probably millions more.

Stuck in my head: Say So by Doja Cat because it keeps coming up as an ad on Youtube and Instagram.

Last movie I saw: I watch films so rarely that I genuinely don’t know I’m having to try so hard to remember literally any films I’ve watched in the past year ugh. I think it was Maurice at some point between October and December but late 2019 has all merged into one for me so I have no clue what.

Last thing I Googled: what the dates were for being a Gemini or Cancer for one of the earlier questions.

Other blogs: none that I use- if I were to try and find every Tumblr that I’ve ever had we would literally be here all day.

Do I get asks: Not really, I did an ask challenge recently only to learn that you had to enable asks to receive them on Tumblr, so that gives an idea of how good I am with technology oops. I’d love to answer any u guys have though!

Reason for URL: This is just the name of my a03 account. Honest to god I was making my a03 account in like 2018. because I had a fic I wanted to post and I was like hmmm, I need a funky username oh god I’m so bad at usernames and this was literally the first collection of words that came into my head. They mean absolutely nothing.

Followers/following: 27 followers, I’m following 41

Lucky number: I wouldn’t say I have a lucky number, but my favourite number is 4

Currently wearing: PJs, which was a mistake because it’s making it very hard to motivate myself to get up and have a well-needed shower.

Dream job: Idk I’ve always liked the idea of being a teacher but other than that I have absolutely no idea.

Favourite foods: Oh god this is so hard to pick. Redcurrants, minestrone soup, feta, kale, wraps, I could go on infinitely.

Instruments: I’ve owned a guitar for years and yet can only play a very small range of chords quite badly. I’m a little better at ukulele mainly because it’s a better size for my tiny hands. I play a little bit of piano, but I don’t practice as much as I’d like because I don’t like doing it when other people are around idk.

Favourite song: it changes all the time but currently Sour Times by the Civil Wars (which I found on @bryndeavour ’s ‘falling in a chain reaction’ playlist which I’ve been listening to almost exclusively for an entire week.) Also probably Damn it all by The Staves, working bitch by ashnikko, coconut skins by damien rice, that’s all i can think of right now

I’m sure most people have been tagged already but if anyone who hasn’t would like a go, consider this me tagging you!

#tag meme #these things really bring out my inability to stop talking #this is so long i got carried away

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theorynexus · 4 years

Text

This would seem to bring us to Post Number 60, the 62nd post of this series, if you count the decimalized ones.

LAST TIME ON MEAT EPILOGUE It would seem we are returning to John and Terezi, this time--- wooo!~ Apparently, he looks pretty bad. This is unfortunate. On the other hand: YES, MEAT EPILOGUE CHAPTER/SECTION 6!!!

Hey, don’t try to shame John for being the sub in this situation. It’s not like he has experience with that kind of thing (not that it’s something generally to be ashamed of: I’m just saying that it is something he seems to be somewhat embarrassed about, and his inexperience meant that it wasn’t exactly by choice on his part--- which is not to suggest that Terezi molested him in any way). Aaaannnd Trolls (especially highbloods) are supposed to be particularly vicious in nature, generally, right? It makes a whole lot of sense that that would extend to the bedroom, as well.

... But yeah, that doesn’t help with his health. He was already doing pretty badly, just after the surgery. He didn’t really need that sort of mess tacked on afterward. Oh, and... why “mysteriously” sticky, you derp? XD

And I am glad you were kidding. (That slapping was very interesting to hear. Hmmm.) Yeah, him being confused and uncertain about it also feels just about right~ ~~~ On a random note, I am reading this just after going through the memo where Karkat, John, and Dave were talking about romance/the propagation of the species, and KK insisted that John and Dave stay away from troll women. That makes this all wonderfully hilarious, in retrospect.

Huh. I’ve never seen “cuckold” used in that sort of context before. Indeed, this is quite the question, though. Could John Egbert handle a blackrom? A caligionous one, at that? A very hard question, that is. I’m not sure he’s emotionally capable of giving himself into the kinds of hate and playful ribbing that would be constantly involved in that kind of relationship, if healthy. I suspect it might have been just a particularly violent flushed thing, though. We’ll see.

Pffft. Slithers. That said: Huh. I was not expecting that turn. Let’s see where this goes~

Oh my gosh, Dirk, would you stop being such a downer? XD I think this is indeed very, very cute~ Soul-shattering is a weird sort of term to use there, for a normal person. Seems right for Dirk, though. He understands the nuances of how shattering can be more or less than a whole break.

That is practically the definition of a subjective judgment. I know you’re being ironic and all, but come on, man, that’s just base as heck. But yeah, I think he might have it bad, indeed.

The question here is, “Does he mean to suggest that Andrew Hussie is God to him, or does he mistakenly [in the context of Homestuck, which has given no distinct evidence for it] believe that there was a God that he actually usurped?” “replaced” is a very interesting and useful word, here, given the working interpretation that I have is indeed that he is interpreting AH as God and likely believes him to have abandoned Homestuck, thus removed himself from his directorial capacity over its narrative, until he managed to take over.

WHY ARE NEITHER OF YOU THINKING OF RETCON-PORTING IN TO RESCUE HER FROM HER DEMISE BEFORE IT HAPPENS?!?!?!? But yeah, you really should get home and recover first, if it is possible.

Whoops. Not a good sign. Noooot a good sign.

The Power of Three is a very strong thing.

Here we gooooooo!!!~ The first time (I think) that I’ve continued a post beyond one page!!!

No. Also, probably Jake English. He has strange effects on people.

