Absolutely in love with the epic & ongoing bredlik project by @marvinhere over on the @renegadepublishing Discord. This is actually my second (third?) binding, the other one (two?) started back in February but currently languishing in WIP hell. Not quite the floppy, snuggly cow book I wanted/had in mind but it's a good start. Happy to have figured out a construction method for those legs I like & will improve upon next time.
This is volume 3, the poems wrangled and typeset by @marvinhere with illustrations by the mysterious Jenny (IG: thimblejuice). The Discord has been sharing every poem members come across as well as crafting some on the fly. The whole thing is a joyful project and in addition to Marvin's own binding (shared on Discord), @zhalfirin has bound two exquisite copies of it as well [1][2].
Am suuuuper psyched for the next volume currently in the works, so you can expect a herd of these babies at some point!
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hello, dearest.
it’s lavender, if you couldn’t already tell from the formalities. this message will be far shorter than others sent previously, as my phone is about to die, but rest assured that i am planning on sending something longer later tonight, once you reply.
this only serves as proof that i am still alive, and missing you dearly.
i believe the last message i sent you was concerning orders and obedience, and i’m sure you were the perfect little puppy i knew you could be, following my instructions down to the letter. so good for me. <3
you’re such a very good, strong dog, jasper. you always do so well. imagine i’m ruffling your hair, sweet boy. hehe.
- yours truly, lavender.
Wagging wagging wagging I have certainly missed you as well Lavender! <3
And I certainly did follow your orders to a T, rode my bike for a bit that night before doing my push ups and some weight training, and my stretches of course. Wore my bandana to bed and slept like a good pup, and woke up very very needy. So thank you for that, I had a lot of fun haha :3
I’ve got some things going on tonight so I might not be able to respond til the morning if you send another message- but do know I will be sitting and patiently waiting like a good boy. Arf arf, giving you some puppy kisses!
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what i felt with you
i feel so broken
to still be thinking of you
after, what, the third time
you've ghosted me?
i'm such an idiot
i don't even love you anymore
or know if i want to be friends
with how much this hurts
but no one compares to you
after three months on dating apps
and years of searching so hard
for something, anything, worth fighting for
i can say with certainty
nothing compares
to what i felt with you
and i still don't want to lose it
even though i know
everything we had is long gone
\\
by now
with all your silences
i should be used to feeling worthless
and not good enough
but i don't want
to feel this miserable anymore
once, i would have waited weeks, months
just to hear from you
now the more i see you online
the more i know
i don't matter to you at all
\\
and isn't it ironic
that you were so worried about my exes
when yours is still the only name on my mind?
how can i let go
when i remember everything
like it happened yesterday?
how can i move on
when i still don't understand
what really happened?
i don't know i don't know i don't know
\\
maybe you think
i'm not accepting my part
but all the things i said
and all the things i didn't
still haunt me
in the middle of the night
i'm just tired of being
the only one apologising
when i'm not the only one
who did something wrong
\\
and i know, i know
this is the harshest poem
i've ever written about you
i'm sorry
there won't be another
i just know i deserve better
and i don't know any other way
to process how much
everything fucking hurts
\\
- Cassiopeia, November 27th, 2023
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top 5 reasons why you want me as your slut :
• I will love you whole heartedly & unconditionally
• I will get your body and soul go to a different dimension
• you will be mesmerized by the way I treat you both sexually and etc
• I will give you 10/10 back rubs
• I will give you the world 🌎 & go to any lengths to help you
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always a bridesmaid, never a bride
at least everyone has that instead of wondering why
cause i'm never a bridesmaid, never will be a bride
and i've sat on my floor and cried
i can't figure it out, why i'm never enough
can't walk down the aisle in white or maroon
and i can't even gather up the courage to ask the tough stuff
like why did you change your mind, why leave me on the outside, why never even tell me why?
cause i sit here thinking that i'm not enough
enough times without you changing your mind
saying that i can't walk behind you as a bridesmaid while you are a bride
and i'm not trying to damper this joyous occasion
maybe that's why I've bit my tongue and tried self persuasion
cause every single one of your friends is involved - except for me
and i can't help but drown in my misery
i feel like i failed some kind of test
cause everyone's a bridesmaid
everyone's a bride
and i'm stuck on the sidelines
wondering why
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