Wow, someone’s a bit miffed. That said: Hooray, acknowledgement by the narrative! :’D

I do not appreciate your repeated suggestions that Jake is dumb! That said: No. No, I do not want to engage in wanton promiscuity with such a man. I am, to put it quite simply, not interested in meaningless sexual encounters with people I am not deeply connected with. Even if I had such a bond with Jake English, I would not be inclined to engage in such activities. Quite frankly, I am not exactly partial to the type of equipment he sports. As for the political side of things... well, that’s complicated. Yeah, people can indeed become far too energized by the attractiveness of candidates and those associated with them, rather than their substance. Maybe that’s the case, here. I’d like to think that the actual results of the election will in fact prove people wrong. Maybe there will be exit polls that we can see excerpts of to judge things for certain. I don’t know~

FINALLY, SOMEONE FRICKING ADMIRES THE SUFFERER!!!

Eh? I mean, I guess even Dave and Karkat were acknowledging the possibility of a misstep. We’ll see what happens.

Heee’s probably gonna try to sabotage this, isn’t he? Also, I wish I were more familiar with human muscle anatomy.

“The Kibosh” is a good phrase to use. That said: ***snerk*** It’s like Karkat has wedding day jitters. XD

Man, it is annoying how spiteful you are toward him, Dirk. Can you give him a break for just a second? I mean, you probably caused the sweating to begin with.

Wow. Such dudebroism, which I just suddenly realized/-membered Dirk was supposed to slightly embody, somewhat. (I blame Gamebro Magazine, and the sharp contrast between the diction there and Dirk’s writing style.) That is a funny description, though, the brain-tonguing. Also, gosh, Jake is nervous.

Oh, hey, I think Dave’s going to finally get a feel for the Narrative, and maybe end up confronting Dirk. That will be incredibly interesting.

Wow, this is getting to him. It’s like he’s made of sugar, and someone’s just begun to drizzle water on him. Or maybe made of witch.

***lip curls up in a snarl*** Dave better make this quick. I am somehow edging on more angry at this Unreliable Narrator than I was before Alt!Calliope took over...!

Well, that’s, umm... interesting. Particularly, the cultivated Obfuscating Stupidity bit. But moreso the fact that Dirk will acknowledge he’s smarter than he seems.

Yes... I think I most definitely am more furious than ever at this piece of garbage, now. After the sweet taste of freedom that Jake was finally able to feel, and the burst of confidence he’d found in it, you pour all of this blithering waste on him? Jane was trying to use him! I’m sure she hasn’t loved him for a long time, and even then, I Jake never toyed with her heart intentionally, I’m sure! Grrrrr...!

Honestly, though, he brings up a complicated and intriguing question. Jake has definitely been used and abused throughout his history, and at least part of his recent activity to exploit his Hope-y Assets must have been Dirk’s doing, but how much of his sexually promiscuous revelry has actually been something that he would not and did not choose, say, as a result of his drinking problem, rather than him reveling in his identity as a

WORLD RENOWNED EXPLORER-NATURALIST-TREASURE HUNTER-ARCHEOLOGIST-SCIENTIST-ADVENTURER-BIG GAME HUNTER-BILLIONAIRE EXTRAORDINAIRE

just as your pre-Scratch self was? Regardless of the level of culpability he actually has in the matters of his life, he is nowhere near deserving of this kind of shaming, and Dirk should be ashamed of himself for this kind of disgusting behavior which he is almost certainly engaging in specifically to throw Jake off.

Oh, also, victim blaming is BS, and the answer is an unequivocal, “You, you insincere, megalomaniacal, self-justifying dirtbag.”

***is so fricking ANGRY that it is taking a great deal of willpower not to release a roar of primal fury and break my hand on my computer screen*** THIS IS NOT HOW HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS WORK!!! THAT IS NOT HOW SOMEONE WHO IS ACTUALLY WILLING TO SUBMIT TO YOU LIKE THAT WILL BEHAVE, YOU FFF--- ***RRRRRGH!!!***

YOU HAD BETTER NOT FRICKING LISTEN TO THIS GARBAGE, JAKE!!! RESIST HIS INFLUENCE, AND--- Huh. The thought just occurred to me that both Dave and Jake could be interpreted as stand-ins for Simon, if Dirk were Kamina (despite how different Kamina’s personality is from Dirk’s), because Simon really seems like he could be interpreted as a Page of Hope too, for some reason (but curse my ADHD! XwX) ---AND DEFEAT HIM WITH YOUR HOPE BUBBLE!!!

... At least he apologized. For what that is worth. This is going to seem so obvious to Dave, though. Obviously, he isn’t going to kill his Bro, but... well, let’s see how things turn out. Hmm. Also, this is hilarious insofar as it derailed the press conference and probably took away much of the steam that could have been generated for the Karkat/Vantas ticket by Jake’s endorsement, but it doesn’t exactly do all that much for Jane Crocker’s side, either. It was a very sickening and weird spectacle, but I am not sure how it will actually play out in their favor? Seems like it might cause Jane’s side trouble, and might cause tensions between them.

I still can never consistently remember what “smh” means. But yes, “HICCUP???” is right. STOP HIM, DAVE!!!

TACKLE HIM AWAY INTO THE FUTURE!!!

Realistically, he should have no problem with speed at all. Time power shown a la cheating with Jade in games should let him get there instantly, and even his flash step that he has shown since before entering the Game should allow him to get there on time. Man, Dirk is a prick about manipulating things. Especially since we are going to see things derailed and shift to another setting, right when Jake is supposedly going to make the biggest contribution he’ll ever make. WHICH DOESN’T EVEN FRICKING MAKE SENSE!!!

#Homestuck Epilogue #Homestuck Spoilers #Homestuck Liveblog #Rage #Dirk Strider #Evil #Piece of Garbage

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